The Me in Sex & Violence

Quotes from: Transforming A Rape Culture by Buchwald, Fletcher and Roth.

Pg 162

In order to significantly decrease violence, including rape, we must begin to protect boys from violent entertainment and to teach them from the youngest age, to view themselves as nurturing, non violent responsible fathers.

Positive Solutions From Todays College Youth

When your boy wants to watch violent or graphic forms of entertainment you should replace such entertainment with more family time, or a parental control for the TV.

Positive Solutions From Todays College Youth

When your girl becomes uncomfortable in her own skin then you should give them words of encouragement.

Pg 223

Teach girls to be independent entities. A girl should be raised to feel that she is a valuable person who will be taken seriously.

Pg 162

We must begin to protect boys from violent entertainment and to teach them, from the youngest age, to view themselves as future nurturing, nonviolent, responsible fathers.

Positive Solutions From Todays College Youth

When your child is maturing limit the amount of violent stimulus available because it can show a bad example to follow.

REALITY

Ignorance is not and never should have been considered a virtue. To keep a girl ignorant of the way her body functions sexually is detrimental. Early and thorough education for girls and boys about their sexuality is a basic need that has not been met by most school curriculums.

Positive Solutions From Todays College Youth

When your child becomes curious about sex dont ignore them, it is important to educate them instead of sheltering them.

Pg 168

Boys raised with nurturing involved fathers develop a primary male identity. They identify with and model themselves on their fathers from the youngest age. They do not need to prove that they are real men by rejecting everything considered feminine, by being tough and violent.

Positive Solutions From Todays College Youth

When your body is growing up it is important to have a stable male figure to look up to.

Even before birth, the preconceptions of the parents seal a childs gender fate, and the moment after birth the infant is swaddled in gender definition.

Positive Solutions From Todays College Youth

When your child tests gender roles, dont be afraid to allow them to explore and express themselves.

Pg 168

the greater tendency toward violence on the part of fatherless boys is exacerbated by our culture of violence.

Boys raised with nurturing involved fathers develop a primary male identity.

Positive Solutions From Todays College Youth

When your boy is showing signs of anger or violence, introduce a positive male role model into their lives.

tell girls the truth; replace sexual ignorance with sexual knowledge. Protecting girls means giving them the knowledge that will allow them to make intelligent principled decisions about sexuality.

Positive Solutions From Todays College Youth

When your girl is starting to go out on her own educate her on the dangers of sexual abuse and teach her to make smart decisions to protect herself.

Pg 164

Not only do these films desensitize, they also serve as detailed, gruesome blueprints for violence

Positive Solutions From Todays College Youth

When your child watches violent films, explain to them that it is not reality.

Pg 165

Some heavy metal and rap lyrics encourage young boys to connect sex with dominance, violence and rape.

Positive Solutions From Todays College Youth

When your child listens to violent or derogatory music, they should not let them listen to it or tell them its wrong if they try.

Pg 165

In sports, fistfights, dirt throwing, and verbal insults are common among professional and even college athletes. Much of this behavior appears on TV is viewed by young boysIn a study of athletes at National Collegiate Athletic Association Schoolsfound that between 1991 and 1993 male athletes who represented 3% of the student body were responsible for almost 20% of all sexual assaults.

Positive Solutions From Todays College Youth

When your boy is aggressive during sports, teach them to leave the aggression on the field and not bring it into personal life.

Pg 223

The most important gift anyone can give a girl is to instill in her a belief in her own power as an individual, her value without reference to gender, her self-respect as a person with potential.

When your girl is growing up, teach her to be independent and valuable.

Pg 166

The development of the internet has made violent and child pornography easily available to young boys.

Positive Solutions From Todays College Youth

When your boy is on the internet, teach him that violence and pornography is wrong, and teach him to brose the internet safely.

Pg 219 ?

The connection made when we recognized the truth of the phrase the personal is political. Women sharing their experience of sexual violence and harassment with other women in the seventies and eighties broke the silence of centuries. Their stories allowed air and light into the darkness of womens sexual ignorance and sexual abuse.

Positive Solutions From Todays College Youth

When your girl grows up, parents should talk to her about violence and sexual harassment that is in society so she is aware and can make cultural changes in the future.

Pg 168

Cross cultural anthropological studies indicate that violent behavior is often characteristic of males in cultures where fathers are absent or play a minor role in their sons early rearing.

Positive Solutions From Todays College Youth

When your boyshows hyper-mascultinity, be sure they have a proper male role model to follow. Someone who embodies nurturing characteristics yet.

Pg 162

In order to significantly decrease violence, including rape, we must begin to protect boys from violent entertainment and to teach them, from the youngest age, to view themselves as future nurturing, nonviolent, responsible fathers.

Positive Solutions From Todays College Youth

When your childstarts to act violently , pull the plug on violent activities, and engage in a different activity that will open a more nurturing creative side.

Pg 224

when our daughters were young and fascinated by the process, they wanted to shave like their dad; he gave them a play razor and lathered them up and no, that didnt make them want to grow up to be men.

Positive Solutions From Todays College Youth

When your childwants to play with opposite gender toys allow them to, or engage in gender opposite activities. Embrace and encourage them. It will create a more confident, rounded person.

Pg 224

Busy and tired as he was, my father found time to have long conversations with me, to walk with me in the evening and tell me stories, to explain his taste in music and literature.

Positive Solutions From Todays College Youth

When your childseeks your attention (or doesnt) make a point to be actively engaged. Listen to their thoughts and concerns, or solicit their thoughts and concerns.

READ MORE HISTORY TO CHANGE THE FUTURE!

THE RIGHT MATERIAL CHANGES LIVES.

Reading WORDS is suppose to be a mind slowing process (contemplation) which creates a reality and organizes information.

Benefit: It slowly creates filters for passions, and stimulates new ideas as images becomes enmeshed in the psyche.

Filters enhances dreams and saves lives.

BUBE TUBE TECHNOLOGY GENERATION

Watching programs sets personal and house-hold values

What are you watching?

VALUES = PASSIONATE HEART (where excitable action takes places)

SERIOUSLY?
If being human, was as simply as a thought

we would need filters to understand respect

IF

you wait until theres a fire in every room to finally yell: I have a problem, its too late to save the building and the people in it.

LIKEWISE if you wait until theres a recurring negative habit (leaves

you feeling lost and disrespected) in your relationship, before asking YOURSELF is this right? it often means youve already noticed something that may be two steps away from unmanageable disaster