1NonverbalCommunication

UnderstandingEffectiveNonverbalCommunication

SubmittedbyKayleighWood SaltLakeCommunityCollege Communications1010061 December16th,2013

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Overview Communicationisoftenreferredtoasinevitable,althoughnonverbalcommunicationiseven moreso.Innearlyeverycommunicationsituationonewillsendandreceivenonverbalcues.Inmany cases,nonverbalbehaviorexpressesattitudesandcansendverypowerfulmessages.Theimportanceof understandingnonverbalcommunicationisessentialtopropercommunicationsuccess.Althoughthe averagepersonisoftenawareofnonverbalcommunication,he/shemayhavedifficultydecodingthe messagebeingsentorreceived.Inmyownexperience,Ihaveoftenfoundmyselfdispleasedwitha communicationencounterduetotheuseofnonverbalbehavior.IfIcanbetterunderstandthenonverbal cuesIamsending,Icanimprovemyoverallcommunicationexperiences.Byunderstandingand improvingmyownnonverbalbehavior,Iwillhaveanincreasedabilitytodecodeandrespondtoothers nonverbalcues. DescriptionofProblem Therearetimeswecommunicatewithoneanother,onlytofeeldissatisfiedwiththeresult.In somecasesitisduetononverbalcuesofthesenderorreceiver.WhenIconsidercommunication situationswheremynonverbalbehaviorhadanimpactoneffectivecommunication,acertain circumstancecomestomind.Justrecently,myroommatesandIinvitedsomefriendsoverfordinner andamovie.Shortlyafterdinner,Ibegannotfeelingwell.Ihadaheadacheandanupsetstomach,soI relaxedonthecouchuntilourfriendswerereadytostartthemovie.Asthemoviestarted,everyones attentionstrayedfromthemovieandtheyengagedinconversation.Ihadseenthemoviemanytimes andwasnotbotheredbymyfriendsdisinterestinthemovie.SinceIwasnotfeelingwell,Ididntfeel liketalkingwiththegroup.Istartedplayingagameonmyphone,justrelaxingandtryingtofeelbetter. MyfriendDakotathoughtIwasupsetthateveryonewastalkingoverthemoviesoshesatnexttome

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andapologized.IexplainedtoherthatIhadseenthemoviemanytimesandwasnotupsetbythe talking,althoughIneglectedtomentionIwasnotfeelingwell.Shortlyafterourconversation,Inoticed Dakotaseemedupset.AsIbegantoconsidermybehavior,Icouldcertainlyunderstandwhy.Oncethe talkingstarted,Iimmediatelypickedupmyphoneandbeganplayingagame.Frommyperspective,it wasmerelyawaytoentertainmyselfsinceIdidntparticularlyfeelliketalking.FromDakotas viewpointmynonverbalcuesmayhaveshoweddisinterestinmyfriendsorannoyance.Inthis circumstance,mynonverbalcommunicationwaspowerfulenoughtoencourageDakotatoapologizeto me.Oncesheapologized,mycuesmayhavecommunicatedrudeness.Asexplainedin CommunicatingatWork,...whennonverbalbehaviorseemstocontradictaverbalmessage,the spokenwordscarrylessweightthanthenonverbalcues(Alder&Elmhorst,p.91).Myexperience withDakotastronglyfollowsthisidea.MyverbalbehaviorexplainedthatIwasnotbotheredby everybodytalking,butmynonverbalbehaviorconveyedotherwise.Iwasunabletotalktoheraboutthe situationbecauseshehadtoleaveshortlyafter.Idonotfeelthatthissituationhadaneffectonour friendship,althoughIdorealizemycommunicationwasveryineffective.Byconsideringpossible solutionstothisproblem,Iplantoavoidasimilarsituationinthefuture. ResourcesandConstraints ToobtainaneffectivesolutionforthisproblemIhavechosentoutilizecertainresources.Iplan toreferenceCommunicatingatWorkbyAlderandElmhorst(2013)forinformationsuchas characteristicsofnonverbalcommunication,typesofnonverbalcommunication,andimproving nonverbaleffectiveness.(Alder&Elmhorst,p.77)CommunicatingatWorkwillaidmeinresolving theproblemsuccessfullybyprovidingconceptsforimprovinginformationcommunication.The immediacyconceptprovidedwillbebeneficialinimprovingmynonverbalcommunicationwhenhigh

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immediacyisused.Immediacyexplainsverbalandnonverbalbehaviorswhichdemonstratethe proximityofarelationship.Nonverbally,thesebehaviorsincludetheamountofdirecteyecontact, forwardlean,posture,facialexpression,andvocalqualities.(Alder&Elmhorst,p.101)Forexample,a personwithlowimmediacywouldbelikelytomakeeyecontactonlyforshortperiodsoftime,ornotat all.Byglancingawayfromthepersoncommunicatingwithhim/her,theindividualwithlowimmediacy couldcausetheotherpersontofeelignoredorunimportant.Notsmilingandhavingastiffenedposture maybetranslatedasdiscomfortordisinterest.Acombinationofthequalitiesmentionedarelikelyto createfeelingsofdiscomfortformanypeople.Practicinghighimmediacynonverballywillcreatea comfortablecommunicationenvironmentforboththesenderandthereceiver.Highimmediacyincludes eyecontact,standingatanappropriatecloseness,havingarelaxedposture,andpositivefacial expressions.ForinstanceifIhadsatuptotalktoDakota,myhighimmediacywouldhavehelpedher feelmorecomfortable.Havinghighimmediacyisoftenassociatedwithbeingcooperativeandeasily likable.Byusingnonverbalcuesrelatedtohighimmediacy,communicationbecomeslesshostileand morecomfortable.Constraintsrelatedtosolvingtheissuearemostlytimerelated.Sincethesituation happenedafewmonthsago,thislimitspossiblereactionstotheproblem.Icouldchoosetotalktoher aboutthesituationandreachanunderstanding.Sincethetimeperiodissogreatandtheeventdidnot haveanoticeableeffectonourfriendship,itmayseemunimportantatthistime.Icouldalsochooseto findasolutionthatwouldimprovemynonverbalcommunicationinthefuture.Implementinghigh immediacyintomynonverbalcommunicationskillswouldbenefitmeinmanyways.Professionally,it wouldcreateamorepositiverelationshipbetweenmeandmycoworkersorsuperiors.Personally,I couldavoidunintendeddiscomfortwithfriendsandfamily.ToachieveimprovementIcouldmonitorand improvemynonverbalbehaviortodemonstrateinterestinothersthroughhighimmediacy.(Alder&

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Elmhorst,p.101) Recommendations Itisimportanttoselfmonitorourselvesduringcommunicationwithothers.Wemaybesending nonverbalmessagesthatmayreflectnegativelywithoutnoticing.(Alder&Elmhorst,p.101)Inmy situationwithDakotaifIwasmoreawareofthenonverbalcuesIwassending,theconversationcould havebeenmorerewarding.EventhewayIwassittingmayhaveshowndisinteresttoher.Insteadof continuingtoloungeonthecouch,IcouldhavesatupwhenDakotasatnexttome.Inthissituation,my lessimmediatebehaviorsuggesteddisregardforherapology.(Alder&Elmhorst,p.101)Forinstanceif IhadsatuptotalktoherandsimplyexplainedIwasnotfeelingwell,thehighimmediacywouldhave madeDakotafeelmorerelaxed.Byanalyzingthissituation,Iwillbeabletoapplypositivenonverbal communicationinthefuture.Toachievethis,Iplantoimplementselfmonitoring.(Alder&Elmhorst,p. 101)BybeingawareofmybehaviorIcanimplementeffectivenonverbalcommunication.Forexample, beforeenteringajobinterviewIcouldchallengemyselftobemoreaware.Noticingmyposture,hand movements,andeyecontactwillensureamorepositiveoutcomeformyselfandtheinterviewer. Althoughselfmonitoringcanbeveryeffective,toomuchcouldbedetrimental.Excessivelyanalyzingmy nonverbalbehaviorcouldcausemetobeoverlyselfconscious.(AlderandElmhorst,p.101)Toavoid thisproblemIwillchoosetoselfmonitorbeforeanyimportantoccasionssuchasapresentationor interview.IwillalsochoosetoselfmonitorbeforeandafteranycommunicationconditionsinwhichI feelmynonverbalbehaviorcouldcreateunintendeddiscomfort.Bychoosingwhenselfmonitoringis essentialIcanavoidoveranalyzingandbecomingtooselfconscious.ThroughselfmonitoringIwill becomeawareofnonverbalcuesIamsending.OnceIhavediscoveredaccidentalnonverbalbehaviors, Icanimplementhighimmediacytoimprovecommunication.Havinghighimmediacywillestablish

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interestwiththoseIcommunicatewith.(Alder&Elmhorst,p101)Obtainingappropriateproximity, directeyecontact,andpositivefacialexpressionswillindicatesincerecommitmenttotheperson.For example,whenapologizingtosomeoneofsignificanceitisbesttostandclosetothem,makeeye contact,andhaveawelcomingvoice.Thesenonverbalbehaviorssuggestsinceritytothereceiver.By usingselfmonitoringandhighimmediacytoimprovemynonverbalbehavior,Iwillbeableto communicatemoreeffectively.Understandingwhatmynonverbalcuessuggestwillaidmeinimproving mynonverbalbehavior.Toensuresuccess,Iplantoevaluatemynonverbalbehaviormoreoften.By beingmoreaware,Iwillbeabletoconductmynonverbalbehaviorinawaythatisbeneficialtomeand allinvolved. Summary Nonverbalcommunicationisalwayspresentandweoftendonotnoticetheimpactithasonthe resultingproductofourcommunication.InmycircumstancewithDakota,Ididnotrealizetheeffectof mynonverbalbehavioruntilshehadbecomeupset.Iwasunawarethatmynonverbalcueswouldbe interpretedasannoyanceordisinterestinmyfriend.Toavoidsimilarproblemsinthefuture, selfmonitoringandhavinghighimmediacywillensuresuccess.Throughselfmonitoring,Iwillbemore awareofthemessagesIamsending.Havinghighimmediacywillhelpmepresentmyselfinawaythat reflectsmyintentions.Thisproposalhelpedmeunderstandnonverbalcues,thepowertheyhold,and havingmoreselfawareness.Idiscoveredtheimportanceofnoticingandimprovingmynonverbal communication.Bydoingso,Icanimprovemynonverbalcommunicationtohelpothershaveamore rewardingexperiencewhencommunicatingwithme.Iexpecttoseemanyimprovementsinmy nonverbalbehaviorbyimplementingthisplan.

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WorksCited Alder,R.&Elmhorst,J.(2013).CommunicatingatWork:SLCCcustomtext(2nded).Boston: McGrawHill.