In The Mist of Money Woes

written by Guillermo Gee

SN 420 Producttions 2014

In The Mist Of Money Woes

written by Guillermo Gee In The Mist of Money Woes is a group of compiled works of poetry from 2007 until 2013. The majority of these poems are thoughts,rants,songs,odes,lullabies and free verse of a time when I was angry or depressed or sometimes even drunk and half awake writing over my laptop. Over this 7 year period many raw poems came out and presented themselves as good performance pieces, others are random poems I've posted as notes and blogs online. I have been writing since I was about 9 years old and I began doing poetry at age 14. I have been published many times before high school. I have been part several poetry groups in the past which were founded on the principles of free thinking, creativity and writing from the heart instead of worrying about syntax and grammar. I wanted to finally show myself and my work in the raw form as i read it and preform it in public.

Many of these poems are unedited and are definitely lacking in good grammar and use a ton of curse words and slang. I also sometimes use Southern New Mexican Spanish in some of my poems, as well as references to people,local places and fictional characters and things that few people outside of my area might understand. I use a form of writing consistent with the lacking educational standards that newer generations are more or less understand. Also / 's denote the break in a song and should be read as such. I would like to stress that my grammar and spelling, although they need work are good enough to understand for people enjoy. I apologize to my English teachers, writers, professors and grammar nazis in advance . Nevertheless, It is a collection of many of the poems and songs that I hope the reader can relate to despite these said problems. It is something that I hope the reader can enjoy and keep the spirit of creativity and poetry alive.I have been lucky to see how far I've grown from these works and hope to continue to keep writing and performing for years to come Thank You for Reading! Please Share! Guillermo Gee Las Cruces, New Mexico 2/6/2014

Sense of Entitlement Your sense of Entitlement is a product of your bad environment. This meaning that when you come to power trips and pipe dreaming, your actions to the audience is more demeaning, than the shit you have in your mouth gleaming yet I am one man merely double teaming. One the fact that never in my life have I seen, my own friends get green Act like they're better for what they need. Their hearts and heads filled with greed. I thought music was love grown though a seed. Instead of anger, fame, albums, alcohol and weed. More than a game, because you want to be come more of a name and publish your entitled rights to fame. Those that are forgiving, repent and hold their heads in shame Knock it into your head so hard I'll have you asking how everythings changed. Or when did a hobby become so distant and out of range? Pick up the receiver and nobody is on the other line When music resorts to violence thats when it gets out of line When I ask them why they do it the merely respond " I gets mine" and I laugh out loud because I've heard those words from bit lines and supposed hip hop beats with reused click lines. A false hope for the future of picked finds. And a war mentality like throwing brick mines I draw master pieces while you make stick lines and are only one-sided with your prick minds I snicker when I here you say you have sick rhymes For time has a way of making you a dammed fool For what do you know of my community and school? Beef may be beef but you are a sick fool. Lower than a long list of fungus including toadstools Your aren't original you are made from many others Battling Soul Verse is like battling my many sisters and brothers After the smoke clears I'll have the pain staking task of calling all of your mothers and explaining to them, that when the bomb hit you didn't duck for cover.

Slam! Slam bitches! What is slam? is it a thing? a word? a movie by Saul Williams on how to be cool or hip, while the boys listen the girls can't get off the pen tip. Slam! Is it a revolution made for suburban institutions? Little college girls promoting feminist agendas even though they have no clue of Susan b Anthony or Elizabeth Cody Staten? Even though they talk about woman's rights then act like a super slut at nights ? Dont hate me dear, Im just rapping telling you what I saw and how it happened Held to a double standard , doing the right with the left handed I got you thinking breathing hard and panting , its like my momma would do to me when I was acting up start slapping Or is it just a wanna slim shady, little kim lady or jonny come lately ranting ? Look and the seeds slams as my words jam, in you like I planned It slam man! What is slam? is it something a Denny's you get with a side of hash browns ? Is slam gravity and reality to the ground? Or a Jonny Depp look alike saying he's a rock star with a big dick and the sad white girl who writes about something she saw on Lifetime or guys touching her to invoke pity and sentiment from her fellow peers to wipe her fake mascara tears even thought I would never touch her even if she paid me.. Trust Fund Hippies of the world UNITE! My college kid thesis Why Slam is good for me cause: Im too white to bust flows get chains and hoes seen it all on Mtv Thats the first time I learn what and how to smoke Dro Cause Kurt Loder and Christina showed me so Its Slam man... is slam a word.....a word... a word you repeat and then you get louder and LOUDER until you audience is insulted and pale clam chowder. Slam it gives sheltered Nintendo power kids power, gives Malibu barbie and Gi Joe and ken powers like r kelly golden showers Power like Minimum wage 5.15 and hour Slam is like pogs and Im the slammer here to make you flip and sick and stick to this dick, nah never that I just am using words to feel this clever rap any idiot can do that. It's slam man! A new main drain name lame brain brand Come one come all you Suburban revolutionaries let me show you the ghetto, not the one you see on Tv not the one you've seen in a documentary I lived in the 3rd world next to your 4th world, Im the dude that wiped the dust off your window sill mowed your lawns, pick up your condom wrappers and cans, sold oranges and pick chile and onions ,

and cleaned your pool, Yet Im not damn fool My parents and there parents though educated in the streets and libraries never went to your schools Slam its like so damn.Cool ! Hey like lets make a group that only cares about points instead of making a point. Thats originality at its finest lets take the fun out of poetry and all you hold dear shove it up your rear and amalgamate it, degrade it and put it in to a tiny marketable shrink wrap ALL CAUSE IM TOO WHACK TO RAP! Its slam man another art form Anglos stole from the Black man its fucking whack man Jazz, blues and hip hop, rock all to make swing, square dancing, pop, and soft rock Thats what slam has become I want you all ....poets included To say fuck Points Fuck slam teams. Fuck Slammers,. competitions and poetic dreams Fuck your right to voice your concern or make the world turn I work alone, without guidance or instruction you sucked the fun out of it like liposuction All of you in the audience don't give a fuck that I was born disabled and poor But if one of your own got up here a spent 4 months on how to make disabled turn to disadvantaged and poor to destitute and change and romanticize the fact that Im not a Mexican Im a poor "Latino" or Hispanic This is your time to panic DAMN it It's slam man ...Damn You would applaud the poem give that person a medal for watching a movie documentary and say like wow good job (Cali voice) "Like that was totally awesome I like totally felt like I was there in mexico with those "poor kids" Yeah right, as we say in Spanish: No mames buay! as I can say those kids were my primos, hermanos carnalas, abuelas and tias, compas, piasas Translated in anglo as Stopping playing bro ,thats my family your talking about you would feel the same If I got on stage and said Fuck white people! EVEN THO IM HALF WHITE or I like to tell myself I am so you wont call me a racist even thought race has nothing to do with it would you do what your daddy and grandaddy did lynch a mexican and hang him like a xmas ornament "Ayuk My gosh golly look at them meskins hanging der like your poetree dang ole beaners" as I look in the crowd as if I stubbed your toe HANGING your regrets like streamers look, Fuck it there s the door if you don't like just go,back to playing wow! I m stuck between keeping it real and keeping right keeping black yellow red brown and white cause Im doing it right fucking now! ITs SLAM man Through the social microscope with your blackberries Iphone and laptops Mira ese! you want to be part of us orale homes Dime carnal! Have You ever picked crops? Ran from cops or or gotten caught ? Now now Im not looking for you pity or respect or anything you fucken slammy snob! I just want you too see how many bad apples can fuck up the whole barrel and ruin something that I love something more then just a dream That I use a weapon against the fake fool writing as making points for there little clubs They're afraid of my family and my friends think that we are a bunch dirty Mexicans of ghetto thugs Look man, Im half brown all the way down and Im the dude that sells you drugs While your home in your park place or grove apartment sitting above Im on Martin luther king way getting Love From people that know what up que saben la onda ! So fuck your Slam and your pretenses my cultural offenses It slam man like the hippy dippy

Weather man, funny like George Carlin can A fucking clown in white face but wait now your an expert on my race on where I rest weary patas in my place Im done watching you kids fucking it you all are cartoons Donald ducking it No I wont help you on your Spanish home work Toma mi pinche mangurea puto so start sucking it Its slam man and I'll be damned to get shammed while I rep the four states they took from us man! Im no joker no man with a plan, no real reason for you you have the power to vote, make laws and promote your agendas I have no real power this is how voice my concern make royalties blood burn and squirm Slam man ....just slam you've been slammed crammed and you know where I stand on the bottom , you on top apples have gotten rotten and you' don't care after I'm done talking it will a be forgotten, while you connected to my space or face book to find your Mircosoft pc public relations out look then really what's slam about you despicable crook? And just so you know I hate what we have become I hate what we have become I Hate what we have become. Ill never join your club I would never be part of anything that would accept me for being fake The word of the day SLAM...for all you snakes the poetry they took away! Slam! Slam bitches away gone away Slam snitches away, they'll pay they'll pay SLAM Bitches away SLAM! Bitches ! Damn Bitches

Bloodline I came from a bloodline of thieves and royalty, but either way it worked out. I never worked out. Cause I just put work out/ while kids are too busy on facebook with their twerk out. But its work out. Cause in the end it will work out. And these fools never put their work out. Internet thug cookies like its girl scouts. Thats how simple their rhyme is with lines like that that make my soul wanna squirm out. Took too much acid so theyre burnt out. They dont read books cause they say they learnt out. Work a 9-5 and you get burnt out. With shit so bad its smelling like a burnt mouse. I set the roof on fire, in your burnt house. Burned bridges by your light house. Im ghetto like an icehouse. Nah, homie you dont have the right house. Go ask for sugar right out. Flour is power but you never know death right out. Never saw it rule shit around me their you a fright out. I love the real shit, this is real it Love is real shit . The real fit Get you going like real quick. While you get burned like a steel fit.

Children of the sun Children of the sun Child of mud Dirt and Soil Soul in Prison Holding the hand of the man, while cursing him Mind of a rapist Child of the brick Those bars will hold them back The broken mirrors and screaming glass talk of our brothers who are and who arent Burning down their bridges to progression Brother Mexica, the lying eagle sees the moon Calling yourself a medic, when you are a madman Disillusionments, deceit. Youve lead the way. Only you in the fire my brother , melting away. What you see in your eyes is me While Im flowing como agua I prayed for you. I can say it 3 times but it has no meaning in the first Losing your grip on reality. You shun the light of your ancestors and hide in pretty clothes And funny sayings. All sparks in the fire. Only rumors Disrespect and respect You know not the word.

Good deeds , Bad times deeds gone unnoticed You know not the reason Ive prayed for you But I stopped Because I say your outcome Being burned by the same sun that made your flesh As quickly as you steal from him, You steal from us all The quicker you lie to us You lie to us all. The guilt .. It takes you away.

A New Sunflower In a sea of fish and dirt Sunflowers dried by the earth the written word is strong for those that carry girth and bones may break and be replaced but you can never look a god in the face So I went to heaven to travel the skies To find my body in the air where it lies I am a seed a growth in your temple the sight of a shot of a powerful beauty thats all mental the life of a flower learning how it was meant to this is real power so take away your weapons and hate Replace them Fuck your problems Face them and if you want to learn listen to the old they are the ones working hard to keep you out of the cold so this is life this is strength that you hold inside

this is real forget your pride this is what it is you gotta work hard to supply for your kids this is the life we life as I planted one in my garden I made it to have so I could harden the skills of making a change light up the path as we walk freed from chains I planted a seed to show you all that you need this is life the best you just got to believe

Blurred City I'm tired of city streets, and short answers I'm fed up with quick fixes and cancers The mistakes you made and the way I feel. Tell me this is no real. Oh reality! the truth in the matter is.... I don't really care anymore. You've lost the only one fighting things are getting smaller on the inside as I create and seal your test of fate. I'm tired of these fakes that rain down like snow flakes and hold you accountable Im tired of seeing hunger, dumb wonder, poverty and perverts from under the radar. While spacemen pray to the quasars I am the one in question. I feel offended because the holes havent been mended Which led to our demise. the eyes of a darkened sunrise Im tired of handshakes and small talk bike rides and long walks just to get it together You are no better. Here down underground the sun still burns my back. With undergrowth and a movement with no direction My heart burns like weed no affection in this lesson. Inspired but I feel like Im tired and lost the fire for those who think they are higher.

LOSERS It where I live to be the one who came home to a bunch of losers no care in the world drug abusers Shooting up in my pad, drinking, smoking up to the same old shit I don't care about you anymore I hope you get whats coming I wasted too long to care about you I hope you die like the rest of them I hope you see if you don't respect me you can go to hell if you don't respect my stuff you don't respect me fuck you drug peddling assholes Momma was right I made a mistake choosing this lifestyle only cause I wanted to get high and freestyle Fuck you for not showing me love I hope you see that you lost the best person on your side I hope you learn that you fucked up I hope you see that no document means less to me than your birth certificate I won't be played for a fool I won't be disssed I won't settle for less than human stone face liars, and people that claim to be too good for me I can't tell you how much I hate you when I used to love you I hope you get the worst wake up call ever I'm done fighting your battles in fact I'm done putting up with all of you every single one of you male and female make my day asshole I hope you choke I hope you see how angry you've made me your going to die in a gutter Damn, I should have listened to my mother your aren't my friend

you are my sister or my brother and you never were my lover I want you to suffer because there is no other way for you to see I tried to be something I'm not but I'm not I'm not going to let you bring me down I'm not going to hell or jail because you have no ambition no dream no focus no vision this is the reason I've made a mistake choosing you as a friend now I have to drop every stupid asshole from here to el paso I will not be a loser like you I will succeed I must get away from all of you You aren't entitled to shit you aren't real hip hop just a fake poet with a gay crew of fagot wanna be white boys because your ashamed of your raza as for the other one you're a scum bag rat and for the rest of you you are just a bunch of losers, users and abusers I'm done with you I don't care if you hate me that's fine I have a couple of real friends people that love me not because I smoke weed not because I'm Dj Dislexican not because I'm a poet because I'm Billy a real person that demands respect give it to me! and if you think you can take advantage of me again I'll let you know that you aren't worth anything to me I'm done with you Moving on to better things I don't care if I don't have any friends after this because real heads know this isn't about them go head hater hate

I'm ready for your pitiful fate.

Red Green Yellow Sometimes I don't understand you Maybe you don't mean to be understood Moved not by much to find the concrete and stone inside where you keep your soul I can be myself, cause thats I all I want to be. I used to want to be understood Now I want people to feel the way I feel all the time Mellow From red green to yellow Burning trees and effigies false idols and broken dreams of a past that never made it this is what your life consists of when you are alone Sometimes I hate you for lack of a better word you're shallow and naive Not just you, but every 1 millionth customer that claims they know what a real person is. Sometimes I love you But not like that just enough to hang around you like a bad smell until you burn every last reminisce of me I've turned from in to out from out to in to see my problems as your problems and way to begin I used to want to be famous now I just want to be left alone I used to hide who I was, cause I knew the world wouldnt understand. Sometimes I don't like who've I became but less of a human yet more of a name Sometimes I blame you but then I ask what for you never stopped me only left me sore Some things can never be explained so allow me to be the unexplainable the turning door to your turning Sometimes I want to walk in your shoes but then I realize that my shoes don't fit I used to use the used cause I was abused the uses of the useless are really useless I used to be just like you then I realized I pushed them all away

so take it as advice for what I'm about to say Sometimes, more times other times it doesnt matter in the end I sometimes wonder why you used to be my friend. Red Green and Yellow, Hot Spicy but mellow.

Want it to die I just want this shit to die. Im tired all ready, what are we like 5? Talking shit over electronic devices, and to add to your vices, to know what your vice is, leaving you and me lifeless while life rips me a new one. But whos the one feeling as if he got cheated, the one whos only in time wasted regretted and deleted, fretted and needed but badly mistreated, ways of affection. Now that I got your attention..My affection is effecting my grow and gives me headaches like Excedrin Like this, like I write hits, with those who have love to grow with. No fables and old myths just tables and old rips. Ive grew with real friends and real love but Ive put the fake ones more above. More above than above to show my love but friends and be the end. Friends can be friends. Of when we used to be friends, but I think about it friends, and a friend you never were or was. Why? Well cause.. You only care about you, let know one doubt you and think none can do this shit without you. You wouldnt do with out you. But without you, I will always amount to. greater than. Youre a flash in the pan, Im later than. The rest of the history will cater then and if it doesnt I still did more than you cousin, while you acted like yourself playing wish I was when I wasnt. I dont care about the past only the present, where I am present to those I re-sent. How many Emcees and Djs must get dissed before they stop fucking with Billy or Chris? Soul Verse is real just better than this. Poets and Wannabes that wont be missed

Pen Dragons Here's a child that before he could write before he was talking before he could crawl he was walking his life was made of love and heart aches and the time he spent in his room alone with his notebooks and cassette tapes people called him weird as he plotted out his schemes and told people the future of his life through his dreams. because sense to him was never common while he spoke to plants and hung with drug dealing shamans he was deaf to their comments and only kept on with movement as held the planets together to hear its improvement. And he wrote about the way things began and spoke about love, life and his master plan no one ever stayed around long enough to believe him he was the opposite of odd, only the good side of even. so he grew over time with all four seasons smoked a pack a day, and lived his life his way when he used to be on the respirator barley breathing And he wrote more and more lamenting of what never came wondering if God had lied to him or if it was in his brain. as he became more in tune. Others began to question they decided he was crazy and they would teach him a lesson But he wrote. as he came into this world with an umbilical cord around his throat and then he wrote as the gun ignited and left him metal and some smoke but then he wrote is this the way I was supposed to go? he wrote more not caring if he'd ever know He spent his time surround by thieves and liars because inside of all of them he saw the fire but he stayed alone because they couldn't understand the journey was on his own. he grew up with his imagination, and a wagon along the banks of the river with his only friend that was a pen dragon he grew up around wanna be gangsters and fakes but he loved crazy people, writing with spiders and snakes. all he ever wanted in this life was a girl, and pen and a place to skate but many found him odd but in the end gave him a break as he wrote his life to the sound of a break. But he wrote. the life that he questioned with no answers he wrote about the universe and the place that matters

inside his soul was gold, but his mind was glass that shattered people were always fake to him, said bad things behind him but in front they flattered so he wrote about his worries and the things he never got. but his own friend were mean to him and told him to stop they said to him " be normal and get a life change" but he never listened to any of them and he stayed the same as the boy grew into a man he learned that life was lame or at least it was his out look until he met a dame. she was odd too and even uneven but in the end still the same so they wrote about things they had seen and realized they met each other in a dream. but people couldn't stand to understand and labeled them as weird and instead of loved by their friends they became feared. So they wrote about life and the misunderstandings and in end the end the ended on a good standing but people wouldn't be happy until they were crushed so in the end they wrote until they were plucked by laboratories, doctors and physicians. Questioning their knowledge and their positions staring at a knife as they hacked into their brains with incisions trying to understand their 3rd eyes and how they had their visions instead they killed them and led them to prison. but they wrote of a day they would come back and seek what was written. they've been gone now but the their pen dragon still stays. and show of their knowledge and how they lived their way and yet many of their former friends will say you can hear them scribbling in their notebooks this very day.

Lit a candle for you I lit a candle for you My brother my sister, victor and all You cared for me. Even though Im not your own I lit a prayer for you Sad as I am. Not about me. Love you momma, sister and brother Thanks for showing me that its ok to get well Im not a bad man Just a sad man Living alone in the badlands I want you to be happy, thanks to peyote I a glad man But harder for the experience My Deer, oh my Dear, I love you hear as I pray my day away. You stabbed me Hurt me Made me Die I love you grandfather and you know why Kill me and raise me up from the dead Tzlao Goodye thank you mother why? Do I feel pain? Its my path.. To him and humans insane

Life love medicine my brain I need youre help Daddy wont give it Governor wont give me ish Im alone pray to fish and cedar as I wish To be in tipi Throwing up just leave me I have demons in side With MAMA I cant hide Love you even tho I die White man never know why

I Ive been played, Ive been had, Ive been done real real bad. In the dead ashes of ancestral home lands. Most lost their ways Im not here to preach . Im just here to say. Im always doing something. Wrong or right. I always fight the fight, light that light and am way too tight. Speak double, Ever only trouble is no one gets the reference, in libraries in my mind, I have only a references from years behind. In the reference section in my head. Referring to past blemishes and scars that have yet to heal. In which I want dead. They say Im emotional but I know Im just real. They say poetry was life. But it is my life. I bleed right on the damn page. Burning midnight oil in daylight Unreleased on my rage. Ive prayed and prayed through pain and self criticism Ive played the harp, fiddle and never the flute. I hate to refute the world we shoot and the way we regroup the pain you got while they shoot the clock. Time is relevant to this equation as speak of ills in dissertation. man made by the vibrations and genetic fluctuations Brought on by those who claim divination and divine inclination ,living in their stations, brought the onslaught to the creation. Yet those that claim destruction with instructions with those in conjunction of those we think cease to function. The sections that Im jumping to are the rivers of destruction we are jumping into. While we all play victim and say You dont know what Ive been through

Writers Write Writers write. And Fighters fight the night away. Stop the pain in stop motion sail the day. The Days are lost in motion. Motion is stopped by devotion. Yet I want out of the boat. No longer can I sit and mope. Just the noose around my throat. Take a number sit back a listen close. As they poison your heads which each dose. Self Doubt without a reason or logic. The verbal sewage I dogged it. Like a bullet train I dodged it. Like Mike with the Mike I hogged it. Tie down in tees with Texas Tea But next to me is freedom. A river to cross my troubles now beaten For some rice to eat The sores on my feet. Blackened face and skin. Told you were born in sin. Yet this is freedom. Tied by a dream. An Act of redemption so it seems. To save us all from our own. This world is a boat. Shallow and alone. Sailing aimlessly down the ocean.

Hitting the shore , Stopping all motion.

Medicine Medicine from ancestral homes. People turned in to drones Pocket full of stones Cedar and sage from mountains high. High on the love. The love that moves us. The love that makes us. The one that can hurt us. May the world see itself as a whole These are strawberry fields, but chile fields full of fire. The gold is in the hill but to me its in the fire.

Sleepless Never can I sleep when people owe me money. Its not money that keeps me awake. Its me. Up all night. Unable to connect to anything real or false. Just anything at all can keep me up. Hurting in the chest. Hurting in the pocket, hurting when I have no reason to hurt. Its the fact that I can owe money and get money owed to me. Money they say is bills and bills cause ills, chills and sometime thrills, but it causes Up burning the fires of a dead muse. Wasting time like water. Feeling like crap, only because Im killing myself. I will Never, I ask for much, never Bullets will never be the words of saviors. Watched intensely. Kept in mind immensely. Can't sleep Always dreaming. Sleepless nights.

Still Lock Still Lock Props to the stull block Real fools got their gulls locked In the stull block Full of huffers and stoners Drama queens and loners To the stull block Family land Ice cream truck stand Stull block, steel trash cans Where you get thrashed man Stull block The real shit no talk Drive bys and home owners Huffers and stoners BBQS and BV2s Domski and Fat Orly too All of my real crew Foot ball in the streets Basketball court in hood Real Sheet

The Writer...El escritor Eso es mis palabras como mi vida My songs are like stories My words are like pictures Yo soy el cantante como Hector Lavoe I'l sing you a song... I'll tell you a story Write you a love song about how I loved and lost Dies and lives thru my music Words are the drips of sweat for my hard work I am the sign of change Yo soy el escritor Writing my laments on pages stained in blood a sweat of a 21st century identity crisis love story ended in tragedy. I'm the writer, el voz de mi pueblo.. Oh mi pueblo con mis manos de obras My words like our soldiers dying in foreign lands My shoulders hurt from holding their words on my back Pictures the movie in sequence Oh my works "Mis Obras, Oh Dios Mis Obras" Screamed the Spanish poet who met his end during a civil war. My words unfinished and unrefined. My words.. Mis palabras Broken down Criticized Ripped apart Like a newborn out of it's womb and then thought about too much to cheapen our feelings "YOU TALK TOO MUCH" says my pen to me as I shed the tears of the once lost It is me the writer I am the songs I am the art that is moving This ink is my blood the paper is my soul burning like the sun as it beats down on our fathers working in the fields for a change I'm broken but I'm looking for a change because Yo soy el escritor

I bleed from my surroundings telling you this story many times you've heard How we are part of each other and how we work for our futures Telling you the song of mis antepasados through musica de los muertos Oye me mis pueblos de Arizona, Nuevo Mexico, y la isla de Puerto Rico Somos hermanos All my brothers and sisters dancing to these words Our future Nuestra gente Dancing towards our future to the beat of time Lost in our motives till the end of the line ESO ES MI GENTE! bleeding all the same Whether you are working for us or dancing for us to this song I sing Oye me gente Mis parientes I am the singer the songwriter your sacrificial lamb Your eyes and ears the place in where you stand Listen to the timbales beating como tu corazon Tengo cora pa mi barrio y tu tambien This is mi sangre the life blood of our past This is for my family and all my friends I can sing a song about our past and how we got here and how we will last Can you feel the rhythm? It surges thru ,my fingers into my pen for this I am the writer, el escritor yo soy el cantante writing this for you to sing and listen to

join me in dancing to this song I am the writer. Callente como un ligthel.

Viva! I live life to the fullest /before I die meeting death with bullets/or anything else that they pull with/ like diabetes /or Disease to defeat me/ it could be anything but Im still living my dream/ fresh like cool whip/ these are the cool hits/ of a man well respected and never checked with./ laid down in each session/ so stayed underground to mention/ beats in suspension and rhymes in transcending mention. Wait until the bomb commences/ while others are jumping fences/too many offenses/ for the lost and defenseless but they move around like chess pieces / Ill destroy your wrecked thesis/ with lyrical telekinesis and the freak with/ coke bottle glasses/ filled half full / just to fool the masses/ Stuck to this game like molasses. Only to get your tags filled with hashes/ I check sum/ emcees get it like redrum/ I just wanna make your head drum/bump to this beat while I made a bread run. I got you asking Who am I? Too many questions left to U and I. While I fool the sky/ Into believing all of your thoughts are dry/ Oh My/ Emcee and Dj til I die/ One of kind with wrought rhymes and stories of good and bad times/ but still have fun with the lines/ lived traveling and most unraveling through the things Ive seen or choose not to see/ but hey thats still me/ On this crazy path of lazy math/ just to get by/ Never known the real reason that I get high. One of the times, Ill reveal why/ But until now I didnt believe I could try/ But by and by/ Ive just watched the years fly/ on the promotion been shy/while some are on the pharcyde passing me by. Dig samples from old records and breaks/ Do what it takes with out selling my soul. And Continue to get this shit on a roll/and spit for a whole/ Minute or two. Till Im red or blue in the face/ running this race/ all over the place/ no grace just pure taste/ but still talent never goes to waste/but whats a dream if its never chased?

Young Bosnia South Slav do it for my people Bosnian genocide no one is equal North Slav land of the poles Mexican man land of holes Krina Krina Sbrina Ya The land of south slav Raw These banks are robbing ya Take you down like Yugoslavia 6 republics and I love it Not Soviet times The Spuntnik rymes Communist grinds Socalistsa just fine Ze god is not de vine Im mine No mime Im fine like the stupid border line Im high and dried in time. These are just fake ethnic lines Brought for those who want to own you. The economic system bones you and finds you alone too. Dividing six republics into six cash cows, each more indebted than the last World War 2 isnt over learn your past/

These eyes are clear These eyes are clear as my mind follows the right path to home Hallowed are the halls deep of an untrained eye I can't let my senses deceive me My clarity is at stake for those who know me know I strive to be the best For my weary eyes they do not rest. Walk with me so I can show you the tempting fruits to pick from the garden of eden As we see the future in our own eyes, I sit with you together hand and hand Feet to feet eye to eye these eyes will not lie. As I look deep I can see a thousand souls smiling and lighting You are the light in which makes my eyes see the beauty, the war I never won fighting These eyes are a window, the key to your soul These dark brown deep sensual eyes can touch your soul Make you feel like you aren't alone Like you are loved and feel like you are home Deep in to the pupils of a poets gleam As we embrace you we look into each others eyes living a dream The simplicity of form nothing is really lost when you see the world through my eyes Nothing is ever dark only the pupils of the sun on a new rise For my actions cannot speak for what my eyes may tell you dawned on a life The person that holds you to adjust the vision to tell you I can be the man you want me to But I would rather have you stare deeply in to my eyes and look to see yourself The beauty that no one could hide I used to be afraid, used to be shy , used to have no pride Until I saw your eyes Clarity in motion for the sun will rise and we will have this day for guise When you see my clear eyes.. They used to be red and sad all the time For I could not look into my own to see what I've left behind I have no love for those that can't love themselves and I was one of those who always felt before I looked into myself and like you all I could do was melt away from the pain of judging eyes Time has a way of loving reprise for the beauty that lies in your eyes.

Things I should have done Many paths twist and turn crossing and changing I could have been dead or I could have made the wrong turn Thinking is never just something you do with your brain.. Sometimes my gut tells me what to do.. Where to go and how to avoid trouble. Who do trust because I can't trust no man or woman for that matter falling off the ladder If I would have stayed I would have been one of them. Lifeless or locked a ways like an old dress never to see the light of day. If I would have stayed with her I would have been unhappy hating myself for not following my dreams If I would have been their friends I would have not been myself and life would have taken the worst turn of all. If I would have went with you I would be in a coffin too. If I would have loved you a bit more I would have ruined my chance at a new beginning and new friends that make me happy.. If I would have went to class I would have been caught in the crossfire If I would have stayed that night I would have gotten hurt or hurt someone The road gets forged like metals from the mighty vulcan and Hermes to send it fast If I was you I wouldn't have strayed off my path.. I would have listened to what was bad.. If I wouldnt have met you I never would have found the way to love myself and love you more If I would have just gone with the flow my friends would be dead If I wouldnt have talked my brother out of suicide he would have done it then you would to have buried us both. If you wouldnt have talked to me I would have just to let go Things we could have done different but it was all done so that we could learn to do things right next time and prevent bad shit from happening This is the path we all talk. We take it in our own way. No if's not buts just do's and donts I'm glad I made a difference by being indifferent and letting myself follow my own road Make the choice and just go.. If I could have stayed your friend I would have but you fell off into the deep end not wanting me around. Like my mother says you can't save them all But hey I tried... If you would have stayed with me maybe you would have been happy for once but hey.. I tried and tried and see that wasnt me If you could have heard me maybe you would still respect me.. The path twisted my gut has always been right Glad I didn't when I said I did.. Peace is all I ever wanted but it hard when your friends talk about having a piece and the pieces of a broken home they never picked up.. It's like we arent men but acting like beasts just to prove a point..

There is no point only..pain the point of a sword stabbing those who didn't care to listen to their instincts It's the only way you learn Through making mistakes...

This Freak show Called Life Sometimes Im pitiful Other times Im unforgettable Welcome to the show called the Up Lift Where I learned to gab before I met Blest, ID and Gift Bullying MCs with an open fist Of fusion and true grits Like papa said its all who you roll with So I roll with Gods that dont fit Im a Varsity Jukebox living with a junkie Im half of James Brown and George Clinton way too funky Welcome to the freak show Where Ill rock the mic for sho And if you dont know after this youll see Even rolling I put the E in Emcee Be and See all for free The road I limp down By the end of the day youd WANT get down Like gravitational pulls Cos Im living in the age of fools But such is life When god comes at you right So I gotta duck out by the end of the night

Before it becomes light cause Writers can die for what they write Right? Right! So back to the show ACT 1 Before you sit down and crack one Ima tell you how to act son says a dad Kicks back and smoke a fat one and poses and like weeds and roses so a man walks home to find he aint got one a dog got a bone and then he wants one like a girl who lost her chance or a cripple that wants to dance or the loser who wants to win for once a mother that left a baby in the bin to do herion and smoke a blunt or the good guy that goes to jail for a month or the man on the hunt for a nun who wants to sin and a rich kid who begs

and a poor kid who hustles a deformed kid who wants legs and little girl who wants muscles a gambler who drinks and a rambler who thinks a joker that cries and an immortal that dies in a portal in time This is the show in my rhyme and this is why The show must go on Before we die until the end of dawn cause Im not the man Im supposed to be Im a fool that killed everyone close to me So the sunrises On a dead train Of Lifes surprises And head changes And higher prices. So incredibly poor Dont do shit but Im still sore Over this that and the other

Peace to your mother Earth Full of water and dirt The stage of true worth The ground is from where she gave birth To the anti-critical Highly cynical in the war thats unwinnable From the time travelers to intervals But in the end still sometimes pitiful And always a show, unforgettable

This used to be Poetry We used to laugh like brothers and sisters and make jokes without getting hurt You took it to far with your hate for yourself that you began to hate everyone else It was once about the words and our emotions instead of drama queens and beef kings It used to be about friendship and loyalty, instead of lies and mistrust You hated yourself therefore you hated us I used to smile at the fact that we were once warriors all fighting for the same cause Now we are helpless kids fighting against each other. It used to be about the love of poetry and the words that made us closer. You started to act like the victim and threaten people and be the aggressive person we used to all despise. It used to be about fun times and family now it's about who better and who worse. Whose words meant more and invoked more emotion? It used to be about blood and connection instead of you hating yourself and bringing you and your issues to our sacred grounds. The poetry is like medicine made to wash away anguish and pain but you kept it there as a reminder to never get too close to you. You keep the wrongs I've done over my head but you can do no wrong. It used to be about dreams and love for man and woman. Now its just hate for the people that aren't like you and that are tired of suffering because of your problems you can't leave at home. It used to be fun.. to rhyme to rap to kick back and make up new ways to express old things but you lost that you gave it up for the anger you can't change and We are not to blame..

Throw Stones at me This is what it always was. No questions no answers just a because. Its how I feel about a subject No thoughts I have to collect. You can say what you think, It never changes my opinion Passed on and on thru selves and yourselves to be held. Throw stones, Make your judgment, inside you are no better than I For those that feel instead of look through their eyes The scared are different from the weak But how you always feel youll never speak So these thoughts I put on ink So that you can think. So that you can think you are better than me. Throw Stones at me. Release your pain to those dead before its all the same.

You Ive always regretted losing you. Ive always hated , Myself for being a dick to you. Ive always been wrong with you. I should have been myself Instead of scared Of being ripped from my home A day doesnt go by where I dont regret this Always thinking of you Knowing that you and I are connected And always will be Boy how I miss you Our laughter our kisses Our lives intertwined But you grew up and moved on And I stayed the same Damn this life Damn it cause you are no longer in it Damn the past I soon forgot And moved into dark alley ways of Thoughts of what could have been Never really was.

Your Mistakes "Be mindful of your thoughts" It's easier said than done. Watching your mouth never came easy. Watching your actions as they unfold can destroy your life blood if you are consumed by guilt of what you've done Simply saying "I didn't mean to" Never worked for me they just hit me harder on the inside or made me get well or shunned me for my ignorance To be oblivious. Know not what you do Or simple sayings and good intentions Only take you so far. So I ask myself How can I break this cycle How Can I smile again? Was I smiling before or lying to myself? What to do and what not to do has me asking why I even do it a good heart needs a good head

a good head needs a good soul So I watch as I make the same mistakes and question how to change them the answer is simply inside of discipline and way of finding how to cope with your mistakes the problems that you fight Alone, at the night to your own thoughts Victims of ourselves I say the old saying "Creator, Please save me from myself" While I wait by the fire for sun to rise. A new day is coming soon. Aho

Thrown Down to Your Level Life has a way of throwing curve balls I can't live in a house where no one respects me so I live in a place where nothing affects me while its a sin dropped like paralyzed grins My mouth is in the gutter next to the trash bin this is for the people that we forgot and the has beens I didn't know the talk this way could make things happen please understand I don't know what I mean I just know I have the means to use words to regret some leave wounds that I'll never forget Getting yelled at has always been the way they talk to me still jumping subjects like fences honorably They want to me to forgive but I can't let it go for I know what I did. How long can you throw salt on your wounds and realize your time is gone soon. This is the grave we dig while you've equated yourself to a swine or a pig this is life show respect by giving tobacco cigs Thrown down because I don't no the penalty and I don't think I will learn it this century This isn't a friend and the way life was thought of but I guess nowadays your thought to sell like a product Can you really be making the same mistakes over and if you weren't drunk you'd probably make them sober So now my talking is overrated and this choice I've made I've hated Can't turn back the past so I sit with my regrets and get creative Thinking to myself if I would have made it or lost the only soul I feel kindred with but only to get irritated with the decisions I make All because my tongue I hate or the sun it bakes down on the back of a mind thats lost its tracks Sometimes wondering if they'll cut me some slack and never understood why I never looked back so in the end I hold myself and the guilt to go pitch black and rue the day the water to the pail cracked leaving me speechless while users are sucking my blood like leeches while the contract of friendships and relationship are bleached with trying to escape to the island so I can find where the beach is..

The way we see it woke this morning to find out my life was a dream. Imagination is all I have left in our unvoiced manner of creation. To see the world through the eyes of another To send your thoughts to the printer for what you have created. A great man told me that perception is reality and each day is fading away Slipping through our finger tips like snakes running through the desert landscape looking for a home. Each day counts for something. Every moment has meaning. People make their own reality. I woke up this evening to find my life had been I a nightmare. Because I made it that way. Lost on this path of self defeat I never thought I could move on. I felt helpless by the monsters I had created. The doubt I felt and the way I cried to let the pain sooth itself. I woke up this afternoon to see myself in a great light To bleed like my brothers before and to toil in the fruits of their labors and creations Let the past teach us a lesson to start all over again. Never to harbor the hate of those who have wronged us when you are wrong unto yourself. I write these words as I speak them to show us that we can create our own destiny. I know time is against us. And love is merely a word such as hate is merely a word I can't let myself stop to imagine the feelings of regret for a universe that already spins without me For I am nothing...I am all that the ever will be. Each morning I thank the Kreator for that fact. The Fact of life. I thank the sun for the warmth it gives me like a woman's touch as I wake into the new day. I believe humans were meant to be creators and the power rests inside. The heart is a powerful gateway to things our logic will never understand. Our love is merely a spark in the movement of stars in which hold our futures and our traditions which will never die. Perception is the way our lives interact and view each other. For all those I have wronged I often forgive myself since I perceived I was doing right. I won't stop climbing this tree that leads to the heavens until I find the person or persons that will help me on my journey so that it can become our journey. I woke up last night proud of who I was. Proud of my people and how far we have survived. I woke up reborn proud of the friends I have and the lovers that have kept me warm. This is the way we see it the secret to our lives lies in our hands. I won't stop until I'm happy. I won't finish until I'm gone. My energy is no longer love lost and regret, but a celebration of knowledge and the hopeful truth of finding the right way to continue.. The way I see it. Life is too short to worry about the past and the future. I only have now. I only have you for this fleeting moment. After I'm done writing this you will be gone and so will I. The way we see it.. the new beginning to a great future

Doktor Music Take this to mind as I rip through time don't need drugs to help my spine Rhymes are medicine and help for kind So play me that drum beat as I hold my ear to the street Doctor music here's you prescription I live life with out no convictions with out the written Thought I was all about medication instead its music and revelations to not run or hide Picking up the pieces of a broken pride Now I catch the doctors waves like low tide off the coast of most those who wrote will live in boats and to ride with the music like a better drug and a way to live through it The question "Do you like jazz"? Yeah man the same way I rock the tables like Taz spinning and grinning winning and red like Lenin when it comes to expressing myself Doctor Doctor I need no drugs just music for my health So stop the , stop the numb feeling I want to feel the feelings I felt Pain and self destruction make me a better man to learn from others corruption Doctor music play me a tune burning the fingers, on your Ipod, Mp3 or Zune I'm like Jesus I'll be dead but come back real soon Don't need no shrooms or smoked out rooms to rep the drums of doom and all the dope MF's when the Len step like pen techs and rent styles like rent X gimme a diagnosis to express myself to my opus the path I took in the past was hopeless so doctor play me a jam

so I can grow to be a better man.

Down Tempo a word can make a sentence and change your life A phrase can turn get twisted and do you right. The beat of the drum kept me going. As they say in the ancients keep learning to keep knowing A word can say alot if you say nothing at all. Emotions are fire to break down the wall. The way life twist and turns until we are all dead and our children learns. What we did was golden with no metal Strong as a stone as delicate as a pedal. This is the balance to be kept As the world wakes up from being slept A word means nothing unless your intention is well meaning. Then you lose the definition under the spell dreaming. Of what you should have said. Trust me it won't matter when youre dead. They are just words as the dumb say. But to me they are weapons for what I have to say and Life ain't a game so I don't play I just try to use my words wisely everyday. I know I've talked too much but said too little This ain't no question to life or a riddle My mother always said to watch what I say. As a kid I didn't know that words had there way. Of inciting feelings.. time wasted on shady dealings or another fish that needs reeling or a broken soul that needs healing. No kind words never heard many. So I keep my words Phat instead of skinny I know I talk too much cause I didn't that words were like hands needing that touch. So they tell me to choose my words wisely I can't do that otherwise you try to think of me highly I need to let down on the down tempo to ride the words like all mental.....

Feels so good to be so wrong Am I letting you win? ignorance is a sin for those who are stupid threw their brains in a trash bin. You are a has been what happened? for those that stopped there knowledge and told the overstated like madden. My brain hurts trying to keep up Not thinking correctly so watch the pen heat up It feels so good to judge others don't it? Even though when you make a mistake you are too pussy to own it. Ha ha... got you now thinking your better than I No bitch.. damned is a lie that is based on a negativity lie asking why? I may not be all here right now but I know when I'm at fault You have no logic nor reason or emotion locked like a diamond vault I'm just as prone to make a mistake and make the fake shake like sake and bake for snakes that take and flakes that hate. I'm not the smartest I'm not the best nor do I claim to run to the test. Stop me if I'm wrong hey I will admit it But you...never let me forget it It feels so good not to be like you. If I was in the same room as you I'd strike you be so sick with words with no sugar diabetes style like type 2 I've always made mistakes which make good things come from bad this is the reason I'm living the life that makes others sad Sometimes I wonder if you even know who you are I'm wrong like always but still I go way too far. Up and down somewhere between my place is different while you are a machine It's not my fault you've burned all your bridges and can't find an escape The bride of nobody goes for pride neither spit raps against me I'm hot like ether for you I burn cedar and turn the shirtless man in to a believer I will succeed I know I can I bend back and forth like the rubber man moving to the groove of life which you never like so I strike like mike on the mic, fight on fight .breaking through the speed of sound and light I got mad strength and god like might and I can admit when I'm wrong or right.

Flower Girls My visual imagery has went in to the contingency where I set my life up to infinity saw the lights to divinity the sky has cried its last tear and i have drank my last beer sitting here in my own fear hoped that I could see clear but nothing comes to mind just blankness with in the lines of the divine with fine wine given to cloud the mind good night scorpio dream of the day that your working hoes the let go of those how suppose that your too low for your own good just to let you know that you can't go on like a fools even punks don't get schooled but you've been fooled more than once for dumb cunts and phat blunts that you only hit once had to give to the runts don't worry its that time of the month where you wear that hat labeled dunce you just got the be more than a man more like a machine, with night wronged dreams splitting stems through the seams because nothing is what it seems I don't know shit just rice and beans like ice and greens for the fight to stay keen while I lean on forethought's of Morning glory but that's only half the damn story with a verbal orgy with the part let gory how many times have we mentally fucked? she' like a black hole everything she touched she sucked from the mpc to my old ford truck leave me, leave me but you need me, need me

to see hibbie gibbees form torches like tiki weird like freaky, even the hottest chick couldn't defeat me and you know this I will deflower the lotus with out a person who can notice the flow with pain as the center of aerobics the strings of my guitar hit hard like metals as I deflower the Honeysuckles pedals cause she's loose enough to let you and not wonder on how to stress you the Sunflower is the hardest one to grab cause they blind you with the love you had for nature making other girls haters let not talk about it now talk about it later because Im the one that's greater than your paper mache flowers each girl had her own powers even though after time her juices went sour banged my Lotus for six hours and Im the son of a Rose so that means I come from along line of playing hoes Mary was the best one when she grows in a half stance and a Bgirl pose like Posey she was my homie did her back then when she didn't want to know me but I still let her blow me then there was Clover, I did her over and over she wanted me to own her until we were sober and realized what we had done picking of her pedals with the light of the sun just let the water run for fun as we bathed together she lied when she said she couldn't get wetter and then there was Dandy lion who I banged so hard till I saw zion I pulled her leaves until she started dying the next day she was crying to do it again but she wanted to bring her friend Cherry blossom and this bitch was awesome touched her pedals until the both dropped em the double teamed me it i could stop them Orlando was right all you had to talk to the first

the you could touch them and lift up her skirt make them squirt while you work plowing your field they don't want you but some one less real who make them feel on top then when your done put them back in their pot Go find Poppy because she can make it pop until its sloppy, dumb girl thinks she got me but she just another flower made her knees collapse like the twin towers then there was lilly who let me pluck her silly and then scarlet that red little harlot that could feel me,deep inside of her natural pride Like little Lantana who I deflowered and popped like a tropicana she was nice and sticky kind young and kind of picky but she said baby prick me.. so of course i did the deed went home and hit the weed and planted my seed now the scorpio has been freed... to plow and live the tao didn't realize until now and this was how.

Forward Moving I move forward as I step back realize the facts and instead of think I just act. I move back and forth until I find balance but people give up cause the see the challenge nothing will stop me. My goals and dreams the world of words it seems the world is funny with the broken seams. Some people get scared of their own shadow the rest hid from themselves and their battles Poetry is struggle, strange indeed as my thoughts become real for the world to breath So move forward. To make some stride This is the real This is time to move forward and have mass appeal

Heavens and Sunrise Skies They say heaven is in the skies It's down her on earth in each of your eyes Don't listen to the lies of false prophets and fake snake oil sellers my deepest thoughts are digging deeper in to Celestine as we see the sun rise and fall but none holds the dream. The heavens are here on earth it's how you see it If you want hell thats the way it well be with these times they say are changing but if you ask the gods they will say nothing It's true that heaven is on earth find it for yourself its better to see it and take the path left unguarded walk down there and see it yourself be you and let the sunrise help the colors of time never fade its only your outlook sour like bad lemonade I have reasons for reliving my dreams because here on earth everything is what it means its up to you to interpret the real and heaven is no place but what you feel So rise like the sun and fall again it's ok when you have friends and high sunrises and more life to live Heaven is here for you to give

To live in Sand I think of all the times I could have moved away From the land of the sun where cactus is king and roadrunners own the streets Dust and dirt is all you see but I see home I see green chile, and mesquite I smell herbs and spices grown in Grandma's garden I know what its like to live in the sand along the trails once roamed by explorers and trails for trade and travel. I think of the fading lights the big sky that is a painting where the moutains look like they are fake because the color is too much You may hate this place but its MY home They may cross into lands and leave unaccepting of the true meaning The reason that I'm here To live in the sand away from the darkness and into the land of my people.

To live I live in a world of broken promises, false hopes and shattered dreams. I live in a world where sweetness is seen as weakness and no one trusts each other I see a place of fear and not wanting to change. Where men are afraid, and women are scarred because the damage has been done. I live in a world of hopelessness and hopeful conversations. I live in a place of hedonism and no romance And a place where many just try to get by. You may judge me, never understand me and call me names You may say Im simple But Im simply living I live in a world of secrets and hiding Where no one wants to take responsibility for their mistakes I live in a world of curves and turns Ups and downs. Where love is never certain. I live in a world where living is a hazard and dying is concrete I live in a place where men fight and hide their truest feelings Where women would rather stay unhappy then to better themselves I live in a world Merely living is an option I live Simply to say I live This life may not be perfect but its my life

To live

In the lions Den

Patriarchal heresy, Not much in the world of lions To be a tiger. A Monkey chases his tail looking for unattainable goals Lost in a world of other people voices Its a life is only lived cause of others choices I want to see beyond the dotted lines Beyond the boundaries of guilt Beyond the labels of love The labor of losing all that you held once in your arms Only for the butterfly to fly away into anothers arms and into forgotten spaces in your mind. The hypocrisy of being only second best for now. A wish, a shot down the well, like my lucky pennies I lost Maybe even a chance , a gamble a wait for what Ive always desired. Tired of saying one day One day Ill have what he has. One day Ill be them One day In a world where they die and the others eat the remains Where other just take ruthlessly How can a Buddha survive among animals? Only wanting a person/place to rest his head A jubilee of stars

Fallen like empires Like tears down a one way No place like home

Inside The Mind inside the minds the eyes that Ive seen. All the times where you've been hiding on the side. Inside deeply where I look to find you inside the minds of those no willing to see. I'm not the one to blame for how things go. I'm just living to make it by. I can't stop the future, for it's a wave destroying us all. Inside the souls of those you think are there are invisible, unseen. Never thought of as anything more than obsessive gestures and creatures with out hearts. To be a human with folly as our plans. Marginalized under the sun. Whether the weather is good our bad. I will tend the fields for my ancestors. To seek inside what I never found out side its true glory.

To My This is to my jedi's with clean thoughts this is to mother earth and grandfather rock the way I rock like fault lines and drop boulders like vault times in a bank robbery in the force of movement, I move properly to use energy for the force and feel and those that love all those that are real easier said than done props to all my stars and suns drop down to the ground like duck and run Burn candles for my ancestors pray for peace but do something about it all the better Just so you know I feel your pain I feel the love and all thats changed but we are still the one and still them same miracles the creator's light got me working overtime like clerical overnight just thinking about the ones with over sight of the medicine and thoughts that came from a single rock this is my way to say you'll never be forgot

Too Deep To See Deep behind the walls I see pain Held in contempt for quarters of a life scarred or a person beginning to understand Deep behind your eyes I see love an emotion a thought letting it run through as souls meet on the other side Deeper into thought I see a past that isn't mine Copper and Silver never showed love yet you were there clear and serine the life I had before I came here and possessions mean nothing to a bard as a lute is merely a weapon to fight of lonely thoughts as you battle your heart From top to bottom we have fallen beyond your reach only to become once again

the rise to glory and the waves of reprisals the road to a long ending place flows into the rocks But does it every really stop there?

Insomnia and Reasoning It sucks to see the world sleeping While you are up all night freaking Fuck all of you that would think of me as a weakling cause my kindness will destroy you like an inkling They take advantage So called friends Losers with smiles, I'm not them They bring you down just to get by or come over just to get high As for females they've judged me since pigtails and as for males in my youth I crushed their faces with lunch pails I don't finish last but first Cross me over and get my worst My conscience is clean No secrets to hide no what I mean? When I smile I don't fake it when I want something I take it I'm a true diamond in the rough while you and your friends act too tough If you see it my way then walk like me or if you want to argue, Fuck Me or Fight Me After all you may see the right me and see why I stay up thinking nightly

Out of the twisted metal and ashes This poem is dedicated to the people that lost their lives on 9-11-01 One morning. After the rain from the day before. it all changed To all the families that lost their love ones my heart will always be with you White smoke twisted ashes, sirens blaring a building destroyed, fires and bombs Stories of heroes stories of sadness and mystery. The city scarred on the inside and out, not knowing who to trust. The place where the immigrants came to start a new life became a hotbed of witch hunts and fear of our neighbors. Metal birds used as bombs. The day we all stood in silence , weeping to ourselves. whether you believe it was a government conspiracy to kill its own people or religious fanatics killing innocents in the name of the most high We can all agree that the pain will never go away. No theories can change the truth. We were attacked without ever seeing it coming/ When it happened so many lives were lost, so many people were scared so many died, so many dreams never lived, so many living became dead. In the flames and smoke the story of survival, friendship and hope and the story of loss, stories of the missing. a government turned against its people was now United . When did the war on Terrorism become the war on Americans? In the aftermath many asked that question as they were search without probable cause and help with out due process. To be brown in America at that time

was to be Jewish is in Nazi Germany, Hiding your star in the form of a turban. Many died in the after math of fear, many feared death. I, myself couldnt get on a plane without being strip searched The day America was united.. under fear and ignorance, under our beliefs and hopes to stay human. So many of my friends died that day Yet, it was overshadowed by fear of the unknown what was to come next.. Out of the ashes came hate Came Love, came perseverance love thy neighbor but they were giving death threats to mosques all over the US we blamed our problems on people in caves and a guy we tried to kill ten years before not looking at the problems in our own society Corruption and Greed, Innocence Innocent in the fact that terror happens all over the world Just hadnt happened in the US Hate and Contempt for those that criticized our actions following the attack the true American ideals were put to the test. They ask me where I was on 9-11 I was crying for my uncle that almost went there that day but some how decided to go later so he missed out on dying I was crying for my friend Tavo

I was crying for my friend who died in that building and they never found his remains I was crying for all the Arabs, Indians, Shiks and Mexicans and brown skinned people that got harassed out of fear. all the mosques that were broken in to and destroyed True American Ignorance, another crusade to send us to. instead of Uniting we divided and then forgot and terrorism became sidelined to other things But what about those americans swept away to Guantanmo bay? all those that were tortured and killed because they looked Arab or Islamic How could I forget all the pain? How could you forget your duty to those people that died that day to help make a change. And not Bush's stupid color system but a system of checks and balances a system governed by the people not just the rich elite that could even save its own people in Katrina yet we could help destroy Iraq and rebuild it with American contracts So please remember those who should are still in that twisted metal and ash Dont let them die Save America! Change yourself first and

Don't strike because you've been struck

Paint Work thru the minds of many Deeply ingrained in the thoughts of us all I can't use the words. the words are used against us. Walls are broken and communication is down as I dig deeper inside. You may feel that I'm rare. But I really am the last of my kind. Waiting for the dust to blow over. wanted in life and death. Only to explain the misgivings of an unforgiving right to exist next to you. A foreign concept yet in abstract it's all we know. The meanings run thin as I develop a sense to control what I can. When I can. The rest may it be called art for the canvas is what you make it Yours.

Turn Away When I woke up I saw who I was and I didn't like it I finally saw what was wrong.. How could I move on? If I stayed here I would be killing myself so I moved on to a better light I turned away from the past, present and future to show that I can survive Not many people can think about how to turn the other way Can people really change? Or is it true what they say, nothing ever really matters Having a time to reflect has given me times to look thru the glass broken and shattered it never really changes.. But still a new definition can be found.. Have words lost all emotion in a world that cannot build attraction? Finally... freedom is not a thought but a reality as my brother die alone So, I turned away from the ugliness that was once our people I turned away from the mistakes that I couldn't forget People are shallow and life is simple.. if you let it be Things don't change only if you cannot live for the time you have left No one understands me therefore I cannot tell you where you are I saw your pain and made it my own a mistake buried in a sacrifice To hold my tongue is to hold my soul in your hand So I turned away from your dream your thoughts of me that you'll never get to see your hopes that you can live while I step up the ladder and continue to find a way Turn away...to a new life that is set before my eyes But you will never understand... I cannot find those that can handle it so I walk among myself to find those lives that are blessed a benevolent ending to a life that begun in violence and rage.. Turn away from it all for it has only stopped who you will become

Twisted History is twisted like the screw inside your head Twisted like in the name of god like unsealing those who are dead Twisted like a snake that I followed out of the tipi Twisted like your textbook written so cheaply We were once warriors, Shamans, Explorers and Medicine men We still are.. but they twisted it.. once again Twisted like the knife inside you moving around Twisted like those who act white when they are really brown Or those who are up when they are really down Those who broke histories to never have them written down Our Mothers knew each other, and brothers helped each other even if they were from another.. Oral tradition made quick like drums and gourds jam to the beat Listen! Twisted like my people and your people got forgotten about moved around and in this great land kicked the fuck out.. Twisted. twisting like the stories they tell you saying we were weak and just gave up When we reached near extinction or just said " I've had enough" Twisted like brown and black and red could never build a civilization larger and more advanced than 30 euro nations Man to me theirs is so much twisted b.s its like when you see stress or think of the west you think of cowboys instead of the best.. Nations powered by love commerce and trade Y'all got it twisted like the Marquis de Sade Twisted like bullets that hit the first man running from greedy plans of world takeover twisted like they gave history a make over Twisted...it truly is.. another lie to tell to your kids..

Paranoid breaking points I have changed This new generation I don't understand I feel pressured to be something I'm not when I'm something special I don't know why these people are paranoid because I've lived in paper houses with paper tigers drinking sake and tea Away from my cancer and away from those that hurt me I hid away stashed in the corner of my mind I can see my future burnt like Korean bbq and Osaka sweet rolls I feel so bad like I'm going to break as if lil slugger was going to beat me with his Shoen Bat To be the torn wings of a butterfly to be relived thru anothers beauty As men we all feel the void of pain walking paths too big for daddy's shoes As Women they feel alone in the darkest places Torn between whats right and wrong When he comes for you with his bat raised you may be relived thru some one's elses incarnation Just being number one is not good enough your mind can play tricks like tic tac toe I don't feel any more just connected like an artists who can't design a new thing Break alone sober My paranoid points of agency between minds and blank imaginations our greatest fears on paper made to scare us Everyone has their reasons for breaking

Peaches Met you when we were seeds, never thought youd grow up to give me what I need. This is the sweetest fruit indeed her nectar only those worthy to feed Saw you ripen off that tree. As a wanders the groves hoping youd see. Time got fuzzy, hairy and lovely. Never below or above me Always said she loved me. Never bruised or ugly. Youre nice and ripe Youre just my type Must have your desert every night Never fuss or fight Just keep the poetry tight And she stayed growing As I keep her sweet juices flowing Ah your lovely shape I admire from seed to root But I like your taste and how youre the sweetest fruit.

Missing the Bar I'm tired of missing the bar. Not the one you drink at but the one for self improvement started young but made a movement and lost movement, because of hanging with Rude boys and truants I'm tired of coming to close or never at all tired of broken windows, foodless nights and not having a car. I'm tired of saving the world as it screws me over, asking myself for why my hand slipped I'm tired of the support when the words of a poet get lost in translation Tired of missing the cues for transformation I am the most for creation These creatures and low lives with old hides, too stupid to care to much pride I'm tired of missing the bar to the next jump I'm tired of it not being wednesday and I still get humped. Tired of praying that you'll find a way Riding on my coat tail like a bad dream wanting you to go away. Simply tired of missing my cue. Told never to speak these words to you. My eyes cannot be slammed shut as I learn the world and the definition of what. Tired of missing the bar so I can drop sixteen eventhough I go too far and haunt dreams of those that seen I've missed this bar to much to save face to you its a cruise. to me its a race find your place among the stones as I've missed the bar all on my own.

Two Thumbs down Run the run like a dumb clown They want me to act I give em two thumbs down Free is the man that makes his choice not to sell out our voice just for bread give me crumbs and the rest Repping for the island and the southwest showing you that life is a giant test and you're a failure if you take whats left Saying I can make your dreams come true and leave this town. I can leave this sound its all I have to make me stand out my soul is burning cause I'm broke but not looking for a hand out Two thumbs down to like I hold to the ancestors of the crown that made you act like your a clown Do it for yourself if theres no one around Keep the speed dragging as I fly like an Reo speed-wagon or kick to my classics like electric light I can be your brightest star and electrify your night All cause you gave up and don't want to fight Tired of making excuses to the non conclusive the abusive and the stupid this is a last chance for death and life's last dance and the crazy person fast rants but it's true I don't do it for any of you

Undocumented Blues Blank. that's what my mind went I play the sax Jazz it's as American as I should be Bertha sings hard as play the blues cause of some stupid line that divides us and them. Out of high school can't find a job Not a citizen just another Mexican to uncle Sam He's not my uncle he's a liar. My uncle who be Tio Samuel and would have 4 kids with five different girls Can't go to college cause I'm not from here. But I grew up here. They tell me to go home I don't know where home is They tell me that illegals shouldn't be here. Then tell me why are you here. I play the sax the only girl in my life I play the blues not knowing if it will be alright. I'm just a kid trying to live the American dream. Riding high and staying low My fingers slipped the notes aren't coming out loud enough. My fingers make the sax wail, and scream each time I touch her. They say it will be all right. but I can only hide in the light Living in a society that can't accept me but I can accept them Without papers who can I turn to. My parents are scared but proud I've made it this far. Screaming my soul on a sax crying tears of all those that were raised here I tell those minute men assholes I wasn't born here I KNOW but I'm as American as the jazz I play Hell, I'm more American than you. Who cleans your yard and fights your wars. Takes your blame when your economy fucks up! Who takes care of your children and does your chores Yet, I'm still without papers just a kid trying to survive

Upon a House of Glass Here upon a house of glass A public view into the inside of my insides. All judgments aside, For I know my own mistakes. And the my demons, I live with them very well along a road of shattered glass and false promises, in a lake of fire where men lie to themselves , and false prophets care more about profit than your mortal soul and sins.. To pander upon lust. Knives in your back down the hall. Oh how we have so many wants and needs. Upon the sands of time and the glares of public figures in galleries where gods are merely figures made out of a distorted self image of what we wish we were. Those opposite of us where thought to be creatures instead of humans breathing with a soul Merely an object for your amusement. A private thought for a public place staring down the cold plexiglass window looking for that escape out. To freedom that I've never felt away from their spiteful, hateful, lying eyes

Upon the Crossroads On the mountain where wise men sit Smoking their pipes and dreaming of future situations I've stopped moving on the roads ahead I sit down only to rest for my back isn't at all what it used to be Upon a glorified road of blissful thoughts Climbing to my death upon the mountain where I can start again fresh Reborn as an Eagle flying high No longer looking down at the ground No longer hold my head in shame Never spaced out in a world that is less than spaced out. Writing is my muse upon the way climbing to my life When I reach the top Where will I go from there? what will I see upon into the depts of the unknown Unwilling, to bring along all the baggage to carry it wouldn't help me it only holds me back. Up high on the rocky cliffs where many never dare to go. My elders looking in awe as I walk to the top to pray.

I scream aloud thinking that all can hear me I see the open view of a valley that my ancestor made their home. This canyon... This canyon is one of the biggest mysteries this place is magical in it's foresight Chards of Pottery Clay earth. So I climb to the top to prepare my sacrifice and sing to the sun which has been good to me

Mistakes Sometimes I sit here with my pen and my notebook wondering about all the mistakes I made. Is it because we are prone to make them as humans? Or are they learning experiences not to do them again. The answer lies with the person. Mistakes are common and some of the greatest things were made from the biggest mistakes. But I still wonder about my friends I've lost and people I loved and how I somehow ruined our friendships. Maybe it's my way of showing myself that some people were just meant to let go.. Others are meant to rebuild and become stronger. What I'm saying is maybe life itself is one giant mistake. We are what came out of it. I can't lament or remake what has already been done.. so I move on to make more mistakes. I feel that this is the best way to handle it. Mistakes happen in everyday life and sometimes they are the reason your path down life takes and unexpected turn for the better or worse..

Splash Splayed out. Sitting on my brain You never take no for an answer. Dont you know that you drive me crazy? Its like something Ill never grip Im on to your games, pick lines, compliments and false interest. I see where you really want me. Why cant you just be yourself? I can never grasp where you want to be And what you want from me. Legs spread Youd think that would make me happy But youve lost all hope And feeling inside

Mu Style ( The Art Of Nothing) Our stars are crossed, but it doesn't mean we are lost. paid by the devil so my soul can ferry across the river of the dead. Souls still living in souls instead Down the river where there was once blood shed Plants grow new era is upon us just so you know get with the times and hit with the flow My style is a variation like those that practice their arts of creation no hesitation to rebuild the fields and plant again make an enemy your friend if you have the time which doesnt exist this is why the universe is mist like fog props to all the creatures my humans and dogs down to the insects to the micro where they lay the rest. I made a new sound on the earth today let me show you how to feel this way your style

my style all godlike woman and child like soulful and wild.

Verbal abuse I'm tore up on the inside your words are like bullets kicking me around I'd be lying if I said I don't have scars I have a good memory so its hard to forget The words you used to describe me I feel like your breathing down my neck and no matter what I do its not as good as it should be Ironic songs and sonnets leaving me to question why you even bothered The words hold weight in lead never in gold as I try to justify my existence turning water to wine and then words to rhyme alas I've been too forward brash and cocky for a family that has said it all Friends are like water yet I'm in this drought The desert is a harsh lover leaving sand in your eyes But your words hurt worst The fact of the sacrifices is there was no ceremony in it so I could not partake, the words you used to describe me hold very little weight as loving as a mothers touch I received a slap in the face two in fact.. no reason to overact just they fact that some lacked tact and the words you've said I've heard it is the worst form of abuse to describe but truly on the samurai's path I have no master, follow no code and have no retainers only finding a home within a home or finding out that my best interests can hurt with words I feel broke not because of you but because of how much words can kill a dream a thought and a human being Alas words turn my dream into a nightmare as my life was unraveled by something I couldn't control and even though I could say I was sorry you never like those words anyway so I felt it wasn't miscarrying words like they should have upon myself I choose not to care anymore about your words They hurt an already dying struggle that let the world see My words...My Words

Waste You may judge my life and my tastes. You man not like who I am or what I aim to be. You may think I'm idling away. Drowing in a sea of fake friends, and lovers. These mellow beats rock my soul You may think you are smarter and you know more. It's ok to make mistakes. I am what I am. Different so very different You may think I'm sad, but in reality I am here. Being all I can. You may waste your life on a bubble of security and I on the idea of self service where the penalty is very strong. Allocated in ugliness that I've seen in all. You may think I'm sad but you don't know who I am. You are too afraid to find out. What we are. You may think I'm a loser.

But I've already won. You may think I'm dying but I'm really just starting to live. You may think you can see me but you are blind. Waste is just your feelings wasted on those thing untouchable and not ready to ripen.

My Shooting Star When I met you. You were a bright star. You were young and had a whole galaxy to light up. Now I sit years later waiting for the star to return. You came. I saw you were no longer bright your luster was lost in years of pain. You changed Your scars are apparent You're energy is waning to love a star that fades away oh my shooting star How youve come and gone. Only around when you need me and place in the sky for you to rest. Where others have kicked you out of the heavens and Ive been there to catch you with open arms. Shooting far into a foreign sky. Away from those you love. Hidden in the sky.

Thump Thump.. that the sound of me hitting the floor like I'm living in a world demanding always wanting more My heart broken into small pieces moving like trains wanting nothing more than a small change for the things I can't provide I wish I could hide myself in the shadows the people are like cattle as I fight myself only to lose the battle Time...to stop breathing and stop beating for time is leaving and my heart is losing and time is fleeting My head is where my heart should be but I should be who I should be instead of just me. My heart is flowing not like the words I'm flowing but the world that's going to a better place If my heart stopped beating may it lead me to save face My heart was given to a select few some had hearts too while others just threw them away Stone cold summers led in disarray.. this ain't the way.. no this and the way my heart isn't supposed to be It beats like beats from those who keep their hearts locked away Cold hearts too many people got them like apples that are rotten People are like time soon to be forgotten while the ones with good hearts aren't very often My heart broken and banged up bandaged and rang up for the price of 19.99, don't have money that's fine run my heart through your credit line and donate to the jar for a piece of mind I'm really hurting cause I'm blind Blind to the way my brain and heart communicate and run vicariously through this wait to find a mate and eat all that is on my plate it bumps like I jump for those that are blunt and switch like the time of the month my heart is prey for the hunt when I see something I like it pulls a stunt tired of letting go of what I believe in my heart was made to follow by those who hate heads are hollow hard enough for you to find a heart to swallow

can you break something that is already broken can you speak a word that is already spoken or can you lose your heart like planes smoking and find a maneuver like you was choking? If my ticker keeps up like this I will be dead on the organ donors list waiting for a good heart I've found a few went a round or two to kindly do what I need to do.. I'm just beat... beat like the heart that never gave up even thought the place I love is the way to luck while you feel heartless and stuck.. Heart without emotions just pumping blood those who don't doubt not having a heart is like not having love hard for you to survive in a up down ride of too much heart and no pride the best part of heart is the the word has art but no art in breaking it down with Thou art a sound unless those that don't have one make others frown or follow their hearts like clowns.. A clown.. listen to the sound of a heart beat thump.. stop.. bump drop touch your heart if you got one and a double fuck those that ain't got one they aren't awesome because they stuck in one place as not to blossom My heart is irregular so check your history if you don't know misery than your heart is working just fine those that claim no to have one are scum sold it to the devil for an oil drum My heart is not for sale but stabbed an impaled inside of my chest..working ..without fail with out all this bullshit that you people surround yourself with You have no heart? alright then that's a start..

Welcome to New Mexico Welcome to the land of enchantment. Where I'm from Donde naci where two languages can either hold you back or become one In the land of the Sun Cold Desert nights The balance between tradicion and moderno All the colors in the sky Yellow Green, Red, Blue, and of course brown My favorite color from here. Besides the Purple moutains and White Sands Bienviendos a Nuevo Mexico Mi tierra encantada Lleno de magica y una cielo lleno de color y las nubes bien blancos The pinon trees, the salt cedar, yucca and chile symbols of my home land Home to many mi casa es su casa es el dicho pero no el caso To you this is a painting

This isnt a post card. How can you see otherwise? This is home to all the peoples of the past 23 nations strong including mine We arent like the Mexicans you see on T.V We are New Mexicans U.S.A used to be mexico back in the day we are relaxed, chill gente, but you say we are slow , simple and under educated This desert will teach you more than any college These mountains will give you more than your degree These sands will penitrate your soul The 3 crosses My city a symbol of death Meztizo, Gringo and and Indio one for each All connected to the land The organs are my organs Mi cuerpo es parte de nuestra tierra These people.

Those people they always come to the southwest Thinking they know whats best

What do you know? Most people when they have a bad day they drink Some Smoke their problems away Others get mad and bottle it up inside I write poetry... When I'm sad or down in the dumps.. I write my thoughts I write how I feel so I don't have to feel like that anymore I analyze what goes wrong as it happens or has happened by writing When I feel like I can't take it anymore and I want to pull the trigger and end the life my mother gave me I write because I know others have it worse I write cause when I write it helps the pain heal I write because it's my right I thought I could put my thoughts here and people would read them and know what I mean but they don't It's true what Socrates said " The many know nothing" I feel like I can't even be myself without being critiqued and put down for the way I feel I know I got problems I know what I need to do I'm getting there and I thought I could trust you I'm wrong to have thought that I could let others influence my work This is my life Poetry is my drug its everything I got and more than you'll ever have Everyone has the best intentions and good advice like grow up "be yourself' and other bullshit but they don't know who I really am and how I work I wrote my pain away so I don't have to suffer and when I suffer it's my fault.. Yes I look at past closed doors but I learned that those doors don't need to be opened like an addict I regressed talked about it to myself and now I feel the best thing is to do is to Write So what if you don't get it or things are not going well for me I'll figure it out if I don't then I'm doomed to suffer I sometimes can be wishy washy because sometimes both sides make sense isn't that how we learn? All I know how to do is write Men don't cry We don't talk about our feelings and when I finally do I get shit for it So all I have is my words and a pen to write So please if you have something to say thats fine but just remember this is who I am

and in the end I'm the one that answers to my creator, the maker, the life taker.

When We were Silly little Kids Dedicated to my Sisters Jessi and Juliet (Happy B Day! I'm too Poor and out of town to give you a gift so I'm going to just write this poem for you two.) We used to walk home, laughing, being scared of dogs and strangers just , running fighting, giggling and pretending We used to run across the hall in our socks and pretend we could dance like Michael Jackson Back when times were hard and all I'll had was you two I talked for the three of us. You two never said much of anything at that time. We used to eat pickles and snow cones and play Nintendo It didn't matter that we didn't have alot we had each other, when times got rough and our parents would fight and we would hide and seek a better tomorrow I remember when we used to go fishing and play basket ball. I remember the fights I'd get into and how you two helped me from getting beat up. I remember you two my little twin sisters I know who I am thanks to you when I would lie about this and that

and you two would put me in place and laugh. I can still here you too giggling in my head like we used to pulling around a red wagon in a backyard that was thought to be the world as we knew it I remember all the fun times even if you don't But I love you all the same Happy to have such awesome sisters, but truly you guys are my friends My support group My sanity, My life with out you both I would be dead all the times you gave me money, and food, and everything I needed to make it another day in the life all the times you two lectured me about all the ways I was messing up, It was all worth it, all the pain and the good times just to have you two there cause god blest me with the two greatest sisters ever made I love you two with all my heart until I die.

Time Traveler The time traveled for the body unraveled If you only knew what I go through. Back and forth between dimensions, with no words to mention that I was even there. Back and forth on this train my brain sustains fixed Time unchanged The time I turned the clock back to tell people the raw fact that we can live again Went back to save some souls and found a hole with in the space to drop my place As if I was never there. Stayed to long to run awhile I traveled farther than a mile. If you only knew what I go through I saved us all more than once.. Telling those I met to watch out because I came back to stop this. This isn't a bubble so don't pop this until you understand the wants of the want less The way it goes is deep in sleep I drop like shepherd leading the sheep like Ziggy and my final leap home wherever that is.. the grasp of the graspless Traveled through stone went to the future and grown and told them what I saw. The end was coming but death is drumming so its not the end at all. Stopped it before it got bad most of the times I've been glad to turn the clock back and try it again. Just to save a friend. Went back to the 90's before you could find me playing in the yard My brother told me be for I left. Life is hard so take this card and travel back soon leave your problem in this room Stop the world from doom. If you only knew what I went through Fought gang members got, shot at seen death, accidents, makings of a movie to some but to me its enough to keep your head spinning, ran from cops (not very well) to show you you can't keep my soul in a cell. Been homeless with homies with homes less than shacks and nothing more than the clothes on my back If you only knew what I've been through... Went back to where I grew up to saw it blew up with the same things I tried to escape Hid in alley lived in valleys and seen the people that lost more than there lives but there souls. Jumped from cliffs only to biff and see the times as something to change and lift If you only knew what I've been through. Meet others like me fighting battles nightly as well continue to go back and forth with no problem. Trying to sew what was ripped, repair what was chipped and take back the real shit If you've only know what I've been trough..

My sister Haiti Dark and beautiful with her breast exposed Gleaming the sunlight. Crying to be free. My sister was so beautiful then I allowed them to rape her. My sister Haiti, was shaken, taken and broken in two. She's torn and her people are dying. Can't you hear her people crying? I never cared I'm older.. I'm better.. I'm stronger I rule this earth and make people tremble But my sister is dying should I do what I can? I'm already in Iraq and Afghanistan and the beat goes on and on failed wars in El Salvador and Vietnam. My sister is suffering and I've been bad to her. I should help her. I'm the big brother, the bad mother fucker the one you don't want to mess with so fall in line. I've conquered this world in 200 years time They call it Manifest destiny I call it fate. My sister Haiti, I want you to smile it's not too late. I see what I done to you. I see how I've hurt the world My sister is black and beautiful a marvelous queen My sister had hopes and dreams. Now she split in two trying to rebuild the people curse and cry for her My sister you are beautiful I need to help you so you can sing and laugh again so that you can wear feathers and shells in your hair and you could prosper without a care I hurt my sister. Mother earth is going to scold me too I need to help her My sister Haiti I love you and I will be there. I want her to smile and have no worries I want her people to survive and live a good life like my American Dream My sister I've done you wrong without a gleam. Sister, you will smile again We are all brother and sisters in the mother Earth here for the end.

Nerd Rap I'm unethical Kids style to me are unacceptable More nutritious than your vegetables Forgiveness of sins unrepeatable It's repeatable Ctrl alt Deletable Cause she's not responding Like two Ionic molecules bonding Or left for dead spawning The sunset is dawning Its time for revenge with your pocket protector King of the nerds using a pen as a septor I'm earthbound like nes the first words I could say were N.E.S Hooked my brain up to the internet had a dragon and a alien as a pet and a black and white tv set I'm the darker version of peter parker Obi won kenobi style martyr You say you're hard but I'm harder Write this in morse code of your ham radio Making love to myself like hip hop fellatio Changing fractions to ratios Eat you up like tasty-O's mmmm delicious serve it with gravy and biskets Tortillas and briskets that I bought at pic quick.

Normal In this world they want to conform you like locust the styles they swarm you Let me warn you.. I don't want to be like you and your friends who think they're fly I just want to live closer to freedom the your average guy I've never been like you and to me that's a blessing. For I am how my creator make me and you're deep inside yet you act crazy. No one is normal get that through your skull dislex is a factory reject made for the long haul of things to come people aren't fresh they're just dumb My grandparents wanted me to be normal and so does my girl but I'm unfamiliar with the term in your world I was never normal since before I was sperm When will you learn? It's not the looks you got or way you walk or the accent you talk its the fact they making money one your plot Normal such a funny word to me broken mirrors to help the blind see but it's not just your eyesight its a desire to be something you're not Normal. oh no your not Normal who is? Normal Is anyone normal?

Ode To My ancestors Time is non existent in mutual universal strain non existence making the sand of the hour glass fight the daylights missions for the reasons I control energy with the strength in my hands calling out to fallen ancestors in celestial lands holding on to nothing slipping throughout the sands helping the living dead and the deadly damned this is the universe in which gods stands where the biggest threats lined in tiny strands Can you feel the power surge for the source in the stars beings flying over there sprits over the lost civilizations of Venus and mars how many times will the calendar turn where life began from the fires that burn this is all a replay of battles in the cosmos with measures in sounds while being exist on pure ideological thoughts cemented in the grounds where are dreams may have existed the realm of our imaginations is the truest form of reality and all its creations, destructive mindsets made throughout perilous sensations of the world with beings of free emaciations of a starving culture straying away from all fortifications yet the tiresome work of the gods can never be done cause the worlds stops itself before it begun only to keep the power of the said to a upheaval in the heavens Celeste beings never made in passed a numerical system passed the reverends alas humans were being made to be gods but or own greed de evolved us and turned us to dogs looking for the answers where we once made civilizations of Scorpio Aquarius and Cancer, and our own ancestors destroyed their homelands from greed disasters and enslaved the primates for the worlds built after Will our children forgive us for our grave mistakes? Or will it build them further in to intense games of love hate the world only slanted on a uphill stake while human evolutions depend on mental states Alas the stars keep dying and moving our own creations became our creators or motives became our motivators their worlds are made for the later while we suffer in ourselves the only power that can be described as lasers stopped but never stops for ones reeling looking out in to the skies to see if we can have feelings.

Ode to My Lost Notebooks So many poems that will never see the light of day So many thoughts and ideas that never left the page I feel like a mother that lost her cubs so many talks of the spirit, the way, the life, and love Now I have to start over so many stars in the sky I counted along the night sky.. alone So many heart breaks, dreams and friends numbers lost so many thoughts given back to the wind I feel lost lost like me notebook I can't even pick up the pen How can I start agian? so many things gone forever a long time a song, a prayer, a hope for the summer but now a giant loss a hole deeper into my rotting soul to begin agian right now is foolish I'm not ready to let you go goodbye my notebook you kept me through some of the hardest times in 2010 some of the greatest misunderstandings some of the best friends I lost this year with their drawings inside given to the fire given back to the land gone to a place I'll never remember I've been turning to you when I got dissed when I was pissed when I thought I was ready to go and you were there with paper inside letting me know letting me cry my eyes out through the pen to the page a union that could never be understood in our way.

I tried to find you but I failed amongst the the headaches, heartbreaks, and snowflakes the lost friends, stupid concerts that all most killed my very being, and failing at school, I let you go I remember that day I regret that day the day I said I didn't need you and I put you away because I told you you were getting in the way and now your gone and Im alone with out a notebook with out a REAL friend to listen to me vent Goodbye, old friend Im sorry for the way I treated you You always were fun to draw in and write to but now your gone submerged in water too stained to use. Goodbye my muse.

People say People say I write too much Wordsmith master of giving a fuck.. People say hip hop is dead Well allow me to raise it like Jesus and let me put it in your head show you a new light instead and put meat on your bones like it was bread People say that poetry is gay.. But I'll do their girl in front of them and make hate the day the messed with dislexican and the man who walks that way and stops the rain troops from hitting the tray. People say that maybe the world is doomed They just loons and buffoons who cry and swoon send me a post card cause their brain is gone like see you soon.. I'll do more than that I will snap your back before you have time to act and determine whats fiction and what is fact meet me in the future and I'll kill you with some old man raps have your questioning your you lifestyle like perhaps perhaps perhaps I shouldn't even exist, like they tried that once to me but the devil was pissed Writing a eulogy like you will be missed... People Say that maybe this is it.. well if this is it I want to know what this is and why this is any different from that like making you feel bad like sick kids, and burnt eyelids or getting kicked the the ribs for telling fibs to billy tha squid and crying over what you did You did.. not listen to me the first time cause truth hurts like punch lines coming from one times who talk shit and can't commit a cyber crime, or jump over the line.. so I don't grind only eat pork rinds and wrap minds with four times the effect as you . People say that I'm not the problem its you talking and stalking and not going what I've been through acting like well just acting like you are one but your really two You aren't red your really blue and mixed up worse than a mixed stew or bottled brew that was old an ew People say bullshit So people..Cool It!

To Have None To hold inside a deep calling for a place you've never fit as the revolutions of those that turned away the center of the mind is a scary place To hold the truth inside When you feel as if you are an outsider even among your own tribe In dancing smoke longing for a place to fit amongst the beasts in a world where you aren't human just a number a poetic soul looking for another In the lands beyond our rights I've seen myself in twisted shadows of changing Yet, I've let time slip away in deep green pastures where you love a life in which you've never really lived Too soon to call for help too late to even find a place to be I rest my head on concrete and woodfloors Try to hold on to a dying breed a writers creedone for all and all for one

but we died along the riverbanks searching for freedom amongst the beasts that lead us off our mountain. The leaks of ink, now red with envy as I see the disease that was carried beyond us to a place of new understanding Where I won't feel alone as I always have among the gods and poets before and after me in a whole universe dedicated to the loser making a name for the nameless

Peyote I saw it in a dream it was what I wanted it was everything I hope for I saw a road lined in jade, silk and silver with all of my friends there I saw that I had made it, my own personal heaven Im became strong I was no longer scared Looking into the ocean making sure I don't give up a humming bird flew passed me and spoke It's time for you to take that step At first I was afraid then I took a deep breath and took the first step Outside the tepee where I sat and cried. For I could no longer sever my ties to the earth. I could not serve two masters. This medicine kept me alive I saw it in a vision An eagle soaring high. My ancestors the star people ,Anazai flying up into the sky Dancing round a fire touching the creator I tried to touch God, but I failed. I fell and hit the earth. Grounded. Like this medicine Brought back to reality.

Getting well. I felt ashamed It hurt my body in pain.

I cried to the Keator . I asked he/she/it Why?!

Why do we act like that? Finding an outlet for those who cannot see past their noses The days of hope can be changed by the times of gold To live on as a person that you simply cannot be.. How can you fake yourself in to believing you are someone else This phoenix rose from the ashes only to speak with the intent to lie These reasons cloud the purpose of a life simply living clear As I find new ways to express myself I tell myself not to lose myself For some do not understand and empty stomachs and ashtrays can never let you see past the shadow of others To act as if it does not affect you,, in turn would be lying to yourself Although I aim to be great I cannot accept that I must act with letting my true intentions be known For then can I see beyond myself, to see beyond the horizon into a new day of glory Men only ponder and lust for power as I pray for peace knowing this path will not be easy I must shed the skin of a former self Kind words may only get you so far Why would I act any different from the way I am now? To let yourself see the mistakes you make can help you in the time you need and to become strong within never acting like it doesn't matter or holding deep down inside. For those who cannot tell their true emotions and let themselves say what they mean I give you this a voice a time to say no longer will I hold back for time is fleeting like our dying planet It has become time to live up to yourself and tell yourself I must not act as if it doesnt bother me, I must say what I need to say for the last time before we part.. Forever is a long time and the thought of loses this moment without your true intent is a shallow act worse than those you sit back and let it all fall down So I ask why do we act? When we know that it's not the best way to be... Maybe sometimes it's better not to ask..

Why do we live this way? Why we pray this way? walking bright and tall like the day I ask Grandmother why we live this way? She tells me just to pray How can humans live this way? a cactus stabs me as I pray. Pray harder my ancestors say. For have you heard the moon today? I heard she cried and went away Tell me why do humans act this way? a cactus stabs me as I pray I ask Grandfather for the day. Pray harder is what he say. Why do humans act this way? In the suns heat the children play until the sun has gone and went away I am cold no more heat to today Pray harder is what they say a cactus stabs me as I pray Why do humans live this way? I ask grandmother what to say all she tell me is be quiet and pray the land is ours and took away Why must humans act this way? - a prayer

Words Seldom Spoke Taken aloof into a place of dreams Do my stars hold the answer? Or is the galaxy against my wishes? Flying as wind from the south west touching the ground barely leaving a mark the world is wordless distant with no relevance change with no thought Life with no reason self love.. a reason to care. For those who waste away in plastic smoke and strait lines.

a though fades while I smile saying what is seldom spoke The thoughts inside too proud to hide But I am the one who lets you see From the words that I say. A vision and hope for the future

You are beautiful To me no one could change the way I think of you No one can change the way I look up to you. No matter how ugly you feel No matter how horrible the past has been to you You are beautiful.. If I could have you see what I see when I see it then you would know. These is deep like caves in the homeland Touching reality with both hands No one could take you away the soul you posses if fresh like the dew on a new day You are beauty if its in the eye of the beholder and left to imagination Truly one of gods greatest creations.. To write sweet words in return for something is evil I want you to know that I'm liking the person you've become the person you are and the person you want to be You are beautiful to me No one can stop you.. you don't need to worry I am always there It's not the clothes you wear or the way you look Its not the way you move or the way you talk It's you.. The way you look at me.. the way you understand me It's the way we fight together for each other making love and understanding the world and place to cover.. Can you see me right beside you? You can see the reflection of greatness So stop hating yourself because you truly are a flower you are the best I've ever met and these words are half of what I could say Because you are beautiful. I've made mistakes in the past too I've been with bad women who hate themselves Some hate me or think I hate them others think I still love them. or still love me Untrue.. because I only have eyes for you because you are beautiful You've been there when no one else has made me laugh ..just been a friend Helped me see the light at the end. You are the most high.. educated underrated looking at you makes me act faded This isn't a facade or away to waste your time You are beautiful body soul and mind I like you on your worst days.. you shine bright like sun rays people go and some stay.. but to me you will always be beautiful Dont believe me? you will one day when I'm gone.. you see what I meant and how my intentions were good and never unkempt

When I met you I saw it right away. When you saw me you turned away.. because you knew we shared something good you knew that I wasn't lying when I said you were beautiful And now you know what life can display like a picture that never fades away Beauty is not looks to me cause you look to me as if you already see the truth of our beauty truly you are special by all means and something that poets and painters would only see in their dreams Beauty is art and you are an artist You paint a picture and made me see You are beautiful...

You wont know until Im gone I've told you time and time again I've grown up to lecture the ones I love life is simple I thought people just make it complicated I'm tired of all this negative bullshit I stopped telling you cause I really stopped caring.. Not about you. but about the things you hate Hate is such an ugly word Hate makes you ugly.. You keep and carry it like it's going to do something for you like a reminder that should just die.. You don't care that I've been there You don't want to see beyond the box you live in You like to be lonely and miserable We never left you but you left us We never stopped you but you stopped us I told you my life was hard too. I'm just happy to be alive.. Happy that the Kreator gave me another day To win or to Fail doesn't matter to me because I'm here to help.. You are just sad.. Sad because no matter what I tell you it doesn't matter and you are filled with remorse regret and hate. I can't make it better if you won't Sometimes I feel like if I was dead maybe you would listen maybe you would say.. damn he was right.. he had it pretty hard but he was happy Why couldn't I be that way? Why Couldn't you? It's really simple.. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon I'm planning on living until they drag me off this rock and take me to the abyss kicking and screaming to live another day but I'm just saying.. You could do so much more with so much less you could be the best you've ever been but you don't want to you want to cry and hate the world for the bad choices you made Believe me I've made several but I learned moved on and found an outlet Can't you do the same?

Placed Upon I never tried to put you up high only as an equal eye to eye for the mistakes we've made a youth wasted on loud noises and pot smoking I never try to put you above or below me just in the middle Where I stood. Maybe it was your fear Maybe its was my stubborn ways either or in the end it was all over cause it couldn't be faked anymore. We couldnt keep up the lie. I've seen alot, been through some things that scared you but I can't choose the life they gave me. I only can choose a way out. You helped me escape amongst Angels and Demons and heard the cries as I fell to pieces but you were too scared to pick them up So I stood alone brought myself to make myself better and you weren't there to ever see it

On Ive lived on the edge of lies in stages of discontent. Never really aging but feeling different every time around. Ive lived on the lies of government officials and church people, my own people and media. I rented out my soul for a piece of the pie. A piece that only killed me and others like me, never really helping Ive been on. On a different world completely trying to come home. And when I do come home it wont be the same. It never was the same. Ive lived on lives other than mine in stages like butterflies and ants working like communists for a Utopian good that only exist on paper. Im on. On a cloud that is painfully letting others survive, when all theyve wanted is our death and our monies. On now and always Thanks to poverty for me there is no fund for me to trust. On I just have life. On demand on credit. as insignificant as you think it is. As destructive as you are. I am your same. A brother, although you arent ever on.

To be on or to be off thats the real question. But you may never see that. Cause you are. On On a drug fueled raid of blood lust and power quest. While Im on green trees and green teas. On a path to stay bathed in light On the move. Always on.

Stroll Down an Ironic Street

These long desert nights walk to the roads uncovered by shadows and lights dancing like fire flies the music flies across the air as I walk home I think If I could only see the music hear the noises to only be something else for a minute to get away from the lights and shows the voices and judging eyes destroying what you hold dear, what you once knew. inside long raspy voices and timed responses, thoughts that came and went. away from computer screens and tests Long cold glances and foolish gazes To be along the sand, with rocks in your shoes. kicking up dust and dirt. feeling like I don't exist only to see the music dance across the screen away from forms and lights that shine only to be alone with you if only for a second as the hour glass turns I think of so many wasted days

and things I should have said but how can I when we've never talked like real people do. Hellos and good byes Life from party to bars to life from books to music I've seen it across the sky How I walk down this street and realize how its fading but how can I say hello when you've said goodbye From shows to thoughts in private I think of the walk I take and how I wish I could only find something to relate. Some way to grab the courage to say more than just hi. A walk down a dark alleyway. Instead of being a man and talking to you. Im here walking. Alone and wishing for more. Wishing for you to see me.

Praying man In darkness there is light. For this is where our story begins In the depth of someones mind deep some find solace in a broken mental state I've loved and cared for you like a brother but it's now time to move on. For I'm praying for you to get better its hard to let go you are a friend. We are one but I cannot fight between you and the evil that rests inside you You say you are a good person you are but you have a problem the devil is inside of you trying to kill me and those you love For I am a praying man praying for you to get well because something has you under its spell I pray and pray harder that you don't hurt us and yourself I have to tackle the demon and bring you back to a world of broken glass and bent metal that almost killed your brothers I pray for you you don't believe in my grandfather or grandmother god the most high the holy you believe in death and True we all die but I pray for you again the demon almost killed me and I took it upon my healing hands to stop the demon from showing its ugly head I'm a praying man hoping you get well I can't stand to see you destroyed I love my brother too much to see him succumb to the darkness in which he can never remember So I pray for you and pray hard.

Sun Gods Burn down the burnouts and bring down the turnouts Set fire to mics and drop flights like Phoenix lights in unseemly sights in weather we burn and the heat can turn deadly like its rotations my fascination with our cessination and our ill creations like solar flare burn you like you ain't there And if you are I 'll burn you out like a fallen star Heat so devastating while you melt and exasperating fried to say the least when you unleash the beast and defeat the beat set fire to your campsite and steal the pieces from your light bright knocking you around like fight night

as serious as 210 degrees and 1000 ccs of the hotness people ask if I have it Im like nah I got this. out of habit cause you are thoughtless Varsity Jukebox Junkie so drop with the bottom to the top with Fire rocks who major in top width in flight where its spotless and airtight I'll slam you down with a topless fair fight with Fire coming from the skies looking into your destiny in gods eyes

Sunshine Rhymes Words hold meaning as gold stands gleaming for a different life dreaming Follow the word of a real revolution as time is outward like pollution I've see this all before and I will not stop to think about it once more people are like myths and old folklore but listen to your old folks more cause they been around like torrential down pour Just flowing to the beat letting off steam and heat cause we are what we eat so in that case let me be sweet yet sour as I flow for hours Talking to myself letting it be known this is how I felt it feels good to have nothing to see over the horizon the sun see me to be free more than the word that exists time I let it persist Take me away so I can see myself this is the first time I can be myself Cause the sunshine is gone and thats fine I find a new sun to lay under and rip this rhyme They say there's no sunshine when she gone I'll find a new sun to keep me warm when write this song Because you need to treat it better but learn how to turn a letter Can't live in the past just it falls in the west Distance yourself and be the best Yet she rises in the east as I found sunshine as I piece the puzzle together if the sunshine is gone then I wrote this letter to make my life better and rock to the beat of lissen as the sunshine is gone I saw good riddance and keep spitting and find another sun to share my submissions with all of my peoples permissions with my sunshine there I can feel smitten

Super man cant do this Super heroes are just people with big hearts. Caring about those that need their help. I don't have magic powers or radiation to make me great. When you need a person to talk to I'll be there. When you have a problem I'll listen. I may not be able to fly I may not be able to bend steel But I can help you when you need it. I can't see through walls I don't have a cape. But I can hang with you when your sad. If you don't have food. I'll give you my last piece and if you don't have water I'll give you my last drink. I may not be able to heal quickly if you stab me in the back But that's ok. I don't need telekinesis I don't need kung fu to be your friend. I can give you a place to stay and ear to listen and a hug if you need it. I can't talk to sea creatures I can't stop time (I wish I could) I can't leap buildings in a single bound But I can be a super friend. Isn't that enough to save the world?

Taken Away I've walked these paths to dead ends and one way streets lost loves lives and one way heats I've seen those battle in war of person. At the mark of dawn you'll be taken away by your dreams the innocence is fading while you grip to the reality of a fallen light. You've walked these roads been taken by the wind a road. The one less traveled a way to be taken away. I have yet to be taken away by anything.

The Art of Zen Sit down take a breath Smell the roses or so they say the sitar plays a tune light that incense ..... Breath the sound of the OM connection of time and space Humans seem so small Why must we complicate our lives? the four elements the 7 directions ..... Take a good look a whats wrong with your life then stop thinking My candle has been burning even after it goes out it still rises.. to the stars .... the moon is my light the sun is my friend to be part of this universe now.. breathing living like water drip.. drip freedom can be attained I bounded myself in chains now time to let go .... breath feel good about yourself the answers are easy its always the question that is hard .. be zen be free like stars flying in to the sky you are one.

The Ghost of Gregorio A man ripped into pieces Subdued Disenchanted with the world around him Only trying to surrvive and make a living How can we live in chains? he asked in his native mexican tongue He'd prayed to god asking for nothing but inner peace instead he was imprisoned for being the wrong color They said he shot a horse they called him a thief He never stole in his life He sat waiting for a texas style beheading in chains like his brothers before him were He couldn't understand why they put him in that cell and took him away. In the night time alone a man is left to his devices thinking...trying to make sense of the senseless but no one came but the devil He told Gregorio that he would set him free he offered him riches, and a wife, children and freedom a new a better life. He thought.. because he was alone in pain from the beatings and being tried and treated like second class He was single.. a poor lonely farm boy from my home state of Chihuahua 100 years ago. The devil smiled as he smoked his green pipe " I can give you the world" the devil said just give me your soul. He turned away and laughed. "Im in pain, but I will always have my convictions" A day came the evil left him behind to rot that day and angel came down from heaven saying.. I can set you free give you all you want if you come with me Gregorio..thought then he asked why does god care about me? the Angel Miguel repiled "because god loves all his children."

But he nodded "I must go through with my execution" "I have a story to tell the children I never had "I have an example to set for the future to see the wrongs that were done to me and so many others" He thanked the Angel Miguel and then he was dragged away by Texas Rangers Shot like the lowest dog not even given a burial but his ghost still lingered in that prison cell where God and the devil came to him he stayed hoping that the people he loved would never have to go through what he did. A choice a decision something that we all make yet, never fufill our destiny with So this is for Gregorio.. that farmer who took his death like a man even if it wasnt't fair or right he just did it so that gente like us could live free so that we could see how they marginalize us and make us feel like second class citizens in a country we already owned. I tip my somberero to Gregorio may his ghost rest in peace.

The Girl in my Window Sil One can ask themselves..Are we destined for greatness? Are the lives we lead planned out for us in advance? Obsessed with health unconscious yet conscious of self Holding on to a dream... Feeling like the world may crush your spirt for the sacrifices that you refused to make The path of the holy is not an easy one For you must suffer to be free In turn of a life live in solace for the things which will never make sense As I see you silhouette, I ponder if this path is worthy of walking But with medicine I gave me no choice but to fight your battles Reborn like a fire bird out of the flames do I find a answer Yet It cannot be explained For your life is different than mine so I can't begin to show you where I went wrong This path purifies and destroys those who do not respect it For the battles you fought will not die in vain.. The Shadow of a human changing shapes in darkness smiling because she knows your future I did not choose this way of life It choose me My father would not let me die with out a fight To sacrifice oneself for the common good in her eyes is foolish for ones who carry a common hate Her path is different only lined with destruction and self loathing While mine is filled with questions and compassion Who's to say these paths cannot cross to stop chaos where nature was born Time is a place where the sun and moon and meet if only for a moment to let the world see the pain and pleasures of things misunderstood by human minds unmindful of grasping concepts and lost thoughts

The Green Butterfly Conflicts of things to go on with. Not lived in myths or thoughts Just a sense of the enlightened For a moment . See what you want Preciousness the future thru light Thrusting towards a windy goal dreams of freedom while stuck in transitional anarchy Organized Chaos an escape outwards that starts inwards A butterfly changing itself Takes time but life itself can wait for greatness. Natural to feel apart from a giant source for a moment to be closer than you've ever felt to the change you are about to become. Green beauty fluttering in the sky like loving eyes sparks fly

for those who seek change beyond the grains of time where it is sacred to those who see its truest beauty to fly away and move on to fly away and move forward to fly as you change from ground to sky Majestic inside yourself for a small moment. Graceful to be above the clouds Soaring beyond expectations and limits set by yourself and others Free at last For I can feel the change..

Poetic Blues and Pauses My words were once. Once. viewed in amazement it was my greatest moment so far. I caught myself from slipping of the edge to dark sides So far its been a trip. to quote and paraphrase these days. These days oh these days From glory to hard times I ask is it worth it all? Lost friends, Diminished hopes, broken hearts and minds never fixed and the simple facts can't mobilize those for the revolution in this 21st paradox. The revolution is never gonna be in our hands cause it used to be in theirs It used to be about the dream of a better life Now its schemes and hype. It used to be about the music and the poems now its about the way things are. Politics and saving face my two greatest enemies The pen and the sword

like double fisting two different weapons as I bleed and hold back my emotions that Got me here in the first place and ruined what I worked so hard for. But wait thats not all folks It's also my way of life my way to communicate to the outside world in which I grown to hate and mistrust All your comments aside I have little faith in the current situation I've brought up the ghosts of higher elevation I can't ever go back to the way things are but sometimes you just can't let go I refuse to be silenced or to slip out of the darkness because I couldn't give it my all. For those that only read in between the lines to those that think they understand my mind You've never had to be anything more than what you are not what you've become overtime over time to replace the person you were

Push Along the Way If I push along the way there will be many things to see. It's so easy to give it up. But you all kept me strong I've gone too far. But with you I've gone farther as the Sage from the mountains litter my room with good intentions and I see the smoke rise from the floor. I took a step today to try something different. Saw that I mattered I stand too true to what I want and what I've become I keep pushing these stones up the hill fallen behind are the worries of the past and stress of a future , I may never be around for as we find questions we seldom find the answers to what we want to know. I keep pushing because I'm not scared, just scarred Moving along toward the sun in a positive light away from those who self destruct It's hard to let people go when you know they are gone but its good to know you are here Full circle the time I pray for when I can return to the fire, where I came. the marks of a lasting soul learning towards the goal of freedom, together we can achieve peace with my families beside me, bathed in the lights understanding together

the struggle and sharing in the joy of friendship with the words I never got to say..

The Hallowed Road to Hell The nights grow weary as I grow tired of one night stands and fake acquaintances of Drug users and shooters. Escape the point of no return before you become one of these losers I grew weary. Of lying friends and hallowed heads money hungry greed and lovers not yet dead. As death washes her face I see that not all is well not all is OK in the land of comics and drawings stars and callings I grow tired ,of cold women and coffee of cold half embraces and ugly faces Hot headed debates and mercury nights filled with despair. the questions to why you are there Envy, your face is filled with all of it. Despair and dispassion you true lover, most vain and fair I'm tired of killing my sense of sensibilities due to the necessity to survive I skate down this road zooming passed the bar. The cold harsh truth that drugs and drinking and too much sex will ruin you. And that the love I want is one that doesn't exist in you Why should I spark something not worth time? For living in my own hell I do just fine. My life is great as great as a lonesome poet can be with problems of a mental physicality and border line jumper of reality as I am an icon, a golden child turned silver

a poet bard, rusted from a time never brought forth until now the last of my kind before they took away our sense of masculinity and femininity and replaced it with buffets of lust and pile of drugs that will never lead to the true path just hallowed.. dark and Grey .the music played by lutes and harps only can turn blue. The blues make the devil happy a hallowed road of free drinks and sex breaking while you walk upon it looking for the next step to evolve beyond your lust on a hallowed road to hell.

The House of a Thousand Reeds Here I lie floating lifeless to the wave of the future. The waves come and go the last of our kind lived in these huts. Inside the house of a thousand reeds lies my soul cramped in a shelf, in a box hidden in shadows waiting to be free. We float down stream never coming to the end of our journey but starting the cycle again. Time is not linear.. nor will we have the place to sit on the waters edge. In the house of a thousand reeds were a thousand souls are waiting to be freed. This house was not made of brick.. nor stone or wood but it was made of our emotions. The things we claim never to have.. The ways we forgot.. The wind whispers but not in the way people think. She says " Have you forgotten your role"? for time is fleeting down the river and I am trying to hold on. The house of a thousand souls.. a thousand people saying I'm not good enough. Or why me? Like my brother says "Why not"? a thousand doubts of a world that was never made because we couldn't take the first step. Here I lie floating downstream wishing I could be water... Wishing I could have made a difference.... Too saddened by my own actions in the past to move forward. In the house of a thousand reeds are lost lovers who are too proud to try again too scared to admit they were wrong. Those that are too scarred by what others have done. Love is holding the one you love together even when it started wrong it's starting fresh and letting our house stand. In this house built on souls... sinking down the river.. I float down this river hoping to find you and the 999 other people that our sharing our lament. Not good enough. Too good .. Not happy .. too happy In the house it has no regret.. These souls are lost waiting to be found ... as I float down stream I vow to find them and put them back to their places. I want to build a new house built on trust instead of defeat. Never having much can give you a reed to grab upon but the reed will break. and you'll be stuck lifeless floating downstream hoping that you could have held on a bit longer. As the rain comes down and night begins I find my place in the house of a thousand reeds making right things I made wrong putting back the pieces of shattered souls one human at a time. Yes the night ended in darkness alone but the Day began fresh too try again and make right the mistakes of our past.

Life doesn't have to end here. Not like this. We could build a new house floating in the river held up by the very people that you never knew felt the same pain as you. We could build a new house floating on dreams... Fresh for our children... and others like us to start again. Shin Shikata.. a new meaning to an old word In the house of a thousand reeds where my soul lies... Down the river bank the future in our hopeful eyes,,, When the house breaks so will we all To float down the stream finding something to grab on to one last time...

The Journey In my dreams it's like it's real for the time feeling nothing is how I deal On the path with friends that come and go my relationships are strong and my spirit is stronger The path is bumpy I get side tracked Don't want to flo any more I feel whack. Then a brother, and sister they come to me like the mother Mary and like the Beatles I let it be. They don't say shit but you can feel their love They don't need to hear it they can feel it. I get beat up by my own self doubts In this dream it is reality.. and I am numb with answers Yet where is the question? The journey is long but I told myself I have to do this For me, for us, for our family I don't want to write anymore I feel stupid Yet I know I'm smart I am the one who welds my art I won't let myself fall victim to myself We all feel pain I'm not special nor do I have an answer in a world that is beyond human grasp, understanding.. just ask I find my spirit form better than my human self Brothers fight and sisters weep for the humanity inside of me Yet I'm not the only one just a muse for helping those to see We are well on the journey I get jumped, sabotaged, feeling like a murderous dog But I still move in motion with my family whether you be blood or soul you can understand why I don't feel whole The fraction of life has taken a toll My form is formless my life is lifeless So bring on your demons and your devils so I may purify them to make us well. It begins with a thought and becomes a lifestyle this journey these dusty roads never live upon. I have no reason to complain for what others have done before me I won't stop.. I can't give in to defeat Beaten, kicked around haunted by my ghosts I lay with them I pray with them I let them go

You can understand if you wanted to... Don't use your eyes they deceive you don't use your mouth for it will only cheapen our goal. We are all suffering, yet together we feel whole It's time to move again and love yourself and your friends My tears are for you, sister, brother, mother, father, Kreator, primo, prima and friend you are all with me in my journey helping me along.. fighting my demons being my window to a dark past and a bright future I'm done living in the shadow of my former self I'm here to help others otherwise I would have died that day November 15th nineteen hundred and eighty three @ 6:30 strangled by my mothers womb Declared dead... Yet I am more alive than you will ever be Moving on my journey picking up stones and making mountains holding dear what I hold true yet I feel like something is still missing the water about to break as I carry along the only things that matter... You...Me.. Us...We..Together..in spirits in dreams that's all I need to complete my journey and that's all anyone ever needs .. A person to listen to them a place to feel at home Together we are all we ever need to be. Strong.. Fire Flowing like water Myself will not lose the battle but merely show you the wounds and scars so that you may learn on your journey..

The Meeting of Fire and Water How I never can forget the meeting of two great tribes. Our grandmothers dreams... The fire nation meets the island of water. Both enchanted both have their forms of sprits that run free. Prayers were laid down as our ancestors were under the center of a bamboo teepee This was history that could never be measured by words. The fire burned through out the night meeting the waters Smoking .. Water bubbling in haze and mist of those days bubbling letting mist rise in the damp air.. Old friends meet again, New friends were made. Fire stayed hot and Water styed cold but there was a balance as the night moved along unto the new morning. This was the morning our scribes wrote about in the codecs. These were the stories that elders told us to pass down to our children. Fire meets water.. We grew to know how they lived in harmony they became more.. they unfolded burned and washed away centuries of could haves, and should have's and never dids. We meet on central ground. From Deserts to Rainforests. sometimes not speaking the same dialect but fire and water spoke for us. The mother helped her people by holding them in her breast. We became her heart beating all as one in unison. Our mothers were proud of how far we had come. Not holy men but men who were holy. Not medicine men but men that had medicine. Together we brought in the new sun holding each other up as family. Languages, blood and color could not bind us anymore We were free Thanks to fire and water and the balance that existed that day We were free Free to pray and thank the Kreator for these things Free to respect ourselves once again Free to live and love our children Free...

The past of my family The past has let me down but it has told me that I cant do it and now the bullet has been dodged again but for how long? If you were leaving I would want to follow you so because I never got to pay you back both took bullets for me to survive Crying tears Ive never cried, Ive dodged the bullets but from my past I cannot hide Please let me show you the man I have become, tell me your proud that you raised my right as you raised my left and told me to stand like a man , Women may come and go, alcohol can be drank but its not the same without you there. You both made me If you left I dont know what I could do to make up for my shortcoming. You were a real man who did what you needed to. Dont you know with out you I would have not survived? Dont you know that people will not forget all the little shit that you did for this family both of you meant so much to me. The gift of life you both suffered for me You were the strongest woman never letting me go to stray away You cant go ! I wont let you go I must move on! I want to let you know that I am just like you ready to accept the world as it is as our fathers did and you told me not to worry its never to. My first memory was your blue eyes the eyes of true love and compassion. The mother that held me from evil until I left You helped a small seed grow into a giant tree and I wish I could tell you like you told me im proud of you I know weve had our ups and down, my anger which you understood, who tried to kill you and the children who fought for you even if you were wrong the love of both I could never choose You were and always will be the world to a small star in the deep blue skies teaching me the blues .. strumming my guitar you told me men werent supposed to weep so I hold my tears back and play another lifeless tune showing me my spirit the world out of tune a mother fighting to keep it all together Children should never lose their innocence she would say the mother knows what men do not.. the blood seeps from, the chords and hopes that I had of us ever spending time as men as the man my mother raised me to be.. reflecting our reflections inspecting my life with another world. how he came out west to find himself and found himself inside of a soul. The sky gentle as it is weeps for you and I hold

back my tears for the way I was treated The mother that was always there! She was alone but kept herself strong never weak as a goddess does You both told me to be a man is to accept the consequences of your own actions I do Im sorry I left you in anger to find the world but you told me this is what a man does this is what a man is the stone figure standing tall the former shadow of myself will never over shadow you or the mother that made me I shattered myself to let you live to see me repay you for my sins and glories I am the next chapter to your stories the son the brighten your darkness I will tell my sons and daughters of the things you could never learn in school deep down inside I regret that I was a fool disrespecting you such words can never be said to a woman like you! But here I stand playing you this simple song So time and age may move along My creators woman and man so much conflict but true in actions may equal the words to say I love you both Mother and father the most holy inside! The family that never left me...

The Pollution of Poison Poetry In an awakened silence a man is born. Holding on for dear life things he can't control In the city down the street there a mother crying for her unborn child the wave of dust and dirt have left him here traded it for unfriendly buildings and concrete concerned for the reason in which all muses go by. A fate worse then death. The curse of a once innocent mind an odd time for a revolution so he kept his mind in pollution She drinks poison. It keep her beauty in check her dark eyes are filled with sadness as she wants to be seen like less of an object and more of a person. Her lips are made of wine. Red like the sea His face is made of dirt and smells of the ash of his ancestors. but he likes her smile so left the desert and moved on Down the pipeline where a person breathes you can feel the smog run down their cheeks polluted mind set two star crossed lovers with tattoos and piercing rejects in society truly poetic end to a life that barely begins bricks and trying

to an artistic way of dying a slow painful death.

The Run and Chase We all run around like clueless beings Asking crazy questions and stupid things We chase money Knowledge and power We chase time Sand glass and seconds per hour We make lines and find what is sweet and what is sour. The keeper only knows why we do this. But we do it. After we get it we drop it After you have what you want you stop it. Like dogs trained to wag their tails You know where I am. I don't chase I can't run So I don't care. The chase for love The chase for grub and the chase to hate things above and chase for me to hate what you love. They run like rats under a spell The chased the devil down to hell the chase is what you like most some people never chase or will be lowered to your standards the chase to the end of time the chase is to finish right this time..

The Shape shifter Shapeshifter Changing form Never had much for an answer Slips the grasp of those wanted to grab her or keep her around Teflon Sweet and Subtle, sour yet percingly peaceful Not knowing how to speak What she feels Only knowing how to cry Alone in her shell Shapeshifters finding an identity to hide from herself Blossoming flowers Everything wanted is gotten the forgotten Remove the mask and show me your face as ugly as it is your real form Shapeshifter We know who you are

Scared, in pain, thought of as an object instead of a human. But you are a being of great beauty Hidden like a diamond in the dirt. Wanting to grasp the only thing that rules around A feeling of acceptance no longer chaging colors and faces looks and tastes May the moon show your true beauty hidden in the ugliness of your eyes Sensitive yet irresitable I pay my respects to you hoping you find a form that suits you

The Smell Of Dirt Lines of blood could never hold me Chains can't keep me the land is ours all of ours you're a fence but no a friend. You love our food but you hate us. Our women are your fantasies. Lines of dirt from wind to dust Owl's bring death Water brings life Live in the desert a scorpion's tale lights up My eyes are glaring into the sun The father of all life Madre tierra You are all alone Your children don't respect you They only poison your body and pierce the soul. But they won't take the smell of me You can clean it up and mask it with your scent

But It won't go away These rocks live with me and the dirt is in my being building my very soul out of adobe You can't take the secret out of something you don't get. The smell of your ancestors ingrained in my soul This is the way it should be the way it always was

Things we love They've always told me that things end. The world is good at changing but some aren't good a letting go. Quickly I think you a wave moving east to the new horizon. The great unknown the something you can't explain. If magic does exist it is in your eyes and if I'm the only one to know your sincerity then I'm the one that wins. The way pictures fade always made me smile when hair goes grey and the people in your lives move away. Thanks to the thoughts of what happen to make you see. The bright world ahead of you. The materials you don't need to make you happy that things you use to make you feel that way.

It was the life you chose Most times they walk with their eyes closed for the life you chose You want to live a life thats right t not taking the first step in the final plight this is love no longer and fight I've lived in up's and downs around went rounds and learned from clowns from that path I go Kicking the stones as I let life flow the candles are lit for something good so I see the ways you blinded yourself staring at the sun kinda sun blazed live for today life a dream that never went away It's the life you chose for those that open and close minds that stop and pose poems are life for the soul is prose I'd rather be myself than a shell of someone else for the life I chose the way I move up and down not thinking of what I show The life I choose to live thru and make better for me and you!

Dear OLD ME Dear old me, From all sides I'm getting words like "change" from everywhere I go I keep making the same mistakes to change like a snake shedding skin I want a new and better life I want to be happy. I'm tired of abusing myself Like when I sat up I was really hurting myself The stomach of mine filled with problems wanting to escape I thought I could be your friend (I guess I can't) I thought I could make it right ( I guess it's wrong) But I can't so I have to move forward and work upon these broken lego pieces To build myself back up The past is done (Thank god) So I should forget. But thats easier to say then to do. a process that takes much time Since I was born disabled people get frustrated they do everything for me so I don't know how to do for myself Now upon my 25 year I see that I don't know what I want (I thought I knew) I don't know who I am (I thought I knew) And apparently there is alot that I bottled up that came out wrong Words to people mean so much Why don't they mean shit for me? Everytime I say stupid shit with out thinking I don't know how much I hurt people Then I feel guilty and hurt myself That's some pain that really hurts (let me tell you) But today after I know that I finally lost you and this is it I can let go of all the anger I had towards my former self It's my fault I was an asshole and I have some problems but honestly if I could go day by day I know I'll be ok (really I believe this) I have awesome friends I have a awesome family

and dope talent with this music and writing shit (Yes it's shit because it's the shit) I've let go of emotial pain from being picked on for walking with a limp and being made fun of all my life. (you say that doesnt matter) But to me it does when I walk down the street or when people ask me that dumb question "Why do you walk like that"? it kills me (not no more though, cause people are dumb anyone that could talk says dumb shit) I know that all to well I know I contridct myself and I'm very wishy washy, selfish, pessimisitic and think I know everything (but who doesn't) If you can't accept my faults and all my problems then how the hell can I accept you How can I be allowed to change when you only see whats wrong with me? Yes, I smoke too much, drink alot eat like a pig and say the dumbest shit ever to the coolest people (but who doesn't) and for those that don't (good for you) I'm tired of beating myself up I have too many bruises that won't heal I wrote this letter so that you could see that I have tons of problems (but who doesn't) everyone in this room is a hypocrite and a liar and a thief or a drug addict at least once in their lives I guess I was just lucky to do it every day and lie to you about it saying I was ok ( I blame my Irish blood on this one) Just kidding, I can't blame anyone but myself So in closing I have to say that now that I'm finding something and someone better than you were to me I just want to say I won't be torn every which way I will stand for something even if its wrong and I will be better than I was cause I already am.... So I'm done getting torn by you and in trouble I want to stay up and take medicine with out it being a giant slug fest cause even UFC doesnt have shit on the beatings I took. I want to find a girl who wont leave me cause you told me that I should overact like someone else, and freak out over the little shit So goodbye Old me I hope you stay in the past while the new me goes home and sleeps and studies instead of getting blazed and watching Anime

(No promises Anime is the shit) Peace Dj Dislexican

Reprisal and Forgiveness I feel like a train ran through me Anger and the past which made me unruly Can't stop myself from hating you and wanting revenge The world is a place on the verge of an end The last strain of humanity involved to defend The life brought down to a simple bend I can't break the rules I merely follow the laws now and then While the letters I never sent I should have hit send I can't bring myself to like you for you arent even a good person You are just an animal waiting for a diversion Someone to blame turn you delusions in to subversion and stay negative because you are hurting . I can forgive but I never forget the shit and how you made me part of it so many moons have passed us by why I ask us why I stay in the sky like the metal eye. You can't hate me I've been the best I could be But I still hate you because you fail to understand me Words are just words to you but to me they carry meaning To you they are too literal and somewhat demining you can't take a joke unless you are laughing at me and the night you left I was sad but now I'm happy They don't know me as well as they say they do They have judged me for too long for me too forget I can forgive them but you it takes more time as you tease me and think it's fine Just because you don't have feelings doesn't mean that I don't You are just ashamed and afraid so to admit your wrong you won't Ever learn to forgive the hate you carry will be passed on to your kids and I feel sorry that they have to bear the burden of what you did You never stop to think of others only yourself I can't forgive you because you need help I can be your friend and I can be more but I can never seek revenge on a person whose well being is poor So tease me again.. Good go head throw your stones You will grow up to be hateful and alone While I will be happy and always in the zone with friends and lovers and family that are grown While you act as a child ..and a robot cold like stone...

Right Touch I just wanna have the right touch Used to fight alot now I don't fight much Thanks to this I stay calm Read the future as a palm Free myself in this verse I'm a Phenom The life in my hands pain I bring on or it was brought on/ Keep the track up like you got on Cause what I feel and think I feel high as a bird but as low as the sink I feel as the right person in the wrong I feel like the blind playing a song a kid that is always moving but can never move on Its always too little or too long. There's never an ending always mixing an mending fixing and sending Good vibrations Djing parties and radio stations Just lounging and wasting time in Poetry Circles and Petty Crimes I want to change my dollars into dimes And switch the clock apart back in time

the lead runs through my veins its a curse in my brain Been rocking this mic for years\ Its all for the eyes and ears Its all love baby tortillas rice and gravy Its about what you know and how to be true when you grow just get up and go set up life and follow your goals

Sand Castles distant skies ancient ways for those who's pride never flung away like a shot gun edged towards the moon my heart isn't really into this anymore waiting for my sentence to end on the outside i never colored within the lines but i always made a fool of myself for stopping to soon. stars have fallen and the dust bites back at those who laugh at god. angels don't sing anymore, the text demons don't scare you because they live with you voices in canyons far away a phantom scream in the scheme of true never wanted to admit you are very wrong the center of my world is flat in a sand castle in the clouds where stars are judging those down below afraid of the reflection that awaits them

Senseless Knowledge This life is filled with senseless knowledge I'm wishing I could know everything People are inhumane humans learning to hurt whom they love with the weapons the create sealing our own fate It's hard for me to believe in what I once did now that the world is a lie and nothing you could tell me makes the salt burn from my eyes People are godless with empty threats and sorrows that could never be express things are changing but people stay the same. Some change drastically a meet doom at heavens end others are lonely just looking for a friend This notebook is filled with senseless thoughts because I haven't felt anything in a long time and the magic has left my body for someone more persevering, I've desecrated my temple with self loathing and an escape route, with excuses and living for others that can't live for themselves I carry a lot of baggage and emotionally speaking I''m waiting to unload Words are but a fraction to the numbness felt inside a hollowed shell of what once was What is it? Where is it going? This life is filled with anguish but the positive side is the fact that I'm alive even then the gods are laughing for the choices I've made a comedy of life and death and a representative of a hollowed hole where my head once laid Slain is a comedy of tragedy and the time I've left it to myself to figure it out I've forced myself to think of the things I don't believe in I don't believe in you I don't believe in me and I don't believe that this even exists I fight myself to think that what I knew was just but really they were fallacies and I was waiting for the bubble to bust and the notes and rough drafts of the part that I'm missing was thrown in the fire and gone forever they say forever is a long time but I've never seen it so how do I know it exists Fuck your faith you have no reasons to have reasons and it's all a matter of opinion so before you judge and argue what you believe just remember we are all lost you just made yourself happy by thinking you've won this is not a race so I'm not filled with anything but a blank sense of starting again and leaving my fate to the wind winding down like the serpent and thinking of how to survive in a glass house where your knowledge means nothing I talked to god and it said that the more you know the more you hate

or something like that. really was torn down by the hallowed words of others to guess ignorance is really bliss but in my soul there's something I miss at least you can listen until then its is you that gets pissed and you can hate me or see that maybe this is it and we are all scared of it.

Sleepless Nights I live in a world of dreams a world that is full of images and symbols I never could understand I live in a world of bricks cold and solid I live in the world of words where I have nothing to say. Just a pod in a bed closing my eyes but never sleeping just a pretend way to see your life a turgid thought slipping thru my eyes believing what I never could just serration a tiny little place to see hope a thought process lost in forgotten thoughts when I dream I see the world, the future only when I sleep But I can't damn it its like when you dream of something awesome

then before you get to touch it you wake up and then you relax and see that you can't sleep but its just another night

Smoking Mirrors I laid down the broken path Of broken glass and egg shells walking with a limp Chisme , the clouding behind the mirror where I see myself Why do I only care to care when caring has never got me anywhere but down. Down to the end of a bottle where my only escape is a stomach ache and a puddle of bile Most Vile I rolled thru the bards lair to only lose my mind with my hair while judges sat and rang the bell. I've only seen half of the broken jagged edged shell you stabbed into my side before you twist and turn it You only see what you want to You only see what you can A broken piece lost in the obtuse the lighting is very thin to a road of hardships I've walked far and walked and never made it far enough past myself to see past you. But when I see but when I see more

When I see more than that is me more than that is free more than all can be I see you I see you looking Clearly No longer walls to divide us or me put you higher but to put you down where I was This is the end This is the end of it This is the end of it all when I don't give a damn about logic and thinking potions and stealing the rights of those that have no right the fight of those who never fight just take it all in stride as I hide as I hide from as I hide from myself as I hide from myself a little bit more of me grows stronger as the bad pieces die as the bad pieces die like they should Fighting the war

fighting the war between good and evil was never my style so I picked up the battle and stayed for awhile I am.. I am not not going to show you what I saw but I'm fighting the smoke behind the mirrors that distorted self image that we see so clearly to clean up the mess we made for ourselves

Snake bitten When he left this place he was 14 he had nothing but a notebook and ran into trouble They day we were born our mothers cried because we were trouble He had so much power so much going on inside that when we met I felt pride He knew of music and dreamed the dreams of a teen He wouldn't let go He just kept moving and running away to the bad lands We used to record music and I remember this crazy cat he wanted to be a dj. I'd be lying if I didn't say He was the one that made me this way Escaped to Montana to find the devil waiting for him Now 17.. He walked in hells fire He let the demons take him over and ran with the shadows He spoke of the Raven and the Owl as if he knew them And he did. There they called him pail for when he ran he would hide on the rez because he had lived there 100 years before He killed his soul but it wouldn't die No matter how much he hated himself he couldn't die So he met the snake.. and talk as a demon He told the snake his problems about how he wanted to die and how his mother hated him.. and his friends had died. and how even though his friends loved him back home he never could go back to a place that didn't feel like home He was now 22 and like a gun he shot up he kept the snake close and it bit him. Sticking it's fangs in its veins While saying the the lords name in vain He came back to the womb that he was ripped out of He left the snake in place he could never go back to He went to school got a job and a life things were good.. Or so we thought nothing is over and things have a way of coming back to bite you and the snake did just that The mother that left him no longer was there the family he had tried to help but the snake wrapped around his body and tried again to kill his soul but he kept living trying to kill yourself is hard when you have something to live for and he met others that were bitten and then it was back to the gutters and

rooms with no windows. He was alone I talked to him and pray for him in the fire Brother, I cried for my friend but my life and his were connected my friend was not dead but dying slowly and corrective I saw him last and did some things knowing that he was carrying the snake I could see in his eyes he wanted to be released I couldn't help him so I cried Now my friend is gone again I'm hoping the snake dies so he can be free and all I could here was his soul saying brother PRAY FOR ME!

Something Tells Me You are as cold a ice in the arctic north the pillars of good people look for support I'm pig headed so I work on my own road for the fire inside me is waiting to explode your world is lined by fear my is lined by the audiences ears I won't concede to defeat for the life I lead has never been sweet Yes I had sugar a time or two throwing you a line for fools You are a great story teller but also blind and deaf like Helen Keller The vines grow to stop the world from killing us more But the ones who are great are on their way out with nothing to score You are a hot as the Arizona sun left to burn When will you adults who are children learn? My road is rocky and full of broken promises some I broke to see what Honest is Still something tells me that if we stay frozen in time I may leave you behind Then I have half the brain to pay it no mind

Sour Grapes Quickly looking at the stars wondering if they'd pick me the world is messed up Up I rock the pen sickly like an underweight child whose sickly the place I'm at is bottom looking up this is a star bound trip attach my strings so we could hook it up to the solar system the rest of the world can't listen the the sound of an irregular heart beat if I didn't have the heart and soul there would be no heat in my fire dropped down to the ground but I refuse to retire only keep up the motions I need to be like you and show no emotion you can't stifle the a poet whose got more shots than an automatic rifle ask who you are and where youre going While I sit back along the river banks flowing Simply put I have given up that's alright because your destiny is fucked the energy inside of me is up while my spirits are down and the battle I refuse to give up so you can get smashed will grape wine I hear most things through the grape vine throughout the universe I got that dope connection lacking a forethought and others affection yet I'm deemed worthy of the soulful collection of thoughts and dreams of the session this is how I vent like it was a heater the gold inside to the barrier burn wood like cedar its a cold world I don't like it either but deep inside me I find the time to spit ether

Speaking without talking I'll let you talk I like to hear the languages that we speak the love that we make The time we spend and the place we go Without saying a word Language is hard for me since I couldnt tell you which I learned first yours or mine.. mi idoma . your time to show me all I've needed to see Estoy listo.. I'm ready to learn more about you More about the places you and I have been To make a common ground No hablas porque yo no hablo mucho I can't tell which way to go just to go with me I like to talk many times I just say palabras and you say words Does that mean we never understood each other My lengua is tied like my shoe laces for If I could say what I mean to say without saying it it would be all I could say when I need to say it. Es verdad that you and I are differente yet lo mismo and I still can't say anything Because we talk with out speaking sin palabras con mente a mente gente a gente without words

Jaguars Eyes

Burning candles and lighting sage the smells invade my nose as I sit and reflect The art in which thought can be too much a thought saddened by the way you go. Merely a game Pettiness, and lies a pawn's piece A player in true form foxes in desguises and masks jumping to conclusion only to never complain Burning the midnight lamp along the roads of discontent staring into the jaguars golden eyes and seeing the danger to be fearless and free in so much as a generation to walk in between time and space the path taken by one

to sit with our ancestors not to tempt fate not to blame oneself for short comings uncontrolled, forced and rushed the world is more than you think you know you could be sick and never really know why or knock on deaths door and die walking on the mountain to not wander Merely the weight of survival Learning to love myself while others know only what they can I need nothing but the love I keep inside the truest form of my happiness.

Just Bleed Just bleeding on a letter just to feel better but i feel worse as the spirit of death comes with a hearse invade my tomb feel my curse just like in the streets they felt my work Old notions are thing of the past forgives while i die inside each day the lost ones live I mean Im lost on the skids so much that when I look in the mirror i don't know who it is. My eyes lost a gleam in spent too many days dreaming of monsters, lowlifes criminals and demons while my mind keeps leaning towards the dark side of the spectrum damned in a box to get checked in saw the devil on the path of hell saying step in I have nothing to save me not even a weapon my soul is eaten away by the grief and you've lost me like an atheists belief the life that I lived was way to cheap just to live another day they ruined my feet so unless the devil in hells gate just to give his only son bounce in his gait the world is my for the taking and I just can't wait to flood the ones that snubbed my with torture and hate Im a destructive force in the universe made to make your life worse I want you to feel pain I want you to hurt like I do, I want u to feel dirt but all these specimens are nothing more than excrement to the dislexican and I will murder the rest them through soft lyrics and hard pain its sight to watch the blood drain of these dud veins locking my victims in chains I need to be with people with tumors in there brains even though things are rugged and plain So I needled myself to wild heart that you can't change

cut you so hard that blood is gushing out like a broken water main

Karmatic Lullabies :Part 1( The Art of Self Conceit ) I don't need it its gone I don't want it its wrong You can't see me You are blind You can't touch me I'm fine.. You failed to listen You're deaf You never know about me Or what's left You think you know me But you don't know the real. You think you understand us That's your deal. To pimp us out to make us look like worker ants I fly like an eagle but my legs won't dance I like the way I am. You hate yourself and want to change The problem with you is you have half a brain. You can't see me for you are only wanting whats best for you. You are selfish and want pleasure My love is like the sea something you humans can't measure You want me to make you feel like a goddess or god But you are godless and wrong You can't feel me I'm too smart for your game So you are a parasite and a human stain I love my life and I won't change stop trying to make me who I'm not to live to expectations for you to decide You are the one who came along for the ride You live to hide when shit gets tough You hate your body and I'm too much You feel like you are making a difference But your making yourself a fool I learned from life not from your school We are strong and won't be played I am a PERSON not just a body for you to display. Have you no respect? Have you no soul?

You will learn the hard way until you turn old I have changed...I learned from my mistakes You are a subhuman living life fake... I am not your meal ticket, Savoir, Way out, Or perfect man. I am not a soap box on which you can stand I am the tallest man You are a child, annoying crying for the life you demand. Alas, this will pass like glass and sand And you will be dealt with by our creators and Karma's hand.

Karma tic lullabies Part 2 (The Art of Self Defeat)

Justicea slow time Thinking this is it a slow rhyme I live in the moment You live to die.. I live to make life You live to cry.. The winds havent changed but wailing woman has Stayed the same.. Shallow be thy name Ignorant to your mind frame A crook.. And karma thief A liar and a woman made in the street You think I dont know your game But Ive played it very well You think I dont know magic But I know it very well You think you love me But its lust You are a flea in which none can trust A judge I am not A fool I am not But you still see the wounds The weight that you carry

Cannot be let go of that easily Hide you true intentions Through smiles and quotes Quiet before the storm An actor on lifes stage begging to perform This is my dream.. And your nightmare You are the past and I am the future Moving in sequence to your mistakes The words you wish you could say But youre too proud to say them Sweet words to make me fall for you But youve dug the hole youve fallen into The dirt all over your face Karma is justice time equal to space

Karmatic Lullbies Part 3 (The Art of Self Lament) I feel naked as if my body is exposed Deformed.. unable to move the way I always have.. Alone.. for this is fate.. Blinded by nothingness.. Broken.. Stung by razors.. The cure in needles running low.. Night time brings fear into my dreams At a loss for words.. nothing can make me For I don't think.. I just act upon the quietness of darkness The shadows have enveloped me to where I can't see The Horizon is blank.. unable to mold my form To the point where at heavens gate I can't perform The blood drips.. yet I haven't been cut.. Inside is ruined.. for this is what was told to the sands of the real.. the stones hitting my flesh The water has turned brown and black holding nothing back...nothing to show Hope is fading as nothing is concrete The truth hurts..so I stopped searching for it. Words heal.. but my wounds lie upon and fresh. The list grows as does my contempt Feeling a loss.. A place lost in innocence Tears have dried... So has the blood.. And I am there to deal with two halves of less of a person.. a demon less than that of a dog.. I have judged those that suck the blood of others yet I lay helpless to stop them.. Alone...Hated.. Judged..just dead Yet, I feel like I must continue.. in darkness the worse is yet to come Death is laughing at me yet, I will have the last laugh.. I can't let the winds change.. For I have changed.. You may see your sins..but no one else can Mine are visible for all to see Nothing..it's what we have become.. Scared..Demented...Dissolved.. Banished like the pain.. you wish you could feel. Let me share it with you..

A handle on life worth slipping through my grasp I said too much to cover my tracks..along a path of broken glass and nails Yet, the road is still there with the ghosts Taunting me.. making me feel more like you..Dead..Alone..Saddened by the way you go..Hungry.. for the knowledge that is less than filling Naked..Left to view for the world to judge Have you no answer? Have you no logic? Where your path ends... Mine lies vacant.. Crossed into the abyss Follow me.. If you can.. Holding true the holes to a half eaten soul Scarred by regret and disgust of what I have seen. The end.. a figure with no life staring back at me... Wanting to see my demise in the Devil's eyes.

Karmatic Lullabies Part 4 ( The Art Of Self Awaking) Open your eyes.. The answer is there staring back at you The way was not easy but your here now.. You are beautiful... You don't see it? It's a shame to be stuck in the past.. with no leg to stand on You can't be sad forever Samsara is not the way you want to go.. You are ashamed of the beauty of yourself I pity you.. The sun beams in lights of glory Yet, You stay in darkness Alone.. Afraid.. Never willing to let it go.. Open yourself to love.. Let the good times roll Roll with them.. You aren't alone you are just in a box I feel bad I can't save you.. But I tried to help.. it's up to you now Jump up and hold your head high Be proud of the person you have become The Night is over The day is here Stop... Breath... Don't fall victim to yourself You will only end up where you began.. This isn't it.. This isn't the way you should live Wake up.. Be good to yourself.. The answer will always be with you.. You can deny it You can destroy it.. Whatever you see fit.. But it's there wanting to help you.. Open the door to your new life.. Come back to those that cared Stop trying to hide or act tough For we all need help sometimes You think you are made of stone? Even stone crumbles by the winds of change

Let yourself go Become what you want.. The sun rises for you The moon is there to lay with you at night This is what you need Don't let the small things become big things It's not over.. You have so much But you have to see it to believe it Awake! Be mindful of your actions for they are your thoughts.. Rise up! Stop! Step back and let the new dawn touch you...

Keep Moving yo keep writing I got keep moving otherwise thoughts from your head you are losing the good times the bad times the in between shadowed by your doubts like smoke screen not me to waste words on things that have no volatility I'm like cancer just try and get rid of me so I keep the words flowing like the ocean keep them changing like a woman's emotion the pen and I are too light headed to get dreaded and stayed deeply embedded with poets and priests, professors and professional geeks change to the same like each week you can't censor a person who won't let himself die if I gave up that would be a giant lie not only to those who write poetry and prose and tied up like a yard hose with barred flows keep moving like a fugitive this is real life its up for you to live so stop crying and making a scene you are living a nightmare and I'm living a dream...

Letting Go of what you love! The sins of a man made the same mistakes can't stick to the plan that's why you stay home and live with the fam I just do want I do and do what i can obviously Im selfish ornery and selfless, even the robots with no soul felt this listen to the howls of primate Im belt it Why we so stupid to make the same mistakes? Been spited on just to get the cakes of my self esteem which falls like snow flakes I just do what i can a do what it takes it not enough so now I got to wait for the fakes to take your to that right mind state if its meant to be its called fate, others too early but Im way to late to make the same mistake will she get raped? no she just lose some great all because emotions, left right in the dust moving to my own notions give me the anti love potions, blinded by my own devotions Its sad to think that I lost her once again thats the life I got munsened in bad habits hard to break want to a dunnleman the painful feelings that we got bundled in alas I speak to deaf ears with set tears, and met fears of my peers and the people I've loved for years but aren't here to adhere to the way things go all I do is all know and I messed up and I did that fo sho like sho nuff, with a soft flower just way too rough, with the love and touching stuff, thought she loved me but i called her bluff maybe i wasn't meant to understand that's enough for a grown man to weep, my feelings and don't come cheap just like a warrior doesn't come weak because of this I lose sleep catch grief and compromise my beliefs my mind got twisted used to be loved and gifted and now I m broke and lifted dumb hurt and shifted to a different polarity begging for you back but I want clarity just too real and that's why its scaring me

because I see it wide and she's see it narrowly wish this was a joke some kind of parody but its not so I drop to my knees and give honey to the bees a beg god that I might be free of all this sadness and pain that she did to me or will I live to see a love the will never be when I touched her it made her feel heavenly came up lightly but I fell heavily always her never me always me and never her too blind too see that there not hate just love for you and me not you and I but we this my locked heart and here's the key.. Before you get your draw your own conclusions just realize that my head if filled with fusions and dumb hopes and illusions enough to make me join an institution give up this idea and move to prostitution but all got is time with Yola and the Mugen starshootin and sample lootin, macbootin and simple solutions of pain loopin, got played like ballers hoopin This is the stress on your mans dislex from far west to back down to the girls I've blessed with sex and internal muscle flex got me perplexed for the life's test of love the man best, and women's pest, made to infest and settle for less peddle for another quest while we remain the best for each other, opened pandora box now run for cover because you love her and she's melting you like butter no wonder you can't get under Fuck it dude go find another! go buy some rubbers, diss her and get the cookie cutter grab her like a bowling ball and throw her in the gutter...

Listless Aloof Listless tasteless holding together sometime that is not there Emotionless.. Stateless with out thought or mind Left alone to fend for themselves We grow stronger not to be let down by our doubts Hanging.. Willows greatness is not measured in money but in merit Heightened senses Defend yourself against the elements Brawny weak and holding it down doesn't matter who you are just do it why does poetry make me feel real? creations lions at Daniels den Can I ever really be alone? Work with your hands to achieve greatness they've done it all before The wind may tell you what path to follow but you find the way Thoughtless Voiceless letting things go the way they should Does everything happen for a reason? Mindless senseless the list goes on yet I am still listless on my own..

Little Cousin

Little prima, look inside and see your beauty Your youth is fading but you are still young Little prima, Stop Crying, Hes gone and theres nothing we can do. Too many dusty Arizona roads to go down, either death or prison seems to be our relatives fate. Not yours Prima, this will never be your fate. You cant blame yourself for the way things are, you are so beautiful on the outside and inside and strong with feelings and voices that you can never hide. Your mother was proud and her pride beauty and pride live through your eyes. Life is loving each other and accepting, as he takes the bullets, as your mother succumbs to cancer or your brother loses his head. How could you still be here lighting the lights being the stars and the moon in the night. You were raised to beautiful to let yourself go little prima you are stronger than any man and woman combined and Im humble to have you in the family of mine. We never had an identity but I could identify with you. You cant hear the words as they cant walk dont our paths let God judge those ones our paths are different. We are the reasons for which they cant explain you are the face of defiance you protect yourself like a bombshell with the readiness to explode Youre the only one I have looked up to for the darkness in which you have been through and the light that you have become out of it. Little Prima You are my family and the strongest woman I know one that is made of stone and fire the one who is as feminine as a flower but as strong and powerful as the desert sun in which beats down the this complex schism called a life. They just ignore you and never asked how you felt I cant measure your pain with words but can only feel the wordless regret that I should have been there when you needed someone Little prima dont give up the fight, dont stop loving the little thing you are the light in which keeps us alive they may not understand you but I do! I can feel your pain from 1000 miles away here in the Land of Enchantment it burns inside of me as I know the pain that was the same as those in our family that have lost their brains and lived in this divided society We can never give up and you must live for your children and there hopes and dreams, You are the light that keeps me going and you must keep them going and show the world your beauty. Your mothers strength and how the can never put your spirit in restraints.

Long Aware and Awake The environment I live in is one never forgiven My friends perished in the life before it was written. I often think about the ones I've lost they arent never really gone Our minds are distant ,ether eternal and lost in the memories of photos and dreams. The way it could it have been but now your are gone but never really dead To me it's just a long while The times may change and chance may stay the same I could never forgive the way things go but I can hope that life will treat you better a distant thought I wonder if you can hear what I say? from so far away?

Loss of Faith One day you wake up and think you know it all the next you're testing your faith like Job I can't seem to get it right maybe I try to hard to walk down a path that wasn't meant for me spent all of last night awake with a migraine and back pain instead of feeling good. Hasn't my hard work paid off? Nah, its just made me a better critic. It's funny how we all wanted freedom but we can't find the way to move in the right direction I figured I had it made. I had a plan but today I realized that I'm far off from what I want It takes one night of feeling pain to realize your mistakes I can't sleep maybe its a sign thinking everything was fine when it was just a matter of time before I could see the same patterns in front of my face I don't know what the future holds and I can't speak for others but this is a test of my faith all the prayers I laid down all the hopes I hoped for have brought me closer to nothing than ever before now I sit in this room alone in my passion thinking of what I've done wrong in all aspects of a so called life one filled with pain that I can't explain it's ok we all go on this journey alone I'm nobody special this isn't only about me this is the truth the one that is hard to accept but maybe its for the better to take a step back and try to learn how to act better how to live better how to not beat myself up or allow myself to go through this anymore Maybe my ancestors see more than I ever could maybe its time to stop making the same mistake a new way to vindicate myself for the mistakes of the past

Love is not a day We Americans are silly, stylish fools Making days to express the ways to feel accepted and cool. Shouldn't everyday be a day of love instead of candy flowers from up above? To say you care is only half the battle but to really feel it on the inside you get rattled. Do you feel what I feel? Just love for human beings.. when did it have to be superficial Super imposed and shoved in your face. Can't I just show my love, every day. To those that saved my life. to the one that gave me birth to the one your raised me and those who put up with me. Why is everything a greeting card? Why can't it be and everyday thing? Do you really have to make the lonely ones feel more lonely cause they dont have a date? Cupid is an asshole Shooting people who don't deserve it He's lazy because he only works one day a year. Instead of full time like he should. When did chocolate replace real emotion?

and how did poetry only really matter on one stupid day. Lets not forget that we can say I love you everyday to those that mean it.

Mirrored Look in the mirror what do you see? I've forgotten myself but I know me.. Look inside and you may find you don't know who's looking back at you for the time that goes. Look away for the person staring at you may be too much for you to handle Too ugly.. Too Pretty.. Too much for my naked eyes. Theses tattoos mark a the waves in my life going up and down These scars and bullet wounds won't ever heal Look at yourself for you are all too real. Can you see yourself looking away trying to hide the way. The wounds of a human that can stand the sight of themselves Can you see yourself without light ? Do you know what it is to be Or to see what others see I'm too blind to know how I look I can't see my own image And if God created me in it why do I feel so ugly? Why can't I see past the blemishes and scars of time. Gone too far maybe they can't see themselves either Maybe I'm not the only one.. But I can't see the road ahead Only the tunnel which is my dark eyes can see nothing When I look in the mirror there is no one there. Just a soul finding a form. Just a set of eyes trying to see beyond our problems Look in the mirror what do you see?

Face Transplant

Hot fireballs treat the earth as a punching bag while you believe these lies in your local rag its the way we go makes the sky sad or to remise of false thoughts that we once had why can't you even be real for a second? You claim to be but in the calamity your just messing but you refuse to face me as a man and face me for who I am. You rather keep me hush hush to expose the hole in your logic , you claim to have lyrical artillery but I've dodged it. Im real enough to admit Im wrong ya feeling me but you'd rather lie just to string me along instead of face the real me It's true you never took me seriously so we parted ways but the sour taste in my mouth still stays, you call yourself a leader but your really a fake with no face your like the world 20yrs from now rotten with no space or like an orphaned child with no place, you aren't original your copy and paste buck 65 wannabe can even face a man honorably to take a real apology, whatever you do I make sure that no one follows me and for not remembering why would I? when its all about yourself and the other guys Im just there for the name and the ride would have been the one to hold you if you died but you couldn't face me so all you did was hide this is the way friends turn from the tracks the burn and the act the learn from the meeting that was never adjourned oh well I guess I must learn that what I did is wrong the weakest link kicked out for not remembering a song or free styling on stage for too damn long I'd rather be myself than be your pawn! I never wanted to battle you because I never wanted to rattle you just hang with the crew but you strait dissed so were through makes sense when you do what I do I know I was in the wrong but you never let me move on never wanted us to get along always fighting cause my brain is as quick as lighting Your style ain't that rare like a ufo sighting the sad abuse of power to me its frightening but that's the way music turns human relations while Im angry so I heat up sizzling like bacon

and dont take this as me hatin but Im tired of waitin for a response a crew lead by a carbon copy and idiot savants. you a little kid saying what he wants while a poor man acts rich when he flaunts

Skipped If you are reading this I skipped a page. I live in a world of glass boxes You can't skip to go. The world we see sometimes isnt the one we live in.

Faded Colors In turn they term their terms moving from on and another like germs swinging from vines placed in lack of time Maybe I should have moved quicker Maybe I shouldn't have moved at all. The weight on my shoulders only makes me wonder. Why? Why I ever tried. Why I ever tried to be something I'm not in order to please you. Instead I lost you and a part of myself. An old wound manifested through a new thougt. The colors may fade but I will still stand the test of time. The reasons that you've never seen the differnet side of me. It was a long confusing process to not turn away when they ran away. To see the inside before the blame. To see the monster before the game Reget? No only jealously the fact that I should have been the one. But I ponder sleepless Us and them

is it even worth considering when you never saw me the first time around. Alone but along the banks it buys me time before hitting the concrete. A fading hope that maybe one day it could have been more than just friends. More than lazy talks and stupid thoughts a pipe dream really for a painters mind left to find ways of painting sorrow. Inside

Hot Rocks Words slam down like hot rocks. Verbs are used for battles and shields artillery for thenext sentences. I get lost in paragraphs and fine lines, as rhyme is adefunct and broke as grind time. These local rappers, These local rappers so like moco crappers with these local yokels,all too vocal, never think global. In a box very basic lets face it they suck. Every other word is N and FK! In the land of trash, wasted. Copied and Pasted/ in badtaste with/ , profanity and vanity/ in calamity with more stuff thatsbeen combed than Hannity/. And Sean is still mad at me/ for the infiltration oftheir academy /and his sister Natalie,/ but actually/ they speak in terms nonfactually when speaking of my faculty/,but their rhymes are made a factory/ by a man, who was put there in a can,downtown, So many just say Im down. Im not a good person, or a different version of a man. or so Ive told myself./ But Im better thanmyself /with myself/ by myself/. They are failing because they dont knowthemselves/ or throw themselves anywhere near themselves /near anopportunity by themselves /so they stayby themselves /and I myself stay surrounded, I get high but I stay grounded,frame founded, tested proofed a sounded, like a great chorus of angles watch meturn the angles for the that angle the mangled so our distorted vision seesthat youve changed though.

From Time From time's end to the very beginning we've been losing instead of winning Frowning instead of grinning Shooting and watch the world spinning the pains in my stomach have returned just like the bad karma that I burned am I that dumb to where I never learn? the ways of the way to life which is no concern of the lackluster whack buster I love her but I can't trust her so I fight with my emotions that we can't muster up to the grain feeling all these hunger pains to defame the vain that give sight to the lame insane to maintain stolen artifacts where my friend got smacked and taxed like men of the past made to out last the fast weight of verbiage and 22 catch clearing out my brain like you clear out a cache but my knowledge expands beyond that thats smashed and re broken some words are better left spoken in another tongue but then I've lost everyone to the heat of the sun, and the shine of a cop guns just a quick as a bullet so I stop one with the strongest muscle in my body the tongue soft enough to get the hottest girl sprung and cause warfare like attila the hun the competition is a hot dog weenies with out the bun children with out a way to have fun but I digress the stress embedded in the dollars we invest to live my life blessed by breast of universal texts and natural tests of creed,race and sex but our blood shows it the best all red, leaving you to think for yourself before you're all dead cause mc s nowadays are like the top of kegs all head and no body or soul

how could you even say that your whole or say your the best before you know? but alas I verbally beat your ass remove the mask from the task of outlasts and outcast the outlived the past from the holy fast and the lowly slow what runs through my head if you'd ever know, the waves that catch the undertows lifeless like the wind the blows, or the ignorance that we all show to ourselves that that Im saddened by the way you go but it's not your fault that you've been sifted through the machine that has shifted from stun to kill the rate of society being on the right track is one to nil that's why blood runs from the hill to the top of the window sill the bottom of the grill where all grease lies and I beat lies, with truth which defies, bloodshot eyes from foreign skies where god is the prize for the world all to ready to mechanize the divide of american pride in great stride........(dot dot dot) I wish we would just stop stop stop the systematic killing of ourselves on a burial plot from the person the time forgot Ourselves refugees from orion belt the land before the sun made it melt the feelings that we had felt all real too fake to be dealt like poker cards and blackjack games we made to act and knock us off track from the people mistakes that we learned from way back Love is just more than getting you in the sack but to twist your mind as well as bend your back make you think before you act I just thought I'd tell you that I one of the many reasons I wont take you back You need to learn that life is beyond that So I tried my hardest to spit facts, and give you a purpose but you refused that and gave my face a slap, while I smiled and dealt with your crap life with you was a series of mousetraps, serious mishaps and and finger snaps while I would defend you would attack, this was normal for you because you never had a real man adore you

all I did was fuck you and bore you instead of diss you and ignore you and Im sore too from all the pain you cause my brain I thought without you that I couldn't sustain life without you I hated that time frame To you its just a game because so other dudes treated you lame, now you want me back while all this bad energy hangs Some people never change now Im saddened by the way you go cause the women I loved were all hoes I was the 2nd choice, to the smoke in her voice the hybrid instead of the rolls royce the loser always wins over the ones the make points for a women who cant think logically so with this i anoint I love you but it will never work, because you want me to be jerk when I would give it all to you even my shirt, be you need me to be a dick when so the you can get wet and squirt then be nice and flirt then hate me when you get hurt No ya basta, that;s it so you can pop you top manana I don't wanna go through the same drama From Time From time's end to the very beginning we've been losing instead of winning Frowning instead of grinning Shooting and watch the world spinning the pains in my stomach have returned just like the bad karma that I burned am I that dumb to where I never learn? the ways of the way to life which is no concern of the lackluster whack buster I love her but I can't trust her so I fight with my emotions that we can't muster up to the grain feeling all these hunger pains to defame the vain that give sight to the lame insane to maintain stolen artifacts where my friend got smacked and taxed like men of the past made to out last the fast weight of verbiage and 22 catch clearing out my brain like you clear out a cache

but my knowledge expands beyond that thats smashed and re broken some words are better left spoken in another tongue but then I've lost everyone to the heat of the sun, and the shine of a cop guns just a quick as a bullet so I stop one with the strongest muscle in my body the tongue soft enough to get the hottest girl sprung and cause warfare like attila the hun the competition is a hot dog weenies with out the bun children with out a way to have fun but I digress the stress embedded in the dollars we invest to live my life blessed by breast of universal texts and natural tests of creed,race and sex but our blood shows it the best all red, leaving you to think for yourself before you're all dead cause mc s nowadays are like the top of kegs all head and no body or soul how could you even say that your whole or say your the best before you know? but alas I verbally beat your ass remove the mask from the task of outlasts and outcast the outlived the past from the holy fast and the lowly slow what runs through my head if you'd ever know, the waves that catch the undertows lifeless like the wind the blows, or the ignorance that we all show to ourselves that that Im saddened by the way you go but it's not your fault that you've been sifted through the machine that has shifted from stun to kill the rate of society being on the right track is one to nil that's why blood runs from the hill to the top of the window sill the bottom of the grill where all grease lies and I beat lies, with truth which defies, bloodshot eyes from foreign skies where god is the prize for the world all to ready to mechanize the divide of american pride in great stride........(dot dot dot) I wish we would just stop stop stop

the systematic killing of ourselves on a burial plot from the person the time forgot Ourselves refugees from orion belt the land before the sun made it melt the feelings that we had felt all real too fake to be dealt like poker cards and blackjack games we made to act and knock us off track from the people mistakes that we learned from way back Love is just more than getting you in the sack but to twist your mind as well as bend your back make you think before you act I just thought I'd tell you that I one of the many reasons I wont take you back You need to learn that life is beyond that So I tried my hardest to spit facts, and give you a purpose but you refused that and gave my face a slap, while I smiled and dealt with your crap life with you was a series of mousetraps, serious mishaps and and finger snaps while I would defend you would attack, this was normal for you because you never had a real man adore you all I did was fuck you and bore you instead of diss you and ignore you and Im sore too from all the pain you cause my brain I thought without you that I couldn't sustain life without you I hated that time frame To you its just a game because so other dudes treated you lame, now you want me back while all this bad energy hangs Some people never change now Im saddened by the way you go cause the women I loved were all hoes I was the 2nd choice, to the smoke in her voice the hybrid instead of the rolls royce the loser always wins over the ones the make points for a women who cant think logically so with this i anoint I love you but it will never work, because you want me to be jerk when I would give it all to you even my shirt, be you need me to be a dick when so the you can get wet and squirt then be nice and flirt then hate me when you get hurt No ya basta, that;s it so you can pop you top manana I don't wanna go through the same drama

Feeling your Pain I wish I could take your pain away Just put your anguish in a jar and lock it away for you to see 30 years from now So you'd know how wrong you were. I can hear you crying, Screaming asking why? but I'm not there to make you feel better I'm in pain because you are. I can feel you I am part of those tears thru time and time we go through this cycle rinse wash repeat but you came back to show me something and now You're alone I wish I could hold you up into the sun Your son. You are the mother of what has no yet been. Between us I can feel it this us a connection to our past But you are far from ready with that.I can hear you crying.

I wish I could hold you block you from the pain so you didn't ever have to feel numb anymore I can hear you weeping Scared of moving on Doomed to repeat what I know you shouldn't Holding you up to the stars where you belong with me standing tall because you are great you just don't know it yet nor do you understand how far our paths cross into each others arms and eyes

Held High In a world where contempt is a way of life and hate is the way we make ourselves shielded Afraid of the reflections and of reflecting into the heavens where we once sat In stones gleaming out side where we were held high As I remember where the stars fell or the colors of these midnight skies the air around me and this technology, the smog that slowly kills us. I want to escape to a world where I can think clearly and listen to the sound of nothing I want to go where nature is the only thing you hear, rushing natural water, instead of out of a sink full of lithium and fluoride. Out there in god's country where spirits once roamed and the world around me meant something more than just a cheeseburger. It was a vision of greatness to look upon that sky up where my head is held high.

Ghost Song They say what they say mother told me not to play the games they play all is fair in war and love all are looking down from the sky above I am the last of gritty teethed smoke and concrete , alcohol and self fulfilled prophecies and poets feast the mind of a poet but the soul of a beast you are the one to show me but you say the least when the light touches my pen in illuminates it makes you feel the shake. of the way they rate only the belittled and irate the ghosts continue to walk these streets using there chains to play these beats but mother told me not meddle with the things I never understood the Black magic of the broken hoods so I countered my sequence with power in the hands of the good living in cardboard and broken wood the roll of a dice into a shady nightlife I lost a friend but gained a reason to hate the things they do cause they stopped to believe in a substance with no substance

the accustomed to flushing in a world where taboo keeps them blushing but they do it merely for rushing.

Hip Hop is Dead cause you Killed it Bitch Underground Hip Hop don't pay the bills.... The state of music is a solder killed If i had golden chains hanging Drugs slanging thugs banging off my a fake six pack and a bad attitude like two pac, tons of women wearing next to nothing while i appear rich 1 but I am really buffing Dj play that beat back over and over and over Crystal and bitches sober and sober Bitch I m fly, bitch Im high, Bitch I lies but I i can't fly and that jet in my video? well that's a lie thanks to digital unequivocal, subliminal way to destroy a whole culture give to the ones who love it blood for the vultures Big Giant Losers dressed in gold adored by all clothes backwards but can you hate on those who ball? Hot chicks getting pimped for their big asses What would Susan B Anthony say? to know that her girls act this way? Or kate stanton cody, to know that these girls get played out nice and phony wanting a daddy but still begging for some guy and his homies cause she's dumb nice and lonely, unloved screaming bone me! Is this what MLK got his ass beat for? Is this why Zapata fought for it ,so his grandchildren could adorn it The freedom The freedom to act like a dumb ass the Freedom to have no soul, just given out to nike, fubu, Ekco Just hold on or let go. The freedom to let your daughter act like a stupid whore and let everyone touch her private part hanging out feminism is DEad thanks to thongs and booty shorts and Gold as far as the eye could see! but you hear nothing from me All broadcast for the world to see, MTV, Bet, oh can you see go tell grandma oh girl, I got played out like a trick last night That's the truth at least.. while you are on your fourth child because moms wasn't a whore, she was just young and wild Or tell the kids the truth like and when I was locked up I cried the whole time instead of celebrate my crime like I said in this rhyme, where we stole the black mans lines, baggy pants cannot hide or stolen subculture and graffiti art is not a way to prove that your not a vandal

but to prove that this shit nowadays is something that you can't handle My Generation is a bunch of spoiled brats crying because it's just too easy I want you girl but its just too easy! You've been bad but your just too easy but your just too easy, and you've done everyone but me, way too easy too sleazy you needed a friend to send your misguided thoughts of how drunk and fucked you got how toss up, all those tattoos and tramp stamps, felonious champs, whose only knowledge of slam poetry is getting slammed by a poet , while her kid is asleep in the next room wondering whats that man doing to mommy? will you explain to your little girl that mom just made a series of bad mistakes and blames it on everybody else but her own lose morals held together by r kelly and usher lil kim and las vegas style sins and she says Im not a stripper just a dancer Im not a whore just like to drink I say Well then Im not a genius I just like to think That women were actually beautiful intelligent creatures with brains instead of walking disappointments with coke bottle frames not all of them are just a few bad apple bums too dumb to run for fun making the whole barrel suffer just a turkey waiting for the cook to stuff her.. Real Hip Hop is Dead!!

Black holed Dun For along time been an emcee, fighting Dj's at the dmc/, the end of it all would the respect still be? most honesty could never be made too free. made for a charge untruly, acting like they care although they are a little unruly. stick to working on yourself im a do me. get heated but I learned to calm down coolly. the time is now or never never is not an options, buried yourself in your own words without books to get lost in. if you making beats for free then then to yourself you get costing I spit out out negativity even tough I don't do it very often. Things might act up but even if they do I've never had a problem unless its things untrue. Terminating like I was swartzanegger in t2/ got you scared stiff like you was already in a coffin/ Slash dot e dot/ people hate us cause they don't have what we got shear talents to expand through the ages/ Tired of the poor life I can't work for slave wages/ cut my fingers so many times bleeding turning pages / While your smoking herbs Im studying them like knowing what sage is /and not francis/ I ain't Dorothy and this ain't Kansas / People destroy themselves as well as the planets/ tell yourself that this is what a man gets/ when acts out of line/ and get it right the first time/ if not the go back home and do crime/not to be confused with other rhymes/ Tired of holding my head down in the gutters/ I want some cheese bread and butter/ watch what you say don't act like I can't hear you mutter/I'm a do this track worse than your father did your mother/with out me in the game the southwest would know no other/ this rap for a my sisters and brothers/get that jelly like smothers/ but don't get to close unless you get burned/ the rules of engagement never ever change/ shooting you in the back at a close range/on the realness as real as it gets when the beast lays tamed/ be who you are but its hurts for the false/

the world as it is for the ones they exalt/ rulers and masters to me its all their fault my buried treasure never lies in a vault / but deep in a conscious movement moving forward in progression Humans are humane they are engrained to lessen / Due to status or wealth but that don't help the common man when he looks to help/ "Cause Im a emcee cold to the core De think what you've thought if you live anymore unlearn the lies they've taught you before. if not the the universe passed you by too dumb to ignore." Where I work is like an infested apartment too many rats aiming to get higher up in the department so they cut and scrape , rape and make tapes give them to the boss to decide your fate to all of you this goes to those you are fake leaving your mind in the pure uncut state. whatever happens is the path I take you were born in the wrong time to late for just assumptions and inclinations people turn sides like radio stations flee the scene like immigrant Haitians making flows expand like bush did with inflation It's a hard time to be living in shame while most of your friends just think it's a game

the rest believe lies right out of the plane the beauty of nature they did they're best to mame/ Me and my compatriots / Fuck you dawg if you hating this this like drugs and the shit the lace it with the sour taste before you've even tasted it wasted with/ the official lies and the 9/11 myth expelled like I was exploding like an ovarian cyst Instead of drinking expensive beer and cris you can suck my dick and drink my piss this is for all of you and all of this expensive to your life as a death kiss the last illegal alien you want to mess with "Cause Im a emcee cold to the core De think what you've thought if you live anymore unlearn the lies they've taught you before. if not the the universe passed you by too dumb to ignore."

Crippling pain Just bleeding on a letter just to feel better but i feel worse as the spirit of death comes with a hearse invade my tomb feel my curse just like in the streets they felt my work Old notions are thing of the past forgives while i die inside each day the lost ones live I mean Im lost on the skids so much that when I look in the mirror i don't know who it is. My eyes lost a gleam in spent too many days dreamin of monsters, lowlifes criminals and demons while my mind keeps leaning towards the dark side of the spectrum damned in a box to get checked in saw the devil on the path of hell saying step in I have nothing to save me not even a weapon my soul is eaten away by the grief and you've lost me like an atheists belief the life that I lived was way to cheap just to live another day they ruined my feet so unless the devil in hells gate

just to give his only son bounce in his gait the world is my for the taking and I just can't wait to flood the ones that snubbed my with torture and hate Im a destructive force in the universe made to make your life worse I want you to feel pain I want you to hurt like I do,I want u to feel dirt but all these specimens are nothing more than excrement to the dislexican and I will murder the rest them through soft lyrics and hard pain its sight to watch the blood drain of these dud veins locking my victims in chains I need to be with people with tumors in there brains even though things are rugged and plain So I needled myself to wild heart that you can't change cut you so hard that blood is gushing out like a broken water main Inside to deal with the pain but it takes more to stay positive in your brain. Even if those around you change the life and journey hard road to travel I stay grounded like the gravel

for the time I spent making it a reality where most make excuses for the fallacies

I cant but I can I can't live like this hurting myself The best in the world haven't seen what I've felt Although you say I may fell sorry for myself It goes deeper than that.. You could never understand where I am at. You can wash your hands of me like that will be that. No matter how many of those claim to have your back I want to let this go ,cause it's killing my insides But I suffer alone maybe too much pride. Tried talking to someone but they said I was bringing it all on my own. As long as I'm there no matter how many people there are I'm always alone. I don't pity myself but regret what I had.. I've felt better on days to see the places and the ways that its stands But you could never understand. Have you had to walk in the broken shoes off beat to the rhythms? How many times I can't find a person to get it like a sad algorithm? It's not a riddle nor a way for you to feel sorry for me this is the pain you've never had to bear As humans we all suffer but you aren't there And thought they've all moved on I never forgot to carry the torch getting burned by my emotions when I settle to the ground Maybe its time to find away to change but I contrition my actions with stupid words Held accountable for those that won't understand my nouns and verbs It fine this is the place is where I put myself and run into the herds I could never be like you want me to be I tried Every time I saw you move on a part of me died That's the way I live because men never cried so I bleed the way that I left myself inside Cut like glass for wounds that medicine bears Even then no one cared... So I fought this battle all by myself to find that I had to change but I fear the first step leaving behind what I felt was game This isn't all I ever felt but they wont understand until I've been the different I can no longer bear these wounds self inflicted for someone else I can no longer pour my soul into something that cannot give me what I need As long as your happy then I can't feel too bad but the life I lead is a lonely dark path wanting to forgot. The memories are too good. Excuse after excuse will never change how I feel So alas under the stars smoking my life away. I am saddened by the way you go. But that's life and along the line I must learn to forgive

myself these dreams must stop for I am in love with a dream Far away moving along by herself I must learn and live for myself but I can't get over how I'm saddened for losing you But it's gone now like so many ideas that I wasted Gone because I was too much and knew too little So this should tell you where I'm going while still I'm saddened by the way you went Away from me... The future I ruined by being sad all because of the past I couldn't forget... These dreams that are never going to be Under the skies saddened by the way you went...

Id Like to I'd like to write you a poem But I know you dont like to read. I'd like to spit you a verse. But I don't think you've heard me rap. I'd like to draw you but I have no pen. I'd like to be with you until the end. All I ask for is time to try while you live in a thousand reasons why. I'd like to open up. But its stranger to meet someone you know whose like a stranger. I'd like to tell you how I feel. But I know you've heard it all before. I like to do alot. But really its more than that. I'd like to stop talking and start doing. Stop pining and start winning I'd like know where I stand in my eyes before I know where I stand in yours. I'd like to stop for a moment and realize my motives (Pause) Ok, I realized them so can we just skip the bullshit and move on?

Gone A window is an opening to the mind for all I see is illusions and grandeur and those that jump to conclusions When you try your hardest you fail When you desire you lose This is troubling to a human mind bordering on the divine that stops to rhyme. Gone is the old way of the pain that my mother carried Gone is the hate of something I could never change I didn't want this life it was given to me and made for me to miss out on alot For the light never glowed brighter than it does now Dog whistle language speaking in terms that spread too many dimensions that leave the reader to question. Who am I? Am I a thought? or a person with no boundary that is only suspect to his or her own demise I didn't choose this way. Nor did it choose me. As my brother Mugen would say " It just worked out that way" So in turn I sat floating in the sand trying to grasp the wind only to lose balance and fall and when they found my body they picked me up and rebuilt what I once was.

Happyness is.. Even tough things are bad I know It will get better.. I've been though hell and back my brothers and sisters have been there with me My brother is right " You prayed for it, they heard it, Move on" It's hard to let go, but it feels good to live again Truly I am happy for what I have The ability to express myself The words are like raindrops helping the seeds in your mind to grow. I wish I could wipe all the sadness away like a dry erase board but I can't I have to just move on. No stone unturned.. No live un lived I'm living my dream just haven't seen it till now It's good like that To know that people care.. to know your family is always there Holding you up when you feel down I wish I could do the same I want to be selfless instead of selfish I want to listen instead of hearing what I want to hear It takes time for me to break these habits so that I can learn how to be like my brothers true sprits helping those along their paths asking for nothing in return. I once knew a man that said " Life is what you make it, so I made mine good like this" I saw he was happy and I wished I could be like him He said " It's ok you'll figure it out" And I did I saw that I could no longer hide from myself and be in darkness I saw the past for what it was and what I wanted My sister once told me that I'd always have family so now I want to be there for you all. Times are tough but my spirt is tougher I can't fix problems but I can do the first step shut up and listen.. This is what happiness is.. being true to yourself and your friends Being the best person you could be Forgiving those that have wronged you and living each day like a new one Loving each other living for each other and helping those that need it. Living in the moments which are slipping away. Peace.

Iliterati (original written version)

My works are like my children. I guard them like a mother would if her cubs The Lone wolf.. Fuck your literary clubs Our language is fresh in development like a baby in the womb So I hope you take these words to your tomb Your cheap clichs of poetry in motion and the art kept progressive Dont apply here theyre still waiting in the unemployment line for the mental stimulus checks. Every time I think of these people that are going to school to learn the English or what they think is everything academic And at first of all think this is all about them. We they ask Like how do you write poetry? I think of my brothers like Murullo and others that say I just do. And you simply wont do and what I do with my words come from deeply rooted emotional problems, and observations of human life in modern times whether they be from a poverty prose or race rants put to rhyme it comes from good writers like Mark Twain and Hemmingway and a few others understood from the very beginning is that poets are insane. Crazy lunatics with deep pain. Soul filled verses like Soul Verse is But you literati work like Pilates While I rhyme about race and poverty Kicking it like karate with my intellectual property

You cant even respect us moderately so I need these majors to do me a favor

In Our Kreators Eyes Into the starry abyss, I light some sage and smoke my tobacco I think about how we were made they say in God's Image but could God be this cruel? Famine, Destruction and unhappiness as we see it. A mirror broken on the inside Into the cold deserts where my ancestors roamed before horses and Spanish churches and mass murders Could God's children kill their own family even if they arent the same color Into the sand laden paradise where wounds heal No longer can you hear Eagle call his people Wolf is too scared to tell you why he's hiding and Owl is too scary for me to look at I think of how we were made In water, and sweat, of course tears the making of Man and Woman Grand Father and Grand Mother A savage call for your God's safety. A broken cross, as I watch people wearing their God around their necks as if it were a medal a medal of war

a medal of the way we were told to think In my kreators eyes We are nothing I've never been perfect. Broken Disabled Disconnected Unloved.

Ego not working where do I begin? I'm surrounded by egos Giving the word a he ho this world is a trash bin of wannabes and has beens Talkers and no action Game and no attraction Who says your better than I when you were created guy? Your ego is annoying and it's killing me to be around and all the groupies everywhere want to be down this why I'm like the ground hog and keep it underground Don't need people following me cause of the manipulation of sound These people are dick riders for anyone who's a writer or people who spark the mic like a lighter like the leash that holds you its harder when its gets tighter I'm done with people that talk more shit than runs and hold jokes and puns for those that are thinking they are like that of the sun so like a veggie burger I got no beef but I hold the deep belief that you're the new flavor of the week and in the end your character is weak It's a disrespect when you act like you are doing me a favor when I'm the one helping out you like one my neighbors And no I won't get back my radio show so you can be my friend for an hour and just go on living talking about how good you are when you just a man at night cringing at the sight of me and the fight for selling your merch for free Your ego is not working so history will absolve my while I'm lurching like a demon in my head perching for times I to this art I am asserting dominance with this art of mine you think you better than me we could go line for line time for time to find where you lost your head upon the timeline in fine grime and rhyme signs with my ego in which is non existent and blind just like your eyes ears and mind

So I offer you to expand it before your style gets handed and critiqued for people who's outlook is beyond belief yet that is the was of a egomaniac who's time is a bead on the sweat of the ass of mother time. Lost in Line

In The End In the end Im so self conscious I feel like in the end they going to bomb us They find ways to take money and con us They find ways to piss us if then Calm us In the end I feel so useless Sometimes I get woken up like how I'm gonna do this? And Sometimes I feel so used this is what its like when you've been abused My mind is better alone never been fused Last time it was like recycling I've been reused This life never gets better only harder And life is a gamble made to barter living it hard when I live to charter Live like this is gonna make me smarter Or at least this is what I tell myself Sometimes is so hard to get up here and sell myself Stress is killing me inside fucked my health Tried to be stoic but that no myself So I tried to find a medium to be your example But the pressure crushed my soul that I couldn't handle So here I go on the same path as most men do Live the life or die going through The choice ain't nobodies but you And in the end we all have nothing So stopping yourself to do something This is my life and there aint no refunds no take backs on the d son so do it again karma style like rerun and rise to a new life like a new sun In the end this all I got left all I want deaf all I flaunt rests in my hands its the soul thats the best settle for nothing less better for me and this fucking stress

Crushed Vocals I felt hurt like the slashed my jugular vein I hate this shit like my own government name Im a sad so naturally Im loving the pain While I leave you severed and lame They say Go back! to were you came from Can't do that cause my people came from the sun and if you ask me you God is i will say only one portion of our power like the shine of a gun but you don't understand the way ancients will most of the children were vanquished tried to blame myself and the people I hang with I was born this way no away I could change it weak legs strong mind not ready to break I want to show you all that we got it takes I could walk naked in the valley of snakes and stop the earth as it begins to shake Certain things in my life have yet to tame thats fine to me I was born with game yet in hindsight I want to be as fast as train but I can't because Im might explode your brain before you ever try to digest these words will make the dumb regress in to pro-to life forms and organisms with less capacity of the world made of stress to offend your all 4 of your senses leaving your defense defenseless breakable unbent to bend this and charge rent to the rent less yo my body is restless with the time I lack and most hear this rhyme they might want to turn back

In the Eyes of Men I ponder the fatal existence of man An eye for a eye inside you cut me and I bleed Darken like turmeric I get ready for battle For your concessions are too late. I see the four legged smarter than us. For we have lost ways of jealous and intelligence. I am only a dream a thought a mechanism Trying to survive in this outward one world economy My blood shall not be spilled in vain over the days i fought for you. A fading existence , a life no longer live an excuse and almost clear cut sadness that we simply wont ever be more that just animals, trying to find a way to survive. More than stats or charts and graphs. More than prophecies and blood baths The true animal inside. Theyll try to bring it out in you. Unless you find control.

In the fire You're only as strong as you let yourself Staying up forgiving so don't sweat yourself These roads had no meaning only if they could talk they would tell you to get up and stop dreaming My words are the house and the fire I see I've built myself to tear myself down I'm stronger than those who supposed life was made to open and close lets no complicate the wait of our mental and spiritual states while most regret and live in past mistakes I want to go far so I cut the cancer from my skin It's a brand new day to forget my sins for all that is wrong in my life allow me to make it right Float to the highest point only to feel that you are half way there live for the moment because all and all no matter what it ain't fair Your only as strong as you think you are people are not higher than stars With the Tiger's eye I see myself and as much of the pain I felt Feeling good never felt like this and in freedom its and why I relive my stress My battles aren't over but I've called a truce because I can hate myself no longer so cut the abuse I do more with my mind escaped and on the loose and let those who wronged themselves tightened the noose No gold at the end of the tunnel it rest deep within if you can't see that then that's where I've been In the spirit of the fire where everything is holy live for yourself thats what the abuelos told me Hate and jealousy that was the old me so now a days I live for myself fuck the homies even thought I still care I was rung out until I could see myself and stare into the lights and to see my soul it was once dark now its bright this medicine can turn you inside out and outside in take you for a ride and show you where its been it can heal this sick and rid you of sin but you must make that choice No longer am I hanging with demons and devils no longer will I drown with others I will walk the path with my real sisters and brothers Feed the good wolf and fuck the bad living never felt so good for what I had Sacrifice is watching you tongue the beauty in a ritual

and a ceremony of one breath one mind praying in the fire In the spirit of the fire the demons where gone Hurting myself it was always wrong my words chosen like chess pieces waiting for my next move the world beyond myself never intrude a rebirth like a newborn fresh and nude even sherlock homes couldn't find a clue but its there in the fire in the spirit inside sit up straight your face you can't hide you can build a wall of lies but it will tumble upon you and destroy your being the first time I haven't used my eyes for seeing In the spirit of the fire where everything is holy and sacred I must stand as a man and suffer on my own deal with this as I live to be shown the path of life and the bath of light this is no longer a fight but a time to remember who you are and where you are going I'm going I'm getting there Im there. Im here. Im Everywhere..

Free thinking will These reeds have moved in the wind. As I wish to fly like a leave in a current away from the pack. A dark alley, menacing concrete constantly constructed to fight the growing pains. A nation lost in dogma and ideals. A false god that we worship The signs have crossed leaving the constitutions of beings to be questioned by the benign. The hopes and dreams of millions rests not on the shoulders of governments but on the thoughts of a higher focus. Around the fire I sit, sick from society Trying, to grasp the earth for solace. Cruel worlds have been the very destruction of my soul yet, I find peace in the pain I felt to get here. I wish to escape the confines of a dull life lonely, and exact hopeful yet troublesome indeed I am in the making staring at the stars in all their glory feeling drained from the chains that go around my neck the next move? To free myself before freeing others as I see the fire in your eyes burning lightly as sage I hope to attain your convictions on a realization that not all who wander are lost, just merely finding themselves in a world of the unknown

Contemplation of the past To think I lived in it. Sat there and tried to enjoy While treaties were broken and tobacco was laid down as our weapons were turned against us. You and I are different people My warriors don't fight like yours. Named in tireless bloodshed For the forefather that died on these grounds Useless massacres of dead ideas Many died for fallen nations non existence because of deception The misconception of a tireless effort to erase the truth the world we see yet shouldn't comment on the world alive as imperfect as it seems a thought merely of an uncertain past and a shaky future yet to come. Or Come too soon?

Bittersweet I've been thinking for a long time Same small patterns longer than the suns that shine Collected coins from old empires queen's lost in a Victorian stupor Greatness is never achieved through lamentation Too much is always a bad thing I leave that taste in your mouth so bittersweet We started out so well then the taste went sour like milk in the sun Feeling like it's my fault but I'm the only one the weight of knowledge only weighs as much as the beholder I tried to understand the future but I made the same mistake as I did in the past Alas, maybe next time in the next life I will get it right but until then I will sit here by the red apple cinnamon candle light The taste became to much to handle she tried to find a way out instead it was rotten and in himself filled with self doubt How could I be mistaken or lost in my thinking could it be true the years due to my drinking? The bittersweet end to a new beginning it only hurts knowing you have to do it again.

Empty Stomachs My life is like my a bullet train passing through what I used to hold grudges against these brothers who used me and never had a face But now I could care less about the careless because no longer in my gut do I hold stress talking to all my relations from all nations you may be famous but I will transcend nations with my innovations Your brain is empty as well as the jaded mirror in which you used to judge me with that fake smile on your face But you never had one Once again another day without breakfast my stomach is empty but my mind is content You may think your better than me but you aren't that good I'm real for the hunger I carry is that of a thousand poets using one word Reality Nor am I ashamed of who I am or where I came from may your glass houses in which you've judged me break deleting me from songs I used to take for that isn't hip hop but rape for the empty stomach in which you can't relate I am strong standing with my brothers and sisters praying deeply not wanting to judge for past mistakes you aren't real you have no face As for myself I will continue to burn the midnight lamp making strides on my own until my stomach can be filled again I forgive you and I can forget but I won't allow myself to get stuck in your past as I've been writing for what I believe in Empty stomachs bring hungry thoughts. I need food for thought!

Learning Everything never came easy Is life something you learn or is it something you live? either way Im learning Im living a dream of education the line between my fascinations To learn to speak correctly To become cultured Learning how to let go and leaning towards completion of my goals.

Dedication To have things in order. waking up from slumber making the time to make it better. Good time and good things mean little when you run. I never knew it took this much work as I walk away from the past and show my face in the present I see it's all I can say. Never give up So I don't keep going even if people don't care I'm going to Be who I am Ever changing like running water in misty slopes where my visions have lead me I find the flower that could save us all you just have to believe in order to see it. Inside where my guts are rotten

and broken jagged pieces pierce you learn to live with it and keep up your stride the past is passed so little time to show it all how to be myself truly priceless.

Delete The Past Here I sit looking through my mind Mindless.. Thinking of the times I couldn't change the past or the things I took for granted Wondering how to move forward instead of backwards Here I sit looking at past notes and thinking of the day I was happy I had it all lined up in a perfect circle Love, Music, Poetry, and You I looked back into the dark corners and saw a light Something I forgot about Something I took for granted I lamented over the fact I should have moved I laughed at myself for being scared of leaving the only place I ever called home for the woman I loved. Maybe this is the way its supposed to be... Along the shores of my distance from a world where I feel jaded Lost... I sat reading her letters knowing that she moved on and I smiled.. I sat writing in a notebook I hadn't touched in forever and it brought back good times Smoking on the ceiling and making love in the sun But alas.. it fled like a bat in the night time sky All because of fear a wise man once told me "If you fear you lose" and I lost as I searched for Fame I lost Love, as I longed for acceptance I lost you As I lived for others I lost music and As I looked for poetry I found despair But this kept me sane as I deleted the past Old emails Lost loves and friendship which I ruined I no longer had hate in my heart I felt aware of the mistakes I had made Deleting the only time I felt at peace

I am enlightened by the friends that kept coming back even after I pushed them away Then I lost myself only to find that I hadn't lost much I just keep the illusions of a past I could never live What if and I should have done Aren't words I hold anymore as I hit the keys and deleted my past I sit now looking a a blank page thinking what's next or how could I get to that state It doesn't matter now We learn from our mistakes I now live for what I have my words and the sense of knowing who I am as I deleted my past...

Exploding Skies Exploding Skies Tennessee Starry skies where I saw Swordsmen and Hookah bars New Mexico Shooting Stars Waiting for the end. Years pass like sand dunes and the skies turn yellow and bright, blunt and cold The vast lands of my ancestors held into the middle of Texas Roll parties and new friends far from home laughter and anger and the way to see a new process Stone soups and incense the way to see above the clouds Singing Haiku as I see the stars explode. Thru beauty and bloodshed a true war in our stars the purple clouds, I longed to see yet instead I saw the beauty in her deep green eyes a forgotten time, in which they all wanted to see Finding the innovators yet distancing myself from the inside and the rotting soul within Breathing for an answer, to thoughts of uselessness a mothers call, as the dust and clouds are merely a memory in the creation of former warriors glory

In deep black trees, joined in forests that I couldn't dare to see Smoking my life away.. each puff as I contemplate my next move, the next 6 months of a life I have yet to understand into a culture I've always loved, in deep sessions where we hid our true skins. Thinking of the process to the progress of a life of ironic substance I think of the way I understood myself as I watched the skies explode in orgasmic glory as I time traveled back to where I used to be Helpless, Thoughtless, all those in which we are but cannot say A thought running thru my mind as a bullet which pierces the skin that isn't mine. Stormy nights and days, battles not yet won a love for a women as another man loves a sport as such a writer like myself, mysteriously uncovering the mystery to myself and the world around me trying to find a place to rest my head, Inside I long for that in what I can't reach thinking it will make me better when in the end its nothing that I ever needed but merely wanted A fiend

a fiend for life wanting instead of needing closure and guidance to make it my own. A writers curse a feeling of remorse for all I could have wrote. but alas. These starry skies will never be the same.

A Poets Curse Dedicated to Murmullo and the real warriors of the pen I ask why Im angry its because I love this thing called poetry. You ask me why I care. I say this is expression We arent like your clicks and good old boy systems We are more cassette tapes and stereo systems If you ask how do I write Ill just laugh at you. If you ask me if I flow. Ill look down upon you for Im not a jukebox to sing you songs I take this personal ask the whispers hes in the shadows Why revolution is important.. Not revolution but Revelucion revelations of poetry stations What it is to get the job done. The job no one wants to do Ask me about 3 years of missing classes, making copies bombing the system with paper propaganda, and fighting with powers you have no chance against. Truly a Breaking down barriers drinking coffee at night watching football films Eating fried pig killing time. Making adjustments on the spot without approval Too many prepped to be a preppie while we are the rejects on the outside that no one cares to look at. Dysfunction disfigured go figure that always worked for me Half business. All the time planning Secret talks and thoughts dropped Half talk.. But the ones that dont do anything are the ones that talk the most But all the time. They talk more than they do. Some leave when the work gets to be too much and they make excuses for things More like writing down the plans to a poetic life Once verse at a time.

Team at work in progress always changing, sometimes never getting along People always coming and going. Going and coming. Some to sell themselves others to sell their clubs or ideas Some leave when the pressure gets to be too much Sometimes I wish I could but I cant let them win I wont give up. And you say they are just open mics To me they are life Still something concrete better than those without substance Tall standing making meeting secret but public if the result are good. We are. Will and Can not cant and excuses Something the old school taught me. Dont assume. I made this mistake a lot So will you just talk about what we are supposed to do. Ill do what we need to. Make it happen Losing friends and face over what I cant control And standing up for those that dont care Real life written to stanzas and verses A place lost in translation from written to spoken Loss of sleep and loss of faith Its hard work

I wish I could snap my fingers And make it go away But its there in my face Destiny in one arm Fate in the other My Opus a true beauty in the soul This is my job A poets curse To be himself.

BOREDOM spend time on dope rhymes and broke minds with cold glances and death dances of the rest of the enchanted that they hold and take for granted inside deep is a well set to explore. they ask too many question always for more. the planet inside an eyesore. The pleasure of a skill to adore Word smiths and alchemists with this shhh you couldnt hold a candle to it hang vandals through it and keep it down with the beacon sound.

A World without words A world beyond. Another day to lie in the sun But what if the sun never comes out? A couple of useless words or lack of them can destroy the building you made. Rubble and thoughts of echoes and phases framing a picture with no marks a world beyond thought linked to the heart, a sensitive being just being yourself. Along the water banks as you sing the song with no lyrics to wait and worry for nothing a place in the sun in a world without words Tell me again why I'm here In a world without words, where thought is king. And the mind is an open board of possibilities. The thoughts you can hear in the ground. Along the way. In a world where sound is more than speech A world where silence is truly golden.

Chia Love note Listening to old songs Havent thought of you in so long I forgot about you and you and you. Been thinking of it through , through and through. I was tired of being lonely but tired of being hurt by all the letdowns , so with this Im gonna let down some steam. but Im ready to move on, cause its been too long. I wanted you cause a boy could dream but only a man could make you scream. But I thought I try to call write and say Or just to close the book and pray. I know you dig closure, but Im not willing to give you that much exposure For lost friends, some have gone and some have stayed behind, some Ive blanked from my mind Lovers, friends, beats, chances and changes. The long winding road and open wide ranges Goodbye , I hate to see have seen you go. Im living my life in stages Life as a poet for me has been too many open stages Too many tears not enough pages. Too many times of knowing whats up but not knowing How they covered it up, how you lied, how you thought and how it was or needs to be. The questions still remain too many for me. Ill be here waiting for you and you and you. Just as you are that in which you could never do Lamenting over. Cause my lamenting is over Making excuses and living lies. Oh how I tried and tried. Like the life you tried to wife. Just to Living the life you should have been with me. The smiles and tones used to be pleasant they turned sour and distant like the present.

As I didnt see its importance. It was only dormant Alas the times I felt the lines I dealt of the control I gave you Never meant to save you just wanted to praise you. But I couldnt stand on my own , thanks to my big Stress syndrome Too blinded by my own sorrow. Living in yesterday and not tomorrow. Their story in all of this got shuffled through time. The cd changer in our minds, the light inside so they cut the blinds. And the life is in its times Traveling like carnies, and planting seeds. We all have needs I should have thought about it less. But this is how I learn from the best. Its living and harder to let you go. As you may never know While you get abused and are living downtown. With someone else thats around town you think you are you. But I know who you are and you know that I do. Now your left me while Im saying it sucks to be you. Whether you hate me, or distance yourself cause our love never worked, you became my friend or we became the end. The love on only lonely nights you try to send. Its ok I understand. Ive let it go, in whole , with your back handed comments and judgments beyond my control. So I let you go and I let you go, and you go. The world is changing cause you and you and you know But Ill never forget how much I loved you passionately But Im moving so fast now that bab you aint none of you bitches catching me. Why actually, Love is actually a reality tracking me.

Alive In Love Illusions calibrate the darkness. A broken mirror with jaded jagged edges that drip blood as scarfice. Loose cannon fodder lost in the foray. Tripping over the rifts and finding lifts to take me away. A drop that falls deeper down into the mixes. Karma is touching me. Spurring between death and over life Heaven in the world in which we work. Mixing and matching precious words like soup. Lighting is our friends from above, sparking our interests in the beyond. Scoop down like a bird of prey as the loyal are really the ones who stay. They say Im angry, when Im really just sad. Unfulfilled, but always lucky. Lucky to be alive, and in love. Lucky to breath and smile. Illusions make you feel like darkness.

Allah Akbar (A message to the youth) Tune in tune out make it to the lights disappear from reality into the night destroy the past brought down to us by racist whites while my friends hang for their beliefs like stalagmites The blood of the maya courses through my vessels think back to every time they tried to test you they can shove religious propaganda down our throats but we it comes to saving people all they do is quote bureaucratic idolisms made from slave traders modern day Hitlers and with race haters made to kill us all and pick up the pieces later will we survive or pirate the earth like raiders of a lost arc that never existed lied to be our creators yet we created ourselves in there image only for them to enslave us then we turn around and pray for white Jesus to come save us then we hate on all brown folk and make our women change their flavors then we go down south so the gringo can exploit his neighbors as I scream to American psycho Allah Akbar asa salam ! Dropping down on conservatives like American made bombs the enemy is here in the usa state sponsored terrorism fuck Iran! it wasn't us it was them then tried to stop our genocide but we killed them all before they could hide and we robbed the others blind after we gave them a bribe miss bush America the biggest whore damaged our pride and only the gods will laugh when fire comes down from the skies lord of the sinful lord of the flies, lord of the dead lords of the eyes oh my lord look at the horde of magnificent lies oppression is as American as apple pies.. and if you don't agree you get bombed like Nagasaki CIA FBI and homeland security want to pop me even though nowadays they way to sloppy you can torture my body but my soul can't stop me Im too much I bleed and burn just like old manuscripts this is how a revolutionary handles shit die in your lies because I refuse to stand in it here's your brain and face so get handed it Christian extremism white breds backward hate thou shall not mix backwards religions with state the con of the life with more than life at stake murderers get idolized and lied in state let me break it down like the Berlin wall eve was black and she was the mother of us all

Reagan was the antichrist that made the bill of rights stall and bush was the coward that made the towers fall so know you know go spread the words before you get shot like the black birds the power through my fingers can you feel the surge to be a strong leader or die with the herd. Can they kill a man deadly with a word? They kill everyone that stands up dawg,! Havent you heard? by Guillermo

Am I too Strong? Did I come on too strong or not strong enough? The world that I lived before you is way too tough So I forgot that you ever existed Maybe its for its for the better black listed The beat of the sax sends me to a new place I look at you and sigh wishing I had a new face Cause people like you come a dime a dozen Acting like you know something Are you better than me that has yet to be determined Youre like a stick of wood mashed up to be burning Maybe Im too literate and thats a problem for myself Thinking too much is bad for your health Ask Melissa Damn I missed her fucked it up and gave her to another mister So listen to the sonnet as I let it go The people and the places that you think you know One day the waves shift to change Making everything out of my range Shit that hurt your soul and kills your brain This is a picture outside of the brain.

Amazed By You. Inside I deeply look Where the souls hide Inside your eyes where I've seen it all. The flames flicker and the life changes but you stay the same. On top of your game. I called out for you Did you hear me? --------- No answer.. Not yet. I'm amazed by the world we live in. Billions of stars Beings with no home or emotion and I'm too sensitive to see the lies you hide behind Can you hear me? Calling your name far across the sea. Where the eagles and hawk talk to each other. I'll meet you by the mountains Under the stars Im amazed by you, even if you aren't here anymore I forgot we were connected.

The stars have a funny way of crossing paths The spark I've seen in your eyes Beyond human belief the real thoughts across the galaxy where you are distant but so close..

Too Deep Art is deep some say but my roots run deeper than those who fought god and got put in the sleeper Art is like a weed sometimes I call it creeper. It grows shoots up and allows you to make a difference with your own two hands. Life is art some would say as I show the world a plan Writing is art but who's to say it was created by man Sometimes I find the time to rhyme other times I just lay down the line that is the spark that goes to your spine Art is mind but what is mind sometime I take time to define Art is mind. Let's look deeper than mind and put one to the soul are part of me is gone but I'm left whole Art is mind Deeper that those that have killed swine Art is something to the spirt they intertwine Art is mind.

As I Burn In a world of thoughtlessness I sit into deep thought In a place of revue where gods were made men and the children were no longer listened to. This was This is. No life for a poet. One night stands, drunken hook ups Ive had them all but love. For in the land of the sun there are many rooms to die in. Inside a demons heart you may find an angel Like inside of a square you can find an angle Drunken lonesome nights Remember how not to remember feeling like this wasteland has some green on it. But where? Playing Han Cho with Basho and drinking wine with Mary magdelin Cause I like to live on the edge like a bad movie Its gonna take awhile to get it right.

fast cars I have none Nice clothes Got none but somehow I get by stay high and slam your poetry into the ground dead where it belongs everlasting orgasms and half thruths In a shell on the outside where I burn. To chase women like a dog and fall prey to sleepless nights of freestyle To cover myself in body paint and tattoos so that I can express all I feel on the inside but I Contuinue to move along to the edge. the grave isnt far.

Bain The price you have to pay to keep up Is a price we've all battled. Judgment by our peers A life left unquestioned Questions with no answers As the day grows What we do best is sometimes never enough The battle within the life bare and rotten from scars picking out the bones that brought us together and the organs that brought us apart I never try to think like this But then I never try As under the moon as well as the stars your life may fail victim like Ceaser Betrayed by his own people To keep up where great persons struggle and fight for nothing less than a identity A life to call their own Not a space but merely a place to call your own Isn't that all we really want?

My Beautiful Deformity We've all been judged. we've all been judges My beautiful deformity you've suffered like I've suffered You are the only one who original You are the artist a piece of mind The way the we were made You cannot see your own reflection you cannot hear the words they use to describe you yet you never cared how people have judged you you pick the stars from the skies and draw them near The world means nothing to me but to you it's everything My beautiful deformity truly you are beyond me. Myself. My soul in harmony.

Billzilla I'm Billzilla the King Kush Killa Half Chocolate and Vanilla With a little bit red cheeks like lobster Some girls asked my if I'm a mobster. I said not since I was a monster on foster I foster the postures and stay a giant stoner monster Billzilla the one ton killa, listen to J dilla and eat tort illas but I call them tortillas, cause of the zia, I talk so much its like diarrhea I a be a. Different type of animale. Got you russian like your name was Vitale the one ton, hot as the sun, got your girl sprung on the fact I'm the dung. and you can't destroy Tokyo, with these open flos, you lying like Pinocchio and hope it goes. I wrote the prose to damage your flows and take its toll Battling Monthra and playing Contra on Nintendo 8 bit cause King Kong don't got shit Its Billzilla the 420 spilla the reala never a dealer or an 18 wheeler but a stealer of all that good in your city I'm a monster but don't take pity. Cause you are one on the inside

and I dont try to hide the giant destruction I contrive just so you can stay alive.

Choosing the right thing to say I never was shy.. I could never shut up kept my head to the sky Why do we talk this way I could never choose the right thing to say. Maybe I'm misunderstood the best ones are. Or maybe I never understood why I never went too far away from the that safe place just talking without thinking just living without breathing Turned upside down but the way things go thats the way they are as I stumble to stick words together Damn it! Alphabet soup You couldn't give me the right letters all it spelt was "Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"! So I knew I talked too much even mutes signaled for me to be quiet in the library where everyone was talking and with the ladies damn... I wish all I could have said was damn instead I made a damn fool out of the damn words I said damn! Oh well I can always talk to myself right? No, even I told myself to not talk cause I didn't like the sound of my voice Or if it was up to my mother it would be complete silence So I learned sign language hit on a deaf girl and got turned down cause even she said I said too much. Telll me whats the ASL symbol for "dropped the ball"? Oh well who cares at least my pen makes good conversation and lets me rant and rave until the day that Jesus is supposed to go back and save and it never tell me to be quiet it just says I'm too phat and need a diet So think before you speak or you'll be hating what you said for weeks..

Excuses of the changed and proud I laugh when people say they've changed. Yet the all stay the same. Lames with frames adopting new names. Do you really know? What its like to be called The Lowest of the Low. I've been places you will never go. Pride and ego. Race and Reason. They can be changed like 4 season. Adopting the Coffin of a New American Century. Excuses are made to blame others for your shortcomings. The ground hit you but you left running. I pray hard and stay to my own. Still those who are supposed to be my elders, have never grown. Those I respect, Are far from home. I wont change the name my parents gave me. I've lived longer then you could save me.

New Verse As I sit, I looking into the crypts of mothers that cry out from the poisons they sip. Those things have ruined you even now you know the world is through and through. Oh I say Gadzooks, and I let loose the anger held deep inside hear that? its pride Not ego Been 28 years not legal in this wasteland called a home where the wasteful are left alone Our times is numbered in squares they see only glory so its no fair to be left behind thats the grind in which you lose your mind in counting time

The Death of a Poet.

Poetry is fucking dead! so allow me to revive it. I stay alive with the rightness. But now this poetry shit is all whackness and whiteness It has become watered down, sloppy and old. From the height to your fat folds and wanna be rap molds for the fallen and the ones who rode. Disease and famine are empty treats from the chariots. In California sunshine, where bards sing of stars. They have all died from drug over doses and fucked up childhoods Poetry aint hood. It just aint good like it used to be. Need I say the cliche. The thrill is gone. Most definitely. Im not about to retire like a boxer. But I just want this to be a bullshit stopper. No more pogs and poppers no more dogs and whoppers. No more I kill this and murder that. Because I can rap and act. Poetry has become all to stale. An item at Barnes and Nobles for sale. No more open Rooms. More like Open excuses killed beautiful soul verses dead in its tomb

so me and the whispers put it to this tune so you could learn how if because You want this to survive , Well my brother give it life. You want an Open Stage well then Homie, Do it right! But its no longer friends and lovers its all undercover brothers and stupid motherfuckers. Trying to ride on this dick, but its already sore You don't get the keys to my verses no more. You dont get this please no more. Poetry was how I expressed my stress. Now its target practice as I aim straight at your chest. This poetry shit is dead to me thats only the half of this mess the other half is the way it became doper after you left. So I give my hat to the years I've wasted, and the words I've tasted that have been my own. Its only an open mic but to me, It's and open microphone.

Thank you!