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Written by a Pre-School Teacher It says it all!

! I was on a parenting bulletin board recently and read a post by a mother who was worried that her 4 1/ year old did not !now enough" #What should a 4 year old !now$% she as!ed" &ost o' the answers le't me not only saddened but pretty soundly annoyed" (ne mom posted a laundry list o' all o' the things her son !new" )ounting to 1**+ planets+ how to write his 'irst and last name+ and on and on" (thers chimed in with how much more their children already !new+ some who were only three" , 'ew posted -./0s to lists o' what each age should !now" The 'ewest yet said that each child de1elops at his own pace and not to worry" It bothered me greatly to see these mothers responding to a worried mom by adding to her concern+ with lists o' all the things their children could do that hers couldn0t" We are such a competiti1e culture that e1en our pre-schoolers ha1e become trophies and bragging rights" )hildhood shouldn0t be a race" So here+ I o''er my list o' what a 4 year old should !now" She should !now that she is lo1ed wholly and unconditionally+ all o' the time" 2e should !now that he is sa'e and he should !now how to !eep himsel' sa'e in public+ with others+ and in 1aried situations" 2e should !now that he can trust his instincts about people and that he ne1er has to do something that doesn0t 'eel right+ no matter who is as!ing" 2e should !now his personal rights and that his 'amily will bac! them up" She should !now how to laugh+ act silly+ be goo'y and use her imagination" She should !now that it is always o!ay to paint the s!y orange and gi1e cats 3 legs" 2e should !now his own interests and be encouraged to 'ollow them" I' he could care less about learning his numbers+ his parents should reali4e he0ll learn them accidentally soon enough and let him immerse himsel' instead in roc!et ships+ drawing+ dinosaurs or playing in the mud" She should !now that the world is magical and that so is she" She should !now that she0s wonder'ul+ brilliant+ creati1e+ compassionate and mar1ellous" She should !now that it0s 5ust as worthy to spend the day outside ma!ing daisy chains+ mud pies and 'airy houses as it is to practice phonics" Scratch that way more worthy" 6ut more important+ here0s what parents need to !now" That e1ery child learns to wal!+ tal!+ read and do algebra at his own pace and that it will ha1e no bearing on how well he wal!s+ tal!s+ reads or does algebra" That the single biggest predictor o' high academic achie1ement and

high ,)T scores is reading to children" 7ot 'lash cards+ not wor!boo!s+ not 'ancy preschools+ not blin!ing toys or computers+ but mom or dad ta!ing the time e1ery day or night 8or both!9 to sit and read them wonder'ul boo!s" That being the smartest or most accomplished !id in class has ne1er had any bearing on being the happiest" We are so caught up in trying to gi1e our children #ad1antages% that we0re gi1ing them li1es as multitas!ed and stress'ul as ours" (ne o' the biggest ad1antages we can gi1e our children is a simple+ care'ree childhood" That our children deser1e to be surrounded by boo!s+ nature+ art supplies and the 'reedom to e:plore them" &ost o' us could get rid o' ;*< o' our children0s toys and they wouldn0t be missed+ but some things are important building toys li!e lego and bloc!s+ creati1e toys li!e all types o' art materials 8good stu''9+ musical instruments 8real ones and multicultural ones9+ dress up clothes and boo!s+ boo!s+ boo!s" 8Incidentally+ much o' this can be pic!ed up =uite cheaply at thri't shops"9 They need to ha1e the 'reedom to e:plore with these things too to play with scoops o' dried beans in the high chair 8super1ised+ o' course9+ to !nead bread and ma!e messes+ to use paint and play dough and glitter at the !itchen table while we ma!e supper e1en though it gets e1erywhere+ to ha1e a spot in the yard where it0s absolutely 'ine to dig up all the grass and ma!e a mud pit" That our children need more o' us" We ha1e become so good at saying that we need to ta!e care o' oursel1es that some o' us ha1e used it as an e:cuse to ha1e the rest o' the world ta!e care o' our !ids" >es+ we all need undisturbed baths+ time with 'riends+ sanity brea!s and an occasional li'e outside o' parenthood" 6ut we li1e in a time when parenting maga4ines recommend trying to commit to 1* minutes a day with each child and scheduling one Saturday a month as 'amily day" That0s not o!ay! (ur children don0t need 7intendos+ computers+ a'ter school acti1ities+ ballet lessons+ play groups and soccer practice nearly as much as they need -S" They need 'athers who sit and listen to their days+ mothers who 5oin in and ma!e cra'ts with them+ parents who ta!e the time to read them stories and act li!e idiots with them" They need us to ta!e wal!s with them and not mind the "1 &P2 pace o' a toddler on a spring night" They deser1e to help us ma!e supper e1en though it ta!es twice as long and ma!es it twice as much wor!" They deser1e to !now that they0re a priority 'or us and that we truly lo1e to be with them"

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