So, you fell in love with a vampire. Congratulations!

Now, here are a few tips and some advice

on how to survive the first encounter.

You might be wondering, "How did I get here?" Truthfully, I’m wondering that too, but put that
aside for now and look in the mirror. Not at your eyes, examine your neck along the raised lines
on both sides that, if you press your fingers to them, will pulse under the pads of your fingertips.

No pulse? You’re dead so skip the next three paragraphs.

Pulse feels strong? Excellent! It's time to discuss how to keep it that way. One idea is persuading
your vampire lover to not suck or bite your neck. Alternatively, you might suggest he or she wear
tiny silver sheathes, or caps over their "canine" teeth. The silver might present a problem, but
you cannot be too safe these days.

Another alternative, is wearing some kind of protection. Safe sex is good sex. However, you will
need to wear a collar that is bite proof. Check with your veterinarian for something in leather.
Styles are varied and attractive. If your vampire is particularly aggressive, a bit long in the tooth,
you may want to go with a lightweight chain mail collar.

Again, silver comes to mind, but your vampire might object, pulling his or her head back and
hissing, while glaring in your direction. It is never a good idea to get your vampire too angry, so
let's skip silver and try something in stainless steel. The collar may feel heavy, but it will prove
advantageous when the going gets hot and it does make a nice fashion statement too.

Once you reach the point in the relationship when you are willing to touch your vampire, do not
be surprised at the complete lack of activity within his or her torso. Remember your vampire is
dead. His or her heart stopped beating a long time ago, and unless you are willing to donate
several pints of your own blood, he, or she will not warm up very much. Do not let this distract
you from the reason you are embracing your vampire. Love is blind after all.

The next issue we want to discuss is fingernails. Your vampire's nails will keep growing as will
his or her hair. Your vampire's nails, however, will, under moonlight glow a pale off-white. They
will look kind of like sun-bleached bone, an opal or an eggshell. Your vampire's nails will grow
quickly too, and on occasion you may find bits and pieces of flesh and blood under them. That is
to be expected. Your vampire must kill to continue existing, not to be confused with alive. Unless
you did not feel a pulse when we began this conversation, you are alive and if you are extremely
careful, you may stay that way for years to come.

Your vampire's temperature may present you with a problem difficult to overcome. You see,
since your vampire is dead, he or she will feel like a corpse. In fact, I have been told that a
vampire's body temperature is extremely low. This helps them remain stable during the long
hours of night when they can spend time outside their hideaway, i.e. coffin. Also, because they
are dead. Should you need time to recuperate after a long embrace, do not hesitate to explain to
your vampire that the difference in body temperatures requires you to take a breather.
If you are not bothered by your vampire's frigid touch, you may be dead too, so don’t worry
about the loss of sensation.
Finally, we come to the most important event in a relationship, physical consummation. All of us
know, or should if we are adults, exactly what I am implying. Therefore, details are not
necessary. If you want details, go online and give it a search. Start with the word sex.

Your vampire's take on consummation will be vastly different that yours will be. First off, your
vampire is dead, so the necessary body parts will not respond as if he or she were alive. Flaccid
comes to mind, frigidly flaccid is more accurate. And of course, since your vampire is dead, there
will be no fluids, i.e. lubrication, or, anything else. Be patient and be prepared -- think sex toys
--- and I think the first night together will be extremely memorable.

PS: if you have decided that the life of a vampire is the life for you, introduce the idea to your
vampire cautiously. He or she, depending on the state of their satiation, might become anxious
and drain you dry before recalling your request. Your vampire must not drain you completely, but
leave enough fluid in your body that when you bite into him or her in return you have the
strength for a successful strike.