fighting Im fighting to stay awake against the poisons pretending not to be panting dragging the anchors nothing no Im fine

the shame of it the shame of the infirmity I'm good at this a day another rare to falter rare to have to call in sick, invent a plausible lie then back to work just a cold I'm better now wry jokes impossibly upright with freefall inside me the poisons dissolving my organs the howl behind my eyes and this all this impossible crippling weight the proof of my weakness: Coward.