Raising Independent Learners: A Guide to Online and Offline Schooling

Raising Independent Learners

A Guide to Online and Offline Schooling

Copyright © 2021 by Queena N. Lee-Chua, PhD

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without the written permission of the copyright owner and the publisher.

Published and exclusively distributed by

ANVIL PUBLISHING, INC.

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Cover and interior layout design by R. Jordan P. Santos

Cover and interior illustrations by macrovector and freepik

e-ISBN: 978-971-27-3639-1

Other Anvil Books by Queena N. Lee-Chua

10 Outstanding Filipino Scientists

Eureka! Thoughts on Math

Helping our Children Do Well in School

(with Ma. Isabel Sison-Dionisio)

Learning Series: What Parents, Students, and Teachers Should Know

Learning

Study Smart

Start the School Year Right

The Filipino Family Surviving the World: The Psychology of Pinoy Families

(with Ma. Lourdes A. Carandang)

In Love with Science: Outstanding Young Scientists Tell Their Stories

(edited with Leocadio S. Sebastian)

Growing Up Wired: Raising Pinoy Kids in the Digital Age

(with Ma. Isabel Sison-Dionisio, Nerisa C. Fernandez, and Michele S. Alignay)

Home Work Series (with Scott Lee Chua)

Home Work: Everything Parents Ask about School

Home Work 2: Everything Parents Ask about School (and Growing Up)

Lifeline: A Layperson’s Guide to Helping People

(with Lourdes Joy Galvez Tan, Melissa R. Garabiles, Ma. Tonirose de Guzman-Mactal, and Mary Jane Bergado-Flores)

Called to Serve: 11 Outstanding Filipino Role Models

(with Raquel S. Lucas)

To Julie Tiu, a friend indeed

Make new friends, but keep the old;

Those are silver, these are gold.

Friendships that have stood the test—

Time and change—are surely best.

–Joseph Parry

Contents

Preface

Chapter One: Start Right

Resolutions for Parents

Resolutions for Students

To Parents of College Students

Online Learning Issues

Schools Embrace E-Learning

Study Smart / Scott Says

Set Limits

Discipline is Not a Bad Word

Teens Talk about Growing Up Wired / Scott Says

Toxic Parenting / Scott Says

The Art of Praise / Scott Says

Should We Homeschool?

Tutoring 101

Make Tutoring Work for You

Chapter Two: Conquer the Schoolwork

Online Learning for College Students

How Ateneo Students Excel

How Public School Students Excel

The Power of the Router

Winning the Homework Battle

Make Homework Work for You / Scott Says

Much Ado over Multitasking

Why Multitasking Does Not Work

How to Counter Multitasking

Motivating Kids to Read

Straight Talk on E-Books / Scott Says

Acing a Math Test / Scott Says

What Research Entails

Hurdling Final Exams

Chapter Three: Train for Life

To the Class of 2020

My Most Memorable Students

Lessons My Mother Taught Me

Scott Says

Parenting 101

Brain Rules

A Fit Body Means a Fit Mind

Scott Says

In the Flow

Thinking Critically

Scott Says

How to Manage Boredom

Generation Me

Habits for a Happy Life

A Sense of Purpose

What to Do with the Time Given Us

PISA: What It Really Takes

About the Author

Preface

When classes closed in March 2020 due to the pandemic, I thought I would finally have some free time. I started helping my mentor, National Scientist and former Ateneo president Fr. Bienvenido Ben Nebres, put together his memoirs. Fr. Ben is certainly an independent learner. While doing a master’s degree in philosophy at the seminary, he taught himself the equivalent of college math by perusing books on his own, asking teachers when needed, and solving all the problems in the textbooks. He became Ateneo president, Jesuit provincial, and National Scientist. Today, at the age of eighty, he continues to teach classes, familiarizing himself with apps to best demonstrate complex math proofs. His memoir, At the Crossroads of Church and World, is deeply inspiring.

But before long, requests for webinars became incessant. Parents are worried about their children’s interrupted learning. Schools are confused about online learning. Students fear for their mental and emotional health. Family businesses, multinational corporations, civic groups want not just reassurance but also straight talk on resilience and strategies to live with courage and grace in the face of an unseen scourge.

Online learning remains my most popular webinar, and after I did a session for Anvil Publishing on July 11, 2020, Alexandra Xandra Ramos-Padilla suggested coming up with a book on online learning. The biggest problems families face though, even in online learning, stem from unresolved issues pre-pandemic, such as insufficient student motivation, children’s and teenagers’ lack of focus in and out of class, parent-child conflict on discipline and communication, and so on. These topics have already been tackled in my previous books, notably Helping Our Children Do Well in School, Learning, Home Work, Study Smart, Start the School Year Right, Growing Up Wired, and Lifeline.

My son Scott has also shared his thoughts in our joint book Home Work 2, and his voice informs several of the pieces here. Indulge a proud mother: Scott graduated in May 2020 from Yale-NUS (National University of Singapore) College, with a major in Economics and a minor in Mathematical, Computational and Statistical Sciences, summa cum laude, and an award for best capstone in the discipline. Scott was commencement speaker, and even if my husband and I regretted not being able to physically go to Singapore for this once-in-a-lifetime event, we are glad that several friends and loved ones tuned in to their online graduation.

Anvil editor Nicole Arianne Velasquez listened in on my webinars, went through my previous books, and collated the most useful writings to address the underlying need today: independent learning, both online and offline.

I updated these writings and included more recent pieces, from essays in the Philippine Daily Inquirer to transcripts of webinars for parents and students in the Ateneo de Manila (grade school to college), employees and civic groups, and teachers and school administrators adapting to online distance learning.

Thank you to my husband Smith and our son Scott who are the wind beneath my wings. Thank you to Ateneo, my second home for more than thirty years. Thank you to Xandra, Arianne, and R. Jordan P. Santos for the cover design and layout. Thank you to the Inquirer Business and Editorial sections, where versions of some pieces in this book first appeared. Thank you to readers and friends who shared thoughts to make these pieces more insightful.

Most of all, thank you to the parents, students, teachers, school personnel whose queries form the foundation of this book. I may not be able to answer all your questions, but I read or listen to each one. My heart goes out to you, and I wish you well.

As I write this now, pleas for help continue to pour into my inbox. May this book inspire us to continue learning, in whatever way we can, in these turbulent times.

October 2020

Chapter One: Start Right

Resolutions for Parents

It takes a village to raise a child.

A father asks: Is there such a thing as too much or too little parenting?

Parents and teachers need to work together to ensure that children learn in the most effective and satisfying ways possible. Whether you are a parent batch representative, or even if you haven’t attended any parent-teacher conference at all, you can always become a better guide.

Be present for your child, especially in significant events

For working parents, taking time off to attend school events requires advance planning and scheduling. Go ahead, do it. Look through the school calendar and cross out the days for parent-teacher conferences, father-son days, graduation, and so forth. You don’t want your child to rely on his teacher as a surrogate father during camp, do you? Or to ignore the teacher’s warning about your daughter’s falling marks? Or to miss graduation because you have to meet a client who is out of town?

If you break your promise of joining them in significant events, your children may forgive you (eventually), but they will never forget. And they may never fully trust you again.

Address academic difficulties early

If you wait until report-card day to deal with your child’s learning difficulties, then it may be too late. Flunking marks are not made overnight—they are the result of failed quizzes, missed homework, and poor long exams.

Keep communication lines open with your child. Ask him regularly if he understands the lessons. If not, ask him how you can help. Check up on his quizzes. If he constantly flunks, then something is wrong. Unless the majority of the class gets low marks (which in reality seldom happens, whatever your child may claim), repeated failure is a sign that your child needs help right away.

Schedule a consultation with the teacher immediately. Together with the teacher, develop a plan to help your child.

Help your child develop solid study habits

Studying well is a habit like any other. It can be developed over time with constant guidance. When your child comes home from school, does he deal with homework soon after, or does he procrastinate? Establish a routine for your child: snack, bath, homework, play, then sleep. If needed, give the yaya enough authority to enforce your dictum.

Just because you are at work does not mean you should relinquish all responsibility. Call home and check on your child. Remind him to put work before play. When you return home, check if he completed his homework (without doing the work for him).

Do not do assignments for your child. Your child is the learner, not you. Your task is to ensure that he does the work.

Learn to let go

There is such a thing, though, as being too present in your child’s life. Helicopter parents hover over their children, micromanaging each and every second, questioning their children’s decisions and never letting them make mistakes. Worse still, these parents fix the mistakes for their children.

Are you in school every day? Your child is the student, not you. Do you call up teachers frequently, so much so that they dread hearing from you? You need to know your child’s teachers, but consulting them for every little thing is overkill.

Let your child make mistakes. That is the only way children can learn. I am not saying that you should let your child flunk. But a score of eight out of ten points is not the end of the world, as long as your child understands his mistakes and corrects them the next time around.

If you are always doing their projects, papers, homework, they will never learn. If your children do something wrong and never learn to face the music, then they will never grow.

Stop comparing your child to others

Children have different strengths and weaknesses, and that is how it is. Think about how boring the world would be if everybody were a science genius!

Do you expect Junior to be a language whiz, just because his elder brother was editor-in-chief of the school paper? Accept that Junior may not turn out to be a writer. Maybe he is a budding painter! Are you hung up on your child’s marks, so that a 9-out-of-10 is unacceptable? Your child will become anxious, and he will stop enjoying school because of this. Do you call up other parents and compare the grades of different kids, crowing about your child when he is on top and trying to tear down others who did better? Recognize that children are different, and rejoice in the successes of others.

Parents who have a lot of time on their hands tend to compare their kids to others, basically because they have nothing else to do. Learn a hobby. Volunteer in church. Turn your energies into something positive. As my students put it, Get a life (outside of your kids).

Resolutions for Students

Prepare mentally, emotionally, and physically to optimize learning.

A Grade Six student says: Last year I did not do as well as I thought I would in school. Now that I will be in Grade Seven, I promised my parents and myself that I would do better. How do I start the school year right?

Prepare mentally

Clean out your room and your cabinet. Recycle old notebooks and paper. Throw away things you can no longer use. That way you will not turn your place upside down looking for a paper clip.

Place old computer files in their own folder, with a useful label, such as Grade Six Book Reports. That way you can readily use the current workspace for tasks this year, while still having access to old materials that may be useful again.

Shop for school supplies before classes open. Some students have homework due first thing in the morning, only to find out that they have run out of printer ink—at midnight. Have pens, pencils, paper, crayons, stapler, folders, scissors, school gadgets, and printer cartridges ready.

Make homework routine. After classes, have a light snack and a bath, but good students finish assignments before watching Netflix or playing Fortnite.

For a long-term project, such as a term paper or a multimedia presentation, separate tasks into chunks. Spend time one day doing research on the net, then the next creating an outline, and so forth. Expend small efforts each day working on the project, rather than frantically staying up to finish it the night before it’s due.

Do not speed-read or skim through a book or webpage. Read in small parts, reflect on it, and test yourself. If you do not grasp a new concept immediately, read it again carefully and consult your classmates or the teacher if needed.

Do not skip diagrams or charts. These help you understand the text, and they present dense information in an easier way. After going through a diagram, close your eyes and picture the image in your mind to make sure you remember what it conveys.

Make practice tests from your notes. Reading a passage is not enough; you need to test for retention and mastery.

Do all the exercises in your book, even when they’re not required, if you want to achieve mastery.

Prepare emotionally

Get to know your teachers. Note their consultation hours and contact details.

If you do not understand certain concepts, do not give up at once. Ask help from friends, parents, or teachers. If you opt for a tutor, make sure the tutor is available when needed, and can help you grasp the concept rather than spoonfeeding you the answer.

Make sure you can contact the school in case of an emergency, and vice-versa.

Resist the urge to procrastinate. Procrastination may be the single biggest cause of academic failure.

In tests, time is important. Many students get a low score in math, for example, not because they don’t know the topic but because they don’t finish the test on time. At home, time yourself when doing the exercises. Practice is key, and boosts your confidence in actual tests.

Balance time between homework and friends. Use common sense. If you have tests on Monday, do not go drinking with your friends on Sunday night. On the other hand, if you have finished your homework on a Friday afternoon, then you can go on a Zoom party with your friends.

Do extracurricular activities, such as sports or community work. These give you a chance not just to socialize, but also to develop your non-academic talents and reach out to others.

Do not overdo extracurriculars though. If you are not doing well academically, it is best to focus on classroom work rather than running for president in your organization. Sometimes added activities can be a source of stress rather than pleasure.

Pick friends who can bolster you rather than drag you down. With the pressure to fit in, you don’t want to be with a crowd who expects you to party and cheat your way through school. Go with those who can help you learn—not only will they be better group mates in projects, but they will also help you maximize your potential.

Prepare physically

Schedule regular exercise. It makes you alert both in body and mind, and also helps reduce stress.

Eat healthy. Fruits and vegetables top the list, followed by lean meat such as chicken. Carbohydrate-heavy meals can make you sleep, so do not devour that bowl of pasta before an exam. Do not skip breakfast. Reciting history facts on a hungry stomach does not work.

Get enough sleep, at least seven hours, for your mind to function at peak. Turn off gadgets at least an hour before bed, because the blue light emanating from them interferes with the production of melatonin, which induces sleep. I am disturbed by the fact that many of my students report that they are insomniacs and sleep for only four hours a night, and even more disturbed that their parents appear to be oblivious.

To Parents of College Students

This essay is adapted from my talk for the Ateneo Freshman Parents’ Orientation on August 31, 2019.

Parents ask: Our children are already in college. How can we help them make the most of this privilege?

Thank you, parents, for entrusting your children to us. But we cannot do this alone. Our freshmen may look grown-up—they drive their own cars; they voted in the elections; reared on the Net, they know things we barely dreamed of before.

But looks deceive. On the surface, our children may look confident; but underneath, they are often insecure, many are stressed out. Most are filled with anxiety.

Our children are fortunate to have their basic needs met: food, shelter, clothing, and education. But as they journey into adulthood, they need to develop essential skills like focus, discipline, perseverance, gratitude, and especially, resilience.

Be aware of what is happening with your children

Are your children adjusting well? Are they prioritizing academics? The school offers lots of activities, and it is tempting for students to join half a dozen or more.