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Child + Te ache r + Pare nt = Quran Le sso ns Ho w t o be gin co nve rsat io n abo ut Islam ? Hajj; a jo urne y o f a lif e t im e J o ining no n-Muslim s in t he ir ce le brat io ns Have Yo u Be ne f it e d f ro m Yo ur T im e ?

The Missing Ingredients


Category: Da'wah Source: Publication Date: 22 Dhu al-Hijjah 1433 (11/7/12) Last Update: 3 Muharram 1434

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Make matters easy, and do not make them dif f icult; and give glad tidings and do not turn people away. [Bukhari]

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The Missing Ingredients: Compassion and Gentleness I was attending the Friday prayer at a certain mosque once. In the back corner, I noticed two teenage girls sitting side by side, whispering and giggling throughout most of the khutbah (sermon). It was slightly distracting, but nobody made a f uss about it, except one older woman who was eyeing them with anger the entire time. As soon as the prayer ended, she marched toward them and towered over their small bodies. YOU CANT TALK DURING THE KHUTBAH!!

T he Spirit ual and He alt h Be ne f it s o f Ram adan Fast ing

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she yelled at the top of her lungs. You could see the utter humiliation on these girls f aces, as they lowered their heads and peered at all the spectators observing this embarrassing scene. Af ter that womans verbal beating, I knew that immediate damage control was in order if these girls were to ever step f oot in the mosque again. It pains me to see how much aggressive behavior is unleashed on f ellow sisters and brothers, all in the name of correcting wrongs, or enjoining good and f orbidding evil. Islam is not a religion with a strict code of rules that needs to be imposed upon people. We f orget that we are dealing with dignif ied human beings, who have delicate souls, hearts, emotions, and f eelings. They are not inanimate objects on a f actory belt, where they can be thrown around, cleansed and polished so the perf ect halal (appropriate) end product pops out. Each person has a unique lif e story, and every story has its struggles and dif f iculties; some people might be converts, or are just starting to learn about their religion. Others might not have had parents who taught them Islam, or parents who imposed religious practices upon them until they f elt suf f ocated and constricted. There are also people who f eel lost and are searching f or guidance, and there are those who committed major sins and want to repent. All these people have one thing in common: they want to f eel love and acceptance. They dont want to be humiliated or looked down upon. They want to be dealt with patiently, and they want a secure, nourishing environment to grow in. They want to see warm, inviting smiles that draw them closer to God and to the Muslim community. They want kind words of encouragement and support that inspire them to f ollow the Prophetic way in their worships, speech and character. The Prophet (prayers and peace of Allah be upon him) never sugar-coated the truth or stopped calling to the way of Allah subhanahu wa

Various Scholars
To p 8 ways t o bo o st yo ur Ram adan spirit t his ye ar

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T he Fit rah o f Childre n: Signs and Pro o f s

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ta`ala (exalted is He). Yet, it was his sof t, gentle approach that made his message so palatable and soul-satisf ying. The Quran testif ies: {And by the Mercy of Allah, you dealt with them gently. And had you been severe and harshhearted, they would have broken away f rom about you; so pass over (their f aults), and ask (Allah's) Forgiveness f or them; and consult them in the af f airs} [Al-Imran 3:159] } 159 :{ Transliteration: Fabima rahmatin mina Allahi linta lahum walaw kunta f a ththan ghalee tha alqalbi la inf addoo min hawlika f a o AAf u AAanhum wa istaghf ir lahum washawirhum f ee alamri Look at the beautif ul advice of the Prophet : Make matters easy, and do not make them dif f icult; and give glad tidings and do not turn people away. [Bukhari] H e also made gentleness a beautif ying component of everything: Gentleness is not in something except that it adorns it, and it is not stripped f rom something except that it ruins it. [Muslim] . We give gif ts to people because we care about them; it is one of the ways we show love, gratitude or appreciation. We also choose gif ts that people enjoy or
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that would improve the quality of their lives. Can you imagine telling someone: Hey, I have a gif t f or you, and then throwing it in their f ace, leaving them bruised and not wanting anything to do with you or your gif t? Think about our da`wah (outreach) ef f orts and advice as gif ts. We want people to love Allah (swt) more and to develop an overwhelming desire in the heart to please Him so they can be successf ul in this lif e and the hereaf ter. If we want our gif ts to be received graciously - if we want people to pray on time, or to gain the f ull reward of the Friday prayer by listening quietly, or to cover more modestly, or to quit bad habits - we need to present these gif ts more gracef ully and adorn them with gentleness and a loving tone. If our goal is to please God, and not to f lex our knowledge muscles or put people down to boost our egos, it is crucial that we pay as much, if not more, attention to how we say our words as to what we say. There is another problem on the other side of the spectrum; some people have such a high regard f or peoples f eelings that they ref rain f rom giving advice completely. They themselves might be af raid of being rejected, causing conf lict, or not having adequate knowledge. They could also f eel that they are not in a place to start pointing out others f aults or mistakes because they themselves are sinf ul Muslims. Here, it is important to remember the Prophets words: Whoever sees something wrong, he should change it with his hand. If he cannot, then [he should speak against it] with his tongue. If he cannot, then [he should dislike it] in his heart, and that is the weakest of f aith. [Muslim] . . . The Quran also says that people are in a state of loss, except f or those who {Except those who believe (in Islamic Monotheism) and do righteous good
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deeds, and recommend one another to the truth (i.e. order one another to perf orm all kinds of good deeds (Al-Ma'ruf ) which Allah has ordained, and abstain f rom all kinds of sins and evil deeds (Al-Munkar) which Allah has f orbidden), and recommend one another to patience (f or the suf f erings, harms, and injuries which one may encounter in Allah's Cause during preaching His religion of Islamic Monotheism or Jihad, etc.).} [Al-Asr 103:3] } 3 :{ Transliteration: Illa allatheena amanoo waAAamiloo a lssalihati watawasaw bia lhaqqi watawasaw bi alssabr i Part of being one Ummah (community) is to care about our brothers and sisters relationship with our Creator, and to support them in their religious and spiritual growth. Also, the basics of the religion are known, so it does not require much knowledge to encourage good deeds.(1) Our beloved Prophet advised: Convey on my behalf , even if (just) one verse. [Bukhari] There is no denying that actively calling to Allahs way is dif f icult. People are generally insecure about their shortcomings, and they do not enjoy having a mirror put in f ront of them that highlights their blemishes. People might respond to our advice rudely or even harshly, making us f eel belittled or dismissed at times. That is a common theme, though, with people who devote their lives to the calling. Look at the stories of the prophets and messengers, and how they endured their peoples criticisms and rejection. They were mocked, ridiculed and physically attacked, but they never quit. The value of conveying the
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message outweighed the physical or emotional pains that any of them experienced individually. The key in advising people is to strike a balance. Encouraging Godconsciousness and piety is praiseworthy, but it must be adorned with tact, kindness and humility. People need to f eel that we care about them and are not just being judgmental or critical. For people to f eel that positive, loving energy, we need to be sincerely aiming to please God and wanting the best f or His servant worshippers. It is important to remember that guidance ultimately comes f rom God. If we plant the seeds in people gently, we never know if and when God will cause these seeds to sprout and eventually bear f ruit. The value remains, though, in planting the seeds irrespective of the results. If God utilizes us to bring people closer to His path, and we succeed in treating people with gentleness, mercy and compassion, our reward is secured with God, by His will.

Naiyerah Kolkailah -----[1] It should be noted that if there is a legitimate, legal dif f erence of opinion among scholars about a certain matter, we cannot rebuke others f or f ollowing an opinion dif f erent f rom our own.

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