Burns 1 Danny Burns ENGL 1101 Ms.

Hinnant September 10, 2013 Working on Literacy Forcing myself out of bed every morning at the crack of dawn, five days a week, the same thought went through my head every day. There is no way I want to do this for the rest of my life. My parents own a construction company, and Ive worked every summer and winter break for the past two years. I spent most of my days pouring concrete; so between the curing of concrete and the hot summer sun, the heat was unbearable and the chill of winter was just as bad. Although work was full of pain and misery, I never thought it would make such a large impact on my life. Work gave me a new motivation for school; it made me realize that if I didn't take school seriously then I would be working construction for the rest of my life. I never noticed until I stopped to think about it, but my job is a major social force that impacted the way I read, write, and even speak. Ever since I was in elementary school, I have never read a lot outside of the classroom. I had only been exposed to the types of text that my teachers had assigned, but work introduced me to two new styles of reading that I was previously not familiar with. Most people probably dont think that there is a lot of reading that goes along with a construction job; and ten to twenty years ago they would be right. Now a day safety is such a big part of everyday operations, each job requires employees to read safety regulations once or even twice a week. These safety regulations are not just a short checklist of what to do or not to do, they are very lengthy detailed processes of how to safely do something, either as simple as walk the job or as complex as
Comment [B3]: And what types of texts were these? How did you feel about them? Comment [B2]: Nice intro. Comment [B1]: I think you can come up with something more creative than this!

Burns 2 operating a massive machine. Anytime these regulations are changed, a new copy is issued and each employee must read through the entire packet again. These safety packets are written very formally and to the point, and before working I was very unfamiliar to that style of writing, because teachers never assigned those kinds of readings. After being exposed to this formal type of writing, and reading it multiple times a week, work has helped me grow as a reader. Work helped me improve my reading skills by making me more familiar with formal text, but it also taught me an entirely new, very unique, type of reading. Although this style of reading might only be helpful in the construction industry, it is a useful skill to have. When I started working, I had little work experience, and didnt know a lot about construction at all. Since my first day on the job almost two years ago, I have come a long way and learned a lot about the industry. On a construction job, every company needs to work in sync, for instants if a company was doing work on top of the concrete we were pouring, they needed to trust it was on the spot it needed to be. The way this is made possible is through scaled drawings. Every company has a set of drawings made by the engineer, so everyones work fits together to build the structure. Scale drawings are hard to interpret, and to a normal person might look like a bunch of lines on a paper. Work has taught me to be able to interpret scale drawings into the structure they represent. Now when I walk onto a job, I can look at the drawings and map out the work that needs to be done for the day. Work has made me more familiar with a reading formal writing, and introduced me to an entirely new form of text, to shape me into the reader I am today. I have never seen myself as a strong writer, and it has only discouraged me as a student. I have been so stubborn about it in the past, and not received help because I grew to dislike it. My stubborn personality had left me rendered, because all the time I ignored help I have just fallen
Comment [B7]: I like your use of detail and example in this paragraph, but Id like to know more about how this kind of reading transferred to reading outside of work. Are you able to read other texts more proficiently as well. Make sure theres a strong connection between point A and point B. Comment [B6]: Instance. Comment [B5]: Im not sure what skill youre talking about. Comment [B4]: Why do you think they never assigned these types of readings?

Burns 3 behind. Last year when I attended East Carolina University, I took English 1100 but got a D in the class. The English credit did not transfer, so I felt like I failed the class. Working construction made me realize that I need to put more focus on my school work. In the construction industry I rarely came across a part time worker out on the job, almost everyone I worked with worked full time, year around. Most of my co-workers did not go to college, and were not in school. They would always tell me to learn from their mistakes and to value my education by staying in school. One guy I worked with in particular, Mr. Buff, whenever we were doing something hard, would look at me and say Think about this next time youre about to skip a class, or not study for a test and remember you do not want to come back and do this for the rest of your life. All the advice I got suddenly turned into a new reality for me, I needed to take school more seriously. During every English class I have taken, I have never tried any of the writing techniques my teachers have taught and I have followed the same method I always do. My new focus on school has led me to try and improve as a writer, instead of trying to scrape by. After this summer I know that writing is definitely something I need to focus in on as a student. This semester I look forward to practicing and becoming a stronger writer, and I am glad work gave me the motivation school never has to improve my writing. Working in the construction industry, I had to learn to change the way I speak. The way I speak at work, is not the same way I do at home or with my friends. Before working concrete construction, I had never had a real job before so I didnt know how to talk in a professional manner. In a work environment I had to adapt the way I speak to my fellow workers, superiors, and other people on the job. Work taught me how to speak in a way I was previously not familiar with. I learned that I need to speak to my co-workers differently than I talk to my superiors. Although my parents did own the company I worked for, most of the people I worked under did
Comment [B10]: How DO you speak to them? Comment [B9]: Why writing in particular? Comment [B8]: Which is what? Explain it to me.

Burns 4 not treat me any different than a regular worker, and expected my respect just as they did from everyone else. This is a useful skill, because in my future jobs I know how my superiors are going to expect me to talk to them. Work taught me how to speak to different audiences, but more importantly it improved my ability to speak in a second language. Most of the people I work with are Hispanic men, who do not speak English very well. When I first started working, I barely knew what was being said around me or even to me. In the past two years my Spanish vocabulary has increased more from work than my high school Spanish classes ever taught me. Although I cannot speak fluent Spanish by any means, I can now understand most of the conversations that my co-workers have either with me or around me, and can respond (to some extent) to them. This is a very important skill to have, and will be useful during my next years working for my parents, and for the rest of my life. Construction has always been a dreadful experience for me and I never thought it would impact my life the way it did. Accepting my job was one of the most important decisions of my life, I have no idea where I would be today if I never endured the plight of a hardworking man. Work has inspired me to focus on school more, it has made me familiar with two styles of reading, and it has taught speaking skills that will be useful for the rest of my life. Work is no longer just a source of money to me; it has become a major social force that has changed me for the rest of my life.
Comment [B13]: Overall I think this is a strong conclusion, though it gets a bit repetitive. Comment [B12]: Why will it be useful? Dont assume your reader knows where youre going with this, though I think I do. Comment [B11]: What is your ultimate career goal? Would you speak to your superiors there the same way as you would in construction?

Burns 5 Daniel, I think this is a strong working draft. The narrative itself is well written, and I can tell that you really spent some time considering how your work in construction has affected your reading, writing, and verbal communication. I do, however, feel like it still needs some work in terms of development and expansion. There were several spots throughout where I found myself wondering what connection you were trying to make, or how you backed up your arguments with concrete evidence/examples. The majority of these places are marked with my questions and comments in the margins, and in revision I encourage you to push even harder in terms of critical thinking. I know you can do it!