With SEX, No Drugs and Rock'n Roll Through Menopause

Dedication

This book is dedicated to all the women in this world that like me, give their best to their loved ones, might struggle and fall when life is tough, cry and vent but then get up and going and find something positive in every experience. 

For the women that have struggled like me when the nest is empty.

For the women that, like me, always longed to feel that they are loved, appreciated and enough. 

For the women that like me, had to start again after the loss of a relationship or your partner. 

For the women that when menopause hit, felt way too young for this. 

For the women that want more love and fun in their life now!

We are all ONE! 

Welcome to your new life

I wrote this book for you because I had a hell of a time getting used to this new life and I truly didn’t want any of it! I felt I was way too young for menopause, I felt this was going to be the start of me being an old lady when I still see myself as the same old cool rock chick that I have always been. 

Can you relate? 

Let me quickly introduce myself, this book is about you so I will keep it brief. My name is Susanne McAllister, and I feel that I am a citizen of the world. I feel most at home in Australia, then Ireland, and then Germany (the country I was actually born in). I lived in many places, and I love to learn new things and have a bunch of degrees. I love studying, especially in relation to people and health, emotional and physical. The pride of my life are my two gorgeous daughters Caroline and Gabriella. My husband passed of cancer, so did my best friend and my mum, and this is why I am so determined for you to have a beautiful, healthy, happy, and meaningful life. Because this is what gives my life meaning, to share what I know and be the guide for women just like you, to go through menopause and beyond naturally and holistically and to truly live your best life, whatever that might look like for you. 

These are my reasons as to why I am here. Why are you here? Maybe you already have a fantastic life and all you need is to figure out some remedies to balance your hormones so that you can stop your hot flashes and not feel like an erupting volcano in the most inconvenient moments? Maybe you have put on some weight around your middle and feel sluggish and have no energy and hope to find a way to feel like yourself again? Or maybe you can’t sleep at night, and the lack of sleep plus the rollercoaster of emotions has turned you into someone that is sometimes raging, sometimes moody and sometimes cries her eyes out and doesn’t even know why? Maybe you want to find a new way of being, and you know that something has been missing in your life for a long time but because you were super busy with the kids or / and your work, you never even noticed this much until now. Maybe you have a long-term partner or a newer one or a looking for one and would love to know how to get through menopause and get your sex drive back or add a little spark into your love life? 

Whatever your reason is for being here, Welcome! I am so glad you are here and found me and this book and my tribe of women from all over the world that want the same thing:

To feel like ourselves again but possibly even better, that want to stop the menopausal symptoms, love our bodies and figure out who we are now and what else is possible for us now.

You are at the right place! What you are going to learn in this book is the answer to all of the above and will answer questions like:

What menopause really is and how you know what is going on with your body

Tests you need to know about and how to talk to your Doctor

Questions about HRT and tell you the good and the bad

The most common menopausal problems and natural remedies that really help

Which foods will make you feel great and help you find your glow plus a 7-day meal plan to kick start your weight loss

Which supplements to take to stop symptoms and feel great again

How to treat yourself with homeopathy with side effects for harmful chemicals

How to sleep again and beat fatigue and stress

The emotional impact of menopause

How you can hypnotise, breathe, and mind control your symptoms away

How to create a home in menopause that feels like a sanctuary

Instructions for your partner on how they can help you

How to love your body and move it in JOY

How to use tantra and have a better sex life

How to help your foggy mind 

All about eliminating toxins in your home and body to gain health and vitality

Where to from now and how to find your tribe and new life meaning

As you might have gathered now, it’s not a case of popping a pill and your life is back, our symptoms stop and you are happy! This is work, but it’s work that you do for YOU! Working on yourself is the greatest gift you can give yourself. And you are so worth the effort, don’t you think? 

This is the time where you have the amazing opportunity to transform yourself into a wise woman! A wise woman that knows what is good for her and acts right for her! A wise woman that loves and accepts herself entirely, that is happy with her life and can enjoy every moment! Chances are that if you read this book, you live in a country where women’s life expectancy is around 87 at the moment! Which means there are many years left after you have gone through menopause to live the life you have always dreamed of. You don’t have to be an old granny that sits by the fire not able to move, lamenting the times gone by as if the NOW doesn’t count at all. Let me tell you that the NOW does count! Every day does and every second does, even if it is peppered by annoying or debilitating symptoms! You have Today to make your life count! Nobody knows if we have tomorrow! Sorry for my slightly morbid thoughts, but when you have lost many near and dear ones as I have, you also know that sometimes the shittiest day is still a day you had! And if I could even have one of the worst days I had with my loved ones, I would! 

So, let’s figure this thing called menopause out together for you so that your days will be amazing ones! 

What is menopause and how to know if you are in menopause or peri-menopause?

Now don’t faint when you read this checklist! By NO means do you have to have any of these symptoms at all whilst going through menopause! Some women, like my friend Vicki, just sailed through. No symptoms, no craziness, one day she was a woman ovulating and the next day she was not! As easy as that, ram bam Thank you, Ma’am! So that could be YOU! A lot also depends on what you believe will be will be! One of my mentors Caroline Myss once said: what you fear the most, will happen! Makes sense because we put so much of our precious life energy into the things that we fear. And the things we focus our energy on are the things we tend to manifest in our life! The so-called good ones and the so-called bad ones. 

What Is Menopause

Menopause is the period of time in a woman’s life in which her menstrual periods stop, and she is no longer fertile. The average age of menopause is about 51 years, but it can last anywhere from age 40 to 59 years of age. Menopause is usually preceded by perimenopause by a few years. 

In perimenopause, the hormone levels of oestrogen and progesterone normally produced by the ovaries begin to decrease. The periods become irregular but do not stop altogether. Women can get symptoms of menopause during perimenopause (hot flashes, night sweats, and mood changes, to name a few) but they aren’t as frequent as when a woman reaches menopause.

Premature Menopause

Premature menopause is sometimes referred to as premature ovarian failure or primary ovarian insufficiency. This is when the ovaries begin to fail prior to the age of 40. The ovaries do not produce enough oestrogen, and ovulation occurs sporadically or not at all. This results in early infertility, which is difficult to treat. 

The term premature menopause is often used interchangeably with premature ovarian failure, but they are not exactly the same thing. 

Women in premature menopause actually stop having their period prior to age 40, while women with premature ovarian failure can still have some ovulation and will have irregular periods, often lasting several years. The treatment for premature ovarian failure is oestrogen replacement therapy, which helps the symptoms but does not treat the infertility.  

The Three Stages of Menopause

There are actually three stages a woman goes through as part of the menopausal process. These include the following:

Perimenopause. This is when the ovaries begin to decrease their production of oestrogen. There will be some symptoms of hot flashes and other menopausal symptoms, but the woman will have occasional periods. Mood swings are common in perimenopause. Many women enter perimenopause sometime in their 40s while other women do not have this stage at all.

Menopause. This is when the periods finally stop. The woman is said to be in menopause when she has not had a period for at least 12 months. There are often symptoms, including mood swings, hot flashes, and night sweats. Menopause can last for 1-3 years.

Post-menopause. This is when the periods have finally stopped, and the ovaries are no longer producing much oestrogen at all. Usually, the symptoms taper off, but many women continue to have dry vaginal mucosa and are at an increased risk for osteoporosis and heart disease.

Symptoms of Perimenopause

As mentioned, some women will not have any symptoms in perimenopause, while others will have noticeable symptoms. Common symptoms of perimenopause include the following:

Hot flashes and night sweats. These are feelings of increased bodily warmth and flushing of the face. They can occur at any time of the day or night and can be uncomfortable. If they happen at night, the woman can experience night sweats, in which she wakes up drenched in sweat.

Irregular periods. The ovaries may still ovulate, but they do so in no predictable pattern. This can result in periods that are shorter than normal or periods that are longer than normal. The menstrual flow may be very heavy, especially if the period is short. Sometimes periods are skipped altogether, causing the woman to worry that she might be pregnant.

Mood swings. Some women in perimenopause may suffer from an increased risk of depression or irritability during this stage. Sleep may be elusive as night sweats, and hot flashes can happen during the night.

Bladder difficulties. The urethral tissue is responsive to oestrogen, and when oestrogen decreases, the urethral tissue also shrinks. This can lead to incontinence of urine. It can also lead to painful intercourse because the cervix no longer produces increased cervical mucus during sex.

Decrease in libido. A woman in perimenopause can have a decrease in sexual desire. She may not want to have sex as much as she did before. Sometimes, this is not a problem as the couple becomes adjusted to the change in sexual activity and desire, however other couples may not be as lucky, and this situation may lead to tension and problems in the relationship.

Decreased ability to get pregnant. The rate of ovulation goes down during perimenopause, so the woman has a reduction in the ability to get pregnant. Pregnancy can still happen, so if you do not want to get pregnant, you should still continue to use some form of birth control until menopause occurs.

Osteopenia. The strength of the bones depends on high circulating levels of oestrogen. As oestrogen levels decline, the bone mass decreases, and there is a risk for osteoporosis that can increase a woman’s risk of having bone fractures.

Symptoms of Menopause

As menopause approaches and the periods stop, the symptoms resulting from low oestrogen levels become obvious. Common symptoms of menopause include the following: 

Stoppage of periods. The periods will begin to become irregular and will eventually stop. When you haven’t had a period for 12 months in a row, it means you have likely reached menopause. For some women, it’s time to celebrate, and others feel sad because their fertility is finally gone. Being in touch with your feelings, and not doing this season of your life alone truly helps.

Increased hot flashes. The hot flashes may be similar to those in perimenopause but can be more frequent and more intense. Most hot flashes last as little as 30 seconds or as much as 10 minutes before you feel better. About 2/3 of all women will experience hot flashes as a part of their menopausal symptoms.

Vaginal dryness. Without the protective effect of oestrogen and progesterone, the cervix and vagina do not secrete as much fluid. This can result in pain during intercourse as well as an increased risk of yeast infections, bladder infections, and vaginal itching. It is best treated with a water-based lubricating gel such as KY jelly.

Sleeping difficulties. While in menopause, sleep can be difficult. You may have difficulty getting to sleep at night or may wake earlier in the morning, with difficulty in falling back to sleep. Good sleep habits can help prevent this complication.

Incontinence of Urine. Women in menopause may experience an increase in the urge to urinate or incontinence of urine. Stress incontinence can occur, which is the kind of incontinence that occurs when coughing, lifting heavy objects, or sneezing. Urge incontinence is the type of incontinence that causes you to have sudden urges to void, sometimes not making it to the toilet before urinating.

Bladder infections. Women in menopause may have more bladder infections than normal. This is because the lack of oestrogen has resulted in atrophy of the urethral lining, making way for bacteria to have a greater chance of traveling up to the bladder, resulting in an infection. Drinking plenty of water can help reduce the chances of getting a bladder infection.

Decreased sex drive. The lack of male and female hormones in the woman’s blood can result in a decreased interest in sex. There may be fewer orgasms or no orgasms at all. This can be treated with prescription medications that help a woman achieve an orgasm.

Vaginal dryness. The walls of the vagina become thinner because they no longer have oestrogen to build up the lining. This can cause pain during intercourse, which can only be managed with over the counter vaginal lubricants. Oestrogen in a vaginal ring can restore some of the vaginal dryness.

Increased mood swings. Mood swings and depressive symptoms can result from a lack of oestrogen. The fluctuations in female hormones affect the brain as well as the rest of the body, so there will be reductions in the neurotransmitters that are necessary to maintain a healthy mood.

Skin and Hair Changes. Menopause can increase the rate of hair loss that the hair will be thinner than before menopause. There will be a loss of body fat and collagen that the skin will become more wrinkled, and will have decreased elasticity and increased dryness.

Menopausal symptoms can last a few months or a few years. They can also last for a few weeks and then go away for many months before starting up again. Most women will have a decrease in menopausal symptoms once they finally go through the menopausal stage. 

See also the checklist at the end of the book for a list of symptoms that might indicate you are in menopause. 

Now, take a deep breath and know that most of these can be taken care off with the right lifestyle, foods, supplements, and joyous movement! 

Now exhale and read about the tests that I recommend to my clients and also questions that you might want to ask your doctor. 

Tests you need to know about and questions to ask your Doctor 

Doctors are gods in white was the belief system I grew up with! You would never ask questions or doubt their opinion! I have to say this was neither helpful nor true. Thanks to Dr. Google, we can educate ourselves much better than we ever could before. Although there is also the chance that you could misdiagnose yourself and freak yourself out completely, so be aware and cautious.

Never let your Doctor put you down or not to take you seriously! You are the one that keeps him or her in their job. They are a service provider, and it is up