Students' Reactions to Teacher Comments: An Exploratory Study Author(s): Richard Straub Source: Research in the Teaching of English, Vol.

31, No. 1 (Feb., 1997), pp. 91-119 Published by: National Council of Teachers of English Stable URL: http://www.jstor.org/stable/40171265 Accessed: 16/11/2009 14:24
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Students' Reactions to Teacher Comments: An Exploratory Study

Richard Straub Florida State University
Current scholarship indicates that most writing students read and make use of teachers'written commentson their drafts and find some types of commentsmore helpful than others. But the researchis unclear about which comments students find most useful and why. This article presents the results of a survey of 142 firstyear college writing students' perceptionsabout teachercomments on a writing sample. A 40-item questionnaire was used to investigate students' reactions to three variablesof teacherresponse:focus, specificity,and mode. The survey found that these college students seemedequally interestedin getting responseson global mattersof content, purpose,and organizationas on local mattersof sentencestructure, wording, and correctness,but were wary of negative comments about ideas they had already expressedin their text. It also found that these students favored detailed commentarywith specificand elaboratedcomments, but they did not like comments that sought to control their writing or that failed to provide helpful criticismfor improving the writing. They most preferredcomments that provided advice, employedopen questions, or included explanations that guided revision.

For all practicalpurposes, commentingon student essays might just be an exercise in futility. Eitherstudents do not read the commentsor they read them and do not attempt to implement suggestions and correct errors. (Marzano& Arthur,1977, p. 11) We have scarcelya shred of empiricalevidence to show that students typically even comprehendour responses to their writing, let alone use them purposefullyto modify their practice.(Knoblauch& Brannon,1981, p. 1) For it seems, paradoxicallyenough, that although commentingon student writing is the most widely used method for respondingto student writing, it is the least understood. We do not know in any definitive way what constitutes thoughtful commentaryor what effect, if any, our comments have on helping our students become more effective writers. (Sommers, 1982, p. 148)

Since these and many another sobering report questioning the usefulness of teacher commentary,researchersseem to have become more focused in their study of response. Foregoing the difficult task of demonstrating the effects of teacher comments on improvement in student writing, they have taken up more immediateand accessiblestudies. They have developed theories about which kinds of comments are most helpful. They have analyzed how teachers read and respond to student writing. They have studied ways that students process comments and
Research in the Teaching of English, Vol. 31, No. 1, February 1997 91

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how they use them to make changes in their writing. And they have solicited, through self-reportsurveys, students' own perceptionstoward - whether they find teachers'comments useful and, if teachercomments so, which types they find most and least helpful. A theory of response is emerging, and research in composition is beginning to show what teachershave long suspected, hoped, or assumed:that students read and make use of teachercomments and that well-designed teachercomments can help students develop as writers.While it is not clearjust how much teacher commentaryhelps improve student writing, there is a growing sense that commentingis useful and that some commentsare more helpful than others.This essay reviews the researchon how students respond to differenttypes of teachercomments and presents the results of a questionnaire conducted to investigate how first-yearcollege students react to teacher comments.
Background

Since the watershed works of Sommers (1982) and Brannonand Knoblauch (1982),researchinto teacherresponse has been developing a set of guidelines for thoughtful teacher commentary. Teachers, this research indicates, should expand the roles they assume when they comment on student writing, should move beyond the conventionalroles of examiner, critic, and judge, and should take on the roles of reader,coach, mentor, fellow inquirer, and guide (Fuller, 1987; Hodges, 1992; Horvath, 1984; Knoblauch& Brannon, 1984; Moxley, 1992; Probst, 1989;Straub 1995a; Straub & Lunsford 1995). They should see their comments as a conversation, a give-and-takedialogue with the student, not as an occasion to edit or correct a paper (Anson, 1989; Danis, 1987; Fuller, 1988; Straub 1995a).Lookingbeyond the formal text, they should considerthe writing in relation to the larger context of writing- the type of writing, the audience and purpose, and the conventions of the writer'scommunity(Anson, 1982; Baumlin & Baumlin, 1989; Fuller, 1987; Straub & Lunsford, 1995). They should focus on the writer's evolving meanings, lead students back into the chaos of revision, and gear their comments to the stage of drafting,first addressing large-scaleissues of content, focus, organization, and purpose and only later dealing more fully with surface features (Krest, 1988; Onore, 1989; Sommers, 1982; Straub & Lunsford, 1995).Instead of covering all that might be said about a piece of writing, they should concentrateon only two or three concerns at a time (Fuller, 1987; Moxley, 1989; Straub & Lunsford, 1995). They should write out their responses in full statements and text-specificcomments, using the words from the student's writing to instantiatetheir views and provide intrinsicauthorityto their comments (Greenhalgh,1992;Hayes & Daiker, 1984;Sommers, 1982;Straub, 1995a, Ziv, 1984). And, perhaps most im-

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portantly,teachersshould monitor the controltheir commentsexert over student writing. They should not make comments that harshly critique the text or foist their expectationson student writing; they should look to make comments that play back their reading of the text, offer praise, ask questions, and provide guidance, explanations, and instruction (Daiker,1989;Elbow & Belanoff,1989;Knoblauch& Brannon,1984;Moxley, 1989;Straub1995b,Straub& Lunsford 1995). have idenThese, then, are the principlesthat teachersand researchers tified as the foundation of effective response. But what do students think?How do they perceive teacher comments?Researcherswho have studied student reactions to teacher comments seem to agree about at least three claims. First,students do read and make use of teachercomments (Beach, 1979;Burkland& Grimm, 1984, Lynch & Kleman, 1978). Second, students are able to discriminateamong differentkinds of comments and find some more helpful than others (Land & Evans, 1987; Odell, 1989).Third, students appreciatecomments that reflect the teacher's involvement in what they say and engage them in an exchangeabout the writing (Beach,1989;Land & Evans, 1987;Sitko, 1992).But while the research is beginning to show that students agree that some kinds of comments are preferableto others, it is far from clear which comments they find most useful or why.
Focus

What areas of writing do students want teachersto address in their comments? Do they appreciatethe new emphasis on the overall shape and meaning of their writing? Do they value comments on surface features? Studies investigating students' reactions yield mixed results about the focus of teacher comments. Some studies suggest students appreciate genuine responses to their subject matter, though perhaps not to their ideas about it (Beach, 1989), while others suggest that students do not appreciatecomments on the content of their writing (Lynch & Kleman, 1987).Some indicate that students are interested in getting responses on other global matterssuch as development and organization(Burkland& Grimm,1984;Dohrer,1991;Ziv, 1984).Reed and Burton(1985),however, found that 88%of their students felt their writing "should be evaluated for both content and grammar" (p. 73). But, the research as a whole suggests that students have mixed views about comments on local matters of sentence structure,wording, and correctness(Burkland& Grimm, 1986;Hayes & Daiker, 1984;Lynch & Kleman, 1978). Thesevarious,and sometimesconflicting, findingsleave open a number of questionsabout students'reactionsto differingfocuses of commentary: Do students prefer comments on global matters, local matters, or both?

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Do they appreciate comments on the content of their writing? Or do they resist comments that criticize, counter, or call for changes in their ideas? Do they appreciate comments on the organization and development of the ideas they already have on the page? Do they prefer comments on some local mattersmore than others?
Specificity

Few researchstudies have directly examined how students react to different degrees of specificity, or explicitness, in teacher comments, although several have addressed the issue. Ziv's research(1984)reported case-study students "responded favorably to explicit cues" when the teacher "indicate[d]for the student exactly how he or she might revise a paper or point[ed] out a specific error"(p. 368). They responded less favorablyto "implicitcues," to the teacher"call[ing]attentionto a problem, suggesting] alternatedirections for the student to pursue, or questioning] the student about what he or she ha[d] written" (p. 369). Although Ziv's categories seem to have as much to do with the form of comments as with the specificity of comments, her study clearly suggested that students preferred to have comments explicitly expressed. Hillocks (1982)found that brief comments (fewer than 10 words) worked as well as extended comments, but that longer comments worked well when they were accompaniedby instructionrelated to their content. Other studies have noted in no uncertain terms students' views toward a whole class of traditional teacher responses: editing symbols, abbreviations,crypticmarks,and comments cast in the specializedterms or codes of writing teachers(e.g., "Frag,""Not clear,""Tighten,""Generalization").The message from these studies is clear:Studentsresoundingly do not find these commentshelpful (Hayes & Daiker,1984;Dohrer, 1991;Land & Evans, 1987;Lynch & Kleman,1978;Reed & Burton,1985). They find it difficult to understand such commentaryand consequently are put off by it. They want comments that are fully stated, clear, and specific. The question is, how specific and detailed do students want teacher comments to be?
Mode

According to the reviewed studies, students seem to agree about two types of comments they find helpful. First, they favor comments that suggest ways of making improvements(Reed & Burton,1985;Ziv, 1984). Second, students favor comments that explainwhy something is good or bad about their writing (Beach,1989;Land & Evans, 1987;Lynch & Kleman, 1978).1As Land and Evans put it: "One message was strong students wanted reasons" (p. 114). More than any other variable, researchershave sought to determine how students react to criticism and praise. They have come up with a

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tangle of conflictingand inconclusive results. A number of studies have found that students find useful and appreciatecomments that point to what they have done well (Beach,1989;Daiker, 1989;Dragga, 1988;Gee, 1972; Hayes & Daiker, 1984; Reed & Burton, 1985). Hayes and Daiker (1984)reported: how highlystudents overstate valuepositive comments we cannot Indeed, themfromdraftto draft. andhow clearly theyremember During16hours not one studentindicated that positive of taping[of studentprotocols], - were not - even single words of praisesuch as goodor nice comments useful. of response, it is thatposIf ourstudyhas confirmed any singleprinciple tool in an enlightened is the mostimportant itive reinforcement composiTeachers shouldgive at least as mucheffortto praising tion classroom. or anyother errors, suggesting improvements, goodwritingas to marking kindof commentary/' (p. 4) Other studies have found that students have mixed feelings about praise (Beach,1989;Burkland& Grimm, 1986;Land & Evans, 1987). As Burkland and Grimm note, students "are not telling us that they don't like " praise, but that they have trouble seeing it as 'useful' (p. 14). These and other studies indicate that students would find praise more helpful if it were more specific. Similarly,while some studies indicate that students react strongly against commentary that identifies only what is wrong with their writing (Barnes,1985;Beach, 1989),others have found that students appreciate criticism and see a mixture of criticism and praise as most helpful (Burkland& Grimm, 1984;Land & Evans, 1987). If students are not pleased with praise alone, they are looking for something beyond simple criticism. have also begun to investigatethe ways students interpret Researchers other, less conventionalkinds of comments. Beach (1989)found that students are ambivalent about the use of questions and interpretiveparaphrase. Yet Sitko (1992) reported that students found useful comments that simply indicated where readers had trouble following the writing. In short, while the research suggests a certain consensus about students' reactionsto some types of teachers'responses,it has left a majority of issues unresolved: - responsesthat How do students respond to directivecommentary present direct criticisms of their writing or authoritativelycall on them to make changes in their texts? Do students find suggestions among the most useful types of commentary?If so, why? Do students prefer criticismor praise or some mixture of the two? Do they find laudatory comments that are specific or elaborated more helpful than simple praise? What kinds of questions do students find most useful? Do they view questions any differentlyfrom other types of comments?

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Do students find comments that summarize the text or play back how a reader experiences,understands,and reacts to their writing helpful? Problems with Existing Studies on Student Reactions The mercurialnature of the subjectis part of what is behind the confusion about students' reactions to teacher comments. It is difficult to pin down differencesin teacher comments and, in turn, determine how one element of commentary,and not another,has affected students. It is also difficult to distinguish the effects of comments alone from the effects of the classroom context and the larger institutional setting. But a more immediate source of confusion has been the design and methods of studies. One problem has been that researchershave not gone to sufficient length in shaping their classifications of comments. Many categories found in the research are broad or undefined: criticism versus praise, corrective comments versus laudatory comments, questions that imply teacher expectations versus questions that show the teacher's engagement with the writing. When researchersreported that students did not mind "critical"commentary,what specific kinds of commentswere they referringto? Types of comments have also been grouped togetherindiscriminately, with no apparent theoretical basis. Comments that make suggestions have been grouped with comments that point to some problem or make some correction.There has been no distinction between direct criticismand indirect criticism,between one type of question and another, or between comments that tell the student to make a change and those that suggestsome change. Many researchershave not used particularcomments in their studies, but only labels for general types of commentary.In many projectsstudents were asked to indicate their preferencesfor abstractcategories of comments without sample comments to provide some definition for the category. In other projects,even those where students were given actual comments, the researchersreported their findings only in broad categorical terms, without sharply defining the boundaries between categories. Less often, but still too often, researchershave studied only different kinds of traditional,authoritarian commentaryor have stacked the deck critical comments, presenting the majorityof their sample critiagainst cisms in standard forms- in abbreviations,single words, and cryptic phrases, or in the authoritarianphrases of a critic or judge (e.g., Poor word choice, State your thesis, Needs to be organized better). Much of the researchhas dealt disproportionatelywith surfacefeaturesof writing and with the relative effects of criticism and praise. Only a few studies have investigated the best comments by the best teachersusing contemporary approachesto teaching writing.

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The Present Study The present study investigated how one group of students- freshman college writers,at a large state university, in a writing programallowing - reacted to different types of comflexibility in classroom instruction Data for the were mentary. study gathered from 172 students who reto a 40-item questionnaireabout their preferencesfor a range sponded of teacher comments. The comments were selected from responses that 20 different teachershad made on a sample student paper- a first draft of an argumentativeessay.2 (See Appendix A.) Over half of the comments were made by recognized teachers and researcherswhose work is informed by currenttheory.3 Method Students were asked to read the essay and then respond to the questionnaire. They were to assume that they were getting the draft back with teachercomments and were going to do a revision. They were told: "You know that the paper is rough and that you're going to need to do substantialrevision. What kind of comments would you prefer?"They were asked to indicate their preferencefor each comment, using a fourpoint scale: definitely prefer,prefer,do not prefer,definitely do not prefer. To get a sense of the reasoning behind their preferences,students were asked on 10 items to explain the reasons for their choices, getting as detailed as they could. (For the full questionnaire,see Appendix B.) One hundred and forty-two students completed the survey.4 The questionnairewas designed to investigate students' reactions to three variables of teacher response: the focus/ specificity, and the mode of teacher comments. Thirty-fourteacher comments dealt with global matters of content and organization;6 dealt with local matters of sentence structure, wording, and correctness. Twelve teacher comments were presented in general or abbreviatedterms; 18 were presented in more explicit ways, referringto particularpassages in the student's text, using specific language, or elaboratingthe comment in some way. To avoid some of the pitfalls of earlier studies and examine more precisely the ways that teachersframe their comments, I used a detailed system for classifying different modes of commentary.I was interested in determining the extent to which these students preferredcomments cast in different forms. I was also interested in investigating the extent to which they would connect their preferences(eitherintuitively or more consciously) to the form of the comment and its implicit degree of control. Would the students prefer types of commentarythat assert greater or lesser control over their writing or, alternately,that provide more or less direction for revision? Fifteen comments were presented in strong

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authoritativemodes, where the teacher made a criticismof the writing or used a command to request some change. Three comments offered praisefor the student's writing. Eleven comments were presented in the Ten comments were framed as questions, some open, some closed. Four items presented explanations and examples, using a follow-up commentto go back over the ground of an earlier or more general comment to explain or illustrateit. This system of classificationassumes that teacher response is, like all writing, a social action, taking place within a proscribed relationship between teacher and student. It assumes that teacher comments are marked by gestures of expectation and control, and that these gestures are tacit in the ways the comments are written on the page. The way a teacher frames a comment implicitly establishes some relationshipwith the student and exerts some degree of control over the student's writing choices. The most controlling types of commentaryare those that are framed
as corrections,criticisms, and commands: [The teacher adds "recreational" before the word "drugs" in the student's sentence in order to clarify the meaning.] (correction) These argumentsare not convincing, (evaluation;item 17) Explainwhy drugs are wrong, (command;item 15) more moderate forms of qualifiedevaluations, readerresponses,and advice.

evaluations and advice,through the use of qualifiersand the conQualified ditional mode, temper the teacher'sauthority and imply somewhat less control: I find the statements thatwe all know drugsare wrongless thanconitem35) evaluation; vincing,(qualified Yourpapermightbe clearer if you state,pointby point,youropponent's and objectively as you can.(advice; item11) view, as clearly Praiseis less controllingthan criticismor commands because it does not call for or imply any changes, but it underscoresthe teacher'svalues and agendas, thereby exerting a certain degree of control over how the student views the writing. Comments that raise questions or present nonevaluative statements about the writing tend to be less controllingthan authoritativemodes of which usually imply an evaluation or incommentary.Closedquestions, directly call on the student to consider certainrevisions, are typicallyless controlling than criticisms, imperatives, and advice, but they are more which allow the student to figure things controlling than openquestions out on her own: Have you provedthe "wrongness" of drugsjust by sayingthat they are?(closedquestion; item 19)

Students' Reactions What is it that you want me most to know about your position on LeMoult'sarticle (open question;item 3)

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The least controlling types of commentary are interpretations, reader reand explanations: sponses,lessons, Yourfirstargument dealswiththefinancial reasons forlegalizing drugs, (interpretive) I cantellyou feelverystrongly aboutthe subject, item (reader response; 27) In academic the trickis to express writing, youropinionwithauthority, item4) (instructional; [Yourpapermightbe clearer if you state,pointby point,your oppoas you can.]Thenyou can deal nent'sview, as clearlyand objectively and show the weaknesses in his position, with each of his arguments item24) (explanatory; Becausethere exists a power mismatchbetween teacherand students, all teacher comments exert control over student writing. Some comments, however, exert greatercontrolor provide a clearersense of directionthan others.The question is, how much directionor controldo students prefer in teachercommentary? Modes of response are based on two complementary assumptions. First,the form of a comment strongly influences how the comment functions and what it comes to mean. Second, any analysis of how comments function must go beyond their superficial grammaticalform. Consider the following comments, for example: Omit this paragraph. You might consider omitting this paragraph. I wonder what you gain by having this paragraphin here. - to request that These three comments might contain the same intention the paragraphbe removed. But that does not mean they are the same speech act or are synonymous. There is a change in meaning- and in the relationship established between teacher and student- when the comment changes from an imperativeto some declarativestatementand from one type of declarative statement to another. The form of a comment makes a differencein meaning. At the same time, it is not enough to analyze the outward form of comments. Some statements are more controlling than other statements, some questions are more controlling than other questions,and some questions are more controllingthan some statements. Any analysis of comments must go beyond the superficial grammaticalform and consider the voice and content of the comment and other formal markersthat instantiatevarious relationshipsbetween teacher and student. The use of the conditional mood in the comment "You might consider omitting this paragraph"gives the writer leeway in deciding whether to take up the comment and marks it as a piece of advice. In the comment "I wonder what you gain by having this para-

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graph in here/' the use of "I wonder" and the absence of any reference to what the writer should or might do constructs the comment as a - a comment that offers the teacher's experience as a reader response reader, not the judgment of a critic or the directive of an editor. In this way, the proposed modes of commentaryseek to provide ways of characterizing the different images teachers create for themselves through their comments, construablefrom the words on the page and the different degrees of control these comments imply. In actual practice the meaning of a comment is influenced by the teacher'spersona, the ongoing relationshipestablished between teacher and student, and the larger classroom setting. But it is no less the case that the meaning of a comment is largely determined by the way the comment is presented on the page. In fact, it is arguablethat, during the time the student reads a set of comments, the image of the teacherthat comes off the page becomes the teacher for that student and has an immediate impact on what those comments come to mean. This study assumes that there is something to be gained by a close examinationof the ways teachersframe their comments and, in doing so, createthemselves on the page. It is an initial attempt to understand,from an a-contextual perspective, how students seem to value differentkinds of teachercomments. I took it up in spite of its obvious limitations because it could offer provisional insights into how students seem to react to various kinds of comments and provide a foundation for furtherstudies. Results The results of this study indicated that the students were quite adept at making distinctions among different types of comments and, as in Odell's (1989) and Sitko's (1992) studies, had sound, clearly articulated reasons for the comments they deemed most useful. Overall, they seemed to be influenced far less by the focus of teacher comments than of the comments and the modes of commentary. by the degree of specificity
Focus

Students in the survey did not prefer comments on global matters of ideas, development, and organizationmore than commentson local matters of wording, sentence structure, and correctness. They seemed equally interestedin getting responses on both, a finding which confirms the observationsof Reed and Burton(1985).On the \-A scale, the global comments were rated the same as local comments:2.2. Within these two broad groups, however, the students showed a greater preferencefor some types of comments than others.They clearlyappreciatedcomments on organization and development, corroboratingthe reports of Dohrer

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(1991)and Burklandand Grimm (1986).Both types of comments earned a rating of 1.9, the best among the focuses of commentary. Not surprisingly, the students were wary about comments on their ideas, but they were especially wary about comments that looked negatively on or somehow worked against the ideas that were alreadydown on the page. Unlike the students in Lynch and Kleman's study (1978), students in this projectdid not look unfavorablyon all comments about their content but only those that countered the students' ideas and (as they may have seen it) tried to foist the teacher'sviews on the writing. As a group, they gave comments that acknowledged the ideas on the page a favorablerating of 2.0, among them the following:
Good- you've defined the particularissues with which you do not agree and summarizedthe author'sargument,(item 23) In the last paragraph,you say that "LeMoult'spoints are good and true but I believe he is approachingthe subject in the wrong manner."What of LeMoult'spoints are "good and true"? How is he "approachingthe subject"?Why is he approachingthe problem "in the wrong manner"? (item 38)

As one student explaining his response to item 38 put it: "It'staking the author's idea and trying to develop it, not change it." By contrast,they gave comments that worked againsttheir ideas a 2.6. The following comments in particularwere rated poorly:
I don't think we'll get anywhere with the circularargumentthat drug use is criminaland should not be legalized, (item 13) These argumentsare not convincing, (item 17) You've missed his point, (item 18)

The students seemed genuinely appreciative,as in Beach'sstudy (1989), when a comment made it clear that the teacher got involved with the subject through their writing. According to one student who was responding to a well-developed advisory comment, "Thiscomment shows the teacher really had to think about what was written and didn't just jot down a few spelling errors." Students' responses to the few items directed to local concerns indicated that they were amenableto receiving comments on sentence structure and mattersof correctness,as Lynch and Kleman (1978)report.The students seemed decidedly less favorabletoward comments on wording, as in Hayes and Daiker's (1984)study. Perhapswhereas they saw judgments about grammar and sentence structure as matters of right and wrong, they saw comments asking for a reconsiderationof word choice as reflecting the idiosyncratic preferences of the teacher. Because the questionnairedid not ask students to indicate the reasoningbehind their preferenceson any items dealing with local matters, no further examination of student choices about the focus of comments was possible.

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Specificity

Students responded to the specificity of comments in ways that are entirely consistent with researchand theory. The more specific and elaborate the comments, the more students preferred them. Clarity was a given; students did not respond favorablyto any comment that they saw as unclear, vague, or difficult to understand. The 12 most general comments on the survey, which averaged 6 words per item, received an overall rating of 2.5. Many students were baffled or put off by these comments, as indicated by their written responses to items 1 and 8, which call on the student to do more than "just generalize" and to "tighten up" the writing:
Too common on papers. Teachersalways write this. They should be more specific, (item 1) We've been told this since 8th grade. The problemmust be stated more in depth- it's a generalization,(item 1) What evidence and facts?Don't generalize your commentseither, (item 1) Tightened up? The teachershould be more specific. This does not tell me anything, (item 8) What do you mean by tightened up- if you want us to explain and be specific, you must be also, (item 8)

The students preferredcommentsthat addressed specificmatterson their writing in specific ways. The 9 items that were specific but unelaborated (averaging19 words per item) were rated at 2.3, among them the following comments:
You must show, in more specific terms, exactly what damage society suffers from drug users, (item 7) Are there other things that are bad for the body that most members of society do not consider wrong? (item 12)

- and enthusiasticallyexFarand away, these students most preferred their for comments that were specific and elabopressed appreciation rate. The 9 most detailed comments in the study were rated at 1.8. Six of these comments were among the 9 comments students most preferred in the survey as a whole, including the following:
Perhaps there is something that you could use to your advantage in the behavior of other sorts of addicts:smokers, gamblers,shoppers?(item 20) Your paper might be clearerif you state, point by point, your opponent's view, as clearly and objectivelyas you can. Then you can deal with each of his argumentsand show the weaknesses in his position, (item 24) In your next draft try to focus on developing more convincingarguments against legalized drugs. For instance,what can you do to show how drugs like marijuanaand cocaine would be more dangerous if they were legal and thereforemore available?(item 40)

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These findings corroborateZiv's claims (1984) about students' preferences for explicit comments and the conclusions of Hayes and Daiker (1984) about students' preferences for longer, text-specific, thoughtful commentary.They also confirmthe speculations of Sommers (1982)and others who call on teachers to write out their comments fully. The students seemed to be indicating quite clearly that they want comments that they can understand and that point specifically to issues in their writing.
Mode

Across the items on the survey, the students seemed sensitive to the - as indicatedboth by the strikingpatterns differentmodes of comments in their rating of comments and in their written responses to the 10 survey items calling for explanations for their ratings. Three-fourthsof the students noted in their follow-up remarksthat their preferenceswere influencedby how a comment was presented or how it made the teacher come across as a responder. One-fourthmade specific reference to the way the comment was formed in at least 4 of the 10 items in which they were asked to explain their preferences.They spoke of how some comments sounded helpful and encouraging,while other commentssounded harsh and critical. They noted how some comments made the teacher come across as thoughtful and caring and how others made the teacher come across as judgmental or sarcastic.They indicated that some comments helped the writer develop ideas and that others forced the teacher's views on the writer. Some students were able to make even finer distinctions, distinguishing between comments that offer "suggestions" and those that "tell the student what to do" and between commentsthat only note that something is wrong and those that let the writer know how the writing can be improved. As Table 1 indicates, a direct connection appeared between student preferencesand the modes of commentary.Students did not like comments, on the one hand, that took controlof theirwriting or, on the other, that failed to provide constructivecriticismor ways to improve the writing. They preferredand found most useful comments framed in moderate modes- comments that provided direction, did not insist on a certainpath for revision, and came across to them as helpful. They did - and in many cases balked at- comments framed in highly not prefer directive modes, responses that stated in no uncertain terms how the writing should be done and that pushed the teacher's views on the writer.Whatfollows is an examinationof student reactionsto the various modes of teacher commentary. Criticism The students least preferredthe types of comments that they were, ironically, probably most familiarwith- criticisms.Four of the 5 comments

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Table 1 Students' Ratings of Various Modes of Commentary

Mode Criticism item: average: Praise item: average: Imperative item: average: Total 05 2.6 39 1.8 01 2.1 13 3.1 23 1.7 07 1.7 17 3.0 27 2.2 08 2.6 09 2.3 15 2.1 22 3.1 29 2.1 33 2.0 18 3.2 25 2.8 30 2.2 35 2.4 10 2.5 32 2.5 2.70

1.93 34 2.5 2.28

Advisory item: 02 11 16 20 24 31 36 40 2.1 2.1 1.6 1.8 1.4 2.1 1.6 1.3 average: Closed Question item: 06 14 19 26 37 2.2 2.3 2.1 2.6 2.05 average: Open Question item: 03 12 21 28 38 2.5 2.2 2.0 2.2 1.5 average: Note: 4 = "definitely do not prefer/' scale,with 1 = "definitely 4-point prefer/'

1.76

2.24

2.08

they rated as the least preferablein the study were terse, negative evaluations: You'vemissedhis point,(item18:rated3.2) I don'tthinkwe'll get anywhere with the circular thatdruguse argument is criminal and shouldnot be legalized, (item13:rated3.1) Thesearguments arenot convincing, (item17:rated3) Not so. See above,(item25:rated2.8) These students were not against having problems in their writing pointed out; they were against having them pointed out in highly judgmental ways. They felt that there were better ways to present these responses. As one student put it, "I prefercomments that don't necessarily come right out and say it is bad, but objectivelytry to give advice to the writer." The students viewed qualified evaluations and reader responses in slightly more favorableterms: There's nothingwrongwith you pickingon partof his argument (legal- buttheeffect theotherpart("let's izing)andignoring justthinkaboutit")

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is somehow to make it seem as though you are having a closed mind and saying "Let'snot even think about it." (item 10: rated 2.5) - that drugs are so dangerous I hear LeMoultsaying something different to society largely because laws make them illegal, (item 32: rated 2.5) I find the statementsthat we all know drugs are wrong less than convincing, (item 35: rated 2.4)

A numberof students seemed to preferthese qualifiedcomments,where the teacher filters her responses through her subjectivityas a reader, to straightcriticisms.They felt these comments had a softer tone, and they appreciatedthe way the comments offered an individual reader's perspective on the writing:
The readerstresses that this is his opinion, [item 35] - it doesn't tell how to write the Gives a viewpoint he/she should consider paper, [item 35] The teacherpoints out a possible problemin readerinterpretation and does it in a polite way. [item 10] A writer may not view his paper as another person does, and by using this comment, the instructorshows the writer how others may view his paper, [item 10] But a number of students still felt the comments were more critical than necessary: I don't like the way it is stated. It sounds extremelytoo critical,[item 35] Maybe this comment is true but the teacherdoesn't need to say "less than convincing."Don't slam the student, [item 35] Good comment,but it's somewhat harsh, [item 10] Though I agree with the teacherI don't think this is a helpful statementto the writer. It seems condescending.[10] A number of students also had trouble in item 10 with the way they saw the teacher taking control over the student's writing: The teacherwants the paper to go his/her way. This statementshows me that the teacherwon't let a student write about his own views. This commentisn't necessary.It is the teacher'spersonalcommentand not one that benefits the student's paper. They also indicated that they had trouble with the way comment 37 "Do we? All drugs?" hinged on what they saw as the teacher's opinion: It's just the teacher'sopinion, this is not a helpful comment. The paper isn't about the teachersopinion but of the students. We should work with the students opinion, after all its his paper. These reactions indicate that these students did not necessarily see qualified comments in ways that the teachers may have intended - as state-

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merits that are admittedly subjective, the responses of a teacher in the role of a reader more than that of critic or judge. Imperatives The students had mixed reactions to another form of traditional response: imperativecomments that call on them to make some change in the writing. On the one hand, they recognizedthat the commentspointed out problems that needed to be addressed. As one student explained in response to item 1: "Even though it's telling him [or] her how to write the paper, it's basic info that would make the paper more effective."On the other hand, they did not like the harshness of the commands,as the following students noted, again in explaining their reactionsto item 1: Theteacher is too harshin gettingherpointacross. Theteacher is beingabrupt. Thestudent wouldthinksheis terribly wrong. The students seemed more receptive to imperativecommentswhen they - and, perhapsas a result,came were presentedprecisely and specifically across more positively. Although a number of students found the response in item 1- "Don't just generalize. Support your ideas with evi- "harsh"and "abrupt,"more were satisfied to have a dence and facts" valid problem pointed out to them clearly and directly. As one student put it: "This helps say what is wrong exactly. The first half of the sentence by itself would be a '4'." Only three of the imperative comments - and these were probably rated poorly because received poor ratings they are stated in terms that are not only vague but also blunt and critical: Yoursecondargument. Now developthis one. (item34:rated2.6) - ] but it needsto be tightened [Goodmaterial up. (item8: rated2.6) Youneedto tightenup yourthinking as wellas yourexpression, (item22: rated3.1) More likely than not, the ubiquitousteacherterm "tighten"did not make the last two comments any more appealing.As one student put it, "What the hell does 'tightened up' mean? The comment is a good one, but it is very very unclear and helpless." Praise The students responded favorably to praise. The two comments that offered positive evaluations were among the most favored in the study. They preferred praise accompanied by an explanation of what the teacher saw as good (item 23) slightly more than the simple, unelaborated evaluation "Good" (item 39). These students were not particular - they appreciatedit wherever it turned about where they found praise did not appreciateitem 8 as a whole, they did respond up. Although they

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well to the simple laudatorycomment that leads into the call for revision: - but it needs to be tightened up." Students who rated "Good material the response favorablyexplained their reasoning this way: It offerspositiveapproval, but also gives positivemotivation. Givespositivecomment firstand then offersa bit of adviceto help the paper. Letsme knowtheylike the idea I'mpresenting, but I needto rework it. The students were lukewarm about positive evaluations cast in the form of reader responses. They rated item 27- "I can tell you feel very - less favorablythan straightpraise, perhaps strongly about the subject" because it praises the writing only indirectly. The students seemed to want to know when they were doing something well in their writing. As Gee (1972), Dragga (1988), Hayes and Daiker (1984), and Daiker (1989)have observed, many may even be hungry for praise.5 Advice Hands down, the students most preferredcomments presentedas advice and commentsthat offered explanations.As a group, the 8 advisory comments averaged 1.7 on the four-point scale, easily the best score in the study.6 Five of the comments in the category (items 16, 20, 24, 36, 40) were among the 9 items that were the most preferredacross the survey. They saw advisory comments as positive and helpful- the comments of an encouraging teacher or guide rather than the marks of a critic. As they noted in explaining their reactions to item 2 ("In your next draft try to focus on developing more convincing argumentsagainst legalized drugs"): in a way thatmakesthe teacher seem like they the problem It identifies care. Offered help for the nextdraft,not puttingdown. They also saw the advice presented in item 2 as preferableto the imperative presented in item 1 because it was more positive: thanthe previous statement. It'sjustplainadvice Thisis a better approach to help. thatgives the writeroptionsof whatto Thisis a morepositivestatement change. They were unanimous in seeing the same strengths in item 16. Some appreciatedthe helpfulness of the comment: Gottalike the help! the Thisis very helpfuladvice.Thewriternow knowshow to approach nextdraft. - showsthe writer andhelpsthem whatit is theyarelacking Veryhelpful the ideas. by triggering

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Others liked the way the advice established a softer tone than directive modes of commentaryand left them in greater control of their writing:
Suggestions are given instead of gripes. The teachergave a sound suggestion that would probablybe very helpful without criticizingthe author in any capacity. It'll help them think more and write the paper better. They don't tell him/her how to write it. May offer some ideas and material,but this comment is an "offeredsuggestion," not a command. Some appreciated the response because, beyond the suggestion, it provided detailed help: Gives examples on how to make the paper better. Teachersare for guidance in the subject,not to rip everything apart. This tells me how to support my thesis rather than saying I'm not supporting it. The detail is what is important. [I give it a T] because it gives the student ideas to explore. The teacher could have just said the first part [before "like cigarettes"]which would have been no help.

One student summed up her sense of all that is good about this comment in a word: "Perfect." Tellingly, the comments that fared best with students were those that offered advice, followed up this advice with an example or explanation, and worked with the ideas the student already had down on the page,7 as in the following comments, which received the best ratings in the study, 1.4 and 1.3:
Your paper might be clearerif you state, point by point, your opponent's view, as clearly and objectivelyas you can. Then you can deal with each of his argumentsand show the weaknesses in his position, (item 24) In your next draft try to focus on developing more convincingarguments against legalized drugs. For instance,what can you do to show how drugs like marijuanaand cocaine would be more dangerous if they were legal and thereforemore available?(item 40)

Every comment framed as advice in the study was met favorably.None was rated over 2.1, the average for the 40 items on the survey.8 Explanations The students gave the four responses with added examples and explanations (items 20, 23, 24, and 40) a rating of 1.56, better than any other type of commentaryin the study. Just how much students appreciated such explanatorycomments is furtherindicated by how they reacted to items 11 and 24. Both responses offered the same advice, but while one made the suggestion and stopped, the other went on to offer an explanation for the advice:

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if you state,pointby point,youropponent's Yourpapermightbe clearer as you can.(item11) and objectively view, as clearly if you state,pointby point,youropponent's Yourpapermightbe clearer as you can.Thenyou can deal with each view, as clearlyand objectively in his position, and show the weaknesses of his arguments (item24) The students appreciatedboth responses, but they overwhelmingly preferreditem 24 (1.4), rating it almost a full point better than item 11 (2.1). They obviously responded strongly to the added explanationfor the suggested change, probably because it made the comment clearer,or tempered the authority behind the comment by indicating why such a change would be good, or both. Questions These students were generally receptive to questions,but they were particularlyreceptiveto open questions. They seemed to appreciatethe freedom and control over their writing that comments framed as questions offered. They appreciatedquestions that offered direction or help more than comments that implicitly criticizedtheir writing or challengedthem to make revisions. The average rating for open questions was 2.08, the third-most preferredmode of commentary in the study behind advice (1.76) and explanations (1.56). The average rating for closed questions was considerablyless favorable:2.24, only a notch betterthan imperative comments. The students responded especially enthusiasticallyto open questions that were elaboratedand tried to lead students to develop the ideas they already had on the page: How canyou explainand supporttheseviews so theywill be moreconof the publication? (item21) vincingto readers In the last paragraph, pointsare good and true you say that "LeMoult's in the wrongmanner/'What the subject but I believehe is approaching the of LeMoult's pointsare "goodand true"?How is he "approaching the problem"in the wrongmanner"? Why is he approaching subject"? (item38) They liked item 21 because it offered direction even as it allowed them to decide which changes, if any, were to be made: allowsthe writerto comeup with ideasof his own,without Thequestion intoa corner suggestion. by a specific beingbacked whathe/she haswritten. and think about to answer thewriter Leaves open the paper.Veryconstructive. to correct Posesa challenge to you. is tryingto helpwithoutgivingthe information Theteacher Those who did not like this question said they wanted more direction and a clearersense of what the teacher wanted: wants. Leaves you in the air aboutwhatthe teacher

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Couldyou say it another way?Moreexplicitly perhaps? I'd rather be givensuggestions. Item 38, the most detailed open question in the study, was their favorite comment in the form of a question and the third-most preferredcomment on the overall survey, earning a rating of 1.5. They appreciatedthe specificityof the comment as well as the open-ended approachprovided by the questions, as the following reactionssuggest: Thismakesthe writerexamine to themselves withoutthe teacher having - see for tell themwhat is wrong.Thewritercan answerthesequestions himselfif the papermakessense. Thesequestions thatthe reader and then poses leavethe writerto reflect fill in missingsections. and uniquely creatively Verydetailed, reallyreadit and was therefore gives writersenseteacher interested. Specific placesto look,not generalities. The students were less enthusiastic about, but still were favorable toward, comments 12 and 28, which were shorter and more general: of Are thereotherthingsthat are bad for the body that most members societydo not consider wrong? Is thisimportant to yourargument? - "What is it that The one open question they did not view favorably want me most to know about on LeMoult's article, you your position be seen from their 'LegalizeDrugs'?" might perspectiveas having two drawbacks.It is stated only in general terms, and it poses a problem for the student to work through on her own more than it helps or directs her to make improvementsin the writing. They might have felt that the question was too open-ended. The students gave closed questions a mixed review and finally preferred them only to criticismand commands. They were most receptive to closed questions that, even though they might have implied the teacher's criticism, seemed to offer help or direction more than simply confronting the student with a problem: Do we? All drugs?(item37;rated2.05) Have you provedthe "wrongness" of drugsjust by sayingthey are?Is alcoholalso "wrong"? (item19;rated2.1) Canyou breakup thesesentences so I canfollowyourideasmoreeasily? (item6; rated2.2) They were least receptive to comments that they saw as more critical than helpful: Is thisyouronly and mostimportant (item14;rated2.3) argument? andtobacco. are Wouldyou makeuse What, then,of alcohol They "legal." of themcriminal? (item26;rated2.6)

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Nevertheless, they still preferred comments in the form of questions more than straightcriticisms.Thus, while many students found comment 26 as excessively harsh and critical,some said they found it useful and positive. The following sample reactionsillustratethese mixed views: the student.The teacher soundslike he is attacking should The teacher thatwouldhelp the paper. only suggestand makepositiveremarks the studentwouldmostdefinitely be offended. Soundsso sarcastic, out that the writer have not thought The teacher may something points aboutbut does not wrongherfor not doingso. I like this becauseit helps you thinkmoreaboutrevisionsto be made withoutmaking you feel ignorant. The students found questions most useful, then, when they provided a clear sense of direction for revision and left room for them to act on the comment on their own. They did not appreciate questions that were framed in harsh or criticalways or that implied some criticism of their writing. Summary First and foremost, these students wanted comments that are clear and understandableand that, in their eyes, are valid and appropriateto their subject,point of view, and purpose. In explaining the reasoning behind their reactions, they consistently pointed to the clarity and validity of the comment. They balked at vague or generic comments. The students indicated an overwhelming preference for comments that were specific. The more specific and elaborate,the more they liked them. It is safe to say that, in their eyes, if a comment is to be helpful, it must be stated clearly and specifically, in language that will connect them back to their writing. They welcomed comments that pointed out problems and indicated ways to improve their writing. They generally did not mind being told what was wrong or not working in their writing- especially when the comment was presented in positive ways and cast in terms of guidance or help. In fact, they expected teacher comments to tell them how they had done on the writing and what they could do to improve it. The students seemed to appreciate comments on all areas of their writing, but they were sensitive about comments on the quality of their ideas and resisted comments that deal with matters that go beyond the scope of the ideas they have on the page. They seemed to value comments on organization,development, and local mattersof form and correctness. They seemed less likely to mind criticism when it dealt with local matters that could be easily fixed. The students recognized differences in the ways comments are - and were aware of the attitudes, roles, and power relationsereframed

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ated by different modes of commentary. The way a comment was presented made a difference.They most favored comments in moderate modes, responses that offered help or directionbut did not take control of the writing. Most of all, they appreciated comments in the form of - even if it was only preadvice and explanations.They liked all praise sented barely in the single-word comment "good" or presented in tandem with criticism.The best praise, as other researchershave indicated, was that which also provided reasons for something being good. Students also seemed to like comments in the form of open questions, especially when they were expressed in specific terms and presented in a helpful way. They did not appreciatestraight or harsh evaluative comments- especially those dealing with content and those presented in general terms. They were able to detect subtle evaluationsthat were presented indirectly in reader-response comments, and preferred these modes slightly more than straightevaluations.They gave a mixed review to imperativecomments and to closed questions. They appreciatedcomments that pointed to problems that needed to be addressed, but they did not like any comments that were presented in a harsh, judgmental, authoritativetone. Overall, the students preferredcomments that offered some direction for improvement but asserted only moderate control over the writing. They most preferredcomments in the form of advice and explanations, since these comments typically are specific, offer direction for revision, and come across as help. Conclusion This study examined through a survey how one group of students- 142 - reactedto differenttypes of first-yearwriters at a large state university teachercomments, especially differentmodes of commentary.The questionnairecomments were written by teachersand rated by students outside an actual classroom setting. Further,they were presented individually, in isolation, separated from other comments made by the same teacher.Studentswere given the student essay and the sampling of comments and were asked to indicate which comments they would prefer and not prefer if they had received them. The study suggests that many students may have certainpreferences for the way comments on papers are framed. It suggests that they may - and be more inclined to receive some types of comments than others be more likely to balk at, or have difficulty with, certain other types of response. It further suggests that teachers may want to consider how their comments are being received in relation to their intentions. The study's method assumed that the way the comments are presented on the page has an immediate and significanteffect on the relationshipes-

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tablished between teacher and student and on how the student views the comments. The study does not purport to suggest how all students or students - or even how students in other in general perceive teacher comments settings would view the same types of comments. No doubt, the particular context has an effect on how students view teacherresponse. In the full context of the classroom,the directive comments of one teachermay not be comparableto the directive comments of another teacher. Nondirective comments may be frustrating to one student, yet provide a helpful challenge to another. In some settings, with some teachers and students, the types of comments studied here may come across as more or less favorable,more or less controlling,more or less helpful. I do not see this kind of study as necessarily preferableto the contextual study of response in the complex social settings of actual classrooms. Nor do I see it as necessarily conflicting with these other kinds of inquiry. It is an alternativemethod of study. It presents preliminaryfindings about how one population of college students reacted to different types of response and looks to provide an impetus for furtherstudy. Futurestudies might take up any number of questions, such as how students react to comments made on their own writing in actual classroomsettings, what views about effective commentaryteachersand students share, on what issues they diverge,9 what differences there might be between nativeborn and foreign-bornstudents, and how students react to comments when the issues of response are defined by the student, not decided simply by the teacher. Ultimately,this researchsuggests that teachersthink more fully about the kinds of comments they make on student writing, how those comments represent themselves and their students on the page, and how they will likely be received. If "successful"comments are, by definition, those that turn students back to their writing and lead them to make better informed choices as writers, we need to continue to investigate how students view different types of comments and how we can make responses that challenge and encourage them to work productively on their writing. Notes
1. It is not always clear how these various researchersdefine "explanations'' and "suggestions."Lynch and Kleman(1978),for instance,seem to blur the distinctionbetween comments that explainwhy something is wrong and those that indicatethat something is wrong. Similarly,it is sometimes unclear whether a researcheris using the term "suggestion"to refer to any commentsthat point to some needed revision or, more specifically,to comments that advise students to make a change without necessarilyexpecting that change to be made. 2. The essay was written in response to the following assignment,in the middle of a first-yearwriting course: Select from a journal,magazine, or newspaper a

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(1995)conducted on the way 12 teacher-theorists respond to student writing. 3. These responsesappearedin Twelve Readers The 12 readersare:Chris Reading. Anson, Peter Elbow, Anne Gere, Glynda Hull, RichardLarson,Ben McClelland, FrankO'Hare,JanePeterson,Donald Stewart,PatriciaStock,Tilly Warnock,and EdwardWhite. 4. Students who were reluctantto complete the survey were encouragednot to participateor simply to stop when they wanted. Thirtystudents were eliminated from the study either because they indicatedthey did not want to complete it or because they failed to respond to at least half of the items. 5. Perhapsafter seeing only four laudatorycomments in a 40-item survey (and few laudatory responses in their classroom experience), these students were primed to respond favorablyto any comments that offered praise. 6. In more practicalterms, every differenceof .5 between two commentsmeans - half of the total respondentsin the study- rateda comment that 60-70 students one point higher or lower than the other. For example, the differencebetween the 2.6 rating on item 26 and the 2.1 rating on item 31 means that 62 students rated item 31 as more preferableby one point. A differenceof a full rating (1.0) between two comments would mean that on average all students in the survey rated one comment a full point better than another. 7. Although students responded favorably to items 16 and 20, they may not have respondedto them quite as positively as they did to items 24 and 40 because both of the formersuggestions delve into areas beyond those the writer herself has broached:
Beforewriting the next draft,you might try listing as many things you can thinkof - like cigarettes,firearms,skydiving,and that are legal and that are also dangerous over-the-counter drugs- and consider how these things are different from illegal drugs. Then choose the best argumentsand work them into your essay, (item 16) Perhapsthere is something that you could use to your advantage in the behavior of other sorts of addicts:smokers,gamblers,shoppers, (item 20)

Readers Reading: Responding to College Student Writing, a study Lunsford and I

recent article on an issue you are interested in, one that presents a view you disagree with or that you find some problem with. In an essay intended for the same publication,write a response to the article/' The essay appears in Twelve

8. The extent of students' agreementabout their strong preferencefor advice is indicatedby the standarddeviation on their ratingsfor the 8 advisorycomments. It is .84, the lowest in the study, indicatingonly a minorvariationin the students' preferencesfor items in the group. 9. As a group, the accomplished teachers whose work is analyzed in Twelve Readers seem to respond in ways that are not inconsistentwith the stuReading dents' preferencesin this study. The 12 teachers balanced criticismand praise and made regularuse of advice and explanatorycomments.They also wrote out comments in full, text-specificstatements and distributedtheir comments over the full range of focuses. But informalstudies I have done of two other groups of teachers indicate that teachers and students may very well have different views about teachercomments.I asked a small group of experiencedteachersat a recent compositionconferenceand a small group of new teachingassistantsto respond to a sampling of comments from the questionnairein this study. Both groups rated the commentsquite differentlyfrom the large student group in this study.

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Hillocks,G. (1982).The interactionof instruction,teachercomment,and revision in teachingthe composing process. Research in theTeaching 16, 261of English, 277. Hodges, E. (1992). The unheard voices of our responses to students' writing. 11, 203-217. Journal of Teaching Writing, Horvath,B. (1984).The componentsof written response:A practicalsynthesis of currentviews. Rhetoric Review,2, 136-156. Knoblauch,C.H., & Brannon,L. (1981).Teachercommentaryon student writing: The state of the art. Freshman EnglishNews, 10, 1-4. traditions and the teaching Knoblauch,C.H., & Brannon,L. (1984). Rhetorical of writing.Upper Montclair,NT:Bovnton/Cook. Krest,M. (1988).Monitoringstudent writing:How not to avoid the draft.Journal 7, 27-39. of Teaching Writing, Land,R.E.,& Evans,S. (1987).Whatour students taughtus aboutpapermarking. 76, 113-116. Journal, English Lynch, C, & Kleman, P. (1978).Evaluatingour evaluations. College English,40, 166-180. Marzano, R.J., & Arthur, S. (1977). Teacher comments on student essays: It doesn't matter what you say. Study at the University of Colorado, Denver. (ERICDocument ReproductionService No. ED 147 864). Moxley, J. (1989). Responding to student writing: Goals, methods, alternatives. Freshman EnglishNews, 17, 3-11. Moxley, J. (1992).Teachers'goals and methods of respondingto student writing. Studies,20, 17-33. Composition Odell, L. (1989). Responding to responses:Good news, bad news, unanswered stuquestions. In B. Lawson,S. Ryan, & W.R.Winterowd(Eds.),Encountering dent texts:Interpretive issues in readingstudentwriting(pp. 221-234). Urbana, IL:National Council of Teachersof English. Onore, C. (1989).The student, the teacher, and the text: Negotiating meanings andresponse: throughresponse and revision.In C. Anson (Ed.), Writing Theory, research practice, (pp. 231-260). Urbana, IL: National Council of Teachersof English. Probst, R.E. (1989).Transactional theory and response to student writing. In C. Anson (Ed.), Writing and response: research Theory, practice, (pp. 68-79). Urbana, IL:National Council of Teachersof English. Reed, W.M.,& Burton,J.K.(1985).Effectiveand ineffectiveevaluationof essays: 4, 270-282. Perceptionsof college freshmen.Journal of Teaching Writing, Sitko, B. (1992).Writersmeet their readersin the classroom:Revising afterfeedback. In M. Secor & D. Charney (Eds.), Constructing education rhetorical (pp. 278-293). Carbondale,IL:SouthernIllinois University Press. andComSommers,N. (1982).Respondingto student writing. College Composition munication, 33, 148-156. Straub,R. (1995a).Teacherresponse as conversation:More than casual talk, an Review,14, 374-399. exploration.Rhetoric Straub,R. (1995b).The concept of control in teacher response:Defining the varieties of "directive"and "facilitative"commentary.CollegeComposition and Communication, 47, 223-251. to college Straub, R., & Lunsford, R.F. (1995). Twelvereaders reading: Responding studentwriting.Cresskill,NJ:Hampton Press. Ziv, N. (1984). The effect of teacher comments on the writing of four college freshmen. In R. Beach, & L. Bridwell, (Eds.), New directions in composition research(pp. 362-380). New York:Guilford.

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Appendix A: Sample Essay

What If Drugs Were Legal? What if drugs were legal? Could you imagine what it would do to our society? Well accordingto JohnE. LeMoult,a lawyer with twenty years of experienceon the subject,feels we should at least consider it. I would like to comment on his article "Legalize Drugs" in the June 15, 1984, issue of the New YorkTimes.I disagree with LeMoult'sidea of legalizing drugs to cut the cost of crime. LeMoult'sarticle was short and sweet. He gives the backgroundof the legalization of drugs. For example, the first antidrug laws of the United Stateswere passed in 1914.The laws were put in effect because of the threatof the Chinese imagrants.In addition,he explains how women were the first to use laudanun, an over the counter drug, as a substitute for drinking;it was unacceptablefor women to drink. By explaining this he made the reader feel that society was the cause of women using the substitute,laudanun, for drinking.LeMoultproceeded from there to explain how the money to buy drugs comes from us as society. Since drug addicts turn to crime to get money we become a corrupt society. Due to this we spend unnecessary money protecting inocent citizens by means of law enforcment,jails, and ect. LeMoultsays that if we legalize drugs that "Overnightthe cost of law enforcement,courts,judges, jails and would be cut in half. The savings in tax would convict rehabilitation be more than $50 billion a year." LeMoultmight be correctby saying that our cost of living in society would be cut in half if drugs were legalized, however, he is justifyinga wrong to save money. In my opinion legalizing drugs is the easy man's way out. Just because crime is high due to the fact that the cost of drugs is unbelievableit doesn't make legalizing them right. We all know drugs are dangerous to the body and society without any explanation,therefore,you shouldn'tlegalize something that is dangerous. My only and most importantargument to LeMoult is the physical harm it would bring by legalizing drugs. People abuse their right to I use alcoholicbeveragesbecause they are legal. Forexample,LeMoult himself says the amount of drug addicts is small compared to alco- of course it is because of the legalization of alcohol. holies. Why? When you make something legal it can and will be done with little hassel. Why allow something to be done with ease when it is wrong? LeMoult'spoints are good and true but I believe he is approachin the subjectin the wrong manner.Drugs are wrong, therefore,should not be legal! ~q

28 8 23

5 12 37 14 25

-j 7 1

34

g 15 18
19

Note:The numbers in the margin of this essay key the 21 comments in the questionnairein Appendix B to the passages in the student essay to which they refer. The rest of the comments on the questionnaireoriginallyappearedin end notes or letters to the student.

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1997 in the Teaching Research of English, 31, February

Appendix B: Questionnaire for Students and the Average Score for Each Item
I have been conducting researchfor several years now on BACKGROUND: the ways teacherscommenton their students' writing. Up to this point, I've been focusing on what teachershave to say about their commenting.Now I want to look at what studentsthink about teachercomments.For this project,I'm particularly interestedin finding out which kinds of commentsyou prefer. The comments listed below were taken from the responses that about 20 teachers made on the same student paper, a rough draft in which the writer argues againstnewspapercolumnistJohnLemoult'sarticlecalling for us to think about legalizing drugs like marijuana and cocaine.Let'sassume you were getting this draft back with teacher comments and were going to do a revision. You know that the paper is rough and that you're going to need to do substantial revising. What kind of comments would you prefer? Read the student essay, "What If Drugs Were Legal," and then respond to
each of the 40 items below, beginning with the numberyou're assigned.

DIRECTIONS: Indicate your preferencefor each of the following comments by circlingone of the descriptors.In your responses as a whole, try to distribute your scores across all four categories.On the 10 items that are markedwith an asterisk,briefly explain the reason(s)for your choice.1 1. Don't just generalize.Supportyour ideas with evidence and facts. (2.1)2*EXPLAIN: 2. In your next draft try to focus on developing more convincing arguments against legalized drugs. (2.1) "EXPLAIN: 3. What is it that you want me most to know about your position on LeMoult's article, "LegalizeDrugs"?(2.5) - but 4. In academicwriting, the trickis to express your opinion with authority to make sure your argumentis more than just your opinion. (2.1) 5. Awk. [Next to the sentence "We all know drugs are dangerous . . . without which the teacherunderlines.](2.6) any explanation/' 6. Can you breakup these sentencesso I can follow your ideas more easily?(2.2) 7. You must show, in more specific terms, exactly what damage society suffers from drug users. (1.7) 8. Good material- but it needs to be tightened up. (2.6) "EXPLAIN: 9. Don't use "my" or "you";stick with the third person. (2.3) 10. There'snothing wrong with you picking on part of his argument(legalizing) and ignoring the other part ("let's just think about it")- but the effect is somehow to make it seem as though you are having a closed mind and saying "Let'snot even think about it." (2.5) "EXPLAIN: 11. Your paper might be clearer if you state, point by point, your opponent's view, as clearly and objectivelyas you can. (2.1) 12. Are there other things that are bad for the body that most membersof society do not consider wrong? (2.2) 13. I don't think we'll get anywhere with the circularargumentthat drug use is criminaland should not be legalized. (3.1) 14. Is this your only and most importantargument?[Next to the sentence "My only and most importantargumentto LeMoultis the physical harmit would bring by legalizing drugs."] (2.3) 15. Explainwhy drugs are wrong. (2.1) 16. Beforewriting the next draft, you might try listing as many things you can

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think of that are legal and that are also dangerous - like cigarettes, firearms, skydiving, and over-the-counter drugs and consider how these things are different from illegal drugs. Then choose the best arguments and work them into your essay. (1.6) 'EXPLAIN: 17. These arguments are not convincing. (3) 18. You've missed his point. (3.2) 19. Have you proved the "wrongness" of drugs just by saying that they are? Is alcohol also "wrong"? (2.1) 20. Perhaps there is something that you could use to your advantage in the behavior of other sorts of addicts: smokers, gamblers, shoppers? (1.8) 21. How can you explain and support these views so they will be more convincing to readers of the publication? (2) 'EXPLAIN: 22. You need to tighten up your thinking as well as your expression. (3.1) 23. Good - you've defined the particular issues with which you do not agree and summarized the author's argument. (1.7) 24. Your paper might be clearer if you state, point by point, your opponent's view, as clearly and objectively as you can. Then you can deal with each of his arguments and show the weaknesses in his position. (1.4) 25. Not so. See above. [Next to the sentence "My only and most important argument to LeMoult is the physical harm it would bring by legalizing drugs."] (2.8) 26. What, then, of alcohol and tobacco? They are "legal." Would you make use of them criminal? (2.6) 'EXPLAIN: 27. I can tell you feel very strongly about the subject. (2.2) 28. Is this important to your argument? (2.2) 29. Take another look at LeMoult, and at the idea of "harm." Check to see why he puts forward his proposal. (2.1) 30. Comma splice. (2.2) 31. Try to refute his major points. (2.1) 32. I hear LeMoult saying something different - that drugs are so dangerous to society largely because laws make them illegal. (2.5) 33. Combine these sentences. (2) 34. Your second argument. Now develop this one. (2.5) 'EXPLAIN: 35. I find the statements that we all know drugs are wrong less than convincing. (2.4) 'EXPLAIN: 36. Be sure to put direct quotes in quotation marks. (1.6) 37. Do we? All drugs? [In response to the statement "We all know drugs are dangerous to the body and society without any explanation."] (2.5) 38. In the last paragraph, you say that "LeMoulf s points are good and true but I believe he is approaching the subject in the wrong manner." What of LeMoulf s points are "good and true"? How is he "approaching the subject"? Why is he approaching the problem "in the wrong manner"? (1.5) 'EXPLAIN: 39. Good. [Next to the sentence "For example, LeMoult himself says the amount of drug addicts is small compared to alcoholics."] (1.8) 40. In your next draft try to focus on developing more convincing arguments against legalized drugs. For instance, what can you do to show how drugs like marijuana and cocaine would be more dangerous if they were legal and therefore more available? (1.3) Note 1: The descriptor choices, 1-definitely prefer, 2-prefer, 3-do not prefer, 4definitely do not prefer, appear after each question in the survey questionnaire. They have been removed from this Appendix to conserve space. Note 2. The average score for each item is indicated in parentheses.