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    SHAPE (Strategically Helping Another Person Elevate)
    SHAPE (Strategically Helping Another Person Elevate)
    SHAPE (Strategically Helping Another Person Elevate)
    Ebook187 pages2 hours

    SHAPE (Strategically Helping Another Person Elevate)

    By Sheila Downer-McCoy

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    About this ebook

    SHAPE (Strategically Helping Another Person Elevate)

    SHAPE is the ultimate guide to mastering the art of mentoring. Created for mentors and mentees, SHAPE presents powerful, real-life mentoring experiences and offers valuable resources, tips, and best practices to help mentors effectively navigate their mentoring journey. SHAPE answers critical and often-overlooked questions about how to be an effective mentor.
    By applying the lessons learned in this guide, mentors will gain the tools to provide strategic guidance and direction, helping their mentees execute their goals more efficiently and live their best lives.

    SHAPE instructs mentors on how to develop and nurture a deeper, more trusting relationship with their mentees. Mentors are charged with helping others succeed, and SHAPE demonstrates how to ensure success as a natural part of this journey.
    SHAPE offers self-discovery, self-empowerment and personal fulfillment to both mentors and mentees.
    Are you ready to transform lives? Let's get into SHAPE!

    Knowledge is power. Sharing that knowledge with others is power redefined.

    Do you have what it takes to SHAPE the life of someone else? Mentoring is more than showing up, having a conversation, and musing over your achievements. A true mentor dedicates their time, resources, and unique lens with their mentee, keeping one goal in mind: to guide his or her mentee to unleash the greatness within.

    SHAPE measures success using many different metrics. Perhaps none is more significant than sharing a roadmap paired with the strength and courage to confidently express both what one knows and what one may not know. Strategically Helping Another Person Elevate gets to the heart of mentoring and the necessary skills to be a great mentor. The stories provided herein reveal the hits and misses that successful leaders face in their mentoring journey. These highly insightful examples powerfully depict the costs and rewards of being a great mentor.

    Seasoned and novice mentors alike will quickly discover new ways to connect and productively engage with their mentees. Use this timely guide to SHAPE your mentee into a great leader rather than just another good follower. We know mentors everywhere will enjoy getting into SHAPE, just as we have!

    How will you Strategically Help Another Person Elevate?

    Deanese Williams-Harris, Chicago
    Tribune Crime and Justice reporter.

    SHAPE is a must-read for every mentor, mentee, or company seeking to enhance, motivate, and drive professional and personal development in others.

    Downer-McCoy shares personal experiences to highlight how mentoring helped shape her understanding of the world and cemented her place in it. Her work includes thoughtful exercises to help the reader pinpoint a mentee's needs, as well as question themselves while providing an internal method of checks and balances to ensure the greatest outcome for all involved. The stories will motivate, inspire, and encourage the reader to make real changes.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherBookBaby
    Release dateJan 4, 2021
    ISBN9780970290977
    SHAPE (Strategically Helping Another Person Elevate)

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      Book preview

      SHAPE (Strategically Helping Another Person Elevate) - Sheila Downer-McCoy

      No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in, or introduced into a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior permission of the publisher.

      This book is nonfiction. However, a few identifying characteristics have been changed to maintain the privacy of some individuals. The mention of specific companies, organizations, or authorities in this book does not imply endorsement by the authors or publisher, nor does mention of specific companies, organizations, or authorities imply that they endorse this book, its authors, or the publisher.

      © Copyright 2021 by SHAPE Advisers

      All rights reserved.

      Published in the United States

      Requests for permission should be directed to: contactus@shapeadvisers.com or mailed to:

      Shape Advisers LLC

      Attn: Permissions

      9801 Apollo Dr, Suite 7145

      Upper Marlboro, MD 20774 

      Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

      Names: Sheila Downer-McCoy

      Title: SHAPE: Strategically Helping Another Person Elevate

      Cover Designer: Douglas Christopher

      Developmental Editor: Isabel Esteviz

      Editor: Julia Denton of ServiceScape

      Identifiers: ISBN: 978-0-9702909-5-3 (soft cover) | ISBN: 978-0-9702909-6-0 (hard cover) | ISBN: 978-0-9702909-7-7 (eBook)

      Dedication

      This book is dedicated to past, present, and future mentors who inspire and lead others to unleash greatness within. We appreciate the time, support, and effort you pour into strategically helping another person elevate.

      Acknowledgment

      I would like to thank my family, friends, and mentors for their unwavering support in everything I seek to achieve. To my husband, my rock, and my foundation, Sam McCoy, thank you for sharing your love, support, and encouragement. Thank you to my mom, Beatrice Taylor, for sharing your love of reading. You may be gone, but never forgotten. To my babies, my twin daughters, BreAnna and Brittany, thank you for the fire you ignite in me that drives my passion to new heights. Last but never least, I’m thankful to God for helping me to find my voice.

      Special Acknowledgement

      This book is dedicated to the people who brought the vision of SHAPE to fruition. I extend a special thank you to the contributing writers; Arlene Mabrey, Gabrielle A. Baker, and Pamela Harris, your input is invaluable. I know that your contributions will inspire others. 

      Isabel Esteviz, my developmental editor, thank you for transforming the book and finding the true heart of SHAPE! 

      To Barbara Hairston, Lindsay Harris, Dr. Tchicaya Robertson, and Latienda Williams, I’m grateful that you shared your thoughts to make SHAPE a success.

      Finally, I wish to thank Dr. Willa Estell, Jessica Hartley, Caitlin Harper, Janel Monroe, Denise Ransom, Khalid Scott, Annette Shuford, and Sharon Taylor for sharing your journey in Chapter Ten. Your story will inevitably help to SHAPE the lives of others. 

      Table of Contents

      Foreword

      Share Your Past; SHAPE the Future

      Introduction

      SHAPE Matters

      Chapter One

      Assessing Your SHAPE

      Chapter Two

      Mentees Are Not One Size Fits All

      Chapter Three

      Mentees Want to Redefine Their SHAPE (Re-imagine, Re-invent, Re-focus)

      Chapter Four

      Embracing the L (It’s a Lesson, Not a Loss)

      Chapter Five

      In No Way, SHAPE, or Form - Should You Ever Give Up (Silencing the Inner Critic)

      Chapter Six

      Training Future Leaders (Be a Leader, Not a Boss)

      Chapter Seven

      Tip Top SHAPE (The Importance of Physical and Mental Well-Being)

      Chapter Eight

      Navigating Difficult Times

      Chapter Nine

      Dissolving the Mentor Relationship

      Chapter Ten

      Refuse to Live Beneath Your Ability

      Passion

      Your Undeveloped Land!

      About the Author

      Foreword

      Share Your Past; SHAPE the Future

      Growing up in one of the most notorious housing projects on the near north side of Chicago (Cabrini Green), I was viewed by most people as destined to live a life of poverty, crime, and drug use. Eventually, I’d be labeled as a drain on society because of my status as an absentee father with multiple children from different women (none of whom I would call my wife). This is the picture that is often portrayed of those with similar backgrounds as mine. However, my life took a drastically different turn. How? Well, among many reasons, these changes came due to the presence of mentors in my life.

      Throughout my journey, some people in my life (regardless of gender, race, religion, ethnicity, or socio-economic background) looked beyond the stereotypical picture already painted for me by those ready to cast aside individuals from disadvantaged environments. These individuals saw something in me that stirred them to guide me, direct me, coach me – care for me! They knew my life wasn’t worthless and believed that, no matter my circumstances, I could overcome them with love, support, exposure, and mentoring.

      I am the beneficiary of the selfless, thoughtful, and intentional acts of heroes who refused to let me live a defeated life because of my impoverished background. These heroic mentors motivated me to strive for a higher calling. Today, I can humbly say that I have become something very different than what my past environment would have predicted. My mentors taught me how to live right, set and measure goals, apply a proper work ethic, appreciate the value of self-discipline, and understand what it takes to be successful and navigate the obstacles awaiting me along my journey. This left an indelible mark on me, shaping me to be the person that I am today.

      Who among us has not benefited from someone’s guidance at a significant point in their life? More than likely, that direction came at a time when you were struggling with a critical decision, such as what to do with your life. Without opportune guidance, your life probably would have been very different than it is now. I know mine would be if not for mentors who cultivated a constructive perspective on life by exposing me to environments different from what I saw growing up in the inner-city ghetto.

      Mentoring was vital to my life’s journey. As a former C-Level Executive for several companies and a current Managing Director in one of the largest global consulting firms in the world, I have been blessed beyond measure due to caring advocates who helped me get my bearings so that I could move forward productively with meaning, purpose, and clear direction. My life’s trajectory changed because of all of the wonderful mentors in my life.

      I truly believe that offering assistance to someone who lacks purpose and direction is one of the greatest things we can do for one another.

      We all need guidance at some point and should willingly offer it to others as freely as it has been given to us. I believe the extent of one’s success in life is measured by the number of lives touched. Mentoring is an enormously effective way to touch countless lives.

      What I like most about this book is its strategic approach to becoming an influential mentor. This practical guide will leave little thought to what it takes to be a true leader committed to the personal development of others. I hope you enjoy the read and then find someone for whom you can pour your life’s lessons into helping them along their pathway.

      All my best!

      Michael D. Jones, MBA

      Managing Director

      Midwest Healthcare Provider Portfolio Leader

      Accenture

      The delicate balance of mentoring someone is not creating them in your own image but giving them the opportunity to create themselves.

      -Steven Spielberg

      Introduction

      SHAPE Matters

      I am continually amazed at how one person can change the trajectory of your life with a few simple words. I have written several books on a myriad of topics, yet among all of them, I am the most passionate about, connected to, and excited to share SHAPE. There is simply no greater act than taking what you know and sharing that knowledge with someone else. In its purest form, mentoring is an art. If you truly want to have a lasting impact on someone, this guide will put you in the best position to do so, especially as a mentor. The knowledge and wisdom gained over time has limited capacity to impact others if you are unable to articulate it to another.

      Statistically speaking (for my left-brained readers), mentoring is a simple yet highly effective way to motivate and engage individuals among both career-level and junior mentees:

      71% of Fortune 500 companies have mentoring programs

      89% of people who have been mentored will also go on to mentor others

      25% of employees who enrolled in a mentoring program had a salary-grade change, compared to only 5% of workers who did not participate

      Mentees are promoted 5 times more often than those without mentors

      Mentors themselves are 6 times more likely to be promoted

      Mentoring programs have boosted minority representation at the management level from 9% to 24%

      From a numerical perspective, these are just a few reasons mentoring is so critical to businesses and schools, large or small. Mentoring makes a difference! Having the right mentors in place is the key to providing individuals with opportunities to strategically help another person elevate to heights unseen!

      In the early 1990s, I dreamed of starting a graphic design business to share my love of visual storytelling with the world. Unfortunately, I was too impressionable and highly intimidated by the idea of doing it alone. I was afraid to fail. Instead of following my dreams, I took what I thought was a safer route and partnered with friends to start a residential and commercial cleaning business called Crystal Clear Cleaning Services.

      My coworkers and I were ambitious but untrained, and we had very little industry experience. Yet somehow, our business grew. Early wins afforded us a small office space and the ability to hire a small staff. Within a few years, we encountered losses that forced us to grow up quickly and learn some hard lessons.

      We went through some rough patches. I remember once having to drive more than 45 minutes in the middle of the night to a customer’s house because one of our employees had left toothpaste on the sink. Yes – I spent 90 minutes in total travel time to wipe off toothpaste! In an even more costly incident, we had to replace a customer’s floors after chemicals discolored the tile. Pair mishaps such as these with the long hours and dwindling profits, and I was quickly burning out from this venture that was supposed to be the safe choice. Worst of all? I was left alone to manage the chaos. I felt as if I had no one to turn to for guidance, not even my partners.

      Soon, it became crystal clear that I was pouring my heart and energy into a business I never even wanted. Looking back, I can see my mistake: I allowed others to sell me their dream instead of believing in my own. I also recognize that my decision to join the cleaning business industry was ill informed, because I pursued this venture based on the empty promises of my friends and did not think it through. We had never talked about the viability or sustainability of the business. More importantly, no part of this venture was driven by passion.

      Ultimately, my business partners became discouraged, disengaged, and disillusioned with the business. This brings me to the first of many lessons

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