Frank Kermit - I'm A Man, That's My Job (2007)

I'M A MAN, That's My Job:
The Philosophy of A Seducer An Inner Game Workbook
By Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit Frank B Kermit 2007
Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.FRANKTALKS.com
This book is copyright protected. Whenever possible, the original authors and sources have been credited. In the event a reader acquires this book illegally, and wishes to offer a reasonable donation to say thanks for the information; you may make a paypal payment through my website at www.franktalks.com.
Donations keep endeavors like this book and others like it coming. They also go towards supporting my effort to make the world a better place through education people to help them lead more interesting and fulfilling lives. Those found blatantly infringing on the copyright of this book without regard to the remedies specified here in; will be persecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
Copyright 2007 by Frank, Because I Have to Be, Kermit
All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise without written permission from Frank, Because I Have to Be, Kermit. Website: www.franktaIks.com ISBN 978-0-9783694-5-3 Now that we got that out of the way....Onward!
Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.franktaIks.com
Who Should Read This Book? Abandon all notions of your former unhappy self. Your life is about to change, just like mind did years ago. This book is for a seducer-in-training that wants to work on his Inner Game, and develop his own personalized seduction philosophy. It is an account of the beliefs I have, and the process of self-discovery that I myself went through. If you have read my other books, you know that I have been very successful at turning my life with women around. Now I am going to share all my secrets to inner game, and the development of my philosophies with you. This is Inner Game for beginners. If you are a seduction Inner-Game junkie, and you are ready to move to the next level, leaving your former self behind, and are ready to adopt a whole new lifestyle, this book is for you. If you have reached rock bottom, or a place of no return, or if you simply want an inner game workbook that is not just spitting theory, but that actually guides you, step by step, to your newer and better self, then this book is definitely for you. If you have ever heard any of the following phrases: "It's not that I want to hurt your feelings, I just think we'd be better as friends", "But you're such a nice guy", "I have a boyfriend", "I have husband", "Let's be friends first, and then we can see", "Let's wait, and let it happen naturally", "I am just not attracted to you"...etc...then this book is for you. If you were the guy that became "friends first" with a girl in the HOPE that she would eventually like you enough to date you, but you only ended up listening to her problems where she complained to you on the phone at 3 am about the jerks that she was currently fucking, then this book is for you.
4 If you are a nice guy, an adult male virgin, a single guy that cannot connect with a woman, or a divorced guy that wants one more time to make it happen right, then this book was written for you. If you grew up taught to be a self-hating male, really putting women up on a pedestal, and you have come to the realization that this is not working for you after all, then this book was written for you. If you are such a nice loser guy, and you are ready to change but do not know where to start, what to do next, or want to know where this new path can take you, then this book is for you. If you come from a place of real pain when it comes to women, and you want to move into a place on the other side of the canyon of pain, where you can be safe and in control of your destiny, then this book is for you. If you are a divorced man and you are contemplating suicide or going through a depression, then this book is for you. Also, please get counseling. I hope this book proves to you that have way too much to live for. Love is not your enemy.... but suicide is. Do not be a traitor. If you are a woman and want the man in your life to change from a little boy, into a man, because the survival of your relationship depends on it, and you plan to buy this for him as a gift, then this book is for you. If you do not want to read bullshit theory, and want beliefs from a guy that actually uses what he teaches AND provides you with REAL LIFE EXAMPLES from his own personal experiences, then this book has been written for you. WELCOME TO YOUR NEW LEVEL OF EXISTENCE. -Frank B. (Because-l-Have-to-Be) Kermit
5 Introduction by Marvi Arlik I met Frank B. Kermit through a friend of mine a few years ago. Little did I know at the time that he would change my life. Going back a few years, I was going through a tough time. I had not reached the success I wanted for myself in my personal life. I had mentors who I had learned a lot from and had read a lot of self-help material. Still, I was searching for answers. My friend suggested I come with him to talk to Frank at his home one Saturday afternoon. Within a half an hour or so of chatting he could see I was stuck in my own thoughts, could not express myself emotionally and had no clue how to make a women feel. He said something to me that would come to change my life: "If you continue on your current path, a woman will choose you to marry for financial security, cheat on you and eventually leave you." It did not sink in at the time but I came to realize he was right, and I became more determined than ever to change. I would later learn Frank is rarely wrong about relationships between men and women. Every piece of advice he has given me has produced results, whereas anytime I didn't listen to him, I always ended up regretting it. He then took the time over the following few months to help me on my path of self-improvement. By studying material he suggested and some he had developed himself, and him encouraging me to apply them to real life situations, I learned how to make a woman feel and what it meant to act like a man. Through his help I started to change both internally and externally, though I am still learning. Fortunately, Frank is still teaching. Frank recognized a talent I had in helping men make a first impression through personal style and
6 clothing. He encouraged me to get into image consulting and brought me down a career path I never thought possible. If you are familiar with Frank and his material then you know the depth of his knowledge and his ability to personally relate it to his students through his seminars or books. This book will naturally expand on what you have already learned. If you have not read his books and are learning from Frank for the first time, be prepared to have your views on relationships shattered. While this book can be a great starting point for Frank's philosophies, you'll want to check out his previous books as well, as they nicely compliment the knowledge in this book. I remember when Frank first discussed the idea of writing a book. We were sitting around with another friend having a drink. Frank mentioned he had so much to say that his book was going to be 500 Pages! That's where he decided to break it up into a series of books. That way he would be able to go into different topics in more detail. First would be his own story called From Loser to Seducer. Next would be his concepts on relationships between men and women called Everything Out of Her Mouth is a Test. Third is what you are about to read on his killer inner game material. This book is a logical progression from his first two books, and an essential component of Frank's method of success with women. Wait till you see what's next. Marvi Arlik Image Consultant http://www.marviarlik.com
Dedication Page
This book is dedicated to:
Jerry Jacobs
I met Jerry Jacobs while in university. He was an elderly man who spent his time taking random courses, and instituted various projects to help young ambitious students showcase their works. He met with incredible resistance to what he desired to accomplish, and yet he persevered, and managed to make a dent in the administration. He was supportive in my effects to make my mark in an industry that today, is still one of the hardest to break into. He understood what I was striving for, and was there when I called on him to help out in whatever way he could. This book is dedicated to his ability to simply do, what he said he was going to do. Thanks Jerry.
And may I say thank you to...Maverick In Montreal, Patrick Lee, Heather, David Dekel, Gardengal, Steve Celeste, Jade, Treun, The Doc, My Montreal brothers, my Toronto brothers, my editor, and the people that bought copies of my first two books. To my immediate family by blood and marriage. To my extended family of seducers all around the world whom I have helped, and who continue to challenge me. To my many mentors, clients, colleagues, and bros for your encouragement of this book. To all the girls I loved before, still love, and am going to love in the future. To all those that opposed me to make my life difficult Ha-ha you suck.
9 Table of Contents
Title Page Legal Paqe Who should read this book? Introduction bv Marvi Arlik Dedication paqe Acknowledgements Table of Contents
1 2 3 5 7 8 9
Introduction Frank Introduction What do vou want? Why did I write this book? Creative Avoidance It's All Inner Game...NOT FBK Definition of Inner Game Inner Game is Not Enouqh Guvs that this book will NOT be able to Help Men that are Gay Men that are Emotionally Weak Men who are very damaged
16 16 18 20 20 21 24 24 26 28 29 31
Chapter 1 - T h e 10 Base Philosophies of Life 33 Introduction 1- Philosophy of Violence How does this relate to being a man 2- Philosophy of Truth in Theories How does this relate to being a man 3- Philosophy of the Exception How does this relate to being a man 4- Philosophy of Existence of both the a Sub-Conscious Mind and a Conscious Mind Inner Clearance Question Ultimate Brain Question How does this relate to being a man Chart of Differences between the Minds 5- Philosophy of Vibrations Magic 34 35 37 38 38 40 41 42 43 43 43 45 47
10
How does this relate to being a man 6Philosophy of Property Rig hts How does this relate to being a man 7-Philosophy of Emotional Needs The Mother-Lover Theory The Ally-Enemy Theory How does this relate to being a man 8- Philosophy of The Meaning of Life Life's purpose and inner turmoil Please Remember This Dear Student How does this relate to being a man Meaning-of-Life Exercises: 1-Write Your Own Eulogy 2Fill Out Your Tombstone Epitaph 3-Take a Walk in a Cemetery 4 - W h a t Your Friends Think About You 5-Contemplate the movie of your life Potential Titles List Potential Soundtracks List 6-Said About You At Your Funeral 7-To Be Remembered For 8-Things That Will Build Your Legacy 9-Most Influential Books and Songs Books and Authors List Songs and Artists List 10-People You Most Admire And W h y 11-Base Life Principle 12-How The World Should Change 13-To Make A Full Time Living From 14-Actions You Are Taking 9- Philosophy of Sometimes Life Sucks How does this relate to being a man 10- Philosophy of We were born to have sex Spiritual Quest Spiritual Quests & Creative Avoidance What Do I Believe? Sex Is HEALING Root Of All Evil Watch The Birdie How does this relate to being a man 49 50 51 52 52 54 57 58 61 63 64 65 68 67 67 68 68 68 69 70 71 72 72 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 80 81 82 82 83 84 84 84 86
Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com
11 Chapter 2 - T h e 10 Rules of Relationships Introduction How does this relate to being a man 1- Rule of There is always a leader Leadership: It's A Lonely Life How does this relate to being a man 2- Rule of Commitment To Commitment How does this relate to being a man 3- Rule of Men And Women are Different You're a Man, That's Your Job 87 88 89 90 91 94 95 96 97 98
Love
Drama Biological Reproduction Gender Realities Beliefs About Women Beliefs About Women Writing Exercise Beliefs About Men Beliefs About Men Writing Exercise What is an Alpha Male? Writing Exercise The Man vs. Woman Chart Writing Exercise The Man vs. Woman Starter Chart 4- Rule of Ignore Intellectual Constructs What is An Intellectual Construct Every Chapter is Egual to Another Chapter We Are All Born Egual - Everyone Is Capable Happily Ever After In Relationships: Everything Has to Be Fair and Egual Sexuality Can Be Denied It's All Common Sense Perfect Woman Perfect Man Feminism As An Intellectual Construct The Sadness of Women in Their Late 30s and 40s Intellectual Constructs and Assumptions How does this relate to being a man 5- Rule of How she treats you Beliefs of a High Value Male How Much Money She Has Is Meaningless What Your Friends and Family Think About Her Is Meaningless How Good She Fucks Is Meaningless
98
100 100 101 103 104 109 110 116 117 118 119 119 119 120 121 121 121 122 123 123 124 125 126 127 128 128 128 129 130
12
What She Looks Like Is Meaningless How does this relate to being a man 6- Rule of Better to be Respect Than Liked 7- Rule of Pick and Choose Your Fights 1-Never Fighter 2-lmportant Fighter 3-Alwavs Fighter 8- Rule of Set the Boundaries Very Early Deal Breakers Writing Exercise 1-Reward and Punish 2-Qualify Her 3-The Sooner the Sex 9- Rule of Beware Your Mentors 1-Women Men and Women Are NOT Real Friends Guvs W h o Are Afraid Of Competition 2-People W h o Do Not Get Laid 3-Relationship Academics 4-Naturals 5-Popular Media Why People Think TV and Movies Are A Good Thing 6-Parents 1-Mothers 2-Fathers 10- Rule of Nobody's Got It Figured Out Three Suggestions 130 132 133 134 136 136 136 137 139 140 140 141 143 145 147 148 148 150 151 153 154 155 156 156 157 158
Chapter 3 Inner Game Lists of Self Awareness Introduction How does this relate to being a man List Number 1-What makes you the prize List Number 2-50 Things you Love and Hate List Number 3-Favorite Childhood Memories List Number 4-Peak Life Experiences List Number 5-Times You Were Emasculated By Women List Number 6-lntriguing People You Have Encountered List Number 7-Characters/Celebritles
159 160 160 162 169 171 173 175 177
13 You Most Resemble List Number 8-Best Imitations Symbols and Symbology List Number 9-Symbols Thrust Upon You List Number 10-Svmbols You Chose List Number 11-Symbols You Will Create List Number 12-Movies That Inspired You List Number 13-People That Have Blocked You List Number 14-People That Encouraged You List Number 15-Actions Not Meeting Women List Number 16-Actions To Meet Women List Number 17-Emotions You Want Her To Experience Super Writing Exercise: The Punishing Myself Exercise List Number 18-A High Value Man Deserves List Number 19-A High Value Woman Deserves List Number 20-Why Women NEED Men List Number 21-Things A Man Must Improve On List Number 22-Things You Should NEVER Say List Number 23-Vulnerabilities to be frames as Strengths List Number 24-Thinqs You MUST tell a woman List Number 25-You Best Pick Up Lines How To Create Personalized Openers List Number 26-Beliefs about Men List Number 27-Beliefs about Women List Number 28-Beleifs men-women dynamics List Number 29-Create Personalized Openers List Number 30-Best Responses to "I Have A Boyfriend" List Number 31-Different Categories of Women List Number 32-Criteria for an Unfuckable Girl List Number 33-Criteria for One-Night-Stand Girl List Number 34-Criteria for Regular Fuck Buddy List Number 35-Criteria for a List List List List List Non-Exclusive Harem Girlfriend Number 36-Criteria for a Primary Girlfriend Number 37-Criteria for a Wife Number 38-Your Top Ten Seduction Goals Number 39-Your T O P Ten Social Circles Number 40-Criteria for Rating Women 179 181 183 184 185 186 188 189 189 190 190 191 192 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 206 206 206 207 208 209 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223
14
Chapter 4 - 1 0 Stages o f Development Introduction The Starting Stages I.The Dead-man 2.The Loser 3.The Average Guy The In-Training Stages 4.The Beqinner Seducer-in-training 5.The Mid-Ranqe Seducer-in-training 6.The Learned Seducer-in-training The Master/ Stages 7.The Redeemed - Moment of Redemption 8.The Seducer 9.The Master Seducer The Final Stag 10The Natural Learned Natural Lived Natural The Difference Between Instincts and Intuition 224 ??ft ??fi ??fl 230 232 234 237 240 241 244 247 247 247 248
Chapter 5 - Deconstructing The Components of Game and
Creation Of A Seduction Persona

Introdu ction: It's All Reprogramminq Your Instincts Forget Beinq Yourself: Be Happy Instead The Five Main Inner Game Issues The 5 Components of the Game 1. Pre-Game Status and Value Hiqh Value Male Status A Low Status Male A High Status Male Perceived Status Calibration 2. Head-Game Frank B Kermit Scale of Rating Women 3. High Game 4. End Game 5. Post Game
253
254 257 257 258 258 259 259 259 259 259 260 262 263 265 266 266
15
The Persons Concept The Name of Your Seduction Persona The Image of Your Seduction Persona How the Seduction Persona Concept WORKS Building A Seduction Persona Chart Sample Seduction Persona Chart Tracking Your Persona & Development Chart Seduction Persona Starter Chart Writing Exercise You Know You Have Inner Game When... Other Works From Frank B Kermit Discount Page 268 268 270 271 271 272 273 274 276 277 278
16
Frank Introduction Hello Seducer-in-training. You are a man, this is your job... I personally guarantee you that this material you are going to study has worked for me. I hope it will work for you too. I am not a psychologist, doctorate on the subject, or some magic powered magician. I am just a guy that pushed myself to make some changes in one area of his life, and got some pretty neat insights and experiences. I hope it will inspire the Kermit in you. A few years ago, a question was asked of me about why I was on a personal mission to learn about finding myself. My own answer at the time was to eliminate pain, and to have more choice. Since then, I have been pondering this question. You know, learning about who I was, who I REALLY was, forced me to confront almost all of my demons and all of my hierocracies. It forced me to learn more about myself and life in general, which was more than I really thought I could handle. The result? I got back the one woman that I had thought was forever lost to me. Once I did get her back, I learned that she and I were not meant to be together after all, but I no longer blamed myself for our incompatibility. Author's note: For more on the above story, Check out my first book entitled: From Loser to Seducer: The Story of Frank B Kermit Learning about MYSELF and what it meant to be a man, gave me more than just the elimination of that pain; it gave me more choice about the women I wanted to date. I did not have to settle for the woman that I was lucky enough to have like me. I learned how to communicate with women, so that I could truly connect to the women that I so desired to share my life with. Knowing what I know now, how a woman treats me is more important than how I feel about he, or what Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com
17
she looks like. That is change. That is power. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. So basically, I am living in a world of choice (not a natural at it yet, but getting there)...and yet that also doesn't seem enough... Then I thought about it and decided that maybe it's the numbers thing...you know, fuck as many women as possible: 50? 100? 250? Well I have talked to guys that have done it (you would be surprised) Again, those guys tell me it feels pretty good, but I don't think that it explains enough why they did it. In many cases, it was just something that happened to them, not something they set out to do. Just like when things in my life were going good, I would just happen to meet many women. For example, I had girlfriends in college, which is not what I had planned; it was just something that happened when all I had been looking for was "the one".
Then finally, I had a thought. What if the relationships (all forms, sex, love, etc.) we have with women are NOT the goals, but are the means to a goal? What if the greater goal is Self-Discovery? I have said it many times when learning about yourself. What if dating women, this whole thing, is really just about figuring out who you really are, and using the pleasurable and the not so pleasurable elements of relationships (in all their forms) with women is they way we can get there? I can say that for myself, my success is directly related to knowing who I am. In contrast, my failures are directly related to not yet knowing all of myself. If this were the case...how would that change the way men view relationships? I am getting a little ahead of myself here, but I am writing this based on my experience. If you are going to tell me that not all seducers-in-training will experience the things I have gone through or will have to go through to have the same process I did, you are right. I tell them what I tell them because I wish someone would have told me this when I first started. It would have been an easier first couple of years for me. So let's get to it you seducer-in-training.
18
My question to you is, "What do y o u w a n t ? " Not an easy question. Do you want a wife, a series of girlfriends, multiple relationships at the same time, or one really special relationship? Or do you want to be able to go into a club and pick up the hottie in the lacey tight dress? Maybe you want to be able to approach anybody and start a conversation, or work on your fashion, your communication skills, be more serious, be less serious, or have lots of one-nightstands. Maybe your goal is to convince the girl working in cubicle B that you've been in love with for 4 years that the two of you should go out. There is no "right" answer...there can only be "your right answer". There are writing exercises in this book that will teach you how to do all of the above. The easiest way to figure out what you should be putting your time into (as time is your most limited resource) is to ask yourself, What do you Want? Then, study the material and do the writing exercises that are related to getting you your particular goals. If you do not know who you are, I suggest the best way to learn about yourself, is to talk with as many other men that have already found themselves, (and find out exactly what they do, and where their strengths and weaknesses are) as possible. See where you are similar, and where you are different. If you meet a man who is getting exactly what you want, then mirror him in his behavior. This is a place to start, but keep in mind that each man is different. Each one of us has skills in different areas, different philosophies in life, and what works for one guy will cause another to crash and burn. Some men may be getting the results and relationships you think you want, but you may not be willing to make the sacrifices they make in order to get the same result At that point, either change your willingness to sacrifice, find another path to the same destination, or re-evaluate why you think you want such a result. You might be surprised by what you learn when you TAKE ACTION.
19
Know yourself, and you can then know what will work for you. Welcome to your new life. You are no longer the man you were. From the time you entered into this learning, you are now a new seducer-in-training. Be proud of that badge you wear. It is your honor. Now, you must hold yourself up to a higher standard than most of the men out there, but you are also now entitled to the rewards that go with it. You're A Man, That's Your Job
20 Why Did I Write THIS book? I entitled this book: I'M A Man. That's Mv Job I chose this title, as it had recently become a motto that I teach men, about accepting their gender role. I work to inspire and educate men about taking pride in who they are, and in their sexuality. I actually was not going to write a book about inner game. I think the idea of completely solving all your inner game problems, as a cure all for your seduction concerns is becoming an excuse of those that suffer from... CREATIVE AVOIDANCE. "Creative Avoidance": is when a man creates further obstacles for himself in such a way that he puts his development into a complete slow down. Or he avoids the entire idea of meeting and seducing women by focusing on every other aspect of his life, EXCEPT that one.
Let me tell you something.... I did that for a huge period of my life, and earned a wall full of degrees, awards, etc. It does not mean a thing if you are not getting laid. I have met many men that teach Inner Game, which give workshops, put out a DVD, and so on. Here is what I can tell you. A guy, who has to snub or belittle other people without just cause, does NOT have his Inner Game together. A guy that needs alcohol and other narcotics in order to get into state does NOT have his Inner Game together.
21
A guy that can not give competent advice, but resorts to the intimidation tactics of a school yard bully to shame newbies into silent requiem, does NOT have his Inner Game together. In most cases, these types of men mentioned above do not get laid, nearly as much as they let people think. In many cases, the above have no actual game at all, and they smother seducers-in-training, as they would not know the difference between a legit real deal seducer, and one that is passing by using intimidation. That is why I wrote this particular book. If I can offer actually work methods, and a perspective on inner game that is not about intimidation, then I might save some seducer-in-training out there the time, money and efforts that are wasted on false teachers.
It's All Inner Game...NOT Man, I am going to piss off so many people with this next one. "It's All Inner Game". I have often heard this remark by guys that are into self-help and using it to seduce women. It is a be-all statement, which at times really means nothing. In my opinion it is one of those allencompassing answers, which actually does not address any specific issue at all. Telling a guy that his inability to connect to and have sex with women is "All Inner Game..." is just like telling an average frustrated sales person that all they need to do to make more sales, is to "Just find the customer's Hot Button!!!" Well DUH!?! I guess it is just that simple then. So all the failed sales people in the world, and all the guys that cannot get laid to save their lives are just being too stupid to understand the most basic simple concepts. Right. It is just that easy huh? If that was true, then I would not have clients contacting me for books and seminars, because they would already
22 know what to do and would be doing it right now. The fact that you are reading this book right now proves that it is not so simple. "Inner game" at first, was used to define all of a persons inner belief system about sex, love and relationships between men and women. I have found that it has also recently taken on a persons complete thought process, as far as what they associate with other aspects in their life as well as technical knowledge basis about specific items. So pretty much, when some guy says, itis all inner game, when he is trying to counsel a male client looking to learn about getting better with women, that guy is right. "Inner Game" now means "everything". When a guy states that "everything" has to do with getting better with meeting and bedding women, he of course is right HOWEVER, that is not because he is actually brilliant, it is because the language and grammar being used is effective in encompassing "everything". So, no matter what the clients challenge is, it HAS TO BE included in "everything". Not very helpful in actually getting results, but fabulous marketing. Therefore, by definition it must be. "Everything" is the category, and whatever your problem is, is a sub category of "everything." In the years I have spent studying relationships to see what works and what does not, I have identified that many men who are hooking up with women, are not the smartest, handsomest, richest, or the guys that have "all their shit" together. Many of them have faults, addictions, aptitudes, and so on. Some have the ability to naturally seduce women, some have had to learn it, and some just do not get it Despite all of this, these guys all get laid at some point over the course of their lives. They may not get laid everyday, but they do get laid sometimes. The secret is out: Even average guys get laid. So, if only true (meaning born as) Alpha males were the only ones getting laid out there, only a fraction of the men actually alive (less than 20%) would be
23 getting laid. The (in my estimation over 80%) of the male humans out there would be totally alone. But, although the Alphas are getting lots of sex and offers of companionship, they cannot have every single woman alive. Thus, even some of those "Betas" out there still manage to get laid, and lots of them get married and do have their own kids. This is why I think that the whole "Inner Game" movement is incomplete. Inner game is definitely important. However, a guy with his Inner Game together does not necessarily get laid, and a guy that does NOT have ALL his Inner Game together, can still get laid pending the right combination of circumstances. Those other qualities of his Inner Game can make up for the mistakes he makes in the seduction process. Getting this "Inner Game" part under control means a man will attract the kinds of women that would already be attracted to him...but it does not necessarily attract the w o m e n that the man really wants in the first place. If he settles for the best that he can get, then he has women due to Inner Game. If his standards are too high (not his lack of Inner Game, but his lack of skills with women,) he ends up alone. That is the secret to getting your Inner Game together, but not learning and understanding the realms of seduction and relationships. With Inner Game only, she chooses him at his best, but he settles for her at her best. Yeah yeah, I know..."but isn't learning about attraction and relationships PART of Inner Game?" Sure if you want it to be. EXCEPT, That a guy can learn all about getting laid, and actually get laid, but the rest of his life is a shambles. A guy that has got his life figured out, except in matters of sex and love, but has everything else under control, may not be able to get laid if his life depends on it, unless he
24 simply accepts the girls that are already into him. He did not choose her, she chose him. That is why I separate them the way I do. It allows me to better help the men that attend my seminars.
The Frank B Kermit Definition of INNER GAME In my book, "Everything Out of Her Mouth is a Test', I used the term "Inner Game", to refer specifically to the ability of a man to act on his beliefs to survive and function in maintaining his life. Education, school, work, finances, debts, deciding who he is, and what he wants to do in life, etc...in my philosophy, inner game has little to do with the topic of seducing women. In this book, when I use the term, "Inner Game", I will actually be referring to the opposite of my last book. In this one, "Inner Game" will mean: A Man's Philosophy of what it means to be in the gender role of a male, in the seduction of females and his ability to take actions on his beliefs. My book will not discuss things like how to get your inner game together to become rich, healthier, or to build up other areas of your life. I am not an expert in those areas, and it is not my place to be teaching that...at least not yet. Not until I have learned them for myself, and have legitimately used my own learning to change my life FIRST. When I discuss Inner Game issues, I will only be discussing those issues that are connected to both Inner Game and the seduction of women.
Inner Game is Not Enough Inner Game is not enough. It is only one piece of a man's development. He still needs to learn to attract and seduce a woman. In my philosophy, he still
25 needs to address her emotional needs. For a man to address a woman's emotional needs, he does not need 100% of his Inner Game together, but if he gets a good part of it done (which is what my book here is designed to do), THEN, seduction will be a much easier part of his life. You see, once a man gets his Inner Game together,
he...
Will be able to attract w o m e n to h i m BUT, he will only attract w o m e n that will choose h i m , NOT the w o m e n that he w o u l d choose to attract. He w i l l end up settling for w h o he can get (or buy), but not w h o he would c h o o s e to be w i t h if he c o u l d . That is why there are a lot of doctors, lawyers, and "got-it-together" people that are either still single, OR in lousy primary relationships that cause them to need to find fulfillment outside of the relationship. In the years that I have been involved in all of this, I have met many very good-looking men, very rich men, and/or very cool men.... BUT I was getting laid more before my development, than they are right now. These guys are cool, really funny, really outgoing guys, but they have no idea how to handle girls. They can get women to laugh at will, tell a great story, just have a great time in general, but just can't get the girl to feel attraction for them.
26 Guys That This Book Will NOT Be Able To Help I want you to know that what you are about to read is not meant in any harsh or hurtful way. I am being as compassionate as I can with what I am about to write. Do you want to get laid? Yes or no. Do you want to get laid? If you cannot answer this directly, then maybe you should not be here. In order for any of this to be worth it, in order to stick to these life-changing processes, in order to go through the work (and there is plenty of work)...you need to know exactly what you want. Do you actually want to get laid? Dudes, some of you are where you are, not because you have a problem with women, but because you actually have A PROBLEM W I T H SEX. If your problem is with SEX, then this is your issue, and your issue alone, and it has nothing to do with the women you
date.
It still surprises me that when a man has a problem with sex, how much he will displace that problem onto the women he dates, and then blame her for his inability to be comfortable with HIS own body. I find this especially intriguing when the woman is more sexually experienced than the man, but the man assumes that the reason sex for them does not happen often is because there is a problem between HER and sex. Oh, that fragile male ego. The MOST interesting part I find, is that very often, when a man has issues regarding having sex with women, the woman will sometimes mistake his disinterest issue in sex as him playing some hard-to-get game tactic. He is oblivious to it, and she ends up feeling rejected and then accuses him of playing some sort of mind game, when in fact he really believes he is being as honest with her as he can, and he assumes she is screwed up. (There are times when I truly wonder if the only reasons that people hook up are alcohol and desperation).
27 What I am going to cover here has nothing to do with physical problems like poor blood circulation or the inability to achieve and maintain erections. If you have no physical problems with this when you are alone, and if it only happen when you are with women, the problem is not with the women you are with. The problem is not your body. The problem is with "you". If you recognized yourself in the stories you are about to read, you must know that there is nothing that I, nor this book can do to help you. These issues for men are not as uncommon as most people would like to think. In fact, it is happening to more guys than would like to admit it. What you seek, and what you need, you will NOT find in learning to be better with women. You may need the services of a therapist of sexology, or even a physiatrist. You're problem is not with women, or attracting or managing your already existing relationships with women. Your problem is with sex. Some (not all) of these men actually get a thrill in getting to turn women down for sex. There are times when a man is being tested about respecting a woman's boundaries and his refusal to have sex IN THOSE CIRCUMSTANCES ONLY can understandably be a solid tactic to actually make her feel safe and comfortable enough to actually have sex with him in the future, but that is not what is going on here. These men actually are using sex (or the lack of) to hurt women as a means to lower a woman's self esteem and control women. These men derive pleasure from denying her, because they are unable to get pleasure from sex itself. There are three types of men that have a problem with sex and women, they are: 1-Men that are gay 2-Men that are emotionally weak. (They are shut down completely, or just plain scared of sex) 3-Men that are damaged goods 1-Men That Are Gay:
28
There are a percentage of men at large that are deluding themselves into thinking their problem is in picking up women. In fact, these guys are actually gay but the pain associated with coming to terms w i t h their homosexuality is worse than being a hetro-guy that cannot get laid. So these guys act like, and convince themselves, that they are straight but are just screw ups with women, blaming it on everything OTHER than their own sexual feelings and orientation. These men will hang out with other guys talking about how much they love to fuck chicks, seek out books like this one, study seduction related material. Sometimes one of these men will even meet a girl that likes him enough that she will break social norms and pursue him. Or he will happen to get "lucky" in that she will be attracted to him enough to tolerate all of his mistakes...BUT these men end up self-sabotaging and setting unrealistic goals that they never attain. For example, if a guy claims to only want to be with a girl that is considered by society to be a "10" out of a possible ten in the looks department, but finds the most ridiculous physical imperfections to base his rejection of her. (I.e. She has this ingrown toenail on her pinky toe of her left foot...). He suffers from...Creative A v o i d a n c e . He is setting the bar so high that he effectively prevents himself from even reaching it. On the odd chance that they get lucky enough to get such a woman to be interested in them, and even offer them sex, these men find reasons not to go through with it. Often saying things like "I did not like the way she eats her hamburger" and such. Every once in a while they may fake a story of a girl they dated in order to avoid suspicion. Admission of homosexuality can be incredibly painful and scary. It challenges everything a person believes about himself and his upbringing. It is easier for him to be in denial and suppress his feelings, and even go out of his way to prove he is the complete opposite of gay. Pretending to be the guy that is a social retard with women is a perfect
29 shield. These guys also have ridiculously high standards about how a woman is supposed to behave socially, or other such nonsense for the same reasons. It is all creative avoidance. 2-Men That Are Emotionally Weak: These guys fall into 2 categories. The first category is the guys that are really, really, REALLY scared of having sex. The second category is the guys that have little or no emotional range at all. Category 1: Usually, these guys are older, virgins or very inexperienced, perfectionists who are often very successful in other endeavors of their lives. They make themselves unattractive or very unattainable to women they interact with. Their actions are deeply rooted in fear and shame. They do not want to appear unknowledgeable or unskilled. They feel that they are already so behind the times, that admitting they don't know their way around a vagina risks very high ridicule in their minds. Usually, they grew up in environments where everything they did was criticized and deemed not perfect enough. They do not associate the act of sex with a woman as pleasurable and fun, but rather as pressured and full of performance anxiety. They live with an incredible fear of pissing women off, and associate the act of sex with angering women. It is like they are little children afraid to upset their mommies with the ideas of sex. Unable to show any vulnerability, nor to place enough trust on a woman not to betray his secret in public, this man lives in quite pain, feeling totally alone. They often appear very shy, and very quite at parties, sitting in the corner and hiding behind poor humor. Although a number of these men have solved this problem through the act of seeking prostitutes or another sex trade worker, (depending or course with what is legal in the area they live,) many of them have such shame issues with sex, or such possible solutions are illegal in certain places, that it continues to be an ever growing problem. The longer they wait to confront
30 their fears and just have sex, the more difficult it becomes to face it. From the men I have counseled that are going through this, using sex trade workers does not solve their issues. In fact, it just adds to these men's complex. Category 2: These guys have just the opposite problem and are on the other extreme. These guys have so severely REPRESSED their emotions, that they in fact have little or no emotional range. Somewhere along the way, they learned that men are not supposed to SHOW emotions. They may have tried to solve this challenge by attacking their ability to HAVE emotions. They are incapable of understanding a woman's emotional states and rely very heavily on looks and tactics. They are hollow on the inside, and their opinions and stances sway with the wind of the more dominant personalities present They are unable to make real emotional connections with all people, not just women.
They cannot fake substance, so they simply survive on show. Usually they are victims of some emotional trauma (for example: a ravaged divorce) or even strong medication. They have difficulty making real friends and being in social settings. They are the most dangerous of all types. Since they lack the capacity to really connect, they truly have little to lose in breaking the friendships they attempt to form, as they are numb to the pain of emotional distress. They enter the world of meeting women thinking that if they learn just another pick up line, or just one more mind game tactic, they can get women to stick around. Actually, what they seek is ways to control women, and will use those same tactics to control the men in their lives. They only closely associate with others that they feel some sense of control over, or people that give them presents, money and other items. They just as easily drop people, or avoid people that catch on. Without any emotional depth they are lost in a void, and seek security through control of their environments.
31
It is my experience that guys who primarily deal with logic usually are not very aware of their own emotions and emotional states. If you were such a man, this would be an area that you may want to start learning about. Here are some differently worded questions that you could look at: A) How do you feel about your situation with women? Good, bad, indifferent, wanting, etc B) How do you feel about what you are feeling? For example: Does it may you angry that you are feeling bad about your situation with women.... etc. C) How much do you know your own emotions? For example: Are you in control of your nervousness? Are you a jealous guy, or are you totally emotionally shut down? Many guys who enter this study are exactly that, emotionally shut down, and the truth is that what you learn here is not a substitute for therapy. 3- Men Who Are Very Damaged In Some Mental Or Emotional Way: No amount of literature on being a man, picking up chicks, dating, or anything else is any substitute for solving this kind of problem. I want you to really consider an idea. It is a generally accepted fact that many women, maybe even almost half of all women, have been the victims of some form of abuse whether mild or incredibly severe. Now then, let us assume just for the sake of expanding the scope of your perspective that the same percentage holds true for all men. Just think about that: The same number of men out there being abused, getting raped, being molested...and no male victims talking about it. That is the perspective to hold onto when considering this category of men. These men can be abuse victims, have displaced relations to sex, come from unhealthy destructive upbringings or some extreme religious or societal abuse, or suffer from chemical imbalances. They need real inner work and the perspective of a trained professional. Most self-help material out there puts a heavy focus on solving internal issues and that is
32 what attracts this type of guy to learning to communicate well with women in relationships. BUT, the inner issues that the self help community can fix such as building up confidence, cannot Band-Aid really deep serious issues like selfdestructive-aggression, or clinical depression. These guys usually straggle along for years in society, and when they finally achieve some measure of success and attain even the most basic first goals they set for themselves, those inner issues that were not yet dealt with surface fast, and destroy everything that was accomplished, setting the person back and even deeper into that unchallenged abyss. These guys need to first fix the real issues they face, and then they can focus on getting into a great relationship with a woman. No person, no book, and nothing in the world, can make you WANT to have sex with women. It is either something you want, or do not want. I think these guys really want to believe that they want to have sex with women. Trying to convince themselves to have sex with women is far different that than truly wanting to have sex with women. If you are a man that falls into one or more of the above categories, please put this book down and seek professional assistance. Whatever the reason, I sincerely hope you come to terms with it. Your pain is deeper than mine, and cannot be helped by this book. I just hope that you do find your path to total selfacceptance. I have come to believe that we all attract what we subconsciously think we already DESERVE. It is an issue about deservedness. Why should you come to terms with this? You're A Man, That's Your Job.
Chapter 1 The 10 Base Philosophies of Life
34 Introduction to Chapter One Part of being a man, is knowing who you are. Parts of knowing whom you are, is knowing what you bel ieve. You're a Man, That's Your Job. In the first chapter of this book I am going to present to you MY beliefs. I adopted these beliefs during my time of development, and they have served me very well. Perhaps they will do the same for you. In these beliefs, I am presenting more than just "what to think", I am presenting "HOW to think". As you continue to read the rest of this book, just keep in mind that my writings are all based on the base philosophies that I make efforts to live by. on a daily basis. I am a women I have SCREW UP! I thing all of the refer back too. human being and I screw up. As the dated will attest to, MAN DO I EVER do not always manage to do the right time, but I know I have what I need to
This book is by no means ALL the beliefs I carry with me, (that would be near impossible) but I do think these beliefs outlined in Chapter One, are some of the more important ones that helped me on my journey of being a seducer-in-training.
35 Basic Philosophy # 1 Philosophy of Violence I have 4 rules about violence The first three rules of violence are: Rule 1 - No Violence Rule 2 - No Violence Rule 3 - No Violence Violence is described here as an action taken against someone. Whether it be verbal threats, mental abuse, or physical attacks causing significant damage or harm to another person, which that person does not consent to. Read that last line again. "Which that person does not consent to." This means that when a person consents to being hurt, (as in the case with some sexual fetishes) or for example in the case of two boxers who both wish to get into the ring and battle, that would not be an example of violence. Rule 4 - A person who does commit an act of violence hereby forfeits their own personal rights to safety. This means that if someone attacks you, the attacker forfeits his rights to safety, and you or anyone else has the right to do whatever damage you need to do to the attacker in order to ensure your own survival. So if someone commits an act of violence against you, then you can do whatever it takes to stop them. This is where my philosophy gets very scary because it is easy to get carried away with revenge when the idea is suppose to be self-preservation. The last part of this belief is that when defending yourself, I evoke a belief that I got from Robert Ringer which I will paraphrase: Although I may be able to choose my actions, I am not able to choose the final consequences of my actions. That means that, if I choose to defend myself, I have to accept that I may be
36 punished for my actions. If I am ready to be judged for my actions in defending myself, then I proceed. An example of this is a kid being bullied in school by another kid. If the kid being bullied will not defend himself for fear of getting expelled I personally find that useless. If the kid defends himself using the same type, or worse aggression, than the kid who is bullying him in order to end the torture, AND the kid being bullied is willing to accept the fact he might get expelled, then that is a better life. In the short term it may mean some heartache, but in the long run that kid will learn to never be bullied again. I am not condoning acts of extreme violence like killing sprees in schools. Although when it is from a kid that was bullied, and he is killing the actual bullies, I do not condone it but I can understand it. I think there are more effective ways to better your life than to go to prison or die in a blaze of gunfire. If you are contemplating extreme violence in the name of protecting yourself, please be sure that you have already exhausted all other forms of self-preservation beforehand. This includes talking to friends, family and/or professionals about your actual situation. The reason I bring this up is because of the issue of violence against women. Being a man does not mean taking what you want from a woman, nor does it ever involve any violence against them. Period. If a man gets violent with a woman, she has every right to defend herself. That being said, if a woman gets violent with a man, he has every right to defend himself too. Although I mention this here for social and legal reasons, I do want to point out, that very violent guys would already be using their violent attacks to control women, and would not be here, trying to read a book about how to better become a man.
37 How does this relate to being a man Part of being a man means you must learn to deal with violence. Whether it is in the controlling of your own violent tendencies, or dealing with the violent actions of others against you. You are responsible for the protection of your relationships from outsiders, thus you need to know where you stand on this topic. You're a Man, That's Your Job.
38 Base Philosophy it 2 The Philosophy of Truth in Theories Theories do not have to be true. They have to work to be valid. For example, different religions have be viewed as being completely false, or false interpretations, they all serve the purposes they set out to achieve. They give followers instruction; hope, faith and an understanding that helps them function day to day with an established code of morality. The same holds true for the teachings I am about to explain about being a man. I honestly know that some of the things I believe in are not scientifically proven nor are they perfect for that matter, but damn it! Thinking the way I do is what has worked for me to get the results I want without ever having to get violent. What is absolutely necessary for me is that you the reader are able to function. If these theories allow you to function without resorting to violence, then I believe that my theories are pretty respectable theories. I do not know if any of what you are about to read is correct... I am just sure it works. That is all I care
about.
How does this relate to being a man Part of the journey in becoming a man is to find your own truth. What is true for you may not be true for others. What you believe will make you happy, is different from what others believe will make them happy. What will work for you, might not work for others and vice-versa. Here is an example: I remember one man telling me that he used to just read a book, under a tree at the park, and girls would come up and talk to him and that meeting new girls was just this easy. So I went out and tried it. Well, I sat there a long time, and NO woman came over to start a conversation with me. Later I would realize that the
39 real difference was that he was a great looking guy (he looked like a male model), and I was not (I was morbidly obese at the time). Did he steer me wrong? No, not really. He was always a good-looking guy, and girls were always approaching him. That was his "truth". That is what worked for him. He never factored in how much his own good looks came into play with his lifestyle. My truth was different Girls would not approach me as they did him, because I did not have his good looks. When I told him that I tried it and that it did not work, he simply could not believe it. He told me that he thought I did not even try and just made up the story of doing it Oh well. If you take the advice of any man, when it comes to meeting and seducing women, always ask yourself what his truth of the world is. If it is completely out of line with your own truth and experiences, take his teachings with a grain of salt. This does not mean that you reject everything that you do not like hearing. It means that you try it anyways, and if it does not work for you, the material may not be what is false. It may not be your inability to pull it off either, as it might just be the fact that you need to find something more specific to work for you. Finding out what works for you to get sex, can be the hardest and most difficult part of this journey. There are high levels of experimentation with different communication styles and tactics, and it can often depend on factors like body language, body types, looks, fashion, your mood, and your state of mind. This and other factors might greatly discourage you each time you find something that does not work for you. I implore you to keep at it though, and join me on THIS side of the canyon. Why do this? You're a Man, That's Your Job.
40 Base Philosophy it 3 The Philosophy of the Exception There will usually be an exception to every rule. Regardless of this, rules still apply and reflect generalizations. This should be noted. Never plan to be, rely o n , or plan to run into the exception to the rule. Exceptions to the rule are exceptions, precisely because they do not set out to be that. So if you run into a woman that is the exception to the rule and you can connect to her in such a way that you don't need the teachings of any of my book, then by all means ignore what I say and have a happy life. By the same token, if you run into a woman that is the exception to the rule and you are unable to connect with her emotional needs (Hey there are women that are so shut down that it's quite impossible)...just wish her peace, leave her alone, and MOVE O N . Needing to get them all is still a form of infantile neediness and not very masculine nor attractive. During a man's journey of development, when he is learning about who he is and what works for him in getting women, he will occasionally meet with an exception to the rule. How do you know if you hit the exception? Well there are two ways to figure it out: 1) The first, and best way is to keep at it, take constant action, and then examine your results. If you are getting 9 out of every 10, then you know you have found something that works for you, and that you have one exception to the rule. If your communication skills are getting you only 1 out of every 10 girls you approach, then maybe you need to change your approach as the numbers indicate that you are doing something wrong. It does not mean that you have approached 9 exceptions to the rule. 2) The second method is to compare notes with other men who are doing the same thing as you. See what their results are, and also see how their approaches are different from yours.
41
For a time, just before I started my first fullblown Harem, I was dating (but not sleeping with) about 5 girls, 4 of who were virgins between the ages of 22 to 32. I must have been giving off a particular vibe then. Now that I have completed the seducer-in-training part of my journey, I can tell you that for some reason whatever I was doing and experimenting with as part of my journey was attracting those exceptions to the rule to me. (A side note: My journey has surely taught me that the norm with women and virginity is NOT reflected in that period of my life). After you gain enough experience you will know that you have a certain level of competence in attracting women as evidenced by your actual results. This is when you can know for sure that is was not your lack of calibration skills, but the exception to the rule that you may have encountered. There is only one caveat to keep in mind with this theory, in that is you must take into consideration the type of women you go after. If you go after women that fit a particular grouping, lifestyle or culture, and you learn to connect with those particular women well, but fail when you use the same method with women that belong to a different grouping, lifestyle or culture then you are not running into exceptions to the rule. You simply have a limited skill base. At that point, it is your lack of calibration that is at fault, and not the women you target. How does this relate to being a man Part of being a man is learning to handle the truth about you with regards to your strengths and weaknesses. You must adhere to the actual reality of the situation, if you want reality to work in your favor. Do not get preoccupied with nailing that exception to the rule. Do not be so quick to label her as an exception, UNTIL your skill set is strong enough to say otherwise.
42
Base Philosophy 4 Existence of both a Subconscious Mind And a Conscious Mind Some of the theory I present in this book is based on the assumption that there is both a conscious mind, and a subconscious (a.k.a unconscious) mind, and that they are different. I have shown this to a person who is well versed in clinical psychology, and he has informed me that this is clinically incorrect. However, this is a Frank theory, and under Frank's Rules theories: It doesn't have to be true. It just has to work. It is the repetition that the subconscious recognizes which is key. Remember that the subconscious has no choice but to believe everything correct or incorrect, to be truth. Therefore, a practice of change if repeated enough, will be deemed true by the subconscious, even if the conscious mind rejects it. For example: when reliving a memory or reexperiencing the emotions of a memory, the conscious mind understands the difference between a memory of the past and the present moment of linear time. The subconscious does not. As far as the subconscious is concerned, there is no such thing as "remembering a time", because it is all happening now. Here, again for the first time. It is all real, all true, no matter if the conscious mind categorizes it as reality or fantasy. When you ask yourself a serious question such as "How do I drive a car?", your subconscious struggles to answer it while your conscious mind chooses to answer it. When you ask a negative question such as "How could I make that mistake?" your subconscious struggles to answer it and your conscious mind can choose whether or not to answer it. When you ask yourself a rhetorical question such as "How could I be such a dumb-ass?" your subconscious struggles to answer it while your conscious mind knows just to ignore it.
43 Have you ever had the experience where you are going about your normal routine and for apparently no reason at all, you start to remember unpleasant memories of things you aren't proud of? There are two possible reasons. Either something in your current environment reminded your subconscious of it and triggered a recall of that memory, OR at some earlier point, you asked your subconscious a rhetorical question, and it presented you with a memory to answer it Your conscious mind may not remember the question, but the subconscious does not have the ability to forget Two Questions That Are Great To Ask Yourself Often Thus a really great question to ask you VERY often is the Inner Clearance Question: How could, I fill that space, completely clear myself internally, with positive energy? and
Good question. Your subconscious is already listening. You can expect an answer.
Here is another I call this my Ultimate Brain Question. It is so structured with positive action words, and devoid of negativity that I highly recommend it. What Action, can I take, so that, I will learn, achieve my goal of (insert desired result)? to
Ask these questions to yourself often and out loud, especially in front of the mirror. Both your conscious mind, and your subconscious will thank you. How does this relate to being a man Many of the writing exercises that you are going to do in this book are all about you taping into your SUBCONSCIOUS and communicating it through your conscious talk.
44 For example: when coming up with a list of your symbols you may not even be consciously aware as to what your symbols are, or even why. When your subconscious sees those symbols, it will cause you to react By writing out your lists, over time your conscious mind will become keenly aware of your symbols that your subconscious already responds too. Next, there is an entire chapter here about developing your seduction persona. Your seduction persona does not actually exist, except in your imagination. It is a tool for you to use in order to enact the change work. Your conscious mind understands this. However, according to your unconscious mind, your persona DOES exist, and is as real a person as you are, which makes the painful change work you about to embark on much more tolerable and easier to navigate.
45 Below is my chart to illustrate the differences between the Conscious mind and the Subconscious mind. The Conscious M i n d : Can see the difference between the past, present and future. It can distinguish different points in the time line. It is completely preoccupied in linear time. What is happening now, it understands is right now. When you are remembering something it sees it as the past. What you envision for the future it understands that it has not happened yet. Understands that there are some facts that are true, and some that are false. It is analytical. Can tell the difference between positive and negative language and influences. When faced with a question, it can choose what questions it answers and which ones it ignores. The S u b c o n s c i o u s Mind: Cannot see the difference between the past, present and future. It does not acknowledge the concept of linear time. What is happening now it understands is right now. When you are remembering something it sees it as ALSO right now. What you envision for the future it understands that is ALSO happening right now too. Is not analytical. Therefore everythingincluding impossible facts, are ALL TRUE Makes no distinction between positive and negative languages and influences. When faced with a question, it must answer ALL questions. It will keep busy with them until it finds an answer, and when it does, will bring the answer to the light of knowledge to the conscious mind. An example of this is when you learn something new and an old memory that you had thought forgotten pops up because the new learning has allowed you to finally understand it
46 Sees the difference between reality (what actually is) and fantasy (dreams, make-believe) Can easily be programmed with new learning and education Sees NO difference between reality (what actually is) and fantasy (dreams, make-believe) Difficult to re-program. Old Habits die-hard. Takes more than just conscious learning to make a chanqe. Unable to forget anything (retains and stores everything) It is actually in total control of all your behaviors but has utterly no concept of its control.
Able to forget (selective memory) It thinks it is in control of your behaviors, but actually it is not. However it can influence the subconscious through conscious repetitive action to help form new habit. It contemplates "existence". (1 think, therefore 1 am). The conscious mind is about what you THINK you deserve and is less powerful than subconscious
Conscious mind is interested in what it can see, hear, taste, smell, touch and measurements and has no interest in trying to interpret possible deeper meanings. It is the puppet
It does not even know it "exists", cannot think about "existence" as a concept. The subconscious is about what you FEEL you deserve and is more powerful than the conscious (if you feel you don't deserve good things, it will cause you to selfsabotaqe) Subconscious mind is interested in the EMOTIONAL IMPACT of what it can see, hear, taste, smell, touch and measure and is constantly trying to interpret deep meanings. It is the puppet master
47 Base Philosophy # 5 Principle Philosophy of Vibrations Magic Okay, this next little bit is going to sound hokey, and by all means it is totally hokey, but as a man, following this rule will make your understanding of women so much easier and faster. The rule is that everything in existence which includes all matter, all thoughts, all colors, all life, all death, all emotions and all actions taken.... all of them, VIBRATE their energies at particular and unique frequencies. (An episode of Star Trek, not sure which series, used the word Quantum Frequencies to describe something similar.) Author's note: Just what the heck is it with guys and Star Trek? The second part of this belief is that when two items, each with its own vibration frequency, are put together, each vibration will have an influence and impact the other. So certain colors (i.e. Red) vibrate at close to the same frequency as certain emotions (i.e. passion). This does not mean they vibrate at the same frequency, but they are so close that when you wear a red shirt it vibrates such that it could influence your thoughts, your mood, and so on.... how does it do this? Part of it can be due to social conditioning (you were brought up to assume that red means love or anger), but that is a thought, and even a thought carries with it a vibration of a particular frequency. We are all influenced by the collection of vibrations at particular frequencies. Human beings are a collection of feelings, experiences, thoughts, matter (body parts), and vibrate energy as a collective of all those things from the subconscious. Add to that clothes, jewelry, precious stones, smells and we become a bundle of energy based on those vibrations. Remember here, that at any one time, you do not give off thousands of vibrations at the same time...you give off ONE COLLECTIVE
48 vibration. That is what people mean when they tell you about feeling "A" vibe from a person. Energy attracts energy (based on those energy vibrations) and since one energy vibration can influence another, part of what you are going to learn in this book is how to clear up your own energies, so that your vibrations will help you attract the kind of women that will also be attracted to your own energies, based on the frequency you both vibrate at. I believe that women feel this on some instinctual level that most men are not consciously aware of. As a man, that makes no sense to me, but to a woman it can mean the difference between rejecting him and having his children. In fact, what I think happens is that a woman picks up on his frequency of energy vibration, and instinctually understands things about him, but because it is instinctual and not conscious, she relates it to certain details that the man may not even be aware are improper. The problem in this lies in the fact that instincts can be wrong. One of the last reasons I write this is the belief that once you put an idea into your head (thought or intention), you will coincidentally seem to attract to you people and opportunities that are based on that idea. This is commonly practiced in trance work, and visualizations. For example: lets say that you are looking to get a particular job, and you decide totally that you will do whatever it takes to get that job. You begin to take actions that are in line with that job. At some point you will start to meet people, without planning it, that coincidentally can help you establish the achievement of that goal. I believe that this is not coincidence. Your thoughts, actions, and all the things about you start to vibrate at the frequency, which will attract to you the thoughts, actions and opportunities that the universe has to offer.
49 How does this relate to women? When everything you are "VIBES" at the frequency of being attractive to the kinds of women that you yourself are attracted too, you will attract them. Do I know this for a fact? Nope. Have I experienced this? Yes. But it does not matter to me if it is fact or not What matters to me is having this belief works for me. Maybe it will work for you too. I hope that it does, and if so, please write me an email to let me know.
How does this relate to being a man Going through the writing exercises of this book will clear up your thoughts and thus, the vibrations associated with your thinking. If you are unsure or confused about the way you think, with the way you feel, and are not sure about the things you really want, or feel desperate in the things you overly desire or are addicted to, then all that uncertainty comes through in your vibrations. When you go through all the exercises in this book you will know yourself better, you will clear out lots of your own uncertainties and self-doubts about who you are, AND with the development your seduction persona, you will be able to learn to influence your VIBE to make you a more attractive individual. When you change your thoughts, you change your feelings and thus you change your overall VIBE. An attractive man is a man of certainty. And the vibe of certainty is irresistible to women, because a man that is certain, is doing his job.
50
Base Philosophy # 6 Philosophy of Property Rights There is no greater philosophy in the world that taught me more about how to think, understand, interpret and respond to the people than this one. The philosophy of "Property Rights" gave me the perspective that helped clear up other areas of my life, so that I could properly focus on bettering my communication skills with women. As I understand it, the doctrine of property rights means that when you violate a person's property (i.e. steal their material possessions like money, car, or intellectual property such as downloading music) it is just as bad as if you attacked them physically and hurt their body in some way. Property not only means your material possessions and intellectual property, it also includes YOUR LIFE as a form of property, and your rights to keeping YOUR BODY (another form of property) safe from harm. Property is all connected on the same level, whether it is your life, house, car, and the fruits of your labor as far as respecting property rights is concerned. Why? It is based on a man's property that he is able to continue to survive and sustain his ability to live. It is the basis of most bodies of law, unions, collective agreements and license requirements.
It has taught me to value people's time, and to reward people that do something for me. I am not into any "something for nothing" lifestyle. I choose to enter relationships where both parties offer value to each other, and always make efforts to balance the stakes when I feel I am being given more that I give. This conscious effort of not accepting favors for frivolous requests, and only asking for the type of help, that I am able to plan to offer in return, perhaps in a different area, but at the same level, is a key concept to achieving true masculine independence and self-respect. When I do need help, the plus side of this base philosophy is that I needn't look very hard to find people to help me, because if they know anything about how I
51 conduct myself, they all know that I ask, because I must REALLY absolutely had too, otherwise I would not ask. People are always willing to help out, in BIG ways, to a man, that does not ask for lots of small favors. They feel good about helping, and I can feel justified in asking. I have been known to turn down some "great opportunities" in some offers of "help", because I so value a person's property rights in their offerings, that I would never take advantage of their good natures. In the short term, I do suffer, and sometimes suffer greatly. In the long term, I keep myself out of trouble, and build strong social connections that last years. How does this relate to being a man Part of being a man was for me, to learn a clear understanding of respecting people's property rights, which gave me the ability to quickly see through people's arguments and adjust my own behaviors, and STAY AWAY FROM MALE DRAMA. I now have a capacity to see through situations, and cut right to the heart of what is going on. I can usually assess if someone is out to do wrong, and it helps me make judgments on peoples characters by analyzing how they treat others regarding property
rights.
It also has given me a guideline to follow. In the world of seduction and dating instructors, there is a lot of mistrust and ill repute, and rightly so. Respectable, and not so respectable instructors out there have told me, that they find me to be one of the most respected in the industry. It is not because I never make a mistake, I make lots. Nor is it because I am cool or any of that stuff ( l a m still a dork in many areas of my life). I believe that I am respected because I show respect to others by first respecting their legitimate property rights. That, above all else has factored in my standing, which I sometimes think has been blown out of proportion.
52 Base Philosophy # 7 Philosophy of the Emotional Needs Theories I have so detailed my emotional needs theory for how men can seduce women in my book Everything Out of Her Mouth is a Test, that I am only going to BRIEFLY summaries it here. Since the release of my last book, I have started a new book on the emotional needs of men. This is a book for women to read to learn how they can prove themselves to the men of their choice and get those men to commit to them, by a focus on addressing men's emotional needs. Since that information will be a novel unto itself, once again I am only going to BRIEFLY summaries it here. This theory of emotional needs is at the heart of the Frank B Kermit method of seduction. It took me years to formulate what I now teach in minutes to significantly change men's lives forever. I am most proud of the way this material is making the world a better place, and I participate in making my clients and students better men. I look forward to the future when I will be able to educate women on the emotional needs of men, making better women too. For MEN who w a n t to Seduce W o m e n i n t o loving him, I present: The Mother-Lover Theory Women ca n only take on 1 of 2 roles in a ny ma n's life: 1) Mother
Of
2) Lover When a man addresses a woman's emotional needs, he comes across as a high value male, and she feels special and desires to be his lover. When a man fails to address her emotional needs, it indicates that he is a low value male, and she feels obligated to be the "mother" of the situation, and loses any desire for sexual
53 relations with him. When a man badly violates her emotional needs, she sees him as a threat, and will seek to totally get away from him. The way a woman finds out if he can address all of her main emotional needs is that she TESTS him. It is her INSTINCT to mother you, and testing you, is her biological way to know if she needs to switch into mother-mode, (a.k.a no-sex -for-you-mode). A "TEST": is when a woman says or does something, specifically to evoke a reaction out of a man, whether verbal or action based. It is a SUBCONSCIOUS mechanism that a woman uses to find out about what kind of man she is dealing with which is based on her mothering instinct, which is stronger than her instinct for sex. I have identified 10 emotional-needs categories that women test for. 1-The protection Reputation of her most valuable asset: Her
2-Women want to FEEEEL a range of emotions. Do not try to make her happy ONLY, give her a full range from fury to ecstasy. This is a.k.a. her Drama Cookie 3-Cater to the little girl in her. Know the difference when to ignore her ramblings and when she needs you to give her a hug. Sometimes she just needs to be reassured like a little kid 4-Be dominant and take responsibility for leading the relationship. This includes making all the decisions, and taking 100% responsibility for the sex in the relationship. It all has to be the man's "fault" 5-She fears abandonment. This is part biological programming, as in the event she is left with a child, she needs to be sure that she will not be abandoned, and left alone to care for it. This covers her emotional need to feel secure. This is 5 0 % of the reason that she desires martial commitment.
54 6-Trust The key here is if she can trust you to be honest with her, even if you know she will not like what you have to say. In a woman's reality, she is used to people lying to her ALL THE TIME because of the way she looks, or they simply want something from her. If you are willing to piss her off with your honesty, you have demonstrated that she can trust you. 7-Her physical safety. A man must demonstrate that he is capable of protecting her physically from the threats of the outside world. This is to make her feel protected. 8-Women need to know that you can handle her TRUE sexuality. She will only be as wanton with you as you demonstrate that you can handle it. She needs to explore her sexuality and let it be free with you as a Natural Woman 9-Prove that you have high quality sperm. The best way is by showing that other girls want to have sex (procreate) with you, and/or you are a "good catch" and the kids with you will also be a "good catch" enough to also attract a mate. This is the other 5 0 % of the reason that she desires martial commitment. On this one need alone, a man can get sex in certain cases. 10-Prove that you are not a homosexual. She knows every homosexual male friend she currently has that is not out of the closet yet. Could you be one too?
For WOMEN who want to prove themselves and get High Value Men to c o m m i t to her, I present: The Ally-Enemy Theory A Man only sees women as playing only 1 of 2 roles in his life: 1) An Ally Or 2) An Enemy
55 When a woman addresses a man's emotional needs, she comes across as a high value female, and he feels RESPECTED, and thus considers committing to her for being an ally to him. When a woman fails to address his emotional needs, it indicates to him that she is a low value female and he may abandon her temporarily, and loses some desire to commit to her. He may still want to be sexual with her in both cases, but he will only commit to her if she proves herself, beyond a shadow of a doubt, to be his ally. When a woman badly violates his emotional needs, he sees her as a threat to his lifestyle of choice, and will seek to totally drop her from his life altogether (total abandonment).
The way a man finds out if she can address all of his main emotional needs is that he CHALLENGES her. Although sex for a man is instinctual, and a man will be willing to have sex with a woman, even if she does not meet all of his challenges for his emotional needs; the making of a COMMITMENT to her is a totally different story for him. It's not how he feels about hen it is about how she treats him. A man constantly observes how she treats him through meeting his emotional needs using the threat to abandon his women (non-commitment) to her because his INSTINCT to fuck (sexual variety), is stronger than his instinct to father. A "CHALLENGE": is anything a man notices that is directly related to how he judges the way a woman treats him. If she meets that challenge, he will know because he will feel RESPECTED. If she fails, he may feel disinterested in commitment, and just want sex. If she violates his emotional needs, he will abandon her including the sex. I have identified 10 emotional-needs categories that men have in order to challenge women. 1-The protection of his most valuable asset: His Reputation. We know women will complain about us, it is part of what women do. What men want to hear is
56 that women complain about men in a way, that still presents him as desirable to other women. 2-Recharge time. Men seek quiet time to rest, relax, regroup, rekindle and recharge a.k.a Going deep within the cave. The woman that knows when to shut up, be quiet and give her man some space is the woman that meets this challenge. A.k.a the Rule of R's. 3-Can you mind the store? If a man is incapacitated, injured, passed out, in an accident, will she still be able to carry on, and pick up where he left off? Can she take care of things while he is away until he is well enough again to return and take over? Will she be able to care for his children if he dies? 4-Compliance. We do not want blind obedience; we want compliance to our actions of dominance. Unnecessary challenges to male dominance are the beginning of the male roving eye. 5-Nurture of his social-personal environment. This can be up to 75% of the reason that he chooses her for martial commitment, even if he will not be faithful to her. A man who knows who he is, and what he wants, seeks a woman that can nurture their shared investments (home, children, lifestyle) 6-Be the Secret Keeper. One of the ways a man challenges a woman is that he will trust her with a small secret, just to see if she will betray him. Being a secret keeper is the quality of the great mystical mistress who inspires long-term commitment from her lovers. 7-Put Us First If a man has reason to assume that the woman will listen to her friends, family or her other suitors over him, or if she does not publicly stand by her man, she will never get his commitment. 8-SEX. For men, sex IS the emotional need. Whereas women can have all of her emotional needs addressed through sex, for a man, sex will only address this one emotional need. This can be up to the other 2 5 % that he will choose her for marital commitment. If everything else
57 is there, but the sex is not, a man is unable to commit at 100%. 9-Penis Identity. So much of a man's self image is tied to his penis, and this includes the issue of the paternity of his children. The woman that openly loves that one part of his body is far ahead of her competition. 10- Femininity. A man feels more masculine, when a woman puts forth the extra effort to be feminine as he instinctually picks up on that feminine energy. Femininity is defined as being Attractive (Arousal), Appreciative (makes him feel useful), and most importantly Courteous (Giving). The challenge here is being courteous without being mothering.
How does this relate to being a man It is not enough JUST to be born a man; you must demonstrate you are a High Value Male. Just as when studying the emotional needs of women, the theory pre-supposes that we are dealing with women that are of actual emotional health (high value women). In this set of emotional needs for men, we also must presuppose that the man is of high value as well; as low value men have different emotional needs. When a woman makes a judgment on you as either a high value male, or a low value male, it is DIRECTLY related to your addressing of her emotional needs. Only the higher value males are the ones that get the women they w a n t The lower value males get only what they can have. A man must also set standards for himself about the type of women that he would commit to. Having sex is one thing, but commitment for a man, must be something she earns. She can only earn it, if he knows himself enough to set the perimeter. The setting of the perimeter That's HIS job.
58
Base Philosophy # 8 The Meaning of Life Think about your DEATH. No, seriously. If you want to figure out the meaning of YOUR life, you must first come to grips with the cold reality that someday, you and everyone you know, is going to die. You see, I know a secret...that one day...*l*.... am going to die. I will not be around forever. I came to that conclusion when I was about 16. I did an oral presentation in my Grade 11 English class on the topic of death (I had just attended the funeral of a neighbor and close friend). I remember distinctly that near the end of that class presentation, I led the class of thirty students (15 -17 year olds) through the following exercise. Here is that exercise: I told them to take a look, a good look, just for a few seconds at the face and in the eyes, of the person sitting to their left. They did. Then I told them to look at the person sitting to their right. They did. Then I told them to do the same thing for the person sitting in front of them, behind them, across from them etc. Basically take a good look at the faces and the eyes of everyone in the classroom. At this point some kids were giggling and making faces to their friends but I ignored that part. Then I took back control and asked everyone to look at me. Once I had their attention again, I said the following statement, which sent some of the toughest and smartmouthed teenagers in the room into absolute tears and minor hysteria. I said: "Everybody that you just faces...someday...are going looked todie." at, all these
Got it? Good.
59 ...You still with me? Ok. Now that you have come to know the truth, and still decided to figure out the meaning of life instead of giving up, let's work together to help you discover YOUR meaning of life. One thing to keep in mind is that there is a difference between: The meaning of YOUR life?
And
Why are you here?
The answer to the second question is pretty self evident in my philosophy. You are here because at some point, the sperm of your father fertilized an egg cell of your mother, and about nine months later you popped out, and got as screwed up by the system as the rest of us. THAT is WHY you are here. (You will read more about this particular concept of Why Are You Here in the part of Base Philosophy # 10: We were born to FUCK.) In this part, we are asking for the meaning of YOUR life. The meaning of life is not the "why" about being here: it is about how you choose to live it. It is about what is important to you and to identify what it is that gets you out of bed in the morning, and keeps you from sleeping at night. Learning about what is important to you at this level may seem like an easy task, but it is not It forces a man to stare down the barrel of his own mortality, and he must acknowledge that he is not going to be around forever. When I started down this path, the first thing I did was to write down what I liked to do, and the things I thought I was passionate about. I also wrote a list of skills that I knew I already had. It was a good start. However, that path took me down into a career that I thought I wanted. It was good, but as I grew as a person, the initial path I chose was no longer suiting me. For example: as a youth, I LOVED watching TV, and I
60 loved building stuff, and being creative. So I went and sought a career in television media production. As the years went by and I changed as a person, that career path no longer suited me. I still loved being creative and watching TV, BUT I had missed the point that I like watching TV as I felt I was learning, and it was the LEARNING that I loved, not the TV programs. In the end, I discovered that although my goals changed over time, the underlying themes and emotional needs behind those changing goals stayed the same. Learning to address a woman's emotional needs, taught me to be able to identify my emotional needs. What I am about to present to you represents years of personal research that had been condensed into a few pages. As part of my development, I wrote down a list of things I wanted said about me at my funeral. Here is that list for you to read now: My life counted for something; did something great to contribute I was a hero I made the world a better place, even better than when I first arrived, and will have it continue to get better long after I am gone. I will be remembered. I inspired thoughts, ideas and passions and through those thoughts, ideas, and passions, encouraged the birth of children born from those thoughts, ideas and passions. Those children born of the thoughts, ideas and passions I inspired, will carry with them an energy that I helped create, and in that way, I will truly be immortal even if I am not remembered. I touched people (past, present and future) in some way making them feel good I was a lover of women I was a fantastic teacher I was a true man
61
This was where I started, and now I am going to give you some writing exercises here. I want you to write out the following lists. This is a concrete, condensed, and action oriented version of the exact process I went through. Remember, if you are reading this, you ASKED for it. Here are some Meaning-of-Life exercises I want you to do: 1-Write your own eulogy 2-Fill out your tombstone epitaph 3-Take a walk in a cemetery or mausoleums and study the grave dates 4-What your 3 friends think about you vs. what you thought they would say. 5-Contemplate the movie of your life 6-Ten Things you want said about you at your funeral 7-Ten Things you want to be remembered for 8-Ten Things That Will Build Your Legacy 9-Ten most influential books and songs of your life and their authors 10-Ten people you most admire, and why you admire them 11-Ten life principles that are important to you and why they are important in your opinion 12-Ten beliefs you have about how the world should change 13-Ten things you would love to do to make a full time living that would not seem like work to you. 14-Ten Actions you are currently taking, or are going to take this year, that will make the above actually happen Life's Purpose and Inner Turmoil Part of what helped me get some ideas about my life, was to focus on the fact that I WILL die one day, and with my health issues, maybe sooner than later. I figure I have about another 30-40 years left in me...and not all of them are going to be pleasant. Not much time, but enough to make my mark. It is important to push through, and keep at it because inactivity causes death.
62
No joke.
Think about all those old guys that die a year or so after they retire. Any action is better than no action. As even in the wrong actions, you can still learn what does not work for you, even if you are still trying to figure out what does work for you. It is an ongoing process. As long as you are active, it will be easier to change the road you are on than it is to start from nothing. Sometimes, part of learning-of-self, requires you to try th ings just to see if you like it once you have it The way I started defining what truly resonates with my inner core is that I started with writing down the things I knew that I liked and did not like. Simple things, and eventually not so simple things. In order to figure out who you are, sometimes you start (but not finish) by defining yourself by what you are not. Once you figure out your values, THEN, you can find the things outside yourself that match what is going in inside you. I have personally defined my purpose in life. It is to make a difference in people's lives, so that I can be immortal in the energy that I create in them. Basically, I want to leave the world a better place when I die, than the way it was when I first arrived. When it comes to quieting the inner turmoil you may be feeling in the course of your development, here is what I can tell you. All of your accomplishments to this date were NOT a waste of time. Although you may feel it was a waste, (and I perfectly understand how that can be, as I have been there), I am telling you right now, and once you start getting this part of your life (love life) under control, all that doubt, anger, rage, etc.... DISAPPEARS. Once you get your love life in order that is when you can once again appreciate your other accomplishments. I no longer regret my nights being alone and in pain, because it was the pain I needed, in order to motivate myself to move to this side of the canyon.
63 If you want a reason to push ahead, even when you do not feel like it, consider the pain you are in. In order to have picked up this book to begin with, that pain was your motivator, and that is the pain to move away from. It is the motivation to just try SOMETHING like the exercises in this book, instead of staying in the pain you are in. If you are still having trouble being motivated to see this part of your life through, I would suggest volunteering in a kid's hospital. It is the Patch-Adams exercise. You owe it to every kid out there dying of cancer who will never see puberty, to live your life to its' maximum potential. Or even worse, volunteer at an oldfolks home or a geriatrics hospital, and listen to these old dying people talk about the regrets of their missed lives. People at the end of their lives regret the things they did not do, MORE than the stupid things they did do. I watched my father be ill for 8 years, and finally watched him die. He never knew of my accomplishments in seduction. He will never know about my books, or anything of that nature. But watching him suffer made me realize that being of his blood, I might end up like him too. I want my kids to remember me for something other than my bodily suffering, just as I remember him for more than his suffering. Assuming I live long enough to have kids and have them watch me get old. I am much older now than my father was when he had kids, and I am in worse health. Please Remember This Dear Student The only last comment I can make is that you should not confuse the finished product with the process of development. It took me 2 1/2 years of development, study, trial and effort to get my first lay. After that, I blossomed...and still fucked up here and there. There is no point in comparing yourself to others who have completed their development Those strong characters did not always exist. They developed over time through lots of work, study, and willingness to put it into practice.
64 It WILL be the same for you. You just have to put in the work, and this book will guide you through it. How does this relate to being a man To be a man, means to know what the meaning in your life is. Doing this process will help you find that answer for yourself. A true man MUST face his death. Willingness to look at your own mortality is the ultimate symbol of courage. That is part of your j o b as a man. My last thoughts are that until you answer the questions I have raised below, you, like most people, will continue to trudge ahead thinking this next thing will be it, and will provide the answers. And you will keep doing so until you realize that the answers to who you are and what drives you will come from within you only. You are now part of an elite group of people: A person that will not settle for the status quo. A people that will not settle for what they are told to settle for. That is why you came to learn from this book. We know there is more, and we are working towards it
65 1-Write Y o u r Own Eulogy When I first wrote my own eulogy, it contained things in it, that looking back now, are utter nonsense and unrealistic. However, the exercise was a valuable one. Over the course of my development, I have gone back, and re-worked it. It should include all the things you have already done, that you want mentioned, and mention the things you are definitely planning to do. You ARE going to come back here and re-write this, but in order to do that, you FIRST have to write the initial draft. So here it is. In this space, write the initial draft of your eulogy.
66
2-Fill Out Your T o m b s t o n e Epitaph I personally find tombstones creepy. On forgotten graves, sometimes all that is left to mark that the person buried there actually was alive, are a name, dates of birth and death, and some scribbling called an Epitaph. A last comment about that person's life, forever sketched in stone. Sometimes it is a person's last words, or the motto lived by. So, let us get busy with this one. Write out your full name, seduction persona name, birth date, and the epitaph that will appear on your grave. Leave the date of death as unknown (Duh!).
67 3-Take A Walk In A Cemetery To Study The Grave Dates Did I mention I find tombstones creepy? Ok, in this one, there is nothing to write out, but it will require you to take some action. I want you to visit a cemetery or a mausoleum in your area. I prefer mausoleum as they are usually well l i t clean and indoors. Once you are there WALK AROUND. Take a good look at the gravestones there. Look at the names, the faces (some graves have pictures of the deceased) and the dates. What you are looking for is to see how many people you have already OUT LIVED at your age. Next, take a look at the people who died just slightly (1-15 years) older than you. Let it be a reminder of the fact, it may happen at any time. There is no guarantee you will live a long life. The most heart breaking graves are those of children, and those of young parents whose kids have left them pictures and letters taped to the graves. Life is a gift, and sometimes the only way to appreciate it, is to identify others for who it has already been taken away from. That is the point of this exercise. The next time you think you have got it bad in life, remember, you have the privilege to even be alive. So, get over yourself, and tell your sob story to the dead who cannot hear you. 4-What Your Three Friends Think A b o u t You Vs What You T h o u g h t They W o u l d Say. Again, in this one, there is nothing to write. Here is the exercise: Think of the three people that you think know you best, and ask them what they would say about you if you died. If you can predict it accurately, then it means you present yourself in a manner that is truthful. If what you think they would say is DIFFERENT from what they would actually say, the exercise has indicated for you that you really need to work on how you present yourself to others. It is a GREAT reality check when you find you are wrong on this one.
68
5-Conlemplate the movie of your life Ok, enough of the morbid stuff for a second. This is going to be a fun one. I want you to contemplate the movie of your life. Who would play you? What events from your life would be portrayed? Of those events, which ones have already happened, and which ones do you still have to live out? If it is a documentary about you, how would it be narrated, and by whom? There is a self-help philosophy that states, Act like someone is always watching. Although it does help keep temptation at bay, I find that attitude a little uncomfortable for my liking (I have a VIVID imagination). So, I like my version better of contemplating the movie of your life. Here are the lists I want you to fill o u t
Ten Potential Titles for the movie of your life 1-
234-
5678910Ten Soundtrack songs for the movie of your life *
1234-
5678910*(Note the song artists, and any modified lyrics inserted)
69
6-Ten Things You Want Said A b o u t You At Your Funeral Ok, back to the morbid stuff. This was the list I started with, and you have already read my answers. Now it is time for you to write out YOUR answers. Now, no cheating. You cannot simply substitute my answers for your own. I do NOT want clones of Frank B Kermit going around. That is not development. Even if we are alike in almost every way, there HAS to be something you want said at your funeral that would not be said at mine for me. Be a man, and be original. Now then, what are ten things you want said about you at your funeral?
12345678-
10-
70
7-Ten T h i n g s You Want To Be Remembered For This one is a little tougher. Having something said about you at your funeral, is different from what people will remember about you. This could be something about the principles you chose to live your life by. This could be something that you said to them, or based on a specific interaction with them, that you will be remembered for. In other cases, it could be something secret that you did; an act that people will remember, but not even know that you were behind it. Maybe you helped a homeless person get off the street for a winter weekend by giving them the money they needed, and the only person who will remember you is that one homeless person. Part of becoming a man is to be able to create those memories others will have of you, while you are still alive.
So then, what are the ten things you want to be remembered for?
12345c
78-
10-
71
8-Ten T h i n g s That Will Build Your Legacy This one is for all those over-achievers out there. You know who you are. This is an easy one for them, and can be excitingly motivational to get your achievement done in your life. What degrees have you earned? What awards have you been named to? Have you started a scholarship in your name? Do you have a foundation started up that you headed or a company or corporation that has done good deeds, that will exist beyond you? Maybe you had a career that affected many people's lives and have a plaque on a wall somewhere with your name on it. The idea here is to identify any RECORD of your being alive, and your accomplishments. Maybe you have a star on the walk of fame, or working to earn that Nobel Peace Prize. This is the list that will be your LEGACY. Your children could be a part of that too. (Whether you have one child or many children, it still only counts as one item on this list.) So, what ten things will build your legacy?
12345678-
10-
72
9-Ten Most Influential Books And Songs Of Your Life And Their Authors Sometimes, the art of finding oneself is to look outside yourself, and identify things in your environment that have an impact on you. For the purposes of this exercise I am going to focus on only two things: Books and Songs. By identifying what books and songs have influenced you the most, it gives an indication to things that are important to you. The reason I chose books and songs for this exercise, is that both these forms of art envelope THEMES (Express Core Ideas). By studying the themes of those art forms that most affect you, you are also identifying those things that your subconscious finds important, even if your conscious mind is as yet unaware of what you already respond to. So let us learn more about you.
Ten most influential books of your life (with authors)
1234-
5678910Ten most influential songs of your life (with authors)
1234-
56789-
10-
73
10-Ten People You Most Admire, Admire Them
And W h y You
Again, following the same trend as the last 2 lists, here we are going to focus on PEOPLE that you very much admire. Again, by identifying people that you admire the most, it gives an indication to things that are important to you. By studying who these people are and WHY you admire them, it will (hopefully) teach you what your subconscious finds important, even if your conscious mind is as yet aware of what you already respond to. These must be people that are real (living or dead) and cannot be fictional characters. They could be family members, friends, historical figures, or people you have read about. The issue for this exercise is to focus on what makes these people particularly admirable. You do not even have to like them, in order to admire something about them.
The ten people I most admire, and why, are:
12345c
78-
10-
74 11-Ten Base Life Principles That Are Important To You And W h y Are They Important In Your Opinion If you are wondering what mine were/are, you have been reading them in this chapter of the book. What are the principles that govern how you choose to live your life? What principle base philosophies do you hold to be true and self-evident? Why do these beliefs, principles or philosophies better your life? There is no way you will be able to answer this in just a one-page list. In fact, in time, you will have your own chapter written out listing the principles you have, as well as those you had, but that no longer fit your top ten list. For the purposes of this exercise, just write out the principle, and a one-line description so that YOU know what you are talking about for your future reference.
The ten life principles that are important to you and why they are important in your opinion:
12345678-
10-
75 12-Ten Beliefs You Should Change Have A b o u t How The World
Two of the best ways you can come across your personal list of ten is to watch the news, or study the law. Here we are not just looking at things you would want to personally change; this is about looking through a global perspective, and wanting to change the way people perceive reality. Are you an environmentalist? Do you want to fight injustice? What really makes your blood boil? What charitable causes do you sponsor? What diseases would you like to see cured? What government policies would you like to see enacted, or removed? What would you change in the law if you could? This list will change partly as you continue your development, because once you get to the level you are heading towards, the things that are important to you now, may not even be on your radar in the future. People change. The question is do you want the option to influence a changing future of CHOICE or one of limits? The ten beliefs you have about how the world should be variable, but for this moment in time your top ten are:
12345678-
10-
76
13-Ten T h i n g s You Would Love To Do To Make A Full Time Living That W o u l d Not Seem Like Work To You. I am sure you have tried to make a similar list to this one before. Any time you were trying to figure out what kind of a job you should apply for, or what school program you should attend, you have thought about this particular list; just perhaps not in this way. I think this one is pretty clear and self-explanatory. If you really have no idea about what kind of jobs or professions you would like, first you need to know who you are (that is what this book is designed to help you discover), and the other is to start asking around, and talk to people about their jobs and professions. One key thing to remember is to talk to people that both love and hate the same job. Find an accountant that loves his work, and one that hates it. Same job, but the different perspectives will give you what you need to know, before committing yourself to anyone profession. Good luck on this one, it is not as easy as it seems.
The ten things you would love to do to make a full time living that would not seem like work to you:
12345678-
10-
77 14- Ten A c t i o n s You A r e Currently Taking, Or A r e Going To Take This Year, That Will Make The Above Actually Happen In the end, it is all about taking action. In order to make any of your dreams come true, you MUST take action. Period. Before you fill out this list, go back and read EVERYTHING you wrote for this section so far. It is up to you to now figure out what actions you need to take this year in order to make much of what you have written (for your eulogy, tombstone, and those lists,) a reality. If you are stuck, use The Ultimate Brain Question, which I present earlier in this book. Be willing to do research if you need to in order to get the information you require to complete these actions. It is very important that you write out these actions. They are your GOALS for this year. So what actions (Goals) are you going to set for yourself this year that relate to the meaning of YOUR life?
12345678-
10-
78
Base Philosophy # 9 Sometimes Life Sucks I know this sounds discouraging, but actually, this belief is very empowering. By accepting that sometimes, your life will suck, and suck bad, it also presupposes that sometimes your life will NOT suck, and can actually be pleasant and amazingly awesome. The good parts, and the bad parts, all have time limits. Huge disappointments are in the future of those people that cannot handle life's rough patches. If a man EXPECTS his life and the people in it to be perfect, or cannot handle it when the slightest things go wrong, he ALWAYS comes across as a low value male. As a man, you cannot expect that because things are going good right now, that they always will. This line of thinking makes you lazy and complacent, and a man must be proactive to maintain whatever happiness he enjoys. By the same token, a man cannot just assume that because the period he is going through right now is a rough one, that his life will ALWAYS be rough. That creates apathy, and kills his motivation to take actions to fix whatever the problems in his life are. A man needs to be proactive. During a certain period in my life, my father became ill, and was ill for a period of 8 years. At some points during his illness he was recovering well, and experiencing good health. While other periods had him in a hospital bed for months at a time, with my family tending to him. It was not a pleasant time. Like all living things the time came when he passed away, and that chapter in my life ended with him. This all happened during some very critical points of my development. If I had assumed that the rest of my life, I would be in and out of hospitals, sitting by bed-sides and being an escort during ambulance rides, I never would have kept at my development like I did, and then I never would have reached the point where I am writing these books. As difficult as those times were, and they were bad, I also knew that like all things it would pass.
79
We have all had crummy jobs, abusive bosses, unfair teachers, and periods in our life where we just had to take it one day at a time, in order to just see it through. I have found that knowing that something as unpleasant as a bad period of my life would HAVE to end at some point makes the day-to-day tolerance of it, much easier to bear. The only things I can tell you are that, even when life does suck, and sometimes there is nothing you can do to control what happens to you, you are still in control of how you REACT to what happens to you. THAT is where you can still take action, and have a hand in turning things around. I could not control my father's health over those years, but I was in total control of how I budgeted my time, so that I continued my development. That is how I went from a Loser to a Seducer. There is no happy ending if it is all left solely to chance. Things do not "just work o u r , miracles do NOT happen without a hand. It takes proactive action on your part There was a cartoon Christmas TV special, that I saw as a child, entitled 'Twas the Night Before Christmas about a family of mice and a giant clock tower that was suppose to ring, in order to apologize to Santa Clause for a nasty letter sent to him by one of the mice children. However, days before Christmas the clock tower broke, and everyone prayed for a miracle, while the heroes of the story worked hard to make that miracle happen. In that TV special was a song about how: "Even a miracle needs a hano". This communicated to me that sometimes if you want really good things to happen, you cannot just hope and pray...you need to work for it too. The specific line in the song that still resonates with me. It is: "We'll do what's necessary, needs a hand". because even a miracle
DO WHAT'S NECESSARY is the key.
80
Author's Note: By the way, if you have not already guessed it, I hope to include this song in the movie of my life.
Watching professional wrestling has taught me a few things: Shit happens. Life Sucks. Life happens while you are busy making plans. Bad things happen to good people. Sometimes the bad guys do get away. Sometimes the good guys lose. Happy Endings are not guaranteed. Expecting that your life is going to be perfect, and that you will never lose, is nothing more than a recipe for disaster. Why does this happen to you? Well, why anyone? I like to consider it as life just testing me, and I always learn how to pass those tests. You STILL always have an option...the option to LEARN, so that your future does not have to suck as much as your past. Taking control of your life is about taking control of your future. The crap you go through today, is nothing more than the lesson that you will reflect back on tomorrow. We ALL have had bad things happen to us, some more than others. The question is what do we LEARN from it that helps us to build our futures? Hope for the best, prepare for the worst...and LEARN. How does this relate to being a man Part of being a man is to accept that sometimes life will suck. Your job as a man is to be able to handle that with grace, and still maintain your leadership. Yes, sometimes it sucks to be a man. You do not get any
days off.
81
Base Philosophy # 10 We were born to have sex Lastly, I present to you my answer for "Why are we here?". My answer is, we were born to have sex We were NOT born to die. (Born to die is a Fatalist theory). We were born to have sex. We were born to fuck. We were born to procreate. Author's Note: Bruce Springstein did a song entitled, "Baby we were born to run". When they do the movie of my life, I hope to get the rights to do a parody and sing it: "Lady, we were born to fuck." You are here because at some point, the sperm of your father fertilized an egg cell of your mother, and about nine months later you popped out, and got as screwed up by the system as the rest of us. That is why you are here. Growing up, I was subjected to a number of fatalists (some teachers, and some friends) that believed the only reason we were all born, was to die, as that seemed to be the only certainty and constant in everyone's life. For a short period in my teens, I even believed this to be true. As I got older, I challenged that belief, when I went on a spiritual quest to find a meaningful answer to "Why are we here?". As for that fatalist attitude, I now think it is bunk. If this were true, there would be no reason to better our lives, take care of our health, find a partner, love, or do ANYTHING really. In fact, anyone that believes that the ONLY reason people live is to die, would actually have already committed suicide if they actually and truly believed in their own bullshit. W h y waste time with life, if the whole point of it is death? Just get to the point.
82
Spiritual Quest Going on a spiritual quest to find the universal answer of "Why Are We Here?" is a lofty goal. It is not one that we will ever truly find the answer too. Until such a time as someone dies, and is actually able to come back and tell everybody what is out there, dispel all the myths, discredit all the frauds, and put it all in perspective, then the spiritual quest is unsolvable on a global or universal scale. What IS possible if to find your own answers to this question, and find the faith to believe in what YOU need to believe in order to function each day. That is the value of most religions, in that they TELL people what to think, so that the followers can function from day to day. They are able to do this because they have some comfort in the knowledge that in many ways their lives have already been planned for them. Through that, they have some sense of meaning for their existence. Spiritual Quests and Creative Avoidance This is directed specifically to all the low value males reading this (you should know who you are by now if you have read my other books). Spiritual quests are designed to help you cope and function day to day. Anything more than getting what you need to manage that is creative avoidance. If you are a low value male, your issue is your inability to connect with women, and THAT is what you need to be focusing o n . Focusing on "finding out that one BIG answer", when there simply is not the means available to find it, is a way to creatively avoid fixing the "seduction" part of your life. I can not tell you, dear reader, how many men, start up with a discussion about "Why are we here?", when they are faced with the fact they need to take ACTION to solve their Inner Game. Rather than face their anxiety, they decide that NOW is a good time to do a spiritual quest...just to find out if this "learning seduction" is what they really want. Yeeeesh! This is why I have included this belief as one of my main ten.
83
My advice to you is that if you are truly intrigued by the concept of a spiritual journey; to go beyond finding the faith that you need in order to function day to day, and then you have two options. The first is to alter the course of your life, and make that journey your life's passion. Perhaps become a PhD academic in your chosen field, or live the life of a spiritual philosopher. At least then, it is a respectable life choice, and not just a form of creative avoidance. The second option is to get the rest of your life together, including your love life, and once you get the rest of it into place (within reason of course), AND THEN by all means, delve into the study of your spiritual question as an addendum to your complete life. At least then, it is a respectable healthy interest, and not some form of created distraction from improving the areas of your life that are causing you pain.
What Do I Believe? There are times I believe in Heaven and Hell. There are times I believe in reincarnation. There are times when I believe in some kind of after life of ghosts, spirits, dimensions, different plains of existence, and such...and there are times when I believe that once you are dead, that's it, and nothing exists beyond the rotting tissue. Why do I go through all this? Because in truth, I firmly believe it does not matter. What I do believe is that I exist for a reason, and do not know what that reason is. Chances are, I will never know any other reason than my father's sperm fertilized my mother's egg cell. That is OK. It is pointless to try to find a final concrete answer to something that is beyond our scope of answering. What I do know for sure is that I AM here, and while I am here, it is best that I behave in a manner for my longterm success, and not my short-term gains. In that regard, it is better to be as good and honest as you can, instead of being dishonest and bad. Not simple to do, yet is it simplistic? Yes. But it works. Follow that belief, and you do not need religion if you choose not to.
84 Sex Is HEALING There is no greater stabilizer or healing agent for men than good steady sex. Think of every guy that you know that has serious problems, and maybe he is even always sad and depressed...chances are, he is not getting the sex he wants on a regular basis. It is easier for all men to keep life in the right perspective when they are getting good steady sex. As a mentor of mine once said, " Life is good when a woman keeps a man's belly fully, and his testicles empty." Frank B Kermit's rule is: the longer I go without sex, the lower my standards go UNTIL I get laid. The more sex I am getting, the higher my standards get to be. It is a self-punishment/reward system. Works for me, and maybe it could work for you. The sex (or lack there off) is about you, not about her. Root Of All Evil It is not Money...it is the LACK of Sex. You read me right In my philosophy, the LACK of SEX is the root of all evil. Think about it, and write me, to let me know your thoughts. (P.S. I am right;) Watch The Birdie Well, not just birds, but all animals. I found my answer of, "We were born to have sex" by observing animals in real life, and through those nature TV shows. I was very intrigued at looking at the differences between humans and other animals, as we seem to be the only species that seems to have a concept of afterlife or higher-beings. Human beings are born, and as they grow up, must learn language, be raised with some form of spirituality, develop and work with construction and technology, are self aware, create and destroy, achieve all kinds of accolades that prove we existed, have traditions like funerals surrounding deaths, even marking the resting place of the remains of the dead, travel land, air, water, and even outer space and despite all of the advancement, are one of the only species that regularly kills its own kind.
85
Animals do not. Animals are born, and survive via basic needs (for example: food and protection from harm). They live and when the instincts h i t they procreate...and simply repeat this cycle of live and procreation until they die. Some animals die in the act of procreation. They live their lives, and when it comes time to procreate the males do so in frenzy. This is such that either the female may kill them (e.g. male black widow spiders) or like a certain type of field mouse, have sex for 12 straight hours, until the males die of a heart attack. Some insects have the life span of only a few weeks, while other animals like reptiles, may live longer than some humans. Their one unifying desire when they are alive, is the need to procreate. Even insects that live for only 3 days and amphibians, like underground frogs, which only surface during short weekend-long rainy periods...ALL MAKE THE TIME TO PROCREATE. Why? Why do animals that have nothing else going for them (no phones, no lights, no motor cars, not a single luxury) STILL go after sex? I believe it is because, unlike many humans, these creatures KNOW THEIR PRIORITIES. They were born to survive and MULTIPLE. And multiple means they were born to have SEX. Period. Both animals and human have the instincts to be inclined to have sex. Humans are sometimes just a little too dumb to follow
through.
You are here because two people decided to fuck. Now, do you know why you are here? Well by now you should be able to guess what you were born to do here before you die. Do you really need a hint? If you said out loud, "/ was born to have sex!", you are absolutely right bucko.
86 How does this relate to being a man This philosophy is at the heart of men being able to accept full responsibility for their sexuality and for the sex in a relationship. If you have read my other books, you know how important for women this aspect is to the emotional need of total male dominance. In addition to that, this belief factors in to a man's willingness to accept his sexuality when battling the anxiety he may feel in approaching new women he does not yet know. Specifically, it is this belief that FORCES a man to FIND A SEDUCTION ANGLE in meeting women when he wants to approach a girl, and there does not seem to be a direct opportunity for an approach. Part of developing and having a strong inner game philosophy, is to develop the ability to take a situation where there is no obvious or apparent angle to connect with a woman, and then to CREATE your own angle into the situation, which suits your needs and fits in with your persona. That process may include just assuming that the girl WOULD like you IF she got to know you, or assuming that she already does like you, but has not met you yet, and to act accordingly. The belief is either: 1) She already likes you so just have to introduce yourself
Of
2) She wants you to introduce yourself to verify that she already likes you.
Why should you believe this as a man? Because damn it, what else is there? Ladies and Gentlemen, we were b o m to FUCK.
Chapter 2 The 10 Rules of Relationships
88 Introduction All relationships have rules. These rules, what I call my relationship rules, are about the philosophy underneath what most other rules are based on. Over the last ten years I have been to hell and back. I have gone from Loser to Seducer, and in the process have analyzed relationships from every angle. I have read countless books, studied hundreds of CD, video and DVD products, and have written my own books on the subject. I have also gone into the real world and put my theories into practice, and have had a number of relationships, under all kinds of rules. I have been a swinger, BDSM master, polyamory with open relationships, monogamous, managed a harem of lovers, and met women through a variety of ways including through social circles, the internet, and speeddating. I now council men on their relationships with women as well.
I have taken part in healthy and unhealthy relationships, and studied the relationships of others. I paid attention to what actually worked, and never paid attention to what people said worked. Turns out that there is a big difference between what people want to believe they respond to, and what people actually respond to. It is on all of this experience and personal research that I based my Rules of Relationships. I had reached a point in my life where I had gotten fed up of being in poor relationships, one after the other. I was either going to figure this out once and for all and change myself if I had too (and I did both), or I was going to die. (Lucky for you dear student, I did not die, and continued to live long enough to write you this
book.)
Enclosed in this chapter are my top ten rules of relationships. There are not the only rules I follow, but they are some of the more important ones. I sincerely hope that adopting these rules for yourself will enable you to have the same successful changes in life that I have enjoyed. They have served me very well.
89 You might find that some of these rules will not suit you, and that you have other rules you would rather em ploy...by all means do it. My goal in this is to help you where you need help, and not to help you in areas you do not want it. If you do have rules that work better for you, than the ones I present, I would love to hear from you, and learn from you as well. How does this relate to being a man Every man has his own rules of relationships. By using mine as an example, you will be able to design your own. You are a man, and designing your own rules for relationships is your job. Just make sure your rules are realistic, and that they work in the real world.
So without further ado, here are: The Frank B Kermit Top Ten Rules of Relationships 1-There is always a leader 2-CommitmentTo Commitment 3-Men And Women are Different 4-lgnore Intellectual Constructs 5-How she treats you is the MOST important thing 6-Better to be Respected than Liked 7-Pick and Choose Your Fights 8-Set the Boundaries Very Early 9-Beware your Mentors 10-Nobody's Got It Figured Out
90 Rule of Relationships # 1 There is ALWAYS a Leader In every relationship there is a partner that is more dominant and a partner that is more submissive. If you do not know who the submissive partner is; you ARE the submissive partner. It does not matter if you are heterosexual (male-female), homosexual (male-male or female-female), and asexual or Tran gendered. In every relationship, including those involving three people or more, there are always submissives and at least one dominant. Group relationships, even just sexual threesomes are difficult to maintain with more than one dominant personality. One person always loves the other person more. One person always needs the other person more. One person is always more dependent on the other. One person is always giving to the other person more. One person is always taking from the other person more. One person always fears abandonment from the other person more. One person shoulders the burden of the responsibility of the relationship more. One person is always more freed of the responsibilities of the relationship more. One person always has more choice of potential other partners than the other. One person needs and asks the advice and guidance of the other. In every relationship there is a leader and a follower. There is a top and there is a bottom. There is a Master and there is a Slave. There is a God, and there is a worshipper. There is a man, and there is a woman. The more dominant person is the one that carries the responsibility to lead the relationship. The dominant may not enjoy the full emotional range that a relationship has to offer. The submissive does not lead the relationship, thus does not burden the responsibility. The submissive get to enjoy all the emotional range that a relationship has to offer. The dominant person cannot share too many of his problems with the submissive. If you are a man AND you do not want to be submissive to a dominant female then your gender and sexual orientation FORCE you to enter the
91 dominant role, otherwise you risk being abandoned by the very woman that you will over-cherish. Get it? If you were b o m with balls, it is your job to be the "Man". I have quite a bit of experience in alternative community lifestyles, and the one thing I can tell you is that those women that are dominant, who seek out a number of submissive males, absolutely love and are attracted to dominate males that are even more dominate than the women themselves. No dominant female can ever be faithful to a submissive male, nor will she ever choose him over a dominant male. In relationships, submissive males struggle to find a dominant female to choose him and must hope she does. A dominant male can ALWAYS find a female willing to be more submissive to him. It's OK for a man to enjoy the romance, BUT it is not OK for the man to get LOST in romance. Giving up emotional control is for the one that ends up being the submissive. The other person MUST become dominant by default When the man gets lost in the emotion, the woman will alter herself to compensate for the balance, and that is when she starts to resent the responsibility. There has to be a balance for you to find where you can get the maximum enjoyment from the romance WITHOUT losing emotional control. Leadership: It's a Lonely Life This was an interesting dichotomy for me. The ability to attract many women, where a man does not have to be alone without women, is also a very lonely
life.
As a loser, a guy could hope for and if he was lucky, find a woman to be his partner, his confidant, and something of his mother. He could confide in her, tell her his troubles, and know that she would not think less of him. At least that is what a loser, and even some averages guys, believe. A high value man knows better.
92
A high value man knows that the last thing the women in his life want to hear is his whining about what troubles him, his insecurities, his phobias, and his frustrations. A high value man, who has been the "other man" enough times to know that women will instinctively and willingly take on a more motherly role, BUT that same behavior that she is so accepting of, is also simultaneously killing her attraction to her male partner. So the high value man does not get to vent. He does not get to talk about his feelings. He does not get to share his problems. He does not get to find emotional support in the arms of his primary partner. Because he knows that if he starts to do that, it is the start of the end of his leadership of the relationship. With that, either she will become unfaithful, or the relationship will deteriorate completely. So the high value male resorts to having a female lover on the side that WILL be a part mother to him. Sometimes he pays for it, other times she is willing to accommodate just long enough to potentially steal him away from his primary woman. If she succeeds, she will also change and want him to act like a man. THAT is why most relationships that starts out, as affairs do not work out. Such is the value of mainly (but not entirely) monogamous relationships, where both the high value male, and his primary female partner take on female lovers to join them in regular threesomes. More of his emotional needs are met, and she is reminded not to take him for granted, and is still relieved of being there
for him.
The high value male must then either take confidence in male friends that he trusts will not stab him in the back and fuck his primary partner, or he must go deep within himself, and resolve as much as he can on his own. All that pussy...and still...STILL it's a lonely life. It is a wonder any of us bother to ever get married.
93
That is the price to pay for leading the relationship. Low value males are ill equipped with the readiness to be leading the relationship on a constant basis. They are surprised to find that needing to lead all the time is EXACTLY what it is going to be like, assuming he wants to retain power in the relationship. For all the men reading this who are getting discouraged, let me put it to you another way: Is there ever a time that you go into work and get lazy? What would happen? If you are the boss, can you be lazy when your employees get lazy? What would happen? Seems like it is common sense, but what makes you think that it is different in relationships with women? Can you expect to keep your grades high if you slack off later in the program? No. This is one of the reasons I take the motto of: You are a Man, and this is Your Job. Think about your relationship as you would your job. You do not really get all that much slack off time. You may not have the relationship experience to understand this. You may not have the pain of planning to build your life with someone, and then because you followed through on what she said she wanted from you (more of a sensitive emotional side), you were abandoned by her. You may not have had the pain of having her cheat on you, or both. But those that have been down that road can attest to it. If you do it, you must do it right, and then do it forever. The good news is that once you internalize these learning, you will not have to consciously think it through. It will "just happen". A person that wants to be with women, really want to be with women, will learn and calibrate to get the results they want. For those that do not learn, it is possible that they may have internal issues such that THEY DONT WANT A RELATIONSHIP at deeper levels.
94 Can a man really be happy and enjoy life with women if he's always thinking about having to lead? Well, in the philosophy of a seducer, a man MUST lead. Can a man truly be happy not leading, and taking on the role of the woman in the relationship? Well, I doubt it, as if you were happy with that, you would not be reading this book. I can tell you from the women that I have dated, both single and married, they would rather be with a man that leads than be with a man that does not How does this relate to being a man You are a man. It is your j o b to be the leader. It is also your job to know the price of leadership, and the price of not taking the lead. Only you can decide if you think it is worth it. Then, whatever you decide, you still have to take the lead. You are a man, and it is your job.
95 Rule of Relationships # 2 Commitment To Commitment After all of my development experiences, after all of the traditional monogamous and alternative swinger and polyamourous lifestyles I experimented with, attempted, got hurt with, screwed up, been betrayed, and even enjoyed,(and when I enjoyed, BOY DID I ENJOY) I came down to one underlying factor as to what makes some relationships work, and other relationships fail. The answer was closer to home than I ever could have realized if I had not ventured and challenged myself. It is not your c o m m i t m e n t to another person that will determine the life of your relationship. It is your commitment to the commitment of the relationship. Author's Note: This of course does not take into account relationships that break up due to one or both partners being mentally ill, or diseased in some fashion that would prevent their capacity to the concept of commitment. I base this in part to observing my own parents who grew up together as children. They started to date officially at age 11 and 13, were separated due to different immigrations to Canada for 3 years! When reunited at age 17 and 19, they were immediately married. My father passed away at the age of 68, still married to my mother age 66, until death did they part. They fought every day; they sometimes really got on each other's nerves (and those of us related to them), but divorce for them was never even an option. Why? They may not have liked each other all the time, and maybe they were not happy all the time, BUT they were undyingly committed to their relationship together. I did not say they were committed to each other, although I am sure (hey I am their son, so I hope anyway) that there was some level of personal commitment there. What I do believe is that their commitment to building a relationship that would raise a Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com
96 family, was the fabric that filled in when their attitudes towards each other were less than perfect. I did not say we, as humans are not dysfunctional. To some extent, I think every family has some level of dysfunction (oh, except your family right dear student?). That is part of what makes us human. Stay away from seeking the perfect relationship, there is no such thing. Be a man, and know that when you do seek a relationship, make sure you structure your relationship with a woman that is as committed to the relationship as you are. Commitment to your woman is different from the commitment to your relationship with her. It is the: Difference between doing s o m e t h i n g for her ... and doing something for the relationship. Commitment to each other is great, but we are humans, and sometimes our commitment to each other can waver, but our commitment to a relationship is a commitment to something intangible. Ironically, I believe that one of our strengths as human beings is that that we can be totally loyal to an intangible ideology more so than another human being. Other human beings can occasionally piss us off, but an ideology held dearly is above our human frailties. I think that is why some people feel justified in leaving their partners despite being in self-confessed good relationships, and other people remain totally together even in the face of being in the worst possible relationships. Commitment to an ideology is a powerful thing.
How does this relate to being a man A man is only as good as his word. His word is his commitment. Being committed to commitment is a habit to form through practice. You're a man, and that's your job.
97 Rule of Relationships # 3 Men and W o m e n are Different Author's Note: I have already gone over some of the differences between men and women in my other book Everything Out of Her Mouth is a Test. At the time, I only wanted to cover what I thought was directly related to that book. As such, in this book, I will only include information here that is directly relative to the topic of men's inner game. The differences between men and women could fill volumes and volumes of works, so keep that in mind as I try to condense what you need in this short portion of a chapter. This is one of the biggest Rules of Relationships that a man must adhere to when putting his inner game together for pick up, seduction or relationship management. Rather than working to understand how men and women are different, many men, and especially those that find they having trouble relating to women make one of two fatal relationship errors. They either: 1- Expect that women should act and react like men; and that expectation is at the core of these men's constant DISAPPOINTMENT in women. 2Know that men and women are different, but accept that men are forever unable to figure out, nor predict, a woman's way of thinking.
These are wrong on both counts. Firstly, men and women are not the same. As human beings both genders deserve equal rights under the law, but men and women are not equal. They communicate and process information differently. One is not better than the other; they are simply different, and a seducer MUST acknowledge this to become a man. Secondly, once a man acknowledges that men and women are different, he must be willing to learn HOW men and women are different. Many men understand that men and women are different, but take the fatalist attitude that men will simply NEVER
98 understand women. The seducer makes it a point to understand, but not necessarily agree with the way women are different from men. One of the biggest mistakes that the men of current generations make, is to assume that because women have equal rights under the law, that he must treat her as if she were a man. She is not a man. It is the man that will treat her like a woman that will get to be with her sexually. In this portion of the chapter, I am going to cover some of the more relevant ways that men and women are different, as they relate to a man getting his inner game together. These include men and women as they concern Love, Drama, Biological Reproduction, Gender Realities, and finally the beliefs a man should have for himself on both what it means to be a woman, and what it means to be a man. You're a Man. That's Your Job This section is about understanding how men and women are different. You will need these lists and writing exercises in the upcoming parts of the book. Stick with it, and do it. You are a man, and this is your job. Love Love...what a topic. The emotion of "love" can be a destructive emotion for men. Men are goal oriented, thus men will make "love" the "goal". We took a emotion like love, and applied it to our way of processing info. With love as our goal, it makes us into weaker men, because the THREAT of losing love (Fear of Abandonment) is a big part of what makes some men low value. A man does not get the luxury to have the emotional need of fear of abandonment. Romantic love is a female freedom that men, (who are not consciously aware of the differences between the genders) simply cannot afford. For this reason, when men start to develop feelings for a woman, some men repel the woman. It is a form of self-sabotage
99 that is distinctly designed as it keeps him from the lack of control that love brings on in him. It is an action and method to take for survival. An entire generation of men have fallen victim to being encouraged to let their emotions out of control due to the movement to feminize men. Now, these men are completely emotionally handicapped as they turn women off, for being too much like the women. These men are not enough like the men that these women would be attracted to. Love is a drug, and like any drug, there are side effects, addictions and it can cause great pains. Great thing that: love. Love is not bad, but men have been known to accept poor behavior from women all in the name of love. It is not acceptable for men to act weak from love. It is ok for women. Yes it is a double standard, but that's the way it is. Deal with it. A man who acts all goofy for finding love is considered weak. A woman acting goofy for finding love is praised. Love is a man's business. Love is a woman's life. Love must NEVER be a man's life; and women resent when they have to make it their business. Business means having to work at it. Another interesting thing I noticed is that oftentimes, a woman wants to like the man she loves but a man must learn to love the woman he likes. For people ill-equipped at making love work, I present: Love is that to which we spend our lives being miserable waiting to experience, only so that we can be miserable because we have experienced it. For a man, getting into relationships it is more about allowing you to learn about yourself, and who you are. A man must be open to the lesson. Maybe THAT alone makes it worth it to get into relationships. For a man, love is something to manage, or else it will automatically manage you against yourself. You are a man. Yes, finding love and connection is important, and it is OK for that to be important to you. Nothing wrong with that...BUT, it must never be THE most important thing. Having that kind of love and connection is what is most important for a woman. For her, how a man makes her feel is the most important
100
thing. The most important thing for a man is supporting his LIFESTYLE. Actually, this is one of the emotional needs of men. Once you know who you are, and can identify the lifestyle you want, your job as a man (to yourself) is to find a woman that meets your requirements. Get it? Drama Drama (Emotional Range) is one of the emotional needs of women. For men, this drama is an energy-draining nuisance. The man addicted to drama is the man that will end up ALONE. Some guys enjoy it, i f s fun for them, and they feel like they are on a roller costar, experiencing lots of feelings. It also makes sex more intense. They get off on the drama. However, it IS Beta. Weak. She is probably cheating on him. A woman needs the drama, but a guy that needs the drama and enjoys it is deemed lower value. You are a man. You do not get to "enjoy" any drama. You need to be above it. Once you start being with lots of women, believe me, you will be enjoying your emotional need of QUIET RECHARGE TIME, more than any sexintensifying drama. Biological Reproduction All the advances in law, and all the equal rights talks will not change this one particular aspect. Modern science medicine might affect it (birth control pill), but it is the one big difference, if not THE biggest difference between men and women. They each have a different and separate role in the biological reproduction of our species. Those different roles in the procreation process have affected the way they live day to day. Women have PMS, menstruation cycles, cramps, and when they finally do get pregnant, the pregnancy and birthing process takes an incredible toll on their bodies. Some die in the process, others have scars and body changes that remain. From puberty to menopause, women have a limited number of egg cells, a limited number of times they can get pregnant, and are limited in the amount of comfort they feel within their own
101
bodies on a monthly basis. Some women never experience orgasm, as it is not a necessary element in the procreation process. Men do not go through the birthing process. From puberty to death, as long as he remains in decent health, he can produce enough sperm to re-populate the entire world with every ejaculation. A man gets to orgasm each time he ejaculates. He is unlimited for the number of children that he can father. I truly feel sad for some women in this regard. A man can wake up one day at age 50, and if he has the means, he can decide to have his own children at any point, on almost any given day. A woman however, has that time limit and I have met so many of these particular women that remain childless in lousy relationships, only to wake up one day and decide they actually wanted a family, but their bodies have become too old and infertile to produce their own genetic children. I think this is why some men really procrastinate in their development. They have more time than the average women. If you are a woman, and you are reading this, and you are in a situation where you withhold from having kids because you have not found some idealized perfect husband, but you really want kids, I beg you and I implore you, to please get out of that situation and make efforts to find someone reasonably good, who will be a good father to your kids. You simply do not have the time to wait for Prince Charming, life is not a fairy tale, and you are getting older...you needn't be alone without a family, if what you want is the opposite. Gender Realities Men and women have different perceptions of reality. They live differently, and thus are conditioned for different responses. A woman feels the pressure to be the prettiest girl around, and feels threatened by beautiful, and younger women, anywhere in the world. She feels she is in competition with all women in the media, in her city,
102
across the country, and all around the world because she competes for ATTENTION. A man feels the pressure to only be the highest value man in his immediate area. He does not care about other men around the world. That takes too much work and worry. He is only concerned with his immediate competition because he competes for SEX. When a woman is horny, it is not always enough for her to have sex. Depending on the woman, she may have a number of emotional needs that need to be satisfied before she can enjoy sex, even if she is already turned on. When a man is horny, he is ready to fuck. He does not need all of his emotional needs met, as sex IS an emotional need. As a man, when something is offered like, "Join me in going to X", a man knows he should pay his own way or at least contribute, even if he is being invited. As a woman, when something is offered like, "Join me in going to X", a woman is conditioned to have her way paid by someone else UNLESS it is stated upfront, or implied, that is not the case. When a man breaks up from a relationship, he must go out and immediately get sex from as many other women as possible. He must make the effort, because if the relationship break up is still fresh, he still has some of that relationship energy with him. The longer he waits, the more needy energy may develop in him. Since it is his job to do the approaching, he needs to move fast, before letting depression de-motivate him. A man needs the sex to be steady for his emotional healing to occur. When a woman breaks up from a relationship, she needs to wait before getting back out there again. Women are on the receiving end of lots of sexual energy and attention. She gets approached regularly, and can get sex anytime she wants. However, it is her emotions that need to be fed, and sex will not feed her emotions as much as a break from sex with attention from her friends and the grieving process for the lost relationship. For women, sex is a lot more about giving than getting,
103
and having sex after a break up forces them to give too much, when they are in a position where they need to be given too. I often learn of women that go on a mad sexspree after a break up, and in the short run, these women feel empowered for a day or two. In the long run, these women end up hitting some major emotional backlash, and after a couple of weeks of horn-dog partying, these women tend to crash and burn themselves out, right into a depressive funk. I think these women are adopting coping methods that would work on men, but do not factor in the reality of how sexual experiences have different effects on the genders.
Women worry about not being attractive enough all the time, or putting all of her life into a relationship, and then being abandoned and ending up alone with no one to take care of her or her kids in spiritual, emotional, mental and physical ways. That fear makes some women stay in bad relationships, and makes others too afraid to even get into relationships. Men worry about choosing the wrong woman to marry, having her cheat on him, raising kids that are not his, which means ending up in divorce, total financial ruin and losing contact with the children who are his. In fact, the way the laws are written right now, a man may be financially liable for children that are not his even if he has full proof he was duped. That fear makes some men stay in bad relationships, and makes others too afraid to get into marriages or have children. Beliefs About Women What are your top ten beliefs about women, and or, what it means to be a woman? This is not going to be as easy as you think. In fact, this is probably the one list that WILL change as time goes o n . Most guys start off with what they HOPE women are like. Then that changes to lots of things guys believe that comes from a place of hatred, as they realize that women are not what they'd hoped women to be. Then after getting enough experience as to what works and what does not work to help these men get to be with women, the list is a reflect
104
as to what they really believe what women are. You will end up having way more than 10 beliefs about women, but for the purposes of this writing exercise, you only need your first ten. After you write out your list, I am going to do something here for you. I am going to give you some of the beliefs off MY list from about 2 years into my development. Some have changed such that I have omitted them. Others still hold true for me. The rest were good as steps in belief development, but do not represent my thoughts now. The most important thing is for you to be as honest as possible. It is the only way to break from illusions and get to the truth. If you want an indication as to what my beliefs are now, you can find them in all in the teachings of my books. So, do you believe that women are sugar and spice and everything nice? Are women unfulfilled unless they have children? Are women less horny, just as horny, or hornier than men? Are women all easy, or sluts, or bitches, or...? Are women nice? Are women better at raising children than men? Do woman make better schoolteachers? Is every woman looking for a husband? Is everything out of her mouth a test? Write out the first 10 solid beliefs you have about women that come to your mind. Your beliefs about women are:
1.
2.
3. 4.
5.
105
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
Here are my beliefs about women from the twoyear point of my own development as a seducer-intraining. Do not take these as fact or rules. They W E R E my beliefs then, and only some of them apply for me now. 1. Women are Emotional Justifiers. All of a woman's actions are based on the emotional justifications she makes to herself. Whether or not a woman will have sex with you, marry you, just be friends with you, cheat on you, cheat on her significant other with you, be faithful to you, stalk you, interfere with your life, attempt to change you, change for you, help you, hurt you or love you is all based on her ability to emotional (not rationally) justify her actions to herself. Women do not lie to men; they emotional rationalize to themselves that not telling the truth is actually the truth. They believe their own bullshit 2. Women will only be as honest as she assumes a man can handle it. 3. Women enjoy sex way more than men. They have the capacity too. Women want sex...period. They want sex just as much as men, and I think more so because they enjoy sex more than we do. If the right guy comes along, they are aH ready for sex; you just have to present yourself as that right guy. Right for now, and right now.
106
4. Women are incapable of giving men good advice on dating women...it is against nature's programming for women to advise beta males to procreate. She automatically categorizes any man that asks a woman for dating advice as being a beta male. 5. Women have "practice" guys for sex, for relationships or both. It's so that she doesnt have to deal with the pressures of having a boyfriend, but can get the sex and relationship experience she wants. 6. Women resent responsibility; so it's the guy's fault. 7. If you tell a woman that you are sexually less experienced than her, or than her original impression of you, she will break it off with you, but use some other excuse. 8. Women think in terms of categories. What category of her brain have you been placed in? Are you the practice guy, the friend, provider, lover, seducer, player, affair guy, husband, or the guy that does not count? Categories are rigid and it is difficult to move into a new category (lover) if she categorized you already (as a
friend).
9. Women are all sluts, EVEN your mother and your sister. Deal with it. 10. Women follow the "does not count" rule. This means there are certain guys that she will have sex with, but they simply do not count as actually lovers when she counts out the number of people she has been with. These include: practice guys, gay guys who want to see what it is like with them, ex-lovers when cheating on their current relationships, and guys that have no interest in threatening their current relationships. This also includes when she cheats on her boyfriend to be with a married couple for a threesome, or if she works as a prostitute. Also, sex without penile penetration does not count either. (No risk of pregnancy = not really sex). 1 1 . Women and men are different
107
12. Women are likely to go out of their way to make men angry to get to the truth, as women assume that only in a fit of anger, can a man be REALLY honest with her. 13. Women use men for attention and material goods. (The Emotional Cookie Man theory) 14. Women constantly test men. mouth is a test. Everything out of her
15. Women tend to back-rationalize their actions. The most common back-rationalizations are, "it just happened" or "it was meant to happen that way". This helps absolve them of any responsibility, or fuels their need to believe that they did not manipulate a situation to attract a man. Also it helps women to feel good about something they assume they maybe should feel shameful about. For example: if a man refuses to have sex with a woman because he actually wants to wait until the third date (yes, there are some guys like that), but he does not verbalize it, she may very well likely back-rationalize that she should not ever sleep with him, or really make him wait for it even longer than 3 dates. In my opinion a woman will back-rationalize EVERYTHING when it comes to sex, or the lack thereof. 16. Every woman fantasizes about being desired for her body. This includes posing for pictures and magazines, becoming a stripper or porn star, or even a hooker. Because of this, it is very easy for a man to get a woman to try all sorts of adventures. If you don't, someone else will, and chances are, already has. If she meets a man that addresses certain emotional needs of hers, she will live out her fantasies with him. 17. Women have three levels of communication. third level is an emotional need. The
18. A woman shall either be your mother or your lover but she cannot be both. 19. Women are afraid of being killed by men, as men are afraid of being ridiculed by women.
108
20. Women will leave stuff at your house as a way of marking her territory for other potential women to find. 2 1 . Women are ALL damaged goods. In some way, shape or form, she is damaged. The key is to find out in what ways she is damaged. If you are comfortable with how she is damaged, stick with her. If you will not deal with her damaged parts, move on ASAP. 22. Regardless of what women say, a sense of Humor is NOT the most important thing. If all a man does is make a woman laugh, without attracting her through skill or by accident, he will not get laid. 23. Women seek pity as a form of control. When a man starts making excuses for a woman's bad behavior, she has succeeded in controlling him. A good example is when a woman gets a guy to feel pity for her based on the way she says her boyfriend (who is fucking her nightly) is treating her. Oh Please! In that case, it is EXACTLY that kind of behavior that she is attracted by and responds to, to begin with. That is exactly why he is fucking her right now, and not the nice guy. 24. Women may RESPOND to things (like bad treatment) even though they may not LIKE it (bad treatment). 25. If a woman is not satisfied sexually at home, she will see sex elsewhere. Women are always looking. 26. Women are not equal to men. As human beings both genders deserve equal treatment and equal rights under the law, but men and women are not equal. 27. Women just assume certain things about all men, which include: Men already know what they want Men have fragile egos Men are pigs Men already want to fuck her even if he actually does not
109
Everything out of his mouth has a purpose to tell her something about herself that she must figure out. A guy who isnt blatant about wanting sex is dishonest. A guy must really love her if he does NOT tolerate any her bullshit If she is attracted to you, then other women must definitely find you attractive as well If other women are attracted to you, then she should find a reason to be attracted to you.
Beliefs About Men What are your top ten beliefs about men, and or, what it means to be a man? This writing exercise is going to be your telling signs. This list, more than any other writing exercise is probably going to make you realize more about what you do right, wrong, and where you need to change. You will end up having way more than 10 beliefs about men...but for the purposes of this writing exercise, you only need your first ten. After you write out your list, I am going to do something here for you. I am going to give you some of the beliefs off of MY list from about 2 years into my development. Some have changed such that I have omitted them. Others still hold true for me. The rest were good as steps in belief development, but do not represent my thoughts now. The most important thing is for you to be as honest as possible. It is the only way to break from illusions and get to the truth. If you want an indication as to what my beliefs are now, you can find them in all in the teachings of my
books.
So, do you believe that men are dirty and disgusting creatures? Does a man need to have sex with a woman to feel fulfilled? Are men useless to women thanks to the invention of the vibrator? Are men all rapists? Are men the source for all the violence and destruction in the world? Are men better at math and science than women? Do men make better bosses? Is
110
every man looking for a wife? Does a man need to have children to prove his virility? Write out the first 10 solid beliefs you have about men that come to your mind. Your beliefs about men are:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
10.
Next are my beliefs about men from the twoyear point of my own development as a seducer-intraining. Do not take these as fact or rules. They WERE my beliefs then, and only some of them apply for me now.
111
1-A man must have rules (criteria) about what he will and won't accept from a woman 2-A man must let her know what the rules are 3-A man must be aware of what his base philosophies of life are and why he believes they are important 4-A man punishes bad behavior, rewards good behavior 5-A man creates a new memory as the best way to get over a bad memory. The new memory should be similar enough to the old one to evoke the old connections, but should have new positive elements to rid the bad memory of any power over his future actions. 6-A man would rather be respected more than liked. Whenever he has to make a choice that will make him less liked, but will still be respected that is the option he must take. 7-A man likes Sex. For a man, it is natural and good to like sex. I have counseled many guys that claim to have really high standards as the reason they do not get laid,(some of these guys are 25+ yr old virgins). I don't buy it for a second. Men love pussy. Men love sex with women. If your standards are so high, or higher than the level of social/seduction skills you have then you may be one of the three types of guys that cannot be helped. 8-A man is Proud of his attraction to women. One of the signs of a weak male is a guy who is afraid to admit his attraction for women. Usually it comes from the risk of looking like a desperate, lonely or over-horny guy. Dudes, we all suffer from that same fear. The only thing I can tell you is that is it not the action or the words, but the place it comes from. If you are still afraid to show your interest; do it anyways. Yes, ask her out, approach her, and until you learn to calibrate so that you can show interest without communicating the neediness, you MUST plow o n . Commit to the actions. It is a necessary part of change work.
112
9-A man learns to feel his emotion, but to CONTROL the behavior. The more you try to control, repress and kill the emotion, the more you will feel it, allowing it to get stronger, and then it intensifies. If you feel the emotion, your emotion is a part of you, (the real you after all), but control the behavior, you can acknowledge what it is you feel, but not let it control your actions. Easier said than done, but the long term benefits outweigh the short-term pain. For example: when feeling jealousy: the rule is, when you feel jealous, do not "act" on it. It's OK to feel the emotion, just control the behavior. This idea is very critical during your process into a seducer. During change work (and that is what you are doing), when you lack the motivating emotions, you must perform all the actions regardless. Most people wait for the motivating emotions to kick in, and then plan to take action (such as approaching her).... this route means that you may never change. HOWEVER, if you were to take the action, AS IF you had the motivating emotions (meaning you do it even if you really don't feel like it)...it will take some time, but the motivating emotions will kick in AFTER you take the action. When this process does not work in certain areas of your life, which means in some way you are emotionally damaged for that particular area. In those cases, consider seeing a professional for help, as the study of seduction may not be enough to help with this.
10-A man is never afforded the luxury to fear abandonment from women. A man must embrace the risk of abandonment least he becomes too needy for any one particular woman. Being a man means adopting a sort of Buddhist philosophy. Attachment is pain; therefore a man must remove all attachments. (I am paraphrasing here, but you get the idea). That applies to friendships too. You cannot be attached to any one particular woman (so you aren't fucked up by her rejections, tests, or drama), yet you still need to make her feel special. Sounds harsh, but I found this to be necessary. 11-Being a man means being able to handle the TRUTH to a woman's sexuality. In truth, how do you feel about a woman who is in touch with her sexuality? You have to answer yourself. Being a seducer means that you are
113
strong enough to handle her sexuality. In order to do that, you need to get very comfortable with your own sexuality. That takes time. 12-Being a man means being comfortable with your own sexuality. Learn to love the fact you have a penis. No joke. There are hidden demons in the sexual psyche of all males. How comfortable are you with yours? What sex acts are you willing to do, and not do? Are you sure? 13-A man is always wary of his own friends. (Especially at the early stages of his development.) A man does need friends, but you don't need any particular life long friends. Sometimes, the people you've known the longest are links to your past. Those "friends" could be holding you back. You need friends, but you won't die without them. 14-When it is time to fuck, a man MUST FUCK. 15-Being a man means handling the truth about YOU. I think this is a good development exercise for you. Good for self-awareness. Meet with people you can trust to be honest with you. Hang out with them, and then ask them to rate you. Ask them what first impression you give off (friendly, needy, scary, over the top) Ask them what gives that impression (do you smile, your clothes, e t c . . ) Ask them how you make them feel (good, bad, indifferent) Make sure the people you are asking understand the game and social value context. Make sure you are man enough to handle the TRUTH. That is what you are asking for, so make sure you can handle it no matter what is said. 16-A man must screen women for the way she treats him, and not just for what she looks like. If her looks outweigh how well she treats you on your priority scale, then your priorities as a man are seriously screwed up. 17-A man makes it clear that he is in charge, and leading the relationship. He must Never-Never-NeverNever-Never let a woman even assume she has the leadership role. You aren't being cunning if you let her think she is in charge, because you are going to be
114
perceived Beta in her eyes. The rule is: if she thinks she is in charge, she IS in charge. A friend of mine, named Rhett, once said that "if a man allows a woman to believe too strongly that she is the one in charge, no matter often he tells himself otherwise he will never avoid the gradual erosion of his power". I agree whole heartily. 18-Being a man means to know IT IS BETTER TO BEG FORGIVENESS THAN TO ASK PERMISSION. That is the motto to have with women and first kissing. Better to go for it than not. ALWAYS. You are a man. It is expected of you. Context. If you do not know if you should kiss her or not, a man does not always have the option to know for sure, nor should he wait for total permission. Sometimes, a man just has to go for it, and risk the consequences. 19- Being a man means that everything out of his mouth must have a purpose: Being a seducer means that everything you do has purpose and structure...a plan if you will. If all you do is whatever you are in the mood for, you are basically giving off the signal that you are a victim (weak) of your own mood (you follow and not lead). When you communicate, with a woman, you must do so with PURPOSE. Ask yourself, what is the purpose of this communication? What value about myself am I going to convey? Is what I am about to say going to present me in a poor image? What emotions do I want to evoke in her? 20-A man consistently addresses all 10 of a woman's emotional needs. Consistency is key. 21-A man has an obligation to lead at all times in the relationship. 22-Being a man is a willingness to take the hit. If you have ever been part of a team, wanted to maintain the peace in a family, ride through the tough times of certain friendships, or needed to hold on to a job under unsavory working conditions to support someone, then you must already know what it means to take the hit. Sometimes, it means that in a family squabble, you are
115
the only party that does not get an apology when you are wronged. Maybe once in a while you pick up the bill for an outing, and it is higher than usual. Other times, it means you physically take a hit for someone else. The main difference between a man, and a chump is that the man chooses to take the hit, and the chump always takes the hit. 23-A man is not afraid to piss off women just because they are women. 24-A man always finds the angle to turn a non-seductive encounter, into a seductive one. This is one of the most telling sign of a guy that has his inner game together. Take the most normal, everyday, non-seductive interaction between a man and a woman, and find an angle to make it seductive. The creativity in the moment requires knowledge of self and a willingness to take actions. If you can do this, you can then boast about your inner game. The game is ALWAYS on. 25-A man apologizes when he does something wrong. The error only requires an apology when it is an action that he intends not to repeat. It must be for something that in retrospect he would not do again. At that point a firm and direct, "I am sorry for ." In this case, saying sorry means taking responsibility for something that you genuinely feel remorse over. In the case of you not being sorry for what you did/said, but you want her to know that you empathize with her emotionally because she is unhappy with it, you CAN say that you are sorry FOR THE WAY SHE FEELS, but that you are NOT sorry for the issue in question. This makes her feel that you care about her (hopefully you actually do), but that you stand your ground, and stand by your actions, even if it upsets people. Finally, a man must NEVER BE SORRY FOR WHAT HE FEELS, even if it is unpopular. You have a right to the way you feel. Never be sorry for what you feel. That is not the part you control. NO! DO NOT EVER DO THAT. As long as you control your behaviors, you do not have to be sorry for the way you feel. 26-A man goes after what he wants, and knows his own emotional needs.
116
27-A man is wary of other men that want to be "friends" with his woman. Men and women cannot be friends. There is always a sexual element. Accepting all the male friends of your woman is like the lock-your-car theory. As much as you would trust your car alarm system, do you temp fate leaving your car door unlocked? I did not think so. As much as you trust a woman not to cheat on you, do you temp fate, letting your guard down? 28-A man defines for himself what it means to be Alpha, and makes efforts to live by that definition. What does being Alpha mean to you? Is Alpha a strong, brut-like person? A bully? Guys who act violent? What about meek men with lots of status and power? Guys who have money or natural good looks? Is being Alpha strong? Is being Alpha smart? Is being Alpha having a high-powered job? There is no "right" answer. There is only YOUR answer, for you. Now, complete the following writing exercise: Write out a paragraph as to what you define as Alpha. What is an Alpha Male? - Writing Exercise
117
Just so you have an example, here is my definition of Alpha that I follow. Frank B Kermit's Definition of Alpha: I have come to the conclusion that being ALPHA means being DECISIVE (the ability to make decision quickly and to act on those decisions). I do believe that women want to be relieved of any responsibility. Period. That is what they look for in a man. They want a guy that will either take the responsibility off their shoulders, or a guy they can blame for their own actions. It's never her fault and never her responsibility. As long as the man is in charge, she can feel more feminine. If she gets pissed off with you that you are calling the shots, she is only testing you to make sure that you are ALPHA (read: decisive) enough to have the power over her, so she doesnt have to think or worry.
This next writing exercise is your final writing exercise for this portion of the book. You will have to continue this on your own, as you further develop. This is to help you come to terms with how men and women are the same, and where they are different. Each time you come across something where men and women are either exactly the same, or very different for each category, write it out in this chart. You will have to write this out on your own. Start with all the beliefs about men and women you wrote out, and take it from there. The point of this writing exercise is to identify all those actions you take which are too feminine for you, so you can eliminate them, and figure out what you should be doing as a man, and knowing what actions to take.
118 The Man v s . W o m a n Starter Chart Woman Must be special Addresses all 10 of her emotional needs How he makes her feel Man Must be as soon as possible Addresses only 1 emotional need. How she treats him
Losing Virqinity Sex
Most important thing in a relationship Biological Intuitions Intimacy Biological clocks
Drama Social
Fear A polish proverb stated: Genitals
Instinct to mother is stronger than instinct for sex Use sex to get intimacy Have a limited number of times they can get pregnant from puberty to menopause (about 500 periods) Need an Emotional Range Build bonds through leveling status power Fear being killed by men Falls in love with her ears Have lactating breasts and a vagina
Instinct for sex is stronger than instinct to father Use Intimacy to get sex Can repopulate the planet with every orgasm, and pending good health, can regenerate daily from puberty to death. Need quiet recharge time - no drama Are leaders or loners
Fear being ridiculed by women falls in love with their eyes Have a penis
119 Rule of Relationships # 4 Ignore Intellectual Constructs What is An Intellectual Construct? An intellectual construct is an idealized statement, and sometimes becomes a belief for people; about the way things SHOULD be according to someone. These statements make for wonderful marketing, and can make people feel good. Sometimes, they are reassuring and give a perspective on the world that makes the listener feel anything is possible. Other times, they force restrictions which seem like a good idea or that they make sense. Unfortunately, intellectual constructs have the complete opposite effect in the long term. At the end, they set people up for a terrible fall, when the reality of a situation steps in. When managing your relationships, you MUST Ignore all intellectual constructs, and just deal with the reality of whatever the nature of your relationship will have. Otherwise, you are liable to impose impossible expectations on your partners, and yourself, and that will destroy whatever happiness you were able to build up. Here are some examples of intellectual constructs: Every Chapter is Equal to Another Chapter When I was writing term papers in college and university, I was always taught to be mindful of the length of my chapters and sections in each paper I wrote. It was considered a poor presentation if one chapter was 30-40 pages long, yet another chapter was only 5-6 pages. This is an intellectual construct. In reality, sometimes a chapter that is concise need only be 5-6 pages, and another chapter, which has to cover more ground to be thorough, must be 30-40 pages. However that intellectual construct forces shorter chapters to either be inflated with non-relevant information just to make it bigger, and/or have the larger chapters be edited for content and leaving out entire portions which could have been stimulating. Not reality,
120
but an intellectual construct about professors believed papers SHOULD be. how various
We Are All Born Equal - Everyone Is Capable This one covers two intellectual constructs. During my university years, I participated on a special project that lasted two summers. I was involved with an Arts Center whose mandate was working with special populations and using Theatre as a form of Drama Therapy to educate and help the special needs performers with various challenges. The special populations group of about 25 had an assortment of developmental challenges that included Autisms, physical handicaps and Downs-Syndrome. Working with the developmental^ challenged, I came to two conclusions: The first is that we are NOT all born equals. Although we are born with equal rights under the law, we are NOT all equal. I was working with adults my age, and older, who made me appreciate the gifts that I had been born with, like the ability to learn, speak, connect, and the potential for independence. These childlike people were a very caring group, but they were not born equal to (for lack of a better term) the average person. The second lesson learned is that NOT everyone is capable. I used to think that anyone could accomplish anything if they tried hard enough, and if they worked hard enough. I do not believe that anymore. Not everyone has the capacity to achieve levels of greatness on massive scales. Although I do believe each person has his or her particular potential, and each person has the capacity to reach his or her peak potentials, not everyone has the same capacity for the same level of peak potentials. If you have read my full works, you will notice that I never claim that everyone can do what I did. What I do claim is that I did it, and perhaps you can too. I also believe the people can put in the efforts for greatness, I just do not think everyone can succeed at everything. Whatever "it" is, not everyone can do "it". But everyone can do "something."
121
Happily Ever After Things do not always work out in the end. People do get sick and die. Sometimes, your life will suck (remember the base life philosophy?). Life is not a fairy tale. There is no guarantee that it is going to turn out the way you hope. No promises that everything is going to be all right. There is no such thing as a certain "Happily Ever After" for anybody. Even those people who WORK at making it happen still cannot be assured of a 100% success. That is life. In Relationships: Everything Has To Be Fair And Equal It just does not work. Having everything be fair and equal all the time is just not a reality. There are always going to be times when one person needs more from the other. Sometimes it is attention, sometimes one person is going to have to work at the relationship harder, and sometimes what each person contributes is going to be out of balance. Even if it is not, being imperfect human beings, it is bound to feel that way. Splitting each bill 50/50, dividing up the grocery shopping to tiny details about who pays for the chips for example, while maintaining very separate lives as well as joint lives totally equally and evenly, just does not work in real life. From month to month, week-to-week, even day-to-day, there are always shifts and balances. There is no "perfect divide". It seems like a good idea, but in reality, these idiosyncrasies become tiresome, and just a nuisance once the rest of your life steps in and complicates your perfect plans. Equity in all things in a relationship is an INTELLECTUAL CONSTRUCT based on the way some people think it "should" be, not on the way things actually are. Sexuality Can Be Denied Again, this one just does not work. People cannot deny their own sexuality. If a person is a homosexual, forcing themselves into heterosexual norms is just not going to work long term. People are attracted to the genders they are attracted to. A person can deny their urges for a time, but it is a lot harder to do
122 that on a "forever" basis. Bisexuals, who are married, at some point, are going to crave what their singulargender partner does not possess. Emotional love is not enough to quench physical wanting. The same ideology applies to men and women in the work place. To assume that just because a person is at work, they will ignore their sexual impulses is ridiculous. If a woman at work dresses suggestively, erotically, and puts her body on display, sending out sexual signals, and expects that the men in the office will simply not notice nor occasionally leer at her because it is not polite, is just stupid. Of course people are going to notice! Is a man suppose to really see a woman as his professional equal when she is flaunting her bra-less tits, under her flimsy blouse while making a business presentation? Should she really expect to be taken as seriously as a woman that focuses on the business, and not flashing her curves? On the other side of this, should office women be forced to pretend that they do not notice the rugged looking, muscular security guard with the tight butt, and be made to feel inferior to her coworkers because she cannot maintain a professional shut down of her attraction mechanisms? Get real people. The place that houses the most on-going extramarital affairs is still the work place. No amount of office rules and regulations is going to curb t h a t
This does not mean it is OK to act on sexual impulses in the work place, or other such environments. What I am saying is that you cannot simply reason away basic human conditions, just by stating that it is "not proper". I do not know what the solution is, but I am realistic about the challenge. It's All Common Sense No, it is not. There is no such thing as common sense. Common sense is based on commonly shared knowledge. Unless someone was exposed to that particular knowledge base, there is no commonality. Therefore, common sense does not exist. There is only Situated Knowledge. People have knowledge, which is dependant of their situation. Education programs are
123
different from place to place; local histories and dangers to beware off vary territory to territory. Different life experiences, growing up in different countries, and basic survival tools are not "common" from land to land. There can be no "common sense". There can only be common situated knowledge between people that shared a similar learning. That's it. Perfect Woman There is no such thing. Women are not the perfect creatures of la-la-land. A man must see a woman as human, and hold no animosity towards women, and accepts that women are human beings that have all the potential good and realistic faults that humans possess. Women are not two dimensional fictional character types, such as the perfect lady wife, and the dirty bedroom whore. The same woman is capable of a wide variety of emotions and actions as any other human beings, male and female. A man is aware of this and allows a woman to feel capable of experiencing with him all those facets of her personality, in a safe and accepting manner that will enrich her life, and his. Understanding a woman's emotional needs has helped me to understand women, and through understanding them better, I can appreciate them and not feel hate toward them. I just know that I cannot think of a woman like a man. They are not "better or worse than men", they are just different, and we as men need to be accepting and aware of tha if we are to succeed in relationships long term. Perfect Man There is no such thing. No matter how much development you do, no matter whom you study under, no matter if you do everything humanly possible, you are still going to be HUMAN, and that means being imperfect. Want proof? Look at the great modern seducers of our era. I mean the truly respectable and brilliant ones. They have lots of skills, but do not assume they are not as dysfunctional as any other guy on the
124
planet. We all backgrounds. have our personal demons and
Even the best seducer of all seducers is still just a human being, with all the faults and fragilities of a human being. Some of us seducers are great men, but not one of us is perfect. Feminism As An Intellectual Construct Many women here in North America are hurting thanks to some of the intellectual constructs of feminism. Feminism was created so that women would have equal rights under the law to keep them safe from violence. That was the good part that much, I fully agree. Where feminism betrayed women is it also pushed the intellectual constructs onto women about being able to have it all, and the women who listened and went for it all, now don't have all they wanted. Somewhere along the way, feminism confused the difference between having equal rights and being equals. Women were then expected to "act" like men, but it turns out that those years of feminism did not blank out the eons of evolution, and it turns out that these newly dominant females are not attracted to less dominant males. Even worse, feminism actually lowered the number of dominant males out there, turning many average dominant males into nice guys, and thus the pool for these women to find mates from has gotten even smaller. Then comes the PRESSURE feminism puts on women to be the MEGA-WOMAN. To be the artificiallyinseminated single mom, career woman, who lives out her dreams everyday, goes to the gym everyday to be beautiful for herself and her own reasons, and pursues enriching pastimes. Women should want more than to be a good stay at home mom, and any woman that does not want more should see herself as failing to live up to her full potential. Furthermore, no woman should ever settle for less than perfection from the man in her life, and she should hold out indefinitely for that absolute prince charming to be everything she ever dreamed off.
125
After all, to quote a famous feminist "women need a man, like a fish needs a bicycle!" What wonderful bunch of intellectual constructs these were for women! Women are now starting to realize that they like being feminine, and want to free from being made to feel guilty if being a good stay-at-home mom is what they want. Women are now starting to realize that as much as they do not need to depend on men for their own basic survival, they do in fact "need" men as much as men "need" women. Women are now drowning in their own rhetoric and loneliness. Maybe they could escape the flood by riding in that bike to higher ground? See it turns out that in reality there were after all only 24 hours in a day, and it is was hard enough for two people to complete all of those things that were now expected of only one woman. It turns out the reality is, a woman is a human being, with all the challenges every human being has. Also, it turns out that it is a reality that people, still like people even if they do not need people. Girl people, really like boy people, and that boy people really like the girl people, and that they really do "need" each other, even if they do not "need" each other.
The Sadness Of Women In Their Late 30s And 40s I know these women, I have dated these women, I have loved these women, and I even almost fathered a child for one of these women who wanted to be a single mom. The emptiness that exists there; it's an unquenchable anger. They bought into a system and it failed them. Just like a generation of men bought into the sensitization of their gender to the point they became feminized, and that system of being NICE turns out to NOT WORK, so too are women now going through the same thing. They believed in the system of being the power feminist, being the career girl, being the dominant female, only to find themselves alone, divorced and even sometimes childless. They did not factor in how much they would have wanted children with a decent guy, until they became too old and barren to even have kids of their own
126
The difference between men and women is that even if a man is 45 and still a virgin, he can still turn it around, and it is never too late for him to decide he wants to change his life, and even raise his own kids if he wants to. Physically speaking, a woman of 45 or older may simply not have that option if having her own biological children is her hearts desire. Intellectual Constructs and Assumptions One of the riches sources of Intellectual Constructs comes from the assumptions that people make on what relationships are suppose to be. This is based on what they think other people's relationships actually are like. The people that make the most assumptions or follow intellectual constructs either have the worst relationships or NO relationship experience. Everywhere we look, we see people around us in relationships and they seem to be happy. But the fact is actually, we D O N T know. What makes you think you are privileged to the inner workings of their relationship issues? You cannot base it on how they appear in public to you. How do you know about their sex problems, money problems, if someone is cheating, if they hate their in-laws, how they almost got divorced, or about their last miscarriage... see what I mean? When we see couples staying together, we cannot assume it if for the reasons we'd hope. Just because they stay together is no indication of being happy. We do this because we want to assume their staying together has to do with their being in great relationship. It makes it easier on us, but it may not be so. Until you have been with someone for a long period of time, and even have some sort of financial investment together (house, car, back accounts) you cannot even imagine the issues that keep people together even in the worst of cases. It is HARD to brake up and start over for the average person. Throw in some kids into the frame, and it can be devastating. Staying together can also be a matter of convenience, or a matter of maintaining lifestyle. Maybe that couple are both going to attend a
127
wedding next month, and breaking up now would just make that interaction more hurtful. IT IS COLD OUT THERE. As most people rely on LUCK to find a partner, giving up on a relationship, even a lousy one, is SCARY. How does this relate to being a man INTELLECTUAL CONSTRUCTS don't work in reality. When constructs meet reality, it is reality that will always win. They are not reality. There is no such thing possible as a constant balance with no deviations. It is an illusion. This is NOT a perfect world. Perfection is an ideal that we can strive for, but reality always checks in. Sometimes the best solutions for us to function day to day are an imperfect solution. Balance does not exist. Perfection does not exist. What does exist is to find the IDEAL partner for you. The only way to do that is to know who you are, thus you know what you need, and seek it out. When you find it, do whatever it takes to get it, and once you have it, work to relationship-manage it So when someone tries to push an intellectual construct on you, be a man and IGNORE IT.
128
Rule of Relationships # 5 How She Treats You is the MOST Important Thing As discussed in my other book, the most important thing to a woman is: How he makes her FEEEEEL. The most important thing to a man (who has it together) is: How she treats him. In terms of the way she makes him feel. A man must feel he is being respected, but it is not enough for a man to FEEL he is respected. A high value man will judge if he is being respected by the way she treats him. In other words, is she addressing HIS emotional needs. Here are some general points for men to follow. This is the difference between being a high value man, and a low value man. Beliefs of a High Value Male: How much money she has is meaningless. What your friends and family think of her is meaningless How good she fucks is meaningless. What she looks like is meaningless.
THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS HOW SHE TREATS YOU. Period. Here is why: How Much Money She Has Is Meaningless. You are a man. If making money were THAT important to you, you would find ways to earn it yourself. Unless you are a pimp, how much money she could bring to you is meaningless. If you are rich only because she is loaded, and if that is the only reason you are with her, then she is the Alpha in the relationship, not you. You are the one that is NEEDY for her, and not her for you. It is you that fears abandonment from her. The most important thing is how she treats you in the relationship, not how much she spends to buy control over you.
129
What Your Friends Meaningless and Family Think of Her Is
Beware your friends and family. Unless they are people who have their lives together, and are happy content individuals, every element that sucks in their lives will come out as neurotic comments about you, if you are stupid enough to listen to them. When I was an average guy, the BIGGEST error that I ever committed in my relationships with girls was that I actually cared what my friends thought. O h , Yeah, those "great friends of mine" (95% of who are not even in my life now, nor do I have any of their phone numbers or email addresses). If I had paid less attention to those great friends of mine, and more attention to what I wanted, not only would I have gotten laid a LOT more in my past, but I might have become a natural, never needing my journey of loser to seducer to save me from suicidal thoughts. As for family, all I can tell you is that your family does not always want what is best for you, as much as they want what is best for Them-And-You. When you are an adult male, you need to be able to differentiate between when your family has your ideals at heart, and when they have their own ideals that they wish to thrust upon you. It is not a question of intention. Usually, families have the best intentions, but your families' intention is the surest path to your own personal hell. You are not the child they knew. You are, and you must BE, your own man. Be willing to accept abandonment from them. It is the only way. When trying to figure out what kind of woman (or women) you want, I've got 5 words for you when thinking about your friends and family: To HELL With Them All!
130
How Good She Fucks Is Meaningless Sex is great. Great sex is awesome, but great sex with nothing else is just sex to the high value man. Just like the hottest woman, a high value man can always get more sex. However, if he's looking for more than sex from a relationship, he will become quite apathetic towards great sex, and be left feeling empty. Many ladies-men and players reach this point, forgetting that without the realization of their personal redemption, whatever that may be, there will be no peace nor rest on the laurels of hot sex. It is only the low value man that will use sex as filler for what a relationship or his life lacks. When a man stays in a relationship for the sex, even if he is being treated poorly, it strikes him at the heart, and slowly turns him into a weaker male. All the good of the relationships starts to die and only his desperation for the sex remains. It is unhealthy and damaging. A man will FUCK all kinds of women, but even the great players out there (and I have learned from some of the best), when they decide to pick one woman to commit too, it is never the most beautiful they have had, the most technically gifted lover, nor the girl with the largest breasts...none of that. They choose their woman partner based on how she addresses his particular emotional needs whatever they may be. What She Looks Like Is Meaningless. A man must never be held hostage by his attraction to what a woman looks like. Basically, if she is good looking to him, he must still be able to adhere to his boundaries and deal breakers otherwise she is allowed to take advantage of him. In other words, the more attractive you find her, the more POWER you give her over you. If your behavior is dependant on what she looks like then you will end up acting like a low value male, and there is nothing attractive about a man that has no control over his own behaviors.
131
As a seducer, it is your job as a man to drop the pretense, and find the "10" in her. Find out what makes her beautiful. Find out what is special about her. For all you know, she could be the closet thing you will ever find to a soul mate, and you would miss out on the potential happiness because she is not up to some CONSTRUCTED standard of beauty. I don't know about you, but I would rather be getting laid and finding love, than be too cool for some girl that is not attractive to the masses. I only have to answer to myself. Frank B Kermit rule: There is no woman that is so unattractive, that a real man would refuse a blowjob. Attractiveness is just a state of mind. The first person you need to seduce is yourself. With most men that are so critical of the way women look; they end up not dating anyone. There are also others issues at play that I have already explored in this book. Here is another revelation I came to: The very part of some men that is finding it necessary to put someone else down (calling women too ugly for sex) is just him trying to make himself feel superior. I believe it is that same chunk of coal that is stopping him from feeling he deserves any love in life. That is it. When a man feels trapped, or bad about himself, sometimes making someone else feel that same way soothes him. A man that can ONLY be turned on by the hottest looking women is NOT in control of his sexuality. It is only the hottest looking women that has all the power.... power over that man. What if it is not the way a person looks that attracts you, but that you are turned on by your ability to seducer her? Who would have the power over your sexuality then? The sex (or lack there off) is about you, not about her. When I use the term "Ugly" in this section it is to define any girl that average guys don't drool over. Oh yeah, one more thing: Ugly chicks get laid. They get more cock than you get pussy. And 50% of ugly chicks get pussy too. No matter how ugly a chick, she is going to go home with someone tonight, and she has more people to call for a fuck than you do. It is going to happen, might as well be with you. You think that just
132
because she is ugly that she doesn't get any. Wrong. You are thinking like a guy, and displacing that process on women. Doesn't work that way. Here is my drop of wisdom: women do not experience sexual scarcity because the criterion for what they'll fuck is more open than the criteria guys use. That is their power base. Guys, sex is pleasurable, and as far as I have learned, NECESSARY to keep you feeling balanced. Not just good, but balanced. If you can't fuck the hottest chick in the room (for whatever reasons, maybe even because as much as you want it, you don't feel you deserve it) then fuck who you can fuck, and get into the game. This is part of a process, and it is a good place to start. It works. There is beauty in all things, and in all people. I had to learn to see past my own ugliness and see the beauty that exists inside me. I did it for myself, and that has allowed me to be able to see the beauty in others. To see the beauty in others, you must see the beauty in yourself. To see the (true) beauty in yourself, you must be able to see the (true) beauty in others. Now lets get some context here before you completely flip out on me dear reader. All this does not means that you must settle for a low quality woman. If she is too lazy to get a j o b and expects to live off of you, or if all your high value friends that you trust and who trust your judgment, are telling you she is openly looking to destroy you, and if she is sexually devoid of anything that would satisfy your basic needs, and if she is so attractive and gross hygienically that you gag with the mere thought of kissing her, then no, how she treats you is not enough. All this rule is saying, is that if she is not super rich, popular with everyone you know, an acrobatic dynamo in bed, or a hot looking model, all that does not matter. What matters most is how she treats you. And until you learn that you can never experience the reality of a high quality male. I am not saying to have someone who disgusts you, just keep things in proper perspective. How does this relate to being a man Be A Man. Chose As A Man Would Chose.
133
Rule of Relationships # 6 it IK Better To Be Respected Than It Is To Be Liked This is a short and simple rule. During my development, this one rule could have saved me from making the same mistakes over and over. Every time I held back, or bit my tongue because I wanted some girl to like me, instead of demanding she respect me with her behavior, it was the end of the relationship. I could not even get us to the point of having sex, without first behaving in a manner that commanded respect from her, for me as a man. Respect is not about being popular, friendly, or liked. It is about admiration. Admiration is separate from being liked, which means, people do not have to like you to respect you. That is its power. It is a hard thing to get used to when all you have ever wanted was
to be liked.
Women will not always have sex with a guy they like. If all they do is "like", and they do not feel anything else, she most definitely will NOT have sex with him. Women will have sex with a man that they respect EVEN IF THEY HATE HIM. If she respects him because he can address her emotional needs, it does not matter if she likes him, or if she is physically attracted to him. The bitchiest of my harem girls used to tell me that she did not really know why she was with me, as she did not even find me good looking, nor did she even "like" me (I was too much of a dork for her). Despite that statement though, she came over every Friday night for 4 months and fucked my brains out. She did not like the fact I would not put up with her bullshit like she was used to men doing, but she responded to my behavior commanding her to respect me. Respect is more important than being liked in the emotional reality of women. A man seeks respect first, and being liked as a side effect, only if possible. That is your job.
134
Rule of Relationships # 7 Pick And Choose Your Fights This one not only applies to relationships with women, it also applies to the rest of your life as well. In an ideal world, a person would fight each and every time on merely the principle of the matter, no matter how big or small, and that person would be applauded for being the greasy wheel that always squeaks. That is an Intellectual Construct, and as you have already learned in this book, Intellectual Constructs do not always work in reality. Some fights need immediate attention and resolution, while others just are not worth the energy expended. There are times when a man must stand his ground, call a person on their bullshit, or make a move that will knowingly make him unpopular with others, because he believes it is the right thing to do. A man fights on principle. It could be a big fight, or a small fight, or a fight on someone else's behalf. Sometimes the fight is in reaction to an incident, and sometimes the fight happens to prevent an incident from occurring. These fights are usually legitimate. Cases of these types of fights include times when a man is being abused, attacked, violated, or if any of those actions are committed to people he cares about, or people that are under his care. There are times when a fight is warranted, but it is a question of the degree of fighting. For a man, he must calibrate both his temper and the priority of the fight, to know to what degree he should take it. Should he simply communicate his discontent and then let it be at that? Should he let out all his rage in one shot to make his point? Should he get angry and see the fight all the way through its ultimate resolution? Cases like these could include when a simple comment about something that is an issue for you, could be all it takes to rectify a situation. This one takes into account whom the fight would be with, and how severe the issue could be. If you are in conflict with a reasonable person who is not even aware of the transgression against you, sometimes simply making this person aware is all it takes to turn the
135
situation to your favor. Other times it could be a relative that will only listen to you properly if you raise your voice to them, so they understand the importance of not committing the same error, otherwise that relative may, through sheer indignation, will repeat the unacceptable behavior. Then there are times when a man COULD fight, but it is best that he not fight. Not every fight is worth arguing for. Sometime the person to fight with will not learn from fighting, or that person will not be in a position to interfere with your happiness anyway. Is it even something worth complaining about? Will an all out assault about it simply make an annoying and time limited situation much worse, and turn it into an unlivable one? Cases like this may include fighting with a child too young to understand what they are doing is wrong. Perhaps it is fighting with a visiting executive at your company that will be back on a plane in the morning and you will never see that person again. Perhaps it is your friend making a neurotic statement because he just went through the traumatic death of his sibling, so he is not even thinking straight and acting out of character for a night during his grieving period. Here is another way to think about it. There are those people that take part in EVERY protest, who fight EVERY fight, who take part in EVERY cause they can think of. The end result is that these people are not taken very seriously regardless of how serious the issues are. Then there are those people who specialize in one cause or one activity to dedicate themselves to. Every cause has its champions and spokespersons. The reason that these types of people are listened to more, is that they have picked and chosen their fight, and make a solid stance on one or two important issues to them. They also do not sign up for the cause of the week. When it comes to women and relationships, fighting (or starting a false fight) is a good tool for creating drama (see emotional need for women # 2), but that does not mean that fighting in general will solve any real issues. A man must really know when to step up
136
and really put his foot down (issues like boundaries and maintaining respectful treatment), and when to let things go (sometimes the only to show dominance or disapproval is to ignore her and the incident completely). There are times that a man should ignore what she says, for instance when she is simply rambling, and all she wants is a hug. There are three categories of fighting men when it comes to relationships. 1-Never Fighter - These are guys that are afraid of conflict with women. They are too afraid to piss women off, and often-let things build up inside them and then explode every so often. These guys come off as being too nice and rarely keep the girl around, or faithful to
him.
2-lmportant Fighter - These guys strive for an ideal balance of picking and choosing their fights. This is not the easier path to take, but I do think it is the best one for life long relationship management skills. These guys give women the best emotional range. 3-Always Fighter - These guys yell and scream at the same level for everything. Their behavior could be interpreted as dominant, but they are actually Beta males with booming voices. It sometimes takes women a while to see through the aggression, but once they do, these men get replaced fast If you are one of these guys, beware because you are going to destroy every good thing you have in your life. When you choose to fight for no reason, you are choosing your enemies. In today's climate of school shootings, if you choose your victims for meaningless posturing or bullying, you may very well be choosing your executioner. Whenever possible, be good to people. That does not mean being nice, or a push over. It means being a good person: do the right thing and respect other peoples property rights. Your biggest fights as men should be with your own inner demons that keep you from moving from Loser to Seducer. That's your job.
137
Rule of Relationships # 8 Set The Boundaries Very Early There is nothing more of a piss off than when someone in the relationship decides to change the rules. If you have ever been in a relationship that has lasted beyond the honeymoon stages then you probably have experienced the "rules change" phase of a relationship. This is maddening, and one of the ways that people KILL relationships. Here is a paraphrased example I have heard from dozens of men I counseled that were married: "When we dated and while we were engaged, the sex was constant and amazing. She could not get enough, and I was thrilled. Then after we got married and lived together, the sex became less so, until eventually, we did not do it, unless I practically begged for it Then one day my wife tells me that the truth is she was sexually abused / assaulted / attacked / raped before she had even met me, and that she does not even like sex because of it Now, she says she is not interested in sex anymore, but when I tried to suggest that maybe I could stay in the marriage but go get sex through other means, she throws our marriage vows in my face about promising to be faithful. If I had any idea it was going to be like this, I never would have gotten married, but a divorce would ruin me...so I just accept it, and occasionally pay hookers to get what I need."
Yeeesh! Ladies if you are reading this, and you plan to do this to some guy, or already have, then get a fucking clue. If you are not giving your man the sex he wants, he WILL get it elsewhere. My guess is you already knew that, but you prefer not to acknowledge it. Sex IS an emotional need of men, and the above option is just an Intellectual Construct that, like other Intellectual Constructs, does not work in the real world. Now, men are guilty of this too. Once he gets serious with a woman, or when she becomes the mother
138 of his children, his expectations of her chance from when he was dating her, and she is just as pissed off. It could be something such as during courtship he enjoyed her wearing attractive garments, but once she was married, he only wanted her in frumpy clothing. Part of being a man is to know what all of your boundaries are, and either have one set standard for all your relationships to follow, or to know how your boundaries will be at different stages in your developing relationships, and to communicate them to your partners. For example: when dating, you may not care if your girlfriend sees other guys, but you expect her to cut out all of her male friends if she marries you. For some people this is a reasonable request, and for others it is not. The error most people commit is that they TAKE IT FOR GRANTED that one person will assume to want what they want. BIG MISTAKE. Never assume, and never take for granted that your partner will want what you w a n t Whatever your boundaries are, you need to make them clear from the beginning. This one relationship rule can build or destroy even the best possible matches out there. This could be a key reason that some couples choose to live together and/or even have children together, but not get married. It is because with the marriage there may come different expectations. With those extra, usually unannounced expectations also comes ...TROUBLE. This also factors in to why it is a good idea for couples to live together first before getting married. It is a chance to establish the boundaries before marriage. The key difference that I have found with couples that must change their dynamics greatly after they live together/get married, and those that do not change their dynamics is the early establishing of boundaries. When we talk about BOUNDARIES, we are not considering preferences here. We are looking at the DEAL BREAKERS. A DEAL BREAKER is something
139 that would make you abandon her, and refuse to commit to her. It has to really be important to you. For example: If you have asthma, a Deal Breaker for you might be that you will not marry a smoker. If you are deathly allergic to bee stings, you probably will not marry someone that owns a honey making plantation full of beehives. If you are very religious and God-fearing, you probably will not marry someone that is a staunch atheist If you already have a child, you probably will not marry someone that hates children. For Deal Breakers, it does not matter how much you love her; what matters is that if she comes with strings attached that you, for whatever reason you deem valid, do not want to make a regular part of your life, nor your children's lives.
Be a man, know your Deal Breakers, and set those boundaries. Time for another writing exercise: So, What are your top ten Deal Breakers?
12345678-
10When setting boundaries in a relationship, (at the beginning, during the early stages, or just to maintain them throughout) here are a few personal beliefs and
140
tactics I use in my relationships, which have helped me manage my relationship boundaries. 1-Reward and Punish How does a man encourage good behavior in his women? He rewards the good behavior. How does a man discourage bad behavior in his women? He punishes her. If your woman misbehaves (maybe hurts your reputation in your business circle), and you forgive her indiscretion without punishing her first (e.g. withholding attention or perhaps canceling an outing) you will appear desperate in her female interpretation of the interaction, because you are willing to reward bad behavior. Punishment is a hard word, but it does not have to be a drastic action. A simple scolding may be all that is called for. Do you know any parents of 4-6 year old girls? Ask them how they scold. Imitate your scolding in the same manner. Important: The punishments you come up with should not end a potentially good relationship with a woman, yet they need to be strong enough that the point gets made about following the rules.
2-Qualifv Her In this context, Qualifying has to do with categories and criteria. A high quality male demonstrates his value, by being suspicion of women, making her earn his attention. Start out with your list of criteria for the women you seek (see Chapter 3). These criteria will be the basis for the QUESTIONS you will ask her throughout the seduction. The questions are you qualifying her, making you the selector and she the selected, if she passes enough of the criteria. You won't have the inner weakness of being qualified by her IF you FOCUS on what role she is to fill for YOUR Life. Men must give nothing for free. She must earn his time. When she wants something you don't give it to her just yet, but make her earn it. Things that I have told women who wanted more of a relationship with me than I wanted with them include: You need to get your driver's license, you need to quit smoking, you have to finish school, we have to have a threesome first.
141
3-The Sooner the Sex The sooner the sex = THE BETTER. In all the different relationship experiences I have had, one thing was a constant that I tested time and again. Even when I developed enough seduction skill so that I could have sex with a woman within the first date to maximum three dates, I would experiment and withhold sex sometimes just to see what would happen. It was always the sa me. The best relationships were ALWAYS those relationships where sex happened much sooner. The longer we waited to have sex, the more drama and the more problems the relationship encountered. I remember one potentially great relationship where I could have had sex with her that first date, but I was feeling experimental and wanted to see what would happen if I waited. Well, we ended up waiting too long, and I ended up losing attraction for her because I got used to seeing her, but not getting sexual with her. When we finally did have sex, it was almost anti-climatic. I really loved her, and could have easily fallen deeply in love with her, but waiting for sex, put a dynamic in our relationship that mined the long-term prospects. Sigh. This by the way is exactly the same thing that happens when a woman wants to become friends first before dating. She wants to wait because the longer she waits, the less attraction she is bound to feel, and then will JUST want to be friends with a man. I learned that lesson the hard way. The sooner the sex = the better. It may just save your relationship. If in the end it still does not work out, you as a man will not be left wondering what it could have been like if you did have sex with her. You will already know, and that is peace of mind for a man's sexual appetite. Also, having sex with her means you are MORE likely to abstain from sleeping with her in the future if you end up in a monogamous relationship, and she comes back to see you one night for some quick fun. Been there, done that. The Sex Controls the Relationship. If she makes me wait too long for sex, I know that I have done
142
something wrong. The same woman that makes one guy wait for sex would be willing to have a one-night stand with a totally different guy. The woman did not change; she just had her emotional needs addressed in the right combination. One of the first questions about sex that I ask a woman, if and when the topic comes up, is about one-night stands. If I know that she has had a one-night stand in the past, then I know that if I do not get sex soon, I have failed as a seducer. Some women will only give a man sex if he promises first to be monogamous. This is just a form of control on her part to address her emotional need of fear of abandonment. My take on this is that I do not offer monogamy to a woman until AFTER I sleep with her for a period of time, and not before. My monogamy, like any other form of attention I offer, is a gift, that I offer, which must be EARNED. There is no debate on t h a t Yes, this does mean that sometimes I walk away or lose the chance to be with some really great women, but as a seducer, I can recruit more women. Also, one of my boundaries is that if we do not have sex within a reasonable time, I simply spend my future time with better prospective sexual partners. Whatever your boundaries are, set them early, communicate them and maintain them. If you have relationship experience of getting surprise changes from your partner like I described above, LEARN FROM IT, and develop qualifying questions for every future woman you ever m e e t You cannot change the past, but you can manage your future. You're a man, and that's your job.
143
Rule of Relationships # 9 Beware Your Mentors Beware of your mentors. I am sure you must be mindful of the very irony of this statement coming from me, but it is true. No matter who may set themselves up as mentors, be sure that they can actually teach you what it is you want to learn, AND that your goals are in line with what they offer. I encourage you to apply this approach even when you decide you want to learn from me. There are things that I have mastery over, and can teach better than other seduction gurus; and there are things that others totally specialize in that I have an understanding of, but not a mastery of. When choosing a mentor, I suggest the following four ways in which you can speed up your progress from loser to seducer 1-ldentify exactly what you want as a goal (e.g. where do you want to end up, your lifestyle, type of girl, type of experience etc. Basically, where do you see yourself in 10 years from now.)? 2-Find a person who had the same past as you have now, find out everything they did to change, and then model / imitate / repeat / copy their behaviors that worked for them. 3-Flnd people now that are living that end goal, and learn how they got there, even if they did not have the same past as you. This is to at least give you options that someone with a similar past as you had not factored in. 4-Only listen to guys that got the results you yourself want. This seems simple enough, but when it comes to relationships, it seems everybody is an expert, but very few people have competent advice.
This next thing I am going to write is to set the pace for this entire section. Because relationships can be a volatile subject, which causes people to focus on
144
what they think relationships should be, as opposed to the way relationships actually work. To illustrate this, I am going to present a different volatile subject to make the same point If you have no money and if you want to learn to be a rich, you would get advice from someone that used to have no money and is now rich. It's simple enough thinking, right? Who would you NOT ask advice on how to become rich? You do not ask: 1-Someone that does not really want to see you become rich, because they deem you unworthy of ever becoming rich, for the fact that you asked for advice on how to get rich 2-Someone who seems to know how to get rich, but is not actually rich themselves. 3-Someone who has an education in finance, but is not rich. 4-Someone who was born into a rich family, and lives off a trust fund. 5-Media programs that are designed to keep you spending more money on more programs. 6-Your parents if they are not rich themselves, or resent the riches you might make. Now, let us apply this theory to seduction and relationships. If you cannot get laid to save your life, and you want to learn how to get laid to save your life, you would get advice from someone that was once unable to get laid to save his life, but is now able to consistently get laid, thus saving his life. Again, it is simple enough thinking. Now then, Who would you NOT ask advice on how to get laid to save your life? You do not ask:
145
1-Someone that does not really want to see you get laid, because they deem you unworthy of ever getting laid, for the fact you asked for advice to begin with. 2-Someone who seems to know how to get laid, but is not actually getting laid themselves. 3-Someone who has a PhD degree in the study of relationships but is not getting laid, or able to maintain sustainable relationships. 4-Someone who was always naturally able to get laid, and never went through a period of not getting laid. 5-Media programs that are designed to keep you spending more money on more programs, but that teach you techniques that do not actually get you laid. 6-Your parents if they are not comfortable with sex themselves, or resent the lays that you might get. All that being said, there are categories of sources that T will NEVER take relationship advice from. You are free to listen to these sources if you wish, but do so with the understanding that I do not endorse it, and I will have no sympathy for you if you fail from the advice they give you, now that you have read my book. 1-Women 2-People who do not get laid 3-Relationship Academics 4-Naturals 5-Popular Media 6-Pa rents
1-Women I honestly do not believe that women will help men become better seducers. It is not in their interests at all. I totally believe they will steer men wrong. If you aren't getting the pussy you want, and if you want to learn how to seduce pussy, you ask a guy that seduces pussy, not a woman that only has a pussy. Let me put it another way. A woman usually does not go out to meet, date and have sex with other women, unless she is a lesbian or a bi-sexual woman. That being said, even a lesbian or bi-sexual woman
146
does not have the same issues to deal with when approaching women. When a man approaches a woman, she is resistant because she is worried about being raped, hurt, or a host of other things until the man makes her feel at ease with his conversation. A woman does not evoke the same type of shielded resistance in another woman. It is a completely different set of circumstances. How can she possibly advise a man on how to approach other women? All she can do is let him know what would work on her. However, I believe that to be unlikely. Women are not biologically programmed to help men they deem Beta to score with other women. It is not in the advantage of the procreation of the species for a Beta to mate. When you NEED her to be your mother (give you advice on getting sex) she will deem you Beta. Keeping that in mind, no woman would ever tell you what works on her, for fear you (a newly classed Beta male) will attempt it on her. Women are not interested in telling Betas the complete truth, as it is the only truth that they think you can handle. For all you know, these women were telling you what you wanted to hear, OR worst yet, what they felt you were only strong enough to hear. The only time she would tell you what actually would work on her is if she were ALREADY INTERESTED in having sex with you. If a woman would see value in a man enough that she believes he should get laid, SHE WILL FUCK HIM HERSELF. PERIOD. Never listen to women's advice on relationships. Women are biologically programmed to stop Beta males from breeding, unless they stand to gain materially from it (i.e. Helping the Beta creating grandchildren a.k.a. future caregivers). During your development, you are going to have bad days and low periods, it is NOT a time for a woman to "console" you back into the loser you were.
147
Men and Women are NOT Real Friends For what it's worth, here is my take on females as friends: Not good. It isn't the one female friend in particular that I oppose. It is the idea that once you start making female friends, you put females into a category that isnt healthy for you in your process to become a seducer. The danger here is that you can get hooked on needing to get a female opinion on other things. Actually, what YOU think should always supercede what SHE thinks when it comes to YOUR life and preferences. Here, you are giving her TOO much power that she will resent as it makes her feel like your mother. Most importantly to me personally isn't the women you talk to today, it is the greater danger that telling a woman your problems becomes a HABIT. That is where the real danger lies. These are habits you take with you into your relationships with the women you are fucking. Anyone dealing with addictions can tell you how hard habits are to break. No amount of rule setting or intellectualizing will do it. My take is to get out of this dangerous habit now. If you really feel the need to get a woman's approval or nurturing, get a regular sex worker or female therapist, and keep that a very sanctioned part of your life. Better yet, learn to be a man that leads. The friendship you have with her exists ONLY IN YOUR HEAD. It is not real. If you are already attracted to her and want to have sex with her, there will never be a "true friendship" there anyways. Tell me, as a man, would you allow some male friend of your lover to go to the movies with her, "just as friends"? If you answered yes, then by all means, I am more than happy to take your lover out. Get the picture? I just don't see the value in being "just" friends with women. Unless she is going to help you get laid, or she is banging you herself, she is not really your friend. Period. That is how I view all women. When you talk to females about your relationship problems, they see you as a nice guy (read: WEAK). They will tell their other female friends all about you, by saying that you are a nice guy. (i.e. Meet this guy, you won't have to fuck him,
148
he's Beta). W h e n your female friends get really pissed off at you if you ever try to stand up for yourself, those same women "friends" will turn on you with every secret you trusted them with. It is the same cattiness that they use on each other. You are just a female friend with a penis to them. Just remember this one last point. It is listening to the women in your life, and following their advice that probably got you into the mess that caused you to need my books to begin with. Men and women are different. They have different experiences, and different perceptions of reality. Unless she is helping you meet and seduce other women...women are not your friends. Guys Who Are Afraid Of Competition This is just an addition mention to note. There are guys that are good with women, who will teach you the wrong thing to do because they will not want you to be their competition. You must quickly identify these guys, and treat all of their advice, the same way you would treat advice from women, for the same reasons.
2-People Who Do Not Get Laid Never to listen to people that have not gotten the results you seek. The key words here are: RESULTS THAT YOU SEEK. It never ceases to amaze me how even now, when I meet people who I know write books on seduction, who know my history and credentials, STILL offer me relationship advice about the way things Really work. I have three rules for people that want to offer any advice: 1-lf it is based on life experience; then say so. 2-lf it is based on something you studied; then say so 3-lf it is based on your own theorizing; then say so. At least let people know where the advice is coming from. I know men that have studied the same material as I, for the same amount of time as I, and who have yet to get their first lay in YEARS. Yet, as I search
149 the Internet, I find these same guys, offering their advice as gospel. Sad. One source of advice I stopped taking a LONG time ago, is the advice from my old circle of friends. Why? They were not always supportive of my relationship management studies, and are still at the same level of success with women now, that they were when I first started my journey. Which is little-to-no real success. Still, these guys are more than sure of themselves that they know better, even though their results do not back up the claims. Basically and bluntly stated, if a guy cannot get laid himself, then listening to any advice he offers about how to get laid is a WASTE OF TIME. Actually, this also applies to people in relationships that have gone sour. If the person giving you advice on relationships is on the verge of a separation, divorced, or their love life is not something you would ever want for yourself, then
dudes...RUN!
Lastly, I come the soul-mate couple. You know whom I am talking about. It is those couples that got LUCKY and met the right person, at the right time, blah blah, blah. My own parents were such a couple. They starting dating at ages 11 and 13, and it were their only courtship until they got married. They could not understand how I remained unmarried during my 20s, when according to them meeting someone should be easy and natural...Argh! I find that soul mate couples simply take for granted that they got really lucky to find one another when they did, and not everyone is as fortunate. They cannot advise on relationships, because they are the exception people hope for. They are not the norm. Any advice they give probably does not apply to you. Also, in my experience with many so-called soul mate couples, in a lot of the cases, it has less to do with being soul mates, and a lot more to do with timing and settling for what came along. Do not believe everything people tell you about being soul mates. People need to believe in
150
their own lies, more than they need to tell you any real truths. 3-Relationship Academics I have a HUGH distrust of relationship academics. Since my journey of development, I now question if their findings are based on what they think it SHOULD be, or if their findings are based on the way THINGS ARE. When they write their books, are they looking to prove their own theories, or are they reporting what they actually found worked? Today, I never listen to relationship academics about how to get laid or find love, as most of them cannot accomplish either. If they do get laid, they get laid on looks, money or some other element to compensate for their lack of game. I OBSERVED what women RESPONDED to. Period. That was it. That was my method. I learned years ago not to ask women what they wanted, because if a man directly asks what a woman wants, she does not give the answers she actually responds too. She gives the answers she thinks he want to hear from her. Want an example? When women are asked what kind of man they want to date, almost all women will SAY they want to date a NICE GUY. Now then, whom do these women usually end up dating, fucking and sometimes marrying: The nice guy or THE JERK? If you have any real experience with women, you know the answer is: The Jerk. Why? Because, as I detailed in my book Everything Out of Her Mouth is a Test, Jerks address women's EMOTIONAL NEEDS better than nice guys ever could. This is why I do not listen to what women say...l listen to what they do. (This is not a typo. Read it again.) What women RESPOND to speaks volumes about what actually fulfills them EMOTIONALLY. When a nice guy can address a woman's emotional needs, he
151
becomes beats out damaged she is the a HIGH VALUE MALE. A high value male the jerk every time. (Unless she is emotionally and drawn to violence abuse. In that case, exception to the rule).
If anyone tries to teach you about women's emotional needs based solely on what women have said...RUN! DUDE, RUN NOW! If they have not learned from action, (actually attracting women), then they have nothing to teach about the emotional needs of women. I have read about so-called experts on emotional needs that claim to specifically understand women's emotional needs. I was intrigued, as I love to learn more all the time. THEN, I read what they have listed as emotional needs. One so-called PhD expert listed "Conversation" as an emotional need. Another listed "Financial Security" as an emotional need. IT MAKES ME SICK. I was a great conversationalist when I was a loser. Despite that, I went without sex for 5 years. It is not conversation that is the emotional need. Conversation is a way to address the UNDERLYING NEED; it is not the actual need itself. Next we have "financial security"? Oh please. If you need to get her with money, then you have no game, and she is just a gold digger. Lousy system taught there. Does this mean that all poor people have no hope of getting women? If you know anything about my past, you know that is BULLSHIT. It is not the financial security that is the emotional need, but what financial security indicates to the woman ABOUT the man that turns her on. A lot of my clients and the men that I have helped had waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more money in one years' earnings than I would see in a possible decade, and yet they were not getting laid, but * l * was.
This is why I never listen to women, nor do I listen to PhD's on relationships. When I want to learn about what makes a woman want to be with a man, I
152
learn from the man that has lots of women that want to be with him. Beware your mentors my dear students. Please understand, I can truly imagine women saying that "conversation" and "financial security" would be their emotional needs. That part makes sense to me. But I doubt all the Alpha males out there that are not great talkers, and that all the artistic musicians out there who do not have spare cash to throw about, worry about not getting laid because they lack those qualities. Why are they not worried? Because those guys GET LAID!!!!!
4-Naturals By my own admittance, I have studied under a number of naturals, guys that are naturally good with women. However, I find that very few of them can fully articulate what they do in a way that someone that never experienced natural talents can fully understand. Since the study of seduction has become a more focused experience for men, a number of naturals have come into the game as teachers, and they are slowly learning the teaching skills they need. However, when a loser at the total beginning stages meets up with a natural that has not honed his teaching skills, the miscommunication and frustration that comes from both ends is boundless. Think of it this way: when high school students that struggled with learning disabilities, finally master a subject, they often make better teachers of that subject, than the teachers that used to always be the strait-Astudents. The same principle applies here. To get past my own frustrations when I was a seducer-in-training, I changed my learning techniques when studying under a natural. I simply looked to naturals as examples of where to end up, and as possible outcomes. However, most naturals never experienced the things I have experienced in my loser past, so they also had a hard time relating to me. In fact many naturals do not really know what they are doing right, or why it is the right thing to do.
153
They just know it works, and do it. So when seducersin-training ask why it works, the natural usually can only answer It just does! Sigh. It is interesting watching them interacting with girls and making your own observations.
5- Popular Media Popular media has but one goal: To make money. That is it. It is a business like any other, catering to the lowest common denominator, to sell product. It is not an educator. It is entertainment. The movies, television shows, and Internet oddities are all designed to distract you from making your life everything you want it to be. It distracts you long enough so that you become addicted to that media-ESCAPE, and avoid having to deal in the real world, a real world with real women that want real sex. Think of it this way: If you have the relationship, sex and love you really want, what material possession would you possibly ever have to buy to make you happy? The answer of course is none. Once your basic fundamental needs are taken care of, you do not need more material possessions than basically required if you have the relationship of your dreams. Popular media does not want you to be happy. It wants you to be indebted to it, so that you will spend more time in consumerism through media than you do in consummation with your partner. Do you believe in conspiracy theories? Try this one: Popular media is designed to keep relationships in chaos, so that the instability created, promotes consumerism instead of connection. Leading to high CREDIT DEBT, which again adds to the instability of relationships, pushing forward the perpetual cycle of void-filling purchases. Ok, this is a topic for a whole different essay, so let's get back to more relevant reading. You get my point I think (I HOPE!). Popular media is not designed to teach you to be a man, and lead. It is designed to fulfill the fantasies
154
of the mass culture who THINK they know what they want, but who respond to different things in reality. Popular media is made up of lots of the same pretty faces, and happy ending storylines about the way things should be, but are not really. You cannot look at popular media to learn how to be a man. Sitcoms are infiltrated with decent looking loser guys that have cute or hot wives, and family lives that they could never get in real life. Most shows and movies all have happy endings, which does not reflect real life. That is because people do not want real life. They want fantasy escape. Did you ever notice that there are only two main types of commercials on TV? Those that sell products, and those that sell you on watching even more TV. It is not an accident
Even a movie like, Hitch (starring Will Smith), which at points seems to dish out sound theories of attraction and seduction, ended up ruining it with happyending-ness. The character "Albert" gets the girl in the end for being his weak neurotic self. That would NEVER happen in real life the way it happened in the movie. Even worse, the character Hitch ends up with the chick that almost destroyed his career and reputation. He should have tossed her away, but in the end of the movie, he gives in, and turns into a suck-up for the one woman that tried to violate him. That is fantasy drivel, not real life.
Why People Think TV and Movies A r e A Good Thing Some people think popular media is a good learning tool because as a child, most people grew up on it and there are some educational programs for children that are good. Also, some people find it easy to MIMIC the characters in media. IT feeds the illusion that understanding a media character is like reading real people. However, this is not the case. A person can not read a real person the way he would be able to read a media character because characters force you to enter their world. In order to engage a character, you need to be drawn into the world
155
of the character, and characters are created with that (academic term:) "Affect" in mind. Nothing happens by accident. The writing, the look of the character, the casting to perform it, etc. It is all designed under one intent, to highjack your mind. When you read a book, watch a movie, etc, it takes up your entire focus (quiet setting, dark theatre, etc..) and the characters are there for you to connect with. A real person, unless they are naturally charismatic, or have studied persuasion, will not highjack your mind to evoke "affect". Get it? Also, a book, a movie, etc.... unlike a real person, can be experienced EXACTLY the same, time and time again. Repetition is the mother of skill. When exposed to the same person in real life over and over, there will always be something different such as clothes, environment, smells, etc. that will distract from your focus. Focus is important in mirroring these characters. Lastly, it seems easier to learn from a character than a real person because whatever you do not know about the character, you will fill in based on elements that come from yourself. Whether it is directly elements from yourself, such as your personal look, or the sound of your voice, to elements that you create based on your own creative mind (i.e. creating a back ground for a character to justify their behavior and actions.) You are entering an "Affect" relationship with the character that is very personal, more so than a real person could evoke in you, unless again they are the exceptions mentioned above. This is why I BLOCK OUT popular media influences when I am contemplating relationships.
6-Parents This does not apply to everyone. I have met some men that had great fathers as role models when it comes to women. I have met men that had mothers that properly encouraged them to behave like men, when
156
engaging with women. However, these few rare gem parents are the exception, and not the rule. Based on my work and life experience I can tell you: 1-Mothers tend to play favorites with their male children, and if they encourage the favorite one to be the "heartbreaking player" they usually encourage the others to be good friendly nice guys. In many cases, women raise their male children to become "ideal husbands", and not the actual type of men that they themselves would be attracted too, mainly to make sure that these nice guys/good sons will NEVER ABANDON MOMMA. Lastly, some women take revenge for the sins of the father by raising their male children to be low value. 2-Fathers who are really good with women, will usually test their very young sons at some point to see if their sons "get it". Most guys fail this test, because of the attachment to their mothers. Fathers then decide to withhold any seduction-related teaching to their sons, as they figure the sons can not handle the truth about relationships, and will either turn against the father to side with the mother, OR these sons will act out from their own infantile fears of abandonment. If the father is NOT good with women, he can only teach what he knows. Lastly, some fathers feel guilty for being the players they were/are, and thus make up for it by raising low value males as atonement.
157
Rule of Relationships # 1 0 N o b o d y ' s Got It Figured Out When I first started this journey, I was coming from a monogamous mind frame, which had failed me miserably, or at least that is how I felt at the time. In fact, monogamy was not the problem at all; it was my inability to know how to manage a monogamous relationship. Then I went full throttle into the world of non-monogamy. This included getting to know swingers, and going to swingers club, polygamous couples and families, open marriages, and a host of alternative sexual lifestyles. This included straight, bi, gay and almost every gender-bender, fringe culture, BDSM, Goth, and every artificially based, concept crazy family structure out there. I have come across them all, and have tried out and experimented with at least a good chunk. Honestly open players, infidel cheaters, you name it, I have come across it. I once had a woman tell me all about her weekend affair with the wife of the married man she had been sleeping with for 3 years. She was amazed when I told her I had heard it all before. Nuns losing their virginities, group sex parties between friends, spontaneous threesomes and orgies, etc...the real surprise for me nowadays is that when people tell me about their secret sexual lives, they are shocked when I can almost predict what it is they have to say, because it's old hat to me now. There are people that have it figured out for themselves. In my case, I have my emotional needs theories that have served me well, and put my own love life in the perspective that I needed to help me get what I wanted, without compromising my principles. Each person must find his or her own truth. What works for one person, will not always work for another. The journey is about finding your own truth. I have found mine.
158
There are people that haven't even begun to think about figuring it out, because they just go with whatever comes along, and do not see any need to figure it out. That's OK though, because those people are already OK with living that way. I do not envy them though, as what they put their partners and families though is not something I would want to be a part of. I went on this journey to find out what makes a relationship work. I wanted to know what relationship structure was the best, and which one would save me from break ups and divorce. "Someone out there MUST have the answer1', I thought. After everything I have been through, and every relationship I have ever studied, I have come to one solid conclusion: Three Suggestions There are only three things I can suggest for anyone to do when trying to figure out what relationship structure and rules would best suit him: 1-Find out what is out there, and learn what rules of relationships people follow to live out their particular lifestyles. If you do this, you will find that rules vary from relationship to relationship, even within the same lifestyle choices. 2-Experiment only with those relationships types that you are intrigued by, and avoid those relationship types that do not at all interest you. Be honest about this process, and do not mislead your partner(s). The point of th is part of the journey is not to find love, as that is a side effect. The point is to find LEARNING. 3-Know yourself. The more you truly learn about yourself, the less time you will waste with relationships that will not fulfill you. The rest, you will have to figure out for yourself, and work at it day-to-day. That is the most any of us can do.
159
CHAPTER 3
The Inner Game Lists of Self-Awareness
160
Introduction: The Lists of Self-Awareness for Men In this chapter, you will be doing LOTS of writing. I am going to ask you to write out list, after list, after list. Some will be easy and fun, while others are going to require you to really think. They are all designed for you to learn about yourself. I have structured these questions and lists in such a way, that when it comes to being able to do other things, like learn calibrated storytelling, or personal symbolic peacocking, all the preliminary work required of those sessions is being done HERE. This is the work of developing your own personalized Inner Game. Preparing these series of lists will enable you to understand who you are as a person, and what your boundaries are. I encourage everyone to go through this process of self-discovery for himself if you have not already worked with me first Once you establish boundaries for yourself, you will better understand who you are, and you will be able to use this information to convey specific traits about your personality to women (and people in general). To understand the information contained in the lists, is the foundations for creating your seduction persona with which you will be comfortable and congruent The material you will be able to build from completing these lists will also enable you to develop communication tools and stories with the intent to convey your uniqueness to women, with who are. How does this relate to being a man You MUST know yourself. Uncertainty is for the woman. Women are like water; Men are like the hard rock it crashes against If you are uncertain of yourself in any tested capacity, then the rock crumbles under the waves. If you know yourself, and you stand your ground, the water wraps its legs around you, and takes the shape you want it to. Get it? When a woman senses that you do not know yourself that is a sign of weak sperm.
161
Through the lists, with all the questions, you are going to learn a lot about yourself. When you are seducing a woman, how will you be able to display your value as a man, if you yourself don't know what you have to offer? A Seducer must know himself to know what type of women he will seduce, and what type of relations he plans to have with them. This criteria is an incredibly personal set of listings, and should be based on what the Seducer personally values, enjoys and
dislikes.
In the realm of relationships with women and your own personal development, a man WILL have his feelings hurt. That is part of the risk of l o v e " . The hurt feelings do not have to be the end of you, IF you have a strong sense of self. You find a strong sense of self in deciding your priorities in learning about who you are, what you want, developing your criteria about what you want, and finally putting priority on those people who can give you that. (Provided of course you can give them what they need at the level they need it at). This takes WORK. It is a job. It is YOUR job. It's your job as a man.
162
List Number 1 25 Or Your Top Qualities t h a t make Y O U the PRIZE This list is to serve as a reminder to you about how much of a Prize you are. One of the obstacles that many men face is that these men do not realize their own value. These men do not recognize how much of a PRIZE they are for the women they desire. This list is designed to quickly find your top 25 qualities. It is easier than you think. Many men have been conditioned to think poorly of themselves, or may even fear taking stock of how great they are so to avoid over inflated egos. Ironically, an inflated ego might be exactly what these guys need for a while to balance out the years of putting themselves down. The issue for this exercise is to focus on what makes YOU particularly admirable. I do not expect you to think of 25 qualities off the top of your head, so I am going to break it down for you, into sub categories, and I am even going to GIVE you the first two.
The first reason that you are the PRIZE is that YOU ARE A MAN. You were born with balls. That is the NUMBER ONE reason that you are a PRIZE. It is not until you see it on paper that you realize how much you may not have valued your own gender. Being born a man IS a prize for women, who are attracted to and want to be with a man. It seems obvious, but when taking stock about your own value, a man must never take "the obvious" for granted. He must cherish his own gender. The second reason that you are the PRIZE is that you are ATTRACTED TO WOMEN. Your sexuality (I assume you are hetero, but you may also be bi) is a VALUE. With so many men out there either being gay (not sexually interested in women at all) or men that are straight or bi, but ASHAMED of their sexuality, it is women that are suffering in utter FRUSTRATION that they can not find enough good men, who are proud to be Men that Love Women sexually. Again, being born a man who is attracted to women IS a prize for women, who are attracted too and want to be with a man. Again,
163
it seems obvious, but when taking stock about your own value, a man must never take "the obvious" for granted. He must cherish his own sexuality. For the purposes of this exercise, I will quickly break down how you can subcategories the remaining 23 of your top qualities that make you the prize. Here they are: Name 3 qualities about yourself that your friends would say you posses, which you agree with. Name 5 qualities you posses, as they would appear on your resume that you would want a potential employer/client to know. Name 5 other qualities you possess that you would want your potential future lover to know about you. For the next 5 qualities, I want you to write out 5 of your achievements in life. These could include your degrees, goals obtained, awards, honorable mentions, and even include things like, "Employee of the Month", or a positive work evaluation, or a great grade in a tough class. For those of you survivors out there, beating a disease like cancer, or a past abuse also counts. For the final 5 qualities, list your material possessions that you either own outright, or that you have access too. This would be a thing like a car; a room you rent, a great outfit, a business, a rare and note worthy collection of some sort...those sorts of things.
At this point, I am sure that coming up with 25 of your top qualities now, is not the daunting task you thought it could be. By the time you finish, my guess is that you are going to come up with way more than 25. If you do, start a new list of 25 and KEEP GOING!!!! Refer back to this list as often as you need too, and as often as you can. As humans, it is easier for us all to remember what we think is so great about other people, and to forget what is so great about ourselves. This list is used to combat that basic human behavior.
Now then, let's get stated on that list:
164
25 Of Your Top Qualities That Make YOU The PRIZE: 1-1 am a Man 2-1 am sexually attracted to Women Three qualities about yourself that your friends would say you have: 345Five qualities you have, as they would appear on your resume that you would want a potential employer/client to know: 678-
10Five other qualities you possess that you would want your potential future lover to know about you:
11121314-
15Five of your achievements in life:
1617181920Five of your material possessions that you either own outright, or that you have access too:
2122232425Other qualities that you would like to add:
2627282930-
31Keep going on a separate sheet if you need too...
166
This next section of writing is for those guys that even after putting in some effort really cannot see themselves as the prize. You know who you are. So here are some really hardcore reasons for you as a man, to believe that YOU are the prize: No matter what she looks like, you can pay for a woman with better looks No matter how she cooks, you can pay for better food No matter how she fucks, you can pay for better sex. Rule of the Prize Why is the man the prize? Well, what is the real value of woman? The moment a man gives himself permission to learn to communicate with women, he gets to be monogamous by CHOICE, not by force. Once that happens, only then can he understand the power of being the prize. Also remember, no matter how good this woman is, there are always better women out there for you if you are willing to put in the work and look. Her value goes down as she ages; a Man's value goes up. Women know this. Men have no biological clock, and can get a younger girl to have kids with him. Women do not have that power or option. Be aware of this. One of the last girls to tell me she was "The Prize", was a 20ish year old hot looking petite busty girl that was hired as a dance instructor when I used to take dance lessons many, many years ago. While we were dancing, she told me in casual conversation (almost in a joking manner) that she was the prize when it came to guys. So a 20ish hot looking chick thought she was the prize huh? What a Crock of SHIT! Lets see, lets say she is 25. Let us look at what a 25 yrs old woman really has to offer 1-Age (her sexual value is high. She is fit enough to procreate and provide attract offspring that will again be
167
able to procreate....) but after that? Come o n . The fact is that no matter how "valued" she is for sex, she is in constant competition with other women for male attention. That is why they all wear make up and all do their hair. The fact is, no matter how "hot" she is, any man with cash in his pocket can always pay for better than what she offers sexually. Some guys think that because she is a YOUNG hottie, THAT makes her the prize. Oh please. A woman's value as the Prize is primarily dependant upon her age. Over time, it becomes less valuable. Yeah, she is 25 now, BUT she has about 7 years to go. After that, her age will forever be her liability. Women lie about age. The higher the age, the less the value.
2-Personality? Do you know anyone that has ever dated a 25ish girl that had her head and life totally together? Guess what? It does not get that much better when she is older. If you think older women are slaves to their emotions, it is worse when they are younger. 3- Her Education? Sure, between school debts and the fact that despite all her education, most women still hope she will attract a man that will be able to support her lazy ass. It starts with talk about wanting to stay at home with
the kids.... right.

Now then, let us look at the value of men: 1- Age: Young men have sexual value in youth just like women. Older men have value in EXPERIENCE and EXPERTISE. A man's value INCREASES with age. His life experience, and ability to lead increase with that experience, and his ability to act like a father figure. 2-Physical strength: Men are physically stronger than women. Compare a man and a woman that are similar in height, weight, and body type, that both follow the same diet, and exercises. The man will be stronger. That is why men are less afraid than women to walk the streets at night. There are no nighttime volunteer safety patrols for men on school campus, nor do bus transit systems offer men the option of stopping the bus between stops.
168
That all exists for women, because they need it, and we are expected to protect ourselves. It is all about the cock. Women need the cock. It is an emotional thing. Penis envy is alive. Bottom line: MEN ARE THE PRIZE Everything a woman says is a test in order to find the best men. Everything she does (hair, make up, etc,) is to get attention of the best men. That is WHY men get to CHASE. MEN get to CHOOSE. Women are here for men.
Ok, ok, that last part was a little extreme, but necessary. If you were not able to come up with 25 qualities that you possess, then you are not able to see yourself as the prize. That is not good. I have worked with countless men, and the idea that women are BETTER than men, is one of the beliefs that keeps many great men stuck in mediocre levels. That needs to stop. The belief that men are the prize is the best belief to counter the belief that women are better than men. For a guy that struggles just to get motivated to even date women, it makes all the difference.
169 List Number 2 50 Things You Love and Hate This list is all about making decisions. One of the subtle indicators that women notice is if a man does not even know what he likes and dislikes. For a guy, it really is not important if he has a favorite day of the week, but for a woman; she looks at it as a sign of lacking dominance. Dominance is interpreted as the ability to make decisions. This exercise is good practice to think fast, and to train yourself to exercise judgment between the first thing that comes to your head, and the first thing that comes out your mouth, which should not necessarily always be the same thing. The point of this exercise is to get you used to establishing BOUNDARIES. Once you complete this exercise, you will surely think of more things to add to the list, and by all means, please do continue this on your own. The topics that I have chosen are random, and to provide a little variety to this exercise. Now then, it is time to start to fill out your list of your most loved, and most hated 50 things.
50 Things You Love and Hate
# 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13
Item Day of the Week Month Season Food Drink Alcohol Holiday Sexual Position Cartoon Book School Subject First Date Vacation Location
Most Favorite
Most Hated
170
14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 Painting TV Show Radio Show Website Podcast Seduction Guru Actress Actor Color Vehicle Job Footwear Sex Toy Dessert Lover Ice Cream Gum Vegetable
Fruit
Super Hero Song Theatre Play Author/Artist Restaurant Hang out Flavor Toothpaste Place for sex Geometric Shape Road Sign Red Meat Fairy Tale Music Instrument Weapon Pet Wild Animal Porn Star
171
List Number 3 10 Most Favorite Childhood Memories Ok, this is going to be a fun one. I want you to think back to when you were a little boy, or teenager, and remember your BEST moments from that period of your life. The key here is to make the memories DIVERSE. Let's say that you have 7 best childhood memories, but they all involve traveling. You may want to categorize them as, 1 best childhood memory of "traveling" and work on coming up with 6 more different ones. Where you are going to use this is in storytelling and basic conversation skills, especially when you are talking to women. Have you ever been in a situation where you started a conversation with a woman, and then you ran out of things to talk about? When you memorize your own list of best childhood memories, you will have at least 10 good topics of discussion to keep the conversation going. Best childhood memories are great topics, and if talked about properly, can address a number of a woman's emotional needs. These are positive feel good topics, and great ways for you to get to know other people because as you talk about YOUR best childhood memories, so too will SHE start to talk about her best memories. Examples are: feeling secure in your parents arms, a trip to Disney World, watching favorite kids show, playing with your friends, or the last day of school.
For each one, write out the title of the favorite childhood memory, and then BRIEF 2-3 lines about the gist of the story. 10 Most Favorite Childhood Memories 1-
2-
172
3-
4-
5-
6-
7-
8-
9-
10-
173
List Number 4 10 Peak Life Experiences Ok, this is going to be a fun one too. Same idea, and same purpose as the Best Childhood Memories but one key difference. This is about those great moments in your life that define who you are. It can happen at any age. Again, keep these DIVERSE. Examples include: your first kiss, scoring the winning shot, winning an event, achieving a goal, getting into a school or job you really went for, beating the odds, etc.. When you memorize your own list of peak life experiences, you are demonstrating that you are a high value male, and that you are used to experiencing great moments in your life. That is something that she will get to experience if she earns the chance to hang out with you more. Peak life experiences are also a chance to qualify her. In each peak life experience, you demonstrate something amazing that you learned about the world, or about your self. This is done by telling her a few of your stories, and you get to put her on the spot to see what great peak life experiences she has had. If she shares her stories, you learn about her, gain rapport, and you win. If she cannot come up with any stories after about 2-3 of yours, then you have the option to disqualify her IF you want, and you are still the PRIZE, so you still win. For each one, write out the title of the Peak Life Experience, and then a BRIEF 2-3 lines about the gist of the story. 10 Peak Life Experiences 1-
2-
174
3-
4-
5-
6-
7-
8-
9-
10-
175
List Number 5 10 Times You Were Emasculated By Women This next list is for all those guys that are waaaaaay too nice. It is give those extra-nice guys a small dose of misogyny, BUT be very, very careful with this one. This list will put incredible tensions in your relations with women in general, including your female acquaintances, co-workers and female relatives, so make sure you can separate your feelings during the learning process, and those towards the women you know. Again, make sure you are ready for this one. Ignore this list if you must. Like I said, ONLY do this is you are TOO nice of a guy. For the purposes of this exercise, a guy is TOO NICE, when he supplicates to the point where he allows himself to be totally humiliated and disrespected by women OUT OF THE FEAR OF PISSING HER OFF. Some men, act like little boys, in the way that they will NOT stand up for themselves out of the fear of pissing off the women they are interested in. It is kind of like how a little boy is afraid to disappoint a mommy. So they tolerate abusive behaviors by women. This must STOP.
The purpose of this list is to remind the too nice guy of all the PAIN he has endured when he failed to stand up for himself, and decided not to call a woman on her bullshit out of the fear of upsetting her. This can be from women that include: mother, sister, cousins, female friends, bosses, lovers, or dates. This was done in private or in front of other people (esp. women). Write out the title of the incident, and a 1-2 line report of what happened and who she/they were. 10 Times You Were Emasculated By W o m e n 1-
2-
176
3-
4-
5-
6-
7-
8-
10-
177
List Number 6 10 Intriguing People You Have Ever Encountered Ok, time for a little light-hearted one. In this list, write out the names and situations of the most interesting and stimulating people you have ever met. These could include times when you have met with celebrities, conversations with your personal hero, or strangers that you had great conversations with at the bus stop. This is different from the list you did earlier about those people you admire the most. In this list, there may not be any real admiration at all. This is more about demonstrating either your ability to seek out new and exciting people, or your ability to draw those people to you. Some of my own personal examples include: dinner with a homeless man that I helped get off the street and sent him back to his family, long conversations with a guy that used to be Chubby Checker's former road manager, people who take part in all kinds of alternative lifestyles, and, in my case, many of the seduction gurus I have come to know as colleagues. The encounters could be on the street, at a party, in a club, through a friend, in school, at work, over the phone, over the net. Pretty much anywhere. Although more kudos for the encounters of meeting these people in person, if you got something out of the interaction, then it is a worthwhile one. Not only does this give you plenty of material to talk about, the key here is what you took away from the interactions that build up your inner game. What did you learn about yourself from each of these interactions? Did they find you just as intriguing? I think you will be amazed at how much the memories of the people you meet "in your neighborhood" will just naturally come flowing to you. They're the people that you meet, when you're walking down the street, each day.
178
Author's Note: So how many of you got the Sesame Street reference? So how many of you got the Gilligan s Island reference from pages before? So lets, do it. Name the person, and 1 line for the circumstance how you met the person. 10 Intriguing People You Have Ever Encountered 1-
2-
3-
4-
5-
6-
7-
8-
9-
10-
179 List Number 7 10 Characters/Celebrities That You Most Resemble Ok, this is an easy one. Should be quick too. Let's see where we can have some fun with this. In this list, you are to write out the 10 characters, real/fictional/celebrity that you most resemble. Now, "Resemble" does not just mean in appearance. Does your voice sound like the voice of Barney Rubble? Do you look like Danny Devito? Do you have the spastic mannerisms of a Cosmo Kramer? Has anyone ever told you that you remind them of X? If so, WRITE THEM DOWN! The point of this exercise is to see, really see, how others perceive you. Pop-culture references can be powerful for a seducer-in-training. It gives a quick and clear indication of how you are coming across, and gives you a specific referenced idea of the first impressions you give off. People used to tell me I reminded them of Ralph Kramden because of my temper. When I lost a LOT of weight in college, some girls actually said my eyes and face looked like Tom Cruise. These days when I peacock, I am told I look like a character from King of Cars. Do not take any of them as an insult. They are indications of things that you should either change or emphasize to your advantage, as the case may be.
Write down the name of the person or character that you resemble in some way, and explain in what way you resemble that person or character. Also write out if this is something that is a disadvantage you want to change, or an asset that you want to maintain, and why you think it is.
180 10 Characters/Celebrities That You Most Resemble 1-
2-
3-
4-
5-
6-
7-
8-
10-
181 List Number 8 10 Best Imitations This is not so you can become a starting standup comic. It is not about the impressions of others that you can do that make this exercise valuable. You are not here to make people laugh, nor do I want you to become an entertainment monkey for the sole purpose of others amusement. This is an exercise in TONALITY. When I was working on my tonality, I found it difficult to know if I was talking too fast, or too slow, or too loudly, or too low in the venue I was in. I really struggled with it despite having a background in theatre acting. Performance on the screen is different than tonality for seduction. Then I found something that worked for me to finally master my own tonality. I picked various characters, stereotypes, and people to IMITATE. These included Kermit the Frog, Randy Savage, the Cowardly Lion, an Italian Mafia Boss, and others. It was easier just to repeat what I had already heard over and over; until I sounded just like the voice I was imitating. This included imitating their body language too. Now, when I want to have a little fun with a girl that I have already slept with, I can do some imitations. It was the practice in getting my voice to use multiple tonalities that solidified my seduction verbal skills. Write out the name of whom you are imitating, and a few choice words that you are going to practice over and over, UNTIL you master the tonality. (For example, Randy Savage: "Ooo-Yeah! Elisabeth, walk me down that isleF, or Kermit: "HI Ho, Kermit the Frog Here....") Eventually, a fun game you can try is to tell a story using all the different characters you imitate. If you have a younger sibling or nephew/niece, read them a bedtime story using your variety voices. You'll be a hit with the kids, and the women will adore your vocal range when you sweet-talk them too. Now for the list.
10 Best Imitations
12345678-
10-
183 L i s t N u m b e r 9 , 10, and 11 List of Symbols and Symbology The next three lists all have a common theme. They are all related to your symbols. Something is a symbol if you believe it represents you, or parts of you. There should be a variety here such as animals, astrology signs, colors, shapes, abstract, well known symbols, not so well know symbols, symbols of your own creation, and at least one popular media character. There are three levels of Symbology, and thus that is why there are three lists to fill o u t The First list of Symbols (List Number 9) is all those symbols that you were born into, or thrust upon you. In these cases, you had no control, nor did you have a say in the symbol representing you. In this list, you will be asked to write out specific details about yourself. Each answer you give is a symbol of yours. These include your astrology sign, your eye color, your citizenship at birth, and so on. The Second List of Symbols (List Number 10) are those symbols that you have taken a liking too. These include your favorites and preferences. Your favorite colour, favorite shape, favorite flavour, favorite TV show, or cartoon character. They all represent you in some fashion, as they reflect what it is you respond to for some reason. The Third List of Symbols (List 11) is the one where you must get creative. Here, you go back to your first two lists, and look for trends and repeating patterns. I will also ask you to create some abstract drawings, and some worded slogans to fill out the list. If you do this honestly, and openly, it could totally change your entire perspective on life. I have seen men that I have helped identify their symbols, and it changed EVERYTHING for them from how they dressed, to the type of professions they were in. Yes they are that powerful.
184 List Number 9 10 Symbols You Had Thrust Upon You
1. What is your Zodiac Astrological Sign? 2. What is your Birth Citizenship and Flag? 3. What order child are you in your family? ( 1 s t , 2 nd , Last, Youngest, Middle, and Oldest?) 4. What is your eye color? 5. What are your full initials? 6. What is your birthstone? 7. What is your gender? 8. What religion were you born into? 9. What birthmarks or unique body parts do you have?
10. What images re-occur in your dreams?
Feel free to add more to this page if you think of more, such as your Chinese Zodiac Sign, Hair Color, or anything else that you think would count as a thrust upon symbol. This could include your family crest or ancestry history, what your phone number spells out if you replace the numbers with letters on the key pad (assuming you did not choose the intent of the spelling), your date of birth, nickname, etc...
185
List Number 10 10 Symbols You Chose
1. What is your favorite colour? 2. What is your favorite shape? 3. What is your favorite holiday? 4. What is your chosen work or profession? 5. What is your favorite precious stone/metal?
6. What is your favorite number? 7. What is your seduction persona? 8. What is your favorite entertainment? 9. What is your favorite popular media character?
10. What animal do you admire most?
In addition to the above you may want to add something that you consider a symbol for yourself that is not on the above list For example: for a period of years, I considered a "hand" to be one of my symbols, as I worked a lot with my hands. Spend some time thinking about all the images, sounds and icons that you feel might be a symbol for you, or a part of you. For this list, go back to your 50 favorites, or the other lists in this book, if you have better symbols there to work with. If you have done the lists like you were suppose to, you should have no problem here.
186 List Number 11 10 Symbols You Will CREATE Here in the 11th list, you must now get creative. First thing you need to do is to GO BACK to List Number 9 and 10, and for each thing that you wrote, write out next to it, or draw out at least one symbol to represent it, to a maximum of 3 for each. For example: if you wrote your favorite colour is purple, actually colour a little purple blob next to the word purple. If you wrote your citizenship is American, write an American Flag, draw a bald eagle, or color in three blobs of read, white and blue. Get it? Go back now, and do this BEFORE you get to the next paragraph.
All done? You'd better be. You will need that work done to get through this next list. In List Number 11, you are going to CREATE your own symbols. For example, if your citizenship is Canadian, your symbol is the Canadian Flag; however, you may only choose for this list a Maple Leaf as your symbol, and not the full flag. If you have brown eyes, you may even change the Red Maple Leaf to a Brown to match your eyes, to personalize your symbol. Now, let's also pretend that the last 4 digits in your phone number write out the word "DASH", and you have included a " " (dash) going along the middle of the brown maple leaf. Now, let's say that your hobby is that of genealogy, and you find that the brown maple leaf with a dash across it looks like a tree, which also matches your profession as an environmental activist...you modify the symbols together into one cohesive image. THAT is now ONE of your true symbols. You have now created a new symbol from your existing lists. Start the process again with different symbols, and see if you can come up with a few more. I am going to give you a few starters for you to create your own symbols, but you will have to do the majority on your own. Here are your first 4, and the rest you will have to
187 create as mentioned on the previous page. with at least 6 more of them. List Number 11 Create Your Own Symbols 1. Slogan. Come up with a three-word slogan to best describe you. Here are some examples: Short-ButSignificant, Hot-Yet-Humble, Middle-aged-n'-Crazy. Write out THREE of your 3 word slogans now: Come up
2. Pimp Name. If you were a pimp, what would your Pimp Name be? Watch American Pimp for inspiration.
3. Wrestler Name. If you were a Professional Wrestler, what would your Wrestler Name be?
4. In the box, draw your own representative Logo:
188 List Number 12 List 10 Movies That Inspired You I normally really, really, REALLY hate using media as references for the development of going from Loser to Seducer. But, there are a few exceptional movies that I will watch again, again and again, because they are inspiring. Some of my personal favorites are Fight Club, the documentary American Pimp, Rudy, The Muppet Movie, It's Wonderful Life, The Pursuit of Happyness to mention a few. They all center on themes of discovery, Alpha-ism, persistence, chasing a dream, goal setting, personal development, and making a difference. I would rather watch a few inspirational movies over and over, than to watch a thousand different movies that try to hypnotize me into mass consumption. So let's limit your exposure to mass consumption by listing the only 10 movies you are going to repeatedly watch over the next few months, while you fill out the writing exercises in this book.
List 10 Movies That Inspired You
12345678-
10-
189
List Number 13 and 14 List people thai hold you forward back, and push you
This is hopefully going to be clear for you. For List 13: I want you to write out the names of 5 (five) people that in the past have gotten in your way when it came to being successful with women. These could include family, so-called friends, or women in your life. For List 14: I want you to write out the names of 5 (five) people that in the past have actually HELPED you become more successful with women. Again, these could include family, friends, or mentors in your life.
List 13
List 5 People that have BLOCKED your success with w o m e n
12345-
List 14
List 5 People that have ENCOURAGED your success w i t h w o m e n
1234-
5Now that you have these written down, the action to take is for you to spend LESS time with List 13 people, and MORE time with List 14 people. That is all, and that is EVERYTHING.
190
List Number 15 and 16 List things you are doing where y o u are NOT meeting single w o m e n , and things you could be doing to meet single women. This is hopefully going to be clear for you too. For List 15: I want you to write out the things you are doing that prevent you from meeting new single women. In my case it was studying genealogy, hanging out with married-only friends, and staying at home. For List 16: I want you to write out the things you could be doing to meet new single women. Things like taking a dance class, speed dating, or putting up an online profile. List 15 List 5 t h i n g s you are doing w h e r e you are NOT meeting single w o m e n
12345List16 List 5 t h i n g s you could be do doing to meet single women
12345Now that you have these written down, the action to take is for you to spend LESS time on List 15 things, and MORE time with List 16 things. Again, that is all, and again that is EVERYTHING.
191 List Number 17 List 10 emotions that you want a w o m a n to be able to experience with you. This is going to be a useful process. Firstly, I want you to list 10 distinct emotions that you want women to experience with you. Examples are: happiness, love, comfort, attraction, lust, etc. Obviously as these are emotions you WANT her to ENJOY, you will stay away from emotions like boredom, sadness, disappointed, and being neutral. I am going to give you the first one (the most mild) and you will work your way to the last one (the most extreme) of passionate lust. So get to it. Remember to let these emotions that you choose build from Curiosity to Passionate Lust. The point of this exercise is to remind you of what you want her to feel, and keep on track about what emotions to avoid. This is also to understand your OWN process of arousal.
List 10 emotions that you want a w o m a n to be able to experience with you. 1-Curiousity 234567-
8-
10-Passionate Lust
192
Super Writing Exercise: The Punishing Myself Exercise This is for those guys that know their stuff, but are not getting consistent results, or have caught themselves self-sabotaging, or are in the mist of Creative Avoidance. If this does not apply to you, then skip this, and move on to the next one. Why am I punishing myself? I was asked this by one of my mentors. It was during my first years in development I was getting good, but still not getting consistent results yet. Maybe it comes down to feeling worthy of change? Is it all an issue of deservedness? This question really forced me to think. He even made me get in front of the mirror and ask myself, "Why am I punishing myself?". I had no answer. I asked myself that again that night No answer, also no sleep. The following morning I was flooded with angry thoughts, and rage related emotions. So I grabbed some paper and a pen and WROTE DOWN about 30 reasons to the question "Why am I punishing myself?". It was an interesting exercise, and it helped me vent some of the rage, but I was at a loss. So I emailed another different mentor of mine and told him about what I had done with the first mentor. This second mentor told me to do the following: List no more than the first 7-10 reasons that came to my mind. What I was suppose to do was just write down the first few, and then for each reason, write down the reason I was punishing myself for each of the first 7-10 reasons I gave. Then I was to continue the process UNTIL I had narrowed it down to 1 or 2 underlying reasons for the whole thing. Once you get that far, it is those 1-2 reasons that should be the focus of your change work, as they are the reasons for all your blocks and self-sabotaging behaviors.
193
Well I did it. It took me a few weeks actually. I kept getting stuck, and all my demons were coming out on paper. It was a VERY unpleasant month, but I toughed it o u t At the end of all of that, I wrote out (a number of times given it was the source of my multiple pains) what I was struggling with. Once I had that, I was able to take actions towards dealing with it, including seeing a therapist for one particular demon. This exercise was one of the most painful, and I was not the most pleasant person to be around that month, but it was a necessary part of my healing. Just an FYI: my source of pain was the religious ideology that I was born a sinner, and thus did not deserve to be happy. I stopped going to church when I was in my early teens, but as an adult it was still there, hiding in the bowels of my unconscious mind. What a mind-fuck. I have done exactly this exercise with some of my clients. The results vary from guy to guy. For some guys, the issue of punishing themselves has to do with feeling like they have not properly earned the successful lays and love they get. Like getting a great super lady, a great super success... per haps too early in your development? Their guilt steps in and they ruin the good things going on for them. For other guys, what's holding them back is maybe they are addicted to the bad drama of unhealthy relationships that they are so used to. That somehow, without all the drama just like their previous relationships, that just having pleasant fun free happy sex seems somehow anti-climactic. It is this desire for drama that creates the inner conflict, which divides a man to destroy the good things that come in his life. For some men, maybe you feel deep down that you havent "earned" the sex yet because you are used to having to go through lots of work. In other words, she is "too high quality" a.k.a. 'low maintenance chick" and you are sabotaging it by being less attracted to her.
194
Maybe you are just attracted to high-maintenance chicks, and she is just too calm and good quality for you. You put too much value too soon, and without the drama element, I think you feel deep down that you don't yet deserve to have what will be your crowning achievement in your development to-date. Inner game issues will do it every time. If you have read my other books, then you know that my philosophy is that in the relationship, SHE gets to have drama, but you don't. You don't get to enjoy the drama, because you must LEAD the relationship. You're a man, and that's your job. For those of you reading this, I will present a modified version of the exercise that you just read about, but this time, it will be specifically dealing with being addicted to drama. Here it is: When you feel an emotion and you want to deconstruct it, here is what was taught to me. Write down the emotion(s) you want to explore. No more than say 3-5. Then for each one, write down the reason you feel it. Then a reason for the reason, and so on. Eventually you will find one underlying reason for those emotions. That is how I did it. This is a really personal and gut wrenching writing exercise. I have left the next page entirely blank for you to write it out. Please make use of it.
195
196 List Number 18 List 10 Things A High Value M a n DESERVES This is really MAJOR inner game work right here. What are some things that a high value man DESERVES? On my own personal list I have written that a high value man deserves great sex, to have the woman he is with to desire to bear his children, and to live out all of his sexual fantasies. Other things include: to have his reputation defended by his women, and to feel respected by the people in his social circle. These things may seem obvious, but they are not. They are about your realistic expectations, and what boundaries you have set so that you do not feel violated. When a guy gets violated on these, are you man enough to do something about it, like walk away or confront the issue? Not so obvious actually. On these I based my emotional needs theory for men. Each man needs his own starting point. So start now...what do you deserve as a high value man?
List 10 Things A High Value Man DESERVES
12345678-
10-
197
List Number 19 List 10 Things A High Value Woman DESERVES Now we are turning the tables' boys. It is way too easy in most of the inner game self development theory to get caught up in becoming so Alpha, that men forget that RELATIONSHIPS with women are an exchange of give and take, and not just about what men can get from women. The point of this list is to remind men to be giving in relationships too. So, what are some things that a high value woman DESERVES? On my own personal list I have written that a high value woman deserves great sex, to fully enjoy a cock, and to live out all of her sexual fantasies. Other things include: to have her reputation protected, and to be protected from violence. If you are really stuck on this one, please refer to my book Everything Out Of Her Mouth is a Test about Women's Emotional Needs. It will have what you are looking for. So then, what does she deserve as a high value woman?
List 10 Things A High Value W o m a n DESERVES
12345678-
10-
198 List Number 20 List 10 Reasons why Women NEED M e n Even prostitutes need pimps. These women get more than enough dick on a regular basis, thus they get all the sex and money they need, yet even prostitutes seek out relationships with men, and end up with pimps (who are of the few rare men out there that can handle the sexuality and lifestyle of being with a prostitute). Prostitutes do not "NEED" pimps. Women could manage their own financials. Prostitutes are usually in control of male clients because these women control their clients like a mother controls her sons. What these girls want is love. They want a relationship. No one, not even prostitutes want to live out life alone. How does this apply to you? If even a prostitute that gets male attention for money all the time, STILL seeks out relationships, that is proof that on some level women NEED men. This list is to remind guys how important to women a relationship with a man is. So, get cracking:
List 10 Reasons why W o m e n NEED Men
12345678-
10-
199
List Number 21 List 10 Things A Man must improve on with women This one might be a shot to the ego of some of your readers. This list is your reminder that you never get to stop and relax. You ALWAYS need to be bettering yourself when it comes to seducing women, even if you have been with the same woman for years. In this list, pick those things that you must forever be learning. In these things, there is always room for improvement, and this list is your guide. My own list has things like: Find new ways to make her orgasm, and design new fantasy for her to live out. That first one is so important, that I am including in your list for you. Now, you come up with the rest Go for it List 10 T h i n g s A Man must i m p r o v e on with w o m e n 1-Find new ways to make her have an orgasm 2345678910-
200 List Number 22 List 10 Things Y o u Should NEVER say to a w o m a n For this one, I am going to give you my FULL list that I started with. It has grown since then. Although this list applies to the time BEFORE you have sex with her, there are some things you should never tell a woman EVER, nor should you even bring it up, even after you bang her. My list included: Never reveal your male friends secrets to her, you do not tell them that you are a seducer-in-training UNTIL you evoke significant change, no self deprecating humor, no talk about "who" you fucked, sexual dry spells (i.e. no mention that you went sexless for X yrs), whatever sexual experiences you have not had yet, your use of prostitutes or call girls (never indicate you paid for it), no talk about the evils of your ex's or how they hurt you so bad, never say, "Don't Leave Me?', your suicide attempts (if any), nor wine about your negative experiences. Now then, your turn:
List 10 T h i n g s You Should NEVER say to a w o m a n .
12345678-
10-
201
List Number 23 List 10 Vulnerabilities to be framed as Strengths There are things you never tell a woman, and there are things you HAVE to address. This list is to prepare you for the tests she is going to throw at you to see just how together you feel on the inside. If you are short, fat, handicapped, have a speech impediment, come across socially awkward, or have an unusual hobby; this is your chance to turn her criticisms into an attraction tactic. Whatever your weakness or vulnerabilities are, they can be used to block you in a seduction, or they can be used to help you. I always had to re-frame my weight either as a form of brute strength or as a means to qualify her to see if she was superficial. It was ALWAYS an issue, but how I handled it was the difference between getting laid, and being alone. You would not believe the shit I have been told by women. Fuck, it hurt The best remedy for that kind of pain is your dick in her mouth. You MUST be ready for it
List 10 Vulnerabilities to be framed as Strengths
12345678-
10-
202 List Number 24 List 10 T h i n g s you MUST tell a w o m a n There are some things that you must ALWAYS say to women. There are things you can say in general, or about yourself that is exceptionally attractive, that you must keep in mind to mention to a woman in your first few conversations with her. One guy I know always finds a way to introduce the fact he used to be filmed in porno movies. This works for him to create attraction and intrigue in the girls he approaches. The two sexiest phrases I personally have learned to utter to woman are: "I'm a man, that's my job" and "Stop Mothering Met' Those two have worked so well, that I am going to include them in the list for you. Another for me is "You want Respect Show Respect'. You know you have something of value to say but it is not always easy to remember them on the spot. So write them down in this list, and always have them handy, from now on.
List 10 T h i n g s you MUST tell a w o m a n 1- I'm a man, that's my job 2- Stop Mothering Me! 3-
45678-
10-
203 List Number 25 List 10 Of Your B e s t Pick-Up Lines In the spirit of the direction of these lists, there is no shortage of pick-up lines a man can use. All pick up lines work. However, they do not work for all guys using them. Even the worst pick up line will still be useful, if the girl already likes the guy, or if he knows how to deliver it, and it is congruent with the rest of his game. The point here is that as you experiment with all the pick up lines out there, you will find as you develop into a seducer, or pick up artists that some pick up lines work better than others for you. It is important that you keep a fresh record of which ones actually work for you. With each one you write, you must GO OUT AND PRACTICE IT. If it works for you, leave it one the list. If not, erase it and write in another UNTIL you have all 10 working for you. It does not count unless you have used it successfully and it has gotten you a solid response.
List 10 Of Your Best Pick Up Lines
12345678-
10-
204 As a follow up to finding your best pick up lines, I want to impart some writings that I did a long time ago during my development about the process of creating your OWN PERSONALIZED PICK UP LINES AND OPENERS. Here is that article: This is something that I EVENTUALLY did naturally, but it took the use of popular canned material before I got this far to understand the structure. H o w To Create Personalized Openers The danger in using canned openers or someone else's great pick up line is that you may get called on it. In other cases, some guys cannot stand to use another's material. I am in that second category. When I started out, I only used other guys' material, UNTIL I created my own. Other guys' material is a place to start, but not a place to finish. Here is my solution. Write down the following 15 statements: 5 beliefs about what it means to be a man 5 beliefs about what it means to be a woman 5 beliefs about men and women dynamics
Now here is how you turn it into an opener that is personalized. In most cases, you may not yet know what you believe; only what you are suppose to believe. Part of your development into seducers is to figure out who you are (read = What you believe about Men, Women and Relationships). Start with what you think you believe, and then use those beliefs in your openers. You are actually fieldtesting your beliefs AND you are TOTALLY 100%
205 CONGRUENT with your game. (Because you really, REALLY want to know what they think). Get it? Lets say you have the following beliefs: 1-To be a real man means never to pay for a woman unless you sleep with her first 2-To be a real woman, she must really want to have kids, and is incomplete without children 3-To be in a relationship the man must decide on the big things, the woman on the small thing. Now turn these into personalized openers: Hey guys, I only have a couple of minutes, and need a quick female opinion... 1-Do you think a man should pay for a woman on a date if they have not had sex yet? 2-Do you think a woman MUST have children in order to feel complete in life? 3-Should the man be responsible for all the major decisions, and the woman be responsible for the small stuff, or what? These are simplistic examples, but I think you guys get the idea.
So, can you guess the next 4 lists are going to be? That's right. Give me: 5 beliefs about what it means to be a man (List 26) 5 beliefs about what it means to be a woman (List 27) 5 beliefs about men and women dynamics (List 28) Then one list of 15 opinion openers you can create from
them. (List 29)
List 26 List 5 beliefs about what it means to be a man
12345List 27 List 5 beliefs about what it means to be a w o m a n
12345List 28 List 5 beliefs about men and w o m e n dynamics
12345-
List 29
Create 1 5 Personalized Openers from List 26-28 5 Openers based on List 26
123455 Openers based on List 27
67-
105 Openers based on List 28
1112131415-
208
List Number 30 List 10 Best Response to "I have a boyfriend" Many times, a woman will tell a man that is trying to pick her up that she has a boyfriend, and it is actually NOT TRUE. It is just a TEST. It is an automatic response, because she is just trying to weed out the low value males. Many times when women give a man that line, and the man still pursues her, he still might get with her, only to find that either she did not really have a boyfriend, or that she is willing to cheat under the right circumstances. This exercise is going to take some extra work for you dear student. I want you to go to my list of women's 10 emotional needs, either in this book, or my other books, and I want you to write 10 responses to, "I have a boyfriend", with each one addressing a different emotional need. Although this is work, I am confident that you will be remarkably pleased with the results this exercise will get you in the real world.
List 10 Best Response to "I have a boyfriend"
12345678-
10-
209 List Number 31 List of the Different Categories of Women in your life Whoo-boy, this one is a biggie gents. One of the biggest failings of low value men is their lack of ability to spend the time needed to Qualify women into the various categories of women in his mind, that each man has in his life. In fact, most men do not even have categories for the women in their life. This is a BIG cause of the lack of real game by most males. There is no top ten here. Some men may only have two categories of women (fuckable and unfuckable), while other men have more than two categories (Wife, Mistress, One-Night-Stand Girl, Wouldn't-touch-her-witha-ten-foot-pole Girl). You MUST know what your categories of women are, and what qualities you seek for each one.
The place this will be MOST useful is when you are talking with a woman, and instead of running out of things to say to her, you can start to ask her questions based on the qualifications you have set out for the different categories of women in your life. By challenging her with your questions, you will quickly find out exactly what value she could bring into your life, what to expect from your time with her, and not waste time on her if she is not suited to what you are looking for. For example: let's say that you have different criteria for the type of women that you would have a one night stand with, as opposed to a woman that you would want a long term monogamous relationship with. Let's also say that one of your criteria is that, although you would have a one-night-stand with a woman that has a boyfriend; you would not get into a long-term relationship with a girl that cheated with you on her boyfriend. Then one day, you are at a lounge and meet a girl that you think is awesome. She seems like your ideal partner, and you get talking with her. Now it turns out she has a boyfriend. If you are a high value male, you will stick to your criteria, and the most you may allow is for the two of you to have a one-night-stand. Even though, you may FEEL like pursuing a long-term relationship with her, you
210
have already set your criteria, so that you will control your behavior as a man, and not permit yourself to get too involved with a woman long-term that is not right for you. In the above example, because you have your categories set, you will not end up wasting time trying to have a long-term relationship with a woman that you'd only have for a one night stand, nor will you waste any more efforts on her than is necessary is you find she is not up for a one night stand that night. It frees up your time to move on to other women that you would be more interested in pursuing that same night. I cannot tell you what categories you should have as a man. There are some men that I have met that would never participate in a one-night stand, while others refuse to even contemplate the idea of having one monogamous wife. What I can tell you is that, the more involved sexually you are with a woman, the more criteria you should have for her. The less sexually involved you are with her, then the less criteria she needs to prove herself to you for sex. A one night stand girl is the least sexually involved you can get with a woman (other than abstinence with her of course), and making her your monogamous wife would likely be an example of the most sexually (and EXCLUSIVELY) involved a man can be with a woman. So, if your criteria for a one-night stand are MORE than that of whom you would choose as a sexually exclusive wife, then you are seriously messed up dear reader. Here are some examples of categories of women that you can use as a resource; this is by no means complete or inclusive. Fuckable, unfuckable, one night stand girl, exclusive or non-exclusive, fuck buddy (FB), lover, girlfriend, casual sex between friends (CSBF), harem girl, multiple long term relationship, long term relationship, wife, Ex, off-limits, relative, co-worker, friend and colleague. You must decide for yourself which ones you believe in.
211
In my case, I use the following categories: Unfuckable (which covers relatives, women with STDs, and any woman that could negatively impact my ability to sustain my life, such as a co-worker woman that simultaneously has the power to fire me from a job. Also included here are women that have proven themselves to be unworthy of me by violating my emotional needs) Off-limits (the monogamous women partners of my friends) One night stand girls Lovers Non-exclusive harem girlfriends Harem Primary
Wife
The criteria that I have for the one-night stand women are less than the criteria I have for the wife category. There are certain criteria that apply to all my sexually involved categories of women (good hygiene is a MUST, and free from STDs). Then there are other things that I am more lax on (I would not marry a woman that smokes, but I would gladly have sex with one from one night stand to Non-exclusive harem girlfriends. Also, you may note that I have no category for female "friends". As it stands at the time of the publication of this book, I do not believe in female friends. I follow the When Harry Met Sally rule on malefemale friendships. Also, I have no category for "Ex", as if a woman changes her behavior, she can earn a place back somewhere in my hierarchy. I may use the term to define to others the nature of my relation to her, so that the people I talk to will understand what I mean, but in my personal hierarchy, there is no such thing as an Ex. Having these criteria helps do a few things. One is that when a woman wants to know what she can do to earn a higher place on the hierarchy, I am readily able to tell her exactly what she needs to do. This is both reassuring to her, and honest. The second thing it does is that it stops me from getting CARRIED AWAY with my
212
own emotions for a girl. It protects me such that, regardless of how she might make me feel, I maintain my stance, as my lifestyle must remain my focus in my role a the man of the relationship, and not how she makes me feel in the moment. If you have ever been in great relationships that you intellectually knew was not going anywhere long term, but that felt SO GOOD in the moment, then you know how difficult it can be to cut yourself loose from it, especially if you are in early or mid development. IMPORTANT: How do you know if something is a CRITERIA? It is when that thing you list is an ABSOLUTE. It means that the criteria is NONNegotiable. It is not a matter of your preferences. If you are in a different mood, it would not bother you. It is about listing those things that are the DEAL BREAKERS. If they are not deal breakers for you, then they are not criteria. It is now time for you to write out your list. What are the categories of women that you have in your life? How many categories do you have? 2 or 10? For the purposes of ease, I will list 10 spots, but if you need more than 10, please do write them in on the page, or on a separate sheet of paper. Next to each category, write in a 1 or 2 line description of the category but no more than that. Do NOT write in the criteria for those categories. That will come later in the next series of lists. For now, just give me the headings of your categories, and I will meet you in the next list, once you are finished here. Space will be left at the bottom of the list, in the event you have more than 10 categories.
213 List Number 31 List The Different Categories of W o m e n in your Life
123456-
7-
10-
214
The remaining lists for this section will be for you to write out your criteria for certain types of sexually involved relationships you may have with women. They will include one night-stand girl; fuck buddy, wife, and a few others. Write in your TOP criteria for each. If the category of woman simply does not apply to you as you may be against pre-marital sex in any form, or you are a marriage hater and refuse to ever get married, then simply write: Not Applicable at this time, on the page. You may feel differently about what is and is not applicable to you as you continue your Inner Game development. It may not be possible to write EVERY criteria you have, as since you are still learning about yourself, you will probably come back to it and modify it accordingly. Also, you may experience things during your development that will further make you rethink your rules. For example: during the period of my life where I experimented with Total Open Relationships, one of my girlfriends went and had a threesome with a married couple. I knew about it, and was OK with it...until I learned A WEEK AFTER THE FACT, that the husband did NOT USE A CONDON, and he came inside her. That experience, which put me, and my other lovers at risk, and which put me into a self-imposed 8 month sexless exile until I got tested to make sure I was clean changed my thinking on open relationships where my girlfriend gets to be penetrated by another man. Sometimes it takes THAT kind of experience to put your criteria into perspective. I will give you the first few, but you will need to fill in the titles of the remaining lists, based on your List Number 3 1 .
215
List Number 32 List Your Top 10 Criteria For An Unfuckable Girl These are women that you avoid like the plague. For me this includes minors, drunk chicks, women addicted to narcotics, dumb women, the mentally imbalanced (if she needs meds, I don't need her), women who have deeper connections with pets over people, women who are already seduced, by another seducer, women with overly religious philosophies, off limits woman, and for me, the big one is women that violate my male emotional needs. (For more about men's emotional needs check out my upcoming book for women readers about the emotional needs of men, which teaches women how to get a high value male to commit and teaches high value males how to qualify for high value females. (Remember these must be ABSOLUTES for you, and not preferences that you would change on the spot)
12345c
78-
10-
List Number 33 List Your Top 10 Criteria For A One-Night Stand Girl (Remember these must be ABSOLUTES, and not preferences that you would change on the spot)
12345678-
10-
217 List Number 34 List Your Top 10 Criteria For A Regular Fuck Buddy (Remember this would automatically already include all the criteria of your One Night Stand Girl. You only need to list what additional criteria you seek for this category)
123-
4-
5-
6-
7-
8-
9-
10-
218
List Number 35 List Your Top 10 Criteria For A Non-Exclusive Harem Girlfriend (Remember this would automatically already include all the criteria of your One Night Stand Girl, and a Regular Fuck Buddy. You only need to list what Additional criteria you seek for this category)
12-
3-
4-
56-
7-
10-
219 List Number 36 List Your Top 10 Criteria For A Primary Girlfriend (Remember this would automatically already include all the criteria of your One Night Stand Girl, a Regular Fuck Buddy, and a Non-Exclusive Harem Girlfriend. You only need to list what Additional criteria you seek for this category)
12-
3-
4-
56-
7-
10-
220 List Number 37 List Your Top 10 Criteria For A Wife (Remember this would automatically already include all the criteria of your One Night Stand Girl, a Regular Fuck Buddy, a Non-Exclusive Harem Girlfriend, and Primary Girlfriend. You only need to list what Additional criteria you seek for this category)
12-
3-
4-
56-
7-
10-
221
List Number 38 List Your Top 10 Goals Name 5 short-term goals to be completed by the time you reach the Seducer level, and 5 long-term goals when you become a Master Seducer or Natural. For short-term, do you want a threesome? A polydate? Your first one night stand? Do you want a harem of lovers, and if so, how many? Long-term goals include: Do you want to end up married with children? Is there someone you lost in your past that you want a long-term relationship with? Do you want to have the swinger lifestyle in your 50s? Knowing what your short-term, and long-term goals are is a good indicator if you are steadily on the right path. They offer a clarity that is focused energy, which propels ACTION. List Your Top 10 Goals Short-Term Goals
12345Long-Term Goals 67-
8-
10-
222 List Number 39 List Your Top 10 S o d a l Circles A Social Circle is a group of friends and colleagues that you interact with on a regular basis. It is important for a man to know his social circles, and his ROLE in each circle. In some circles, you are a leader, and in other circles you are a follower. If it turns out you do not have enough social circles, start CREATING THEM, with all those phone numbers and emails that never turned into sex dates. One of the biggest mistakes men in development make is that they drop all their existing social circles, and replace them all with only one circle: The circle of guys that they study seduction development with. This is BAD. There is no way a man will ever reach Master Seducer levels, nor will he ever find redemption if his ONLY circle of friends are just his seduction studies buddies. Your circle of friends should be varied, and should NOT be mixed UNTIL you earn some sufficient skill. So write out your social circles (give each one a name) and your role of that circle next too each. Mine included FrankTalks show related (producer), college friends a.k.a C&P Gang (contact guy), radio friends a.k.a Zoners (follower), swinger group (swinger), MovieMakers (Actor), etc...Now start writing. List Your T o p 10 Social Circles
1234-
5678-
910-
223 List Number 40 List Your 10 Criteria For Rating Women What is a "10" for you? How do you know a girl is a "10"? How do you know she is a "5" for the matter, or an "8.7"? This is completely subjective. A "3" for one guy, could be an "8" for someone else. Some guys take into account her looks, her mind, and her heart, and other guys just factor it on the looks. The fact is, it does not matter what anyone else thinks what she is. What matters is what YOU think she is. I use my method of rating women as a calibration tool as part of my structure of game (which you will read in the next chapter). Other guys just use this as an indicator of how much effort they are going to put into their attempts to bed her, and yet other guys just use rating women as a method to communicate to his friends, how good looking she. It is up to you. Part of being a man is to know what your rating system is based on. So start with your "10", and work your way down to what a " 1 " is. "10" being the best, and " 1 " being the worst. Now, list your 10 Criteria for Rating Women
10987-
5-
4321-
224
CHAPTER 4 10 Stages of Development

From Loser with Bad Instincts
To Seducer With Good Instincts
To Natural with Great Intuition

225 Introduction I was an average guy, who hit rock bottom, and had to build myself up from ground zero again. In my own process of development, and in the study of those I developed with, have learned from, and have taught, I have accumulated these 10 stages of development, in order to track my own course, and to help me categorize the men I help through their stages. I present them to you here in this book, so that you may find yourself, and know that you are not alone on this journey of change. The 10 Stages of Development: These are in some form of order, but switching from one stage to another may not be linear, and at least one stage may never occur for some men (the stage of redemption). The Starting Stages 1. The Dead-Man 2. The Loser 3. The Average Guy The In-Training Stages 4. The Beginner Seducer-in Training 5. The Mid-Range Seducer-in-Training 6. The Learned Seducer-in-T raining The Mastery Stages 7. The Redeemed - Moment of Redemption 8. The Seducer 9. The Master Seducer The Final Stage 10. The Natural 10a) The Lived Natural 10b) The Learned Natural
226 The Starting Stages 1. Dead-man Being the Dead-man is based on a simple formula: Loser Minus Hope - Dead-Man Hope is what keeps the loser alive. Without it, the loser gives into suicide. That is part of what makes a loser so unattractive. He is too close to being dead. A loser at rock bottom, or close to it, is like the walking dead. If you are a loser when it comes to women, please understand, that the worst part of your existence is NOT your lack of intuition with women. The worst part of the existence of a loser is how close to suicide you actually are. You just do not know it yet because you have not yet hit that rock bottom. I have been there, and although denial can prolong your life, it cannot save you when you hit rock bottom. Only a commitment to taking action to change will do that, and unless you are able to make that commitment, you may very well die.
Dead-man Pain: Well, the Dead-man does not feel any pain. Actually, the Dead-man does not feel anything at all. No love, no joy, not anything, but the people that the Dead-man leaves behind feel pain. They are in LOTS of pain. No, the people around him are NOT better off with him gone. That is a foolish assumption. If you are a loser, then consider that your opinions on other people as FLAWED. That premise which makes you a loser also means that you can not trust your own assumptions about your death. Period. Part of being a man means to deal with, handle, and vanquish your pain. That is your option being alive. But the Dead-man has no options. Dead-man Sex: A Dead-man never gets to have or enjoy sex. If he were alive, he always has the chance to get lucky, or become skilled and learned at getting sex. That is your option being alive, but the Dead-man has no options.
Dead-Man and Seduction Persona: The Dead-man has no seduction persona. He owns nothing, has
227 nothing, and cannot ever earn anything. He is dead. If the Dead-man had developed a persona when he was alive, chances are that he would not have ever ended up dead right now. Developing a seduction persona is your option to being alive. But the Dead-man has no options. Dead-man and Q u i t t i n g : The Dead-man does not quit the process of development The Dead-man IS the result of a quitter. Are you a quitter? Then you're dead. As long as you do not quit the game altogether, you ALWAYS have other options for relationship, but the Dead-man has no options. Dead-man and Ability to Communicate With W o m e n : He has NONE. He is dead. If he were alive, he would always the chance to become skilled at communicating with women. That is your option being alive, but the Dead-man has no options. Dead-man and Love: Non-applicable. Dead men do not feel love. You always have the hope to find love as long as you are alive. That is your option being alive, but the Dead-man has no options. Dead-man and Female Friends: Dead men have no friends (male or female). There are only the people the dead man left behind in more pain, than he was ever in himself. Dead-man is the result of a self-centered individual, and all self-centered individuals, just like bullies, end up ALONE. If he were alive, he could develop into the kind of man that can form real deep connections with incredible people he draws into his life. That is your option on being alive, but the Dead-man has no options. Dead-Man and Vibe Frequency: Non-applicable. He vibes only what is left of his corpse. That is not an attractive vibe. Suicide is the Enemy of the Seducer; Do Not Betray.
228 The Starting Stages 2. The Loser The Loser believed in a system that was never meant for him. He listened to feminism that told him to be a nice guy; he grew up on the romantic happily ever after stories, assuming the romance was meant for him too. He believed in a system that was destined to fail for him, because he is a man, and the system was meant for women. He has the expectation that women should think and act like men do, and he is unable to cope with reality. The Loser has a victim-based mentality. Loser and Pain: The pain that a Loser experiences includes: when he is so hooked on one girl that she consumes his thoughts, the feelings of being helpless and controlled, the regular bouts of despair and hopelessness, loneliness, utter frustration, reliance on the hope of things turning out the way they "should" be, the inability to deal with how things actually are, the anger at the injustice they feel, the knowing some other guy is fucking the girl he wants, turning women off, the love starved and touch starved misery of the day-to-day. Loser and Sex: Sex hurts. It is a bigger source of pain than it is of pleasure. Notwithstanding the orgasmic pleasure of the physical act, all other aspects the Loser associates with sex causes pain. Many Losers go into a self-imposed sexual exile or pay for it semi-regularly. Loser and Seduction Persona: The Loser does not even have a base persona, never mind a seductive persona. Loser looks to survive only, not interested in building a seducer lifestyle. Most Losers totally HATE seducers; just like how many poor people hate the rich. The hate usually stems from jealousy, or a belief that the poor Loser could never be a rich seducer himself. Loser and Quitting: The Loser quits when he hits rock bottom when the pain of remaining a loser is too great Then the choice is clear. Suicide-or-Seducer-in-training. If he feels there is some hope of change, he starts the journey. If he feels there is no hope left, he kills himself.
229 Loser and Ability to Communicate to W o m e n : He is a Loser PRECISELY because he has no real ability to communicate with women. The Loser usually ends up here as a result of a traumatic experience (divorce, break up, constant rejection) or a traumatic upbringing in which he did not have the tools or knowledge to properly act or react with women. Loser and Love: Losers are unable to have lasting love. The Loser seeks more of a mother figure in the women they date, than a lover. This violates women's emotional needs, and keeps the Loser a lonely man. Part of the problem is that Loser adopt many beliefs that were meant for women such as the first time must be special, the most important thing is how she makes him feel, and the desire to be taken care igniting the fear of abandonment Loser and Friends: The Loser's female friends do not find him attractive enough to have sex with him. They find him so unattractive that they will not even set up blinds dates with her girlfriends, but the Loser keeps these female friends around in the HOPES she will change her mind, or magically fall in love with him. Most female friends end up using the Loser (Emotional Cookie Man Theory) as a therapist or for material acquisitions. They do not value the Loser as a man. His male friends keep the Loser around to feel superior to the Loser. Loser and Vibe Frequency: The Loser vibes Neediness and Desperation. There is no way a woman would ever feel special being around a Loser. His energy is draining on the people around him. His Greatest T o o l : When I was a Loser, my greatest tool was my pain. Pain to move away from. Ironically, it was the best motivator for the amount of work I needed to do to get to the Seducer stage. Watch Out!: The one thing the Loser must watch out for is his own self doubt and bad mood swings. They will sabotage him in ways he cannot predict Be strong.
230 The Starting Stages 3. Average Guy In my system, every guy starts off as an Average Guy, and depending on how they deal with what happens, it turns men into Losers, Average Guys or Naturals. A Loser who gets lucky tends to be considered a low level Average Guy. The Average Guys may struggle with their love life, pay for sex, but can occasionally get girlfriends, get married, have kids, get divorced, and move on. The Average Guy does not particularly feel victimized, and assumes that life must be what is it The Average Guy does not particularly favor the seducer lifestyle, but will fantasize about it. Average Guy and Pain: The Average Guy sometimes goes through the same pains as any man would in relationships. Mainly the Average Guy has different expectations of himself and out of relationships, which changes the way he feels about them. A traumatic event, or series of events might turn the Average Guy into a Loser. It does not take much. Average Guy and Sex: The Average Guy has an average sex life. Average Guys get laid, have girlfriends, and once in a while really get lucky. His greatest skill in his ability to get laid, is to settle and being content with an average sex life where he buys drinks, and dates just like most people. Average Guy and Seduction Persona: Not applicable. Average Guy and Quitting: A guy quits being Average if either he makes his way to the Natural Stage by learning through life experience from the time he is very young (maybe through an adolescence loss of virginity), or, he remains an average guy until some traumatic event in his later life turns him into a Loser. Average Guy and Ability to Communicate With W o m e n : Is Average. Average guys know that men and women are different; some more than others. All those cliches about how men will NEVER understand women apply to the Average Guy.
231
Average Guy and Love: The Average Guy can actually find love and can enjoy the pleasures of love. However, it is not Seducer love, it is still just chump love, and comes with its share of heartache. An Average Guy does not always get the girl he really wants, but settles for who wants him. As long as he does not get too attached to having any particular girl's love, he will be able to manage and maintain his relationship. If he gets too needy for her, he will start to act like a Loser. Average Guy and Friends: The Average Guy has Average male friends and also female friends, and like the Loser hopes that those female friends will turn around and magically fall in love with them. In some cases, the female friends may some Average Guys attractive enough to SETTLE DOWN WITH. This is after she has had her fun, and it is time to find a good husband to provide for her. If the Average Guy is a good provider he has a chance. Average Guy and Vibe Frequency: His vibe is based on his mood of the day, and how he feels about himself. If he is feeling good that day, his vide is attractive, and when he feels out of it, his vibe reflects it as well. Very Authentic, but he does not know how to be "On" for a date, so he has to be lucky that he is in a good state for his date, or his luck runs out. His Greatest T o o l : His ability to conform and follow what are generally considered good ideas to attract mates. Get a good job, have money, lose weight. When I was an average guy, my greatest asset was when I was able to lose weight and when I did, I was able to get girls to go out with me. Watch Out!: The one thing the Average Guy must watch out for is guys like me, that would gladly seduce his girl, even if only for a little while. It is easier than you think. If she has an average steady boyfriend or husband, she is not going to be thinking about condoms.
232 The In-Training Stages 4. The Beginner Seducer-in-Training The Beginner Seducer-in-training enters a period of total focus, and total study. He has discovered a whole new world, and wants to absorb everything. The challenge for him is that there are different schools of seduction that all work, but that all over there is contradicting information that must all be applied in situated manners. The Beginner adopts the rules of others in a state of trying to undo the damage of his past. Bouts of depression are still a plenty for the Beginner. He cannot work his way up to Average Guy, but he can settle for that stage. Get it? The Beginner and Pain: The pain the Beginner is in, is double. He is still dealing with the same pain of being a Loser, and added to that is the pain of learning new material that completely counters everything he thought he knew about sex, love and relationships. When I was at this stage I used that double pain as motivation, and channeled it into study. There were days that I thought I would never figure it out, but I had made the decision not to kill myself, so I forced myself to learn more. It WILL hurt MORE before it starts to feel better. The Beginner and Sex: The Beginner's challenge with sex is that he must develop a willingness to have sex and get used to the idea of sex as a necessary element in his seduction and love life. Love cannot be the goal. Learning must be the goal, and sex is KEY to learning. The Beginner and Seduction Persona: The Beginner is very heavy into study, and needs total focus to alter poor programming. The seduction persona is a prototype, which is the Beginners BEST tool for adopting strict new rules regarding behavior patterns in order to set in motion the change work. The Beginner and Quitting: If the Beginners are very conflicted with their new learning's and their upbringing they stop their development. The biggest reasons that I have seen are: religion and family interference. The idea of having sex seems to conflict with many
233 Beginners religious beliefs, and sometimes it is parents or other family members that step in and induce major GUILT trips on the wary Beginner. The Beginner and Ability To Communicate With Women: As long as he actually puts his new learning's into practice, he starts to get better positive feedback and results than he did at the Loser stage. If he does not put effort into new ways of communicating with women, he remains a Loser. The Beginner and Love: Same issues as a Loser. It's to early in the Beginner's development to have real love. The Beginner and Friends: The Beginner often makes the mistake of telling all of his friends about his development of Loser to Seducer thinking they will be happy for him, and support him. What actually happens is that he will get resistance, and some WILL turn on him for changing. Those that act supportive at first, will start to actively sabotage the Beginner once he starts to get to Mid-Range stage. Count on it, and do not count on your friends. Take it from a guy that made the same mistake, and helps and studies guys who also made this mistake. The Beginner and Vibe Freguency: Hope turns to excitement. It is a great feeling and what a fun time to be alive. This lasts between the time he makes the decision to change and finds the material to help him change, UNTIL he finds out how much work it is actually going to take to make the changes permanent (which for some beginners takes months). His Greatest T o o l : My Greatest Tool was my Brother Kermit Seduction Persona. It made my learning a LOT easier. Watch Out!: The one thing the beginner must watch out for is trying to learn too many things at the same time. Pick one thing, learn it, and THEN move to the second lesson. That is the most productive way long term.
234 The In-Training Stages 5. The Mid-Range Seducer-in-Training As the Mid-Range Seducer continues to learn, the social beliefs he had all of his life about relationships will be shattered. Depression is common. Shatter enough of them, and he starts to feel uneasy, questioning who he really is. More importantly, he wonders if he can ever really trust himself again. He will get into development for a time, until he has a couple of successes (like going for a girls phone number and getting it). That becomes proof that the material works, and what he believed in before does not. It can affect anyone's self image. The use of other people's seductive stories, routines, and even gimmicks is high in this category. As long as the material is not presented as own original experiences, then there is no issue of deceit. Other people's material is a good place to start, as the material is proven to work, and he needs to spend his time observing the proper reactions. The problems come up when other's people's material is ALL he does. He needs to come up with his own calibrated storytelling if he ever wants to move along in his development.
The Mid-Range Seducer and Pain: The real pain for the Mid-Range is how your environment will NOT be supportive. Your environment of family, co-workers and friends will act hurt. It's not a pleasant thing for them to see someone succeed because it reminds them of their own inadequacies. This is when the Mid-Rangers start to seek out new male friends who are on a similar path. The Mid-Range Seducer and Sex: Very few Mid-Range Seducers get sex, unless they are very good-looking, or very lucky. If dedicated, the mid-range can get laid, but it is not a 100% skill-based lay as there is usually another factor involved like alcohol, or some other angle. What are new are the willingness to have sex, and just enough skill and luck to present the opportunity for it. The Mid-Range Seducer and Seduction Persona: The Mid-Range experiences high levels of experimentation. More often than not, the learning process covers what does NOT work for him. He gets lots of rejection from
235 his advances. Very frustrating as getting lucky does not count towards development. The Seduction Persona is still an outside character unmerged with the Mid-Ranger. He is able to apply some of his knowledge and is getting part results (dates, kissing, make outs, but no sex). With each new relationship, he takes it a bit further, and then fucks it up. Merged Instincts at 25% for development. The Mid-Range Seducer and Quitting: Highest quit percentage of all the Stages. Quits when he realizes the amount of work that the change actually takes. This is not a fad. This is a lifestyle change, and once a guy realizes this, he has to make a choice. Walk away now, as he has not put in more than a few weeks or months of effort, or commit like crazy, and block out all other distractions UNTIL he gets it. Some guys still linger on and even buy more seduction products, but they have long stopped the effort, and have simply become a collector of material. If this depressive frustration does not make him quit, it will be his environment. The Mid-Range Seducer and Ability to Communicate With W o m e n : It is very erratic. Depending on what new communication technique he is using, and if he has learned to use it properly, he might be getting such mixed results that he ends up having no real idea what works for him, until he starts using the same material and gets consistence results. The Mid-Range Seducer and Love: His new leanings through enacting experience, challenges his notions of romance and of love happening naturally. At this stage he is starting get some physical affection, and is sparsely dating. The attention from women though is a welcome change from his previous existence. The Mid-Range Seducer and Friends: As the MidRanger's skills accumulate, he WILL lose some friends, because they might not like his new personality or they might be envious of his success. Lastly, his old friends might not be able to keep up with him, or try to USE him to meet girls through him. Once you get good at relationship management, your friends will not be able to relate to what you say, but may ask you for advice; but
236
beware: If your friends misuse the advice they will BLAME YOU for "filling their heads with ideas". If you steer them right, they resent your ability to change for the better. It will happen. Trust me. Chances are that you will eventually drop them once you get good with women. If your friends are still the same male losers or female users they were before your development, you will struggle to like them once your development is advanced. The Mid-Range Seducer and Vibe Frequency: Still the same vibe, some excitement, but fear and Frustration have settled in. It manifests itself as not being patient enough, jumping the gun on a seduction, and tempers exploding. His vibe, like his emotional state and communication skill, is erratic. His Greatest Tool : The Mid-Range needs to make use of the fact he was an emotional Loser, as it now makes him better capable of understanding a woman's emotional reality. Sometimes the worst of Losers make for the best of seducers for exactly this reason. The art of calibration, and understanding women's emotions, is where the Mid-Range has his strength. W a t c h Out!: The one thing the Mid-Range Seducer must watch out for is his environment. Each time he makes a step in the right direction and gets better results, it his ENVIRONMENT, usually his family, friends, school, work (outside factors) that start to block him from development. Another challenge for the mid-range seducer is that without regular sex, he is in danger of the advanced seduction knowledge he studies. Having sex is key to solidify his learning. At this stage, sex is not regular, and that leads him to wrongly interpret the knowledge, and thus make WRONG CONCLUSIONS. Every seducer must make sense of the learning's in his own way, but without sex to verify his understandings of his new social education, he is going to make huge errors in creating his own seduction philosophies, and he will be worse at getting laid than an average guy.
237 In-Training Stages 6. The Learned Seducer-in-Training The Learned Seducer-in-Training has at least had his first lay, without relying on any luck. It is 100% based on his new learning's that were put into action. If he has only done learning, but has not had penile-vagina penetration sex to prove his learning, he is unable to ever get past this stage. He has battled a number of his inner demons that have kept him from sex and reaching his goals. He continues to have semi-constant success, but still has a learning curve and whose learning process is exponential. The most surprising element of this stage is that the growing resentment of his success starts as the Learned-Seducer starts to mourn for the former self that is dying off.
The Learned Seducer and Pain: At this stage, pain comes mostly from dealing with, and the acceptance of, the dark side of being a Seducer in the acceptance of sex, love and relationship truths. These include: Thinking you've got it going on well, and then finding it isn't, putting in all your of your time in learning and still not getting laid sometimes, trying a fool-proof new line or gimmick that is supposed to work and it backfires, dealing with more rejection in a short time than even a Loser gets (because a Loser does not even try), counting the number of opportunities you let pass by and reliving them, realizing the world is the way it is, not the way it should be, realizing everything you were taught about women prior to your development was wrong, finding out the truth about women and sex is maybe more than you can handle, remembering your past relationships and now spotting where you went wrong, feeling like so much time has already been lost, and how little is left, and the sheer exhaustion of wondering when or IF it's all going to work out for you. High streams of over-confidence mixed in with occasional self-doubting is normal at this stage. The Learned Seducer and Sex: A Learned Seducer-inTraining is getting laid regularly. You MUST have sex to reach this point. Mid-Range is the highest stage a man can achieve without penetration sex. All the theory in
238 the universe is meaningless, even if you know all the right answers to seduction-related questions, if you have not had sex based on your new knowledge of women. Even if you have a MASTER understanding of how to game women, you are still BELOW a Learned SeducerIn-Training. The Learned Seducer and Seduction Persona: At least 5 0 % (merged instinct) or more of the beliefs in the seduction persona chart are the same for both columns for the Learned Seducer stage. The Learned Seducer has at this point adopted certain beliefs as his own, and changed the way he thinks and interacts with women, and the world when it comes to relationships. He is still trying different lifestyles and relationship structures to see which suits him, but most of his core beliefs about people are now intact At this point, he may experiment with pushing boundaries by doing regrettable and decadent things just to see what happens. The Learned Seducer and Quitting: Some guys get out of the game at this point because they find a special woman, and want to get into a serious relationship. Any guy that has been on this path knows of at least one great girl he did not pursue in order to complete his development. He knows that if he gives in now, at best he will have a good average relationship with her, as many of his learning's are not yet solidified with experience, and being in a committed relationship will kill that learning curve. This is a hard choice to make. Very few men get past this. Most settle down as fast as they can. The Learned Seducer and Ability to C o m m u n i c a t e With W o m e n : Finally, he is able to communicate with women, on a level where a woman feels understood and feels special to him. He has incorporated all of his beliefs about how men and women are different, and uses that knowledge in his communication. In my development, this is where I mastered my emotional needs communications through storytelling, and direct commands and actions.
239 The Learned Seducer and Love: At this stage, the Learned-Seducer-in-Training has given up on his previous ideals of romantic love in place of solid communication tactic. For the time being, it is best for the Learned-Seducer to avoid it, as his learning curve requires him to stay focused on learning, and not distracted by his longing emotions. The Learned Seducer and Friends: At this point the Learned Seducer-in-Training has already dropped those friends (male and female) that were either holding him back or using him, and has replaced them with at least 2 new social circles of friends. Common mistake here for this stage is to make the other guys a Learned-Seducer studies group, and make it the one and only social circle he has. This will not work. If your only friends are other guys in development, you are failing in your development into a Seducer. Keep your social circles varied, and keep your seduction-study buddies at a decent distance. The Learned Seducer and Vibe Frequency: He no longer gets the needy desperate vibe because he is getting steady sex. It just keeps making him more attractive the more sex he gets. His Greatest Tool : In my case, it was my collective skill set. This included my apartment, and the way it was decorated, my own style of calibrated storytelling, and my ability to build social circles and make new friends. W a t c h Out!: It is Important to watch out for the relationship that usually get guys to quit at this stage. The relationship you find at this stage is NOT the one. It is your development exhaustion, mixed with your overconfidence. The learning curve is steep but hardly complete. That relationship you settle for will eventually put you right back where you left off, or worse. The Learned Seducer-in-Training must be mindful that his training is NOT YET COMPLETE, even if it feels that way sometimes.
240 The Mastery Stages 7. Redemption It's about reaching a certain G O A L Redemption can happen at any level. For some guys, it is when he makes the decision to go down this path. For others, it is a specific act from banging their 100" woman, to getting closure on the one that got away, to getting a threesome. And yet still, there are others that regardless of all the women they sleep with are still miserable and have no real happiness to show for in their lives. This happened for me at as the last leg of my training stages, where as a Seducer I had so changed from my days as an average guy/Loser. When a man conquers the last of the love-life demons of his past, and finds a point where he can forgive himself for all his past errors in love, he has found his personal Redemption. This signals the end of his past holding him back in the area of his love life. It can happen at any stage. Sadly for some men, including some of my most favorite mentors, it never happens.
Redemption and Pain: There is very little actual pain in achieving Redemption. There is lots of happiness and contentment. There is a sense of peace. The only pain at this stage is the pain associated with CLOSURE. Not the same pain as agony or torment, but a sadness that comes with the peace. It is about reaching a point where you can forgive yourself for the past, and can move on from a clean slate. It is the point of finding PEACE in this process. No longer feeling guilty. It is the beginning of the healing process. Redemption is sealed when the final actions have taken place to end connections to the past, and the healing process takes effect There may be some grieving to do afterwards, but the healing is all during the period of Redemption. My Redemption happened when I got my exfiance back and let her go again with closure. The healing started. I could forgive myself. Once I had completely forgiven myself, and all I had left to do was grieve.
241
Redemption and Sex: It is not about the sex. experiencing inner peace on the inside. It is about
Redemption and Seduction Persona: For me it happened when the seduction persona had merged instincts between 50%75% of what and who I was. Redemption and Q u i t t i n g : There is no quitting after Redemption. Either you achieve the goal you set out, and find peace, or you do not Some guys do not even know what goals achieved could ever give them a sense of Redemption. I mourn for those men. Redemption and Ability to Communicate With W o m e n : Redemption is about the way a man communicates to himself. It has nothing to do with the way he communicates to others. Redemption and Love: Redemption is the forgiving of oneself for the past, and being able to love yourself again. That is the Love associated with Redemption. Part of this SELF LOVE includes the loss of Nostalgia. A man no longer wishes he had accomplished this years ago. He accepts of the fact that he has this peace now, because he loves himself as he is, which includes the mistakes of his past, which helped build him today. Redemption and Old Friends: Not Applicable. Redemption and Vibe Frequency: PEACE Vibes all around. His Greatest T o o l : The NEW Friends circles of support. Getting closure, as healing as it is, is also draining. This is when my new circle of friends rallied around me, and gave me the support that I needed. Watch Out!: Must watch out for is his expectations of what Redemption will do for him. It can sometimes be anti-climatic, and the scars of closure will take time to heal. His grief will be for an undetermined amount of time.
242 The Mastery Stages 8. The Seducer At this stage, the Seducer spends most of his time restructuring his remaining goals as most of the others have all been met, and have changed him. He gets laid on a regular basis and as his persona further develops, he has to re-calibrate his game and make final revisions on his persona. It is usually at this stage that he starts to try to get different kinds of girls, or higher quality girls, and maybe even a wife. The challenge for him at this stage is working on those final elements of his game, and feeling like he STILL has a lot to learn, when in fact, he has learned almost everything he needs to know. The Seducer and Pain: Disillusionment is the pain of the Seducer. This stage finds the Seducer being resentful of his talents as the last of the Loser in him is dying. What is left of the Loser in him will not live to see the Master Seducer stage. Other pains at this stage include: realizing you maybe were never really in love with all those girls in your past because you may just have been too needy for them to begin with, feeling it is not you that women really love but your tactics, breaking more women's hearts than you'd ever thought possible to even date, feeling pity for the boyfriends and husband of the women you seduced, and learning all about women's sexual secrets first hand and finding out how much they actually hide. What I think is the ultimate karmic revenge of this lifestyle is being the "Bad Boy" makes you unable to ever fully trust a woman again and it conflicts with you still wanting to have one great relationship with a woman for yourself. Universal balance perhaps? The Seducer and Sex: Gets laid regularly, and recruiting new girls for sex and a relationship is now systematic and routine. The Seducer and Seduction Persona: The man and his person are still separate, but enough merged instincts (75% or more) that the line is blurry. The more of an entrenched Loser you
243 were, the more pain and disillusionment you will find at this stage of development. The Seducer and Quitting: If a guy makes it this far, he does not quit. The new way has become too much a part of him. He may slip and fall now and then, but he is aware of the process. At worse, he gets comfortable, and maybe gets married thinking he will quit the game. There is a danger is getting comfortable at this stage. Again, no one achieves greatness being comfortable. They learn soon enough that the game never ends, and that quitting is just never a real option. The Seducer and Ability to Communicate to W o m e n : He has to start putting effort into NOT turning on women. He has now started to venture on the good side of the canyon of pain, and he needs to start working at not attracting women, so that his male associates are not threaten by him. It's harder than you think. The Seducer and Love: At this stage, his perception of reality alters such that he doesn't see people falling in love anymore. He only sees the seduction behind couples getting together. The Seducer and Friends: Seducers make the best friends, as they're LESS likely to cheat with your wife or girlfriend. They aren't needy or desperate. They have the power of getting the women they really want, so he won't chance the friendship he values for sex. The Seducer and Vibe Frequency: He Vibes High Quality Sperm. He gets sex, and has the confidence from life experience that eluded him at earlier stages. His Greatest T o o l : My best learning tool at this stage was Teaching my seduction methods and philosophies to others. Watch Out I: In time, the Seducer will be able to believe in love again, if he continues to develop to the Master Seducer level, and the Loser in him completely dies.
244
The Mastery Stages 9. The Master Seducer The Loser has completely died; Long Live The Master Seducer! When a Master Seducer remembers those "Loser" periods in his life, it is like an actor that remembers playing a character role he once had in the movies. For those of you that have not done any acting...it is like you remember doing it, feeling it, living it, but it was not you, just a character you played. The memories of the old you seem like the memories of another person, or remembering a movie you watched. The Loser has died, and with that death, his resentment dies too. The Master Seducer and Pain: The pain of a Master Seducer is all about his life OUTSIDE the realm of love. He has to readjust the rest of his life. This means not being able to take the same jobs anymore, finding new ways to live to match the changes in his being. The only seduction-related pain of the Master Seducer is the unfair expectation put on him by his peers to be perfect. Master Seducers are human beings with all the faults a human being comes with. They make mistakes too, but it is taken so much worse by their peers and lovers when they make an error, because so much more is expected
of them.
The Master Seducer and Sex: He lives the reality of a hot chick. He gets all the sex he wants, as long as he puts in the effort to seek it out, but cannot always find LOVE. The fact is, finding "real love" actually becomes something special he seeks. The Master Seducer and Seduction Persona: The Master Seducer has Master Instincts. He still THINKS through his seductions, but his persona and his self have merged into ONE BEING. The man and the persona are now one. He is still able to articulate what he does that works. He does not particularly study new material, as he has found what already works for him. He gets consistent results with the knowledge he has. It is when what was the persona has now become the person, and
Frank Because-I-Have-To-Be Kermit 2006 www.FRAN KTALKS.com
244
245
what was the person is now a long forgotten persona. I am "Frank B Kermit". So much of who I am now started out as the experimental elements of Brother Kermit. Whatever parts of "Frank" are currently left are the remains of the attractive parts of the "Average Guy Frank" before I ever became a Loser. This is where there are 100% of the merged instincts of the persona and the former self. His instincts are of a Master, but he is not yet at the level of a Natural whose instincts give way to his INTUITION. The Master Seducer and Quitting: Not applicable at this level. The Master Seducer a n d Ability to Communicate With W o m e n : A Mater Seducer will always let a woman know exactly where he stands with her and what his intentions are. He never lies to women or misleads them as part of the seduction process. A Master Seducer doesn't make promises he is unable or unwilling to keep just for the sake of bedding a woman. He does not fear any possible resistance, or lack of affection due to his honesty. It is not about whether or not she is interested in him; it is now about if he is interested in her The Master Seducer and Love: The Master Seducer rediscovers that love does exist It is about feeling the LOVE, without experiencing the neediness that a Loser associates with love. He has reached the point where he can address all of a woman's emotional needs on a consistent basis. Now his focus is to find that woman that will address HIS emotional needs on a consistent basis. The thing I learned is that everything I studied in secret was not secret knowledge at all. It was the way the world actually works, and I was finally catching up. In the end, everybody always knew. What I learned is not new; it was just new to me. The Master Seducer and Friends: Has a hard time making decent friends. At this level, the Master Seducer has everybody wanting something, and usually wanting it without offering value in return. The Master Seducer learns to keep a certain distance with everyone, until he
245
246
is sure they are not just there to use him. Ironically, the Master Seducer who has the ability to make a quantity of friends easily struggles to find quality friends. The Master Seducer and Vibe Frequency: At this level, the vibe he gives off is constant confidence. It is the vibe of certainty of self that comes from the merging of the self and the seduction persona He is sure in himself that he can address a woman's emotional needs. It is more about being able to read the vibe others give off. He has stopped worrying about his own vibe, and is focused on reading the vibes of the people he encounters. His Greatest T o o l : His Inner Dork. At this level, some of those "Dork" behaviors that blocked him from getting laid in the past are now useful to making women feel he is attainable. This does not mean he acts like a Loser (he still must address her emotional needs) but at this level, his ability to communicate is so sophisticated, that he can bring back some of his boyish interests back (for example, adolescent excitement for sex, enthusiasm for his personal interests like cartoons, e t c . ) . Since his status is now perceived as high, he gets away with things that lesser developed seducers would turn women off. His inner "Dork" is the vulnerability that makes him human, and attractive. W a t c h Out!: The one thing the Master Seducer must watch out for is his non-seduction life. Everything he is will change so much, chances are his choice of profession will no longer suit him, nor will any of his old environments be supportive of him now. Jealousy of others towards him will be his constant thorn. Attacks on him and his women too, from emails, ex-friends, exlovers, sworn enemies, people claiming to be in love with him, and even complete strangers are just part of everyday life. Also at this stage, the Master Seducer MUST always beware to use his OWN protection for sex that he supplies himself. He must use his own condoms, as it is very likely that even the most trusted of his lovers, will punch holes in the condoms she supplies, in order to facilitate a pregnancy that SHE wants, but that
246
247
he does not. A Master Seducer must always have his guard up for TRAPS. The Final Stages 10. The Natural There are two types of Naturals. 1-The Lived Natural 2-The Learned Natural A Lived Natural: A natural with women that did the change work of personal development EARLIER in life without the conscious study of relationship and seduction material. He learned from experience from a young age. A natural took care of this (programming instincts) at an early enough age (i.e. during adolescence). Most lived naturals that I have met were either the favorite son of a parent, or have been sexually active from a young age losing their virginity in their early teens, or both. A Learned Natural: A Natural that took on the study of seduction later in life, who at some point was a Loser and has run the entire gambit of his development. He could have once been living the reality of a 25-year-old male virgin whose upbringing and conditioning have made him fearful of women and socializing. But now, after his time in development, and having gone through the stages, he is a Natural, as good as any Lived Natural. He just took a "learned" route. What separates The Natural, from all other stages of development is that his INSTINCTS give way to his INTUITION. Everything a man does to better his seduction persona is to develop his instincts. When a man's instincts are honed, and reliable, he has mastered his development However, in time, his instincts manifest themselves into UNCONSCIOUS competence, where he no longer has to think through his seduction of women. He acts and behaves Naturally with them, as his instincts have nowTrans-morphed into Intuition.
247
248
The Difference Between Instincts And Intuition Instincts are patterns of response behaviors to given stimuli that unlike reflex may include a measure of combining life experience with learned processes. Intuitions are perceptions of reality that are void of reason or rational investigative processes. Intuition may be a keen immediate insight to a given context, without any deducing information being communicated beforehand. Like a premonition, it is an impression, which leads to actions being taken, without prior life experience nor learned processes. Basically speaking, the Natural does not think it through, he just IS. Can a Loser or Beginner go directly to this Learned Stage without going through the rest of the stages of development? I have not met any yet. But, I do know some men that simply learn to make use of other elements such as their wealthy, attractive genetics and other "High Quality Sperm" indicators, and call it "Natural-Based Game". As I stated in my book, Everything Out of Her Mouth is a Test, the woman's emotional need for High Quality Sperm is in fact enough to get guys laid, but I believe it is hardly enough to make a lesser man a Natural with women. In my opinion, that takes Intuition, not "buying" her attentions. Anytime a guy that was already somewhat Naturally good with women, and just enters development to get slightly better, it often happens that he starts to get laid LESS than he did before. When Naturals enter a phase of self discovery and self analysis they take a hit in their game because they are so caught up in their heads trying to analyze what they are doing, and why it works, that they start to become incapable to actually just "doing on Intuition", which is what got them laid to begin with. The Natural and Pain: The Lived Natural's Pain comes from his inability to calibrate. Many of the Lived Naturals do not calibrate deeply to their situations. They are stuck in their "character". If a Lived Natural learns the art of calibration, he will surely be above all other
248
249
Naturals, as most cannot. Lived Naturals tend to be "who they are", and if others, including the women they target do not like it, well it is too bad, and the Lived Natural just moves on. Many Lived Naturals go through high numbers game, and are constantly on the recruit for new women, as their inflexibility in their characters causes them to disqualify many more women, than they bed. This strength of character works to their favor in the area of dominance, which makes them very attractive to women, but it is also their pain, as it gets in their way in other areas of life if left unchecked. The Learned Natural's Pain comes from the fact he will always have some attachment to his past and his scars from development. His old habits are his own, and he may still have inner demons that even a Seduction Learned Natural still cannot overcome on his own. Some Learned Naturals forcibly get so distanced from their own memories of development that they can no longer even relate to guys at early stages of development. These Learned Naturals can actually give bad advice on occasion, or use shame as a motivator on their students. Shame rarely works to help guys at earlier stages. Sometimes I personally think it is an actual psychological mechanism so that the Naturals do not create their own competition. Dear students, beware your mentors. The Natural and Sex: Every Natural I have ever met has such a high comfort level with sex, and sex-related issues, it is infectious, and the women around the Natural feed off that energy. A woman feels she can be sexually free with a Natural, as most Naturals have pretty much experienced everything they had the inclination to experience, and thus harbor no judgment against women for something they did themselves. The Natural and Seduction Persona; For the Lived Natural, this is not applicable. For the Learned Natural this is when the skills are executed without thinking. They are embedded as part of his natural behaviors such that he is unaware of what he is doing, until only after he does it. And then, he still may not even be able to articulate exactly what he did, or even why he knew it
249
250
was the right thing to do, but he just knows it was the right thing to do. He is aware of his seduction. He no longer thinks in terms of seduction. He lives a lifestyle on his own terms, and such that is now completely unable to relate to earlier stages of development. Does not study any new materials, as his lifestyle and overall presence is attractive. He does not give the notion of "seduction" a second thought. A Natural, by definition, is all about INTUITION. The Natural and Quitting: The Natural does not actually "quit" his development. At this stage, if he quits, he quits on life, and his love life is just a sub-category of that. If a Lived Natural has a traumatic experience, which could be the loss of his one great love, or some other event like bankruptcy, or other life ruin, then it could be enough to send him to the Loser stage. As it is a place he has never been, be may not be able to see his way out of it. For all of his life, from the time he was young, things have always just been a certain way, thus when a major emotional impact tears into him, his mindset is one where, it will ALSO now remain the same and always be a new certain way. This is why, and to my surprise, the Lived Natural just assumes that every man can have the love live he himself has, and thus he can not comprehend guys having problems with women, unless he is traumatized himself at some point. In my experience, with the Lived Naturals I have met, they are no more and no less successful in other area of their lives as they are in their love lives. In most cases, you would never be able to tell them apart from the average guys just by looking at them. When the Learned Natural gets hit with a traumatic experienced, because of his pervious development, he is better suited to handle it. The Natural and Ability to Communicate With W o m e n : A Natural's Intuition is so strong that he knows intuitively what emotional needs be needs to addressed, at what time, and at what intensity. He also TARGETS better than guys at any other stage in development using his VIBE. Although both the Lived and Learned Naturals have excellent Intuition, it is usually the Learned Natural that has the upper hand, as his path of development
250
251
gave him superior calibration skills. Balancing this out is the Lived Naturals superior Targeting sensors. The Natural and Love: Naturals that find love often have to evoke a Desperate Measures Act. Because he is a Natural, it is very difficult for high quality women to put too much faith in him, to address her fear of abandonment A Natural is seen as being "too smooth" for his own good, and she needs a major indication from him that he is very serious about her. Thus, if the Natural is really in love with her, he must prove himself with the Desperate Measures Act. This is when a natural has to do something incomprehensible, like offer a commitment prior to sex. This prove to a woman he loves that he will not abandon her, nor is he just looking for another notch in his belt. The Natural and Friends: For the naturals I have met and gotten to know (both Lived and Learned) they had one of two extreme views on female friends. Either they believed that men and women were not friends, and could never be friends, or they believed that ALL women were potential friends, and a man can sleep with all his female friends. A natural may have female friends, just as a hot chick has male friends. It is the Emotional Cookie in reverse, except that unless the natural feels the woman is damaged goods, he also has sex with her, in addition to her doing things for him. As for male friends, the same principles of a Master Seducer and Friends apply to the Natural. The Natural and Vibe Frequency: A Naturals vibe (learned or lived) is SO STRONG, that he can simply send out a vibe signal and know what women in the room he would best connect with, without having to approach any of them. Their targeting mechanisms are beyond accurate, and their ability to single out the women that would be the most open to them on a given night is top notch, bar none. A big part of the reason that Naturals are SO SUCCESSFUL with women, is that they VIBE their targeting scanners. His Greatest Tool: His Vibe
251
252
Watch Out!: The one thing the Learned Natural must watch out for is his succumbing to The DIVA Syndrome. The Learned Natural spends so much time having learned to connect with women, that he sometimes ends up taking on the very nature of women's being. I have known too many very cool guys that worked their way up to the Learned Natural level, only to start acting like the very hot chicks they are used to attracting. Basically, these men start to act like queen-bitch-drama-DIVAS. Lived Naturals for some reason, never lose their full masculinity from being good with women. Personally, it makes me wonder about some of the Learned Naturals. Their Diva Syndrome almost makes people question their sexuality.
Watch Out!: The one thing the Lived Natural must watch out for is that one bad traumatic event. A Lived Natural never experienced long periods of not being a Natural. That one major traumatic event could break him to Loser-Ville. I know one Lived Natural who was madly in love with one of his harem girls, even wanted to marry her and have a family. She refused him saying she did not believe in marriage, nor did she ever want to have children. Well, she eventually broke up with him, and within 18 months was married and pregnant by some other guy. The Lived Natural had hit such a low from this traumatic event, that even his family were concerned enough to have all his friends check up on him to prevent him from doing something drastic. Although the Learned Natural does not have the sexually abundant past of the Lived Natural, it is the Learned Natural that has the advantage of being able to handle trauma. The Learned Natural has been there before, and knows how to survive it. The Lived Natural may simply not have the coping mechanisms in place.
252
253
CHAPTER 5
Deconstructing The Components of Game
&
CREATION OF A SEDUCTION PERSONA
253
254
Introduction: It's All Reprogramming Your Instincts At the heart, there is only one real difference between a lonely Loser and an accomplished Seducer: INSTINCTS That's it. That is what separates the guys that are amazing with getting women, and the guys that cannot get laid to save their lives. Everything you have been learning in this book, (and if you study other relationship or seduction related products) and what you must keep in mind, is that the underlying work you are doing is the: REPROGRAMMING OF YOUR INSTINCTS We do this because it is very possible that Instincts can be w r o n g . It is programmable. Think about sexual fetishes. If instincts were always correct and reliable, then all fetishes would be for sexual intercourse that produces offspring. However, when wires get crossed and the sexual attraction ends up being for feet, or hands, or bondage, or S M , etc....well that is a lacking in the "correct" kind of instincts. The instinct of a NICE guy is to give-give-give to a woman in the pursuit of sex and love. Feels right to a nice guys' instinct but it does not actually work. See what I mean? A Natural with women has well honed instincts when it comes to sex, relationships and people in general. A Loser who struggles just to get past the first date IF he makes it that far, has had his instincts warped by some manner. An entire generation of men have been ruined due to militant feminism and an emasculating culture that shames men from following their basic instincts, which turns out to be EXACTLY what women's instincts are programmed to be attracted to,(remember Rule of Relationship on Intellectual Constructs?). The entire movement of men taking on the study of seduction, pick-up, and relationship management is a backlash of the damage done to men
254
255
in the cultures connections.
misdirection
of
men's
instincts
for
Getting your inner game handled is about getting enough of your instincts for you to get laid, and find the type of women and relationships you want. I state "enough" because I am a firm believer that a man does not need 100% of his Inner Game together in order to get laid. He just needs to have enough Inner Game that is related to his love life. This book was designed to give you MORE than what you would need to get your love life Inner Game handled. I know of a dirt-poor musician that does nothing but play music, smoke and approach girls. He has zero material wealth by any standards (no financial Inner Game), yet he gets laid all the time. I know a senior aged BDSM master that can attract 20 year olds, but is unable to make his wife of 20 years come around to even trying BDSM (missing some inner game there). Hell, even a couple of my own mentors that still today bang beautiful and successful women, yet are turning to suicidal thoughts because they have not been able to find redemption in the pickup lifestyle. Even more personal, I am a seduction guru that has backed up my theories with life experience, and I still battle my own weight issues. Look at alcoholics, gamblers, and other addicts, they surely do not have their Inner Game completely intact, yet a number of them go out and get laid, just like the rest of us. We all get laid, but none of us has a perfect Inner Game. That is because perfect Inner Game just is not possible. You need a BASE Inner Game to get laid. Guys that overly focus on Inner Game are just playing the creative avoidance game. The search for a perfect Inner Game is just not a reality. (Remember Intellectual Constructs?). We are human, and perfection is just an intellectual construct. If you wait till things are perfect before you are willing to have sex, you will never have sex. It is just a form of Creative Avoidance. Just having instincts is not enough. It must be programmed to get results (thus the setting of
255
256
goals). If your instinct was unhampered by your upbringing and your personal development, thank whatever higher power you believe in, because you got to be a lucky one. The rest of us needed to work at it, and reprogram our instincts for our desired results. Forget Being Yourself: Be Happy Instead For some g u y s "Being Yourself' simply d o e s not w o r k . Take it from a guy that was being himself and did not get laid for YEARS. It is not a question of putting on a false face, but it IS a question of what part of you to show at what time. For example, when a man makes a date with a woman, he might FEEL like jumping up and down, and calling her on the phone every hour just so he can hear her voice, up to the hour their date actually starts. Now, this is how some guys honestly feel and if he acted on that, it would be that guy BEING HIMSELF. HOWEVER, that "Being Himself behavior, as much as it is the "authentic" him, will SCARE HER AWAY if he does it That "being yourself" behavior a.k.a. Stalker behavior will not get him the RESULTS he wants (which we assume is either sex or a relationship). He has a much better shot if he displays his more relaxed self to her in the time leading up to the date, instead of the super excited happy self he is. Get it?
256
257
The Five Main Inner Game Issues Who-What-When-Where-How We know WHY There are five inner game issues that are regularly evident with the guys that I have worked with; as each guy I have ever helped inner game-wise does not know: 1-Who "himself is and what he really wants 2-What new behaviors to try when the old ones failed 3-When he should show the parts of "himself that work 4-Where he needs to calibrate for his perceived, and actual, status of value 5-How the concept process of Game works Again we already assume the W H Y is either sex or a relationship with sex (remember the base life philosophy?). Now then, as for the rest of the above: (1) Is covered in Chapter 3 of this book. (2) Is covered in this Chapter 5: Seduction Persona
Chart
(3) Is covered in, "Everything Out of Her Mouth is a Test" (4) Is covered in this Chapter 5 under: 5 Components of Game (5) Is covered in this Chapter 5 under: 5 Components of Game The creation of a Seduction Persona for Inner Game requires an understanding of the 10 stages of development (covered in the previous chapter), so that a student can measure his development. It also requires the student to understand how the value of his status works in his calibration during the application of his game, as well as the different elements that make up a man's game. The next sections in this chapter will cover everything you will need to know dear student in order to make your Seduction Persona your strongest tool in your development in your quest to better your Inner Game.
257
258
T h e 5 Components of the Game Frank B Kermit's Five Elements of A Man's Game 1-His Perceived Status By Her (Pre-Game) 2-Her Perceived Status by Him (Head Game) 3-His Communicating His Actual Status (High Game) 4-He Categorizes Her On Her Actual Status (End Game) 5-He Has Sex With Her Based On His Category (Post Game) 1-Pre-Game This part takes place even before he steps out the door, or logs into the net to meet women. This is her (and everyone else's for that matter) initial take on him. This is where she is either neutral to him, or she has already decided she likes him enough to see if he can seduce her further. It is based on the predictable first impressions that others (especially women) will have of
him.
Is he good-looking? A great dresser? Does he have solid body language? That look in his eyes? Etc. it is all observable elements on which the distance-based and close up first impressions originate from. This includes his perceived status. This first impression is not written in stone. It is only her initial impression and, assuming his game is tight, it will become meaningless. However, if your first impression is really bad or if you happen to be fighting a prejudice (she will not even talk to guys that are of a particular race), you may not even get to the next component of the game, UNLESS your game is super solid, and even then, it may not even be enough. But know this; I have been with women that openly told me they were racist, but yet still had sex with men of that race on a few occasions. So it can be done. It just takes work.
258
259
Status and Value High Value Male: I define a High Value Male, as a man that can address all 10 of a woman's emotional needs on a consistent basis. Status: I define Status (for the purposes of this book) as the stage of development a man has reached,( in addition to his ability to address all 10 of a woman's emotional needs on a consistent basis, and in addition to all non-seduction related factors) that could add to his feelings of self worth. Simply put A Man's Value + His Stage of Development + His Feelings of Self Worth = His Status. A man with high status can do things, and still complete the seduction that a man with low status simply cannot get away with. That is why society is more forgiving with celebrities and professional athletes than it is with the common folk. Status is power. An example of this is when a man tells a woman that he is, or has, seriously studied seduction related materials. A Low Status Male: A guy that is not getting laid, and being open that he is trying to learn. This will HINDER his game. He will be seen as the wannabe, the try-hard, but not the Seducer. His status is TOO LOW to show this kind of vulnerability. It will not make him attainable as he is already seen as too attainable. It will make him come across as to NEEDY, and DESPERATE. I made the mistake of sharing this information during my development, and it made my journey take a lot longer than it could have been. For guys that are still in the developing states, association with seduction (the need to study it specifically) is detrimental to the creation of their status level rising. A High Status Male: As a seduction guru, the fact that I had to study what I did, now factors into my game as it makes me attainable to women. I am perceived as such a high value male, that this bit of information, which used to make me look weak, is now
259
260
reinterpreted as making me vulnerable and human, and thus attainable. Now, I am looked at, as always having been a Seducer, but I just needed to find myself (words women have used to justify their relationship with me). For guys that are established in their status, association with learning seduction will not hamper their game. When you ALREADY have status you are already living the life, not just trying to live it. Perceived Status Calibration Have you ever wondered why the same seduction techniques and behavior patterns that works exceptionally well for one guy, may fail miserably when another guy tries exactly the same material, in exactly the same way? Here is why: The material a guy uses is only HALF of the game. The other half of the game is the guy's ability to CALIBRATE FOR HIS PERCEIVED STATUS. A man must factor in his STATUS into his game. In some cases, he has no perceived status, so he needs to display behaviors that indicate to her, that he is a high value male. In other cases, a man already has perceived status, so he needs to display behaviors that indicate to her, that he is attainable for her. If he uses attainable behavior, when he is of a perceived low status, she interprets him as low value. If he has behaviors that indicate to her that he is high value, but is already perceived as having status, he then comes off as too high value, and completely unattainable. Here are some examples of Calibrating for your Status. Things you can do to demonstrate you are a total Low Value male: Say please and thank you Bowing when you meet people Saying you're sorry
260
261
Getting on one knee and proposing
Things you can do to Discredit a n d Lower your value: Say please and thank you Bowing when you meet people Saying you're sorry Getting on one knee and propose
T h i n g s y o u c a n d o t o demonstrate y o u are High Value yet Attainable for her: Say please and thank you Bowing when you meet people Saying you're sorry Getting on one knee and proposing Things you can do to demonstrate you are a total High Value male Going for what you want Doing what you want Confidence Things you can do to Raise y o u r value in any given situation: Going for what you want Doing what you want Confidence T h i n g s y o u c a n do to demonstrate you are a violent abusive jerk, if you are ALREADY perceived as a High Value male Going for what you want Doing what you want Confidence The point here is that the SAME behavior can be interpreted differently, depending on where you start. If you are already perceived as a Low Value male, then you need to do things to raise your value. If you are perceived as a High Value male, then doing those same actions to excess makes you come off as an abusive
jerk.
261
262
A man must know his PERCEIVED status, his ACTUAL status, and must calibrate to that during the different components of the game, but ESPECIALLY at the Pre-Game Levels. When I am dressed up, I have to come off a lot softer when I talk to women and couples who want to take my picture, and more aggressive to people when I am dressed down. That is because my perceived value when I am dressed up is much higher, than when I am dressed down. So my behaviors must balance it out to keep me attainable. 2- Head-Game Just as a man must calibrate for the first impression he gives off, he must also calibrate for the first impression that women make on him (and others). To get into her panties, you must first get into her head. It is pretty well impossible to guess how a woman sees herself, or what exactly is going on in her mind. When I set out to find a way to calibrate to the way a woman perceives herself, I took years to finally find a system that worked positively for me, more often than not. It is not fool proof, but it works the majority of the time. I actually found out this system when I sat down to figure out what I meant by when I rated a woman. Until then, I did not rate woman on a scale of 1 to 10, but I did want to come to terms with what my personal scale was, if I was going to use one. In that process, I had to answer for myself, "What is a 10?" Is it based on looks only? What about personalities? What if she is a 5 in the looks, but her personality is a 9...does that make her a 7 average? What is she looks like an 8, but feels like a 5, do you game her like a 6.5? What if she looks like a 3, but she feels and acts like she is a 10? How would you even know to calibrate for that? Part of it is based on what we
262
263
can observe, and what we will only know when we talk to her, but by that time it is too late. So, what can we observe about her that would give us an indication? Here is how I define it: Some Some Some Some girls girls girls girls are are are are pretty but do not know it, not pretty but do not know it pretty and know it, not pretty and know it.
Each one needs calibration. When I rate women, I do so in a manner in which it allows me to adjust my game and calibrate to them. Using these categories, it helped me to calibrate because it forces me to take both her looks, as they appear to me, AND what I can assume about the way she sees herself. Women, who make a living on their looks, KNOW they are hot. Women, who cannot make a living on their looks, KNOW it as well. The point I am trying to make is that most guys focus on what a girl is on a scale of 1 to 10 FOR THE WAY GUYS THINK. Sure, we all have our own scales but they are not very useful for calibration, as the calibration of the game is to be done by what SHE IS and what SHE THINKS SHE IS in terms of her PERCEIVED VALUE. Here is my personal Frank B Kermit Scale on Rating Women: 10-She make a direct living off her looks (stripper, model, actress) 09-She makes an indirect living (uses looks on the job, waitress that flirts, office worker that shows off her figure)
263
264
08-Attractive enough to make a living off her looks, but chooses not to 07-Naturally pretty but plain, Has to put in the effort to make a living off her looks 06-Naturally Decent looking, could make a living off her looks if she tried really hard, and put in lots of work 05- Average Decent looking girl 04- Decent looking but plain could not make a living off her looks if she tried really hard 03- Not great looking, but with a considerable time to her appearance, is average only 02- Not great looking, could be average if she tried really hard, but does not try 0 1 - Not great looking, could not even be average if she tried really hard. We each have our own personal tastes, but when CALIBRATING to her, our tastes cannot presuppose her behaviors 100%. So my using my scale, I have been able to calibrate to her based on what I could observe. My scale does not take her intelligence nor her personality into play, but most of the time, you cannot know this part anyways until you interact with her. In my experience, a woman who makes a living based on her looks will have a stronger view of herself, than the girl who COULD make a living on her looks, but chooses not too. It is not just about her looks, but taking into account the environment and the context of her looks that will affect the way she regards herself. Put it this way: A stripper on the street being approached by a random guy using a blunt but elegant direct approach
264
265
will be unimpressed because she makes a living off her looks and is getting hit on all the time. She needs to be gamed like a 10. An average looking girl that has to puts work into her look, on the street being approached by a random guy using a blunt but elegant direct approach will be impressed because she puts effort into her look, but does not make a living off her looks and is not getting hit on all the time. She needs to be gamed like a 5 or a 6. A below average looking girl, on the street being approached by a random guy using a blunt but elegant direct approach, will be scared as she is not used to being approached because despite her efforts she could never make a living off her looks and is not getting hit on all the time. She needs to be gamed like a 3 or a 4.
3-Hiqh Game In High Game, the man is communicating his actual status. This is where a man addresses the emotional needs that balance out with the first impressions he has made on her. Basically, this is where the man is demonstrating his Value. In my seduction philosophy, this is where I consciously address all of a woman's emotional needs on a consistent basis, so that she by default MUST feel like becoming my lover, as it is impossible for her to ever feel like a mother to me. If you have read my book. Everything Out of Her Mouth is a Test, then you already know exactly how to make her fall in love with you, and desire to have your children. This is done throughout the entire seduction, and is done in conjunction with all other components of the game, especially during component 4, where she is being qualified. This is where a mans actual High Game is played. For me, all game is High Game.
265
266
4- End Game Throughout component 3, the man has spent his time qualifying her. He continues to do so during component 4 (End Game). At any given point a man will categories a woman based on his lists of criteria for the categories of women in his life. This is where your criteria list comes in, and your knowledge of self as to what you want. It is during this component that he makes the decision as to the category of women she will be placed in. If she is un-fuck-able, or fuck-able, he must act on it. If she is fuck-able, a man must take measures to ensure that sex with this woman happens as soon as possible, and calibrates his game in order to make that so.
5-Post Game The point of the game is to get SEX, or a relationship with sex. Yes, you need to have penile-vagina penetration; you need to have sex to prove that you have game, or you simply do not have game. Otherwise, your skills at game don't mean a thing. Your game don't mean squat, if you don't fuck her twat. Doo-wop, doo-wop, doo-wop!
Author's Note: Yeah, yeah, 1 know, 1 know 1 am sue i a dork If you have read my other books, you would know to expect this from me by now.
At the end of the game, either she is fucking him, or she helps him get laid through her friends. There is no other satisfactory outcome.
266
267
In the event that the only girls he can game are those that all end up in the "un-fuck-able" category, and if that continues as a persistent situation, it is a sign that he does not have enough game to pursue woman that are in his fuck-able category. It is a sign of Creative Avoidance, not solid game. In business, nothing matters until you get paid, and the check has cleared the bank. In seduction, nothing matters until you get laid, and your penis penetrates her vagina. Why is sex SO important in the game? Check out base life philosophies for that answer if you haven't already.
267
268
T h e Persona Concept Creating a Seducer Persona When trying to change the person you are on the inside, one of the ways to do this is to create an identity, then naming it. The identity is a symbol, incorruptible, a collection of behaviors. It can change one moment to the next. Unlike a real person who may not be able to change parts of him, the Persona can change instantly as it is only a definition, not an actual being. It is a work in progress, not an absolute finish. The Persona is everything you want to be, and something to strive for. First develop the Persona, and then work to become the person that is closest to that Persona until eventually, the Persona and the person are merged into ONE. I could experiment with whatever seduction techniques I wanted, and as long as I learned something new, and either changed my original belief or found a different belief to experiment with; I fulfilled what my Persona demanded of me. When I first started on my journey, and I would get into a situation with a new woman I met, I would ask myself "What would (name of mentor) do in this situation?" Once I had my own seduction Persona set, I started to ask, "What would Brother Kermit do?" The answer was always: He'd just go for it. He wouldn't care about social conventions, and he would try (insert new action to try). Sometimes it worked, and other times, I fell flat on my face embarrassed. But either way, I LEARNED something new. The Name of Your Seduction Persona I named my Persona: Brother Kermit. The name "Kermit" is borrowed from one of my childhood heroes, Kermit the Frog. I believe that it is important to create a Persona that not only embodies all that you want to become, but the Persona must also be based on traits you already have. I have a number of things in common with Kermit the Frog. We are entertainers, educators, performers, artists and administrators, and
268
269
are point men in our respective social circles, and are dreamers that follow through on our goals. Naming your Persona is more important than you think. One guy I helped out used the name "Terminator" for his Persona based on the Terminator character from the same named movies because he was a fan, and because he was a computer science guy. When we went to work on his Inner Game, it turned out that when he was in a situation with women and got stuck for what to do next, he would adopt his "Terminator" Persona which his conscious mind thought of as a suave seducer, but obviously his subconscious saw as the movie character, as he turned cold, unfeeling and robot like in his interactions with women. Eventually he changed his Persona name to something more socially workable, and within a couple of weeks, he started to get MUCH better reactions from the women he approached.
I have often been criticized for choosing the name "Kermit", for a host of reasons too silly to mention here. What I will tell you is that those guys that attacked me for it were clearly not getting laid themselves with the women they truly desired. The guys that are getting laid, never really care what name I go under. As long as I backed up what I said, they continued to work with me, and let me learn more from them. If your name works for you, that is all that matters. If your critics do not get laid, then who cares what they think. Only borrow a name from a source if it embodies elements of who you already are, otherwise use a symbol of yours (check your symbols lists) and start with that. Your Persona will change through your development, as you will change. Most important: It is easier to become your Persona when your Persona already is very much like you already. You are simply building on what is already there. That is a key in change work to develop yourself into your Persona. The Image of Your Seduction Persona
269
270
The Persona's height, body size and shape, eye and hair color, must all be identical to yours (unless you are ACTIVE in changing your appearance as well by going to the gym or losing weight). Then you set the image to what you are going to look like after your initial image goals are reached. The Persona's face must also be identical to yours. His voice should be identical to your voice. You can experiment with the Persona's clothing style. Try on different images, and continue to experiment until you settle in on a "look" that best suits you. Originally, Brother Kermit was dressed like a swashbuckling Musketeer, with long curly hair, a mask, and a sword. Over time, I felt this image simply did not match me, as I really was not into fencing, so having a sword, was a reminder of t h a t Also, I learned that Musketeers were in fact soldiers loyal to the king. I did not like the idea of my Persona being subservient to a master, as I felt that if anyone should be a king, it's Brother Kermit. At the 2-!4 year mark of my development, I met one notable Seduction Guru named Mystery. While speaking with him in person, he told me that the look I should experiment with was the "Club Owner" look. So I started with that, and got myself a suit jacket in real life, while I continued to experiment with my Persona's look in my mind. In time, the feather cap gave way to a Fedora, the sword gave way to a cane, and the black knee high boots gave way to snake skin shoes. I was merging the "Club Owner" look with "The Producer" look to reflect my radio program interests. Finally, what I found worked BEST was "The Pimp" look, as it best reflected many of my attributes. I came into my look very late in my development, when most of my former self was changed, dead or gone. I often joke with my friends that I am more "myself when I dress up pimping than when I am dressed down to relax. Experiment with your style in your mind, but do not start spending money on the clothing of your Persona, until you are sure you have found something
270
271
that works for you. Clothing and footwear can get expensive, and it was not until I attended a fashion seminar by Marvi Arlik on total fashion makeover, and getting basic fashion rules understood, that I was ready to totally fulfill my image with my Personalized Symbolic Peacocking. I had taken what I had learned about fashion and styling, and merged it with my Calibrated Storytelling skills, my seduction Persona concept, and finally my ability to identify, and address a woman's emotional needs. How the Seduction Persona Concept WORKS Ok, boys this is it. I am going to explain how the seduction Persona concept works. This is what I used to put everything you have just learned in this book, into action, and how I changed my life to make it something that I love to live. This whole chapter is about bringing everything you have learned into the plan of your personalized game (both Inner Game, and the 5 game components). The value of your seduction Persona is that when you get into a situation where you do NOT know what to do or say, you can ask yourself what would your Persona do? Your Persona will give you the answer. If it is the wrong action you will find out, and then add the knowledge to the collective knowledge of your Persona and yourself.
You start off by drawing a chart with 3 col urn ns in it.
Building a Seduction Persona Chart Column 1 is the situation Column 2 is what you already do that you want to change Column 3 is the action you want to train yourself to change.
271
272
The following chart is an example of when I started.... Frank Does/did... Believes the only difference between the genders is the physical embodiment A person who commits an act of violence forfeits their right to safety Waits anxiously by the phone, never letting his attentions stray Panics and finds a quiet room, reads a book and waits until it is time to go home Brother Kermit Will next time try? Believes that men and women process information differently, and uses this knowledge to better communicate A person who commits an act of violence forfeits their right to safety Seduces other women in the meanwhile already looking to replace her Brings two bottles of home-made wine, and walks around, offering all guests tastes while introducing self
CONTEXT The Difference Between Men and Women
Beliefs on Violence A woman Promises To Call Him
At a Party
Some things will change. Some will not. In time, the beliefs will be the same in both columns as you test each one to find out what works best for you. That is when the two columns merge. At the Master Level, the two Personas merge into the same being. That is why I call myself "Frank B Kermit". I (Frank) have so merged with my Persona (Brother Kermit) we are now one and the same. Beliefs are built on experiences and growth, they change; hindsight makes what sounded smart one-day regrettable the next. Hindsight also makes yesterdays experiments become tomorrows' seduction fundamentals. The next chart of a visual representation of how the Seduction Persona Concept works with the Stages of Development from Loser to Seducer to Natural. Frank Because-I-Have-To-Be Kermit 2006 www.FRAN KTALKS.com 272
273
Tracking Your Persona & Development Chart Gray Circle = Your Former Self White Circle = Your New Seduction Persona
The more similar the two columns are, the better your instincts are. THAT IS THE POWER OF THIS CHART. THIS IS WHERE YOU REBUILD YOUR INSTINCTS. That is why the Master Seducer had better Frank Because-I-Have-To-Be Kermit 2006 www.FRANKTALKS.com 273
274
instincts than the Loser. What the Master knows to do, that the Loser does not do, becomes the Master's INSTINCTS over time with life experiences backing it up. Brother Kermit was my "seducer" Persona, thus the elements that I added in, was the same abilities that I noticed in my studies of men that were good with women. I noticed their confidence, their ability to lead others effortlessly, and their ability to communicate. These were all qualities that I wanted to incorporate into myself. So first, I assigned them to my Persona. Now, it's your turn: Here is your starter chart.
Former Self CONTEXT His Beliefs About The Difference Between Men And Women Beliefs on Violence A woman promises To Call Him At A Party Who is Responsible For The Sex In A Relationship A Woman Stands Him up When Asked by A Woman if He Frank Because-I-Have-To-Be Kermit 2006 www.FRAN KTALKS.com (Your Name) Does / Did:
New Persona (Persona Name) will next time try:
274
275
Thinks She Is Fat On Loneliness On a Woman's Sexuality I Deserve... When A Woman Says "Let's Just Be Friends" When She Starts Talking About How Her Boyfriend Treats Her Poorly YOU MUST CONTINUE THIS CHART ON YOUR OWN...
This is the seduction Persona exercise I worked, re-worked, modified, and revised again and again. I kept at it, UNTIL my Inner Game was solid enough. That is what I recommend that you do as well.
275
276
You Know You Have Inner Game When... How do you know when your Inner Game is complete enough? Well, the following next section is how " I * knew my Inner Game was enough? For me it was the day that: 1-you reach the point where you like who you are 2-You would not want to be someone else given the
option
3-You no longer covet what others have achieved 4-You really don't care what others think about you 5-You can be totally honest with women, and it is your honesty with them that gets you laid, and you do not feel the need to lie to women anymore. 6-When you have achieved most of your goals and are confident that you will get all the others completed too, as long as you have the time you need to do them. 7-When you no longer need alcohol or other outside factors to make you capable of "being yourself 8-When you don't put others down or insult them, to make yourself feel better. (If they deserve being insulted, then that is another matter)
10What is your top ten ways that you know you have gotten your inner game together? You will know it and feel it when you get there for each clue. I still have a couple blank too. Stayed tuned to, and watch, yourself.
276
277
Books from Frank B Kermit From Loser to Seducer: The Story of Frank B Kermit Everything Out of Her Mouth is a Test: A Man's Guide to Satisfying the Emotional Needs of Women I'm A Man. That's My Job: The Philosophy of a Seducer. An Inner Game Workbook Frank Advice: For The Art Of Relationships Book 1 and 2 Calibration Storytelling: How to Tell Stories to Women to Present Yourself In the Best Possible Light (In progress) How To Make A High Value Male Commit: A Guide for Women to the Emotional Needs Of Men (In progress)
One-on-One and Group Seminars Offered by Frank B Kermit How to Address the Emotional Needs of Women The Adult Male Virgins Seminar: Make your first time, her best time. Because paying for it does not count Calibration Storytelling: How to Tell Stories to Women. Presenting your life in the most seductive ways possible How to Decorate your Bachelor Pad into a Seductive Lair Peacocking, Fashion Tips and Symbology: The Making of a Unique Masculine Image
For reviews of these books, and reviews of the seminars associated with this books, visit: www.franktal ks.com
277
278
*********DISCOUNT
PAGE**********
Bring this Whole Book w i t h you t o : Any ONE Frank B Kermit Seminar -orAny O N E Frank B Kermit Telephone Consultation -orAny O N E Frank B Kermit One-on-One Session And Get 20 % O f f t h e cost of any one of t h e above. You can only use this page once. Offer is void if t h e page is ripped f r o m book. The page M U S T be I N T A C T w i t h i n t h e book Your signature:
Frank B. Kermit signature:
I reserve t h e r i g h t to limit t h e number of discount pages to be used at any one seminar. Some conditions may apply, check www.franktalks.com f o r details. This discount page is valid until December 3 1 , 2 0 0 8 .
Frank Because-I-Have-To-Be Kermit 2006 www.FRANKTALKS.com
278

Frank Kermit - I'm A Man, That's My Job (2007)

Încărcat de

Informații document

Descriere originală:

Titlu original

Drepturi de autor

Formate disponibile

Partajați acest document

Partajați sau inserați document

Opțiuni de partajare

Vi se pare util acest document?

Este necorespunzător acest conținut?

Drepturi de autor:

Formate disponibile

Frank Kermit - I'm A Man, That's My Job (2007)

Încărcat de

Drepturi de autor:

Formate disponibile

I'M A MAN, That's My Job:

The Philosophy of A Seducer An Inner Game Workbook

By Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit Frank B Kermit 2007

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.FRANKTALKS.com

Copyright 2007 by Frank, Because I Have to Be, Kermit

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.franktaIks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.franktaIks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.franktaIks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.franktaIks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.franktaIks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.franktaIks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.franktaIks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.franktaIks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

159 160 160 162 169 171 173 175 177

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Chapter 5 - Deconstructing The Components of Game and

Creation Of A Seduction Persona

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Chapter 1 The 10 Base Philosophies of Life

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com

Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit 2006 www.f ranktal ks.com