Rylee Knips Intercultural Communications

Martha Lony
Imagine youre staring at a mirror. You see yourself clearly. You blink and inch closer. You reach out your hand to touch the image that looks like your right cheek, and your hand slips right through the glass. You extend your arm farther until your entire body is travelling through its own reflection, and soon you are the image. You look around at the room and see everything that youve always known, everything you have always been, and you see it now from a similar, yet different point of view. This is what happens when you take the effort to push through the seemingly sturdy barrier and look at life through someone elses eyes. The world has been called a beautiful place, and it has been called ugly. And as a whole, the idea of the people of South Sudan living in refugee camps in Kenya can be upsetting and unsettling, when one takes a closer look at a single family, and the life of a single person, one can see how charming and rewarding life can truly be. Stephen Lony and Sarah Tut lived at one of these Kenyan refugee camps. They were in love with each other, and soon with their beautiful daughter Nyajuok. Knowing that a refugee camp was not the ideal home to start a family, they jumped at the opportunity to move to Des Moines, Iowa in the United States when it was offered to them and a few other South Sudanese refugees in 1994. This new environment came with a new addition to the family. Martha Lony was born on August 7th, 1995. Later came three boys and two more girls. Large families are normal for the South Sudanese. Sickness used to take many children from their parents, so mothers and fathers would have larger families. The practice stuck not only for habitual reasons, but because the parents had learned that love is powerful. The more love you give, the more love you receive; the more children you have, the more love you give. This love was especially strong during Christmas. The Lutheran family was very religious. It was very important for all of the kids to be baptized, and attend church. During the Christmas season, the family would spend most of their time at the church. Sometimes, they would spend the entire night there watching a reenactment of Jesus birth and the events following. Growing up, Martha was immersed in an understanding of respect, especially for her elders. Although she spoke English at school, she would speak Nuer at home. She was not allowed to argue with her parents or her siblings because that would teach the younger siblings to act disrespectfully. Even the other elders in the Des Moines community were highly respected because they were wiser due to their age and experiences. This respect and the common values shared by the South Sudanese people caused them to stick together. After their journey from Africa, most settled in Des Moines, Iowa, so they attended the same school. In preschool, Martha would travel to school with other children in a herd managed by one of their fathers. The dads took turns walking these kids to school everyday, another sign of a close-knit family among neighbors. At preschool, Martha met Rachel, another South Sudanese girl,

and they became inseparable. This magnetic draw between the girls continued on into elementary school. One day, Martha was getting ready for her day at Willard Elementary School, and her father said, Dont worry, you dont need to get ready for school. We are moving. A surprise for Martha, and for Rachel, they promised to stay in touch then she headed off to Albert Lea, Minnesota to finish the third grade at Sibley Elementary. Just like escaping the danger of the refugee camps, the Lony family escaped the danger of gang life. And like the community in Des Moines, they joined a small but growing community of South Sudanese in Albert Lea. In middle school, Martha attended Southwest Middle School for seventh and eighth grade. This was the beginning of the best years of her life. Martha joined basketball and was involved in many after school activities from crafts to miniature field trips like going out for dinner. All of this and she still managed to receive high marks that got her placement on the schools honor roll. She was even one of the six lucky students to be chosen to attend Elks Camp. At Elks Camp, Martha stayed in a cabin, fished, went swimming, kayaking, and did other outdoor activities that taught her collaboration and leadership (she already understood respect). She brought these attributes with her to Albert Lea High School. Here, she got good grades and excelled especially at Spanish. Being bilingual, it was easier for her to learn a new language. She continued to play basketball until her sophomore year when she quit to begin her job working at McDonalds. It was the only place that would hire a fifteen-year-old. When Martha turned seventeen, she quit McDonalds and began working at Wal-Mart. If she were not at work, she would be busy babysitting at home or volunteering at the Parks and Recreation Center since all of her family had taught her how to work well with kids. Her work extended to include hours inside the school day. Martha helped organize schedules and answered phones for the schools office. Still, signs of leadership and maturity were even greater when she joined Service Club Representative where she went, twice a month, to the American Legion to talk about the events going on at Albert Lea High School to the senior citizens and other adults. This kept the community in the know about what classes were like, how they might be implementing technology into the curriculum, and what accomplishments sports teams were achieving. This not only reinforced the understanding of innate respect for ones elders, but it helped Martha become a great public speaker. Even though her life had filled with numerous characterbuilding activities, Martha still made time for her chats with Rachel. They stayed in touch, like they promised, and soon it was time for both of them to head to college. Martha originally planned on attending the University of Minnesota in the twin cities, but after being waitlisted she decided to apply to Duluth. She was accepted right away and decided to attend. She could always transfer to the Twin Cities campus. So far at college, Marthas favorite class has been Intercultural Communications. After this class, it was easy to see that respect of her elders balanced with respect of her peers and respect for other cultures. Martha also enjoys exercise. Yoga is a favorite hobby of hers. Martha also makes an effort to meet knew people even though she is shy. She knows that once you get to know someone, it is very rare to find someone that you dislike. Also, meeting new people

can open up new horizons to be explored. Martha loves to try new things, and meeting new people is a great gateway into new activities. Martha is kind, and friendly, and smart, and respectful, but she is ambitious above everything else. For the future, Martha has great plans. She wants to graduate college with a business degree, although she is unsure of which field to venture into at this moment, and then travel the world. She would love to go to South Sudan, which gained its independence three years ago, to visit her family. Her parents plan to move back to South Sudan after their children graduate in order to be closer to their family, and since Stephen Lony had received his degree in the United States, it will be easy for him to find a job. Her parents would love for Martha to settle down in South Sudan with them. Martha, however, plans to keep in touch with her family (just like she has will Rachel), and will probably stay in the United States since it is home to her. Home is comfortable, and culture is comfortable. We are drawn to what we know. This is why the South Sudanese created their own communities in Des Moines and Albert Lea. This is why we sit and stare at ourselves in the mirror every morning. We like the face we see because it is familiar. We can look beyond our bodies and view the area around us, also familiar, but if we take the time to look past the images of ourselves, and our environment, and view our lives, we will see that even though we appear the same, we are constantly changing. We are constantly molded by our society. Change is inevitable, but it is also controllable. We can choose to sit and stare at the safety of familiarity, or we can take that step and travel through the mirror to a new realm of exploration. Travelling through the glass will only expedite the process of change, and coming back through the glass, you may realize that you have changed for the better.