Starting to Talk

Direct vs. Indirect Communication

Direct VS Indirect

Communication

Culture and context

Someday, three people are from Germany, America and Japan. They all ordered a hamburger but the cook meat paste.

The German just said that the meat paste and criticized the chef.

The American said that the meat paste, but bread, vegetables and cream taste good.
The Japanese said that the bread, vegetables and cream taste is very nice.

(Japanese no mention of burnt meat. That is to say, as for the taste of meat and you think by yourself.)

Westerners (direct) use words to make sure everyone knows whats going on. - Say what they mean and mean what they say. Handle problems by giving complete information (talking it out) Chinese may feel that this way is too direct.

Chinese (indirect) want to be sensitive to the persons feelings, so might not say what they are thinking directly. Ex: We must give it more thought.

How to be indirect:

Soften your statements:

maybe perhaps if should this shows your interest in the other person and their interests or needs

Express yourself in a positive way:

Give an unclear commitment to do something Refer to the topic indirectly

Direct Speech- - - - - - - - - - - - Indirect Speech - - - - - USA- - - - - - - China- - - - - - - -Asia- - - - -

DIRECT COMMUNICATION

INDIRECT COMMUNICATION

CLEAR INFORMATION CERTAINTY

FACE SAVING

WILL YOU COME OR NOT?

DEFINED AS TRANSPARENCY, AUTHENTICITY SAY WHAT YOU MEAN

AVOID EMBARRASSMENT PROTECT DIGNITY AVOID CONFLICT MAINTAIN RELATIONSHIPS DEFINED AS POLITENESS

SOCIAL HARMONY

SINCERITY

SINCERITY

Individualism vs. Social Harmony

FULL INFORMATION POSITIVE INFORMATION Say good & bad directly Say good directly

Westerners tend to assume that EVERYONE in the world is EQUALLY committed to directness. When they encounter INDIRECTNESS they may feel that they are being lied to.

Westerners tend to assume that EVERYONE in the world is EQUALLY committed to directness. When they encounter INDIRECTNESS they may feel thatHOWEVER, they are being lied to. EVEN WESTERNERS

this gift is so thoughtful!

How do you answer these questions?

Does this dress look good on me? Does this dress make me look fat?

Human feelings or dignity (worldwide)

Very important in China

Personal face Group face

In West, dignity of individual most important -- Often criticize leaders as individuals.

In China, dignity of

group most important

MIAN

LIAN

Social status

Moral character

From Wikipedia

Mian

From Wikipedia

"the social front, the display of one's social standing to the public. It is both a responsibility to be concerned about." Mianzi is a measurable concept of "face". Mianzi can be increased or decreased through what we do: You can add to it by getting a high ranking job, by gaining wealth, success, or by building high social relationships. It can be decreased by making embarrassing mistakes in public or by failure at an assigned task

Lian

Moral character Meiyo lian (lit. "without face") is "the most severe condemnation that can be made of a person" and buyao lian (lit. "don't want face") "shameless; selfishly inconsiderate" is "a serious accusation meaning that somebody does not care what society thinks of his character, that he is ready to obtain benefits for himself in defiance of moral standards."

MIAN

LIAN

Social status
mianzi represents social perceptions of a person's prestige loss of mianzi is failure to measure up to one's sense of self-esteem or to what is expected by others

Moral character
Lian is the confidence of society in a person's moral character loss of lian is closely tied to breaking social codes

moral authority
Adapted From Wikipedia

Reputation

Personal Face Saving

Protect someone from loss of status Cover up an embarrassing mistake Cover up a moral weakness Avoid disappointing family or friends

Laughter in the Westusually because something is funny Laughter in other cultures

sometimes embarrassment Sometimes to avoid embarrassment

Westerners openly criticize their group

Group Face Saving

Work to win
Personal sacrifice

Support group members Dont embarrass the group Dont allow personal problems to affect the group

Its not important

Westerners openly criticize their country Westerners may joke about political leaders

Chinese dont
Previous Canadian Prime Minister

In West,
sincerity = Saying the right thing is enough(apologizing).

-Apologizing for even small things is important

In China,
sincerity= Saying & doing is a must! Words are not enough (ex: apology) -Apologizing for small things is NOT important

a Japanese worker had to take a day off to take her child to the dentist. One way of handling this situation is

Manager: What did you need to talk to me about? Employee: I'm not going to be here on Monday. I have a family obligation.
But in Japan this directness is rude. How could she do this less directly?

Dealing With Conflict

Lets talk about it.

Lets not talk about it

WHAT HAPPENED

WHAT COULD HAPPEN?

Linda

Jiang Yumei

WHAT HAPPENED

WHAT COULD HAPPEN?

Linda

Linda

Liu Qian

Jiang Yumei

Jiang Yumei