LifeasaSoldierintheCivilWar By:KylePannone

PrologueAcknowledgement

Mattwasasregularasregularcouldbe.Hewas19yearsoldandledasimplelife.Untilthe
War,thatis.Thewarwhenhefoughtforwhathereallybelievedin,deepdowninside.ButImgetting aheadofmyself.Letsgobackto1859,oneyearbeforeAbrahamLincolnselection. Matthadntreallycaredaboutpolitics,anddidntfollowtherapidlyheatingtopicofslavery. However,hebegantonoticeslightchangesinthepeoplearoundhim.Hisneighborswouldntgo outsideasoften,andiftheydid,theydjump,justalittle.Itsasiftheyexpectedabombtogooff,ora guntobefired. Fromthere,itonlyescalatedfurther.Heheardpeoplegossipingmoreandmore,speakingof increasedtensionsoverslaverybetweentheNorthernandSouthernstates.Hedneverreallybelieved slaverywasright,butdidntparticularlycarethatitwasgoingon. Onenight,hedrememberedabookfromseveralyearsagoaboutslavery.Beingonly12,he didntcareaboutthebook,orreadingingeneral.However,seeingwhatwasgoingonaroundhim,he wantedtoflipthroughittohaveabetterunderstandingofwhatwasgoingon. Mattnoticedhisfatherhadacopyonashelf.UncleTomsCabin,thatswhatitwas. Heaskedifhecouldreadit,buthisfathersnatcheditfromhishands,sayingonlyYoudbe betteroffifyoudidntreadit,ifyoudidntunderstand.Hisfatherwalkedintohisbedroom,forcinga sadsmile.Goodnight,Matt,hechokedout,suddenlyseemingyearsolder,andshutthedoor.That wasthat. Mattfacedadilemma.Hismotherdiedofheartdiseasewhenhewasjustababy,andhisonly otherfamilywashisfather.Heknewhewaswise,andwouldntsaywhathesaidfornoreason.Onthe otherhand,whathesaidonlyintriguedhimmore.Ifitinvokedthatkindofreactionfromhisfather,it musthavehadgreatimportance.Lettinghiscuriositygetthebetterofhim,hemanagedtoobtainacopy fromaneighborofhis.Ashereadthroughit,hebecameincreasinglyfascinatedandhorrified.How couldanybodybetreatedinsuchagrotesqueway? Hisfather,onlydayslater,lookedhimrightintheeyeandinquiredYoureadthebookdidnt you?AllMattcoulddowasreturnhisfathersgaze,melancholyevidentinhiseyes.Imsorry,boy, hewhispered,ImsorryIdidnttryharder.Youdontknowwhatyouvedone.Mattcouldnthelp butagree. Hereadthebookoverandover,tryingtounderstandwhathisfatherhadsaid,andafterreading itmoretimesthanhecouldcount,hereturnedittohisneighborwithahurriedThankyou.Mattwasnt thesameafterlearningthetruth,andformonthsafter,itremainedinthebackofhismind,always loomingoverhim,pushinghimtohisdestiny. Timecontinuedtopass,andMatttriedtoignoreslaveryandthebookasmuchashecould. However,thenextpresidentialelectioninevitablycamearound,andMattpayedmuchmoreattentionto thisonethantheonesinthepast.Nowbeing20,hecouldvoteforthefirsttime. TheelectionbroughtbackallofMattmemoriesofwhathereadinUncleTomsCabin,andhe knewwithoutadoubtthatheneededtovoteforLincoln. Hedidntforesee,though,whatwouldhappenwhenLincolnwon.Newsspreadofthe SouthernStatessecedingonebyone,andawarbeginning.Hearingthis,Mattfinallyknewwhathe coulddotomakeadifference,toendwhathehadsorecentlylearnedabout,toemancipatetheslaves. LittledidMattknow,inamerefiveyears,hundredsofthousandsofpeoplewouldbedead.

Chapter1Demise
Wearecoming,FatherAbraham,threehundredthousandmore, FromMississippiswindingstream,andfromNewEnglandsshore Weleaveoutploughsandworkshops,ourwivesandchildrendear, Withheartstoofullforutterance,butwithasilenttear Wedarenotlookbehindus,butsteadfastlybefore, WearecomingFatherAbraham,threehundredthousandmore!

Assoonashecould,MattenlistedinthearmyontheUnionsside.Beforelong,itbecame
clearthatLincolnwouldsendanybodycapableoffighting.Matt,alongwiththousandsofother inexperiencedsoldiers,madehiswaytoBullRununderGeneralIrvinMcDowell. Duringoneofthefirstbrawlsbetweenthetwoarmies,Mattwasreloadinghisgunwhenhe heardaloudbangandjustlikethathewasknockedoverinsurprise,butscrambledbackup.Inhis fear,hecouldntgetaholdonhisgun.Hecomposedhimselfandwenttograbit,buttohissurprise,his fingersslippedrightthroughit.Hehadbiggerproblems,though.Theopposingsoldierwasadvancing andpointedhisgunstraightathim.Heputuphisarmstoshieldhimself,buttohisastonishment,nothing happened.Heheardasoldierbehindhimcryoutinpain.Forgettingtheenemysoldier,heturnedaround toseehisteammatesarmflyoff,andthesoldiercollapsed.ThenMattnoticedsomethingpeculiar.He sawasoldierdirectlybehindhimwherehedfallenearlier.Hehadacloserlookandjumpedback, yellingsilently.Thebodywashisown,withalargepoolofbloodspreadingbeneathit.Overwhelmed withterror,hedidntnoticetheenemysoldierthatwasbehindhimbeginwalking.Thethingis,the soldierwalkedrightthroughMatt. ItdidnttakeMattlongtofigureoutthathebecamewhatpeopleperceiveasghosts,butits somethingdifferent,somethingmoremeaningful.Hefeltanew,emptyfeeling,butnotexactly.Itwas moreofanewawarenessofanemptinessthatwasalwaysthere,anemptinessthathedalwaysbeen tryingtofill.Hedidntknowhowtofillthehole,though,sohejustwatchedtheWarandhopedhe didntdieinvain. Mattwanderedandwandered,witnessingmorepeoplediefortheircauseforhiscauseuntil hefoundhimselfatachurchcalledShiloh.Heknewhecouldwalkthroughawall,butdidntwantto admittohimselfwhathehadbecome,andwaitedpatientlyforsomebodytoopenthedoor.Heslipped throughandsawagreatmanysoldiers,seeminglyontheUnionside,celebrating.Hewasntsurewhy theywererejoicing,butitcheeredhimupafterwatchingsomanydieonthebattlefield.Heevensawthe famousGeneralUlyssesS.Grant,whomhedheardsoldierstalkaboutrecently.JustwhenMatt thoughthisspiritshadbeenlifted,thedoorwassmasheddownandsoldiersbeganpouringin,attacking everyone.Matt,utterlyshockedanddismayedthathecouldnthelp,justran.Heranuntiltheloud gunshotswerejustawhisperinthewind.

Chapter2Realization
IfyoulookacrossthehilltopsthatmeettheNorthernsky, Longmovinglinesofrisingdustyourvisionmaydescry Andnowthewind,aninstant,tearsthecloudyvailaside, Andfloatsaloftourspangledflag,ingloryandinpride, Andbayonetsinthesunlightgleam,andbandsbravemusicpour: WearecomingFatherAbraham,threehundredthousandmore!

Mattwasjustaboutdonewiththebloodshed.Hewantedtoseeifslaverycouldbestopped,
buthedseensomanypeoplediehealmostcouldntbearit.Sometimestheydletoutabloodcurdling screamafterlosingalimb,sometimestheydbetorntobits,andsometimestheydcryasingletearafter beingmortallywounded.Atearfortheirfamily,fortheirfriends,andfortheirnation. Matt,afterthinkingofallofthis,decidedhewouldtryandhelpratherthandonothing.He wouldfeelbetterifheatleasttried,butwhatcouldhepossiblydo?Hedlosthischancewhenhedied atBullRun.Knowingheprobablycouldntdoathing,hewenttothemostviolentplaceatthetime, Antietam.Henoticedthefocusofthetwosideswasnowgettingtoeachotherscapitol,withRobertE. LeeleadingtheConfederatearmy.Hequicklyrealizedthisbattlewouldhavemany,manydeaths,but hewascontenttodosomething. Anything.Hedalreadytriedtopickthingsupmultipletimesbefore,soskippedtryingtoshoot agun.Hecoulddo,helearned,veryslightthings,thingsthatnobodywouldreallynotice,butthingsthat wouldsavelives.Onetime,heurgedaspeedingbulletawayfromaUnionsoldier,changingitsangle justslightly,butsavingthesoldier.Anothertime,hewilledawoundedasoldiershearttobeatjusta fewmoretimesbeforethemancouldgetmedicalhelp.ThesesmallthingsconvincedMattthathedid matter,andkepthimsearchingtofillthegapwithinhimself. HewasinspiredbyawomannamedClaraBarton,whowenttocareforwoundedsoldiers whileunderfire.Whilelookingatamansherescuedhavealegamputated,hecalledheranangelof thebattlefield,whichthesurgeonrepeated.Mattjumped,askingifthesurgeoncouldhearhim,buthe didntreply.Itmusthavebeenacoincidence,right? LookingbackatthebattleofAntietamwhenitwasallover,hesawbodieslyingeverywhere. Hecouldnthelpbutfeelsad,butheknewhepreventedseveralmoredeaths,sojustmovedonwithhis lifeordeath. Whentherewasnomajorfightinganywhere,MattdecidedtogoseePresidentAbraham Lincoln,itsnotasifanybodycouldstophim.HevisitedJeffersonDavis,aswell,butreallyfocusedon hishero,Lincoln.WhenMattfoundhim,helookedoveranofficiallookingdocumentsolemnly. Lookingatit,Mattwasoverjoyed.ThisEmancipationProclamationfreedalloftheslavesinthe South.Hewasalittleconfused,astheyhadntactuallydefeatedtheSouthyet,butitdidntchangehis moodatall.Hewasinspiredtogotoeverybattlehecould,andmakethedifferencethathecould make.

Chapter3Totality
Ifyoulookallupyourvalleys,wherethegrowingharvestsshine, Youmayseeoursturdyfarmerboys,fastformingintoline Andchildrenfromtheirmothers'knees,arepullingattheweeds, Andlearninghowtoreapandsowagainsttheircountry'sneeds Andafarewellgroupstandsweepingateverycottagedoor: Wearecoming,FatherAbraham,threehundredthousandmore!

Inallofthetimeafterheddied,Mattneverwentbacktoseehisfatherorhistown,oreven
anytown.Hedbeenfocusingonlyonthebattles,andthefreedomoftheslaves.Hefeltsomewhat ashamed. Hewenttogovisithisfatherandclosestfriends,butwasutterlyastonishedwhenhegotthere. Therewerechildrenworkingglumly,bothinfieldsandotherplaces.Someofthefactoriesattheedgeof townhadstoppedmakingtheirpreviousitemsandwerenowmakingammunitionorguns.Nobody reallydidanythingaboutit,though,butwhatcouldthey?Itwasatotalwar. Notverymanypeopleweredoinggreatasaresultofthis,though,especiallybecauseofthe incometaxtheywerenowpaying.Itwasatotalwar,alright,andMattsupposedeveryonehadto participatesomewayoranother. SeeinghistownlikethisjustsaddenedMatt,sohecontinuedonwithhisjourney.

Chapter4Evolution
Youhavecalledus,andwe'recoming,byRichmond'sbloodytide Tolayusdown,forfreedom'ssake,ourbrother'sbonesbeside Orfromfoultreason'ssavagegrouptowrenchthemurderousblade, Andinthefaceofforeignfoesitsfragmentstoparade Sixhundredthousandloyalmenandtruehavegonebefore: Wearecoming,FatherAbraham,threehundredthousandmore!

GettysburgwaswhereMattnextfoundhimself,theturningpointoftheAmericanCivilWar.
Hethoughtheshouldbehappy,seeingtheUniongettheupperhand,buthewasnt.Thereweremore than50,000bodieslyingeverywhere,bodiesofallkindsofpeople.Union,Confederacy,black,white, old,young.Mattdid,ofcourse,savesomepeople,buthewasonceagainquestioningwhathestood forandwhyhewaswatchingallofthesepeopledie.HecompletelymissedU.S.Grantcontinue

onwardtoVicksburgashespentmonthswalkingthroughforest,andjustthoughtaboutthepastthree years.SomuchhadhappenedtoMattandtotheUnitedStates,somuch.Onedayhewasdrawnback toGettysburg.Aceremonywasinprogress,andafterafewminutes,Mattturnedaroundtoleave. However,henoticedPresidentLincolnpreparingtomakeaspeech,whichsurprisedhim.Hehadnt expectedhimtobehere.HedecidedtostaytoseewhatthePresidenthadtosay. Whathedidsay,TheGettysburgAddress,touchedMattespeciallyBut,inalargersense,we cannotdedicatewecannotconsecratewecannothallowtheground.Thebravemen,livingand dead,whostruggled,haveconsecratedit,faraboveourpoorpowertoaddordetract.AlthoughMatt knewthespeechwasntabouthim,therewasapowerinit.Thispowertouchedeverysoldierthatever didorwilllive. Afterthat,MattfollowedtheUnionssoldiersclosely,tryingharderthanevertodohispart. HedbeenhelpingformonthsandsawthebattletiltevenmoreintheUnionsfavor.Onedaywhenthe Unionwasclearlywinning,hewatchedthepassingoftheThirteenthAmendmentthelawthatended slaveryintheUnitedStatesforever. Thenextday,hewitnessedtheSurrenderatAppomattox,wheretheUnionfinallyofficiallywon. AfterallMathadgonethrough,hefinallywon.However,after,hewasatalossforwhattodo.He watchedandwaitedforsomethinganythingthatwouldgivehimappeasement. Onlyfivedaysafterthat,Mattwasdrawntoasinglegunshotmilesaway,whichheheardasifit wasrightbehindhim.Heranmilesinamatterofseconds,andtimeslowedasamanshotPresident Lincolninthebackofhishead. Mattknewhewastoolateassoonashewalkedin,butsawawispyLincolnseparatefromhis body.Hewasstartledforamomentbecauseithadnthappenedtoanybodyelsehedseen,and realizedthatmusthavebeenwhatitlookedlikewhenhedied.Lincolnlookedoverathimandsaid firmlyYouvedonewell,Matt.Improudofwhatyouveaccomplishedsofar,andIneedyoutokeep going..MattstaredspeechlesslyasLincolnturnedandwalkedaway,andheturnedaround,adding Oh,andonemorething,Matt.Ineedyoutowakeup.Lincolnsmiled,andMattsvisionwentblurry. Hisheadhurt,andthewordswakeupechoedinhishead.Heeventuallyfaintedandsawonly darknessforwhatfeltlikeaneternity.

Finally,heforcedhiseyesopenandsawawomansmilingkindlytohim.Hersmilebeamed brighterthanthesun,andMattcouldnthelpbutstareatherinconfusionandhappiness. Good,yourefinallyawake,shesaid.Youwereshotonthebattlefield,butthesoldier missed.Youpassedoutfromstress,shockandexhaustion,though. Mattsatupinapanic,shakingawayhisfeelings..Whatwar?WhereamI?Whatsgoingon? heblurtedout. Shhh,justcalmdown,sweetie.WereatBullRun,remember?Golly,youlooklikeyouvejust seenaghost. IthinkIhave,Mattwhispered,andlaidbackdownonhisback.IthinkIhave.