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    Suburban Dictionary: The Winking Words Series, #1
    Suburban Dictionary: The Winking Words Series, #1
    Suburban Dictionary: The Winking Words Series, #1
    Ebook118 pages1 hour

    Suburban Dictionary: The Winking Words Series, #1

    By Timothy Fay

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    About this ebook

    Know what a Tes-hole is? Hint: A Tesla owner who thinks he or she is the sh*t. Called "fun," and "useful," Suburban Dictionary is a guide to slang, and a guide to the quirky characters sighted in the 'burbs. Suburbanese: The Subtle, The Funny, and The Snarky, with generous helpings of sarcasm. Over 130 pages of fun and (sometimes) snarky expressions to use at home, at work, and beyond. A guide to Suburbanese, and the "slang of the rich" for old hands, newbies, and those learning English.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherTimothy Fay
    Release dateApr 2, 2019
    ISBN9781732058408
    Suburban Dictionary: The Winking Words Series, #1

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      Book preview

      Suburban Dictionary - Timothy Fay

      Copyright 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, by Timothy Fay.

      Registered with the US Copyright Office:

      July 16, 2017.

      All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, or the facilitation thereof, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the author, except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review. Any educational institutions wishing to photocopy part or all of the work for classroom use should obtain written permission from the author.

      Cover photo by Alexander Lobanov. Photo copyright Alexander Lobanov. Used with permission.

      Cover design by Timothy Fay.

      Cover design copyright Timothy Fay.

      The content of this book is for information and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended as investment advice. Seek a duly licensed professional for investment advice.

      The entries expressed in this book are those of the author, or are the views of other parties who may be quoted. The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the views or policies of the author’s employer.

      Dedicated to those who survived,

      and to those who did not survive,

      the housing crisis and

      Great Recession of 2007 to 2013.

      God bless us all.

      If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need.

      Marcus Cicero, Rome, First Century BC

      Invitation

      This book is a user’s guide to suburbanese, as well as a guide to the quirky behavior found in the burbs. The snarky and the cheeky make many appearances, along with generous helpings of sarcasm. Euphemisms, a hallmark of suburbanese, get special treatment. We give a nod to cul-de-sac personalities, such as the neighborhood eccentric and the Goth kids. Even the recluse a few doors down makes a (rare) appearance.

      There was a need for a book about that talks about things that can get you into trouble—sex and drugs are examples—but that does so with expressions that won’t get you into trouble should you care to repeat them.

      Words from overseas make the cut if they are amusing or if they strike a chord about family life. For instance, Nappy Valley, a Brit phrase for a neighborhood that is overrun with toddlers, squeaked by. Wet leaves, a phrase that Japanese wives use for unemployed husbands, was also included. (Unemployed husbands stay at home all day and can’t easily be swept away, like wet leaves.)

      Most of all, amusing terms about family and life in the burbs were admitted. Niblings, a catchall term for nieces or nephews, is an example. Lollipop lady, the British term for a crossing guard, is another. Solar panel, a term for a bald spot on the back of a bloke's head, was also included. A few fun but familiar words make appearances. Such entries include noogie, wedgie, and flat tire—ever-popular teen pranks.

      I gathered these expressions from years of reading (nearly anything) and listening to podcasts, TV, co-workers, and family. Working as a newspaper reporter and serving in the Army Reserve also helped. In most cases if a word has an entry in this book, it’s being used by the public. A few exceptions are words that were coined in Suburban Dictionary and noted as such. One example is Tes-hole: a Tesla driver that is quite impressed with himself or herself.

      In just a moment, we’ll check out the words and expressions in Suburban Dictionary. But first, I should warn you that collecting slang, zingers, and bolts of sarcasm is quite addictive.

      Please enjoy Suburban Dictionary and please visit our website www.suburbanese.com

      Suburban Dictionary Timothy Fay

      Numbers

      18: The key number when giving gifts at a bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah. Cash gifts should be in multiples of eighteen, such as $36, $54, or perhaps $180.

      201(k): Result of frequent withdrawals from someone’s 401(k) retirement plan.

      420: Term for pot smoking. Also a designated time (4:20 p.m.) when some smoke weed. The cannabis equivalent of beer thirty or happy hour. Also signifies the date of April 20th, which some proclaim as national cannabis day. April 20th is nearly considered a holiday in some parts of California.

      B-9: The parking space number (or room number) you should opt for at a hospital,  especially if you’re getting a suspicious lump checked out.

      R2D2: Nickname for a short, round person. Named for the resourceful droid of Star Wars fame. Filmmakers say the name sprang from reel 2, dialog track 2, later shortened to R2D2.

      Symbols

      #: Hashtag. Also called an octothorpe. Known as a pound sign in telephone lingo. A hashtag with a word or phrase, without spaces, highlights a (supposedly) trendy topic. Example: #girlscoutcookies.

      ... : Ellipsis. These three dots, midsentence or midtext, mean that part of the message must be left to the imagination. Example: She went over to his place. They talked ... She took the bus home the next morning.

      - A -

      abandominium: A vacant or abandoned property. Also refers to a building taken over by squatters.

      abandoned swimming pool: For neighborhood skateboarders, an instant skate park. Just remove water.

      ABC: 1. American-born Chinese. A person of Chinese blood who grows up with a strong knowledge of American culture and little or no accent when speaking English. See also: Banana, Chinglish, Chiwi. 2. Apply Butt in Chair. Cajoling expression for  anyone tackling a big project. 3. Always Be Closing. Slogan of salesmen/saleswomen.

      abstinence: A useful word in the suburbs, which means avoiding sexual activity or other mischief. Reasons for abstinence range from religious or well-being considerations to simply being unlucky. See also: dry spell; lackanookie.

      actually: Term that can denote surprise that someone succeeded. Example: I’ve learned not to tell my mother-in-law that her cooking actually tasted good.

      Adolf Hitler: Golf slang for having to take two shots in the bunker (sand trap).

      adorkable: Dorky yet adorable.

      A F: As f**k. Example: "These cronuts are good A F."

      See also: cronut.

      a few fries short of a happy meal: Cuckoo; stupid.

      afraid of the dark: Golf term for a ball that stops just short of the hole and refuses to drop in.

      aging hipsters: Term preferred by some over old folks, or senior citizens.

      AirGarage: Company modeled after Airbnb, but for renting parking spaces rather than homes. Homeowners near college campuses and other venues earn cash from customers wanting to ditch their cars temporarily.

      Air-conditioning the whole neighborhood: Traditional scolding given by moms and dads to a kid who leaves the door open. Often heard as Are you trying to air-condition the whole neighborhood? In reality, when you run a heat pump in the winter, you are trying to air-condition the whole neighborhood. See also: mansplanation.

      Example: Mom yelling at son: Are you trying to air condition the whole neighborhood?

      Teenage son: Yeah, Mom. I thought it was time to give back to the neighborhood.

      Alaska: The largest state in the US. Alaska does indeed have suburbs. Just ask the residents of the Anchorage suburb of Wasilla, who elected Sarah Palin as mayor. Palin would go on to become governor of Alaska. She also was nominated

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