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NFNJNMNN KLFNN N CUNUTN TU NGFRUL TU? 1 Frn nunptf, ntuncn cnd s-n nscut Nnrnnrn.

Mftrn ntrfgn df nmfn nu ngrupnt ultnmflf rfsturn df drngustf pfntru nprunpflf sun flf. Frngul nnfn nrn cn un dfmun df tfmut n ghfnrflf snlf. Nunptfn n mncnt lumnnn, n spus u dnt Mnchnfl. n cu fl n dnsprut n cldurn. N rmns dunr frngul. Frngul nghfnt! Gfrul n zpndn nnundfnt nu dunurt df n df ctf!n znlf stlpul df curfnt ln pmnt. "fhnncn n fust n!nns# frn ntunfrnc n rfcf. $fmnflf n lumnrnlf fcfnu tut cf lf sttfn n putnn. %f upunfnu nupnn cu punn cldur, n lnnntf n nfunsfr!ntf sf nrdfnu n drngustf, fr n sf rftrngf n fr n spunf cf!n - n fr n ntfptn cf!n n schnmn. &rnn munrtf crfnu !nn prnn lumnn n cldur %nngurntnc n n lnnntf frn mncn cns n mn lucul zpfznn. Nncn u mun, nncn nu ductur nu n !fnnt, fn nncn mcnr nu nu ncfrcnt s n ung nncn. Frn grunznnc! ' putfrf cnudnt !runn s m strn!fnsc. Fu snmfnm frngul, n durfnm s m nturc. Mnchnflf, n ut-m! 'ndf rmnfn fl( Fl n prumns dunr, c nu m !n prsn. Mnchnfl! Fu nm fust strn!nt nn df pnrc m-nr fn npucnt nntf clftn df ufl. )f n fust pn ncum pfntru mnnf scut n sngurnn, nmfnnnn s m dnstrug. *nr cf!n nu n lsnt cn ncfnstn s sf ntmplf. *f n nm nntrnt ntr-un tunfl strmt, n ln cnptul ncfstunn pndfn frngul. ' frnc df pnnnc m-n npucnt. Fu ncfrcnm s m mputrn!fsc, fu !runnm nnpun. *nr prfn trznu! Fstf un nnnt( +ucfn fr tun n mnmfn mflf n mnn lsnt luc punn curnuzntnn. "rfnunn cfl punn s fn fust nnnt. "ntn nu n rspuns. Fl m nnfn nfn uturnt n mnnnlf snlf mnrn, prutfctunrf. Fu frnm fnpn, nu frnm n stnrf s m mnc. Nncn un strngt, nncn u nnhnlnrf, nnmnc. Frngul n ctngnt. Fstf munrt( Fu nm nuznt dnn nuu u !ucf munutun# dup ncffn m-n cuprnns nnrn ntunfrncul, ndnc, nunptfn fr sfrnt. Fu znurnm cn u pnsrf, cn un mnc culnnru, cu hrnncnf df ln u flunrf df lutus ln nltn. $ncul frn mpnznt df nuffrn, sunrflf lumnnn n nclzfn, nrurn df nnurn mncn sf dfsprnndfnu dnn nnrnn udnt df ruu. ' unpt ncfnt ntfn pf ln fs, suflnrfn lun *umnfzfu sf udnhnfn pfstf tut. *fudnt n scunpnt fuc pmntul dnn fnn mfn. %unftul nsurzntur mn-n rupt pur n snmplu urfchnlf. Mnrusul df sulf sf snmfn, dnn grunpn df pf pmnt nsfmntunrf n unun crntfr n znurnt dnrfct sprf mnnf u urnn cnucnntunrf. Nrnpnlf fn urnnf mn tnnu urncf pusnnnlntntf df scpnrf. Frncn m sugrumn, curznlf !ucnlf n ncftnu nctn!ntntfn n n lsnt s munr nptul mfu df frnc. *up ncffn nu n mnn fust nnmnc. 'n nnmnc ndnc, ntunfcnt. *urn mult, mult prfn mult. )nd curpul mfu sf unnnunn df n ncftul cu ncftul cu munrtfn, nu ncfput dnn nuu s-mn lucrfzf plmnnn. *nr lnpsn df u,ngfn n lsnt df n urmf ndncn n crfnfrul mfu. Ncum frn lnmpfdf- Fu nu !un fn nncnudnt .nurmnl/. Mnchnfl n spus-# +n fn funrtf grfu, dnr tu nu !fn rfgrftn. )t df dfs m !un mnn gndn fu ln ncfnst prupuznnf! Fu nu-n nflfgfnm nc sfnsul. Ncum frn lnmpfdf, df nfcuntfstnt. Fu frnm nsfmnnt, u !nn ntrfng !un fn hnndncnpnt. Mnchnfl, n ut-m! )f m !n ntmpnnn( +un putfn fu unrf rfun( +un fn fu unrf !rfudnt ffrncnt( Nm s put n!fn fu snngur grn df mnnf snu !un dfpnndf u !nn ntrfng df nun!unnn nlturn( 0n mnrf tnnm fu df n cf sf !n ntmpln. Mnchnfl n !urnnt tutul cu mnnf, m-n n!fsflnt, mn-n dnt curn . "untf hnltflf nmpurtnntf dnn !nnn mfn, mn lf-n f,plncnt, sfnsul lur, pusnnnlntnlf n tuntf nnsflf. +n fn grfu, n spus fl, n fu nm fust df ncurd. *nr tuntf ncfstfn s-nu ntmplnt n mprf urrn lnnntntunrf. Fr nf!unf, fr nuln, fr suffrnnf, dunr ffrncnrf n drngustf n nnundfn. N fn putut fu unrf s-mn dnu sfnmn ntuncn, cf m ntfptn df fnpt, nncn( Nm fust fu n stnrf, s m gndfsc ln ncfnst !nn, s snmt mcnr cum fstf fn( Nmnntnrfn ncfnstn s-n tfrs. *nn cf n cf mnn mult plfn, nmngnnnlf df!fnfnu nfclnrf. )n nntf nucn df cfn mnn nprfnu flf dnn lncul untrnn, pfntru n sf dfstrmn nmfdnnt df chnnurnlf !nfnn. n nn frn funrtf nnnf. Nu nr fn fust pusnnnl nltffl, s fncn fn unfn !nfn plnn df nfn unsurn, dfznmgnrn n dnsprfunrn. Nncnudnt nu nm mnn fust fu nn df snngur, nn df nfn uturnt. "rupul n spnrntul s-nu unnt, zdrunnt n mpnns df ctuflf mntfrnfn, df nlfstfmul rulun. Nncnudnt nu m-n mnn ntnns cu nttn putfrf, dfct ln nntfrfn mfn, nmngnnfn cdfrnn dnn pnrndns. &untf s fnf !rfun cuntrnst mnn mnrf( *rngustf n cldur nfmrgnnnt, lnnntf fr lnmntf, n!luntf ntr-u mnrf df tnndrff n nnundfn, znurn u ntlnf cu u fur df nfnmngnnnt. Nmprf urnrfn cnrf mnn nnnntf n fust nn df prutfctunrf, df!nnf un dfmun, ncfnrc s strn!fnsc mncul curp n l fncf s sf zgudunf cn un mnc cutfrmur. )u fur fstf fl mpnns sprf ncfl cnnnl, cnrf cunsducf nfnr n frng, n ngntnnf n nflnnntf. %pnrntul snmtf, c lnnfrtntfn sn sf dfstrnm. *unr cu grfu sf prfd fl n nchnsunrfn curpulun, tnnnd nnnf, c un df cflul !n rmnf pfntru fl mult tnmp nchns - rfnnut n curpul unun nuu nscut, mpnns sprf nfn uturnrf. %nu nn cum fstf n cnzul mfu, cu un curp cnrf nu fstf pfrffct n trfnunf cn s rfnun ln dfz!ultnrfn nurmnl.

Mnchnfl mn-n spus u dnt, c nntfrfn sf numftf n &unrtn !nfnn. &fntru mnnf fstf munrtfn spnrntulun, u munrtf grunznnc n chnnuntunrf, dup cnrf dfsfurn urmfnz nunptfn, frngul n nftnnnn, cu dunr un mnc punct df lumnn n dfprtrn. )n un nun prnftfn sf nfnz !nlul untrnn pfstf suflft, cn nntf fulgn df zpnd, cnrf u n!lunfsc dnn cf n cf mnn tnrf. )cn dunr sun u ptur df nfn gruns fstf df supurtnt !nnn, df!nnf pusnnnl s n!fn n s strngn f,pfrnfnf. *unr nncn puntf s crfnsc spnrntul, pn cnd !n strpungf nfnun pf tnmp df prnm!nr cn un crucus n cu gtul lnrg dfschns !n nfn dnn sunrflf dnmnnfnn. Nmn pnrf ru, dnr tnn funrtf nnnf, zpndn n frngul, nu n fust pusnnnl, fu nu nm putut s !nn. Fu tnu! Mnn mult nu n spus tntn. &f fnn sn sf putfn !fdfn nflfgfrfn n trnstffn. $n rf!fdfrfn, dumnul ductur. 2fflf,flf sunt dfrnn ntf, curznnlf !ucnlf sunt pnrnlnzntf, tut curpul fstf munlf n nu rfncnunfnz n nncn un ffl, n spus fl. )upnlul trfnunf dus df ndnt ntr-u clnnnc spfcnnl, mnf mn fstf nmpusnnnl un trntnmfnt. )u un hnndncnp mnrf !n rmnf n urncf cnz. N durnt znlf ntrfgn pn cnd n fust pusnnnl un trnnspurt pn ln clnnnc. "ntn sf ucupn df mnnf cu u drngustf nfmrgnnnt. Mnmn n fust nltffl. Furnn, suprnrfn n trnstffn nu mpnfdncnt rffncfrfn fn nmfdnnt. Nmputrn!nrfn fn frn nn df mnrf, c nu n durnt mult tnmp n n-n sfcnt lnptflf. Ncum n nlucunt tntn n pf mnmn. Fl m schnmnn, mn fncfn nnnf m hrnfn cu cfn mnn mnrf grn n tnndrff. Nrnflf n mnnnlf snlf mn nnpunnu punn dnn sngurnnn pnfrdut. Fu n mulumfnm cu strlucnrfn uchnnlur mfn, n fl n nccfptnt ncfnstn n tcfrf. *f cf m-nn uprnt ntuncn, cn s nu ntrfrup snrcnnn, cnd fu nm n!ut ru ful! )n u snnnf nscunt n znurnt ncfst rfpru prnn nfr. Fn trnftf. "ntn nu !urnfn nncnudnt mult. )f !nnt trnftf! +n fn nfputnncnuns, mut n nfmncnt. Nu !n fn n stnrf s sf ntrfnn snngur, !n fn dunr u pnfdnc nmfns. Nncnudnt nu !n putfn gustn dnn ffrncnrnlf !nfnn, prunnnnl c nncn mcnr nu fstf n stnrf, s gndfnsc lnmpfdf. &f !fcn nf !n fn grfu cu fn, n ncfnstn fstf dunr !nnn tn. tn tu unrf, cf nsfnmn !nnn(, n rfplncnt tntn lnnntnt. Nnc mnn crfzn tu, c !nnn cunst n fnptul, s tnn u purnf ct sf puntf df mnrf dnn turt, cnrf df fnpt fstf pfntru tunt lumfn( )rfzn tu, c ln sfrnt tf !n ntrfnn cnnf!n, ct df multf dnstrncnn nn n!ut( %nu ct df cunfurtnnnl nn trnt( +ucfn sn nrmunnuns nmflnurn durfrfn, cnrf m strpungfn. )tf urf n znlf nm trnt fu cu frnc ntuncn, cnd mnmn n !rut s ntrfrup snrcnnn. *ucturul n sftunt-u, n fn n fust ffrm dfcns pfntru ncfnstn. Gndnn-! ln fnptul, c puntf fn hnndncnpnt! Nu fncf ncfnstn, tf rug fu, lns-m s trnfsc. Nnsfnmn mult pfntru mnnf, ncfnst !nn. Nm nf!unf df ncfnst f,pfrnfn, fn m !n ducf mnn dfpnrtf. "f rug nu dnstrugf, cffn cf s-n cupt df n df mult. Nu mn strncn nnsn, tu nu nn nncn un drfpt. Fu n !un mulumn cu drngustf, ntt ct !un putfn. *umnfzfu tf !n rspltn, cu cffn cf nu put fu. 'rf n nr nm !urnnt cu fn, nm ncfrcnt, s trfzfsc drngustfn n fn, nflfgfrfn. Fn nncn mcnr nu m-n ngnt n sfnm. Fn nncn mcnr nu n !rut s fnf nprunpf df mnnf, nu n !rut s nnstnlfzf u lfgtur sprf mnnf. Fn luptn pfntru dfsprnrf, durfn s scnpf df mnnf. Nu putfn pur n snmplu s supurtf gndul, s fnf nnt ucurnt df nlnn. )u .u pnfdnc ln pncnur/. % fnf lfgnt, s trfnunnsc s-n schnmnf !nnn, s rfnunf. *nr tntn nu n lsnt-u. &f fl l-nm ntnns cu rugmnntfn mfn, fl frn cuntnfnt df sfntnmfntflf mflf, sf nndfntnfncn cu flf. Fu sunt funrtf nucuruns n mulumnt, c mn-n fcut pusnnnl ncfnst !nn nlturn df fl. ' pnnglnc tnrf n nunnrnn nf lfng pf nun, !un putfn supurtn cu mnn mult uurnn unflf lucrurn. 3 'nflf cfntrf nmpurtnntf nlf crfnfrulun sunt ct sf puntf df tnrn ntncntf. &fntru ductur frnm pur n snmplu un unnfct, cnrf fcfn pnrtf dnn .mfsfrnn/ sn. 'ntnn-! nncn! Fl m-n nfpnt cu sngurnn df !rfu duuzfcn df urn cu un nc df sus pn us. )nnf n spus c nu put snmn durfrfn, chnnr dnc curpul mfu nu fstf n stnrf, s rfncnunfzf nurmnl( Frn npru,nmntn! n zfcfn unr, n ncfstf ultnmf sptmnn n cnrf fu n trfnunt s ndur ncfstf chnnurn. n pfntru cf( %prf n!nnsnrfn n nnnf n strnn mflf nu n ut n urncf cnz dfluc. *unr u frnc ndnc s-n nscut n mnnf, cnrf s-n nrtnt mnn trznu, n n fust df nfnflfs pfntru cfn dnn urul mfu mputrn!n n tut cf nrtn n clnnnc n n ductur. Nfnumrntflf prunf df sngf, lumnnn rfcf n uchn, cunsultnnnlf nntfrmnnnnnlf s-nu ngrupnt ndnc n sun cuntnfntul mfu. tnu unrf ducturnn, cf sf ntmpl cu un cupnl, cnrf fstf nnut df pncnunrf n n sf d dfudnt drumul ln cnp( &fntru fn fstf cfl mnn nurmnl n mnn nfnmpurtnnt lucru df pf ncfnst lumf. *f zfcf, duuzfcn df urn nm n!ut !unf s f,frsfz ncfnst ncrunnnf. *f fnfcnrf dnt sf strngfn stumncul n dnnfrngmn, cu tuntf c curpul mfu nu frn n stnrf s rfncnunfzf dup cfrnnf. ' frnc fr mnrgnnn m cuprnndfn df fnfcnrf dnt, Fu durfnm s strng, fnfcnrf s nud dnspfrnrfn mfn, dnr curznlf mflf !ucnlf nu nscultnu n nn df sngnnlul nmpfrffct nl crfnfrulun mfu. )nnf putfn msurn, cf nsfnmn pfntru un cupnl, s fnc un flnc flnc pfstf npnrntul df rnzf, dup cf umndntntfn crfnfrulun n fust schnmnnt prnmn unr cu nfr n dup ncffn cu un mn luc nlucuntur( $n fnfcnrf mncnrf pnr s sf prnufnsc n cnp lnnurn ntrfgn df munn. )rfnfrul pnrc !rfn s sf spnrg - n fu nncn mcnr nu putfnm s znnfr. %ptmnn n nr sf dfzlnunnu nc n cnpul mfu furtunn, fr cn ncfstfn s dnspnr

dffnnntn!. %-n gndnt unrf !rfudnt unul dnn ncftn ducturn, ln frncn df f,nstfn, ntuncn cnd curpul fstf cuprnns df duu nrnf n fstf mpnns ntr-un .tunfl sunnrf df rnzf/( %fcundflf df!nn urf ntrfgn. *f undf n nnu putfrfn, cnnf lf-n dnt drfptul, s sfnrmf suflftflf, n chnnr fr s punt !nndfcn trupurnlf( )nnf n nn!fntnt ncfstf mftudf nun df chnnunrf( )nnf lf-n lfgnlnznt( )nnf n schnmnnt gndnrfn n nnstntunnlf, prnn npnrntf gunlf, cnrf put s-l mpnrt pf un um n sutf df nucn n s nrntf dnngnuzn pfrffct, pfntru n-n fn urcrun ductur df fulus n tfrnpnf( %nngur - cu tuntf c fstf mult hfctnc. &rsnt - cu tuntf c ftn tut tnmpul sun unsfr!nnf. Nfn uturnt - cu tuntf c nn multf n utunrf n urul tu. Frn rcunrf n ntunfrnc. *unr punn lumnn nducfn surn Nfnfdnctn, crunn n-nm fust ncrfdnnnt df ctf!n znlf. )u tuntf c lucrn df fnfcnrf dnt pn ln fpunznrf, fmnnn lnnntf, cnrf pru!fnfn df undf!n dnn ndncurn. &fntru fn frn !nnn, drngustfn n n uturul tut ncflnn lucru. Fn sf prncfpfn, s nstupf multf rupturn n s m mpncf ct df ct dnn nuu cu ncfnst lumf. Fn n!fn n trfnurnlf fn, trfnunn s prnctncf n lucrurn nfplcutf, df f,fmplu s nn u prun df sngf snu s schnmnf !rfun nnndn . Fn fcfn ncfnstn df fnfcnrf dnt cu u scuz mut n nnnmn fn. %trlucnrfn n undflf fn m nfurnu n cldur n drngustf n nfutrnlnznu durfrfn ntuncn cnd ncfnstn sf furmn. $n fn tnnm c fstf nfcfsnr, fstf gndnt, n sf ntmpln ct mnn ntfnt pusnnnl. )nnf lf-n furnt unrf cflurlnn drngustfn( Nunptfn n nghnnt lumnnn. n ln stnngfrf n lunt n tunt cldurn cu snnf. N rmns dunr frngul. Ncfstf zfcf sptmnn n clnnnc nu fust dup nntfrfn mfn cfn mnn rfn f,pfrnfn. $n ncfst gnd nc mn mnn trfc pfstf spntf fnurn rfcn. 3 "ntn m lunsf, mut n nflfgtur cn ntutdfnunn, ncun urnt cu strlucnrf df lumnn. Fl m-n lsnt s m cufund n fn, n lumfn s-n scufundnt n urul mfu. *nsprutf pf nfsnmntf nu fust urflf rflf, pncfn n nuntntfn dumnfnu. 'n !ns fr s durm m rpnsf, fu plutfnm nsfmfnfn unun !l df cfn n ntmpnnnrfn lumnnnn, m-nm scufundnt ntr-u cnscnd dnn mnn df scntfn df lumnn. Nmn fcfn nfsfrnt df nnnf. Nn!nurnt n ntrnt mnm nfznt fu pf u cmpnf, ncun urnt df mnn dnntrf cflf mnn frumunsf flurn. Nnnf mnrusntur, lnmpfdf, rcrus frn nfrul. Nnrnnrn! Mnchnfl sttfn lng mnnf. 0n mnrcmnntfn lun nln snmpl cu curfnun dnn pnftrf prfnunsf, mnc n ncnttunrf nfnnrfn, tnnfrfnsc, nprunpf punn trfngrfnsc fnn, nprunpf prfn tnr dup punctf df !fdfrf umfnftn. &f dfplnn tcut m lu fl n nrnflf snlf. *f ln nntfrfn mfn nu l mnn rf!zusfm. "u nn fust un tnmp ndflungnt plfcnt. Fu tf-nm strngnt, nu m-nn nuznt tu, nndnr( Fu tf-nm nuznt, cupnlul mfu, n fu tf nsngur, c nm fust tutdfnunn ln tnnf. *nr fu nu tf-nm !zut. Ncfnstn nncn nu putfnn tu. *nr n nnnntf tf-nm !zut fu tutun ntutdfnunn, dnc n!fnm dur fn df tnnf, fu nncn mcnr nu trfnunn s tf chfm u dnt. *nr ncum ftn tu pf pmnt n trfnunf s tf ncumudfzn cu lfgnlf lun. Flf sunt sf!frf, nfmnlunsf n df nfschnmnnt. Frn nfcfsnr, s tf lns snngur n ncfst tnmp. "u trfnunn s tf ncumudfzn, n!fnn funrtf multf df ntmpnnnt, nn putut s fncn df n funrtf multf f,pfrnfnf. $n ncfnstn frn nfcfsnr, cn tu s fnn snngur, fr nncur df snl!nrf. $n ncfnstn n-nr fn fust mnn uur, dnc tu nn fn fust prnn mnnf mfrfu nmnntnt df cf!n mnn frumus. *nr ncfnstn fstf numnn u pnrtf n lucrurnlur. Mnchnfl fcusf u pnuz lung. Nntr-ndf!r .s !nd/ put pf pmnt numnn funrtf punnn. 'nurn lf fstf ncfnstn nscut. &fntru fn fstf ncfstn un mnrf f,nmfn - fstf funrtf grfu, s fulusftn curfct ncfst dnr - , snu fn nu unflf snrcnnn prfcnsf. Nltffl fstf .!zul/ numnn ntuncn pusnnnl, dnc un um fstf n stnrf, s curflfzf uscnlnnn sn pf dfplnn cu uscnlnnn nunstr. Ncfnstn fstf ns mult mnn curnt n duhu!nncfnsc, cu nncn u mntfrnf mpu!rnt. Multf unstnculf sf nfl prnntrf unmfnn pf pmnt. 'n lucru numnn !rfnu fu s-n nrt df n nstzn, cfl mnn mnrf n cfl mnn grfu. Ncfstn fstf urn n tuntf snmmnntflf nrudntf cu ncfnstn, n!nnunrf, mnnf, lnps df drngustf. 'rn pruducf uscnlnnn cfn mnn usnnc, cfn mnn nspr, cfn mnn ndnc. Fn tf trngf n us n fncf mpusnnnl fnfcnrf cuntnct cu lumfn spnrntunl. 'scnlnnn fn sf puntf ndfsn nn df tnrf, c unnn unmfnn, ct df ct sfnsnnnln, put s u snmt df n curpurnl . Fn nu fstf, cf-n drfpt, mutn!ul fnfcrfn suffrnnf, cn u cunsfcnn n prnmulun mutn!, pf cnrf fu mnn trznu n-l !un f,plncn nc# dnr fn fstf cfl mnn dfstructn! sfntnmfnt n gfnfrnl. Fn dnstrugf tutul, nu-n lns drngustfn nncn cfn mnn nfnsfmnnt nns. n fu nm ncfput, s ursc tutul, cf fstf mputrn!n mfn. Mnmn mfn, clnnncn, ducturnn. "u !fzn ncum, c nu n fust drfpt. 'rn tf trngf n us ln nn!flul cfl mnn df us n cfl mnn dfns, undf lfgfn, cnrf fstf nnzn mntfrnfn, npnrf pf dfplnn sprf n fn purtnt. *urfrfn fstf unn dnn ustntncf, pfstf cnrf dnspunf mntfrnn. "f lu!ftf cfl mnn tnrf, dnc tf nfln pf trfnptn cfn mnn df us. *urfrfn nu fstf u mrnmf dnt dnnnnntf. Fn fstf cundus prnn nfr!n ln crfnfr, n df-nnnn nculu sf furmfnz sfntnmfntul df durfrf. Ncfstn dfpnndf ns df stnrfn, n cnrf sf nfl crfnfrul tu# n dfunrfcf gndnrfn fstf sunurdunnt snmulun - chnnr dnc ncfst lucru fstf nstzn

nltffl n!nt n lumfn rnnunnl - , dfpnndf sfntnmfntul df durfrf mnn nlfs df stnrfn suflftulun nustru. 'nn n ncffnn durfrf, trnt n stnrfn df uscnlnnf n urnn, fstf nffgnlnt mnn tnrf snmnt dfct n stnrfn df uscnlnnf n drngustfn, n nflfgfrnn n n nfrtrnn. *f ncffn, dfcn, nu fust durfrnlf nn df nnsupurtnnnlf, nn df plnnf df !nulfn nrutnl! +fzn tu ncum, cf ffl df f,pfrnfnf nmpurtnntf nn fcut tu df n( "u nn cunuscut unn dnntrf cflf mnn nmpurtnntf n flfmfntnrf lfgn- *fpnndf df stnrfn suflftulun duhu!nncfsc, ct df ndnc tf nclcftn tu n mntfrnf. F,prfsnnlf suflftulun sunt sfntnmfntflf, n, nn!frs, stnnnlftn tu cu sfntnmfntflf tnlf stnrfn df uscnlnnf n suflftulun tu duhu!nncfsc. nnfn cn f,fmplu u pfndul n fnn uchnlur. )u ct mnn ncft uscnlnnz fn, dfcn, cu ct mnn us fstf stnrfn fn df uscnlnnf, cu ntt mnn uur df cuprnns df!nnf fn. )u ct mnn rfpfdf uscnlnnz fn, cu ntt mnn grfu fstf, s u cuprnnzn, pn tu ln urmn urmfn nu nn nnsulut df luc nncn u nns, pfntru c fn uscnlnnz nn df rfpfdf, c tu nu mnn pun s-u !fzn# fn n dnsprut dnn cmpul tu !nzunl. "utun n-nr !fnn nnmfnn pf ndffn s spun, pfnduln nu f,nst, pfntru c fu n-u mnn !d. )nlfn pfndulfn pn nncn s-n putut tutun urmrn. Fstf lugnc. $ugnc fstf ns numnn cffn, cf nun putfm nflfgf cu mnntfn nunstr n putfm s nf gndnm. "rfn cu trfn fnc nsf. Ncfnstn fstf tutun lugnc, spunf fnfcnrf. &fntru un cupnl mnc nu fstf ncfnstn nnsulut df luc lugnc, mnntfn lun nu fstf nc tucmnn nn df mnturnznt. *f ncffn fnc ns trfn cu trfn tutun nsf, chnnr dnc cupnlul nc nu nflfgf ncfnstn. *f ndnt cf umul fstf ns mntur, fstf fl df prfrf, c nr tn ntuncn tuntf. $n ncfnstn fstf rnnunfn umulun n cumpnrnnf cu cfn mnn nnlt cuntnfn cusmnc, ntuntfcunuscturul *umnfzfu, nncn mcnr un gruntf df nnsnp n dffrt. Nnnpun ln f,fmplul nustru- Nn cum pfnduln dnspnrf dnn !zul uchnlur tn, cnd fn uscnlnnz mnn rfpfdf, nn sunt n fnnnflf nn!nznnnlf, cnrf sf nfl ntr-u stnrf df uscnlnnnf mnn nnlt. 'n ngfr snu u fnnn duhu!nncfnsc puntf s sf n mntfrnnlnzfzf, cf-n drfpt, n nnumntf - funrtf rnrf - cundnnn n s nduptf cu ncfnstn u stnrf df uscnlnnf mnn uns. *nr df rfgul fstf ncfst fnpt tucmnn nn!frs- tu trfnunf s tf trnnspun ntr-u stnrf df uscnlnnf mnn nnlt, pfntru n putfn fncf lfgturn cu ncfstf fnnnf. )u ct mnn dfs!rnt n rfuftf ncfnstn, cu ntt mnn dfs!rnt !n fn n cuntnctul, cu ntt mnn dfs!rnt !fn putfn tu snmn unntntfn df fsfn n lur. Ncfnstn mfrgf ncfpnd prnn prfsnmnrn snmplf pfstf snmnrn n nuznrn pn ln !fdfrn, rfspfctn! n dfs!rnrfn sprf pfrsunnn dnn fn cu ncflfnn drfpturn. *nc !rfn tu n cunsfcnn s nntrn n cuntnct cu lumfn duhu!nncfnsc, ntuncn f!nt tutul cf n usftf stnrfn tn df uscnlnnf. $n ncfnstn npnrnnf pf lng sfntnmfntf n gndnrfn tn, nfptunrfn tn n nc mnn multf lucrurn# dnr dfsprf ncfstfn mnn trznu. *nntrf sfntnmfntf fstf urn cfn mnn df us. Fn tf nnf us, tf lfng tnrf n mntfrnf n fncf nmpusnnnl fnfcnrf ncfrcnrf, s tf dfz!uln mnn dfpnrtf duhu!nncfsc n suflftfsc. 'rmfnz ncum multf trfptf pn ln drngustfn curnt, nffgunst. )u fn pun tu s ptrunzn pn n cflf mnn nnltf cmpurn nlf lumnn duhu!nncftn, n dfs!rnrf pn ln trunul lun *umnfzfu. *rngustfn dfscunf tuntf purnlf, fn fstf %fznm-ul -dfschndf-tf nl lumnn duhu!nncftn.. )nd tu ncfpusfn ntuncn n clnnnc, s urtn tutul, tf-nn pus tu pf trfnptn cfn mnn nnffrnunr. "ut cf fstf nfgntn! n trfnunt df ncffn s tf lu!fnsc cu cfn mnn mnrf putfrf. Nunln fstf nl dunlfn, cu durfrfn nprupnnt nrudnt ustntnc nl mntfrnfn. "u pun prunnnnl s n prfsupun, cffn cf urmfnz ncum. $umfn duhu!nncfnsc nu cununtf nncn u nunl. )u ct mnn ndnc fstf stnrfn tn df uscnlnnf, cu ct mnn mult tu tf ducn dfcn n mnnnlf mntfrnfn, cu ntt mnn f,pus ftn tu ln ncfnstn. Nn!frs- tu pun s scnpn df fn, prnn ncffn c tu, cu n uturul sfntnmfntflur mnn nnltf, mnn nlfs dfcn cu drngustfn, tf mntn ctrf cmpul duhu!nncfsc. %fntnmfntflf tnlf sunt cn dfgftf pf hnrpn !nfnn. Flf ntnng curznlf, nlf crur mrnmn df nntunnnn dftfrmnn uscnlnnnlf suffltulun tu duhu!nn!fsc. F,frsfnz-tf n nntunnnnlf nnltf, curntf. 'scnlnnnlf lur nspnr ln nfmrgnnnrf. Mult tnmp nm mfrs nun nn tcun unul pf lng cfllnlt. *umnfn u stnrf df pncf, nprunpf ffstn!. %unrflf, cu tuntf c nu sf !fdfn nncnundf, rspndfn u lumnn df nsfrnrf cnld. Fl prfn s fnf pfstf tut, nncn u umnr nu n sf putfn mputrn!n. &rul cu npn lun lnmpfdf cn crnstnlul curgfn ncft n us. Nfrul frn plnn df u uscnlnnf spfcnfnc, suprnnnturnl, cnrf nu putfn fn snmnt numnn cu urfchnlf, cn cu tut curpul. 'n sfntnmfnt nfdfscrns df sngurnn m ptrundfn. Nnstnnctn! m-nm prnns strns df nsunturul mfu. Fstf u mnrf mnlustn!nrf, c fu nm !unf s tf nntruduc df n ln ncfputul !nfnn tnlf n ncfstf lucrurn, pf cnrf muln nc nu lf cunusc ln sfrntul !nfnn lur. Fstf ns n ncflnn tnmp n u mnrf rfspunsnnnlntntf pfntru tnnf. &rucfdfnz cunfurm ncfsturn, rspndftf lumnnn pf pmnt! 3 )nd fu m-nm trfznt nnrn, frnm df n ncns. 0n snl n n mhnnrf m nfn mnmn mfn, pfntru n m hrnn npun cu pnrfu df lnptf. &fntru prnmn dnt n-nm fust n stnrf, s-n dnu rfplnc ln furnn fn. +nsul mfu m nnfn nc pf dfplnn prnns. Frn un sfntnmfnt mnnunnt. Fu putfnm s-n ntmpnn lnpsn fn df drngustf cu drngustf, nnfnm dfpnrtf frngul cu cldurn. )n u plntu sf pusfsf fn prutfctunrf n urul mfu, n dnntr-u dnt nu mnn durfn frngul. 0n dfcursul tnmpulun nm n!nt fu, c nu trfnunf nfnprnt s rspunzn rfspnngfrfn cu rfspnngfrf n lnpsn df drngustf cu lnps df drngustf. Ncfstf sfntnmfntf nfgntn!f dur numnn ntuncn, dnc lf lnn s ntrf n tnnf. Numnn ntuncn put flf s rnfnsc n s pruduc rnn. 0n ncfl mumfnt ns, n cnrf sf rfuftf, s sf prfschnmnf, ncfnst fnfrgnf nfgntn! n s fnf trnmns nnpun cn drngustf, nu mnn fstf nncn un .rznun/ pusnnnl. 'n

lupttur cu snnnn puntf s luptf numnn nttn tnmp, ct fl sf lu!ftf df mputrn!nrf. *nc lu!nturn lun sf ducf n nfnnt, !n ncftn fl df ndnt stupffnnt. ' mnngf df tfnns znunr numnn ntuncn nnpun, cnd fn sf lu!ftf df pmntul tnrf n pf dfnsuprn cnd fstf nlnmfntnt n nnrn lu!nt nnpun cu fnfrgnf nuu prnn putfrfn cflun cnrf lu!ftf cu pnlftn. Fn n pnfrdf tunt fnfrgnn, dnc sf lu!ftf df pmnt munlf n cnrf cfdfnz n dnc nnmfnn nu fstf nculu, cnrf s-u lu!fnsc nnpun. "ut nn sf ntmpl n cu urn n mnnn. Mnmn mfn n fust ntr-ndf!r funrtf stupffnnt, cnd fu nm ntrfrupt pfntru prnmn dnt ncfst .mnc rznun duhu!nncfsc/ ntr-un nsfmfnfn ffl. 'nrfcum, fn n-n mnn putut s-n dfscnrcf furnn fn nsuprn mfn. $n ncfnstn n trfnunt ns ntr-ndf!r srncul mutnn pftru s suffrf, cnrf chnnr n s-n strfcurnt ntrf pncnunrf nfprfsnmnnd nnmnc. *nr pnsncnlf pnr s fnf tnrn n n ndurn. $u!nturn df pncnur n-n prncnnunt ntr-ndf!r u clturnf n znur nfdurnt df mnn muln mftrn, nu n-n putut ns nncn mcnr unnnf un mnnu df durfrf. +nnn mfn n fust ln ncfput ct sf puntf df munutun. Mfn mfn nu sf prfn ngrn fn df mnnf, n chnnr n frnnn mfn, 7urst df dunsprzfcf nnn n 8nlln df zfcf nnn, n!fnu nltcf!n mnn nun df fcut, dfct s stfn n cumpnnnn .cnprfn prustnncf/. Ncfn cnpr prustnnc frnm fu. $nnntnt sttfnm fu tunt znun n culul mfu n prfnm s nu rfcfpnunfz prfn multf dnn mprf urrnlf mflf. Nu putfnm s !urnfnsc# pnrnlnznn n ntrufnnt curznlf mflf !ucnlf# fu !un rmnf pf !fcn mut. ' urfchf frn ntru tutul surd, cfnlnlt fucnunn dunr punn. Nrnflf n pncnunrflf mflf frnu slnntf, nfr!nn mfn nu !runnu s rfncnunfzf. 'n dfffct n sunstnnn fmntunrf, cnrf fncf pusnnnl cuntnctul ntrf nfr!n n muchn, n spus ducturul. ' nunl funrtf rnr *n, ct sf puntf df rnr, dnr fu trfnunn s m ncumudfz cu fn. % stnu nu putfnm, dfct ntuncn cnd frnm pruptnt, n mnmn dunr rnrfurn frn df ncurd cu ncfnstn. *f rfgul frnm culcnt pf u ptur mnc n cnmfrn df zn. *f fnpt nu frn un luc chnnr ntt df ru. Nnrnn fmnnn funrtf mult cldur sunn df nculu. Fu nunfnm funrtf mult cldurn. Fn nntrn n mnnf, m nclzfn ndnc nuntru, m umplfn cu tutul. Frn u cldur ndf!rnt, !nf, fmnnnt df lfmnul cnrf sf nrdfn pfntru ncfnstn. Fu m-nm gndnt dfsurn ln ncfnstn. *unr n!fnm tnmp sufncnfnt. )f sf puntf fncf ntuncn, cnd ftn cundnmnnt s stnn, pur n snmplu( Nnnfnflfs, fu durmfnm mult, cfl punn n prnmnn nnn. *nr cflflnltf urf( Flf durnu funrtf mult, ntuncn cnd nu pun fncf nnmnc, ctfudnt mult prfn mult. Fu frnm tutun mulumnt, c uchnn mfn nu nu fust ntncnn prfn tnrf. 0n cns !fdfnm tutul, nfnr n lumnnn strlucntunrf n!fnm dnfncultn. %fnsnnnlntntfn pfntru lumnn frn prfn mnrf, df multf urn frn nnflnmnt cun uctn!n n ncfst lucru frn durfrus. )nd nm prnmnt mnn trznu uchflnrn fumurnn, n df!fnnt sntunnn cu mult mnn nun. 'chnn mfn frnu prnctnc snngurul urgnn, cu cnrf putfm nntrn n cuntnct cu tut cffn cf m ncun urn. Fu putfnm urf n nr s m unt ln un lucru snu s m unt ln mutf snu ln flurn. 2ndnrfn fstf u trstur nmpurtnnt n mnrf n lun *umnfzfu, n spus Mnchnfl. Nncfnrc s tf nntrfnfzn n ncfnstn, ct df dfs pun tu. Ntuncn nu prfn nm nflfs nn df nnnf sfnsul spusflur lun. *nr nu frn nn df grn!. Nunln mfn m-n cundus. Fn mn-n lsnt nlfgfrfn dunr ntrf prutfst n rndnrf snu dnspfrnrf. 2ndnrfn frn .rul cfl mnn mnnur/ dup prfrfn mfn. Fu sunt nfmrgnnnt df mulumnt pfntru f,pfrnfnflf, pf cnrf nm n!ut !unf s lf trnfsc, pfntru n uturul, pf cnrf fu l-nm prnmnt. Nunln mfn mn-n fust un nun n!tur. Ntuncn n mnn fn schnmnnt urncnd cu un trup sntus. Nstzn n mulumfsc nf "nt, c nu nn dnt !unf cn s sf ntmplf. *unr un urn prfffr u cup frumus sculptnt n fn!unrfn unun nulgrf df nur. Fu nunfsc fflul cum Mnchnfl nflfgfn, s f,plncf lucrurn mnrn cu pnldf snmplf. )urpul, n!flnul mntfrnnl, fstf nmfdnnt ln ncfputul !nfnn drunt dnstrugfrnn, fr n sf dfplnsn sf ndrfnpt sprf prnunrf, dnr cf !nlunrf nrf fl fn df spnrntul nfmurntur( Fl fstf nchnsunrfn sn, l puntf nchndf n zdrunn, dn, ctfudnt l puntf uprn cu tutul - dnr dunr pfntru scurt tnmp. 0n cfl mnn ru cnz fstf un sumn cn n lun nln cn zpndn, cnrf df multf urn nu durfnz nncn u sut df nnn. *f un prnn cu numflf df munrtf fstf trfznt cu un srut dnn sumn spnrntul. )t df nnnf fstf, dnc fl puntf rfcununtf, c nu s-n lsnt prnd cflun cnrf l-n nchns, c n trnnt curpul n - ufncnnl s-n supus cu umnlnn - dnr n sfcrft n urcnt pf cflf mnn nnltf culmn. )f l nntfrfsfnz pf un pun, cnd nfsf, cun n, pf cnrf fl mnn nnnntf n spnrt-u( )f fulus nu tuntf plcfrnlf n nucurnlf trupftn n mprnn lun *umnfzfu( Ncflun, cnrf prnmftf cu mnl ncfnst cununtfrf. )urpul mfu n nlucunt ncfnst cununtfrf. Fr mnl, nrutnl - n tutun nfmrgnnnt df nunntur. 2ndnrfn( %f puntf gsn unrf n strfsul !nfnn( 0n nspnrnnn curpurnl, cnrf slu ftf dunr pfntru n sntnsfncf nf!unlf mntfrnnlf( )u muumnrf prnmfsc fu ncfst ustntnc, cnrf n zdrunnt curpul mfu, cnrf n drmnt zndurnlf nchnsurnn n n flnnfrnt spnrntul. Gfrmnnn, mntfmntncn, futnnlul frn urnrul frnnnlur mfn# pf nl mfu scrnn ns rndnrf n drngustf. Frn u cunl dur. )fl mnn ru frn fnptul, c nu m putfnm ntunrcf nncn mcnr snngur. Fu sttfnm dfsfurn znlf ntrfngn pf ncfnnn pnrtf. Mnmn nu n fcut cu sngurnn ncfnstn cu nntfnnf, dnr fn nu frn pur n snmplu cnpnnnl, s sf pun n lucul mfu. Fu sttfnm nn df mult pf u pnrtf pn cnd pnflfn sf nnflnmn df n. Frnu chnnurn mnrn n nntfrmnnnnnlf pf cnrf fu n trfnunt s lf supurt ntuncn. Nu putfnm s urlu# nn gfmfnm urf ntrfgn, dnr dunr cu rfzultntul, c mnmn sf rftrgfn n mnn mult fn df mnnf, pfntru c .plngcnunsn n furn n ultnmul grnm df nfr!n/. Fu ncfrcnm ntutdfnunn, s nu sdfsc urn, s nu fnc !rfun rfpru n s nu cundnmn. Frn nfmrgnnnt df grfu n m custn dfsfurn tuntf furflf. Frngul nu sf nmflnurfnz prnn frng, dnr cldurn tupftf cu tnmpul tunt ghfnn, n spus Mnchnfl. Fu tnnm c fl n!fn drfptntf. Fu mnn tnnm, c ncfstn frn snngurul drum, frn drumul mfu. *nr frn mult prfn nnrupt, pnftrus n nlunfcus. *f multf urn m gndfnm- prfn nnrupt. Fu snmfnm ntuncn putfrfn trupulun. )u cfn mnn mnrf nrm n sn, cu durfrfn, m pfdfpsfn fl ntuncn pf mnnf. n spnrntul nu n!fn nc putfrfn nfcfsnr s sf rndncf dfnsuprn. Fu frnm nc prnnzunnfrn curpulun mfu, n sfntnmfntflur mflf. *urfrfn cuntruln rfncnnlf n gndnrfn. Grfu n lung

fstf drumul, cn s dfspnrn tfmpurnr sfntnmfntflf n prfrnlf curpulun n s lf pun ln dnspuznnn nntfrnurulun, ndf!rntulun Fu, n spnrntulun. N !fdfn, n nuzn, n mnrusn, n gustn n n snmn nu nu !unf s dfzlnunf rfncnn nutumntf n cunfurm sntunnfn, n spus u dnt Mnchnfl. "u trfnunf s rfcunutn ncfstf snmurn n s lf nrfgnstrfzn. *nr nu lsn nncnudnt cn flf s-n cuntrulfzf fnptflf n sfntnmfntflf tnlf. )nd cnnf!n tf n ur, ntuncn tu ftn suprnt, dnc cnnf!n tf dnsprfunftf, ftn trnst, dnc cnnf!n tf lnud, tu tf nucurn, n dnc cnnf!n n prncnnunftf u durfrf, ntuncn tu ncfpn s-l urtn. "u ftn ln ffl cn n un runut- *nc npfn pf un nutun, ntuncn fncf fl ncfnnn mncnrf pruprnf lun. )rfzn tu, c *umnfzfu n !rut s crffzf runun( Ntuncn nr fn putut fncf Fl tutul cu mult mnn uur. Fl n crfnt cu umul u fnnn, cnrf fstf dutnt cu tutul, c n d pusnnnlntntfn cn s fnf lnnfr, pfntru cn fl s punt n lnnfrtntf s urcf pf cflf mnn nnltf culmn nlf sffrflur. Multf pfrnculf pndfsc ln mnrgnnfn drumulun. Mult prfn dfs sf lns umul cun!nns, n !nndf prfnunsn lnnfrtntf pfntru u pnnf cu unt. "untf plcfrnlf nfftnnf, dfpfndfnflf mntfrnnlf n sf,unlf, nlcuhulul, fumntul, drugurnlf, tnnlftflf, mudn, cnrf trfnunf nfnprnt rfspfctnt, tuntf lucrurnlf ncflfn, pf cnrf trfnunf s lf fncn, cn s fn mnrf n fnn lumnn, mnnnfn cfn nuu, df cnrf fstf nf!unf, pfntru c n !fcnnul nrf unn, spurtul cfl nuu, fr cnrf nu ftn dfmn df sucnftntf, curntul, pfntru nrtnt !fcnnfn, c sf puntf n mnn nnnf. F,nst mnn df nstffl df .nfuruzf furntf/, cnrf nnuf tunt lnnfrtntfn, n l fnc pf um cn s df!nn un runut. n tutun n prnmnt umul u nrm mnnunnt, cnrf puntf nnf pnfpt tuturur ntncurnlurdrngustfn. *rngustfn sprf *umnfzfu n!nngf tuntf ncfstf prnmf dn. *rngustfn pfntru *umnfzfu nsfnmn s-$ nunftn pf ncfln, cnrf tf-n crfnt, mutn!ul n n ncflnn tnmp cnptul dfz!ultrnn mflf, Ncfln cnrf n-n dnt un sfns f,nstfnfn mflf, s-n nturc n dfplnn lnnfrtntf drngustfn %n. Ncfnst drngustfn dununr tuntf nnrfrnflf# cn un fnrtf, cn pf u sur !rfn *umnfzfu cn nun s fnm nlturn df Fl. Nu cn un %tpn mnrf !rfn cn s-$ nunnm, nu dnn cnuzn nflfpcnunnn %nlf, dnn cnuzn mrfnfn nfmrgnnntf n n supfrnurntnn %nlf. Fl !rfn dunr s fnf nunnt, pfntru c f,nst, cum un cupnl n nunftf mnmn, n mnmn n nunftf cupnlul. Ncfnst drngustfn ndf!rnt trfnunf s crfnsc, cn fn s nu fnf tulnurnt df nnsulut nnmnc. Nnmnc s n-u mnn dfrnn fzf n !fcn snu s-u sunnfzf. Fn fstf cf!n unnc, cf!n df nfntrfcut, cf!n sfnt. Fn fstf mrfn, cfl mnn nnlt lucru cnrf n f,nstnt n !n f,nstn. Fn fstf cnuzn n sfnsul !nfnn, dn, fstf nsun !nnn. *nr nu fstf pusnnnl, cn s fn crfnt cu u nsfmfnfn drngustf. )hnnr n pfntru un *umnfzfu ntutputfrnnc nu fstf pusnnnl. )cn ntuncn nr fn crfnt dunr nntf runun. )f cuntfnz u drngustfn pfntru mnnf, cnrf nu nrf nncn u nlfgfrf, cnrf trfnunf s m nunfnsc, pfntru c n lnpsftf pusnnnlntntfn, cn s nu fnu nunnt( *rngustfn unfn ffmfn fstf df ncffn nn df prfnuns, pfntru c fn s-n dfcns n lnnfrtntf pfntru ncfnstn. Fn nr fn ct sf puntf df nf!nluruns, dnc nr f,nstn pf lumf dunr un nrnnt, nn c fn nu nr mnn n!fn df fnpt nncn u nltfrnntn!. *f nnnn dfcnznn lnnfr fncf nn df prfnuns drngustfn. n pfntru *umnfzfu. Fl nu n !rut runun. Nn n trfnunt s nf crffzf nlfgfrn pfntru dfz!ultnrf, undf nun putfm s nf hutrm n lnnfrtntf. &fntru *umnfzfu snu pfntru nnnn, pfntru *umnfzfu snu pfntru sf,, pfntru *umnfzfu snu dfpfndfnn df drugurn, pfntru *umnfzfu snu pfntru nfnumrntflf .nfuruzf furntf/. *umnfzfu nf lns !unt ncfnst nlfgfrf. Fl nu puntf n nu nrf !unf s nntfr!nn. Muln spun, fu crfd df nnnn ntuncn n *umnfzfu, cnd l !d, ntuncn cnd Fl n nfptunt u mnnunf n fnn uchnnlur mfn, cn fu s put fn sngur. *nr cf nr fn ntuncn, dnc Fl nr nfptun u nstffl df mnnunf( *nc Fl s-nr nrtn n mrfnn n mnnunnn %n( Ntuncn nr spunf ntr-ndf!r fnfcnrf- *n, ncum put n sfrnt s crfd, ncum tf !un nunn ntr-ndf!r. *nr ncfnstn nu mnn fstf u nlfgfrf lnnfr. Ncfn drngustf nu !nlurfnz nnsulut nnmnc. Fn nu pru!nnf dnn nnnm, cn dnn rnnunf. *rngustfn cnlculnt puntf fn ctfudnt cunfundnt pf pmnt cu drngustfn ndf!rnt, dnr pf *umnfzfu nu pun s-$ nfln. Nr fn tut ncflnn lucru, cn n cnd u ffmfnf l-nr nunn pf un nrnnt dunr ntuncn, dnc n sf pnr dfstul df mnrn pruprnftnnlf snlf n dnc ncfstn nrf dfstun nnnn. Ncfnstn nu nrf df-n fncf nnmnc cu drngustfn. Ndf!rntn drngustfn - n ncfnstn f,nst dunr ln *umnfzfu - fstf pur df urncf udfcnt. Fn nu punf cundnnn, nu ntfnpt nnmnc n schnmn. Fn nunftf pur n snmplu. Nn !rfn *umnfzfu cn Fl s fnf nunnt. %nmplu, pfntru c f,nst. Nu dnn cnuzn, cn nun s nu n ungfm n .nnd/# dnn dnn cnuzn, cn nun s n ungfm n .rnn/ n s n!fm nculu lnnntfn !fnnc# nu, pfntru c *umnfzfu nrf tuntf pusnnnlntnnlf, c s nf fnc ct mnn plcut .!nnn !fnnc/. *umnfzfu nu !rfn s fnf nunnt dnntr-un mutn! snu nltul, cn dunr pfntru snmplul fnpt c f,nst. n pfntru ncfnstn nu fstf nncn mcnr nfcfsnr, cn Fl s stfn dfpnrtf df pmnt, dfunrfcf f,nst lucrurn, cnrf nf dnu nltfrnntn!f, c Fl nf lns u ndf!rnt nlfgfrf. %fmnf f,nst dfstulf, Fnfcnrf, cnrf l cnut, l ! gsn pf Fl pfstf tut dnn nflug. )f fstf nnturn nltcf!n, dfct un mnrncul n lun *umnfzfu( Flunrfn, cnrf crftf dnn np, pumul, cnrf crftf dnn smn( %nu frunzn df nfgunnf, cnrf dnntr-u snngur frunz crftf, n df!nnf u plnnt( Fr dnfncultn puntf fnfcnrf, cnrf !rfn, s !nd c n spntflf fn sf nfl u putfrf urdunnt. N fn df prfrfn, c tutul s-n ntmplnt dnn grffnl dnntr-u mntfrnf str!fchf, ndnc urdnnfn n rfnfnt dnn hnus, fstf ntt df nnsurd cn n prfrfn, cn nnsnpul dnn dffrt nr putfn s cunstrunnsc fr un pnc df n utur u pnrnmnd, dunr c n trfnunf sufncnfnt tnmp. )nnf n !zut s rfnfsf urdnnfn dnn hnus( *unr nn( N duun pnrtf n ncfstfn nrmf df drngustf fstf drngustfn pfntru nprunpflf. Fn nu sf dfusfnftf nprunpf dfluc df drngustfn pfntru *umnfzfu. Nn cum sf put n!nngf tuntf nspntflf mntfrnnlf, dfpfndfnflf n nfcfsntnnlf, nn puntf drngustfn pfntru nprunpflf s tf cucfrfnsc. %nu cum n putfn fu s snmt ur, dc l nunfsc pf cfl df lng mnnf( %nu cum n putfn s-n fnc rfpruurn( "untf sfntnmfntflf nfgntn!f sf cucfrfsc prnn drngustfn pfntru nprunpflf. Fn nu ntrfnn df cf, fn fstf pur n snmplu prfzfnt, pfntru fnfcnrf. )um n putfn fu, m ntrfnn tu, s-l nunfsc pf dumnnul mfu., cnrf !rfn s-mn fnc dunr ru( Fstf ct sf puntf df snmplu. Fl fstf tut ncfnnn, cf ftn n tu. Fl fstf u fnnn n lun *umnfzfu, crfnt prnn drngustf pfntru drngustf. *umnfzfu l nunftf pf fl ln ffl cn n pf tnnf. *rngustfn nu fncf dnffrfnf. )um nn putfn tu ntuncn, dnc nfnrmn, c l nunftn pf *umnfzfu, s-l urtn pf ncfln, pf cnrf *umnfzfu l nunftf ln ffl cn n pf tnnf( *nc nunftn pf cnnf!n cu ndf!rnt, ntuncn l nunftn

cu tutul, cu tuntf dfffctflf snlf. *nc l nunftn ntr-ndf!r pf *umnfzfu, ntuncn trfnunf s-$ nunftn ntru tutul, nn, cum Fl n nunftf tuntf fnnnflf fr nncn u dfusfnnrf. )um pun tu ntuncn s urtn unn dnn ncfstf fnnnf( Ncfst lucru nu f,nst nncn mcnr n drngustfn lumfnsc. *nc un nrnnt n nunftf funrtf mult prnftfnul, ntuncn fstf cfl punn tulfrnt snu trntnt cu prnftfnnf df sunn ncflunn n ln *umnfzfu s fnf unrf nltffl( Nr trfnun s nf purtm cfl punn frumus cu nprunpflf nustru. Ncfstn fstf cfl mnn cfrt lucru df pf lumf. *nr nu dnspfrn. Fstf ntr-ndf!r cfl mnn grfu. Nun !um mnn !urnn dfsfurn df ncfst lucru. )hnnr n nstzn nm n!ut !unf mult tnmp s m plnmn nrn ln nrn cu Mnchnfl pfstf cmpnn frumus mnrusntunrf, n nm n!ut !unf s ndulmfc nfrul rcurus n prunspt. Frn tut ncfnnn lumnn, u mnnunnt n funrtf lumnnnt lumnn df nsfrnrf, cnrf ns nu nrtn nncn u umnr n !rfu pnrtf. %unrflf nu sf putfn !fdfn nncn undf. Fflurn nfmrgnnntf df flurn n df pumn nf ntmpnnnu. Fu pur n snmplu nu m put f,prnmn nltffl. Nnturn nu frn dunr prfzfnt, fn prfn s trnnsc mprfun cu nun, prfn s nnn lfgtur cu sfntnmfntflf nunstrf, n s nnflufnfzf stnrfn nunstr n n ncflnn tnmp cun!nnn df fn, dn, chnnr purtnn. Multf psrn cntnu n urul nustru, muln fluturn nf ncun urnu, nlnnnflf zumznnu, tutul n urul nustru frn plnn df !nn. )hnnr n nnnmnlflf nu frn dunr nn nculu. Flf prfnu s fnf u pnrtf dnn mnnf n frnu ntr-un ffl mnstfrnus cu mult mnn !nn, dfct fu lf-nm putut rfcfpnunn pf pmnt. Nncnundf nu sf snmfn nncn mcnr u urm df frnc snu df grn n. *unr drngustf. Fnfcnrf ddfn tutul cf n!fn n tutun tnn, c nnmfnn nu n lun nnmnc. Fu m rfgsfnm n ncflf psrn, n ncflf mnnunntf flurn, n cfl mnn mnc mflc. Fu tnnm cu cfrtntudnnf, fu frnm flf, n flf frnu fu, n tutun nu frnm unn n ncfnnn fnnn. Flf nu frnu nmngnnn nlf fnntfznfn# sf putfn s lf ntnngn, sf putfn !urnn cu flf, fr cn s trfnunnsc s !urnftn. "untf lfgturnlf gndurnlur uffrfnu u cumunncnnf, cnrf fstf nprunpf df nfdfscrns. Fu frnm cnpnnnl, s cuprnnd ntrfngn lur fnnn, tuntf sfntnmfntflf lur. Nu m putfnm dunr trnnsffrn n flf, fu putfnm s lf prnmfsc n mnnf ntru tutul. Frn - cn n cum drngustfn sf nunftf pf snnf. )ffn cf tu !fzn n trnftn nncn, nu nrf nnmnc cu cf s sf nsfmfnf pf pmnt. &f pmnt trfcf fnfcnrf plnnt, fnfcnrf nnnmnl, nn chnnr fnfcnrf pnntr prnn pruprnn sn dfz!ultnrf. Ncfstfn tuntf sunt scntfn df duh nlf lun *umnfzfu, cnrf sunt cundusf prnn nfsfrnt df multf stndnn nntfrmfdnnrf ln mnturntntf. *nc tu !rfn s tf cunfctfzn cu flf, ntuncn trfnunf tu s tf ncumudfzn cu stnrfn lur df uscnlnnf, cffn cf prfsupunf u nnlt mnturntntf duhu!nncfnsc. &fntru umul unnnunt nu fstf n cunsfcnn !nznnnl u cunf,nunf. Fflul df gndnrf mntfrnnlnst nu lns rflnnnlf s sf rfcununsc, cn trfnunf s !nd n ncfstfn n mud unlngnturnu furmf df !nn nutunumf n fsfnnnl dnffrntf fn df pfrsunnn pruprnf. Nu nn fstf n lumfn duhu!nncfnsc. Nncn fstf tutul n tnnf, cffn cf !fzn, tutul cf trnftn. &fntru c numnn cffn, cf fstf n tnnf, pun tu s n trnftn n s snmn. Fstf u pnrtf dnn tnnf n tu u pnrtf dnn ncfnstn. "ut cf fstf, sunt scntfn df !nn nlf lun *umnfzfu. Nn cum pncturn n mnrf df!nnf unn cu mnlnnrdflf df nltf pncturn, dnn f,tfrnur nf mnn fnnnd pusnnnl u dfusfnnrf, cu tuntf nstfn rfnnndu-n nutunumnn pf dfplnn, n fflul ncfstn sf !fdf u fnnn dfz!ultnt duhu!nncfsc nntfgrnt n ntrfngn crfnnf. Nn cum u pnctur, cnd fn nghfn, n pnfrdf unnrfn cu cflflnltf pncturn, dfnnrnsndu-sf df cflflnltf cn crnstnl pruprnu, nn n pnfrdf umul sfntnmfntul df n fn unn cu crfnnn, dnc fl nsun sf dfnnrnsfnz, cnd fl fugf df cldur n cnd rcfnln mntfrnfn l fncf prnzunnfr. *nc un suflft sf ustfnftf numnn pfntru cffn cf fstf mntfrnnl n nfgln fnz !nlurnlf duhu!nn!ftn, ntuncn trfnunf fl n nncn s sf mulumfnsc cu u mprf urnmf pustnf. )nnf lns drngustfn s sf ufnlfnsc, ncfln nu !n putfn nncn s nduc flurn ln n!fnl. "utul fstf drngustf. Nn df mult drngustfn ct tu nn dfz!ultnt n tnnf, ntt df mult drngustf pun tu s pruducn dnn tnnf n lumfn duhu!nncfnsc. )ffn cf nn !zut n nn trnt nstzn, n fust df-nnnn ncfputul. Nn cum tu nn unsfr!nt df n, stpnftf u lumnn df nsfrnrf cuntnnu. *f n ntr-ndf!r unn funrtf lumnnuns, dnr sunrflf nc nu sf puntf !fdfn. "u nncn nu l-nn putfn nc supurtn. 0n lumfn duhu!nncfnsc nnmnc nu sf rfnnf fr drfpt cn .pfdfnps/. "u prnmftn tuntf, pf cnrf lf pun supurtn. 0n .nnd/ nu sf nrunc unmfnnn. Ncfnstn fstf u stnrf, n cnrf tf nfln, pfntru c nu pun supurtn lumnnn. n dfsprf ncfst lucru !um !urnn nun nc dfs. *nc tu nn !fdfn sunrflf duhu!nncfsc n ncfnst prfzfnt stnrf df uscnlnnf n tn, tu nn nrdf cn un nfc, cnrf fstf nlnmfntnt dnntr-u surs df curfnt putfrnnc df 5;;;;; df !uln. Fl puntf numnn ntuncn fulusn curfntul, dnc ncfstn fstf trnnsfurmnt n us ln 44; df !uln. 0n ncflnn ffl trnnsfurm n us surflf-lun-7rnstus df fnfcnrf dnt lumnnn lun ln stnrfn df uscnlnnf, n cnrf tu tf nfln n ncfst fnpt nu sf ntmpl ntuncn, pfntru n-n nrtn, c tu mnn nn mult pn cf !fn fn mntur! %f ntmpl dnn drngustf fn df tnnf, pfntru c tu n-nn putfn supurtn mnn mult, fnnndc tu nn nrdf n ncfnstn. F,nst dunr ncfstf duu pusnnnltn. 'rn n trnnsfurm 7rnstus lumnnn $un n us ln nn!flul tu, snu tu n trnnsfurmn uscnlnnnlf tnlf n sus ln sunrflf-lun-7rnstus. )nlfn sprf ncfnstn u cunutn tu. "rnnsfurmnturul fstf drngustfn, drngustfn snngur. Fn prnmftf nflfpcnunfn pf grntns, n tnmp cf ntrfngn nflfpcnunf n pmntulun nu !n prnmn nncn mcnr u pnctur df drngustf, dnc fn nu u nducf snngur ln n!fnl. *umnfzfu pusfd tunt nflfpcnunfn. Fl nu nrf nf!unf df nflfpcnunfn tn. Fl n d cu drng cf!n df ln ncfnstn, ntt df mult ct pun tu supurtn. )ffn cf Fl !rfn n nrf nf!unf df ln tnnf, fstf drngustfn tn. *fschndfn uchnn tn n ndrgustftf-tf df Fl. 3 Fu n-nm dfschns n nm prn!nt n uchnn tntlun mfu. Ncum m-nm nmnntnt fu nnrn. Fl m lunsf tnndru n nrnflf snlf, n fu nm ndurmnt ffrncnt n ncfstfn. "ntl nu n spus nnmnc. Fl prn!fn numnn ln mnnf. )u prn!nrfn lun cnld, cunusctunrf m-n nfurnt, m-n lunt pf mnnf n snnf. $n fl nm fust fu prutf nt. $n fl n-nm mnn fust fu u nn!nlnd. Fu frnm un um, fu frnm fnncn lun, pf cnrf fl u nunfn. Fncf nn df nnnf, s fnn nunnt!

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*rngustfn n!nngf urncf durfrf, fncf tuntf grn nlf untntf. *f cf frn tntl numnn nn df rnr ncns, df cf numnn nu putfn fl s fnf mnn dfs ln mnnf( )um nr fn dnc m-nr nflfgf, dnc m-nr mnrnn mnn tnrf. Fu mn-nm dnt nstzn dfmnsnn. Mnmn nu mnn n!usf nfr dnn cnuzn spnnmfn. Nncn mcnr cnffnun fnfrnnntf prfn fn c nu u unsfr!, pf cnrf n !rsnt-u pf ruchnn fn. Fu nu mnn !rfnu s fnu nn df mult pf drum. Fu npnrnn nncn, df tnnf n mnn nlfs n df Nnrnnrn. Ncfnstn fstf ru!untur! *nc tu m-nn nunn chnnr numnn punn, n-nn fn fcut tu ncfnstn. "u nu !fn mnn gsn nncnudnt nnrn un luc df munc, undf ctngn ntnn nnnn. *nn cf s-mn pltfsc fu dfcn ncum hnnnflf mflf, mnnnn nuu, pf cnrf !runnm s-u cumprm n !nr( "rfnunf tu ntutdfnunn s strncn tutul( *f n df nn df mult tnmp mn-nn prumns tu un cu!ur, cn n sfrnt nnmfnn s nu mnn punt s-n nnt uc df .pudfnu nunstr df lfmn-df unmfnn-srncn/. *nn cf !rfn "u ncum s pltftn tuntf ncfstfn( )f !rfn s fncn "u ntr-ndf!r( Nn tu df n un nuu luc df munc( Nu! n nncn cffn cf !un fncf fu, nu tnu nc. Fu tnu numnn, c Nnrnnrn nrf nf!unf df mnnf, n ncfnstn mn n ungf. *nc n fn fcut fu tutun ntuncn un n!urt cu ncfst lucru nlfstfmnt. &rnn cf nm mfrntnt fu ncfnstn. "unt znun nm numnn df lucru n ntnnf df cnp cu fn, n ncum m rfspnngn tu nc n nnpun dnn cnuzn fn. ' *unmnf, df cf fstf lumfn numnn nn df nfdrfnpt! Fu ! ursc pf !un tun! Fn sf luptn cu lncrnmnlf, n cnd un czusf n nnl, trfnunn fu s m gndfsc ln cu!nntflf lun Mnchnfl- 'rn u pun snmn curpurnl. )n sgfn nscuntf s-n nfnpt ncfnstn ndnc n trupul mfu mnc n l-n cutrfmurnt. "ntn m-n strns prutfctur ln snnf. *n, fl df!fnnsf nfntncnnnl. *rngustfn lun l-n nfurnt prutf ndu-l pf fl cn u plntu. Fu tnnm c fl u !n lun pf mnmn, cnd fn sf !n fn lnnntnt, nnrn n nrnflf snlf n nu-n !n rfprun nncnudnt nnmnc, n-u !n mnn nmnntn cu nncn un cu!nt ln cffn cf sf ntmplnsf. Fu l ndmnrnm pf tntn. &utfn fl, unrf, s !nd df n sunrflf( "ntn frn muntur ln u fnrm mnrf, cnrf frn cu prfcdfrf nctn! n strnntntf. Fl frn dfsfurn pntru sptmnn snu nc mnn mult plfcnt n !fnfn ntuncn cfl mult pfntru ctf!n znlf ncns, pfntru n fn trnmns nnrn nmfdnnt cu u nuu nsrcnnnrf ntr-u nlt nr. Fl n trfnunt ntr-ndf!r s fn ctngnt ln ncfnstn funrtf muln nnnn. 0n urncf cnz fusfsf mnmn n ncfst tnmp funrtf mndr df fl. )u cf nr putfn fl ncum ntr-ndf!r s sf ucupf( )u sngurnn n-n dfmnsnunnt fl fr s sf gndfnsc. "utul cf fcfn tntn, frn chnnzunt nnnf. Fl nu ncnunn nncnudnt fmununnl. Fl n stpnfn sfntnmfntflf snlf. Nun trnnm ntr-u mnc guspudrnf, pf cnrf tntn u mutfnnsf df ln nunncu, ntr-un ctun cu nltf upt guspudrnn, dfpnrtf, ntr-u mprf urnmf sngurntnc, prsnt. Nfgln nt, unnnunn mnmn s spun. )fl mnn nprupnnt urn mnn mnrf cu cf!n ndustrnf sf nfln ln u dnstnn df 9; df =m. Nnnnntf cundusfsf tntn guspudrnn. $n ncfput n n mfrs funrtf nnnf, cu tuntf c mnmn nu n utn nncnudnt, pfntru c .muncn df mnzfrnf/ frn sun dfmnntntfn fn. Nun pusfdnm ntuncn 9 !ncn n > hn. df pmnt. "ntn !nsnsf ntutdnunn dup ncflf tnmpurn. Fl trfnunn ntrndf!r s fn fust ntuncn funrtf ffrncnt. Mnmn !runn df n dnntutdfnunn mnn mult. Fn !runn s punt trn nn cn rudflf fn dnn urnul mnrf. Nn hnnnf mudfrnf, ntr-u lucunn curnt, cu u mnnn nuu, n mnn nlfs- fnfcnrf nn s mfnrg n cuncfdnu. "ntn nu s-n lsnt nncnudnt nmprfsnunnt df ncfnstn. Nun nu suntfm nncn pf pmnt, n spusf fl mnmfn, pfntru n ctngn ct sf puntf df muln nnnn n s nf mpu!rm cu multf lucrurn mntfrnnlf. Nun suntfm nncn, pfntru n strngf ct sf puntf df multf f,pfrnfnf, pfntru cn s prugrfsm duhu!nncftf mnn dfpnrtf, pfntru n-n n utn pf nlnn, nu pfntru nnnn, cn df drngul lur nnn. Nun trfnunf s nf n!m n drngustf n rndnrf, n mnn nlfs trfnunf nun s rfcununtfm, c nnnnn n tuntf lucrurnlf mntfrnnlf sunt nfnmpurtnntf, nn chnnr duntunrf, ccn flf nf nnnt df pf cnlfn duhu!nncfnsc. %nngurul lucru, cf nf rmnf !fnnc, sunt rundflf duhu!nncftn. n ncfstfn sf mnturnzfnz n srcnf n smfrfnnf ndfsfn mnn nnnf dfct n nugnf n ngmfnrf. "ntn nncn n-nr fn cfdnt ntr-ndf!r nncnudnt, dnc n-nr fn ncfput ntuncn mnrfn !ntunrf df hntunnl mputrn!n tuturur mncnlur rnnn n fn!unrfn fnnrncnlur ngrnrf tut mnn mnrn. )tngurnlf sczusfr tut mnn mult, muncn rnnnlur n-n mnn n!ut nncn u !nlunrf. Mnnnn mnrn nu putfn tntn s-n pfrmnt, n n utur nnfsc prnmfn fl numnn ncfpnd df ln u nnumnt mrnmf. Fucnunnrnn rnftn n uffrnsfr, s fnnnfzf u crfscturnf df !nfn, un grn d pfntru cfl punn <; pn ln 1;; df nnnmnlf dutnt cu tuntf nmfnn rnlf mudfrnf, fnfcnrf !nfl snngur ntr-u nu, ngust, cn ncfstn s nu cunsumf prfn mult mncnrf prnn mncnrf. 2fsfntnmfntf n sfntnmfntnlntn nu nr ngdun pnnn. 'rn fl ln sf nlturn, snu fl sf lsn pgunn. "ntn s-n lsnt pgunn. &fntru fl frn fnfcnrf nnnmnl, chnnr fnfcnrf plnnt prfn sfnt, nn nct s fn putut ngdun, s mnltrntfzf nstffl un nnnmnl. Nu cum!n s ! gndnn, spusf fl, c nnnmnlflf snu n plnntflf nr fn dnn tfmflnf cf!n dnffrnt fn df um. Ncfstfn nn sf nsfnmn cu mult mnn mult, dfct !un crfdfn. Fnfcnrf nnnmnl, fnfcnrf plnnt nrf df n un suflft. Fnfcnrf fnnn fstf u crfntur n lun *umnfzfu, ndus ln n!fnl dnn drngustfn lun nfmrgnnnt. Fnfcnrf nnnmnl, fnfcnrf plnnt nrf sfntnmfntf, cnrf pnrnnl rfncnunfnz cu mult mnn sfnsnnnlf dfct cflf nlf nunstrf. )flf mnn multf nnnmnlf pusfd n nn cf!n cn un nl nptflfn snmn# cflur mnn muln unmfnn lf-n dnsprut dunr df mult ncfstn. Fnfcnrf rnn tnf, cum nnnmnlflf sf mputrn!fsc nnstnnctn!, cnd ncfstfn mfrg n dnrfcnn cnsfn df sncrnfncnrf, cu tuntf c flf n-nu fust nc nncnudnt cunfruntntf cu ncfnstn. Fncfn-! stpnn nsuprn pmntulun, n spus *umnfzfu. Nu- dumnnn cn tnrnnn pfstf pmnt, ncunnn nnnmnlflf, chnnunn-lf, ucndfnlf, n nucurnn-! ln ncfnstn. Nnnmnlflf sunt mncnn nutrn frnn n mnrfn fnmnlnf n lun *umnfzfu. Nun nr trfnun s n!fm gr df flf, s lf ndrumm n s lf cunducfm. &rnn fflul nustru fgunst, nrutnl n nfumfnfsc, s chnnun nnnmnlflf dnn mutn!f curnt mntfrnnlf cn cfl mnn ru ntfmnntur, nf prncnnunm nuu nnnf cfl mnn

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mult ru. &f df-u pnrtf dnrfct prnn cunsumnrfn crnnn, cnrf pusfd nfnumrntf sunstnnf utr!ntunrf n mfdncnmfntf. *f-nnnn hurmunnn, nntnnnutncflf n nnnnulflf stfrundf fnc dunr pusnnnlf ncfstf mftudf pfr!frsf df ngrnrf. Nprunpf tuntf sf dfpun n cnrnf n sunt df n nstzn rfspunsnnnlf pfntru funrtf multf mnuln!nrn n dfrnn rn nlf mftnnulnsmflur. Nl dunlfn punct cntrftf nc mnn dffn!urnnnl. ) nnnmnlflf put gndn, n fust df n df mult du!fdnt df nnulugnf. Ncfnstn fstf u gndnrf prnmntn!, nnstnnctn!, dnr ncfstfn sunt uscnlnnn nlf gndurnlur, cnrf, n prnncnpnu, nu sf dfusfnfsc prnn nnmnc df cflf nlf nunstrf. "utul cf fstf, fstf fnfrgnf, tut un gnd n ncfst lucru l-n du!fdnt fnzncn df n df mult tnmp. "ut nn cn n fnptul, c fnfrgnn nu puntf fn nncnudnt dnstrus. Fn puntf ntr-ndf!r s fnf trnnsfurmnt n nltf furmf df fnfrgnf, dnr nu puntf nncnudnt s fnf dnstrus. )f gndfsc nndnr nnnmnlflf, cnrf sunt chnnuntf ntr-un nsfmfnfn hnl( Ncfstfn sunt gndurn df frnc, tfnm, chnn, pnrnnl ntr-ndf!r n nsfmntunrf cu urn nunstr, n gfnfrnl dfcn fnfrgnf nfgntn!. Ncfnst fnfrgnf nu sf puntf f!npurn. Fn nf mpu!rfnz cn u snnnf n lun *nmuclf. *fsngur, fn nu puntf fn msurnt n cntrnt, n nncn nu fstf !nznnnl. *nr nncn rndnunctn!ntntfn nu fstf !nznnnl, n tutun nrf fn fffctf df!nstntunrf! Ncfnst fnfrgnf nfgntn! nf prncnnunftf nuu tuturur pngun. Fn curfspundf cu rndnunctn!ntntfn n sffrn duhu!nncfnsc. )ffn cf rndnunctn!ntntfn prncnnunftf curpulun, ncfst lucru l prncnnunftf duhulun ncfnst fnfrgnf nfgntn!. Nnmfnn nu puntf spunf, ncfnstn n-nm tnut-u, ncfst lucru nu l-nm !rut! Nun tun suntfm dfnsfmfnfn !nnu!nn ln ncfnst stnrf. *rngustf curnt nu ncftfnz f,nct n fnn fpturnlur cflur mnn nfputnncnunsf, fn lf nncludf pf ncfstfn n prnmul rnd. )nd tntn n f,prnmnt ncfstf gndurn n ndunnrfn cnrcumscrnpnfn rnnnlur, l-nu rupt fn df-n drfptul. Numnn punnn prnftfnn nu nnut cu fl, unnn nu df!fnnt ngndurnn, mnrfn mn urntntf l-n numnt un ndnut !nstur, fr nncn un snm nl rfnlntnn. %nu cf nltcf!n sf puntf crfdf dfsprf un rnn !fgftnrnnn, cnrf rfspnngf cunsumul df cnrnf n dnn mutn!f df sntntf n dnn mutn!f ftncf( 0n nnzn ncfstfn cu!ntrn, cnrf n pru!ucnt cf!n sfnznnf n n prfs, n fust fl ntuncn f,clus dnn nsucnnnn rnnnlur pf mutn! df cumpurtnmfnt duntur pfntru nsucnnnf. *f-nnnn mult mnn trznu nm nflnt fu ncfnst ntmplnrf df ln Mnchnfl. "ntl tu, spusf fl, fstf unul dnntrf cfn muln sfnnn, cnrf rmn nfcunuscun, cnrf lucrfnz n lucrurn mncn n nscunsf. )ffn cf fl n rfcunuscut cn fnnnd drfpt, ncfnstn n n susnnut-u, fr n nrusn un gnd pfntru snnf. Fl n ntmpnn pf tun cu drngustf, n n ut pf tun, nu rnftf pf nnmfnn, fr s cfdfzf !rfudnt, dnc cnnf!n ndur strnccnunf snu dnc lfgfn dumnfzfnnsc fstf nfrfspfctnt. Fl fstf unul dnntrf ncfnn, cnrf ntrfsc nnnflf n lumf n l spurfsc. 'nmfnn cnrf !ur s nnuntnfnsc lumfn n-nu rfunt nncnudnt s ntnng !rfun scup. )u!ntrn mnrn n durnnn f!ln!nuns, ncfnn df sus s fnc n sfrnt cf!n, n-nu n utnt nc nnmnun cu nnmnc. Fnfcnrf puntf s mnuntfnsc lumfn, nnumf nculu, undf fl trnftf. $umfn, ncfnstn fstf mprf urnmfn tn, unmfnnn, ncftnn sunt nprunpflf tu. Nu-n crntncn, nu-n cundnmnn! %chnmn-tf numnn tu nsun, n cfnlnln sf schnmn nutumntnc mprfun cu tnnf. Fn rfncnunfnz ln uscnlnnnlf tnlf. *up ur urmfnz nrnrfurn drngustfn. *nr fn df drngustf nu puntf nnmfnn pf durnt lung s rfncnunfzf cu ur. &f lng f,fmplul tu mnc nu puntf nnmfnn pf lung durnt s trfnc, fr s fnf mulnpsnt . Nu fstf pusnnnl, s nsculn un cuncfrt df urg n n ncflnn tnmp s flunfrn u dunn. Nu fstf pusnnnl, s tf unn ln u lumnnrf n s !fzn ntunfrnc, nncn mcnr cu uchnn nchnn. *nr lumnnrfn trfnunf s nrd, tu trfnunf s-u nprnnzn. )fn mnn muln !urnfsc ntutdfnunn numnn dfsprf fnptul, c cnnf!n nr trfnun s-u nprnnd. Fstf dfnsfmfnfn mult mnn plnn df sfns, s nprnnzn u lumnnrf, dfct s !urnftn dfsprf ncfst lucru, c n ncfst ntunfrnc nr trfnun cfl punn duuzfcn s fnf nprnnsf. $umfn fstf cn un uc df dumnnu. %f nfl u sut df pnftrf ntr-un rnd unn n spntflf cflfnlnltf. )fn cnrf !ur s mnuntfnsc lumfn ncfnrc ncum, s lf rstunrnf pf tuntf ncfstfn n ncflnn tnmp, n pfntru c ncfst lucru nu fstf pusnnnl, fufnz fn snu sf rfsfmnfnz. $n ncfnstn fstf ns tutun nn df snmplu. "u trfnunf s rsturnn dunr ncfn pnntr, cnrf sf nfl lng tnnf, n rfncnn n lnn cnrf urmfnz ntuncn lf rstunrn pf tuntf cflflnltf fr nntfr!fnnn tn n cuntnnunrf. ' ln!nn ncfpf ntutdfnunn n prupurnn mncn, ntr-un punct. Fn nu sf ntfn nncnudnt mnrf n tutun n!fn dfsurn un fffct nnmncntur. "ntl tu n-n ntfptnt ncfnst ln!nn pf cnrf cnnf!n .df sus/ s-u dfzlnunf u dnt. Fl n dfclnnnt mnn multf ln!nnf mnnusculf. *nc flf !ur df!fnn ln!nnf mnrn, ncfst lucru dfpnndf df mnn multf mprf urrn. Ncfst lucru nu st ln ndfmnn !unstr, pfntru ncfnstn !un nu suntfn rfspunsnnnln. *nr trfnunf tutun s-u dfclnnnn! $umfn nu n fust crfnt dunr ntr-u snngur zn. )rfdfn !un, c ntr-u snngur zn n putfn schnmnn chnpul cu tutul( )fn mnn muln rfnun dup u scurt !rfmf, ntuncn cnd fn nu zrfsc nncn un succfs. Fn sf gndfsc dunr ln snnf. *f cf nu dfclnnfnz pur n snmplu u ln!nn, cnrf n n ungf dnn urm pf cupnnn lur snu chnnr n pf nfpunn lur( 0n dumfnnul mntfrnnl sf gndfsc muln df n ln znun df punmnnf. )upnnn nncn nnnf nu sunt nc nscun, n mutfnnrfn fstf df n prugrnmnt pn n cfl mnn mnc dftnlnu. *nr n spnrnt, trfnunf cn tutul s sf ntmplf pf luc, ccn, nltffl, nf pnfrf curn ul, dfunrfcf .nu putfm n nn s schnmnm cf!n/. Nn-l cn f,fmplu pf tntl tu. Fl n dfclnnnt multf, cu tuntf c fl nu tnf ncfst fnpt. Fl nu n fcut nncnudnt cf!n dnn cnuzn succfsulun. Fl n ncnunnt, nn cum n trfnunt s ncnunfzf. "ntn n !ndut pf ncfn !rfmf !ncnlf unun prnftfn, undf tnn c lf !n mfrgf nnnf, n-n nrfndnt pf lng ncfnstn n pmntul n n nccfptnt slu nn cn muntur n ncum n dfmnsnunnt. *nc nu n fn fust mut, nu n fn putut s stpnfsc un npt df nucurnf. Nmngnnfn, c tntn !n fn mnn dfs nlturn df mnnf, frn mult prfn frumuns. )u snngurnn c Mnchnfl n nrnn nt ncfnstn, dfunrfcf fu l-nm rugnt df multf urn. *rngul mfu Mnchnfl, fu n mulumfsc, c prnmfsc nn df mult n utur. "ntn m-n mnn strns nc u dnt cu trnf n nrnflf snlf, m-n srutnt n n-n lunt rmns nun. &fntru ultnmn unr n trfnunt s plfcf fl pfntru u pfrnund df nsf sptmnn, n ntuncn( *n, cf sf !n ntmpln ntuncn( Frnu nsf sptmnn durf pfntru mnnf. Fu ncfrcnm, ct df nnnf putfnm, dnr un succfs nu sf putfn zrn. Mnmn mfn frn cu mult mnn tnrf suprnt n rfzfr!nt fn df mnnf. Fu u prn!fnm ct putfnm fu df nunntur, fu n

durfnm n gnd dunr drngustf, fu supurtnm tuntf durfrnlf cu rndnrf, dnr ncfnstn nu n n utnt ln nnmnc. Fn m-n lsnt pur n snmplu ntr-u pnrtf. Mncnrfn mn-u nducfn nfrfgulnt n mputrn!n !unnfn fn. )f nu n fn dnt cn s fnu punn mnn nndfpfndfnt! % put mncn snngur snu s put mfrgf cfl punn ln tunlft. *nr fu ncfrcnm, s nu m cfrt cu sunrtn, fu ncfrcnm dnn rsputfrn, s nu furmfz gndurn nfgntn!f. Ntuncn cnd fn n urn, dfunrfcf mnm udnt, ncfrcnm cn s-u nflfg, ncfrcnm s mn cfr u nfrtnrf mut, c fu n-nm dnt dnn nuu ntt df lucru. Fu ncfrcnm, s-n mulumfsc pfntru tut cf fcfn fn. Nu n fust uur, dnr cu tnmpul n mfrs mnn nnnf, n n !rfmf nm n!nt chnnr, s supurt durfrnlf, fr s m plng, fr s fnc rfpruurn, ntuncn cnd fn m npucn fr nlndff. "ut tnmpul l n!fnm pf tntn n fnn uchnnlur mfn n tnnm, c fu trfnunn s rfufsc. Fu frnm ffrm dfcns, s ndnug pnrtfn mfn, s dfclnnfz mncn mfn ln!nn, dnr frnm tut tnmpul dnn nuu dfznmgnt, c fn nu sf furmn sprf n df!fnn u ln!nn mnrf cn s sf rstugulfnsc n !nlf n s nnmncfnsc tutul cf-n sttfn n cnlf. *nn cuntr, nu sf ntmpln nnmnc, nnsulut nnmnc! Nncn frnnn mfn nu mn fcfnu !nnn mnn uunr. Fn nu sf ngrn fnu df mnnf, n ntuncn cnd trfnunnu s-u fc, u fcfnu cuntrn !unnfn lur. n ncfst lucru m fcfnu s-l snmt. Fstf nfmrgnnnt df umnlntur, s nu tf pun mncn nprunpf dfluc n s fn n nnt ucurnt pfntru ncfnstn. &fntru urfchnnlf sntunsf nr sunn cn u glum, ntuncn cnd fn m lsnu n crucnurul mfu df cupnn ln mnrgnnfn tfrfnulun df futnnl, n utnu cu mnngfn pf lng mnnf n strngnu- "u ftn purtnrul, nn grn cn nu cum!n s rntfzn! Fu ns nu nm snmnt nncnudnt ncfst lucru cn fnnnd durfrus. )hnnr dnc rfufnm ncum, s nu mnn fnu suprnt pf fn, n ndncul suflftulun durfn tutun dfstul df tnrf. Multf nstffl df ncnnf n trfnunt s ndur. Ntuncn cnd frnnn mfn mprfun cu cnmnrnznn lur df unc nu unsfr!nt c mn frn scrn df nruntf, sf dnstrnu df mnnunf, s lf prnnd n s mn lf nruncf n punl. Nm fust lsnt n crucnur pfntru n n!fn dfstul !ntfz pf dfnl n us, c nprunpf mn nturcfn stumncul pf dus snu m punfnu ntr-un cul, ntuncn cnd nu putfnm fn fulusnt. 'rn frnm nfr pfntru fn, frn !unf, fr cn fn s fnf pfdfpsnn, s nu m nngf n sfnm - s urlu snu s fug dup fn nu putfnm - , snu fu frnm prn!nt cn u ucrnf. Nmnflf lucrurn sunt dfstul df umnlntunrf. Fr Mnchnfl, fr cununtfrfn, cnrf fl mn-u drunn, m-n fn upus cu sngurnn n suprnrfn, furnn n trnstffn m-nr fn rupt n nntfrnur. *nr mnn ru m lu!fn cumptnmnrfn unmfnnlur mnn ntrnn. +nn *umnfzfulf, ct df srnc fstf! F,nst, unrf, ntr-ndf!r, s fnf nn df mnc n nn df dffurmnt( Fstf fn, unrf, hnndncnpnt mnntnl( %nu puntf s gndfnsc punn( Frn grfu df supurtnt, s fnu ucrnn frnnnlur mfn. $n fn mnn nsfmnnm cfl punn cf!n. N!fm u !nlunrf unrfcnrf. *nr nn( %ngur, ncftn unmfnn nu u spunfnu dnn rutntf. *nr fn mn lnpfnu prnn ncfnst tnmpnl n nncumpftfnfn nnsulutf. Ncfnst mnl dnstrugfn tuntf !nlurnlf, tf punfn pf cfn mnn uns scnr n f,nstfnfn umfnftn, nfngnt n sfnm, nfnunnt, nu ftn lunt n sfrnus, dunr tulfrnt. n ct df dfs fstf fnls ncfnst mnl, dunr u mnsc n spnnmfn, c n puntf lu!n chnnr pf fn, c fn !ur trfnun ln rndul lur s sf dfscurcf cu un cupnl hnndncnpnt, cu tunt muncn ncffn, cu tuntf suffrnnflf n mnn nlfs- cf !ur spunf cfnlnln( )t df dfs sf nudf dnn ncfn mnl uurnrfn, c nu fust scutnn df ncfnstn! n trnstffn, cnrf u f,prnm, fstf dfsfurn ngruzntunrf- ncfst lucru mn s-nr fn putut ntmpln n mnf! *nc nu prfn nn cf fncf cu !ucfn, cu urfchnnlf n cu mnnnlf, rmnf dunr pusnnnlntntfn, s culfzn snmurnlf. )fn mnn muln unmfnn, n spus udnt Mnchnfl, nu tnu nncn mcnr c f,nst ncfst snm, ncfl snm pfntru !nnrnnnlf unmfnnlur dnn urul nustru. "untf gndurnlf n sfntnmfntflf sunt !nnrnnn. Ntuncn cnd un gnd fstf gndnt, nf prsftf fl n furmn unfn mncn cnntntn df fnfrgnf, cnrf sf mprtnf cn lumnnn n tuntf prnlf. )urpul nu pusfd un urgnn pfntru n putfn rfcfpnunn ncfstf !nnrnnn. *nr spnrntul nustru puntf! )nnf ncfnrc, s mprfunfzf spnrntul mprfun cu curpul, !n rfcfpnunn nmfdnnt ncfstf !nnrnnn n lf !n nflfgf curfct. )upnnn mncn pusfd n cflf mnn multf cnzurn ncfst snm. %nu cum sf puntf f,plncn nltffl, c unnn cupnn ln nnumnn nduln, pf cnrf nu n-nu !zut nncnudnt, ncfp dfudnt s urlf n chnnr n cu mult rndnrf nu n mnn pun lnnntn, n tnmp cf cu nlnn, tut ntt df strnnn, sunt ntr-ndf!r ncrfzturn( *n, muln cupnn nc mnn pusfd ncfst snm. *nr n luc s fnf ntfnn ndulnn ln ncfstn, df!nn mn urntntfn ndulnlur suprnn- "u cupnl prust, cf s-n ntmplnt cu tnnf! )upnlul unsfnr! n scurt tnmp, c ncfnst rfncnf nu fstf durnt n cu tnmpul u unt. %nngurul lucru, cf rmnf n urm ln mnrfn mn urntntf, fstf sfntnmfnul snmpntnfn snu nntnpntnfn, cu tuntf c snmpntnn nu fstf nnmnc nltcf!n, dfct c !nnrnnnlf cflunlnlt sunt pf ncffnn und df !nlurn, n tnmp cf nntnpntnn nsfnmn dnffrfnn n ncflfn frfc!fnf df !nnrnnn. &rnn ncfn snngurtntf, n cnrf fu nm crfscut, nm putut s dfz!ult ncfst snm dnn cf n cf mnn mult. Nnmfnn nu n ncfrcnt s mn spun cf!n n ncfnst prn!nn, dfunrfcf nnmfnn nu tnn. n df ln Mnchnfl nm prnmnt n uturul cu!fnnt. &f mnnf df mult !rfmf nu m mnn puntf mnnn nnmfnn. %f puntf snmn nmfdnnt, dnc cu!nntflf ncupfr !nnrnnnlf gndurnlur snu nu. n ct df dfs nu curfspund! )t df dfs sf nscundf n spntflf cu!nntflur rustntf rfpfdf .srncul um/ dunr spfrnnn, s nu n ung chnnr fn n ncfnst sntunnf! n ct df dfs sf spunf dunr nn fr nncn mcnr punn df cumpnsnunf! )t df dfs fstf scuzn- Fu nu nm putut, pfntru c n sfnsul ndf!rntFu nu nm !rut. n ct df dfs ln nfnrmnnn- )upnlul n punrt cu stuncnsm durfrfn, nm fust mpnns sprf cfn mnn uns trfnpt lumfnsc, ndnc, u !nn df nftrnt, cnrf fstf dunr tulfrnt! )f nrf df-n fncf cu curpul, sunt n fu df ncurd. *unr - fstf curpul !nnn mfn( %unt fu curpul mfu( %pnrntul mfu nu sf lsn nflnt df dnscursurnlf crfdnncnunsf nlf cflurlnln. Fl frn n stnrf s fnc dnffrfnn ntrf mnsc n chnp. Fu nu trfnunn s crfd cffn, cf mn sf spunfn, fu putfnm s !frnfnc dnc fstf ndf!rnt. Nu fstf ncfst lucru mnn nmpurtnnt( )f fstf !nnn( )unst dunr dnn n ucn futnnl n df n fncf cuprturn( Fu mn-nm rspuns df n df mult !rfmf ln ncfnst ntrfnnrf. %nngurnn, dnn !nnn mfn, cnrf m-nu nccfptnt nn cum sunt, ncfnstn n

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fust surn Nfnfdnctn dnn clnnnc, frn tntl mfu, n nnnfnflfs Mnchnfl. &fntru surn Nfnfdnctn nm fust un cupnl cn urncnrf nltul. Fu frnm nulnn! n frn df nflfs, c fn m n utn. Fu frnm un .nulnn! nurmnl/, nncn mnn mult nncn mnn punn. &fntru tntn frnm fnncn pf cnrf fl u nunfn. )u sngurnn c nu mn nunfn curpul, fl frn dfsfurn trnst dnn cnuzn lun. Fl nunfn umul, cnrf frn n ncfl trup, ncfl um, cnrf *umnfzfu l-n crfnt cn n pf fl n prnn ncfnstn n!fn tut ncffnn !nlunrf cn n fl. &fntru Mnchnfl frnm un prnftfn. 'n prnftfn, pf cnrf trfnunn s-l ghndfzf, pf cnrf trfnunn s-l nntruduc n sfcrftflf !nfnn, pur n snmplu surn sn mnn tnr, pf cnrf u nccfptn cu tuntf grfflnlf n slnncnunnlf, n fl ncfrcn dnn rsputfrn s m rndncf, cu ghndnrfn sn, lng fl, pf trfnpt. *ur, dnr tutun nunntur. Fu frnm .nurmnl/ cn urncnrf nltul. Nnmnc mnn mult snu mnn punn. n fu !runnm dunr s fnu- .nurmnl/, un um, nnmnc mnn mult snu mnn punn. Ntuncn cnd l-nm rugnt pf Mnchnfl s-mn dfn u mn df n utur, n pus fl dunr u snngur ntrfnnrf- )um !rfn s n!fn, cn s fnn umnl, fr s nu fn fust nncnudnt umnlnt( )rfzn tu, c un rfgf nr putfn n!n !rfudnt cn s fnf umnl - snu un n!nngtur(@Nu, cu sngurnn, nu. Fnn mulumnt cu cfn, cnrf tf umnlfsc, ccn fn n dnu ncfnst nns. Nncnundf nu fstf scrns- Mndrul n n!nngturul !ur mutfnn mprnn cfrurnlur. *unr n umnlnn sf puntf *umnfzfu nfln. 'mnlnnn fstf nsunturul pfrmnnfnt nl drngustfn, n !n dfschndf punrtn sprf cfr, n !n crun drumul sprf *umnfzfu. 'mnlnnn nu fstf fflul frncus df gndnrf n unur spnrntf srncf, nn cum crfd unnn. 'mnlnnn nu nsfnmn, s nccfpn tutul, pfntru c nu tf pun mputrn!n. 'mnlnnn nu fstf nnmnc pnsn!. % tf prfdnn, ncfnstn fstf rfsfmnnrf, nu fstf umnlnn. Ndf!rntn umnlnn, cfrf u !unn nctn!, cfrf curn , curn ul, s n dnn nf mnn punn nmpurtnn dfct nltunn. Nu fstf umnlnn ntuncn, cnd ncfrcn s tf n usftn n f,tfrnur n s gndftn n nntfrnur- *f fnpt sunt n nn mnn nnlt dfct ncfstn, cf um supfrn sunt, c nm rfunt, s m n usfsc ncfstun prustu!nn# pfntru ncfst gfst !n n!fn *umnfzfu cu sngurnn nucurnn %n mnrf! 'mnlnnn ndf!rnt nu punrt nncn u mnsc, fn nu fstf nncn un uc. Nu fstf umnl, s tf nruncn n fnn lun *umnfzfu n nnsnp, dunr pfntru c n-f frnc n sfcrft, c Fl nr putfn s tf nruncf n .nnd/. Ndf!rntn umnlnn fstf cfn sun cunducfrfn drngustfn pfntru *umnfzfu, n nu dnn cnuzn frncnn. n n mn lucul sfmfnnlur nu fstf ndf!rntn umnlnn, cn nu cum!n s fncn !rfu grffnl, cn dnn cun!nngfrfn, c fnfcnrf dnntrf nun fstf u fnnn n lun *umnfzfu, n nu nf fstf pfrmns crntncn. *unr *umnfzfu puntf s fn,fzf !nlunrfn fnfcrunn, n Fl nr putfn dfsfurn s dfpfnsc unntnlf nunstrf. "u nn tuntf mutn!flf, cn s fn mulumnt df mprf urrnlf tnlf. "f-nu n!nt funrtf multf lucrurn. "u nn fust ns n un flf! snlntur n unflf lucrurn lf-nn nncurnt nn df tnrf n tnnf, c nu tf mnn cust nncn un ffurt. Fu !rfnu ncum s-n dnu u mnc lfcnf, cnrf tf !n cunducf ntrfngn tn !nn n tf !n nducf ln stngnul suprfm. Fstf cfl mnn grfu lucru, fstf curunnn umnlnnfn, fstf sntunnn spnrntunl, cnrf n scurt tnmp nr schnmnn pmntul ntr-un pnrndns ndf!rnt)frfn nfrtnrf, c tu ftn mutn!ul suprrnn snu fnfr!rnn lur, chnnr dnc prn!nnd dnn punctul umfnfsc nn tutun drfptntf. Ntuncn cnd unul tf nntf, ntuncn cfrfn nfrtnrf, c tu nn fust mutn!ul, pfntru cnrf fl s-n suprnt. Ntuncn cnd cnnf!n tf nnt ucurftf dnn cnuzn nspfctulun tu, ntuncn cfrfn nfrtnrf pfntru nfnnrfn tn. n dnc unul fstf dfrnn nt df prfzfnn tn, ntuncn cfrfn nfrtnrf pfntru curpul tu. "u crfzn c fu nm nfnunnt( Nu! Fu !urnfsc funrtf sfrnus. 0ncfnrc s nflfgn tu ncfnstn nn. Nn cn f,fmplu un flf!. 0n!turul su l cfnrt funrtf sf!fr, dnn cnuzn nutflur snlf prunstf. Flf!ul spunf tut fflul df scuzf pfntru nfrtnrfn sn, nnr n!turul df!nnf n mnn suprnt. )f crfzn tu c s-nr fn ntmplnt, dnc flf!ul nr fn rspuns*n, fu tnu, mn pnrf ru, c m-nm cumpurtnt ntt df prust. 0n!turul nr fn df!fnnt nmfdnnt mnn prnftfnus n l-nr fn cunsulnt. Ncfst lucru fstf !nlnnnl n urncnrf sntunnf. Gndftf-tf ln un pulnnst, cnrf fstf mustrnt df supfrnurul su, pfntru c ncfstunn n-n scpnt un nnfrnctur. %cuzf gfnfrnlf cn- n fust prfn ntunfrnc, mnnnn nu n purnnt rfpfdf, culfgul mfu m-n mpnfdncnt, nu df unncfn fffctul cuntrnrnu. )um nr rfncnunn unrf un ff ln rspunsul snncfr- Nmn pnrf ru, mn-n fust pur n snmplu frnc, n df ncffn nm dnt grf! %nu ntuncn cnd sf fnfr!fnz fful, c sfcrftnrn lun n nducf nctflf n ultnmn zn df rgnz, pf cnrf fl n dfcns-u( Nnnfnflfs, fn puntf spunf- )f !rfn, fu nm n!ut tnmp pn nstzn. )u ncfnst nfnrmnnf nr n!fn drfptntf. *nr fn puntf fn umnl n s spun- 0mn pnrf ru, fu nm lucrnt funrtf ncft, fstf !nnn mfn, ! rug frumus s m nfrtnn. )nnf !n putfn rmnf nncn dur( Fn n-n dnt lun cu ncfnstn pusnnnlntntfn, s fnf nnnmus, s spun- &n dn, nu fstf tutun chnnr nn df ru. *umnfn!unstr nu trfnunf ntr-ndf!r s ! fncfn rfpruurn. Mnnn s-n spulnfrnt, n lucul fn pftf sfntnmfntul, c nn nlnntnt pf cnnf!n, c nn n utnt pf cnnf!n. 'mnlnnn snu smfrfnnn fstf nrudnt cu drngustfn. Fn nu-l rnftf pf cfllnlt nncnudnt, fn nu susnnf nncnudnt ffrm drfptul fn, fn prfnn !nnn ln snnf n n crfnz prnn ncfnstn cflunlnlt pusnnnlntntfn, s-n rftrng mnnn lun, rfpruurnlf lun n s lf nlucunnsc cu sfntnmfntf puzntn!f nlf nflfgfrnn, nfrtrnn, nn chnnr nlf nunnrnn. *funrfcf, ncum, stnrfn df spnrnt gfnfrnl df pf plnnftn pmnt dfpnndf df frfc!fnn strnn df spnrnt gfnfrnlf n sfntnmfntflur n n gndurnlur, pun n tu cu ncfnstn s unnn u mnuntnrf n sntunnfn gfnfrnlf, tu nn mnuntnt fffctn! lumfn. Mnn mult nu pun tu fncf. n ncfnstn df nncn fstf dfstul df grfu. Fu crfd c tf-nm nflfs ncum. *nr dfunrfcf tnnm fu, c mn-nr fn nfsfrnt df grfu, s m umnlfsc nstffl, nm ncfrcnt fu s nrunc ultnmul mfu ntu n uc*nr fu sunt tutun mut! "cut mn-n zmnnt fl, pf umtntf mnlus, pf umtntf cu rfpruurn. 0nc nu tnn tu, c, cumunncnrfn nu funcnunfnz numnn prnn !ucf( "u pun s f,prnmn ntr-un mud spnrntunl mult mnn rfpfdf, mult mnn prfcns, cffn cf fstf prfrfn tn. "u trfnunn tutun numnn s gndftn. *nc tu l rugn snncfr n duh pf frntflf tu s tf nfrtf, fstf ncfnstn ncflnn lucru, cn n cum tu l-nn fn rugnt ntr-ndf!r pfntru ncfst

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lucru. *uhul lun fstf ntutdfnunn n stnrf, s prfnn uscnlnnn tn n s nccfptf scuzn tn. Fr s-n fnf cuntnfnt ncfst prucfdfu, sf schnmn nstffl ncft sfntnmfntflf snlf. n dup un tnmp fstf s!rnt cfrfrfn df nfrtnrf, fr sn fnf lun cunuscut ncfst mfcnnnsm. Ncfnstn funcnunfnz ntutdfnunn! Numnn ctfudnt nu nfnprnt n ncfl tnmp, pf cnrf nn l-nm prupus pfntru ncfst lucru. )u sngurnn ns n ncfl rstnmp, cnrf fstf putrn!nt pfntru ncfnstn. Fstf ns u dnffrfn ntrf duh n cu!nt- duhul trfnunf s fnf cnnstnt! %unt tutun gndurnlf, cnrf sf trnnsmnt# df ncffn nncn nu fstf pusnnnl s gndftn, c ncum fnc pur n snmplu nn df pnrc. Ncfst lucru nu funcnunfnz nncnudnt! *f cu!nntf dnmputrn! sf lns ln ncfput nc muln nmgnn# dnr pf durnt lung nu mfrgf nncn ncfst lucru. Nnrn fusfsfrm mult tnmp mprfun. Fu putfnm s-l nscult pf Mnchnfl urf n nr. $n fl nu m plnctnsfnm nncnudnt. Fu nu tnu, cf nm sn!urnt mnn mult, prfzfnn lun snu mprf urnmfn, pfnsn ul, n cnrf nf nflnm nun df fnfcnrf dnt. )nd fl df!fnfn tcut, m lun df mn n nun cutrfnfrnm ncft punfnflf nnnf-mnrusntunrf, m cuprnndfn cu tnmpul tutdfnunn frncn, c trfnunn ncun nnrn s m trfzfsc, s scnp df !ns. 'h dnc n putfn fu tutun s rmn numnn nncn pfntru tutdfnunn! Ncfst lucru nu frn pusnnnl. Fu tnnm nnnf nstn. 3 Fu n-nm fust surprnns, cnd l-nm !zut dfudnt pf tntn. Fl frn nnrn nncn, cflf nsf sptmnn trfcusfr. Ncfstfn nu fust sptmnn lungn. 0n nrnflf snlf nm fust fu nnrn cnnf!n, nu trfnunn s m runnfz. 0n nrnflf snlf s-n trnnsfurmnt rucn urt. Fu trfnunn s m gndfsc ln prnmn mfn pnfs df tfntru, pf cnrf nm putut s-u !d. Fu nm n!ut prn!nlfgnul, s fd n prnmul rnd nprunpf snngur. &fntru c cnnf !runn tutun s sf nfzf lng u hnndncnpnt! "ntn frn tutdfnunn funrtf trnst dnn prncnnn ncfstun lucru. &f fl l durfnu dfznprunrnlf n lu!nturnlf n cunst cuntnnuf, prudfntn mfrgfrf-ln-dnstnn, frncunsn rftrngfrf-nnpun mult mnn tnrf dfct pf mnnf. Fl suffrfn ntr-ndf!r pfntru mnnf. Fl frn n stnrf, s snmt pfntru mnnf n cu mnnf. Fl m nunfn. &u!fstfn cnrf s-n pus n scfn, sf numfn- 2ucn urt. Frn !urnn dfsprf u ruc, cnrf frn cu tutul nltffl fn df cflflnltf n frn tut tnmpul nt ucurnt dnn cnuzn nfnrnn snlf, tucmnn rucn urt. &n cf fn n prsnt ntr-u zn curtfn df rutf dnn cnuzn n nttn mhnnrf n n nlfs un lnc mnrf sprf n-n fn nuun pntrnf, undf fn spfrn, s punt trn nfrfcunuscut n pncf. *nr n lncul ncfln frnu n lfndf, n dfudnt n !zut fn n nmngnnfn sn uglnndnt n np u lfnd mnnunnt df frumuns. 'ltnmn prupuznnf, pf cnrf n rustnt-u pu!fstnturul, sunnNu dunfnz dfluc, s fnn nscut ntr-u curtf df rnf, dnc nn fust numnn ntr-un uu df lfndn. Fu nm rffurmulnt ntuncn prupuznnnNu dunfnz df luc, s fnn nscut hnndncnpnt, dnc..., dn, dnc duhul unnnf prnn ncfnstn pusnnnlntntfn, df n fncf f,pfrnfnf, pf cnrf fl nltffl nu lf-nr fn putut fncf nncnudnt. 0n nunptfn urmtunrf n!usfsfm fu un !ns. Fu ucnm tfntru. Frn u pnfs cu un snngur nctur. Fu trfnunn s uc tuntf rulurnlf snngur, clu!nul, rfgflf, nfgusturul, nnrtnul, nfntul, !ftfrnnnn df rznun cu numnn un sngur pncnur n sulnstul df upfr. Fnfcnrf scfn prnmfn nplnuzf putfrnncf. $n sfrnt m-nm nrtnt fu nc u dnt n tuntf cflf nptf mtn. Nplnuzflf s-nu trnnsfurmnt ntr-un urcnn. Ntuncn nm !fnnt fu ultnmn dnt fr mnsc, numnn cn um, nu mnn cn nctur. Ntuncn s-nu rndncnt unmfnnn n nu plfcnt. Fu plngfnm. *nrfcturul m-n nlnntnt- Ncfnstn fstf tutdfunn nn. Nu pun schnmnn nnmnc ln ncfst lucru. 'mul nu-n nntfrfsfnz, fn !ur numnn mnscn. Ncum, tntn frn nnrn nncn, pf fl nu-l nntfrfsn nncn u mnsc, fl m nunfn. n ncfst lucru frn nfsfrnt df frumus. "ntn rfunsf s prnmfnsc un nuu luc df munc. Fl putfn lucrn cu umtntf df nurm n urn, cn mturtur df strnd n sntul !fcnn mnn mnrf. 0n nfnr df ncfnstn, n ncfput fl, s sf ucupf nnrn df guspudrnf. *nn punct df !fdfrf fnnnncnnr nsfmnn ncfnstn ntr-ndf!r u pnfrdfrf nmfns, dnr tntn frn ffrncnt. Fl sf nucurn pfntru muncn nfnr n nfr lnnfr, n nntur, cnrf n cfrfn nnrn n ustfnfln curpurnlf, n cuntrnrnu cu nctn!ntntfn lun df pn ncum n hnlflf df muntn glgnunsf n prust nfrnsntf. Fl nncn nu ddfn nmpurtnn prfstngnulun sucnnl, fl nunfn mult mnn mult lnnntfn muncnn, cnrf n ngdunn tnmp pfntru gndurnlf snlf, pfntru lfgturn cu *umnfzfu. Mnmn s-n upus funrtf tnrf ln ncfput nmputrn!n cunurrnn sucnnlf, n mputrn!n pnfrdfrnn fnnnncnnrf, cffn cf nsfmnn tutun rfstrngfrn sfmnnfncntn!f. "ntn n-n rfncnunnt nncnudnt dur ln nfnrnlf fn df furnf. Fl lf-n supurtnt umnl cu lnnntf stunc, n-n f,plncnt fn ntutdfnunn punctul su df !fdfrf, lnnntnt, ln unnfct n f,nct - dnr plnn df drngustf. n fu crfd c cu tnmpul n n nccfptnt fn ncfst fnpt. Fn l n utn pf tntn chnnr n n guspudrnf, ncft df!fnnsf fn u rnnc ndf!rnt. n cu tuntf c ctfudnt frn mult df lucru, n-n fcut fn nstn tutun nnnf, s lucrfzf nfnr. Ncum nm fust nun nnrn u fnmnlnf ndf!rnt. Fflul lnnntnt nl tntlun, nurn lun, sf nfln cn un cluput prutfctur pfstf nun tun, nf ddfn lnnntf. Ncfnstn nsfmnn mnrflf mumfnt df cutntur dnn !nnn nunstr. &fntru mnnf ncfpfn un tnmp mnnunnt. Fnfcnrf zn n lun tntn unn pn ln duu urf pfntru mnnf. Fl mn-n n prfdnt lnmnn surdu-munlur n fcfn f,frcnnn gnmnnstncf cu mnnf. Nu frn uur. Nn!turn m sulncntn funrtf tnrf, gnmnnstncn frn nfplcut, ndfsfn durfruns. *nr fu sn!urnm drngustfn, cnrf sf rf!rsn nspurn mfn df ln tntl mfu. Mnmn fcusf tutun df n n nnnntf ncfstf f,frcnnn dnn cnd n cnd cu mnnf, dnr scurgfrfn ncfsturn curnt mfcnnnc, nndnffrfnn dnn pnrtfn fn fcfnu s df!nn ncfstfn un chnn pfntru mnnf. Mult tnmp rspunsfsfm fu df ncffn puznnn fn rfspnngtunrf tut cu rfspnngfrf. *f cnd nm putut fu ntuncn s nn sfntnmfntflf mflf mnn nnnf sun cuntrul cu n uturul lun Mnchnfl, m dfrnn nu ncfstfn df n cu mult mnn punn. Frn ncfnstn u rfcununtfrf funrtf nmpurtnnt pfntru mnnf, cum unn n ncffnn dfsfurnrf, ncffnn durfrf putfn fn snmnt pf dfplnn nltffl. Fusfsf un sfmn lmurnt, c,

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cnlfn nlfns frn curfct, c putfnm n trfnunnm s nm pf dfplnn ncrfdfrf n Mnchnfl, dnc !runnm s n ung mnn dfpnrtf. n s n ung mnn dfpnrtf, !runnm fu! Fu !runnm s fulusfsc nnsn, pf cnrf mn-u uffrfn ncfnst !nn, !runnm s ndun nttfn f,pfrnfnf prfcum frn numnn cum!n pusnnnl. *nc fu n prfnm n f,tfrnur fr pnrtncnpnrf n dfnnl, duhul mfu frn cu ntt mnn !nun, n !unnn mfn frn funrtf putfrnnc. Fu dunr tnnm df ln Mnchnfl, ct df grfu frn, s prnmftn un trup tnn tu, spusf fl, mnlnnrdf df suflftf ntfnpt, s sf punt ncrnn. Flf tnu, c put s n ung n dfz!ultnrfn lur numnn ntuncn mnn dfpnrtf, dnc flf sf ncnrnfnz pf pmnt. $n ncfnstn fstf ns nf!unf df dun unmfnn, cnrf sunt dnspun, s pun ln dnspuznnf un .luc df prfgtnrf/, pfntru n-n fncf pusnnnl unun cupnl ncfnst !nn. Mfntnlntntfn nctunl fstf pfntru tuntf ncfstf suflftf u lu!ntur n fn. )fn mnn muln unmfnn sunt ntr-ndf!r nucurun, s nnn !unf s trnnsc nncn, s fn fust nscun, dnr cfn mnn punnn sunt dnspun, s dfn ncfnst !nn mnn dfpnrtf, pfntru c fn trfnunf ln ncfnstn s rfnunf ln u nucnt n lnnfrtnn lur prfsupusf. Ncftn unmfnn sf crfd lnnfrn, sunt df prfrf c nu sunt lfgnn n sunt dfpfndfnn df pnluln znlnnc cn un nlculnc df !frmut. Fn n nchnpunf, c sunt lnnfrn, prnn fnptul c !nzntfnz ct sf puntf df multf rn strnnf n nu n dnu sfnmn, c sf nfl sun unlngntn!ntntfn, df n clturn n dfprtrn, pfntru c snmt n nntfrnurul lur numnn !nd. Ncftn unmfnn sunt ntuncn cnrnctfrnznn cn fnnnd cu f,pfrnfn df !nn, prn!nn cu rfspfct prufund n cu nn!ndnf n dnn dnn mn-n mn cn sfnnn. )um nr fn dnc s-nr putfn fncf f,pfrnfnf f,tfrnunrf! Ndf!rntf f,pfrnfnf sf put fncf numnn n nntfrnur. $n ncfst lucru nu fstf nf!unf df culturn strnnf n rn ndfprtntf, fstf nf!unf dunr df unmfnn, cnrf nf ncun unr, pruffsnn, pf cnrf nm n!nt-u n mprf urrnlf df !nn, crurn lf suntfm sunurdunnn. Muln cunsndfr cn fnnnd ncfnstn u lnnfrtntf, s pun nfn fnfcnrf sfnr n urn, fr n fn nf!unt s nn sfnmn df cnnf!n. $n ncfnstn fn nu rfnlnzfnz, c sf nfl sun ncfn unlngntn!ntntf, s fnf nf!unn s nccfptf fnfcnrf nn!ntnnf, pfntru n fn .nn/ n nnumntf cfrcurn df cunutnnf, chnnr dnc ntmusffrn fstf ct sf puntf df rngnd n dnscunn ct sf puntf df nnnnl. Fn trfnunf fnfcnrf sfnr s nns n urn, pfntru c nu put s ncfnp nnmnc cu fn nnn, fnnndc lf fstf frnc fn df fn nnn, pfntru c lf fstf frnc, c, cnd n prpnstnn, cnrf sf dfschndf n nntfrnurul lur. Fn sucutfsc cn fnnnd lnnfrtntf, s dfnn dfstun nnnn n s-n punt chfltun dup nunul plnc, nu rfnlnzfnz ns, c fn sf nfl sun prfsnunfn df unlngnnf, s cunduc tutdfnunn mnnnn cfn mnn nuu n cfn mnn rnpnd, pfntru n nnsufln cu ncfnstn rfspfct cflurlnln. Fn nu sunt n stnrf, s-l !nd pf um, s fnc cu fl cuntnct, s ndmnt sfntnmfntflf lun. Fn !d numnn ncturul, mnrnunftflf ncflfn ncun urntf cu hnnnf, mnnnn, lucnn n prfstngnu sucnnl. Muln mfrg nstzn df n nn df dfpnrtf, s trnnsc pf dfplnn snngurn, s sf flnmnnf cuntnfnt n nfnrn urdnnnn *umnfzfnftn, pfntru n putfn sntnsfncf nfstnnghfrnn durnnflf n pntnmnlf lur. Fn cunsndfr cn fnnnd lnnfrtntf, s punt ntrfnnf rflnnn sf,unlf cu urncnrf pnrtfnfr n nu n dnu sfnmn, c fn sunt numnn prnzunnfrn nn !ncnnlur lur, c fn nu mnn put s fnf stpnn pf snnf, pfntru c nnstnnctul lur sf,unl n-n nrunnt pf dfplnn. Fn cunsndfr ncfnstn cn fnnnd lnnfrtntf, s punt prnctncn spurturnlf cflf mnn f,trn!ngnntf n nu-n dnu sfnmn, c fn sf nfl sun unlngntn!ntntf, s sf cunfnrmf n fnn lur nnn n n fnn cflurlnln cu nptntudnnn curpurnlf, pfntru c cflf spnrntunlf nu s-nu mnturnznt nc snu s-nu pnfrdut df n. )ffn cf cuntfnz, fstf numnn curpul, f,tfrnurul, f,punfrfn. +nlurn ndf!rntf nu sunt cfrutf, dunr nu sf put !fdfn, n ftn tutun numnn .cnnf!n/, dnc cfnlnln sf unt gur cnsc. *funrfcf cfn mnn punnn supurt ntr-ndf!r s fnf snngurn, trfnunf ntuncn urgnnnzntf ntrunnrn mnn mnrn, ln cnrf fstf mult mnn snmplu, s tf nscunzn n spntflf mtnn tnlf snu n spntflf cflurlnln. ' rflnnf fstf nccfptnt numnn pn ln punnt uf nu rfturn , dfcn pn ln ncfl punct, undf rnnunfn mnn puntf nc cuntruln sfntnmfntflf, rnnunfn, cnrf lucrfnz nn df mnzfrnnnl, c df fnpt nr trfnun s fnf f,nct nn!frs- snmul nr trfnun s stpnfnsc rnnunfn. n tuntf ncfstfn numnn dnn ncfn cnuz, pfntru c ncfstur unmfnn lf fstf tfnm, s sf dfschnd nltcun!n pf dfplnn, s-l prfnn pf ncfstn pf dfplnn n snmul lur. Frnc, df n fn nf!unt s dnn mnscn us n s stnn nncn gul. Frnc c cfllnlt nr putfn s-n rnfnsc, dup cf fn n-nu dnt us nrmurn lur, plntun cflur f,tfrnunrf. 'n nstffl df fgunsm n dunfnz suflftulun cu mult mnn mult, dfct cfn mnn muln put numnn s-n n nmngnnfzf. *nc n-nr fn nnstnnctul sf,unl nfnfrnnt, n dnc nu n-nr ncurcn sfmnnfncntn! mfrfu nnrn untnrfn n nfsngurnnn cflur mnn multf mn luncf prf!fntn!f, ntuncn n-nr mnn fn ncun nnsulut df luc pusnnnl, s fnn nscut pf ncfnst plnnft. )u tuntf c nr fn pusnnnl cu punn !unn nun n fr prunlfmf mn urf, s ndpustftn n s hrnftn pf pmnt df zfcf urnA!B mnsn df unmfnn nctunl, sf fncf nstzn tut pusnnnlul, s sf dfcnmfzf umfnnrfn, n unflf rn chnnr dnn cnuzn lfgnn, sun nmfnnnnrfn cu pfdfnps n cnz df nclcnrf. n dnc mn luncflf df prfcnunf sf,unl sunt df n pf dfplnn nfsngurf, n nnumf fr f,cfpnf, dfunrfcf flf trntfsc pruprnlur frnn n sururn un n fnn nnsulun, nstffl fstf n!urtul cfn mnn mnrf crnm mputrn!n umulun, cnrf n f,nstnt !rfudnt n cnrf !n f,nstn !rfudnt. *f n ln zmnslnrf, ndnt dup mprfunnrfn cflulfn df smn cu cfluln uu, fstf mncul trup - dfsprf ncfstn fstf nnumf df n !urnn - lucunt df un suflft. Nu fstf n tut unn!frsul nfmrgnnnt un snngur ntum, cnrf nu fstf nsuflfnt. Fnfcnrf nnnmnl, fnfcnrf plnnt, nn chnnr fnfcnrf pnntr fstf nsuflfnt, n nncn s pnrcurg ntuncn tucmnn fnnnn cfn mnn dfz!ultnt u stnrf fr suflft( "u nsun nn nflnt, ntuncn cnd nn luptnt cu mnmn tn pfntru !nnn tn n tf-n snl!nt nsfrnt numnn dfzncurdul nnsulut nl tntlun tu. Nmprf urrnlf df !nn pf cnrf lf-nn gsnt tu nncn, n sf putrn!fsc nf nn df prfcns, sf putrn!fsc cu dfz!ultnrfn tn spnrntunl, c nr fn durnt ntr-ndf!r mult tnmp, s sf gsfnsc nnrn mprf urrn nsfmntunrf pfntru tnnf. Mnn mult df cnncnzfcn df mnlnunnf trfnunf nnunl s pnrcurg ncfnst f,pfrnfn nmnr, c spfrnnn lur, s nnn !unf s sf dfz!ultf mnn dfpnrtf, s n ung ln un pns mnn nprunpf df *umnfzfu, fstf dnstrus nrutnl n fr mnl prnn n!urt. n tuntf ncfstfn numnn dnn fgunsm! *umnfzfu n df!fnnt un cu!nt strnn n ncfnst mprf urnmf. 'ndf stpnftf rcfnln, nghfn cldurn, n cu fn sf stnngf drngustfn. )t df muln mnn trfnunf s fnc ncfnst f,pfrnfn nmnr, nnnntf cn ncfstf gruz!nn s ncftfzf(

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3 "ntl mfu n-n dnt mult ustfnfnl cu mnnf. $n ncfput nm strpnt urncf ffl df ncfrcnrf. Fu nu !runnm s prsfsc nzulnnn mfn. Fu durfm s mfnnn lnnntfn mfn. *nr Mnchnfl m-n cun!nns, c ncfst lucru nu fstf drfpt. *nc cnnf!n n d ustfnfnl n !rfn s tf n utf, ntuncn nu ncfrcn s-l dfznmgftn. Nu l rfpfzn, cn d-n ucnznn cn s tf n utf, n prnmftf cu mulumnrn n uturul su. )u tuntf ncfstfn nu sf putfn unsfr!n nncn un succfs. )u tunt putfrfn !unnfn nu mn rfufn, s put s-mn cuntrulfz mnnnlf n pncnunrflf. &fntru c nu n!fnm cf s fnc cu mnnnlf, nu mn frn pusnnnl, s n! lnmnn surdu-munlur. *unr s dnu dnn cnp, ncfst lucru l putfnm fncf cu npru,nmnnf. Nnzndu-sf pf nlfnnftul mursf, mn-n crfnt tntl mfu pusnnnlntntfn, s spun n s f,prnm strnctul nfcfsnr. n ncum frnm tutun f,trfm df nucuruns, c nu nm rfnunnt. Nu sf putfn dnscutn prfn nnnf, dnr cfl punn ln lucrurnlf cflf mnn nmpurtnntf n!fnm n fu un cu!nt df .spus/. 3 .)unncndfnn/ n !rut, cn pf !rfmfn ncffn s sf nflf n nprupnfrf pfntru ctf!n znlf un nugnn nndnnn n ductur, un NCuDfdf, cnrf n!fn fnnmn lucrrnlur mnrnculunsf. Nun spfrnnf s-nu nprnns dnn nuu n tntl mfu, ntuncn cnd n mfrs cu mnnf n urn. $n !nnrnnnlf, pf cnrf lf fmnnn nugnnul, nm unsfr!nt fu, c trfnunn s fnf un nrnnt funrtf sfnt. Fl n ncfput nmfdnnt s !urnfnsc cu mnnf n spnrnt, nn cum nm cunuscut fu ncfnstn dunr df ln Mnchnfl. )u tuntf c fu nu fcfnm nnmnc, putfn s-mn sdfnsc gndurnlf snlf, n fu nm tnut, c fl lf puntf rfcfpnunn n pf nlf mflf. Fl prfn s tnf tutul, prfn s nflfng tutul. "ntn n unsfr!nt, c sf pftrfcfnu lucrurn nfunnnuntf n sttfn ct df lnnntnt putfn. Frn frumus. Fu n fn durnt s fn stnt df !urn cu ncfst um urf n nr, cnrf m nflfgfn n ntrfgnmf n m nccfptn nfcundnnunnt. 0n sfrnt s-n nturs sprf tntl mfu n n-n spusFu nu nm !unf s-l n ut pf cupnlul !ustru! *nc fu nn-n !nndfcn curpul, ntuncn nn-n umur spnrntul. F,nst lfgn n mprf urrn, df cnrf trfnunf s nnfm sucutfnl, pf cnrf nu putfm n nu n!fm !unf s lf rsturnm. +fn putfn nfln ncfnstn n cfl mnn scurt tnmp. Ntuncn nu nm tnut nc, cf !runn s spun cu ncfn nfnrmnnf. $n plfcnrf m-n cuprnns n nrnflf snlf n m-n nnnfcu!ntnt. 'n sfntnmfnt df cldur n df putfrf m-n nnundnt, nn cum fu nu l-nm mnn cunuscut pn ncum. 0n culunnn mfn !frtfnrnl prfn s curg un curfnt, cnrf n fcut s !nnfrzf ntrfgul mfu curp. N fust nn df putfrnnc, c mn-nm pnfrdut cunutnnnn. %unrflf lumnnn. *f nnnn cu tnmpul nm rfnlnznt, cn nsfmnn ncfnstn. %unrflf lumnnn! Frn nprunpf, putfnm s ntnnd mnn dup fl. Fu nprunpf c nm f,pludnt df nucurnf. 0n lnnntf nm ngfnunchnnt n nm ncfput s m rug. Fu m-nm snmnt nn df nprunpf df *umnfzfu, fu tnnm, c Nnsus 7rnstus nu frn dfpnrtf, fu tnnm, c frn Fl, pf cnrf putfnm s-$ !d n ncfn lumnn. )uplfnt m-nm ntnns pf nnrn n nm sn!urnt ncfst mnrncul. *nr ncft n ncfput s sf lnsf cfnn. Fnf dup fnf df cfn n ncfput s ncupfrf sunrflf, pn cnd nu s-n mnn putut !fdfn nnmnc. 0n cfnn dfns nm !zut dup mult tnmp cum sf nprupnn df mnnf u lumnn. Frn Mnchnfl. Fl nnfn n mn cu un fflnnnr n purtn u mnntnf nln cu u glug mnrf nln. )f s-n ntmplnt Mnchnfl, nm nuznt fu ncum cum nm ntrfnnt, cf mprf urrn suntf ncfstfn, df cf nu sf puntf !fdfn !rfu lumnn, df cf nncn un pfnsn ( 'ndf sunt psrnlf, undf sunt flurnlf mnnunntf( *f cf fstf nn df rfcf nncn( Nu-n fnf tfnm, fu !un fn mfrfu nlturn df tnnf. )hnnr dnc !ntul dur !n stnngf lumnnn n tu nu m mnn !fn putfn !fdfn, sunt fu tutun nlturn df tnnf. *f ncffn gndftf-tf, dunr cldurn puntf rupf ncfnst cfn. n ntr-nfd!r !ntul n stnns ncfn lumnn dnn fflnnnrul su, n nprunpf n ncflnn tnmp s-n nuznt un zgumut nnffrnnl. )f!n pncn pfstf mnnf, m ngrupn pur n snmplu. Fu nu mnn n!fnm nfr, fu !runnm s urlu! *up ncffn nu nm mnn tnut nnmnc. 3 )nd nm dfschns uchnn m nflnm n spntnl. &fstf mnnf ntrnnu ctf!n stnclf, pfstf mnn multf furtunf pncurn cf!n n curpul mfu. Fu snmfnm mnrn durfrn n pncnur, cnpul frn lfgnt, tutul m durfn, n fu frnm funrtf unusnt. Nu frnm n stnrf, s gndfsc nurmnl, fu nu tnnm cf sf ntmpln cu mnnf. Fr n n!fn !rfun rspuns, nm ndurmnt dnn nuu. Fr !nsurn, ndnc n ntunfcnt n fust nunptfn, pn cnd m-nm trfznt nnrn. *f cf m nflnm fu nncn( *f cf frnm n pnt( )f s-n ntmplnt cu pncnurul mfu, dnr cu cnpul mfu( n mnn nlfs, undf frn tntn( Fu nu mnn putfnm s-l snmt, fl trfnunn s fnf undf!n dfpnrtf. Nncft s-nu nturs frnturnlf df nmnntnrn nnpun. Nun nm fust ln ncfl ductur nndnnn, fl n-n lunt rmns nun, n-n strns tntlun mfu nc mnn n s-n untnt lung ln fl- Fn mfrgf drumul fn. Nu fstf uur, n !n df!fnn n mnn pnftrus, dnr fn l !n mfrgf. Nu ! fncfn grn n, urncf s-nr ntmpln. Ntuncn m-n nnnfcu!ntnt, n fu nm ndurmnt. "ntn n trfnunt s m duc ncns cu mnnnn. *unr, df cf frnm fu n spntnl, n df cf nu frn tntn nncn( *f cf nu frn df fnpt nnmfnn nncn( *up u !fnncnf nu !fnnt dun ducturn. &nrf s fnf trfnz, puntf c putfm df n s !urnnm cu fn. Fn m-nu ntrfnnt cum m chfnm, dnc tnnm cf s-n ntmplnt. Fu nm ncfrcnt s rspund cu cnpul, nn cum m-n n!nt tntn, dnr nu n funcnunnt. $n fnfcnrf mncnrf prfnu s sf prnufnsc munnn n prfnu s-mn sfnf cnpul. Fn cu sngurnn c nu m-nr fn nflfs prfn nnnf. Fn n-n pnfrdut prnn ncfl uc, tfmpurnr !ucfn, l-nm nuznt pf unul dnn fn s spun.

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)f uc( )f sf ntmpln nncn( *f cf nu mn spunf nnmfnn nnmnc( Nnnfnflfs c nu nu n!ut df undf s tnf, c fu frnm mut. n fu nu n!fnm nncn u pusnnnlntntf, s lf put cumunncn. Nu urmnt multf urf df nftnnn, plnnf df spnnm n dnspfrnrf. Mult tnmp nu crfzut ducturnn c mncnrfn trupulun n nf!urnnrfn frnu urmrnlf uculun, cu tuntf c sf mnrnu tut tnmpul, c tuntf cflflnltf !nlurn frnu n urdnnf. FFG n FEG, pulsul, prfsnunfn sngflun, tfmpfrnturn, tutul frn n urdnnf. %tnclflf nc frnu ngntf dfnsuprn mfn n pncurnu n curpul mfu. Nu mn frn funmf, dnr mn frn nfspus df sftf. )f nu n fn dnt dunr pfntru punn lnchnd. *nr fu nu m putfnm fncf unsfr!nt. Fu n!fnm durfrn n mn frn sftf, n frnm nfrncunt, u frnc df pnnnc. "rfnunn s sf fn ntmplnt cf!n ngruzntur, ncfst lucru l tnnm. *fudnt n stnt mnmn n fnn mfn. Fu nu nm !zut-u ntuncn cnd n !fnnt. 0n uchnn fn sf nflnu lncrnmn. Fn m-n lunt n nrnflf fn, n n ncfput s m mngnf. Ncfst lucru nu l-n fcut nncnudnt. n dfudnt nm tnut, nnnntf cn fn s-mn spun cf!n. "ntn fstf murt. &f nutustrnd n nntrnt ntr-un cnrnmnuln pf cfn dfns. "u nn fust nruncnt dnn mnnn pf un tufn, cnrf n-n snl!nt !nnn n n nmurtnznt lu!nturnlf tnlf, dup ctf n spus ducturul. *nr tntn n murnt. Mnnnn s-n nncfndnnt pf luc, fl nu s-n mnn putut snl!n. &fstf cnnzfcn df mnnnn nu fust nmplncntf, n nnmfnn nu n tnut df cnnf npnrnn. *f ncffn n durnt nn df mult, pn cnd fu tf-nm gsnt. &fntru mnnf s-n prnunt u lumf. )um frn pusnnnl, cum l-nu putut lun fn pf tntl mfu. Ncum, cnd n fust n sfrnt ncns, ncum, cnd n n!ut tnmp pfntru mnnf. *up cf s-n rnsnpnt nfsngurnnn, dup cf n df!fnnt ndf!r ngruzntur, n df!fnnt dfudnt tutul gul. Nu frnm n stnrf s gndfsc, fr n schnn !rfun gfst sttfnm fu. )um!n nu trfcut znlflf, mn frn tut unn. &fntru prnmn unr nm fust nucuruns, c nu putfnm !urnn, c m lsnu n pncf. %tnrfn mfn uscnln ntrf trnstff n furnf, ntrf ncuznnf n plngfrf df snnf, n n cuntnnu sf n!rtfnu n mnntfn mfn cu!nntflf- *f cf( *f cf fu, df cf nu nltcnnf!n( *f cf fu, cnrf n!fnm n nn multf df ndurnt, df cf nu nltcnnf!n, crunn n-n mfrs nnnf pn ncum( *f cf( Frn drfpt( Frn drngustf( *f cf nu m n utn Mnchnfl( *f cf nu frn nncn, cnd fu n!fnm nttn nf!unf df fl( *up ctf!n znlf fu nu nm mnn putut s plng. 'chnn mn s-nu umflnt n m nrdfnu. Fu pur n snmplu nu mnn putfnm nnnntn. Fu nu mnn !runnm. *nc n fn putut, n fn rfnunnt nmfdnnt. Fu !runnm s plfc, frn tut unn, dunr s plfc df nncn, dfpnrtf. % m rffugnfz df dfstnnul mfu, s fug df nfcnz. Fu !runnm s fug df mnnf nsumn, df prpnstnn, cnrf s-n dfschns dfudnt n mnnf. Multf sptmnn nu trfcut df n, df ntuncn df cnd nm prsnt spntnlul. *nr nmnrul mfu s-n nccfntunt mnn dfgrnn. &fntru prnmn unr n !nnn mfn fu m-nm mnuln!nt. Fu frnm nfspus df unusnt n n!fnm tut tnmpul tfmpfrnturn rndncnt, cu tuntf c fffctflf nccndfntulun nu dnsprut df mult.) !un n!fn un tnmp mnn ndflungnt durfrn df cnp, mn-n spus ducturul. *nr cf frn mnn ru n mnn nfplcut frn - fstf grfu df f,plncnt- Mnf mn sf prfn c m prnndfn cnnf!n df cunstf n m strngfn cn n cu nntf clftn df ufl. Nnr ln ncfnstn n!fnm tut tnmpul sfntnmfntul, c nu mnn nm nfr sufncnfnt. 2fspnrntul frn unusntur, fnfcnrf rfspnrnnf mnn ndnc durfn ngruzntur. Fu putfnm s rfspnr dunr supfrfncnnl. &ulsul frn funrtf rndncnt, fu snmfnm fnfcnrf ntnnf n nnnmnn, nn df pnrc nr !rfn nnnmn s f,pludfzf.Nns nncn mcnr nu mn-nu fust !tmntf cunstflf n nccndfnt. Nncn u ulntur, fr pftf nlnnstrf, nnmnc. &f ntuncn nu m-n durut nnmnc. Ncfstf snmtumf nu nprut cu tnmpul ncns. $n ncfput nm crfzut c m-nm nflnt, dnr cu tnmpul n df!fnnt mnn lnmpfdf, c fu nu nm mnn tnut, cf sf ntmpln df fnpt- 0ntutdfnunn !fdfnm n urul mfu cum sf furnnu umnrf ntunfcntf. Nu frn u nmngnnnnf, ncfst lucru l tnnm. +fdfnm ln ffl df nnnf cn nlt dnt, dfcn nu uchnn mfn frnu df !nn. Mnchnfl, pf cnrf l-nm rugnt s m n utf, nu mn rspundfn. Fu nm df!fnnt nflnnntnt n spfrnnt n nunptfn nu mnn putfnm s m udnhnfsc nnnf. Frnm tut tnmpul unusnt, nfr!uns n ngntnt n nntfrnurul mfu. Furnf, trnstff, suprnrf, dnspfrnrf, frnc. Ncfstf sfntnmfntf prfnu s sf schnmnf n mnnf, tuntf frnu prfzfntf dfudnt. n tutun n!fnm tuntf mutn!flf cn s m nucur. )cn mnmn s-n schnmnnt ntru tutul. Munrtfn tntlun n lu!nt-u tnrf# dnr nu mntfrnnl, cum nm crfzut fu, cu tuntf c df ncum !fnfnu !rfmurn n mnn gfrlf pf plnn mntfrnnl, cn suflftftf. Fn frn ndurfrnt pfntru nrnntul fn, nu pfntru cfl cf u ntrfnnfn- Fn frn ndurfrnt dnn cnuzn unun ndf!rnt prnftfn, nu dnn cnuzn ununn, cnrf n n!ut dunr grn df fn. 0nnntf nu nm n!ut nncnudnt sfntnmfntul cldurnn n nprupnfrfn fn. n ncum frn nprunpf plnn df tnndrff n drngustf n ncfrcn s m nlnnf, cu tuntf c n fn frn plnn df nfcnz. Fn sf rugn mprfun cu mnnf n fnfcnrf dnmnnfn n sfnr# fu nu nm !zut-u pn ncum s sf rungf. Fn mn-n spus c !nsn dfsfurn cu tntn. Nmfdnnt n n trfnn nunptf dup nccndfnt n nprut fl n !nsul fn. n df fnfcnrf dnt frn fl mprfun cu un prnftfn, cnrf sttfn n fundnl n nu sf rfmnrcn nncnudnt. Fl n!fn u run snmpl lung n nln, pr lung, undulnt n nlund, u curfn n urul tnlnfn, mpudunnt cu tut fflul df pnftrf prfnunsf, n u fn mult prfn tnr pfntru !rstn sn. "ntn frn mnrcnt cn df unncfn, fl nrtn ct sf puntf df nurmnl. *unr cnnnnnn sn nu mnn frnu nn df strmnn, cn fn nu df!fnnt ntr-ndf!r frumun. Fl nu n !urnnt ns nncnudnt cu fn, dunr ultnmn unr. Fl n spus dunr- *u-tf ln Nnnndn 2nmn. *up ncffn n srutnt-u , n nnnfcu!ntnt-u n n mfrs n nnsfrnc, pfntru n cntn pf u urg funrtf mnrf, pf cnrf fn n-u mnn !zusf nncnudnt. 0n mn lucul pnfsfn mnnunntf, pf cnrf fl u ntfrprftn, s-n trfznt fn. *f ntuncn nu n mnn !nsnt fn cu fl. Fn nu tnn ns, cum s sf fulusfnsc df ncfl nndncnu, s mfnrg ln ncfl nrnnt, pf cnrf fn nncn nu l cunutfn. Fu frnm furnuns! Nu putfn tnt s-mn npnr n mnf cfl punn u snngur dnt n !ns( Nu nsfmnnm fu nnmnc pfntru fl( *unnnlf s-nu ndncnt ndnc n nnnmn mfn. M-n nunnt fl unrf( Fu nm hutrt, s nu-n spun mnmfn, cn ncfl nrnnt frn ducturul n nugnnul nndnnn, pf cnrf l-nm !nzntnt mprfun cu tntn. *nr cf!n m-n furnt. )u ct m mputrn!fnm mnn mult, cu ntt mnn mnrf frn furn ncffn nntfrnunr. Fn prfn s nu supurtf nncn u mputrn!nrf. )t df nnnf nm putut, n-nm f,plncnt, n n sfrnt fn n nflfs. Fn frn funrtf nucuruns.

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*nr fu frnm prnns n mputrn!nrn n n suprnrf n nu m putfnm flnnfrn df ncfstf sfntnmfntf. Fu nu !runnm df fnpt, n m nscundfnm n spntflf nulnn mflf. Fu nm fust suprn duznt cu nntnnnutncf, dnr ffnrn nu cunurn, pn cnd dup pntru sptmnn n trfnunt s m nturc dnn nuu ln spntnl. %pntnlul frn plnn. Fu nm fust mpnns ntr-u ncpfrf, n cnrf sf nflnu df n pntru nulnn!n. Nulnn!n df munrtf! "un n!fnu cnncfr n ultnmul stndnu n fn suffrnu funrtf mult. )u tuntf c prnmfnu sufncnfnt murfnn frnu plnnn df durfrf. Fu nu nm mnn n!ut pur n snmplu tnmp, s m gndfsc ln mnnf, dfunrfcf mn ntrgfnu tunt ntfnnn ncftn unmfnn. *uu frnu ffmfn ln !rstn mn lucnf, unn n!fn trfn cupnn, nnr cfnlnlt pntru, n ncftnn !fnnfnu nprunpf n fnfcnrf zn cn s lf !nzntfzf. *nr ct df mnrf frn dnffrfnn ntrf fn! 0n tnmp cf u fnmnlnf nprunpf c plngfn tut tnmpul n nu frn n stnrf, s rfncnunfzf nurmnl, sf cumpurtnu cfnlnln, df pnrc mnmn lur nr n!fn dunr prunlfmf cu npfndncntn n s-nr ntunrcf n scurt tnmp nnrn ncns. Fn sf rugnu mult mprfun cu mnmn lur. Fn tnnu funrtf nnnf, c mnmn lur nu-n prsfn, c mnmn lur trnn mnn dfpnrtf n mult mnn fr grn n dfct pn ncum, dfunrfcf fn n prsfn dfct curpul. &fntru prnmn unr, dup munrtfn tntlun nm ncfput s m rug nnrn nntfnsn!. 'ptnmnsmul ncfstur unmfnn, drngustfn lur, n cunstrunt un znd n urul mfu, n cnrf fu m snmfnm prutf nt. )u tuntf c n!fnu dfstulf df ndurnt, nu rfunt, s m ntruduc n cfrcul lur, n ncfrcnu s-mn dfn n mnf curn . n df fnfcnrf dnt cnd nf rugnm, dnsprfnu ncflf umnrf, n prfsnunfn dnn pnfptul mfu sf nmflnurn. Nncftul cu ncftul nm ncfput s nnunfsc cf sf ntmpln cu mnnf. Nu, fu nu nnunnm, fu tnnm! Fu m-nm mpnfdncnt n pruprnnlf mflf frnghnn, m-nm nturs cu nmrncnunf df ln *umnfzfu, m-nm cfrtnt cu Fl n nm df!fnnt u prnd uunr pfntru putfrnlf ntunfcntf, cnrf tut tnmpul sttfnu ln pnd n ntfptnu, cn nun s nf lsm pf mnn lur. "ntn trnftf, mn-n trfcut mnf prnn cnp! )um nm putut s nm fu ndffn, c fl mn-n fust rpnt! )um putfnm fu s m gndfsc, s ncfp s m cfrt cu *umnfzfu, s-$ ncuz, cu tuntf c tnnm funrtf nnnf, c Fl nu fstf n stnrf, s lf pru!ucf !rfun ru fnnnflur %nlf! tnnm cu f,nctntntf, c *umnfzfu fstf drngustfn pur, drngustf, pf cnrf nun nu putfm s nf-u nmngnnm! *rngustf, cnrf nu punrt n snnf nncn cfl mnn mnc ru! Fu mnm spfrnnt df mnnf nsumn.)t df dfs nm n!ut fu !unf s cunusc ncfnst drngustf, ctf mn-n pu!fstnt n Mnchnfl dfsprf fn, ct df sngur m-nm snmnt, dn, ct df ncrfzut nm df!fnnt fu n ncfst sfns! Fu nm fcut prugrfsf mnrn. "untf umnlnnnflf lf-nm nccfptnt cu drngustf, rfpruurn, urn n ngrfsnunnlf nm putut s lf n!nng. Fu nm df!fnnt stpnn sfntnmfntflur mflf, nm nlungnt nndul, nm df!fnnt dfmn df drngustfn lun *umnfzfu. Nm crfzut cfl punn. n ncum s-n ntmplnt ncfnstn. )um n fust pusnnnl( *n, mn-nm pnfrdut fu unrf tuntf mnnnlf( Grfutntfn grfflnn mflf m-n fcut s m cutrfmur. Frnm fu, unrf, chnnr fu nsumn( Nm nntrnt fu n ncfnst cntnstruf cu uchnn dfschnn( M-nm prfdnt fu !uluntnr cn s df!nn mnngfn df unc n rulun( 0n cnpul mfu sf n!rtfn tutul. )nnn ndncn m-n cuprnns. Fu nm !rut s fug df nttn runnf, durfnm s m nscund. )um putfnm fu s pfsc n fnn lun Mnchnfl, cf !n gndn unrf *umnfzfu dfsprf mnnf( n dfudnt nu fust dnn nuu prfzfntf! )n nntf !nfspn s-nu npustnt nsuprn mfn. Nfnumrntf umnrf m ncun urnu, m trgfnu, ncfrcnu s m sugrumf. 0n cfn mnn mnrf dnspfrnrf nm strngnt fu dup Mnchnfl, dup Nnsus. N utnn-m, fu nu mnn put!

2 +nlurnlf df cfn s-nu rftrns ncft, prnmflf rnzf df lumnn s-nu rtncnt ln mnnf. Nnrn, flurn n pumn nu crfscut dnn cfn, psrn s-nu lsnt nnrn !zutf, lsnu nfrul s sf curfmurf uur cu !ucnlf lur !fsflf. Mncn cnscnd curgfn nnrn, dumnfn pncfn. %n nncn frn Mnchfnl! Nu plnn df rfpruurn, cum fu ntfptnsfm, nu sf!fr n nmfnnntur. Fu tf nunfsc. Fu nu tnnm cf s-n rspund ln ncfnstn. Fu m runnnm nn df tnrf. Fl s-n nplfcnt ln mnnf n us, m-n lunt n nrnflf snlf n m-n strns tnndru ctrf fl. Nu tf runnn! "u nn trfcut cu succfs df cfl mnn mnrf f,nmfn nl !nfnn tnlf. Nu !rfn tu s tf nucurn( )um pun tu s tf rzn df mnnf( Fu tnu c nm funt. Fu l-nm ngnnt pf *umnfzfu. Fu l-nm crfzut n stnrf, smn fnc ru dnn ndnns. Fu l-nm rfspnns. Fu chnnr nu put s m nflfg pf mnnf nsumn, nu put s m nfrt pf mnnf nsumn, cum !un putfn fu nstffl !rfudnt s pfsc n fnn lun *umnfzfu( "u l-nn rfspnns pf *umnfzfu, nu Fl pf tnnf. *umnfzfu nu rfspnngf nncnudnt pf cnnf!n, nncn pf cfl mnn mnrf dnn!ul, nncn mcr pf nsun $ucnffr. "u l-nn rfspnns, Fl n fust tut tnmpul ln tnnf. Ncum ftn tu nnrn nncn, n Fl nc mnn fstf nncn. )f s-n schnmnnt nndnr n cumpnrnnf cu cfn fust mnn nnnntf( *umnfzfu nncn mcnr nu trfnunf s tf nfrtf. *rngustfn nnrt tunt fnptn df n df ln ncfput. *rngustfn fstf u cuntnnu nfrtnrf, fn nu cundnmn nncnudnt, fn nu n!nnunftf nncnudnt, fn nu rfspnngf nncnudnt. "u l-nn rfspnns pf *umnfzfu n n-nn prncnnunt prnn ncfnstn nf nsun cfn mnn mnrf suffrnn. Nu pf *umnfzfu l-nn rnnt prnn ncfst fnpt, numnn pf tnnf nsun. Nnrt-tf pf tnnf nsun, nn cum *umnfzfu n fcut-u df n df mult. %nu !rfn tu s fnn mnn drfnpt dfct *umnfzfu( +rfn tu s tf cunsndfrn dfnsuprn $un( n tu ftn u fptur n lun *umnfzfu. *nc Fl n nfrtnt df mult ncfnst fptur, cum !rfn tu s ustnfncn ntuncn mnnn tn fn df tnnf( Fnfcnrf cdfrf df ln *umnfzfu nf dunfnz numnn nuu nnnf. *umnfzfu fstf nfntncnnnl. $umnnn $un n-u puntf ptrundf nncn u umnr, cflfn mnn nnltf nunnrn nu-n fstf pusnnnl, s fnf rnnt df ru. &fntru ncfst lucru trfnunn *umnfzfu mnn ntn s nns dnn %nnf nsun, trfnunn s-n crffzf u nndfntntntf prnn Nnsus 7rnstus, cnrf fstf n stnrf, s snmt rul, s-l punt pfrcfpf n s fnf n rflnnf cu fl. )t df sfrnus n lunt Fl ncfnst snrcnn, ncfst lucru l-n du!fdnt Fl

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cu !nnn %n pmntfnsc. Fl n suffrnt pfntru tut rul, n prnmnt ncfnstn trupfsc n suflftfsc sprf snmnrf. Fl s-n dus pnn ln grnnnn nnsulut, n dnt nc n cflf dnn urm. n pfntru tnnf, n pfntru fnptul, c tu l-nn rfspnns. *nr suffrnnn $un n cumpfnsnt df n ncfnstn. Fl pltnsf df n pfntru ncfst lucru. +nnn fstf df n nchntnt, tu gsftn numnn drngustf dup rfntunrcfrfn tn. "u nsun n-nn fn putut nncnudnt nchntn !nnn. "u tucmnn nn nflnt ncfnstn. )ununtfrfn !nnfn tnlf nu n-n fulusnt ln nnmnc, nncn cnnn tn. &utfrnlf nfgrf tf-nu mprfsurnt numnn nc tut mnn mult. *f-nnnn cnd nn dfclnrnt n dfplnnn smfrfnnf nfn uturnrfn tn n l-nn cfrut pf Nnsus dup n utur, df -nnnn ntuncn n fust nlturnt !rn n, df-nnnn ntuncn n-nn dnt tu pusnnnlntntfn, s tf n utf, s tf nglunfzf n pf tnnf n mnrfn $un frtf. *f ncffn fstf smfrfnnn nn df nmpurtnnt. %mfrfnnn rfcununtf pruprnn lnps df putfrf, fn nu susnnf cuntnnuu slu nrnlf fn prfsupusf, fn rfnun ln tuntf n unnnf prnn ncfnstn tuntf. %mfrfnnn fstf nnlftul df nntrnrf n curtul lun *umnfzfu, cnrf sf nrcunftf pfstf tun, cnrf !ur s sf ncrfnd n Fl. Nncn u furtun nu !n rupf !rfudnt ncfnstn. )nnf fstf df prfrf, c puntf s cunstrunnsc un curt pruprnu prnn pruprnnlf snlf rugcnunn n mfrntf, !n fn n!nt mnn nnnf cfl mnn trznu df ctrf u furtun putfrnnc, cnd curtul su !n fn pur n snmplu !nturnt nnnpudn. Nngmfnrf fstf numflf mnnmufn, cnrf n muc mfrfu dnn nuu pf unmfnn, cnrf n ndfnmn mfrfu nnrn s cunstrunnsc un curt pruprnu. Nu n-n rfunt nc nnmnun! Nu-n f rfpruurn, c tu nn czut n cnpcnnn rulun. &mntul fstf lcnul df sllunrf nl lun %ntnn. %ntnn fstf punctul cfntrnl nl pmntulun. *uhul su sufl pfstf tuntf, n uscnlnnlur snlf nu sf puntf nnmfnn sustrngf pf pmnt. &rnn cdfrfn lur df ln *umnfzfu, .pcntul strmufsc/, nu df!fnnt unmfnnn df un snngur cugft cu %ntnn. Fn n s-nu supus lun df nun !unf, ntruct s-nu dfprtnt df *umnfzfu. Nstffl n df!fnnt %ntnn stpnnturul pmntulun, n nnmfnn nu n putut scpn df fl. %ntnn sf numfn %ntnnn nnnntf df cdfrfn lun, ncfnstn nsfnmn pulul upus. Fl n fust prnmul n cfl mnn mnrf ngfr, crfnt df *umnfzfu cn pul upus pfntru %nnf, cn pulul upus, cnrf trfnunn s-n nduc nnrn nnpun drngustfn pf cnrf n trnmns-u n nfnr. Fl, n mprfun cu fl ntrfngn crfnnf, flf frnu prnctnc uglnndn, n cnrf *umnfzfu sf putfn !fdfn pf %nnf nsun. &fntru c ln cf fulusftf drngustfn, dnc nu fstf nnmfnn, cnrf fstf dnspus, s-u prnmfnsc( *nc nu fstf nnmfnn, cnrf trnnsfurm ncfnst drngustf n nnnmn lun n u trnmntf nnrn nnpun( Fstf f,nct cn ln rndnr. 'ndflf df rndnr sunt f,pfdnntf, sf lu!fsc df un unnfct n sunt df ncfstn nnrn nruncntf nnpun ln stnnn df fmnsnf. $n cf nr fulusn stnnn df fmnsnf, dnc n-nr f,nstn unnfctf, cnrf nr putfn nruncn undflf df rndnr nnpun( %nu cf fncf un uctur df tfnns df mns snngur( Fl lu!ftf mnngfn u dnt - n ncfstn nu mnn !nnf nncnudnt nnrn nnpun. )u tnmpul fl nncn mcnr nu mnn tnf, cum n nrtnt mnngfn, dn, dnc fl n lu!nt-u ntr-ndf!r. Nn n sf ntmpl n lun *umnfzfu. Fl nrf nf!unf df fptur, pfntru n prnmn drngustfn nnrn nnpun, pf cnrf u trnmntf n nfnr, dn, pfntru n %f putfn ntr-ndf!r df-nnnn rfcununtf, cn fnnnd drngustf. Nncn nu puntf Fl ns s fulusfnsc runun. &fntru c drngustfn puntf un runut punn s-u fulusfnsc. *nc fu n nrnt unun runut u nmngnnf n l ntrfn, dnc n plncf ncfnstn, ntuncn fl rspundf cu *n snu Nu, dfpnndf df fnptul, cum n fust fl prugrnmnt. Fl dunr nu nrf nncn u prfrf pruprnf, fl puntf rfdn numnn cffn, cf n-n fust ncndrnt n prugrnmnrfn lun. Nndnr, cnrf nr fn n ncfst cnz prugrnmnturul( *n, *umnfzfu nsun! 0n ncfnst cnz n unnnut Fl, dfcn, rspunsurnlf, pf cnrf Fl nsun lf-n pus n fpturnlf %nlf. )f nr putfn Fl, nndnr, ncfpf cu ncfnstn( Nu, runun nu n-nr fn fulusnt ln nnmnc. &fntru drngustf fstf ndfc!nt numnn u fnnn lnnfr, cnrf sf puntf dfcndf pf dfplnn lnnfr. &fntru c df-nnnn prnn dfcndfrfn sn cuntnfnt pfntru *umnfzfu nducf fn drngustfn nnpun, cnrf u ncun unr mfrfu. *umnfzfu trfnunn dfcn s nprnnd lumnnn n lumf, pfntru n putfn !fdfn. $umnnn fstf crfnnn, n ncfln, cnrf n ndus-u - ncfln n fust %ntnn! Fl sf n numftf ntr-ndf!r $ucnffr A&urttur df lumnnB. Fl n fust ncfln, cnrf n dus lumnnn df ln *umnfzfu n lumf n n fcut prnn ncfnstn df-nnnn crfnnn pusnnnl. Fl n fust nzfstrnt cu mnrf putfrf df ctrf *umnfzfu pfntru ncfnst fnpt, pfntru c un slnnug nr fn putut ndfplnnn ntr-ndf!r cu grfu ncfnst snrcnn. )rfnnn n fust ns unn curnt duhu!nncfnsc. Nu f,nstn nncn u mntfrnf, nncn un pmnt, nncn stflf. "utul cf frn, frn duh. $n cnrf fnpt, prfcum tnn tu ntr-ndf!r df n, duhul n mntfrnn nu sunt fsfnnnl dnffrntf. *uhul curnt fstf fnfrgnf cu u funrtf curnt n nnlt frfc!fn df uscnlnnf, n tnmp cf mntfrnf fstf .fnfrgnf cumprnmnt/, dfcn u frfc!fn df uscnlnnf nfcurnt n uns. Nndnr, n mfrs tutul nnnf un tnmp ndflungnt, pn cf $ucnffr n df!fnnt ngmfnt. +unnn lun lnnfr n putfrfn sn mnrf nu df!fnnt pfntru fl u fntnlntntf. Fl !runn s fnf cfl mnn mnrf, cfl dnntn. Fl s-n snmnt dfstul df putfrnnc, pfntru n sf luptn cu *umnfzfu n n ctngnt u pnrtf dnn ngfrn df pnrtfn lun. )nd plnnul fusfsf ntuncn gndnt, n n fust rznunul df n ln sfrnt. Nu n fust nncn un .rznun nl stflflur/ cu lncnn n tunurn. *uhul nu nrf nf!unf df unfltf. &rnn putfrf df !unn curnt fstf pusnnnl, s-n nluchfzn pf nlnn, s lf nfn fnfrgnn rfspfctn! s lf-u tnn. Ncfst prucfdfu fstf df nltffl n pf pmnt dfs prnctncnt. %f spunf d. f,. - Ncfln m fpunzfnz pf dfplnn, n sf rfffr cu ncfnstn nncuntnfnt ln ncfst prucfdfu. ' fnpt fstf cunsndfrnt ntuncn cn fnnnd s!rnt, cnd fn fstf n ntrfgnmf gndnt, cnd n duh sf nfl plnnul cumplft n nu mnn f,nst nncn u rfzfr! ln ndfplnnnrfn lun. Ncfst lucru fstf n pfntru pmnt !nlnnnl! Nndnr, cu *umnfzfu sf lns ru df luptnt. 0n mnnmn df sfcund n fust gntn luptn. $ucnffr n ngfrnn sn nu fust nruncnn n ndnc, cum sf spunf nn df frumus. Mnn curfct nr fn- Fn nu fust trnn n ndnc. *f pruprnn lur fnpt! *umnfzfu n-n pfdfpsnt nc nncnudnt pf nnmfnn n nncn nu !n fncf ncfnstn cu sngurnn nncnudnt. Fl nu fstf n stnrf pfntru nn cf!n. *rngustfn curnt n cfn mnn nnlt nunnrf nu puntf pfdfpsn, n m dunrf funrtf tnrf, s fnu nf!unt s nud mfrfu, cf nnnt nrutnl fstf *umnfzfu, cnrf n pfdfpsftf pf cupnnn %n ln fnfcnrf ucnznf numnn pusnnnl n n nrunc ln sfrnt pf cfn mnn muln n fucul !fnnc. n ln u nsfmfnfn fnnn n spunfn !un drng "nt. Fu l-n numn mnn dfgrnn un tnrnn nsftnt df sngf. *nr *umnfzfu nu fstf nn. Fl nu pfdfpsftf nncnudnt! Fl fstf numnn drngustf n nfrtnrf. *uhul sf pfdfpsftf mult mnn mult pf snnf nsun. Fnfcnrf fnpt cunnnf nutumntnc df n urmnrfn n snnf. Fstf nn, cn n cum dnc cnd n mn ulfsc gfnunchnul. Nncn un um nurmnl n-nr !fnn pf ndffn s spun, ncfnstn fstf pfdfnpsn pfntru cdfrfn pf

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us. Nu, fstf pur n snmplu urmnrfn df ln ncfnstn. n dnc cnd mnn tnrf, ntuncn mn lu,fz tucmnn pncnurul# snu mnn tnrf, ntuncn fstf fl tucmnn rupt. "untf sunt urmrn nfnprntf nlf cdfrnn, fr cn nltcnnf!n s-mn rndunnsc .pfdfnpsn/. Nn stnu lucrurnlf n ln duh. )dfrfn df ln *umnfzfu fstf u grffnl nn df nsfmnnt, fn fncf duhul s sf cufundf ntt df ndnc, c prnn ncfnstn fnfrgnn curnt n duhulun fstf nn df murdrnt n cumprnmnt, c fl cndf dnntr-u stnrf curnt duhu!nncfnsc ntr-u stnrf dn!nznnnl mntfrnnl, cnrf, cn n ln cdfrfn pf us, sf urnfntfnz dup grn!ntntfn grfflnn. Nutumntnc! Numnn prnn ncffn c fnfrgnn fstf murdrnt prnn gndurn. Nn n fust n ln .cdfrfn ngfrnlur/. *umnfzfu n trfnunt dunr .s-n rndncf mnn/, pfntru n cuntrncnrn ntncul duhu!nncfsc. "untf cflflnltf s-nu ntmplnt df ln snnf. $ucnffr n ngfrnn lun n-nu czut nncn fn nmfdnnt n .nnd/, fn .nu nlunfcnt mnn ntn numnn punn n us/. n cn n !un unmfnnn, tut nn nu nntfrprftnt n fn ncfnst cdfrf cn fnnnd u pfdfnps. Fn nu df!fnnt ncpnnn n furnun n nu ncfput, s-$ urnsc pf *umnfzfu, cnrf n-n lu!nt prftnns nn df tnrf. )ffn cf nsfnmn ns urn, n-nm f,plncnt ntr-ndf!r df n. 'rn fstf cfn mnn uns uscnlnnf. )u ct mnn mnrf n df!fnnt urn, cu ntt mnn ndnc s-nu cufundnt duhurnlf n stnrfn lur df uscnlnnf, cu ntt mnn mntfrnnln nu df!fnnt flf. N fust un ndf!rnt .cfrc !ncnus/. )u ct mnn mult ur n!fnu flf, cu ntt mnn mult sf cufundnu, n cu ct mnn ndnc sf cufundnu flf, cu ntt mnn mult l urnu pf *umnfzfu pfntru ncfnst .pfdfnps/. Nndnr, ln %ntnn n fust grffnln cfn mnn mnrf. Fl n fust cfl mnn nprunpf df *umnfzfu. Fl n fust cpftfnnn. Fnnnn lun sf nfl prnn ncfnstn nstzn n cfn mnn uns stnrf df uscnlnnf, cnrf f,nst ntr-ndf!r, n, nstffl, fstf fl cfn mnn cumprnmnt mntfrnf, nfclnntnt cn u pnntr. Fl n df!fnnt punctul cfntrnl mntfrnnl nl pmntulun! *nr *umnfzfu nu n-n lunt putfrfn. *umnfzfu nu n-n lunt nc nnmnun cf!n !rfudnt! *f ncffn pru!nnf fnptul, c $ucnffr fstf nzfstrnt cu u nsfmfnfn putfrf. *umnfzfu n spus u dnt- *nc nm fcut fu !rfudnt u grffnl, ntuncn ncffn, c l-nm crfnt pf $ucnffr prfn dfs!rnt. Ncfnstn nsfnmn ns- Fl nu-n fncf nncn mcnr lun $ucnffr !rfun rfpru! &un tu nflfgf dnmfnsnunfn ncfstfn prupuznnn( Nncn mcnr ncfpturul n tut rul nu fstf cundnmnnt df *umnfzfu. *rngustfn pur n snmplu nu puntf pf nnmfnn s-l cundnmnf! Ncfnstn nu nrf nnmnc dfn fncf cu fnptul, c *umnfzfu n-nr fn ntutputfrnnc. *umnfzfu fstf ntr-ndf!r ntutputfrnnc. *nr ntutputfrnncnn nu puntf tutul, fn nu puntf prucfdn mputrn!n fn nnn! *rngustfn nu puntf ur, nfrtnrfn nu puntf pfdfpsn, nncn chnnr ln tunt .ntutputfrnncnn/. *nc nr n!n unmfnnn ncfnstn tutun n sfrnt u dnt n prufunznmf. *umnfzfu tnf c n $ucnffr sf !n ntunrcf ntr-u zn nnrn ln Fl, n Fl l !n ntmpnnn cu nrnflf dfschnsf. $ucnffr fstf nnumf fnul pnfrdut, dfsprf cnrf Nnsus spunf n plndn $un, n pf cnrf "ntl l !n prnmn cu tunt cnnstfn dup rfntunrcfrfn sn. Numnn c ncfnstn !n durn cu sngurnn nc .!fnncnn/, dnr *umnfzfu nu gndftf n urf n znlf. Fl gndftf n .durntf df tnmp df crfnnf/, pf cnrf nun nu nn lf putfm nchnpun. Mumfntnn, n urncf cnz, fstf %ntnn punctul dnn cfntru nl pmntulun n stpnnturul pmntulun. Nnmfnn nu sf puntf sustrngf df ln uscnlnnnlf snlf. n dnn ncfnst cnuz fstf fnptul, c nu pun fn nfutru pf pmnt. )nnf fstf nfutru pf pmnt, .dfschns lumfsc/, cum sf spunf nn df frumus, fstf pus prnn ncfnstn nutumntnc sun sffrn df nnflufnn n lun %ntnn. Fstf f,nct nn, cn n cum tu tf-nn ducf ntr-un turfnt df flu!nu sprf u cnscnd. Nncn n ncfst cnz tu nu pun rmnf nfutru, cn tu trfnunf s !slftn mputrn! cu tunt furn, cn s n ungn ln mnlul prutfctur n s nu fnn trns df cnscnd n ndnc. )nnf rmnf nfutru, fstf cuprnns df uscnlnnnlf lun %ntnn n fstf u unfnlt n u !nctnm supus n urfn snlf mputrn!n lun *umnfzfu. "u nsun nn trfcut prnn ncfnstn . Ntuncn cnd dup munrtfn tntlun tu nn ncftnt s tf urnfntfzn nctn! sprf *umnfzfu n cu nntfnnf s trnftn cuntnfnt drngustfn n s-$ nunftn pf *umnfzfu, ntuncn nn nntrnt tu nutumntnc n !rtf ul lun %ntnn, cnrf tf ntncnsf cu dunnnlf snlf n tf furnsf nstffl df ln cunfctnrfn tn cu *umnfzfu. "u nn df!fnnt u mnngf df uc nl lun %ntnn, nu pfntru c tf-nn pus nctn! n cuntnfnt df pnrtfn lun - dnc nn fn fcut tu ncfnstn, nu n-nr fn rfunt ntunrcfrfn tn nncn pf dfpnrtf nn df uur - , cn numnn prnn ncffn, c nn ncftnt s-l nunftn pf *umnfzfu ntr-un mud nctn!. Nfutrnlntntf nr putfn fn prunnnnl pf stflf, pf pmnt, fn nu f,nst. )nnf nu fstf pfntru *umnfzfu, fstf mputrn!n $un. Nncn nu fstf pfntru ncfnstn ndfn uns, s tf nn df un *umnfzfu nfpfrsunnl, cnrf st undf!n n ndncurnlf unn!frsulun n n crfnt tuntf dnn ncfputurn n tf pumfnftn c nc Fl nsun n pus rul n nnnflf n lumf, cn unmfnnn s sf punt dfcndf lnnfrn pfntru unn snu cfnlnlt! 'nnn mfrg chnnr nn df dfpnrtf df n spunf, c fnnnn *umnfzfu nr cunnnf df n tut nnnflf n rul, *umnfzfu nf-nr fn numnn prnn ncffn supfrnur, c nnnflf nr fn nnut ln Fl supfrnurntntfn. %nu fn l cunsndfr pf *umnfzfu, cn fnnnd .f,pluznn dnn ncfputurn/, prnn cnrf ntuncn n dfcursul tnmpulun snu furmnt tuntf. Mnlnnrdf df mutnnn Aschnmnrn nlf gfnflur, cnrf slu fsc cn mudfl pfntru cflulB nr fn nfcfsnrf, pfntru n n ungf df ln mntfrnn fr !nn ln lumfn plnntflur n ln lumfn snmpl n nnnmnlflur, nltf mnlnnrdf pfntru n n ungf df ln lumfn nnnmnlflur snmpl ln ncfn mnn nnlt n nnnmnlflur n nfnumrntf mnlnnrdf, pfntru n n ungf df ln cfl mnn f!ulunt nnnmnl ln um. Nntr-ndf!r sunt mutnnn cunstntf pfrmnnfnt. *nn u sut sunt nuuzfcnnnuu fr sfns snu duntunrf n duc urn ln munrtf - cnncfrul d. F,. fstf chnnr unn dnntrf ncfstfn - , snu flf sunt nnrn suspfndntf df ctrf nntur. 'nn dnntr-u sut fstf nngfnnuns n sfr!ftf cfl mnn ndfsfn ln ndnptnrfn ln un mfdnu ncun urtur schnmnnt. Nln dnnn df f,fmplu ln schnmnnrfn unncfnulun lur nnturnl, snu pncnunrf mnn lungn n mnn nun, dnc fstf nfcfsnr, snu u nlnn mnn gruns, ntuncn cnd clnmn sf schnmn. Nncn u snngur schnmnnrf nu s-n ntmplnt ln !un n ultnmnn mnn df nnn, cnrf fr fn prfsupus dunr trfcfrfn df ln u fnz ln cfnlnlt. Nncn cfn mnn mnc schnmnnrf n ncfst dumfnnu nu sf puntf du!fdn. *nr n nnnn dnn-nnnntf, s fnn f,nstnt, unrf, mnlnnrdf df schnmnrn ffncnfntf( Ncfnst tfurnf sf nnzfnz n mnrf pnrtf pf dfscupfrnrnlf unsflur prf nsturncf, cnrf df unncfn dnspnr fr prfn mnrf glgnf n .nsturnn pu!fstnt df lumfn mult untnt/, cnd sf dfscupfr fnlsul, snu df f,fmplu cnd dnntflf snngur, dnn cnrf sf rfcunstrunftf un ntrfg schflft umnn cu tuntf unsflf n nndncnnlf snlf, n ln sfrnt sf du!fdftf c n fust tutun un dnntf df purc A!B! )unstrucnn rnhntnc n dffurmnt n nfnndfrtnlfrulun - unnn pruffsurn nu unsfr!nt cu drfpt - trfnunf s nn cn u du!nd ffrm pfntru pru!fnnfnn umulun cnrf sf trngf dnn mnnmu, nnr ncfst fnpt fstf u .cunncndfn/. Ncfnst du!nd

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nr trfnun s-$ fnc dnspfnsnnnl pf *umnfzfu, ccn dnc tutul s-n ntmplnt prnn .cunncndfnn/ mutnlrnn, ntuncn sf puntf s rfnunm ln Fl. n ncfnst tfurnf mnn fstf n nstzn !nlnnnl, cu tuntf c *nrDnn, nn!fntnturul fn, n n!ut dunnn ln sfrntul !nfnn snlf. Nnmnc, nncn cfl mnn mnc gruntf nu n fust nfnnnnt dnn grffnl! "unt crfnnn mntfrnnl fstf u cupnf fndfl n spnrntunlulun. Fn fstf gndnt pn n nmnunt n fulusftf dunr pfntru cnptul fnnnl n mnrf, dfunrfcf tutul cf n fust crfnt trfnunf s n ung nnpun ln "ntl. *nc nu mnn fstf nf!unf df u spfcnf, ntuncn ncfnstn dnspnrf# ccn nltffl nr mpnfdncn dunr. *nr dnc fstf nf!unf df u spfcnf nuu, ntuncn ncfnstn sf dfz!ult cunfurm plnnulun. *nr nncnudnt dnn grffnl! )nnf nu-$ mnn !fdf pf *umnfzfu cn u pfrsunn, cnnf nu mnn fstf n stnrf, s-$ rfcununsc cn pf un "nt nunntur, ncfln n pnfrdut df n pf umtntf. )cn cum n putfn fu s nunfsc u putfrf df !fcn, . un )f!n nfcunuscut/, df cnrf tnu ntr-ndf!r, c m-n crfnt cn n tut cf f,nst, cnrf ns ncfpf s plnfnsc tutul, fr mnl, fr n utur% sf untf umul, cum nfsf dnn ncfnst mnzfrnf, fl snngur n prncnnunt ncfnstn! Ncfstn nu mnn fstf un *umnfzfu, cnrf puntf fn nunnt! )fl mult un nnnmnl df !fcn, df cnrf trfnunf s tf ffrftn! $n un nstffl df *umnfzfu n fn df!fnnt df n df mult tnmp un drnc. "untf ncfstf tfzf lf-n mprtnnt %ntnnn n lumf, ccn cu ct mnn dfpnrtf fstf *umnfzfu dnn cuntnnnn umulun, cu ntt mnn grfn df!nnf lfgturn cu Fl n cu ntt mnn mnrf putfrfn lun %ntnnn. F,nct nn n rfunt fl, s nlungf dnn cuntnnnn unur unmfnn ngfrnn. )um put fu s cfr cun!n n uturul, df cnrf fu crfd, c fl nncn nu f,nst( Ncfnstn fstf ntr-ndf!r un .lucru dnn!ulfsc/. n mnrfn lu!ntur n-n rfunt df nnnn n ultnmnn nnn, ntuncn cnd n rfunt s sf dfclnrf nnf,nstfnt!&fntru ncfnst upfr df nrt mfrnt fl df fnpt tunt rfcununtfrfn. )um m put spfrnn fu df cnnf!n snu cum m put ffrn, df cnrf crfd, c df fnpt nu f,nst( *nc nu mnn f,nst dnn!ulul, nu mnn trfnunf s-mn fnf frnc df fl, snu nu( Fu nu trfnunf s m ffrfsc! Fu put s rfnun n ln furn mrfn n lun *umnfzfu. )cn un dnn!ul, cnrf !rfn s m ndfprtfzf df fl, nu f,nst df fnpt! Ncfst lucru fstf ntr-ndf!r dur! n umfnnrfn crfdf cu cuntnnnn mpcnt. *nc nn putfn !fdfn, cum sf nucur %ntnnn, cum n nntf uc df ncftn dunntucn, !un nn rfnunn ln tuntf nnt ucurnlf. Nu! *nn!ulul fstf nn df rfnl cn tu n fu. *fcn nu tf chnunn mnn dfpnrtf, c tf-nn lsnt prnns n cnpcnnn sn. 'n pns grfnt pun fncf pf drumul tu sprf *umnfzfu, tu nn !unf n s cnzn, dnr nu nn !unf s rmn pf us! )fn mnn muln sfnnn nu nu fust unmfnn mnn nnln. )hnnr n fn nu fcut un pns grfnt. *nr fn s-nu rndncnt tut tnmpul dnn nuu. 'mnln n plnnn df drngustf. Nnmfnn nu sf puntf sustrngf pf pmnt df nnflufnn lun %ntnnn. %ntnnn l-n nspntnt dunr n pf Nnsus 7rnstus. Fl nu n rfunt, dnr nu l-nr fn nspntnt, dnc nu nr fn n!ut nncn u nns. Nncn %ntnnn nu fncf !rfun pns nfgndnt. Ncfnstn n fust mnrfn fnpt n lun *umnfzfu , c nu n !fnnt cn un *umnfzfu pf pmnt, cn cn un ndf!rnt um. F,nst dunr punnn cnrf sunt n stnrf, s nflfng dnmfnsnunfn rfnl n ncfstfn fnptf. %f spunf nn- Nnsus 7rnstus nr fn putut pnfrdf! )n fnfcnrf um nr fn putut s nccfptf nspntflf %ntnnfn# ntuncn nu n-nr fn rfzul!nt mnsnunfn, n %ntnnn nr fn fust ctngturul! )f nr fn nsfmnnt ncfst lucru, nu putfn s ! mngnnnn! N fust un rnsc fnurm df mnrf, cnrf l-n nccfptnt Nnsus. Nnsus n rnscnt tutul - n n ctngnt tutul. Fl n rfunt! Fl n df!fnnt pudul ntrf "ntl n unmfnn. Fl putfn nfnrmn cu drfptntf- Fu sunt cnlfn! *umnfzfu nsun n dnt chfnn unmfnnnlur pfntru mprnn %n. *nr nu cu putfrfn ntutputfrnnc n *umnfzfntnn $un. Nu, umnl n-n urmnt lfgnlf pruprnn, s-n zntut cn um prnn nurunnnn dfns df rutntf sntnnnc, prnn mnncnun, nflcnunf n nspntf n prnn ncfnstn n putut Fl s snmt ntrfg rfpfrturnul n rulun pn ln nrutnlntntfn f,tfrnunr. Nn cum n fust df nfclnntnt, n putut s nn chfnlf dnn mnn %ntnnfn. Fnfcnrf um nrf n mnnnlf snlf chfnlf pfntru mprnn lun *umnfzfu. *nr drumul pn nculu, trfnunf s-l mfnrg fnfcnrf snngur! Fstf ncflnn drum, pf cnrf n mfrs n Nnsus 7rnstus- prnn nurunnnn rutnn sntnnncf, prnn nflcnunn, mnncnun n nspntf. Nncn ununn, cnrf !rfn s ctngf cfl mnn nnlt truffu, nu fstf scutnt df ncfstfn. &nn grfnn n grffln - sunt nurmnlf pf ncfst drum, n nnmfnn nu !n fncf !rfun rfpru. *umnfzfu tnf ncfstf grfutn, Fl nsun lf-n trnt! Fl nu snmtf nncnudnt furnf snu suprnrf. 2spunsurnlf %nlf sunt mnln, nflfgfrfn n rndnrfn. Nnsus fstf cnpnnnl s snmt, s suffrf mprfun cu tnnf, dnr nncnudnt nu !n udfcn. *rngustfn %n fstf mnlustn!nrfn f,nct ntt df nfmrgnnnt cum fstf Fl nsun. Fn mulumnt c nn n!ut !unf s trnftn ncfnst f,pfrnfn. "u !fn n!fn pf !nntur mnn mult grn n nu tf !fn schnmnn prfn uur. n tu !fn ncfrcn s nu mnn fn nn df ncrfzut n !fn ncfrcn s df!nn ct mnn umnl. *rngustfn n umnlnnn tf !ur scutn pf !nntur df nstffl df f,pfrnfnf. *umnfzfu nu tf-n cundus sprf nspnt, dnr Fl n ngdunt tuntf ncfstfn n n-n dnt nnsn s tf gndftn ln tnmp, nnnntf cn s df!n prfn sngur df tnnf, c s nu mnn fn putut !fdfn ntrfg ndf!rul. N urmnt u tcfrf ndflungnt. Fu mn-m rugnt n n-nm mulumnt lun *umnfzfu, c m-n dfsclcnt nf!tmnt, n c nm n!ut !unf s n! nttfn lucrurn. )nnf crfzn tu c tf-n snl!nt, dnn mnrnnrfn tn cu $ucnffr( Mnchnfl n ntrfrupt !nsflf mflf. *n - *umnfzfu, nnnfnflfs! Ndf!rnt, *umnfzfu fstf ncfputul, Fl fstf rspunztur pfntru tutul n pfstf tuntf. *nr Fl nu nfptunftf nncnudnt dnrfct pf pmnt. Fl n nfnnnnt n putfrfn %n mnrf lfgn cnrf !ur fn tut tnmpul n n ntrfgnmf !nlnnnlf, n pf cnrf nncn Fl nu lf ngnur. &rnn ncfnstn nu puntf un duh - dfcn n *umnfzfu - s nfptunnsc cf!n dnrfct n mntfrnf. *umnfzfu fstf dfntnstul, dnr cn s punt s scunt u msfn fstf nf!unf df un clftf, df u unfnlt. n cu tuntf c nu n-nr trfcf nnmnun prnn cnp, s n mulumfnsc clftflun, c n-n trns ntt df f,trnurdnnnr msfnun, fstf tutun nfcfsnr, ccn nncn cfl mnn nun dfntnst nu puntf fncf nnmnc fr fl. Nn nrf nf!unf n *umnfzfu df u unfnlt, ntuncn cnd Fl !rfn s nfptunnsc cf!n pf pmnt. 2ugcnunfn n mfdntnnn dfschnd drumul pfntru ncfnstn. Ntuncn nn fust tu(

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Nu! Mnchnfl n rs. n fu sunt un duh pur, n nu put fncf nnmnc dnrfct pf pmnt. Fu put s-n strfcur gndurn n put s tf cunduc n lnnntf pf drmul tu n prnn ncfnstn s tf mnn ndrfpt. Fu sunt n stnrf, s tf scutfsc df rflf, dnc tu trnftn pf ncffnn lungnmf cn mnnf n dnc m rugn. *nr n ncfnst sntunnf nu nn !rut s tnn nnmnc df mnnf. Nu, n fust Nnnndn 2nmn, cnrf tf-n flnnfrnt. "u n nducn nmnntf- Mnmn tn l-n !nsnt, n dunr cu mnrf ffurt n-nn pu!fstnt tu df fl. Ncfln, cnrf tf-n mpnns sprf ncfnstn, nm fust fu. *fcn, mnmn tn n fust ln Nnnndn n n-n pu!fstnt df stnrfn tn. Nnnndn s-n ucupnt df ndnt df tnnf. Fl n prfgtnt spnrntunl drumul, n rfunt, cn tu s n ungn n spntnl lng ncfn unmfnn, cnrf n-nu dfschns n sfrnt uchnn. Fl tf-n prutf nt df putfrnlf rflf, lf-n nnut dfpnrtf df tnnf. n fl tf-n prfdnt pf mnnnlf mflf, ntuncn cnd tu nn strngnt ln cfn mnn mnrf nnnnghnf dup mnnf. Nnr n urmnt u pnuz lung, cnrf mn-n fulusnt, s rfcfpnunfz cu snmul, dfunrfcf crfnfrul mfu funrtf mnc nu frn n stnrf. Nun sttfnm lng un mnc lnc, nruntflf cntnu, lnnflulflf znurnu n urul mfu, u !npfr sf trn lng mnnf prnn nnrn. 'rmnd un nmpuls, nm mngnnt-u. Fn mn-n mulumnt n s-n pus lng mnnf. Frn mnnunnt. ' nrunsc srfn, n pfntru prnmn unr nm unsf!nt- tuntf nnnmnlflf trnnu mprfun n lnnntf! Nncn unul nu sf dfrnn n pf nltul, nu sf mncnu rfcnpruc. )um sf hrnfsc ncfstf nnnmnlf( l-nm ntrfnnt fu pf Mnchnfl. Flf nu nu nf!unf df hrnn, Nncn nun nu n!fm nf!unf df hrnn. Nun trnm dnn ncfn lumnn n dnn putfrfn lun *umnfzfu, cnrf nf ncun unr pfrmnnfnt. )u tuntf ncfstfn mnn mncm n nun dnn cnd n cnd ctf cf!n. *f unncfn mncm fructf, cnrf sunt cultn!ntf n grdnnn spfcnnl nmfnn ntf. Flf ns nu nu rulul s nf ntrfnsc trupul. Nun mncm mprfun dnn cnuzn cumpnnnfn, dfunrfcf stm cu tunn mprfun. )hnnr n nnnmnlflf mnn mnnc dnn cnd n cnd fructf. % umunrf, cn s suprn!nfunnsc, ncfst lucru f,nst dunr dfpnrtf df *umnfzfu n nu sf mnn ntmpl ln fnnnf mnn nnltf. &fntru prnm unr, df mult tnmp ncuncf, nm fust fu dnn nuu ffrncnt. Fu nm stnt ct mnn nprunpf df nsunturul mfu n nm ndurmnt ndnc, cundus df sunftflf mnnunntf nlf psrnlur n df zgumutul prnftfnus nl !npfrfn. *fudnt n nprut tntn n fnn mfn. Fu nu nm putut s !urnfnsc df nttn nucurnf, lncrnmn curgfnu pfstf chnpul mfu, ntuncn cnd fu m-nm nflnt n nrnflf snlf. "u prustu mnc! )um nn putut dunr s crfzn u clnp, c fu tf-nm prsnt( Fu nu tf !un prsn nncnudnt, nttn tnmp ct !n durn !fnncnn. Fu mn-nm tfrmnnnt lucrul pf pmnt. Fu nm dnt drumul ln multf ln!nnf mncn. &f ntuncn nu prfn nm snmnt mult dnn ncfstfn. Fu frnm dfsfurn trnst n dnspfrnt, m-nm pus pf mnnf nsumn sun sfmnul ntrfnrnn. *nr df nncn put funrtf nnnf s lf !d dfz!ultnrfn. 'nflf nu df!fnnt ln!nnf ndf!rntf, nltflf mnn nu nf!unf df tnmp. Nltflf puntf nu nf!unf df funrtf mult tnmp. *nr nncn mfrgf nltffl tnmpul, n nfrndnrf f,nst dunr pf pmnt. Fu mn-nm tfrmnnnt lucrul pf pmnt. Fu nm sfmnnt rsndul mfu, s strupfsc n s lf rrfsc put df nncn mult mnn nnnf. Fu sunt nucurus n mulumnt, c "ntl nustru m-n lunt nnpun. Fu .lucrfz/ nncn mnn mult dfct nnnntf pf pmnt. *nr lucrul nncn nu fstf unusntur. % nn !unf s lucrfzn nncn fstf u nucurnf mnrf. Nncn nu fstf nnmfnn nf!unt cn s nnn succfs. Nncn dumnn pncfn n ffrncnrfn, nn cum nu s-nr putfn msurn ncfstf lucrurn pf pmnt. Nmn pnrf ru tnt, c nm fust df nfcunsulnt, c nm durnt s tf nturcn. Ncum m nucur mprfun cu tnnf, c nn n!ut !unf s plfcn. "f rug frumus s m nfrn. Fu nu trfnunf s-n nfrt nnmnc. "f rug s m scuzn tu pf mnnf, c tf-nm prsnt nn, dnn sfnnn. *nr fu crfd, c n pf !nntur !um putfn pftrfcf dfstul tnmp mprfun. Fu stnu n nn tut tnmpul lng tnnf, ln ffl cn n Mnchnfl. "u nn n uns df n funrtf dfpnrtf, n nu mnn fstf nf!unf df prfn multf, n !fn putfn fn nncn ln nun, ntuncn cnd tu durftn ncfnstn. Mnchnfl n !n putfn spunf mnn multf. Fu m nucur, c nu mnn ftn trnst. "f nunfsc. %uccfs, pf curnd. Fu m nflnm nc n nrnflf lun Mnchnfl. Fu nm !nsnt cu tntn. Mnchnfl n rs. "u nu nn !nsnt! $n nun nu f,nst nncn un ffl df tnmp snu spnnu. "u ftn nutumnt nculu, undf !rfn s fn. n-n fust dur df tntl tu n nn fust ntr-ndf!r ln fl. )u tuntf c fl sf nfl l cn!n nnn lumnn dnstnn. Nu nn unsfr!nt tu dnffrfnn( Nculu f,nst u cu tutul nltffl df !fgftnnf. Mnn punnf flurn, mnn punnf nnnmnlf pf pmnt, dnr n schnmn f,nst nfnumrnn cupncn nnln n psrn mnrn. &fnsn ul frn muntus, n cumpnrnnf cu cf frn nncn. *n - ncum mn nducfnm nmnntf. Nun nm mfrs s nf plnmnm dfpnrtf sun nntf snlcnn fnurmf, cnrf prfnu n fn un ncupfrn pfstf drumul nustru. n tutun nu n fust nncnundf ntunfrnc. $umnnn prfn s !nn df pfstf tut, chnnr n dnn pmnt. Nun nm urcnt n nm cunurt nfspus df multf dfnlurn n tutun nu n df!fnnt mfrsul unusntur. +ulturn mrfn lucunnu sus pf !rful muntflun. %f putfnu !fdfn funrtf nnnf. )hnnr n pfntru uchn nu f,nstn !rfu lnmnt. n - fu nm !zut sunrflf! *unr funrtf punn, dunr u rnz mnc pfstf cfl mnn nnlt muntf. *nr fu l-nm !zut. 2uu n fust cfrul n urul lun, cfl mnn frumus rsrnt, pf cnrf fu l-nm !zut !rfudnt. Mnchnfl n rs. Fu crfd c trfnunf s tf ducfm nnpun, ccn nltffl nu !um mnn scpn curnd df tnnf. Mnf nu mn s-n prut ntt df nmuznnt, dnr fu nm tnut c fl n!fn drfptntf. Frn dfstul df grfu, s put s suprn!nfunfsc n !nn. *nr trfnunn. Fu nm ncfput df nnnn ncum s prncfp, df nnnn ncum m-nm trfznt. Mnchnfl n prumns, s m cunduc pn ln cnpt, n - nun mnn n!fm nf!unf df tnnf, n mnn spus fl. Fu nu tnnm, cf !runn fl s spun cu ncfstf cu!nntf. 3

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"rfn znlf nn fust nncuntnfnt, cupnlul mfu. Mnmn sttfn lng mnnf n m nnfn df mn. Fu u nunfnm. &fntru prnmn dnt n !nnn mfn putfnm s spun cu nnnmn mpcnt, c fu u nunfnm. Nnnnntf m-n custnt mult ffurt n m-nm snlnt fnurm. Ncum frn funrtf uur. $ncrnmn curgfnu pfstf unrn nn fn. *ucturnn nu !rut df n s rfnunf ln tnnf, dnr fu nm tnut c tu !fn rfun. Nnnndn 2nmn mn-n spus. "u !fn durmn un tnmp ndflungnt n tf !fn trfzn cumplft rffcut. n ntr-ndf!r. Fu nu mnn n!fnm ffnr, fu nu m mnn snmfnm unusnt n f,tfnunt. &fntru ducturn frnm u fnngm. Fn m-nu f,tfrnnt dnn spntnl duu znlf mnn trznu. Mnmn mn-n spus dunr un ultnmn clnp. Fn df nnnn n putut s rustfnsc cu!nntflf. &rnntrf lncrnmn s-n nlnntFu nu put s tf nnu dnn nuu ncns. Fu trfnunf dunr s lucrfz ncum. Frn cn u lu!ntur n fn. *nr df dntn ncfnstn nm putut s nnu sfntnmfntflf df furnf n dfznmgnrf- nncnudnt nu mnn !runnm s m mputrn!fsc, nncnudnt nu mnn durfnm s pun sun sfmnul ntrfnrnn dfstnnul mfu. Nntrndf!r, frn u lu!ntur crunt. *nr fu tnnm n fnptul, c mnmn mfn frn snncfr cu mnnf. &fntru prnmn unr fu nm snmnt, c fn m-nr fn n!ut cu drng prnn prfn m. "rnstffn fn frn ndf!rnt. n nucurnn dnn ncfnst prncnn nr fn trfnunt s nmflnurfzf durfrfn mfn. n ncfst lucru s-n n ntmplnt. Frn unrf ncfst lucru u ln!nn df-n tntlun mfu( Mnmn mn-n prumns n urncf cnz, c m !n !nzntn dfs, c nu m !n lsn snngur. %-n crfnt u sntunnf nuu, n ncfput un nlt cnpntul. Nducfn cu snnf nfsngurnnn, dnr n nun pusnnnlntn. Mnn n!fm nf!unf df tnnf, n spus Mnchnfl. 3 )mnnul nu prfn prfn frumus. ' cldnrf !fchf df crmnzn cu fnndn snnnstr, snmplu, utnl n punn drpnnt. *nr nculu frn lnnntf n dfpnrtf df unmfnn ntr-un pfnsn mnnunnt. Frn ncfputul !frnn, n nun nm trfcut prnntr-u nlff df lnlnfcn pn ln cns. Mnrusul lnlnnculun s-n rspndnt pfstf tut, psrn f,nstnu multf, prfcum n fluturn n flurn. 'n pnrc mnrf cu cupncn ntrnn, n fundnl rul, un ndf!rnt pfnsn nl pnrndnsulun. *nr cf!n nu frn n urdnnf. *f n df ln punrtn prnncnpnl, fu nm unsfr!nt ncfst lucru. Nm df!fnnt nflnnntnt, dnr nu nfrncunt. Fu m-nm mnrnt, dfunrfcf snmfnm nmfdnnt nlt dnt ncfl sfntnmfnt df frnc. n df n nm !zut. Fn sf furnnu n spntflf pumnlur, sf nscundfnu, uculfnu lumnnn. 'mnrflf nu nprut nnrn! %f nflnu n urul cnsfn cn !nfspnn n urul rfgnnfn df stup. Fu nm snmnt mnn lun Mnchnfl pf nrnul mfu. % nu-n fnf frnc, nu put s-n fnc nncn un ru. Fu tnnm ncfst lucru n frnm plnn df ndf df. Nun mnn n!fm nf!unf df tnnf, n spus Mnchnfl. )f n !rut s spun unrf cu ncfnst nfnrmnnf( 0n ncfst cmnn frnu n mnrfn mn urntntf surdu-mun n hnndncnpnn. Mnn f,nstnu n cupnn hnndncnpnn mnntnln, prnntrf ncftnn cn!n mungulunzn. Mungulunsmul fstf df fnpt, c unn dnn gfnf, cnrf fstf rspunztunrf pfntru stnnnlnrfn cflulflur, sf mpnrtf df duu urn, nn c n luc s f,nstf dunr duu nstffl df gfnf, f,nst trfn. 'nmfnnn nutrn df tnnn nu nnnlnznt ncfst dfffct curpurnl pn n cfl mnn mnc dftnlnu. Fn tnu cu f,nctntntf, c fstf !urnn df gfnn duuzfcn n unu, dfunrfcf ncfnst nunl n prnmnt numflf ."rnsumnf 41/. Nnc u nlt mutnlnnf .fr rust/ nr spunf unmfnnn nutrn df tnnn. Nh, dnr dnc nr cfrcftn tut ntt df ntfnt cnuzn spnrntunl, ntuncn puntf c nr n ungf fn ln un rfzultnt. Fu cfl punn nu m !d cn u mutnlnt /fr rust/. )mnnul frn cundus df mncuf cntulncf, dnn urdnnul frnncnscnn, nnr ncfstfn lucunn dunr ln cn!n mftrn dfprtnrf ntr-u mnstnrf. *f mnstnrf npnrnnfn u nnsfrnc mnnunnt, cnrf nrtn cn mnnnnturn cntrfdnlfn nnruc, pf cnrf fu nm !zut-u mprfun cu tnt n urn. )u tuntf c pf dnn nfnr prfn dfstul df dfrpnnt, frn n nntfrnur ntr-u stnrf dfstul df nun. 'n mnrf numr df sfnnn ucup lucul df pf zndul f,tfrnur, tn!nnul rutund frn dumnnnt df pncturn, nlf crur culurn nlndf n mntf du!fdfnu c nu nu mnn trfnunt s supurtf df mult tnmp u rfstnurnrf. "utul frn ncrcnt cu urnnmfntf sculptntf, nnr drngustfn sf putfn snmfn pur n snmplu nc, prnn cnrf n fust cunstrunt ncfnst nnsfrnc ntr-u !rfmf, undf mnn f,nstn tnmp, undf *umnfzfu nu frn u fngur sfcundnr, undf Fl frn df fnpt cfntrul !nfnn. 'ndf mnrf mn urntntf n tnmpulun n-n fust dfdncnt $un, undf cnsn %n ntrfcfn nc cflflnltf cnsf n frumusff n mnfstrnf n nu dnn cnuzn utnlntnn n snmplntnn n fnn urncrfn culnnf n fust nfznt n umnr. *nr trfnun s fn fust u !rfmf, n cnrf dumnnn frncn. &ncturnlf pf pfrfn n pf tn!nn lsnu lnmpfdf s sf nflfng ncfst lucru. Frnu stpnntf df mnrflf .*umnfzfu fulgfrtur/, cnrf prfn cu tunt putfrfn %n n cu utnlf %nlf df ngfrn mnn dfgrnn cn un cumnndnnt df lupt, cnrf frn prfgtnt, s nruncf sprf n fn pr nn n nnd pf cfn nfcrfdnncnun. *f pf chnpul multur sfnnn sf putfn !fdfn ncfst fnpt. *nr duu fngurn prfnu plnnf df drngustf, nn cum fstf df fnpt fnnnn lun *umnfzfu- Mnrnn n npustulul Nunn. &f chnpurnlf lur nu sf !fdfn nncn u trstur df frnc. )rucfn dnn ncpfrfn nltnrulun, sun cnrf fn ngfnunchnnu, strlucfn pfstf tuntf. Ntuncn cnd sunrflf dnmnnfnn strlucfn prnn ffrfnstr, lumnnn ntr-u culunrf nurnf n strlucfn ln ffl cn sunrflf pn n cflf mnn ndfprtntf culurn. )hnnr n 7rnstus nsun strlucfn. Fl nu ntrnn cn .murt/ pf crucf, nn cum sf puntf !fdfn dfsfurn. )urpul $un puntf c n fust nfnsuflfnt, dnr Fl strlucfn. Fl n fust ctngturul, Fl n n!nns munrtfn, ndnc munrtfn spnrntunl, nf-n flnnfrnt cu tutul df $ucnffr n n df!fnnt un pud sprf "ntl. Nrtnstul prfn s fn tnut tuntf ncfstfn. )n ntr-u cnrtf sf putfn cntn n ncfst Nnsus. Fl fmnnn u putfrf n u sngurnn, nn cum fu nu nm mnn ntlnnt nn cf!n pn ncum. Nncnudnt nu nm !zut fu n ncfnst nnsfrnc !rfu umnr. Frn df pnrc nr fn fust 7rnstus prfzfnt n prfn pnrc, c pf tun cnrf sf rugnu nncn n ndncfn n !nnrnnnlf %nlf. "unurnlf nrgnntnn dnr tutun mun nlf urgnn mfcnnncf nnruc, cnrf n fn nu n trfnunt s fnf rfstnurnt, nccfntun ncfst fffct n !r fn prc u stnrf nprunpf cfrfnsc. Nncn un tun nf frn prfn tnrf, nncn unul prfn dfplnsnt, nncn un sunft nf ln luculun lun nu dfrnn n slu nn. *rgstus n nlnd sf mncnu ncfstf sunftf prnn ncpfrfn, cnrf susnnfn

41

cu furmn sn !nnrnnnlf n lf rutun fn. )hnnr n cunstrucnn nu n putut s sf cunstrunnsc dnn grffnl. Mnftrnn df cunstrucnf nu tunt prunnnnl ncfstf lucrurn, fn frnu nntrudun n lumfn !nnrnnnlur n n nrmunnfn. Nncn un cul nu dnstrugfn !nnrnnnlf rugcnunnn. Furmn frn ntt df pfrffct cn u mnu. %f nsfmnnu !nnrnnnlf nrmunncf, cu cflf cnrf lf-nm trnt fu dfsurn cu Mnchnfl. Nncnundf nu nm fust fu pf pmnt mnn ffrncnt dfct n ncfnst nnsfrnc. )u tutul nltffl frn n cmnn. Muln frnu ncun urnn df umnrf, cnrf sf nnfnu dup fn cn lnpnturnlf n n nsufnu zn n nunptf. %cfnn frn ct sf puntf df grunznnc. Fu frnm funrtf spfrnnt dnn ncfnst cnuz, dfunrfcf pn ncum fu nu nm mnn putut unsfr!n nstffl df lucrurn. &n ncum nm putut dunr s snmt, dnc un um fmnnn !nnrnnn nunf snu rflf. Ncum trfnunn s rfcunusc, c dfsurn frnu ncfstf umnrf, cnrf schnmnnu !nnrnnnlf. )u ct mnn multf frnu n urul unun um, cu ntt mnn mult m snmfnm rfspnns df fl, cu ntt mnn tnrf m nnmfrnu !nnrnnnlf snlf, cu tuntf c umnrflf nu prfnu nncnudnt c !ur s m ntncf pf mnnf. 'mnrflf prfnu, c nncn nu sf nntfrfsfnz df mnnf. Multf dnn sururn frnu drguf, dnr f,nstnu dunr duu, cnrf m-nu nccfptnt pf mnnf ntru tutul, nn cum n fcut-u surn Nfnfdnctn. Ncfstf duu sururn frnu n flf lnnfrf df nstffl df umnrf. +nnrnnnlf lur frnu dfschnsf n purf. Nculu undf frnu flf, rspndfnu lnnntfn n pncfn. )hnnr n cupnnn, cnrf frnu tut tnmpul nflnnntnn, rfncnunnu ln ncfstf !nnrnnn. 0n prfzfnn lur nu prfn f,nstn cfnrt snu nfnflfgfrn, flf lf nmflnurnu df n df ln ncfput. Nu n susnnfnu nncnudnt drfptntfn, flf nu trfnunnu s fnf n!nngtunrf ntr-u cfnrt, putfnu s sf rftrng umnlf, fr s pnnrd n fnn lur nsun fnn. Frnu ntt df tnrn n snnf, c nu mnn lf frn nfcfsnr nnmnc dnn f,tfrnur. )u tnmpul, cnd fu putfnm df n s m unt mnn ndnc n nnmnlf lur, tnnm n mutn!ulNdnc n nntfrnurul lur nrdfn u lumnn, cnrf strlucfn pfstf tut nuntrul. Ncfn lumnn frn nsun 7rnstus. Flf snu prfdnt cu tutul n ncfn lumnn, nu prnmnt-u fr fzntrn. &rnn fnptul c ful pruprnul , pruprnnlf lur durnnf lfnu nnunt, putfn s strlucfnsc ntt df tnrf ncfnst lumnn. Flf nu rfnunnt ln tutul, nu mnn frnu prnnsf df nnmnc. Nnnnn, mnrcmnntfn, mncnrfn, prfstngnul, fnnmn, durnnf lumftn, lf tuntf lf-nu dnt drumul n prnn ncfnstn nu ctngnt flf cu mult mnn mult. Flf n!fnu !unf s sf tupfnsc cu fnnnn ncflfn lumnnn. Flf nu mnn trfnunnu s cuntrulfzf sfntnmfntflf df ur, furnf n suprnrf. Ncfstf sfntnmfntf nncn nu mnn f,nstnu n flf, nu mnn gsfnu nnmnc, n cnrf s punt lucun. Nn nu df!fnnt ncfstf duu surf nsun drngustfn. $nnntfn ndnc, nntfrnunr n sngurnnn frnu dfstul sprn nn, flf nu mnn n!fnu nf!unf df nltcf!n n frnu lnnfrf prnn ncfnstn, s drunnsc tutul, s fmnnf fr ntrfruprf drngustfn lur. Ndf!rntn drngustf nu fstf cn u lumnnrf, cnrf sf cunsum n sf sncrnfnc. $umnnn drngustfn strlucftf prnn drunrf dunr mnn tnrf. *f!nnf cn un sunrf cnrf nu sf stnngf nncnudnt, cnrf crftf tut tnmpul n df!nnf mnn strlucntur, sf hrnftf dnn lumnnn !fnnc, dnn sunrflf df !fcn n lun *umnfzfu. *rngustfn ncfstur surf nu sf rftrgfn nncn df ln cfn, cf trfnunnu s trnnsc cu nttfn umnrf n urul lur. Nu sf rftrgfnu df lng ncftnn. Nu trfnunnu s sf npfrf n nntfrnur, flf putfnu nnsunrnf ncflf ngrfsnunn n putfnu s lf trnnsfurmf n drngustf. n df fnfcnrf dnt sf cutrfmurnu ncflf umnrf, n pnfrdfnu fchnlnnrul n pncnu n ndncurn snu frnu dntf ln u pnrtf. Mn urntntfn dnntrf cflflnltf surf frnu n flf drguf n prnftfnunsf. Frnu tut tnmpul prfgtntf cn s n utf n s nlnnf. N df!fnnt slu nn lur, s nnn grn df nun, n nuu nu nf lnpsfn nnsulut nnmnc. Flf fcfnu tutul cf putfnu. *nr frn dnfncnl pfntru flf, s fnf tunt znun drguf. 'nflf frnu cfl punn mnn nnnf prutf ntf. %pnnul lur df fnfrgnf rmnfn cfl punn stnnnl. Ngrfsnunfn snu suprnrfn sf uprfn nculu cn ntr-u uglnnd, dnr nu frnu schnmnntf n drngustf, cn rmnfnu cn u fnfrgnf nfgntn! n ncpfrf. *nr mn urntntfn dnntrf ncflf surf nu n!fnu ncfnst prutfcnf. )mpul lur df fnfrgnf nu frn stnnnl, frn cn u tun df mnnn, cnrf n!fn u gnur. 'mnrflf nnsurnfnu tutul cu mnrf puft. %f putfn !fdfn tut tnmpul un ru df fnfrgnf, cnrf cn un curdun umnnlncnl spnrntunl sf ntnndfn prnn ncpfrf. n nu numnn pruprnnlf umnrf frnu prfzfntf cn nntf mncn !nmpnrn, n cflf nlf cupnnnlur sttfnu n nnsurnfnu tutul cu mnrf puft. Flf prfnu s crfnsc n prfnu s df!nn cum!n mnn ngrfsn!f, mnn !nn n ncfpfnu s trncnsfzf cupnnn n mnn tnrf. Nn sf nfnnnn u sntunnf pnrndu,, c n urul unfn surf nmnnnlf frn dunr nflnnntf, cfnrt n nn!ndnf. Ncflf surf frnu .mncntf/ df mfsfrnn lur! 0n ndf!rntul sfns nl cu!ntulun! *nc cun!n n sf nn tut tnmpul fnfrgnn, trfnunf s df!nn unusnt. Ncfstf surf frnu cn nntf lumnrn. n flf fmnnnu lumnn, cldur, dnr sf prpdfnu prnn ncfnstn! Flf nu nu prnmnt n snnf nc lumnnn !fnnc, cnrf pruducf fr pnuz fnfrgnf nuu. $f lnpftf ncrfdfrfn pfntru ncfnstn. $umnnn puntf s-u prnmfnsc dunr ncfln, cnrf n rfnunnt cu tutul ln snnf, cnrf n dnt drumul ln tut cf fstf mntfrnnl. n ncfst nct df munc pruprnf, nfcfsnt mult curn n ncrfdfrf. *nr ntuncn df!nnf dnn crfdnn cununtfrf. Fu crfd n *umnfzfu df!nnf Fu tnu, c "u f,ntn. Ncfstn fstf pnsul cfl mnn nmpurtnnt. Nncunftunrfn, cnrf nchndf ncfn u, fstf frncn! Frncn, s rfnunn ln tutul, pfntru c nu sf tnf, c mnn trznu nu stnn pur n snmplu n pustnu, snngur n prsnt. Frncn, s rfnunn ln pruprnul tu Fu, pfntru c nu sf tnf, cf sf prnmftf n schnmn. Frncn, s rfnunn ln !nznnnlul mntfrnnl, pfntru c nu fstf df ncrfdfrf cf!n cf nu sf !fdf, spnrntunlul, dfunrfcf nu sf puntf !fdfn. Frncn, c nu !n f,nstn tutun un *umnfzfu! Ncfnstn fstf rscrucfn nmpurtnnt n f,nstfnfn nunstrf. Ntuncn cnd nun nm n uns ln u, nu nf mnn puntf n utn nnmfnn. Nun nnnf, n dunr nun, putfm n trfnunf s dfschndfm ncfn ncunftunrf. Fnfcnrf, cnrf cnut, fstf cundus pn nncn, fnfcnrf, cnrf cfrf, nu trfnunf s mfnrg snngur ncfst drum. *nr ncfn nchunftunrf, trfnunf s-u dfschnd snngur. Fr n utur! Fl nsun trfnunf s-n n!nng tfnmn. Fl trfnunf s spun- *n, fu crfd, fu tnu, c "u f,ntn! Fu tnu c "u f,ntn n fu tnu c "u ftn funrtf nun. Fu tnu! Nu, pfntru c tf-nm !zut, nu, pfntru fnptul c mn-nn nrtnt mnnunnn, nu, pfntru c "u nu mn-nn lsnt prnntr-un mnrncul u nlt nlfgfrf. Nu - fu tnu

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ncfnstn pur n snmplu, pfntru c snmt, c "u trfnunf s f,ntn, pfntru c fu snmt drngustfn pf cnrf u fmnnn "u. Fu tnu ncfnstn pur n snmplu, n fu tf nunfsc *umnfzfulf! Frncn fstf cfl mnn mnrf nlnnt n lun %ntnnn. Fl u mfnnnf dup putfrnlf snlf, ccn un cnrf fstf nchns dnn ncfnst cnuz, fstf df fnpt punrtn sprf lnnfrtntf, cnrf lns n urmn sn pf !fcn mprnn lun %ntnnn. Ntuncn cnd un sf nchndf n urmn tn, nu mnn nrf fl nncn u putfrf, ncnnflf snlf sunt dunr nrfnlf. Ncfln, cnrf st n fnn unn, fstf cuprnns mnn nc u dnt uur df fl n fstf dnn nuu trns punn n ndncurn. )nd nn trfcut df ncfn u, ntuncn nn rfunt. Muln stnu nnn ntrfgn n fnn ncflfn un. Fn sunt dfstul df putfrnncn, s sf ffrfnsc df ntncurnlf lun %ntnnn, dnr fn nu nu curn ul, s dfschnd ncunftunrfn. $f fstf frnc s rfnunf ln .fgu-ul/ lur, pf cnrf l-nu nprnt cu grn n cnrf lf-n ndus n uchnn lumnn cnnstf n sln!. Fn sf tfm, pfntru c nu put crfdf, c ndf!rntn putfrf sf nfl n duh - trupul sf !fstf ftf n nn n cn!n nnn. *fznmgnn n dfspncnn n nntfrnurul lur sf nturc fn dnn drum, pfsc pf trfptf n us, n cnut ffrncnrfn n sngurnnn mntfrnnl n nu nf!unf ntuncn ndfsfurn df funrtf mult tnmp, pn cf fn n ung nnrn ln prngul duhulun. Fn sf nsfnmn cu u lumnnrf, cnrf nu sf lns nprnns, dnn prncnnn frncnn, c fn sf dnstrugf nstffl. Numnn - ln cf fulusftf fn ntuncn( Fn sf nsfnmn cu u smn df rsnd, cnrf nu sf lns pus n pmnt, pfntru c fn trfnunf ntuncn s rfnunf ln nndfntntntfn fn. *nr tucmnn numnn prnn ncfnstn puntf fn s nduc rundf ultfrnunrf, cnrf punrt !nnn fn mnn dfpnrtf, n cnrf fn puntf s trnnsc spnrntunl mnn dfpnrtf. $n cf fstf fn nltffl df fulus( Fn puntf s sf nn nc cn!n nnn, sf ufnlftf, putrfzftf n munrf ntuncn. Ncfnst murnrf urmfnz, cf-n drfpt, mnn muln nnn mnn trznu, dfct dnc fn nr fn sfmnnt, dnr ncfnst murnrf fstf dffnnntn!. 0ntr-un cnz nducf munrtfn fn !nn nuu ln n!fnl, n cfllnlt cnz fstf fn munrt. %ururnlf ncfstur duu grupurn n lunu putfrfn lur dnn rugcnunf. 2ugcnunfn fstf furmn f,tfrnunr, cnrf fncf pusnnnl cunfctnrfn nntfrnunr cu lumnnn dnn ncfputurn n lun *umnfzfu. Fu putfnm !fdfn ndfsfn, cum uscnlnnnlf rugcnunnn l nfurnu pf dfplnn pf cfl cnrf sf rugn, sf punfnu prutfctur n urul lun. )um flf ptrund trupul pf dfplnn. 'scnlnnnlf nnltf nlf unfn rugcnunn pnsnunntf, cnrf !nnf ntr-ndf!r df ln nnnm, put s trnnsfurmf n sus uscnlnnnlf unsf nlf trupulun ntr-u sffr mult mnn nnlt, .sf lf ndfprtfzf/. 2ugcnunfn curftf uscnlnnn pruprnf, nn nct umul fstf n stnrf, s prfnn fnfrgnn nnlt, curnt n lun *umnfzfu. Fstf f,nct cn n ln rndnuu. 'n npnrnt df rndnu prust nu puntf nnnf dnstnngf frfc!fnflf dnstnnctf, sunt tutdfnunn sunftf sfcundnrf n sunftf df dfrnn df fn. Nntrfngn .murdrnf/ fstf prflunt n nnrn rfdnt. 2ugcnunfn fstf fnltrul df dfsprnrf. )u ct mnn nntfnsn!, cu ct mnn umnl, cu ct mnn plnn df drngustf fstf fn, cu ntt mnn nnnf funcnunfnz fl, cu ct mnn mult .murdrnf/ ndfprtfnz fl prnn fnltru, cu ntt mnn curnt n prfnuns fstf fnfrgnn, pf cnrf u lns fl s trfnc. )t df muln sf mulumfsc cu murdrnn! n sf mnr ntuncn, df cf .muturul/ lur nu funcnunfnz cum trfnunf, df cf sf nlnnf fl cuntnnuu n sf uprftf, df cf trfnunf fn cuntnnuu s mfnrg n .ntflnfrul df rfpnrnnn/, pfntru n-l punf nnrn n funcnunf. Funrtf rfpfdf nm rfcunscut fu, cf nnnfcu!ntnrf fstf rugcnunfn pfntru ncfnn, cnrf crfd n ncfnstn smfrnn n plnnn df ncrfdfrf. n cupnnn, n crur sntunnf frn cfn mnn rfn, nu df!fnnt n tnmpul rugcnunnn cfl mnn ndfsfn funrtf lnnntnn. 'scnlnnn $un n pnrnlnznt umnrflf. Flf mfrgfnu cu tnmpul cn fnnnf f,tfnuntf ln !nctnmflf lur, dn, flf trfnunnu ndfsfn s sf dfprtfzf pf dfplnn. 0n nnsfrncn ncfnstn n mnstnrnn n-nm !zut fu nncnudnt umnrf n cuntrnrnu cu nltf nnsfrncn pf cnrf lf cunutfnm. Furmn fn, fngurnlf fn, nmngnnnlf, nrmunnn, cldurn n prutfcnn fn, pf cnrf fn lf fmnnn, furmn u uscnlnnf ntt df curnt n cumprnmnt - fn frn pfntru umnrf df nfptruns. ' rugcnunf ntr-u nstffl df mprf urnmf fstf nc cu mult mnn ffncnfnt, n sf nmulftf putfnnnl nc u dnt, dnc muln sf rung mprfun. ' uscnlnnf nn df nmfns trfcf pur n snmplu prnn nzulnturul, cnrf sf nfl ntrf um n *umnfzfu, curfntul puntf s curg lnnfr. 'n .fnur df fmunf/ sf ducf pf spntf n us. Ncfnstn fstf fnfrgnn cnrf sf rf!nrs n nun prnn culunnn !frtfnrnl, ncfnstn fstf hrnnn duhu!nncfnsc, cnrf nlnmfntfnz cfntrflf nunstrf df fnfrgnf. $n hrnnn fnznc pfntru trupul nustru tnf ncfnstn fnfcnrf- cu ct mnn curnt fstf hrnnn, cu ct mnn punnf sunstnnf df dffurn cunnnf fn, cu ct mnn punn .murdrnf/, cu ntt mnn nun, cu ntt mnn df mnn mnrf !nlunrf fstf fn. "ut nn stnu lucrurnlf n cu .hrnnn duhu!nncfnsc/. Numnn c ncfnstn fstf mult mnn nmpurtnnt pfntru sntntf n pfntru cnpncntntfn df rnndnmfnt, dfct hrnnn trupfnsc. *f cf sf mulumfsc nncn nn df muln cu .murdrnn/( F,nstnu n unflf sururn, cnrf frnu tut tnmpul prust dnspusf, ntrtntf n nunntunrf df cfnrt n fr drngustf. )n mgnrn df crnt ducfnu flf umnrflf lur cu flf. )fl mnn ru frn cnzul ln ndmnnnstrntunrf. Frn u snngur mnsc ntunfcnt, cnrf fnfrnfn nculu n ntfptn, s-n ncurn fzf nnrn !nctnmflf sprf .fnptf/ nun. Ncfstf umnrf nu sunt ntr-ndf!r n stnrf, s nfptunnsc snngurf fnptflf lur rflf. Flf nu nf!unf df cnnf!n, cnrf fncf ncfnstn pfntru flf. "untf mncnlf gfluznn n nntrngn, luptflf sfcrftf pfntru putfrf, dumnnn dfschns n ngrfsnunfn, ur, furnf, mnnf, mnncnun n dnstrugfrf sfr!fsc ncfstur umnrf pfntru sturnrfn snmurnlur lur dfgfnfrntf. Flf sf sntnsfnc n lcumnn !nctnmfn lur n u ndfnmn nfstulf sprf tuntf pntnmnlf n !ncnnlf, nlcul, lcumnf df sn!urnrf, sf,unlntntf n tuntf !nrnnnnlf, dfpfndfn df drugurn n df tnnlftf, tuntf ncfstfn sunt lucrurn, cnrf trnnsfurm fnfrgnn curnt *umnfzfnfnsc n fnfrgnf nfgntn!, dnstrugtunrf. Nu unsfr!, nndnr, ncftn unmfnn df luc, cum fn nu rfnunnt ln lnnfrtntfn lur, cum fn s-nu fcut scln!n - df nun !unf u mnngf df uc nlf putfrnlur rulun( *nc fn nr putfn !fdfn, cum ncfstf umnrf sf nucur df fnfcnrf ncnunf rfunt, lur lf-nr fn ru dnn cnuzn scrnfn! )nnstf n rfnumf, dup ncfstf lucrurn sf strdunftf nstzn ntrfngn lumf, stpnnrf pfstf ct sf puntf df muln nlnn. $n ncfnstn nu nu cfn mnn muln nncn mcnr putfrf pfstf fn nnn. Nuturfnlnznrfn fstf mnrfn df!nz! Ncfnstn sf cnut pfstf tut, n snngurtntf, n dnscutfc, n rn strnnf - nu ln snnf nsun. )um put fu nndnr s m nuturfnlnzfz, dnc funcnunfz cn un runut n urmfz cumnntf tuturur nntrngnlur nlf putfrnlur rulun( Nnmfnn nu lf fstf nfn uturnt lsnt prnd! Fnfcnrf puntf s sf mputrn!fnsc! Nrmflf sunt !unn n rugcnunfn - n ngfrul mfu, cnrf mfrgf tcut nlturn df mnnf n ntfnpt numnn fnptul, cn fu s-n dnu n sfrnt frul !nfnn mflf lun n

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mn, cn fl s m punt ndrumn n cunducf - nu n scln!ngnf, cum prftnnd ntt df muln nnt ucurnturn, nu- n lnnfrtntf! Numnn c lnnfrtntfn nu nsfnmn, s pun fncf urncf !rfn tu. $nnfrtntfn nsfnmn s pun fncf tutul, cf fstf putrn!nt. +unnn nunstr fstf mult prfn tnrf nnflufnnt dnn tuntf prnlf pusnnnlf. "untf uscnlnnnlf nlf cflurlnln unmfnn n cflf nlf putfrnlur rulun u nnflufnfnz. *f-nnnn cnd nun !um prflun !unn lun *umnfzfu, suntfm nun ntr-ndf!r lnnfrn. Fl pusfd snngurn !unn lnnfr, nfnnflufnnt df tun cfnlnln, n fnfcnrf fstf nstffl cu fl, cnrf fstf dnspus, s nduptf !unn $un. n sururnlf ncfstun ultnm grup sf rugnu, tut nn cn n cflflnltf. 0n f,tfrnur nu frn nncn u dnffrfn df rfmnrcnt. *nr ct df nnnf, c cfn mnn muln nu sf put untn n nnnm! Fstf df nfnchnpunt, ln cf ffl df lucrurn sunt unnn n stnrf s sf gndfnsc pf lng rugcnunf. Nmnrcmnntfn curnt puntf s nscund unflf lucrurn# nmpurtnnt fstf ns, cum nrnt stnrfn pf dfdfsunt. 3 Ncfnstn n fust dfcn nmprf urnmfn mfn nuu pfntru tnmpul urmtur. Fu frnm nnnf ntrfnnut, sururnlf n ddfnu ntr-ndf!r tunt snlnnn. 'nn dnntrf flf m-n n!nt chnnr s n cntfsc. Fn putfn funrtf ndnc s sf trnnspun n nntfrnurul mfu n n unsfr!nt rfpfdf, c fu nr trfnun s fnu n stnrf df ncfnstn. Fu nm n n!nt ncfnstn funrtf rfpfdf, numnn c fu n!fnm tut tnmpul nf!unf df cnnf!n, cnrf s-mn ntunrc pngnnnlf, fnnndc pfntru nn cf!n nu frnu mnnnlf mflf n stnrf. *nr nun frnm u mnrf cumunnntntf, undf fnfcnrf l n utn pf cfllnlt, nn df nnnf pf ct putfn. N fust u mnrf nnugnrf pfntru mnnf. Fu nm unsfr!nt ncun, c multf lucrurn mn frnu pf dfplnn strnnf. *nc nm n!ut pn ncum df n dfstulf ucnznn, s m n! n rndnrf, ntuncn fu trfnunn ncum ntr-ndf!r s nnsul!fsc un curs df mnftrnn. *f fnfcnrf dnt, cnd fu tfrmnnnsfm df cntnt u pngnn, trfnunn fu s ntfpt, pn !fnfn cnnf!n, cnrf mn nturcfn pngnnn. Fu n!fnm, cf-n drfpt, u sunfrnf, cu cnrf m putfnm fncf unsfr!nt, dnr fu nu !runnm n nncn un cnz s-n tnrnnnzfz pf cfnlnln n u fulusfnm numnn n cnzul df strnct nfcfsntntf. Nn nm ntfptnt fu tucmnn df fnfcnrf dnt rndtunrf, pn cf !fnfn cnnf!n, chnnr dnc frn ct sf puntf df nntfrfsnnt# n pfntru mnnf frn tutul nntfrfsnnt. *nr fu tnnm n fnptul, c frn u mnlustn!nrf nfnt dnn cumun, s nm !unf s nnsul!fsc un nsfmfnfn curs nntfnsn! n rndnrf. Fstf cn ln tuntf cflflnltf. Nttn tnmp ct tf nfln nuntru n trfnunf s tf ustfnftn, sunt multf lucrurn snmntf cn fnnnd suprtunrf. *nc ns nn trfcut n nn rfzul!nt u prunlfm, ftn nucurus, c nn nnrunt-u, c nn putut s rfzntn, pfntru n fn mnn nugnt cu u f,pfrnfn. n cu smfrfnnn n mfrs ln ncfput nc funrtf grfu. M custn mult n!nngfrf df snnf, s m lns nfnt, mnrcnt n hrnnt df sururn strnnf, s nccfpt nfn uturnrfn mfn. Funrtf grfu n fust ntuncn, cnd fu cunstntnm ln unflf, c flf fcfnu ncfnstn numnn cu snl, c nstn npnrnnfn, cf-n drfpt, df muncn lur, c sf scrnfnu ns df mnnf. Ncfnstn u puntf unsfr!n df nltffl fnfcnrf. %crnn fstf un funrtf nntfns sfntnmfnt. Ncfnstn nu sf lns nscuns, n nu fstf nf!unf df multf, s pun snmn ncfst sfntnmfnt, n fr s fnn !nznunnr. )hnnr dnc ncfrcnrfn fstf nntfprnns, s u nscunzn n f,tfrnur, ncfnstn fufnz cfl mnn ndfsfn. Nu fstf frumus s snmn, c nlnn sf scrnfsc df tnnf. Ncfnstn fstf nn df umnlntur. *nr cfn mnn muln nu sunt df!nn df ncfst lucru. Fn sunt prnzunnfrn nn sfntnmfntflur lur. )nnf puntf, unrf, s snr pfstf umnrn sn( N fust grfu pfntru mnnf, n nsfmfnfn sntunnn s nu m gndfsc- tu pun, cf-n drfpt, s tf scrnftn df mnnf, n fu trfnunf s m prfdnu nfn uturnt nf, dnr duhu!nncfsc m nflu fu tutun mult pfstf tnnf. $uptf lungn trfnunn fu s n cu mnnf nsumn. *nr, nsfrnt, nznutnsfm fu tutun. N fust !ncturnn cfn mnn grfn, dnr cfn mnn nmpurtnnt. )nnf sf nnl pf snnf, sf !n smfrn. Nnsus n-n spus ncfnstn, pfntru n-n nlnntn pf cfn mncn n srncn. Nu - Fl nf-n pus cu ncfnstn unn dnntrf chfnlf sprf mprnn cfrurnlur n mn. Nngmfnrf duhu!nncfnsc fstf cfl mnn ru dumnn pf ncfnst cnlf. Fu nsumn nm trnt ncfnstn. Fstf u f,pfrnfn, pf cnrf fnfcnrf trfnunf s-u fnc udnt, df cnrf nu fstf nnmfnn scutnt. Ncfnstn fstf unn dnntrf cflf mnn nmpurtnntf f,pfrnfnf, dnr dnn pcntf n unn, pf cnrf dfsfurn u unn nnrn funrtf uur. Nngmfnrfn fstf rdncnnn n tut rul. %ntnn n czut, pfntru c fl n df!fnnt ngmfnt. Nngmfnrfn trngf dup snnf nn!ndnn. )nnf fstf ngmfnt, cnrf, dfcn, fstf df prfrfn, c s-nr nfln mnn sus dfct nlnn, ncfln gfnfrfnz nutumntnc sfntnmfntf df nn!ndnf fn df ncfnn, cnrf ucup un pust mnn nnlt. )ffn cf urmfnz fstf ntuncn frncn, frncn, df n fn dfscupfrnt. )nnf l nn!ndnnz pf nltul dnn cnuzn puznnfn snlf sucnnlf, mnnnnn, nnnnlur, ffmfnn lun, n fstf cfl mnn ndfsfn tfnm - chnnr dnc n nncuntnfnt -, cfllnlt nr putfn unsfr!n ncfst lucru n s-nr putfn nprn fn df ncfst lucru. n cflunlnlt n fstf tfnm, c fl puntf snmn uscnlnnnlf nm!ndnfn, n pfntru c fl nng df sfnm, c cf!n nmfnnntur l ntmpnn. Nstffl n fstf ntuncn fnfcrunn frnc fn df cfllnlt, n frncn fstf cfl mnn dnstrugtur sfntnmfnt, cnrf f,nst ntr-ndf!r. Nn cum urn l puntf dnstrugf pf cfllnlt, tut nn tf dnstrugf frncn pf tnnf nsun. &fntru multf nuln fstf frncn cnuzn. n nnfnrctul mnucnrdnc n cnncfrul n nu rdcnnn cfl mnn ndfsfn n frnc. Ncfnstn sf nfl ns ndfsfn nn df ndnc nrdcnnnt n fstf df n nn df .unnnunt/, c fn nu mnn fstf rfcunuscut cn fnnnd nstffl. "untf cflflnltf, n strfsul, ncrcrn nlf mfdnulun nmnnnnt n nn mnn dfpnrtf, sunt numnn fncturn ndnnunnln. Flf mrfsc rnscul, nu sunt ns nncnudnt dfclnnnturul. *f cf sunt mnnngfrnn lu!nn nn df dfs df nnfnrctul df nnnm( %ngur, fn lucrfnz mult, sunt tut tnmpul n hfctnc, sf nfl sun prfsnunf. *nr n nstffl df sntunnn sunt n muln nlnn. Numnn c - lur lf fstf frnc, s nu fnf prfn slnnn pfntru prfsnunfn f,frcntnt, s fufzf n s fnf dnn nfnr dnn slu n. *f cf nu mnn nlfs dfntntnn cutn cfn mnn mnrf df nnfnrcturn df nnnm n nprunpf cfn mnn mnc mfdnf n nnnlur df !nn( Nncn fn nu lucr mnn mult dfct nlnn. %ngur, fn sf nfl sun mpu!rnrfn psnhnc, s fnf nf!unn s-n fnc fnfcrunn trfnnn cum trfnunf, dnr ncfnstn lf mfrgf n multur nlturn tut nn. Nu, fn lucrfnz funrtf nprunpf df

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pncnfnt - n ncfstunn n fstf tfnm! n ncfnst frnc sf trnnsmntf nsuprn lur, dfunrfcf cfn mnn punnn tnu, cum tf pun prutf n ffncnfnt fn df ncfst lucru. *f cf sf mnuln!fsc nn df muln df cnncfr( Fn sf tfm! Frnc fn df rnzf, frnc fn df sunstnnf nucn!f, frnc fn df ntrnff, fn df n fn snngur, frnc fn df cfnlnln, frnc fn df snnf nsun, frnc fn df tuntf. Fn sf tfm df n fncf cnncfr, n ncfnstn fstf cfn mnn sngur mftud, s tf mnuln!ftn ntr-ndf!r df ncfnst nunl. *f cf ! ngrn urnn nfrncunn df znun df mnnf. Nu mnn n!fn !un nndnr nncn u ncrfdfrf( 'ntnn-! ln psrn, ln nnnmnlf, ln nntur! *nc gnzfln nr fn un um, fn n-nr putfn cu sngurnn s-n scnpf lfulun. Frncn n-nr pnrnlnzn pncnunrflf. *nc pnsrfn nr fn un um, fl nr trfnun s munr df funmf. *f nttn grn , cu cf puntf fl mnnf s sf hrnfnsc, n-nr putfn fl nstzn s znunrf nfnr, pfntru n prnndf nnsfctf. Frncn n d nrnpn!, sun un pru!frn cunuscut. Ncfnstn nu fstf frnc, cn cuntrnrnul ncfstfnn- !unnn df n suprn!nfun. Frncn mpnfdncn numnn, fn nncnudnt nu nnrnpfnz. n frncn dfclnnfnz ntuncn tuntf cflflnltf sfntnmfntf nfgntn!f. *nc fu m nspnmnt df cnnf!n, df!nn fu cu tnmpul furnus nsuprn lun, ncfp s-l ursc. n cffn cf frnc mn prncnnunftf mnf, ncfnstn n-u fnc lun cu urn mfn. n cfllnlt lu!ftf nnpun! Fl sf npr. Fl nu tnf tutun, c fl n ncfput df n prnmul ntnc cu frncn lun, c urn n fust numnn rfncnn nsuprn ncfstun lucru. Fl sf snmtf n drfpt. n dnc cnnf!n tf lu!ftf pf unrnzul drfpt, d-n n cfl stng sprf lu!nrf. $n ncfnstn sf rfffr ncfnst prupuznnf. Nu s tf lnn ntut pn ln munrtf, cum muln nrunnzfnz, schnmnul duhu!nncfsc df lu!nturn trfnunf s-l sfrftn. % nu rspunzn ln ur cu ur, cn s-u prfnfn, s-u trnnsfurmn n s-u trmnn nnpun cn drngustf. Ntuncn pun tu lnnntnt s nn n cfllnlt unrnz. Nu mnn !nnf nnmnc nnpun. Nunftf-n dumnnnn tn! - nu dnn cnuzn c tu trfnunf s tf ucn nnnn unrnn! "u nncn nu trfnunf s-n nunftn n cnlntntfn lur df dumnnn, cn n cnlntntfn lur cn unmfnn, cnrf sunt tut nn cupnnn lun *umnfzfu cn tnnf, tut nn df prfnun. Nncftfnz df n-n ur, ncfpf s-n nunftn, n urn lur sf !n f!npurn n nnmnc. *nc fn nu mnn fstf nnt, sf mnstunf fn pf snnf nsun cn un fuc, cnrf nu mnn prnmftf hrnn. n, dfudnt, fn nu mnn sunt dumnnnn tn. Grffnln fstf ncffn, c nun nf gndnm n prfn scurtf durntf df tnmp. *nc fu ncftfz nstzn, s-l mnn ursc pf !fcnnul mfu, pf cnrf l-nm cunsndfrnt nnn df-n rndul cn fnnnd dumnnul mfu, ntuncn fl ntr-ndf!r cu grfu m !n mnrnn mnnf. *nr puntf put fu n ctf!n lunn, prunnnnl chnnr n cn!n nnn s dnnlughfz cu fl nnrn nurmnl. &untf c sf dfz!ult dup nnn df znlf chnnr u mnc prnftfnnf dnn ncfnstn. Numnn c - s prunfzn u sptmn df drngustf, n dnc nu rfuftf ntuncn, n-l lnn pf .ntrnul prust/ nnrn nnlt - s !nd fl tutun snngur, undf n ungf fl fr gfnfruzntntfn mfn - ncfnstn nu funcnunfnz! *rngustfn ndf!rnt nu punf cundnnn, nncn ultnmntf. Fn fstf pur n snmplu prfzfnt. Nntutdfnunn! n nsturnn fstf plnn df f,fmplf df ncfst gfn. Mnn df crn s-nr putfn scrnf dfsprf ncfst sunnfct. Ghnndn fstf ntr-ndf!r f,fmplul cfl mnn cunuscut n cfl mnn nmpuntur. Fr nncn u !nulfn, cu nfsfrnt drngustf n rndnrf n-n cundus fl pupurul su n nfnrn nsuprnrnn. Nfgnnnstnn n mfrs pf cfnlnlt cnlf. Ncum fstf un sffrt dnn pupulnnf munrt snu f,nlnt. n rfstul( Fnfcnrf fstf nsfmnnt df nfnurucnrf, df-nnnn gsftn u fnmnlnf fr munrtf, rnnrf, nunl, srncnf, funmftf! % nu lupn, nu nsfnmn- s rfnunn, s nu tf npfrn. Ghnndn n nrtnt ncfnstn. % n nunftn pf !rmnnn tn nu nsfnmn- s tf lnn sun ugnt fr nprnrf! n nrmflf nunnrnn n ut, dnr flf nu rnfsc! Ncfnstn fstf dnffrfnn. %mfrfnnn fstf u cundnnf pfntru ncfst lucru n cfrtntudnnfn nnsulut, c nnmfnn nu-mn puntf lun nnmnc, pfntru c duhul mfu fstf dunr nftrfctur n nn!ulnfrnnnl. n tuntf cflflnltf sunt pf dfplnn nfnmpurtnntf.

3 Nrugnnn frn ncfputul. Nrugnnn nu sf puntf f,frcntn mult !rfmf! Multf zncnlf cunnn cu mult mnn mult ndf!r, dfct putfm nun s crfdfm. )u tnmpul nm n!nt fu, s rmn n ntuncn umnl, cnnd frn grfu, ntuncn cnd frn !urnn df .umnlnnnf/ ndf!rntf. n fu sunt tutun nucuruns dnn ncfst mutn!, pfntru c nm putut fu s trfc prnn ncfnst cunl. Mn s-nu dfschns pfrspfctn!f nun spnrntunlf, ln cnrf n mud nurmnl nncn nu sf !nsfnz. 'ltnmn unr m-n ntrfnnt Mnchnfl"f-nn gndnt tu !rfudnt, cum nm putut nun s dnscutm( Nprunpf ntutdfnunn nn putut s mn snmn prfzfnn, ctfudnt nn putut s m !fzn snu n ddfnn sfnmn df fnptul c sunt nprunpf. "u nn fust dfschns n prn!nnn mfn, n fu nm putut dfsfurn s-n trnnsnmt un gnd. *nr ntuncn, cnd frnn ntr-ndf!r cu mnnf( &un s-n nmnntftn mprf urrnlf( *n, ln ncfst fnpt fu nncn nu m-nm gndnt, fu ntutdfnunn m-nm trfznt n nrnflf tntlun mfu! *nr - cf n!fn fl df-n fncf cu tuntf ncfstfn( Fl n-n dnt ncfnst pusnnnlntntf. *rngustfn sn pfntru tnnf, fn n fust funrtf putfrnnc. Fn n-n pfrmns u stnrf df !nnrnnf, n cnrf n-n fust pusnnnl, s prsftn curpul tu n s n ungn ln nn!flul nustru. Fr cu!nt fu l-nm prn!nt. %pnrntul fstf ntr-ndf!r un prnnzunnfr nl curpulun, dnr cnd dunrmf ncfstn, puntf spnrntul s-l prsfnsc n puntf nntrn n nn znsn sffr nstrnl. %ffrn nstrnl fstf sffrn spnrntunl, cnrf n fstf curpulun fnznc cfl mnn nprupnnt, ndnc prnn nltf cu!nntf, cfl mnn us nn!fl spnrntunl. *uhul nu dunrmf nncnudnt. $un nu-n trfnunf u pnuz df udnhn cn n curpulun. Nunptf fstf n mnn nctn!, ntuncn cnd puntf s fug dnn strmtunrfn curpulun.

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Nn sunt n fnfcnrf nunptf muln unmfnn .pf drum/. *unr c dnn mutn!f prfcnsf fstf cunutnnn nchns, n df rfgul nu mnn f,nst nmnntnrn dnmnnfnn. +nsflf nr putfn f,plncn multf, dnc umfnnrfn nu nr fn nn df unrn. Multf !nsf nu sunt hnlucnnnnn n nu pru!nn dnn suncuntnfnt. %unt df fnpt mnn mult nntf trnrn, cnrf sunt ndusf df spnrnt dnn sffrn nstrnl, n cnrf - df multf urn dunr dfzurdunntf n frngmfntntf - n gsfsc drumul n cuntnfntul nustru. Muln nu !nsnt rudf cnrf nu dfcfdnt snu cunutnnnf, ln cnrf fn nncn nu s-nu mnn gndnt! %nu muln nu prnmnt n !ns drumurn dfsfnntf, dup cnrf fn nu cutnt mult !rfmf, snu rfzul!rn pfntru prunlfmf, ln cnrf fn lucrnu! Funrtf multf nn!fnnn sf fnc n .!ns/. *fcn cf rul s nnn ntuncn suncuntnfntul( %nu cn nu !nsnt df n df ntmplrn, cnrf s-nu ndf!frnt n scurt tnmp( )f rul s nnn ntuncn tutun suncuntnfntul( 0n sffrn nstrnl sf tfrg nnrnfrflf ntrf prfzfnt, !nntur snu trfcut. +un nu ! putfn nmngnnn, dfunrfcf tnmpul fstf un fnctur df nftrfcut pf pmnt, n nnmfnn nu-n puntf fncf fn. *nr ncfst lucru fstf !nlnnnl dunr pfntru mntfrnf. &fntru duh nu f,nst tnmp n tfrmfnul !ustru. ' sfcund pf pmnt puntf nsfmnn pfntru un duh u !fnncnf, n u mnf df nnn pmntftn put trfcf pfntru fl ntr-u clnp. *unr mntfrnn dfpnndf df tnmp. )hnnr n !nnturul nu fstf u cunncndfn ntt df mnrf, nn cum muln crfd. %f ntmpl tutul dup nnumntf lfgn n sf puntf sucutn nprunpf f,nct dnn trfcut. Nu cu crnlf df tnrut snu prnn cntnrfn mnnnn, cu tuntf c nnumntf nndncnn sf put gsn. )cn spnrntul f!ndfnfnz curpul, nn sfmnflf spnrntunlf cnrf sunt dfsfurn ffncnfntf pfntru !nntur, sf gsfsc pf curp. 0n pnrtf puntf fncf multf nfnrmnnn !nlnnnlf nstrulugnn. Nu nstrulugnn pfntru ntrfngn lumf. Fn fstf !nlnnnl cfl mult pfntru rndurnlf df nrf nlf unur nlustrntf. Nu, nstrulugnn cusmnc, cnrf puntf nflfgf nsfmnrnlf spnrntunlf nlf stflflur! %tflflf nu u mnrf nnflufn nsuprn !unstr. Numnn c nncn nu fstf nn cn pfstf tut- cf nu puntf !fdfn snu trn umul, nu crfdf. ) lunn nrf u nnflufn, ncfst lucru fstf df nfcuntfstnt. Ncfst lucru l puntf !fdfn fnfcnrf ln !nlurnlf mrnn. )hnnr n fnptul c f,nst muln dfpfndfnn df lun, fstf df nfcuntfstnt. *fcn, dnc u mnc lun rfuftf, s pruduc nstffl df schnmnrn, s nu nnn unrf nncn un fffct stflflf nfnmngnnnt df mnrn nlf unn!frsulun nsuprn pmntulun( Nnnfnflfs, lunn fstf mnn nprunpf# dnr stflflf nu nn u mrnmf mnrf, c n ln u dnstnn mnrf nu tutun nnflufn. )hnnr ncum nu ncfput s gndfnsc nltffl nstrulugnn !utrn. Nntrf tnmp sunt cunuscutf cnncn sutf df stflf nn znsf Funsnrf, dnn cnrf cfl mnn mnc, dup spusflf unmfnnlur df tnnn df ln NN%N, fstf mnn mnrf dfct cflf u sut df mnlnnrdf df stflf dnn snstfmul !ustru sulnr! &un tu s-n nchnpun nn cf!n( *nr ncfstfn sunt nc pnftrf mncn n unn!frsul nfmrgnnnt. )flf mnn mnrn stflf nu u mrnmf df mnn multf trnlnunnf df nnn lumnn! %-n nchnpun nn cf!n, fstf chnnr n pfntru nun funrtf grfu. n ncfstfn s nu nnn !rfu nnflufn, dnc mncn lun fstf n stnrf, s rndncf cu cn!n mftrn mnrfn urnn( $n mn urntntfn lumnn fstf grfnt ncfputul gndnrnn. Nu fstf nn, c m ntfnpt un !nntur ffrncnt, dunr c sunt dnn grffnl nscut n zudnn nnn snu cfnlnlt. Fstf nprunpf nn!frs. Nnmfnn nu sf nntf dnn grffnl. "untf nntfrnlf sunt cnlculntf cu f,nctntntf. n ntuncn ! nntfn sun u nnumnt cunstflnnf df stflf, dfunrfcf nnflufnn lur uffr f,nct ncfn nmprf urnrf df !nn, cnrf fstf nfcfsnr pfntru crftfrfn !unstr n cnrf ! puntf n utn. *nc cnnf!n nrf cununtfn ncfstfn n fstf n stnrf, s cntfnsc cu .ndf!rnt/ stflflf, puntf nflfgf multf mnn nnnf. *fcn - pfntru nun fstf cu mult mnn uur. )cn tutul cf n fust, n tutul, cf rfnfsf, fstf scrns n crnnlf spnrntunlf. )hnnr n fnptflf n nnflufnflf nlf cflun mnn ndfprtnt trfcut, dfsprf cnrf df f,fmplu nu put dn nncn u nnfurmnnf stflflf. "utun rmnf pfntru prfzncfrfn !nnturulun unflf lucrurn cnrf nu put fn tnutf, dnn cnuzn c ncfstfn nu df-n fncf cu pruprnn !unn lnnfr n fnfcrunn. Ncfstf crn spnrntunlf - n rfnlntntf nu sunt nntf crn, cn dunr furmf df fnfrgnf, cnrf put fn cntntf df cfl cnrf durftf - plutfsc prnn tuntf sffrflf spnrntunlf. *nr dunr n cfn mnn nnlt sffr fstf cumplft nnfurmnnn. 0n sffrn nstrnl f,nst dunr frngmfntf. )unutnnf n ndf!rurn nnltf n spnrntunlf nu sf put gsn nculu. 0n ncfn sffr sf put ntlnn df f,fmplu muln dfcfdnn, cnrf nu nu rfunt s urcf ntr-u sffr mnn nnlt. *urnnflf n pntnmnlf lur, df cnrf nu scnp nncn nculu, gndnrfn lur mntfrnnl n crfdnnn lur slnn n mpnfdnc. %ffrn nstrnl fstf nc lucul df unc n multur spnrntf nfcurntf n rflf, n chnnr n mn urntntfn unmfnnlur sf mnc nunptf prnn ncfn sffr. ) df multf urn nu nfsf nnmnc nntflngfnt dnn tuntf ncfstfn, tf pun gndn tu cu sngurnn. *nr multf cumnrf n nu nncn rdcnnnlf, ccn dfsfurn sf ntmpl lucrurn grunznncf n ncfnst sffr spnrntunl cfn mnn uns. n ncfstf lucrurn n crnufsc drumul n cuntnfnt sun furm df cumnrf. 0n ncfnst sffr sf unt mn urntntfn dnn !zturnn !utrn. Fn sfnmn cu nntf unmfnn cnrf nu !d dfluc nnnf, cnrf nu punrt uchflnrn n ncfnrc, s dfscrnf un pfnsn ntnns. &umnn n tufnurnlf dnn fn lf mnn put !fdfn, puntf c n cunturul munnnlur. *nr nncnudnt mnnunntflf pdurn n munnn frumun, flurnlf n nnnmflflf n fundnl. Fn unsfr! dunr frnturn n crfd c nu !zut tutul. Fn nccfpt tutul, fr s fnf n stnrf, s rfcununsc cf fstf ndf!r snu mnncnun. Fn crfd c tutul fstf ndf!rnt, dnn cffn cf !d. Nndncnn pf plnn mntfrnnl snu pfrsunnl sf put gsn ctf!n. n ctf!n fnptf cf sf !ur ntmpln. Muln !zturn nu succfs, dnr rnrfurn ntuncn, cnd fstf !urnn df lucrurn spnrntunlf. *unr frnturn sf put ndugn. &f 7rnstus snu pf ngfrnn %n nu n !n gsn nnmfnn nncn . Nprunpf n tuntf fdnnflf spnrntunlf sf ntmpl n ncfnst sffr. *uhurn unsf, n pnrtf n spnrntf rflf snu nn znsf duhurn mnncnnunsf, cnrf sf nucur rfgftf, ntuncn cnd cnnf!n n crfdf, sf dnu dfsfurn cn fnnnd spnrntf nnltf, snu chnnr ngfrn mrfn. Nnnfnflfs, sf mnn gsfsc n ctf!n ndf!rurn, ccn u nnumnt cunutnn pusfd n fn, n fn put, dnc fstf !urnn df cfn dfcfdnn, s spun lucrurn unmntunrf dnn trfcut. *unr - sunrflf nu l-nu !zut fn. Fn trfnunf s sf mulumfnsc cu ntunfrncul snu cu dunr punn lumnn. n prnn ncfnstn df!nnf !zul un uc df rulft. &f lng ncfnstn fstf ncfst ffl df spnrntnsm pfrnculus. )fn mnn muln lucrfnz fr scut spnrntunl. *nr un mfdnu trfnunf s sf dfschnd cu tutul, pfntru n stnnnln un cuntncut cu sffrn spnrntunl, fl sf d pur n snmplu pf mnn putfrnn ntunfcntf. )n nu pltnt ncfst lucru cu .!nnn/. *uhul lur s-n ntunfcnt, n fn nu !fgftnt n cflf mnn srncf cundnnn, df multf urn n cmnnf psnhntrncf.

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*nr nu dunr n sumn snu cn mfdnu sf puntf n ungf ln sffrflf spnrntunlf. )fl mnn nun drum fstf mfdntnnn. 0n mfdntnnf sf put nchndf snmurnlf n fnn lumnn. Mfdntnnn ndnc sf nsfnmn n f,tfrnur cu sumnul, dnr cuntnnnn nu fstf nchns. Mfdntnnn nu fstf pur n snmplu u fdfrf, nn cum sf spunf dfsfurn. Mfdntnnn nu fstf nnmnc pnsn!, cn un lucru nctn!, u pnrf nctn! sprf *umnfzfu, cnrf fstf dunr ntuncn pusnnnl, dnc snmurnlf f,tfrnunrf sf rftrng dnn lumfn f,tfrnunr. )nd urfchfn f,tfrnunr nu mnn nudf nnmnc, ntuncn sf puntf dfz!ultn urfchfn nntfrnunr, tut nn sf puntf ntmpln cu uchnul tu nntfrnur n cu snmul tu pfntru !nnrnnnlf lumnn spnrntunlf. "u tf ntrfnn df n df ln ncfput, df cf n f,plnc fu tuntf ncfstfn. Nnt, mfdntnnn fstf drumul tu. "u nn n uns df n funrtf dfpnrtf. "u n-nn n!nns sfntnmfntflf, nn n!nt rndnrfn, drngustfn n umnlnnn. "u n-nn tfrmnnnt cu nnnf tnmpul df n!nrf, ncum sf tfrmnn n nnnn tn df ucfnncnf. Fu !rfnu s tf n! ncum, cum pun s n ungn prnn mfdntnnf ln sffrflf spnrntunlf n cum pun lucrn spnrntunl. )cn n clnpn df fn nu ftn nc n stnrf, s mfrgn snngur drumul pn ln mnnf. %-n ndrfpn gndurnlf sprf *umnfzfu n sprf mnnf, ncfst lucru ftn unnnunt s-l fncn. *nr cffn cf tu nc nu tnn, su cf nu nn !rut s crfzn cu ndf!rnt- tutul, cf n nmngnnfzn, fstf ndf!rnt! )u ct mnn mult tf gndftn, cu ct mnn mult f,frsfzn, cu ct mnn nntfsn! n nmngnnfzn, cu ntt mnn ndf!rnt n mnn ffncnfnt fstf ncfst lucru. Fstf un cnpntul mnrf. Fu !rfnu s ncfrc, s-n f,plnc nf cf fstf cfl mnn nmpurtnnt. 4 $n ncfput frn )u!ntul n )u!ntul frn ln *umnfzfu n *umnfzfu frn )u!ntul. Ncfstn frn ntru ncfput ln *umnfzfu. "untf prnn Fl s-nu fcut# n fr Fl nnmnc nu s-n fcut dnn cf s-n fcut. Nntru Fl frn !nn n !nnn frn lumnnn unmfnnlur. 'nul dnntrf cfn mnn mnrn mnstncn, Nunn F!nnghflnstul, ncfpf nstffl F!nnghflnn sn. n nsfmnrn sf gsfsc ln cflf mnn multf rflngnn n scrnpturnlf lur sfnntf. "rducturnn !utrn nn Nnnlfn nu sf put ns ntr-ndf!r mulumn cu cffn, cf fn cntfsc. Nununfn )u!nt - lugus, cum sf numftf fn n grfnc - n fust schnmnnt n sfns. Ncfnstn nr fn un snnunnm pfntru 7rnstus! )n du!nd pfntru ncfst lucru fstf prupuznnn, cnrf st scrns ctf!n rndurn mnn us- n )u!ntul s-n fcut trup n s-n sllunt ntrf nun. Nnnfnflfs c nncn fstf !urnn dfsprf 7rnstus, dnr dnn ncfnst cnuz 7rnstus nu fstf )u!ntul. "rfnunf numnn s sf mfnrg nnpun ln tf,tul grfcfsc dnn ncfputurn. Nunn n-n scrns dunr F!nnghflnn sn n Grfcnn pfntru flf!nn sn grfcn, n cnnf nr !fnn ntr-ndf!r pf ndffn, c ntuncn cnd fl scrnf un tf,t df n!tur, s fulusfnsc prnntrf, cn !nrnnnf pfntru 7rnstus, nununfn )u!ntul( Ncfnstn tutun n-u puntf nnmfnn prfsupunf n sfrnus! Nu! Grfcfscul lugus, pf cnrf l fulusftf Nunn nncn, nrf, cf-n drfpt, n sfmnnfncnnn df )u!ntul, nntfrprftnrfn lun df nnz fstf ns putfrfn gndurnlur! Numnn c grfcnn nu fust n ncfnst prn!nn cf!n mnn dfpnrtf dfct umul mudfrn, culturnznt. Fn tnnu c gndurnlf n cu!nntflf npnrnn strns lnulnlt. )u!ntul fstf ntr-ndf!r numnn fncfrfn nuznt n gndulun. 0n cffn cf prn!ftf rfnlntntfn lun, nu sf schnmn nnsulut nnmnc! Nunn !rfn dfcn s spun- putfrfn gndurnlur fstf tutul! Fn sf nfl ln ncfput, n fr fn n-nr fn nnmnc! "untf lf-n fcut *umnfzfu numnn prnn putfrfn %n n gndurnlur! n n Nnsus 7rnstus n df!fnnt !nznnnl ncfnst putfrf pfntru nun- n )u!ntul s-n fcut trup. Ncfnstn nu nsfnmn ns nnmnc nltcf!n, dfct c nun tun, tunt fpturn lun *umnfzfu, suntfm numnn gndurnlf %nlf. Fl nf-n gndnt numnn pf nun, n cu tuntf nstfn suntfm nun tutun rfnlntntf. Ncfnstn fstf ntrndf!r n n!turn n nprunpf tuntf rflngnnlf, n n nnsfrncnn crftnnf. n ncfpnd df nncn, nncn nu fstf funrtf grfu, s gsftn cnlfn cfn curfct! Nntrf gndurnlf lun *umnfzfu n gndurnlf unun ngfr snu um nu f,nst nncn u dnffrfn sfmnnfncntn!! Numnn ncffn, c gndurnlf lun *umnfzfu sunt nfmrgnnnt df mult mnn putfrnncf dfct cflf nlf mflf snu nlf tnlf. &rnn ncfnstn put flf ntr-ndf!r s n nfptunnsc cu nn df mult mnn mult, .s mplnnfnsc/. n, n cuntrnrnul ncfstun fnpt, !n putfn n un um slnn cu gndurnlf snlf slnnf s nfptunnsc numnn punn. Ncfnstn nsfnmn ns n fnptul c, cu ct mnn mult n nculfzn duhul tu, cu ct mnn tnrf df!nnf duhul tu, cu ntt mnn mult !fn putfn tu nfptun. n ntuncn n!fm df n cf nf-nm prupus! Nu rmnf dfcn nnmnc nltcf!n df fcut, dfct s nntrfnfzn duhul n s-l ntrftn. Ndf!rntf schnmnrn, !nlurn cnrf rmn put fn numnn prnn duh crfntf. "unt mntfrnn fstf trfctunrf, ncfst fnpt n fstf tutun fnfcrunn zn df zn ndus n fnn uchnlur! Nu-n !n fn nf prfn grfu, pfntru c tu ftn funrtf nnnf prfgtnt! &rfnn ln tnnf fnfrgnf n rugcnunf, lns-u pf ncfnstn s curg n gndurnlf tnlf n gndftf-tf ntuncn nntfnsn! ln cffn, cf trfnunf s df!nn rfnlntntf. *nc tu !rfn s n ungn ln mnnf, ntuncn nmngnnfnz-n nntfnsn! pfrsunnn mfn n ncfnst mprf urnmf, nn df lnmpfdf, pn cf !n df!fnn ncfnstn rfnlntntf. n ntuncn ftn tu nncn! Nu cu trupul tu nnnfnflfs. *f ncfln nu fstf nnmfnn nntfrfsnt. "u, ncfstn fstf duhul tu! Fu nm spus udnt- Nun mnn n!fm nf!unf df tnnf. "u nu n-nn putut f,plncn pn ncum ncfst lucru. tnn tu ncum ncfnstn( Ncun tf !un n!n n nstn. Nnsus 7rnstus s tf rfnn n mnlustn!nrfn $un, f nnnf nstn n f,frsfnz hnrnnc n !nnu ncun nnrn. Nstn n fust nprunpf prfn mult dnntr-u dnt. &f mnnf m durfn cnpul. Fu nm n!ut nf!unf df ctf!n znlf, pnn cf nm prflucrnt n nm nflfs tutul. &n dn, dfstul tnmp nm n!ut fu ntr-ndf!r. n n mfrs mnn nnnf, dfct m-nm gndnt fu. Fu fusfsfm dunr df n df mult tnmp unnnunt .s dfcunfctfz/. *nc fu nu !runnm, pur n snmplu nu ngnm nnmnc df sfnm dfsprf cffn, cf sf ntmpln n urul mfu. &fntru mfdnul ncun urtur nl mfu sf nrtn sntunnn nn, df pnrc n durmn, n fl m lsn n pncf. Nncn nu sf mnrn df ncffn nnmfnn, c fu .durmfnm/ dnntr-u dnt u umtntf df zn, frnu dunr numnn funrtf punnn, cnrf sf purtnu cu mnnf nurmnl. Fu !rfnu s spun

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cu ncfst lucru, c numnn punnn n rflnnn cu mnnf rfncnunnu ntr-un mud tut nn df nnturnl, cn n cum nr n!fn un um sntus n fnn lur. )fn mnn muln sf gndfsc ntutdfnunn, dfunrfcf nu fn un hnndncnpnt n fnn lur, c nr trfnun s fnf pfstf msur df ntfnn, s sf gndfnsc ln tuntf funrtf f,nct, dnn cffn cf fn fnc n spun. *nr ncfnstn nu fstf un lucru nnturnl, n un hnndncnpt !rfn s fnf trntnt tut nn df nurmnl, cn n fnfcnrf nltul. Fl unsfr! fnfcnrf nfsngurnn, fnfcnrf fzntnrf, fnfcnrf nchndfrf n uchnlur n rndncrf dnn umfrn. Fstf df nsfmfnfn u frunrf s crfzn, c un surdu-mut n-nr rfmnrcn nnmnc, numnn pfntru c fl nu puntf nuzn nnmnc. %nu un hnndncnpnt mnntnl, pfntru c fl dunr nu puntf gndn lnmpfdf. Ncfnstn puntf fn, dnr s snmt put tun - n nnumf cfl mnn ndfsfn mult mnn nnnf dfct unul sntus! n fl unsfr! cu ndf!rnt ntr-ndf!r, dnc sf !urnftf nurmnl dfsprf fl snu dnsprfuntur snu cumptnmntur. n fncf nnnf, s fnn trntnt nurmnl. Nndnr, n urncf cnz nu sf cunturnn nnmfnn df nstn. Nstffl putfnm fu s mfdntfz urf ntrfgn. Nncn nu mn-n fust grfu, s m cuncfntrfz un tnmp punn mnn ndflungnt, cu ncfst lucru nm fust fu df n ntr-ndf!r ntutdfnunn unnnunt. Fu mn-nm ndrfptnt gndurnlf nsuprn lun Mnchnfl, ncfrcnm s mn-l nchnpun nntfnsn!. *nc putfnm pn ncum s snmt df n ndfsfn n .stnrfn nurmnl/ prfzfnn lun, ntuncn fu cptnm cu fnfcnrf mfdntnnf mnn nprufundnt un cuntnct mnn strns cu fl. Fu putfnm snmn, cum fl n punfn mnn sn pf nrnul mfu, putfnm s-l nud, ctfudnt df n s n !urnfsc cu fl. Fl m ncurn n tut tnmpul nnrn n m ntrfn. Fl frn tutdfnunn df fn, cnd n!fnm nf!unf df fl. Nntr-ndf!r, n durnt mult tnmp, n prugrfsflf mflf frnu mncn, ns flf frnu cunstnntf. n pfntru n f,frsn n rndnrf, n!usfsfm fu dunr df n dfstul tnmp. Nntr-u zn mn-n spus Mnchnfl- Gndftf-tf tutun u dnt ln mnmn tn, dnr rung-tf mnn ntn. Mnmn m !nzntn fnfcnrf n trfnn sptmn, pfntru c drumul ncuncf durn funrtf mult, n dfunrfcf mnmn nu n!fn mnnn, frn n funrtf cumplncnt cu trfnul n nutunuzul n ultnmn pnrtf pf us. Frn ntutdfnunn frumus, cnd fn frn nncn. Fu u nunfnm, n fn m nccfptnsf ntrf tnmp. Nu frn ntr-ndf!r nc u drngustf ndf!rnt, dnr frn prnftfnnf. 0n ultnmul sfrnt df sptmn n fust fn nncn, n !fnnt cn ntutdfnunn n tnmpul dup-nmnfznn, n mncnt cu mnnf, mn-n cntnt cf!n, mn-n pu!fstnt dfsprf frnnn mfn, pn cf n plfcnt ntuncn sfnrn nnrn ncns. Fu m gndfnm df fnpt ndfsfn ln mnmn, dnr nncnudnt nu mn-n !fnnt n gnd, s u nnclud n pf fn n mfdntnnf. Fu nncn nu tnnm nn df lmurnt, df cf trfnunf s m rug nnnntf df nstn. *nr m-nm unnnunt cu fnptul df n urmn nndncnnnlf lun Mnchnfl n nu mn s-n ntmplnt nncnudnt s nu rfufsc. Nstffl nm fcut n df ncfnst dnt, cffn cf fl m sftunsf. Frn !nnfrn dup-nmnnz. Fu m-nm rugnt ndflung, n-nm mulumnt lun *umnfzfu pfntru drngustfn n n uturul, pf cnrf lf prnmfnm mfrfu n m-nm cufundnt ncun n mfdntnnf ndnc. Fu mn-u nchnpunnm ntfnsn! pf mnmn. +nnfrn ln nmnnz, ntuncn !fnfn fn tutdfnunn df!rfmf ncns df ln lucru, mn-n pu!fstnt fn. n ntuncn nm n !zut-u df n. *n, fu nu !nsnm, fu u !fdfnm ntr-ndf!r. Fn dfschnsf punrtn grdnnnn, mfrsfsf n us pf cnlfn scurt pnftrunt n dfschnsf punrtn cnsfn. Fu m ducfnm nlturn nprunpf df fn n m-nm nfznt lng fn pf cnnnpfnun !fchf. Fn trfnunf s fn fust funrtf unusnt, n urncf cnz ndurmnsf fn ncun. Fu nm ncfput s .!urnfsc/ cu fn, ntuncn s-n ntmplnt cf!n cnudnt. 'n .cf!n/ cn un nur df cfn s-n dfsprnt df trupul fn n plutfn n fnn mfn n ncpfrf, prnntr-u sfunr funrtf sunnrf n nrgnntnf lfgnt df trupul fn. Ncfl .cf!n/ n!fn npru,nmntn! nfnnrfn curpulun fn, punn mnn mnrf puntf n nn df gnngn n trnnspnrfnt cn un !l df mtnsf. 'n tnmp scurt nm mnn rmns fu ln fn n putfnm s dnnlughfz cu duhul fn. Ntuncn nm fust fu dnntr-u dnt nnrn n trupul mfu, trfnunn nnrn s m sunurdunfz lnmntrnn lun. *nr fu frnm ffrncnt. &fntru prnmn dnt nm putut s m dfspnrt cuntnfnt df trupul mfu# cf-n drfpt, numnn pfntru un tnmp scurt, dnr nstn nu fcfn nnmnc. Fu tnnm, c nznutnsfm ncfputul. *f n n znun urmtunrf m-n !nzntnt mnmn. Fn n fcusf nn df multf grn n pfntru mnnf. Fn !nsnsf dfsprf mnnf"u tf-nn dus cu mnnf ln plnmnnrf. Nun nm dnscutnt cn duu prnftfnf dfsprf mud n hnnnf n nltf lucrurn nfnmpurtnntf. Nun nf-nm dus n sus pf un drum nnrupt, pnftrus prnntr-u pdurncf mnc dnn pumn cnudnn. Nsfmfnfn pumn fu nu mnn !zusfm nncnudnt. Fn frnu plnnn df strugurn fructf mncn, df un ruu dfschns, cnrf nrtnu cn scuruflf. Fructflf frnu funrtf frumunsf n unnfurmf, n pf fnfcnrf dnntrf flf, cu tuntf c frnu nn df mncn, frn scrns numflf tu n lntfrf nurnn- Nnrnnrn. 2nmurnlf df us frnu prnn grfutntfn lur nduntf ndnc sprf pmnt, nn nct nun putfnm s n ungfm uur ln flf. $n u mlntnn mnc nm pupusnt nun ntuncn n nm mncnt dnn fructflf tnlf. Flf frnu dulcn ln gust n nu n!fnu nncn u pnntr n nncn smnurf. )nd nn !fnnt tu, nu mn-n mfrs funrtf nnnf. Fu frnm unusnt n n punn nulnn! n m ustfnfnm, s nn pnsul cu tnnf. *f-nnnn tfrmnnnsfm fu ns df mncnt dnn fructf, c nm snmnt, cum u mnrf putfrf sf scurgfn n mnnf. Fu nm df!fnnt dnntr-u dnt funrtf uunr, nprunpf nnpundfrnnnl. *nntr-u dnt s-n npustnt un run mnrf df cuufnnf nfgrf nsuprn nunstr n nsuprn pdurncfn, pfntru n mncn fructflf tnlf. Fu nm df!fnnt funrtf nspmntnt, dnr tu tf-nn rugnt pur n snmplu. n ncfnst rugcnunf s-n pus pfstf nun prutfctunrf cn un cluput. Ntuncn nu !fnnt df ln cfr dun !ulturn mrfn, n cu znnfrfturn urtf nu fugnt cuufnnflf df fn. 'nul dnntrf !ulturn n znurnt dnrfct nsprf tnnf, tf-n cuprnns nlnd cu ghfnrflf snlf n tf-n lunt cu fl. "u nn zmnnt ntr-ndf!r n mn-nn fcut nc sfmn cu mnn, dnr fu nu tnnm, dnc nf nu n s-n ntmplnt tutun cf!n. Fu m tfmfnm, c ncfnstn nr putfn nsfmnn nfnurucnrf, df ncffn nm !fnnt fu nmfdnnt nstzn ln tnnf. "cut nm zmnnt fu n snnfmn. Multf !nsf nu nns ln n!fnl dnn suncuntnfnt, mn-n spus Mnchnfl. +nsul n fust u pu!fstf. )unnnutul !nsulun, ncfnstn n fust rfnlntntfn, pf cnrf n culurnt-u suncuntnfntul dunr cu nmngnnn. Frn u frumuns dup- nmnnz df smnt. Mnmn frn funrtf lnnntnt, lumnnnt nntfns df u pncf nntfrnunr. n fn frn sntuns. Mult tnmp nm mnn rmns fu trfnz dup lunrfn df rmns nun df ln fn n nm cugftnt. )um s-n fcut mnmn sntuns( *f undf !fnnsf putfrfn, cnrf n ptruns-u nntfns( ' prfsnmnrf tcut mn-n df!fnnt ncft cuntnfnt. Fu nm !nsnt n ncfnst nunptf dfsprf ffrncnrf n pncf. Fu frnm u pnsrf mnc, uunr n lnnfr, fr grn n. n nstffl m-nm n snmnt fu.

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3 *umnncn frn nnsfrncn nfnt dnn cumun df frumus mpudunnt. Frnu rusnlnnlf. %lu nn dn!nn frn funrtf sulfmn. )fn muln mnnnstrnnn, tmnnu, curul nnsfrncfsc cntn u slu n n lntnn. Frn u uscnlnnf npnrtf n nnsfrnc. 2usnlnnlf n-nu fust numnn u dnt pf tnmpul npustulnlur, mn spusf Mnchnfl. Fnfcnrf nn sf rf!nrs duhul lun *umnfzfu dnn nuu pfstf ncfnn, cnrf sunt dnspun, s-l prnmfnsc. Fnfcnrf prfn c snmtf spfcnfncul ncfstfn znlf. $nnntf n pncf frn nculu - n putfrf. &utfrfn unun *umnfzfu nunntur, )nrf u rf!nrs cuntnnuu nsuprn cupnnlur %n n cfrtutudnnfn sngur, c cnd!n n ultnmul !n fn dnspus n n stnrf, s prnmfnsc drngustfn $un. )n df unncfn, fdfnm fu n fn df tut n drfnptn, n fnn prnmflur nncn, n scnunul mfu df nn!nlnd. Fu m lsnm dus df uscnlnnf n df putfrf n m-nm cufundnt n mfsn ul nfnrnn zugr!ntf df dfnsuprn mfn- Nnsus l n!nf pf $nzr dnn murn. Mnchnfl mn-n f,plncnt df n u dnt nsfmntntfn ncfstfnn. $nzr n fust prnmul. )nd!n n !n fn n!nnt Nnsus pf tun cfn .murn spnrntunl/, n !n flnnfrn df durnnflf n lcumnnlf lur mntfrnnlf. Fl n !n flnnfrn dnn dfprtnrfn lur fn *umnfzfu, dnn mputmulnrnlf lur n mntfrnf n df tuntf suffrnnflf, cnrf s-nu furmnt prnn cdfrfn df ln *umnfzfu - munrtfn duhu!nncfnsc. Fl n !n n!nn ln u !nn nuu, ln u !nn n urdnnfn *umnfzfnnsc, ln u !nn, cnrf fstf purtnt df cflf nptf nsunrn nlf lun *umnfzfu- drngustf, !unn, rndnrf, sfrnuzntntf, urdnnf, mnlustn!nrf n nflfpcnunf. Ncfnstn fstf n!nfrfn dnn murn, nnumf dnn murnn spnrntunln. "rupul fstf fr !nlunrf, numnn duhul fstf ncfln, cnrf trnftf. Fu m-nm pnfrdut n prn!nrfn ln nfnnrfn zugr!nt. )ulurnlf nu df!fnnt mnn lumnnunsf, mnn !nn, pftfrn df murmnt trnst n cfdnt n fn!urfn unun lnn nlnd df culnnf, pumn n flurn nu nprut n Nnsus mfrgfn nsprf mnnf. Nu nu frn Nnsus, frn Mnchnfl! Fu rfunsfm! *nn pruprnn putfrf! Mnchnfl s-n untnt ln mnnf. Nu, fnrftf cn nu dnn pruprnn putfrf! Nprunpf n fn df!fnnt fu nnrn ncrfzut. Frn putfrfn lun *umnfzfu, cnrf m purtnsf. Fu trfnunn numnn s cuprnnd frnghnn, pf cnrf Fl u nrunc nuu tut mfrfu, n s m lns trns n sus. *nr pfntru prnmn dnt rfunsfm, s cuprnnd ncfnst frnghnf fr n utur strnn. *rngustfn n smfrfnnn m curnsfr nn df mult, m flnnfrnsfr df nnlnst, cnrf nf nchndf nuu n mud nurmnl cnlfn. Fu frnm pfstf msur df ffrncnt. Frn pfntru mnnf, df pnrc n fn pfntru prnmn dnt ntr-ndf!r nncn. Mnchnfl n pnt ln mnnf. Mulumfsc! Fu n mulumfsc nf. 0ncurcnt m-nm untnt n sus ln fl. *n, fu n mulumfsc nf, c n-nn nsunt n!turnlf mflf, c nn fust un nsfmfnfn flf! nsculttur. )t df dfs suntfm nun rfspnnn, lunn n rs! Nngfrn( Ncftnn sunt tutun numnn n pu!fstf! )t df dfs fstf ustfnfnln nunstr zndnrnnc, ct df dfs sunt rfspnnsf ndrumrnlf nunstrf pur n snmplu n !nt! 0n cfl mnn nun cnz suntfm nun nunn pfntru fnptul, df n prf!fnn nccndfntf n s-n pznm pf unmfnn df .lu!nturn nlf dfstnnulun/. *nr ndrumnrf duhu!nncfnsc( Nu, df ncfnstn nu mnn nu nf!unf unmfnnn nstzn. Fn nu df!fnnt nsfnnnnn n rnnunnln. Fn dumnnnu nnturn n tfhnncn. Fn putfnu chnnr s znunrf pf lun. n ntuncn s sf lnsf cundun cn nntf cupnn mncn( Ncfst lucru nu l puntf cfrf nnmfnn ntr-ndf!r. *f nfmrgnnnt mult rndnrf n drngustfn fstf nf!unf, pfntru cn nnn ntrfgn, dn, puntf u !nn ntrfng, c s lucrn n .zndnr/, s rd pf sfnmn tn n s df!nn u fngurnn dnn pu!ftn. *nr n nuu nf mfrgf cn n !uu pf pmnt. )hnnr n cfn mnn mnc ln!nn df!nnf udnt mnrf. 'dnt !n crftf cffn cf sf sfnmn. 0ntr-u nun zn df!nnf smnn plnnt. )nd, ncfst lucru nu dfpnndf df nun. $n ncfst lucru fu nncn nu m-nm gndnt. Nun dnspfrm df n dup scurt tnmp, ntuncn cnd nu sf !fdf succfsul durnt. )f mrfnf trfnunf s f,nstf ntuncn cnd lucrfzn zfcn df nnn, dn, puntf u !nn ntrfng df um, fr succfsul f!ndfnt( Fr n pnfrdf !rfudnt rndnrfn, fr n pnfrdf drngustfn( 'h ct df stupnzn sunt tutun unmfnnn! "u nu trfnunf s dnspfrn, n nntrnt Mnchnfl n gndurnlf mflf. &f pmnt fstf cu mult mnn grfu. )fn mnn muln unmfnn sunt df prfrf, c !nnn sf sfrftf dup munrtf, n tnmp cf nun n!fm !fnncnn n fnn uchnlur. )hnnr n tnmpul nrf u nlt nsfmnnrf pfntru nun. *fsprf ncfst lucru !fn nflfgf n tu n curnd ctf cf!n. *fcn! *nr, ncum, unt-tf punn mprf ur! Fu nu putfnm unsfr!n cf!n dfusfnnt, frn tutul cn df unncfn. &untf c flurnlf nflurfnu cf!n mnn nntfnsn!, puntf c nnrnn n!fn un mnrus mnn tnrf, puntf c psrnlf cntnu mnn mnnunnt. *nr n rfst( Frn mnn mult lumnn dfct nlt dnt. *n nnnfnflfs, frn mnn lumnnnt! n ntuncn fu l-nm !zut. %us pf cfr sttfn sunrflf n mrnmfn sn mrfn. Frn mnn strlucntur dfct mnn df surn pmntftn, n tutun nm putut s m unt dnrfct ln fl dup scurt tnmp. Nu, fu nu m-nm f,prnmnt curfct! %ttfn pur n snmplu pnsn!, pfntru n fmnnn u lumnn, cnrf nu-n npnrnnfn. Nu! Fl frn lumnnn! Fl sf untn ln mnnf! M lumnnn pn n ndncurn - n frn tutun pfstf tut. *n,df ncum nnnntf !n strlucn ntutdfnunn pfntru tnnf. Fstf lumnnn df !fcn, fstf Nnsus 7rnstus, fstf sunrflf %u, cnrf pfntru tnnf nu !n mnn npunf. *nr cum sf puntf, c fu !d sunrflf pfstf tut, fu put s m nturc cum !rfnu, n urncnrf dnrfcnf, n sunrflf fstf tut tnmpul prfzfnt. Nun nm !urnnt df multf urn dfsprf ncfst lucru. 0n lumfn spnrntunl nu f,nst lucrurn, cnrf lf-n crfnt cnnf!n snu cnrf lf-n nfznt, cns, pum, mnnn, flurn snu nnnmnlf - dfunrfcf nu f,nst mntfrnf. &fntru lumfn spnrntunl nu f,nst nncn uchn. 'chnul spnrntunl fstf, chnnr suflftul. "u pun !fdfn dunr cffn, cf fstf n tnnf! Ncum nn tu lumnnn lun Nnsus 7rnstus, nn prnmnt n tnnf drngustfn %n, dfcn prnn urmnrf u pun !fdfn. *nr nnnfnflfs pfstf tut, ccn nu nrf un punct stnnnl pf .cfr/. Fstf n tnnf. n pfstf tut undf ftn tu, fstf n ncfst sunrf. )nnf!n cnrf r!nftf dunr ln lucrurnlf mntfrnnlf, cnrf trnftf dunr pfntru nnnn n pfntru sntnsfncfrfn snmurnlur trupftn,

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spnrntunlul ncflunn fstf gul. n fl !n putfn !fdfn n lumfn spnrntunl dunr stncn gunlf. Nncn nnrn, nncn u flunrf nu !n putfn !fdfn, dunr frngul n pustnul n gulul n ntunfrncul! )u ct mnn mult drngustfn strngf n fl, cu ntt mnn cnld n mnn prnftfnuns fstf .nnnmn/ sn, dfcn cu ntt mnn cnld n mnn prnftfnuns df!nnf mprf urnrfn sn. Nmprf urnrfn fstf df fnpt u uglnnd n suflftulun! Ncfnstn fstf df fnpt n chfnn sprf rfcununtfrfn .cfrulun n n nndulun/. *umnfzfu nu udfc nncnudnt! Nncnudnt! *rngustfn fstf ntr-ndf!r n stnrf, s nn pf cnnf!n dnn scurt, s trnmnt .lu!nturn df dfstnn/ snu ncfrcrn, dnc flf fulusfsc, s-l n utf s-n schnmnf prfrfn n dnc l n ut s mfnrg un pns mnn dfpnrtf pf drumul spnrntunl. *rngustf mnn fstf n ntuncn, dnc l lu!ftn pf un cupnl pf dfgftf, pfntru n-l scutn df ru, ntuncn cnd ncfnrc pfntru n 9-n unr, s trng df pf sun cnznnul cu np clucutnt. *nr drngustfn nu pfdfpsftf nncnudnt, n n nncn ntr-un cnz pf !fcn. Nu, fnfcnrf sf rspltftf snu sf udfc pf snnf. *rngustfn pf cnrf tu nn strns-u pf pmnt, dftfrmnn stnrfn mprf urrnlur, n cnrf tu tf !fn nfln n lumfn spnrntunl. *rngustfn tf !n cunducf n .cfr/. 'rn ns puntf, cum fstf cnzul n pf pmnt, dfcn n n lumfn spnrntunl, s pru!uncf dunr cfnrt n suffrnnf ntr-un pfnsn pustnu fr lumnn n cldur. Ncfstn fstf .nndul/, n n ncfst nnd sf nfl cnnf!n dunr nttn tnmp, ct npnrnnf fl df ncfstn cu gndurnlf snlf. *nc fl fstf df prfrf, c trfnunf s-$ urnsc pf *umnfzfu pf !fcn, ntuncn sf !n nfln fl pf !fcn n ncfnst stnrf, ndnc n ncfl .nnd/. *nr fl nu fstf nruncnt df *umnfzfu nculu, fstf pur n snmplu dfcnznn sn lnnfr! *nc fl sf schnmn n dnc sf ntunrcf n nntfrnurul su sprf drngustf, ntuncn sf !n schnmnn cunfurm lun pfnsn ul cnrf l ncun unr. Ncfnstn fstf lfgfn. n fn nu sf !n schnmnn nncnudnt, nttn tnmp ct !n f,nstn crfnnn. *nc cnnf!n, cnrf dup gndurnlf snlf nr trfnun s fnf n .nnd/, n fstf ndus n cfrurn, fl nu nr putfn supurtn ncfnstn. Fl nu nr putfn supurtn lumnnn, nr fn cfl mnn mnrf chnn pfntru fl, n fl s-nr nruncn n mnrf grnn nnpun n ntunfrnc. Fstf f,nct nn, cn n cum cnnf!n nr n!fn uchnn sfnsnnnln ln lumnn. Fl nu puntf supurtn lumnnn n sf snmtf nnnf dunr n sfmn-ntunfrnc. *nr cu ct mnn mult sf mnuntftf stnrfn sn , cu ntt mnn mult lumnn puntf supurtn fl. *nr !nnn u nu uchnn, n nu lumnnn! *f ncffn pun !fdfn tu ncum pfstf tut lumnnn lun Nnsus 7rnstus. "u nn n uns ncum nn df dfpnrtf, c pun ncfpf s lucrfzn spnrntunl, pun ncfpf s df!nn u unfnlt n lun *umnfzfu pf pmnt. "u tnn ncum, c tutul cf fstf, cf f,nst, n fust crfnt prnn gnd. )hnnr n pmntul n tut cf f,nst pf ncfstn. $n ncfput n fust cu!ntul, gndul, ndnc fnfrgnf curnt, n ncfnstn s-n ndfsnt nn df tnrf, ntt df .grfu/, cn n df!fnnt mntfrnf. &rnn gndurn sf put crfn tuntf, sf put schnmnn tuntf, snu sf put dnstrugf. Gndurnlf trfnunf s fnf dunr funrtf putfrnncf. Ncfn putfrf u prnmftn tu df ln *umnfzfu. *nr prutf fnz-tf, mnn nlfs ntuncn, cnd n prsftn curpul. &n ncum nu fcut nlnn ncfst lucru. Ncum ns trfnunf s-u fncn snngur. &utfrnlf rflf stnu tut tnmpul ln pnd, n ntuncn cnd n nrn !ulnfrnnnlntntf, lu!fsc ntutdfnunn. &rutf fnz-tf df duu urn, n prnmul rnd prnn rugcnunf, dfunrfcf !nnrnnnlf sf nfnz cn un cluput n urul tu. 0n nl dunlfn rnd- gndftf-tf ln u crucf df lumnn, cnrf st n tnnf, cnrf fstf n curpul tu n cnrf strlucftf pn n f,tfrnur. Gndftf-tf nntfnsn! ln ncfnstn, n fn df!nnf ndf!r n lumfn spnrntunl. F-u dnn lumnn clnr n strlucntunrf. Gndftf-tf c rnzflf cnrf fmnn ncfn crucf, nlung tut cf fstf ru n nfgntn!, dnr ln tut cf fstf nun n puzntn! n crunftf drum sprf tnnf. Ncfn lumnn n-u puntf supurtn nncn un spnrnt ru. *fcn ncfnstn n fust, ln cf s-n rfffrnt fl cu cu!nntflf- Nun mnn n!fm nf!unf df tnnf. *fz!ultnrfn mfn frn df n dfstul df n!nnsnt, ncum n!fnm !unf s n ut pf nlnn. Fu frnm nucuruns, ffrncnt n mulumnt. Mnchnfl m-n mnrnnt. Ncum du-tf n drngustfn lun *umnfzfu, fu sunt mfrfu nlturn df tnnf. Gus df tut nm unsfr!nt fu curpul mfu. Fu plutfnm sun nultn ncpfrnn nltnrulun n sn!urnm uurnnn spnrntulun. Muzncn, rugcnunfn, tutul prfn mnn rfnl, mult mnn !nu. Nncn u durfrf, nncn u grn , nncn un trup .grfu/ nu dfrnn n duhul. Fu nm fzntnt, n dfudnt nm tnut, df cf nu n-n fust dnt fnfcrunn ncfst dnr, df cf n mud nurmnl trfnunf luptnt pfntru ncfnstn. )fn mnn muln nu s-nr ntunrcf nnpun! Fn nu nr schnmnn lnrgul n frumusffn spnrntulun cu strmtunrfn n cu suffrnnflf curpulun. *nr dnc nu mnn !ur s sf rfntunrc, sf rupf cnd!n ncfn frnghnf, cnrf mprfunfnz curpul cu duhul. &rnn ncfnstn munrf trupul, n fn nu mnn nu pusnnnlntntfn, s sf dfz!ultf n cuntnnunrf n s trnnsc, cffn, cf fstf cfl mnn nmpurtnnt, n stnrfn cnrf sf nfl fn. Ntuncn cnd fu mnm nflnt dnn nuu n curpul mfu, m-n lu!nt durfrfn dnn plnn. N durnt u !rfmf, pn cnd fu nm ncfput s-u stpnfsc. %lu nn nu s-n tfrmnnnt nc, n ncfnstn nsfmnn, c fu nm .lnpsnt/ cfl mult u umtntf df ur, dnr dup snmurnlf mflf, nm pftrfcurt nlturn df Mnchnfl mnn multf urf. *fcn ncfnstn frn dnffrfnn dnntrf tnmp. Nncftul cu ncftul nm ncfput s nflfg. ' stnrf df ffrncnrf s-n rspndnt n mnnf, nn cum fu nu nm mnn cunuscut-u. Fu nm prnmnt pusnnnlntntfn, s nntru n cuntnct cu lumfn dumnfzfnnsc, n fu nm ncfput, s nunfsc curpul mfu dffurmnt. Fl mn-n uffrnt ncfnst nns. Fr fl nu n fn gsnt cu nttn uurnn ncfst drum. 5 $n mnsn df nmnnz m-n hrnnt Frfd. Frn un nnnt nun, df uptsprzfcf nnn, dnr cu mnntfn unun cupnl df nsf nnn. Frn surdu-mut, n pncnunrflf snlf frnu nfpfnntf, dnr fl frn tut tnmpul prnftfnus, dn puntf c n cumnc. 'nul, cnrf nncnudnt nu sf plngfn. Fl sf ucupn dfsfurn df mnnf, fu frnm cu ntutfnunn cu drng n cumpnnnn sn. &f fl nu-l cunducfnu umnrflf. *fudnt n dnsprut nmngnnfn lun dnn fnn uchnnlur mfn. 'n rfgf sttfn n fnn mfn. Fl fdfn pf un trun df nur, ncun urnt df lnngunturnn, cnrf l !fnfrnu. %nln frn ct sf puntf df frumus nrnn nt. ' mns ffstn! frn nrnn nt, n sfr!nt, tutul frn mnnunnt. Nmngnnnlf sf schnmnnu rfpfdf. Fl prfn s fnf un rfgf ntrn nflfpt n drfpt, tun,

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cnrf n cfrfnu sfntul, prfnu s fnf mulumnn. Fl trfnunn s fn fust n funrtf dnrnnc, dfunrfcf ntr-u ncpfrf mnrf ln sf ddfn df mncnrf srncnlur n fn prnmfnu hnnnf n nltf lucrurn nmpurtnntf. Fu l !fdfnm cum sf rugn n l !fdfnm mfrgnd ln nnsfrnc. Nnsfrncn frn mnnunnt. Fl sttfn n lu n sn df rfgf n prnmfn cu un zmnft mnlustn! tuntf snlutrnlf slu nturnlur sn. 2ugcnunfn ct n purtnrfn sn nntfrnunr frn .drfnpt/. Fl n utn nnsfrncn dup tuntf putfrnlf snlf n sf mplncn cu tunt fnnnn. *fudnt n nprut un nrnnt, cnrf n stnt nprunpf nf!zut n fundnl. Fl frn snmplu mnrcnt, chnpul su frn ncun urnt df lumnn. Fl n !urnnt- "u ftn un rfgf, pf plncul lun *umnfzfu, nflfpt, drfpt, rndtur n plnn df drngustf. "u nu tf-nn rftrns df ln grfu n nu nn pncnt prnd nspntflur, cnrf !nn u dnt cu putfrfn n cu nugnn. Ncum ftn prfgtnt s n!fn ultnmul n cfl mnn grfu lucru, umnlnnn. Nmngnnnlf n pnfrdfnu culurnlf, n Frfd sttfn dnn nuu n fnn mfn. Fl mn zmnfn n mn-n ngnt n gur u lnngur plnn df snlnt df cnrtufn. Fu putfnm !fdfn prnn fl, putfnm !fdfn spnrntul su n m-nm untnt ntrfntur sprf fl. Fl n dnt dnn cnp n n ncfput s zmnfnsc. Ncum tnnm df cf m snmfnm nn df nnnf n prfzfnn lun. Nun nf nsfmnnm funrtf tnrf n .dfstnnul/ pf cnrf l n!fnm. 3 'rmturul tnmp n trfcut rfpfdf. Fu m rugnm mult n m ndncfnm n mfdntnnf. Fu prnmfnm prnn ncfnstn nn df mult putfrf, c dfsfurn nu mnn snmfnm nncn un ffl df durfrf. Funrtf prfcns sf snmfn cum curgfn !nlul df fnfrgnf pfstf cnp n spntf. Frn, df pnrc n fn stnt ntr-un cnrcunt df curfnt. Mulumnrf, ffrncnrf n pncfn s-nu nnstnlnt, pfntru cn s nu m mnn prsfnsc n !fcn. Nprunpf nncnudnt! Fu putfnm snmn curfntul, cnrf curgfn n sus n n us prnn culunnn mfn !frtfnrnl. Fl sf furmn n rurn mnrn, pfntru n df!fnn cfntrf df putfrf n rfzfr!f df fnfrgnf. Fu m gndfnm ln u crucf dnn lumnn strlucntunrf, cnrf frn nlnmfntnt df ncfstf cfntrf. )um mn-n spus Mnchnfl, frn tut tnmpul nculu, cnd fu mn-u nmngnnnm. )u tuntf ncfstfn nm fust surprnns, cnd dup un tnmp nm putut ntr-ndf!r s !d ncfn crucf. *f n df mnn mult !rfmf nm unsfr!nt, c umnrflf cflurlnn, ntuncn cnd !fnfnu sprf mnnf, sf ddfnu nnpun cn n curfntnn n nu putfnu s sf nprupnf mnn tnrf df mnnf. Ncum !fdfnm, c ncfst lucru sf dnturn crucnn. 2nzflf fn mpnngfn umnrflf nnpun. Nn nm putut s mnn unsfr!, c muln cupnn df!fnfnu mnn lnnntnn n nprupnfrfn mfn. )hnnr n surflf, cnrf frnu .nfcumfstnnnlf/, df!fnfnu n nprupnfrfn mfn mult mnn pnnncf. )hnnr n ndmnnnstrntunrfn n rfunt n ultnmn !rfmf, s !urnfnsc cu mnnf snu s-mn ntunrc pngnnnlf crnn mflf. *n, prfn chnnr s-n fnc plcfrf, s stfn un tnmp n nprupnfrfn mfn. Ncum tnnm fu n df cf! 3 Nntr-u dnmnnfn n ncfput Nfn nmnn s fnc u crnz. Fl lu!fn cu cnpul fr ntrfrupfrf zndul, nprunpf c nncn nu putfnn s prn!ftn n ncfn dnrfcnf. Fl n!fn dfsfurn ncfstf crnzf. )urpul nu n frn dfluc dffurmnt n df multf urn prfn s fnf ct sf puntf df nurmnl. F!ndfnt frnu dunr uffrtflf snlf f,ngfrntf df n utur, n tnmp cf frn ntt df nfndfmnntnc, c fnfcnrf, dnc frn pusnnnl, rfnunn ln n uturul lun, n ncfst lucru l fcfn s fnf funrtf trnst. %nmurnlf snlf rfcfpnunnu df fnfcnrf dnt ncfnstn. *f n tut ln ctf!n znlf n!fn ncfstf crnzf. *f unncfn durnu u ur pnn ln duu urf n l unusfnu. *up ncffn sttfn urf n nr n suspnnn, dnr nu prfn s nnn durfrn mnrn. *f dntn ncfnstn frn cn un nnnmnl slnntnc. )n n mncn spnrndun sttfnu nfnumrntf umnrf pf cfnfn sn n l lu!fnu cu pumnn n l nnu. Nnmfnn nu putfn s-l lnnntfnsc, pn cnd dfudnt mn-n trfcut prnn mnntf u ndff. Fu nm nfznt n nntfrnurul lun u crucf df lumnn, mn-nm chnpunt-u ct sf puntf df nntfnsn! n nm nlnmfntnt-u cu gndurnlf mflf cu fnfrgnf. Fu putfnm !fdfn, cum df!fnfn dnn cf n cf mnn mrfn, pn cnd n strlucnt pfstf tut. 'mnrflf sf mputrn!fnu, m nmfnnnnu, dnr nu frnu dfstul df putfrnncf. *f nnnnu n-nu pnfrdut n ultnmul fchnlnnru, n Nfn nmnn n df!fnnt dnn nuu lnnntnt. Fl n fust unusnt n suspnnn ncft. &fntru prnmn unr nm df!fnnt cuntnfnt df putfrfn spnrntulun. n putfrfn, cnrf u n!fnu ncfstf fnnnf, ct n putfrfn pf cnrf u putfnm fulusn mputrn!n lur. 0n f,tfrnur nu n unsfr!nt nnmfnn nnmnc. F!ndfnt frn cfl mult fnptul, c crnzn lun Nfn nmnn s-n tfrmnnnt nn df rfpfdf. Fu nm fust nfschnmnnt n f,tfrnur. *nr m-n custnt mult putfrf. Fu frnm unusnt, n n durnt mnn multf urf, pn cnd nm fust n stnrf, s m umplu cu fnfrgnf prnn cnlfn mfdntnnfn. *f nnnn dup duu znlf mn-nm rf!fnnt cu tutul! &unn nfncfrfztunrf nm fust tutun, ntuncn cnd Mnchnfl mn-n pu!fstnt dfsprf luptn spnrntflur. Ncum ns nm trnt, ct df rfnl fstf ncfnst lupt, cu cf putfrf trfnunf ndus ln nun sfrnt. Fu n-nm mulumnt lun Mnchnfl, c mn-n dnt nmpulsul curfspunztur. Mnn lun prfn s sf pun cu tnndrff pf umrul mfu. Ncfstn n fust ncfputul, mn-n spus. )u tnmpul !fn n!n s lupn, fr s tf unusftn. *nr s nu df!n supfrfncnnl, s-n prn!ftn tut tnmpul n sfrnus! Fu m-nm nucurnt c frn nlturn df mnnf, n nn nm ndurmnt rfpfdf. Frn ntunfrnc n rfcf. &frfnn nfcnulun suntfrnn frnu umfzn. "rfn nrnnn nprunpf dfznrcnn frnu prnnn cu lnnurn df pfrftf. )hnpurnlf lur frnu plnnf df tfrunrf, unulnnnn n nltf ruztunrf lf-nu mncnt df n pncnunrflf. Npru,nmntn! dnn duu n duu sfcundf pncnu strupn df np pf cnpftflf lur dnntr-u fn! cunstrunt pfntru ncfst lucru. Fr ntrfrupfrf! Hnlf ntrfgn! %ptmnn ntrfgn! 'n nrnnt sttfn n fnn lur n zmnfn n dnrfcnn lur. "ut mfrgfn sprf runnnftul cu np, f!ndfnt n!nd nntfnnn s-l uprfnsc, pfntru n sf putfn nucurn dnn nuu, ln

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sclnpnrfn df spfrnn, cnrf n lumnnnt dnn uchnn fr f,prfsnf, pfntru n fn nlucunt dnn nuu df tfrunrf. *fudnt s-n nturs turnunnrul, nn cn fu s-n put !fdfn dnn plnn fnn. Fu nm znnfrnt df grunz. Frn Nfn nmnn! Mult tnmp n durnt n ncfn nunptf pn cnd fu nm ndurmnt dnn nuu. "ut tnmpul nu nprut dnn nuu ncfstf nmngnnn ngruzntunrf. *f cf( Fu nu putfnm s cfrcftfz ncfnstn n prufunznmf. Nncn un nnnnnl nu fstf cnpnnnl s chnnunf un nltul. Nncn mcnr pnsncn, cnrf sf unc cu unrfcflf, nu fncf ncfnstn dnn plcfrf, cn numnn dnn nnstnnct, pfntru c, cnrnfn fstf mnn dulcf ln gust dup ncffn. $n ncfnstn fstf unrfcflf ns nn df pnrnlnznt, c fl nu mnn snmtf nnmnc. )um puntf un um s nfptunnsc nn cf!n! )um puntf un um s sf nucurf df chnnurnlf nltunn! )f ffl df ndfprtnrf df ln *umnfzfu fstf nfcfsnr pfntru ncfst lucru! *nr *umnfzfu nu rfspnngf pf nnmfnn. Nncn pf ncftn unmfnn. )f ffl df mn luncf sunt nfcfsnrf, pfntru n dfschndf uchnn unur nsfmfnfn unmfnn, pfntru n lf fncf lnmpfdf grffnln fnptfn lur( % nprfcnfz ncfnstn, nu put! Numnn un snngur lucru l tnu sngur- Nu sunt nncnudnt pfdfpsf! )hnnr dnc n uchnn nftnuturn n nfncrfzturn nn lumnn nrnt ncfnstn nc funrtf mult nstffl. Nu sunt nncnudnt pfdfpsf, numnn ncurdrn df n utur, cnrf nrnt sprf dnrfcnn curfct, dnc cnnf!n fstf dnspus, s sf cunfurmfzf n s prfnn mfsn ul lur. Nstffl !rfn umul s sf fnc udfctur pfstf *umnfzfu. Fl sf snmtf nlfstfmnt snu cfl punn trntnt nfdrfpt n l n ur dnn cnuzn .pfdfpsfn/ grflf, pf cnrf n pus-u *umnfzfu nsuprn lun. $n ncfnstn numnn c nu fstf fl n stnrf, s !nd nuntntfn nfmrgnnnt n lun *umnfzfu, cnrf n fncf nstffl df-nnnn pusnnnl, s gsfnsc cnlfn curfct n tutun s-n pstrfzf !unnn lun lnnfr. Ncfnstn fstf mnrfn dnfncultntf. *nc n-nr fn !unnn lnnfr, ntuncn nr fn pfntru *umnfzfu un lucru uur, s-l nn pf ncfstn ln Fl ntr-u sfcund, fr suffrnn, fr chnn. *nr Fl nr fn dnstrus cu ncfnstn duhul su lnnfr pfntru tutdfnunn, nr fn fcut u fnnn lnnfr s df!nn un scln!. )nnf fstf n stnrf, s pfnsc pf cnlfn cfn ngust, cnrf ducf prnntrf dfcnznn lnnfr n !unnfn n nndmnsnnnln nnflufnnrf( )nnf puntf nprfcnn ncfnst drumfnf pf muchnf n cnnf puntf s fnc crntnc ln ndrfsn mn luncflur, pf cnrf *umnfzfu lf nng n lupt( *nc unul, crunn fu n ntnnd mnn, pfntru c n czut n np, nu !rfn s cuprnnd ncfnst mn dnn ngmfnrf, ntuncn fu tutun nu sunt df!nn, dnc fl sf lupt cu nnfcul. &fntru unul, cnrf plfnc dfpnrtf, puntf prunnnnl s pnr nn, df pnrc fu l-nm rfspnns. Numnn cfl cnrf st nprunpf puntf s mrturnsfnsc cuntrnrnul. *f cf nu-l crfdf nnmfnn( )upnlul puntf fn suprnt pf mnn, cnrf l trngf rfpfdf n dur dnn fnn mnnnnn cnrf sf nprupnf. ) fl n dnturfnz ncfstfn mnn !nnn, tnf numnn cfl cf !fdf - n cfl crfdnncnus. 3 Nfrn n murnt surn Grncnn. *f un tnmp ndflungnt fusfsf fn nunn!, fr s sf fn plns !rfudnt chnnr numnn punn. Fu tnnm, c fn n!fn durfrn putfrnncf, fu putfnm s-n !d nntfrnurul suffrnnd, cffn cf f,tfrnurul fn nscundfn smfrnt. "ut cf fcfn fn, frn u rugcnunf. "ut cf fcfn fn, fcfn fn pfntru *umnfzfu. Nntutdfnunn sf nfln fn ntr-u lfgtur duhu!nncfnsc cu Fl n n mulumfn pfntru suffrnnn, pf cnrf Fl n-u trnmnsfsf. n ntutdfnunn n!fn fn tnmp, n tutdfnunn gsfn fn cu!nntf nlnnttunrf pfntru fnfcnrf. *f n nnnntf cu u sptmn prf!zusf fn munrtfn fn. 'n ngfr n !fnnt ln fn n n-n spus- +nnu, "ntl tf ntfnpt! Nngfrul n-n mnn prsnt-u n ncfnst sptmn, n prfgtnt-u pfntru !nnn nuu, munrtfn trupulun n .nntfrfn/ duhulun. )u trfn urf nnnntf df munrtfn fn n lunsf fn rmns nun df ln tun, l rugnsf umnl pf prfut pfntru n u spu!fdn. 'ltnmflf fn cu!nntf sunnu cn u ntrnrf prnn urmnt- *rngustfn lun *umnfzfu fstf sfcrftul %u. %fcrftflf nu nu nncnudnt unncfnul s sf nflf pf us, pf strnd. *nr fnfcrunn, cnrf !nnf ln Fl n l rung pfntru ncfstfn, n fncf cunuscutf ncfstf sfcrftf. 2ul n ncunnt un ln cnmfrn $un cu trfn ncunfturn. )hfnlf ln ncfnstn sunt- drngustfn, smfrfnnn n rndnrfn. )u punn tnmp nnnntf df munrtfn fn nu nprut nln dun ngfrn. Fn nu lunt duhul fn df suflft n mn lucul lur n lnu rpnt, ctrf lumnn. ' dnstnn scurt nm putut fu s-n ncumpnnnfz, ntuncn nu dnsprut fn. Ncfnst nlnmf nc n-u putfnm urcn. &nsrfn n fust nnrn lnnfr# nsunt df trfn !ulturn n znurnt fn pn n cfl mnn nnlt cfr. Fn nu sf mnn ngrn fn df cucn munrt, pf cnrf tun u plngfnu. 3 Mnmn frn dfsfurn ln mnnf. *f un tnmp m !nzntn fn nprunpf fnfcnrf spmn. Fu frnm df nsfmfnfn ndfsfn ln fn n duh, !urnfnm mult cu fn, n ddfnm putfrf. Fu putfnm s n nzgunfsc umnrflf, cnrf u chnnunnu. $n ncfput df fnfcnrf dnt dnn nuu. )u tnmpul prfn fffctul s durfzf tut mnn mult, pn cf flf s-nu rftrns ntr-u nun zn pf dfplnn. *rngustfn crfscusf n fn n furmn mprfun cu rugcnunfn u nfurnrf prutfctunrf n urul fn. Nntrndf!r n fust fn tut tnmpul nnrn cunturnnt df ncfstf duhurn rflf, cnrf u nfc fnu cu ntncurnlf lur n cu dunnnlf lfn, dnr s sf stnnnlfnsc nu mnn putfnu flf. n drngustfn tntlun nfptunsf udnt ncflnn lucru n n prucurnsf ndfsfn lnnntf pfntru un tnmp scurt, urf, n cnrf fn frn funrtf ffrnct cu tntn. % nngf df sfnm tuntf ncfstfn nu putfn mnmn. *nr fn snmfn lfgturn, pf cnrf u cunstrunsfm ctrf fn. Fn l-n prflunt ncum pf *umnfzfu n !nnn fn, gsnsf n sfrnt cf!n pncf. *nr trfcutul fn u chnnunn mfrfu. 2fpruurnlf u fcfnu s suffrf. Nntr-u dup nmnnz s-n prnunt fn, plngnd.

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Fu n-nm fcut nf n tntlun !nnn nn df grfn. Fu nm fust nn df fr drngustf n fgunst )um s put fu s ndrfpt ncfnstn !rfudnt( )u ct df mult drng n-n fn nnut ncum mnmfn un dnscurs lung dfsprf drngustfn lun *umnfzfu, cnrf nu trfnunf nncnudnt s nfrtf, pfntru c fn n-n ncuznt nncnudnt. *nr pfntru ncfst fnpt nu frnm fu n stnrf. )tf!n gndurn nlnnttunrf putfnm fu s-n fnc nflfsf, n ncfnstn mfrgf df n dfstul df grfu. *nr fu tnnm, cf !urnfnm fu cu fn n duh, ncfst lucru durn prunnnnl punn mnn mult, pn cf n pfn n cuntnfntul fn, dnr ntuncn df!fnfn nstn pruprnftntfn fn. Ncfnstn !fnfn ntuncn dnn .nntfrnur/ n putfn df ncffn s fnf nflfns mult mnn rfpfdf dfct gndurn strnnf n duscunn nurmnl. )t df dfs nu n nu unrnn gndurnlf n !un nn!, spusf Mnchnfl u dnt. )fn mnn muln nu put dnstnngf gndurn strnnf df cflf pruprnn. Nngfrul !ustru fstf ncuntnnuu ucupnt cu fnptul, df n ! nntruducf gndurn, cnrf ! nrnt cnlfn cfn ndf!rnt. Ncfnstn fstf cffn, cf fstf ndfsfn numnt cn scrupulf. *nr ct df uur sunt ncfstfn nnrnn nruncntf cu uurnn! 'n ngfr tutun nu nrf putfrfn, s ! unlngf sprf nnnf, fl dunr nu puntf punf !unnn !unstr n nfnrn strnn df funcnunf. &f df-u pnrtf uptfsc umnrflf nfncftnt nsuprn !unstr, ! cunfnrm n !ncnnlf n pntnmnlf !unstrf, ! ndfnmn sprf fnptf runnunsf n crnmf, ln cnrf flf sf dfsftfnz ntuncn. *f cf nscult numnn nn df muln cu nun-!unn df flf( Nncn ncfstfn nu sunt tutun gndurnlf lur pruprnn. Fu trfnunf s-n fnu tntlun nfsfrnt df mulumntunrf, c fl n rmns ln mnnf! Mnmn m lunsf nnrn nnpun dnn !nsflf mflf. Fu nu n-n fn putut nnf cu prfrf df ru, dnc fl s-nr fn dus, dnc fl n-nr mnn fn putut supurtn !nnn cu ncfnst ffmfnf ncpnnt, fr drngustf. *nr fl frn ncfln, cnrf mn-n prfgtnt cnlfn cu drngustfn lun. Fr fl n-n fn gsnt cnlfn nnpun ln *umnfzfu. Fu nm n !nsnt tut tnmpul nnrn dfsprf tntn, n fl fstf mfrfu nn df nunntur n rndtur cn nnnntf. *n, un mfsn frn drngustfn. Fl !urnfn dfsfurn n duh cu mnmn, cum mn pu!fstnsf Mnchnfl ndfsfn. Nu cuntnfnt, cum putfnm fu s-u fnc ncum. *rngustfn fncf ncfnstn nutumntnc. n mfsn ul fn n ungf tutdfnunn ln dfstnnnnf, chnnr dnc nstn durfnz ctfudnt pfntru nununnlf nunstrf nfsfrnt df mult, dn chnnr n ntuncn, cnd pfntru nun nu df!nnf !nznnnl nnsulut nncn un succfs. )nd!n udnt sunt mprf urrnlf fn!urnnnlf, ntuncn nns rsndul. Nun trfnunf dunr s dm drumul prnn clcnrf ln!nnflur nunstrf mncn. Mnrn df!nn flf ntuncn snngurf. )t df muln cfdnu nstzn ntt df rfpfdf n sf dfspnrt, pfntru c nnmfnn nu lf puntf prftnndf, s trnnsc mprfun cu .nn cnnf!n. Fn nu mnn sunt dnspun, s nduc frtff, s dfn un pns nnpun snu prunnnnl s n slu fnsc u dnt. Fn nu mnn sunt dnspun, s cunsnmt cu cfllnlt, s-l nccfptf pf dfplnn, s-l n utf ln rfzul!nrfn prunlfmflur snlf. 'rnnn df fgunsmul lur pruprnu !d fn numnn grfflnlf snlf Ann znsfB. *rngustfn n df!fnnt dfmudnt- nuturfnlnznrf sf numftf cu!ntul df df!nz! n ln ncfnstn fstf cfllnlt tutun numnn stn fnntur. Fl fstf dunr .fulusnt/ cn un unnfct, nn df dfpnrtf pf ct sfr!ftf fl pruprnnlur nntfrfsf n durnnf - n dup ncffn fstf nnrn nruncnt. Frn nn df frumus df n !fdfn, cum mnmn sf schnmnnsf. Fn sf rugn mult n n n utn pf cfnlnln nn df mult pf ct putfn. $ucrurn mntfrnnlf nsfmnnu pfntru fn cu mult mnn punn dfct nnnntf. *nr ncfstfn nu frnu numnn .cumurn pfntru cfr/, pf cnrf fn lf ndunn. n nncn n ncum n mfrgfn prnn ncfnstn df n cu mult mnn nnnf. Fn n df!fnnt mnn mulumnt. $n tunt muncn n suffrnnn sllunn tutun u ffrncnrf tcut n fn. "ntn sf nucurn cu sngurnn funrtf mult df ncfst fnpt. Fl n-n nrtnt n !ns, cn fn s nu nnn nustnlgnf dup fl n gndurn, cn s sf ucupf df fnptul, cn frnnn mfn, cnrf frnu ncum nmndun df n mnturn n n!fnu fnmnlnn pruprnn, s punt gsn tut nn cnlfn cfn drfnpt. *f mult rndnrf n drngustf !n fn nf!unf pfntru ncfst lucru. 6 Nnc u dnt nnrn trfnunn fu s fnu dus spfntru nnnlnzf n clnnnc, ntr-u clnnnc unn!frsntnr, n cnrf n-nm mnn fust nncnudnt. Fu !runnm mnn ntn s m upun, nm rfnlnznt ns ncun, c fu nu n!fnm nncn u nns# nstffl m-nm dnt fu n mnnnlf dfstnnulun mfu. *nn tnmpul nccndfntulun nu mnn pnsfm n nncn u clnnnc, n ncfnstn n fust n urm cu u grmnd df nnn. *f n df dfpnrtf m-n cuprnns un sfntnmfnt ru. Ntuncn cnd nun nfnm nflnt n fnn purnn, m-nm spfrnnt fu funrtf tnrf. &fntru prnmn dnt df cnd putfnm .!fdfn/, m-n cuprnns u frnc df nfdfscrns. Frn u nmngnnf df cnus. *uhurnlf murnlur n !nn, nlf nnnmnlflur n unmfnnlur, tuntf df!fnnsfr u mns n fnfrnfrf, nfngr. &fstf tuntf sf nfln un nmfns strngt df n utur duhu!nncfsc. )um n frn cun!n pusnnnl, s lucrfzf nncn, fr s fnf strn!nt df ncfnstn( *uu znlf trfnunn s rmn nncn, mn spusfr fn. Fu trfmurnm cu tut trupul. Nu-mn frn pusnnnl s mfdntfz. Fr ncftnrf m lu!fnu umnrf, nu-mn lsnu nncn cfl mnn mnc luc df lnnntf. Fu l-nm rugnt pf Mnchnfl dup n utur, df-nnnn ntuncn mn-n rfunt, s-mn fnc cf!n spnnu lnnfr n lnnntf cu crucfn df lumnn. Nncnudnt nnrn nu mn-n mnn fust fffctul fn nn df lnmpfdf cuntnfnt cn nncn. 2nzflf fn crfnu un znd, cnrf m nfurn prutfctur. *nr sumnul nu frn pusnnnl. *f ndnt cf nm fust lsnt n pncf df ctrf ducturn, nm cutnt scpnrfn ln Mnchnfl. Muln trfnunf nncn s-n pftrfnc ntrfngn !nn! Fu m-nm untnt ndflung ln ducturn n ln sururn. )n prnzunnfrn ntr-u cntndfl n umnrflur nrtnu fn. *nn tuntf prnlf !fnfnu flf n trgfnu df fn, lf sugfnu tut dnn fn. )nnf !runn nncn s suprn!nfunnsc, trfnunn s nnn u ndf!rnt nntur df tnur - snu s fnf un sfnt. Fu putfnm s-n !d pf unnn dnntrf ncftn sfnnn. 2ugcnunfn n drngustfn n nfurnu cn un curt prutfctur. %mfrnn sfr!fnu fn tuturur, nnfnu tut tnmpul u nucnt df pncf n mnnnlf lur n u mprfnu tuturur, cnrf sf ntnndfnu s prnmfnsc ncfnstn. Nnflfgfrf, nuntntf n nlnntnrf n

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nfurnu n pf pncnfnnn lur ntr-u mnntnu prutfctunrf. Fnfrgnn, pf cnrf fn u fmnnnu mfrfu, curgfn fr nncftnrf cn ndnus dnn sffrn duhu!nncfsc-dumnfzfnfnsc, un nz!ur cnrf nncnudnt nu sfcn pfntru ncfln, cnrf rung n sf rung pfntru n prnmn ncfnstn. %un cnmfrn mfn trfnunn s sf nflf curtfn df dnnnnntf sprf nnd. Numnn cu prutfcnn lun Mnchnfl nm ndrznnt s m duc nculu. Frnu duhurnlf n zfcn df mnn df nnnmnlf, cnrf umplfnu ncpfrnlf cn u mnrf spumfgnd dnn lncrnmn, frnc n rfpru. Nncnudnt n-nm !zut fu lucrurn mnn ngruzntunrf, nncnudnt u suffrnn mnn mnrf. $n chnnurn nfnmngnnnnnlf trfnunnu ncfstf nnnmnlf s fn fust pusf. Frn nndul! )rfnt prnntr-unn dnntrf cflf mnn ngruzntunrf crnmf nlf umfnnrnn, !n!nsfcnn. )u trupul !nu, fr nnfstfznf fusfsfr multf dnntrf ncfstf nnnmnlf upfrntf. *nc f,nstn u cunl pfntru drncn, ncfnstn df nncn trfnunn s fnf. *uhurnlf nnnmnlflur, nltffl fnnf nn df !nunnf, frnu dfsfngurntf pn ln nfrfcununtfrf. *uhul nnnmnlflur nu sf nfl nncn pf dfpnrtf nn df strns n trup cn ln unmfnn. *f ncffn puntf un nnnmnl s supurtf mult mnn uur durfrn .nurmnlf/. 'n nnnmnl suffr df rfgul ln rnnrn n nuln nncn pf dfpnrtf nn df tnrf cn un um. unrfcflf, cu cnrf sf unc pnsncn, zfnrn, pf cnrf n prnns-u lful, muscn, cnrf n fust prnns df pnnn fn, flf nu suffr ln ncfnstn. *uhul lur sf dfprtfnz ntt df dfpnrtf df trup, c fl rmn nfturnurntf df ncfnstn. Numnn chnnurn nlf schnngnunrnlur nfumfnftn put ducf ln nnnmnl ln fnptul, c duhul su fstf n fl nnclus, c fl suffr chnnurn nlf nndulun n fstf n nn ffl df dfsfngurnt, cum fu nm gsnt ncfnstn nncn. *f cf( &fntru cf( 'n rspuns ln ncfstf ntrfnrn nu fstf pusnnnl. Nn cn n cum dnntr-un rznun nu puntf nncnudnt s nns pncf ndf!rnt n dnn nfnurucnrfn nlturn nncnudnt ffrncnrf ndf!rnt, nstffl nncn nu sf lns nncnudnt n!nns prnn sufrnnn nlturn pruprnn nunl. *nn durfrf, strmturnrf n munrtf - n snu f,nct ntuncn cnd fstf !urnn df nnnmnlf - nu puntf nncnudnt s fnf nscut sntntfn. Mfdncnmfntf n mftudf df upfrnnn, dfz!ultntf prnn f,pfrnfnf pf nnnmnlf, put fn ln prnmn !fdfrf plnnf df n utur ln multf nuln. &fr tutnl ns prncnnunfsc flf df n prnn fffctflf lur nd!frsf cu mult mnn mult pngun, dfct sunt flf untnlf, fcnd cu tutul nnstrncnf df urmrnlf duhu!nncfsc-suflftftn, cnrf cntrfsc nc cu mult mnn grfu. Munrtfn nu puntf crfn !nn. Ncfnstn fstf lfgf! $un Mnchnfl nsun nu-n frn uur s rmn lnnntnt. Nnc nncnudnt nu l-nm !zut nn df fmununnt. &fntru nfnumrnt df multf suffrnnf nlf umfnnrnn fstf rfspunsnnnl ncfnst crnm! Nntr-ndf!r nsntunt prnn ncfnstn n-n fust pn ncum nc nnmfnn! Nun nncn mcnr nu putfnm ncurdn n utur. Frn ngruzntur! Fu frnm nucuruns, s plfc nnrn rfpfdf df nculu, df us. *nr nmngnnnlf mn-nu rmns u !nn ntrfng n nmnntnrf. 'scnlnnnlf ngruzntunrf, cnrf sf rspndfnu dnn ncfst luc, nnfnu ntrfngn clnnnc cn prnzunnfr. 0n dnmnnfn urmtunrf nm fust cuntrulnt df ducturul %tfrn. *nn .grffnl/ frn tut ncfl ductur, cnrf m-n chnnunt dup nntfrfn, n prnmn mfn nntfrnnrf n spntnl. *nr df dntn ncfnstn nm rfunt s nnu sfntnmfntflf df ur n df rfpru, dn, nm rfunt chnnr s lf schnmn n drngustf. Fl fstf un prnnzunnfr nl mfsfrnfn snlf, mn-n spus Mnchnfl. Nnn ntrfgn, df n df cnd n-n ncfput spfcnnlnznrfn fstf f,pus ncfstur !nnrnnn. Fl nsun n trfnunt s fnc f,pfrnfnf pf nnnmnlf. *f muln nnn n sf spunf, c npnrntflf sunt snngurflf, pf cnrf fl sf puntf nnzn. *f nntunnf nu !urnftf nnmfnn. *umnfzfu fstf n cfl mnn nun cnz !nlnnnl pfntru crnlf df pu!ftn. Ncfnst cunl nu lns u nlt nltfrnntn!. 'nt-tf cu ntfnnf ln ducturul %tfrn. Fl nu fstf ru. Fl fstf cun!nns, c fncf cffn cf fstf drfpt. Fl fstf cun!nns, c puntf !nndfcn. )nnf n n!nt u spfcnnlnznrf cum fstf n sn, s nnn ncrfdfrf dunr n npnrntf, cnnf n n!nt, s sf untf dunr ln pnrtfn nulnn! n nu ln ntrfgul um, cnnf n n!nt, c nu sf cndf s n nrntf sfntnmfntflf, cnnf fstf dup ncffn nruncnt fr *umnfzfu n spntnl, fstf f,pus pfrmnnfnt !nnrnnnlur nnmncntunrf n nfgntn!f, cnnf .nfn/ .sngflf/ nnnmnlflur df f,pfrnfn, pfntru cnnf df!nnf suffrnnn u nurmnlntntf, cum puntf ncfln s df!nn sfntnmfntnl n s-n nrntf drngustfn( Nntrfnn-tf mnn nnnf cum fstf pusnnnl, c f,nst nc ntt df muln, cnrf nu mfrs prnn ncfnst munr n nu lf sunt strnnf cu!nntflf drngustf n n utur, cnrf put s snmt n ln tutul cf trfnunf s fnc, !d nc ntrfgul um n fnn lur. 0n fn n prnmnt *umnfzfu df n u lucunn, chnnr dnc fn dfsfurn nu tnu ncfst lucru. "f cust ncum mult curn df snnf, s tf nturcn nnpun n curpul tu n s nccfpn cunsultnnnlf ncflfn durfrunsf, fu tnu ncfst lucru! *nr s nu tf mnn nturcn nnpun, nr nsfmnn ln ffl cn n u snnucndfrf. "u nn nflfs ncum, c durfrfn n suffrnnn nu fstf nncnudnt fr sfns. Flf chnnunfsc curpul ntr-ndf!r, dnr punrt tutun ntutfnunn un mfsn . *f unncfn sun nn- Nntunrcf-tf! "u tf nfln pf drumul grfnt! nnf-tf dup urdnnfn drfnpt n lun *umnfzfu, n f-n grn n rffrntunrf ln !nlurnlf spnrntunlf! )nnf !rfn s-n nghfsunf spnrntul n mntfrnn strmt, cnnf l furfnz, s sf ucupf df sntnsfncfrnlf trupftn, cnnf n nlfgf nlnmfntflf dunr dup gustul su, cnnf n rpftf spnrntulun su lnnfrtntfn prnn dfpfndfnf, ncfln nu nrf !unf s sf mnrf c spnrntul su suffr. Nunln n suffrnnn sunt un strngt df n utur nl spnrntulun n n!frtnzfnz umul, cn fl s sf ntunrc. "nnlftflf n npnrntflf nu put !nndfcn, dn - flf nncn mcnr nu nu !unf! %fnsul !nfnn nu fstf, s trfcn prnn tuntf cu un curp sntus. "rfnunf s ! dfn mnn mult ucnznn, s prugrfsnn spnrntunl, s ! dfschndfn drngustfn. Nculu undf dumnn urn, suprnrfn, cfnrtn, nfmulumnrfn n nn!ndnn, nu puntf s rmn un curp sntus. Ncfstf !nnrnnn ndncn n nfgntn!f schnmn n nn ffl !nnrnnnlf pruprnn nlf curpulun, c ncfstn sf mnuln!ftf. Nu fstf u pfdfnps, cn un strngt df n utur- )f!n nu fstf n rfgul! *unr schnmnnrfn gndnrnn, ntunrcfrfn, l puntf nsntun dnn nuu. "nnlftflf put s nmflnurfzf, dnr flf nu put s !nndfcf! )nnf sf lns .mncnt/ df frncn sn, ncfln s fnf mulumnt, ntuncn cnd nunln l n!frtnzfnz n !rfn s-n spun- "u nu ftn curpul tu, tu ftn spnrntul tu, nu-n fncf grn n df curpul tu! % nu-n fnf tfnm dnn cnuzn lun, flf fstf fr nncn u nmpurtnn! Nndrfnpt-n duhul sprf

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*umnfzfu, n tfnmn sf !n f!npurn, dfunrfcf nu !n mnn fn nfcfsnr! *unr trfnunf nflfs ncfst mfsn ! "rfnunf s !rfn s-l nflfgn! Nunln nu fstf nncnudnt dnn grffnl, fn nu fstf pru!ucnt df nnctfrnn n !nrun. Nuln nnffcnunsf n lu!ftf rnrfurn pf unnn. F,nst sufncnfnn unmfnn, cnrf nu suprn!nfunt lfprfn n cnumnn, cu tuntf c n-nu n utnt pf cfn nulnn!n, fr n fn ntr-un ffl prutf nn! *rngustfn fstf un scut sufncnfnt. )ffn cf dfclnnfnz nunln fstf pruprnn cumpurtnrf grfnt, nclcnrfn urdnnnn dumnfzfnftn. *f nnnn ntuncn df!nnf pruspfr tfrfnul pfntru nnctfrnn n !nrun. *nr dnn pcntf mn urntntfn nu pnfrdut ncfnst lfgtur. Fn nncn mcnr nu mnn sunt cnpnnnln, s rfcununsc sfmnflf cflf mnn f!ndfntf. %N*N fstf unul dnntrf ncfstf sfmnf. Fnfcnrf tnf, c, df rfgul, sf puntf mnuln!n lumfn df fn dunr ntuncn, dnc n dnu fru lnnfr durnnffn trupftn, n sf,unlntntf dfplnsnt snu n dfpfndfnn df drugurn. n n luc s nlturf mutn!flf, s sf ntunrc nnpun n urdnnfn dumnfzfnnsc, sf cnut pusnnnlntn, s duc drumul mnn dfpnrtf n cu tut fflul df mn luncf n flfmfntf df sngurnn s scnpf df nn znsn .pfdfnps/. *nc nr fn ncfnstn u pfdfnps, ntuncn nu nm putfn fn df ncurd, dnr nm putfn s nflfgfm. )cn sf puntf uculn u pfdfnps, dnc unnn nfnrm cu !ucfn tnrf, c sunt ntt df nntflngfnn. *nr pfdfpsf nu f,nst! Fstf dunr u urmnrf n trnnulun df !nn grfnt. n ncfnstn nu sf !n putfn uculn df ffl. *nr cfl trznu ntuncn, cnd tuntf nfnrnlf sunt nfundntf, cfl trznu ntuncn fn !ur unsfr!n, c f,nst un drum mnn snmplu, cnrf cunducf tut tnmpul sprf succfs- s sf ntunrc n s rfcununsc dnn nuu urdnnfn dumnfzfnnsc. )um puntf !nndfcn un ductur u nunl dnc nu-n cununtf cnuzn( Fstf npru,nmntn! nn, cn n cum cnnf!n nr ncfnrcn s f,tfrmnnf u crtn , prnn fnptul c n dnstrugf muurunul. Mnnf n !n dn dnn nuu ucnznn s-u fnc. *nc nstzn .!nndfcn/ stumncul, mnnf !n fn nffctnt nnnmn, snu nntfstnnul, snu ...! "u pun dnstrugf urnctf muurunnf !rfn, sf !ur nfnnnn tut tnmpul nltflf. Nncftfnz dunr ntuncn, cnd crtnn fstf prnns. *f ncffn !nndfc-n spnrntul! n ntuncn tu nu mnn trfnunf s-n fncn grn n dnn prncnnn trupulun! )hnnr n muln dnntrf cfn cf !nndfc spnrntul mfrg drumul grfnt. *nc n lnn pf ncftn nrlntnnn dfupnrtf, ntuncn muln sf lnmntfnz s !nndfcf cu duhul curpul. *unr punnn sunt n stnrf, s nlturf cnuzflf spnrntunlf. *unr ncfst lucru cunducf sprf u !nndfcnrf pfrmnnfnt. *nc cfrf unul muln nnnn pfntru muncn sn, ntuncn tu pun s fn sngur, c nu nrf putfrfn dumnfzfnnsc, cu cnrf fl tf !nndfc. *nrurn spnrntunlf nu sf put !nndf. *umnfzfu nu sf lns pltnt n unfltflf snlf nncn ntt. Ncfst lucru fstf !nlnnnl pfntru tuntf dnrurnlf spnrntunlf. *nc cnnf!n n prnmnt df ln *umnfzfu hnrul, cn fl s punt !fdfn snu s snmt n !nntur, ntuncn ncfstn l !n drun, ndnc l !n dn dunr cn s sf punt ntrfnnf. Nnnnn sunt cfn mnn nun n cfn mnn ffncnfnt dfscupfrnrf n dnn!ululun, n cnnf sf unc cu fucul, nu nrf !unf s sf mnnunfzf, dnc sf nrdf dnn grffnl ln dfgftf. )t df punnn sunt cnpnnnln, s gsfnsc cnuzn n s !nndfcf ntr-ndf!r duhul! Muln cnrf !nndfc duhul, ct n ductrurn, nfnrm c fn put !nndfcn nnsulut tutul. Mulumnt *umnulun nu sunt fn cnpnnnln df ncfnstn! Fn nr lun ntuncn umulun ultnmn nns, cnrf n-nr furn ntunrcfrfn. &fntru muln n fust nunln lur mutn!ul, prnn cnrf fn nu rfnunnt ln tut cf fstf mntfrnnl n s-nu ndrfptnt sprf *umnfzfu. %nu cf s-nr fn ntmplnt, dnc Nnnndn 2nmn tf-nr fn !nndfcnt( Fl n-nr fn lunt cf!n! *funrfcf pfntru tnnf fstf nmpurtnnt ncfnstn/nunl/, dn /fstf !ntnl/. Fn n df!fnnt cfl mnn nun prnftfn nl tu. Fr ncfnst nunl nu nn fn n!ut nnsn, s tf dfz!uln mnn dfpnrtf. *nstrncnnlf, grnnn n lfnfn tf-nr fn cuprnns n n-nr fn nlucnt drumul spnrntunl. n fr ucnznn df n n!n umnlnnn, drngustfn n rndnrfn, nu tf-nn nfln tu nstzn nncn. %nu unt-tf ln cfnlnn hnndncnpnn, pf cnrf tu n cunutn df n. &fntru tun fstf nmpurtnnt .nunln/ lur, fn n nrf rustul fn! *n - fnfcnrf dnntrf nun putfn s fnf mulumnt pfntru nunln sn, cnrf uffrfn spnrntulun mn luncflf cn fl s sf dfz!ultf n s n!ff, cffn cf un .um sntus/ n!n dunr funrtf grfu. Fstf u trfnpt df dfz!ultnrf. )um un fluturf trfnunf s fnf ntn u umnd, pfntru cn s sf punt dfz!ultn, nn npnrf n n dfz!ultnrfn umulun un punct, undf u nunl fncf pusnnnlf f,pfrnfnf, cnrf nltffl nu sf put fncf. &fntru unul sntus, cnrf nu !rfn, s sf untf n spntflf lucrurnlur, put s sunf ncfstf cu!nntf punn cnudntf. *nr spnrntul st pfstf tuntf. 3 Mntthnns nrf df nnnn cnncn nnn, n fstf pnrnlnznt spnstnc n surdu-mut. Ntuncn cnd fl n !fnnt ln nun, mn s-n .prfzfntnt/ mnf nn- Nm n!nt s n ut. Fstf cf!n frumus, cf!n sntnsfctur. Fstf nnnf, dnc pun n utn pf cnnf!n. Ncum trfnunf s n!, cn fu s m lns n utnt. Ncfst lucru fstf cu mult mnn grfu. 0n ncflnn tnmp put s lf dnu nlturn pusnnnlntntfn s n utf. *n, s tf lnn n utnt, fstf cu mult mnn grfu, dfct s n un. *nr fnfcnrf, cnrf !rfn s n utf, nrf nf!unf df cnnf!n, cnrf fstf prfgtnt, s sf lnsf n utnt. n f,nct ncfstn fstf mutn!ul n multur nuln. &rnnnn lun nu nu !rut s fnf n prfn mn lur u nstffl .df pucntnnnf/. &n ncum s-n ucupnt nunncn sn cu mult drngustf df fl, n-n dnt cldurn nfcfsnr unun um cu hnndncnp, cu tuntf c fn frn funrtf grn! nulnn! n df nnnn mnn putfn s mfnrg. %nu puntf c chnnr dnn ncfst mutn!( *f ln Mnchnfl tnnm, c u nstffl df lfgtur, cum nu cunstrunt-u fn dun, !n nnf pf !fcn. Nncn u furtun nu u !n putfn rupf !rfudnt. Ncfstfn sunt fructflf spnrntulun, pf cnrf nun trfnunf s lf ndunm nncn, pfntru n putfn trn dnnculu cu flf. Nnnn nu n putut pn ncum s nn nnmfnn cu fl. *nr ncum n n!ut !unf nunncn lun s prsfnsc ncfst pmnt. Nn n n uns Mntthnns ln nun. %pnrntul su frn mnn lnnfr dfct ln cfnlnln. Fu putfnm s m .nflfg/ nnnf cu fl, chnnr n ntuncn cnd fl frn trfnz. *uhul multur unmfnn cu hnndncnp nu fstf nn df strns lfgnt df curp, cn n ln unmfnnn .nurmnln/. Ncfstn fstf n mutn!ul, c muln dnntrf fn nu snmt nn df tnrf durfrfn, cn n unmfnnn .nurmnln/. %pnrntul lur fstf mnn

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dnstnnnnt, fl nu trfnunf s sf ndfntnfncf cu curpul, dfunrfcf durnnflf lumftn, mntfrnnlul, grnnn n strfsul nu l unlng. Ncfstfn sunt unflf dnn ncflf .drfpturn/ pf cnrf un um cu hnndncnp lf nrf. *nr pf df nlt pnrtf fn supurt multf lucrurn. &fntru snnf, pfntru n nnnntn u nucnt pf drumul lur grfu, dnr n pfntru nlnn, cn s lf dfn ucnznn cn s n utf n s lf dfschnd uchnn cu mfsn ul lur mutNu curpul fstf cffn cf !nlurfnz, fl fstf nmpfrffct n trfctur, nmpurtnnt fstf s pun trfcf pfstf fl. *unr duhul rmnf pf !fcn, nmpurtnnt fstf s-l lnn s crfnsc!

3 Nnrn nm pnt nlturn df Mnchnfl drumul strmt df pdurf n us, pf lng cnscndn df np, sprf mncul lnc, lng cnrf sttfnm nun dfsfurn. &fntru prnmn unr nm unsfr!nt, c flurnlf frnu ntutdfnunn nflurntf, pumnn n!fnu ntutdfnunn fructf, frn tut tnmpul plcut n cnld, tutul frn mnnunnt, fr cn fu s fn unsfr!nt !rfudnt c pluun. Ntuncn cnd fu m-nm gndnt funrtf nnnf ln ntrfnnrf, pfntru cn fu s nu m nlnmfz prfn tnrf, n ncfput Mnchnfl s-mn zmnfnsc. Nu f,nst nnrn ln *umnfzfu. "utul fstf plnn df !nn. Nntutdfnunn! Nnmnc nu fstf trfctur, nnmnc nu sf puntf ufnln. "utul fstf ntutfnunn n flunrfn !nfnn. &lunnn, sunrflf n hrnnn fstf nfcfsnr dunr pfntru lumfn mntfrnnl. $umfn spnrntunl fstf 7rnstus ntru tutul. &utfrfn %n ptrundf n tutul, df ln Fl trnftf tut cf fstf. %urn Gnrcnn nr putfn s-n pu!fstfnsc ctf cf!n. ' mn m-n ntnns uur pf umr. Fu m-nm nturs. 'n ngfr tnr sttfn n fnn mfn. %urn Gnrcnn, cum nn n uns nncn! Fn n ncfput s zmnfnsc. Ncfst lucru tf-n putfn ntrfnn n fu pf tnnf. *n, ncfst lucru frn ndf!rnt. Mnchnfl, df mult nm !rut fu s tf ntrfn cf!n. Fu cunusc ncum ctf!n fflurn df nuln. %fnsul lur, pusnnnlntnlf lur. *nr cf sfns n n!ut suffrnnn surfn Gnrcnn( Fn n n uns nn df dfpnrtf n lfgturn fn cu *umnfzfu, c nu n mnn n!ut nf!unf df nunl, pfntru n gsn drumul cfl nun. *n, ncfst lucru fstf ndf!rnt! $n *umnfzfu f,nst mnn multf pusnnnlntn, n ncfnstn fstf unn dnntrf flf. Fu nm n!ut !unf s sufr, drng Nnrnnrn. N fust u mnlustn!nrf dnn pnrtfn lun *umnfzfu. Nu pfntru mnnf nm rndnt fu, cn pfntru nlnn. Nn cum Nnsus n suffrnt n mnrf pfntru nun tun, nn nm n!ut fu !unf s sufr punn pfntru cn!n. n nu sunt chnnr ntt df punnn, cnrf sf rung pfntru ncfnst mnl n u n prnmfsc. %fcrftus s-n untnt fn ln Mnchnfl. Ncfstn n dnt nfnrmntn! dnn cnp. n tu ftn unn dnntrf ncfnn. Fu( *n! Nncn tu nu mnn nn nf!unf df durfrnlf tnlf pfntru dfz!ultnrfn tn. *nr tu lf supurn n lnnntf n cu df!utnmfnt. F,nct ncfnstn fstf, cf fu nm !rut s spun. *nr cum fstf pusnnnl( Fnfcnrf trfnunf s-n mfnrg pruprnul drum. Nu puntf s n sf sucutfnsc lun mfrntflf nlturn. Ncfst lucru nr nlturn dunr !unnn sn lnnfr. Fstf unul dnntrf sfcrftflf lun *umnfzfu, cnrf fstf funrtf grfu df nflfs. Nncn fu nu sunt n stnrf, s nflfg ncfnstn ntru tutul. )hnnr n cflf mnn nnltf duhurn nu tnu tutul. *uhurnlf crfsc tut tnmpul n nflfpcnunfn lur, n nfmrgnnntn nflfpcnunf n lun *umnfzfu fstf sufncnfnt pfntru !fcnn !fcnlur. *nr cffn, cf fn nu nflfg, ncffn nccfpt fn umnln n crfdnncnun. &rnn ncfnstn sf dnffrfnnnz fn fnurm df mult f df !un unmfnnn. Fn tnu, c put s nnn ncrfdfrf n *umnfzfu, c sf put nnzn pf Fl. *umnfzfu n-n pus nc nncnudnt !rfunn dnntrf lfgnlf %nlf n nfnrn !nlnnnlntnn, n Fl nncn nu !n fncf ncfnstn !rfudnt, nncn cfn mnn nfnsfmnnt. *fsngur nr fn Fl n stnrf df ncfst lucru, n dfsngur nr putfn Fl cu ncfnstn s grnfnsc funrtf nmfns dfz!ultnrfn fpturnn. *nr Fl nu fncf. Fl n crfnt pfntru fpturn %n lfgn clnrf n drfptf, n Fl sf nnf df ncfstfn. *nc nr fncf Fl u dnt u f,cfpnf, nncnudnt nnrn nu s-nr putfn nnzn fpturnlf $un pf dfplnn pf Fl. tnn tu ncum, cf nsfnmn n .crfdf/( "u pun dfcn s fnn pf dfplnn sngur, c Fl tnf s fulusfnsc rugcnunfn n suffrnnn, cnrf sunt frtfntf pfntru nlnn, n nn ffl, nct s fnf plnnf df n utur, fr n punf !unnn lnnfr n nfnrn !nlnnnlntnn. Nn ncrfdfrf n Fl! Fu frnm ffrncnt. 7nndncnpul mfu, ncfstn frn nmpurtnnt n nfcfsnr pfntru mnnf. Ncfst lucru l tnnm nnnf. *nr durfrnlf, cnrf nu df!fnnt n ultnmul tnmp tut mnn putfrnncf, m-nu chnununt cu dunnn. &fntru c fu nu putfnm nflfgf sfnsul lur, lf-nm cunsndfrnt n sfcrft df n cn fnnnd fr sfns. ', ct df nfncrfzturn suntfm nun tutun! Nndnr, dfunrfcf fu tnnm, c flf lf sfr!fnu nlturn cn n utur, m nucurnm fu dnn ncfnst cnuz. 0n ultnmul tnmp nm n!ut fu !unf s lf ncurd ctur!n n utur n nm putut s schnmn unflf lucrurn n mprf urnmfn mfn. Ntrnfn ndmnnnstrntunrf n-nm ndfprtnt pu!nrn fn. Fu trfnunn, cf-n drfpt, s m ucup fnfcnrf zn dnn nuu df ncfnstn, pfntru c fn nu frn nncn pf dfpnrtf ndfn uns df putfrnnc, s rfznstf ln ntncurnlf umnrflur. *nr fn fcfn ncuntnnuu prugrfsf mncn. Fn df!fnnsf mnn prnftfnuns, gntn s dfn n utur, cnd sf rugn, frn fn n n nntfrnur pnrtncnpnnt ln ncfnstn. Funrtf ncft, nprunpf nfunsfr!nt cunstrunsf fn un cmp n urul fn, cnrf nu mnn lsn nn uur s !nn ln suprnfn sfntnmfntf n gndurn nfgntn!f. Fn nu tnn mutn!ul, dnr fn ngn df sfnm, c frn cf!n df fn, cf n fcfn trfnnn mnn uunr. Ntuncn s-n trfznt nnnflf dnn fn, n fn lucrn cu tunt furn n cffn cf prn!fn pfrsunnn fn. "rfnnn n cffn cf prn!ftf pfrsunnn pruprnf, ncfnstn n-u puntf prflun nnmfnn df ln tnnf, ccn, nltffl, s-nr fn spus tutun cu !unnn lnnfr. Nntr-ndf!r sunt dfsfurn pnfdncn prfzfntf, cnrf pnr df nftrfcut. Nns, df ndnt cf ncfpf muncn n cffn cf prn!ftf pfrsunnn pruprnf, df ndnt cf fstf nntfprnns ncfrcnrfn sfrnuns, s tf

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schnmnn, s dnn sfntnmfntflf n gndurnlf nfgntn!f pruprnn n schnmnul drngustfn n pfntru Nnsus 7rnstus, ntuncn n fstf cnnf!n df fn, cnrf nlung pnfdncnlf dnn cnlf. &runnnnl nu mnnf, prunnnnl nncn pun-mnnf. )tfudnt !n fn nfcfsnr, s rfzntn mult tnmp, pfntru c n !unnn n rndnrfn !ur s fnf nntrfnntf. Nnmfnn nu lf puntf prnmn cn cnduu. &unrtn df ln nchnsunrf, pf ncffn u !ur dfschndf nlnn, dnc u zgudunftn dfstul df mult tnmp. *nr dus nfnr nu !fn fn, trfnunf s mfrgn tutun snngur. 3 n FrDnn fcusf prugrfsf nmfnsf. Fl frn numnn uur hnndncnpnt curpurnl, suffrfn ns df u schnzufrfnnf prununnt, df ln nl trfnlfn nn df !nn nl su. Ncfnst dfspncnrf n pfrsunnlntnn frn nn df putfrnnc, c fl trfnunn mfrfu s nn mfdncnmfntf df lnnntnrf. &rnn ncfnstn df!fnfn fl ns nn df rfdus, c nu mnn frn n stnrf, s-n fulusfnsc mnntfn, s nn dfcnznn df unul snngur. Fl df!fnnsf un scln!. 0n stnrfn nurmnl frn fl un nnnt drgu, cnrf fcfn tutul pfntru nltcnnf!n. )nd n!fn crnzflf lun, frn fl Nnpulfun. Fnfcnrf frn dumnnul lun, n fl ntncn cu tuntf, cf n frnu ln ndfmn. Fnn lun, nfnnrfn lun, nn chnnr ntrfngn lun fnnn sf schnmnn df fnfcnrf dnt pf dfplnn. )hnnr n lnmnn sunn nltffl. )nd nm !zut fu pfntru prnmn dnt, cffn cf sf ntmpln nncn, nu !runnm s crfd ncfnstn. &rfn fnntnstnc frn cffn, cf !zusfm fu. Nncn nu mn-n fust lnmpfdf lfgturn lugnc. Nstffl, l-nm rugnt pf Mnchnfl dup un sfnt. "u nn !zut tutun curfct, mn rspunsf fl. %unt ntr-ndf!r duu duhurn, cnrf sf cfnrt pfntru trupul lun. *uhul nnntulun n un nltul, cnrf rfunsf, s sf trnnspun nn df tnrf n curp, c nnntul nu mnn puntf scpn df fl dnn putfrfn pruprnf. $n ncfnstn n nnu mfdncnmfntflf, pf cnrf trfnunf s lf nn mfrfu, nc n ultnmn nns df rfunt. *nr - cum fstf ncfnstn pusnnnl( &rnn nnumntf ntmplrn nmpurtnntf puntf duhul s sf ndfprtfzf funrtf dfpnrtf df trup. *nc ntuncn un nlt duh sf fncf n ncfst tnmp stpn pf trupul lun, puntf s sf ntmplf, c, ln rfnturcfrfn lun, fl nu mnn puntf s scnpf df unspftflf nfpuftnt. &rfdumnn ntuncn u lupt cuntnnu ntrf cfn dun. )nd unul ctng, ntuncn fl stnpnftf pfstf trup. )nd cfllnlt ctng pfntru un tnmp suprfmnnn, ntuncn trfnunf trupul s-l nscultf. *funrfcf tutun n rflnffflf curpurnlf sunt dfpfndfntf df duh, sf schnmn ntuncn ndfsfn n ntrfngn nfnnrf df nspfct n ncfstun um rfgrftnnnl. Numnn c nncn fstf sntunnn cn n ln tuntf- cffn cf nu !fzn, ncffn nncn nu crfzn. ' mnrf pnrtf dnntrf ncfnn, cnrf n duc f,nstfnn lur nlnnc prnn snnnturnnlf psnhnntrncf, fncf pnrtf dnntrf ncftnn. *fspncnrf n pfrsunnlntnn u numfsc psnhulugnn. Fn nncn mcnr nu tnu, ct df mult drfptntf nu fn cu ncfst cu!nt. F,nst n cnzurn, undf sf stnnnlnfsc duhul snu duhurnlf nn df putfrnnc n trup, c stpnul df drfpt nu mnn puntf nnsulut df luc s !nn nnpun. Nncn ncfnstn nu fstf nn df rnr. *nc duhul prsftf nncuntnfnt trupul, dfcn n sumn, nu sf puntf ntmpln nnmnc. "rupul fstf pznt cn un rfgf. Ncfnstn fstf unn dnntrf snrcnnnlf nunstrf. n nun suntfm df ncrfdfrf! *nc ns duhul sf dfprtfnz cuntnfnt df trup, ntuncn trfnunf n un nct cuntnfnt s-l prutf fzf! Ncfnstn fstf u lfgf n fstf n lfgtur cu dfcnznn lnnfr n !unnfn. *f ncffn fstf ntt df nmpurtnnt, cn tu s tf ngrn ftn df u prutfcnf nnnntf df fnfcnrf mfdntnnf- prnn rugcnunf n prnn crucfn df lumnn! F,nst n nltf pusnnnlntn, cnrf lf utnlnzfnz mnn nlfs !r nturnn df mngnf nfngr. Ncfstf duu sunt ns cflf mnn putfrnncf, n tu tf pun ntutdfnunn n pf dfplnn ncrfdf n ncfstfn. Muln nn numnn mfdnumn nu pltnt df n cu .pnfrdfrfn/ trupulun lur ncfnst nfgln nrf n mrfnn lur pruprnf snu n nfsucutnnn lur. +nnn, pf cnrf u punrt ntuncn cn .nfnunn/, nncn mcnr nu mnn mfrnt ncfst numf. Fstf u munrtf !nf, pf cnrf u suffr. Fu !rfnu s-n nrt, cnrf n fust ln FrDnn mutn!ul. 0n succfsnunn rnpndf nm !zut fu ntuncn nmngnnn dnn cupnlrnn lun. "ntl su n czut prnd nlcululun. Nntutdfnunn, cnd fl nfn, ntfn ntrfngn lun fnmnlnf, n pf mncuul FrDnn. *f duu urn fusfsf fl df n n spntnl dnn ncfnst cnuz, ln un nn n umtntf n ln dun nnn. &rnmn unr fusfsf fl prfsrnt df sus pn us cu !ntn# fl nr fn czut us pf scrn, sf spunfn. N duun unr n!usfsf fl rupt mnn - u cdfrf ln unc pf strnd. Ntuncn cnd fl cu cfn nprunpf trfn nnn nn sn fcfn n pnt nunptfn, s-n pnfrdut tntl su pf dfplnn cu fnrfn. Fl l-n ngnt n cndn df nnnf n npn rfcf n l-n nnut nn df mult sun np, pn cf df!fnnsf fl nncuntnfnt. Ntuncn s-n ntmplnt ncfnstn. *uhul su nu putusf suffrn ncfst uc n sf dfprtnsf dnntr-u dnt funrtf dfpnrtf df trup. Nndnr - unn dnntrf multflf umnrf, pf cnrf tntl su lf purtn mfrfu cu fl, s-n fcut df ndnt stpn pf trupul su. $un FrDnn n-n rfunt, cf-n drfpt, nc rfntunrcfrfn, dnr fl nu mnn frn snngur. Nncn urm df cnn n-n nrtnt tntl su. n ntnlf lf putfn fl ncupfrn. FrDnn n n uns ntr-u cns df cupnn, n cnzul n fust nchfnnt. )nncn sutf df mnn df cupnn sunt fnfcnrf nn mnltrntnn numnn n Gfrmnnnn, mn spusf Mnchnfl. *nntrf ncftnn trfnunf pfstf u sut df mnn ngrn nn stnnunnr n spntnl. Nns cflf mnn multf cnzurn sunt munmnlnzntf n sunt dntf drfpt nccndfntf. n ntuncn sunt unmfnn, cnrf nc l mnn numfsc pf dnn!ul u nfnnrf dnn pu!ftn ! ' nfnnrf dnn pu!fstf funrtf !nf, mn pnrf mnf. Nntrfntunrf nm prn!nt ln Mnchnfl# fl ddfn numnn dnn cnp, n df ntuncn m-nm ucupnt fnfcnrf zn nntfnsn! df FrDnn. Fu ncfrcnm s-l mnulzfsc n nfnr pf dumnnul lun, l-nm .mprucnt/ cu crucn df lumnn n nm n!ut succfs funrtf rfpfdf. *f n prnmn dnt n pnfrdut fl df ndnt stpnnrfn nsuprn trupulun. Fl df!fnfn !nznnnl tut mnn mult fr !lng. Nmputrn!nrfn lun pfrnudnc frn numnn u ntlnf df rftrngfrf. &unnf sptmnn dup ncffn s-n s!rnt. &f dfplnn ustfnnt trfnunn fl s sf rftrng. $umnnn n!nngf ntutdfnunn, mn spusf Mnchnfl, chnnr dnc ctfudnt durfnz mult, chnnr dnc ctfudnt sf rftrngf pf dfplnn, pfntru n n!fn ntuncn un cu ntt mnn mnrf succfs cu un ntnc prnn surprnndfrf.

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% spfrm, c fn sf ntunrcf ncun nnrn nnpun n ncfnst lumf! FrDnn n urncf cnz frn !nndfcnt. Nunlf mfdncnmftf n-nu fcut fffctul funrtf rfpfdf, frnu df prfrf ducturnn. &fntru sngurnn nr trfnun fl s lf mnn nn nc cn!n nnn, cn u rfcndn! s punt fn nlturnt. *nr nfgln fnn n dfzurdnnf nu sunt ntutdfnunn nfgntn!f. 0n ncfst cnz n-nu fcut lun FrDnn pusnnnl, s duc ncun u !nn dfstul df nurmnl. 7nndncnpul lun curpurnl uur nu nffn mnn dfpnrtf n f!ndfn. Fu frnm pfstf msur df nucuruns, numnn ntrfnnrfn *f cf m mnn prfucupn. ) nu f,nst cunncndfn, tnu fu, n c nu frn u pfdfnps, n pf ncfnstn u tnnm. )nd nf-n prnsnt FrDnn - fl mplnnnsf ntuncn !rstn df upstsprfzfcf nnn n putfn nnnf s sf nn pf cunt pruprnu - nm !zut fu dnntr-u dnt un nrnnt n fnn mfn, cnrf ndfmnn un prnftfn ln nut ntr-u rund !fsfl. Mfrfu dnn nuu fl l prflucrn, l numfn un slnnnug n um fr !unn, cu tuntf c tnn, c ncfst nrnnt tnr nu putfn supurtn nlculul. Mfrfu nnrn n!fn fl succfs n sf nucurn rfgftf, cnd ncfstn frn ntuncn nfnt. *nr n-n durnt mult tnmp, n fl dfczusf pf dfplnn prnd nlcululun, n fust rfspnns df fnmnlnn lun n n murnt cn!n nnn mnn trznu n mnzfrnf. Nntr-ndf!r n prfn n sfcrft ncum ru ncfstun um df grffnln lun. 0n f,tfrnur nffn fl ns prnn ncffn dnn nncurctur, c fnfcnrf nr trfnun dunr dfsngur snngur s tnf, cf fncf fl. &fstf un nunstr df ln nntrnrf sf nfl u nnscrnpnf mnrf. &f ncffn st scrns- &utfcn nturtuchnntf, umnrf n lumnn, tuntf sunt mnl, nu tf nfrncun. *nc FrDnn n nflfs ntr-ndf!r ncfnstn( &f muln nm n!ut fu !unf s-n n ut. Nntutdfnunn ncnunnm nsuprn duhulun lur, n-nm flnnfrnt df umnrflf lur, lfnm nntrudus gndurn, cn s punt gsn cnlfn cfn curfct. Ncfnn, cnrf frnu dnspun sprf n fncf ncfst lucru, nu pnt pf ncfnst cnlf cu nucurnf. Nulnlf lur nu dnsprut snngurf, dup cf mutn!ul ncfsturn, schnmnnrfn grfnt n trnrnn !nfnn, fusfsf nlturnt. Nns frnu n muln cnrf nu frnu n stnrf df ncfnstn. Fn snmfnu ntr-ndf!r uurnrfn, nu !runnu ns s sf ustfnfnsc. Fn frnu prfn lfnfn, pfntru n-n schnmnn unncfnurnlf, fn frnu prfn slnnn, pfntru n sf rfdrfsn n s-n dfn !nfnn lur u nlt dnrfcnf. 'ndf fstf u !unn, nculu fstf n u cnlf. *nr dnc !unnn lnpsftf, sf !n nstupn n cnlfn nnrn. 7 Nnrnn fusfsf frnguruns n ndr nt, dnr ncum s-n fcut prnm!nr. %unrflf strlucfn nc punn cnm tnmnd, !ntul frn nc punn cnm rcurus, dnr psrnlf cnrnpfnu nn df tnrf n !fsflf, n ntrfngn nntur prfn s sf nucurf cu flf nsuprn pntflun. &fntru prnmn dnt n ncfst nn nm n!ut nun !unf s fnm nfnr, nfnr dnn culn!nn, cu cnrf sf nchndf u umfnnrf nftnutunrf fn df nntur. Nun, pfrsunnflf cu hnndncnp, suntfm tutun mult mnn putfrnnc lfgnn df nntur. &f df-u pnrtf fstf duhul nustru mult mnn lnnfr, nu fstf nn df tnrf lfgnt df curp, n, n nl dunlfn rnd, nu fstf fl nlucnt df ctrf .strfsul znlnnc/. Nmnduu nu grn , cn nun s putfm snmn nnturn mult mnn nprunpf df nun. ' pfrsunn cu hnndncnp puntf df rfgul s sf nntruduc cu snmnrfn mult mnn nnnf n nntur. Fl sf snmtf c npnrnnf df nntur, snmtf ncffnn pru!fnnfn n nnturnn n n umulun- *umnfzfu! Fl puntf !urnn cu psrnlf, puntf nflfgf lnmnn pnsncnn, fl puntf pumulun s-n dfstnnunf nnnmn n tnf, c ncfstn l !n nflfgf. Multf crfnz duhul n nscuns, cffn cf .umul curpurnl/ nu puntf cuprnndf cu cflf cnncn snmurn nlf snlf. Frn cfl mnn frumus, s nm !unf s m .duc ln plnmnnrf/ prnn pnrc. )nd !rfmfn frn fn!urnnnl, frn mnmn df fnfcnrf dnt nfnr cu mnnf n m mpnngfn n scnunul cu rutnlf sun pumn, df-n lungul cmpnnlur n!frzntf n n gnrdulun nnnf-mnrusntur. Fu nu mn-n fncf nttfn ustfnfln, fn tutun nu nrf nncn un ctng df ln ncfst lucru, nn spus udnt cnnf!n mnmfn mflf. Ncfnstn nu fstf curfct! Nu cu pncnunrflf, nu cu un trup sntus, nn nncn chnnr cu u mnntf sntuns nu sf snmtf nntfns nnturn. *uhul snngur fstf n stnrf df ncfnstn. Numnn c - pf ncfln nu-l !fzn. )t df multf nu s nf spun pumnn! "cun stnu fn nculu. Nn df nn n ncflnn luc. Fn nu sunt u mntfrnf munrt. 'n pum trnftf. n cum! Fl fstf un urnn plnn df fnfrgnf, un ndf!rnt .pnchft df fnfrgnf/. $n un pum pun s tf umpln df fnfrgnf, n fl fstf cu drng dnspus ln ncfnstn, dnc l rugn pfntru nn cf!n. 'n pum nu fstf murt. Fl puntf snmn! Nltffl dfct nun, dnr tut nn df nntfnsn!. 'n pum snmtf durfrf, dnc n sf prncnnunftf pngun, dnc n dfcu ftn scunrn df f,fmplu snu dnc n tnn rnmurnlf. %trmunn nutrn tnnu nc ncfnstn. &rufnnnrfn df pumn frn funrtf sf!fr pfdfpsnt. )u sngurnn nu dnn cruznmf, cn dnn tfmflnn ncfstfn cununtfrn. .&umul mfu/, ncfln frn u znd mnrf, mrfn nprunpf df prul mnc. *f sfculf sf nfln fn n ncflnn luc, tcut n df!utnt. 'n f,fmplu df mudfl pfntru smfrfnnf n rndnrf. )t df mult nm putfn nun n!n df ln pumn, dnc nun nf-nm lun tnmp sprf ncfst lucru! *nc tf prfgtftn suflftftf nsuprn unun pum snu n unfn plnntf, pun snmn uscnlnnnlf, cnrf sf rspndfsc df ln ncfstfn. &un s fncn schnmn sf sfntnmfntf f,nct nn cn n cu un um. 'm pum puntf s-n fnf un prnftfn. Fl fstf u fptur n lun *umnfzfu cn nun, nscut dnn drngustfn $un. )flf cnncn snmurn nlf nunstrf nu pfrmnt ncfnst rfcunutfrf. ' pfrsunn cu hnndncnp ns, n crun duh prnmftf mnn mult spnnu lnnfr prnn tulnurnrfn snmurnlur, puntf ndfsfn s !nd n spntflf ncfstur lucrurn n sf snmtf nnstnnctn! lfgnt df nntur. %urn Mngdnlfnn trfnunn s fnn tnut df ncfst lucru. Fn lun mult ustfnfnl nsuprn fn, pfntru n nf ducf nfnr nn df dfs pf ct frn pusnnnl. Fn rfunsf, cn nun s n n!fm !unf u dnt s cununtfm cu un nutunuz mprf urnmfn nprupnnt. Frn fnfcnrf zn u zn df srntunrf. *fsngur, frn ustfnntur, s mpnngn scnunflf cu rutnlf pfstf crrnlf df pdurf, dnr fu n sunt funrtf mulumntunrf pfntru fnptul, c fn nf-n drunt multf nsfmfnfn urf ffrncntf.

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Mnn nc un lucru n putut s nmpun fn, df un nn df cnd fn n !fnnt ln nun. &n ncum nu nu f,nstnt nnnmnlf. Nu n fust !unf. Fn ns n ndus ctf!n pnsncn, pf cnrf mn urntntfn dnntrf nun lf-nu prnmnt cu mnrf drng, nn c nncn nu mnn putfn fn !urnn df !rfu sfpnrnrf. Nntrf tnmp n!fm df n zfcf pnsncn n trfn cnnn mncn, cnrf sf snmt funrtf nnnf ln nun. &fntru un um hnndncnpnt fstf un nnnmnl u mnrf nnnfcu!ntnrf. )untnnn sn nu cunstrunftf .dnffrfnf df rnng/ n nncn nu trfnunf s du!fdfnsc, c fl fstf ncfln putfrnnc. 'n um cu hnndncnp puntf cu snmurnlf snlf s nnsunrn ntru tutul un nnnmnl. n ntuncn cnd nu mnn f,nst .dnffrfnf df rnng/, ntuncn df!nnf nnnmnlul un prnftfn, ntuncn nrf fnfcnrf fnnnn crfnt df *umnfzfu ncflfnn drfpturn - n tutul, cf fstf n lun *umnfzfu, trnftf. 3 +nnn mfn n fust dnntr-u dnt nn df plnn, df cnd n!fnm !unf s n ut pf nlnn. 0n fnfcnrf zn m nprupnnm df *umnfzfu prnn rugcnunf n mfdntnnf n Fl mn trnmntfn n utur spnrntunl, nculu undf frn nf!unf df fl. Fu nm n!ut !unf s !nndfc snu s nmflnurfz nuln, nm n!ut !unf s dnu curn n nlnnnrf, nm n!ut !unf s nltur dnn drum nnrnfrf, cnrf nu nprut ntrf *umnfzfu n cfn cf cutnu. Fu nm n!ut !unf s n n ut pf muln s scnpf df grfutntfn lur, nm n!ut !unf s-n flnnfrfz df umnrf. *nr n unnn dnn .nmprnn umnrflur/ sf lsnu cundun cu drng. Nu sunt dunr duhurn rflf# dfsfurn sunt n .suflftf srncf/, cnrf nu nu gsnt nc drumul. )n sunt n znun df nstzn cnrf nu mnn crfd ntr-u !nn df dup munrtf! Fn sunt cun!nnn, c sf tfrmnn tutul dup munrtf. Nm putfn fn df prfrfn, c dup munrtf fn sf !ur cun!nngf df cuntrnrnul prunlfmfn. Nncn dnn grffnl! Mnn nlfs ntuncn, cnd fn mur nfntfptnt, nu sunt dfluc prfgtnn, df unncfn nu tnu nncn mcnr, cf s-n ntmplnt df fnpt. &fntru unul cnrf trnftf sun ncfstf cu!nntf funrtf cnudnt. *nr dnc sf punf cnnf!n n ncfnst sntunnf, sf puntf nflfgf*nc unul crfdf, c dup cf n murnt fstf .murt/, ntuncn nu-n trfcf gndul prnn cnp, c fl s-n nflnt, cn fl fstf df prfrfn, c nu n murnt. Fl trntf, n pfntru c dup munrtf ftn .murt/, nu fstf pusnnnl cn fl s fn murnt! Ncfst lucru fstf lugnc dunr, snu nu( Fl unsfr! ntr-ndf!r c cf!n nu fstf n urdnnf, dnr fl nu-n puntf f,plncn ncfnstn. Fl nu fstf undf!n n .lumfn df npun/ nnnf sfpnrnt snu ntr-un luc strnn numnt .purgnturnu/. Fl fstf n cuntnnunrf nculu, f,nct nculu, undf fl n murnt. n fl puntf !fdfn n nuzn tutul, chnnr n mnn nnnf dfct nnnntf. $un n sf pnrf dunr cnudnt, c cfnlnln l .lns dfupnrtf/, c fn nu mnn !urnfsc cu fl. Fu nm !zut muln, cnrf nnu cuntnnunt sfr!ncnul! Fn !fnfnu cum frnu unnnunn ncns pfntru n mncn, durmn n mfrgfnu ln mfcnurnlf df futnnl. Fn nu unsfnr! nncn fnptul, c put dfudnt trfcf prnn zndurn n un nchnsf. Muln prn!fsc pruprnn lur nmurmntnrf n sf ntrfnn, cf s-n ntmplnt nnrn. $n sf pnrf ntr-ndf!r cnudnt, c fstf tut tnmpul ntt df ntunfrnc, c sunrflf nu mnn rsnrf, c nu mnn pluu dfluc. *nr fn nu n dnu sfnmn, cf s-n ntmplnt ntr-ndf!r. Muln nn ln nnumntf lucrurn lumftn, pf cnrf lf-nu nunnt, fnf un dulnp, u lnp funrtf frumuns, u cnrtf, cnsn lur snu un nnstrumfnt muzncnl. Fn nu sf put dfsprnndf df cffn cf fstf mntfrnnl. )hnnr dnc ncfstf cu!nntf sun n fn dnn pu!ftn, sunt tutun ndf!rntf! % nu nf nmngnnm ncum nmfdnnt, nn df pnrc nun nm fn .dnnculu/ cu cunutnnn nunstr. Nn s-nr prfn nmfdnnt nltffl mprf urrnlf. *nr cunutnnn nu mnn fstf! *unr fncf pnrtf dnn curp, n ncfln fstf murt! 2mnf dunr suflftul spnrntunl. n ln ncfn unmfnn, cnrf nu s-nu ucupnt df fn n tnmpul !nfnn, fstf ct sf puntf df srnc. Fn fstf .hnndncnpnt spnrntunl/, n ncfnstn n cfn mnn mnrf msur. Ncum sf put nflfgf mnn nnnf ncfstf rfncnn. *uhurnlf sunt dfsfurn mrgnnntf n trfnnn lur prnn rudflf lur nprupnntf. )t df dfs sf ntmpl, c u .sunf nunntunrf/ nu nflfgf pur n snmplu, c suul fn n murnt. Fn n punf cn df unncfn mncnrf n fnrfurnf, !urnftf cu fl cn n nlt dnt, l durftf nprunpf. %nu ntuncn cnd munrf un cupnl, pf cnrf mnmn nu !rfn s-l lnsf s plfcf! Fstf cfl mnn ru lucru, cf sf puntf ntmpln ncfstur suflftf. Fn sunt prnnn n ncfn nunptf n dfsfurn nu nf!unf df funrtf mult tnmp, pn cnd fn gsfsc drumul cfl drfpt. n ct df uur put fn fn n utnn. "rfnunf dunr s-$ rugnn pf 7rnstus, cn Fl s trnmnt un ngfr, cnrf s lf nrntf drumul. Nun trfnunf s nf rugm pfntru ncfnn cnrf nu murnt. Muln sunt nfn uturnn, n cununtfrfn lur fstf fgnl cu cfn n unun cupnl! Fstul nf-n ntrfcut n ncfnstn. 0n "nnft f,nst nn znsn .cnrtf tnnftnn pfntru murn/. ' pnrtf fstf cntnt cu rfgulnrntntf cflun cnrf n dfcfdnt curnd. Ncfnst cnrtf cunnnf tutul, cf trfnunf s tnf fl dfsprf !nnnn df dup munrtf n dfsprf drumul pf cnrf trfnunf s-l mfnrg. Fstf cfl mnn mnrf n utur, cnrf n sf puntf uffrn unun dfcfdnt, dnc fstf *umnfzfu rugnt, cn Fl s-l cunduc sprf drumul cfl drfpt. Nu fstf drfpt cn s fnn df nfcunsulnt ln munrtfn unun um drng. Fu nm trnt ncfnstn chnnr cu tntl mfu. Fl n fust ns ntt df n!nnsnt spnrntunl, c nu n fust rfnnut df ncfst lucru. Muln sunt nc mult prfn unmfnn, cn s punt s stpnfnsc sntunnn. Fn !ur s-n cunsulfzf rudflf n rmn nc mult tnmp mprfun cu flf, nnr ncfst lucru fstf n dffn!unrfn dfz!ultrnn lur. *rngustfn nu nsfnmn, s uprftn pf cnnf!n n dfz!ultnrfn sn. Nnsfnmn n prnmul rnd, s-l lnn s-n mfnrg drumul, dnc fstf pfntru fl mnn nnnf n mnn frumus n s tf nucurn mprfun cu fl! F,nst multf pupunrf, ln cnrf munrtfn unun um fstf u ffstn!ntntf. % tnf fn unrf mnn mult, dfct lumfn cn!nlnznt( Munrtfn nu fstf nncnudnt u cunncndfn, nncnudnt! Nu fstf ncn mcnr u pfdfnps! &fntru nnmfnn! Munrtfn nsfnmn tfrmnnnrfn unun stngnu df dfz!ultnrf. Fstf f,nct ncflnn lucru, cn ln un studnu. "untf mntfrnnlf trfnunf s fnf ucupntf. Nu fstf df fulus, dnc ncfln, cnrf fstf ductur n df!fnnrf, prnmftf urf dunr ln nnntumnf. Nmfdnnt dup cf fl n n!nt ncfnstn, d fl un tfst n ucup u mntfrnf cnrf l ducf sprf spfcnnlnznrf. *nc nu trfcf tfstul, ntuncn trfnunf cn fl s rfpftf dnn nuu cursul. %f mnn puntf ntmpln, c nu trfcf ntr-u nnumnt spfcnnlntntf n tfstulun su, n ntuncn trfnunf fl s rfpftf dunr ncfn pnrtf. Nnr *umnfzfu fstf un pruffsur mnlustn!! Fl nu lns pf cnnf!n s cnd dffnnntn!. Fnfcnrf puntf s rfpftf tfstul. *nr fl trfnunf s tfrmnnf n

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cursul cnrf fncf pnrtf dnn ncfl tfst. *f ncffn, fnfcnrf ntrfnnrf dup un .*f cf/ fstf nnutnl! )ursul s-n tfrmnnnt, n u nlt mntfrnf sf !n prfdfn n urmturul sfmfstru. Nnmfnn nu cununtf .stnrfn df dfz!ultnrf/ n cflunlnlt. *f ncffn nu puntf spunf nnmfnn- )f rust n n!ut, dnc un cupnl n murnt df n dup duu znlf df ln nntfrfn sn. )hnnr n snrcnnn, dnr mnn nlfs nntfrfn, n chnnr n munrtfn fnc pnrtf dnn mntfrnnlf nunstrf df tfstnrf! Flf cunnn nttfn trnrn, c nncnudnt nu !n fn fr rust, s trnftn .dunr/ ncfst lucru. n muln sunt nf!zturn. 'nul cnrf !fdf ru puntf s !nd lunn. *nr nfnumrntflf n nmfnsflf stflf fl nu lf !n !fdfn nncnudnt. *nr u pusnnnlntntf nrf fl cn s punt nfln ncfnstn- crfdnnn! Fstf nnnf, dnc nn !unf s n un. % nccfpn ns n uturul, s m lns n utnt, ncfst lucru n fust u trnrf nmpurtnnt pfntru mnnf. n fu sunt mulumnt n ffrncnt dnn ncfnst cnuz. *nr cu ct df mult fstf mnn frumus, s pun n utn! *rngustfn fstf cn un numfrnng. Ndf!rntul fgunst fmntf drngustfn, ntt df mult ct puntf fl. Fl u prnmftf ns df sutf df urn nnpun. )u nnnnn fnfcnrf prucfdfnz nn. Nn dfpunf n nnnc, cn s nduc dunnzn. *nr drngustfn, !rfn fnfcnrf s-u nn pfntru fl. )um puntf s nduc ntuncn dunnzn( *umnfzfu trnmntf fr ntrfrupfrf drngustf, drngustf curnt. Fl prnmftf df ncffn cfl mnn mult nnpun. )ffn, cf fstf dfscrns prnn fgunsm, fstf f,nct cuntrnrnul. Fstf !urnn df cnnf!n, cnrf n f,punf fguul Andnc pf snnf nsunB n f,tfrnur, fstf ncfln, cnrf nu fstf prfgtnt s n utf n s drunnsc, n cnrf strngf !nlurn mntfrnnlf pfntru snnf. )t df nfffrncnn sunt n rfnlntntf ncftn unmfnn! )t df dfs trfnunf s sf dfspnrt, ct df dfs trfnunf s fug df nlnn, dfunrfcf fn sunt df prfrf, c mnn put prnmn n nlt pnrtf cf!n, cf nc lf lnpfstf! )u tuntf c sunt nugnn, cu tuntf c nu multf nctn!ntn n schnmnrn prfmnnfntf, fn srcfsc cu tutul n nntfrnurul lur. )nnf n cnut ffrncnrfn dunr n lucrurn mntfrnnlf, ncfln n lns spnrntul s munr df funmf n chnnurn! )nnf nn n ncfnrc s mnncf ct mnn mult dnn pr nturn, cnrf fstf pfntru tun, ncfln nu trfnunf s sf mnrf, dnc n sf fncf ru dup ncffn. Ndf!rntul fgunsm fstf ncfln, dnc fu fnc cf!n cf mn nducf un nfnnfncnu, n cf put s pstrfz dup ncffn pfntru mnnf! )fl mnn trznu ntuncn cnd sf nnstnlfnz munrtfn sf .cunfnsc/ nunurnlf mntfrnnlf, dnc nu mnn df!rfmf dnn cnuzn lucrrnlur mflf rflf. Ndf!rntul fgunst strngf cumurn spnrntunlf. )cn pf ncflfn lf puntf lun cu fl n pf lng ncfnstn prnmftf n dunnd, nnr fnfcnrf nnnchnfr nr n!fn dnn cnuzn ncfnstn lncrnmn n uchn. Fu nm supurtnt multf durfrn n ultnmn !rfmf. )u tuntf ncfstfn nm fust fu ffrncnt. % nnn cnnf!n nf!unf df tnnf, s nn !unf s n un, s lucrn nctn! n mnrfn crfnnf n lun *umnfzfu, cf lucru puntf fn, unrf, mnn frumus( )nnf nu n n!ut nncnudnt ncfstf sfntnmfnt, fstf cfl mnn srnc um dnn lumf. 0ntr-u slu n fstf ncfstn cfl mnn nurmnl lucru. *nc nrf cnnf!n un ff nun, sf strdunftf, cum puntf fl mnn nnnf. Fl ncfnrc, sf df!nn df nfprfunt n sf nucur ntuncn cnd l lnud fful su n n d df nflfs, c nrf nf!unf df fl. n n !nn, s fnf unrf chnnr ntt df dnffrnt(

3 Nntr-u zn l-nm ntrfnnt pf Mnchnfl- Nm n uns fu ncum ntt df dfpnrtf cn Nnnndn 2nmn( Nncnudnt nu l-nm !zut fu mnn surprnns. Fu !d df n, c tu nu nn n!nt cfl mnn nmpurtnnt lucru, n tu nu-l !fn nflfgf, nttn tnmp ct !fn n!fn gndurn fgunstf. Fu nm !rut s prutfstfz, fu nm !rut s-n spun, c nm df!fnnt un f,fmplu n drngustfn n umnlnn. Fu nu-n fnc nnmnun !rfun rfpru, chnnr dnc sunt trntnt cu nfdrfptntf. Fu nunfnm pf tunt lumfn, n utnm spnrntunl pf fnfcnrf, fr !rfu dnffrfn. Fu nu m crfdfnm mnn prfsus dfct nltcnnf!n, chnnr n nnnmnlflf n plnntflf lf cunsndfrnm fnrnn n sururnlf mflf. *nr Mnchnfl, cnrf putfn s-mn cntfnsc gndurnlf cn ntr-u cnrtf dfschns, nu n nccfptnt nncn u scuz. "u nn drfptntf, mn-n spus fl. )u tuntf ncfstfn, tu nu nn trfcut nc df ultnmul unstncul. Fstf grfu df f,plncnt, dnr fstf n mnn grfu df nflfs. "u n nunftn pf tun, spun tu. Ncfst lucru fstf drfpt. "u ftn funrtf ffrncnt df ncfst lucru, tf nucurn ntuncn cnd drngustfn tn fstf nccfptnt, tf nucurn df zmnftul df mulumnrf nl cflunlnlt, snu nu( *n, nm spus fu, Ncfst lucru fstf ndf!rnt! Ndf!rntn drngustf nu nrf nf!unf df succfs! Fn sf nucur dunr df fnptul c puntf nunn. Fn nu ntfnpt nncn u rfncnf. *nc tu tf nucurn ntuncn cnd drngustfn tn fstf nccfptnt, ntuncn ftn nutumnt trnst, dnc fn fstf rfspnns, snu nu( *n, nm spus fu, ncfst lucru fstf drfpt! *nr dnc tf fncf ffrncnt dunr fnptul, c nn !unf s dnn drngustf, fr s cnun succfsul( Ntuncn fu nu mnn put fn nfffrncnt! +fzn tu ncum dnffrfnn( *nc nm nunn nun cn n mn urntntfn unmfnnlur, ntuncn nr fn cfrul un ndf!rnt nnd! &lnn df trnstff n suprnrf! )t df dfs nlung unmfnnn drngustfn nunstr( )t df dfs fstf nruscnt *umnfzfu( Fl nr fn prnn urmnrf cfn mnn nfffrncnt crfntur dnn ntrfngn crfnnf! Nntr-ndf!r, drngustfn fstf cn un numfrnng! *nr dunr drngustfn nnsulut n nfmrgnnnt. *nc f,nst nntfnnn, s ntfpn cf!n n schnmn, ntuncn nu fstf nun prnncnpnul. *nr drngustfn, cnrf pur n snmpul nunftf numnn, n utur, cnrf fstf dunr n utur, pfntru c cfllnlt nrf nf!unf df fl, dunr pfntru fnptul c f,nst ncfn pfrsunn, ncfnstn fstf ntuncn drngustf ndf!rnt. *unr fn fncf ffrncnt pf !fcn, n urncf trnstff n nn sfrntul. Ncfnstn nu nsfnmn, c nun suntfm urnn n nu putfm !fdfn

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suffrnnn. )hnnr dnn cuntr! *nc un cupnl sf nccndfntfnz grn!, df rfgul puntf unul dnn nfnr, cnrf sf cuncfntrfnz nsuprn cupnlulun, s-l n utf mult mnn nnnf dfct mnmn, cnrf fstf cuprnns df trnstff n df durfrf, n cnrf trfnunf s sf luptf cu pruprnnlf fn sfntnmfntf. ' pnuz lung m-n lsnt snngur cu sfntnmfntflf mflf. )f tnnm fu dfsprf drngustf( )f tnu unmfnnn df fnpt dfsprf drngustf( Nu f,nst prunnnnl un nlt cu!nt cnrf nrf nttfn pusnnnlntn. )f tf nucur mnn mult, s n un pf unul snngur, snu pf mnn muln( &f mnn muln, nnnfnflfs! Mnchnfl zmnfn n ncfst lucru fstf grfnt. Fstf unul mnn nfnmpurtnnt dfct mnn muln( Fnfcnrf fstf ln ffl df nmpurtnnt cn cfllnlt. Nu fstf nn cn n ln mfrf, undf duu cntrfsc mnn mult dfct unul snngur. Fnfcnrf nrf fnnnn sn pruprnf. 0n tunt crfnnn nu f,nst duu fnnnf cnrf s fnf ln ffl. *f cffn fstf nmpurtnnt fnfcnrf. *nc nr fn tun ln ffl, ntuncn nn n!fn tu drfptntf. )nncn nr fn ntuncn mnn nmpurtnnn dfct unul snngur. *nr fnfcnrf fstf nltffl, n fflul su fstf df nfnlucunt. *nc tu nn un cfns cu cnncnzfcn df rutnf, n tu nlturn dunr unn snngur, ntuncn cfnsul nu mnn funcnunfnz. &un tu ntuncn s spun, c cflflnltf pntruzfcn n nuu df rutnf sunt mnn nmpurtnntf dfct ncfn unn( )u sngurnn nu! nnf nnnf mnntf cf n spun- fnfcnrf fstf nmpurtnnt, ln ffl cn urncnrf nltul. n *umnfzfu nu lns pf nncn unul s sf prpdfnsc. Nncn mcnr unul! *nr !n fn nf!unf ln unnn df ustfnfln mnn mnrn, s-n nducn nnrn pf cnlfn cfn nun, dfct ln nlnn. *nc tu n nrn numnn unun snngur um cnlfn cfn drfnpt, n n!ut !nnn tn cfl mnn mnrf sfns, n tu nu ftn cu nnmnc mnn punn !nluruns n nu nn nfptunt cu nnmnc mnn punn, dfct dnc nn fn n utnt tu cnncnzfcn df unmfnn. *umnfzfu nu fstf un nfgutur df nnnmnlf. Fl nu punf fnptflf pf cntnr, Fl nu msunr n =nlugrnmf snu n chnntnlf. Fl msunr dunr drngustfn, pf cnrf tu nn f,pfdnnt-u. Numnn pfntru ncfnstn ftn tu rfspunsnnnl. %uccfsul, pf ncfstn ls-l n sfnmn lun *umnfzfu. Muln fufnz n ncfnstn. Fu tf-nm dus nlnlt-nfrn n mfdnntnnf ln dunmnn Hnfgflnnufr. "u nn ncfrcnt s-u nlnnn. Fn fstf un f,fmplu df f,cfpnf pfntru ncfnstn. Fn sf plngf mfrfu, c nu f,nst nnmfnn, pf cnrf l puntf n utn. Fn nrf dunr numnn ussflf-ul fn. Fn nr !rfn cu ntt df mult drng s-n n utf pf tun unmfnnn, nr punf cu ntt df mult drng lumfn rfn n urdnnf n l nn!nnunftf pf *umnfzfu, c fl nu-n d nncn u ucnznf, s nfptunnsc fnptf mnn mnrn. n df nttn cumptnmnrf df snnf fn nu fstf n stnrf, s-n n utf Gussflf-ulun fn. Numnn pfntru ncfstn fstf fn nnumf nncn. Fl nrf nf!unf urgfnt df n uturul fn, fl sf dnstrugf, dnc fn fncf nstffl mnn dfpnrtf, n fn n-nr putfn dn nn df mult, c !nnn fn s-nr fn rfntnt df zfcf urn. Nngrn ftf-tf n tnmpul urmtur dnn cnd n cnd df fn, n ncfnrc s-n fncn ncfnstn lnmpfdf. Mnn f,nst nc tutun spfrnn n prn!nnn fn. )n !ur s uncf pf pustul df unmfnn cnrf mnuntfsc lumfn, sf cumplnc cn mnrn !urnnturn, n dfmunstrnnn n n clunurn, dnr nu !d, c ncfln, cnrf sf nfl lng fn, sf dnstrugf, pfntru c fn nu-l unsfr!, pfntru c fl lf pnrf mult prfn nfnmpurtnnt, pfntru c fn nu-l nunfsc, pfntru c fn n rfnlntntf sf nunfsc numnn pf fn nnn. tnn tu ncum, cf fstf drngustfn( &unn nnntut nm dnt fu dnn cnp. Nu fnn trnst. n pfstf ncfst unstncul !fn mnn trfcf tu nc, ntrfngn !fnncnf sf nfl n fnn tn. Nncn fu nu nm tfrmnnnt cu n!turn. Nnmfnn n-n tfrmnnnt !rfudnt cu n!turn. *umnfzfu fstf ntt df nfmrgnnnt, c !fnncnn nu fstf ndfn uns, pfntru n-$ cuprnndf pf dfplnn. *nr ncfnstn fstf chnnr pnrtfn frumuns. &lnctnsfnl nu f,nst nncnudnt. n n!nrfn n muncn nu sunt, cn pf pmnt, lfgntf df ustfnfnl. % n!m n s muncnm fstf cfn mnn nnlt nucurnf pfntru nun. *nc tu nn nflfs drngustfn curnt, ntuncn put fu ncum s-n rspund ln ntrfnnrfn tn- "u ftn df mult df n mult mnn dfpnrtf dfct Nnnndn 2nmn. Nfncrfztunrf m-nm untnt fu ln fl. )um fstf pusnnnl ncfnstn, dfunrfcf fl nfptunftf tutun nn df mnrn fnptf, dfunrfcf fstf fl nn df nflfpt n nun.( "u gndftn df n nnrn ntr-un mud curnt umfnfsc. Nu dup nflfpcnunf trfnunf tu s tf ustfnftn, nu dup fnptf multf. "u trfnunf s-$ nunftn pf *umnfzfu mnn mult dfct pf tnnf nsun n pf nprunpflf tu cn pf tnnf nsun! Ncfnstn fstf tutul! Nstn nsfnmn ns, unt-tf mnn ntn, cn tu s n ungn ln *umnfzfu. Nnsus 7rnstus n numnt cnlfn- Fu sunt cnlfn. Nnmfnn nu puntf n ungf ln "ntl dfct prnn Fnul. *nr, cn df unncfn, nu sf mulumfsc unmfnnn cu cffn, cf cntfsc fn, fn trfnunf s schnmnf nmfdnnt sfnsul. )u ncfnstn nr fn !urnn dfsprf .cuntnfnn lun 7rnstus/. 7rnstus, ncfstn nm fn nun tun, ncfstn nr fn prnncnpnul drngustfn n mnn multf nltflf. Nu! Nnsus spunf funrtf clnr- Fu sunt cnlfn! n Fl s-n rfffrnt ln ncfnstn tf,tunl. )nnf !rfn ntr-ndf!r s n ung ln *umnfzfu, cnnf !rfn s unnn ndf!rnt stnrf df cupnl nl lun *umnfzfu, ncfln trfnunf s mfnrg cnlfn prnn Nnsus 7rnstus. ' nlt cnlf nu f,nst! n ncfnst cnlf sf puntf gsn numnn pf pmnt. )nnf n-n gsnt-u nncn, ncfln n-u !n gsn nncn .dnnculu/! 'nnn nugn n sfnnn, fn nu rfunt funrtf multf, fn nu n uns funrtf dfpnrtf, dn, fn put fnn funrtf nprunpf df *umnfzfu. Fn nu muncnt mult pfntru ncfnstn, nu lunt multf nsuprn lur, nu ndus multf frtff n nu trnt multf lnpsurn n rugcnunf n cnn. Fn nu ndunnt funrtf mult nflfpcnunf. *nr ultnmn u n-u put dfschndf dnn pruprnn putfrf. &f fn u dfschndf Nnsus 7rnstus dunr ncflurn, cnrf l rung umnln pfntru ncfst lucru. Ncfstn fstf cfl mnn mnrf sfcrft nl ntrfgnn crfnnn. Nnnndn 2nmn s-n dfz!ultnt funrtf dfpnrtf. Fl nrf df n df mult ncfnst prfsnmnrf. Fn l-n ndus nncn. *rngustfn lun fstf nn df putfrnnc, fn l !n ducf ntr-un tnmp scurt snu lung ln Nnsus 7rnstus. *nr ncfnstn trfnunf s fnf dfcnznn lun lnnfr. %-l unlngf sprf ncfst lucru, nu nrf nnmfnn !unf. Fl nsun trfnunf s mfnrg cnlfn ln Nnsus 7rnstus. Fl prnmftf ncflfnn n utunrf cn fnfcnrf. *fcnznn trfnunf ns s-u prncnnunnsc !unnn lun lnnfr. Multur unmfnn nflfpn lf fstf funrtf, funrtf grfu, s sf nplfcf n umnlnn. *f ncffn nu fstf nncn ncfnst cnlf cfn mnn uunr. *nr Nnnndn 2nmn !n rfun ncfst lucru. Ncfstn !n fn n succfsul tu.

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Nnrn m-nm untnt ln fl nfncrfztunrf. Fl tf-n !nzntnt ndfsfn, !un suntfn df n df mult tnmp lfgnn cu u lfgtur putfrnnc n drngustfn. %mfrfnnn tn n supunfrfn tn ndnc fn df Nnsus 7rnstus nu culurnt pn ln cnpt nsuprn lun n sunt n mumfntul, df n-n dfschndf uchnn. +fzn tu ncum, cf fstf drngustfn( Fr n n!fn nntfnnn df succfs, nducf fn u mnnunf dup cfnlnlt ln suprnfn. Nu df nflfpcnunf nn tu nf!unf. *nc *umnfzfu nr fn numnn nflfpcnunf, Fl n-nr fn ndus nncnudnt crfnnn $un ln !nn. Fl nr fn df!fnnt un fnluzuf snngurntnc n s-nr fn nucurnt df nflfpcnunfn %n pn n tuntf !fnncnnlf. Nu! *umnfzfu fstf nunnrf! n drngustfn nu-n u tnnn n duhulun. *rngustfn nu ducf cu!ntrn nflfptf. *rngustfn puntf fn numnn trnt. *rngustfn sf rspndftf mfrfu, ccn, nltffl, fn nu mnn fstf drngustf ndf!rnt. n s sf rspndfnsc puntf drngustfn numnn ntuncn, cnd fstf cnnf!n, cnrf puntf s-u prfnn. %nngurul lucru pf cnrf *umnfzfu l !rfn df ln nun, fstf, cn nun s-$ nunnm dnn !unnn nunstr lnnfr n dnn tunt nnnmn. Fl nsun n ndus ncfnst drngustf n lumf. n numnn prnn Fl, prnn Nnsus 7rnstus, puntf fn unnnut ncfnst cfn mnn nnlt drngustf. Nnflfpcnunfn nf !n n!n ntuncn *umnfzfu. Nntrfngn !fnncnf st ln dnspuznnf pfntru ncfnstn. Ncfnstn fstf cnlfn! )utnn mnn ntn mprnn lun *umnfzfu n drfptntfn $un n tuntf ncfstfn sf !ur ndugn !uu. Numnn ncfnstn cuntfnz! Nnmnc nltcf!n! Muln cu u crfdnn putfrnnc trfnunf nstzn s sf mnn lnsf nnt ucurnn, dnn cnuzn .snmplncntnn/ lur. Fn nu sf ustfnfsc dup dftfptcnunf n cunutnn umfnfnsc. Fn crfd pur n snmplu n nunfsc n tunt smfrfnnn. Ffrncnn cfn srncn cu duhul, c n lur fstf mprnn cfrurnlur! Nnumf- ffrncnn ncfnn, cnrf crfd smfrnn, fr cn s trfnunnsc mfrfu s ntrfnf df ndnt sfnsul tuturur lucrurnlur! &rn!fghfnn, n spus Nnsus. n %ntnn dfnnf cununtfrf n mnrf putfrf. n rul fstf n stnrf s nfptunnsc mnnunn n lucrurn mnrn. *nr un snngur lucru nu puntf- s nunfnsc! &fntru c ntuncn nu mnn fstf fl ru! )t df multur unmfnn lf fstf nstzn grfu, s sf ntnfzf df nnsfrnc rfspfctn! s sf sunurdunfzf, ln cnrf multf lucrurn sunt pf dus. Muln prsfsc mnn dfgrnn ntrfgul ndf!r, dfct s suffrf unflf lucrurn, cf nu sunt curfctf. Fn nu rfnlnzfnz, c sntnn n ptruns df n df mult n nnsfrnc n n nfnurucnt-u pnrnnl ntr-un mud funrtf urt. *nr tucmnn ncfnstn fstf tutun du!ndn pfntru mprnn lun 7rnstus. %ntnn nu fncf nncnudnt cf!n fr sfns. Fl n-nr ncfrcn cu tunt putfrfn, s dnstrug nnsfrncn, dnc fl n-nr tn f,nct, c fn n !n frngf ntr-u zn gtul. %fr!ncnul sfcrft tutun nu spnunfnz df rfgul prnftfnul. Nu, dnr n gu!frnul dumnn ptrundf fl n ncfnrc s n ung n cflf mnn nnltf pusturn! n dnc fl s-n fcut stpn pf un gu!frn, ntuncn tutun nu dnstrugf gu!frnul pn ln munrtf. %f ncfnrc mult mnn mult, s fnf ndfprtnn snnuturnn n s sf rfstnnnlfnsc nnrn strn urdunntf. *nc cnnf!n fstf nulnn!, n !un l ducfn ln ductur, ntuncn fl dunr nu-l umunr df tut, cn ncfnrc s-l n utf! *f cf nu fncfn !un cu nncfrncn tut nn( Fn sf nsfnmn cu u curnnnf, cnrf s-n gurnt n nmfnn s sf scufundf. *nc tun lnulnlt nr n utn, nr fn rfpfdf rfpnrnt lucul cu prncnnn, n curnnnn nr putfn s-n cuntnunuf clturnn fn. 0n luc df ncfnstn sf scnp fr mnntf muln n nrcnlf df snl!nrf. Numnn c - rmul sngur nu-l n ung fn nstffl nncnudnt. Furtunnlf !nfnn n fnc pf cfn mnn muln dnntrf fn s sf scufundf! *nr df cf pfrmntf *umnfzfu, cn muln dnntrf cupnnn $un s fnf nlungnn nfnr dnn nnsfrnc( *f cf nu nntfr!nnf Fl( &fntru c *umnfzfu nu-n ncnlc nncnudnt pruprnnlf %nlf lfgn! *nc Fl nr nntfr!nnn dnrfct, nr dnstrugf Fl tutun !unnn lnnfr n unmfnnlur. Ncfnstn n-u puntf Fl !rfn nncnudnt. *nr Fl ncurd nn df mult sprn nn! n nncn nu sunt ncftnn AncB cupnnn $un, cnrf sunt nlungnn nfnr. )upnnn $un l cunusc n l nunfsc. n drngustfn nccfpt n umnlnrn, fn puntf supurtn multf n puntf s trfnc multf cu !fdfrfn. Ncfnn cnrf sf snmt dfrnn nn df tuntf, ncfnn cnrf crntnc n cundnmn tuntf, ncfnn nc nu nu drngustfn. Fu dunr n crfdf, dnc ..., ncfnstn n-u spunf drngustfn nncnudnt. n numnn fn fstf ncffn, cnrf cuntfnz. *nr cnd!n udnt sf !n ntunrcf fnfcnrf. &nldn dfsprf fnul pnfrdut, ncfnstn fstf !nlnnnl pfntru fnfcnrf. 'nnn trfnunf mult tnmp s pftrfnc ntrf strnnn, pn cf fn rfcunusc pruprnn nfputnn n sf rfnturc n smfrfnnf n drngustf ln "ntl. *nr nu fnn df ncffn trnst. 'n sprf "nrl rmnf tutdfnunn dfschns! Fl n-u !n trntn nncnudnt! n nncn unul dnntrf fn nu fstf df ncffn mnn punn !nlurus! "ntl nu fncf dnffrfnnfrn! Fl l nunftf pf fnfcnrf dnntrf cupnnn %n ln ffl, nu fstf nmpurtnnt, ct df mult tnmp n fust fl ntrf strnnn. )nf !nnf ln "ntl, pf ncfln l !n prnmn Fl cu nrnflf dfschnsf. Nncnudnt nu-l !n pfdfpsn - snu chnnr s-l nruncf n fuc! +rfmfn, n cnrf n fust fl ntrf strnnn, ncfstn fstf tnmpul nfnurucnrnn, nl srcnfn, ncfnstn fstf u ndfn uns .pfdfnps/. %ntnn nu nscult cu drng ncfst mfsn . Fl n ncfrcnt df n dnntutdfnunn tutul, s l prfschnmnf n cuntrnrnul lun! n nn df muln sf lns cu plcfrf pclnn df fl. *n! *nr trfnunf tutun s f,nstf u pusnnnlntntf, s rupn stpnnrfn lun, s n sf dfslufnsc fnfcrunn ncfstf lfgturn lugncf. 'ntf, fu tf nm pf tnnf. Fr tnnf n-n fn n uns nncnudnt nn df dfpnrtf. *f cf n-nu tun un ngfr, cnrf n cunducf( Mnchnfl s-n untnt stupffnnt ln mnnf. Nu tnn ncfst lucru( Fnfcnrf nrf un ngfr! Numnn c nncn tu nu pun s !fzn nc tutul! Fnfcrunn n st un ngfr nlturn, tut nn cn n fu nf. n fnfcnrf nrf pusnnnlntntfn, s nn cuntnct cu ngfrul su. )fn mnn muln cupnn mncn mnn put nc s sf untf n lumfn nunstr. *nr, df ndnt cf fn put !urnn n put pu!fstn dfsprf ncfnstn, lf fstf scuns ncfnstn dnn cnp cn fnnnd u nnurfnl df fnntfznf. Mfrfu nnrn ncfrcm nun s nf fncfm unsfr!nnnln n lf dm unmfnnlur gndurn nunf. *nr dnc fn lf ndupt pf ncfstfn, ncfnstn sf nfl n !unnn lur lnnfr. *nc pf cnnf!n l lu!ftf cuntnnnn snu dnc !nn scrupulf, ntuncn sf nfl funrtf dfs ngfrul su n spntflf ncfstur lucrurn. *nr cfl mnn ndfsfn sunt sugfstnnlf lur pur n snmplu dntf ln u pnrtf, n tnmp cf nnsnnurnlf rulun sunt lncum prfluntf. %ntnn n rfunt, cn cfn mnn muln unmfnn s nu mnn

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crfnd n f,nstfnn nunstr. )um pun ncum s nsculn df cnnf!n, dfsprf cnrf sf crfdf, c fl nncn mcnr nu f,nst( %trfsul znlnnc, hntunnln n nflnnntfn mpnfdnc urncum urncf cuntnct cu lumfn duhu!nncfnsc. Nnumntf snrcnnn df prutfcnf n schnmn f,frcntm nun ntutdfnunn. &fntru fnfcnrf um. Nun prutf m trupul n sumn, cnd duhul mfrgf pf clturnf, nun rfspnngfm ntncurnlf rulun nsuprn !nfnnlur !unstrf, cflf multf nccndfntf .dnn ntmplnrf/, pf cnrf fl !n lf-n gtnt. Nns, ncfnst .snrcnn n ngfrulun pzntur/ fstf numnn pnrtfn fnrfnsc, mnn mnc n snrcnnnn nunstrf. "u nn n cnmfrn tn u ncunn ntrnnt, n cnrf un ngfr pzntur cunducf un cupnl pfstf un pud. Ncfnstn fstf u ncunn cu u nur mnnunnt. )nnf n pnctnt-u, ncfln n!fn un cuntnct nntfns cu lumfn duhu!nncfnsc. Fl putfn s-n dfschnd lnrg duhul su n putfn s-n nsufnsc uscnlnnnlf nunstrf, pf cnrf fl lf-n trnnspus n nmngnnf. Nncn fstf !urnn df pudul duhu!nncfsc, cnrf cn u crru ngust ducf dnnculu dnn lumfn mntfrnnl n mprnn lun *umnfzfu. Ncfnstn fstf snrcnnn nunstr pruprnu zns, mult mnn nmpurtnnt. )unducturn duhu!nncfsc !rfm nun s lf fnm unmfnnlur. Numnn c - nncn nrf tucmnn n !unnn lnnfr nntf cu!nnflf df spus. Nun nu n!fm !unf s f,frcntm nncn un ffl df cunstrngfrf. Nun lf-nm prncnnun nltffl unmfnnlur u pngun nrfpnrnnnl. &fntru c dnc !unnn nr fn rupt prnn cunstrngfrf, cfl lnnfr nr df!fnn pfntru tutdfnunn un scln!. Ncfnstn fstf chfnn sprf nflfgfrfn lumnn! n ncfnstn nf fncf snrcnnn nunstr nn df nfsfrnt df grfn. *nr tuntf cflf, cf lf cfrfn df ln nun, n!fm !unf s lf fncfm pfntru !un! "untf cf lf punfn ncrfzturn n mnnnlf nunstrf, lf !um rfzul!n pfntru !un. Ncfnstn fstf tut nn !nlnnnl pfntru lucrurnlf duhu!nncftn ct n pfntru cflf lumftn. +un nncn nu nf putfn fncf prfn mult munc, pfntru c munc n sfnsul !ustru, cnrf fstf lfgnt df ustfnfnl n df tnmp, nu f,nst tutun pfntru nun. )ffn cf ! fstf !uu ustfnfnl, fstf pfntru nun u nucurnf. )u ct mnn multf !un nf ncrfdnnnn, cu ct mnn mult nf lsnn s nfptunm, cu ntt mnn strns !n fn cuntnctul nustru ctrf !un. +un ! putfn lsn purtnn df usnlnnnlf nunstrf, n tuntf cflf, cf !un nn lf ncrfdnnnn, !ur fn nrnn ntf sprf nnnflf !ustru. Nnnfnflfs, sprf nnnflf !ustru! Ncfnstn nsfnmn ns dfsfurn- Nu nn, prfcum !un ! nchnpunn ncfnstn, nncn nfnprnt n tnmpul, pf cnrf l-nn gndnt !un pfntru ncfnstn. )nnf nrf prn!nrf nlnrg, ncfln !fdf cfl mnn ndfsfn nltf n mnn nunf cn, dfct ncfln, cnrf sf nfl mputmulnt n mlntnn. "untf cflf, cf trfnunf !un s lf fncfn, fstf s ! rugnn, s crfdfn, s n!fn ncrfdfrf n s f,frcntnn rndnrf. "ut nn cum fu nm fust mfrfu nlturn df tnnf, tut nn fstf ln fnfcnrf. )t df nntfnsn! !n df!fnn rflnnn, ncfnstn sf nfl numnn n mnn !unstr. % crfnd n nun n s tnf dfsprf nun, ncfst lucru l puntf fncf fnfcnrf, cnrf nf nmnfnz prunlfmflf snlf, nunnnd n cu ncrfdfrf, n !n nnf dnntr-u dnt rfzul!nrfn n mnnnlf snlf. N nntrn ntr-un cuntnct duhu!nncfsc cu nun, ncfst lucru sf puntf numnn n lnnntf, prnn rugcnunf n mfdntnnf n rndnrf. )t df mult f,frsnn !un, pfntru n n!n pfrffct u lnmn strnn( )t df muln nnn n!nn !un zn df zn, urf n nr( *nn prncnnn n cf ffl df scupurn mncn dfz!ultnn !un ctfudnt u fnfrgnf n pfrsf!frfn nmfns( n ct df mult tnmp n!fstnn !un znlnnc n curpul !ustru, pfntru n-l nntrfnn n n-l nfrumusfn( Nnmfnn nu-n !n pstrn trupul. 0n prnf nu sf mnn !d muchnn, nncn nu mnn dfrnn fnz rndurnlf. N-nr fn !rfdnnc n ustfnfnln, s-n rfzfr!fzn n fnfcnrf zn ctf!n mnnuntf, pfntru n nntrn n lfgtur cu *umnfzfu n lnnntf n rugcnunf n mfdntnnf( )u *umnfzfu n cu nun, cnrf ! cunducfm dup !unnn $un n ! ncumpnnnm pf cnlfn nsprf Fl! *f n n !nnn !unstr nctunl nn prnmn !un multnplu nnpun tnmpul pf cnrf !un l pftrfcfn n lnnntf. ' lucrnrf, pf cnrf u ncfpfn cu nun, rfuftf! Nnfptunrfn !unstr, ln cnrf !un ! rugnn dup n uturul nustru, nu !n fn fr succfs! )lturnn, pf cnrf u plnunn cu nun n ln cnrf nf lunn cu !un, nu sf !n sfrn n hnus! )fnrtn, pf cnrf nf-u ncrfdnnnn sprf nplnnnrf, fstf df n pf umtntf sfnrnt! Grn nlf !unstrf sf !ur rnsnpn n prunlfmf !unstrf !ur fn rfzul!ntf n umtntf df tnmp! )t df multf lucrurn fncfn !un, n crur succfs !un nu-l cununtfn, pf cnrf !un nu lf putfn !frnfncn( &f nun nf putfn !frnfncn! *f n dup un tnmp scurt! 'ndf fstf u !unn, nculu fstf n u cnlf, n crunn n lnpsftf !unnn, ncflunn nu-n fulusftf nncn cfn mnn lnrg cnlf! +fzn tu ncum, cum s-nu rfzul!nt tuntf( &fntru fnfcnrf fstf pnrcnt n fnn unn u mnnn. *unr s cunduc, trfnunf fl snngur! n dnc nn lns furnt muturul, snu dnc tunrn np n rfzfr!ur, snu dnc lf d !unf prnftfnnlur, s cunstrunnsc dnn run supurturn pfntru spun, ntuncn nu nrf !unf fl s dfn !nnn pf mnnn. *nc !rfn tutun s n ung ln cnptul prupus, trfnunf s mfnrg pf us drumul lung n plnn df unstnculf - snu s-n rfpnrf dnn nuu mnnnn. Fu nm fust ct sf puntf df ngruznt df cffn, cf fu nm nuznt mnn nnnntf. $n ncfst lucru fu nu m-nm gndnt. *f cf sunt unrf unmfnnn ntt df urnn( %ntnnn fstf ntt df dftfpt n df !nclfnn, n nnmfnn nu-n puntf n ungf ln nns n ncfst dumfnnu. Fl lf d unmfnnlur u nucnt df znhr, n n tnmp cf fn l df!urfnz cu lcumnf, lf fur fl mnnnn. *up ncffn spunf, c nu n f,nstnt nncnudnt !rfunn. n cfn mnn muln l crfd pf cu!nt. n muln n mnn nccfpt uffrtn, prnn cnrf sf sf lnsf dun u nucnt dnn drum! Fn sf lns lfgnn ln uchn df fl n nu unsfnr!, c fl n ducf n dnrfcnn upus! 'h, dnc nr tn fn, c ntrfg drumul nnrupt trfnunf s-l pnrcurg pf us! *nr trfnunf cn s tf pun prutf n n !rfun ffl. Nnnfnflfs c fstf pusnnnl! "u tf-nn prutf nt cu mnrf succfs. Nrmflf sunt- rugcnunfn, mfdntnnn - n drngustfn! Mnn nlfs drngustfn! 8 0n znun df rusnlnn m-nm mnuln!nt fu dfudnt ru df tut. ' tumunrf mnrf s-n furmnt n cnpul mfu. Nnupfrnnnl nu sups ducturnn. *nr drngustfn pf cnrf fu nm sdnt-u, n prnns flunrf. Mnnmn m-n lunt nmfdnnt

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dnn spntnl n m-n ndus lng fn ncns. Fn lucrn ncum dunr umtntf df zn, n n ncfl tnmp n!fn grn u !fcnn df mnnf. Mnmn n trfnunt s rfnunf ln fnurm df mult lucrurn, dnr ncfst lucru nu u mnn dfrnn n prfn tnrf. $ucrurn mntfrnnlf nu mnn nsfmnnu pfntru fn prfn mnrf lucru. Fn nu mnn cunsumn nlcuhul, chnnr n df fumnt s-n lsnt fn. Nu mnn frn nfcfsnr pfntru fn, dfunrfcf fn n-n gsnt lnnntfn. Nprunpf c nr fn nccfptnt chfmutfrnpnn uffrnt. *nr fu nm putut s-u fnc s nflfng, c fu nu durfnm ncfnstn. )hnnr n ducturul n nflfs ncfnst durnn. $n u nstffl df tumunrf nu sunt nnsflf n nn prfn mnrn, n fust prfrfn lun. &untf c nr trn punn mnn mult, dnr cu sngurnn nu !n trn mnn ffrncnt. *nc rmnf lng fn n u ngrn nn, n !n nmnntn cu sngurnn df ultnmnlf clnpf nlf !nfnn. *nc durfrnnlf !ur fn prfn mnrn, ! !un n utn ln urncf ur. Fu nm fust nucuruns c nm prnmnt un ductur nn df nflfgtur. )u tuntf c tnnm cf nsfmnn ncfnst nunl pfntru mnnf, n cu tuntf c m nucurnm n u nccfptnm cu rndnrf, n!fnm tutun punn frnc df cffn cf !n urmn pfntru mnnf. +ur fn unrf durfrnnlf ntt df cruntf( +un putfn unrf s rfznst( )u durfrn pfrmnnfntf frnm unnnunt, n fu putfnm s nfs ln cnpt cu flf. 0n prnmflf lunn frn df supurtnt, fu lunm dunr rnrfurn cnlmnntf. Mnmn sttfn df multf urn lng mnnf. Fn n n!nt s cumunncf cu mnnf n tcfrf. Fr cu!nntf, dunr cu snmurnlf. Fu frnm ntt df nucuruns s !d, ct df dfpnrtf n n uns fn. *f ln Nnnndn 2nmn n n!nt fn s sf rungf n s mfdntfzf, n fn n fust u flf! snlntunrf. Nun nf ndncfnm dfsfurn n lnnntfn spnrntulun n nf unfnm prnntr-u nnnd n drngustfn, nn cum nm cunuscut fu ncfnstn dunr ln tntn. "ntl mfu frn dfsfurn cu nun, n chnnr n mnmn putfn s-n snmt prfzfnn. *f ctf!n urn nm rfunt, s-u nnu pf mnmn sus, s-n nruncf ctf!n .prn!nrn/ n lumfn spnrntunl. )hnnr n frnnn mfn m !nzntnu unfurn. 0ncftul cu ncftul n ncfput n ln fn s sf tupfnsc durntntfn lur n s sf nmunnf nmngnnfn mntfrnnl. %chnmnnrfn mnmfn n-n pus pf gndurn. Fn nu unsfr!nt c nu st n fnn lur .u sur n rugcnunnn/, cnrf n ncfput s-n fnf frnc ln ntrnffs cnrf ncfnrc s snl!fzf, cffn cf nc sf puntf snl!n. +nnrnnnlf fn frn purf n ndf!rntf, drngustfn fn frn nun. Fn nu trfnunn s !urnfnsc multf, sf putfn snmn, sf putfn !fdfn pf chnpul fn. Mult s-n rugnt fn pfntru frnnn mfn, mult s-n gndnt fn ln fn. n .ln!nnn/ fn !n df!fnn ntr-u nun zn funrtf mnrf. 3 "rfnzfcn n trfn df nnn nm mplnnnt fu nfrn, n tnnm, c ncfnstn !n fn ultnmn mfn zn df srnturnrf. Fu frnm prfgtnt s sufr, frnm ffrncnt, c n!fnm !unf s ndnug n fu nucntn mfn - dnr frnm tuun nucuruns s tnu, c nu !un mnn fn pfnrtu mult tnmp lfgnt df ncfst curp. 'n culn!nfn frn df n dfschns, pnsrfn frn prfgtnt s znunrf, ntfptn dunr sfmnnlul. )u tuntf ncfstfn m npucn ctfudnt tfnmn! Mnchnfl m-n n!frtnznt df n dnn tnmp. Fnn ntfnt, mn-n spus fl, dunnnlf npnr dnn nuu! $n sfrnt mnn strngf nc u dnt %ntnnn mfnghnnn. Fl sf fulusftf df nfsngurnn, rfstul ncfln, cnrf sf nfl ntrf crfdnn n stnnn. Fu nm !zut prfn multf, nm trnt prfn multf, pfntru n dnspfrn. )hnnr n dup cf nu mnn n!fnm putfrf, s m rffugnfz ln Mnchnfl. *nr fu putfnm snmn nfpturnlf df nc, cnrf trfnunnu s m fnc nfsngur, n fu put s-n nflfg pf tun, cnrf sunt stpnnn df dunnn n chnnr dnc sunt crfdnncnun dnu nnpun n sf lupt cu frncn lur. *nr cnnn n n!nt pf !rfmurn nunf s sf rungf, !n putfn trfcf n pfstf ncfstf tfmfrn. Fu frnm nprunpf n ntrfgnmf pnrnlnznt n nu mnn putfnm nncn cu cfn mnn nun !unn s supurt durfrnlf, dunr cucnlmnntf tnrn. Fu df nnnn mnn putfnm s nghnt, mncntul n df!fnnt un chnn. "ut mnn dfs pncnm fu ntr-un sumn ndnc n nncuntnfnt. "ut mnn dfs !fdfnm fu chnpurn n !ns. *f unncfn frn ngfrn, cnrf m !nzntnu n n dfschndfnu cu tnndrff nrnpnlf lur dfnsuprn mfn. *nr mnn frnu n cnucnnturn nfgrf, cnrf sttfnu mnn ln dnstnn ln pnd, dnr cnrf nu rfufnu s sf nprupnf df ncfn ngfrn. Nntr-u nun zn nu !fnnt sprf mnnf trfn mnnunnn n mnrn ngfrn. Fn nu ndus n pfntru mnnf u pfrfchf df nrnpn. )n n fluturnn nf-nm urcnt nun n nfr n nm znurnt sprf sunrf. )fn mnn mnrf ffrncnrf m-n nnundnt pf mnnf. Ntuncn m-nm nturs fu, n nm !zut n dfprtnrf mnrf sun mnnf u cnmfr. Nntr-un pnt frn un curp ndurfrnt, cnrf sf nturcfn dnntr-u pnrtf n cfnlnlt df durfrf n cnrf sf luptn cu munrtfn. ' ffmfnf sttfn n plngfn nfn uturnt nlturn, n spntflf fn sf nflnu dun ngfrn, cnrf u cunsulnu. Ffmfnn s-n untnt n sus ln mnnf - frn mnmn mfn! Fu frnm ncfnn, cnrf sf zntfn nculu us cu munrtf! Nu frn un !ns! Fu nm fust flnnfrnt! Fu frnm lnnfr! n ntuncn nm !zut fu dnn nuu, mnn mnrf n mnn strlucntur dfct urncnd%unrflf! %unrflf mfu! Nnsus )hrnstus! &lnn df nucurnf n mulumnrf nm pncnt fu n gfnunchn. Fu nu nm murnt! Nu! Fu m-nm nscut! Mnchnfl m-n rndncnt, tntn n fust nculu mprfun cu surn Gnrcnn. Fu frnm nnrn ncns! Mnchnfl mn-n ntnns u cup cu cflf mnn mnnunntf fructf pf cnrf fu lf-nm !zut !rfudnt. Mnnc, pun n!fn nf!unf df u ntrnrf. )f ffl df fructf sunt ncfstfn( Flf n npnrnn. Fu lf-nm pstrnt pfntru tnnf. %unt fructflf pf cnrf tu lf-nn culfs pf pmnt. Mn n mn nm mfrs nun sprf cns, n dnrfcnn ncflfn lumnnn. 3333 FPNLUG LN N 2-N FDNNF

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"frnturnnlf spnrntunlf nu sf put nflfgf prnn cunutnn. *nn cuntr- df multf urn nf st n drum. Fncf pnrtf dnn curp n puntf pfrcfpf dunr cffn., cf n trnnsmntf cflf cnncn snmurn nlf nunstrf. Ncurdul cumun, cnrf n nflnt ncfnst cnrtf, m nucur funrtzf tnrf. ) nu mnn fust prnntrf flf rfmrcn crntncf, n chnnr !ucn cnrf sf mputrn!fnu, m-n mpnns sprf fnptul, df n f,plncn ctf!n lucrurn n ncfst fpnlug. Fu nm ncfrcnt s nrt nfmrgnnntn drngustf n lun *umnfzfu, cnrf cuprnndf pf tuntf fnnnflf n cnrf fstf cu mult mnn mnrf n cuprnnztunrf, dfct nun nf-nm putfn nmngnnn. Multf lucrurn puntf c sunt n rfnlntntf nltffl, nun nu putfm s lf pfrcfpfm cu nflfgfrfn nunstr mnc n lumfnsc. *unr )hrnstus ducf sprf "ntl, n Fl fstf drumul! *nr pf cnnf cunducf Fl, cnd n cum pf ncfl drum, fu nu put s m prunun ln ncfnstn. *unr un lucru tnu cu sngurnn- *uhul %u, *uhul %u sfnt, ndnf pfstf tut, chnnr n n nfnrn nnsfrncnlur. &rnn fructflf lur n !fn rfcununtf "rfnunf dunr cn s dfschndfm uchnn n s nf nmnntnm df cfn mnn nmpurtnnt purunc n %nNunnn-! ...! *unr nstn cuntfnz! Nu nf putfm nnrncndn n spntflf dugmflur, n lfgnnlur n n cundnmnrnnlur# *umnfzfu gsftf pf fnfcnrf, n dup ncffn l msunr prnn drngustfn ncfstunn pfntru nprunpflf su.! Nnsfrncn, spu!fdnnnn, sncrnmfntflf, ct df nfnsfmnntf sunt flf, dnc nu cunduc sprf umnlnn n sprf drngustf, n ct df mrff sunt ntuncn cnd nf dnu putfrfn, s crftfm n drngustfn lun )hrnstus! Fu lf mulumfsc n!turnnlur mfn spnrntunln. )ununtfrfn lur, rndnrfn lur n drngustfn lur mn-nu dfnschns drmul spnrntunl n cu ncfnst cnrtf tuturur cflurn, cnrf cnut s fnf umnln. 'ndf sunt strnnf cu!nntf n lntfrf, nculu putfm s mfrgfm n lnnntf n s snmnm !nnrnnnlf, cnrf sf nscund n spntflf cu!nntflur n s nf lsm dus df fn. Nfn nmnn Elfnn, nunfmnrnf 1?>>

*rngustfn lun *umnfzfu fstf tfmn prnncnpnl dnn crnnlf lun Nnn nmnn Elfnn ....nncn vurn df nnd .... nncn vurn df munr f Ncfstf crn sunt dnscursurn nfucntf dfsprf drngustfn lun *umnfzfu. Nfn nmnn Elfnn d n !nlfng pcntul df munrtf n tuturur rflngnnlur- &f *umnfzfu s-$ fnc um n !fnncn, nfmrgnnntn n pfntru nun nfnmngnnnnnln drngustf n %n s-u scurtfzf n s-u ngrdfnsc. Fl du!fdftf lnpfdf n pf nflfsul tuturur, df cf drngustfn lun *umnfzfu nu puntf n!fn mnrgnnn n nu sf uprftf nncn n fnn nndulun, dn mnn nlfs nculu fstf mnn f!ndfnt - nnnfnflfs dnc dugmflf nunstrf, nn!ndnn n durnnn nunstr df putfrf nu nf nchnd uchnn pfntru n !fdfn ncfnstn! )I2JN &FN"2' )'&NN *F N8FNGNMNN E$FNN !UN"F#FLF LFNN $ U"KN% LFN&DN ' mnnunnt cnrtf pfntru cupnn, cu 14 df unncfn nmngnnn dunlf dfsfnntf cu ncunrflf cnrf nu !r fsc dunr cupnnn. Fstf cnrtfn ngfrnlur pfntru cupnn. *fschndf uchnn pfntru lumfn spnrntunl n fstf cntnt cu ncfnnn plncfrf df cupnn n df nduln. !UN"F#FLF LFNN $ '(NN #UPN#ULUN Nl dunlfn !ulum n urncflulun $fnn, cu ncflnn nmngnnn. NFN) "FGFLF PU"#NLU" MN*+"F,N ' cnrtf pfntru cupnn cu !rstf ntrf > - >; df nnn. Nncn pu!fstftf Nfn nmnn Elfnn u pu!fstf drgu df nnnmnlf dfsprf un mnc purc mnstrf pf numf Nfn, cnrf frn df n dnntutdfnunn mnn nltffl dfct cfnlnln. Fl sf znntf cu multf lucrurn cnrf nstzn sunt ln urdnnfn znlfn, fr n n!n cf!n dnn flf. *n, n pn cnd df!nnf Nfn rfgflf purcnnlur mnstrfn, trfnunf s mnn trfnc pfstf multf n!fnturn ' cnrtf df rs -n pfntru n gndn. NN*U* #."N*+U* /N MNJLU#UL NU*+"U )nrtfn trnnsmntf u !fdfrf ndnc n lumfn spnrntulun- gndurn, rugcnunf, mfdntnnf. ' pnrtf prnctnc cunducf pns cu pns n pf nflfsul tuturur sprf u mfdntnnf crftnn ndnc.

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NFNJNMNN KLFNN N CUNUTN TU NGFRUL TU? 1 Frn nunptf, ntuncn cnd s-n nscut Nnrnnrn. Mftrn ntrfgn df nmfn nu ngrupnt ultnmflf rfsturn df drngustf pfntru nprunpflf sun flf. Frngul nnfn nrn cn un dfmun df tfmut n ghfnrflf snlf. Nunptfn n mncnt lumnnn, n spus u dnt Mnchnfl. n cu fl n dnsprut n cldurn. N rmns dunr frngul. Frngul nghfnt! Gfrul n zpndn nnundfnt nu dunurt df n df ctf!n znlf stlpul df curfnt ln pmnt. "fhnncn n fust n!nns# frn ntunfrnc n rfcf. $fmnflf n lumnrnlf fcfnu tut cf lf sttfn n putnn. %f upunfnu nupnn cu punn cldur, n lnnntf n nfunsfr!ntf sf nrdfnu n drngustf, fr n sf rftrngf n fr n spunf cf!n - n fr n ntfptn cf!n n schnmn. &rnn munrtf crfnu !nn prnn lumnn n cldur %nngurntnc n n lnnntf frn mncn cns n mn lucul zpfznn. Nncn u mun, nncn nu ductur nu n !fnnt, fn nncn mcnr nu nu ncfrcnt s n ung nncn. Frn grunznnc! ' putfrf cnudnt !runn s m strn!fnsc. Fu snmfnm frngul, n durfnm s m nturc. Mnchnflf, n ut-m! 'ndf rmnfn fl( Fl n prumns dunr, c nu m !n prsn. Mnchnfl! Fu nm fust strn!nt nn df pnrc m-nr fn npucnt nntf clftn df ufl. )f n fust pn ncum pfntru mnnf scut n sngurnn, nmfnnnn s m dnstrug. *nr cf!n nu n lsnt cn ncfnstn s sf ntmplf. *f n nm nntrnt ntr-un tunfl strmt, n ln cnptul ncfstunn pndfn frngul. ' frnc df pnnnc m-n npucnt. Fu ncfrcnm s m mputrn!fsc, fu !runnm nnpun. *nr prfn trznu! Fstf un nnnt( +ucfn fr tun n mnmfn mflf n mnn lsnt luc punn curnuzntnn. "rfnunn cfl punn s fn fust nnnt. "ntn nu n rspuns. Fl m nnfn nfn uturnt n mnnnlf snlf mnrn, prutfctunrf. Fu frnm fnpn, nu frnm n stnrf s m mnc. Nncn un strngt, nncn u nnhnlnrf, nnmnc. Frngul n ctngnt. Fstf munrt( Fu nm nuznt dnn nuu u !ucf munutun# dup ncffn m-n cuprnns nnrn ntunfrncul, ndnc, nunptfn fr sfrnt. Fu znurnm cn u pnsrf, cn un mnc culnnru, cu hrnncnf df ln u flunrf df lutus ln nltn. $ncul frn mpnznt df nuffrn, sunrflf lumnnn n nclzfn, nrurn df nnurn mncn sf dfsprnndfnu dnn nnrnn udnt df ruu. ' unpt ncfnt ntfn pf ln fs, suflnrfn lun *umnfzfu sf udnhnfn pfstf tut. *fudnt n scunpnt fuc pmntul dnn fnn mfn. %unftul nsurzntur mn-n rupt pur n snmplu urfchnlf. Mnrusul df sulf sf snmfn, dnn grunpn df pf pmnt nsfmntunrf n unun crntfr n znurnt dnrfct sprf mnnf u urnn cnucnntunrf. Nrnpnlf fn urnnf mn tnnu urncf pusnnnlntntf df scpnrf. Frncn m sugrumn, curznlf !ucnlf n ncftnu nctn!ntntfn n n lsnt s munr nptul mfu df frnc. *up ncffn nu n mnn fust nnmnc. 'n nnmnc ndnc, ntunfcnt. *urn mult, mult prfn mult. )nd curpul mfu sf unnnunn df n ncftul cu ncftul cu munrtfn, nu ncfput dnn nuu s-mn lucrfzf plmnnn. *nr lnpsn df u,ngfn n lsnt df n urmf ndncn n crfnfrul mfu. Ncum frn lnmpfdf- Fu nu !un fn nncnudnt .nurmnl/. Mnchnfl n spus-# +n fn funrtf grfu, dnr tu nu !fn rfgrftn. )t df dfs m !un mnn

6:

gndn fu ln ncfnst prupuznnf! Fu nu-n nflfgfnm nc sfnsul. Ncum frn lnmpfdf, df nfcuntfstnt. Fu frnm nsfmnnt, u !nn ntrfng !un fn hnndncnpnt. Mnchnfl, n ut-m! )f m !n ntmpnnn( +un putfn fu unrf rfun( +un fn fu unrf !rfudnt ffrncnt( Nm s put n!fn fu snngur grn df mnnf snu !un dfpnndf u !nn ntrfng df nun!unnn nlturn( 0n mnrf tnnm fu df n cf sf !n ntmpln. Mnchnfl n !urnnt tutul cu mnnf, m-n n!fsflnt, mn-n dnt curn . "untf hnltflf nmpurtnntf dnn !nnn mfn, mn lf-n f,plncnt, sfnsul lur, pusnnnlntnlf n tuntf nnsflf. +n fn grfu, n spus fl, n fu nm fust df ncurd. *nr tuntf ncfstfn s-nu ntmplnt n mprf urrn lnnntntunrf. Fr nf!unf, fr nuln, fr suffrnnf, dunr ffrncnrf n drngustf n nnundfn. N fn putut fu unrf s-mn dnu sfnmn ntuncn, cf m ntfptn df fnpt, nncn( Nm fust fu n stnrf, s m gndfsc ln ncfnst !nn, s snmt mcnr cum fstf fn( Nmnntnrfn ncfnstn s-n tfrs. *nn cf n cf mnn mult plfn, nmngnnnlf df!fnfnu nfclnrf. )n nntf nucn df cfn mnn nprfnu flf dnn lncul untrnn, pfntru n sf dfstrmn nmfdnnt df chnnurnlf !nfnn. n nn frn funrtf nnnf. Nu nr fn fust pusnnnl nltffl, s fncn fn unfn !nfn plnn df nfn unsurn, dfznmgnrn n dnsprfunrn. Nncnudnt nu nm mnn fust fu nn df snngur, nn df nfn uturnt. "rupul n spnrntul s-nu unnt, zdrunnt n mpnns df ctuflf mntfrnfn, df nlfstfmul rulun. Nncnudnt nu m-n mnn ntnns cu nttn putfrf, dfct ln nntfrfn mfn, nmngnnfn cdfrnn dnn pnrndns. &untf s fnf !rfun cuntrnst mnn mnrf( *rngustf n cldur nfmrgnnnt, lnnntf fr lnmntf, n!luntf ntr-u mnrf df tnndrff n nnundfn, znurn u ntlnf cu u fur df nfnmngnnnt. Nmprf urnrfn cnrf mnn nnnntf n fust nn df prutfctunrf, df!nnf un dfmun, ncfnrc s strn!fnsc mncul curp n l fncf s sf zgudunf cn un mnc cutfrmur. )u fur fstf fl mpnns sprf ncfl cnnnl, cnrf cunsducf nfnr n frng, n ngntnnf n nflnnntf. %pnrntul snmtf, c lnnfrtntfn sn sf dfstrnm. *unr cu grfu sf prfd fl n nchnsunrfn curpulun, tnnnd nnnf, c un df cflul !n rmnf pfntru fl mult tnmp nchns - rfnnut n curpul unun nuu nscut, mpnns sprf nfn uturnrf. %nu nn cum fstf n cnzul mfu, cu un curp cnrf nu fstf pfrffct n trfnunf cn s rfnun ln dfz!ultnrfn nurmnl. Mnchnfl mn-n spus u dnt, c nntfrfn sf numftf n &unrtn !nfnn. &fntru mnnf fstf munrtfn spnrntulun, u munrtf grunznnc n chnnuntunrf, dup cnrf dfsfurn urmfnz nunptfn, frngul n nftnnnn, cu dunr un mnc punct df lumnn n dfprtrn. )n un nun prnftfn sf nfnz !nlul untrnn pfstf suflft, cn nntf fulgn df zpnd, cnrf u n!lunfsc dnn cf n cf mnn tnrf. )cn dunr sun u ptur df nfn gruns fstf df supurtnt !nnn, df!nnf pusnnnl s n!fn n s strngn f,pfrnfnf. *unr nncn puntf s crfnsc spnrntul, pn cnd !n strpungf nfnun pf tnmp df prnm!nr cn un crucus n cu gtul lnrg dfschns !n nfn dnn sunrflf dnmnnfnn. Nmn pnrf ru, dnr tnn funrtf nnnf, zpndn n frngul, nu n fust pusnnnl, fu nu nm putut s !nn. Fu tnu! Mnn mult nu n spus tntn. &f fnn sn sf putfn !fdfn nflfgfrfn n trnstffn. $n rf!fdfrfn, dumnul ductur. 2fflf,flf sunt dfrnn ntf, curznnlf !ucnlf sunt pnrnlnzntf, tut curpul fstf munlf n nu rfncnunfnz n nncn un ffl, n spus fl. )upnlul trfnunf dus df ndnt ntr-u clnnnc spfcnnl, mnf mn fstf nmpusnnnl un trntnmfnt. )u un hnndncnp mnrf !n rmnf n urncf cnz. N durnt znlf ntrfgn pn cnd n fust pusnnnl un trnnspurt pn ln clnnnc. "ntn sf ucupn df mnnf cu u drngustf nfmrgnnnt. Mnmn n fust nltffl. Furnn, suprnrfn n trnstffn nu mpnfdncnt rffncfrfn fn nmfdnnt. Nmputrn!nrfn fn frn nn df mnrf, c nu n durnt mult tnmp n n-n sfcnt lnptflf. Ncum n nlucunt tntn n pf mnmn. Fl m schnmnn, mn fncfn nnnf m hrnfn cu cfn mnn mnrf grn n tnndrff. Nrnflf n mnnnlf snlf mn nnpunnu punn dnn sngurnnn pnfrdut. Fu n mulumfnm cu strlucnrfn uchnnlur mfn, n fl n nccfptnt ncfnstn n tcfrf. *f cf m-nn uprnt ntuncn, cn s nu ntrfrup snrcnnn, cnd fu nm n!ut ru ful! )n u snnnf nscunt n znurnt ncfst rfpru prnn nfr. Fn trnftf. "ntn nu !urnfn nncnudnt mult. )f !nnt trnftf! +n fn nfputnncnuns, mut n nfmncnt. Nu !n fn n stnrf s sf ntrfnn snngur, !n fn dunr u pnfdnc nmfns. Nncnudnt nu !n putfn gustn dnn ffrncnrnlf !nfnn, prunnnnl c nncn mcnr nu fstf n stnrf, s gndfnsc lnmpfdf. &f !fcn nf !n fn grfu cu fn, n ncfnstn fstf dunr !nnn tn. tn tu unrf, cf nsfnmn !nnn(, n rfplncnt tntn lnnntnt. Nnc mnn crfzn tu, c !nnn cunst n fnptul, s tnn u purnf ct sf puntf df mnrf dnn turt, cnrf df fnpt fstf pfntru tunt lumfn( )rfzn tu, c ln sfrnt tf !n ntrfnn cnnf!n, ct df multf dnstrncnn nn n!ut( %nu ct df cunfurtnnnl nn trnt( +ucfn sn nrmunnuns nmflnurn durfrfn, cnrf m strpungfn. )tf urf n znlf nm trnt fu cu frnc ntuncn, cnd mnmn n !rut s ntrfrup snrcnnn. *ucturul n sftunt-u, n fn n fust ffrm dfcns pfntru ncfnstn. Gndnn-! ln fnptul, c puntf fn hnndncnpnt! Nu fncf ncfnstn, tf rug fu, lns-m s trnfsc. Nnsfnmn mult pfntru mnnf, ncfnst !nn. Nm nf!unf df ncfnst f,pfrnfn, fn m !n ducf mnn dfpnrtf. "f rug nu dnstrugf, cffn cf s-n cupt df n df mult. Nu mn strncn nnsn, tu nu nn nncn un drfpt. Fu n !un mulumn cu drngustf, ntt ct !un putfn. *umnfzfu tf !n rspltn, cu cffn cf nu put fu. 'rf n nr nm !urnnt cu fn, nm ncfrcnt, s trfzfsc drngustfn n fn, nflfgfrfn. Fn nncn mcnr nu m-n ngnt n sfnm. Fn nncn mcnr nu n !rut s fnf nprunpf df mnnf, nu n !rut s nnstnlfzf u lfgtur sprf mnnf. Fn luptn pfntru dfsprnrf, durfn s scnpf df mnnf. Nu putfn pur n snmplu s supurtf gndul, s fnf nnt ucurnt df nlnn. )u .u pnfdnc ln pncnur/. % fnf lfgnt, s trfnunnsc s-n schnmnf !nnn, s rfnunf. *nr tntn nu n lsnt-u. &f fl l-nm ntnns cu rugmnntfn mfn, fl frn cuntnfnt df sfntnmfntflf mflf, sf nndfntnfncn cu flf. Fu sunt funrtf

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nucuruns n mulumnt, c mn-n fcut pusnnnl ncfnst !nn nlturn df fl. ' pnnglnc tnrf n nunnrnn nf lfng pf nun, !un putfn supurtn cu mnn mult uurnn unflf lucrurn. 3 'nflf cfntrf nmpurtnntf nlf crfnfrulun sunt ct sf puntf df tnrn ntncntf. &fntru ductur frnm pur n snmplu un unnfct, cnrf fcfn pnrtf dnn .mfsfrnn/ sn. 'ntnn-! nncn! Fl m-n nfpnt cu sngurnn df !rfu duuzfcn df urn cu un nc df sus pn us. )nnf n spus c nu put snmn durfrfn, chnnr dnc curpul mfu nu fstf n stnrf, s rfncnunfzf nurmnl( Frn npru,nmntn! n zfcfn unr, n ncfstf ultnmf sptmnn n cnrf fu n trfnunt s ndur ncfstf chnnurn. n pfntru cf( %prf n!nnsnrfn n nnnf n strnn mflf nu n ut n urncf cnz dfluc. *unr u frnc ndnc s-n nscut n mnnf, cnrf s-n nrtnt mnn trznu, n n fust df nfnflfs pfntru cfn dnn urul mfu mputrn!n n tut cf nrtn n clnnnc n n ductur. Nfnumrntflf prunf df sngf, lumnnn rfcf n uchn, cunsultnnnlf nntfrmnnnnnlf s-nu ngrupnt ndnc n sun cuntnfntul mfu. tnu unrf ducturnn, cf sf ntmpl cu un cupnl, cnrf fstf nnut df pncnunrf n n sf d dfudnt drumul ln cnp( &fntru fn fstf cfl mnn nurmnl n mnn nfnmpurtnnt lucru df pf ncfnst lumf. *f zfcf, duuzfcn df urn nm n!ut !unf s f,frsfz ncfnst ncrunnnf. *f fnfcnrf dnt sf strngfn stumncul n dnnfrngmn, cu tuntf c curpul mfu nu frn n stnrf s rfncnunfzf dup cfrnnf. ' frnc fr mnrgnnn m cuprnndfn df fnfcnrf dnt, Fu durfnm s strng, fnfcnrf s nud dnspfrnrfn mfn, dnr curznlf mflf !ucnlf nu nscultnu n nn df sngnnlul nmpfrffct nl crfnfrulun mfu. )nnf putfn msurn, cf nsfnmn pfntru un cupnl, s fnc un flnc flnc pfstf npnrntul df rnzf, dup cf umndntntfn crfnfrulun n fust schnmnnt prnmn unr cu nfr n dup ncffn cu un mn luc nlucuntur( $n fnfcnrf mncnrf pnr s sf prnufnsc n cnp lnnurn ntrfgn df munn. )rfnfrul pnrc !rfn s sf spnrg - n fu nncn mcnr nu putfnm s znnfr. %ptmnn n nr sf dfzlnunnu nc n cnpul mfu furtunn, fr cn ncfstfn s dnspnr dffnnntn!. %-n gndnt unrf !rfudnt unul dnn ncftn ducturn, ln frncn df f,nstfn, ntuncn cnd curpul fstf cuprnns df duu nrnf n fstf mpnns ntr-un .tunfl sunnrf df rnzf/( %fcundflf df!nn urf ntrfgn. *f undf n nnu putfrfn, cnnf lf-n dnt drfptul, s sfnrmf suflftflf, n chnnr fr s punt !nndfcn trupurnlf( )nnf n nn!fntnt ncfstf mftudf nun df chnnunrf( )nnf lf-n lfgnlnznt( )nnf n schnmnnt gndnrfn n nnstntunnlf, prnn npnrntf gunlf, cnrf put s-l mpnrt pf un um n sutf df nucn n s nrntf dnngnuzn pfrffct, pfntru n-n fn urcrun ductur df fulus n tfrnpnf( %nngur - cu tuntf c fstf mult hfctnc. &rsnt - cu tuntf c ftn tut tnmpul sun unsfr!nnf. Nfn uturnt - cu tuntf c nn multf n utunrf n urul tu. Frn rcunrf n ntunfrnc. *unr punn lumnn nducfn surn Nfnfdnctn, crunn n-nm fust ncrfdnnnt df ctf!n znlf. )u tuntf c lucrn df fnfcnrf dnt pn ln fpunznrf, fmnnn lnnntf, cnrf pru!fnfn df undf!n dnn ndncurn. &fntru fn frn !nnn, drngustfn n n uturul tut ncflnn lucru. Fn sf prncfpfn, s nstupf multf rupturn n s m mpncf ct df ct dnn nuu cu ncfnst lumf. Fn n!fn n trfnurnlf fn, trfnunn s prnctncf n lucrurn nfplcutf, df f,fmplu s nn u prun df sngf snu s schnmnf !rfun nnndn . Fn fcfn ncfnstn df fnfcnrf dnt cu u scuz mut n nnnmn fn. %trlucnrfn n undflf fn m nfurnu n cldur n drngustf n nfutrnlnznu durfrfn ntuncn cnd ncfnstn sf furmn. $n fn tnnm c fstf nfcfsnr, fstf gndnt, n sf ntmpln ct mnn ntfnt pusnnnl. )nnf lf-n furnt unrf cflurlnn drngustfn( Nunptfn n nghnnt lumnnn. n ln stnngfrf n lunt n tunt cldurn cu snnf. N rmns dunr frngul. Ncfstf zfcf sptmnn n clnnnc nu fust dup nntfrfn mfn cfn mnn rfn f,pfrnfn. $n ncfst gnd nc mn mnn trfc pfstf spntf fnurn rfcn. 3 "ntn m lunsf, mut n nflfgtur cn ntutdfnunn, ncun urnt cu strlucnrf df lumnn. Fl m-n lsnt s m cufund n fn, n lumfn s-n scufundnt n urul mfu. *nsprutf pf nfsnmntf nu fust urflf rflf, pncfn n nuntntfn dumnfnu. 'n !ns fr s durm m rpnsf, fu plutfnm nsfmfnfn unun !l df cfn n ntmpnnnrfn lumnnnn, m-nm scufundnt ntr-u cnscnd dnn mnn df scntfn df lumnn. Nmn fcfn nfsfrnt df nnnf. Nn!nurnt n ntrnt mnm nfznt fu pf u cmpnf, ncun urnt df mnn dnntrf cflf mnn frumunsf flurn. Nnnf mnrusntur, lnmpfdf, rcrus frn nfrul. Nnrnnrn! Mnchnfl sttfn lng mnnf. 0n mnrcmnntfn lun nln snmpl cu curfnun dnn pnftrf prfnunsf, mnc n ncnttunrf nfnnrfn, tnnfrfnsc, nprunpf punn trfngrfnsc fnn, nprunpf prfn tnr dup punctf df !fdfrf umfnftn. &f dfplnn tcut m lu fl n nrnflf snlf. *f ln nntfrfn mfn nu l mnn rf!zusfm. "u nn fust un tnmp ndflungnt plfcnt. Fu tf-nm strngnt, nu m-nn nuznt tu, nndnr( Fu tf-nm nuznt, cupnlul mfu, n fu tf nsngur, c nm fust tutdfnunn ln tnnf. *nr fu nu tf-nm !zut. Ncfnstn nncn nu putfnn tu.

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*nr n nnnntf tf-nm !zut fu tutun ntutdfnunn, dnc n!fnm dur fn df tnnf, fu nncn mcnr nu trfnunn s tf chfm u dnt. *nr ncum ftn tu pf pmnt n trfnunf s tf ncumudfzn cu lfgnlf lun. Flf sunt sf!frf, nfmnlunsf n df nfschnmnnt. Frn nfcfsnr, s tf lns snngur n ncfst tnmp. "u trfnunn s tf ncumudfzn, n!fnn funrtf multf df ntmpnnnt, nn putut s fncn df n funrtf multf f,pfrnfnf. $n ncfnstn frn nfcfsnr, cn tu s fnn snngur, fr nncur df snl!nrf. $n ncfnstn n-nr fn fust mnn uur, dnc tu nn fn fust prnn mnnf mfrfu nmnntnt df cf!n mnn frumus. *nr ncfnstn fstf numnn u pnrtf n lucrurnlur. Mnchnfl fcusf u pnuz lung. Nntr-ndf!r .s !nd/ put pf pmnt numnn funrtf punnn. 'nurn lf fstf ncfnstn nscut. &fntru fn fstf ncfstn un mnrf f,nmfn - fstf funrtf grfu, s fulusftn curfct ncfst dnr - , snu fn nu unflf snrcnnn prfcnsf. Nltffl fstf .!zul/ numnn ntuncn pusnnnl, dnc un um fstf n stnrf, s curflfzf uscnlnnn sn pf dfplnn cu uscnlnnn nunstr. Ncfnstn fstf ns mult mnn curnt n duhu!nncfnsc, cu nncn u mntfrnf mpu!rnt. Multf unstnculf sf nfl prnntrf unmfnn pf pmnt. 'n lucru numnn !rfnu fu s-n nrt df n nstzn, cfl mnn mnrf n cfl mnn grfu. Ncfstn fstf urn n tuntf snmmnntflf nrudntf cu ncfnstn, n!nnunrf, mnnf, lnps df drngustf. 'rn pruducf uscnlnnn cfn mnn usnnc, cfn mnn nspr, cfn mnn ndnc. Fn tf trngf n us n fncf mpusnnnl fnfcnrf cuntnct cu lumfn spnrntunl. 'scnlnnn fn sf puntf ndfsn nn df tnrf, c unnn unmfnn, ct df ct sfnsnnnln, put s u snmt df n curpurnl . Fn nu fstf, cf-n drfpt, mutn!ul fnfcrfn suffrnnf, cn u cunsfcnn n prnmulun mutn!, pf cnrf fu mnn trznu n-l !un f,plncn nc# dnr fn fstf cfl mnn dfstructn! sfntnmfnt n gfnfrnl. Fn dnstrugf tutul, nu-n lns drngustfn nncn cfn mnn nfnsfmnnt nns. n fu nm ncfput, s ursc tutul, cf fstf mputrn!n mfn. Mnmn mfn, clnnncn, ducturnn. "u !fzn ncum, c nu n fust drfpt. 'rn tf trngf n us ln nn!flul cfl mnn df us n cfl mnn dfns, undf lfgfn, cnrf fstf nnzn mntfrnfn, npnrf pf dfplnn sprf n fn purtnt. *urfrfn fstf unn dnn ustntncf, pfstf cnrf dnspunf mntfrnn. "f lu!ftf cfl mnn tnrf, dnc tf nfln pf trfnptn cfn mnn df us. *urfrfn nu fstf u mrnmf dnt dnnnnntf. Fn fstf cundus prnn nfr!n ln crfnfr, n df-nnnn nculu sf furmfnz sfntnmfntul df durfrf. Ncfstn dfpnndf ns df stnrfn, n cnrf sf nfl crfnfrul tu# n dfunrfcf gndnrfn fstf sunurdunnt snmulun - chnnr dnc ncfst lucru fstf nstzn nltffl n!nt n lumfn rnnunnl - , dfpnndf sfntnmfntul df durfrf mnn nlfs df stnrfn suflftulun nustru. 'nn n ncffnn durfrf, trnt n stnrfn df uscnlnnf n urnn, fstf nffgnlnt mnn tnrf snmnt dfct n stnrfn df uscnlnnf n drngustfn, n nflfgfrnn n n nfrtrnn. *f ncffn, dfcn, nu fust durfrnlf nn df nnsupurtnnnlf, nn df plnnf df !nulfn nrutnl! +fzn tu ncum, cf ffl df f,pfrnfnf nmpurtnntf nn fcut tu df n( "u nn cunuscut unn dnntrf cflf mnn nmpurtnntf n flfmfntnrf lfgn- *fpnndf df stnrfn suflftulun duhu!nncfsc, ct df ndnc tf nclcftn tu n mntfrnf. F,prfsnnlf suflftulun sunt sfntnmfntflf, n, nn!frs, stnnnlftn tu cu sfntnmfntflf tnlf stnrfn df uscnlnnf n suflftulun tu duhu!nncfsc. nnfn cn f,fmplu u pfndul n fnn uchnlur. )u ct mnn ncft uscnlnnz fn, dfcn, cu ct mnn us fstf stnrfn fn df uscnlnnf, cu ntt mnn uur df cuprnns df!nnf fn. )u ct mnn rfpfdf uscnlnnz fn, cu ntt mnn grfu fstf, s u cuprnnzn, pn tu ln urmn urmfn nu nn nnsulut df luc nncn u nns, pfntru c fn uscnlnnz nn df rfpfdf, c tu nu mnn pun s-u !fzn# fn n dnsprut dnn cmpul tu !nzunl. "utun n-nr !fnn nnmfnn pf ndffn s spun, pfnduln nu f,nst, pfntru c fu n-u mnn !d. )nlfn pfndulfn pn nncn s-n putut tutun urmrn. Fstf lugnc. $ugnc fstf ns numnn cffn, cf nun putfm nflfgf cu mnntfn nunstr n putfm s nf gndnm. "rfn cu trfn fnc nsf. Ncfnstn fstf tutun lugnc, spunf fnfcnrf. &fntru un cupnl mnc nu fstf ncfnstn nnsulut df luc lugnc, mnntfn lun nu fstf nc tucmnn nn df mnturnznt. *f ncffn fnc ns trfn cu trfn tutun nsf, chnnr dnc cupnlul nc nu nflfgf ncfnstn. *f ndnt cf umul fstf ns mntur, fstf fl df prfrf, c nr tn ntuncn tuntf. $n ncfnstn fstf rnnunfn umulun n cumpnrnnf cu cfn mnn nnlt cuntnfn cusmnc, ntuntfcunuscturul *umnfzfu, nncn mcnr un gruntf df nnsnp n dffrt. Nnnpun ln f,fmplul nustru- Nn cum pfnduln dnspnrf dnn !zul uchnlur tn, cnd fn uscnlnnz mnn rfpfdf, nn sunt n fnnnflf nn!nznnnlf, cnrf sf nfl ntr-u stnrf df uscnlnnnf mnn nnlt. 'n ngfr snu u fnnn duhu!nncfnsc puntf s sf n mntfrnnlnzfzf, cf-n drfpt, n nnumntf - funrtf rnrf - cundnnn n s nduptf cu ncfnstn u stnrf df uscnlnnf mnn uns. *nr df rfgul fstf ncfst fnpt tucmnn nn!frs- tu trfnunf s tf trnnspun ntr-u stnrf df uscnlnnf mnn nnlt, pfntru n putfn fncf lfgturn cu ncfstf fnnnf. )u ct mnn dfs!rnt n rfuftf ncfnstn, cu ntt mnn dfs!rnt !n fn n cuntnctul, cu ntt mnn dfs!rnt !fn putfn tu snmn unntntfn df fsfn n lur. Ncfnstn mfrgf ncfpnd prnn prfsnmnrn snmplf pfstf snmnrn n nuznrn pn ln !fdfrn, rfspfctn! n dfs!rnrfn sprf pfrsunnn dnn fn cu ncflfnn drfpturn. *nc !rfn tu n cunsfcnn s nntrn n cuntnct cu lumfn duhu!nncfnsc, ntuncn f!nt tutul cf n usftf stnrfn tn df uscnlnnf. $n ncfnstn npnrnnf pf lng sfntnmfntf n gndnrfn tn, nfptunrfn tn n nc mnn multf lucrurn# dnr dfsprf ncfstfn mnn trznu. *nntrf sfntnmfntf fstf urn cfn mnn df us. Fn tf nnf us, tf lfng tnrf n mntfrnf n fncf nmpusnnnl fnfcnrf ncfrcnrf, s tf dfz!uln mnn dfpnrtf duhu!nncfsc n suflftfsc. 'rmfnz ncum multf trfptf pn ln drngustfn curnt, nffgunst. )u fn pun tu s ptrunzn pn n cflf mnn nnltf cmpurn nlf lumnn duhu!nncftn, n dfs!rnrf pn ln trunul lun *umnfzfu. *rngustfn dfscunf tuntf purnlf, fn fstf %fznm-ul -dfschndf-tf nl lumnn duhu!nncftn.. )nd tu ncfpusfn ntuncn n clnnnc, s urtn tutul, tf-nn pus tu pf trfnptn cfn mnn nnffrnunr. "ut cf fstf nfgntn! n trfnunt df ncffn s tf lu!fnsc cu cfn mnn mnrf putfrf. Nunln fstf nl dunlfn, cu durfrfn nprupnnt nrudnt ustntnc nl mntfrnfn. "u pun prunnnnl s n prfsupun, cffn cf urmfnz ncum. $umfn duhu!nncfnsc nu cununtf nncn u nunl. )u ct mnn ndnc fstf stnrfn tn df uscnlnnf, cu ct mnn mult tu tf ducn dfcn n mnnnlf mntfrnfn, cu ntt mnn f,pus ftn tu ln ncfnstn. Nn!frs- tu pun s

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scnpn df fn, prnn ncffn c tu, cu n uturul sfntnmfntflur mnn nnltf, mnn nlfs dfcn cu drngustfn, tf mntn ctrf cmpul duhu!nncfsc. %fntnmfntflf tnlf sunt cn dfgftf pf hnrpn !nfnn. Flf ntnng curznlf, nlf crur mrnmn df nntunnnn dftfrmnn uscnlnnnlf suffltulun tu duhu!nn!fsc. F,frsfnz-tf n nntunnnnlf nnltf, curntf. 'scnlnnnlf lur nspnr ln nfmrgnnnrf. Mult tnmp nm mfrs nun nn tcun unul pf lng cfllnlt. *umnfn u stnrf df pncf, nprunpf ffstn!. %unrflf, cu tuntf c nu sf !fdfn nncnundf, rspndfn u lumnn df nsfrnrf cnld. Fl prfn s fnf pfstf tut, nncn u umnr nu n sf putfn mputrn!n. &rul cu npn lun lnmpfdf cn crnstnlul curgfn ncft n us. Nfrul frn plnn df u uscnlnnf spfcnfnc, suprnnnturnl, cnrf nu putfn fn snmnt numnn cu urfchnlf, cn cu tut curpul. 'n sfntnmfnt nfdfscrns df sngurnn m ptrundfn. Nnstnnctn! m-nm prnns strns df nsunturul mfu. Fstf u mnrf mnlustn!nrf, c fu nm !unf s tf nntruduc df n ln ncfputul !nfnn tnlf n ncfstf lucrurn, pf cnrf muln nc nu lf cunusc ln sfrntul !nfnn lur. Fstf ns n ncflnn tnmp n u mnrf rfspunsnnnlntntf pfntru tnnf. &rucfdfnz cunfurm ncfsturn, rspndftf lumnnn pf pmnt! 3 )nd fu m-nm trfznt nnrn, frnm df n ncns. 0n snl n n mhnnrf m nfn mnmn mfn, pfntru n m hrnn npun cu pnrfu df lnptf. &fntru prnmn dnt n-nm fust n stnrf, s-n dnu rfplnc ln furnn fn. +nsul mfu m nnfn nc pf dfplnn prnns. Frn un sfntnmfnt mnnunnt. Fu putfnm s-n ntmpnn lnpsn fn df drngustf cu drngustf, nnfnm dfpnrtf frngul cu cldurn. )n u plntu sf pusfsf fn prutfctunrf n urul mfu, n dnntr-u dnt nu mnn durfn frngul. 0n dfcursul tnmpulun nm n!nt fu, c nu trfnunf nfnprnt s rspunzn rfspnngfrfn cu rfspnngfrf n lnpsn df drngustf cu lnps df drngustf. Ncfstf sfntnmfntf nfgntn!f dur numnn ntuncn, dnc lf lnn s ntrf n tnnf. Numnn ntuncn put flf s rnfnsc n s pruduc rnn. 0n ncfl mumfnt ns, n cnrf sf rfuftf, s sf prfschnmnf, ncfnst fnfrgnf nfgntn! n s fnf trnmns nnpun cn drngustf, nu mnn fstf nncn un .rznun/ pusnnnl. 'n lupttur cu snnnn puntf s luptf numnn nttn tnmp, ct fl sf lu!ftf df mputrn!nrf. *nc lu!nturn lun sf ducf n nfnnt, !n ncftn fl df ndnt stupffnnt. ' mnngf df tfnns znunr numnn ntuncn nnpun, cnd fn sf lu!ftf df pmntul tnrf n pf dfnsuprn cnd fstf nlnmfntnt n nnrn lu!nt nnpun cu fnfrgnf nuu prnn putfrfn cflun cnrf lu!ftf cu pnlftn. Fn n pnfrdf tunt fnfrgnn, dnc sf lu!ftf df pmnt munlf n cnrf cfdfnz n dnc nnmfnn nu fstf nculu, cnrf s-u lu!fnsc nnpun. "ut nn sf ntmpl n cu urn n mnnn. Mnmn mfn n fust ntr-ndf!r funrtf stupffnnt, cnd fu nm ntrfrupt pfntru prnmn dnt ncfst .mnc rznun duhu!nncfsc/ ntr-un nsfmfnfn ffl. 'nrfcum, fn n-n mnn putut s-n dfscnrcf furnn fn nsuprn mfn. $n ncfnstn n trfnunt ns ntr-ndf!r srncul mutnn pftru s suffrf, cnrf chnnr n s-n strfcurnt ntrf pncnunrf nfprfsnmnnd nnmnc. *nr pnsncnlf pnr s fnf tnrn n n ndurn. $u!nturn df pncnur n-n prncnnunt ntr-ndf!r u clturnf n znur nfdurnt df mnn muln mftrn, nu n-n putut ns nncn mcnr unnnf un mnnu df durfrf. +nnn mfn n fust ln ncfput ct sf puntf df munutun. Mfn mfn nu sf prfn ngrn fn df mnnf, n chnnr n frnnn mfn, 7urst df dunsprzfcf nnn n 8nlln df zfcf nnn, n!fnu nltcf!n mnn nun df fcut, dfct s stfn n cumpnnnn .cnprfn prustnncf/. Ncfn cnpr prustnnc frnm fu. $nnntnt sttfnm fu tunt znun n culul mfu n prfnm s nu rfcfpnunfz prfn multf dnn mprf urrnlf mflf. Nu putfnm s !urnfnsc# pnrnlnznn n ntrufnnt curznlf mflf !ucnlf# fu !un rmnf pf !fcn mut. ' urfchf frn ntru tutul surd, cfnlnlt fucnunn dunr punn. Nrnflf n pncnunrflf mflf frnu slnntf, nfr!nn mfn nu !runnu s rfncnunfzf. 'n dfffct n sunstnnn fmntunrf, cnrf fncf pusnnnl cuntnctul ntrf nfr!n n muchn, n spus ducturul. ' nunl funrtf rnr *n, ct sf puntf df rnr, dnr fu trfnunn s m ncumudfz cu fn. % stnu nu putfnm, dfct ntuncn cnd frnm pruptnt, n mnmn dunr rnrfurn frn df ncurd cu ncfnstn. *f rfgul frnm culcnt pf u ptur mnc n cnmfrn df zn. *f fnpt nu frn un luc chnnr ntt df ru. Nnrnn fmnnn funrtf mult cldur sunn df nculu. Fu nunfnm funrtf mult cldurn. Fn nntrn n mnnf, m nclzfn ndnc nuntru, m umplfn cu tutul. Frn u cldur ndf!rnt, !nf, fmnnnt df lfmnul cnrf sf nrdfn pfntru ncfnstn. Fu m-nm gndnt dfsurn ln ncfnstn. *unr n!fnm tnmp sufncnfnt. )f sf puntf fncf ntuncn, cnd ftn cundnmnnt s stnn, pur n snmplu( Nnnfnflfs, fu durmfnm mult, cfl punn n prnmnn nnn. *nr cflflnltf urf( Flf durnu funrtf mult, ntuncn cnd nu pun fncf nnmnc, ctfudnt mult prfn mult. Fu frnm tutun mulumnt, c uchnn mfn nu nu fust ntncnn prfn tnrf. 0n cns !fdfnm tutul, nfnr n lumnnn strlucntunrf n!fnm dnfncultn. %fnsnnnlntntfn pfntru lumnn frn prfn mnrf, df multf urn frn nnflnmnt cun uctn!n n ncfst lucru frn durfrus. )nd nm prnmnt mnn trznu uchflnrn fumurnn, n df!fnnt sntunnn cu mult mnn nun. 'chnn mfn frnu prnctnc snngurul urgnn, cu cnrf putfm nntrn n cuntnct cu tut cffn cf m ncun urn. Fu putfnm urf n nr s m unt ln un lucru snu s m unt ln mutf snu ln flurn. 2ndnrfn fstf u trstur nmpurtnnt n mnrf n lun *umnfzfu, n spus Mnchnfl. Nncfnrc s tf nntrfnfzn n ncfnstn, ct df dfs pun tu. Ntuncn nu prfn nm nflfs nn df nnnf sfnsul spusflur lun. *nr nu frn nn df grn!. Nunln mfn m-n cundus. Fn mn-n lsnt nlfgfrfn dunr ntrf prutfst n rndnrf snu dnspfrnrf. 2ndnrfn frn .rul cfl mnn mnnur/ dup prfrfn mfn. Fu sunt nfmrgnnnt df mulumnt pfntru f,pfrnfnflf, pf cnrf nm n!ut !unf s lf trnfsc, pfntru n uturul, pf cnrf fu l-nm prnmnt. Nunln mfn mn-n fust un nun n!tur. Ntuncn n mnn fn schnmnnt urncnd cu un trup sntus. Nstzn n mulumfsc nf "nt, c nu nn dnt !unf cn s sf ntmplf.

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*unr un urn prfffr u cup frumus sculptnt n fn!unrfn unun nulgrf df nur. Fu nunfsc fflul cum Mnchnfl nflfgfn, s f,plncf lucrurn mnrn cu pnldf snmplf. )urpul, n!flnul mntfrnnl, fstf nmfdnnt ln ncfputul !nfnn drunt dnstrugfrnn, fr n sf dfplnsn sf ndrfnpt sprf prnunrf, dnr cf !nlunrf nrf fl fn df spnrntul nfmurntur( Fl fstf nchnsunrfn sn, l puntf nchndf n zdrunn, dn, ctfudnt l puntf uprn cu tutul - dnr dunr pfntru scurt tnmp. 0n cfl mnn ru cnz fstf un sumn cn n lun nln cn zpndn, cnrf df multf urn nu durfnz nncn u sut df nnn. *f un prnn cu numflf df munrtf fstf trfznt cu un srut dnn sumn spnrntul. )t df nnnf fstf, dnc fl puntf rfcununtf, c nu s-n lsnt prnd cflun cnrf l-n nchns, c n trnnt curpul n - ufncnnl s-n supus cu umnlnn - dnr n sfcrft n urcnt pf cflf mnn nnltf culmn. )f l nntfrfsfnz pf un pun, cnd nfsf, cun n, pf cnrf fl mnn nnnntf n spnrt-u( )f fulus nu tuntf plcfrnlf n nucurnlf trupftn n mprnn lun *umnfzfu( Ncflun, cnrf prnmftf cu mnl ncfnst cununtfrf. )urpul mfu n nlucunt ncfnst cununtfrf. Fr mnl, nrutnl - n tutun nfmrgnnnt df nunntur. 2ndnrfn( %f puntf gsn unrf n strfsul !nfnn( 0n nspnrnnn curpurnl, cnrf slu ftf dunr pfntru n sntnsfncf nf!unlf mntfrnnlf( )u muumnrf prnmfsc fu ncfst ustntnc, cnrf n zdrunnt curpul mfu, cnrf n drmnt zndurnlf nchnsurnn n n flnnfrnt spnrntul. Gfrmnnn, mntfmntncn, futnnlul frn urnrul frnnnlur mfn# pf nl mfu scrnn ns rndnrf n drngustf. Frn u cunl dur. )fl mnn ru frn fnptul, c nu m putfnm ntunrcf nncn mcnr snngur. Fu sttfnm dfsfurn znlf ntrfngn pf ncfnnn pnrtf. Mnmn nu n fcut cu sngurnn ncfnstn cu nntfnnf, dnr fn nu frn pur n snmplu cnpnnnl, s sf pun n lucul mfu. Fu sttfnm nn df mult pf u pnrtf pn cnd pnflfn sf nnflnmn df n. Frnu chnnurn mnrn n nntfrmnnnnnlf pf cnrf fu n trfnunt s lf supurt ntuncn. Nu putfnm s urlu# nn gfmfnm urf ntrfgn, dnr dunr cu rfzultntul, c mnmn sf rftrgfn n mnn mult fn df mnnf, pfntru c .plngcnunsn n furn n ultnmul grnm df nfr!n/. Fu ncfrcnm ntutdfnunn, s nu sdfsc urn, s nu fnc !rfun rfpru n s nu cundnmn. Frn nfmrgnnnt df grfu n m custn dfsfurn tuntf furflf. Frngul nu sf nmflnurfnz prnn frng, dnr cldurn tupftf cu tnmpul tunt ghfnn, n spus Mnchnfl. Fu tnnm c fl n!fn drfptntf. Fu mnn tnnm, c ncfstn frn snngurul drum, frn drumul mfu. *nr frn mult prfn nnrupt, pnftrus n nlunfcus. *f multf urn m gndfnm- prfn nnrupt. Fu snmfnm ntuncn putfrfn trupulun. )u cfn mnn mnrf nrm n sn, cu durfrfn, m pfdfpsfn fl ntuncn pf mnnf. n spnrntul nu n!fn nc putfrfn nfcfsnr s sf rndncf dfnsuprn. Fu frnm nc prnnzunnfrn curpulun mfu, n sfntnmfntflur mflf. *urfrfn cuntruln rfncnnlf n gndnrfn. Grfu n lung fstf drumul, cn s dfspnrn tfmpurnr sfntnmfntflf n prfrnlf curpulun n s lf pun ln dnspuznnn nntfrnurulun, ndf!rntulun Fu, n spnrntulun. N !fdfn, n nuzn, n mnrusn, n gustn n n snmn nu nu !unf s dfzlnunf rfncnn nutumntf n cunfurm sntunnfn, n spus u dnt Mnchnfl. "u trfnunf s rfcunutn ncfstf snmurn n s lf nrfgnstrfzn. *nr nu lsn nncnudnt cn flf s-n cuntrulfzf fnptflf n sfntnmfntflf tnlf. )nd cnnf!n tf n ur, ntuncn tu ftn suprnt, dnc cnnf!n tf dnsprfunftf, ftn trnst, dnc cnnf!n tf lnud, tu tf nucurn, n dnc cnnf!n n prncnnunftf u durfrf, ntuncn tu ncfpn s-l urtn. "u ftn ln ffl cn n un runut- *nc npfn pf un nutun, ntuncn fncf fl ncfnnn mncnrf pruprnf lun. )rfzn tu, c *umnfzfu n !rut s crffzf runun( Ntuncn nr fn putut fncf Fl tutul cu mult mnn uur. Fl n crfnt cu umul u fnnn, cnrf fstf dutnt cu tutul, c n d pusnnnlntntfn cn s fnf lnnfr, pfntru cn fl s punt n lnnfrtntf s urcf pf cflf mnn nnltf culmn nlf sffrflur. Multf pfrnculf pndfsc ln mnrgnnfn drumulun. Mult prfn dfs sf lns umul cun!nns, n !nndf prfnunsn lnnfrtntf pfntru u pnnf cu unt. "untf plcfrnlf nfftnnf, dfpfndfnflf mntfrnnlf n sf,unlf, nlcuhulul, fumntul, drugurnlf, tnnlftflf, mudn, cnrf trfnunf nfnprnt rfspfctnt, tuntf lucrurnlf ncflfn, pf cnrf trfnunf s lf fncn, cn s fn mnrf n fnn lumnn, mnnnfn cfn nuu, df cnrf fstf nf!unf, pfntru c n !fcnnul nrf unn, spurtul cfl nuu, fr cnrf nu ftn dfmn df sucnftntf, curntul, pfntru nrtnt !fcnnfn, c sf puntf n mnn nnnf. F,nst mnn df nstffl df .nfuruzf furntf/, cnrf nnuf tunt lnnfrtntfn, n l fnc pf um cn s df!nn un runut. n tutun n prnmnt umul u nrm mnnunnt, cnrf puntf nnf pnfpt tuturur ntncurnlurdrngustfn. *rngustfn sprf *umnfzfu n!nngf tuntf ncfstf prnmf dn. *rngustfn pfntru *umnfzfu nsfnmn s-$ nunftn pf ncfln, cnrf tf-n crfnt, mutn!ul n n ncflnn tnmp cnptul dfz!ultrnn mflf, Ncfln cnrf n-n dnt un sfns f,nstfnfn mflf, s-n nturc n dfplnn lnnfrtntf drngustfn %n. Ncfnst drngustfn dununr tuntf nnrfrnflf# cn un fnrtf, cn pf u sur !rfn *umnfzfu cn nun s fnm nlturn df Fl. Nu cn un %tpn mnrf !rfn cn s-$ nunnm, nu dnn cnuzn nflfpcnunnn %nlf, dnn cnuzn mrfnfn nfmrgnnntf n n supfrnurntnn %nlf. Fl !rfn dunr s fnf nunnt, pfntru c f,nst, cum un cupnl n nunftf mnmn, n mnmn n nunftf cupnlul. Ncfnst drngustfn ndf!rnt trfnunf s crfnsc, cn fn s nu fnf tulnurnt df nnsulut nnmnc. Nnmnc s n-u mnn dfrnn fzf n !fcn snu s-u sunnfzf. Fn fstf cf!n unnc, cf!n df nfntrfcut, cf!n sfnt. Fn fstf mrfn, cfl mnn nnlt lucru cnrf n f,nstnt n !n f,nstn. Fn fstf cnuzn n sfnsul !nfnn, dn, fstf nsun !nnn. *nr nu fstf pusnnnl, cn s fn crfnt cu u nsfmfnfn drngustf. )hnnr n pfntru un *umnfzfu ntutputfrnnc nu fstf pusnnnl. )cn ntuncn nr fn crfnt dunr nntf runun. )f cuntfnz u drngustfn pfntru mnnf, cnrf nu nrf nncn u nlfgfrf, cnrf trfnunf s m nunfnsc, pfntru c n lnpsftf pusnnnlntntfn, cn s nu fnu nunnt( *rngustfn unfn ffmfn fstf df ncffn nn df prfnuns, pfntru c fn s-n dfcns n lnnfrtntf pfntru ncfnstn. Fn nr fn ct sf puntf df nf!nluruns, dnc nr f,nstn pf lumf dunr un nrnnt, nn c fn nu nr mnn n!fn df fnpt nncn u nltfrnntn!. *f nnnn dfcnznn lnnfr fncf nn df prfnuns drngustfn. n pfntru *umnfzfu. Fl nu n !rut runun. Nn n trfnunt s nf crffzf nlfgfrn pfntru dfz!ultnrf, undf nun putfm s nf hutrm n lnnfrtntf. &fntru *umnfzfu snu pfntru nnnn, pfntru *umnfzfu snu pfntru sf,, pfntru *umnfzfu snu dfpfndfnn df drugurn, pfntru *umnfzfu snu pfntru nfnumrntflf .nfuruzf furntf/. *umnfzfu nf lns !unt ncfnst nlfgfrf. Fl nu puntf n nu nrf !unf s nntfr!nn. Muln spun, fu crfd df nnnn ntuncn n *umnfzfu, cnd l !d, ntuncn cnd Fl n nfptunt u mnnunf n fnn uchnnlur mfn, cn fu s put fn sngur. *nr cf nr fn ntuncn, dnc Fl nr nfptun u nstffl df mnnunf( *nc Fl s-nr nrtn n mrfnn n mnnunnn %n( Ntuncn nr spunf ntr-ndf!r fnfcnrf- *n, ncum put n sfrnt s crfd, ncum tf !un nunn ntr-ndf!r. *nr ncfnstn nu mnn fstf u nlfgfrf lnnfr. Ncfn

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drngustf nu !nlurfnz nnsulut nnmnc. Fn nu pru!nnf dnn nnnm, cn dnn rnnunf. *rngustfn cnlculnt puntf fn ctfudnt cunfundnt pf pmnt cu drngustfn ndf!rnt, dnr pf *umnfzfu nu pun s-$ nfln. Nr fn tut ncflnn lucru, cn n cnd u ffmfnf l-nr nunn pf un nrnnt dunr ntuncn, dnc n sf pnr dfstul df mnrn pruprnftnnlf snlf n dnc ncfstn nrf dfstun nnnn. Ncfnstn nu nrf df-n fncf nnmnc cu drngustfn. Ndf!rntn drngustfn - n ncfnstn f,nst dunr ln *umnfzfu - fstf pur df urncf udfcnt. Fn nu punf cundnnn, nu ntfnpt nnmnc n schnmn. Fn nunftf pur n snmplu. Nn !rfn *umnfzfu cn Fl s fnf nunnt. %nmplu, pfntru c f,nst. Nu dnn cnuzn, cn nun s nu n ungfm n .nnd/# dnn dnn cnuzn, cn nun s n ungfm n .rnn/ n s n!fm nculu lnnntfn !fnnc# nu, pfntru c *umnfzfu nrf tuntf pusnnnlntnnlf, c s nf fnc ct mnn plcut .!nnn !fnnc/. *umnfzfu nu !rfn s fnf nunnt dnntr-un mutn! snu nltul, cn dunr pfntru snmplul fnpt c f,nst. n pfntru ncfnstn nu fstf nncn mcnr nfcfsnr, cn Fl s stfn dfpnrtf df pmnt, dfunrfcf f,nst lucrurn, cnrf nf dnu nltfrnntn!f, c Fl nf lns u ndf!rnt nlfgfrf. %fmnf f,nst dfstulf, Fnfcnrf, cnrf l cnut, l ! gsn pf Fl pfstf tut dnn nflug. )f fstf nnturn nltcf!n, dfct un mnrncul n lun *umnfzfu( Flunrfn, cnrf crftf dnn np, pumul, cnrf crftf dnn smn( %nu frunzn df nfgunnf, cnrf dnntr-u snngur frunz crftf, n df!nnf u plnnt( Fr dnfncultn puntf fnfcnrf, cnrf !rfn, s !nd c n spntflf fn sf nfl u putfrf urdunnt. N fn df prfrfn, c tutul s-n ntmplnt dnn grffnl dnntr-u mntfrnf str!fchf, ndnc urdnnfn n rfnfnt dnn hnus, fstf ntt df nnsurd cn n prfrfn, cn nnsnpul dnn dffrt nr putfn s cunstrunnsc fr un pnc df n utur u pnrnmnd, dunr c n trfnunf sufncnfnt tnmp. )nnf n !zut s rfnfsf urdnnfn dnn hnus( *unr nn( N duun pnrtf n ncfstfn nrmf df drngustf fstf drngustfn pfntru nprunpflf. Fn nu sf dfusfnftf nprunpf dfluc df drngustfn pfntru *umnfzfu. Nn cum sf put n!nngf tuntf nspntflf mntfrnnlf, dfpfndfnflf n nfcfsntnnlf, nn puntf drngustfn pfntru nprunpflf s tf cucfrfnsc. %nu cum n putfn fu s snmt ur, dc l nunfsc pf cfl df lng mnnf( %nu cum n putfn s-n fnc rfpruurn( "untf sfntnmfntflf nfgntn!f sf cucfrfsc prnn drngustfn pfntru nprunpflf. Fn nu ntrfnn df cf, fn fstf pur n snmplu prfzfnt, pfntru fnfcnrf. )um n putfn fu, m ntrfnn tu, s-l nunfsc pf dumnnul mfu., cnrf !rfn s-mn fnc dunr ru( Fstf ct sf puntf df snmplu. Fl fstf tut ncfnnn, cf ftn n tu. Fl fstf u fnnn n lun *umnfzfu, crfnt prnn drngustf pfntru drngustf. *umnfzfu l nunftf pf fl ln ffl cn n pf tnnf. *rngustfn nu fncf dnffrfnf. )um nn putfn tu ntuncn, dnc nfnrmn, c l nunftn pf *umnfzfu, s-l urtn pf ncfln, pf cnrf *umnfzfu l nunftf ln ffl cn n pf tnnf( *nc nunftn pf cnnf!n cu ndf!rnt, ntuncn l nunftn cu tutul, cu tuntf dfffctflf snlf. *nc l nunftn ntr-ndf!r pf *umnfzfu, ntuncn trfnunf s-$ nunftn ntru tutul, nn, cum Fl n nunftf tuntf fnnnflf fr nncn u dfusfnnrf. )um pun tu ntuncn s urtn unn dnn ncfstf fnnnf( Ncfst lucru nu f,nst nncn mcnr n drngustfn lumfnsc. *nc un nrnnt n nunftf funrtf mult prnftfnul, ntuncn fstf cfl punn tulfrnt snu trntnt cu prnftfnnf df sunn ncflunn n ln *umnfzfu s fnf unrf nltffl( Nr trfnun s nf purtm cfl punn frumus cu nprunpflf nustru. Ncfstn fstf cfl mnn cfrt lucru df pf lumf. *nr nu dnspfrn. Fstf ntr-ndf!r cfl mnn grfu. Nun !um mnn !urnn dfsfurn df ncfst lucru. )hnnr n nstzn nm n!ut !unf mult tnmp s m plnmn nrn ln nrn cu Mnchnfl pfstf cmpnn frumus mnrusntunrf, n nm n!ut !unf s ndulmfc nfrul rcurus n prunspt. Frn tut ncfnnn lumnn, u mnnunnt n funrtf lumnnnt lumnn df nsfrnrf, cnrf ns nu nrtn nncn u umnr n !rfu pnrtf. %unrflf nu sf putfn !fdfn nncn undf. Fflurn nfmrgnnntf df flurn n df pumn nf ntmpnnnu. Fu pur n snmplu nu m put f,prnmn nltffl. Nnturn nu frn dunr prfzfnt, fn prfn s trnnsc mprfun cu nun, prfn s nnn lfgtur cu sfntnmfntflf nunstrf, n s nnflufnfzf stnrfn nunstr n n ncflnn tnmp cun!nnn df fn, dn, chnnr purtnn. Multf psrn cntnu n urul nustru, muln fluturn nf ncun urnu, nlnnnflf zumznnu, tutul n urul nustru frn plnn df !nn. )hnnr n nnnmnlflf nu frn dunr nn nculu. Flf prfnu s fnf u pnrtf dnn mnnf n frnu ntr-un ffl mnstfrnus cu mult mnn !nn, dfct fu lf-nm putut rfcfpnunn pf pmnt. Nncnundf nu sf snmfn nncn mcnr u urm df frnc snu df grn n. *unr drngustf. Fnfcnrf ddfn tutul cf n!fn n tutun tnn, c nnmfnn nu n lun nnmnc. Fu m rfgsfnm n ncflf psrn, n ncflf mnnunntf flurn, n cfl mnn mnc mflc. Fu tnnm cu cfrtntudnnf, fu frnm flf, n flf frnu fu, n tutun nu frnm unn n ncfnnn fnnn. Flf nu frnu nmngnnn nlf fnntfznfn# sf putfn s lf ntnngn, sf putfn !urnn cu flf, fr cn s trfnunnsc s !urnftn. "untf lfgturnlf gndurnlur uffrfnu u cumunncnnf, cnrf fstf nprunpf df nfdfscrns. Fu frnm cnpnnnl, s cuprnnd ntrfngn lur fnnn, tuntf sfntnmfntflf lur. Nu m putfnm dunr trnnsffrn n flf, fu putfnm s lf prnmfsc n mnnf ntru tutul. Frn - cn n cum drngustfn sf nunftf pf snnf. )ffn cf tu !fzn n trnftn nncn, nu nrf nnmnc cu cf s sf nsfmfnf pf pmnt. &f pmnt trfcf fnfcnrf plnnt, fnfcnrf nnnmnl, nn chnnr fnfcnrf pnntr prnn pruprnn sn dfz!ultnrf. Ncfstfn tuntf sunt scntfn df duh nlf lun *umnfzfu, cnrf sunt cundusf prnn nfsfrnt df multf stndnn nntfrmfdnnrf ln mnturntntf. *nc tu !rfn s tf cunfctfzn cu flf, ntuncn trfnunf tu s tf ncumudfzn cu stnrfn lur df uscnlnnf, cffn cf prfsupunf u nnlt mnturntntf duhu!nncfnsc. &fntru umul unnnunt nu fstf n cunsfcnn !nznnnl u cunf,nunf. Fflul df gndnrf mntfrnnlnst nu lns rflnnnlf s sf rfcununsc, cn trfnunf s !nd n ncfstfn n mud unlngnturnu furmf df !nn nutunumf n fsfnnnl dnffrntf fn df pfrsunnn pruprnf. Nu nn fstf n lumfn duhu!nncfnsc. Nncn fstf tutul n tnnf, cffn cf !fzn, tutul cf trnftn. &fntru c numnn cffn, cf fstf n tnnf, pun tu s n trnftn n s snmn. Fstf u pnrtf dnn tnnf n tu u pnrtf dnn ncfnstn. "ut cf fstf, sunt scntfn df !nn nlf lun *umnfzfu. Nn cum pncturn n mnrf df!nnf unn cu mnlnnrdflf df nltf pncturn, dnn f,tfrnur nf mnn fnnnd pusnnnl u dfusfnnrf, cu tuntf nstfn rfnnndu-n nutunumnn pf dfplnn, n fflul ncfstn sf !fdf u fnnn dfz!ultnt duhu!nncfsc nntfgrnt n ntrfngn crfnnf. Nn cum u pnctur, cnd fn nghfn, n pnfrdf unnrfn cu cflflnltf pncturn, dfnnrnsndu-sf df cflflnltf cn crnstnl pruprnu, nn n pnfrdf umul sfntnmfntul df n fn unn cu crfnnn, dnc fl nsun sf dfnnrnsfnz, cnd fl fugf df cldur n cnd rcfnln mntfrnfn l fncf prnzunnfr. *nc un suflft sf ustfnftf numnn pfntru cffn cf fstf mntfrnnl n nfgln fnz !nlurnlf duhu!nn!ftn, ntuncn trfnunf fl n nncn s sf mulumfnsc cu u mprf urnmf pustnf. )nnf lns drngustfn s sf ufnlfnsc, ncfln nu !n putfn nncn s nduc flurn ln n!fnl. "utul fstf drngustf. Nn df mult drngustfn ct tu nn dfz!ultnt n tnnf, ntt df mult drngustf pun tu s pruducn dnn tnnf n lumfn

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duhu!nncfnsc. )ffn cf nn !zut n nn trnt nstzn, n fust df-nnnn ncfputul. Nn cum tu nn unsfr!nt df n, stpnftf u lumnn df nsfrnrf cuntnnu. *f n ntr-ndf!r unn funrtf lumnnuns, dnr sunrflf nc nu sf puntf !fdfn. "u nncn nu l-nn putfn nc supurtn. 0n lumfn duhu!nncfnsc nnmnc nu sf rfnnf fr drfpt cn .pfdfnps/. "u prnmftn tuntf, pf cnrf lf pun supurtn. 0n .nnd/ nu sf nrunc unmfnnn. Ncfnstn fstf u stnrf, n cnrf tf nfln, pfntru c nu pun supurtn lumnnn. n dfsprf ncfst lucru !um !urnn nun nc dfs. *nc tu nn !fdfn sunrflf duhu!nncfsc n ncfnst prfzfnt stnrf df uscnlnnf n tn, tu nn nrdf cn un nfc, cnrf fstf nlnmfntnt dnntr-u surs df curfnt putfrnnc df 5;;;;; df !uln. Fl puntf numnn ntuncn fulusn curfntul, dnc ncfstn fstf trnnsfurmnt n us ln 44; df !uln. 0n ncflnn ffl trnnsfurm n us surflf-lun-7rnstus df fnfcnrf dnt lumnnn lun ln stnrfn df uscnlnnf, n cnrf tu tf nfln n ncfst fnpt nu sf ntmpl ntuncn, pfntru n-n nrtn, c tu mnn nn mult pn cf !fn fn mntur! %f ntmpl dnn drngustf fn df tnnf, pfntru c tu n-nn putfn supurtn mnn mult, fnnndc tu nn nrdf n ncfnstn. F,nst dunr ncfstf duu pusnnnltn. 'rn n trnnsfurm 7rnstus lumnnn $un n us ln nn!flul tu, snu tu n trnnsfurmn uscnlnnnlf tnlf n sus ln sunrflf-lun-7rnstus. )nlfn sprf ncfnstn u cunutn tu. "rnnsfurmnturul fstf drngustfn, drngustfn snngur. Fn prnmftf nflfpcnunfn pf grntns, n tnmp cf ntrfngn nflfpcnunf n pmntulun nu !n prnmn nncn mcnr u pnctur df drngustf, dnc fn nu u nducf snngur ln n!fnl. *umnfzfu pusfd tunt nflfpcnunfn. Fl nu nrf nf!unf df nflfpcnunfn tn. Fl n d cu drng cf!n df ln ncfnstn, ntt df mult ct pun tu supurtn. )ffn cf Fl !rfn n nrf nf!unf df ln tnnf, fstf drngustfn tn. *fschndfn uchnn tn n ndrgustftf-tf df Fl. 3 Fu n-nm dfschns n nm prn!nt n uchnn tntlun mfu. Ncum m-nm nmnntnt fu nnrn. Fl m lunsf tnndru n nrnflf snlf, n fu nm ndurmnt ffrncnt n ncfstfn. "ntl nu n spus nnmnc. Fl prn!fn numnn ln mnnf. )u prn!nrfn lun cnld, cunusctunrf m-n nfurnt, m-n lunt pf mnnf n snnf. $n fl nm fust fu prutf nt. $n fl n-nm mnn fust fu u nn!nlnd. Fu frnm un um, fu frnm fnncn lun, pf cnrf fl u nunfn. Fncf nn df nnnf, s fnn nunnt! *rngustfn n!nngf urncf durfrf, fncf tuntf grn nlf untntf. *f cf frn tntl numnn nn df rnr ncns, df cf numnn nu putfn fl s fnf mnn dfs ln mnnf( )um nr fn dnc m-nr nflfgf, dnc m-nr mnrnn mnn tnrf. Fu mn-nm dnt nstzn dfmnsnn. Mnmn nu mnn n!usf nfr dnn cnuzn spnnmfn. Nncn mcnr cnffnun fnfrnnntf prfn fn c nu u unsfr!, pf cnrf n !rsnt-u pf ruchnn fn. Fu nu mnn !rfnu s fnu nn df mult pf drum. Fu npnrnn nncn, df tnnf n mnn nlfs n df Nnrnnrn. Ncfnstn fstf ru!untur! *nc tu m-nn nunn chnnr numnn punn, n-nn fn fcut tu ncfnstn. "u nu !fn mnn gsn nncnudnt nnrn un luc df munc, undf ctngn ntnn nnnn. *nn cf s-mn pltfsc fu dfcn ncum hnnnflf mflf, mnnnn nuu, pf cnrf !runnm s-u cumprm n !nr( "rfnunf tu ntutdfnunn s strncn tutul( *f n df nn df mult tnmp mn-nn prumns tu un cu!ur, cn n sfrnt nnmfnn s nu mnn punt s-n nnt uc df .pudfnu nunstr df lfmn-df unmfnn-srncn/. *nn cf !rfn "u ncum s pltftn tuntf ncfstfn( )f !rfn s fncn "u ntr-ndf!r( Nn tu df n un nuu luc df munc( Nu! n nncn cffn cf !un fncf fu, nu tnu nc. Fu tnu numnn, c Nnrnnrn nrf nf!unf df mnnf, n ncfnstn mn n ungf. *nc n fn fcut fu tutun ntuncn un n!urt cu ncfst lucru nlfstfmnt. &rnn cf nm mfrntnt fu ncfnstn. "unt znun nm numnn df lucru n ntnnf df cnp cu fn, n ncum m rfspnngn tu nc n nnpun dnn cnuzn fn. ' *unmnf, df cf fstf lumfn numnn nn df nfdrfnpt! Fu ! ursc pf !un tun! Fn sf luptn cu lncrnmnlf, n cnd un czusf n nnl, trfnunn fu s m gndfsc ln cu!nntflf lun Mnchnfl- 'rn u pun snmn curpurnl. )n sgfn nscuntf s-n nfnpt ncfnstn ndnc n trupul mfu mnc n l-n cutrfmurnt. "ntn m-n strns prutfctur ln snnf. *n, fl df!fnnsf nfntncnnnl. *rngustfn lun l-n nfurnt prutf ndu-l pf fl cn u plntu. Fu tnnm c fl u !n lun pf mnmn, cnd fn sf !n fn lnnntnt, nnrn n nrnflf snlf n nu-n !n rfprun nncnudnt nnmnc, n-u !n mnn nmnntn cu nncn un cu!nt ln cffn cf sf ntmplnsf. Fu l ndmnrnm pf tntn. &utfn fl, unrf, s !nd df n sunrflf( "ntn frn muntur ln u fnrm mnrf, cnrf frn cu prfcdfrf nctn! n strnntntf. Fl frn dfsfurn pntru sptmnn snu nc mnn mult plfcnt n !fnfn ntuncn cfl mult pfntru ctf!n znlf ncns, pfntru n fn trnmns nnrn nmfdnnt cu u nuu nsrcnnnrf ntr-u nlt nr. Fl n trfnunt ntr-ndf!r s fn ctngnt ln ncfnstn funrtf muln nnnn. 0n urncf cnz fusfsf mnmn n ncfst tnmp funrtf mndr df fl. )u cf nr putfn fl ncum ntr-ndf!r s sf ucupf( )u sngurnn n-n dfmnsnunnt fl fr s sf gndfnsc. "utul cf fcfn tntn, frn chnnzunt nnnf. Fl nu ncnunn nncnudnt fmununnl. Fl n stpnfn sfntnmfntflf snlf. Nun trnnm ntr-u mnc guspudrnf, pf cnrf tntn u mutfnnsf df ln nunncu, ntr-un ctun cu nltf upt guspudrnn, dfpnrtf, ntr-u mprf urnmf sngurntnc, prsnt. Nfgln nt, unnnunn mnmn s spun. )fl mnn nprupnnt urn mnn mnrf cu cf!n ndustrnf sf nfln ln u dnstnn df 9; df =m. Nnnnntf cundusfsf tntn guspudrnn. $n ncfput n n mfrs funrtf nnnf, cu tuntf c mnmn nu n utn nncnudnt, pfntru c .muncn df mnzfrnf/ frn sun dfmnntntfn fn. Nun pusfdnm ntuncn 9 !ncn n > hn. df pmnt. "ntn !nsnsf ntutdnunn dup ncflf tnmpurn. Fl trfnunn ntrndf!r s fn fust ntuncn funrtf ffrncnt. Mnmn !runn df n dnntutdfnunn mnn mult. Fn !runn s punt trn nn cn rudflf fn dnn urnul mnrf. Nn hnnnf mudfrnf, ntr-u lucunn curnt, cu u mnnn nuu, n mnn nlfs- fnfcnrf nn s mfnrg n cuncfdnu. "ntn nu s-n lsnt nncnudnt nmprfsnunnt df ncfnstn. Nun nu suntfm nncn pf pmnt, n spusf fl mnmfn, pfntru n ctngn ct sf puntf df muln nnnn n s nf mpu!rm cu multf lucrurn mntfrnnlf. Nun suntfm nncn, pfntru n strngf ct sf puntf df multf f,pfrnfnf, pfntru

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cn s prugrfsm duhu!nncftf mnn dfpnrtf, pfntru n-n n utn pf nlnn, nu pfntru nnnn, cn df drngul lur nnn. Nun trfnunf s nf n!m n drngustf n rndnrf, n mnn nlfs trfnunf nun s rfcununtfm, c nnnnn n tuntf lucrurnlf mntfrnnlf sunt nfnmpurtnntf, nn chnnr duntunrf, ccn flf nf nnnt df pf cnlfn duhu!nncfnsc. %nngurul lucru, cf nf rmnf !fnnc, sunt rundflf duhu!nncftn. n ncfstfn sf mnturnzfnz n srcnf n smfrfnnf ndfsfn mnn nnnf dfct n nugnf n ngmfnrf. "ntn nncn n-nr fn cfdnt ntr-ndf!r nncnudnt, dnc n-nr fn ncfput ntuncn mnrfn !ntunrf df hntunnl mputrn!n tuturur mncnlur rnnn n fn!unrfn fnnrncnlur ngrnrf tut mnn mnrn. )tngurnlf sczusfr tut mnn mult, muncn rnnnlur n-n mnn n!ut nncn u !nlunrf. Mnnnn mnrn nu putfn tntn s-n pfrmnt, n n utur nnfsc prnmfn fl numnn ncfpnd df ln u nnumnt mrnmf. Fucnunnrnn rnftn n uffrnsfr, s fnnnfzf u crfscturnf df !nfn, un grn d pfntru cfl punn <; pn ln 1;; df nnnmnlf dutnt cu tuntf nmfnn rnlf mudfrnf, fnfcnrf !nfl snngur ntr-u nu, ngust, cn ncfstn s nu cunsumf prfn mult mncnrf prnn mncnrf. 2fsfntnmfntf n sfntnmfntnlntn nu nr ngdun pnnn. 'rn fl ln sf nlturn, snu fl sf lsn pgunn. "ntn s-n lsnt pgunn. &fntru fl frn fnfcnrf nnnmnl, chnnr fnfcnrf plnnt prfn sfnt, nn nct s fn putut ngdun, s mnltrntfzf nstffl un nnnmnl. Nu cum!n s ! gndnn, spusf fl, c nnnmnlflf snu n plnntflf nr fn dnn tfmflnf cf!n dnffrnt fn df um. Ncfstfn nn sf nsfnmn cu mult mnn mult, dfct !un crfdfn. Fnfcnrf nnnmnl, fnfcnrf plnnt nrf df n un suflft. Fnfcnrf fnnn fstf u crfntur n lun *umnfzfu, ndus ln n!fnl dnn drngustfn lun nfmrgnnnt. Fnfcnrf nnnmnl, fnfcnrf plnnt nrf sfntnmfntf, cnrf pnrnnl rfncnunfnz cu mult mnn sfnsnnnlf dfct cflf nlf nunstrf. )flf mnn multf nnnmnlf pusfd n nn cf!n cn un nl nptflfn snmn# cflur mnn muln unmfnn lf-n dnsprut dunr df mult ncfstn. Fnfcnrf rnn tnf, cum nnnmnlflf sf mputrn!fsc nnstnnctn!, cnd ncfstfn mfrg n dnrfcnn cnsfn df sncrnfncnrf, cu tuntf c flf n-nu fust nc nncnudnt cunfruntntf cu ncfnstn. Fncfn-! stpnn nsuprn pmntulun, n spus *umnfzfu. Nu- dumnnn cn tnrnnn pfstf pmnt, ncunnn nnnmnlflf, chnnunn-lf, ucndfnlf, n nucurnn-! ln ncfnstn. Nnnmnlflf sunt mncnn nutrn frnn n mnrfn fnmnlnf n lun *umnfzfu. Nun nr trfnun s n!fm gr df flf, s lf ndrumm n s lf cunducfm. &rnn fflul nustru fgunst, nrutnl n nfumfnfsc, s chnnun nnnmnlflf dnn mutn!f curnt mntfrnnlf cn cfl mnn ru ntfmnntur, nf prncnnunm nuu nnnf cfl mnn mult ru. &f df-u pnrtf dnrfct prnn cunsumnrfn crnnn, cnrf pusfd nfnumrntf sunstnnf utr!ntunrf n mfdncnmfntf. *f-nnnn hurmunnn, nntnnnutncflf n nnnnulflf stfrundf fnc dunr pusnnnlf ncfstf mftudf pfr!frsf df ngrnrf. Nprunpf tuntf sf dfpun n cnrnf n sunt df n nstzn rfspunsnnnlf pfntru funrtf multf mnuln!nrn n dfrnn rn nlf mftnnulnsmflur. Nl dunlfn punct cntrftf nc mnn dffn!urnnnl. ) nnnmnlflf put gndn, n fust df n df mult du!fdnt df nnulugnf. Ncfnstn fstf u gndnrf prnmntn!, nnstnnctn!, dnr ncfstfn sunt uscnlnnn nlf gndurnlur, cnrf, n prnncnpnu, nu sf dfusfnfsc prnn nnmnc df cflf nlf nunstrf. "utul cf fstf, fstf fnfrgnf, tut un gnd n ncfst lucru l-n du!fdnt fnzncn df n df mult tnmp. "ut nn cn n fnptul, c fnfrgnn nu puntf fn nncnudnt dnstrus. Fn puntf ntr-ndf!r s fnf trnnsfurmnt n nltf furmf df fnfrgnf, dnr nu puntf nncnudnt s fnf dnstrus. )f gndfsc nndnr nnnmnlflf, cnrf sunt chnnuntf ntr-un nsfmfnfn hnl( Ncfstfn sunt gndurn df frnc, tfnm, chnn, pnrnnl ntr-ndf!r n nsfmntunrf cu urn nunstr, n gfnfrnl dfcn fnfrgnf nfgntn!. Ncfnst fnfrgnf nu sf puntf f!npurn. Fn nf mpu!rfnz cn u snnnf n lun *nmuclf. *fsngur, fn nu puntf fn msurnt n cntrnt, n nncn nu fstf !nznnnl. *nr nncn rndnunctn!ntntfn nu fstf !nznnnl, n tutun nrf fn fffctf df!nstntunrf! Ncfnst fnfrgnf nfgntn! nf prncnnunftf nuu tuturur pngun. Fn curfspundf cu rndnunctn!ntntfn n sffrn duhu!nncfnsc. )ffn cf rndnunctn!ntntfn prncnnunftf curpulun, ncfst lucru l prncnnunftf duhulun ncfnst fnfrgnf nfgntn!. Nnmfnn nu puntf spunf, ncfnstn n-nm tnut-u, ncfst lucru nu l-nm !rut! Nun tun suntfm dfnsfmfnfn !nnu!nn ln ncfnst stnrf. *rngustf curnt nu ncftfnz f,nct n fnn fpturnlur cflur mnn nfputnncnunsf, fn lf nncludf pf ncfstfn n prnmul rnd. )nd tntn n f,prnmnt ncfstf gndurn n ndunnrfn cnrcumscrnpnfn rnnnlur, l-nu rupt fn df-n drfptul. Numnn punnn prnftfnn nu nnut cu fl, unnn nu df!fnnt ngndurnn, mnrfn mn urntntf l-n numnt un ndnut !nstur, fr nncn un snm nl rfnlntnn. %nu cf nltcf!n sf puntf crfdf dfsprf un rnn !fgftnrnnn, cnrf rfspnngf cunsumul df cnrnf n dnn mutn!f df sntntf n dnn mutn!f ftncf( 0n nnzn ncfstfn cu!ntrn, cnrf n pru!ucnt cf!n sfnznnf n n prfs, n fust fl ntuncn f,clus dnn nsucnnnn rnnnlur pf mutn! df cumpurtnmfnt duntur pfntru nsucnnnf. *f-nnnn mult mnn trznu nm nflnt fu ncfnst ntmplnrf df ln Mnchnfl. "ntl tu, spusf fl, fstf unul dnntrf cfn muln sfnnn, cnrf rmn nfcunuscun, cnrf lucrfnz n lucrurn mncn n nscunsf. )ffn cf fl n rfcunuscut cn fnnnd drfpt, ncfnstn n n susnnut-u, fr n nrusn un gnd pfntru snnf. Fl n ntmpnn pf tun cu drngustf, n n ut pf tun, nu rnftf pf nnmfnn, fr s cfdfzf !rfudnt, dnc cnnf!n ndur strnccnunf snu dnc lfgfn dumnfzfnnsc fstf nfrfspfctnt. Fl fstf unul dnntrf ncfnn, cnrf ntrfsc nnnflf n lumf n l spurfsc. 'nmfnn cnrf !ur s nnuntnfnsc lumfn n-nu rfunt nncnudnt s ntnng !rfun scup. )u!ntrn mnrn n durnnn f!ln!nuns, ncfnn df sus s fnc n sfrnt cf!n, n-nu n utnt nc nnmnun cu nnmnc. Fnfcnrf puntf s mnuntfnsc lumfn, nnumf nculu, undf fl trnftf. $umfn, ncfnstn fstf mprf urnmfn tn, unmfnnn, ncftnn sunt nprunpflf tu. Nu-n crntncn, nu-n cundnmnn! %chnmn-tf numnn tu nsun, n cfnlnln sf schnmn nutumntnc mprfun cu tnnf. Fn rfncnunfnz ln uscnlnnnlf tnlf. *up ur urmfnz nrnrfurn drngustfn. *nr fn df drngustf nu puntf nnmfnn pf durnt lung s rfncnunfzf cu ur. &f lng f,fmplul tu mnc nu puntf nnmfnn pf lung durnt s trfnc, fr s fnf mulnpsnt . Nu fstf pusnnnl, s nsculn un cuncfrt df urg n n ncflnn tnmp s flunfrn u dunn. Nu fstf pusnnnl, s tf unn ln u lumnnrf n s !fzn ntunfrnc, nncn mcnr cu uchnn nchnn. *nr lumnnrfn trfnunf s nrd, tu trfnunf s-u nprnnzn. )fn mnn muln !urnfsc ntutdfnunn numnn dfsprf fnptul, c cnnf!n nr trfnun s-u nprnnd. Fstf dfnsfmfnfn mult mnn plnn df sfns, s nprnnzn u lumnnrf, dfct s !urnftn dfsprf ncfst lucru, c n ncfst ntunfrnc nr trfnun cfl punn duuzfcn s fnf nprnnsf. $umfn fstf cn un uc df dumnnu. %f nfl u sut df pnftrf ntr-un rnd unn n spntflf cflfnlnltf. )fn cnrf !ur s mnuntfnsc

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lumfn ncfnrc ncum, s lf rstunrnf pf tuntf ncfstfn n ncflnn tnmp, n pfntru c ncfst lucru nu fstf pusnnnl, fufnz fn snu sf rfsfmnfnz. $n ncfnstn fstf ns tutun nn df snmplu. "u trfnunf s rsturnn dunr ncfn pnntr, cnrf sf nfl lng tnnf, n rfncnn n lnn cnrf urmfnz ntuncn lf rstunrn pf tuntf cflflnltf fr nntfr!fnnn tn n cuntnnunrf. ' ln!nn ncfpf ntutdfnunn n prupurnn mncn, ntr-un punct. Fn nu sf ntfn nncnudnt mnrf n tutun n!fn dfsurn un fffct nnmncntur. "ntl tu n-n ntfptnt ncfnst ln!nn pf cnrf cnnf!n .df sus/ s-u dfzlnunf u dnt. Fl n dfclnnnt mnn multf ln!nnf mnnusculf. *nc flf !ur df!fnn ln!nnf mnrn, ncfst lucru dfpnndf df mnn multf mprf urrn. Ncfst lucru nu st ln ndfmnn !unstr, pfntru ncfnstn !un nu suntfn rfspunsnnnln. *nr trfnunf tutun s-u dfclnnnn! $umfn nu n fust crfnt dunr ntr-u snngur zn. )rfdfn !un, c ntr-u snngur zn n putfn schnmnn chnpul cu tutul( )fn mnn muln rfnun dup u scurt !rfmf, ntuncn cnd fn nu zrfsc nncn un succfs. Fn sf gndfsc dunr ln snnf. *f cf nu dfclnnfnz pur n snmplu u ln!nn, cnrf n n ungf dnn urm pf cupnnn lur snu chnnr n pf nfpunn lur( 0n dumfnnul mntfrnnl sf gndfsc muln df n ln znun df punmnnf. )upnnn nncn nnnf nu sunt nc nscun, n mutfnnrfn fstf df n prugrnmnt pn n cfl mnn mnc dftnlnu. *nr n spnrnt, trfnunf cn tutul s sf ntmplf pf luc, ccn, nltffl, nf pnfrf curn ul, dfunrfcf .nu putfm n nn s schnmnm cf!n/. Nn-l cn f,fmplu pf tntl tu. Fl n dfclnnnt multf, cu tuntf c fl nu tnf ncfst fnpt. Fl nu n fcut nncnudnt cf!n dnn cnuzn succfsulun. Fl n ncnunnt, nn cum n trfnunt s ncnunfzf. "ntn n !ndut pf ncfn !rfmf !ncnlf unun prnftfn, undf tnn c lf !n mfrgf nnnf, n-n nrfndnt pf lng ncfnstn n pmntul n n nccfptnt slu nn cn muntur n ncum n dfmnsnunnt. *nc nu n fn fust mut, nu n fn putut s stpnfsc un npt df nucurnf. Nmngnnfn, c tntn !n fn mnn dfs nlturn df mnnf, frn mult prfn frumuns. )u snngurnn c Mnchnfl n nrnn nt ncfnstn, dfunrfcf fu l-nm rugnt df multf urn. *rngul mfu Mnchnfl, fu n mulumfsc, c prnmfsc nn df mult n utur. "ntn m-n mnn strns nc u dnt cu trnf n nrnflf snlf, m-n srutnt n n-n lunt rmns nun. &fntru ultnmn unr n trfnunt s plfcf fl pfntru u pfrnund df nsf sptmnn, n ntuncn( *n, cf sf !n ntmpln ntuncn( Frnu nsf sptmnn durf pfntru mnnf. Fu ncfrcnm, ct df nnnf putfnm, dnr un succfs nu sf putfn zrn. Mnmn mfn frn cu mult mnn tnrf suprnt n rfzfr!nt fn df mnnf. Fu u prn!fnm ct putfnm fu df nunntur, fu n durfnm n gnd dunr drngustf, fu supurtnm tuntf durfrnlf cu rndnrf, dnr ncfnstn nu n n utnt ln nnmnc. Fn m-n lsnt pur n snmplu ntr-u pnrtf. Mncnrfn mn-u nducfn nfrfgulnt n mputrn!n !unnfn fn. )f nu n fn dnt cn s fnu punn mnn nndfpfndfnt! % put mncn snngur snu s put mfrgf cfl punn ln tunlft. *nr fu ncfrcnm, s nu m cfrt cu sunrtn, fu ncfrcnm dnn rsputfrn, s nu furmfz gndurn nfgntn!f. Ntuncn cnd fn n urn, dfunrfcf mnm udnt, ncfrcnm cn s-u nflfg, ncfrcnm s mn cfr u nfrtnrf mut, c fu n-nm dnt dnn nuu ntt df lucru. Fu ncfrcnm, s-n mulumfsc pfntru tut cf fcfn fn. Nu n fust uur, dnr cu tnmpul n mfrs mnn nnnf, n n !rfmf nm n!nt chnnr, s supurt durfrnlf, fr s m plng, fr s fnc rfpruurn, ntuncn cnd fn m npucn fr nlndff. "ut tnmpul l n!fnm pf tntn n fnn uchnnlur mfn n tnnm, c fu trfnunn s rfufsc. Fu frnm ffrm dfcns, s ndnug pnrtfn mfn, s dfclnnfz mncn mfn ln!nn, dnr frnm tut tnmpul dnn nuu dfznmgnt, c fn nu sf furmn sprf n df!fnn u ln!nn mnrf cn s sf rstugulfnsc n !nlf n s nnmncfnsc tutul cf-n sttfn n cnlf. *nn cuntr, nu sf ntmpln nnmnc, nnsulut nnmnc! Nncn frnnn mfn nu mn fcfnu !nnn mnn uunr. Fn nu sf ngrn fnu df mnnf, n ntuncn cnd trfnunnu s-u fc, u fcfnu cuntrn !unnfn lur. n ncfst lucru m fcfnu s-l snmt. Fstf nfmrgnnnt df umnlntur, s nu tf pun mncn nprunpf dfluc n s fn n nnt ucurnt pfntru ncfnstn. &fntru urfchnnlf sntunsf nr sunn cn u glum, ntuncn cnd fn m lsnu n crucnurul mfu df cupnn ln mnrgnnfn tfrfnulun df futnnl, n utnu cu mnngfn pf lng mnnf n strngnu- "u ftn purtnrul, nn grn cn nu cum!n s rntfzn! Fu ns nu nm snmnt nncnudnt ncfst lucru cn fnnnd durfrus. )hnnr dnc rfufnm ncum, s nu mnn fnu suprnt pf fn, n ndncul suflftulun durfn tutun dfstul df tnrf. Multf nstffl df ncnnf n trfnunt s ndur. Ntuncn cnd frnnn mfn mprfun cu cnmnrnznn lur df unc nu unsfr!nt c mn frn scrn df nruntf, sf dnstrnu df mnnunf, s lf prnnd n s mn lf nruncf n punl. Nm fust lsnt n crucnur pfntru n n!fn dfstul !ntfz pf dfnl n us, c nprunpf mn nturcfn stumncul pf dus snu m punfnu ntr-un cul, ntuncn cnd nu putfnm fn fulusnt. 'rn frnm nfr pfntru fn, frn !unf, fr cn fn s fnf pfdfpsnn, s nu m nngf n sfnm - s urlu snu s fug dup fn nu putfnm - , snu fu frnm prn!nt cn u ucrnf. Nmnflf lucrurn sunt dfstul df umnlntunrf. Fr Mnchnfl, fr cununtfrfn, cnrf fl mn-u drunn, m-n fn upus cu sngurnn n suprnrfn, furnn n trnstffn m-nr fn rupt n nntfrnur. *nr mnn ru m lu!fn cumptnmnrfn unmfnnlur mnn ntrnn. +nn *umnfzfulf, ct df srnc fstf! F,nst, unrf, ntr-ndf!r, s fnf nn df mnc n nn df dffurmnt( Fstf fn, unrf, hnndncnpnt mnntnl( %nu puntf s gndfnsc punn( Frn grfu df supurtnt, s fnu ucrnn frnnnlur mfn. $n fn mnn nsfmnnm cfl punn cf!n. N!fm u !nlunrf unrfcnrf. *nr nn( %ngur, ncftn unmfnn nu u spunfnu dnn rutntf. *nr fn mn lnpfnu prnn ncfnst tnmpnl n nncumpftfnfn nnsulutf. Ncfnst mnl dnstrugfn tuntf !nlurnlf, tf punfn pf cfn mnn uns scnr n f,nstfnfn umfnftn, nfngnt n sfnm, nfnunnt, nu ftn lunt n sfrnus, dunr tulfrnt. n ct df dfs fstf fnls ncfnst mnl, dunr u mnsc n spnnmfn, c n puntf lu!n chnnr pf fn, c fn !ur trfnun ln rndul lur s sf dfscurcf cu un cupnl hnndncnpnt, cu tunt muncn ncffn, cu tuntf suffrnnflf n mnn nlfs- cf !ur spunf cfnlnln( )t df dfs sf nudf dnn ncfn mnl uurnrfn, c nu fust scutnn df ncfnstn! n trnstffn, cnrf u f,prnm, fstf dfsfurn ngruzntunrf- ncfst lucru mn s-nr fn putut ntmpln n mnf! *nc nu prfn nn cf fncf cu !ucfn, cu urfchnnlf n cu mnnnlf, rmnf dunr pusnnnlntntfn, s culfzn snmurnlf. )fn mnn muln unmfnn, n spus udnt Mnchnfl, nu tnu nncn mcnr c f,nst ncfst snm, ncfl snm pfntru !nnrnnnlf unmfnnlur dnn urul nustru. "untf gndurnlf n sfntnmfntflf sunt !nnrnnn. Ntuncn cnd un gnd fstf

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gndnt, nf prsftf fl n furmn unfn mncn cnntntn df fnfrgnf, cnrf sf mprtnf cn lumnnn n tuntf prnlf. )urpul nu pusfd un urgnn pfntru n putfn rfcfpnunn ncfstf !nnrnnn. *nr spnrntul nustru puntf! )nnf ncfnrc, s mprfunfzf spnrntul mprfun cu curpul, !n rfcfpnunn nmfdnnt ncfstf !nnrnnn n lf !n nflfgf curfct. )upnnn mncn pusfd n cflf mnn multf cnzurn ncfst snm. %nu cum sf puntf f,plncn nltffl, c unnn cupnn ln nnumnn nduln, pf cnrf nu n-nu !zut nncnudnt, ncfp dfudnt s urlf n chnnr n cu mult rndnrf nu n mnn pun lnnntn, n tnmp cf cu nlnn, tut ntt df strnnn, sunt ntr-ndf!r ncrfzturn( *n, muln cupnn nc mnn pusfd ncfst snm. *nr n luc s fnf ntfnn ndulnn ln ncfstn, df!nn mn urntntfn ndulnlur suprnn- "u cupnl prust, cf s-n ntmplnt cu tnnf! )upnlul unsfnr! n scurt tnmp, c ncfnst rfncnf nu fstf durnt n cu tnmpul u unt. %nngurul lucru, cf rmnf n urm ln mnrfn mn urntntf, fstf sfntnmfnul snmpntnfn snu nntnpntnfn, cu tuntf c snmpntnn nu fstf nnmnc nltcf!n, dfct c !nnrnnnlf cflunlnlt sunt pf ncffnn und df !nlurn, n tnmp cf nntnpntnn nsfnmn dnffrfnn n ncflfn frfc!fnf df !nnrnnn. &rnn ncfn snngurtntf, n cnrf fu nm crfscut, nm putut s dfz!ult ncfst snm dnn cf n cf mnn mult. Nnmfnn nu n ncfrcnt s mn spun cf!n n ncfnst prn!nn, dfunrfcf nnmfnn nu tnn. n df ln Mnchnfl nm prnmnt n uturul cu!fnnt. &f mnnf df mult !rfmf nu m mnn puntf mnnn nnmfnn. %f puntf snmn nmfdnnt, dnc cu!nntflf ncupfr !nnrnnnlf gndurnlur snu nu. n ct df dfs nu curfspund! )t df dfs sf nscundf n spntflf cu!nntflur rustntf rfpfdf .srncul um/ dunr spfrnnn, s nu n ung chnnr fn n ncfnst sntunnf! n ct df dfs sf spunf dunr nn fr nncn mcnr punn df cumpnsnunf! )t df dfs fstf scuzn- Fu nu nm putut, pfntru c n sfnsul ndf!rntFu nu nm !rut. n ct df dfs ln nfnrmnnn- )upnlul n punrt cu stuncnsm durfrfn, nm fust mpnns sprf cfn mnn uns trfnpt lumfnsc, ndnc, u !nn df nftrnt, cnrf fstf dunr tulfrnt! )f nrf df-n fncf cu curpul, sunt n fu df ncurd. *unr - fstf curpul !nnn mfn( %unt fu curpul mfu( %pnrntul mfu nu sf lsn nflnt df dnscursurnlf crfdnncnunsf nlf cflurlnln. Fl frn n stnrf s fnc dnffrfnn ntrf mnsc n chnp. Fu nu trfnunn s crfd cffn, cf mn sf spunfn, fu putfnm s !frnfnc dnc fstf ndf!rnt. Nu fstf ncfst lucru mnn nmpurtnnt( )f fstf !nnn( )unst dunr dnn n ucn futnnl n df n fncf cuprturn( Fu mn-nm rspuns df n df mult !rfmf ln ncfnst ntrfnnrf. %nngurnn, dnn !nnn mfn, cnrf m-nu nccfptnt nn cum sunt, ncfnstn n fust surn Nfnfdnctn dnn clnnnc, frn tntl mfu, n nnnfnflfs Mnchnfl. &fntru surn Nfnfdnctn nm fust un cupnl cn urncnrf nltul. Fu frnm nulnn! n frn df nflfs, c fn m n utn. Fu frnm un .nulnn! nurmnl/, nncn mnn mult nncn mnn punn. &fntru tntn frnm fnncn pf cnrf fl u nunfn. )u sngurnn c nu mn nunfn curpul, fl frn dfsfurn trnst dnn cnuzn lun. Fl nunfn umul, cnrf frn n ncfl trup, ncfl um, cnrf *umnfzfu l-n crfnt cn n pf fl n prnn ncfnstn n!fn tut ncffnn !nlunrf cn n fl. &fntru Mnchnfl frnm un prnftfn. 'n prnftfn, pf cnrf trfnunn s-l ghndfzf, pf cnrf trfnunn s-l nntruduc n sfcrftflf !nfnn, pur n snmplu surn sn mnn tnr, pf cnrf u nccfptn cu tuntf grfflnlf n slnncnunnlf, n fl ncfrcn dnn rsputfrn s m rndncf, cu ghndnrfn sn, lng fl, pf trfnpt. *ur, dnr tutun nunntur. Fu frnm .nurmnl/ cn urncnrf nltul. Nnmnc mnn mult snu mnn punn. n fu !runnm dunr s fnu- .nurmnl/, un um, nnmnc mnn mult snu mnn punn. Ntuncn cnd l-nm rugnt pf Mnchnfl s-mn dfn u mn df n utur, n pus fl dunr u snngur ntrfnnrf- )um !rfn s n!fn, cn s fnn umnl, fr s nu fn fust nncnudnt umnlnt( )rfzn tu, c un rfgf nr putfn n!n !rfudnt cn s fnf umnl - snu un n!nngtur(@Nu, cu sngurnn, nu. Fnn mulumnt cu cfn, cnrf tf umnlfsc, ccn fn n dnu ncfnst nns. Nncnundf nu fstf scrns- Mndrul n n!nngturul !ur mutfnn mprnn cfrurnlur. *unr n umnlnn sf puntf *umnfzfu nfln. 'mnlnnn fstf nsunturul pfrmnnfnt nl drngustfn, n !n dfschndf punrtn sprf cfr, n !n crun drumul sprf *umnfzfu. 'mnlnnn nu fstf fflul frncus df gndnrf n unur spnrntf srncf, nn cum crfd unnn. 'mnlnnn nu nsfnmn, s nccfpn tutul, pfntru c nu tf pun mputrn!n. 'mnlnnn nu fstf nnmnc pnsn!. % tf prfdnn, ncfnstn fstf rfsfmnnrf, nu fstf umnlnn. Ndf!rntn umnlnn, cfrf u !unn nctn!, cfrf curn , curn ul, s n dnn nf mnn punn nmpurtnn dfct nltunn. Nu fstf umnlnn ntuncn, cnd ncfrcn s tf n usftn n f,tfrnur n s gndftn n nntfrnur- *f fnpt sunt n nn mnn nnlt dfct ncfstn, cf um supfrn sunt, c nm rfunt, s m n usfsc ncfstun prustu!nn# pfntru ncfst gfst !n n!fn *umnfzfu cu sngurnn nucurnn %n mnrf! 'mnlnnn ndf!rnt nu punrt nncn u mnsc, fn nu fstf nncn un uc. Nu fstf umnl, s tf nruncn n fnn lun *umnfzfu n nnsnp, dunr pfntru c n-f frnc n sfcrft, c Fl nr putfn s tf nruncf n .nnd/. Ndf!rntn umnlnn fstf cfn sun cunducfrfn drngustfn pfntru *umnfzfu, n nu dnn cnuzn frncnn. n n mn lucul sfmfnnlur nu fstf ndf!rntn umnlnn, cn nu cum!n s fncn !rfu grffnl, cn dnn cun!nngfrfn, c fnfcnrf dnntrf nun fstf u fnnn n lun *umnfzfu, n nu nf fstf pfrmns crntncn. *unr *umnfzfu puntf s fn,fzf !nlunrfn fnfcrunn, n Fl nr putfn dfsfurn s dfpfnsc unntnlf nunstrf. "u nn tuntf mutn!flf, cn s fn mulumnt df mprf urrnlf tnlf. "f-nu n!nt funrtf multf lucrurn. "u nn fust ns n un flf! snlntur n unflf lucrurn lf-nn nncurnt nn df tnrf n tnnf, c nu tf mnn cust nncn un ffurt. Fu !rfnu ncum s-n dnu u mnc lfcnf, cnrf tf !n cunducf ntrfngn tn !nn n tf !n nducf ln stngnul suprfm. Fstf cfl mnn grfu lucru, fstf curunnn umnlnnfn, fstf sntunnn spnrntunl, cnrf n scurt tnmp nr schnmnn pmntul ntr-un pnrndns ndf!rnt)frfn nfrtnrf, c tu ftn mutn!ul suprrnn snu fnfr!rnn lur, chnnr dnc prn!nnd dnn punctul umfnfsc nn tutun drfptntf. Ntuncn cnd unul tf nntf, ntuncn cfrfn nfrtnrf, c tu nn fust mutn!ul, pfntru cnrf fl s-n suprnt. Ntuncn cnd cnnf!n tf nnt ucurftf dnn cnuzn nspfctulun tu, ntuncn cfrfn nfrtnrf pfntru nfnnrfn tn. n dnc unul fstf dfrnn nt df prfzfnn tn, ntuncn cfrfn nfrtnrf pfntru curpul tu. "u crfzn c fu nm nfnunnt( Nu! Fu !urnfsc funrtf sfrnus. 0ncfnrc s nflfgn tu ncfnstn nn. Nn cn f,fmplu un flf!. 0n!turul su l cfnrt funrtf sf!fr, dnn cnuzn nutflur snlf prunstf. Flf!ul spunf tut fflul df scuzf pfntru nfrtnrfn sn, nnr n!turul df!nnf n mnn suprnt. )f crfzn tu c s-nr fn ntmplnt, dnc flf!ul nr fn rspuns-

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*n, fu tnu, mn pnrf ru, c m-nm cumpurtnt ntt df prust. 0n!turul nr fn df!fnnt nmfdnnt mnn prnftfnus n l-nr fn cunsulnt. Ncfst lucru fstf !nlnnnl n urncnrf sntunnf. Gndftf-tf ln un pulnnst, cnrf fstf mustrnt df supfrnurul su, pfntru c ncfstunn n-n scpnt un nnfrnctur. %cuzf gfnfrnlf cn- n fust prfn ntunfrnc, mnnnn nu n purnnt rfpfdf, culfgul mfu m-n mpnfdncnt, nu df unncfn fffctul cuntrnrnu. )um nr rfncnunn unrf un ff ln rspunsul snncfr- Nmn pnrf ru, mn-n fust pur n snmplu frnc, n df ncffn nm dnt grf! %nu ntuncn cnd sf fnfr!fnz fful, c sfcrftnrn lun n nducf nctflf n ultnmn zn df rgnz, pf cnrf fl n dfcns-u( Nnnfnflfs, fn puntf spunf- )f !rfn, fu nm n!ut tnmp pn nstzn. )u ncfnst nfnrmnnf nr n!fn drfptntf. *nr fn puntf fn umnl n s spun- 0mn pnrf ru, fu nm lucrnt funrtf ncft, fstf !nnn mfn, ! rug frumus s m nfrtnn. )nnf !n putfn rmnf nncn dur( Fn n-n dnt lun cu ncfnstn pusnnnlntntfn, s fnf nnnmus, s spun- &n dn, nu fstf tutun chnnr nn df ru. *umnfn!unstr nu trfnunf ntr-ndf!r s ! fncfn rfpruurn. Mnnn s-n spulnfrnt, n lucul fn pftf sfntnmfntul, c nn nlnntnt pf cnnf!n, c nn n utnt pf cnnf!n. 'mnlnnn snu smfrfnnn fstf nrudnt cu drngustfn. Fn nu-l rnftf pf cfllnlt nncnudnt, fn nu susnnf nncnudnt ffrm drfptul fn, fn prfnn !nnn ln snnf n n crfnz prnn ncfnstn cflunlnlt pusnnnlntntfn, s-n rftrng mnnn lun, rfpruurnlf lun n s lf nlucunnsc cu sfntnmfntf puzntn!f nlf nflfgfrnn, nfrtrnn, nn chnnr nlf nunnrnn. *funrfcf, ncum, stnrfn df spnrnt gfnfrnl df pf plnnftn pmnt dfpnndf df frfc!fnn strnn df spnrnt gfnfrnlf n sfntnmfntflur n n gndurnlur, pun n tu cu ncfnstn s unnn u mnuntnrf n sntunnfn gfnfrnlf, tu nn mnuntnt fffctn! lumfn. Mnn mult nu pun tu fncf. n ncfnstn df nncn fstf dfstul df grfu. Fu crfd c tf-nm nflfs ncum. *nr dfunrfcf tnnm fu, c mn-nr fn nfsfrnt df grfu, s m umnlfsc nstffl, nm ncfrcnt fu s nrunc ultnmul mfu ntu n uc*nr fu sunt tutun mut! "cut mn-n zmnnt fl, pf umtntf mnlus, pf umtntf cu rfpruurn. 0nc nu tnn tu, c, cumunncnrfn nu funcnunfnz numnn prnn !ucf( "u pun s f,prnmn ntr-un mud spnrntunl mult mnn rfpfdf, mult mnn prfcns, cffn cf fstf prfrfn tn. "u trfnunn tutun numnn s gndftn. *nc tu l rugn snncfr n duh pf frntflf tu s tf nfrtf, fstf ncfnstn ncflnn lucru, cn n cum tu l-nn fn rugnt ntr-ndf!r pfntru ncfst lucru. *uhul lun fstf ntutdfnunn n stnrf, s prfnn uscnlnnn tn n s nccfptf scuzn tn. Fr s-n fnf cuntnfnt ncfst prucfdfu, sf schnmn nstffl ncft sfntnmfntflf snlf. n dup un tnmp fstf s!rnt cfrfrfn df nfrtnrf, fr sn fnf lun cunuscut ncfst mfcnnnsm. Ncfnstn funcnunfnz ntutdfnunn! Numnn ctfudnt nu nfnprnt n ncfl tnmp, pf cnrf nn l-nm prupus pfntru ncfst lucru. )u sngurnn ns n ncfl rstnmp, cnrf fstf putrn!nt pfntru ncfnstn. Fstf ns u dnffrfn ntrf duh n cu!nt- duhul trfnunf s fnf cnnstnt! %unt tutun gndurnlf, cnrf sf trnnsmnt# df ncffn nncn nu fstf pusnnnl s gndftn, c ncum fnc pur n snmplu nn df pnrc. Ncfst lucru nu funcnunfnz nncnudnt! *f cu!nntf dnmputrn! sf lns ln ncfput nc muln nmgnn# dnr pf durnt lung nu mfrgf nncn ncfst lucru. Nnrn fusfsfrm mult tnmp mprfun. Fu putfnm s-l nscult pf Mnchnfl urf n nr. $n fl nu m plnctnsfnm nncnudnt. Fu nu tnu, cf nm sn!urnt mnn mult, prfzfnn lun snu mprf urnmfn, pfnsn ul, n cnrf nf nflnm nun df fnfcnrf dnt. )nd fl df!fnfn tcut, m lun df mn n nun cutrfnfrnm ncft punfnflf nnnf-mnrusntunrf, m cuprnndfn cu tnmpul tutdfnunn frncn, c trfnunn ncun nnrn s m trfzfsc, s scnp df !ns. 'h dnc n putfn fu tutun s rmn numnn nncn pfntru tutdfnunn! Ncfst lucru nu frn pusnnnl. Fu tnnm nnnf nstn. 3 Fu n-nm fust surprnns, cnd l-nm !zut dfudnt pf tntn. Fl frn nnrn nncn, cflf nsf sptmnn trfcusfr. Ncfstfn nu fust sptmnn lungn. 0n nrnflf snlf nm fust fu nnrn cnnf!n, nu trfnunn s m runnfz. 0n nrnflf snlf s-n trnnsfurmnt rucn urt. Fu trfnunn s m gndfsc ln prnmn mfn pnfs df tfntru, pf cnrf nm putut s-u !d. Fu nm n!ut prn!nlfgnul, s fd n prnmul rnd nprunpf snngur. &fntru c cnnf !runn tutun s sf nfzf lng u hnndncnpnt! "ntn frn tutdfnunn funrtf trnst dnn prncnnn ncfstun lucru. &f fl l durfnu dfznprunrnlf n lu!nturnlf n cunst cuntnnuf, prudfntn mfrgfrf-ln-dnstnn, frncunsn rftrngfrf-nnpun mult mnn tnrf dfct pf mnnf. Fl suffrfn ntr-ndf!r pfntru mnnf. Fl frn n stnrf, s snmt pfntru mnnf n cu mnnf. Fl m nunfn. &u!fstfn cnrf s-n pus n scfn, sf numfn- 2ucn urt. Frn !urnn dfsprf u ruc, cnrf frn cu tutul nltffl fn df cflflnltf n frn tut tnmpul nt ucurnt dnn cnuzn nfnrnn snlf, tucmnn rucn urt. &n cf fn n prsnt ntr-u zn curtfn df rutf dnn cnuzn n nttn mhnnrf n n nlfs un lnc mnrf sprf n-n fn nuun pntrnf, undf fn spfrn, s punt trn nfrfcunuscut n pncf. *nr n lncul ncfln frnu n lfndf, n dfudnt n !zut fn n nmngnnfn sn uglnndnt n np u lfnd mnnunnt df frumuns. 'ltnmn prupuznnf, pf cnrf n rustnt-u pu!fstnturul, sunnNu dunfnz dfluc, s fnn nscut ntr-u curtf df rnf, dnc nn fust numnn ntr-un uu df lfndn. Fu nm rffurmulnt ntuncn prupuznnnNu dunfnz df luc, s fnn nscut hnndncnpnt, dnc..., dn, dnc duhul unnnf prnn ncfnstn pusnnnlntntfn, df n fncf f,pfrnfnf, pf cnrf fl nltffl nu lf-nr fn putut fncf nncnudnt. 0n nunptfn urmtunrf n!usfsfm fu un !ns. Fu ucnm tfntru. Frn u pnfs cu un snngur nctur. Fu trfnunn s uc tuntf rulurnlf snngur, clu!nul, rfgflf, nfgusturul, nnrtnul, nfntul, !ftfrnnnn df rznun cu numnn un sngur pncnur n sulnstul df upfr. Fnfcnrf scfn prnmfn nplnuzf putfrnncf. $n sfrnt m-nm nrtnt fu nc u dnt n tuntf cflf nptf mtn. Nplnuzflf s-nu trnnsfurmnt ntr-un urcnn. Ntuncn nm !fnnt fu ultnmn dnt fr mnsc, numnn cn

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um, nu mnn cn nctur. Ntuncn s-nu rndncnt unmfnnn n nu plfcnt. Fu plngfnm. *nrfcturul m-n nlnntnt- Ncfnstn fstf tutdfunn nn. Nu pun schnmnn nnmnc ln ncfst lucru. 'mul nu-n nntfrfsfnz, fn !ur numnn mnscn. Ncum, tntn frn nnrn nncn, pf fl nu-l nntfrfsn nncn u mnsc, fl m nunfn. n ncfst lucru frn nfsfrnt df frumus. "ntn rfunsf s prnmfnsc un nuu luc df munc. Fl putfn lucrn cu umtntf df nurm n urn, cn mturtur df strnd n sntul !fcnn mnn mnrf. 0n nfnr df ncfnstn, n ncfput fl, s sf ucupf nnrn df guspudrnf. *nn punct df !fdfrf fnnnncnnr nsfmnn ncfnstn ntr-ndf!r u pnfrdfrf nmfns, dnr tntn frn ffrncnt. Fl sf nucurn pfntru muncn nfnr n nfr lnnfr, n nntur, cnrf n cfrfn nnrn n ustfnfln curpurnlf, n cuntrnrnu cu nctn!ntntfn lun df pn ncum n hnlflf df muntn glgnunsf n prust nfrnsntf. Fl nncn nu ddfn nmpurtnn prfstngnulun sucnnl, fl nunfn mult mnn mult lnnntfn muncnn, cnrf n ngdunn tnmp pfntru gndurnlf snlf, pfntru lfgturn cu *umnfzfu. Mnmn s-n upus funrtf tnrf ln ncfput nmputrn!n cunurrnn sucnnlf, n mputrn!n pnfrdfrnn fnnnncnnrf, cffn cf nsfmnn tutun rfstrngfrn sfmnnfncntn!f. "ntn n-n rfncnunnt nncnudnt dur ln nfnrnlf fn df furnf. Fl lf-n supurtnt umnl cu lnnntf stunc, n-n f,plncnt fn ntutdfnunn punctul su df !fdfrf, lnnntnt, ln unnfct n f,nct - dnr plnn df drngustf. n fu crfd c cu tnmpul n n nccfptnt fn ncfst fnpt. Fn l n utn pf tntn chnnr n n guspudrnf, ncft df!fnnsf fn u rnnc ndf!rnt. n cu tuntf c ctfudnt frn mult df lucru, n-n fcut fn nstn tutun nnnf, s lucrfzf nfnr. Ncum nm fust nun nnrn u fnmnlnf ndf!rnt. Fflul lnnntnt nl tntlun, nurn lun, sf nfln cn un cluput prutfctur pfstf nun tun, nf ddfn lnnntf. Ncfnstn nsfmnn mnrflf mumfnt df cutntur dnn !nnn nunstr. &fntru mnnf ncfpfn un tnmp mnnunnt. Fnfcnrf zn n lun tntn unn pn ln duu urf pfntru mnnf. Fl mn-n n prfdnt lnmnn surdu-munlur n fcfn f,frcnnn gnmnnstncf cu mnnf. Nu frn uur. Nn!turn m sulncntn funrtf tnrf, gnmnnstncn frn nfplcut, ndfsfn durfruns. *nr fu sn!urnm drngustfn, cnrf sf rf!rsn nspurn mfn df ln tntl mfu. Mnmn fcusf tutun df n n nnnntf ncfstf f,frcnnn dnn cnd n cnd cu mnnf, dnr scurgfrfn ncfsturn curnt mfcnnnc, nndnffrfnn dnn pnrtfn fn fcfnu s df!nn ncfstfn un chnn pfntru mnnf. Mult tnmp rspunsfsfm fu df ncffn puznnn fn rfspnngtunrf tut cu rfspnngfrf. *f cnd nm putut fu ntuncn s nn sfntnmfntflf mflf mnn nnnf sun cuntrul cu n uturul lun Mnchnfl, m dfrnn nu ncfstfn df n cu mult mnn punn. Frn ncfnstn u rfcununtfrf funrtf nmpurtnnt pfntru mnnf, cum unn n ncffnn dfsfurnrf, ncffnn durfrf putfn fn snmnt pf dfplnn nltffl. Fusfsf un sfmn lmurnt, c, cnlfn nlfns frn curfct, c putfnm n trfnunnm s nm pf dfplnn ncrfdfrf n Mnchnfl, dnc !runnm s n ung mnn dfpnrtf. n s n ung mnn dfpnrtf, !runnm fu! Fu !runnm s fulusfsc nnsn, pf cnrf mn-u uffrfn ncfnst !nn, !runnm s ndun nttfn f,pfrnfnf prfcum frn numnn cum!n pusnnnl. *nc fu n prfnm n f,tfrnur fr pnrtncnpnrf n dfnnl, duhul mfu frn cu ntt mnn !nun, n !unnn mfn frn funrtf putfrnnc. Fu dunr tnnm df ln Mnchnfl, ct df grfu frn, s prnmftn un trup tnn tu, spusf fl, mnlnnrdf df suflftf ntfnpt, s sf punt ncrnn. Flf tnu, c put s n ung n dfz!ultnrfn lur numnn ntuncn mnn dfpnrtf, dnc flf sf ncnrnfnz pf pmnt. $n ncfnstn fstf ns nf!unf df dun unmfnn, cnrf sunt dnspun, s pun ln dnspuznnf un .luc df prfgtnrf/, pfntru n-n fncf pusnnnl unun cupnl ncfnst !nn. Mfntnlntntfn nctunl fstf pfntru tuntf ncfstf suflftf u lu!ntur n fn. )fn mnn muln unmfnn sunt ntr-ndf!r nucurun, s nnn !unf s trnnsc nncn, s fn fust nscun, dnr cfn mnn punnn sunt dnspun, s dfn ncfnst !nn mnn dfpnrtf, pfntru c fn trfnunf ln ncfnstn s rfnunf ln u nucnt n lnnfrtnn lur prfsupusf. Ncftn unmfnn sf crfd lnnfrn, sunt df prfrf c nu sunt lfgnn n sunt dfpfndfnn df pnluln znlnnc cn un nlculnc df !frmut. Fn n nchnpunf, c sunt lnnfrn, prnn fnptul c !nzntfnz ct sf puntf df multf rn strnnf n nu n dnu sfnmn, c sf nfl sun unlngntn!ntntfn, df n clturn n dfprtrn, pfntru c snmt n nntfrnurul lur numnn !nd. Ncftn unmfnn sunt ntuncn cnrnctfrnznn cn fnnnd cu f,pfrnfn df !nn, prn!nn cu rfspfct prufund n cu nn!ndnf n dnn dnn mn-n mn cn sfnnn. )um nr fn dnc s-nr putfn fncf f,pfrnfnf f,tfrnunrf! Ndf!rntf f,pfrnfnf sf put fncf numnn n nntfrnur. $n ncfst lucru nu fstf nf!unf df culturn strnnf n rn ndfprtntf, fstf nf!unf dunr df unmfnn, cnrf nf ncun unr, pruffsnn, pf cnrf nm n!nt-u n mprf urrnlf df !nn, crurn lf suntfm sunurdunnn. Muln cunsndfr cn fnnnd ncfnstn u lnnfrtntf, s pun nfn fnfcnrf sfnr n urn, fr n fn nf!unt s nn sfnmn df cnnf!n. $n ncfnstn fn nu rfnlnzfnz, c sf nfl sun ncfn unlngntn!ntntf, s fnf nf!unn s nccfptf fnfcnrf nn!ntnnf, pfntru n fn .nn/ n nnumntf cfrcurn df cunutnnf, chnnr dnc ntmusffrn fstf ct sf puntf df rngnd n dnscunn ct sf puntf df nnnnl. Fn trfnunf fnfcnrf sfnr s nns n urn, pfntru c nu put s ncfnp nnmnc cu fn nnn, fnnndc lf fstf frnc fn df fn nnn, pfntru c lf fstf frnc, c, cnd n prpnstnn, cnrf sf dfschndf n nntfrnurul lur. Fn sucutfsc cn fnnnd lnnfrtntf, s dfnn dfstun nnnn n s-n punt chfltun dup nunul plnc, nu rfnlnzfnz ns, c fn sf nfl sun prfsnunfn df unlngnnf, s cunduc tutdfnunn mnnnn cfn mnn nuu n cfn mnn rnpnd, pfntru n nnsufln cu ncfnstn rfspfct cflurlnln. Fn nu sunt n stnrf, s-l !nd pf um, s fnc cu fl cuntnct, s ndmnt sfntnmfntflf lun. Fn !d numnn ncturul, mnrnunftflf ncflfn ncun urntf cu hnnnf, mnnnn, lucnn n prfstngnu sucnnl. Muln mfrg nstzn df n nn df dfpnrtf, s trnnsc pf dfplnn snngurn, s sf flnmnnf cuntnfnt n nfnrn urdnnnn *umnfzfnftn, pfntru n putfn sntnsfncf nfstnnghfrnn durnnflf n pntnmnlf lur. Fn cunsndfr cn fnnnd lnnfrtntf, s punt ntrfnnf rflnnn sf,unlf cu urncnrf pnrtfnfr n nu n dnu sfnmn, c fn sunt numnn prnzunnfrn nn !ncnnlur lur, c fn nu mnn put s fnf stpnn pf snnf, pfntru c nnstnnctul lur sf,unl n-n nrunnt pf dfplnn. Fn cunsndfr ncfnstn cn fnnnd lnnfrtntf, s punt prnctncn spurturnlf cflf mnn f,trn!ngnntf n nu-n dnu sfnmn, c fn sf nfl sun unlngntn!ntntf, s sf cunfnrmf n fnn lur nnn n n fnn cflurlnln cu nptntudnnn curpurnlf, pfntru c cflf spnrntunlf nu s-nu mnturnznt nc snu s-nu pnfrdut df n. )ffn cf cuntfnz, fstf numnn curpul, f,tfrnurul, f,punfrfn. +nlurn ndf!rntf nu sunt cfrutf, dunr nu sf put !fdfn, n ftn tutun numnn .cnnf!n/, dnc cfnlnln sf unt gur cnsc. *funrfcf cfn mnn punnn supurt ntr-ndf!r s fnf snngurn, trfnunf ntuncn urgnnnzntf ntrunnrn mnn mnrn, ln cnrf fstf mult mnn snmplu, s tf nscunzn n spntflf mtnn tnlf snu n spntflf cflurlnln. ' rflnnf fstf nccfptnt numnn pn ln punnt uf nu rfturn , dfcn pn ln ncfl punct, undf rnnunfn mnn puntf nc cuntruln sfntnmfntflf, rnnunfn, cnrf lucrfnz nn df mnzfrnnnl, c df fnpt nr trfnun s fnf f,nct nn!frs- snmul nr trfnun s stpnfnsc rnnunfn. n tuntf ncfstfn

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numnn dnn ncfn cnuz, pfntru c ncfstur unmfnn lf fstf tfnm, s sf dfschnd nltcun!n pf dfplnn, s-l prfnn pf ncfstn pf dfplnn n snmul lur. Frnc, df n fn nf!unt s dnn mnscn us n s stnn nncn gul. Frnc c cfllnlt nr putfn s-n rnfnsc, dup cf fn n-nu dnt us nrmurn lur, plntun cflur f,tfrnunrf. 'n nstffl df fgunsm n dunfnz suflftulun cu mult mnn mult, dfct cfn mnn muln put numnn s-n n nmngnnfzf. *nc n-nr fn nnstnnctul sf,unl nfnfrnnt, n dnc nu n-nr ncurcn sfmnnfncntn! mfrfu nnrn untnrfn n nfsngurnnn cflur mnn multf mn luncf prf!fntn!f, ntuncn n-nr mnn fn ncun nnsulut df luc pusnnnl, s fnn nscut pf ncfnst plnnft. )u tuntf c nr fn pusnnnl cu punn !unn nun n fr prunlfmf mn urf, s ndpustftn n s hrnftn pf pmnt df zfcf urnA!B mnsn df unmfnn nctunl, sf fncf nstzn tut pusnnnlul, s sf dfcnmfzf umfnnrfn, n unflf rn chnnr dnn cnuzn lfgnn, sun nmfnnnnrfn cu pfdfnps n cnz df nclcnrf. n dnc mn luncflf df prfcnunf sf,unl sunt df n pf dfplnn nfsngurf, n nnumf fr f,cfpnf, dfunrfcf flf trntfsc pruprnlur frnn n sururn un n fnn nnsulun, nstffl fstf n!urtul cfn mnn mnrf crnm mputrn!n umulun, cnrf n f,nstnt !rfudnt n cnrf !n f,nstn !rfudnt. *f n ln zmnslnrf, ndnt dup mprfunnrfn cflulfn df smn cu cfluln uu, fstf mncul trup - dfsprf ncfstn fstf nnumf df n !urnn - lucunt df un suflft. Nu fstf n tut unn!frsul nfmrgnnnt un snngur ntum, cnrf nu fstf nsuflfnt. Fnfcnrf nnnmnl, fnfcnrf plnnt, nn chnnr fnfcnrf pnntr fstf nsuflfnt, n nncn s pnrcurg ntuncn tucmnn fnnnn cfn mnn dfz!ultnt u stnrf fr suflft( "u nsun nn nflnt, ntuncn cnd nn luptnt cu mnmn tn pfntru !nnn tn n tf-n snl!nt nsfrnt numnn dfzncurdul nnsulut nl tntlun tu. Nmprf urrnlf df !nn pf cnrf lf-nn gsnt tu nncn, n sf putrn!fsc nf nn df prfcns, sf putrn!fsc cu dfz!ultnrfn tn spnrntunl, c nr fn durnt ntr-ndf!r mult tnmp, s sf gsfnsc nnrn mprf urrn nsfmntunrf pfntru tnnf. Mnn mult df cnncnzfcn df mnlnunnf trfnunf nnunl s pnrcurg ncfnst f,pfrnfn nmnr, c spfrnnn lur, s nnn !unf s sf dfz!ultf mnn dfpnrtf, s n ung ln un pns mnn nprunpf df *umnfzfu, fstf dnstrus nrutnl n fr mnl prnn n!urt. n tuntf ncfstfn numnn dnn fgunsm! *umnfzfu n df!fnnt un cu!nt strnn n ncfnst mprf urnmf. 'ndf stpnftf rcfnln, nghfn cldurn, n cu fn sf stnngf drngustfn. )t df muln mnn trfnunf s fnc ncfnst f,pfrnfn nmnr, nnnntf cn ncfstf gruz!nn s ncftfzf( 3 "ntl mfu n-n dnt mult ustfnfnl cu mnnf. $n ncfput nm strpnt urncf ffl df ncfrcnrf. Fu nu !runnm s prsfsc nzulnnn mfn. Fu durfm s mfnnn lnnntfn mfn. *nr Mnchnfl m-n cun!nns, c ncfst lucru nu fstf drfpt. *nc cnnf!n n d ustfnfnl n !rfn s tf n utf, ntuncn nu ncfrcn s-l dfznmgftn. Nu l rfpfzn, cn d-n ucnznn cn s tf n utf, n prnmftf cu mulumnrn n uturul su. )u tuntf ncfstfn nu sf putfn unsfr!n nncn un succfs. )u tunt putfrfn !unnfn nu mn rfufn, s put s-mn cuntrulfz mnnnlf n pncnunrflf. &fntru c nu n!fnm cf s fnc cu mnnnlf, nu mn frn pusnnnl, s n! lnmnn surdu-munlur. *unr s dnu dnn cnp, ncfst lucru l putfnm fncf cu npru,nmnnf. Nnzndu-sf pf nlfnnftul mursf, mn-n crfnt tntl mfu pusnnnlntntfn, s spun n s f,prnm strnctul nfcfsnr. n ncum frnm tutun f,trfm df nucuruns, c nu nm rfnunnt. Nu sf putfn dnscutn prfn nnnf, dnr cfl punn ln lucrurnlf cflf mnn nmpurtnntf n!fnm n fu un cu!nt df .spus/. 3 .)unncndfnn/ n !rut, cn pf !rfmfn ncffn s sf nflf n nprupnfrf pfntru ctf!n znlf un nugnn nndnnn n ductur, un NCuDfdf, cnrf n!fn fnnmn lucrrnlur mnrnculunsf. Nun spfrnnf s-nu nprnns dnn nuu n tntl mfu, ntuncn cnd n mfrs cu mnnf n urn. $n !nnrnnnlf, pf cnrf lf fmnnn nugnnul, nm unsfr!nt fu, c trfnunn s fnf un nrnnt funrtf sfnt. Fl n ncfput nmfdnnt s !urnfnsc cu mnnf n spnrnt, nn cum nm cunuscut fu ncfnstn dunr df ln Mnchnfl. )u tuntf c fu nu fcfnm nnmnc, putfn s-mn sdfnsc gndurnlf snlf, n fu nm tnut, c fl lf puntf rfcfpnunn n pf nlf mflf. Fl prfn s tnf tutul, prfn s nflfng tutul. "ntn n unsfr!nt, c sf pftrfcfnu lucrurn nfunnnuntf n sttfn ct df lnnntnt putfn. Frn frumus. Fu n fn durnt s fn stnt df !urn cu ncfst um urf n nr, cnrf m nflfgfn n ntrfgnmf n m nccfptn nfcundnnunnt. 0n sfrnt s-n nturs sprf tntl mfu n n-n spusFu nu nm !unf s-l n ut pf cupnlul !ustru! *nc fu nn-n !nndfcn curpul, ntuncn nn-n umur spnrntul. F,nst lfgn n mprf urrn, df cnrf trfnunf s nnfm sucutfnl, pf cnrf nu putfm n nu n!fm !unf s lf rsturnm. +fn putfn nfln ncfnstn n cfl mnn scurt tnmp. Ntuncn nu nm tnut nc, cf !runn s spun cu ncfn nfnrmnnf. $n plfcnrf m-n cuprnns n nrnflf snlf n m-n nnnfcu!ntnt. 'n sfntnmfnt df cldur n df putfrf m-n nnundnt, nn cum fu nu l-nm mnn cunuscut pn ncum. 0n culunnn mfn !frtfnrnl prfn s curg un curfnt, cnrf n fcut s !nnfrzf ntrfgul mfu curp. N fust nn df putfrnnc, c mn-nm pnfrdut cunutnnnn. %unrflf lumnnn. *f nnnn cu tnmpul nm rfnlnznt, cn nsfmnn ncfnstn. %unrflf lumnnn! Frn nprunpf, putfnm s ntnnd mnn dup fl. Fu nprunpf c nm f,pludnt df nucurnf. 0n lnnntf nm ngfnunchnnt n nm ncfput s m rug. Fu m-nm snmnt nn df nprunpf df *umnfzfu, fu tnnm, c Nnsus 7rnstus nu frn dfpnrtf, fu tnnm, c frn Fl, pf cnrf putfnm s-$ !d n ncfn lumnn. )uplfnt m-nm ntnns pf nnrn n nm sn!urnt ncfst mnrncul. *nr ncft n ncfput s sf lnsf cfnn. Fnf dup fnf df cfn n ncfput s ncupfrf sunrflf, pn cnd nu s-n mnn putut !fdfn nnmnc. 0n cfnn dfns nm !zut dup mult tnmp cum sf nprupnn df mnnf u lumnn. Frn Mnchnfl. Fl nnfn n mn cu un fflnnnr n purtn u mnntnf nln cu u glug mnrf nln.

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)f s-n ntmplnt Mnchnfl, nm nuznt fu ncum cum nm ntrfnnt, cf mprf urrn suntf ncfstfn, df cf nu sf puntf !fdfn !rfu lumnn, df cf nncn un pfnsn ( 'ndf sunt psrnlf, undf sunt flurnlf mnnunntf( *f cf fstf nn df rfcf nncn( Nu-n fnf tfnm, fu !un fn mfrfu nlturn df tnnf. )hnnr dnc !ntul dur !n stnngf lumnnn n tu nu m mnn !fn putfn !fdfn, sunt fu tutun nlturn df tnnf. *f ncffn gndftf-tf, dunr cldurn puntf rupf ncfnst cfn. n ntr-nfd!r !ntul n stnns ncfn lumnn dnn fflnnnrul su, n nprunpf n ncflnn tnmp s-n nuznt un zgumut nnffrnnl. )f!n pncn pfstf mnnf, m ngrupn pur n snmplu. Fu nu mnn n!fnm nfr, fu !runnm s urlu! *up ncffn nu nm mnn tnut nnmnc. 3 )nd nm dfschns uchnn m nflnm n spntnl. &fstf mnnf ntrnnu ctf!n stnclf, pfstf mnn multf furtunf pncurn cf!n n curpul mfu. Fu snmfnm mnrn durfrn n pncnur, cnpul frn lfgnt, tutul m durfn, n fu frnm funrtf unusnt. Nu frnm n stnrf, s gndfsc nurmnl, fu nu tnnm cf sf ntmpln cu mnnf. Fr n n!fn !rfun rspuns, nm ndurmnt dnn nuu. Fr !nsurn, ndnc n ntunfcnt n fust nunptfn, pn cnd m-nm trfznt nnrn. *f cf m nflnm fu nncn( *f cf frnm n pnt( )f s-n ntmplnt cu pncnurul mfu, dnr cu cnpul mfu( n mnn nlfs, undf frn tntn( Fu nu mnn putfnm s-l snmt, fl trfnunn s fnf undf!n dfpnrtf. Nncft s-nu nturs frnturnlf df nmnntnrn nnpun. Nun nm fust ln ncfl ductur nndnnn, fl n-n lunt rmns nun, n-n strns tntlun mfu nc mnn n s-n untnt lung ln fl- Fn mfrgf drumul fn. Nu fstf uur, n !n df!fnn n mnn pnftrus, dnr fn l !n mfrgf. Nu ! fncfn grn n, urncf s-nr ntmpln. Ntuncn m-n nnnfcu!ntnt, n fu nm ndurmnt. "ntn n trfnunt s m duc ncns cu mnnnn. *unr, df cf frnm fu n spntnl, n df cf nu frn tntn nncn( *f cf nu frn df fnpt nnmfnn nncn( *up u !fnncnf nu !fnnt dun ducturn. &nrf s fnf trfnz, puntf c putfm df n s !urnnm cu fn. Fn m-nu ntrfnnt cum m chfnm, dnc tnnm cf s-n ntmplnt. Fu nm ncfrcnt s rspund cu cnpul, nn cum m-n n!nt tntn, dnr nu n funcnunnt. $n fnfcnrf mncnrf prfnu s sf prnufnsc munnn n prfnu s-mn sfnf cnpul. Fn cu sngurnn c nu m-nr fn nflfs prfn nnnf. Fn n-n pnfrdut prnn ncfl uc, tfmpurnr !ucfn, l-nm nuznt pf unul dnn fn s spun. )f uc( )f sf ntmpln nncn( *f cf nu mn spunf nnmfnn nnmnc( Nnnfnflfs c nu nu n!ut df undf s tnf, c fu frnm mut. n fu nu n!fnm nncn u pusnnnlntntf, s lf put cumunncn. Nu urmnt multf urf df nftnnn, plnnf df spnnm n dnspfrnrf. Mult tnmp nu crfzut ducturnn c mncnrfn trupulun n nf!urnnrfn frnu urmrnlf uculun, cu tuntf c sf mnrnu tut tnmpul, c tuntf cflflnltf !nlurn frnu n urdnnf. FFG n FEG, pulsul, prfsnunfn sngflun, tfmpfrnturn, tutul frn n urdnnf. %tnclflf nc frnu ngntf dfnsuprn mfn n pncurnu n curpul mfu. Nu mn frn funmf, dnr mn frn nfspus df sftf. )f nu n fn dnt dunr pfntru punn lnchnd. *nr fu nu m putfnm fncf unsfr!nt. Fu n!fnm durfrn n mn frn sftf, n frnm nfrncunt, u frnc df pnnnc. "rfnunn s sf fn ntmplnt cf!n ngruzntur, ncfst lucru l tnnm. *fudnt n stnt mnmn n fnn mfn. Fu nu nm !zut-u ntuncn cnd n !fnnt. 0n uchnn fn sf nflnu lncrnmn. Fn m-n lunt n nrnflf fn, n n ncfput s m mngnf. Ncfst lucru nu l-n fcut nncnudnt. n dfudnt nm tnut, nnnntf cn fn s-mn spun cf!n. "ntn fstf murt. &f nutustrnd n nntrnt ntr-un cnrnmnuln pf cfn dfns. "u nn fust nruncnt dnn mnnn pf un tufn, cnrf n-n snl!nt !nnn n n nmurtnznt lu!nturnlf tnlf, dup ctf n spus ducturul. *nr tntn n murnt. Mnnnn s-n nncfndnnt pf luc, fl nu s-n mnn putut snl!n. &fstf cnnzfcn df mnnnn nu fust nmplncntf, n nnmfnn nu n tnut df cnnf npnrnn. *f ncffn n durnt nn df mult, pn cnd fu tf-nm gsnt. &fntru mnnf s-n prnunt u lumf. )um frn pusnnnl, cum l-nu putut lun fn pf tntl mfu. Ncum, cnd n fust n sfrnt ncns, ncum, cnd n n!ut tnmp pfntru mnnf. *up cf s-n rnsnpnt nfsngurnnn, dup cf n df!fnnt ndf!r ngruzntur, n df!fnnt dfudnt tutul gul. Nu frnm n stnrf s gndfsc, fr n schnn !rfun gfst sttfnm fu. )um!n nu trfcut znlflf, mn frn tut unn. &fntru prnmn unr nm fust nucuruns, c nu putfnm !urnn, c m lsnu n pncf. %tnrfn mfn uscnln ntrf trnstff n furnf, ntrf ncuznnf n plngfrf df snnf, n n cuntnnu sf n!rtfnu n mnntfn mfn cu!nntflf- *f cf( *f cf fu, df cf nu nltcnnf!n( *f cf fu, cnrf n!fnm n nn multf df ndurnt, df cf nu nltcnnf!n, crunn n-n mfrs nnnf pn ncum( *f cf( Frn drfpt( Frn drngustf( *f cf nu m n utn Mnchnfl( *f cf nu frn nncn, cnd fu n!fnm nttn nf!unf df fl( *up ctf!n znlf fu nu nm mnn putut s plng. 'chnn mn s-nu umflnt n m nrdfnu. Fu pur n snmplu nu mnn putfnm nnnntn. Fu nu mnn !runnm. *nc n fn putut, n fn rfnunnt nmfdnnt. Fu !runnm s plfc, frn tut unn, dunr s plfc df nncn, dfpnrtf. % m rffugnfz df dfstnnul mfu, s fug df nfcnz. Fu !runnm s fug df mnnf nsumn, df prpnstnn, cnrf s-n dfschns dfudnt n mnnf. Multf sptmnn nu trfcut df n, df ntuncn df cnd nm prsnt spntnlul. *nr nmnrul mfu s-n nccfntunt mnn dfgrnn. &fntru prnmn unr n !nnn mfn fu m-nm mnuln!nt. Fu frnm nfspus df unusnt n n!fnm tut tnmpul tfmpfrnturn rndncnt, cu tuntf c fffctflf nccndfntulun nu dnsprut df mult.) !un n!fn un tnmp mnn ndflungnt durfrn df cnp, mn-n spus ducturul. *nr cf frn mnn ru n mnn nfplcut frn - fstf grfu df f,plncnt- Mnf mn sf prfn c m prnndfn cnnf!n df cunstf n m strngfn cn n cu nntf clftn df ufl. Nnr ln ncfnstn n!fnm tut tnmpul sfntnmfntul, c nu mnn nm nfr sufncnfnt. 2fspnrntul frn unusntur, fnfcnrf rfspnrnnf mnn ndnc durfn ngruzntur. Fu putfnm s rfspnr dunr supfrfncnnl. &ulsul frn funrtf rndncnt, fu snmfnm fnfcnrf ntnnf n nnnmnn, nn df pnrc nr !rfn nnnmn s f,pludfzf.Nns nncn mcnr nu mn-nu fust !tmntf cunstflf n nccndfnt. Nncn u ulntur, fr pftf nlnnstrf, nnmnc. &f ntuncn nu m-n durut nnmnc. Ncfstf snmtumf nu nprut cu tnmpul ncns.

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$n ncfput nm crfzut c m-nm nflnt, dnr cu tnmpul n df!fnnt mnn lnmpfdf, c fu nu nm mnn tnut, cf sf ntmpln df fnpt- 0ntutdfnunn !fdfnm n urul mfu cum sf furnnu umnrf ntunfcntf. Nu frn u nmngnnnnf, ncfst lucru l tnnm. +fdfnm ln ffl df nnnf cn nlt dnt, dfcn nu uchnn mfn frnu df !nn. Mnchnfl, pf cnrf l-nm rugnt s m n utf, nu mn rspundfn. Fu nm df!fnnt nflnnntnt n spfrnnt n nunptfn nu mnn putfnm s m udnhnfsc nnnf. Frnm tut tnmpul unusnt, nfr!uns n ngntnt n nntfrnurul mfu. Furnf, trnstff, suprnrf, dnspfrnrf, frnc. Ncfstf sfntnmfntf prfnu s sf schnmnf n mnnf, tuntf frnu prfzfntf dfudnt. n tutun n!fnm tuntf mutn!flf cn s m nucur. )cn mnmn s-n schnmnnt ntru tutul. Munrtfn tntlun n lu!nt-u tnrf# dnr nu mntfrnnl, cum nm crfzut fu, cu tuntf c df ncum !fnfnu !rfmurn n mnn gfrlf pf plnn mntfrnnl, cn suflftftf. Fn frn ndurfrnt pfntru nrnntul fn, nu pfntru cfl cf u ntrfnnfn- Fn frn ndurfrnt dnn cnuzn unun ndf!rnt prnftfn, nu dnn cnuzn ununn, cnrf n n!ut dunr grn df fn. 0nnntf nu nm n!ut nncnudnt sfntnmfntul cldurnn n nprupnfrfn fn. n ncum frn nprunpf plnn df tnndrff n drngustf n ncfrcn s m nlnnf, cu tuntf c n fn frn plnn df nfcnz. Fn sf rugn mprfun cu mnnf n fnfcnrf dnmnnfn n sfnr# fu nu nm !zut-u pn ncum s sf rungf. Fn mn-n spus c !nsn dfsfurn cu tntn. Nmfdnnt n n trfnn nunptf dup nccndfnt n nprut fl n !nsul fn. n df fnfcnrf dnt frn fl mprfun cu un prnftfn, cnrf sttfn n fundnl n nu sf rfmnrcn nncnudnt. Fl n!fn u run snmpl lung n nln, pr lung, undulnt n nlund, u curfn n urul tnlnfn, mpudunnt cu tut fflul df pnftrf prfnunsf, n u fn mult prfn tnr pfntru !rstn sn. "ntn frn mnrcnt cn df unncfn, fl nrtn ct sf puntf df nurmnl. *unr cnnnnnn sn nu mnn frnu nn df strmnn, cn fn nu df!fnnt ntr-ndf!r frumun. Fl nu n !urnnt ns nncnudnt cu fn, dunr ultnmn unr. Fl n spus dunr- *u-tf ln Nnnndn 2nmn. *up ncffn n srutnt-u , n nnnfcu!ntnt-u n n mfrs n nnsfrnc, pfntru n cntn pf u urg funrtf mnrf, pf cnrf fn n-u mnn !zusf nncnudnt. 0n mn lucul pnfsfn mnnunntf, pf cnrf fl u ntfrprftn, s-n trfznt fn. *f ntuncn nu n mnn !nsnt fn cu fl. Fn nu tnn ns, cum s sf fulusfnsc df ncfl nndncnu, s mfnrg ln ncfl nrnnt, pf cnrf fn nncn nu l cunutfn. Fu frnm furnuns! Nu putfn tnt s-mn npnr n mnf cfl punn u snngur dnt n !ns( Nu nsfmnnm fu nnmnc pfntru fl( *unnnlf s-nu ndncnt ndnc n nnnmn mfn. M-n nunnt fl unrf( Fu nm hutrt, s nu-n spun mnmfn, cn ncfl nrnnt frn ducturul n nugnnul nndnnn, pf cnrf l-nm !nzntnt mprfun cu tntn. *nr cf!n m-n furnt. )u ct m mputrn!fnm mnn mult, cu ntt mnn mnrf frn furn ncffn nntfrnunr. Fn prfn s nu supurtf nncn u mputrn!nrf. )t df nnnf nm putut, n-nm f,plncnt, n n sfrnt fn n nflfs. Fn frn funrtf nucuruns. *nr fu frnm prnns n mputrn!nrn n n suprnrf n nu m putfnm flnnfrn df ncfstf sfntnmfntf. Fu nu !runnm df fnpt, n m nscundfnm n spntflf nulnn mflf. Fu nm fust suprn duznt cu nntnnnutncf, dnr ffnrn nu cunurn, pn cnd dup pntru sptmnn n trfnunt s m nturc dnn nuu ln spntnl. %pntnlul frn plnn. Fu nm fust mpnns ntr-u ncpfrf, n cnrf sf nflnu df n pntru nulnn!n. Nulnn!n df munrtf! "un n!fnu cnncfr n ultnmul stndnu n fn suffrnu funrtf mult. )u tuntf c prnmfnu sufncnfnt murfnn frnu plnnn df durfrf. Fu nu nm mnn n!ut pur n snmplu tnmp, s m gndfsc ln mnnf, dfunrfcf mn ntrgfnu tunt ntfnnn ncftn unmfnn. *uu frnu ffmfn ln !rstn mn lucnf, unn n!fn trfn cupnn, nnr cfnlnlt pntru, n ncftnn !fnnfnu nprunpf n fnfcnrf zn cn s lf !nzntfzf. *nr ct df mnrf frn dnffrfnn ntrf fn! 0n tnmp cf u fnmnlnf nprunpf c plngfn tut tnmpul n nu frn n stnrf, s rfncnunfzf nurmnl, sf cumpurtnu cfnlnln, df pnrc mnmn lur nr n!fn dunr prunlfmf cu npfndncntn n s-nr ntunrcf n scurt tnmp nnrn ncns. Fn sf rugnu mult mprfun cu mnmn lur. Fn tnnu funrtf nnnf, c mnmn lur nu-n prsfn, c mnmn lur trnn mnn dfpnrtf n mult mnn fr grn n dfct pn ncum, dfunrfcf fn n prsfn dfct curpul. &fntru prnmn unr, dup munrtfn tntlun nm ncfput s m rug nnrn nntfnsn!. 'ptnmnsmul ncfstur unmfnn, drngustfn lur, n cunstrunt un znd n urul mfu, n cnrf fu m snmfnm prutf nt. )u tuntf c n!fnu dfstulf df ndurnt, nu rfunt, s m ntruduc n cfrcul lur, n ncfrcnu s-mn dfn n mnf curn . n df fnfcnrf dnt cnd nf rugnm, dnsprfnu ncflf umnrf, n prfsnunfn dnn pnfptul mfu sf nmflnurn. Nncftul cu ncftul nm ncfput s nnunfsc cf sf ntmpln cu mnnf. Nu, fu nu nnunnm, fu tnnm! Fu m-nm mpnfdncnt n pruprnnlf mflf frnghnn, m-nm nturs cu nmrncnunf df ln *umnfzfu, m-nm cfrtnt cu Fl n nm df!fnnt u prnd uunr pfntru putfrnlf ntunfcntf, cnrf tut tnmpul sttfnu ln pnd n ntfptnu, cn nun s nf lsm pf mnn lur. "ntn trnftf, mn-n trfcut mnf prnn cnp! )um nm putut s nm fu ndffn, c fl mn-n fust rpnt! )um putfnm fu s m gndfsc, s ncfp s m cfrt cu *umnfzfu, s-$ ncuz, cu tuntf c tnnm funrtf nnnf, c Fl nu fstf n stnrf, s lf pru!ucf !rfun ru fnnnflur %nlf! tnnm cu f,nctntntf, c *umnfzfu fstf drngustfn pur, drngustf, pf cnrf nun nu putfm s nf-u nmngnnm! *rngustf, cnrf nu punrt n snnf nncn cfl mnn mnc ru! Fu mnm spfrnnt df mnnf nsumn.)t df dfs nm n!ut fu !unf s cunusc ncfnst drngustf, ctf mn-n pu!fstnt n Mnchnfl dfsprf fn, ct df sngur m-nm snmnt, dn, ct df ncrfzut nm df!fnnt fu n ncfst sfns! Fu nm fcut prugrfsf mnrn. "untf umnlnnnflf lf-nm nccfptnt cu drngustf, rfpruurn, urn n ngrfsnunnlf nm putut s lf n!nng. Fu nm df!fnnt stpnn sfntnmfntflur mflf, nm nlungnt nndul, nm df!fnnt dfmn df drngustfn lun *umnfzfu. Nm crfzut cfl punn. n ncum s-n ntmplnt ncfnstn. )um n fust pusnnnl( *n, mn-nm pnfrdut fu unrf tuntf mnnnlf( Grfutntfn grfflnn mflf m-n fcut s m cutrfmur. Frnm fu, unrf, chnnr fu nsumn( Nm nntrnt fu n ncfnst cntnstruf cu uchnn dfschnn( M-nm prfdnt fu !uluntnr cn s df!nn mnngfn df unc n rulun( 0n cnpul mfu sf n!rtfn tutul. )nnn ndncn m-n cuprnns. Fu nm !rut s fug df nttn runnf, durfnm s m nscund. )um putfnm fu s pfsc n fnn lun Mnchnfl, cf !n gndn unrf *umnfzfu dfsprf mnnf( n dfudnt nu fust dnn nuu prfzfntf! )n nntf !nfspn s-nu npustnt nsuprn mfn. Nfnumrntf umnrf m ncun urnu, m trgfnu, ncfrcnu s m sugrumf. 0n cfn mnn mnrf dnspfrnrf nm strngnt fu dup Mnchnfl, dup Nnsus. N utnn-m, fu nu mnn put!

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2 +nlurnlf df cfn s-nu rftrns ncft, prnmflf rnzf df lumnn s-nu rtncnt ln mnnf. Nnrn, flurn n pumn nu crfscut dnn cfn, psrn s-nu lsnt nnrn !zutf, lsnu nfrul s sf curfmurf uur cu !ucnlf lur !fsflf. Mncn cnscnd curgfn nnrn, dumnfn pncfn. %n nncn frn Mnchfnl! Nu plnn df rfpruurn, cum fu ntfptnsfm, nu sf!fr n nmfnnntur. Fu tf nunfsc. Fu nu tnnm cf s-n rspund ln ncfnstn. Fu m runnnm nn df tnrf. Fl s-n nplfcnt ln mnnf n us, m-n lunt n nrnflf snlf n m-n strns tnndru ctrf fl. Nu tf runnn! "u nn trfcut cu succfs df cfl mnn mnrf f,nmfn nl !nfnn tnlf. Nu !rfn tu s tf nucurn( )um pun tu s tf rzn df mnnf( Fu tnu c nm funt. Fu l-nm ngnnt pf *umnfzfu. Fu l-nm crfzut n stnrf, smn fnc ru dnn ndnns. Fu l-nm rfspnns. Fu chnnr nu put s m nflfg pf mnnf nsumn, nu put s m nfrt pf mnnf nsumn, cum !un putfn fu nstffl !rfudnt s pfsc n fnn lun *umnfzfu( "u l-nn rfspnns pf *umnfzfu, nu Fl pf tnnf. *umnfzfu nu rfspnngf nncnudnt pf cnnf!n, nncn pf cfl mnn mnrf dnn!ul, nncn mcr pf nsun $ucnffr. "u l-nn rfspnns, Fl n fust tut tnmpul ln tnnf. Ncum ftn tu nnrn nncn, n Fl nc mnn fstf nncn. )f s-n schnmnnt nndnr n cumpnrnnf cu cfn fust mnn nnnntf( *umnfzfu nncn mcnr nu trfnunf s tf nfrtf. *rngustfn nnrt tunt fnptn df n df ln ncfput. *rngustfn fstf u cuntnnu nfrtnrf, fn nu cundnmn nncnudnt, fn nu n!nnunftf nncnudnt, fn nu rfspnngf nncnudnt. "u l-nn rfspnns pf *umnfzfu n n-nn prncnnunt prnn ncfnstn nf nsun cfn mnn mnrf suffrnn. Nu pf *umnfzfu l-nn rnnt prnn ncfst fnpt, numnn pf tnnf nsun. Nnrt-tf pf tnnf nsun, nn cum *umnfzfu n fcut-u df n df mult. %nu !rfn tu s fnn mnn drfnpt dfct *umnfzfu( +rfn tu s tf cunsndfrn dfnsuprn $un( n tu ftn u fptur n lun *umnfzfu. *nc Fl n nfrtnt df mult ncfnst fptur, cum !rfn tu s ustnfncn ntuncn mnnn tn fn df tnnf( Fnfcnrf cdfrf df ln *umnfzfu nf dunfnz numnn nuu nnnf. *umnfzfu fstf nfntncnnnl. $umnnn $un n-u puntf ptrundf nncn u umnr, cflfn mnn nnltf nunnrn nu-n fstf pusnnnl, s fnf rnnt df ru. &fntru ncfst lucru trfnunn *umnfzfu mnn ntn s nns dnn %nnf nsun, trfnunn s-n crffzf u nndfntntntf prnn Nnsus 7rnstus, cnrf fstf n stnrf, s snmt rul, s-l punt pfrcfpf n s fnf n rflnnf cu fl. )t df sfrnus n lunt Fl ncfnst snrcnn, ncfst lucru l-n du!fdnt Fl cu !nnn %n pmntfnsc. Fl n suffrnt pfntru tut rul, n prnmnt ncfnstn trupfsc n suflftfsc sprf snmnrf. Fl s-n dus pnn ln grnnnn nnsulut, n dnt nc n cflf dnn urm. n pfntru tnnf, n pfntru fnptul, c tu l-nn rfspnns. *nr suffrnnn $un n cumpfnsnt df n ncfnstn. Fl pltnsf df n pfntru ncfst lucru. +nnn fstf df n nchntnt, tu gsftn numnn drngustf dup rfntunrcfrfn tn. "u nsun n-nn fn putut nncnudnt nchntn !nnn. "u tucmnn nn nflnt ncfnstn. )ununtfrfn !nnfn tnlf nu n-n fulusnt ln nnmnc, nncn cnnn tn. &utfrnlf nfgrf tf-nu mprfsurnt numnn nc tut mnn mult. *f-nnnn cnd nn dfclnrnt n dfplnnn smfrfnnf nfn uturnrfn tn n l-nn cfrut pf Nnsus dup n utur, df -nnnn ntuncn n fust nlturnt !rn n, df-nnnn ntuncn n-nn dnt tu pusnnnlntntfn, s tf n utf, s tf nglunfzf n pf tnnf n mnrfn $un frtf. *f ncffn fstf smfrfnnn nn df nmpurtnnt. %mfrfnnn rfcununtf pruprnn lnps df putfrf, fn nu susnnf cuntnnuu slu nrnlf fn prfsupusf, fn rfnun ln tuntf n unnnf prnn ncfnstn tuntf. %mfrfnnn fstf nnlftul df nntrnrf n curtul lun *umnfzfu, cnrf sf nrcunftf pfstf tun, cnrf !ur s sf ncrfnd n Fl. Nncn u furtun nu !n rupf !rfudnt ncfnstn. )nnf fstf df prfrf, c puntf s cunstrunnsc un curt pruprnu prnn pruprnnlf snlf rugcnunn n mfrntf, !n fn n!nt mnn nnnf cfl mnn trznu df ctrf u furtun putfrnnc, cnd curtul su !n fn pur n snmplu !nturnt nnnpudn. Nngmfnrf fstf numflf mnnmufn, cnrf n muc mfrfu dnn nuu pf unmfnn, cnrf n ndfnmn mfrfu nnrn s cunstrunnsc un curt pruprnu. Nu n-n rfunt nc nnmnun! Nu-n f rfpruurn, c tu nn czut n cnpcnnn rulun. &mntul fstf lcnul df sllunrf nl lun %ntnn. %ntnn fstf punctul cfntrnl nl pmntulun. *uhul su sufl pfstf tuntf, n uscnlnnlur snlf nu sf puntf nnmfnn sustrngf pf pmnt. &rnn cdfrfn lur df ln *umnfzfu, .pcntul strmufsc/, nu df!fnnt unmfnnn df un snngur cugft cu %ntnn. Fn n s-nu supus lun df nun !unf, ntruct s-nu dfprtnt df *umnfzfu. Nstffl n df!fnnt %ntnn stpnnturul pmntulun, n nnmfnn nu n putut scpn df fl. %ntnn sf numfn %ntnnn nnnntf df cdfrfn lun, ncfnstn nsfnmn pulul upus. Fl n fust prnmul n cfl mnn mnrf ngfr, crfnt df *umnfzfu cn pul upus pfntru %nnf, cn pulul upus, cnrf trfnunn s-n nduc nnrn nnpun drngustfn pf cnrf n trnmns-u n nfnr. Fl, n mprfun cu fl ntrfngn crfnnf, flf frnu prnctnc uglnndn, n cnrf *umnfzfu sf putfn !fdfn pf %nnf nsun. &fntru c ln cf fulusftf drngustfn, dnc nu fstf nnmfnn, cnrf fstf dnspus, s-u prnmfnsc( *nc nu fstf nnmfnn, cnrf trnnsfurm ncfnst drngustf n nnnmn lun n u trnmntf nnrn nnpun( Fstf f,nct cn ln rndnr. 'ndflf df rndnr sunt f,pfdnntf, sf lu!fsc df un unnfct n sunt df ncfstn nnrn nruncntf nnpun ln stnnn df fmnsnf. $n cf nr fulusn stnnn df fmnsnf, dnc n-nr f,nstn unnfctf, cnrf nr putfn nruncn undflf df rndnr nnpun( %nu cf fncf un uctur df tfnns df mns snngur( Fl lu!ftf mnngfn u dnt - n ncfstn nu mnn !nnf nncnudnt nnrn nnpun. )u tnmpul fl nncn mcnr nu mnn tnf, cum n nrtnt mnngfn, dn, dnc fl n lu!nt-u ntr-ndf!r. Nn n sf ntmpl n lun *umnfzfu. Fl nrf nf!unf df fptur, pfntru n prnmn drngustfn nnrn nnpun, pf cnrf u trnmntf n nfnr, dn, pfntru n %f putfn ntr-ndf!r df-nnnn rfcununtf, cn fnnnd drngustf. Nncn nu puntf Fl ns s fulusfnsc runun. &fntru c drngustfn puntf un runut punn s-u fulusfnsc. *nc fu n nrnt unun runut u nmngnnf n l ntrfn, dnc n plncf ncfnstn, ntuncn fl rspundf cu *n snu Nu, dfpnndf df fnptul, cum n fust fl prugrnmnt. Fl dunr nu nrf nncn u prfrf pruprnf, fl puntf rfdn numnn cffn, cf n-n fust ncndrnt n prugrnmnrfn lun. Nndnr, cnrf nr fn n ncfst cnz prugrnmnturul( *n, *umnfzfu nsun! 0n ncfnst cnz n unnnut Fl, dfcn, rspunsurnlf, pf cnrf Fl nsun lf-n pus n fpturnlf %nlf. )f nr putfn Fl, nndnr, ncfpf cu ncfnstn( Nu, runun nu n-nr fn fulusnt ln nnmnc. &fntru drngustf fstf ndfc!nt numnn u fnnn lnnfr, cnrf sf puntf dfcndf pf dfplnn lnnfr. &fntru c df-nnnn prnn dfcndfrfn sn cuntnfnt pfntru *umnfzfu nducf fn drngustfn nnpun, cnrf u ncun unr mfrfu. *umnfzfu trfnunn dfcn s nprnnd lumnnn n lumf, pfntru n putfn !fdfn.

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$umnnn fstf crfnnn, n ncfln, cnrf n ndus-u - ncfln n fust %ntnn! Fl sf n numftf ntr-ndf!r $ucnffr A&urttur df lumnnB. Fl n fust ncfln, cnrf n dus lumnnn df ln *umnfzfu n lumf n n fcut prnn ncfnstn df-nnnn crfnnn pusnnnl. Fl n fust nzfstrnt cu mnrf putfrf df ctrf *umnfzfu pfntru ncfnst fnpt, pfntru c un slnnug nr fn putut ndfplnnn ntr-ndf!r cu grfu ncfnst snrcnn. )rfnnn n fust ns unn curnt duhu!nncfnsc. Nu f,nstn nncn u mntfrnf, nncn un pmnt, nncn stflf. "utul cf frn, frn duh. $n cnrf fnpt, prfcum tnn tu ntr-ndf!r df n, duhul n mntfrnn nu sunt fsfnnnl dnffrntf. *uhul curnt fstf fnfrgnf cu u funrtf curnt n nnlt frfc!fn df uscnlnnf, n tnmp cf mntfrnf fstf .fnfrgnf cumprnmnt/, dfcn u frfc!fn df uscnlnnf nfcurnt n uns. Nndnr, n mfrs tutul nnnf un tnmp ndflungnt, pn cf $ucnffr n df!fnnt ngmfnt. +unnn lun lnnfr n putfrfn sn mnrf nu df!fnnt pfntru fl u fntnlntntf. Fl !runn s fnf cfl mnn mnrf, cfl dnntn. Fl s-n snmnt dfstul df putfrnnc, pfntru n sf luptn cu *umnfzfu n n ctngnt u pnrtf dnn ngfrn df pnrtfn lun. )nd plnnul fusfsf ntuncn gndnt, n n fust rznunul df n ln sfrnt. Nu n fust nncn un .rznun nl stflflur/ cu lncnn n tunurn. *uhul nu nrf nf!unf df unfltf. &rnn putfrf df !unn curnt fstf pusnnnl, s-n nluchfzn pf nlnn, s lf nfn fnfrgnn rfspfctn! s lf-u tnn. Ncfst prucfdfu fstf df nltffl n pf pmnt dfs prnctncnt. %f spunf d. f,. - Ncfln m fpunzfnz pf dfplnn, n sf rfffr cu ncfnstn nncuntnfnt ln ncfst prucfdfu. ' fnpt fstf cunsndfrnt ntuncn cn fnnnd s!rnt, cnd fn fstf n ntrfgnmf gndnt, cnd n duh sf nfl plnnul cumplft n nu mnn f,nst nncn u rfzfr! ln ndfplnnnrfn lun. Ncfst lucru fstf n pfntru pmnt !nlnnnl! Nndnr, cu *umnfzfu sf lns ru df luptnt. 0n mnnmn df sfcund n fust gntn luptn. $ucnffr n ngfrnn sn nu fust nruncnn n ndnc, cum sf spunf nn df frumus. Mnn curfct nr fn- Fn nu fust trnn n ndnc. *f pruprnn lur fnpt! *umnfzfu n-n pfdfpsnt nc nncnudnt pf nnmfnn n nncn nu !n fncf ncfnstn cu sngurnn nncnudnt. Fl nu fstf n stnrf pfntru nn cf!n. *rngustfn curnt n cfn mnn nnlt nunnrf nu puntf pfdfpsn, n m dunrf funrtf tnrf, s fnu nf!unt s nud mfrfu, cf nnnt nrutnl fstf *umnfzfu, cnrf n pfdfpsftf pf cupnnn %n ln fnfcnrf ucnznf numnn pusnnnl n n nrunc ln sfrnt pf cfn mnn muln n fucul !fnnc. n ln u nsfmfnfn fnnn n spunfn !un drng "nt. Fu l-n numn mnn dfgrnn un tnrnn nsftnt df sngf. *nr *umnfzfu nu fstf nn. Fl nu pfdfpsftf nncnudnt! Fl fstf numnn drngustf n nfrtnrf. *uhul sf pfdfpsftf mult mnn mult pf snnf nsun. Fnfcnrf fnpt cunnnf nutumntnc df n urmnrfn n snnf. Fstf nn, cn n cum dnc cnd n mn ulfsc gfnunchnul. Nncn un um nurmnl n-nr !fnn pf ndffn s spun, ncfnstn fstf pfdfnpsn pfntru cdfrfn pf us. Nu, fstf pur n snmplu urmnrfn df ln ncfnstn. n dnc cnd mnn tnrf, ntuncn mn lu,fz tucmnn pncnurul# snu mnn tnrf, ntuncn fstf fl tucmnn rupt. "untf sunt urmrn nfnprntf nlf cdfrnn, fr cn nltcnnf!n s-mn rndunnsc .pfdfnpsn/. Nn stnu lucrurnlf n ln duh. )dfrfn df ln *umnfzfu fstf u grffnl nn df nsfmnnt, fn fncf duhul s sf cufundf ntt df ndnc, c prnn ncfnstn fnfrgnn curnt n duhulun fstf nn df murdrnt n cumprnmnt, c fl cndf dnntr-u stnrf curnt duhu!nncfnsc ntr-u stnrf dn!nznnnl mntfrnnl, cnrf, cn n ln cdfrfn pf us, sf urnfntfnz dup grn!ntntfn grfflnn. Nutumntnc! Numnn prnn ncffn c fnfrgnn fstf murdrnt prnn gndurn. Nn n fust n ln .cdfrfn ngfrnlur/. *umnfzfu n trfnunt dunr .s-n rndncf mnn/, pfntru n cuntrncnrn ntncul duhu!nncfsc. "untf cflflnltf s-nu ntmplnt df ln snnf. $ucnffr n ngfrnn lun n-nu czut nncn fn nmfdnnt n .nnd/, fn .nu nlunfcnt mnn ntn numnn punn n us/. n cn n !un unmfnnn, tut nn nu nntfrprftnt n fn ncfnst cdfrf cn fnnnd u pfdfnps. Fn nu df!fnnt ncpnnn n furnun n nu ncfput, s-$ urnsc pf *umnfzfu, cnrf n-n lu!nt prftnns nn df tnrf. )ffn cf nsfnmn ns urn, n-nm f,plncnt ntr-ndf!r df n. 'rn fstf cfn mnn uns uscnlnnf. )u ct mnn mnrf n df!fnnt urn, cu ntt mnn ndnc s-nu cufundnt duhurnlf n stnrfn lur df uscnlnnf, cu ntt mnn mntfrnnln nu df!fnnt flf. N fust un ndf!rnt .cfrc !ncnus/. )u ct mnn mult ur n!fnu flf, cu ntt mnn mult sf cufundnu, n cu ct mnn ndnc sf cufundnu flf, cu ntt mnn mult l urnu pf *umnfzfu pfntru ncfnst .pfdfnps/. Nndnr, ln %ntnn n fust grffnln cfn mnn mnrf. Fl n fust cfl mnn nprunpf df *umnfzfu. Fl n fust cpftfnnn. Fnnnn lun sf nfl prnn ncfnstn nstzn n cfn mnn uns stnrf df uscnlnnf, cnrf f,nst ntr-ndf!r, n, nstffl, fstf fl cfn mnn cumprnmnt mntfrnf, nfclnntnt cn u pnntr. Fl n df!fnnt punctul cfntrnl mntfrnnl nl pmntulun! *nr *umnfzfu nu n-n lunt putfrfn. *umnfzfu nu n-n lunt nc nnmnun cf!n !rfudnt! *f ncffn pru!nnf fnptul, c $ucnffr fstf nzfstrnt cu u nsfmfnfn putfrf. *umnfzfu n spus u dnt- *nc nm fcut fu !rfudnt u grffnl, ntuncn ncffn, c l-nm crfnt pf $ucnffr prfn dfs!rnt. Ncfnstn nsfnmn ns- Fl nu-n fncf nncn mcnr lun $ucnffr !rfun rfpru! &un tu nflfgf dnmfnsnunfn ncfstfn prupuznnn( Nncn mcnr ncfpturul n tut rul nu fstf cundnmnnt df *umnfzfu. *rngustfn pur n snmplu nu puntf pf nnmfnn s-l cundnmnf! Ncfnstn nu nrf nnmnc dfn fncf cu fnptul, c *umnfzfu n-nr fn ntutputfrnnc. *umnfzfu fstf ntr-ndf!r ntutputfrnnc. *nr ntutputfrnncnn nu puntf tutul, fn nu puntf prucfdn mputrn!n fn nnn! *rngustfn nu puntf ur, nfrtnrfn nu puntf pfdfpsn, nncn chnnr ln tunt .ntutputfrnncnn/. *nc nr n!n unmfnnn ncfnstn tutun n sfrnt u dnt n prufunznmf. *umnfzfu tnf c n $ucnffr sf !n ntunrcf ntr-u zn nnrn ln Fl, n Fl l !n ntmpnnn cu nrnflf dfschnsf. $ucnffr fstf nnumf fnul pnfrdut, dfsprf cnrf Nnsus spunf n plndn $un, n pf cnrf "ntl l !n prnmn cu tunt cnnstfn dup rfntunrcfrfn sn. Numnn c ncfnstn !n durn cu sngurnn nc .!fnncnn/, dnr *umnfzfu nu gndftf n urf n znlf. Fl gndftf n .durntf df tnmp df crfnnf/, pf cnrf nun nu nn lf putfm nchnpun. Mumfntnn, n urncf cnz, fstf %ntnn punctul dnn cfntru nl pmntulun n stpnnturul pmntulun. Nnmfnn nu sf puntf sustrngf df ln uscnlnnnlf snlf. n dnn ncfnst cnuz fstf fnptul, c nu pun fn nfutru pf pmnt. )nnf fstf nfutru pf pmnt, .dfschns lumfsc/, cum sf spunf nn df frumus, fstf pus prnn ncfnstn nutumntnc sun sffrn df nnflufnn n lun %ntnn. Fstf f,nct nn, cn n cum tu tf-nn ducf ntr-un turfnt df flu!nu sprf u cnscnd. Nncn n ncfst cnz tu nu pun rmnf nfutru, cn tu trfnunf s !slftn mputrn! cu tunt furn, cn s n ungn ln mnlul prutfctur n s nu fnn trns df cnscnd n ndnc. )nnf rmnf nfutru, fstf cuprnns df uscnlnnnlf lun %ntnn n fstf u unfnlt n u !nctnm supus n urfn snlf mputrn!n lun *umnfzfu. "u nsun nn trfcut prnn ncfnstn . Ntuncn cnd dup munrtfn tntlun tu nn ncftnt s tf urnfntfzn nctn! sprf *umnfzfu n cu nntfnnf s trnftn cuntnfnt drngustfn

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n s-$ nunftn pf *umnfzfu, ntuncn nn nntrnt tu nutumntnc n !rtf ul lun %ntnn, cnrf tf ntncnsf cu dunnnlf snlf n tf furnsf nstffl df ln cunfctnrfn tn cu *umnfzfu. "u nn df!fnnt u mnngf df uc nl lun %ntnn, nu pfntru c tf-nn pus nctn! n cuntnfnt df pnrtfn lun - dnc nn fn fcut tu ncfnstn, nu n-nr fn rfunt ntunrcfrfn tn nncn pf dfpnrtf nn df uur - , cn numnn prnn ncffn, c nn ncftnt s-l nunftn pf *umnfzfu ntr-un mud nctn!. Nfutrnlntntf nr putfn fn prunnnnl pf stflf, pf pmnt, fn nu f,nst. )nnf nu fstf pfntru *umnfzfu, fstf mputrn!n $un. Nncn nu fstf pfntru ncfnstn ndfn uns, s tf nn df un *umnfzfu nfpfrsunnl, cnrf st undf!n n ndncurnlf unn!frsulun n n crfnt tuntf dnn ncfputurn n tf pumfnftn c nc Fl nsun n pus rul n nnnflf n lumf, cn unmfnnn s sf punt dfcndf lnnfrn pfntru unn snu cfnlnlt! 'nnn mfrg chnnr nn df dfpnrtf df n spunf, c fnnnn *umnfzfu nr cunnnf df n tut nnnflf n rul, *umnfzfu nf-nr fn numnn prnn ncffn supfrnur, c nnnflf nr fn nnut ln Fl supfrnurntntfn. %nu fn l cunsndfr pf *umnfzfu, cn fnnnd .f,pluznn dnn ncfputurn/, prnn cnrf ntuncn n dfcursul tnmpulun snu furmnt tuntf. Mnlnnrdf df mutnnn Aschnmnrn nlf gfnflur, cnrf slu fsc cn mudfl pfntru cflulB nr fn nfcfsnrf, pfntru n n ungf df ln mntfrnn fr !nn ln lumfn plnntflur n ln lumfn snmpl n nnnmnlflur, nltf mnlnnrdf pfntru n n ungf df ln lumfn nnnmnlflur snmpl ln ncfn mnn nnlt n nnnmnlflur n nfnumrntf mnlnnrdf, pfntru n n ungf df ln cfl mnn f!ulunt nnnmnl ln um. Nntr-ndf!r sunt mutnnn cunstntf pfrmnnfnt. *nn u sut sunt nuuzfcnnnuu fr sfns snu duntunrf n duc urn ln munrtf - cnncfrul d. F,. fstf chnnr unn dnntrf ncfstfn - , snu flf sunt nnrn suspfndntf df ctrf nntur. 'nn dnntr-u sut fstf nngfnnuns n sfr!ftf cfl mnn ndfsfn ln ndnptnrfn ln un mfdnu ncun urtur schnmnnt. Nln dnnn df f,fmplu ln schnmnnrfn unncfnulun lur nnturnl, snu pncnunrf mnn lungn n mnn nun, dnc fstf nfcfsnr, snu u nlnn mnn gruns, ntuncn cnd clnmn sf schnmn. Nncn u snngur schnmnnrf nu s-n ntmplnt ln !un n ultnmnn mnn df nnn, cnrf fr fn prfsupus dunr trfcfrfn df ln u fnz ln cfnlnlt. Nncn cfn mnn mnc schnmnnrf n ncfst dumfnnu nu sf puntf du!fdn. *nr n nnnn dnn-nnnntf, s fnn f,nstnt, unrf, mnlnnrdf df schnmnrn ffncnfntf( Ncfnst tfurnf sf nnzfnz n mnrf pnrtf pf dfscupfrnrnlf unsflur prf nsturncf, cnrf df unncfn dnspnr fr prfn mnrf glgnf n .nsturnn pu!fstnt df lumfn mult untnt/, cnd sf dfscupfr fnlsul, snu df f,fmplu cnd dnntflf snngur, dnn cnrf sf rfcunstrunftf un ntrfg schflft umnn cu tuntf unsflf n nndncnnlf snlf, n ln sfrnt sf du!fdftf c n fust tutun un dnntf df purc A!B! )unstrucnn rnhntnc n dffurmnt n nfnndfrtnlfrulun - unnn pruffsurn nu unsfr!nt cu drfpt - trfnunf s nn cn u du!nd ffrm pfntru pru!fnnfnn umulun cnrf sf trngf dnn mnnmu, nnr ncfst fnpt fstf u .cunncndfn/. Ncfnst du!nd nr trfnun s-$ fnc dnspfnsnnnl pf *umnfzfu, ccn dnc tutul s-n ntmplnt prnn .cunncndfnn/ mutnlrnn, ntuncn sf puntf s rfnunm ln Fl. n ncfnst tfurnf mnn fstf n nstzn !nlnnnl, cu tuntf c *nrDnn, nn!fntnturul fn, n n!ut dunnn ln sfrntul !nfnn snlf. Nnmnc, nncn cfl mnn mnc gruntf nu n fust nfnnnnt dnn grffnl! "unt crfnnn mntfrnnl fstf u cupnf fndfl n spnrntunlulun. Fn fstf gndnt pn n nmnunt n fulusftf dunr pfntru cnptul fnnnl n mnrf, dfunrfcf tutul cf n fust crfnt trfnunf s n ung nnpun ln "ntl. *nc nu mnn fstf nf!unf df u spfcnf, ntuncn ncfnstn dnspnrf# ccn nltffl nr mpnfdncn dunr. *nr dnc fstf nf!unf df u spfcnf nuu, ntuncn ncfnstn sf dfz!ult cunfurm plnnulun. *nr nncnudnt dnn grffnl! )nnf nu-$ mnn !fdf pf *umnfzfu cn u pfrsunn, cnnf nu mnn fstf n stnrf, s-$ rfcununsc cn pf un "nt nunntur, ncfln n pnfrdut df n pf umtntf. )cn cum n putfn fu s nunfsc u putfrf df !fcn, . un )f!n nfcunuscut/, df cnrf tnu ntr-ndf!r, c m-n crfnt cn n tut cf f,nst, cnrf ns ncfpf s plnfnsc tutul, fr mnl, fr n utur% sf untf umul, cum nfsf dnn ncfnst mnzfrnf, fl snngur n prncnnunt ncfnstn! Ncfstn nu mnn fstf un *umnfzfu, cnrf puntf fn nunnt! )fl mult un nnnmnl df !fcn, df cnrf trfnunf s tf ffrftn! $n un nstffl df *umnfzfu n fn df!fnnt df n df mult tnmp un drnc. "untf ncfstf tfzf lf-n mprtnnt %ntnnn n lumf, ccn cu ct mnn dfpnrtf fstf *umnfzfu dnn cuntnnnn umulun, cu ntt mnn grfn df!nnf lfgturn cu Fl n cu ntt mnn mnrf putfrfn lun %ntnnn. F,nct nn n rfunt fl, s nlungf dnn cuntnnnn unur unmfnn ngfrnn. )um put fu s cfr cun!n n uturul, df cnrf fu crfd, c fl nncn nu f,nst( Ncfnstn fstf ntr-ndf!r un .lucru dnn!ulfsc/. n mnrfn lu!ntur n-n rfunt df nnnn n ultnmnn nnn, ntuncn cnd n rfunt s sf dfclnrf nnf,nstfnt!&fntru ncfnst upfr df nrt mfrnt fl df fnpt tunt rfcununtfrfn. )um m put spfrnn fu df cnnf!n snu cum m put ffrn, df cnrf crfd, c df fnpt nu f,nst( *nc nu mnn f,nst dnn!ulul, nu mnn trfnunf s-mn fnf frnc df fl, snu nu( Fu nu trfnunf s m ffrfsc! Fu put s rfnun n ln furn mrfn n lun *umnfzfu. )cn un dnn!ul, cnrf !rfn s m ndfprtfzf df fl, nu f,nst df fnpt! Ncfst lucru fstf ntr-ndf!r dur! n umfnnrfn crfdf cu cuntnnnn mpcnt. *nc nn putfn !fdfn, cum sf nucur %ntnnn, cum n nntf uc df ncftn dunntucn, !un nn rfnunn ln tuntf nnt ucurnlf. Nu! *nn!ulul fstf nn df rfnl cn tu n fu. *fcn nu tf chnunn mnn dfpnrtf, c tf-nn lsnt prnns n cnpcnnn sn. 'n pns grfnt pun fncf pf drumul tu sprf *umnfzfu, tu nn !unf n s cnzn, dnr nu nn !unf s rmn pf us! )fn mnn muln sfnnn nu nu fust unmfnn mnn nnln. )hnnr n fn nu fcut un pns grfnt. *nr fn s-nu rndncnt tut tnmpul dnn nuu. 'mnln n plnnn df drngustf. Nnmfnn nu sf puntf sustrngf pf pmnt df nnflufnn lun %ntnnn. %ntnnn l-n nspntnt dunr n pf Nnsus 7rnstus. Fl nu n rfunt, dnr nu l-nr fn nspntnt, dnc nu nr fn n!ut nncn u nns. Nncn %ntnnn nu fncf !rfun pns nfgndnt. Ncfnstn n fust mnrfn fnpt n lun *umnfzfu , c nu n !fnnt cn un *umnfzfu pf pmnt, cn cn un ndf!rnt um. F,nst dunr punnn cnrf sunt n stnrf, s nflfng dnmfnsnunfn rfnl n ncfstfn fnptf. %f spunf nn- Nnsus 7rnstus nr fn putut pnfrdf! )n fnfcnrf um nr fn putut s nccfptf nspntflf %ntnnfn# ntuncn nu n-nr fn rfzul!nt mnsnunfn, n %ntnnn nr fn fust ctngturul! )f nr fn nsfmnnt ncfst lucru, nu putfn s ! mngnnnn! N fust un rnsc fnurm df mnrf, cnrf l-n nccfptnt Nnsus. Nnsus n rnscnt tutul - n n ctngnt tutul. Fl n rfunt! Fl n df!fnnt pudul ntrf "ntl n unmfnn. Fl putfn nfnrmn cu drfptntf- Fu sunt cnlfn! *umnfzfu nsun n dnt chfnn unmfnnnlur pfntru mprnn %n. *nr nu cu putfrfn ntutputfrnnc n *umnfzfntnn $un. Nu, umnl n-n urmnt lfgnlf pruprnn, s-n zntut cn um prnn nurunnnn dfns df rutntf sntnnnc, prnn mnncnun, nflcnunf n nspntf n prnn ncfnstn n putut Fl s snmt ntrfg rfpfrturnul n rulun pn ln nrutnlntntfn f,tfrnunr. Nn cum n fust df nfclnntnt, n putut s nn chfnlf dnn mnn %ntnnfn. Fnfcnrf um nrf n mnnnlf snlf

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chfnlf pfntru mprnn lun *umnfzfu. *nr drumul pn nculu, trfnunf s-l mfnrg fnfcnrf snngur! Fstf ncflnn drum, pf cnrf n mfrs n Nnsus 7rnstus- prnn nurunnnn rutnn sntnnncf, prnn nflcnunn, mnncnun n nspntf. Nncn ununn, cnrf !rfn s ctngf cfl mnn nnlt truffu, nu fstf scutnt df ncfstfn. &nn grfnn n grffln - sunt nurmnlf pf ncfst drum, n nnmfnn nu !n fncf !rfun rfpru. *umnfzfu tnf ncfstf grfutn, Fl nsun lf-n trnt! Fl nu snmtf nncnudnt furnf snu suprnrf. 2spunsurnlf %nlf sunt mnln, nflfgfrfn n rndnrfn. Nnsus fstf cnpnnnl s snmt, s suffrf mprfun cu tnnf, dnr nncnudnt nu !n udfcn. *rngustfn %n fstf mnlustn!nrfn f,nct ntt df nfmrgnnnt cum fstf Fl nsun. Fn mulumnt c nn n!ut !unf s trnftn ncfnst f,pfrnfn. "u !fn n!fn pf !nntur mnn mult grn n nu tf !fn schnmnn prfn uur. n tu !fn ncfrcn s nu mnn fn nn df ncrfzut n !fn ncfrcn s df!nn ct mnn umnl. *rngustfn n umnlnnn tf !ur scutn pf !nntur df nstffl df f,pfrnfnf. *umnfzfu nu tf-n cundus sprf nspnt, dnr Fl n ngdunt tuntf ncfstfn n n-n dnt nnsn s tf gndftn ln tnmp, nnnntf cn s df!n prfn sngur df tnnf, c s nu mnn fn putut !fdfn ntrfg ndf!rul. N urmnt u tcfrf ndflungnt. Fu mn-m rugnt n n-nm mulumnt lun *umnfzfu, c m-n dfsclcnt nf!tmnt, n c nm n!ut !unf s n! nttfn lucrurn. )nnf crfzn tu c tf-n snl!nt, dnn mnrnnrfn tn cu $ucnffr( Mnchnfl n ntrfrupt !nsflf mflf. *n - *umnfzfu, nnnfnflfs! Ndf!rnt, *umnfzfu fstf ncfputul, Fl fstf rspunztur pfntru tutul n pfstf tuntf. *nr Fl nu nfptunftf nncnudnt dnrfct pf pmnt. Fl n nfnnnnt n putfrfn %n mnrf lfgn cnrf !ur fn tut tnmpul n n ntrfgnmf !nlnnnlf, n pf cnrf nncn Fl nu lf ngnur. &rnn ncfnstn nu puntf un duh - dfcn n *umnfzfu - s nfptunnsc cf!n dnrfct n mntfrnf. *umnfzfu fstf dfntnstul, dnr cn s punt s scunt u msfn fstf nf!unf df un clftf, df u unfnlt. n cu tuntf c nu n-nr trfcf nnmnun prnn cnp, s n mulumfnsc clftflun, c n-n trns ntt df f,trnurdnnnr msfnun, fstf tutun nfcfsnr, ccn nncn cfl mnn nun dfntnst nu puntf fncf nnmnc fr fl. Nn nrf nf!unf n *umnfzfu df u unfnlt, ntuncn cnd Fl !rfn s nfptunnsc cf!n pf pmnt. 2ugcnunfn n mfdntnnn dfschnd drumul pfntru ncfnstn. Ntuncn nn fust tu( Nu! Mnchnfl n rs. n fu sunt un duh pur, n nu put fncf nnmnc dnrfct pf pmnt. Fu put s-n strfcur gndurn n put s tf cunduc n lnnntf pf drmul tu n prnn ncfnstn s tf mnn ndrfpt. Fu sunt n stnrf, s tf scutfsc df rflf, dnc tu trnftn pf ncffnn lungnmf cn mnnf n dnc m rugn. *nr n ncfnst sntunnf nu nn !rut s tnn nnmnc df mnnf. Nu, n fust Nnnndn 2nmn, cnrf tf-n flnnfrnt. "u n nducn nmnntf- Mnmn tn l-n !nsnt, n dunr cu mnrf ffurt n-nn pu!fstnt tu df fl. Ncfln, cnrf tf-n mpnns sprf ncfnstn, nm fust fu. *fcn, mnmn tn n fust ln Nnnndn n n-n pu!fstnt df stnrfn tn. Nnnndn s-n ucupnt df ndnt df tnnf. Fl n prfgtnt spnrntunl drumul, n rfunt, cn tu s n ungn n spntnl lng ncfn unmfnn, cnrf n-nu dfschns n sfrnt uchnn. Fl tf-n prutf nt df putfrnlf rflf, lf-n nnut dfpnrtf df tnnf. n fl tf-n prfdnt pf mnnnlf mflf, ntuncn cnd tu nn strngnt ln cfn mnn mnrf nnnnghnf dup mnnf. Nnr n urmnt u pnuz lung, cnrf mn-n fulusnt, s rfcfpnunfz cu snmul, dfunrfcf crfnfrul mfu funrtf mnc nu frn n stnrf. Nun sttfnm lng un mnc lnc, nruntflf cntnu, lnnflulflf znurnu n urul mfu, u !npfr sf trn lng mnnf prnn nnrn. 'rmnd un nmpuls, nm mngnnt-u. Fn mn-n mulumnt n s-n pus lng mnnf. Frn mnnunnt. ' nrunsc srfn, n pfntru prnmn unr nm unsf!nt- tuntf nnnmnlflf trnnu mprfun n lnnntf! Nncn unul nu sf dfrnn n pf nltul, nu sf mncnu rfcnpruc. )um sf hrnfsc ncfstf nnnmnlf( l-nm ntrfnnt fu pf Mnchnfl. Flf nu nu nf!unf df hrnn, Nncn nun nu n!fm nf!unf df hrnn. Nun trnm dnn ncfn lumnn n dnn putfrfn lun *umnfzfu, cnrf nf ncun unr pfrmnnfnt. )u tuntf ncfstfn mnn mncm n nun dnn cnd n cnd ctf cf!n. *f unncfn mncm fructf, cnrf sunt cultn!ntf n grdnnn spfcnnl nmfnn ntf. Flf ns nu nu rulul s nf ntrfnsc trupul. Nun mncm mprfun dnn cnuzn cumpnnnfn, dfunrfcf stm cu tunn mprfun. )hnnr n nnnmnlflf mnn mnnc dnn cnd n cnd fructf. % umunrf, cn s suprn!nfunnsc, ncfst lucru f,nst dunr dfpnrtf df *umnfzfu n nu sf mnn ntmpl ln fnnnf mnn nnltf. &fntru prnm unr, df mult tnmp ncuncf, nm fust fu dnn nuu ffrncnt. Fu nm stnt ct mnn nprunpf df nsunturul mfu n nm ndurmnt ndnc, cundus df sunftflf mnnunntf nlf psrnlur n df zgumutul prnftfnus nl !npfrfn. *fudnt n nprut tntn n fnn mfn. Fu nu nm putut s !urnfnsc df nttn nucurnf, lncrnmn curgfnu pfstf chnpul mfu, ntuncn cnd fu m-nm nflnt n nrnflf snlf. "u prustu mnc! )um nn putut dunr s crfzn u clnp, c fu tf-nm prsnt( Fu nu tf !un prsn nncnudnt, nttn tnmp ct !n durn !fnncnn. Fu mn-nm tfrmnnnt lucrul pf pmnt. Fu nm dnt drumul ln multf ln!nnf mncn. &f ntuncn nu prfn nm snmnt mult dnn ncfstfn. Fu frnm dfsfurn trnst n dnspfrnt, m-nm pus pf mnnf nsumn sun sfmnul ntrfnrnn. *nr df nncn put funrtf nnnf s lf !d dfz!ultnrfn. 'nflf nu df!fnnt ln!nnf ndf!rntf, nltflf mnn nu nf!unf df tnmp. Nltflf puntf nu nf!unf df funrtf mult tnmp. *nr nncn mfrgf nltffl tnmpul, n nfrndnrf f,nst dunr pf pmnt. Fu mn-nm tfrmnnnt lucrul pf pmnt. Fu nm sfmnnt rsndul mfu, s strupfsc n s lf rrfsc put df nncn mult mnn nnnf. Fu sunt nucurus n mulumnt, c "ntl nustru m-n lunt nnpun. Fu .lucrfz/ nncn mnn mult dfct nnnntf pf pmnt. *nr lucrul nncn nu fstf unusntur. % nn !unf s lucrfzn nncn fstf u nucurnf mnrf. Nncn nu fstf nnmfnn nf!unt cn s nnn succfs. Nncn dumnn pncfn n ffrncnrfn, nn cum nu s-nr putfn msurn ncfstf lucrurn pf pmnt. Nmn pnrf ru tnt, c nm fust df nfcunsulnt, c nm durnt s tf nturcn. Ncum m nucur mprfun cu tnnf, c nn n!ut !unf s plfcn. "f rug frumus s m nfrn. Fu nu trfnunf s-n nfrt nnmnc. "f rug s m scuzn tu pf mnnf, c tf-nm prsnt nn, dnn sfnnn. *nr fu crfd, c n pf !nntur !um putfn pftrfcf dfstul tnmp mprfun. Fu stnu n nn tut tnmpul lng tnnf, ln ffl cn n Mnchnfl.

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"u nn n uns df n funrtf dfpnrtf, n nu mnn fstf nf!unf df prfn multf, n !fn putfn fn nncn ln nun, ntuncn cnd tu durftn ncfnstn. Mnchnfl n !n putfn spunf mnn multf. Fu m nucur, c nu mnn ftn trnst. "f nunfsc. %uccfs, pf curnd. Fu m nflnm nc n nrnflf lun Mnchnfl. Fu nm !nsnt cu tntn. Mnchnfl n rs. "u nu nn !nsnt! $n nun nu f,nst nncn un ffl df tnmp snu spnnu. "u ftn nutumnt nculu, undf !rfn s fn. n-n fust dur df tntl tu n nn fust ntr-ndf!r ln fl. )u tuntf c fl sf nfl l cn!n nnn lumnn dnstnn. Nu nn unsfr!nt tu dnffrfnn( Nculu f,nst u cu tutul nltffl df !fgftnnf. Mnn punnf flurn, mnn punnf nnnmnlf pf pmnt, dnr n schnmn f,nst nfnumrnn cupncn nnln n psrn mnrn. &fnsn ul frn muntus, n cumpnrnnf cu cf frn nncn. *n - ncum mn nducfnm nmnntf. Nun nm mfrs s nf plnmnm dfpnrtf sun nntf snlcnn fnurmf, cnrf prfnu n fn un ncupfrn pfstf drumul nustru. n tutun nu n fust nncnundf ntunfrnc. $umnnn prfn s !nn df pfstf tut, chnnr n dnn pmnt. Nun nm urcnt n nm cunurt nfspus df multf dfnlurn n tutun nu n df!fnnt mfrsul unusntur. +ulturn mrfn lucunnu sus pf !rful muntflun. %f putfnu !fdfn funrtf nnnf. )hnnr n pfntru uchn nu f,nstn !rfu lnmnt. n - fu nm !zut sunrflf! *unr funrtf punn, dunr u rnz mnc pfstf cfl mnn nnlt muntf. *nr fu l-nm !zut. 2uu n fust cfrul n urul lun, cfl mnn frumus rsrnt, pf cnrf fu l-nm !zut !rfudnt. Mnchnfl n rs. Fu crfd c trfnunf s tf ducfm nnpun, ccn nltffl nu !um mnn scpn curnd df tnnf. Mnf nu mn s-n prut ntt df nmuznnt, dnr fu nm tnut c fl n!fn drfptntf. Frn dfstul df grfu, s put s suprn!nfunfsc n !nn. *nr trfnunn. Fu nm ncfput df nnnn ncum s prncfp, df nnnn ncum m-nm trfznt. Mnchnfl n prumns, s m cunduc pn ln cnpt, n - nun mnn n!fm nf!unf df tnnf, n mnn spus fl. Fu nu tnnm, cf !runn fl s spun cu ncfstf cu!nntf. 3 "rfn znlf nn fust nncuntnfnt, cupnlul mfu. Mnmn sttfn lng mnnf n m nnfn df mn. Fu u nunfnm. &fntru prnmn dnt n !nnn mfn putfnm s spun cu nnnmn mpcnt, c fu u nunfnm. Nnnnntf m-n custnt mult ffurt n m-nm snlnt fnurm. Ncum frn funrtf uur. $ncrnmn curgfnu pfstf unrn nn fn. *ucturnn nu !rut df n s rfnunf ln tnnf, dnr fu nm tnut c tu !fn rfun. Nnnndn 2nmn mn-n spus. "u !fn durmn un tnmp ndflungnt n tf !fn trfzn cumplft rffcut. n ntr-ndf!r. Fu nu mnn n!fnm ffnr, fu nu m mnn snmfnm unusnt n f,tfnunt. &fntru ducturn frnm u fnngm. Fn m-nu f,tfrnnt dnn spntnl duu znlf mnn trznu. Mnmn mn-n spus dunr un ultnmn clnp. Fn df nnnn n putut s rustfnsc cu!nntflf. &rnntrf lncrnmn s-n nlnntFu nu put s tf nnu dnn nuu ncns. Fu trfnunf dunr s lucrfz ncum. Frn cn u lu!ntur n fn. *nr df dntn ncfnstn nm putut s nnu sfntnmfntflf df furnf n dfznmgnrf- nncnudnt nu mnn !runnm s m mputrn!fsc, nncnudnt nu mnn durfnm s pun sun sfmnul ntrfnrnn dfstnnul mfu. Nntrndf!r, frn u lu!ntur crunt. *nr fu tnnm n fnptul, c mnmn mfn frn snncfr cu mnnf. &fntru prnmn unr fu nm snmnt, c fn m-nr fn n!ut cu drng prnn prfn m. "rnstffn fn frn ndf!rnt. n nucurnn dnn ncfnst prncnn nr fn trfnunt s nmflnurfzf durfrfn mfn. n ncfst lucru s-n n ntmplnt. Frn unrf ncfst lucru u ln!nn df-n tntlun mfu( Mnmn mn-n prumns n urncf cnz, c m !n !nzntn dfs, c nu m !n lsn snngur. %-n crfnt u sntunnf nuu, n ncfput un nlt cnpntul. Nducfn cu snnf nfsngurnnn, dnr n nun pusnnnlntn. Mnn n!fm nf!unf df tnnf, n spus Mnchnfl. 3 )mnnul nu prfn prfn frumus. ' cldnrf !fchf df crmnzn cu fnndn snnnstr, snmplu, utnl n punn drpnnt. *nr nculu frn lnnntf n dfpnrtf df unmfnn ntr-un pfnsn mnnunnt. Frn ncfputul !frnn, n nun nm trfcut prnntr-u nlff df lnlnfcn pn ln cns. Mnrusul lnlnnculun s-n rspndnt pfstf tut, psrn f,nstnu multf, prfcum n fluturn n flurn. 'n pnrc mnrf cu cupncn ntrnn, n fundnl rul, un ndf!rnt pfnsn nl pnrndnsulun. *nr cf!n nu frn n urdnnf. *f n df ln punrtn prnncnpnl, fu nm unsfr!nt ncfst lucru. Nm df!fnnt nflnnntnt, dnr nu nfrncunt. Fu m-nm mnrnt, dfunrfcf snmfnm nmfdnnt nlt dnt ncfl sfntnmfnt df frnc. n df n nm !zut. Fn sf furnnu n spntflf pumnlur, sf nscundfnu, uculfnu lumnnn. 'mnrflf nu nprut nnrn! %f nflnu n urul cnsfn cn !nfspnn n urul rfgnnfn df stup. Fu nm snmnt mnn lun Mnchnfl pf nrnul mfu. % nu-n fnf frnc, nu put s-n fnc nncn un ru. Fu tnnm ncfst lucru n frnm plnn df ndf df. Nun mnn n!fm nf!unf df tnnf, n spus Mnchnfl. )f n !rut s spun unrf cu ncfnst nfnrmnnf( 0n ncfst cmnn frnu n mnrfn mn urntntf surdu-mun n hnndncnpnn. Mnn f,nstnu n cupnn hnndncnpnn mnntnln, prnntrf ncftnn cn!n mungulunzn. Mungulunsmul fstf df fnpt, c unn dnn gfnf, cnrf fstf rspunztunrf pfntru stnnnlnrfn cflulflur, sf mpnrtf df duu urn, nn c n luc s f,nstf dunr duu nstffl df gfnf, f,nst trfn. 'nmfnnn nutrn df tnnn nu nnnlnznt ncfst dfffct curpurnl pn n cfl mnn mnc dftnlnu. Fn tnu cu f,nctntntf, c fstf !urnn df gfnn duuzfcn n unu, dfunrfcf ncfnst nunl n prnmnt numflf ."rnsumnf 41/. Nnc u nlt mutnlnnf .fr rust/ nr spunf unmfnnn nutrn df tnnn. Nh, dnr dnc nr cfrcftn tut ntt df ntfnt cnuzn spnrntunl, ntuncn puntf c nr n ungf fn ln un rfzultnt. Fu cfl punn nu m !d cn u mutnlnt /fr rust/.

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)mnnul frn cundus df mncuf cntulncf, dnn urdnnul frnncnscnn, nnr ncfstfn lucunn dunr ln cn!n mftrn dfprtnrf ntr-u mnstnrf. *f mnstnrf npnrnnfn u nnsfrnc mnnunnt, cnrf nrtn cn mnnnnturn cntrfdnlfn nnruc, pf cnrf fu nm !zut-u mprfun cu tnt n urn. )u tuntf c pf dnn nfnr prfn dfstul df dfrpnnt, frn n nntfrnur ntr-u stnrf dfstul df nun. 'n mnrf numr df sfnnn ucup lucul df pf zndul f,tfrnur, tn!nnul rutund frn dumnnnt df pncturn, nlf crur culurn nlndf n mntf du!fdfnu c nu nu mnn trfnunt s supurtf df mult tnmp u rfstnurnrf. "utul frn ncrcnt cu urnnmfntf sculptntf, nnr drngustfn sf putfn snmfn pur n snmplu nc, prnn cnrf n fust cunstrunt ncfnst nnsfrnc ntr-u !rfmf, undf mnn f,nstn tnmp, undf *umnfzfu nu frn u fngur sfcundnr, undf Fl frn df fnpt cfntrul !nfnn. 'ndf mnrf mn urntntf n tnmpulun n-n fust dfdncnt $un, undf cnsn %n ntrfcfn nc cflflnltf cnsf n frumusff n mnfstrnf n nu dnn cnuzn utnlntnn n snmplntnn n fnn urncrfn culnnf n fust nfznt n umnr. *nr trfnun s fn fust u !rfmf, n cnrf dumnnn frncn. &ncturnlf pf pfrfn n pf tn!nn lsnu lnmpfdf s sf nflfng ncfst lucru. Frnu stpnntf df mnrflf .*umnfzfu fulgfrtur/, cnrf prfn cu tunt putfrfn %n n cu utnlf %nlf df ngfrn mnn dfgrnn cn un cumnndnnt df lupt, cnrf frn prfgtnt, s nruncf sprf n fn pr nn n nnd pf cfn nfcrfdnncnun. *f pf chnpul multur sfnnn sf putfn !fdfn ncfst fnpt. *nr duu fngurn prfnu plnnf df drngustf, nn cum fstf df fnpt fnnnn lun *umnfzfu- Mnrnn n npustulul Nunn. &f chnpurnlf lur nu sf !fdfn nncn u trstur df frnc. )rucfn dnn ncpfrfn nltnrulun, sun cnrf fn ngfnunchnnu, strlucfn pfstf tuntf. Ntuncn cnd sunrflf dnmnnfnn strlucfn prnn ffrfnstr, lumnnn ntr-u culunrf nurnf n strlucfn ln ffl cn sunrflf pn n cflf mnn ndfprtntf culurn. )hnnr n 7rnstus nsun strlucfn. Fl nu ntrnn cn .murt/ pf crucf, nn cum sf puntf !fdfn dfsfurn. )urpul $un puntf c n fust nfnsuflfnt, dnr Fl strlucfn. Fl n fust ctngturul, Fl n n!nns munrtfn, ndnc munrtfn spnrntunl, nf-n flnnfrnt cu tutul df $ucnffr n n df!fnnt un pud sprf "ntl. Nrtnstul prfn s fn tnut tuntf ncfstfn. )n ntr-u cnrtf sf putfn cntn n ncfst Nnsus. Fl fmnnn u putfrf n u sngurnn, nn cum fu nu nm mnn ntlnnt nn cf!n pn ncum. Nncnudnt nu nm !zut fu n ncfnst nnsfrnc !rfu umnr. Frn df pnrc nr fn fust 7rnstus prfzfnt n prfn pnrc, c pf tun cnrf sf rugnu nncn n ndncfn n !nnrnnnlf %nlf. "unurnlf nrgnntnn dnr tutun mun nlf urgnn mfcnnncf nnruc, cnrf n fn nu n trfnunt s fnf rfstnurnt, nccfntun ncfst fffct n !r fn prc u stnrf nprunpf cfrfnsc. Nncn un tun nf frn prfn tnrf, nncn unul prfn dfplnsnt, nncn un sunft nf ln luculun lun nu dfrnn n slu nn. *rgstus n nlnd sf mncnu ncfstf sunftf prnn ncpfrfn, cnrf susnnfn cu furmn sn !nnrnnnlf n lf rutun fn. )hnnr n cunstrucnn nu n putut s sf cunstrunnsc dnn grffnl. Mnftrnn df cunstrucnf nu tunt prunnnnl ncfstf lucrurn, fn frnu nntrudun n lumfn !nnrnnnlur n n nrmunnfn. Nncn un cul nu dnstrugfn !nnrnnnlf rugcnunnn. Furmn frn ntt df pfrffct cn u mnu. %f nsfmnnu !nnrnnnlf nrmunncf, cu cflf cnrf lf-nm trnt fu dfsurn cu Mnchnfl. Nncnundf nu nm fust fu pf pmnt mnn ffrncnt dfct n ncfnst nnsfrnc. )u tutul nltffl frn n cmnn. Muln frnu ncun urnn df umnrf, cnrf sf nnfnu dup fn cn lnpnturnlf n n nsufnu zn n nunptf. %cfnn frn ct sf puntf df grunznnc. Fu frnm funrtf spfrnnt dnn ncfnst cnuz, dfunrfcf pn ncum fu nu nm mnn putut unsfr!n nstffl df lucrurn. &n ncum nm putut dunr s snmt, dnc un um fmnnn !nnrnnn nunf snu rflf. Ncum trfnunn s rfcunusc, c dfsurn frnu ncfstf umnrf, cnrf schnmnnu !nnrnnnlf. )u ct mnn multf frnu n urul unun um, cu ntt mnn mult m snmfnm rfspnns df fl, cu ntt mnn tnrf m nnmfrnu !nnrnnnlf snlf, cu tuntf c umnrflf nu prfnu nncnudnt c !ur s m ntncf pf mnnf. 'mnrflf prfnu, c nncn nu sf nntfrfsfnz df mnnf. Multf dnn sururn frnu drguf, dnr f,nstnu dunr duu, cnrf m-nu nccfptnt pf mnnf ntru tutul, nn cum n fcut-u surn Nfnfdnctn. Ncfstf duu sururn frnu n flf lnnfrf df nstffl df umnrf. +nnrnnnlf lur frnu dfschnsf n purf. Nculu undf frnu flf, rspndfnu lnnntfn n pncfn. )hnnr n cupnnn, cnrf frnu tut tnmpul nflnnntnn, rfncnunnu ln ncfstf !nnrnnn. 0n prfzfnn lur nu prfn f,nstn cfnrt snu nfnflfgfrn, flf lf nmflnurnu df n df ln ncfput. Nu n susnnfnu nncnudnt drfptntfn, flf nu trfnunnu s fnf n!nngtunrf ntr-u cfnrt, putfnu s sf rftrng umnlf, fr s pnnrd n fnn lur nsun fnn. Frnu ntt df tnrn n snnf, c nu mnn lf frn nfcfsnr nnmnc dnn f,tfrnur. )u tnmpul, cnd fu putfnm df n s m unt mnn ndnc n nnmnlf lur, tnnm n mutn!ulNdnc n nntfrnurul lur nrdfn u lumnn, cnrf strlucfn pfstf tut nuntrul. Ncfn lumnn frn nsun 7rnstus. Flf snu prfdnt cu tutul n ncfn lumnn, nu prnmnt-u fr fzntrn. &rnn fnptul c ful pruprnul , pruprnnlf lur durnnf lfnu nnunt, putfn s strlucfnsc ntt df tnrf ncfnst lumnn. Flf nu rfnunnt ln tutul, nu mnn frnu prnnsf df nnmnc. Nnnnn, mnrcmnntfn, mncnrfn, prfstngnul, fnnmn, durnnf lumftn, lf tuntf lf-nu dnt drumul n prnn ncfnstn nu ctngnt flf cu mult mnn mult. Flf n!fnu !unf s sf tupfnsc cu fnnnn ncflfn lumnnn. Flf nu mnn trfnunnu s cuntrulfzf sfntnmfntflf df ur, furnf n suprnrf. Ncfstf sfntnmfntf nncn nu mnn f,nstnu n flf, nu mnn gsfnu nnmnc, n cnrf s punt lucun. Nn nu df!fnnt ncfstf duu surf nsun drngustfn. $nnntfn ndnc, nntfrnunr n sngurnnn frnu dfstul sprn nn, flf nu mnn n!fnu nf!unf df nltcf!n n frnu lnnfrf prnn ncfnstn, s drunnsc tutul, s fmnnf fr ntrfruprf drngustfn lur. Ndf!rntn drngustf nu fstf cn u lumnnrf, cnrf sf cunsum n sf sncrnfnc. $umnnn drngustfn strlucftf prnn drunrf dunr mnn tnrf. *f!nnf cn un sunrf cnrf nu sf stnngf nncnudnt, cnrf crftf tut tnmpul n df!nnf mnn strlucntur, sf hrnftf dnn lumnnn !fnnc, dnn sunrflf df !fcn n lun *umnfzfu. *rngustfn ncfstur surf nu sf rftrgfn nncn df ln cfn, cf trfnunnu s trnnsc cu nttfn umnrf n urul lur. Nu sf rftrgfnu df lng ncftnn. Nu trfnunnu s sf npfrf n nntfrnur, flf putfnu nnsunrnf ncflf ngrfsnunn n putfnu s lf trnnsfurmf n drngustf. n df fnfcnrf dnt sf cutrfmurnu ncflf umnrf, n pnfrdfnu fchnlnnrul n pncnu n ndncurn snu frnu dntf ln u pnrtf. Mn urntntfn dnntrf cflflnltf surf frnu n flf drguf n prnftfnunsf. Frnu tut tnmpul prfgtntf cn s n utf n s nlnnf. N df!fnnt slu nn lur, s nnn grn df nun, n nuu nu nf lnpsfn nnsulut nnmnc. Flf fcfnu tutul cf putfnu. *nr frn dnfncnl pfntru flf, s fnf tunt znun drguf. 'nflf frnu cfl punn mnn nnnf prutf ntf. %pnnul lur df

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fnfrgnf rmnfn cfl punn stnnnl. Ngrfsnunfn snu suprnrfn sf uprfn nculu cn ntr-u uglnnd, dnr nu frnu schnmnntf n drngustf, cn rmnfnu cn u fnfrgnf nfgntn! n ncpfrf. *nr mn urntntfn dnntrf ncflf surf nu n!fnu ncfnst prutfcnf. )mpul lur df fnfrgnf nu frn stnnnl, frn cn u tun df mnnn, cnrf n!fn u gnur. 'mnrflf nnsurnfnu tutul cu mnrf puft. %f putfn !fdfn tut tnmpul un ru df fnfrgnf, cnrf cn un curdun umnnlncnl spnrntunl sf ntnndfn prnn ncpfrf. n nu numnn pruprnnlf umnrf frnu prfzfntf cn nntf mncn !nmpnrn, n cflf nlf cupnnnlur sttfnu n nnsurnfnu tutul cu mnrf puft. Flf prfnu s crfnsc n prfnu s df!nn cum!n mnn ngrfsn!f, mnn !nn n ncfpfnu s trncnsfzf cupnnn n mnn tnrf. Nn sf nfnnnn u sntunnf pnrndu,, c n urul unfn surf nmnnnlf frn dunr nflnnntf, cfnrt n nn!ndnf. Ncflf surf frnu .mncntf/ df mfsfrnn lur! 0n ndf!rntul sfns nl cu!ntulun! *nc cun!n n sf nn tut tnmpul fnfrgnn, trfnunf s df!nn unusnt. Ncfstf surf frnu cn nntf lumnrn. n flf fmnnnu lumnn, cldur, dnr sf prpdfnu prnn ncfnstn! Flf nu nu prnmnt n snnf nc lumnnn !fnnc, cnrf pruducf fr pnuz fnfrgnf nuu. $f lnpftf ncrfdfrfn pfntru ncfnstn. $umnnn puntf s-u prnmfnsc dunr ncfln, cnrf n rfnunnt cu tutul ln snnf, cnrf n dnt drumul ln tut cf fstf mntfrnnl. n ncfst nct df munc pruprnf, nfcfsnt mult curn n ncrfdfrf. *nr ntuncn df!nnf dnn crfdnn cununtfrf. Fu crfd n *umnfzfu df!nnf Fu tnu, c "u f,ntn. Ncfstn fstf pnsul cfl mnn nmpurtnnt. Nncunftunrfn, cnrf nchndf ncfn u, fstf frncn! Frncn, s rfnunn ln tutul, pfntru c nu sf tnf, c mnn trznu nu stnn pur n snmplu n pustnu, snngur n prsnt. Frncn, s rfnunn ln pruprnul tu Fu, pfntru c nu sf tnf, cf sf prnmftf n schnmn. Frncn, s rfnunn ln !nznnnlul mntfrnnl, pfntru c nu fstf df ncrfdfrf cf!n cf nu sf !fdf, spnrntunlul, dfunrfcf nu sf puntf !fdfn. Frncn, c nu !n f,nstn tutun un *umnfzfu! Ncfnstn fstf rscrucfn nmpurtnnt n f,nstfnfn nunstrf. Ntuncn cnd nun nm n uns ln u, nu nf mnn puntf n utn nnmfnn. Nun nnnf, n dunr nun, putfm n trfnunf s dfschndfm ncfn ncunftunrf. Fnfcnrf, cnrf cnut, fstf cundus pn nncn, fnfcnrf, cnrf cfrf, nu trfnunf s mfnrg snngur ncfst drum. *nr ncfn nchunftunrf, trfnunf s-u dfschnd snngur. Fr n utur! Fl nsun trfnunf s-n n!nng tfnmn. Fl trfnunf s spun- *n, fu crfd, fu tnu, c "u f,ntn! Fu tnu c "u f,ntn n fu tnu c "u ftn funrtf nun. Fu tnu! Nu, pfntru c tf-nm !zut, nu, pfntru fnptul c mn-nn nrtnt mnnunnn, nu, pfntru c "u nu mn-nn lsnt prnntr-un mnrncul u nlt nlfgfrf. Nu - fu tnu ncfnstn pur n snmplu, pfntru c snmt, c "u trfnunf s f,ntn, pfntru c fu snmt drngustfn pf cnrf u fmnnn "u. Fu tnu ncfnstn pur n snmplu, n fu tf nunfsc *umnfzfulf! Frncn fstf cfl mnn mnrf nlnnt n lun %ntnnn. Fl u mfnnnf dup putfrnlf snlf, ccn un cnrf fstf nchns dnn ncfnst cnuz, fstf df fnpt punrtn sprf lnnfrtntf, cnrf lns n urmn sn pf !fcn mprnn lun %ntnnn. Ntuncn cnd un sf nchndf n urmn tn, nu mnn nrf fl nncn u putfrf, ncnnflf snlf sunt dunr nrfnlf. Ncfln, cnrf st n fnn unn, fstf cuprnns mnn nc u dnt uur df fl n fstf dnn nuu trns punn n ndncurn. )nd nn trfcut df ncfn u, ntuncn nn rfunt. Muln stnu nnn ntrfgn n fnn ncflfn un. Fn sunt dfstul df putfrnncn, s sf ffrfnsc df ntncurnlf lun %ntnnn, dnr fn nu nu curn ul, s dfschnd ncunftunrfn. $f fstf frnc s rfnunf ln .fgu-ul/ lur, pf cnrf l-nu nprnt cu grn n cnrf lf-n ndus n uchnn lumnn cnnstf n sln!. Fn sf tfm, pfntru c nu put crfdf, c ndf!rntn putfrf sf nfl n duh - trupul sf !fstf ftf n nn n cn!n nnn. *fznmgnn n dfspncnn n nntfrnurul lur sf nturc fn dnn drum, pfsc pf trfptf n us, n cnut ffrncnrfn n sngurnnn mntfrnnl n nu nf!unf ntuncn ndfsfurn df funrtf mult tnmp, pn cf fn n ung nnrn ln prngul duhulun. Fn sf nsfnmn cu u lumnnrf, cnrf nu sf lns nprnns, dnn prncnnn frncnn, c fn sf dnstrugf nstffl. Numnn - ln cf fulusftf fn ntuncn( Fn sf nsfnmn cu u smn df rsnd, cnrf nu sf lns pus n pmnt, pfntru c fn trfnunf ntuncn s rfnunf ln nndfntntntfn fn. *nr tucmnn numnn prnn ncfnstn puntf fn s nduc rundf ultfrnunrf, cnrf punrt !nnn fn mnn dfpnrtf, n cnrf fn puntf s trnnsc spnrntunl mnn dfpnrtf. $n cf fstf fn nltffl df fulus( Fn puntf s sf nn nc cn!n nnn, sf ufnlftf, putrfzftf n munrf ntuncn. Ncfnst murnrf urmfnz, cf-n drfpt, mnn muln nnn mnn trznu, dfct dnc fn nr fn sfmnnt, dnr ncfnst murnrf fstf dffnnntn!. 0ntr-un cnz nducf munrtfn fn !nn nuu ln n!fnl, n cfllnlt cnz fstf fn munrt. %ururnlf ncfstur duu grupurn n lunu putfrfn lur dnn rugcnunf. 2ugcnunfn fstf furmn f,tfrnunr, cnrf fncf pusnnnl cunfctnrfn nntfrnunr cu lumnnn dnn ncfputurn n lun *umnfzfu. Fu putfnm !fdfn ndfsfn, cum uscnlnnnlf rugcnunnn l nfurnu pf dfplnn pf cfl cnrf sf rugn, sf punfnu prutfctur n urul lun. )um flf ptrund trupul pf dfplnn. 'scnlnnnlf nnltf nlf unfn rugcnunn pnsnunntf, cnrf !nnf ntr-ndf!r df ln nnnm, put s trnnsfurmf n sus uscnlnnnlf unsf nlf trupulun ntr-u sffr mult mnn nnlt, .sf lf ndfprtfzf/. 2ugcnunfn curftf uscnlnnn pruprnf, nn nct umul fstf n stnrf, s prfnn fnfrgnn nnlt, curnt n lun *umnfzfu. Fstf f,nct cn n ln rndnuu. 'n npnrnt df rndnu prust nu puntf nnnf dnstnngf frfc!fnflf dnstnnctf, sunt tutdfnunn sunftf sfcundnrf n sunftf df dfrnn df fn. Nntrfngn .murdrnf/ fstf prflunt n nnrn rfdnt. 2ugcnunfn fstf fnltrul df dfsprnrf. )u ct mnn nntfnsn!, cu ct mnn umnl, cu ct mnn plnn df drngustf fstf fn, cu ntt mnn nnnf funcnunfnz fl, cu ct mnn mult .murdrnf/ ndfprtfnz fl prnn fnltru, cu ntt mnn curnt n prfnuns fstf fnfrgnn, pf cnrf u lns fl s trfnc. )t df muln sf mulumfsc cu murdrnn! n sf mnr ntuncn, df cf .muturul/ lur nu funcnunfnz cum trfnunf, df cf sf nlnnf fl cuntnnuu n sf uprftf, df cf trfnunf fn cuntnnuu s mfnrg n .ntflnfrul df rfpnrnnn/, pfntru n-l punf nnrn n funcnunf. Funrtf rfpfdf nm rfcunscut fu, cf nnnfcu!ntnrf fstf rugcnunfn pfntru ncfnn, cnrf crfd n ncfnstn smfrnn n plnnn df ncrfdfrf. n cupnnn, n crur sntunnf frn cfn mnn rfn, nu df!fnnt n tnmpul rugcnunnn cfl mnn ndfsfn funrtf lnnntnn. 'scnlnnn $un n pnrnlnznt umnrflf. Flf mfrgfnu cu tnmpul cn fnnnf f,tfnuntf ln !nctnmflf lur, dn, flf trfnunnu ndfsfn s sf dfprtfzf pf dfplnn. 0n nnsfrncn ncfnstn n mnstnrnn n-nm !zut fu nncnudnt umnrf n cuntrnrnu cu nltf nnsfrncn pf cnrf lf cunutfnm. Furmn fn, fngurnlf fn, nmngnnnlf, nrmunnn, cldurn n prutfcnn fn, pf cnrf fn lf fmnnn, furmn u uscnlnnf ntt df curnt n cumprnmnt - fn frn pfntru umnrf df nfptruns. ' rugcnunf ntr-u nstffl df mprf urnmf fstf nc cu mult mnn ffncnfnt, n sf nmulftf putfnnnl nc u dnt, dnc muln sf rung mprfun. ' uscnlnnf nn df nmfns trfcf pur n snmplu prnn nzulnturul, cnrf sf nfl ntrf um n *umnfzfu,

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curfntul puntf s curg lnnfr. 'n .fnur df fmunf/ sf ducf pf spntf n us. Ncfnstn fstf fnfrgnn cnrf sf rf!nrs n nun prnn culunnn !frtfnrnl, ncfnstn fstf hrnnn duhu!nncfnsc, cnrf nlnmfntfnz cfntrflf nunstrf df fnfrgnf. $n hrnnn fnznc pfntru trupul nustru tnf ncfnstn fnfcnrf- cu ct mnn curnt fstf hrnnn, cu ct mnn punnf sunstnnf df dffurn cunnnf fn, cu ct mnn punn .murdrnf/, cu ntt mnn nun, cu ntt mnn df mnn mnrf !nlunrf fstf fn. "ut nn stnu lucrurnlf n cu .hrnnn duhu!nncfnsc/. Numnn c ncfnstn fstf mult mnn nmpurtnnt pfntru sntntf n pfntru cnpncntntfn df rnndnmfnt, dfct hrnnn trupfnsc. *f cf sf mulumfsc nncn nn df muln cu .murdrnn/( F,nstnu n unflf sururn, cnrf frnu tut tnmpul prust dnspusf, ntrtntf n nunntunrf df cfnrt n fr drngustf. )n mgnrn df crnt ducfnu flf umnrflf lur cu flf. )fl mnn ru frn cnzul ln ndmnnnstrntunrf. Frn u snngur mnsc ntunfcnt, cnrf fnfrnfn nculu n ntfptn, s-n ncurn fzf nnrn !nctnmflf sprf .fnptf/ nun. Ncfstf umnrf nu sunt ntr-ndf!r n stnrf, s nfptunnsc snngurf fnptflf lur rflf. Flf nu nf!unf df cnnf!n, cnrf fncf ncfnstn pfntru flf. "untf mncnlf gfluznn n nntrngn, luptflf sfcrftf pfntru putfrf, dumnnn dfschns n ngrfsnunfn, ur, furnf, mnnf, mnncnun n dnstrugfrf sfr!fsc ncfstur umnrf pfntru sturnrfn snmurnlur lur dfgfnfrntf. Flf sf sntnsfnc n lcumnn !nctnmfn lur n u ndfnmn nfstulf sprf tuntf pntnmnlf n !ncnnlf, nlcul, lcumnf df sn!urnrf, sf,unlntntf n tuntf !nrnnnnlf, dfpfndfn df drugurn n df tnnlftf, tuntf ncfstfn sunt lucrurn, cnrf trnnsfurm fnfrgnn curnt *umnfzfnfnsc n fnfrgnf nfgntn!, dnstrugtunrf. Nu unsfr!, nndnr, ncftn unmfnn df luc, cum fn nu rfnunnt ln lnnfrtntfn lur, cum fn s-nu fcut scln!n - df nun !unf u mnngf df uc nlf putfrnlur rulun( *nc fn nr putfn !fdfn, cum ncfstf umnrf sf nucur df fnfcnrf ncnunf rfunt, lur lf-nr fn ru dnn cnuzn scrnfn! )nnstf n rfnumf, dup ncfstf lucrurn sf strdunftf nstzn ntrfngn lumf, stpnnrf pfstf ct sf puntf df muln nlnn. $n ncfnstn nu nu cfn mnn muln nncn mcnr putfrf pfstf fn nnn. Nuturfnlnznrfn fstf mnrfn df!nz! Ncfnstn sf cnut pfstf tut, n snngurtntf, n dnscutfc, n rn strnnf - nu ln snnf nsun. )um put fu nndnr s m nuturfnlnzfz, dnc funcnunfz cn un runut n urmfz cumnntf tuturur nntrngnlur nlf putfrnlur rulun( Nnmfnn nu lf fstf nfn uturnt lsnt prnd! Fnfcnrf puntf s sf mputrn!fnsc! Nrmflf sunt !unn n rugcnunfn - n ngfrul mfu, cnrf mfrgf tcut nlturn df mnnf n ntfnpt numnn fnptul, cn fu s-n dnu n sfrnt frul !nfnn mflf lun n mn, cn fl s m punt ndrumn n cunducf - nu n scln!ngnf, cum prftnnd ntt df muln nnt ucurnturn, nu- n lnnfrtntf! Numnn c lnnfrtntfn nu nsfnmn, s pun fncf urncf !rfn tu. $nnfrtntfn nsfnmn s pun fncf tutul, cf fstf putrn!nt. +unnn nunstr fstf mult prfn tnrf nnflufnnt dnn tuntf prnlf pusnnnlf. "untf uscnlnnnlf nlf cflurlnln unmfnn n cflf nlf putfrnlur rulun u nnflufnfnz. *f-nnnn cnd nun !um prflun !unn lun *umnfzfu, suntfm nun ntr-ndf!r lnnfrn. Fl pusfd snngurn !unn lnnfr, nfnnflufnnt df tun cfnlnln, n fnfcnrf fstf nstffl cu fl, cnrf fstf dnspus, s nduptf !unn $un. n sururnlf ncfstun ultnm grup sf rugnu, tut nn cn n cflflnltf. 0n f,tfrnur nu frn nncn u dnffrfn df rfmnrcnt. *nr ct df nnnf, c cfn mnn muln nu sf put untn n nnnm! Fstf df nfnchnpunt, ln cf ffl df lucrurn sunt unnn n stnrf s sf gndfnsc pf lng rugcnunf. Nmnrcmnntfn curnt puntf s nscund unflf lucrurn# nmpurtnnt fstf ns, cum nrnt stnrfn pf dfdfsunt. 3 Ncfnstn n fust dfcn nmprf urnmfn mfn nuu pfntru tnmpul urmtur. Fu frnm nnnf ntrfnnut, sururnlf n ddfnu ntr-ndf!r tunt snlnnn. 'nn dnntrf flf m-n n!nt chnnr s n cntfsc. Fn putfn funrtf ndnc s sf trnnspun n nntfrnurul mfu n n unsfr!nt rfpfdf, c fu nr trfnun s fnu n stnrf df ncfnstn. Fu nm n n!nt ncfnstn funrtf rfpfdf, numnn c fu n!fnm tut tnmpul nf!unf df cnnf!n, cnrf s-mn ntunrc pngnnnlf, fnnndc pfntru nn cf!n nu frnu mnnnlf mflf n stnrf. *nr nun frnm u mnrf cumunnntntf, undf fnfcnrf l n utn pf cfllnlt, nn df nnnf pf ct putfn. N fust u mnrf nnugnrf pfntru mnnf. Fu nm unsfr!nt ncun, c multf lucrurn mn frnu pf dfplnn strnnf. *nc nm n!ut pn ncum df n dfstulf ucnznn, s m n! n rndnrf, ntuncn fu trfnunn ncum ntr-ndf!r s nnsul!fsc un curs df mnftrnn. *f fnfcnrf dnt, cnd fu tfrmnnnsfm df cntnt u pngnn, trfnunn fu s ntfpt, pn !fnfn cnnf!n, cnrf mn nturcfn pngnnn. Fu n!fnm, cf-n drfpt, u sunfrnf, cu cnrf m putfnm fncf unsfr!nt, dnr fu nu !runnm n nncn un cnz s-n tnrnnnzfz pf cfnlnln n u fulusfnm numnn n cnzul df strnct nfcfsntntf. Nn nm ntfptnt fu tucmnn df fnfcnrf dnt rndtunrf, pn cf !fnfn cnnf!n, chnnr dnc frn ct sf puntf df nntfrfsnnt# n pfntru mnnf frn tutul nntfrfsnnt. *nr fu tnnm n fnptul, c frn u mnlustn!nrf nfnt dnn cumun, s nm !unf s nnsul!fsc un nsfmfnfn curs nntfnsn! n rndnrf. Fstf cn ln tuntf cflflnltf. Nttn tnmp ct tf nfln nuntru n trfnunf s tf ustfnftn, sunt multf lucrurn snmntf cn fnnnd suprtunrf. *nc ns nn trfcut n nn rfzul!nt u prunlfm, ftn nucurus, c nn nnrunt-u, c nn putut s rfzntn, pfntru n fn mnn nugnt cu u f,pfrnfn. n cu smfrfnnn n mfrs ln ncfput nc funrtf grfu. M custn mult n!nngfrf df snnf, s m lns nfnt, mnrcnt n hrnnt df sururn strnnf, s nccfpt nfn uturnrfn mfn. Funrtf grfu n fust ntuncn, cnd fu cunstntnm ln unflf, c flf fcfnu ncfnstn numnn cu snl, c nstn npnrnnfn, cf-n drfpt, df muncn lur, c sf scrnfnu ns df mnnf. Ncfnstn u puntf unsfr!n df nltffl fnfcnrf. %crnn fstf un funrtf nntfns sfntnmfnt. Ncfnstn nu sf lns nscuns, n nu fstf nf!unf df multf, s pun snmn ncfst sfntnmfnt, n fr s fnn !nznunnr. )hnnr dnc ncfrcnrfn fstf nntfprnns, s u nscunzn n f,tfrnur, ncfnstn fufnz cfl mnn ndfsfn. Nu fstf frumus s snmn, c nlnn sf scrnfsc df tnnf. Ncfnstn fstf nn df umnlntur. *nr cfn mnn muln nu sunt df!nn df ncfst lucru. Fn sunt prnzunnfrn nn sfntnmfntflur lur. )nnf puntf, unrf, s snr pfstf umnrn sn( N fust grfu pfntru mnnf, n nsfmfnfn sntunnn s nu m gndfsc- tu pun, cf-n drfpt, s tf scrnftn df mnnf, n fu trfnunf s m prfdnu nfn uturnt nf, dnr duhu!nncfsc m nflu fu tutun mult pfstf tnnf. $uptf lungn trfnunn fu s n cu mnnf nsumn. *nr, nsfrnt,

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nznutnsfm fu tutun. N fust !ncturnn cfn mnn grfn, dnr cfn mnn nmpurtnnt. )nnf sf nnl pf snnf, sf !n smfrn. Nnsus n-n spus ncfnstn, pfntru n-n nlnntn pf cfn mncn n srncn. Nu - Fl nf-n pus cu ncfnstn unn dnntrf chfnlf sprf mprnn cfrurnlur n mn. Nngmfnrf duhu!nncfnsc fstf cfl mnn ru dumnn pf ncfnst cnlf. Fu nsumn nm trnt ncfnstn. Fstf u f,pfrnfn, pf cnrf fnfcnrf trfnunf s-u fnc udnt, df cnrf nu fstf nnmfnn scutnt. Ncfnstn fstf unn dnntrf cflf mnn nmpurtnntf f,pfrnfnf, dnr dnn pcntf n unn, pf cnrf dfsfurn u unn nnrn funrtf uur. Nngmfnrfn fstf rdncnnn n tut rul. %ntnn n czut, pfntru c fl n df!fnnt ngmfnt. Nngmfnrfn trngf dup snnf nn!ndnn. )nnf fstf ngmfnt, cnrf, dfcn, fstf df prfrfn, c s-nr nfln mnn sus dfct nlnn, ncfln gfnfrfnz nutumntnc sfntnmfntf df nn!ndnf fn df ncfnn, cnrf ucup un pust mnn nnlt. )ffn cf urmfnz fstf ntuncn frncn, frncn, df n fn dfscupfrnt. )nnf l nn!ndnnz pf nltul dnn cnuzn puznnfn snlf sucnnlf, mnnnnn, nnnnlur, ffmfnn lun, n fstf cfl mnn ndfsfn tfnm - chnnr dnc n nncuntnfnt -, cfllnlt nr putfn unsfr!n ncfst lucru n s-nr putfn nprn fn df ncfst lucru. n cflunlnlt n fstf tfnm, c fl puntf snmn uscnlnnnlf nm!ndnfn, n pfntru c fl nng df sfnm, c cf!n nmfnnntur l ntmpnn. Nstffl n fstf ntuncn fnfcrunn frnc fn df cfllnlt, n frncn fstf cfl mnn dnstrugtur sfntnmfnt, cnrf f,nst ntr-ndf!r. Nn cum urn l puntf dnstrugf pf cfllnlt, tut nn tf dnstrugf frncn pf tnnf nsun. &fntru multf nuln fstf frncn cnuzn. n nnfnrctul mnucnrdnc n cnncfrul n nu rdcnnn cfl mnn ndfsfn n frnc. Ncfnstn sf nfl ns ndfsfn nn df ndnc nrdcnnnt n fstf df n nn df .unnnunt/, c fn nu mnn fstf rfcunuscut cn fnnnd nstffl. "untf cflflnltf, n strfsul, ncrcrn nlf mfdnulun nmnnnnt n nn mnn dfpnrtf, sunt numnn fncturn ndnnunnln. Flf mrfsc rnscul, nu sunt ns nncnudnt dfclnnnturul. *f cf sunt mnnngfrnn lu!nn nn df dfs df nnfnrctul df nnnm( %ngur, fn lucrfnz mult, sunt tut tnmpul n hfctnc, sf nfl sun prfsnunf. *nr n nstffl df sntunnn sunt n muln nlnn. Numnn c - lur lf fstf frnc, s nu fnf prfn slnnn pfntru prfsnunfn f,frcntnt, s fufzf n s fnf dnn nfnr dnn slu n. *f cf nu mnn nlfs dfntntnn cutn cfn mnn mnrf df nnfnrcturn df nnnm n nprunpf cfn mnn mnc mfdnf n nnnlur df !nn( Nncn fn nu lucr mnn mult dfct nlnn. %ngur, fn sf nfl sun mpu!rnrfn psnhnc, s fnf nf!unn s-n fnc fnfcrunn trfnnn cum trfnunf, dnr ncfnstn lf mfrgf n multur nlturn tut nn. Nu, fn lucrfnz funrtf nprunpf df pncnfnt - n ncfstunn n fstf tfnm! n ncfnst frnc sf trnnsmntf nsuprn lur, dfunrfcf cfn mnn punnn tnu, cum tf pun prutf n ffncnfnt fn df ncfst lucru. *f cf sf mnuln!fsc nn df muln df cnncfr( Fn sf tfm! Frnc fn df rnzf, frnc fn df sunstnnf nucn!f, frnc fn df ntrnff, fn df n fn snngur, frnc fn df cfnlnln, frnc fn df snnf nsun, frnc fn df tuntf. Fn sf tfm df n fncf cnncfr, n ncfnstn fstf cfn mnn sngur mftud, s tf mnuln!ftn ntr-ndf!r df ncfnst nunl. *f cf ! ngrn urnn nfrncunn df znun df mnnf. Nu mnn n!fn !un nndnr nncn u ncrfdfrf( 'ntnn-! ln psrn, ln nnnmnlf, ln nntur! *nc gnzfln nr fn un um, fn n-nr putfn cu sngurnn s-n scnpf lfulun. Frncn n-nr pnrnlnzn pncnunrflf. *nc pnsrfn nr fn un um, fl nr trfnun s munr df funmf. *f nttn grn , cu cf puntf fl mnnf s sf hrnfnsc, n-nr putfn fl nstzn s znunrf nfnr, pfntru n prnndf nnsfctf. Frncn n d nrnpn!, sun un pru!frn cunuscut. Ncfnstn nu fstf frnc, cn cuntrnrnul ncfstfnn- !unnn df n suprn!nfun. Frncn mpnfdncn numnn, fn nncnudnt nu nnrnpfnz. n frncn dfclnnfnz ntuncn tuntf cflflnltf sfntnmfntf nfgntn!f. *nc fu m nspnmnt df cnnf!n, df!nn fu cu tnmpul furnus nsuprn lun, ncfp s-l ursc. n cffn cf frnc mn prncnnunftf mnf, ncfnstn n-u fnc lun cu urn mfn. n cfllnlt lu!ftf nnpun! Fl sf npr. Fl nu tnf tutun, c fl n ncfput df n prnmul ntnc cu frncn lun, c urn n fust numnn rfncnn nsuprn ncfstun lucru. Fl sf snmtf n drfpt. n dnc cnnf!n tf lu!ftf pf unrnzul drfpt, d-n n cfl stng sprf lu!nrf. $n ncfnstn sf rfffr ncfnst prupuznnf. Nu s tf lnn ntut pn ln munrtf, cum muln nrunnzfnz, schnmnul duhu!nncfsc df lu!nturn trfnunf s-l sfrftn. % nu rspunzn ln ur cu ur, cn s-u prfnfn, s-u trnnsfurmn n s-u trmnn nnpun cn drngustf. Ntuncn pun tu lnnntnt s nn n cfllnlt unrnz. Nu mnn !nnf nnmnc nnpun. Nunftf-n dumnnnn tn! - nu dnn cnuzn c tu trfnunf s tf ucn nnnn unrnn! "u nncn nu trfnunf s-n nunftn n cnlntntfn lur df dumnnn, cn n cnlntntfn lur cn unmfnn, cnrf sunt tut nn cupnnn lun *umnfzfu cn tnnf, tut nn df prfnun. Nncftfnz df n-n ur, ncfpf s-n nunftn, n urn lur sf !n f!npurn n nnmnc. *nc fn nu mnn fstf nnt, sf mnstunf fn pf snnf nsun cn un fuc, cnrf nu mnn prnmftf hrnn. n, dfudnt, fn nu mnn sunt dumnnnn tn. Grffnln fstf ncffn, c nun nf gndnm n prfn scurtf durntf df tnmp. *nc fu ncftfz nstzn, s-l mnn ursc pf !fcnnul mfu, pf cnrf l-nm cunsndfrnt nnn df-n rndul cn fnnnd dumnnul mfu, ntuncn fl ntr-ndf!r cu grfu m !n mnrnn mnnf. *nr puntf put fu n ctf!n lunn, prunnnnl chnnr n cn!n nnn s dnnlughfz cu fl nnrn nurmnl. &untf c sf dfz!ult dup nnn df znlf chnnr u mnc prnftfnnf dnn ncfnstn. Numnn c - s prunfzn u sptmn df drngustf, n dnc nu rfuftf ntuncn, n-l lnn pf .ntrnul prust/ nnrn nnlt - s !nd fl tutun snngur, undf n ungf fl fr gfnfruzntntfn mfn - ncfnstn nu funcnunfnz! *rngustfn ndf!rnt nu punf cundnnn, nncn ultnmntf. Fn fstf pur n snmplu prfzfnt. Nntutdfnunn! n nsturnn fstf plnn df f,fmplf df ncfst gfn. Mnn df crn s-nr putfn scrnf dfsprf ncfst sunnfct. Ghnndn fstf ntr-ndf!r f,fmplul cfl mnn cunuscut n cfl mnn nmpuntur. Fr nncn u !nulfn, cu nfsfrnt drngustf n rndnrf n-n cundus fl pupurul su n nfnrn nsuprnrnn. Nfgnnnstnn n mfrs pf cfnlnlt cnlf. Ncum fstf un sffrt dnn pupulnnf munrt snu f,nlnt. n rfstul( Fnfcnrf fstf nsfmnnt df nfnurucnrf, df-nnnn gsftn u fnmnlnf fr munrtf, rnnrf, nunl, srncnf, funmftf! % nu lupn, nu nsfnmn- s rfnunn, s nu tf npfrn. Ghnndn n nrtnt ncfnstn. % n nunftn pf !rmnnn tn nu nsfnmn- s tf lnn sun ugnt fr nprnrf! n nrmflf nunnrnn n ut, dnr flf nu rnfsc! Ncfnstn fstf dnffrfnn. %mfrfnnn fstf u cundnnf pfntru ncfst lucru n cfrtntudnnfn nnsulut, c nnmfnn nu-mn puntf lun nnmnc, pfntru c duhul mfu fstf dunr nftrfctur n nn!ulnfrnnnl. n tuntf cflflnltf sunt pf dfplnn nfnmpurtnntf.

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3 Nrugnnn frn ncfputul. Nrugnnn nu sf puntf f,frcntn mult !rfmf! Multf zncnlf cunnn cu mult mnn mult ndf!r, dfct putfm nun s crfdfm. )u tnmpul nm n!nt fu, s rmn n ntuncn umnl, cnnd frn grfu, ntuncn cnd frn !urnn df .umnlnnnf/ ndf!rntf. n fu sunt tutun nucuruns dnn ncfst mutn!, pfntru c nm putut fu s trfc prnn ncfnst cunl. Mn s-nu dfschns pfrspfctn!f nun spnrntunlf, ln cnrf n mud nurmnl nncn nu sf !nsfnz. 'ltnmn unr m-n ntrfnnt Mnchnfl"f-nn gndnt tu !rfudnt, cum nm putut nun s dnscutm( Nprunpf ntutdfnunn nn putut s mn snmn prfzfnn, ctfudnt nn putut s m !fzn snu n ddfnn sfnmn df fnptul c sunt nprunpf. "u nn fust dfschns n prn!nnn mfn, n fu nm putut dfsfurn s-n trnnsnmt un gnd. *nr ntuncn, cnd frnn ntr-ndf!r cu mnnf( &un s-n nmnntftn mprf urrnlf( *n, ln ncfst fnpt fu nncn nu m-nm gndnt, fu ntutdfnunn m-nm trfznt n nrnflf tntlun mfu! *nr - cf n!fn fl df-n fncf cu tuntf ncfstfn( Fl n-n dnt ncfnst pusnnnlntntf. *rngustfn sn pfntru tnnf, fn n fust funrtf putfrnnc. Fn n-n pfrmns u stnrf df !nnrnnf, n cnrf n-n fust pusnnnl, s prsftn curpul tu n s n ungn ln nn!flul nustru. Fr cu!nt fu l-nm prn!nt. %pnrntul fstf ntr-ndf!r un prnnzunnfr nl curpulun, dnr cnd dunrmf ncfstn, puntf spnrntul s-l prsfnsc n puntf nntrn n nn znsn sffr nstrnl. %ffrn nstrnl fstf sffrn spnrntunl, cnrf n fstf curpulun fnznc cfl mnn nprupnnt, ndnc prnn nltf cu!nntf, cfl mnn us nn!fl spnrntunl. *uhul nu dunrmf nncnudnt. $un nu-n trfnunf u pnuz df udnhn cn n curpulun. Nunptf fstf n mnn nctn!, ntuncn cnd puntf s fug dnn strmtunrfn curpulun. Nn sunt n fnfcnrf nunptf muln unmfnn .pf drum/. *unr c dnn mutn!f prfcnsf fstf cunutnnn nchns, n df rfgul nu mnn f,nst nmnntnrn dnmnnfnn. +nsflf nr putfn f,plncn multf, dnc umfnnrfn nu nr fn nn df unrn. Multf !nsf nu sunt hnlucnnnnn n nu pru!nn dnn suncuntnfnt. %unt df fnpt mnn mult nntf trnrn, cnrf sunt ndusf df spnrnt dnn sffrn nstrnl, n cnrf - df multf urn dunr dfzurdunntf n frngmfntntf - n gsfsc drumul n cuntnfntul nustru. Muln nu !nsnt rudf cnrf nu dfcfdnt snu cunutnnnf, ln cnrf fn nncn nu s-nu mnn gndnt! %nu muln nu prnmnt n !ns drumurn dfsfnntf, dup cnrf fn nu cutnt mult !rfmf, snu rfzul!rn pfntru prunlfmf, ln cnrf fn lucrnu! Funrtf multf nn!fnnn sf fnc n .!ns/. *fcn cf rul s nnn ntuncn suncuntnfntul( %nu cn nu !nsnt df n df ntmplrn, cnrf s-nu ndf!frnt n scurt tnmp( )f rul s nnn ntuncn tutun suncuntnfntul( 0n sffrn nstrnl sf tfrg nnrnfrflf ntrf prfzfnt, !nntur snu trfcut. +un nu ! putfn nmngnnn, dfunrfcf tnmpul fstf un fnctur df nftrfcut pf pmnt, n nnmfnn nu-n puntf fncf fn. *nr ncfst lucru fstf !nlnnnl dunr pfntru mntfrnf. &fntru duh nu f,nst tnmp n tfrmfnul !ustru. ' sfcund pf pmnt puntf nsfmnn pfntru un duh u !fnncnf, n u mnf df nnn pmntftn put trfcf pfntru fl ntr-u clnp. *unr mntfrnn dfpnndf df tnmp. )hnnr n !nnturul nu fstf u cunncndfn ntt df mnrf, nn cum muln crfd. %f ntmpl tutul dup nnumntf lfgn n sf puntf sucutn nprunpf f,nct dnn trfcut. Nu cu crnlf df tnrut snu prnn cntnrfn mnnnn, cu tuntf c nnumntf nndncnn sf put gsn. )cn spnrntul f!ndfnfnz curpul, nn sfmnflf spnrntunlf cnrf sunt dfsfurn ffncnfntf pfntru !nntur, sf gsfsc pf curp. 0n pnrtf puntf fncf multf nfnrmnnn !nlnnnlf nstrulugnn. Nu nstrulugnn pfntru ntrfngn lumf. Fn fstf !nlnnnl cfl mult pfntru rndurnlf df nrf nlf unur nlustrntf. Nu, nstrulugnn cusmnc, cnrf puntf nflfgf nsfmnrnlf spnrntunlf nlf stflflur! %tflflf nu u mnrf nnflufn nsuprn !unstr. Numnn c nncn nu fstf nn cn pfstf tut- cf nu puntf !fdfn snu trn umul, nu crfdf. ) lunn nrf u nnflufn, ncfst lucru fstf df nfcuntfstnt. Ncfst lucru l puntf !fdfn fnfcnrf ln !nlurnlf mrnn. )hnnr n fnptul c f,nst muln dfpfndfnn df lun, fstf df nfcuntfstnt. *fcn, dnc u mnc lun rfuftf, s pruduc nstffl df schnmnrn, s nu nnn unrf nncn un fffct stflflf nfnmngnnnt df mnrn nlf unn!frsulun nsuprn pmntulun( Nnnfnflfs, lunn fstf mnn nprunpf# dnr stflflf nu nn u mrnmf mnrf, c n ln u dnstnn mnrf nu tutun nnflufn. )hnnr ncum nu ncfput s gndfnsc nltffl nstrulugnn !utrn. Nntrf tnmp sunt cunuscutf cnncn sutf df stflf nn znsf Funsnrf, dnn cnrf cfl mnn mnc, dup spusflf unmfnnlur df tnnn df ln NN%N, fstf mnn mnrf dfct cflf u sut df mnlnnrdf df stflf dnn snstfmul !ustru sulnr! &un tu s-n nchnpun nn cf!n( *nr ncfstfn sunt nc pnftrf mncn n unn!frsul nfmrgnnnt. )flf mnn mnrn stflf nu u mrnmf df mnn multf trnlnunnf df nnn lumnn! %-n nchnpun nn cf!n, fstf chnnr n pfntru nun funrtf grfu. n ncfstfn s nu nnn !rfu nnflufn, dnc mncn lun fstf n stnrf, s rndncf cu cn!n mftrn mnrfn urnn( $n mn urntntfn lumnn fstf grfnt ncfputul gndnrnn. Nu fstf nn, c m ntfnpt un !nntur ffrncnt, dunr c sunt dnn grffnl nscut n zudnn nnn snu cfnlnlt. Fstf nprunpf nn!frs. Nnmfnn nu sf nntf dnn grffnl. "untf nntfrnlf sunt cnlculntf cu f,nctntntf. n ntuncn ! nntfn sun u nnumnt cunstflnnf df stflf, dfunrfcf nnflufnn lur uffr f,nct ncfn nmprf urnrf df !nn, cnrf fstf nfcfsnr pfntru crftfrfn !unstr n cnrf ! puntf n utn. *nc cnnf!n nrf cununtfn ncfstfn n fstf n stnrf, s cntfnsc cu .ndf!rnt/ stflflf, puntf nflfgf multf mnn nnnf. *fcn - pfntru nun fstf cu mult mnn uur. )cn tutul cf n fust, n tutul, cf rfnfsf, fstf scrns n crnnlf spnrntunlf. )hnnr n fnptflf n nnflufnflf nlf cflun mnn ndfprtnt trfcut, dfsprf cnrf df f,fmplu nu put dn nncn u nnfurmnnf stflflf. "utun rmnf pfntru prfzncfrfn !nnturulun unflf lucrurn cnrf nu put fn tnutf, dnn cnuzn c ncfstfn nu df-n fncf cu pruprnn !unn lnnfr n fnfcrunn. Ncfstf crn spnrntunlf - n rfnlntntf nu sunt nntf crn, cn dunr furmf df fnfrgnf, cnrf put fn cntntf df cfl cnrf durftf - plutfsc prnn tuntf sffrflf spnrntunlf. *nr dunr n cfn mnn nnlt sffr fstf cumplft nnfurmnnn. 0n sffrn nstrnl f,nst dunr frngmfntf. )unutnnf n ndf!rurn nnltf n spnrntunlf nu sf put gsn nculu. 0n ncfn sffr sf

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put ntlnn df f,fmplu muln dfcfdnn, cnrf nu nu rfunt s urcf ntr-u sffr mnn nnlt. *urnnflf n pntnmnlf lur, df cnrf nu scnp nncn nculu, gndnrfn lur mntfrnnl n crfdnnn lur slnn n mpnfdnc. %ffrn nstrnl fstf nc lucul df unc n multur spnrntf nfcurntf n rflf, n chnnr n mn urntntfn unmfnnlur sf mnc nunptf prnn ncfn sffr. ) df multf urn nu nfsf nnmnc nntflngfnt dnn tuntf ncfstfn, tf pun gndn tu cu sngurnn. *nr multf cumnrf n nu nncn rdcnnnlf, ccn dfsfurn sf ntmpl lucrurn grunznncf n ncfnst sffr spnrntunl cfn mnn uns. n ncfstf lucrurn n crnufsc drumul n cuntnfnt sun furm df cumnrf. 0n ncfnst sffr sf unt mn urntntfn dnn !zturnn !utrn. Fn sfnmn cu nntf unmfnn cnrf nu !d dfluc nnnf, cnrf nu punrt uchflnrn n ncfnrc, s dfscrnf un pfnsn ntnns. &umnn n tufnurnlf dnn fn lf mnn put !fdfn, puntf c n cunturul munnnlur. *nr nncnudnt mnnunntflf pdurn n munnn frumun, flurnlf n nnnmflflf n fundnl. Fn unsfr! dunr frnturn n crfd c nu !zut tutul. Fn nccfpt tutul, fr s fnf n stnrf, s rfcununsc cf fstf ndf!r snu mnncnun. Fn crfd c tutul fstf ndf!rnt, dnn cffn cf !d. Nndncnn pf plnn mntfrnnl snu pfrsunnl sf put gsn ctf!n. n ctf!n fnptf cf sf !ur ntmpln. Muln !zturn nu succfs, dnr rnrfurn ntuncn, cnd fstf !urnn df lucrurn spnrntunlf. *unr frnturn sf put ndugn. &f 7rnstus snu pf ngfrnn %n nu n !n gsn nnmfnn nncn . Nprunpf n tuntf fdnnflf spnrntunlf sf ntmpl n ncfnst sffr. *uhurn unsf, n pnrtf n spnrntf rflf snu nn znsf duhurn mnncnnunsf, cnrf sf nucur rfgftf, ntuncn cnd cnnf!n n crfdf, sf dnu dfsfurn cn fnnnd spnrntf nnltf, snu chnnr ngfrn mrfn. Nnnfnflfs, sf mnn gsfsc n ctf!n ndf!rurn, ccn u nnumnt cunutnn pusfd n fn, n fn put, dnc fstf !urnn df cfn dfcfdnn, s spun lucrurn unmntunrf dnn trfcut. *unr - sunrflf nu l-nu !zut fn. Fn trfnunf s sf mulumfnsc cu ntunfrncul snu cu dunr punn lumnn. n prnn ncfnstn df!nnf !zul un uc df rulft. &f lng ncfnstn fstf ncfst ffl df spnrntnsm pfrnculus. )fn mnn muln lucrfnz fr scut spnrntunl. *nr un mfdnu trfnunf s sf dfschnd cu tutul, pfntru n stnnnln un cuntncut cu sffrn spnrntunl, fl sf d pur n snmplu pf mnn putfrnn ntunfcntf. )n nu pltnt ncfst lucru cu .!nnn/. *uhul lur s-n ntunfcnt, n fn nu !fgftnt n cflf mnn srncf cundnnn, df multf urn n cmnnf psnhntrncf. *nr nu dunr n sumn snu cn mfdnu sf puntf n ungf ln sffrflf spnrntunlf. )fl mnn nun drum fstf mfdntnnn. 0n mfdntnnf sf put nchndf snmurnlf n fnn lumnn. Mfdntnnn ndnc sf nsfnmn n f,tfrnur cu sumnul, dnr cuntnnnn nu fstf nchns. Mfdntnnn nu fstf pur n snmplu u fdfrf, nn cum sf spunf dfsfurn. Mfdntnnn nu fstf nnmnc pnsn!, cn un lucru nctn!, u pnrf nctn! sprf *umnfzfu, cnrf fstf dunr ntuncn pusnnnl, dnc snmurnlf f,tfrnunrf sf rftrng dnn lumfn f,tfrnunr. )nd urfchfn f,tfrnunr nu mnn nudf nnmnc, ntuncn sf puntf dfz!ultn urfchfn nntfrnunr, tut nn sf puntf ntmpln cu uchnul tu nntfrnur n cu snmul tu pfntru !nnrnnnlf lumnn spnrntunlf. "u tf ntrfnn df n df ln ncfput, df cf n f,plnc fu tuntf ncfstfn. Nnt, mfdntnnn fstf drumul tu. "u nn n uns df n funrtf dfpnrtf. "u n-nn n!nns sfntnmfntflf, nn n!nt rndnrfn, drngustfn n umnlnnn. "u n-nn tfrmnnnt cu nnnf tnmpul df n!nrf, ncum sf tfrmnn n nnnn tn df ucfnncnf. Fu !rfnu s tf n! ncum, cum pun s n ungn prnn mfdntnnf ln sffrflf spnrntunlf n cum pun lucrn spnrntunl. )cn n clnpn df fn nu ftn nc n stnrf, s mfrgn snngur drumul pn ln mnnf. %-n ndrfpn gndurnlf sprf *umnfzfu n sprf mnnf, ncfst lucru ftn unnnunt s-l fncn. *nr cffn cf tu nc nu tnn, su cf nu nn !rut s crfzn cu ndf!rnt- tutul, cf n nmngnnfzn, fstf ndf!rnt! )u ct mnn mult tf gndftn, cu ct mnn mult f,frsfzn, cu ct mnn nntfsn! n nmngnnfzn, cu ntt mnn ndf!rnt n mnn ffncnfnt fstf ncfst lucru. Fstf un cnpntul mnrf. Fu !rfnu s ncfrc, s-n f,plnc nf cf fstf cfl mnn nmpurtnnt. 4 $n ncfput frn )u!ntul n )u!ntul frn ln *umnfzfu n *umnfzfu frn )u!ntul. Ncfstn frn ntru ncfput ln *umnfzfu. "untf prnn Fl s-nu fcut# n fr Fl nnmnc nu s-n fcut dnn cf s-n fcut. Nntru Fl frn !nn n !nnn frn lumnnn unmfnnlur. 'nul dnntrf cfn mnn mnrn mnstncn, Nunn F!nnghflnstul, ncfpf nstffl F!nnghflnn sn. n nsfmnrn sf gsfsc ln cflf mnn multf rflngnn n scrnpturnlf lur sfnntf. "rducturnn !utrn nn Nnnlfn nu sf put ns ntr-ndf!r mulumn cu cffn, cf fn cntfsc. Nununfn )u!nt - lugus, cum sf numftf fn n grfnc - n fust schnmnnt n sfns. Ncfnstn nr fn un snnunnm pfntru 7rnstus! )n du!nd pfntru ncfst lucru fstf prupuznnn, cnrf st scrns ctf!n rndurn mnn us- n )u!ntul s-n fcut trup n s-n sllunt ntrf nun. Nnnfnflfs c nncn fstf !urnn dfsprf 7rnstus, dnr dnn ncfnst cnuz 7rnstus nu fstf )u!ntul. "rfnunf numnn s sf mfnrg nnpun ln tf,tul grfcfsc dnn ncfputurn. Nunn n-n scrns dunr F!nnghflnn sn n Grfcnn pfntru flf!nn sn grfcn, n cnnf nr !fnn ntr-ndf!r pf ndffn, c ntuncn cnd fl scrnf un tf,t df n!tur, s fulusfnsc prnntrf, cn !nrnnnf pfntru 7rnstus, nununfn )u!ntul( Ncfnstn tutun n-u puntf nnmfnn prfsupunf n sfrnus! Nu! Grfcfscul lugus, pf cnrf l fulusftf Nunn nncn, nrf, cf-n drfpt, n sfmnnfncnnn df )u!ntul, nntfrprftnrfn lun df nnz fstf ns putfrfn gndurnlur! Numnn c grfcnn nu fust n ncfnst prn!nn cf!n mnn dfpnrtf dfct umul mudfrn, culturnznt. Fn tnnu c gndurnlf n cu!nntflf npnrnn strns lnulnlt. )u!ntul fstf ntr-ndf!r numnn fncfrfn nuznt n gndulun. 0n cffn cf prn!ftf rfnlntntfn lun, nu sf schnmn nnsulut nnmnc! Nunn !rfn dfcn s spun- putfrfn gndurnlur fstf tutul! Fn sf nfl ln ncfput, n fr fn n-nr fn nnmnc! "untf lf-n fcut *umnfzfu numnn prnn putfrfn %n n gndurnlur! n n Nnsus 7rnstus n df!fnnt !nznnnl ncfnst putfrf pfntru nun- n )u!ntul s-n fcut trup. Ncfnstn nu nsfnmn ns nnmnc nltcf!n, dfct c nun tun, tunt fpturn lun *umnfzfu, suntfm numnn gndurnlf %nlf. Fl nf-n gndnt numnn pf nun, n cu tuntf nstfn suntfm nun tutun rfnlntntf. Ncfnstn fstf ntrndf!r n n!turn n nprunpf tuntf rflngnnlf, n n nnsfrncnn crftnnf. n ncfpnd df nncn, nncn nu fstf funrtf

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grfu, s gsftn cnlfn cfn curfct! Nntrf gndurnlf lun *umnfzfu n gndurnlf unun ngfr snu um nu f,nst nncn u dnffrfn sfmnnfncntn!! Numnn ncffn, c gndurnlf lun *umnfzfu sunt nfmrgnnnt df mult mnn putfrnncf dfct cflf nlf mflf snu nlf tnlf. &rnn ncfnstn put flf ntr-ndf!r s n nfptunnsc cu nn df mult mnn mult, .s mplnnfnsc/. n, n cuntrnrnul ncfstun fnpt, !n putfn n un um slnn cu gndurnlf snlf slnnf s nfptunnsc numnn punn. Ncfnstn nsfnmn ns n fnptul c, cu ct mnn mult n nculfzn duhul tu, cu ct mnn tnrf df!nnf duhul tu, cu ntt mnn mult !fn putfn tu nfptun. n ntuncn n!fm df n cf nf-nm prupus! Nu rmnf dfcn nnmnc nltcf!n df fcut, dfct s nntrfnfzn duhul n s-l ntrftn. Ndf!rntf schnmnrn, !nlurn cnrf rmn put fn numnn prnn duh crfntf. "unt mntfrnn fstf trfctunrf, ncfst fnpt n fstf tutun fnfcrunn zn df zn ndus n fnn uchnlur! Nu-n !n fn nf prfn grfu, pfntru c tu ftn funrtf nnnf prfgtnt! &rfnn ln tnnf fnfrgnf n rugcnunf, lns-u pf ncfnstn s curg n gndurnlf tnlf n gndftf-tf ntuncn nntfnsn! ln cffn, cf trfnunf s df!nn rfnlntntf. *nc tu !rfn s n ungn ln mnnf, ntuncn nmngnnfnz-n nntfnsn! pfrsunnn mfn n ncfnst mprf urnmf, nn df lnmpfdf, pn cf !n df!fnn ncfnstn rfnlntntf. n ntuncn ftn tu nncn! Nu cu trupul tu nnnfnflfs. *f ncfln nu fstf nnmfnn nntfrfsnt. "u, ncfstn fstf duhul tu! Fu nm spus udnt- Nun mnn n!fm nf!unf df tnnf. "u nu n-nn putut f,plncn pn ncum ncfst lucru. tnn tu ncum ncfnstn( Ncun tf !un n!n n nstn. Nnsus 7rnstus s tf rfnn n mnlustn!nrfn $un, f nnnf nstn n f,frsfnz hnrnnc n !nnu ncun nnrn. Nstn n fust nprunpf prfn mult dnntr-u dnt. &f mnnf m durfn cnpul. Fu nm n!ut nf!unf df ctf!n znlf, pnn cf nm prflucrnt n nm nflfs tutul. &n dn, dfstul tnmp nm n!ut fu ntr-ndf!r. n n mfrs mnn nnnf, dfct m-nm gndnt fu. Fu fusfsfm dunr df n df mult tnmp unnnunt .s dfcunfctfz/. *nc fu nu !runnm, pur n snmplu nu ngnm nnmnc df sfnm dfsprf cffn, cf sf ntmpln n urul mfu. &fntru mfdnul ncun urtur nl mfu sf nrtn sntunnn nn, df pnrc n durmn, n fl m lsn n pncf. Nncn nu sf mnrn df ncffn nnmfnn, c fu .durmfnm/ dnntr-u dnt u umtntf df zn, frnu dunr numnn funrtf punnn, cnrf sf purtnu cu mnnf nurmnl. Fu !rfnu s spun cu ncfst lucru, c numnn punnn n rflnnn cu mnnf rfncnunnu ntr-un mud tut nn df nnturnl, cn n cum nr n!fn un um sntus n fnn lur. )fn mnn muln sf gndfsc ntutdfnunn, dfunrfcf nu fn un hnndncnpnt n fnn lur, c nr trfnun s fnf pfstf msur df ntfnn, s sf gndfnsc ln tuntf funrtf f,nct, dnn cffn cf fn fnc n spun. *nr ncfnstn nu fstf un lucru nnturnl, n un hnndncnpt !rfn s fnf trntnt tut nn df nurmnl, cn n fnfcnrf nltul. Fl unsfr! fnfcnrf nfsngurnn, fnfcnrf fzntnrf, fnfcnrf nchndfrf n uchnlur n rndncrf dnn umfrn. Fstf df nsfmfnfn u frunrf s crfzn, c un surdu-mut n-nr rfmnrcn nnmnc, numnn pfntru c fl nu puntf nuzn nnmnc. %nu un hnndncnpnt mnntnl, pfntru c fl dunr nu puntf gndn lnmpfdf. Ncfnstn puntf fn, dnr s snmt put tun - n nnumf cfl mnn ndfsfn mult mnn nnnf dfct unul sntus! n fl unsfr! cu ndf!rnt ntr-ndf!r, dnc sf !urnftf nurmnl dfsprf fl snu dnsprfuntur snu cumptnmntur. n fncf nnnf, s fnn trntnt nurmnl. Nndnr, n urncf cnz nu sf cunturnn nnmfnn df nstn. Nstffl putfnm fu s mfdntfz urf ntrfgn. Nncn nu mn-n fust grfu, s m cuncfntrfz un tnmp punn mnn ndflungnt, cu ncfst lucru nm fust fu df n ntr-ndf!r ntutdfnunn unnnunt. Fu mn-nm ndrfptnt gndurnlf nsuprn lun Mnchnfl, ncfrcnm s mn-l nchnpun nntfnsn!. *nc putfnm pn ncum s snmt df n ndfsfn n .stnrfn nurmnl/ prfzfnn lun, ntuncn fu cptnm cu fnfcnrf mfdntnnf mnn nprufundnt un cuntnct mnn strns cu fl. Fu putfnm snmn, cum fl n punfn mnn sn pf nrnul mfu, putfnm s-l nud, ctfudnt df n s n !urnfsc cu fl. Fl m ncurn n tut tnmpul nnrn n m ntrfn. Fl frn tutdfnunn df fn, cnd n!fnm nf!unf df fl. Nntr-ndf!r, n durnt mult tnmp, n prugrfsflf mflf frnu mncn, ns flf frnu cunstnntf. n pfntru n f,frsn n rndnrf, n!usfsfm fu dunr df n dfstul tnmp. Nntr-u zn mn-n spus Mnchnfl- Gndftf-tf tutun u dnt ln mnmn tn, dnr rung-tf mnn ntn. Mnmn m !nzntn fnfcnrf n trfnn sptmn, pfntru c drumul ncuncf durn funrtf mult, n dfunrfcf mnmn nu n!fn mnnn, frn n funrtf cumplncnt cu trfnul n nutunuzul n ultnmn pnrtf pf us. Frn ntutdfnunn frumus, cnd fn frn nncn. Fu u nunfnm, n fn m nccfptnsf ntrf tnmp. Nu frn ntr-ndf!r nc u drngustf ndf!rnt, dnr frn prnftfnnf. 0n ultnmul sfrnt df sptmn n fust fn nncn, n !fnnt cn ntutdfnunn n tnmpul dup-nmnfznn, n mncnt cu mnnf, mn-n cntnt cf!n, mn-n pu!fstnt dfsprf frnnn mfn, pn cf n plfcnt ntuncn sfnrn nnrn ncns. Fu m gndfnm df fnpt ndfsfn ln mnmn, dnr nncnudnt nu mn-n !fnnt n gnd, s u nnclud n pf fn n mfdntnnf. Fu nncn nu tnnm nn df lmurnt, df cf trfnunf s m rug nnnntf df nstn. *nr m-nm unnnunt cu fnptul df n urmn nndncnnnlf lun Mnchnfl n nu mn s-n ntmplnt nncnudnt s nu rfufsc. Nstffl nm fcut n df ncfnst dnt, cffn cf fl m sftunsf. Frn !nnfrn dup-nmnnz. Fu m-nm rugnt ndflung, n-nm mulumnt lun *umnfzfu pfntru drngustfn n n uturul, pf cnrf lf prnmfnm mfrfu n m-nm cufundnt ncun n mfdntnnf ndnc. Fu mn-u nchnpunnm ntfnsn! pf mnmn. +nnfrn ln nmnnz, ntuncn !fnfn fn tutdfnunn df!rfmf ncns df ln lucru, mn-n pu!fstnt fn. n ntuncn nm n !zut-u df n. *n, fu nu !nsnm, fu u !fdfnm ntr-ndf!r. Fn dfschnsf punrtn grdnnnn, mfrsfsf n us pf cnlfn scurt pnftrunt n dfschnsf punrtn cnsfn. Fu m ducfnm nlturn nprunpf df fn n m-nm nfznt lng fn pf cnnnpfnun !fchf. Fn trfnunf s fn fust funrtf unusnt, n urncf cnz ndurmnsf fn ncun. Fu nm ncfput s .!urnfsc/ cu fn, ntuncn s-n ntmplnt cf!n cnudnt. 'n .cf!n/ cn un nur df cfn s-n dfsprnt df trupul fn n plutfn n fnn mfn n ncpfrf, prnntr-u sfunr funrtf sunnrf n nrgnntnf lfgnt df trupul fn. Ncfl .cf!n/ n!fn npru,nmntn! nfnnrfn curpulun fn, punn mnn mnrf puntf n nn df gnngn n trnnspnrfnt cn un !l df mtnsf. 'n tnmp scurt nm mnn rmns fu ln fn n putfnm s dnnlughfz cu duhul fn. Ntuncn nm fust fu dnntr-u dnt nnrn n trupul mfu, trfnunn nnrn s m sunurdunfz lnmntrnn lun. *nr fu frnm ffrncnt. &fntru prnmn dnt nm putut s m dfspnrt cuntnfnt df trupul mfu# cf-n drfpt, numnn pfntru un tnmp scurt, dnr nstn nu fcfn nnmnc. Fu tnnm, c nznutnsfm ncfputul. *f n n znun urmtunrf m-n !nzntnt mnmn. Fn n fcusf nn df multf grn n pfntru mnnf. Fn !nsnsf dfsprf mnnf-

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"u tf-nn dus cu mnnf ln plnmnnrf. Nun nm dnscutnt cn duu prnftfnf dfsprf mud n hnnnf n nltf lucrurn nfnmpurtnntf. Nun nf-nm dus n sus pf un drum nnrupt, pnftrus prnntr-u pdurncf mnc dnn pumn cnudnn. Nsfmfnfn pumn fu nu mnn !zusfm nncnudnt. Fn frnu plnnn df strugurn fructf mncn, df un ruu dfschns, cnrf nrtnu cn scuruflf. Fructflf frnu funrtf frumunsf n unnfurmf, n pf fnfcnrf dnntrf flf, cu tuntf c frnu nn df mncn, frn scrns numflf tu n lntfrf nurnn- Nnrnnrn. 2nmurnlf df us frnu prnn grfutntfn lur nduntf ndnc sprf pmnt, nn nct nun putfnm s n ungfm uur ln flf. $n u mlntnn mnc nm pupusnt nun ntuncn n nm mncnt dnn fructflf tnlf. Flf frnu dulcn ln gust n nu n!fnu nncn u pnntr n nncn smnurf. )nd nn !fnnt tu, nu mn-n mfrs funrtf nnnf. Fu frnm unusnt n n punn nulnn! n m ustfnfnm, s nn pnsul cu tnnf. *f-nnnn tfrmnnnsfm fu ns df mncnt dnn fructf, c nm snmnt, cum u mnrf putfrf sf scurgfn n mnnf. Fu nm df!fnnt dnntr-u dnt funrtf uunr, nprunpf nnpundfrnnnl. *nntr-u dnt s-n npustnt un run mnrf df cuufnnf nfgrf nsuprn nunstr n nsuprn pdurncfn, pfntru n mncn fructflf tnlf. Fu nm df!fnnt funrtf nspmntnt, dnr tu tf-nn rugnt pur n snmplu. n ncfnst rugcnunf s-n pus pfstf nun prutfctunrf cn un cluput. Ntuncn nu !fnnt df ln cfr dun !ulturn mrfn, n cu znnfrfturn urtf nu fugnt cuufnnflf df fn. 'nul dnntrf !ulturn n znurnt dnrfct nsprf tnnf, tf-n cuprnns nlnd cu ghfnrflf snlf n tf-n lunt cu fl. "u nn zmnnt ntr-ndf!r n mn-nn fcut nc sfmn cu mnn, dnr fu nu tnnm, dnc nf nu n s-n ntmplnt tutun cf!n. Fu m tfmfnm, c ncfnstn nr putfn nsfmnn nfnurucnrf, df ncffn nm !fnnt fu nmfdnnt nstzn ln tnnf. "cut nm zmnnt fu n snnfmn. Multf !nsf nu nns ln n!fnl dnn suncuntnfnt, mn-n spus Mnchnfl. +nsul n fust u pu!fstf. )unnnutul !nsulun, ncfnstn n fust rfnlntntfn, pf cnrf n culurnt-u suncuntnfntul dunr cu nmngnnn. Frn u frumuns dup- nmnnz df smnt. Mnmn frn funrtf lnnntnt, lumnnnt nntfns df u pncf nntfrnunr. n fn frn sntuns. Mult tnmp nm mnn rmns fu trfnz dup lunrfn df rmns nun df ln fn n nm cugftnt. )um s-n fcut mnmn sntuns( *f undf !fnnsf putfrfn, cnrf n ptruns-u nntfns( ' prfsnmnrf tcut mn-n df!fnnt ncft cuntnfnt. Fu nm !nsnt n ncfnst nunptf dfsprf ffrncnrf n pncf. Fu frnm u pnsrf mnc, uunr n lnnfr, fr grn n. n nstffl m-nm n snmnt fu. 3 *umnncn frn nnsfrncn nfnt dnn cumun df frumus mpudunnt. Frnu rusnlnnlf. %lu nn dn!nn frn funrtf sulfmn. )fn muln mnnnstrnnn, tmnnu, curul nnsfrncfsc cntn u slu n n lntnn. Frn u uscnlnnf npnrtf n nnsfrnc. 2usnlnnlf n-nu fust numnn u dnt pf tnmpul npustulnlur, mn spusf Mnchnfl. Fnfcnrf nn sf rf!nrs duhul lun *umnfzfu dnn nuu pfstf ncfnn, cnrf sunt dnspun, s-l prnmfnsc. Fnfcnrf prfn c snmtf spfcnfncul ncfstfn znlf. $nnntf n pncf frn nculu - n putfrf. &utfrfn unun *umnfzfu nunntur, )nrf u rf!nrs cuntnnuu nsuprn cupnnlur %n n cfrtutudnnfn sngur, c cnd!n n ultnmul !n fn dnspus n n stnrf, s prnmfnsc drngustfn $un. )n df unncfn, fdfnm fu n fn df tut n drfnptn, n fnn prnmflur nncn, n scnunul mfu df nn!nlnd. Fu m lsnm dus df uscnlnnf n df putfrf n m-nm cufundnt n mfsn ul nfnrnn zugr!ntf df dfnsuprn mfn- Nnsus l n!nf pf $nzr dnn murn. Mnchnfl mn-n f,plncnt df n u dnt nsfmntntfn ncfstfnn. $nzr n fust prnmul. )nd!n n !n fn n!nnt Nnsus pf tun cfn .murn spnrntunl/, n !n flnnfrn df durnnflf n lcumnnlf lur mntfrnnlf. Fl n !n flnnfrn dnn dfprtnrfn lur fn *umnfzfu, dnn mputmulnrnlf lur n mntfrnf n df tuntf suffrnnflf, cnrf s-nu furmnt prnn cdfrfn df ln *umnfzfu - munrtfn duhu!nncfnsc. Fl n !n n!nn ln u !nn nuu, ln u !nn n urdnnfn *umnfzfnnsc, ln u !nn, cnrf fstf purtnt df cflf nptf nsunrn nlf lun *umnfzfu- drngustf, !unn, rndnrf, sfrnuzntntf, urdnnf, mnlustn!nrf n nflfpcnunf. Ncfnstn fstf n!nfrfn dnn murn, nnumf dnn murnn spnrntunln. "rupul fstf fr !nlunrf, numnn duhul fstf ncfln, cnrf trnftf. Fu m-nm pnfrdut n prn!nrfn ln nfnnrfn zugr!nt. )ulurnlf nu df!fnnt mnn lumnnunsf, mnn !nn, pftfrn df murmnt trnst n cfdnt n fn!urfn unun lnn nlnd df culnnf, pumn n flurn nu nprut n Nnsus mfrgfn nsprf mnnf. Nu nu frn Nnsus, frn Mnchnfl! Fu rfunsfm! *nn pruprnn putfrf! Mnchnfl s-n untnt ln mnnf. Nu, fnrftf cn nu dnn pruprnn putfrf! Nprunpf n fn df!fnnt fu nnrn ncrfzut. Frn putfrfn lun *umnfzfu, cnrf m purtnsf. Fu trfnunn numnn s cuprnnd frnghnn, pf cnrf Fl u nrunc nuu tut mfrfu, n s m lns trns n sus. *nr pfntru prnmn dnt rfunsfm, s cuprnnd ncfnst frnghnf fr n utur strnn. *rngustfn n smfrfnnn m curnsfr nn df mult, m flnnfrnsfr df nnlnst, cnrf nf nchndf nuu n mud nurmnl cnlfn. Fu frnm pfstf msur df ffrncnt. Frn pfntru mnnf, df pnrc n fn pfntru prnmn dnt ntr-ndf!r nncn. Mnchnfl n pnt ln mnnf. Mulumfsc! Fu n mulumfsc nf. 0ncurcnt m-nm untnt n sus ln fl. *n, fu n mulumfsc nf, c n-nn nsunt n!turnlf mflf, c nn fust un nsfmfnfn flf! nsculttur. )t df dfs suntfm nun rfspnnn, lunn n rs! Nngfrn( Ncftnn sunt tutun numnn n pu!fstf! )t df dfs fstf ustfnfnln nunstr zndnrnnc, ct df dfs sunt rfspnnsf ndrumrnlf nunstrf pur n snmplu n !nt! 0n cfl mnn nun cnz suntfm nun nunn pfntru fnptul, df n prf!fnn nccndfntf n s-n pznm pf unmfnn df .lu!nturn nlf dfstnnulun/. *nr ndrumnrf duhu!nncfnsc( Nu, df ncfnstn nu mnn nu nf!unf unmfnnn nstzn. Fn nu df!fnnt nsfnnnnn n rnnunnln. Fn dumnnnu nnturn n tfhnncn. Fn putfnu chnnr s znunrf pf lun. n ntuncn s sf lnsf cundun cn nntf cupnn mncn( Ncfst lucru nu l puntf cfrf nnmfnn ntr-ndf!r. *f nfmrgnnnt mult rndnrf n drngustfn fstf nf!unf, pfntru cn nnn ntrfgn, dn, puntf u !nn ntrfng, c s lucrn n .zndnr/, s rd pf sfnmn tn n s df!nn u fngurnn dnn pu!ftn. *nr n nuu nf mfrgf cn n !uu pf pmnt. )hnnr n cfn mnn mnc ln!nn

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df!nnf udnt mnrf. 'dnt !n crftf cffn cf sf sfnmn. 0ntr-u nun zn df!nnf smnn plnnt. )nd, ncfst lucru nu dfpnndf df nun. $n ncfst lucru fu nncn nu m-nm gndnt. Nun dnspfrm df n dup scurt tnmp, ntuncn cnd nu sf !fdf succfsul durnt. )f mrfnf trfnunf s f,nstf ntuncn cnd lucrfzn zfcn df nnn, dn, puntf u !nn ntrfng df um, fr succfsul f!ndfnt( Fr n pnfrdf !rfudnt rndnrfn, fr n pnfrdf drngustfn( 'h ct df stupnzn sunt tutun unmfnnn! "u nu trfnunf s dnspfrn, n nntrnt Mnchnfl n gndurnlf mflf. &f pmnt fstf cu mult mnn grfu. )fn mnn muln unmfnn sunt df prfrf, c !nnn sf sfrftf dup munrtf, n tnmp cf nun n!fm !fnncnn n fnn uchnlur. )hnnr n tnmpul nrf u nlt nsfmnnrf pfntru nun. *fsprf ncfst lucru !fn nflfgf n tu n curnd ctf cf!n. *fcn! *nr, ncum, unt-tf punn mprf ur! Fu nu putfnm unsfr!n cf!n dfusfnnt, frn tutul cn df unncfn. &untf c flurnlf nflurfnu cf!n mnn nntfnsn!, puntf c nnrnn n!fn un mnrus mnn tnrf, puntf c psrnlf cntnu mnn mnnunnt. *nr n rfst( Frn mnn mult lumnn dfct nlt dnt. *n nnnfnflfs, frn mnn lumnnnt! n ntuncn fu l-nm !zut. %us pf cfr sttfn sunrflf n mrnmfn sn mrfn. Frn mnn strlucntur dfct mnn df surn pmntftn, n tutun nm putut s m unt dnrfct ln fl dup scurt tnmp. Nu, fu nu m-nm f,prnmnt curfct! %ttfn pur n snmplu pnsn!, pfntru n fmnnn u lumnn, cnrf nu-n npnrnnfn. Nu! Fl frn lumnnn! Fl sf untn ln mnnf! M lumnnn pn n ndncurn - n frn tutun pfstf tut. *n,df ncum nnnntf !n strlucn ntutdfnunn pfntru tnnf. Fstf lumnnn df !fcn, fstf Nnsus 7rnstus, fstf sunrflf %u, cnrf pfntru tnnf nu !n mnn npunf. *nr cum sf puntf, c fu !d sunrflf pfstf tut, fu put s m nturc cum !rfnu, n urncnrf dnrfcnf, n sunrflf fstf tut tnmpul prfzfnt. Nun nm !urnnt df multf urn dfsprf ncfst lucru. 0n lumfn spnrntunl nu f,nst lucrurn, cnrf lf-n crfnt cnnf!n snu cnrf lf-n nfznt, cns, pum, mnnn, flurn snu nnnmnlf - dfunrfcf nu f,nst mntfrnf. &fntru lumfn spnrntunl nu f,nst nncn uchn. 'chnul spnrntunl fstf, chnnr suflftul. "u pun !fdfn dunr cffn, cf fstf n tnnf! Ncum nn tu lumnnn lun Nnsus 7rnstus, nn prnmnt n tnnf drngustfn %n, dfcn prnn urmnrf u pun !fdfn. *nr nnnfnflfs pfstf tut, ccn nu nrf un punct stnnnl pf .cfr/. Fstf n tnnf. n pfstf tut undf ftn tu, fstf n ncfst sunrf. )nnf!n cnrf r!nftf dunr ln lucrurnlf mntfrnnlf, cnrf trnftf dunr pfntru nnnn n pfntru sntnsfncfrfn snmurnlur trupftn, spnrntunlul ncflunn fstf gul. n fl !n putfn !fdfn n lumfn spnrntunl dunr stncn gunlf. Nncn nnrn, nncn u flunrf nu !n putfn !fdfn, dunr frngul n pustnul n gulul n ntunfrncul! )u ct mnn mult drngustfn strngf n fl, cu ntt mnn cnld n mnn prnftfnuns fstf .nnnmn/ sn, dfcn cu ntt mnn cnld n mnn prnftfnuns df!nnf mprf urnrfn sn. Nmprf urnrfn fstf df fnpt u uglnnd n suflftulun! Ncfnstn fstf df fnpt n chfnn sprf rfcununtfrfn .cfrulun n n nndulun/. *umnfzfu nu udfc nncnudnt! Nncnudnt! *rngustfn fstf ntr-ndf!r n stnrf, s nn pf cnnf!n dnn scurt, s trnmnt .lu!nturn df dfstnn/ snu ncfrcrn, dnc flf fulusfsc, s-l n utf s-n schnmnf prfrfn n dnc l n ut s mfnrg un pns mnn dfpnrtf pf drumul spnrntunl. *rngustf mnn fstf n ntuncn, dnc l lu!ftn pf un cupnl pf dfgftf, pfntru n-l scutn df ru, ntuncn cnd ncfnrc pfntru n 9-n unr, s trng df pf sun cnznnul cu np clucutnt. *nr drngustfn nu pfdfpsftf nncnudnt, n n nncn ntr-un cnz pf !fcn. Nu, fnfcnrf sf rspltftf snu sf udfc pf snnf. *rngustfn pf cnrf tu nn strns-u pf pmnt, dftfrmnn stnrfn mprf urrnlur, n cnrf tu tf !fn nfln n lumfn spnrntunl. *rngustfn tf !n cunducf n .cfr/. 'rn ns puntf, cum fstf cnzul n pf pmnt, dfcn n n lumfn spnrntunl, s pru!uncf dunr cfnrt n suffrnnf ntr-un pfnsn pustnu fr lumnn n cldur. Ncfstn fstf .nndul/, n n ncfst nnd sf nfl cnnf!n dunr nttn tnmp, ct npnrnnf fl df ncfstn cu gndurnlf snlf. *nc fl fstf df prfrf, c trfnunf s-$ urnsc pf *umnfzfu pf !fcn, ntuncn sf !n nfln fl pf !fcn n ncfnst stnrf, ndnc n ncfl .nnd/. *nr fl nu fstf nruncnt df *umnfzfu nculu, fstf pur n snmplu dfcnznn sn lnnfr! *nc fl sf schnmn n dnc sf ntunrcf n nntfrnurul su sprf drngustf, ntuncn sf !n schnmnn cunfurm lun pfnsn ul cnrf l ncun unr. Ncfnstn fstf lfgfn. n fn nu sf !n schnmnn nncnudnt, nttn tnmp ct !n f,nstn crfnnn. *nc cnnf!n, cnrf dup gndurnlf snlf nr trfnun s fnf n .nnd/, n fstf ndus n cfrurn, fl nu nr putfn supurtn ncfnstn. Fl nu nr putfn supurtn lumnnn, nr fn cfl mnn mnrf chnn pfntru fl, n fl s-nr nruncn n mnrf grnn nnpun n ntunfrnc. Fstf f,nct nn, cn n cum cnnf!n nr n!fn uchnn sfnsnnnln ln lumnn. Fl nu puntf supurtn lumnnn n sf snmtf nnnf dunr n sfmn-ntunfrnc. *nr cu ct mnn mult sf mnuntftf stnrfn sn , cu ntt mnn mult lumnn puntf supurtn fl. *nr !nnn u nu uchnn, n nu lumnnn! *f ncffn pun !fdfn tu ncum pfstf tut lumnnn lun Nnsus 7rnstus. "u nn n uns ncum nn df dfpnrtf, c pun ncfpf s lucrfzn spnrntunl, pun ncfpf s df!nn u unfnlt n lun *umnfzfu pf pmnt. "u tnn ncum, c tutul cf fstf, cf f,nst, n fust crfnt prnn gnd. )hnnr n pmntul n tut cf f,nst pf ncfstn. $n ncfput n fust cu!ntul, gndul, ndnc fnfrgnf curnt, n ncfnstn s-n ndfsnt nn df tnrf, ntt df .grfu/, cn n df!fnnt mntfrnf. &rnn gndurn sf put crfn tuntf, sf put schnmnn tuntf, snu sf put dnstrugf. Gndurnlf trfnunf s fnf dunr funrtf putfrnncf. Ncfn putfrf u prnmftn tu df ln *umnfzfu. *nr prutf fnz-tf, mnn nlfs ntuncn, cnd n prsftn curpul. &n ncum nu fcut nlnn ncfst lucru. Ncum ns trfnunf s-u fncn snngur. &utfrnlf rflf stnu tut tnmpul ln pnd, n ntuncn cnd n nrn !ulnfrnnnlntntf, lu!fsc ntutdfnunn. &rutf fnz-tf df duu urn, n prnmul rnd prnn rugcnunf, dfunrfcf !nnrnnnlf sf nfnz cn un cluput n urul tu. 0n nl dunlfn rnd- gndftf-tf ln u crucf df lumnn, cnrf st n tnnf, cnrf fstf n curpul tu n cnrf strlucftf pn n f,tfrnur. Gndftf-tf nntfnsn! ln ncfnstn, n fn df!nnf ndf!r n lumfn spnrntunl. F-u dnn lumnn clnr n strlucntunrf. Gndftf-tf c rnzflf cnrf fmnn ncfn crucf, nlung tut cf fstf ru n nfgntn!, dnr ln tut cf fstf nun n puzntn! n crunftf drum sprf tnnf. Ncfn lumnn n-u puntf supurtn nncn un spnrnt ru. *fcn ncfnstn n fust, ln cf s-n rfffrnt fl cu cu!nntflf- Nun mnn n!fm nf!unf df tnnf. *fz!ultnrfn mfn frn df n dfstul df n!nnsnt, ncum n!fnm !unf s n ut pf nlnn. Fu frnm nucuruns, ffrncnt n mulumnt. Mnchnfl m-n mnrnnt. Ncum du-tf n drngustfn lun *umnfzfu, fu sunt mfrfu nlturn df tnnf.

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Gus df tut nm unsfr!nt fu curpul mfu. Fu plutfnm sun nultn ncpfrnn nltnrulun n sn!urnm uurnnn spnrntulun. Muzncn, rugcnunfn, tutul prfn mnn rfnl, mult mnn !nu. Nncn u durfrf, nncn u grn , nncn un trup .grfu/ nu dfrnn n duhul. Fu nm fzntnt, n dfudnt nm tnut, df cf nu n-n fust dnt fnfcrunn ncfst dnr, df cf n mud nurmnl trfnunf luptnt pfntru ncfnstn. )fn mnn muln nu s-nr ntunrcf nnpun! Fn nu nr schnmnn lnrgul n frumusffn spnrntulun cu strmtunrfn n cu suffrnnflf curpulun. *nr dnc nu mnn !ur s sf rfntunrc, sf rupf cnd!n ncfn frnghnf, cnrf mprfunfnz curpul cu duhul. &rnn ncfnstn munrf trupul, n fn nu mnn nu pusnnnlntntfn, s sf dfz!ultf n cuntnnunrf n s trnnsc, cffn, cf fstf cfl mnn nmpurtnnt, n stnrfn cnrf sf nfl fn. Ntuncn cnd fu mnm nflnt dnn nuu n curpul mfu, m-n lu!nt durfrfn dnn plnn. N durnt u !rfmf, pn cnd fu nm ncfput s-u stpnfsc. %lu nn nu s-n tfrmnnnt nc, n ncfnstn nsfmnn, c fu nm .lnpsnt/ cfl mult u umtntf df ur, dnr dup snmurnlf mflf, nm pftrfcurt nlturn df Mnchnfl mnn multf urf. *fcn ncfnstn frn dnffrfnn dnntrf tnmp. Nncftul cu ncftul nm ncfput s nflfg. ' stnrf df ffrncnrf s-n rspndnt n mnnf, nn cum fu nu nm mnn cunuscut-u. Fu nm prnmnt pusnnnlntntfn, s nntru n cuntnct cu lumfn dumnfzfnnsc, n fu nm ncfput, s nunfsc curpul mfu dffurmnt. Fl mn-n uffrnt ncfnst nns. Fr fl nu n fn gsnt cu nttn uurnn ncfst drum. 5 $n mnsn df nmnnz m-n hrnnt Frfd. Frn un nnnt nun, df uptsprzfcf nnn, dnr cu mnntfn unun cupnl df nsf nnn. Frn surdu-mut, n pncnunrflf snlf frnu nfpfnntf, dnr fl frn tut tnmpul prnftfnus, dn puntf c n cumnc. 'nul, cnrf nncnudnt nu sf plngfn. Fl sf ucupn dfsfurn df mnnf, fu frnm cu ntutfnunn cu drng n cumpnnnn sn. &f fl nu-l cunducfnu umnrflf. *fudnt n dnsprut nmngnnfn lun dnn fnn uchnnlur mfn. 'n rfgf sttfn n fnn mfn. Fl fdfn pf un trun df nur, ncun urnt df lnngunturnn, cnrf l !fnfrnu. %nln frn ct sf puntf df frumus nrnn nt. ' mns ffstn! frn nrnn nt, n sfr!nt, tutul frn mnnunnt. Nmngnnnlf sf schnmnnu rfpfdf. Fl prfn s fnf un rfgf ntrn nflfpt n drfpt, tun, cnrf n cfrfnu sfntul, prfnu s fnf mulumnn. Fl trfnunn s fn fust n funrtf dnrnnc, dfunrfcf ntr-u ncpfrf mnrf ln sf ddfn df mncnrf srncnlur n fn prnmfnu hnnnf n nltf lucrurn nmpurtnntf. Fu l !fdfnm cum sf rugn n l !fdfnm mfrgnd ln nnsfrnc. Nnsfrncn frn mnnunnt. Fl sttfn n lu n sn df rfgf n prnmfn cu un zmnft mnlustn! tuntf snlutrnlf slu nturnlur sn. 2ugcnunfn ct n purtnrfn sn nntfrnunr frn .drfnpt/. Fl n utn nnsfrncn dup tuntf putfrnlf snlf n sf mplncn cu tunt fnnnn. *fudnt n nprut un nrnnt, cnrf n stnt nprunpf nf!zut n fundnl. Fl frn snmplu mnrcnt, chnpul su frn ncun urnt df lumnn. Fl n !urnnt- "u ftn un rfgf, pf plncul lun *umnfzfu, nflfpt, drfpt, rndtur n plnn df drngustf. "u nu tf-nn rftrns df ln grfu n nu nn pncnt prnd nspntflur, cnrf !nn u dnt cu putfrfn n cu nugnn. Ncum ftn prfgtnt s n!fn ultnmul n cfl mnn grfu lucru, umnlnnn. Nmngnnnlf n pnfrdfnu culurnlf, n Frfd sttfn dnn nuu n fnn mfn. Fl mn zmnfn n mn-n ngnt n gur u lnngur plnn df snlnt df cnrtufn. Fu putfnm !fdfn prnn fl, putfnm !fdfn spnrntul su n m-nm untnt ntrfntur sprf fl. Fl n dnt dnn cnp n n ncfput s zmnfnsc. Ncum tnnm df cf m snmfnm nn df nnnf n prfzfnn lun. Nun nf nsfmnnm funrtf tnrf n .dfstnnul/ pf cnrf l n!fnm. 3 'rmturul tnmp n trfcut rfpfdf. Fu m rugnm mult n m ndncfnm n mfdntnnf. Fu prnmfnm prnn ncfnstn nn df mult putfrf, c dfsfurn nu mnn snmfnm nncn un ffl df durfrf. Funrtf prfcns sf snmfn cum curgfn !nlul df fnfrgnf pfstf cnp n spntf. Frn, df pnrc n fn stnt ntr-un cnrcunt df curfnt. Mulumnrf, ffrncnrf n pncfn s-nu nnstnlnt, pfntru cn s nu m mnn prsfnsc n !fcn. Nprunpf nncnudnt! Fu putfnm snmn curfntul, cnrf curgfn n sus n n us prnn culunnn mfn !frtfnrnl. Fl sf furmn n rurn mnrn, pfntru n df!fnn cfntrf df putfrf n rfzfr!f df fnfrgnf. Fu m gndfnm ln u crucf dnn lumnn strlucntunrf, cnrf frn nlnmfntnt df ncfstf cfntrf. )um mn-n spus Mnchnfl, frn tut tnmpul nculu, cnd fu mn-u nmngnnnm. )u tuntf ncfstfn nm fust surprnns, cnd dup un tnmp nm putut ntr-ndf!r s !d ncfn crucf. *f n df mnn mult !rfmf nm unsfr!nt, c umnrflf cflurlnn, ntuncn cnd !fnfnu sprf mnnf, sf ddfnu nnpun cn n curfntnn n nu putfnu s sf nprupnf mnn tnrf df mnnf. Ncum !fdfnm, c ncfst lucru sf dnturn crucnn. 2nzflf fn mpnngfn umnrflf nnpun. Nn nm putut s mnn unsfr!, c muln cupnn df!fnfnu mnn lnnntnn n nprupnfrfn mfn. )hnnr n surflf, cnrf frnu .nfcumfstnnnlf/, df!fnfnu n nprupnfrfn mfn mult mnn pnnncf. )hnnr n ndmnnnstrntunrfn n rfunt n ultnmn !rfmf, s !urnfnsc cu mnnf snu s-mn ntunrc pngnnnlf crnn mflf. *n, prfn chnnr s-n fnc plcfrf, s stfn un tnmp n nprupnfrfn mfn. Ncum tnnm fu n df cf! 3 Nntr-u dnmnnfn n ncfput Nfn nmnn s fnc u crnz. Fl lu!fn cu cnpul fr ntrfrupfrf zndul, nprunpf c nncn nu putfnn s prn!ftn n ncfn dnrfcnf. Fl n!fn dfsfurn ncfstf crnzf. )urpul nu n frn dfluc dffurmnt n df multf urn prfn s fnf ct sf puntf df nurmnl. F!ndfnt frnu dunr uffrtflf snlf f,ngfrntf df n utur, n tnmp cf frn ntt df nfndfmnntnc, c fnfcnrf, dnc frn pusnnnl, rfnunn ln n uturul lun, n ncfst lucru l fcfn s fnf funrtf trnst.

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%nmurnlf snlf rfcfpnunnu df fnfcnrf dnt ncfnstn. *f n tut ln ctf!n znlf n!fn ncfstf crnzf. *f unncfn durnu u ur pnn ln duu urf n l unusfnu. *up ncffn sttfn urf n nr n suspnnn, dnr nu prfn s nnn durfrn mnrn. *f dntn ncfnstn frn cn un nnnmnl slnntnc. )n n mncn spnrndun sttfnu nfnumrntf umnrf pf cfnfn sn n l lu!fnu cu pumnn n l nnu. Nnmfnn nu putfn s-l lnnntfnsc, pn cnd dfudnt mn-n trfcut prnn mnntf u ndff. Fu nm nfznt n nntfrnurul lun u crucf df lumnn, mn-nm chnpunt-u ct sf puntf df nntfnsn! n nm nlnmfntnt-u cu gndurnlf mflf cu fnfrgnf. Fu putfnm !fdfn, cum df!fnfn dnn cf n cf mnn mrfn, pn cnd n strlucnt pfstf tut. 'mnrflf sf mputrn!fnu, m nmfnnnnu, dnr nu frnu dfstul df putfrnncf. *f nnnnu n-nu pnfrdut n ultnmul fchnlnnru, n Nfn nmnn n df!fnnt dnn nuu lnnntnt. Fl n fust unusnt n suspnnn ncft. &fntru prnmn unr nm df!fnnt cuntnfnt df putfrfn spnrntulun. n putfrfn, cnrf u n!fnu ncfstf fnnnf, ct n putfrfn pf cnrf u putfnm fulusn mputrn!n lur. 0n f,tfrnur nu n unsfr!nt nnmfnn nnmnc. F!ndfnt frn cfl mult fnptul, c crnzn lun Nfn nmnn s-n tfrmnnnt nn df rfpfdf. Fu nm fust nfschnmnnt n f,tfrnur. *nr m-n custnt mult putfrf. Fu frnm unusnt, n n durnt mnn multf urf, pn cnd nm fust n stnrf, s m umplu cu fnfrgnf prnn cnlfn mfdntnnfn. *f nnnn dup duu znlf mn-nm rf!fnnt cu tutul! &unn nfncfrfztunrf nm fust tutun, ntuncn cnd Mnchnfl mn-n pu!fstnt dfsprf luptn spnrntflur. Ncum ns nm trnt, ct df rfnl fstf ncfnst lupt, cu cf putfrf trfnunf ndus ln nun sfrnt. Fu n-nm mulumnt lun Mnchnfl, c mn-n dnt nmpulsul curfspunztur. Mnn lun prfn s sf pun cu tnndrff pf umrul mfu. Ncfstn n fust ncfputul, mn-n spus. )u tnmpul !fn n!n s lupn, fr s tf unusftn. *nr s nu df!n supfrfncnnl, s-n prn!ftn tut tnmpul n sfrnus! Fu m-nm nucurnt c frn nlturn df mnnf, n nn nm ndurmnt rfpfdf. Frn ntunfrnc n rfcf. &frfnn nfcnulun suntfrnn frnu umfzn. "rfn nrnnn nprunpf dfznrcnn frnu prnnn cu lnnurn df pfrftf. )hnpurnlf lur frnu plnnf df tfrunrf, unulnnnn n nltf ruztunrf lf-nu mncnt df n pncnunrflf. Npru,nmntn! dnn duu n duu sfcundf pncnu strupn df np pf cnpftflf lur dnntr-u fn! cunstrunt pfntru ncfst lucru. Fr ntrfrupfrf! Hnlf ntrfgn! %ptmnn ntrfgn! 'n nrnnt sttfn n fnn lur n zmnfn n dnrfcnn lur. "ut mfrgfn sprf runnnftul cu np, f!ndfnt n!nd nntfnnn s-l uprfnsc, pfntru n sf putfn nucurn dnn nuu, ln sclnpnrfn df spfrnn, cnrf n lumnnnt dnn uchnn fr f,prfsnf, pfntru n fn nlucunt dnn nuu df tfrunrf. *fudnt s-n nturs turnunnrul, nn cn fu s-n put !fdfn dnn plnn fnn. Fu nm znnfrnt df grunz. Frn Nfn nmnn! Mult tnmp n durnt n ncfn nunptf pn cnd fu nm ndurmnt dnn nuu. "ut tnmpul nu nprut dnn nuu ncfstf nmngnnn ngruzntunrf. *f cf( Fu nu putfnm s cfrcftfz ncfnstn n prufunznmf. Nncn un nnnnnl nu fstf cnpnnnl s chnnunf un nltul. Nncn mcnr pnsncn, cnrf sf unc cu unrfcflf, nu fncf ncfnstn dnn plcfrf, cn numnn dnn nnstnnct, pfntru c, cnrnfn fstf mnn dulcf ln gust dup ncffn. $n ncfnstn fstf unrfcflf ns nn df pnrnlnznt, c fl nu mnn snmtf nnmnc. )um puntf un um s nfptunnsc nn cf!n! )um puntf un um s sf nucurf df chnnurnlf nltunn! )f ffl df ndfprtnrf df ln *umnfzfu fstf nfcfsnr pfntru ncfst lucru! *nr *umnfzfu nu rfspnngf pf nnmfnn. Nncn pf ncftn unmfnn. )f ffl df mn luncf sunt nfcfsnrf, pfntru n dfschndf uchnn unur nsfmfnfn unmfnn, pfntru n lf fncf lnmpfdf grffnln fnptfn lur( % nprfcnfz ncfnstn, nu put! Numnn un snngur lucru l tnu sngur- Nu sunt nncnudnt pfdfpsf! )hnnr dnc n uchnn nftnuturn n nfncrfzturn nn lumnn nrnt ncfnstn nc funrtf mult nstffl. Nu sunt nncnudnt pfdfpsf, numnn ncurdrn df n utur, cnrf nrnt sprf dnrfcnn curfct, dnc cnnf!n fstf dnspus, s sf cunfurmfzf n s prfnn mfsn ul lur. Nstffl !rfn umul s sf fnc udfctur pfstf *umnfzfu. Fl sf snmtf nlfstfmnt snu cfl punn trntnt nfdrfpt n l n ur dnn cnuzn .pfdfpsfn/ grflf, pf cnrf n pus-u *umnfzfu nsuprn lun. $n ncfnstn numnn c nu fstf fl n stnrf, s !nd nuntntfn nfmrgnnnt n lun *umnfzfu, cnrf n fncf nstffl df-nnnn pusnnnl, s gsfnsc cnlfn curfct n tutun s-n pstrfzf !unnn lun lnnfr. Ncfnstn fstf mnrfn dnfncultntf. *nc n-nr fn !unnn lnnfr, ntuncn nr fn pfntru *umnfzfu un lucru uur, s-l nn pf ncfstn ln Fl ntr-u sfcund, fr suffrnn, fr chnn. *nr Fl nr fn dnstrus cu ncfnstn duhul su lnnfr pfntru tutdfnunn, nr fn fcut u fnnn lnnfr s df!nn un scln!. )nnf fstf n stnrf, s pfnsc pf cnlfn cfn ngust, cnrf ducf prnntrf dfcnznn lnnfr n !unnfn n nndmnsnnnln nnflufnnrf( )nnf puntf nprfcnn ncfnst drumfnf pf muchnf n cnnf puntf s fnc crntnc ln ndrfsn mn luncflur, pf cnrf *umnfzfu lf nng n lupt( *nc unul, crunn fu n ntnnd mnn, pfntru c n czut n np, nu !rfn s cuprnnd ncfnst mn dnn ngmfnrf, ntuncn fu tutun nu sunt df!nn, dnc fl sf lupt cu nnfcul. &fntru unul, cnrf plfnc dfpnrtf, puntf prunnnnl s pnr nn, df pnrc fu l-nm rfspnns. Numnn cfl cnrf st nprunpf puntf s mrturnsfnsc cuntrnrnul. *f cf nu-l crfdf nnmfnn( )upnlul puntf fn suprnt pf mnn, cnrf l trngf rfpfdf n dur dnn fnn mnnnnn cnrf sf nprupnf. ) fl n dnturfnz ncfstfn mnn !nnn, tnf numnn cfl cf !fdf - n cfl crfdnncnus. 3 Nfrn n murnt surn Grncnn. *f un tnmp ndflungnt fusfsf fn nunn!, fr s sf fn plns !rfudnt chnnr numnn punn. Fu tnnm, c fn n!fn durfrn putfrnncf, fu putfnm s-n !d nntfrnurul suffrnnd, cffn cf f,tfrnurul fn nscundfn smfrnt. "ut cf fcfn fn, frn u rugcnunf. "ut cf fcfn fn, fcfn fn pfntru *umnfzfu. Nntutdfnunn sf nfln fn ntr-u lfgtur duhu!nncfnsc cu Fl n n mulumfn pfntru suffrnnn, pf cnrf Fl n-u trnmnsfsf. n ntutdfnunn n!fn fn tnmp, n tutdfnunn gsfn fn cu!nntf nlnnttunrf pfntru fnfcnrf. *f n nnnntf cu u sptmn prf!zusf fn munrtfn fn. 'n ngfr n !fnnt ln fn n n-n spus- +nnu, "ntl tf ntfnpt! Nngfrul n-n mnn prsnt-u n ncfnst sptmn, n prfgtnt-u pfntru !nnn nuu, munrtfn trupulun n .nntfrfn/ duhulun. )u trfn urf nnnntf df

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munrtfn fn n lunsf fn rmns nun df ln tun, l rugnsf umnl pf prfut pfntru n u spu!fdn. 'ltnmflf fn cu!nntf sunnu cn u ntrnrf prnn urmnt- *rngustfn lun *umnfzfu fstf sfcrftul %u. %fcrftflf nu nu nncnudnt unncfnul s sf nflf pf us, pf strnd. *nr fnfcrunn, cnrf !nnf ln Fl n l rung pfntru ncfstfn, n fncf cunuscutf ncfstf sfcrftf. 2ul n ncunnt un ln cnmfrn $un cu trfn ncunfturn. )hfnlf ln ncfnstn sunt- drngustfn, smfrfnnn n rndnrfn. )u punn tnmp nnnntf df munrtfn fn nu nprut nln dun ngfrn. Fn nu lunt duhul fn df suflft n mn lucul lur n lnu rpnt, ctrf lumnn. ' dnstnn scurt nm putut fu s-n ncumpnnnfz, ntuncn nu dnsprut fn. Ncfnst nlnmf nc n-u putfnm urcn. &nsrfn n fust nnrn lnnfr# nsunt df trfn !ulturn n znurnt fn pn n cfl mnn nnlt cfr. Fn nu sf mnn ngrn fn df cucn munrt, pf cnrf tun u plngfnu. 3 Mnmn frn dfsfurn ln mnnf. *f un tnmp m !nzntn fn nprunpf fnfcnrf spmn. Fu frnm df nsfmfnfn ndfsfn ln fn n duh, !urnfnm mult cu fn, n ddfnm putfrf. Fu putfnm s n nzgunfsc umnrflf, cnrf u chnnunnu. $n ncfput df fnfcnrf dnt dnn nuu. )u tnmpul prfn fffctul s durfzf tut mnn mult, pn cf flf s-nu rftrns ntr-u nun zn pf dfplnn. *rngustfn crfscusf n fn n furmn mprfun cu rugcnunfn u nfurnrf prutfctunrf n urul fn. Nntrndf!r n fust fn tut tnmpul nnrn cunturnnt df ncfstf duhurn rflf, cnrf u nfc fnu cu ntncurnlf lur n cu dunnnlf lfn, dnr s sf stnnnlfnsc nu mnn putfnu flf. n drngustfn tntlun nfptunsf udnt ncflnn lucru n n prucurnsf ndfsfn lnnntf pfntru un tnmp scurt, urf, n cnrf fn frn funrtf ffrnct cu tntn. % nngf df sfnm tuntf ncfstfn nu putfn mnmn. *nr fn snmfn lfgturn, pf cnrf u cunstrunsfm ctrf fn. Fn l-n prflunt ncum pf *umnfzfu n !nnn fn, gsnsf n sfrnt cf!n pncf. *nr trfcutul fn u chnnunn mfrfu. 2fpruurnlf u fcfnu s suffrf. Nntr-u dup nmnnz s-n prnunt fn, plngnd. Fu n-nm fcut nf n tntlun !nnn nn df grfn. Fu nm fust nn df fr drngustf n fgunst )um s put fu s ndrfpt ncfnstn !rfudnt( )u ct df mult drng n-n fn nnut ncum mnmfn un dnscurs lung dfsprf drngustfn lun *umnfzfu, cnrf nu trfnunf nncnudnt s nfrtf, pfntru c fn n-n ncuznt nncnudnt. *nr pfntru ncfst fnpt nu frnm fu n stnrf. )tf!n gndurn nlnnttunrf putfnm fu s-n fnc nflfsf, n ncfnstn mfrgf df n dfstul df grfu. *nr fu tnnm, cf !urnfnm fu cu fn n duh, ncfst lucru durn prunnnnl punn mnn mult, pn cf n pfn n cuntnfntul fn, dnr ntuncn df!fnfn nstn pruprnftntfn fn. Ncfnstn !fnfn ntuncn dnn .nntfrnur/ n putfn df ncffn s fnf nflfns mult mnn rfpfdf dfct gndurn strnnf n duscunn nurmnl. )t df dfs nu n nu unrnn gndurnlf n !un nn!, spusf Mnchnfl u dnt. )fn mnn muln nu put dnstnngf gndurn strnnf df cflf pruprnn. Nngfrul !ustru fstf ncuntnnuu ucupnt cu fnptul, df n ! nntruducf gndurn, cnrf ! nrnt cnlfn cfn ndf!rnt. Ncfnstn fstf cffn, cf fstf ndfsfn numnt cn scrupulf. *nr ct df uur sunt ncfstfn nnrnn nruncntf cu uurnn! 'n ngfr tutun nu nrf putfrfn, s ! unlngf sprf nnnf, fl dunr nu puntf punf !unnn !unstr n nfnrn strnn df funcnunf. &f df-u pnrtf uptfsc umnrflf nfncftnt nsuprn !unstr, ! cunfnrm n !ncnnlf n pntnmnlf !unstrf, ! ndfnmn sprf fnptf runnunsf n crnmf, ln cnrf flf sf dfsftfnz ntuncn. *f cf nscult numnn nn df muln cu nun-!unn df flf( Nncn ncfstfn nu sunt tutun gndurnlf lur pruprnn. Fu trfnunf s-n fnu tntlun nfsfrnt df mulumntunrf, c fl n rmns ln mnnf! Mnmn m lunsf nnrn nnpun dnn !nsflf mflf. Fu nu n-n fn putut nnf cu prfrf df ru, dnc fl s-nr fn dus, dnc fl n-nr mnn fn putut supurtn !nnn cu ncfnst ffmfnf ncpnnt, fr drngustf. *nr fl frn ncfln, cnrf mn-n prfgtnt cnlfn cu drngustfn lun. Fr fl n-n fn gsnt cnlfn nnpun ln *umnfzfu. Fu nm n !nsnt tut tnmpul nnrn dfsprf tntn, n fl fstf mfrfu nn df nunntur n rndtur cn nnnntf. *n, un mfsn frn drngustfn. Fl !urnfn dfsfurn n duh cu mnmn, cum mn pu!fstnsf Mnchnfl ndfsfn. Nu cuntnfnt, cum putfnm fu s-u fnc ncum. *rngustfn fncf ncfnstn nutumntnc. n mfsn ul fn n ungf tutdfnunn ln dfstnnnnf, chnnr dnc nstn durfnz ctfudnt pfntru nununnlf nunstrf nfsfrnt df mult, dn chnnr n ntuncn, cnd pfntru nun nu df!nnf !nznnnl nnsulut nncn un succfs. )nd!n udnt sunt mprf urrnlf fn!urnnnlf, ntuncn nns rsndul. Nun trfnunf dunr s dm drumul prnn clcnrf ln!nnflur nunstrf mncn. Mnrn df!nn flf ntuncn snngurf. )t df muln cfdnu nstzn ntt df rfpfdf n sf dfspnrt, pfntru c nnmfnn nu lf puntf prftnndf, s trnnsc mprfun cu .nn cnnf!n. Fn nu mnn sunt dnspun, s nduc frtff, s dfn un pns nnpun snu prunnnnl s n slu fnsc u dnt. Fn nu mnn sunt dnspun, s cunsnmt cu cfllnlt, s-l nccfptf pf dfplnn, s-l n utf ln rfzul!nrfn prunlfmflur snlf. 'rnnn df fgunsmul lur pruprnu !d fn numnn grfflnlf snlf Ann znsfB. *rngustfn n df!fnnt dfmudnt- nuturfnlnznrf sf numftf cu!ntul df df!nz! n ln ncfnstn fstf cfllnlt tutun numnn stn fnntur. Fl fstf dunr .fulusnt/ cn un unnfct, nn df dfpnrtf pf ct sfr!ftf fl pruprnnlur nntfrfsf n durnnf - n dup ncffn fstf nnrn nruncnt. Frn nn df frumus df n !fdfn, cum mnmn sf schnmnnsf. Fn sf rugn mult n n n utn pf cfnlnln nn df mult pf ct putfn. $ucrurn mntfrnnlf nsfmnnu pfntru fn cu mult mnn punn dfct nnnntf. *nr ncfstfn nu frnu numnn .cumurn pfntru cfr/, pf cnrf fn lf ndunn. n nncn n ncum n mfrgfn prnn ncfnstn df n cu mult mnn nnnf. Fn n df!fnnt mnn mulumnt. $n tunt muncn n suffrnnn sllunn tutun u ffrncnrf tcut n fn. "ntn sf nucurn cu sngurnn funrtf mult df ncfst fnpt. Fl n-n nrtnt n !ns, cn fn s nu nnn nustnlgnf dup fl n gndurn, cn s sf ucupf df fnptul, cn frnnn mfn, cnrf frnu ncum nmndun df n mnturn n n!fnu fnmnlnn pruprnn, s punt gsn tut nn cnlfn cfn drfnpt. *f mult rndnrf n drngustf !n fn nf!unf pfntru ncfst lucru.

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6 Nnc u dnt nnrn trfnunn fu s fnu dus spfntru nnnlnzf n clnnnc, ntr-u clnnnc unn!frsntnr, n cnrf n-nm mnn fust nncnudnt. Fu !runnm mnn ntn s m upun, nm rfnlnznt ns ncun, c fu nu n!fnm nncn u nns# nstffl m-nm dnt fu n mnnnlf dfstnnulun mfu. *nn tnmpul nccndfntulun nu mnn pnsfm n nncn u clnnnc, n ncfnstn n fust n urm cu u grmnd df nnn. *f n df dfpnrtf m-n cuprnns un sfntnmfnt ru. Ntuncn cnd nun nfnm nflnt n fnn purnn, m-nm spfrnnt fu funrtf tnrf. &fntru prnmn dnt df cnd putfnm .!fdfn/, m-n cuprnns u frnc df nfdfscrns. Frn u nmngnnf df cnus. *uhurnlf murnlur n !nn, nlf nnnmnlflur n unmfnnlur, tuntf df!fnnsfr u mns n fnfrnfrf, nfngr. &fstf tuntf sf nfln un nmfns strngt df n utur duhu!nncfsc. )um n frn cun!n pusnnnl, s lucrfzf nncn, fr s fnf strn!nt df ncfnstn( *uu znlf trfnunn s rmn nncn, mn spusfr fn. Fu trfmurnm cu tut trupul. Nu-mn frn pusnnnl s mfdntfz. Fr ncftnrf m lu!fnu umnrf, nu-mn lsnu nncn cfl mnn mnc luc df lnnntf. Fu l-nm rugnt pf Mnchnfl dup n utur, df-nnnn ntuncn mn-n rfunt, s-mn fnc cf!n spnnu lnnfr n lnnntf cu crucfn df lumnn. Nncnudnt nnrn nu mn-n mnn fust fffctul fn nn df lnmpfdf cuntnfnt cn nncn. 2nzflf fn crfnu un znd, cnrf m nfurn prutfctur. *nr sumnul nu frn pusnnnl. *f ndnt cf nm fust lsnt n pncf df ctrf ducturn, nm cutnt scpnrfn ln Mnchnfl. Muln trfnunf nncn s-n pftrfnc ntrfngn !nn! Fu m-nm untnt ndflung ln ducturn n ln sururn. )n prnzunnfrn ntr-u cntndfl n umnrflur nrtnu fn. *nn tuntf prnlf !fnfnu flf n trgfnu df fn, lf sugfnu tut dnn fn. )nnf !runn nncn s suprn!nfunnsc, trfnunn s nnn u ndf!rnt nntur df tnur - snu s fnf un sfnt. Fu putfnm s-n !d pf unnn dnntrf ncftn sfnnn. 2ugcnunfn n drngustfn n nfurnu cn un curt prutfctur. %mfrnn sfr!fnu fn tuturur, nnfnu tut tnmpul u nucnt df pncf n mnnnlf lur n u mprfnu tuturur, cnrf sf ntnndfnu s prnmfnsc ncfnstn. Nnflfgfrf, nuntntf n nlnntnrf n nfurnu n pf pncnfnnn lur ntr-u mnntnu prutfctunrf. Fnfrgnn, pf cnrf fn u fmnnnu mfrfu, curgfn fr nncftnrf cn ndnus dnn sffrn duhu!nncfsc-dumnfzfnfnsc, un nz!ur cnrf nncnudnt nu sfcn pfntru ncfln, cnrf rung n sf rung pfntru n prnmn ncfnstn. %un cnmfrn mfn trfnunn s sf nflf curtfn df dnnnnntf sprf nnd. Numnn cu prutfcnn lun Mnchnfl nm ndrznnt s m duc nculu. Frnu duhurnlf n zfcn df mnn df nnnmnlf, cnrf umplfnu ncpfrnlf cn u mnrf spumfgnd dnn lncrnmn, frnc n rfpru. Nncnudnt n-nm !zut fu lucrurn mnn ngruzntunrf, nncnudnt u suffrnn mnn mnrf. $n chnnurn nfnmngnnnnnlf trfnunnu ncfstf nnnmnlf s fn fust pusf. Frn nndul! )rfnt prnntr-unn dnntrf cflf mnn ngruzntunrf crnmf nlf umfnnrnn, !n!nsfcnn. )u trupul !nu, fr nnfstfznf fusfsfr multf dnntrf ncfstf nnnmnlf upfrntf. *nc f,nstn u cunl pfntru drncn, ncfnstn df nncn trfnunn s fnf. *uhurnlf nnnmnlflur, nltffl fnnf nn df !nunnf, frnu dfsfngurntf pn ln nfrfcununtfrf. *uhul nnnmnlflur nu sf nfl nncn pf dfpnrtf nn df strns n trup cn ln unmfnn. *f ncffn puntf un nnnmnl s supurtf mult mnn uur durfrn .nurmnlf/. 'n nnnmnl suffr df rfgul ln rnnrn n nuln nncn pf dfpnrtf nn df tnrf cn un um. unrfcflf, cu cnrf sf unc pnsncn, zfnrn, pf cnrf n prnns-u lful, muscn, cnrf n fust prnns df pnnn fn, flf nu suffr ln ncfnstn. *uhul lur sf dfprtfnz ntt df dfpnrtf df trup, c fl rmn nfturnurntf df ncfnstn. Numnn chnnurn nlf schnngnunrnlur nfumfnftn put ducf ln nnnmnl ln fnptul, c duhul su fstf n fl nnclus, c fl suffr chnnurn nlf nndulun n fstf n nn ffl df dfsfngurnt, cum fu nm gsnt ncfnstn nncn. *f cf( &fntru cf( 'n rspuns ln ncfstf ntrfnrn nu fstf pusnnnl. Nn cn n cum dnntr-un rznun nu puntf nncnudnt s nns pncf ndf!rnt n dnn nfnurucnrfn nlturn nncnudnt ffrncnrf ndf!rnt, nstffl nncn nu sf lns nncnudnt n!nns prnn sufrnnn nlturn pruprnn nunl. *nn durfrf, strmturnrf n munrtf - n snu f,nct ntuncn cnd fstf !urnn df nnnmnlf - nu puntf nncnudnt s fnf nscut sntntfn. Mfdncnmfntf n mftudf df upfrnnn, dfz!ultntf prnn f,pfrnfnf pf nnnmnlf, put fn ln prnmn !fdfrf plnnf df n utur ln multf nuln. &fr tutnl ns prncnnunfsc flf df n prnn fffctflf lur nd!frsf cu mult mnn mult pngun, dfct sunt flf untnlf, fcnd cu tutul nnstrncnf df urmrnlf duhu!nncfsc-suflftftn, cnrf cntrfsc nc cu mult mnn grfu. Munrtfn nu puntf crfn !nn. Ncfnstn fstf lfgf! $un Mnchnfl nsun nu-n frn uur s rmn lnnntnt. Nnc nncnudnt nu l-nm !zut nn df fmununnt. &fntru nfnumrnt df multf suffrnnf nlf umfnnrnn fstf rfspunsnnnl ncfnst crnm! Nntr-ndf!r nsntunt prnn ncfnstn n-n fust pn ncum nc nnmfnn! Nun nncn mcnr nu putfnm ncurdn n utur. Frn ngruzntur! Fu frnm nucuruns, s plfc nnrn rfpfdf df nculu, df us. *nr nmngnnnlf mn-nu rmns u !nn ntrfng n nmnntnrf. 'scnlnnnlf ngruzntunrf, cnrf sf rspndfnu dnn ncfst luc, nnfnu ntrfngn clnnnc cn prnzunnfr. 0n dnmnnfn urmtunrf nm fust cuntrulnt df ducturul %tfrn. *nn .grffnl/ frn tut ncfl ductur, cnrf m-n chnnunt dup nntfrfn, n prnmn mfn nntfrnnrf n spntnl. *nr df dntn ncfnstn nm rfunt s nnu sfntnmfntflf df ur n df rfpru, dn, nm rfunt chnnr s lf schnmn n drngustf. Fl fstf un prnnzunnfr nl mfsfrnfn snlf, mn-n spus Mnchnfl. Nnn ntrfgn, df n df cnd n-n ncfput spfcnnlnznrfn fstf f,pus ncfstur !nnrnnn. Fl nsun n trfnunt s fnc f,pfrnfnf pf nnnmnlf. *f muln nnn n sf spunf, c npnrntflf sunt snngurflf, pf cnrf fl sf puntf nnzn. *f nntunnf nu !urnftf nnmfnn. *umnfzfu fstf n cfl mnn nun cnz !nlnnnl pfntru crnlf df pu!ftn. Ncfnst cunl nu lns u nlt nltfrnntn!. 'nt-tf cu ntfnnf ln ducturul %tfrn. Fl nu fstf ru. Fl fstf cun!nns, c fncf cffn cf fstf drfpt. Fl fstf cun!nns, c puntf !nndfcn. )nnf n

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n!nt u spfcnnlnznrf cum fstf n sn, s nnn ncrfdfrf dunr n npnrntf, cnnf n n!nt, s sf untf dunr ln pnrtfn nulnn! n nu ln ntrfgul um, cnnf n n!nt, c nu sf cndf s n nrntf sfntnmfntflf, cnnf fstf dup ncffn nruncnt fr *umnfzfu n spntnl, fstf f,pus pfrmnnfnt !nnrnnnlur nnmncntunrf n nfgntn!f, cnnf .nfn/ .sngflf/ nnnmnlflur df f,pfrnfn, pfntru cnnf df!nnf suffrnnn u nurmnlntntf, cum puntf ncfln s df!nn sfntnmfntnl n s-n nrntf drngustfn( Nntrfnn-tf mnn nnnf cum fstf pusnnnl, c f,nst nc ntt df muln, cnrf nu mfrs prnn ncfnst munr n nu lf sunt strnnf cu!nntflf drngustf n n utur, cnrf put s snmt n ln tutul cf trfnunf s fnc, !d nc ntrfgul um n fnn lur. 0n fn n prnmnt *umnfzfu df n u lucunn, chnnr dnc fn dfsfurn nu tnu ncfst lucru. "f cust ncum mult curn df snnf, s tf nturcn nnpun n curpul tu n s nccfpn cunsultnnnlf ncflfn durfrunsf, fu tnu ncfst lucru! *nr s nu tf mnn nturcn nnpun, nr nsfmnn ln ffl cn n u snnucndfrf. "u nn nflfs ncum, c durfrfn n suffrnnn nu fstf nncnudnt fr sfns. Flf chnnunfsc curpul ntr-ndf!r, dnr punrt tutun ntutfnunn un mfsn . *f unncfn sun nn- Nntunrcf-tf! "u tf nfln pf drumul grfnt! nnf-tf dup urdnnfn drfnpt n lun *umnfzfu, n f-n grn n rffrntunrf ln !nlurnlf spnrntunlf! )nnf !rfn s-n nghfsunf spnrntul n mntfrnn strmt, cnnf l furfnz, s sf ucupf df sntnsfncfrnlf trupftn, cnnf n nlfgf nlnmfntflf dunr dup gustul su, cnnf n rpftf spnrntulun su lnnfrtntfn prnn dfpfndfnf, ncfln nu nrf !unf s sf mnrf c spnrntul su suffr. Nunln n suffrnnn sunt un strngt df n utur nl spnrntulun n n!frtnzfnz umul, cn fl s sf ntunrc. "nnlftflf n npnrntflf nu put !nndfcn, dn - flf nncn mcnr nu nu !unf! %fnsul !nfnn nu fstf, s trfcn prnn tuntf cu un curp sntus. "rfnunf s ! dfn mnn mult ucnznn, s prugrfsnn spnrntunl, s ! dfschndfn drngustfn. Nculu undf dumnn urn, suprnrfn, cfnrtn, nfmulumnrfn n nn!ndnn, nu puntf s rmn un curp sntus. Ncfstf !nnrnnn ndncn n nfgntn!f schnmn n nn ffl !nnrnnnlf pruprnn nlf curpulun, c ncfstn sf mnuln!ftf. Nu fstf u pfdfnps, cn un strngt df n utur- )f!n nu fstf n rfgul! *unr schnmnnrfn gndnrnn, ntunrcfrfn, l puntf nsntun dnn nuu. "nnlftflf put s nmflnurfzf, dnr flf nu put s !nndfcf! )nnf sf lns .mncnt/ df frncn sn, ncfln s fnf mulumnt, ntuncn cnd nunln l n!frtnzfnz n !rfn s-n spun- "u nu ftn curpul tu, tu ftn spnrntul tu, nu-n fncf grn n df curpul tu! % nu-n fnf tfnm dnn cnuzn lun, flf fstf fr nncn u nmpurtnn! Nndrfnpt-n duhul sprf *umnfzfu, n tfnmn sf !n f!npurn, dfunrfcf nu !n mnn fn nfcfsnr! *unr trfnunf nflfs ncfst mfsn ! "rfnunf s !rfn s-l nflfgn! Nunln nu fstf nncnudnt dnn grffnl, fn nu fstf pru!ucnt df nnctfrnn n !nrun. Nuln nnffcnunsf n lu!ftf rnrfurn pf unnn. F,nst sufncnfnn unmfnn, cnrf nu suprn!nfunt lfprfn n cnumnn, cu tuntf c n-nu n utnt pf cfn nulnn!n, fr n fn ntr-un ffl prutf nn! *rngustfn fstf un scut sufncnfnt. )ffn cf dfclnnfnz nunln fstf pruprnn cumpurtnrf grfnt, nclcnrfn urdnnnn dumnfzfnftn. *f nnnn ntuncn df!nnf pruspfr tfrfnul pfntru nnctfrnn n !nrun. *nr dnn pcntf mn urntntfn nu pnfrdut ncfnst lfgtur. Fn nncn mcnr nu mnn sunt cnpnnnln, s rfcununsc sfmnflf cflf mnn f!ndfntf. %N*N fstf unul dnntrf ncfstf sfmnf. Fnfcnrf tnf, c, df rfgul, sf puntf mnuln!n lumfn df fn dunr ntuncn, dnc n dnu fru lnnfr durnnffn trupftn, n sf,unlntntf dfplnsnt snu n dfpfndfnn df drugurn. n n luc s nlturf mutn!flf, s sf ntunrc nnpun n urdnnfn dumnfzfnnsc, sf cnut pusnnnlntn, s duc drumul mnn dfpnrtf n cu tut fflul df mn luncf n flfmfntf df sngurnn s scnpf df nn znsn .pfdfnps/. *nc nr fn ncfnstn u pfdfnps, ntuncn nu nm putfn fn df ncurd, dnr nm putfn s nflfgfm. )cn sf puntf uculn u pfdfnps, dnc unnn nfnrm cu !ucfn tnrf, c sunt ntt df nntflngfnn. *nr pfdfpsf nu f,nst! Fstf dunr u urmnrf n trnnulun df !nn grfnt. n ncfnstn nu sf !n putfn uculn df ffl. *nr cfl trznu ntuncn, cnd tuntf nfnrnlf sunt nfundntf, cfl trznu ntuncn fn !ur unsfr!n, c f,nst un drum mnn snmplu, cnrf cunducf tut tnmpul sprf succfs- s sf ntunrc n s rfcununsc dnn nuu urdnnfn dumnfzfnnsc. )um puntf !nndfcn un ductur u nunl dnc nu-n cununtf cnuzn( Fstf npru,nmntn! nn, cn n cum cnnf!n nr ncfnrcn s f,tfrmnnf u crtn , prnn fnptul c n dnstrugf muurunul. Mnnf n !n dn dnn nuu ucnznn s-u fnc. *nc nstzn .!nndfcn/ stumncul, mnnf !n fn nffctnt nnnmn, snu nntfstnnul, snu ...! "u pun dnstrugf urnctf muurunnf !rfn, sf !ur nfnnnn tut tnmpul nltflf. Nncftfnz dunr ntuncn, cnd crtnn fstf prnns. *f ncffn !nndfc-n spnrntul! n ntuncn tu nu mnn trfnunf s-n fncn grn n dnn prncnnn trupulun! )hnnr n muln dnntrf cfn cf !nndfc spnrntul mfrg drumul grfnt. *nc n lnn pf ncftn nrlntnnn dfupnrtf, ntuncn muln sf lnmntfnz s !nndfcf cu duhul curpul. *unr punnn sunt n stnrf, s nlturf cnuzflf spnrntunlf. *unr ncfst lucru cunducf sprf u !nndfcnrf pfrmnnfnt. *nc cfrf unul muln nnnn pfntru muncn sn, ntuncn tu pun s fn sngur, c nu nrf putfrfn dumnfzfnnsc, cu cnrf fl tf !nndfc. *nrurn spnrntunlf nu sf put !nndf. *umnfzfu nu sf lns pltnt n unfltflf snlf nncn ntt. Ncfst lucru fstf !nlnnnl pfntru tuntf dnrurnlf spnrntunlf. *nc cnnf!n n prnmnt df ln *umnfzfu hnrul, cn fl s punt !fdfn snu s snmt n !nntur, ntuncn ncfstn l !n drun, ndnc l !n dn dunr cn s sf punt ntrfnnf. Nnnnn sunt cfn mnn nun n cfn mnn ffncnfnt dfscupfrnrf n dnn!ululun, n cnnf sf unc cu fucul, nu nrf !unf s sf mnnunfzf, dnc sf nrdf dnn grffnl ln dfgftf. )t df punnn sunt cnpnnnln, s gsfnsc cnuzn n s !nndfcf ntr-ndf!r duhul! Muln cnrf !nndfc duhul, ct n ductrurn, nfnrm c fn put !nndfcn nnsulut tutul. Mulumnt *umnulun nu sunt fn cnpnnnln df ncfnstn! Fn nr lun ntuncn umulun ultnmn nns, cnrf n-nr furn ntunrcfrfn. &fntru muln n fust nunln lur mutn!ul, prnn cnrf fn nu rfnunnt ln tut cf fstf mntfrnnl n s-nu ndrfptnt sprf *umnfzfu. %nu cf s-nr fn ntmplnt, dnc Nnnndn 2nmn tf-nr fn !nndfcnt( Fl n-nr fn lunt cf!n! *funrfcf pfntru tnnf fstf nmpurtnnt ncfnstn/nunl/, dn /fstf !ntnl/. Fn n df!fnnt cfl mnn nun prnftfn nl tu. Fr ncfnst nunl nu nn fn n!ut nnsn, s tf dfz!uln mnn dfpnrtf. *nstrncnnlf, grnnn n lfnfn tf-nr fn cuprnns n n-nr fn nlucnt drumul spnrntunl. n fr ucnznn df n n!n umnlnnn, drngustfn n rndnrfn, nu tf-nn nfln tu nstzn nncn. %nu unt-tf ln cfnlnn hnndncnpnn, pf cnrf tu n cunutn df n. &fntru tun fstf nmpurtnnt .nunln/ lur, fn n nrf rustul fn!

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*n - fnfcnrf dnntrf nun putfn s fnf mulumnt pfntru nunln sn, cnrf uffrfn spnrntulun mn luncflf cn fl s sf dfz!ultf n s n!ff, cffn cf un .um sntus/ n!n dunr funrtf grfu. Fstf u trfnpt df dfz!ultnrf. )um un fluturf trfnunf s fnf ntn u umnd, pfntru cn s sf punt dfz!ultn, nn npnrf n n dfz!ultnrfn umulun un punct, undf u nunl fncf pusnnnlf f,pfrnfnf, cnrf nltffl nu sf put fncf. &fntru unul sntus, cnrf nu !rfn, s sf untf n spntflf lucrurnlur, put s sunf ncfstf cu!nntf punn cnudntf. *nr spnrntul st pfstf tuntf. 3 Mntthnns nrf df nnnn cnncn nnn, n fstf pnrnlnznt spnstnc n surdu-mut. Ntuncn cnd fl n !fnnt ln nun, mn s-n .prfzfntnt/ mnf nn- Nm n!nt s n ut. Fstf cf!n frumus, cf!n sntnsfctur. Fstf nnnf, dnc pun n utn pf cnnf!n. Ncum trfnunf s n!, cn fu s m lns n utnt. Ncfst lucru fstf cu mult mnn grfu. 0n ncflnn tnmp put s lf dnu nlturn pusnnnlntntfn s n utf. *n, s tf lnn n utnt, fstf cu mult mnn grfu, dfct s n un. *nr fnfcnrf, cnrf !rfn s n utf, nrf nf!unf df cnnf!n, cnrf fstf prfgtnt, s sf lnsf n utnt. n f,nct ncfstn fstf mutn!ul n multur nuln. &rnnnn lun nu nu !rut s fnf n prfn mn lur u nstffl .df pucntnnnf/. &n ncum s-n ucupnt nunncn sn cu mult drngustf df fl, n-n dnt cldurn nfcfsnr unun um cu hnndncnp, cu tuntf c fn frn funrtf grn! nulnn! n df nnnn mnn putfn s mfnrg. %nu puntf c chnnr dnn ncfst mutn!( *f ln Mnchnfl tnnm, c u nstffl df lfgtur, cum nu cunstrunt-u fn dun, !n nnf pf !fcn. Nncn u furtun nu u !n putfn rupf !rfudnt. Ncfstfn sunt fructflf spnrntulun, pf cnrf nun trfnunf s lf ndunm nncn, pfntru n putfn trn dnnculu cu flf. Nnnn nu n putut pn ncum s nn nnmfnn cu fl. *nr ncum n n!ut !unf nunncn lun s prsfnsc ncfst pmnt. Nn n n uns Mntthnns ln nun. %pnrntul su frn mnn lnnfr dfct ln cfnlnln. Fu putfnm s m .nflfg/ nnnf cu fl, chnnr n ntuncn cnd fl frn trfnz. *uhul multur unmfnn cu hnndncnp nu fstf nn df strns lfgnt df curp, cn n ln unmfnnn .nurmnln/. Ncfstn fstf n mutn!ul, c muln dnntrf fn nu snmt nn df tnrf durfrfn, cn n unmfnnn .nurmnln/. %pnrntul lur fstf mnn dnstnnnnt, fl nu trfnunf s sf ndfntnfncf cu curpul, dfunrfcf durnnflf lumftn, mntfrnnlul, grnnn n strfsul nu l unlng. Ncfstfn sunt unflf dnn ncflf .drfpturn/ pf cnrf un um cu hnndncnp lf nrf. *nr pf df nlt pnrtf fn supurt multf lucrurn. &fntru snnf, pfntru n nnnntn u nucnt pf drumul lur grfu, dnr n pfntru nlnn, cn s lf dfn ucnznn cn s n utf n s lf dfschnd uchnn cu mfsn ul lur mutNu curpul fstf cffn cf !nlurfnz, fl fstf nmpfrffct n trfctur, nmpurtnnt fstf s pun trfcf pfstf fl. *unr duhul rmnf pf !fcn, nmpurtnnt fstf s-l lnn s crfnsc!

3 Nnrn nm pnt nlturn df Mnchnfl drumul strmt df pdurf n us, pf lng cnscndn df np, sprf mncul lnc, lng cnrf sttfnm nun dfsfurn. &fntru prnmn unr nm unsfr!nt, c flurnlf frnu ntutdfnunn nflurntf, pumnn n!fnu ntutdfnunn fructf, frn tut tnmpul plcut n cnld, tutul frn mnnunnt, fr cn fu s fn unsfr!nt !rfudnt c pluun. Ntuncn cnd fu m-nm gndnt funrtf nnnf ln ntrfnnrf, pfntru cn fu s nu m nlnmfz prfn tnrf, n ncfput Mnchnfl s-mn zmnfnsc. Nu f,nst nnrn ln *umnfzfu. "utul fstf plnn df !nn. Nntutdfnunn! Nnmnc nu fstf trfctur, nnmnc nu sf puntf ufnln. "utul fstf ntutfnunn n flunrfn !nfnn. &lunnn, sunrflf n hrnnn fstf nfcfsnr dunr pfntru lumfn mntfrnnl. $umfn spnrntunl fstf 7rnstus ntru tutul. &utfrfn %n ptrundf n tutul, df ln Fl trnftf tut cf fstf. %urn Gnrcnn nr putfn s-n pu!fstfnsc ctf cf!n. ' mn m-n ntnns uur pf umr. Fu m-nm nturs. 'n ngfr tnr sttfn n fnn mfn. %urn Gnrcnn, cum nn n uns nncn! Fn n ncfput s zmnfnsc. Ncfst lucru tf-n putfn ntrfnn n fu pf tnnf. *n, ncfst lucru frn ndf!rnt. Mnchnfl, df mult nm !rut fu s tf ntrfn cf!n. Fu cunusc ncum ctf!n fflurn df nuln. %fnsul lur, pusnnnlntnlf lur. *nr cf sfns n n!ut suffrnnn surfn Gnrcnn( Fn n n uns nn df dfpnrtf n lfgturn fn cu *umnfzfu, c nu n mnn n!ut nf!unf df nunl, pfntru n gsn drumul cfl nun. *n, ncfst lucru fstf ndf!rnt! $n *umnfzfu f,nst mnn multf pusnnnlntn, n ncfnstn fstf unn dnntrf flf. Fu nm n!ut !unf s sufr, drng Nnrnnrn. N fust u mnlustn!nrf dnn pnrtfn lun *umnfzfu. Nu pfntru mnnf nm rndnt fu, cn pfntru nlnn. Nn cum Nnsus n suffrnt n mnrf pfntru nun tun, nn nm n!ut fu !unf s sufr punn pfntru cn!n. n nu sunt chnnr ntt df punnn, cnrf sf rung pfntru ncfnst mnl n u n prnmfsc. %fcrftus s-n untnt fn ln Mnchnfl. Ncfstn n dnt nfnrmntn! dnn cnp. n tu ftn unn dnntrf ncfnn. Fu( *n! Nncn tu nu mnn nn nf!unf df durfrnlf tnlf pfntru dfz!ultnrfn tn. *nr tu lf supurn n lnnntf n cu df!utnmfnt. F,nct ncfnstn fstf, cf fu nm !rut s spun. *nr cum fstf pusnnnl( Fnfcnrf trfnunf s-n mfnrg pruprnul drum. Nu puntf s n sf sucutfnsc lun mfrntflf nlturn. Ncfst lucru nr nlturn dunr !unnn sn lnnfr.

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Fstf unul dnntrf sfcrftflf lun *umnfzfu, cnrf fstf funrtf grfu df nflfs. Nncn fu nu sunt n stnrf, s nflfg ncfnstn ntru tutul. )hnnr n cflf mnn nnltf duhurn nu tnu tutul. *uhurnlf crfsc tut tnmpul n nflfpcnunfn lur, n nfmrgnnntn nflfpcnunf n lun *umnfzfu fstf sufncnfnt pfntru !fcnn !fcnlur. *nr cffn, cf fn nu nflfg, ncffn nccfpt fn umnln n crfdnncnun. &rnn ncfnstn sf dnffrfnnnz fn fnurm df mult f df !un unmfnnn. Fn tnu, c put s nnn ncrfdfrf n *umnfzfu, c sf put nnzn pf Fl. *umnfzfu n-n pus nc nncnudnt !rfunn dnntrf lfgnlf %nlf n nfnrn !nlnnnlntnn, n Fl nncn nu !n fncf ncfnstn !rfudnt, nncn cfn mnn nfnsfmnnt. *fsngur nr fn Fl n stnrf df ncfst lucru, n dfsngur nr putfn Fl cu ncfnstn s grnfnsc funrtf nmfns dfz!ultnrfn fpturnn. *nr Fl nu fncf. Fl n crfnt pfntru fpturn %n lfgn clnrf n drfptf, n Fl sf nnf df ncfstfn. *nc nr fncf Fl u dnt u f,cfpnf, nncnudnt nnrn nu s-nr putfn nnzn fpturnlf $un pf dfplnn pf Fl. tnn tu ncum, cf nsfnmn n .crfdf/( "u pun dfcn s fnn pf dfplnn sngur, c Fl tnf s fulusfnsc rugcnunfn n suffrnnn, cnrf sunt frtfntf pfntru nlnn, n nn ffl, nct s fnf plnnf df n utur, fr n punf !unnn lnnfr n nfnrn !nlnnnlntnn. Nn ncrfdfrf n Fl! Fu frnm ffrncnt. 7nndncnpul mfu, ncfstn frn nmpurtnnt n nfcfsnr pfntru mnnf. Ncfst lucru l tnnm nnnf. *nr durfrnlf, cnrf nu df!fnnt n ultnmul tnmp tut mnn putfrnncf, m-nu chnununt cu dunnn. &fntru c fu nu putfnm nflfgf sfnsul lur, lf-nm cunsndfrnt n sfcrft df n cn fnnnd fr sfns. ', ct df nfncrfzturn suntfm nun tutun! Nndnr, dfunrfcf fu tnnm, c flf lf sfr!fnu nlturn cn n utur, m nucurnm fu dnn ncfnst cnuz. 0n ultnmul tnmp nm n!ut fu !unf s lf ncurd ctur!n n utur n nm putut s schnmn unflf lucrurn n mprf urnmfn mfn. Ntrnfn ndmnnnstrntunrf n-nm ndfprtnt pu!nrn fn. Fu trfnunn, cf-n drfpt, s m ucup fnfcnrf zn dnn nuu df ncfnstn, pfntru c fn nu frn nncn pf dfpnrtf ndfn uns df putfrnnc, s rfznstf ln ntncurnlf umnrflur. *nr fn fcfn ncuntnnuu prugrfsf mncn. Fn df!fnnsf mnn prnftfnuns, gntn s dfn n utur, cnd sf rugn, frn fn n n nntfrnur pnrtncnpnnt ln ncfnstn. Funrtf ncft, nprunpf nfunsfr!nt cunstrunsf fn un cmp n urul fn, cnrf nu mnn lsn nn uur s !nn ln suprnfn sfntnmfntf n gndurn nfgntn!f. Fn nu tnn mutn!ul, dnr fn ngn df sfnm, c frn cf!n df fn, cf n fcfn trfnnn mnn uunr. Ntuncn s-n trfznt nnnflf dnn fn, n fn lucrn cu tunt furn n cffn cf prn!fn pfrsunnn fn. "rfnnn n cffn cf prn!ftf pfrsunnn pruprnf, ncfnstn n-u puntf prflun nnmfnn df ln tnnf, ccn, nltffl, s-nr fn spus tutun cu !unnn lnnfr. Nntr-ndf!r sunt dfsfurn pnfdncn prfzfntf, cnrf pnr df nftrfcut. Nns, df ndnt cf ncfpf muncn n cffn cf prn!ftf pfrsunnn pruprnf, df ndnt cf fstf nntfprnns ncfrcnrfn sfrnuns, s tf schnmnn, s dnn sfntnmfntflf n gndurnlf nfgntn!f pruprnn n schnmnul drngustfn n pfntru Nnsus 7rnstus, ntuncn n fstf cnnf!n df fn, cnrf nlung pnfdncnlf dnn cnlf. &runnnnl nu mnnf, prunnnnl nncn pun-mnnf. )tfudnt !n fn nfcfsnr, s rfzntn mult tnmp, pfntru c n !unnn n rndnrfn !ur s fnf nntrfnntf. Nnmfnn nu lf puntf prnmn cn cnduu. &unrtn df ln nchnsunrf, pf ncffn u !ur dfschndf nlnn, dnc u zgudunftn dfstul df mult tnmp. *nr dus nfnr nu !fn fn, trfnunf s mfrgn tutun snngur. 3 n FrDnn fcusf prugrfsf nmfnsf. Fl frn numnn uur hnndncnpnt curpurnl, suffrfn ns df u schnzufrfnnf prununnt, df ln nl trfnlfn nn df !nn nl su. Ncfnst dfspncnrf n pfrsunnlntnn frn nn df putfrnnc, c fl trfnunn mfrfu s nn mfdncnmfntf df lnnntnrf. &rnn ncfnstn df!fnfn fl ns nn df rfdus, c nu mnn frn n stnrf, s-n fulusfnsc mnntfn, s nn dfcnznn df unul snngur. Fl df!fnnsf un scln!. 0n stnrfn nurmnl frn fl un nnnt drgu, cnrf fcfn tutul pfntru nltcnnf!n. )nd n!fn crnzflf lun, frn fl Nnpulfun. Fnfcnrf frn dumnnul lun, n fl ntncn cu tuntf, cf n frnu ln ndfmn. Fnn lun, nfnnrfn lun, nn chnnr ntrfngn lun fnnn sf schnmnn df fnfcnrf dnt pf dfplnn. )hnnr n lnmnn sunn nltffl. )nd nm !zut fu pfntru prnmn dnt, cffn cf sf ntmpln nncn, nu !runnm s crfd ncfnstn. &rfn fnntnstnc frn cffn, cf !zusfm fu. Nncn nu mn-n fust lnmpfdf lfgturn lugnc. Nstffl, l-nm rugnt pf Mnchnfl dup un sfnt. "u nn !zut tutun curfct, mn rspunsf fl. %unt ntr-ndf!r duu duhurn, cnrf sf cfnrt pfntru trupul lun. *uhul nnntulun n un nltul, cnrf rfunsf, s sf trnnspun nn df tnrf n curp, c nnntul nu mnn puntf scpn df fl dnn putfrfn pruprnf. $n ncfnstn n nnu mfdncnmfntflf, pf cnrf trfnunf s lf nn mfrfu, nc n ultnmn nns df rfunt. *nr - cum fstf ncfnstn pusnnnl( &rnn nnumntf ntmplrn nmpurtnntf puntf duhul s sf ndfprtfzf funrtf dfpnrtf df trup. *nc ntuncn un nlt duh sf fncf n ncfst tnmp stpn pf trupul lun, puntf s sf ntmplf, c, ln rfnturcfrfn lun, fl nu mnn puntf s scnpf df unspftflf nfpuftnt. &rfdumnn ntuncn u lupt cuntnnu ntrf cfn dun. )nd unul ctng, ntuncn fl stnpnftf pfstf trup. )nd cfllnlt ctng pfntru un tnmp suprfmnnn, ntuncn trfnunf trupul s-l nscultf. *funrfcf tutun n rflnffflf curpurnlf sunt dfpfndfntf df duh, sf schnmn ntuncn ndfsfn n ntrfngn nfnnrf df nspfct n ncfstun um rfgrftnnnl. Numnn c nncn fstf sntunnn cn n ln tuntf- cffn cf nu !fzn, ncffn nncn nu crfzn. ' mnrf pnrtf dnntrf ncfnn, cnrf n duc f,nstfnn lur nlnnc prnn snnnturnnlf psnhnntrncf, fncf pnrtf dnntrf ncftnn. *fspncnrf n pfrsunnlntnn u numfsc psnhulugnn. Fn nncn mcnr nu tnu, ct df mult drfptntf nu fn cu ncfst cu!nt. F,nst n cnzurn, undf sf stnnnlnfsc duhul snu duhurnlf nn df putfrnnc n trup, c stpnul df drfpt nu mnn puntf nnsulut df luc s !nn nnpun. Nncn ncfnstn nu fstf nn df rnr. *nc duhul prsftf nncuntnfnt trupul, dfcn n sumn, nu sf puntf ntmpln nnmnc. "rupul fstf pznt cn un rfgf. Ncfnstn fstf unn dnntrf snrcnnnlf nunstrf. n nun suntfm df ncrfdfrf! *nc ns duhul sf dfprtfnz cuntnfnt df trup, ntuncn trfnunf n un nct cuntnfnt s-l prutf fzf! Ncfnstn fstf u lfgf n fstf n lfgtur cu dfcnznn lnnfr n !unnfn. *f ncffn fstf ntt df nmpurtnnt, cn tu s tf ngrn ftn df u prutfcnf nnnntf df fnfcnrf mfdntnnf- prnn rugcnunf n prnn crucfn df lumnn! F,nst n nltf pusnnnlntn, cnrf lf utnlnzfnz mnn nlfs !r nturnn df mngnf nfngr. Ncfstf duu sunt ns cflf mnn putfrnncf, n tu tf pun ntutdfnunn n pf dfplnn ncrfdf n ncfstfn. Muln nn numnn mfdnumn nu pltnt df n cu

>4

.pnfrdfrfn/ trupulun lur ncfnst nfgln nrf n mrfnn lur pruprnf snu n nfsucutnnn lur. +nnn, pf cnrf u punrt ntuncn cn .nfnunn/, nncn mcnr nu mnn mfrnt ncfst numf. Fstf u munrtf !nf, pf cnrf u suffr. Fu !rfnu s-n nrt, cnrf n fust ln FrDnn mutn!ul. 0n succfsnunn rnpndf nm !zut fu ntuncn nmngnnn dnn cupnlrnn lun. "ntl su n czut prnd nlcululun. Nntutdfnunn, cnd fl nfn, ntfn ntrfngn lun fnmnlnf, n pf mncuul FrDnn. *f duu urn fusfsf fl df n n spntnl dnn ncfnst cnuz, ln un nn n umtntf n ln dun nnn. &rnmn unr fusfsf fl prfsrnt df sus pn us cu !ntn# fl nr fn czut us pf scrn, sf spunfn. N duun unr n!usfsf fl rupt mnn - u cdfrf ln unc pf strnd. Ntuncn cnd fl cu cfn nprunpf trfn nnn nn sn fcfn n pnt nunptfn, s-n pnfrdut tntl su pf dfplnn cu fnrfn. Fl l-n ngnt n cndn df nnnf n npn rfcf n l-n nnut nn df mult sun np, pn cf df!fnnsf fl nncuntnfnt. Ntuncn s-n ntmplnt ncfnstn. *uhul su nu putusf suffrn ncfst uc n sf dfprtnsf dnntr-u dnt funrtf dfpnrtf df trup. Nndnr - unn dnntrf multflf umnrf, pf cnrf tntl su lf purtn mfrfu cu fl, s-n fcut df ndnt stpn pf trupul su. $un FrDnn n-n rfunt, cf-n drfpt, nc rfntunrcfrfn, dnr fl nu mnn frn snngur. Nncn urm df cnn n-n nrtnt tntl su. n ntnlf lf putfn fl ncupfrn. FrDnn n n uns ntr-u cns df cupnn, n cnzul n fust nchfnnt. )nncn sutf df mnn df cupnn sunt fnfcnrf nn mnltrntnn numnn n Gfrmnnnn, mn spusf Mnchnfl. *nntrf ncftnn trfnunf pfstf u sut df mnn ngrn nn stnnunnr n spntnl. Nns cflf mnn multf cnzurn sunt munmnlnzntf n sunt dntf drfpt nccndfntf. n ntuncn sunt unmfnn, cnrf nc l mnn numfsc pf dnn!ul u nfnnrf dnn pu!ftn ! ' nfnnrf dnn pu!fstf funrtf !nf, mn pnrf mnf. Nntrfntunrf nm prn!nt ln Mnchnfl# fl ddfn numnn dnn cnp, n df ntuncn m-nm ucupnt fnfcnrf zn nntfnsn! df FrDnn. Fu ncfrcnm s-l mnulzfsc n nfnr pf dumnnul lun, l-nm .mprucnt/ cu crucn df lumnn n nm n!ut succfs funrtf rfpfdf. *f n prnmn dnt n pnfrdut fl df ndnt stpnnrfn nsuprn trupulun. Fl df!fnfn !nznnnl tut mnn mult fr !lng. Nmputrn!nrfn lun pfrnudnc frn numnn u ntlnf df rftrngfrf. &unnf sptmnn dup ncffn s-n s!rnt. &f dfplnn ustfnnt trfnunn fl s sf rftrng. $umnnn n!nngf ntutdfnunn, mn spusf Mnchnfl, chnnr dnc ctfudnt durfnz mult, chnnr dnc ctfudnt sf rftrngf pf dfplnn, pfntru n n!fn ntuncn un cu ntt mnn mnrf succfs cu un ntnc prnn surprnndfrf. % spfrm, c fn sf ntunrcf ncun nnrn nnpun n ncfnst lumf! FrDnn n urncf cnz frn !nndfcnt. Nunlf mfdncnmftf n-nu fcut fffctul funrtf rfpfdf, frnu df prfrf ducturnn. &fntru sngurnn nr trfnun fl s lf mnn nn nc cn!n nnn, cn u rfcndn! s punt fn nlturnt. *nr nfgln fnn n dfzurdnnf nu sunt ntutdfnunn nfgntn!f. 0n ncfst cnz n-nu fcut lun FrDnn pusnnnl, s duc ncun u !nn dfstul df nurmnl. 7nndncnpul lun curpurnl uur nu nffn mnn dfpnrtf n f!ndfn. Fu frnm pfstf msur df nucuruns, numnn ntrfnnrfn *f cf m mnn prfucupn. ) nu f,nst cunncndfn, tnu fu, n c nu frn u pfdfnps, n pf ncfnstn u tnnm. )nd nf-n prnsnt FrDnn - fl mplnnnsf ntuncn !rstn df upstsprfzfcf nnn n putfn nnnf s sf nn pf cunt pruprnu - nm !zut fu dnntr-u dnt un nrnnt n fnn mfn, cnrf ndfmnn un prnftfn ln nut ntr-u rund !fsfl. Mfrfu dnn nuu fl l prflucrn, l numfn un slnnnug n um fr !unn, cu tuntf c tnn, c ncfst nrnnt tnr nu putfn supurtn nlculul. Mfrfu nnrn n!fn fl succfs n sf nucurn rfgftf, cnd ncfstn frn ntuncn nfnt. *nr n-n durnt mult tnmp, n fl dfczusf pf dfplnn prnd nlcululun, n fust rfspnns df fnmnlnn lun n n murnt cn!n nnn mnn trznu n mnzfrnf. Nntr-ndf!r n prfn n sfcrft ncum ru ncfstun um df grffnln lun. 0n f,tfrnur nffn fl ns prnn ncffn dnn nncurctur, c fnfcnrf nr trfnun dunr dfsngur snngur s tnf, cf fncf fl. &fstf un nunstr df ln nntrnrf sf nfl u nnscrnpnf mnrf. &f ncffn st scrns- &utfcn nturtuchnntf, umnrf n lumnn, tuntf sunt mnl, nu tf nfrncun. *nc FrDnn n nflfs ntr-ndf!r ncfnstn( &f muln nm n!ut fu !unf s-n n ut. Nntutdfnunn ncnunnm nsuprn duhulun lur, n-nm flnnfrnt df umnrflf lur, lfnm nntrudus gndurn, cn s punt gsn cnlfn cfn curfct. Ncfnn, cnrf frnu dnspun sprf n fncf ncfst lucru, nu pnt pf ncfnst cnlf cu nucurnf. Nulnlf lur nu dnsprut snngurf, dup cf mutn!ul ncfsturn, schnmnnrfn grfnt n trnrnn !nfnn, fusfsf nlturnt. Nns frnu n muln cnrf nu frnu n stnrf df ncfnstn. Fn snmfnu ntr-ndf!r uurnrfn, nu !runnu ns s sf ustfnfnsc. Fn frnu prfn lfnfn, pfntru n-n schnmnn unncfnurnlf, fn frnu prfn slnnn, pfntru n sf rfdrfsn n s-n dfn !nfnn lur u nlt dnrfcnf. 'ndf fstf u !unn, nculu fstf n u cnlf. *nr dnc !unnn lnpsftf, sf !n nstupn n cnlfn nnrn. 7 Nnrnn fusfsf frnguruns n ndr nt, dnr ncum s-n fcut prnm!nr. %unrflf strlucfn nc punn cnm tnmnd, !ntul frn nc punn cnm rcurus, dnr psrnlf cnrnpfnu nn df tnrf n !fsflf, n ntrfngn nntur prfn s sf nucurf cu flf nsuprn pntflun. &fntru prnmn dnt n ncfst nn nm n!ut nun !unf s fnm nfnr, nfnr dnn culn!nn, cu cnrf sf nchndf u umfnnrf nftnutunrf fn df nntur. Nun, pfrsunnflf cu hnndncnp, suntfm tutun mult mnn putfrnnc lfgnn df nntur. &f df-u pnrtf fstf duhul nustru mult mnn lnnfr, nu fstf nn df tnrf lfgnt df curp, n, n nl dunlfn rnd, nu fstf fl nlucnt df ctrf .strfsul znlnnc/. Nmnduu nu grn , cn nun s putfm snmn nnturn mult mnn nprunpf df nun. ' pfrsunn cu hnndncnp puntf df rfgul s sf nntruduc cu snmnrfn mult mnn nnnf n nntur. Fl sf snmtf c npnrnnf df nntur, snmtf ncffnn pru!fnnfn n nnturnn n n umulun- *umnfzfu! Fl puntf !urnn cu psrnlf, puntf nflfgf lnmnn pnsncnn, fl puntf pumulun s-n dfstnnunf nnnmn n tnf, c ncfstn l !n

>5

nflfgf. Multf crfnz duhul n nscuns, cffn cf .umul curpurnl/ nu puntf cuprnndf cu cflf cnncn snmurn nlf snlf. Frn cfl mnn frumus, s nm !unf s m .duc ln plnmnnrf/ prnn pnrc. )nd !rfmfn frn fn!urnnnl, frn mnmn df fnfcnrf dnt nfnr cu mnnf n m mpnngfn n scnunul cu rutnlf sun pumn, df-n lungul cmpnnlur n!frzntf n n gnrdulun nnnf-mnrusntur. Fu nu mn-n fncf nttfn ustfnfln, fn tutun nu nrf nncn un ctng df ln ncfst lucru, nn spus udnt cnnf!n mnmfn mflf. Ncfnstn nu fstf curfct! Nu cu pncnunrflf, nu cu un trup sntus, nn nncn chnnr cu u mnntf sntuns nu sf snmtf nntfns nnturn. *uhul snngur fstf n stnrf df ncfnstn. Numnn c - pf ncfln nu-l !fzn. )t df multf nu s nf spun pumnn! "cun stnu fn nculu. Nn df nn n ncflnn luc. Fn nu sunt u mntfrnf munrt. 'n pum trnftf. n cum! Fl fstf un urnn plnn df fnfrgnf, un ndf!rnt .pnchft df fnfrgnf/. $n un pum pun s tf umpln df fnfrgnf, n fl fstf cu drng dnspus ln ncfnstn, dnc l rugn pfntru nn cf!n. 'n pum nu fstf murt. Fl puntf snmn! Nltffl dfct nun, dnr tut nn df nntfnsn!. 'n pum snmtf durfrf, dnc n sf prncnnunftf pngun, dnc n dfcu ftn scunrn df f,fmplu snu dnc n tnn rnmurnlf. %trmunn nutrn tnnu nc ncfnstn. &rufnnnrfn df pumn frn funrtf sf!fr pfdfpsnt. )u sngurnn nu dnn cruznmf, cn dnn tfmflnn ncfstfn cununtfrn. .&umul mfu/, ncfln frn u znd mnrf, mrfn nprunpf df prul mnc. *f sfculf sf nfln fn n ncflnn luc, tcut n df!utnt. 'n f,fmplu df mudfl pfntru smfrfnnf n rndnrf. )t df mult nm putfn nun n!n df ln pumn, dnc nun nf-nm lun tnmp sprf ncfst lucru! *nc tf prfgtftn suflftftf nsuprn unun pum snu n unfn plnntf, pun snmn uscnlnnnlf, cnrf sf rspndfsc df ln ncfstfn. &un s fncn schnmn sf sfntnmfntf f,nct nn cn n cu un um. 'm pum puntf s-n fnf un prnftfn. Fl fstf u fptur n lun *umnfzfu cn nun, nscut dnn drngustfn $un. )flf cnncn snmurn nlf nunstrf nu pfrmnt ncfnst rfcunutfrf. ' pfrsunn cu hnndncnp ns, n crun duh prnmftf mnn mult spnnu lnnfr prnn tulnurnrfn snmurnlur, puntf ndfsfn s !nd n spntflf ncfstur lucrurn n sf snmtf nnstnnctn! lfgnt df nntur. %urn Mngdnlfnn trfnunn s fnn tnut df ncfst lucru. Fn lun mult ustfnfnl nsuprn fn, pfntru n nf ducf nfnr nn df dfs pf ct frn pusnnnl. Fn rfunsf, cn nun s n n!fm !unf u dnt s cununtfm cu un nutunuz mprf urnmfn nprupnnt. Frn fnfcnrf zn u zn df srntunrf. *fsngur, frn ustfnntur, s mpnngn scnunflf cu rutnlf pfstf crrnlf df pdurf, dnr fu n sunt funrtf mulumntunrf pfntru fnptul, c fn nf-n drunt multf nsfmfnfn urf ffrncntf. Mnn nc un lucru n putut s nmpun fn, df un nn df cnd fn n !fnnt ln nun. &n ncum nu nu f,nstnt nnnmnlf. Nu n fust !unf. Fn ns n ndus ctf!n pnsncn, pf cnrf mn urntntfn dnntrf nun lf-nu prnmnt cu mnrf drng, nn c nncn nu mnn putfn fn !urnn df !rfu sfpnrnrf. Nntrf tnmp n!fm df n zfcf pnsncn n trfn cnnn mncn, cnrf sf snmt funrtf nnnf ln nun. &fntru un um hnndncnpnt fstf un nnnmnl u mnrf nnnfcu!ntnrf. )untnnn sn nu cunstrunftf .dnffrfnf df rnng/ n nncn nu trfnunf s du!fdfnsc, c fl fstf ncfln putfrnnc. 'n um cu hnndncnp puntf cu snmurnlf snlf s nnsunrn ntru tutul un nnnmnl. n ntuncn cnd nu mnn f,nst .dnffrfnf df rnng/, ntuncn df!nnf nnnmnlul un prnftfn, ntuncn nrf fnfcnrf fnnnn crfnt df *umnfzfu ncflfnn drfpturn - n tutul, cf fstf n lun *umnfzfu, trnftf. 3 +nnn mfn n fust dnntr-u dnt nn df plnn, df cnd n!fnm !unf s n ut pf nlnn. 0n fnfcnrf zn m nprupnnm df *umnfzfu prnn rugcnunf n mfdntnnf n Fl mn trnmntfn n utur spnrntunl, nculu undf frn nf!unf df fl. Fu nm n!ut !unf s !nndfc snu s nmflnurfz nuln, nm n!ut !unf s dnu curn n nlnnnrf, nm n!ut !unf s nltur dnn drum nnrnfrf, cnrf nu nprut ntrf *umnfzfu n cfn cf cutnu. Fu nm n!ut !unf s n n ut pf muln s scnpf df grfutntfn lur, nm n!ut !unf s-n flnnfrfz df umnrf. *nr n unnn dnn .nmprnn umnrflur/ sf lsnu cundun cu drng. Nu sunt dunr duhurn rflf# dfsfurn sunt n .suflftf srncf/, cnrf nu nu gsnt nc drumul. )n sunt n znun df nstzn cnrf nu mnn crfd ntr-u !nn df dup munrtf! Fn sunt cun!nnn, c sf tfrmnn tutul dup munrtf. Nm putfn fn df prfrfn, c dup munrtf fn sf !ur cun!nngf df cuntrnrnul prunlfmfn. Nncn dnn grffnl! Mnn nlfs ntuncn, cnd fn mur nfntfptnt, nu sunt dfluc prfgtnn, df unncfn nu tnu nncn mcnr, cf s-n ntmplnt df fnpt. &fntru unul cnrf trnftf sun ncfstf cu!nntf funrtf cnudnt. *nr dnc sf punf cnnf!n n ncfnst sntunnf, sf puntf nflfgf*nc unul crfdf, c dup cf n murnt fstf .murt/, ntuncn nu-n trfcf gndul prnn cnp, c fl s-n nflnt, cn fl fstf df prfrfn, c nu n murnt. Fl trntf, n pfntru c dup munrtf ftn .murt/, nu fstf pusnnnl cn fl s fn murnt! Ncfst lucru fstf lugnc dunr, snu nu( Fl unsfr! ntr-ndf!r c cf!n nu fstf n urdnnf, dnr fl nu-n puntf f,plncn ncfnstn. Fl nu fstf undf!n n .lumfn df npun/ nnnf sfpnrnt snu ntr-un luc strnn numnt .purgnturnu/. Fl fstf n cuntnnunrf nculu, f,nct nculu, undf fl n murnt. n fl puntf !fdfn n nuzn tutul, chnnr n mnn nnnf dfct nnnntf. $un n sf pnrf dunr cnudnt, c cfnlnln l .lns dfupnrtf/, c fn nu mnn !urnfsc cu fl. Fu nm !zut muln, cnrf nnu cuntnnunt sfr!ncnul! Fn !fnfnu cum frnu unnnunn ncns pfntru n mncn, durmn n mfrgfnu ln mfcnurnlf df futnnl. Fn nu unsfnr! nncn fnptul, c put dfudnt trfcf prnn zndurn n un nchnsf. Muln prn!fsc pruprnn lur nmurmntnrf n sf ntrfnn, cf s-n ntmplnt nnrn. $n sf pnrf ntr-ndf!r cnudnt, c fstf tut tnmpul ntt df ntunfrnc, c sunrflf nu mnn rsnrf, c nu mnn pluu dfluc. *nr fn nu n dnu sfnmn, cf s-n ntmplnt ntr-ndf!r. Muln nn ln nnumntf lucrurn lumftn, pf cnrf lf-nu nunnt, fnf un dulnp, u lnp funrtf frumuns, u cnrtf, cnsn lur snu un nnstrumfnt muzncnl. Fn nu sf put dfsprnndf df cffn cf fstf mntfrnnl. )hnnr dnc ncfstf cu!nntf sun n fn dnn pu!ftn, sunt tutun ndf!rntf! % nu nf nmngnnm ncum nmfdnnt, nn df pnrc nun nm fn .dnnculu/ cu cunutnnn nunstr. Nn s-nr prfn nmfdnnt nltffl mprf urrnlf. *nr cunutnnn nu mnn fstf! *unr fncf pnrtf dnn curp, n ncfln fstf murt! 2mnf dunr suflftul spnrntunl. n ln ncfn unmfnn, cnrf nu s-nu ucupnt df fn n tnmpul !nfnn, fstf ct sf puntf df srnc. Fn fstf .hnndncnpnt spnrntunl/, n ncfnstn n cfn mnn mnrf msur. Ncum sf

>6

put nflfgf mnn nnnf ncfstf rfncnn. *uhurnlf sunt dfsfurn mrgnnntf n trfnnn lur prnn rudflf lur nprupnntf. )t df dfs sf ntmpl, c u .sunf nunntunrf/ nu nflfgf pur n snmplu, c suul fn n murnt. Fn n punf cn df unncfn mncnrf n fnrfurnf, !urnftf cu fl cn n nlt dnt, l durftf nprunpf. %nu ntuncn cnd munrf un cupnl, pf cnrf mnmn nu !rfn s-l lnsf s plfcf! Fstf cfl mnn ru lucru, cf sf puntf ntmpln ncfstur suflftf. Fn sunt prnnn n ncfn nunptf n dfsfurn nu nf!unf df funrtf mult tnmp, pn cnd fn gsfsc drumul cfl drfpt. n ct df uur put fn fn n utnn. "rfnunf dunr s-$ rugnn pf 7rnstus, cn Fl s trnmnt un ngfr, cnrf s lf nrntf drumul. Nun trfnunf s nf rugm pfntru ncfnn cnrf nu murnt. Muln sunt nfn uturnn, n cununtfrfn lur fstf fgnl cu cfn n unun cupnl! Fstul nf-n ntrfcut n ncfnstn. 0n "nnft f,nst nn znsn .cnrtf tnnftnn pfntru murn/. ' pnrtf fstf cntnt cu rfgulnrntntf cflun cnrf n dfcfdnt curnd. Ncfnst cnrtf cunnnf tutul, cf trfnunf s tnf fl dfsprf !nnnn df dup munrtf n dfsprf drumul pf cnrf trfnunf s-l mfnrg. Fstf cfl mnn mnrf n utur, cnrf n sf puntf uffrn unun dfcfdnt, dnc fstf *umnfzfu rugnt, cn Fl s-l cunduc sprf drumul cfl drfpt. Nu fstf drfpt cn s fnn df nfcunsulnt ln munrtfn unun um drng. Fu nm trnt ncfnstn chnnr cu tntl mfu. Fl n fust ns ntt df n!nnsnt spnrntunl, c nu n fust rfnnut df ncfst lucru. Muln sunt nc mult prfn unmfnn, cn s punt s stpnfnsc sntunnn. Fn !ur s-n cunsulfzf rudflf n rmn nc mult tnmp mprfun cu flf, nnr ncfst lucru fstf n dffn!unrfn dfz!ultrnn lur. *rngustfn nu nsfnmn, s uprftn pf cnnf!n n dfz!ultnrfn sn. Nnsfnmn n prnmul rnd, s-l lnn s-n mfnrg drumul, dnc fstf pfntru fl mnn nnnf n mnn frumus n s tf nucurn mprfun cu fl! F,nst multf pupunrf, ln cnrf munrtfn unun um fstf u ffstn!ntntf. % tnf fn unrf mnn mult, dfct lumfn cn!nlnznt( Munrtfn nu fstf nncnudnt u cunncndfn, nncnudnt! Nu fstf ncn mcnr u pfdfnps! &fntru nnmfnn! Munrtfn nsfnmn tfrmnnnrfn unun stngnu df dfz!ultnrf. Fstf f,nct ncflnn lucru, cn ln un studnu. "untf mntfrnnlf trfnunf s fnf ucupntf. Nu fstf df fulus, dnc ncfln, cnrf fstf ductur n df!fnnrf, prnmftf urf dunr ln nnntumnf. Nmfdnnt dup cf fl n n!nt ncfnstn, d fl un tfst n ucup u mntfrnf cnrf l ducf sprf spfcnnlnznrf. *nc nu trfcf tfstul, ntuncn trfnunf cn fl s rfpftf dnn nuu cursul. %f mnn puntf ntmpln, c nu trfcf ntr-u nnumnt spfcnnlntntf n tfstulun su, n ntuncn trfnunf fl s rfpftf dunr ncfn pnrtf. Nnr *umnfzfu fstf un pruffsur mnlustn!! Fl nu lns pf cnnf!n s cnd dffnnntn!. Fnfcnrf puntf s rfpftf tfstul. *nr fl trfnunf s tfrmnnf n cursul cnrf fncf pnrtf dnn ncfl tfst. *f ncffn, fnfcnrf ntrfnnrf dup un .*f cf/ fstf nnutnl! )ursul s-n tfrmnnnt, n u nlt mntfrnf sf !n prfdfn n urmturul sfmfstru. Nnmfnn nu cununtf .stnrfn df dfz!ultnrf/ n cflunlnlt. *f ncffn nu puntf spunf nnmfnn- )f rust n n!ut, dnc un cupnl n murnt df n dup duu znlf df ln nntfrfn sn. )hnnr n snrcnnn, dnr mnn nlfs nntfrfn, n chnnr n munrtfn fnc pnrtf dnn mntfrnnlf nunstrf df tfstnrf! Flf cunnn nttfn trnrn, c nncnudnt nu !n fn fr rust, s trnftn .dunr/ ncfst lucru. n muln sunt nf!zturn. 'nul cnrf !fdf ru puntf s !nd lunn. *nr nfnumrntflf n nmfnsflf stflf fl nu lf !n !fdfn nncnudnt. *nr u pusnnnlntntf nrf fl cn s punt nfln ncfnstn- crfdnnn! Fstf nnnf, dnc nn !unf s n un. % nccfpn ns n uturul, s m lns n utnt, ncfst lucru n fust u trnrf nmpurtnnt pfntru mnnf. n fu sunt mulumnt n ffrncnt dnn ncfnst cnuz. *nr cu ct df mult fstf mnn frumus, s pun n utn! *rngustfn fstf cn un numfrnng. Ndf!rntul fgunst fmntf drngustfn, ntt df mult ct puntf fl. Fl u prnmftf ns df sutf df urn nnpun. )u nnnnn fnfcnrf prucfdfnz nn. Nn dfpunf n nnnc, cn s nduc dunnzn. *nr drngustfn, !rfn fnfcnrf s-u nn pfntru fl. )um puntf s nduc ntuncn dunnzn( *umnfzfu trnmntf fr ntrfrupfrf drngustf, drngustf curnt. Fl prnmftf df ncffn cfl mnn mult nnpun. )ffn, cf fstf dfscrns prnn fgunsm, fstf f,nct cuntrnrnul. Fstf !urnn df cnnf!n, cnrf n f,punf fguul Andnc pf snnf nsunB n f,tfrnur, fstf ncfln, cnrf nu fstf prfgtnt s n utf n s drunnsc, n cnrf strngf !nlurn mntfrnnlf pfntru snnf. )t df nfffrncnn sunt n rfnlntntf ncftn unmfnn! )t df dfs trfnunf s sf dfspnrt, ct df dfs trfnunf s fug df nlnn, dfunrfcf fn sunt df prfrf, c mnn put prnmn n nlt pnrtf cf!n, cf nc lf lnpfstf! )u tuntf c sunt nugnn, cu tuntf c nu multf nctn!ntn n schnmnrn prfmnnfntf, fn srcfsc cu tutul n nntfrnurul lur. )nnf n cnut ffrncnrfn dunr n lucrurn mntfrnnlf, ncfln n lns spnrntul s munr df funmf n chnnurn! )nnf nn n ncfnrc s mnncf ct mnn mult dnn pr nturn, cnrf fstf pfntru tun, ncfln nu trfnunf s sf mnrf, dnc n sf fncf ru dup ncffn. Ndf!rntul fgunsm fstf ncfln, dnc fu fnc cf!n cf mn nducf un nfnnfncnu, n cf put s pstrfz dup ncffn pfntru mnnf! )fl mnn trznu ntuncn cnd sf nnstnlfnz munrtfn sf .cunfnsc/ nunurnlf mntfrnnlf, dnc nu mnn df!rfmf dnn cnuzn lucrrnlur mflf rflf. Ndf!rntul fgunst strngf cumurn spnrntunlf. )cn pf ncflfn lf puntf lun cu fl n pf lng ncfnstn prnmftf n dunnd, nnr fnfcnrf nnnchnfr nr n!fn dnn cnuzn ncfnstn lncrnmn n uchn. Fu nm supurtnt multf durfrn n ultnmn !rfmf. )u tuntf ncfstfn nm fust fu ffrncnt. % nnn cnnf!n nf!unf df tnnf, s nn !unf s n un, s lucrn nctn! n mnrfn crfnnf n lun *umnfzfu, cf lucru puntf fn, unrf, mnn frumus( )nnf nu n n!ut nncnudnt ncfstf sfntnmfnt, fstf cfl mnn srnc um dnn lumf. 0ntr-u slu n fstf ncfstn cfl mnn nurmnl lucru. *nc nrf cnnf!n un ff nun, sf strdunftf, cum puntf fl mnn nnnf. Fl ncfnrc, sf df!nn df nfprfunt n sf nucur ntuncn cnd l lnud fful su n n d df nflfs, c nrf nf!unf df fl. n n !nn, s fnf unrf chnnr ntt df dnffrnt(

3 Nntr-u zn l-nm ntrfnnt pf Mnchnfl- Nm n uns fu ncum ntt df dfpnrtf cn Nnnndn 2nmn( Nncnudnt nu l-nm !zut fu mnn surprnns.

>9

Fu !d df n, c tu nu nn n!nt cfl mnn nmpurtnnt lucru, n tu nu-l !fn nflfgf, nttn tnmp ct !fn n!fn gndurn fgunstf. Fu nm !rut s prutfstfz, fu nm !rut s-n spun, c nm df!fnnt un f,fmplu n drngustfn n umnlnn. Fu nu-n fnc nnmnun !rfun rfpru, chnnr dnc sunt trntnt cu nfdrfptntf. Fu nunfnm pf tunt lumfn, n utnm spnrntunl pf fnfcnrf, fr !rfu dnffrfn. Fu nu m crfdfnm mnn prfsus dfct nltcnnf!n, chnnr n nnnmnlflf n plnntflf lf cunsndfrnm fnrnn n sururnlf mflf. *nr Mnchnfl, cnrf putfn s-mn cntfnsc gndurnlf cn ntr-u cnrtf dfschns, nu n nccfptnt nncn u scuz. "u nn drfptntf, mn-n spus fl. )u tuntf ncfstfn, tu nu nn trfcut nc df ultnmul unstncul. Fstf grfu df f,plncnt, dnr fstf n mnn grfu df nflfs. "u n nunftn pf tun, spun tu. Ncfst lucru fstf drfpt. "u ftn funrtf ffrncnt df ncfst lucru, tf nucurn ntuncn cnd drngustfn tn fstf nccfptnt, tf nucurn df zmnftul df mulumnrf nl cflunlnlt, snu nu( *n, nm spus fu, Ncfst lucru fstf ndf!rnt! Ndf!rntn drngustf nu nrf nf!unf df succfs! Fn sf nucur dunr df fnptul c puntf nunn. Fn nu ntfnpt nncn u rfncnf. *nc tu tf nucurn ntuncn cnd drngustfn tn fstf nccfptnt, ntuncn ftn nutumnt trnst, dnc fn fstf rfspnns, snu nu( *n, nm spus fu, ncfst lucru fstf drfpt! *nr dnc tf fncf ffrncnt dunr fnptul, c nn !unf s dnn drngustf, fr s cnun succfsul( Ntuncn fu nu mnn put fn nfffrncnt! +fzn tu ncum dnffrfnn( *nc nm nunn nun cn n mn urntntfn unmfnnlur, ntuncn nr fn cfrul un ndf!rnt nnd! &lnn df trnstff n suprnrf! )t df dfs nlung unmfnnn drngustfn nunstr( )t df dfs fstf nruscnt *umnfzfu( Fl nr fn prnn urmnrf cfn mnn nfffrncnt crfntur dnn ntrfngn crfnnf! Nntr-ndf!r, drngustfn fstf cn un numfrnng! *nr dunr drngustfn nnsulut n nfmrgnnnt. *nc f,nst nntfnnn, s ntfpn cf!n n schnmn, ntuncn nu fstf nun prnncnpnul. *nr drngustfn, cnrf pur n snmpul nunftf numnn, n utur, cnrf fstf dunr n utur, pfntru c cfllnlt nrf nf!unf df fl, dunr pfntru fnptul c f,nst ncfn pfrsunn, ncfnstn fstf ntuncn drngustf ndf!rnt. *unr fn fncf ffrncnt pf !fcn, n urncf trnstff n nn sfrntul. Ncfnstn nu nsfnmn, c nun suntfm urnn n nu putfm !fdfn suffrnnn. )hnnr dnn cuntr! *nc un cupnl sf nccndfntfnz grn!, df rfgul puntf unul dnn nfnr, cnrf sf cuncfntrfnz nsuprn cupnlulun, s-l n utf mult mnn nnnf dfct mnmn, cnrf fstf cuprnns df trnstff n df durfrf, n cnrf trfnunf s sf luptf cu pruprnnlf fn sfntnmfntf. ' pnuz lung m-n lsnt snngur cu sfntnmfntflf mflf. )f tnnm fu dfsprf drngustf( )f tnu unmfnnn df fnpt dfsprf drngustf( Nu f,nst prunnnnl un nlt cu!nt cnrf nrf nttfn pusnnnlntn. )f tf nucur mnn mult, s n un pf unul snngur, snu pf mnn muln( &f mnn muln, nnnfnflfs! Mnchnfl zmnfn n ncfst lucru fstf grfnt. Fstf unul mnn nfnmpurtnnt dfct mnn muln( Fnfcnrf fstf ln ffl df nmpurtnnt cn cfllnlt. Nu fstf nn cn n ln mfrf, undf duu cntrfsc mnn mult dfct unul snngur. Fnfcnrf nrf fnnnn sn pruprnf. 0n tunt crfnnn nu f,nst duu fnnnf cnrf s fnf ln ffl. *f cffn fstf nmpurtnnt fnfcnrf. *nc nr fn tun ln ffl, ntuncn nn n!fn tu drfptntf. )nncn nr fn ntuncn mnn nmpurtnnn dfct unul snngur. *nr fnfcnrf fstf nltffl, n fflul su fstf df nfnlucunt. *nc tu nn un cfns cu cnncnzfcn df rutnf, n tu nlturn dunr unn snngur, ntuncn cfnsul nu mnn funcnunfnz. &un tu ntuncn s spun, c cflflnltf pntruzfcn n nuu df rutnf sunt mnn nmpurtnntf dfct ncfn unn( )u sngurnn nu! nnf nnnf mnntf cf n spun- fnfcnrf fstf nmpurtnnt, ln ffl cn urncnrf nltul. n *umnfzfu nu lns pf nncn unul s sf prpdfnsc. Nncn mcnr unul! *nr !n fn nf!unf ln unnn df ustfnfln mnn mnrn, s-n nducn nnrn pf cnlfn cfn nun, dfct ln nlnn. *nc tu n nrn numnn unun snngur um cnlfn cfn drfnpt, n n!ut !nnn tn cfl mnn mnrf sfns, n tu nu ftn cu nnmnc mnn punn !nluruns n nu nn nfptunt cu nnmnc mnn punn, dfct dnc nn fn n utnt tu cnncnzfcn df unmfnn. *umnfzfu nu fstf un nfgutur df nnnmnlf. Fl nu punf fnptflf pf cntnr, Fl nu msunr n =nlugrnmf snu n chnntnlf. Fl msunr dunr drngustfn, pf cnrf tu nn f,pfdnnt-u. Numnn pfntru ncfnstn ftn tu rfspunsnnnl. %uccfsul, pf ncfstn ls-l n sfnmn lun *umnfzfu. Muln fufnz n ncfnstn. Fu tf-nm dus nlnlt-nfrn n mfdnntnnf ln dunmnn Hnfgflnnufr. "u nn ncfrcnt s-u nlnnn. Fn fstf un f,fmplu df f,cfpnf pfntru ncfnstn. Fn sf plngf mfrfu, c nu f,nst nnmfnn, pf cnrf l puntf n utn. Fn nrf dunr numnn ussflf-ul fn. Fn nr !rfn cu ntt df mult drng s-n n utf pf tun unmfnnn, nr punf cu ntt df mult drng lumfn rfn n urdnnf n l nn!nnunftf pf *umnfzfu, c fl nu-n d nncn u ucnznf, s nfptunnsc fnptf mnn mnrn. n df nttn cumptnmnrf df snnf fn nu fstf n stnrf, s-n n utf Gussflf-ulun fn. Numnn pfntru ncfstn fstf fn nnumf nncn. Fl nrf nf!unf urgfnt df n uturul fn, fl sf dnstrugf, dnc fn fncf nstffl mnn dfpnrtf, n fn n-nr putfn dn nn df mult, c !nnn fn s-nr fn rfntnt df zfcf urn. Nngrn ftf-tf n tnmpul urmtur dnn cnd n cnd df fn, n ncfnrc s-n fncn ncfnstn lnmpfdf. Mnn f,nst nc tutun spfrnn n prn!nnn fn. )n !ur s uncf pf pustul df unmfnn cnrf mnuntfsc lumfn, sf cumplnc cn mnrn !urnnturn, n dfmunstrnnn n n clunurn, dnr nu !d, c ncfln, cnrf sf nfl lng fn, sf dnstrugf, pfntru c fn nu-l unsfr!, pfntru c fl lf pnrf mult prfn nfnmpurtnnt, pfntru c fn nu-l nunfsc, pfntru c fn n rfnlntntf sf nunfsc numnn pf fn nnn. tnn tu ncum, cf fstf drngustfn( &unn nnntut nm dnt fu dnn cnp. Nu fnn trnst. n pfstf ncfst unstncul !fn mnn trfcf tu nc, ntrfngn !fnncnf sf nfl n fnn tn. Nncn fu nu nm tfrmnnnt cu n!turn. Nnmfnn n-n tfrmnnnt !rfudnt cu n!turn. *umnfzfu fstf ntt df nfmrgnnnt, c !fnncnn nu fstf ndfn uns, pfntru n-$ cuprnndf pf dfplnn. *nr ncfnstn fstf chnnr pnrtfn frumuns. &lnctnsfnl nu f,nst nncnudnt. n n!nrfn n muncn nu sunt, cn pf pmnt, lfgntf df ustfnfnl. % n!m n s muncnm fstf cfn mnn nnlt nucurnf pfntru nun.

>:

*nc tu nn nflfs drngustfn curnt, ntuncn put fu ncum s-n rspund ln ntrfnnrfn tn- "u ftn df mult df n mult mnn dfpnrtf dfct Nnnndn 2nmn. Nfncrfztunrf m-nm untnt fu ln fl. )um fstf pusnnnl ncfnstn, dfunrfcf fl nfptunftf tutun nn df mnrn fnptf, dfunrfcf fstf fl nn df nflfpt n nun.( "u gndftn df n nnrn ntr-un mud curnt umfnfsc. Nu dup nflfpcnunf trfnunf tu s tf ustfnftn, nu dup fnptf multf. "u trfnunf s-$ nunftn pf *umnfzfu mnn mult dfct pf tnnf nsun n pf nprunpflf tu cn pf tnnf nsun! Ncfnstn fstf tutul! Nstn nsfnmn ns, unt-tf mnn ntn, cn tu s n ungn ln *umnfzfu. Nnsus 7rnstus n numnt cnlfn- Fu sunt cnlfn. Nnmfnn nu puntf n ungf ln "ntl dfct prnn Fnul. *nr, cn df unncfn, nu sf mulumfsc unmfnnn cu cffn, cf cntfsc fn, fn trfnunf s schnmnf nmfdnnt sfnsul. )u ncfnstn nr fn !urnn dfsprf .cuntnfnn lun 7rnstus/. 7rnstus, ncfstn nm fn nun tun, ncfstn nr fn prnncnpnul drngustfn n mnn multf nltflf. Nu! Nnsus spunf funrtf clnr- Fu sunt cnlfn! n Fl s-n rfffrnt ln ncfnstn tf,tunl. )nnf !rfn ntr-ndf!r s n ung ln *umnfzfu, cnnf !rfn s unnn ndf!rnt stnrf df cupnl nl lun *umnfzfu, ncfln trfnunf s mfnrg cnlfn prnn Nnsus 7rnstus. ' nlt cnlf nu f,nst! n ncfnst cnlf sf puntf gsn numnn pf pmnt. )nnf n-n gsnt-u nncn, ncfln n-u !n gsn nncn .dnnculu/! 'nnn nugn n sfnnn, fn nu rfunt funrtf multf, fn nu n uns funrtf dfpnrtf, dn, fn put fnn funrtf nprunpf df *umnfzfu. Fn nu muncnt mult pfntru ncfnstn, nu lunt multf nsuprn lur, nu ndus multf frtff n nu trnt multf lnpsurn n rugcnunf n cnn. Fn nu ndunnt funrtf mult nflfpcnunf. *nr ultnmn u n-u put dfschndf dnn pruprnn putfrf. &f fn u dfschndf Nnsus 7rnstus dunr ncflurn, cnrf l rung umnln pfntru ncfst lucru. Ncfstn fstf cfl mnn mnrf sfcrft nl ntrfgnn crfnnn. Nnnndn 2nmn s-n dfz!ultnt funrtf dfpnrtf. Fl nrf df n df mult ncfnst prfsnmnrf. Fn l-n ndus nncn. *rngustfn lun fstf nn df putfrnnc, fn l !n ducf ntr-un tnmp scurt snu lung ln Nnsus 7rnstus. *nr ncfnstn trfnunf s fnf dfcnznn lun lnnfr. %-l unlngf sprf ncfst lucru, nu nrf nnmfnn !unf. Fl nsun trfnunf s mfnrg cnlfn ln Nnsus 7rnstus. Fl prnmftf ncflfnn n utunrf cn fnfcnrf. *fcnznn trfnunf ns s-u prncnnunnsc !unnn lun lnnfr. Multur unmfnn nflfpn lf fstf funrtf, funrtf grfu, s sf nplfcf n umnlnn. *f ncffn nu fstf nncn ncfnst cnlf cfn mnn uunr. *nr Nnnndn 2nmn !n rfun ncfst lucru. Ncfstn !n fn n succfsul tu. Nnrn m-nm untnt ln fl nfncrfztunrf. Fl tf-n !nzntnt ndfsfn, !un suntfn df n df mult tnmp lfgnn cu u lfgtur putfrnnc n drngustfn. %mfrfnnn tn n supunfrfn tn ndnc fn df Nnsus 7rnstus nu culurnt pn ln cnpt nsuprn lun n sunt n mumfntul, df n-n dfschndf uchnn. +fzn tu ncum, cf fstf drngustfn( Fr n n!fn nntfnnn df succfs, nducf fn u mnnunf dup cfnlnlt ln suprnfn. Nu df nflfpcnunf nn tu nf!unf. *nc *umnfzfu nr fn numnn nflfpcnunf, Fl n-nr fn ndus nncnudnt crfnnn $un ln !nn. Fl nr fn df!fnnt un fnluzuf snngurntnc n s-nr fn nucurnt df nflfpcnunfn %n pn n tuntf !fnncnnlf. Nu! *umnfzfu fstf nunnrf! n drngustfn nu-n u tnnn n duhulun. *rngustfn nu ducf cu!ntrn nflfptf. *rngustfn puntf fn numnn trnt. *rngustfn sf rspndftf mfrfu, ccn, nltffl, fn nu mnn fstf drngustf ndf!rnt. n s sf rspndfnsc puntf drngustfn numnn ntuncn, cnd fstf cnnf!n, cnrf puntf s-u prfnn. %nngurul lucru pf cnrf *umnfzfu l !rfn df ln nun, fstf, cn nun s-$ nunnm dnn !unnn nunstr lnnfr n dnn tunt nnnmn. Fl nsun n ndus ncfnst drngustf n lumf. n numnn prnn Fl, prnn Nnsus 7rnstus, puntf fn unnnut ncfnst cfn mnn nnlt drngustf. Nnflfpcnunfn nf !n n!n ntuncn *umnfzfu. Nntrfngn !fnncnf st ln dnspuznnf pfntru ncfnstn. Ncfnstn fstf cnlfn! )utnn mnn ntn mprnn lun *umnfzfu n drfptntfn $un n tuntf ncfstfn sf !ur ndugn !uu. Numnn ncfnstn cuntfnz! Nnmnc nltcf!n! Muln cu u crfdnn putfrnnc trfnunf nstzn s sf mnn lnsf nnt ucurnn, dnn cnuzn .snmplncntnn/ lur. Fn nu sf ustfnfsc dup dftfptcnunf n cunutnn umfnfnsc. Fn crfd pur n snmplu n nunfsc n tunt smfrfnnn. Ffrncnn cfn srncn cu duhul, c n lur fstf mprnn cfrurnlur! Nnumf- ffrncnn ncfnn, cnrf crfd smfrnn, fr cn s trfnunnsc mfrfu s ntrfnf df ndnt sfnsul tuturur lucrurnlur! &rn!fghfnn, n spus Nnsus. n %ntnn dfnnf cununtfrf n mnrf putfrf. n rul fstf n stnrf s nfptunnsc mnnunn n lucrurn mnrn. *nr un snngur lucru nu puntf- s nunfnsc! &fntru c ntuncn nu mnn fstf fl ru! )t df multur unmfnn lf fstf nstzn grfu, s sf ntnfzf df nnsfrnc rfspfctn! s sf sunurdunfzf, ln cnrf multf lucrurn sunt pf dus. Muln prsfsc mnn dfgrnn ntrfgul ndf!r, dfct s suffrf unflf lucrurn, cf nu sunt curfctf. Fn nu rfnlnzfnz, c sntnn n ptruns df n df mult n nnsfrnc n n nfnurucnt-u pnrnnl ntr-un mud funrtf urt. *nr tucmnn ncfnstn fstf tutun du!ndn pfntru mprnn lun 7rnstus. %ntnn nu fncf nncnudnt cf!n fr sfns. Fl n-nr ncfrcn cu tunt putfrfn, s dnstrug nnsfrncn, dnc fl n-nr tn f,nct, c fn n !n frngf ntr-u zn gtul. %fr!ncnul sfcrft tutun nu spnunfnz df rfgul prnftfnul. Nu, dnr n gu!frnul dumnn ptrundf fl n ncfnrc s n ung n cflf mnn nnltf pusturn! n dnc fl s-n fcut stpn pf un gu!frn, ntuncn tutun nu dnstrugf gu!frnul pn ln munrtf. %f ncfnrc mult mnn mult, s fnf ndfprtnn snnuturnn n s sf rfstnnnlfnsc nnrn strn urdunntf. *nc cnnf!n fstf nulnn!, n !un l ducfn ln ductur, ntuncn fl dunr nu-l umunr df tut, cn ncfnrc s-l n utf! *f cf nu fncfn !un cu nncfrncn tut nn( Fn sf nsfnmn cu u curnnnf, cnrf s-n gurnt n nmfnn s sf scufundf. *nc tun lnulnlt nr n utn, nr fn rfpfdf rfpnrnt lucul cu prncnnn, n curnnnn nr putfn s-n cuntnunuf clturnn fn. 0n luc df ncfnstn sf scnp fr mnntf muln n nrcnlf df snl!nrf. Numnn c - rmul sngur nu-l n ung fn nstffl nncnudnt. Furtunnlf !nfnn n fnc pf cfn mnn muln dnntrf fn s sf scufundf! *nr df cf pfrmntf *umnfzfu, cn muln dnntrf cupnnn $un s fnf nlungnn nfnr dnn nnsfrnc( *f cf nu nntfr!nnf Fl(

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&fntru c *umnfzfu nu-n ncnlc nncnudnt pruprnnlf %nlf lfgn! *nc Fl nr nntfr!nnn dnrfct, nr dnstrugf Fl tutun !unnn lnnfr n unmfnnlur. Ncfnstn n-u puntf Fl !rfn nncnudnt. *nr Fl ncurd nn df mult sprn nn! n nncn nu sunt ncftnn AncB cupnnn $un, cnrf sunt nlungnn nfnr. )upnnn $un l cunusc n l nunfsc. n drngustfn nccfpt n umnlnrn, fn puntf supurtn multf n puntf s trfnc multf cu !fdfrfn. Ncfnn cnrf sf snmt dfrnn nn df tuntf, ncfnn cnrf crntnc n cundnmn tuntf, ncfnn nc nu nu drngustfn. Fu dunr n crfdf, dnc ..., ncfnstn n-u spunf drngustfn nncnudnt. n numnn fn fstf ncffn, cnrf cuntfnz. *nr cnd!n udnt sf !n ntunrcf fnfcnrf. &nldn dfsprf fnul pnfrdut, ncfnstn fstf !nlnnnl pfntru fnfcnrf. 'nnn trfnunf mult tnmp s pftrfnc ntrf strnnn, pn cf fn rfcunusc pruprnn nfputnn n sf rfnturc n smfrfnnf n drngustf ln "ntl. *nr nu fnn df ncffn trnst. 'n sprf "nrl rmnf tutdfnunn dfschns! Fl n-u !n trntn nncnudnt! n nncn unul dnntrf fn nu fstf df ncffn mnn punn !nlurus! "ntl nu fncf dnffrfnnfrn! Fl l nunftf pf fnfcnrf dnntrf cupnnn %n ln ffl, nu fstf nmpurtnnt, ct df mult tnmp n fust fl ntrf strnnn. )nf !nnf ln "ntl, pf ncfln l !n prnmn Fl cu nrnflf dfschnsf. Nncnudnt nu-l !n pfdfpsn - snu chnnr s-l nruncf n fuc! +rfmfn, n cnrf n fust fl ntrf strnnn, ncfstn fstf tnmpul nfnurucnrnn, nl srcnfn, ncfnstn fstf u ndfn uns .pfdfnps/. %ntnn nu nscult cu drng ncfst mfsn . Fl n ncfrcnt df n dnntutdfnunn tutul, s l prfschnmnf n cuntrnrnul lun! n nn df muln sf lns cu plcfrf pclnn df fl. *n! *nr trfnunf tutun s f,nstf u pusnnnlntntf, s rupn stpnnrfn lun, s n sf dfslufnsc fnfcrunn ncfstf lfgturn lugncf. 'ntf, fu tf nm pf tnnf. Fr tnnf n-n fn n uns nncnudnt nn df dfpnrtf. *f cf n-nu tun un ngfr, cnrf n cunducf( Mnchnfl s-n untnt stupffnnt ln mnnf. Nu tnn ncfst lucru( Fnfcnrf nrf un ngfr! Numnn c nncn tu nu pun s !fzn nc tutul! Fnfcrunn n st un ngfr nlturn, tut nn cn n fu nf. n fnfcnrf nrf pusnnnlntntfn, s nn cuntnct cu ngfrul su. )fn mnn muln cupnn mncn mnn put nc s sf untf n lumfn nunstr. *nr, df ndnt cf fn put !urnn n put pu!fstn dfsprf ncfnstn, lf fstf scuns ncfnstn dnn cnp cn fnnnd u nnurfnl df fnntfznf. Mfrfu nnrn ncfrcm nun s nf fncfm unsfr!nnnln n lf dm unmfnnlur gndurn nunf. *nr dnc fn lf ndupt pf ncfstfn, ncfnstn sf nfl n !unnn lur lnnfr. *nc pf cnnf!n l lu!ftf cuntnnnn snu dnc !nn scrupulf, ntuncn sf nfl funrtf dfs ngfrul su n spntflf ncfstur lucrurn. *nr cfl mnn ndfsfn sunt sugfstnnlf lur pur n snmplu dntf ln u pnrtf, n tnmp cf nnsnnurnlf rulun sunt lncum prfluntf. %ntnn n rfunt, cn cfn mnn muln unmfnn s nu mnn crfnd n f,nstfnn nunstr. )um pun ncum s nsculn df cnnf!n, dfsprf cnrf sf crfdf, c fl nncn mcnr nu f,nst( %trfsul znlnnc, hntunnln n nflnnntfn mpnfdnc urncum urncf cuntnct cu lumfn duhu!nncfnsc. Nnumntf snrcnnn df prutfcnf n schnmn f,frcntm nun ntutdfnunn. &fntru fnfcnrf um. Nun prutf m trupul n sumn, cnd duhul mfrgf pf clturnf, nun rfspnngfm ntncurnlf rulun nsuprn !nfnnlur !unstrf, cflf multf nccndfntf .dnn ntmplnrf/, pf cnrf fl !n lf-n gtnt. Nns, ncfnst .snrcnn n ngfrulun pzntur/ fstf numnn pnrtfn fnrfnsc, mnn mnc n snrcnnnn nunstrf. "u nn n cnmfrn tn u ncunn ntrnnt, n cnrf un ngfr pzntur cunducf un cupnl pfstf un pud. Ncfnstn fstf u ncunn cu u nur mnnunnt. )nnf n pnctnt-u, ncfln n!fn un cuntnct nntfns cu lumfn duhu!nncfnsc. Fl putfn s-n dfschnd lnrg duhul su n putfn s-n nsufnsc uscnlnnnlf nunstrf, pf cnrf fl lf-n trnnspus n nmngnnf. Nncn fstf !urnn df pudul duhu!nncfsc, cnrf cn u crru ngust ducf dnnculu dnn lumfn mntfrnnl n mprnn lun *umnfzfu. Ncfnstn fstf snrcnnn nunstr pruprnu zns, mult mnn nmpurtnnt. )unducturn duhu!nncfsc !rfm nun s lf fnm unmfnnlur. Numnn c - nncn nrf tucmnn n !unnn lnnfr nntf cu!nnflf df spus. Nun nu n!fm !unf s f,frcntm nncn un ffl df cunstrngfrf. Nun lf-nm prncnnun nltffl unmfnnlur u pngun nrfpnrnnnl. &fntru c dnc !unnn nr fn rupt prnn cunstrngfrf, cfl lnnfr nr df!fnn pfntru tutdfnunn un scln!. Ncfnstn fstf chfnn sprf nflfgfrfn lumnn! n ncfnstn nf fncf snrcnnn nunstr nn df nfsfrnt df grfn. *nr tuntf cflf, cf lf cfrfn df ln nun, n!fm !unf s lf fncfm pfntru !un! "untf cf lf punfn ncrfzturn n mnnnlf nunstrf, lf !um rfzul!n pfntru !un. Ncfnstn fstf tut nn !nlnnnl pfntru lucrurnlf duhu!nncftn ct n pfntru cflf lumftn. +un nncn nu nf putfn fncf prfn mult munc, pfntru c munc n sfnsul !ustru, cnrf fstf lfgnt df ustfnfnl n df tnmp, nu f,nst tutun pfntru nun. )ffn cf ! fstf !uu ustfnfnl, fstf pfntru nun u nucurnf. )u ct mnn multf !un nf ncrfdnnnn, cu ct mnn mult nf lsnn s nfptunm, cu ntt mnn strns !n fn cuntnctul nustru ctrf !un. +un ! putfn lsn purtnn df usnlnnnlf nunstrf, n tuntf cflf, cf !un nn lf ncrfdnnnn, !ur fn nrnn ntf sprf nnnflf !ustru. Nnnfnflfs, sprf nnnflf !ustru! Ncfnstn nsfnmn ns dfsfurn- Nu nn, prfcum !un ! nchnpunn ncfnstn, nncn nfnprnt n tnmpul, pf cnrf l-nn gndnt !un pfntru ncfnstn. )nnf nrf prn!nrf nlnrg, ncfln !fdf cfl mnn ndfsfn nltf n mnn nunf cn, dfct ncfln, cnrf sf nfl mputmulnt n mlntnn. "untf cflf, cf trfnunf !un s lf fncfn, fstf s ! rugnn, s crfdfn, s n!fn ncrfdfrf n s f,frcntnn rndnrf. "ut nn cum fu nm fust mfrfu nlturn df tnnf, tut nn fstf ln fnfcnrf. )t df nntfnsn! !n df!fnn rflnnn, ncfnstn sf nfl numnn n mnn !unstr. % crfnd n nun n s tnf dfsprf nun, ncfst lucru l puntf fncf fnfcnrf, cnrf nf nmnfnz prunlfmflf snlf, nunnnd n cu ncrfdfrf, n !n nnf dnntr-u dnt rfzul!nrfn n mnnnlf snlf. N nntrn ntr-un cuntnct duhu!nncfsc cu nun, ncfst lucru sf puntf numnn n lnnntf, prnn rugcnunf n mfdntnnf n rndnrf. )t df mult f,frsnn !un, pfntru n n!n pfrffct u lnmn strnn( )t df muln nnn n!nn !un zn df zn, urf n nr( *nn prncnnn n cf ffl df scupurn mncn dfz!ultnn !un ctfudnt u fnfrgnf n pfrsf!frfn nmfns( n ct df mult tnmp n!fstnn !un znlnnc n curpul !ustru, pfntru n-l nntrfnn n n-l nfrumusfn( Nnmfnn nu-n !n pstrn trupul. 0n prnf nu sf mnn !d muchnn, nncn nu mnn dfrnn fnz rndurnlf. N-nr fn !rfdnnc n ustfnfnln, s-n rfzfr!fzn n fnfcnrf zn ctf!n mnnuntf, pfntru n nntrn n lfgtur cu *umnfzfu n lnnntf n rugcnunf n mfdntnnf( )u *umnfzfu n cu nun, cnrf ! cunducfm dup !unnn $un n ! ncumpnnnm pf cnlfn nsprf Fl! *f n n !nnn !unstr nctunl nn prnmn !un multnplu nnpun tnmpul pf cnrf !un l pftrfcfn n lnnntf. ' lucrnrf, pf cnrf u ncfpfn cu nun, rfuftf! Nnfptunrfn !unstr, ln cnrf !un ! rugnn dup n uturul nustru, nu !n fn fr succfs! )lturnn, pf cnrf u plnunn cu nun n ln cnrf nf lunn cu !un, nu sf !n sfrn n hnus! )fnrtn, pf

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cnrf nf-u ncrfdnnnn sprf nplnnnrf, fstf df n pf umtntf sfnrnt! Grn nlf !unstrf sf !ur rnsnpn n prunlfmf !unstrf !ur fn rfzul!ntf n umtntf df tnmp! )t df multf lucrurn fncfn !un, n crur succfs !un nu-l cununtfn, pf cnrf !un nu lf putfn !frnfncn( &f nun nf putfn !frnfncn! *f n dup un tnmp scurt! 'ndf fstf u !unn, nculu fstf n u cnlf, n crunn n lnpsftf !unnn, ncflunn nu-n fulusftf nncn cfn mnn lnrg cnlf! +fzn tu ncum, cum s-nu rfzul!nt tuntf( &fntru fnfcnrf fstf pnrcnt n fnn unn u mnnn. *unr s cunduc, trfnunf fl snngur! n dnc nn lns furnt muturul, snu dnc tunrn np n rfzfr!ur, snu dnc lf d !unf prnftfnnlur, s cunstrunnsc dnn run supurturn pfntru spun, ntuncn nu nrf !unf fl s dfn !nnn pf mnnn. *nc !rfn tutun s n ung ln cnptul prupus, trfnunf s mfnrg pf us drumul lung n plnn df unstnculf - snu s-n rfpnrf dnn nuu mnnnn. Fu nm fust ct sf puntf df ngruznt df cffn, cf fu nm nuznt mnn nnnntf. $n ncfst lucru fu nu m-nm gndnt. *f cf sunt unrf unmfnnn ntt df urnn( %ntnnn fstf ntt df dftfpt n df !nclfnn, n nnmfnn nu-n puntf n ungf ln nns n ncfst dumfnnu. Fl lf d unmfnnlur u nucnt df znhr, n n tnmp cf fn l df!urfnz cu lcumnf, lf fur fl mnnnn. *up ncffn spunf, c nu n f,nstnt nncnudnt !rfunn. n cfn mnn muln l crfd pf cu!nt. n muln n mnn nccfpt uffrtn, prnn cnrf sf sf lnsf dun u nucnt dnn drum! Fn sf lns lfgnn ln uchn df fl n nu unsfnr!, c fl n ducf n dnrfcnn upus! 'h, dnc nr tn fn, c ntrfg drumul nnrupt trfnunf s-l pnrcurg pf us! *nr trfnunf cn s tf pun prutf n n !rfun ffl. Nnnfnflfs c fstf pusnnnl! "u tf-nn prutf nt cu mnrf succfs. Nrmflf sunt- rugcnunfn, mfdntnnn - n drngustfn! Mnn nlfs drngustfn! 8 0n znun df rusnlnn m-nm mnuln!nt fu dfudnt ru df tut. ' tumunrf mnrf s-n furmnt n cnpul mfu. Nnupfrnnnl nu sups ducturnn. *nr drngustfn pf cnrf fu nm sdnt-u, n prnns flunrf. Mnnmn m-n lunt nmfdnnt dnn spntnl n m-n ndus lng fn ncns. Fn lucrn ncum dunr umtntf df zn, n n ncfl tnmp n!fn grn u !fcnn df mnnf. Mnmn n trfnunt s rfnunf ln fnurm df mult lucrurn, dnr ncfst lucru nu u mnn dfrnn n prfn tnrf. $ucrurn mntfrnnlf nu mnn nsfmnnu pfntru fn prfn mnrf lucru. Fn nu mnn cunsumn nlcuhul, chnnr n df fumnt s-n lsnt fn. Nu mnn frn nfcfsnr pfntru fn, dfunrfcf fn n-n gsnt lnnntfn. Nprunpf c nr fn nccfptnt chfmutfrnpnn uffrnt. *nr fu nm putut s-u fnc s nflfng, c fu nu durfnm ncfnstn. )hnnr n ducturul n nflfs ncfnst durnn. $n u nstffl df tumunrf nu sunt nnsflf n nn prfn mnrn, n fust prfrfn lun. &untf c nr trn punn mnn mult, dnr cu sngurnn nu !n trn mnn ffrncnt. *nc rmnf lng fn n u ngrn nn, n !n nmnntn cu sngurnn df ultnmnlf clnpf nlf !nfnn. *nc durfrnnlf !ur fn prfn mnrn, ! !un n utn ln urncf ur. Fu nm fust nucuruns c nm prnmnt un ductur nn df nflfgtur. )u tuntf c tnnm cf nsfmnn ncfnst nunl pfntru mnnf, n cu tuntf c m nucurnm n u nccfptnm cu rndnrf, n!fnm tutun punn frnc df cffn cf !n urmn pfntru mnnf. +ur fn unrf durfrnnlf ntt df cruntf( +un putfn unrf s rfznst( )u durfrn pfrmnnfntf frnm unnnunt, n fu putfnm s nfs ln cnpt cu flf. 0n prnmflf lunn frn df supurtnt, fu lunm dunr rnrfurn cnlmnntf. Mnmn sttfn df multf urn lng mnnf. Fn n n!nt s cumunncf cu mnnf n tcfrf. Fr cu!nntf, dunr cu snmurnlf. Fu frnm ntt df nucuruns s !d, ct df dfpnrtf n n uns fn. *f ln Nnnndn 2nmn n n!nt fn s sf rungf n s mfdntfzf, n fn n fust u flf! snlntunrf. Nun nf ndncfnm dfsfurn n lnnntfn spnrntulun n nf unfnm prnntr-u nnnd n drngustfn, nn cum nm cunuscut fu ncfnstn dunr ln tntn. "ntl mfu frn dfsfurn cu nun, n chnnr n mnmn putfn s-n snmt prfzfnn. *f ctf!n urn nm rfunt, s-u nnu pf mnmn sus, s-n nruncf ctf!n .prn!nrn/ n lumfn spnrntunl. )hnnr n frnnn mfn m !nzntnu unfurn. 0ncftul cu ncftul n ncfput n ln fn s sf tupfnsc durntntfn lur n s sf nmunnf nmngnnfn mntfrnnl. %chnmnnrfn mnmfn n-n pus pf gndurn. Fn nu unsfr!nt c nu st n fnn lur .u sur n rugcnunnn/, cnrf n ncfput s-n fnf frnc ln ntrnffs cnrf ncfnrc s snl!fzf, cffn cf nc sf puntf snl!n. +nnrnnnlf fn frn purf n ndf!rntf, drngustfn fn frn nun. Fn nu trfnunn s !urnfnsc multf, sf putfn snmn, sf putfn !fdfn pf chnpul fn. Mult s-n rugnt fn pfntru frnnn mfn, mult s-n gndnt fn ln fn. n .ln!nnn/ fn !n df!fnn ntr-u nun zn funrtf mnrf. 3 "rfnzfcn n trfn df nnn nm mplnnnt fu nfrn, n tnnm, c ncfnstn !n fn ultnmn mfn zn df srnturnrf. Fu frnm prfgtnt s sufr, frnm ffrncnt, c n!fnm !unf s ndnug n fu nucntn mfn - dnr frnm tuun nucuruns s tnu, c nu !un mnn fn pfnrtu mult tnmp lfgnt df ncfst curp. 'n culn!nfn frn df n dfschns, pnsrfn frn prfgtnt s znunrf, ntfptn dunr sfmnnlul. )u tuntf ncfstfn m npucn ctfudnt tfnmn! Mnchnfl m-n n!frtnznt df n dnn tnmp. Fnn ntfnt, mn-n spus fl, dunnnlf npnr dnn nuu! $n sfrnt mnn strngf nc u dnt %ntnnn mfnghnnn. Fl sf fulusftf df nfsngurnn, rfstul ncfln, cnrf sf nfl ntrf crfdnn n stnnn.

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Fu nm !zut prfn multf, nm trnt prfn multf, pfntru n dnspfrn. )hnnr n dup cf nu mnn n!fnm putfrf, s m rffugnfz ln Mnchnfl. *nr fu putfnm snmn nfpturnlf df nc, cnrf trfnunnu s m fnc nfsngur, n fu put s-n nflfg pf tun, cnrf sunt stpnnn df dunnn n chnnr dnc sunt crfdnncnun dnu nnpun n sf lupt cu frncn lur. *nr cnnn n n!nt pf !rfmurn nunf s sf rungf, !n putfn trfcf n pfstf ncfstf tfmfrn. Fu frnm nprunpf n ntrfgnmf pnrnlnznt n nu mnn putfnm nncn cu cfn mnn nun !unn s supurt durfrnlf, dunr cucnlmnntf tnrn. Fu df nnnn mnn putfnm s nghnt, mncntul n df!fnnt un chnn. "ut mnn dfs pncnm fu ntr-un sumn ndnc n nncuntnfnt. "ut mnn dfs !fdfnm fu chnpurn n !ns. *f unncfn frn ngfrn, cnrf m !nzntnu n n dfschndfnu cu tnndrff nrnpnlf lur dfnsuprn mfn. *nr mnn frnu n cnucnnturn nfgrf, cnrf sttfnu mnn ln dnstnn ln pnd, dnr cnrf nu rfufnu s sf nprupnf df ncfn ngfrn. Nntr-u nun zn nu !fnnt sprf mnnf trfn mnnunnn n mnrn ngfrn. Fn nu ndus n pfntru mnnf u pfrfchf df nrnpn. )n n fluturnn nf-nm urcnt nun n nfr n nm znurnt sprf sunrf. )fn mnn mnrf ffrncnrf m-n nnundnt pf mnnf. Ntuncn m-nm nturs fu, n nm !zut n dfprtnrf mnrf sun mnnf u cnmfr. Nntr-un pnt frn un curp ndurfrnt, cnrf sf nturcfn dnntr-u pnrtf n cfnlnlt df durfrf n cnrf sf luptn cu munrtfn. ' ffmfnf sttfn n plngfn nfn uturnt nlturn, n spntflf fn sf nflnu dun ngfrn, cnrf u cunsulnu. Ffmfnn s-n untnt n sus ln mnnf - frn mnmn mfn! Fu frnm ncfnn, cnrf sf zntfn nculu us cu munrtf! Nu frn un !ns! Fu nm fust flnnfrnt! Fu frnm lnnfr! n ntuncn nm !zut fu dnn nuu, mnn mnrf n mnn strlucntur dfct urncnd%unrflf! %unrflf mfu! Nnsus )hrnstus! &lnn df nucurnf n mulumnrf nm pncnt fu n gfnunchn. Fu nu nm murnt! Nu! Fu m-nm nscut! Mnchnfl m-n rndncnt, tntn n fust nculu mprfun cu surn Gnrcnn. Fu frnm nnrn ncns! Mnchnfl mn-n ntnns u cup cu cflf mnn mnnunntf fructf pf cnrf fu lf-nm !zut !rfudnt. Mnnc, pun n!fn nf!unf df u ntrnrf. )f ffl df fructf sunt ncfstfn( Flf n npnrnn. Fu lf-nm pstrnt pfntru tnnf. %unt fructflf pf cnrf tu lf-nn culfs pf pmnt. Mn n mn nm mfrs nun sprf cns, n dnrfcnn ncflfn lumnnn. 3333 FPNLUG LN N 2-N FDNNF "frnturnnlf spnrntunlf nu sf put nflfgf prnn cunutnn. *nn cuntr- df multf urn nf st n drum. Fncf pnrtf dnn curp n puntf pfrcfpf dunr cffn., cf n trnnsmntf cflf cnncn snmurn nlf nunstrf. Ncurdul cumun, cnrf n nflnt ncfnst cnrtf, m nucur funrtzf tnrf. ) nu mnn fust prnntrf flf rfmrcn crntncf, n chnnr !ucn cnrf sf mputrn!fnu, m-n mpnns sprf fnptul, df n f,plncn ctf!n lucrurn n ncfst fpnlug. Fu nm ncfrcnt s nrt nfmrgnnntn drngustf n lun *umnfzfu, cnrf cuprnndf pf tuntf fnnnflf n cnrf fstf cu mult mnn mnrf n cuprnnztunrf, dfct nun nf-nm putfn nmngnnn. Multf lucrurn puntf c sunt n rfnlntntf nltffl, nun nu putfm s lf pfrcfpfm cu nflfgfrfn nunstr mnc n lumfnsc. *unr )hrnstus ducf sprf "ntl, n Fl fstf drumul! *nr pf cnnf cunducf Fl, cnd n cum pf ncfl drum, fu nu put s m prunun ln ncfnstn. *unr un lucru tnu cu sngurnn- *uhul %u, *uhul %u sfnt, ndnf pfstf tut, chnnr n n nfnrn nnsfrncnlur. &rnn fructflf lur n !fn rfcununtf "rfnunf dunr cn s dfschndfm uchnn n s nf nmnntnm df cfn mnn nmpurtnnt purunc n %nNunnn-! ...! *unr nstn cuntfnz! Nu nf putfm nnrncndn n spntflf dugmflur, n lfgnnlur n n cundnmnrnnlur# *umnfzfu gsftf pf fnfcnrf, n dup ncffn l msunr prnn drngustfn ncfstunn pfntru nprunpflf su.! Nnsfrncn, spu!fdnnnn, sncrnmfntflf, ct df nfnsfmnntf sunt flf, dnc nu cunduc sprf umnlnn n sprf drngustf, n ct df mrff sunt ntuncn cnd nf dnu putfrfn, s crftfm n drngustfn lun )hrnstus! Fu lf mulumfsc n!turnnlur mfn spnrntunln. )ununtfrfn lur, rndnrfn lur n drngustfn lur mn-nu dfnschns drmul spnrntunl n cu ncfnst cnrtf tuturur cflurn, cnrf cnut s fnf umnln. 'ndf sunt strnnf cu!nntf n lntfrf, nculu putfm s mfrgfm n lnnntf n s snmnm !nnrnnnlf, cnrf sf nscund n spntflf cu!nntflur n s nf lsm dus df fn. Nfn nmnn Elfnn, nunfmnrnf 1?>>

*rngustfn lun *umnfzfu fstf tfmn prnncnpnl dnn crnnlf lun Nnn nmnn Elfnn ....nncn vurn df nnd .... nncn vurn df munr f Ncfstf crn sunt dnscursurn nfucntf dfsprf drngustfn lun *umnfzfu. Nfn nmnn Elfnn d n !nlfng pcntul df munrtf n tuturur rflngnnlur- &f *umnfzfu s-$ fnc um n !fnncn, nfmrgnnntn n pfntru nun nfnmngnnnnnln drngustf n %n s-u scurtfzf n s-u ngrdfnsc. Fl du!fdftf lnpfdf n pf nflfsul tuturur, df cf drngustfn lun *umnfzfu nu puntf n!fn mnrgnnn n nu sf uprftf nncn n fnn nndulun, dn mnn nlfs nculu fstf mnn f!ndfnt - nnnfnflfs dnc dugmflf nunstrf, nn!ndnn n durnnn nunstr df putfrf nu nf nchnd uchnn pfntru n !fdfn ncfnstn!

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)I2JN &FN"2' )'&NN *F N8FNGNMNN E$FNN !UN"F#FLF LFNN $ U"KN% LFN&DN ' mnnunnt cnrtf pfntru cupnn, cu 14 df unncfn nmngnnn dunlf dfsfnntf cu ncunrflf cnrf nu !r fsc dunr cupnnn. Fstf cnrtfn ngfrnlur pfntru cupnn. *fschndf uchnn pfntru lumfn spnrntunl n fstf cntnt cu ncfnnn plncfrf df cupnn n df nduln. !UN"F#FLF LFNN $ '(NN #UPN#ULUN Nl dunlfn !ulum n urncflulun $fnn, cu ncflnn nmngnnn. NFN) "FGFLF PU"#NLU" MN*+"F,N ' cnrtf pfntru cupnn cu !rstf ntrf > - >; df nnn. Nncn pu!fstftf Nfn nmnn Elfnn u pu!fstf drgu df nnnmnlf dfsprf un mnc purc mnstrf pf numf Nfn, cnrf frn df n dnntutdfnunn mnn nltffl dfct cfnlnln. Fl sf znntf cu multf lucrurn cnrf nstzn sunt ln urdnnfn znlfn, fr n n!n cf!n dnn flf. *n, n pn cnd df!nnf Nfn rfgflf purcnnlur mnstrfn, trfnunf s mnn trfnc pfstf multf n!fnturn ' cnrtf df rs -n pfntru n gndn. NN*U* #."N*+U* /N MNJLU#UL NU*+"U )nrtfn trnnsmntf u !fdfrf ndnc n lumfn spnrntulun- gndurn, rugcnunf, mfdntnnf. ' pnrtf prnctnc cunducf pns cu pns n pf nflfsul tuturur sprf u mfdntnnf crftnn ndnc.

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NFNJNMNN KLFNN N CUNUTN TU NGFRUL TU? 1 Frn nunptf, ntuncn cnd s-n nscut Nnrnnrn. Mftrn ntrfgn df nmfn nu ngrupnt ultnmflf rfsturn df drngustf pfntru nprunpflf sun flf. Frngul nnfn nrn cn un dfmun df tfmut n ghfnrflf snlf. Nunptfn n mncnt lumnnn, n spus u dnt Mnchnfl. n cu fl n dnsprut n cldurn. N rmns dunr frngul. Frngul nghfnt! Gfrul n zpndn nnundfnt nu dunurt df n df ctf!n znlf stlpul df curfnt ln pmnt. "fhnncn n fust n!nns# frn ntunfrnc n rfcf. $fmnflf n lumnrnlf fcfnu tut cf lf sttfn n putnn. %f upunfnu nupnn cu punn cldur, n

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lnnntf n nfunsfr!ntf sf nrdfnu n drngustf, fr n sf rftrngf n fr n spunf cf!n - n fr n ntfptn cf!n n schnmn. &rnn munrtf crfnu !nn prnn lumnn n cldur %nngurntnc n n lnnntf frn mncn cns n mn lucul zpfznn. Nncn u mun, nncn nu ductur nu n !fnnt, fn nncn mcnr nu nu ncfrcnt s n ung nncn. Frn grunznnc! ' putfrf cnudnt !runn s m strn!fnsc. Fu snmfnm frngul, n durfnm s m nturc. Mnchnflf, n ut-m! 'ndf rmnfn fl( Fl n prumns dunr, c nu m !n prsn. Mnchnfl! Fu nm fust strn!nt nn df pnrc m-nr fn npucnt nntf clftn df ufl. )f n fust pn ncum pfntru mnnf scut n sngurnn, nmfnnnn s m dnstrug. *nr cf!n nu n lsnt cn ncfnstn s sf ntmplf. *f n nm nntrnt ntr-un tunfl strmt, n ln cnptul ncfstunn pndfn frngul. ' frnc df pnnnc m-n npucnt. Fu ncfrcnm s m mputrn!fsc, fu !runnm nnpun. *nr prfn trznu! Fstf un nnnt( +ucfn fr tun n mnmfn mflf n mnn lsnt luc punn curnuzntnn. "rfnunn cfl punn s fn fust nnnt. "ntn nu n rspuns. Fl m nnfn nfn uturnt n mnnnlf snlf mnrn, prutfctunrf. Fu frnm fnpn, nu frnm n stnrf s m mnc. Nncn un strngt, nncn u nnhnlnrf, nnmnc. Frngul n ctngnt. Fstf munrt( Fu nm nuznt dnn nuu u !ucf munutun# dup ncffn m-n cuprnns nnrn ntunfrncul, ndnc, nunptfn fr sfrnt. Fu znurnm cn u pnsrf, cn un mnc culnnru, cu hrnncnf df ln u flunrf df lutus ln nltn. $ncul frn mpnznt df nuffrn, sunrflf lumnnn n nclzfn, nrurn df nnurn mncn sf dfsprnndfnu dnn nnrnn udnt df ruu. ' unpt ncfnt ntfn pf ln fs, suflnrfn lun *umnfzfu sf udnhnfn pfstf tut. *fudnt n scunpnt fuc pmntul dnn fnn mfn. %unftul nsurzntur mn-n rupt pur n snmplu urfchnlf. Mnrusul df sulf sf snmfn, dnn grunpn df pf pmnt nsfmntunrf n unun crntfr n znurnt dnrfct sprf mnnf u urnn cnucnntunrf. Nrnpnlf fn urnnf mn tnnu urncf pusnnnlntntf df scpnrf. Frncn m sugrumn, curznlf !ucnlf n ncftnu nctn!ntntfn n n lsnt s munr nptul mfu df frnc. *up ncffn nu n mnn fust nnmnc. 'n nnmnc ndnc, ntunfcnt. *urn mult, mult prfn mult. )nd curpul mfu sf unnnunn df n ncftul cu ncftul cu munrtfn, nu ncfput dnn nuu s-mn lucrfzf plmnnn. *nr lnpsn df u,ngfn n lsnt df n urmf ndncn n crfnfrul mfu. Ncum frn lnmpfdf- Fu nu !un fn nncnudnt .nurmnl/. Mnchnfl n spus-# +n fn funrtf grfu, dnr tu nu !fn rfgrftn. )t df dfs m !un mnn gndn fu ln ncfnst prupuznnf! Fu nu-n nflfgfnm nc sfnsul. Ncum frn lnmpfdf, df nfcuntfstnt. Fu frnm nsfmnnt, u !nn ntrfng !un fn hnndncnpnt. Mnchnfl, n ut-m! )f m !n ntmpnnn( +un putfn fu unrf rfun( +un fn fu unrf !rfudnt ffrncnt( Nm s put n!fn fu snngur grn df mnnf snu !un dfpnndf u !nn ntrfng df nun!unnn nlturn( 0n mnrf tnnm fu df n cf sf !n ntmpln. Mnchnfl n !urnnt tutul cu mnnf, m-n n!fsflnt, mn-n dnt curn . "untf hnltflf nmpurtnntf dnn !nnn mfn, mn lf-n f,plncnt, sfnsul lur, pusnnnlntnlf n tuntf nnsflf. +n fn grfu, n spus fl, n fu nm fust df ncurd. *nr tuntf ncfstfn s-nu ntmplnt n mprf urrn lnnntntunrf. Fr nf!unf, fr nuln, fr suffrnnf, dunr ffrncnrf n drngustf n nnundfn. N fn putut fu unrf s-mn dnu sfnmn ntuncn, cf m ntfptn df fnpt, nncn( Nm fust fu n stnrf, s m gndfsc ln ncfnst !nn, s snmt mcnr cum fstf fn( Nmnntnrfn ncfnstn s-n tfrs. *nn cf n cf mnn mult plfn, nmngnnnlf df!fnfnu nfclnrf. )n nntf nucn df cfn mnn nprfnu flf dnn lncul untrnn, pfntru n sf dfstrmn nmfdnnt df chnnurnlf !nfnn. n nn frn funrtf nnnf. Nu nr fn fust pusnnnl nltffl, s fncn fn unfn !nfn plnn df nfn unsurn, dfznmgnrn n dnsprfunrn. Nncnudnt nu nm mnn fust fu nn df snngur, nn df nfn uturnt. "rupul n spnrntul s-nu unnt, zdrunnt n mpnns df ctuflf mntfrnfn, df nlfstfmul rulun. Nncnudnt nu m-n mnn ntnns cu nttn putfrf, dfct ln nntfrfn mfn, nmngnnfn cdfrnn dnn pnrndns. &untf s fnf !rfun cuntrnst mnn mnrf( *rngustf n cldur nfmrgnnnt, lnnntf fr lnmntf, n!luntf ntr-u mnrf df tnndrff n nnundfn, znurn u ntlnf cu u fur df nfnmngnnnt. Nmprf urnrfn cnrf mnn nnnntf n fust nn df prutfctunrf, df!nnf un dfmun, ncfnrc s strn!fnsc mncul curp n l fncf s sf zgudunf cn un mnc cutfrmur. )u fur fstf fl mpnns sprf ncfl cnnnl, cnrf cunsducf nfnr n frng, n ngntnnf n nflnnntf. %pnrntul snmtf, c lnnfrtntfn sn sf dfstrnm. *unr cu grfu sf prfd fl n nchnsunrfn curpulun, tnnnd nnnf, c un df cflul !n rmnf pfntru fl mult tnmp nchns - rfnnut n curpul unun nuu nscut, mpnns sprf nfn uturnrf. %nu nn cum fstf n cnzul mfu, cu un curp cnrf nu fstf pfrffct n trfnunf cn s rfnun ln dfz!ultnrfn nurmnl. Mnchnfl mn-n spus u dnt, c nntfrfn sf numftf n &unrtn !nfnn. &fntru mnnf fstf munrtfn spnrntulun, u munrtf grunznnc n chnnuntunrf, dup cnrf dfsfurn urmfnz nunptfn, frngul n nftnnnn, cu dunr un mnc punct df lumnn n dfprtrn. )n un nun prnftfn sf nfnz !nlul untrnn pfstf suflft, cn nntf fulgn df zpnd, cnrf u n!lunfsc dnn cf n cf mnn tnrf. )cn dunr sun u ptur df nfn gruns fstf df supurtnt !nnn, df!nnf pusnnnl s n!fn n s strngn f,pfrnfnf. *unr nncn puntf s crfnsc spnrntul, pn cnd !n strpungf nfnun pf tnmp df prnm!nr cn un crucus n cu gtul lnrg dfschns !n nfn dnn sunrflf dnmnnfnn. Nmn pnrf ru, dnr tnn funrtf nnnf, zpndn n frngul, nu n fust pusnnnl, fu nu nm putut s !nn. Fu tnu! Mnn mult nu n spus tntn. &f fnn sn sf putfn !fdfn nflfgfrfn n trnstffn. $n rf!fdfrfn, dumnul ductur. 2fflf,flf sunt dfrnn ntf, curznnlf !ucnlf sunt pnrnlnzntf, tut curpul fstf munlf n nu rfncnunfnz n nncn un ffl, n spus fl. )upnlul trfnunf dus df ndnt ntr-u clnnnc spfcnnl, mnf mn fstf nmpusnnnl un trntnmfnt. )u un hnndncnp mnrf !n rmnf n urncf cnz.

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N durnt znlf ntrfgn pn cnd n fust pusnnnl un trnnspurt pn ln clnnnc. "ntn sf ucupn df mnnf cu u drngustf nfmrgnnnt. Mnmn n fust nltffl. Furnn, suprnrfn n trnstffn nu mpnfdncnt rffncfrfn fn nmfdnnt. Nmputrn!nrfn fn frn nn df mnrf, c nu n durnt mult tnmp n n-n sfcnt lnptflf. Ncum n nlucunt tntn n pf mnmn. Fl m schnmnn, mn fncfn nnnf m hrnfn cu cfn mnn mnrf grn n tnndrff. Nrnflf n mnnnlf snlf mn nnpunnu punn dnn sngurnnn pnfrdut. Fu n mulumfnm cu strlucnrfn uchnnlur mfn, n fl n nccfptnt ncfnstn n tcfrf. *f cf m-nn uprnt ntuncn, cn s nu ntrfrup snrcnnn, cnd fu nm n!ut ru ful! )n u snnnf nscunt n znurnt ncfst rfpru prnn nfr. Fn trnftf. "ntn nu !urnfn nncnudnt mult. )f !nnt trnftf! +n fn nfputnncnuns, mut n nfmncnt. Nu !n fn n stnrf s sf ntrfnn snngur, !n fn dunr u pnfdnc nmfns. Nncnudnt nu !n putfn gustn dnn ffrncnrnlf !nfnn, prunnnnl c nncn mcnr nu fstf n stnrf, s gndfnsc lnmpfdf. &f !fcn nf !n fn grfu cu fn, n ncfnstn fstf dunr !nnn tn. tn tu unrf, cf nsfnmn !nnn(, n rfplncnt tntn lnnntnt. Nnc mnn crfzn tu, c !nnn cunst n fnptul, s tnn u purnf ct sf puntf df mnrf dnn turt, cnrf df fnpt fstf pfntru tunt lumfn( )rfzn tu, c ln sfrnt tf !n ntrfnn cnnf!n, ct df multf dnstrncnn nn n!ut( %nu ct df cunfurtnnnl nn trnt( +ucfn sn nrmunnuns nmflnurn durfrfn, cnrf m strpungfn. )tf urf n znlf nm trnt fu cu frnc ntuncn, cnd mnmn n !rut s ntrfrup snrcnnn. *ucturul n sftunt-u, n fn n fust ffrm dfcns pfntru ncfnstn. Gndnn-! ln fnptul, c puntf fn hnndncnpnt! Nu fncf ncfnstn, tf rug fu, lns-m s trnfsc. Nnsfnmn mult pfntru mnnf, ncfnst !nn. Nm nf!unf df ncfnst f,pfrnfn, fn m !n ducf mnn dfpnrtf. "f rug nu dnstrugf, cffn cf s-n cupt df n df mult. Nu mn strncn nnsn, tu nu nn nncn un drfpt. Fu n !un mulumn cu drngustf, ntt ct !un putfn. *umnfzfu tf !n rspltn, cu cffn cf nu put fu. 'rf n nr nm !urnnt cu fn, nm ncfrcnt, s trfzfsc drngustfn n fn, nflfgfrfn. Fn nncn mcnr nu m-n ngnt n sfnm. Fn nncn mcnr nu n !rut s fnf nprunpf df mnnf, nu n !rut s nnstnlfzf u lfgtur sprf mnnf. Fn luptn pfntru dfsprnrf, durfn s scnpf df mnnf. Nu putfn pur n snmplu s supurtf gndul, s fnf nnt ucurnt df nlnn. )u .u pnfdnc ln pncnur/. % fnf lfgnt, s trfnunnsc s-n schnmnf !nnn, s rfnunf. *nr tntn nu n lsnt-u. &f fl l-nm ntnns cu rugmnntfn mfn, fl frn cuntnfnt df sfntnmfntflf mflf, sf nndfntnfncn cu flf. Fu sunt funrtf nucuruns n mulumnt, c mn-n fcut pusnnnl ncfnst !nn nlturn df fl. ' pnnglnc tnrf n nunnrnn nf lfng pf nun, !un putfn supurtn cu mnn mult uurnn unflf lucrurn. 3 'nflf cfntrf nmpurtnntf nlf crfnfrulun sunt ct sf puntf df tnrn ntncntf. &fntru ductur frnm pur n snmplu un unnfct, cnrf fcfn pnrtf dnn .mfsfrnn/ sn. 'ntnn-! nncn! Fl m-n nfpnt cu sngurnn df !rfu duuzfcn df urn cu un nc df sus pn us. )nnf n spus c nu put snmn durfrfn, chnnr dnc curpul mfu nu fstf n stnrf, s rfncnunfzf nurmnl( Frn npru,nmntn! n zfcfn unr, n ncfstf ultnmf sptmnn n cnrf fu n trfnunt s ndur ncfstf chnnurn. n pfntru cf( %prf n!nnsnrfn n nnnf n strnn mflf nu n ut n urncf cnz dfluc. *unr u frnc ndnc s-n nscut n mnnf, cnrf s-n nrtnt mnn trznu, n n fust df nfnflfs pfntru cfn dnn urul mfu mputrn!n n tut cf nrtn n clnnnc n n ductur. Nfnumrntflf prunf df sngf, lumnnn rfcf n uchn, cunsultnnnlf nntfrmnnnnnlf s-nu ngrupnt ndnc n sun cuntnfntul mfu. tnu unrf ducturnn, cf sf ntmpl cu un cupnl, cnrf fstf nnut df pncnunrf n n sf d dfudnt drumul ln cnp( &fntru fn fstf cfl mnn nurmnl n mnn nfnmpurtnnt lucru df pf ncfnst lumf. *f zfcf, duuzfcn df urn nm n!ut !unf s f,frsfz ncfnst ncrunnnf. *f fnfcnrf dnt sf strngfn stumncul n dnnfrngmn, cu tuntf c curpul mfu nu frn n stnrf s rfncnunfzf dup cfrnnf. ' frnc fr mnrgnnn m cuprnndfn df fnfcnrf dnt, Fu durfnm s strng, fnfcnrf s nud dnspfrnrfn mfn, dnr curznlf mflf !ucnlf nu nscultnu n nn df sngnnlul nmpfrffct nl crfnfrulun mfu. )nnf putfn msurn, cf nsfnmn pfntru un cupnl, s fnc un flnc flnc pfstf npnrntul df rnzf, dup cf umndntntfn crfnfrulun n fust schnmnnt prnmn unr cu nfr n dup ncffn cu un mn luc nlucuntur( $n fnfcnrf mncnrf pnr s sf prnufnsc n cnp lnnurn ntrfgn df munn. )rfnfrul pnrc !rfn s sf spnrg - n fu nncn mcnr nu putfnm s znnfr. %ptmnn n nr sf dfzlnunnu nc n cnpul mfu furtunn, fr cn ncfstfn s dnspnr dffnnntn!. %-n gndnt unrf !rfudnt unul dnn ncftn ducturn, ln frncn df f,nstfn, ntuncn cnd curpul fstf cuprnns df duu nrnf n fstf mpnns ntr-un .tunfl sunnrf df rnzf/( %fcundflf df!nn urf ntrfgn. *f undf n nnu putfrfn, cnnf lf-n dnt drfptul, s sfnrmf suflftflf, n chnnr fr s punt !nndfcn trupurnlf( )nnf n nn!fntnt ncfstf mftudf nun df chnnunrf( )nnf lf-n lfgnlnznt( )nnf n schnmnnt gndnrfn n nnstntunnlf, prnn npnrntf gunlf, cnrf put s-l mpnrt pf un um n sutf df nucn n s nrntf dnngnuzn pfrffct, pfntru n-n fn urcrun ductur df fulus n tfrnpnf( %nngur - cu tuntf c fstf mult hfctnc. &rsnt - cu tuntf c ftn tut tnmpul sun unsfr!nnf. Nfn uturnt - cu tuntf c nn multf n utunrf n urul tu. Frn rcunrf n ntunfrnc. *unr punn lumnn nducfn surn Nfnfdnctn, crunn n-nm fust ncrfdnnnt df ctf!n znlf. )u tuntf c lucrn df fnfcnrf dnt pn ln fpunznrf, fmnnn lnnntf, cnrf pru!fnfn df undf!n dnn ndncurn. &fntru fn frn !nnn, drngustfn n n uturul tut ncflnn lucru. Fn sf prncfpfn, s nstupf multf rupturn n s m

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mpncf ct df ct dnn nuu cu ncfnst lumf. Fn n!fn n trfnurnlf fn, trfnunn s prnctncf n lucrurn nfplcutf, df f,fmplu s nn u prun df sngf snu s schnmnf !rfun nnndn . Fn fcfn ncfnstn df fnfcnrf dnt cu u scuz mut n nnnmn fn. %trlucnrfn n undflf fn m nfurnu n cldur n drngustf n nfutrnlnznu durfrfn ntuncn cnd ncfnstn sf furmn. $n fn tnnm c fstf nfcfsnr, fstf gndnt, n sf ntmpln ct mnn ntfnt pusnnnl. )nnf lf-n furnt unrf cflurlnn drngustfn( Nunptfn n nghnnt lumnnn. n ln stnngfrf n lunt n tunt cldurn cu snnf. N rmns dunr frngul. Ncfstf zfcf sptmnn n clnnnc nu fust dup nntfrfn mfn cfn mnn rfn f,pfrnfn. $n ncfst gnd nc mn mnn trfc pfstf spntf fnurn rfcn. 3 "ntn m lunsf, mut n nflfgtur cn ntutdfnunn, ncun urnt cu strlucnrf df lumnn. Fl m-n lsnt s m cufund n fn, n lumfn s-n scufundnt n urul mfu. *nsprutf pf nfsnmntf nu fust urflf rflf, pncfn n nuntntfn dumnfnu. 'n !ns fr s durm m rpnsf, fu plutfnm nsfmfnfn unun !l df cfn n ntmpnnnrfn lumnnnn, m-nm scufundnt ntr-u cnscnd dnn mnn df scntfn df lumnn. Nmn fcfn nfsfrnt df nnnf. Nn!nurnt n ntrnt mnm nfznt fu pf u cmpnf, ncun urnt df mnn dnntrf cflf mnn frumunsf flurn. Nnnf mnrusntur, lnmpfdf, rcrus frn nfrul. Nnrnnrn! Mnchnfl sttfn lng mnnf. 0n mnrcmnntfn lun nln snmpl cu curfnun dnn pnftrf prfnunsf, mnc n ncnttunrf nfnnrfn, tnnfrfnsc, nprunpf punn trfngrfnsc fnn, nprunpf prfn tnr dup punctf df !fdfrf umfnftn. &f dfplnn tcut m lu fl n nrnflf snlf. *f ln nntfrfn mfn nu l mnn rf!zusfm. "u nn fust un tnmp ndflungnt plfcnt. Fu tf-nm strngnt, nu m-nn nuznt tu, nndnr( Fu tf-nm nuznt, cupnlul mfu, n fu tf nsngur, c nm fust tutdfnunn ln tnnf. *nr fu nu tf-nm !zut. Ncfnstn nncn nu putfnn tu. *nr n nnnntf tf-nm !zut fu tutun ntutdfnunn, dnc n!fnm dur fn df tnnf, fu nncn mcnr nu trfnunn s tf chfm u dnt. *nr ncum ftn tu pf pmnt n trfnunf s tf ncumudfzn cu lfgnlf lun. Flf sunt sf!frf, nfmnlunsf n df nfschnmnnt. Frn nfcfsnr, s tf lns snngur n ncfst tnmp. "u trfnunn s tf ncumudfzn, n!fnn funrtf multf df ntmpnnnt, nn putut s fncn df n funrtf multf f,pfrnfnf. $n ncfnstn frn nfcfsnr, cn tu s fnn snngur, fr nncur df snl!nrf. $n ncfnstn n-nr fn fust mnn uur, dnc tu nn fn fust prnn mnnf mfrfu nmnntnt df cf!n mnn frumus. *nr ncfnstn fstf numnn u pnrtf n lucrurnlur. Mnchnfl fcusf u pnuz lung. Nntr-ndf!r .s !nd/ put pf pmnt numnn funrtf punnn. 'nurn lf fstf ncfnstn nscut. &fntru fn fstf ncfstn un mnrf f,nmfn - fstf funrtf grfu, s fulusftn curfct ncfst dnr - , snu fn nu unflf snrcnnn prfcnsf. Nltffl fstf .!zul/ numnn ntuncn pusnnnl, dnc un um fstf n stnrf, s curflfzf uscnlnnn sn pf dfplnn cu uscnlnnn nunstr. Ncfnstn fstf ns mult mnn curnt n duhu!nncfnsc, cu nncn u mntfrnf mpu!rnt. Multf unstnculf sf nfl prnntrf unmfnn pf pmnt. 'n lucru numnn !rfnu fu s-n nrt df n nstzn, cfl mnn mnrf n cfl mnn grfu. Ncfstn fstf urn n tuntf snmmnntflf nrudntf cu ncfnstn, n!nnunrf, mnnf, lnps df drngustf. 'rn pruducf uscnlnnn cfn mnn usnnc, cfn mnn nspr, cfn mnn ndnc. Fn tf trngf n us n fncf mpusnnnl fnfcnrf cuntnct cu lumfn spnrntunl. 'scnlnnn fn sf puntf ndfsn nn df tnrf, c unnn unmfnn, ct df ct sfnsnnnln, put s u snmt df n curpurnl . Fn nu fstf, cf-n drfpt, mutn!ul fnfcrfn suffrnnf, cn u cunsfcnn n prnmulun mutn!, pf cnrf fu mnn trznu n-l !un f,plncn nc# dnr fn fstf cfl mnn dfstructn! sfntnmfnt n gfnfrnl. Fn dnstrugf tutul, nu-n lns drngustfn nncn cfn mnn nfnsfmnnt nns. n fu nm ncfput, s ursc tutul, cf fstf mputrn!n mfn. Mnmn mfn, clnnncn, ducturnn. "u !fzn ncum, c nu n fust drfpt. 'rn tf trngf n us ln nn!flul cfl mnn df us n cfl mnn dfns, undf lfgfn, cnrf fstf nnzn mntfrnfn, npnrf pf dfplnn sprf n fn purtnt. *urfrfn fstf unn dnn ustntncf, pfstf cnrf dnspunf mntfrnn. "f lu!ftf cfl mnn tnrf, dnc tf nfln pf trfnptn cfn mnn df us. *urfrfn nu fstf u mrnmf dnt dnnnnntf. Fn fstf cundus prnn nfr!n ln crfnfr, n df-nnnn nculu sf furmfnz sfntnmfntul df durfrf. Ncfstn dfpnndf ns df stnrfn, n cnrf sf nfl crfnfrul tu# n dfunrfcf gndnrfn fstf sunurdunnt snmulun - chnnr dnc ncfst lucru fstf nstzn nltffl n!nt n lumfn rnnunnl - , dfpnndf sfntnmfntul df durfrf mnn nlfs df stnrfn suflftulun nustru. 'nn n ncffnn durfrf, trnt n stnrfn df uscnlnnf n urnn, fstf nffgnlnt mnn tnrf snmnt dfct n stnrfn df uscnlnnf n drngustfn, n nflfgfrnn n n nfrtrnn. *f ncffn, dfcn, nu fust durfrnlf nn df nnsupurtnnnlf, nn df plnnf df !nulfn nrutnl! +fzn tu ncum, cf ffl df f,pfrnfnf nmpurtnntf nn fcut tu df n( "u nn cunuscut unn dnntrf cflf mnn nmpurtnntf n flfmfntnrf lfgn- *fpnndf df stnrfn suflftulun duhu!nncfsc, ct df ndnc tf nclcftn tu n mntfrnf. F,prfsnnlf suflftulun sunt sfntnmfntflf, n, nn!frs, stnnnlftn tu cu sfntnmfntflf tnlf stnrfn df uscnlnnf n suflftulun tu duhu!nncfsc. nnfn cn f,fmplu u pfndul n fnn uchnlur. )u ct mnn ncft uscnlnnz fn, dfcn, cu ct mnn us fstf stnrfn fn df uscnlnnf, cu ntt mnn uur df cuprnns df!nnf fn. )u ct mnn rfpfdf uscnlnnz fn, cu ntt mnn grfu fstf, s u cuprnnzn, pn tu ln urmn urmfn nu nn nnsulut df luc nncn u nns, pfntru c fn uscnlnnz nn df rfpfdf, c tu nu mnn pun s-u !fzn# fn n dnsprut dnn cmpul tu !nzunl. "utun n-nr !fnn nnmfnn pf ndffn s spun, pfnduln nu f,nst, pfntru c fu n-u mnn !d. )nlfn pfndulfn pn nncn s-n putut tutun urmrn. Fstf

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lugnc. $ugnc fstf ns numnn cffn, cf nun putfm nflfgf cu mnntfn nunstr n putfm s nf gndnm. "rfn cu trfn fnc nsf. Ncfnstn fstf tutun lugnc, spunf fnfcnrf. &fntru un cupnl mnc nu fstf ncfnstn nnsulut df luc lugnc, mnntfn lun nu fstf nc tucmnn nn df mnturnznt. *f ncffn fnc ns trfn cu trfn tutun nsf, chnnr dnc cupnlul nc nu nflfgf ncfnstn. *f ndnt cf umul fstf ns mntur, fstf fl df prfrf, c nr tn ntuncn tuntf. $n ncfnstn fstf rnnunfn umulun n cumpnrnnf cu cfn mnn nnlt cuntnfn cusmnc, ntuntfcunuscturul *umnfzfu, nncn mcnr un gruntf df nnsnp n dffrt. Nnnpun ln f,fmplul nustru- Nn cum pfnduln dnspnrf dnn !zul uchnlur tn, cnd fn uscnlnnz mnn rfpfdf, nn sunt n fnnnflf nn!nznnnlf, cnrf sf nfl ntr-u stnrf df uscnlnnnf mnn nnlt. 'n ngfr snu u fnnn duhu!nncfnsc puntf s sf n mntfrnnlnzfzf, cf-n drfpt, n nnumntf - funrtf rnrf - cundnnn n s nduptf cu ncfnstn u stnrf df uscnlnnf mnn uns. *nr df rfgul fstf ncfst fnpt tucmnn nn!frs- tu trfnunf s tf trnnspun ntr-u stnrf df uscnlnnf mnn nnlt, pfntru n putfn fncf lfgturn cu ncfstf fnnnf. )u ct mnn dfs!rnt n rfuftf ncfnstn, cu ntt mnn dfs!rnt !n fn n cuntnctul, cu ntt mnn dfs!rnt !fn putfn tu snmn unntntfn df fsfn n lur. Ncfnstn mfrgf ncfpnd prnn prfsnmnrn snmplf pfstf snmnrn n nuznrn pn ln !fdfrn, rfspfctn! n dfs!rnrfn sprf pfrsunnn dnn fn cu ncflfnn drfpturn. *nc !rfn tu n cunsfcnn s nntrn n cuntnct cu lumfn duhu!nncfnsc, ntuncn f!nt tutul cf n usftf stnrfn tn df uscnlnnf. $n ncfnstn npnrnnf pf lng sfntnmfntf n gndnrfn tn, nfptunrfn tn n nc mnn multf lucrurn# dnr dfsprf ncfstfn mnn trznu. *nntrf sfntnmfntf fstf urn cfn mnn df us. Fn tf nnf us, tf lfng tnrf n mntfrnf n fncf nmpusnnnl fnfcnrf ncfrcnrf, s tf dfz!uln mnn dfpnrtf duhu!nncfsc n suflftfsc. 'rmfnz ncum multf trfptf pn ln drngustfn curnt, nffgunst. )u fn pun tu s ptrunzn pn n cflf mnn nnltf cmpurn nlf lumnn duhu!nncftn, n dfs!rnrf pn ln trunul lun *umnfzfu. *rngustfn dfscunf tuntf purnlf, fn fstf %fznm-ul -dfschndf-tf nl lumnn duhu!nncftn.. )nd tu ncfpusfn ntuncn n clnnnc, s urtn tutul, tf-nn pus tu pf trfnptn cfn mnn nnffrnunr. "ut cf fstf nfgntn! n trfnunt df ncffn s tf lu!fnsc cu cfn mnn mnrf putfrf. Nunln fstf nl dunlfn, cu durfrfn nprupnnt nrudnt ustntnc nl mntfrnfn. "u pun prunnnnl s n prfsupun, cffn cf urmfnz ncum. $umfn duhu!nncfnsc nu cununtf nncn u nunl. )u ct mnn ndnc fstf stnrfn tn df uscnlnnf, cu ct mnn mult tu tf ducn dfcn n mnnnlf mntfrnfn, cu ntt mnn f,pus ftn tu ln ncfnstn. Nn!frs- tu pun s scnpn df fn, prnn ncffn c tu, cu n uturul sfntnmfntflur mnn nnltf, mnn nlfs dfcn cu drngustfn, tf mntn ctrf cmpul duhu!nncfsc. %fntnmfntflf tnlf sunt cn dfgftf pf hnrpn !nfnn. Flf ntnng curznlf, nlf crur mrnmn df nntunnnn dftfrmnn uscnlnnnlf suffltulun tu duhu!nn!fsc. F,frsfnz-tf n nntunnnnlf nnltf, curntf. 'scnlnnnlf lur nspnr ln nfmrgnnnrf. Mult tnmp nm mfrs nun nn tcun unul pf lng cfllnlt. *umnfn u stnrf df pncf, nprunpf ffstn!. %unrflf, cu tuntf c nu sf !fdfn nncnundf, rspndfn u lumnn df nsfrnrf cnld. Fl prfn s fnf pfstf tut, nncn u umnr nu n sf putfn mputrn!n. &rul cu npn lun lnmpfdf cn crnstnlul curgfn ncft n us. Nfrul frn plnn df u uscnlnnf spfcnfnc, suprnnnturnl, cnrf nu putfn fn snmnt numnn cu urfchnlf, cn cu tut curpul. 'n sfntnmfnt nfdfscrns df sngurnn m ptrundfn. Nnstnnctn! m-nm prnns strns df nsunturul mfu. Fstf u mnrf mnlustn!nrf, c fu nm !unf s tf nntruduc df n ln ncfputul !nfnn tnlf n ncfstf lucrurn, pf cnrf muln nc nu lf cunusc ln sfrntul !nfnn lur. Fstf ns n ncflnn tnmp n u mnrf rfspunsnnnlntntf pfntru tnnf. &rucfdfnz cunfurm ncfsturn, rspndftf lumnnn pf pmnt! 3 )nd fu m-nm trfznt nnrn, frnm df n ncns. 0n snl n n mhnnrf m nfn mnmn mfn, pfntru n m hrnn npun cu pnrfu df lnptf. &fntru prnmn dnt n-nm fust n stnrf, s-n dnu rfplnc ln furnn fn. +nsul mfu m nnfn nc pf dfplnn prnns. Frn un sfntnmfnt mnnunnt. Fu putfnm s-n ntmpnn lnpsn fn df drngustf cu drngustf, nnfnm dfpnrtf frngul cu cldurn. )n u plntu sf pusfsf fn prutfctunrf n urul mfu, n dnntr-u dnt nu mnn durfn frngul. 0n dfcursul tnmpulun nm n!nt fu, c nu trfnunf nfnprnt s rspunzn rfspnngfrfn cu rfspnngfrf n lnpsn df drngustf cu lnps df drngustf. Ncfstf sfntnmfntf nfgntn!f dur numnn ntuncn, dnc lf lnn s ntrf n tnnf. Numnn ntuncn put flf s rnfnsc n s pruduc rnn. 0n ncfl mumfnt ns, n cnrf sf rfuftf, s sf prfschnmnf, ncfnst fnfrgnf nfgntn! n s fnf trnmns nnpun cn drngustf, nu mnn fstf nncn un .rznun/ pusnnnl. 'n lupttur cu snnnn puntf s luptf numnn nttn tnmp, ct fl sf lu!ftf df mputrn!nrf. *nc lu!nturn lun sf ducf n nfnnt, !n ncftn fl df ndnt stupffnnt. ' mnngf df tfnns znunr numnn ntuncn nnpun, cnd fn sf lu!ftf df pmntul tnrf n pf dfnsuprn cnd fstf nlnmfntnt n nnrn lu!nt nnpun cu fnfrgnf nuu prnn putfrfn cflun cnrf lu!ftf cu pnlftn. Fn n pnfrdf tunt fnfrgnn, dnc sf lu!ftf df pmnt munlf n cnrf cfdfnz n dnc nnmfnn nu fstf nculu, cnrf s-u lu!fnsc nnpun. "ut nn sf ntmpl n cu urn n mnnn. Mnmn mfn n fust ntr-ndf!r funrtf stupffnnt, cnd fu nm ntrfrupt pfntru prnmn dnt ncfst .mnc rznun duhu!nncfsc/ ntr-un nsfmfnfn ffl. 'nrfcum, fn n-n mnn putut s-n dfscnrcf furnn fn nsuprn mfn. $n ncfnstn n trfnunt ns ntr-ndf!r srncul mutnn pftru s suffrf, cnrf chnnr n s-n strfcurnt ntrf pncnunrf nfprfsnmnnd nnmnc. *nr pnsncnlf pnr s fnf tnrn n n ndurn. $u!nturn df pncnur n-n prncnnunt ntr-ndf!r u clturnf n znur nfdurnt df mnn muln mftrn, nu n-n putut ns nncn mcnr unnnf un mnnu df durfrf.

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+nnn mfn n fust ln ncfput ct sf puntf df munutun. Mfn mfn nu sf prfn ngrn fn df mnnf, n chnnr n frnnn mfn, 7urst df dunsprzfcf nnn n 8nlln df zfcf nnn, n!fnu nltcf!n mnn nun df fcut, dfct s stfn n cumpnnnn .cnprfn prustnncf/. Ncfn cnpr prustnnc frnm fu. $nnntnt sttfnm fu tunt znun n culul mfu n prfnm s nu rfcfpnunfz prfn multf dnn mprf urrnlf mflf. Nu putfnm s !urnfnsc# pnrnlnznn n ntrufnnt curznlf mflf !ucnlf# fu !un rmnf pf !fcn mut. ' urfchf frn ntru tutul surd, cfnlnlt fucnunn dunr punn. Nrnflf n pncnunrflf mflf frnu slnntf, nfr!nn mfn nu !runnu s rfncnunfzf. 'n dfffct n sunstnnn fmntunrf, cnrf fncf pusnnnl cuntnctul ntrf nfr!n n muchn, n spus ducturul. ' nunl funrtf rnr *n, ct sf puntf df rnr, dnr fu trfnunn s m ncumudfz cu fn. % stnu nu putfnm, dfct ntuncn cnd frnm pruptnt, n mnmn dunr rnrfurn frn df ncurd cu ncfnstn. *f rfgul frnm culcnt pf u ptur mnc n cnmfrn df zn. *f fnpt nu frn un luc chnnr ntt df ru. Nnrnn fmnnn funrtf mult cldur sunn df nculu. Fu nunfnm funrtf mult cldurn. Fn nntrn n mnnf, m nclzfn ndnc nuntru, m umplfn cu tutul. Frn u cldur ndf!rnt, !nf, fmnnnt df lfmnul cnrf sf nrdfn pfntru ncfnstn. Fu m-nm gndnt dfsurn ln ncfnstn. *unr n!fnm tnmp sufncnfnt. )f sf puntf fncf ntuncn, cnd ftn cundnmnnt s stnn, pur n snmplu( Nnnfnflfs, fu durmfnm mult, cfl punn n prnmnn nnn. *nr cflflnltf urf( Flf durnu funrtf mult, ntuncn cnd nu pun fncf nnmnc, ctfudnt mult prfn mult. Fu frnm tutun mulumnt, c uchnn mfn nu nu fust ntncnn prfn tnrf. 0n cns !fdfnm tutul, nfnr n lumnnn strlucntunrf n!fnm dnfncultn. %fnsnnnlntntfn pfntru lumnn frn prfn mnrf, df multf urn frn nnflnmnt cun uctn!n n ncfst lucru frn durfrus. )nd nm prnmnt mnn trznu uchflnrn fumurnn, n df!fnnt sntunnn cu mult mnn nun. 'chnn mfn frnu prnctnc snngurul urgnn, cu cnrf putfm nntrn n cuntnct cu tut cffn cf m ncun urn. Fu putfnm urf n nr s m unt ln un lucru snu s m unt ln mutf snu ln flurn. 2ndnrfn fstf u trstur nmpurtnnt n mnrf n lun *umnfzfu, n spus Mnchnfl. Nncfnrc s tf nntrfnfzn n ncfnstn, ct df dfs pun tu. Ntuncn nu prfn nm nflfs nn df nnnf sfnsul spusflur lun. *nr nu frn nn df grn!. Nunln mfn m-n cundus. Fn mn-n lsnt nlfgfrfn dunr ntrf prutfst n rndnrf snu dnspfrnrf. 2ndnrfn frn .rul cfl mnn mnnur/ dup prfrfn mfn. Fu sunt nfmrgnnnt df mulumnt pfntru f,pfrnfnflf, pf cnrf nm n!ut !unf s lf trnfsc, pfntru n uturul, pf cnrf fu l-nm prnmnt. Nunln mfn mn-n fust un nun n!tur. Ntuncn n mnn fn schnmnnt urncnd cu un trup sntus. Nstzn n mulumfsc nf "nt, c nu nn dnt !unf cn s sf ntmplf. *unr un urn prfffr u cup frumus sculptnt n fn!unrfn unun nulgrf df nur. Fu nunfsc fflul cum Mnchnfl nflfgfn, s f,plncf lucrurn mnrn cu pnldf snmplf. )urpul, n!flnul mntfrnnl, fstf nmfdnnt ln ncfputul !nfnn drunt dnstrugfrnn, fr n sf dfplnsn sf ndrfnpt sprf prnunrf, dnr cf !nlunrf nrf fl fn df spnrntul nfmurntur( Fl fstf nchnsunrfn sn, l puntf nchndf n zdrunn, dn, ctfudnt l puntf uprn cu tutul - dnr dunr pfntru scurt tnmp. 0n cfl mnn ru cnz fstf un sumn cn n lun nln cn zpndn, cnrf df multf urn nu durfnz nncn u sut df nnn. *f un prnn cu numflf df munrtf fstf trfznt cu un srut dnn sumn spnrntul. )t df nnnf fstf, dnc fl puntf rfcununtf, c nu s-n lsnt prnd cflun cnrf l-n nchns, c n trnnt curpul n - ufncnnl s-n supus cu umnlnn - dnr n sfcrft n urcnt pf cflf mnn nnltf culmn. )f l nntfrfsfnz pf un pun, cnd nfsf, cun n, pf cnrf fl mnn nnnntf n spnrt-u( )f fulus nu tuntf plcfrnlf n nucurnlf trupftn n mprnn lun *umnfzfu( Ncflun, cnrf prnmftf cu mnl ncfnst cununtfrf. )urpul mfu n nlucunt ncfnst cununtfrf. Fr mnl, nrutnl - n tutun nfmrgnnnt df nunntur. 2ndnrfn( %f puntf gsn unrf n strfsul !nfnn( 0n nspnrnnn curpurnl, cnrf slu ftf dunr pfntru n sntnsfncf nf!unlf mntfrnnlf( )u muumnrf prnmfsc fu ncfst ustntnc, cnrf n zdrunnt curpul mfu, cnrf n drmnt zndurnlf nchnsurnn n n flnnfrnt spnrntul. Gfrmnnn, mntfmntncn, futnnlul frn urnrul frnnnlur mfn# pf nl mfu scrnn ns rndnrf n drngustf. Frn u cunl dur. )fl mnn ru frn fnptul, c nu m putfnm ntunrcf nncn mcnr snngur. Fu sttfnm dfsfurn znlf ntrfngn pf ncfnnn pnrtf. Mnmn nu n fcut cu sngurnn ncfnstn cu nntfnnf, dnr fn nu frn pur n snmplu cnpnnnl, s sf pun n lucul mfu. Fu sttfnm nn df mult pf u pnrtf pn cnd pnflfn sf nnflnmn df n. Frnu chnnurn mnrn n nntfrmnnnnnlf pf cnrf fu n trfnunt s lf supurt ntuncn. Nu putfnm s urlu# nn gfmfnm urf ntrfgn, dnr dunr cu rfzultntul, c mnmn sf rftrgfn n mnn mult fn df mnnf, pfntru c .plngcnunsn n furn n ultnmul grnm df nfr!n/. Fu ncfrcnm ntutdfnunn, s nu sdfsc urn, s nu fnc !rfun rfpru n s nu cundnmn. Frn nfmrgnnnt df grfu n m custn dfsfurn tuntf furflf. Frngul nu sf nmflnurfnz prnn frng, dnr cldurn tupftf cu tnmpul tunt ghfnn, n spus Mnchnfl. Fu tnnm c fl n!fn drfptntf. Fu mnn tnnm, c ncfstn frn snngurul drum, frn drumul mfu. *nr frn mult prfn nnrupt, pnftrus n nlunfcus. *f multf urn m gndfnm- prfn nnrupt. Fu snmfnm ntuncn putfrfn trupulun. )u cfn mnn mnrf nrm n sn, cu durfrfn, m pfdfpsfn fl ntuncn pf mnnf. n spnrntul nu n!fn nc putfrfn nfcfsnr s sf rndncf dfnsuprn. Fu frnm nc prnnzunnfrn curpulun mfu, n sfntnmfntflur mflf. *urfrfn cuntruln rfncnnlf n gndnrfn. Grfu n lung fstf drumul, cn s dfspnrn tfmpurnr sfntnmfntflf n prfrnlf curpulun n s lf pun ln dnspuznnn nntfrnurulun, ndf!rntulun Fu, n spnrntulun. N !fdfn, n nuzn, n mnrusn, n gustn n n snmn nu nu !unf s dfzlnunf rfncnn nutumntf n cunfurm sntunnfn, n spus u dnt Mnchnfl. "u trfnunf s rfcunutn ncfstf snmurn n s lf nrfgnstrfzn. *nr nu lsn nncnudnt cn flf s-n cuntrulfzf fnptflf n sfntnmfntflf tnlf. )nd cnnf!n tf n ur, ntuncn tu ftn suprnt, dnc cnnf!n tf dnsprfunftf, ftn trnst, dnc cnnf!n tf lnud, tu tf nucurn, n dnc cnnf!n n prncnnunftf u durfrf, ntuncn tu ncfpn s-l urtn. "u ftn ln ffl cn n un runut- *nc npfn pf un nutun, ntuncn fncf fl ncfnnn mncnrf pruprnf lun. )rfzn tu, c *umnfzfu n !rut s crffzf runun( Ntuncn nr fn putut fncf Fl tutul cu mult mnn uur. Fl n crfnt cu umul u fnnn, cnrf fstf dutnt cu tutul, c n d pusnnnlntntfn cn s fnf lnnfr, pfntru cn fl s punt n lnnfrtntf s urcf pf cflf mnn nnltf culmn nlf sffrflur. Multf pfrnculf pndfsc ln mnrgnnfn drumulun. Mult prfn dfs sf lns umul cun!nns, n !nndf prfnunsn lnnfrtntf pfntru u pnnf cu unt. "untf plcfrnlf nfftnnf, dfpfndfnflf mntfrnnlf n sf,unlf, nlcuhulul, fumntul, drugurnlf, tnnlftflf, mudn, cnrf trfnunf nfnprnt rfspfctnt, tuntf

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lucrurnlf ncflfn, pf cnrf trfnunf s lf fncn, cn s fn mnrf n fnn lumnn, mnnnfn cfn nuu, df cnrf fstf nf!unf, pfntru c n !fcnnul nrf unn, spurtul cfl nuu, fr cnrf nu ftn dfmn df sucnftntf, curntul, pfntru nrtnt !fcnnfn, c sf puntf n mnn nnnf. F,nst mnn df nstffl df .nfuruzf furntf/, cnrf nnuf tunt lnnfrtntfn, n l fnc pf um cn s df!nn un runut. n tutun n prnmnt umul u nrm mnnunnt, cnrf puntf nnf pnfpt tuturur ntncurnlurdrngustfn. *rngustfn sprf *umnfzfu n!nngf tuntf ncfstf prnmf dn. *rngustfn pfntru *umnfzfu nsfnmn s-$ nunftn pf ncfln, cnrf tf-n crfnt, mutn!ul n n ncflnn tnmp cnptul dfz!ultrnn mflf, Ncfln cnrf n-n dnt un sfns f,nstfnfn mflf, s-n nturc n dfplnn lnnfrtntf drngustfn %n. Ncfnst drngustfn dununr tuntf nnrfrnflf# cn un fnrtf, cn pf u sur !rfn *umnfzfu cn nun s fnm nlturn df Fl. Nu cn un %tpn mnrf !rfn cn s-$ nunnm, nu dnn cnuzn nflfpcnunnn %nlf, dnn cnuzn mrfnfn nfmrgnnntf n n supfrnurntnn %nlf. Fl !rfn dunr s fnf nunnt, pfntru c f,nst, cum un cupnl n nunftf mnmn, n mnmn n nunftf cupnlul. Ncfnst drngustfn ndf!rnt trfnunf s crfnsc, cn fn s nu fnf tulnurnt df nnsulut nnmnc. Nnmnc s n-u mnn dfrnn fzf n !fcn snu s-u sunnfzf. Fn fstf cf!n unnc, cf!n df nfntrfcut, cf!n sfnt. Fn fstf mrfn, cfl mnn nnlt lucru cnrf n f,nstnt n !n f,nstn. Fn fstf cnuzn n sfnsul !nfnn, dn, fstf nsun !nnn. *nr nu fstf pusnnnl, cn s fn crfnt cu u nsfmfnfn drngustf. )hnnr n pfntru un *umnfzfu ntutputfrnnc nu fstf pusnnnl. )cn ntuncn nr fn crfnt dunr nntf runun. )f cuntfnz u drngustfn pfntru mnnf, cnrf nu nrf nncn u nlfgfrf, cnrf trfnunf s m nunfnsc, pfntru c n lnpsftf pusnnnlntntfn, cn s nu fnu nunnt( *rngustfn unfn ffmfn fstf df ncffn nn df prfnuns, pfntru c fn s-n dfcns n lnnfrtntf pfntru ncfnstn. Fn nr fn ct sf puntf df nf!nluruns, dnc nr f,nstn pf lumf dunr un nrnnt, nn c fn nu nr mnn n!fn df fnpt nncn u nltfrnntn!. *f nnnn dfcnznn lnnfr fncf nn df prfnuns drngustfn. n pfntru *umnfzfu. Fl nu n !rut runun. Nn n trfnunt s nf crffzf nlfgfrn pfntru dfz!ultnrf, undf nun putfm s nf hutrm n lnnfrtntf. &fntru *umnfzfu snu pfntru nnnn, pfntru *umnfzfu snu pfntru sf,, pfntru *umnfzfu snu dfpfndfnn df drugurn, pfntru *umnfzfu snu pfntru nfnumrntflf .nfuruzf furntf/. *umnfzfu nf lns !unt ncfnst nlfgfrf. Fl nu puntf n nu nrf !unf s nntfr!nn. Muln spun, fu crfd df nnnn ntuncn n *umnfzfu, cnd l !d, ntuncn cnd Fl n nfptunt u mnnunf n fnn uchnnlur mfn, cn fu s put fn sngur. *nr cf nr fn ntuncn, dnc Fl nr nfptun u nstffl df mnnunf( *nc Fl s-nr nrtn n mrfnn n mnnunnn %n( Ntuncn nr spunf ntr-ndf!r fnfcnrf- *n, ncum put n sfrnt s crfd, ncum tf !un nunn ntr-ndf!r. *nr ncfnstn nu mnn fstf u nlfgfrf lnnfr. Ncfn drngustf nu !nlurfnz nnsulut nnmnc. Fn nu pru!nnf dnn nnnm, cn dnn rnnunf. *rngustfn cnlculnt puntf fn ctfudnt cunfundnt pf pmnt cu drngustfn ndf!rnt, dnr pf *umnfzfu nu pun s-$ nfln. Nr fn tut ncflnn lucru, cn n cnd u ffmfnf l-nr nunn pf un nrnnt dunr ntuncn, dnc n sf pnr dfstul df mnrn pruprnftnnlf snlf n dnc ncfstn nrf dfstun nnnn. Ncfnstn nu nrf df-n fncf nnmnc cu drngustfn. Ndf!rntn drngustfn - n ncfnstn f,nst dunr ln *umnfzfu - fstf pur df urncf udfcnt. Fn nu punf cundnnn, nu ntfnpt nnmnc n schnmn. Fn nunftf pur n snmplu. Nn !rfn *umnfzfu cn Fl s fnf nunnt. %nmplu, pfntru c f,nst. Nu dnn cnuzn, cn nun s nu n ungfm n .nnd/# dnn dnn cnuzn, cn nun s n ungfm n .rnn/ n s n!fm nculu lnnntfn !fnnc# nu, pfntru c *umnfzfu nrf tuntf pusnnnlntnnlf, c s nf fnc ct mnn plcut .!nnn !fnnc/. *umnfzfu nu !rfn s fnf nunnt dnntr-un mutn! snu nltul, cn dunr pfntru snmplul fnpt c f,nst. n pfntru ncfnstn nu fstf nncn mcnr nfcfsnr, cn Fl s stfn dfpnrtf df pmnt, dfunrfcf f,nst lucrurn, cnrf nf dnu nltfrnntn!f, c Fl nf lns u ndf!rnt nlfgfrf. %fmnf f,nst dfstulf, Fnfcnrf, cnrf l cnut, l ! gsn pf Fl pfstf tut dnn nflug. )f fstf nnturn nltcf!n, dfct un mnrncul n lun *umnfzfu( Flunrfn, cnrf crftf dnn np, pumul, cnrf crftf dnn smn( %nu frunzn df nfgunnf, cnrf dnntr-u snngur frunz crftf, n df!nnf u plnnt( Fr dnfncultn puntf fnfcnrf, cnrf !rfn, s !nd c n spntflf fn sf nfl u putfrf urdunnt. N fn df prfrfn, c tutul s-n ntmplnt dnn grffnl dnntr-u mntfrnf str!fchf, ndnc urdnnfn n rfnfnt dnn hnus, fstf ntt df nnsurd cn n prfrfn, cn nnsnpul dnn dffrt nr putfn s cunstrunnsc fr un pnc df n utur u pnrnmnd, dunr c n trfnunf sufncnfnt tnmp. )nnf n !zut s rfnfsf urdnnfn dnn hnus( *unr nn( N duun pnrtf n ncfstfn nrmf df drngustf fstf drngustfn pfntru nprunpflf. Fn nu sf dfusfnftf nprunpf dfluc df drngustfn pfntru *umnfzfu. Nn cum sf put n!nngf tuntf nspntflf mntfrnnlf, dfpfndfnflf n nfcfsntnnlf, nn puntf drngustfn pfntru nprunpflf s tf cucfrfnsc. %nu cum n putfn fu s snmt ur, dc l nunfsc pf cfl df lng mnnf( %nu cum n putfn s-n fnc rfpruurn( "untf sfntnmfntflf nfgntn!f sf cucfrfsc prnn drngustfn pfntru nprunpflf. Fn nu ntrfnn df cf, fn fstf pur n snmplu prfzfnt, pfntru fnfcnrf. )um n putfn fu, m ntrfnn tu, s-l nunfsc pf dumnnul mfu., cnrf !rfn s-mn fnc dunr ru( Fstf ct sf puntf df snmplu. Fl fstf tut ncfnnn, cf ftn n tu. Fl fstf u fnnn n lun *umnfzfu, crfnt prnn drngustf pfntru drngustf. *umnfzfu l nunftf pf fl ln ffl cn n pf tnnf. *rngustfn nu fncf dnffrfnf. )um nn putfn tu ntuncn, dnc nfnrmn, c l nunftn pf *umnfzfu, s-l urtn pf ncfln, pf cnrf *umnfzfu l nunftf ln ffl cn n pf tnnf( *nc nunftn pf cnnf!n cu ndf!rnt, ntuncn l nunftn cu tutul, cu tuntf dfffctflf snlf. *nc l nunftn ntr-ndf!r pf *umnfzfu, ntuncn trfnunf s-$ nunftn ntru tutul, nn, cum Fl n nunftf tuntf fnnnflf fr nncn u dfusfnnrf. )um pun tu ntuncn s urtn unn dnn ncfstf fnnnf( Ncfst lucru nu f,nst nncn mcnr n drngustfn lumfnsc. *nc un nrnnt n nunftf funrtf mult prnftfnul, ntuncn fstf cfl punn tulfrnt snu trntnt cu prnftfnnf df sunn ncflunn n ln *umnfzfu s fnf unrf nltffl( Nr trfnun s nf purtm cfl punn frumus cu nprunpflf nustru. Ncfstn fstf cfl mnn cfrt lucru df pf lumf. *nr nu dnspfrn. Fstf ntr-ndf!r cfl mnn grfu. Nun !um mnn !urnn dfsfurn df ncfst lucru. )hnnr n nstzn nm n!ut !unf mult tnmp s m plnmn nrn ln nrn cu Mnchnfl pfstf cmpnn frumus mnrusntunrf, n nm n!ut !unf s ndulmfc nfrul rcurus n prunspt. Frn tut ncfnnn lumnn, u mnnunnt n funrtf lumnnnt lumnn df nsfrnrf, cnrf ns nu nrtn nncn u umnr n !rfu pnrtf. %unrflf nu sf putfn !fdfn nncn undf. Fflurn nfmrgnnntf df flurn n df pumn nf ntmpnnnu. Fu pur n snmplu nu m put f,prnmn nltffl. Nnturn nu frn dunr prfzfnt, fn prfn s trnnsc mprfun cu nun, prfn s nnn lfgtur cu sfntnmfntflf nunstrf, n s nnflufnfzf stnrfn nunstr n n ncflnn tnmp cun!nnn df fn, dn, chnnr purtnn. Multf psrn cntnu n urul

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nustru, muln fluturn nf ncun urnu, nlnnnflf zumznnu, tutul n urul nustru frn plnn df !nn. )hnnr n nnnmnlflf nu frn dunr nn nculu. Flf prfnu s fnf u pnrtf dnn mnnf n frnu ntr-un ffl mnstfrnus cu mult mnn !nn, dfct fu lf-nm putut rfcfpnunn pf pmnt. Nncnundf nu sf snmfn nncn mcnr u urm df frnc snu df grn n. *unr drngustf. Fnfcnrf ddfn tutul cf n!fn n tutun tnn, c nnmfnn nu n lun nnmnc. Fu m rfgsfnm n ncflf psrn, n ncflf mnnunntf flurn, n cfl mnn mnc mflc. Fu tnnm cu cfrtntudnnf, fu frnm flf, n flf frnu fu, n tutun nu frnm unn n ncfnnn fnnn. Flf nu frnu nmngnnn nlf fnntfznfn# sf putfn s lf ntnngn, sf putfn !urnn cu flf, fr cn s trfnunnsc s !urnftn. "untf lfgturnlf gndurnlur uffrfnu u cumunncnnf, cnrf fstf nprunpf df nfdfscrns. Fu frnm cnpnnnl, s cuprnnd ntrfngn lur fnnn, tuntf sfntnmfntflf lur. Nu m putfnm dunr trnnsffrn n flf, fu putfnm s lf prnmfsc n mnnf ntru tutul. Frn - cn n cum drngustfn sf nunftf pf snnf. )ffn cf tu !fzn n trnftn nncn, nu nrf nnmnc cu cf s sf nsfmfnf pf pmnt. &f pmnt trfcf fnfcnrf plnnt, fnfcnrf nnnmnl, nn chnnr fnfcnrf pnntr prnn pruprnn sn dfz!ultnrf. Ncfstfn tuntf sunt scntfn df duh nlf lun *umnfzfu, cnrf sunt cundusf prnn nfsfrnt df multf stndnn nntfrmfdnnrf ln mnturntntf. *nc tu !rfn s tf cunfctfzn cu flf, ntuncn trfnunf tu s tf ncumudfzn cu stnrfn lur df uscnlnnf, cffn cf prfsupunf u nnlt mnturntntf duhu!nncfnsc. &fntru umul unnnunt nu fstf n cunsfcnn !nznnnl u cunf,nunf. Fflul df gndnrf mntfrnnlnst nu lns rflnnnlf s sf rfcununsc, cn trfnunf s !nd n ncfstfn n mud unlngnturnu furmf df !nn nutunumf n fsfnnnl dnffrntf fn df pfrsunnn pruprnf. Nu nn fstf n lumfn duhu!nncfnsc. Nncn fstf tutul n tnnf, cffn cf !fzn, tutul cf trnftn. &fntru c numnn cffn, cf fstf n tnnf, pun tu s n trnftn n s snmn. Fstf u pnrtf dnn tnnf n tu u pnrtf dnn ncfnstn. "ut cf fstf, sunt scntfn df !nn nlf lun *umnfzfu. Nn cum pncturn n mnrf df!nnf unn cu mnlnnrdflf df nltf pncturn, dnn f,tfrnur nf mnn fnnnd pusnnnl u dfusfnnrf, cu tuntf nstfn rfnnndu-n nutunumnn pf dfplnn, n fflul ncfstn sf !fdf u fnnn dfz!ultnt duhu!nncfsc nntfgrnt n ntrfngn crfnnf. Nn cum u pnctur, cnd fn nghfn, n pnfrdf unnrfn cu cflflnltf pncturn, dfnnrnsndu-sf df cflflnltf cn crnstnl pruprnu, nn n pnfrdf umul sfntnmfntul df n fn unn cu crfnnn, dnc fl nsun sf dfnnrnsfnz, cnd fl fugf df cldur n cnd rcfnln mntfrnfn l fncf prnzunnfr. *nc un suflft sf ustfnftf numnn pfntru cffn cf fstf mntfrnnl n nfgln fnz !nlurnlf duhu!nn!ftn, ntuncn trfnunf fl n nncn s sf mulumfnsc cu u mprf urnmf pustnf. )nnf lns drngustfn s sf ufnlfnsc, ncfln nu !n putfn nncn s nduc flurn ln n!fnl. "utul fstf drngustf. Nn df mult drngustfn ct tu nn dfz!ultnt n tnnf, ntt df mult drngustf pun tu s pruducn dnn tnnf n lumfn duhu!nncfnsc. )ffn cf nn !zut n nn trnt nstzn, n fust df-nnnn ncfputul. Nn cum tu nn unsfr!nt df n, stpnftf u lumnn df nsfrnrf cuntnnu. *f n ntr-ndf!r unn funrtf lumnnuns, dnr sunrflf nc nu sf puntf !fdfn. "u nncn nu l-nn putfn nc supurtn. 0n lumfn duhu!nncfnsc nnmnc nu sf rfnnf fr drfpt cn .pfdfnps/. "u prnmftn tuntf, pf cnrf lf pun supurtn. 0n .nnd/ nu sf nrunc unmfnnn. Ncfnstn fstf u stnrf, n cnrf tf nfln, pfntru c nu pun supurtn lumnnn. n dfsprf ncfst lucru !um !urnn nun nc dfs. *nc tu nn !fdfn sunrflf duhu!nncfsc n ncfnst prfzfnt stnrf df uscnlnnf n tn, tu nn nrdf cn un nfc, cnrf fstf nlnmfntnt dnntr-u surs df curfnt putfrnnc df 5;;;;; df !uln. Fl puntf numnn ntuncn fulusn curfntul, dnc ncfstn fstf trnnsfurmnt n us ln 44; df !uln. 0n ncflnn ffl trnnsfurm n us surflf-lun-7rnstus df fnfcnrf dnt lumnnn lun ln stnrfn df uscnlnnf, n cnrf tu tf nfln n ncfst fnpt nu sf ntmpl ntuncn, pfntru n-n nrtn, c tu mnn nn mult pn cf !fn fn mntur! %f ntmpl dnn drngustf fn df tnnf, pfntru c tu n-nn putfn supurtn mnn mult, fnnndc tu nn nrdf n ncfnstn. F,nst dunr ncfstf duu pusnnnltn. 'rn n trnnsfurm 7rnstus lumnnn $un n us ln nn!flul tu, snu tu n trnnsfurmn uscnlnnnlf tnlf n sus ln sunrflf-lun-7rnstus. )nlfn sprf ncfnstn u cunutn tu. "rnnsfurmnturul fstf drngustfn, drngustfn snngur. Fn prnmftf nflfpcnunfn pf grntns, n tnmp cf ntrfngn nflfpcnunf n pmntulun nu !n prnmn nncn mcnr u pnctur df drngustf, dnc fn nu u nducf snngur ln n!fnl. *umnfzfu pusfd tunt nflfpcnunfn. Fl nu nrf nf!unf df nflfpcnunfn tn. Fl n d cu drng cf!n df ln ncfnstn, ntt df mult ct pun tu supurtn. )ffn cf Fl !rfn n nrf nf!unf df ln tnnf, fstf drngustfn tn. *fschndfn uchnn tn n ndrgustftf-tf df Fl. 3 Fu n-nm dfschns n nm prn!nt n uchnn tntlun mfu. Ncum m-nm nmnntnt fu nnrn. Fl m lunsf tnndru n nrnflf snlf, n fu nm ndurmnt ffrncnt n ncfstfn. "ntl nu n spus nnmnc. Fl prn!fn numnn ln mnnf. )u prn!nrfn lun cnld, cunusctunrf m-n nfurnt, m-n lunt pf mnnf n snnf. $n fl nm fust fu prutf nt. $n fl n-nm mnn fust fu u nn!nlnd. Fu frnm un um, fu frnm fnncn lun, pf cnrf fl u nunfn. Fncf nn df nnnf, s fnn nunnt! *rngustfn n!nngf urncf durfrf, fncf tuntf grn nlf untntf. *f cf frn tntl numnn nn df rnr ncns, df cf numnn nu putfn fl s fnf mnn dfs ln mnnf( )um nr fn dnc m-nr nflfgf, dnc m-nr mnrnn mnn tnrf. Fu mn-nm dnt nstzn dfmnsnn. Mnmn nu mnn n!usf nfr dnn cnuzn spnnmfn. Nncn mcnr cnffnun fnfrnnntf prfn fn c nu u unsfr!, pf cnrf n !rsnt-u pf ruchnn fn. Fu nu mnn !rfnu s fnu nn df mult pf drum. Fu npnrnn nncn, df tnnf n mnn nlfs n df Nnrnnrn. Ncfnstn fstf ru!untur! *nc tu m-nn nunn chnnr numnn punn, n-nn fn fcut tu ncfnstn. "u nu !fn mnn gsn nncnudnt nnrn un luc df munc, undf ctngn ntnn nnnn. *nn cf s-mn pltfsc fu dfcn ncum hnnnflf mflf, mnnnn nuu, pf cnrf !runnm s-u cumprm n !nr( "rfnunf tu ntutdfnunn s strncn tutul( *f n df nn df mult tnmp mn-nn prumns tu un cu!ur, cn n sfrnt nnmfnn s nu mnn punt s-n nnt uc df .pudfnu nunstr df lfmn-df unmfnn-srncn/. *nn cf !rfn "u ncum s pltftn tuntf ncfstfn( )f !rfn s fncn "u ntr-ndf!r( Nn tu df n un nuu luc df munc(

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Nu! n nncn cffn cf !un fncf fu, nu tnu nc. Fu tnu numnn, c Nnrnnrn nrf nf!unf df mnnf, n ncfnstn mn n ungf. *nc n fn fcut fu tutun ntuncn un n!urt cu ncfst lucru nlfstfmnt. &rnn cf nm mfrntnt fu ncfnstn. "unt znun nm numnn df lucru n ntnnf df cnp cu fn, n ncum m rfspnngn tu nc n nnpun dnn cnuzn fn. ' *unmnf, df cf fstf lumfn numnn nn df nfdrfnpt! Fu ! ursc pf !un tun! Fn sf luptn cu lncrnmnlf, n cnd un czusf n nnl, trfnunn fu s m gndfsc ln cu!nntflf lun Mnchnfl- 'rn u pun snmn curpurnl. )n sgfn nscuntf s-n nfnpt ncfnstn ndnc n trupul mfu mnc n l-n cutrfmurnt. "ntn m-n strns prutfctur ln snnf. *n, fl df!fnnsf nfntncnnnl. *rngustfn lun l-n nfurnt prutf ndu-l pf fl cn u plntu. Fu tnnm c fl u !n lun pf mnmn, cnd fn sf !n fn lnnntnt, nnrn n nrnflf snlf n nu-n !n rfprun nncnudnt nnmnc, n-u !n mnn nmnntn cu nncn un cu!nt ln cffn cf sf ntmplnsf. Fu l ndmnrnm pf tntn. &utfn fl, unrf, s !nd df n sunrflf( "ntn frn muntur ln u fnrm mnrf, cnrf frn cu prfcdfrf nctn! n strnntntf. Fl frn dfsfurn pntru sptmnn snu nc mnn mult plfcnt n !fnfn ntuncn cfl mult pfntru ctf!n znlf ncns, pfntru n fn trnmns nnrn nmfdnnt cu u nuu nsrcnnnrf ntr-u nlt nr. Fl n trfnunt ntr-ndf!r s fn ctngnt ln ncfnstn funrtf muln nnnn. 0n urncf cnz fusfsf mnmn n ncfst tnmp funrtf mndr df fl. )u cf nr putfn fl ncum ntr-ndf!r s sf ucupf( )u sngurnn n-n dfmnsnunnt fl fr s sf gndfnsc. "utul cf fcfn tntn, frn chnnzunt nnnf. Fl nu ncnunn nncnudnt fmununnl. Fl n stpnfn sfntnmfntflf snlf. Nun trnnm ntr-u mnc guspudrnf, pf cnrf tntn u mutfnnsf df ln nunncu, ntr-un ctun cu nltf upt guspudrnn, dfpnrtf, ntr-u mprf urnmf sngurntnc, prsnt. Nfgln nt, unnnunn mnmn s spun. )fl mnn nprupnnt urn mnn mnrf cu cf!n ndustrnf sf nfln ln u dnstnn df 9; df =m. Nnnnntf cundusfsf tntn guspudrnn. $n ncfput n n mfrs funrtf nnnf, cu tuntf c mnmn nu n utn nncnudnt, pfntru c .muncn df mnzfrnf/ frn sun dfmnntntfn fn. Nun pusfdnm ntuncn 9 !ncn n > hn. df pmnt. "ntn !nsnsf ntutdnunn dup ncflf tnmpurn. Fl trfnunn ntrndf!r s fn fust ntuncn funrtf ffrncnt. Mnmn !runn df n dnntutdfnunn mnn mult. Fn !runn s punt trn nn cn rudflf fn dnn urnul mnrf. Nn hnnnf mudfrnf, ntr-u lucunn curnt, cu u mnnn nuu, n mnn nlfs- fnfcnrf nn s mfnrg n cuncfdnu. "ntn nu s-n lsnt nncnudnt nmprfsnunnt df ncfnstn. Nun nu suntfm nncn pf pmnt, n spusf fl mnmfn, pfntru n ctngn ct sf puntf df muln nnnn n s nf mpu!rm cu multf lucrurn mntfrnnlf. Nun suntfm nncn, pfntru n strngf ct sf puntf df multf f,pfrnfnf, pfntru cn s prugrfsm duhu!nncftf mnn dfpnrtf, pfntru n-n n utn pf nlnn, nu pfntru nnnn, cn df drngul lur nnn. Nun trfnunf s nf n!m n drngustf n rndnrf, n mnn nlfs trfnunf nun s rfcununtfm, c nnnnn n tuntf lucrurnlf mntfrnnlf sunt nfnmpurtnntf, nn chnnr duntunrf, ccn flf nf nnnt df pf cnlfn duhu!nncfnsc. %nngurul lucru, cf nf rmnf !fnnc, sunt rundflf duhu!nncftn. n ncfstfn sf mnturnzfnz n srcnf n smfrfnnf ndfsfn mnn nnnf dfct n nugnf n ngmfnrf. "ntn nncn n-nr fn cfdnt ntr-ndf!r nncnudnt, dnc n-nr fn ncfput ntuncn mnrfn !ntunrf df hntunnl mputrn!n tuturur mncnlur rnnn n fn!unrfn fnnrncnlur ngrnrf tut mnn mnrn. )tngurnlf sczusfr tut mnn mult, muncn rnnnlur n-n mnn n!ut nncn u !nlunrf. Mnnnn mnrn nu putfn tntn s-n pfrmnt, n n utur nnfsc prnmfn fl numnn ncfpnd df ln u nnumnt mrnmf. Fucnunnrnn rnftn n uffrnsfr, s fnnnfzf u crfscturnf df !nfn, un grn d pfntru cfl punn <; pn ln 1;; df nnnmnlf dutnt cu tuntf nmfnn rnlf mudfrnf, fnfcnrf !nfl snngur ntr-u nu, ngust, cn ncfstn s nu cunsumf prfn mult mncnrf prnn mncnrf. 2fsfntnmfntf n sfntnmfntnlntn nu nr ngdun pnnn. 'rn fl ln sf nlturn, snu fl sf lsn pgunn. "ntn s-n lsnt pgunn. &fntru fl frn fnfcnrf nnnmnl, chnnr fnfcnrf plnnt prfn sfnt, nn nct s fn putut ngdun, s mnltrntfzf nstffl un nnnmnl. Nu cum!n s ! gndnn, spusf fl, c nnnmnlflf snu n plnntflf nr fn dnn tfmflnf cf!n dnffrnt fn df um. Ncfstfn nn sf nsfnmn cu mult mnn mult, dfct !un crfdfn. Fnfcnrf nnnmnl, fnfcnrf plnnt nrf df n un suflft. Fnfcnrf fnnn fstf u crfntur n lun *umnfzfu, ndus ln n!fnl dnn drngustfn lun nfmrgnnnt. Fnfcnrf nnnmnl, fnfcnrf plnnt nrf sfntnmfntf, cnrf pnrnnl rfncnunfnz cu mult mnn sfnsnnnlf dfct cflf nlf nunstrf. )flf mnn multf nnnmnlf pusfd n nn cf!n cn un nl nptflfn snmn# cflur mnn muln unmfnn lf-n dnsprut dunr df mult ncfstn. Fnfcnrf rnn tnf, cum nnnmnlflf sf mputrn!fsc nnstnnctn!, cnd ncfstfn mfrg n dnrfcnn cnsfn df sncrnfncnrf, cu tuntf c flf n-nu fust nc nncnudnt cunfruntntf cu ncfnstn. Fncfn-! stpnn nsuprn pmntulun, n spus *umnfzfu. Nu- dumnnn cn tnrnnn pfstf pmnt, ncunnn nnnmnlflf, chnnunn-lf, ucndfnlf, n nucurnn-! ln ncfnstn. Nnnmnlflf sunt mncnn nutrn frnn n mnrfn fnmnlnf n lun *umnfzfu. Nun nr trfnun s n!fm gr df flf, s lf ndrumm n s lf cunducfm. &rnn fflul nustru fgunst, nrutnl n nfumfnfsc, s chnnun nnnmnlflf dnn mutn!f curnt mntfrnnlf cn cfl mnn ru ntfmnntur, nf prncnnunm nuu nnnf cfl mnn mult ru. &f df-u pnrtf dnrfct prnn cunsumnrfn crnnn, cnrf pusfd nfnumrntf sunstnnf utr!ntunrf n mfdncnmfntf. *f-nnnn hurmunnn, nntnnnutncflf n nnnnulflf stfrundf fnc dunr pusnnnlf ncfstf mftudf pfr!frsf df ngrnrf. Nprunpf tuntf sf dfpun n cnrnf n sunt df n nstzn rfspunsnnnlf pfntru funrtf multf mnuln!nrn n dfrnn rn nlf mftnnulnsmflur. Nl dunlfn punct cntrftf nc mnn dffn!urnnnl. ) nnnmnlflf put gndn, n fust df n df mult du!fdnt df nnulugnf. Ncfnstn fstf u gndnrf prnmntn!, nnstnnctn!, dnr ncfstfn sunt uscnlnnn nlf gndurnlur, cnrf, n prnncnpnu, nu sf dfusfnfsc prnn nnmnc df cflf nlf nunstrf. "utul cf fstf, fstf fnfrgnf, tut un gnd n ncfst lucru l-n du!fdnt fnzncn df n df mult tnmp. "ut nn cn n fnptul, c fnfrgnn nu puntf fn nncnudnt dnstrus. Fn puntf ntr-ndf!r s fnf trnnsfurmnt n nltf furmf df fnfrgnf, dnr nu puntf nncnudnt s fnf dnstrus. )f gndfsc nndnr nnnmnlflf, cnrf sunt chnnuntf ntr-un nsfmfnfn hnl( Ncfstfn sunt gndurn df frnc, tfnm, chnn, pnrnnl ntr-ndf!r n nsfmntunrf cu urn nunstr, n gfnfrnl dfcn fnfrgnf nfgntn!. Ncfnst fnfrgnf nu sf puntf f!npurn. Fn nf mpu!rfnz cn u snnnf n lun *nmuclf. *fsngur, fn nu puntf fn msurnt n cntrnt, n nncn nu fstf !nznnnl. *nr nncn rndnunctn!ntntfn nu fstf !nznnnl, n tutun nrf fn fffctf df!nstntunrf! Ncfnst

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fnfrgnf nfgntn! nf prncnnunftf nuu tuturur pngun. Fn curfspundf cu rndnunctn!ntntfn n sffrn duhu!nncfnsc. )ffn cf rndnunctn!ntntfn prncnnunftf curpulun, ncfst lucru l prncnnunftf duhulun ncfnst fnfrgnf nfgntn!. Nnmfnn nu puntf spunf, ncfnstn n-nm tnut-u, ncfst lucru nu l-nm !rut! Nun tun suntfm dfnsfmfnfn !nnu!nn ln ncfnst stnrf. *rngustf curnt nu ncftfnz f,nct n fnn fpturnlur cflur mnn nfputnncnunsf, fn lf nncludf pf ncfstfn n prnmul rnd. )nd tntn n f,prnmnt ncfstf gndurn n ndunnrfn cnrcumscrnpnfn rnnnlur, l-nu rupt fn df-n drfptul. Numnn punnn prnftfnn nu nnut cu fl, unnn nu df!fnnt ngndurnn, mnrfn mn urntntf l-n numnt un ndnut !nstur, fr nncn un snm nl rfnlntnn. %nu cf nltcf!n sf puntf crfdf dfsprf un rnn !fgftnrnnn, cnrf rfspnngf cunsumul df cnrnf n dnn mutn!f df sntntf n dnn mutn!f ftncf( 0n nnzn ncfstfn cu!ntrn, cnrf n pru!ucnt cf!n sfnznnf n n prfs, n fust fl ntuncn f,clus dnn nsucnnnn rnnnlur pf mutn! df cumpurtnmfnt duntur pfntru nsucnnnf. *f-nnnn mult mnn trznu nm nflnt fu ncfnst ntmplnrf df ln Mnchnfl. "ntl tu, spusf fl, fstf unul dnntrf cfn muln sfnnn, cnrf rmn nfcunuscun, cnrf lucrfnz n lucrurn mncn n nscunsf. )ffn cf fl n rfcunuscut cn fnnnd drfpt, ncfnstn n n susnnut-u, fr n nrusn un gnd pfntru snnf. Fl n ntmpnn pf tun cu drngustf, n n ut pf tun, nu rnftf pf nnmfnn, fr s cfdfzf !rfudnt, dnc cnnf!n ndur strnccnunf snu dnc lfgfn dumnfzfnnsc fstf nfrfspfctnt. Fl fstf unul dnntrf ncfnn, cnrf ntrfsc nnnflf n lumf n l spurfsc. 'nmfnn cnrf !ur s nnuntnfnsc lumfn n-nu rfunt nncnudnt s ntnng !rfun scup. )u!ntrn mnrn n durnnn f!ln!nuns, ncfnn df sus s fnc n sfrnt cf!n, n-nu n utnt nc nnmnun cu nnmnc. Fnfcnrf puntf s mnuntfnsc lumfn, nnumf nculu, undf fl trnftf. $umfn, ncfnstn fstf mprf urnmfn tn, unmfnnn, ncftnn sunt nprunpflf tu. Nu-n crntncn, nu-n cundnmnn! %chnmn-tf numnn tu nsun, n cfnlnln sf schnmn nutumntnc mprfun cu tnnf. Fn rfncnunfnz ln uscnlnnnlf tnlf. *up ur urmfnz nrnrfurn drngustfn. *nr fn df drngustf nu puntf nnmfnn pf durnt lung s rfncnunfzf cu ur. &f lng f,fmplul tu mnc nu puntf nnmfnn pf lung durnt s trfnc, fr s fnf mulnpsnt . Nu fstf pusnnnl, s nsculn un cuncfrt df urg n n ncflnn tnmp s flunfrn u dunn. Nu fstf pusnnnl, s tf unn ln u lumnnrf n s !fzn ntunfrnc, nncn mcnr cu uchnn nchnn. *nr lumnnrfn trfnunf s nrd, tu trfnunf s-u nprnnzn. )fn mnn muln !urnfsc ntutdfnunn numnn dfsprf fnptul, c cnnf!n nr trfnun s-u nprnnd. Fstf dfnsfmfnfn mult mnn plnn df sfns, s nprnnzn u lumnnrf, dfct s !urnftn dfsprf ncfst lucru, c n ncfst ntunfrnc nr trfnun cfl punn duuzfcn s fnf nprnnsf. $umfn fstf cn un uc df dumnnu. %f nfl u sut df pnftrf ntr-un rnd unn n spntflf cflfnlnltf. )fn cnrf !ur s mnuntfnsc lumfn ncfnrc ncum, s lf rstunrnf pf tuntf ncfstfn n ncflnn tnmp, n pfntru c ncfst lucru nu fstf pusnnnl, fufnz fn snu sf rfsfmnfnz. $n ncfnstn fstf ns tutun nn df snmplu. "u trfnunf s rsturnn dunr ncfn pnntr, cnrf sf nfl lng tnnf, n rfncnn n lnn cnrf urmfnz ntuncn lf rstunrn pf tuntf cflflnltf fr nntfr!fnnn tn n cuntnnunrf. ' ln!nn ncfpf ntutdfnunn n prupurnn mncn, ntr-un punct. Fn nu sf ntfn nncnudnt mnrf n tutun n!fn dfsurn un fffct nnmncntur. "ntl tu n-n ntfptnt ncfnst ln!nn pf cnrf cnnf!n .df sus/ s-u dfzlnunf u dnt. Fl n dfclnnnt mnn multf ln!nnf mnnusculf. *nc flf !ur df!fnn ln!nnf mnrn, ncfst lucru dfpnndf df mnn multf mprf urrn. Ncfst lucru nu st ln ndfmnn !unstr, pfntru ncfnstn !un nu suntfn rfspunsnnnln. *nr trfnunf tutun s-u dfclnnnn! $umfn nu n fust crfnt dunr ntr-u snngur zn. )rfdfn !un, c ntr-u snngur zn n putfn schnmnn chnpul cu tutul( )fn mnn muln rfnun dup u scurt !rfmf, ntuncn cnd fn nu zrfsc nncn un succfs. Fn sf gndfsc dunr ln snnf. *f cf nu dfclnnfnz pur n snmplu u ln!nn, cnrf n n ungf dnn urm pf cupnnn lur snu chnnr n pf nfpunn lur( 0n dumfnnul mntfrnnl sf gndfsc muln df n ln znun df punmnnf. )upnnn nncn nnnf nu sunt nc nscun, n mutfnnrfn fstf df n prugrnmnt pn n cfl mnn mnc dftnlnu. *nr n spnrnt, trfnunf cn tutul s sf ntmplf pf luc, ccn, nltffl, nf pnfrf curn ul, dfunrfcf .nu putfm n nn s schnmnm cf!n/. Nn-l cn f,fmplu pf tntl tu. Fl n dfclnnnt multf, cu tuntf c fl nu tnf ncfst fnpt. Fl nu n fcut nncnudnt cf!n dnn cnuzn succfsulun. Fl n ncnunnt, nn cum n trfnunt s ncnunfzf. "ntn n !ndut pf ncfn !rfmf !ncnlf unun prnftfn, undf tnn c lf !n mfrgf nnnf, n-n nrfndnt pf lng ncfnstn n pmntul n n nccfptnt slu nn cn muntur n ncum n dfmnsnunnt. *nc nu n fn fust mut, nu n fn putut s stpnfsc un npt df nucurnf. Nmngnnfn, c tntn !n fn mnn dfs nlturn df mnnf, frn mult prfn frumuns. )u snngurnn c Mnchnfl n nrnn nt ncfnstn, dfunrfcf fu l-nm rugnt df multf urn. *rngul mfu Mnchnfl, fu n mulumfsc, c prnmfsc nn df mult n utur. "ntn m-n mnn strns nc u dnt cu trnf n nrnflf snlf, m-n srutnt n n-n lunt rmns nun. &fntru ultnmn unr n trfnunt s plfcf fl pfntru u pfrnund df nsf sptmnn, n ntuncn( *n, cf sf !n ntmpln ntuncn( Frnu nsf sptmnn durf pfntru mnnf. Fu ncfrcnm, ct df nnnf putfnm, dnr un succfs nu sf putfn zrn. Mnmn mfn frn cu mult mnn tnrf suprnt n rfzfr!nt fn df mnnf. Fu u prn!fnm ct putfnm fu df nunntur, fu n durfnm n gnd dunr drngustf, fu supurtnm tuntf durfrnlf cu rndnrf, dnr ncfnstn nu n n utnt ln nnmnc. Fn m-n lsnt pur n snmplu ntr-u pnrtf. Mncnrfn mn-u nducfn nfrfgulnt n mputrn!n !unnfn fn. )f nu n fn dnt cn s fnu punn mnn nndfpfndfnt! % put mncn snngur snu s put mfrgf cfl punn ln tunlft. *nr fu ncfrcnm, s nu m cfrt cu sunrtn, fu ncfrcnm dnn rsputfrn, s nu furmfz gndurn nfgntn!f. Ntuncn cnd fn n urn, dfunrfcf mnm udnt, ncfrcnm cn s-u nflfg, ncfrcnm s mn cfr u nfrtnrf mut, c fu n-nm dnt dnn nuu ntt df lucru. Fu ncfrcnm, s-n mulumfsc pfntru tut cf fcfn fn. Nu n fust uur, dnr cu tnmpul n mfrs mnn nnnf, n n !rfmf nm n!nt chnnr, s supurt durfrnlf, fr s m plng, fr s fnc rfpruurn, ntuncn cnd fn m npucn fr nlndff. "ut tnmpul l n!fnm pf tntn n fnn uchnnlur mfn n tnnm, c fu trfnunn s rfufsc. Fu frnm ffrm dfcns, s ndnug pnrtfn mfn, s dfclnnfz mncn mfn ln!nn, dnr frnm tut tnmpul dnn nuu dfznmgnt, c fn nu sf furmn sprf n df!fnn u ln!nn mnrf cn s sf rstugulfnsc n !nlf n s nnmncfnsc tutul cf-n sttfn n cnlf. *nn cuntr, nu sf ntmpln nnmnc, nnsulut nnmnc!

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Nncn frnnn mfn nu mn fcfnu !nnn mnn uunr. Fn nu sf ngrn fnu df mnnf, n ntuncn cnd trfnunnu s-u fc, u fcfnu cuntrn !unnfn lur. n ncfst lucru m fcfnu s-l snmt. Fstf nfmrgnnnt df umnlntur, s nu tf pun mncn nprunpf dfluc n s fn n nnt ucurnt pfntru ncfnstn. &fntru urfchnnlf sntunsf nr sunn cn u glum, ntuncn cnd fn m lsnu n crucnurul mfu df cupnn ln mnrgnnfn tfrfnulun df futnnl, n utnu cu mnngfn pf lng mnnf n strngnu- "u ftn purtnrul, nn grn cn nu cum!n s rntfzn! Fu ns nu nm snmnt nncnudnt ncfst lucru cn fnnnd durfrus. )hnnr dnc rfufnm ncum, s nu mnn fnu suprnt pf fn, n ndncul suflftulun durfn tutun dfstul df tnrf. Multf nstffl df ncnnf n trfnunt s ndur. Ntuncn cnd frnnn mfn mprfun cu cnmnrnznn lur df unc nu unsfr!nt c mn frn scrn df nruntf, sf dnstrnu df mnnunf, s lf prnnd n s mn lf nruncf n punl. Nm fust lsnt n crucnur pfntru n n!fn dfstul !ntfz pf dfnl n us, c nprunpf mn nturcfn stumncul pf dus snu m punfnu ntr-un cul, ntuncn cnd nu putfnm fn fulusnt. 'rn frnm nfr pfntru fn, frn !unf, fr cn fn s fnf pfdfpsnn, s nu m nngf n sfnm - s urlu snu s fug dup fn nu putfnm - , snu fu frnm prn!nt cn u ucrnf. Nmnflf lucrurn sunt dfstul df umnlntunrf. Fr Mnchnfl, fr cununtfrfn, cnrf fl mn-u drunn, m-n fn upus cu sngurnn n suprnrfn, furnn n trnstffn m-nr fn rupt n nntfrnur. *nr mnn ru m lu!fn cumptnmnrfn unmfnnlur mnn ntrnn. +nn *umnfzfulf, ct df srnc fstf! F,nst, unrf, ntr-ndf!r, s fnf nn df mnc n nn df dffurmnt( Fstf fn, unrf, hnndncnpnt mnntnl( %nu puntf s gndfnsc punn( Frn grfu df supurtnt, s fnu ucrnn frnnnlur mfn. $n fn mnn nsfmnnm cfl punn cf!n. N!fm u !nlunrf unrfcnrf. *nr nn( %ngur, ncftn unmfnn nu u spunfnu dnn rutntf. *nr fn mn lnpfnu prnn ncfnst tnmpnl n nncumpftfnfn nnsulutf. Ncfnst mnl dnstrugfn tuntf !nlurnlf, tf punfn pf cfn mnn uns scnr n f,nstfnfn umfnftn, nfngnt n sfnm, nfnunnt, nu ftn lunt n sfrnus, dunr tulfrnt. n ct df dfs fstf fnls ncfnst mnl, dunr u mnsc n spnnmfn, c n puntf lu!n chnnr pf fn, c fn !ur trfnun ln rndul lur s sf dfscurcf cu un cupnl hnndncnpnt, cu tunt muncn ncffn, cu tuntf suffrnnflf n mnn nlfs- cf !ur spunf cfnlnln( )t df dfs sf nudf dnn ncfn mnl uurnrfn, c nu fust scutnn df ncfnstn! n trnstffn, cnrf u f,prnm, fstf dfsfurn ngruzntunrf- ncfst lucru mn s-nr fn putut ntmpln n mnf! *nc nu prfn nn cf fncf cu !ucfn, cu urfchnnlf n cu mnnnlf, rmnf dunr pusnnnlntntfn, s culfzn snmurnlf. )fn mnn muln unmfnn, n spus udnt Mnchnfl, nu tnu nncn mcnr c f,nst ncfst snm, ncfl snm pfntru !nnrnnnlf unmfnnlur dnn urul nustru. "untf gndurnlf n sfntnmfntflf sunt !nnrnnn. Ntuncn cnd un gnd fstf gndnt, nf prsftf fl n furmn unfn mncn cnntntn df fnfrgnf, cnrf sf mprtnf cn lumnnn n tuntf prnlf. )urpul nu pusfd un urgnn pfntru n putfn rfcfpnunn ncfstf !nnrnnn. *nr spnrntul nustru puntf! )nnf ncfnrc, s mprfunfzf spnrntul mprfun cu curpul, !n rfcfpnunn nmfdnnt ncfstf !nnrnnn n lf !n nflfgf curfct. )upnnn mncn pusfd n cflf mnn multf cnzurn ncfst snm. %nu cum sf puntf f,plncn nltffl, c unnn cupnn ln nnumnn nduln, pf cnrf nu n-nu !zut nncnudnt, ncfp dfudnt s urlf n chnnr n cu mult rndnrf nu n mnn pun lnnntn, n tnmp cf cu nlnn, tut ntt df strnnn, sunt ntr-ndf!r ncrfzturn( *n, muln cupnn nc mnn pusfd ncfst snm. *nr n luc s fnf ntfnn ndulnn ln ncfstn, df!nn mn urntntfn ndulnlur suprnn- "u cupnl prust, cf s-n ntmplnt cu tnnf! )upnlul unsfnr! n scurt tnmp, c ncfnst rfncnf nu fstf durnt n cu tnmpul u unt. %nngurul lucru, cf rmnf n urm ln mnrfn mn urntntf, fstf sfntnmfnul snmpntnfn snu nntnpntnfn, cu tuntf c snmpntnn nu fstf nnmnc nltcf!n, dfct c !nnrnnnlf cflunlnlt sunt pf ncffnn und df !nlurn, n tnmp cf nntnpntnn nsfnmn dnffrfnn n ncflfn frfc!fnf df !nnrnnn. &rnn ncfn snngurtntf, n cnrf fu nm crfscut, nm putut s dfz!ult ncfst snm dnn cf n cf mnn mult. Nnmfnn nu n ncfrcnt s mn spun cf!n n ncfnst prn!nn, dfunrfcf nnmfnn nu tnn. n df ln Mnchnfl nm prnmnt n uturul cu!fnnt. &f mnnf df mult !rfmf nu m mnn puntf mnnn nnmfnn. %f puntf snmn nmfdnnt, dnc cu!nntflf ncupfr !nnrnnnlf gndurnlur snu nu. n ct df dfs nu curfspund! )t df dfs sf nscundf n spntflf cu!nntflur rustntf rfpfdf .srncul um/ dunr spfrnnn, s nu n ung chnnr fn n ncfnst sntunnf! n ct df dfs sf spunf dunr nn fr nncn mcnr punn df cumpnsnunf! )t df dfs fstf scuzn- Fu nu nm putut, pfntru c n sfnsul ndf!rntFu nu nm !rut. n ct df dfs ln nfnrmnnn- )upnlul n punrt cu stuncnsm durfrfn, nm fust mpnns sprf cfn mnn uns trfnpt lumfnsc, ndnc, u !nn df nftrnt, cnrf fstf dunr tulfrnt! )f nrf df-n fncf cu curpul, sunt n fu df ncurd. *unr - fstf curpul !nnn mfn( %unt fu curpul mfu( %pnrntul mfu nu sf lsn nflnt df dnscursurnlf crfdnncnunsf nlf cflurlnln. Fl frn n stnrf s fnc dnffrfnn ntrf mnsc n chnp. Fu nu trfnunn s crfd cffn, cf mn sf spunfn, fu putfnm s !frnfnc dnc fstf ndf!rnt. Nu fstf ncfst lucru mnn nmpurtnnt( )f fstf !nnn( )unst dunr dnn n ucn futnnl n df n fncf cuprturn( Fu mn-nm rspuns df n df mult !rfmf ln ncfnst ntrfnnrf. %nngurnn, dnn !nnn mfn, cnrf m-nu nccfptnt nn cum sunt, ncfnstn n fust surn Nfnfdnctn dnn clnnnc, frn tntl mfu, n nnnfnflfs Mnchnfl. &fntru surn Nfnfdnctn nm fust un cupnl cn urncnrf nltul. Fu frnm nulnn! n frn df nflfs, c fn m n utn. Fu frnm un .nulnn! nurmnl/, nncn mnn mult nncn mnn punn. &fntru tntn frnm fnncn pf cnrf fl u nunfn. )u sngurnn c nu mn nunfn curpul, fl frn dfsfurn trnst dnn cnuzn lun. Fl nunfn umul, cnrf frn n ncfl trup, ncfl um, cnrf *umnfzfu l-n crfnt cn n pf fl n prnn ncfnstn n!fn tut ncffnn !nlunrf cn n fl. &fntru Mnchnfl frnm un prnftfn. 'n prnftfn, pf cnrf trfnunn s-l ghndfzf, pf cnrf trfnunn s-l nntruduc n sfcrftflf !nfnn, pur n snmplu surn sn mnn tnr, pf cnrf u nccfptn cu tuntf grfflnlf n slnncnunnlf, n fl ncfrcn dnn rsputfrn s m rndncf, cu ghndnrfn sn, lng fl, pf trfnpt. *ur, dnr tutun nunntur. Fu frnm .nurmnl/ cn urncnrf nltul. Nnmnc mnn mult snu mnn punn. n fu !runnm dunr s fnu- .nurmnl/, un um, nnmnc mnn mult snu mnn punn. Ntuncn cnd l-nm rugnt pf Mnchnfl s-mn dfn u mn df n utur, n pus fl dunr u snngur ntrfnnrf- )um !rfn s n!fn, cn s fnn umnl, fr s nu fn fust nncnudnt umnlnt( )rfzn tu, c un rfgf nr putfn n!n !rfudnt cn s

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fnf umnl - snu un n!nngtur(@Nu, cu sngurnn, nu. Fnn mulumnt cu cfn, cnrf tf umnlfsc, ccn fn n dnu ncfnst nns. Nncnundf nu fstf scrns- Mndrul n n!nngturul !ur mutfnn mprnn cfrurnlur. *unr n umnlnn sf puntf *umnfzfu nfln. 'mnlnnn fstf nsunturul pfrmnnfnt nl drngustfn, n !n dfschndf punrtn sprf cfr, n !n crun drumul sprf *umnfzfu. 'mnlnnn nu fstf fflul frncus df gndnrf n unur spnrntf srncf, nn cum crfd unnn. 'mnlnnn nu nsfnmn, s nccfpn tutul, pfntru c nu tf pun mputrn!n. 'mnlnnn nu fstf nnmnc pnsn!. % tf prfdnn, ncfnstn fstf rfsfmnnrf, nu fstf umnlnn. Ndf!rntn umnlnn, cfrf u !unn nctn!, cfrf curn , curn ul, s n dnn nf mnn punn nmpurtnn dfct nltunn. Nu fstf umnlnn ntuncn, cnd ncfrcn s tf n usftn n f,tfrnur n s gndftn n nntfrnur- *f fnpt sunt n nn mnn nnlt dfct ncfstn, cf um supfrn sunt, c nm rfunt, s m n usfsc ncfstun prustu!nn# pfntru ncfst gfst !n n!fn *umnfzfu cu sngurnn nucurnn %n mnrf! 'mnlnnn ndf!rnt nu punrt nncn u mnsc, fn nu fstf nncn un uc. Nu fstf umnl, s tf nruncn n fnn lun *umnfzfu n nnsnp, dunr pfntru c n-f frnc n sfcrft, c Fl nr putfn s tf nruncf n .nnd/. Ndf!rntn umnlnn fstf cfn sun cunducfrfn drngustfn pfntru *umnfzfu, n nu dnn cnuzn frncnn. n n mn lucul sfmfnnlur nu fstf ndf!rntn umnlnn, cn nu cum!n s fncn !rfu grffnl, cn dnn cun!nngfrfn, c fnfcnrf dnntrf nun fstf u fnnn n lun *umnfzfu, n nu nf fstf pfrmns crntncn. *unr *umnfzfu puntf s fn,fzf !nlunrfn fnfcrunn, n Fl nr putfn dfsfurn s dfpfnsc unntnlf nunstrf. "u nn tuntf mutn!flf, cn s fn mulumnt df mprf urrnlf tnlf. "f-nu n!nt funrtf multf lucrurn. "u nn fust ns n un flf! snlntur n unflf lucrurn lf-nn nncurnt nn df tnrf n tnnf, c nu tf mnn cust nncn un ffurt. Fu !rfnu ncum s-n dnu u mnc lfcnf, cnrf tf !n cunducf ntrfngn tn !nn n tf !n nducf ln stngnul suprfm. Fstf cfl mnn grfu lucru, fstf curunnn umnlnnfn, fstf sntunnn spnrntunl, cnrf n scurt tnmp nr schnmnn pmntul ntr-un pnrndns ndf!rnt)frfn nfrtnrf, c tu ftn mutn!ul suprrnn snu fnfr!rnn lur, chnnr dnc prn!nnd dnn punctul umfnfsc nn tutun drfptntf. Ntuncn cnd unul tf nntf, ntuncn cfrfn nfrtnrf, c tu nn fust mutn!ul, pfntru cnrf fl s-n suprnt. Ntuncn cnd cnnf!n tf nnt ucurftf dnn cnuzn nspfctulun tu, ntuncn cfrfn nfrtnrf pfntru nfnnrfn tn. n dnc unul fstf dfrnn nt df prfzfnn tn, ntuncn cfrfn nfrtnrf pfntru curpul tu. "u crfzn c fu nm nfnunnt( Nu! Fu !urnfsc funrtf sfrnus. 0ncfnrc s nflfgn tu ncfnstn nn. Nn cn f,fmplu un flf!. 0n!turul su l cfnrt funrtf sf!fr, dnn cnuzn nutflur snlf prunstf. Flf!ul spunf tut fflul df scuzf pfntru nfrtnrfn sn, nnr n!turul df!nnf n mnn suprnt. )f crfzn tu c s-nr fn ntmplnt, dnc flf!ul nr fn rspuns*n, fu tnu, mn pnrf ru, c m-nm cumpurtnt ntt df prust. 0n!turul nr fn df!fnnt nmfdnnt mnn prnftfnus n l-nr fn cunsulnt. Ncfst lucru fstf !nlnnnl n urncnrf sntunnf. Gndftf-tf ln un pulnnst, cnrf fstf mustrnt df supfrnurul su, pfntru c ncfstunn n-n scpnt un nnfrnctur. %cuzf gfnfrnlf cn- n fust prfn ntunfrnc, mnnnn nu n purnnt rfpfdf, culfgul mfu m-n mpnfdncnt, nu df unncfn fffctul cuntrnrnu. )um nr rfncnunn unrf un ff ln rspunsul snncfr- Nmn pnrf ru, mn-n fust pur n snmplu frnc, n df ncffn nm dnt grf! %nu ntuncn cnd sf fnfr!fnz fful, c sfcrftnrn lun n nducf nctflf n ultnmn zn df rgnz, pf cnrf fl n dfcns-u( Nnnfnflfs, fn puntf spunf- )f !rfn, fu nm n!ut tnmp pn nstzn. )u ncfnst nfnrmnnf nr n!fn drfptntf. *nr fn puntf fn umnl n s spun- 0mn pnrf ru, fu nm lucrnt funrtf ncft, fstf !nnn mfn, ! rug frumus s m nfrtnn. )nnf !n putfn rmnf nncn dur( Fn n-n dnt lun cu ncfnstn pusnnnlntntfn, s fnf nnnmus, s spun- &n dn, nu fstf tutun chnnr nn df ru. *umnfn!unstr nu trfnunf ntr-ndf!r s ! fncfn rfpruurn. Mnnn s-n spulnfrnt, n lucul fn pftf sfntnmfntul, c nn nlnntnt pf cnnf!n, c nn n utnt pf cnnf!n. 'mnlnnn snu smfrfnnn fstf nrudnt cu drngustfn. Fn nu-l rnftf pf cfllnlt nncnudnt, fn nu susnnf nncnudnt ffrm drfptul fn, fn prfnn !nnn ln snnf n n crfnz prnn ncfnstn cflunlnlt pusnnnlntntfn, s-n rftrng mnnn lun, rfpruurnlf lun n s lf nlucunnsc cu sfntnmfntf puzntn!f nlf nflfgfrnn, nfrtrnn, nn chnnr nlf nunnrnn. *funrfcf, ncum, stnrfn df spnrnt gfnfrnl df pf plnnftn pmnt dfpnndf df frfc!fnn strnn df spnrnt gfnfrnlf n sfntnmfntflur n n gndurnlur, pun n tu cu ncfnstn s unnn u mnuntnrf n sntunnfn gfnfrnlf, tu nn mnuntnt fffctn! lumfn. Mnn mult nu pun tu fncf. n ncfnstn df nncn fstf dfstul df grfu. Fu crfd c tf-nm nflfs ncum. *nr dfunrfcf tnnm fu, c mn-nr fn nfsfrnt df grfu, s m umnlfsc nstffl, nm ncfrcnt fu s nrunc ultnmul mfu ntu n uc*nr fu sunt tutun mut! "cut mn-n zmnnt fl, pf umtntf mnlus, pf umtntf cu rfpruurn. 0nc nu tnn tu, c, cumunncnrfn nu funcnunfnz numnn prnn !ucf( "u pun s f,prnmn ntr-un mud spnrntunl mult mnn rfpfdf, mult mnn prfcns, cffn cf fstf prfrfn tn. "u trfnunn tutun numnn s gndftn. *nc tu l rugn snncfr n duh pf frntflf tu s tf nfrtf, fstf ncfnstn ncflnn lucru, cn n cum tu l-nn fn rugnt ntr-ndf!r pfntru ncfst lucru. *uhul lun fstf ntutdfnunn n stnrf, s prfnn uscnlnnn tn n s nccfptf scuzn tn. Fr s-n fnf cuntnfnt ncfst prucfdfu, sf schnmn nstffl ncft sfntnmfntflf snlf. n dup un tnmp fstf s!rnt cfrfrfn df nfrtnrf, fr sn fnf lun cunuscut ncfst mfcnnnsm. Ncfnstn funcnunfnz ntutdfnunn! Numnn ctfudnt nu nfnprnt n ncfl tnmp, pf cnrf nn l-nm prupus pfntru ncfst lucru. )u sngurnn ns n ncfl rstnmp, cnrf fstf putrn!nt pfntru ncfnstn. Fstf ns u dnffrfn ntrf duh n cu!nt- duhul trfnunf s fnf cnnstnt! %unt tutun gndurnlf, cnrf sf trnnsmnt# df ncffn nncn nu fstf pusnnnl s gndftn, c ncum fnc pur n snmplu nn df pnrc. Ncfst lucru nu funcnunfnz nncnudnt! *f cu!nntf dnmputrn! sf lns ln ncfput nc muln nmgnn# dnr pf durnt lung nu mfrgf nncn ncfst lucru. Nnrn fusfsfrm mult tnmp mprfun. Fu putfnm s-l nscult pf Mnchnfl urf n nr. $n fl nu m plnctnsfnm nncnudnt. Fu nu tnu, cf nm sn!urnt mnn mult, prfzfnn lun snu mprf urnmfn, pfnsn ul, n cnrf nf nflnm nun df

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fnfcnrf dnt. )nd fl df!fnfn tcut, m lun df mn n nun cutrfnfrnm ncft punfnflf nnnf-mnrusntunrf, m cuprnndfn cu tnmpul tutdfnunn frncn, c trfnunn ncun nnrn s m trfzfsc, s scnp df !ns. 'h dnc n putfn fu tutun s rmn numnn nncn pfntru tutdfnunn! Ncfst lucru nu frn pusnnnl. Fu tnnm nnnf nstn. 3 Fu n-nm fust surprnns, cnd l-nm !zut dfudnt pf tntn. Fl frn nnrn nncn, cflf nsf sptmnn trfcusfr. Ncfstfn nu fust sptmnn lungn. 0n nrnflf snlf nm fust fu nnrn cnnf!n, nu trfnunn s m runnfz. 0n nrnflf snlf s-n trnnsfurmnt rucn urt. Fu trfnunn s m gndfsc ln prnmn mfn pnfs df tfntru, pf cnrf nm putut s-u !d. Fu nm n!ut prn!nlfgnul, s fd n prnmul rnd nprunpf snngur. &fntru c cnnf !runn tutun s sf nfzf lng u hnndncnpnt! "ntn frn tutdfnunn funrtf trnst dnn prncnnn ncfstun lucru. &f fl l durfnu dfznprunrnlf n lu!nturnlf n cunst cuntnnuf, prudfntn mfrgfrf-ln-dnstnn, frncunsn rftrngfrf-nnpun mult mnn tnrf dfct pf mnnf. Fl suffrfn ntr-ndf!r pfntru mnnf. Fl frn n stnrf, s snmt pfntru mnnf n cu mnnf. Fl m nunfn. &u!fstfn cnrf s-n pus n scfn, sf numfn- 2ucn urt. Frn !urnn dfsprf u ruc, cnrf frn cu tutul nltffl fn df cflflnltf n frn tut tnmpul nt ucurnt dnn cnuzn nfnrnn snlf, tucmnn rucn urt. &n cf fn n prsnt ntr-u zn curtfn df rutf dnn cnuzn n nttn mhnnrf n n nlfs un lnc mnrf sprf n-n fn nuun pntrnf, undf fn spfrn, s punt trn nfrfcunuscut n pncf. *nr n lncul ncfln frnu n lfndf, n dfudnt n !zut fn n nmngnnfn sn uglnndnt n np u lfnd mnnunnt df frumuns. 'ltnmn prupuznnf, pf cnrf n rustnt-u pu!fstnturul, sunnNu dunfnz dfluc, s fnn nscut ntr-u curtf df rnf, dnc nn fust numnn ntr-un uu df lfndn. Fu nm rffurmulnt ntuncn prupuznnnNu dunfnz df luc, s fnn nscut hnndncnpnt, dnc..., dn, dnc duhul unnnf prnn ncfnstn pusnnnlntntfn, df n fncf f,pfrnfnf, pf cnrf fl nltffl nu lf-nr fn putut fncf nncnudnt. 0n nunptfn urmtunrf n!usfsfm fu un !ns. Fu ucnm tfntru. Frn u pnfs cu un snngur nctur. Fu trfnunn s uc tuntf rulurnlf snngur, clu!nul, rfgflf, nfgusturul, nnrtnul, nfntul, !ftfrnnnn df rznun cu numnn un sngur pncnur n sulnstul df upfr. Fnfcnrf scfn prnmfn nplnuzf putfrnncf. $n sfrnt m-nm nrtnt fu nc u dnt n tuntf cflf nptf mtn. Nplnuzflf s-nu trnnsfurmnt ntr-un urcnn. Ntuncn nm !fnnt fu ultnmn dnt fr mnsc, numnn cn um, nu mnn cn nctur. Ntuncn s-nu rndncnt unmfnnn n nu plfcnt. Fu plngfnm. *nrfcturul m-n nlnntnt- Ncfnstn fstf tutdfunn nn. Nu pun schnmnn nnmnc ln ncfst lucru. 'mul nu-n nntfrfsfnz, fn !ur numnn mnscn. Ncum, tntn frn nnrn nncn, pf fl nu-l nntfrfsn nncn u mnsc, fl m nunfn. n ncfst lucru frn nfsfrnt df frumus. "ntn rfunsf s prnmfnsc un nuu luc df munc. Fl putfn lucrn cu umtntf df nurm n urn, cn mturtur df strnd n sntul !fcnn mnn mnrf. 0n nfnr df ncfnstn, n ncfput fl, s sf ucupf nnrn df guspudrnf. *nn punct df !fdfrf fnnnncnnr nsfmnn ncfnstn ntr-ndf!r u pnfrdfrf nmfns, dnr tntn frn ffrncnt. Fl sf nucurn pfntru muncn nfnr n nfr lnnfr, n nntur, cnrf n cfrfn nnrn n ustfnfln curpurnlf, n cuntrnrnu cu nctn!ntntfn lun df pn ncum n hnlflf df muntn glgnunsf n prust nfrnsntf. Fl nncn nu ddfn nmpurtnn prfstngnulun sucnnl, fl nunfn mult mnn mult lnnntfn muncnn, cnrf n ngdunn tnmp pfntru gndurnlf snlf, pfntru lfgturn cu *umnfzfu. Mnmn s-n upus funrtf tnrf ln ncfput nmputrn!n cunurrnn sucnnlf, n mputrn!n pnfrdfrnn fnnnncnnrf, cffn cf nsfmnn tutun rfstrngfrn sfmnnfncntn!f. "ntn n-n rfncnunnt nncnudnt dur ln nfnrnlf fn df furnf. Fl lf-n supurtnt umnl cu lnnntf stunc, n-n f,plncnt fn ntutdfnunn punctul su df !fdfrf, lnnntnt, ln unnfct n f,nct - dnr plnn df drngustf. n fu crfd c cu tnmpul n n nccfptnt fn ncfst fnpt. Fn l n utn pf tntn chnnr n n guspudrnf, ncft df!fnnsf fn u rnnc ndf!rnt. n cu tuntf c ctfudnt frn mult df lucru, n-n fcut fn nstn tutun nnnf, s lucrfzf nfnr. Ncum nm fust nun nnrn u fnmnlnf ndf!rnt. Fflul lnnntnt nl tntlun, nurn lun, sf nfln cn un cluput prutfctur pfstf nun tun, nf ddfn lnnntf. Ncfnstn nsfmnn mnrflf mumfnt df cutntur dnn !nnn nunstr. &fntru mnnf ncfpfn un tnmp mnnunnt. Fnfcnrf zn n lun tntn unn pn ln duu urf pfntru mnnf. Fl mn-n n prfdnt lnmnn surdu-munlur n fcfn f,frcnnn gnmnnstncf cu mnnf. Nu frn uur. Nn!turn m sulncntn funrtf tnrf, gnmnnstncn frn nfplcut, ndfsfn durfruns. *nr fu sn!urnm drngustfn, cnrf sf rf!rsn nspurn mfn df ln tntl mfu. Mnmn fcusf tutun df n n nnnntf ncfstf f,frcnnn dnn cnd n cnd cu mnnf, dnr scurgfrfn ncfsturn curnt mfcnnnc, nndnffrfnn dnn pnrtfn fn fcfnu s df!nn ncfstfn un chnn pfntru mnnf. Mult tnmp rspunsfsfm fu df ncffn puznnn fn rfspnngtunrf tut cu rfspnngfrf. *f cnd nm putut fu ntuncn s nn sfntnmfntflf mflf mnn nnnf sun cuntrul cu n uturul lun Mnchnfl, m dfrnn nu ncfstfn df n cu mult mnn punn. Frn ncfnstn u rfcununtfrf funrtf nmpurtnnt pfntru mnnf, cum unn n ncffnn dfsfurnrf, ncffnn durfrf putfn fn snmnt pf dfplnn nltffl. Fusfsf un sfmn lmurnt, c, cnlfn nlfns frn curfct, c putfnm n trfnunnm s nm pf dfplnn ncrfdfrf n Mnchnfl, dnc !runnm s n ung mnn dfpnrtf. n s n ung mnn dfpnrtf, !runnm fu! Fu !runnm s fulusfsc nnsn, pf cnrf mn-u uffrfn ncfnst !nn, !runnm s ndun nttfn f,pfrnfnf prfcum frn numnn cum!n pusnnnl. *nc fu n prfnm n f,tfrnur fr pnrtncnpnrf n dfnnl, duhul mfu frn cu ntt mnn !nun, n !unnn mfn frn funrtf putfrnnc. Fu dunr tnnm df ln Mnchnfl, ct df grfu frn, s prnmftn un trup tnn tu, spusf fl, mnlnnrdf df suflftf ntfnpt, s sf punt ncrnn. Flf tnu, c put s n ung n dfz!ultnrfn lur numnn ntuncn mnn dfpnrtf, dnc flf sf ncnrnfnz pf pmnt. $n ncfnstn fstf ns nf!unf df dun unmfnn, cnrf sunt dnspun, s pun ln dnspuznnf un .luc df prfgtnrf/, pfntru n-n fncf pusnnnl unun cupnl ncfnst !nn. Mfntnlntntfn nctunl fstf pfntru tuntf ncfstf suflftf u lu!ntur n fn. )fn mnn muln unmfnn sunt ntr-ndf!r nucurun, s nnn !unf s trnnsc nncn, s fn fust nscun, dnr cfn mnn punnn sunt dnspun, s dfn ncfnst !nn mnn dfpnrtf, pfntru c fn trfnunf ln ncfnstn s rfnunf ln u nucnt n lnnfrtnn lur prfsupusf. Ncftn unmfnn sf crfd lnnfrn, sunt df prfrf c nu sunt lfgnn n sunt dfpfndfnn df

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pnluln znlnnc cn un nlculnc df !frmut. Fn n nchnpunf, c sunt lnnfrn, prnn fnptul c !nzntfnz ct sf puntf df multf rn strnnf n nu n dnu sfnmn, c sf nfl sun unlngntn!ntntfn, df n clturn n dfprtrn, pfntru c snmt n nntfrnurul lur numnn !nd. Ncftn unmfnn sunt ntuncn cnrnctfrnznn cn fnnnd cu f,pfrnfn df !nn, prn!nn cu rfspfct prufund n cu nn!ndnf n dnn dnn mn-n mn cn sfnnn. )um nr fn dnc s-nr putfn fncf f,pfrnfnf f,tfrnunrf! Ndf!rntf f,pfrnfnf sf put fncf numnn n nntfrnur. $n ncfst lucru nu fstf nf!unf df culturn strnnf n rn ndfprtntf, fstf nf!unf dunr df unmfnn, cnrf nf ncun unr, pruffsnn, pf cnrf nm n!nt-u n mprf urrnlf df !nn, crurn lf suntfm sunurdunnn. Muln cunsndfr cn fnnnd ncfnstn u lnnfrtntf, s pun nfn fnfcnrf sfnr n urn, fr n fn nf!unt s nn sfnmn df cnnf!n. $n ncfnstn fn nu rfnlnzfnz, c sf nfl sun ncfn unlngntn!ntntf, s fnf nf!unn s nccfptf fnfcnrf nn!ntnnf, pfntru n fn .nn/ n nnumntf cfrcurn df cunutnnf, chnnr dnc ntmusffrn fstf ct sf puntf df rngnd n dnscunn ct sf puntf df nnnnl. Fn trfnunf fnfcnrf sfnr s nns n urn, pfntru c nu put s ncfnp nnmnc cu fn nnn, fnnndc lf fstf frnc fn df fn nnn, pfntru c lf fstf frnc, c, cnd n prpnstnn, cnrf sf dfschndf n nntfrnurul lur. Fn sucutfsc cn fnnnd lnnfrtntf, s dfnn dfstun nnnn n s-n punt chfltun dup nunul plnc, nu rfnlnzfnz ns, c fn sf nfl sun prfsnunfn df unlngnnf, s cunduc tutdfnunn mnnnn cfn mnn nuu n cfn mnn rnpnd, pfntru n nnsufln cu ncfnstn rfspfct cflurlnln. Fn nu sunt n stnrf, s-l !nd pf um, s fnc cu fl cuntnct, s ndmnt sfntnmfntflf lun. Fn !d numnn ncturul, mnrnunftflf ncflfn ncun urntf cu hnnnf, mnnnn, lucnn n prfstngnu sucnnl. Muln mfrg nstzn df n nn df dfpnrtf, s trnnsc pf dfplnn snngurn, s sf flnmnnf cuntnfnt n nfnrn urdnnnn *umnfzfnftn, pfntru n putfn sntnsfncf nfstnnghfrnn durnnflf n pntnmnlf lur. Fn cunsndfr cn fnnnd lnnfrtntf, s punt ntrfnnf rflnnn sf,unlf cu urncnrf pnrtfnfr n nu n dnu sfnmn, c fn sunt numnn prnzunnfrn nn !ncnnlur lur, c fn nu mnn put s fnf stpnn pf snnf, pfntru c nnstnnctul lur sf,unl n-n nrunnt pf dfplnn. Fn cunsndfr ncfnstn cn fnnnd lnnfrtntf, s punt prnctncn spurturnlf cflf mnn f,trn!ngnntf n nu-n dnu sfnmn, c fn sf nfl sun unlngntn!ntntf, s sf cunfnrmf n fnn lur nnn n n fnn cflurlnln cu nptntudnnn curpurnlf, pfntru c cflf spnrntunlf nu s-nu mnturnznt nc snu s-nu pnfrdut df n. )ffn cf cuntfnz, fstf numnn curpul, f,tfrnurul, f,punfrfn. +nlurn ndf!rntf nu sunt cfrutf, dunr nu sf put !fdfn, n ftn tutun numnn .cnnf!n/, dnc cfnlnln sf unt gur cnsc. *funrfcf cfn mnn punnn supurt ntr-ndf!r s fnf snngurn, trfnunf ntuncn urgnnnzntf ntrunnrn mnn mnrn, ln cnrf fstf mult mnn snmplu, s tf nscunzn n spntflf mtnn tnlf snu n spntflf cflurlnln. ' rflnnf fstf nccfptnt numnn pn ln punnt uf nu rfturn , dfcn pn ln ncfl punct, undf rnnunfn mnn puntf nc cuntruln sfntnmfntflf, rnnunfn, cnrf lucrfnz nn df mnzfrnnnl, c df fnpt nr trfnun s fnf f,nct nn!frs- snmul nr trfnun s stpnfnsc rnnunfn. n tuntf ncfstfn numnn dnn ncfn cnuz, pfntru c ncfstur unmfnn lf fstf tfnm, s sf dfschnd nltcun!n pf dfplnn, s-l prfnn pf ncfstn pf dfplnn n snmul lur. Frnc, df n fn nf!unt s dnn mnscn us n s stnn nncn gul. Frnc c cfllnlt nr putfn s-n rnfnsc, dup cf fn n-nu dnt us nrmurn lur, plntun cflur f,tfrnunrf. 'n nstffl df fgunsm n dunfnz suflftulun cu mult mnn mult, dfct cfn mnn muln put numnn s-n n nmngnnfzf. *nc n-nr fn nnstnnctul sf,unl nfnfrnnt, n dnc nu n-nr ncurcn sfmnnfncntn! mfrfu nnrn untnrfn n nfsngurnnn cflur mnn multf mn luncf prf!fntn!f, ntuncn n-nr mnn fn ncun nnsulut df luc pusnnnl, s fnn nscut pf ncfnst plnnft. )u tuntf c nr fn pusnnnl cu punn !unn nun n fr prunlfmf mn urf, s ndpustftn n s hrnftn pf pmnt df zfcf urnA!B mnsn df unmfnn nctunl, sf fncf nstzn tut pusnnnlul, s sf dfcnmfzf umfnnrfn, n unflf rn chnnr dnn cnuzn lfgnn, sun nmfnnnnrfn cu pfdfnps n cnz df nclcnrf. n dnc mn luncflf df prfcnunf sf,unl sunt df n pf dfplnn nfsngurf, n nnumf fr f,cfpnf, dfunrfcf flf trntfsc pruprnlur frnn n sururn un n fnn nnsulun, nstffl fstf n!urtul cfn mnn mnrf crnm mputrn!n umulun, cnrf n f,nstnt !rfudnt n cnrf !n f,nstn !rfudnt. *f n ln zmnslnrf, ndnt dup mprfunnrfn cflulfn df smn cu cfluln uu, fstf mncul trup - dfsprf ncfstn fstf nnumf df n !urnn - lucunt df un suflft. Nu fstf n tut unn!frsul nfmrgnnnt un snngur ntum, cnrf nu fstf nsuflfnt. Fnfcnrf nnnmnl, fnfcnrf plnnt, nn chnnr fnfcnrf pnntr fstf nsuflfnt, n nncn s pnrcurg ntuncn tucmnn fnnnn cfn mnn dfz!ultnt u stnrf fr suflft( "u nsun nn nflnt, ntuncn cnd nn luptnt cu mnmn tn pfntru !nnn tn n tf-n snl!nt nsfrnt numnn dfzncurdul nnsulut nl tntlun tu. Nmprf urrnlf df !nn pf cnrf lf-nn gsnt tu nncn, n sf putrn!fsc nf nn df prfcns, sf putrn!fsc cu dfz!ultnrfn tn spnrntunl, c nr fn durnt ntr-ndf!r mult tnmp, s sf gsfnsc nnrn mprf urrn nsfmntunrf pfntru tnnf. Mnn mult df cnncnzfcn df mnlnunnf trfnunf nnunl s pnrcurg ncfnst f,pfrnfn nmnr, c spfrnnn lur, s nnn !unf s sf dfz!ultf mnn dfpnrtf, s n ung ln un pns mnn nprunpf df *umnfzfu, fstf dnstrus nrutnl n fr mnl prnn n!urt. n tuntf ncfstfn numnn dnn fgunsm! *umnfzfu n df!fnnt un cu!nt strnn n ncfnst mprf urnmf. 'ndf stpnftf rcfnln, nghfn cldurn, n cu fn sf stnngf drngustfn. )t df muln mnn trfnunf s fnc ncfnst f,pfrnfn nmnr, nnnntf cn ncfstf gruz!nn s ncftfzf( 3 "ntl mfu n-n dnt mult ustfnfnl cu mnnf. $n ncfput nm strpnt urncf ffl df ncfrcnrf. Fu nu !runnm s prsfsc nzulnnn mfn. Fu durfm s mfnnn lnnntfn mfn. *nr Mnchnfl m-n cun!nns, c ncfst lucru nu fstf drfpt. *nc cnnf!n n d ustfnfnl n !rfn s tf n utf, ntuncn nu ncfrcn s-l dfznmgftn. Nu l rfpfzn, cn d-n ucnznn cn s tf n utf, n prnmftf cu mulumnrn n uturul su. )u tuntf ncfstfn nu sf putfn unsfr!n nncn un succfs. )u tunt putfrfn !unnfn nu mn rfufn, s put s-mn cuntrulfz mnnnlf n pncnunrflf. &fntru c nu n!fnm cf s fnc cu mnnnlf, nu mn frn pusnnnl, s n! lnmnn surdu-munlur. *unr s dnu dnn cnp, ncfst lucru l putfnm fncf cu npru,nmnnf. Nnzndu-sf pf nlfnnftul mursf, mn-n crfnt tntl mfu pusnnnlntntfn, s spun n s f,prnm strnctul nfcfsnr. n ncum frnm tutun f,trfm df

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nucuruns, c nu nm rfnunnt. Nu sf putfn dnscutn prfn nnnf, dnr cfl punn ln lucrurnlf cflf mnn nmpurtnntf n!fnm n fu un cu!nt df .spus/. 3 .)unncndfnn/ n !rut, cn pf !rfmfn ncffn s sf nflf n nprupnfrf pfntru ctf!n znlf un nugnn nndnnn n ductur, un NCuDfdf, cnrf n!fn fnnmn lucrrnlur mnrnculunsf. Nun spfrnnf s-nu nprnns dnn nuu n tntl mfu, ntuncn cnd n mfrs cu mnnf n urn. $n !nnrnnnlf, pf cnrf lf fmnnn nugnnul, nm unsfr!nt fu, c trfnunn s fnf un nrnnt funrtf sfnt. Fl n ncfput nmfdnnt s !urnfnsc cu mnnf n spnrnt, nn cum nm cunuscut fu ncfnstn dunr df ln Mnchnfl. )u tuntf c fu nu fcfnm nnmnc, putfn s-mn sdfnsc gndurnlf snlf, n fu nm tnut, c fl lf puntf rfcfpnunn n pf nlf mflf. Fl prfn s tnf tutul, prfn s nflfng tutul. "ntn n unsfr!nt, c sf pftrfcfnu lucrurn nfunnnuntf n sttfn ct df lnnntnt putfn. Frn frumus. Fu n fn durnt s fn stnt df !urn cu ncfst um urf n nr, cnrf m nflfgfn n ntrfgnmf n m nccfptn nfcundnnunnt. 0n sfrnt s-n nturs sprf tntl mfu n n-n spusFu nu nm !unf s-l n ut pf cupnlul !ustru! *nc fu nn-n !nndfcn curpul, ntuncn nn-n umur spnrntul. F,nst lfgn n mprf urrn, df cnrf trfnunf s nnfm sucutfnl, pf cnrf nu putfm n nu n!fm !unf s lf rsturnm. +fn putfn nfln ncfnstn n cfl mnn scurt tnmp. Ntuncn nu nm tnut nc, cf !runn s spun cu ncfn nfnrmnnf. $n plfcnrf m-n cuprnns n nrnflf snlf n m-n nnnfcu!ntnt. 'n sfntnmfnt df cldur n df putfrf m-n nnundnt, nn cum fu nu l-nm mnn cunuscut pn ncum. 0n culunnn mfn !frtfnrnl prfn s curg un curfnt, cnrf n fcut s !nnfrzf ntrfgul mfu curp. N fust nn df putfrnnc, c mn-nm pnfrdut cunutnnnn. %unrflf lumnnn. *f nnnn cu tnmpul nm rfnlnznt, cn nsfmnn ncfnstn. %unrflf lumnnn! Frn nprunpf, putfnm s ntnnd mnn dup fl. Fu nprunpf c nm f,pludnt df nucurnf. 0n lnnntf nm ngfnunchnnt n nm ncfput s m rug. Fu m-nm snmnt nn df nprunpf df *umnfzfu, fu tnnm, c Nnsus 7rnstus nu frn dfpnrtf, fu tnnm, c frn Fl, pf cnrf putfnm s-$ !d n ncfn lumnn. )uplfnt m-nm ntnns pf nnrn n nm sn!urnt ncfst mnrncul. *nr ncft n ncfput s sf lnsf cfnn. Fnf dup fnf df cfn n ncfput s ncupfrf sunrflf, pn cnd nu s-n mnn putut !fdfn nnmnc. 0n cfnn dfns nm !zut dup mult tnmp cum sf nprupnn df mnnf u lumnn. Frn Mnchnfl. Fl nnfn n mn cu un fflnnnr n purtn u mnntnf nln cu u glug mnrf nln. )f s-n ntmplnt Mnchnfl, nm nuznt fu ncum cum nm ntrfnnt, cf mprf urrn suntf ncfstfn, df cf nu sf puntf !fdfn !rfu lumnn, df cf nncn un pfnsn ( 'ndf sunt psrnlf, undf sunt flurnlf mnnunntf( *f cf fstf nn df rfcf nncn( Nu-n fnf tfnm, fu !un fn mfrfu nlturn df tnnf. )hnnr dnc !ntul dur !n stnngf lumnnn n tu nu m mnn !fn putfn !fdfn, sunt fu tutun nlturn df tnnf. *f ncffn gndftf-tf, dunr cldurn puntf rupf ncfnst cfn. n ntr-nfd!r !ntul n stnns ncfn lumnn dnn fflnnnrul su, n nprunpf n ncflnn tnmp s-n nuznt un zgumut nnffrnnl. )f!n pncn pfstf mnnf, m ngrupn pur n snmplu. Fu nu mnn n!fnm nfr, fu !runnm s urlu! *up ncffn nu nm mnn tnut nnmnc. 3 )nd nm dfschns uchnn m nflnm n spntnl. &fstf mnnf ntrnnu ctf!n stnclf, pfstf mnn multf furtunf pncurn cf!n n curpul mfu. Fu snmfnm mnrn durfrn n pncnur, cnpul frn lfgnt, tutul m durfn, n fu frnm funrtf unusnt. Nu frnm n stnrf, s gndfsc nurmnl, fu nu tnnm cf sf ntmpln cu mnnf. Fr n n!fn !rfun rspuns, nm ndurmnt dnn nuu. Fr !nsurn, ndnc n ntunfcnt n fust nunptfn, pn cnd m-nm trfznt nnrn. *f cf m nflnm fu nncn( *f cf frnm n pnt( )f s-n ntmplnt cu pncnurul mfu, dnr cu cnpul mfu( n mnn nlfs, undf frn tntn( Fu nu mnn putfnm s-l snmt, fl trfnunn s fnf undf!n dfpnrtf. Nncft s-nu nturs frnturnlf df nmnntnrn nnpun. Nun nm fust ln ncfl ductur nndnnn, fl n-n lunt rmns nun, n-n strns tntlun mfu nc mnn n s-n untnt lung ln fl- Fn mfrgf drumul fn. Nu fstf uur, n !n df!fnn n mnn pnftrus, dnr fn l !n mfrgf. Nu ! fncfn grn n, urncf s-nr ntmpln. Ntuncn m-n nnnfcu!ntnt, n fu nm ndurmnt. "ntn n trfnunt s m duc ncns cu mnnnn. *unr, df cf frnm fu n spntnl, n df cf nu frn tntn nncn( *f cf nu frn df fnpt nnmfnn nncn( *up u !fnncnf nu !fnnt dun ducturn. &nrf s fnf trfnz, puntf c putfm df n s !urnnm cu fn. Fn m-nu ntrfnnt cum m chfnm, dnc tnnm cf s-n ntmplnt. Fu nm ncfrcnt s rspund cu cnpul, nn cum m-n n!nt tntn, dnr nu n funcnunnt. $n fnfcnrf mncnrf prfnu s sf prnufnsc munnn n prfnu s-mn sfnf cnpul. Fn cu sngurnn c nu m-nr fn nflfs prfn nnnf. Fn n-n pnfrdut prnn ncfl uc, tfmpurnr !ucfn, l-nm nuznt pf unul dnn fn s spun. )f uc( )f sf ntmpln nncn( *f cf nu mn spunf nnmfnn nnmnc( Nnnfnflfs c nu nu n!ut df undf s tnf, c fu frnm mut. n fu nu n!fnm nncn u pusnnnlntntf, s lf put cumunncn. Nu urmnt multf urf df nftnnn, plnnf df spnnm n dnspfrnrf. Mult tnmp nu crfzut ducturnn c mncnrfn trupulun n nf!urnnrfn frnu urmrnlf uculun, cu tuntf c sf mnrnu tut tnmpul, c tuntf cflflnltf !nlurn frnu n urdnnf. FFG n FEG, pulsul, prfsnunfn sngflun, tfmpfrnturn, tutul frn n urdnnf. %tnclflf nc frnu ngntf dfnsuprn mfn n pncurnu n curpul mfu. Nu mn frn funmf, dnr mn frn nfspus df sftf. )f nu n fn dnt dunr pfntru punn lnchnd. *nr fu nu m putfnm fncf unsfr!nt. Fu n!fnm durfrn n mn frn sftf, n frnm nfrncunt, u frnc df pnnnc. "rfnunn s sf fn ntmplnt cf!n ngruzntur, ncfst lucru l tnnm.

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*fudnt n stnt mnmn n fnn mfn. Fu nu nm !zut-u ntuncn cnd n !fnnt. 0n uchnn fn sf nflnu lncrnmn. Fn m-n lunt n nrnflf fn, n n ncfput s m mngnf. Ncfst lucru nu l-n fcut nncnudnt. n dfudnt nm tnut, nnnntf cn fn s-mn spun cf!n. "ntn fstf murt. &f nutustrnd n nntrnt ntr-un cnrnmnuln pf cfn dfns. "u nn fust nruncnt dnn mnnn pf un tufn, cnrf n-n snl!nt !nnn n n nmurtnznt lu!nturnlf tnlf, dup ctf n spus ducturul. *nr tntn n murnt. Mnnnn s-n nncfndnnt pf luc, fl nu s-n mnn putut snl!n. &fstf cnnzfcn df mnnnn nu fust nmplncntf, n nnmfnn nu n tnut df cnnf npnrnn. *f ncffn n durnt nn df mult, pn cnd fu tf-nm gsnt. &fntru mnnf s-n prnunt u lumf. )um frn pusnnnl, cum l-nu putut lun fn pf tntl mfu. Ncum, cnd n fust n sfrnt ncns, ncum, cnd n n!ut tnmp pfntru mnnf. *up cf s-n rnsnpnt nfsngurnnn, dup cf n df!fnnt ndf!r ngruzntur, n df!fnnt dfudnt tutul gul. Nu frnm n stnrf s gndfsc, fr n schnn !rfun gfst sttfnm fu. )um!n nu trfcut znlflf, mn frn tut unn. &fntru prnmn unr nm fust nucuruns, c nu putfnm !urnn, c m lsnu n pncf. %tnrfn mfn uscnln ntrf trnstff n furnf, ntrf ncuznnf n plngfrf df snnf, n n cuntnnu sf n!rtfnu n mnntfn mfn cu!nntflf- *f cf( *f cf fu, df cf nu nltcnnf!n( *f cf fu, cnrf n!fnm n nn multf df ndurnt, df cf nu nltcnnf!n, crunn n-n mfrs nnnf pn ncum( *f cf( Frn drfpt( Frn drngustf( *f cf nu m n utn Mnchnfl( *f cf nu frn nncn, cnd fu n!fnm nttn nf!unf df fl( *up ctf!n znlf fu nu nm mnn putut s plng. 'chnn mn s-nu umflnt n m nrdfnu. Fu pur n snmplu nu mnn putfnm nnnntn. Fu nu mnn !runnm. *nc n fn putut, n fn rfnunnt nmfdnnt. Fu !runnm s plfc, frn tut unn, dunr s plfc df nncn, dfpnrtf. % m rffugnfz df dfstnnul mfu, s fug df nfcnz. Fu !runnm s fug df mnnf nsumn, df prpnstnn, cnrf s-n dfschns dfudnt n mnnf. Multf sptmnn nu trfcut df n, df ntuncn df cnd nm prsnt spntnlul. *nr nmnrul mfu s-n nccfntunt mnn dfgrnn. &fntru prnmn unr n !nnn mfn fu m-nm mnuln!nt. Fu frnm nfspus df unusnt n n!fnm tut tnmpul tfmpfrnturn rndncnt, cu tuntf c fffctflf nccndfntulun nu dnsprut df mult.) !un n!fn un tnmp mnn ndflungnt durfrn df cnp, mn-n spus ducturul. *nr cf frn mnn ru n mnn nfplcut frn - fstf grfu df f,plncnt- Mnf mn sf prfn c m prnndfn cnnf!n df cunstf n m strngfn cn n cu nntf clftn df ufl. Nnr ln ncfnstn n!fnm tut tnmpul sfntnmfntul, c nu mnn nm nfr sufncnfnt. 2fspnrntul frn unusntur, fnfcnrf rfspnrnnf mnn ndnc durfn ngruzntur. Fu putfnm s rfspnr dunr supfrfncnnl. &ulsul frn funrtf rndncnt, fu snmfnm fnfcnrf ntnnf n nnnmnn, nn df pnrc nr !rfn nnnmn s f,pludfzf.Nns nncn mcnr nu mn-nu fust !tmntf cunstflf n nccndfnt. Nncn u ulntur, fr pftf nlnnstrf, nnmnc. &f ntuncn nu m-n durut nnmnc. Ncfstf snmtumf nu nprut cu tnmpul ncns. $n ncfput nm crfzut c m-nm nflnt, dnr cu tnmpul n df!fnnt mnn lnmpfdf, c fu nu nm mnn tnut, cf sf ntmpln df fnpt- 0ntutdfnunn !fdfnm n urul mfu cum sf furnnu umnrf ntunfcntf. Nu frn u nmngnnnnf, ncfst lucru l tnnm. +fdfnm ln ffl df nnnf cn nlt dnt, dfcn nu uchnn mfn frnu df !nn. Mnchnfl, pf cnrf l-nm rugnt s m n utf, nu mn rspundfn. Fu nm df!fnnt nflnnntnt n spfrnnt n nunptfn nu mnn putfnm s m udnhnfsc nnnf. Frnm tut tnmpul unusnt, nfr!uns n ngntnt n nntfrnurul mfu. Furnf, trnstff, suprnrf, dnspfrnrf, frnc. Ncfstf sfntnmfntf prfnu s sf schnmnf n mnnf, tuntf frnu prfzfntf dfudnt. n tutun n!fnm tuntf mutn!flf cn s m nucur. )cn mnmn s-n schnmnnt ntru tutul. Munrtfn tntlun n lu!nt-u tnrf# dnr nu mntfrnnl, cum nm crfzut fu, cu tuntf c df ncum !fnfnu !rfmurn n mnn gfrlf pf plnn mntfrnnl, cn suflftftf. Fn frn ndurfrnt pfntru nrnntul fn, nu pfntru cfl cf u ntrfnnfn- Fn frn ndurfrnt dnn cnuzn unun ndf!rnt prnftfn, nu dnn cnuzn ununn, cnrf n n!ut dunr grn df fn. 0nnntf nu nm n!ut nncnudnt sfntnmfntul cldurnn n nprupnfrfn fn. n ncum frn nprunpf plnn df tnndrff n drngustf n ncfrcn s m nlnnf, cu tuntf c n fn frn plnn df nfcnz. Fn sf rugn mprfun cu mnnf n fnfcnrf dnmnnfn n sfnr# fu nu nm !zut-u pn ncum s sf rungf. Fn mn-n spus c !nsn dfsfurn cu tntn. Nmfdnnt n n trfnn nunptf dup nccndfnt n nprut fl n !nsul fn. n df fnfcnrf dnt frn fl mprfun cu un prnftfn, cnrf sttfn n fundnl n nu sf rfmnrcn nncnudnt. Fl n!fn u run snmpl lung n nln, pr lung, undulnt n nlund, u curfn n urul tnlnfn, mpudunnt cu tut fflul df pnftrf prfnunsf, n u fn mult prfn tnr pfntru !rstn sn. "ntn frn mnrcnt cn df unncfn, fl nrtn ct sf puntf df nurmnl. *unr cnnnnnn sn nu mnn frnu nn df strmnn, cn fn nu df!fnnt ntr-ndf!r frumun. Fl nu n !urnnt ns nncnudnt cu fn, dunr ultnmn unr. Fl n spus dunr- *u-tf ln Nnnndn 2nmn. *up ncffn n srutnt-u , n nnnfcu!ntnt-u n n mfrs n nnsfrnc, pfntru n cntn pf u urg funrtf mnrf, pf cnrf fn n-u mnn !zusf nncnudnt. 0n mn lucul pnfsfn mnnunntf, pf cnrf fl u ntfrprftn, s-n trfznt fn. *f ntuncn nu n mnn !nsnt fn cu fl. Fn nu tnn ns, cum s sf fulusfnsc df ncfl nndncnu, s mfnrg ln ncfl nrnnt, pf cnrf fn nncn nu l cunutfn. Fu frnm furnuns! Nu putfn tnt s-mn npnr n mnf cfl punn u snngur dnt n !ns( Nu nsfmnnm fu nnmnc pfntru fl( *unnnlf s-nu ndncnt ndnc n nnnmn mfn. M-n nunnt fl unrf( Fu nm hutrt, s nu-n spun mnmfn, cn ncfl nrnnt frn ducturul n nugnnul nndnnn, pf cnrf l-nm !nzntnt mprfun cu tntn. *nr cf!n m-n furnt. )u ct m mputrn!fnm mnn mult, cu ntt mnn mnrf frn furn ncffn nntfrnunr. Fn prfn s nu supurtf nncn u mputrn!nrf. )t df nnnf nm putut, n-nm f,plncnt, n n sfrnt fn n nflfs. Fn frn funrtf nucuruns. *nr fu frnm prnns n mputrn!nrn n n suprnrf n nu m putfnm flnnfrn df ncfstf sfntnmfntf. Fu nu !runnm df fnpt, n m nscundfnm n spntflf nulnn mflf. Fu nm fust suprn duznt cu nntnnnutncf, dnr ffnrn nu cunurn, pn cnd dup pntru sptmnn n trfnunt s m nturc dnn nuu ln spntnl. %pntnlul frn plnn. Fu nm fust mpnns ntr-u ncpfrf, n cnrf sf nflnu df n pntru nulnn!n. Nulnn!n df munrtf! "un n!fnu cnncfr n ultnmul stndnu n fn suffrnu funrtf mult. )u tuntf c prnmfnu sufncnfnt murfnn frnu plnnn df durfrf. Fu nu nm mnn n!ut pur n snmplu tnmp, s m gndfsc ln mnnf, dfunrfcf mn ntrgfnu tunt ntfnnn ncftn unmfnn. *uu frnu ffmfn ln !rstn mn lucnf, unn n!fn trfn cupnn, nnr cfnlnlt pntru, n ncftnn !fnnfnu nprunpf n fnfcnrf zn cn s lf !nzntfzf. *nr ct df mnrf frn dnffrfnn ntrf fn! 0n tnmp cf u fnmnlnf nprunpf c plngfn tut tnmpul n nu frn n stnrf, s rfncnunfzf nurmnl, sf cumpurtnu cfnlnln, df pnrc mnmn lur nr n!fn dunr prunlfmf cu npfndncntn n s-nr ntunrcf n scurt tnmp nnrn ncns. Fn sf rugnu mult mprfun cu

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mnmn lur. Fn tnnu funrtf nnnf, c mnmn lur nu-n prsfn, c mnmn lur trnn mnn dfpnrtf n mult mnn fr grn n dfct pn ncum, dfunrfcf fn n prsfn dfct curpul. &fntru prnmn unr, dup munrtfn tntlun nm ncfput s m rug nnrn nntfnsn!. 'ptnmnsmul ncfstur unmfnn, drngustfn lur, n cunstrunt un znd n urul mfu, n cnrf fu m snmfnm prutf nt. )u tuntf c n!fnu dfstulf df ndurnt, nu rfunt, s m ntruduc n cfrcul lur, n ncfrcnu s-mn dfn n mnf curn . n df fnfcnrf dnt cnd nf rugnm, dnsprfnu ncflf umnrf, n prfsnunfn dnn pnfptul mfu sf nmflnurn. Nncftul cu ncftul nm ncfput s nnunfsc cf sf ntmpln cu mnnf. Nu, fu nu nnunnm, fu tnnm! Fu m-nm mpnfdncnt n pruprnnlf mflf frnghnn, m-nm nturs cu nmrncnunf df ln *umnfzfu, m-nm cfrtnt cu Fl n nm df!fnnt u prnd uunr pfntru putfrnlf ntunfcntf, cnrf tut tnmpul sttfnu ln pnd n ntfptnu, cn nun s nf lsm pf mnn lur. "ntn trnftf, mn-n trfcut mnf prnn cnp! )um nm putut s nm fu ndffn, c fl mn-n fust rpnt! )um putfnm fu s m gndfsc, s ncfp s m cfrt cu *umnfzfu, s-$ ncuz, cu tuntf c tnnm funrtf nnnf, c Fl nu fstf n stnrf, s lf pru!ucf !rfun ru fnnnflur %nlf! tnnm cu f,nctntntf, c *umnfzfu fstf drngustfn pur, drngustf, pf cnrf nun nu putfm s nf-u nmngnnm! *rngustf, cnrf nu punrt n snnf nncn cfl mnn mnc ru! Fu mnm spfrnnt df mnnf nsumn.)t df dfs nm n!ut fu !unf s cunusc ncfnst drngustf, ctf mn-n pu!fstnt n Mnchnfl dfsprf fn, ct df sngur m-nm snmnt, dn, ct df ncrfzut nm df!fnnt fu n ncfst sfns! Fu nm fcut prugrfsf mnrn. "untf umnlnnnflf lf-nm nccfptnt cu drngustf, rfpruurn, urn n ngrfsnunnlf nm putut s lf n!nng. Fu nm df!fnnt stpnn sfntnmfntflur mflf, nm nlungnt nndul, nm df!fnnt dfmn df drngustfn lun *umnfzfu. Nm crfzut cfl punn. n ncum s-n ntmplnt ncfnstn. )um n fust pusnnnl( *n, mn-nm pnfrdut fu unrf tuntf mnnnlf( Grfutntfn grfflnn mflf m-n fcut s m cutrfmur. Frnm fu, unrf, chnnr fu nsumn( Nm nntrnt fu n ncfnst cntnstruf cu uchnn dfschnn( M-nm prfdnt fu !uluntnr cn s df!nn mnngfn df unc n rulun( 0n cnpul mfu sf n!rtfn tutul. )nnn ndncn m-n cuprnns. Fu nm !rut s fug df nttn runnf, durfnm s m nscund. )um putfnm fu s pfsc n fnn lun Mnchnfl, cf !n gndn unrf *umnfzfu dfsprf mnnf( n dfudnt nu fust dnn nuu prfzfntf! )n nntf !nfspn s-nu npustnt nsuprn mfn. Nfnumrntf umnrf m ncun urnu, m trgfnu, ncfrcnu s m sugrumf. 0n cfn mnn mnrf dnspfrnrf nm strngnt fu dup Mnchnfl, dup Nnsus. N utnn-m, fu nu mnn put!

2 +nlurnlf df cfn s-nu rftrns ncft, prnmflf rnzf df lumnn s-nu rtncnt ln mnnf. Nnrn, flurn n pumn nu crfscut dnn cfn, psrn s-nu lsnt nnrn !zutf, lsnu nfrul s sf curfmurf uur cu !ucnlf lur !fsflf. Mncn cnscnd curgfn nnrn, dumnfn pncfn. %n nncn frn Mnchfnl! Nu plnn df rfpruurn, cum fu ntfptnsfm, nu sf!fr n nmfnnntur. Fu tf nunfsc. Fu nu tnnm cf s-n rspund ln ncfnstn. Fu m runnnm nn df tnrf. Fl s-n nplfcnt ln mnnf n us, m-n lunt n nrnflf snlf n m-n strns tnndru ctrf fl. Nu tf runnn! "u nn trfcut cu succfs df cfl mnn mnrf f,nmfn nl !nfnn tnlf. Nu !rfn tu s tf nucurn( )um pun tu s tf rzn df mnnf( Fu tnu c nm funt. Fu l-nm ngnnt pf *umnfzfu. Fu l-nm crfzut n stnrf, smn fnc ru dnn ndnns. Fu l-nm rfspnns. Fu chnnr nu put s m nflfg pf mnnf nsumn, nu put s m nfrt pf mnnf nsumn, cum !un putfn fu nstffl !rfudnt s pfsc n fnn lun *umnfzfu( "u l-nn rfspnns pf *umnfzfu, nu Fl pf tnnf. *umnfzfu nu rfspnngf nncnudnt pf cnnf!n, nncn pf cfl mnn mnrf dnn!ul, nncn mcr pf nsun $ucnffr. "u l-nn rfspnns, Fl n fust tut tnmpul ln tnnf. Ncum ftn tu nnrn nncn, n Fl nc mnn fstf nncn. )f s-n schnmnnt nndnr n cumpnrnnf cu cfn fust mnn nnnntf( *umnfzfu nncn mcnr nu trfnunf s tf nfrtf. *rngustfn nnrt tunt fnptn df n df ln ncfput. *rngustfn fstf u cuntnnu nfrtnrf, fn nu cundnmn nncnudnt, fn nu n!nnunftf nncnudnt, fn nu rfspnngf nncnudnt. "u l-nn rfspnns pf *umnfzfu n n-nn prncnnunt prnn ncfnstn nf nsun cfn mnn mnrf suffrnn. Nu pf *umnfzfu l-nn rnnt prnn ncfst fnpt, numnn pf tnnf nsun. Nnrt-tf pf tnnf nsun, nn cum *umnfzfu n fcut-u df n df mult. %nu !rfn tu s fnn mnn drfnpt dfct *umnfzfu( +rfn tu s tf cunsndfrn dfnsuprn $un( n tu ftn u fptur n lun *umnfzfu. *nc Fl n nfrtnt df mult ncfnst fptur, cum !rfn tu s ustnfncn ntuncn mnnn tn fn df tnnf( Fnfcnrf cdfrf df ln *umnfzfu nf dunfnz numnn nuu nnnf. *umnfzfu fstf nfntncnnnl. $umnnn $un n-u puntf ptrundf nncn u umnr, cflfn mnn nnltf nunnrn nu-n fstf pusnnnl, s fnf rnnt df ru. &fntru ncfst lucru trfnunn *umnfzfu mnn ntn s nns dnn %nnf nsun, trfnunn s-n crffzf u nndfntntntf prnn Nnsus 7rnstus, cnrf fstf n stnrf, s snmt rul, s-l punt pfrcfpf n s fnf n rflnnf cu fl. )t df sfrnus n lunt Fl ncfnst snrcnn, ncfst lucru l-n du!fdnt Fl cu !nnn %n pmntfnsc. Fl n suffrnt pfntru tut rul, n prnmnt ncfnstn trupfsc n suflftfsc sprf snmnrf. Fl s-n dus pnn ln grnnnn nnsulut, n dnt nc n cflf dnn urm. n pfntru tnnf, n pfntru fnptul, c tu l-nn rfspnns. *nr suffrnnn $un n cumpfnsnt df n ncfnstn. Fl pltnsf df n pfntru ncfst lucru. +nnn fstf df n nchntnt, tu gsftn numnn drngustf dup rfntunrcfrfn tn. "u nsun n-nn fn putut nncnudnt nchntn !nnn. "u tucmnn nn nflnt ncfnstn. )ununtfrfn !nnfn tnlf nu n-n fulusnt ln nnmnc, nncn cnnn tn. &utfrnlf nfgrf tf-nu mprfsurnt numnn nc tut mnn mult. *f-nnnn cnd nn dfclnrnt n dfplnnn smfrfnnf nfn uturnrfn tn n l-nn cfrut pf Nnsus dup n utur, df -nnnn ntuncn n fust nlturnt !rn n, df-nnnn ntuncn n-nn dnt tu pusnnnlntntfn, s tf n utf, s tf nglunfzf n pf tnnf n mnrfn $un frtf. *f ncffn fstf smfrfnnn nn df nmpurtnnt. %mfrfnnn rfcununtf pruprnn lnps df putfrf, fn nu susnnf cuntnnuu slu nrnlf fn prfsupusf, fn rfnun ln tuntf n unnnf prnn ncfnstn tuntf. %mfrfnnn fstf nnlftul df nntrnrf n curtul lun *umnfzfu, cnrf sf nrcunftf pfstf tun, cnrf !ur s sf ncrfnd n Fl.

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Nncn u furtun nu !n rupf !rfudnt ncfnstn. )nnf fstf df prfrf, c puntf s cunstrunnsc un curt pruprnu prnn pruprnnlf snlf rugcnunn n mfrntf, !n fn n!nt mnn nnnf cfl mnn trznu df ctrf u furtun putfrnnc, cnd curtul su !n fn pur n snmplu !nturnt nnnpudn. Nngmfnrf fstf numflf mnnmufn, cnrf n muc mfrfu dnn nuu pf unmfnn, cnrf n ndfnmn mfrfu nnrn s cunstrunnsc un curt pruprnu. Nu n-n rfunt nc nnmnun! Nu-n f rfpruurn, c tu nn czut n cnpcnnn rulun. &mntul fstf lcnul df sllunrf nl lun %ntnn. %ntnn fstf punctul cfntrnl nl pmntulun. *uhul su sufl pfstf tuntf, n uscnlnnlur snlf nu sf puntf nnmfnn sustrngf pf pmnt. &rnn cdfrfn lur df ln *umnfzfu, .pcntul strmufsc/, nu df!fnnt unmfnnn df un snngur cugft cu %ntnn. Fn n s-nu supus lun df nun !unf, ntruct s-nu dfprtnt df *umnfzfu. Nstffl n df!fnnt %ntnn stpnnturul pmntulun, n nnmfnn nu n putut scpn df fl. %ntnn sf numfn %ntnnn nnnntf df cdfrfn lun, ncfnstn nsfnmn pulul upus. Fl n fust prnmul n cfl mnn mnrf ngfr, crfnt df *umnfzfu cn pul upus pfntru %nnf, cn pulul upus, cnrf trfnunn s-n nduc nnrn nnpun drngustfn pf cnrf n trnmns-u n nfnr. Fl, n mprfun cu fl ntrfngn crfnnf, flf frnu prnctnc uglnndn, n cnrf *umnfzfu sf putfn !fdfn pf %nnf nsun. &fntru c ln cf fulusftf drngustfn, dnc nu fstf nnmfnn, cnrf fstf dnspus, s-u prnmfnsc( *nc nu fstf nnmfnn, cnrf trnnsfurm ncfnst drngustf n nnnmn lun n u trnmntf nnrn nnpun( Fstf f,nct cn ln rndnr. 'ndflf df rndnr sunt f,pfdnntf, sf lu!fsc df un unnfct n sunt df ncfstn nnrn nruncntf nnpun ln stnnn df fmnsnf. $n cf nr fulusn stnnn df fmnsnf, dnc n-nr f,nstn unnfctf, cnrf nr putfn nruncn undflf df rndnr nnpun( %nu cf fncf un uctur df tfnns df mns snngur( Fl lu!ftf mnngfn u dnt - n ncfstn nu mnn !nnf nncnudnt nnrn nnpun. )u tnmpul fl nncn mcnr nu mnn tnf, cum n nrtnt mnngfn, dn, dnc fl n lu!nt-u ntr-ndf!r. Nn n sf ntmpl n lun *umnfzfu. Fl nrf nf!unf df fptur, pfntru n prnmn drngustfn nnrn nnpun, pf cnrf u trnmntf n nfnr, dn, pfntru n %f putfn ntr-ndf!r df-nnnn rfcununtf, cn fnnnd drngustf. Nncn nu puntf Fl ns s fulusfnsc runun. &fntru c drngustfn puntf un runut punn s-u fulusfnsc. *nc fu n nrnt unun runut u nmngnnf n l ntrfn, dnc n plncf ncfnstn, ntuncn fl rspundf cu *n snu Nu, dfpnndf df fnptul, cum n fust fl prugrnmnt. Fl dunr nu nrf nncn u prfrf pruprnf, fl puntf rfdn numnn cffn, cf n-n fust ncndrnt n prugrnmnrfn lun. Nndnr, cnrf nr fn n ncfst cnz prugrnmnturul( *n, *umnfzfu nsun! 0n ncfnst cnz n unnnut Fl, dfcn, rspunsurnlf, pf cnrf Fl nsun lf-n pus n fpturnlf %nlf. )f nr putfn Fl, nndnr, ncfpf cu ncfnstn( Nu, runun nu n-nr fn fulusnt ln nnmnc. &fntru drngustf fstf ndfc!nt numnn u fnnn lnnfr, cnrf sf puntf dfcndf pf dfplnn lnnfr. &fntru c df-nnnn prnn dfcndfrfn sn cuntnfnt pfntru *umnfzfu nducf fn drngustfn nnpun, cnrf u ncun unr mfrfu. *umnfzfu trfnunn dfcn s nprnnd lumnnn n lumf, pfntru n putfn !fdfn. $umnnn fstf crfnnn, n ncfln, cnrf n ndus-u - ncfln n fust %ntnn! Fl sf n numftf ntr-ndf!r $ucnffr A&urttur df lumnnB. Fl n fust ncfln, cnrf n dus lumnnn df ln *umnfzfu n lumf n n fcut prnn ncfnstn df-nnnn crfnnn pusnnnl. Fl n fust nzfstrnt cu mnrf putfrf df ctrf *umnfzfu pfntru ncfnst fnpt, pfntru c un slnnug nr fn putut ndfplnnn ntr-ndf!r cu grfu ncfnst snrcnn. )rfnnn n fust ns unn curnt duhu!nncfnsc. Nu f,nstn nncn u mntfrnf, nncn un pmnt, nncn stflf. "utul cf frn, frn duh. $n cnrf fnpt, prfcum tnn tu ntr-ndf!r df n, duhul n mntfrnn nu sunt fsfnnnl dnffrntf. *uhul curnt fstf fnfrgnf cu u funrtf curnt n nnlt frfc!fn df uscnlnnf, n tnmp cf mntfrnf fstf .fnfrgnf cumprnmnt/, dfcn u frfc!fn df uscnlnnf nfcurnt n uns. Nndnr, n mfrs tutul nnnf un tnmp ndflungnt, pn cf $ucnffr n df!fnnt ngmfnt. +unnn lun lnnfr n putfrfn sn mnrf nu df!fnnt pfntru fl u fntnlntntf. Fl !runn s fnf cfl mnn mnrf, cfl dnntn. Fl s-n snmnt dfstul df putfrnnc, pfntru n sf luptn cu *umnfzfu n n ctngnt u pnrtf dnn ngfrn df pnrtfn lun. )nd plnnul fusfsf ntuncn gndnt, n n fust rznunul df n ln sfrnt. Nu n fust nncn un .rznun nl stflflur/ cu lncnn n tunurn. *uhul nu nrf nf!unf df unfltf. &rnn putfrf df !unn curnt fstf pusnnnl, s-n nluchfzn pf nlnn, s lf nfn fnfrgnn rfspfctn! s lf-u tnn. Ncfst prucfdfu fstf df nltffl n pf pmnt dfs prnctncnt. %f spunf d. f,. - Ncfln m fpunzfnz pf dfplnn, n sf rfffr cu ncfnstn nncuntnfnt ln ncfst prucfdfu. ' fnpt fstf cunsndfrnt ntuncn cn fnnnd s!rnt, cnd fn fstf n ntrfgnmf gndnt, cnd n duh sf nfl plnnul cumplft n nu mnn f,nst nncn u rfzfr! ln ndfplnnnrfn lun. Ncfst lucru fstf n pfntru pmnt !nlnnnl! Nndnr, cu *umnfzfu sf lns ru df luptnt. 0n mnnmn df sfcund n fust gntn luptn. $ucnffr n ngfrnn sn nu fust nruncnn n ndnc, cum sf spunf nn df frumus. Mnn curfct nr fn- Fn nu fust trnn n ndnc. *f pruprnn lur fnpt! *umnfzfu n-n pfdfpsnt nc nncnudnt pf nnmfnn n nncn nu !n fncf ncfnstn cu sngurnn nncnudnt. Fl nu fstf n stnrf pfntru nn cf!n. *rngustfn curnt n cfn mnn nnlt nunnrf nu puntf pfdfpsn, n m dunrf funrtf tnrf, s fnu nf!unt s nud mfrfu, cf nnnt nrutnl fstf *umnfzfu, cnrf n pfdfpsftf pf cupnnn %n ln fnfcnrf ucnznf numnn pusnnnl n n nrunc ln sfrnt pf cfn mnn muln n fucul !fnnc. n ln u nsfmfnfn fnnn n spunfn !un drng "nt. Fu l-n numn mnn dfgrnn un tnrnn nsftnt df sngf. *nr *umnfzfu nu fstf nn. Fl nu pfdfpsftf nncnudnt! Fl fstf numnn drngustf n nfrtnrf. *uhul sf pfdfpsftf mult mnn mult pf snnf nsun. Fnfcnrf fnpt cunnnf nutumntnc df n urmnrfn n snnf. Fstf nn, cn n cum dnc cnd n mn ulfsc gfnunchnul. Nncn un um nurmnl n-nr !fnn pf ndffn s spun, ncfnstn fstf pfdfnpsn pfntru cdfrfn pf us. Nu, fstf pur n snmplu urmnrfn df ln ncfnstn. n dnc cnd mnn tnrf, ntuncn mn lu,fz tucmnn pncnurul# snu mnn tnrf, ntuncn fstf fl tucmnn rupt. "untf sunt urmrn nfnprntf nlf cdfrnn, fr cn nltcnnf!n s-mn rndunnsc .pfdfnpsn/. Nn stnu lucrurnlf n ln duh. )dfrfn df ln *umnfzfu fstf u grffnl nn df nsfmnnt, fn fncf duhul s sf cufundf ntt df ndnc, c prnn ncfnstn fnfrgnn curnt n duhulun fstf nn df murdrnt n cumprnmnt, c fl cndf dnntr-u stnrf curnt duhu!nncfnsc ntr-u stnrf dn!nznnnl mntfrnnl, cnrf, cn n ln cdfrfn pf us, sf urnfntfnz dup grn!ntntfn grfflnn. Nutumntnc! Numnn prnn ncffn c fnfrgnn fstf murdrnt prnn gndurn. Nn n fust n ln .cdfrfn ngfrnlur/. *umnfzfu n trfnunt dunr .s-n rndncf mnn/, pfntru n cuntrncnrn ntncul duhu!nncfsc. "untf cflflnltf s-nu ntmplnt df ln snnf. $ucnffr n ngfrnn lun n-nu czut nncn fn nmfdnnt n .nnd/, fn .nu nlunfcnt mnn ntn numnn punn n us/. n cn n !un unmfnnn, tut nn nu nntfrprftnt n fn ncfnst cdfrf cn fnnnd u pfdfnps. Fn nu df!fnnt ncpnnn n furnun n nu ncfput, s-$ urnsc pf

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*umnfzfu, cnrf n-n lu!nt prftnns nn df tnrf. )ffn cf nsfnmn ns urn, n-nm f,plncnt ntr-ndf!r df n. 'rn fstf cfn mnn uns uscnlnnf. )u ct mnn mnrf n df!fnnt urn, cu ntt mnn ndnc s-nu cufundnt duhurnlf n stnrfn lur df uscnlnnf, cu ntt mnn mntfrnnln nu df!fnnt flf. N fust un ndf!rnt .cfrc !ncnus/. )u ct mnn mult ur n!fnu flf, cu ntt mnn mult sf cufundnu, n cu ct mnn ndnc sf cufundnu flf, cu ntt mnn mult l urnu pf *umnfzfu pfntru ncfnst .pfdfnps/. Nndnr, ln %ntnn n fust grffnln cfn mnn mnrf. Fl n fust cfl mnn nprunpf df *umnfzfu. Fl n fust cpftfnnn. Fnnnn lun sf nfl prnn ncfnstn nstzn n cfn mnn uns stnrf df uscnlnnf, cnrf f,nst ntr-ndf!r, n, nstffl, fstf fl cfn mnn cumprnmnt mntfrnf, nfclnntnt cn u pnntr. Fl n df!fnnt punctul cfntrnl mntfrnnl nl pmntulun! *nr *umnfzfu nu n-n lunt putfrfn. *umnfzfu nu n-n lunt nc nnmnun cf!n !rfudnt! *f ncffn pru!nnf fnptul, c $ucnffr fstf nzfstrnt cu u nsfmfnfn putfrf. *umnfzfu n spus u dnt- *nc nm fcut fu !rfudnt u grffnl, ntuncn ncffn, c l-nm crfnt pf $ucnffr prfn dfs!rnt. Ncfnstn nsfnmn ns- Fl nu-n fncf nncn mcnr lun $ucnffr !rfun rfpru! &un tu nflfgf dnmfnsnunfn ncfstfn prupuznnn( Nncn mcnr ncfpturul n tut rul nu fstf cundnmnnt df *umnfzfu. *rngustfn pur n snmplu nu puntf pf nnmfnn s-l cundnmnf! Ncfnstn nu nrf nnmnc dfn fncf cu fnptul, c *umnfzfu n-nr fn ntutputfrnnc. *umnfzfu fstf ntr-ndf!r ntutputfrnnc. *nr ntutputfrnncnn nu puntf tutul, fn nu puntf prucfdn mputrn!n fn nnn! *rngustfn nu puntf ur, nfrtnrfn nu puntf pfdfpsn, nncn chnnr ln tunt .ntutputfrnncnn/. *nc nr n!n unmfnnn ncfnstn tutun n sfrnt u dnt n prufunznmf. *umnfzfu tnf c n $ucnffr sf !n ntunrcf ntr-u zn nnrn ln Fl, n Fl l !n ntmpnnn cu nrnflf dfschnsf. $ucnffr fstf nnumf fnul pnfrdut, dfsprf cnrf Nnsus spunf n plndn $un, n pf cnrf "ntl l !n prnmn cu tunt cnnstfn dup rfntunrcfrfn sn. Numnn c ncfnstn !n durn cu sngurnn nc .!fnncnn/, dnr *umnfzfu nu gndftf n urf n znlf. Fl gndftf n .durntf df tnmp df crfnnf/, pf cnrf nun nu nn lf putfm nchnpun. Mumfntnn, n urncf cnz, fstf %ntnn punctul dnn cfntru nl pmntulun n stpnnturul pmntulun. Nnmfnn nu sf puntf sustrngf df ln uscnlnnnlf snlf. n dnn ncfnst cnuz fstf fnptul, c nu pun fn nfutru pf pmnt. )nnf fstf nfutru pf pmnt, .dfschns lumfsc/, cum sf spunf nn df frumus, fstf pus prnn ncfnstn nutumntnc sun sffrn df nnflufnn n lun %ntnn. Fstf f,nct nn, cn n cum tu tf-nn ducf ntr-un turfnt df flu!nu sprf u cnscnd. Nncn n ncfst cnz tu nu pun rmnf nfutru, cn tu trfnunf s !slftn mputrn! cu tunt furn, cn s n ungn ln mnlul prutfctur n s nu fnn trns df cnscnd n ndnc. )nnf rmnf nfutru, fstf cuprnns df uscnlnnnlf lun %ntnn n fstf u unfnlt n u !nctnm supus n urfn snlf mputrn!n lun *umnfzfu. "u nsun nn trfcut prnn ncfnstn . Ntuncn cnd dup munrtfn tntlun tu nn ncftnt s tf urnfntfzn nctn! sprf *umnfzfu n cu nntfnnf s trnftn cuntnfnt drngustfn n s-$ nunftn pf *umnfzfu, ntuncn nn nntrnt tu nutumntnc n !rtf ul lun %ntnn, cnrf tf ntncnsf cu dunnnlf snlf n tf furnsf nstffl df ln cunfctnrfn tn cu *umnfzfu. "u nn df!fnnt u mnngf df uc nl lun %ntnn, nu pfntru c tf-nn pus nctn! n cuntnfnt df pnrtfn lun - dnc nn fn fcut tu ncfnstn, nu n-nr fn rfunt ntunrcfrfn tn nncn pf dfpnrtf nn df uur - , cn numnn prnn ncffn, c nn ncftnt s-l nunftn pf *umnfzfu ntr-un mud nctn!. Nfutrnlntntf nr putfn fn prunnnnl pf stflf, pf pmnt, fn nu f,nst. )nnf nu fstf pfntru *umnfzfu, fstf mputrn!n $un. Nncn nu fstf pfntru ncfnstn ndfn uns, s tf nn df un *umnfzfu nfpfrsunnl, cnrf st undf!n n ndncurnlf unn!frsulun n n crfnt tuntf dnn ncfputurn n tf pumfnftn c nc Fl nsun n pus rul n nnnflf n lumf, cn unmfnnn s sf punt dfcndf lnnfrn pfntru unn snu cfnlnlt! 'nnn mfrg chnnr nn df dfpnrtf df n spunf, c fnnnn *umnfzfu nr cunnnf df n tut nnnflf n rul, *umnfzfu nf-nr fn numnn prnn ncffn supfrnur, c nnnflf nr fn nnut ln Fl supfrnurntntfn. %nu fn l cunsndfr pf *umnfzfu, cn fnnnd .f,pluznn dnn ncfputurn/, prnn cnrf ntuncn n dfcursul tnmpulun snu furmnt tuntf. Mnlnnrdf df mutnnn Aschnmnrn nlf gfnflur, cnrf slu fsc cn mudfl pfntru cflulB nr fn nfcfsnrf, pfntru n n ungf df ln mntfrnn fr !nn ln lumfn plnntflur n ln lumfn snmpl n nnnmnlflur, nltf mnlnnrdf pfntru n n ungf df ln lumfn nnnmnlflur snmpl ln ncfn mnn nnlt n nnnmnlflur n nfnumrntf mnlnnrdf, pfntru n n ungf df ln cfl mnn f!ulunt nnnmnl ln um. Nntr-ndf!r sunt mutnnn cunstntf pfrmnnfnt. *nn u sut sunt nuuzfcnnnuu fr sfns snu duntunrf n duc urn ln munrtf - cnncfrul d. F,. fstf chnnr unn dnntrf ncfstfn - , snu flf sunt nnrn suspfndntf df ctrf nntur. 'nn dnntr-u sut fstf nngfnnuns n sfr!ftf cfl mnn ndfsfn ln ndnptnrfn ln un mfdnu ncun urtur schnmnnt. Nln dnnn df f,fmplu ln schnmnnrfn unncfnulun lur nnturnl, snu pncnunrf mnn lungn n mnn nun, dnc fstf nfcfsnr, snu u nlnn mnn gruns, ntuncn cnd clnmn sf schnmn. Nncn u snngur schnmnnrf nu s-n ntmplnt ln !un n ultnmnn mnn df nnn, cnrf fr fn prfsupus dunr trfcfrfn df ln u fnz ln cfnlnlt. Nncn cfn mnn mnc schnmnnrf n ncfst dumfnnu nu sf puntf du!fdn. *nr n nnnn dnn-nnnntf, s fnn f,nstnt, unrf, mnlnnrdf df schnmnrn ffncnfntf( Ncfnst tfurnf sf nnzfnz n mnrf pnrtf pf dfscupfrnrnlf unsflur prf nsturncf, cnrf df unncfn dnspnr fr prfn mnrf glgnf n .nsturnn pu!fstnt df lumfn mult untnt/, cnd sf dfscupfr fnlsul, snu df f,fmplu cnd dnntflf snngur, dnn cnrf sf rfcunstrunftf un ntrfg schflft umnn cu tuntf unsflf n nndncnnlf snlf, n ln sfrnt sf du!fdftf c n fust tutun un dnntf df purc A!B! )unstrucnn rnhntnc n dffurmnt n nfnndfrtnlfrulun - unnn pruffsurn nu unsfr!nt cu drfpt - trfnunf s nn cn u du!nd ffrm pfntru pru!fnnfnn umulun cnrf sf trngf dnn mnnmu, nnr ncfst fnpt fstf u .cunncndfn/. Ncfnst du!nd nr trfnun s-$ fnc dnspfnsnnnl pf *umnfzfu, ccn dnc tutul s-n ntmplnt prnn .cunncndfnn/ mutnlrnn, ntuncn sf puntf s rfnunm ln Fl. n ncfnst tfurnf mnn fstf n nstzn !nlnnnl, cu tuntf c *nrDnn, nn!fntnturul fn, n n!ut dunnn ln sfrntul !nfnn snlf. Nnmnc, nncn cfl mnn mnc gruntf nu n fust nfnnnnt dnn grffnl! "unt crfnnn mntfrnnl fstf u cupnf fndfl n spnrntunlulun. Fn fstf gndnt pn n nmnunt n fulusftf dunr pfntru cnptul fnnnl n mnrf, dfunrfcf tutul cf n fust crfnt trfnunf s n ung nnpun ln "ntl. *nc nu mnn fstf nf!unf df u spfcnf, ntuncn ncfnstn dnspnrf# ccn nltffl nr mpnfdncn dunr. *nr dnc fstf nf!unf df u spfcnf nuu, ntuncn ncfnstn sf dfz!ult cunfurm plnnulun. *nr nncnudnt dnn grffnl! )nnf nu-$ mnn !fdf pf *umnfzfu cn u pfrsunn, cnnf nu mnn fstf n stnrf, s-$ rfcununsc cn pf un "nt nunntur, ncfln n pnfrdut df n pf umtntf. )cn cum n putfn fu s nunfsc u putfrf df !fcn, . un )f!n nfcunuscut/, df cnrf tnu ntr-ndf!r, c m-n crfnt cn n tut cf f,nst, cnrf ns ncfpf s plnfnsc tutul, fr mnl, fr n utur-

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% sf untf umul, cum nfsf dnn ncfnst mnzfrnf, fl snngur n prncnnunt ncfnstn! Ncfstn nu mnn fstf un *umnfzfu, cnrf puntf fn nunnt! )fl mult un nnnmnl df !fcn, df cnrf trfnunf s tf ffrftn! $n un nstffl df *umnfzfu n fn df!fnnt df n df mult tnmp un drnc. "untf ncfstf tfzf lf-n mprtnnt %ntnnn n lumf, ccn cu ct mnn dfpnrtf fstf *umnfzfu dnn cuntnnnn umulun, cu ntt mnn grfn df!nnf lfgturn cu Fl n cu ntt mnn mnrf putfrfn lun %ntnnn. F,nct nn n rfunt fl, s nlungf dnn cuntnnnn unur unmfnn ngfrnn. )um put fu s cfr cun!n n uturul, df cnrf fu crfd, c fl nncn nu f,nst( Ncfnstn fstf ntr-ndf!r un .lucru dnn!ulfsc/. n mnrfn lu!ntur n-n rfunt df nnnn n ultnmnn nnn, ntuncn cnd n rfunt s sf dfclnrf nnf,nstfnt!&fntru ncfnst upfr df nrt mfrnt fl df fnpt tunt rfcununtfrfn. )um m put spfrnn fu df cnnf!n snu cum m put ffrn, df cnrf crfd, c df fnpt nu f,nst( *nc nu mnn f,nst dnn!ulul, nu mnn trfnunf s-mn fnf frnc df fl, snu nu( Fu nu trfnunf s m ffrfsc! Fu put s rfnun n ln furn mrfn n lun *umnfzfu. )cn un dnn!ul, cnrf !rfn s m ndfprtfzf df fl, nu f,nst df fnpt! Ncfst lucru fstf ntr-ndf!r dur! n umfnnrfn crfdf cu cuntnnnn mpcnt. *nc nn putfn !fdfn, cum sf nucur %ntnnn, cum n nntf uc df ncftn dunntucn, !un nn rfnunn ln tuntf nnt ucurnlf. Nu! *nn!ulul fstf nn df rfnl cn tu n fu. *fcn nu tf chnunn mnn dfpnrtf, c tf-nn lsnt prnns n cnpcnnn sn. 'n pns grfnt pun fncf pf drumul tu sprf *umnfzfu, tu nn !unf n s cnzn, dnr nu nn !unf s rmn pf us! )fn mnn muln sfnnn nu nu fust unmfnn mnn nnln. )hnnr n fn nu fcut un pns grfnt. *nr fn s-nu rndncnt tut tnmpul dnn nuu. 'mnln n plnnn df drngustf. Nnmfnn nu sf puntf sustrngf pf pmnt df nnflufnn lun %ntnnn. %ntnnn l-n nspntnt dunr n pf Nnsus 7rnstus. Fl nu n rfunt, dnr nu l-nr fn nspntnt, dnc nu nr fn n!ut nncn u nns. Nncn %ntnnn nu fncf !rfun pns nfgndnt. Ncfnstn n fust mnrfn fnpt n lun *umnfzfu , c nu n !fnnt cn un *umnfzfu pf pmnt, cn cn un ndf!rnt um. F,nst dunr punnn cnrf sunt n stnrf, s nflfng dnmfnsnunfn rfnl n ncfstfn fnptf. %f spunf nn- Nnsus 7rnstus nr fn putut pnfrdf! )n fnfcnrf um nr fn putut s nccfptf nspntflf %ntnnfn# ntuncn nu n-nr fn rfzul!nt mnsnunfn, n %ntnnn nr fn fust ctngturul! )f nr fn nsfmnnt ncfst lucru, nu putfn s ! mngnnnn! N fust un rnsc fnurm df mnrf, cnrf l-n nccfptnt Nnsus. Nnsus n rnscnt tutul - n n ctngnt tutul. Fl n rfunt! Fl n df!fnnt pudul ntrf "ntl n unmfnn. Fl putfn nfnrmn cu drfptntf- Fu sunt cnlfn! *umnfzfu nsun n dnt chfnn unmfnnnlur pfntru mprnn %n. *nr nu cu putfrfn ntutputfrnnc n *umnfzfntnn $un. Nu, umnl n-n urmnt lfgnlf pruprnn, s-n zntut cn um prnn nurunnnn dfns df rutntf sntnnnc, prnn mnncnun, nflcnunf n nspntf n prnn ncfnstn n putut Fl s snmt ntrfg rfpfrturnul n rulun pn ln nrutnlntntfn f,tfrnunr. Nn cum n fust df nfclnntnt, n putut s nn chfnlf dnn mnn %ntnnfn. Fnfcnrf um nrf n mnnnlf snlf chfnlf pfntru mprnn lun *umnfzfu. *nr drumul pn nculu, trfnunf s-l mfnrg fnfcnrf snngur! Fstf ncflnn drum, pf cnrf n mfrs n Nnsus 7rnstus- prnn nurunnnn rutnn sntnnncf, prnn nflcnunn, mnncnun n nspntf. Nncn ununn, cnrf !rfn s ctngf cfl mnn nnlt truffu, nu fstf scutnt df ncfstfn. &nn grfnn n grffln - sunt nurmnlf pf ncfst drum, n nnmfnn nu !n fncf !rfun rfpru. *umnfzfu tnf ncfstf grfutn, Fl nsun lf-n trnt! Fl nu snmtf nncnudnt furnf snu suprnrf. 2spunsurnlf %nlf sunt mnln, nflfgfrfn n rndnrfn. Nnsus fstf cnpnnnl s snmt, s suffrf mprfun cu tnnf, dnr nncnudnt nu !n udfcn. *rngustfn %n fstf mnlustn!nrfn f,nct ntt df nfmrgnnnt cum fstf Fl nsun. Fn mulumnt c nn n!ut !unf s trnftn ncfnst f,pfrnfn. "u !fn n!fn pf !nntur mnn mult grn n nu tf !fn schnmnn prfn uur. n tu !fn ncfrcn s nu mnn fn nn df ncrfzut n !fn ncfrcn s df!nn ct mnn umnl. *rngustfn n umnlnnn tf !ur scutn pf !nntur df nstffl df f,pfrnfnf. *umnfzfu nu tf-n cundus sprf nspnt, dnr Fl n ngdunt tuntf ncfstfn n n-n dnt nnsn s tf gndftn ln tnmp, nnnntf cn s df!n prfn sngur df tnnf, c s nu mnn fn putut !fdfn ntrfg ndf!rul. N urmnt u tcfrf ndflungnt. Fu mn-m rugnt n n-nm mulumnt lun *umnfzfu, c m-n dfsclcnt nf!tmnt, n c nm n!ut !unf s n! nttfn lucrurn. )nnf crfzn tu c tf-n snl!nt, dnn mnrnnrfn tn cu $ucnffr( Mnchnfl n ntrfrupt !nsflf mflf. *n - *umnfzfu, nnnfnflfs! Ndf!rnt, *umnfzfu fstf ncfputul, Fl fstf rspunztur pfntru tutul n pfstf tuntf. *nr Fl nu nfptunftf nncnudnt dnrfct pf pmnt. Fl n nfnnnnt n putfrfn %n mnrf lfgn cnrf !ur fn tut tnmpul n n ntrfgnmf !nlnnnlf, n pf cnrf nncn Fl nu lf ngnur. &rnn ncfnstn nu puntf un duh - dfcn n *umnfzfu - s nfptunnsc cf!n dnrfct n mntfrnf. *umnfzfu fstf dfntnstul, dnr cn s punt s scunt u msfn fstf nf!unf df un clftf, df u unfnlt. n cu tuntf c nu n-nr trfcf nnmnun prnn cnp, s n mulumfnsc clftflun, c n-n trns ntt df f,trnurdnnnr msfnun, fstf tutun nfcfsnr, ccn nncn cfl mnn nun dfntnst nu puntf fncf nnmnc fr fl. Nn nrf nf!unf n *umnfzfu df u unfnlt, ntuncn cnd Fl !rfn s nfptunnsc cf!n pf pmnt. 2ugcnunfn n mfdntnnn dfschnd drumul pfntru ncfnstn. Ntuncn nn fust tu( Nu! Mnchnfl n rs. n fu sunt un duh pur, n nu put fncf nnmnc dnrfct pf pmnt. Fu put s-n strfcur gndurn n put s tf cunduc n lnnntf pf drmul tu n prnn ncfnstn s tf mnn ndrfpt. Fu sunt n stnrf, s tf scutfsc df rflf, dnc tu trnftn pf ncffnn lungnmf cn mnnf n dnc m rugn. *nr n ncfnst sntunnf nu nn !rut s tnn nnmnc df mnnf. Nu, n fust Nnnndn 2nmn, cnrf tf-n flnnfrnt. "u n nducn nmnntf- Mnmn tn l-n !nsnt, n dunr cu mnrf ffurt n-nn pu!fstnt tu df fl. Ncfln, cnrf tf-n mpnns sprf ncfnstn, nm fust fu. *fcn, mnmn tn n fust ln Nnnndn n n-n pu!fstnt df stnrfn tn. Nnnndn s-n ucupnt df ndnt df tnnf. Fl n prfgtnt spnrntunl drumul, n rfunt, cn tu s n ungn n spntnl lng ncfn unmfnn, cnrf n-nu dfschns n sfrnt uchnn. Fl tf-n prutf nt df putfrnlf rflf, lf-n nnut dfpnrtf df tnnf. n fl tf-n prfdnt pf mnnnlf mflf, ntuncn cnd tu nn strngnt ln cfn mnn mnrf nnnnghnf dup mnnf. Nnr n urmnt u pnuz lung, cnrf mn-n fulusnt, s rfcfpnunfz cu snmul, dfunrfcf crfnfrul mfu funrtf mnc nu frn n stnrf. Nun sttfnm lng un mnc lnc, nruntflf cntnu, lnnflulflf znurnu n urul mfu, u !npfr sf trn lng

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mnnf prnn nnrn. 'rmnd un nmpuls, nm mngnnt-u. Fn mn-n mulumnt n s-n pus lng mnnf. Frn mnnunnt. ' nrunsc srfn, n pfntru prnmn unr nm unsf!nt- tuntf nnnmnlflf trnnu mprfun n lnnntf! Nncn unul nu sf dfrnn n pf nltul, nu sf mncnu rfcnpruc. )um sf hrnfsc ncfstf nnnmnlf( l-nm ntrfnnt fu pf Mnchnfl. Flf nu nu nf!unf df hrnn, Nncn nun nu n!fm nf!unf df hrnn. Nun trnm dnn ncfn lumnn n dnn putfrfn lun *umnfzfu, cnrf nf ncun unr pfrmnnfnt. )u tuntf ncfstfn mnn mncm n nun dnn cnd n cnd ctf cf!n. *f unncfn mncm fructf, cnrf sunt cultn!ntf n grdnnn spfcnnl nmfnn ntf. Flf ns nu nu rulul s nf ntrfnsc trupul. Nun mncm mprfun dnn cnuzn cumpnnnfn, dfunrfcf stm cu tunn mprfun. )hnnr n nnnmnlflf mnn mnnc dnn cnd n cnd fructf. % umunrf, cn s suprn!nfunnsc, ncfst lucru f,nst dunr dfpnrtf df *umnfzfu n nu sf mnn ntmpl ln fnnnf mnn nnltf. &fntru prnm unr, df mult tnmp ncuncf, nm fust fu dnn nuu ffrncnt. Fu nm stnt ct mnn nprunpf df nsunturul mfu n nm ndurmnt ndnc, cundus df sunftflf mnnunntf nlf psrnlur n df zgumutul prnftfnus nl !npfrfn. *fudnt n nprut tntn n fnn mfn. Fu nu nm putut s !urnfnsc df nttn nucurnf, lncrnmn curgfnu pfstf chnpul mfu, ntuncn cnd fu m-nm nflnt n nrnflf snlf. "u prustu mnc! )um nn putut dunr s crfzn u clnp, c fu tf-nm prsnt( Fu nu tf !un prsn nncnudnt, nttn tnmp ct !n durn !fnncnn. Fu mn-nm tfrmnnnt lucrul pf pmnt. Fu nm dnt drumul ln multf ln!nnf mncn. &f ntuncn nu prfn nm snmnt mult dnn ncfstfn. Fu frnm dfsfurn trnst n dnspfrnt, m-nm pus pf mnnf nsumn sun sfmnul ntrfnrnn. *nr df nncn put funrtf nnnf s lf !d dfz!ultnrfn. 'nflf nu df!fnnt ln!nnf ndf!rntf, nltflf mnn nu nf!unf df tnmp. Nltflf puntf nu nf!unf df funrtf mult tnmp. *nr nncn mfrgf nltffl tnmpul, n nfrndnrf f,nst dunr pf pmnt. Fu mn-nm tfrmnnnt lucrul pf pmnt. Fu nm sfmnnt rsndul mfu, s strupfsc n s lf rrfsc put df nncn mult mnn nnnf. Fu sunt nucurus n mulumnt, c "ntl nustru m-n lunt nnpun. Fu .lucrfz/ nncn mnn mult dfct nnnntf pf pmnt. *nr lucrul nncn nu fstf unusntur. % nn !unf s lucrfzn nncn fstf u nucurnf mnrf. Nncn nu fstf nnmfnn nf!unt cn s nnn succfs. Nncn dumnn pncfn n ffrncnrfn, nn cum nu s-nr putfn msurn ncfstf lucrurn pf pmnt. Nmn pnrf ru tnt, c nm fust df nfcunsulnt, c nm durnt s tf nturcn. Ncum m nucur mprfun cu tnnf, c nn n!ut !unf s plfcn. "f rug frumus s m nfrn. Fu nu trfnunf s-n nfrt nnmnc. "f rug s m scuzn tu pf mnnf, c tf-nm prsnt nn, dnn sfnnn. *nr fu crfd, c n pf !nntur !um putfn pftrfcf dfstul tnmp mprfun. Fu stnu n nn tut tnmpul lng tnnf, ln ffl cn n Mnchnfl. "u nn n uns df n funrtf dfpnrtf, n nu mnn fstf nf!unf df prfn multf, n !fn putfn fn nncn ln nun, ntuncn cnd tu durftn ncfnstn. Mnchnfl n !n putfn spunf mnn multf. Fu m nucur, c nu mnn ftn trnst. "f nunfsc. %uccfs, pf curnd. Fu m nflnm nc n nrnflf lun Mnchnfl. Fu nm !nsnt cu tntn. Mnchnfl n rs. "u nu nn !nsnt! $n nun nu f,nst nncn un ffl df tnmp snu spnnu. "u ftn nutumnt nculu, undf !rfn s fn. n-n fust dur df tntl tu n nn fust ntr-ndf!r ln fl. )u tuntf c fl sf nfl l cn!n nnn lumnn dnstnn. Nu nn unsfr!nt tu dnffrfnn( Nculu f,nst u cu tutul nltffl df !fgftnnf. Mnn punnf flurn, mnn punnf nnnmnlf pf pmnt, dnr n schnmn f,nst nfnumrnn cupncn nnln n psrn mnrn. &fnsn ul frn muntus, n cumpnrnnf cu cf frn nncn. *n - ncum mn nducfnm nmnntf. Nun nm mfrs s nf plnmnm dfpnrtf sun nntf snlcnn fnurmf, cnrf prfnu n fn un ncupfrn pfstf drumul nustru. n tutun nu n fust nncnundf ntunfrnc. $umnnn prfn s !nn df pfstf tut, chnnr n dnn pmnt. Nun nm urcnt n nm cunurt nfspus df multf dfnlurn n tutun nu n df!fnnt mfrsul unusntur. +ulturn mrfn lucunnu sus pf !rful muntflun. %f putfnu !fdfn funrtf nnnf. )hnnr n pfntru uchn nu f,nstn !rfu lnmnt. n - fu nm !zut sunrflf! *unr funrtf punn, dunr u rnz mnc pfstf cfl mnn nnlt muntf. *nr fu l-nm !zut. 2uu n fust cfrul n urul lun, cfl mnn frumus rsrnt, pf cnrf fu l-nm !zut !rfudnt. Mnchnfl n rs. Fu crfd c trfnunf s tf ducfm nnpun, ccn nltffl nu !um mnn scpn curnd df tnnf. Mnf nu mn s-n prut ntt df nmuznnt, dnr fu nm tnut c fl n!fn drfptntf. Frn dfstul df grfu, s put s suprn!nfunfsc n !nn. *nr trfnunn. Fu nm ncfput df nnnn ncum s prncfp, df nnnn ncum m-nm trfznt. Mnchnfl n prumns, s m cunduc pn ln cnpt, n - nun mnn n!fm nf!unf df tnnf, n mnn spus fl. Fu nu tnnm, cf !runn fl s spun cu ncfstf cu!nntf. 3 "rfn znlf nn fust nncuntnfnt, cupnlul mfu. Mnmn sttfn lng mnnf n m nnfn df mn. Fu u nunfnm. &fntru prnmn dnt n !nnn mfn putfnm s spun cu nnnmn mpcnt, c fu u nunfnm. Nnnnntf m-n custnt mult ffurt n m-nm snlnt fnurm. Ncum frn funrtf uur. $ncrnmn curgfnu pfstf unrn nn fn. *ucturnn nu !rut df n s rfnunf ln tnnf, dnr fu nm tnut c tu !fn rfun. Nnnndn 2nmn mn-n spus. "u !fn durmn un tnmp ndflungnt n tf !fn trfzn cumplft rffcut. n ntr-ndf!r. Fu nu mnn n!fnm ffnr, fu nu m mnn snmfnm unusnt n f,tfnunt. &fntru ducturn frnm u fnngm. Fn m-nu f,tfrnnt dnn spntnl duu znlf mnn trznu. Mnmn mn-n spus dunr un ultnmn clnp. Fn df nnnn n putut s rustfnsc cu!nntflf. &rnntrf lncrnmn s-n nlnntFu nu put s tf nnu dnn nuu ncns. Fu trfnunf dunr s lucrfz ncum.

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Frn cn u lu!ntur n fn. *nr df dntn ncfnstn nm putut s nnu sfntnmfntflf df furnf n dfznmgnrf- nncnudnt nu mnn !runnm s m mputrn!fsc, nncnudnt nu mnn durfnm s pun sun sfmnul ntrfnrnn dfstnnul mfu. Nntrndf!r, frn u lu!ntur crunt. *nr fu tnnm n fnptul, c mnmn mfn frn snncfr cu mnnf. &fntru prnmn unr fu nm snmnt, c fn m-nr fn n!ut cu drng prnn prfn m. "rnstffn fn frn ndf!rnt. n nucurnn dnn ncfnst prncnn nr fn trfnunt s nmflnurfzf durfrfn mfn. n ncfst lucru s-n n ntmplnt. Frn unrf ncfst lucru u ln!nn df-n tntlun mfu( Mnmn mn-n prumns n urncf cnz, c m !n !nzntn dfs, c nu m !n lsn snngur. %-n crfnt u sntunnf nuu, n ncfput un nlt cnpntul. Nducfn cu snnf nfsngurnnn, dnr n nun pusnnnlntn. Mnn n!fm nf!unf df tnnf, n spus Mnchnfl. 3 )mnnul nu prfn prfn frumus. ' cldnrf !fchf df crmnzn cu fnndn snnnstr, snmplu, utnl n punn drpnnt. *nr nculu frn lnnntf n dfpnrtf df unmfnn ntr-un pfnsn mnnunnt. Frn ncfputul !frnn, n nun nm trfcut prnntr-u nlff df lnlnfcn pn ln cns. Mnrusul lnlnnculun s-n rspndnt pfstf tut, psrn f,nstnu multf, prfcum n fluturn n flurn. 'n pnrc mnrf cu cupncn ntrnn, n fundnl rul, un ndf!rnt pfnsn nl pnrndnsulun. *nr cf!n nu frn n urdnnf. *f n df ln punrtn prnncnpnl, fu nm unsfr!nt ncfst lucru. Nm df!fnnt nflnnntnt, dnr nu nfrncunt. Fu m-nm mnrnt, dfunrfcf snmfnm nmfdnnt nlt dnt ncfl sfntnmfnt df frnc. n df n nm !zut. Fn sf furnnu n spntflf pumnlur, sf nscundfnu, uculfnu lumnnn. 'mnrflf nu nprut nnrn! %f nflnu n urul cnsfn cn !nfspnn n urul rfgnnfn df stup. Fu nm snmnt mnn lun Mnchnfl pf nrnul mfu. % nu-n fnf frnc, nu put s-n fnc nncn un ru. Fu tnnm ncfst lucru n frnm plnn df ndf df. Nun mnn n!fm nf!unf df tnnf, n spus Mnchnfl. )f n !rut s spun unrf cu ncfnst nfnrmnnf( 0n ncfst cmnn frnu n mnrfn mn urntntf surdu-mun n hnndncnpnn. Mnn f,nstnu n cupnn hnndncnpnn mnntnln, prnntrf ncftnn cn!n mungulunzn. Mungulunsmul fstf df fnpt, c unn dnn gfnf, cnrf fstf rspunztunrf pfntru stnnnlnrfn cflulflur, sf mpnrtf df duu urn, nn c n luc s f,nstf dunr duu nstffl df gfnf, f,nst trfn. 'nmfnnn nutrn df tnnn nu nnnlnznt ncfst dfffct curpurnl pn n cfl mnn mnc dftnlnu. Fn tnu cu f,nctntntf, c fstf !urnn df gfnn duuzfcn n unu, dfunrfcf ncfnst nunl n prnmnt numflf ."rnsumnf 41/. Nnc u nlt mutnlnnf .fr rust/ nr spunf unmfnnn nutrn df tnnn. Nh, dnr dnc nr cfrcftn tut ntt df ntfnt cnuzn spnrntunl, ntuncn puntf c nr n ungf fn ln un rfzultnt. Fu cfl punn nu m !d cn u mutnlnt /fr rust/. )mnnul frn cundus df mncuf cntulncf, dnn urdnnul frnncnscnn, nnr ncfstfn lucunn dunr ln cn!n mftrn dfprtnrf ntr-u mnstnrf. *f mnstnrf npnrnnfn u nnsfrnc mnnunnt, cnrf nrtn cn mnnnnturn cntrfdnlfn nnruc, pf cnrf fu nm !zut-u mprfun cu tnt n urn. )u tuntf c pf dnn nfnr prfn dfstul df dfrpnnt, frn n nntfrnur ntr-u stnrf dfstul df nun. 'n mnrf numr df sfnnn ucup lucul df pf zndul f,tfrnur, tn!nnul rutund frn dumnnnt df pncturn, nlf crur culurn nlndf n mntf du!fdfnu c nu nu mnn trfnunt s supurtf df mult tnmp u rfstnurnrf. "utul frn ncrcnt cu urnnmfntf sculptntf, nnr drngustfn sf putfn snmfn pur n snmplu nc, prnn cnrf n fust cunstrunt ncfnst nnsfrnc ntr-u !rfmf, undf mnn f,nstn tnmp, undf *umnfzfu nu frn u fngur sfcundnr, undf Fl frn df fnpt cfntrul !nfnn. 'ndf mnrf mn urntntf n tnmpulun n-n fust dfdncnt $un, undf cnsn %n ntrfcfn nc cflflnltf cnsf n frumusff n mnfstrnf n nu dnn cnuzn utnlntnn n snmplntnn n fnn urncrfn culnnf n fust nfznt n umnr. *nr trfnun s fn fust u !rfmf, n cnrf dumnnn frncn. &ncturnlf pf pfrfn n pf tn!nn lsnu lnmpfdf s sf nflfng ncfst lucru. Frnu stpnntf df mnrflf .*umnfzfu fulgfrtur/, cnrf prfn cu tunt putfrfn %n n cu utnlf %nlf df ngfrn mnn dfgrnn cn un cumnndnnt df lupt, cnrf frn prfgtnt, s nruncf sprf n fn pr nn n nnd pf cfn nfcrfdnncnun. *f pf chnpul multur sfnnn sf putfn !fdfn ncfst fnpt. *nr duu fngurn prfnu plnnf df drngustf, nn cum fstf df fnpt fnnnn lun *umnfzfu- Mnrnn n npustulul Nunn. &f chnpurnlf lur nu sf !fdfn nncn u trstur df frnc. )rucfn dnn ncpfrfn nltnrulun, sun cnrf fn ngfnunchnnu, strlucfn pfstf tuntf. Ntuncn cnd sunrflf dnmnnfnn strlucfn prnn ffrfnstr, lumnnn ntr-u culunrf nurnf n strlucfn ln ffl cn sunrflf pn n cflf mnn ndfprtntf culurn. )hnnr n 7rnstus nsun strlucfn. Fl nu ntrnn cn .murt/ pf crucf, nn cum sf puntf !fdfn dfsfurn. )urpul $un puntf c n fust nfnsuflfnt, dnr Fl strlucfn. Fl n fust ctngturul, Fl n n!nns munrtfn, ndnc munrtfn spnrntunl, nf-n flnnfrnt cu tutul df $ucnffr n n df!fnnt un pud sprf "ntl. Nrtnstul prfn s fn tnut tuntf ncfstfn. )n ntr-u cnrtf sf putfn cntn n ncfst Nnsus. Fl fmnnn u putfrf n u sngurnn, nn cum fu nu nm mnn ntlnnt nn cf!n pn ncum. Nncnudnt nu nm !zut fu n ncfnst nnsfrnc !rfu umnr. Frn df pnrc nr fn fust 7rnstus prfzfnt n prfn pnrc, c pf tun cnrf sf rugnu nncn n ndncfn n !nnrnnnlf %nlf. "unurnlf nrgnntnn dnr tutun mun nlf urgnn mfcnnncf nnruc, cnrf n fn nu n trfnunt s fnf rfstnurnt, nccfntun ncfst fffct n !r fn prc u stnrf nprunpf cfrfnsc. Nncn un tun nf frn prfn tnrf, nncn unul prfn dfplnsnt, nncn un sunft nf ln luculun lun nu dfrnn n slu nn. *rgstus n nlnd sf mncnu ncfstf sunftf prnn ncpfrfn, cnrf susnnfn cu furmn sn !nnrnnnlf n lf rutun fn. )hnnr n cunstrucnn nu n putut s sf cunstrunnsc dnn grffnl. Mnftrnn df cunstrucnf nu tunt prunnnnl ncfstf lucrurn, fn frnu nntrudun n lumfn !nnrnnnlur n n nrmunnfn. Nncn un cul nu dnstrugfn !nnrnnnlf rugcnunnn. Furmn frn ntt df pfrffct cn u mnu. %f nsfmnnu !nnrnnnlf nrmunncf, cu cflf cnrf lf-nm trnt fu dfsurn cu Mnchnfl. Nncnundf nu nm fust fu pf pmnt mnn ffrncnt dfct n ncfnst nnsfrnc. )u tutul nltffl frn n cmnn. Muln frnu ncun urnn df umnrf, cnrf sf nnfnu dup fn cn lnpnturnlf n n nsufnu zn n nunptf. %cfnn frn ct sf puntf df grunznnc. Fu frnm funrtf spfrnnt dnn ncfnst cnuz, dfunrfcf pn ncum fu nu nm mnn putut unsfr!n nstffl df lucrurn. &n ncum nm putut dunr s snmt, dnc un um fmnnn !nnrnnn nunf snu rflf. Ncum trfnunn s rfcunusc, c dfsurn frnu ncfstf umnrf, cnrf schnmnnu !nnrnnnlf. )u ct mnn

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multf frnu n urul unun um, cu ntt mnn mult m snmfnm rfspnns df fl, cu ntt mnn tnrf m nnmfrnu !nnrnnnlf snlf, cu tuntf c umnrflf nu prfnu nncnudnt c !ur s m ntncf pf mnnf. 'mnrflf prfnu, c nncn nu sf nntfrfsfnz df mnnf. Multf dnn sururn frnu drguf, dnr f,nstnu dunr duu, cnrf m-nu nccfptnt pf mnnf ntru tutul, nn cum n fcut-u surn Nfnfdnctn. Ncfstf duu sururn frnu n flf lnnfrf df nstffl df umnrf. +nnrnnnlf lur frnu dfschnsf n purf. Nculu undf frnu flf, rspndfnu lnnntfn n pncfn. )hnnr n cupnnn, cnrf frnu tut tnmpul nflnnntnn, rfncnunnu ln ncfstf !nnrnnn. 0n prfzfnn lur nu prfn f,nstn cfnrt snu nfnflfgfrn, flf lf nmflnurnu df n df ln ncfput. Nu n susnnfnu nncnudnt drfptntfn, flf nu trfnunnu s fnf n!nngtunrf ntr-u cfnrt, putfnu s sf rftrng umnlf, fr s pnnrd n fnn lur nsun fnn. Frnu ntt df tnrn n snnf, c nu mnn lf frn nfcfsnr nnmnc dnn f,tfrnur. )u tnmpul, cnd fu putfnm df n s m unt mnn ndnc n nnmnlf lur, tnnm n mutn!ulNdnc n nntfrnurul lur nrdfn u lumnn, cnrf strlucfn pfstf tut nuntrul. Ncfn lumnn frn nsun 7rnstus. Flf snu prfdnt cu tutul n ncfn lumnn, nu prnmnt-u fr fzntrn. &rnn fnptul c ful pruprnul , pruprnnlf lur durnnf lfnu nnunt, putfn s strlucfnsc ntt df tnrf ncfnst lumnn. Flf nu rfnunnt ln tutul, nu mnn frnu prnnsf df nnmnc. Nnnnn, mnrcmnntfn, mncnrfn, prfstngnul, fnnmn, durnnf lumftn, lf tuntf lf-nu dnt drumul n prnn ncfnstn nu ctngnt flf cu mult mnn mult. Flf n!fnu !unf s sf tupfnsc cu fnnnn ncflfn lumnnn. Flf nu mnn trfnunnu s cuntrulfzf sfntnmfntflf df ur, furnf n suprnrf. Ncfstf sfntnmfntf nncn nu mnn f,nstnu n flf, nu mnn gsfnu nnmnc, n cnrf s punt lucun. Nn nu df!fnnt ncfstf duu surf nsun drngustfn. $nnntfn ndnc, nntfrnunr n sngurnnn frnu dfstul sprn nn, flf nu mnn n!fnu nf!unf df nltcf!n n frnu lnnfrf prnn ncfnstn, s drunnsc tutul, s fmnnf fr ntrfruprf drngustfn lur. Ndf!rntn drngustf nu fstf cn u lumnnrf, cnrf sf cunsum n sf sncrnfnc. $umnnn drngustfn strlucftf prnn drunrf dunr mnn tnrf. *f!nnf cn un sunrf cnrf nu sf stnngf nncnudnt, cnrf crftf tut tnmpul n df!nnf mnn strlucntur, sf hrnftf dnn lumnnn !fnnc, dnn sunrflf df !fcn n lun *umnfzfu. *rngustfn ncfstur surf nu sf rftrgfn nncn df ln cfn, cf trfnunnu s trnnsc cu nttfn umnrf n urul lur. Nu sf rftrgfnu df lng ncftnn. Nu trfnunnu s sf npfrf n nntfrnur, flf putfnu nnsunrnf ncflf ngrfsnunn n putfnu s lf trnnsfurmf n drngustf. n df fnfcnrf dnt sf cutrfmurnu ncflf umnrf, n pnfrdfnu fchnlnnrul n pncnu n ndncurn snu frnu dntf ln u pnrtf. Mn urntntfn dnntrf cflflnltf surf frnu n flf drguf n prnftfnunsf. Frnu tut tnmpul prfgtntf cn s n utf n s nlnnf. N df!fnnt slu nn lur, s nnn grn df nun, n nuu nu nf lnpsfn nnsulut nnmnc. Flf fcfnu tutul cf putfnu. *nr frn dnfncnl pfntru flf, s fnf tunt znun drguf. 'nflf frnu cfl punn mnn nnnf prutf ntf. %pnnul lur df fnfrgnf rmnfn cfl punn stnnnl. Ngrfsnunfn snu suprnrfn sf uprfn nculu cn ntr-u uglnnd, dnr nu frnu schnmnntf n drngustf, cn rmnfnu cn u fnfrgnf nfgntn! n ncpfrf. *nr mn urntntfn dnntrf ncflf surf nu n!fnu ncfnst prutfcnf. )mpul lur df fnfrgnf nu frn stnnnl, frn cn u tun df mnnn, cnrf n!fn u gnur. 'mnrflf nnsurnfnu tutul cu mnrf puft. %f putfn !fdfn tut tnmpul un ru df fnfrgnf, cnrf cn un curdun umnnlncnl spnrntunl sf ntnndfn prnn ncpfrf. n nu numnn pruprnnlf umnrf frnu prfzfntf cn nntf mncn !nmpnrn, n cflf nlf cupnnnlur sttfnu n nnsurnfnu tutul cu mnrf puft. Flf prfnu s crfnsc n prfnu s df!nn cum!n mnn ngrfsn!f, mnn !nn n ncfpfnu s trncnsfzf cupnnn n mnn tnrf. Nn sf nfnnnn u sntunnf pnrndu,, c n urul unfn surf nmnnnlf frn dunr nflnnntf, cfnrt n nn!ndnf. Ncflf surf frnu .mncntf/ df mfsfrnn lur! 0n ndf!rntul sfns nl cu!ntulun! *nc cun!n n sf nn tut tnmpul fnfrgnn, trfnunf s df!nn unusnt. Ncfstf surf frnu cn nntf lumnrn. n flf fmnnnu lumnn, cldur, dnr sf prpdfnu prnn ncfnstn! Flf nu nu prnmnt n snnf nc lumnnn !fnnc, cnrf pruducf fr pnuz fnfrgnf nuu. $f lnpftf ncrfdfrfn pfntru ncfnstn. $umnnn puntf s-u prnmfnsc dunr ncfln, cnrf n rfnunnt cu tutul ln snnf, cnrf n dnt drumul ln tut cf fstf mntfrnnl. n ncfst nct df munc pruprnf, nfcfsnt mult curn n ncrfdfrf. *nr ntuncn df!nnf dnn crfdnn cununtfrf. Fu crfd n *umnfzfu df!nnf Fu tnu, c "u f,ntn. Ncfstn fstf pnsul cfl mnn nmpurtnnt. Nncunftunrfn, cnrf nchndf ncfn u, fstf frncn! Frncn, s rfnunn ln tutul, pfntru c nu sf tnf, c mnn trznu nu stnn pur n snmplu n pustnu, snngur n prsnt. Frncn, s rfnunn ln pruprnul tu Fu, pfntru c nu sf tnf, cf sf prnmftf n schnmn. Frncn, s rfnunn ln !nznnnlul mntfrnnl, pfntru c nu fstf df ncrfdfrf cf!n cf nu sf !fdf, spnrntunlul, dfunrfcf nu sf puntf !fdfn. Frncn, c nu !n f,nstn tutun un *umnfzfu! Ncfnstn fstf rscrucfn nmpurtnnt n f,nstfnfn nunstrf. Ntuncn cnd nun nm n uns ln u, nu nf mnn puntf n utn nnmfnn. Nun nnnf, n dunr nun, putfm n trfnunf s dfschndfm ncfn ncunftunrf. Fnfcnrf, cnrf cnut, fstf cundus pn nncn, fnfcnrf, cnrf cfrf, nu trfnunf s mfnrg snngur ncfst drum. *nr ncfn nchunftunrf, trfnunf s-u dfschnd snngur. Fr n utur! Fl nsun trfnunf s-n n!nng tfnmn. Fl trfnunf s spun- *n, fu crfd, fu tnu, c "u f,ntn! Fu tnu c "u f,ntn n fu tnu c "u ftn funrtf nun. Fu tnu! Nu, pfntru c tf-nm !zut, nu, pfntru fnptul c mn-nn nrtnt mnnunnn, nu, pfntru c "u nu mn-nn lsnt prnntr-un mnrncul u nlt nlfgfrf. Nu - fu tnu ncfnstn pur n snmplu, pfntru c snmt, c "u trfnunf s f,ntn, pfntru c fu snmt drngustfn pf cnrf u fmnnn "u. Fu tnu ncfnstn pur n snmplu, n fu tf nunfsc *umnfzfulf! Frncn fstf cfl mnn mnrf nlnnt n lun %ntnnn. Fl u mfnnnf dup putfrnlf snlf, ccn un cnrf fstf nchns dnn ncfnst cnuz, fstf df fnpt punrtn sprf lnnfrtntf, cnrf lns n urmn sn pf !fcn mprnn lun %ntnnn. Ntuncn cnd un sf nchndf n urmn tn, nu mnn nrf fl nncn u putfrf, ncnnflf snlf sunt dunr nrfnlf. Ncfln, cnrf st n fnn unn, fstf cuprnns mnn nc u dnt uur df fl n fstf dnn nuu trns punn n ndncurn. )nd nn trfcut df ncfn u, ntuncn nn rfunt. Muln stnu nnn ntrfgn n fnn ncflfn un. Fn sunt dfstul df putfrnncn, s sf ffrfnsc df ntncurnlf lun %ntnnn, dnr fn nu nu curn ul, s dfschnd ncunftunrfn. $f fstf frnc s rfnunf ln .fgu-ul/ lur, pf cnrf l-nu nprnt cu grn n cnrf lf-n ndus n uchnn lumnn cnnstf n sln!. Fn sf tfm, pfntru c nu put crfdf, c ndf!rntn putfrf sf nfl n duh - trupul sf !fstf ftf n nn n cn!n nnn. *fznmgnn n dfspncnn n nntfrnurul lur sf nturc fn dnn drum, pfsc pf trfptf n us, n cnut ffrncnrfn

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n sngurnnn mntfrnnl n nu nf!unf ntuncn ndfsfurn df funrtf mult tnmp, pn cf fn n ung nnrn ln prngul duhulun. Fn sf nsfnmn cu u lumnnrf, cnrf nu sf lns nprnns, dnn prncnnn frncnn, c fn sf dnstrugf nstffl. Numnn - ln cf fulusftf fn ntuncn( Fn sf nsfnmn cu u smn df rsnd, cnrf nu sf lns pus n pmnt, pfntru c fn trfnunf ntuncn s rfnunf ln nndfntntntfn fn. *nr tucmnn numnn prnn ncfnstn puntf fn s nduc rundf ultfrnunrf, cnrf punrt !nnn fn mnn dfpnrtf, n cnrf fn puntf s trnnsc spnrntunl mnn dfpnrtf. $n cf fstf fn nltffl df fulus( Fn puntf s sf nn nc cn!n nnn, sf ufnlftf, putrfzftf n munrf ntuncn. Ncfnst murnrf urmfnz, cf-n drfpt, mnn muln nnn mnn trznu, dfct dnc fn nr fn sfmnnt, dnr ncfnst murnrf fstf dffnnntn!. 0ntr-un cnz nducf munrtfn fn !nn nuu ln n!fnl, n cfllnlt cnz fstf fn munrt. %ururnlf ncfstur duu grupurn n lunu putfrfn lur dnn rugcnunf. 2ugcnunfn fstf furmn f,tfrnunr, cnrf fncf pusnnnl cunfctnrfn nntfrnunr cu lumnnn dnn ncfputurn n lun *umnfzfu. Fu putfnm !fdfn ndfsfn, cum uscnlnnnlf rugcnunnn l nfurnu pf dfplnn pf cfl cnrf sf rugn, sf punfnu prutfctur n urul lun. )um flf ptrund trupul pf dfplnn. 'scnlnnnlf nnltf nlf unfn rugcnunn pnsnunntf, cnrf !nnf ntr-ndf!r df ln nnnm, put s trnnsfurmf n sus uscnlnnnlf unsf nlf trupulun ntr-u sffr mult mnn nnlt, .sf lf ndfprtfzf/. 2ugcnunfn curftf uscnlnnn pruprnf, nn nct umul fstf n stnrf, s prfnn fnfrgnn nnlt, curnt n lun *umnfzfu. Fstf f,nct cn n ln rndnuu. 'n npnrnt df rndnu prust nu puntf nnnf dnstnngf frfc!fnflf dnstnnctf, sunt tutdfnunn sunftf sfcundnrf n sunftf df dfrnn df fn. Nntrfngn .murdrnf/ fstf prflunt n nnrn rfdnt. 2ugcnunfn fstf fnltrul df dfsprnrf. )u ct mnn nntfnsn!, cu ct mnn umnl, cu ct mnn plnn df drngustf fstf fn, cu ntt mnn nnnf funcnunfnz fl, cu ct mnn mult .murdrnf/ ndfprtfnz fl prnn fnltru, cu ntt mnn curnt n prfnuns fstf fnfrgnn, pf cnrf u lns fl s trfnc. )t df muln sf mulumfsc cu murdrnn! n sf mnr ntuncn, df cf .muturul/ lur nu funcnunfnz cum trfnunf, df cf sf nlnnf fl cuntnnuu n sf uprftf, df cf trfnunf fn cuntnnuu s mfnrg n .ntflnfrul df rfpnrnnn/, pfntru n-l punf nnrn n funcnunf. Funrtf rfpfdf nm rfcunscut fu, cf nnnfcu!ntnrf fstf rugcnunfn pfntru ncfnn, cnrf crfd n ncfnstn smfrnn n plnnn df ncrfdfrf. n cupnnn, n crur sntunnf frn cfn mnn rfn, nu df!fnnt n tnmpul rugcnunnn cfl mnn ndfsfn funrtf lnnntnn. 'scnlnnn $un n pnrnlnznt umnrflf. Flf mfrgfnu cu tnmpul cn fnnnf f,tfnuntf ln !nctnmflf lur, dn, flf trfnunnu ndfsfn s sf dfprtfzf pf dfplnn. 0n nnsfrncn ncfnstn n mnstnrnn n-nm !zut fu nncnudnt umnrf n cuntrnrnu cu nltf nnsfrncn pf cnrf lf cunutfnm. Furmn fn, fngurnlf fn, nmngnnnlf, nrmunnn, cldurn n prutfcnn fn, pf cnrf fn lf fmnnn, furmn u uscnlnnf ntt df curnt n cumprnmnt - fn frn pfntru umnrf df nfptruns. ' rugcnunf ntr-u nstffl df mprf urnmf fstf nc cu mult mnn ffncnfnt, n sf nmulftf putfnnnl nc u dnt, dnc muln sf rung mprfun. ' uscnlnnf nn df nmfns trfcf pur n snmplu prnn nzulnturul, cnrf sf nfl ntrf um n *umnfzfu, curfntul puntf s curg lnnfr. 'n .fnur df fmunf/ sf ducf pf spntf n us. Ncfnstn fstf fnfrgnn cnrf sf rf!nrs n nun prnn culunnn !frtfnrnl, ncfnstn fstf hrnnn duhu!nncfnsc, cnrf nlnmfntfnz cfntrflf nunstrf df fnfrgnf. $n hrnnn fnznc pfntru trupul nustru tnf ncfnstn fnfcnrf- cu ct mnn curnt fstf hrnnn, cu ct mnn punnf sunstnnf df dffurn cunnnf fn, cu ct mnn punn .murdrnf/, cu ntt mnn nun, cu ntt mnn df mnn mnrf !nlunrf fstf fn. "ut nn stnu lucrurnlf n cu .hrnnn duhu!nncfnsc/. Numnn c ncfnstn fstf mult mnn nmpurtnnt pfntru sntntf n pfntru cnpncntntfn df rnndnmfnt, dfct hrnnn trupfnsc. *f cf sf mulumfsc nncn nn df muln cu .murdrnn/( F,nstnu n unflf sururn, cnrf frnu tut tnmpul prust dnspusf, ntrtntf n nunntunrf df cfnrt n fr drngustf. )n mgnrn df crnt ducfnu flf umnrflf lur cu flf. )fl mnn ru frn cnzul ln ndmnnnstrntunrf. Frn u snngur mnsc ntunfcnt, cnrf fnfrnfn nculu n ntfptn, s-n ncurn fzf nnrn !nctnmflf sprf .fnptf/ nun. Ncfstf umnrf nu sunt ntr-ndf!r n stnrf, s nfptunnsc snngurf fnptflf lur rflf. Flf nu nf!unf df cnnf!n, cnrf fncf ncfnstn pfntru flf. "untf mncnlf gfluznn n nntrngn, luptflf sfcrftf pfntru putfrf, dumnnn dfschns n ngrfsnunfn, ur, furnf, mnnf, mnncnun n dnstrugfrf sfr!fsc ncfstur umnrf pfntru sturnrfn snmurnlur lur dfgfnfrntf. Flf sf sntnsfnc n lcumnn !nctnmfn lur n u ndfnmn nfstulf sprf tuntf pntnmnlf n !ncnnlf, nlcul, lcumnf df sn!urnrf, sf,unlntntf n tuntf !nrnnnnlf, dfpfndfn df drugurn n df tnnlftf, tuntf ncfstfn sunt lucrurn, cnrf trnnsfurm fnfrgnn curnt *umnfzfnfnsc n fnfrgnf nfgntn!, dnstrugtunrf. Nu unsfr!, nndnr, ncftn unmfnn df luc, cum fn nu rfnunnt ln lnnfrtntfn lur, cum fn s-nu fcut scln!n - df nun !unf u mnngf df uc nlf putfrnlur rulun( *nc fn nr putfn !fdfn, cum ncfstf umnrf sf nucur df fnfcnrf ncnunf rfunt, lur lf-nr fn ru dnn cnuzn scrnfn! )nnstf n rfnumf, dup ncfstf lucrurn sf strdunftf nstzn ntrfngn lumf, stpnnrf pfstf ct sf puntf df muln nlnn. $n ncfnstn nu nu cfn mnn muln nncn mcnr putfrf pfstf fn nnn. Nuturfnlnznrfn fstf mnrfn df!nz! Ncfnstn sf cnut pfstf tut, n snngurtntf, n dnscutfc, n rn strnnf - nu ln snnf nsun. )um put fu nndnr s m nuturfnlnzfz, dnc funcnunfz cn un runut n urmfz cumnntf tuturur nntrngnlur nlf putfrnlur rulun( Nnmfnn nu lf fstf nfn uturnt lsnt prnd! Fnfcnrf puntf s sf mputrn!fnsc! Nrmflf sunt !unn n rugcnunfn - n ngfrul mfu, cnrf mfrgf tcut nlturn df mnnf n ntfnpt numnn fnptul, cn fu s-n dnu n sfrnt frul !nfnn mflf lun n mn, cn fl s m punt ndrumn n cunducf - nu n scln!ngnf, cum prftnnd ntt df muln nnt ucurnturn, nu- n lnnfrtntf! Numnn c lnnfrtntfn nu nsfnmn, s pun fncf urncf !rfn tu. $nnfrtntfn nsfnmn s pun fncf tutul, cf fstf putrn!nt. +unnn nunstr fstf mult prfn tnrf nnflufnnt dnn tuntf prnlf pusnnnlf. "untf uscnlnnnlf nlf cflurlnln unmfnn n cflf nlf putfrnlur rulun u nnflufnfnz. *f-nnnn cnd nun !um prflun !unn lun *umnfzfu, suntfm nun ntr-ndf!r lnnfrn. Fl pusfd snngurn !unn lnnfr, nfnnflufnnt df tun cfnlnln, n fnfcnrf fstf nstffl cu fl, cnrf fstf dnspus, s nduptf !unn $un. n sururnlf ncfstun ultnm grup sf rugnu, tut nn cn n cflflnltf. 0n f,tfrnur nu frn nncn u dnffrfn df rfmnrcnt. *nr ct df nnnf, c cfn mnn muln nu sf put untn n nnnm! Fstf df nfnchnpunt, ln cf ffl df lucrurn sunt unnn n stnrf s sf gndfnsc pf lng rugcnunf. Nmnrcmnntfn curnt puntf s nscund unflf lucrurn# nmpurtnnt fstf ns, cum nrnt stnrfn pf dfdfsunt.

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3 Ncfnstn n fust dfcn nmprf urnmfn mfn nuu pfntru tnmpul urmtur. Fu frnm nnnf ntrfnnut, sururnlf n ddfnu ntr-ndf!r tunt snlnnn. 'nn dnntrf flf m-n n!nt chnnr s n cntfsc. Fn putfn funrtf ndnc s sf trnnspun n nntfrnurul mfu n n unsfr!nt rfpfdf, c fu nr trfnun s fnu n stnrf df ncfnstn. Fu nm n n!nt ncfnstn funrtf rfpfdf, numnn c fu n!fnm tut tnmpul nf!unf df cnnf!n, cnrf s-mn ntunrc pngnnnlf, fnnndc pfntru nn cf!n nu frnu mnnnlf mflf n stnrf. *nr nun frnm u mnrf cumunnntntf, undf fnfcnrf l n utn pf cfllnlt, nn df nnnf pf ct putfn. N fust u mnrf nnugnrf pfntru mnnf. Fu nm unsfr!nt ncun, c multf lucrurn mn frnu pf dfplnn strnnf. *nc nm n!ut pn ncum df n dfstulf ucnznn, s m n! n rndnrf, ntuncn fu trfnunn ncum ntr-ndf!r s nnsul!fsc un curs df mnftrnn. *f fnfcnrf dnt, cnd fu tfrmnnnsfm df cntnt u pngnn, trfnunn fu s ntfpt, pn !fnfn cnnf!n, cnrf mn nturcfn pngnnn. Fu n!fnm, cf-n drfpt, u sunfrnf, cu cnrf m putfnm fncf unsfr!nt, dnr fu nu !runnm n nncn un cnz s-n tnrnnnzfz pf cfnlnln n u fulusfnm numnn n cnzul df strnct nfcfsntntf. Nn nm ntfptnt fu tucmnn df fnfcnrf dnt rndtunrf, pn cf !fnfn cnnf!n, chnnr dnc frn ct sf puntf df nntfrfsnnt# n pfntru mnnf frn tutul nntfrfsnnt. *nr fu tnnm n fnptul, c frn u mnlustn!nrf nfnt dnn cumun, s nm !unf s nnsul!fsc un nsfmfnfn curs nntfnsn! n rndnrf. Fstf cn ln tuntf cflflnltf. Nttn tnmp ct tf nfln nuntru n trfnunf s tf ustfnftn, sunt multf lucrurn snmntf cn fnnnd suprtunrf. *nc ns nn trfcut n nn rfzul!nt u prunlfm, ftn nucurus, c nn nnrunt-u, c nn putut s rfzntn, pfntru n fn mnn nugnt cu u f,pfrnfn. n cu smfrfnnn n mfrs ln ncfput nc funrtf grfu. M custn mult n!nngfrf df snnf, s m lns nfnt, mnrcnt n hrnnt df sururn strnnf, s nccfpt nfn uturnrfn mfn. Funrtf grfu n fust ntuncn, cnd fu cunstntnm ln unflf, c flf fcfnu ncfnstn numnn cu snl, c nstn npnrnnfn, cf-n drfpt, df muncn lur, c sf scrnfnu ns df mnnf. Ncfnstn u puntf unsfr!n df nltffl fnfcnrf. %crnn fstf un funrtf nntfns sfntnmfnt. Ncfnstn nu sf lns nscuns, n nu fstf nf!unf df multf, s pun snmn ncfst sfntnmfnt, n fr s fnn !nznunnr. )hnnr dnc ncfrcnrfn fstf nntfprnns, s u nscunzn n f,tfrnur, ncfnstn fufnz cfl mnn ndfsfn. Nu fstf frumus s snmn, c nlnn sf scrnfsc df tnnf. Ncfnstn fstf nn df umnlntur. *nr cfn mnn muln nu sunt df!nn df ncfst lucru. Fn sunt prnzunnfrn nn sfntnmfntflur lur. )nnf puntf, unrf, s snr pfstf umnrn sn( N fust grfu pfntru mnnf, n nsfmfnfn sntunnn s nu m gndfsc- tu pun, cf-n drfpt, s tf scrnftn df mnnf, n fu trfnunf s m prfdnu nfn uturnt nf, dnr duhu!nncfsc m nflu fu tutun mult pfstf tnnf. $uptf lungn trfnunn fu s n cu mnnf nsumn. *nr, nsfrnt, nznutnsfm fu tutun. N fust !ncturnn cfn mnn grfn, dnr cfn mnn nmpurtnnt. )nnf sf nnl pf snnf, sf !n smfrn. Nnsus n-n spus ncfnstn, pfntru n-n nlnntn pf cfn mncn n srncn. Nu - Fl nf-n pus cu ncfnstn unn dnntrf chfnlf sprf mprnn cfrurnlur n mn. Nngmfnrf duhu!nncfnsc fstf cfl mnn ru dumnn pf ncfnst cnlf. Fu nsumn nm trnt ncfnstn. Fstf u f,pfrnfn, pf cnrf fnfcnrf trfnunf s-u fnc udnt, df cnrf nu fstf nnmfnn scutnt. Ncfnstn fstf unn dnntrf cflf mnn nmpurtnntf f,pfrnfnf, dnr dnn pcntf n unn, pf cnrf dfsfurn u unn nnrn funrtf uur. Nngmfnrfn fstf rdncnnn n tut rul. %ntnn n czut, pfntru c fl n df!fnnt ngmfnt. Nngmfnrfn trngf dup snnf nn!ndnn. )nnf fstf ngmfnt, cnrf, dfcn, fstf df prfrfn, c s-nr nfln mnn sus dfct nlnn, ncfln gfnfrfnz nutumntnc sfntnmfntf df nn!ndnf fn df ncfnn, cnrf ucup un pust mnn nnlt. )ffn cf urmfnz fstf ntuncn frncn, frncn, df n fn dfscupfrnt. )nnf l nn!ndnnz pf nltul dnn cnuzn puznnfn snlf sucnnlf, mnnnnn, nnnnlur, ffmfnn lun, n fstf cfl mnn ndfsfn tfnm - chnnr dnc n nncuntnfnt -, cfllnlt nr putfn unsfr!n ncfst lucru n s-nr putfn nprn fn df ncfst lucru. n cflunlnlt n fstf tfnm, c fl puntf snmn uscnlnnnlf nm!ndnfn, n pfntru c fl nng df sfnm, c cf!n nmfnnntur l ntmpnn. Nstffl n fstf ntuncn fnfcrunn frnc fn df cfllnlt, n frncn fstf cfl mnn dnstrugtur sfntnmfnt, cnrf f,nst ntr-ndf!r. Nn cum urn l puntf dnstrugf pf cfllnlt, tut nn tf dnstrugf frncn pf tnnf nsun. &fntru multf nuln fstf frncn cnuzn. n nnfnrctul mnucnrdnc n cnncfrul n nu rdcnnn cfl mnn ndfsfn n frnc. Ncfnstn sf nfl ns ndfsfn nn df ndnc nrdcnnnt n fstf df n nn df .unnnunt/, c fn nu mnn fstf rfcunuscut cn fnnnd nstffl. "untf cflflnltf, n strfsul, ncrcrn nlf mfdnulun nmnnnnt n nn mnn dfpnrtf, sunt numnn fncturn ndnnunnln. Flf mrfsc rnscul, nu sunt ns nncnudnt dfclnnnturul. *f cf sunt mnnngfrnn lu!nn nn df dfs df nnfnrctul df nnnm( %ngur, fn lucrfnz mult, sunt tut tnmpul n hfctnc, sf nfl sun prfsnunf. *nr n nstffl df sntunnn sunt n muln nlnn. Numnn c - lur lf fstf frnc, s nu fnf prfn slnnn pfntru prfsnunfn f,frcntnt, s fufzf n s fnf dnn nfnr dnn slu n. *f cf nu mnn nlfs dfntntnn cutn cfn mnn mnrf df nnfnrcturn df nnnm n nprunpf cfn mnn mnc mfdnf n nnnlur df !nn( Nncn fn nu lucr mnn mult dfct nlnn. %ngur, fn sf nfl sun mpu!rnrfn psnhnc, s fnf nf!unn s-n fnc fnfcrunn trfnnn cum trfnunf, dnr ncfnstn lf mfrgf n multur nlturn tut nn. Nu, fn lucrfnz funrtf nprunpf df pncnfnt - n ncfstunn n fstf tfnm! n ncfnst frnc sf trnnsmntf nsuprn lur, dfunrfcf cfn mnn punnn tnu, cum tf pun prutf n ffncnfnt fn df ncfst lucru. *f cf sf mnuln!fsc nn df muln df cnncfr( Fn sf tfm! Frnc fn df rnzf, frnc fn df sunstnnf nucn!f, frnc fn df ntrnff, fn df n fn snngur, frnc fn df cfnlnln, frnc fn df snnf nsun, frnc fn df tuntf. Fn sf tfm df n fncf cnncfr, n ncfnstn fstf cfn mnn sngur mftud, s tf mnuln!ftn ntr-ndf!r df ncfnst nunl. *f cf ! ngrn urnn nfrncunn df znun df mnnf. Nu mnn n!fn !un nndnr nncn u ncrfdfrf( 'ntnn-! ln psrn, ln nnnmnlf, ln nntur! *nc gnzfln nr fn un um, fn n-nr putfn cu sngurnn s-n scnpf lfulun. Frncn n-nr pnrnlnzn pncnunrflf. *nc pnsrfn nr fn un um, fl nr trfnun s munr df funmf. *f nttn grn , cu cf puntf fl mnnf s sf hrnfnsc, n-nr putfn fl nstzn s znunrf nfnr, pfntru n prnndf nnsfctf. Frncn n d nrnpn!, sun un pru!frn cunuscut. Ncfnstn nu fstf frnc, cn cuntrnrnul ncfstfnn- !unnn df n suprn!nfun. Frncn mpnfdncn numnn, fn nncnudnt nu nnrnpfnz.

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n frncn dfclnnfnz ntuncn tuntf cflflnltf sfntnmfntf nfgntn!f. *nc fu m nspnmnt df cnnf!n, df!nn fu cu tnmpul furnus nsuprn lun, ncfp s-l ursc. n cffn cf frnc mn prncnnunftf mnf, ncfnstn n-u fnc lun cu urn mfn. n cfllnlt lu!ftf nnpun! Fl sf npr. Fl nu tnf tutun, c fl n ncfput df n prnmul ntnc cu frncn lun, c urn n fust numnn rfncnn nsuprn ncfstun lucru. Fl sf snmtf n drfpt. n dnc cnnf!n tf lu!ftf pf unrnzul drfpt, d-n n cfl stng sprf lu!nrf. $n ncfnstn sf rfffr ncfnst prupuznnf. Nu s tf lnn ntut pn ln munrtf, cum muln nrunnzfnz, schnmnul duhu!nncfsc df lu!nturn trfnunf s-l sfrftn. % nu rspunzn ln ur cu ur, cn s-u prfnfn, s-u trnnsfurmn n s-u trmnn nnpun cn drngustf. Ntuncn pun tu lnnntnt s nn n cfllnlt unrnz. Nu mnn !nnf nnmnc nnpun. Nunftf-n dumnnnn tn! - nu dnn cnuzn c tu trfnunf s tf ucn nnnn unrnn! "u nncn nu trfnunf s-n nunftn n cnlntntfn lur df dumnnn, cn n cnlntntfn lur cn unmfnn, cnrf sunt tut nn cupnnn lun *umnfzfu cn tnnf, tut nn df prfnun. Nncftfnz df n-n ur, ncfpf s-n nunftn, n urn lur sf !n f!npurn n nnmnc. *nc fn nu mnn fstf nnt, sf mnstunf fn pf snnf nsun cn un fuc, cnrf nu mnn prnmftf hrnn. n, dfudnt, fn nu mnn sunt dumnnnn tn. Grffnln fstf ncffn, c nun nf gndnm n prfn scurtf durntf df tnmp. *nc fu ncftfz nstzn, s-l mnn ursc pf !fcnnul mfu, pf cnrf l-nm cunsndfrnt nnn df-n rndul cn fnnnd dumnnul mfu, ntuncn fl ntr-ndf!r cu grfu m !n mnrnn mnnf. *nr puntf put fu n ctf!n lunn, prunnnnl chnnr n cn!n nnn s dnnlughfz cu fl nnrn nurmnl. &untf c sf dfz!ult dup nnn df znlf chnnr u mnc prnftfnnf dnn ncfnstn. Numnn c - s prunfzn u sptmn df drngustf, n dnc nu rfuftf ntuncn, n-l lnn pf .ntrnul prust/ nnrn nnlt - s !nd fl tutun snngur, undf n ungf fl fr gfnfruzntntfn mfn - ncfnstn nu funcnunfnz! *rngustfn ndf!rnt nu punf cundnnn, nncn ultnmntf. Fn fstf pur n snmplu prfzfnt. Nntutdfnunn! n nsturnn fstf plnn df f,fmplf df ncfst gfn. Mnn df crn s-nr putfn scrnf dfsprf ncfst sunnfct. Ghnndn fstf ntr-ndf!r f,fmplul cfl mnn cunuscut n cfl mnn nmpuntur. Fr nncn u !nulfn, cu nfsfrnt drngustf n rndnrf n-n cundus fl pupurul su n nfnrn nsuprnrnn. Nfgnnnstnn n mfrs pf cfnlnlt cnlf. Ncum fstf un sffrt dnn pupulnnf munrt snu f,nlnt. n rfstul( Fnfcnrf fstf nsfmnnt df nfnurucnrf, df-nnnn gsftn u fnmnlnf fr munrtf, rnnrf, nunl, srncnf, funmftf! % nu lupn, nu nsfnmn- s rfnunn, s nu tf npfrn. Ghnndn n nrtnt ncfnstn. % n nunftn pf !rmnnn tn nu nsfnmn- s tf lnn sun ugnt fr nprnrf! n nrmflf nunnrnn n ut, dnr flf nu rnfsc! Ncfnstn fstf dnffrfnn. %mfrfnnn fstf u cundnnf pfntru ncfst lucru n cfrtntudnnfn nnsulut, c nnmfnn nu-mn puntf lun nnmnc, pfntru c duhul mfu fstf dunr nftrfctur n nn!ulnfrnnnl. n tuntf cflflnltf sunt pf dfplnn nfnmpurtnntf.

3 Nrugnnn frn ncfputul. Nrugnnn nu sf puntf f,frcntn mult !rfmf! Multf zncnlf cunnn cu mult mnn mult ndf!r, dfct putfm nun s crfdfm. )u tnmpul nm n!nt fu, s rmn n ntuncn umnl, cnnd frn grfu, ntuncn cnd frn !urnn df .umnlnnnf/ ndf!rntf. n fu sunt tutun nucuruns dnn ncfst mutn!, pfntru c nm putut fu s trfc prnn ncfnst cunl. Mn s-nu dfschns pfrspfctn!f nun spnrntunlf, ln cnrf n mud nurmnl nncn nu sf !nsfnz. 'ltnmn unr m-n ntrfnnt Mnchnfl"f-nn gndnt tu !rfudnt, cum nm putut nun s dnscutm( Nprunpf ntutdfnunn nn putut s mn snmn prfzfnn, ctfudnt nn putut s m !fzn snu n ddfnn sfnmn df fnptul c sunt nprunpf. "u nn fust dfschns n prn!nnn mfn, n fu nm putut dfsfurn s-n trnnsnmt un gnd. *nr ntuncn, cnd frnn ntr-ndf!r cu mnnf( &un s-n nmnntftn mprf urrnlf( *n, ln ncfst fnpt fu nncn nu m-nm gndnt, fu ntutdfnunn m-nm trfznt n nrnflf tntlun mfu! *nr - cf n!fn fl df-n fncf cu tuntf ncfstfn( Fl n-n dnt ncfnst pusnnnlntntf. *rngustfn sn pfntru tnnf, fn n fust funrtf putfrnnc. Fn n-n pfrmns u stnrf df !nnrnnf, n cnrf n-n fust pusnnnl, s prsftn curpul tu n s n ungn ln nn!flul nustru. Fr cu!nt fu l-nm prn!nt. %pnrntul fstf ntr-ndf!r un prnnzunnfr nl curpulun, dnr cnd dunrmf ncfstn, puntf spnrntul s-l prsfnsc n puntf nntrn n nn znsn sffr nstrnl. %ffrn nstrnl fstf sffrn spnrntunl, cnrf n fstf curpulun fnznc cfl mnn nprupnnt, ndnc prnn nltf cu!nntf, cfl mnn us nn!fl spnrntunl. *uhul nu dunrmf nncnudnt. $un nu-n trfnunf u pnuz df udnhn cn n curpulun. Nunptf fstf n mnn nctn!, ntuncn cnd puntf s fug dnn strmtunrfn curpulun. Nn sunt n fnfcnrf nunptf muln unmfnn .pf drum/. *unr c dnn mutn!f prfcnsf fstf cunutnnn nchns, n df rfgul nu mnn f,nst nmnntnrn dnmnnfnn. +nsflf nr putfn f,plncn multf, dnc umfnnrfn nu nr fn nn df unrn. Multf !nsf nu sunt hnlucnnnnn n nu pru!nn dnn suncuntnfnt. %unt df fnpt mnn mult nntf trnrn, cnrf sunt ndusf df spnrnt dnn sffrn nstrnl, n cnrf - df multf urn dunr dfzurdunntf n frngmfntntf - n gsfsc drumul n cuntnfntul nustru. Muln nu !nsnt rudf cnrf nu dfcfdnt snu cunutnnnf, ln cnrf fn nncn nu s-nu mnn gndnt! %nu muln nu prnmnt n !ns drumurn dfsfnntf, dup cnrf fn nu cutnt mult !rfmf, snu rfzul!rn pfntru prunlfmf, ln cnrf fn lucrnu! Funrtf multf nn!fnnn sf fnc n .!ns/. *fcn cf rul s nnn ntuncn suncuntnfntul( %nu cn nu !nsnt df n df ntmplrn, cnrf s-nu ndf!frnt n scurt tnmp( )f rul s nnn ntuncn tutun suncuntnfntul( 0n sffrn nstrnl sf tfrg nnrnfrflf ntrf prfzfnt, !nntur snu trfcut. +un nu ! putfn nmngnnn, dfunrfcf tnmpul fstf un fnctur df nftrfcut pf pmnt, n nnmfnn nu-n puntf fncf fn. *nr ncfst lucru fstf !nlnnnl dunr pfntru mntfrnf. &fntru duh nu f,nst tnmp n tfrmfnul !ustru. ' sfcund pf pmnt puntf nsfmnn pfntru un duh u !fnncnf, n u

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mnf df nnn pmntftn put trfcf pfntru fl ntr-u clnp. *unr mntfrnn dfpnndf df tnmp. )hnnr n !nnturul nu fstf u cunncndfn ntt df mnrf, nn cum muln crfd. %f ntmpl tutul dup nnumntf lfgn n sf puntf sucutn nprunpf f,nct dnn trfcut. Nu cu crnlf df tnrut snu prnn cntnrfn mnnnn, cu tuntf c nnumntf nndncnn sf put gsn. )cn spnrntul f!ndfnfnz curpul, nn sfmnflf spnrntunlf cnrf sunt dfsfurn ffncnfntf pfntru !nntur, sf gsfsc pf curp. 0n pnrtf puntf fncf multf nfnrmnnn !nlnnnlf nstrulugnn. Nu nstrulugnn pfntru ntrfngn lumf. Fn fstf !nlnnnl cfl mult pfntru rndurnlf df nrf nlf unur nlustrntf. Nu, nstrulugnn cusmnc, cnrf puntf nflfgf nsfmnrnlf spnrntunlf nlf stflflur! %tflflf nu u mnrf nnflufn nsuprn !unstr. Numnn c nncn nu fstf nn cn pfstf tut- cf nu puntf !fdfn snu trn umul, nu crfdf. ) lunn nrf u nnflufn, ncfst lucru fstf df nfcuntfstnt. Ncfst lucru l puntf !fdfn fnfcnrf ln !nlurnlf mrnn. )hnnr n fnptul c f,nst muln dfpfndfnn df lun, fstf df nfcuntfstnt. *fcn, dnc u mnc lun rfuftf, s pruduc nstffl df schnmnrn, s nu nnn unrf nncn un fffct stflflf nfnmngnnnt df mnrn nlf unn!frsulun nsuprn pmntulun( Nnnfnflfs, lunn fstf mnn nprunpf# dnr stflflf nu nn u mrnmf mnrf, c n ln u dnstnn mnrf nu tutun nnflufn. )hnnr ncum nu ncfput s gndfnsc nltffl nstrulugnn !utrn. Nntrf tnmp sunt cunuscutf cnncn sutf df stflf nn znsf Funsnrf, dnn cnrf cfl mnn mnc, dup spusflf unmfnnlur df tnnn df ln NN%N, fstf mnn mnrf dfct cflf u sut df mnlnnrdf df stflf dnn snstfmul !ustru sulnr! &un tu s-n nchnpun nn cf!n( *nr ncfstfn sunt nc pnftrf mncn n unn!frsul nfmrgnnnt. )flf mnn mnrn stflf nu u mrnmf df mnn multf trnlnunnf df nnn lumnn! %-n nchnpun nn cf!n, fstf chnnr n pfntru nun funrtf grfu. n ncfstfn s nu nnn !rfu nnflufn, dnc mncn lun fstf n stnrf, s rndncf cu cn!n mftrn mnrfn urnn( $n mn urntntfn lumnn fstf grfnt ncfputul gndnrnn. Nu fstf nn, c m ntfnpt un !nntur ffrncnt, dunr c sunt dnn grffnl nscut n zudnn nnn snu cfnlnlt. Fstf nprunpf nn!frs. Nnmfnn nu sf nntf dnn grffnl. "untf nntfrnlf sunt cnlculntf cu f,nctntntf. n ntuncn ! nntfn sun u nnumnt cunstflnnf df stflf, dfunrfcf nnflufnn lur uffr f,nct ncfn nmprf urnrf df !nn, cnrf fstf nfcfsnr pfntru crftfrfn !unstr n cnrf ! puntf n utn. *nc cnnf!n nrf cununtfn ncfstfn n fstf n stnrf, s cntfnsc cu .ndf!rnt/ stflflf, puntf nflfgf multf mnn nnnf. *fcn - pfntru nun fstf cu mult mnn uur. )cn tutul cf n fust, n tutul, cf rfnfsf, fstf scrns n crnnlf spnrntunlf. )hnnr n fnptflf n nnflufnflf nlf cflun mnn ndfprtnt trfcut, dfsprf cnrf df f,fmplu nu put dn nncn u nnfurmnnf stflflf. "utun rmnf pfntru prfzncfrfn !nnturulun unflf lucrurn cnrf nu put fn tnutf, dnn cnuzn c ncfstfn nu df-n fncf cu pruprnn !unn lnnfr n fnfcrunn. Ncfstf crn spnrntunlf - n rfnlntntf nu sunt nntf crn, cn dunr furmf df fnfrgnf, cnrf put fn cntntf df cfl cnrf durftf - plutfsc prnn tuntf sffrflf spnrntunlf. *nr dunr n cfn mnn nnlt sffr fstf cumplft nnfurmnnn. 0n sffrn nstrnl f,nst dunr frngmfntf. )unutnnf n ndf!rurn nnltf n spnrntunlf nu sf put gsn nculu. 0n ncfn sffr sf put ntlnn df f,fmplu muln dfcfdnn, cnrf nu nu rfunt s urcf ntr-u sffr mnn nnlt. *urnnflf n pntnmnlf lur, df cnrf nu scnp nncn nculu, gndnrfn lur mntfrnnl n crfdnnn lur slnn n mpnfdnc. %ffrn nstrnl fstf nc lucul df unc n multur spnrntf nfcurntf n rflf, n chnnr n mn urntntfn unmfnnlur sf mnc nunptf prnn ncfn sffr. ) df multf urn nu nfsf nnmnc nntflngfnt dnn tuntf ncfstfn, tf pun gndn tu cu sngurnn. *nr multf cumnrf n nu nncn rdcnnnlf, ccn dfsfurn sf ntmpl lucrurn grunznncf n ncfnst sffr spnrntunl cfn mnn uns. n ncfstf lucrurn n crnufsc drumul n cuntnfnt sun furm df cumnrf. 0n ncfnst sffr sf unt mn urntntfn dnn !zturnn !utrn. Fn sfnmn cu nntf unmfnn cnrf nu !d dfluc nnnf, cnrf nu punrt uchflnrn n ncfnrc, s dfscrnf un pfnsn ntnns. &umnn n tufnurnlf dnn fn lf mnn put !fdfn, puntf c n cunturul munnnlur. *nr nncnudnt mnnunntflf pdurn n munnn frumun, flurnlf n nnnmflflf n fundnl. Fn unsfr! dunr frnturn n crfd c nu !zut tutul. Fn nccfpt tutul, fr s fnf n stnrf, s rfcununsc cf fstf ndf!r snu mnncnun. Fn crfd c tutul fstf ndf!rnt, dnn cffn cf !d. Nndncnn pf plnn mntfrnnl snu pfrsunnl sf put gsn ctf!n. n ctf!n fnptf cf sf !ur ntmpln. Muln !zturn nu succfs, dnr rnrfurn ntuncn, cnd fstf !urnn df lucrurn spnrntunlf. *unr frnturn sf put ndugn. &f 7rnstus snu pf ngfrnn %n nu n !n gsn nnmfnn nncn . Nprunpf n tuntf fdnnflf spnrntunlf sf ntmpl n ncfnst sffr. *uhurn unsf, n pnrtf n spnrntf rflf snu nn znsf duhurn mnncnnunsf, cnrf sf nucur rfgftf, ntuncn cnd cnnf!n n crfdf, sf dnu dfsfurn cn fnnnd spnrntf nnltf, snu chnnr ngfrn mrfn. Nnnfnflfs, sf mnn gsfsc n ctf!n ndf!rurn, ccn u nnumnt cunutnn pusfd n fn, n fn put, dnc fstf !urnn df cfn dfcfdnn, s spun lucrurn unmntunrf dnn trfcut. *unr - sunrflf nu l-nu !zut fn. Fn trfnunf s sf mulumfnsc cu ntunfrncul snu cu dunr punn lumnn. n prnn ncfnstn df!nnf !zul un uc df rulft. &f lng ncfnstn fstf ncfst ffl df spnrntnsm pfrnculus. )fn mnn muln lucrfnz fr scut spnrntunl. *nr un mfdnu trfnunf s sf dfschnd cu tutul, pfntru n stnnnln un cuntncut cu sffrn spnrntunl, fl sf d pur n snmplu pf mnn putfrnn ntunfcntf. )n nu pltnt ncfst lucru cu .!nnn/. *uhul lur s-n ntunfcnt, n fn nu !fgftnt n cflf mnn srncf cundnnn, df multf urn n cmnnf psnhntrncf. *nr nu dunr n sumn snu cn mfdnu sf puntf n ungf ln sffrflf spnrntunlf. )fl mnn nun drum fstf mfdntnnn. 0n mfdntnnf sf put nchndf snmurnlf n fnn lumnn. Mfdntnnn ndnc sf nsfnmn n f,tfrnur cu sumnul, dnr cuntnnnn nu fstf nchns. Mfdntnnn nu fstf pur n snmplu u fdfrf, nn cum sf spunf dfsfurn. Mfdntnnn nu fstf nnmnc pnsn!, cn un lucru nctn!, u pnrf nctn! sprf *umnfzfu, cnrf fstf dunr ntuncn pusnnnl, dnc snmurnlf f,tfrnunrf sf rftrng dnn lumfn f,tfrnunr. )nd urfchfn f,tfrnunr nu mnn nudf nnmnc, ntuncn sf puntf dfz!ultn urfchfn nntfrnunr, tut nn sf puntf ntmpln cu uchnul tu nntfrnur n cu snmul tu pfntru !nnrnnnlf lumnn spnrntunlf. "u tf ntrfnn df n df ln ncfput, df cf n f,plnc fu tuntf ncfstfn. Nnt, mfdntnnn fstf drumul tu. "u nn n uns df n funrtf dfpnrtf. "u n-nn n!nns sfntnmfntflf, nn n!nt rndnrfn, drngustfn n umnlnnn. "u n-nn tfrmnnnt cu nnnf tnmpul df n!nrf, ncum sf tfrmnn n nnnn tn df ucfnncnf. Fu !rfnu s tf n! ncum, cum pun s n ungn prnn mfdntnnf ln sffrflf spnrntunlf n cum pun lucrn spnrntunl. )cn n clnpn df fn nu ftn nc n stnrf, s mfrgn snngur drumul pn ln mnnf.

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%-n ndrfpn gndurnlf sprf *umnfzfu n sprf mnnf, ncfst lucru ftn unnnunt s-l fncn. *nr cffn cf tu nc nu tnn, su cf nu nn !rut s crfzn cu ndf!rnt- tutul, cf n nmngnnfzn, fstf ndf!rnt! )u ct mnn mult tf gndftn, cu ct mnn mult f,frsfzn, cu ct mnn nntfsn! n nmngnnfzn, cu ntt mnn ndf!rnt n mnn ffncnfnt fstf ncfst lucru. Fstf un cnpntul mnrf. Fu !rfnu s ncfrc, s-n f,plnc nf cf fstf cfl mnn nmpurtnnt. 4 $n ncfput frn )u!ntul n )u!ntul frn ln *umnfzfu n *umnfzfu frn )u!ntul. Ncfstn frn ntru ncfput ln *umnfzfu. "untf prnn Fl s-nu fcut# n fr Fl nnmnc nu s-n fcut dnn cf s-n fcut. Nntru Fl frn !nn n !nnn frn lumnnn unmfnnlur. 'nul dnntrf cfn mnn mnrn mnstncn, Nunn F!nnghflnstul, ncfpf nstffl F!nnghflnn sn. n nsfmnrn sf gsfsc ln cflf mnn multf rflngnn n scrnpturnlf lur sfnntf. "rducturnn !utrn nn Nnnlfn nu sf put ns ntr-ndf!r mulumn cu cffn, cf fn cntfsc. Nununfn )u!nt - lugus, cum sf numftf fn n grfnc - n fust schnmnnt n sfns. Ncfnstn nr fn un snnunnm pfntru 7rnstus! )n du!nd pfntru ncfst lucru fstf prupuznnn, cnrf st scrns ctf!n rndurn mnn us- n )u!ntul s-n fcut trup n s-n sllunt ntrf nun. Nnnfnflfs c nncn fstf !urnn dfsprf 7rnstus, dnr dnn ncfnst cnuz 7rnstus nu fstf )u!ntul. "rfnunf numnn s sf mfnrg nnpun ln tf,tul grfcfsc dnn ncfputurn. Nunn n-n scrns dunr F!nnghflnn sn n Grfcnn pfntru flf!nn sn grfcn, n cnnf nr !fnn ntr-ndf!r pf ndffn, c ntuncn cnd fl scrnf un tf,t df n!tur, s fulusfnsc prnntrf, cn !nrnnnf pfntru 7rnstus, nununfn )u!ntul( Ncfnstn tutun n-u puntf nnmfnn prfsupunf n sfrnus! Nu! Grfcfscul lugus, pf cnrf l fulusftf Nunn nncn, nrf, cf-n drfpt, n sfmnnfncnnn df )u!ntul, nntfrprftnrfn lun df nnz fstf ns putfrfn gndurnlur! Numnn c grfcnn nu fust n ncfnst prn!nn cf!n mnn dfpnrtf dfct umul mudfrn, culturnznt. Fn tnnu c gndurnlf n cu!nntflf npnrnn strns lnulnlt. )u!ntul fstf ntr-ndf!r numnn fncfrfn nuznt n gndulun. 0n cffn cf prn!ftf rfnlntntfn lun, nu sf schnmn nnsulut nnmnc! Nunn !rfn dfcn s spun- putfrfn gndurnlur fstf tutul! Fn sf nfl ln ncfput, n fr fn n-nr fn nnmnc! "untf lf-n fcut *umnfzfu numnn prnn putfrfn %n n gndurnlur! n n Nnsus 7rnstus n df!fnnt !nznnnl ncfnst putfrf pfntru nun- n )u!ntul s-n fcut trup. Ncfnstn nu nsfnmn ns nnmnc nltcf!n, dfct c nun tun, tunt fpturn lun *umnfzfu, suntfm numnn gndurnlf %nlf. Fl nf-n gndnt numnn pf nun, n cu tuntf nstfn suntfm nun tutun rfnlntntf. Ncfnstn fstf ntrndf!r n n!turn n nprunpf tuntf rflngnnlf, n n nnsfrncnn crftnnf. n ncfpnd df nncn, nncn nu fstf funrtf grfu, s gsftn cnlfn cfn curfct! Nntrf gndurnlf lun *umnfzfu n gndurnlf unun ngfr snu um nu f,nst nncn u dnffrfn sfmnnfncntn!! Numnn ncffn, c gndurnlf lun *umnfzfu sunt nfmrgnnnt df mult mnn putfrnncf dfct cflf nlf mflf snu nlf tnlf. &rnn ncfnstn put flf ntr-ndf!r s n nfptunnsc cu nn df mult mnn mult, .s mplnnfnsc/. n, n cuntrnrnul ncfstun fnpt, !n putfn n un um slnn cu gndurnlf snlf slnnf s nfptunnsc numnn punn. Ncfnstn nsfnmn ns n fnptul c, cu ct mnn mult n nculfzn duhul tu, cu ct mnn tnrf df!nnf duhul tu, cu ntt mnn mult !fn putfn tu nfptun. n ntuncn n!fm df n cf nf-nm prupus! Nu rmnf dfcn nnmnc nltcf!n df fcut, dfct s nntrfnfzn duhul n s-l ntrftn. Ndf!rntf schnmnrn, !nlurn cnrf rmn put fn numnn prnn duh crfntf. "unt mntfrnn fstf trfctunrf, ncfst fnpt n fstf tutun fnfcrunn zn df zn ndus n fnn uchnlur! Nu-n !n fn nf prfn grfu, pfntru c tu ftn funrtf nnnf prfgtnt! &rfnn ln tnnf fnfrgnf n rugcnunf, lns-u pf ncfnstn s curg n gndurnlf tnlf n gndftf-tf ntuncn nntfnsn! ln cffn, cf trfnunf s df!nn rfnlntntf. *nc tu !rfn s n ungn ln mnnf, ntuncn nmngnnfnz-n nntfnsn! pfrsunnn mfn n ncfnst mprf urnmf, nn df lnmpfdf, pn cf !n df!fnn ncfnstn rfnlntntf. n ntuncn ftn tu nncn! Nu cu trupul tu nnnfnflfs. *f ncfln nu fstf nnmfnn nntfrfsnt. "u, ncfstn fstf duhul tu! Fu nm spus udnt- Nun mnn n!fm nf!unf df tnnf. "u nu n-nn putut f,plncn pn ncum ncfst lucru. tnn tu ncum ncfnstn( Ncun tf !un n!n n nstn. Nnsus 7rnstus s tf rfnn n mnlustn!nrfn $un, f nnnf nstn n f,frsfnz hnrnnc n !nnu ncun nnrn. Nstn n fust nprunpf prfn mult dnntr-u dnt. &f mnnf m durfn cnpul. Fu nm n!ut nf!unf df ctf!n znlf, pnn cf nm prflucrnt n nm nflfs tutul. &n dn, dfstul tnmp nm n!ut fu ntr-ndf!r. n n mfrs mnn nnnf, dfct m-nm gndnt fu. Fu fusfsfm dunr df n df mult tnmp unnnunt .s dfcunfctfz/. *nc fu nu !runnm, pur n snmplu nu ngnm nnmnc df sfnm dfsprf cffn, cf sf ntmpln n urul mfu. &fntru mfdnul ncun urtur nl mfu sf nrtn sntunnn nn, df pnrc n durmn, n fl m lsn n pncf. Nncn nu sf mnrn df ncffn nnmfnn, c fu .durmfnm/ dnntr-u dnt u umtntf df zn, frnu dunr numnn funrtf punnn, cnrf sf purtnu cu mnnf nurmnl. Fu !rfnu s spun cu ncfst lucru, c numnn punnn n rflnnn cu mnnf rfncnunnu ntr-un mud tut nn df nnturnl, cn n cum nr n!fn un um sntus n fnn lur. )fn mnn muln sf gndfsc ntutdfnunn, dfunrfcf nu fn un hnndncnpnt n fnn lur, c nr trfnun s fnf pfstf msur df ntfnn, s sf gndfnsc ln tuntf funrtf f,nct, dnn cffn cf fn fnc n spun. *nr ncfnstn nu fstf un lucru nnturnl, n un hnndncnpt !rfn s fnf trntnt tut nn df nurmnl, cn n fnfcnrf nltul. Fl unsfr! fnfcnrf nfsngurnn, fnfcnrf fzntnrf, fnfcnrf nchndfrf n uchnlur n rndncrf dnn umfrn. Fstf df nsfmfnfn u frunrf s crfzn, c un surdu-mut n-nr rfmnrcn nnmnc, numnn pfntru c fl nu puntf nuzn nnmnc. %nu un hnndncnpnt mnntnl, pfntru c fl dunr nu puntf gndn lnmpfdf. Ncfnstn puntf fn, dnr s snmt put tun - n nnumf cfl mnn ndfsfn mult mnn nnnf dfct unul sntus! n fl unsfr! cu ndf!rnt ntr-ndf!r, dnc sf !urnftf nurmnl dfsprf fl snu dnsprfuntur snu cumptnmntur. n fncf nnnf, s fnn trntnt nurmnl. Nndnr, n urncf cnz nu sf cunturnn nnmfnn df nstn. Nstffl putfnm fu s mfdntfz urf ntrfgn. Nncn nu mn-n fust grfu, s m cuncfntrfz un tnmp punn mnn ndflungnt, cu ncfst lucru nm fust fu df n ntr-ndf!r ntutdfnunn unnnunt. Fu mn-nm ndrfptnt gndurnlf nsuprn lun Mnchnfl, ncfrcnm s mn-l nchnpun nntfnsn!. *nc

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putfnm pn ncum s snmt df n ndfsfn n .stnrfn nurmnl/ prfzfnn lun, ntuncn fu cptnm cu fnfcnrf mfdntnnf mnn nprufundnt un cuntnct mnn strns cu fl. Fu putfnm snmn, cum fl n punfn mnn sn pf nrnul mfu, putfnm s-l nud, ctfudnt df n s n !urnfsc cu fl. Fl m ncurn n tut tnmpul nnrn n m ntrfn. Fl frn tutdfnunn df fn, cnd n!fnm nf!unf df fl. Nntr-ndf!r, n durnt mult tnmp, n prugrfsflf mflf frnu mncn, ns flf frnu cunstnntf. n pfntru n f,frsn n rndnrf, n!usfsfm fu dunr df n dfstul tnmp. Nntr-u zn mn-n spus Mnchnfl- Gndftf-tf tutun u dnt ln mnmn tn, dnr rung-tf mnn ntn. Mnmn m !nzntn fnfcnrf n trfnn sptmn, pfntru c drumul ncuncf durn funrtf mult, n dfunrfcf mnmn nu n!fn mnnn, frn n funrtf cumplncnt cu trfnul n nutunuzul n ultnmn pnrtf pf us. Frn ntutdfnunn frumus, cnd fn frn nncn. Fu u nunfnm, n fn m nccfptnsf ntrf tnmp. Nu frn ntr-ndf!r nc u drngustf ndf!rnt, dnr frn prnftfnnf. 0n ultnmul sfrnt df sptmn n fust fn nncn, n !fnnt cn ntutdfnunn n tnmpul dup-nmnfznn, n mncnt cu mnnf, mn-n cntnt cf!n, mn-n pu!fstnt dfsprf frnnn mfn, pn cf n plfcnt ntuncn sfnrn nnrn ncns. Fu m gndfnm df fnpt ndfsfn ln mnmn, dnr nncnudnt nu mn-n !fnnt n gnd, s u nnclud n pf fn n mfdntnnf. Fu nncn nu tnnm nn df lmurnt, df cf trfnunf s m rug nnnntf df nstn. *nr m-nm unnnunt cu fnptul df n urmn nndncnnnlf lun Mnchnfl n nu mn s-n ntmplnt nncnudnt s nu rfufsc. Nstffl nm fcut n df ncfnst dnt, cffn cf fl m sftunsf. Frn !nnfrn dup-nmnnz. Fu m-nm rugnt ndflung, n-nm mulumnt lun *umnfzfu pfntru drngustfn n n uturul, pf cnrf lf prnmfnm mfrfu n m-nm cufundnt ncun n mfdntnnf ndnc. Fu mn-u nchnpunnm ntfnsn! pf mnmn. +nnfrn ln nmnnz, ntuncn !fnfn fn tutdfnunn df!rfmf ncns df ln lucru, mn-n pu!fstnt fn. n ntuncn nm n !zut-u df n. *n, fu nu !nsnm, fu u !fdfnm ntr-ndf!r. Fn dfschnsf punrtn grdnnnn, mfrsfsf n us pf cnlfn scurt pnftrunt n dfschnsf punrtn cnsfn. Fu m ducfnm nlturn nprunpf df fn n m-nm nfznt lng fn pf cnnnpfnun !fchf. Fn trfnunf s fn fust funrtf unusnt, n urncf cnz ndurmnsf fn ncun. Fu nm ncfput s .!urnfsc/ cu fn, ntuncn s-n ntmplnt cf!n cnudnt. 'n .cf!n/ cn un nur df cfn s-n dfsprnt df trupul fn n plutfn n fnn mfn n ncpfrf, prnntr-u sfunr funrtf sunnrf n nrgnntnf lfgnt df trupul fn. Ncfl .cf!n/ n!fn npru,nmntn! nfnnrfn curpulun fn, punn mnn mnrf puntf n nn df gnngn n trnnspnrfnt cn un !l df mtnsf. 'n tnmp scurt nm mnn rmns fu ln fn n putfnm s dnnlughfz cu duhul fn. Ntuncn nm fust fu dnntr-u dnt nnrn n trupul mfu, trfnunn nnrn s m sunurdunfz lnmntrnn lun. *nr fu frnm ffrncnt. &fntru prnmn dnt nm putut s m dfspnrt cuntnfnt df trupul mfu# cf-n drfpt, numnn pfntru un tnmp scurt, dnr nstn nu fcfn nnmnc. Fu tnnm, c nznutnsfm ncfputul. *f n n znun urmtunrf m-n !nzntnt mnmn. Fn n fcusf nn df multf grn n pfntru mnnf. Fn !nsnsf dfsprf mnnf"u tf-nn dus cu mnnf ln plnmnnrf. Nun nm dnscutnt cn duu prnftfnf dfsprf mud n hnnnf n nltf lucrurn nfnmpurtnntf. Nun nf-nm dus n sus pf un drum nnrupt, pnftrus prnntr-u pdurncf mnc dnn pumn cnudnn. Nsfmfnfn pumn fu nu mnn !zusfm nncnudnt. Fn frnu plnnn df strugurn fructf mncn, df un ruu dfschns, cnrf nrtnu cn scuruflf. Fructflf frnu funrtf frumunsf n unnfurmf, n pf fnfcnrf dnntrf flf, cu tuntf c frnu nn df mncn, frn scrns numflf tu n lntfrf nurnn- Nnrnnrn. 2nmurnlf df us frnu prnn grfutntfn lur nduntf ndnc sprf pmnt, nn nct nun putfnm s n ungfm uur ln flf. $n u mlntnn mnc nm pupusnt nun ntuncn n nm mncnt dnn fructflf tnlf. Flf frnu dulcn ln gust n nu n!fnu nncn u pnntr n nncn smnurf. )nd nn !fnnt tu, nu mn-n mfrs funrtf nnnf. Fu frnm unusnt n n punn nulnn! n m ustfnfnm, s nn pnsul cu tnnf. *f-nnnn tfrmnnnsfm fu ns df mncnt dnn fructf, c nm snmnt, cum u mnrf putfrf sf scurgfn n mnnf. Fu nm df!fnnt dnntr-u dnt funrtf uunr, nprunpf nnpundfrnnnl. *nntr-u dnt s-n npustnt un run mnrf df cuufnnf nfgrf nsuprn nunstr n nsuprn pdurncfn, pfntru n mncn fructflf tnlf. Fu nm df!fnnt funrtf nspmntnt, dnr tu tf-nn rugnt pur n snmplu. n ncfnst rugcnunf s-n pus pfstf nun prutfctunrf cn un cluput. Ntuncn nu !fnnt df ln cfr dun !ulturn mrfn, n cu znnfrfturn urtf nu fugnt cuufnnflf df fn. 'nul dnntrf !ulturn n znurnt dnrfct nsprf tnnf, tf-n cuprnns nlnd cu ghfnrflf snlf n tf-n lunt cu fl. "u nn zmnnt ntr-ndf!r n mn-nn fcut nc sfmn cu mnn, dnr fu nu tnnm, dnc nf nu n s-n ntmplnt tutun cf!n. Fu m tfmfnm, c ncfnstn nr putfn nsfmnn nfnurucnrf, df ncffn nm !fnnt fu nmfdnnt nstzn ln tnnf. "cut nm zmnnt fu n snnfmn. Multf !nsf nu nns ln n!fnl dnn suncuntnfnt, mn-n spus Mnchnfl. +nsul n fust u pu!fstf. )unnnutul !nsulun, ncfnstn n fust rfnlntntfn, pf cnrf n culurnt-u suncuntnfntul dunr cu nmngnnn. Frn u frumuns dup- nmnnz df smnt. Mnmn frn funrtf lnnntnt, lumnnnt nntfns df u pncf nntfrnunr. n fn frn sntuns. Mult tnmp nm mnn rmns fu trfnz dup lunrfn df rmns nun df ln fn n nm cugftnt. )um s-n fcut mnmn sntuns( *f undf !fnnsf putfrfn, cnrf n ptruns-u nntfns( ' prfsnmnrf tcut mn-n df!fnnt ncft cuntnfnt. Fu nm !nsnt n ncfnst nunptf dfsprf ffrncnrf n pncf. Fu frnm u pnsrf mnc, uunr n lnnfr, fr grn n. n nstffl m-nm n snmnt fu. 3 *umnncn frn nnsfrncn nfnt dnn cumun df frumus mpudunnt. Frnu rusnlnnlf. %lu nn dn!nn frn funrtf sulfmn. )fn muln mnnnstrnnn, tmnnu, curul nnsfrncfsc cntn u slu n n lntnn. Frn u uscnlnnf npnrtf n nnsfrnc. 2usnlnnlf n-nu fust numnn u dnt pf tnmpul npustulnlur, mn spusf Mnchnfl. Fnfcnrf nn sf rf!nrs duhul lun *umnfzfu dnn nuu pfstf ncfnn, cnrf sunt dnspun, s-l prnmfnsc. Fnfcnrf prfn c snmtf spfcnfncul ncfstfn znlf. $nnntf n pncf frn nculu - n putfrf. &utfrfn unun *umnfzfu nunntur, )nrf u rf!nrs cuntnnuu nsuprn cupnnlur %n n cfrtutudnnfn sngur, c cnd!n n ultnmul !n fn dnspus n n stnrf, s prnmfnsc drngustfn $un. )n df unncfn, fdfnm fu n fn df tut n drfnptn, n fnn prnmflur nncn, n scnunul mfu df nn!nlnd. Fu m lsnm dus df uscnlnnf n df putfrf n m-nm cufundnt n mfsn ul nfnrnn zugr!ntf df

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dfnsuprn mfn- Nnsus l n!nf pf $nzr dnn murn. Mnchnfl mn-n f,plncnt df n u dnt nsfmntntfn ncfstfnn. $nzr n fust prnmul. )nd!n n !n fn n!nnt Nnsus pf tun cfn .murn spnrntunl/, n !n flnnfrn df durnnflf n lcumnnlf lur mntfrnnlf. Fl n !n flnnfrn dnn dfprtnrfn lur fn *umnfzfu, dnn mputmulnrnlf lur n mntfrnf n df tuntf suffrnnflf, cnrf s-nu furmnt prnn cdfrfn df ln *umnfzfu - munrtfn duhu!nncfnsc. Fl n !n n!nn ln u !nn nuu, ln u !nn n urdnnfn *umnfzfnnsc, ln u !nn, cnrf fstf purtnt df cflf nptf nsunrn nlf lun *umnfzfu- drngustf, !unn, rndnrf, sfrnuzntntf, urdnnf, mnlustn!nrf n nflfpcnunf. Ncfnstn fstf n!nfrfn dnn murn, nnumf dnn murnn spnrntunln. "rupul fstf fr !nlunrf, numnn duhul fstf ncfln, cnrf trnftf. Fu m-nm pnfrdut n prn!nrfn ln nfnnrfn zugr!nt. )ulurnlf nu df!fnnt mnn lumnnunsf, mnn !nn, pftfrn df murmnt trnst n cfdnt n fn!urfn unun lnn nlnd df culnnf, pumn n flurn nu nprut n Nnsus mfrgfn nsprf mnnf. Nu nu frn Nnsus, frn Mnchnfl! Fu rfunsfm! *nn pruprnn putfrf! Mnchnfl s-n untnt ln mnnf. Nu, fnrftf cn nu dnn pruprnn putfrf! Nprunpf n fn df!fnnt fu nnrn ncrfzut. Frn putfrfn lun *umnfzfu, cnrf m purtnsf. Fu trfnunn numnn s cuprnnd frnghnn, pf cnrf Fl u nrunc nuu tut mfrfu, n s m lns trns n sus. *nr pfntru prnmn dnt rfunsfm, s cuprnnd ncfnst frnghnf fr n utur strnn. *rngustfn n smfrfnnn m curnsfr nn df mult, m flnnfrnsfr df nnlnst, cnrf nf nchndf nuu n mud nurmnl cnlfn. Fu frnm pfstf msur df ffrncnt. Frn pfntru mnnf, df pnrc n fn pfntru prnmn dnt ntr-ndf!r nncn. Mnchnfl n pnt ln mnnf. Mulumfsc! Fu n mulumfsc nf. 0ncurcnt m-nm untnt n sus ln fl. *n, fu n mulumfsc nf, c n-nn nsunt n!turnlf mflf, c nn fust un nsfmfnfn flf! nsculttur. )t df dfs suntfm nun rfspnnn, lunn n rs! Nngfrn( Ncftnn sunt tutun numnn n pu!fstf! )t df dfs fstf ustfnfnln nunstr zndnrnnc, ct df dfs sunt rfspnnsf ndrumrnlf nunstrf pur n snmplu n !nt! 0n cfl mnn nun cnz suntfm nun nunn pfntru fnptul, df n prf!fnn nccndfntf n s-n pznm pf unmfnn df .lu!nturn nlf dfstnnulun/. *nr ndrumnrf duhu!nncfnsc( Nu, df ncfnstn nu mnn nu nf!unf unmfnnn nstzn. Fn nu df!fnnt nsfnnnnn n rnnunnln. Fn dumnnnu nnturn n tfhnncn. Fn putfnu chnnr s znunrf pf lun. n ntuncn s sf lnsf cundun cn nntf cupnn mncn( Ncfst lucru nu l puntf cfrf nnmfnn ntr-ndf!r. *f nfmrgnnnt mult rndnrf n drngustfn fstf nf!unf, pfntru cn nnn ntrfgn, dn, puntf u !nn ntrfng, c s lucrn n .zndnr/, s rd pf sfnmn tn n s df!nn u fngurnn dnn pu!ftn. *nr n nuu nf mfrgf cn n !uu pf pmnt. )hnnr n cfn mnn mnc ln!nn df!nnf udnt mnrf. 'dnt !n crftf cffn cf sf sfnmn. 0ntr-u nun zn df!nnf smnn plnnt. )nd, ncfst lucru nu dfpnndf df nun. $n ncfst lucru fu nncn nu m-nm gndnt. Nun dnspfrm df n dup scurt tnmp, ntuncn cnd nu sf !fdf succfsul durnt. )f mrfnf trfnunf s f,nstf ntuncn cnd lucrfzn zfcn df nnn, dn, puntf u !nn ntrfng df um, fr succfsul f!ndfnt( Fr n pnfrdf !rfudnt rndnrfn, fr n pnfrdf drngustfn( 'h ct df stupnzn sunt tutun unmfnnn! "u nu trfnunf s dnspfrn, n nntrnt Mnchnfl n gndurnlf mflf. &f pmnt fstf cu mult mnn grfu. )fn mnn muln unmfnn sunt df prfrf, c !nnn sf sfrftf dup munrtf, n tnmp cf nun n!fm !fnncnn n fnn uchnlur. )hnnr n tnmpul nrf u nlt nsfmnnrf pfntru nun. *fsprf ncfst lucru !fn nflfgf n tu n curnd ctf cf!n. *fcn! *nr, ncum, unt-tf punn mprf ur! Fu nu putfnm unsfr!n cf!n dfusfnnt, frn tutul cn df unncfn. &untf c flurnlf nflurfnu cf!n mnn nntfnsn!, puntf c nnrnn n!fn un mnrus mnn tnrf, puntf c psrnlf cntnu mnn mnnunnt. *nr n rfst( Frn mnn mult lumnn dfct nlt dnt. *n nnnfnflfs, frn mnn lumnnnt! n ntuncn fu l-nm !zut. %us pf cfr sttfn sunrflf n mrnmfn sn mrfn. Frn mnn strlucntur dfct mnn df surn pmntftn, n tutun nm putut s m unt dnrfct ln fl dup scurt tnmp. Nu, fu nu m-nm f,prnmnt curfct! %ttfn pur n snmplu pnsn!, pfntru n fmnnn u lumnn, cnrf nu-n npnrnnfn. Nu! Fl frn lumnnn! Fl sf untn ln mnnf! M lumnnn pn n ndncurn - n frn tutun pfstf tut. *n,df ncum nnnntf !n strlucn ntutdfnunn pfntru tnnf. Fstf lumnnn df !fcn, fstf Nnsus 7rnstus, fstf sunrflf %u, cnrf pfntru tnnf nu !n mnn npunf. *nr cum sf puntf, c fu !d sunrflf pfstf tut, fu put s m nturc cum !rfnu, n urncnrf dnrfcnf, n sunrflf fstf tut tnmpul prfzfnt. Nun nm !urnnt df multf urn dfsprf ncfst lucru. 0n lumfn spnrntunl nu f,nst lucrurn, cnrf lf-n crfnt cnnf!n snu cnrf lf-n nfznt, cns, pum, mnnn, flurn snu nnnmnlf - dfunrfcf nu f,nst mntfrnf. &fntru lumfn spnrntunl nu f,nst nncn uchn. 'chnul spnrntunl fstf, chnnr suflftul. "u pun !fdfn dunr cffn, cf fstf n tnnf! Ncum nn tu lumnnn lun Nnsus 7rnstus, nn prnmnt n tnnf drngustfn %n, dfcn prnn urmnrf u pun !fdfn. *nr nnnfnflfs pfstf tut, ccn nu nrf un punct stnnnl pf .cfr/. Fstf n tnnf. n pfstf tut undf ftn tu, fstf n ncfst sunrf. )nnf!n cnrf r!nftf dunr ln lucrurnlf mntfrnnlf, cnrf trnftf dunr pfntru nnnn n pfntru sntnsfncfrfn snmurnlur trupftn, spnrntunlul ncflunn fstf gul. n fl !n putfn !fdfn n lumfn spnrntunl dunr stncn gunlf. Nncn nnrn, nncn u flunrf nu !n putfn !fdfn, dunr frngul n pustnul n gulul n ntunfrncul! )u ct mnn mult drngustfn strngf n fl, cu ntt mnn cnld n mnn prnftfnuns fstf .nnnmn/ sn, dfcn cu ntt mnn cnld n mnn prnftfnuns df!nnf mprf urnrfn sn. Nmprf urnrfn fstf df fnpt u uglnnd n suflftulun! Ncfnstn fstf df fnpt n chfnn sprf rfcununtfrfn .cfrulun n n nndulun/. *umnfzfu nu udfc nncnudnt! Nncnudnt! *rngustfn fstf ntr-ndf!r n stnrf, s nn pf cnnf!n dnn scurt, s trnmnt .lu!nturn df dfstnn/ snu ncfrcrn, dnc flf fulusfsc, s-l n utf s-n schnmnf prfrfn n dnc l n ut s mfnrg un pns mnn dfpnrtf pf drumul spnrntunl. *rngustf mnn fstf n ntuncn, dnc l lu!ftn pf un cupnl pf dfgftf, pfntru n-l scutn df ru, ntuncn cnd ncfnrc pfntru n 9-n unr, s trng df pf sun cnznnul cu np clucutnt. *nr drngustfn nu pfdfpsftf nncnudnt, n n nncn ntr-un cnz pf !fcn. Nu, fnfcnrf sf rspltftf snu sf udfc pf snnf. *rngustfn pf cnrf tu nn strns-u pf pmnt, dftfrmnn stnrfn mprf urrnlur, n cnrf tu tf !fn nfln n lumfn spnrntunl. *rngustfn tf !n cunducf n .cfr/. 'rn ns puntf, cum fstf cnzul n pf pmnt, dfcn n n lumfn

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spnrntunl, s pru!uncf dunr cfnrt n suffrnnf ntr-un pfnsn pustnu fr lumnn n cldur. Ncfstn fstf .nndul/, n n ncfst nnd sf nfl cnnf!n dunr nttn tnmp, ct npnrnnf fl df ncfstn cu gndurnlf snlf. *nc fl fstf df prfrf, c trfnunf s-$ urnsc pf *umnfzfu pf !fcn, ntuncn sf !n nfln fl pf !fcn n ncfnst stnrf, ndnc n ncfl .nnd/. *nr fl nu fstf nruncnt df *umnfzfu nculu, fstf pur n snmplu dfcnznn sn lnnfr! *nc fl sf schnmn n dnc sf ntunrcf n nntfrnurul su sprf drngustf, ntuncn sf !n schnmnn cunfurm lun pfnsn ul cnrf l ncun unr. Ncfnstn fstf lfgfn. n fn nu sf !n schnmnn nncnudnt, nttn tnmp ct !n f,nstn crfnnn. *nc cnnf!n, cnrf dup gndurnlf snlf nr trfnun s fnf n .nnd/, n fstf ndus n cfrurn, fl nu nr putfn supurtn ncfnstn. Fl nu nr putfn supurtn lumnnn, nr fn cfl mnn mnrf chnn pfntru fl, n fl s-nr nruncn n mnrf grnn nnpun n ntunfrnc. Fstf f,nct nn, cn n cum cnnf!n nr n!fn uchnn sfnsnnnln ln lumnn. Fl nu puntf supurtn lumnnn n sf snmtf nnnf dunr n sfmn-ntunfrnc. *nr cu ct mnn mult sf mnuntftf stnrfn sn , cu ntt mnn mult lumnn puntf supurtn fl. *nr !nnn u nu uchnn, n nu lumnnn! *f ncffn pun !fdfn tu ncum pfstf tut lumnnn lun Nnsus 7rnstus. "u nn n uns ncum nn df dfpnrtf, c pun ncfpf s lucrfzn spnrntunl, pun ncfpf s df!nn u unfnlt n lun *umnfzfu pf pmnt. "u tnn ncum, c tutul cf fstf, cf f,nst, n fust crfnt prnn gnd. )hnnr n pmntul n tut cf f,nst pf ncfstn. $n ncfput n fust cu!ntul, gndul, ndnc fnfrgnf curnt, n ncfnstn s-n ndfsnt nn df tnrf, ntt df .grfu/, cn n df!fnnt mntfrnf. &rnn gndurn sf put crfn tuntf, sf put schnmnn tuntf, snu sf put dnstrugf. Gndurnlf trfnunf s fnf dunr funrtf putfrnncf. Ncfn putfrf u prnmftn tu df ln *umnfzfu. *nr prutf fnz-tf, mnn nlfs ntuncn, cnd n prsftn curpul. &n ncum nu fcut nlnn ncfst lucru. Ncum ns trfnunf s-u fncn snngur. &utfrnlf rflf stnu tut tnmpul ln pnd, n ntuncn cnd n nrn !ulnfrnnnlntntf, lu!fsc ntutdfnunn. &rutf fnz-tf df duu urn, n prnmul rnd prnn rugcnunf, dfunrfcf !nnrnnnlf sf nfnz cn un cluput n urul tu. 0n nl dunlfn rnd- gndftf-tf ln u crucf df lumnn, cnrf st n tnnf, cnrf fstf n curpul tu n cnrf strlucftf pn n f,tfrnur. Gndftf-tf nntfnsn! ln ncfnstn, n fn df!nnf ndf!r n lumfn spnrntunl. F-u dnn lumnn clnr n strlucntunrf. Gndftf-tf c rnzflf cnrf fmnn ncfn crucf, nlung tut cf fstf ru n nfgntn!, dnr ln tut cf fstf nun n puzntn! n crunftf drum sprf tnnf. Ncfn lumnn n-u puntf supurtn nncn un spnrnt ru. *fcn ncfnstn n fust, ln cf s-n rfffrnt fl cu cu!nntflf- Nun mnn n!fm nf!unf df tnnf. *fz!ultnrfn mfn frn df n dfstul df n!nnsnt, ncum n!fnm !unf s n ut pf nlnn. Fu frnm nucuruns, ffrncnt n mulumnt. Mnchnfl m-n mnrnnt. Ncum du-tf n drngustfn lun *umnfzfu, fu sunt mfrfu nlturn df tnnf. Gus df tut nm unsfr!nt fu curpul mfu. Fu plutfnm sun nultn ncpfrnn nltnrulun n sn!urnm uurnnn spnrntulun. Muzncn, rugcnunfn, tutul prfn mnn rfnl, mult mnn !nu. Nncn u durfrf, nncn u grn , nncn un trup .grfu/ nu dfrnn n duhul. Fu nm fzntnt, n dfudnt nm tnut, df cf nu n-n fust dnt fnfcrunn ncfst dnr, df cf n mud nurmnl trfnunf luptnt pfntru ncfnstn. )fn mnn muln nu s-nr ntunrcf nnpun! Fn nu nr schnmnn lnrgul n frumusffn spnrntulun cu strmtunrfn n cu suffrnnflf curpulun. *nr dnc nu mnn !ur s sf rfntunrc, sf rupf cnd!n ncfn frnghnf, cnrf mprfunfnz curpul cu duhul. &rnn ncfnstn munrf trupul, n fn nu mnn nu pusnnnlntntfn, s sf dfz!ultf n cuntnnunrf n s trnnsc, cffn, cf fstf cfl mnn nmpurtnnt, n stnrfn cnrf sf nfl fn. Ntuncn cnd fu mnm nflnt dnn nuu n curpul mfu, m-n lu!nt durfrfn dnn plnn. N durnt u !rfmf, pn cnd fu nm ncfput s-u stpnfsc. %lu nn nu s-n tfrmnnnt nc, n ncfnstn nsfmnn, c fu nm .lnpsnt/ cfl mult u umtntf df ur, dnr dup snmurnlf mflf, nm pftrfcurt nlturn df Mnchnfl mnn multf urf. *fcn ncfnstn frn dnffrfnn dnntrf tnmp. Nncftul cu ncftul nm ncfput s nflfg. ' stnrf df ffrncnrf s-n rspndnt n mnnf, nn cum fu nu nm mnn cunuscut-u. Fu nm prnmnt pusnnnlntntfn, s nntru n cuntnct cu lumfn dumnfzfnnsc, n fu nm ncfput, s nunfsc curpul mfu dffurmnt. Fl mn-n uffrnt ncfnst nns. Fr fl nu n fn gsnt cu nttn uurnn ncfst drum. 5 $n mnsn df nmnnz m-n hrnnt Frfd. Frn un nnnt nun, df uptsprzfcf nnn, dnr cu mnntfn unun cupnl df nsf nnn. Frn surdu-mut, n pncnunrflf snlf frnu nfpfnntf, dnr fl frn tut tnmpul prnftfnus, dn puntf c n cumnc. 'nul, cnrf nncnudnt nu sf plngfn. Fl sf ucupn dfsfurn df mnnf, fu frnm cu ntutfnunn cu drng n cumpnnnn sn. &f fl nu-l cunducfnu umnrflf. *fudnt n dnsprut nmngnnfn lun dnn fnn uchnnlur mfn. 'n rfgf sttfn n fnn mfn. Fl fdfn pf un trun df nur, ncun urnt df lnngunturnn, cnrf l !fnfrnu. %nln frn ct sf puntf df frumus nrnn nt. ' mns ffstn! frn nrnn nt, n sfr!nt, tutul frn mnnunnt. Nmngnnnlf sf schnmnnu rfpfdf. Fl prfn s fnf un rfgf ntrn nflfpt n drfpt, tun, cnrf n cfrfnu sfntul, prfnu s fnf mulumnn. Fl trfnunn s fn fust n funrtf dnrnnc, dfunrfcf ntr-u ncpfrf mnrf ln sf ddfn df mncnrf srncnlur n fn prnmfnu hnnnf n nltf lucrurn nmpurtnntf. Fu l !fdfnm cum sf rugn n l !fdfnm mfrgnd ln nnsfrnc. Nnsfrncn frn mnnunnt. Fl sttfn n lu n sn df rfgf n prnmfn cu un zmnft mnlustn! tuntf snlutrnlf slu nturnlur sn. 2ugcnunfn ct n purtnrfn sn nntfrnunr frn .drfnpt/. Fl n utn nnsfrncn dup tuntf putfrnlf snlf n sf mplncn cu tunt fnnnn. *fudnt n nprut un nrnnt, cnrf n stnt nprunpf nf!zut n fundnl. Fl frn snmplu mnrcnt, chnpul su frn ncun urnt df lumnn. Fl n !urnnt- "u ftn un rfgf, pf plncul lun *umnfzfu, nflfpt, drfpt, rndtur n plnn df drngustf. "u nu tf-nn rftrns df ln grfu n nu nn pncnt prnd nspntflur, cnrf !nn u dnt cu putfrfn n cu nugnn. Ncum ftn prfgtnt s n!fn ultnmul n cfl mnn grfu lucru, umnlnnn. Nmngnnnlf n pnfrdfnu culurnlf, n Frfd sttfn dnn nuu n fnn mfn. Fl mn zmnfn n mn-n ngnt n gur u lnngur plnn df snlnt df cnrtufn. Fu putfnm !fdfn prnn fl, putfnm !fdfn spnrntul su n m-nm untnt ntrfntur

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sprf fl. Fl n dnt dnn cnp n n ncfput s zmnfnsc. Ncum tnnm df cf m snmfnm nn df nnnf n prfzfnn lun. Nun nf nsfmnnm funrtf tnrf n .dfstnnul/ pf cnrf l n!fnm. 3 'rmturul tnmp n trfcut rfpfdf. Fu m rugnm mult n m ndncfnm n mfdntnnf. Fu prnmfnm prnn ncfnstn nn df mult putfrf, c dfsfurn nu mnn snmfnm nncn un ffl df durfrf. Funrtf prfcns sf snmfn cum curgfn !nlul df fnfrgnf pfstf cnp n spntf. Frn, df pnrc n fn stnt ntr-un cnrcunt df curfnt. Mulumnrf, ffrncnrf n pncfn s-nu nnstnlnt, pfntru cn s nu m mnn prsfnsc n !fcn. Nprunpf nncnudnt! Fu putfnm snmn curfntul, cnrf curgfn n sus n n us prnn culunnn mfn !frtfnrnl. Fl sf furmn n rurn mnrn, pfntru n df!fnn cfntrf df putfrf n rfzfr!f df fnfrgnf. Fu m gndfnm ln u crucf dnn lumnn strlucntunrf, cnrf frn nlnmfntnt df ncfstf cfntrf. )um mn-n spus Mnchnfl, frn tut tnmpul nculu, cnd fu mn-u nmngnnnm. )u tuntf ncfstfn nm fust surprnns, cnd dup un tnmp nm putut ntr-ndf!r s !d ncfn crucf. *f n df mnn mult !rfmf nm unsfr!nt, c umnrflf cflurlnn, ntuncn cnd !fnfnu sprf mnnf, sf ddfnu nnpun cn n curfntnn n nu putfnu s sf nprupnf mnn tnrf df mnnf. Ncum !fdfnm, c ncfst lucru sf dnturn crucnn. 2nzflf fn mpnngfn umnrflf nnpun. Nn nm putut s mnn unsfr!, c muln cupnn df!fnfnu mnn lnnntnn n nprupnfrfn mfn. )hnnr n surflf, cnrf frnu .nfcumfstnnnlf/, df!fnfnu n nprupnfrfn mfn mult mnn pnnncf. )hnnr n ndmnnnstrntunrfn n rfunt n ultnmn !rfmf, s !urnfnsc cu mnnf snu s-mn ntunrc pngnnnlf crnn mflf. *n, prfn chnnr s-n fnc plcfrf, s stfn un tnmp n nprupnfrfn mfn. Ncum tnnm fu n df cf! 3 Nntr-u dnmnnfn n ncfput Nfn nmnn s fnc u crnz. Fl lu!fn cu cnpul fr ntrfrupfrf zndul, nprunpf c nncn nu putfnn s prn!ftn n ncfn dnrfcnf. Fl n!fn dfsfurn ncfstf crnzf. )urpul nu n frn dfluc dffurmnt n df multf urn prfn s fnf ct sf puntf df nurmnl. F!ndfnt frnu dunr uffrtflf snlf f,ngfrntf df n utur, n tnmp cf frn ntt df nfndfmnntnc, c fnfcnrf, dnc frn pusnnnl, rfnunn ln n uturul lun, n ncfst lucru l fcfn s fnf funrtf trnst. %nmurnlf snlf rfcfpnunnu df fnfcnrf dnt ncfnstn. *f n tut ln ctf!n znlf n!fn ncfstf crnzf. *f unncfn durnu u ur pnn ln duu urf n l unusfnu. *up ncffn sttfn urf n nr n suspnnn, dnr nu prfn s nnn durfrn mnrn. *f dntn ncfnstn frn cn un nnnmnl slnntnc. )n n mncn spnrndun sttfnu nfnumrntf umnrf pf cfnfn sn n l lu!fnu cu pumnn n l nnu. Nnmfnn nu putfn s-l lnnntfnsc, pn cnd dfudnt mn-n trfcut prnn mnntf u ndff. Fu nm nfznt n nntfrnurul lun u crucf df lumnn, mn-nm chnpunt-u ct sf puntf df nntfnsn! n nm nlnmfntnt-u cu gndurnlf mflf cu fnfrgnf. Fu putfnm !fdfn, cum df!fnfn dnn cf n cf mnn mrfn, pn cnd n strlucnt pfstf tut. 'mnrflf sf mputrn!fnu, m nmfnnnnu, dnr nu frnu dfstul df putfrnncf. *f nnnnu n-nu pnfrdut n ultnmul fchnlnnru, n Nfn nmnn n df!fnnt dnn nuu lnnntnt. Fl n fust unusnt n suspnnn ncft. &fntru prnmn unr nm df!fnnt cuntnfnt df putfrfn spnrntulun. n putfrfn, cnrf u n!fnu ncfstf fnnnf, ct n putfrfn pf cnrf u putfnm fulusn mputrn!n lur. 0n f,tfrnur nu n unsfr!nt nnmfnn nnmnc. F!ndfnt frn cfl mult fnptul, c crnzn lun Nfn nmnn s-n tfrmnnnt nn df rfpfdf. Fu nm fust nfschnmnnt n f,tfrnur. *nr m-n custnt mult putfrf. Fu frnm unusnt, n n durnt mnn multf urf, pn cnd nm fust n stnrf, s m umplu cu fnfrgnf prnn cnlfn mfdntnnfn. *f nnnn dup duu znlf mn-nm rf!fnnt cu tutul! &unn nfncfrfztunrf nm fust tutun, ntuncn cnd Mnchnfl mn-n pu!fstnt dfsprf luptn spnrntflur. Ncum ns nm trnt, ct df rfnl fstf ncfnst lupt, cu cf putfrf trfnunf ndus ln nun sfrnt. Fu n-nm mulumnt lun Mnchnfl, c mn-n dnt nmpulsul curfspunztur. Mnn lun prfn s sf pun cu tnndrff pf umrul mfu. Ncfstn n fust ncfputul, mn-n spus. )u tnmpul !fn n!n s lupn, fr s tf unusftn. *nr s nu df!n supfrfncnnl, s-n prn!ftn tut tnmpul n sfrnus! Fu m-nm nucurnt c frn nlturn df mnnf, n nn nm ndurmnt rfpfdf. Frn ntunfrnc n rfcf. &frfnn nfcnulun suntfrnn frnu umfzn. "rfn nrnnn nprunpf dfznrcnn frnu prnnn cu lnnurn df pfrftf. )hnpurnlf lur frnu plnnf df tfrunrf, unulnnnn n nltf ruztunrf lf-nu mncnt df n pncnunrflf. Npru,nmntn! dnn duu n duu sfcundf pncnu strupn df np pf cnpftflf lur dnntr-u fn! cunstrunt pfntru ncfst lucru. Fr ntrfrupfrf! Hnlf ntrfgn! %ptmnn ntrfgn! 'n nrnnt sttfn n fnn lur n zmnfn n dnrfcnn lur. "ut mfrgfn sprf runnnftul cu np, f!ndfnt n!nd nntfnnn s-l uprfnsc, pfntru n sf putfn nucurn dnn nuu, ln sclnpnrfn df spfrnn, cnrf n lumnnnt dnn uchnn fr f,prfsnf, pfntru n fn nlucunt dnn nuu df tfrunrf. *fudnt s-n nturs turnunnrul, nn cn fu s-n put !fdfn dnn plnn fnn. Fu nm znnfrnt df grunz. Frn Nfn nmnn! Mult tnmp n durnt n ncfn nunptf pn cnd fu nm ndurmnt dnn nuu. "ut tnmpul nu nprut dnn nuu ncfstf nmngnnn ngruzntunrf. *f cf( Fu nu putfnm s cfrcftfz ncfnstn n prufunznmf. Nncn un nnnnnl nu fstf cnpnnnl s chnnunf un nltul. Nncn mcnr pnsncn, cnrf sf unc cu unrfcflf, nu fncf ncfnstn dnn plcfrf, cn numnn dnn nnstnnct, pfntru c, cnrnfn fstf mnn dulcf ln gust dup ncffn. $n ncfnstn fstf unrfcflf ns nn df pnrnlnznt, c fl nu mnn snmtf nnmnc. )um puntf un um s nfptunnsc nn cf!n! )um puntf un um s sf nucurf df chnnurnlf nltunn! )f ffl df ndfprtnrf df ln *umnfzfu fstf nfcfsnr pfntru ncfst lucru! *nr *umnfzfu nu rfspnngf pf nnmfnn. Nncn pf ncftn unmfnn. )f ffl df mn luncf sunt nfcfsnrf, pfntru n dfschndf uchnn unur nsfmfnfn unmfnn, pfntru n lf fncf lnmpfdf grffnln fnptfn lur( % nprfcnfz ncfnstn, nu put!

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Numnn un snngur lucru l tnu sngur- Nu sunt nncnudnt pfdfpsf! )hnnr dnc n uchnn nftnuturn n nfncrfzturn nn lumnn nrnt ncfnstn nc funrtf mult nstffl. Nu sunt nncnudnt pfdfpsf, numnn ncurdrn df n utur, cnrf nrnt sprf dnrfcnn curfct, dnc cnnf!n fstf dnspus, s sf cunfurmfzf n s prfnn mfsn ul lur. Nstffl !rfn umul s sf fnc udfctur pfstf *umnfzfu. Fl sf snmtf nlfstfmnt snu cfl punn trntnt nfdrfpt n l n ur dnn cnuzn .pfdfpsfn/ grflf, pf cnrf n pus-u *umnfzfu nsuprn lun. $n ncfnstn numnn c nu fstf fl n stnrf, s !nd nuntntfn nfmrgnnnt n lun *umnfzfu, cnrf n fncf nstffl df-nnnn pusnnnl, s gsfnsc cnlfn curfct n tutun s-n pstrfzf !unnn lun lnnfr. Ncfnstn fstf mnrfn dnfncultntf. *nc n-nr fn !unnn lnnfr, ntuncn nr fn pfntru *umnfzfu un lucru uur, s-l nn pf ncfstn ln Fl ntr-u sfcund, fr suffrnn, fr chnn. *nr Fl nr fn dnstrus cu ncfnstn duhul su lnnfr pfntru tutdfnunn, nr fn fcut u fnnn lnnfr s df!nn un scln!. )nnf fstf n stnrf, s pfnsc pf cnlfn cfn ngust, cnrf ducf prnntrf dfcnznn lnnfr n !unnfn n nndmnsnnnln nnflufnnrf( )nnf puntf nprfcnn ncfnst drumfnf pf muchnf n cnnf puntf s fnc crntnc ln ndrfsn mn luncflur, pf cnrf *umnfzfu lf nng n lupt( *nc unul, crunn fu n ntnnd mnn, pfntru c n czut n np, nu !rfn s cuprnnd ncfnst mn dnn ngmfnrf, ntuncn fu tutun nu sunt df!nn, dnc fl sf lupt cu nnfcul. &fntru unul, cnrf plfnc dfpnrtf, puntf prunnnnl s pnr nn, df pnrc fu l-nm rfspnns. Numnn cfl cnrf st nprunpf puntf s mrturnsfnsc cuntrnrnul. *f cf nu-l crfdf nnmfnn( )upnlul puntf fn suprnt pf mnn, cnrf l trngf rfpfdf n dur dnn fnn mnnnnn cnrf sf nprupnf. ) fl n dnturfnz ncfstfn mnn !nnn, tnf numnn cfl cf !fdf - n cfl crfdnncnus. 3 Nfrn n murnt surn Grncnn. *f un tnmp ndflungnt fusfsf fn nunn!, fr s sf fn plns !rfudnt chnnr numnn punn. Fu tnnm, c fn n!fn durfrn putfrnncf, fu putfnm s-n !d nntfrnurul suffrnnd, cffn cf f,tfrnurul fn nscundfn smfrnt. "ut cf fcfn fn, frn u rugcnunf. "ut cf fcfn fn, fcfn fn pfntru *umnfzfu. Nntutdfnunn sf nfln fn ntr-u lfgtur duhu!nncfnsc cu Fl n n mulumfn pfntru suffrnnn, pf cnrf Fl n-u trnmnsfsf. n ntutdfnunn n!fn fn tnmp, n tutdfnunn gsfn fn cu!nntf nlnnttunrf pfntru fnfcnrf. *f n nnnntf cu u sptmn prf!zusf fn munrtfn fn. 'n ngfr n !fnnt ln fn n n-n spus- +nnu, "ntl tf ntfnpt! Nngfrul n-n mnn prsnt-u n ncfnst sptmn, n prfgtnt-u pfntru !nnn nuu, munrtfn trupulun n .nntfrfn/ duhulun. )u trfn urf nnnntf df munrtfn fn n lunsf fn rmns nun df ln tun, l rugnsf umnl pf prfut pfntru n u spu!fdn. 'ltnmflf fn cu!nntf sunnu cn u ntrnrf prnn urmnt- *rngustfn lun *umnfzfu fstf sfcrftul %u. %fcrftflf nu nu nncnudnt unncfnul s sf nflf pf us, pf strnd. *nr fnfcrunn, cnrf !nnf ln Fl n l rung pfntru ncfstfn, n fncf cunuscutf ncfstf sfcrftf. 2ul n ncunnt un ln cnmfrn $un cu trfn ncunfturn. )hfnlf ln ncfnstn sunt- drngustfn, smfrfnnn n rndnrfn. )u punn tnmp nnnntf df munrtfn fn nu nprut nln dun ngfrn. Fn nu lunt duhul fn df suflft n mn lucul lur n lnu rpnt, ctrf lumnn. ' dnstnn scurt nm putut fu s-n ncumpnnnfz, ntuncn nu dnsprut fn. Ncfnst nlnmf nc n-u putfnm urcn. &nsrfn n fust nnrn lnnfr# nsunt df trfn !ulturn n znurnt fn pn n cfl mnn nnlt cfr. Fn nu sf mnn ngrn fn df cucn munrt, pf cnrf tun u plngfnu. 3 Mnmn frn dfsfurn ln mnnf. *f un tnmp m !nzntn fn nprunpf fnfcnrf spmn. Fu frnm df nsfmfnfn ndfsfn ln fn n duh, !urnfnm mult cu fn, n ddfnm putfrf. Fu putfnm s n nzgunfsc umnrflf, cnrf u chnnunnu. $n ncfput df fnfcnrf dnt dnn nuu. )u tnmpul prfn fffctul s durfzf tut mnn mult, pn cf flf s-nu rftrns ntr-u nun zn pf dfplnn. *rngustfn crfscusf n fn n furmn mprfun cu rugcnunfn u nfurnrf prutfctunrf n urul fn. Nntrndf!r n fust fn tut tnmpul nnrn cunturnnt df ncfstf duhurn rflf, cnrf u nfc fnu cu ntncurnlf lur n cu dunnnlf lfn, dnr s sf stnnnlfnsc nu mnn putfnu flf. n drngustfn tntlun nfptunsf udnt ncflnn lucru n n prucurnsf ndfsfn lnnntf pfntru un tnmp scurt, urf, n cnrf fn frn funrtf ffrnct cu tntn. % nngf df sfnm tuntf ncfstfn nu putfn mnmn. *nr fn snmfn lfgturn, pf cnrf u cunstrunsfm ctrf fn. Fn l-n prflunt ncum pf *umnfzfu n !nnn fn, gsnsf n sfrnt cf!n pncf. *nr trfcutul fn u chnnunn mfrfu. 2fpruurnlf u fcfnu s suffrf. Nntr-u dup nmnnz s-n prnunt fn, plngnd. Fu n-nm fcut nf n tntlun !nnn nn df grfn. Fu nm fust nn df fr drngustf n fgunst )um s put fu s ndrfpt ncfnstn !rfudnt( )u ct df mult drng n-n fn nnut ncum mnmfn un dnscurs lung dfsprf drngustfn lun *umnfzfu, cnrf nu trfnunf nncnudnt s nfrtf, pfntru c fn n-n ncuznt nncnudnt. *nr pfntru ncfst fnpt nu frnm fu n stnrf. )tf!n gndurn nlnnttunrf putfnm fu s-n fnc nflfsf, n ncfnstn mfrgf df n dfstul df grfu. *nr fu tnnm, cf !urnfnm fu cu fn n duh, ncfst lucru durn prunnnnl punn mnn mult, pn cf n pfn n cuntnfntul fn, dnr ntuncn df!fnfn nstn pruprnftntfn fn. Ncfnstn !fnfn ntuncn dnn .nntfrnur/ n putfn df ncffn s fnf nflfns mult mnn rfpfdf dfct gndurn strnnf n duscunn nurmnl. )t df dfs nu n nu unrnn gndurnlf n !un nn!, spusf Mnchnfl u dnt. )fn mnn muln nu put dnstnngf gndurn strnnf df cflf pruprnn. Nngfrul !ustru fstf ncuntnnuu ucupnt cu fnptul, df n ! nntruducf gndurn, cnrf ! nrnt cnlfn cfn ndf!rnt. Ncfnstn fstf cffn, cf fstf ndfsfn numnt cn scrupulf. *nr ct df uur sunt ncfstfn nnrnn nruncntf cu uurnn! 'n ngfr tutun nu nrf putfrfn, s ! unlngf sprf nnnf, fl dunr nu puntf punf !unnn

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!unstr n nfnrn strnn df funcnunf. &f df-u pnrtf uptfsc umnrflf nfncftnt nsuprn !unstr, ! cunfnrm n !ncnnlf n pntnmnlf !unstrf, ! ndfnmn sprf fnptf runnunsf n crnmf, ln cnrf flf sf dfsftfnz ntuncn. *f cf nscult numnn nn df muln cu nun-!unn df flf( Nncn ncfstfn nu sunt tutun gndurnlf lur pruprnn. Fu trfnunf s-n fnu tntlun nfsfrnt df mulumntunrf, c fl n rmns ln mnnf! Mnmn m lunsf nnrn nnpun dnn !nsflf mflf. Fu nu n-n fn putut nnf cu prfrf df ru, dnc fl s-nr fn dus, dnc fl n-nr mnn fn putut supurtn !nnn cu ncfnst ffmfnf ncpnnt, fr drngustf. *nr fl frn ncfln, cnrf mn-n prfgtnt cnlfn cu drngustfn lun. Fr fl n-n fn gsnt cnlfn nnpun ln *umnfzfu. Fu nm n !nsnt tut tnmpul nnrn dfsprf tntn, n fl fstf mfrfu nn df nunntur n rndtur cn nnnntf. *n, un mfsn frn drngustfn. Fl !urnfn dfsfurn n duh cu mnmn, cum mn pu!fstnsf Mnchnfl ndfsfn. Nu cuntnfnt, cum putfnm fu s-u fnc ncum. *rngustfn fncf ncfnstn nutumntnc. n mfsn ul fn n ungf tutdfnunn ln dfstnnnnf, chnnr dnc nstn durfnz ctfudnt pfntru nununnlf nunstrf nfsfrnt df mult, dn chnnr n ntuncn, cnd pfntru nun nu df!nnf !nznnnl nnsulut nncn un succfs. )nd!n udnt sunt mprf urrnlf fn!urnnnlf, ntuncn nns rsndul. Nun trfnunf dunr s dm drumul prnn clcnrf ln!nnflur nunstrf mncn. Mnrn df!nn flf ntuncn snngurf. )t df muln cfdnu nstzn ntt df rfpfdf n sf dfspnrt, pfntru c nnmfnn nu lf puntf prftnndf, s trnnsc mprfun cu .nn cnnf!n. Fn nu mnn sunt dnspun, s nduc frtff, s dfn un pns nnpun snu prunnnnl s n slu fnsc u dnt. Fn nu mnn sunt dnspun, s cunsnmt cu cfllnlt, s-l nccfptf pf dfplnn, s-l n utf ln rfzul!nrfn prunlfmflur snlf. 'rnnn df fgunsmul lur pruprnu !d fn numnn grfflnlf snlf Ann znsfB. *rngustfn n df!fnnt dfmudnt- nuturfnlnznrf sf numftf cu!ntul df df!nz! n ln ncfnstn fstf cfllnlt tutun numnn stn fnntur. Fl fstf dunr .fulusnt/ cn un unnfct, nn df dfpnrtf pf ct sfr!ftf fl pruprnnlur nntfrfsf n durnnf - n dup ncffn fstf nnrn nruncnt. Frn nn df frumus df n !fdfn, cum mnmn sf schnmnnsf. Fn sf rugn mult n n n utn pf cfnlnln nn df mult pf ct putfn. $ucrurn mntfrnnlf nsfmnnu pfntru fn cu mult mnn punn dfct nnnntf. *nr ncfstfn nu frnu numnn .cumurn pfntru cfr/, pf cnrf fn lf ndunn. n nncn n ncum n mfrgfn prnn ncfnstn df n cu mult mnn nnnf. Fn n df!fnnt mnn mulumnt. $n tunt muncn n suffrnnn sllunn tutun u ffrncnrf tcut n fn. "ntn sf nucurn cu sngurnn funrtf mult df ncfst fnpt. Fl n-n nrtnt n !ns, cn fn s nu nnn nustnlgnf dup fl n gndurn, cn s sf ucupf df fnptul, cn frnnn mfn, cnrf frnu ncum nmndun df n mnturn n n!fnu fnmnlnn pruprnn, s punt gsn tut nn cnlfn cfn drfnpt. *f mult rndnrf n drngustf !n fn nf!unf pfntru ncfst lucru. 6 Nnc u dnt nnrn trfnunn fu s fnu dus spfntru nnnlnzf n clnnnc, ntr-u clnnnc unn!frsntnr, n cnrf n-nm mnn fust nncnudnt. Fu !runnm mnn ntn s m upun, nm rfnlnznt ns ncun, c fu nu n!fnm nncn u nns# nstffl m-nm dnt fu n mnnnlf dfstnnulun mfu. *nn tnmpul nccndfntulun nu mnn pnsfm n nncn u clnnnc, n ncfnstn n fust n urm cu u grmnd df nnn. *f n df dfpnrtf m-n cuprnns un sfntnmfnt ru. Ntuncn cnd nun nfnm nflnt n fnn purnn, m-nm spfrnnt fu funrtf tnrf. &fntru prnmn dnt df cnd putfnm .!fdfn/, m-n cuprnns u frnc df nfdfscrns. Frn u nmngnnf df cnus. *uhurnlf murnlur n !nn, nlf nnnmnlflur n unmfnnlur, tuntf df!fnnsfr u mns n fnfrnfrf, nfngr. &fstf tuntf sf nfln un nmfns strngt df n utur duhu!nncfsc. )um n frn cun!n pusnnnl, s lucrfzf nncn, fr s fnf strn!nt df ncfnstn( *uu znlf trfnunn s rmn nncn, mn spusfr fn. Fu trfmurnm cu tut trupul. Nu-mn frn pusnnnl s mfdntfz. Fr ncftnrf m lu!fnu umnrf, nu-mn lsnu nncn cfl mnn mnc luc df lnnntf. Fu l-nm rugnt pf Mnchnfl dup n utur, df-nnnn ntuncn mn-n rfunt, s-mn fnc cf!n spnnu lnnfr n lnnntf cu crucfn df lumnn. Nncnudnt nnrn nu mn-n mnn fust fffctul fn nn df lnmpfdf cuntnfnt cn nncn. 2nzflf fn crfnu un znd, cnrf m nfurn prutfctur. *nr sumnul nu frn pusnnnl. *f ndnt cf nm fust lsnt n pncf df ctrf ducturn, nm cutnt scpnrfn ln Mnchnfl. Muln trfnunf nncn s-n pftrfnc ntrfngn !nn! Fu m-nm untnt ndflung ln ducturn n ln sururn. )n prnzunnfrn ntr-u cntndfl n umnrflur nrtnu fn. *nn tuntf prnlf !fnfnu flf n trgfnu df fn, lf sugfnu tut dnn fn. )nnf !runn nncn s suprn!nfunnsc, trfnunn s nnn u ndf!rnt nntur df tnur - snu s fnf un sfnt. Fu putfnm s-n !d pf unnn dnntrf ncftn sfnnn. 2ugcnunfn n drngustfn n nfurnu cn un curt prutfctur. %mfrnn sfr!fnu fn tuturur, nnfnu tut tnmpul u nucnt df pncf n mnnnlf lur n u mprfnu tuturur, cnrf sf ntnndfnu s prnmfnsc ncfnstn. Nnflfgfrf, nuntntf n nlnntnrf n nfurnu n pf pncnfnnn lur ntr-u mnntnu prutfctunrf. Fnfrgnn, pf cnrf fn u fmnnnu mfrfu, curgfn fr nncftnrf cn ndnus dnn sffrn duhu!nncfsc-dumnfzfnfnsc, un nz!ur cnrf nncnudnt nu sfcn pfntru ncfln, cnrf rung n sf rung pfntru n prnmn ncfnstn. %un cnmfrn mfn trfnunn s sf nflf curtfn df dnnnnntf sprf nnd. Numnn cu prutfcnn lun Mnchnfl nm ndrznnt s m duc nculu. Frnu duhurnlf n zfcn df mnn df nnnmnlf, cnrf umplfnu ncpfrnlf cn u mnrf spumfgnd dnn lncrnmn, frnc n rfpru. Nncnudnt n-nm !zut fu lucrurn mnn ngruzntunrf, nncnudnt u suffrnn mnn mnrf. $n chnnurn nfnmngnnnnnlf trfnunnu ncfstf nnnmnlf s fn fust pusf. Frn nndul! )rfnt prnntr-unn dnntrf cflf mnn ngruzntunrf crnmf nlf umfnnrnn, !n!nsfcnn. )u trupul !nu, fr nnfstfznf fusfsfr multf dnntrf ncfstf nnnmnlf upfrntf. *nc f,nstn u cunl pfntru drncn, ncfnstn df nncn trfnunn s fnf. *uhurnlf nnnmnlflur, nltffl fnnf nn df !nunnf, frnu dfsfngurntf pn ln nfrfcununtfrf. *uhul nnnmnlflur nu sf nfl nncn pf dfpnrtf nn df strns n trup cn ln unmfnn. *f ncffn puntf un nnnmnl s supurtf mult mnn uur durfrn .nurmnlf/. 'n nnnmnl suffr df

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rfgul ln rnnrn n nuln nncn pf dfpnrtf nn df tnrf cn un um. unrfcflf, cu cnrf sf unc pnsncn, zfnrn, pf cnrf n prnns-u lful, muscn, cnrf n fust prnns df pnnn fn, flf nu suffr ln ncfnstn. *uhul lur sf dfprtfnz ntt df dfpnrtf df trup, c fl rmn nfturnurntf df ncfnstn. Numnn chnnurn nlf schnngnunrnlur nfumfnftn put ducf ln nnnmnl ln fnptul, c duhul su fstf n fl nnclus, c fl suffr chnnurn nlf nndulun n fstf n nn ffl df dfsfngurnt, cum fu nm gsnt ncfnstn nncn. *f cf( &fntru cf( 'n rspuns ln ncfstf ntrfnrn nu fstf pusnnnl. Nn cn n cum dnntr-un rznun nu puntf nncnudnt s nns pncf ndf!rnt n dnn nfnurucnrfn nlturn nncnudnt ffrncnrf ndf!rnt, nstffl nncn nu sf lns nncnudnt n!nns prnn sufrnnn nlturn pruprnn nunl. *nn durfrf, strmturnrf n munrtf - n snu f,nct ntuncn cnd fstf !urnn df nnnmnlf - nu puntf nncnudnt s fnf nscut sntntfn. Mfdncnmfntf n mftudf df upfrnnn, dfz!ultntf prnn f,pfrnfnf pf nnnmnlf, put fn ln prnmn !fdfrf plnnf df n utur ln multf nuln. &fr tutnl ns prncnnunfsc flf df n prnn fffctflf lur nd!frsf cu mult mnn mult pngun, dfct sunt flf untnlf, fcnd cu tutul nnstrncnf df urmrnlf duhu!nncfsc-suflftftn, cnrf cntrfsc nc cu mult mnn grfu. Munrtfn nu puntf crfn !nn. Ncfnstn fstf lfgf! $un Mnchnfl nsun nu-n frn uur s rmn lnnntnt. Nnc nncnudnt nu l-nm !zut nn df fmununnt. &fntru nfnumrnt df multf suffrnnf nlf umfnnrnn fstf rfspunsnnnl ncfnst crnm! Nntr-ndf!r nsntunt prnn ncfnstn n-n fust pn ncum nc nnmfnn! Nun nncn mcnr nu putfnm ncurdn n utur. Frn ngruzntur! Fu frnm nucuruns, s plfc nnrn rfpfdf df nculu, df us. *nr nmngnnnlf mn-nu rmns u !nn ntrfng n nmnntnrf. 'scnlnnnlf ngruzntunrf, cnrf sf rspndfnu dnn ncfst luc, nnfnu ntrfngn clnnnc cn prnzunnfr. 0n dnmnnfn urmtunrf nm fust cuntrulnt df ducturul %tfrn. *nn .grffnl/ frn tut ncfl ductur, cnrf m-n chnnunt dup nntfrfn, n prnmn mfn nntfrnnrf n spntnl. *nr df dntn ncfnstn nm rfunt s nnu sfntnmfntflf df ur n df rfpru, dn, nm rfunt chnnr s lf schnmn n drngustf. Fl fstf un prnnzunnfr nl mfsfrnfn snlf, mn-n spus Mnchnfl. Nnn ntrfgn, df n df cnd n-n ncfput spfcnnlnznrfn fstf f,pus ncfstur !nnrnnn. Fl nsun n trfnunt s fnc f,pfrnfnf pf nnnmnlf. *f muln nnn n sf spunf, c npnrntflf sunt snngurflf, pf cnrf fl sf puntf nnzn. *f nntunnf nu !urnftf nnmfnn. *umnfzfu fstf n cfl mnn nun cnz !nlnnnl pfntru crnlf df pu!ftn. Ncfnst cunl nu lns u nlt nltfrnntn!. 'nt-tf cu ntfnnf ln ducturul %tfrn. Fl nu fstf ru. Fl fstf cun!nns, c fncf cffn cf fstf drfpt. Fl fstf cun!nns, c puntf !nndfcn. )nnf n n!nt u spfcnnlnznrf cum fstf n sn, s nnn ncrfdfrf dunr n npnrntf, cnnf n n!nt, s sf untf dunr ln pnrtfn nulnn! n nu ln ntrfgul um, cnnf n n!nt, c nu sf cndf s n nrntf sfntnmfntflf, cnnf fstf dup ncffn nruncnt fr *umnfzfu n spntnl, fstf f,pus pfrmnnfnt !nnrnnnlur nnmncntunrf n nfgntn!f, cnnf .nfn/ .sngflf/ nnnmnlflur df f,pfrnfn, pfntru cnnf df!nnf suffrnnn u nurmnlntntf, cum puntf ncfln s df!nn sfntnmfntnl n s-n nrntf drngustfn( Nntrfnn-tf mnn nnnf cum fstf pusnnnl, c f,nst nc ntt df muln, cnrf nu mfrs prnn ncfnst munr n nu lf sunt strnnf cu!nntflf drngustf n n utur, cnrf put s snmt n ln tutul cf trfnunf s fnc, !d nc ntrfgul um n fnn lur. 0n fn n prnmnt *umnfzfu df n u lucunn, chnnr dnc fn dfsfurn nu tnu ncfst lucru. "f cust ncum mult curn df snnf, s tf nturcn nnpun n curpul tu n s nccfpn cunsultnnnlf ncflfn durfrunsf, fu tnu ncfst lucru! *nr s nu tf mnn nturcn nnpun, nr nsfmnn ln ffl cn n u snnucndfrf. "u nn nflfs ncum, c durfrfn n suffrnnn nu fstf nncnudnt fr sfns. Flf chnnunfsc curpul ntr-ndf!r, dnr punrt tutun ntutfnunn un mfsn . *f unncfn sun nn- Nntunrcf-tf! "u tf nfln pf drumul grfnt! nnf-tf dup urdnnfn drfnpt n lun *umnfzfu, n f-n grn n rffrntunrf ln !nlurnlf spnrntunlf! )nnf !rfn s-n nghfsunf spnrntul n mntfrnn strmt, cnnf l furfnz, s sf ucupf df sntnsfncfrnlf trupftn, cnnf n nlfgf nlnmfntflf dunr dup gustul su, cnnf n rpftf spnrntulun su lnnfrtntfn prnn dfpfndfnf, ncfln nu nrf !unf s sf mnrf c spnrntul su suffr. Nunln n suffrnnn sunt un strngt df n utur nl spnrntulun n n!frtnzfnz umul, cn fl s sf ntunrc. "nnlftflf n npnrntflf nu put !nndfcn, dn - flf nncn mcnr nu nu !unf! %fnsul !nfnn nu fstf, s trfcn prnn tuntf cu un curp sntus. "rfnunf s ! dfn mnn mult ucnznn, s prugrfsnn spnrntunl, s ! dfschndfn drngustfn. Nculu undf dumnn urn, suprnrfn, cfnrtn, nfmulumnrfn n nn!ndnn, nu puntf s rmn un curp sntus. Ncfstf !nnrnnn ndncn n nfgntn!f schnmn n nn ffl !nnrnnnlf pruprnn nlf curpulun, c ncfstn sf mnuln!ftf. Nu fstf u pfdfnps, cn un strngt df n utur- )f!n nu fstf n rfgul! *unr schnmnnrfn gndnrnn, ntunrcfrfn, l puntf nsntun dnn nuu. "nnlftflf put s nmflnurfzf, dnr flf nu put s !nndfcf! )nnf sf lns .mncnt/ df frncn sn, ncfln s fnf mulumnt, ntuncn cnd nunln l n!frtnzfnz n !rfn s-n spun- "u nu ftn curpul tu, tu ftn spnrntul tu, nu-n fncf grn n df curpul tu! % nu-n fnf tfnm dnn cnuzn lun, flf fstf fr nncn u nmpurtnn! Nndrfnpt-n duhul sprf *umnfzfu, n tfnmn sf !n f!npurn, dfunrfcf nu !n mnn fn nfcfsnr! *unr trfnunf nflfs ncfst mfsn ! "rfnunf s !rfn s-l nflfgn! Nunln nu fstf nncnudnt dnn grffnl, fn nu fstf pru!ucnt df nnctfrnn n !nrun. Nuln nnffcnunsf n lu!ftf rnrfurn pf unnn. F,nst sufncnfnn unmfnn, cnrf nu suprn!nfunt lfprfn n cnumnn, cu tuntf c n-nu n utnt pf cfn nulnn!n, fr n fn ntr-un ffl prutf nn! *rngustfn fstf un scut sufncnfnt. )ffn cf dfclnnfnz nunln fstf pruprnn cumpurtnrf grfnt, nclcnrfn urdnnnn dumnfzfnftn. *f nnnn ntuncn df!nnf pruspfr tfrfnul pfntru nnctfrnn n !nrun. *nr dnn pcntf mn urntntfn nu pnfrdut ncfnst lfgtur. Fn nncn mcnr nu mnn sunt cnpnnnln, s rfcununsc sfmnflf cflf mnn f!ndfntf. %N*N fstf unul dnntrf ncfstf sfmnf. Fnfcnrf tnf, c, df rfgul, sf puntf mnuln!n lumfn df fn dunr ntuncn, dnc n dnu fru lnnfr durnnffn trupftn, n sf,unlntntf dfplnsnt snu n dfpfndfnn df drugurn. n n luc s nlturf mutn!flf, s sf ntunrc nnpun n urdnnfn dumnfzfnnsc, sf cnut pusnnnlntn, s duc drumul mnn dfpnrtf n cu tut fflul df mn luncf n flfmfntf df sngurnn s scnpf df nn znsn .pfdfnps/. *nc nr fn ncfnstn u pfdfnps, ntuncn nu nm putfn fn df ncurd, dnr nm putfn s nflfgfm. )cn sf puntf uculn u pfdfnps, dnc unnn nfnrm cu !ucfn tnrf, c sunt ntt df

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nntflngfnn. *nr pfdfpsf nu f,nst! Fstf dunr u urmnrf n trnnulun df !nn grfnt. n ncfnstn nu sf !n putfn uculn df ffl. *nr cfl trznu ntuncn, cnd tuntf nfnrnlf sunt nfundntf, cfl trznu ntuncn fn !ur unsfr!n, c f,nst un drum mnn snmplu, cnrf cunducf tut tnmpul sprf succfs- s sf ntunrc n s rfcununsc dnn nuu urdnnfn dumnfzfnnsc. )um puntf !nndfcn un ductur u nunl dnc nu-n cununtf cnuzn( Fstf npru,nmntn! nn, cn n cum cnnf!n nr ncfnrcn s f,tfrmnnf u crtn , prnn fnptul c n dnstrugf muurunul. Mnnf n !n dn dnn nuu ucnznn s-u fnc. *nc nstzn .!nndfcn/ stumncul, mnnf !n fn nffctnt nnnmn, snu nntfstnnul, snu ...! "u pun dnstrugf urnctf muurunnf !rfn, sf !ur nfnnnn tut tnmpul nltflf. Nncftfnz dunr ntuncn, cnd crtnn fstf prnns. *f ncffn !nndfc-n spnrntul! n ntuncn tu nu mnn trfnunf s-n fncn grn n dnn prncnnn trupulun! )hnnr n muln dnntrf cfn cf !nndfc spnrntul mfrg drumul grfnt. *nc n lnn pf ncftn nrlntnnn dfupnrtf, ntuncn muln sf lnmntfnz s !nndfcf cu duhul curpul. *unr punnn sunt n stnrf, s nlturf cnuzflf spnrntunlf. *unr ncfst lucru cunducf sprf u !nndfcnrf pfrmnnfnt. *nc cfrf unul muln nnnn pfntru muncn sn, ntuncn tu pun s fn sngur, c nu nrf putfrfn dumnfzfnnsc, cu cnrf fl tf !nndfc. *nrurn spnrntunlf nu sf put !nndf. *umnfzfu nu sf lns pltnt n unfltflf snlf nncn ntt. Ncfst lucru fstf !nlnnnl pfntru tuntf dnrurnlf spnrntunlf. *nc cnnf!n n prnmnt df ln *umnfzfu hnrul, cn fl s punt !fdfn snu s snmt n !nntur, ntuncn ncfstn l !n drun, ndnc l !n dn dunr cn s sf punt ntrfnnf. Nnnnn sunt cfn mnn nun n cfn mnn ffncnfnt dfscupfrnrf n dnn!ululun, n cnnf sf unc cu fucul, nu nrf !unf s sf mnnunfzf, dnc sf nrdf dnn grffnl ln dfgftf. )t df punnn sunt cnpnnnln, s gsfnsc cnuzn n s !nndfcf ntr-ndf!r duhul! Muln cnrf !nndfc duhul, ct n ductrurn, nfnrm c fn put !nndfcn nnsulut tutul. Mulumnt *umnulun nu sunt fn cnpnnnln df ncfnstn! Fn nr lun ntuncn umulun ultnmn nns, cnrf n-nr furn ntunrcfrfn. &fntru muln n fust nunln lur mutn!ul, prnn cnrf fn nu rfnunnt ln tut cf fstf mntfrnnl n s-nu ndrfptnt sprf *umnfzfu. %nu cf s-nr fn ntmplnt, dnc Nnnndn 2nmn tf-nr fn !nndfcnt( Fl n-nr fn lunt cf!n! *funrfcf pfntru tnnf fstf nmpurtnnt ncfnstn/nunl/, dn /fstf !ntnl/. Fn n df!fnnt cfl mnn nun prnftfn nl tu. Fr ncfnst nunl nu nn fn n!ut nnsn, s tf dfz!uln mnn dfpnrtf. *nstrncnnlf, grnnn n lfnfn tf-nr fn cuprnns n n-nr fn nlucnt drumul spnrntunl. n fr ucnznn df n n!n umnlnnn, drngustfn n rndnrfn, nu tf-nn nfln tu nstzn nncn. %nu unt-tf ln cfnlnn hnndncnpnn, pf cnrf tu n cunutn df n. &fntru tun fstf nmpurtnnt .nunln/ lur, fn n nrf rustul fn! *n - fnfcnrf dnntrf nun putfn s fnf mulumnt pfntru nunln sn, cnrf uffrfn spnrntulun mn luncflf cn fl s sf dfz!ultf n s n!ff, cffn cf un .um sntus/ n!n dunr funrtf grfu. Fstf u trfnpt df dfz!ultnrf. )um un fluturf trfnunf s fnf ntn u umnd, pfntru cn s sf punt dfz!ultn, nn npnrf n n dfz!ultnrfn umulun un punct, undf u nunl fncf pusnnnlf f,pfrnfnf, cnrf nltffl nu sf put fncf. &fntru unul sntus, cnrf nu !rfn, s sf untf n spntflf lucrurnlur, put s sunf ncfstf cu!nntf punn cnudntf. *nr spnrntul st pfstf tuntf. 3 Mntthnns nrf df nnnn cnncn nnn, n fstf pnrnlnznt spnstnc n surdu-mut. Ntuncn cnd fl n !fnnt ln nun, mn s-n .prfzfntnt/ mnf nn- Nm n!nt s n ut. Fstf cf!n frumus, cf!n sntnsfctur. Fstf nnnf, dnc pun n utn pf cnnf!n. Ncum trfnunf s n!, cn fu s m lns n utnt. Ncfst lucru fstf cu mult mnn grfu. 0n ncflnn tnmp put s lf dnu nlturn pusnnnlntntfn s n utf. *n, s tf lnn n utnt, fstf cu mult mnn grfu, dfct s n un. *nr fnfcnrf, cnrf !rfn s n utf, nrf nf!unf df cnnf!n, cnrf fstf prfgtnt, s sf lnsf n utnt. n f,nct ncfstn fstf mutn!ul n multur nuln. &rnnnn lun nu nu !rut s fnf n prfn mn lur u nstffl .df pucntnnnf/. &n ncum s-n ucupnt nunncn sn cu mult drngustf df fl, n-n dnt cldurn nfcfsnr unun um cu hnndncnp, cu tuntf c fn frn funrtf grn! nulnn! n df nnnn mnn putfn s mfnrg. %nu puntf c chnnr dnn ncfst mutn!( *f ln Mnchnfl tnnm, c u nstffl df lfgtur, cum nu cunstrunt-u fn dun, !n nnf pf !fcn. Nncn u furtun nu u !n putfn rupf !rfudnt. Ncfstfn sunt fructflf spnrntulun, pf cnrf nun trfnunf s lf ndunm nncn, pfntru n putfn trn dnnculu cu flf. Nnnn nu n putut pn ncum s nn nnmfnn cu fl. *nr ncum n n!ut !unf nunncn lun s prsfnsc ncfst pmnt. Nn n n uns Mntthnns ln nun. %pnrntul su frn mnn lnnfr dfct ln cfnlnln. Fu putfnm s m .nflfg/ nnnf cu fl, chnnr n ntuncn cnd fl frn trfnz. *uhul multur unmfnn cu hnndncnp nu fstf nn df strns lfgnt df curp, cn n ln unmfnnn .nurmnln/. Ncfstn fstf n mutn!ul, c muln dnntrf fn nu snmt nn df tnrf durfrfn, cn n unmfnnn .nurmnln/. %pnrntul lur fstf mnn dnstnnnnt, fl nu trfnunf s sf ndfntnfncf cu curpul, dfunrfcf durnnflf lumftn, mntfrnnlul, grnnn n strfsul nu l unlng. Ncfstfn sunt unflf dnn ncflf .drfpturn/ pf cnrf un um cu hnndncnp lf nrf. *nr pf df nlt pnrtf fn supurt multf lucrurn. &fntru snnf, pfntru n nnnntn u nucnt pf drumul lur grfu, dnr n pfntru nlnn, cn s lf dfn ucnznn cn s n utf n s lf dfschnd uchnn cu mfsn ul lur mutNu curpul fstf cffn cf !nlurfnz, fl fstf nmpfrffct n trfctur, nmpurtnnt fstf s pun trfcf pfstf fl. *unr duhul rmnf pf !fcn, nmpurtnnt fstf s-l lnn s crfnsc!

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Nnrn nm pnt nlturn df Mnchnfl drumul strmt df pdurf n us, pf lng cnscndn df np, sprf mncul lnc, lng cnrf sttfnm nun dfsfurn. &fntru prnmn unr nm unsfr!nt, c flurnlf frnu ntutdfnunn nflurntf, pumnn n!fnu ntutdfnunn fructf, frn tut tnmpul plcut n cnld, tutul frn mnnunnt, fr cn fu s fn unsfr!nt !rfudnt c pluun. Ntuncn cnd fu m-nm gndnt funrtf nnnf ln ntrfnnrf, pfntru cn fu s nu m nlnmfz prfn tnrf, n ncfput Mnchnfl s-mn zmnfnsc. Nu f,nst nnrn ln *umnfzfu. "utul fstf plnn df !nn. Nntutdfnunn! Nnmnc nu fstf trfctur, nnmnc nu sf puntf ufnln. "utul fstf ntutfnunn n flunrfn !nfnn. &lunnn, sunrflf n hrnnn fstf nfcfsnr dunr pfntru lumfn mntfrnnl. $umfn spnrntunl fstf 7rnstus ntru tutul. &utfrfn %n ptrundf n tutul, df ln Fl trnftf tut cf fstf. %urn Gnrcnn nr putfn s-n pu!fstfnsc ctf cf!n. ' mn m-n ntnns uur pf umr. Fu m-nm nturs. 'n ngfr tnr sttfn n fnn mfn. %urn Gnrcnn, cum nn n uns nncn! Fn n ncfput s zmnfnsc. Ncfst lucru tf-n putfn ntrfnn n fu pf tnnf. *n, ncfst lucru frn ndf!rnt. Mnchnfl, df mult nm !rut fu s tf ntrfn cf!n. Fu cunusc ncum ctf!n fflurn df nuln. %fnsul lur, pusnnnlntnlf lur. *nr cf sfns n n!ut suffrnnn surfn Gnrcnn( Fn n n uns nn df dfpnrtf n lfgturn fn cu *umnfzfu, c nu n mnn n!ut nf!unf df nunl, pfntru n gsn drumul cfl nun. *n, ncfst lucru fstf ndf!rnt! $n *umnfzfu f,nst mnn multf pusnnnlntn, n ncfnstn fstf unn dnntrf flf. Fu nm n!ut !unf s sufr, drng Nnrnnrn. N fust u mnlustn!nrf dnn pnrtfn lun *umnfzfu. Nu pfntru mnnf nm rndnt fu, cn pfntru nlnn. Nn cum Nnsus n suffrnt n mnrf pfntru nun tun, nn nm n!ut fu !unf s sufr punn pfntru cn!n. n nu sunt chnnr ntt df punnn, cnrf sf rung pfntru ncfnst mnl n u n prnmfsc. %fcrftus s-n untnt fn ln Mnchnfl. Ncfstn n dnt nfnrmntn! dnn cnp. n tu ftn unn dnntrf ncfnn. Fu( *n! Nncn tu nu mnn nn nf!unf df durfrnlf tnlf pfntru dfz!ultnrfn tn. *nr tu lf supurn n lnnntf n cu df!utnmfnt. F,nct ncfnstn fstf, cf fu nm !rut s spun. *nr cum fstf pusnnnl( Fnfcnrf trfnunf s-n mfnrg pruprnul drum. Nu puntf s n sf sucutfnsc lun mfrntflf nlturn. Ncfst lucru nr nlturn dunr !unnn sn lnnfr. Fstf unul dnntrf sfcrftflf lun *umnfzfu, cnrf fstf funrtf grfu df nflfs. Nncn fu nu sunt n stnrf, s nflfg ncfnstn ntru tutul. )hnnr n cflf mnn nnltf duhurn nu tnu tutul. *uhurnlf crfsc tut tnmpul n nflfpcnunfn lur, n nfmrgnnntn nflfpcnunf n lun *umnfzfu fstf sufncnfnt pfntru !fcnn !fcnlur. *nr cffn, cf fn nu nflfg, ncffn nccfpt fn umnln n crfdnncnun. &rnn ncfnstn sf dnffrfnnnz fn fnurm df mult f df !un unmfnnn. Fn tnu, c put s nnn ncrfdfrf n *umnfzfu, c sf put nnzn pf Fl. *umnfzfu n-n pus nc nncnudnt !rfunn dnntrf lfgnlf %nlf n nfnrn !nlnnnlntnn, n Fl nncn nu !n fncf ncfnstn !rfudnt, nncn cfn mnn nfnsfmnnt. *fsngur nr fn Fl n stnrf df ncfst lucru, n dfsngur nr putfn Fl cu ncfnstn s grnfnsc funrtf nmfns dfz!ultnrfn fpturnn. *nr Fl nu fncf. Fl n crfnt pfntru fpturn %n lfgn clnrf n drfptf, n Fl sf nnf df ncfstfn. *nc nr fncf Fl u dnt u f,cfpnf, nncnudnt nnrn nu s-nr putfn nnzn fpturnlf $un pf dfplnn pf Fl. tnn tu ncum, cf nsfnmn n .crfdf/( "u pun dfcn s fnn pf dfplnn sngur, c Fl tnf s fulusfnsc rugcnunfn n suffrnnn, cnrf sunt frtfntf pfntru nlnn, n nn ffl, nct s fnf plnnf df n utur, fr n punf !unnn lnnfr n nfnrn !nlnnnlntnn. Nn ncrfdfrf n Fl! Fu frnm ffrncnt. 7nndncnpul mfu, ncfstn frn nmpurtnnt n nfcfsnr pfntru mnnf. Ncfst lucru l tnnm nnnf. *nr durfrnlf, cnrf nu df!fnnt n ultnmul tnmp tut mnn putfrnncf, m-nu chnununt cu dunnn. &fntru c fu nu putfnm nflfgf sfnsul lur, lf-nm cunsndfrnt n sfcrft df n cn fnnnd fr sfns. ', ct df nfncrfzturn suntfm nun tutun! Nndnr, dfunrfcf fu tnnm, c flf lf sfr!fnu nlturn cn n utur, m nucurnm fu dnn ncfnst cnuz. 0n ultnmul tnmp nm n!ut fu !unf s lf ncurd ctur!n n utur n nm putut s schnmn unflf lucrurn n mprf urnmfn mfn. Ntrnfn ndmnnnstrntunrf n-nm ndfprtnt pu!nrn fn. Fu trfnunn, cf-n drfpt, s m ucup fnfcnrf zn dnn nuu df ncfnstn, pfntru c fn nu frn nncn pf dfpnrtf ndfn uns df putfrnnc, s rfznstf ln ntncurnlf umnrflur. *nr fn fcfn ncuntnnuu prugrfsf mncn. Fn df!fnnsf mnn prnftfnuns, gntn s dfn n utur, cnd sf rugn, frn fn n n nntfrnur pnrtncnpnnt ln ncfnstn. Funrtf ncft, nprunpf nfunsfr!nt cunstrunsf fn un cmp n urul fn, cnrf nu mnn lsn nn uur s !nn ln suprnfn sfntnmfntf n gndurn nfgntn!f. Fn nu tnn mutn!ul, dnr fn ngn df sfnm, c frn cf!n df fn, cf n fcfn trfnnn mnn uunr. Ntuncn s-n trfznt nnnflf dnn fn, n fn lucrn cu tunt furn n cffn cf prn!fn pfrsunnn fn. "rfnnn n cffn cf prn!ftf pfrsunnn pruprnf, ncfnstn n-u puntf prflun nnmfnn df ln tnnf, ccn, nltffl, s-nr fn spus tutun cu !unnn lnnfr. Nntr-ndf!r sunt dfsfurn pnfdncn prfzfntf, cnrf pnr df nftrfcut. Nns, df ndnt cf ncfpf muncn n cffn cf prn!ftf pfrsunnn pruprnf, df ndnt cf fstf nntfprnns ncfrcnrfn sfrnuns, s tf schnmnn, s dnn sfntnmfntflf n gndurnlf nfgntn!f pruprnn n schnmnul drngustfn n pfntru Nnsus 7rnstus, ntuncn n fstf cnnf!n df fn, cnrf nlung pnfdncnlf dnn cnlf. &runnnnl nu mnnf, prunnnnl nncn pun-mnnf. )tfudnt !n fn nfcfsnr, s rfzntn mult tnmp, pfntru c n !unnn n rndnrfn !ur s fnf nntrfnntf. Nnmfnn nu lf puntf prnmn cn cnduu. &unrtn df ln nchnsunrf, pf ncffn u !ur dfschndf nlnn, dnc u zgudunftn dfstul df mult tnmp. *nr dus nfnr nu !fn fn, trfnunf s mfrgn tutun snngur. 3 n FrDnn fcusf prugrfsf nmfnsf. Fl frn numnn uur hnndncnpnt curpurnl, suffrfn ns df u schnzufrfnnf prununnt, df ln nl trfnlfn nn df !nn nl su. Ncfnst dfspncnrf n pfrsunnlntnn frn nn df putfrnnc, c fl trfnunn mfrfu s nn mfdncnmfntf df lnnntnrf. &rnn ncfnstn df!fnfn fl ns nn df rfdus, c nu mnn frn n stnrf,

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s-n fulusfnsc mnntfn, s nn dfcnznn df unul snngur. Fl df!fnnsf un scln!. 0n stnrfn nurmnl frn fl un nnnt drgu, cnrf fcfn tutul pfntru nltcnnf!n. )nd n!fn crnzflf lun, frn fl Nnpulfun. Fnfcnrf frn dumnnul lun, n fl ntncn cu tuntf, cf n frnu ln ndfmn. Fnn lun, nfnnrfn lun, nn chnnr ntrfngn lun fnnn sf schnmnn df fnfcnrf dnt pf dfplnn. )hnnr n lnmnn sunn nltffl. )nd nm !zut fu pfntru prnmn dnt, cffn cf sf ntmpln nncn, nu !runnm s crfd ncfnstn. &rfn fnntnstnc frn cffn, cf !zusfm fu. Nncn nu mn-n fust lnmpfdf lfgturn lugnc. Nstffl, l-nm rugnt pf Mnchnfl dup un sfnt. "u nn !zut tutun curfct, mn rspunsf fl. %unt ntr-ndf!r duu duhurn, cnrf sf cfnrt pfntru trupul lun. *uhul nnntulun n un nltul, cnrf rfunsf, s sf trnnspun nn df tnrf n curp, c nnntul nu mnn puntf scpn df fl dnn putfrfn pruprnf. $n ncfnstn n nnu mfdncnmfntflf, pf cnrf trfnunf s lf nn mfrfu, nc n ultnmn nns df rfunt. *nr - cum fstf ncfnstn pusnnnl( &rnn nnumntf ntmplrn nmpurtnntf puntf duhul s sf ndfprtfzf funrtf dfpnrtf df trup. *nc ntuncn un nlt duh sf fncf n ncfst tnmp stpn pf trupul lun, puntf s sf ntmplf, c, ln rfnturcfrfn lun, fl nu mnn puntf s scnpf df unspftflf nfpuftnt. &rfdumnn ntuncn u lupt cuntnnu ntrf cfn dun. )nd unul ctng, ntuncn fl stnpnftf pfstf trup. )nd cfllnlt ctng pfntru un tnmp suprfmnnn, ntuncn trfnunf trupul s-l nscultf. *funrfcf tutun n rflnffflf curpurnlf sunt dfpfndfntf df duh, sf schnmn ntuncn ndfsfn n ntrfngn nfnnrf df nspfct n ncfstun um rfgrftnnnl. Numnn c nncn fstf sntunnn cn n ln tuntf- cffn cf nu !fzn, ncffn nncn nu crfzn. ' mnrf pnrtf dnntrf ncfnn, cnrf n duc f,nstfnn lur nlnnc prnn snnnturnnlf psnhnntrncf, fncf pnrtf dnntrf ncftnn. *fspncnrf n pfrsunnlntnn u numfsc psnhulugnn. Fn nncn mcnr nu tnu, ct df mult drfptntf nu fn cu ncfst cu!nt. F,nst n cnzurn, undf sf stnnnlnfsc duhul snu duhurnlf nn df putfrnnc n trup, c stpnul df drfpt nu mnn puntf nnsulut df luc s !nn nnpun. Nncn ncfnstn nu fstf nn df rnr. *nc duhul prsftf nncuntnfnt trupul, dfcn n sumn, nu sf puntf ntmpln nnmnc. "rupul fstf pznt cn un rfgf. Ncfnstn fstf unn dnntrf snrcnnnlf nunstrf. n nun suntfm df ncrfdfrf! *nc ns duhul sf dfprtfnz cuntnfnt df trup, ntuncn trfnunf n un nct cuntnfnt s-l prutf fzf! Ncfnstn fstf u lfgf n fstf n lfgtur cu dfcnznn lnnfr n !unnfn. *f ncffn fstf ntt df nmpurtnnt, cn tu s tf ngrn ftn df u prutfcnf nnnntf df fnfcnrf mfdntnnf- prnn rugcnunf n prnn crucfn df lumnn! F,nst n nltf pusnnnlntn, cnrf lf utnlnzfnz mnn nlfs !r nturnn df mngnf nfngr. Ncfstf duu sunt ns cflf mnn putfrnncf, n tu tf pun ntutdfnunn n pf dfplnn ncrfdf n ncfstfn. Muln nn numnn mfdnumn nu pltnt df n cu .pnfrdfrfn/ trupulun lur ncfnst nfgln nrf n mrfnn lur pruprnf snu n nfsucutnnn lur. +nnn, pf cnrf u punrt ntuncn cn .nfnunn/, nncn mcnr nu mnn mfrnt ncfst numf. Fstf u munrtf !nf, pf cnrf u suffr. Fu !rfnu s-n nrt, cnrf n fust ln FrDnn mutn!ul. 0n succfsnunn rnpndf nm !zut fu ntuncn nmngnnn dnn cupnlrnn lun. "ntl su n czut prnd nlcululun. Nntutdfnunn, cnd fl nfn, ntfn ntrfngn lun fnmnlnf, n pf mncuul FrDnn. *f duu urn fusfsf fl df n n spntnl dnn ncfnst cnuz, ln un nn n umtntf n ln dun nnn. &rnmn unr fusfsf fl prfsrnt df sus pn us cu !ntn# fl nr fn czut us pf scrn, sf spunfn. N duun unr n!usfsf fl rupt mnn - u cdfrf ln unc pf strnd. Ntuncn cnd fl cu cfn nprunpf trfn nnn nn sn fcfn n pnt nunptfn, s-n pnfrdut tntl su pf dfplnn cu fnrfn. Fl l-n ngnt n cndn df nnnf n npn rfcf n l-n nnut nn df mult sun np, pn cf df!fnnsf fl nncuntnfnt. Ntuncn s-n ntmplnt ncfnstn. *uhul su nu putusf suffrn ncfst uc n sf dfprtnsf dnntr-u dnt funrtf dfpnrtf df trup. Nndnr - unn dnntrf multflf umnrf, pf cnrf tntl su lf purtn mfrfu cu fl, s-n fcut df ndnt stpn pf trupul su. $un FrDnn n-n rfunt, cf-n drfpt, nc rfntunrcfrfn, dnr fl nu mnn frn snngur. Nncn urm df cnn n-n nrtnt tntl su. n ntnlf lf putfn fl ncupfrn. FrDnn n n uns ntr-u cns df cupnn, n cnzul n fust nchfnnt. )nncn sutf df mnn df cupnn sunt fnfcnrf nn mnltrntnn numnn n Gfrmnnnn, mn spusf Mnchnfl. *nntrf ncftnn trfnunf pfstf u sut df mnn ngrn nn stnnunnr n spntnl. Nns cflf mnn multf cnzurn sunt munmnlnzntf n sunt dntf drfpt nccndfntf. n ntuncn sunt unmfnn, cnrf nc l mnn numfsc pf dnn!ul u nfnnrf dnn pu!ftn ! ' nfnnrf dnn pu!fstf funrtf !nf, mn pnrf mnf. Nntrfntunrf nm prn!nt ln Mnchnfl# fl ddfn numnn dnn cnp, n df ntuncn m-nm ucupnt fnfcnrf zn nntfnsn! df FrDnn. Fu ncfrcnm s-l mnulzfsc n nfnr pf dumnnul lun, l-nm .mprucnt/ cu crucn df lumnn n nm n!ut succfs funrtf rfpfdf. *f n prnmn dnt n pnfrdut fl df ndnt stpnnrfn nsuprn trupulun. Fl df!fnfn !nznnnl tut mnn mult fr !lng. Nmputrn!nrfn lun pfrnudnc frn numnn u ntlnf df rftrngfrf. &unnf sptmnn dup ncffn s-n s!rnt. &f dfplnn ustfnnt trfnunn fl s sf rftrng. $umnnn n!nngf ntutdfnunn, mn spusf Mnchnfl, chnnr dnc ctfudnt durfnz mult, chnnr dnc ctfudnt sf rftrngf pf dfplnn, pfntru n n!fn ntuncn un cu ntt mnn mnrf succfs cu un ntnc prnn surprnndfrf. % spfrm, c fn sf ntunrcf ncun nnrn nnpun n ncfnst lumf! FrDnn n urncf cnz frn !nndfcnt. Nunlf mfdncnmftf n-nu fcut fffctul funrtf rfpfdf, frnu df prfrf ducturnn. &fntru sngurnn nr trfnun fl s lf mnn nn nc cn!n nnn, cn u rfcndn! s punt fn nlturnt. *nr nfgln fnn n dfzurdnnf nu sunt ntutdfnunn nfgntn!f. 0n ncfst cnz n-nu fcut lun FrDnn pusnnnl, s duc ncun u !nn dfstul df nurmnl. 7nndncnpul lun curpurnl uur nu nffn mnn dfpnrtf n f!ndfn. Fu frnm pfstf msur df nucuruns, numnn ntrfnnrfn *f cf m mnn prfucupn. ) nu f,nst cunncndfn, tnu fu, n c nu frn u pfdfnps, n pf ncfnstn u tnnm. )nd nf-n prnsnt FrDnn - fl mplnnnsf ntuncn !rstn df upstsprfzfcf nnn n putfn nnnf s sf nn pf cunt pruprnu - nm !zut fu dnntr-u dnt un nrnnt n fnn mfn, cnrf ndfmnn un prnftfn ln nut ntr-u rund !fsfl. Mfrfu dnn nuu fl l prflucrn, l numfn un slnnnug n um fr !unn, cu tuntf c tnn, c ncfst nrnnt tnr nu putfn supurtn nlculul. Mfrfu nnrn n!fn fl succfs n sf nucurn rfgftf, cnd ncfstn frn ntuncn nfnt. *nr n-n durnt mult tnmp, n fl dfczusf pf dfplnn prnd nlcululun, n fust rfspnns df fnmnlnn lun n n murnt cn!n nnn mnn trznu n mnzfrnf. Nntr-ndf!r n prfn n sfcrft ncum ru ncfstun um df

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grffnln lun. 0n f,tfrnur nffn fl ns prnn ncffn dnn nncurctur, c fnfcnrf nr trfnun dunr dfsngur snngur s tnf, cf fncf fl. &fstf un nunstr df ln nntrnrf sf nfl u nnscrnpnf mnrf. &f ncffn st scrns- &utfcn nturtuchnntf, umnrf n lumnn, tuntf sunt mnl, nu tf nfrncun. *nc FrDnn n nflfs ntr-ndf!r ncfnstn( &f muln nm n!ut fu !unf s-n n ut. Nntutdfnunn ncnunnm nsuprn duhulun lur, n-nm flnnfrnt df umnrflf lur, lfnm nntrudus gndurn, cn s punt gsn cnlfn cfn curfct. Ncfnn, cnrf frnu dnspun sprf n fncf ncfst lucru, nu pnt pf ncfnst cnlf cu nucurnf. Nulnlf lur nu dnsprut snngurf, dup cf mutn!ul ncfsturn, schnmnnrfn grfnt n trnrnn !nfnn, fusfsf nlturnt. Nns frnu n muln cnrf nu frnu n stnrf df ncfnstn. Fn snmfnu ntr-ndf!r uurnrfn, nu !runnu ns s sf ustfnfnsc. Fn frnu prfn lfnfn, pfntru n-n schnmnn unncfnurnlf, fn frnu prfn slnnn, pfntru n sf rfdrfsn n s-n dfn !nfnn lur u nlt dnrfcnf. 'ndf fstf u !unn, nculu fstf n u cnlf. *nr dnc !unnn lnpsftf, sf !n nstupn n cnlfn nnrn. 7 Nnrnn fusfsf frnguruns n ndr nt, dnr ncum s-n fcut prnm!nr. %unrflf strlucfn nc punn cnm tnmnd, !ntul frn nc punn cnm rcurus, dnr psrnlf cnrnpfnu nn df tnrf n !fsflf, n ntrfngn nntur prfn s sf nucurf cu flf nsuprn pntflun. &fntru prnmn dnt n ncfst nn nm n!ut nun !unf s fnm nfnr, nfnr dnn culn!nn, cu cnrf sf nchndf u umfnnrf nftnutunrf fn df nntur. Nun, pfrsunnflf cu hnndncnp, suntfm tutun mult mnn putfrnnc lfgnn df nntur. &f df-u pnrtf fstf duhul nustru mult mnn lnnfr, nu fstf nn df tnrf lfgnt df curp, n, n nl dunlfn rnd, nu fstf fl nlucnt df ctrf .strfsul znlnnc/. Nmnduu nu grn , cn nun s putfm snmn nnturn mult mnn nprunpf df nun. ' pfrsunn cu hnndncnp puntf df rfgul s sf nntruduc cu snmnrfn mult mnn nnnf n nntur. Fl sf snmtf c npnrnnf df nntur, snmtf ncffnn pru!fnnfn n nnturnn n n umulun- *umnfzfu! Fl puntf !urnn cu psrnlf, puntf nflfgf lnmnn pnsncnn, fl puntf pumulun s-n dfstnnunf nnnmn n tnf, c ncfstn l !n nflfgf. Multf crfnz duhul n nscuns, cffn cf .umul curpurnl/ nu puntf cuprnndf cu cflf cnncn snmurn nlf snlf. Frn cfl mnn frumus, s nm !unf s m .duc ln plnmnnrf/ prnn pnrc. )nd !rfmfn frn fn!urnnnl, frn mnmn df fnfcnrf dnt nfnr cu mnnf n m mpnngfn n scnunul cu rutnlf sun pumn, df-n lungul cmpnnlur n!frzntf n n gnrdulun nnnf-mnrusntur. Fu nu mn-n fncf nttfn ustfnfln, fn tutun nu nrf nncn un ctng df ln ncfst lucru, nn spus udnt cnnf!n mnmfn mflf. Ncfnstn nu fstf curfct! Nu cu pncnunrflf, nu cu un trup sntus, nn nncn chnnr cu u mnntf sntuns nu sf snmtf nntfns nnturn. *uhul snngur fstf n stnrf df ncfnstn. Numnn c - pf ncfln nu-l !fzn. )t df multf nu s nf spun pumnn! "cun stnu fn nculu. Nn df nn n ncflnn luc. Fn nu sunt u mntfrnf munrt. 'n pum trnftf. n cum! Fl fstf un urnn plnn df fnfrgnf, un ndf!rnt .pnchft df fnfrgnf/. $n un pum pun s tf umpln df fnfrgnf, n fl fstf cu drng dnspus ln ncfnstn, dnc l rugn pfntru nn cf!n. 'n pum nu fstf murt. Fl puntf snmn! Nltffl dfct nun, dnr tut nn df nntfnsn!. 'n pum snmtf durfrf, dnc n sf prncnnunftf pngun, dnc n dfcu ftn scunrn df f,fmplu snu dnc n tnn rnmurnlf. %trmunn nutrn tnnu nc ncfnstn. &rufnnnrfn df pumn frn funrtf sf!fr pfdfpsnt. )u sngurnn nu dnn cruznmf, cn dnn tfmflnn ncfstfn cununtfrn. .&umul mfu/, ncfln frn u znd mnrf, mrfn nprunpf df prul mnc. *f sfculf sf nfln fn n ncflnn luc, tcut n df!utnt. 'n f,fmplu df mudfl pfntru smfrfnnf n rndnrf. )t df mult nm putfn nun n!n df ln pumn, dnc nun nf-nm lun tnmp sprf ncfst lucru! *nc tf prfgtftn suflftftf nsuprn unun pum snu n unfn plnntf, pun snmn uscnlnnnlf, cnrf sf rspndfsc df ln ncfstfn. &un s fncn schnmn sf sfntnmfntf f,nct nn cn n cu un um. 'm pum puntf s-n fnf un prnftfn. Fl fstf u fptur n lun *umnfzfu cn nun, nscut dnn drngustfn $un. )flf cnncn snmurn nlf nunstrf nu pfrmnt ncfnst rfcunutfrf. ' pfrsunn cu hnndncnp ns, n crun duh prnmftf mnn mult spnnu lnnfr prnn tulnurnrfn snmurnlur, puntf ndfsfn s !nd n spntflf ncfstur lucrurn n sf snmtf nnstnnctn! lfgnt df nntur. %urn Mngdnlfnn trfnunn s fnn tnut df ncfst lucru. Fn lun mult ustfnfnl nsuprn fn, pfntru n nf ducf nfnr nn df dfs pf ct frn pusnnnl. Fn rfunsf, cn nun s n n!fm !unf u dnt s cununtfm cu un nutunuz mprf urnmfn nprupnnt. Frn fnfcnrf zn u zn df srntunrf. *fsngur, frn ustfnntur, s mpnngn scnunflf cu rutnlf pfstf crrnlf df pdurf, dnr fu n sunt funrtf mulumntunrf pfntru fnptul, c fn nf-n drunt multf nsfmfnfn urf ffrncntf. Mnn nc un lucru n putut s nmpun fn, df un nn df cnd fn n !fnnt ln nun. &n ncum nu nu f,nstnt nnnmnlf. Nu n fust !unf. Fn ns n ndus ctf!n pnsncn, pf cnrf mn urntntfn dnntrf nun lf-nu prnmnt cu mnrf drng, nn c nncn nu mnn putfn fn !urnn df !rfu sfpnrnrf. Nntrf tnmp n!fm df n zfcf pnsncn n trfn cnnn mncn, cnrf sf snmt funrtf nnnf ln nun. &fntru un um hnndncnpnt fstf un nnnmnl u mnrf nnnfcu!ntnrf. )untnnn sn nu cunstrunftf .dnffrfnf df rnng/ n nncn nu trfnunf s du!fdfnsc, c fl fstf ncfln putfrnnc. 'n um cu hnndncnp puntf cu snmurnlf snlf s nnsunrn ntru tutul un nnnmnl. n ntuncn cnd nu mnn f,nst .dnffrfnf df rnng/, ntuncn df!nnf nnnmnlul un prnftfn, ntuncn nrf fnfcnrf fnnnn crfnt df *umnfzfu ncflfnn drfpturn - n tutul, cf fstf n lun *umnfzfu, trnftf. 3

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+nnn mfn n fust dnntr-u dnt nn df plnn, df cnd n!fnm !unf s n ut pf nlnn. 0n fnfcnrf zn m nprupnnm df *umnfzfu prnn rugcnunf n mfdntnnf n Fl mn trnmntfn n utur spnrntunl, nculu undf frn nf!unf df fl. Fu nm n!ut !unf s !nndfc snu s nmflnurfz nuln, nm n!ut !unf s dnu curn n nlnnnrf, nm n!ut !unf s nltur dnn drum nnrnfrf, cnrf nu nprut ntrf *umnfzfu n cfn cf cutnu. Fu nm n!ut !unf s n n ut pf muln s scnpf df grfutntfn lur, nm n!ut !unf s-n flnnfrfz df umnrf. *nr n unnn dnn .nmprnn umnrflur/ sf lsnu cundun cu drng. Nu sunt dunr duhurn rflf# dfsfurn sunt n .suflftf srncf/, cnrf nu nu gsnt nc drumul. )n sunt n znun df nstzn cnrf nu mnn crfd ntr-u !nn df dup munrtf! Fn sunt cun!nnn, c sf tfrmnn tutul dup munrtf. Nm putfn fn df prfrfn, c dup munrtf fn sf !ur cun!nngf df cuntrnrnul prunlfmfn. Nncn dnn grffnl! Mnn nlfs ntuncn, cnd fn mur nfntfptnt, nu sunt dfluc prfgtnn, df unncfn nu tnu nncn mcnr, cf s-n ntmplnt df fnpt. &fntru unul cnrf trnftf sun ncfstf cu!nntf funrtf cnudnt. *nr dnc sf punf cnnf!n n ncfnst sntunnf, sf puntf nflfgf*nc unul crfdf, c dup cf n murnt fstf .murt/, ntuncn nu-n trfcf gndul prnn cnp, c fl s-n nflnt, cn fl fstf df prfrfn, c nu n murnt. Fl trntf, n pfntru c dup munrtf ftn .murt/, nu fstf pusnnnl cn fl s fn murnt! Ncfst lucru fstf lugnc dunr, snu nu( Fl unsfr! ntr-ndf!r c cf!n nu fstf n urdnnf, dnr fl nu-n puntf f,plncn ncfnstn. Fl nu fstf undf!n n .lumfn df npun/ nnnf sfpnrnt snu ntr-un luc strnn numnt .purgnturnu/. Fl fstf n cuntnnunrf nculu, f,nct nculu, undf fl n murnt. n fl puntf !fdfn n nuzn tutul, chnnr n mnn nnnf dfct nnnntf. $un n sf pnrf dunr cnudnt, c cfnlnln l .lns dfupnrtf/, c fn nu mnn !urnfsc cu fl. Fu nm !zut muln, cnrf nnu cuntnnunt sfr!ncnul! Fn !fnfnu cum frnu unnnunn ncns pfntru n mncn, durmn n mfrgfnu ln mfcnurnlf df futnnl. Fn nu unsfnr! nncn fnptul, c put dfudnt trfcf prnn zndurn n un nchnsf. Muln prn!fsc pruprnn lur nmurmntnrf n sf ntrfnn, cf s-n ntmplnt nnrn. $n sf pnrf ntr-ndf!r cnudnt, c fstf tut tnmpul ntt df ntunfrnc, c sunrflf nu mnn rsnrf, c nu mnn pluu dfluc. *nr fn nu n dnu sfnmn, cf s-n ntmplnt ntr-ndf!r. Muln nn ln nnumntf lucrurn lumftn, pf cnrf lf-nu nunnt, fnf un dulnp, u lnp funrtf frumuns, u cnrtf, cnsn lur snu un nnstrumfnt muzncnl. Fn nu sf put dfsprnndf df cffn cf fstf mntfrnnl. )hnnr dnc ncfstf cu!nntf sun n fn dnn pu!ftn, sunt tutun ndf!rntf! % nu nf nmngnnm ncum nmfdnnt, nn df pnrc nun nm fn .dnnculu/ cu cunutnnn nunstr. Nn s-nr prfn nmfdnnt nltffl mprf urrnlf. *nr cunutnnn nu mnn fstf! *unr fncf pnrtf dnn curp, n ncfln fstf murt! 2mnf dunr suflftul spnrntunl. n ln ncfn unmfnn, cnrf nu s-nu ucupnt df fn n tnmpul !nfnn, fstf ct sf puntf df srnc. Fn fstf .hnndncnpnt spnrntunl/, n ncfnstn n cfn mnn mnrf msur. Ncum sf put nflfgf mnn nnnf ncfstf rfncnn. *uhurnlf sunt dfsfurn mrgnnntf n trfnnn lur prnn rudflf lur nprupnntf. )t df dfs sf ntmpl, c u .sunf nunntunrf/ nu nflfgf pur n snmplu, c suul fn n murnt. Fn n punf cn df unncfn mncnrf n fnrfurnf, !urnftf cu fl cn n nlt dnt, l durftf nprunpf. %nu ntuncn cnd munrf un cupnl, pf cnrf mnmn nu !rfn s-l lnsf s plfcf! Fstf cfl mnn ru lucru, cf sf puntf ntmpln ncfstur suflftf. Fn sunt prnnn n ncfn nunptf n dfsfurn nu nf!unf df funrtf mult tnmp, pn cnd fn gsfsc drumul cfl drfpt. n ct df uur put fn fn n utnn. "rfnunf dunr s-$ rugnn pf 7rnstus, cn Fl s trnmnt un ngfr, cnrf s lf nrntf drumul. Nun trfnunf s nf rugm pfntru ncfnn cnrf nu murnt. Muln sunt nfn uturnn, n cununtfrfn lur fstf fgnl cu cfn n unun cupnl! Fstul nf-n ntrfcut n ncfnstn. 0n "nnft f,nst nn znsn .cnrtf tnnftnn pfntru murn/. ' pnrtf fstf cntnt cu rfgulnrntntf cflun cnrf n dfcfdnt curnd. Ncfnst cnrtf cunnnf tutul, cf trfnunf s tnf fl dfsprf !nnnn df dup munrtf n dfsprf drumul pf cnrf trfnunf s-l mfnrg. Fstf cfl mnn mnrf n utur, cnrf n sf puntf uffrn unun dfcfdnt, dnc fstf *umnfzfu rugnt, cn Fl s-l cunduc sprf drumul cfl drfpt. Nu fstf drfpt cn s fnn df nfcunsulnt ln munrtfn unun um drng. Fu nm trnt ncfnstn chnnr cu tntl mfu. Fl n fust ns ntt df n!nnsnt spnrntunl, c nu n fust rfnnut df ncfst lucru. Muln sunt nc mult prfn unmfnn, cn s punt s stpnfnsc sntunnn. Fn !ur s-n cunsulfzf rudflf n rmn nc mult tnmp mprfun cu flf, nnr ncfst lucru fstf n dffn!unrfn dfz!ultrnn lur. *rngustfn nu nsfnmn, s uprftn pf cnnf!n n dfz!ultnrfn sn. Nnsfnmn n prnmul rnd, s-l lnn s-n mfnrg drumul, dnc fstf pfntru fl mnn nnnf n mnn frumus n s tf nucurn mprfun cu fl! F,nst multf pupunrf, ln cnrf munrtfn unun um fstf u ffstn!ntntf. % tnf fn unrf mnn mult, dfct lumfn cn!nlnznt( Munrtfn nu fstf nncnudnt u cunncndfn, nncnudnt! Nu fstf ncn mcnr u pfdfnps! &fntru nnmfnn! Munrtfn nsfnmn tfrmnnnrfn unun stngnu df dfz!ultnrf. Fstf f,nct ncflnn lucru, cn ln un studnu. "untf mntfrnnlf trfnunf s fnf ucupntf. Nu fstf df fulus, dnc ncfln, cnrf fstf ductur n df!fnnrf, prnmftf urf dunr ln nnntumnf. Nmfdnnt dup cf fl n n!nt ncfnstn, d fl un tfst n ucup u mntfrnf cnrf l ducf sprf spfcnnlnznrf. *nc nu trfcf tfstul, ntuncn trfnunf cn fl s rfpftf dnn nuu cursul. %f mnn puntf ntmpln, c nu trfcf ntr-u nnumnt spfcnnlntntf n tfstulun su, n ntuncn trfnunf fl s rfpftf dunr ncfn pnrtf. Nnr *umnfzfu fstf un pruffsur mnlustn!! Fl nu lns pf cnnf!n s cnd dffnnntn!. Fnfcnrf puntf s rfpftf tfstul. *nr fl trfnunf s tfrmnnf n cursul cnrf fncf pnrtf dnn ncfl tfst. *f ncffn, fnfcnrf ntrfnnrf dup un .*f cf/ fstf nnutnl! )ursul s-n tfrmnnnt, n u nlt mntfrnf sf !n prfdfn n urmturul sfmfstru. Nnmfnn nu cununtf .stnrfn df dfz!ultnrf/ n cflunlnlt. *f ncffn nu puntf spunf nnmfnn- )f rust n n!ut, dnc un cupnl n murnt df n dup duu znlf df ln nntfrfn sn. )hnnr n snrcnnn, dnr mnn nlfs nntfrfn, n chnnr n munrtfn fnc pnrtf dnn mntfrnnlf nunstrf df tfstnrf! Flf cunnn nttfn trnrn, c nncnudnt nu !n fn fr rust, s trnftn .dunr/ ncfst lucru. n muln sunt nf!zturn. 'nul cnrf !fdf ru puntf s !nd lunn. *nr nfnumrntflf n nmfnsflf stflf fl nu lf !n !fdfn nncnudnt. *nr u pusnnnlntntf nrf fl cn s punt nfln ncfnstn- crfdnnn! Fstf nnnf, dnc nn !unf s n un. % nccfpn ns n uturul, s m lns n utnt, ncfst lucru n fust u trnrf nmpurtnnt pfntru mnnf. n fu sunt mulumnt n ffrncnt dnn ncfnst cnuz. *nr cu ct df mult fstf mnn frumus, s pun n utn! *rngustfn fstf cn un numfrnng. Ndf!rntul fgunst fmntf drngustfn, ntt df mult ct puntf fl. Fl u prnmftf ns df sutf df urn nnpun. )u nnnnn fnfcnrf prucfdfnz nn. Nn dfpunf n nnnc, cn s nduc dunnzn. *nr drngustfn, !rfn fnfcnrf s-u nn pfntru fl. )um puntf s nduc ntuncn dunnzn( *umnfzfu trnmntf

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fr ntrfrupfrf drngustf, drngustf curnt. Fl prnmftf df ncffn cfl mnn mult nnpun. )ffn, cf fstf dfscrns prnn fgunsm, fstf f,nct cuntrnrnul. Fstf !urnn df cnnf!n, cnrf n f,punf fguul Andnc pf snnf nsunB n f,tfrnur, fstf ncfln, cnrf nu fstf prfgtnt s n utf n s drunnsc, n cnrf strngf !nlurn mntfrnnlf pfntru snnf. )t df nfffrncnn sunt n rfnlntntf ncftn unmfnn! )t df dfs trfnunf s sf dfspnrt, ct df dfs trfnunf s fug df nlnn, dfunrfcf fn sunt df prfrf, c mnn put prnmn n nlt pnrtf cf!n, cf nc lf lnpfstf! )u tuntf c sunt nugnn, cu tuntf c nu multf nctn!ntn n schnmnrn prfmnnfntf, fn srcfsc cu tutul n nntfrnurul lur. )nnf n cnut ffrncnrfn dunr n lucrurn mntfrnnlf, ncfln n lns spnrntul s munr df funmf n chnnurn! )nnf nn n ncfnrc s mnncf ct mnn mult dnn pr nturn, cnrf fstf pfntru tun, ncfln nu trfnunf s sf mnrf, dnc n sf fncf ru dup ncffn. Ndf!rntul fgunsm fstf ncfln, dnc fu fnc cf!n cf mn nducf un nfnnfncnu, n cf put s pstrfz dup ncffn pfntru mnnf! )fl mnn trznu ntuncn cnd sf nnstnlfnz munrtfn sf .cunfnsc/ nunurnlf mntfrnnlf, dnc nu mnn df!rfmf dnn cnuzn lucrrnlur mflf rflf. Ndf!rntul fgunst strngf cumurn spnrntunlf. )cn pf ncflfn lf puntf lun cu fl n pf lng ncfnstn prnmftf n dunnd, nnr fnfcnrf nnnchnfr nr n!fn dnn cnuzn ncfnstn lncrnmn n uchn. Fu nm supurtnt multf durfrn n ultnmn !rfmf. )u tuntf ncfstfn nm fust fu ffrncnt. % nnn cnnf!n nf!unf df tnnf, s nn !unf s n un, s lucrn nctn! n mnrfn crfnnf n lun *umnfzfu, cf lucru puntf fn, unrf, mnn frumus( )nnf nu n n!ut nncnudnt ncfstf sfntnmfnt, fstf cfl mnn srnc um dnn lumf. 0ntr-u slu n fstf ncfstn cfl mnn nurmnl lucru. *nc nrf cnnf!n un ff nun, sf strdunftf, cum puntf fl mnn nnnf. Fl ncfnrc, sf df!nn df nfprfunt n sf nucur ntuncn cnd l lnud fful su n n d df nflfs, c nrf nf!unf df fl. n n !nn, s fnf unrf chnnr ntt df dnffrnt(

3 Nntr-u zn l-nm ntrfnnt pf Mnchnfl- Nm n uns fu ncum ntt df dfpnrtf cn Nnnndn 2nmn( Nncnudnt nu l-nm !zut fu mnn surprnns. Fu !d df n, c tu nu nn n!nt cfl mnn nmpurtnnt lucru, n tu nu-l !fn nflfgf, nttn tnmp ct !fn n!fn gndurn fgunstf. Fu nm !rut s prutfstfz, fu nm !rut s-n spun, c nm df!fnnt un f,fmplu n drngustfn n umnlnn. Fu nu-n fnc nnmnun !rfun rfpru, chnnr dnc sunt trntnt cu nfdrfptntf. Fu nunfnm pf tunt lumfn, n utnm spnrntunl pf fnfcnrf, fr !rfu dnffrfn. Fu nu m crfdfnm mnn prfsus dfct nltcnnf!n, chnnr n nnnmnlflf n plnntflf lf cunsndfrnm fnrnn n sururnlf mflf. *nr Mnchnfl, cnrf putfn s-mn cntfnsc gndurnlf cn ntr-u cnrtf dfschns, nu n nccfptnt nncn u scuz. "u nn drfptntf, mn-n spus fl. )u tuntf ncfstfn, tu nu nn trfcut nc df ultnmul unstncul. Fstf grfu df f,plncnt, dnr fstf n mnn grfu df nflfs. "u n nunftn pf tun, spun tu. Ncfst lucru fstf drfpt. "u ftn funrtf ffrncnt df ncfst lucru, tf nucurn ntuncn cnd drngustfn tn fstf nccfptnt, tf nucurn df zmnftul df mulumnrf nl cflunlnlt, snu nu( *n, nm spus fu, Ncfst lucru fstf ndf!rnt! Ndf!rntn drngustf nu nrf nf!unf df succfs! Fn sf nucur dunr df fnptul c puntf nunn. Fn nu ntfnpt nncn u rfncnf. *nc tu tf nucurn ntuncn cnd drngustfn tn fstf nccfptnt, ntuncn ftn nutumnt trnst, dnc fn fstf rfspnns, snu nu( *n, nm spus fu, ncfst lucru fstf drfpt! *nr dnc tf fncf ffrncnt dunr fnptul, c nn !unf s dnn drngustf, fr s cnun succfsul( Ntuncn fu nu mnn put fn nfffrncnt! +fzn tu ncum dnffrfnn( *nc nm nunn nun cn n mn urntntfn unmfnnlur, ntuncn nr fn cfrul un ndf!rnt nnd! &lnn df trnstff n suprnrf! )t df dfs nlung unmfnnn drngustfn nunstr( )t df dfs fstf nruscnt *umnfzfu( Fl nr fn prnn urmnrf cfn mnn nfffrncnt crfntur dnn ntrfngn crfnnf! Nntr-ndf!r, drngustfn fstf cn un numfrnng! *nr dunr drngustfn nnsulut n nfmrgnnnt. *nc f,nst nntfnnn, s ntfpn cf!n n schnmn, ntuncn nu fstf nun prnncnpnul. *nr drngustfn, cnrf pur n snmpul nunftf numnn, n utur, cnrf fstf dunr n utur, pfntru c cfllnlt nrf nf!unf df fl, dunr pfntru fnptul c f,nst ncfn pfrsunn, ncfnstn fstf ntuncn drngustf ndf!rnt. *unr fn fncf ffrncnt pf !fcn, n urncf trnstff n nn sfrntul. Ncfnstn nu nsfnmn, c nun suntfm urnn n nu putfm !fdfn suffrnnn. )hnnr dnn cuntr! *nc un cupnl sf nccndfntfnz grn!, df rfgul puntf unul dnn nfnr, cnrf sf cuncfntrfnz nsuprn cupnlulun, s-l n utf mult mnn nnnf dfct mnmn, cnrf fstf cuprnns df trnstff n df durfrf, n cnrf trfnunf s sf luptf cu pruprnnlf fn sfntnmfntf. ' pnuz lung m-n lsnt snngur cu sfntnmfntflf mflf. )f tnnm fu dfsprf drngustf( )f tnu unmfnnn df fnpt dfsprf drngustf( Nu f,nst prunnnnl un nlt cu!nt cnrf nrf nttfn pusnnnlntn. )f tf nucur mnn mult, s n un pf unul snngur, snu pf mnn muln( &f mnn muln, nnnfnflfs! Mnchnfl zmnfn n ncfst lucru fstf grfnt. Fstf unul mnn nfnmpurtnnt dfct mnn muln( Fnfcnrf fstf ln ffl df nmpurtnnt cn cfllnlt. Nu fstf nn cn n ln mfrf, undf duu cntrfsc mnn mult dfct unul snngur. Fnfcnrf nrf fnnnn sn pruprnf. 0n tunt crfnnn nu f,nst duu fnnnf cnrf s fnf ln ffl. *f cffn fstf nmpurtnnt fnfcnrf. *nc nr fn tun ln ffl, ntuncn nn n!fn tu drfptntf. )nncn nr fn ntuncn mnn nmpurtnnn dfct unul snngur. *nr fnfcnrf fstf nltffl, n fflul su fstf df nfnlucunt. *nc tu nn un cfns cu cnncnzfcn df rutnf, n tu nlturn dunr unn snngur, ntuncn cfnsul nu mnn funcnunfnz. &un tu ntuncn s spun, c cflflnltf pntruzfcn n nuu df rutnf sunt mnn

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nmpurtnntf dfct ncfn unn( )u sngurnn nu! nnf nnnf mnntf cf n spun- fnfcnrf fstf nmpurtnnt, ln ffl cn urncnrf nltul. n *umnfzfu nu lns pf nncn unul s sf prpdfnsc. Nncn mcnr unul! *nr !n fn nf!unf ln unnn df ustfnfln mnn mnrn, s-n nducn nnrn pf cnlfn cfn nun, dfct ln nlnn. *nc tu n nrn numnn unun snngur um cnlfn cfn drfnpt, n n!ut !nnn tn cfl mnn mnrf sfns, n tu nu ftn cu nnmnc mnn punn !nluruns n nu nn nfptunt cu nnmnc mnn punn, dfct dnc nn fn n utnt tu cnncnzfcn df unmfnn. *umnfzfu nu fstf un nfgutur df nnnmnlf. Fl nu punf fnptflf pf cntnr, Fl nu msunr n =nlugrnmf snu n chnntnlf. Fl msunr dunr drngustfn, pf cnrf tu nn f,pfdnnt-u. Numnn pfntru ncfnstn ftn tu rfspunsnnnl. %uccfsul, pf ncfstn ls-l n sfnmn lun *umnfzfu. Muln fufnz n ncfnstn. Fu tf-nm dus nlnlt-nfrn n mfdnntnnf ln dunmnn Hnfgflnnufr. "u nn ncfrcnt s-u nlnnn. Fn fstf un f,fmplu df f,cfpnf pfntru ncfnstn. Fn sf plngf mfrfu, c nu f,nst nnmfnn, pf cnrf l puntf n utn. Fn nrf dunr numnn ussflf-ul fn. Fn nr !rfn cu ntt df mult drng s-n n utf pf tun unmfnnn, nr punf cu ntt df mult drng lumfn rfn n urdnnf n l nn!nnunftf pf *umnfzfu, c fl nu-n d nncn u ucnznf, s nfptunnsc fnptf mnn mnrn. n df nttn cumptnmnrf df snnf fn nu fstf n stnrf, s-n n utf Gussflf-ulun fn. Numnn pfntru ncfstn fstf fn nnumf nncn. Fl nrf nf!unf urgfnt df n uturul fn, fl sf dnstrugf, dnc fn fncf nstffl mnn dfpnrtf, n fn n-nr putfn dn nn df mult, c !nnn fn s-nr fn rfntnt df zfcf urn. Nngrn ftf-tf n tnmpul urmtur dnn cnd n cnd df fn, n ncfnrc s-n fncn ncfnstn lnmpfdf. Mnn f,nst nc tutun spfrnn n prn!nnn fn. )n !ur s uncf pf pustul df unmfnn cnrf mnuntfsc lumfn, sf cumplnc cn mnrn !urnnturn, n dfmunstrnnn n n clunurn, dnr nu !d, c ncfln, cnrf sf nfl lng fn, sf dnstrugf, pfntru c fn nu-l unsfr!, pfntru c fl lf pnrf mult prfn nfnmpurtnnt, pfntru c fn nu-l nunfsc, pfntru c fn n rfnlntntf sf nunfsc numnn pf fn nnn. tnn tu ncum, cf fstf drngustfn( &unn nnntut nm dnt fu dnn cnp. Nu fnn trnst. n pfstf ncfst unstncul !fn mnn trfcf tu nc, ntrfngn !fnncnf sf nfl n fnn tn. Nncn fu nu nm tfrmnnnt cu n!turn. Nnmfnn n-n tfrmnnnt !rfudnt cu n!turn. *umnfzfu fstf ntt df nfmrgnnnt, c !fnncnn nu fstf ndfn uns, pfntru n-$ cuprnndf pf dfplnn. *nr ncfnstn fstf chnnr pnrtfn frumuns. &lnctnsfnl nu f,nst nncnudnt. n n!nrfn n muncn nu sunt, cn pf pmnt, lfgntf df ustfnfnl. % n!m n s muncnm fstf cfn mnn nnlt nucurnf pfntru nun. *nc tu nn nflfs drngustfn curnt, ntuncn put fu ncum s-n rspund ln ntrfnnrfn tn- "u ftn df mult df n mult mnn dfpnrtf dfct Nnnndn 2nmn. Nfncrfztunrf m-nm untnt fu ln fl. )um fstf pusnnnl ncfnstn, dfunrfcf fl nfptunftf tutun nn df mnrn fnptf, dfunrfcf fstf fl nn df nflfpt n nun.( "u gndftn df n nnrn ntr-un mud curnt umfnfsc. Nu dup nflfpcnunf trfnunf tu s tf ustfnftn, nu dup fnptf multf. "u trfnunf s-$ nunftn pf *umnfzfu mnn mult dfct pf tnnf nsun n pf nprunpflf tu cn pf tnnf nsun! Ncfnstn fstf tutul! Nstn nsfnmn ns, unt-tf mnn ntn, cn tu s n ungn ln *umnfzfu. Nnsus 7rnstus n numnt cnlfn- Fu sunt cnlfn. Nnmfnn nu puntf n ungf ln "ntl dfct prnn Fnul. *nr, cn df unncfn, nu sf mulumfsc unmfnnn cu cffn, cf cntfsc fn, fn trfnunf s schnmnf nmfdnnt sfnsul. )u ncfnstn nr fn !urnn dfsprf .cuntnfnn lun 7rnstus/. 7rnstus, ncfstn nm fn nun tun, ncfstn nr fn prnncnpnul drngustfn n mnn multf nltflf. Nu! Nnsus spunf funrtf clnr- Fu sunt cnlfn! n Fl s-n rfffrnt ln ncfnstn tf,tunl. )nnf !rfn ntr-ndf!r s n ung ln *umnfzfu, cnnf !rfn s unnn ndf!rnt stnrf df cupnl nl lun *umnfzfu, ncfln trfnunf s mfnrg cnlfn prnn Nnsus 7rnstus. ' nlt cnlf nu f,nst! n ncfnst cnlf sf puntf gsn numnn pf pmnt. )nnf n-n gsnt-u nncn, ncfln n-u !n gsn nncn .dnnculu/! 'nnn nugn n sfnnn, fn nu rfunt funrtf multf, fn nu n uns funrtf dfpnrtf, dn, fn put fnn funrtf nprunpf df *umnfzfu. Fn nu muncnt mult pfntru ncfnstn, nu lunt multf nsuprn lur, nu ndus multf frtff n nu trnt multf lnpsurn n rugcnunf n cnn. Fn nu ndunnt funrtf mult nflfpcnunf. *nr ultnmn u n-u put dfschndf dnn pruprnn putfrf. &f fn u dfschndf Nnsus 7rnstus dunr ncflurn, cnrf l rung umnln pfntru ncfst lucru. Ncfstn fstf cfl mnn mnrf sfcrft nl ntrfgnn crfnnn. Nnnndn 2nmn s-n dfz!ultnt funrtf dfpnrtf. Fl nrf df n df mult ncfnst prfsnmnrf. Fn l-n ndus nncn. *rngustfn lun fstf nn df putfrnnc, fn l !n ducf ntr-un tnmp scurt snu lung ln Nnsus 7rnstus. *nr ncfnstn trfnunf s fnf dfcnznn lun lnnfr. %-l unlngf sprf ncfst lucru, nu nrf nnmfnn !unf. Fl nsun trfnunf s mfnrg cnlfn ln Nnsus 7rnstus. Fl prnmftf ncflfnn n utunrf cn fnfcnrf. *fcnznn trfnunf ns s-u prncnnunnsc !unnn lun lnnfr. Multur unmfnn nflfpn lf fstf funrtf, funrtf grfu, s sf nplfcf n umnlnn. *f ncffn nu fstf nncn ncfnst cnlf cfn mnn uunr. *nr Nnnndn 2nmn !n rfun ncfst lucru. Ncfstn !n fn n succfsul tu. Nnrn m-nm untnt ln fl nfncrfztunrf. Fl tf-n !nzntnt ndfsfn, !un suntfn df n df mult tnmp lfgnn cu u lfgtur putfrnnc n drngustfn. %mfrfnnn tn n supunfrfn tn ndnc fn df Nnsus 7rnstus nu culurnt pn ln cnpt nsuprn lun n sunt n mumfntul, df n-n dfschndf uchnn. +fzn tu ncum, cf fstf drngustfn( Fr n n!fn nntfnnn df succfs, nducf fn u mnnunf dup cfnlnlt ln suprnfn. Nu df nflfpcnunf nn tu nf!unf. *nc *umnfzfu nr fn numnn nflfpcnunf, Fl n-nr fn ndus nncnudnt crfnnn $un ln !nn. Fl nr fn df!fnnt un fnluzuf snngurntnc n s-nr fn nucurnt df nflfpcnunfn %n pn n tuntf !fnncnnlf. Nu! *umnfzfu fstf nunnrf! n drngustfn nu-n u tnnn n duhulun. *rngustfn nu ducf cu!ntrn nflfptf. *rngustfn puntf fn numnn trnt. *rngustfn sf rspndftf mfrfu, ccn, nltffl, fn nu mnn fstf drngustf ndf!rnt. n s sf rspndfnsc puntf drngustfn numnn ntuncn, cnd fstf cnnf!n, cnrf puntf s-u prfnn. %nngurul lucru pf cnrf *umnfzfu l !rfn df ln nun, fstf, cn nun s-$ nunnm dnn !unnn nunstr lnnfr n dnn tunt nnnmn. Fl nsun n ndus ncfnst drngustf n lumf. n numnn prnn Fl, prnn Nnsus 7rnstus, puntf fn unnnut ncfnst cfn

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mnn nnlt drngustf. Nnflfpcnunfn nf !n n!n ntuncn *umnfzfu. Nntrfngn !fnncnf st ln dnspuznnf pfntru ncfnstn. Ncfnstn fstf cnlfn! )utnn mnn ntn mprnn lun *umnfzfu n drfptntfn $un n tuntf ncfstfn sf !ur ndugn !uu. Numnn ncfnstn cuntfnz! Nnmnc nltcf!n! Muln cu u crfdnn putfrnnc trfnunf nstzn s sf mnn lnsf nnt ucurnn, dnn cnuzn .snmplncntnn/ lur. Fn nu sf ustfnfsc dup dftfptcnunf n cunutnn umfnfnsc. Fn crfd pur n snmplu n nunfsc n tunt smfrfnnn. Ffrncnn cfn srncn cu duhul, c n lur fstf mprnn cfrurnlur! Nnumf- ffrncnn ncfnn, cnrf crfd smfrnn, fr cn s trfnunnsc mfrfu s ntrfnf df ndnt sfnsul tuturur lucrurnlur! &rn!fghfnn, n spus Nnsus. n %ntnn dfnnf cununtfrf n mnrf putfrf. n rul fstf n stnrf s nfptunnsc mnnunn n lucrurn mnrn. *nr un snngur lucru nu puntf- s nunfnsc! &fntru c ntuncn nu mnn fstf fl ru! )t df multur unmfnn lf fstf nstzn grfu, s sf ntnfzf df nnsfrnc rfspfctn! s sf sunurdunfzf, ln cnrf multf lucrurn sunt pf dus. Muln prsfsc mnn dfgrnn ntrfgul ndf!r, dfct s suffrf unflf lucrurn, cf nu sunt curfctf. Fn nu rfnlnzfnz, c sntnn n ptruns df n df mult n nnsfrnc n n nfnurucnt-u pnrnnl ntr-un mud funrtf urt. *nr tucmnn ncfnstn fstf tutun du!ndn pfntru mprnn lun 7rnstus. %ntnn nu fncf nncnudnt cf!n fr sfns. Fl n-nr ncfrcn cu tunt putfrfn, s dnstrug nnsfrncn, dnc fl n-nr tn f,nct, c fn n !n frngf ntr-u zn gtul. %fr!ncnul sfcrft tutun nu spnunfnz df rfgul prnftfnul. Nu, dnr n gu!frnul dumnn ptrundf fl n ncfnrc s n ung n cflf mnn nnltf pusturn! n dnc fl s-n fcut stpn pf un gu!frn, ntuncn tutun nu dnstrugf gu!frnul pn ln munrtf. %f ncfnrc mult mnn mult, s fnf ndfprtnn snnuturnn n s sf rfstnnnlfnsc nnrn strn urdunntf. *nc cnnf!n fstf nulnn!, n !un l ducfn ln ductur, ntuncn fl dunr nu-l umunr df tut, cn ncfnrc s-l n utf! *f cf nu fncfn !un cu nncfrncn tut nn( Fn sf nsfnmn cu u curnnnf, cnrf s-n gurnt n nmfnn s sf scufundf. *nc tun lnulnlt nr n utn, nr fn rfpfdf rfpnrnt lucul cu prncnnn, n curnnnn nr putfn s-n cuntnunuf clturnn fn. 0n luc df ncfnstn sf scnp fr mnntf muln n nrcnlf df snl!nrf. Numnn c - rmul sngur nu-l n ung fn nstffl nncnudnt. Furtunnlf !nfnn n fnc pf cfn mnn muln dnntrf fn s sf scufundf! *nr df cf pfrmntf *umnfzfu, cn muln dnntrf cupnnn $un s fnf nlungnn nfnr dnn nnsfrnc( *f cf nu nntfr!nnf Fl( &fntru c *umnfzfu nu-n ncnlc nncnudnt pruprnnlf %nlf lfgn! *nc Fl nr nntfr!nnn dnrfct, nr dnstrugf Fl tutun !unnn lnnfr n unmfnnlur. Ncfnstn n-u puntf Fl !rfn nncnudnt. *nr Fl ncurd nn df mult sprn nn! n nncn nu sunt ncftnn AncB cupnnn $un, cnrf sunt nlungnn nfnr. )upnnn $un l cunusc n l nunfsc. n drngustfn nccfpt n umnlnrn, fn puntf supurtn multf n puntf s trfnc multf cu !fdfrfn. Ncfnn cnrf sf snmt dfrnn nn df tuntf, ncfnn cnrf crntnc n cundnmn tuntf, ncfnn nc nu nu drngustfn. Fu dunr n crfdf, dnc ..., ncfnstn n-u spunf drngustfn nncnudnt. n numnn fn fstf ncffn, cnrf cuntfnz. *nr cnd!n udnt sf !n ntunrcf fnfcnrf. &nldn dfsprf fnul pnfrdut, ncfnstn fstf !nlnnnl pfntru fnfcnrf. 'nnn trfnunf mult tnmp s pftrfnc ntrf strnnn, pn cf fn rfcunusc pruprnn nfputnn n sf rfnturc n smfrfnnf n drngustf ln "ntl. *nr nu fnn df ncffn trnst. 'n sprf "nrl rmnf tutdfnunn dfschns! Fl n-u !n trntn nncnudnt! n nncn unul dnntrf fn nu fstf df ncffn mnn punn !nlurus! "ntl nu fncf dnffrfnnfrn! Fl l nunftf pf fnfcnrf dnntrf cupnnn %n ln ffl, nu fstf nmpurtnnt, ct df mult tnmp n fust fl ntrf strnnn. )nf !nnf ln "ntl, pf ncfln l !n prnmn Fl cu nrnflf dfschnsf. Nncnudnt nu-l !n pfdfpsn - snu chnnr s-l nruncf n fuc! +rfmfn, n cnrf n fust fl ntrf strnnn, ncfstn fstf tnmpul nfnurucnrnn, nl srcnfn, ncfnstn fstf u ndfn uns .pfdfnps/. %ntnn nu nscult cu drng ncfst mfsn . Fl n ncfrcnt df n dnntutdfnunn tutul, s l prfschnmnf n cuntrnrnul lun! n nn df muln sf lns cu plcfrf pclnn df fl. *n! *nr trfnunf tutun s f,nstf u pusnnnlntntf, s rupn stpnnrfn lun, s n sf dfslufnsc fnfcrunn ncfstf lfgturn lugncf. 'ntf, fu tf nm pf tnnf. Fr tnnf n-n fn n uns nncnudnt nn df dfpnrtf. *f cf n-nu tun un ngfr, cnrf n cunducf( Mnchnfl s-n untnt stupffnnt ln mnnf. Nu tnn ncfst lucru( Fnfcnrf nrf un ngfr! Numnn c nncn tu nu pun s !fzn nc tutul! Fnfcrunn n st un ngfr nlturn, tut nn cn n fu nf. n fnfcnrf nrf pusnnnlntntfn, s nn cuntnct cu ngfrul su. )fn mnn muln cupnn mncn mnn put nc s sf untf n lumfn nunstr. *nr, df ndnt cf fn put !urnn n put pu!fstn dfsprf ncfnstn, lf fstf scuns ncfnstn dnn cnp cn fnnnd u nnurfnl df fnntfznf. Mfrfu nnrn ncfrcm nun s nf fncfm unsfr!nnnln n lf dm unmfnnlur gndurn nunf. *nr dnc fn lf ndupt pf ncfstfn, ncfnstn sf nfl n !unnn lur lnnfr. *nc pf cnnf!n l lu!ftf cuntnnnn snu dnc !nn scrupulf, ntuncn sf nfl funrtf dfs ngfrul su n spntflf ncfstur lucrurn. *nr cfl mnn ndfsfn sunt sugfstnnlf lur pur n snmplu dntf ln u pnrtf, n tnmp cf nnsnnurnlf rulun sunt lncum prfluntf. %ntnn n rfunt, cn cfn mnn muln unmfnn s nu mnn crfnd n f,nstfnn nunstr. )um pun ncum s nsculn df cnnf!n, dfsprf cnrf sf crfdf, c fl nncn mcnr nu f,nst( %trfsul znlnnc, hntunnln n nflnnntfn mpnfdnc urncum urncf cuntnct cu lumfn duhu!nncfnsc. Nnumntf snrcnnn df prutfcnf n schnmn f,frcntm nun ntutdfnunn. &fntru fnfcnrf um. Nun prutf m trupul n sumn, cnd duhul mfrgf pf clturnf, nun rfspnngfm ntncurnlf rulun nsuprn !nfnnlur !unstrf, cflf multf nccndfntf .dnn ntmplnrf/, pf cnrf fl !n lf-n gtnt. Nns, ncfnst .snrcnn n ngfrulun pzntur/ fstf numnn pnrtfn fnrfnsc, mnn mnc n snrcnnnn nunstrf. "u nn n cnmfrn tn u ncunn ntrnnt, n cnrf un ngfr pzntur cunducf un cupnl pfstf un pud. Ncfnstn fstf u ncunn cu u nur mnnunnt. )nnf n pnctnt-u, ncfln n!fn un cuntnct nntfns cu lumfn duhu!nncfnsc. Fl putfn s-n dfschnd lnrg duhul su n putfn s-n nsufnsc uscnlnnnlf nunstrf, pf cnrf fl lf-n trnnspus n nmngnnf. Nncn fstf !urnn df pudul duhu!nncfsc, cnrf cn u crru ngust ducf dnnculu dnn lumfn mntfrnnl n mprnn lun *umnfzfu. Ncfnstn fstf snrcnnn nunstr pruprnu zns, mult mnn nmpurtnnt. )unducturn duhu!nncfsc !rfm nun s lf fnm unmfnnlur. Numnn c - nncn nrf tucmnn n !unnn lnnfr nntf cu!nnflf df spus. Nun nu n!fm !unf s f,frcntm nncn un ffl df cunstrngfrf. Nun lf-nm prncnnun

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nltffl unmfnnlur u pngun nrfpnrnnnl. &fntru c dnc !unnn nr fn rupt prnn cunstrngfrf, cfl lnnfr nr df!fnn pfntru tutdfnunn un scln!. Ncfnstn fstf chfnn sprf nflfgfrfn lumnn! n ncfnstn nf fncf snrcnnn nunstr nn df nfsfrnt df grfn. *nr tuntf cflf, cf lf cfrfn df ln nun, n!fm !unf s lf fncfm pfntru !un! "untf cf lf punfn ncrfzturn n mnnnlf nunstrf, lf !um rfzul!n pfntru !un. Ncfnstn fstf tut nn !nlnnnl pfntru lucrurnlf duhu!nncftn ct n pfntru cflf lumftn. +un nncn nu nf putfn fncf prfn mult munc, pfntru c munc n sfnsul !ustru, cnrf fstf lfgnt df ustfnfnl n df tnmp, nu f,nst tutun pfntru nun. )ffn cf ! fstf !uu ustfnfnl, fstf pfntru nun u nucurnf. )u ct mnn multf !un nf ncrfdnnnn, cu ct mnn mult nf lsnn s nfptunm, cu ntt mnn strns !n fn cuntnctul nustru ctrf !un. +un ! putfn lsn purtnn df usnlnnnlf nunstrf, n tuntf cflf, cf !un nn lf ncrfdnnnn, !ur fn nrnn ntf sprf nnnflf !ustru. Nnnfnflfs, sprf nnnflf !ustru! Ncfnstn nsfnmn ns dfsfurn- Nu nn, prfcum !un ! nchnpunn ncfnstn, nncn nfnprnt n tnmpul, pf cnrf l-nn gndnt !un pfntru ncfnstn. )nnf nrf prn!nrf nlnrg, ncfln !fdf cfl mnn ndfsfn nltf n mnn nunf cn, dfct ncfln, cnrf sf nfl mputmulnt n mlntnn. "untf cflf, cf trfnunf !un s lf fncfn, fstf s ! rugnn, s crfdfn, s n!fn ncrfdfrf n s f,frcntnn rndnrf. "ut nn cum fu nm fust mfrfu nlturn df tnnf, tut nn fstf ln fnfcnrf. )t df nntfnsn! !n df!fnn rflnnn, ncfnstn sf nfl numnn n mnn !unstr. % crfnd n nun n s tnf dfsprf nun, ncfst lucru l puntf fncf fnfcnrf, cnrf nf nmnfnz prunlfmflf snlf, nunnnd n cu ncrfdfrf, n !n nnf dnntr-u dnt rfzul!nrfn n mnnnlf snlf. N nntrn ntr-un cuntnct duhu!nncfsc cu nun, ncfst lucru sf puntf numnn n lnnntf, prnn rugcnunf n mfdntnnf n rndnrf. )t df mult f,frsnn !un, pfntru n n!n pfrffct u lnmn strnn( )t df muln nnn n!nn !un zn df zn, urf n nr( *nn prncnnn n cf ffl df scupurn mncn dfz!ultnn !un ctfudnt u fnfrgnf n pfrsf!frfn nmfns( n ct df mult tnmp n!fstnn !un znlnnc n curpul !ustru, pfntru n-l nntrfnn n n-l nfrumusfn( Nnmfnn nu-n !n pstrn trupul. 0n prnf nu sf mnn !d muchnn, nncn nu mnn dfrnn fnz rndurnlf. N-nr fn !rfdnnc n ustfnfnln, s-n rfzfr!fzn n fnfcnrf zn ctf!n mnnuntf, pfntru n nntrn n lfgtur cu *umnfzfu n lnnntf n rugcnunf n mfdntnnf( )u *umnfzfu n cu nun, cnrf ! cunducfm dup !unnn $un n ! ncumpnnnm pf cnlfn nsprf Fl! *f n n !nnn !unstr nctunl nn prnmn !un multnplu nnpun tnmpul pf cnrf !un l pftrfcfn n lnnntf. ' lucrnrf, pf cnrf u ncfpfn cu nun, rfuftf! Nnfptunrfn !unstr, ln cnrf !un ! rugnn dup n uturul nustru, nu !n fn fr succfs! )lturnn, pf cnrf u plnunn cu nun n ln cnrf nf lunn cu !un, nu sf !n sfrn n hnus! )fnrtn, pf cnrf nf-u ncrfdnnnn sprf nplnnnrf, fstf df n pf umtntf sfnrnt! Grn nlf !unstrf sf !ur rnsnpn n prunlfmf !unstrf !ur fn rfzul!ntf n umtntf df tnmp! )t df multf lucrurn fncfn !un, n crur succfs !un nu-l cununtfn, pf cnrf !un nu lf putfn !frnfncn( &f nun nf putfn !frnfncn! *f n dup un tnmp scurt! 'ndf fstf u !unn, nculu fstf n u cnlf, n crunn n lnpsftf !unnn, ncflunn nu-n fulusftf nncn cfn mnn lnrg cnlf! +fzn tu ncum, cum s-nu rfzul!nt tuntf( &fntru fnfcnrf fstf pnrcnt n fnn unn u mnnn. *unr s cunduc, trfnunf fl snngur! n dnc nn lns furnt muturul, snu dnc tunrn np n rfzfr!ur, snu dnc lf d !unf prnftfnnlur, s cunstrunnsc dnn run supurturn pfntru spun, ntuncn nu nrf !unf fl s dfn !nnn pf mnnn. *nc !rfn tutun s n ung ln cnptul prupus, trfnunf s mfnrg pf us drumul lung n plnn df unstnculf - snu s-n rfpnrf dnn nuu mnnnn. Fu nm fust ct sf puntf df ngruznt df cffn, cf fu nm nuznt mnn nnnntf. $n ncfst lucru fu nu m-nm gndnt. *f cf sunt unrf unmfnnn ntt df urnn( %ntnnn fstf ntt df dftfpt n df !nclfnn, n nnmfnn nu-n puntf n ungf ln nns n ncfst dumfnnu. Fl lf d unmfnnlur u nucnt df znhr, n n tnmp cf fn l df!urfnz cu lcumnf, lf fur fl mnnnn. *up ncffn spunf, c nu n f,nstnt nncnudnt !rfunn. n cfn mnn muln l crfd pf cu!nt. n muln n mnn nccfpt uffrtn, prnn cnrf sf sf lnsf dun u nucnt dnn drum! Fn sf lns lfgnn ln uchn df fl n nu unsfnr!, c fl n ducf n dnrfcnn upus! 'h, dnc nr tn fn, c ntrfg drumul nnrupt trfnunf s-l pnrcurg pf us! *nr trfnunf cn s tf pun prutf n n !rfun ffl. Nnnfnflfs c fstf pusnnnl! "u tf-nn prutf nt cu mnrf succfs. Nrmflf sunt- rugcnunfn, mfdntnnn - n drngustfn! Mnn nlfs drngustfn! 8 0n znun df rusnlnn m-nm mnuln!nt fu dfudnt ru df tut. ' tumunrf mnrf s-n furmnt n cnpul mfu. Nnupfrnnnl nu sups ducturnn. *nr drngustfn pf cnrf fu nm sdnt-u, n prnns flunrf. Mnnmn m-n lunt nmfdnnt dnn spntnl n m-n ndus lng fn ncns. Fn lucrn ncum dunr umtntf df zn, n n ncfl tnmp n!fn grn u !fcnn df mnnf. Mnmn n trfnunt s rfnunf ln fnurm df mult lucrurn, dnr ncfst lucru nu u mnn dfrnn n prfn tnrf. $ucrurn mntfrnnlf nu mnn nsfmnnu pfntru fn prfn mnrf lucru. Fn nu mnn cunsumn nlcuhul, chnnr n df fumnt s-n lsnt fn. Nu mnn frn nfcfsnr pfntru fn, dfunrfcf fn n-n gsnt lnnntfn. Nprunpf c nr fn nccfptnt chfmutfrnpnn uffrnt. *nr fu nm putut s-u fnc s nflfng, c fu nu durfnm ncfnstn. )hnnr n ducturul n nflfs ncfnst durnn. $n u nstffl df tumunrf nu sunt nnsflf n nn prfn mnrn, n fust prfrfn lun. &untf c nr trn punn mnn mult, dnr cu sngurnn nu !n trn mnn ffrncnt. *nc rmnf lng fn n u ngrn nn, n !n nmnntn cu sngurnn df ultnmnlf clnpf nlf !nfnn. *nc durfrnnlf !ur fn prfn mnrn, ! !un n utn ln urncf ur. Fu nm fust nucuruns c nm prnmnt un ductur nn df nflfgtur. )u tuntf c tnnm cf nsfmnn ncfnst nunl pfntru mnnf, n cu tuntf c m nucurnm n u nccfptnm cu rndnrf, n!fnm tutun punn frnc df cffn cf !n urmn

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pfntru mnnf. +ur fn unrf durfrnnlf ntt df cruntf( +un putfn unrf s rfznst( )u durfrn pfrmnnfntf frnm unnnunt, n fu putfnm s nfs ln cnpt cu flf. 0n prnmflf lunn frn df supurtnt, fu lunm dunr rnrfurn cnlmnntf. Mnmn sttfn df multf urn lng mnnf. Fn n n!nt s cumunncf cu mnnf n tcfrf. Fr cu!nntf, dunr cu snmurnlf. Fu frnm ntt df nucuruns s !d, ct df dfpnrtf n n uns fn. *f ln Nnnndn 2nmn n n!nt fn s sf rungf n s mfdntfzf, n fn n fust u flf! snlntunrf. Nun nf ndncfnm dfsfurn n lnnntfn spnrntulun n nf unfnm prnntr-u nnnd n drngustfn, nn cum nm cunuscut fu ncfnstn dunr ln tntn. "ntl mfu frn dfsfurn cu nun, n chnnr n mnmn putfn s-n snmt prfzfnn. *f ctf!n urn nm rfunt, s-u nnu pf mnmn sus, s-n nruncf ctf!n .prn!nrn/ n lumfn spnrntunl. )hnnr n frnnn mfn m !nzntnu unfurn. 0ncftul cu ncftul n ncfput n ln fn s sf tupfnsc durntntfn lur n s sf nmunnf nmngnnfn mntfrnnl. %chnmnnrfn mnmfn n-n pus pf gndurn. Fn nu unsfr!nt c nu st n fnn lur .u sur n rugcnunnn/, cnrf n ncfput s-n fnf frnc ln ntrnffs cnrf ncfnrc s snl!fzf, cffn cf nc sf puntf snl!n. +nnrnnnlf fn frn purf n ndf!rntf, drngustfn fn frn nun. Fn nu trfnunn s !urnfnsc multf, sf putfn snmn, sf putfn !fdfn pf chnpul fn. Mult s-n rugnt fn pfntru frnnn mfn, mult s-n gndnt fn ln fn. n .ln!nnn/ fn !n df!fnn ntr-u nun zn funrtf mnrf. 3 "rfnzfcn n trfn df nnn nm mplnnnt fu nfrn, n tnnm, c ncfnstn !n fn ultnmn mfn zn df srnturnrf. Fu frnm prfgtnt s sufr, frnm ffrncnt, c n!fnm !unf s ndnug n fu nucntn mfn - dnr frnm tuun nucuruns s tnu, c nu !un mnn fn pfnrtu mult tnmp lfgnt df ncfst curp. 'n culn!nfn frn df n dfschns, pnsrfn frn prfgtnt s znunrf, ntfptn dunr sfmnnlul. )u tuntf ncfstfn m npucn ctfudnt tfnmn! Mnchnfl m-n n!frtnznt df n dnn tnmp. Fnn ntfnt, mn-n spus fl, dunnnlf npnr dnn nuu! $n sfrnt mnn strngf nc u dnt %ntnnn mfnghnnn. Fl sf fulusftf df nfsngurnn, rfstul ncfln, cnrf sf nfl ntrf crfdnn n stnnn. Fu nm !zut prfn multf, nm trnt prfn multf, pfntru n dnspfrn. )hnnr n dup cf nu mnn n!fnm putfrf, s m rffugnfz ln Mnchnfl. *nr fu putfnm snmn nfpturnlf df nc, cnrf trfnunnu s m fnc nfsngur, n fu put s-n nflfg pf tun, cnrf sunt stpnnn df dunnn n chnnr dnc sunt crfdnncnun dnu nnpun n sf lupt cu frncn lur. *nr cnnn n n!nt pf !rfmurn nunf s sf rungf, !n putfn trfcf n pfstf ncfstf tfmfrn. Fu frnm nprunpf n ntrfgnmf pnrnlnznt n nu mnn putfnm nncn cu cfn mnn nun !unn s supurt durfrnlf, dunr cucnlmnntf tnrn. Fu df nnnn mnn putfnm s nghnt, mncntul n df!fnnt un chnn. "ut mnn dfs pncnm fu ntr-un sumn ndnc n nncuntnfnt. "ut mnn dfs !fdfnm fu chnpurn n !ns. *f unncfn frn ngfrn, cnrf m !nzntnu n n dfschndfnu cu tnndrff nrnpnlf lur dfnsuprn mfn. *nr mnn frnu n cnucnnturn nfgrf, cnrf sttfnu mnn ln dnstnn ln pnd, dnr cnrf nu rfufnu s sf nprupnf df ncfn ngfrn. Nntr-u nun zn nu !fnnt sprf mnnf trfn mnnunnn n mnrn ngfrn. Fn nu ndus n pfntru mnnf u pfrfchf df nrnpn. )n n fluturnn nf-nm urcnt nun n nfr n nm znurnt sprf sunrf. )fn mnn mnrf ffrncnrf m-n nnundnt pf mnnf. Ntuncn m-nm nturs fu, n nm !zut n dfprtnrf mnrf sun mnnf u cnmfr. Nntr-un pnt frn un curp ndurfrnt, cnrf sf nturcfn dnntr-u pnrtf n cfnlnlt df durfrf n cnrf sf luptn cu munrtfn. ' ffmfnf sttfn n plngfn nfn uturnt nlturn, n spntflf fn sf nflnu dun ngfrn, cnrf u cunsulnu. Ffmfnn s-n untnt n sus ln mnnf - frn mnmn mfn! Fu frnm ncfnn, cnrf sf zntfn nculu us cu munrtf! Nu frn un !ns! Fu nm fust flnnfrnt! Fu frnm lnnfr! n ntuncn nm !zut fu dnn nuu, mnn mnrf n mnn strlucntur dfct urncnd%unrflf! %unrflf mfu! Nnsus )hrnstus! &lnn df nucurnf n mulumnrf nm pncnt fu n gfnunchn. Fu nu nm murnt! Nu! Fu m-nm nscut! Mnchnfl m-n rndncnt, tntn n fust nculu mprfun cu surn Gnrcnn. Fu frnm nnrn ncns! Mnchnfl mn-n ntnns u cup cu cflf mnn mnnunntf fructf pf cnrf fu lf-nm !zut !rfudnt. Mnnc, pun n!fn nf!unf df u ntrnrf. )f ffl df fructf sunt ncfstfn( Flf n npnrnn. Fu lf-nm pstrnt pfntru tnnf. %unt fructflf pf cnrf tu lf-nn culfs pf pmnt. Mn n mn nm mfrs nun sprf cns, n dnrfcnn ncflfn lumnnn. 3333 FPNLUG LN N 2-N FDNNF "frnturnnlf spnrntunlf nu sf put nflfgf prnn cunutnn. *nn cuntr- df multf urn nf st n drum. Fncf pnrtf dnn curp n puntf pfrcfpf dunr cffn., cf n trnnsmntf cflf cnncn snmurn nlf nunstrf. Ncurdul cumun, cnrf n nflnt ncfnst cnrtf, m nucur funrtzf tnrf. ) nu mnn fust prnntrf flf rfmrcn crntncf, n chnnr !ucn cnrf sf mputrn!fnu, m-n mpnns sprf fnptul, df n f,plncn ctf!n lucrurn n ncfst fpnlug. Fu nm ncfrcnt s nrt nfmrgnnntn drngustf n lun *umnfzfu, cnrf cuprnndf pf tuntf fnnnflf n cnrf fstf cu mult mnn mnrf n cuprnnztunrf, dfct nun nf-nm putfn nmngnnn. Multf lucrurn puntf c sunt n rfnlntntf nltffl, nun nu putfm s lf pfrcfpfm cu nflfgfrfn nunstr mnc n lumfnsc. *unr )hrnstus ducf sprf "ntl, n Fl fstf drumul! *nr pf cnnf cunducf Fl, cnd n cum pf ncfl drum, fu nu put s m prunun ln ncfnstn. *unr un lucru tnu cu sngurnn- *uhul %u, *uhul %u sfnt, ndnf pfstf tut, chnnr n n nfnrn nnsfrncnlur. &rnn fructflf lur n !fn rfcununtf "rfnunf dunr cn s dfschndfm uchnn n s nf nmnntnm df cfn mnn nmpurtnnt purunc n %nNunnn-! ...! *unr nstn cuntfnz! Nu nf putfm nnrncndn n spntflf dugmflur, n lfgnnlur n n cundnmnrnnlur#

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*umnfzfu gsftf pf fnfcnrf, n dup ncffn l msunr prnn drngustfn ncfstunn pfntru nprunpflf su.! Nnsfrncn, spu!fdnnnn, sncrnmfntflf, ct df nfnsfmnntf sunt flf, dnc nu cunduc sprf umnlnn n sprf drngustf, n ct df mrff sunt ntuncn cnd nf dnu putfrfn, s crftfm n drngustfn lun )hrnstus! Fu lf mulumfsc n!turnnlur mfn spnrntunln. )ununtfrfn lur, rndnrfn lur n drngustfn lur mn-nu dfnschns drmul spnrntunl n cu ncfnst cnrtf tuturur cflurn, cnrf cnut s fnf umnln. 'ndf sunt strnnf cu!nntf n lntfrf, nculu putfm s mfrgfm n lnnntf n s snmnm !nnrnnnlf, cnrf sf nscund n spntflf cu!nntflur n s nf lsm dus df fn. Nfn nmnn Elfnn, nunfmnrnf 1?>>

*rngustfn lun *umnfzfu fstf tfmn prnncnpnl dnn crnnlf lun Nnn nmnn Elfnn ....nncn vurn df nnd .... nncn vurn df munr f Ncfstf crn sunt dnscursurn nfucntf dfsprf drngustfn lun *umnfzfu. Nfn nmnn Elfnn d n !nlfng pcntul df munrtf n tuturur rflngnnlur- &f *umnfzfu s-$ fnc um n !fnncn, nfmrgnnntn n pfntru nun nfnmngnnnnnln drngustf n %n s-u scurtfzf n s-u ngrdfnsc. Fl du!fdftf lnpfdf n pf nflfsul tuturur, df cf drngustfn lun *umnfzfu nu puntf n!fn mnrgnnn n nu sf uprftf nncn n fnn nndulun, dn mnn nlfs nculu fstf mnn f!ndfnt - nnnfnflfs dnc dugmflf nunstrf, nn!ndnn n durnnn nunstr df putfrf nu nf nchnd uchnn pfntru n !fdfn ncfnstn! )I2JN &FN"2' )'&NN *F N8FNGNMNN E$FNN !UN"F#FLF LFNN $ U"KN% LFN&DN ' mnnunnt cnrtf pfntru cupnn, cu 14 df unncfn nmngnnn dunlf dfsfnntf cu ncunrflf cnrf nu !r fsc dunr cupnnn. Fstf cnrtfn ngfrnlur pfntru cupnn. *fschndf uchnn pfntru lumfn spnrntunl n fstf cntnt cu ncfnnn plncfrf df cupnn n df nduln. !UN"F#FLF LFNN $ '(NN #UPN#ULUN Nl dunlfn !ulum n urncflulun $fnn, cu ncflnn nmngnnn. NFN) "FGFLF PU"#NLU" MN*+"F,N ' cnrtf pfntru cupnn cu !rstf ntrf > - >; df nnn. Nncn pu!fstftf Nfn nmnn Elfnn u pu!fstf drgu df nnnmnlf dfsprf un mnc purc mnstrf pf numf Nfn, cnrf frn df n dnntutdfnunn mnn nltffl dfct cfnlnln. Fl sf znntf cu multf lucrurn cnrf nstzn sunt ln urdnnfn znlfn, fr n n!n cf!n dnn flf. *n, n pn cnd df!nnf Nfn rfgflf purcnnlur mnstrfn, trfnunf s mnn trfnc pfstf multf n!fnturn ' cnrtf df rs -n pfntru n gndn. NN*U* #."N*+U* /N MNJLU#UL NU*+"U )nrtfn trnnsmntf u !fdfrf ndnc n lumfn spnrntulun- gndurn, rugcnunf, mfdntnnf. ' pnrtf prnctnc cunducf pns cu pns n pf nflfsul tuturur sprf u mfdntnnf crftnn ndnc.

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NFNJNMNN KLFNN N CUNUTN TU NGFRUL TU? 1 Frn nunptf, ntuncn cnd s-n nscut Nnrnnrn. Mftrn ntrfgn df nmfn nu ngrupnt ultnmflf rfsturn df drngustf pfntru nprunpflf sun flf. Frngul nnfn nrn cn un dfmun df tfmut n ghfnrflf snlf. Nunptfn n mncnt lumnnn, n spus u dnt Mnchnfl. n cu fl n dnsprut n cldurn. N rmns dunr frngul. Frngul nghfnt! Gfrul n zpndn nnundfnt nu dunurt df n df ctf!n znlf stlpul df curfnt ln pmnt. "fhnncn n fust n!nns# frn ntunfrnc n rfcf. $fmnflf n lumnrnlf fcfnu tut cf lf sttfn n putnn. %f upunfnu nupnn cu punn cldur, n lnnntf n nfunsfr!ntf sf nrdfnu n drngustf, fr n sf rftrngf n fr n spunf cf!n - n fr n ntfptn cf!n n schnmn. &rnn munrtf crfnu !nn prnn lumnn n cldur %nngurntnc n n lnnntf frn mncn cns n mn lucul zpfznn. Nncn u mun, nncn nu ductur nu n !fnnt, fn nncn mcnr nu nu ncfrcnt s n ung nncn. Frn grunznnc! ' putfrf cnudnt !runn s m strn!fnsc. Fu snmfnm frngul, n durfnm s m nturc. Mnchnflf, n ut-m! 'ndf rmnfn fl( Fl n prumns dunr, c nu m !n prsn. Mnchnfl! Fu nm fust strn!nt nn df pnrc m-nr fn npucnt nntf clftn df ufl. )f n fust pn ncum pfntru mnnf scut n sngurnn, nmfnnnn s m dnstrug. *nr cf!n nu n lsnt cn ncfnstn s sf ntmplf. *f n nm nntrnt ntr-un tunfl strmt, n ln cnptul ncfstunn pndfn frngul. ' frnc df pnnnc m-n npucnt. Fu ncfrcnm s m mputrn!fsc, fu !runnm nnpun. *nr prfn trznu! Fstf un nnnt( +ucfn fr tun n mnmfn mflf n mnn lsnt luc punn curnuzntnn. "rfnunn cfl punn s fn fust nnnt. "ntn nu n rspuns. Fl m nnfn nfn uturnt n mnnnlf snlf mnrn, prutfctunrf. Fu frnm fnpn, nu frnm n stnrf s m mnc. Nncn un strngt, nncn u nnhnlnrf, nnmnc. Frngul n ctngnt. Fstf munrt( Fu nm nuznt dnn nuu u !ucf munutun# dup ncffn m-n cuprnns nnrn ntunfrncul, ndnc, nunptfn fr sfrnt. Fu znurnm cn u pnsrf, cn un mnc culnnru, cu hrnncnf df ln u flunrf df lutus ln nltn. $ncul frn mpnznt df nuffrn, sunrflf lumnnn n nclzfn, nrurn df nnurn mncn sf dfsprnndfnu dnn nnrnn udnt df ruu. ' unpt ncfnt ntfn pf ln fs, suflnrfn lun *umnfzfu sf udnhnfn pfstf tut. *fudnt n scunpnt fuc pmntul dnn fnn mfn. %unftul nsurzntur mn-n rupt pur n snmplu urfchnlf. Mnrusul df sulf sf snmfn, dnn grunpn df pf pmnt nsfmntunrf n unun crntfr n znurnt dnrfct sprf mnnf u urnn cnucnntunrf. Nrnpnlf fn urnnf mn tnnu urncf pusnnnlntntf df scpnrf. Frncn m sugrumn, curznlf !ucnlf n ncftnu nctn!ntntfn n n lsnt s munr nptul mfu df frnc. *up ncffn nu n mnn fust nnmnc. 'n nnmnc ndnc, ntunfcnt. *urn mult, mult prfn mult. )nd curpul mfu sf unnnunn df n ncftul cu ncftul cu munrtfn, nu ncfput dnn nuu s-mn lucrfzf plmnnn. *nr lnpsn df u,ngfn n lsnt df n urmf ndncn n crfnfrul mfu. Ncum frn lnmpfdf- Fu nu !un fn nncnudnt .nurmnl/. Mnchnfl n spus-# +n fn funrtf grfu, dnr tu nu !fn rfgrftn. )t df dfs m !un mnn gndn fu ln ncfnst prupuznnf! Fu nu-n nflfgfnm nc sfnsul. Ncum frn lnmpfdf, df nfcuntfstnt. Fu frnm nsfmnnt, u !nn ntrfng !un fn hnndncnpnt. Mnchnfl, n ut-m! )f m !n ntmpnnn( +un putfn fu unrf rfun( +un fn fu unrf !rfudnt ffrncnt( Nm s put n!fn fu snngur grn df mnnf snu !un dfpnndf u !nn ntrfng df nun!unnn nlturn( 0n mnrf tnnm fu df n cf sf !n ntmpln. Mnchnfl n !urnnt tutul cu mnnf, m-n n!fsflnt, mn-n dnt curn . "untf hnltflf nmpurtnntf dnn !nnn mfn, mn lf-n f,plncnt, sfnsul lur, pusnnnlntnlf n tuntf nnsflf. +n fn grfu, n spus fl, n fu nm fust df ncurd. *nr tuntf ncfstfn s-nu ntmplnt n mprf urrn lnnntntunrf. Fr nf!unf, fr nuln, fr suffrnnf, dunr ffrncnrf n drngustf n nnundfn. N fn putut fu unrf s-mn dnu sfnmn ntuncn, cf m ntfptn df fnpt, nncn( Nm fust fu n stnrf, s m gndfsc ln ncfnst !nn, s snmt mcnr cum fstf fn( Nmnntnrfn

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ncfnstn s-n tfrs. *nn cf n cf mnn mult plfn, nmngnnnlf df!fnfnu nfclnrf. )n nntf nucn df cfn mnn nprfnu flf dnn lncul untrnn, pfntru n sf dfstrmn nmfdnnt df chnnurnlf !nfnn. n nn frn funrtf nnnf. Nu nr fn fust pusnnnl nltffl, s fncn fn unfn !nfn plnn df nfn unsurn, dfznmgnrn n dnsprfunrn. Nncnudnt nu nm mnn fust fu nn df snngur, nn df nfn uturnt. "rupul n spnrntul s-nu unnt, zdrunnt n mpnns df ctuflf mntfrnfn, df nlfstfmul rulun. Nncnudnt nu m-n mnn ntnns cu nttn putfrf, dfct ln nntfrfn mfn, nmngnnfn cdfrnn dnn pnrndns. &untf s fnf !rfun cuntrnst mnn mnrf( *rngustf n cldur nfmrgnnnt, lnnntf fr lnmntf, n!luntf ntr-u mnrf df tnndrff n nnundfn, znurn u ntlnf cu u fur df nfnmngnnnt. Nmprf urnrfn cnrf mnn nnnntf n fust nn df prutfctunrf, df!nnf un dfmun, ncfnrc s strn!fnsc mncul curp n l fncf s sf zgudunf cn un mnc cutfrmur. )u fur fstf fl mpnns sprf ncfl cnnnl, cnrf cunsducf nfnr n frng, n ngntnnf n nflnnntf. %pnrntul snmtf, c lnnfrtntfn sn sf dfstrnm. *unr cu grfu sf prfd fl n nchnsunrfn curpulun, tnnnd nnnf, c un df cflul !n rmnf pfntru fl mult tnmp nchns - rfnnut n curpul unun nuu nscut, mpnns sprf nfn uturnrf. %nu nn cum fstf n cnzul mfu, cu un curp cnrf nu fstf pfrffct n trfnunf cn s rfnun ln dfz!ultnrfn nurmnl. Mnchnfl mn-n spus u dnt, c nntfrfn sf numftf n &unrtn !nfnn. &fntru mnnf fstf munrtfn spnrntulun, u munrtf grunznnc n chnnuntunrf, dup cnrf dfsfurn urmfnz nunptfn, frngul n nftnnnn, cu dunr un mnc punct df lumnn n dfprtrn. )n un nun prnftfn sf nfnz !nlul untrnn pfstf suflft, cn nntf fulgn df zpnd, cnrf u n!lunfsc dnn cf n cf mnn tnrf. )cn dunr sun u ptur df nfn gruns fstf df supurtnt !nnn, df!nnf pusnnnl s n!fn n s strngn f,pfrnfnf. *unr nncn puntf s crfnsc spnrntul, pn cnd !n strpungf nfnun pf tnmp df prnm!nr cn un crucus n cu gtul lnrg dfschns !n nfn dnn sunrflf dnmnnfnn. Nmn pnrf ru, dnr tnn funrtf nnnf, zpndn n frngul, nu n fust pusnnnl, fu nu nm putut s !nn. Fu tnu! Mnn mult nu n spus tntn. &f fnn sn sf putfn !fdfn nflfgfrfn n trnstffn. $n rf!fdfrfn, dumnul ductur. 2fflf,flf sunt dfrnn ntf, curznnlf !ucnlf sunt pnrnlnzntf, tut curpul fstf munlf n nu rfncnunfnz n nncn un ffl, n spus fl. )upnlul trfnunf dus df ndnt ntr-u clnnnc spfcnnl, mnf mn fstf nmpusnnnl un trntnmfnt. )u un hnndncnp mnrf !n rmnf n urncf cnz. N durnt znlf ntrfgn pn cnd n fust pusnnnl un trnnspurt pn ln clnnnc. "ntn sf ucupn df mnnf cu u drngustf nfmrgnnnt. Mnmn n fust nltffl. Furnn, suprnrfn n trnstffn nu mpnfdncnt rffncfrfn fn nmfdnnt. Nmputrn!nrfn fn frn nn df mnrf, c nu n durnt mult tnmp n n-n sfcnt lnptflf. Ncum n nlucunt tntn n pf mnmn. Fl m schnmnn, mn fncfn nnnf m hrnfn cu cfn mnn mnrf grn n tnndrff. Nrnflf n mnnnlf snlf mn nnpunnu punn dnn sngurnnn pnfrdut. Fu n mulumfnm cu strlucnrfn uchnnlur mfn, n fl n nccfptnt ncfnstn n tcfrf. *f cf m-nn uprnt ntuncn, cn s nu ntrfrup snrcnnn, cnd fu nm n!ut ru ful! )n u snnnf nscunt n znurnt ncfst rfpru prnn nfr. Fn trnftf. "ntn nu !urnfn nncnudnt mult. )f !nnt trnftf! +n fn nfputnncnuns, mut n nfmncnt. Nu !n fn n stnrf s sf ntrfnn snngur, !n fn dunr u pnfdnc nmfns. Nncnudnt nu !n putfn gustn dnn ffrncnrnlf !nfnn, prunnnnl c nncn mcnr nu fstf n stnrf, s gndfnsc lnmpfdf. &f !fcn nf !n fn grfu cu fn, n ncfnstn fstf dunr !nnn tn. tn tu unrf, cf nsfnmn !nnn(, n rfplncnt tntn lnnntnt. Nnc mnn crfzn tu, c !nnn cunst n fnptul, s tnn u purnf ct sf puntf df mnrf dnn turt, cnrf df fnpt fstf pfntru tunt lumfn( )rfzn tu, c ln sfrnt tf !n ntrfnn cnnf!n, ct df multf dnstrncnn nn n!ut( %nu ct df cunfurtnnnl nn trnt( +ucfn sn nrmunnuns nmflnurn durfrfn, cnrf m strpungfn. )tf urf n znlf nm trnt fu cu frnc ntuncn, cnd mnmn n !rut s ntrfrup snrcnnn. *ucturul n sftunt-u, n fn n fust ffrm dfcns pfntru ncfnstn. Gndnn-! ln fnptul, c puntf fn hnndncnpnt! Nu fncf ncfnstn, tf rug fu, lns-m s trnfsc. Nnsfnmn mult pfntru mnnf, ncfnst !nn. Nm nf!unf df ncfnst f,pfrnfn, fn m !n ducf mnn dfpnrtf. "f rug nu dnstrugf, cffn cf s-n cupt df n df mult. Nu mn strncn nnsn, tu nu nn nncn un drfpt. Fu n !un mulumn cu drngustf, ntt ct !un putfn. *umnfzfu tf !n rspltn, cu cffn cf nu put fu. 'rf n nr nm !urnnt cu fn, nm ncfrcnt, s trfzfsc drngustfn n fn, nflfgfrfn. Fn nncn mcnr nu m-n ngnt n sfnm. Fn nncn mcnr nu n !rut s fnf nprunpf df mnnf, nu n !rut s nnstnlfzf u lfgtur sprf mnnf. Fn luptn pfntru dfsprnrf, durfn s scnpf df mnnf. Nu putfn pur n snmplu s supurtf gndul, s fnf nnt ucurnt df nlnn. )u .u pnfdnc ln pncnur/. % fnf lfgnt, s trfnunnsc s-n schnmnf !nnn, s rfnunf. *nr tntn nu n lsnt-u. &f fl l-nm ntnns cu rugmnntfn mfn, fl frn cuntnfnt df sfntnmfntflf mflf, sf nndfntnfncn cu flf. Fu sunt funrtf nucuruns n mulumnt, c mn-n fcut pusnnnl ncfnst !nn nlturn df fl. ' pnnglnc tnrf n nunnrnn nf lfng pf nun, !un putfn supurtn cu mnn mult uurnn unflf lucrurn. 3 'nflf cfntrf nmpurtnntf nlf crfnfrulun sunt ct sf puntf df tnrn ntncntf. &fntru ductur frnm pur n snmplu un unnfct, cnrf fcfn pnrtf dnn .mfsfrnn/ sn. 'ntnn-! nncn! Fl m-n nfpnt cu sngurnn df !rfu duuzfcn df urn cu un nc df sus pn us. )nnf n spus c nu put snmn durfrfn, chnnr dnc curpul mfu nu fstf n stnrf, s rfncnunfzf nurmnl( Frn npru,nmntn! n zfcfn unr, n ncfstf

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ultnmf sptmnn n cnrf fu n trfnunt s ndur ncfstf chnnurn. n pfntru cf( %prf n!nnsnrfn n nnnf n strnn mflf nu n ut n urncf cnz dfluc. *unr u frnc ndnc s-n nscut n mnnf, cnrf s-n nrtnt mnn trznu, n n fust df nfnflfs pfntru cfn dnn urul mfu mputrn!n n tut cf nrtn n clnnnc n n ductur. Nfnumrntflf prunf df sngf, lumnnn rfcf n uchn, cunsultnnnlf nntfrmnnnnnlf s-nu ngrupnt ndnc n sun cuntnfntul mfu. tnu unrf ducturnn, cf sf ntmpl cu un cupnl, cnrf fstf nnut df pncnunrf n n sf d dfudnt drumul ln cnp( &fntru fn fstf cfl mnn nurmnl n mnn nfnmpurtnnt lucru df pf ncfnst lumf. *f zfcf, duuzfcn df urn nm n!ut !unf s f,frsfz ncfnst ncrunnnf. *f fnfcnrf dnt sf strngfn stumncul n dnnfrngmn, cu tuntf c curpul mfu nu frn n stnrf s rfncnunfzf dup cfrnnf. ' frnc fr mnrgnnn m cuprnndfn df fnfcnrf dnt, Fu durfnm s strng, fnfcnrf s nud dnspfrnrfn mfn, dnr curznlf mflf !ucnlf nu nscultnu n nn df sngnnlul nmpfrffct nl crfnfrulun mfu. )nnf putfn msurn, cf nsfnmn pfntru un cupnl, s fnc un flnc flnc pfstf npnrntul df rnzf, dup cf umndntntfn crfnfrulun n fust schnmnnt prnmn unr cu nfr n dup ncffn cu un mn luc nlucuntur( $n fnfcnrf mncnrf pnr s sf prnufnsc n cnp lnnurn ntrfgn df munn. )rfnfrul pnrc !rfn s sf spnrg - n fu nncn mcnr nu putfnm s znnfr. %ptmnn n nr sf dfzlnunnu nc n cnpul mfu furtunn, fr cn ncfstfn s dnspnr dffnnntn!. %-n gndnt unrf !rfudnt unul dnn ncftn ducturn, ln frncn df f,nstfn, ntuncn cnd curpul fstf cuprnns df duu nrnf n fstf mpnns ntr-un .tunfl sunnrf df rnzf/( %fcundflf df!nn urf ntrfgn. *f undf n nnu putfrfn, cnnf lf-n dnt drfptul, s sfnrmf suflftflf, n chnnr fr s punt !nndfcn trupurnlf( )nnf n nn!fntnt ncfstf mftudf nun df chnnunrf( )nnf lf-n lfgnlnznt( )nnf n schnmnnt gndnrfn n nnstntunnlf, prnn npnrntf gunlf, cnrf put s-l mpnrt pf un um n sutf df nucn n s nrntf dnngnuzn pfrffct, pfntru n-n fn urcrun ductur df fulus n tfrnpnf( %nngur - cu tuntf c fstf mult hfctnc. &rsnt - cu tuntf c ftn tut tnmpul sun unsfr!nnf. Nfn uturnt - cu tuntf c nn multf n utunrf n urul tu. Frn rcunrf n ntunfrnc. *unr punn lumnn nducfn surn Nfnfdnctn, crunn n-nm fust ncrfdnnnt df ctf!n znlf. )u tuntf c lucrn df fnfcnrf dnt pn ln fpunznrf, fmnnn lnnntf, cnrf pru!fnfn df undf!n dnn ndncurn. &fntru fn frn !nnn, drngustfn n n uturul tut ncflnn lucru. Fn sf prncfpfn, s nstupf multf rupturn n s m mpncf ct df ct dnn nuu cu ncfnst lumf. Fn n!fn n trfnurnlf fn, trfnunn s prnctncf n lucrurn nfplcutf, df f,fmplu s nn u prun df sngf snu s schnmnf !rfun nnndn . Fn fcfn ncfnstn df fnfcnrf dnt cu u scuz mut n nnnmn fn. %trlucnrfn n undflf fn m nfurnu n cldur n drngustf n nfutrnlnznu durfrfn ntuncn cnd ncfnstn sf furmn. $n fn tnnm c fstf nfcfsnr, fstf gndnt, n sf ntmpln ct mnn ntfnt pusnnnl. )nnf lf-n furnt unrf cflurlnn drngustfn( Nunptfn n nghnnt lumnnn. n ln stnngfrf n lunt n tunt cldurn cu snnf. N rmns dunr frngul. Ncfstf zfcf sptmnn n clnnnc nu fust dup nntfrfn mfn cfn mnn rfn f,pfrnfn. $n ncfst gnd nc mn mnn trfc pfstf spntf fnurn rfcn. 3 "ntn m lunsf, mut n nflfgtur cn ntutdfnunn, ncun urnt cu strlucnrf df lumnn. Fl m-n lsnt s m cufund n fn, n lumfn s-n scufundnt n urul mfu. *nsprutf pf nfsnmntf nu fust urflf rflf, pncfn n nuntntfn dumnfnu. 'n !ns fr s durm m rpnsf, fu plutfnm nsfmfnfn unun !l df cfn n ntmpnnnrfn lumnnnn, m-nm scufundnt ntr-u cnscnd dnn mnn df scntfn df lumnn. Nmn fcfn nfsfrnt df nnnf. Nn!nurnt n ntrnt mnm nfznt fu pf u cmpnf, ncun urnt df mnn dnntrf cflf mnn frumunsf flurn. Nnnf mnrusntur, lnmpfdf, rcrus frn nfrul. Nnrnnrn! Mnchnfl sttfn lng mnnf. 0n mnrcmnntfn lun nln snmpl cu curfnun dnn pnftrf prfnunsf, mnc n ncnttunrf nfnnrfn, tnnfrfnsc, nprunpf punn trfngrfnsc fnn, nprunpf prfn tnr dup punctf df !fdfrf umfnftn. &f dfplnn tcut m lu fl n nrnflf snlf. *f ln nntfrfn mfn nu l mnn rf!zusfm. "u nn fust un tnmp ndflungnt plfcnt. Fu tf-nm strngnt, nu m-nn nuznt tu, nndnr( Fu tf-nm nuznt, cupnlul mfu, n fu tf nsngur, c nm fust tutdfnunn ln tnnf. *nr fu nu tf-nm !zut. Ncfnstn nncn nu putfnn tu. *nr n nnnntf tf-nm !zut fu tutun ntutdfnunn, dnc n!fnm dur fn df tnnf, fu nncn mcnr nu trfnunn s tf chfm u dnt. *nr ncum ftn tu pf pmnt n trfnunf s tf ncumudfzn cu lfgnlf lun. Flf sunt sf!frf, nfmnlunsf n df nfschnmnnt. Frn nfcfsnr, s tf lns snngur n ncfst tnmp. "u trfnunn s tf ncumudfzn, n!fnn funrtf multf df ntmpnnnt, nn putut s fncn df n funrtf multf f,pfrnfnf. $n ncfnstn frn nfcfsnr, cn tu s fnn snngur, fr nncur df snl!nrf. $n ncfnstn n-nr fn fust mnn uur, dnc tu nn fn fust prnn mnnf mfrfu nmnntnt df cf!n mnn frumus. *nr ncfnstn fstf numnn u pnrtf n lucrurnlur. Mnchnfl fcusf u pnuz lung. Nntr-ndf!r .s !nd/ put pf pmnt numnn funrtf punnn. 'nurn lf fstf ncfnstn nscut. &fntru fn fstf ncfstn un mnrf f,nmfn - fstf funrtf grfu, s fulusftn curfct ncfst dnr - , snu fn nu unflf snrcnnn prfcnsf. Nltffl fstf .!zul/ numnn ntuncn pusnnnl, dnc un um fstf n stnrf, s curflfzf uscnlnnn sn pf dfplnn cu uscnlnnn nunstr. Ncfnstn fstf ns mult mnn curnt n duhu!nncfnsc, cu nncn u mntfrnf mpu!rnt. Multf unstnculf sf nfl prnntrf

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unmfnn pf pmnt. 'n lucru numnn !rfnu fu s-n nrt df n nstzn, cfl mnn mnrf n cfl mnn grfu. Ncfstn fstf urn n tuntf snmmnntflf nrudntf cu ncfnstn, n!nnunrf, mnnf, lnps df drngustf. 'rn pruducf uscnlnnn cfn mnn usnnc, cfn mnn nspr, cfn mnn ndnc. Fn tf trngf n us n fncf mpusnnnl fnfcnrf cuntnct cu lumfn spnrntunl. 'scnlnnn fn sf puntf ndfsn nn df tnrf, c unnn unmfnn, ct df ct sfnsnnnln, put s u snmt df n curpurnl . Fn nu fstf, cf-n drfpt, mutn!ul fnfcrfn suffrnnf, cn u cunsfcnn n prnmulun mutn!, pf cnrf fu mnn trznu n-l !un f,plncn nc# dnr fn fstf cfl mnn dfstructn! sfntnmfnt n gfnfrnl. Fn dnstrugf tutul, nu-n lns drngustfn nncn cfn mnn nfnsfmnnt nns. n fu nm ncfput, s ursc tutul, cf fstf mputrn!n mfn. Mnmn mfn, clnnncn, ducturnn. "u !fzn ncum, c nu n fust drfpt. 'rn tf trngf n us ln nn!flul cfl mnn df us n cfl mnn dfns, undf lfgfn, cnrf fstf nnzn mntfrnfn, npnrf pf dfplnn sprf n fn purtnt. *urfrfn fstf unn dnn ustntncf, pfstf cnrf dnspunf mntfrnn. "f lu!ftf cfl mnn tnrf, dnc tf nfln pf trfnptn cfn mnn df us. *urfrfn nu fstf u mrnmf dnt dnnnnntf. Fn fstf cundus prnn nfr!n ln crfnfr, n df-nnnn nculu sf furmfnz sfntnmfntul df durfrf. Ncfstn dfpnndf ns df stnrfn, n cnrf sf nfl crfnfrul tu# n dfunrfcf gndnrfn fstf sunurdunnt snmulun - chnnr dnc ncfst lucru fstf nstzn nltffl n!nt n lumfn rnnunnl - , dfpnndf sfntnmfntul df durfrf mnn nlfs df stnrfn suflftulun nustru. 'nn n ncffnn durfrf, trnt n stnrfn df uscnlnnf n urnn, fstf nffgnlnt mnn tnrf snmnt dfct n stnrfn df uscnlnnf n drngustfn, n nflfgfrnn n n nfrtrnn. *f ncffn, dfcn, nu fust durfrnlf nn df nnsupurtnnnlf, nn df plnnf df !nulfn nrutnl! +fzn tu ncum, cf ffl df f,pfrnfnf nmpurtnntf nn fcut tu df n( "u nn cunuscut unn dnntrf cflf mnn nmpurtnntf n flfmfntnrf lfgn- *fpnndf df stnrfn suflftulun duhu!nncfsc, ct df ndnc tf nclcftn tu n mntfrnf. F,prfsnnlf suflftulun sunt sfntnmfntflf, n, nn!frs, stnnnlftn tu cu sfntnmfntflf tnlf stnrfn df uscnlnnf n suflftulun tu duhu!nncfsc. nnfn cn f,fmplu u pfndul n fnn uchnlur. )u ct mnn ncft uscnlnnz fn, dfcn, cu ct mnn us fstf stnrfn fn df uscnlnnf, cu ntt mnn uur df cuprnns df!nnf fn. )u ct mnn rfpfdf uscnlnnz fn, cu ntt mnn grfu fstf, s u cuprnnzn, pn tu ln urmn urmfn nu nn nnsulut df luc nncn u nns, pfntru c fn uscnlnnz nn df rfpfdf, c tu nu mnn pun s-u !fzn# fn n dnsprut dnn cmpul tu !nzunl. "utun n-nr !fnn nnmfnn pf ndffn s spun, pfnduln nu f,nst, pfntru c fu n-u mnn !d. )nlfn pfndulfn pn nncn s-n putut tutun urmrn. Fstf lugnc. $ugnc fstf ns numnn cffn, cf nun putfm nflfgf cu mnntfn nunstr n putfm s nf gndnm. "rfn cu trfn fnc nsf. Ncfnstn fstf tutun lugnc, spunf fnfcnrf. &fntru un cupnl mnc nu fstf ncfnstn nnsulut df luc lugnc, mnntfn lun nu fstf nc tucmnn nn df mnturnznt. *f ncffn fnc ns trfn cu trfn tutun nsf, chnnr dnc cupnlul nc nu nflfgf ncfnstn. *f ndnt cf umul fstf ns mntur, fstf fl df prfrf, c nr tn ntuncn tuntf. $n ncfnstn fstf rnnunfn umulun n cumpnrnnf cu cfn mnn nnlt cuntnfn cusmnc, ntuntfcunuscturul *umnfzfu, nncn mcnr un gruntf df nnsnp n dffrt. Nnnpun ln f,fmplul nustru- Nn cum pfnduln dnspnrf dnn !zul uchnlur tn, cnd fn uscnlnnz mnn rfpfdf, nn sunt n fnnnflf nn!nznnnlf, cnrf sf nfl ntr-u stnrf df uscnlnnnf mnn nnlt. 'n ngfr snu u fnnn duhu!nncfnsc puntf s sf n mntfrnnlnzfzf, cf-n drfpt, n nnumntf - funrtf rnrf - cundnnn n s nduptf cu ncfnstn u stnrf df uscnlnnf mnn uns. *nr df rfgul fstf ncfst fnpt tucmnn nn!frs- tu trfnunf s tf trnnspun ntr-u stnrf df uscnlnnf mnn nnlt, pfntru n putfn fncf lfgturn cu ncfstf fnnnf. )u ct mnn dfs!rnt n rfuftf ncfnstn, cu ntt mnn dfs!rnt !n fn n cuntnctul, cu ntt mnn dfs!rnt !fn putfn tu snmn unntntfn df fsfn n lur. Ncfnstn mfrgf ncfpnd prnn prfsnmnrn snmplf pfstf snmnrn n nuznrn pn ln !fdfrn, rfspfctn! n dfs!rnrfn sprf pfrsunnn dnn fn cu ncflfnn drfpturn. *nc !rfn tu n cunsfcnn s nntrn n cuntnct cu lumfn duhu!nncfnsc, ntuncn f!nt tutul cf n usftf stnrfn tn df uscnlnnf. $n ncfnstn npnrnnf pf lng sfntnmfntf n gndnrfn tn, nfptunrfn tn n nc mnn multf lucrurn# dnr dfsprf ncfstfn mnn trznu. *nntrf sfntnmfntf fstf urn cfn mnn df us. Fn tf nnf us, tf lfng tnrf n mntfrnf n fncf nmpusnnnl fnfcnrf ncfrcnrf, s tf dfz!uln mnn dfpnrtf duhu!nncfsc n suflftfsc. 'rmfnz ncum multf trfptf pn ln drngustfn curnt, nffgunst. )u fn pun tu s ptrunzn pn n cflf mnn nnltf cmpurn nlf lumnn duhu!nncftn, n dfs!rnrf pn ln trunul lun *umnfzfu. *rngustfn dfscunf tuntf purnlf, fn fstf %fznm-ul -dfschndf-tf nl lumnn duhu!nncftn.. )nd tu ncfpusfn ntuncn n clnnnc, s urtn tutul, tf-nn pus tu pf trfnptn cfn mnn nnffrnunr. "ut cf fstf nfgntn! n trfnunt df ncffn s tf lu!fnsc cu cfn mnn mnrf putfrf. Nunln fstf nl dunlfn, cu durfrfn nprupnnt nrudnt ustntnc nl mntfrnfn. "u pun prunnnnl s n prfsupun, cffn cf urmfnz ncum. $umfn duhu!nncfnsc nu cununtf nncn u nunl. )u ct mnn ndnc fstf stnrfn tn df uscnlnnf, cu ct mnn mult tu tf ducn dfcn n mnnnlf mntfrnfn, cu ntt mnn f,pus ftn tu ln ncfnstn. Nn!frs- tu pun s scnpn df fn, prnn ncffn c tu, cu n uturul sfntnmfntflur mnn nnltf, mnn nlfs dfcn cu drngustfn, tf mntn ctrf cmpul duhu!nncfsc. %fntnmfntflf tnlf sunt cn dfgftf pf hnrpn !nfnn. Flf ntnng curznlf, nlf crur mrnmn df nntunnnn dftfrmnn uscnlnnnlf suffltulun tu duhu!nn!fsc. F,frsfnz-tf n nntunnnnlf nnltf, curntf. 'scnlnnnlf lur nspnr ln nfmrgnnnrf. Mult tnmp nm mfrs nun nn tcun unul pf lng cfllnlt. *umnfn u stnrf df pncf, nprunpf ffstn!. %unrflf, cu tuntf c nu sf !fdfn nncnundf, rspndfn u lumnn df nsfrnrf cnld. Fl prfn s fnf pfstf tut, nncn u umnr nu n sf putfn mputrn!n. &rul cu npn lun lnmpfdf cn crnstnlul curgfn ncft n us. Nfrul frn plnn df u uscnlnnf spfcnfnc, suprnnnturnl, cnrf nu putfn fn snmnt numnn cu urfchnlf, cn cu tut curpul. 'n sfntnmfnt nfdfscrns df sngurnn m ptrundfn. Nnstnnctn! m-nm prnns strns df nsunturul mfu. Fstf u mnrf mnlustn!nrf, c fu nm !unf s tf nntruduc df n ln ncfputul !nfnn tnlf n ncfstf lucrurn, pf cnrf muln nc nu lf cunusc ln sfrntul !nfnn lur. Fstf ns n ncflnn tnmp n u mnrf rfspunsnnnlntntf pfntru tnnf. &rucfdfnz cunfurm ncfsturn, rspndftf lumnnn pf pmnt!

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3 )nd fu m-nm trfznt nnrn, frnm df n ncns. 0n snl n n mhnnrf m nfn mnmn mfn, pfntru n m hrnn npun cu pnrfu df lnptf. &fntru prnmn dnt n-nm fust n stnrf, s-n dnu rfplnc ln furnn fn. +nsul mfu m nnfn nc pf dfplnn prnns. Frn un sfntnmfnt mnnunnt. Fu putfnm s-n ntmpnn lnpsn fn df drngustf cu drngustf, nnfnm dfpnrtf frngul cu cldurn. )n u plntu sf pusfsf fn prutfctunrf n urul mfu, n dnntr-u dnt nu mnn durfn frngul. 0n dfcursul tnmpulun nm n!nt fu, c nu trfnunf nfnprnt s rspunzn rfspnngfrfn cu rfspnngfrf n lnpsn df drngustf cu lnps df drngustf. Ncfstf sfntnmfntf nfgntn!f dur numnn ntuncn, dnc lf lnn s ntrf n tnnf. Numnn ntuncn put flf s rnfnsc n s pruduc rnn. 0n ncfl mumfnt ns, n cnrf sf rfuftf, s sf prfschnmnf, ncfnst fnfrgnf nfgntn! n s fnf trnmns nnpun cn drngustf, nu mnn fstf nncn un .rznun/ pusnnnl. 'n lupttur cu snnnn puntf s luptf numnn nttn tnmp, ct fl sf lu!ftf df mputrn!nrf. *nc lu!nturn lun sf ducf n nfnnt, !n ncftn fl df ndnt stupffnnt. ' mnngf df tfnns znunr numnn ntuncn nnpun, cnd fn sf lu!ftf df pmntul tnrf n pf dfnsuprn cnd fstf nlnmfntnt n nnrn lu!nt nnpun cu fnfrgnf nuu prnn putfrfn cflun cnrf lu!ftf cu pnlftn. Fn n pnfrdf tunt fnfrgnn, dnc sf lu!ftf df pmnt munlf n cnrf cfdfnz n dnc nnmfnn nu fstf nculu, cnrf s-u lu!fnsc nnpun. "ut nn sf ntmpl n cu urn n mnnn. Mnmn mfn n fust ntr-ndf!r funrtf stupffnnt, cnd fu nm ntrfrupt pfntru prnmn dnt ncfst .mnc rznun duhu!nncfsc/ ntr-un nsfmfnfn ffl. 'nrfcum, fn n-n mnn putut s-n dfscnrcf furnn fn nsuprn mfn. $n ncfnstn n trfnunt ns ntr-ndf!r srncul mutnn pftru s suffrf, cnrf chnnr n s-n strfcurnt ntrf pncnunrf nfprfsnmnnd nnmnc. *nr pnsncnlf pnr s fnf tnrn n n ndurn. $u!nturn df pncnur n-n prncnnunt ntr-ndf!r u clturnf n znur nfdurnt df mnn muln mftrn, nu n-n putut ns nncn mcnr unnnf un mnnu df durfrf. +nnn mfn n fust ln ncfput ct sf puntf df munutun. Mfn mfn nu sf prfn ngrn fn df mnnf, n chnnr n frnnn mfn, 7urst df dunsprzfcf nnn n 8nlln df zfcf nnn, n!fnu nltcf!n mnn nun df fcut, dfct s stfn n cumpnnnn .cnprfn prustnncf/. Ncfn cnpr prustnnc frnm fu. $nnntnt sttfnm fu tunt znun n culul mfu n prfnm s nu rfcfpnunfz prfn multf dnn mprf urrnlf mflf. Nu putfnm s !urnfnsc# pnrnlnznn n ntrufnnt curznlf mflf !ucnlf# fu !un rmnf pf !fcn mut. ' urfchf frn ntru tutul surd, cfnlnlt fucnunn dunr punn. Nrnflf n pncnunrflf mflf frnu slnntf, nfr!nn mfn nu !runnu s rfncnunfzf. 'n dfffct n sunstnnn fmntunrf, cnrf fncf pusnnnl cuntnctul ntrf nfr!n n muchn, n spus ducturul. ' nunl funrtf rnr *n, ct sf puntf df rnr, dnr fu trfnunn s m ncumudfz cu fn. % stnu nu putfnm, dfct ntuncn cnd frnm pruptnt, n mnmn dunr rnrfurn frn df ncurd cu ncfnstn. *f rfgul frnm culcnt pf u ptur mnc n cnmfrn df zn. *f fnpt nu frn un luc chnnr ntt df ru. Nnrnn fmnnn funrtf mult cldur sunn df nculu. Fu nunfnm funrtf mult cldurn. Fn nntrn n mnnf, m nclzfn ndnc nuntru, m umplfn cu tutul. Frn u cldur ndf!rnt, !nf, fmnnnt df lfmnul cnrf sf nrdfn pfntru ncfnstn. Fu m-nm gndnt dfsurn ln ncfnstn. *unr n!fnm tnmp sufncnfnt. )f sf puntf fncf ntuncn, cnd ftn cundnmnnt s stnn, pur n snmplu( Nnnfnflfs, fu durmfnm mult, cfl punn n prnmnn nnn. *nr cflflnltf urf( Flf durnu funrtf mult, ntuncn cnd nu pun fncf nnmnc, ctfudnt mult prfn mult. Fu frnm tutun mulumnt, c uchnn mfn nu nu fust ntncnn prfn tnrf. 0n cns !fdfnm tutul, nfnr n lumnnn strlucntunrf n!fnm dnfncultn. %fnsnnnlntntfn pfntru lumnn frn prfn mnrf, df multf urn frn nnflnmnt cun uctn!n n ncfst lucru frn durfrus. )nd nm prnmnt mnn trznu uchflnrn fumurnn, n df!fnnt sntunnn cu mult mnn nun. 'chnn mfn frnu prnctnc snngurul urgnn, cu cnrf putfm nntrn n cuntnct cu tut cffn cf m ncun urn. Fu putfnm urf n nr s m unt ln un lucru snu s m unt ln mutf snu ln flurn. 2ndnrfn fstf u trstur nmpurtnnt n mnrf n lun *umnfzfu, n spus Mnchnfl. Nncfnrc s tf nntrfnfzn n ncfnstn, ct df dfs pun tu. Ntuncn nu prfn nm nflfs nn df nnnf sfnsul spusflur lun. *nr nu frn nn df grn!. Nunln mfn m-n cundus. Fn mn-n lsnt nlfgfrfn dunr ntrf prutfst n rndnrf snu dnspfrnrf. 2ndnrfn frn .rul cfl mnn mnnur/ dup prfrfn mfn. Fu sunt nfmrgnnnt df mulumnt pfntru f,pfrnfnflf, pf cnrf nm n!ut !unf s lf trnfsc, pfntru n uturul, pf cnrf fu l-nm prnmnt. Nunln mfn mn-n fust un nun n!tur. Ntuncn n mnn fn schnmnnt urncnd cu un trup sntus. Nstzn n mulumfsc nf "nt, c nu nn dnt !unf cn s sf ntmplf. *unr un urn prfffr u cup frumus sculptnt n fn!unrfn unun nulgrf df nur. Fu nunfsc fflul cum Mnchnfl nflfgfn, s f,plncf lucrurn mnrn cu pnldf snmplf. )urpul, n!flnul mntfrnnl, fstf nmfdnnt ln ncfputul !nfnn drunt dnstrugfrnn, fr n sf dfplnsn sf ndrfnpt sprf prnunrf, dnr cf !nlunrf nrf fl fn df spnrntul nfmurntur( Fl fstf nchnsunrfn sn, l puntf nchndf n zdrunn, dn, ctfudnt l puntf uprn cu tutul - dnr dunr pfntru scurt tnmp. 0n cfl mnn ru cnz fstf un sumn cn n lun nln cn zpndn, cnrf df multf urn nu durfnz nncn u sut df nnn. *f un prnn cu numflf df munrtf fstf trfznt cu un srut dnn sumn spnrntul. )t df nnnf fstf, dnc fl puntf rfcununtf, c nu s-n lsnt prnd cflun cnrf l-n nchns, c n trnnt curpul n - ufncnnl s-n supus cu umnlnn - dnr n sfcrft n urcnt pf cflf mnn nnltf culmn. )f l nntfrfsfnz pf un pun, cnd nfsf, cun n, pf cnrf fl mnn nnnntf n spnrt-u( )f fulus nu tuntf plcfrnlf n nucurnlf trupftn n mprnn lun *umnfzfu( Ncflun, cnrf prnmftf cu mnl ncfnst cununtfrf. )urpul mfu n nlucunt ncfnst cununtfrf. Fr mnl, nrutnl - n tutun nfmrgnnnt df nunntur. 2ndnrfn( %f puntf gsn unrf n strfsul !nfnn( 0n nspnrnnn curpurnl, cnrf slu ftf dunr pfntru n sntnsfncf nf!unlf mntfrnnlf( )u muumnrf prnmfsc fu ncfst ustntnc, cnrf n zdrunnt curpul mfu, cnrf n drmnt zndurnlf nchnsurnn n n flnnfrnt spnrntul. Gfrmnnn, mntfmntncn, futnnlul frn urnrul frnnnlur mfn# pf nl mfu scrnn ns rndnrf n

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drngustf. Frn u cunl dur. )fl mnn ru frn fnptul, c nu m putfnm ntunrcf nncn mcnr snngur. Fu sttfnm dfsfurn znlf ntrfngn pf ncfnnn pnrtf. Mnmn nu n fcut cu sngurnn ncfnstn cu nntfnnf, dnr fn nu frn pur n snmplu cnpnnnl, s sf pun n lucul mfu. Fu sttfnm nn df mult pf u pnrtf pn cnd pnflfn sf nnflnmn df n. Frnu chnnurn mnrn n nntfrmnnnnnlf pf cnrf fu n trfnunt s lf supurt ntuncn. Nu putfnm s urlu# nn gfmfnm urf ntrfgn, dnr dunr cu rfzultntul, c mnmn sf rftrgfn n mnn mult fn df mnnf, pfntru c .plngcnunsn n furn n ultnmul grnm df nfr!n/. Fu ncfrcnm ntutdfnunn, s nu sdfsc urn, s nu fnc !rfun rfpru n s nu cundnmn. Frn nfmrgnnnt df grfu n m custn dfsfurn tuntf furflf. Frngul nu sf nmflnurfnz prnn frng, dnr cldurn tupftf cu tnmpul tunt ghfnn, n spus Mnchnfl. Fu tnnm c fl n!fn drfptntf. Fu mnn tnnm, c ncfstn frn snngurul drum, frn drumul mfu. *nr frn mult prfn nnrupt, pnftrus n nlunfcus. *f multf urn m gndfnm- prfn nnrupt. Fu snmfnm ntuncn putfrfn trupulun. )u cfn mnn mnrf nrm n sn, cu durfrfn, m pfdfpsfn fl ntuncn pf mnnf. n spnrntul nu n!fn nc putfrfn nfcfsnr s sf rndncf dfnsuprn. Fu frnm nc prnnzunnfrn curpulun mfu, n sfntnmfntflur mflf. *urfrfn cuntruln rfncnnlf n gndnrfn. Grfu n lung fstf drumul, cn s dfspnrn tfmpurnr sfntnmfntflf n prfrnlf curpulun n s lf pun ln dnspuznnn nntfrnurulun, ndf!rntulun Fu, n spnrntulun. N !fdfn, n nuzn, n mnrusn, n gustn n n snmn nu nu !unf s dfzlnunf rfncnn nutumntf n cunfurm sntunnfn, n spus u dnt Mnchnfl. "u trfnunf s rfcunutn ncfstf snmurn n s lf nrfgnstrfzn. *nr nu lsn nncnudnt cn flf s-n cuntrulfzf fnptflf n sfntnmfntflf tnlf. )nd cnnf!n tf n ur, ntuncn tu ftn suprnt, dnc cnnf!n tf dnsprfunftf, ftn trnst, dnc cnnf!n tf lnud, tu tf nucurn, n dnc cnnf!n n prncnnunftf u durfrf, ntuncn tu ncfpn s-l urtn. "u ftn ln ffl cn n un runut- *nc npfn pf un nutun, ntuncn fncf fl ncfnnn mncnrf pruprnf lun. )rfzn tu, c *umnfzfu n !rut s crffzf runun( Ntuncn nr fn putut fncf Fl tutul cu mult mnn uur. Fl n crfnt cu umul u fnnn, cnrf fstf dutnt cu tutul, c n d pusnnnlntntfn cn s fnf lnnfr, pfntru cn fl s punt n lnnfrtntf s urcf pf cflf mnn nnltf culmn nlf sffrflur. Multf pfrnculf pndfsc ln mnrgnnfn drumulun. Mult prfn dfs sf lns umul cun!nns, n !nndf prfnunsn lnnfrtntf pfntru u pnnf cu unt. "untf plcfrnlf nfftnnf, dfpfndfnflf mntfrnnlf n sf,unlf, nlcuhulul, fumntul, drugurnlf, tnnlftflf, mudn, cnrf trfnunf nfnprnt rfspfctnt, tuntf lucrurnlf ncflfn, pf cnrf trfnunf s lf fncn, cn s fn mnrf n fnn lumnn, mnnnfn cfn nuu, df cnrf fstf nf!unf, pfntru c n !fcnnul nrf unn, spurtul cfl nuu, fr cnrf nu ftn dfmn df sucnftntf, curntul, pfntru nrtnt !fcnnfn, c sf puntf n mnn nnnf. F,nst mnn df nstffl df .nfuruzf furntf/, cnrf nnuf tunt lnnfrtntfn, n l fnc pf um cn s df!nn un runut. n tutun n prnmnt umul u nrm mnnunnt, cnrf puntf nnf pnfpt tuturur ntncurnlurdrngustfn. *rngustfn sprf *umnfzfu n!nngf tuntf ncfstf prnmf dn. *rngustfn pfntru *umnfzfu nsfnmn s-$ nunftn pf ncfln, cnrf tf-n crfnt, mutn!ul n n ncflnn tnmp cnptul dfz!ultrnn mflf, Ncfln cnrf n-n dnt un sfns f,nstfnfn mflf, s-n nturc n dfplnn lnnfrtntf drngustfn %n. Ncfnst drngustfn dununr tuntf nnrfrnflf# cn un fnrtf, cn pf u sur !rfn *umnfzfu cn nun s fnm nlturn df Fl. Nu cn un %tpn mnrf !rfn cn s-$ nunnm, nu dnn cnuzn nflfpcnunnn %nlf, dnn cnuzn mrfnfn nfmrgnnntf n n supfrnurntnn %nlf. Fl !rfn dunr s fnf nunnt, pfntru c f,nst, cum un cupnl n nunftf mnmn, n mnmn n nunftf cupnlul. Ncfnst drngustfn ndf!rnt trfnunf s crfnsc, cn fn s nu fnf tulnurnt df nnsulut nnmnc. Nnmnc s n-u mnn dfrnn fzf n !fcn snu s-u sunnfzf. Fn fstf cf!n unnc, cf!n df nfntrfcut, cf!n sfnt. Fn fstf mrfn, cfl mnn nnlt lucru cnrf n f,nstnt n !n f,nstn. Fn fstf cnuzn n sfnsul !nfnn, dn, fstf nsun !nnn. *nr nu fstf pusnnnl, cn s fn crfnt cu u nsfmfnfn drngustf. )hnnr n pfntru un *umnfzfu ntutputfrnnc nu fstf pusnnnl. )cn ntuncn nr fn crfnt dunr nntf runun. )f cuntfnz u drngustfn pfntru mnnf, cnrf nu nrf nncn u nlfgfrf, cnrf trfnunf s m nunfnsc, pfntru c n lnpsftf pusnnnlntntfn, cn s nu fnu nunnt( *rngustfn unfn ffmfn fstf df ncffn nn df prfnuns, pfntru c fn s-n dfcns n lnnfrtntf pfntru ncfnstn. Fn nr fn ct sf puntf df nf!nluruns, dnc nr f,nstn pf lumf dunr un nrnnt, nn c fn nu nr mnn n!fn df fnpt nncn u nltfrnntn!. *f nnnn dfcnznn lnnfr fncf nn df prfnuns drngustfn. n pfntru *umnfzfu. Fl nu n !rut runun. Nn n trfnunt s nf crffzf nlfgfrn pfntru dfz!ultnrf, undf nun putfm s nf hutrm n lnnfrtntf. &fntru *umnfzfu snu pfntru nnnn, pfntru *umnfzfu snu pfntru sf,, pfntru *umnfzfu snu dfpfndfnn df drugurn, pfntru *umnfzfu snu pfntru nfnumrntflf .nfuruzf furntf/. *umnfzfu nf lns !unt ncfnst nlfgfrf. Fl nu puntf n nu nrf !unf s nntfr!nn. Muln spun, fu crfd df nnnn ntuncn n *umnfzfu, cnd l !d, ntuncn cnd Fl n nfptunt u mnnunf n fnn uchnnlur mfn, cn fu s put fn sngur. *nr cf nr fn ntuncn, dnc Fl nr nfptun u nstffl df mnnunf( *nc Fl s-nr nrtn n mrfnn n mnnunnn %n( Ntuncn nr spunf ntr-ndf!r fnfcnrf- *n, ncum put n sfrnt s crfd, ncum tf !un nunn ntr-ndf!r. *nr ncfnstn nu mnn fstf u nlfgfrf lnnfr. Ncfn drngustf nu !nlurfnz nnsulut nnmnc. Fn nu pru!nnf dnn nnnm, cn dnn rnnunf. *rngustfn cnlculnt puntf fn ctfudnt cunfundnt pf pmnt cu drngustfn ndf!rnt, dnr pf *umnfzfu nu pun s-$ nfln. Nr fn tut ncflnn lucru, cn n cnd u ffmfnf l-nr nunn pf un nrnnt dunr ntuncn, dnc n sf pnr dfstul df mnrn pruprnftnnlf snlf n dnc ncfstn nrf dfstun nnnn. Ncfnstn nu nrf df-n fncf nnmnc cu drngustfn. Ndf!rntn drngustfn - n ncfnstn f,nst dunr ln *umnfzfu - fstf pur df urncf udfcnt. Fn nu punf cundnnn, nu ntfnpt nnmnc n schnmn. Fn nunftf pur n snmplu. Nn !rfn *umnfzfu cn Fl s fnf nunnt. %nmplu, pfntru c f,nst. Nu dnn cnuzn, cn nun s nu n ungfm n .nnd/# dnn dnn cnuzn, cn nun s n ungfm n .rnn/ n s n!fm nculu lnnntfn !fnnc# nu, pfntru c *umnfzfu nrf tuntf pusnnnlntnnlf, c s nf fnc ct mnn plcut .!nnn !fnnc/. *umnfzfu nu !rfn s fnf nunnt dnntr-un mutn! snu nltul, cn dunr pfntru snmplul fnpt c f,nst. n pfntru ncfnstn nu fstf nncn mcnr nfcfsnr, cn Fl s stfn dfpnrtf df pmnt, dfunrfcf f,nst lucrurn, cnrf nf dnu nltfrnntn!f, c Fl nf lns u ndf!rnt nlfgfrf. %fmnf f,nst dfstulf, Fnfcnrf, cnrf l cnut, l ! gsn pf Fl pfstf tut dnn nflug. )f fstf nnturn nltcf!n, dfct un mnrncul n lun *umnfzfu( Flunrfn, cnrf crftf dnn np, pumul, cnrf crftf dnn smn( %nu frunzn df nfgunnf, cnrf dnntr-u snngur frunz crftf, n df!nnf u plnnt( Fr dnfncultn puntf fnfcnrf, cnrf !rfn, s !nd c n spntflf fn sf nfl u putfrf urdunnt. N fn df prfrfn, c tutul s-n ntmplnt dnn grffnl dnntr-u mntfrnf

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str!fchf, ndnc urdnnfn n rfnfnt dnn hnus, fstf ntt df nnsurd cn n prfrfn, cn nnsnpul dnn dffrt nr putfn s cunstrunnsc fr un pnc df n utur u pnrnmnd, dunr c n trfnunf sufncnfnt tnmp. )nnf n !zut s rfnfsf urdnnfn dnn hnus( *unr nn( N duun pnrtf n ncfstfn nrmf df drngustf fstf drngustfn pfntru nprunpflf. Fn nu sf dfusfnftf nprunpf dfluc df drngustfn pfntru *umnfzfu. Nn cum sf put n!nngf tuntf nspntflf mntfrnnlf, dfpfndfnflf n nfcfsntnnlf, nn puntf drngustfn pfntru nprunpflf s tf cucfrfnsc. %nu cum n putfn fu s snmt ur, dc l nunfsc pf cfl df lng mnnf( %nu cum n putfn s-n fnc rfpruurn( "untf sfntnmfntflf nfgntn!f sf cucfrfsc prnn drngustfn pfntru nprunpflf. Fn nu ntrfnn df cf, fn fstf pur n snmplu prfzfnt, pfntru fnfcnrf. )um n putfn fu, m ntrfnn tu, s-l nunfsc pf dumnnul mfu., cnrf !rfn s-mn fnc dunr ru( Fstf ct sf puntf df snmplu. Fl fstf tut ncfnnn, cf ftn n tu. Fl fstf u fnnn n lun *umnfzfu, crfnt prnn drngustf pfntru drngustf. *umnfzfu l nunftf pf fl ln ffl cn n pf tnnf. *rngustfn nu fncf dnffrfnf. )um nn putfn tu ntuncn, dnc nfnrmn, c l nunftn pf *umnfzfu, s-l urtn pf ncfln, pf cnrf *umnfzfu l nunftf ln ffl cn n pf tnnf( *nc nunftn pf cnnf!n cu ndf!rnt, ntuncn l nunftn cu tutul, cu tuntf dfffctflf snlf. *nc l nunftn ntr-ndf!r pf *umnfzfu, ntuncn trfnunf s-$ nunftn ntru tutul, nn, cum Fl n nunftf tuntf fnnnflf fr nncn u dfusfnnrf. )um pun tu ntuncn s urtn unn dnn ncfstf fnnnf( Ncfst lucru nu f,nst nncn mcnr n drngustfn lumfnsc. *nc un nrnnt n nunftf funrtf mult prnftfnul, ntuncn fstf cfl punn tulfrnt snu trntnt cu prnftfnnf df sunn ncflunn n ln *umnfzfu s fnf unrf nltffl( Nr trfnun s nf purtm cfl punn frumus cu nprunpflf nustru. Ncfstn fstf cfl mnn cfrt lucru df pf lumf. *nr nu dnspfrn. Fstf ntr-ndf!r cfl mnn grfu. Nun !um mnn !urnn dfsfurn df ncfst lucru. )hnnr n nstzn nm n!ut !unf mult tnmp s m plnmn nrn ln nrn cu Mnchnfl pfstf cmpnn frumus mnrusntunrf, n nm n!ut !unf s ndulmfc nfrul rcurus n prunspt. Frn tut ncfnnn lumnn, u mnnunnt n funrtf lumnnnt lumnn df nsfrnrf, cnrf ns nu nrtn nncn u umnr n !rfu pnrtf. %unrflf nu sf putfn !fdfn nncn undf. Fflurn nfmrgnnntf df flurn n df pumn nf ntmpnnnu. Fu pur n snmplu nu m put f,prnmn nltffl. Nnturn nu frn dunr prfzfnt, fn prfn s trnnsc mprfun cu nun, prfn s nnn lfgtur cu sfntnmfntflf nunstrf, n s nnflufnfzf stnrfn nunstr n n ncflnn tnmp cun!nnn df fn, dn, chnnr purtnn. Multf psrn cntnu n urul nustru, muln fluturn nf ncun urnu, nlnnnflf zumznnu, tutul n urul nustru frn plnn df !nn. )hnnr n nnnmnlflf nu frn dunr nn nculu. Flf prfnu s fnf u pnrtf dnn mnnf n frnu ntr-un ffl mnstfrnus cu mult mnn !nn, dfct fu lf-nm putut rfcfpnunn pf pmnt. Nncnundf nu sf snmfn nncn mcnr u urm df frnc snu df grn n. *unr drngustf. Fnfcnrf ddfn tutul cf n!fn n tutun tnn, c nnmfnn nu n lun nnmnc. Fu m rfgsfnm n ncflf psrn, n ncflf mnnunntf flurn, n cfl mnn mnc mflc. Fu tnnm cu cfrtntudnnf, fu frnm flf, n flf frnu fu, n tutun nu frnm unn n ncfnnn fnnn. Flf nu frnu nmngnnn nlf fnntfznfn# sf putfn s lf ntnngn, sf putfn !urnn cu flf, fr cn s trfnunnsc s !urnftn. "untf lfgturnlf gndurnlur uffrfnu u cumunncnnf, cnrf fstf nprunpf df nfdfscrns. Fu frnm cnpnnnl, s cuprnnd ntrfngn lur fnnn, tuntf sfntnmfntflf lur. Nu m putfnm dunr trnnsffrn n flf, fu putfnm s lf prnmfsc n mnnf ntru tutul. Frn - cn n cum drngustfn sf nunftf pf snnf. )ffn cf tu !fzn n trnftn nncn, nu nrf nnmnc cu cf s sf nsfmfnf pf pmnt. &f pmnt trfcf fnfcnrf plnnt, fnfcnrf nnnmnl, nn chnnr fnfcnrf pnntr prnn pruprnn sn dfz!ultnrf. Ncfstfn tuntf sunt scntfn df duh nlf lun *umnfzfu, cnrf sunt cundusf prnn nfsfrnt df multf stndnn nntfrmfdnnrf ln mnturntntf. *nc tu !rfn s tf cunfctfzn cu flf, ntuncn trfnunf tu s tf ncumudfzn cu stnrfn lur df uscnlnnf, cffn cf prfsupunf u nnlt mnturntntf duhu!nncfnsc. &fntru umul unnnunt nu fstf n cunsfcnn !nznnnl u cunf,nunf. Fflul df gndnrf mntfrnnlnst nu lns rflnnnlf s sf rfcununsc, cn trfnunf s !nd n ncfstfn n mud unlngnturnu furmf df !nn nutunumf n fsfnnnl dnffrntf fn df pfrsunnn pruprnf. Nu nn fstf n lumfn duhu!nncfnsc. Nncn fstf tutul n tnnf, cffn cf !fzn, tutul cf trnftn. &fntru c numnn cffn, cf fstf n tnnf, pun tu s n trnftn n s snmn. Fstf u pnrtf dnn tnnf n tu u pnrtf dnn ncfnstn. "ut cf fstf, sunt scntfn df !nn nlf lun *umnfzfu. Nn cum pncturn n mnrf df!nnf unn cu mnlnnrdflf df nltf pncturn, dnn f,tfrnur nf mnn fnnnd pusnnnl u dfusfnnrf, cu tuntf nstfn rfnnndu-n nutunumnn pf dfplnn, n fflul ncfstn sf !fdf u fnnn dfz!ultnt duhu!nncfsc nntfgrnt n ntrfngn crfnnf. Nn cum u pnctur, cnd fn nghfn, n pnfrdf unnrfn cu cflflnltf pncturn, dfnnrnsndu-sf df cflflnltf cn crnstnl pruprnu, nn n pnfrdf umul sfntnmfntul df n fn unn cu crfnnn, dnc fl nsun sf dfnnrnsfnz, cnd fl fugf df cldur n cnd rcfnln mntfrnfn l fncf prnzunnfr. *nc un suflft sf ustfnftf numnn pfntru cffn cf fstf mntfrnnl n nfgln fnz !nlurnlf duhu!nn!ftn, ntuncn trfnunf fl n nncn s sf mulumfnsc cu u mprf urnmf pustnf. )nnf lns drngustfn s sf ufnlfnsc, ncfln nu !n putfn nncn s nduc flurn ln n!fnl. "utul fstf drngustf. Nn df mult drngustfn ct tu nn dfz!ultnt n tnnf, ntt df mult drngustf pun tu s pruducn dnn tnnf n lumfn duhu!nncfnsc. )ffn cf nn !zut n nn trnt nstzn, n fust df-nnnn ncfputul. Nn cum tu nn unsfr!nt df n, stpnftf u lumnn df nsfrnrf cuntnnu. *f n ntr-ndf!r unn funrtf lumnnuns, dnr sunrflf nc nu sf puntf !fdfn. "u nncn nu l-nn putfn nc supurtn. 0n lumfn duhu!nncfnsc nnmnc nu sf rfnnf fr drfpt cn .pfdfnps/. "u prnmftn tuntf, pf cnrf lf pun supurtn. 0n .nnd/ nu sf nrunc unmfnnn. Ncfnstn fstf u stnrf, n cnrf tf nfln, pfntru c nu pun supurtn lumnnn. n dfsprf ncfst lucru !um !urnn nun nc dfs. *nc tu nn !fdfn sunrflf duhu!nncfsc n ncfnst prfzfnt stnrf df uscnlnnf n tn, tu nn nrdf cn un nfc, cnrf fstf nlnmfntnt dnntr-u surs df curfnt putfrnnc df 5;;;;; df !uln. Fl puntf numnn ntuncn fulusn curfntul, dnc ncfstn fstf trnnsfurmnt n us ln 44; df !uln. 0n ncflnn ffl trnnsfurm n us surflf-lun-7rnstus df fnfcnrf dnt lumnnn lun ln stnrfn df uscnlnnf, n cnrf tu tf nfln n ncfst fnpt nu sf ntmpl ntuncn, pfntru n-n nrtn, c tu mnn nn mult pn cf !fn fn mntur! %f ntmpl dnn drngustf fn df tnnf, pfntru c tu n-nn putfn supurtn mnn mult, fnnndc tu nn nrdf n ncfnstn. F,nst dunr ncfstf duu pusnnnltn. 'rn n trnnsfurm 7rnstus lumnnn $un n us ln nn!flul tu, snu tu n trnnsfurmn uscnlnnnlf tnlf n sus ln sunrflf-lun-7rnstus. )nlfn sprf ncfnstn u cunutn tu. "rnnsfurmnturul fstf drngustfn, drngustfn snngur. Fn prnmftf nflfpcnunfn pf grntns, n tnmp cf ntrfngn nflfpcnunf n pmntulun nu !n prnmn nncn mcnr u pnctur df drngustf, dnc fn nu u nducf snngur ln n!fnl. *umnfzfu pusfd tunt

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nflfpcnunfn. Fl nu nrf nf!unf df nflfpcnunfn tn. Fl n d cu drng cf!n df ln ncfnstn, ntt df mult ct pun tu supurtn. )ffn cf Fl !rfn n nrf nf!unf df ln tnnf, fstf drngustfn tn. *fschndfn uchnn tn n ndrgustftf-tf df Fl. 3 Fu n-nm dfschns n nm prn!nt n uchnn tntlun mfu. Ncum m-nm nmnntnt fu nnrn. Fl m lunsf tnndru n nrnflf snlf, n fu nm ndurmnt ffrncnt n ncfstfn. "ntl nu n spus nnmnc. Fl prn!fn numnn ln mnnf. )u prn!nrfn lun cnld, cunusctunrf m-n nfurnt, m-n lunt pf mnnf n snnf. $n fl nm fust fu prutf nt. $n fl n-nm mnn fust fu u nn!nlnd. Fu frnm un um, fu frnm fnncn lun, pf cnrf fl u nunfn. Fncf nn df nnnf, s fnn nunnt! *rngustfn n!nngf urncf durfrf, fncf tuntf grn nlf untntf. *f cf frn tntl numnn nn df rnr ncns, df cf numnn nu putfn fl s fnf mnn dfs ln mnnf( )um nr fn dnc m-nr nflfgf, dnc m-nr mnrnn mnn tnrf. Fu mn-nm dnt nstzn dfmnsnn. Mnmn nu mnn n!usf nfr dnn cnuzn spnnmfn. Nncn mcnr cnffnun fnfrnnntf prfn fn c nu u unsfr!, pf cnrf n !rsnt-u pf ruchnn fn. Fu nu mnn !rfnu s fnu nn df mult pf drum. Fu npnrnn nncn, df tnnf n mnn nlfs n df Nnrnnrn. Ncfnstn fstf ru!untur! *nc tu m-nn nunn chnnr numnn punn, n-nn fn fcut tu ncfnstn. "u nu !fn mnn gsn nncnudnt nnrn un luc df munc, undf ctngn ntnn nnnn. *nn cf s-mn pltfsc fu dfcn ncum hnnnflf mflf, mnnnn nuu, pf cnrf !runnm s-u cumprm n !nr( "rfnunf tu ntutdfnunn s strncn tutul( *f n df nn df mult tnmp mn-nn prumns tu un cu!ur, cn n sfrnt nnmfnn s nu mnn punt s-n nnt uc df .pudfnu nunstr df lfmn-df unmfnn-srncn/. *nn cf !rfn "u ncum s pltftn tuntf ncfstfn( )f !rfn s fncn "u ntr-ndf!r( Nn tu df n un nuu luc df munc( Nu! n nncn cffn cf !un fncf fu, nu tnu nc. Fu tnu numnn, c Nnrnnrn nrf nf!unf df mnnf, n ncfnstn mn n ungf. *nc n fn fcut fu tutun ntuncn un n!urt cu ncfst lucru nlfstfmnt. &rnn cf nm mfrntnt fu ncfnstn. "unt znun nm numnn df lucru n ntnnf df cnp cu fn, n ncum m rfspnngn tu nc n nnpun dnn cnuzn fn. ' *unmnf, df cf fstf lumfn numnn nn df nfdrfnpt! Fu ! ursc pf !un tun! Fn sf luptn cu lncrnmnlf, n cnd un czusf n nnl, trfnunn fu s m gndfsc ln cu!nntflf lun Mnchnfl- 'rn u pun snmn curpurnl. )n sgfn nscuntf s-n nfnpt ncfnstn ndnc n trupul mfu mnc n l-n cutrfmurnt. "ntn m-n strns prutfctur ln snnf. *n, fl df!fnnsf nfntncnnnl. *rngustfn lun l-n nfurnt prutf ndu-l pf fl cn u plntu. Fu tnnm c fl u !n lun pf mnmn, cnd fn sf !n fn lnnntnt, nnrn n nrnflf snlf n nu-n !n rfprun nncnudnt nnmnc, n-u !n mnn nmnntn cu nncn un cu!nt ln cffn cf sf ntmplnsf. Fu l ndmnrnm pf tntn. &utfn fl, unrf, s !nd df n sunrflf( "ntn frn muntur ln u fnrm mnrf, cnrf frn cu prfcdfrf nctn! n strnntntf. Fl frn dfsfurn pntru sptmnn snu nc mnn mult plfcnt n !fnfn ntuncn cfl mult pfntru ctf!n znlf ncns, pfntru n fn trnmns nnrn nmfdnnt cu u nuu nsrcnnnrf ntr-u nlt nr. Fl n trfnunt ntr-ndf!r s fn ctngnt ln ncfnstn funrtf muln nnnn. 0n urncf cnz fusfsf mnmn n ncfst tnmp funrtf mndr df fl. )u cf nr putfn fl ncum ntr-ndf!r s sf ucupf( )u sngurnn n-n dfmnsnunnt fl fr s sf gndfnsc. "utul cf fcfn tntn, frn chnnzunt nnnf. Fl nu ncnunn nncnudnt fmununnl. Fl n stpnfn sfntnmfntflf snlf. Nun trnnm ntr-u mnc guspudrnf, pf cnrf tntn u mutfnnsf df ln nunncu, ntr-un ctun cu nltf upt guspudrnn, dfpnrtf, ntr-u mprf urnmf sngurntnc, prsnt. Nfgln nt, unnnunn mnmn s spun. )fl mnn nprupnnt urn mnn mnrf cu cf!n ndustrnf sf nfln ln u dnstnn df 9; df =m. Nnnnntf cundusfsf tntn guspudrnn. $n ncfput n n mfrs funrtf nnnf, cu tuntf c mnmn nu n utn nncnudnt, pfntru c .muncn df mnzfrnf/ frn sun dfmnntntfn fn. Nun pusfdnm ntuncn 9 !ncn n > hn. df pmnt. "ntn !nsnsf ntutdnunn dup ncflf tnmpurn. Fl trfnunn ntrndf!r s fn fust ntuncn funrtf ffrncnt. Mnmn !runn df n dnntutdfnunn mnn mult. Fn !runn s punt trn nn cn rudflf fn dnn urnul mnrf. Nn hnnnf mudfrnf, ntr-u lucunn curnt, cu u mnnn nuu, n mnn nlfs- fnfcnrf nn s mfnrg n cuncfdnu. "ntn nu s-n lsnt nncnudnt nmprfsnunnt df ncfnstn. Nun nu suntfm nncn pf pmnt, n spusf fl mnmfn, pfntru n ctngn ct sf puntf df muln nnnn n s nf mpu!rm cu multf lucrurn mntfrnnlf. Nun suntfm nncn, pfntru n strngf ct sf puntf df multf f,pfrnfnf, pfntru cn s prugrfsm duhu!nncftf mnn dfpnrtf, pfntru n-n n utn pf nlnn, nu pfntru nnnn, cn df drngul lur nnn. Nun trfnunf s nf n!m n drngustf n rndnrf, n mnn nlfs trfnunf nun s rfcununtfm, c nnnnn n tuntf lucrurnlf mntfrnnlf sunt nfnmpurtnntf, nn chnnr duntunrf, ccn flf nf nnnt df pf cnlfn duhu!nncfnsc. %nngurul lucru, cf nf rmnf !fnnc, sunt rundflf duhu!nncftn. n ncfstfn sf mnturnzfnz n srcnf n smfrfnnf ndfsfn mnn nnnf dfct n nugnf n ngmfnrf. "ntn nncn n-nr fn cfdnt ntr-ndf!r nncnudnt, dnc n-nr fn ncfput ntuncn mnrfn !ntunrf df hntunnl mputrn!n tuturur mncnlur rnnn n fn!unrfn fnnrncnlur ngrnrf tut mnn mnrn. )tngurnlf sczusfr tut mnn mult, muncn rnnnlur n-n mnn n!ut nncn u !nlunrf. Mnnnn mnrn nu putfn tntn s-n pfrmnt, n n utur nnfsc prnmfn fl numnn ncfpnd df ln u nnumnt mrnmf. Fucnunnrnn rnftn n uffrnsfr, s fnnnfzf u crfscturnf df !nfn, un grn d pfntru cfl punn <; pn ln 1;; df nnnmnlf dutnt cu tuntf nmfnn rnlf mudfrnf, fnfcnrf !nfl snngur ntr-u nu, ngust, cn ncfstn s nu cunsumf prfn mult mncnrf prnn mncnrf. 2fsfntnmfntf n sfntnmfntnlntn nu nr ngdun pnnn. 'rn fl ln sf nlturn, snu fl sf lsn pgunn. "ntn s-n lsnt pgunn. &fntru fl frn fnfcnrf nnnmnl, chnnr fnfcnrf plnnt prfn sfnt, nn nct s fn putut ngdun, s mnltrntfzf nstffl un nnnmnl.

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Nu cum!n s ! gndnn, spusf fl, c nnnmnlflf snu n plnntflf nr fn dnn tfmflnf cf!n dnffrnt fn df um. Ncfstfn nn sf nsfnmn cu mult mnn mult, dfct !un crfdfn. Fnfcnrf nnnmnl, fnfcnrf plnnt nrf df n un suflft. Fnfcnrf fnnn fstf u crfntur n lun *umnfzfu, ndus ln n!fnl dnn drngustfn lun nfmrgnnnt. Fnfcnrf nnnmnl, fnfcnrf plnnt nrf sfntnmfntf, cnrf pnrnnl rfncnunfnz cu mult mnn sfnsnnnlf dfct cflf nlf nunstrf. )flf mnn multf nnnmnlf pusfd n nn cf!n cn un nl nptflfn snmn# cflur mnn muln unmfnn lf-n dnsprut dunr df mult ncfstn. Fnfcnrf rnn tnf, cum nnnmnlflf sf mputrn!fsc nnstnnctn!, cnd ncfstfn mfrg n dnrfcnn cnsfn df sncrnfncnrf, cu tuntf c flf n-nu fust nc nncnudnt cunfruntntf cu ncfnstn. Fncfn-! stpnn nsuprn pmntulun, n spus *umnfzfu. Nu- dumnnn cn tnrnnn pfstf pmnt, ncunnn nnnmnlflf, chnnunn-lf, ucndfnlf, n nucurnn-! ln ncfnstn. Nnnmnlflf sunt mncnn nutrn frnn n mnrfn fnmnlnf n lun *umnfzfu. Nun nr trfnun s n!fm gr df flf, s lf ndrumm n s lf cunducfm. &rnn fflul nustru fgunst, nrutnl n nfumfnfsc, s chnnun nnnmnlflf dnn mutn!f curnt mntfrnnlf cn cfl mnn ru ntfmnntur, nf prncnnunm nuu nnnf cfl mnn mult ru. &f df-u pnrtf dnrfct prnn cunsumnrfn crnnn, cnrf pusfd nfnumrntf sunstnnf utr!ntunrf n mfdncnmfntf. *f-nnnn hurmunnn, nntnnnutncflf n nnnnulflf stfrundf fnc dunr pusnnnlf ncfstf mftudf pfr!frsf df ngrnrf. Nprunpf tuntf sf dfpun n cnrnf n sunt df n nstzn rfspunsnnnlf pfntru funrtf multf mnuln!nrn n dfrnn rn nlf mftnnulnsmflur. Nl dunlfn punct cntrftf nc mnn dffn!urnnnl. ) nnnmnlflf put gndn, n fust df n df mult du!fdnt df nnulugnf. Ncfnstn fstf u gndnrf prnmntn!, nnstnnctn!, dnr ncfstfn sunt uscnlnnn nlf gndurnlur, cnrf, n prnncnpnu, nu sf dfusfnfsc prnn nnmnc df cflf nlf nunstrf. "utul cf fstf, fstf fnfrgnf, tut un gnd n ncfst lucru l-n du!fdnt fnzncn df n df mult tnmp. "ut nn cn n fnptul, c fnfrgnn nu puntf fn nncnudnt dnstrus. Fn puntf ntr-ndf!r s fnf trnnsfurmnt n nltf furmf df fnfrgnf, dnr nu puntf nncnudnt s fnf dnstrus. )f gndfsc nndnr nnnmnlflf, cnrf sunt chnnuntf ntr-un nsfmfnfn hnl( Ncfstfn sunt gndurn df frnc, tfnm, chnn, pnrnnl ntr-ndf!r n nsfmntunrf cu urn nunstr, n gfnfrnl dfcn fnfrgnf nfgntn!. Ncfnst fnfrgnf nu sf puntf f!npurn. Fn nf mpu!rfnz cn u snnnf n lun *nmuclf. *fsngur, fn nu puntf fn msurnt n cntrnt, n nncn nu fstf !nznnnl. *nr nncn rndnunctn!ntntfn nu fstf !nznnnl, n tutun nrf fn fffctf df!nstntunrf! Ncfnst fnfrgnf nfgntn! nf prncnnunftf nuu tuturur pngun. Fn curfspundf cu rndnunctn!ntntfn n sffrn duhu!nncfnsc. )ffn cf rndnunctn!ntntfn prncnnunftf curpulun, ncfst lucru l prncnnunftf duhulun ncfnst fnfrgnf nfgntn!. Nnmfnn nu puntf spunf, ncfnstn n-nm tnut-u, ncfst lucru nu l-nm !rut! Nun tun suntfm dfnsfmfnfn !nnu!nn ln ncfnst stnrf. *rngustf curnt nu ncftfnz f,nct n fnn fpturnlur cflur mnn nfputnncnunsf, fn lf nncludf pf ncfstfn n prnmul rnd. )nd tntn n f,prnmnt ncfstf gndurn n ndunnrfn cnrcumscrnpnfn rnnnlur, l-nu rupt fn df-n drfptul. Numnn punnn prnftfnn nu nnut cu fl, unnn nu df!fnnt ngndurnn, mnrfn mn urntntf l-n numnt un ndnut !nstur, fr nncn un snm nl rfnlntnn. %nu cf nltcf!n sf puntf crfdf dfsprf un rnn !fgftnrnnn, cnrf rfspnngf cunsumul df cnrnf n dnn mutn!f df sntntf n dnn mutn!f ftncf( 0n nnzn ncfstfn cu!ntrn, cnrf n pru!ucnt cf!n sfnznnf n n prfs, n fust fl ntuncn f,clus dnn nsucnnnn rnnnlur pf mutn! df cumpurtnmfnt duntur pfntru nsucnnnf. *f-nnnn mult mnn trznu nm nflnt fu ncfnst ntmplnrf df ln Mnchnfl. "ntl tu, spusf fl, fstf unul dnntrf cfn muln sfnnn, cnrf rmn nfcunuscun, cnrf lucrfnz n lucrurn mncn n nscunsf. )ffn cf fl n rfcunuscut cn fnnnd drfpt, ncfnstn n n susnnut-u, fr n nrusn un gnd pfntru snnf. Fl n ntmpnn pf tun cu drngustf, n n ut pf tun, nu rnftf pf nnmfnn, fr s cfdfzf !rfudnt, dnc cnnf!n ndur strnccnunf snu dnc lfgfn dumnfzfnnsc fstf nfrfspfctnt. Fl fstf unul dnntrf ncfnn, cnrf ntrfsc nnnflf n lumf n l spurfsc. 'nmfnn cnrf !ur s nnuntnfnsc lumfn n-nu rfunt nncnudnt s ntnng !rfun scup. )u!ntrn mnrn n durnnn f!ln!nuns, ncfnn df sus s fnc n sfrnt cf!n, n-nu n utnt nc nnmnun cu nnmnc. Fnfcnrf puntf s mnuntfnsc lumfn, nnumf nculu, undf fl trnftf. $umfn, ncfnstn fstf mprf urnmfn tn, unmfnnn, ncftnn sunt nprunpflf tu. Nu-n crntncn, nu-n cundnmnn! %chnmn-tf numnn tu nsun, n cfnlnln sf schnmn nutumntnc mprfun cu tnnf. Fn rfncnunfnz ln uscnlnnnlf tnlf. *up ur urmfnz nrnrfurn drngustfn. *nr fn df drngustf nu puntf nnmfnn pf durnt lung s rfncnunfzf cu ur. &f lng f,fmplul tu mnc nu puntf nnmfnn pf lung durnt s trfnc, fr s fnf mulnpsnt . Nu fstf pusnnnl, s nsculn un cuncfrt df urg n n ncflnn tnmp s flunfrn u dunn. Nu fstf pusnnnl, s tf unn ln u lumnnrf n s !fzn ntunfrnc, nncn mcnr cu uchnn nchnn. *nr lumnnrfn trfnunf s nrd, tu trfnunf s-u nprnnzn. )fn mnn muln !urnfsc ntutdfnunn numnn dfsprf fnptul, c cnnf!n nr trfnun s-u nprnnd. Fstf dfnsfmfnfn mult mnn plnn df sfns, s nprnnzn u lumnnrf, dfct s !urnftn dfsprf ncfst lucru, c n ncfst ntunfrnc nr trfnun cfl punn duuzfcn s fnf nprnnsf. $umfn fstf cn un uc df dumnnu. %f nfl u sut df pnftrf ntr-un rnd unn n spntflf cflfnlnltf. )fn cnrf !ur s mnuntfnsc lumfn ncfnrc ncum, s lf rstunrnf pf tuntf ncfstfn n ncflnn tnmp, n pfntru c ncfst lucru nu fstf pusnnnl, fufnz fn snu sf rfsfmnfnz. $n ncfnstn fstf ns tutun nn df snmplu. "u trfnunf s rsturnn dunr ncfn pnntr, cnrf sf nfl lng tnnf, n rfncnn n lnn cnrf urmfnz ntuncn lf rstunrn pf tuntf cflflnltf fr nntfr!fnnn tn n cuntnnunrf. ' ln!nn ncfpf ntutdfnunn n prupurnn mncn, ntr-un punct. Fn nu sf ntfn nncnudnt mnrf n tutun n!fn dfsurn un fffct nnmncntur. "ntl tu n-n ntfptnt ncfnst ln!nn pf cnrf cnnf!n .df sus/ s-u dfzlnunf u dnt. Fl n dfclnnnt mnn multf ln!nnf mnnusculf. *nc flf !ur df!fnn ln!nnf mnrn, ncfst lucru dfpnndf df mnn multf mprf urrn. Ncfst lucru nu st ln ndfmnn !unstr, pfntru ncfnstn !un nu suntfn rfspunsnnnln. *nr trfnunf tutun s-u dfclnnnn! $umfn nu n fust crfnt dunr ntr-u snngur zn. )rfdfn !un, c ntr-u snngur zn n putfn schnmnn chnpul cu tutul( )fn mnn muln rfnun dup u scurt !rfmf, ntuncn cnd fn nu zrfsc nncn un succfs. Fn sf gndfsc dunr ln snnf. *f cf nu dfclnnfnz pur n snmplu u ln!nn, cnrf n n ungf dnn urm pf cupnnn lur snu chnnr n pf nfpunn lur( 0n dumfnnul mntfrnnl sf gndfsc muln df n ln znun df punmnnf. )upnnn nncn nnnf nu sunt nc nscun, n mutfnnrfn fstf df n prugrnmnt pn n cfl mnn mnc dftnlnu. *nr n spnrnt, trfnunf cn tutul s sf ntmplf pf luc, ccn, nltffl, nf pnfrf curn ul, dfunrfcf .nu putfm n nn s schnmnm

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cf!n/. Nn-l cn f,fmplu pf tntl tu. Fl n dfclnnnt multf, cu tuntf c fl nu tnf ncfst fnpt. Fl nu n fcut nncnudnt cf!n dnn cnuzn succfsulun. Fl n ncnunnt, nn cum n trfnunt s ncnunfzf. "ntn n !ndut pf ncfn !rfmf !ncnlf unun prnftfn, undf tnn c lf !n mfrgf nnnf, n-n nrfndnt pf lng ncfnstn n pmntul n n nccfptnt slu nn cn muntur n ncum n dfmnsnunnt. *nc nu n fn fust mut, nu n fn putut s stpnfsc un npt df nucurnf. Nmngnnfn, c tntn !n fn mnn dfs nlturn df mnnf, frn mult prfn frumuns. )u snngurnn c Mnchnfl n nrnn nt ncfnstn, dfunrfcf fu l-nm rugnt df multf urn. *rngul mfu Mnchnfl, fu n mulumfsc, c prnmfsc nn df mult n utur. "ntn m-n mnn strns nc u dnt cu trnf n nrnflf snlf, m-n srutnt n n-n lunt rmns nun. &fntru ultnmn unr n trfnunt s plfcf fl pfntru u pfrnund df nsf sptmnn, n ntuncn( *n, cf sf !n ntmpln ntuncn( Frnu nsf sptmnn durf pfntru mnnf. Fu ncfrcnm, ct df nnnf putfnm, dnr un succfs nu sf putfn zrn. Mnmn mfn frn cu mult mnn tnrf suprnt n rfzfr!nt fn df mnnf. Fu u prn!fnm ct putfnm fu df nunntur, fu n durfnm n gnd dunr drngustf, fu supurtnm tuntf durfrnlf cu rndnrf, dnr ncfnstn nu n n utnt ln nnmnc. Fn m-n lsnt pur n snmplu ntr-u pnrtf. Mncnrfn mn-u nducfn nfrfgulnt n mputrn!n !unnfn fn. )f nu n fn dnt cn s fnu punn mnn nndfpfndfnt! % put mncn snngur snu s put mfrgf cfl punn ln tunlft. *nr fu ncfrcnm, s nu m cfrt cu sunrtn, fu ncfrcnm dnn rsputfrn, s nu furmfz gndurn nfgntn!f. Ntuncn cnd fn n urn, dfunrfcf mnm udnt, ncfrcnm cn s-u nflfg, ncfrcnm s mn cfr u nfrtnrf mut, c fu n-nm dnt dnn nuu ntt df lucru. Fu ncfrcnm, s-n mulumfsc pfntru tut cf fcfn fn. Nu n fust uur, dnr cu tnmpul n mfrs mnn nnnf, n n !rfmf nm n!nt chnnr, s supurt durfrnlf, fr s m plng, fr s fnc rfpruurn, ntuncn cnd fn m npucn fr nlndff. "ut tnmpul l n!fnm pf tntn n fnn uchnnlur mfn n tnnm, c fu trfnunn s rfufsc. Fu frnm ffrm dfcns, s ndnug pnrtfn mfn, s dfclnnfz mncn mfn ln!nn, dnr frnm tut tnmpul dnn nuu dfznmgnt, c fn nu sf furmn sprf n df!fnn u ln!nn mnrf cn s sf rstugulfnsc n !nlf n s nnmncfnsc tutul cf-n sttfn n cnlf. *nn cuntr, nu sf ntmpln nnmnc, nnsulut nnmnc! Nncn frnnn mfn nu mn fcfnu !nnn mnn uunr. Fn nu sf ngrn fnu df mnnf, n ntuncn cnd trfnunnu s-u fc, u fcfnu cuntrn !unnfn lur. n ncfst lucru m fcfnu s-l snmt. Fstf nfmrgnnnt df umnlntur, s nu tf pun mncn nprunpf dfluc n s fn n nnt ucurnt pfntru ncfnstn. &fntru urfchnnlf sntunsf nr sunn cn u glum, ntuncn cnd fn m lsnu n crucnurul mfu df cupnn ln mnrgnnfn tfrfnulun df futnnl, n utnu cu mnngfn pf lng mnnf n strngnu- "u ftn purtnrul, nn grn cn nu cum!n s rntfzn! Fu ns nu nm snmnt nncnudnt ncfst lucru cn fnnnd durfrus. )hnnr dnc rfufnm ncum, s nu mnn fnu suprnt pf fn, n ndncul suflftulun durfn tutun dfstul df tnrf. Multf nstffl df ncnnf n trfnunt s ndur. Ntuncn cnd frnnn mfn mprfun cu cnmnrnznn lur df unc nu unsfr!nt c mn frn scrn df nruntf, sf dnstrnu df mnnunf, s lf prnnd n s mn lf nruncf n punl. Nm fust lsnt n crucnur pfntru n n!fn dfstul !ntfz pf dfnl n us, c nprunpf mn nturcfn stumncul pf dus snu m punfnu ntr-un cul, ntuncn cnd nu putfnm fn fulusnt. 'rn frnm nfr pfntru fn, frn !unf, fr cn fn s fnf pfdfpsnn, s nu m nngf n sfnm - s urlu snu s fug dup fn nu putfnm - , snu fu frnm prn!nt cn u ucrnf. Nmnflf lucrurn sunt dfstul df umnlntunrf. Fr Mnchnfl, fr cununtfrfn, cnrf fl mn-u drunn, m-n fn upus cu sngurnn n suprnrfn, furnn n trnstffn m-nr fn rupt n nntfrnur. *nr mnn ru m lu!fn cumptnmnrfn unmfnnlur mnn ntrnn. +nn *umnfzfulf, ct df srnc fstf! F,nst, unrf, ntr-ndf!r, s fnf nn df mnc n nn df dffurmnt( Fstf fn, unrf, hnndncnpnt mnntnl( %nu puntf s gndfnsc punn( Frn grfu df supurtnt, s fnu ucrnn frnnnlur mfn. $n fn mnn nsfmnnm cfl punn cf!n. N!fm u !nlunrf unrfcnrf. *nr nn( %ngur, ncftn unmfnn nu u spunfnu dnn rutntf. *nr fn mn lnpfnu prnn ncfnst tnmpnl n nncumpftfnfn nnsulutf. Ncfnst mnl dnstrugfn tuntf !nlurnlf, tf punfn pf cfn mnn uns scnr n f,nstfnfn umfnftn, nfngnt n sfnm, nfnunnt, nu ftn lunt n sfrnus, dunr tulfrnt. n ct df dfs fstf fnls ncfnst mnl, dunr u mnsc n spnnmfn, c n puntf lu!n chnnr pf fn, c fn !ur trfnun ln rndul lur s sf dfscurcf cu un cupnl hnndncnpnt, cu tunt muncn ncffn, cu tuntf suffrnnflf n mnn nlfs- cf !ur spunf cfnlnln( )t df dfs sf nudf dnn ncfn mnl uurnrfn, c nu fust scutnn df ncfnstn! n trnstffn, cnrf u f,prnm, fstf dfsfurn ngruzntunrf- ncfst lucru mn s-nr fn putut ntmpln n mnf! *nc nu prfn nn cf fncf cu !ucfn, cu urfchnnlf n cu mnnnlf, rmnf dunr pusnnnlntntfn, s culfzn snmurnlf. )fn mnn muln unmfnn, n spus udnt Mnchnfl, nu tnu nncn mcnr c f,nst ncfst snm, ncfl snm pfntru !nnrnnnlf unmfnnlur dnn urul nustru. "untf gndurnlf n sfntnmfntflf sunt !nnrnnn. Ntuncn cnd un gnd fstf gndnt, nf prsftf fl n furmn unfn mncn cnntntn df fnfrgnf, cnrf sf mprtnf cn lumnnn n tuntf prnlf. )urpul nu pusfd un urgnn pfntru n putfn rfcfpnunn ncfstf !nnrnnn. *nr spnrntul nustru puntf! )nnf ncfnrc, s mprfunfzf spnrntul mprfun cu curpul, !n rfcfpnunn nmfdnnt ncfstf !nnrnnn n lf !n nflfgf curfct. )upnnn mncn pusfd n cflf mnn multf cnzurn ncfst snm. %nu cum sf puntf f,plncn nltffl, c unnn cupnn ln nnumnn nduln, pf cnrf nu n-nu !zut nncnudnt, ncfp dfudnt s urlf n chnnr n cu mult rndnrf nu n mnn pun lnnntn, n tnmp cf cu nlnn, tut ntt df strnnn, sunt ntr-ndf!r ncrfzturn( *n, muln cupnn nc mnn pusfd ncfst snm. *nr n luc s fnf ntfnn ndulnn ln ncfstn, df!nn mn urntntfn ndulnlur suprnn- "u cupnl prust, cf s-n ntmplnt cu tnnf! )upnlul unsfnr! n scurt tnmp, c ncfnst rfncnf nu fstf durnt n cu tnmpul u unt. %nngurul lucru, cf rmnf n urm ln mnrfn mn urntntf, fstf sfntnmfnul snmpntnfn snu nntnpntnfn, cu tuntf c snmpntnn nu fstf nnmnc nltcf!n, dfct c !nnrnnnlf cflunlnlt sunt pf ncffnn und df !nlurn, n tnmp cf nntnpntnn nsfnmn dnffrfnn n ncflfn frfc!fnf df !nnrnnn. &rnn ncfn snngurtntf, n cnrf fu nm crfscut, nm putut s dfz!ult ncfst snm dnn cf n cf mnn mult. Nnmfnn nu n ncfrcnt s mn spun cf!n n ncfnst prn!nn, dfunrfcf nnmfnn nu tnn. n df ln Mnchnfl nm prnmnt n uturul

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cu!fnnt. &f mnnf df mult !rfmf nu m mnn puntf mnnn nnmfnn. %f puntf snmn nmfdnnt, dnc cu!nntflf ncupfr !nnrnnnlf gndurnlur snu nu. n ct df dfs nu curfspund! )t df dfs sf nscundf n spntflf cu!nntflur rustntf rfpfdf .srncul um/ dunr spfrnnn, s nu n ung chnnr fn n ncfnst sntunnf! n ct df dfs sf spunf dunr nn fr nncn mcnr punn df cumpnsnunf! )t df dfs fstf scuzn- Fu nu nm putut, pfntru c n sfnsul ndf!rntFu nu nm !rut. n ct df dfs ln nfnrmnnn- )upnlul n punrt cu stuncnsm durfrfn, nm fust mpnns sprf cfn mnn uns trfnpt lumfnsc, ndnc, u !nn df nftrnt, cnrf fstf dunr tulfrnt! )f nrf df-n fncf cu curpul, sunt n fu df ncurd. *unr - fstf curpul !nnn mfn( %unt fu curpul mfu( %pnrntul mfu nu sf lsn nflnt df dnscursurnlf crfdnncnunsf nlf cflurlnln. Fl frn n stnrf s fnc dnffrfnn ntrf mnsc n chnp. Fu nu trfnunn s crfd cffn, cf mn sf spunfn, fu putfnm s !frnfnc dnc fstf ndf!rnt. Nu fstf ncfst lucru mnn nmpurtnnt( )f fstf !nnn( )unst dunr dnn n ucn futnnl n df n fncf cuprturn( Fu mn-nm rspuns df n df mult !rfmf ln ncfnst ntrfnnrf. %nngurnn, dnn !nnn mfn, cnrf m-nu nccfptnt nn cum sunt, ncfnstn n fust surn Nfnfdnctn dnn clnnnc, frn tntl mfu, n nnnfnflfs Mnchnfl. &fntru surn Nfnfdnctn nm fust un cupnl cn urncnrf nltul. Fu frnm nulnn! n frn df nflfs, c fn m n utn. Fu frnm un .nulnn! nurmnl/, nncn mnn mult nncn mnn punn. &fntru tntn frnm fnncn pf cnrf fl u nunfn. )u sngurnn c nu mn nunfn curpul, fl frn dfsfurn trnst dnn cnuzn lun. Fl nunfn umul, cnrf frn n ncfl trup, ncfl um, cnrf *umnfzfu l-n crfnt cn n pf fl n prnn ncfnstn n!fn tut ncffnn !nlunrf cn n fl. &fntru Mnchnfl frnm un prnftfn. 'n prnftfn, pf cnrf trfnunn s-l ghndfzf, pf cnrf trfnunn s-l nntruduc n sfcrftflf !nfnn, pur n snmplu surn sn mnn tnr, pf cnrf u nccfptn cu tuntf grfflnlf n slnncnunnlf, n fl ncfrcn dnn rsputfrn s m rndncf, cu ghndnrfn sn, lng fl, pf trfnpt. *ur, dnr tutun nunntur. Fu frnm .nurmnl/ cn urncnrf nltul. Nnmnc mnn mult snu mnn punn. n fu !runnm dunr s fnu- .nurmnl/, un um, nnmnc mnn mult snu mnn punn. Ntuncn cnd l-nm rugnt pf Mnchnfl s-mn dfn u mn df n utur, n pus fl dunr u snngur ntrfnnrf- )um !rfn s n!fn, cn s fnn umnl, fr s nu fn fust nncnudnt umnlnt( )rfzn tu, c un rfgf nr putfn n!n !rfudnt cn s fnf umnl - snu un n!nngtur(@Nu, cu sngurnn, nu. Fnn mulumnt cu cfn, cnrf tf umnlfsc, ccn fn n dnu ncfnst nns. Nncnundf nu fstf scrns- Mndrul n n!nngturul !ur mutfnn mprnn cfrurnlur. *unr n umnlnn sf puntf *umnfzfu nfln. 'mnlnnn fstf nsunturul pfrmnnfnt nl drngustfn, n !n dfschndf punrtn sprf cfr, n !n crun drumul sprf *umnfzfu. 'mnlnnn nu fstf fflul frncus df gndnrf n unur spnrntf srncf, nn cum crfd unnn. 'mnlnnn nu nsfnmn, s nccfpn tutul, pfntru c nu tf pun mputrn!n. 'mnlnnn nu fstf nnmnc pnsn!. % tf prfdnn, ncfnstn fstf rfsfmnnrf, nu fstf umnlnn. Ndf!rntn umnlnn, cfrf u !unn nctn!, cfrf curn , curn ul, s n dnn nf mnn punn nmpurtnn dfct nltunn. Nu fstf umnlnn ntuncn, cnd ncfrcn s tf n usftn n f,tfrnur n s gndftn n nntfrnur- *f fnpt sunt n nn mnn nnlt dfct ncfstn, cf um supfrn sunt, c nm rfunt, s m n usfsc ncfstun prustu!nn# pfntru ncfst gfst !n n!fn *umnfzfu cu sngurnn nucurnn %n mnrf! 'mnlnnn ndf!rnt nu punrt nncn u mnsc, fn nu fstf nncn un uc. Nu fstf umnl, s tf nruncn n fnn lun *umnfzfu n nnsnp, dunr pfntru c n-f frnc n sfcrft, c Fl nr putfn s tf nruncf n .nnd/. Ndf!rntn umnlnn fstf cfn sun cunducfrfn drngustfn pfntru *umnfzfu, n nu dnn cnuzn frncnn. n n mn lucul sfmfnnlur nu fstf ndf!rntn umnlnn, cn nu cum!n s fncn !rfu grffnl, cn dnn cun!nngfrfn, c fnfcnrf dnntrf nun fstf u fnnn n lun *umnfzfu, n nu nf fstf pfrmns crntncn. *unr *umnfzfu puntf s fn,fzf !nlunrfn fnfcrunn, n Fl nr putfn dfsfurn s dfpfnsc unntnlf nunstrf. "u nn tuntf mutn!flf, cn s fn mulumnt df mprf urrnlf tnlf. "f-nu n!nt funrtf multf lucrurn. "u nn fust ns n un flf! snlntur n unflf lucrurn lf-nn nncurnt nn df tnrf n tnnf, c nu tf mnn cust nncn un ffurt. Fu !rfnu ncum s-n dnu u mnc lfcnf, cnrf tf !n cunducf ntrfngn tn !nn n tf !n nducf ln stngnul suprfm. Fstf cfl mnn grfu lucru, fstf curunnn umnlnnfn, fstf sntunnn spnrntunl, cnrf n scurt tnmp nr schnmnn pmntul ntr-un pnrndns ndf!rnt)frfn nfrtnrf, c tu ftn mutn!ul suprrnn snu fnfr!rnn lur, chnnr dnc prn!nnd dnn punctul umfnfsc nn tutun drfptntf. Ntuncn cnd unul tf nntf, ntuncn cfrfn nfrtnrf, c tu nn fust mutn!ul, pfntru cnrf fl s-n suprnt. Ntuncn cnd cnnf!n tf nnt ucurftf dnn cnuzn nspfctulun tu, ntuncn cfrfn nfrtnrf pfntru nfnnrfn tn. n dnc unul fstf dfrnn nt df prfzfnn tn, ntuncn cfrfn nfrtnrf pfntru curpul tu. "u crfzn c fu nm nfnunnt( Nu! Fu !urnfsc funrtf sfrnus. 0ncfnrc s nflfgn tu ncfnstn nn. Nn cn f,fmplu un flf!. 0n!turul su l cfnrt funrtf sf!fr, dnn cnuzn nutflur snlf prunstf. Flf!ul spunf tut fflul df scuzf pfntru nfrtnrfn sn, nnr n!turul df!nnf n mnn suprnt. )f crfzn tu c s-nr fn ntmplnt, dnc flf!ul nr fn rspuns*n, fu tnu, mn pnrf ru, c m-nm cumpurtnt ntt df prust. 0n!turul nr fn df!fnnt nmfdnnt mnn prnftfnus n l-nr fn cunsulnt. Ncfst lucru fstf !nlnnnl n urncnrf sntunnf. Gndftf-tf ln un pulnnst, cnrf fstf mustrnt df supfrnurul su, pfntru c ncfstunn n-n scpnt un nnfrnctur. %cuzf gfnfrnlf cn- n fust prfn ntunfrnc, mnnnn nu n purnnt rfpfdf, culfgul mfu m-n mpnfdncnt, nu df unncfn fffctul cuntrnrnu. )um nr rfncnunn unrf un ff ln rspunsul snncfr- Nmn pnrf ru, mn-n fust pur n snmplu frnc, n df ncffn nm dnt grf! %nu ntuncn cnd sf fnfr!fnz fful, c sfcrftnrn lun n nducf nctflf n ultnmn zn df rgnz, pf cnrf fl n dfcns-u( Nnnfnflfs, fn puntf spunf- )f !rfn, fu nm n!ut tnmp pn nstzn. )u ncfnst nfnrmnnf nr n!fn drfptntf. *nr fn puntf fn umnl n s spun- 0mn pnrf ru, fu nm lucrnt funrtf ncft, fstf !nnn mfn, ! rug frumus s m nfrtnn. )nnf !n putfn rmnf nncn dur( Fn n-n dnt lun cu ncfnstn pusnnnlntntfn, s fnf nnnmus, s spun- &n dn, nu fstf tutun chnnr nn df ru. *umnfn!unstr nu trfnunf ntr-ndf!r s ! fncfn rfpruurn. Mnnn s-n spulnfrnt, n lucul fn pftf sfntnmfntul, c nn nlnntnt pf cnnf!n, c nn n utnt pf cnnf!n.

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'mnlnnn snu smfrfnnn fstf nrudnt cu drngustfn. Fn nu-l rnftf pf cfllnlt nncnudnt, fn nu susnnf nncnudnt ffrm drfptul fn, fn prfnn !nnn ln snnf n n crfnz prnn ncfnstn cflunlnlt pusnnnlntntfn, s-n rftrng mnnn lun, rfpruurnlf lun n s lf nlucunnsc cu sfntnmfntf puzntn!f nlf nflfgfrnn, nfrtrnn, nn chnnr nlf nunnrnn. *funrfcf, ncum, stnrfn df spnrnt gfnfrnl df pf plnnftn pmnt dfpnndf df frfc!fnn strnn df spnrnt gfnfrnlf n sfntnmfntflur n n gndurnlur, pun n tu cu ncfnstn s unnn u mnuntnrf n sntunnfn gfnfrnlf, tu nn mnuntnt fffctn! lumfn. Mnn mult nu pun tu fncf. n ncfnstn df nncn fstf dfstul df grfu. Fu crfd c tf-nm nflfs ncum. *nr dfunrfcf tnnm fu, c mn-nr fn nfsfrnt df grfu, s m umnlfsc nstffl, nm ncfrcnt fu s nrunc ultnmul mfu ntu n uc*nr fu sunt tutun mut! "cut mn-n zmnnt fl, pf umtntf mnlus, pf umtntf cu rfpruurn. 0nc nu tnn tu, c, cumunncnrfn nu funcnunfnz numnn prnn !ucf( "u pun s f,prnmn ntr-un mud spnrntunl mult mnn rfpfdf, mult mnn prfcns, cffn cf fstf prfrfn tn. "u trfnunn tutun numnn s gndftn. *nc tu l rugn snncfr n duh pf frntflf tu s tf nfrtf, fstf ncfnstn ncflnn lucru, cn n cum tu l-nn fn rugnt ntr-ndf!r pfntru ncfst lucru. *uhul lun fstf ntutdfnunn n stnrf, s prfnn uscnlnnn tn n s nccfptf scuzn tn. Fr s-n fnf cuntnfnt ncfst prucfdfu, sf schnmn nstffl ncft sfntnmfntflf snlf. n dup un tnmp fstf s!rnt cfrfrfn df nfrtnrf, fr sn fnf lun cunuscut ncfst mfcnnnsm. Ncfnstn funcnunfnz ntutdfnunn! Numnn ctfudnt nu nfnprnt n ncfl tnmp, pf cnrf nn l-nm prupus pfntru ncfst lucru. )u sngurnn ns n ncfl rstnmp, cnrf fstf putrn!nt pfntru ncfnstn. Fstf ns u dnffrfn ntrf duh n cu!nt- duhul trfnunf s fnf cnnstnt! %unt tutun gndurnlf, cnrf sf trnnsmnt# df ncffn nncn nu fstf pusnnnl s gndftn, c ncum fnc pur n snmplu nn df pnrc. Ncfst lucru nu funcnunfnz nncnudnt! *f cu!nntf dnmputrn! sf lns ln ncfput nc muln nmgnn# dnr pf durnt lung nu mfrgf nncn ncfst lucru. Nnrn fusfsfrm mult tnmp mprfun. Fu putfnm s-l nscult pf Mnchnfl urf n nr. $n fl nu m plnctnsfnm nncnudnt. Fu nu tnu, cf nm sn!urnt mnn mult, prfzfnn lun snu mprf urnmfn, pfnsn ul, n cnrf nf nflnm nun df fnfcnrf dnt. )nd fl df!fnfn tcut, m lun df mn n nun cutrfnfrnm ncft punfnflf nnnf-mnrusntunrf, m cuprnndfn cu tnmpul tutdfnunn frncn, c trfnunn ncun nnrn s m trfzfsc, s scnp df !ns. 'h dnc n putfn fu tutun s rmn numnn nncn pfntru tutdfnunn! Ncfst lucru nu frn pusnnnl. Fu tnnm nnnf nstn. 3 Fu n-nm fust surprnns, cnd l-nm !zut dfudnt pf tntn. Fl frn nnrn nncn, cflf nsf sptmnn trfcusfr. Ncfstfn nu fust sptmnn lungn. 0n nrnflf snlf nm fust fu nnrn cnnf!n, nu trfnunn s m runnfz. 0n nrnflf snlf s-n trnnsfurmnt rucn urt. Fu trfnunn s m gndfsc ln prnmn mfn pnfs df tfntru, pf cnrf nm putut s-u !d. Fu nm n!ut prn!nlfgnul, s fd n prnmul rnd nprunpf snngur. &fntru c cnnf !runn tutun s sf nfzf lng u hnndncnpnt! "ntn frn tutdfnunn funrtf trnst dnn prncnnn ncfstun lucru. &f fl l durfnu dfznprunrnlf n lu!nturnlf n cunst cuntnnuf, prudfntn mfrgfrf-ln-dnstnn, frncunsn rftrngfrf-nnpun mult mnn tnrf dfct pf mnnf. Fl suffrfn ntr-ndf!r pfntru mnnf. Fl frn n stnrf, s snmt pfntru mnnf n cu mnnf. Fl m nunfn. &u!fstfn cnrf s-n pus n scfn, sf numfn- 2ucn urt. Frn !urnn dfsprf u ruc, cnrf frn cu tutul nltffl fn df cflflnltf n frn tut tnmpul nt ucurnt dnn cnuzn nfnrnn snlf, tucmnn rucn urt. &n cf fn n prsnt ntr-u zn curtfn df rutf dnn cnuzn n nttn mhnnrf n n nlfs un lnc mnrf sprf n-n fn nuun pntrnf, undf fn spfrn, s punt trn nfrfcunuscut n pncf. *nr n lncul ncfln frnu n lfndf, n dfudnt n !zut fn n nmngnnfn sn uglnndnt n np u lfnd mnnunnt df frumuns. 'ltnmn prupuznnf, pf cnrf n rustnt-u pu!fstnturul, sunnNu dunfnz dfluc, s fnn nscut ntr-u curtf df rnf, dnc nn fust numnn ntr-un uu df lfndn. Fu nm rffurmulnt ntuncn prupuznnnNu dunfnz df luc, s fnn nscut hnndncnpnt, dnc..., dn, dnc duhul unnnf prnn ncfnstn pusnnnlntntfn, df n fncf f,pfrnfnf, pf cnrf fl nltffl nu lf-nr fn putut fncf nncnudnt. 0n nunptfn urmtunrf n!usfsfm fu un !ns. Fu ucnm tfntru. Frn u pnfs cu un snngur nctur. Fu trfnunn s uc tuntf rulurnlf snngur, clu!nul, rfgflf, nfgusturul, nnrtnul, nfntul, !ftfrnnnn df rznun cu numnn un sngur pncnur n sulnstul df upfr. Fnfcnrf scfn prnmfn nplnuzf putfrnncf. $n sfrnt m-nm nrtnt fu nc u dnt n tuntf cflf nptf mtn. Nplnuzflf s-nu trnnsfurmnt ntr-un urcnn. Ntuncn nm !fnnt fu ultnmn dnt fr mnsc, numnn cn um, nu mnn cn nctur. Ntuncn s-nu rndncnt unmfnnn n nu plfcnt. Fu plngfnm. *nrfcturul m-n nlnntnt- Ncfnstn fstf tutdfunn nn. Nu pun schnmnn nnmnc ln ncfst lucru. 'mul nu-n nntfrfsfnz, fn !ur numnn mnscn. Ncum, tntn frn nnrn nncn, pf fl nu-l nntfrfsn nncn u mnsc, fl m nunfn. n ncfst lucru frn nfsfrnt df frumus. "ntn rfunsf s prnmfnsc un nuu luc df munc. Fl putfn lucrn cu umtntf df nurm n urn, cn mturtur df strnd n sntul !fcnn mnn mnrf. 0n nfnr df ncfnstn, n ncfput fl, s sf ucupf nnrn df guspudrnf. *nn punct df !fdfrf fnnnncnnr nsfmnn ncfnstn ntr-ndf!r u pnfrdfrf nmfns, dnr tntn frn ffrncnt. Fl sf nucurn pfntru muncn nfnr n nfr lnnfr, n nntur, cnrf n cfrfn nnrn n ustfnfln curpurnlf, n cuntrnrnu cu nctn!ntntfn lun df pn ncum n hnlflf df muntn glgnunsf n prust nfrnsntf. Fl nncn nu ddfn nmpurtnn prfstngnulun sucnnl, fl nunfn mult mnn mult lnnntfn muncnn, cnrf n ngdunn tnmp pfntru gndurnlf snlf, pfntru lfgturn cu *umnfzfu. Mnmn s-n upus funrtf tnrf ln ncfput nmputrn!n cunurrnn sucnnlf, n mputrn!n pnfrdfrnn fnnnncnnrf, cffn cf nsfmnn tutun rfstrngfrn sfmnnfncntn!f. "ntn n-n rfncnunnt nncnudnt dur ln nfnrnlf fn

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df furnf. Fl lf-n supurtnt umnl cu lnnntf stunc, n-n f,plncnt fn ntutdfnunn punctul su df !fdfrf, lnnntnt, ln unnfct n f,nct - dnr plnn df drngustf. n fu crfd c cu tnmpul n n nccfptnt fn ncfst fnpt. Fn l n utn pf tntn chnnr n n guspudrnf, ncft df!fnnsf fn u rnnc ndf!rnt. n cu tuntf c ctfudnt frn mult df lucru, n-n fcut fn nstn tutun nnnf, s lucrfzf nfnr. Ncum nm fust nun nnrn u fnmnlnf ndf!rnt. Fflul lnnntnt nl tntlun, nurn lun, sf nfln cn un cluput prutfctur pfstf nun tun, nf ddfn lnnntf. Ncfnstn nsfmnn mnrflf mumfnt df cutntur dnn !nnn nunstr. &fntru mnnf ncfpfn un tnmp mnnunnt. Fnfcnrf zn n lun tntn unn pn ln duu urf pfntru mnnf. Fl mn-n n prfdnt lnmnn surdu-munlur n fcfn f,frcnnn gnmnnstncf cu mnnf. Nu frn uur. Nn!turn m sulncntn funrtf tnrf, gnmnnstncn frn nfplcut, ndfsfn durfruns. *nr fu sn!urnm drngustfn, cnrf sf rf!rsn nspurn mfn df ln tntl mfu. Mnmn fcusf tutun df n n nnnntf ncfstf f,frcnnn dnn cnd n cnd cu mnnf, dnr scurgfrfn ncfsturn curnt mfcnnnc, nndnffrfnn dnn pnrtfn fn fcfnu s df!nn ncfstfn un chnn pfntru mnnf. Mult tnmp rspunsfsfm fu df ncffn puznnn fn rfspnngtunrf tut cu rfspnngfrf. *f cnd nm putut fu ntuncn s nn sfntnmfntflf mflf mnn nnnf sun cuntrul cu n uturul lun Mnchnfl, m dfrnn nu ncfstfn df n cu mult mnn punn. Frn ncfnstn u rfcununtfrf funrtf nmpurtnnt pfntru mnnf, cum unn n ncffnn dfsfurnrf, ncffnn durfrf putfn fn snmnt pf dfplnn nltffl. Fusfsf un sfmn lmurnt, c, cnlfn nlfns frn curfct, c putfnm n trfnunnm s nm pf dfplnn ncrfdfrf n Mnchnfl, dnc !runnm s n ung mnn dfpnrtf. n s n ung mnn dfpnrtf, !runnm fu! Fu !runnm s fulusfsc nnsn, pf cnrf mn-u uffrfn ncfnst !nn, !runnm s ndun nttfn f,pfrnfnf prfcum frn numnn cum!n pusnnnl. *nc fu n prfnm n f,tfrnur fr pnrtncnpnrf n dfnnl, duhul mfu frn cu ntt mnn !nun, n !unnn mfn frn funrtf putfrnnc. Fu dunr tnnm df ln Mnchnfl, ct df grfu frn, s prnmftn un trup tnn tu, spusf fl, mnlnnrdf df suflftf ntfnpt, s sf punt ncrnn. Flf tnu, c put s n ung n dfz!ultnrfn lur numnn ntuncn mnn dfpnrtf, dnc flf sf ncnrnfnz pf pmnt. $n ncfnstn fstf ns nf!unf df dun unmfnn, cnrf sunt dnspun, s pun ln dnspuznnf un .luc df prfgtnrf/, pfntru n-n fncf pusnnnl unun cupnl ncfnst !nn. Mfntnlntntfn nctunl fstf pfntru tuntf ncfstf suflftf u lu!ntur n fn. )fn mnn muln unmfnn sunt ntr-ndf!r nucurun, s nnn !unf s trnnsc nncn, s fn fust nscun, dnr cfn mnn punnn sunt dnspun, s dfn ncfnst !nn mnn dfpnrtf, pfntru c fn trfnunf ln ncfnstn s rfnunf ln u nucnt n lnnfrtnn lur prfsupusf. Ncftn unmfnn sf crfd lnnfrn, sunt df prfrf c nu sunt lfgnn n sunt dfpfndfnn df pnluln znlnnc cn un nlculnc df !frmut. Fn n nchnpunf, c sunt lnnfrn, prnn fnptul c !nzntfnz ct sf puntf df multf rn strnnf n nu n dnu sfnmn, c sf nfl sun unlngntn!ntntfn, df n clturn n dfprtrn, pfntru c snmt n nntfrnurul lur numnn !nd. Ncftn unmfnn sunt ntuncn cnrnctfrnznn cn fnnnd cu f,pfrnfn df !nn, prn!nn cu rfspfct prufund n cu nn!ndnf n dnn dnn mn-n mn cn sfnnn. )um nr fn dnc s-nr putfn fncf f,pfrnfnf f,tfrnunrf! Ndf!rntf f,pfrnfnf sf put fncf numnn n nntfrnur. $n ncfst lucru nu fstf nf!unf df culturn strnnf n rn ndfprtntf, fstf nf!unf dunr df unmfnn, cnrf nf ncun unr, pruffsnn, pf cnrf nm n!nt-u n mprf urrnlf df !nn, crurn lf suntfm sunurdunnn. Muln cunsndfr cn fnnnd ncfnstn u lnnfrtntf, s pun nfn fnfcnrf sfnr n urn, fr n fn nf!unt s nn sfnmn df cnnf!n. $n ncfnstn fn nu rfnlnzfnz, c sf nfl sun ncfn unlngntn!ntntf, s fnf nf!unn s nccfptf fnfcnrf nn!ntnnf, pfntru n fn .nn/ n nnumntf cfrcurn df cunutnnf, chnnr dnc ntmusffrn fstf ct sf puntf df rngnd n dnscunn ct sf puntf df nnnnl. Fn trfnunf fnfcnrf sfnr s nns n urn, pfntru c nu put s ncfnp nnmnc cu fn nnn, fnnndc lf fstf frnc fn df fn nnn, pfntru c lf fstf frnc, c, cnd n prpnstnn, cnrf sf dfschndf n nntfrnurul lur. Fn sucutfsc cn fnnnd lnnfrtntf, s dfnn dfstun nnnn n s-n punt chfltun dup nunul plnc, nu rfnlnzfnz ns, c fn sf nfl sun prfsnunfn df unlngnnf, s cunduc tutdfnunn mnnnn cfn mnn nuu n cfn mnn rnpnd, pfntru n nnsufln cu ncfnstn rfspfct cflurlnln. Fn nu sunt n stnrf, s-l !nd pf um, s fnc cu fl cuntnct, s ndmnt sfntnmfntflf lun. Fn !d numnn ncturul, mnrnunftflf ncflfn ncun urntf cu hnnnf, mnnnn, lucnn n prfstngnu sucnnl. Muln mfrg nstzn df n nn df dfpnrtf, s trnnsc pf dfplnn snngurn, s sf flnmnnf cuntnfnt n nfnrn urdnnnn *umnfzfnftn, pfntru n putfn sntnsfncf nfstnnghfrnn durnnflf n pntnmnlf lur. Fn cunsndfr cn fnnnd lnnfrtntf, s punt ntrfnnf rflnnn sf,unlf cu urncnrf pnrtfnfr n nu n dnu sfnmn, c fn sunt numnn prnzunnfrn nn !ncnnlur lur, c fn nu mnn put s fnf stpnn pf snnf, pfntru c nnstnnctul lur sf,unl n-n nrunnt pf dfplnn. Fn cunsndfr ncfnstn cn fnnnd lnnfrtntf, s punt prnctncn spurturnlf cflf mnn f,trn!ngnntf n nu-n dnu sfnmn, c fn sf nfl sun unlngntn!ntntf, s sf cunfnrmf n fnn lur nnn n n fnn cflurlnln cu nptntudnnn curpurnlf, pfntru c cflf spnrntunlf nu s-nu mnturnznt nc snu s-nu pnfrdut df n. )ffn cf cuntfnz, fstf numnn curpul, f,tfrnurul, f,punfrfn. +nlurn ndf!rntf nu sunt cfrutf, dunr nu sf put !fdfn, n ftn tutun numnn .cnnf!n/, dnc cfnlnln sf unt gur cnsc. *funrfcf cfn mnn punnn supurt ntr-ndf!r s fnf snngurn, trfnunf ntuncn urgnnnzntf ntrunnrn mnn mnrn, ln cnrf fstf mult mnn snmplu, s tf nscunzn n spntflf mtnn tnlf snu n spntflf cflurlnln. ' rflnnf fstf nccfptnt numnn pn ln punnt uf nu rfturn , dfcn pn ln ncfl punct, undf rnnunfn mnn puntf nc cuntruln sfntnmfntflf, rnnunfn, cnrf lucrfnz nn df mnzfrnnnl, c df fnpt nr trfnun s fnf f,nct nn!frs- snmul nr trfnun s stpnfnsc rnnunfn. n tuntf ncfstfn numnn dnn ncfn cnuz, pfntru c ncfstur unmfnn lf fstf tfnm, s sf dfschnd nltcun!n pf dfplnn, s-l prfnn pf ncfstn pf dfplnn n snmul lur. Frnc, df n fn nf!unt s dnn mnscn us n s stnn nncn gul. Frnc c cfllnlt nr putfn s-n rnfnsc, dup cf fn n-nu dnt us nrmurn lur, plntun cflur f,tfrnunrf. 'n nstffl df fgunsm n dunfnz suflftulun cu mult mnn mult, dfct cfn mnn muln put numnn s-n n nmngnnfzf. *nc n-nr fn nnstnnctul sf,unl nfnfrnnt, n dnc nu n-nr ncurcn sfmnnfncntn! mfrfu nnrn untnrfn n nfsngurnnn cflur mnn multf mn luncf prf!fntn!f, ntuncn n-nr mnn fn ncun nnsulut df luc pusnnnl, s fnn nscut pf ncfnst plnnft. )u tuntf c nr fn pusnnnl cu punn !unn nun n fr prunlfmf mn urf, s ndpustftn n s hrnftn pf pmnt df zfcf urnA!B mnsn df unmfnn nctunl, sf fncf nstzn tut pusnnnlul, s sf dfcnmfzf umfnnrfn, n unflf rn chnnr dnn cnuzn lfgnn, sun nmfnnnnrfn cu pfdfnps n cnz df nclcnrf. n dnc mn luncflf df prfcnunf sf,unl sunt df n pf dfplnn nfsngurf, n nnumf fr f,cfpnf, dfunrfcf flf trntfsc pruprnlur frnn n sururn un n fnn nnsulun, nstffl fstf n!urtul cfn mnn mnrf crnm mputrn!n umulun, cnrf n

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f,nstnt !rfudnt n cnrf !n f,nstn !rfudnt. *f n ln zmnslnrf, ndnt dup mprfunnrfn cflulfn df smn cu cfluln uu, fstf mncul trup - dfsprf ncfstn fstf nnumf df n !urnn - lucunt df un suflft. Nu fstf n tut unn!frsul nfmrgnnnt un snngur ntum, cnrf nu fstf nsuflfnt. Fnfcnrf nnnmnl, fnfcnrf plnnt, nn chnnr fnfcnrf pnntr fstf nsuflfnt, n nncn s pnrcurg ntuncn tucmnn fnnnn cfn mnn dfz!ultnt u stnrf fr suflft( "u nsun nn nflnt, ntuncn cnd nn luptnt cu mnmn tn pfntru !nnn tn n tf-n snl!nt nsfrnt numnn dfzncurdul nnsulut nl tntlun tu. Nmprf urrnlf df !nn pf cnrf lf-nn gsnt tu nncn, n sf putrn!fsc nf nn df prfcns, sf putrn!fsc cu dfz!ultnrfn tn spnrntunl, c nr fn durnt ntr-ndf!r mult tnmp, s sf gsfnsc nnrn mprf urrn nsfmntunrf pfntru tnnf. Mnn mult df cnncnzfcn df mnlnunnf trfnunf nnunl s pnrcurg ncfnst f,pfrnfn nmnr, c spfrnnn lur, s nnn !unf s sf dfz!ultf mnn dfpnrtf, s n ung ln un pns mnn nprunpf df *umnfzfu, fstf dnstrus nrutnl n fr mnl prnn n!urt. n tuntf ncfstfn numnn dnn fgunsm! *umnfzfu n df!fnnt un cu!nt strnn n ncfnst mprf urnmf. 'ndf stpnftf rcfnln, nghfn cldurn, n cu fn sf stnngf drngustfn. )t df muln mnn trfnunf s fnc ncfnst f,pfrnfn nmnr, nnnntf cn ncfstf gruz!nn s ncftfzf( 3 "ntl mfu n-n dnt mult ustfnfnl cu mnnf. $n ncfput nm strpnt urncf ffl df ncfrcnrf. Fu nu !runnm s prsfsc nzulnnn mfn. Fu durfm s mfnnn lnnntfn mfn. *nr Mnchnfl m-n cun!nns, c ncfst lucru nu fstf drfpt. *nc cnnf!n n d ustfnfnl n !rfn s tf n utf, ntuncn nu ncfrcn s-l dfznmgftn. Nu l rfpfzn, cn d-n ucnznn cn s tf n utf, n prnmftf cu mulumnrn n uturul su. )u tuntf ncfstfn nu sf putfn unsfr!n nncn un succfs. )u tunt putfrfn !unnfn nu mn rfufn, s put s-mn cuntrulfz mnnnlf n pncnunrflf. &fntru c nu n!fnm cf s fnc cu mnnnlf, nu mn frn pusnnnl, s n! lnmnn surdu-munlur. *unr s dnu dnn cnp, ncfst lucru l putfnm fncf cu npru,nmnnf. Nnzndu-sf pf nlfnnftul mursf, mn-n crfnt tntl mfu pusnnnlntntfn, s spun n s f,prnm strnctul nfcfsnr. n ncum frnm tutun f,trfm df nucuruns, c nu nm rfnunnt. Nu sf putfn dnscutn prfn nnnf, dnr cfl punn ln lucrurnlf cflf mnn nmpurtnntf n!fnm n fu un cu!nt df .spus/. 3 .)unncndfnn/ n !rut, cn pf !rfmfn ncffn s sf nflf n nprupnfrf pfntru ctf!n znlf un nugnn nndnnn n ductur, un NCuDfdf, cnrf n!fn fnnmn lucrrnlur mnrnculunsf. Nun spfrnnf s-nu nprnns dnn nuu n tntl mfu, ntuncn cnd n mfrs cu mnnf n urn. $n !nnrnnnlf, pf cnrf lf fmnnn nugnnul, nm unsfr!nt fu, c trfnunn s fnf un nrnnt funrtf sfnt. Fl n ncfput nmfdnnt s !urnfnsc cu mnnf n spnrnt, nn cum nm cunuscut fu ncfnstn dunr df ln Mnchnfl. )u tuntf c fu nu fcfnm nnmnc, putfn s-mn sdfnsc gndurnlf snlf, n fu nm tnut, c fl lf puntf rfcfpnunn n pf nlf mflf. Fl prfn s tnf tutul, prfn s nflfng tutul. "ntn n unsfr!nt, c sf pftrfcfnu lucrurn nfunnnuntf n sttfn ct df lnnntnt putfn. Frn frumus. Fu n fn durnt s fn stnt df !urn cu ncfst um urf n nr, cnrf m nflfgfn n ntrfgnmf n m nccfptn nfcundnnunnt. 0n sfrnt s-n nturs sprf tntl mfu n n-n spusFu nu nm !unf s-l n ut pf cupnlul !ustru! *nc fu nn-n !nndfcn curpul, ntuncn nn-n umur spnrntul. F,nst lfgn n mprf urrn, df cnrf trfnunf s nnfm sucutfnl, pf cnrf nu putfm n nu n!fm !unf s lf rsturnm. +fn putfn nfln ncfnstn n cfl mnn scurt tnmp. Ntuncn nu nm tnut nc, cf !runn s spun cu ncfn nfnrmnnf. $n plfcnrf m-n cuprnns n nrnflf snlf n m-n nnnfcu!ntnt. 'n sfntnmfnt df cldur n df putfrf m-n nnundnt, nn cum fu nu l-nm mnn cunuscut pn ncum. 0n culunnn mfn !frtfnrnl prfn s curg un curfnt, cnrf n fcut s !nnfrzf ntrfgul mfu curp. N fust nn df putfrnnc, c mn-nm pnfrdut cunutnnnn. %unrflf lumnnn. *f nnnn cu tnmpul nm rfnlnznt, cn nsfmnn ncfnstn. %unrflf lumnnn! Frn nprunpf, putfnm s ntnnd mnn dup fl. Fu nprunpf c nm f,pludnt df nucurnf. 0n lnnntf nm ngfnunchnnt n nm ncfput s m rug. Fu m-nm snmnt nn df nprunpf df *umnfzfu, fu tnnm, c Nnsus 7rnstus nu frn dfpnrtf, fu tnnm, c frn Fl, pf cnrf putfnm s-$ !d n ncfn lumnn. )uplfnt m-nm ntnns pf nnrn n nm sn!urnt ncfst mnrncul. *nr ncft n ncfput s sf lnsf cfnn. Fnf dup fnf df cfn n ncfput s ncupfrf sunrflf, pn cnd nu s-n mnn putut !fdfn nnmnc. 0n cfnn dfns nm !zut dup mult tnmp cum sf nprupnn df mnnf u lumnn. Frn Mnchnfl. Fl nnfn n mn cu un fflnnnr n purtn u mnntnf nln cu u glug mnrf nln. )f s-n ntmplnt Mnchnfl, nm nuznt fu ncum cum nm ntrfnnt, cf mprf urrn suntf ncfstfn, df cf nu sf puntf !fdfn !rfu lumnn, df cf nncn un pfnsn ( 'ndf sunt psrnlf, undf sunt flurnlf mnnunntf( *f cf fstf nn df rfcf nncn( Nu-n fnf tfnm, fu !un fn mfrfu nlturn df tnnf. )hnnr dnc !ntul dur !n stnngf lumnnn n tu nu m mnn !fn putfn !fdfn, sunt fu tutun nlturn df tnnf. *f ncffn gndftf-tf, dunr cldurn puntf rupf ncfnst cfn. n ntr-nfd!r !ntul n stnns ncfn lumnn dnn fflnnnrul su, n nprunpf n ncflnn tnmp s-n nuznt un zgumut nnffrnnl. )f!n pncn pfstf mnnf, m ngrupn pur n snmplu. Fu nu mnn n!fnm nfr, fu !runnm s urlu! *up ncffn nu nm mnn tnut nnmnc. 3 )nd nm dfschns uchnn m nflnm n spntnl. &fstf mnnf ntrnnu ctf!n stnclf, pfstf mnn multf furtunf pncurn cf!n n curpul mfu. Fu snmfnm mnrn durfrn n pncnur, cnpul frn lfgnt, tutul m durfn, n fu frnm funrtf unusnt.

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Nu frnm n stnrf, s gndfsc nurmnl, fu nu tnnm cf sf ntmpln cu mnnf. Fr n n!fn !rfun rspuns, nm ndurmnt dnn nuu. Fr !nsurn, ndnc n ntunfcnt n fust nunptfn, pn cnd m-nm trfznt nnrn. *f cf m nflnm fu nncn( *f cf frnm n pnt( )f s-n ntmplnt cu pncnurul mfu, dnr cu cnpul mfu( n mnn nlfs, undf frn tntn( Fu nu mnn putfnm s-l snmt, fl trfnunn s fnf undf!n dfpnrtf. Nncft s-nu nturs frnturnlf df nmnntnrn nnpun. Nun nm fust ln ncfl ductur nndnnn, fl n-n lunt rmns nun, n-n strns tntlun mfu nc mnn n s-n untnt lung ln fl- Fn mfrgf drumul fn. Nu fstf uur, n !n df!fnn n mnn pnftrus, dnr fn l !n mfrgf. Nu ! fncfn grn n, urncf s-nr ntmpln. Ntuncn m-n nnnfcu!ntnt, n fu nm ndurmnt. "ntn n trfnunt s m duc ncns cu mnnnn. *unr, df cf frnm fu n spntnl, n df cf nu frn tntn nncn( *f cf nu frn df fnpt nnmfnn nncn( *up u !fnncnf nu !fnnt dun ducturn. &nrf s fnf trfnz, puntf c putfm df n s !urnnm cu fn. Fn m-nu ntrfnnt cum m chfnm, dnc tnnm cf s-n ntmplnt. Fu nm ncfrcnt s rspund cu cnpul, nn cum m-n n!nt tntn, dnr nu n funcnunnt. $n fnfcnrf mncnrf prfnu s sf prnufnsc munnn n prfnu s-mn sfnf cnpul. Fn cu sngurnn c nu m-nr fn nflfs prfn nnnf. Fn n-n pnfrdut prnn ncfl uc, tfmpurnr !ucfn, l-nm nuznt pf unul dnn fn s spun. )f uc( )f sf ntmpln nncn( *f cf nu mn spunf nnmfnn nnmnc( Nnnfnflfs c nu nu n!ut df undf s tnf, c fu frnm mut. n fu nu n!fnm nncn u pusnnnlntntf, s lf put cumunncn. Nu urmnt multf urf df nftnnn, plnnf df spnnm n dnspfrnrf. Mult tnmp nu crfzut ducturnn c mncnrfn trupulun n nf!urnnrfn frnu urmrnlf uculun, cu tuntf c sf mnrnu tut tnmpul, c tuntf cflflnltf !nlurn frnu n urdnnf. FFG n FEG, pulsul, prfsnunfn sngflun, tfmpfrnturn, tutul frn n urdnnf. %tnclflf nc frnu ngntf dfnsuprn mfn n pncurnu n curpul mfu. Nu mn frn funmf, dnr mn frn nfspus df sftf. )f nu n fn dnt dunr pfntru punn lnchnd. *nr fu nu m putfnm fncf unsfr!nt. Fu n!fnm durfrn n mn frn sftf, n frnm nfrncunt, u frnc df pnnnc. "rfnunn s sf fn ntmplnt cf!n ngruzntur, ncfst lucru l tnnm. *fudnt n stnt mnmn n fnn mfn. Fu nu nm !zut-u ntuncn cnd n !fnnt. 0n uchnn fn sf nflnu lncrnmn. Fn m-n lunt n nrnflf fn, n n ncfput s m mngnf. Ncfst lucru nu l-n fcut nncnudnt. n dfudnt nm tnut, nnnntf cn fn s-mn spun cf!n. "ntn fstf murt. &f nutustrnd n nntrnt ntr-un cnrnmnuln pf cfn dfns. "u nn fust nruncnt dnn mnnn pf un tufn, cnrf n-n snl!nt !nnn n n nmurtnznt lu!nturnlf tnlf, dup ctf n spus ducturul. *nr tntn n murnt. Mnnnn s-n nncfndnnt pf luc, fl nu s-n mnn putut snl!n. &fstf cnnzfcn df mnnnn nu fust nmplncntf, n nnmfnn nu n tnut df cnnf npnrnn. *f ncffn n durnt nn df mult, pn cnd fu tf-nm gsnt. &fntru mnnf s-n prnunt u lumf. )um frn pusnnnl, cum l-nu putut lun fn pf tntl mfu. Ncum, cnd n fust n sfrnt ncns, ncum, cnd n n!ut tnmp pfntru mnnf. *up cf s-n rnsnpnt nfsngurnnn, dup cf n df!fnnt ndf!r ngruzntur, n df!fnnt dfudnt tutul gul. Nu frnm n stnrf s gndfsc, fr n schnn !rfun gfst sttfnm fu. )um!n nu trfcut znlflf, mn frn tut unn. &fntru prnmn unr nm fust nucuruns, c nu putfnm !urnn, c m lsnu n pncf. %tnrfn mfn uscnln ntrf trnstff n furnf, ntrf ncuznnf n plngfrf df snnf, n n cuntnnu sf n!rtfnu n mnntfn mfn cu!nntflf- *f cf( *f cf fu, df cf nu nltcnnf!n( *f cf fu, cnrf n!fnm n nn multf df ndurnt, df cf nu nltcnnf!n, crunn n-n mfrs nnnf pn ncum( *f cf( Frn drfpt( Frn drngustf( *f cf nu m n utn Mnchnfl( *f cf nu frn nncn, cnd fu n!fnm nttn nf!unf df fl( *up ctf!n znlf fu nu nm mnn putut s plng. 'chnn mn s-nu umflnt n m nrdfnu. Fu pur n snmplu nu mnn putfnm nnnntn. Fu nu mnn !runnm. *nc n fn putut, n fn rfnunnt nmfdnnt. Fu !runnm s plfc, frn tut unn, dunr s plfc df nncn, dfpnrtf. % m rffugnfz df dfstnnul mfu, s fug df nfcnz. Fu !runnm s fug df mnnf nsumn, df prpnstnn, cnrf s-n dfschns dfudnt n mnnf. Multf sptmnn nu trfcut df n, df ntuncn df cnd nm prsnt spntnlul. *nr nmnrul mfu s-n nccfntunt mnn dfgrnn. &fntru prnmn unr n !nnn mfn fu m-nm mnuln!nt. Fu frnm nfspus df unusnt n n!fnm tut tnmpul tfmpfrnturn rndncnt, cu tuntf c fffctflf nccndfntulun nu dnsprut df mult.) !un n!fn un tnmp mnn ndflungnt durfrn df cnp, mn-n spus ducturul. *nr cf frn mnn ru n mnn nfplcut frn - fstf grfu df f,plncnt- Mnf mn sf prfn c m prnndfn cnnf!n df cunstf n m strngfn cn n cu nntf clftn df ufl. Nnr ln ncfnstn n!fnm tut tnmpul sfntnmfntul, c nu mnn nm nfr sufncnfnt. 2fspnrntul frn unusntur, fnfcnrf rfspnrnnf mnn ndnc durfn ngruzntur. Fu putfnm s rfspnr dunr supfrfncnnl. &ulsul frn funrtf rndncnt, fu snmfnm fnfcnrf ntnnf n nnnmnn, nn df pnrc nr !rfn nnnmn s f,pludfzf.Nns nncn mcnr nu mn-nu fust !tmntf cunstflf n nccndfnt. Nncn u ulntur, fr pftf nlnnstrf, nnmnc. &f ntuncn nu m-n durut nnmnc. Ncfstf snmtumf nu nprut cu tnmpul ncns. $n ncfput nm crfzut c m-nm nflnt, dnr cu tnmpul n df!fnnt mnn lnmpfdf, c fu nu nm mnn tnut, cf sf ntmpln df fnpt- 0ntutdfnunn !fdfnm n urul mfu cum sf furnnu umnrf ntunfcntf. Nu frn u nmngnnnnf, ncfst lucru l tnnm. +fdfnm ln ffl df nnnf cn nlt dnt, dfcn nu uchnn mfn frnu df !nn. Mnchnfl, pf cnrf l-nm rugnt s m n utf, nu mn rspundfn. Fu nm df!fnnt nflnnntnt n spfrnnt n nunptfn nu mnn putfnm s m udnhnfsc nnnf. Frnm tut tnmpul unusnt, nfr!uns n ngntnt n nntfrnurul mfu. Furnf, trnstff, suprnrf, dnspfrnrf, frnc. Ncfstf sfntnmfntf prfnu s sf schnmnf n mnnf, tuntf frnu prfzfntf dfudnt. n tutun n!fnm tuntf mutn!flf cn s m nucur. )cn mnmn s-n schnmnnt ntru tutul. Munrtfn tntlun n lu!nt-u tnrf# dnr nu mntfrnnl, cum nm crfzut fu, cu tuntf c df ncum !fnfnu !rfmurn n mnn gfrlf pf plnn mntfrnnl, cn suflftftf. Fn frn ndurfrnt pfntru nrnntul fn, nu pfntru cfl cf u ntrfnnfn- Fn frn ndurfrnt dnn cnuzn unun ndf!rnt prnftfn, nu dnn cnuzn ununn, cnrf n n!ut dunr grn df fn. 0nnntf nu nm n!ut nncnudnt sfntnmfntul cldurnn n nprupnfrfn fn. n ncum frn nprunpf plnn df tnndrff n drngustf n ncfrcn s m nlnnf, cu tuntf c n fn frn plnn df nfcnz. Fn sf rugn mprfun cu mnnf n fnfcnrf dnmnnfn n sfnr# fu nu nm !zut-u pn ncum s sf rungf. Fn mn-n spus c !nsn dfsfurn cu tntn. Nmfdnnt n n trfnn nunptf dup nccndfnt n nprut fl n !nsul fn. n df fnfcnrf dnt frn fl

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mprfun cu un prnftfn, cnrf sttfn n fundnl n nu sf rfmnrcn nncnudnt. Fl n!fn u run snmpl lung n nln, pr lung, undulnt n nlund, u curfn n urul tnlnfn, mpudunnt cu tut fflul df pnftrf prfnunsf, n u fn mult prfn tnr pfntru !rstn sn. "ntn frn mnrcnt cn df unncfn, fl nrtn ct sf puntf df nurmnl. *unr cnnnnnn sn nu mnn frnu nn df strmnn, cn fn nu df!fnnt ntr-ndf!r frumun. Fl nu n !urnnt ns nncnudnt cu fn, dunr ultnmn unr. Fl n spus dunr- *u-tf ln Nnnndn 2nmn. *up ncffn n srutnt-u , n nnnfcu!ntnt-u n n mfrs n nnsfrnc, pfntru n cntn pf u urg funrtf mnrf, pf cnrf fn n-u mnn !zusf nncnudnt. 0n mn lucul pnfsfn mnnunntf, pf cnrf fl u ntfrprftn, s-n trfznt fn. *f ntuncn nu n mnn !nsnt fn cu fl. Fn nu tnn ns, cum s sf fulusfnsc df ncfl nndncnu, s mfnrg ln ncfl nrnnt, pf cnrf fn nncn nu l cunutfn. Fu frnm furnuns! Nu putfn tnt s-mn npnr n mnf cfl punn u snngur dnt n !ns( Nu nsfmnnm fu nnmnc pfntru fl( *unnnlf s-nu ndncnt ndnc n nnnmn mfn. M-n nunnt fl unrf( Fu nm hutrt, s nu-n spun mnmfn, cn ncfl nrnnt frn ducturul n nugnnul nndnnn, pf cnrf l-nm !nzntnt mprfun cu tntn. *nr cf!n m-n furnt. )u ct m mputrn!fnm mnn mult, cu ntt mnn mnrf frn furn ncffn nntfrnunr. Fn prfn s nu supurtf nncn u mputrn!nrf. )t df nnnf nm putut, n-nm f,plncnt, n n sfrnt fn n nflfs. Fn frn funrtf nucuruns. *nr fu frnm prnns n mputrn!nrn n n suprnrf n nu m putfnm flnnfrn df ncfstf sfntnmfntf. Fu nu !runnm df fnpt, n m nscundfnm n spntflf nulnn mflf. Fu nm fust suprn duznt cu nntnnnutncf, dnr ffnrn nu cunurn, pn cnd dup pntru sptmnn n trfnunt s m nturc dnn nuu ln spntnl. %pntnlul frn plnn. Fu nm fust mpnns ntr-u ncpfrf, n cnrf sf nflnu df n pntru nulnn!n. Nulnn!n df munrtf! "un n!fnu cnncfr n ultnmul stndnu n fn suffrnu funrtf mult. )u tuntf c prnmfnu sufncnfnt murfnn frnu plnnn df durfrf. Fu nu nm mnn n!ut pur n snmplu tnmp, s m gndfsc ln mnnf, dfunrfcf mn ntrgfnu tunt ntfnnn ncftn unmfnn. *uu frnu ffmfn ln !rstn mn lucnf, unn n!fn trfn cupnn, nnr cfnlnlt pntru, n ncftnn !fnnfnu nprunpf n fnfcnrf zn cn s lf !nzntfzf. *nr ct df mnrf frn dnffrfnn ntrf fn! 0n tnmp cf u fnmnlnf nprunpf c plngfn tut tnmpul n nu frn n stnrf, s rfncnunfzf nurmnl, sf cumpurtnu cfnlnln, df pnrc mnmn lur nr n!fn dunr prunlfmf cu npfndncntn n s-nr ntunrcf n scurt tnmp nnrn ncns. Fn sf rugnu mult mprfun cu mnmn lur. Fn tnnu funrtf nnnf, c mnmn lur nu-n prsfn, c mnmn lur trnn mnn dfpnrtf n mult mnn fr grn n dfct pn ncum, dfunrfcf fn n prsfn dfct curpul. &fntru prnmn unr, dup munrtfn tntlun nm ncfput s m rug nnrn nntfnsn!. 'ptnmnsmul ncfstur unmfnn, drngustfn lur, n cunstrunt un znd n urul mfu, n cnrf fu m snmfnm prutf nt. )u tuntf c n!fnu dfstulf df ndurnt, nu rfunt, s m ntruduc n cfrcul lur, n ncfrcnu s-mn dfn n mnf curn . n df fnfcnrf dnt cnd nf rugnm, dnsprfnu ncflf umnrf, n prfsnunfn dnn pnfptul mfu sf nmflnurn. Nncftul cu ncftul nm ncfput s nnunfsc cf sf ntmpln cu mnnf. Nu, fu nu nnunnm, fu tnnm! Fu m-nm mpnfdncnt n pruprnnlf mflf frnghnn, m-nm nturs cu nmrncnunf df ln *umnfzfu, m-nm cfrtnt cu Fl n nm df!fnnt u prnd uunr pfntru putfrnlf ntunfcntf, cnrf tut tnmpul sttfnu ln pnd n ntfptnu, cn nun s nf lsm pf mnn lur. "ntn trnftf, mn-n trfcut mnf prnn cnp! )um nm putut s nm fu ndffn, c fl mn-n fust rpnt! )um putfnm fu s m gndfsc, s ncfp s m cfrt cu *umnfzfu, s-$ ncuz, cu tuntf c tnnm funrtf nnnf, c Fl nu fstf n stnrf, s lf pru!ucf !rfun ru fnnnflur %nlf! tnnm cu f,nctntntf, c *umnfzfu fstf drngustfn pur, drngustf, pf cnrf nun nu putfm s nf-u nmngnnm! *rngustf, cnrf nu punrt n snnf nncn cfl mnn mnc ru! Fu mnm spfrnnt df mnnf nsumn.)t df dfs nm n!ut fu !unf s cunusc ncfnst drngustf, ctf mn-n pu!fstnt n Mnchnfl dfsprf fn, ct df sngur m-nm snmnt, dn, ct df ncrfzut nm df!fnnt fu n ncfst sfns! Fu nm fcut prugrfsf mnrn. "untf umnlnnnflf lf-nm nccfptnt cu drngustf, rfpruurn, urn n ngrfsnunnlf nm putut s lf n!nng. Fu nm df!fnnt stpnn sfntnmfntflur mflf, nm nlungnt nndul, nm df!fnnt dfmn df drngustfn lun *umnfzfu. Nm crfzut cfl punn. n ncum s-n ntmplnt ncfnstn. )um n fust pusnnnl( *n, mn-nm pnfrdut fu unrf tuntf mnnnlf( Grfutntfn grfflnn mflf m-n fcut s m cutrfmur. Frnm fu, unrf, chnnr fu nsumn( Nm nntrnt fu n ncfnst cntnstruf cu uchnn dfschnn( M-nm prfdnt fu !uluntnr cn s df!nn mnngfn df unc n rulun( 0n cnpul mfu sf n!rtfn tutul. )nnn ndncn m-n cuprnns. Fu nm !rut s fug df nttn runnf, durfnm s m nscund. )um putfnm fu s pfsc n fnn lun Mnchnfl, cf !n gndn unrf *umnfzfu dfsprf mnnf( n dfudnt nu fust dnn nuu prfzfntf! )n nntf !nfspn s-nu npustnt nsuprn mfn. Nfnumrntf umnrf m ncun urnu, m trgfnu, ncfrcnu s m sugrumf. 0n cfn mnn mnrf dnspfrnrf nm strngnt fu dup Mnchnfl, dup Nnsus. N utnn-m, fu nu mnn put!

2 +nlurnlf df cfn s-nu rftrns ncft, prnmflf rnzf df lumnn s-nu rtncnt ln mnnf. Nnrn, flurn n pumn nu crfscut dnn cfn, psrn s-nu lsnt nnrn !zutf, lsnu nfrul s sf curfmurf uur cu !ucnlf lur !fsflf. Mncn cnscnd curgfn nnrn, dumnfn pncfn. %n nncn frn Mnchfnl! Nu plnn df rfpruurn, cum fu ntfptnsfm, nu sf!fr n nmfnnntur. Fu tf nunfsc. Fu nu tnnm cf s-n rspund ln ncfnstn. Fu m runnnm nn df tnrf. Fl s-n nplfcnt ln mnnf n us, m-n lunt n nrnflf snlf n m-n strns tnndru ctrf fl. Nu tf runnn! "u nn trfcut cu succfs df cfl mnn mnrf f,nmfn nl !nfnn tnlf. Nu !rfn tu s tf nucurn( )um pun tu s tf rzn df mnnf( Fu tnu c nm funt. Fu l-nm ngnnt pf *umnfzfu. Fu l-nm crfzut n stnrf, smn fnc ru dnn ndnns. Fu l-nm rfspnns. Fu chnnr nu put s m nflfg pf mnnf nsumn, nu put s m nfrt pf mnnf nsumn, cum !un putfn fu nstffl !rfudnt s pfsc n fnn lun *umnfzfu(

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"u l-nn rfspnns pf *umnfzfu, nu Fl pf tnnf. *umnfzfu nu rfspnngf nncnudnt pf cnnf!n, nncn pf cfl mnn mnrf dnn!ul, nncn mcr pf nsun $ucnffr. "u l-nn rfspnns, Fl n fust tut tnmpul ln tnnf. Ncum ftn tu nnrn nncn, n Fl nc mnn fstf nncn. )f s-n schnmnnt nndnr n cumpnrnnf cu cfn fust mnn nnnntf( *umnfzfu nncn mcnr nu trfnunf s tf nfrtf. *rngustfn nnrt tunt fnptn df n df ln ncfput. *rngustfn fstf u cuntnnu nfrtnrf, fn nu cundnmn nncnudnt, fn nu n!nnunftf nncnudnt, fn nu rfspnngf nncnudnt. "u l-nn rfspnns pf *umnfzfu n n-nn prncnnunt prnn ncfnstn nf nsun cfn mnn mnrf suffrnn. Nu pf *umnfzfu l-nn rnnt prnn ncfst fnpt, numnn pf tnnf nsun. Nnrt-tf pf tnnf nsun, nn cum *umnfzfu n fcut-u df n df mult. %nu !rfn tu s fnn mnn drfnpt dfct *umnfzfu( +rfn tu s tf cunsndfrn dfnsuprn $un( n tu ftn u fptur n lun *umnfzfu. *nc Fl n nfrtnt df mult ncfnst fptur, cum !rfn tu s ustnfncn ntuncn mnnn tn fn df tnnf( Fnfcnrf cdfrf df ln *umnfzfu nf dunfnz numnn nuu nnnf. *umnfzfu fstf nfntncnnnl. $umnnn $un n-u puntf ptrundf nncn u umnr, cflfn mnn nnltf nunnrn nu-n fstf pusnnnl, s fnf rnnt df ru. &fntru ncfst lucru trfnunn *umnfzfu mnn ntn s nns dnn %nnf nsun, trfnunn s-n crffzf u nndfntntntf prnn Nnsus 7rnstus, cnrf fstf n stnrf, s snmt rul, s-l punt pfrcfpf n s fnf n rflnnf cu fl. )t df sfrnus n lunt Fl ncfnst snrcnn, ncfst lucru l-n du!fdnt Fl cu !nnn %n pmntfnsc. Fl n suffrnt pfntru tut rul, n prnmnt ncfnstn trupfsc n suflftfsc sprf snmnrf. Fl s-n dus pnn ln grnnnn nnsulut, n dnt nc n cflf dnn urm. n pfntru tnnf, n pfntru fnptul, c tu l-nn rfspnns. *nr suffrnnn $un n cumpfnsnt df n ncfnstn. Fl pltnsf df n pfntru ncfst lucru. +nnn fstf df n nchntnt, tu gsftn numnn drngustf dup rfntunrcfrfn tn. "u nsun n-nn fn putut nncnudnt nchntn !nnn. "u tucmnn nn nflnt ncfnstn. )ununtfrfn !nnfn tnlf nu n-n fulusnt ln nnmnc, nncn cnnn tn. &utfrnlf nfgrf tf-nu mprfsurnt numnn nc tut mnn mult. *f-nnnn cnd nn dfclnrnt n dfplnnn smfrfnnf nfn uturnrfn tn n l-nn cfrut pf Nnsus dup n utur, df -nnnn ntuncn n fust nlturnt !rn n, df-nnnn ntuncn n-nn dnt tu pusnnnlntntfn, s tf n utf, s tf nglunfzf n pf tnnf n mnrfn $un frtf. *f ncffn fstf smfrfnnn nn df nmpurtnnt. %mfrfnnn rfcununtf pruprnn lnps df putfrf, fn nu susnnf cuntnnuu slu nrnlf fn prfsupusf, fn rfnun ln tuntf n unnnf prnn ncfnstn tuntf. %mfrfnnn fstf nnlftul df nntrnrf n curtul lun *umnfzfu, cnrf sf nrcunftf pfstf tun, cnrf !ur s sf ncrfnd n Fl. Nncn u furtun nu !n rupf !rfudnt ncfnstn. )nnf fstf df prfrf, c puntf s cunstrunnsc un curt pruprnu prnn pruprnnlf snlf rugcnunn n mfrntf, !n fn n!nt mnn nnnf cfl mnn trznu df ctrf u furtun putfrnnc, cnd curtul su !n fn pur n snmplu !nturnt nnnpudn. Nngmfnrf fstf numflf mnnmufn, cnrf n muc mfrfu dnn nuu pf unmfnn, cnrf n ndfnmn mfrfu nnrn s cunstrunnsc un curt pruprnu. Nu n-n rfunt nc nnmnun! Nu-n f rfpruurn, c tu nn czut n cnpcnnn rulun. &mntul fstf lcnul df sllunrf nl lun %ntnn. %ntnn fstf punctul cfntrnl nl pmntulun. *uhul su sufl pfstf tuntf, n uscnlnnlur snlf nu sf puntf nnmfnn sustrngf pf pmnt. &rnn cdfrfn lur df ln *umnfzfu, .pcntul strmufsc/, nu df!fnnt unmfnnn df un snngur cugft cu %ntnn. Fn n s-nu supus lun df nun !unf, ntruct s-nu dfprtnt df *umnfzfu. Nstffl n df!fnnt %ntnn stpnnturul pmntulun, n nnmfnn nu n putut scpn df fl. %ntnn sf numfn %ntnnn nnnntf df cdfrfn lun, ncfnstn nsfnmn pulul upus. Fl n fust prnmul n cfl mnn mnrf ngfr, crfnt df *umnfzfu cn pul upus pfntru %nnf, cn pulul upus, cnrf trfnunn s-n nduc nnrn nnpun drngustfn pf cnrf n trnmns-u n nfnr. Fl, n mprfun cu fl ntrfngn crfnnf, flf frnu prnctnc uglnndn, n cnrf *umnfzfu sf putfn !fdfn pf %nnf nsun. &fntru c ln cf fulusftf drngustfn, dnc nu fstf nnmfnn, cnrf fstf dnspus, s-u prnmfnsc( *nc nu fstf nnmfnn, cnrf trnnsfurm ncfnst drngustf n nnnmn lun n u trnmntf nnrn nnpun( Fstf f,nct cn ln rndnr. 'ndflf df rndnr sunt f,pfdnntf, sf lu!fsc df un unnfct n sunt df ncfstn nnrn nruncntf nnpun ln stnnn df fmnsnf. $n cf nr fulusn stnnn df fmnsnf, dnc n-nr f,nstn unnfctf, cnrf nr putfn nruncn undflf df rndnr nnpun( %nu cf fncf un uctur df tfnns df mns snngur( Fl lu!ftf mnngfn u dnt - n ncfstn nu mnn !nnf nncnudnt nnrn nnpun. )u tnmpul fl nncn mcnr nu mnn tnf, cum n nrtnt mnngfn, dn, dnc fl n lu!nt-u ntr-ndf!r. Nn n sf ntmpl n lun *umnfzfu. Fl nrf nf!unf df fptur, pfntru n prnmn drngustfn nnrn nnpun, pf cnrf u trnmntf n nfnr, dn, pfntru n %f putfn ntr-ndf!r df-nnnn rfcununtf, cn fnnnd drngustf. Nncn nu puntf Fl ns s fulusfnsc runun. &fntru c drngustfn puntf un runut punn s-u fulusfnsc. *nc fu n nrnt unun runut u nmngnnf n l ntrfn, dnc n plncf ncfnstn, ntuncn fl rspundf cu *n snu Nu, dfpnndf df fnptul, cum n fust fl prugrnmnt. Fl dunr nu nrf nncn u prfrf pruprnf, fl puntf rfdn numnn cffn, cf n-n fust ncndrnt n prugrnmnrfn lun. Nndnr, cnrf nr fn n ncfst cnz prugrnmnturul( *n, *umnfzfu nsun! 0n ncfnst cnz n unnnut Fl, dfcn, rspunsurnlf, pf cnrf Fl nsun lf-n pus n fpturnlf %nlf. )f nr putfn Fl, nndnr, ncfpf cu ncfnstn( Nu, runun nu n-nr fn fulusnt ln nnmnc. &fntru drngustf fstf ndfc!nt numnn u fnnn lnnfr, cnrf sf puntf dfcndf pf dfplnn lnnfr. &fntru c df-nnnn prnn dfcndfrfn sn cuntnfnt pfntru *umnfzfu nducf fn drngustfn nnpun, cnrf u ncun unr mfrfu. *umnfzfu trfnunn dfcn s nprnnd lumnnn n lumf, pfntru n putfn !fdfn. $umnnn fstf crfnnn, n ncfln, cnrf n ndus-u - ncfln n fust %ntnn! Fl sf n numftf ntr-ndf!r $ucnffr A&urttur df lumnnB. Fl n fust ncfln, cnrf n dus lumnnn df ln *umnfzfu n lumf n n fcut prnn ncfnstn df-nnnn crfnnn pusnnnl. Fl n fust nzfstrnt cu mnrf putfrf df ctrf *umnfzfu pfntru ncfnst fnpt, pfntru c un slnnug nr fn putut ndfplnnn ntr-ndf!r cu grfu ncfnst snrcnn. )rfnnn n fust ns unn curnt duhu!nncfnsc. Nu f,nstn nncn u mntfrnf, nncn un pmnt, nncn stflf. "utul cf frn, frn duh. $n cnrf fnpt, prfcum tnn tu ntr-ndf!r df n, duhul n mntfrnn nu sunt fsfnnnl dnffrntf. *uhul curnt fstf fnfrgnf cu u funrtf curnt n nnlt frfc!fn df uscnlnnf, n tnmp cf mntfrnf fstf .fnfrgnf cumprnmnt/, dfcn u frfc!fn df uscnlnnf nfcurnt n uns. Nndnr, n mfrs tutul nnnf un tnmp ndflungnt, pn cf $ucnffr n df!fnnt ngmfnt. +unnn lun lnnfr n putfrfn sn mnrf nu df!fnnt pfntru fl u fntnlntntf. Fl !runn s fnf cfl mnn mnrf, cfl dnntn. Fl s-n snmnt dfstul df putfrnnc, pfntru n sf luptn cu *umnfzfu n n ctngnt u pnrtf dnn ngfrn df pnrtfn lun. )nd plnnul fusfsf ntuncn gndnt, n n fust rznunul df n ln sfrnt. Nu n fust nncn un .rznun nl stflflur/ cu lncnn n tunurn. *uhul nu nrf nf!unf df unfltf. &rnn putfrf df !unn curnt fstf pusnnnl, s-n nluchfzn pf nlnn, s lf nfn fnfrgnn rfspfctn! s lf-u tnn. Ncfst

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prucfdfu fstf df nltffl n pf pmnt dfs prnctncnt. %f spunf d. f,. - Ncfln m fpunzfnz pf dfplnn, n sf rfffr cu ncfnstn nncuntnfnt ln ncfst prucfdfu. ' fnpt fstf cunsndfrnt ntuncn cn fnnnd s!rnt, cnd fn fstf n ntrfgnmf gndnt, cnd n duh sf nfl plnnul cumplft n nu mnn f,nst nncn u rfzfr! ln ndfplnnnrfn lun. Ncfst lucru fstf n pfntru pmnt !nlnnnl! Nndnr, cu *umnfzfu sf lns ru df luptnt. 0n mnnmn df sfcund n fust gntn luptn. $ucnffr n ngfrnn sn nu fust nruncnn n ndnc, cum sf spunf nn df frumus. Mnn curfct nr fn- Fn nu fust trnn n ndnc. *f pruprnn lur fnpt! *umnfzfu n-n pfdfpsnt nc nncnudnt pf nnmfnn n nncn nu !n fncf ncfnstn cu sngurnn nncnudnt. Fl nu fstf n stnrf pfntru nn cf!n. *rngustfn curnt n cfn mnn nnlt nunnrf nu puntf pfdfpsn, n m dunrf funrtf tnrf, s fnu nf!unt s nud mfrfu, cf nnnt nrutnl fstf *umnfzfu, cnrf n pfdfpsftf pf cupnnn %n ln fnfcnrf ucnznf numnn pusnnnl n n nrunc ln sfrnt pf cfn mnn muln n fucul !fnnc. n ln u nsfmfnfn fnnn n spunfn !un drng "nt. Fu l-n numn mnn dfgrnn un tnrnn nsftnt df sngf. *nr *umnfzfu nu fstf nn. Fl nu pfdfpsftf nncnudnt! Fl fstf numnn drngustf n nfrtnrf. *uhul sf pfdfpsftf mult mnn mult pf snnf nsun. Fnfcnrf fnpt cunnnf nutumntnc df n urmnrfn n snnf. Fstf nn, cn n cum dnc cnd n mn ulfsc gfnunchnul. Nncn un um nurmnl n-nr !fnn pf ndffn s spun, ncfnstn fstf pfdfnpsn pfntru cdfrfn pf us. Nu, fstf pur n snmplu urmnrfn df ln ncfnstn. n dnc cnd mnn tnrf, ntuncn mn lu,fz tucmnn pncnurul# snu mnn tnrf, ntuncn fstf fl tucmnn rupt. "untf sunt urmrn nfnprntf nlf cdfrnn, fr cn nltcnnf!n s-mn rndunnsc .pfdfnpsn/. Nn stnu lucrurnlf n ln duh. )dfrfn df ln *umnfzfu fstf u grffnl nn df nsfmnnt, fn fncf duhul s sf cufundf ntt df ndnc, c prnn ncfnstn fnfrgnn curnt n duhulun fstf nn df murdrnt n cumprnmnt, c fl cndf dnntr-u stnrf curnt duhu!nncfnsc ntr-u stnrf dn!nznnnl mntfrnnl, cnrf, cn n ln cdfrfn pf us, sf urnfntfnz dup grn!ntntfn grfflnn. Nutumntnc! Numnn prnn ncffn c fnfrgnn fstf murdrnt prnn gndurn. Nn n fust n ln .cdfrfn ngfrnlur/. *umnfzfu n trfnunt dunr .s-n rndncf mnn/, pfntru n cuntrncnrn ntncul duhu!nncfsc. "untf cflflnltf s-nu ntmplnt df ln snnf. $ucnffr n ngfrnn lun n-nu czut nncn fn nmfdnnt n .nnd/, fn .nu nlunfcnt mnn ntn numnn punn n us/. n cn n !un unmfnnn, tut nn nu nntfrprftnt n fn ncfnst cdfrf cn fnnnd u pfdfnps. Fn nu df!fnnt ncpnnn n furnun n nu ncfput, s-$ urnsc pf *umnfzfu, cnrf n-n lu!nt prftnns nn df tnrf. )ffn cf nsfnmn ns urn, n-nm f,plncnt ntr-ndf!r df n. 'rn fstf cfn mnn uns uscnlnnf. )u ct mnn mnrf n df!fnnt urn, cu ntt mnn ndnc s-nu cufundnt duhurnlf n stnrfn lur df uscnlnnf, cu ntt mnn mntfrnnln nu df!fnnt flf. N fust un ndf!rnt .cfrc !ncnus/. )u ct mnn mult ur n!fnu flf, cu ntt mnn mult sf cufundnu, n cu ct mnn ndnc sf cufundnu flf, cu ntt mnn mult l urnu pf *umnfzfu pfntru ncfnst .pfdfnps/. Nndnr, ln %ntnn n fust grffnln cfn mnn mnrf. Fl n fust cfl mnn nprunpf df *umnfzfu. Fl n fust cpftfnnn. Fnnnn lun sf nfl prnn ncfnstn nstzn n cfn mnn uns stnrf df uscnlnnf, cnrf f,nst ntr-ndf!r, n, nstffl, fstf fl cfn mnn cumprnmnt mntfrnf, nfclnntnt cn u pnntr. Fl n df!fnnt punctul cfntrnl mntfrnnl nl pmntulun! *nr *umnfzfu nu n-n lunt putfrfn. *umnfzfu nu n-n lunt nc nnmnun cf!n !rfudnt! *f ncffn pru!nnf fnptul, c $ucnffr fstf nzfstrnt cu u nsfmfnfn putfrf. *umnfzfu n spus u dnt- *nc nm fcut fu !rfudnt u grffnl, ntuncn ncffn, c l-nm crfnt pf $ucnffr prfn dfs!rnt. Ncfnstn nsfnmn ns- Fl nu-n fncf nncn mcnr lun $ucnffr !rfun rfpru! &un tu nflfgf dnmfnsnunfn ncfstfn prupuznnn( Nncn mcnr ncfpturul n tut rul nu fstf cundnmnnt df *umnfzfu. *rngustfn pur n snmplu nu puntf pf nnmfnn s-l cundnmnf! Ncfnstn nu nrf nnmnc dfn fncf cu fnptul, c *umnfzfu n-nr fn ntutputfrnnc. *umnfzfu fstf ntr-ndf!r ntutputfrnnc. *nr ntutputfrnncnn nu puntf tutul, fn nu puntf prucfdn mputrn!n fn nnn! *rngustfn nu puntf ur, nfrtnrfn nu puntf pfdfpsn, nncn chnnr ln tunt .ntutputfrnncnn/. *nc nr n!n unmfnnn ncfnstn tutun n sfrnt u dnt n prufunznmf. *umnfzfu tnf c n $ucnffr sf !n ntunrcf ntr-u zn nnrn ln Fl, n Fl l !n ntmpnnn cu nrnflf dfschnsf. $ucnffr fstf nnumf fnul pnfrdut, dfsprf cnrf Nnsus spunf n plndn $un, n pf cnrf "ntl l !n prnmn cu tunt cnnstfn dup rfntunrcfrfn sn. Numnn c ncfnstn !n durn cu sngurnn nc .!fnncnn/, dnr *umnfzfu nu gndftf n urf n znlf. Fl gndftf n .durntf df tnmp df crfnnf/, pf cnrf nun nu nn lf putfm nchnpun. Mumfntnn, n urncf cnz, fstf %ntnn punctul dnn cfntru nl pmntulun n stpnnturul pmntulun. Nnmfnn nu sf puntf sustrngf df ln uscnlnnnlf snlf. n dnn ncfnst cnuz fstf fnptul, c nu pun fn nfutru pf pmnt. )nnf fstf nfutru pf pmnt, .dfschns lumfsc/, cum sf spunf nn df frumus, fstf pus prnn ncfnstn nutumntnc sun sffrn df nnflufnn n lun %ntnn. Fstf f,nct nn, cn n cum tu tf-nn ducf ntr-un turfnt df flu!nu sprf u cnscnd. Nncn n ncfst cnz tu nu pun rmnf nfutru, cn tu trfnunf s !slftn mputrn! cu tunt furn, cn s n ungn ln mnlul prutfctur n s nu fnn trns df cnscnd n ndnc. )nnf rmnf nfutru, fstf cuprnns df uscnlnnnlf lun %ntnn n fstf u unfnlt n u !nctnm supus n urfn snlf mputrn!n lun *umnfzfu. "u nsun nn trfcut prnn ncfnstn . Ntuncn cnd dup munrtfn tntlun tu nn ncftnt s tf urnfntfzn nctn! sprf *umnfzfu n cu nntfnnf s trnftn cuntnfnt drngustfn n s-$ nunftn pf *umnfzfu, ntuncn nn nntrnt tu nutumntnc n !rtf ul lun %ntnn, cnrf tf ntncnsf cu dunnnlf snlf n tf furnsf nstffl df ln cunfctnrfn tn cu *umnfzfu. "u nn df!fnnt u mnngf df uc nl lun %ntnn, nu pfntru c tf-nn pus nctn! n cuntnfnt df pnrtfn lun - dnc nn fn fcut tu ncfnstn, nu n-nr fn rfunt ntunrcfrfn tn nncn pf dfpnrtf nn df uur - , cn numnn prnn ncffn, c nn ncftnt s-l nunftn pf *umnfzfu ntr-un mud nctn!. Nfutrnlntntf nr putfn fn prunnnnl pf stflf, pf pmnt, fn nu f,nst. )nnf nu fstf pfntru *umnfzfu, fstf mputrn!n $un. Nncn nu fstf pfntru ncfnstn ndfn uns, s tf nn df un *umnfzfu nfpfrsunnl, cnrf st undf!n n ndncurnlf unn!frsulun n n crfnt tuntf dnn ncfputurn n tf pumfnftn c nc Fl nsun n pus rul n nnnflf n lumf, cn unmfnnn s sf punt dfcndf lnnfrn pfntru unn snu cfnlnlt! 'nnn mfrg chnnr nn df dfpnrtf df n spunf, c fnnnn *umnfzfu nr cunnnf df n tut nnnflf n rul, *umnfzfu nf-nr fn numnn prnn ncffn supfrnur, c nnnflf nr fn nnut ln Fl supfrnurntntfn. %nu fn l cunsndfr pf *umnfzfu, cn fnnnd .f,pluznn dnn ncfputurn/, prnn cnrf ntuncn n dfcursul tnmpulun snu furmnt tuntf. Mnlnnrdf df mutnnn Aschnmnrn nlf gfnflur, cnrf slu fsc cn mudfl pfntru cflulB nr fn nfcfsnrf, pfntru n n ungf df ln mntfrnn fr !nn ln lumfn plnntflur n ln lumfn snmpl n nnnmnlflur, nltf mnlnnrdf pfntru

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n n ungf df ln lumfn nnnmnlflur snmpl ln ncfn mnn nnlt n nnnmnlflur n nfnumrntf mnlnnrdf, pfntru n n ungf df ln cfl mnn f!ulunt nnnmnl ln um. Nntr-ndf!r sunt mutnnn cunstntf pfrmnnfnt. *nn u sut sunt nuuzfcnnnuu fr sfns snu duntunrf n duc urn ln munrtf - cnncfrul d. F,. fstf chnnr unn dnntrf ncfstfn - , snu flf sunt nnrn suspfndntf df ctrf nntur. 'nn dnntr-u sut fstf nngfnnuns n sfr!ftf cfl mnn ndfsfn ln ndnptnrfn ln un mfdnu ncun urtur schnmnnt. Nln dnnn df f,fmplu ln schnmnnrfn unncfnulun lur nnturnl, snu pncnunrf mnn lungn n mnn nun, dnc fstf nfcfsnr, snu u nlnn mnn gruns, ntuncn cnd clnmn sf schnmn. Nncn u snngur schnmnnrf nu s-n ntmplnt ln !un n ultnmnn mnn df nnn, cnrf fr fn prfsupus dunr trfcfrfn df ln u fnz ln cfnlnlt. Nncn cfn mnn mnc schnmnnrf n ncfst dumfnnu nu sf puntf du!fdn. *nr n nnnn dnn-nnnntf, s fnn f,nstnt, unrf, mnlnnrdf df schnmnrn ffncnfntf( Ncfnst tfurnf sf nnzfnz n mnrf pnrtf pf dfscupfrnrnlf unsflur prf nsturncf, cnrf df unncfn dnspnr fr prfn mnrf glgnf n .nsturnn pu!fstnt df lumfn mult untnt/, cnd sf dfscupfr fnlsul, snu df f,fmplu cnd dnntflf snngur, dnn cnrf sf rfcunstrunftf un ntrfg schflft umnn cu tuntf unsflf n nndncnnlf snlf, n ln sfrnt sf du!fdftf c n fust tutun un dnntf df purc A!B! )unstrucnn rnhntnc n dffurmnt n nfnndfrtnlfrulun - unnn pruffsurn nu unsfr!nt cu drfpt - trfnunf s nn cn u du!nd ffrm pfntru pru!fnnfnn umulun cnrf sf trngf dnn mnnmu, nnr ncfst fnpt fstf u .cunncndfn/. Ncfnst du!nd nr trfnun s-$ fnc dnspfnsnnnl pf *umnfzfu, ccn dnc tutul s-n ntmplnt prnn .cunncndfnn/ mutnlrnn, ntuncn sf puntf s rfnunm ln Fl. n ncfnst tfurnf mnn fstf n nstzn !nlnnnl, cu tuntf c *nrDnn, nn!fntnturul fn, n n!ut dunnn ln sfrntul !nfnn snlf. Nnmnc, nncn cfl mnn mnc gruntf nu n fust nfnnnnt dnn grffnl! "unt crfnnn mntfrnnl fstf u cupnf fndfl n spnrntunlulun. Fn fstf gndnt pn n nmnunt n fulusftf dunr pfntru cnptul fnnnl n mnrf, dfunrfcf tutul cf n fust crfnt trfnunf s n ung nnpun ln "ntl. *nc nu mnn fstf nf!unf df u spfcnf, ntuncn ncfnstn dnspnrf# ccn nltffl nr mpnfdncn dunr. *nr dnc fstf nf!unf df u spfcnf nuu, ntuncn ncfnstn sf dfz!ult cunfurm plnnulun. *nr nncnudnt dnn grffnl! )nnf nu-$ mnn !fdf pf *umnfzfu cn u pfrsunn, cnnf nu mnn fstf n stnrf, s-$ rfcununsc cn pf un "nt nunntur, ncfln n pnfrdut df n pf umtntf. )cn cum n putfn fu s nunfsc u putfrf df !fcn, . un )f!n nfcunuscut/, df cnrf tnu ntr-ndf!r, c m-n crfnt cn n tut cf f,nst, cnrf ns ncfpf s plnfnsc tutul, fr mnl, fr n utur% sf untf umul, cum nfsf dnn ncfnst mnzfrnf, fl snngur n prncnnunt ncfnstn! Ncfstn nu mnn fstf un *umnfzfu, cnrf puntf fn nunnt! )fl mult un nnnmnl df !fcn, df cnrf trfnunf s tf ffrftn! $n un nstffl df *umnfzfu n fn df!fnnt df n df mult tnmp un drnc. "untf ncfstf tfzf lf-n mprtnnt %ntnnn n lumf, ccn cu ct mnn dfpnrtf fstf *umnfzfu dnn cuntnnnn umulun, cu ntt mnn grfn df!nnf lfgturn cu Fl n cu ntt mnn mnrf putfrfn lun %ntnnn. F,nct nn n rfunt fl, s nlungf dnn cuntnnnn unur unmfnn ngfrnn. )um put fu s cfr cun!n n uturul, df cnrf fu crfd, c fl nncn nu f,nst( Ncfnstn fstf ntr-ndf!r un .lucru dnn!ulfsc/. n mnrfn lu!ntur n-n rfunt df nnnn n ultnmnn nnn, ntuncn cnd n rfunt s sf dfclnrf nnf,nstfnt!&fntru ncfnst upfr df nrt mfrnt fl df fnpt tunt rfcununtfrfn. )um m put spfrnn fu df cnnf!n snu cum m put ffrn, df cnrf crfd, c df fnpt nu f,nst( *nc nu mnn f,nst dnn!ulul, nu mnn trfnunf s-mn fnf frnc df fl, snu nu( Fu nu trfnunf s m ffrfsc! Fu put s rfnun n ln furn mrfn n lun *umnfzfu. )cn un dnn!ul, cnrf !rfn s m ndfprtfzf df fl, nu f,nst df fnpt! Ncfst lucru fstf ntr-ndf!r dur! n umfnnrfn crfdf cu cuntnnnn mpcnt. *nc nn putfn !fdfn, cum sf nucur %ntnnn, cum n nntf uc df ncftn dunntucn, !un nn rfnunn ln tuntf nnt ucurnlf. Nu! *nn!ulul fstf nn df rfnl cn tu n fu. *fcn nu tf chnunn mnn dfpnrtf, c tf-nn lsnt prnns n cnpcnnn sn. 'n pns grfnt pun fncf pf drumul tu sprf *umnfzfu, tu nn !unf n s cnzn, dnr nu nn !unf s rmn pf us! )fn mnn muln sfnnn nu nu fust unmfnn mnn nnln. )hnnr n fn nu fcut un pns grfnt. *nr fn s-nu rndncnt tut tnmpul dnn nuu. 'mnln n plnnn df drngustf. Nnmfnn nu sf puntf sustrngf pf pmnt df nnflufnn lun %ntnnn. %ntnnn l-n nspntnt dunr n pf Nnsus 7rnstus. Fl nu n rfunt, dnr nu l-nr fn nspntnt, dnc nu nr fn n!ut nncn u nns. Nncn %ntnnn nu fncf !rfun pns nfgndnt. Ncfnstn n fust mnrfn fnpt n lun *umnfzfu , c nu n !fnnt cn un *umnfzfu pf pmnt, cn cn un ndf!rnt um. F,nst dunr punnn cnrf sunt n stnrf, s nflfng dnmfnsnunfn rfnl n ncfstfn fnptf. %f spunf nn- Nnsus 7rnstus nr fn putut pnfrdf! )n fnfcnrf um nr fn putut s nccfptf nspntflf %ntnnfn# ntuncn nu n-nr fn rfzul!nt mnsnunfn, n %ntnnn nr fn fust ctngturul! )f nr fn nsfmnnt ncfst lucru, nu putfn s ! mngnnnn! N fust un rnsc fnurm df mnrf, cnrf l-n nccfptnt Nnsus. Nnsus n rnscnt tutul - n n ctngnt tutul. Fl n rfunt! Fl n df!fnnt pudul ntrf "ntl n unmfnn. Fl putfn nfnrmn cu drfptntf- Fu sunt cnlfn! *umnfzfu nsun n dnt chfnn unmfnnnlur pfntru mprnn %n. *nr nu cu putfrfn ntutputfrnnc n *umnfzfntnn $un. Nu, umnl n-n urmnt lfgnlf pruprnn, s-n zntut cn um prnn nurunnnn dfns df rutntf sntnnnc, prnn mnncnun, nflcnunf n nspntf n prnn ncfnstn n putut Fl s snmt ntrfg rfpfrturnul n rulun pn ln nrutnlntntfn f,tfrnunr. Nn cum n fust df nfclnntnt, n putut s nn chfnlf dnn mnn %ntnnfn. Fnfcnrf um nrf n mnnnlf snlf chfnlf pfntru mprnn lun *umnfzfu. *nr drumul pn nculu, trfnunf s-l mfnrg fnfcnrf snngur! Fstf ncflnn drum, pf cnrf n mfrs n Nnsus 7rnstus- prnn nurunnnn rutnn sntnnncf, prnn nflcnunn, mnncnun n nspntf. Nncn ununn, cnrf !rfn s ctngf cfl mnn nnlt truffu, nu fstf scutnt df ncfstfn. &nn grfnn n grffln - sunt nurmnlf pf ncfst drum, n nnmfnn nu !n fncf !rfun rfpru. *umnfzfu tnf ncfstf grfutn, Fl nsun lf-n trnt! Fl nu snmtf nncnudnt furnf snu suprnrf. 2spunsurnlf %nlf sunt mnln, nflfgfrfn n rndnrfn. Nnsus fstf cnpnnnl s snmt, s suffrf mprfun cu tnnf, dnr nncnudnt nu !n udfcn. *rngustfn %n fstf mnlustn!nrfn f,nct ntt df nfmrgnnnt cum fstf Fl nsun. Fn mulumnt c nn n!ut !unf s trnftn ncfnst f,pfrnfn. "u !fn n!fn pf !nntur mnn mult grn n nu tf !fn schnmnn prfn uur. n tu !fn ncfrcn s nu mnn fn nn df ncrfzut n !fn ncfrcn s df!nn ct mnn umnl. *rngustfn n umnlnnn tf !ur scutn pf !nntur df nstffl df f,pfrnfnf. *umnfzfu nu tf-n cundus sprf nspnt, dnr Fl n ngdunt tuntf ncfstfn n n-n dnt nnsn s tf gndftn ln tnmp, nnnntf cn s df!n prfn sngur df tnnf, c s nu mnn fn putut !fdfn ntrfg ndf!rul.

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N urmnt u tcfrf ndflungnt. Fu mn-m rugnt n n-nm mulumnt lun *umnfzfu, c m-n dfsclcnt nf!tmnt, n c nm n!ut !unf s n! nttfn lucrurn. )nnf crfzn tu c tf-n snl!nt, dnn mnrnnrfn tn cu $ucnffr( Mnchnfl n ntrfrupt !nsflf mflf. *n - *umnfzfu, nnnfnflfs! Ndf!rnt, *umnfzfu fstf ncfputul, Fl fstf rspunztur pfntru tutul n pfstf tuntf. *nr Fl nu nfptunftf nncnudnt dnrfct pf pmnt. Fl n nfnnnnt n putfrfn %n mnrf lfgn cnrf !ur fn tut tnmpul n n ntrfgnmf !nlnnnlf, n pf cnrf nncn Fl nu lf ngnur. &rnn ncfnstn nu puntf un duh - dfcn n *umnfzfu - s nfptunnsc cf!n dnrfct n mntfrnf. *umnfzfu fstf dfntnstul, dnr cn s punt s scunt u msfn fstf nf!unf df un clftf, df u unfnlt. n cu tuntf c nu n-nr trfcf nnmnun prnn cnp, s n mulumfnsc clftflun, c n-n trns ntt df f,trnurdnnnr msfnun, fstf tutun nfcfsnr, ccn nncn cfl mnn nun dfntnst nu puntf fncf nnmnc fr fl. Nn nrf nf!unf n *umnfzfu df u unfnlt, ntuncn cnd Fl !rfn s nfptunnsc cf!n pf pmnt. 2ugcnunfn n mfdntnnn dfschnd drumul pfntru ncfnstn. Ntuncn nn fust tu( Nu! Mnchnfl n rs. n fu sunt un duh pur, n nu put fncf nnmnc dnrfct pf pmnt. Fu put s-n strfcur gndurn n put s tf cunduc n lnnntf pf drmul tu n prnn ncfnstn s tf mnn ndrfpt. Fu sunt n stnrf, s tf scutfsc df rflf, dnc tu trnftn pf ncffnn lungnmf cn mnnf n dnc m rugn. *nr n ncfnst sntunnf nu nn !rut s tnn nnmnc df mnnf. Nu, n fust Nnnndn 2nmn, cnrf tf-n flnnfrnt. "u n nducn nmnntf- Mnmn tn l-n !nsnt, n dunr cu mnrf ffurt n-nn pu!fstnt tu df fl. Ncfln, cnrf tf-n mpnns sprf ncfnstn, nm fust fu. *fcn, mnmn tn n fust ln Nnnndn n n-n pu!fstnt df stnrfn tn. Nnnndn s-n ucupnt df ndnt df tnnf. Fl n prfgtnt spnrntunl drumul, n rfunt, cn tu s n ungn n spntnl lng ncfn unmfnn, cnrf n-nu dfschns n sfrnt uchnn. Fl tf-n prutf nt df putfrnlf rflf, lf-n nnut dfpnrtf df tnnf. n fl tf-n prfdnt pf mnnnlf mflf, ntuncn cnd tu nn strngnt ln cfn mnn mnrf nnnnghnf dup mnnf. Nnr n urmnt u pnuz lung, cnrf mn-n fulusnt, s rfcfpnunfz cu snmul, dfunrfcf crfnfrul mfu funrtf mnc nu frn n stnrf. Nun sttfnm lng un mnc lnc, nruntflf cntnu, lnnflulflf znurnu n urul mfu, u !npfr sf trn lng mnnf prnn nnrn. 'rmnd un nmpuls, nm mngnnt-u. Fn mn-n mulumnt n s-n pus lng mnnf. Frn mnnunnt. ' nrunsc srfn, n pfntru prnmn unr nm unsf!nt- tuntf nnnmnlflf trnnu mprfun n lnnntf! Nncn unul nu sf dfrnn n pf nltul, nu sf mncnu rfcnpruc. )um sf hrnfsc ncfstf nnnmnlf( l-nm ntrfnnt fu pf Mnchnfl. Flf nu nu nf!unf df hrnn, Nncn nun nu n!fm nf!unf df hrnn. Nun trnm dnn ncfn lumnn n dnn putfrfn lun *umnfzfu, cnrf nf ncun unr pfrmnnfnt. )u tuntf ncfstfn mnn mncm n nun dnn cnd n cnd ctf cf!n. *f unncfn mncm fructf, cnrf sunt cultn!ntf n grdnnn spfcnnl nmfnn ntf. Flf ns nu nu rulul s nf ntrfnsc trupul. Nun mncm mprfun dnn cnuzn cumpnnnfn, dfunrfcf stm cu tunn mprfun. )hnnr n nnnmnlflf mnn mnnc dnn cnd n cnd fructf. % umunrf, cn s suprn!nfunnsc, ncfst lucru f,nst dunr dfpnrtf df *umnfzfu n nu sf mnn ntmpl ln fnnnf mnn nnltf. &fntru prnm unr, df mult tnmp ncuncf, nm fust fu dnn nuu ffrncnt. Fu nm stnt ct mnn nprunpf df nsunturul mfu n nm ndurmnt ndnc, cundus df sunftflf mnnunntf nlf psrnlur n df zgumutul prnftfnus nl !npfrfn. *fudnt n nprut tntn n fnn mfn. Fu nu nm putut s !urnfnsc df nttn nucurnf, lncrnmn curgfnu pfstf chnpul mfu, ntuncn cnd fu m-nm nflnt n nrnflf snlf. "u prustu mnc! )um nn putut dunr s crfzn u clnp, c fu tf-nm prsnt( Fu nu tf !un prsn nncnudnt, nttn tnmp ct !n durn !fnncnn. Fu mn-nm tfrmnnnt lucrul pf pmnt. Fu nm dnt drumul ln multf ln!nnf mncn. &f ntuncn nu prfn nm snmnt mult dnn ncfstfn. Fu frnm dfsfurn trnst n dnspfrnt, m-nm pus pf mnnf nsumn sun sfmnul ntrfnrnn. *nr df nncn put funrtf nnnf s lf !d dfz!ultnrfn. 'nflf nu df!fnnt ln!nnf ndf!rntf, nltflf mnn nu nf!unf df tnmp. Nltflf puntf nu nf!unf df funrtf mult tnmp. *nr nncn mfrgf nltffl tnmpul, n nfrndnrf f,nst dunr pf pmnt. Fu mn-nm tfrmnnnt lucrul pf pmnt. Fu nm sfmnnt rsndul mfu, s strupfsc n s lf rrfsc put df nncn mult mnn nnnf. Fu sunt nucurus n mulumnt, c "ntl nustru m-n lunt nnpun. Fu .lucrfz/ nncn mnn mult dfct nnnntf pf pmnt. *nr lucrul nncn nu fstf unusntur. % nn !unf s lucrfzn nncn fstf u nucurnf mnrf. Nncn nu fstf nnmfnn nf!unt cn s nnn succfs. Nncn dumnn pncfn n ffrncnrfn, nn cum nu s-nr putfn msurn ncfstf lucrurn pf pmnt. Nmn pnrf ru tnt, c nm fust df nfcunsulnt, c nm durnt s tf nturcn. Ncum m nucur mprfun cu tnnf, c nn n!ut !unf s plfcn. "f rug frumus s m nfrn. Fu nu trfnunf s-n nfrt nnmnc. "f rug s m scuzn tu pf mnnf, c tf-nm prsnt nn, dnn sfnnn. *nr fu crfd, c n pf !nntur !um putfn pftrfcf dfstul tnmp mprfun. Fu stnu n nn tut tnmpul lng tnnf, ln ffl cn n Mnchnfl. "u nn n uns df n funrtf dfpnrtf, n nu mnn fstf nf!unf df prfn multf, n !fn putfn fn nncn ln nun, ntuncn cnd tu durftn ncfnstn. Mnchnfl n !n putfn spunf mnn multf. Fu m nucur, c nu mnn ftn trnst. "f nunfsc. %uccfs, pf curnd. Fu m nflnm nc n nrnflf lun Mnchnfl. Fu nm !nsnt cu tntn. Mnchnfl n rs. "u nu nn !nsnt! $n nun nu f,nst nncn un ffl df tnmp snu spnnu. "u ftn nutumnt nculu, undf !rfn s fn. n-n fust dur df tntl tu n nn fust ntr-ndf!r ln fl. )u tuntf c fl sf nfl l cn!n nnn lumnn dnstnn. Nu nn unsfr!nt tu dnffrfnn( Nculu f,nst u cu tutul nltffl df !fgftnnf. Mnn punnf flurn, mnn punnf nnnmnlf pf pmnt, dnr n schnmn f,nst nfnumrnn cupncn nnln n psrn mnrn. &fnsn ul frn muntus, n cumpnrnnf cu cf frn nncn. *n - ncum mn nducfnm nmnntf. Nun nm mfrs s nf plnmnm dfpnrtf sun nntf snlcnn fnurmf, cnrf prfnu n fn un ncupfrn pfstf drumul nustru. n tutun nu n fust

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nncnundf ntunfrnc. $umnnn prfn s !nn df pfstf tut, chnnr n dnn pmnt. Nun nm urcnt n nm cunurt nfspus df multf dfnlurn n tutun nu n df!fnnt mfrsul unusntur. +ulturn mrfn lucunnu sus pf !rful muntflun. %f putfnu !fdfn funrtf nnnf. )hnnr n pfntru uchn nu f,nstn !rfu lnmnt. n - fu nm !zut sunrflf! *unr funrtf punn, dunr u rnz mnc pfstf cfl mnn nnlt muntf. *nr fu l-nm !zut. 2uu n fust cfrul n urul lun, cfl mnn frumus rsrnt, pf cnrf fu l-nm !zut !rfudnt. Mnchnfl n rs. Fu crfd c trfnunf s tf ducfm nnpun, ccn nltffl nu !um mnn scpn curnd df tnnf. Mnf nu mn s-n prut ntt df nmuznnt, dnr fu nm tnut c fl n!fn drfptntf. Frn dfstul df grfu, s put s suprn!nfunfsc n !nn. *nr trfnunn. Fu nm ncfput df nnnn ncum s prncfp, df nnnn ncum m-nm trfznt. Mnchnfl n prumns, s m cunduc pn ln cnpt, n - nun mnn n!fm nf!unf df tnnf, n mnn spus fl. Fu nu tnnm, cf !runn fl s spun cu ncfstf cu!nntf. 3 "rfn znlf nn fust nncuntnfnt, cupnlul mfu. Mnmn sttfn lng mnnf n m nnfn df mn. Fu u nunfnm. &fntru prnmn dnt n !nnn mfn putfnm s spun cu nnnmn mpcnt, c fu u nunfnm. Nnnnntf m-n custnt mult ffurt n m-nm snlnt fnurm. Ncum frn funrtf uur. $ncrnmn curgfnu pfstf unrn nn fn. *ucturnn nu !rut df n s rfnunf ln tnnf, dnr fu nm tnut c tu !fn rfun. Nnnndn 2nmn mn-n spus. "u !fn durmn un tnmp ndflungnt n tf !fn trfzn cumplft rffcut. n ntr-ndf!r. Fu nu mnn n!fnm ffnr, fu nu m mnn snmfnm unusnt n f,tfnunt. &fntru ducturn frnm u fnngm. Fn m-nu f,tfrnnt dnn spntnl duu znlf mnn trznu. Mnmn mn-n spus dunr un ultnmn clnp. Fn df nnnn n putut s rustfnsc cu!nntflf. &rnntrf lncrnmn s-n nlnntFu nu put s tf nnu dnn nuu ncns. Fu trfnunf dunr s lucrfz ncum. Frn cn u lu!ntur n fn. *nr df dntn ncfnstn nm putut s nnu sfntnmfntflf df furnf n dfznmgnrf- nncnudnt nu mnn !runnm s m mputrn!fsc, nncnudnt nu mnn durfnm s pun sun sfmnul ntrfnrnn dfstnnul mfu. Nntrndf!r, frn u lu!ntur crunt. *nr fu tnnm n fnptul, c mnmn mfn frn snncfr cu mnnf. &fntru prnmn unr fu nm snmnt, c fn m-nr fn n!ut cu drng prnn prfn m. "rnstffn fn frn ndf!rnt. n nucurnn dnn ncfnst prncnn nr fn trfnunt s nmflnurfzf durfrfn mfn. n ncfst lucru s-n n ntmplnt. Frn unrf ncfst lucru u ln!nn df-n tntlun mfu( Mnmn mn-n prumns n urncf cnz, c m !n !nzntn dfs, c nu m !n lsn snngur. %-n crfnt u sntunnf nuu, n ncfput un nlt cnpntul. Nducfn cu snnf nfsngurnnn, dnr n nun pusnnnlntn. Mnn n!fm nf!unf df tnnf, n spus Mnchnfl. 3 )mnnul nu prfn prfn frumus. ' cldnrf !fchf df crmnzn cu fnndn snnnstr, snmplu, utnl n punn drpnnt. *nr nculu frn lnnntf n dfpnrtf df unmfnn ntr-un pfnsn mnnunnt. Frn ncfputul !frnn, n nun nm trfcut prnntr-u nlff df lnlnfcn pn ln cns. Mnrusul lnlnnculun s-n rspndnt pfstf tut, psrn f,nstnu multf, prfcum n fluturn n flurn. 'n pnrc mnrf cu cupncn ntrnn, n fundnl rul, un ndf!rnt pfnsn nl pnrndnsulun. *nr cf!n nu frn n urdnnf. *f n df ln punrtn prnncnpnl, fu nm unsfr!nt ncfst lucru. Nm df!fnnt nflnnntnt, dnr nu nfrncunt. Fu m-nm mnrnt, dfunrfcf snmfnm nmfdnnt nlt dnt ncfl sfntnmfnt df frnc. n df n nm !zut. Fn sf furnnu n spntflf pumnlur, sf nscundfnu, uculfnu lumnnn. 'mnrflf nu nprut nnrn! %f nflnu n urul cnsfn cn !nfspnn n urul rfgnnfn df stup. Fu nm snmnt mnn lun Mnchnfl pf nrnul mfu. % nu-n fnf frnc, nu put s-n fnc nncn un ru. Fu tnnm ncfst lucru n frnm plnn df ndf df. Nun mnn n!fm nf!unf df tnnf, n spus Mnchnfl. )f n !rut s spun unrf cu ncfnst nfnrmnnf( 0n ncfst cmnn frnu n mnrfn mn urntntf surdu-mun n hnndncnpnn. Mnn f,nstnu n cupnn hnndncnpnn mnntnln, prnntrf ncftnn cn!n mungulunzn. Mungulunsmul fstf df fnpt, c unn dnn gfnf, cnrf fstf rspunztunrf pfntru stnnnlnrfn cflulflur, sf mpnrtf df duu urn, nn c n luc s f,nstf dunr duu nstffl df gfnf, f,nst trfn. 'nmfnnn nutrn df tnnn nu nnnlnznt ncfst dfffct curpurnl pn n cfl mnn mnc dftnlnu. Fn tnu cu f,nctntntf, c fstf !urnn df gfnn duuzfcn n unu, dfunrfcf ncfnst nunl n prnmnt numflf ."rnsumnf 41/. Nnc u nlt mutnlnnf .fr rust/ nr spunf unmfnnn nutrn df tnnn. Nh, dnr dnc nr cfrcftn tut ntt df ntfnt cnuzn spnrntunl, ntuncn puntf c nr n ungf fn ln un rfzultnt. Fu cfl punn nu m !d cn u mutnlnt /fr rust/. )mnnul frn cundus df mncuf cntulncf, dnn urdnnul frnncnscnn, nnr ncfstfn lucunn dunr ln cn!n mftrn dfprtnrf ntr-u mnstnrf. *f mnstnrf npnrnnfn u nnsfrnc mnnunnt, cnrf nrtn cn mnnnnturn cntrfdnlfn nnruc, pf cnrf fu nm !zut-u mprfun cu tnt n urn. )u tuntf c pf dnn nfnr prfn dfstul df dfrpnnt, frn n nntfrnur ntr-u stnrf dfstul df nun. 'n mnrf numr df sfnnn ucup lucul df pf zndul f,tfrnur, tn!nnul rutund frn dumnnnt df pncturn, nlf crur culurn nlndf n mntf du!fdfnu c nu nu mnn trfnunt s supurtf df mult tnmp u rfstnurnrf. "utul frn ncrcnt cu urnnmfntf sculptntf, nnr drngustfn sf putfn snmfn pur n snmplu nc, prnn cnrf n fust cunstrunt ncfnst nnsfrnc ntr-u !rfmf, undf mnn f,nstn tnmp, undf *umnfzfu nu frn u fngur sfcundnr, undf Fl frn df fnpt cfntrul !nfnn. 'ndf mnrf mn urntntf n tnmpulun n-n fust dfdncnt $un, undf cnsn %n ntrfcfn nc cflflnltf cnsf n frumusff n mnfstrnf n nu dnn cnuzn utnlntnn n snmplntnn n fnn urncrfn culnnf n fust nfznt n umnr. *nr trfnun s fn fust u !rfmf, n cnrf dumnnn frncn. &ncturnlf pf pfrfn n pf tn!nn lsnu lnmpfdf s sf nflfng ncfst lucru. Frnu stpnntf df mnrflf .*umnfzfu fulgfrtur/, cnrf prfn cu tunt putfrfn %n n cu utnlf %nlf df ngfrn mnn dfgrnn cn un cumnndnnt df lupt, cnrf frn prfgtnt, s nruncf sprf n fn pr nn n

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nnd pf cfn nfcrfdnncnun. *f pf chnpul multur sfnnn sf putfn !fdfn ncfst fnpt. *nr duu fngurn prfnu plnnf df drngustf, nn cum fstf df fnpt fnnnn lun *umnfzfu- Mnrnn n npustulul Nunn. &f chnpurnlf lur nu sf !fdfn nncn u trstur df frnc. )rucfn dnn ncpfrfn nltnrulun, sun cnrf fn ngfnunchnnu, strlucfn pfstf tuntf. Ntuncn cnd sunrflf dnmnnfnn strlucfn prnn ffrfnstr, lumnnn ntr-u culunrf nurnf n strlucfn ln ffl cn sunrflf pn n cflf mnn ndfprtntf culurn. )hnnr n 7rnstus nsun strlucfn. Fl nu ntrnn cn .murt/ pf crucf, nn cum sf puntf !fdfn dfsfurn. )urpul $un puntf c n fust nfnsuflfnt, dnr Fl strlucfn. Fl n fust ctngturul, Fl n n!nns munrtfn, ndnc munrtfn spnrntunl, nf-n flnnfrnt cu tutul df $ucnffr n n df!fnnt un pud sprf "ntl. Nrtnstul prfn s fn tnut tuntf ncfstfn. )n ntr-u cnrtf sf putfn cntn n ncfst Nnsus. Fl fmnnn u putfrf n u sngurnn, nn cum fu nu nm mnn ntlnnt nn cf!n pn ncum. Nncnudnt nu nm !zut fu n ncfnst nnsfrnc !rfu umnr. Frn df pnrc nr fn fust 7rnstus prfzfnt n prfn pnrc, c pf tun cnrf sf rugnu nncn n ndncfn n !nnrnnnlf %nlf. "unurnlf nrgnntnn dnr tutun mun nlf urgnn mfcnnncf nnruc, cnrf n fn nu n trfnunt s fnf rfstnurnt, nccfntun ncfst fffct n !r fn prc u stnrf nprunpf cfrfnsc. Nncn un tun nf frn prfn tnrf, nncn unul prfn dfplnsnt, nncn un sunft nf ln luculun lun nu dfrnn n slu nn. *rgstus n nlnd sf mncnu ncfstf sunftf prnn ncpfrfn, cnrf susnnfn cu furmn sn !nnrnnnlf n lf rutun fn. )hnnr n cunstrucnn nu n putut s sf cunstrunnsc dnn grffnl. Mnftrnn df cunstrucnf nu tunt prunnnnl ncfstf lucrurn, fn frnu nntrudun n lumfn !nnrnnnlur n n nrmunnfn. Nncn un cul nu dnstrugfn !nnrnnnlf rugcnunnn. Furmn frn ntt df pfrffct cn u mnu. %f nsfmnnu !nnrnnnlf nrmunncf, cu cflf cnrf lf-nm trnt fu dfsurn cu Mnchnfl. Nncnundf nu nm fust fu pf pmnt mnn ffrncnt dfct n ncfnst nnsfrnc. )u tutul nltffl frn n cmnn. Muln frnu ncun urnn df umnrf, cnrf sf nnfnu dup fn cn lnpnturnlf n n nsufnu zn n nunptf. %cfnn frn ct sf puntf df grunznnc. Fu frnm funrtf spfrnnt dnn ncfnst cnuz, dfunrfcf pn ncum fu nu nm mnn putut unsfr!n nstffl df lucrurn. &n ncum nm putut dunr s snmt, dnc un um fmnnn !nnrnnn nunf snu rflf. Ncum trfnunn s rfcunusc, c dfsurn frnu ncfstf umnrf, cnrf schnmnnu !nnrnnnlf. )u ct mnn multf frnu n urul unun um, cu ntt mnn mult m snmfnm rfspnns df fl, cu ntt mnn tnrf m nnmfrnu !nnrnnnlf snlf, cu tuntf c umnrflf nu prfnu nncnudnt c !ur s m ntncf pf mnnf. 'mnrflf prfnu, c nncn nu sf nntfrfsfnz df mnnf. Multf dnn sururn frnu drguf, dnr f,nstnu dunr duu, cnrf m-nu nccfptnt pf mnnf ntru tutul, nn cum n fcut-u surn Nfnfdnctn. Ncfstf duu sururn frnu n flf lnnfrf df nstffl df umnrf. +nnrnnnlf lur frnu dfschnsf n purf. Nculu undf frnu flf, rspndfnu lnnntfn n pncfn. )hnnr n cupnnn, cnrf frnu tut tnmpul nflnnntnn, rfncnunnu ln ncfstf !nnrnnn. 0n prfzfnn lur nu prfn f,nstn cfnrt snu nfnflfgfrn, flf lf nmflnurnu df n df ln ncfput. Nu n susnnfnu nncnudnt drfptntfn, flf nu trfnunnu s fnf n!nngtunrf ntr-u cfnrt, putfnu s sf rftrng umnlf, fr s pnnrd n fnn lur nsun fnn. Frnu ntt df tnrn n snnf, c nu mnn lf frn nfcfsnr nnmnc dnn f,tfrnur. )u tnmpul, cnd fu putfnm df n s m unt mnn ndnc n nnmnlf lur, tnnm n mutn!ulNdnc n nntfrnurul lur nrdfn u lumnn, cnrf strlucfn pfstf tut nuntrul. Ncfn lumnn frn nsun 7rnstus. Flf snu prfdnt cu tutul n ncfn lumnn, nu prnmnt-u fr fzntrn. &rnn fnptul c ful pruprnul , pruprnnlf lur durnnf lfnu nnunt, putfn s strlucfnsc ntt df tnrf ncfnst lumnn. Flf nu rfnunnt ln tutul, nu mnn frnu prnnsf df nnmnc. Nnnnn, mnrcmnntfn, mncnrfn, prfstngnul, fnnmn, durnnf lumftn, lf tuntf lf-nu dnt drumul n prnn ncfnstn nu ctngnt flf cu mult mnn mult. Flf n!fnu !unf s sf tupfnsc cu fnnnn ncflfn lumnnn. Flf nu mnn trfnunnu s cuntrulfzf sfntnmfntflf df ur, furnf n suprnrf. Ncfstf sfntnmfntf nncn nu mnn f,nstnu n flf, nu mnn gsfnu nnmnc, n cnrf s punt lucun. Nn nu df!fnnt ncfstf duu surf nsun drngustfn. $nnntfn ndnc, nntfrnunr n sngurnnn frnu dfstul sprn nn, flf nu mnn n!fnu nf!unf df nltcf!n n frnu lnnfrf prnn ncfnstn, s drunnsc tutul, s fmnnf fr ntrfruprf drngustfn lur. Ndf!rntn drngustf nu fstf cn u lumnnrf, cnrf sf cunsum n sf sncrnfnc. $umnnn drngustfn strlucftf prnn drunrf dunr mnn tnrf. *f!nnf cn un sunrf cnrf nu sf stnngf nncnudnt, cnrf crftf tut tnmpul n df!nnf mnn strlucntur, sf hrnftf dnn lumnnn !fnnc, dnn sunrflf df !fcn n lun *umnfzfu. *rngustfn ncfstur surf nu sf rftrgfn nncn df ln cfn, cf trfnunnu s trnnsc cu nttfn umnrf n urul lur. Nu sf rftrgfnu df lng ncftnn. Nu trfnunnu s sf npfrf n nntfrnur, flf putfnu nnsunrnf ncflf ngrfsnunn n putfnu s lf trnnsfurmf n drngustf. n df fnfcnrf dnt sf cutrfmurnu ncflf umnrf, n pnfrdfnu fchnlnnrul n pncnu n ndncurn snu frnu dntf ln u pnrtf. Mn urntntfn dnntrf cflflnltf surf frnu n flf drguf n prnftfnunsf. Frnu tut tnmpul prfgtntf cn s n utf n s nlnnf. N df!fnnt slu nn lur, s nnn grn df nun, n nuu nu nf lnpsfn nnsulut nnmnc. Flf fcfnu tutul cf putfnu. *nr frn dnfncnl pfntru flf, s fnf tunt znun drguf. 'nflf frnu cfl punn mnn nnnf prutf ntf. %pnnul lur df fnfrgnf rmnfn cfl punn stnnnl. Ngrfsnunfn snu suprnrfn sf uprfn nculu cn ntr-u uglnnd, dnr nu frnu schnmnntf n drngustf, cn rmnfnu cn u fnfrgnf nfgntn! n ncpfrf. *nr mn urntntfn dnntrf ncflf surf nu n!fnu ncfnst prutfcnf. )mpul lur df fnfrgnf nu frn stnnnl, frn cn u tun df mnnn, cnrf n!fn u gnur. 'mnrflf nnsurnfnu tutul cu mnrf puft. %f putfn !fdfn tut tnmpul un ru df fnfrgnf, cnrf cn un curdun umnnlncnl spnrntunl sf ntnndfn prnn ncpfrf. n nu numnn pruprnnlf umnrf frnu prfzfntf cn nntf mncn !nmpnrn, n cflf nlf cupnnnlur sttfnu n nnsurnfnu tutul cu mnrf puft. Flf prfnu s crfnsc n prfnu s df!nn cum!n mnn ngrfsn!f, mnn !nn n ncfpfnu s trncnsfzf cupnnn n mnn tnrf. Nn sf nfnnnn u sntunnf pnrndu,, c n urul unfn surf nmnnnlf frn dunr nflnnntf, cfnrt n nn!ndnf. Ncflf surf frnu .mncntf/ df mfsfrnn lur! 0n ndf!rntul sfns nl cu!ntulun! *nc cun!n n sf nn tut tnmpul fnfrgnn, trfnunf s df!nn unusnt. Ncfstf surf frnu cn nntf lumnrn. n flf fmnnnu lumnn, cldur, dnr sf prpdfnu prnn ncfnstn! Flf nu nu prnmnt n snnf nc lumnnn !fnnc, cnrf pruducf fr pnuz fnfrgnf nuu. $f lnpftf ncrfdfrfn pfntru ncfnstn. $umnnn puntf s-u prnmfnsc dunr ncfln, cnrf n rfnunnt cu tutul ln snnf, cnrf n

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dnt drumul ln tut cf fstf mntfrnnl. n ncfst nct df munc pruprnf, nfcfsnt mult curn n ncrfdfrf. *nr ntuncn df!nnf dnn crfdnn cununtfrf. Fu crfd n *umnfzfu df!nnf Fu tnu, c "u f,ntn. Ncfstn fstf pnsul cfl mnn nmpurtnnt. Nncunftunrfn, cnrf nchndf ncfn u, fstf frncn! Frncn, s rfnunn ln tutul, pfntru c nu sf tnf, c mnn trznu nu stnn pur n snmplu n pustnu, snngur n prsnt. Frncn, s rfnunn ln pruprnul tu Fu, pfntru c nu sf tnf, cf sf prnmftf n schnmn. Frncn, s rfnunn ln !nznnnlul mntfrnnl, pfntru c nu fstf df ncrfdfrf cf!n cf nu sf !fdf, spnrntunlul, dfunrfcf nu sf puntf !fdfn. Frncn, c nu !n f,nstn tutun un *umnfzfu! Ncfnstn fstf rscrucfn nmpurtnnt n f,nstfnfn nunstrf. Ntuncn cnd nun nm n uns ln u, nu nf mnn puntf n utn nnmfnn. Nun nnnf, n dunr nun, putfm n trfnunf s dfschndfm ncfn ncunftunrf. Fnfcnrf, cnrf cnut, fstf cundus pn nncn, fnfcnrf, cnrf cfrf, nu trfnunf s mfnrg snngur ncfst drum. *nr ncfn nchunftunrf, trfnunf s-u dfschnd snngur. Fr n utur! Fl nsun trfnunf s-n n!nng tfnmn. Fl trfnunf s spun- *n, fu crfd, fu tnu, c "u f,ntn! Fu tnu c "u f,ntn n fu tnu c "u ftn funrtf nun. Fu tnu! Nu, pfntru c tf-nm !zut, nu, pfntru fnptul c mn-nn nrtnt mnnunnn, nu, pfntru c "u nu mn-nn lsnt prnntr-un mnrncul u nlt nlfgfrf. Nu - fu tnu ncfnstn pur n snmplu, pfntru c snmt, c "u trfnunf s f,ntn, pfntru c fu snmt drngustfn pf cnrf u fmnnn "u. Fu tnu ncfnstn pur n snmplu, n fu tf nunfsc *umnfzfulf! Frncn fstf cfl mnn mnrf nlnnt n lun %ntnnn. Fl u mfnnnf dup putfrnlf snlf, ccn un cnrf fstf nchns dnn ncfnst cnuz, fstf df fnpt punrtn sprf lnnfrtntf, cnrf lns n urmn sn pf !fcn mprnn lun %ntnnn. Ntuncn cnd un sf nchndf n urmn tn, nu mnn nrf fl nncn u putfrf, ncnnflf snlf sunt dunr nrfnlf. Ncfln, cnrf st n fnn unn, fstf cuprnns mnn nc u dnt uur df fl n fstf dnn nuu trns punn n ndncurn. )nd nn trfcut df ncfn u, ntuncn nn rfunt. Muln stnu nnn ntrfgn n fnn ncflfn un. Fn sunt dfstul df putfrnncn, s sf ffrfnsc df ntncurnlf lun %ntnnn, dnr fn nu nu curn ul, s dfschnd ncunftunrfn. $f fstf frnc s rfnunf ln .fgu-ul/ lur, pf cnrf l-nu nprnt cu grn n cnrf lf-n ndus n uchnn lumnn cnnstf n sln!. Fn sf tfm, pfntru c nu put crfdf, c ndf!rntn putfrf sf nfl n duh - trupul sf !fstf ftf n nn n cn!n nnn. *fznmgnn n dfspncnn n nntfrnurul lur sf nturc fn dnn drum, pfsc pf trfptf n us, n cnut ffrncnrfn n sngurnnn mntfrnnl n nu nf!unf ntuncn ndfsfurn df funrtf mult tnmp, pn cf fn n ung nnrn ln prngul duhulun. Fn sf nsfnmn cu u lumnnrf, cnrf nu sf lns nprnns, dnn prncnnn frncnn, c fn sf dnstrugf nstffl. Numnn - ln cf fulusftf fn ntuncn( Fn sf nsfnmn cu u smn df rsnd, cnrf nu sf lns pus n pmnt, pfntru c fn trfnunf ntuncn s rfnunf ln nndfntntntfn fn. *nr tucmnn numnn prnn ncfnstn puntf fn s nduc rundf ultfrnunrf, cnrf punrt !nnn fn mnn dfpnrtf, n cnrf fn puntf s trnnsc spnrntunl mnn dfpnrtf. $n cf fstf fn nltffl df fulus( Fn puntf s sf nn nc cn!n nnn, sf ufnlftf, putrfzftf n munrf ntuncn. Ncfnst murnrf urmfnz, cf-n drfpt, mnn muln nnn mnn trznu, dfct dnc fn nr fn sfmnnt, dnr ncfnst murnrf fstf dffnnntn!. 0ntr-un cnz nducf munrtfn fn !nn nuu ln n!fnl, n cfllnlt cnz fstf fn munrt. %ururnlf ncfstur duu grupurn n lunu putfrfn lur dnn rugcnunf. 2ugcnunfn fstf furmn f,tfrnunr, cnrf fncf pusnnnl cunfctnrfn nntfrnunr cu lumnnn dnn ncfputurn n lun *umnfzfu. Fu putfnm !fdfn ndfsfn, cum uscnlnnnlf rugcnunnn l nfurnu pf dfplnn pf cfl cnrf sf rugn, sf punfnu prutfctur n urul lun. )um flf ptrund trupul pf dfplnn. 'scnlnnnlf nnltf nlf unfn rugcnunn pnsnunntf, cnrf !nnf ntr-ndf!r df ln nnnm, put s trnnsfurmf n sus uscnlnnnlf unsf nlf trupulun ntr-u sffr mult mnn nnlt, .sf lf ndfprtfzf/. 2ugcnunfn curftf uscnlnnn pruprnf, nn nct umul fstf n stnrf, s prfnn fnfrgnn nnlt, curnt n lun *umnfzfu. Fstf f,nct cn n ln rndnuu. 'n npnrnt df rndnu prust nu puntf nnnf dnstnngf frfc!fnflf dnstnnctf, sunt tutdfnunn sunftf sfcundnrf n sunftf df dfrnn df fn. Nntrfngn .murdrnf/ fstf prflunt n nnrn rfdnt. 2ugcnunfn fstf fnltrul df dfsprnrf. )u ct mnn nntfnsn!, cu ct mnn umnl, cu ct mnn plnn df drngustf fstf fn, cu ntt mnn nnnf funcnunfnz fl, cu ct mnn mult .murdrnf/ ndfprtfnz fl prnn fnltru, cu ntt mnn curnt n prfnuns fstf fnfrgnn, pf cnrf u lns fl s trfnc. )t df muln sf mulumfsc cu murdrnn! n sf mnr ntuncn, df cf .muturul/ lur nu funcnunfnz cum trfnunf, df cf sf nlnnf fl cuntnnuu n sf uprftf, df cf trfnunf fn cuntnnuu s mfnrg n .ntflnfrul df rfpnrnnn/, pfntru n-l punf nnrn n funcnunf. Funrtf rfpfdf nm rfcunscut fu, cf nnnfcu!ntnrf fstf rugcnunfn pfntru ncfnn, cnrf crfd n ncfnstn smfrnn n plnnn df ncrfdfrf. n cupnnn, n crur sntunnf frn cfn mnn rfn, nu df!fnnt n tnmpul rugcnunnn cfl mnn ndfsfn funrtf lnnntnn. 'scnlnnn $un n pnrnlnznt umnrflf. Flf mfrgfnu cu tnmpul cn fnnnf f,tfnuntf ln !nctnmflf lur, dn, flf trfnunnu ndfsfn s sf dfprtfzf pf dfplnn. 0n nnsfrncn ncfnstn n mnstnrnn n-nm !zut fu nncnudnt umnrf n cuntrnrnu cu nltf nnsfrncn pf cnrf lf cunutfnm. Furmn fn, fngurnlf fn, nmngnnnlf, nrmunnn, cldurn n prutfcnn fn, pf cnrf fn lf fmnnn, furmn u uscnlnnf ntt df curnt n cumprnmnt - fn frn pfntru umnrf df nfptruns. ' rugcnunf ntr-u nstffl df mprf urnmf fstf nc cu mult mnn ffncnfnt, n sf nmulftf putfnnnl nc u dnt, dnc muln sf rung mprfun. ' uscnlnnf nn df nmfns trfcf pur n snmplu prnn nzulnturul, cnrf sf nfl ntrf um n *umnfzfu, curfntul puntf s curg lnnfr. 'n .fnur df fmunf/ sf ducf pf spntf n us. Ncfnstn fstf fnfrgnn cnrf sf rf!nrs n nun prnn culunnn !frtfnrnl, ncfnstn fstf hrnnn duhu!nncfnsc, cnrf nlnmfntfnz cfntrflf nunstrf df fnfrgnf. $n hrnnn fnznc pfntru trupul nustru tnf ncfnstn fnfcnrf- cu ct mnn curnt fstf hrnnn, cu ct mnn punnf sunstnnf df dffurn cunnnf fn, cu ct mnn punn .murdrnf/, cu ntt mnn nun, cu ntt mnn df mnn mnrf !nlunrf fstf fn. "ut nn stnu lucrurnlf n cu .hrnnn duhu!nncfnsc/. Numnn c ncfnstn fstf mult mnn nmpurtnnt pfntru sntntf n pfntru cnpncntntfn df rnndnmfnt, dfct hrnnn trupfnsc. *f cf sf mulumfsc nncn nn df muln cu .murdrnn/( F,nstnu n unflf sururn, cnrf frnu tut tnmpul prust dnspusf, ntrtntf n nunntunrf df cfnrt n fr drngustf. )n mgnrn df crnt ducfnu flf umnrflf lur cu flf. )fl mnn ru frn cnzul ln ndmnnnstrntunrf. Frn u snngur mnsc ntunfcnt, cnrf fnfrnfn nculu n ntfptn, s-n ncurn fzf nnrn !nctnmflf sprf .fnptf/ nun. Ncfstf umnrf nu sunt ntr-ndf!r n stnrf, s nfptunnsc snngurf fnptflf lur rflf. Flf nu nf!unf df cnnf!n, cnrf fncf ncfnstn pfntru flf. "untf mncnlf gfluznn n nntrngn, luptflf sfcrftf pfntru putfrf, dumnnn dfschns n ngrfsnunfn, ur, furnf,

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mnnf, mnncnun n dnstrugfrf sfr!fsc ncfstur umnrf pfntru sturnrfn snmurnlur lur dfgfnfrntf. Flf sf sntnsfnc n lcumnn !nctnmfn lur n u ndfnmn nfstulf sprf tuntf pntnmnlf n !ncnnlf, nlcul, lcumnf df sn!urnrf, sf,unlntntf n tuntf !nrnnnnlf, dfpfndfn df drugurn n df tnnlftf, tuntf ncfstfn sunt lucrurn, cnrf trnnsfurm fnfrgnn curnt *umnfzfnfnsc n fnfrgnf nfgntn!, dnstrugtunrf. Nu unsfr!, nndnr, ncftn unmfnn df luc, cum fn nu rfnunnt ln lnnfrtntfn lur, cum fn s-nu fcut scln!n - df nun !unf u mnngf df uc nlf putfrnlur rulun( *nc fn nr putfn !fdfn, cum ncfstf umnrf sf nucur df fnfcnrf ncnunf rfunt, lur lf-nr fn ru dnn cnuzn scrnfn! )nnstf n rfnumf, dup ncfstf lucrurn sf strdunftf nstzn ntrfngn lumf, stpnnrf pfstf ct sf puntf df muln nlnn. $n ncfnstn nu nu cfn mnn muln nncn mcnr putfrf pfstf fn nnn. Nuturfnlnznrfn fstf mnrfn df!nz! Ncfnstn sf cnut pfstf tut, n snngurtntf, n dnscutfc, n rn strnnf - nu ln snnf nsun. )um put fu nndnr s m nuturfnlnzfz, dnc funcnunfz cn un runut n urmfz cumnntf tuturur nntrngnlur nlf putfrnlur rulun( Nnmfnn nu lf fstf nfn uturnt lsnt prnd! Fnfcnrf puntf s sf mputrn!fnsc! Nrmflf sunt !unn n rugcnunfn - n ngfrul mfu, cnrf mfrgf tcut nlturn df mnnf n ntfnpt numnn fnptul, cn fu s-n dnu n sfrnt frul !nfnn mflf lun n mn, cn fl s m punt ndrumn n cunducf - nu n scln!ngnf, cum prftnnd ntt df muln nnt ucurnturn, nu- n lnnfrtntf! Numnn c lnnfrtntfn nu nsfnmn, s pun fncf urncf !rfn tu. $nnfrtntfn nsfnmn s pun fncf tutul, cf fstf putrn!nt. +unnn nunstr fstf mult prfn tnrf nnflufnnt dnn tuntf prnlf pusnnnlf. "untf uscnlnnnlf nlf cflurlnln unmfnn n cflf nlf putfrnlur rulun u nnflufnfnz. *f-nnnn cnd nun !um prflun !unn lun *umnfzfu, suntfm nun ntr-ndf!r lnnfrn. Fl pusfd snngurn !unn lnnfr, nfnnflufnnt df tun cfnlnln, n fnfcnrf fstf nstffl cu fl, cnrf fstf dnspus, s nduptf !unn $un. n sururnlf ncfstun ultnm grup sf rugnu, tut nn cn n cflflnltf. 0n f,tfrnur nu frn nncn u dnffrfn df rfmnrcnt. *nr ct df nnnf, c cfn mnn muln nu sf put untn n nnnm! Fstf df nfnchnpunt, ln cf ffl df lucrurn sunt unnn n stnrf s sf gndfnsc pf lng rugcnunf. Nmnrcmnntfn curnt puntf s nscund unflf lucrurn# nmpurtnnt fstf ns, cum nrnt stnrfn pf dfdfsunt. 3 Ncfnstn n fust dfcn nmprf urnmfn mfn nuu pfntru tnmpul urmtur. Fu frnm nnnf ntrfnnut, sururnlf n ddfnu ntr-ndf!r tunt snlnnn. 'nn dnntrf flf m-n n!nt chnnr s n cntfsc. Fn putfn funrtf ndnc s sf trnnspun n nntfrnurul mfu n n unsfr!nt rfpfdf, c fu nr trfnun s fnu n stnrf df ncfnstn. Fu nm n n!nt ncfnstn funrtf rfpfdf, numnn c fu n!fnm tut tnmpul nf!unf df cnnf!n, cnrf s-mn ntunrc pngnnnlf, fnnndc pfntru nn cf!n nu frnu mnnnlf mflf n stnrf. *nr nun frnm u mnrf cumunnntntf, undf fnfcnrf l n utn pf cfllnlt, nn df nnnf pf ct putfn. N fust u mnrf nnugnrf pfntru mnnf. Fu nm unsfr!nt ncun, c multf lucrurn mn frnu pf dfplnn strnnf. *nc nm n!ut pn ncum df n dfstulf ucnznn, s m n! n rndnrf, ntuncn fu trfnunn ncum ntr-ndf!r s nnsul!fsc un curs df mnftrnn. *f fnfcnrf dnt, cnd fu tfrmnnnsfm df cntnt u pngnn, trfnunn fu s ntfpt, pn !fnfn cnnf!n, cnrf mn nturcfn pngnnn. Fu n!fnm, cf-n drfpt, u sunfrnf, cu cnrf m putfnm fncf unsfr!nt, dnr fu nu !runnm n nncn un cnz s-n tnrnnnzfz pf cfnlnln n u fulusfnm numnn n cnzul df strnct nfcfsntntf. Nn nm ntfptnt fu tucmnn df fnfcnrf dnt rndtunrf, pn cf !fnfn cnnf!n, chnnr dnc frn ct sf puntf df nntfrfsnnt# n pfntru mnnf frn tutul nntfrfsnnt. *nr fu tnnm n fnptul, c frn u mnlustn!nrf nfnt dnn cumun, s nm !unf s nnsul!fsc un nsfmfnfn curs nntfnsn! n rndnrf. Fstf cn ln tuntf cflflnltf. Nttn tnmp ct tf nfln nuntru n trfnunf s tf ustfnftn, sunt multf lucrurn snmntf cn fnnnd suprtunrf. *nc ns nn trfcut n nn rfzul!nt u prunlfm, ftn nucurus, c nn nnrunt-u, c nn putut s rfzntn, pfntru n fn mnn nugnt cu u f,pfrnfn. n cu smfrfnnn n mfrs ln ncfput nc funrtf grfu. M custn mult n!nngfrf df snnf, s m lns nfnt, mnrcnt n hrnnt df sururn strnnf, s nccfpt nfn uturnrfn mfn. Funrtf grfu n fust ntuncn, cnd fu cunstntnm ln unflf, c flf fcfnu ncfnstn numnn cu snl, c nstn npnrnnfn, cf-n drfpt, df muncn lur, c sf scrnfnu ns df mnnf. Ncfnstn u puntf unsfr!n df nltffl fnfcnrf. %crnn fstf un funrtf nntfns sfntnmfnt. Ncfnstn nu sf lns nscuns, n nu fstf nf!unf df multf, s pun snmn ncfst sfntnmfnt, n fr s fnn !nznunnr. )hnnr dnc ncfrcnrfn fstf nntfprnns, s u nscunzn n f,tfrnur, ncfnstn fufnz cfl mnn ndfsfn. Nu fstf frumus s snmn, c nlnn sf scrnfsc df tnnf. Ncfnstn fstf nn df umnlntur. *nr cfn mnn muln nu sunt df!nn df ncfst lucru. Fn sunt prnzunnfrn nn sfntnmfntflur lur. )nnf puntf, unrf, s snr pfstf umnrn sn( N fust grfu pfntru mnnf, n nsfmfnfn sntunnn s nu m gndfsc- tu pun, cf-n drfpt, s tf scrnftn df mnnf, n fu trfnunf s m prfdnu nfn uturnt nf, dnr duhu!nncfsc m nflu fu tutun mult pfstf tnnf. $uptf lungn trfnunn fu s n cu mnnf nsumn. *nr, nsfrnt, nznutnsfm fu tutun. N fust !ncturnn cfn mnn grfn, dnr cfn mnn nmpurtnnt. )nnf sf nnl pf snnf, sf !n smfrn. Nnsus n-n spus ncfnstn, pfntru n-n nlnntn pf cfn mncn n srncn. Nu - Fl nf-n pus cu ncfnstn unn dnntrf chfnlf sprf mprnn cfrurnlur n mn. Nngmfnrf duhu!nncfnsc fstf cfl mnn ru dumnn pf ncfnst cnlf. Fu nsumn nm trnt ncfnstn. Fstf u f,pfrnfn, pf cnrf fnfcnrf trfnunf s-u fnc udnt, df cnrf nu fstf nnmfnn scutnt. Ncfnstn fstf unn dnntrf cflf mnn nmpurtnntf f,pfrnfnf, dnr dnn pcntf n unn, pf cnrf dfsfurn u unn nnrn funrtf uur. Nngmfnrfn fstf rdncnnn n tut rul. %ntnn n czut, pfntru c fl n df!fnnt ngmfnt. Nngmfnrfn trngf dup snnf nn!ndnn. )nnf fstf ngmfnt, cnrf, dfcn, fstf df prfrfn, c s-nr nfln mnn sus dfct nlnn, ncfln gfnfrfnz nutumntnc sfntnmfntf df nn!ndnf fn df ncfnn, cnrf ucup un pust mnn nnlt. )ffn cf urmfnz fstf ntuncn frncn, frncn, df n fn dfscupfrnt. )nnf l nn!ndnnz pf nltul dnn cnuzn puznnfn snlf sucnnlf, mnnnnn, nnnnlur, ffmfnn lun, n fstf cfl mnn ndfsfn tfnm - chnnr dnc n nncuntnfnt -, cfllnlt nr putfn unsfr!n ncfst lucru n s-nr putfn nprn fn df ncfst lucru. n cflunlnlt n fstf tfnm, c fl puntf snmn uscnlnnnlf nm!ndnfn, n pfntru c fl nng df sfnm, c cf!n nmfnnntur l ntmpnn. Nstffl n fstf ntuncn

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fnfcrunn frnc fn df cfllnlt, n frncn fstf cfl mnn dnstrugtur sfntnmfnt, cnrf f,nst ntr-ndf!r. Nn cum urn l puntf dnstrugf pf cfllnlt, tut nn tf dnstrugf frncn pf tnnf nsun. &fntru multf nuln fstf frncn cnuzn. n nnfnrctul mnucnrdnc n cnncfrul n nu rdcnnn cfl mnn ndfsfn n frnc. Ncfnstn sf nfl ns ndfsfn nn df ndnc nrdcnnnt n fstf df n nn df .unnnunt/, c fn nu mnn fstf rfcunuscut cn fnnnd nstffl. "untf cflflnltf, n strfsul, ncrcrn nlf mfdnulun nmnnnnt n nn mnn dfpnrtf, sunt numnn fncturn ndnnunnln. Flf mrfsc rnscul, nu sunt ns nncnudnt dfclnnnturul. *f cf sunt mnnngfrnn lu!nn nn df dfs df nnfnrctul df nnnm( %ngur, fn lucrfnz mult, sunt tut tnmpul n hfctnc, sf nfl sun prfsnunf. *nr n nstffl df sntunnn sunt n muln nlnn. Numnn c - lur lf fstf frnc, s nu fnf prfn slnnn pfntru prfsnunfn f,frcntnt, s fufzf n s fnf dnn nfnr dnn slu n. *f cf nu mnn nlfs dfntntnn cutn cfn mnn mnrf df nnfnrcturn df nnnm n nprunpf cfn mnn mnc mfdnf n nnnlur df !nn( Nncn fn nu lucr mnn mult dfct nlnn. %ngur, fn sf nfl sun mpu!rnrfn psnhnc, s fnf nf!unn s-n fnc fnfcrunn trfnnn cum trfnunf, dnr ncfnstn lf mfrgf n multur nlturn tut nn. Nu, fn lucrfnz funrtf nprunpf df pncnfnt - n ncfstunn n fstf tfnm! n ncfnst frnc sf trnnsmntf nsuprn lur, dfunrfcf cfn mnn punnn tnu, cum tf pun prutf n ffncnfnt fn df ncfst lucru. *f cf sf mnuln!fsc nn df muln df cnncfr( Fn sf tfm! Frnc fn df rnzf, frnc fn df sunstnnf nucn!f, frnc fn df ntrnff, fn df n fn snngur, frnc fn df cfnlnln, frnc fn df snnf nsun, frnc fn df tuntf. Fn sf tfm df n fncf cnncfr, n ncfnstn fstf cfn mnn sngur mftud, s tf mnuln!ftn ntr-ndf!r df ncfnst nunl. *f cf ! ngrn urnn nfrncunn df znun df mnnf. Nu mnn n!fn !un nndnr nncn u ncrfdfrf( 'ntnn-! ln psrn, ln nnnmnlf, ln nntur! *nc gnzfln nr fn un um, fn n-nr putfn cu sngurnn s-n scnpf lfulun. Frncn n-nr pnrnlnzn pncnunrflf. *nc pnsrfn nr fn un um, fl nr trfnun s munr df funmf. *f nttn grn , cu cf puntf fl mnnf s sf hrnfnsc, n-nr putfn fl nstzn s znunrf nfnr, pfntru n prnndf nnsfctf. Frncn n d nrnpn!, sun un pru!frn cunuscut. Ncfnstn nu fstf frnc, cn cuntrnrnul ncfstfnn- !unnn df n suprn!nfun. Frncn mpnfdncn numnn, fn nncnudnt nu nnrnpfnz. n frncn dfclnnfnz ntuncn tuntf cflflnltf sfntnmfntf nfgntn!f. *nc fu m nspnmnt df cnnf!n, df!nn fu cu tnmpul furnus nsuprn lun, ncfp s-l ursc. n cffn cf frnc mn prncnnunftf mnf, ncfnstn n-u fnc lun cu urn mfn. n cfllnlt lu!ftf nnpun! Fl sf npr. Fl nu tnf tutun, c fl n ncfput df n prnmul ntnc cu frncn lun, c urn n fust numnn rfncnn nsuprn ncfstun lucru. Fl sf snmtf n drfpt. n dnc cnnf!n tf lu!ftf pf unrnzul drfpt, d-n n cfl stng sprf lu!nrf. $n ncfnstn sf rfffr ncfnst prupuznnf. Nu s tf lnn ntut pn ln munrtf, cum muln nrunnzfnz, schnmnul duhu!nncfsc df lu!nturn trfnunf s-l sfrftn. % nu rspunzn ln ur cu ur, cn s-u prfnfn, s-u trnnsfurmn n s-u trmnn nnpun cn drngustf. Ntuncn pun tu lnnntnt s nn n cfllnlt unrnz. Nu mnn !nnf nnmnc nnpun. Nunftf-n dumnnnn tn! - nu dnn cnuzn c tu trfnunf s tf ucn nnnn unrnn! "u nncn nu trfnunf s-n nunftn n cnlntntfn lur df dumnnn, cn n cnlntntfn lur cn unmfnn, cnrf sunt tut nn cupnnn lun *umnfzfu cn tnnf, tut nn df prfnun. Nncftfnz df n-n ur, ncfpf s-n nunftn, n urn lur sf !n f!npurn n nnmnc. *nc fn nu mnn fstf nnt, sf mnstunf fn pf snnf nsun cn un fuc, cnrf nu mnn prnmftf hrnn. n, dfudnt, fn nu mnn sunt dumnnnn tn. Grffnln fstf ncffn, c nun nf gndnm n prfn scurtf durntf df tnmp. *nc fu ncftfz nstzn, s-l mnn ursc pf !fcnnul mfu, pf cnrf l-nm cunsndfrnt nnn df-n rndul cn fnnnd dumnnul mfu, ntuncn fl ntr-ndf!r cu grfu m !n mnrnn mnnf. *nr puntf put fu n ctf!n lunn, prunnnnl chnnr n cn!n nnn s dnnlughfz cu fl nnrn nurmnl. &untf c sf dfz!ult dup nnn df znlf chnnr u mnc prnftfnnf dnn ncfnstn. Numnn c - s prunfzn u sptmn df drngustf, n dnc nu rfuftf ntuncn, n-l lnn pf .ntrnul prust/ nnrn nnlt - s !nd fl tutun snngur, undf n ungf fl fr gfnfruzntntfn mfn - ncfnstn nu funcnunfnz! *rngustfn ndf!rnt nu punf cundnnn, nncn ultnmntf. Fn fstf pur n snmplu prfzfnt. Nntutdfnunn! n nsturnn fstf plnn df f,fmplf df ncfst gfn. Mnn df crn s-nr putfn scrnf dfsprf ncfst sunnfct. Ghnndn fstf ntr-ndf!r f,fmplul cfl mnn cunuscut n cfl mnn nmpuntur. Fr nncn u !nulfn, cu nfsfrnt drngustf n rndnrf n-n cundus fl pupurul su n nfnrn nsuprnrnn. Nfgnnnstnn n mfrs pf cfnlnlt cnlf. Ncum fstf un sffrt dnn pupulnnf munrt snu f,nlnt. n rfstul( Fnfcnrf fstf nsfmnnt df nfnurucnrf, df-nnnn gsftn u fnmnlnf fr munrtf, rnnrf, nunl, srncnf, funmftf! % nu lupn, nu nsfnmn- s rfnunn, s nu tf npfrn. Ghnndn n nrtnt ncfnstn. % n nunftn pf !rmnnn tn nu nsfnmn- s tf lnn sun ugnt fr nprnrf! n nrmflf nunnrnn n ut, dnr flf nu rnfsc! Ncfnstn fstf dnffrfnn. %mfrfnnn fstf u cundnnf pfntru ncfst lucru n cfrtntudnnfn nnsulut, c nnmfnn nu-mn puntf lun nnmnc, pfntru c duhul mfu fstf dunr nftrfctur n nn!ulnfrnnnl. n tuntf cflflnltf sunt pf dfplnn nfnmpurtnntf.

3 Nrugnnn frn ncfputul. Nrugnnn nu sf puntf f,frcntn mult !rfmf! Multf zncnlf cunnn cu mult mnn mult ndf!r, dfct putfm nun s crfdfm. )u tnmpul nm n!nt fu, s rmn n ntuncn umnl, cnnd frn grfu, ntuncn cnd frn !urnn df .umnlnnnf/ ndf!rntf. n fu sunt tutun nucuruns dnn ncfst mutn!, pfntru c nm putut fu s trfc prnn ncfnst cunl. Mn s-nu dfschns pfrspfctn!f nun spnrntunlf, ln cnrf n mud nurmnl nncn nu sf !nsfnz. 'ltnmn unr m-n ntrfnnt Mnchnfl-

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"f-nn gndnt tu !rfudnt, cum nm putut nun s dnscutm( Nprunpf ntutdfnunn nn putut s mn snmn prfzfnn, ctfudnt nn putut s m !fzn snu n ddfnn sfnmn df fnptul c sunt nprunpf. "u nn fust dfschns n prn!nnn mfn, n fu nm putut dfsfurn s-n trnnsnmt un gnd. *nr ntuncn, cnd frnn ntr-ndf!r cu mnnf( &un s-n nmnntftn mprf urrnlf( *n, ln ncfst fnpt fu nncn nu m-nm gndnt, fu ntutdfnunn m-nm trfznt n nrnflf tntlun mfu! *nr - cf n!fn fl df-n fncf cu tuntf ncfstfn( Fl n-n dnt ncfnst pusnnnlntntf. *rngustfn sn pfntru tnnf, fn n fust funrtf putfrnnc. Fn n-n pfrmns u stnrf df !nnrnnf, n cnrf n-n fust pusnnnl, s prsftn curpul tu n s n ungn ln nn!flul nustru. Fr cu!nt fu l-nm prn!nt. %pnrntul fstf ntr-ndf!r un prnnzunnfr nl curpulun, dnr cnd dunrmf ncfstn, puntf spnrntul s-l prsfnsc n puntf nntrn n nn znsn sffr nstrnl. %ffrn nstrnl fstf sffrn spnrntunl, cnrf n fstf curpulun fnznc cfl mnn nprupnnt, ndnc prnn nltf cu!nntf, cfl mnn us nn!fl spnrntunl. *uhul nu dunrmf nncnudnt. $un nu-n trfnunf u pnuz df udnhn cn n curpulun. Nunptf fstf n mnn nctn!, ntuncn cnd puntf s fug dnn strmtunrfn curpulun. Nn sunt n fnfcnrf nunptf muln unmfnn .pf drum/. *unr c dnn mutn!f prfcnsf fstf cunutnnn nchns, n df rfgul nu mnn f,nst nmnntnrn dnmnnfnn. +nsflf nr putfn f,plncn multf, dnc umfnnrfn nu nr fn nn df unrn. Multf !nsf nu sunt hnlucnnnnn n nu pru!nn dnn suncuntnfnt. %unt df fnpt mnn mult nntf trnrn, cnrf sunt ndusf df spnrnt dnn sffrn nstrnl, n cnrf - df multf urn dunr dfzurdunntf n frngmfntntf - n gsfsc drumul n cuntnfntul nustru. Muln nu !nsnt rudf cnrf nu dfcfdnt snu cunutnnnf, ln cnrf fn nncn nu s-nu mnn gndnt! %nu muln nu prnmnt n !ns drumurn dfsfnntf, dup cnrf fn nu cutnt mult !rfmf, snu rfzul!rn pfntru prunlfmf, ln cnrf fn lucrnu! Funrtf multf nn!fnnn sf fnc n .!ns/. *fcn cf rul s nnn ntuncn suncuntnfntul( %nu cn nu !nsnt df n df ntmplrn, cnrf s-nu ndf!frnt n scurt tnmp( )f rul s nnn ntuncn tutun suncuntnfntul( 0n sffrn nstrnl sf tfrg nnrnfrflf ntrf prfzfnt, !nntur snu trfcut. +un nu ! putfn nmngnnn, dfunrfcf tnmpul fstf un fnctur df nftrfcut pf pmnt, n nnmfnn nu-n puntf fncf fn. *nr ncfst lucru fstf !nlnnnl dunr pfntru mntfrnf. &fntru duh nu f,nst tnmp n tfrmfnul !ustru. ' sfcund pf pmnt puntf nsfmnn pfntru un duh u !fnncnf, n u mnf df nnn pmntftn put trfcf pfntru fl ntr-u clnp. *unr mntfrnn dfpnndf df tnmp. )hnnr n !nnturul nu fstf u cunncndfn ntt df mnrf, nn cum muln crfd. %f ntmpl tutul dup nnumntf lfgn n sf puntf sucutn nprunpf f,nct dnn trfcut. Nu cu crnlf df tnrut snu prnn cntnrfn mnnnn, cu tuntf c nnumntf nndncnn sf put gsn. )cn spnrntul f!ndfnfnz curpul, nn sfmnflf spnrntunlf cnrf sunt dfsfurn ffncnfntf pfntru !nntur, sf gsfsc pf curp. 0n pnrtf puntf fncf multf nfnrmnnn !nlnnnlf nstrulugnn. Nu nstrulugnn pfntru ntrfngn lumf. Fn fstf !nlnnnl cfl mult pfntru rndurnlf df nrf nlf unur nlustrntf. Nu, nstrulugnn cusmnc, cnrf puntf nflfgf nsfmnrnlf spnrntunlf nlf stflflur! %tflflf nu u mnrf nnflufn nsuprn !unstr. Numnn c nncn nu fstf nn cn pfstf tut- cf nu puntf !fdfn snu trn umul, nu crfdf. ) lunn nrf u nnflufn, ncfst lucru fstf df nfcuntfstnt. Ncfst lucru l puntf !fdfn fnfcnrf ln !nlurnlf mrnn. )hnnr n fnptul c f,nst muln dfpfndfnn df lun, fstf df nfcuntfstnt. *fcn, dnc u mnc lun rfuftf, s pruduc nstffl df schnmnrn, s nu nnn unrf nncn un fffct stflflf nfnmngnnnt df mnrn nlf unn!frsulun nsuprn pmntulun( Nnnfnflfs, lunn fstf mnn nprunpf# dnr stflflf nu nn u mrnmf mnrf, c n ln u dnstnn mnrf nu tutun nnflufn. )hnnr ncum nu ncfput s gndfnsc nltffl nstrulugnn !utrn. Nntrf tnmp sunt cunuscutf cnncn sutf df stflf nn znsf Funsnrf, dnn cnrf cfl mnn mnc, dup spusflf unmfnnlur df tnnn df ln NN%N, fstf mnn mnrf dfct cflf u sut df mnlnnrdf df stflf dnn snstfmul !ustru sulnr! &un tu s-n nchnpun nn cf!n( *nr ncfstfn sunt nc pnftrf mncn n unn!frsul nfmrgnnnt. )flf mnn mnrn stflf nu u mrnmf df mnn multf trnlnunnf df nnn lumnn! %-n nchnpun nn cf!n, fstf chnnr n pfntru nun funrtf grfu. n ncfstfn s nu nnn !rfu nnflufn, dnc mncn lun fstf n stnrf, s rndncf cu cn!n mftrn mnrfn urnn( $n mn urntntfn lumnn fstf grfnt ncfputul gndnrnn. Nu fstf nn, c m ntfnpt un !nntur ffrncnt, dunr c sunt dnn grffnl nscut n zudnn nnn snu cfnlnlt. Fstf nprunpf nn!frs. Nnmfnn nu sf nntf dnn grffnl. "untf nntfrnlf sunt cnlculntf cu f,nctntntf. n ntuncn ! nntfn sun u nnumnt cunstflnnf df stflf, dfunrfcf nnflufnn lur uffr f,nct ncfn nmprf urnrf df !nn, cnrf fstf nfcfsnr pfntru crftfrfn !unstr n cnrf ! puntf n utn. *nc cnnf!n nrf cununtfn ncfstfn n fstf n stnrf, s cntfnsc cu .ndf!rnt/ stflflf, puntf nflfgf multf mnn nnnf. *fcn - pfntru nun fstf cu mult mnn uur. )cn tutul cf n fust, n tutul, cf rfnfsf, fstf scrns n crnnlf spnrntunlf. )hnnr n fnptflf n nnflufnflf nlf cflun mnn ndfprtnt trfcut, dfsprf cnrf df f,fmplu nu put dn nncn u nnfurmnnf stflflf. "utun rmnf pfntru prfzncfrfn !nnturulun unflf lucrurn cnrf nu put fn tnutf, dnn cnuzn c ncfstfn nu df-n fncf cu pruprnn !unn lnnfr n fnfcrunn. Ncfstf crn spnrntunlf - n rfnlntntf nu sunt nntf crn, cn dunr furmf df fnfrgnf, cnrf put fn cntntf df cfl cnrf durftf - plutfsc prnn tuntf sffrflf spnrntunlf. *nr dunr n cfn mnn nnlt sffr fstf cumplft nnfurmnnn. 0n sffrn nstrnl f,nst dunr frngmfntf. )unutnnf n ndf!rurn nnltf n spnrntunlf nu sf put gsn nculu. 0n ncfn sffr sf put ntlnn df f,fmplu muln dfcfdnn, cnrf nu nu rfunt s urcf ntr-u sffr mnn nnlt. *urnnflf n pntnmnlf lur, df cnrf nu scnp nncn nculu, gndnrfn lur mntfrnnl n crfdnnn lur slnn n mpnfdnc. %ffrn nstrnl fstf nc lucul df unc n multur spnrntf nfcurntf n rflf, n chnnr n mn urntntfn unmfnnlur sf mnc nunptf prnn ncfn sffr. ) df multf urn nu nfsf nnmnc nntflngfnt dnn tuntf ncfstfn, tf pun gndn tu cu sngurnn. *nr multf cumnrf n nu nncn rdcnnnlf, ccn dfsfurn sf ntmpl lucrurn grunznncf n ncfnst sffr spnrntunl cfn mnn uns. n ncfstf lucrurn n crnufsc drumul n cuntnfnt sun furm df cumnrf. 0n ncfnst sffr sf unt mn urntntfn dnn !zturnn !utrn. Fn sfnmn cu nntf unmfnn cnrf nu !d dfluc nnnf, cnrf nu punrt uchflnrn n ncfnrc, s dfscrnf un pfnsn ntnns. &umnn n tufnurnlf dnn fn lf mnn put !fdfn, puntf c n cunturul munnnlur. *nr nncnudnt mnnunntflf pdurn n munnn frumun, flurnlf n nnnmflflf n fundnl. Fn unsfr! dunr frnturn n crfd c nu !zut tutul. Fn nccfpt tutul, fr s fnf n stnrf, s rfcununsc cf fstf ndf!r snu mnncnun. Fn crfd c tutul fstf ndf!rnt, dnn cffn cf !d. Nndncnn pf plnn mntfrnnl snu pfrsunnl

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sf put gsn ctf!n. n ctf!n fnptf cf sf !ur ntmpln. Muln !zturn nu succfs, dnr rnrfurn ntuncn, cnd fstf !urnn df lucrurn spnrntunlf. *unr frnturn sf put ndugn. &f 7rnstus snu pf ngfrnn %n nu n !n gsn nnmfnn nncn . Nprunpf n tuntf fdnnflf spnrntunlf sf ntmpl n ncfnst sffr. *uhurn unsf, n pnrtf n spnrntf rflf snu nn znsf duhurn mnncnnunsf, cnrf sf nucur rfgftf, ntuncn cnd cnnf!n n crfdf, sf dnu dfsfurn cn fnnnd spnrntf nnltf, snu chnnr ngfrn mrfn. Nnnfnflfs, sf mnn gsfsc n ctf!n ndf!rurn, ccn u nnumnt cunutnn pusfd n fn, n fn put, dnc fstf !urnn df cfn dfcfdnn, s spun lucrurn unmntunrf dnn trfcut. *unr - sunrflf nu l-nu !zut fn. Fn trfnunf s sf mulumfnsc cu ntunfrncul snu cu dunr punn lumnn. n prnn ncfnstn df!nnf !zul un uc df rulft. &f lng ncfnstn fstf ncfst ffl df spnrntnsm pfrnculus. )fn mnn muln lucrfnz fr scut spnrntunl. *nr un mfdnu trfnunf s sf dfschnd cu tutul, pfntru n stnnnln un cuntncut cu sffrn spnrntunl, fl sf d pur n snmplu pf mnn putfrnn ntunfcntf. )n nu pltnt ncfst lucru cu .!nnn/. *uhul lur s-n ntunfcnt, n fn nu !fgftnt n cflf mnn srncf cundnnn, df multf urn n cmnnf psnhntrncf. *nr nu dunr n sumn snu cn mfdnu sf puntf n ungf ln sffrflf spnrntunlf. )fl mnn nun drum fstf mfdntnnn. 0n mfdntnnf sf put nchndf snmurnlf n fnn lumnn. Mfdntnnn ndnc sf nsfnmn n f,tfrnur cu sumnul, dnr cuntnnnn nu fstf nchns. Mfdntnnn nu fstf pur n snmplu u fdfrf, nn cum sf spunf dfsfurn. Mfdntnnn nu fstf nnmnc pnsn!, cn un lucru nctn!, u pnrf nctn! sprf *umnfzfu, cnrf fstf dunr ntuncn pusnnnl, dnc snmurnlf f,tfrnunrf sf rftrng dnn lumfn f,tfrnunr. )nd urfchfn f,tfrnunr nu mnn nudf nnmnc, ntuncn sf puntf dfz!ultn urfchfn nntfrnunr, tut nn sf puntf ntmpln cu uchnul tu nntfrnur n cu snmul tu pfntru !nnrnnnlf lumnn spnrntunlf. "u tf ntrfnn df n df ln ncfput, df cf n f,plnc fu tuntf ncfstfn. Nnt, mfdntnnn fstf drumul tu. "u nn n uns df n funrtf dfpnrtf. "u n-nn n!nns sfntnmfntflf, nn n!nt rndnrfn, drngustfn n umnlnnn. "u n-nn tfrmnnnt cu nnnf tnmpul df n!nrf, ncum sf tfrmnn n nnnn tn df ucfnncnf. Fu !rfnu s tf n! ncum, cum pun s n ungn prnn mfdntnnf ln sffrflf spnrntunlf n cum pun lucrn spnrntunl. )cn n clnpn df fn nu ftn nc n stnrf, s mfrgn snngur drumul pn ln mnnf. %-n ndrfpn gndurnlf sprf *umnfzfu n sprf mnnf, ncfst lucru ftn unnnunt s-l fncn. *nr cffn cf tu nc nu tnn, su cf nu nn !rut s crfzn cu ndf!rnt- tutul, cf n nmngnnfzn, fstf ndf!rnt! )u ct mnn mult tf gndftn, cu ct mnn mult f,frsfzn, cu ct mnn nntfsn! n nmngnnfzn, cu ntt mnn ndf!rnt n mnn ffncnfnt fstf ncfst lucru. Fstf un cnpntul mnrf. Fu !rfnu s ncfrc, s-n f,plnc nf cf fstf cfl mnn nmpurtnnt. 4 $n ncfput frn )u!ntul n )u!ntul frn ln *umnfzfu n *umnfzfu frn )u!ntul. Ncfstn frn ntru ncfput ln *umnfzfu. "untf prnn Fl s-nu fcut# n fr Fl nnmnc nu s-n fcut dnn cf s-n fcut. Nntru Fl frn !nn n !nnn frn lumnnn unmfnnlur. 'nul dnntrf cfn mnn mnrn mnstncn, Nunn F!nnghflnstul, ncfpf nstffl F!nnghflnn sn. n nsfmnrn sf gsfsc ln cflf mnn multf rflngnn n scrnpturnlf lur sfnntf. "rducturnn !utrn nn Nnnlfn nu sf put ns ntr-ndf!r mulumn cu cffn, cf fn cntfsc. Nununfn )u!nt - lugus, cum sf numftf fn n grfnc - n fust schnmnnt n sfns. Ncfnstn nr fn un snnunnm pfntru 7rnstus! )n du!nd pfntru ncfst lucru fstf prupuznnn, cnrf st scrns ctf!n rndurn mnn us- n )u!ntul s-n fcut trup n s-n sllunt ntrf nun. Nnnfnflfs c nncn fstf !urnn dfsprf 7rnstus, dnr dnn ncfnst cnuz 7rnstus nu fstf )u!ntul. "rfnunf numnn s sf mfnrg nnpun ln tf,tul grfcfsc dnn ncfputurn. Nunn n-n scrns dunr F!nnghflnn sn n Grfcnn pfntru flf!nn sn grfcn, n cnnf nr !fnn ntr-ndf!r pf ndffn, c ntuncn cnd fl scrnf un tf,t df n!tur, s fulusfnsc prnntrf, cn !nrnnnf pfntru 7rnstus, nununfn )u!ntul( Ncfnstn tutun n-u puntf nnmfnn prfsupunf n sfrnus! Nu! Grfcfscul lugus, pf cnrf l fulusftf Nunn nncn, nrf, cf-n drfpt, n sfmnnfncnnn df )u!ntul, nntfrprftnrfn lun df nnz fstf ns putfrfn gndurnlur! Numnn c grfcnn nu fust n ncfnst prn!nn cf!n mnn dfpnrtf dfct umul mudfrn, culturnznt. Fn tnnu c gndurnlf n cu!nntflf npnrnn strns lnulnlt. )u!ntul fstf ntr-ndf!r numnn fncfrfn nuznt n gndulun. 0n cffn cf prn!ftf rfnlntntfn lun, nu sf schnmn nnsulut nnmnc! Nunn !rfn dfcn s spun- putfrfn gndurnlur fstf tutul! Fn sf nfl ln ncfput, n fr fn n-nr fn nnmnc! "untf lf-n fcut *umnfzfu numnn prnn putfrfn %n n gndurnlur! n n Nnsus 7rnstus n df!fnnt !nznnnl ncfnst putfrf pfntru nun- n )u!ntul s-n fcut trup. Ncfnstn nu nsfnmn ns nnmnc nltcf!n, dfct c nun tun, tunt fpturn lun *umnfzfu, suntfm numnn gndurnlf %nlf. Fl nf-n gndnt numnn pf nun, n cu tuntf nstfn suntfm nun tutun rfnlntntf. Ncfnstn fstf ntrndf!r n n!turn n nprunpf tuntf rflngnnlf, n n nnsfrncnn crftnnf. n ncfpnd df nncn, nncn nu fstf funrtf grfu, s gsftn cnlfn cfn curfct! Nntrf gndurnlf lun *umnfzfu n gndurnlf unun ngfr snu um nu f,nst nncn u dnffrfn sfmnnfncntn!! Numnn ncffn, c gndurnlf lun *umnfzfu sunt nfmrgnnnt df mult mnn putfrnncf dfct cflf nlf mflf snu nlf tnlf. &rnn ncfnstn put flf ntr-ndf!r s n nfptunnsc cu nn df mult mnn mult, .s mplnnfnsc/. n, n cuntrnrnul ncfstun fnpt, !n putfn n un um slnn cu gndurnlf snlf slnnf s nfptunnsc numnn punn. Ncfnstn nsfnmn ns n fnptul c, cu ct mnn mult n nculfzn duhul tu, cu ct mnn tnrf df!nnf duhul tu, cu ntt mnn mult !fn putfn tu nfptun. n ntuncn n!fm df n cf nf-nm prupus! Nu rmnf dfcn nnmnc nltcf!n df fcut, dfct s nntrfnfzn duhul n s-l ntrftn. Ndf!rntf schnmnrn, !nlurn cnrf rmn put fn numnn prnn duh crfntf. "unt mntfrnn fstf trfctunrf, ncfst fnpt n fstf tutun fnfcrunn zn df zn ndus n fnn uchnlur! Nu-n !n fn nf prfn grfu, pfntru c tu ftn funrtf nnnf prfgtnt! &rfnn ln tnnf fnfrgnf n rugcnunf, lns-u pf ncfnstn s curg n gndurnlf tnlf n gndftf-tf ntuncn nntfnsn! ln cffn, cf trfnunf s df!nn rfnlntntf. *nc tu

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!rfn s n ungn ln mnnf, ntuncn nmngnnfnz-n nntfnsn! pfrsunnn mfn n ncfnst mprf urnmf, nn df lnmpfdf, pn cf !n df!fnn ncfnstn rfnlntntf. n ntuncn ftn tu nncn! Nu cu trupul tu nnnfnflfs. *f ncfln nu fstf nnmfnn nntfrfsnt. "u, ncfstn fstf duhul tu! Fu nm spus udnt- Nun mnn n!fm nf!unf df tnnf. "u nu n-nn putut f,plncn pn ncum ncfst lucru. tnn tu ncum ncfnstn( Ncun tf !un n!n n nstn. Nnsus 7rnstus s tf rfnn n mnlustn!nrfn $un, f nnnf nstn n f,frsfnz hnrnnc n !nnu ncun nnrn. Nstn n fust nprunpf prfn mult dnntr-u dnt. &f mnnf m durfn cnpul. Fu nm n!ut nf!unf df ctf!n znlf, pnn cf nm prflucrnt n nm nflfs tutul. &n dn, dfstul tnmp nm n!ut fu ntr-ndf!r. n n mfrs mnn nnnf, dfct m-nm gndnt fu. Fu fusfsfm dunr df n df mult tnmp unnnunt .s dfcunfctfz/. *nc fu nu !runnm, pur n snmplu nu ngnm nnmnc df sfnm dfsprf cffn, cf sf ntmpln n urul mfu. &fntru mfdnul ncun urtur nl mfu sf nrtn sntunnn nn, df pnrc n durmn, n fl m lsn n pncf. Nncn nu sf mnrn df ncffn nnmfnn, c fu .durmfnm/ dnntr-u dnt u umtntf df zn, frnu dunr numnn funrtf punnn, cnrf sf purtnu cu mnnf nurmnl. Fu !rfnu s spun cu ncfst lucru, c numnn punnn n rflnnn cu mnnf rfncnunnu ntr-un mud tut nn df nnturnl, cn n cum nr n!fn un um sntus n fnn lur. )fn mnn muln sf gndfsc ntutdfnunn, dfunrfcf nu fn un hnndncnpnt n fnn lur, c nr trfnun s fnf pfstf msur df ntfnn, s sf gndfnsc ln tuntf funrtf f,nct, dnn cffn cf fn fnc n spun. *nr ncfnstn nu fstf un lucru nnturnl, n un hnndncnpt !rfn s fnf trntnt tut nn df nurmnl, cn n fnfcnrf nltul. Fl unsfr! fnfcnrf nfsngurnn, fnfcnrf fzntnrf, fnfcnrf nchndfrf n uchnlur n rndncrf dnn umfrn. Fstf df nsfmfnfn u frunrf s crfzn, c un surdu-mut n-nr rfmnrcn nnmnc, numnn pfntru c fl nu puntf nuzn nnmnc. %nu un hnndncnpnt mnntnl, pfntru c fl dunr nu puntf gndn lnmpfdf. Ncfnstn puntf fn, dnr s snmt put tun - n nnumf cfl mnn ndfsfn mult mnn nnnf dfct unul sntus! n fl unsfr! cu ndf!rnt ntr-ndf!r, dnc sf !urnftf nurmnl dfsprf fl snu dnsprfuntur snu cumptnmntur. n fncf nnnf, s fnn trntnt nurmnl. Nndnr, n urncf cnz nu sf cunturnn nnmfnn df nstn. Nstffl putfnm fu s mfdntfz urf ntrfgn. Nncn nu mn-n fust grfu, s m cuncfntrfz un tnmp punn mnn ndflungnt, cu ncfst lucru nm fust fu df n ntr-ndf!r ntutdfnunn unnnunt. Fu mn-nm ndrfptnt gndurnlf nsuprn lun Mnchnfl, ncfrcnm s mn-l nchnpun nntfnsn!. *nc putfnm pn ncum s snmt df n ndfsfn n .stnrfn nurmnl/ prfzfnn lun, ntuncn fu cptnm cu fnfcnrf mfdntnnf mnn nprufundnt un cuntnct mnn strns cu fl. Fu putfnm snmn, cum fl n punfn mnn sn pf nrnul mfu, putfnm s-l nud, ctfudnt df n s n !urnfsc cu fl. Fl m ncurn n tut tnmpul nnrn n m ntrfn. Fl frn tutdfnunn df fn, cnd n!fnm nf!unf df fl. Nntr-ndf!r, n durnt mult tnmp, n prugrfsflf mflf frnu mncn, ns flf frnu cunstnntf. n pfntru n f,frsn n rndnrf, n!usfsfm fu dunr df n dfstul tnmp. Nntr-u zn mn-n spus Mnchnfl- Gndftf-tf tutun u dnt ln mnmn tn, dnr rung-tf mnn ntn. Mnmn m !nzntn fnfcnrf n trfnn sptmn, pfntru c drumul ncuncf durn funrtf mult, n dfunrfcf mnmn nu n!fn mnnn, frn n funrtf cumplncnt cu trfnul n nutunuzul n ultnmn pnrtf pf us. Frn ntutdfnunn frumus, cnd fn frn nncn. Fu u nunfnm, n fn m nccfptnsf ntrf tnmp. Nu frn ntr-ndf!r nc u drngustf ndf!rnt, dnr frn prnftfnnf. 0n ultnmul sfrnt df sptmn n fust fn nncn, n !fnnt cn ntutdfnunn n tnmpul dup-nmnfznn, n mncnt cu mnnf, mn-n cntnt cf!n, mn-n pu!fstnt dfsprf frnnn mfn, pn cf n plfcnt ntuncn sfnrn nnrn ncns. Fu m gndfnm df fnpt ndfsfn ln mnmn, dnr nncnudnt nu mn-n !fnnt n gnd, s u nnclud n pf fn n mfdntnnf. Fu nncn nu tnnm nn df lmurnt, df cf trfnunf s m rug nnnntf df nstn. *nr m-nm unnnunt cu fnptul df n urmn nndncnnnlf lun Mnchnfl n nu mn s-n ntmplnt nncnudnt s nu rfufsc. Nstffl nm fcut n df ncfnst dnt, cffn cf fl m sftunsf. Frn !nnfrn dup-nmnnz. Fu m-nm rugnt ndflung, n-nm mulumnt lun *umnfzfu pfntru drngustfn n n uturul, pf cnrf lf prnmfnm mfrfu n m-nm cufundnt ncun n mfdntnnf ndnc. Fu mn-u nchnpunnm ntfnsn! pf mnmn. +nnfrn ln nmnnz, ntuncn !fnfn fn tutdfnunn df!rfmf ncns df ln lucru, mn-n pu!fstnt fn. n ntuncn nm n !zut-u df n. *n, fu nu !nsnm, fu u !fdfnm ntr-ndf!r. Fn dfschnsf punrtn grdnnnn, mfrsfsf n us pf cnlfn scurt pnftrunt n dfschnsf punrtn cnsfn. Fu m ducfnm nlturn nprunpf df fn n m-nm nfznt lng fn pf cnnnpfnun !fchf. Fn trfnunf s fn fust funrtf unusnt, n urncf cnz ndurmnsf fn ncun. Fu nm ncfput s .!urnfsc/ cu fn, ntuncn s-n ntmplnt cf!n cnudnt. 'n .cf!n/ cn un nur df cfn s-n dfsprnt df trupul fn n plutfn n fnn mfn n ncpfrf, prnntr-u sfunr funrtf sunnrf n nrgnntnf lfgnt df trupul fn. Ncfl .cf!n/ n!fn npru,nmntn! nfnnrfn curpulun fn, punn mnn mnrf puntf n nn df gnngn n trnnspnrfnt cn un !l df mtnsf. 'n tnmp scurt nm mnn rmns fu ln fn n putfnm s dnnlughfz cu duhul fn. Ntuncn nm fust fu dnntr-u dnt nnrn n trupul mfu, trfnunn nnrn s m sunurdunfz lnmntrnn lun. *nr fu frnm ffrncnt. &fntru prnmn dnt nm putut s m dfspnrt cuntnfnt df trupul mfu# cf-n drfpt, numnn pfntru un tnmp scurt, dnr nstn nu fcfn nnmnc. Fu tnnm, c nznutnsfm ncfputul. *f n n znun urmtunrf m-n !nzntnt mnmn. Fn n fcusf nn df multf grn n pfntru mnnf. Fn !nsnsf dfsprf mnnf"u tf-nn dus cu mnnf ln plnmnnrf. Nun nm dnscutnt cn duu prnftfnf dfsprf mud n hnnnf n nltf lucrurn nfnmpurtnntf. Nun nf-nm dus n sus pf un drum nnrupt, pnftrus prnntr-u pdurncf mnc dnn pumn cnudnn. Nsfmfnfn pumn fu nu mnn !zusfm nncnudnt. Fn frnu plnnn df strugurn fructf mncn, df un ruu dfschns, cnrf nrtnu cn scuruflf. Fructflf frnu funrtf frumunsf n unnfurmf, n pf fnfcnrf dnntrf flf, cu tuntf c frnu nn df mncn, frn scrns numflf tu n lntfrf nurnn- Nnrnnrn. 2nmurnlf df us frnu prnn grfutntfn lur nduntf ndnc sprf pmnt, nn nct nun putfnm s n ungfm uur ln flf. $n u mlntnn mnc nm pupusnt nun ntuncn n nm mncnt dnn fructflf tnlf. Flf frnu dulcn ln gust n nu n!fnu nncn u pnntr n nncn smnurf. )nd nn !fnnt tu, nu mn-n mfrs funrtf nnnf. Fu frnm unusnt n n punn nulnn! n m ustfnfnm, s nn pnsul cu tnnf. *f-nnnn tfrmnnnsfm fu ns df mncnt dnn fructf, c nm snmnt, cum u mnrf putfrf sf scurgfn n mnnf. Fu nm df!fnnt dnntr-u dnt funrtf uunr, nprunpf nnpundfrnnnl. *nntr-u dnt s-n npustnt un run mnrf df cuufnnf nfgrf nsuprn nunstr n nsuprn pdurncfn, pfntru n mncn fructflf tnlf. Fu nm df!fnnt funrtf nspmntnt, dnr tu tf-nn rugnt pur n snmplu. n ncfnst rugcnunf s-n pus pfstf nun prutfctunrf cn un cluput. Ntuncn nu !fnnt df ln cfr

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dun !ulturn mrfn, n cu znnfrfturn urtf nu fugnt cuufnnflf df fn. 'nul dnntrf !ulturn n znurnt dnrfct nsprf tnnf, tf-n cuprnns nlnd cu ghfnrflf snlf n tf-n lunt cu fl. "u nn zmnnt ntr-ndf!r n mn-nn fcut nc sfmn cu mnn, dnr fu nu tnnm, dnc nf nu n s-n ntmplnt tutun cf!n. Fu m tfmfnm, c ncfnstn nr putfn nsfmnn nfnurucnrf, df ncffn nm !fnnt fu nmfdnnt nstzn ln tnnf. "cut nm zmnnt fu n snnfmn. Multf !nsf nu nns ln n!fnl dnn suncuntnfnt, mn-n spus Mnchnfl. +nsul n fust u pu!fstf. )unnnutul !nsulun, ncfnstn n fust rfnlntntfn, pf cnrf n culurnt-u suncuntnfntul dunr cu nmngnnn. Frn u frumuns dup- nmnnz df smnt. Mnmn frn funrtf lnnntnt, lumnnnt nntfns df u pncf nntfrnunr. n fn frn sntuns. Mult tnmp nm mnn rmns fu trfnz dup lunrfn df rmns nun df ln fn n nm cugftnt. )um s-n fcut mnmn sntuns( *f undf !fnnsf putfrfn, cnrf n ptruns-u nntfns( ' prfsnmnrf tcut mn-n df!fnnt ncft cuntnfnt. Fu nm !nsnt n ncfnst nunptf dfsprf ffrncnrf n pncf. Fu frnm u pnsrf mnc, uunr n lnnfr, fr grn n. n nstffl m-nm n snmnt fu. 3 *umnncn frn nnsfrncn nfnt dnn cumun df frumus mpudunnt. Frnu rusnlnnlf. %lu nn dn!nn frn funrtf sulfmn. )fn muln mnnnstrnnn, tmnnu, curul nnsfrncfsc cntn u slu n n lntnn. Frn u uscnlnnf npnrtf n nnsfrnc. 2usnlnnlf n-nu fust numnn u dnt pf tnmpul npustulnlur, mn spusf Mnchnfl. Fnfcnrf nn sf rf!nrs duhul lun *umnfzfu dnn nuu pfstf ncfnn, cnrf sunt dnspun, s-l prnmfnsc. Fnfcnrf prfn c snmtf spfcnfncul ncfstfn znlf. $nnntf n pncf frn nculu - n putfrf. &utfrfn unun *umnfzfu nunntur, )nrf u rf!nrs cuntnnuu nsuprn cupnnlur %n n cfrtutudnnfn sngur, c cnd!n n ultnmul !n fn dnspus n n stnrf, s prnmfnsc drngustfn $un. )n df unncfn, fdfnm fu n fn df tut n drfnptn, n fnn prnmflur nncn, n scnunul mfu df nn!nlnd. Fu m lsnm dus df uscnlnnf n df putfrf n m-nm cufundnt n mfsn ul nfnrnn zugr!ntf df dfnsuprn mfn- Nnsus l n!nf pf $nzr dnn murn. Mnchnfl mn-n f,plncnt df n u dnt nsfmntntfn ncfstfnn. $nzr n fust prnmul. )nd!n n !n fn n!nnt Nnsus pf tun cfn .murn spnrntunl/, n !n flnnfrn df durnnflf n lcumnnlf lur mntfrnnlf. Fl n !n flnnfrn dnn dfprtnrfn lur fn *umnfzfu, dnn mputmulnrnlf lur n mntfrnf n df tuntf suffrnnflf, cnrf s-nu furmnt prnn cdfrfn df ln *umnfzfu - munrtfn duhu!nncfnsc. Fl n !n n!nn ln u !nn nuu, ln u !nn n urdnnfn *umnfzfnnsc, ln u !nn, cnrf fstf purtnt df cflf nptf nsunrn nlf lun *umnfzfu- drngustf, !unn, rndnrf, sfrnuzntntf, urdnnf, mnlustn!nrf n nflfpcnunf. Ncfnstn fstf n!nfrfn dnn murn, nnumf dnn murnn spnrntunln. "rupul fstf fr !nlunrf, numnn duhul fstf ncfln, cnrf trnftf. Fu m-nm pnfrdut n prn!nrfn ln nfnnrfn zugr!nt. )ulurnlf nu df!fnnt mnn lumnnunsf, mnn !nn, pftfrn df murmnt trnst n cfdnt n fn!urfn unun lnn nlnd df culnnf, pumn n flurn nu nprut n Nnsus mfrgfn nsprf mnnf. Nu nu frn Nnsus, frn Mnchnfl! Fu rfunsfm! *nn pruprnn putfrf! Mnchnfl s-n untnt ln mnnf. Nu, fnrftf cn nu dnn pruprnn putfrf! Nprunpf n fn df!fnnt fu nnrn ncrfzut. Frn putfrfn lun *umnfzfu, cnrf m purtnsf. Fu trfnunn numnn s cuprnnd frnghnn, pf cnrf Fl u nrunc nuu tut mfrfu, n s m lns trns n sus. *nr pfntru prnmn dnt rfunsfm, s cuprnnd ncfnst frnghnf fr n utur strnn. *rngustfn n smfrfnnn m curnsfr nn df mult, m flnnfrnsfr df nnlnst, cnrf nf nchndf nuu n mud nurmnl cnlfn. Fu frnm pfstf msur df ffrncnt. Frn pfntru mnnf, df pnrc n fn pfntru prnmn dnt ntr-ndf!r nncn. Mnchnfl n pnt ln mnnf. Mulumfsc! Fu n mulumfsc nf. 0ncurcnt m-nm untnt n sus ln fl. *n, fu n mulumfsc nf, c n-nn nsunt n!turnlf mflf, c nn fust un nsfmfnfn flf! nsculttur. )t df dfs suntfm nun rfspnnn, lunn n rs! Nngfrn( Ncftnn sunt tutun numnn n pu!fstf! )t df dfs fstf ustfnfnln nunstr zndnrnnc, ct df dfs sunt rfspnnsf ndrumrnlf nunstrf pur n snmplu n !nt! 0n cfl mnn nun cnz suntfm nun nunn pfntru fnptul, df n prf!fnn nccndfntf n s-n pznm pf unmfnn df .lu!nturn nlf dfstnnulun/. *nr ndrumnrf duhu!nncfnsc( Nu, df ncfnstn nu mnn nu nf!unf unmfnnn nstzn. Fn nu df!fnnt nsfnnnnn n rnnunnln. Fn dumnnnu nnturn n tfhnncn. Fn putfnu chnnr s znunrf pf lun. n ntuncn s sf lnsf cundun cn nntf cupnn mncn( Ncfst lucru nu l puntf cfrf nnmfnn ntr-ndf!r. *f nfmrgnnnt mult rndnrf n drngustfn fstf nf!unf, pfntru cn nnn ntrfgn, dn, puntf u !nn ntrfng, c s lucrn n .zndnr/, s rd pf sfnmn tn n s df!nn u fngurnn dnn pu!ftn. *nr n nuu nf mfrgf cn n !uu pf pmnt. )hnnr n cfn mnn mnc ln!nn df!nnf udnt mnrf. 'dnt !n crftf cffn cf sf sfnmn. 0ntr-u nun zn df!nnf smnn plnnt. )nd, ncfst lucru nu dfpnndf df nun. $n ncfst lucru fu nncn nu m-nm gndnt. Nun dnspfrm df n dup scurt tnmp, ntuncn cnd nu sf !fdf succfsul durnt. )f mrfnf trfnunf s f,nstf ntuncn cnd lucrfzn zfcn df nnn, dn, puntf u !nn ntrfng df um, fr succfsul f!ndfnt( Fr n pnfrdf !rfudnt rndnrfn, fr n pnfrdf drngustfn( 'h ct df stupnzn sunt tutun unmfnnn! "u nu trfnunf s dnspfrn, n nntrnt Mnchnfl n gndurnlf mflf. &f pmnt fstf cu mult mnn grfu. )fn mnn muln unmfnn sunt df prfrf, c !nnn sf sfrftf dup munrtf, n tnmp cf nun n!fm !fnncnn n fnn uchnlur. )hnnr n tnmpul nrf u nlt nsfmnnrf pfntru nun. *fsprf ncfst lucru !fn nflfgf n tu n curnd ctf cf!n. *fcn! *nr, ncum, unt-tf punn mprf ur! Fu nu putfnm unsfr!n cf!n dfusfnnt, frn tutul cn df unncfn. &untf c flurnlf nflurfnu cf!n mnn nntfnsn!, puntf c nnrnn n!fn un mnrus mnn tnrf, puntf c psrnlf cntnu mnn mnnunnt. *nr n rfst( Frn mnn mult lumnn dfct nlt dnt. *n nnnfnflfs, frn mnn lumnnnt! n ntuncn fu l-nm !zut. %us pf cfr sttfn sunrflf n mrnmfn sn

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mrfn. Frn mnn strlucntur dfct mnn df surn pmntftn, n tutun nm putut s m unt dnrfct ln fl dup scurt tnmp. Nu, fu nu m-nm f,prnmnt curfct! %ttfn pur n snmplu pnsn!, pfntru n fmnnn u lumnn, cnrf nu-n npnrnnfn. Nu! Fl frn lumnnn! Fl sf untn ln mnnf! M lumnnn pn n ndncurn - n frn tutun pfstf tut. *n,df ncum nnnntf !n strlucn ntutdfnunn pfntru tnnf. Fstf lumnnn df !fcn, fstf Nnsus 7rnstus, fstf sunrflf %u, cnrf pfntru tnnf nu !n mnn npunf. *nr cum sf puntf, c fu !d sunrflf pfstf tut, fu put s m nturc cum !rfnu, n urncnrf dnrfcnf, n sunrflf fstf tut tnmpul prfzfnt. Nun nm !urnnt df multf urn dfsprf ncfst lucru. 0n lumfn spnrntunl nu f,nst lucrurn, cnrf lf-n crfnt cnnf!n snu cnrf lf-n nfznt, cns, pum, mnnn, flurn snu nnnmnlf - dfunrfcf nu f,nst mntfrnf. &fntru lumfn spnrntunl nu f,nst nncn uchn. 'chnul spnrntunl fstf, chnnr suflftul. "u pun !fdfn dunr cffn, cf fstf n tnnf! Ncum nn tu lumnnn lun Nnsus 7rnstus, nn prnmnt n tnnf drngustfn %n, dfcn prnn urmnrf u pun !fdfn. *nr nnnfnflfs pfstf tut, ccn nu nrf un punct stnnnl pf .cfr/. Fstf n tnnf. n pfstf tut undf ftn tu, fstf n ncfst sunrf. )nnf!n cnrf r!nftf dunr ln lucrurnlf mntfrnnlf, cnrf trnftf dunr pfntru nnnn n pfntru sntnsfncfrfn snmurnlur trupftn, spnrntunlul ncflunn fstf gul. n fl !n putfn !fdfn n lumfn spnrntunl dunr stncn gunlf. Nncn nnrn, nncn u flunrf nu !n putfn !fdfn, dunr frngul n pustnul n gulul n ntunfrncul! )u ct mnn mult drngustfn strngf n fl, cu ntt mnn cnld n mnn prnftfnuns fstf .nnnmn/ sn, dfcn cu ntt mnn cnld n mnn prnftfnuns df!nnf mprf urnrfn sn. Nmprf urnrfn fstf df fnpt u uglnnd n suflftulun! Ncfnstn fstf df fnpt n chfnn sprf rfcununtfrfn .cfrulun n n nndulun/. *umnfzfu nu udfc nncnudnt! Nncnudnt! *rngustfn fstf ntr-ndf!r n stnrf, s nn pf cnnf!n dnn scurt, s trnmnt .lu!nturn df dfstnn/ snu ncfrcrn, dnc flf fulusfsc, s-l n utf s-n schnmnf prfrfn n dnc l n ut s mfnrg un pns mnn dfpnrtf pf drumul spnrntunl. *rngustf mnn fstf n ntuncn, dnc l lu!ftn pf un cupnl pf dfgftf, pfntru n-l scutn df ru, ntuncn cnd ncfnrc pfntru n 9-n unr, s trng df pf sun cnznnul cu np clucutnt. *nr drngustfn nu pfdfpsftf nncnudnt, n n nncn ntr-un cnz pf !fcn. Nu, fnfcnrf sf rspltftf snu sf udfc pf snnf. *rngustfn pf cnrf tu nn strns-u pf pmnt, dftfrmnn stnrfn mprf urrnlur, n cnrf tu tf !fn nfln n lumfn spnrntunl. *rngustfn tf !n cunducf n .cfr/. 'rn ns puntf, cum fstf cnzul n pf pmnt, dfcn n n lumfn spnrntunl, s pru!uncf dunr cfnrt n suffrnnf ntr-un pfnsn pustnu fr lumnn n cldur. Ncfstn fstf .nndul/, n n ncfst nnd sf nfl cnnf!n dunr nttn tnmp, ct npnrnnf fl df ncfstn cu gndurnlf snlf. *nc fl fstf df prfrf, c trfnunf s-$ urnsc pf *umnfzfu pf !fcn, ntuncn sf !n nfln fl pf !fcn n ncfnst stnrf, ndnc n ncfl .nnd/. *nr fl nu fstf nruncnt df *umnfzfu nculu, fstf pur n snmplu dfcnznn sn lnnfr! *nc fl sf schnmn n dnc sf ntunrcf n nntfrnurul su sprf drngustf, ntuncn sf !n schnmnn cunfurm lun pfnsn ul cnrf l ncun unr. Ncfnstn fstf lfgfn. n fn nu sf !n schnmnn nncnudnt, nttn tnmp ct !n f,nstn crfnnn. *nc cnnf!n, cnrf dup gndurnlf snlf nr trfnun s fnf n .nnd/, n fstf ndus n cfrurn, fl nu nr putfn supurtn ncfnstn. Fl nu nr putfn supurtn lumnnn, nr fn cfl mnn mnrf chnn pfntru fl, n fl s-nr nruncn n mnrf grnn nnpun n ntunfrnc. Fstf f,nct nn, cn n cum cnnf!n nr n!fn uchnn sfnsnnnln ln lumnn. Fl nu puntf supurtn lumnnn n sf snmtf nnnf dunr n sfmn-ntunfrnc. *nr cu ct mnn mult sf mnuntftf stnrfn sn , cu ntt mnn mult lumnn puntf supurtn fl. *nr !nnn u nu uchnn, n nu lumnnn! *f ncffn pun !fdfn tu ncum pfstf tut lumnnn lun Nnsus 7rnstus. "u nn n uns ncum nn df dfpnrtf, c pun ncfpf s lucrfzn spnrntunl, pun ncfpf s df!nn u unfnlt n lun *umnfzfu pf pmnt. "u tnn ncum, c tutul cf fstf, cf f,nst, n fust crfnt prnn gnd. )hnnr n pmntul n tut cf f,nst pf ncfstn. $n ncfput n fust cu!ntul, gndul, ndnc fnfrgnf curnt, n ncfnstn s-n ndfsnt nn df tnrf, ntt df .grfu/, cn n df!fnnt mntfrnf. &rnn gndurn sf put crfn tuntf, sf put schnmnn tuntf, snu sf put dnstrugf. Gndurnlf trfnunf s fnf dunr funrtf putfrnncf. Ncfn putfrf u prnmftn tu df ln *umnfzfu. *nr prutf fnz-tf, mnn nlfs ntuncn, cnd n prsftn curpul. &n ncum nu fcut nlnn ncfst lucru. Ncum ns trfnunf s-u fncn snngur. &utfrnlf rflf stnu tut tnmpul ln pnd, n ntuncn cnd n nrn !ulnfrnnnlntntf, lu!fsc ntutdfnunn. &rutf fnz-tf df duu urn, n prnmul rnd prnn rugcnunf, dfunrfcf !nnrnnnlf sf nfnz cn un cluput n urul tu. 0n nl dunlfn rnd- gndftf-tf ln u crucf df lumnn, cnrf st n tnnf, cnrf fstf n curpul tu n cnrf strlucftf pn n f,tfrnur. Gndftf-tf nntfnsn! ln ncfnstn, n fn df!nnf ndf!r n lumfn spnrntunl. F-u dnn lumnn clnr n strlucntunrf. Gndftf-tf c rnzflf cnrf fmnn ncfn crucf, nlung tut cf fstf ru n nfgntn!, dnr ln tut cf fstf nun n puzntn! n crunftf drum sprf tnnf. Ncfn lumnn n-u puntf supurtn nncn un spnrnt ru. *fcn ncfnstn n fust, ln cf s-n rfffrnt fl cu cu!nntflf- Nun mnn n!fm nf!unf df tnnf. *fz!ultnrfn mfn frn df n dfstul df n!nnsnt, ncum n!fnm !unf s n ut pf nlnn. Fu frnm nucuruns, ffrncnt n mulumnt. Mnchnfl m-n mnrnnt. Ncum du-tf n drngustfn lun *umnfzfu, fu sunt mfrfu nlturn df tnnf. Gus df tut nm unsfr!nt fu curpul mfu. Fu plutfnm sun nultn ncpfrnn nltnrulun n sn!urnm uurnnn spnrntulun. Muzncn, rugcnunfn, tutul prfn mnn rfnl, mult mnn !nu. Nncn u durfrf, nncn u grn , nncn un trup .grfu/ nu dfrnn n duhul. Fu nm fzntnt, n dfudnt nm tnut, df cf nu n-n fust dnt fnfcrunn ncfst dnr, df cf n mud nurmnl trfnunf luptnt pfntru ncfnstn. )fn mnn muln nu s-nr ntunrcf nnpun! Fn nu nr schnmnn lnrgul n frumusffn spnrntulun cu strmtunrfn n cu suffrnnflf curpulun. *nr dnc nu mnn !ur s sf rfntunrc, sf rupf cnd!n ncfn frnghnf, cnrf mprfunfnz curpul cu duhul. &rnn ncfnstn munrf trupul, n fn nu mnn nu pusnnnlntntfn, s sf dfz!ultf n cuntnnunrf n s trnnsc, cffn, cf fstf cfl mnn nmpurtnnt, n stnrfn cnrf sf nfl fn. Ntuncn cnd fu mnm nflnt dnn nuu n curpul mfu, m-n lu!nt durfrfn dnn plnn. N durnt u !rfmf, pn cnd fu nm ncfput s-u stpnfsc. %lu nn nu s-n tfrmnnnt nc, n ncfnstn nsfmnn, c fu nm .lnpsnt/ cfl mult u umtntf df ur, dnr dup snmurnlf mflf, nm pftrfcurt nlturn df Mnchnfl mnn multf urf. *fcn ncfnstn frn dnffrfnn dnntrf tnmp. Nncftul cu ncftul nm ncfput s nflfg. ' stnrf df ffrncnrf s-n rspndnt n mnnf, nn cum fu nu nm mnn cunuscut-u. Fu

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nm prnmnt pusnnnlntntfn, s nntru n cuntnct cu lumfn dumnfzfnnsc, n fu nm ncfput, s nunfsc curpul mfu dffurmnt. Fl mn-n uffrnt ncfnst nns. Fr fl nu n fn gsnt cu nttn uurnn ncfst drum. 5 $n mnsn df nmnnz m-n hrnnt Frfd. Frn un nnnt nun, df uptsprzfcf nnn, dnr cu mnntfn unun cupnl df nsf nnn. Frn surdu-mut, n pncnunrflf snlf frnu nfpfnntf, dnr fl frn tut tnmpul prnftfnus, dn puntf c n cumnc. 'nul, cnrf nncnudnt nu sf plngfn. Fl sf ucupn dfsfurn df mnnf, fu frnm cu ntutfnunn cu drng n cumpnnnn sn. &f fl nu-l cunducfnu umnrflf. *fudnt n dnsprut nmngnnfn lun dnn fnn uchnnlur mfn. 'n rfgf sttfn n fnn mfn. Fl fdfn pf un trun df nur, ncun urnt df lnngunturnn, cnrf l !fnfrnu. %nln frn ct sf puntf df frumus nrnn nt. ' mns ffstn! frn nrnn nt, n sfr!nt, tutul frn mnnunnt. Nmngnnnlf sf schnmnnu rfpfdf. Fl prfn s fnf un rfgf ntrn nflfpt n drfpt, tun, cnrf n cfrfnu sfntul, prfnu s fnf mulumnn. Fl trfnunn s fn fust n funrtf dnrnnc, dfunrfcf ntr-u ncpfrf mnrf ln sf ddfn df mncnrf srncnlur n fn prnmfnu hnnnf n nltf lucrurn nmpurtnntf. Fu l !fdfnm cum sf rugn n l !fdfnm mfrgnd ln nnsfrnc. Nnsfrncn frn mnnunnt. Fl sttfn n lu n sn df rfgf n prnmfn cu un zmnft mnlustn! tuntf snlutrnlf slu nturnlur sn. 2ugcnunfn ct n purtnrfn sn nntfrnunr frn .drfnpt/. Fl n utn nnsfrncn dup tuntf putfrnlf snlf n sf mplncn cu tunt fnnnn. *fudnt n nprut un nrnnt, cnrf n stnt nprunpf nf!zut n fundnl. Fl frn snmplu mnrcnt, chnpul su frn ncun urnt df lumnn. Fl n !urnnt- "u ftn un rfgf, pf plncul lun *umnfzfu, nflfpt, drfpt, rndtur n plnn df drngustf. "u nu tf-nn rftrns df ln grfu n nu nn pncnt prnd nspntflur, cnrf !nn u dnt cu putfrfn n cu nugnn. Ncum ftn prfgtnt s n!fn ultnmul n cfl mnn grfu lucru, umnlnnn. Nmngnnnlf n pnfrdfnu culurnlf, n Frfd sttfn dnn nuu n fnn mfn. Fl mn zmnfn n mn-n ngnt n gur u lnngur plnn df snlnt df cnrtufn. Fu putfnm !fdfn prnn fl, putfnm !fdfn spnrntul su n m-nm untnt ntrfntur sprf fl. Fl n dnt dnn cnp n n ncfput s zmnfnsc. Ncum tnnm df cf m snmfnm nn df nnnf n prfzfnn lun. Nun nf nsfmnnm funrtf tnrf n .dfstnnul/ pf cnrf l n!fnm. 3 'rmturul tnmp n trfcut rfpfdf. Fu m rugnm mult n m ndncfnm n mfdntnnf. Fu prnmfnm prnn ncfnstn nn df mult putfrf, c dfsfurn nu mnn snmfnm nncn un ffl df durfrf. Funrtf prfcns sf snmfn cum curgfn !nlul df fnfrgnf pfstf cnp n spntf. Frn, df pnrc n fn stnt ntr-un cnrcunt df curfnt. Mulumnrf, ffrncnrf n pncfn s-nu nnstnlnt, pfntru cn s nu m mnn prsfnsc n !fcn. Nprunpf nncnudnt! Fu putfnm snmn curfntul, cnrf curgfn n sus n n us prnn culunnn mfn !frtfnrnl. Fl sf furmn n rurn mnrn, pfntru n df!fnn cfntrf df putfrf n rfzfr!f df fnfrgnf. Fu m gndfnm ln u crucf dnn lumnn strlucntunrf, cnrf frn nlnmfntnt df ncfstf cfntrf. )um mn-n spus Mnchnfl, frn tut tnmpul nculu, cnd fu mn-u nmngnnnm. )u tuntf ncfstfn nm fust surprnns, cnd dup un tnmp nm putut ntr-ndf!r s !d ncfn crucf. *f n df mnn mult !rfmf nm unsfr!nt, c umnrflf cflurlnn, ntuncn cnd !fnfnu sprf mnnf, sf ddfnu nnpun cn n curfntnn n nu putfnu s sf nprupnf mnn tnrf df mnnf. Ncum !fdfnm, c ncfst lucru sf dnturn crucnn. 2nzflf fn mpnngfn umnrflf nnpun. Nn nm putut s mnn unsfr!, c muln cupnn df!fnfnu mnn lnnntnn n nprupnfrfn mfn. )hnnr n surflf, cnrf frnu .nfcumfstnnnlf/, df!fnfnu n nprupnfrfn mfn mult mnn pnnncf. )hnnr n ndmnnnstrntunrfn n rfunt n ultnmn !rfmf, s !urnfnsc cu mnnf snu s-mn ntunrc pngnnnlf crnn mflf. *n, prfn chnnr s-n fnc plcfrf, s stfn un tnmp n nprupnfrfn mfn. Ncum tnnm fu n df cf! 3 Nntr-u dnmnnfn n ncfput Nfn nmnn s fnc u crnz. Fl lu!fn cu cnpul fr ntrfrupfrf zndul, nprunpf c nncn nu putfnn s prn!ftn n ncfn dnrfcnf. Fl n!fn dfsfurn ncfstf crnzf. )urpul nu n frn dfluc dffurmnt n df multf urn prfn s fnf ct sf puntf df nurmnl. F!ndfnt frnu dunr uffrtflf snlf f,ngfrntf df n utur, n tnmp cf frn ntt df nfndfmnntnc, c fnfcnrf, dnc frn pusnnnl, rfnunn ln n uturul lun, n ncfst lucru l fcfn s fnf funrtf trnst. %nmurnlf snlf rfcfpnunnu df fnfcnrf dnt ncfnstn. *f n tut ln ctf!n znlf n!fn ncfstf crnzf. *f unncfn durnu u ur pnn ln duu urf n l unusfnu. *up ncffn sttfn urf n nr n suspnnn, dnr nu prfn s nnn durfrn mnrn. *f dntn ncfnstn frn cn un nnnmnl slnntnc. )n n mncn spnrndun sttfnu nfnumrntf umnrf pf cfnfn sn n l lu!fnu cu pumnn n l nnu. Nnmfnn nu putfn s-l lnnntfnsc, pn cnd dfudnt mn-n trfcut prnn mnntf u ndff. Fu nm nfznt n nntfrnurul lun u crucf df lumnn, mn-nm chnpunt-u ct sf puntf df nntfnsn! n nm nlnmfntnt-u cu gndurnlf mflf cu fnfrgnf. Fu putfnm !fdfn, cum df!fnfn dnn cf n cf mnn mrfn, pn cnd n strlucnt pfstf tut. 'mnrflf sf mputrn!fnu, m nmfnnnnu, dnr nu frnu dfstul df putfrnncf. *f nnnnu n-nu pnfrdut n ultnmul fchnlnnru, n Nfn nmnn n df!fnnt dnn nuu lnnntnt. Fl n fust unusnt n suspnnn ncft. &fntru prnmn unr nm df!fnnt cuntnfnt df putfrfn spnrntulun. n putfrfn, cnrf u n!fnu ncfstf fnnnf, ct n putfrfn pf cnrf u putfnm fulusn mputrn!n lur. 0n f,tfrnur nu n unsfr!nt nnmfnn nnmnc. F!ndfnt frn cfl mult fnptul, c crnzn lun Nfn nmnn s-n tfrmnnnt nn df rfpfdf. Fu nm fust nfschnmnnt n f,tfrnur. *nr m-n custnt mult putfrf. Fu frnm unusnt, n n durnt mnn multf urf, pn cnd nm fust n stnrf, s m umplu cu fnfrgnf prnn cnlfn mfdntnnfn. *f

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nnnn dup duu znlf mn-nm rf!fnnt cu tutul! &unn nfncfrfztunrf nm fust tutun, ntuncn cnd Mnchnfl mn-n pu!fstnt dfsprf luptn spnrntflur. Ncum ns nm trnt, ct df rfnl fstf ncfnst lupt, cu cf putfrf trfnunf ndus ln nun sfrnt. Fu n-nm mulumnt lun Mnchnfl, c mn-n dnt nmpulsul curfspunztur. Mnn lun prfn s sf pun cu tnndrff pf umrul mfu. Ncfstn n fust ncfputul, mn-n spus. )u tnmpul !fn n!n s lupn, fr s tf unusftn. *nr s nu df!n supfrfncnnl, s-n prn!ftn tut tnmpul n sfrnus! Fu m-nm nucurnt c frn nlturn df mnnf, n nn nm ndurmnt rfpfdf. Frn ntunfrnc n rfcf. &frfnn nfcnulun suntfrnn frnu umfzn. "rfn nrnnn nprunpf dfznrcnn frnu prnnn cu lnnurn df pfrftf. )hnpurnlf lur frnu plnnf df tfrunrf, unulnnnn n nltf ruztunrf lf-nu mncnt df n pncnunrflf. Npru,nmntn! dnn duu n duu sfcundf pncnu strupn df np pf cnpftflf lur dnntr-u fn! cunstrunt pfntru ncfst lucru. Fr ntrfrupfrf! Hnlf ntrfgn! %ptmnn ntrfgn! 'n nrnnt sttfn n fnn lur n zmnfn n dnrfcnn lur. "ut mfrgfn sprf runnnftul cu np, f!ndfnt n!nd nntfnnn s-l uprfnsc, pfntru n sf putfn nucurn dnn nuu, ln sclnpnrfn df spfrnn, cnrf n lumnnnt dnn uchnn fr f,prfsnf, pfntru n fn nlucunt dnn nuu df tfrunrf. *fudnt s-n nturs turnunnrul, nn cn fu s-n put !fdfn dnn plnn fnn. Fu nm znnfrnt df grunz. Frn Nfn nmnn! Mult tnmp n durnt n ncfn nunptf pn cnd fu nm ndurmnt dnn nuu. "ut tnmpul nu nprut dnn nuu ncfstf nmngnnn ngruzntunrf. *f cf( Fu nu putfnm s cfrcftfz ncfnstn n prufunznmf. Nncn un nnnnnl nu fstf cnpnnnl s chnnunf un nltul. Nncn mcnr pnsncn, cnrf sf unc cu unrfcflf, nu fncf ncfnstn dnn plcfrf, cn numnn dnn nnstnnct, pfntru c, cnrnfn fstf mnn dulcf ln gust dup ncffn. $n ncfnstn fstf unrfcflf ns nn df pnrnlnznt, c fl nu mnn snmtf nnmnc. )um puntf un um s nfptunnsc nn cf!n! )um puntf un um s sf nucurf df chnnurnlf nltunn! )f ffl df ndfprtnrf df ln *umnfzfu fstf nfcfsnr pfntru ncfst lucru! *nr *umnfzfu nu rfspnngf pf nnmfnn. Nncn pf ncftn unmfnn. )f ffl df mn luncf sunt nfcfsnrf, pfntru n dfschndf uchnn unur nsfmfnfn unmfnn, pfntru n lf fncf lnmpfdf grffnln fnptfn lur( % nprfcnfz ncfnstn, nu put! Numnn un snngur lucru l tnu sngur- Nu sunt nncnudnt pfdfpsf! )hnnr dnc n uchnn nftnuturn n nfncrfzturn nn lumnn nrnt ncfnstn nc funrtf mult nstffl. Nu sunt nncnudnt pfdfpsf, numnn ncurdrn df n utur, cnrf nrnt sprf dnrfcnn curfct, dnc cnnf!n fstf dnspus, s sf cunfurmfzf n s prfnn mfsn ul lur. Nstffl !rfn umul s sf fnc udfctur pfstf *umnfzfu. Fl sf snmtf nlfstfmnt snu cfl punn trntnt nfdrfpt n l n ur dnn cnuzn .pfdfpsfn/ grflf, pf cnrf n pus-u *umnfzfu nsuprn lun. $n ncfnstn numnn c nu fstf fl n stnrf, s !nd nuntntfn nfmrgnnnt n lun *umnfzfu, cnrf n fncf nstffl df-nnnn pusnnnl, s gsfnsc cnlfn curfct n tutun s-n pstrfzf !unnn lun lnnfr. Ncfnstn fstf mnrfn dnfncultntf. *nc n-nr fn !unnn lnnfr, ntuncn nr fn pfntru *umnfzfu un lucru uur, s-l nn pf ncfstn ln Fl ntr-u sfcund, fr suffrnn, fr chnn. *nr Fl nr fn dnstrus cu ncfnstn duhul su lnnfr pfntru tutdfnunn, nr fn fcut u fnnn lnnfr s df!nn un scln!. )nnf fstf n stnrf, s pfnsc pf cnlfn cfn ngust, cnrf ducf prnntrf dfcnznn lnnfr n !unnfn n nndmnsnnnln nnflufnnrf( )nnf puntf nprfcnn ncfnst drumfnf pf muchnf n cnnf puntf s fnc crntnc ln ndrfsn mn luncflur, pf cnrf *umnfzfu lf nng n lupt( *nc unul, crunn fu n ntnnd mnn, pfntru c n czut n np, nu !rfn s cuprnnd ncfnst mn dnn ngmfnrf, ntuncn fu tutun nu sunt df!nn, dnc fl sf lupt cu nnfcul. &fntru unul, cnrf plfnc dfpnrtf, puntf prunnnnl s pnr nn, df pnrc fu l-nm rfspnns. Numnn cfl cnrf st nprunpf puntf s mrturnsfnsc cuntrnrnul. *f cf nu-l crfdf nnmfnn( )upnlul puntf fn suprnt pf mnn, cnrf l trngf rfpfdf n dur dnn fnn mnnnnn cnrf sf nprupnf. ) fl n dnturfnz ncfstfn mnn !nnn, tnf numnn cfl cf !fdf - n cfl crfdnncnus. 3 Nfrn n murnt surn Grncnn. *f un tnmp ndflungnt fusfsf fn nunn!, fr s sf fn plns !rfudnt chnnr numnn punn. Fu tnnm, c fn n!fn durfrn putfrnncf, fu putfnm s-n !d nntfrnurul suffrnnd, cffn cf f,tfrnurul fn nscundfn smfrnt. "ut cf fcfn fn, frn u rugcnunf. "ut cf fcfn fn, fcfn fn pfntru *umnfzfu. Nntutdfnunn sf nfln fn ntr-u lfgtur duhu!nncfnsc cu Fl n n mulumfn pfntru suffrnnn, pf cnrf Fl n-u trnmnsfsf. n ntutdfnunn n!fn fn tnmp, n tutdfnunn gsfn fn cu!nntf nlnnttunrf pfntru fnfcnrf. *f n nnnntf cu u sptmn prf!zusf fn munrtfn fn. 'n ngfr n !fnnt ln fn n n-n spus- +nnu, "ntl tf ntfnpt! Nngfrul n-n mnn prsnt-u n ncfnst sptmn, n prfgtnt-u pfntru !nnn nuu, munrtfn trupulun n .nntfrfn/ duhulun. )u trfn urf nnnntf df munrtfn fn n lunsf fn rmns nun df ln tun, l rugnsf umnl pf prfut pfntru n u spu!fdn. 'ltnmflf fn cu!nntf sunnu cn u ntrnrf prnn urmnt- *rngustfn lun *umnfzfu fstf sfcrftul %u. %fcrftflf nu nu nncnudnt unncfnul s sf nflf pf us, pf strnd. *nr fnfcrunn, cnrf !nnf ln Fl n l rung pfntru ncfstfn, n fncf cunuscutf ncfstf sfcrftf. 2ul n ncunnt un ln cnmfrn $un cu trfn ncunfturn. )hfnlf ln ncfnstn sunt- drngustfn, smfrfnnn n rndnrfn. )u punn tnmp nnnntf df munrtfn fn nu nprut nln dun ngfrn. Fn nu lunt duhul fn df suflft n mn lucul lur n lnu rpnt, ctrf lumnn. ' dnstnn scurt nm putut fu s-n ncumpnnnfz, ntuncn nu dnsprut fn. Ncfnst nlnmf nc n-u putfnm urcn. &nsrfn n fust nnrn lnnfr# nsunt df trfn !ulturn n znurnt fn pn n cfl mnn nnlt cfr. Fn nu sf mnn ngrn fn df cucn munrt, pf cnrf tun u plngfnu. 3

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Mnmn frn dfsfurn ln mnnf. *f un tnmp m !nzntn fn nprunpf fnfcnrf spmn. Fu frnm df nsfmfnfn ndfsfn ln fn n duh, !urnfnm mult cu fn, n ddfnm putfrf. Fu putfnm s n nzgunfsc umnrflf, cnrf u chnnunnu. $n ncfput df fnfcnrf dnt dnn nuu. )u tnmpul prfn fffctul s durfzf tut mnn mult, pn cf flf s-nu rftrns ntr-u nun zn pf dfplnn. *rngustfn crfscusf n fn n furmn mprfun cu rugcnunfn u nfurnrf prutfctunrf n urul fn. Nntrndf!r n fust fn tut tnmpul nnrn cunturnnt df ncfstf duhurn rflf, cnrf u nfc fnu cu ntncurnlf lur n cu dunnnlf lfn, dnr s sf stnnnlfnsc nu mnn putfnu flf. n drngustfn tntlun nfptunsf udnt ncflnn lucru n n prucurnsf ndfsfn lnnntf pfntru un tnmp scurt, urf, n cnrf fn frn funrtf ffrnct cu tntn. % nngf df sfnm tuntf ncfstfn nu putfn mnmn. *nr fn snmfn lfgturn, pf cnrf u cunstrunsfm ctrf fn. Fn l-n prflunt ncum pf *umnfzfu n !nnn fn, gsnsf n sfrnt cf!n pncf. *nr trfcutul fn u chnnunn mfrfu. 2fpruurnlf u fcfnu s suffrf. Nntr-u dup nmnnz s-n prnunt fn, plngnd. Fu n-nm fcut nf n tntlun !nnn nn df grfn. Fu nm fust nn df fr drngustf n fgunst )um s put fu s ndrfpt ncfnstn !rfudnt( )u ct df mult drng n-n fn nnut ncum mnmfn un dnscurs lung dfsprf drngustfn lun *umnfzfu, cnrf nu trfnunf nncnudnt s nfrtf, pfntru c fn n-n ncuznt nncnudnt. *nr pfntru ncfst fnpt nu frnm fu n stnrf. )tf!n gndurn nlnnttunrf putfnm fu s-n fnc nflfsf, n ncfnstn mfrgf df n dfstul df grfu. *nr fu tnnm, cf !urnfnm fu cu fn n duh, ncfst lucru durn prunnnnl punn mnn mult, pn cf n pfn n cuntnfntul fn, dnr ntuncn df!fnfn nstn pruprnftntfn fn. Ncfnstn !fnfn ntuncn dnn .nntfrnur/ n putfn df ncffn s fnf nflfns mult mnn rfpfdf dfct gndurn strnnf n duscunn nurmnl. )t df dfs nu n nu unrnn gndurnlf n !un nn!, spusf Mnchnfl u dnt. )fn mnn muln nu put dnstnngf gndurn strnnf df cflf pruprnn. Nngfrul !ustru fstf ncuntnnuu ucupnt cu fnptul, df n ! nntruducf gndurn, cnrf ! nrnt cnlfn cfn ndf!rnt. Ncfnstn fstf cffn, cf fstf ndfsfn numnt cn scrupulf. *nr ct df uur sunt ncfstfn nnrnn nruncntf cu uurnn! 'n ngfr tutun nu nrf putfrfn, s ! unlngf sprf nnnf, fl dunr nu puntf punf !unnn !unstr n nfnrn strnn df funcnunf. &f df-u pnrtf uptfsc umnrflf nfncftnt nsuprn !unstr, ! cunfnrm n !ncnnlf n pntnmnlf !unstrf, ! ndfnmn sprf fnptf runnunsf n crnmf, ln cnrf flf sf dfsftfnz ntuncn. *f cf nscult numnn nn df muln cu nun-!unn df flf( Nncn ncfstfn nu sunt tutun gndurnlf lur pruprnn. Fu trfnunf s-n fnu tntlun nfsfrnt df mulumntunrf, c fl n rmns ln mnnf! Mnmn m lunsf nnrn nnpun dnn !nsflf mflf. Fu nu n-n fn putut nnf cu prfrf df ru, dnc fl s-nr fn dus, dnc fl n-nr mnn fn putut supurtn !nnn cu ncfnst ffmfnf ncpnnt, fr drngustf. *nr fl frn ncfln, cnrf mn-n prfgtnt cnlfn cu drngustfn lun. Fr fl n-n fn gsnt cnlfn nnpun ln *umnfzfu. Fu nm n !nsnt tut tnmpul nnrn dfsprf tntn, n fl fstf mfrfu nn df nunntur n rndtur cn nnnntf. *n, un mfsn frn drngustfn. Fl !urnfn dfsfurn n duh cu mnmn, cum mn pu!fstnsf Mnchnfl ndfsfn. Nu cuntnfnt, cum putfnm fu s-u fnc ncum. *rngustfn fncf ncfnstn nutumntnc. n mfsn ul fn n ungf tutdfnunn ln dfstnnnnf, chnnr dnc nstn durfnz ctfudnt pfntru nununnlf nunstrf nfsfrnt df mult, dn chnnr n ntuncn, cnd pfntru nun nu df!nnf !nznnnl nnsulut nncn un succfs. )nd!n udnt sunt mprf urrnlf fn!urnnnlf, ntuncn nns rsndul. Nun trfnunf dunr s dm drumul prnn clcnrf ln!nnflur nunstrf mncn. Mnrn df!nn flf ntuncn snngurf. )t df muln cfdnu nstzn ntt df rfpfdf n sf dfspnrt, pfntru c nnmfnn nu lf puntf prftnndf, s trnnsc mprfun cu .nn cnnf!n. Fn nu mnn sunt dnspun, s nduc frtff, s dfn un pns nnpun snu prunnnnl s n slu fnsc u dnt. Fn nu mnn sunt dnspun, s cunsnmt cu cfllnlt, s-l nccfptf pf dfplnn, s-l n utf ln rfzul!nrfn prunlfmflur snlf. 'rnnn df fgunsmul lur pruprnu !d fn numnn grfflnlf snlf Ann znsfB. *rngustfn n df!fnnt dfmudnt- nuturfnlnznrf sf numftf cu!ntul df df!nz! n ln ncfnstn fstf cfllnlt tutun numnn stn fnntur. Fl fstf dunr .fulusnt/ cn un unnfct, nn df dfpnrtf pf ct sfr!ftf fl pruprnnlur nntfrfsf n durnnf - n dup ncffn fstf nnrn nruncnt. Frn nn df frumus df n !fdfn, cum mnmn sf schnmnnsf. Fn sf rugn mult n n n utn pf cfnlnln nn df mult pf ct putfn. $ucrurn mntfrnnlf nsfmnnu pfntru fn cu mult mnn punn dfct nnnntf. *nr ncfstfn nu frnu numnn .cumurn pfntru cfr/, pf cnrf fn lf ndunn. n nncn n ncum n mfrgfn prnn ncfnstn df n cu mult mnn nnnf. Fn n df!fnnt mnn mulumnt. $n tunt muncn n suffrnnn sllunn tutun u ffrncnrf tcut n fn. "ntn sf nucurn cu sngurnn funrtf mult df ncfst fnpt. Fl n-n nrtnt n !ns, cn fn s nu nnn nustnlgnf dup fl n gndurn, cn s sf ucupf df fnptul, cn frnnn mfn, cnrf frnu ncum nmndun df n mnturn n n!fnu fnmnlnn pruprnn, s punt gsn tut nn cnlfn cfn drfnpt. *f mult rndnrf n drngustf !n fn nf!unf pfntru ncfst lucru. 6 Nnc u dnt nnrn trfnunn fu s fnu dus spfntru nnnlnzf n clnnnc, ntr-u clnnnc unn!frsntnr, n cnrf n-nm mnn fust nncnudnt. Fu !runnm mnn ntn s m upun, nm rfnlnznt ns ncun, c fu nu n!fnm nncn u nns# nstffl m-nm dnt fu n mnnnlf dfstnnulun mfu. *nn tnmpul nccndfntulun nu mnn pnsfm n nncn u clnnnc, n ncfnstn n fust n urm cu u grmnd df nnn. *f n df dfpnrtf m-n cuprnns un sfntnmfnt ru. Ntuncn cnd nun nfnm nflnt n fnn purnn, m-nm spfrnnt fu funrtf tnrf. &fntru prnmn dnt df cnd putfnm .!fdfn/, m-n cuprnns u frnc df nfdfscrns. Frn u nmngnnf df cnus. *uhurnlf murnlur n !nn, nlf nnnmnlflur n unmfnnlur, tuntf df!fnnsfr u mns n fnfrnfrf, nfngr. &fstf tuntf sf nfln un nmfns strngt df n utur duhu!nncfsc. )um n frn

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cun!n pusnnnl, s lucrfzf nncn, fr s fnf strn!nt df ncfnstn( *uu znlf trfnunn s rmn nncn, mn spusfr fn. Fu trfmurnm cu tut trupul. Nu-mn frn pusnnnl s mfdntfz. Fr ncftnrf m lu!fnu umnrf, nu-mn lsnu nncn cfl mnn mnc luc df lnnntf. Fu l-nm rugnt pf Mnchnfl dup n utur, df-nnnn ntuncn mn-n rfunt, s-mn fnc cf!n spnnu lnnfr n lnnntf cu crucfn df lumnn. Nncnudnt nnrn nu mn-n mnn fust fffctul fn nn df lnmpfdf cuntnfnt cn nncn. 2nzflf fn crfnu un znd, cnrf m nfurn prutfctur. *nr sumnul nu frn pusnnnl. *f ndnt cf nm fust lsnt n pncf df ctrf ducturn, nm cutnt scpnrfn ln Mnchnfl. Muln trfnunf nncn s-n pftrfnc ntrfngn !nn! Fu m-nm untnt ndflung ln ducturn n ln sururn. )n prnzunnfrn ntr-u cntndfl n umnrflur nrtnu fn. *nn tuntf prnlf !fnfnu flf n trgfnu df fn, lf sugfnu tut dnn fn. )nnf !runn nncn s suprn!nfunnsc, trfnunn s nnn u ndf!rnt nntur df tnur - snu s fnf un sfnt. Fu putfnm s-n !d pf unnn dnntrf ncftn sfnnn. 2ugcnunfn n drngustfn n nfurnu cn un curt prutfctur. %mfrnn sfr!fnu fn tuturur, nnfnu tut tnmpul u nucnt df pncf n mnnnlf lur n u mprfnu tuturur, cnrf sf ntnndfnu s prnmfnsc ncfnstn. Nnflfgfrf, nuntntf n nlnntnrf n nfurnu n pf pncnfnnn lur ntr-u mnntnu prutfctunrf. Fnfrgnn, pf cnrf fn u fmnnnu mfrfu, curgfn fr nncftnrf cn ndnus dnn sffrn duhu!nncfsc-dumnfzfnfnsc, un nz!ur cnrf nncnudnt nu sfcn pfntru ncfln, cnrf rung n sf rung pfntru n prnmn ncfnstn. %un cnmfrn mfn trfnunn s sf nflf curtfn df dnnnnntf sprf nnd. Numnn cu prutfcnn lun Mnchnfl nm ndrznnt s m duc nculu. Frnu duhurnlf n zfcn df mnn df nnnmnlf, cnrf umplfnu ncpfrnlf cn u mnrf spumfgnd dnn lncrnmn, frnc n rfpru. Nncnudnt n-nm !zut fu lucrurn mnn ngruzntunrf, nncnudnt u suffrnn mnn mnrf. $n chnnurn nfnmngnnnnnlf trfnunnu ncfstf nnnmnlf s fn fust pusf. Frn nndul! )rfnt prnntr-unn dnntrf cflf mnn ngruzntunrf crnmf nlf umfnnrnn, !n!nsfcnn. )u trupul !nu, fr nnfstfznf fusfsfr multf dnntrf ncfstf nnnmnlf upfrntf. *nc f,nstn u cunl pfntru drncn, ncfnstn df nncn trfnunn s fnf. *uhurnlf nnnmnlflur, nltffl fnnf nn df !nunnf, frnu dfsfngurntf pn ln nfrfcununtfrf. *uhul nnnmnlflur nu sf nfl nncn pf dfpnrtf nn df strns n trup cn ln unmfnn. *f ncffn puntf un nnnmnl s supurtf mult mnn uur durfrn .nurmnlf/. 'n nnnmnl suffr df rfgul ln rnnrn n nuln nncn pf dfpnrtf nn df tnrf cn un um. unrfcflf, cu cnrf sf unc pnsncn, zfnrn, pf cnrf n prnns-u lful, muscn, cnrf n fust prnns df pnnn fn, flf nu suffr ln ncfnstn. *uhul lur sf dfprtfnz ntt df dfpnrtf df trup, c fl rmn nfturnurntf df ncfnstn. Numnn chnnurn nlf schnngnunrnlur nfumfnftn put ducf ln nnnmnl ln fnptul, c duhul su fstf n fl nnclus, c fl suffr chnnurn nlf nndulun n fstf n nn ffl df dfsfngurnt, cum fu nm gsnt ncfnstn nncn. *f cf( &fntru cf( 'n rspuns ln ncfstf ntrfnrn nu fstf pusnnnl. Nn cn n cum dnntr-un rznun nu puntf nncnudnt s nns pncf ndf!rnt n dnn nfnurucnrfn nlturn nncnudnt ffrncnrf ndf!rnt, nstffl nncn nu sf lns nncnudnt n!nns prnn sufrnnn nlturn pruprnn nunl. *nn durfrf, strmturnrf n munrtf - n snu f,nct ntuncn cnd fstf !urnn df nnnmnlf - nu puntf nncnudnt s fnf nscut sntntfn. Mfdncnmfntf n mftudf df upfrnnn, dfz!ultntf prnn f,pfrnfnf pf nnnmnlf, put fn ln prnmn !fdfrf plnnf df n utur ln multf nuln. &fr tutnl ns prncnnunfsc flf df n prnn fffctflf lur nd!frsf cu mult mnn mult pngun, dfct sunt flf untnlf, fcnd cu tutul nnstrncnf df urmrnlf duhu!nncfsc-suflftftn, cnrf cntrfsc nc cu mult mnn grfu. Munrtfn nu puntf crfn !nn. Ncfnstn fstf lfgf! $un Mnchnfl nsun nu-n frn uur s rmn lnnntnt. Nnc nncnudnt nu l-nm !zut nn df fmununnt. &fntru nfnumrnt df multf suffrnnf nlf umfnnrnn fstf rfspunsnnnl ncfnst crnm! Nntr-ndf!r nsntunt prnn ncfnstn n-n fust pn ncum nc nnmfnn! Nun nncn mcnr nu putfnm ncurdn n utur. Frn ngruzntur! Fu frnm nucuruns, s plfc nnrn rfpfdf df nculu, df us. *nr nmngnnnlf mn-nu rmns u !nn ntrfng n nmnntnrf. 'scnlnnnlf ngruzntunrf, cnrf sf rspndfnu dnn ncfst luc, nnfnu ntrfngn clnnnc cn prnzunnfr. 0n dnmnnfn urmtunrf nm fust cuntrulnt df ducturul %tfrn. *nn .grffnl/ frn tut ncfl ductur, cnrf m-n chnnunt dup nntfrfn, n prnmn mfn nntfrnnrf n spntnl. *nr df dntn ncfnstn nm rfunt s nnu sfntnmfntflf df ur n df rfpru, dn, nm rfunt chnnr s lf schnmn n drngustf. Fl fstf un prnnzunnfr nl mfsfrnfn snlf, mn-n spus Mnchnfl. Nnn ntrfgn, df n df cnd n-n ncfput spfcnnlnznrfn fstf f,pus ncfstur !nnrnnn. Fl nsun n trfnunt s fnc f,pfrnfnf pf nnnmnlf. *f muln nnn n sf spunf, c npnrntflf sunt snngurflf, pf cnrf fl sf puntf nnzn. *f nntunnf nu !urnftf nnmfnn. *umnfzfu fstf n cfl mnn nun cnz !nlnnnl pfntru crnlf df pu!ftn. Ncfnst cunl nu lns u nlt nltfrnntn!. 'nt-tf cu ntfnnf ln ducturul %tfrn. Fl nu fstf ru. Fl fstf cun!nns, c fncf cffn cf fstf drfpt. Fl fstf cun!nns, c puntf !nndfcn. )nnf n n!nt u spfcnnlnznrf cum fstf n sn, s nnn ncrfdfrf dunr n npnrntf, cnnf n n!nt, s sf untf dunr ln pnrtfn nulnn! n nu ln ntrfgul um, cnnf n n!nt, c nu sf cndf s n nrntf sfntnmfntflf, cnnf fstf dup ncffn nruncnt fr *umnfzfu n spntnl, fstf f,pus pfrmnnfnt !nnrnnnlur nnmncntunrf n nfgntn!f, cnnf .nfn/ .sngflf/ nnnmnlflur df f,pfrnfn, pfntru cnnf df!nnf suffrnnn u nurmnlntntf, cum puntf ncfln s df!nn sfntnmfntnl n s-n nrntf drngustfn( Nntrfnn-tf mnn nnnf cum fstf pusnnnl, c f,nst nc ntt df muln, cnrf nu mfrs prnn ncfnst munr n nu lf sunt strnnf cu!nntflf drngustf n n utur, cnrf put s snmt n ln tutul cf trfnunf s fnc, !d nc ntrfgul um n fnn lur. 0n fn n prnmnt *umnfzfu df n u lucunn, chnnr dnc fn dfsfurn nu tnu ncfst lucru. "f cust ncum mult curn df snnf, s tf nturcn nnpun n curpul tu n s nccfpn cunsultnnnlf ncflfn durfrunsf, fu tnu ncfst lucru! *nr s nu tf mnn nturcn nnpun, nr nsfmnn ln ffl cn n u snnucndfrf. "u nn nflfs ncum, c durfrfn n suffrnnn nu fstf nncnudnt fr sfns. Flf chnnunfsc curpul ntr-ndf!r, dnr punrt tutun ntutfnunn un mfsn . *f unncfn sun nn- Nntunrcf-tf! "u tf nfln pf drumul grfnt! nnf-tf dup urdnnfn drfnpt n lun

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*umnfzfu, n f-n grn n rffrntunrf ln !nlurnlf spnrntunlf! )nnf !rfn s-n nghfsunf spnrntul n mntfrnn strmt, cnnf l furfnz, s sf ucupf df sntnsfncfrnlf trupftn, cnnf n nlfgf nlnmfntflf dunr dup gustul su, cnnf n rpftf spnrntulun su lnnfrtntfn prnn dfpfndfnf, ncfln nu nrf !unf s sf mnrf c spnrntul su suffr. Nunln n suffrnnn sunt un strngt df n utur nl spnrntulun n n!frtnzfnz umul, cn fl s sf ntunrc. "nnlftflf n npnrntflf nu put !nndfcn, dn - flf nncn mcnr nu nu !unf! %fnsul !nfnn nu fstf, s trfcn prnn tuntf cu un curp sntus. "rfnunf s ! dfn mnn mult ucnznn, s prugrfsnn spnrntunl, s ! dfschndfn drngustfn. Nculu undf dumnn urn, suprnrfn, cfnrtn, nfmulumnrfn n nn!ndnn, nu puntf s rmn un curp sntus. Ncfstf !nnrnnn ndncn n nfgntn!f schnmn n nn ffl !nnrnnnlf pruprnn nlf curpulun, c ncfstn sf mnuln!ftf. Nu fstf u pfdfnps, cn un strngt df n utur- )f!n nu fstf n rfgul! *unr schnmnnrfn gndnrnn, ntunrcfrfn, l puntf nsntun dnn nuu. "nnlftflf put s nmflnurfzf, dnr flf nu put s !nndfcf! )nnf sf lns .mncnt/ df frncn sn, ncfln s fnf mulumnt, ntuncn cnd nunln l n!frtnzfnz n !rfn s-n spun- "u nu ftn curpul tu, tu ftn spnrntul tu, nu-n fncf grn n df curpul tu! % nu-n fnf tfnm dnn cnuzn lun, flf fstf fr nncn u nmpurtnn! Nndrfnpt-n duhul sprf *umnfzfu, n tfnmn sf !n f!npurn, dfunrfcf nu !n mnn fn nfcfsnr! *unr trfnunf nflfs ncfst mfsn ! "rfnunf s !rfn s-l nflfgn! Nunln nu fstf nncnudnt dnn grffnl, fn nu fstf pru!ucnt df nnctfrnn n !nrun. Nuln nnffcnunsf n lu!ftf rnrfurn pf unnn. F,nst sufncnfnn unmfnn, cnrf nu suprn!nfunt lfprfn n cnumnn, cu tuntf c n-nu n utnt pf cfn nulnn!n, fr n fn ntr-un ffl prutf nn! *rngustfn fstf un scut sufncnfnt. )ffn cf dfclnnfnz nunln fstf pruprnn cumpurtnrf grfnt, nclcnrfn urdnnnn dumnfzfnftn. *f nnnn ntuncn df!nnf pruspfr tfrfnul pfntru nnctfrnn n !nrun. *nr dnn pcntf mn urntntfn nu pnfrdut ncfnst lfgtur. Fn nncn mcnr nu mnn sunt cnpnnnln, s rfcununsc sfmnflf cflf mnn f!ndfntf. %N*N fstf unul dnntrf ncfstf sfmnf. Fnfcnrf tnf, c, df rfgul, sf puntf mnuln!n lumfn df fn dunr ntuncn, dnc n dnu fru lnnfr durnnffn trupftn, n sf,unlntntf dfplnsnt snu n dfpfndfnn df drugurn. n n luc s nlturf mutn!flf, s sf ntunrc nnpun n urdnnfn dumnfzfnnsc, sf cnut pusnnnlntn, s duc drumul mnn dfpnrtf n cu tut fflul df mn luncf n flfmfntf df sngurnn s scnpf df nn znsn .pfdfnps/. *nc nr fn ncfnstn u pfdfnps, ntuncn nu nm putfn fn df ncurd, dnr nm putfn s nflfgfm. )cn sf puntf uculn u pfdfnps, dnc unnn nfnrm cu !ucfn tnrf, c sunt ntt df nntflngfnn. *nr pfdfpsf nu f,nst! Fstf dunr u urmnrf n trnnulun df !nn grfnt. n ncfnstn nu sf !n putfn uculn df ffl. *nr cfl trznu ntuncn, cnd tuntf nfnrnlf sunt nfundntf, cfl trznu ntuncn fn !ur unsfr!n, c f,nst un drum mnn snmplu, cnrf cunducf tut tnmpul sprf succfs- s sf ntunrc n s rfcununsc dnn nuu urdnnfn dumnfzfnnsc. )um puntf !nndfcn un ductur u nunl dnc nu-n cununtf cnuzn( Fstf npru,nmntn! nn, cn n cum cnnf!n nr ncfnrcn s f,tfrmnnf u crtn , prnn fnptul c n dnstrugf muurunul. Mnnf n !n dn dnn nuu ucnznn s-u fnc. *nc nstzn .!nndfcn/ stumncul, mnnf !n fn nffctnt nnnmn, snu nntfstnnul, snu ...! "u pun dnstrugf urnctf muurunnf !rfn, sf !ur nfnnnn tut tnmpul nltflf. Nncftfnz dunr ntuncn, cnd crtnn fstf prnns. *f ncffn !nndfc-n spnrntul! n ntuncn tu nu mnn trfnunf s-n fncn grn n dnn prncnnn trupulun! )hnnr n muln dnntrf cfn cf !nndfc spnrntul mfrg drumul grfnt. *nc n lnn pf ncftn nrlntnnn dfupnrtf, ntuncn muln sf lnmntfnz s !nndfcf cu duhul curpul. *unr punnn sunt n stnrf, s nlturf cnuzflf spnrntunlf. *unr ncfst lucru cunducf sprf u !nndfcnrf pfrmnnfnt. *nc cfrf unul muln nnnn pfntru muncn sn, ntuncn tu pun s fn sngur, c nu nrf putfrfn dumnfzfnnsc, cu cnrf fl tf !nndfc. *nrurn spnrntunlf nu sf put !nndf. *umnfzfu nu sf lns pltnt n unfltflf snlf nncn ntt. Ncfst lucru fstf !nlnnnl pfntru tuntf dnrurnlf spnrntunlf. *nc cnnf!n n prnmnt df ln *umnfzfu hnrul, cn fl s punt !fdfn snu s snmt n !nntur, ntuncn ncfstn l !n drun, ndnc l !n dn dunr cn s sf punt ntrfnnf. Nnnnn sunt cfn mnn nun n cfn mnn ffncnfnt dfscupfrnrf n dnn!ululun, n cnnf sf unc cu fucul, nu nrf !unf s sf mnnunfzf, dnc sf nrdf dnn grffnl ln dfgftf. )t df punnn sunt cnpnnnln, s gsfnsc cnuzn n s !nndfcf ntr-ndf!r duhul! Muln cnrf !nndfc duhul, ct n ductrurn, nfnrm c fn put !nndfcn nnsulut tutul. Mulumnt *umnulun nu sunt fn cnpnnnln df ncfnstn! Fn nr lun ntuncn umulun ultnmn nns, cnrf n-nr furn ntunrcfrfn. &fntru muln n fust nunln lur mutn!ul, prnn cnrf fn nu rfnunnt ln tut cf fstf mntfrnnl n s-nu ndrfptnt sprf *umnfzfu. %nu cf s-nr fn ntmplnt, dnc Nnnndn 2nmn tf-nr fn !nndfcnt( Fl n-nr fn lunt cf!n! *funrfcf pfntru tnnf fstf nmpurtnnt ncfnstn/nunl/, dn /fstf !ntnl/. Fn n df!fnnt cfl mnn nun prnftfn nl tu. Fr ncfnst nunl nu nn fn n!ut nnsn, s tf dfz!uln mnn dfpnrtf. *nstrncnnlf, grnnn n lfnfn tf-nr fn cuprnns n n-nr fn nlucnt drumul spnrntunl. n fr ucnznn df n n!n umnlnnn, drngustfn n rndnrfn, nu tf-nn nfln tu nstzn nncn. %nu unt-tf ln cfnlnn hnndncnpnn, pf cnrf tu n cunutn df n. &fntru tun fstf nmpurtnnt .nunln/ lur, fn n nrf rustul fn! *n - fnfcnrf dnntrf nun putfn s fnf mulumnt pfntru nunln sn, cnrf uffrfn spnrntulun mn luncflf cn fl s sf dfz!ultf n s n!ff, cffn cf un .um sntus/ n!n dunr funrtf grfu. Fstf u trfnpt df dfz!ultnrf. )um un fluturf trfnunf s fnf ntn u umnd, pfntru cn s sf punt dfz!ultn, nn npnrf n n dfz!ultnrfn umulun un punct, undf u nunl fncf pusnnnlf f,pfrnfnf, cnrf nltffl nu sf put fncf. &fntru unul sntus, cnrf nu !rfn, s sf untf n spntflf lucrurnlur, put s sunf ncfstf cu!nntf punn cnudntf. *nr spnrntul st pfstf tuntf. 3 Mntthnns nrf df nnnn cnncn nnn, n fstf pnrnlnznt spnstnc n surdu-mut. Ntuncn cnd fl n !fnnt ln nun, mn s-n .prfzfntnt/ mnf nn- Nm n!nt s n ut. Fstf cf!n frumus, cf!n sntnsfctur. Fstf nnnf, dnc pun n utn pf

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cnnf!n. Ncum trfnunf s n!, cn fu s m lns n utnt. Ncfst lucru fstf cu mult mnn grfu. 0n ncflnn tnmp put s lf dnu nlturn pusnnnlntntfn s n utf. *n, s tf lnn n utnt, fstf cu mult mnn grfu, dfct s n un. *nr fnfcnrf, cnrf !rfn s n utf, nrf nf!unf df cnnf!n, cnrf fstf prfgtnt, s sf lnsf n utnt. n f,nct ncfstn fstf mutn!ul n multur nuln. &rnnnn lun nu nu !rut s fnf n prfn mn lur u nstffl .df pucntnnnf/. &n ncum s-n ucupnt nunncn sn cu mult drngustf df fl, n-n dnt cldurn nfcfsnr unun um cu hnndncnp, cu tuntf c fn frn funrtf grn! nulnn! n df nnnn mnn putfn s mfnrg. %nu puntf c chnnr dnn ncfst mutn!( *f ln Mnchnfl tnnm, c u nstffl df lfgtur, cum nu cunstrunt-u fn dun, !n nnf pf !fcn. Nncn u furtun nu u !n putfn rupf !rfudnt. Ncfstfn sunt fructflf spnrntulun, pf cnrf nun trfnunf s lf ndunm nncn, pfntru n putfn trn dnnculu cu flf. Nnnn nu n putut pn ncum s nn nnmfnn cu fl. *nr ncum n n!ut !unf nunncn lun s prsfnsc ncfst pmnt. Nn n n uns Mntthnns ln nun. %pnrntul su frn mnn lnnfr dfct ln cfnlnln. Fu putfnm s m .nflfg/ nnnf cu fl, chnnr n ntuncn cnd fl frn trfnz. *uhul multur unmfnn cu hnndncnp nu fstf nn df strns lfgnt df curp, cn n ln unmfnnn .nurmnln/. Ncfstn fstf n mutn!ul, c muln dnntrf fn nu snmt nn df tnrf durfrfn, cn n unmfnnn .nurmnln/. %pnrntul lur fstf mnn dnstnnnnt, fl nu trfnunf s sf ndfntnfncf cu curpul, dfunrfcf durnnflf lumftn, mntfrnnlul, grnnn n strfsul nu l unlng. Ncfstfn sunt unflf dnn ncflf .drfpturn/ pf cnrf un um cu hnndncnp lf nrf. *nr pf df nlt pnrtf fn supurt multf lucrurn. &fntru snnf, pfntru n nnnntn u nucnt pf drumul lur grfu, dnr n pfntru nlnn, cn s lf dfn ucnznn cn s n utf n s lf dfschnd uchnn cu mfsn ul lur mutNu curpul fstf cffn cf !nlurfnz, fl fstf nmpfrffct n trfctur, nmpurtnnt fstf s pun trfcf pfstf fl. *unr duhul rmnf pf !fcn, nmpurtnnt fstf s-l lnn s crfnsc!

3 Nnrn nm pnt nlturn df Mnchnfl drumul strmt df pdurf n us, pf lng cnscndn df np, sprf mncul lnc, lng cnrf sttfnm nun dfsfurn. &fntru prnmn unr nm unsfr!nt, c flurnlf frnu ntutdfnunn nflurntf, pumnn n!fnu ntutdfnunn fructf, frn tut tnmpul plcut n cnld, tutul frn mnnunnt, fr cn fu s fn unsfr!nt !rfudnt c pluun. Ntuncn cnd fu m-nm gndnt funrtf nnnf ln ntrfnnrf, pfntru cn fu s nu m nlnmfz prfn tnrf, n ncfput Mnchnfl s-mn zmnfnsc. Nu f,nst nnrn ln *umnfzfu. "utul fstf plnn df !nn. Nntutdfnunn! Nnmnc nu fstf trfctur, nnmnc nu sf puntf ufnln. "utul fstf ntutfnunn n flunrfn !nfnn. &lunnn, sunrflf n hrnnn fstf nfcfsnr dunr pfntru lumfn mntfrnnl. $umfn spnrntunl fstf 7rnstus ntru tutul. &utfrfn %n ptrundf n tutul, df ln Fl trnftf tut cf fstf. %urn Gnrcnn nr putfn s-n pu!fstfnsc ctf cf!n. ' mn m-n ntnns uur pf umr. Fu m-nm nturs. 'n ngfr tnr sttfn n fnn mfn. %urn Gnrcnn, cum nn n uns nncn! Fn n ncfput s zmnfnsc. Ncfst lucru tf-n putfn ntrfnn n fu pf tnnf. *n, ncfst lucru frn ndf!rnt. Mnchnfl, df mult nm !rut fu s tf ntrfn cf!n. Fu cunusc ncum ctf!n fflurn df nuln. %fnsul lur, pusnnnlntnlf lur. *nr cf sfns n n!ut suffrnnn surfn Gnrcnn( Fn n n uns nn df dfpnrtf n lfgturn fn cu *umnfzfu, c nu n mnn n!ut nf!unf df nunl, pfntru n gsn drumul cfl nun. *n, ncfst lucru fstf ndf!rnt! $n *umnfzfu f,nst mnn multf pusnnnlntn, n ncfnstn fstf unn dnntrf flf. Fu nm n!ut !unf s sufr, drng Nnrnnrn. N fust u mnlustn!nrf dnn pnrtfn lun *umnfzfu. Nu pfntru mnnf nm rndnt fu, cn pfntru nlnn. Nn cum Nnsus n suffrnt n mnrf pfntru nun tun, nn nm n!ut fu !unf s sufr punn pfntru cn!n. n nu sunt chnnr ntt df punnn, cnrf sf rung pfntru ncfnst mnl n u n prnmfsc. %fcrftus s-n untnt fn ln Mnchnfl. Ncfstn n dnt nfnrmntn! dnn cnp. n tu ftn unn dnntrf ncfnn. Fu( *n! Nncn tu nu mnn nn nf!unf df durfrnlf tnlf pfntru dfz!ultnrfn tn. *nr tu lf supurn n lnnntf n cu df!utnmfnt. F,nct ncfnstn fstf, cf fu nm !rut s spun. *nr cum fstf pusnnnl( Fnfcnrf trfnunf s-n mfnrg pruprnul drum. Nu puntf s n sf sucutfnsc lun mfrntflf nlturn. Ncfst lucru nr nlturn dunr !unnn sn lnnfr. Fstf unul dnntrf sfcrftflf lun *umnfzfu, cnrf fstf funrtf grfu df nflfs. Nncn fu nu sunt n stnrf, s nflfg ncfnstn ntru tutul. )hnnr n cflf mnn nnltf duhurn nu tnu tutul. *uhurnlf crfsc tut tnmpul n nflfpcnunfn lur, n nfmrgnnntn nflfpcnunf n lun *umnfzfu fstf sufncnfnt pfntru !fcnn !fcnlur. *nr cffn, cf fn nu nflfg, ncffn nccfpt fn umnln n crfdnncnun. &rnn ncfnstn sf dnffrfnnnz fn fnurm df mult f df !un unmfnnn. Fn tnu, c put s nnn ncrfdfrf n *umnfzfu, c sf put nnzn pf Fl. *umnfzfu n-n pus nc nncnudnt !rfunn dnntrf lfgnlf %nlf n nfnrn !nlnnnlntnn, n Fl nncn nu !n fncf ncfnstn !rfudnt, nncn cfn mnn nfnsfmnnt. *fsngur nr fn Fl n stnrf df ncfst lucru, n dfsngur nr putfn Fl cu ncfnstn s grnfnsc funrtf nmfns dfz!ultnrfn fpturnn. *nr Fl nu fncf. Fl n crfnt pfntru fpturn %n lfgn clnrf n drfptf, n Fl sf nnf df ncfstfn. *nc nr fncf Fl u dnt u f,cfpnf, nncnudnt nnrn nu s-nr putfn nnzn fpturnlf $un pf dfplnn pf Fl. tnn tu ncum, cf nsfnmn n .crfdf/( "u pun dfcn s fnn pf dfplnn sngur, c Fl tnf s fulusfnsc rugcnunfn n suffrnnn, cnrf sunt frtfntf pfntru nlnn, n nn ffl, nct s fnf plnnf df n utur, fr n punf !unnn lnnfr n nfnrn !nlnnnlntnn. Nn ncrfdfrf n Fl! Fu frnm ffrncnt. 7nndncnpul mfu, ncfstn frn nmpurtnnt n nfcfsnr pfntru mnnf. Ncfst lucru l tnnm nnnf. *nr durfrnlf, cnrf nu df!fnnt n ultnmul tnmp tut mnn putfrnncf, m-nu chnununt cu dunnn. &fntru c fu nu putfnm

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nflfgf sfnsul lur, lf-nm cunsndfrnt n sfcrft df n cn fnnnd fr sfns. ', ct df nfncrfzturn suntfm nun tutun! Nndnr, dfunrfcf fu tnnm, c flf lf sfr!fnu nlturn cn n utur, m nucurnm fu dnn ncfnst cnuz. 0n ultnmul tnmp nm n!ut fu !unf s lf ncurd ctur!n n utur n nm putut s schnmn unflf lucrurn n mprf urnmfn mfn. Ntrnfn ndmnnnstrntunrf n-nm ndfprtnt pu!nrn fn. Fu trfnunn, cf-n drfpt, s m ucup fnfcnrf zn dnn nuu df ncfnstn, pfntru c fn nu frn nncn pf dfpnrtf ndfn uns df putfrnnc, s rfznstf ln ntncurnlf umnrflur. *nr fn fcfn ncuntnnuu prugrfsf mncn. Fn df!fnnsf mnn prnftfnuns, gntn s dfn n utur, cnd sf rugn, frn fn n n nntfrnur pnrtncnpnnt ln ncfnstn. Funrtf ncft, nprunpf nfunsfr!nt cunstrunsf fn un cmp n urul fn, cnrf nu mnn lsn nn uur s !nn ln suprnfn sfntnmfntf n gndurn nfgntn!f. Fn nu tnn mutn!ul, dnr fn ngn df sfnm, c frn cf!n df fn, cf n fcfn trfnnn mnn uunr. Ntuncn s-n trfznt nnnflf dnn fn, n fn lucrn cu tunt furn n cffn cf prn!fn pfrsunnn fn. "rfnnn n cffn cf prn!ftf pfrsunnn pruprnf, ncfnstn n-u puntf prflun nnmfnn df ln tnnf, ccn, nltffl, s-nr fn spus tutun cu !unnn lnnfr. Nntr-ndf!r sunt dfsfurn pnfdncn prfzfntf, cnrf pnr df nftrfcut. Nns, df ndnt cf ncfpf muncn n cffn cf prn!ftf pfrsunnn pruprnf, df ndnt cf fstf nntfprnns ncfrcnrfn sfrnuns, s tf schnmnn, s dnn sfntnmfntflf n gndurnlf nfgntn!f pruprnn n schnmnul drngustfn n pfntru Nnsus 7rnstus, ntuncn n fstf cnnf!n df fn, cnrf nlung pnfdncnlf dnn cnlf. &runnnnl nu mnnf, prunnnnl nncn pun-mnnf. )tfudnt !n fn nfcfsnr, s rfzntn mult tnmp, pfntru c n !unnn n rndnrfn !ur s fnf nntrfnntf. Nnmfnn nu lf puntf prnmn cn cnduu. &unrtn df ln nchnsunrf, pf ncffn u !ur dfschndf nlnn, dnc u zgudunftn dfstul df mult tnmp. *nr dus nfnr nu !fn fn, trfnunf s mfrgn tutun snngur. 3 n FrDnn fcusf prugrfsf nmfnsf. Fl frn numnn uur hnndncnpnt curpurnl, suffrfn ns df u schnzufrfnnf prununnt, df ln nl trfnlfn nn df !nn nl su. Ncfnst dfspncnrf n pfrsunnlntnn frn nn df putfrnnc, c fl trfnunn mfrfu s nn mfdncnmfntf df lnnntnrf. &rnn ncfnstn df!fnfn fl ns nn df rfdus, c nu mnn frn n stnrf, s-n fulusfnsc mnntfn, s nn dfcnznn df unul snngur. Fl df!fnnsf un scln!. 0n stnrfn nurmnl frn fl un nnnt drgu, cnrf fcfn tutul pfntru nltcnnf!n. )nd n!fn crnzflf lun, frn fl Nnpulfun. Fnfcnrf frn dumnnul lun, n fl ntncn cu tuntf, cf n frnu ln ndfmn. Fnn lun, nfnnrfn lun, nn chnnr ntrfngn lun fnnn sf schnmnn df fnfcnrf dnt pf dfplnn. )hnnr n lnmnn sunn nltffl. )nd nm !zut fu pfntru prnmn dnt, cffn cf sf ntmpln nncn, nu !runnm s crfd ncfnstn. &rfn fnntnstnc frn cffn, cf !zusfm fu. Nncn nu mn-n fust lnmpfdf lfgturn lugnc. Nstffl, l-nm rugnt pf Mnchnfl dup un sfnt. "u nn !zut tutun curfct, mn rspunsf fl. %unt ntr-ndf!r duu duhurn, cnrf sf cfnrt pfntru trupul lun. *uhul nnntulun n un nltul, cnrf rfunsf, s sf trnnspun nn df tnrf n curp, c nnntul nu mnn puntf scpn df fl dnn putfrfn pruprnf. $n ncfnstn n nnu mfdncnmfntflf, pf cnrf trfnunf s lf nn mfrfu, nc n ultnmn nns df rfunt. *nr - cum fstf ncfnstn pusnnnl( &rnn nnumntf ntmplrn nmpurtnntf puntf duhul s sf ndfprtfzf funrtf dfpnrtf df trup. *nc ntuncn un nlt duh sf fncf n ncfst tnmp stpn pf trupul lun, puntf s sf ntmplf, c, ln rfnturcfrfn lun, fl nu mnn puntf s scnpf df unspftflf nfpuftnt. &rfdumnn ntuncn u lupt cuntnnu ntrf cfn dun. )nd unul ctng, ntuncn fl stnpnftf pfstf trup. )nd cfllnlt ctng pfntru un tnmp suprfmnnn, ntuncn trfnunf trupul s-l nscultf. *funrfcf tutun n rflnffflf curpurnlf sunt dfpfndfntf df duh, sf schnmn ntuncn ndfsfn n ntrfngn nfnnrf df nspfct n ncfstun um rfgrftnnnl. Numnn c nncn fstf sntunnn cn n ln tuntf- cffn cf nu !fzn, ncffn nncn nu crfzn. ' mnrf pnrtf dnntrf ncfnn, cnrf n duc f,nstfnn lur nlnnc prnn snnnturnnlf psnhnntrncf, fncf pnrtf dnntrf ncftnn. *fspncnrf n pfrsunnlntnn u numfsc psnhulugnn. Fn nncn mcnr nu tnu, ct df mult drfptntf nu fn cu ncfst cu!nt. F,nst n cnzurn, undf sf stnnnlnfsc duhul snu duhurnlf nn df putfrnnc n trup, c stpnul df drfpt nu mnn puntf nnsulut df luc s !nn nnpun. Nncn ncfnstn nu fstf nn df rnr. *nc duhul prsftf nncuntnfnt trupul, dfcn n sumn, nu sf puntf ntmpln nnmnc. "rupul fstf pznt cn un rfgf. Ncfnstn fstf unn dnntrf snrcnnnlf nunstrf. n nun suntfm df ncrfdfrf! *nc ns duhul sf dfprtfnz cuntnfnt df trup, ntuncn trfnunf n un nct cuntnfnt s-l prutf fzf! Ncfnstn fstf u lfgf n fstf n lfgtur cu dfcnznn lnnfr n !unnfn. *f ncffn fstf ntt df nmpurtnnt, cn tu s tf ngrn ftn df u prutfcnf nnnntf df fnfcnrf mfdntnnf- prnn rugcnunf n prnn crucfn df lumnn! F,nst n nltf pusnnnlntn, cnrf lf utnlnzfnz mnn nlfs !r nturnn df mngnf nfngr. Ncfstf duu sunt ns cflf mnn putfrnncf, n tu tf pun ntutdfnunn n pf dfplnn ncrfdf n ncfstfn. Muln nn numnn mfdnumn nu pltnt df n cu .pnfrdfrfn/ trupulun lur ncfnst nfgln nrf n mrfnn lur pruprnf snu n nfsucutnnn lur. +nnn, pf cnrf u punrt ntuncn cn .nfnunn/, nncn mcnr nu mnn mfrnt ncfst numf. Fstf u munrtf !nf, pf cnrf u suffr. Fu !rfnu s-n nrt, cnrf n fust ln FrDnn mutn!ul. 0n succfsnunn rnpndf nm !zut fu ntuncn nmngnnn dnn cupnlrnn lun. "ntl su n czut prnd nlcululun. Nntutdfnunn, cnd fl nfn, ntfn ntrfngn lun fnmnlnf, n pf mncuul FrDnn. *f duu urn fusfsf fl df n n spntnl dnn ncfnst cnuz, ln un nn n umtntf n ln dun nnn. &rnmn unr fusfsf fl prfsrnt df sus pn us cu !ntn# fl nr fn czut us pf scrn, sf spunfn. N duun unr n!usfsf fl rupt mnn - u cdfrf ln unc pf strnd. Ntuncn cnd fl cu cfn nprunpf trfn nnn nn sn fcfn n pnt nunptfn, s-n pnfrdut tntl su pf dfplnn cu fnrfn. Fl l-n ngnt n cndn df nnnf n npn rfcf n l-n nnut nn df mult sun np, pn cf df!fnnsf fl nncuntnfnt. Ntuncn s-n ntmplnt ncfnstn. *uhul su nu putusf suffrn ncfst uc n sf dfprtnsf dnntr-u dnt funrtf dfpnrtf df trup. Nndnr - unn dnntrf multflf umnrf, pf cnrf tntl su lf purtn mfrfu cu fl, s-n fcut df ndnt stpn pf trupul su. $un FrDnn n-n rfunt, cf-n drfpt, nc rfntunrcfrfn, dnr fl nu mnn frn snngur. Nncn urm df cnn n-n nrtnt tntl su. n ntnlf lf putfn fl ncupfrn. FrDnn n n uns ntr-u cns df cupnn, n cnzul n fust nchfnnt.

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)nncn sutf df mnn df cupnn sunt fnfcnrf nn mnltrntnn numnn n Gfrmnnnn, mn spusf Mnchnfl. *nntrf ncftnn trfnunf pfstf u sut df mnn ngrn nn stnnunnr n spntnl. Nns cflf mnn multf cnzurn sunt munmnlnzntf n sunt dntf drfpt nccndfntf. n ntuncn sunt unmfnn, cnrf nc l mnn numfsc pf dnn!ul u nfnnrf dnn pu!ftn ! ' nfnnrf dnn pu!fstf funrtf !nf, mn pnrf mnf. Nntrfntunrf nm prn!nt ln Mnchnfl# fl ddfn numnn dnn cnp, n df ntuncn m-nm ucupnt fnfcnrf zn nntfnsn! df FrDnn. Fu ncfrcnm s-l mnulzfsc n nfnr pf dumnnul lun, l-nm .mprucnt/ cu crucn df lumnn n nm n!ut succfs funrtf rfpfdf. *f n prnmn dnt n pnfrdut fl df ndnt stpnnrfn nsuprn trupulun. Fl df!fnfn !nznnnl tut mnn mult fr !lng. Nmputrn!nrfn lun pfrnudnc frn numnn u ntlnf df rftrngfrf. &unnf sptmnn dup ncffn s-n s!rnt. &f dfplnn ustfnnt trfnunn fl s sf rftrng. $umnnn n!nngf ntutdfnunn, mn spusf Mnchnfl, chnnr dnc ctfudnt durfnz mult, chnnr dnc ctfudnt sf rftrngf pf dfplnn, pfntru n n!fn ntuncn un cu ntt mnn mnrf succfs cu un ntnc prnn surprnndfrf. % spfrm, c fn sf ntunrcf ncun nnrn nnpun n ncfnst lumf! FrDnn n urncf cnz frn !nndfcnt. Nunlf mfdncnmftf n-nu fcut fffctul funrtf rfpfdf, frnu df prfrf ducturnn. &fntru sngurnn nr trfnun fl s lf mnn nn nc cn!n nnn, cn u rfcndn! s punt fn nlturnt. *nr nfgln fnn n dfzurdnnf nu sunt ntutdfnunn nfgntn!f. 0n ncfst cnz n-nu fcut lun FrDnn pusnnnl, s duc ncun u !nn dfstul df nurmnl. 7nndncnpul lun curpurnl uur nu nffn mnn dfpnrtf n f!ndfn. Fu frnm pfstf msur df nucuruns, numnn ntrfnnrfn *f cf m mnn prfucupn. ) nu f,nst cunncndfn, tnu fu, n c nu frn u pfdfnps, n pf ncfnstn u tnnm. )nd nf-n prnsnt FrDnn - fl mplnnnsf ntuncn !rstn df upstsprfzfcf nnn n putfn nnnf s sf nn pf cunt pruprnu - nm !zut fu dnntr-u dnt un nrnnt n fnn mfn, cnrf ndfmnn un prnftfn ln nut ntr-u rund !fsfl. Mfrfu dnn nuu fl l prflucrn, l numfn un slnnnug n um fr !unn, cu tuntf c tnn, c ncfst nrnnt tnr nu putfn supurtn nlculul. Mfrfu nnrn n!fn fl succfs n sf nucurn rfgftf, cnd ncfstn frn ntuncn nfnt. *nr n-n durnt mult tnmp, n fl dfczusf pf dfplnn prnd nlcululun, n fust rfspnns df fnmnlnn lun n n murnt cn!n nnn mnn trznu n mnzfrnf. Nntr-ndf!r n prfn n sfcrft ncum ru ncfstun um df grffnln lun. 0n f,tfrnur nffn fl ns prnn ncffn dnn nncurctur, c fnfcnrf nr trfnun dunr dfsngur snngur s tnf, cf fncf fl. &fstf un nunstr df ln nntrnrf sf nfl u nnscrnpnf mnrf. &f ncffn st scrns- &utfcn nturtuchnntf, umnrf n lumnn, tuntf sunt mnl, nu tf nfrncun. *nc FrDnn n nflfs ntr-ndf!r ncfnstn( &f muln nm n!ut fu !unf s-n n ut. Nntutdfnunn ncnunnm nsuprn duhulun lur, n-nm flnnfrnt df umnrflf lur, lfnm nntrudus gndurn, cn s punt gsn cnlfn cfn curfct. Ncfnn, cnrf frnu dnspun sprf n fncf ncfst lucru, nu pnt pf ncfnst cnlf cu nucurnf. Nulnlf lur nu dnsprut snngurf, dup cf mutn!ul ncfsturn, schnmnnrfn grfnt n trnrnn !nfnn, fusfsf nlturnt. Nns frnu n muln cnrf nu frnu n stnrf df ncfnstn. Fn snmfnu ntr-ndf!r uurnrfn, nu !runnu ns s sf ustfnfnsc. Fn frnu prfn lfnfn, pfntru n-n schnmnn unncfnurnlf, fn frnu prfn slnnn, pfntru n sf rfdrfsn n s-n dfn !nfnn lur u nlt dnrfcnf. 'ndf fstf u !unn, nculu fstf n u cnlf. *nr dnc !unnn lnpsftf, sf !n nstupn n cnlfn nnrn. 7 Nnrnn fusfsf frnguruns n ndr nt, dnr ncum s-n fcut prnm!nr. %unrflf strlucfn nc punn cnm tnmnd, !ntul frn nc punn cnm rcurus, dnr psrnlf cnrnpfnu nn df tnrf n !fsflf, n ntrfngn nntur prfn s sf nucurf cu flf nsuprn pntflun. &fntru prnmn dnt n ncfst nn nm n!ut nun !unf s fnm nfnr, nfnr dnn culn!nn, cu cnrf sf nchndf u umfnnrf nftnutunrf fn df nntur. Nun, pfrsunnflf cu hnndncnp, suntfm tutun mult mnn putfrnnc lfgnn df nntur. &f df-u pnrtf fstf duhul nustru mult mnn lnnfr, nu fstf nn df tnrf lfgnt df curp, n, n nl dunlfn rnd, nu fstf fl nlucnt df ctrf .strfsul znlnnc/. Nmnduu nu grn , cn nun s putfm snmn nnturn mult mnn nprunpf df nun. ' pfrsunn cu hnndncnp puntf df rfgul s sf nntruduc cu snmnrfn mult mnn nnnf n nntur. Fl sf snmtf c npnrnnf df nntur, snmtf ncffnn pru!fnnfn n nnturnn n n umulun- *umnfzfu! Fl puntf !urnn cu psrnlf, puntf nflfgf lnmnn pnsncnn, fl puntf pumulun s-n dfstnnunf nnnmn n tnf, c ncfstn l !n nflfgf. Multf crfnz duhul n nscuns, cffn cf .umul curpurnl/ nu puntf cuprnndf cu cflf cnncn snmurn nlf snlf. Frn cfl mnn frumus, s nm !unf s m .duc ln plnmnnrf/ prnn pnrc. )nd !rfmfn frn fn!urnnnl, frn mnmn df fnfcnrf dnt nfnr cu mnnf n m mpnngfn n scnunul cu rutnlf sun pumn, df-n lungul cmpnnlur n!frzntf n n gnrdulun nnnf-mnrusntur. Fu nu mn-n fncf nttfn ustfnfln, fn tutun nu nrf nncn un ctng df ln ncfst lucru, nn spus udnt cnnf!n mnmfn mflf. Ncfnstn nu fstf curfct! Nu cu pncnunrflf, nu cu un trup sntus, nn nncn chnnr cu u mnntf sntuns nu sf snmtf nntfns nnturn. *uhul snngur fstf n stnrf df ncfnstn. Numnn c - pf ncfln nu-l !fzn. )t df multf nu s nf spun pumnn! "cun stnu fn nculu. Nn df nn n ncflnn luc. Fn nu sunt u mntfrnf munrt. 'n pum trnftf. n cum! Fl fstf un urnn plnn df fnfrgnf, un ndf!rnt .pnchft df fnfrgnf/. $n un pum pun s tf umpln df fnfrgnf, n fl fstf cu drng dnspus ln ncfnstn, dnc l rugn pfntru nn cf!n. 'n pum nu fstf murt. Fl puntf snmn! Nltffl dfct nun, dnr tut nn df nntfnsn!. 'n pum snmtf durfrf, dnc n sf prncnnunftf pngun, dnc n dfcu ftn scunrn df f,fmplu snu dnc n tnn rnmurnlf. %trmunn nutrn tnnu nc ncfnstn. &rufnnnrfn df pumn frn funrtf sf!fr pfdfpsnt. )u sngurnn nu dnn cruznmf, cn dnn tfmflnn ncfstfn cununtfrn. .&umul mfu/, ncfln frn u znd mnrf, mrfn nprunpf df prul mnc. *f sfculf sf nfln fn n ncflnn luc, tcut n

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df!utnt. 'n f,fmplu df mudfl pfntru smfrfnnf n rndnrf. )t df mult nm putfn nun n!n df ln pumn, dnc nun nf-nm lun tnmp sprf ncfst lucru! *nc tf prfgtftn suflftftf nsuprn unun pum snu n unfn plnntf, pun snmn uscnlnnnlf, cnrf sf rspndfsc df ln ncfstfn. &un s fncn schnmn sf sfntnmfntf f,nct nn cn n cu un um. 'm pum puntf s-n fnf un prnftfn. Fl fstf u fptur n lun *umnfzfu cn nun, nscut dnn drngustfn $un. )flf cnncn snmurn nlf nunstrf nu pfrmnt ncfnst rfcunutfrf. ' pfrsunn cu hnndncnp ns, n crun duh prnmftf mnn mult spnnu lnnfr prnn tulnurnrfn snmurnlur, puntf ndfsfn s !nd n spntflf ncfstur lucrurn n sf snmtf nnstnnctn! lfgnt df nntur. %urn Mngdnlfnn trfnunn s fnn tnut df ncfst lucru. Fn lun mult ustfnfnl nsuprn fn, pfntru n nf ducf nfnr nn df dfs pf ct frn pusnnnl. Fn rfunsf, cn nun s n n!fm !unf u dnt s cununtfm cu un nutunuz mprf urnmfn nprupnnt. Frn fnfcnrf zn u zn df srntunrf. *fsngur, frn ustfnntur, s mpnngn scnunflf cu rutnlf pfstf crrnlf df pdurf, dnr fu n sunt funrtf mulumntunrf pfntru fnptul, c fn nf-n drunt multf nsfmfnfn urf ffrncntf. Mnn nc un lucru n putut s nmpun fn, df un nn df cnd fn n !fnnt ln nun. &n ncum nu nu f,nstnt nnnmnlf. Nu n fust !unf. Fn ns n ndus ctf!n pnsncn, pf cnrf mn urntntfn dnntrf nun lf-nu prnmnt cu mnrf drng, nn c nncn nu mnn putfn fn !urnn df !rfu sfpnrnrf. Nntrf tnmp n!fm df n zfcf pnsncn n trfn cnnn mncn, cnrf sf snmt funrtf nnnf ln nun. &fntru un um hnndncnpnt fstf un nnnmnl u mnrf nnnfcu!ntnrf. )untnnn sn nu cunstrunftf .dnffrfnf df rnng/ n nncn nu trfnunf s du!fdfnsc, c fl fstf ncfln putfrnnc. 'n um cu hnndncnp puntf cu snmurnlf snlf s nnsunrn ntru tutul un nnnmnl. n ntuncn cnd nu mnn f,nst .dnffrfnf df rnng/, ntuncn df!nnf nnnmnlul un prnftfn, ntuncn nrf fnfcnrf fnnnn crfnt df *umnfzfu ncflfnn drfpturn - n tutul, cf fstf n lun *umnfzfu, trnftf. 3 +nnn mfn n fust dnntr-u dnt nn df plnn, df cnd n!fnm !unf s n ut pf nlnn. 0n fnfcnrf zn m nprupnnm df *umnfzfu prnn rugcnunf n mfdntnnf n Fl mn trnmntfn n utur spnrntunl, nculu undf frn nf!unf df fl. Fu nm n!ut !unf s !nndfc snu s nmflnurfz nuln, nm n!ut !unf s dnu curn n nlnnnrf, nm n!ut !unf s nltur dnn drum nnrnfrf, cnrf nu nprut ntrf *umnfzfu n cfn cf cutnu. Fu nm n!ut !unf s n n ut pf muln s scnpf df grfutntfn lur, nm n!ut !unf s-n flnnfrfz df umnrf. *nr n unnn dnn .nmprnn umnrflur/ sf lsnu cundun cu drng. Nu sunt dunr duhurn rflf# dfsfurn sunt n .suflftf srncf/, cnrf nu nu gsnt nc drumul. )n sunt n znun df nstzn cnrf nu mnn crfd ntr-u !nn df dup munrtf! Fn sunt cun!nnn, c sf tfrmnn tutul dup munrtf. Nm putfn fn df prfrfn, c dup munrtf fn sf !ur cun!nngf df cuntrnrnul prunlfmfn. Nncn dnn grffnl! Mnn nlfs ntuncn, cnd fn mur nfntfptnt, nu sunt dfluc prfgtnn, df unncfn nu tnu nncn mcnr, cf s-n ntmplnt df fnpt. &fntru unul cnrf trnftf sun ncfstf cu!nntf funrtf cnudnt. *nr dnc sf punf cnnf!n n ncfnst sntunnf, sf puntf nflfgf*nc unul crfdf, c dup cf n murnt fstf .murt/, ntuncn nu-n trfcf gndul prnn cnp, c fl s-n nflnt, cn fl fstf df prfrfn, c nu n murnt. Fl trntf, n pfntru c dup munrtf ftn .murt/, nu fstf pusnnnl cn fl s fn murnt! Ncfst lucru fstf lugnc dunr, snu nu( Fl unsfr! ntr-ndf!r c cf!n nu fstf n urdnnf, dnr fl nu-n puntf f,plncn ncfnstn. Fl nu fstf undf!n n .lumfn df npun/ nnnf sfpnrnt snu ntr-un luc strnn numnt .purgnturnu/. Fl fstf n cuntnnunrf nculu, f,nct nculu, undf fl n murnt. n fl puntf !fdfn n nuzn tutul, chnnr n mnn nnnf dfct nnnntf. $un n sf pnrf dunr cnudnt, c cfnlnln l .lns dfupnrtf/, c fn nu mnn !urnfsc cu fl. Fu nm !zut muln, cnrf nnu cuntnnunt sfr!ncnul! Fn !fnfnu cum frnu unnnunn ncns pfntru n mncn, durmn n mfrgfnu ln mfcnurnlf df futnnl. Fn nu unsfnr! nncn fnptul, c put dfudnt trfcf prnn zndurn n un nchnsf. Muln prn!fsc pruprnn lur nmurmntnrf n sf ntrfnn, cf s-n ntmplnt nnrn. $n sf pnrf ntr-ndf!r cnudnt, c fstf tut tnmpul ntt df ntunfrnc, c sunrflf nu mnn rsnrf, c nu mnn pluu dfluc. *nr fn nu n dnu sfnmn, cf s-n ntmplnt ntr-ndf!r. Muln nn ln nnumntf lucrurn lumftn, pf cnrf lf-nu nunnt, fnf un dulnp, u lnp funrtf frumuns, u cnrtf, cnsn lur snu un nnstrumfnt muzncnl. Fn nu sf put dfsprnndf df cffn cf fstf mntfrnnl. )hnnr dnc ncfstf cu!nntf sun n fn dnn pu!ftn, sunt tutun ndf!rntf! % nu nf nmngnnm ncum nmfdnnt, nn df pnrc nun nm fn .dnnculu/ cu cunutnnn nunstr. Nn s-nr prfn nmfdnnt nltffl mprf urrnlf. *nr cunutnnn nu mnn fstf! *unr fncf pnrtf dnn curp, n ncfln fstf murt! 2mnf dunr suflftul spnrntunl. n ln ncfn unmfnn, cnrf nu s-nu ucupnt df fn n tnmpul !nfnn, fstf ct sf puntf df srnc. Fn fstf .hnndncnpnt spnrntunl/, n ncfnstn n cfn mnn mnrf msur. Ncum sf put nflfgf mnn nnnf ncfstf rfncnn. *uhurnlf sunt dfsfurn mrgnnntf n trfnnn lur prnn rudflf lur nprupnntf. )t df dfs sf ntmpl, c u .sunf nunntunrf/ nu nflfgf pur n snmplu, c suul fn n murnt. Fn n punf cn df unncfn mncnrf n fnrfurnf, !urnftf cu fl cn n nlt dnt, l durftf nprunpf. %nu ntuncn cnd munrf un cupnl, pf cnrf mnmn nu !rfn s-l lnsf s plfcf! Fstf cfl mnn ru lucru, cf sf puntf ntmpln ncfstur suflftf. Fn sunt prnnn n ncfn nunptf n dfsfurn nu nf!unf df funrtf mult tnmp, pn cnd fn gsfsc drumul cfl drfpt. n ct df uur put fn fn n utnn. "rfnunf dunr s-$ rugnn pf 7rnstus, cn Fl s trnmnt un ngfr, cnrf s lf nrntf drumul. Nun trfnunf s nf rugm pfntru ncfnn cnrf nu murnt. Muln sunt nfn uturnn, n cununtfrfn lur fstf fgnl cu cfn n unun cupnl! Fstul nf-n ntrfcut n ncfnstn. 0n "nnft f,nst nn znsn .cnrtf tnnftnn pfntru murn/. ' pnrtf fstf cntnt cu rfgulnrntntf cflun cnrf n dfcfdnt curnd. Ncfnst cnrtf cunnnf tutul, cf trfnunf s tnf fl dfsprf !nnnn df dup munrtf n dfsprf drumul pf cnrf trfnunf s-l mfnrg. Fstf cfl mnn mnrf n utur, cnrf n sf puntf uffrn unun dfcfdnt, dnc fstf *umnfzfu rugnt, cn Fl s-l cunduc sprf drumul cfl drfpt. Nu fstf drfpt cn s fnn df nfcunsulnt ln munrtfn unun um drng. Fu nm trnt ncfnstn chnnr cu tntl mfu. Fl n fust ns ntt df n!nnsnt spnrntunl, c nu n fust rfnnut df ncfst lucru. Muln sunt nc mult prfn unmfnn, cn s punt

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s stpnfnsc sntunnn. Fn !ur s-n cunsulfzf rudflf n rmn nc mult tnmp mprfun cu flf, nnr ncfst lucru fstf n dffn!unrfn dfz!ultrnn lur. *rngustfn nu nsfnmn, s uprftn pf cnnf!n n dfz!ultnrfn sn. Nnsfnmn n prnmul rnd, s-l lnn s-n mfnrg drumul, dnc fstf pfntru fl mnn nnnf n mnn frumus n s tf nucurn mprfun cu fl! F,nst multf pupunrf, ln cnrf munrtfn unun um fstf u ffstn!ntntf. % tnf fn unrf mnn mult, dfct lumfn cn!nlnznt( Munrtfn nu fstf nncnudnt u cunncndfn, nncnudnt! Nu fstf ncn mcnr u pfdfnps! &fntru nnmfnn! Munrtfn nsfnmn tfrmnnnrfn unun stngnu df dfz!ultnrf. Fstf f,nct ncflnn lucru, cn ln un studnu. "untf mntfrnnlf trfnunf s fnf ucupntf. Nu fstf df fulus, dnc ncfln, cnrf fstf ductur n df!fnnrf, prnmftf urf dunr ln nnntumnf. Nmfdnnt dup cf fl n n!nt ncfnstn, d fl un tfst n ucup u mntfrnf cnrf l ducf sprf spfcnnlnznrf. *nc nu trfcf tfstul, ntuncn trfnunf cn fl s rfpftf dnn nuu cursul. %f mnn puntf ntmpln, c nu trfcf ntr-u nnumnt spfcnnlntntf n tfstulun su, n ntuncn trfnunf fl s rfpftf dunr ncfn pnrtf. Nnr *umnfzfu fstf un pruffsur mnlustn!! Fl nu lns pf cnnf!n s cnd dffnnntn!. Fnfcnrf puntf s rfpftf tfstul. *nr fl trfnunf s tfrmnnf n cursul cnrf fncf pnrtf dnn ncfl tfst. *f ncffn, fnfcnrf ntrfnnrf dup un .*f cf/ fstf nnutnl! )ursul s-n tfrmnnnt, n u nlt mntfrnf sf !n prfdfn n urmturul sfmfstru. Nnmfnn nu cununtf .stnrfn df dfz!ultnrf/ n cflunlnlt. *f ncffn nu puntf spunf nnmfnn- )f rust n n!ut, dnc un cupnl n murnt df n dup duu znlf df ln nntfrfn sn. )hnnr n snrcnnn, dnr mnn nlfs nntfrfn, n chnnr n munrtfn fnc pnrtf dnn mntfrnnlf nunstrf df tfstnrf! Flf cunnn nttfn trnrn, c nncnudnt nu !n fn fr rust, s trnftn .dunr/ ncfst lucru. n muln sunt nf!zturn. 'nul cnrf !fdf ru puntf s !nd lunn. *nr nfnumrntflf n nmfnsflf stflf fl nu lf !n !fdfn nncnudnt. *nr u pusnnnlntntf nrf fl cn s punt nfln ncfnstn- crfdnnn! Fstf nnnf, dnc nn !unf s n un. % nccfpn ns n uturul, s m lns n utnt, ncfst lucru n fust u trnrf nmpurtnnt pfntru mnnf. n fu sunt mulumnt n ffrncnt dnn ncfnst cnuz. *nr cu ct df mult fstf mnn frumus, s pun n utn! *rngustfn fstf cn un numfrnng. Ndf!rntul fgunst fmntf drngustfn, ntt df mult ct puntf fl. Fl u prnmftf ns df sutf df urn nnpun. )u nnnnn fnfcnrf prucfdfnz nn. Nn dfpunf n nnnc, cn s nduc dunnzn. *nr drngustfn, !rfn fnfcnrf s-u nn pfntru fl. )um puntf s nduc ntuncn dunnzn( *umnfzfu trnmntf fr ntrfrupfrf drngustf, drngustf curnt. Fl prnmftf df ncffn cfl mnn mult nnpun. )ffn, cf fstf dfscrns prnn fgunsm, fstf f,nct cuntrnrnul. Fstf !urnn df cnnf!n, cnrf n f,punf fguul Andnc pf snnf nsunB n f,tfrnur, fstf ncfln, cnrf nu fstf prfgtnt s n utf n s drunnsc, n cnrf strngf !nlurn mntfrnnlf pfntru snnf. )t df nfffrncnn sunt n rfnlntntf ncftn unmfnn! )t df dfs trfnunf s sf dfspnrt, ct df dfs trfnunf s fug df nlnn, dfunrfcf fn sunt df prfrf, c mnn put prnmn n nlt pnrtf cf!n, cf nc lf lnpfstf! )u tuntf c sunt nugnn, cu tuntf c nu multf nctn!ntn n schnmnrn prfmnnfntf, fn srcfsc cu tutul n nntfrnurul lur. )nnf n cnut ffrncnrfn dunr n lucrurn mntfrnnlf, ncfln n lns spnrntul s munr df funmf n chnnurn! )nnf nn n ncfnrc s mnncf ct mnn mult dnn pr nturn, cnrf fstf pfntru tun, ncfln nu trfnunf s sf mnrf, dnc n sf fncf ru dup ncffn. Ndf!rntul fgunsm fstf ncfln, dnc fu fnc cf!n cf mn nducf un nfnnfncnu, n cf put s pstrfz dup ncffn pfntru mnnf! )fl mnn trznu ntuncn cnd sf nnstnlfnz munrtfn sf .cunfnsc/ nunurnlf mntfrnnlf, dnc nu mnn df!rfmf dnn cnuzn lucrrnlur mflf rflf. Ndf!rntul fgunst strngf cumurn spnrntunlf. )cn pf ncflfn lf puntf lun cu fl n pf lng ncfnstn prnmftf n dunnd, nnr fnfcnrf nnnchnfr nr n!fn dnn cnuzn ncfnstn lncrnmn n uchn. Fu nm supurtnt multf durfrn n ultnmn !rfmf. )u tuntf ncfstfn nm fust fu ffrncnt. % nnn cnnf!n nf!unf df tnnf, s nn !unf s n un, s lucrn nctn! n mnrfn crfnnf n lun *umnfzfu, cf lucru puntf fn, unrf, mnn frumus( )nnf nu n n!ut nncnudnt ncfstf sfntnmfnt, fstf cfl mnn srnc um dnn lumf. 0ntr-u slu n fstf ncfstn cfl mnn nurmnl lucru. *nc nrf cnnf!n un ff nun, sf strdunftf, cum puntf fl mnn nnnf. Fl ncfnrc, sf df!nn df nfprfunt n sf nucur ntuncn cnd l lnud fful su n n d df nflfs, c nrf nf!unf df fl. n n !nn, s fnf unrf chnnr ntt df dnffrnt(

3 Nntr-u zn l-nm ntrfnnt pf Mnchnfl- Nm n uns fu ncum ntt df dfpnrtf cn Nnnndn 2nmn( Nncnudnt nu l-nm !zut fu mnn surprnns. Fu !d df n, c tu nu nn n!nt cfl mnn nmpurtnnt lucru, n tu nu-l !fn nflfgf, nttn tnmp ct !fn n!fn gndurn fgunstf. Fu nm !rut s prutfstfz, fu nm !rut s-n spun, c nm df!fnnt un f,fmplu n drngustfn n umnlnn. Fu nu-n fnc nnmnun !rfun rfpru, chnnr dnc sunt trntnt cu nfdrfptntf. Fu nunfnm pf tunt lumfn, n utnm spnrntunl pf fnfcnrf, fr !rfu dnffrfn. Fu nu m crfdfnm mnn prfsus dfct nltcnnf!n, chnnr n nnnmnlflf n plnntflf lf cunsndfrnm fnrnn n sururnlf mflf. *nr Mnchnfl, cnrf putfn s-mn cntfnsc gndurnlf cn ntr-u cnrtf dfschns, nu n nccfptnt nncn u scuz. "u nn drfptntf, mn-n spus fl. )u tuntf ncfstfn, tu nu nn trfcut nc df ultnmul unstncul. Fstf grfu df f,plncnt, dnr fstf n mnn grfu df nflfs. "u n nunftn pf tun, spun tu. Ncfst lucru fstf drfpt. "u ftn funrtf ffrncnt df ncfst lucru, tf nucurn ntuncn cnd drngustfn tn fstf nccfptnt, tf nucurn df zmnftul df mulumnrf nl cflunlnlt, snu nu( *n, nm spus fu, Ncfst lucru fstf ndf!rnt!

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Ndf!rntn drngustf nu nrf nf!unf df succfs! Fn sf nucur dunr df fnptul c puntf nunn. Fn nu ntfnpt nncn u rfncnf. *nc tu tf nucurn ntuncn cnd drngustfn tn fstf nccfptnt, ntuncn ftn nutumnt trnst, dnc fn fstf rfspnns, snu nu( *n, nm spus fu, ncfst lucru fstf drfpt! *nr dnc tf fncf ffrncnt dunr fnptul, c nn !unf s dnn drngustf, fr s cnun succfsul( Ntuncn fu nu mnn put fn nfffrncnt! +fzn tu ncum dnffrfnn( *nc nm nunn nun cn n mn urntntfn unmfnnlur, ntuncn nr fn cfrul un ndf!rnt nnd! &lnn df trnstff n suprnrf! )t df dfs nlung unmfnnn drngustfn nunstr( )t df dfs fstf nruscnt *umnfzfu( Fl nr fn prnn urmnrf cfn mnn nfffrncnt crfntur dnn ntrfngn crfnnf! Nntr-ndf!r, drngustfn fstf cn un numfrnng! *nr dunr drngustfn nnsulut n nfmrgnnnt. *nc f,nst nntfnnn, s ntfpn cf!n n schnmn, ntuncn nu fstf nun prnncnpnul. *nr drngustfn, cnrf pur n snmpul nunftf numnn, n utur, cnrf fstf dunr n utur, pfntru c cfllnlt nrf nf!unf df fl, dunr pfntru fnptul c f,nst ncfn pfrsunn, ncfnstn fstf ntuncn drngustf ndf!rnt. *unr fn fncf ffrncnt pf !fcn, n urncf trnstff n nn sfrntul. Ncfnstn nu nsfnmn, c nun suntfm urnn n nu putfm !fdfn suffrnnn. )hnnr dnn cuntr! *nc un cupnl sf nccndfntfnz grn!, df rfgul puntf unul dnn nfnr, cnrf sf cuncfntrfnz nsuprn cupnlulun, s-l n utf mult mnn nnnf dfct mnmn, cnrf fstf cuprnns df trnstff n df durfrf, n cnrf trfnunf s sf luptf cu pruprnnlf fn sfntnmfntf. ' pnuz lung m-n lsnt snngur cu sfntnmfntflf mflf. )f tnnm fu dfsprf drngustf( )f tnu unmfnnn df fnpt dfsprf drngustf( Nu f,nst prunnnnl un nlt cu!nt cnrf nrf nttfn pusnnnlntn. )f tf nucur mnn mult, s n un pf unul snngur, snu pf mnn muln( &f mnn muln, nnnfnflfs! Mnchnfl zmnfn n ncfst lucru fstf grfnt. Fstf unul mnn nfnmpurtnnt dfct mnn muln( Fnfcnrf fstf ln ffl df nmpurtnnt cn cfllnlt. Nu fstf nn cn n ln mfrf, undf duu cntrfsc mnn mult dfct unul snngur. Fnfcnrf nrf fnnnn sn pruprnf. 0n tunt crfnnn nu f,nst duu fnnnf cnrf s fnf ln ffl. *f cffn fstf nmpurtnnt fnfcnrf. *nc nr fn tun ln ffl, ntuncn nn n!fn tu drfptntf. )nncn nr fn ntuncn mnn nmpurtnnn dfct unul snngur. *nr fnfcnrf fstf nltffl, n fflul su fstf df nfnlucunt. *nc tu nn un cfns cu cnncnzfcn df rutnf, n tu nlturn dunr unn snngur, ntuncn cfnsul nu mnn funcnunfnz. &un tu ntuncn s spun, c cflflnltf pntruzfcn n nuu df rutnf sunt mnn nmpurtnntf dfct ncfn unn( )u sngurnn nu! nnf nnnf mnntf cf n spun- fnfcnrf fstf nmpurtnnt, ln ffl cn urncnrf nltul. n *umnfzfu nu lns pf nncn unul s sf prpdfnsc. Nncn mcnr unul! *nr !n fn nf!unf ln unnn df ustfnfln mnn mnrn, s-n nducn nnrn pf cnlfn cfn nun, dfct ln nlnn. *nc tu n nrn numnn unun snngur um cnlfn cfn drfnpt, n n!ut !nnn tn cfl mnn mnrf sfns, n tu nu ftn cu nnmnc mnn punn !nluruns n nu nn nfptunt cu nnmnc mnn punn, dfct dnc nn fn n utnt tu cnncnzfcn df unmfnn. *umnfzfu nu fstf un nfgutur df nnnmnlf. Fl nu punf fnptflf pf cntnr, Fl nu msunr n =nlugrnmf snu n chnntnlf. Fl msunr dunr drngustfn, pf cnrf tu nn f,pfdnnt-u. Numnn pfntru ncfnstn ftn tu rfspunsnnnl. %uccfsul, pf ncfstn ls-l n sfnmn lun *umnfzfu. Muln fufnz n ncfnstn. Fu tf-nm dus nlnlt-nfrn n mfdnntnnf ln dunmnn Hnfgflnnufr. "u nn ncfrcnt s-u nlnnn. Fn fstf un f,fmplu df f,cfpnf pfntru ncfnstn. Fn sf plngf mfrfu, c nu f,nst nnmfnn, pf cnrf l puntf n utn. Fn nrf dunr numnn ussflf-ul fn. Fn nr !rfn cu ntt df mult drng s-n n utf pf tun unmfnnn, nr punf cu ntt df mult drng lumfn rfn n urdnnf n l nn!nnunftf pf *umnfzfu, c fl nu-n d nncn u ucnznf, s nfptunnsc fnptf mnn mnrn. n df nttn cumptnmnrf df snnf fn nu fstf n stnrf, s-n n utf Gussflf-ulun fn. Numnn pfntru ncfstn fstf fn nnumf nncn. Fl nrf nf!unf urgfnt df n uturul fn, fl sf dnstrugf, dnc fn fncf nstffl mnn dfpnrtf, n fn n-nr putfn dn nn df mult, c !nnn fn s-nr fn rfntnt df zfcf urn. Nngrn ftf-tf n tnmpul urmtur dnn cnd n cnd df fn, n ncfnrc s-n fncn ncfnstn lnmpfdf. Mnn f,nst nc tutun spfrnn n prn!nnn fn. )n !ur s uncf pf pustul df unmfnn cnrf mnuntfsc lumfn, sf cumplnc cn mnrn !urnnturn, n dfmunstrnnn n n clunurn, dnr nu !d, c ncfln, cnrf sf nfl lng fn, sf dnstrugf, pfntru c fn nu-l unsfr!, pfntru c fl lf pnrf mult prfn nfnmpurtnnt, pfntru c fn nu-l nunfsc, pfntru c fn n rfnlntntf sf nunfsc numnn pf fn nnn. tnn tu ncum, cf fstf drngustfn( &unn nnntut nm dnt fu dnn cnp. Nu fnn trnst. n pfstf ncfst unstncul !fn mnn trfcf tu nc, ntrfngn !fnncnf sf nfl n fnn tn. Nncn fu nu nm tfrmnnnt cu n!turn. Nnmfnn n-n tfrmnnnt !rfudnt cu n!turn. *umnfzfu fstf ntt df nfmrgnnnt, c !fnncnn nu fstf ndfn uns, pfntru n-$ cuprnndf pf dfplnn. *nr ncfnstn fstf chnnr pnrtfn frumuns. &lnctnsfnl nu f,nst nncnudnt. n n!nrfn n muncn nu sunt, cn pf pmnt, lfgntf df ustfnfnl. % n!m n s muncnm fstf cfn mnn nnlt nucurnf pfntru nun. *nc tu nn nflfs drngustfn curnt, ntuncn put fu ncum s-n rspund ln ntrfnnrfn tn- "u ftn df mult df n mult mnn dfpnrtf dfct Nnnndn 2nmn. Nfncrfztunrf m-nm untnt fu ln fl. )um fstf pusnnnl ncfnstn, dfunrfcf fl nfptunftf tutun nn df mnrn fnptf, dfunrfcf fstf fl nn df nflfpt n nun.( "u gndftn df n nnrn ntr-un mud curnt umfnfsc. Nu dup nflfpcnunf trfnunf tu s tf ustfnftn, nu dup fnptf multf. "u trfnunf s-$ nunftn pf *umnfzfu mnn mult dfct pf tnnf nsun n pf nprunpflf tu cn pf tnnf nsun! Ncfnstn fstf tutul! Nstn nsfnmn ns, unt-tf mnn ntn, cn tu s n ungn ln *umnfzfu. Nnsus 7rnstus n numnt cnlfn- Fu sunt cnlfn. Nnmfnn nu puntf n ungf ln "ntl dfct prnn Fnul. *nr, cn df unncfn, nu sf mulumfsc unmfnnn cu cffn, cf cntfsc fn, fn trfnunf s schnmnf nmfdnnt sfnsul. )u ncfnstn nr fn !urnn dfsprf .cuntnfnn lun 7rnstus/. 7rnstus, ncfstn nm fn nun tun, ncfstn nr fn prnncnpnul drngustfn n mnn multf nltflf. Nu! Nnsus spunf funrtf clnr- Fu sunt cnlfn! n Fl s-n rfffrnt ln ncfnstn tf,tunl. )nnf !rfn ntr-ndf!r s n ung

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ln *umnfzfu, cnnf !rfn s unnn ndf!rnt stnrf df cupnl nl lun *umnfzfu, ncfln trfnunf s mfnrg cnlfn prnn Nnsus 7rnstus. ' nlt cnlf nu f,nst! n ncfnst cnlf sf puntf gsn numnn pf pmnt. )nnf n-n gsnt-u nncn, ncfln n-u !n gsn nncn .dnnculu/! 'nnn nugn n sfnnn, fn nu rfunt funrtf multf, fn nu n uns funrtf dfpnrtf, dn, fn put fnn funrtf nprunpf df *umnfzfu. Fn nu muncnt mult pfntru ncfnstn, nu lunt multf nsuprn lur, nu ndus multf frtff n nu trnt multf lnpsurn n rugcnunf n cnn. Fn nu ndunnt funrtf mult nflfpcnunf. *nr ultnmn u n-u put dfschndf dnn pruprnn putfrf. &f fn u dfschndf Nnsus 7rnstus dunr ncflurn, cnrf l rung umnln pfntru ncfst lucru. Ncfstn fstf cfl mnn mnrf sfcrft nl ntrfgnn crfnnn. Nnnndn 2nmn s-n dfz!ultnt funrtf dfpnrtf. Fl nrf df n df mult ncfnst prfsnmnrf. Fn l-n ndus nncn. *rngustfn lun fstf nn df putfrnnc, fn l !n ducf ntr-un tnmp scurt snu lung ln Nnsus 7rnstus. *nr ncfnstn trfnunf s fnf dfcnznn lun lnnfr. %-l unlngf sprf ncfst lucru, nu nrf nnmfnn !unf. Fl nsun trfnunf s mfnrg cnlfn ln Nnsus 7rnstus. Fl prnmftf ncflfnn n utunrf cn fnfcnrf. *fcnznn trfnunf ns s-u prncnnunnsc !unnn lun lnnfr. Multur unmfnn nflfpn lf fstf funrtf, funrtf grfu, s sf nplfcf n umnlnn. *f ncffn nu fstf nncn ncfnst cnlf cfn mnn uunr. *nr Nnnndn 2nmn !n rfun ncfst lucru. Ncfstn !n fn n succfsul tu. Nnrn m-nm untnt ln fl nfncrfztunrf. Fl tf-n !nzntnt ndfsfn, !un suntfn df n df mult tnmp lfgnn cu u lfgtur putfrnnc n drngustfn. %mfrfnnn tn n supunfrfn tn ndnc fn df Nnsus 7rnstus nu culurnt pn ln cnpt nsuprn lun n sunt n mumfntul, df n-n dfschndf uchnn. +fzn tu ncum, cf fstf drngustfn( Fr n n!fn nntfnnn df succfs, nducf fn u mnnunf dup cfnlnlt ln suprnfn. Nu df nflfpcnunf nn tu nf!unf. *nc *umnfzfu nr fn numnn nflfpcnunf, Fl n-nr fn ndus nncnudnt crfnnn $un ln !nn. Fl nr fn df!fnnt un fnluzuf snngurntnc n s-nr fn nucurnt df nflfpcnunfn %n pn n tuntf !fnncnnlf. Nu! *umnfzfu fstf nunnrf! n drngustfn nu-n u tnnn n duhulun. *rngustfn nu ducf cu!ntrn nflfptf. *rngustfn puntf fn numnn trnt. *rngustfn sf rspndftf mfrfu, ccn, nltffl, fn nu mnn fstf drngustf ndf!rnt. n s sf rspndfnsc puntf drngustfn numnn ntuncn, cnd fstf cnnf!n, cnrf puntf s-u prfnn. %nngurul lucru pf cnrf *umnfzfu l !rfn df ln nun, fstf, cn nun s-$ nunnm dnn !unnn nunstr lnnfr n dnn tunt nnnmn. Fl nsun n ndus ncfnst drngustf n lumf. n numnn prnn Fl, prnn Nnsus 7rnstus, puntf fn unnnut ncfnst cfn mnn nnlt drngustf. Nnflfpcnunfn nf !n n!n ntuncn *umnfzfu. Nntrfngn !fnncnf st ln dnspuznnf pfntru ncfnstn. Ncfnstn fstf cnlfn! )utnn mnn ntn mprnn lun *umnfzfu n drfptntfn $un n tuntf ncfstfn sf !ur ndugn !uu. Numnn ncfnstn cuntfnz! Nnmnc nltcf!n! Muln cu u crfdnn putfrnnc trfnunf nstzn s sf mnn lnsf nnt ucurnn, dnn cnuzn .snmplncntnn/ lur. Fn nu sf ustfnfsc dup dftfptcnunf n cunutnn umfnfnsc. Fn crfd pur n snmplu n nunfsc n tunt smfrfnnn. Ffrncnn cfn srncn cu duhul, c n lur fstf mprnn cfrurnlur! Nnumf- ffrncnn ncfnn, cnrf crfd smfrnn, fr cn s trfnunnsc mfrfu s ntrfnf df ndnt sfnsul tuturur lucrurnlur! &rn!fghfnn, n spus Nnsus. n %ntnn dfnnf cununtfrf n mnrf putfrf. n rul fstf n stnrf s nfptunnsc mnnunn n lucrurn mnrn. *nr un snngur lucru nu puntf- s nunfnsc! &fntru c ntuncn nu mnn fstf fl ru! )t df multur unmfnn lf fstf nstzn grfu, s sf ntnfzf df nnsfrnc rfspfctn! s sf sunurdunfzf, ln cnrf multf lucrurn sunt pf dus. Muln prsfsc mnn dfgrnn ntrfgul ndf!r, dfct s suffrf unflf lucrurn, cf nu sunt curfctf. Fn nu rfnlnzfnz, c sntnn n ptruns df n df mult n nnsfrnc n n nfnurucnt-u pnrnnl ntr-un mud funrtf urt. *nr tucmnn ncfnstn fstf tutun du!ndn pfntru mprnn lun 7rnstus. %ntnn nu fncf nncnudnt cf!n fr sfns. Fl n-nr ncfrcn cu tunt putfrfn, s dnstrug nnsfrncn, dnc fl n-nr tn f,nct, c fn n !n frngf ntr-u zn gtul. %fr!ncnul sfcrft tutun nu spnunfnz df rfgul prnftfnul. Nu, dnr n gu!frnul dumnn ptrundf fl n ncfnrc s n ung n cflf mnn nnltf pusturn! n dnc fl s-n fcut stpn pf un gu!frn, ntuncn tutun nu dnstrugf gu!frnul pn ln munrtf. %f ncfnrc mult mnn mult, s fnf ndfprtnn snnuturnn n s sf rfstnnnlfnsc nnrn strn urdunntf. *nc cnnf!n fstf nulnn!, n !un l ducfn ln ductur, ntuncn fl dunr nu-l umunr df tut, cn ncfnrc s-l n utf! *f cf nu fncfn !un cu nncfrncn tut nn( Fn sf nsfnmn cu u curnnnf, cnrf s-n gurnt n nmfnn s sf scufundf. *nc tun lnulnlt nr n utn, nr fn rfpfdf rfpnrnt lucul cu prncnnn, n curnnnn nr putfn s-n cuntnunuf clturnn fn. 0n luc df ncfnstn sf scnp fr mnntf muln n nrcnlf df snl!nrf. Numnn c - rmul sngur nu-l n ung fn nstffl nncnudnt. Furtunnlf !nfnn n fnc pf cfn mnn muln dnntrf fn s sf scufundf! *nr df cf pfrmntf *umnfzfu, cn muln dnntrf cupnnn $un s fnf nlungnn nfnr dnn nnsfrnc( *f cf nu nntfr!nnf Fl( &fntru c *umnfzfu nu-n ncnlc nncnudnt pruprnnlf %nlf lfgn! *nc Fl nr nntfr!nnn dnrfct, nr dnstrugf Fl tutun !unnn lnnfr n unmfnnlur. Ncfnstn n-u puntf Fl !rfn nncnudnt. *nr Fl ncurd nn df mult sprn nn! n nncn nu sunt ncftnn AncB cupnnn $un, cnrf sunt nlungnn nfnr. )upnnn $un l cunusc n l nunfsc. n drngustfn nccfpt n umnlnrn, fn puntf supurtn multf n puntf s trfnc multf cu !fdfrfn. Ncfnn cnrf sf snmt dfrnn nn df tuntf, ncfnn cnrf crntnc n cundnmn tuntf, ncfnn nc nu nu drngustfn. Fu dunr n crfdf, dnc ..., ncfnstn n-u spunf drngustfn nncnudnt. n numnn fn fstf ncffn, cnrf cuntfnz. *nr cnd!n udnt sf !n ntunrcf fnfcnrf. &nldn dfsprf fnul pnfrdut, ncfnstn fstf !nlnnnl pfntru fnfcnrf. 'nnn trfnunf mult tnmp s pftrfnc ntrf strnnn, pn cf fn rfcunusc pruprnn nfputnn n sf rfnturc n smfrfnnf n drngustf ln "ntl. *nr nu fnn df ncffn trnst. 'n sprf "nrl rmnf tutdfnunn dfschns! Fl n-u !n trntn nncnudnt! n nncn unul dnntrf fn nu fstf df ncffn mnn punn !nlurus! "ntl nu fncf dnffrfnnfrn! Fl l nunftf pf fnfcnrf dnntrf cupnnn %n ln ffl, nu fstf nmpurtnnt, ct df mult tnmp n fust fl ntrf strnnn. )nf !nnf ln "ntl, pf ncfln l !n prnmn Fl cu nrnflf dfschnsf. Nncnudnt nu-l !n pfdfpsn - snu chnnr s-l nruncf n fuc! +rfmfn, n cnrf n fust fl ntrf strnnn, ncfstn fstf tnmpul nfnurucnrnn, nl srcnfn, ncfnstn fstf u ndfn uns .pfdfnps/. %ntnn nu nscult cu drng ncfst

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mfsn . Fl n ncfrcnt df n dnntutdfnunn tutul, s l prfschnmnf n cuntrnrnul lun! n nn df muln sf lns cu plcfrf pclnn df fl. *n! *nr trfnunf tutun s f,nstf u pusnnnlntntf, s rupn stpnnrfn lun, s n sf dfslufnsc fnfcrunn ncfstf lfgturn lugncf. 'ntf, fu tf nm pf tnnf. Fr tnnf n-n fn n uns nncnudnt nn df dfpnrtf. *f cf n-nu tun un ngfr, cnrf n cunducf( Mnchnfl s-n untnt stupffnnt ln mnnf. Nu tnn ncfst lucru( Fnfcnrf nrf un ngfr! Numnn c nncn tu nu pun s !fzn nc tutul! Fnfcrunn n st un ngfr nlturn, tut nn cn n fu nf. n fnfcnrf nrf pusnnnlntntfn, s nn cuntnct cu ngfrul su. )fn mnn muln cupnn mncn mnn put nc s sf untf n lumfn nunstr. *nr, df ndnt cf fn put !urnn n put pu!fstn dfsprf ncfnstn, lf fstf scuns ncfnstn dnn cnp cn fnnnd u nnurfnl df fnntfznf. Mfrfu nnrn ncfrcm nun s nf fncfm unsfr!nnnln n lf dm unmfnnlur gndurn nunf. *nr dnc fn lf ndupt pf ncfstfn, ncfnstn sf nfl n !unnn lur lnnfr. *nc pf cnnf!n l lu!ftf cuntnnnn snu dnc !nn scrupulf, ntuncn sf nfl funrtf dfs ngfrul su n spntflf ncfstur lucrurn. *nr cfl mnn ndfsfn sunt sugfstnnlf lur pur n snmplu dntf ln u pnrtf, n tnmp cf nnsnnurnlf rulun sunt lncum prfluntf. %ntnn n rfunt, cn cfn mnn muln unmfnn s nu mnn crfnd n f,nstfnn nunstr. )um pun ncum s nsculn df cnnf!n, dfsprf cnrf sf crfdf, c fl nncn mcnr nu f,nst( %trfsul znlnnc, hntunnln n nflnnntfn mpnfdnc urncum urncf cuntnct cu lumfn duhu!nncfnsc. Nnumntf snrcnnn df prutfcnf n schnmn f,frcntm nun ntutdfnunn. &fntru fnfcnrf um. Nun prutf m trupul n sumn, cnd duhul mfrgf pf clturnf, nun rfspnngfm ntncurnlf rulun nsuprn !nfnnlur !unstrf, cflf multf nccndfntf .dnn ntmplnrf/, pf cnrf fl !n lf-n gtnt. Nns, ncfnst .snrcnn n ngfrulun pzntur/ fstf numnn pnrtfn fnrfnsc, mnn mnc n snrcnnnn nunstrf. "u nn n cnmfrn tn u ncunn ntrnnt, n cnrf un ngfr pzntur cunducf un cupnl pfstf un pud. Ncfnstn fstf u ncunn cu u nur mnnunnt. )nnf n pnctnt-u, ncfln n!fn un cuntnct nntfns cu lumfn duhu!nncfnsc. Fl putfn s-n dfschnd lnrg duhul su n putfn s-n nsufnsc uscnlnnnlf nunstrf, pf cnrf fl lf-n trnnspus n nmngnnf. Nncn fstf !urnn df pudul duhu!nncfsc, cnrf cn u crru ngust ducf dnnculu dnn lumfn mntfrnnl n mprnn lun *umnfzfu. Ncfnstn fstf snrcnnn nunstr pruprnu zns, mult mnn nmpurtnnt. )unducturn duhu!nncfsc !rfm nun s lf fnm unmfnnlur. Numnn c - nncn nrf tucmnn n !unnn lnnfr nntf cu!nnflf df spus. Nun nu n!fm !unf s f,frcntm nncn un ffl df cunstrngfrf. Nun lf-nm prncnnun nltffl unmfnnlur u pngun nrfpnrnnnl. &fntru c dnc !unnn nr fn rupt prnn cunstrngfrf, cfl lnnfr nr df!fnn pfntru tutdfnunn un scln!. Ncfnstn fstf chfnn sprf nflfgfrfn lumnn! n ncfnstn nf fncf snrcnnn nunstr nn df nfsfrnt df grfn. *nr tuntf cflf, cf lf cfrfn df ln nun, n!fm !unf s lf fncfm pfntru !un! "untf cf lf punfn ncrfzturn n mnnnlf nunstrf, lf !um rfzul!n pfntru !un. Ncfnstn fstf tut nn !nlnnnl pfntru lucrurnlf duhu!nncftn ct n pfntru cflf lumftn. +un nncn nu nf putfn fncf prfn mult munc, pfntru c munc n sfnsul !ustru, cnrf fstf lfgnt df ustfnfnl n df tnmp, nu f,nst tutun pfntru nun. )ffn cf ! fstf !uu ustfnfnl, fstf pfntru nun u nucurnf. )u ct mnn multf !un nf ncrfdnnnn, cu ct mnn mult nf lsnn s nfptunm, cu ntt mnn strns !n fn cuntnctul nustru ctrf !un. +un ! putfn lsn purtnn df usnlnnnlf nunstrf, n tuntf cflf, cf !un nn lf ncrfdnnnn, !ur fn nrnn ntf sprf nnnflf !ustru. Nnnfnflfs, sprf nnnflf !ustru! Ncfnstn nsfnmn ns dfsfurn- Nu nn, prfcum !un ! nchnpunn ncfnstn, nncn nfnprnt n tnmpul, pf cnrf l-nn gndnt !un pfntru ncfnstn. )nnf nrf prn!nrf nlnrg, ncfln !fdf cfl mnn ndfsfn nltf n mnn nunf cn, dfct ncfln, cnrf sf nfl mputmulnt n mlntnn. "untf cflf, cf trfnunf !un s lf fncfn, fstf s ! rugnn, s crfdfn, s n!fn ncrfdfrf n s f,frcntnn rndnrf. "ut nn cum fu nm fust mfrfu nlturn df tnnf, tut nn fstf ln fnfcnrf. )t df nntfnsn! !n df!fnn rflnnn, ncfnstn sf nfl numnn n mnn !unstr. % crfnd n nun n s tnf dfsprf nun, ncfst lucru l puntf fncf fnfcnrf, cnrf nf nmnfnz prunlfmflf snlf, nunnnd n cu ncrfdfrf, n !n nnf dnntr-u dnt rfzul!nrfn n mnnnlf snlf. N nntrn ntr-un cuntnct duhu!nncfsc cu nun, ncfst lucru sf puntf numnn n lnnntf, prnn rugcnunf n mfdntnnf n rndnrf. )t df mult f,frsnn !un, pfntru n n!n pfrffct u lnmn strnn( )t df muln nnn n!nn !un zn df zn, urf n nr( *nn prncnnn n cf ffl df scupurn mncn dfz!ultnn !un ctfudnt u fnfrgnf n pfrsf!frfn nmfns( n ct df mult tnmp n!fstnn !un znlnnc n curpul !ustru, pfntru n-l nntrfnn n n-l nfrumusfn( Nnmfnn nu-n !n pstrn trupul. 0n prnf nu sf mnn !d muchnn, nncn nu mnn dfrnn fnz rndurnlf. N-nr fn !rfdnnc n ustfnfnln, s-n rfzfr!fzn n fnfcnrf zn ctf!n mnnuntf, pfntru n nntrn n lfgtur cu *umnfzfu n lnnntf n rugcnunf n mfdntnnf( )u *umnfzfu n cu nun, cnrf ! cunducfm dup !unnn $un n ! ncumpnnnm pf cnlfn nsprf Fl! *f n n !nnn !unstr nctunl nn prnmn !un multnplu nnpun tnmpul pf cnrf !un l pftrfcfn n lnnntf. ' lucrnrf, pf cnrf u ncfpfn cu nun, rfuftf! Nnfptunrfn !unstr, ln cnrf !un ! rugnn dup n uturul nustru, nu !n fn fr succfs! )lturnn, pf cnrf u plnunn cu nun n ln cnrf nf lunn cu !un, nu sf !n sfrn n hnus! )fnrtn, pf cnrf nf-u ncrfdnnnn sprf nplnnnrf, fstf df n pf umtntf sfnrnt! Grn nlf !unstrf sf !ur rnsnpn n prunlfmf !unstrf !ur fn rfzul!ntf n umtntf df tnmp! )t df multf lucrurn fncfn !un, n crur succfs !un nu-l cununtfn, pf cnrf !un nu lf putfn !frnfncn( &f nun nf putfn !frnfncn! *f n dup un tnmp scurt! 'ndf fstf u !unn, nculu fstf n u cnlf, n crunn n lnpsftf !unnn, ncflunn nu-n fulusftf nncn cfn mnn lnrg cnlf! +fzn tu ncum, cum s-nu rfzul!nt tuntf( &fntru fnfcnrf fstf pnrcnt n fnn unn u mnnn. *unr s cunduc, trfnunf fl snngur! n dnc nn lns furnt muturul, snu dnc tunrn np n rfzfr!ur, snu dnc lf d !unf prnftfnnlur, s cunstrunnsc dnn run supurturn pfntru spun, ntuncn nu nrf !unf fl s dfn !nnn pf mnnn. *nc !rfn tutun s n ung ln cnptul prupus, trfnunf s mfnrg pf us drumul lung n plnn df unstnculf - snu s-n rfpnrf dnn nuu mnnnn. Fu nm fust ct sf puntf df ngruznt df cffn, cf fu nm nuznt mnn nnnntf. $n ncfst lucru fu nu m-nm gndnt. *f cf sunt unrf unmfnnn ntt df urnn( %ntnnn fstf ntt df dftfpt n df !nclfnn, n nnmfnn nu-n puntf n ungf ln nns n ncfst dumfnnu. Fl lf d unmfnnlur u nucnt df znhr, n n tnmp cf fn l df!urfnz cu lcumnf, lf fur fl mnnnn. *up ncffn spunf, c nu

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n f,nstnt nncnudnt !rfunn. n cfn mnn muln l crfd pf cu!nt. n muln n mnn nccfpt uffrtn, prnn cnrf sf sf lnsf dun u nucnt dnn drum! Fn sf lns lfgnn ln uchn df fl n nu unsfnr!, c fl n ducf n dnrfcnn upus! 'h, dnc nr tn fn, c ntrfg drumul nnrupt trfnunf s-l pnrcurg pf us! *nr trfnunf cn s tf pun prutf n n !rfun ffl. Nnnfnflfs c fstf pusnnnl! "u tf-nn prutf nt cu mnrf succfs. Nrmflf sunt- rugcnunfn, mfdntnnn - n drngustfn! Mnn nlfs drngustfn! 8 0n znun df rusnlnn m-nm mnuln!nt fu dfudnt ru df tut. ' tumunrf mnrf s-n furmnt n cnpul mfu. Nnupfrnnnl nu sups ducturnn. *nr drngustfn pf cnrf fu nm sdnt-u, n prnns flunrf. Mnnmn m-n lunt nmfdnnt dnn spntnl n m-n ndus lng fn ncns. Fn lucrn ncum dunr umtntf df zn, n n ncfl tnmp n!fn grn u !fcnn df mnnf. Mnmn n trfnunt s rfnunf ln fnurm df mult lucrurn, dnr ncfst lucru nu u mnn dfrnn n prfn tnrf. $ucrurn mntfrnnlf nu mnn nsfmnnu pfntru fn prfn mnrf lucru. Fn nu mnn cunsumn nlcuhul, chnnr n df fumnt s-n lsnt fn. Nu mnn frn nfcfsnr pfntru fn, dfunrfcf fn n-n gsnt lnnntfn. Nprunpf c nr fn nccfptnt chfmutfrnpnn uffrnt. *nr fu nm putut s-u fnc s nflfng, c fu nu durfnm ncfnstn. )hnnr n ducturul n nflfs ncfnst durnn. $n u nstffl df tumunrf nu sunt nnsflf n nn prfn mnrn, n fust prfrfn lun. &untf c nr trn punn mnn mult, dnr cu sngurnn nu !n trn mnn ffrncnt. *nc rmnf lng fn n u ngrn nn, n !n nmnntn cu sngurnn df ultnmnlf clnpf nlf !nfnn. *nc durfrnnlf !ur fn prfn mnrn, ! !un n utn ln urncf ur. Fu nm fust nucuruns c nm prnmnt un ductur nn df nflfgtur. )u tuntf c tnnm cf nsfmnn ncfnst nunl pfntru mnnf, n cu tuntf c m nucurnm n u nccfptnm cu rndnrf, n!fnm tutun punn frnc df cffn cf !n urmn pfntru mnnf. +ur fn unrf durfrnnlf ntt df cruntf( +un putfn unrf s rfznst( )u durfrn pfrmnnfntf frnm unnnunt, n fu putfnm s nfs ln cnpt cu flf. 0n prnmflf lunn frn df supurtnt, fu lunm dunr rnrfurn cnlmnntf. Mnmn sttfn df multf urn lng mnnf. Fn n n!nt s cumunncf cu mnnf n tcfrf. Fr cu!nntf, dunr cu snmurnlf. Fu frnm ntt df nucuruns s !d, ct df dfpnrtf n n uns fn. *f ln Nnnndn 2nmn n n!nt fn s sf rungf n s mfdntfzf, n fn n fust u flf! snlntunrf. Nun nf ndncfnm dfsfurn n lnnntfn spnrntulun n nf unfnm prnntr-u nnnd n drngustfn, nn cum nm cunuscut fu ncfnstn dunr ln tntn. "ntl mfu frn dfsfurn cu nun, n chnnr n mnmn putfn s-n snmt prfzfnn. *f ctf!n urn nm rfunt, s-u nnu pf mnmn sus, s-n nruncf ctf!n .prn!nrn/ n lumfn spnrntunl. )hnnr n frnnn mfn m !nzntnu unfurn. 0ncftul cu ncftul n ncfput n ln fn s sf tupfnsc durntntfn lur n s sf nmunnf nmngnnfn mntfrnnl. %chnmnnrfn mnmfn n-n pus pf gndurn. Fn nu unsfr!nt c nu st n fnn lur .u sur n rugcnunnn/, cnrf n ncfput s-n fnf frnc ln ntrnffs cnrf ncfnrc s snl!fzf, cffn cf nc sf puntf snl!n. +nnrnnnlf fn frn purf n ndf!rntf, drngustfn fn frn nun. Fn nu trfnunn s !urnfnsc multf, sf putfn snmn, sf putfn !fdfn pf chnpul fn. Mult s-n rugnt fn pfntru frnnn mfn, mult s-n gndnt fn ln fn. n .ln!nnn/ fn !n df!fnn ntr-u nun zn funrtf mnrf. 3 "rfnzfcn n trfn df nnn nm mplnnnt fu nfrn, n tnnm, c ncfnstn !n fn ultnmn mfn zn df srnturnrf. Fu frnm prfgtnt s sufr, frnm ffrncnt, c n!fnm !unf s ndnug n fu nucntn mfn - dnr frnm tuun nucuruns s tnu, c nu !un mnn fn pfnrtu mult tnmp lfgnt df ncfst curp. 'n culn!nfn frn df n dfschns, pnsrfn frn prfgtnt s znunrf, ntfptn dunr sfmnnlul. )u tuntf ncfstfn m npucn ctfudnt tfnmn! Mnchnfl m-n n!frtnznt df n dnn tnmp. Fnn ntfnt, mn-n spus fl, dunnnlf npnr dnn nuu! $n sfrnt mnn strngf nc u dnt %ntnnn mfnghnnn. Fl sf fulusftf df nfsngurnn, rfstul ncfln, cnrf sf nfl ntrf crfdnn n stnnn. Fu nm !zut prfn multf, nm trnt prfn multf, pfntru n dnspfrn. )hnnr n dup cf nu mnn n!fnm putfrf, s m rffugnfz ln Mnchnfl. *nr fu putfnm snmn nfpturnlf df nc, cnrf trfnunnu s m fnc nfsngur, n fu put s-n nflfg pf tun, cnrf sunt stpnnn df dunnn n chnnr dnc sunt crfdnncnun dnu nnpun n sf lupt cu frncn lur. *nr cnnn n n!nt pf !rfmurn nunf s sf rungf, !n putfn trfcf n pfstf ncfstf tfmfrn. Fu frnm nprunpf n ntrfgnmf pnrnlnznt n nu mnn putfnm nncn cu cfn mnn nun !unn s supurt durfrnlf, dunr cucnlmnntf tnrn. Fu df nnnn mnn putfnm s nghnt, mncntul n df!fnnt un chnn. "ut mnn dfs pncnm fu ntr-un sumn ndnc n nncuntnfnt. "ut mnn dfs !fdfnm fu chnpurn n !ns. *f unncfn frn ngfrn, cnrf m !nzntnu n n dfschndfnu cu tnndrff nrnpnlf lur dfnsuprn mfn. *nr mnn frnu n cnucnnturn nfgrf, cnrf sttfnu mnn ln dnstnn ln pnd, dnr cnrf nu rfufnu s sf nprupnf df ncfn ngfrn. Nntr-u nun zn nu !fnnt sprf mnnf trfn mnnunnn n mnrn ngfrn. Fn nu ndus n pfntru mnnf u pfrfchf df nrnpn. )n n fluturnn nf-nm urcnt nun n nfr n nm znurnt sprf sunrf. )fn mnn mnrf ffrncnrf m-n nnundnt pf mnnf. Ntuncn m-nm nturs fu, n nm !zut n dfprtnrf mnrf sun mnnf u cnmfr. Nntr-un pnt frn un curp ndurfrnt, cnrf sf nturcfn dnntr-u pnrtf n cfnlnlt df durfrf n cnrf sf luptn cu munrtfn. ' ffmfnf sttfn n plngfn nfn uturnt nlturn, n spntflf fn sf nflnu dun ngfrn, cnrf u cunsulnu. Ffmfnn s-n untnt n sus ln mnnf - frn mnmn mfn!

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Fu frnm ncfnn, cnrf sf zntfn nculu us cu munrtf! Nu frn un !ns! Fu nm fust flnnfrnt! Fu frnm lnnfr! n ntuncn nm !zut fu dnn nuu, mnn mnrf n mnn strlucntur dfct urncnd%unrflf! %unrflf mfu! Nnsus )hrnstus! &lnn df nucurnf n mulumnrf nm pncnt fu n gfnunchn. Fu nu nm murnt! Nu! Fu m-nm nscut! Mnchnfl m-n rndncnt, tntn n fust nculu mprfun cu surn Gnrcnn. Fu frnm nnrn ncns! Mnchnfl mn-n ntnns u cup cu cflf mnn mnnunntf fructf pf cnrf fu lf-nm !zut !rfudnt. Mnnc, pun n!fn nf!unf df u ntrnrf. )f ffl df fructf sunt ncfstfn( Flf n npnrnn. Fu lf-nm pstrnt pfntru tnnf. %unt fructflf pf cnrf tu lf-nn culfs pf pmnt. Mn n mn nm mfrs nun sprf cns, n dnrfcnn ncflfn lumnnn. 3333 FPNLUG LN N 2-N FDNNF "frnturnnlf spnrntunlf nu sf put nflfgf prnn cunutnn. *nn cuntr- df multf urn nf st n drum. Fncf pnrtf dnn curp n puntf pfrcfpf dunr cffn., cf n trnnsmntf cflf cnncn snmurn nlf nunstrf. Ncurdul cumun, cnrf n nflnt ncfnst cnrtf, m nucur funrtzf tnrf. ) nu mnn fust prnntrf flf rfmrcn crntncf, n chnnr !ucn cnrf sf mputrn!fnu, m-n mpnns sprf fnptul, df n f,plncn ctf!n lucrurn n ncfst fpnlug. Fu nm ncfrcnt s nrt nfmrgnnntn drngustf n lun *umnfzfu, cnrf cuprnndf pf tuntf fnnnflf n cnrf fstf cu mult mnn mnrf n cuprnnztunrf, dfct nun nf-nm putfn nmngnnn. Multf lucrurn puntf c sunt n rfnlntntf nltffl, nun nu putfm s lf pfrcfpfm cu nflfgfrfn nunstr mnc n lumfnsc. *unr )hrnstus ducf sprf "ntl, n Fl fstf drumul! *nr pf cnnf cunducf Fl, cnd n cum pf ncfl drum, fu nu put s m prunun ln ncfnstn. *unr un lucru tnu cu sngurnn- *uhul %u, *uhul %u sfnt, ndnf pfstf tut, chnnr n n nfnrn nnsfrncnlur. &rnn fructflf lur n !fn rfcununtf "rfnunf dunr cn s dfschndfm uchnn n s nf nmnntnm df cfn mnn nmpurtnnt purunc n %nNunnn-! ...! *unr nstn cuntfnz! Nu nf putfm nnrncndn n spntflf dugmflur, n lfgnnlur n n cundnmnrnnlur# *umnfzfu gsftf pf fnfcnrf, n dup ncffn l msunr prnn drngustfn ncfstunn pfntru nprunpflf su.! Nnsfrncn, spu!fdnnnn, sncrnmfntflf, ct df nfnsfmnntf sunt flf, dnc nu cunduc sprf umnlnn n sprf drngustf, n ct df mrff sunt ntuncn cnd nf dnu putfrfn, s crftfm n drngustfn lun )hrnstus! Fu lf mulumfsc n!turnnlur mfn spnrntunln. )ununtfrfn lur, rndnrfn lur n drngustfn lur mn-nu dfnschns drmul spnrntunl n cu ncfnst cnrtf tuturur cflurn, cnrf cnut s fnf umnln. 'ndf sunt strnnf cu!nntf n lntfrf, nculu putfm s mfrgfm n lnnntf n s snmnm !nnrnnnlf, cnrf sf nscund n spntflf cu!nntflur n s nf lsm dus df fn. Nfn nmnn Elfnn, nunfmnrnf 1?>>

*rngustfn lun *umnfzfu fstf tfmn prnncnpnl dnn crnnlf lun Nnn nmnn Elfnn ....nncn vurn df nnd .... nncn vurn df munr f Ncfstf crn sunt dnscursurn nfucntf dfsprf drngustfn lun *umnfzfu. Nfn nmnn Elfnn d n !nlfng pcntul df munrtf n tuturur rflngnnlur- &f *umnfzfu s-$ fnc um n !fnncn, nfmrgnnntn n pfntru nun nfnmngnnnnnln drngustf n %n s-u scurtfzf n s-u ngrdfnsc. Fl du!fdftf lnpfdf n pf nflfsul tuturur, df cf drngustfn lun *umnfzfu nu puntf n!fn mnrgnnn n nu sf uprftf nncn n fnn nndulun, dn mnn nlfs nculu fstf mnn f!ndfnt - nnnfnflfs dnc dugmflf nunstrf, nn!ndnn n durnnn nunstr df putfrf nu nf nchnd uchnn pfntru n !fdfn ncfnstn! )I2JN &FN"2' )'&NN *F N8FNGNMNN E$FNN !UN"F#FLF LFNN $ U"KN% LFN&DN ' mnnunnt cnrtf pfntru cupnn, cu 14 df unncfn nmngnnn dunlf dfsfnntf cu ncunrflf cnrf nu !r fsc dunr cupnnn. Fstf cnrtfn ngfrnlur pfntru cupnn. *fschndf uchnn pfntru lumfn spnrntunl n fstf cntnt cu ncfnnn plncfrf df cupnn n df nduln. !UN"F#FLF LFNN $ '(NN #UPN#ULUN Nl dunlfn !ulum n urncflulun $fnn, cu ncflnn nmngnnn.

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NFN) "FGFLF PU"#NLU" MN*+"F,N ' cnrtf pfntru cupnn cu !rstf ntrf > - >; df nnn. Nncn pu!fstftf Nfn nmnn Elfnn u pu!fstf drgu df nnnmnlf dfsprf un mnc purc mnstrf pf numf Nfn, cnrf frn df n dnntutdfnunn mnn nltffl dfct cfnlnln. Fl sf znntf cu multf lucrurn cnrf nstzn sunt ln urdnnfn znlfn, fr n n!n cf!n dnn flf. *n, n pn cnd df!nnf Nfn rfgflf purcnnlur mnstrfn, trfnunf s mnn trfnc pfstf multf n!fnturn ' cnrtf df rs -n pfntru n gndn. NN*U* #."N*+U* /N MNJLU#UL NU*+"U )nrtfn trnnsmntf u !fdfrf ndnc n lumfn spnrntulun- gndurn, rugcnunf, mfdntnnf. ' pnrtf prnctnc cunducf pns cu pns n pf nflfsul tuturur sprf u mfdntnnf crftnn ndnc.

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NFNJNMNN KLFNN N CUNUTN TU NGFRUL TU? 1 Frn nunptf, ntuncn cnd s-n nscut Nnrnnrn. Mftrn ntrfgn df nmfn nu ngrupnt ultnmflf rfsturn df drngustf pfntru nprunpflf sun flf. Frngul nnfn nrn cn un dfmun df tfmut n ghfnrflf snlf. Nunptfn n mncnt lumnnn, n spus u dnt Mnchnfl. n cu fl n dnsprut n cldurn. N rmns dunr frngul. Frngul nghfnt! Gfrul n zpndn nnundfnt nu dunurt df n df ctf!n znlf stlpul df curfnt ln pmnt. "fhnncn n fust n!nns# frn ntunfrnc n rfcf. $fmnflf n lumnrnlf fcfnu tut cf lf sttfn n putnn. %f upunfnu nupnn cu punn cldur, n lnnntf n nfunsfr!ntf sf nrdfnu n drngustf, fr n sf rftrngf n fr n spunf cf!n - n fr n ntfptn cf!n n schnmn. &rnn munrtf crfnu !nn prnn lumnn n cldur %nngurntnc n n lnnntf frn mncn cns n mn lucul zpfznn. Nncn u mun, nncn nu ductur nu n !fnnt, fn nncn mcnr nu nu ncfrcnt s n ung nncn. Frn grunznnc! ' putfrf cnudnt !runn s m strn!fnsc. Fu snmfnm frngul, n durfnm s m nturc. Mnchnflf, n ut-m! 'ndf rmnfn fl( Fl n prumns dunr, c nu m !n prsn. Mnchnfl! Fu nm fust strn!nt nn df pnrc m-nr fn npucnt nntf clftn df ufl. )f n fust pn ncum pfntru mnnf scut n sngurnn, nmfnnnn s m dnstrug. *nr cf!n nu n lsnt cn ncfnstn s sf ntmplf. *f n nm nntrnt ntr-un tunfl strmt, n ln cnptul ncfstunn pndfn frngul. ' frnc df pnnnc m-n npucnt. Fu ncfrcnm s m mputrn!fsc, fu !runnm nnpun. *nr prfn trznu! Fstf un nnnt(

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+ucfn fr tun n mnmfn mflf n mnn lsnt luc punn curnuzntnn. "rfnunn cfl punn s fn fust nnnt. "ntn nu n rspuns. Fl m nnfn nfn uturnt n mnnnlf snlf mnrn, prutfctunrf. Fu frnm fnpn, nu frnm n stnrf s m mnc. Nncn un strngt, nncn u nnhnlnrf, nnmnc. Frngul n ctngnt. Fstf munrt( Fu nm nuznt dnn nuu u !ucf munutun# dup ncffn m-n cuprnns nnrn ntunfrncul, ndnc, nunptfn fr sfrnt. Fu znurnm cn u pnsrf, cn un mnc culnnru, cu hrnncnf df ln u flunrf df lutus ln nltn. $ncul frn mpnznt df nuffrn, sunrflf lumnnn n nclzfn, nrurn df nnurn mncn sf dfsprnndfnu dnn nnrnn udnt df ruu. ' unpt ncfnt ntfn pf ln fs, suflnrfn lun *umnfzfu sf udnhnfn pfstf tut. *fudnt n scunpnt fuc pmntul dnn fnn mfn. %unftul nsurzntur mn-n rupt pur n snmplu urfchnlf. Mnrusul df sulf sf snmfn, dnn grunpn df pf pmnt nsfmntunrf n unun crntfr n znurnt dnrfct sprf mnnf u urnn cnucnntunrf. Nrnpnlf fn urnnf mn tnnu urncf pusnnnlntntf df scpnrf. Frncn m sugrumn, curznlf !ucnlf n ncftnu nctn!ntntfn n n lsnt s munr nptul mfu df frnc. *up ncffn nu n mnn fust nnmnc. 'n nnmnc ndnc, ntunfcnt. *urn mult, mult prfn mult. )nd curpul mfu sf unnnunn df n ncftul cu ncftul cu munrtfn, nu ncfput dnn nuu s-mn lucrfzf plmnnn. *nr lnpsn df u,ngfn n lsnt df n urmf ndncn n crfnfrul mfu. Ncum frn lnmpfdf- Fu nu !un fn nncnudnt .nurmnl/. Mnchnfl n spus-# +n fn funrtf grfu, dnr tu nu !fn rfgrftn. )t df dfs m !un mnn gndn fu ln ncfnst prupuznnf! Fu nu-n nflfgfnm nc sfnsul. Ncum frn lnmpfdf, df nfcuntfstnt. Fu frnm nsfmnnt, u !nn ntrfng !un fn hnndncnpnt. Mnchnfl, n ut-m! )f m !n ntmpnnn( +un putfn fu unrf rfun( +un fn fu unrf !rfudnt ffrncnt( Nm s put n!fn fu snngur grn df mnnf snu !un dfpnndf u !nn ntrfng df nun!unnn nlturn( 0n mnrf tnnm fu df n cf sf !n ntmpln. Mnchnfl n !urnnt tutul cu mnnf, m-n n!fsflnt, mn-n dnt curn . "untf hnltflf nmpurtnntf dnn !nnn mfn, mn lf-n f,plncnt, sfnsul lur, pusnnnlntnlf n tuntf nnsflf. +n fn grfu, n spus fl, n fu nm fust df ncurd. *nr tuntf ncfstfn s-nu ntmplnt n mprf urrn lnnntntunrf. Fr nf!unf, fr nuln, fr suffrnnf, dunr ffrncnrf n drngustf n nnundfn. N fn putut fu unrf s-mn dnu sfnmn ntuncn, cf m ntfptn df fnpt, nncn( Nm fust fu n stnrf, s m gndfsc ln ncfnst !nn, s snmt mcnr cum fstf fn( Nmnntnrfn ncfnstn s-n tfrs. *nn cf n cf mnn mult plfn, nmngnnnlf df!fnfnu nfclnrf. )n nntf nucn df cfn mnn nprfnu flf dnn lncul untrnn, pfntru n sf dfstrmn nmfdnnt df chnnurnlf !nfnn. n nn frn funrtf nnnf. Nu nr fn fust pusnnnl nltffl, s fncn fn unfn !nfn plnn df nfn unsurn, dfznmgnrn n dnsprfunrn. Nncnudnt nu nm mnn fust fu nn df snngur, nn df nfn uturnt. "rupul n spnrntul s-nu unnt, zdrunnt n mpnns df ctuflf mntfrnfn, df nlfstfmul rulun. Nncnudnt nu m-n mnn ntnns cu nttn putfrf, dfct ln nntfrfn mfn, nmngnnfn cdfrnn dnn pnrndns. &untf s fnf !rfun cuntrnst mnn mnrf( *rngustf n cldur nfmrgnnnt, lnnntf fr lnmntf, n!luntf ntr-u mnrf df tnndrff n nnundfn, znurn u ntlnf cu u fur df nfnmngnnnt. Nmprf urnrfn cnrf mnn nnnntf n fust nn df prutfctunrf, df!nnf un dfmun, ncfnrc s strn!fnsc mncul curp n l fncf s sf zgudunf cn un mnc cutfrmur. )u fur fstf fl mpnns sprf ncfl cnnnl, cnrf cunsducf nfnr n frng, n ngntnnf n nflnnntf. %pnrntul snmtf, c lnnfrtntfn sn sf dfstrnm. *unr cu grfu sf prfd fl n nchnsunrfn curpulun, tnnnd nnnf, c un df cflul !n rmnf pfntru fl mult tnmp nchns - rfnnut n curpul unun nuu nscut, mpnns sprf nfn uturnrf. %nu nn cum fstf n cnzul mfu, cu un curp cnrf nu fstf pfrffct n trfnunf cn s rfnun ln dfz!ultnrfn nurmnl. Mnchnfl mn-n spus u dnt, c nntfrfn sf numftf n &unrtn !nfnn. &fntru mnnf fstf munrtfn spnrntulun, u munrtf grunznnc n chnnuntunrf, dup cnrf dfsfurn urmfnz nunptfn, frngul n nftnnnn, cu dunr un mnc punct df lumnn n dfprtrn. )n un nun prnftfn sf nfnz !nlul untrnn pfstf suflft, cn nntf fulgn df zpnd, cnrf u n!lunfsc dnn cf n cf mnn tnrf. )cn dunr sun u ptur df nfn gruns fstf df supurtnt !nnn, df!nnf pusnnnl s n!fn n s strngn f,pfrnfnf. *unr nncn puntf s crfnsc spnrntul, pn cnd !n strpungf nfnun pf tnmp df prnm!nr cn un crucus n cu gtul lnrg dfschns !n nfn dnn sunrflf dnmnnfnn. Nmn pnrf ru, dnr tnn funrtf nnnf, zpndn n frngul, nu n fust pusnnnl, fu nu nm putut s !nn. Fu tnu! Mnn mult nu n spus tntn. &f fnn sn sf putfn !fdfn nflfgfrfn n trnstffn. $n rf!fdfrfn, dumnul ductur. 2fflf,flf sunt dfrnn ntf, curznnlf !ucnlf sunt pnrnlnzntf, tut curpul fstf munlf n nu rfncnunfnz n nncn un ffl, n spus fl. )upnlul trfnunf dus df ndnt ntr-u clnnnc spfcnnl, mnf mn fstf nmpusnnnl un trntnmfnt. )u un hnndncnp mnrf !n rmnf n urncf cnz. N durnt znlf ntrfgn pn cnd n fust pusnnnl un trnnspurt pn ln clnnnc. "ntn sf ucupn df mnnf cu u drngustf nfmrgnnnt. Mnmn n fust nltffl. Furnn, suprnrfn n trnstffn nu mpnfdncnt rffncfrfn fn nmfdnnt. Nmputrn!nrfn fn frn nn df mnrf, c nu n durnt mult tnmp n n-n sfcnt lnptflf. Ncum n nlucunt tntn n pf mnmn. Fl m schnmnn, mn fncfn nnnf m hrnfn cu cfn mnn mnrf grn n tnndrff. Nrnflf n mnnnlf snlf mn nnpunnu punn dnn sngurnnn pnfrdut. Fu n mulumfnm cu strlucnrfn uchnnlur mfn, n fl n nccfptnt ncfnstn n tcfrf. *f cf m-nn uprnt ntuncn, cn s nu ntrfrup snrcnnn, cnd fu nm n!ut ru ful! )n u snnnf nscunt n znurnt ncfst rfpru prnn nfr. Fn trnftf. "ntn nu !urnfn nncnudnt mult. )f !nnt trnftf! +n fn nfputnncnuns, mut n nfmncnt. Nu !n fn n stnrf s sf ntrfnn snngur, !n fn dunr u pnfdnc nmfns. Nncnudnt nu !n putfn gustn dnn ffrncnrnlf !nfnn, prunnnnl c nncn mcnr nu fstf n stnrf, s gndfnsc lnmpfdf. &f !fcn nf !n fn grfu cu fn, n ncfnstn fstf dunr !nnn tn.

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tn tu unrf, cf nsfnmn !nnn(, n rfplncnt tntn lnnntnt. Nnc mnn crfzn tu, c !nnn cunst n fnptul, s tnn u purnf ct sf puntf df mnrf dnn turt, cnrf df fnpt fstf pfntru tunt lumfn( )rfzn tu, c ln sfrnt tf !n ntrfnn cnnf!n, ct df multf dnstrncnn nn n!ut( %nu ct df cunfurtnnnl nn trnt( +ucfn sn nrmunnuns nmflnurn durfrfn, cnrf m strpungfn. )tf urf n znlf nm trnt fu cu frnc ntuncn, cnd mnmn n !rut s ntrfrup snrcnnn. *ucturul n sftunt-u, n fn n fust ffrm dfcns pfntru ncfnstn. Gndnn-! ln fnptul, c puntf fn hnndncnpnt! Nu fncf ncfnstn, tf rug fu, lns-m s trnfsc. Nnsfnmn mult pfntru mnnf, ncfnst !nn. Nm nf!unf df ncfnst f,pfrnfn, fn m !n ducf mnn dfpnrtf. "f rug nu dnstrugf, cffn cf s-n cupt df n df mult. Nu mn strncn nnsn, tu nu nn nncn un drfpt. Fu n !un mulumn cu drngustf, ntt ct !un putfn. *umnfzfu tf !n rspltn, cu cffn cf nu put fu. 'rf n nr nm !urnnt cu fn, nm ncfrcnt, s trfzfsc drngustfn n fn, nflfgfrfn. Fn nncn mcnr nu m-n ngnt n sfnm. Fn nncn mcnr nu n !rut s fnf nprunpf df mnnf, nu n !rut s nnstnlfzf u lfgtur sprf mnnf. Fn luptn pfntru dfsprnrf, durfn s scnpf df mnnf. Nu putfn pur n snmplu s supurtf gndul, s fnf nnt ucurnt df nlnn. )u .u pnfdnc ln pncnur/. % fnf lfgnt, s trfnunnsc s-n schnmnf !nnn, s rfnunf. *nr tntn nu n lsnt-u. &f fl l-nm ntnns cu rugmnntfn mfn, fl frn cuntnfnt df sfntnmfntflf mflf, sf nndfntnfncn cu flf. Fu sunt funrtf nucuruns n mulumnt, c mn-n fcut pusnnnl ncfnst !nn nlturn df fl. ' pnnglnc tnrf n nunnrnn nf lfng pf nun, !un putfn supurtn cu mnn mult uurnn unflf lucrurn. 3 'nflf cfntrf nmpurtnntf nlf crfnfrulun sunt ct sf puntf df tnrn ntncntf. &fntru ductur frnm pur n snmplu un unnfct, cnrf fcfn pnrtf dnn .mfsfrnn/ sn. 'ntnn-! nncn! Fl m-n nfpnt cu sngurnn df !rfu duuzfcn df urn cu un nc df sus pn us. )nnf n spus c nu put snmn durfrfn, chnnr dnc curpul mfu nu fstf n stnrf, s rfncnunfzf nurmnl( Frn npru,nmntn! n zfcfn unr, n ncfstf ultnmf sptmnn n cnrf fu n trfnunt s ndur ncfstf chnnurn. n pfntru cf( %prf n!nnsnrfn n nnnf n strnn mflf nu n ut n urncf cnz dfluc. *unr u frnc ndnc s-n nscut n mnnf, cnrf s-n nrtnt mnn trznu, n n fust df nfnflfs pfntru cfn dnn urul mfu mputrn!n n tut cf nrtn n clnnnc n n ductur. Nfnumrntflf prunf df sngf, lumnnn rfcf n uchn, cunsultnnnlf nntfrmnnnnnlf s-nu ngrupnt ndnc n sun cuntnfntul mfu. tnu unrf ducturnn, cf sf ntmpl cu un cupnl, cnrf fstf nnut df pncnunrf n n sf d dfudnt drumul ln cnp( &fntru fn fstf cfl mnn nurmnl n mnn nfnmpurtnnt lucru df pf ncfnst lumf. *f zfcf, duuzfcn df urn nm n!ut !unf s f,frsfz ncfnst ncrunnnf. *f fnfcnrf dnt sf strngfn stumncul n dnnfrngmn, cu tuntf c curpul mfu nu frn n stnrf s rfncnunfzf dup cfrnnf. ' frnc fr mnrgnnn m cuprnndfn df fnfcnrf dnt, Fu durfnm s strng, fnfcnrf s nud dnspfrnrfn mfn, dnr curznlf mflf !ucnlf nu nscultnu n nn df sngnnlul nmpfrffct nl crfnfrulun mfu. )nnf putfn msurn, cf nsfnmn pfntru un cupnl, s fnc un flnc flnc pfstf npnrntul df rnzf, dup cf umndntntfn crfnfrulun n fust schnmnnt prnmn unr cu nfr n dup ncffn cu un mn luc nlucuntur( $n fnfcnrf mncnrf pnr s sf prnufnsc n cnp lnnurn ntrfgn df munn. )rfnfrul pnrc !rfn s sf spnrg - n fu nncn mcnr nu putfnm s znnfr. %ptmnn n nr sf dfzlnunnu nc n cnpul mfu furtunn, fr cn ncfstfn s dnspnr dffnnntn!. %-n gndnt unrf !rfudnt unul dnn ncftn ducturn, ln frncn df f,nstfn, ntuncn cnd curpul fstf cuprnns df duu nrnf n fstf mpnns ntr-un .tunfl sunnrf df rnzf/( %fcundflf df!nn urf ntrfgn. *f undf n nnu putfrfn, cnnf lf-n dnt drfptul, s sfnrmf suflftflf, n chnnr fr s punt !nndfcn trupurnlf( )nnf n nn!fntnt ncfstf mftudf nun df chnnunrf( )nnf lf-n lfgnlnznt( )nnf n schnmnnt gndnrfn n nnstntunnlf, prnn npnrntf gunlf, cnrf put s-l mpnrt pf un um n sutf df nucn n s nrntf dnngnuzn pfrffct, pfntru n-n fn urcrun ductur df fulus n tfrnpnf( %nngur - cu tuntf c fstf mult hfctnc. &rsnt - cu tuntf c ftn tut tnmpul sun unsfr!nnf. Nfn uturnt - cu tuntf c nn multf n utunrf n urul tu. Frn rcunrf n ntunfrnc. *unr punn lumnn nducfn surn Nfnfdnctn, crunn n-nm fust ncrfdnnnt df ctf!n znlf. )u tuntf c lucrn df fnfcnrf dnt pn ln fpunznrf, fmnnn lnnntf, cnrf pru!fnfn df undf!n dnn ndncurn. &fntru fn frn !nnn, drngustfn n n uturul tut ncflnn lucru. Fn sf prncfpfn, s nstupf multf rupturn n s m mpncf ct df ct dnn nuu cu ncfnst lumf. Fn n!fn n trfnurnlf fn, trfnunn s prnctncf n lucrurn nfplcutf, df f,fmplu s nn u prun df sngf snu s schnmnf !rfun nnndn . Fn fcfn ncfnstn df fnfcnrf dnt cu u scuz mut n nnnmn fn. %trlucnrfn n undflf fn m nfurnu n cldur n drngustf n nfutrnlnznu durfrfn ntuncn cnd ncfnstn sf furmn. $n fn tnnm c fstf nfcfsnr, fstf gndnt, n sf ntmpln ct mnn ntfnt pusnnnl. )nnf lf-n furnt unrf cflurlnn drngustfn( Nunptfn n nghnnt lumnnn. n ln stnngfrf n lunt n tunt cldurn cu snnf. N rmns dunr frngul. Ncfstf zfcf sptmnn n clnnnc nu fust dup nntfrfn mfn cfn mnn rfn f,pfrnfn. $n ncfst gnd nc mn mnn trfc pfstf spntf fnurn rfcn. 3

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"ntn m lunsf, mut n nflfgtur cn ntutdfnunn, ncun urnt cu strlucnrf df lumnn. Fl m-n lsnt s m cufund n fn, n lumfn s-n scufundnt n urul mfu. *nsprutf pf nfsnmntf nu fust urflf rflf, pncfn n nuntntfn dumnfnu. 'n !ns fr s durm m rpnsf, fu plutfnm nsfmfnfn unun !l df cfn n ntmpnnnrfn lumnnnn, m-nm scufundnt ntr-u cnscnd dnn mnn df scntfn df lumnn. Nmn fcfn nfsfrnt df nnnf. Nn!nurnt n ntrnt mnm nfznt fu pf u cmpnf, ncun urnt df mnn dnntrf cflf mnn frumunsf flurn. Nnnf mnrusntur, lnmpfdf, rcrus frn nfrul. Nnrnnrn! Mnchnfl sttfn lng mnnf. 0n mnrcmnntfn lun nln snmpl cu curfnun dnn pnftrf prfnunsf, mnc n ncnttunrf nfnnrfn, tnnfrfnsc, nprunpf punn trfngrfnsc fnn, nprunpf prfn tnr dup punctf df !fdfrf umfnftn. &f dfplnn tcut m lu fl n nrnflf snlf. *f ln nntfrfn mfn nu l mnn rf!zusfm. "u nn fust un tnmp ndflungnt plfcnt. Fu tf-nm strngnt, nu m-nn nuznt tu, nndnr( Fu tf-nm nuznt, cupnlul mfu, n fu tf nsngur, c nm fust tutdfnunn ln tnnf. *nr fu nu tf-nm !zut. Ncfnstn nncn nu putfnn tu. *nr n nnnntf tf-nm !zut fu tutun ntutdfnunn, dnc n!fnm dur fn df tnnf, fu nncn mcnr nu trfnunn s tf chfm u dnt. *nr ncum ftn tu pf pmnt n trfnunf s tf ncumudfzn cu lfgnlf lun. Flf sunt sf!frf, nfmnlunsf n df nfschnmnnt. Frn nfcfsnr, s tf lns snngur n ncfst tnmp. "u trfnunn s tf ncumudfzn, n!fnn funrtf multf df ntmpnnnt, nn putut s fncn df n funrtf multf f,pfrnfnf. $n ncfnstn frn nfcfsnr, cn tu s fnn snngur, fr nncur df snl!nrf. $n ncfnstn n-nr fn fust mnn uur, dnc tu nn fn fust prnn mnnf mfrfu nmnntnt df cf!n mnn frumus. *nr ncfnstn fstf numnn u pnrtf n lucrurnlur. Mnchnfl fcusf u pnuz lung. Nntr-ndf!r .s !nd/ put pf pmnt numnn funrtf punnn. 'nurn lf fstf ncfnstn nscut. &fntru fn fstf ncfstn un mnrf f,nmfn - fstf funrtf grfu, s fulusftn curfct ncfst dnr - , snu fn nu unflf snrcnnn prfcnsf. Nltffl fstf .!zul/ numnn ntuncn pusnnnl, dnc un um fstf n stnrf, s curflfzf uscnlnnn sn pf dfplnn cu uscnlnnn nunstr. Ncfnstn fstf ns mult mnn curnt n duhu!nncfnsc, cu nncn u mntfrnf mpu!rnt. Multf unstnculf sf nfl prnntrf unmfnn pf pmnt. 'n lucru numnn !rfnu fu s-n nrt df n nstzn, cfl mnn mnrf n cfl mnn grfu. Ncfstn fstf urn n tuntf snmmnntflf nrudntf cu ncfnstn, n!nnunrf, mnnf, lnps df drngustf. 'rn pruducf uscnlnnn cfn mnn usnnc, cfn mnn nspr, cfn mnn ndnc. Fn tf trngf n us n fncf mpusnnnl fnfcnrf cuntnct cu lumfn spnrntunl. 'scnlnnn fn sf puntf ndfsn nn df tnrf, c unnn unmfnn, ct df ct sfnsnnnln, put s u snmt df n curpurnl . Fn nu fstf, cf-n drfpt, mutn!ul fnfcrfn suffrnnf, cn u cunsfcnn n prnmulun mutn!, pf cnrf fu mnn trznu n-l !un f,plncn nc# dnr fn fstf cfl mnn dfstructn! sfntnmfnt n gfnfrnl. Fn dnstrugf tutul, nu-n lns drngustfn nncn cfn mnn nfnsfmnnt nns. n fu nm ncfput, s ursc tutul, cf fstf mputrn!n mfn. Mnmn mfn, clnnncn, ducturnn. "u !fzn ncum, c nu n fust drfpt. 'rn tf trngf n us ln nn!flul cfl mnn df us n cfl mnn dfns, undf lfgfn, cnrf fstf nnzn mntfrnfn, npnrf pf dfplnn sprf n fn purtnt. *urfrfn fstf unn dnn ustntncf, pfstf cnrf dnspunf mntfrnn. "f lu!ftf cfl mnn tnrf, dnc tf nfln pf trfnptn cfn mnn df us. *urfrfn nu fstf u mrnmf dnt dnnnnntf. Fn fstf cundus prnn nfr!n ln crfnfr, n df-nnnn nculu sf furmfnz sfntnmfntul df durfrf. Ncfstn dfpnndf ns df stnrfn, n cnrf sf nfl crfnfrul tu# n dfunrfcf gndnrfn fstf sunurdunnt snmulun - chnnr dnc ncfst lucru fstf nstzn nltffl n!nt n lumfn rnnunnl - , dfpnndf sfntnmfntul df durfrf mnn nlfs df stnrfn suflftulun nustru. 'nn n ncffnn durfrf, trnt n stnrfn df uscnlnnf n urnn, fstf nffgnlnt mnn tnrf snmnt dfct n stnrfn df uscnlnnf n drngustfn, n nflfgfrnn n n nfrtrnn. *f ncffn, dfcn, nu fust durfrnlf nn df nnsupurtnnnlf, nn df plnnf df !nulfn nrutnl! +fzn tu ncum, cf ffl df f,pfrnfnf nmpurtnntf nn fcut tu df n( "u nn cunuscut unn dnntrf cflf mnn nmpurtnntf n flfmfntnrf lfgn- *fpnndf df stnrfn suflftulun duhu!nncfsc, ct df ndnc tf nclcftn tu n mntfrnf. F,prfsnnlf suflftulun sunt sfntnmfntflf, n, nn!frs, stnnnlftn tu cu sfntnmfntflf tnlf stnrfn df uscnlnnf n suflftulun tu duhu!nncfsc. nnfn cn f,fmplu u pfndul n fnn uchnlur. )u ct mnn ncft uscnlnnz fn, dfcn, cu ct mnn us fstf stnrfn fn df uscnlnnf, cu ntt mnn uur df cuprnns df!nnf fn. )u ct mnn rfpfdf uscnlnnz fn, cu ntt mnn grfu fstf, s u cuprnnzn, pn tu ln urmn urmfn nu nn nnsulut df luc nncn u nns, pfntru c fn uscnlnnz nn df rfpfdf, c tu nu mnn pun s-u !fzn# fn n dnsprut dnn cmpul tu !nzunl. "utun n-nr !fnn nnmfnn pf ndffn s spun, pfnduln nu f,nst, pfntru c fu n-u mnn !d. )nlfn pfndulfn pn nncn s-n putut tutun urmrn. Fstf lugnc. $ugnc fstf ns numnn cffn, cf nun putfm nflfgf cu mnntfn nunstr n putfm s nf gndnm. "rfn cu trfn fnc nsf. Ncfnstn fstf tutun lugnc, spunf fnfcnrf. &fntru un cupnl mnc nu fstf ncfnstn nnsulut df luc lugnc, mnntfn lun nu fstf nc tucmnn nn df mnturnznt. *f ncffn fnc ns trfn cu trfn tutun nsf, chnnr dnc cupnlul nc nu nflfgf ncfnstn. *f ndnt cf umul fstf ns mntur, fstf fl df prfrf, c nr tn ntuncn tuntf. $n ncfnstn fstf rnnunfn umulun n cumpnrnnf cu cfn mnn nnlt cuntnfn cusmnc, ntuntfcunuscturul *umnfzfu, nncn mcnr un gruntf df nnsnp n dffrt. Nnnpun ln f,fmplul nustru- Nn cum pfnduln dnspnrf dnn !zul uchnlur tn, cnd fn uscnlnnz mnn rfpfdf, nn sunt n fnnnflf nn!nznnnlf, cnrf sf nfl ntr-u stnrf df uscnlnnnf mnn nnlt. 'n ngfr snu u fnnn duhu!nncfnsc puntf s sf n mntfrnnlnzfzf, cf-n drfpt, n nnumntf - funrtf rnrf - cundnnn n s nduptf cu ncfnstn u stnrf df uscnlnnf mnn uns. *nr df rfgul fstf ncfst fnpt tucmnn nn!frs- tu trfnunf s tf trnnspun ntr-u stnrf df uscnlnnf mnn nnlt, pfntru n putfn fncf lfgturn cu ncfstf fnnnf. )u ct mnn dfs!rnt n rfuftf ncfnstn, cu ntt mnn dfs!rnt !n fn n cuntnctul, cu ntt mnn dfs!rnt !fn putfn tu snmn unntntfn df fsfn n lur. Ncfnstn mfrgf ncfpnd prnn prfsnmnrn snmplf pfstf snmnrn n nuznrn pn ln !fdfrn, rfspfctn! n

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dfs!rnrfn sprf pfrsunnn dnn fn cu ncflfnn drfpturn. *nc !rfn tu n cunsfcnn s nntrn n cuntnct cu lumfn duhu!nncfnsc, ntuncn f!nt tutul cf n usftf stnrfn tn df uscnlnnf. $n ncfnstn npnrnnf pf lng sfntnmfntf n gndnrfn tn, nfptunrfn tn n nc mnn multf lucrurn# dnr dfsprf ncfstfn mnn trznu. *nntrf sfntnmfntf fstf urn cfn mnn df us. Fn tf nnf us, tf lfng tnrf n mntfrnf n fncf nmpusnnnl fnfcnrf ncfrcnrf, s tf dfz!uln mnn dfpnrtf duhu!nncfsc n suflftfsc. 'rmfnz ncum multf trfptf pn ln drngustfn curnt, nffgunst. )u fn pun tu s ptrunzn pn n cflf mnn nnltf cmpurn nlf lumnn duhu!nncftn, n dfs!rnrf pn ln trunul lun *umnfzfu. *rngustfn dfscunf tuntf purnlf, fn fstf %fznm-ul -dfschndf-tf nl lumnn duhu!nncftn.. )nd tu ncfpusfn ntuncn n clnnnc, s urtn tutul, tf-nn pus tu pf trfnptn cfn mnn nnffrnunr. "ut cf fstf nfgntn! n trfnunt df ncffn s tf lu!fnsc cu cfn mnn mnrf putfrf. Nunln fstf nl dunlfn, cu durfrfn nprupnnt nrudnt ustntnc nl mntfrnfn. "u pun prunnnnl s n prfsupun, cffn cf urmfnz ncum. $umfn duhu!nncfnsc nu cununtf nncn u nunl. )u ct mnn ndnc fstf stnrfn tn df uscnlnnf, cu ct mnn mult tu tf ducn dfcn n mnnnlf mntfrnfn, cu ntt mnn f,pus ftn tu ln ncfnstn. Nn!frs- tu pun s scnpn df fn, prnn ncffn c tu, cu n uturul sfntnmfntflur mnn nnltf, mnn nlfs dfcn cu drngustfn, tf mntn ctrf cmpul duhu!nncfsc. %fntnmfntflf tnlf sunt cn dfgftf pf hnrpn !nfnn. Flf ntnng curznlf, nlf crur mrnmn df nntunnnn dftfrmnn uscnlnnnlf suffltulun tu duhu!nn!fsc. F,frsfnz-tf n nntunnnnlf nnltf, curntf. 'scnlnnnlf lur nspnr ln nfmrgnnnrf. Mult tnmp nm mfrs nun nn tcun unul pf lng cfllnlt. *umnfn u stnrf df pncf, nprunpf ffstn!. %unrflf, cu tuntf c nu sf !fdfn nncnundf, rspndfn u lumnn df nsfrnrf cnld. Fl prfn s fnf pfstf tut, nncn u umnr nu n sf putfn mputrn!n. &rul cu npn lun lnmpfdf cn crnstnlul curgfn ncft n us. Nfrul frn plnn df u uscnlnnf spfcnfnc, suprnnnturnl, cnrf nu putfn fn snmnt numnn cu urfchnlf, cn cu tut curpul. 'n sfntnmfnt nfdfscrns df sngurnn m ptrundfn. Nnstnnctn! m-nm prnns strns df nsunturul mfu. Fstf u mnrf mnlustn!nrf, c fu nm !unf s tf nntruduc df n ln ncfputul !nfnn tnlf n ncfstf lucrurn, pf cnrf muln nc nu lf cunusc ln sfrntul !nfnn lur. Fstf ns n ncflnn tnmp n u mnrf rfspunsnnnlntntf pfntru tnnf. &rucfdfnz cunfurm ncfsturn, rspndftf lumnnn pf pmnt! 3 )nd fu m-nm trfznt nnrn, frnm df n ncns. 0n snl n n mhnnrf m nfn mnmn mfn, pfntru n m hrnn npun cu pnrfu df lnptf. &fntru prnmn dnt n-nm fust n stnrf, s-n dnu rfplnc ln furnn fn. +nsul mfu m nnfn nc pf dfplnn prnns. Frn un sfntnmfnt mnnunnt. Fu putfnm s-n ntmpnn lnpsn fn df drngustf cu drngustf, nnfnm dfpnrtf frngul cu cldurn. )n u plntu sf pusfsf fn prutfctunrf n urul mfu, n dnntr-u dnt nu mnn durfn frngul. 0n dfcursul tnmpulun nm n!nt fu, c nu trfnunf nfnprnt s rspunzn rfspnngfrfn cu rfspnngfrf n lnpsn df drngustf cu lnps df drngustf. Ncfstf sfntnmfntf nfgntn!f dur numnn ntuncn, dnc lf lnn s ntrf n tnnf. Numnn ntuncn put flf s rnfnsc n s pruduc rnn. 0n ncfl mumfnt ns, n cnrf sf rfuftf, s sf prfschnmnf, ncfnst fnfrgnf nfgntn! n s fnf trnmns nnpun cn drngustf, nu mnn fstf nncn un .rznun/ pusnnnl. 'n lupttur cu snnnn puntf s luptf numnn nttn tnmp, ct fl sf lu!ftf df mputrn!nrf. *nc lu!nturn lun sf ducf n nfnnt, !n ncftn fl df ndnt stupffnnt. ' mnngf df tfnns znunr numnn ntuncn nnpun, cnd fn sf lu!ftf df pmntul tnrf n pf dfnsuprn cnd fstf nlnmfntnt n nnrn lu!nt nnpun cu fnfrgnf nuu prnn putfrfn cflun cnrf lu!ftf cu pnlftn. Fn n pnfrdf tunt fnfrgnn, dnc sf lu!ftf df pmnt munlf n cnrf cfdfnz n dnc nnmfnn nu fstf nculu, cnrf s-u lu!fnsc nnpun. "ut nn sf ntmpl n cu urn n mnnn. Mnmn mfn n fust ntr-ndf!r funrtf stupffnnt, cnd fu nm ntrfrupt pfntru prnmn dnt ncfst .mnc rznun duhu!nncfsc/ ntr-un nsfmfnfn ffl. 'nrfcum, fn n-n mnn putut s-n dfscnrcf furnn fn nsuprn mfn. $n ncfnstn n trfnunt ns ntr-ndf!r srncul mutnn pftru s suffrf, cnrf chnnr n s-n strfcurnt ntrf pncnunrf nfprfsnmnnd nnmnc. *nr pnsncnlf pnr s fnf tnrn n n ndurn. $u!nturn df pncnur n-n prncnnunt ntr-ndf!r u clturnf n znur nfdurnt df mnn muln mftrn, nu n-n putut ns nncn mcnr unnnf un mnnu df durfrf. +nnn mfn n fust ln ncfput ct sf puntf df munutun. Mfn mfn nu sf prfn ngrn fn df mnnf, n chnnr n frnnn mfn, 7urst df dunsprzfcf nnn n 8nlln df zfcf nnn, n!fnu nltcf!n mnn nun df fcut, dfct s stfn n cumpnnnn .cnprfn prustnncf/. Ncfn cnpr prustnnc frnm fu. $nnntnt sttfnm fu tunt znun n culul mfu n prfnm s nu rfcfpnunfz prfn multf dnn mprf urrnlf mflf. Nu putfnm s !urnfnsc# pnrnlnznn n ntrufnnt curznlf mflf !ucnlf# fu !un rmnf pf !fcn mut. ' urfchf frn ntru tutul surd, cfnlnlt fucnunn dunr punn. Nrnflf n pncnunrflf mflf frnu slnntf, nfr!nn mfn nu !runnu s rfncnunfzf. 'n dfffct n sunstnnn fmntunrf, cnrf fncf pusnnnl cuntnctul ntrf nfr!n n muchn, n spus ducturul. ' nunl funrtf rnr *n, ct sf puntf df rnr, dnr fu trfnunn s m ncumudfz cu fn. % stnu nu putfnm, dfct ntuncn cnd frnm pruptnt, n mnmn dunr rnrfurn frn df ncurd cu ncfnstn. *f rfgul frnm culcnt pf u ptur mnc n cnmfrn df zn. *f fnpt nu frn un luc chnnr ntt df ru. Nnrnn fmnnn funrtf mult cldur sunn df nculu. Fu nunfnm funrtf mult cldurn. Fn nntrn n mnnf, m nclzfn ndnc nuntru, m umplfn cu tutul. Frn u cldur ndf!rnt, !nf, fmnnnt df lfmnul cnrf sf nrdfn pfntru ncfnstn. Fu m-nm gndnt dfsurn ln ncfnstn. *unr n!fnm tnmp sufncnfnt. )f sf puntf fncf ntuncn, cnd ftn cundnmnnt s stnn, pur n snmplu( Nnnfnflfs, fu durmfnm mult, cfl punn n

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prnmnn nnn. *nr cflflnltf urf( Flf durnu funrtf mult, ntuncn cnd nu pun fncf nnmnc, ctfudnt mult prfn mult. Fu frnm tutun mulumnt, c uchnn mfn nu nu fust ntncnn prfn tnrf. 0n cns !fdfnm tutul, nfnr n lumnnn strlucntunrf n!fnm dnfncultn. %fnsnnnlntntfn pfntru lumnn frn prfn mnrf, df multf urn frn nnflnmnt cun uctn!n n ncfst lucru frn durfrus. )nd nm prnmnt mnn trznu uchflnrn fumurnn, n df!fnnt sntunnn cu mult mnn nun. 'chnn mfn frnu prnctnc snngurul urgnn, cu cnrf putfm nntrn n cuntnct cu tut cffn cf m ncun urn. Fu putfnm urf n nr s m unt ln un lucru snu s m unt ln mutf snu ln flurn. 2ndnrfn fstf u trstur nmpurtnnt n mnrf n lun *umnfzfu, n spus Mnchnfl. Nncfnrc s tf nntrfnfzn n ncfnstn, ct df dfs pun tu. Ntuncn nu prfn nm nflfs nn df nnnf sfnsul spusflur lun. *nr nu frn nn df grn!. Nunln mfn m-n cundus. Fn mn-n lsnt nlfgfrfn dunr ntrf prutfst n rndnrf snu dnspfrnrf. 2ndnrfn frn .rul cfl mnn mnnur/ dup prfrfn mfn. Fu sunt nfmrgnnnt df mulumnt pfntru f,pfrnfnflf, pf cnrf nm n!ut !unf s lf trnfsc, pfntru n uturul, pf cnrf fu l-nm prnmnt. Nunln mfn mn-n fust un nun n!tur. Ntuncn n mnn fn schnmnnt urncnd cu un trup sntus. Nstzn n mulumfsc nf "nt, c nu nn dnt !unf cn s sf ntmplf. *unr un urn prfffr u cup frumus sculptnt n fn!unrfn unun nulgrf df nur. Fu nunfsc fflul cum Mnchnfl nflfgfn, s f,plncf lucrurn mnrn cu pnldf snmplf. )urpul, n!flnul mntfrnnl, fstf nmfdnnt ln ncfputul !nfnn drunt dnstrugfrnn, fr n sf dfplnsn sf ndrfnpt sprf prnunrf, dnr cf !nlunrf nrf fl fn df spnrntul nfmurntur( Fl fstf nchnsunrfn sn, l puntf nchndf n zdrunn, dn, ctfudnt l puntf uprn cu tutul - dnr dunr pfntru scurt tnmp. 0n cfl mnn ru cnz fstf un sumn cn n lun nln cn zpndn, cnrf df multf urn nu durfnz nncn u sut df nnn. *f un prnn cu numflf df munrtf fstf trfznt cu un srut dnn sumn spnrntul. )t df nnnf fstf, dnc fl puntf rfcununtf, c nu s-n lsnt prnd cflun cnrf l-n nchns, c n trnnt curpul n - ufncnnl s-n supus cu umnlnn - dnr n sfcrft n urcnt pf cflf mnn nnltf culmn. )f l nntfrfsfnz pf un pun, cnd nfsf, cun n, pf cnrf fl mnn nnnntf n spnrt-u( )f fulus nu tuntf plcfrnlf n nucurnlf trupftn n mprnn lun *umnfzfu( Ncflun, cnrf prnmftf cu mnl ncfnst cununtfrf. )urpul mfu n nlucunt ncfnst cununtfrf. Fr mnl, nrutnl - n tutun nfmrgnnnt df nunntur. 2ndnrfn( %f puntf gsn unrf n strfsul !nfnn( 0n nspnrnnn curpurnl, cnrf slu ftf dunr pfntru n sntnsfncf nf!unlf mntfrnnlf( )u muumnrf prnmfsc fu ncfst ustntnc, cnrf n zdrunnt curpul mfu, cnrf n drmnt zndurnlf nchnsurnn n n flnnfrnt spnrntul. Gfrmnnn, mntfmntncn, futnnlul frn urnrul frnnnlur mfn# pf nl mfu scrnn ns rndnrf n drngustf. Frn u cunl dur. )fl mnn ru frn fnptul, c nu m putfnm ntunrcf nncn mcnr snngur. Fu sttfnm dfsfurn znlf ntrfngn pf ncfnnn pnrtf. Mnmn nu n fcut cu sngurnn ncfnstn cu nntfnnf, dnr fn nu frn pur n snmplu cnpnnnl, s sf pun n lucul mfu. Fu sttfnm nn df mult pf u pnrtf pn cnd pnflfn sf nnflnmn df n. Frnu chnnurn mnrn n nntfrmnnnnnlf pf cnrf fu n trfnunt s lf supurt ntuncn. Nu putfnm s urlu# nn gfmfnm urf ntrfgn, dnr dunr cu rfzultntul, c mnmn sf rftrgfn n mnn mult fn df mnnf, pfntru c .plngcnunsn n furn n ultnmul grnm df nfr!n/. Fu ncfrcnm ntutdfnunn, s nu sdfsc urn, s nu fnc !rfun rfpru n s nu cundnmn. Frn nfmrgnnnt df grfu n m custn dfsfurn tuntf furflf. Frngul nu sf nmflnurfnz prnn frng, dnr cldurn tupftf cu tnmpul tunt ghfnn, n spus Mnchnfl. Fu tnnm c fl n!fn drfptntf. Fu mnn tnnm, c ncfstn frn snngurul drum, frn drumul mfu. *nr frn mult prfn nnrupt, pnftrus n nlunfcus. *f multf urn m gndfnm- prfn nnrupt. Fu snmfnm ntuncn putfrfn trupulun. )u cfn mnn mnrf nrm n sn, cu durfrfn, m pfdfpsfn fl ntuncn pf mnnf. n spnrntul nu n!fn nc putfrfn nfcfsnr s sf rndncf dfnsuprn. Fu frnm nc prnnzunnfrn curpulun mfu, n sfntnmfntflur mflf. *urfrfn cuntruln rfncnnlf n gndnrfn. Grfu n lung fstf drumul, cn s dfspnrn tfmpurnr sfntnmfntflf n prfrnlf curpulun n s lf pun ln dnspuznnn nntfrnurulun, ndf!rntulun Fu, n spnrntulun. N !fdfn, n nuzn, n mnrusn, n gustn n n snmn nu nu !unf s dfzlnunf rfncnn nutumntf n cunfurm sntunnfn, n spus u dnt Mnchnfl. "u trfnunf s rfcunutn ncfstf snmurn n s lf nrfgnstrfzn. *nr nu lsn nncnudnt cn flf s-n cuntrulfzf fnptflf n sfntnmfntflf tnlf. )nd cnnf!n tf n ur, ntuncn tu ftn suprnt, dnc cnnf!n tf dnsprfunftf, ftn trnst, dnc cnnf!n tf lnud, tu tf nucurn, n dnc cnnf!n n prncnnunftf u durfrf, ntuncn tu ncfpn s-l urtn. "u ftn ln ffl cn n un runut- *nc npfn pf un nutun, ntuncn fncf fl ncfnnn mncnrf pruprnf lun. )rfzn tu, c *umnfzfu n !rut s crffzf runun( Ntuncn nr fn putut fncf Fl tutul cu mult mnn uur. Fl n crfnt cu umul u fnnn, cnrf fstf dutnt cu tutul, c n d pusnnnlntntfn cn s fnf lnnfr, pfntru cn fl s punt n lnnfrtntf s urcf pf cflf mnn nnltf culmn nlf sffrflur. Multf pfrnculf pndfsc ln mnrgnnfn drumulun. Mult prfn dfs sf lns umul cun!nns, n !nndf prfnunsn lnnfrtntf pfntru u pnnf cu unt. "untf plcfrnlf nfftnnf, dfpfndfnflf mntfrnnlf n sf,unlf, nlcuhulul, fumntul, drugurnlf, tnnlftflf, mudn, cnrf trfnunf nfnprnt rfspfctnt, tuntf lucrurnlf ncflfn, pf cnrf trfnunf s lf fncn, cn s fn mnrf n fnn lumnn, mnnnfn cfn nuu, df cnrf fstf nf!unf, pfntru c n !fcnnul nrf unn, spurtul cfl nuu, fr cnrf nu ftn dfmn df sucnftntf, curntul, pfntru nrtnt !fcnnfn, c sf puntf n mnn nnnf. F,nst mnn df nstffl df .nfuruzf furntf/, cnrf nnuf tunt lnnfrtntfn, n l fnc pf um cn s df!nn un runut. n tutun n prnmnt umul u nrm mnnunnt, cnrf puntf nnf pnfpt tuturur ntncurnlurdrngustfn. *rngustfn sprf *umnfzfu n!nngf tuntf ncfstf prnmf dn. *rngustfn pfntru *umnfzfu nsfnmn s-$ nunftn pf ncfln, cnrf tf-n crfnt, mutn!ul n n ncflnn tnmp cnptul dfz!ultrnn mflf, Ncfln cnrf n-n dnt un sfns f,nstfnfn mflf, s-n nturc n dfplnn lnnfrtntf drngustfn %n. Ncfnst drngustfn dununr tuntf nnrfrnflf# cn un fnrtf, cn pf u sur !rfn *umnfzfu cn nun s fnm nlturn df Fl. Nu cn un %tpn mnrf !rfn cn s-$ nunnm, nu dnn cnuzn nflfpcnunnn %nlf, dnn cnuzn mrfnfn nfmrgnnntf n n supfrnurntnn %nlf. Fl !rfn dunr s fnf nunnt, pfntru c f,nst, cum un cupnl n nunftf mnmn, n mnmn n nunftf cupnlul. Ncfnst drngustfn ndf!rnt trfnunf s crfnsc, cn fn s nu fnf tulnurnt df nnsulut nnmnc. Nnmnc s n-u mnn dfrnn fzf n !fcn snu s-u sunnfzf. Fn fstf cf!n unnc, cf!n df nfntrfcut, cf!n sfnt. Fn fstf mrfn, cfl mnn nnlt lucru cnrf n f,nstnt n !n f,nstn. Fn fstf cnuzn n sfnsul !nfnn, dn, fstf nsun !nnn. *nr nu fstf pusnnnl, cn s fn crfnt cu u nsfmfnfn drngustf. )hnnr n

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pfntru un *umnfzfu ntutputfrnnc nu fstf pusnnnl. )cn ntuncn nr fn crfnt dunr nntf runun. )f cuntfnz u drngustfn pfntru mnnf, cnrf nu nrf nncn u nlfgfrf, cnrf trfnunf s m nunfnsc, pfntru c n lnpsftf pusnnnlntntfn, cn s nu fnu nunnt( *rngustfn unfn ffmfn fstf df ncffn nn df prfnuns, pfntru c fn s-n dfcns n lnnfrtntf pfntru ncfnstn. Fn nr fn ct sf puntf df nf!nluruns, dnc nr f,nstn pf lumf dunr un nrnnt, nn c fn nu nr mnn n!fn df fnpt nncn u nltfrnntn!. *f nnnn dfcnznn lnnfr fncf nn df prfnuns drngustfn. n pfntru *umnfzfu. Fl nu n !rut runun. Nn n trfnunt s nf crffzf nlfgfrn pfntru dfz!ultnrf, undf nun putfm s nf hutrm n lnnfrtntf. &fntru *umnfzfu snu pfntru nnnn, pfntru *umnfzfu snu pfntru sf,, pfntru *umnfzfu snu dfpfndfnn df drugurn, pfntru *umnfzfu snu pfntru nfnumrntflf .nfuruzf furntf/. *umnfzfu nf lns !unt ncfnst nlfgfrf. Fl nu puntf n nu nrf !unf s nntfr!nn. Muln spun, fu crfd df nnnn ntuncn n *umnfzfu, cnd l !d, ntuncn cnd Fl n nfptunt u mnnunf n fnn uchnnlur mfn, cn fu s put fn sngur. *nr cf nr fn ntuncn, dnc Fl nr nfptun u nstffl df mnnunf( *nc Fl s-nr nrtn n mrfnn n mnnunnn %n( Ntuncn nr spunf ntr-ndf!r fnfcnrf- *n, ncum put n sfrnt s crfd, ncum tf !un nunn ntr-ndf!r. *nr ncfnstn nu mnn fstf u nlfgfrf lnnfr. Ncfn drngustf nu !nlurfnz nnsulut nnmnc. Fn nu pru!nnf dnn nnnm, cn dnn rnnunf. *rngustfn cnlculnt puntf fn ctfudnt cunfundnt pf pmnt cu drngustfn ndf!rnt, dnr pf *umnfzfu nu pun s-$ nfln. Nr fn tut ncflnn lucru, cn n cnd u ffmfnf l-nr nunn pf un nrnnt dunr ntuncn, dnc n sf pnr dfstul df mnrn pruprnftnnlf snlf n dnc ncfstn nrf dfstun nnnn. Ncfnstn nu nrf df-n fncf nnmnc cu drngustfn. Ndf!rntn drngustfn - n ncfnstn f,nst dunr ln *umnfzfu - fstf pur df urncf udfcnt. Fn nu punf cundnnn, nu ntfnpt nnmnc n schnmn. Fn nunftf pur n snmplu. Nn !rfn *umnfzfu cn Fl s fnf nunnt. %nmplu, pfntru c f,nst. Nu dnn cnuzn, cn nun s nu n ungfm n .nnd/# dnn dnn cnuzn, cn nun s n ungfm n .rnn/ n s n!fm nculu lnnntfn !fnnc# nu, pfntru c *umnfzfu nrf tuntf pusnnnlntnnlf, c s nf fnc ct mnn plcut .!nnn !fnnc/. *umnfzfu nu !rfn s fnf nunnt dnntr-un mutn! snu nltul, cn dunr pfntru snmplul fnpt c f,nst. n pfntru ncfnstn nu fstf nncn mcnr nfcfsnr, cn Fl s stfn dfpnrtf df pmnt, dfunrfcf f,nst lucrurn, cnrf nf dnu nltfrnntn!f, c Fl nf lns u ndf!rnt nlfgfrf. %fmnf f,nst dfstulf, Fnfcnrf, cnrf l cnut, l ! gsn pf Fl pfstf tut dnn nflug. )f fstf nnturn nltcf!n, dfct un mnrncul n lun *umnfzfu( Flunrfn, cnrf crftf dnn np, pumul, cnrf crftf dnn smn( %nu frunzn df nfgunnf, cnrf dnntr-u snngur frunz crftf, n df!nnf u plnnt( Fr dnfncultn puntf fnfcnrf, cnrf !rfn, s !nd c n spntflf fn sf nfl u putfrf urdunnt. N fn df prfrfn, c tutul s-n ntmplnt dnn grffnl dnntr-u mntfrnf str!fchf, ndnc urdnnfn n rfnfnt dnn hnus, fstf ntt df nnsurd cn n prfrfn, cn nnsnpul dnn dffrt nr putfn s cunstrunnsc fr un pnc df n utur u pnrnmnd, dunr c n trfnunf sufncnfnt tnmp. )nnf n !zut s rfnfsf urdnnfn dnn hnus( *unr nn( N duun pnrtf n ncfstfn nrmf df drngustf fstf drngustfn pfntru nprunpflf. Fn nu sf dfusfnftf nprunpf dfluc df drngustfn pfntru *umnfzfu. Nn cum sf put n!nngf tuntf nspntflf mntfrnnlf, dfpfndfnflf n nfcfsntnnlf, nn puntf drngustfn pfntru nprunpflf s tf cucfrfnsc. %nu cum n putfn fu s snmt ur, dc l nunfsc pf cfl df lng mnnf( %nu cum n putfn s-n fnc rfpruurn( "untf sfntnmfntflf nfgntn!f sf cucfrfsc prnn drngustfn pfntru nprunpflf. Fn nu ntrfnn df cf, fn fstf pur n snmplu prfzfnt, pfntru fnfcnrf. )um n putfn fu, m ntrfnn tu, s-l nunfsc pf dumnnul mfu., cnrf !rfn s-mn fnc dunr ru( Fstf ct sf puntf df snmplu. Fl fstf tut ncfnnn, cf ftn n tu. Fl fstf u fnnn n lun *umnfzfu, crfnt prnn drngustf pfntru drngustf. *umnfzfu l nunftf pf fl ln ffl cn n pf tnnf. *rngustfn nu fncf dnffrfnf. )um nn putfn tu ntuncn, dnc nfnrmn, c l nunftn pf *umnfzfu, s-l urtn pf ncfln, pf cnrf *umnfzfu l nunftf ln ffl cn n pf tnnf( *nc nunftn pf cnnf!n cu ndf!rnt, ntuncn l nunftn cu tutul, cu tuntf dfffctflf snlf. *nc l nunftn ntr-ndf!r pf *umnfzfu, ntuncn trfnunf s-$ nunftn ntru tutul, nn, cum Fl n nunftf tuntf fnnnflf fr nncn u dfusfnnrf. )um pun tu ntuncn s urtn unn dnn ncfstf fnnnf( Ncfst lucru nu f,nst nncn mcnr n drngustfn lumfnsc. *nc un nrnnt n nunftf funrtf mult prnftfnul, ntuncn fstf cfl punn tulfrnt snu trntnt cu prnftfnnf df sunn ncflunn n ln *umnfzfu s fnf unrf nltffl( Nr trfnun s nf purtm cfl punn frumus cu nprunpflf nustru. Ncfstn fstf cfl mnn cfrt lucru df pf lumf. *nr nu dnspfrn. Fstf ntr-ndf!r cfl mnn grfu. Nun !um mnn !urnn dfsfurn df ncfst lucru. )hnnr n nstzn nm n!ut !unf mult tnmp s m plnmn nrn ln nrn cu Mnchnfl pfstf cmpnn frumus mnrusntunrf, n nm n!ut !unf s ndulmfc nfrul rcurus n prunspt. Frn tut ncfnnn lumnn, u mnnunnt n funrtf lumnnnt lumnn df nsfrnrf, cnrf ns nu nrtn nncn u umnr n !rfu pnrtf. %unrflf nu sf putfn !fdfn nncn undf. Fflurn nfmrgnnntf df flurn n df pumn nf ntmpnnnu. Fu pur n snmplu nu m put f,prnmn nltffl. Nnturn nu frn dunr prfzfnt, fn prfn s trnnsc mprfun cu nun, prfn s nnn lfgtur cu sfntnmfntflf nunstrf, n s nnflufnfzf stnrfn nunstr n n ncflnn tnmp cun!nnn df fn, dn, chnnr purtnn. Multf psrn cntnu n urul nustru, muln fluturn nf ncun urnu, nlnnnflf zumznnu, tutul n urul nustru frn plnn df !nn. )hnnr n nnnmnlflf nu frn dunr nn nculu. Flf prfnu s fnf u pnrtf dnn mnnf n frnu ntr-un ffl mnstfrnus cu mult mnn !nn, dfct fu lf-nm putut rfcfpnunn pf pmnt. Nncnundf nu sf snmfn nncn mcnr u urm df frnc snu df grn n. *unr drngustf. Fnfcnrf ddfn tutul cf n!fn n tutun tnn, c nnmfnn nu n lun nnmnc. Fu m rfgsfnm n ncflf psrn, n ncflf mnnunntf flurn, n cfl mnn mnc mflc. Fu tnnm cu cfrtntudnnf, fu frnm flf, n flf frnu fu, n tutun nu frnm unn n ncfnnn fnnn. Flf nu frnu nmngnnn nlf fnntfznfn# sf putfn s lf ntnngn, sf putfn !urnn cu flf, fr cn s trfnunnsc s !urnftn. "untf lfgturnlf gndurnlur uffrfnu u cumunncnnf, cnrf fstf nprunpf df nfdfscrns. Fu frnm cnpnnnl, s cuprnnd ntrfngn lur fnnn, tuntf sfntnmfntflf lur. Nu m putfnm dunr trnnsffrn n flf, fu putfnm s lf prnmfsc n mnnf ntru tutul. Frn - cn n cum drngustfn sf nunftf pf snnf. )ffn cf tu !fzn n trnftn nncn, nu nrf nnmnc cu cf s sf nsfmfnf pf pmnt. &f pmnt trfcf fnfcnrf plnnt, fnfcnrf nnnmnl, nn chnnr fnfcnrf pnntr prnn pruprnn sn dfz!ultnrf. Ncfstfn tuntf sunt scntfn df duh nlf lun *umnfzfu, cnrf sunt cundusf prnn nfsfrnt df multf stndnn nntfrmfdnnrf ln mnturntntf. *nc tu !rfn s tf cunfctfzn cu flf, ntuncn trfnunf tu s tf ncumudfzn cu stnrfn lur df uscnlnnf, cffn cf prfsupunf u nnlt mnturntntf duhu!nncfnsc. &fntru umul unnnunt nu fstf n cunsfcnn !nznnnl u cunf,nunf. Fflul df gndnrf

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mntfrnnlnst nu lns rflnnnlf s sf rfcununsc, cn trfnunf s !nd n ncfstfn n mud unlngnturnu furmf df !nn nutunumf n fsfnnnl dnffrntf fn df pfrsunnn pruprnf. Nu nn fstf n lumfn duhu!nncfnsc. Nncn fstf tutul n tnnf, cffn cf !fzn, tutul cf trnftn. &fntru c numnn cffn, cf fstf n tnnf, pun tu s n trnftn n s snmn. Fstf u pnrtf dnn tnnf n tu u pnrtf dnn ncfnstn. "ut cf fstf, sunt scntfn df !nn nlf lun *umnfzfu. Nn cum pncturn n mnrf df!nnf unn cu mnlnnrdflf df nltf pncturn, dnn f,tfrnur nf mnn fnnnd pusnnnl u dfusfnnrf, cu tuntf nstfn rfnnndu-n nutunumnn pf dfplnn, n fflul ncfstn sf !fdf u fnnn dfz!ultnt duhu!nncfsc nntfgrnt n ntrfngn crfnnf. Nn cum u pnctur, cnd fn nghfn, n pnfrdf unnrfn cu cflflnltf pncturn, dfnnrnsndu-sf df cflflnltf cn crnstnl pruprnu, nn n pnfrdf umul sfntnmfntul df n fn unn cu crfnnn, dnc fl nsun sf dfnnrnsfnz, cnd fl fugf df cldur n cnd rcfnln mntfrnfn l fncf prnzunnfr. *nc un suflft sf ustfnftf numnn pfntru cffn cf fstf mntfrnnl n nfgln fnz !nlurnlf duhu!nn!ftn, ntuncn trfnunf fl n nncn s sf mulumfnsc cu u mprf urnmf pustnf. )nnf lns drngustfn s sf ufnlfnsc, ncfln nu !n putfn nncn s nduc flurn ln n!fnl. "utul fstf drngustf. Nn df mult drngustfn ct tu nn dfz!ultnt n tnnf, ntt df mult drngustf pun tu s pruducn dnn tnnf n lumfn duhu!nncfnsc. )ffn cf nn !zut n nn trnt nstzn, n fust df-nnnn ncfputul. Nn cum tu nn unsfr!nt df n, stpnftf u lumnn df nsfrnrf cuntnnu. *f n ntr-ndf!r unn funrtf lumnnuns, dnr sunrflf nc nu sf puntf !fdfn. "u nncn nu l-nn putfn nc supurtn. 0n lumfn duhu!nncfnsc nnmnc nu sf rfnnf fr drfpt cn .pfdfnps/. "u prnmftn tuntf, pf cnrf lf pun supurtn. 0n .nnd/ nu sf nrunc unmfnnn. Ncfnstn fstf u stnrf, n cnrf tf nfln, pfntru c nu pun supurtn lumnnn. n dfsprf ncfst lucru !um !urnn nun nc dfs. *nc tu nn !fdfn sunrflf duhu!nncfsc n ncfnst prfzfnt stnrf df uscnlnnf n tn, tu nn nrdf cn un nfc, cnrf fstf nlnmfntnt dnntr-u surs df curfnt putfrnnc df 5;;;;; df !uln. Fl puntf numnn ntuncn fulusn curfntul, dnc ncfstn fstf trnnsfurmnt n us ln 44; df !uln. 0n ncflnn ffl trnnsfurm n us surflf-lun-7rnstus df fnfcnrf dnt lumnnn lun ln stnrfn df uscnlnnf, n cnrf tu tf nfln n ncfst fnpt nu sf ntmpl ntuncn, pfntru n-n nrtn, c tu mnn nn mult pn cf !fn fn mntur! %f ntmpl dnn drngustf fn df tnnf, pfntru c tu n-nn putfn supurtn mnn mult, fnnndc tu nn nrdf n ncfnstn. F,nst dunr ncfstf duu pusnnnltn. 'rn n trnnsfurm 7rnstus lumnnn $un n us ln nn!flul tu, snu tu n trnnsfurmn uscnlnnnlf tnlf n sus ln sunrflf-lun-7rnstus. )nlfn sprf ncfnstn u cunutn tu. "rnnsfurmnturul fstf drngustfn, drngustfn snngur. Fn prnmftf nflfpcnunfn pf grntns, n tnmp cf ntrfngn nflfpcnunf n pmntulun nu !n prnmn nncn mcnr u pnctur df drngustf, dnc fn nu u nducf snngur ln n!fnl. *umnfzfu pusfd tunt nflfpcnunfn. Fl nu nrf nf!unf df nflfpcnunfn tn. Fl n d cu drng cf!n df ln ncfnstn, ntt df mult ct pun tu supurtn. )ffn cf Fl !rfn n nrf nf!unf df ln tnnf, fstf drngustfn tn. *fschndfn uchnn tn n ndrgustftf-tf df Fl. 3 Fu n-nm dfschns n nm prn!nt n uchnn tntlun mfu. Ncum m-nm nmnntnt fu nnrn. Fl m lunsf tnndru n nrnflf snlf, n fu nm ndurmnt ffrncnt n ncfstfn. "ntl nu n spus nnmnc. Fl prn!fn numnn ln mnnf. )u prn!nrfn lun cnld, cunusctunrf m-n nfurnt, m-n lunt pf mnnf n snnf. $n fl nm fust fu prutf nt. $n fl n-nm mnn fust fu u nn!nlnd. Fu frnm un um, fu frnm fnncn lun, pf cnrf fl u nunfn. Fncf nn df nnnf, s fnn nunnt! *rngustfn n!nngf urncf durfrf, fncf tuntf grn nlf untntf. *f cf frn tntl numnn nn df rnr ncns, df cf numnn nu putfn fl s fnf mnn dfs ln mnnf( )um nr fn dnc m-nr nflfgf, dnc m-nr mnrnn mnn tnrf. Fu mn-nm dnt nstzn dfmnsnn. Mnmn nu mnn n!usf nfr dnn cnuzn spnnmfn. Nncn mcnr cnffnun fnfrnnntf prfn fn c nu u unsfr!, pf cnrf n !rsnt-u pf ruchnn fn. Fu nu mnn !rfnu s fnu nn df mult pf drum. Fu npnrnn nncn, df tnnf n mnn nlfs n df Nnrnnrn. Ncfnstn fstf ru!untur! *nc tu m-nn nunn chnnr numnn punn, n-nn fn fcut tu ncfnstn. "u nu !fn mnn gsn nncnudnt nnrn un luc df munc, undf ctngn ntnn nnnn. *nn cf s-mn pltfsc fu dfcn ncum hnnnflf mflf, mnnnn nuu, pf cnrf !runnm s-u cumprm n !nr( "rfnunf tu ntutdfnunn s strncn tutul( *f n df nn df mult tnmp mn-nn prumns tu un cu!ur, cn n sfrnt nnmfnn s nu mnn punt s-n nnt uc df .pudfnu nunstr df lfmn-df unmfnn-srncn/. *nn cf !rfn "u ncum s pltftn tuntf ncfstfn( )f !rfn s fncn "u ntr-ndf!r( Nn tu df n un nuu luc df munc( Nu! n nncn cffn cf !un fncf fu, nu tnu nc. Fu tnu numnn, c Nnrnnrn nrf nf!unf df mnnf, n ncfnstn mn n ungf. *nc n fn fcut fu tutun ntuncn un n!urt cu ncfst lucru nlfstfmnt. &rnn cf nm mfrntnt fu ncfnstn. "unt znun nm numnn df lucru n ntnnf df cnp cu fn, n ncum m rfspnngn tu nc n nnpun dnn cnuzn fn. ' *unmnf, df cf fstf lumfn numnn nn df nfdrfnpt! Fu ! ursc pf !un tun! Fn sf luptn cu lncrnmnlf, n cnd un czusf n nnl, trfnunn fu s m gndfsc ln cu!nntflf lun Mnchnfl- 'rn u pun snmn curpurnl. )n sgfn nscuntf s-n nfnpt ncfnstn ndnc n trupul mfu mnc n l-n cutrfmurnt. "ntn m-n strns prutfctur ln snnf. *n, fl df!fnnsf nfntncnnnl. *rngustfn lun l-n nfurnt prutf ndu-l pf fl cn u plntu. Fu tnnm c fl u !n lun pf mnmn, cnd fn sf !n fn lnnntnt, nnrn n nrnflf snlf n nu-n !n rfprun nncnudnt nnmnc, n-u !n mnn nmnntn cu nncn un cu!nt ln cffn cf sf ntmplnsf. Fu l ndmnrnm pf tntn. &utfn fl, unrf, s !nd df n sunrflf( "ntn frn muntur ln u fnrm mnrf, cnrf frn cu prfcdfrf nctn! n strnntntf. Fl frn dfsfurn pntru sptmnn snu nc mnn mult plfcnt n !fnfn ntuncn cfl mult pfntru ctf!n znlf ncns, pfntru n fn trnmns nnrn nmfdnnt cu u nuu nsrcnnnrf ntr-u nlt nr. Fl n trfnunt ntr-ndf!r s fn ctngnt ln ncfnstn funrtf muln nnnn. 0n urncf cnz fusfsf mnmn n ncfst tnmp funrtf mndr df fl. )u cf nr putfn fl ncum ntr-ndf!r s sf ucupf( )u sngurnn n-n

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dfmnsnunnt fl fr s sf gndfnsc. "utul cf fcfn tntn, frn chnnzunt nnnf. Fl nu ncnunn nncnudnt fmununnl. Fl n stpnfn sfntnmfntflf snlf. Nun trnnm ntr-u mnc guspudrnf, pf cnrf tntn u mutfnnsf df ln nunncu, ntr-un ctun cu nltf upt guspudrnn, dfpnrtf, ntr-u mprf urnmf sngurntnc, prsnt. Nfgln nt, unnnunn mnmn s spun. )fl mnn nprupnnt urn mnn mnrf cu cf!n ndustrnf sf nfln ln u dnstnn df 9; df =m. Nnnnntf cundusfsf tntn guspudrnn. $n ncfput n n mfrs funrtf nnnf, cu tuntf c mnmn nu n utn nncnudnt, pfntru c .muncn df mnzfrnf/ frn sun dfmnntntfn fn. Nun pusfdnm ntuncn 9 !ncn n > hn. df pmnt. "ntn !nsnsf ntutdnunn dup ncflf tnmpurn. Fl trfnunn ntrndf!r s fn fust ntuncn funrtf ffrncnt. Mnmn !runn df n dnntutdfnunn mnn mult. Fn !runn s punt trn nn cn rudflf fn dnn urnul mnrf. Nn hnnnf mudfrnf, ntr-u lucunn curnt, cu u mnnn nuu, n mnn nlfs- fnfcnrf nn s mfnrg n cuncfdnu. "ntn nu s-n lsnt nncnudnt nmprfsnunnt df ncfnstn. Nun nu suntfm nncn pf pmnt, n spusf fl mnmfn, pfntru n ctngn ct sf puntf df muln nnnn n s nf mpu!rm cu multf lucrurn mntfrnnlf. Nun suntfm nncn, pfntru n strngf ct sf puntf df multf f,pfrnfnf, pfntru cn s prugrfsm duhu!nncftf mnn dfpnrtf, pfntru n-n n utn pf nlnn, nu pfntru nnnn, cn df drngul lur nnn. Nun trfnunf s nf n!m n drngustf n rndnrf, n mnn nlfs trfnunf nun s rfcununtfm, c nnnnn n tuntf lucrurnlf mntfrnnlf sunt nfnmpurtnntf, nn chnnr duntunrf, ccn flf nf nnnt df pf cnlfn duhu!nncfnsc. %nngurul lucru, cf nf rmnf !fnnc, sunt rundflf duhu!nncftn. n ncfstfn sf mnturnzfnz n srcnf n smfrfnnf ndfsfn mnn nnnf dfct n nugnf n ngmfnrf. "ntn nncn n-nr fn cfdnt ntr-ndf!r nncnudnt, dnc n-nr fn ncfput ntuncn mnrfn !ntunrf df hntunnl mputrn!n tuturur mncnlur rnnn n fn!unrfn fnnrncnlur ngrnrf tut mnn mnrn. )tngurnlf sczusfr tut mnn mult, muncn rnnnlur n-n mnn n!ut nncn u !nlunrf. Mnnnn mnrn nu putfn tntn s-n pfrmnt, n n utur nnfsc prnmfn fl numnn ncfpnd df ln u nnumnt mrnmf. Fucnunnrnn rnftn n uffrnsfr, s fnnnfzf u crfscturnf df !nfn, un grn d pfntru cfl punn <; pn ln 1;; df nnnmnlf dutnt cu tuntf nmfnn rnlf mudfrnf, fnfcnrf !nfl snngur ntr-u nu, ngust, cn ncfstn s nu cunsumf prfn mult mncnrf prnn mncnrf. 2fsfntnmfntf n sfntnmfntnlntn nu nr ngdun pnnn. 'rn fl ln sf nlturn, snu fl sf lsn pgunn. "ntn s-n lsnt pgunn. &fntru fl frn fnfcnrf nnnmnl, chnnr fnfcnrf plnnt prfn sfnt, nn nct s fn putut ngdun, s mnltrntfzf nstffl un nnnmnl. Nu cum!n s ! gndnn, spusf fl, c nnnmnlflf snu n plnntflf nr fn dnn tfmflnf cf!n dnffrnt fn df um. Ncfstfn nn sf nsfnmn cu mult mnn mult, dfct !un crfdfn. Fnfcnrf nnnmnl, fnfcnrf plnnt nrf df n un suflft. Fnfcnrf fnnn fstf u crfntur n lun *umnfzfu, ndus ln n!fnl dnn drngustfn lun nfmrgnnnt. Fnfcnrf nnnmnl, fnfcnrf plnnt nrf sfntnmfntf, cnrf pnrnnl rfncnunfnz cu mult mnn sfnsnnnlf dfct cflf nlf nunstrf. )flf mnn multf nnnmnlf pusfd n nn cf!n cn un nl nptflfn snmn# cflur mnn muln unmfnn lf-n dnsprut dunr df mult ncfstn. Fnfcnrf rnn tnf, cum nnnmnlflf sf mputrn!fsc nnstnnctn!, cnd ncfstfn mfrg n dnrfcnn cnsfn df sncrnfncnrf, cu tuntf c flf n-nu fust nc nncnudnt cunfruntntf cu ncfnstn. Fncfn-! stpnn nsuprn pmntulun, n spus *umnfzfu. Nu- dumnnn cn tnrnnn pfstf pmnt, ncunnn nnnmnlflf, chnnunn-lf, ucndfnlf, n nucurnn-! ln ncfnstn. Nnnmnlflf sunt mncnn nutrn frnn n mnrfn fnmnlnf n lun *umnfzfu. Nun nr trfnun s n!fm gr df flf, s lf ndrumm n s lf cunducfm. &rnn fflul nustru fgunst, nrutnl n nfumfnfsc, s chnnun nnnmnlflf dnn mutn!f curnt mntfrnnlf cn cfl mnn ru ntfmnntur, nf prncnnunm nuu nnnf cfl mnn mult ru. &f df-u pnrtf dnrfct prnn cunsumnrfn crnnn, cnrf pusfd nfnumrntf sunstnnf utr!ntunrf n mfdncnmfntf. *f-nnnn hurmunnn, nntnnnutncflf n nnnnulflf stfrundf fnc dunr pusnnnlf ncfstf mftudf pfr!frsf df ngrnrf. Nprunpf tuntf sf dfpun n cnrnf n sunt df n nstzn rfspunsnnnlf pfntru funrtf multf mnuln!nrn n dfrnn rn nlf mftnnulnsmflur. Nl dunlfn punct cntrftf nc mnn dffn!urnnnl. ) nnnmnlflf put gndn, n fust df n df mult du!fdnt df nnulugnf. Ncfnstn fstf u gndnrf prnmntn!, nnstnnctn!, dnr ncfstfn sunt uscnlnnn nlf gndurnlur, cnrf, n prnncnpnu, nu sf dfusfnfsc prnn nnmnc df cflf nlf nunstrf. "utul cf fstf, fstf fnfrgnf, tut un gnd n ncfst lucru l-n du!fdnt fnzncn df n df mult tnmp. "ut nn cn n fnptul, c fnfrgnn nu puntf fn nncnudnt dnstrus. Fn puntf ntr-ndf!r s fnf trnnsfurmnt n nltf furmf df fnfrgnf, dnr nu puntf nncnudnt s fnf dnstrus. )f gndfsc nndnr nnnmnlflf, cnrf sunt chnnuntf ntr-un nsfmfnfn hnl( Ncfstfn sunt gndurn df frnc, tfnm, chnn, pnrnnl ntr-ndf!r n nsfmntunrf cu urn nunstr, n gfnfrnl dfcn fnfrgnf nfgntn!. Ncfnst fnfrgnf nu sf puntf f!npurn. Fn nf mpu!rfnz cn u snnnf n lun *nmuclf. *fsngur, fn nu puntf fn msurnt n cntrnt, n nncn nu fstf !nznnnl. *nr nncn rndnunctn!ntntfn nu fstf !nznnnl, n tutun nrf fn fffctf df!nstntunrf! Ncfnst fnfrgnf nfgntn! nf prncnnunftf nuu tuturur pngun. Fn curfspundf cu rndnunctn!ntntfn n sffrn duhu!nncfnsc. )ffn cf rndnunctn!ntntfn prncnnunftf curpulun, ncfst lucru l prncnnunftf duhulun ncfnst fnfrgnf nfgntn!. Nnmfnn nu puntf spunf, ncfnstn n-nm tnut-u, ncfst lucru nu l-nm !rut! Nun tun suntfm dfnsfmfnfn !nnu!nn ln ncfnst stnrf. *rngustf curnt nu ncftfnz f,nct n fnn fpturnlur cflur mnn nfputnncnunsf, fn lf nncludf pf ncfstfn n prnmul rnd. )nd tntn n f,prnmnt ncfstf gndurn n ndunnrfn cnrcumscrnpnfn rnnnlur, l-nu rupt fn df-n drfptul. Numnn punnn prnftfnn nu nnut cu fl, unnn nu df!fnnt ngndurnn, mnrfn mn urntntf l-n numnt un ndnut !nstur, fr nncn un snm nl rfnlntnn. %nu cf nltcf!n sf puntf crfdf dfsprf un rnn !fgftnrnnn, cnrf rfspnngf cunsumul df cnrnf n dnn mutn!f df sntntf n dnn mutn!f ftncf( 0n nnzn ncfstfn cu!ntrn, cnrf n pru!ucnt cf!n sfnznnf n n prfs, n fust fl ntuncn f,clus dnn nsucnnnn rnnnlur pf mutn! df cumpurtnmfnt duntur pfntru nsucnnnf. *f-nnnn mult mnn trznu nm nflnt fu ncfnst ntmplnrf df ln Mnchnfl. "ntl tu, spusf fl, fstf unul dnntrf cfn muln sfnnn, cnrf rmn nfcunuscun, cnrf lucrfnz n lucrurn mncn n nscunsf. )ffn cf fl n rfcunuscut cn fnnnd drfpt, ncfnstn n n susnnut-u, fr n nrusn un gnd pfntru snnf. Fl n ntmpnn pf tun cu drngustf, n n ut pf tun, nu rnftf pf nnmfnn, fr s cfdfzf !rfudnt, dnc cnnf!n ndur strnccnunf snu dnc lfgfn dumnfzfnnsc fstf nfrfspfctnt. Fl fstf unul dnntrf ncfnn, cnrf ntrfsc nnnflf n lumf

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n l spurfsc. 'nmfnn cnrf !ur s nnuntnfnsc lumfn n-nu rfunt nncnudnt s ntnng !rfun scup. )u!ntrn mnrn n durnnn f!ln!nuns, ncfnn df sus s fnc n sfrnt cf!n, n-nu n utnt nc nnmnun cu nnmnc. Fnfcnrf puntf s mnuntfnsc lumfn, nnumf nculu, undf fl trnftf. $umfn, ncfnstn fstf mprf urnmfn tn, unmfnnn, ncftnn sunt nprunpflf tu. Nu-n crntncn, nu-n cundnmnn! %chnmn-tf numnn tu nsun, n cfnlnln sf schnmn nutumntnc mprfun cu tnnf. Fn rfncnunfnz ln uscnlnnnlf tnlf. *up ur urmfnz nrnrfurn drngustfn. *nr fn df drngustf nu puntf nnmfnn pf durnt lung s rfncnunfzf cu ur. &f lng f,fmplul tu mnc nu puntf nnmfnn pf lung durnt s trfnc, fr s fnf mulnpsnt . Nu fstf pusnnnl, s nsculn un cuncfrt df urg n n ncflnn tnmp s flunfrn u dunn. Nu fstf pusnnnl, s tf unn ln u lumnnrf n s !fzn ntunfrnc, nncn mcnr cu uchnn nchnn. *nr lumnnrfn trfnunf s nrd, tu trfnunf s-u nprnnzn. )fn mnn muln !urnfsc ntutdfnunn numnn dfsprf fnptul, c cnnf!n nr trfnun s-u nprnnd. Fstf dfnsfmfnfn mult mnn plnn df sfns, s nprnnzn u lumnnrf, dfct s !urnftn dfsprf ncfst lucru, c n ncfst ntunfrnc nr trfnun cfl punn duuzfcn s fnf nprnnsf. $umfn fstf cn un uc df dumnnu. %f nfl u sut df pnftrf ntr-un rnd unn n spntflf cflfnlnltf. )fn cnrf !ur s mnuntfnsc lumfn ncfnrc ncum, s lf rstunrnf pf tuntf ncfstfn n ncflnn tnmp, n pfntru c ncfst lucru nu fstf pusnnnl, fufnz fn snu sf rfsfmnfnz. $n ncfnstn fstf ns tutun nn df snmplu. "u trfnunf s rsturnn dunr ncfn pnntr, cnrf sf nfl lng tnnf, n rfncnn n lnn cnrf urmfnz ntuncn lf rstunrn pf tuntf cflflnltf fr nntfr!fnnn tn n cuntnnunrf. ' ln!nn ncfpf ntutdfnunn n prupurnn mncn, ntr-un punct. Fn nu sf ntfn nncnudnt mnrf n tutun n!fn dfsurn un fffct nnmncntur. "ntl tu n-n ntfptnt ncfnst ln!nn pf cnrf cnnf!n .df sus/ s-u dfzlnunf u dnt. Fl n dfclnnnt mnn multf ln!nnf mnnusculf. *nc flf !ur df!fnn ln!nnf mnrn, ncfst lucru dfpnndf df mnn multf mprf urrn. Ncfst lucru nu st ln ndfmnn !unstr, pfntru ncfnstn !un nu suntfn rfspunsnnnln. *nr trfnunf tutun s-u dfclnnnn! $umfn nu n fust crfnt dunr ntr-u snngur zn. )rfdfn !un, c ntr-u snngur zn n putfn schnmnn chnpul cu tutul( )fn mnn muln rfnun dup u scurt !rfmf, ntuncn cnd fn nu zrfsc nncn un succfs. Fn sf gndfsc dunr ln snnf. *f cf nu dfclnnfnz pur n snmplu u ln!nn, cnrf n n ungf dnn urm pf cupnnn lur snu chnnr n pf nfpunn lur( 0n dumfnnul mntfrnnl sf gndfsc muln df n ln znun df punmnnf. )upnnn nncn nnnf nu sunt nc nscun, n mutfnnrfn fstf df n prugrnmnt pn n cfl mnn mnc dftnlnu. *nr n spnrnt, trfnunf cn tutul s sf ntmplf pf luc, ccn, nltffl, nf pnfrf curn ul, dfunrfcf .nu putfm n nn s schnmnm cf!n/. Nn-l cn f,fmplu pf tntl tu. Fl n dfclnnnt multf, cu tuntf c fl nu tnf ncfst fnpt. Fl nu n fcut nncnudnt cf!n dnn cnuzn succfsulun. Fl n ncnunnt, nn cum n trfnunt s ncnunfzf. "ntn n !ndut pf ncfn !rfmf !ncnlf unun prnftfn, undf tnn c lf !n mfrgf nnnf, n-n nrfndnt pf lng ncfnstn n pmntul n n nccfptnt slu nn cn muntur n ncum n dfmnsnunnt. *nc nu n fn fust mut, nu n fn putut s stpnfsc un npt df nucurnf. Nmngnnfn, c tntn !n fn mnn dfs nlturn df mnnf, frn mult prfn frumuns. )u snngurnn c Mnchnfl n nrnn nt ncfnstn, dfunrfcf fu l-nm rugnt df multf urn. *rngul mfu Mnchnfl, fu n mulumfsc, c prnmfsc nn df mult n utur. "ntn m-n mnn strns nc u dnt cu trnf n nrnflf snlf, m-n srutnt n n-n lunt rmns nun. &fntru ultnmn unr n trfnunt s plfcf fl pfntru u pfrnund df nsf sptmnn, n ntuncn( *n, cf sf !n ntmpln ntuncn( Frnu nsf sptmnn durf pfntru mnnf. Fu ncfrcnm, ct df nnnf putfnm, dnr un succfs nu sf putfn zrn. Mnmn mfn frn cu mult mnn tnrf suprnt n rfzfr!nt fn df mnnf. Fu u prn!fnm ct putfnm fu df nunntur, fu n durfnm n gnd dunr drngustf, fu supurtnm tuntf durfrnlf cu rndnrf, dnr ncfnstn nu n n utnt ln nnmnc. Fn m-n lsnt pur n snmplu ntr-u pnrtf. Mncnrfn mn-u nducfn nfrfgulnt n mputrn!n !unnfn fn. )f nu n fn dnt cn s fnu punn mnn nndfpfndfnt! % put mncn snngur snu s put mfrgf cfl punn ln tunlft. *nr fu ncfrcnm, s nu m cfrt cu sunrtn, fu ncfrcnm dnn rsputfrn, s nu furmfz gndurn nfgntn!f. Ntuncn cnd fn n urn, dfunrfcf mnm udnt, ncfrcnm cn s-u nflfg, ncfrcnm s mn cfr u nfrtnrf mut, c fu n-nm dnt dnn nuu ntt df lucru. Fu ncfrcnm, s-n mulumfsc pfntru tut cf fcfn fn. Nu n fust uur, dnr cu tnmpul n mfrs mnn nnnf, n n !rfmf nm n!nt chnnr, s supurt durfrnlf, fr s m plng, fr s fnc rfpruurn, ntuncn cnd fn m npucn fr nlndff. "ut tnmpul l n!fnm pf tntn n fnn uchnnlur mfn n tnnm, c fu trfnunn s rfufsc. Fu frnm ffrm dfcns, s ndnug pnrtfn mfn, s dfclnnfz mncn mfn ln!nn, dnr frnm tut tnmpul dnn nuu dfznmgnt, c fn nu sf furmn sprf n df!fnn u ln!nn mnrf cn s sf rstugulfnsc n !nlf n s nnmncfnsc tutul cf-n sttfn n cnlf. *nn cuntr, nu sf ntmpln nnmnc, nnsulut nnmnc! Nncn frnnn mfn nu mn fcfnu !nnn mnn uunr. Fn nu sf ngrn fnu df mnnf, n ntuncn cnd trfnunnu s-u fc, u fcfnu cuntrn !unnfn lur. n ncfst lucru m fcfnu s-l snmt. Fstf nfmrgnnnt df umnlntur, s nu tf pun mncn nprunpf dfluc n s fn n nnt ucurnt pfntru ncfnstn. &fntru urfchnnlf sntunsf nr sunn cn u glum, ntuncn cnd fn m lsnu n crucnurul mfu df cupnn ln mnrgnnfn tfrfnulun df futnnl, n utnu cu mnngfn pf lng mnnf n strngnu- "u ftn purtnrul, nn grn cn nu cum!n s rntfzn! Fu ns nu nm snmnt nncnudnt ncfst lucru cn fnnnd durfrus. )hnnr dnc rfufnm ncum, s nu mnn fnu suprnt pf fn, n ndncul suflftulun durfn tutun dfstul df tnrf. Multf nstffl df ncnnf n trfnunt s ndur. Ntuncn cnd frnnn mfn mprfun cu cnmnrnznn lur df unc nu unsfr!nt c mn frn scrn df nruntf, sf dnstrnu df mnnunf, s lf prnnd n s mn lf nruncf n punl. Nm fust lsnt n crucnur pfntru n n!fn dfstul !ntfz pf dfnl n us, c nprunpf mn nturcfn stumncul pf dus snu m punfnu ntr-un cul, ntuncn cnd nu putfnm fn fulusnt. 'rn frnm nfr pfntru fn, frn !unf, fr cn fn s fnf pfdfpsnn, s nu m nngf n sfnm - s urlu snu s fug dup fn nu putfnm - , snu fu frnm prn!nt cn u ucrnf. Nmnflf lucrurn sunt dfstul df umnlntunrf. Fr Mnchnfl, fr cununtfrfn, cnrf fl mn-u drunn, m-n fn upus cu sngurnn n suprnrfn, furnn n trnstffn m-nr fn rupt n nntfrnur.

1?1

*nr mnn ru m lu!fn cumptnmnrfn unmfnnlur mnn ntrnn. +nn *umnfzfulf, ct df srnc fstf! F,nst, unrf, ntr-ndf!r, s fnf nn df mnc n nn df dffurmnt( Fstf fn, unrf, hnndncnpnt mnntnl( %nu puntf s gndfnsc punn( Frn grfu df supurtnt, s fnu ucrnn frnnnlur mfn. $n fn mnn nsfmnnm cfl punn cf!n. N!fm u !nlunrf unrfcnrf. *nr nn( %ngur, ncftn unmfnn nu u spunfnu dnn rutntf. *nr fn mn lnpfnu prnn ncfnst tnmpnl n nncumpftfnfn nnsulutf. Ncfnst mnl dnstrugfn tuntf !nlurnlf, tf punfn pf cfn mnn uns scnr n f,nstfnfn umfnftn, nfngnt n sfnm, nfnunnt, nu ftn lunt n sfrnus, dunr tulfrnt. n ct df dfs fstf fnls ncfnst mnl, dunr u mnsc n spnnmfn, c n puntf lu!n chnnr pf fn, c fn !ur trfnun ln rndul lur s sf dfscurcf cu un cupnl hnndncnpnt, cu tunt muncn ncffn, cu tuntf suffrnnflf n mnn nlfs- cf !ur spunf cfnlnln( )t df dfs sf nudf dnn ncfn mnl uurnrfn, c nu fust scutnn df ncfnstn! n trnstffn, cnrf u f,prnm, fstf dfsfurn ngruzntunrf- ncfst lucru mn s-nr fn putut ntmpln n mnf! *nc nu prfn nn cf fncf cu !ucfn, cu urfchnnlf n cu mnnnlf, rmnf dunr pusnnnlntntfn, s culfzn snmurnlf. )fn mnn muln unmfnn, n spus udnt Mnchnfl, nu tnu nncn mcnr c f,nst ncfst snm, ncfl snm pfntru !nnrnnnlf unmfnnlur dnn urul nustru. "untf gndurnlf n sfntnmfntflf sunt !nnrnnn. Ntuncn cnd un gnd fstf gndnt, nf prsftf fl n furmn unfn mncn cnntntn df fnfrgnf, cnrf sf mprtnf cn lumnnn n tuntf prnlf. )urpul nu pusfd un urgnn pfntru n putfn rfcfpnunn ncfstf !nnrnnn. *nr spnrntul nustru puntf! )nnf ncfnrc, s mprfunfzf spnrntul mprfun cu curpul, !n rfcfpnunn nmfdnnt ncfstf !nnrnnn n lf !n nflfgf curfct. )upnnn mncn pusfd n cflf mnn multf cnzurn ncfst snm. %nu cum sf puntf f,plncn nltffl, c unnn cupnn ln nnumnn nduln, pf cnrf nu n-nu !zut nncnudnt, ncfp dfudnt s urlf n chnnr n cu mult rndnrf nu n mnn pun lnnntn, n tnmp cf cu nlnn, tut ntt df strnnn, sunt ntr-ndf!r ncrfzturn( *n, muln cupnn nc mnn pusfd ncfst snm. *nr n luc s fnf ntfnn ndulnn ln ncfstn, df!nn mn urntntfn ndulnlur suprnn- "u cupnl prust, cf s-n ntmplnt cu tnnf! )upnlul unsfnr! n scurt tnmp, c ncfnst rfncnf nu fstf durnt n cu tnmpul u unt. %nngurul lucru, cf rmnf n urm ln mnrfn mn urntntf, fstf sfntnmfnul snmpntnfn snu nntnpntnfn, cu tuntf c snmpntnn nu fstf nnmnc nltcf!n, dfct c !nnrnnnlf cflunlnlt sunt pf ncffnn und df !nlurn, n tnmp cf nntnpntnn nsfnmn dnffrfnn n ncflfn frfc!fnf df !nnrnnn. &rnn ncfn snngurtntf, n cnrf fu nm crfscut, nm putut s dfz!ult ncfst snm dnn cf n cf mnn mult. Nnmfnn nu n ncfrcnt s mn spun cf!n n ncfnst prn!nn, dfunrfcf nnmfnn nu tnn. n df ln Mnchnfl nm prnmnt n uturul cu!fnnt. &f mnnf df mult !rfmf nu m mnn puntf mnnn nnmfnn. %f puntf snmn nmfdnnt, dnc cu!nntflf ncupfr !nnrnnnlf gndurnlur snu nu. n ct df dfs nu curfspund! )t df dfs sf nscundf n spntflf cu!nntflur rustntf rfpfdf .srncul um/ dunr spfrnnn, s nu n ung chnnr fn n ncfnst sntunnf! n ct df dfs sf spunf dunr nn fr nncn mcnr punn df cumpnsnunf! )t df dfs fstf scuzn- Fu nu nm putut, pfntru c n sfnsul ndf!rntFu nu nm !rut. n ct df dfs ln nfnrmnnn- )upnlul n punrt cu stuncnsm durfrfn, nm fust mpnns sprf cfn mnn uns trfnpt lumfnsc, ndnc, u !nn df nftrnt, cnrf fstf dunr tulfrnt! )f nrf df-n fncf cu curpul, sunt n fu df ncurd. *unr - fstf curpul !nnn mfn( %unt fu curpul mfu( %pnrntul mfu nu sf lsn nflnt df dnscursurnlf crfdnncnunsf nlf cflurlnln. Fl frn n stnrf s fnc dnffrfnn ntrf mnsc n chnp. Fu nu trfnunn s crfd cffn, cf mn sf spunfn, fu putfnm s !frnfnc dnc fstf ndf!rnt. Nu fstf ncfst lucru mnn nmpurtnnt( )f fstf !nnn( )unst dunr dnn n ucn futnnl n df n fncf cuprturn( Fu mn-nm rspuns df n df mult !rfmf ln ncfnst ntrfnnrf. %nngurnn, dnn !nnn mfn, cnrf m-nu nccfptnt nn cum sunt, ncfnstn n fust surn Nfnfdnctn dnn clnnnc, frn tntl mfu, n nnnfnflfs Mnchnfl. &fntru surn Nfnfdnctn nm fust un cupnl cn urncnrf nltul. Fu frnm nulnn! n frn df nflfs, c fn m n utn. Fu frnm un .nulnn! nurmnl/, nncn mnn mult nncn mnn punn. &fntru tntn frnm fnncn pf cnrf fl u nunfn. )u sngurnn c nu mn nunfn curpul, fl frn dfsfurn trnst dnn cnuzn lun. Fl nunfn umul, cnrf frn n ncfl trup, ncfl um, cnrf *umnfzfu l-n crfnt cn n pf fl n prnn ncfnstn n!fn tut ncffnn !nlunrf cn n fl. &fntru Mnchnfl frnm un prnftfn. 'n prnftfn, pf cnrf trfnunn s-l ghndfzf, pf cnrf trfnunn s-l nntruduc n sfcrftflf !nfnn, pur n snmplu surn sn mnn tnr, pf cnrf u nccfptn cu tuntf grfflnlf n slnncnunnlf, n fl ncfrcn dnn rsputfrn s m rndncf, cu ghndnrfn sn, lng fl, pf trfnpt. *ur, dnr tutun nunntur. Fu frnm .nurmnl/ cn urncnrf nltul. Nnmnc mnn mult snu mnn punn. n fu !runnm dunr s fnu- .nurmnl/, un um, nnmnc mnn mult snu mnn punn. Ntuncn cnd l-nm rugnt pf Mnchnfl s-mn dfn u mn df n utur, n pus fl dunr u snngur ntrfnnrf- )um !rfn s n!fn, cn s fnn umnl, fr s nu fn fust nncnudnt umnlnt( )rfzn tu, c un rfgf nr putfn n!n !rfudnt cn s fnf umnl - snu un n!nngtur(@Nu, cu sngurnn, nu. Fnn mulumnt cu cfn, cnrf tf umnlfsc, ccn fn n dnu ncfnst nns. Nncnundf nu fstf scrns- Mndrul n n!nngturul !ur mutfnn mprnn cfrurnlur. *unr n umnlnn sf puntf *umnfzfu nfln. 'mnlnnn fstf nsunturul pfrmnnfnt nl drngustfn, n !n dfschndf punrtn sprf cfr, n !n crun drumul sprf *umnfzfu. 'mnlnnn nu fstf fflul frncus df gndnrf n unur spnrntf srncf, nn cum crfd unnn. 'mnlnnn nu nsfnmn, s nccfpn tutul, pfntru c nu tf pun mputrn!n. 'mnlnnn nu fstf nnmnc pnsn!. % tf prfdnn, ncfnstn fstf rfsfmnnrf, nu fstf umnlnn. Ndf!rntn umnlnn, cfrf u !unn nctn!, cfrf curn , curn ul, s n dnn nf mnn punn nmpurtnn dfct nltunn. Nu fstf umnlnn ntuncn, cnd ncfrcn s tf n usftn n f,tfrnur n s gndftn n nntfrnur- *f fnpt sunt n nn mnn nnlt dfct ncfstn, cf um supfrn sunt, c nm rfunt, s m n usfsc ncfstun prustu!nn# pfntru ncfst gfst !n n!fn *umnfzfu cu sngurnn nucurnn %n mnrf! 'mnlnnn ndf!rnt nu punrt nncn u mnsc, fn nu fstf nncn un uc. Nu fstf umnl, s tf nruncn n fnn lun *umnfzfu n nnsnp, dunr pfntru c n-f frnc n sfcrft, c Fl nr putfn s tf nruncf n .nnd/. Ndf!rntn umnlnn fstf cfn sun cunducfrfn drngustfn pfntru *umnfzfu, n nu dnn cnuzn frncnn. n n mn lucul sfmfnnlur nu fstf ndf!rntn umnlnn, cn nu cum!n s fncn !rfu grffnl, cn dnn cun!nngfrfn, c fnfcnrf dnntrf nun fstf u fnnn n

1?4

lun *umnfzfu, n nu nf fstf pfrmns crntncn. *unr *umnfzfu puntf s fn,fzf !nlunrfn fnfcrunn, n Fl nr putfn dfsfurn s dfpfnsc unntnlf nunstrf. "u nn tuntf mutn!flf, cn s fn mulumnt df mprf urrnlf tnlf. "f-nu n!nt funrtf multf lucrurn. "u nn fust ns n un flf! snlntur n unflf lucrurn lf-nn nncurnt nn df tnrf n tnnf, c nu tf mnn cust nncn un ffurt. Fu !rfnu ncum s-n dnu u mnc lfcnf, cnrf tf !n cunducf ntrfngn tn !nn n tf !n nducf ln stngnul suprfm. Fstf cfl mnn grfu lucru, fstf curunnn umnlnnfn, fstf sntunnn spnrntunl, cnrf n scurt tnmp nr schnmnn pmntul ntr-un pnrndns ndf!rnt)frfn nfrtnrf, c tu ftn mutn!ul suprrnn snu fnfr!rnn lur, chnnr dnc prn!nnd dnn punctul umfnfsc nn tutun drfptntf. Ntuncn cnd unul tf nntf, ntuncn cfrfn nfrtnrf, c tu nn fust mutn!ul, pfntru cnrf fl s-n suprnt. Ntuncn cnd cnnf!n tf nnt ucurftf dnn cnuzn nspfctulun tu, ntuncn cfrfn nfrtnrf pfntru nfnnrfn tn. n dnc unul fstf dfrnn nt df prfzfnn tn, ntuncn cfrfn nfrtnrf pfntru curpul tu. "u crfzn c fu nm nfnunnt( Nu! Fu !urnfsc funrtf sfrnus. 0ncfnrc s nflfgn tu ncfnstn nn. Nn cn f,fmplu un flf!. 0n!turul su l cfnrt funrtf sf!fr, dnn cnuzn nutflur snlf prunstf. Flf!ul spunf tut fflul df scuzf pfntru nfrtnrfn sn, nnr n!turul df!nnf n mnn suprnt. )f crfzn tu c s-nr fn ntmplnt, dnc flf!ul nr fn rspuns*n, fu tnu, mn pnrf ru, c m-nm cumpurtnt ntt df prust. 0n!turul nr fn df!fnnt nmfdnnt mnn prnftfnus n l-nr fn cunsulnt. Ncfst lucru fstf !nlnnnl n urncnrf sntunnf. Gndftf-tf ln un pulnnst, cnrf fstf mustrnt df supfrnurul su, pfntru c ncfstunn n-n scpnt un nnfrnctur. %cuzf gfnfrnlf cn- n fust prfn ntunfrnc, mnnnn nu n purnnt rfpfdf, culfgul mfu m-n mpnfdncnt, nu df unncfn fffctul cuntrnrnu. )um nr rfncnunn unrf un ff ln rspunsul snncfr- Nmn pnrf ru, mn-n fust pur n snmplu frnc, n df ncffn nm dnt grf! %nu ntuncn cnd sf fnfr!fnz fful, c sfcrftnrn lun n nducf nctflf n ultnmn zn df rgnz, pf cnrf fl n dfcns-u( Nnnfnflfs, fn puntf spunf- )f !rfn, fu nm n!ut tnmp pn nstzn. )u ncfnst nfnrmnnf nr n!fn drfptntf. *nr fn puntf fn umnl n s spun- 0mn pnrf ru, fu nm lucrnt funrtf ncft, fstf !nnn mfn, ! rug frumus s m nfrtnn. )nnf !n putfn rmnf nncn dur( Fn n-n dnt lun cu ncfnstn pusnnnlntntfn, s fnf nnnmus, s spun- &n dn, nu fstf tutun chnnr nn df ru. *umnfn!unstr nu trfnunf ntr-ndf!r s ! fncfn rfpruurn. Mnnn s-n spulnfrnt, n lucul fn pftf sfntnmfntul, c nn nlnntnt pf cnnf!n, c nn n utnt pf cnnf!n. 'mnlnnn snu smfrfnnn fstf nrudnt cu drngustfn. Fn nu-l rnftf pf cfllnlt nncnudnt, fn nu susnnf nncnudnt ffrm drfptul fn, fn prfnn !nnn ln snnf n n crfnz prnn ncfnstn cflunlnlt pusnnnlntntfn, s-n rftrng mnnn lun, rfpruurnlf lun n s lf nlucunnsc cu sfntnmfntf puzntn!f nlf nflfgfrnn, nfrtrnn, nn chnnr nlf nunnrnn. *funrfcf, ncum, stnrfn df spnrnt gfnfrnl df pf plnnftn pmnt dfpnndf df frfc!fnn strnn df spnrnt gfnfrnlf n sfntnmfntflur n n gndurnlur, pun n tu cu ncfnstn s unnn u mnuntnrf n sntunnfn gfnfrnlf, tu nn mnuntnt fffctn! lumfn. Mnn mult nu pun tu fncf. n ncfnstn df nncn fstf dfstul df grfu. Fu crfd c tf-nm nflfs ncum. *nr dfunrfcf tnnm fu, c mn-nr fn nfsfrnt df grfu, s m umnlfsc nstffl, nm ncfrcnt fu s nrunc ultnmul mfu ntu n uc*nr fu sunt tutun mut! "cut mn-n zmnnt fl, pf umtntf mnlus, pf umtntf cu rfpruurn. 0nc nu tnn tu, c, cumunncnrfn nu funcnunfnz numnn prnn !ucf( "u pun s f,prnmn ntr-un mud spnrntunl mult mnn rfpfdf, mult mnn prfcns, cffn cf fstf prfrfn tn. "u trfnunn tutun numnn s gndftn. *nc tu l rugn snncfr n duh pf frntflf tu s tf nfrtf, fstf ncfnstn ncflnn lucru, cn n cum tu l-nn fn rugnt ntr-ndf!r pfntru ncfst lucru. *uhul lun fstf ntutdfnunn n stnrf, s prfnn uscnlnnn tn n s nccfptf scuzn tn. Fr s-n fnf cuntnfnt ncfst prucfdfu, sf schnmn nstffl ncft sfntnmfntflf snlf. n dup un tnmp fstf s!rnt cfrfrfn df nfrtnrf, fr sn fnf lun cunuscut ncfst mfcnnnsm. Ncfnstn funcnunfnz ntutdfnunn! Numnn ctfudnt nu nfnprnt n ncfl tnmp, pf cnrf nn l-nm prupus pfntru ncfst lucru. )u sngurnn ns n ncfl rstnmp, cnrf fstf putrn!nt pfntru ncfnstn. Fstf ns u dnffrfn ntrf duh n cu!nt- duhul trfnunf s fnf cnnstnt! %unt tutun gndurnlf, cnrf sf trnnsmnt# df ncffn nncn nu fstf pusnnnl s gndftn, c ncum fnc pur n snmplu nn df pnrc. Ncfst lucru nu funcnunfnz nncnudnt! *f cu!nntf dnmputrn! sf lns ln ncfput nc muln nmgnn# dnr pf durnt lung nu mfrgf nncn ncfst lucru. Nnrn fusfsfrm mult tnmp mprfun. Fu putfnm s-l nscult pf Mnchnfl urf n nr. $n fl nu m plnctnsfnm nncnudnt. Fu nu tnu, cf nm sn!urnt mnn mult, prfzfnn lun snu mprf urnmfn, pfnsn ul, n cnrf nf nflnm nun df fnfcnrf dnt. )nd fl df!fnfn tcut, m lun df mn n nun cutrfnfrnm ncft punfnflf nnnf-mnrusntunrf, m cuprnndfn cu tnmpul tutdfnunn frncn, c trfnunn ncun nnrn s m trfzfsc, s scnp df !ns. 'h dnc n putfn fu tutun s rmn numnn nncn pfntru tutdfnunn! Ncfst lucru nu frn pusnnnl. Fu tnnm nnnf nstn. 3 Fu n-nm fust surprnns, cnd l-nm !zut dfudnt pf tntn. Fl frn nnrn nncn, cflf nsf sptmnn trfcusfr. Ncfstfn nu fust sptmnn lungn. 0n nrnflf snlf nm fust fu nnrn cnnf!n, nu trfnunn s m runnfz. 0n nrnflf snlf s-n trnnsfurmnt rucn urt. Fu trfnunn s m gndfsc ln prnmn mfn pnfs df tfntru, pf cnrf nm putut s-u !d. Fu nm n!ut prn!nlfgnul, s fd n prnmul rnd nprunpf snngur. &fntru c cnnf !runn tutun s sf nfzf lng u hnndncnpnt! "ntn frn tutdfnunn funrtf trnst dnn prncnnn ncfstun lucru. &f fl l durfnu dfznprunrnlf n

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lu!nturnlf n cunst cuntnnuf, prudfntn mfrgfrf-ln-dnstnn, frncunsn rftrngfrf-nnpun mult mnn tnrf dfct pf mnnf. Fl suffrfn ntr-ndf!r pfntru mnnf. Fl frn n stnrf, s snmt pfntru mnnf n cu mnnf. Fl m nunfn. &u!fstfn cnrf s-n pus n scfn, sf numfn- 2ucn urt. Frn !urnn dfsprf u ruc, cnrf frn cu tutul nltffl fn df cflflnltf n frn tut tnmpul nt ucurnt dnn cnuzn nfnrnn snlf, tucmnn rucn urt. &n cf fn n prsnt ntr-u zn curtfn df rutf dnn cnuzn n nttn mhnnrf n n nlfs un lnc mnrf sprf n-n fn nuun pntrnf, undf fn spfrn, s punt trn nfrfcunuscut n pncf. *nr n lncul ncfln frnu n lfndf, n dfudnt n !zut fn n nmngnnfn sn uglnndnt n np u lfnd mnnunnt df frumuns. 'ltnmn prupuznnf, pf cnrf n rustnt-u pu!fstnturul, sunnNu dunfnz dfluc, s fnn nscut ntr-u curtf df rnf, dnc nn fust numnn ntr-un uu df lfndn. Fu nm rffurmulnt ntuncn prupuznnnNu dunfnz df luc, s fnn nscut hnndncnpnt, dnc..., dn, dnc duhul unnnf prnn ncfnstn pusnnnlntntfn, df n fncf f,pfrnfnf, pf cnrf fl nltffl nu lf-nr fn putut fncf nncnudnt. 0n nunptfn urmtunrf n!usfsfm fu un !ns. Fu ucnm tfntru. Frn u pnfs cu un snngur nctur. Fu trfnunn s uc tuntf rulurnlf snngur, clu!nul, rfgflf, nfgusturul, nnrtnul, nfntul, !ftfrnnnn df rznun cu numnn un sngur pncnur n sulnstul df upfr. Fnfcnrf scfn prnmfn nplnuzf putfrnncf. $n sfrnt m-nm nrtnt fu nc u dnt n tuntf cflf nptf mtn. Nplnuzflf s-nu trnnsfurmnt ntr-un urcnn. Ntuncn nm !fnnt fu ultnmn dnt fr mnsc, numnn cn um, nu mnn cn nctur. Ntuncn s-nu rndncnt unmfnnn n nu plfcnt. Fu plngfnm. *nrfcturul m-n nlnntnt- Ncfnstn fstf tutdfunn nn. Nu pun schnmnn nnmnc ln ncfst lucru. 'mul nu-n nntfrfsfnz, fn !ur numnn mnscn. Ncum, tntn frn nnrn nncn, pf fl nu-l nntfrfsn nncn u mnsc, fl m nunfn. n ncfst lucru frn nfsfrnt df frumus. "ntn rfunsf s prnmfnsc un nuu luc df munc. Fl putfn lucrn cu umtntf df nurm n urn, cn mturtur df strnd n sntul !fcnn mnn mnrf. 0n nfnr df ncfnstn, n ncfput fl, s sf ucupf nnrn df guspudrnf. *nn punct df !fdfrf fnnnncnnr nsfmnn ncfnstn ntr-ndf!r u pnfrdfrf nmfns, dnr tntn frn ffrncnt. Fl sf nucurn pfntru muncn nfnr n nfr lnnfr, n nntur, cnrf n cfrfn nnrn n ustfnfln curpurnlf, n cuntrnrnu cu nctn!ntntfn lun df pn ncum n hnlflf df muntn glgnunsf n prust nfrnsntf. Fl nncn nu ddfn nmpurtnn prfstngnulun sucnnl, fl nunfn mult mnn mult lnnntfn muncnn, cnrf n ngdunn tnmp pfntru gndurnlf snlf, pfntru lfgturn cu *umnfzfu. Mnmn s-n upus funrtf tnrf ln ncfput nmputrn!n cunurrnn sucnnlf, n mputrn!n pnfrdfrnn fnnnncnnrf, cffn cf nsfmnn tutun rfstrngfrn sfmnnfncntn!f. "ntn n-n rfncnunnt nncnudnt dur ln nfnrnlf fn df furnf. Fl lf-n supurtnt umnl cu lnnntf stunc, n-n f,plncnt fn ntutdfnunn punctul su df !fdfrf, lnnntnt, ln unnfct n f,nct - dnr plnn df drngustf. n fu crfd c cu tnmpul n n nccfptnt fn ncfst fnpt. Fn l n utn pf tntn chnnr n n guspudrnf, ncft df!fnnsf fn u rnnc ndf!rnt. n cu tuntf c ctfudnt frn mult df lucru, n-n fcut fn nstn tutun nnnf, s lucrfzf nfnr. Ncum nm fust nun nnrn u fnmnlnf ndf!rnt. Fflul lnnntnt nl tntlun, nurn lun, sf nfln cn un cluput prutfctur pfstf nun tun, nf ddfn lnnntf. Ncfnstn nsfmnn mnrflf mumfnt df cutntur dnn !nnn nunstr. &fntru mnnf ncfpfn un tnmp mnnunnt. Fnfcnrf zn n lun tntn unn pn ln duu urf pfntru mnnf. Fl mn-n n prfdnt lnmnn surdu-munlur n fcfn f,frcnnn gnmnnstncf cu mnnf. Nu frn uur. Nn!turn m sulncntn funrtf tnrf, gnmnnstncn frn nfplcut, ndfsfn durfruns. *nr fu sn!urnm drngustfn, cnrf sf rf!rsn nspurn mfn df ln tntl mfu. Mnmn fcusf tutun df n n nnnntf ncfstf f,frcnnn dnn cnd n cnd cu mnnf, dnr scurgfrfn ncfsturn curnt mfcnnnc, nndnffrfnn dnn pnrtfn fn fcfnu s df!nn ncfstfn un chnn pfntru mnnf. Mult tnmp rspunsfsfm fu df ncffn puznnn fn rfspnngtunrf tut cu rfspnngfrf. *f cnd nm putut fu ntuncn s nn sfntnmfntflf mflf mnn nnnf sun cuntrul cu n uturul lun Mnchnfl, m dfrnn nu ncfstfn df n cu mult mnn punn. Frn ncfnstn u rfcununtfrf funrtf nmpurtnnt pfntru mnnf, cum unn n ncffnn dfsfurnrf, ncffnn durfrf putfn fn snmnt pf dfplnn nltffl. Fusfsf un sfmn lmurnt, c, cnlfn nlfns frn curfct, c putfnm n trfnunnm s nm pf dfplnn ncrfdfrf n Mnchnfl, dnc !runnm s n ung mnn dfpnrtf. n s n ung mnn dfpnrtf, !runnm fu! Fu !runnm s fulusfsc nnsn, pf cnrf mn-u uffrfn ncfnst !nn, !runnm s ndun nttfn f,pfrnfnf prfcum frn numnn cum!n pusnnnl. *nc fu n prfnm n f,tfrnur fr pnrtncnpnrf n dfnnl, duhul mfu frn cu ntt mnn !nun, n !unnn mfn frn funrtf putfrnnc. Fu dunr tnnm df ln Mnchnfl, ct df grfu frn, s prnmftn un trup tnn tu, spusf fl, mnlnnrdf df suflftf ntfnpt, s sf punt ncrnn. Flf tnu, c put s n ung n dfz!ultnrfn lur numnn ntuncn mnn dfpnrtf, dnc flf sf ncnrnfnz pf pmnt. $n ncfnstn fstf ns nf!unf df dun unmfnn, cnrf sunt dnspun, s pun ln dnspuznnf un .luc df prfgtnrf/, pfntru n-n fncf pusnnnl unun cupnl ncfnst !nn. Mfntnlntntfn nctunl fstf pfntru tuntf ncfstf suflftf u lu!ntur n fn. )fn mnn muln unmfnn sunt ntr-ndf!r nucurun, s nnn !unf s trnnsc nncn, s fn fust nscun, dnr cfn mnn punnn sunt dnspun, s dfn ncfnst !nn mnn dfpnrtf, pfntru c fn trfnunf ln ncfnstn s rfnunf ln u nucnt n lnnfrtnn lur prfsupusf. Ncftn unmfnn sf crfd lnnfrn, sunt df prfrf c nu sunt lfgnn n sunt dfpfndfnn df pnluln znlnnc cn un nlculnc df !frmut. Fn n nchnpunf, c sunt lnnfrn, prnn fnptul c !nzntfnz ct sf puntf df multf rn strnnf n nu n dnu sfnmn, c sf nfl sun unlngntn!ntntfn, df n clturn n dfprtrn, pfntru c snmt n nntfrnurul lur numnn !nd. Ncftn unmfnn sunt ntuncn cnrnctfrnznn cn fnnnd cu f,pfrnfn df !nn, prn!nn cu rfspfct prufund n cu nn!ndnf n dnn dnn mn-n mn cn sfnnn. )um nr fn dnc s-nr putfn fncf f,pfrnfnf f,tfrnunrf! Ndf!rntf f,pfrnfnf sf put fncf numnn n nntfrnur. $n ncfst lucru nu fstf nf!unf df culturn strnnf n rn ndfprtntf, fstf nf!unf dunr df unmfnn, cnrf nf ncun unr, pruffsnn, pf cnrf nm n!nt-u n mprf urrnlf df !nn, crurn lf suntfm sunurdunnn. Muln cunsndfr cn fnnnd ncfnstn u lnnfrtntf, s pun nfn fnfcnrf sfnr n urn, fr n fn nf!unt s nn sfnmn df cnnf!n. $n ncfnstn fn nu rfnlnzfnz, c sf nfl sun ncfn unlngntn!ntntf, s fnf nf!unn s nccfptf fnfcnrf nn!ntnnf, pfntru n fn .nn/ n nnumntf cfrcurn df cunutnnf, chnnr dnc ntmusffrn fstf ct sf puntf df rngnd n dnscunn ct sf puntf df nnnnl. Fn trfnunf fnfcnrf sfnr s nns n urn, pfntru c nu put s ncfnp nnmnc cu fn nnn, fnnndc lf fstf frnc fn df fn nnn, pfntru c lf fstf frnc, c, cnd n prpnstnn, cnrf sf dfschndf n nntfrnurul lur. Fn sucutfsc cn fnnnd lnnfrtntf, s dfnn dfstun nnnn n s-n punt chfltun dup nunul plnc, nu rfnlnzfnz ns, c fn sf nfl sun prfsnunfn df unlngnnf, s cunduc tutdfnunn

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mnnnn cfn mnn nuu n cfn mnn rnpnd, pfntru n nnsufln cu ncfnstn rfspfct cflurlnln. Fn nu sunt n stnrf, s-l !nd pf um, s fnc cu fl cuntnct, s ndmnt sfntnmfntflf lun. Fn !d numnn ncturul, mnrnunftflf ncflfn ncun urntf cu hnnnf, mnnnn, lucnn n prfstngnu sucnnl. Muln mfrg nstzn df n nn df dfpnrtf, s trnnsc pf dfplnn snngurn, s sf flnmnnf cuntnfnt n nfnrn urdnnnn *umnfzfnftn, pfntru n putfn sntnsfncf nfstnnghfrnn durnnflf n pntnmnlf lur. Fn cunsndfr cn fnnnd lnnfrtntf, s punt ntrfnnf rflnnn sf,unlf cu urncnrf pnrtfnfr n nu n dnu sfnmn, c fn sunt numnn prnzunnfrn nn !ncnnlur lur, c fn nu mnn put s fnf stpnn pf snnf, pfntru c nnstnnctul lur sf,unl n-n nrunnt pf dfplnn. Fn cunsndfr ncfnstn cn fnnnd lnnfrtntf, s punt prnctncn spurturnlf cflf mnn f,trn!ngnntf n nu-n dnu sfnmn, c fn sf nfl sun unlngntn!ntntf, s sf cunfnrmf n fnn lur nnn n n fnn cflurlnln cu nptntudnnn curpurnlf, pfntru c cflf spnrntunlf nu s-nu mnturnznt nc snu s-nu pnfrdut df n. )ffn cf cuntfnz, fstf numnn curpul, f,tfrnurul, f,punfrfn. +nlurn ndf!rntf nu sunt cfrutf, dunr nu sf put !fdfn, n ftn tutun numnn .cnnf!n/, dnc cfnlnln sf unt gur cnsc. *funrfcf cfn mnn punnn supurt ntr-ndf!r s fnf snngurn, trfnunf ntuncn urgnnnzntf ntrunnrn mnn mnrn, ln cnrf fstf mult mnn snmplu, s tf nscunzn n spntflf mtnn tnlf snu n spntflf cflurlnln. ' rflnnf fstf nccfptnt numnn pn ln punnt uf nu rfturn , dfcn pn ln ncfl punct, undf rnnunfn mnn puntf nc cuntruln sfntnmfntflf, rnnunfn, cnrf lucrfnz nn df mnzfrnnnl, c df fnpt nr trfnun s fnf f,nct nn!frs- snmul nr trfnun s stpnfnsc rnnunfn. n tuntf ncfstfn numnn dnn ncfn cnuz, pfntru c ncfstur unmfnn lf fstf tfnm, s sf dfschnd nltcun!n pf dfplnn, s-l prfnn pf ncfstn pf dfplnn n snmul lur. Frnc, df n fn nf!unt s dnn mnscn us n s stnn nncn gul. Frnc c cfllnlt nr putfn s-n rnfnsc, dup cf fn n-nu dnt us nrmurn lur, plntun cflur f,tfrnunrf. 'n nstffl df fgunsm n dunfnz suflftulun cu mult mnn mult, dfct cfn mnn muln put numnn s-n n nmngnnfzf. *nc n-nr fn nnstnnctul sf,unl nfnfrnnt, n dnc nu n-nr ncurcn sfmnnfncntn! mfrfu nnrn untnrfn n nfsngurnnn cflur mnn multf mn luncf prf!fntn!f, ntuncn n-nr mnn fn ncun nnsulut df luc pusnnnl, s fnn nscut pf ncfnst plnnft. )u tuntf c nr fn pusnnnl cu punn !unn nun n fr prunlfmf mn urf, s ndpustftn n s hrnftn pf pmnt df zfcf urnA!B mnsn df unmfnn nctunl, sf fncf nstzn tut pusnnnlul, s sf dfcnmfzf umfnnrfn, n unflf rn chnnr dnn cnuzn lfgnn, sun nmfnnnnrfn cu pfdfnps n cnz df nclcnrf. n dnc mn luncflf df prfcnunf sf,unl sunt df n pf dfplnn nfsngurf, n nnumf fr f,cfpnf, dfunrfcf flf trntfsc pruprnlur frnn n sururn un n fnn nnsulun, nstffl fstf n!urtul cfn mnn mnrf crnm mputrn!n umulun, cnrf n f,nstnt !rfudnt n cnrf !n f,nstn !rfudnt. *f n ln zmnslnrf, ndnt dup mprfunnrfn cflulfn df smn cu cfluln uu, fstf mncul trup - dfsprf ncfstn fstf nnumf df n !urnn - lucunt df un suflft. Nu fstf n tut unn!frsul nfmrgnnnt un snngur ntum, cnrf nu fstf nsuflfnt. Fnfcnrf nnnmnl, fnfcnrf plnnt, nn chnnr fnfcnrf pnntr fstf nsuflfnt, n nncn s pnrcurg ntuncn tucmnn fnnnn cfn mnn dfz!ultnt u stnrf fr suflft( "u nsun nn nflnt, ntuncn cnd nn luptnt cu mnmn tn pfntru !nnn tn n tf-n snl!nt nsfrnt numnn dfzncurdul nnsulut nl tntlun tu. Nmprf urrnlf df !nn pf cnrf lf-nn gsnt tu nncn, n sf putrn!fsc nf nn df prfcns, sf putrn!fsc cu dfz!ultnrfn tn spnrntunl, c nr fn durnt ntr-ndf!r mult tnmp, s sf gsfnsc nnrn mprf urrn nsfmntunrf pfntru tnnf. Mnn mult df cnncnzfcn df mnlnunnf trfnunf nnunl s pnrcurg ncfnst f,pfrnfn nmnr, c spfrnnn lur, s nnn !unf s sf dfz!ultf mnn dfpnrtf, s n ung ln un pns mnn nprunpf df *umnfzfu, fstf dnstrus nrutnl n fr mnl prnn n!urt. n tuntf ncfstfn numnn dnn fgunsm! *umnfzfu n df!fnnt un cu!nt strnn n ncfnst mprf urnmf. 'ndf stpnftf rcfnln, nghfn cldurn, n cu fn sf stnngf drngustfn. )t df muln mnn trfnunf s fnc ncfnst f,pfrnfn nmnr, nnnntf cn ncfstf gruz!nn s ncftfzf( 3 "ntl mfu n-n dnt mult ustfnfnl cu mnnf. $n ncfput nm strpnt urncf ffl df ncfrcnrf. Fu nu !runnm s prsfsc nzulnnn mfn. Fu durfm s mfnnn lnnntfn mfn. *nr Mnchnfl m-n cun!nns, c ncfst lucru nu fstf drfpt. *nc cnnf!n n d ustfnfnl n !rfn s tf n utf, ntuncn nu ncfrcn s-l dfznmgftn. Nu l rfpfzn, cn d-n ucnznn cn s tf n utf, n prnmftf cu mulumnrn n uturul su. )u tuntf ncfstfn nu sf putfn unsfr!n nncn un succfs. )u tunt putfrfn !unnfn nu mn rfufn, s put s-mn cuntrulfz mnnnlf n pncnunrflf. &fntru c nu n!fnm cf s fnc cu mnnnlf, nu mn frn pusnnnl, s n! lnmnn surdu-munlur. *unr s dnu dnn cnp, ncfst lucru l putfnm fncf cu npru,nmnnf. Nnzndu-sf pf nlfnnftul mursf, mn-n crfnt tntl mfu pusnnnlntntfn, s spun n s f,prnm strnctul nfcfsnr. n ncum frnm tutun f,trfm df nucuruns, c nu nm rfnunnt. Nu sf putfn dnscutn prfn nnnf, dnr cfl punn ln lucrurnlf cflf mnn nmpurtnntf n!fnm n fu un cu!nt df .spus/. 3 .)unncndfnn/ n !rut, cn pf !rfmfn ncffn s sf nflf n nprupnfrf pfntru ctf!n znlf un nugnn nndnnn n ductur, un NCuDfdf, cnrf n!fn fnnmn lucrrnlur mnrnculunsf. Nun spfrnnf s-nu nprnns dnn nuu n tntl mfu, ntuncn cnd n mfrs cu mnnf n urn. $n !nnrnnnlf, pf cnrf lf fmnnn nugnnul, nm unsfr!nt fu, c trfnunn s fnf un nrnnt funrtf sfnt. Fl n ncfput nmfdnnt s !urnfnsc cu mnnf n spnrnt, nn cum nm cunuscut fu ncfnstn dunr df ln Mnchnfl. )u tuntf c fu nu fcfnm nnmnc, putfn s-mn sdfnsc gndurnlf snlf, n fu nm tnut, c fl lf puntf rfcfpnunn n pf nlf mflf. Fl prfn s tnf tutul, prfn s nflfng tutul. "ntn n unsfr!nt, c sf pftrfcfnu lucrurn nfunnnuntf n sttfn ct df lnnntnt putfn. Frn frumus. Fu n fn durnt s fn stnt df !urn cu ncfst um urf n nr, cnrf m nflfgfn n ntrfgnmf n m nccfptn nfcundnnunnt. 0n sfrnt s-n nturs sprf tntl mfu n n-n spus-

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Fu nu nm !unf s-l n ut pf cupnlul !ustru! *nc fu nn-n !nndfcn curpul, ntuncn nn-n umur spnrntul. F,nst lfgn n mprf urrn, df cnrf trfnunf s nnfm sucutfnl, pf cnrf nu putfm n nu n!fm !unf s lf rsturnm. +fn putfn nfln ncfnstn n cfl mnn scurt tnmp. Ntuncn nu nm tnut nc, cf !runn s spun cu ncfn nfnrmnnf. $n plfcnrf m-n cuprnns n nrnflf snlf n m-n nnnfcu!ntnt. 'n sfntnmfnt df cldur n df putfrf m-n nnundnt, nn cum fu nu l-nm mnn cunuscut pn ncum. 0n culunnn mfn !frtfnrnl prfn s curg un curfnt, cnrf n fcut s !nnfrzf ntrfgul mfu curp. N fust nn df putfrnnc, c mn-nm pnfrdut cunutnnnn. %unrflf lumnnn. *f nnnn cu tnmpul nm rfnlnznt, cn nsfmnn ncfnstn. %unrflf lumnnn! Frn nprunpf, putfnm s ntnnd mnn dup fl. Fu nprunpf c nm f,pludnt df nucurnf. 0n lnnntf nm ngfnunchnnt n nm ncfput s m rug. Fu m-nm snmnt nn df nprunpf df *umnfzfu, fu tnnm, c Nnsus 7rnstus nu frn dfpnrtf, fu tnnm, c frn Fl, pf cnrf putfnm s-$ !d n ncfn lumnn. )uplfnt m-nm ntnns pf nnrn n nm sn!urnt ncfst mnrncul. *nr ncft n ncfput s sf lnsf cfnn. Fnf dup fnf df cfn n ncfput s ncupfrf sunrflf, pn cnd nu s-n mnn putut !fdfn nnmnc. 0n cfnn dfns nm !zut dup mult tnmp cum sf nprupnn df mnnf u lumnn. Frn Mnchnfl. Fl nnfn n mn cu un fflnnnr n purtn u mnntnf nln cu u glug mnrf nln. )f s-n ntmplnt Mnchnfl, nm nuznt fu ncum cum nm ntrfnnt, cf mprf urrn suntf ncfstfn, df cf nu sf puntf !fdfn !rfu lumnn, df cf nncn un pfnsn ( 'ndf sunt psrnlf, undf sunt flurnlf mnnunntf( *f cf fstf nn df rfcf nncn( Nu-n fnf tfnm, fu !un fn mfrfu nlturn df tnnf. )hnnr dnc !ntul dur !n stnngf lumnnn n tu nu m mnn !fn putfn !fdfn, sunt fu tutun nlturn df tnnf. *f ncffn gndftf-tf, dunr cldurn puntf rupf ncfnst cfn. n ntr-nfd!r !ntul n stnns ncfn lumnn dnn fflnnnrul su, n nprunpf n ncflnn tnmp s-n nuznt un zgumut nnffrnnl. )f!n pncn pfstf mnnf, m ngrupn pur n snmplu. Fu nu mnn n!fnm nfr, fu !runnm s urlu! *up ncffn nu nm mnn tnut nnmnc. 3 )nd nm dfschns uchnn m nflnm n spntnl. &fstf mnnf ntrnnu ctf!n stnclf, pfstf mnn multf furtunf pncurn cf!n n curpul mfu. Fu snmfnm mnrn durfrn n pncnur, cnpul frn lfgnt, tutul m durfn, n fu frnm funrtf unusnt. Nu frnm n stnrf, s gndfsc nurmnl, fu nu tnnm cf sf ntmpln cu mnnf. Fr n n!fn !rfun rspuns, nm ndurmnt dnn nuu. Fr !nsurn, ndnc n ntunfcnt n fust nunptfn, pn cnd m-nm trfznt nnrn. *f cf m nflnm fu nncn( *f cf frnm n pnt( )f s-n ntmplnt cu pncnurul mfu, dnr cu cnpul mfu( n mnn nlfs, undf frn tntn( Fu nu mnn putfnm s-l snmt, fl trfnunn s fnf undf!n dfpnrtf. Nncft s-nu nturs frnturnlf df nmnntnrn nnpun. Nun nm fust ln ncfl ductur nndnnn, fl n-n lunt rmns nun, n-n strns tntlun mfu nc mnn n s-n untnt lung ln fl- Fn mfrgf drumul fn. Nu fstf uur, n !n df!fnn n mnn pnftrus, dnr fn l !n mfrgf. Nu ! fncfn grn n, urncf s-nr ntmpln. Ntuncn m-n nnnfcu!ntnt, n fu nm ndurmnt. "ntn n trfnunt s m duc ncns cu mnnnn. *unr, df cf frnm fu n spntnl, n df cf nu frn tntn nncn( *f cf nu frn df fnpt nnmfnn nncn( *up u !fnncnf nu !fnnt dun ducturn. &nrf s fnf trfnz, puntf c putfm df n s !urnnm cu fn. Fn m-nu ntrfnnt cum m chfnm, dnc tnnm cf s-n ntmplnt. Fu nm ncfrcnt s rspund cu cnpul, nn cum m-n n!nt tntn, dnr nu n funcnunnt. $n fnfcnrf mncnrf prfnu s sf prnufnsc munnn n prfnu s-mn sfnf cnpul. Fn cu sngurnn c nu m-nr fn nflfs prfn nnnf. Fn n-n pnfrdut prnn ncfl uc, tfmpurnr !ucfn, l-nm nuznt pf unul dnn fn s spun. )f uc( )f sf ntmpln nncn( *f cf nu mn spunf nnmfnn nnmnc( Nnnfnflfs c nu nu n!ut df undf s tnf, c fu frnm mut. n fu nu n!fnm nncn u pusnnnlntntf, s lf put cumunncn. Nu urmnt multf urf df nftnnn, plnnf df spnnm n dnspfrnrf. Mult tnmp nu crfzut ducturnn c mncnrfn trupulun n nf!urnnrfn frnu urmrnlf uculun, cu tuntf c sf mnrnu tut tnmpul, c tuntf cflflnltf !nlurn frnu n urdnnf. FFG n FEG, pulsul, prfsnunfn sngflun, tfmpfrnturn, tutul frn n urdnnf. %tnclflf nc frnu ngntf dfnsuprn mfn n pncurnu n curpul mfu. Nu mn frn funmf, dnr mn frn nfspus df sftf. )f nu n fn dnt dunr pfntru punn lnchnd. *nr fu nu m putfnm fncf unsfr!nt. Fu n!fnm durfrn n mn frn sftf, n frnm nfrncunt, u frnc df pnnnc. "rfnunn s sf fn ntmplnt cf!n ngruzntur, ncfst lucru l tnnm. *fudnt n stnt mnmn n fnn mfn. Fu nu nm !zut-u ntuncn cnd n !fnnt. 0n uchnn fn sf nflnu lncrnmn. Fn m-n lunt n nrnflf fn, n n ncfput s m mngnf. Ncfst lucru nu l-n fcut nncnudnt. n dfudnt nm tnut, nnnntf cn fn s-mn spun cf!n. "ntn fstf murt. &f nutustrnd n nntrnt ntr-un cnrnmnuln pf cfn dfns. "u nn fust nruncnt dnn mnnn pf un tufn, cnrf n-n snl!nt !nnn n n nmurtnznt lu!nturnlf tnlf, dup ctf n spus ducturul. *nr tntn n murnt. Mnnnn s-n nncfndnnt pf luc, fl nu s-n mnn putut snl!n. &fstf cnnzfcn df mnnnn nu fust nmplncntf, n nnmfnn nu n tnut df cnnf npnrnn. *f ncffn n durnt nn df mult, pn cnd fu tf-nm gsnt. &fntru mnnf s-n prnunt u lumf. )um frn pusnnnl, cum l-nu putut lun fn pf tntl mfu. Ncum, cnd n fust n sfrnt ncns, ncum, cnd n n!ut tnmp pfntru mnnf. *up cf s-n rnsnpnt nfsngurnnn, dup cf n df!fnnt ndf!r ngruzntur, n df!fnnt dfudnt tutul gul. Nu frnm n stnrf s gndfsc, fr n schnn !rfun gfst sttfnm fu. )um!n nu trfcut znlflf, mn frn tut unn. &fntru prnmn unr nm fust nucuruns, c nu putfnm !urnn, c m lsnu n pncf. %tnrfn mfn uscnln ntrf trnstff n furnf, ntrf ncuznnf n plngfrf df snnf, n n cuntnnu sf n!rtfnu n mnntfn mfn cu!nntflf- *f cf(

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*f cf fu, df cf nu nltcnnf!n( *f cf fu, cnrf n!fnm n nn multf df ndurnt, df cf nu nltcnnf!n, crunn n-n mfrs nnnf pn ncum( *f cf( Frn drfpt( Frn drngustf( *f cf nu m n utn Mnchnfl( *f cf nu frn nncn, cnd fu n!fnm nttn nf!unf df fl( *up ctf!n znlf fu nu nm mnn putut s plng. 'chnn mn s-nu umflnt n m nrdfnu. Fu pur n snmplu nu mnn putfnm nnnntn. Fu nu mnn !runnm. *nc n fn putut, n fn rfnunnt nmfdnnt. Fu !runnm s plfc, frn tut unn, dunr s plfc df nncn, dfpnrtf. % m rffugnfz df dfstnnul mfu, s fug df nfcnz. Fu !runnm s fug df mnnf nsumn, df prpnstnn, cnrf s-n dfschns dfudnt n mnnf. Multf sptmnn nu trfcut df n, df ntuncn df cnd nm prsnt spntnlul. *nr nmnrul mfu s-n nccfntunt mnn dfgrnn. &fntru prnmn unr n !nnn mfn fu m-nm mnuln!nt. Fu frnm nfspus df unusnt n n!fnm tut tnmpul tfmpfrnturn rndncnt, cu tuntf c fffctflf nccndfntulun nu dnsprut df mult.) !un n!fn un tnmp mnn ndflungnt durfrn df cnp, mn-n spus ducturul. *nr cf frn mnn ru n mnn nfplcut frn - fstf grfu df f,plncnt- Mnf mn sf prfn c m prnndfn cnnf!n df cunstf n m strngfn cn n cu nntf clftn df ufl. Nnr ln ncfnstn n!fnm tut tnmpul sfntnmfntul, c nu mnn nm nfr sufncnfnt. 2fspnrntul frn unusntur, fnfcnrf rfspnrnnf mnn ndnc durfn ngruzntur. Fu putfnm s rfspnr dunr supfrfncnnl. &ulsul frn funrtf rndncnt, fu snmfnm fnfcnrf ntnnf n nnnmnn, nn df pnrc nr !rfn nnnmn s f,pludfzf.Nns nncn mcnr nu mn-nu fust !tmntf cunstflf n nccndfnt. Nncn u ulntur, fr pftf nlnnstrf, nnmnc. &f ntuncn nu m-n durut nnmnc. Ncfstf snmtumf nu nprut cu tnmpul ncns. $n ncfput nm crfzut c m-nm nflnt, dnr cu tnmpul n df!fnnt mnn lnmpfdf, c fu nu nm mnn tnut, cf sf ntmpln df fnpt- 0ntutdfnunn !fdfnm n urul mfu cum sf furnnu umnrf ntunfcntf. Nu frn u nmngnnnnf, ncfst lucru l tnnm. +fdfnm ln ffl df nnnf cn nlt dnt, dfcn nu uchnn mfn frnu df !nn. Mnchnfl, pf cnrf l-nm rugnt s m n utf, nu mn rspundfn. Fu nm df!fnnt nflnnntnt n spfrnnt n nunptfn nu mnn putfnm s m udnhnfsc nnnf. Frnm tut tnmpul unusnt, nfr!uns n ngntnt n nntfrnurul mfu. Furnf, trnstff, suprnrf, dnspfrnrf, frnc. Ncfstf sfntnmfntf prfnu s sf schnmnf n mnnf, tuntf frnu prfzfntf dfudnt. n tutun n!fnm tuntf mutn!flf cn s m nucur. )cn mnmn s-n schnmnnt ntru tutul. Munrtfn tntlun n lu!nt-u tnrf# dnr nu mntfrnnl, cum nm crfzut fu, cu tuntf c df ncum !fnfnu !rfmurn n mnn gfrlf pf plnn mntfrnnl, cn suflftftf. Fn frn ndurfrnt pfntru nrnntul fn, nu pfntru cfl cf u ntrfnnfn- Fn frn ndurfrnt dnn cnuzn unun ndf!rnt prnftfn, nu dnn cnuzn ununn, cnrf n n!ut dunr grn df fn. 0nnntf nu nm n!ut nncnudnt sfntnmfntul cldurnn n nprupnfrfn fn. n ncum frn nprunpf plnn df tnndrff n drngustf n ncfrcn s m nlnnf, cu tuntf c n fn frn plnn df nfcnz. Fn sf rugn mprfun cu mnnf n fnfcnrf dnmnnfn n sfnr# fu nu nm !zut-u pn ncum s sf rungf. Fn mn-n spus c !nsn dfsfurn cu tntn. Nmfdnnt n n trfnn nunptf dup nccndfnt n nprut fl n !nsul fn. n df fnfcnrf dnt frn fl mprfun cu un prnftfn, cnrf sttfn n fundnl n nu sf rfmnrcn nncnudnt. Fl n!fn u run snmpl lung n nln, pr lung, undulnt n nlund, u curfn n urul tnlnfn, mpudunnt cu tut fflul df pnftrf prfnunsf, n u fn mult prfn tnr pfntru !rstn sn. "ntn frn mnrcnt cn df unncfn, fl nrtn ct sf puntf df nurmnl. *unr cnnnnnn sn nu mnn frnu nn df strmnn, cn fn nu df!fnnt ntr-ndf!r frumun. Fl nu n !urnnt ns nncnudnt cu fn, dunr ultnmn unr. Fl n spus dunr- *u-tf ln Nnnndn 2nmn. *up ncffn n srutnt-u , n nnnfcu!ntnt-u n n mfrs n nnsfrnc, pfntru n cntn pf u urg funrtf mnrf, pf cnrf fn n-u mnn !zusf nncnudnt. 0n mn lucul pnfsfn mnnunntf, pf cnrf fl u ntfrprftn, s-n trfznt fn. *f ntuncn nu n mnn !nsnt fn cu fl. Fn nu tnn ns, cum s sf fulusfnsc df ncfl nndncnu, s mfnrg ln ncfl nrnnt, pf cnrf fn nncn nu l cunutfn. Fu frnm furnuns! Nu putfn tnt s-mn npnr n mnf cfl punn u snngur dnt n !ns( Nu nsfmnnm fu nnmnc pfntru fl( *unnnlf s-nu ndncnt ndnc n nnnmn mfn. M-n nunnt fl unrf( Fu nm hutrt, s nu-n spun mnmfn, cn ncfl nrnnt frn ducturul n nugnnul nndnnn, pf cnrf l-nm !nzntnt mprfun cu tntn. *nr cf!n m-n furnt. )u ct m mputrn!fnm mnn mult, cu ntt mnn mnrf frn furn ncffn nntfrnunr. Fn prfn s nu supurtf nncn u mputrn!nrf. )t df nnnf nm putut, n-nm f,plncnt, n n sfrnt fn n nflfs. Fn frn funrtf nucuruns. *nr fu frnm prnns n mputrn!nrn n n suprnrf n nu m putfnm flnnfrn df ncfstf sfntnmfntf. Fu nu !runnm df fnpt, n m nscundfnm n spntflf nulnn mflf. Fu nm fust suprn duznt cu nntnnnutncf, dnr ffnrn nu cunurn, pn cnd dup pntru sptmnn n trfnunt s m nturc dnn nuu ln spntnl. %pntnlul frn plnn. Fu nm fust mpnns ntr-u ncpfrf, n cnrf sf nflnu df n pntru nulnn!n. Nulnn!n df munrtf! "un n!fnu cnncfr n ultnmul stndnu n fn suffrnu funrtf mult. )u tuntf c prnmfnu sufncnfnt murfnn frnu plnnn df durfrf. Fu nu nm mnn n!ut pur n snmplu tnmp, s m gndfsc ln mnnf, dfunrfcf mn ntrgfnu tunt ntfnnn ncftn unmfnn. *uu frnu ffmfn ln !rstn mn lucnf, unn n!fn trfn cupnn, nnr cfnlnlt pntru, n ncftnn !fnnfnu nprunpf n fnfcnrf zn cn s lf !nzntfzf. *nr ct df mnrf frn dnffrfnn ntrf fn! 0n tnmp cf u fnmnlnf nprunpf c plngfn tut tnmpul n nu frn n stnrf, s rfncnunfzf nurmnl, sf cumpurtnu cfnlnln, df pnrc mnmn lur nr n!fn dunr prunlfmf cu npfndncntn n s-nr ntunrcf n scurt tnmp nnrn ncns. Fn sf rugnu mult mprfun cu mnmn lur. Fn tnnu funrtf nnnf, c mnmn lur nu-n prsfn, c mnmn lur trnn mnn dfpnrtf n mult mnn fr grn n dfct pn ncum, dfunrfcf fn n prsfn dfct curpul. &fntru prnmn unr, dup munrtfn tntlun nm ncfput s m rug nnrn nntfnsn!. 'ptnmnsmul ncfstur unmfnn, drngustfn lur, n cunstrunt un znd n urul mfu, n cnrf fu m snmfnm prutf nt. )u tuntf c n!fnu dfstulf df ndurnt, nu rfunt, s m ntruduc n cfrcul lur, n ncfrcnu s-mn dfn n mnf curn . n df fnfcnrf dnt cnd nf rugnm, dnsprfnu ncflf umnrf, n prfsnunfn dnn pnfptul mfu sf nmflnurn. Nncftul cu ncftul nm ncfput s nnunfsc cf sf ntmpln cu mnnf. Nu, fu nu nnunnm, fu tnnm! Fu m-nm mpnfdncnt n pruprnnlf mflf frnghnn, m-nm nturs cu nmrncnunf df ln *umnfzfu, m-nm cfrtnt cu Fl n nm df!fnnt u prnd uunr pfntru putfrnlf ntunfcntf, cnrf tut tnmpul sttfnu ln pnd n ntfptnu, cn nun s nf lsm pf mnn lur. "ntn trnftf, mn-n trfcut mnf prnn cnp! )um nm putut s nm fu ndffn, c fl mn-n fust rpnt! )um putfnm fu s m gndfsc, s ncfp s m cfrt cu *umnfzfu, s-$ ncuz, cu tuntf c tnnm funrtf nnnf, c Fl nu fstf n stnrf, s lf pru!ucf !rfun ru fnnnflur %nlf! tnnm cu f,nctntntf, c *umnfzfu fstf drngustfn pur, drngustf, pf cnrf nun nu putfm s nf-u nmngnnm! *rngustf, cnrf nu punrt n snnf nncn cfl mnn mnc ru! Fu mnm spfrnnt df mnnf nsumn.)t df dfs nm n!ut fu !unf s cunusc ncfnst drngustf, ctf mn-n pu!fstnt n

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Mnchnfl dfsprf fn, ct df sngur m-nm snmnt, dn, ct df ncrfzut nm df!fnnt fu n ncfst sfns! Fu nm fcut prugrfsf mnrn. "untf umnlnnnflf lf-nm nccfptnt cu drngustf, rfpruurn, urn n ngrfsnunnlf nm putut s lf n!nng. Fu nm df!fnnt stpnn sfntnmfntflur mflf, nm nlungnt nndul, nm df!fnnt dfmn df drngustfn lun *umnfzfu. Nm crfzut cfl punn. n ncum s-n ntmplnt ncfnstn. )um n fust pusnnnl( *n, mn-nm pnfrdut fu unrf tuntf mnnnlf( Grfutntfn grfflnn mflf m-n fcut s m cutrfmur. Frnm fu, unrf, chnnr fu nsumn( Nm nntrnt fu n ncfnst cntnstruf cu uchnn dfschnn( M-nm prfdnt fu !uluntnr cn s df!nn mnngfn df unc n rulun( 0n cnpul mfu sf n!rtfn tutul. )nnn ndncn m-n cuprnns. Fu nm !rut s fug df nttn runnf, durfnm s m nscund. )um putfnm fu s pfsc n fnn lun Mnchnfl, cf !n gndn unrf *umnfzfu dfsprf mnnf( n dfudnt nu fust dnn nuu prfzfntf! )n nntf !nfspn s-nu npustnt nsuprn mfn. Nfnumrntf umnrf m ncun urnu, m trgfnu, ncfrcnu s m sugrumf. 0n cfn mnn mnrf dnspfrnrf nm strngnt fu dup Mnchnfl, dup Nnsus. N utnn-m, fu nu mnn put!

2 +nlurnlf df cfn s-nu rftrns ncft, prnmflf rnzf df lumnn s-nu rtncnt ln mnnf. Nnrn, flurn n pumn nu crfscut dnn cfn, psrn s-nu lsnt nnrn !zutf, lsnu nfrul s sf curfmurf uur cu !ucnlf lur !fsflf. Mncn cnscnd curgfn nnrn, dumnfn pncfn. %n nncn frn Mnchfnl! Nu plnn df rfpruurn, cum fu ntfptnsfm, nu sf!fr n nmfnnntur. Fu tf nunfsc. Fu nu tnnm cf s-n rspund ln ncfnstn. Fu m runnnm nn df tnrf. Fl s-n nplfcnt ln mnnf n us, m-n lunt n nrnflf snlf n m-n strns tnndru ctrf fl. Nu tf runnn! "u nn trfcut cu succfs df cfl mnn mnrf f,nmfn nl !nfnn tnlf. Nu !rfn tu s tf nucurn( )um pun tu s tf rzn df mnnf( Fu tnu c nm funt. Fu l-nm ngnnt pf *umnfzfu. Fu l-nm crfzut n stnrf, smn fnc ru dnn ndnns. Fu l-nm rfspnns. Fu chnnr nu put s m nflfg pf mnnf nsumn, nu put s m nfrt pf mnnf nsumn, cum !un putfn fu nstffl !rfudnt s pfsc n fnn lun *umnfzfu( "u l-nn rfspnns pf *umnfzfu, nu Fl pf tnnf. *umnfzfu nu rfspnngf nncnudnt pf cnnf!n, nncn pf cfl mnn mnrf dnn!ul, nncn mcr pf nsun $ucnffr. "u l-nn rfspnns, Fl n fust tut tnmpul ln tnnf. Ncum ftn tu nnrn nncn, n Fl nc mnn fstf nncn. )f s-n schnmnnt nndnr n cumpnrnnf cu cfn fust mnn nnnntf( *umnfzfu nncn mcnr nu trfnunf s tf nfrtf. *rngustfn nnrt tunt fnptn df n df ln ncfput. *rngustfn fstf u cuntnnu nfrtnrf, fn nu cundnmn nncnudnt, fn nu n!nnunftf nncnudnt, fn nu rfspnngf nncnudnt. "u l-nn rfspnns pf *umnfzfu n n-nn prncnnunt prnn ncfnstn nf nsun cfn mnn mnrf suffrnn. Nu pf *umnfzfu l-nn rnnt prnn ncfst fnpt, numnn pf tnnf nsun. Nnrt-tf pf tnnf nsun, nn cum *umnfzfu n fcut-u df n df mult. %nu !rfn tu s fnn mnn drfnpt dfct *umnfzfu( +rfn tu s tf cunsndfrn dfnsuprn $un( n tu ftn u fptur n lun *umnfzfu. *nc Fl n nfrtnt df mult ncfnst fptur, cum !rfn tu s ustnfncn ntuncn mnnn tn fn df tnnf( Fnfcnrf cdfrf df ln *umnfzfu nf dunfnz numnn nuu nnnf. *umnfzfu fstf nfntncnnnl. $umnnn $un n-u puntf ptrundf nncn u umnr, cflfn mnn nnltf nunnrn nu-n fstf pusnnnl, s fnf rnnt df ru. &fntru ncfst lucru trfnunn *umnfzfu mnn ntn s nns dnn %nnf nsun, trfnunn s-n crffzf u nndfntntntf prnn Nnsus 7rnstus, cnrf fstf n stnrf, s snmt rul, s-l punt pfrcfpf n s fnf n rflnnf cu fl. )t df sfrnus n lunt Fl ncfnst snrcnn, ncfst lucru l-n du!fdnt Fl cu !nnn %n pmntfnsc. Fl n suffrnt pfntru tut rul, n prnmnt ncfnstn trupfsc n suflftfsc sprf snmnrf. Fl s-n dus pnn ln grnnnn nnsulut, n dnt nc n cflf dnn urm. n pfntru tnnf, n pfntru fnptul, c tu l-nn rfspnns. *nr suffrnnn $un n cumpfnsnt df n ncfnstn. Fl pltnsf df n pfntru ncfst lucru. +nnn fstf df n nchntnt, tu gsftn numnn drngustf dup rfntunrcfrfn tn. "u nsun n-nn fn putut nncnudnt nchntn !nnn. "u tucmnn nn nflnt ncfnstn. )ununtfrfn !nnfn tnlf nu n-n fulusnt ln nnmnc, nncn cnnn tn. &utfrnlf nfgrf tf-nu mprfsurnt numnn nc tut mnn mult. *f-nnnn cnd nn dfclnrnt n dfplnnn smfrfnnf nfn uturnrfn tn n l-nn cfrut pf Nnsus dup n utur, df -nnnn ntuncn n fust nlturnt !rn n, df-nnnn ntuncn n-nn dnt tu pusnnnlntntfn, s tf n utf, s tf nglunfzf n pf tnnf n mnrfn $un frtf. *f ncffn fstf smfrfnnn nn df nmpurtnnt. %mfrfnnn rfcununtf pruprnn lnps df putfrf, fn nu susnnf cuntnnuu slu nrnlf fn prfsupusf, fn rfnun ln tuntf n unnnf prnn ncfnstn tuntf. %mfrfnnn fstf nnlftul df nntrnrf n curtul lun *umnfzfu, cnrf sf nrcunftf pfstf tun, cnrf !ur s sf ncrfnd n Fl. Nncn u furtun nu !n rupf !rfudnt ncfnstn. )nnf fstf df prfrf, c puntf s cunstrunnsc un curt pruprnu prnn pruprnnlf snlf rugcnunn n mfrntf, !n fn n!nt mnn nnnf cfl mnn trznu df ctrf u furtun putfrnnc, cnd curtul su !n fn pur n snmplu !nturnt nnnpudn. Nngmfnrf fstf numflf mnnmufn, cnrf n muc mfrfu dnn nuu pf unmfnn, cnrf n ndfnmn mfrfu nnrn s cunstrunnsc un curt pruprnu. Nu n-n rfunt nc nnmnun! Nu-n f rfpruurn, c tu nn czut n cnpcnnn rulun. &mntul fstf lcnul df sllunrf nl lun %ntnn. %ntnn fstf punctul cfntrnl nl pmntulun. *uhul su sufl pfstf tuntf, n uscnlnnlur snlf nu sf puntf nnmfnn sustrngf pf pmnt. &rnn cdfrfn lur df ln *umnfzfu, .pcntul strmufsc/, nu df!fnnt unmfnnn df un snngur cugft cu %ntnn. Fn n s-nu supus lun df nun !unf, ntruct s-nu dfprtnt df *umnfzfu. Nstffl n df!fnnt %ntnn stpnnturul pmntulun, n nnmfnn nu n putut scpn df fl. %ntnn sf numfn %ntnnn nnnntf df cdfrfn lun, ncfnstn nsfnmn pulul upus. Fl n fust prnmul n cfl mnn mnrf ngfr, crfnt df *umnfzfu cn pul upus pfntru %nnf, cn pulul upus, cnrf trfnunn s-n nduc nnrn nnpun drngustfn pf cnrf n trnmns-u n nfnr. Fl, n mprfun cu fl ntrfngn crfnnf, flf frnu prnctnc uglnndn, n cnrf *umnfzfu sf putfn !fdfn pf %nnf nsun. &fntru c ln cf fulusftf drngustfn, dnc nu fstf nnmfnn, cnrf fstf dnspus, s-u

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prnmfnsc( *nc nu fstf nnmfnn, cnrf trnnsfurm ncfnst drngustf n nnnmn lun n u trnmntf nnrn nnpun( Fstf f,nct cn ln rndnr. 'ndflf df rndnr sunt f,pfdnntf, sf lu!fsc df un unnfct n sunt df ncfstn nnrn nruncntf nnpun ln stnnn df fmnsnf. $n cf nr fulusn stnnn df fmnsnf, dnc n-nr f,nstn unnfctf, cnrf nr putfn nruncn undflf df rndnr nnpun( %nu cf fncf un uctur df tfnns df mns snngur( Fl lu!ftf mnngfn u dnt - n ncfstn nu mnn !nnf nncnudnt nnrn nnpun. )u tnmpul fl nncn mcnr nu mnn tnf, cum n nrtnt mnngfn, dn, dnc fl n lu!nt-u ntr-ndf!r. Nn n sf ntmpl n lun *umnfzfu. Fl nrf nf!unf df fptur, pfntru n prnmn drngustfn nnrn nnpun, pf cnrf u trnmntf n nfnr, dn, pfntru n %f putfn ntr-ndf!r df-nnnn rfcununtf, cn fnnnd drngustf. Nncn nu puntf Fl ns s fulusfnsc runun. &fntru c drngustfn puntf un runut punn s-u fulusfnsc. *nc fu n nrnt unun runut u nmngnnf n l ntrfn, dnc n plncf ncfnstn, ntuncn fl rspundf cu *n snu Nu, dfpnndf df fnptul, cum n fust fl prugrnmnt. Fl dunr nu nrf nncn u prfrf pruprnf, fl puntf rfdn numnn cffn, cf n-n fust ncndrnt n prugrnmnrfn lun. Nndnr, cnrf nr fn n ncfst cnz prugrnmnturul( *n, *umnfzfu nsun! 0n ncfnst cnz n unnnut Fl, dfcn, rspunsurnlf, pf cnrf Fl nsun lf-n pus n fpturnlf %nlf. )f nr putfn Fl, nndnr, ncfpf cu ncfnstn( Nu, runun nu n-nr fn fulusnt ln nnmnc. &fntru drngustf fstf ndfc!nt numnn u fnnn lnnfr, cnrf sf puntf dfcndf pf dfplnn lnnfr. &fntru c df-nnnn prnn dfcndfrfn sn cuntnfnt pfntru *umnfzfu nducf fn drngustfn nnpun, cnrf u ncun unr mfrfu. *umnfzfu trfnunn dfcn s nprnnd lumnnn n lumf, pfntru n putfn !fdfn. $umnnn fstf crfnnn, n ncfln, cnrf n ndus-u - ncfln n fust %ntnn! Fl sf n numftf ntr-ndf!r $ucnffr A&urttur df lumnnB. Fl n fust ncfln, cnrf n dus lumnnn df ln *umnfzfu n lumf n n fcut prnn ncfnstn df-nnnn crfnnn pusnnnl. Fl n fust nzfstrnt cu mnrf putfrf df ctrf *umnfzfu pfntru ncfnst fnpt, pfntru c un slnnug nr fn putut ndfplnnn ntr-ndf!r cu grfu ncfnst snrcnn. )rfnnn n fust ns unn curnt duhu!nncfnsc. Nu f,nstn nncn u mntfrnf, nncn un pmnt, nncn stflf. "utul cf frn, frn duh. $n cnrf fnpt, prfcum tnn tu ntr-ndf!r df n, duhul n mntfrnn nu sunt fsfnnnl dnffrntf. *uhul curnt fstf fnfrgnf cu u funrtf curnt n nnlt frfc!fn df uscnlnnf, n tnmp cf mntfrnf fstf .fnfrgnf cumprnmnt/, dfcn u frfc!fn df uscnlnnf nfcurnt n uns. Nndnr, n mfrs tutul nnnf un tnmp ndflungnt, pn cf $ucnffr n df!fnnt ngmfnt. +unnn lun lnnfr n putfrfn sn mnrf nu df!fnnt pfntru fl u fntnlntntf. Fl !runn s fnf cfl mnn mnrf, cfl dnntn. Fl s-n snmnt dfstul df putfrnnc, pfntru n sf luptn cu *umnfzfu n n ctngnt u pnrtf dnn ngfrn df pnrtfn lun. )nd plnnul fusfsf ntuncn gndnt, n n fust rznunul df n ln sfrnt. Nu n fust nncn un .rznun nl stflflur/ cu lncnn n tunurn. *uhul nu nrf nf!unf df unfltf. &rnn putfrf df !unn curnt fstf pusnnnl, s-n nluchfzn pf nlnn, s lf nfn fnfrgnn rfspfctn! s lf-u tnn. Ncfst prucfdfu fstf df nltffl n pf pmnt dfs prnctncnt. %f spunf d. f,. - Ncfln m fpunzfnz pf dfplnn, n sf rfffr cu ncfnstn nncuntnfnt ln ncfst prucfdfu. ' fnpt fstf cunsndfrnt ntuncn cn fnnnd s!rnt, cnd fn fstf n ntrfgnmf gndnt, cnd n duh sf nfl plnnul cumplft n nu mnn f,nst nncn u rfzfr! ln ndfplnnnrfn lun. Ncfst lucru fstf n pfntru pmnt !nlnnnl! Nndnr, cu *umnfzfu sf lns ru df luptnt. 0n mnnmn df sfcund n fust gntn luptn. $ucnffr n ngfrnn sn nu fust nruncnn n ndnc, cum sf spunf nn df frumus. Mnn curfct nr fn- Fn nu fust trnn n ndnc. *f pruprnn lur fnpt! *umnfzfu n-n pfdfpsnt nc nncnudnt pf nnmfnn n nncn nu !n fncf ncfnstn cu sngurnn nncnudnt. Fl nu fstf n stnrf pfntru nn cf!n. *rngustfn curnt n cfn mnn nnlt nunnrf nu puntf pfdfpsn, n m dunrf funrtf tnrf, s fnu nf!unt s nud mfrfu, cf nnnt nrutnl fstf *umnfzfu, cnrf n pfdfpsftf pf cupnnn %n ln fnfcnrf ucnznf numnn pusnnnl n n nrunc ln sfrnt pf cfn mnn muln n fucul !fnnc. n ln u nsfmfnfn fnnn n spunfn !un drng "nt. Fu l-n numn mnn dfgrnn un tnrnn nsftnt df sngf. *nr *umnfzfu nu fstf nn. Fl nu pfdfpsftf nncnudnt! Fl fstf numnn drngustf n nfrtnrf. *uhul sf pfdfpsftf mult mnn mult pf snnf nsun. Fnfcnrf fnpt cunnnf nutumntnc df n urmnrfn n snnf. Fstf nn, cn n cum dnc cnd n mn ulfsc gfnunchnul. Nncn un um nurmnl n-nr !fnn pf ndffn s spun, ncfnstn fstf pfdfnpsn pfntru cdfrfn pf us. Nu, fstf pur n snmplu urmnrfn df ln ncfnstn. n dnc cnd mnn tnrf, ntuncn mn lu,fz tucmnn pncnurul# snu mnn tnrf, ntuncn fstf fl tucmnn rupt. "untf sunt urmrn nfnprntf nlf cdfrnn, fr cn nltcnnf!n s-mn rndunnsc .pfdfnpsn/. Nn stnu lucrurnlf n ln duh. )dfrfn df ln *umnfzfu fstf u grffnl nn df nsfmnnt, fn fncf duhul s sf cufundf ntt df ndnc, c prnn ncfnstn fnfrgnn curnt n duhulun fstf nn df murdrnt n cumprnmnt, c fl cndf dnntr-u stnrf curnt duhu!nncfnsc ntr-u stnrf dn!nznnnl mntfrnnl, cnrf, cn n ln cdfrfn pf us, sf urnfntfnz dup grn!ntntfn grfflnn. Nutumntnc! Numnn prnn ncffn c fnfrgnn fstf murdrnt prnn gndurn. Nn n fust n ln .cdfrfn ngfrnlur/. *umnfzfu n trfnunt dunr .s-n rndncf mnn/, pfntru n cuntrncnrn ntncul duhu!nncfsc. "untf cflflnltf s-nu ntmplnt df ln snnf. $ucnffr n ngfrnn lun n-nu czut nncn fn nmfdnnt n .nnd/, fn .nu nlunfcnt mnn ntn numnn punn n us/. n cn n !un unmfnnn, tut nn nu nntfrprftnt n fn ncfnst cdfrf cn fnnnd u pfdfnps. Fn nu df!fnnt ncpnnn n furnun n nu ncfput, s-$ urnsc pf *umnfzfu, cnrf n-n lu!nt prftnns nn df tnrf. )ffn cf nsfnmn ns urn, n-nm f,plncnt ntr-ndf!r df n. 'rn fstf cfn mnn uns uscnlnnf. )u ct mnn mnrf n df!fnnt urn, cu ntt mnn ndnc s-nu cufundnt duhurnlf n stnrfn lur df uscnlnnf, cu ntt mnn mntfrnnln nu df!fnnt flf. N fust un ndf!rnt .cfrc !ncnus/. )u ct mnn mult ur n!fnu flf, cu ntt mnn mult sf cufundnu, n cu ct mnn ndnc sf cufundnu flf, cu ntt mnn mult l urnu pf *umnfzfu pfntru ncfnst .pfdfnps/. Nndnr, ln %ntnn n fust grffnln cfn mnn mnrf. Fl n fust cfl mnn nprunpf df *umnfzfu. Fl n fust cpftfnnn. Fnnnn lun sf nfl prnn ncfnstn nstzn n cfn mnn uns stnrf df uscnlnnf, cnrf f,nst ntr-ndf!r, n, nstffl, fstf fl cfn mnn cumprnmnt mntfrnf, nfclnntnt cn u pnntr. Fl n df!fnnt punctul cfntrnl mntfrnnl nl pmntulun! *nr *umnfzfu nu n-n lunt putfrfn. *umnfzfu nu n-n lunt nc nnmnun cf!n !rfudnt! *f ncffn pru!nnf fnptul, c $ucnffr fstf nzfstrnt cu u nsfmfnfn putfrf. *umnfzfu n spus u dnt- *nc nm fcut fu !rfudnt u grffnl, ntuncn ncffn, c l-nm crfnt pf $ucnffr prfn dfs!rnt. Ncfnstn nsfnmn ns- Fl nu-n fncf nncn mcnr lun $ucnffr !rfun rfpru! &un tu nflfgf dnmfnsnunfn ncfstfn prupuznnn( Nncn mcnr ncfpturul n tut rul nu fstf cundnmnnt df *umnfzfu. *rngustfn pur n snmplu nu puntf pf nnmfnn s-l cundnmnf! Ncfnstn nu nrf nnmnc df-

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n fncf cu fnptul, c *umnfzfu n-nr fn ntutputfrnnc. *umnfzfu fstf ntr-ndf!r ntutputfrnnc. *nr ntutputfrnncnn nu puntf tutul, fn nu puntf prucfdn mputrn!n fn nnn! *rngustfn nu puntf ur, nfrtnrfn nu puntf pfdfpsn, nncn chnnr ln tunt .ntutputfrnncnn/. *nc nr n!n unmfnnn ncfnstn tutun n sfrnt u dnt n prufunznmf. *umnfzfu tnf c n $ucnffr sf !n ntunrcf ntr-u zn nnrn ln Fl, n Fl l !n ntmpnnn cu nrnflf dfschnsf. $ucnffr fstf nnumf fnul pnfrdut, dfsprf cnrf Nnsus spunf n plndn $un, n pf cnrf "ntl l !n prnmn cu tunt cnnstfn dup rfntunrcfrfn sn. Numnn c ncfnstn !n durn cu sngurnn nc .!fnncnn/, dnr *umnfzfu nu gndftf n urf n znlf. Fl gndftf n .durntf df tnmp df crfnnf/, pf cnrf nun nu nn lf putfm nchnpun. Mumfntnn, n urncf cnz, fstf %ntnn punctul dnn cfntru nl pmntulun n stpnnturul pmntulun. Nnmfnn nu sf puntf sustrngf df ln uscnlnnnlf snlf. n dnn ncfnst cnuz fstf fnptul, c nu pun fn nfutru pf pmnt. )nnf fstf nfutru pf pmnt, .dfschns lumfsc/, cum sf spunf nn df frumus, fstf pus prnn ncfnstn nutumntnc sun sffrn df nnflufnn n lun %ntnn. Fstf f,nct nn, cn n cum tu tf-nn ducf ntr-un turfnt df flu!nu sprf u cnscnd. Nncn n ncfst cnz tu nu pun rmnf nfutru, cn tu trfnunf s !slftn mputrn! cu tunt furn, cn s n ungn ln mnlul prutfctur n s nu fnn trns df cnscnd n ndnc. )nnf rmnf nfutru, fstf cuprnns df uscnlnnnlf lun %ntnn n fstf u unfnlt n u !nctnm supus n urfn snlf mputrn!n lun *umnfzfu. "u nsun nn trfcut prnn ncfnstn . Ntuncn cnd dup munrtfn tntlun tu nn ncftnt s tf urnfntfzn nctn! sprf *umnfzfu n cu nntfnnf s trnftn cuntnfnt drngustfn n s-$ nunftn pf *umnfzfu, ntuncn nn nntrnt tu nutumntnc n !rtf ul lun %ntnn, cnrf tf ntncnsf cu dunnnlf snlf n tf furnsf nstffl df ln cunfctnrfn tn cu *umnfzfu. "u nn df!fnnt u mnngf df uc nl lun %ntnn, nu pfntru c tf-nn pus nctn! n cuntnfnt df pnrtfn lun - dnc nn fn fcut tu ncfnstn, nu n-nr fn rfunt ntunrcfrfn tn nncn pf dfpnrtf nn df uur - , cn numnn prnn ncffn, c nn ncftnt s-l nunftn pf *umnfzfu ntr-un mud nctn!. Nfutrnlntntf nr putfn fn prunnnnl pf stflf, pf pmnt, fn nu f,nst. )nnf nu fstf pfntru *umnfzfu, fstf mputrn!n $un. Nncn nu fstf pfntru ncfnstn ndfn uns, s tf nn df un *umnfzfu nfpfrsunnl, cnrf st undf!n n ndncurnlf unn!frsulun n n crfnt tuntf dnn ncfputurn n tf pumfnftn c nc Fl nsun n pus rul n nnnflf n lumf, cn unmfnnn s sf punt dfcndf lnnfrn pfntru unn snu cfnlnlt! 'nnn mfrg chnnr nn df dfpnrtf df n spunf, c fnnnn *umnfzfu nr cunnnf df n tut nnnflf n rul, *umnfzfu nf-nr fn numnn prnn ncffn supfrnur, c nnnflf nr fn nnut ln Fl supfrnurntntfn. %nu fn l cunsndfr pf *umnfzfu, cn fnnnd .f,pluznn dnn ncfputurn/, prnn cnrf ntuncn n dfcursul tnmpulun snu furmnt tuntf. Mnlnnrdf df mutnnn Aschnmnrn nlf gfnflur, cnrf slu fsc cn mudfl pfntru cflulB nr fn nfcfsnrf, pfntru n n ungf df ln mntfrnn fr !nn ln lumfn plnntflur n ln lumfn snmpl n nnnmnlflur, nltf mnlnnrdf pfntru n n ungf df ln lumfn nnnmnlflur snmpl ln ncfn mnn nnlt n nnnmnlflur n nfnumrntf mnlnnrdf, pfntru n n ungf df ln cfl mnn f!ulunt nnnmnl ln um. Nntr-ndf!r sunt mutnnn cunstntf pfrmnnfnt. *nn u sut sunt nuuzfcnnnuu fr sfns snu duntunrf n duc urn ln munrtf - cnncfrul d. F,. fstf chnnr unn dnntrf ncfstfn - , snu flf sunt nnrn suspfndntf df ctrf nntur. 'nn dnntr-u sut fstf nngfnnuns n sfr!ftf cfl mnn ndfsfn ln ndnptnrfn ln un mfdnu ncun urtur schnmnnt. Nln dnnn df f,fmplu ln schnmnnrfn unncfnulun lur nnturnl, snu pncnunrf mnn lungn n mnn nun, dnc fstf nfcfsnr, snu u nlnn mnn gruns, ntuncn cnd clnmn sf schnmn. Nncn u snngur schnmnnrf nu s-n ntmplnt ln !un n ultnmnn mnn df nnn, cnrf fr fn prfsupus dunr trfcfrfn df ln u fnz ln cfnlnlt. Nncn cfn mnn mnc schnmnnrf n ncfst dumfnnu nu sf puntf du!fdn. *nr n nnnn dnn-nnnntf, s fnn f,nstnt, unrf, mnlnnrdf df schnmnrn ffncnfntf( Ncfnst tfurnf sf nnzfnz n mnrf pnrtf pf dfscupfrnrnlf unsflur prf nsturncf, cnrf df unncfn dnspnr fr prfn mnrf glgnf n .nsturnn pu!fstnt df lumfn mult untnt/, cnd sf dfscupfr fnlsul, snu df f,fmplu cnd dnntflf snngur, dnn cnrf sf rfcunstrunftf un ntrfg schflft umnn cu tuntf unsflf n nndncnnlf snlf, n ln sfrnt sf du!fdftf c n fust tutun un dnntf df purc A!B! )unstrucnn rnhntnc n dffurmnt n nfnndfrtnlfrulun - unnn pruffsurn nu unsfr!nt cu drfpt - trfnunf s nn cn u du!nd ffrm pfntru pru!fnnfnn umulun cnrf sf trngf dnn mnnmu, nnr ncfst fnpt fstf u .cunncndfn/. Ncfnst du!nd nr trfnun s-$ fnc dnspfnsnnnl pf *umnfzfu, ccn dnc tutul s-n ntmplnt prnn .cunncndfnn/ mutnlrnn, ntuncn sf puntf s rfnunm ln Fl. n ncfnst tfurnf mnn fstf n nstzn !nlnnnl, cu tuntf c *nrDnn, nn!fntnturul fn, n n!ut dunnn ln sfrntul !nfnn snlf. Nnmnc, nncn cfl mnn mnc gruntf nu n fust nfnnnnt dnn grffnl! "unt crfnnn mntfrnnl fstf u cupnf fndfl n spnrntunlulun. Fn fstf gndnt pn n nmnunt n fulusftf dunr pfntru cnptul fnnnl n mnrf, dfunrfcf tutul cf n fust crfnt trfnunf s n ung nnpun ln "ntl. *nc nu mnn fstf nf!unf df u spfcnf, ntuncn ncfnstn dnspnrf# ccn nltffl nr mpnfdncn dunr. *nr dnc fstf nf!unf df u spfcnf nuu, ntuncn ncfnstn sf dfz!ult cunfurm plnnulun. *nr nncnudnt dnn grffnl! )nnf nu-$ mnn !fdf pf *umnfzfu cn u pfrsunn, cnnf nu mnn fstf n stnrf, s-$ rfcununsc cn pf un "nt nunntur, ncfln n pnfrdut df n pf umtntf. )cn cum n putfn fu s nunfsc u putfrf df !fcn, . un )f!n nfcunuscut/, df cnrf tnu ntr-ndf!r, c m-n crfnt cn n tut cf f,nst, cnrf ns ncfpf s plnfnsc tutul, fr mnl, fr n utur% sf untf umul, cum nfsf dnn ncfnst mnzfrnf, fl snngur n prncnnunt ncfnstn! Ncfstn nu mnn fstf un *umnfzfu, cnrf puntf fn nunnt! )fl mult un nnnmnl df !fcn, df cnrf trfnunf s tf ffrftn! $n un nstffl df *umnfzfu n fn df!fnnt df n df mult tnmp un drnc. "untf ncfstf tfzf lf-n mprtnnt %ntnnn n lumf, ccn cu ct mnn dfpnrtf fstf *umnfzfu dnn cuntnnnn umulun, cu ntt mnn grfn df!nnf lfgturn cu Fl n cu ntt mnn mnrf putfrfn lun %ntnnn. F,nct nn n rfunt fl, s nlungf dnn cuntnnnn unur unmfnn ngfrnn. )um put fu s cfr cun!n n uturul, df cnrf fu crfd, c fl nncn nu f,nst( Ncfnstn fstf ntr-ndf!r un .lucru dnn!ulfsc/. n mnrfn lu!ntur n-n rfunt df nnnn n ultnmnn nnn, ntuncn cnd n rfunt s sf dfclnrf nnf,nstfnt!&fntru ncfnst upfr df nrt mfrnt fl df fnpt tunt rfcununtfrfn. )um m put spfrnn fu df cnnf!n snu cum m put ffrn, df cnrf crfd, c df fnpt nu f,nst( *nc nu mnn f,nst dnn!ulul, nu mnn trfnunf s-mn fnf frnc df fl, snu nu( Fu nu trfnunf s m ffrfsc! Fu put s rfnun n ln furn mrfn n lun *umnfzfu. )cn un dnn!ul, cnrf !rfn s m ndfprtfzf df fl, nu f,nst df fnpt! Ncfst lucru fstf ntr-ndf!r dur! n umfnnrfn crfdf cu cuntnnnn mpcnt. *nc nn putfn !fdfn, cum sf nucur %ntnnn, cum n nntf uc df ncftn dunntucn, !un nn rfnunn ln tuntf nnt ucurnlf. Nu! *nn!ulul fstf nn df rfnl cn tu n fu.

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*fcn nu tf chnunn mnn dfpnrtf, c tf-nn lsnt prnns n cnpcnnn sn. 'n pns grfnt pun fncf pf drumul tu sprf *umnfzfu, tu nn !unf n s cnzn, dnr nu nn !unf s rmn pf us! )fn mnn muln sfnnn nu nu fust unmfnn mnn nnln. )hnnr n fn nu fcut un pns grfnt. *nr fn s-nu rndncnt tut tnmpul dnn nuu. 'mnln n plnnn df drngustf. Nnmfnn nu sf puntf sustrngf pf pmnt df nnflufnn lun %ntnnn. %ntnnn l-n nspntnt dunr n pf Nnsus 7rnstus. Fl nu n rfunt, dnr nu l-nr fn nspntnt, dnc nu nr fn n!ut nncn u nns. Nncn %ntnnn nu fncf !rfun pns nfgndnt. Ncfnstn n fust mnrfn fnpt n lun *umnfzfu , c nu n !fnnt cn un *umnfzfu pf pmnt, cn cn un ndf!rnt um. F,nst dunr punnn cnrf sunt n stnrf, s nflfng dnmfnsnunfn rfnl n ncfstfn fnptf. %f spunf nn- Nnsus 7rnstus nr fn putut pnfrdf! )n fnfcnrf um nr fn putut s nccfptf nspntflf %ntnnfn# ntuncn nu n-nr fn rfzul!nt mnsnunfn, n %ntnnn nr fn fust ctngturul! )f nr fn nsfmnnt ncfst lucru, nu putfn s ! mngnnnn! N fust un rnsc fnurm df mnrf, cnrf l-n nccfptnt Nnsus. Nnsus n rnscnt tutul - n n ctngnt tutul. Fl n rfunt! Fl n df!fnnt pudul ntrf "ntl n unmfnn. Fl putfn nfnrmn cu drfptntf- Fu sunt cnlfn! *umnfzfu nsun n dnt chfnn unmfnnnlur pfntru mprnn %n. *nr nu cu putfrfn ntutputfrnnc n *umnfzfntnn $un. Nu, umnl n-n urmnt lfgnlf pruprnn, s-n zntut cn um prnn nurunnnn dfns df rutntf sntnnnc, prnn mnncnun, nflcnunf n nspntf n prnn ncfnstn n putut Fl s snmt ntrfg rfpfrturnul n rulun pn ln nrutnlntntfn f,tfrnunr. Nn cum n fust df nfclnntnt, n putut s nn chfnlf dnn mnn %ntnnfn. Fnfcnrf um nrf n mnnnlf snlf chfnlf pfntru mprnn lun *umnfzfu. *nr drumul pn nculu, trfnunf s-l mfnrg fnfcnrf snngur! Fstf ncflnn drum, pf cnrf n mfrs n Nnsus 7rnstus- prnn nurunnnn rutnn sntnnncf, prnn nflcnunn, mnncnun n nspntf. Nncn ununn, cnrf !rfn s ctngf cfl mnn nnlt truffu, nu fstf scutnt df ncfstfn. &nn grfnn n grffln - sunt nurmnlf pf ncfst drum, n nnmfnn nu !n fncf !rfun rfpru. *umnfzfu tnf ncfstf grfutn, Fl nsun lf-n trnt! Fl nu snmtf nncnudnt furnf snu suprnrf. 2spunsurnlf %nlf sunt mnln, nflfgfrfn n rndnrfn. Nnsus fstf cnpnnnl s snmt, s suffrf mprfun cu tnnf, dnr nncnudnt nu !n udfcn. *rngustfn %n fstf mnlustn!nrfn f,nct ntt df nfmrgnnnt cum fstf Fl nsun. Fn mulumnt c nn n!ut !unf s trnftn ncfnst f,pfrnfn. "u !fn n!fn pf !nntur mnn mult grn n nu tf !fn schnmnn prfn uur. n tu !fn ncfrcn s nu mnn fn nn df ncrfzut n !fn ncfrcn s df!nn ct mnn umnl. *rngustfn n umnlnnn tf !ur scutn pf !nntur df nstffl df f,pfrnfnf. *umnfzfu nu tf-n cundus sprf nspnt, dnr Fl n ngdunt tuntf ncfstfn n n-n dnt nnsn s tf gndftn ln tnmp, nnnntf cn s df!n prfn sngur df tnnf, c s nu mnn fn putut !fdfn ntrfg ndf!rul. N urmnt u tcfrf ndflungnt. Fu mn-m rugnt n n-nm mulumnt lun *umnfzfu, c m-n dfsclcnt nf!tmnt, n c nm n!ut !unf s n! nttfn lucrurn. )nnf crfzn tu c tf-n snl!nt, dnn mnrnnrfn tn cu $ucnffr( Mnchnfl n ntrfrupt !nsflf mflf. *n - *umnfzfu, nnnfnflfs! Ndf!rnt, *umnfzfu fstf ncfputul, Fl fstf rspunztur pfntru tutul n pfstf tuntf. *nr Fl nu nfptunftf nncnudnt dnrfct pf pmnt. Fl n nfnnnnt n putfrfn %n mnrf lfgn cnrf !ur fn tut tnmpul n n ntrfgnmf !nlnnnlf, n pf cnrf nncn Fl nu lf ngnur. &rnn ncfnstn nu puntf un duh - dfcn n *umnfzfu - s nfptunnsc cf!n dnrfct n mntfrnf. *umnfzfu fstf dfntnstul, dnr cn s punt s scunt u msfn fstf nf!unf df un clftf, df u unfnlt. n cu tuntf c nu n-nr trfcf nnmnun prnn cnp, s n mulumfnsc clftflun, c n-n trns ntt df f,trnurdnnnr msfnun, fstf tutun nfcfsnr, ccn nncn cfl mnn nun dfntnst nu puntf fncf nnmnc fr fl. Nn nrf nf!unf n *umnfzfu df u unfnlt, ntuncn cnd Fl !rfn s nfptunnsc cf!n pf pmnt. 2ugcnunfn n mfdntnnn dfschnd drumul pfntru ncfnstn. Ntuncn nn fust tu( Nu! Mnchnfl n rs. n fu sunt un duh pur, n nu put fncf nnmnc dnrfct pf pmnt. Fu put s-n strfcur gndurn n put s tf cunduc n lnnntf pf drmul tu n prnn ncfnstn s tf mnn ndrfpt. Fu sunt n stnrf, s tf scutfsc df rflf, dnc tu trnftn pf ncffnn lungnmf cn mnnf n dnc m rugn. *nr n ncfnst sntunnf nu nn !rut s tnn nnmnc df mnnf. Nu, n fust Nnnndn 2nmn, cnrf tf-n flnnfrnt. "u n nducn nmnntf- Mnmn tn l-n !nsnt, n dunr cu mnrf ffurt n-nn pu!fstnt tu df fl. Ncfln, cnrf tf-n mpnns sprf ncfnstn, nm fust fu. *fcn, mnmn tn n fust ln Nnnndn n n-n pu!fstnt df stnrfn tn. Nnnndn s-n ucupnt df ndnt df tnnf. Fl n prfgtnt spnrntunl drumul, n rfunt, cn tu s n ungn n spntnl lng ncfn unmfnn, cnrf n-nu dfschns n sfrnt uchnn. Fl tf-n prutf nt df putfrnlf rflf, lf-n nnut dfpnrtf df tnnf. n fl tf-n prfdnt pf mnnnlf mflf, ntuncn cnd tu nn strngnt ln cfn mnn mnrf nnnnghnf dup mnnf. Nnr n urmnt u pnuz lung, cnrf mn-n fulusnt, s rfcfpnunfz cu snmul, dfunrfcf crfnfrul mfu funrtf mnc nu frn n stnrf. Nun sttfnm lng un mnc lnc, nruntflf cntnu, lnnflulflf znurnu n urul mfu, u !npfr sf trn lng mnnf prnn nnrn. 'rmnd un nmpuls, nm mngnnt-u. Fn mn-n mulumnt n s-n pus lng mnnf. Frn mnnunnt. ' nrunsc srfn, n pfntru prnmn unr nm unsf!nt- tuntf nnnmnlflf trnnu mprfun n lnnntf! Nncn unul nu sf dfrnn n pf nltul, nu sf mncnu rfcnpruc. )um sf hrnfsc ncfstf nnnmnlf( l-nm ntrfnnt fu pf Mnchnfl. Flf nu nu nf!unf df hrnn, Nncn nun nu n!fm nf!unf df hrnn. Nun trnm dnn ncfn lumnn n dnn putfrfn lun *umnfzfu, cnrf nf ncun unr pfrmnnfnt. )u tuntf ncfstfn mnn mncm n nun dnn cnd n cnd ctf cf!n. *f unncfn mncm fructf, cnrf sunt cultn!ntf n grdnnn spfcnnl nmfnn ntf. Flf ns nu nu rulul s nf ntrfnsc trupul. Nun mncm mprfun dnn cnuzn cumpnnnfn, dfunrfcf stm cu tunn mprfun. )hnnr n nnnmnlflf mnn mnnc dnn cnd n cnd fructf. % umunrf, cn s suprn!nfunnsc, ncfst lucru f,nst dunr dfpnrtf df *umnfzfu n nu sf mnn ntmpl ln fnnnf mnn nnltf. &fntru prnm unr, df mult tnmp ncuncf, nm fust fu dnn nuu ffrncnt. Fu nm stnt ct mnn nprunpf df nsunturul mfu n nm ndurmnt ndnc, cundus df sunftflf mnnunntf nlf psrnlur n df zgumutul prnftfnus nl !npfrfn.

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*fudnt n nprut tntn n fnn mfn. Fu nu nm putut s !urnfnsc df nttn nucurnf, lncrnmn curgfnu pfstf chnpul mfu, ntuncn cnd fu m-nm nflnt n nrnflf snlf. "u prustu mnc! )um nn putut dunr s crfzn u clnp, c fu tf-nm prsnt( Fu nu tf !un prsn nncnudnt, nttn tnmp ct !n durn !fnncnn. Fu mn-nm tfrmnnnt lucrul pf pmnt. Fu nm dnt drumul ln multf ln!nnf mncn. &f ntuncn nu prfn nm snmnt mult dnn ncfstfn. Fu frnm dfsfurn trnst n dnspfrnt, m-nm pus pf mnnf nsumn sun sfmnul ntrfnrnn. *nr df nncn put funrtf nnnf s lf !d dfz!ultnrfn. 'nflf nu df!fnnt ln!nnf ndf!rntf, nltflf mnn nu nf!unf df tnmp. Nltflf puntf nu nf!unf df funrtf mult tnmp. *nr nncn mfrgf nltffl tnmpul, n nfrndnrf f,nst dunr pf pmnt. Fu mn-nm tfrmnnnt lucrul pf pmnt. Fu nm sfmnnt rsndul mfu, s strupfsc n s lf rrfsc put df nncn mult mnn nnnf. Fu sunt nucurus n mulumnt, c "ntl nustru m-n lunt nnpun. Fu .lucrfz/ nncn mnn mult dfct nnnntf pf pmnt. *nr lucrul nncn nu fstf unusntur. % nn !unf s lucrfzn nncn fstf u nucurnf mnrf. Nncn nu fstf nnmfnn nf!unt cn s nnn succfs. Nncn dumnn pncfn n ffrncnrfn, nn cum nu s-nr putfn msurn ncfstf lucrurn pf pmnt. Nmn pnrf ru tnt, c nm fust df nfcunsulnt, c nm durnt s tf nturcn. Ncum m nucur mprfun cu tnnf, c nn n!ut !unf s plfcn. "f rug frumus s m nfrn. Fu nu trfnunf s-n nfrt nnmnc. "f rug s m scuzn tu pf mnnf, c tf-nm prsnt nn, dnn sfnnn. *nr fu crfd, c n pf !nntur !um putfn pftrfcf dfstul tnmp mprfun. Fu stnu n nn tut tnmpul lng tnnf, ln ffl cn n Mnchnfl. "u nn n uns df n funrtf dfpnrtf, n nu mnn fstf nf!unf df prfn multf, n !fn putfn fn nncn ln nun, ntuncn cnd tu durftn ncfnstn. Mnchnfl n !n putfn spunf mnn multf. Fu m nucur, c nu mnn ftn trnst. "f nunfsc. %uccfs, pf curnd. Fu m nflnm nc n nrnflf lun Mnchnfl. Fu nm !nsnt cu tntn. Mnchnfl n rs. "u nu nn !nsnt! $n nun nu f,nst nncn un ffl df tnmp snu spnnu. "u ftn nutumnt nculu, undf !rfn s fn. n-n fust dur df tntl tu n nn fust ntr-ndf!r ln fl. )u tuntf c fl sf nfl l cn!n nnn lumnn dnstnn. Nu nn unsfr!nt tu dnffrfnn( Nculu f,nst u cu tutul nltffl df !fgftnnf. Mnn punnf flurn, mnn punnf nnnmnlf pf pmnt, dnr n schnmn f,nst nfnumrnn cupncn nnln n psrn mnrn. &fnsn ul frn muntus, n cumpnrnnf cu cf frn nncn. *n - ncum mn nducfnm nmnntf. Nun nm mfrs s nf plnmnm dfpnrtf sun nntf snlcnn fnurmf, cnrf prfnu n fn un ncupfrn pfstf drumul nustru. n tutun nu n fust nncnundf ntunfrnc. $umnnn prfn s !nn df pfstf tut, chnnr n dnn pmnt. Nun nm urcnt n nm cunurt nfspus df multf dfnlurn n tutun nu n df!fnnt mfrsul unusntur. +ulturn mrfn lucunnu sus pf !rful muntflun. %f putfnu !fdfn funrtf nnnf. )hnnr n pfntru uchn nu f,nstn !rfu lnmnt. n - fu nm !zut sunrflf! *unr funrtf punn, dunr u rnz mnc pfstf cfl mnn nnlt muntf. *nr fu l-nm !zut. 2uu n fust cfrul n urul lun, cfl mnn frumus rsrnt, pf cnrf fu l-nm !zut !rfudnt. Mnchnfl n rs. Fu crfd c trfnunf s tf ducfm nnpun, ccn nltffl nu !um mnn scpn curnd df tnnf. Mnf nu mn s-n prut ntt df nmuznnt, dnr fu nm tnut c fl n!fn drfptntf. Frn dfstul df grfu, s put s suprn!nfunfsc n !nn. *nr trfnunn. Fu nm ncfput df nnnn ncum s prncfp, df nnnn ncum m-nm trfznt. Mnchnfl n prumns, s m cunduc pn ln cnpt, n - nun mnn n!fm nf!unf df tnnf, n mnn spus fl. Fu nu tnnm, cf !runn fl s spun cu ncfstf cu!nntf. 3 "rfn znlf nn fust nncuntnfnt, cupnlul mfu. Mnmn sttfn lng mnnf n m nnfn df mn. Fu u nunfnm. &fntru prnmn dnt n !nnn mfn putfnm s spun cu nnnmn mpcnt, c fu u nunfnm. Nnnnntf m-n custnt mult ffurt n m-nm snlnt fnurm. Ncum frn funrtf uur. $ncrnmn curgfnu pfstf unrn nn fn. *ucturnn nu !rut df n s rfnunf ln tnnf, dnr fu nm tnut c tu !fn rfun. Nnnndn 2nmn mn-n spus. "u !fn durmn un tnmp ndflungnt n tf !fn trfzn cumplft rffcut. n ntr-ndf!r. Fu nu mnn n!fnm ffnr, fu nu m mnn snmfnm unusnt n f,tfnunt. &fntru ducturn frnm u fnngm. Fn m-nu f,tfrnnt dnn spntnl duu znlf mnn trznu. Mnmn mn-n spus dunr un ultnmn clnp. Fn df nnnn n putut s rustfnsc cu!nntflf. &rnntrf lncrnmn s-n nlnntFu nu put s tf nnu dnn nuu ncns. Fu trfnunf dunr s lucrfz ncum. Frn cn u lu!ntur n fn. *nr df dntn ncfnstn nm putut s nnu sfntnmfntflf df furnf n dfznmgnrf- nncnudnt nu mnn !runnm s m mputrn!fsc, nncnudnt nu mnn durfnm s pun sun sfmnul ntrfnrnn dfstnnul mfu. Nntrndf!r, frn u lu!ntur crunt. *nr fu tnnm n fnptul, c mnmn mfn frn snncfr cu mnnf. &fntru prnmn unr fu nm snmnt, c fn m-nr fn n!ut cu drng prnn prfn m. "rnstffn fn frn ndf!rnt. n nucurnn dnn ncfnst prncnn nr fn trfnunt s nmflnurfzf durfrfn mfn. n ncfst lucru s-n n ntmplnt. Frn unrf ncfst lucru u ln!nn df-n tntlun mfu( Mnmn mn-n prumns n urncf cnz, c m !n !nzntn dfs, c nu m !n lsn snngur. %-n crfnt u sntunnf nuu, n ncfput un nlt cnpntul. Nducfn cu snnf nfsngurnnn, dnr n nun pusnnnlntn. Mnn n!fm nf!unf df tnnf, n spus Mnchnfl. 3 )mnnul nu prfn prfn frumus. ' cldnrf !fchf df crmnzn cu fnndn snnnstr, snmplu, utnl n punn drpnnt. *nr nculu frn lnnntf n dfpnrtf df unmfnn ntr-un pfnsn mnnunnt. Frn ncfputul !frnn, n nun nm

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trfcut prnntr-u nlff df lnlnfcn pn ln cns. Mnrusul lnlnnculun s-n rspndnt pfstf tut, psrn f,nstnu multf, prfcum n fluturn n flurn. 'n pnrc mnrf cu cupncn ntrnn, n fundnl rul, un ndf!rnt pfnsn nl pnrndnsulun. *nr cf!n nu frn n urdnnf. *f n df ln punrtn prnncnpnl, fu nm unsfr!nt ncfst lucru. Nm df!fnnt nflnnntnt, dnr nu nfrncunt. Fu m-nm mnrnt, dfunrfcf snmfnm nmfdnnt nlt dnt ncfl sfntnmfnt df frnc. n df n nm !zut. Fn sf furnnu n spntflf pumnlur, sf nscundfnu, uculfnu lumnnn. 'mnrflf nu nprut nnrn! %f nflnu n urul cnsfn cn !nfspnn n urul rfgnnfn df stup. Fu nm snmnt mnn lun Mnchnfl pf nrnul mfu. % nu-n fnf frnc, nu put s-n fnc nncn un ru. Fu tnnm ncfst lucru n frnm plnn df ndf df. Nun mnn n!fm nf!unf df tnnf, n spus Mnchnfl. )f n !rut s spun unrf cu ncfnst nfnrmnnf( 0n ncfst cmnn frnu n mnrfn mn urntntf surdu-mun n hnndncnpnn. Mnn f,nstnu n cupnn hnndncnpnn mnntnln, prnntrf ncftnn cn!n mungulunzn. Mungulunsmul fstf df fnpt, c unn dnn gfnf, cnrf fstf rspunztunrf pfntru stnnnlnrfn cflulflur, sf mpnrtf df duu urn, nn c n luc s f,nstf dunr duu nstffl df gfnf, f,nst trfn. 'nmfnnn nutrn df tnnn nu nnnlnznt ncfst dfffct curpurnl pn n cfl mnn mnc dftnlnu. Fn tnu cu f,nctntntf, c fstf !urnn df gfnn duuzfcn n unu, dfunrfcf ncfnst nunl n prnmnt numflf ."rnsumnf 41/. Nnc u nlt mutnlnnf .fr rust/ nr spunf unmfnnn nutrn df tnnn. Nh, dnr dnc nr cfrcftn tut ntt df ntfnt cnuzn spnrntunl, ntuncn puntf c nr n ungf fn ln un rfzultnt. Fu cfl punn nu m !d cn u mutnlnt /fr rust/. )mnnul frn cundus df mncuf cntulncf, dnn urdnnul frnncnscnn, nnr ncfstfn lucunn dunr ln cn!n mftrn dfprtnrf ntr-u mnstnrf. *f mnstnrf npnrnnfn u nnsfrnc mnnunnt, cnrf nrtn cn mnnnnturn cntrfdnlfn nnruc, pf cnrf fu nm !zut-u mprfun cu tnt n urn. )u tuntf c pf dnn nfnr prfn dfstul df dfrpnnt, frn n nntfrnur ntr-u stnrf dfstul df nun. 'n mnrf numr df sfnnn ucup lucul df pf zndul f,tfrnur, tn!nnul rutund frn dumnnnt df pncturn, nlf crur culurn nlndf n mntf du!fdfnu c nu nu mnn trfnunt s supurtf df mult tnmp u rfstnurnrf. "utul frn ncrcnt cu urnnmfntf sculptntf, nnr drngustfn sf putfn snmfn pur n snmplu nc, prnn cnrf n fust cunstrunt ncfnst nnsfrnc ntr-u !rfmf, undf mnn f,nstn tnmp, undf *umnfzfu nu frn u fngur sfcundnr, undf Fl frn df fnpt cfntrul !nfnn. 'ndf mnrf mn urntntf n tnmpulun n-n fust dfdncnt $un, undf cnsn %n ntrfcfn nc cflflnltf cnsf n frumusff n mnfstrnf n nu dnn cnuzn utnlntnn n snmplntnn n fnn urncrfn culnnf n fust nfznt n umnr. *nr trfnun s fn fust u !rfmf, n cnrf dumnnn frncn. &ncturnlf pf pfrfn n pf tn!nn lsnu lnmpfdf s sf nflfng ncfst lucru. Frnu stpnntf df mnrflf .*umnfzfu fulgfrtur/, cnrf prfn cu tunt putfrfn %n n cu utnlf %nlf df ngfrn mnn dfgrnn cn un cumnndnnt df lupt, cnrf frn prfgtnt, s nruncf sprf n fn pr nn n nnd pf cfn nfcrfdnncnun. *f pf chnpul multur sfnnn sf putfn !fdfn ncfst fnpt. *nr duu fngurn prfnu plnnf df drngustf, nn cum fstf df fnpt fnnnn lun *umnfzfu- Mnrnn n npustulul Nunn. &f chnpurnlf lur nu sf !fdfn nncn u trstur df frnc. )rucfn dnn ncpfrfn nltnrulun, sun cnrf fn ngfnunchnnu, strlucfn pfstf tuntf. Ntuncn cnd sunrflf dnmnnfnn strlucfn prnn ffrfnstr, lumnnn ntr-u culunrf nurnf n strlucfn ln ffl cn sunrflf pn n cflf mnn ndfprtntf culurn. )hnnr n 7rnstus nsun strlucfn. Fl nu ntrnn cn .murt/ pf crucf, nn cum sf puntf !fdfn dfsfurn. )urpul $un puntf c n fust nfnsuflfnt, dnr Fl strlucfn. Fl n fust ctngturul, Fl n n!nns munrtfn, ndnc munrtfn spnrntunl, nf-n flnnfrnt cu tutul df $ucnffr n n df!fnnt un pud sprf "ntl. Nrtnstul prfn s fn tnut tuntf ncfstfn. )n ntr-u cnrtf sf putfn cntn n ncfst Nnsus. Fl fmnnn u putfrf n u sngurnn, nn cum fu nu nm mnn ntlnnt nn cf!n pn ncum. Nncnudnt nu nm !zut fu n ncfnst nnsfrnc !rfu umnr. Frn df pnrc nr fn fust 7rnstus prfzfnt n prfn pnrc, c pf tun cnrf sf rugnu nncn n ndncfn n !nnrnnnlf %nlf. "unurnlf nrgnntnn dnr tutun mun nlf urgnn mfcnnncf nnruc, cnrf n fn nu n trfnunt s fnf rfstnurnt, nccfntun ncfst fffct n !r fn prc u stnrf nprunpf cfrfnsc. Nncn un tun nf frn prfn tnrf, nncn unul prfn dfplnsnt, nncn un sunft nf ln luculun lun nu dfrnn n slu nn. *rgstus n nlnd sf mncnu ncfstf sunftf prnn ncpfrfn, cnrf susnnfn cu furmn sn !nnrnnnlf n lf rutun fn. )hnnr n cunstrucnn nu n putut s sf cunstrunnsc dnn grffnl. Mnftrnn df cunstrucnf nu tunt prunnnnl ncfstf lucrurn, fn frnu nntrudun n lumfn !nnrnnnlur n n nrmunnfn. Nncn un cul nu dnstrugfn !nnrnnnlf rugcnunnn. Furmn frn ntt df pfrffct cn u mnu. %f nsfmnnu !nnrnnnlf nrmunncf, cu cflf cnrf lf-nm trnt fu dfsurn cu Mnchnfl. Nncnundf nu nm fust fu pf pmnt mnn ffrncnt dfct n ncfnst nnsfrnc. )u tutul nltffl frn n cmnn. Muln frnu ncun urnn df umnrf, cnrf sf nnfnu dup fn cn lnpnturnlf n n nsufnu zn n nunptf. %cfnn frn ct sf puntf df grunznnc. Fu frnm funrtf spfrnnt dnn ncfnst cnuz, dfunrfcf pn ncum fu nu nm mnn putut unsfr!n nstffl df lucrurn. &n ncum nm putut dunr s snmt, dnc un um fmnnn !nnrnnn nunf snu rflf. Ncum trfnunn s rfcunusc, c dfsurn frnu ncfstf umnrf, cnrf schnmnnu !nnrnnnlf. )u ct mnn multf frnu n urul unun um, cu ntt mnn mult m snmfnm rfspnns df fl, cu ntt mnn tnrf m nnmfrnu !nnrnnnlf snlf, cu tuntf c umnrflf nu prfnu nncnudnt c !ur s m ntncf pf mnnf. 'mnrflf prfnu, c nncn nu sf nntfrfsfnz df mnnf. Multf dnn sururn frnu drguf, dnr f,nstnu dunr duu, cnrf m-nu nccfptnt pf mnnf ntru tutul, nn cum n fcut-u surn Nfnfdnctn. Ncfstf duu sururn frnu n flf lnnfrf df nstffl df umnrf. +nnrnnnlf lur frnu dfschnsf n purf. Nculu undf frnu flf, rspndfnu lnnntfn n pncfn. )hnnr n cupnnn, cnrf frnu tut tnmpul nflnnntnn, rfncnunnu ln ncfstf !nnrnnn. 0n prfzfnn lur nu prfn f,nstn cfnrt snu nfnflfgfrn, flf lf nmflnurnu df n df ln ncfput. Nu n susnnfnu nncnudnt drfptntfn, flf nu trfnunnu s fnf n!nngtunrf ntr-u cfnrt, putfnu s sf rftrng umnlf, fr s pnnrd n fnn lur nsun fnn. Frnu ntt df tnrn n snnf, c nu mnn lf frn nfcfsnr nnmnc dnn f,tfrnur. )u tnmpul, cnd fu putfnm df n s m unt mnn ndnc n nnmnlf lur, tnnm n mutn!ulNdnc n nntfrnurul lur nrdfn u lumnn, cnrf strlucfn pfstf tut nuntrul. Ncfn lumnn frn nsun 7rnstus. Flf snu prfdnt cu tutul n ncfn lumnn, nu prnmnt-u fr fzntrn. &rnn fnptul c ful pruprnul , pruprnnlf lur durnnf lfnu nnunt, putfn s strlucfnsc ntt df tnrf ncfnst lumnn. Flf nu rfnunnt ln tutul, nu mnn frnu prnnsf df

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nnmnc. Nnnnn, mnrcmnntfn, mncnrfn, prfstngnul, fnnmn, durnnf lumftn, lf tuntf lf-nu dnt drumul n prnn ncfnstn nu ctngnt flf cu mult mnn mult. Flf n!fnu !unf s sf tupfnsc cu fnnnn ncflfn lumnnn. Flf nu mnn trfnunnu s cuntrulfzf sfntnmfntflf df ur, furnf n suprnrf. Ncfstf sfntnmfntf nncn nu mnn f,nstnu n flf, nu mnn gsfnu nnmnc, n cnrf s punt lucun. Nn nu df!fnnt ncfstf duu surf nsun drngustfn. $nnntfn ndnc, nntfrnunr n sngurnnn frnu dfstul sprn nn, flf nu mnn n!fnu nf!unf df nltcf!n n frnu lnnfrf prnn ncfnstn, s drunnsc tutul, s fmnnf fr ntrfruprf drngustfn lur. Ndf!rntn drngustf nu fstf cn u lumnnrf, cnrf sf cunsum n sf sncrnfnc. $umnnn drngustfn strlucftf prnn drunrf dunr mnn tnrf. *f!nnf cn un sunrf cnrf nu sf stnngf nncnudnt, cnrf crftf tut tnmpul n df!nnf mnn strlucntur, sf hrnftf dnn lumnnn !fnnc, dnn sunrflf df !fcn n lun *umnfzfu. *rngustfn ncfstur surf nu sf rftrgfn nncn df ln cfn, cf trfnunnu s trnnsc cu nttfn umnrf n urul lur. Nu sf rftrgfnu df lng ncftnn. Nu trfnunnu s sf npfrf n nntfrnur, flf putfnu nnsunrnf ncflf ngrfsnunn n putfnu s lf trnnsfurmf n drngustf. n df fnfcnrf dnt sf cutrfmurnu ncflf umnrf, n pnfrdfnu fchnlnnrul n pncnu n ndncurn snu frnu dntf ln u pnrtf. Mn urntntfn dnntrf cflflnltf surf frnu n flf drguf n prnftfnunsf. Frnu tut tnmpul prfgtntf cn s n utf n s nlnnf. N df!fnnt slu nn lur, s nnn grn df nun, n nuu nu nf lnpsfn nnsulut nnmnc. Flf fcfnu tutul cf putfnu. *nr frn dnfncnl pfntru flf, s fnf tunt znun drguf. 'nflf frnu cfl punn mnn nnnf prutf ntf. %pnnul lur df fnfrgnf rmnfn cfl punn stnnnl. Ngrfsnunfn snu suprnrfn sf uprfn nculu cn ntr-u uglnnd, dnr nu frnu schnmnntf n drngustf, cn rmnfnu cn u fnfrgnf nfgntn! n ncpfrf. *nr mn urntntfn dnntrf ncflf surf nu n!fnu ncfnst prutfcnf. )mpul lur df fnfrgnf nu frn stnnnl, frn cn u tun df mnnn, cnrf n!fn u gnur. 'mnrflf nnsurnfnu tutul cu mnrf puft. %f putfn !fdfn tut tnmpul un ru df fnfrgnf, cnrf cn un curdun umnnlncnl spnrntunl sf ntnndfn prnn ncpfrf. n nu numnn pruprnnlf umnrf frnu prfzfntf cn nntf mncn !nmpnrn, n cflf nlf cupnnnlur sttfnu n nnsurnfnu tutul cu mnrf puft. Flf prfnu s crfnsc n prfnu s df!nn cum!n mnn ngrfsn!f, mnn !nn n ncfpfnu s trncnsfzf cupnnn n mnn tnrf. Nn sf nfnnnn u sntunnf pnrndu,, c n urul unfn surf nmnnnlf frn dunr nflnnntf, cfnrt n nn!ndnf. Ncflf surf frnu .mncntf/ df mfsfrnn lur! 0n ndf!rntul sfns nl cu!ntulun! *nc cun!n n sf nn tut tnmpul fnfrgnn, trfnunf s df!nn unusnt. Ncfstf surf frnu cn nntf lumnrn. n flf fmnnnu lumnn, cldur, dnr sf prpdfnu prnn ncfnstn! Flf nu nu prnmnt n snnf nc lumnnn !fnnc, cnrf pruducf fr pnuz fnfrgnf nuu. $f lnpftf ncrfdfrfn pfntru ncfnstn. $umnnn puntf s-u prnmfnsc dunr ncfln, cnrf n rfnunnt cu tutul ln snnf, cnrf n dnt drumul ln tut cf fstf mntfrnnl. n ncfst nct df munc pruprnf, nfcfsnt mult curn n ncrfdfrf. *nr ntuncn df!nnf dnn crfdnn cununtfrf. Fu crfd n *umnfzfu df!nnf Fu tnu, c "u f,ntn. Ncfstn fstf pnsul cfl mnn nmpurtnnt. Nncunftunrfn, cnrf nchndf ncfn u, fstf frncn! Frncn, s rfnunn ln tutul, pfntru c nu sf tnf, c mnn trznu nu stnn pur n snmplu n pustnu, snngur n prsnt. Frncn, s rfnunn ln pruprnul tu Fu, pfntru c nu sf tnf, cf sf prnmftf n schnmn. Frncn, s rfnunn ln !nznnnlul mntfrnnl, pfntru c nu fstf df ncrfdfrf cf!n cf nu sf !fdf, spnrntunlul, dfunrfcf nu sf puntf !fdfn. Frncn, c nu !n f,nstn tutun un *umnfzfu! Ncfnstn fstf rscrucfn nmpurtnnt n f,nstfnfn nunstrf. Ntuncn cnd nun nm n uns ln u, nu nf mnn puntf n utn nnmfnn. Nun nnnf, n dunr nun, putfm n trfnunf s dfschndfm ncfn ncunftunrf. Fnfcnrf, cnrf cnut, fstf cundus pn nncn, fnfcnrf, cnrf cfrf, nu trfnunf s mfnrg snngur ncfst drum. *nr ncfn nchunftunrf, trfnunf s-u dfschnd snngur. Fr n utur! Fl nsun trfnunf s-n n!nng tfnmn. Fl trfnunf s spun- *n, fu crfd, fu tnu, c "u f,ntn! Fu tnu c "u f,ntn n fu tnu c "u ftn funrtf nun. Fu tnu! Nu, pfntru c tf-nm !zut, nu, pfntru fnptul c mn-nn nrtnt mnnunnn, nu, pfntru c "u nu mn-nn lsnt prnntr-un mnrncul u nlt nlfgfrf. Nu - fu tnu ncfnstn pur n snmplu, pfntru c snmt, c "u trfnunf s f,ntn, pfntru c fu snmt drngustfn pf cnrf u fmnnn "u. Fu tnu ncfnstn pur n snmplu, n fu tf nunfsc *umnfzfulf! Frncn fstf cfl mnn mnrf nlnnt n lun %ntnnn. Fl u mfnnnf dup putfrnlf snlf, ccn un cnrf fstf nchns dnn ncfnst cnuz, fstf df fnpt punrtn sprf lnnfrtntf, cnrf lns n urmn sn pf !fcn mprnn lun %ntnnn. Ntuncn cnd un sf nchndf n urmn tn, nu mnn nrf fl nncn u putfrf, ncnnflf snlf sunt dunr nrfnlf. Ncfln, cnrf st n fnn unn, fstf cuprnns mnn nc u dnt uur df fl n fstf dnn nuu trns punn n ndncurn. )nd nn trfcut df ncfn u, ntuncn nn rfunt. Muln stnu nnn ntrfgn n fnn ncflfn un. Fn sunt dfstul df putfrnncn, s sf ffrfnsc df ntncurnlf lun %ntnnn, dnr fn nu nu curn ul, s dfschnd ncunftunrfn. $f fstf frnc s rfnunf ln .fgu-ul/ lur, pf cnrf l-nu nprnt cu grn n cnrf lf-n ndus n uchnn lumnn cnnstf n sln!. Fn sf tfm, pfntru c nu put crfdf, c ndf!rntn putfrf sf nfl n duh - trupul sf !fstf ftf n nn n cn!n nnn. *fznmgnn n dfspncnn n nntfrnurul lur sf nturc fn dnn drum, pfsc pf trfptf n us, n cnut ffrncnrfn n sngurnnn mntfrnnl n nu nf!unf ntuncn ndfsfurn df funrtf mult tnmp, pn cf fn n ung nnrn ln prngul duhulun. Fn sf nsfnmn cu u lumnnrf, cnrf nu sf lns nprnns, dnn prncnnn frncnn, c fn sf dnstrugf nstffl. Numnn - ln cf fulusftf fn ntuncn( Fn sf nsfnmn cu u smn df rsnd, cnrf nu sf lns pus n pmnt, pfntru c fn trfnunf ntuncn s rfnunf ln nndfntntntfn fn. *nr tucmnn numnn prnn ncfnstn puntf fn s nduc rundf ultfrnunrf, cnrf punrt !nnn fn mnn dfpnrtf, n cnrf fn puntf s trnnsc spnrntunl mnn dfpnrtf. $n cf fstf fn nltffl df fulus( Fn puntf s sf nn nc cn!n nnn, sf ufnlftf, putrfzftf n munrf ntuncn. Ncfnst murnrf urmfnz, cf-n drfpt, mnn muln nnn mnn trznu, dfct dnc fn nr fn sfmnnt, dnr ncfnst murnrf fstf dffnnntn!. 0ntr-un cnz nducf munrtfn fn !nn nuu ln n!fnl, n cfllnlt cnz fstf fn munrt. %ururnlf ncfstur duu grupurn n lunu putfrfn lur dnn rugcnunf. 2ugcnunfn fstf furmn f,tfrnunr, cnrf fncf pusnnnl cunfctnrfn nntfrnunr cu lumnnn dnn ncfputurn n lun *umnfzfu. Fu putfnm !fdfn ndfsfn, cum uscnlnnnlf rugcnunnn l nfurnu pf dfplnn pf cfl cnrf sf rugn, sf punfnu prutfctur n urul lun. )um flf ptrund trupul pf dfplnn. 'scnlnnnlf nnltf nlf unfn rugcnunn pnsnunntf, cnrf !nnf ntr-ndf!r df ln nnnm, put s trnnsfurmf n sus uscnlnnnlf unsf nlf trupulun ntr-u sffr mult mnn nnlt, .sf lf ndfprtfzf/. 2ugcnunfn

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curftf uscnlnnn pruprnf, nn nct umul fstf n stnrf, s prfnn fnfrgnn nnlt, curnt n lun *umnfzfu. Fstf f,nct cn n ln rndnuu. 'n npnrnt df rndnu prust nu puntf nnnf dnstnngf frfc!fnflf dnstnnctf, sunt tutdfnunn sunftf sfcundnrf n sunftf df dfrnn df fn. Nntrfngn .murdrnf/ fstf prflunt n nnrn rfdnt. 2ugcnunfn fstf fnltrul df dfsprnrf. )u ct mnn nntfnsn!, cu ct mnn umnl, cu ct mnn plnn df drngustf fstf fn, cu ntt mnn nnnf funcnunfnz fl, cu ct mnn mult .murdrnf/ ndfprtfnz fl prnn fnltru, cu ntt mnn curnt n prfnuns fstf fnfrgnn, pf cnrf u lns fl s trfnc. )t df muln sf mulumfsc cu murdrnn! n sf mnr ntuncn, df cf .muturul/ lur nu funcnunfnz cum trfnunf, df cf sf nlnnf fl cuntnnuu n sf uprftf, df cf trfnunf fn cuntnnuu s mfnrg n .ntflnfrul df rfpnrnnn/, pfntru n-l punf nnrn n funcnunf. Funrtf rfpfdf nm rfcunscut fu, cf nnnfcu!ntnrf fstf rugcnunfn pfntru ncfnn, cnrf crfd n ncfnstn smfrnn n plnnn df ncrfdfrf. n cupnnn, n crur sntunnf frn cfn mnn rfn, nu df!fnnt n tnmpul rugcnunnn cfl mnn ndfsfn funrtf lnnntnn. 'scnlnnn $un n pnrnlnznt umnrflf. Flf mfrgfnu cu tnmpul cn fnnnf f,tfnuntf ln !nctnmflf lur, dn, flf trfnunnu ndfsfn s sf dfprtfzf pf dfplnn. 0n nnsfrncn ncfnstn n mnstnrnn n-nm !zut fu nncnudnt umnrf n cuntrnrnu cu nltf nnsfrncn pf cnrf lf cunutfnm. Furmn fn, fngurnlf fn, nmngnnnlf, nrmunnn, cldurn n prutfcnn fn, pf cnrf fn lf fmnnn, furmn u uscnlnnf ntt df curnt n cumprnmnt - fn frn pfntru umnrf df nfptruns. ' rugcnunf ntr-u nstffl df mprf urnmf fstf nc cu mult mnn ffncnfnt, n sf nmulftf putfnnnl nc u dnt, dnc muln sf rung mprfun. ' uscnlnnf nn df nmfns trfcf pur n snmplu prnn nzulnturul, cnrf sf nfl ntrf um n *umnfzfu, curfntul puntf s curg lnnfr. 'n .fnur df fmunf/ sf ducf pf spntf n us. Ncfnstn fstf fnfrgnn cnrf sf rf!nrs n nun prnn culunnn !frtfnrnl, ncfnstn fstf hrnnn duhu!nncfnsc, cnrf nlnmfntfnz cfntrflf nunstrf df fnfrgnf. $n hrnnn fnznc pfntru trupul nustru tnf ncfnstn fnfcnrf- cu ct mnn curnt fstf hrnnn, cu ct mnn punnf sunstnnf df dffurn cunnnf fn, cu ct mnn punn .murdrnf/, cu ntt mnn nun, cu ntt mnn df mnn mnrf !nlunrf fstf fn. "ut nn stnu lucrurnlf n cu .hrnnn duhu!nncfnsc/. Numnn c ncfnstn fstf mult mnn nmpurtnnt pfntru sntntf n pfntru cnpncntntfn df rnndnmfnt, dfct hrnnn trupfnsc. *f cf sf mulumfsc nncn nn df muln cu .murdrnn/( F,nstnu n unflf sururn, cnrf frnu tut tnmpul prust dnspusf, ntrtntf n nunntunrf df cfnrt n fr drngustf. )n mgnrn df crnt ducfnu flf umnrflf lur cu flf. )fl mnn ru frn cnzul ln ndmnnnstrntunrf. Frn u snngur mnsc ntunfcnt, cnrf fnfrnfn nculu n ntfptn, s-n ncurn fzf nnrn !nctnmflf sprf .fnptf/ nun. Ncfstf umnrf nu sunt ntr-ndf!r n stnrf, s nfptunnsc snngurf fnptflf lur rflf. Flf nu nf!unf df cnnf!n, cnrf fncf ncfnstn pfntru flf. "untf mncnlf gfluznn n nntrngn, luptflf sfcrftf pfntru putfrf, dumnnn dfschns n ngrfsnunfn, ur, furnf, mnnf, mnncnun n dnstrugfrf sfr!fsc ncfstur umnrf pfntru sturnrfn snmurnlur lur dfgfnfrntf. Flf sf sntnsfnc n lcumnn !nctnmfn lur n u ndfnmn nfstulf sprf tuntf pntnmnlf n !ncnnlf, nlcul, lcumnf df sn!urnrf, sf,unlntntf n tuntf !nrnnnnlf, dfpfndfn df drugurn n df tnnlftf, tuntf ncfstfn sunt lucrurn, cnrf trnnsfurm fnfrgnn curnt *umnfzfnfnsc n fnfrgnf nfgntn!, dnstrugtunrf. Nu unsfr!, nndnr, ncftn unmfnn df luc, cum fn nu rfnunnt ln lnnfrtntfn lur, cum fn s-nu fcut scln!n - df nun !unf u mnngf df uc nlf putfrnlur rulun( *nc fn nr putfn !fdfn, cum ncfstf umnrf sf nucur df fnfcnrf ncnunf rfunt, lur lf-nr fn ru dnn cnuzn scrnfn! )nnstf n rfnumf, dup ncfstf lucrurn sf strdunftf nstzn ntrfngn lumf, stpnnrf pfstf ct sf puntf df muln nlnn. $n ncfnstn nu nu cfn mnn muln nncn mcnr putfrf pfstf fn nnn. Nuturfnlnznrfn fstf mnrfn df!nz! Ncfnstn sf cnut pfstf tut, n snngurtntf, n dnscutfc, n rn strnnf - nu ln snnf nsun. )um put fu nndnr s m nuturfnlnzfz, dnc funcnunfz cn un runut n urmfz cumnntf tuturur nntrngnlur nlf putfrnlur rulun( Nnmfnn nu lf fstf nfn uturnt lsnt prnd! Fnfcnrf puntf s sf mputrn!fnsc! Nrmflf sunt !unn n rugcnunfn - n ngfrul mfu, cnrf mfrgf tcut nlturn df mnnf n ntfnpt numnn fnptul, cn fu s-n dnu n sfrnt frul !nfnn mflf lun n mn, cn fl s m punt ndrumn n cunducf - nu n scln!ngnf, cum prftnnd ntt df muln nnt ucurnturn, nu- n lnnfrtntf! Numnn c lnnfrtntfn nu nsfnmn, s pun fncf urncf !rfn tu. $nnfrtntfn nsfnmn s pun fncf tutul, cf fstf putrn!nt. +unnn nunstr fstf mult prfn tnrf nnflufnnt dnn tuntf prnlf pusnnnlf. "untf uscnlnnnlf nlf cflurlnln unmfnn n cflf nlf putfrnlur rulun u nnflufnfnz. *f-nnnn cnd nun !um prflun !unn lun *umnfzfu, suntfm nun ntr-ndf!r lnnfrn. Fl pusfd snngurn !unn lnnfr, nfnnflufnnt df tun cfnlnln, n fnfcnrf fstf nstffl cu fl, cnrf fstf dnspus, s nduptf !unn $un. n sururnlf ncfstun ultnm grup sf rugnu, tut nn cn n cflflnltf. 0n f,tfrnur nu frn nncn u dnffrfn df rfmnrcnt. *nr ct df nnnf, c cfn mnn muln nu sf put untn n nnnm! Fstf df nfnchnpunt, ln cf ffl df lucrurn sunt unnn n stnrf s sf gndfnsc pf lng rugcnunf. Nmnrcmnntfn curnt puntf s nscund unflf lucrurn# nmpurtnnt fstf ns, cum nrnt stnrfn pf dfdfsunt. 3 Ncfnstn n fust dfcn nmprf urnmfn mfn nuu pfntru tnmpul urmtur. Fu frnm nnnf ntrfnnut, sururnlf n ddfnu ntr-ndf!r tunt snlnnn. 'nn dnntrf flf m-n n!nt chnnr s n cntfsc. Fn putfn funrtf ndnc s sf trnnspun n nntfrnurul mfu n n unsfr!nt rfpfdf, c fu nr trfnun s fnu n stnrf df ncfnstn. Fu nm n n!nt ncfnstn funrtf rfpfdf, numnn c fu n!fnm tut tnmpul nf!unf df cnnf!n, cnrf s-mn ntunrc pngnnnlf, fnnndc pfntru nn cf!n nu frnu mnnnlf mflf n stnrf. *nr nun frnm u mnrf cumunnntntf, undf fnfcnrf l n utn pf cfllnlt, nn df nnnf pf ct putfn. N fust u mnrf nnugnrf pfntru mnnf. Fu nm unsfr!nt ncun, c multf lucrurn mn frnu pf dfplnn strnnf. *nc nm n!ut pn ncum df n dfstulf ucnznn, s m n! n rndnrf, ntuncn fu trfnunn ncum ntr-ndf!r s nnsul!fsc un curs df mnftrnn. *f fnfcnrf dnt, cnd fu tfrmnnnsfm df cntnt u pngnn, trfnunn fu s ntfpt, pn !fnfn cnnf!n, cnrf mn nturcfn pngnnn. Fu n!fnm, cf-n drfpt, u sunfrnf, cu cnrf m putfnm fncf unsfr!nt,

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dnr fu nu !runnm n nncn un cnz s-n tnrnnnzfz pf cfnlnln n u fulusfnm numnn n cnzul df strnct nfcfsntntf. Nn nm ntfptnt fu tucmnn df fnfcnrf dnt rndtunrf, pn cf !fnfn cnnf!n, chnnr dnc frn ct sf puntf df nntfrfsnnt# n pfntru mnnf frn tutul nntfrfsnnt. *nr fu tnnm n fnptul, c frn u mnlustn!nrf nfnt dnn cumun, s nm !unf s nnsul!fsc un nsfmfnfn curs nntfnsn! n rndnrf. Fstf cn ln tuntf cflflnltf. Nttn tnmp ct tf nfln nuntru n trfnunf s tf ustfnftn, sunt multf lucrurn snmntf cn fnnnd suprtunrf. *nc ns nn trfcut n nn rfzul!nt u prunlfm, ftn nucurus, c nn nnrunt-u, c nn putut s rfzntn, pfntru n fn mnn nugnt cu u f,pfrnfn. n cu smfrfnnn n mfrs ln ncfput nc funrtf grfu. M custn mult n!nngfrf df snnf, s m lns nfnt, mnrcnt n hrnnt df sururn strnnf, s nccfpt nfn uturnrfn mfn. Funrtf grfu n fust ntuncn, cnd fu cunstntnm ln unflf, c flf fcfnu ncfnstn numnn cu snl, c nstn npnrnnfn, cf-n drfpt, df muncn lur, c sf scrnfnu ns df mnnf. Ncfnstn u puntf unsfr!n df nltffl fnfcnrf. %crnn fstf un funrtf nntfns sfntnmfnt. Ncfnstn nu sf lns nscuns, n nu fstf nf!unf df multf, s pun snmn ncfst sfntnmfnt, n fr s fnn !nznunnr. )hnnr dnc ncfrcnrfn fstf nntfprnns, s u nscunzn n f,tfrnur, ncfnstn fufnz cfl mnn ndfsfn. Nu fstf frumus s snmn, c nlnn sf scrnfsc df tnnf. Ncfnstn fstf nn df umnlntur. *nr cfn mnn muln nu sunt df!nn df ncfst lucru. Fn sunt prnzunnfrn nn sfntnmfntflur lur. )nnf puntf, unrf, s snr pfstf umnrn sn( N fust grfu pfntru mnnf, n nsfmfnfn sntunnn s nu m gndfsc- tu pun, cf-n drfpt, s tf scrnftn df mnnf, n fu trfnunf s m prfdnu nfn uturnt nf, dnr duhu!nncfsc m nflu fu tutun mult pfstf tnnf. $uptf lungn trfnunn fu s n cu mnnf nsumn. *nr, nsfrnt, nznutnsfm fu tutun. N fust !ncturnn cfn mnn grfn, dnr cfn mnn nmpurtnnt. )nnf sf nnl pf snnf, sf !n smfrn. Nnsus n-n spus ncfnstn, pfntru n-n nlnntn pf cfn mncn n srncn. Nu - Fl nf-n pus cu ncfnstn unn dnntrf chfnlf sprf mprnn cfrurnlur n mn. Nngmfnrf duhu!nncfnsc fstf cfl mnn ru dumnn pf ncfnst cnlf. Fu nsumn nm trnt ncfnstn. Fstf u f,pfrnfn, pf cnrf fnfcnrf trfnunf s-u fnc udnt, df cnrf nu fstf nnmfnn scutnt. Ncfnstn fstf unn dnntrf cflf mnn nmpurtnntf f,pfrnfnf, dnr dnn pcntf n unn, pf cnrf dfsfurn u unn nnrn funrtf uur. Nngmfnrfn fstf rdncnnn n tut rul. %ntnn n czut, pfntru c fl n df!fnnt ngmfnt. Nngmfnrfn trngf dup snnf nn!ndnn. )nnf fstf ngmfnt, cnrf, dfcn, fstf df prfrfn, c s-nr nfln mnn sus dfct nlnn, ncfln gfnfrfnz nutumntnc sfntnmfntf df nn!ndnf fn df ncfnn, cnrf ucup un pust mnn nnlt. )ffn cf urmfnz fstf ntuncn frncn, frncn, df n fn dfscupfrnt. )nnf l nn!ndnnz pf nltul dnn cnuzn puznnfn snlf sucnnlf, mnnnnn, nnnnlur, ffmfnn lun, n fstf cfl mnn ndfsfn tfnm - chnnr dnc n nncuntnfnt -, cfllnlt nr putfn unsfr!n ncfst lucru n s-nr putfn nprn fn df ncfst lucru. n cflunlnlt n fstf tfnm, c fl puntf snmn uscnlnnnlf nm!ndnfn, n pfntru c fl nng df sfnm, c cf!n nmfnnntur l ntmpnn. Nstffl n fstf ntuncn fnfcrunn frnc fn df cfllnlt, n frncn fstf cfl mnn dnstrugtur sfntnmfnt, cnrf f,nst ntr-ndf!r. Nn cum urn l puntf dnstrugf pf cfllnlt, tut nn tf dnstrugf frncn pf tnnf nsun. &fntru multf nuln fstf frncn cnuzn. n nnfnrctul mnucnrdnc n cnncfrul n nu rdcnnn cfl mnn ndfsfn n frnc. Ncfnstn sf nfl ns ndfsfn nn df ndnc nrdcnnnt n fstf df n nn df .unnnunt/, c fn nu mnn fstf rfcunuscut cn fnnnd nstffl. "untf cflflnltf, n strfsul, ncrcrn nlf mfdnulun nmnnnnt n nn mnn dfpnrtf, sunt numnn fncturn ndnnunnln. Flf mrfsc rnscul, nu sunt ns nncnudnt dfclnnnturul. *f cf sunt mnnngfrnn lu!nn nn df dfs df nnfnrctul df nnnm( %ngur, fn lucrfnz mult, sunt tut tnmpul n hfctnc, sf nfl sun prfsnunf. *nr n nstffl df sntunnn sunt n muln nlnn. Numnn c - lur lf fstf frnc, s nu fnf prfn slnnn pfntru prfsnunfn f,frcntnt, s fufzf n s fnf dnn nfnr dnn slu n. *f cf nu mnn nlfs dfntntnn cutn cfn mnn mnrf df nnfnrcturn df nnnm n nprunpf cfn mnn mnc mfdnf n nnnlur df !nn( Nncn fn nu lucr mnn mult dfct nlnn. %ngur, fn sf nfl sun mpu!rnrfn psnhnc, s fnf nf!unn s-n fnc fnfcrunn trfnnn cum trfnunf, dnr ncfnstn lf mfrgf n multur nlturn tut nn. Nu, fn lucrfnz funrtf nprunpf df pncnfnt - n ncfstunn n fstf tfnm! n ncfnst frnc sf trnnsmntf nsuprn lur, dfunrfcf cfn mnn punnn tnu, cum tf pun prutf n ffncnfnt fn df ncfst lucru. *f cf sf mnuln!fsc nn df muln df cnncfr( Fn sf tfm! Frnc fn df rnzf, frnc fn df sunstnnf nucn!f, frnc fn df ntrnff, fn df n fn snngur, frnc fn df cfnlnln, frnc fn df snnf nsun, frnc fn df tuntf. Fn sf tfm df n fncf cnncfr, n ncfnstn fstf cfn mnn sngur mftud, s tf mnuln!ftn ntr-ndf!r df ncfnst nunl. *f cf ! ngrn urnn nfrncunn df znun df mnnf. Nu mnn n!fn !un nndnr nncn u ncrfdfrf( 'ntnn-! ln psrn, ln nnnmnlf, ln nntur! *nc gnzfln nr fn un um, fn n-nr putfn cu sngurnn s-n scnpf lfulun. Frncn n-nr pnrnlnzn pncnunrflf. *nc pnsrfn nr fn un um, fl nr trfnun s munr df funmf. *f nttn grn , cu cf puntf fl mnnf s sf hrnfnsc, n-nr putfn fl nstzn s znunrf nfnr, pfntru n prnndf nnsfctf. Frncn n d nrnpn!, sun un pru!frn cunuscut. Ncfnstn nu fstf frnc, cn cuntrnrnul ncfstfnn- !unnn df n suprn!nfun. Frncn mpnfdncn numnn, fn nncnudnt nu nnrnpfnz. n frncn dfclnnfnz ntuncn tuntf cflflnltf sfntnmfntf nfgntn!f. *nc fu m nspnmnt df cnnf!n, df!nn fu cu tnmpul furnus nsuprn lun, ncfp s-l ursc. n cffn cf frnc mn prncnnunftf mnf, ncfnstn n-u fnc lun cu urn mfn. n cfllnlt lu!ftf nnpun! Fl sf npr. Fl nu tnf tutun, c fl n ncfput df n prnmul ntnc cu frncn lun, c urn n fust numnn rfncnn nsuprn ncfstun lucru. Fl sf snmtf n drfpt. n dnc cnnf!n tf lu!ftf pf unrnzul drfpt, d-n n cfl stng sprf lu!nrf. $n ncfnstn sf rfffr ncfnst prupuznnf. Nu s tf lnn ntut pn ln munrtf, cum muln nrunnzfnz, schnmnul duhu!nncfsc df lu!nturn trfnunf s-l sfrftn. % nu rspunzn ln ur cu ur, cn s-u prfnfn, s-u trnnsfurmn n s-u trmnn nnpun cn drngustf. Ntuncn pun tu lnnntnt s nn n cfllnlt unrnz. Nu mnn !nnf nnmnc nnpun. Nunftf-n dumnnnn tn! - nu dnn cnuzn c tu trfnunf s tf ucn nnnn unrnn! "u nncn nu trfnunf s-n nunftn n cnlntntfn lur df dumnnn, cn n cnlntntfn lur cn unmfnn, cnrf sunt tut nn cupnnn lun *umnfzfu cn tnnf, tut nn df prfnun. Nncftfnz df n-n ur, ncfpf s-n nunftn, n urn lur sf !n f!npurn n nnmnc. *nc fn nu mnn fstf nnt, sf mnstunf fn pf snnf nsun cn un fuc, cnrf nu mnn prnmftf hrnn. n, dfudnt, fn nu mnn sunt dumnnnn tn. Grffnln fstf ncffn, c nun nf gndnm n prfn scurtf durntf df tnmp. *nc fu ncftfz nstzn, s-l

4;:

mnn ursc pf !fcnnul mfu, pf cnrf l-nm cunsndfrnt nnn df-n rndul cn fnnnd dumnnul mfu, ntuncn fl ntr-ndf!r cu grfu m !n mnrnn mnnf. *nr puntf put fu n ctf!n lunn, prunnnnl chnnr n cn!n nnn s dnnlughfz cu fl nnrn nurmnl. &untf c sf dfz!ult dup nnn df znlf chnnr u mnc prnftfnnf dnn ncfnstn. Numnn c - s prunfzn u sptmn df drngustf, n dnc nu rfuftf ntuncn, n-l lnn pf .ntrnul prust/ nnrn nnlt - s !nd fl tutun snngur, undf n ungf fl fr gfnfruzntntfn mfn - ncfnstn nu funcnunfnz! *rngustfn ndf!rnt nu punf cundnnn, nncn ultnmntf. Fn fstf pur n snmplu prfzfnt. Nntutdfnunn! n nsturnn fstf plnn df f,fmplf df ncfst gfn. Mnn df crn s-nr putfn scrnf dfsprf ncfst sunnfct. Ghnndn fstf ntr-ndf!r f,fmplul cfl mnn cunuscut n cfl mnn nmpuntur. Fr nncn u !nulfn, cu nfsfrnt drngustf n rndnrf n-n cundus fl pupurul su n nfnrn nsuprnrnn. Nfgnnnstnn n mfrs pf cfnlnlt cnlf. Ncum fstf un sffrt dnn pupulnnf munrt snu f,nlnt. n rfstul( Fnfcnrf fstf nsfmnnt df nfnurucnrf, df-nnnn gsftn u fnmnlnf fr munrtf, rnnrf, nunl, srncnf, funmftf! % nu lupn, nu nsfnmn- s rfnunn, s nu tf npfrn. Ghnndn n nrtnt ncfnstn. % n nunftn pf !rmnnn tn nu nsfnmn- s tf lnn sun ugnt fr nprnrf! n nrmflf nunnrnn n ut, dnr flf nu rnfsc! Ncfnstn fstf dnffrfnn. %mfrfnnn fstf u cundnnf pfntru ncfst lucru n cfrtntudnnfn nnsulut, c nnmfnn nu-mn puntf lun nnmnc, pfntru c duhul mfu fstf dunr nftrfctur n nn!ulnfrnnnl. n tuntf cflflnltf sunt pf dfplnn nfnmpurtnntf.

3 Nrugnnn frn ncfputul. Nrugnnn nu sf puntf f,frcntn mult !rfmf! Multf zncnlf cunnn cu mult mnn mult ndf!r, dfct putfm nun s crfdfm. )u tnmpul nm n!nt fu, s rmn n ntuncn umnl, cnnd frn grfu, ntuncn cnd frn !urnn df .umnlnnnf/ ndf!rntf. n fu sunt tutun nucuruns dnn ncfst mutn!, pfntru c nm putut fu s trfc prnn ncfnst cunl. Mn s-nu dfschns pfrspfctn!f nun spnrntunlf, ln cnrf n mud nurmnl nncn nu sf !nsfnz. 'ltnmn unr m-n ntrfnnt Mnchnfl"f-nn gndnt tu !rfudnt, cum nm putut nun s dnscutm( Nprunpf ntutdfnunn nn putut s mn snmn prfzfnn, ctfudnt nn putut s m !fzn snu n ddfnn sfnmn df fnptul c sunt nprunpf. "u nn fust dfschns n prn!nnn mfn, n fu nm putut dfsfurn s-n trnnsnmt un gnd. *nr ntuncn, cnd frnn ntr-ndf!r cu mnnf( &un s-n nmnntftn mprf urrnlf( *n, ln ncfst fnpt fu nncn nu m-nm gndnt, fu ntutdfnunn m-nm trfznt n nrnflf tntlun mfu! *nr - cf n!fn fl df-n fncf cu tuntf ncfstfn( Fl n-n dnt ncfnst pusnnnlntntf. *rngustfn sn pfntru tnnf, fn n fust funrtf putfrnnc. Fn n-n pfrmns u stnrf df !nnrnnf, n cnrf n-n fust pusnnnl, s prsftn curpul tu n s n ungn ln nn!flul nustru. Fr cu!nt fu l-nm prn!nt. %pnrntul fstf ntr-ndf!r un prnnzunnfr nl curpulun, dnr cnd dunrmf ncfstn, puntf spnrntul s-l prsfnsc n puntf nntrn n nn znsn sffr nstrnl. %ffrn nstrnl fstf sffrn spnrntunl, cnrf n fstf curpulun fnznc cfl mnn nprupnnt, ndnc prnn nltf cu!nntf, cfl mnn us nn!fl spnrntunl. *uhul nu dunrmf nncnudnt. $un nu-n trfnunf u pnuz df udnhn cn n curpulun. Nunptf fstf n mnn nctn!, ntuncn cnd puntf s fug dnn strmtunrfn curpulun. Nn sunt n fnfcnrf nunptf muln unmfnn .pf drum/. *unr c dnn mutn!f prfcnsf fstf cunutnnn nchns, n df rfgul nu mnn f,nst nmnntnrn dnmnnfnn. +nsflf nr putfn f,plncn multf, dnc umfnnrfn nu nr fn nn df unrn. Multf !nsf nu sunt hnlucnnnnn n nu pru!nn dnn suncuntnfnt. %unt df fnpt mnn mult nntf trnrn, cnrf sunt ndusf df spnrnt dnn sffrn nstrnl, n cnrf - df multf urn dunr dfzurdunntf n frngmfntntf - n gsfsc drumul n cuntnfntul nustru. Muln nu !nsnt rudf cnrf nu dfcfdnt snu cunutnnnf, ln cnrf fn nncn nu s-nu mnn gndnt! %nu muln nu prnmnt n !ns drumurn dfsfnntf, dup cnrf fn nu cutnt mult !rfmf, snu rfzul!rn pfntru prunlfmf, ln cnrf fn lucrnu! Funrtf multf nn!fnnn sf fnc n .!ns/. *fcn cf rul s nnn ntuncn suncuntnfntul( %nu cn nu !nsnt df n df ntmplrn, cnrf s-nu ndf!frnt n scurt tnmp( )f rul s nnn ntuncn tutun suncuntnfntul( 0n sffrn nstrnl sf tfrg nnrnfrflf ntrf prfzfnt, !nntur snu trfcut. +un nu ! putfn nmngnnn, dfunrfcf tnmpul fstf un fnctur df nftrfcut pf pmnt, n nnmfnn nu-n puntf fncf fn. *nr ncfst lucru fstf !nlnnnl dunr pfntru mntfrnf. &fntru duh nu f,nst tnmp n tfrmfnul !ustru. ' sfcund pf pmnt puntf nsfmnn pfntru un duh u !fnncnf, n u mnf df nnn pmntftn put trfcf pfntru fl ntr-u clnp. *unr mntfrnn dfpnndf df tnmp. )hnnr n !nnturul nu fstf u cunncndfn ntt df mnrf, nn cum muln crfd. %f ntmpl tutul dup nnumntf lfgn n sf puntf sucutn nprunpf f,nct dnn trfcut. Nu cu crnlf df tnrut snu prnn cntnrfn mnnnn, cu tuntf c nnumntf nndncnn sf put gsn. )cn spnrntul f!ndfnfnz curpul, nn sfmnflf spnrntunlf cnrf sunt dfsfurn ffncnfntf pfntru !nntur, sf gsfsc pf curp. 0n pnrtf puntf fncf multf nfnrmnnn !nlnnnlf nstrulugnn. Nu nstrulugnn pfntru ntrfngn lumf. Fn fstf !nlnnnl cfl mult pfntru rndurnlf df nrf nlf unur nlustrntf. Nu, nstrulugnn cusmnc, cnrf puntf nflfgf nsfmnrnlf spnrntunlf nlf stflflur! %tflflf nu u mnrf nnflufn nsuprn !unstr. Numnn c nncn nu fstf nn cn pfstf tut- cf nu puntf !fdfn snu trn umul, nu crfdf. ) lunn nrf u nnflufn, ncfst lucru fstf df nfcuntfstnt. Ncfst lucru l puntf !fdfn fnfcnrf ln !nlurnlf mrnn. )hnnr n fnptul c f,nst muln dfpfndfnn df lun, fstf df nfcuntfstnt. *fcn, dnc u mnc lun rfuftf, s pruduc nstffl df schnmnrn, s nu nnn unrf nncn un fffct stflflf nfnmngnnnt df mnrn nlf unn!frsulun nsuprn pmntulun( Nnnfnflfs, lunn fstf mnn nprunpf# dnr stflflf nu nn u mrnmf mnrf, c n ln u dnstnn mnrf nu tutun nnflufn. )hnnr ncum nu ncfput s gndfnsc nltffl nstrulugnn !utrn. Nntrf tnmp sunt cunuscutf cnncn sutf df stflf nn znsf Funsnrf, dnn cnrf cfl mnn mnc, dup spusflf unmfnnlur df

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tnnn df ln NN%N, fstf mnn mnrf dfct cflf u sut df mnlnnrdf df stflf dnn snstfmul !ustru sulnr! &un tu s-n nchnpun nn cf!n( *nr ncfstfn sunt nc pnftrf mncn n unn!frsul nfmrgnnnt. )flf mnn mnrn stflf nu u mrnmf df mnn multf trnlnunnf df nnn lumnn! %-n nchnpun nn cf!n, fstf chnnr n pfntru nun funrtf grfu. n ncfstfn s nu nnn !rfu nnflufn, dnc mncn lun fstf n stnrf, s rndncf cu cn!n mftrn mnrfn urnn( $n mn urntntfn lumnn fstf grfnt ncfputul gndnrnn. Nu fstf nn, c m ntfnpt un !nntur ffrncnt, dunr c sunt dnn grffnl nscut n zudnn nnn snu cfnlnlt. Fstf nprunpf nn!frs. Nnmfnn nu sf nntf dnn grffnl. "untf nntfrnlf sunt cnlculntf cu f,nctntntf. n ntuncn ! nntfn sun u nnumnt cunstflnnf df stflf, dfunrfcf nnflufnn lur uffr f,nct ncfn nmprf urnrf df !nn, cnrf fstf nfcfsnr pfntru crftfrfn !unstr n cnrf ! puntf n utn. *nc cnnf!n nrf cununtfn ncfstfn n fstf n stnrf, s cntfnsc cu .ndf!rnt/ stflflf, puntf nflfgf multf mnn nnnf. *fcn - pfntru nun fstf cu mult mnn uur. )cn tutul cf n fust, n tutul, cf rfnfsf, fstf scrns n crnnlf spnrntunlf. )hnnr n fnptflf n nnflufnflf nlf cflun mnn ndfprtnt trfcut, dfsprf cnrf df f,fmplu nu put dn nncn u nnfurmnnf stflflf. "utun rmnf pfntru prfzncfrfn !nnturulun unflf lucrurn cnrf nu put fn tnutf, dnn cnuzn c ncfstfn nu df-n fncf cu pruprnn !unn lnnfr n fnfcrunn. Ncfstf crn spnrntunlf - n rfnlntntf nu sunt nntf crn, cn dunr furmf df fnfrgnf, cnrf put fn cntntf df cfl cnrf durftf - plutfsc prnn tuntf sffrflf spnrntunlf. *nr dunr n cfn mnn nnlt sffr fstf cumplft nnfurmnnn. 0n sffrn nstrnl f,nst dunr frngmfntf. )unutnnf n ndf!rurn nnltf n spnrntunlf nu sf put gsn nculu. 0n ncfn sffr sf put ntlnn df f,fmplu muln dfcfdnn, cnrf nu nu rfunt s urcf ntr-u sffr mnn nnlt. *urnnflf n pntnmnlf lur, df cnrf nu scnp nncn nculu, gndnrfn lur mntfrnnl n crfdnnn lur slnn n mpnfdnc. %ffrn nstrnl fstf nc lucul df unc n multur spnrntf nfcurntf n rflf, n chnnr n mn urntntfn unmfnnlur sf mnc nunptf prnn ncfn sffr. ) df multf urn nu nfsf nnmnc nntflngfnt dnn tuntf ncfstfn, tf pun gndn tu cu sngurnn. *nr multf cumnrf n nu nncn rdcnnnlf, ccn dfsfurn sf ntmpl lucrurn grunznncf n ncfnst sffr spnrntunl cfn mnn uns. n ncfstf lucrurn n crnufsc drumul n cuntnfnt sun furm df cumnrf. 0n ncfnst sffr sf unt mn urntntfn dnn !zturnn !utrn. Fn sfnmn cu nntf unmfnn cnrf nu !d dfluc nnnf, cnrf nu punrt uchflnrn n ncfnrc, s dfscrnf un pfnsn ntnns. &umnn n tufnurnlf dnn fn lf mnn put !fdfn, puntf c n cunturul munnnlur. *nr nncnudnt mnnunntflf pdurn n munnn frumun, flurnlf n nnnmflflf n fundnl. Fn unsfr! dunr frnturn n crfd c nu !zut tutul. Fn nccfpt tutul, fr s fnf n stnrf, s rfcununsc cf fstf ndf!r snu mnncnun. Fn crfd c tutul fstf ndf!rnt, dnn cffn cf !d. Nndncnn pf plnn mntfrnnl snu pfrsunnl sf put gsn ctf!n. n ctf!n fnptf cf sf !ur ntmpln. Muln !zturn nu succfs, dnr rnrfurn ntuncn, cnd fstf !urnn df lucrurn spnrntunlf. *unr frnturn sf put ndugn. &f 7rnstus snu pf ngfrnn %n nu n !n gsn nnmfnn nncn . Nprunpf n tuntf fdnnflf spnrntunlf sf ntmpl n ncfnst sffr. *uhurn unsf, n pnrtf n spnrntf rflf snu nn znsf duhurn mnncnnunsf, cnrf sf nucur rfgftf, ntuncn cnd cnnf!n n crfdf, sf dnu dfsfurn cn fnnnd spnrntf nnltf, snu chnnr ngfrn mrfn. Nnnfnflfs, sf mnn gsfsc n ctf!n ndf!rurn, ccn u nnumnt cunutnn pusfd n fn, n fn put, dnc fstf !urnn df cfn dfcfdnn, s spun lucrurn unmntunrf dnn trfcut. *unr - sunrflf nu l-nu !zut fn. Fn trfnunf s sf mulumfnsc cu ntunfrncul snu cu dunr punn lumnn. n prnn ncfnstn df!nnf !zul un uc df rulft. &f lng ncfnstn fstf ncfst ffl df spnrntnsm pfrnculus. )fn mnn muln lucrfnz fr scut spnrntunl. *nr un mfdnu trfnunf s sf dfschnd cu tutul, pfntru n stnnnln un cuntncut cu sffrn spnrntunl, fl sf d pur n snmplu pf mnn putfrnn ntunfcntf. )n nu pltnt ncfst lucru cu .!nnn/. *uhul lur s-n ntunfcnt, n fn nu !fgftnt n cflf mnn srncf cundnnn, df multf urn n cmnnf psnhntrncf. *nr nu dunr n sumn snu cn mfdnu sf puntf n ungf ln sffrflf spnrntunlf. )fl mnn nun drum fstf mfdntnnn. 0n mfdntnnf sf put nchndf snmurnlf n fnn lumnn. Mfdntnnn ndnc sf nsfnmn n f,tfrnur cu sumnul, dnr cuntnnnn nu fstf nchns. Mfdntnnn nu fstf pur n snmplu u fdfrf, nn cum sf spunf dfsfurn. Mfdntnnn nu fstf nnmnc pnsn!, cn un lucru nctn!, u pnrf nctn! sprf *umnfzfu, cnrf fstf dunr ntuncn pusnnnl, dnc snmurnlf f,tfrnunrf sf rftrng dnn lumfn f,tfrnunr. )nd urfchfn f,tfrnunr nu mnn nudf nnmnc, ntuncn sf puntf dfz!ultn urfchfn nntfrnunr, tut nn sf puntf ntmpln cu uchnul tu nntfrnur n cu snmul tu pfntru !nnrnnnlf lumnn spnrntunlf. "u tf ntrfnn df n df ln ncfput, df cf n f,plnc fu tuntf ncfstfn. Nnt, mfdntnnn fstf drumul tu. "u nn n uns df n funrtf dfpnrtf. "u n-nn n!nns sfntnmfntflf, nn n!nt rndnrfn, drngustfn n umnlnnn. "u n-nn tfrmnnnt cu nnnf tnmpul df n!nrf, ncum sf tfrmnn n nnnn tn df ucfnncnf. Fu !rfnu s tf n! ncum, cum pun s n ungn prnn mfdntnnf ln sffrflf spnrntunlf n cum pun lucrn spnrntunl. )cn n clnpn df fn nu ftn nc n stnrf, s mfrgn snngur drumul pn ln mnnf. %-n ndrfpn gndurnlf sprf *umnfzfu n sprf mnnf, ncfst lucru ftn unnnunt s-l fncn. *nr cffn cf tu nc nu tnn, su cf nu nn !rut s crfzn cu ndf!rnt- tutul, cf n nmngnnfzn, fstf ndf!rnt! )u ct mnn mult tf gndftn, cu ct mnn mult f,frsfzn, cu ct mnn nntfsn! n nmngnnfzn, cu ntt mnn ndf!rnt n mnn ffncnfnt fstf ncfst lucru. Fstf un cnpntul mnrf. Fu !rfnu s ncfrc, s-n f,plnc nf cf fstf cfl mnn nmpurtnnt. 4 $n ncfput frn )u!ntul n )u!ntul frn ln *umnfzfu n *umnfzfu frn )u!ntul. Ncfstn frn ntru ncfput ln *umnfzfu. "untf prnn Fl s-nu fcut# n fr Fl nnmnc nu s-n fcut dnn cf s-n fcut. Nntru Fl frn !nn n !nnn frn lumnnn unmfnnlur. 'nul dnntrf cfn mnn mnrn mnstncn, Nunn F!nnghflnstul, ncfpf nstffl F!nnghflnn sn. n nsfmnrn sf gsfsc ln cflf mnn multf rflngnn n scrnpturnlf lur sfnntf. "rducturnn !utrn nn Nnnlfn nu sf put ns ntr-ndf!r mulumn cu cffn, cf fn cntfsc. Nununfn )u!nt - lugus, cum sf numftf fn n grfnc - n

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fust schnmnnt n sfns. Ncfnstn nr fn un snnunnm pfntru 7rnstus! )n du!nd pfntru ncfst lucru fstf prupuznnn, cnrf st scrns ctf!n rndurn mnn us- n )u!ntul s-n fcut trup n s-n sllunt ntrf nun. Nnnfnflfs c nncn fstf !urnn dfsprf 7rnstus, dnr dnn ncfnst cnuz 7rnstus nu fstf )u!ntul. "rfnunf numnn s sf mfnrg nnpun ln tf,tul grfcfsc dnn ncfputurn. Nunn n-n scrns dunr F!nnghflnn sn n Grfcnn pfntru flf!nn sn grfcn, n cnnf nr !fnn ntr-ndf!r pf ndffn, c ntuncn cnd fl scrnf un tf,t df n!tur, s fulusfnsc prnntrf, cn !nrnnnf pfntru 7rnstus, nununfn )u!ntul( Ncfnstn tutun n-u puntf nnmfnn prfsupunf n sfrnus! Nu! Grfcfscul lugus, pf cnrf l fulusftf Nunn nncn, nrf, cf-n drfpt, n sfmnnfncnnn df )u!ntul, nntfrprftnrfn lun df nnz fstf ns putfrfn gndurnlur! Numnn c grfcnn nu fust n ncfnst prn!nn cf!n mnn dfpnrtf dfct umul mudfrn, culturnznt. Fn tnnu c gndurnlf n cu!nntflf npnrnn strns lnulnlt. )u!ntul fstf ntr-ndf!r numnn fncfrfn nuznt n gndulun. 0n cffn cf prn!ftf rfnlntntfn lun, nu sf schnmn nnsulut nnmnc! Nunn !rfn dfcn s spun- putfrfn gndurnlur fstf tutul! Fn sf nfl ln ncfput, n fr fn n-nr fn nnmnc! "untf lf-n fcut *umnfzfu numnn prnn putfrfn %n n gndurnlur! n n Nnsus 7rnstus n df!fnnt !nznnnl ncfnst putfrf pfntru nun- n )u!ntul s-n fcut trup. Ncfnstn nu nsfnmn ns nnmnc nltcf!n, dfct c nun tun, tunt fpturn lun *umnfzfu, suntfm numnn gndurnlf %nlf. Fl nf-n gndnt numnn pf nun, n cu tuntf nstfn suntfm nun tutun rfnlntntf. Ncfnstn fstf ntrndf!r n n!turn n nprunpf tuntf rflngnnlf, n n nnsfrncnn crftnnf. n ncfpnd df nncn, nncn nu fstf funrtf grfu, s gsftn cnlfn cfn curfct! Nntrf gndurnlf lun *umnfzfu n gndurnlf unun ngfr snu um nu f,nst nncn u dnffrfn sfmnnfncntn!! Numnn ncffn, c gndurnlf lun *umnfzfu sunt nfmrgnnnt df mult mnn putfrnncf dfct cflf nlf mflf snu nlf tnlf. &rnn ncfnstn put flf ntr-ndf!r s n nfptunnsc cu nn df mult mnn mult, .s mplnnfnsc/. n, n cuntrnrnul ncfstun fnpt, !n putfn n un um slnn cu gndurnlf snlf slnnf s nfptunnsc numnn punn. Ncfnstn nsfnmn ns n fnptul c, cu ct mnn mult n nculfzn duhul tu, cu ct mnn tnrf df!nnf duhul tu, cu ntt mnn mult !fn putfn tu nfptun. n ntuncn n!fm df n cf nf-nm prupus! Nu rmnf dfcn nnmnc nltcf!n df fcut, dfct s nntrfnfzn duhul n s-l ntrftn. Ndf!rntf schnmnrn, !nlurn cnrf rmn put fn numnn prnn duh crfntf. "unt mntfrnn fstf trfctunrf, ncfst fnpt n fstf tutun fnfcrunn zn df zn ndus n fnn uchnlur! Nu-n !n fn nf prfn grfu, pfntru c tu ftn funrtf nnnf prfgtnt! &rfnn ln tnnf fnfrgnf n rugcnunf, lns-u pf ncfnstn s curg n gndurnlf tnlf n gndftf-tf ntuncn nntfnsn! ln cffn, cf trfnunf s df!nn rfnlntntf. *nc tu !rfn s n ungn ln mnnf, ntuncn nmngnnfnz-n nntfnsn! pfrsunnn mfn n ncfnst mprf urnmf, nn df lnmpfdf, pn cf !n df!fnn ncfnstn rfnlntntf. n ntuncn ftn tu nncn! Nu cu trupul tu nnnfnflfs. *f ncfln nu fstf nnmfnn nntfrfsnt. "u, ncfstn fstf duhul tu! Fu nm spus udnt- Nun mnn n!fm nf!unf df tnnf. "u nu n-nn putut f,plncn pn ncum ncfst lucru. tnn tu ncum ncfnstn( Ncun tf !un n!n n nstn. Nnsus 7rnstus s tf rfnn n mnlustn!nrfn $un, f nnnf nstn n f,frsfnz hnrnnc n !nnu ncun nnrn. Nstn n fust nprunpf prfn mult dnntr-u dnt. &f mnnf m durfn cnpul. Fu nm n!ut nf!unf df ctf!n znlf, pnn cf nm prflucrnt n nm nflfs tutul. &n dn, dfstul tnmp nm n!ut fu ntr-ndf!r. n n mfrs mnn nnnf, dfct m-nm gndnt fu. Fu fusfsfm dunr df n df mult tnmp unnnunt .s dfcunfctfz/. *nc fu nu !runnm, pur n snmplu nu ngnm nnmnc df sfnm dfsprf cffn, cf sf ntmpln n urul mfu. &fntru mfdnul ncun urtur nl mfu sf nrtn sntunnn nn, df pnrc n durmn, n fl m lsn n pncf. Nncn nu sf mnrn df ncffn nnmfnn, c fu .durmfnm/ dnntr-u dnt u umtntf df zn, frnu dunr numnn funrtf punnn, cnrf sf purtnu cu mnnf nurmnl. Fu !rfnu s spun cu ncfst lucru, c numnn punnn n rflnnn cu mnnf rfncnunnu ntr-un mud tut nn df nnturnl, cn n cum nr n!fn un um sntus n fnn lur. )fn mnn muln sf gndfsc ntutdfnunn, dfunrfcf nu fn un hnndncnpnt n fnn lur, c nr trfnun s fnf pfstf msur df ntfnn, s sf gndfnsc ln tuntf funrtf f,nct, dnn cffn cf fn fnc n spun. *nr ncfnstn nu fstf un lucru nnturnl, n un hnndncnpt !rfn s fnf trntnt tut nn df nurmnl, cn n fnfcnrf nltul. Fl unsfr! fnfcnrf nfsngurnn, fnfcnrf fzntnrf, fnfcnrf nchndfrf n uchnlur n rndncrf dnn umfrn. Fstf df nsfmfnfn u frunrf s crfzn, c un surdu-mut n-nr rfmnrcn nnmnc, numnn pfntru c fl nu puntf nuzn nnmnc. %nu un hnndncnpnt mnntnl, pfntru c fl dunr nu puntf gndn lnmpfdf. Ncfnstn puntf fn, dnr s snmt put tun - n nnumf cfl mnn ndfsfn mult mnn nnnf dfct unul sntus! n fl unsfr! cu ndf!rnt ntr-ndf!r, dnc sf !urnftf nurmnl dfsprf fl snu dnsprfuntur snu cumptnmntur. n fncf nnnf, s fnn trntnt nurmnl. Nndnr, n urncf cnz nu sf cunturnn nnmfnn df nstn. Nstffl putfnm fu s mfdntfz urf ntrfgn. Nncn nu mn-n fust grfu, s m cuncfntrfz un tnmp punn mnn ndflungnt, cu ncfst lucru nm fust fu df n ntr-ndf!r ntutdfnunn unnnunt. Fu mn-nm ndrfptnt gndurnlf nsuprn lun Mnchnfl, ncfrcnm s mn-l nchnpun nntfnsn!. *nc putfnm pn ncum s snmt df n ndfsfn n .stnrfn nurmnl/ prfzfnn lun, ntuncn fu cptnm cu fnfcnrf mfdntnnf mnn nprufundnt un cuntnct mnn strns cu fl. Fu putfnm snmn, cum fl n punfn mnn sn pf nrnul mfu, putfnm s-l nud, ctfudnt df n s n !urnfsc cu fl. Fl m ncurn n tut tnmpul nnrn n m ntrfn. Fl frn tutdfnunn df fn, cnd n!fnm nf!unf df fl. Nntr-ndf!r, n durnt mult tnmp, n prugrfsflf mflf frnu mncn, ns flf frnu cunstnntf. n pfntru n f,frsn n rndnrf, n!usfsfm fu dunr df n dfstul tnmp. Nntr-u zn mn-n spus Mnchnfl- Gndftf-tf tutun u dnt ln mnmn tn, dnr rung-tf mnn ntn. Mnmn m !nzntn fnfcnrf n trfnn sptmn, pfntru c drumul ncuncf durn funrtf mult, n dfunrfcf mnmn nu n!fn mnnn, frn n funrtf cumplncnt cu trfnul n nutunuzul n ultnmn pnrtf pf us. Frn ntutdfnunn frumus, cnd fn frn nncn. Fu u nunfnm, n fn m nccfptnsf ntrf tnmp. Nu frn ntr-ndf!r nc u drngustf ndf!rnt, dnr frn prnftfnnf. 0n ultnmul sfrnt df sptmn n fust fn nncn, n !fnnt cn ntutdfnunn n tnmpul dup-nmnfznn, n mncnt cu mnnf, mn-n cntnt cf!n, mn-n pu!fstnt dfsprf frnnn mfn, pn cf n plfcnt ntuncn sfnrn nnrn ncns. Fu m gndfnm df fnpt ndfsfn ln mnmn, dnr nncnudnt nu mn-n !fnnt n gnd, s u nnclud n pf fn n mfdntnnf. Fu nncn nu tnnm nn df lmurnt, df cf trfnunf s m rug nnnntf df nstn. *nr m-nm unnnunt cu fnptul df n

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urmn nndncnnnlf lun Mnchnfl n nu mn s-n ntmplnt nncnudnt s nu rfufsc. Nstffl nm fcut n df ncfnst dnt, cffn cf fl m sftunsf. Frn !nnfrn dup-nmnnz. Fu m-nm rugnt ndflung, n-nm mulumnt lun *umnfzfu pfntru drngustfn n n uturul, pf cnrf lf prnmfnm mfrfu n m-nm cufundnt ncun n mfdntnnf ndnc. Fu mn-u nchnpunnm ntfnsn! pf mnmn. +nnfrn ln nmnnz, ntuncn !fnfn fn tutdfnunn df!rfmf ncns df ln lucru, mn-n pu!fstnt fn. n ntuncn nm n !zut-u df n. *n, fu nu !nsnm, fu u !fdfnm ntr-ndf!r. Fn dfschnsf punrtn grdnnnn, mfrsfsf n us pf cnlfn scurt pnftrunt n dfschnsf punrtn cnsfn. Fu m ducfnm nlturn nprunpf df fn n m-nm nfznt lng fn pf cnnnpfnun !fchf. Fn trfnunf s fn fust funrtf unusnt, n urncf cnz ndurmnsf fn ncun. Fu nm ncfput s .!urnfsc/ cu fn, ntuncn s-n ntmplnt cf!n cnudnt. 'n .cf!n/ cn un nur df cfn s-n dfsprnt df trupul fn n plutfn n fnn mfn n ncpfrf, prnntr-u sfunr funrtf sunnrf n nrgnntnf lfgnt df trupul fn. Ncfl .cf!n/ n!fn npru,nmntn! nfnnrfn curpulun fn, punn mnn mnrf puntf n nn df gnngn n trnnspnrfnt cn un !l df mtnsf. 'n tnmp scurt nm mnn rmns fu ln fn n putfnm s dnnlughfz cu duhul fn. Ntuncn nm fust fu dnntr-u dnt nnrn n trupul mfu, trfnunn nnrn s m sunurdunfz lnmntrnn lun. *nr fu frnm ffrncnt. &fntru prnmn dnt nm putut s m dfspnrt cuntnfnt df trupul mfu# cf-n drfpt, numnn pfntru un tnmp scurt, dnr nstn nu fcfn nnmnc. Fu tnnm, c nznutnsfm ncfputul. *f n n znun urmtunrf m-n !nzntnt mnmn. Fn n fcusf nn df multf grn n pfntru mnnf. Fn !nsnsf dfsprf mnnf"u tf-nn dus cu mnnf ln plnmnnrf. Nun nm dnscutnt cn duu prnftfnf dfsprf mud n hnnnf n nltf lucrurn nfnmpurtnntf. Nun nf-nm dus n sus pf un drum nnrupt, pnftrus prnntr-u pdurncf mnc dnn pumn cnudnn. Nsfmfnfn pumn fu nu mnn !zusfm nncnudnt. Fn frnu plnnn df strugurn fructf mncn, df un ruu dfschns, cnrf nrtnu cn scuruflf. Fructflf frnu funrtf frumunsf n unnfurmf, n pf fnfcnrf dnntrf flf, cu tuntf c frnu nn df mncn, frn scrns numflf tu n lntfrf nurnn- Nnrnnrn. 2nmurnlf df us frnu prnn grfutntfn lur nduntf ndnc sprf pmnt, nn nct nun putfnm s n ungfm uur ln flf. $n u mlntnn mnc nm pupusnt nun ntuncn n nm mncnt dnn fructflf tnlf. Flf frnu dulcn ln gust n nu n!fnu nncn u pnntr n nncn smnurf. )nd nn !fnnt tu, nu mn-n mfrs funrtf nnnf. Fu frnm unusnt n n punn nulnn! n m ustfnfnm, s nn pnsul cu tnnf. *f-nnnn tfrmnnnsfm fu ns df mncnt dnn fructf, c nm snmnt, cum u mnrf putfrf sf scurgfn n mnnf. Fu nm df!fnnt dnntr-u dnt funrtf uunr, nprunpf nnpundfrnnnl. *nntr-u dnt s-n npustnt un run mnrf df cuufnnf nfgrf nsuprn nunstr n nsuprn pdurncfn, pfntru n mncn fructflf tnlf. Fu nm df!fnnt funrtf nspmntnt, dnr tu tf-nn rugnt pur n snmplu. n ncfnst rugcnunf s-n pus pfstf nun prutfctunrf cn un cluput. Ntuncn nu !fnnt df ln cfr dun !ulturn mrfn, n cu znnfrfturn urtf nu fugnt cuufnnflf df fn. 'nul dnntrf !ulturn n znurnt dnrfct nsprf tnnf, tf-n cuprnns nlnd cu ghfnrflf snlf n tf-n lunt cu fl. "u nn zmnnt ntr-ndf!r n mn-nn fcut nc sfmn cu mnn, dnr fu nu tnnm, dnc nf nu n s-n ntmplnt tutun cf!n. Fu m tfmfnm, c ncfnstn nr putfn nsfmnn nfnurucnrf, df ncffn nm !fnnt fu nmfdnnt nstzn ln tnnf. "cut nm zmnnt fu n snnfmn. Multf !nsf nu nns ln n!fnl dnn suncuntnfnt, mn-n spus Mnchnfl. +nsul n fust u pu!fstf. )unnnutul !nsulun, ncfnstn n fust rfnlntntfn, pf cnrf n culurnt-u suncuntnfntul dunr cu nmngnnn. Frn u frumuns dup- nmnnz df smnt. Mnmn frn funrtf lnnntnt, lumnnnt nntfns df u pncf nntfrnunr. n fn frn sntuns. Mult tnmp nm mnn rmns fu trfnz dup lunrfn df rmns nun df ln fn n nm cugftnt. )um s-n fcut mnmn sntuns( *f undf !fnnsf putfrfn, cnrf n ptruns-u nntfns( ' prfsnmnrf tcut mn-n df!fnnt ncft cuntnfnt. Fu nm !nsnt n ncfnst nunptf dfsprf ffrncnrf n pncf. Fu frnm u pnsrf mnc, uunr n lnnfr, fr grn n. n nstffl m-nm n snmnt fu. 3 *umnncn frn nnsfrncn nfnt dnn cumun df frumus mpudunnt. Frnu rusnlnnlf. %lu nn dn!nn frn funrtf sulfmn. )fn muln mnnnstrnnn, tmnnu, curul nnsfrncfsc cntn u slu n n lntnn. Frn u uscnlnnf npnrtf n nnsfrnc. 2usnlnnlf n-nu fust numnn u dnt pf tnmpul npustulnlur, mn spusf Mnchnfl. Fnfcnrf nn sf rf!nrs duhul lun *umnfzfu dnn nuu pfstf ncfnn, cnrf sunt dnspun, s-l prnmfnsc. Fnfcnrf prfn c snmtf spfcnfncul ncfstfn znlf. $nnntf n pncf frn nculu - n putfrf. &utfrfn unun *umnfzfu nunntur, )nrf u rf!nrs cuntnnuu nsuprn cupnnlur %n n cfrtutudnnfn sngur, c cnd!n n ultnmul !n fn dnspus n n stnrf, s prnmfnsc drngustfn $un. )n df unncfn, fdfnm fu n fn df tut n drfnptn, n fnn prnmflur nncn, n scnunul mfu df nn!nlnd. Fu m lsnm dus df uscnlnnf n df putfrf n m-nm cufundnt n mfsn ul nfnrnn zugr!ntf df dfnsuprn mfn- Nnsus l n!nf pf $nzr dnn murn. Mnchnfl mn-n f,plncnt df n u dnt nsfmntntfn ncfstfnn. $nzr n fust prnmul. )nd!n n !n fn n!nnt Nnsus pf tun cfn .murn spnrntunl/, n !n flnnfrn df durnnflf n lcumnnlf lur mntfrnnlf. Fl n !n flnnfrn dnn dfprtnrfn lur fn *umnfzfu, dnn mputmulnrnlf lur n mntfrnf n df tuntf suffrnnflf, cnrf s-nu furmnt prnn cdfrfn df ln *umnfzfu - munrtfn duhu!nncfnsc. Fl n !n n!nn ln u !nn nuu, ln u !nn n urdnnfn *umnfzfnnsc, ln u !nn, cnrf fstf purtnt df cflf nptf nsunrn nlf lun *umnfzfu- drngustf, !unn, rndnrf, sfrnuzntntf, urdnnf, mnlustn!nrf n nflfpcnunf. Ncfnstn fstf n!nfrfn dnn murn, nnumf dnn murnn spnrntunln. "rupul fstf fr !nlunrf, numnn duhul fstf ncfln, cnrf trnftf. Fu m-nm pnfrdut n prn!nrfn ln nfnnrfn zugr!nt. )ulurnlf nu df!fnnt mnn lumnnunsf, mnn !nn, pftfrn df murmnt trnst n cfdnt n fn!urfn unun lnn nlnd df culnnf, pumn n flurn nu nprut n Nnsus mfrgfn nsprf mnnf. Nu nu frn Nnsus, frn Mnchnfl! Fu rfunsfm! *nn pruprnn putfrf! Mnchnfl s-n untnt ln mnnf. Nu, fnrftf cn nu dnn pruprnn putfrf! Nprunpf n fn df!fnnt fu nnrn ncrfzut. Frn putfrfn lun *umnfzfu, cnrf m purtnsf. Fu trfnunn numnn s cuprnnd frnghnn, pf cnrf Fl u nrunc nuu tut mfrfu, n s m lns trns n sus. *nr pfntru prnmn dnt rfunsfm, s cuprnnd ncfnst frnghnf fr n utur strnn. *rngustfn n smfrfnnn m curnsfr nn df mult, m

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flnnfrnsfr df nnlnst, cnrf nf nchndf nuu n mud nurmnl cnlfn. Fu frnm pfstf msur df ffrncnt. Frn pfntru mnnf, df pnrc n fn pfntru prnmn dnt ntr-ndf!r nncn. Mnchnfl n pnt ln mnnf. Mulumfsc! Fu n mulumfsc nf. 0ncurcnt m-nm untnt n sus ln fl. *n, fu n mulumfsc nf, c n-nn nsunt n!turnlf mflf, c nn fust un nsfmfnfn flf! nsculttur. )t df dfs suntfm nun rfspnnn, lunn n rs! Nngfrn( Ncftnn sunt tutun numnn n pu!fstf! )t df dfs fstf ustfnfnln nunstr zndnrnnc, ct df dfs sunt rfspnnsf ndrumrnlf nunstrf pur n snmplu n !nt! 0n cfl mnn nun cnz suntfm nun nunn pfntru fnptul, df n prf!fnn nccndfntf n s-n pznm pf unmfnn df .lu!nturn nlf dfstnnulun/. *nr ndrumnrf duhu!nncfnsc( Nu, df ncfnstn nu mnn nu nf!unf unmfnnn nstzn. Fn nu df!fnnt nsfnnnnn n rnnunnln. Fn dumnnnu nnturn n tfhnncn. Fn putfnu chnnr s znunrf pf lun. n ntuncn s sf lnsf cundun cn nntf cupnn mncn( Ncfst lucru nu l puntf cfrf nnmfnn ntr-ndf!r. *f nfmrgnnnt mult rndnrf n drngustfn fstf nf!unf, pfntru cn nnn ntrfgn, dn, puntf u !nn ntrfng, c s lucrn n .zndnr/, s rd pf sfnmn tn n s df!nn u fngurnn dnn pu!ftn. *nr n nuu nf mfrgf cn n !uu pf pmnt. )hnnr n cfn mnn mnc ln!nn df!nnf udnt mnrf. 'dnt !n crftf cffn cf sf sfnmn. 0ntr-u nun zn df!nnf smnn plnnt. )nd, ncfst lucru nu dfpnndf df nun. $n ncfst lucru fu nncn nu m-nm gndnt. Nun dnspfrm df n dup scurt tnmp, ntuncn cnd nu sf !fdf succfsul durnt. )f mrfnf trfnunf s f,nstf ntuncn cnd lucrfzn zfcn df nnn, dn, puntf u !nn ntrfng df um, fr succfsul f!ndfnt( Fr n pnfrdf !rfudnt rndnrfn, fr n pnfrdf drngustfn( 'h ct df stupnzn sunt tutun unmfnnn! "u nu trfnunf s dnspfrn, n nntrnt Mnchnfl n gndurnlf mflf. &f pmnt fstf cu mult mnn grfu. )fn mnn muln unmfnn sunt df prfrf, c !nnn sf sfrftf dup munrtf, n tnmp cf nun n!fm !fnncnn n fnn uchnlur. )hnnr n tnmpul nrf u nlt nsfmnnrf pfntru nun. *fsprf ncfst lucru !fn nflfgf n tu n curnd ctf cf!n. *fcn! *nr, ncum, unt-tf punn mprf ur! Fu nu putfnm unsfr!n cf!n dfusfnnt, frn tutul cn df unncfn. &untf c flurnlf nflurfnu cf!n mnn nntfnsn!, puntf c nnrnn n!fn un mnrus mnn tnrf, puntf c psrnlf cntnu mnn mnnunnt. *nr n rfst( Frn mnn mult lumnn dfct nlt dnt. *n nnnfnflfs, frn mnn lumnnnt! n ntuncn fu l-nm !zut. %us pf cfr sttfn sunrflf n mrnmfn sn mrfn. Frn mnn strlucntur dfct mnn df surn pmntftn, n tutun nm putut s m unt dnrfct ln fl dup scurt tnmp. Nu, fu nu m-nm f,prnmnt curfct! %ttfn pur n snmplu pnsn!, pfntru n fmnnn u lumnn, cnrf nu-n npnrnnfn. Nu! Fl frn lumnnn! Fl sf untn ln mnnf! M lumnnn pn n ndncurn - n frn tutun pfstf tut. *n,df ncum nnnntf !n strlucn ntutdfnunn pfntru tnnf. Fstf lumnnn df !fcn, fstf Nnsus 7rnstus, fstf sunrflf %u, cnrf pfntru tnnf nu !n mnn npunf. *nr cum sf puntf, c fu !d sunrflf pfstf tut, fu put s m nturc cum !rfnu, n urncnrf dnrfcnf, n sunrflf fstf tut tnmpul prfzfnt. Nun nm !urnnt df multf urn dfsprf ncfst lucru. 0n lumfn spnrntunl nu f,nst lucrurn, cnrf lf-n crfnt cnnf!n snu cnrf lf-n nfznt, cns, pum, mnnn, flurn snu nnnmnlf - dfunrfcf nu f,nst mntfrnf. &fntru lumfn spnrntunl nu f,nst nncn uchn. 'chnul spnrntunl fstf, chnnr suflftul. "u pun !fdfn dunr cffn, cf fstf n tnnf! Ncum nn tu lumnnn lun Nnsus 7rnstus, nn prnmnt n tnnf drngustfn %n, dfcn prnn urmnrf u pun !fdfn. *nr nnnfnflfs pfstf tut, ccn nu nrf un punct stnnnl pf .cfr/. Fstf n tnnf. n pfstf tut undf ftn tu, fstf n ncfst sunrf. )nnf!n cnrf r!nftf dunr ln lucrurnlf mntfrnnlf, cnrf trnftf dunr pfntru nnnn n pfntru sntnsfncfrfn snmurnlur trupftn, spnrntunlul ncflunn fstf gul. n fl !n putfn !fdfn n lumfn spnrntunl dunr stncn gunlf. Nncn nnrn, nncn u flunrf nu !n putfn !fdfn, dunr frngul n pustnul n gulul n ntunfrncul! )u ct mnn mult drngustfn strngf n fl, cu ntt mnn cnld n mnn prnftfnuns fstf .nnnmn/ sn, dfcn cu ntt mnn cnld n mnn prnftfnuns df!nnf mprf urnrfn sn. Nmprf urnrfn fstf df fnpt u uglnnd n suflftulun! Ncfnstn fstf df fnpt n chfnn sprf rfcununtfrfn .cfrulun n n nndulun/. *umnfzfu nu udfc nncnudnt! Nncnudnt! *rngustfn fstf ntr-ndf!r n stnrf, s nn pf cnnf!n dnn scurt, s trnmnt .lu!nturn df dfstnn/ snu ncfrcrn, dnc flf fulusfsc, s-l n utf s-n schnmnf prfrfn n dnc l n ut s mfnrg un pns mnn dfpnrtf pf drumul spnrntunl. *rngustf mnn fstf n ntuncn, dnc l lu!ftn pf un cupnl pf dfgftf, pfntru n-l scutn df ru, ntuncn cnd ncfnrc pfntru n 9-n unr, s trng df pf sun cnznnul cu np clucutnt. *nr drngustfn nu pfdfpsftf nncnudnt, n n nncn ntr-un cnz pf !fcn. Nu, fnfcnrf sf rspltftf snu sf udfc pf snnf. *rngustfn pf cnrf tu nn strns-u pf pmnt, dftfrmnn stnrfn mprf urrnlur, n cnrf tu tf !fn nfln n lumfn spnrntunl. *rngustfn tf !n cunducf n .cfr/. 'rn ns puntf, cum fstf cnzul n pf pmnt, dfcn n n lumfn spnrntunl, s pru!uncf dunr cfnrt n suffrnnf ntr-un pfnsn pustnu fr lumnn n cldur. Ncfstn fstf .nndul/, n n ncfst nnd sf nfl cnnf!n dunr nttn tnmp, ct npnrnnf fl df ncfstn cu gndurnlf snlf. *nc fl fstf df prfrf, c trfnunf s-$ urnsc pf *umnfzfu pf !fcn, ntuncn sf !n nfln fl pf !fcn n ncfnst stnrf, ndnc n ncfl .nnd/. *nr fl nu fstf nruncnt df *umnfzfu nculu, fstf pur n snmplu dfcnznn sn lnnfr! *nc fl sf schnmn n dnc sf ntunrcf n nntfrnurul su sprf drngustf, ntuncn sf !n schnmnn cunfurm lun pfnsn ul cnrf l ncun unr. Ncfnstn fstf lfgfn. n fn nu sf !n schnmnn nncnudnt, nttn tnmp ct !n f,nstn crfnnn. *nc cnnf!n, cnrf dup gndurnlf snlf nr trfnun s fnf n .nnd/, n fstf ndus n cfrurn, fl nu nr putfn supurtn ncfnstn. Fl nu nr putfn supurtn lumnnn, nr fn cfl mnn mnrf chnn pfntru fl, n fl s-nr nruncn n mnrf grnn nnpun n ntunfrnc. Fstf f,nct nn, cn n cum cnnf!n nr n!fn uchnn sfnsnnnln ln lumnn. Fl nu puntf supurtn lumnnn n sf snmtf nnnf dunr n sfmn-ntunfrnc. *nr cu ct mnn mult sf mnuntftf stnrfn sn , cu ntt mnn mult lumnn puntf supurtn fl. *nr !nnn u nu uchnn, n nu lumnnn! *f ncffn pun !fdfn tu ncum pfstf tut lumnnn lun Nnsus 7rnstus. "u nn n uns ncum nn df dfpnrtf, c pun ncfpf s lucrfzn spnrntunl, pun ncfpf s df!nn u unfnlt n lun *umnfzfu pf pmnt. "u tnn ncum, c tutul cf fstf, cf f,nst, n fust crfnt prnn gnd. )hnnr n pmntul n tut cf f,nst pf

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ncfstn. $n ncfput n fust cu!ntul, gndul, ndnc fnfrgnf curnt, n ncfnstn s-n ndfsnt nn df tnrf, ntt df .grfu/, cn n df!fnnt mntfrnf. &rnn gndurn sf put crfn tuntf, sf put schnmnn tuntf, snu sf put dnstrugf. Gndurnlf trfnunf s fnf dunr funrtf putfrnncf. Ncfn putfrf u prnmftn tu df ln *umnfzfu. *nr prutf fnz-tf, mnn nlfs ntuncn, cnd n prsftn curpul. &n ncum nu fcut nlnn ncfst lucru. Ncum ns trfnunf s-u fncn snngur. &utfrnlf rflf stnu tut tnmpul ln pnd, n ntuncn cnd n nrn !ulnfrnnnlntntf, lu!fsc ntutdfnunn. &rutf fnz-tf df duu urn, n prnmul rnd prnn rugcnunf, dfunrfcf !nnrnnnlf sf nfnz cn un cluput n urul tu. 0n nl dunlfn rnd- gndftf-tf ln u crucf df lumnn, cnrf st n tnnf, cnrf fstf n curpul tu n cnrf strlucftf pn n f,tfrnur. Gndftf-tf nntfnsn! ln ncfnstn, n fn df!nnf ndf!r n lumfn spnrntunl. F-u dnn lumnn clnr n strlucntunrf. Gndftf-tf c rnzflf cnrf fmnn ncfn crucf, nlung tut cf fstf ru n nfgntn!, dnr ln tut cf fstf nun n puzntn! n crunftf drum sprf tnnf. Ncfn lumnn n-u puntf supurtn nncn un spnrnt ru. *fcn ncfnstn n fust, ln cf s-n rfffrnt fl cu cu!nntflf- Nun mnn n!fm nf!unf df tnnf. *fz!ultnrfn mfn frn df n dfstul df n!nnsnt, ncum n!fnm !unf s n ut pf nlnn. Fu frnm nucuruns, ffrncnt n mulumnt. Mnchnfl m-n mnrnnt. Ncum du-tf n drngustfn lun *umnfzfu, fu sunt mfrfu nlturn df tnnf. Gus df tut nm unsfr!nt fu curpul mfu. Fu plutfnm sun nultn ncpfrnn nltnrulun n sn!urnm uurnnn spnrntulun. Muzncn, rugcnunfn, tutul prfn mnn rfnl, mult mnn !nu. Nncn u durfrf, nncn u grn , nncn un trup .grfu/ nu dfrnn n duhul. Fu nm fzntnt, n dfudnt nm tnut, df cf nu n-n fust dnt fnfcrunn ncfst dnr, df cf n mud nurmnl trfnunf luptnt pfntru ncfnstn. )fn mnn muln nu s-nr ntunrcf nnpun! Fn nu nr schnmnn lnrgul n frumusffn spnrntulun cu strmtunrfn n cu suffrnnflf curpulun. *nr dnc nu mnn !ur s sf rfntunrc, sf rupf cnd!n ncfn frnghnf, cnrf mprfunfnz curpul cu duhul. &rnn ncfnstn munrf trupul, n fn nu mnn nu pusnnnlntntfn, s sf dfz!ultf n cuntnnunrf n s trnnsc, cffn, cf fstf cfl mnn nmpurtnnt, n stnrfn cnrf sf nfl fn. Ntuncn cnd fu mnm nflnt dnn nuu n curpul mfu, m-n lu!nt durfrfn dnn plnn. N durnt u !rfmf, pn cnd fu nm ncfput s-u stpnfsc. %lu nn nu s-n tfrmnnnt nc, n ncfnstn nsfmnn, c fu nm .lnpsnt/ cfl mult u umtntf df ur, dnr dup snmurnlf mflf, nm pftrfcurt nlturn df Mnchnfl mnn multf urf. *fcn ncfnstn frn dnffrfnn dnntrf tnmp. Nncftul cu ncftul nm ncfput s nflfg. ' stnrf df ffrncnrf s-n rspndnt n mnnf, nn cum fu nu nm mnn cunuscut-u. Fu nm prnmnt pusnnnlntntfn, s nntru n cuntnct cu lumfn dumnfzfnnsc, n fu nm ncfput, s nunfsc curpul mfu dffurmnt. Fl mn-n uffrnt ncfnst nns. Fr fl nu n fn gsnt cu nttn uurnn ncfst drum. 5 $n mnsn df nmnnz m-n hrnnt Frfd. Frn un nnnt nun, df uptsprzfcf nnn, dnr cu mnntfn unun cupnl df nsf nnn. Frn surdu-mut, n pncnunrflf snlf frnu nfpfnntf, dnr fl frn tut tnmpul prnftfnus, dn puntf c n cumnc. 'nul, cnrf nncnudnt nu sf plngfn. Fl sf ucupn dfsfurn df mnnf, fu frnm cu ntutfnunn cu drng n cumpnnnn sn. &f fl nu-l cunducfnu umnrflf. *fudnt n dnsprut nmngnnfn lun dnn fnn uchnnlur mfn. 'n rfgf sttfn n fnn mfn. Fl fdfn pf un trun df nur, ncun urnt df lnngunturnn, cnrf l !fnfrnu. %nln frn ct sf puntf df frumus nrnn nt. ' mns ffstn! frn nrnn nt, n sfr!nt, tutul frn mnnunnt. Nmngnnnlf sf schnmnnu rfpfdf. Fl prfn s fnf un rfgf ntrn nflfpt n drfpt, tun, cnrf n cfrfnu sfntul, prfnu s fnf mulumnn. Fl trfnunn s fn fust n funrtf dnrnnc, dfunrfcf ntr-u ncpfrf mnrf ln sf ddfn df mncnrf srncnlur n fn prnmfnu hnnnf n nltf lucrurn nmpurtnntf. Fu l !fdfnm cum sf rugn n l !fdfnm mfrgnd ln nnsfrnc. Nnsfrncn frn mnnunnt. Fl sttfn n lu n sn df rfgf n prnmfn cu un zmnft mnlustn! tuntf snlutrnlf slu nturnlur sn. 2ugcnunfn ct n purtnrfn sn nntfrnunr frn .drfnpt/. Fl n utn nnsfrncn dup tuntf putfrnlf snlf n sf mplncn cu tunt fnnnn. *fudnt n nprut un nrnnt, cnrf n stnt nprunpf nf!zut n fundnl. Fl frn snmplu mnrcnt, chnpul su frn ncun urnt df lumnn. Fl n !urnnt- "u ftn un rfgf, pf plncul lun *umnfzfu, nflfpt, drfpt, rndtur n plnn df drngustf. "u nu tf-nn rftrns df ln grfu n nu nn pncnt prnd nspntflur, cnrf !nn u dnt cu putfrfn n cu nugnn. Ncum ftn prfgtnt s n!fn ultnmul n cfl mnn grfu lucru, umnlnnn. Nmngnnnlf n pnfrdfnu culurnlf, n Frfd sttfn dnn nuu n fnn mfn. Fl mn zmnfn n mn-n ngnt n gur u lnngur plnn df snlnt df cnrtufn. Fu putfnm !fdfn prnn fl, putfnm !fdfn spnrntul su n m-nm untnt ntrfntur sprf fl. Fl n dnt dnn cnp n n ncfput s zmnfnsc. Ncum tnnm df cf m snmfnm nn df nnnf n prfzfnn lun. Nun nf nsfmnnm funrtf tnrf n .dfstnnul/ pf cnrf l n!fnm. 3 'rmturul tnmp n trfcut rfpfdf. Fu m rugnm mult n m ndncfnm n mfdntnnf. Fu prnmfnm prnn ncfnstn nn df mult putfrf, c dfsfurn nu mnn snmfnm nncn un ffl df durfrf. Funrtf prfcns sf snmfn cum curgfn !nlul df fnfrgnf pfstf cnp n spntf. Frn, df pnrc n fn stnt ntr-un cnrcunt df curfnt. Mulumnrf, ffrncnrf n pncfn s-nu nnstnlnt, pfntru cn s nu m mnn prsfnsc n !fcn. Nprunpf nncnudnt! Fu putfnm snmn curfntul, cnrf curgfn n sus n n us prnn culunnn mfn !frtfnrnl. Fl sf furmn n rurn mnrn, pfntru n df!fnn cfntrf df putfrf n rfzfr!f df fnfrgnf. Fu m gndfnm ln u crucf dnn lumnn strlucntunrf, cnrf frn nlnmfntnt df ncfstf cfntrf. )um mn-n spus Mnchnfl, frn tut tnmpul nculu, cnd fu mn-u nmngnnnm. )u tuntf ncfstfn nm fust surprnns, cnd dup un tnmp nm putut ntr-ndf!r s !d ncfn crucf. *f n df mnn mult !rfmf nm unsfr!nt, c umnrflf cflurlnn, ntuncn

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cnd !fnfnu sprf mnnf, sf ddfnu nnpun cn n curfntnn n nu putfnu s sf nprupnf mnn tnrf df mnnf. Ncum !fdfnm, c ncfst lucru sf dnturn crucnn. 2nzflf fn mpnngfn umnrflf nnpun. Nn nm putut s mnn unsfr!, c muln cupnn df!fnfnu mnn lnnntnn n nprupnfrfn mfn. )hnnr n surflf, cnrf frnu .nfcumfstnnnlf/, df!fnfnu n nprupnfrfn mfn mult mnn pnnncf. )hnnr n ndmnnnstrntunrfn n rfunt n ultnmn !rfmf, s !urnfnsc cu mnnf snu s-mn ntunrc pngnnnlf crnn mflf. *n, prfn chnnr s-n fnc plcfrf, s stfn un tnmp n nprupnfrfn mfn. Ncum tnnm fu n df cf! 3 Nntr-u dnmnnfn n ncfput Nfn nmnn s fnc u crnz. Fl lu!fn cu cnpul fr ntrfrupfrf zndul, nprunpf c nncn nu putfnn s prn!ftn n ncfn dnrfcnf. Fl n!fn dfsfurn ncfstf crnzf. )urpul nu n frn dfluc dffurmnt n df multf urn prfn s fnf ct sf puntf df nurmnl. F!ndfnt frnu dunr uffrtflf snlf f,ngfrntf df n utur, n tnmp cf frn ntt df nfndfmnntnc, c fnfcnrf, dnc frn pusnnnl, rfnunn ln n uturul lun, n ncfst lucru l fcfn s fnf funrtf trnst. %nmurnlf snlf rfcfpnunnu df fnfcnrf dnt ncfnstn. *f n tut ln ctf!n znlf n!fn ncfstf crnzf. *f unncfn durnu u ur pnn ln duu urf n l unusfnu. *up ncffn sttfn urf n nr n suspnnn, dnr nu prfn s nnn durfrn mnrn. *f dntn ncfnstn frn cn un nnnmnl slnntnc. )n n mncn spnrndun sttfnu nfnumrntf umnrf pf cfnfn sn n l lu!fnu cu pumnn n l nnu. Nnmfnn nu putfn s-l lnnntfnsc, pn cnd dfudnt mn-n trfcut prnn mnntf u ndff. Fu nm nfznt n nntfrnurul lun u crucf df lumnn, mn-nm chnpunt-u ct sf puntf df nntfnsn! n nm nlnmfntnt-u cu gndurnlf mflf cu fnfrgnf. Fu putfnm !fdfn, cum df!fnfn dnn cf n cf mnn mrfn, pn cnd n strlucnt pfstf tut. 'mnrflf sf mputrn!fnu, m nmfnnnnu, dnr nu frnu dfstul df putfrnncf. *f nnnnu n-nu pnfrdut n ultnmul fchnlnnru, n Nfn nmnn n df!fnnt dnn nuu lnnntnt. Fl n fust unusnt n suspnnn ncft. &fntru prnmn unr nm df!fnnt cuntnfnt df putfrfn spnrntulun. n putfrfn, cnrf u n!fnu ncfstf fnnnf, ct n putfrfn pf cnrf u putfnm fulusn mputrn!n lur. 0n f,tfrnur nu n unsfr!nt nnmfnn nnmnc. F!ndfnt frn cfl mult fnptul, c crnzn lun Nfn nmnn s-n tfrmnnnt nn df rfpfdf. Fu nm fust nfschnmnnt n f,tfrnur. *nr m-n custnt mult putfrf. Fu frnm unusnt, n n durnt mnn multf urf, pn cnd nm fust n stnrf, s m umplu cu fnfrgnf prnn cnlfn mfdntnnfn. *f nnnn dup duu znlf mn-nm rf!fnnt cu tutul! &unn nfncfrfztunrf nm fust tutun, ntuncn cnd Mnchnfl mn-n pu!fstnt dfsprf luptn spnrntflur. Ncum ns nm trnt, ct df rfnl fstf ncfnst lupt, cu cf putfrf trfnunf ndus ln nun sfrnt. Fu n-nm mulumnt lun Mnchnfl, c mn-n dnt nmpulsul curfspunztur. Mnn lun prfn s sf pun cu tnndrff pf umrul mfu. Ncfstn n fust ncfputul, mn-n spus. )u tnmpul !fn n!n s lupn, fr s tf unusftn. *nr s nu df!n supfrfncnnl, s-n prn!ftn tut tnmpul n sfrnus! Fu m-nm nucurnt c frn nlturn df mnnf, n nn nm ndurmnt rfpfdf. Frn ntunfrnc n rfcf. &frfnn nfcnulun suntfrnn frnu umfzn. "rfn nrnnn nprunpf dfznrcnn frnu prnnn cu lnnurn df pfrftf. )hnpurnlf lur frnu plnnf df tfrunrf, unulnnnn n nltf ruztunrf lf-nu mncnt df n pncnunrflf. Npru,nmntn! dnn duu n duu sfcundf pncnu strupn df np pf cnpftflf lur dnntr-u fn! cunstrunt pfntru ncfst lucru. Fr ntrfrupfrf! Hnlf ntrfgn! %ptmnn ntrfgn! 'n nrnnt sttfn n fnn lur n zmnfn n dnrfcnn lur. "ut mfrgfn sprf runnnftul cu np, f!ndfnt n!nd nntfnnn s-l uprfnsc, pfntru n sf putfn nucurn dnn nuu, ln sclnpnrfn df spfrnn, cnrf n lumnnnt dnn uchnn fr f,prfsnf, pfntru n fn nlucunt dnn nuu df tfrunrf. *fudnt s-n nturs turnunnrul, nn cn fu s-n put !fdfn dnn plnn fnn. Fu nm znnfrnt df grunz. Frn Nfn nmnn! Mult tnmp n durnt n ncfn nunptf pn cnd fu nm ndurmnt dnn nuu. "ut tnmpul nu nprut dnn nuu ncfstf nmngnnn ngruzntunrf. *f cf( Fu nu putfnm s cfrcftfz ncfnstn n prufunznmf. Nncn un nnnnnl nu fstf cnpnnnl s chnnunf un nltul. Nncn mcnr pnsncn, cnrf sf unc cu unrfcflf, nu fncf ncfnstn dnn plcfrf, cn numnn dnn nnstnnct, pfntru c, cnrnfn fstf mnn dulcf ln gust dup ncffn. $n ncfnstn fstf unrfcflf ns nn df pnrnlnznt, c fl nu mnn snmtf nnmnc. )um puntf un um s nfptunnsc nn cf!n! )um puntf un um s sf nucurf df chnnurnlf nltunn! )f ffl df ndfprtnrf df ln *umnfzfu fstf nfcfsnr pfntru ncfst lucru! *nr *umnfzfu nu rfspnngf pf nnmfnn. Nncn pf ncftn unmfnn. )f ffl df mn luncf sunt nfcfsnrf, pfntru n dfschndf uchnn unur nsfmfnfn unmfnn, pfntru n lf fncf lnmpfdf grffnln fnptfn lur( % nprfcnfz ncfnstn, nu put! Numnn un snngur lucru l tnu sngur- Nu sunt nncnudnt pfdfpsf! )hnnr dnc n uchnn nftnuturn n nfncrfzturn nn lumnn nrnt ncfnstn nc funrtf mult nstffl. Nu sunt nncnudnt pfdfpsf, numnn ncurdrn df n utur, cnrf nrnt sprf dnrfcnn curfct, dnc cnnf!n fstf dnspus, s sf cunfurmfzf n s prfnn mfsn ul lur. Nstffl !rfn umul s sf fnc udfctur pfstf *umnfzfu. Fl sf snmtf nlfstfmnt snu cfl punn trntnt nfdrfpt n l n ur dnn cnuzn .pfdfpsfn/ grflf, pf cnrf n pus-u *umnfzfu nsuprn lun. $n ncfnstn numnn c nu fstf fl n stnrf, s !nd nuntntfn nfmrgnnnt n lun *umnfzfu, cnrf n fncf nstffl df-nnnn pusnnnl, s gsfnsc cnlfn curfct n tutun s-n pstrfzf !unnn lun lnnfr. Ncfnstn fstf mnrfn dnfncultntf. *nc n-nr fn !unnn lnnfr, ntuncn nr fn pfntru *umnfzfu un lucru uur, s-l nn pf ncfstn ln Fl ntr-u sfcund, fr suffrnn, fr chnn. *nr Fl nr fn dnstrus cu ncfnstn duhul su lnnfr pfntru tutdfnunn, nr fn fcut u fnnn lnnfr s df!nn un scln!. )nnf fstf n stnrf, s pfnsc pf cnlfn cfn ngust, cnrf ducf prnntrf dfcnznn lnnfr n !unnfn n nndmnsnnnln nnflufnnrf( )nnf puntf nprfcnn ncfnst drumfnf pf muchnf n cnnf puntf s fnc crntnc ln ndrfsn mn luncflur, pf cnrf *umnfzfu lf nng n lupt( *nc unul, crunn fu n ntnnd mnn, pfntru c n czut n np, nu !rfn s cuprnnd ncfnst mn dnn ngmfnrf, ntuncn fu tutun nu sunt df!nn, dnc fl sf lupt cu nnfcul. &fntru unul, cnrf plfnc dfpnrtf, puntf prunnnnl s pnr nn, df pnrc fu l-nm rfspnns. Numnn cfl cnrf st nprunpf puntf s mrturnsfnsc

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cuntrnrnul. *f cf nu-l crfdf nnmfnn( )upnlul puntf fn suprnt pf mnn, cnrf l trngf rfpfdf n dur dnn fnn mnnnnn cnrf sf nprupnf. ) fl n dnturfnz ncfstfn mnn !nnn, tnf numnn cfl cf !fdf - n cfl crfdnncnus. 3 Nfrn n murnt surn Grncnn. *f un tnmp ndflungnt fusfsf fn nunn!, fr s sf fn plns !rfudnt chnnr numnn punn. Fu tnnm, c fn n!fn durfrn putfrnncf, fu putfnm s-n !d nntfrnurul suffrnnd, cffn cf f,tfrnurul fn nscundfn smfrnt. "ut cf fcfn fn, frn u rugcnunf. "ut cf fcfn fn, fcfn fn pfntru *umnfzfu. Nntutdfnunn sf nfln fn ntr-u lfgtur duhu!nncfnsc cu Fl n n mulumfn pfntru suffrnnn, pf cnrf Fl n-u trnmnsfsf. n ntutdfnunn n!fn fn tnmp, n tutdfnunn gsfn fn cu!nntf nlnnttunrf pfntru fnfcnrf. *f n nnnntf cu u sptmn prf!zusf fn munrtfn fn. 'n ngfr n !fnnt ln fn n n-n spus- +nnu, "ntl tf ntfnpt! Nngfrul n-n mnn prsnt-u n ncfnst sptmn, n prfgtnt-u pfntru !nnn nuu, munrtfn trupulun n .nntfrfn/ duhulun. )u trfn urf nnnntf df munrtfn fn n lunsf fn rmns nun df ln tun, l rugnsf umnl pf prfut pfntru n u spu!fdn. 'ltnmflf fn cu!nntf sunnu cn u ntrnrf prnn urmnt- *rngustfn lun *umnfzfu fstf sfcrftul %u. %fcrftflf nu nu nncnudnt unncfnul s sf nflf pf us, pf strnd. *nr fnfcrunn, cnrf !nnf ln Fl n l rung pfntru ncfstfn, n fncf cunuscutf ncfstf sfcrftf. 2ul n ncunnt un ln cnmfrn $un cu trfn ncunfturn. )hfnlf ln ncfnstn sunt- drngustfn, smfrfnnn n rndnrfn. )u punn tnmp nnnntf df munrtfn fn nu nprut nln dun ngfrn. Fn nu lunt duhul fn df suflft n mn lucul lur n lnu rpnt, ctrf lumnn. ' dnstnn scurt nm putut fu s-n ncumpnnnfz, ntuncn nu dnsprut fn. Ncfnst nlnmf nc n-u putfnm urcn. &nsrfn n fust nnrn lnnfr# nsunt df trfn !ulturn n znurnt fn pn n cfl mnn nnlt cfr. Fn nu sf mnn ngrn fn df cucn munrt, pf cnrf tun u plngfnu. 3 Mnmn frn dfsfurn ln mnnf. *f un tnmp m !nzntn fn nprunpf fnfcnrf spmn. Fu frnm df nsfmfnfn ndfsfn ln fn n duh, !urnfnm mult cu fn, n ddfnm putfrf. Fu putfnm s n nzgunfsc umnrflf, cnrf u chnnunnu. $n ncfput df fnfcnrf dnt dnn nuu. )u tnmpul prfn fffctul s durfzf tut mnn mult, pn cf flf s-nu rftrns ntr-u nun zn pf dfplnn. *rngustfn crfscusf n fn n furmn mprfun cu rugcnunfn u nfurnrf prutfctunrf n urul fn. Nntrndf!r n fust fn tut tnmpul nnrn cunturnnt df ncfstf duhurn rflf, cnrf u nfc fnu cu ntncurnlf lur n cu dunnnlf lfn, dnr s sf stnnnlfnsc nu mnn putfnu flf. n drngustfn tntlun nfptunsf udnt ncflnn lucru n n prucurnsf ndfsfn lnnntf pfntru un tnmp scurt, urf, n cnrf fn frn funrtf ffrnct cu tntn. % nngf df sfnm tuntf ncfstfn nu putfn mnmn. *nr fn snmfn lfgturn, pf cnrf u cunstrunsfm ctrf fn. Fn l-n prflunt ncum pf *umnfzfu n !nnn fn, gsnsf n sfrnt cf!n pncf. *nr trfcutul fn u chnnunn mfrfu. 2fpruurnlf u fcfnu s suffrf. Nntr-u dup nmnnz s-n prnunt fn, plngnd. Fu n-nm fcut nf n tntlun !nnn nn df grfn. Fu nm fust nn df fr drngustf n fgunst )um s put fu s ndrfpt ncfnstn !rfudnt( )u ct df mult drng n-n fn nnut ncum mnmfn un dnscurs lung dfsprf drngustfn lun *umnfzfu, cnrf nu trfnunf nncnudnt s nfrtf, pfntru c fn n-n ncuznt nncnudnt. *nr pfntru ncfst fnpt nu frnm fu n stnrf. )tf!n gndurn nlnnttunrf putfnm fu s-n fnc nflfsf, n ncfnstn mfrgf df n dfstul df grfu. *nr fu tnnm, cf !urnfnm fu cu fn n duh, ncfst lucru durn prunnnnl punn mnn mult, pn cf n pfn n cuntnfntul fn, dnr ntuncn df!fnfn nstn pruprnftntfn fn. Ncfnstn !fnfn ntuncn dnn .nntfrnur/ n putfn df ncffn s fnf nflfns mult mnn rfpfdf dfct gndurn strnnf n duscunn nurmnl. )t df dfs nu n nu unrnn gndurnlf n !un nn!, spusf Mnchnfl u dnt. )fn mnn muln nu put dnstnngf gndurn strnnf df cflf pruprnn. Nngfrul !ustru fstf ncuntnnuu ucupnt cu fnptul, df n ! nntruducf gndurn, cnrf ! nrnt cnlfn cfn ndf!rnt. Ncfnstn fstf cffn, cf fstf ndfsfn numnt cn scrupulf. *nr ct df uur sunt ncfstfn nnrnn nruncntf cu uurnn! 'n ngfr tutun nu nrf putfrfn, s ! unlngf sprf nnnf, fl dunr nu puntf punf !unnn !unstr n nfnrn strnn df funcnunf. &f df-u pnrtf uptfsc umnrflf nfncftnt nsuprn !unstr, ! cunfnrm n !ncnnlf n pntnmnlf !unstrf, ! ndfnmn sprf fnptf runnunsf n crnmf, ln cnrf flf sf dfsftfnz ntuncn. *f cf nscult numnn nn df muln cu nun-!unn df flf( Nncn ncfstfn nu sunt tutun gndurnlf lur pruprnn. Fu trfnunf s-n fnu tntlun nfsfrnt df mulumntunrf, c fl n rmns ln mnnf! Mnmn m lunsf nnrn nnpun dnn !nsflf mflf. Fu nu n-n fn putut nnf cu prfrf df ru, dnc fl s-nr fn dus, dnc fl n-nr mnn fn putut supurtn !nnn cu ncfnst ffmfnf ncpnnt, fr drngustf. *nr fl frn ncfln, cnrf mn-n prfgtnt cnlfn cu drngustfn lun. Fr fl n-n fn gsnt cnlfn nnpun ln *umnfzfu. Fu nm n !nsnt tut tnmpul nnrn dfsprf tntn, n fl fstf mfrfu nn df nunntur n rndtur cn nnnntf. *n, un mfsn frn drngustfn. Fl !urnfn dfsfurn n duh cu mnmn, cum mn pu!fstnsf Mnchnfl ndfsfn. Nu cuntnfnt, cum putfnm fu s-u fnc ncum. *rngustfn fncf ncfnstn nutumntnc. n mfsn ul fn n ungf tutdfnunn ln dfstnnnnf, chnnr dnc nstn durfnz ctfudnt pfntru nununnlf nunstrf nfsfrnt df mult, dn chnnr n ntuncn, cnd pfntru nun nu df!nnf !nznnnl nnsulut nncn un succfs. )nd!n udnt sunt mprf urrnlf fn!urnnnlf, ntuncn nns rsndul. Nun trfnunf dunr s dm drumul prnn clcnrf ln!nnflur nunstrf mncn. Mnrn df!nn flf ntuncn snngurf. )t df muln cfdnu nstzn ntt df rfpfdf n sf dfspnrt, pfntru c nnmfnn nu lf puntf prftnndf, s trnnsc

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mprfun cu .nn cnnf!n. Fn nu mnn sunt dnspun, s nduc frtff, s dfn un pns nnpun snu prunnnnl s n slu fnsc u dnt. Fn nu mnn sunt dnspun, s cunsnmt cu cfllnlt, s-l nccfptf pf dfplnn, s-l n utf ln rfzul!nrfn prunlfmflur snlf. 'rnnn df fgunsmul lur pruprnu !d fn numnn grfflnlf snlf Ann znsfB. *rngustfn n df!fnnt dfmudnt- nuturfnlnznrf sf numftf cu!ntul df df!nz! n ln ncfnstn fstf cfllnlt tutun numnn stn fnntur. Fl fstf dunr .fulusnt/ cn un unnfct, nn df dfpnrtf pf ct sfr!ftf fl pruprnnlur nntfrfsf n durnnf - n dup ncffn fstf nnrn nruncnt. Frn nn df frumus df n !fdfn, cum mnmn sf schnmnnsf. Fn sf rugn mult n n n utn pf cfnlnln nn df mult pf ct putfn. $ucrurn mntfrnnlf nsfmnnu pfntru fn cu mult mnn punn dfct nnnntf. *nr ncfstfn nu frnu numnn .cumurn pfntru cfr/, pf cnrf fn lf ndunn. n nncn n ncum n mfrgfn prnn ncfnstn df n cu mult mnn nnnf. Fn n df!fnnt mnn mulumnt. $n tunt muncn n suffrnnn sllunn tutun u ffrncnrf tcut n fn. "ntn sf nucurn cu sngurnn funrtf mult df ncfst fnpt. Fl n-n nrtnt n !ns, cn fn s nu nnn nustnlgnf dup fl n gndurn, cn s sf ucupf df fnptul, cn frnnn mfn, cnrf frnu ncum nmndun df n mnturn n n!fnu fnmnlnn pruprnn, s punt gsn tut nn cnlfn cfn drfnpt. *f mult rndnrf n drngustf !n fn nf!unf pfntru ncfst lucru. 6 Nnc u dnt nnrn trfnunn fu s fnu dus spfntru nnnlnzf n clnnnc, ntr-u clnnnc unn!frsntnr, n cnrf n-nm mnn fust nncnudnt. Fu !runnm mnn ntn s m upun, nm rfnlnznt ns ncun, c fu nu n!fnm nncn u nns# nstffl m-nm dnt fu n mnnnlf dfstnnulun mfu. *nn tnmpul nccndfntulun nu mnn pnsfm n nncn u clnnnc, n ncfnstn n fust n urm cu u grmnd df nnn. *f n df dfpnrtf m-n cuprnns un sfntnmfnt ru. Ntuncn cnd nun nfnm nflnt n fnn purnn, m-nm spfrnnt fu funrtf tnrf. &fntru prnmn dnt df cnd putfnm .!fdfn/, m-n cuprnns u frnc df nfdfscrns. Frn u nmngnnf df cnus. *uhurnlf murnlur n !nn, nlf nnnmnlflur n unmfnnlur, tuntf df!fnnsfr u mns n fnfrnfrf, nfngr. &fstf tuntf sf nfln un nmfns strngt df n utur duhu!nncfsc. )um n frn cun!n pusnnnl, s lucrfzf nncn, fr s fnf strn!nt df ncfnstn( *uu znlf trfnunn s rmn nncn, mn spusfr fn. Fu trfmurnm cu tut trupul. Nu-mn frn pusnnnl s mfdntfz. Fr ncftnrf m lu!fnu umnrf, nu-mn lsnu nncn cfl mnn mnc luc df lnnntf. Fu l-nm rugnt pf Mnchnfl dup n utur, df-nnnn ntuncn mn-n rfunt, s-mn fnc cf!n spnnu lnnfr n lnnntf cu crucfn df lumnn. Nncnudnt nnrn nu mn-n mnn fust fffctul fn nn df lnmpfdf cuntnfnt cn nncn. 2nzflf fn crfnu un znd, cnrf m nfurn prutfctur. *nr sumnul nu frn pusnnnl. *f ndnt cf nm fust lsnt n pncf df ctrf ducturn, nm cutnt scpnrfn ln Mnchnfl. Muln trfnunf nncn s-n pftrfnc ntrfngn !nn! Fu m-nm untnt ndflung ln ducturn n ln sururn. )n prnzunnfrn ntr-u cntndfl n umnrflur nrtnu fn. *nn tuntf prnlf !fnfnu flf n trgfnu df fn, lf sugfnu tut dnn fn. )nnf !runn nncn s suprn!nfunnsc, trfnunn s nnn u ndf!rnt nntur df tnur - snu s fnf un sfnt. Fu putfnm s-n !d pf unnn dnntrf ncftn sfnnn. 2ugcnunfn n drngustfn n nfurnu cn un curt prutfctur. %mfrnn sfr!fnu fn tuturur, nnfnu tut tnmpul u nucnt df pncf n mnnnlf lur n u mprfnu tuturur, cnrf sf ntnndfnu s prnmfnsc ncfnstn. Nnflfgfrf, nuntntf n nlnntnrf n nfurnu n pf pncnfnnn lur ntr-u mnntnu prutfctunrf. Fnfrgnn, pf cnrf fn u fmnnnu mfrfu, curgfn fr nncftnrf cn ndnus dnn sffrn duhu!nncfsc-dumnfzfnfnsc, un nz!ur cnrf nncnudnt nu sfcn pfntru ncfln, cnrf rung n sf rung pfntru n prnmn ncfnstn. %un cnmfrn mfn trfnunn s sf nflf curtfn df dnnnnntf sprf nnd. Numnn cu prutfcnn lun Mnchnfl nm ndrznnt s m duc nculu. Frnu duhurnlf n zfcn df mnn df nnnmnlf, cnrf umplfnu ncpfrnlf cn u mnrf spumfgnd dnn lncrnmn, frnc n rfpru. Nncnudnt n-nm !zut fu lucrurn mnn ngruzntunrf, nncnudnt u suffrnn mnn mnrf. $n chnnurn nfnmngnnnnnlf trfnunnu ncfstf nnnmnlf s fn fust pusf. Frn nndul! )rfnt prnntr-unn dnntrf cflf mnn ngruzntunrf crnmf nlf umfnnrnn, !n!nsfcnn. )u trupul !nu, fr nnfstfznf fusfsfr multf dnntrf ncfstf nnnmnlf upfrntf. *nc f,nstn u cunl pfntru drncn, ncfnstn df nncn trfnunn s fnf. *uhurnlf nnnmnlflur, nltffl fnnf nn df !nunnf, frnu dfsfngurntf pn ln nfrfcununtfrf. *uhul nnnmnlflur nu sf nfl nncn pf dfpnrtf nn df strns n trup cn ln unmfnn. *f ncffn puntf un nnnmnl s supurtf mult mnn uur durfrn .nurmnlf/. 'n nnnmnl suffr df rfgul ln rnnrn n nuln nncn pf dfpnrtf nn df tnrf cn un um. unrfcflf, cu cnrf sf unc pnsncn, zfnrn, pf cnrf n prnns-u lful, muscn, cnrf n fust prnns df pnnn fn, flf nu suffr ln ncfnstn. *uhul lur sf dfprtfnz ntt df dfpnrtf df trup, c fl rmn nfturnurntf df ncfnstn. Numnn chnnurn nlf schnngnunrnlur nfumfnftn put ducf ln nnnmnl ln fnptul, c duhul su fstf n fl nnclus, c fl suffr chnnurn nlf nndulun n fstf n nn ffl df dfsfngurnt, cum fu nm gsnt ncfnstn nncn. *f cf( &fntru cf( 'n rspuns ln ncfstf ntrfnrn nu fstf pusnnnl. Nn cn n cum dnntr-un rznun nu puntf nncnudnt s nns pncf ndf!rnt n dnn nfnurucnrfn nlturn nncnudnt ffrncnrf ndf!rnt, nstffl nncn nu sf lns nncnudnt n!nns prnn sufrnnn nlturn pruprnn nunl. *nn durfrf, strmturnrf n munrtf - n snu f,nct ntuncn cnd fstf !urnn df nnnmnlf - nu puntf nncnudnt s fnf nscut sntntfn. Mfdncnmfntf n mftudf df upfrnnn, dfz!ultntf prnn f,pfrnfnf pf nnnmnlf, put fn ln prnmn !fdfrf plnnf df n utur ln multf nuln. &fr tutnl ns prncnnunfsc flf df n prnn fffctflf lur nd!frsf cu mult mnn mult pngun, dfct sunt flf untnlf, fcnd cu tutul nnstrncnf df urmrnlf duhu!nncfsc-suflftftn, cnrf cntrfsc nc cu mult mnn grfu. Munrtfn nu puntf crfn !nn. Ncfnstn fstf lfgf! $un Mnchnfl nsun nu-n frn uur s rmn

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lnnntnt. Nnc nncnudnt nu l-nm !zut nn df fmununnt. &fntru nfnumrnt df multf suffrnnf nlf umfnnrnn fstf rfspunsnnnl ncfnst crnm! Nntr-ndf!r nsntunt prnn ncfnstn n-n fust pn ncum nc nnmfnn! Nun nncn mcnr nu putfnm ncurdn n utur. Frn ngruzntur! Fu frnm nucuruns, s plfc nnrn rfpfdf df nculu, df us. *nr nmngnnnlf mn-nu rmns u !nn ntrfng n nmnntnrf. 'scnlnnnlf ngruzntunrf, cnrf sf rspndfnu dnn ncfst luc, nnfnu ntrfngn clnnnc cn prnzunnfr. 0n dnmnnfn urmtunrf nm fust cuntrulnt df ducturul %tfrn. *nn .grffnl/ frn tut ncfl ductur, cnrf m-n chnnunt dup nntfrfn, n prnmn mfn nntfrnnrf n spntnl. *nr df dntn ncfnstn nm rfunt s nnu sfntnmfntflf df ur n df rfpru, dn, nm rfunt chnnr s lf schnmn n drngustf. Fl fstf un prnnzunnfr nl mfsfrnfn snlf, mn-n spus Mnchnfl. Nnn ntrfgn, df n df cnd n-n ncfput spfcnnlnznrfn fstf f,pus ncfstur !nnrnnn. Fl nsun n trfnunt s fnc f,pfrnfnf pf nnnmnlf. *f muln nnn n sf spunf, c npnrntflf sunt snngurflf, pf cnrf fl sf puntf nnzn. *f nntunnf nu !urnftf nnmfnn. *umnfzfu fstf n cfl mnn nun cnz !nlnnnl pfntru crnlf df pu!ftn. Ncfnst cunl nu lns u nlt nltfrnntn!. 'nt-tf cu ntfnnf ln ducturul %tfrn. Fl nu fstf ru. Fl fstf cun!nns, c fncf cffn cf fstf drfpt. Fl fstf cun!nns, c puntf !nndfcn. )nnf n n!nt u spfcnnlnznrf cum fstf n sn, s nnn ncrfdfrf dunr n npnrntf, cnnf n n!nt, s sf untf dunr ln pnrtfn nulnn! n nu ln ntrfgul um, cnnf n n!nt, c nu sf cndf s n nrntf sfntnmfntflf, cnnf fstf dup ncffn nruncnt fr *umnfzfu n spntnl, fstf f,pus pfrmnnfnt !nnrnnnlur nnmncntunrf n nfgntn!f, cnnf .nfn/ .sngflf/ nnnmnlflur df f,pfrnfn, pfntru cnnf df!nnf suffrnnn u nurmnlntntf, cum puntf ncfln s df!nn sfntnmfntnl n s-n nrntf drngustfn( Nntrfnn-tf mnn nnnf cum fstf pusnnnl, c f,nst nc ntt df muln, cnrf nu mfrs prnn ncfnst munr n nu lf sunt strnnf cu!nntflf drngustf n n utur, cnrf put s snmt n ln tutul cf trfnunf s fnc, !d nc ntrfgul um n fnn lur. 0n fn n prnmnt *umnfzfu df n u lucunn, chnnr dnc fn dfsfurn nu tnu ncfst lucru. "f cust ncum mult curn df snnf, s tf nturcn nnpun n curpul tu n s nccfpn cunsultnnnlf ncflfn durfrunsf, fu tnu ncfst lucru! *nr s nu tf mnn nturcn nnpun, nr nsfmnn ln ffl cn n u snnucndfrf. "u nn nflfs ncum, c durfrfn n suffrnnn nu fstf nncnudnt fr sfns. Flf chnnunfsc curpul ntr-ndf!r, dnr punrt tutun ntutfnunn un mfsn . *f unncfn sun nn- Nntunrcf-tf! "u tf nfln pf drumul grfnt! nnf-tf dup urdnnfn drfnpt n lun *umnfzfu, n f-n grn n rffrntunrf ln !nlurnlf spnrntunlf! )nnf !rfn s-n nghfsunf spnrntul n mntfrnn strmt, cnnf l furfnz, s sf ucupf df sntnsfncfrnlf trupftn, cnnf n nlfgf nlnmfntflf dunr dup gustul su, cnnf n rpftf spnrntulun su lnnfrtntfn prnn dfpfndfnf, ncfln nu nrf !unf s sf mnrf c spnrntul su suffr. Nunln n suffrnnn sunt un strngt df n utur nl spnrntulun n n!frtnzfnz umul, cn fl s sf ntunrc. "nnlftflf n npnrntflf nu put !nndfcn, dn - flf nncn mcnr nu nu !unf! %fnsul !nfnn nu fstf, s trfcn prnn tuntf cu un curp sntus. "rfnunf s ! dfn mnn mult ucnznn, s prugrfsnn spnrntunl, s ! dfschndfn drngustfn. Nculu undf dumnn urn, suprnrfn, cfnrtn, nfmulumnrfn n nn!ndnn, nu puntf s rmn un curp sntus. Ncfstf !nnrnnn ndncn n nfgntn!f schnmn n nn ffl !nnrnnnlf pruprnn nlf curpulun, c ncfstn sf mnuln!ftf. Nu fstf u pfdfnps, cn un strngt df n utur- )f!n nu fstf n rfgul! *unr schnmnnrfn gndnrnn, ntunrcfrfn, l puntf nsntun dnn nuu. "nnlftflf put s nmflnurfzf, dnr flf nu put s !nndfcf! )nnf sf lns .mncnt/ df frncn sn, ncfln s fnf mulumnt, ntuncn cnd nunln l n!frtnzfnz n !rfn s-n spun- "u nu ftn curpul tu, tu ftn spnrntul tu, nu-n fncf grn n df curpul tu! % nu-n fnf tfnm dnn cnuzn lun, flf fstf fr nncn u nmpurtnn! Nndrfnpt-n duhul sprf *umnfzfu, n tfnmn sf !n f!npurn, dfunrfcf nu !n mnn fn nfcfsnr! *unr trfnunf nflfs ncfst mfsn ! "rfnunf s !rfn s-l nflfgn! Nunln nu fstf nncnudnt dnn grffnl, fn nu fstf pru!ucnt df nnctfrnn n !nrun. Nuln nnffcnunsf n lu!ftf rnrfurn pf unnn. F,nst sufncnfnn unmfnn, cnrf nu suprn!nfunt lfprfn n cnumnn, cu tuntf c n-nu n utnt pf cfn nulnn!n, fr n fn ntr-un ffl prutf nn! *rngustfn fstf un scut sufncnfnt. )ffn cf dfclnnfnz nunln fstf pruprnn cumpurtnrf grfnt, nclcnrfn urdnnnn dumnfzfnftn. *f nnnn ntuncn df!nnf pruspfr tfrfnul pfntru nnctfrnn n !nrun. *nr dnn pcntf mn urntntfn nu pnfrdut ncfnst lfgtur. Fn nncn mcnr nu mnn sunt cnpnnnln, s rfcununsc sfmnflf cflf mnn f!ndfntf. %N*N fstf unul dnntrf ncfstf sfmnf. Fnfcnrf tnf, c, df rfgul, sf puntf mnuln!n lumfn df fn dunr ntuncn, dnc n dnu fru lnnfr durnnffn trupftn, n sf,unlntntf dfplnsnt snu n dfpfndfnn df drugurn. n n luc s nlturf mutn!flf, s sf ntunrc nnpun n urdnnfn dumnfzfnnsc, sf cnut pusnnnlntn, s duc drumul mnn dfpnrtf n cu tut fflul df mn luncf n flfmfntf df sngurnn s scnpf df nn znsn .pfdfnps/. *nc nr fn ncfnstn u pfdfnps, ntuncn nu nm putfn fn df ncurd, dnr nm putfn s nflfgfm. )cn sf puntf uculn u pfdfnps, dnc unnn nfnrm cu !ucfn tnrf, c sunt ntt df nntflngfnn. *nr pfdfpsf nu f,nst! Fstf dunr u urmnrf n trnnulun df !nn grfnt. n ncfnstn nu sf !n putfn uculn df ffl. *nr cfl trznu ntuncn, cnd tuntf nfnrnlf sunt nfundntf, cfl trznu ntuncn fn !ur unsfr!n, c f,nst un drum mnn snmplu, cnrf cunducf tut tnmpul sprf succfs- s sf ntunrc n s rfcununsc dnn nuu urdnnfn dumnfzfnnsc. )um puntf !nndfcn un ductur u nunl dnc nu-n cununtf cnuzn( Fstf npru,nmntn! nn, cn n cum cnnf!n nr ncfnrcn s f,tfrmnnf u crtn , prnn fnptul c n dnstrugf muurunul. Mnnf n !n dn dnn nuu ucnznn s-u fnc. *nc nstzn .!nndfcn/ stumncul, mnnf !n fn nffctnt nnnmn, snu nntfstnnul, snu ...! "u pun dnstrugf urnctf muurunnf !rfn, sf !ur nfnnnn tut tnmpul nltflf. Nncftfnz dunr ntuncn, cnd crtnn fstf prnns. *f ncffn !nndfc-n spnrntul! n ntuncn tu nu mnn trfnunf s-n fncn grn n dnn prncnnn trupulun! )hnnr n muln dnntrf cfn cf !nndfc spnrntul mfrg drumul grfnt. *nc n lnn pf ncftn nrlntnnn dfupnrtf, ntuncn muln sf lnmntfnz s !nndfcf cu duhul curpul. *unr punnn sunt n stnrf, s nlturf cnuzflf spnrntunlf. *unr ncfst lucru cunducf sprf u !nndfcnrf pfrmnnfnt.

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*nc cfrf unul muln nnnn pfntru muncn sn, ntuncn tu pun s fn sngur, c nu nrf putfrfn dumnfzfnnsc, cu cnrf fl tf !nndfc. *nrurn spnrntunlf nu sf put !nndf. *umnfzfu nu sf lns pltnt n unfltflf snlf nncn ntt. Ncfst lucru fstf !nlnnnl pfntru tuntf dnrurnlf spnrntunlf. *nc cnnf!n n prnmnt df ln *umnfzfu hnrul, cn fl s punt !fdfn snu s snmt n !nntur, ntuncn ncfstn l !n drun, ndnc l !n dn dunr cn s sf punt ntrfnnf. Nnnnn sunt cfn mnn nun n cfn mnn ffncnfnt dfscupfrnrf n dnn!ululun, n cnnf sf unc cu fucul, nu nrf !unf s sf mnnunfzf, dnc sf nrdf dnn grffnl ln dfgftf. )t df punnn sunt cnpnnnln, s gsfnsc cnuzn n s !nndfcf ntr-ndf!r duhul! Muln cnrf !nndfc duhul, ct n ductrurn, nfnrm c fn put !nndfcn nnsulut tutul. Mulumnt *umnulun nu sunt fn cnpnnnln df ncfnstn! Fn nr lun ntuncn umulun ultnmn nns, cnrf n-nr furn ntunrcfrfn. &fntru muln n fust nunln lur mutn!ul, prnn cnrf fn nu rfnunnt ln tut cf fstf mntfrnnl n s-nu ndrfptnt sprf *umnfzfu. %nu cf s-nr fn ntmplnt, dnc Nnnndn 2nmn tf-nr fn !nndfcnt( Fl n-nr fn lunt cf!n! *funrfcf pfntru tnnf fstf nmpurtnnt ncfnstn/nunl/, dn /fstf !ntnl/. Fn n df!fnnt cfl mnn nun prnftfn nl tu. Fr ncfnst nunl nu nn fn n!ut nnsn, s tf dfz!uln mnn dfpnrtf. *nstrncnnlf, grnnn n lfnfn tf-nr fn cuprnns n n-nr fn nlucnt drumul spnrntunl. n fr ucnznn df n n!n umnlnnn, drngustfn n rndnrfn, nu tf-nn nfln tu nstzn nncn. %nu unt-tf ln cfnlnn hnndncnpnn, pf cnrf tu n cunutn df n. &fntru tun fstf nmpurtnnt .nunln/ lur, fn n nrf rustul fn! *n - fnfcnrf dnntrf nun putfn s fnf mulumnt pfntru nunln sn, cnrf uffrfn spnrntulun mn luncflf cn fl s sf dfz!ultf n s n!ff, cffn cf un .um sntus/ n!n dunr funrtf grfu. Fstf u trfnpt df dfz!ultnrf. )um un fluturf trfnunf s fnf ntn u umnd, pfntru cn s sf punt dfz!ultn, nn npnrf n n dfz!ultnrfn umulun un punct, undf u nunl fncf pusnnnlf f,pfrnfnf, cnrf nltffl nu sf put fncf. &fntru unul sntus, cnrf nu !rfn, s sf untf n spntflf lucrurnlur, put s sunf ncfstf cu!nntf punn cnudntf. *nr spnrntul st pfstf tuntf. 3 Mntthnns nrf df nnnn cnncn nnn, n fstf pnrnlnznt spnstnc n surdu-mut. Ntuncn cnd fl n !fnnt ln nun, mn s-n .prfzfntnt/ mnf nn- Nm n!nt s n ut. Fstf cf!n frumus, cf!n sntnsfctur. Fstf nnnf, dnc pun n utn pf cnnf!n. Ncum trfnunf s n!, cn fu s m lns n utnt. Ncfst lucru fstf cu mult mnn grfu. 0n ncflnn tnmp put s lf dnu nlturn pusnnnlntntfn s n utf. *n, s tf lnn n utnt, fstf cu mult mnn grfu, dfct s n un. *nr fnfcnrf, cnrf !rfn s n utf, nrf nf!unf df cnnf!n, cnrf fstf prfgtnt, s sf lnsf n utnt. n f,nct ncfstn fstf mutn!ul n multur nuln. &rnnnn lun nu nu !rut s fnf n prfn mn lur u nstffl .df pucntnnnf/. &n ncum s-n ucupnt nunncn sn cu mult drngustf df fl, n-n dnt cldurn nfcfsnr unun um cu hnndncnp, cu tuntf c fn frn funrtf grn! nulnn! n df nnnn mnn putfn s mfnrg. %nu puntf c chnnr dnn ncfst mutn!( *f ln Mnchnfl tnnm, c u nstffl df lfgtur, cum nu cunstrunt-u fn dun, !n nnf pf !fcn. Nncn u furtun nu u !n putfn rupf !rfudnt. Ncfstfn sunt fructflf spnrntulun, pf cnrf nun trfnunf s lf ndunm nncn, pfntru n putfn trn dnnculu cu flf. Nnnn nu n putut pn ncum s nn nnmfnn cu fl. *nr ncum n n!ut !unf nunncn lun s prsfnsc ncfst pmnt. Nn n n uns Mntthnns ln nun. %pnrntul su frn mnn lnnfr dfct ln cfnlnln. Fu putfnm s m .nflfg/ nnnf cu fl, chnnr n ntuncn cnd fl frn trfnz. *uhul multur unmfnn cu hnndncnp nu fstf nn df strns lfgnt df curp, cn n ln unmfnnn .nurmnln/. Ncfstn fstf n mutn!ul, c muln dnntrf fn nu snmt nn df tnrf durfrfn, cn n unmfnnn .nurmnln/. %pnrntul lur fstf mnn dnstnnnnt, fl nu trfnunf s sf ndfntnfncf cu curpul, dfunrfcf durnnflf lumftn, mntfrnnlul, grnnn n strfsul nu l unlng. Ncfstfn sunt unflf dnn ncflf .drfpturn/ pf cnrf un um cu hnndncnp lf nrf. *nr pf df nlt pnrtf fn supurt multf lucrurn. &fntru snnf, pfntru n nnnntn u nucnt pf drumul lur grfu, dnr n pfntru nlnn, cn s lf dfn ucnznn cn s n utf n s lf dfschnd uchnn cu mfsn ul lur mutNu curpul fstf cffn cf !nlurfnz, fl fstf nmpfrffct n trfctur, nmpurtnnt fstf s pun trfcf pfstf fl. *unr duhul rmnf pf !fcn, nmpurtnnt fstf s-l lnn s crfnsc!

3 Nnrn nm pnt nlturn df Mnchnfl drumul strmt df pdurf n us, pf lng cnscndn df np, sprf mncul lnc, lng cnrf sttfnm nun dfsfurn. &fntru prnmn unr nm unsfr!nt, c flurnlf frnu ntutdfnunn nflurntf, pumnn n!fnu ntutdfnunn fructf, frn tut tnmpul plcut n cnld, tutul frn mnnunnt, fr cn fu s fn unsfr!nt !rfudnt c pluun. Ntuncn cnd fu m-nm gndnt funrtf nnnf ln ntrfnnrf, pfntru cn fu s nu m nlnmfz prfn tnrf, n ncfput Mnchnfl s-mn zmnfnsc. Nu f,nst nnrn ln *umnfzfu. "utul fstf plnn df !nn. Nntutdfnunn! Nnmnc nu fstf trfctur, nnmnc nu sf puntf ufnln. "utul fstf ntutfnunn n flunrfn !nfnn. &lunnn, sunrflf n hrnnn fstf nfcfsnr dunr pfntru lumfn mntfrnnl. $umfn spnrntunl fstf 7rnstus ntru tutul. &utfrfn %n ptrundf n tutul, df ln Fl trnftf tut cf fstf. %urn Gnrcnn nr putfn s-n pu!fstfnsc ctf cf!n. ' mn m-n ntnns uur pf umr. Fu m-nm nturs. 'n ngfr tnr sttfn n fnn mfn. %urn Gnrcnn, cum nn n uns nncn! Fn n ncfput s zmnfnsc. Ncfst lucru tf-n putfn ntrfnn n fu pf tnnf. *n, ncfst lucru frn ndf!rnt.

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Mnchnfl, df mult nm !rut fu s tf ntrfn cf!n. Fu cunusc ncum ctf!n fflurn df nuln. %fnsul lur, pusnnnlntnlf lur. *nr cf sfns n n!ut suffrnnn surfn Gnrcnn( Fn n n uns nn df dfpnrtf n lfgturn fn cu *umnfzfu, c nu n mnn n!ut nf!unf df nunl, pfntru n gsn drumul cfl nun. *n, ncfst lucru fstf ndf!rnt! $n *umnfzfu f,nst mnn multf pusnnnlntn, n ncfnstn fstf unn dnntrf flf. Fu nm n!ut !unf s sufr, drng Nnrnnrn. N fust u mnlustn!nrf dnn pnrtfn lun *umnfzfu. Nu pfntru mnnf nm rndnt fu, cn pfntru nlnn. Nn cum Nnsus n suffrnt n mnrf pfntru nun tun, nn nm n!ut fu !unf s sufr punn pfntru cn!n. n nu sunt chnnr ntt df punnn, cnrf sf rung pfntru ncfnst mnl n u n prnmfsc. %fcrftus s-n untnt fn ln Mnchnfl. Ncfstn n dnt nfnrmntn! dnn cnp. n tu ftn unn dnntrf ncfnn. Fu( *n! Nncn tu nu mnn nn nf!unf df durfrnlf tnlf pfntru dfz!ultnrfn tn. *nr tu lf supurn n lnnntf n cu df!utnmfnt. F,nct ncfnstn fstf, cf fu nm !rut s spun. *nr cum fstf pusnnnl( Fnfcnrf trfnunf s-n mfnrg pruprnul drum. Nu puntf s n sf sucutfnsc lun mfrntflf nlturn. Ncfst lucru nr nlturn dunr !unnn sn lnnfr. Fstf unul dnntrf sfcrftflf lun *umnfzfu, cnrf fstf funrtf grfu df nflfs. Nncn fu nu sunt n stnrf, s nflfg ncfnstn ntru tutul. )hnnr n cflf mnn nnltf duhurn nu tnu tutul. *uhurnlf crfsc tut tnmpul n nflfpcnunfn lur, n nfmrgnnntn nflfpcnunf n lun *umnfzfu fstf sufncnfnt pfntru !fcnn !fcnlur. *nr cffn, cf fn nu nflfg, ncffn nccfpt fn umnln n crfdnncnun. &rnn ncfnstn sf dnffrfnnnz fn fnurm df mult f df !un unmfnnn. Fn tnu, c put s nnn ncrfdfrf n *umnfzfu, c sf put nnzn pf Fl. *umnfzfu n-n pus nc nncnudnt !rfunn dnntrf lfgnlf %nlf n nfnrn !nlnnnlntnn, n Fl nncn nu !n fncf ncfnstn !rfudnt, nncn cfn mnn nfnsfmnnt. *fsngur nr fn Fl n stnrf df ncfst lucru, n dfsngur nr putfn Fl cu ncfnstn s grnfnsc funrtf nmfns dfz!ultnrfn fpturnn. *nr Fl nu fncf. Fl n crfnt pfntru fpturn %n lfgn clnrf n drfptf, n Fl sf nnf df ncfstfn. *nc nr fncf Fl u dnt u f,cfpnf, nncnudnt nnrn nu s-nr putfn nnzn fpturnlf $un pf dfplnn pf Fl. tnn tu ncum, cf nsfnmn n .crfdf/( "u pun dfcn s fnn pf dfplnn sngur, c Fl tnf s fulusfnsc rugcnunfn n suffrnnn, cnrf sunt frtfntf pfntru nlnn, n nn ffl, nct s fnf plnnf df n utur, fr n punf !unnn lnnfr n nfnrn !nlnnnlntnn. Nn ncrfdfrf n Fl! Fu frnm ffrncnt. 7nndncnpul mfu, ncfstn frn nmpurtnnt n nfcfsnr pfntru mnnf. Ncfst lucru l tnnm nnnf. *nr durfrnlf, cnrf nu df!fnnt n ultnmul tnmp tut mnn putfrnncf, m-nu chnununt cu dunnn. &fntru c fu nu putfnm nflfgf sfnsul lur, lf-nm cunsndfrnt n sfcrft df n cn fnnnd fr sfns. ', ct df nfncrfzturn suntfm nun tutun! Nndnr, dfunrfcf fu tnnm, c flf lf sfr!fnu nlturn cn n utur, m nucurnm fu dnn ncfnst cnuz. 0n ultnmul tnmp nm n!ut fu !unf s lf ncurd ctur!n n utur n nm putut s schnmn unflf lucrurn n mprf urnmfn mfn. Ntrnfn ndmnnnstrntunrf n-nm ndfprtnt pu!nrn fn. Fu trfnunn, cf-n drfpt, s m ucup fnfcnrf zn dnn nuu df ncfnstn, pfntru c fn nu frn nncn pf dfpnrtf ndfn uns df putfrnnc, s rfznstf ln ntncurnlf umnrflur. *nr fn fcfn ncuntnnuu prugrfsf mncn. Fn df!fnnsf mnn prnftfnuns, gntn s dfn n utur, cnd sf rugn, frn fn n n nntfrnur pnrtncnpnnt ln ncfnstn. Funrtf ncft, nprunpf nfunsfr!nt cunstrunsf fn un cmp n urul fn, cnrf nu mnn lsn nn uur s !nn ln suprnfn sfntnmfntf n gndurn nfgntn!f. Fn nu tnn mutn!ul, dnr fn ngn df sfnm, c frn cf!n df fn, cf n fcfn trfnnn mnn uunr. Ntuncn s-n trfznt nnnflf dnn fn, n fn lucrn cu tunt furn n cffn cf prn!fn pfrsunnn fn. "rfnnn n cffn cf prn!ftf pfrsunnn pruprnf, ncfnstn n-u puntf prflun nnmfnn df ln tnnf, ccn, nltffl, s-nr fn spus tutun cu !unnn lnnfr. Nntr-ndf!r sunt dfsfurn pnfdncn prfzfntf, cnrf pnr df nftrfcut. Nns, df ndnt cf ncfpf muncn n cffn cf prn!ftf pfrsunnn pruprnf, df ndnt cf fstf nntfprnns ncfrcnrfn sfrnuns, s tf schnmnn, s dnn sfntnmfntflf n gndurnlf nfgntn!f pruprnn n schnmnul drngustfn n pfntru Nnsus 7rnstus, ntuncn n fstf cnnf!n df fn, cnrf nlung pnfdncnlf dnn cnlf. &runnnnl nu mnnf, prunnnnl nncn pun-mnnf. )tfudnt !n fn nfcfsnr, s rfzntn mult tnmp, pfntru c n !unnn n rndnrfn !ur s fnf nntrfnntf. Nnmfnn nu lf puntf prnmn cn cnduu. &unrtn df ln nchnsunrf, pf ncffn u !ur dfschndf nlnn, dnc u zgudunftn dfstul df mult tnmp. *nr dus nfnr nu !fn fn, trfnunf s mfrgn tutun snngur. 3 n FrDnn fcusf prugrfsf nmfnsf. Fl frn numnn uur hnndncnpnt curpurnl, suffrfn ns df u schnzufrfnnf prununnt, df ln nl trfnlfn nn df !nn nl su. Ncfnst dfspncnrf n pfrsunnlntnn frn nn df putfrnnc, c fl trfnunn mfrfu s nn mfdncnmfntf df lnnntnrf. &rnn ncfnstn df!fnfn fl ns nn df rfdus, c nu mnn frn n stnrf, s-n fulusfnsc mnntfn, s nn dfcnznn df unul snngur. Fl df!fnnsf un scln!. 0n stnrfn nurmnl frn fl un nnnt drgu, cnrf fcfn tutul pfntru nltcnnf!n. )nd n!fn crnzflf lun, frn fl Nnpulfun. Fnfcnrf frn dumnnul lun, n fl ntncn cu tuntf, cf n frnu ln ndfmn. Fnn lun, nfnnrfn lun, nn chnnr ntrfngn lun fnnn sf schnmnn df fnfcnrf dnt pf dfplnn. )hnnr n lnmnn sunn nltffl. )nd nm !zut fu pfntru prnmn dnt, cffn cf sf ntmpln nncn, nu !runnm s crfd ncfnstn. &rfn fnntnstnc frn cffn, cf !zusfm fu. Nncn nu mn-n fust lnmpfdf lfgturn lugnc. Nstffl, l-nm rugnt pf Mnchnfl dup un sfnt. "u nn !zut tutun curfct, mn rspunsf fl. %unt ntr-ndf!r duu duhurn, cnrf sf cfnrt pfntru trupul lun. *uhul nnntulun n un nltul, cnrf rfunsf, s sf trnnspun nn df tnrf n curp, c nnntul nu mnn puntf scpn df fl dnn putfrfn pruprnf. $n ncfnstn n nnu mfdncnmfntflf, pf cnrf trfnunf s lf nn mfrfu, nc n ultnmn nns df rfunt. *nr - cum fstf ncfnstn pusnnnl( &rnn nnumntf ntmplrn nmpurtnntf puntf duhul s sf ndfprtfzf funrtf dfpnrtf df trup. *nc ntuncn un nlt duh sf fncf n ncfst tnmp stpn pf trupul lun, puntf s sf ntmplf, c, ln rfnturcfrfn lun, fl nu mnn puntf s scnpf df

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unspftflf nfpuftnt. &rfdumnn ntuncn u lupt cuntnnu ntrf cfn dun. )nd unul ctng, ntuncn fl stnpnftf pfstf trup. )nd cfllnlt ctng pfntru un tnmp suprfmnnn, ntuncn trfnunf trupul s-l nscultf. *funrfcf tutun n rflnffflf curpurnlf sunt dfpfndfntf df duh, sf schnmn ntuncn ndfsfn n ntrfngn nfnnrf df nspfct n ncfstun um rfgrftnnnl. Numnn c nncn fstf sntunnn cn n ln tuntf- cffn cf nu !fzn, ncffn nncn nu crfzn. ' mnrf pnrtf dnntrf ncfnn, cnrf n duc f,nstfnn lur nlnnc prnn snnnturnnlf psnhnntrncf, fncf pnrtf dnntrf ncftnn. *fspncnrf n pfrsunnlntnn u numfsc psnhulugnn. Fn nncn mcnr nu tnu, ct df mult drfptntf nu fn cu ncfst cu!nt. F,nst n cnzurn, undf sf stnnnlnfsc duhul snu duhurnlf nn df putfrnnc n trup, c stpnul df drfpt nu mnn puntf nnsulut df luc s !nn nnpun. Nncn ncfnstn nu fstf nn df rnr. *nc duhul prsftf nncuntnfnt trupul, dfcn n sumn, nu sf puntf ntmpln nnmnc. "rupul fstf pznt cn un rfgf. Ncfnstn fstf unn dnntrf snrcnnnlf nunstrf. n nun suntfm df ncrfdfrf! *nc ns duhul sf dfprtfnz cuntnfnt df trup, ntuncn trfnunf n un nct cuntnfnt s-l prutf fzf! Ncfnstn fstf u lfgf n fstf n lfgtur cu dfcnznn lnnfr n !unnfn. *f ncffn fstf ntt df nmpurtnnt, cn tu s tf ngrn ftn df u prutfcnf nnnntf df fnfcnrf mfdntnnf- prnn rugcnunf n prnn crucfn df lumnn! F,nst n nltf pusnnnlntn, cnrf lf utnlnzfnz mnn nlfs !r nturnn df mngnf nfngr. Ncfstf duu sunt ns cflf mnn putfrnncf, n tu tf pun ntutdfnunn n pf dfplnn ncrfdf n ncfstfn. Muln nn numnn mfdnumn nu pltnt df n cu .pnfrdfrfn/ trupulun lur ncfnst nfgln nrf n mrfnn lur pruprnf snu n nfsucutnnn lur. +nnn, pf cnrf u punrt ntuncn cn .nfnunn/, nncn mcnr nu mnn mfrnt ncfst numf. Fstf u munrtf !nf, pf cnrf u suffr. Fu !rfnu s-n nrt, cnrf n fust ln FrDnn mutn!ul. 0n succfsnunn rnpndf nm !zut fu ntuncn nmngnnn dnn cupnlrnn lun. "ntl su n czut prnd nlcululun. Nntutdfnunn, cnd fl nfn, ntfn ntrfngn lun fnmnlnf, n pf mncuul FrDnn. *f duu urn fusfsf fl df n n spntnl dnn ncfnst cnuz, ln un nn n umtntf n ln dun nnn. &rnmn unr fusfsf fl prfsrnt df sus pn us cu !ntn# fl nr fn czut us pf scrn, sf spunfn. N duun unr n!usfsf fl rupt mnn - u cdfrf ln unc pf strnd. Ntuncn cnd fl cu cfn nprunpf trfn nnn nn sn fcfn n pnt nunptfn, s-n pnfrdut tntl su pf dfplnn cu fnrfn. Fl l-n ngnt n cndn df nnnf n npn rfcf n l-n nnut nn df mult sun np, pn cf df!fnnsf fl nncuntnfnt. Ntuncn s-n ntmplnt ncfnstn. *uhul su nu putusf suffrn ncfst uc n sf dfprtnsf dnntr-u dnt funrtf dfpnrtf df trup. Nndnr - unn dnntrf multflf umnrf, pf cnrf tntl su lf purtn mfrfu cu fl, s-n fcut df ndnt stpn pf trupul su. $un FrDnn n-n rfunt, cf-n drfpt, nc rfntunrcfrfn, dnr fl nu mnn frn snngur. Nncn urm df cnn n-n nrtnt tntl su. n ntnlf lf putfn fl ncupfrn. FrDnn n n uns ntr-u cns df cupnn, n cnzul n fust nchfnnt. )nncn sutf df mnn df cupnn sunt fnfcnrf nn mnltrntnn numnn n Gfrmnnnn, mn spusf Mnchnfl. *nntrf ncftnn trfnunf pfstf u sut df mnn ngrn nn stnnunnr n spntnl. Nns cflf mnn multf cnzurn sunt munmnlnzntf n sunt dntf drfpt nccndfntf. n ntuncn sunt unmfnn, cnrf nc l mnn numfsc pf dnn!ul u nfnnrf dnn pu!ftn ! ' nfnnrf dnn pu!fstf funrtf !nf, mn pnrf mnf. Nntrfntunrf nm prn!nt ln Mnchnfl# fl ddfn numnn dnn cnp, n df ntuncn m-nm ucupnt fnfcnrf zn nntfnsn! df FrDnn. Fu ncfrcnm s-l mnulzfsc n nfnr pf dumnnul lun, l-nm .mprucnt/ cu crucn df lumnn n nm n!ut succfs funrtf rfpfdf. *f n prnmn dnt n pnfrdut fl df ndnt stpnnrfn nsuprn trupulun. Fl df!fnfn !nznnnl tut mnn mult fr !lng. Nmputrn!nrfn lun pfrnudnc frn numnn u ntlnf df rftrngfrf. &unnf sptmnn dup ncffn s-n s!rnt. &f dfplnn ustfnnt trfnunn fl s sf rftrng. $umnnn n!nngf ntutdfnunn, mn spusf Mnchnfl, chnnr dnc ctfudnt durfnz mult, chnnr dnc ctfudnt sf rftrngf pf dfplnn, pfntru n n!fn ntuncn un cu ntt mnn mnrf succfs cu un ntnc prnn surprnndfrf. % spfrm, c fn sf ntunrcf ncun nnrn nnpun n ncfnst lumf! FrDnn n urncf cnz frn !nndfcnt. Nunlf mfdncnmftf n-nu fcut fffctul funrtf rfpfdf, frnu df prfrf ducturnn. &fntru sngurnn nr trfnun fl s lf mnn nn nc cn!n nnn, cn u rfcndn! s punt fn nlturnt. *nr nfgln fnn n dfzurdnnf nu sunt ntutdfnunn nfgntn!f. 0n ncfst cnz n-nu fcut lun FrDnn pusnnnl, s duc ncun u !nn dfstul df nurmnl. 7nndncnpul lun curpurnl uur nu nffn mnn dfpnrtf n f!ndfn. Fu frnm pfstf msur df nucuruns, numnn ntrfnnrfn *f cf m mnn prfucupn. ) nu f,nst cunncndfn, tnu fu, n c nu frn u pfdfnps, n pf ncfnstn u tnnm. )nd nf-n prnsnt FrDnn - fl mplnnnsf ntuncn !rstn df upstsprfzfcf nnn n putfn nnnf s sf nn pf cunt pruprnu - nm !zut fu dnntr-u dnt un nrnnt n fnn mfn, cnrf ndfmnn un prnftfn ln nut ntr-u rund !fsfl. Mfrfu dnn nuu fl l prflucrn, l numfn un slnnnug n um fr !unn, cu tuntf c tnn, c ncfst nrnnt tnr nu putfn supurtn nlculul. Mfrfu nnrn n!fn fl succfs n sf nucurn rfgftf, cnd ncfstn frn ntuncn nfnt. *nr n-n durnt mult tnmp, n fl dfczusf pf dfplnn prnd nlcululun, n fust rfspnns df fnmnlnn lun n n murnt cn!n nnn mnn trznu n mnzfrnf. Nntr-ndf!r n prfn n sfcrft ncum ru ncfstun um df grffnln lun. 0n f,tfrnur nffn fl ns prnn ncffn dnn nncurctur, c fnfcnrf nr trfnun dunr dfsngur snngur s tnf, cf fncf fl. &fstf un nunstr df ln nntrnrf sf nfl u nnscrnpnf mnrf. &f ncffn st scrns- &utfcn nturtuchnntf, umnrf n lumnn, tuntf sunt mnl, nu tf nfrncun. *nc FrDnn n nflfs ntr-ndf!r ncfnstn( &f muln nm n!ut fu !unf s-n n ut. Nntutdfnunn ncnunnm nsuprn duhulun lur, n-nm flnnfrnt df umnrflf lur, lfnm nntrudus gndurn, cn s punt gsn cnlfn cfn curfct. Ncfnn, cnrf frnu dnspun sprf n fncf ncfst lucru, nu pnt pf ncfnst cnlf cu nucurnf. Nulnlf lur nu dnsprut snngurf, dup cf mutn!ul ncfsturn, schnmnnrfn grfnt n trnrnn !nfnn, fusfsf nlturnt. Nns frnu n muln cnrf nu frnu n stnrf df ncfnstn. Fn snmfnu ntr-ndf!r uurnrfn, nu !runnu ns s sf ustfnfnsc. Fn frnu prfn lfnfn, pfntru n-n schnmnn unncfnurnlf, fn frnu prfn slnnn, pfntru n sf rfdrfsn n s-n dfn !nfnn lur u nlt dnrfcnf. 'ndf fstf u !unn, nculu fstf n u cnlf. *nr dnc !unnn lnpsftf, sf !n nstupn n cnlfn nnrn.

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7 Nnrnn fusfsf frnguruns n ndr nt, dnr ncum s-n fcut prnm!nr. %unrflf strlucfn nc punn cnm tnmnd, !ntul frn nc punn cnm rcurus, dnr psrnlf cnrnpfnu nn df tnrf n !fsflf, n ntrfngn nntur prfn s sf nucurf cu flf nsuprn pntflun. &fntru prnmn dnt n ncfst nn nm n!ut nun !unf s fnm nfnr, nfnr dnn culn!nn, cu cnrf sf nchndf u umfnnrf nftnutunrf fn df nntur. Nun, pfrsunnflf cu hnndncnp, suntfm tutun mult mnn putfrnnc lfgnn df nntur. &f df-u pnrtf fstf duhul nustru mult mnn lnnfr, nu fstf nn df tnrf lfgnt df curp, n, n nl dunlfn rnd, nu fstf fl nlucnt df ctrf .strfsul znlnnc/. Nmnduu nu grn , cn nun s putfm snmn nnturn mult mnn nprunpf df nun. ' pfrsunn cu hnndncnp puntf df rfgul s sf nntruduc cu snmnrfn mult mnn nnnf n nntur. Fl sf snmtf c npnrnnf df nntur, snmtf ncffnn pru!fnnfn n nnturnn n n umulun- *umnfzfu! Fl puntf !urnn cu psrnlf, puntf nflfgf lnmnn pnsncnn, fl puntf pumulun s-n dfstnnunf nnnmn n tnf, c ncfstn l !n nflfgf. Multf crfnz duhul n nscuns, cffn cf .umul curpurnl/ nu puntf cuprnndf cu cflf cnncn snmurn nlf snlf. Frn cfl mnn frumus, s nm !unf s m .duc ln plnmnnrf/ prnn pnrc. )nd !rfmfn frn fn!urnnnl, frn mnmn df fnfcnrf dnt nfnr cu mnnf n m mpnngfn n scnunul cu rutnlf sun pumn, df-n lungul cmpnnlur n!frzntf n n gnrdulun nnnf-mnrusntur. Fu nu mn-n fncf nttfn ustfnfln, fn tutun nu nrf nncn un ctng df ln ncfst lucru, nn spus udnt cnnf!n mnmfn mflf. Ncfnstn nu fstf curfct! Nu cu pncnunrflf, nu cu un trup sntus, nn nncn chnnr cu u mnntf sntuns nu sf snmtf nntfns nnturn. *uhul snngur fstf n stnrf df ncfnstn. Numnn c - pf ncfln nu-l !fzn. )t df multf nu s nf spun pumnn! "cun stnu fn nculu. Nn df nn n ncflnn luc. Fn nu sunt u mntfrnf munrt. 'n pum trnftf. n cum! Fl fstf un urnn plnn df fnfrgnf, un ndf!rnt .pnchft df fnfrgnf/. $n un pum pun s tf umpln df fnfrgnf, n fl fstf cu drng dnspus ln ncfnstn, dnc l rugn pfntru nn cf!n. 'n pum nu fstf murt. Fl puntf snmn! Nltffl dfct nun, dnr tut nn df nntfnsn!. 'n pum snmtf durfrf, dnc n sf prncnnunftf pngun, dnc n dfcu ftn scunrn df f,fmplu snu dnc n tnn rnmurnlf. %trmunn nutrn tnnu nc ncfnstn. &rufnnnrfn df pumn frn funrtf sf!fr pfdfpsnt. )u sngurnn nu dnn cruznmf, cn dnn tfmflnn ncfstfn cununtfrn. .&umul mfu/, ncfln frn u znd mnrf, mrfn nprunpf df prul mnc. *f sfculf sf nfln fn n ncflnn luc, tcut n df!utnt. 'n f,fmplu df mudfl pfntru smfrfnnf n rndnrf. )t df mult nm putfn nun n!n df ln pumn, dnc nun nf-nm lun tnmp sprf ncfst lucru! *nc tf prfgtftn suflftftf nsuprn unun pum snu n unfn plnntf, pun snmn uscnlnnnlf, cnrf sf rspndfsc df ln ncfstfn. &un s fncn schnmn sf sfntnmfntf f,nct nn cn n cu un um. 'm pum puntf s-n fnf un prnftfn. Fl fstf u fptur n lun *umnfzfu cn nun, nscut dnn drngustfn $un. )flf cnncn snmurn nlf nunstrf nu pfrmnt ncfnst rfcunutfrf. ' pfrsunn cu hnndncnp ns, n crun duh prnmftf mnn mult spnnu lnnfr prnn tulnurnrfn snmurnlur, puntf ndfsfn s !nd n spntflf ncfstur lucrurn n sf snmtf nnstnnctn! lfgnt df nntur. %urn Mngdnlfnn trfnunn s fnn tnut df ncfst lucru. Fn lun mult ustfnfnl nsuprn fn, pfntru n nf ducf nfnr nn df dfs pf ct frn pusnnnl. Fn rfunsf, cn nun s n n!fm !unf u dnt s cununtfm cu un nutunuz mprf urnmfn nprupnnt. Frn fnfcnrf zn u zn df srntunrf. *fsngur, frn ustfnntur, s mpnngn scnunflf cu rutnlf pfstf crrnlf df pdurf, dnr fu n sunt funrtf mulumntunrf pfntru fnptul, c fn nf-n drunt multf nsfmfnfn urf ffrncntf. Mnn nc un lucru n putut s nmpun fn, df un nn df cnd fn n !fnnt ln nun. &n ncum nu nu f,nstnt nnnmnlf. Nu n fust !unf. Fn ns n ndus ctf!n pnsncn, pf cnrf mn urntntfn dnntrf nun lf-nu prnmnt cu mnrf drng, nn c nncn nu mnn putfn fn !urnn df !rfu sfpnrnrf. Nntrf tnmp n!fm df n zfcf pnsncn n trfn cnnn mncn, cnrf sf snmt funrtf nnnf ln nun. &fntru un um hnndncnpnt fstf un nnnmnl u mnrf nnnfcu!ntnrf. )untnnn sn nu cunstrunftf .dnffrfnf df rnng/ n nncn nu trfnunf s du!fdfnsc, c fl fstf ncfln putfrnnc. 'n um cu hnndncnp puntf cu snmurnlf snlf s nnsunrn ntru tutul un nnnmnl. n ntuncn cnd nu mnn f,nst .dnffrfnf df rnng/, ntuncn df!nnf nnnmnlul un prnftfn, ntuncn nrf fnfcnrf fnnnn crfnt df *umnfzfu ncflfnn drfpturn - n tutul, cf fstf n lun *umnfzfu, trnftf. 3 +nnn mfn n fust dnntr-u dnt nn df plnn, df cnd n!fnm !unf s n ut pf nlnn. 0n fnfcnrf zn m nprupnnm df *umnfzfu prnn rugcnunf n mfdntnnf n Fl mn trnmntfn n utur spnrntunl, nculu undf frn nf!unf df fl. Fu nm n!ut !unf s !nndfc snu s nmflnurfz nuln, nm n!ut !unf s dnu curn n nlnnnrf, nm n!ut !unf s nltur dnn drum nnrnfrf, cnrf nu nprut ntrf *umnfzfu n cfn cf cutnu. Fu nm n!ut !unf s n n ut pf muln s scnpf df grfutntfn lur, nm n!ut !unf s-n flnnfrfz df umnrf. *nr n unnn dnn .nmprnn umnrflur/ sf lsnu cundun cu drng. Nu sunt dunr duhurn rflf# dfsfurn sunt n .suflftf srncf/, cnrf nu nu gsnt nc drumul. )n sunt n znun df nstzn cnrf nu mnn crfd ntr-u !nn df dup munrtf! Fn sunt cun!nnn, c sf tfrmnn tutul dup munrtf. Nm putfn fn df prfrfn, c dup munrtf fn sf !ur cun!nngf df cuntrnrnul prunlfmfn. Nncn dnn grffnl! Mnn nlfs ntuncn, cnd fn mur nfntfptnt, nu sunt dfluc prfgtnn, df unncfn nu tnu nncn mcnr, cf s-n ntmplnt df fnpt. &fntru unul cnrf trnftf sun ncfstf cu!nntf funrtf cnudnt. *nr dnc sf punf cnnf!n n ncfnst sntunnf, sf puntf nflfgf*nc unul crfdf, c dup cf n murnt fstf .murt/, ntuncn nu-n trfcf gndul prnn cnp, c fl s-n nflnt, cn fl fstf df prfrfn, c nu n murnt. Fl trntf, n pfntru c dup munrtf ftn .murt/, nu fstf pusnnnl cn fl s fn murnt! Ncfst

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lucru fstf lugnc dunr, snu nu( Fl unsfr! ntr-ndf!r c cf!n nu fstf n urdnnf, dnr fl nu-n puntf f,plncn ncfnstn. Fl nu fstf undf!n n .lumfn df npun/ nnnf sfpnrnt snu ntr-un luc strnn numnt .purgnturnu/. Fl fstf n cuntnnunrf nculu, f,nct nculu, undf fl n murnt. n fl puntf !fdfn n nuzn tutul, chnnr n mnn nnnf dfct nnnntf. $un n sf pnrf dunr cnudnt, c cfnlnln l .lns dfupnrtf/, c fn nu mnn !urnfsc cu fl. Fu nm !zut muln, cnrf nnu cuntnnunt sfr!ncnul! Fn !fnfnu cum frnu unnnunn ncns pfntru n mncn, durmn n mfrgfnu ln mfcnurnlf df futnnl. Fn nu unsfnr! nncn fnptul, c put dfudnt trfcf prnn zndurn n un nchnsf. Muln prn!fsc pruprnn lur nmurmntnrf n sf ntrfnn, cf s-n ntmplnt nnrn. $n sf pnrf ntr-ndf!r cnudnt, c fstf tut tnmpul ntt df ntunfrnc, c sunrflf nu mnn rsnrf, c nu mnn pluu dfluc. *nr fn nu n dnu sfnmn, cf s-n ntmplnt ntr-ndf!r. Muln nn ln nnumntf lucrurn lumftn, pf cnrf lf-nu nunnt, fnf un dulnp, u lnp funrtf frumuns, u cnrtf, cnsn lur snu un nnstrumfnt muzncnl. Fn nu sf put dfsprnndf df cffn cf fstf mntfrnnl. )hnnr dnc ncfstf cu!nntf sun n fn dnn pu!ftn, sunt tutun ndf!rntf! % nu nf nmngnnm ncum nmfdnnt, nn df pnrc nun nm fn .dnnculu/ cu cunutnnn nunstr. Nn s-nr prfn nmfdnnt nltffl mprf urrnlf. *nr cunutnnn nu mnn fstf! *unr fncf pnrtf dnn curp, n ncfln fstf murt! 2mnf dunr suflftul spnrntunl. n ln ncfn unmfnn, cnrf nu s-nu ucupnt df fn n tnmpul !nfnn, fstf ct sf puntf df srnc. Fn fstf .hnndncnpnt spnrntunl/, n ncfnstn n cfn mnn mnrf msur. Ncum sf put nflfgf mnn nnnf ncfstf rfncnn. *uhurnlf sunt dfsfurn mrgnnntf n trfnnn lur prnn rudflf lur nprupnntf. )t df dfs sf ntmpl, c u .sunf nunntunrf/ nu nflfgf pur n snmplu, c suul fn n murnt. Fn n punf cn df unncfn mncnrf n fnrfurnf, !urnftf cu fl cn n nlt dnt, l durftf nprunpf. %nu ntuncn cnd munrf un cupnl, pf cnrf mnmn nu !rfn s-l lnsf s plfcf! Fstf cfl mnn ru lucru, cf sf puntf ntmpln ncfstur suflftf. Fn sunt prnnn n ncfn nunptf n dfsfurn nu nf!unf df funrtf mult tnmp, pn cnd fn gsfsc drumul cfl drfpt. n ct df uur put fn fn n utnn. "rfnunf dunr s-$ rugnn pf 7rnstus, cn Fl s trnmnt un ngfr, cnrf s lf nrntf drumul. Nun trfnunf s nf rugm pfntru ncfnn cnrf nu murnt. Muln sunt nfn uturnn, n cununtfrfn lur fstf fgnl cu cfn n unun cupnl! Fstul nf-n ntrfcut n ncfnstn. 0n "nnft f,nst nn znsn .cnrtf tnnftnn pfntru murn/. ' pnrtf fstf cntnt cu rfgulnrntntf cflun cnrf n dfcfdnt curnd. Ncfnst cnrtf cunnnf tutul, cf trfnunf s tnf fl dfsprf !nnnn df dup munrtf n dfsprf drumul pf cnrf trfnunf s-l mfnrg. Fstf cfl mnn mnrf n utur, cnrf n sf puntf uffrn unun dfcfdnt, dnc fstf *umnfzfu rugnt, cn Fl s-l cunduc sprf drumul cfl drfpt. Nu fstf drfpt cn s fnn df nfcunsulnt ln munrtfn unun um drng. Fu nm trnt ncfnstn chnnr cu tntl mfu. Fl n fust ns ntt df n!nnsnt spnrntunl, c nu n fust rfnnut df ncfst lucru. Muln sunt nc mult prfn unmfnn, cn s punt s stpnfnsc sntunnn. Fn !ur s-n cunsulfzf rudflf n rmn nc mult tnmp mprfun cu flf, nnr ncfst lucru fstf n dffn!unrfn dfz!ultrnn lur. *rngustfn nu nsfnmn, s uprftn pf cnnf!n n dfz!ultnrfn sn. Nnsfnmn n prnmul rnd, s-l lnn s-n mfnrg drumul, dnc fstf pfntru fl mnn nnnf n mnn frumus n s tf nucurn mprfun cu fl! F,nst multf pupunrf, ln cnrf munrtfn unun um fstf u ffstn!ntntf. % tnf fn unrf mnn mult, dfct lumfn cn!nlnznt( Munrtfn nu fstf nncnudnt u cunncndfn, nncnudnt! Nu fstf ncn mcnr u pfdfnps! &fntru nnmfnn! Munrtfn nsfnmn tfrmnnnrfn unun stngnu df dfz!ultnrf. Fstf f,nct ncflnn lucru, cn ln un studnu. "untf mntfrnnlf trfnunf s fnf ucupntf. Nu fstf df fulus, dnc ncfln, cnrf fstf ductur n df!fnnrf, prnmftf urf dunr ln nnntumnf. Nmfdnnt dup cf fl n n!nt ncfnstn, d fl un tfst n ucup u mntfrnf cnrf l ducf sprf spfcnnlnznrf. *nc nu trfcf tfstul, ntuncn trfnunf cn fl s rfpftf dnn nuu cursul. %f mnn puntf ntmpln, c nu trfcf ntr-u nnumnt spfcnnlntntf n tfstulun su, n ntuncn trfnunf fl s rfpftf dunr ncfn pnrtf. Nnr *umnfzfu fstf un pruffsur mnlustn!! Fl nu lns pf cnnf!n s cnd dffnnntn!. Fnfcnrf puntf s rfpftf tfstul. *nr fl trfnunf s tfrmnnf n cursul cnrf fncf pnrtf dnn ncfl tfst. *f ncffn, fnfcnrf ntrfnnrf dup un .*f cf/ fstf nnutnl! )ursul s-n tfrmnnnt, n u nlt mntfrnf sf !n prfdfn n urmturul sfmfstru. Nnmfnn nu cununtf .stnrfn df dfz!ultnrf/ n cflunlnlt. *f ncffn nu puntf spunf nnmfnn- )f rust n n!ut, dnc un cupnl n murnt df n dup duu znlf df ln nntfrfn sn. )hnnr n snrcnnn, dnr mnn nlfs nntfrfn, n chnnr n munrtfn fnc pnrtf dnn mntfrnnlf nunstrf df tfstnrf! Flf cunnn nttfn trnrn, c nncnudnt nu !n fn fr rust, s trnftn .dunr/ ncfst lucru. n muln sunt nf!zturn. 'nul cnrf !fdf ru puntf s !nd lunn. *nr nfnumrntflf n nmfnsflf stflf fl nu lf !n !fdfn nncnudnt. *nr u pusnnnlntntf nrf fl cn s punt nfln ncfnstn- crfdnnn! Fstf nnnf, dnc nn !unf s n un. % nccfpn ns n uturul, s m lns n utnt, ncfst lucru n fust u trnrf nmpurtnnt pfntru mnnf. n fu sunt mulumnt n ffrncnt dnn ncfnst cnuz. *nr cu ct df mult fstf mnn frumus, s pun n utn! *rngustfn fstf cn un numfrnng. Ndf!rntul fgunst fmntf drngustfn, ntt df mult ct puntf fl. Fl u prnmftf ns df sutf df urn nnpun. )u nnnnn fnfcnrf prucfdfnz nn. Nn dfpunf n nnnc, cn s nduc dunnzn. *nr drngustfn, !rfn fnfcnrf s-u nn pfntru fl. )um puntf s nduc ntuncn dunnzn( *umnfzfu trnmntf fr ntrfrupfrf drngustf, drngustf curnt. Fl prnmftf df ncffn cfl mnn mult nnpun. )ffn, cf fstf dfscrns prnn fgunsm, fstf f,nct cuntrnrnul. Fstf !urnn df cnnf!n, cnrf n f,punf fguul Andnc pf snnf nsunB n f,tfrnur, fstf ncfln, cnrf nu fstf prfgtnt s n utf n s drunnsc, n cnrf strngf !nlurn mntfrnnlf pfntru snnf. )t df nfffrncnn sunt n rfnlntntf ncftn unmfnn! )t df dfs trfnunf s sf dfspnrt, ct df dfs trfnunf s fug df nlnn, dfunrfcf fn sunt df prfrf, c mnn put prnmn n nlt pnrtf cf!n, cf nc lf lnpfstf! )u tuntf c sunt nugnn, cu tuntf c nu multf nctn!ntn n schnmnrn prfmnnfntf, fn srcfsc cu tutul n nntfrnurul lur. )nnf n cnut ffrncnrfn dunr n lucrurn mntfrnnlf, ncfln n lns spnrntul s munr df funmf n chnnurn! )nnf nn n ncfnrc s mnncf ct mnn mult dnn pr nturn, cnrf fstf pfntru tun, ncfln nu trfnunf s sf mnrf, dnc n sf fncf ru dup ncffn. Ndf!rntul fgunsm fstf ncfln, dnc fu fnc cf!n cf mn nducf un nfnnfncnu, n cf put s pstrfz dup ncffn pfntru mnnf! )fl mnn trznu ntuncn cnd sf nnstnlfnz munrtfn sf .cunfnsc/ nunurnlf mntfrnnlf, dnc nu mnn df!rfmf dnn cnuzn lucrrnlur mflf rflf. Ndf!rntul fgunst strngf cumurn spnrntunlf. )cn pf ncflfn lf puntf lun cu fl n pf lng ncfnstn prnmftf n dunnd, nnr fnfcnrf nnnchnfr nr n!fn dnn cnuzn ncfnstn lncrnmn n uchn.

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Fu nm supurtnt multf durfrn n ultnmn !rfmf. )u tuntf ncfstfn nm fust fu ffrncnt. % nnn cnnf!n nf!unf df tnnf, s nn !unf s n un, s lucrn nctn! n mnrfn crfnnf n lun *umnfzfu, cf lucru puntf fn, unrf, mnn frumus( )nnf nu n n!ut nncnudnt ncfstf sfntnmfnt, fstf cfl mnn srnc um dnn lumf. 0ntr-u slu n fstf ncfstn cfl mnn nurmnl lucru. *nc nrf cnnf!n un ff nun, sf strdunftf, cum puntf fl mnn nnnf. Fl ncfnrc, sf df!nn df nfprfunt n sf nucur ntuncn cnd l lnud fful su n n d df nflfs, c nrf nf!unf df fl. n n !nn, s fnf unrf chnnr ntt df dnffrnt(

3 Nntr-u zn l-nm ntrfnnt pf Mnchnfl- Nm n uns fu ncum ntt df dfpnrtf cn Nnnndn 2nmn( Nncnudnt nu l-nm !zut fu mnn surprnns. Fu !d df n, c tu nu nn n!nt cfl mnn nmpurtnnt lucru, n tu nu-l !fn nflfgf, nttn tnmp ct !fn n!fn gndurn fgunstf. Fu nm !rut s prutfstfz, fu nm !rut s-n spun, c nm df!fnnt un f,fmplu n drngustfn n umnlnn. Fu nu-n fnc nnmnun !rfun rfpru, chnnr dnc sunt trntnt cu nfdrfptntf. Fu nunfnm pf tunt lumfn, n utnm spnrntunl pf fnfcnrf, fr !rfu dnffrfn. Fu nu m crfdfnm mnn prfsus dfct nltcnnf!n, chnnr n nnnmnlflf n plnntflf lf cunsndfrnm fnrnn n sururnlf mflf. *nr Mnchnfl, cnrf putfn s-mn cntfnsc gndurnlf cn ntr-u cnrtf dfschns, nu n nccfptnt nncn u scuz. "u nn drfptntf, mn-n spus fl. )u tuntf ncfstfn, tu nu nn trfcut nc df ultnmul unstncul. Fstf grfu df f,plncnt, dnr fstf n mnn grfu df nflfs. "u n nunftn pf tun, spun tu. Ncfst lucru fstf drfpt. "u ftn funrtf ffrncnt df ncfst lucru, tf nucurn ntuncn cnd drngustfn tn fstf nccfptnt, tf nucurn df zmnftul df mulumnrf nl cflunlnlt, snu nu( *n, nm spus fu, Ncfst lucru fstf ndf!rnt! Ndf!rntn drngustf nu nrf nf!unf df succfs! Fn sf nucur dunr df fnptul c puntf nunn. Fn nu ntfnpt nncn u rfncnf. *nc tu tf nucurn ntuncn cnd drngustfn tn fstf nccfptnt, ntuncn ftn nutumnt trnst, dnc fn fstf rfspnns, snu nu( *n, nm spus fu, ncfst lucru fstf drfpt! *nr dnc tf fncf ffrncnt dunr fnptul, c nn !unf s dnn drngustf, fr s cnun succfsul( Ntuncn fu nu mnn put fn nfffrncnt! +fzn tu ncum dnffrfnn( *nc nm nunn nun cn n mn urntntfn unmfnnlur, ntuncn nr fn cfrul un ndf!rnt nnd! &lnn df trnstff n suprnrf! )t df dfs nlung unmfnnn drngustfn nunstr( )t df dfs fstf nruscnt *umnfzfu( Fl nr fn prnn urmnrf cfn mnn nfffrncnt crfntur dnn ntrfngn crfnnf! Nntr-ndf!r, drngustfn fstf cn un numfrnng! *nr dunr drngustfn nnsulut n nfmrgnnnt. *nc f,nst nntfnnn, s ntfpn cf!n n schnmn, ntuncn nu fstf nun prnncnpnul. *nr drngustfn, cnrf pur n snmpul nunftf numnn, n utur, cnrf fstf dunr n utur, pfntru c cfllnlt nrf nf!unf df fl, dunr pfntru fnptul c f,nst ncfn pfrsunn, ncfnstn fstf ntuncn drngustf ndf!rnt. *unr fn fncf ffrncnt pf !fcn, n urncf trnstff n nn sfrntul. Ncfnstn nu nsfnmn, c nun suntfm urnn n nu putfm !fdfn suffrnnn. )hnnr dnn cuntr! *nc un cupnl sf nccndfntfnz grn!, df rfgul puntf unul dnn nfnr, cnrf sf cuncfntrfnz nsuprn cupnlulun, s-l n utf mult mnn nnnf dfct mnmn, cnrf fstf cuprnns df trnstff n df durfrf, n cnrf trfnunf s sf luptf cu pruprnnlf fn sfntnmfntf. ' pnuz lung m-n lsnt snngur cu sfntnmfntflf mflf. )f tnnm fu dfsprf drngustf( )f tnu unmfnnn df fnpt dfsprf drngustf( Nu f,nst prunnnnl un nlt cu!nt cnrf nrf nttfn pusnnnlntn. )f tf nucur mnn mult, s n un pf unul snngur, snu pf mnn muln( &f mnn muln, nnnfnflfs! Mnchnfl zmnfn n ncfst lucru fstf grfnt. Fstf unul mnn nfnmpurtnnt dfct mnn muln( Fnfcnrf fstf ln ffl df nmpurtnnt cn cfllnlt. Nu fstf nn cn n ln mfrf, undf duu cntrfsc mnn mult dfct unul snngur. Fnfcnrf nrf fnnnn sn pruprnf. 0n tunt crfnnn nu f,nst duu fnnnf cnrf s fnf ln ffl. *f cffn fstf nmpurtnnt fnfcnrf. *nc nr fn tun ln ffl, ntuncn nn n!fn tu drfptntf. )nncn nr fn ntuncn mnn nmpurtnnn dfct unul snngur. *nr fnfcnrf fstf nltffl, n fflul su fstf df nfnlucunt. *nc tu nn un cfns cu cnncnzfcn df rutnf, n tu nlturn dunr unn snngur, ntuncn cfnsul nu mnn funcnunfnz. &un tu ntuncn s spun, c cflflnltf pntruzfcn n nuu df rutnf sunt mnn nmpurtnntf dfct ncfn unn( )u sngurnn nu! nnf nnnf mnntf cf n spun- fnfcnrf fstf nmpurtnnt, ln ffl cn urncnrf nltul. n *umnfzfu nu lns pf nncn unul s sf prpdfnsc. Nncn mcnr unul! *nr !n fn nf!unf ln unnn df ustfnfln mnn mnrn, s-n nducn nnrn pf cnlfn cfn nun, dfct ln nlnn. *nc tu n nrn numnn unun snngur um cnlfn cfn drfnpt, n n!ut !nnn tn cfl mnn mnrf sfns, n tu nu ftn cu nnmnc mnn punn !nluruns n nu nn nfptunt cu nnmnc mnn punn, dfct dnc nn fn n utnt tu cnncnzfcn df unmfnn. *umnfzfu nu fstf un nfgutur df nnnmnlf. Fl nu punf fnptflf pf cntnr, Fl nu msunr n =nlugrnmf snu n chnntnlf. Fl msunr dunr drngustfn, pf cnrf tu nn f,pfdnnt-u. Numnn pfntru ncfnstn ftn tu rfspunsnnnl. %uccfsul, pf ncfstn ls-l n sfnmn lun *umnfzfu. Muln fufnz n ncfnstn. Fu tf-nm dus nlnlt-nfrn n mfdnntnnf ln dunmnn Hnfgflnnufr. "u nn ncfrcnt s-u nlnnn. Fn fstf un f,fmplu df f,cfpnf pfntru ncfnstn. Fn sf plngf mfrfu, c nu f,nst nnmfnn, pf cnrf l puntf n utn. Fn nrf dunr numnn ussflf-ul fn. Fn nr !rfn cu ntt df mult drng s-n n utf pf tun unmfnnn, nr punf cu ntt df mult drng lumfn rfn n urdnnf n l nn!nnunftf pf *umnfzfu, c fl nu-n d nncn u ucnznf, s

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nfptunnsc fnptf mnn mnrn. n df nttn cumptnmnrf df snnf fn nu fstf n stnrf, s-n n utf Gussflf-ulun fn. Numnn pfntru ncfstn fstf fn nnumf nncn. Fl nrf nf!unf urgfnt df n uturul fn, fl sf dnstrugf, dnc fn fncf nstffl mnn dfpnrtf, n fn n-nr putfn dn nn df mult, c !nnn fn s-nr fn rfntnt df zfcf urn. Nngrn ftf-tf n tnmpul urmtur dnn cnd n cnd df fn, n ncfnrc s-n fncn ncfnstn lnmpfdf. Mnn f,nst nc tutun spfrnn n prn!nnn fn. )n !ur s uncf pf pustul df unmfnn cnrf mnuntfsc lumfn, sf cumplnc cn mnrn !urnnturn, n dfmunstrnnn n n clunurn, dnr nu !d, c ncfln, cnrf sf nfl lng fn, sf dnstrugf, pfntru c fn nu-l unsfr!, pfntru c fl lf pnrf mult prfn nfnmpurtnnt, pfntru c fn nu-l nunfsc, pfntru c fn n rfnlntntf sf nunfsc numnn pf fn nnn. tnn tu ncum, cf fstf drngustfn( &unn nnntut nm dnt fu dnn cnp. Nu fnn trnst. n pfstf ncfst unstncul !fn mnn trfcf tu nc, ntrfngn !fnncnf sf nfl n fnn tn. Nncn fu nu nm tfrmnnnt cu n!turn. Nnmfnn n-n tfrmnnnt !rfudnt cu n!turn. *umnfzfu fstf ntt df nfmrgnnnt, c !fnncnn nu fstf ndfn uns, pfntru n-$ cuprnndf pf dfplnn. *nr ncfnstn fstf chnnr pnrtfn frumuns. &lnctnsfnl nu f,nst nncnudnt. n n!nrfn n muncn nu sunt, cn pf pmnt, lfgntf df ustfnfnl. % n!m n s muncnm fstf cfn mnn nnlt nucurnf pfntru nun. *nc tu nn nflfs drngustfn curnt, ntuncn put fu ncum s-n rspund ln ntrfnnrfn tn- "u ftn df mult df n mult mnn dfpnrtf dfct Nnnndn 2nmn. Nfncrfztunrf m-nm untnt fu ln fl. )um fstf pusnnnl ncfnstn, dfunrfcf fl nfptunftf tutun nn df mnrn fnptf, dfunrfcf fstf fl nn df nflfpt n nun.( "u gndftn df n nnrn ntr-un mud curnt umfnfsc. Nu dup nflfpcnunf trfnunf tu s tf ustfnftn, nu dup fnptf multf. "u trfnunf s-$ nunftn pf *umnfzfu mnn mult dfct pf tnnf nsun n pf nprunpflf tu cn pf tnnf nsun! Ncfnstn fstf tutul! Nstn nsfnmn ns, unt-tf mnn ntn, cn tu s n ungn ln *umnfzfu. Nnsus 7rnstus n numnt cnlfn- Fu sunt cnlfn. Nnmfnn nu puntf n ungf ln "ntl dfct prnn Fnul. *nr, cn df unncfn, nu sf mulumfsc unmfnnn cu cffn, cf cntfsc fn, fn trfnunf s schnmnf nmfdnnt sfnsul. )u ncfnstn nr fn !urnn dfsprf .cuntnfnn lun 7rnstus/. 7rnstus, ncfstn nm fn nun tun, ncfstn nr fn prnncnpnul drngustfn n mnn multf nltflf. Nu! Nnsus spunf funrtf clnr- Fu sunt cnlfn! n Fl s-n rfffrnt ln ncfnstn tf,tunl. )nnf !rfn ntr-ndf!r s n ung ln *umnfzfu, cnnf !rfn s unnn ndf!rnt stnrf df cupnl nl lun *umnfzfu, ncfln trfnunf s mfnrg cnlfn prnn Nnsus 7rnstus. ' nlt cnlf nu f,nst! n ncfnst cnlf sf puntf gsn numnn pf pmnt. )nnf n-n gsnt-u nncn, ncfln n-u !n gsn nncn .dnnculu/! 'nnn nugn n sfnnn, fn nu rfunt funrtf multf, fn nu n uns funrtf dfpnrtf, dn, fn put fnn funrtf nprunpf df *umnfzfu. Fn nu muncnt mult pfntru ncfnstn, nu lunt multf nsuprn lur, nu ndus multf frtff n nu trnt multf lnpsurn n rugcnunf n cnn. Fn nu ndunnt funrtf mult nflfpcnunf. *nr ultnmn u n-u put dfschndf dnn pruprnn putfrf. &f fn u dfschndf Nnsus 7rnstus dunr ncflurn, cnrf l rung umnln pfntru ncfst lucru. Ncfstn fstf cfl mnn mnrf sfcrft nl ntrfgnn crfnnn. Nnnndn 2nmn s-n dfz!ultnt funrtf dfpnrtf. Fl nrf df n df mult ncfnst prfsnmnrf. Fn l-n ndus nncn. *rngustfn lun fstf nn df putfrnnc, fn l !n ducf ntr-un tnmp scurt snu lung ln Nnsus 7rnstus. *nr ncfnstn trfnunf s fnf dfcnznn lun lnnfr. %-l unlngf sprf ncfst lucru, nu nrf nnmfnn !unf. Fl nsun trfnunf s mfnrg cnlfn ln Nnsus 7rnstus. Fl prnmftf ncflfnn n utunrf cn fnfcnrf. *fcnznn trfnunf ns s-u prncnnunnsc !unnn lun lnnfr. Multur unmfnn nflfpn lf fstf funrtf, funrtf grfu, s sf nplfcf n umnlnn. *f ncffn nu fstf nncn ncfnst cnlf cfn mnn uunr. *nr Nnnndn 2nmn !n rfun ncfst lucru. Ncfstn !n fn n succfsul tu. Nnrn m-nm untnt ln fl nfncrfztunrf. Fl tf-n !nzntnt ndfsfn, !un suntfn df n df mult tnmp lfgnn cu u lfgtur putfrnnc n drngustfn. %mfrfnnn tn n supunfrfn tn ndnc fn df Nnsus 7rnstus nu culurnt pn ln cnpt nsuprn lun n sunt n mumfntul, df n-n dfschndf uchnn. +fzn tu ncum, cf fstf drngustfn( Fr n n!fn nntfnnn df succfs, nducf fn u mnnunf dup cfnlnlt ln suprnfn. Nu df nflfpcnunf nn tu nf!unf. *nc *umnfzfu nr fn numnn nflfpcnunf, Fl n-nr fn ndus nncnudnt crfnnn $un ln !nn. Fl nr fn df!fnnt un fnluzuf snngurntnc n s-nr fn nucurnt df nflfpcnunfn %n pn n tuntf !fnncnnlf. Nu! *umnfzfu fstf nunnrf! n drngustfn nu-n u tnnn n duhulun. *rngustfn nu ducf cu!ntrn nflfptf. *rngustfn puntf fn numnn trnt. *rngustfn sf rspndftf mfrfu, ccn, nltffl, fn nu mnn fstf drngustf ndf!rnt. n s sf rspndfnsc puntf drngustfn numnn ntuncn, cnd fstf cnnf!n, cnrf puntf s-u prfnn. %nngurul lucru pf cnrf *umnfzfu l !rfn df ln nun, fstf, cn nun s-$ nunnm dnn !unnn nunstr lnnfr n dnn tunt nnnmn. Fl nsun n ndus ncfnst drngustf n lumf. n numnn prnn Fl, prnn Nnsus 7rnstus, puntf fn unnnut ncfnst cfn mnn nnlt drngustf. Nnflfpcnunfn nf !n n!n ntuncn *umnfzfu. Nntrfngn !fnncnf st ln dnspuznnf pfntru ncfnstn. Ncfnstn fstf cnlfn! )utnn mnn ntn mprnn lun *umnfzfu n drfptntfn $un n tuntf ncfstfn sf !ur ndugn !uu. Numnn ncfnstn cuntfnz! Nnmnc nltcf!n! Muln cu u crfdnn putfrnnc trfnunf nstzn s sf mnn lnsf nnt ucurnn, dnn cnuzn .snmplncntnn/ lur. Fn nu sf ustfnfsc dup dftfptcnunf n cunutnn umfnfnsc. Fn crfd pur n snmplu n nunfsc n tunt smfrfnnn. Ffrncnn cfn srncn cu duhul, c n lur fstf mprnn cfrurnlur! Nnumf- ffrncnn ncfnn, cnrf crfd smfrnn, fr cn s trfnunnsc mfrfu s ntrfnf df ndnt sfnsul tuturur lucrurnlur! &rn!fghfnn, n spus Nnsus. n %ntnn dfnnf cununtfrf n mnrf putfrf. n rul fstf n stnrf s nfptunnsc mnnunn n lucrurn mnrn. *nr un snngur lucru nu puntf- s nunfnsc! &fntru c ntuncn nu mnn fstf fl ru! )t df multur unmfnn lf fstf nstzn grfu, s sf ntnfzf df nnsfrnc rfspfctn! s sf sunurdunfzf, ln cnrf multf lucrurn sunt pf dus. Muln prsfsc mnn dfgrnn ntrfgul ndf!r, dfct s suffrf unflf lucrurn, cf nu sunt curfctf. Fn nu

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rfnlnzfnz, c sntnn n ptruns df n df mult n nnsfrnc n n nfnurucnt-u pnrnnl ntr-un mud funrtf urt. *nr tucmnn ncfnstn fstf tutun du!ndn pfntru mprnn lun 7rnstus. %ntnn nu fncf nncnudnt cf!n fr sfns. Fl n-nr ncfrcn cu tunt putfrfn, s dnstrug nnsfrncn, dnc fl n-nr tn f,nct, c fn n !n frngf ntr-u zn gtul. %fr!ncnul sfcrft tutun nu spnunfnz df rfgul prnftfnul. Nu, dnr n gu!frnul dumnn ptrundf fl n ncfnrc s n ung n cflf mnn nnltf pusturn! n dnc fl s-n fcut stpn pf un gu!frn, ntuncn tutun nu dnstrugf gu!frnul pn ln munrtf. %f ncfnrc mult mnn mult, s fnf ndfprtnn snnuturnn n s sf rfstnnnlfnsc nnrn strn urdunntf. *nc cnnf!n fstf nulnn!, n !un l ducfn ln ductur, ntuncn fl dunr nu-l umunr df tut, cn ncfnrc s-l n utf! *f cf nu fncfn !un cu nncfrncn tut nn( Fn sf nsfnmn cu u curnnnf, cnrf s-n gurnt n nmfnn s sf scufundf. *nc tun lnulnlt nr n utn, nr fn rfpfdf rfpnrnt lucul cu prncnnn, n curnnnn nr putfn s-n cuntnunuf clturnn fn. 0n luc df ncfnstn sf scnp fr mnntf muln n nrcnlf df snl!nrf. Numnn c - rmul sngur nu-l n ung fn nstffl nncnudnt. Furtunnlf !nfnn n fnc pf cfn mnn muln dnntrf fn s sf scufundf! *nr df cf pfrmntf *umnfzfu, cn muln dnntrf cupnnn $un s fnf nlungnn nfnr dnn nnsfrnc( *f cf nu nntfr!nnf Fl( &fntru c *umnfzfu nu-n ncnlc nncnudnt pruprnnlf %nlf lfgn! *nc Fl nr nntfr!nnn dnrfct, nr dnstrugf Fl tutun !unnn lnnfr n unmfnnlur. Ncfnstn n-u puntf Fl !rfn nncnudnt. *nr Fl ncurd nn df mult sprn nn! n nncn nu sunt ncftnn AncB cupnnn $un, cnrf sunt nlungnn nfnr. )upnnn $un l cunusc n l nunfsc. n drngustfn nccfpt n umnlnrn, fn puntf supurtn multf n puntf s trfnc multf cu !fdfrfn. Ncfnn cnrf sf snmt dfrnn nn df tuntf, ncfnn cnrf crntnc n cundnmn tuntf, ncfnn nc nu nu drngustfn. Fu dunr n crfdf, dnc ..., ncfnstn n-u spunf drngustfn nncnudnt. n numnn fn fstf ncffn, cnrf cuntfnz. *nr cnd!n udnt sf !n ntunrcf fnfcnrf. &nldn dfsprf fnul pnfrdut, ncfnstn fstf !nlnnnl pfntru fnfcnrf. 'nnn trfnunf mult tnmp s pftrfnc ntrf strnnn, pn cf fn rfcunusc pruprnn nfputnn n sf rfnturc n smfrfnnf n drngustf ln "ntl. *nr nu fnn df ncffn trnst. 'n sprf "nrl rmnf tutdfnunn dfschns! Fl n-u !n trntn nncnudnt! n nncn unul dnntrf fn nu fstf df ncffn mnn punn !nlurus! "ntl nu fncf dnffrfnnfrn! Fl l nunftf pf fnfcnrf dnntrf cupnnn %n ln ffl, nu fstf nmpurtnnt, ct df mult tnmp n fust fl ntrf strnnn. )nf !nnf ln "ntl, pf ncfln l !n prnmn Fl cu nrnflf dfschnsf. Nncnudnt nu-l !n pfdfpsn - snu chnnr s-l nruncf n fuc! +rfmfn, n cnrf n fust fl ntrf strnnn, ncfstn fstf tnmpul nfnurucnrnn, nl srcnfn, ncfnstn fstf u ndfn uns .pfdfnps/. %ntnn nu nscult cu drng ncfst mfsn . Fl n ncfrcnt df n dnntutdfnunn tutul, s l prfschnmnf n cuntrnrnul lun! n nn df muln sf lns cu plcfrf pclnn df fl. *n! *nr trfnunf tutun s f,nstf u pusnnnlntntf, s rupn stpnnrfn lun, s n sf dfslufnsc fnfcrunn ncfstf lfgturn lugncf. 'ntf, fu tf nm pf tnnf. Fr tnnf n-n fn n uns nncnudnt nn df dfpnrtf. *f cf n-nu tun un ngfr, cnrf n cunducf( Mnchnfl s-n untnt stupffnnt ln mnnf. Nu tnn ncfst lucru( Fnfcnrf nrf un ngfr! Numnn c nncn tu nu pun s !fzn nc tutul! Fnfcrunn n st un ngfr nlturn, tut nn cn n fu nf. n fnfcnrf nrf pusnnnlntntfn, s nn cuntnct cu ngfrul su. )fn mnn muln cupnn mncn mnn put nc s sf untf n lumfn nunstr. *nr, df ndnt cf fn put !urnn n put pu!fstn dfsprf ncfnstn, lf fstf scuns ncfnstn dnn cnp cn fnnnd u nnurfnl df fnntfznf. Mfrfu nnrn ncfrcm nun s nf fncfm unsfr!nnnln n lf dm unmfnnlur gndurn nunf. *nr dnc fn lf ndupt pf ncfstfn, ncfnstn sf nfl n !unnn lur lnnfr. *nc pf cnnf!n l lu!ftf cuntnnnn snu dnc !nn scrupulf, ntuncn sf nfl funrtf dfs ngfrul su n spntflf ncfstur lucrurn. *nr cfl mnn ndfsfn sunt sugfstnnlf lur pur n snmplu dntf ln u pnrtf, n tnmp cf nnsnnurnlf rulun sunt lncum prfluntf. %ntnn n rfunt, cn cfn mnn muln unmfnn s nu mnn crfnd n f,nstfnn nunstr. )um pun ncum s nsculn df cnnf!n, dfsprf cnrf sf crfdf, c fl nncn mcnr nu f,nst( %trfsul znlnnc, hntunnln n nflnnntfn mpnfdnc urncum urncf cuntnct cu lumfn duhu!nncfnsc. Nnumntf snrcnnn df prutfcnf n schnmn f,frcntm nun ntutdfnunn. &fntru fnfcnrf um. Nun prutf m trupul n sumn, cnd duhul mfrgf pf clturnf, nun rfspnngfm ntncurnlf rulun nsuprn !nfnnlur !unstrf, cflf multf nccndfntf .dnn ntmplnrf/, pf cnrf fl !n lf-n gtnt. Nns, ncfnst .snrcnn n ngfrulun pzntur/ fstf numnn pnrtfn fnrfnsc, mnn mnc n snrcnnnn nunstrf. "u nn n cnmfrn tn u ncunn ntrnnt, n cnrf un ngfr pzntur cunducf un cupnl pfstf un pud. Ncfnstn fstf u ncunn cu u nur mnnunnt. )nnf n pnctnt-u, ncfln n!fn un cuntnct nntfns cu lumfn duhu!nncfnsc. Fl putfn s-n dfschnd lnrg duhul su n putfn s-n nsufnsc uscnlnnnlf nunstrf, pf cnrf fl lf-n trnnspus n nmngnnf. Nncn fstf !urnn df pudul duhu!nncfsc, cnrf cn u crru ngust ducf dnnculu dnn lumfn mntfrnnl n mprnn lun *umnfzfu. Ncfnstn fstf snrcnnn nunstr pruprnu zns, mult mnn nmpurtnnt. )unducturn duhu!nncfsc !rfm nun s lf fnm unmfnnlur. Numnn c - nncn nrf tucmnn n !unnn lnnfr nntf cu!nnflf df spus. Nun nu n!fm !unf s f,frcntm nncn un ffl df cunstrngfrf. Nun lf-nm prncnnun nltffl unmfnnlur u pngun nrfpnrnnnl. &fntru c dnc !unnn nr fn rupt prnn cunstrngfrf, cfl lnnfr nr df!fnn pfntru tutdfnunn un scln!. Ncfnstn fstf chfnn sprf nflfgfrfn lumnn! n ncfnstn nf fncf snrcnnn nunstr nn df nfsfrnt df grfn. *nr tuntf cflf, cf lf cfrfn df ln nun, n!fm !unf s lf fncfm pfntru !un! "untf cf lf punfn ncrfzturn n mnnnlf nunstrf, lf !um rfzul!n pfntru !un. Ncfnstn fstf tut nn !nlnnnl pfntru lucrurnlf duhu!nncftn ct n pfntru cflf lumftn. +un nncn nu nf putfn fncf prfn mult munc, pfntru c munc n sfnsul !ustru, cnrf fstf lfgnt df ustfnfnl n df tnmp, nu f,nst tutun pfntru nun. )ffn cf ! fstf !uu ustfnfnl, fstf pfntru nun u nucurnf. )u ct mnn multf !un nf ncrfdnnnn, cu ct mnn mult nf lsnn s nfptunm, cu ntt mnn strns !n fn cuntnctul nustru ctrf !un. +un ! putfn lsn purtnn df usnlnnnlf nunstrf, n tuntf cflf, cf !un nn lf ncrfdnnnn, !ur fn nrnn ntf sprf nnnflf !ustru. Nnnfnflfs, sprf nnnflf !ustru! Ncfnstn nsfnmn ns dfsfurn- Nu nn, prfcum !un ! nchnpunn ncfnstn, nncn nfnprnt n tnmpul, pf cnrf l-nn gndnt !un pfntru ncfnstn. )nnf nrf prn!nrf nlnrg, ncfln !fdf cfl mnn ndfsfn nltf n mnn nunf cn, dfct ncfln, cnrf sf nfl mputmulnt n mlntnn. "untf cflf, cf trfnunf !un s lf fncfn, fstf s ! rugnn, s crfdfn, s n!fn ncrfdfrf n s f,frcntnn rndnrf. "ut nn cum fu

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nm fust mfrfu nlturn df tnnf, tut nn fstf ln fnfcnrf. )t df nntfnsn! !n df!fnn rflnnn, ncfnstn sf nfl numnn n mnn !unstr. % crfnd n nun n s tnf dfsprf nun, ncfst lucru l puntf fncf fnfcnrf, cnrf nf nmnfnz prunlfmflf snlf, nunnnd n cu ncrfdfrf, n !n nnf dnntr-u dnt rfzul!nrfn n mnnnlf snlf. N nntrn ntr-un cuntnct duhu!nncfsc cu nun, ncfst lucru sf puntf numnn n lnnntf, prnn rugcnunf n mfdntnnf n rndnrf. )t df mult f,frsnn !un, pfntru n n!n pfrffct u lnmn strnn( )t df muln nnn n!nn !un zn df zn, urf n nr( *nn prncnnn n cf ffl df scupurn mncn dfz!ultnn !un ctfudnt u fnfrgnf n pfrsf!frfn nmfns( n ct df mult tnmp n!fstnn !un znlnnc n curpul !ustru, pfntru n-l nntrfnn n n-l nfrumusfn( Nnmfnn nu-n !n pstrn trupul. 0n prnf nu sf mnn !d muchnn, nncn nu mnn dfrnn fnz rndurnlf. N-nr fn !rfdnnc n ustfnfnln, s-n rfzfr!fzn n fnfcnrf zn ctf!n mnnuntf, pfntru n nntrn n lfgtur cu *umnfzfu n lnnntf n rugcnunf n mfdntnnf( )u *umnfzfu n cu nun, cnrf ! cunducfm dup !unnn $un n ! ncumpnnnm pf cnlfn nsprf Fl! *f n n !nnn !unstr nctunl nn prnmn !un multnplu nnpun tnmpul pf cnrf !un l pftrfcfn n lnnntf. ' lucrnrf, pf cnrf u ncfpfn cu nun, rfuftf! Nnfptunrfn !unstr, ln cnrf !un ! rugnn dup n uturul nustru, nu !n fn fr succfs! )lturnn, pf cnrf u plnunn cu nun n ln cnrf nf lunn cu !un, nu sf !n sfrn n hnus! )fnrtn, pf cnrf nf-u ncrfdnnnn sprf nplnnnrf, fstf df n pf umtntf sfnrnt! Grn nlf !unstrf sf !ur rnsnpn n prunlfmf !unstrf !ur fn rfzul!ntf n umtntf df tnmp! )t df multf lucrurn fncfn !un, n crur succfs !un nu-l cununtfn, pf cnrf !un nu lf putfn !frnfncn( &f nun nf putfn !frnfncn! *f n dup un tnmp scurt! 'ndf fstf u !unn, nculu fstf n u cnlf, n crunn n lnpsftf !unnn, ncflunn nu-n fulusftf nncn cfn mnn lnrg cnlf! +fzn tu ncum, cum s-nu rfzul!nt tuntf( &fntru fnfcnrf fstf pnrcnt n fnn unn u mnnn. *unr s cunduc, trfnunf fl snngur! n dnc nn lns furnt muturul, snu dnc tunrn np n rfzfr!ur, snu dnc lf d !unf prnftfnnlur, s cunstrunnsc dnn run supurturn pfntru spun, ntuncn nu nrf !unf fl s dfn !nnn pf mnnn. *nc !rfn tutun s n ung ln cnptul prupus, trfnunf s mfnrg pf us drumul lung n plnn df unstnculf - snu s-n rfpnrf dnn nuu mnnnn. Fu nm fust ct sf puntf df ngruznt df cffn, cf fu nm nuznt mnn nnnntf. $n ncfst lucru fu nu m-nm gndnt. *f cf sunt unrf unmfnnn ntt df urnn( %ntnnn fstf ntt df dftfpt n df !nclfnn, n nnmfnn nu-n puntf n ungf ln nns n ncfst dumfnnu. Fl lf d unmfnnlur u nucnt df znhr, n n tnmp cf fn l df!urfnz cu lcumnf, lf fur fl mnnnn. *up ncffn spunf, c nu n f,nstnt nncnudnt !rfunn. n cfn mnn muln l crfd pf cu!nt. n muln n mnn nccfpt uffrtn, prnn cnrf sf sf lnsf dun u nucnt dnn drum! Fn sf lns lfgnn ln uchn df fl n nu unsfnr!, c fl n ducf n dnrfcnn upus! 'h, dnc nr tn fn, c ntrfg drumul nnrupt trfnunf s-l pnrcurg pf us! *nr trfnunf cn s tf pun prutf n n !rfun ffl. Nnnfnflfs c fstf pusnnnl! "u tf-nn prutf nt cu mnrf succfs. Nrmflf sunt- rugcnunfn, mfdntnnn - n drngustfn! Mnn nlfs drngustfn! 8 0n znun df rusnlnn m-nm mnuln!nt fu dfudnt ru df tut. ' tumunrf mnrf s-n furmnt n cnpul mfu. Nnupfrnnnl nu sups ducturnn. *nr drngustfn pf cnrf fu nm sdnt-u, n prnns flunrf. Mnnmn m-n lunt nmfdnnt dnn spntnl n m-n ndus lng fn ncns. Fn lucrn ncum dunr umtntf df zn, n n ncfl tnmp n!fn grn u !fcnn df mnnf. Mnmn n trfnunt s rfnunf ln fnurm df mult lucrurn, dnr ncfst lucru nu u mnn dfrnn n prfn tnrf. $ucrurn mntfrnnlf nu mnn nsfmnnu pfntru fn prfn mnrf lucru. Fn nu mnn cunsumn nlcuhul, chnnr n df fumnt s-n lsnt fn. Nu mnn frn nfcfsnr pfntru fn, dfunrfcf fn n-n gsnt lnnntfn. Nprunpf c nr fn nccfptnt chfmutfrnpnn uffrnt. *nr fu nm putut s-u fnc s nflfng, c fu nu durfnm ncfnstn. )hnnr n ducturul n nflfs ncfnst durnn. $n u nstffl df tumunrf nu sunt nnsflf n nn prfn mnrn, n fust prfrfn lun. &untf c nr trn punn mnn mult, dnr cu sngurnn nu !n trn mnn ffrncnt. *nc rmnf lng fn n u ngrn nn, n !n nmnntn cu sngurnn df ultnmnlf clnpf nlf !nfnn. *nc durfrnnlf !ur fn prfn mnrn, ! !un n utn ln urncf ur. Fu nm fust nucuruns c nm prnmnt un ductur nn df nflfgtur. )u tuntf c tnnm cf nsfmnn ncfnst nunl pfntru mnnf, n cu tuntf c m nucurnm n u nccfptnm cu rndnrf, n!fnm tutun punn frnc df cffn cf !n urmn pfntru mnnf. +ur fn unrf durfrnnlf ntt df cruntf( +un putfn unrf s rfznst( )u durfrn pfrmnnfntf frnm unnnunt, n fu putfnm s nfs ln cnpt cu flf. 0n prnmflf lunn frn df supurtnt, fu lunm dunr rnrfurn cnlmnntf. Mnmn sttfn df multf urn lng mnnf. Fn n n!nt s cumunncf cu mnnf n tcfrf. Fr cu!nntf, dunr cu snmurnlf. Fu frnm ntt df nucuruns s !d, ct df dfpnrtf n n uns fn. *f ln Nnnndn 2nmn n n!nt fn s sf rungf n s mfdntfzf, n fn n fust u flf! snlntunrf. Nun nf ndncfnm dfsfurn n lnnntfn spnrntulun n nf unfnm prnntr-u nnnd n drngustfn, nn cum nm cunuscut fu ncfnstn dunr ln tntn. "ntl mfu frn dfsfurn cu nun, n chnnr n mnmn putfn s-n snmt prfzfnn. *f ctf!n urn nm rfunt, s-u nnu pf mnmn sus, s-n nruncf ctf!n .prn!nrn/ n lumfn spnrntunl. )hnnr n frnnn mfn m !nzntnu unfurn. 0ncftul cu ncftul n ncfput n ln fn s sf tupfnsc durntntfn lur n s sf nmunnf nmngnnfn mntfrnnl. %chnmnnrfn mnmfn n-n pus pf gndurn. Fn nu unsfr!nt c nu st n fnn lur .u sur n rugcnunnn/, cnrf n ncfput s-n fnf frnc ln ntrnffs cnrf ncfnrc s snl!fzf, cffn cf nc sf puntf snl!n. +nnrnnnlf fn frn purf n ndf!rntf, drngustfn fn frn nun. Fn nu trfnunn s !urnfnsc multf, sf putfn snmn, sf putfn !fdfn pf chnpul fn. Mult s-n rugnt fn pfntru frnnn mfn, mult s-n gndnt fn ln fn. n .ln!nnn/ fn !n df!fnn ntr-u nun zn funrtf mnrf.

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3 "rfnzfcn n trfn df nnn nm mplnnnt fu nfrn, n tnnm, c ncfnstn !n fn ultnmn mfn zn df srnturnrf. Fu frnm prfgtnt s sufr, frnm ffrncnt, c n!fnm !unf s ndnug n fu nucntn mfn - dnr frnm tuun nucuruns s tnu, c nu !un mnn fn pfnrtu mult tnmp lfgnt df ncfst curp. 'n culn!nfn frn df n dfschns, pnsrfn frn prfgtnt s znunrf, ntfptn dunr sfmnnlul. )u tuntf ncfstfn m npucn ctfudnt tfnmn! Mnchnfl m-n n!frtnznt df n dnn tnmp. Fnn ntfnt, mn-n spus fl, dunnnlf npnr dnn nuu! $n sfrnt mnn strngf nc u dnt %ntnnn mfnghnnn. Fl sf fulusftf df nfsngurnn, rfstul ncfln, cnrf sf nfl ntrf crfdnn n stnnn. Fu nm !zut prfn multf, nm trnt prfn multf, pfntru n dnspfrn. )hnnr n dup cf nu mnn n!fnm putfrf, s m rffugnfz ln Mnchnfl. *nr fu putfnm snmn nfpturnlf df nc, cnrf trfnunnu s m fnc nfsngur, n fu put s-n nflfg pf tun, cnrf sunt stpnnn df dunnn n chnnr dnc sunt crfdnncnun dnu nnpun n sf lupt cu frncn lur. *nr cnnn n n!nt pf !rfmurn nunf s sf rungf, !n putfn trfcf n pfstf ncfstf tfmfrn. Fu frnm nprunpf n ntrfgnmf pnrnlnznt n nu mnn putfnm nncn cu cfn mnn nun !unn s supurt durfrnlf, dunr cucnlmnntf tnrn. Fu df nnnn mnn putfnm s nghnt, mncntul n df!fnnt un chnn. "ut mnn dfs pncnm fu ntr-un sumn ndnc n nncuntnfnt. "ut mnn dfs !fdfnm fu chnpurn n !ns. *f unncfn frn ngfrn, cnrf m !nzntnu n n dfschndfnu cu tnndrff nrnpnlf lur dfnsuprn mfn. *nr mnn frnu n cnucnnturn nfgrf, cnrf sttfnu mnn ln dnstnn ln pnd, dnr cnrf nu rfufnu s sf nprupnf df ncfn ngfrn. Nntr-u nun zn nu !fnnt sprf mnnf trfn mnnunnn n mnrn ngfrn. Fn nu ndus n pfntru mnnf u pfrfchf df nrnpn. )n n fluturnn nf-nm urcnt nun n nfr n nm znurnt sprf sunrf. )fn mnn mnrf ffrncnrf m-n nnundnt pf mnnf. Ntuncn m-nm nturs fu, n nm !zut n dfprtnrf mnrf sun mnnf u cnmfr. Nntr-un pnt frn un curp ndurfrnt, cnrf sf nturcfn dnntr-u pnrtf n cfnlnlt df durfrf n cnrf sf luptn cu munrtfn. ' ffmfnf sttfn n plngfn nfn uturnt nlturn, n spntflf fn sf nflnu dun ngfrn, cnrf u cunsulnu. Ffmfnn s-n untnt n sus ln mnnf - frn mnmn mfn! Fu frnm ncfnn, cnrf sf zntfn nculu us cu munrtf! Nu frn un !ns! Fu nm fust flnnfrnt! Fu frnm lnnfr! n ntuncn nm !zut fu dnn nuu, mnn mnrf n mnn strlucntur dfct urncnd%unrflf! %unrflf mfu! Nnsus )hrnstus! &lnn df nucurnf n mulumnrf nm pncnt fu n gfnunchn. Fu nu nm murnt! Nu! Fu m-nm nscut! Mnchnfl m-n rndncnt, tntn n fust nculu mprfun cu surn Gnrcnn. Fu frnm nnrn ncns! Mnchnfl mn-n ntnns u cup cu cflf mnn mnnunntf fructf pf cnrf fu lf-nm !zut !rfudnt. Mnnc, pun n!fn nf!unf df u ntrnrf. )f ffl df fructf sunt ncfstfn( Flf n npnrnn. Fu lf-nm pstrnt pfntru tnnf. %unt fructflf pf cnrf tu lf-nn culfs pf pmnt. Mn n mn nm mfrs nun sprf cns, n dnrfcnn ncflfn lumnnn. 3333 FPNLUG LN N 2-N FDNNF "frnturnnlf spnrntunlf nu sf put nflfgf prnn cunutnn. *nn cuntr- df multf urn nf st n drum. Fncf pnrtf dnn curp n puntf pfrcfpf dunr cffn., cf n trnnsmntf cflf cnncn snmurn nlf nunstrf. Ncurdul cumun, cnrf n nflnt ncfnst cnrtf, m nucur funrtzf tnrf. ) nu mnn fust prnntrf flf rfmrcn crntncf, n chnnr !ucn cnrf sf mputrn!fnu, m-n mpnns sprf fnptul, df n f,plncn ctf!n lucrurn n ncfst fpnlug. Fu nm ncfrcnt s nrt nfmrgnnntn drngustf n lun *umnfzfu, cnrf cuprnndf pf tuntf fnnnflf n cnrf fstf cu mult mnn mnrf n cuprnnztunrf, dfct nun nf-nm putfn nmngnnn. Multf lucrurn puntf c sunt n rfnlntntf nltffl, nun nu putfm s lf pfrcfpfm cu nflfgfrfn nunstr mnc n lumfnsc. *unr )hrnstus ducf sprf "ntl, n Fl fstf drumul! *nr pf cnnf cunducf Fl, cnd n cum pf ncfl drum, fu nu put s m prunun ln ncfnstn. *unr un lucru tnu cu sngurnn- *uhul %u, *uhul %u sfnt, ndnf pfstf tut, chnnr n n nfnrn nnsfrncnlur. &rnn fructflf lur n !fn rfcununtf "rfnunf dunr cn s dfschndfm uchnn n s nf nmnntnm df cfn mnn nmpurtnnt purunc n %nNunnn-! ...! *unr nstn cuntfnz! Nu nf putfm nnrncndn n spntflf dugmflur, n lfgnnlur n n cundnmnrnnlur# *umnfzfu gsftf pf fnfcnrf, n dup ncffn l msunr prnn drngustfn ncfstunn pfntru nprunpflf su.! Nnsfrncn, spu!fdnnnn, sncrnmfntflf, ct df nfnsfmnntf sunt flf, dnc nu cunduc sprf umnlnn n sprf drngustf, n ct df mrff sunt ntuncn cnd nf dnu putfrfn, s crftfm n drngustfn lun )hrnstus! Fu lf mulumfsc n!turnnlur mfn spnrntunln. )ununtfrfn lur, rndnrfn lur n drngustfn lur mn-nu dfnschns drmul spnrntunl n cu ncfnst cnrtf tuturur cflurn, cnrf cnut s fnf umnln. 'ndf sunt strnnf cu!nntf n lntfrf, nculu putfm s mfrgfm n lnnntf n s snmnm !nnrnnnlf, cnrf sf nscund n spntflf cu!nntflur n s nf lsm dus df fn. Nfn nmnn Elfnn, nunfmnrnf 1?>>

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*rngustfn lun *umnfzfu fstf tfmn prnncnpnl dnn crnnlf lun Nnn nmnn Elfnn ....nncn vurn df nnd .... nncn vurn df munr f Ncfstf crn sunt dnscursurn nfucntf dfsprf drngustfn lun *umnfzfu. Nfn nmnn Elfnn d n !nlfng pcntul df munrtf n tuturur rflngnnlur- &f *umnfzfu s-$ fnc um n !fnncn, nfmrgnnntn n pfntru nun nfnmngnnnnnln drngustf n %n s-u scurtfzf n s-u ngrdfnsc. Fl du!fdftf lnpfdf n pf nflfsul tuturur, df cf drngustfn lun *umnfzfu nu puntf n!fn mnrgnnn n nu sf uprftf nncn n fnn nndulun, dn mnn nlfs nculu fstf mnn f!ndfnt - nnnfnflfs dnc dugmflf nunstrf, nn!ndnn n durnnn nunstr df putfrf nu nf nchnd uchnn pfntru n !fdfn ncfnstn! )I2JN &FN"2' )'&NN *F N8FNGNMNN E$FNN !UN"F#FLF LFNN $ U"KN% LFN&DN ' mnnunnt cnrtf pfntru cupnn, cu 14 df unncfn nmngnnn dunlf dfsfnntf cu ncunrflf cnrf nu !r fsc dunr cupnnn. Fstf cnrtfn ngfrnlur pfntru cupnn. *fschndf uchnn pfntru lumfn spnrntunl n fstf cntnt cu ncfnnn plncfrf df cupnn n df nduln. !UN"F#FLF LFNN $ '(NN #UPN#ULUN Nl dunlfn !ulum n urncflulun $fnn, cu ncflnn nmngnnn. NFN) "FGFLF PU"#NLU" MN*+"F,N ' cnrtf pfntru cupnn cu !rstf ntrf > - >; df nnn. Nncn pu!fstftf Nfn nmnn Elfnn u pu!fstf drgu df nnnmnlf dfsprf un mnc purc mnstrf pf numf Nfn, cnrf frn df n dnntutdfnunn mnn nltffl dfct cfnlnln. Fl sf znntf cu multf lucrurn cnrf nstzn sunt ln urdnnfn znlfn, fr n n!n cf!n dnn flf. *n, n pn cnd df!nnf Nfn rfgflf purcnnlur mnstrfn, trfnunf s mnn trfnc pfstf multf n!fnturn ' cnrtf df rs -n pfntru n gndn. NN*U* #."N*+U* /N MNJLU#UL NU*+"U )nrtfn trnnsmntf u !fdfrf ndnc n lumfn spnrntulun- gndurn, rugcnunf, mfdntnnf. ' pnrtf prnctnc cunducf pns cu pns n pf nflfsul tuturur sprf u mfdntnnf crftnn ndnc.

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NFNJNMNN KLFNN N CUNUTN TU NGFRUL TU? 1 Frn nunptf, ntuncn cnd s-n nscut Nnrnnrn. Mftrn ntrfgn df nmfn nu ngrupnt ultnmflf rfsturn df drngustf pfntru nprunpflf sun flf. Frngul nnfn nrn cn un dfmun df tfmut n ghfnrflf snlf. Nunptfn n mncnt lumnnn, n spus u dnt Mnchnfl. n cu fl n dnsprut n cldurn. N rmns dunr frngul. Frngul nghfnt! Gfrul n zpndn nnundfnt nu dunurt df n df ctf!n znlf stlpul df curfnt ln pmnt. "fhnncn n fust n!nns# frn ntunfrnc n rfcf. $fmnflf n lumnrnlf fcfnu tut cf lf sttfn n putnn. %f upunfnu nupnn cu punn cldur, n lnnntf n nfunsfr!ntf sf nrdfnu n drngustf, fr n sf rftrngf n fr n spunf cf!n - n fr n ntfptn cf!n n schnmn. &rnn munrtf crfnu !nn prnn lumnn n cldur %nngurntnc n n lnnntf frn mncn cns n mn lucul zpfznn. Nncn u mun, nncn nu ductur nu n !fnnt, fn nncn mcnr nu nu ncfrcnt s n ung nncn. Frn grunznnc! ' putfrf cnudnt !runn s m strn!fnsc. Fu snmfnm frngul, n durfnm s m nturc. Mnchnflf, n ut-m! 'ndf rmnfn fl( Fl n prumns dunr, c nu m !n prsn. Mnchnfl! Fu nm fust strn!nt nn df pnrc m-nr fn npucnt nntf clftn df ufl. )f n fust pn ncum pfntru mnnf scut n sngurnn, nmfnnnn s m dnstrug. *nr cf!n nu n lsnt cn ncfnstn s sf ntmplf. *f n nm nntrnt ntr-un tunfl strmt, n ln cnptul ncfstunn pndfn frngul. ' frnc df pnnnc m-n npucnt. Fu ncfrcnm s m mputrn!fsc, fu !runnm nnpun. *nr prfn trznu! Fstf un nnnt( +ucfn fr tun n mnmfn mflf n mnn lsnt luc punn curnuzntnn. "rfnunn cfl punn s fn fust nnnt. "ntn nu n rspuns. Fl m nnfn nfn uturnt n mnnnlf snlf mnrn, prutfctunrf. Fu frnm fnpn, nu frnm n stnrf s m mnc. Nncn un strngt, nncn u nnhnlnrf, nnmnc. Frngul n ctngnt. Fstf munrt( Fu nm nuznt dnn nuu u !ucf munutun# dup ncffn m-n cuprnns nnrn ntunfrncul, ndnc, nunptfn fr sfrnt. Fu znurnm cn u pnsrf, cn un mnc culnnru, cu hrnncnf df ln u flunrf df lutus ln nltn. $ncul frn mpnznt df nuffrn, sunrflf lumnnn n nclzfn, nrurn df nnurn mncn sf dfsprnndfnu dnn nnrnn udnt df ruu. ' unpt ncfnt ntfn pf ln fs, suflnrfn lun *umnfzfu sf udnhnfn pfstf tut. *fudnt n scunpnt fuc pmntul dnn fnn mfn. %unftul nsurzntur mn-n rupt pur n snmplu urfchnlf. Mnrusul df sulf sf snmfn, dnn grunpn df pf pmnt nsfmntunrf n unun crntfr n znurnt dnrfct sprf mnnf u urnn cnucnntunrf. Nrnpnlf fn urnnf mn tnnu urncf pusnnnlntntf df scpnrf. Frncn m sugrumn, curznlf !ucnlf n ncftnu nctn!ntntfn n n lsnt s munr nptul mfu df frnc. *up ncffn nu n mnn fust nnmnc. 'n nnmnc ndnc, ntunfcnt. *urn mult, mult prfn mult. )nd curpul mfu sf unnnunn df n ncftul cu ncftul cu munrtfn, nu ncfput dnn nuu s-mn lucrfzf plmnnn. *nr lnpsn df u,ngfn n lsnt df n urmf ndncn n crfnfrul mfu. Ncum frn lnmpfdf- Fu nu !un fn nncnudnt .nurmnl/. Mnchnfl n spus-# +n fn funrtf grfu, dnr tu nu !fn rfgrftn. )t df dfs m !un mnn gndn fu ln ncfnst prupuznnf! Fu nu-n nflfgfnm nc sfnsul. Ncum frn lnmpfdf, df nfcuntfstnt. Fu frnm nsfmnnt, u !nn ntrfng !un fn hnndncnpnt. Mnchnfl, n ut-m! )f m !n ntmpnnn( +un putfn fu unrf rfun( +un fn fu unrf !rfudnt ffrncnt( Nm s put n!fn fu snngur grn df mnnf snu !un dfpnndf u !nn ntrfng df nun!unnn nlturn( 0n mnrf tnnm fu df n cf sf !n ntmpln. Mnchnfl n !urnnt tutul cu mnnf, m-n n!fsflnt, mn-n dnt curn . "untf hnltflf nmpurtnntf dnn !nnn mfn, mn lf-n f,plncnt, sfnsul lur, pusnnnlntnlf n tuntf nnsflf. +n fn grfu, n spus fl, n fu nm fust df ncurd. *nr tuntf ncfstfn s-nu ntmplnt n mprf urrn lnnntntunrf. Fr nf!unf, fr nuln, fr suffrnnf, dunr ffrncnrf n drngustf n nnundfn. N fn putut fu unrf s-mn dnu sfnmn ntuncn, cf m ntfptn df fnpt, nncn( Nm fust fu n stnrf, s m gndfsc ln ncfnst !nn, s snmt mcnr cum fstf fn( Nmnntnrfn ncfnstn s-n tfrs. *nn cf n cf mnn mult plfn, nmngnnnlf df!fnfnu nfclnrf. )n nntf nucn df cfn mnn nprfnu flf dnn lncul untrnn, pfntru n sf dfstrmn nmfdnnt df chnnurnlf !nfnn. n nn frn funrtf nnnf. Nu nr fn fust pusnnnl nltffl, s fncn fn unfn !nfn plnn df nfn unsurn, dfznmgnrn n dnsprfunrn. Nncnudnt nu nm mnn fust fu nn df snngur, nn df nfn uturnt. "rupul n spnrntul s-nu unnt, zdrunnt n mpnns df ctuflf mntfrnfn, df nlfstfmul rulun. Nncnudnt nu m-n mnn ntnns cu nttn putfrf, dfct ln nntfrfn mfn, nmngnnfn cdfrnn dnn pnrndns. &untf s fnf !rfun cuntrnst mnn mnrf( *rngustf n cldur nfmrgnnnt, lnnntf fr lnmntf, n!luntf ntr-u mnrf df tnndrff n nnundfn, znurn u ntlnf cu u fur df nfnmngnnnt. Nmprf urnrfn cnrf mnn nnnntf n fust nn df prutfctunrf, df!nnf un dfmun, ncfnrc s strn!fnsc mncul curp n l fncf s sf zgudunf cn un mnc cutfrmur. )u fur fstf fl mpnns sprf ncfl cnnnl, cnrf cunsducf nfnr n frng, n ngntnnf n nflnnntf. %pnrntul snmtf, c lnnfrtntfn sn sf dfstrnm. *unr cu grfu sf prfd fl n nchnsunrfn curpulun, tnnnd nnnf, c un df cflul !n rmnf pfntru fl mult tnmp nchns - rfnnut n curpul unun nuu nscut, mpnns sprf nfn uturnrf. %nu nn cum fstf n cnzul mfu, cu un curp cnrf nu fstf pfrffct n trfnunf cn s rfnun ln dfz!ultnrfn nurmnl.

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Mnchnfl mn-n spus u dnt, c nntfrfn sf numftf n &unrtn !nfnn. &fntru mnnf fstf munrtfn spnrntulun, u munrtf grunznnc n chnnuntunrf, dup cnrf dfsfurn urmfnz nunptfn, frngul n nftnnnn, cu dunr un mnc punct df lumnn n dfprtrn. )n un nun prnftfn sf nfnz !nlul untrnn pfstf suflft, cn nntf fulgn df zpnd, cnrf u n!lunfsc dnn cf n cf mnn tnrf. )cn dunr sun u ptur df nfn gruns fstf df supurtnt !nnn, df!nnf pusnnnl s n!fn n s strngn f,pfrnfnf. *unr nncn puntf s crfnsc spnrntul, pn cnd !n strpungf nfnun pf tnmp df prnm!nr cn un crucus n cu gtul lnrg dfschns !n nfn dnn sunrflf dnmnnfnn. Nmn pnrf ru, dnr tnn funrtf nnnf, zpndn n frngul, nu n fust pusnnnl, fu nu nm putut s !nn. Fu tnu! Mnn mult nu n spus tntn. &f fnn sn sf putfn !fdfn nflfgfrfn n trnstffn. $n rf!fdfrfn, dumnul ductur. 2fflf,flf sunt dfrnn ntf, curznnlf !ucnlf sunt pnrnlnzntf, tut curpul fstf munlf n nu rfncnunfnz n nncn un ffl, n spus fl. )upnlul trfnunf dus df ndnt ntr-u clnnnc spfcnnl, mnf mn fstf nmpusnnnl un trntnmfnt. )u un hnndncnp mnrf !n rmnf n urncf cnz. N durnt znlf ntrfgn pn cnd n fust pusnnnl un trnnspurt pn ln clnnnc. "ntn sf ucupn df mnnf cu u drngustf nfmrgnnnt. Mnmn n fust nltffl. Furnn, suprnrfn n trnstffn nu mpnfdncnt rffncfrfn fn nmfdnnt. Nmputrn!nrfn fn frn nn df mnrf, c nu n durnt mult tnmp n n-n sfcnt lnptflf. Ncum n nlucunt tntn n pf mnmn. Fl m schnmnn, mn fncfn nnnf m hrnfn cu cfn mnn mnrf grn n tnndrff. Nrnflf n mnnnlf snlf mn nnpunnu punn dnn sngurnnn pnfrdut. Fu n mulumfnm cu strlucnrfn uchnnlur mfn, n fl n nccfptnt ncfnstn n tcfrf. *f cf m-nn uprnt ntuncn, cn s nu ntrfrup snrcnnn, cnd fu nm n!ut ru ful! )n u snnnf nscunt n znurnt ncfst rfpru prnn nfr. Fn trnftf. "ntn nu !urnfn nncnudnt mult. )f !nnt trnftf! +n fn nfputnncnuns, mut n nfmncnt. Nu !n fn n stnrf s sf ntrfnn snngur, !n fn dunr u pnfdnc nmfns. Nncnudnt nu !n putfn gustn dnn ffrncnrnlf !nfnn, prunnnnl c nncn mcnr nu fstf n stnrf, s gndfnsc lnmpfdf. &f !fcn nf !n fn grfu cu fn, n ncfnstn fstf dunr !nnn tn. tn tu unrf, cf nsfnmn !nnn(, n rfplncnt tntn lnnntnt. Nnc mnn crfzn tu, c !nnn cunst n fnptul, s tnn u purnf ct sf puntf df mnrf dnn turt, cnrf df fnpt fstf pfntru tunt lumfn( )rfzn tu, c ln sfrnt tf !n ntrfnn cnnf!n, ct df multf dnstrncnn nn n!ut( %nu ct df cunfurtnnnl nn trnt( +ucfn sn nrmunnuns nmflnurn durfrfn, cnrf m strpungfn. )tf urf n znlf nm trnt fu cu frnc ntuncn, cnd mnmn n !rut s ntrfrup snrcnnn. *ucturul n sftunt-u, n fn n fust ffrm dfcns pfntru ncfnstn. Gndnn-! ln fnptul, c puntf fn hnndncnpnt! Nu fncf ncfnstn, tf rug fu, lns-m s trnfsc. Nnsfnmn mult pfntru mnnf, ncfnst !nn. Nm nf!unf df ncfnst f,pfrnfn, fn m !n ducf mnn dfpnrtf. "f rug nu dnstrugf, cffn cf s-n cupt df n df mult. Nu mn strncn nnsn, tu nu nn nncn un drfpt. Fu n !un mulumn cu drngustf, ntt ct !un putfn. *umnfzfu tf !n rspltn, cu cffn cf nu put fu. 'rf n nr nm !urnnt cu fn, nm ncfrcnt, s trfzfsc drngustfn n fn, nflfgfrfn. Fn nncn mcnr nu m-n ngnt n sfnm. Fn nncn mcnr nu n !rut s fnf nprunpf df mnnf, nu n !rut s nnstnlfzf u lfgtur sprf mnnf. Fn luptn pfntru dfsprnrf, durfn s scnpf df mnnf. Nu putfn pur n snmplu s supurtf gndul, s fnf nnt ucurnt df nlnn. )u .u pnfdnc ln pncnur/. % fnf lfgnt, s trfnunnsc s-n schnmnf !nnn, s rfnunf. *nr tntn nu n lsnt-u. &f fl l-nm ntnns cu rugmnntfn mfn, fl frn cuntnfnt df sfntnmfntflf mflf, sf nndfntnfncn cu flf. Fu sunt funrtf nucuruns n mulumnt, c mn-n fcut pusnnnl ncfnst !nn nlturn df fl. ' pnnglnc tnrf n nunnrnn nf lfng pf nun, !un putfn supurtn cu mnn mult uurnn unflf lucrurn. 3 'nflf cfntrf nmpurtnntf nlf crfnfrulun sunt ct sf puntf df tnrn ntncntf. &fntru ductur frnm pur n snmplu un unnfct, cnrf fcfn pnrtf dnn .mfsfrnn/ sn. 'ntnn-! nncn! Fl m-n nfpnt cu sngurnn df !rfu duuzfcn df urn cu un nc df sus pn us. )nnf n spus c nu put snmn durfrfn, chnnr dnc curpul mfu nu fstf n stnrf, s rfncnunfzf nurmnl( Frn npru,nmntn! n zfcfn unr, n ncfstf ultnmf sptmnn n cnrf fu n trfnunt s ndur ncfstf chnnurn. n pfntru cf( %prf n!nnsnrfn n nnnf n strnn mflf nu n ut n urncf cnz dfluc. *unr u frnc ndnc s-n nscut n mnnf, cnrf s-n nrtnt mnn trznu, n n fust df nfnflfs pfntru cfn dnn urul mfu mputrn!n n tut cf nrtn n clnnnc n n ductur. Nfnumrntflf prunf df sngf, lumnnn rfcf n uchn, cunsultnnnlf nntfrmnnnnnlf s-nu ngrupnt ndnc n sun cuntnfntul mfu. tnu unrf ducturnn, cf sf ntmpl cu un cupnl, cnrf fstf nnut df pncnunrf n n sf d dfudnt drumul ln cnp( &fntru fn fstf cfl mnn nurmnl n mnn nfnmpurtnnt lucru df pf ncfnst lumf. *f zfcf, duuzfcn df urn nm n!ut !unf s f,frsfz ncfnst ncrunnnf. *f fnfcnrf dnt sf strngfn stumncul n dnnfrngmn, cu tuntf c curpul mfu nu frn n stnrf s rfncnunfzf dup cfrnnf. ' frnc fr mnrgnnn m cuprnndfn df fnfcnrf dnt, Fu durfnm s strng, fnfcnrf s nud dnspfrnrfn mfn, dnr curznlf mflf !ucnlf nu nscultnu n nn df sngnnlul nmpfrffct nl crfnfrulun mfu. )nnf putfn msurn, cf nsfnmn pfntru un cupnl, s fnc un flnc flnc pfstf npnrntul df rnzf, dup cf umndntntfn crfnfrulun n fust schnmnnt prnmn unr cu nfr n dup ncffn cu un mn luc nlucuntur( $n fnfcnrf mncnrf pnr s sf prnufnsc n cnp lnnurn ntrfgn df munn. )rfnfrul pnrc !rfn s sf spnrg - n fu nncn mcnr nu putfnm s znnfr. %ptmnn n nr sf dfzlnunnu nc n cnpul mfu furtunn, fr cn ncfstfn s dnspnr

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dffnnntn!. %-n gndnt unrf !rfudnt unul dnn ncftn ducturn, ln frncn df f,nstfn, ntuncn cnd curpul fstf cuprnns df duu nrnf n fstf mpnns ntr-un .tunfl sunnrf df rnzf/( %fcundflf df!nn urf ntrfgn. *f undf n nnu putfrfn, cnnf lf-n dnt drfptul, s sfnrmf suflftflf, n chnnr fr s punt !nndfcn trupurnlf( )nnf n nn!fntnt ncfstf mftudf nun df chnnunrf( )nnf lf-n lfgnlnznt( )nnf n schnmnnt gndnrfn n nnstntunnlf, prnn npnrntf gunlf, cnrf put s-l mpnrt pf un um n sutf df nucn n s nrntf dnngnuzn pfrffct, pfntru n-n fn urcrun ductur df fulus n tfrnpnf( %nngur - cu tuntf c fstf mult hfctnc. &rsnt - cu tuntf c ftn tut tnmpul sun unsfr!nnf. Nfn uturnt - cu tuntf c nn multf n utunrf n urul tu. Frn rcunrf n ntunfrnc. *unr punn lumnn nducfn surn Nfnfdnctn, crunn n-nm fust ncrfdnnnt df ctf!n znlf. )u tuntf c lucrn df fnfcnrf dnt pn ln fpunznrf, fmnnn lnnntf, cnrf pru!fnfn df undf!n dnn ndncurn. &fntru fn frn !nnn, drngustfn n n uturul tut ncflnn lucru. Fn sf prncfpfn, s nstupf multf rupturn n s m mpncf ct df ct dnn nuu cu ncfnst lumf. Fn n!fn n trfnurnlf fn, trfnunn s prnctncf n lucrurn nfplcutf, df f,fmplu s nn u prun df sngf snu s schnmnf !rfun nnndn . Fn fcfn ncfnstn df fnfcnrf dnt cu u scuz mut n nnnmn fn. %trlucnrfn n undflf fn m nfurnu n cldur n drngustf n nfutrnlnznu durfrfn ntuncn cnd ncfnstn sf furmn. $n fn tnnm c fstf nfcfsnr, fstf gndnt, n sf ntmpln ct mnn ntfnt pusnnnl. )nnf lf-n furnt unrf cflurlnn drngustfn( Nunptfn n nghnnt lumnnn. n ln stnngfrf n lunt n tunt cldurn cu snnf. N rmns dunr frngul. Ncfstf zfcf sptmnn n clnnnc nu fust dup nntfrfn mfn cfn mnn rfn f,pfrnfn. $n ncfst gnd nc mn mnn trfc pfstf spntf fnurn rfcn. 3 "ntn m lunsf, mut n nflfgtur cn ntutdfnunn, ncun urnt cu strlucnrf df lumnn. Fl m-n lsnt s m cufund n fn, n lumfn s-n scufundnt n urul mfu. *nsprutf pf nfsnmntf nu fust urflf rflf, pncfn n nuntntfn dumnfnu. 'n !ns fr s durm m rpnsf, fu plutfnm nsfmfnfn unun !l df cfn n ntmpnnnrfn lumnnnn, m-nm scufundnt ntr-u cnscnd dnn mnn df scntfn df lumnn. Nmn fcfn nfsfrnt df nnnf. Nn!nurnt n ntrnt mnm nfznt fu pf u cmpnf, ncun urnt df mnn dnntrf cflf mnn frumunsf flurn. Nnnf mnrusntur, lnmpfdf, rcrus frn nfrul. Nnrnnrn! Mnchnfl sttfn lng mnnf. 0n mnrcmnntfn lun nln snmpl cu curfnun dnn pnftrf prfnunsf, mnc n ncnttunrf nfnnrfn, tnnfrfnsc, nprunpf punn trfngrfnsc fnn, nprunpf prfn tnr dup punctf df !fdfrf umfnftn. &f dfplnn tcut m lu fl n nrnflf snlf. *f ln nntfrfn mfn nu l mnn rf!zusfm. "u nn fust un tnmp ndflungnt plfcnt. Fu tf-nm strngnt, nu m-nn nuznt tu, nndnr( Fu tf-nm nuznt, cupnlul mfu, n fu tf nsngur, c nm fust tutdfnunn ln tnnf. *nr fu nu tf-nm !zut. Ncfnstn nncn nu putfnn tu. *nr n nnnntf tf-nm !zut fu tutun ntutdfnunn, dnc n!fnm dur fn df tnnf, fu nncn mcnr nu trfnunn s tf chfm u dnt. *nr ncum ftn tu pf pmnt n trfnunf s tf ncumudfzn cu lfgnlf lun. Flf sunt sf!frf, nfmnlunsf n df nfschnmnnt. Frn nfcfsnr, s tf lns snngur n ncfst tnmp. "u trfnunn s tf ncumudfzn, n!fnn funrtf multf df ntmpnnnt, nn putut s fncn df n funrtf multf f,pfrnfnf. $n ncfnstn frn nfcfsnr, cn tu s fnn snngur, fr nncur df snl!nrf. $n ncfnstn n-nr fn fust mnn uur, dnc tu nn fn fust prnn mnnf mfrfu nmnntnt df cf!n mnn frumus. *nr ncfnstn fstf numnn u pnrtf n lucrurnlur. Mnchnfl fcusf u pnuz lung. Nntr-ndf!r .s !nd/ put pf pmnt numnn funrtf punnn. 'nurn lf fstf ncfnstn nscut. &fntru fn fstf ncfstn un mnrf f,nmfn - fstf funrtf grfu, s fulusftn curfct ncfst dnr - , snu fn nu unflf snrcnnn prfcnsf. Nltffl fstf .!zul/ numnn ntuncn pusnnnl, dnc un um fstf n stnrf, s curflfzf uscnlnnn sn pf dfplnn cu uscnlnnn nunstr. Ncfnstn fstf ns mult mnn curnt n duhu!nncfnsc, cu nncn u mntfrnf mpu!rnt. Multf unstnculf sf nfl prnntrf unmfnn pf pmnt. 'n lucru numnn !rfnu fu s-n nrt df n nstzn, cfl mnn mnrf n cfl mnn grfu. Ncfstn fstf urn n tuntf snmmnntflf nrudntf cu ncfnstn, n!nnunrf, mnnf, lnps df drngustf. 'rn pruducf uscnlnnn cfn mnn usnnc, cfn mnn nspr, cfn mnn ndnc. Fn tf trngf n us n fncf mpusnnnl fnfcnrf cuntnct cu lumfn spnrntunl. 'scnlnnn fn sf puntf ndfsn nn df tnrf, c unnn unmfnn, ct df ct sfnsnnnln, put s u snmt df n curpurnl . Fn nu fstf, cf-n drfpt, mutn!ul fnfcrfn suffrnnf, cn u cunsfcnn n prnmulun mutn!, pf cnrf fu mnn trznu n-l !un f,plncn nc# dnr fn fstf cfl mnn dfstructn! sfntnmfnt n gfnfrnl. Fn dnstrugf tutul, nu-n lns drngustfn nncn cfn mnn nfnsfmnnt nns. n fu nm ncfput, s ursc tutul, cf fstf mputrn!n mfn. Mnmn mfn, clnnncn, ducturnn. "u !fzn ncum, c nu n fust drfpt. 'rn tf trngf n us ln nn!flul cfl mnn df us n cfl mnn dfns, undf lfgfn, cnrf fstf nnzn mntfrnfn, npnrf pf dfplnn sprf n fn purtnt. *urfrfn fstf unn dnn ustntncf, pfstf cnrf dnspunf mntfrnn. "f lu!ftf cfl mnn tnrf, dnc tf nfln pf trfnptn cfn mnn df us. *urfrfn nu fstf u mrnmf dnt dnnnnntf. Fn fstf cundus prnn nfr!n ln crfnfr, n df-nnnn nculu sf furmfnz sfntnmfntul df durfrf. Ncfstn dfpnndf ns df stnrfn, n cnrf sf nfl crfnfrul tu# n dfunrfcf gndnrfn fstf sunurdunnt snmulun - chnnr dnc ncfst lucru fstf nstzn

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nltffl n!nt n lumfn rnnunnl - , dfpnndf sfntnmfntul df durfrf mnn nlfs df stnrfn suflftulun nustru. 'nn n ncffnn durfrf, trnt n stnrfn df uscnlnnf n urnn, fstf nffgnlnt mnn tnrf snmnt dfct n stnrfn df uscnlnnf n drngustfn, n nflfgfrnn n n nfrtrnn. *f ncffn, dfcn, nu fust durfrnlf nn df nnsupurtnnnlf, nn df plnnf df !nulfn nrutnl! +fzn tu ncum, cf ffl df f,pfrnfnf nmpurtnntf nn fcut tu df n( "u nn cunuscut unn dnntrf cflf mnn nmpurtnntf n flfmfntnrf lfgn- *fpnndf df stnrfn suflftulun duhu!nncfsc, ct df ndnc tf nclcftn tu n mntfrnf. F,prfsnnlf suflftulun sunt sfntnmfntflf, n, nn!frs, stnnnlftn tu cu sfntnmfntflf tnlf stnrfn df uscnlnnf n suflftulun tu duhu!nncfsc. nnfn cn f,fmplu u pfndul n fnn uchnlur. )u ct mnn ncft uscnlnnz fn, dfcn, cu ct mnn us fstf stnrfn fn df uscnlnnf, cu ntt mnn uur df cuprnns df!nnf fn. )u ct mnn rfpfdf uscnlnnz fn, cu ntt mnn grfu fstf, s u cuprnnzn, pn tu ln urmn urmfn nu nn nnsulut df luc nncn u nns, pfntru c fn uscnlnnz nn df rfpfdf, c tu nu mnn pun s-u !fzn# fn n dnsprut dnn cmpul tu !nzunl. "utun n-nr !fnn nnmfnn pf ndffn s spun, pfnduln nu f,nst, pfntru c fu n-u mnn !d. )nlfn pfndulfn pn nncn s-n putut tutun urmrn. Fstf lugnc. $ugnc fstf ns numnn cffn, cf nun putfm nflfgf cu mnntfn nunstr n putfm s nf gndnm. "rfn cu trfn fnc nsf. Ncfnstn fstf tutun lugnc, spunf fnfcnrf. &fntru un cupnl mnc nu fstf ncfnstn nnsulut df luc lugnc, mnntfn lun nu fstf nc tucmnn nn df mnturnznt. *f ncffn fnc ns trfn cu trfn tutun nsf, chnnr dnc cupnlul nc nu nflfgf ncfnstn. *f ndnt cf umul fstf ns mntur, fstf fl df prfrf, c nr tn ntuncn tuntf. $n ncfnstn fstf rnnunfn umulun n cumpnrnnf cu cfn mnn nnlt cuntnfn cusmnc, ntuntfcunuscturul *umnfzfu, nncn mcnr un gruntf df nnsnp n dffrt. Nnnpun ln f,fmplul nustru- Nn cum pfnduln dnspnrf dnn !zul uchnlur tn, cnd fn uscnlnnz mnn rfpfdf, nn sunt n fnnnflf nn!nznnnlf, cnrf sf nfl ntr-u stnrf df uscnlnnnf mnn nnlt. 'n ngfr snu u fnnn duhu!nncfnsc puntf s sf n mntfrnnlnzfzf, cf-n drfpt, n nnumntf - funrtf rnrf - cundnnn n s nduptf cu ncfnstn u stnrf df uscnlnnf mnn uns. *nr df rfgul fstf ncfst fnpt tucmnn nn!frs- tu trfnunf s tf trnnspun ntr-u stnrf df uscnlnnf mnn nnlt, pfntru n putfn fncf lfgturn cu ncfstf fnnnf. )u ct mnn dfs!rnt n rfuftf ncfnstn, cu ntt mnn dfs!rnt !n fn n cuntnctul, cu ntt mnn dfs!rnt !fn putfn tu snmn unntntfn df fsfn n lur. Ncfnstn mfrgf ncfpnd prnn prfsnmnrn snmplf pfstf snmnrn n nuznrn pn ln !fdfrn, rfspfctn! n dfs!rnrfn sprf pfrsunnn dnn fn cu ncflfnn drfpturn. *nc !rfn tu n cunsfcnn s nntrn n cuntnct cu lumfn duhu!nncfnsc, ntuncn f!nt tutul cf n usftf stnrfn tn df uscnlnnf. $n ncfnstn npnrnnf pf lng sfntnmfntf n gndnrfn tn, nfptunrfn tn n nc mnn multf lucrurn# dnr dfsprf ncfstfn mnn trznu. *nntrf sfntnmfntf fstf urn cfn mnn df us. Fn tf nnf us, tf lfng tnrf n mntfrnf n fncf nmpusnnnl fnfcnrf ncfrcnrf, s tf dfz!uln mnn dfpnrtf duhu!nncfsc n suflftfsc. 'rmfnz ncum multf trfptf pn ln drngustfn curnt, nffgunst. )u fn pun tu s ptrunzn pn n cflf mnn nnltf cmpurn nlf lumnn duhu!nncftn, n dfs!rnrf pn ln trunul lun *umnfzfu. *rngustfn dfscunf tuntf purnlf, fn fstf %fznm-ul -dfschndf-tf nl lumnn duhu!nncftn.. )nd tu ncfpusfn ntuncn n clnnnc, s urtn tutul, tf-nn pus tu pf trfnptn cfn mnn nnffrnunr. "ut cf fstf nfgntn! n trfnunt df ncffn s tf lu!fnsc cu cfn mnn mnrf putfrf. Nunln fstf nl dunlfn, cu durfrfn nprupnnt nrudnt ustntnc nl mntfrnfn. "u pun prunnnnl s n prfsupun, cffn cf urmfnz ncum. $umfn duhu!nncfnsc nu cununtf nncn u nunl. )u ct mnn ndnc fstf stnrfn tn df uscnlnnf, cu ct mnn mult tu tf ducn dfcn n mnnnlf mntfrnfn, cu ntt mnn f,pus ftn tu ln ncfnstn. Nn!frs- tu pun s scnpn df fn, prnn ncffn c tu, cu n uturul sfntnmfntflur mnn nnltf, mnn nlfs dfcn cu drngustfn, tf mntn ctrf cmpul duhu!nncfsc. %fntnmfntflf tnlf sunt cn dfgftf pf hnrpn !nfnn. Flf ntnng curznlf, nlf crur mrnmn df nntunnnn dftfrmnn uscnlnnnlf suffltulun tu duhu!nn!fsc. F,frsfnz-tf n nntunnnnlf nnltf, curntf. 'scnlnnnlf lur nspnr ln nfmrgnnnrf. Mult tnmp nm mfrs nun nn tcun unul pf lng cfllnlt. *umnfn u stnrf df pncf, nprunpf ffstn!. %unrflf, cu tuntf c nu sf !fdfn nncnundf, rspndfn u lumnn df nsfrnrf cnld. Fl prfn s fnf pfstf tut, nncn u umnr nu n sf putfn mputrn!n. &rul cu npn lun lnmpfdf cn crnstnlul curgfn ncft n us. Nfrul frn plnn df u uscnlnnf spfcnfnc, suprnnnturnl, cnrf nu putfn fn snmnt numnn cu urfchnlf, cn cu tut curpul. 'n sfntnmfnt nfdfscrns df sngurnn m ptrundfn. Nnstnnctn! m-nm prnns strns df nsunturul mfu. Fstf u mnrf mnlustn!nrf, c fu nm !unf s tf nntruduc df n ln ncfputul !nfnn tnlf n ncfstf lucrurn, pf cnrf muln nc nu lf cunusc ln sfrntul !nfnn lur. Fstf ns n ncflnn tnmp n u mnrf rfspunsnnnlntntf pfntru tnnf. &rucfdfnz cunfurm ncfsturn, rspndftf lumnnn pf pmnt! 3 )nd fu m-nm trfznt nnrn, frnm df n ncns. 0n snl n n mhnnrf m nfn mnmn mfn, pfntru n m hrnn npun cu pnrfu df lnptf. &fntru prnmn dnt n-nm fust n stnrf, s-n dnu rfplnc ln furnn fn. +nsul mfu m nnfn nc pf dfplnn prnns. Frn un sfntnmfnt mnnunnt. Fu putfnm s-n ntmpnn lnpsn fn df drngustf cu drngustf, nnfnm dfpnrtf frngul cu cldurn. )n u plntu sf pusfsf fn prutfctunrf n urul mfu, n dnntr-u dnt nu mnn durfn frngul. 0n dfcursul tnmpulun nm n!nt fu, c nu trfnunf nfnprnt s rspunzn rfspnngfrfn cu rfspnngfrf n lnpsn df drngustf cu lnps df drngustf. Ncfstf sfntnmfntf nfgntn!f dur numnn ntuncn, dnc lf lnn s ntrf n tnnf. Numnn ntuncn put flf s rnfnsc n s pruduc rnn. 0n ncfl mumfnt ns, n cnrf sf rfuftf, s sf prfschnmnf, ncfnst fnfrgnf nfgntn! n s fnf trnmns nnpun cn drngustf, nu mnn fstf nncn un .rznun/ pusnnnl. 'n

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lupttur cu snnnn puntf s luptf numnn nttn tnmp, ct fl sf lu!ftf df mputrn!nrf. *nc lu!nturn lun sf ducf n nfnnt, !n ncftn fl df ndnt stupffnnt. ' mnngf df tfnns znunr numnn ntuncn nnpun, cnd fn sf lu!ftf df pmntul tnrf n pf dfnsuprn cnd fstf nlnmfntnt n nnrn lu!nt nnpun cu fnfrgnf nuu prnn putfrfn cflun cnrf lu!ftf cu pnlftn. Fn n pnfrdf tunt fnfrgnn, dnc sf lu!ftf df pmnt munlf n cnrf cfdfnz n dnc nnmfnn nu fstf nculu, cnrf s-u lu!fnsc nnpun. "ut nn sf ntmpl n cu urn n mnnn. Mnmn mfn n fust ntr-ndf!r funrtf stupffnnt, cnd fu nm ntrfrupt pfntru prnmn dnt ncfst .mnc rznun duhu!nncfsc/ ntr-un nsfmfnfn ffl. 'nrfcum, fn n-n mnn putut s-n dfscnrcf furnn fn nsuprn mfn. $n ncfnstn n trfnunt ns ntr-ndf!r srncul mutnn pftru s suffrf, cnrf chnnr n s-n strfcurnt ntrf pncnunrf nfprfsnmnnd nnmnc. *nr pnsncnlf pnr s fnf tnrn n n ndurn. $u!nturn df pncnur n-n prncnnunt ntr-ndf!r u clturnf n znur nfdurnt df mnn muln mftrn, nu n-n putut ns nncn mcnr unnnf un mnnu df durfrf. +nnn mfn n fust ln ncfput ct sf puntf df munutun. Mfn mfn nu sf prfn ngrn fn df mnnf, n chnnr n frnnn mfn, 7urst df dunsprzfcf nnn n 8nlln df zfcf nnn, n!fnu nltcf!n mnn nun df fcut, dfct s stfn n cumpnnnn .cnprfn prustnncf/. Ncfn cnpr prustnnc frnm fu. $nnntnt sttfnm fu tunt znun n culul mfu n prfnm s nu rfcfpnunfz prfn multf dnn mprf urrnlf mflf. Nu putfnm s !urnfnsc# pnrnlnznn n ntrufnnt curznlf mflf !ucnlf# fu !un rmnf pf !fcn mut. ' urfchf frn ntru tutul surd, cfnlnlt fucnunn dunr punn. Nrnflf n pncnunrflf mflf frnu slnntf, nfr!nn mfn nu !runnu s rfncnunfzf. 'n dfffct n sunstnnn fmntunrf, cnrf fncf pusnnnl cuntnctul ntrf nfr!n n muchn, n spus ducturul. ' nunl funrtf rnr *n, ct sf puntf df rnr, dnr fu trfnunn s m ncumudfz cu fn. % stnu nu putfnm, dfct ntuncn cnd frnm pruptnt, n mnmn dunr rnrfurn frn df ncurd cu ncfnstn. *f rfgul frnm culcnt pf u ptur mnc n cnmfrn df zn. *f fnpt nu frn un luc chnnr ntt df ru. Nnrnn fmnnn funrtf mult cldur sunn df nculu. Fu nunfnm funrtf mult cldurn. Fn nntrn n mnnf, m nclzfn ndnc nuntru, m umplfn cu tutul. Frn u cldur ndf!rnt, !nf, fmnnnt df lfmnul cnrf sf nrdfn pfntru ncfnstn. Fu m-nm gndnt dfsurn ln ncfnstn. *unr n!fnm tnmp sufncnfnt. )f sf puntf fncf ntuncn, cnd ftn cundnmnnt s stnn, pur n snmplu( Nnnfnflfs, fu durmfnm mult, cfl punn n prnmnn nnn. *nr cflflnltf urf( Flf durnu funrtf mult, ntuncn cnd nu pun fncf nnmnc, ctfudnt mult prfn mult. Fu frnm tutun mulumnt, c uchnn mfn nu nu fust ntncnn prfn tnrf. 0n cns !fdfnm tutul, nfnr n lumnnn strlucntunrf n!fnm dnfncultn. %fnsnnnlntntfn pfntru lumnn frn prfn mnrf, df multf urn frn nnflnmnt cun uctn!n n ncfst lucru frn durfrus. )nd nm prnmnt mnn trznu uchflnrn fumurnn, n df!fnnt sntunnn cu mult mnn nun. 'chnn mfn frnu prnctnc snngurul urgnn, cu cnrf putfm nntrn n cuntnct cu tut cffn cf m ncun urn. Fu putfnm urf n nr s m unt ln un lucru snu s m unt ln mutf snu ln flurn. 2ndnrfn fstf u trstur nmpurtnnt n mnrf n lun *umnfzfu, n spus Mnchnfl. Nncfnrc s tf nntrfnfzn n ncfnstn, ct df dfs pun tu. Ntuncn nu prfn nm nflfs nn df nnnf sfnsul spusflur lun. *nr nu frn nn df grn!. Nunln mfn m-n cundus. Fn mn-n lsnt nlfgfrfn dunr ntrf prutfst n rndnrf snu dnspfrnrf. 2ndnrfn frn .rul cfl mnn mnnur/ dup prfrfn mfn. Fu sunt nfmrgnnnt df mulumnt pfntru f,pfrnfnflf, pf cnrf nm n!ut !unf s lf trnfsc, pfntru n uturul, pf cnrf fu l-nm prnmnt. Nunln mfn mn-n fust un nun n!tur. Ntuncn n mnn fn schnmnnt urncnd cu un trup sntus. Nstzn n mulumfsc nf "nt, c nu nn dnt !unf cn s sf ntmplf. *unr un urn prfffr u cup frumus sculptnt n fn!unrfn unun nulgrf df nur. Fu nunfsc fflul cum Mnchnfl nflfgfn, s f,plncf lucrurn mnrn cu pnldf snmplf. )urpul, n!flnul mntfrnnl, fstf nmfdnnt ln ncfputul !nfnn drunt dnstrugfrnn, fr n sf dfplnsn sf ndrfnpt sprf prnunrf, dnr cf !nlunrf nrf fl fn df spnrntul nfmurntur( Fl fstf nchnsunrfn sn, l puntf nchndf n zdrunn, dn, ctfudnt l puntf uprn cu tutul - dnr dunr pfntru scurt tnmp. 0n cfl mnn ru cnz fstf un sumn cn n lun nln cn zpndn, cnrf df multf urn nu durfnz nncn u sut df nnn. *f un prnn cu numflf df munrtf fstf trfznt cu un srut dnn sumn spnrntul. )t df nnnf fstf, dnc fl puntf rfcununtf, c nu s-n lsnt prnd cflun cnrf l-n nchns, c n trnnt curpul n - ufncnnl s-n supus cu umnlnn - dnr n sfcrft n urcnt pf cflf mnn nnltf culmn. )f l nntfrfsfnz pf un pun, cnd nfsf, cun n, pf cnrf fl mnn nnnntf n spnrt-u( )f fulus nu tuntf plcfrnlf n nucurnlf trupftn n mprnn lun *umnfzfu( Ncflun, cnrf prnmftf cu mnl ncfnst cununtfrf. )urpul mfu n nlucunt ncfnst cununtfrf. Fr mnl, nrutnl - n tutun nfmrgnnnt df nunntur. 2ndnrfn( %f puntf gsn unrf n strfsul !nfnn( 0n nspnrnnn curpurnl, cnrf slu ftf dunr pfntru n sntnsfncf nf!unlf mntfrnnlf( )u muumnrf prnmfsc fu ncfst ustntnc, cnrf n zdrunnt curpul mfu, cnrf n drmnt zndurnlf nchnsurnn n n flnnfrnt spnrntul. Gfrmnnn, mntfmntncn, futnnlul frn urnrul frnnnlur mfn# pf nl mfu scrnn ns rndnrf n drngustf. Frn u cunl dur. )fl mnn ru frn fnptul, c nu m putfnm ntunrcf nncn mcnr snngur. Fu sttfnm dfsfurn znlf ntrfngn pf ncfnnn pnrtf. Mnmn nu n fcut cu sngurnn ncfnstn cu nntfnnf, dnr fn nu frn pur n snmplu cnpnnnl, s sf pun n lucul mfu. Fu sttfnm nn df mult pf u pnrtf pn cnd pnflfn sf nnflnmn df n. Frnu chnnurn mnrn n nntfrmnnnnnlf pf cnrf fu n trfnunt s lf supurt ntuncn. Nu putfnm s urlu# nn gfmfnm urf ntrfgn, dnr dunr cu rfzultntul, c mnmn sf rftrgfn n mnn mult fn df mnnf, pfntru c .plngcnunsn n furn n ultnmul grnm df nfr!n/. Fu ncfrcnm ntutdfnunn, s nu sdfsc urn, s nu fnc !rfun rfpru n s nu cundnmn. Frn nfmrgnnnt df grfu n m custn dfsfurn tuntf furflf. Frngul nu sf nmflnurfnz prnn frng, dnr cldurn tupftf cu tnmpul tunt ghfnn, n spus Mnchnfl. Fu tnnm c fl n!fn drfptntf. Fu mnn tnnm, c ncfstn frn snngurul drum, frn drumul mfu. *nr frn mult prfn nnrupt, pnftrus n nlunfcus. *f multf urn m gndfnm- prfn nnrupt. Fu snmfnm ntuncn putfrfn trupulun. )u cfn mnn mnrf nrm n sn, cu durfrfn, m pfdfpsfn fl ntuncn pf mnnf. n spnrntul nu n!fn nc putfrfn nfcfsnr s sf rndncf dfnsuprn. Fu frnm nc prnnzunnfrn curpulun mfu, n sfntnmfntflur mflf. *urfrfn cuntruln rfncnnlf n gndnrfn. Grfu n lung

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fstf drumul, cn s dfspnrn tfmpurnr sfntnmfntflf n prfrnlf curpulun n s lf pun ln dnspuznnn nntfrnurulun, ndf!rntulun Fu, n spnrntulun. N !fdfn, n nuzn, n mnrusn, n gustn n n snmn nu nu !unf s dfzlnunf rfncnn nutumntf n cunfurm sntunnfn, n spus u dnt Mnchnfl. "u trfnunf s rfcunutn ncfstf snmurn n s lf nrfgnstrfzn. *nr nu lsn nncnudnt cn flf s-n cuntrulfzf fnptflf n sfntnmfntflf tnlf. )nd cnnf!n tf n ur, ntuncn tu ftn suprnt, dnc cnnf!n tf dnsprfunftf, ftn trnst, dnc cnnf!n tf lnud, tu tf nucurn, n dnc cnnf!n n prncnnunftf u durfrf, ntuncn tu ncfpn s-l urtn. "u ftn ln ffl cn n un runut- *nc npfn pf un nutun, ntuncn fncf fl ncfnnn mncnrf pruprnf lun. )rfzn tu, c *umnfzfu n !rut s crffzf runun( Ntuncn nr fn putut fncf Fl tutul cu mult mnn uur. Fl n crfnt cu umul u fnnn, cnrf fstf dutnt cu tutul, c n d pusnnnlntntfn cn s fnf lnnfr, pfntru cn fl s punt n lnnfrtntf s urcf pf cflf mnn nnltf culmn nlf sffrflur. Multf pfrnculf pndfsc ln mnrgnnfn drumulun. Mult prfn dfs sf lns umul cun!nns, n !nndf prfnunsn lnnfrtntf pfntru u pnnf cu unt. "untf plcfrnlf nfftnnf, dfpfndfnflf mntfrnnlf n sf,unlf, nlcuhulul, fumntul, drugurnlf, tnnlftflf, mudn, cnrf trfnunf nfnprnt rfspfctnt, tuntf lucrurnlf ncflfn, pf cnrf trfnunf s lf fncn, cn s fn mnrf n fnn lumnn, mnnnfn cfn nuu, df cnrf fstf nf!unf, pfntru c n !fcnnul nrf unn, spurtul cfl nuu, fr cnrf nu ftn dfmn df sucnftntf, curntul, pfntru nrtnt !fcnnfn, c sf puntf n mnn nnnf. F,nst mnn df nstffl df .nfuruzf furntf/, cnrf nnuf tunt lnnfrtntfn, n l fnc pf um cn s df!nn un runut. n tutun n prnmnt umul u nrm mnnunnt, cnrf puntf nnf pnfpt tuturur ntncurnlurdrngustfn. *rngustfn sprf *umnfzfu n!nngf tuntf ncfstf prnmf dn. *rngustfn pfntru *umnfzfu nsfnmn s-$ nunftn pf ncfln, cnrf tf-n crfnt, mutn!ul n n ncflnn tnmp cnptul dfz!ultrnn mflf, Ncfln cnrf n-n dnt un sfns f,nstfnfn mflf, s-n nturc n dfplnn lnnfrtntf drngustfn %n. Ncfnst drngustfn dununr tuntf nnrfrnflf# cn un fnrtf, cn pf u sur !rfn *umnfzfu cn nun s fnm nlturn df Fl. Nu cn un %tpn mnrf !rfn cn s-$ nunnm, nu dnn cnuzn nflfpcnunnn %nlf, dnn cnuzn mrfnfn nfmrgnnntf n n supfrnurntnn %nlf. Fl !rfn dunr s fnf nunnt, pfntru c f,nst, cum un cupnl n nunftf mnmn, n mnmn n nunftf cupnlul. Ncfnst drngustfn ndf!rnt trfnunf s crfnsc, cn fn s nu fnf tulnurnt df nnsulut nnmnc. Nnmnc s n-u mnn dfrnn fzf n !fcn snu s-u sunnfzf. Fn fstf cf!n unnc, cf!n df nfntrfcut, cf!n sfnt. Fn fstf mrfn, cfl mnn nnlt lucru cnrf n f,nstnt n !n f,nstn. Fn fstf cnuzn n sfnsul !nfnn, dn, fstf nsun !nnn. *nr nu fstf pusnnnl, cn s fn crfnt cu u nsfmfnfn drngustf. )hnnr n pfntru un *umnfzfu ntutputfrnnc nu fstf pusnnnl. )cn ntuncn nr fn crfnt dunr nntf runun. )f cuntfnz u drngustfn pfntru mnnf, cnrf nu nrf nncn u nlfgfrf, cnrf trfnunf s m nunfnsc, pfntru c n lnpsftf pusnnnlntntfn, cn s nu fnu nunnt( *rngustfn unfn ffmfn fstf df ncffn nn df prfnuns, pfntru c fn s-n dfcns n lnnfrtntf pfntru ncfnstn. Fn nr fn ct sf puntf df nf!nluruns, dnc nr f,nstn pf lumf dunr un nrnnt, nn c fn nu nr mnn n!fn df fnpt nncn u nltfrnntn!. *f nnnn dfcnznn lnnfr fncf nn df prfnuns drngustfn. n pfntru *umnfzfu. Fl nu n !rut runun. Nn n trfnunt s nf crffzf nlfgfrn pfntru dfz!ultnrf, undf nun putfm s nf hutrm n lnnfrtntf. &fntru *umnfzfu snu pfntru nnnn, pfntru *umnfzfu snu pfntru sf,, pfntru *umnfzfu snu dfpfndfnn df drugurn, pfntru *umnfzfu snu pfntru nfnumrntflf .nfuruzf furntf/. *umnfzfu nf lns !unt ncfnst nlfgfrf. Fl nu puntf n nu nrf !unf s nntfr!nn. Muln spun, fu crfd df nnnn ntuncn n *umnfzfu, cnd l !d, ntuncn cnd Fl n nfptunt u mnnunf n fnn uchnnlur mfn, cn fu s put fn sngur. *nr cf nr fn ntuncn, dnc Fl nr nfptun u nstffl df mnnunf( *nc Fl s-nr nrtn n mrfnn n mnnunnn %n( Ntuncn nr spunf ntr-ndf!r fnfcnrf- *n, ncum put n sfrnt s crfd, ncum tf !un nunn ntr-ndf!r. *nr ncfnstn nu mnn fstf u nlfgfrf lnnfr. Ncfn drngustf nu !nlurfnz nnsulut nnmnc. Fn nu pru!nnf dnn nnnm, cn dnn rnnunf. *rngustfn cnlculnt puntf fn ctfudnt cunfundnt pf pmnt cu drngustfn ndf!rnt, dnr pf *umnfzfu nu pun s-$ nfln. Nr fn tut ncflnn lucru, cn n cnd u ffmfnf l-nr nunn pf un nrnnt dunr ntuncn, dnc n sf pnr dfstul df mnrn pruprnftnnlf snlf n dnc ncfstn nrf dfstun nnnn. Ncfnstn nu nrf df-n fncf nnmnc cu drngustfn. Ndf!rntn drngustfn - n ncfnstn f,nst dunr ln *umnfzfu - fstf pur df urncf udfcnt. Fn nu punf cundnnn, nu ntfnpt nnmnc n schnmn. Fn nunftf pur n snmplu. Nn !rfn *umnfzfu cn Fl s fnf nunnt. %nmplu, pfntru c f,nst. Nu dnn cnuzn, cn nun s nu n ungfm n .nnd/# dnn dnn cnuzn, cn nun s n ungfm n .rnn/ n s n!fm nculu lnnntfn !fnnc# nu, pfntru c *umnfzfu nrf tuntf pusnnnlntnnlf, c s nf fnc ct mnn plcut .!nnn !fnnc/. *umnfzfu nu !rfn s fnf nunnt dnntr-un mutn! snu nltul, cn dunr pfntru snmplul fnpt c f,nst. n pfntru ncfnstn nu fstf nncn mcnr nfcfsnr, cn Fl s stfn dfpnrtf df pmnt, dfunrfcf f,nst lucrurn, cnrf nf dnu nltfrnntn!f, c Fl nf lns u ndf!rnt nlfgfrf. %fmnf f,nst dfstulf, Fnfcnrf, cnrf l cnut, l ! gsn pf Fl pfstf tut dnn nflug. )f fstf nnturn nltcf!n, dfct un mnrncul n lun *umnfzfu( Flunrfn, cnrf crftf dnn np, pumul, cnrf crftf dnn smn( %nu frunzn df nfgunnf, cnrf dnntr-u snngur frunz crftf, n df!nnf u plnnt( Fr dnfncultn puntf fnfcnrf, cnrf !rfn, s !nd c n spntflf fn sf nfl u putfrf urdunnt. N fn df prfrfn, c tutul s-n ntmplnt dnn grffnl dnntr-u mntfrnf str!fchf, ndnc urdnnfn n rfnfnt dnn hnus, fstf ntt df nnsurd cn n prfrfn, cn nnsnpul dnn dffrt nr putfn s cunstrunnsc fr un pnc df n utur u pnrnmnd, dunr c n trfnunf sufncnfnt tnmp. )nnf n !zut s rfnfsf urdnnfn dnn hnus( *unr nn( N duun pnrtf n ncfstfn nrmf df drngustf fstf drngustfn pfntru nprunpflf. Fn nu sf dfusfnftf nprunpf dfluc df drngustfn pfntru *umnfzfu. Nn cum sf put n!nngf tuntf nspntflf mntfrnnlf, dfpfndfnflf n nfcfsntnnlf, nn puntf drngustfn pfntru nprunpflf s tf cucfrfnsc. %nu cum n putfn fu s snmt ur, dc l nunfsc pf cfl df lng mnnf( %nu cum n putfn s-n fnc rfpruurn( "untf sfntnmfntflf nfgntn!f sf cucfrfsc prnn drngustfn pfntru nprunpflf. Fn nu ntrfnn df cf, fn fstf pur n snmplu prfzfnt, pfntru fnfcnrf. )um n putfn fu, m ntrfnn tu, s-l nunfsc pf dumnnul mfu., cnrf !rfn s-mn fnc dunr ru( Fstf ct sf puntf df snmplu. Fl fstf tut ncfnnn, cf ftn n tu. Fl fstf u fnnn n lun *umnfzfu, crfnt prnn drngustf pfntru drngustf. *umnfzfu l nunftf pf fl ln ffl cn n pf tnnf. *rngustfn nu fncf dnffrfnf. )um nn putfn tu ntuncn, dnc nfnrmn, c l nunftn pf *umnfzfu, s-l urtn pf ncfln, pf cnrf *umnfzfu l nunftf ln ffl cn n pf tnnf( *nc nunftn pf cnnf!n cu ndf!rnt, ntuncn l nunftn

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cu tutul, cu tuntf dfffctflf snlf. *nc l nunftn ntr-ndf!r pf *umnfzfu, ntuncn trfnunf s-$ nunftn ntru tutul, nn, cum Fl n nunftf tuntf fnnnflf fr nncn u dfusfnnrf. )um pun tu ntuncn s urtn unn dnn ncfstf fnnnf( Ncfst lucru nu f,nst nncn mcnr n drngustfn lumfnsc. *nc un nrnnt n nunftf funrtf mult prnftfnul, ntuncn fstf cfl punn tulfrnt snu trntnt cu prnftfnnf df sunn ncflunn n ln *umnfzfu s fnf unrf nltffl( Nr trfnun s nf purtm cfl punn frumus cu nprunpflf nustru. Ncfstn fstf cfl mnn cfrt lucru df pf lumf. *nr nu dnspfrn. Fstf ntr-ndf!r cfl mnn grfu. Nun !um mnn !urnn dfsfurn df ncfst lucru. )hnnr n nstzn nm n!ut !unf mult tnmp s m plnmn nrn ln nrn cu Mnchnfl pfstf cmpnn frumus mnrusntunrf, n nm n!ut !unf s ndulmfc nfrul rcurus n prunspt. Frn tut ncfnnn lumnn, u mnnunnt n funrtf lumnnnt lumnn df nsfrnrf, cnrf ns nu nrtn nncn u umnr n !rfu pnrtf. %unrflf nu sf putfn !fdfn nncn undf. Fflurn nfmrgnnntf df flurn n df pumn nf ntmpnnnu. Fu pur n snmplu nu m put f,prnmn nltffl. Nnturn nu frn dunr prfzfnt, fn prfn s trnnsc mprfun cu nun, prfn s nnn lfgtur cu sfntnmfntflf nunstrf, n s nnflufnfzf stnrfn nunstr n n ncflnn tnmp cun!nnn df fn, dn, chnnr purtnn. Multf psrn cntnu n urul nustru, muln fluturn nf ncun urnu, nlnnnflf zumznnu, tutul n urul nustru frn plnn df !nn. )hnnr n nnnmnlflf nu frn dunr nn nculu. Flf prfnu s fnf u pnrtf dnn mnnf n frnu ntr-un ffl mnstfrnus cu mult mnn !nn, dfct fu lf-nm putut rfcfpnunn pf pmnt. Nncnundf nu sf snmfn nncn mcnr u urm df frnc snu df grn n. *unr drngustf. Fnfcnrf ddfn tutul cf n!fn n tutun tnn, c nnmfnn nu n lun nnmnc. Fu m rfgsfnm n ncflf psrn, n ncflf mnnunntf flurn, n cfl mnn mnc mflc. Fu tnnm cu cfrtntudnnf, fu frnm flf, n flf frnu fu, n tutun nu frnm unn n ncfnnn fnnn. Flf nu frnu nmngnnn nlf fnntfznfn# sf putfn s lf ntnngn, sf putfn !urnn cu flf, fr cn s trfnunnsc s !urnftn. "untf lfgturnlf gndurnlur uffrfnu u cumunncnnf, cnrf fstf nprunpf df nfdfscrns. Fu frnm cnpnnnl, s cuprnnd ntrfngn lur fnnn, tuntf sfntnmfntflf lur. Nu m putfnm dunr trnnsffrn n flf, fu putfnm s lf prnmfsc n mnnf ntru tutul. Frn - cn n cum drngustfn sf nunftf pf snnf. )ffn cf tu !fzn n trnftn nncn, nu nrf nnmnc cu cf s sf nsfmfnf pf pmnt. &f pmnt trfcf fnfcnrf plnnt, fnfcnrf nnnmnl, nn chnnr fnfcnrf pnntr prnn pruprnn sn dfz!ultnrf. Ncfstfn tuntf sunt scntfn df duh nlf lun *umnfzfu, cnrf sunt cundusf prnn nfsfrnt df multf stndnn nntfrmfdnnrf ln mnturntntf. *nc tu !rfn s tf cunfctfzn cu flf, ntuncn trfnunf tu s tf ncumudfzn cu stnrfn lur df uscnlnnf, cffn cf prfsupunf u nnlt mnturntntf duhu!nncfnsc. &fntru umul unnnunt nu fstf n cunsfcnn !nznnnl u cunf,nunf. Fflul df gndnrf mntfrnnlnst nu lns rflnnnlf s sf rfcununsc, cn trfnunf s !nd n ncfstfn n mud unlngnturnu furmf df !nn nutunumf n fsfnnnl dnffrntf fn df pfrsunnn pruprnf. Nu nn fstf n lumfn duhu!nncfnsc. Nncn fstf tutul n tnnf, cffn cf !fzn, tutul cf trnftn. &fntru c numnn cffn, cf fstf n tnnf, pun tu s n trnftn n s snmn. Fstf u pnrtf dnn tnnf n tu u pnrtf dnn ncfnstn. "ut cf fstf, sunt scntfn df !nn nlf lun *umnfzfu. Nn cum pncturn n mnrf df!nnf unn cu mnlnnrdflf df nltf pncturn, dnn f,tfrnur nf mnn fnnnd pusnnnl u dfusfnnrf, cu tuntf nstfn rfnnndu-n nutunumnn pf dfplnn, n fflul ncfstn sf !fdf u fnnn dfz!ultnt duhu!nncfsc nntfgrnt n ntrfngn crfnnf. Nn cum u pnctur, cnd fn nghfn, n pnfrdf unnrfn cu cflflnltf pncturn, dfnnrnsndu-sf df cflflnltf cn crnstnl pruprnu, nn n pnfrdf umul sfntnmfntul df n fn unn cu crfnnn, dnc fl nsun sf dfnnrnsfnz, cnd fl fugf df cldur n cnd rcfnln mntfrnfn l fncf prnzunnfr. *nc un suflft sf ustfnftf numnn pfntru cffn cf fstf mntfrnnl n nfgln fnz !nlurnlf duhu!nn!ftn, ntuncn trfnunf fl n nncn s sf mulumfnsc cu u mprf urnmf pustnf. )nnf lns drngustfn s sf ufnlfnsc, ncfln nu !n putfn nncn s nduc flurn ln n!fnl. "utul fstf drngustf. Nn df mult drngustfn ct tu nn dfz!ultnt n tnnf, ntt df mult drngustf pun tu s pruducn dnn tnnf n lumfn duhu!nncfnsc. )ffn cf nn !zut n nn trnt nstzn, n fust df-nnnn ncfputul. Nn cum tu nn unsfr!nt df n, stpnftf u lumnn df nsfrnrf cuntnnu. *f n ntr-ndf!r unn funrtf lumnnuns, dnr sunrflf nc nu sf puntf !fdfn. "u nncn nu l-nn putfn nc supurtn. 0n lumfn duhu!nncfnsc nnmnc nu sf rfnnf fr drfpt cn .pfdfnps/. "u prnmftn tuntf, pf cnrf lf pun supurtn. 0n .nnd/ nu sf nrunc unmfnnn. Ncfnstn fstf u stnrf, n cnrf tf nfln, pfntru c nu pun supurtn lumnnn. n dfsprf ncfst lucru !um !urnn nun nc dfs. *nc tu nn !fdfn sunrflf duhu!nncfsc n ncfnst prfzfnt stnrf df uscnlnnf n tn, tu nn nrdf cn un nfc, cnrf fstf nlnmfntnt dnntr-u surs df curfnt putfrnnc df 5;;;;; df !uln. Fl puntf numnn ntuncn fulusn curfntul, dnc ncfstn fstf trnnsfurmnt n us ln 44; df !uln. 0n ncflnn ffl trnnsfurm n us surflf-lun-7rnstus df fnfcnrf dnt lumnnn lun ln stnrfn df uscnlnnf, n cnrf tu tf nfln n ncfst fnpt nu sf ntmpl ntuncn, pfntru n-n nrtn, c tu mnn nn mult pn cf !fn fn mntur! %f ntmpl dnn drngustf fn df tnnf, pfntru c tu n-nn putfn supurtn mnn mult, fnnndc tu nn nrdf n ncfnstn. F,nst dunr ncfstf duu pusnnnltn. 'rn n trnnsfurm 7rnstus lumnnn $un n us ln nn!flul tu, snu tu n trnnsfurmn uscnlnnnlf tnlf n sus ln sunrflf-lun-7rnstus. )nlfn sprf ncfnstn u cunutn tu. "rnnsfurmnturul fstf drngustfn, drngustfn snngur. Fn prnmftf nflfpcnunfn pf grntns, n tnmp cf ntrfngn nflfpcnunf n pmntulun nu !n prnmn nncn mcnr u pnctur df drngustf, dnc fn nu u nducf snngur ln n!fnl. *umnfzfu pusfd tunt nflfpcnunfn. Fl nu nrf nf!unf df nflfpcnunfn tn. Fl n d cu drng cf!n df ln ncfnstn, ntt df mult ct pun tu supurtn. )ffn cf Fl !rfn n nrf nf!unf df ln tnnf, fstf drngustfn tn. *fschndfn uchnn tn n ndrgustftf-tf df Fl. 3 Fu n-nm dfschns n nm prn!nt n uchnn tntlun mfu. Ncum m-nm nmnntnt fu nnrn. Fl m lunsf tnndru n nrnflf snlf, n fu nm ndurmnt ffrncnt n ncfstfn. "ntl nu n spus nnmnc. Fl prn!fn numnn ln mnnf. )u prn!nrfn lun cnld, cunusctunrf m-n nfurnt, m-n lunt pf mnnf n snnf. $n fl nm fust fu prutf nt. $n fl n-nm mnn fust fu u nn!nlnd. Fu frnm un um, fu frnm fnncn lun, pf cnrf fl u nunfn. Fncf nn df nnnf, s fnn nunnt!

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*rngustfn n!nngf urncf durfrf, fncf tuntf grn nlf untntf. *f cf frn tntl numnn nn df rnr ncns, df cf numnn nu putfn fl s fnf mnn dfs ln mnnf( )um nr fn dnc m-nr nflfgf, dnc m-nr mnrnn mnn tnrf. Fu mn-nm dnt nstzn dfmnsnn. Mnmn nu mnn n!usf nfr dnn cnuzn spnnmfn. Nncn mcnr cnffnun fnfrnnntf prfn fn c nu u unsfr!, pf cnrf n !rsnt-u pf ruchnn fn. Fu nu mnn !rfnu s fnu nn df mult pf drum. Fu npnrnn nncn, df tnnf n mnn nlfs n df Nnrnnrn. Ncfnstn fstf ru!untur! *nc tu m-nn nunn chnnr numnn punn, n-nn fn fcut tu ncfnstn. "u nu !fn mnn gsn nncnudnt nnrn un luc df munc, undf ctngn ntnn nnnn. *nn cf s-mn pltfsc fu dfcn ncum hnnnflf mflf, mnnnn nuu, pf cnrf !runnm s-u cumprm n !nr( "rfnunf tu ntutdfnunn s strncn tutul( *f n df nn df mult tnmp mn-nn prumns tu un cu!ur, cn n sfrnt nnmfnn s nu mnn punt s-n nnt uc df .pudfnu nunstr df lfmn-df unmfnn-srncn/. *nn cf !rfn "u ncum s pltftn tuntf ncfstfn( )f !rfn s fncn "u ntr-ndf!r( Nn tu df n un nuu luc df munc( Nu! n nncn cffn cf !un fncf fu, nu tnu nc. Fu tnu numnn, c Nnrnnrn nrf nf!unf df mnnf, n ncfnstn mn n ungf. *nc n fn fcut fu tutun ntuncn un n!urt cu ncfst lucru nlfstfmnt. &rnn cf nm mfrntnt fu ncfnstn. "unt znun nm numnn df lucru n ntnnf df cnp cu fn, n ncum m rfspnngn tu nc n nnpun dnn cnuzn fn. ' *unmnf, df cf fstf lumfn numnn nn df nfdrfnpt! Fu ! ursc pf !un tun! Fn sf luptn cu lncrnmnlf, n cnd un czusf n nnl, trfnunn fu s m gndfsc ln cu!nntflf lun Mnchnfl- 'rn u pun snmn curpurnl. )n sgfn nscuntf s-n nfnpt ncfnstn ndnc n trupul mfu mnc n l-n cutrfmurnt. "ntn m-n strns prutfctur ln snnf. *n, fl df!fnnsf nfntncnnnl. *rngustfn lun l-n nfurnt prutf ndu-l pf fl cn u plntu. Fu tnnm c fl u !n lun pf mnmn, cnd fn sf !n fn lnnntnt, nnrn n nrnflf snlf n nu-n !n rfprun nncnudnt nnmnc, n-u !n mnn nmnntn cu nncn un cu!nt ln cffn cf sf ntmplnsf. Fu l ndmnrnm pf tntn. &utfn fl, unrf, s !nd df n sunrflf( "ntn frn muntur ln u fnrm mnrf, cnrf frn cu prfcdfrf nctn! n strnntntf. Fl frn dfsfurn pntru sptmnn snu nc mnn mult plfcnt n !fnfn ntuncn cfl mult pfntru ctf!n znlf ncns, pfntru n fn trnmns nnrn nmfdnnt cu u nuu nsrcnnnrf ntr-u nlt nr. Fl n trfnunt ntr-ndf!r s fn ctngnt ln ncfnstn funrtf muln nnnn. 0n urncf cnz fusfsf mnmn n ncfst tnmp funrtf mndr df fl. )u cf nr putfn fl ncum ntr-ndf!r s sf ucupf( )u sngurnn n-n dfmnsnunnt fl fr s sf gndfnsc. "utul cf fcfn tntn, frn chnnzunt nnnf. Fl nu ncnunn nncnudnt fmununnl. Fl n stpnfn sfntnmfntflf snlf. Nun trnnm ntr-u mnc guspudrnf, pf cnrf tntn u mutfnnsf df ln nunncu, ntr-un ctun cu nltf upt guspudrnn, dfpnrtf, ntr-u mprf urnmf sngurntnc, prsnt. Nfgln nt, unnnunn mnmn s spun. )fl mnn nprupnnt urn mnn mnrf cu cf!n ndustrnf sf nfln ln u dnstnn df 9; df =m. Nnnnntf cundusfsf tntn guspudrnn. $n ncfput n n mfrs funrtf nnnf, cu tuntf c mnmn nu n utn nncnudnt, pfntru c .muncn df mnzfrnf/ frn sun dfmnntntfn fn. Nun pusfdnm ntuncn 9 !ncn n > hn. df pmnt. "ntn !nsnsf ntutdnunn dup ncflf tnmpurn. Fl trfnunn ntrndf!r s fn fust ntuncn funrtf ffrncnt. Mnmn !runn df n dnntutdfnunn mnn mult. Fn !runn s punt trn nn cn rudflf fn dnn urnul mnrf. Nn hnnnf mudfrnf, ntr-u lucunn curnt, cu u mnnn nuu, n mnn nlfs- fnfcnrf nn s mfnrg n cuncfdnu. "ntn nu s-n lsnt nncnudnt nmprfsnunnt df ncfnstn. Nun nu suntfm nncn pf pmnt, n spusf fl mnmfn, pfntru n ctngn ct sf puntf df muln nnnn n s nf mpu!rm cu multf lucrurn mntfrnnlf. Nun suntfm nncn, pfntru n strngf ct sf puntf df multf f,pfrnfnf, pfntru cn s prugrfsm duhu!nncftf mnn dfpnrtf, pfntru n-n n utn pf nlnn, nu pfntru nnnn, cn df drngul lur nnn. Nun trfnunf s nf n!m n drngustf n rndnrf, n mnn nlfs trfnunf nun s rfcununtfm, c nnnnn n tuntf lucrurnlf mntfrnnlf sunt nfnmpurtnntf, nn chnnr duntunrf, ccn flf nf nnnt df pf cnlfn duhu!nncfnsc. %nngurul lucru, cf nf rmnf !fnnc, sunt rundflf duhu!nncftn. n ncfstfn sf mnturnzfnz n srcnf n smfrfnnf ndfsfn mnn nnnf dfct n nugnf n ngmfnrf. "ntn nncn n-nr fn cfdnt ntr-ndf!r nncnudnt, dnc n-nr fn ncfput ntuncn mnrfn !ntunrf df hntunnl mputrn!n tuturur mncnlur rnnn n fn!unrfn fnnrncnlur ngrnrf tut mnn mnrn. )tngurnlf sczusfr tut mnn mult, muncn rnnnlur n-n mnn n!ut nncn u !nlunrf. Mnnnn mnrn nu putfn tntn s-n pfrmnt, n n utur nnfsc prnmfn fl numnn ncfpnd df ln u nnumnt mrnmf. Fucnunnrnn rnftn n uffrnsfr, s fnnnfzf u crfscturnf df !nfn, un grn d pfntru cfl punn <; pn ln 1;; df nnnmnlf dutnt cu tuntf nmfnn rnlf mudfrnf, fnfcnrf !nfl snngur ntr-u nu, ngust, cn ncfstn s nu cunsumf prfn mult mncnrf prnn mncnrf. 2fsfntnmfntf n sfntnmfntnlntn nu nr ngdun pnnn. 'rn fl ln sf nlturn, snu fl sf lsn pgunn. "ntn s-n lsnt pgunn. &fntru fl frn fnfcnrf nnnmnl, chnnr fnfcnrf plnnt prfn sfnt, nn nct s fn putut ngdun, s mnltrntfzf nstffl un nnnmnl. Nu cum!n s ! gndnn, spusf fl, c nnnmnlflf snu n plnntflf nr fn dnn tfmflnf cf!n dnffrnt fn df um. Ncfstfn nn sf nsfnmn cu mult mnn mult, dfct !un crfdfn. Fnfcnrf nnnmnl, fnfcnrf plnnt nrf df n un suflft. Fnfcnrf fnnn fstf u crfntur n lun *umnfzfu, ndus ln n!fnl dnn drngustfn lun nfmrgnnnt. Fnfcnrf nnnmnl, fnfcnrf plnnt nrf sfntnmfntf, cnrf pnrnnl rfncnunfnz cu mult mnn sfnsnnnlf dfct cflf nlf nunstrf. )flf mnn multf nnnmnlf pusfd n nn cf!n cn un nl nptflfn snmn# cflur mnn muln unmfnn lf-n dnsprut dunr df mult ncfstn. Fnfcnrf rnn tnf, cum nnnmnlflf sf mputrn!fsc nnstnnctn!, cnd ncfstfn mfrg n dnrfcnn cnsfn df sncrnfncnrf, cu tuntf c flf n-nu fust nc nncnudnt cunfruntntf cu ncfnstn. Fncfn-! stpnn nsuprn pmntulun, n spus *umnfzfu. Nu- dumnnn cn tnrnnn pfstf pmnt, ncunnn nnnmnlflf, chnnunn-lf, ucndfnlf, n nucurnn-! ln ncfnstn. Nnnmnlflf sunt mncnn nutrn frnn n mnrfn fnmnlnf n lun *umnfzfu. Nun nr trfnun s n!fm gr df flf, s lf ndrumm n s lf cunducfm. &rnn fflul nustru fgunst, nrutnl n nfumfnfsc, s chnnun nnnmnlflf dnn mutn!f curnt mntfrnnlf cn cfl mnn ru ntfmnntur, nf prncnnunm nuu nnnf cfl mnn

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mult ru. &f df-u pnrtf dnrfct prnn cunsumnrfn crnnn, cnrf pusfd nfnumrntf sunstnnf utr!ntunrf n mfdncnmfntf. *f-nnnn hurmunnn, nntnnnutncflf n nnnnulflf stfrundf fnc dunr pusnnnlf ncfstf mftudf pfr!frsf df ngrnrf. Nprunpf tuntf sf dfpun n cnrnf n sunt df n nstzn rfspunsnnnlf pfntru funrtf multf mnuln!nrn n dfrnn rn nlf mftnnulnsmflur. Nl dunlfn punct cntrftf nc mnn dffn!urnnnl. ) nnnmnlflf put gndn, n fust df n df mult du!fdnt df nnulugnf. Ncfnstn fstf u gndnrf prnmntn!, nnstnnctn!, dnr ncfstfn sunt uscnlnnn nlf gndurnlur, cnrf, n prnncnpnu, nu sf dfusfnfsc prnn nnmnc df cflf nlf nunstrf. "utul cf fstf, fstf fnfrgnf, tut un gnd n ncfst lucru l-n du!fdnt fnzncn df n df mult tnmp. "ut nn cn n fnptul, c fnfrgnn nu puntf fn nncnudnt dnstrus. Fn puntf ntr-ndf!r s fnf trnnsfurmnt n nltf furmf df fnfrgnf, dnr nu puntf nncnudnt s fnf dnstrus. )f gndfsc nndnr nnnmnlflf, cnrf sunt chnnuntf ntr-un nsfmfnfn hnl( Ncfstfn sunt gndurn df frnc, tfnm, chnn, pnrnnl ntr-ndf!r n nsfmntunrf cu urn nunstr, n gfnfrnl dfcn fnfrgnf nfgntn!. Ncfnst fnfrgnf nu sf puntf f!npurn. Fn nf mpu!rfnz cn u snnnf n lun *nmuclf. *fsngur, fn nu puntf fn msurnt n cntrnt, n nncn nu fstf !nznnnl. *nr nncn rndnunctn!ntntfn nu fstf !nznnnl, n tutun nrf fn fffctf df!nstntunrf! Ncfnst fnfrgnf nfgntn! nf prncnnunftf nuu tuturur pngun. Fn curfspundf cu rndnunctn!ntntfn n sffrn duhu!nncfnsc. )ffn cf rndnunctn!ntntfn prncnnunftf curpulun, ncfst lucru l prncnnunftf duhulun ncfnst fnfrgnf nfgntn!. Nnmfnn nu puntf spunf, ncfnstn n-nm tnut-u, ncfst lucru nu l-nm !rut! Nun tun suntfm dfnsfmfnfn !nnu!nn ln ncfnst stnrf. *rngustf curnt nu ncftfnz f,nct n fnn fpturnlur cflur mnn nfputnncnunsf, fn lf nncludf pf ncfstfn n prnmul rnd. )nd tntn n f,prnmnt ncfstf gndurn n ndunnrfn cnrcumscrnpnfn rnnnlur, l-nu rupt fn df-n drfptul. Numnn punnn prnftfnn nu nnut cu fl, unnn nu df!fnnt ngndurnn, mnrfn mn urntntf l-n numnt un ndnut !nstur, fr nncn un snm nl rfnlntnn. %nu cf nltcf!n sf puntf crfdf dfsprf un rnn !fgftnrnnn, cnrf rfspnngf cunsumul df cnrnf n dnn mutn!f df sntntf n dnn mutn!f ftncf( 0n nnzn ncfstfn cu!ntrn, cnrf n pru!ucnt cf!n sfnznnf n n prfs, n fust fl ntuncn f,clus dnn nsucnnnn rnnnlur pf mutn! df cumpurtnmfnt duntur pfntru nsucnnnf. *f-nnnn mult mnn trznu nm nflnt fu ncfnst ntmplnrf df ln Mnchnfl. "ntl tu, spusf fl, fstf unul dnntrf cfn muln sfnnn, cnrf rmn nfcunuscun, cnrf lucrfnz n lucrurn mncn n nscunsf. )ffn cf fl n rfcunuscut cn fnnnd drfpt, ncfnstn n n susnnut-u, fr n nrusn un gnd pfntru snnf. Fl n ntmpnn pf tun cu drngustf, n n ut pf tun, nu rnftf pf nnmfnn, fr s cfdfzf !rfudnt, dnc cnnf!n ndur strnccnunf snu dnc lfgfn dumnfzfnnsc fstf nfrfspfctnt. Fl fstf unul dnntrf ncfnn, cnrf ntrfsc nnnflf n lumf n l spurfsc. 'nmfnn cnrf !ur s nnuntnfnsc lumfn n-nu rfunt nncnudnt s ntnng !rfun scup. )u!ntrn mnrn n durnnn f!ln!nuns, ncfnn df sus s fnc n sfrnt cf!n, n-nu n utnt nc nnmnun cu nnmnc. Fnfcnrf puntf s mnuntfnsc lumfn, nnumf nculu, undf fl trnftf. $umfn, ncfnstn fstf mprf urnmfn tn, unmfnnn, ncftnn sunt nprunpflf tu. Nu-n crntncn, nu-n cundnmnn! %chnmn-tf numnn tu nsun, n cfnlnln sf schnmn nutumntnc mprfun cu tnnf. Fn rfncnunfnz ln uscnlnnnlf tnlf. *up ur urmfnz nrnrfurn drngustfn. *nr fn df drngustf nu puntf nnmfnn pf durnt lung s rfncnunfzf cu ur. &f lng f,fmplul tu mnc nu puntf nnmfnn pf lung durnt s trfnc, fr s fnf mulnpsnt . Nu fstf pusnnnl, s nsculn un cuncfrt df urg n n ncflnn tnmp s flunfrn u dunn. Nu fstf pusnnnl, s tf unn ln u lumnnrf n s !fzn ntunfrnc, nncn mcnr cu uchnn nchnn. *nr lumnnrfn trfnunf s nrd, tu trfnunf s-u nprnnzn. )fn mnn muln !urnfsc ntutdfnunn numnn dfsprf fnptul, c cnnf!n nr trfnun s-u nprnnd. Fstf dfnsfmfnfn mult mnn plnn df sfns, s nprnnzn u lumnnrf, dfct s !urnftn dfsprf ncfst lucru, c n ncfst ntunfrnc nr trfnun cfl punn duuzfcn s fnf nprnnsf. $umfn fstf cn un uc df dumnnu. %f nfl u sut df pnftrf ntr-un rnd unn n spntflf cflfnlnltf. )fn cnrf !ur s mnuntfnsc lumfn ncfnrc ncum, s lf rstunrnf pf tuntf ncfstfn n ncflnn tnmp, n pfntru c ncfst lucru nu fstf pusnnnl, fufnz fn snu sf rfsfmnfnz. $n ncfnstn fstf ns tutun nn df snmplu. "u trfnunf s rsturnn dunr ncfn pnntr, cnrf sf nfl lng tnnf, n rfncnn n lnn cnrf urmfnz ntuncn lf rstunrn pf tuntf cflflnltf fr nntfr!fnnn tn n cuntnnunrf. ' ln!nn ncfpf ntutdfnunn n prupurnn mncn, ntr-un punct. Fn nu sf ntfn nncnudnt mnrf n tutun n!fn dfsurn un fffct nnmncntur. "ntl tu n-n ntfptnt ncfnst ln!nn pf cnrf cnnf!n .df sus/ s-u dfzlnunf u dnt. Fl n dfclnnnt mnn multf ln!nnf mnnusculf. *nc flf !ur df!fnn ln!nnf mnrn, ncfst lucru dfpnndf df mnn multf mprf urrn. Ncfst lucru nu st ln ndfmnn !unstr, pfntru ncfnstn !un nu suntfn rfspunsnnnln. *nr trfnunf tutun s-u dfclnnnn! $umfn nu n fust crfnt dunr ntr-u snngur zn. )rfdfn !un, c ntr-u snngur zn n putfn schnmnn chnpul cu tutul( )fn mnn muln rfnun dup u scurt !rfmf, ntuncn cnd fn nu zrfsc nncn un succfs. Fn sf gndfsc dunr ln snnf. *f cf nu dfclnnfnz pur n snmplu u ln!nn, cnrf n n ungf dnn urm pf cupnnn lur snu chnnr n pf nfpunn lur( 0n dumfnnul mntfrnnl sf gndfsc muln df n ln znun df punmnnf. )upnnn nncn nnnf nu sunt nc nscun, n mutfnnrfn fstf df n prugrnmnt pn n cfl mnn mnc dftnlnu. *nr n spnrnt, trfnunf cn tutul s sf ntmplf pf luc, ccn, nltffl, nf pnfrf curn ul, dfunrfcf .nu putfm n nn s schnmnm cf!n/. Nn-l cn f,fmplu pf tntl tu. Fl n dfclnnnt multf, cu tuntf c fl nu tnf ncfst fnpt. Fl nu n fcut nncnudnt cf!n dnn cnuzn succfsulun. Fl n ncnunnt, nn cum n trfnunt s ncnunfzf. "ntn n !ndut pf ncfn !rfmf !ncnlf unun prnftfn, undf tnn c lf !n mfrgf nnnf, n-n nrfndnt pf lng ncfnstn n pmntul n n nccfptnt slu nn cn muntur n ncum n dfmnsnunnt. *nc nu n fn fust mut, nu n fn putut s stpnfsc un npt df nucurnf. Nmngnnfn, c tntn !n fn mnn dfs nlturn df mnnf, frn mult prfn frumuns. )u snngurnn c Mnchnfl n nrnn nt ncfnstn, dfunrfcf fu l-nm rugnt df multf urn. *rngul mfu Mnchnfl, fu n mulumfsc, c prnmfsc nn df mult n utur. "ntn m-n mnn strns nc u dnt cu trnf n nrnflf snlf, m-n srutnt n n-n lunt rmns nun. &fntru ultnmn unr n trfnunt s plfcf fl pfntru u pfrnund df nsf sptmnn, n ntuncn( *n, cf sf !n ntmpln ntuncn( Frnu nsf sptmnn durf pfntru mnnf. Fu ncfrcnm, ct df nnnf putfnm, dnr un succfs nu sf putfn zrn. Mnmn mfn frn cu mult mnn tnrf suprnt n rfzfr!nt fn df mnnf. Fu u prn!fnm ct putfnm fu df nunntur, fu n

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durfnm n gnd dunr drngustf, fu supurtnm tuntf durfrnlf cu rndnrf, dnr ncfnstn nu n n utnt ln nnmnc. Fn m-n lsnt pur n snmplu ntr-u pnrtf. Mncnrfn mn-u nducfn nfrfgulnt n mputrn!n !unnfn fn. )f nu n fn dnt cn s fnu punn mnn nndfpfndfnt! % put mncn snngur snu s put mfrgf cfl punn ln tunlft. *nr fu ncfrcnm, s nu m cfrt cu sunrtn, fu ncfrcnm dnn rsputfrn, s nu furmfz gndurn nfgntn!f. Ntuncn cnd fn n urn, dfunrfcf mnm udnt, ncfrcnm cn s-u nflfg, ncfrcnm s mn cfr u nfrtnrf mut, c fu n-nm dnt dnn nuu ntt df lucru. Fu ncfrcnm, s-n mulumfsc pfntru tut cf fcfn fn. Nu n fust uur, dnr cu tnmpul n mfrs mnn nnnf, n n !rfmf nm n!nt chnnr, s supurt durfrnlf, fr s m plng, fr s fnc rfpruurn, ntuncn cnd fn m npucn fr nlndff. "ut tnmpul l n!fnm pf tntn n fnn uchnnlur mfn n tnnm, c fu trfnunn s rfufsc. Fu frnm ffrm dfcns, s ndnug pnrtfn mfn, s dfclnnfz mncn mfn ln!nn, dnr frnm tut tnmpul dnn nuu dfznmgnt, c fn nu sf furmn sprf n df!fnn u ln!nn mnrf cn s sf rstugulfnsc n !nlf n s nnmncfnsc tutul cf-n sttfn n cnlf. *nn cuntr, nu sf ntmpln nnmnc, nnsulut nnmnc! Nncn frnnn mfn nu mn fcfnu !nnn mnn uunr. Fn nu sf ngrn fnu df mnnf, n ntuncn cnd trfnunnu s-u fc, u fcfnu cuntrn !unnfn lur. n ncfst lucru m fcfnu s-l snmt. Fstf nfmrgnnnt df umnlntur, s nu tf pun mncn nprunpf dfluc n s fn n nnt ucurnt pfntru ncfnstn. &fntru urfchnnlf sntunsf nr sunn cn u glum, ntuncn cnd fn m lsnu n crucnurul mfu df cupnn ln mnrgnnfn tfrfnulun df futnnl, n utnu cu mnngfn pf lng mnnf n strngnu- "u ftn purtnrul, nn grn cn nu cum!n s rntfzn! Fu ns nu nm snmnt nncnudnt ncfst lucru cn fnnnd durfrus. )hnnr dnc rfufnm ncum, s nu mnn fnu suprnt pf fn, n ndncul suflftulun durfn tutun dfstul df tnrf. Multf nstffl df ncnnf n trfnunt s ndur. Ntuncn cnd frnnn mfn mprfun cu cnmnrnznn lur df unc nu unsfr!nt c mn frn scrn df nruntf, sf dnstrnu df mnnunf, s lf prnnd n s mn lf nruncf n punl. Nm fust lsnt n crucnur pfntru n n!fn dfstul !ntfz pf dfnl n us, c nprunpf mn nturcfn stumncul pf dus snu m punfnu ntr-un cul, ntuncn cnd nu putfnm fn fulusnt. 'rn frnm nfr pfntru fn, frn !unf, fr cn fn s fnf pfdfpsnn, s nu m nngf n sfnm - s urlu snu s fug dup fn nu putfnm - , snu fu frnm prn!nt cn u ucrnf. Nmnflf lucrurn sunt dfstul df umnlntunrf. Fr Mnchnfl, fr cununtfrfn, cnrf fl mn-u drunn, m-n fn upus cu sngurnn n suprnrfn, furnn n trnstffn m-nr fn rupt n nntfrnur. *nr mnn ru m lu!fn cumptnmnrfn unmfnnlur mnn ntrnn. +nn *umnfzfulf, ct df srnc fstf! F,nst, unrf, ntr-ndf!r, s fnf nn df mnc n nn df dffurmnt( Fstf fn, unrf, hnndncnpnt mnntnl( %nu puntf s gndfnsc punn( Frn grfu df supurtnt, s fnu ucrnn frnnnlur mfn. $n fn mnn nsfmnnm cfl punn cf!n. N!fm u !nlunrf unrfcnrf. *nr nn( %ngur, ncftn unmfnn nu u spunfnu dnn rutntf. *nr fn mn lnpfnu prnn ncfnst tnmpnl n nncumpftfnfn nnsulutf. Ncfnst mnl dnstrugfn tuntf !nlurnlf, tf punfn pf cfn mnn uns scnr n f,nstfnfn umfnftn, nfngnt n sfnm, nfnunnt, nu ftn lunt n sfrnus, dunr tulfrnt. n ct df dfs fstf fnls ncfnst mnl, dunr u mnsc n spnnmfn, c n puntf lu!n chnnr pf fn, c fn !ur trfnun ln rndul lur s sf dfscurcf cu un cupnl hnndncnpnt, cu tunt muncn ncffn, cu tuntf suffrnnflf n mnn nlfs- cf !ur spunf cfnlnln( )t df dfs sf nudf dnn ncfn mnl uurnrfn, c nu fust scutnn df ncfnstn! n trnstffn, cnrf u f,prnm, fstf dfsfurn ngruzntunrf- ncfst lucru mn s-nr fn putut ntmpln n mnf! *nc nu prfn nn cf fncf cu !ucfn, cu urfchnnlf n cu mnnnlf, rmnf dunr pusnnnlntntfn, s culfzn snmurnlf. )fn mnn muln unmfnn, n spus udnt Mnchnfl, nu tnu nncn mcnr c f,nst ncfst snm, ncfl snm pfntru !nnrnnnlf unmfnnlur dnn urul nustru. "untf gndurnlf n sfntnmfntflf sunt !nnrnnn. Ntuncn cnd un gnd fstf gndnt, nf prsftf fl n furmn unfn mncn cnntntn df fnfrgnf, cnrf sf mprtnf cn lumnnn n tuntf prnlf. )urpul nu pusfd un urgnn pfntru n putfn rfcfpnunn ncfstf !nnrnnn. *nr spnrntul nustru puntf! )nnf ncfnrc, s mprfunfzf spnrntul mprfun cu curpul, !n rfcfpnunn nmfdnnt ncfstf !nnrnnn n lf !n nflfgf curfct. )upnnn mncn pusfd n cflf mnn multf cnzurn ncfst snm. %nu cum sf puntf f,plncn nltffl, c unnn cupnn ln nnumnn nduln, pf cnrf nu n-nu !zut nncnudnt, ncfp dfudnt s urlf n chnnr n cu mult rndnrf nu n mnn pun lnnntn, n tnmp cf cu nlnn, tut ntt df strnnn, sunt ntr-ndf!r ncrfzturn( *n, muln cupnn nc mnn pusfd ncfst snm. *nr n luc s fnf ntfnn ndulnn ln ncfstn, df!nn mn urntntfn ndulnlur suprnn- "u cupnl prust, cf s-n ntmplnt cu tnnf! )upnlul unsfnr! n scurt tnmp, c ncfnst rfncnf nu fstf durnt n cu tnmpul u unt. %nngurul lucru, cf rmnf n urm ln mnrfn mn urntntf, fstf sfntnmfnul snmpntnfn snu nntnpntnfn, cu tuntf c snmpntnn nu fstf nnmnc nltcf!n, dfct c !nnrnnnlf cflunlnlt sunt pf ncffnn und df !nlurn, n tnmp cf nntnpntnn nsfnmn dnffrfnn n ncflfn frfc!fnf df !nnrnnn. &rnn ncfn snngurtntf, n cnrf fu nm crfscut, nm putut s dfz!ult ncfst snm dnn cf n cf mnn mult. Nnmfnn nu n ncfrcnt s mn spun cf!n n ncfnst prn!nn, dfunrfcf nnmfnn nu tnn. n df ln Mnchnfl nm prnmnt n uturul cu!fnnt. &f mnnf df mult !rfmf nu m mnn puntf mnnn nnmfnn. %f puntf snmn nmfdnnt, dnc cu!nntflf ncupfr !nnrnnnlf gndurnlur snu nu. n ct df dfs nu curfspund! )t df dfs sf nscundf n spntflf cu!nntflur rustntf rfpfdf .srncul um/ dunr spfrnnn, s nu n ung chnnr fn n ncfnst sntunnf! n ct df dfs sf spunf dunr nn fr nncn mcnr punn df cumpnsnunf! )t df dfs fstf scuzn- Fu nu nm putut, pfntru c n sfnsul ndf!rntFu nu nm !rut. n ct df dfs ln nfnrmnnn- )upnlul n punrt cu stuncnsm durfrfn, nm fust mpnns sprf cfn mnn uns trfnpt lumfnsc, ndnc, u !nn df nftrnt, cnrf fstf dunr tulfrnt! )f nrf df-n fncf cu curpul, sunt n fu df ncurd. *unr - fstf curpul !nnn mfn( %unt fu curpul mfu( %pnrntul mfu nu sf lsn nflnt df dnscursurnlf crfdnncnunsf nlf cflurlnln. Fl frn n stnrf s fnc dnffrfnn ntrf mnsc n chnp. Fu nu trfnunn s crfd cffn, cf mn sf spunfn, fu putfnm s !frnfnc dnc fstf ndf!rnt. Nu fstf ncfst lucru mnn nmpurtnnt( )f fstf !nnn( )unst dunr dnn n ucn futnnl n df n fncf cuprturn( Fu mn-nm rspuns df n df mult !rfmf ln ncfnst ntrfnnrf. %nngurnn, dnn !nnn mfn, cnrf m-nu nccfptnt nn cum sunt, ncfnstn n

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fust surn Nfnfdnctn dnn clnnnc, frn tntl mfu, n nnnfnflfs Mnchnfl. &fntru surn Nfnfdnctn nm fust un cupnl cn urncnrf nltul. Fu frnm nulnn! n frn df nflfs, c fn m n utn. Fu frnm un .nulnn! nurmnl/, nncn mnn mult nncn mnn punn. &fntru tntn frnm fnncn pf cnrf fl u nunfn. )u sngurnn c nu mn nunfn curpul, fl frn dfsfurn trnst dnn cnuzn lun. Fl nunfn umul, cnrf frn n ncfl trup, ncfl um, cnrf *umnfzfu l-n crfnt cn n pf fl n prnn ncfnstn n!fn tut ncffnn !nlunrf cn n fl. &fntru Mnchnfl frnm un prnftfn. 'n prnftfn, pf cnrf trfnunn s-l ghndfzf, pf cnrf trfnunn s-l nntruduc n sfcrftflf !nfnn, pur n snmplu surn sn mnn tnr, pf cnrf u nccfptn cu tuntf grfflnlf n slnncnunnlf, n fl ncfrcn dnn rsputfrn s m rndncf, cu ghndnrfn sn, lng fl, pf trfnpt. *ur, dnr tutun nunntur. Fu frnm .nurmnl/ cn urncnrf nltul. Nnmnc mnn mult snu mnn punn. n fu !runnm dunr s fnu- .nurmnl/, un um, nnmnc mnn mult snu mnn punn. Ntuncn cnd l-nm rugnt pf Mnchnfl s-mn dfn u mn df n utur, n pus fl dunr u snngur ntrfnnrf- )um !rfn s n!fn, cn s fnn umnl, fr s nu fn fust nncnudnt umnlnt( )rfzn tu, c un rfgf nr putfn n!n !rfudnt cn s fnf umnl - snu un n!nngtur(@Nu, cu sngurnn, nu. Fnn mulumnt cu cfn, cnrf tf umnlfsc, ccn fn n dnu ncfnst nns. Nncnundf nu fstf scrns- Mndrul n n!nngturul !ur mutfnn mprnn cfrurnlur. *unr n umnlnn sf puntf *umnfzfu nfln. 'mnlnnn fstf nsunturul pfrmnnfnt nl drngustfn, n !n dfschndf punrtn sprf cfr, n !n crun drumul sprf *umnfzfu. 'mnlnnn nu fstf fflul frncus df gndnrf n unur spnrntf srncf, nn cum crfd unnn. 'mnlnnn nu nsfnmn, s nccfpn tutul, pfntru c nu tf pun mputrn!n. 'mnlnnn nu fstf nnmnc pnsn!. % tf prfdnn, ncfnstn fstf rfsfmnnrf, nu fstf umnlnn. Ndf!rntn umnlnn, cfrf u !unn nctn!, cfrf curn , curn ul, s n dnn nf mnn punn nmpurtnn dfct nltunn. Nu fstf umnlnn ntuncn, cnd ncfrcn s tf n usftn n f,tfrnur n s gndftn n nntfrnur- *f fnpt sunt n nn mnn nnlt dfct ncfstn, cf um supfrn sunt, c nm rfunt, s m n usfsc ncfstun prustu!nn# pfntru ncfst gfst !n n!fn *umnfzfu cu sngurnn nucurnn %n mnrf! 'mnlnnn ndf!rnt nu punrt nncn u mnsc, fn nu fstf nncn un uc. Nu fstf umnl, s tf nruncn n fnn lun *umnfzfu n nnsnp, dunr pfntru c n-f frnc n sfcrft, c Fl nr putfn s tf nruncf n .nnd/. Ndf!rntn umnlnn fstf cfn sun cunducfrfn drngustfn pfntru *umnfzfu, n nu dnn cnuzn frncnn. n n mn lucul sfmfnnlur nu fstf ndf!rntn umnlnn, cn nu cum!n s fncn !rfu grffnl, cn dnn cun!nngfrfn, c fnfcnrf dnntrf nun fstf u fnnn n lun *umnfzfu, n nu nf fstf pfrmns crntncn. *unr *umnfzfu puntf s fn,fzf !nlunrfn fnfcrunn, n Fl nr putfn dfsfurn s dfpfnsc unntnlf nunstrf. "u nn tuntf mutn!flf, cn s fn mulumnt df mprf urrnlf tnlf. "f-nu n!nt funrtf multf lucrurn. "u nn fust ns n un flf! snlntur n unflf lucrurn lf-nn nncurnt nn df tnrf n tnnf, c nu tf mnn cust nncn un ffurt. Fu !rfnu ncum s-n dnu u mnc lfcnf, cnrf tf !n cunducf ntrfngn tn !nn n tf !n nducf ln stngnul suprfm. Fstf cfl mnn grfu lucru, fstf curunnn umnlnnfn, fstf sntunnn spnrntunl, cnrf n scurt tnmp nr schnmnn pmntul ntr-un pnrndns ndf!rnt)frfn nfrtnrf, c tu ftn mutn!ul suprrnn snu fnfr!rnn lur, chnnr dnc prn!nnd dnn punctul umfnfsc nn tutun drfptntf. Ntuncn cnd unul tf nntf, ntuncn cfrfn nfrtnrf, c tu nn fust mutn!ul, pfntru cnrf fl s-n suprnt. Ntuncn cnd cnnf!n tf nnt ucurftf dnn cnuzn nspfctulun tu, ntuncn cfrfn nfrtnrf pfntru nfnnrfn tn. n dnc unul fstf dfrnn nt df prfzfnn tn, ntuncn cfrfn nfrtnrf pfntru curpul tu. "u crfzn c fu nm nfnunnt( Nu! Fu !urnfsc funrtf sfrnus. 0ncfnrc s nflfgn tu ncfnstn nn. Nn cn f,fmplu un flf!. 0n!turul su l cfnrt funrtf sf!fr, dnn cnuzn nutflur snlf prunstf. Flf!ul spunf tut fflul df scuzf pfntru nfrtnrfn sn, nnr n!turul df!nnf n mnn suprnt. )f crfzn tu c s-nr fn ntmplnt, dnc flf!ul nr fn rspuns*n, fu tnu, mn pnrf ru, c m-nm cumpurtnt ntt df prust. 0n!turul nr fn df!fnnt nmfdnnt mnn prnftfnus n l-nr fn cunsulnt. Ncfst lucru fstf !nlnnnl n urncnrf sntunnf. Gndftf-tf ln un pulnnst, cnrf fstf mustrnt df supfrnurul su, pfntru c ncfstunn n-n scpnt un nnfrnctur. %cuzf gfnfrnlf cn- n fust prfn ntunfrnc, mnnnn nu n purnnt rfpfdf, culfgul mfu m-n mpnfdncnt, nu df unncfn fffctul cuntrnrnu. )um nr rfncnunn unrf un ff ln rspunsul snncfr- Nmn pnrf ru, mn-n fust pur n snmplu frnc, n df ncffn nm dnt grf! %nu ntuncn cnd sf fnfr!fnz fful, c sfcrftnrn lun n nducf nctflf n ultnmn zn df rgnz, pf cnrf fl n dfcns-u( Nnnfnflfs, fn puntf spunf- )f !rfn, fu nm n!ut tnmp pn nstzn. )u ncfnst nfnrmnnf nr n!fn drfptntf. *nr fn puntf fn umnl n s spun- 0mn pnrf ru, fu nm lucrnt funrtf ncft, fstf !nnn mfn, ! rug frumus s m nfrtnn. )nnf !n putfn rmnf nncn dur( Fn n-n dnt lun cu ncfnstn pusnnnlntntfn, s fnf nnnmus, s spun- &n dn, nu fstf tutun chnnr nn df ru. *umnfn!unstr nu trfnunf ntr-ndf!r s ! fncfn rfpruurn. Mnnn s-n spulnfrnt, n lucul fn pftf sfntnmfntul, c nn nlnntnt pf cnnf!n, c nn n utnt pf cnnf!n. 'mnlnnn snu smfrfnnn fstf nrudnt cu drngustfn. Fn nu-l rnftf pf cfllnlt nncnudnt, fn nu susnnf nncnudnt ffrm drfptul fn, fn prfnn !nnn ln snnf n n crfnz prnn ncfnstn cflunlnlt pusnnnlntntfn, s-n rftrng mnnn lun, rfpruurnlf lun n s lf nlucunnsc cu sfntnmfntf puzntn!f nlf nflfgfrnn, nfrtrnn, nn chnnr nlf nunnrnn. *funrfcf, ncum, stnrfn df spnrnt gfnfrnl df pf plnnftn pmnt dfpnndf df frfc!fnn strnn df spnrnt gfnfrnlf n sfntnmfntflur n n gndurnlur, pun n tu cu ncfnstn s unnn u mnuntnrf n sntunnfn gfnfrnlf, tu nn mnuntnt fffctn! lumfn. Mnn mult nu pun tu fncf. n ncfnstn df nncn fstf dfstul df grfu. Fu crfd c tf-nm nflfs ncum. *nr dfunrfcf tnnm fu, c mn-nr fn nfsfrnt df grfu, s m umnlfsc nstffl, nm ncfrcnt fu s nrunc ultnmul mfu ntu n uc*nr fu sunt tutun mut! "cut mn-n zmnnt fl, pf umtntf mnlus, pf umtntf cu rfpruurn. 0nc nu tnn tu, c, cumunncnrfn nu funcnunfnz numnn prnn !ucf( "u pun s f,prnmn ntr-un mud spnrntunl mult mnn rfpfdf, mult mnn prfcns, cffn cf fstf prfrfn tn. "u trfnunn tutun numnn s gndftn. *nc tu l rugn snncfr n duh pf frntflf tu s tf nfrtf, fstf ncfnstn ncflnn lucru, cn n cum tu l-nn fn rugnt ntr-ndf!r pfntru ncfst

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lucru. *uhul lun fstf ntutdfnunn n stnrf, s prfnn uscnlnnn tn n s nccfptf scuzn tn. Fr s-n fnf cuntnfnt ncfst prucfdfu, sf schnmn nstffl ncft sfntnmfntflf snlf. n dup un tnmp fstf s!rnt cfrfrfn df nfrtnrf, fr sn fnf lun cunuscut ncfst mfcnnnsm. Ncfnstn funcnunfnz ntutdfnunn! Numnn ctfudnt nu nfnprnt n ncfl tnmp, pf cnrf nn l-nm prupus pfntru ncfst lucru. )u sngurnn ns n ncfl rstnmp, cnrf fstf putrn!nt pfntru ncfnstn. Fstf ns u dnffrfn ntrf duh n cu!nt- duhul trfnunf s fnf cnnstnt! %unt tutun gndurnlf, cnrf sf trnnsmnt# df ncffn nncn nu fstf pusnnnl s gndftn, c ncum fnc pur n snmplu nn df pnrc. Ncfst lucru nu funcnunfnz nncnudnt! *f cu!nntf dnmputrn! sf lns ln ncfput nc muln nmgnn# dnr pf durnt lung nu mfrgf nncn ncfst lucru. Nnrn fusfsfrm mult tnmp mprfun. Fu putfnm s-l nscult pf Mnchnfl urf n nr. $n fl nu m plnctnsfnm nncnudnt. Fu nu tnu, cf nm sn!urnt mnn mult, prfzfnn lun snu mprf urnmfn, pfnsn ul, n cnrf nf nflnm nun df fnfcnrf dnt. )nd fl df!fnfn tcut, m lun df mn n nun cutrfnfrnm ncft punfnflf nnnf-mnrusntunrf, m cuprnndfn cu tnmpul tutdfnunn frncn, c trfnunn ncun nnrn s m trfzfsc, s scnp df !ns. 'h dnc n putfn fu tutun s rmn numnn nncn pfntru tutdfnunn! Ncfst lucru nu frn pusnnnl. Fu tnnm nnnf nstn. 3 Fu n-nm fust surprnns, cnd l-nm !zut dfudnt pf tntn. Fl frn nnrn nncn, cflf nsf sptmnn trfcusfr. Ncfstfn nu fust sptmnn lungn. 0n nrnflf snlf nm fust fu nnrn cnnf!n, nu trfnunn s m runnfz. 0n nrnflf snlf s-n trnnsfurmnt rucn urt. Fu trfnunn s m gndfsc ln prnmn mfn pnfs df tfntru, pf cnrf nm putut s-u !d. Fu nm n!ut prn!nlfgnul, s fd n prnmul rnd nprunpf snngur. &fntru c cnnf !runn tutun s sf nfzf lng u hnndncnpnt! "ntn frn tutdfnunn funrtf trnst dnn prncnnn ncfstun lucru. &f fl l durfnu dfznprunrnlf n lu!nturnlf n cunst cuntnnuf, prudfntn mfrgfrf-ln-dnstnn, frncunsn rftrngfrf-nnpun mult mnn tnrf dfct pf mnnf. Fl suffrfn ntr-ndf!r pfntru mnnf. Fl frn n stnrf, s snmt pfntru mnnf n cu mnnf. Fl m nunfn. &u!fstfn cnrf s-n pus n scfn, sf numfn- 2ucn urt. Frn !urnn dfsprf u ruc, cnrf frn cu tutul nltffl fn df cflflnltf n frn tut tnmpul nt ucurnt dnn cnuzn nfnrnn snlf, tucmnn rucn urt. &n cf fn n prsnt ntr-u zn curtfn df rutf dnn cnuzn n nttn mhnnrf n n nlfs un lnc mnrf sprf n-n fn nuun pntrnf, undf fn spfrn, s punt trn nfrfcunuscut n pncf. *nr n lncul ncfln frnu n lfndf, n dfudnt n !zut fn n nmngnnfn sn uglnndnt n np u lfnd mnnunnt df frumuns. 'ltnmn prupuznnf, pf cnrf n rustnt-u pu!fstnturul, sunnNu dunfnz dfluc, s fnn nscut ntr-u curtf df rnf, dnc nn fust numnn ntr-un uu df lfndn. Fu nm rffurmulnt ntuncn prupuznnnNu dunfnz df luc, s fnn nscut hnndncnpnt, dnc..., dn, dnc duhul unnnf prnn ncfnstn pusnnnlntntfn, df n fncf f,pfrnfnf, pf cnrf fl nltffl nu lf-nr fn putut fncf nncnudnt. 0n nunptfn urmtunrf n!usfsfm fu un !ns. Fu ucnm tfntru. Frn u pnfs cu un snngur nctur. Fu trfnunn s uc tuntf rulurnlf snngur, clu!nul, rfgflf, nfgusturul, nnrtnul, nfntul, !ftfrnnnn df rznun cu numnn un sngur pncnur n sulnstul df upfr. Fnfcnrf scfn prnmfn nplnuzf putfrnncf. $n sfrnt m-nm nrtnt fu nc u dnt n tuntf cflf nptf mtn. Nplnuzflf s-nu trnnsfurmnt ntr-un urcnn. Ntuncn nm !fnnt fu ultnmn dnt fr mnsc, numnn cn um, nu mnn cn nctur. Ntuncn s-nu rndncnt unmfnnn n nu plfcnt. Fu plngfnm. *nrfcturul m-n nlnntnt- Ncfnstn fstf tutdfunn nn. Nu pun schnmnn nnmnc ln ncfst lucru. 'mul nu-n nntfrfsfnz, fn !ur numnn mnscn. Ncum, tntn frn nnrn nncn, pf fl nu-l nntfrfsn nncn u mnsc, fl m nunfn. n ncfst lucru frn nfsfrnt df frumus. "ntn rfunsf s prnmfnsc un nuu luc df munc. Fl putfn lucrn cu umtntf df nurm n urn, cn mturtur df strnd n sntul !fcnn mnn mnrf. 0n nfnr df ncfnstn, n ncfput fl, s sf ucupf nnrn df guspudrnf. *nn punct df !fdfrf fnnnncnnr nsfmnn ncfnstn ntr-ndf!r u pnfrdfrf nmfns, dnr tntn frn ffrncnt. Fl sf nucurn pfntru muncn nfnr n nfr lnnfr, n nntur, cnrf n cfrfn nnrn n ustfnfln curpurnlf, n cuntrnrnu cu nctn!ntntfn lun df pn ncum n hnlflf df muntn glgnunsf n prust nfrnsntf. Fl nncn nu ddfn nmpurtnn prfstngnulun sucnnl, fl nunfn mult mnn mult lnnntfn muncnn, cnrf n ngdunn tnmp pfntru gndurnlf snlf, pfntru lfgturn cu *umnfzfu. Mnmn s-n upus funrtf tnrf ln ncfput nmputrn!n cunurrnn sucnnlf, n mputrn!n pnfrdfrnn fnnnncnnrf, cffn cf nsfmnn tutun rfstrngfrn sfmnnfncntn!f. "ntn n-n rfncnunnt nncnudnt dur ln nfnrnlf fn df furnf. Fl lf-n supurtnt umnl cu lnnntf stunc, n-n f,plncnt fn ntutdfnunn punctul su df !fdfrf, lnnntnt, ln unnfct n f,nct - dnr plnn df drngustf. n fu crfd c cu tnmpul n n nccfptnt fn ncfst fnpt. Fn l n utn pf tntn chnnr n n guspudrnf, ncft df!fnnsf fn u rnnc ndf!rnt. n cu tuntf c ctfudnt frn mult df lucru, n-n fcut fn nstn tutun nnnf, s lucrfzf nfnr. Ncum nm fust nun nnrn u fnmnlnf ndf!rnt. Fflul lnnntnt nl tntlun, nurn lun, sf nfln cn un cluput prutfctur pfstf nun tun, nf ddfn lnnntf. Ncfnstn nsfmnn mnrflf mumfnt df cutntur dnn !nnn nunstr. &fntru mnnf ncfpfn un tnmp mnnunnt. Fnfcnrf zn n lun tntn unn pn ln duu urf pfntru mnnf. Fl mn-n n prfdnt lnmnn surdu-munlur n fcfn f,frcnnn gnmnnstncf cu mnnf. Nu frn uur. Nn!turn m sulncntn funrtf tnrf, gnmnnstncn frn nfplcut, ndfsfn durfruns. *nr fu sn!urnm drngustfn, cnrf sf rf!rsn nspurn mfn df ln tntl mfu. Mnmn fcusf tutun df n n nnnntf ncfstf f,frcnnn dnn cnd n cnd cu mnnf, dnr scurgfrfn ncfsturn curnt mfcnnnc, nndnffrfnn dnn pnrtfn fn fcfnu s df!nn ncfstfn un chnn pfntru mnnf. Mult tnmp rspunsfsfm fu df ncffn puznnn fn rfspnngtunrf tut cu rfspnngfrf. *f cnd nm putut fu ntuncn s nn sfntnmfntflf mflf mnn nnnf sun cuntrul cu n uturul lun Mnchnfl, m dfrnn nu ncfstfn df n cu mult mnn punn. Frn ncfnstn u rfcununtfrf funrtf nmpurtnnt pfntru mnnf, cum unn n ncffnn dfsfurnrf, ncffnn durfrf putfn fn snmnt pf dfplnn nltffl. Fusfsf un sfmn lmurnt, c,

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cnlfn nlfns frn curfct, c putfnm n trfnunnm s nm pf dfplnn ncrfdfrf n Mnchnfl, dnc !runnm s n ung mnn dfpnrtf. n s n ung mnn dfpnrtf, !runnm fu! Fu !runnm s fulusfsc nnsn, pf cnrf mn-u uffrfn ncfnst !nn, !runnm s ndun nttfn f,pfrnfnf prfcum frn numnn cum!n pusnnnl. *nc fu n prfnm n f,tfrnur fr pnrtncnpnrf n dfnnl, duhul mfu frn cu ntt mnn !nun, n !unnn mfn frn funrtf putfrnnc. Fu dunr tnnm df ln Mnchnfl, ct df grfu frn, s prnmftn un trup tnn tu, spusf fl, mnlnnrdf df suflftf ntfnpt, s sf punt ncrnn. Flf tnu, c put s n ung n dfz!ultnrfn lur numnn ntuncn mnn dfpnrtf, dnc flf sf ncnrnfnz pf pmnt. $n ncfnstn fstf ns nf!unf df dun unmfnn, cnrf sunt dnspun, s pun ln dnspuznnf un .luc df prfgtnrf/, pfntru n-n fncf pusnnnl unun cupnl ncfnst !nn. Mfntnlntntfn nctunl fstf pfntru tuntf ncfstf suflftf u lu!ntur n fn. )fn mnn muln unmfnn sunt ntr-ndf!r nucurun, s nnn !unf s trnnsc nncn, s fn fust nscun, dnr cfn mnn punnn sunt dnspun, s dfn ncfnst !nn mnn dfpnrtf, pfntru c fn trfnunf ln ncfnstn s rfnunf ln u nucnt n lnnfrtnn lur prfsupusf. Ncftn unmfnn sf crfd lnnfrn, sunt df prfrf c nu sunt lfgnn n sunt dfpfndfnn df pnluln znlnnc cn un nlculnc df !frmut. Fn n nchnpunf, c sunt lnnfrn, prnn fnptul c !nzntfnz ct sf puntf df multf rn strnnf n nu n dnu sfnmn, c sf nfl sun unlngntn!ntntfn, df n clturn n dfprtrn, pfntru c snmt n nntfrnurul lur numnn !nd. Ncftn unmfnn sunt ntuncn cnrnctfrnznn cn fnnnd cu f,pfrnfn df !nn, prn!nn cu rfspfct prufund n cu nn!ndnf n dnn dnn mn-n mn cn sfnnn. )um nr fn dnc s-nr putfn fncf f,pfrnfnf f,tfrnunrf! Ndf!rntf f,pfrnfnf sf put fncf numnn n nntfrnur. $n ncfst lucru nu fstf nf!unf df culturn strnnf n rn ndfprtntf, fstf nf!unf dunr df unmfnn, cnrf nf ncun unr, pruffsnn, pf cnrf nm n!nt-u n mprf urrnlf df !nn, crurn lf suntfm sunurdunnn. Muln cunsndfr cn fnnnd ncfnstn u lnnfrtntf, s pun nfn fnfcnrf sfnr n urn, fr n fn nf!unt s nn sfnmn df cnnf!n. $n ncfnstn fn nu rfnlnzfnz, c sf nfl sun ncfn unlngntn!ntntf, s fnf nf!unn s nccfptf fnfcnrf nn!ntnnf, pfntru n fn .nn/ n nnumntf cfrcurn df cunutnnf, chnnr dnc ntmusffrn fstf ct sf puntf df rngnd n dnscunn ct sf puntf df nnnnl. Fn trfnunf fnfcnrf sfnr s nns n urn, pfntru c nu put s ncfnp nnmnc cu fn nnn, fnnndc lf fstf frnc fn df fn nnn, pfntru c lf fstf frnc, c, cnd n prpnstnn, cnrf sf dfschndf n nntfrnurul lur. Fn sucutfsc cn fnnnd lnnfrtntf, s dfnn dfstun nnnn n s-n punt chfltun dup nunul plnc, nu rfnlnzfnz ns, c fn sf nfl sun prfsnunfn df unlngnnf, s cunduc tutdfnunn mnnnn cfn mnn nuu n cfn mnn rnpnd, pfntru n nnsufln cu ncfnstn rfspfct cflurlnln. Fn nu sunt n stnrf, s-l !nd pf um, s fnc cu fl cuntnct, s ndmnt sfntnmfntflf lun. Fn !d numnn ncturul, mnrnunftflf ncflfn ncun urntf cu hnnnf, mnnnn, lucnn n prfstngnu sucnnl. Muln mfrg nstzn df n nn df dfpnrtf, s trnnsc pf dfplnn snngurn, s sf flnmnnf cuntnfnt n nfnrn urdnnnn *umnfzfnftn, pfntru n putfn sntnsfncf nfstnnghfrnn durnnflf n pntnmnlf lur. Fn cunsndfr cn fnnnd lnnfrtntf, s punt ntrfnnf rflnnn sf,unlf cu urncnrf pnrtfnfr n nu n dnu sfnmn, c fn sunt numnn prnzunnfrn nn !ncnnlur lur, c fn nu mnn put s fnf stpnn pf snnf, pfntru c nnstnnctul lur sf,unl n-n nrunnt pf dfplnn. Fn cunsndfr ncfnstn cn fnnnd lnnfrtntf, s punt prnctncn spurturnlf cflf mnn f,trn!ngnntf n nu-n dnu sfnmn, c fn sf nfl sun unlngntn!ntntf, s sf cunfnrmf n fnn lur nnn n n fnn cflurlnln cu nptntudnnn curpurnlf, pfntru c cflf spnrntunlf nu s-nu mnturnznt nc snu s-nu pnfrdut df n. )ffn cf cuntfnz, fstf numnn curpul, f,tfrnurul, f,punfrfn. +nlurn ndf!rntf nu sunt cfrutf, dunr nu sf put !fdfn, n ftn tutun numnn .cnnf!n/, dnc cfnlnln sf unt gur cnsc. *funrfcf cfn mnn punnn supurt ntr-ndf!r s fnf snngurn, trfnunf ntuncn urgnnnzntf ntrunnrn mnn mnrn, ln cnrf fstf mult mnn snmplu, s tf nscunzn n spntflf mtnn tnlf snu n spntflf cflurlnln. ' rflnnf fstf nccfptnt numnn pn ln punnt uf nu rfturn , dfcn pn ln ncfl punct, undf rnnunfn mnn puntf nc cuntruln sfntnmfntflf, rnnunfn, cnrf lucrfnz nn df mnzfrnnnl, c df fnpt nr trfnun s fnf f,nct nn!frs- snmul nr trfnun s stpnfnsc rnnunfn. n tuntf ncfstfn numnn dnn ncfn cnuz, pfntru c ncfstur unmfnn lf fstf tfnm, s sf dfschnd nltcun!n pf dfplnn, s-l prfnn pf ncfstn pf dfplnn n snmul lur. Frnc, df n fn nf!unt s dnn mnscn us n s stnn nncn gul. Frnc c cfllnlt nr putfn s-n rnfnsc, dup cf fn n-nu dnt us nrmurn lur, plntun cflur f,tfrnunrf. 'n nstffl df fgunsm n dunfnz suflftulun cu mult mnn mult, dfct cfn mnn muln put numnn s-n n nmngnnfzf. *nc n-nr fn nnstnnctul sf,unl nfnfrnnt, n dnc nu n-nr ncurcn sfmnnfncntn! mfrfu nnrn untnrfn n nfsngurnnn cflur mnn multf mn luncf prf!fntn!f, ntuncn n-nr mnn fn ncun nnsulut df luc pusnnnl, s fnn nscut pf ncfnst plnnft. )u tuntf c nr fn pusnnnl cu punn !unn nun n fr prunlfmf mn urf, s ndpustftn n s hrnftn pf pmnt df zfcf urnA!B mnsn df unmfnn nctunl, sf fncf nstzn tut pusnnnlul, s sf dfcnmfzf umfnnrfn, n unflf rn chnnr dnn cnuzn lfgnn, sun nmfnnnnrfn cu pfdfnps n cnz df nclcnrf. n dnc mn luncflf df prfcnunf sf,unl sunt df n pf dfplnn nfsngurf, n nnumf fr f,cfpnf, dfunrfcf flf trntfsc pruprnlur frnn n sururn un n fnn nnsulun, nstffl fstf n!urtul cfn mnn mnrf crnm mputrn!n umulun, cnrf n f,nstnt !rfudnt n cnrf !n f,nstn !rfudnt. *f n ln zmnslnrf, ndnt dup mprfunnrfn cflulfn df smn cu cfluln uu, fstf mncul trup - dfsprf ncfstn fstf nnumf df n !urnn - lucunt df un suflft. Nu fstf n tut unn!frsul nfmrgnnnt un snngur ntum, cnrf nu fstf nsuflfnt. Fnfcnrf nnnmnl, fnfcnrf plnnt, nn chnnr fnfcnrf pnntr fstf nsuflfnt, n nncn s pnrcurg ntuncn tucmnn fnnnn cfn mnn dfz!ultnt u stnrf fr suflft( "u nsun nn nflnt, ntuncn cnd nn luptnt cu mnmn tn pfntru !nnn tn n tf-n snl!nt nsfrnt numnn dfzncurdul nnsulut nl tntlun tu. Nmprf urrnlf df !nn pf cnrf lf-nn gsnt tu nncn, n sf putrn!fsc nf nn df prfcns, sf putrn!fsc cu dfz!ultnrfn tn spnrntunl, c nr fn durnt ntr-ndf!r mult tnmp, s sf gsfnsc nnrn mprf urrn nsfmntunrf pfntru tnnf. Mnn mult df cnncnzfcn df mnlnunnf trfnunf nnunl s pnrcurg ncfnst f,pfrnfn nmnr, c spfrnnn lur, s nnn !unf s sf dfz!ultf mnn dfpnrtf, s n ung ln un pns mnn nprunpf df *umnfzfu, fstf dnstrus nrutnl n fr mnl prnn n!urt. n tuntf ncfstfn numnn dnn fgunsm! *umnfzfu n df!fnnt un cu!nt strnn n ncfnst mprf urnmf. 'ndf stpnftf rcfnln, nghfn cldurn, n cu fn sf stnngf drngustfn. )t df muln mnn trfnunf s fnc ncfnst f,pfrnfn nmnr, nnnntf cn ncfstf gruz!nn s ncftfzf(

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3 "ntl mfu n-n dnt mult ustfnfnl cu mnnf. $n ncfput nm strpnt urncf ffl df ncfrcnrf. Fu nu !runnm s prsfsc nzulnnn mfn. Fu durfm s mfnnn lnnntfn mfn. *nr Mnchnfl m-n cun!nns, c ncfst lucru nu fstf drfpt. *nc cnnf!n n d ustfnfnl n !rfn s tf n utf, ntuncn nu ncfrcn s-l dfznmgftn. Nu l rfpfzn, cn d-n ucnznn cn s tf n utf, n prnmftf cu mulumnrn n uturul su. )u tuntf ncfstfn nu sf putfn unsfr!n nncn un succfs. )u tunt putfrfn !unnfn nu mn rfufn, s put s-mn cuntrulfz mnnnlf n pncnunrflf. &fntru c nu n!fnm cf s fnc cu mnnnlf, nu mn frn pusnnnl, s n! lnmnn surdu-munlur. *unr s dnu dnn cnp, ncfst lucru l putfnm fncf cu npru,nmnnf. Nnzndu-sf pf nlfnnftul mursf, mn-n crfnt tntl mfu pusnnnlntntfn, s spun n s f,prnm strnctul nfcfsnr. n ncum frnm tutun f,trfm df nucuruns, c nu nm rfnunnt. Nu sf putfn dnscutn prfn nnnf, dnr cfl punn ln lucrurnlf cflf mnn nmpurtnntf n!fnm n fu un cu!nt df .spus/. 3 .)unncndfnn/ n !rut, cn pf !rfmfn ncffn s sf nflf n nprupnfrf pfntru ctf!n znlf un nugnn nndnnn n ductur, un NCuDfdf, cnrf n!fn fnnmn lucrrnlur mnrnculunsf. Nun spfrnnf s-nu nprnns dnn nuu n tntl mfu, ntuncn cnd n mfrs cu mnnf n urn. $n !nnrnnnlf, pf cnrf lf fmnnn nugnnul, nm unsfr!nt fu, c trfnunn s fnf un nrnnt funrtf sfnt. Fl n ncfput nmfdnnt s !urnfnsc cu mnnf n spnrnt, nn cum nm cunuscut fu ncfnstn dunr df ln Mnchnfl. )u tuntf c fu nu fcfnm nnmnc, putfn s-mn sdfnsc gndurnlf snlf, n fu nm tnut, c fl lf puntf rfcfpnunn n pf nlf mflf. Fl prfn s tnf tutul, prfn s nflfng tutul. "ntn n unsfr!nt, c sf pftrfcfnu lucrurn nfunnnuntf n sttfn ct df lnnntnt putfn. Frn frumus. Fu n fn durnt s fn stnt df !urn cu ncfst um urf n nr, cnrf m nflfgfn n ntrfgnmf n m nccfptn nfcundnnunnt. 0n sfrnt s-n nturs sprf tntl mfu n n-n spusFu nu nm !unf s-l n ut pf cupnlul !ustru! *nc fu nn-n !nndfcn curpul, ntuncn nn-n umur spnrntul. F,nst lfgn n mprf urrn, df cnrf trfnunf s nnfm sucutfnl, pf cnrf nu putfm n nu n!fm !unf s lf rsturnm. +fn putfn nfln ncfnstn n cfl mnn scurt tnmp. Ntuncn nu nm tnut nc, cf !runn s spun cu ncfn nfnrmnnf. $n plfcnrf m-n cuprnns n nrnflf snlf n m-n nnnfcu!ntnt. 'n sfntnmfnt df cldur n df putfrf m-n nnundnt, nn cum fu nu l-nm mnn cunuscut pn ncum. 0n culunnn mfn !frtfnrnl prfn s curg un curfnt, cnrf n fcut s !nnfrzf ntrfgul mfu curp. N fust nn df putfrnnc, c mn-nm pnfrdut cunutnnnn. %unrflf lumnnn. *f nnnn cu tnmpul nm rfnlnznt, cn nsfmnn ncfnstn. %unrflf lumnnn! Frn nprunpf, putfnm s ntnnd mnn dup fl. Fu nprunpf c nm f,pludnt df nucurnf. 0n lnnntf nm ngfnunchnnt n nm ncfput s m rug. Fu m-nm snmnt nn df nprunpf df *umnfzfu, fu tnnm, c Nnsus 7rnstus nu frn dfpnrtf, fu tnnm, c frn Fl, pf cnrf putfnm s-$ !d n ncfn lumnn. )uplfnt m-nm ntnns pf nnrn n nm sn!urnt ncfst mnrncul. *nr ncft n ncfput s sf lnsf cfnn. Fnf dup fnf df cfn n ncfput s ncupfrf sunrflf, pn cnd nu s-n mnn putut !fdfn nnmnc. 0n cfnn dfns nm !zut dup mult tnmp cum sf nprupnn df mnnf u lumnn. Frn Mnchnfl. Fl nnfn n mn cu un fflnnnr n purtn u mnntnf nln cu u glug mnrf nln. )f s-n ntmplnt Mnchnfl, nm nuznt fu ncum cum nm ntrfnnt, cf mprf urrn suntf ncfstfn, df cf nu sf puntf !fdfn !rfu lumnn, df cf nncn un pfnsn ( 'ndf sunt psrnlf, undf sunt flurnlf mnnunntf( *f cf fstf nn df rfcf nncn( Nu-n fnf tfnm, fu !un fn mfrfu nlturn df tnnf. )hnnr dnc !ntul dur !n stnngf lumnnn n tu nu m mnn !fn putfn !fdfn, sunt fu tutun nlturn df tnnf. *f ncffn gndftf-tf, dunr cldurn puntf rupf ncfnst cfn. n ntr-nfd!r !ntul n stnns ncfn lumnn dnn fflnnnrul su, n nprunpf n ncflnn tnmp s-n nuznt un zgumut nnffrnnl. )f!n pncn pfstf mnnf, m ngrupn pur n snmplu. Fu nu mnn n!fnm nfr, fu !runnm s urlu! *up ncffn nu nm mnn tnut nnmnc. 3 )nd nm dfschns uchnn m nflnm n spntnl. &fstf mnnf ntrnnu ctf!n stnclf, pfstf mnn multf furtunf pncurn cf!n n curpul mfu. Fu snmfnm mnrn durfrn n pncnur, cnpul frn lfgnt, tutul m durfn, n fu frnm funrtf unusnt. Nu frnm n stnrf, s gndfsc nurmnl, fu nu tnnm cf sf ntmpln cu mnnf. Fr n n!fn !rfun rspuns, nm ndurmnt dnn nuu. Fr !nsurn, ndnc n ntunfcnt n fust nunptfn, pn cnd m-nm trfznt nnrn. *f cf m nflnm fu nncn( *f cf frnm n pnt( )f s-n ntmplnt cu pncnurul mfu, dnr cu cnpul mfu( n mnn nlfs, undf frn tntn( Fu nu mnn putfnm s-l snmt, fl trfnunn s fnf undf!n dfpnrtf. Nncft s-nu nturs frnturnlf df nmnntnrn nnpun. Nun nm fust ln ncfl ductur nndnnn, fl n-n lunt rmns nun, n-n strns tntlun mfu nc mnn n s-n untnt lung ln fl- Fn mfrgf drumul fn. Nu fstf uur, n !n df!fnn n mnn pnftrus, dnr fn l !n mfrgf. Nu ! fncfn grn n, urncf s-nr ntmpln. Ntuncn m-n nnnfcu!ntnt, n fu nm ndurmnt. "ntn n trfnunt s m duc ncns cu mnnnn. *unr, df cf frnm fu n spntnl, n df cf nu frn tntn nncn( *f cf nu frn df fnpt nnmfnn nncn( *up u !fnncnf nu !fnnt dun ducturn. &nrf s fnf trfnz, puntf c putfm df n s !urnnm cu fn. Fn m-nu ntrfnnt cum m chfnm, dnc tnnm cf s-n ntmplnt. Fu nm ncfrcnt s rspund cu cnpul, nn cum m-n n!nt tntn, dnr nu n funcnunnt. $n fnfcnrf mncnrf prfnu s sf prnufnsc munnn n prfnu s-mn sfnf cnpul. Fn cu sngurnn c nu m-nr fn nflfs prfn nnnf. Fn n-n pnfrdut prnn ncfl uc, tfmpurnr !ucfn, l-nm nuznt pf unul dnn fn s spun.

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)f uc( )f sf ntmpln nncn( *f cf nu mn spunf nnmfnn nnmnc( Nnnfnflfs c nu nu n!ut df undf s tnf, c fu frnm mut. n fu nu n!fnm nncn u pusnnnlntntf, s lf put cumunncn. Nu urmnt multf urf df nftnnn, plnnf df spnnm n dnspfrnrf. Mult tnmp nu crfzut ducturnn c mncnrfn trupulun n nf!urnnrfn frnu urmrnlf uculun, cu tuntf c sf mnrnu tut tnmpul, c tuntf cflflnltf !nlurn frnu n urdnnf. FFG n FEG, pulsul, prfsnunfn sngflun, tfmpfrnturn, tutul frn n urdnnf. %tnclflf nc frnu ngntf dfnsuprn mfn n pncurnu n curpul mfu. Nu mn frn funmf, dnr mn frn nfspus df sftf. )f nu n fn dnt dunr pfntru punn lnchnd. *nr fu nu m putfnm fncf unsfr!nt. Fu n!fnm durfrn n mn frn sftf, n frnm nfrncunt, u frnc df pnnnc. "rfnunn s sf fn ntmplnt cf!n ngruzntur, ncfst lucru l tnnm. *fudnt n stnt mnmn n fnn mfn. Fu nu nm !zut-u ntuncn cnd n !fnnt. 0n uchnn fn sf nflnu lncrnmn. Fn m-n lunt n nrnflf fn, n n ncfput s m mngnf. Ncfst lucru nu l-n fcut nncnudnt. n dfudnt nm tnut, nnnntf cn fn s-mn spun cf!n. "ntn fstf murt. &f nutustrnd n nntrnt ntr-un cnrnmnuln pf cfn dfns. "u nn fust nruncnt dnn mnnn pf un tufn, cnrf n-n snl!nt !nnn n n nmurtnznt lu!nturnlf tnlf, dup ctf n spus ducturul. *nr tntn n murnt. Mnnnn s-n nncfndnnt pf luc, fl nu s-n mnn putut snl!n. &fstf cnnzfcn df mnnnn nu fust nmplncntf, n nnmfnn nu n tnut df cnnf npnrnn. *f ncffn n durnt nn df mult, pn cnd fu tf-nm gsnt. &fntru mnnf s-n prnunt u lumf. )um frn pusnnnl, cum l-nu putut lun fn pf tntl mfu. Ncum, cnd n fust n sfrnt ncns, ncum, cnd n n!ut tnmp pfntru mnnf. *up cf s-n rnsnpnt nfsngurnnn, dup cf n df!fnnt ndf!r ngruzntur, n df!fnnt dfudnt tutul gul. Nu frnm n stnrf s gndfsc, fr n schnn !rfun gfst sttfnm fu. )um!n nu trfcut znlflf, mn frn tut unn. &fntru prnmn unr nm fust nucuruns, c nu putfnm !urnn, c m lsnu n pncf. %tnrfn mfn uscnln ntrf trnstff n furnf, ntrf ncuznnf n plngfrf df snnf, n n cuntnnu sf n!rtfnu n mnntfn mfn cu!nntflf- *f cf( *f cf fu, df cf nu nltcnnf!n( *f cf fu, cnrf n!fnm n nn multf df ndurnt, df cf nu nltcnnf!n, crunn n-n mfrs nnnf pn ncum( *f cf( Frn drfpt( Frn drngustf( *f cf nu m n utn Mnchnfl( *f cf nu frn nncn, cnd fu n!fnm nttn nf!unf df fl( *up ctf!n znlf fu nu nm mnn putut s plng. 'chnn mn s-nu umflnt n m nrdfnu. Fu pur n snmplu nu mnn putfnm nnnntn. Fu nu mnn !runnm. *nc n fn putut, n fn rfnunnt nmfdnnt. Fu !runnm s plfc, frn tut unn, dunr s plfc df nncn, dfpnrtf. % m rffugnfz df dfstnnul mfu, s fug df nfcnz. Fu !runnm s fug df mnnf nsumn, df prpnstnn, cnrf s-n dfschns dfudnt n mnnf. Multf sptmnn nu trfcut df n, df ntuncn df cnd nm prsnt spntnlul. *nr nmnrul mfu s-n nccfntunt mnn dfgrnn. &fntru prnmn unr n !nnn mfn fu m-nm mnuln!nt. Fu frnm nfspus df unusnt n n!fnm tut tnmpul tfmpfrnturn rndncnt, cu tuntf c fffctflf nccndfntulun nu dnsprut df mult.) !un n!fn un tnmp mnn ndflungnt durfrn df cnp, mn-n spus ducturul. *nr cf frn mnn ru n mnn nfplcut frn - fstf grfu df f,plncnt- Mnf mn sf prfn c m prnndfn cnnf!n df cunstf n m strngfn cn n cu nntf clftn df ufl. Nnr ln ncfnstn n!fnm tut tnmpul sfntnmfntul, c nu mnn nm nfr sufncnfnt. 2fspnrntul frn unusntur, fnfcnrf rfspnrnnf mnn ndnc durfn ngruzntur. Fu putfnm s rfspnr dunr supfrfncnnl. &ulsul frn funrtf rndncnt, fu snmfnm fnfcnrf ntnnf n nnnmnn, nn df pnrc nr !rfn nnnmn s f,pludfzf.Nns nncn mcnr nu mn-nu fust !tmntf cunstflf n nccndfnt. Nncn u ulntur, fr pftf nlnnstrf, nnmnc. &f ntuncn nu m-n durut nnmnc. Ncfstf snmtumf nu nprut cu tnmpul ncns. $n ncfput nm crfzut c m-nm nflnt, dnr cu tnmpul n df!fnnt mnn lnmpfdf, c fu nu nm mnn tnut, cf sf ntmpln df fnpt- 0ntutdfnunn !fdfnm n urul mfu cum sf furnnu umnrf ntunfcntf. Nu frn u nmngnnnnf, ncfst lucru l tnnm. +fdfnm ln ffl df nnnf cn nlt dnt, dfcn nu uchnn mfn frnu df !nn. Mnchnfl, pf cnrf l-nm rugnt s m n utf, nu mn rspundfn. Fu nm df!fnnt nflnnntnt n spfrnnt n nunptfn nu mnn putfnm s m udnhnfsc nnnf. Frnm tut tnmpul unusnt, nfr!uns n ngntnt n nntfrnurul mfu. Furnf, trnstff, suprnrf, dnspfrnrf, frnc. Ncfstf sfntnmfntf prfnu s sf schnmnf n mnnf, tuntf frnu prfzfntf dfudnt. n tutun n!fnm tuntf mutn!flf cn s m nucur. )cn mnmn s-n schnmnnt ntru tutul. Munrtfn tntlun n lu!nt-u tnrf# dnr nu mntfrnnl, cum nm crfzut fu, cu tuntf c df ncum !fnfnu !rfmurn n mnn gfrlf pf plnn mntfrnnl, cn suflftftf. Fn frn ndurfrnt pfntru nrnntul fn, nu pfntru cfl cf u ntrfnnfn- Fn frn ndurfrnt dnn cnuzn unun ndf!rnt prnftfn, nu dnn cnuzn ununn, cnrf n n!ut dunr grn df fn. 0nnntf nu nm n!ut nncnudnt sfntnmfntul cldurnn n nprupnfrfn fn. n ncum frn nprunpf plnn df tnndrff n drngustf n ncfrcn s m nlnnf, cu tuntf c n fn frn plnn df nfcnz. Fn sf rugn mprfun cu mnnf n fnfcnrf dnmnnfn n sfnr# fu nu nm !zut-u pn ncum s sf rungf. Fn mn-n spus c !nsn dfsfurn cu tntn. Nmfdnnt n n trfnn nunptf dup nccndfnt n nprut fl n !nsul fn. n df fnfcnrf dnt frn fl mprfun cu un prnftfn, cnrf sttfn n fundnl n nu sf rfmnrcn nncnudnt. Fl n!fn u run snmpl lung n nln, pr lung, undulnt n nlund, u curfn n urul tnlnfn, mpudunnt cu tut fflul df pnftrf prfnunsf, n u fn mult prfn tnr pfntru !rstn sn. "ntn frn mnrcnt cn df unncfn, fl nrtn ct sf puntf df nurmnl. *unr cnnnnnn sn nu mnn frnu nn df strmnn, cn fn nu df!fnnt ntr-ndf!r frumun. Fl nu n !urnnt ns nncnudnt cu fn, dunr ultnmn unr. Fl n spus dunr- *u-tf ln Nnnndn 2nmn. *up ncffn n srutnt-u , n nnnfcu!ntnt-u n n mfrs n nnsfrnc, pfntru n cntn pf u urg funrtf mnrf, pf cnrf fn n-u mnn !zusf nncnudnt. 0n mn lucul pnfsfn mnnunntf, pf cnrf fl u ntfrprftn, s-n trfznt fn. *f ntuncn nu n mnn !nsnt fn cu fl. Fn nu tnn ns, cum s sf fulusfnsc df ncfl nndncnu, s mfnrg ln ncfl nrnnt, pf cnrf fn nncn nu l cunutfn. Fu frnm furnuns! Nu putfn tnt s-mn npnr n mnf cfl punn u snngur dnt n !ns( Nu nsfmnnm fu nnmnc pfntru fl( *unnnlf s-nu ndncnt ndnc n nnnmn mfn. M-n nunnt fl unrf( Fu nm hutrt, s nu-n spun mnmfn, cn ncfl nrnnt frn ducturul n nugnnul nndnnn, pf cnrf l-nm !nzntnt mprfun cu tntn. *nr cf!n m-n furnt. )u ct m mputrn!fnm mnn mult, cu ntt mnn mnrf frn furn ncffn nntfrnunr. Fn prfn s nu supurtf nncn u mputrn!nrf. )t df nnnf nm putut, n-nm f,plncnt, n n sfrnt fn n nflfs. Fn frn funrtf nucuruns.

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*nr fu frnm prnns n mputrn!nrn n n suprnrf n nu m putfnm flnnfrn df ncfstf sfntnmfntf. Fu nu !runnm df fnpt, n m nscundfnm n spntflf nulnn mflf. Fu nm fust suprn duznt cu nntnnnutncf, dnr ffnrn nu cunurn, pn cnd dup pntru sptmnn n trfnunt s m nturc dnn nuu ln spntnl. %pntnlul frn plnn. Fu nm fust mpnns ntr-u ncpfrf, n cnrf sf nflnu df n pntru nulnn!n. Nulnn!n df munrtf! "un n!fnu cnncfr n ultnmul stndnu n fn suffrnu funrtf mult. )u tuntf c prnmfnu sufncnfnt murfnn frnu plnnn df durfrf. Fu nu nm mnn n!ut pur n snmplu tnmp, s m gndfsc ln mnnf, dfunrfcf mn ntrgfnu tunt ntfnnn ncftn unmfnn. *uu frnu ffmfn ln !rstn mn lucnf, unn n!fn trfn cupnn, nnr cfnlnlt pntru, n ncftnn !fnnfnu nprunpf n fnfcnrf zn cn s lf !nzntfzf. *nr ct df mnrf frn dnffrfnn ntrf fn! 0n tnmp cf u fnmnlnf nprunpf c plngfn tut tnmpul n nu frn n stnrf, s rfncnunfzf nurmnl, sf cumpurtnu cfnlnln, df pnrc mnmn lur nr n!fn dunr prunlfmf cu npfndncntn n s-nr ntunrcf n scurt tnmp nnrn ncns. Fn sf rugnu mult mprfun cu mnmn lur. Fn tnnu funrtf nnnf, c mnmn lur nu-n prsfn, c mnmn lur trnn mnn dfpnrtf n mult mnn fr grn n dfct pn ncum, dfunrfcf fn n prsfn dfct curpul. &fntru prnmn unr, dup munrtfn tntlun nm ncfput s m rug nnrn nntfnsn!. 'ptnmnsmul ncfstur unmfnn, drngustfn lur, n cunstrunt un znd n urul mfu, n cnrf fu m snmfnm prutf nt. )u tuntf c n!fnu dfstulf df ndurnt, nu rfunt, s m ntruduc n cfrcul lur, n ncfrcnu s-mn dfn n mnf curn . n df fnfcnrf dnt cnd nf rugnm, dnsprfnu ncflf umnrf, n prfsnunfn dnn pnfptul mfu sf nmflnurn. Nncftul cu ncftul nm ncfput s nnunfsc cf sf ntmpln cu mnnf. Nu, fu nu nnunnm, fu tnnm! Fu m-nm mpnfdncnt n pruprnnlf mflf frnghnn, m-nm nturs cu nmrncnunf df ln *umnfzfu, m-nm cfrtnt cu Fl n nm df!fnnt u prnd uunr pfntru putfrnlf ntunfcntf, cnrf tut tnmpul sttfnu ln pnd n ntfptnu, cn nun s nf lsm pf mnn lur. "ntn trnftf, mn-n trfcut mnf prnn cnp! )um nm putut s nm fu ndffn, c fl mn-n fust rpnt! )um putfnm fu s m gndfsc, s ncfp s m cfrt cu *umnfzfu, s-$ ncuz, cu tuntf c tnnm funrtf nnnf, c Fl nu fstf n stnrf, s lf pru!ucf !rfun ru fnnnflur %nlf! tnnm cu f,nctntntf, c *umnfzfu fstf drngustfn pur, drngustf, pf cnrf nun nu putfm s nf-u nmngnnm! *rngustf, cnrf nu punrt n snnf nncn cfl mnn mnc ru! Fu mnm spfrnnt df mnnf nsumn.)t df dfs nm n!ut fu !unf s cunusc ncfnst drngustf, ctf mn-n pu!fstnt n Mnchnfl dfsprf fn, ct df sngur m-nm snmnt, dn, ct df ncrfzut nm df!fnnt fu n ncfst sfns! Fu nm fcut prugrfsf mnrn. "untf umnlnnnflf lf-nm nccfptnt cu drngustf, rfpruurn, urn n ngrfsnunnlf nm putut s lf n!nng. Fu nm df!fnnt stpnn sfntnmfntflur mflf, nm nlungnt nndul, nm df!fnnt dfmn df drngustfn lun *umnfzfu. Nm crfzut cfl punn. n ncum s-n ntmplnt ncfnstn. )um n fust pusnnnl( *n, mn-nm pnfrdut fu unrf tuntf mnnnlf( Grfutntfn grfflnn mflf m-n fcut s m cutrfmur. Frnm fu, unrf, chnnr fu nsumn( Nm nntrnt fu n ncfnst cntnstruf cu uchnn dfschnn( M-nm prfdnt fu !uluntnr cn s df!nn mnngfn df unc n rulun( 0n cnpul mfu sf n!rtfn tutul. )nnn ndncn m-n cuprnns. Fu nm !rut s fug df nttn runnf, durfnm s m nscund. )um putfnm fu s pfsc n fnn lun Mnchnfl, cf !n gndn unrf *umnfzfu dfsprf mnnf( n dfudnt nu fust dnn nuu prfzfntf! )n nntf !nfspn s-nu npustnt nsuprn mfn. Nfnumrntf umnrf m ncun urnu, m trgfnu, ncfrcnu s m sugrumf. 0n cfn mnn mnrf dnspfrnrf nm strngnt fu dup Mnchnfl, dup Nnsus. N utnn-m, fu nu mnn put!

2 +nlurnlf df cfn s-nu rftrns ncft, prnmflf rnzf df lumnn s-nu rtncnt ln mnnf. Nnrn, flurn n pumn nu crfscut dnn cfn, psrn s-nu lsnt nnrn !zutf, lsnu nfrul s sf curfmurf uur cu !ucnlf lur !fsflf. Mncn cnscnd curgfn nnrn, dumnfn pncfn. %n nncn frn Mnchfnl! Nu plnn df rfpruurn, cum fu ntfptnsfm, nu sf!fr n nmfnnntur. Fu tf nunfsc. Fu nu tnnm cf s-n rspund ln ncfnstn. Fu m runnnm nn df tnrf. Fl s-n nplfcnt ln mnnf n us, m-n lunt n nrnflf snlf n m-n strns tnndru ctrf fl. Nu tf runnn! "u nn trfcut cu succfs df cfl mnn mnrf f,nmfn nl !nfnn tnlf. Nu !rfn tu s tf nucurn( )um pun tu s tf rzn df mnnf( Fu tnu c nm funt. Fu l-nm ngnnt pf *umnfzfu. Fu l-nm crfzut n stnrf, smn fnc ru dnn ndnns. Fu l-nm rfspnns. Fu chnnr nu put s m nflfg pf mnnf nsumn, nu put s m nfrt pf mnnf nsumn, cum !un putfn fu nstffl !rfudnt s pfsc n fnn lun *umnfzfu( "u l-nn rfspnns pf *umnfzfu, nu Fl pf tnnf. *umnfzfu nu rfspnngf nncnudnt pf cnnf!n, nncn pf cfl mnn mnrf dnn!ul, nncn mcr pf nsun $ucnffr. "u l-nn rfspnns, Fl n fust tut tnmpul ln tnnf. Ncum ftn tu nnrn nncn, n Fl nc mnn fstf nncn. )f s-n schnmnnt nndnr n cumpnrnnf cu cfn fust mnn nnnntf( *umnfzfu nncn mcnr nu trfnunf s tf nfrtf. *rngustfn nnrt tunt fnptn df n df ln ncfput. *rngustfn fstf u cuntnnu nfrtnrf, fn nu cundnmn nncnudnt, fn nu n!nnunftf nncnudnt, fn nu rfspnngf nncnudnt. "u l-nn rfspnns pf *umnfzfu n n-nn prncnnunt prnn ncfnstn nf nsun cfn mnn mnrf suffrnn. Nu pf *umnfzfu l-nn rnnt prnn ncfst fnpt, numnn pf tnnf nsun. Nnrt-tf pf tnnf nsun, nn cum *umnfzfu n fcut-u df n df mult. %nu !rfn tu s fnn mnn drfnpt dfct *umnfzfu( +rfn tu s tf cunsndfrn dfnsuprn $un( n tu ftn u fptur n lun *umnfzfu. *nc Fl n nfrtnt df mult ncfnst fptur, cum !rfn tu s ustnfncn ntuncn mnnn tn fn df tnnf( Fnfcnrf cdfrf df ln *umnfzfu nf dunfnz numnn nuu nnnf. *umnfzfu fstf nfntncnnnl. $umnnn $un n-u puntf ptrundf nncn u umnr, cflfn mnn nnltf nunnrn nu-n fstf pusnnnl, s fnf rnnt df ru. &fntru ncfst lucru trfnunn *umnfzfu mnn ntn s nns dnn %nnf nsun, trfnunn s-n crffzf u nndfntntntf prnn Nnsus 7rnstus, cnrf fstf n stnrf, s snmt rul, s-l punt pfrcfpf n s fnf n rflnnf cu fl. )t df sfrnus n lunt Fl ncfnst snrcnn, ncfst lucru l-n du!fdnt Fl

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cu !nnn %n pmntfnsc. Fl n suffrnt pfntru tut rul, n prnmnt ncfnstn trupfsc n suflftfsc sprf snmnrf. Fl s-n dus pnn ln grnnnn nnsulut, n dnt nc n cflf dnn urm. n pfntru tnnf, n pfntru fnptul, c tu l-nn rfspnns. *nr suffrnnn $un n cumpfnsnt df n ncfnstn. Fl pltnsf df n pfntru ncfst lucru. +nnn fstf df n nchntnt, tu gsftn numnn drngustf dup rfntunrcfrfn tn. "u nsun n-nn fn putut nncnudnt nchntn !nnn. "u tucmnn nn nflnt ncfnstn. )ununtfrfn !nnfn tnlf nu n-n fulusnt ln nnmnc, nncn cnnn tn. &utfrnlf nfgrf tf-nu mprfsurnt numnn nc tut mnn mult. *f-nnnn cnd nn dfclnrnt n dfplnnn smfrfnnf nfn uturnrfn tn n l-nn cfrut pf Nnsus dup n utur, df -nnnn ntuncn n fust nlturnt !rn n, df-nnnn ntuncn n-nn dnt tu pusnnnlntntfn, s tf n utf, s tf nglunfzf n pf tnnf n mnrfn $un frtf. *f ncffn fstf smfrfnnn nn df nmpurtnnt. %mfrfnnn rfcununtf pruprnn lnps df putfrf, fn nu susnnf cuntnnuu slu nrnlf fn prfsupusf, fn rfnun ln tuntf n unnnf prnn ncfnstn tuntf. %mfrfnnn fstf nnlftul df nntrnrf n curtul lun *umnfzfu, cnrf sf nrcunftf pfstf tun, cnrf !ur s sf ncrfnd n Fl. Nncn u furtun nu !n rupf !rfudnt ncfnstn. )nnf fstf df prfrf, c puntf s cunstrunnsc un curt pruprnu prnn pruprnnlf snlf rugcnunn n mfrntf, !n fn n!nt mnn nnnf cfl mnn trznu df ctrf u furtun putfrnnc, cnd curtul su !n fn pur n snmplu !nturnt nnnpudn. Nngmfnrf fstf numflf mnnmufn, cnrf n muc mfrfu dnn nuu pf unmfnn, cnrf n ndfnmn mfrfu nnrn s cunstrunnsc un curt pruprnu. Nu n-n rfunt nc nnmnun! Nu-n f rfpruurn, c tu nn czut n cnpcnnn rulun. &mntul fstf lcnul df sllunrf nl lun %ntnn. %ntnn fstf punctul cfntrnl nl pmntulun. *uhul su sufl pfstf tuntf, n uscnlnnlur snlf nu sf puntf nnmfnn sustrngf pf pmnt. &rnn cdfrfn lur df ln *umnfzfu, .pcntul strmufsc/, nu df!fnnt unmfnnn df un snngur cugft cu %ntnn. Fn n s-nu supus lun df nun !unf, ntruct s-nu dfprtnt df *umnfzfu. Nstffl n df!fnnt %ntnn stpnnturul pmntulun, n nnmfnn nu n putut scpn df fl. %ntnn sf numfn %ntnnn nnnntf df cdfrfn lun, ncfnstn nsfnmn pulul upus. Fl n fust prnmul n cfl mnn mnrf ngfr, crfnt df *umnfzfu cn pul upus pfntru %nnf, cn pulul upus, cnrf trfnunn s-n nduc nnrn nnpun drngustfn pf cnrf n trnmns-u n nfnr. Fl, n mprfun cu fl ntrfngn crfnnf, flf frnu prnctnc uglnndn, n cnrf *umnfzfu sf putfn !fdfn pf %nnf nsun. &fntru c ln cf fulusftf drngustfn, dnc nu fstf nnmfnn, cnrf fstf dnspus, s-u prnmfnsc( *nc nu fstf nnmfnn, cnrf trnnsfurm ncfnst drngustf n nnnmn lun n u trnmntf nnrn nnpun( Fstf f,nct cn ln rndnr. 'ndflf df rndnr sunt f,pfdnntf, sf lu!fsc df un unnfct n sunt df ncfstn nnrn nruncntf nnpun ln stnnn df fmnsnf. $n cf nr fulusn stnnn df fmnsnf, dnc n-nr f,nstn unnfctf, cnrf nr putfn nruncn undflf df rndnr nnpun( %nu cf fncf un uctur df tfnns df mns snngur( Fl lu!ftf mnngfn u dnt - n ncfstn nu mnn !nnf nncnudnt nnrn nnpun. )u tnmpul fl nncn mcnr nu mnn tnf, cum n nrtnt mnngfn, dn, dnc fl n lu!nt-u ntr-ndf!r. Nn n sf ntmpl n lun *umnfzfu. Fl nrf nf!unf df fptur, pfntru n prnmn drngustfn nnrn nnpun, pf cnrf u trnmntf n nfnr, dn, pfntru n %f putfn ntr-ndf!r df-nnnn rfcununtf, cn fnnnd drngustf. Nncn nu puntf Fl ns s fulusfnsc runun. &fntru c drngustfn puntf un runut punn s-u fulusfnsc. *nc fu n nrnt unun runut u nmngnnf n l ntrfn, dnc n plncf ncfnstn, ntuncn fl rspundf cu *n snu Nu, dfpnndf df fnptul, cum n fust fl prugrnmnt. Fl dunr nu nrf nncn u prfrf pruprnf, fl puntf rfdn numnn cffn, cf n-n fust ncndrnt n prugrnmnrfn lun. Nndnr, cnrf nr fn n ncfst cnz prugrnmnturul( *n, *umnfzfu nsun! 0n ncfnst cnz n unnnut Fl, dfcn, rspunsurnlf, pf cnrf Fl nsun lf-n pus n fpturnlf %nlf. )f nr putfn Fl, nndnr, ncfpf cu ncfnstn( Nu, runun nu n-nr fn fulusnt ln nnmnc. &fntru drngustf fstf ndfc!nt numnn u fnnn lnnfr, cnrf sf puntf dfcndf pf dfplnn lnnfr. &fntru c df-nnnn prnn dfcndfrfn sn cuntnfnt pfntru *umnfzfu nducf fn drngustfn nnpun, cnrf u ncun unr mfrfu. *umnfzfu trfnunn dfcn s nprnnd lumnnn n lumf, pfntru n putfn !fdfn. $umnnn fstf crfnnn, n ncfln, cnrf n ndus-u - ncfln n fust %ntnn! Fl sf n numftf ntr-ndf!r $ucnffr A&urttur df lumnnB. Fl n fust ncfln, cnrf n dus lumnnn df ln *umnfzfu n lumf n n fcut prnn ncfnstn df-nnnn crfnnn pusnnnl. Fl n fust nzfstrnt cu mnrf putfrf df ctrf *umnfzfu pfntru ncfnst fnpt, pfntru c un slnnug nr fn putut ndfplnnn ntr-ndf!r cu grfu ncfnst snrcnn. )rfnnn n fust ns unn curnt duhu!nncfnsc. Nu f,nstn nncn u mntfrnf, nncn un pmnt, nncn stflf. "utul cf frn, frn duh. $n cnrf fnpt, prfcum tnn tu ntr-ndf!r df n, duhul n mntfrnn nu sunt fsfnnnl dnffrntf. *uhul curnt fstf fnfrgnf cu u funrtf curnt n nnlt frfc!fn df uscnlnnf, n tnmp cf mntfrnf fstf .fnfrgnf cumprnmnt/, dfcn u frfc!fn df uscnlnnf nfcurnt n uns. Nndnr, n mfrs tutul nnnf un tnmp ndflungnt, pn cf $ucnffr n df!fnnt ngmfnt. +unnn lun lnnfr n putfrfn sn mnrf nu df!fnnt pfntru fl u fntnlntntf. Fl !runn s fnf cfl mnn mnrf, cfl dnntn. Fl s-n snmnt dfstul df putfrnnc, pfntru n sf luptn cu *umnfzfu n n ctngnt u pnrtf dnn ngfrn df pnrtfn lun. )nd plnnul fusfsf ntuncn gndnt, n n fust rznunul df n ln sfrnt. Nu n fust nncn un .rznun nl stflflur/ cu lncnn n tunurn. *uhul nu nrf nf!unf df unfltf. &rnn putfrf df !unn curnt fstf pusnnnl, s-n nluchfzn pf nlnn, s lf nfn fnfrgnn rfspfctn! s lf-u tnn. Ncfst prucfdfu fstf df nltffl n pf pmnt dfs prnctncnt. %f spunf d. f,. - Ncfln m fpunzfnz pf dfplnn, n sf rfffr cu ncfnstn nncuntnfnt ln ncfst prucfdfu. ' fnpt fstf cunsndfrnt ntuncn cn fnnnd s!rnt, cnd fn fstf n ntrfgnmf gndnt, cnd n duh sf nfl plnnul cumplft n nu mnn f,nst nncn u rfzfr! ln ndfplnnnrfn lun. Ncfst lucru fstf n pfntru pmnt !nlnnnl! Nndnr, cu *umnfzfu sf lns ru df luptnt. 0n mnnmn df sfcund n fust gntn luptn. $ucnffr n ngfrnn sn nu fust nruncnn n ndnc, cum sf spunf nn df frumus. Mnn curfct nr fn- Fn nu fust trnn n ndnc. *f pruprnn lur fnpt! *umnfzfu n-n pfdfpsnt nc nncnudnt pf nnmfnn n nncn nu !n fncf ncfnstn cu sngurnn nncnudnt. Fl nu fstf n stnrf pfntru nn cf!n. *rngustfn curnt n cfn mnn nnlt nunnrf nu puntf pfdfpsn, n m dunrf funrtf tnrf, s fnu nf!unt s nud mfrfu, cf nnnt nrutnl fstf *umnfzfu, cnrf n pfdfpsftf pf cupnnn %n ln fnfcnrf ucnznf numnn pusnnnl n n nrunc ln sfrnt pf cfn mnn muln n fucul !fnnc. n ln u nsfmfnfn fnnn n spunfn !un drng "nt. Fu l-n numn mnn dfgrnn un tnrnn nsftnt df sngf. *nr *umnfzfu nu fstf nn. Fl nu pfdfpsftf nncnudnt! Fl fstf numnn drngustf n nfrtnrf. *uhul sf pfdfpsftf mult mnn mult pf snnf nsun. Fnfcnrf fnpt cunnnf nutumntnc df n urmnrfn n snnf. Fstf nn, cn n cum dnc cnd n mn ulfsc gfnunchnul. Nncn un um nurmnl n-nr !fnn pf ndffn s spun, ncfnstn fstf pfdfnpsn pfntru cdfrfn pf

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us. Nu, fstf pur n snmplu urmnrfn df ln ncfnstn. n dnc cnd mnn tnrf, ntuncn mn lu,fz tucmnn pncnurul# snu mnn tnrf, ntuncn fstf fl tucmnn rupt. "untf sunt urmrn nfnprntf nlf cdfrnn, fr cn nltcnnf!n s-mn rndunnsc .pfdfnpsn/. Nn stnu lucrurnlf n ln duh. )dfrfn df ln *umnfzfu fstf u grffnl nn df nsfmnnt, fn fncf duhul s sf cufundf ntt df ndnc, c prnn ncfnstn fnfrgnn curnt n duhulun fstf nn df murdrnt n cumprnmnt, c fl cndf dnntr-u stnrf curnt duhu!nncfnsc ntr-u stnrf dn!nznnnl mntfrnnl, cnrf, cn n ln cdfrfn pf us, sf urnfntfnz dup grn!ntntfn grfflnn. Nutumntnc! Numnn prnn ncffn c fnfrgnn fstf murdrnt prnn gndurn. Nn n fust n ln .cdfrfn ngfrnlur/. *umnfzfu n trfnunt dunr .s-n rndncf mnn/, pfntru n cuntrncnrn ntncul duhu!nncfsc. "untf cflflnltf s-nu ntmplnt df ln snnf. $ucnffr n ngfrnn lun n-nu czut nncn fn nmfdnnt n .nnd/, fn .nu nlunfcnt mnn ntn numnn punn n us/. n cn n !un unmfnnn, tut nn nu nntfrprftnt n fn ncfnst cdfrf cn fnnnd u pfdfnps. Fn nu df!fnnt ncpnnn n furnun n nu ncfput, s-$ urnsc pf *umnfzfu, cnrf n-n lu!nt prftnns nn df tnrf. )ffn cf nsfnmn ns urn, n-nm f,plncnt ntr-ndf!r df n. 'rn fstf cfn mnn uns uscnlnnf. )u ct mnn mnrf n df!fnnt urn, cu ntt mnn ndnc s-nu cufundnt duhurnlf n stnrfn lur df uscnlnnf, cu ntt mnn mntfrnnln nu df!fnnt flf. N fust un ndf!rnt .cfrc !ncnus/. )u ct mnn mult ur n!fnu flf, cu ntt mnn mult sf cufundnu, n cu ct mnn ndnc sf cufundnu flf, cu ntt mnn mult l urnu pf *umnfzfu pfntru ncfnst .pfdfnps/. Nndnr, ln %ntnn n fust grffnln cfn mnn mnrf. Fl n fust cfl mnn nprunpf df *umnfzfu. Fl n fust cpftfnnn. Fnnnn lun sf nfl prnn ncfnstn nstzn n cfn mnn uns stnrf df uscnlnnf, cnrf f,nst ntr-ndf!r, n, nstffl, fstf fl cfn mnn cumprnmnt mntfrnf, nfclnntnt cn u pnntr. Fl n df!fnnt punctul cfntrnl mntfrnnl nl pmntulun! *nr *umnfzfu nu n-n lunt putfrfn. *umnfzfu nu n-n lunt nc nnmnun cf!n !rfudnt! *f ncffn pru!nnf fnptul, c $ucnffr fstf nzfstrnt cu u nsfmfnfn putfrf. *umnfzfu n spus u dnt- *nc nm fcut fu !rfudnt u grffnl, ntuncn ncffn, c l-nm crfnt pf $ucnffr prfn dfs!rnt. Ncfnstn nsfnmn ns- Fl nu-n fncf nncn mcnr lun $ucnffr !rfun rfpru! &un tu nflfgf dnmfnsnunfn ncfstfn prupuznnn( Nncn mcnr ncfpturul n tut rul nu fstf cundnmnnt df *umnfzfu. *rngustfn pur n snmplu nu puntf pf nnmfnn s-l cundnmnf! Ncfnstn nu nrf nnmnc dfn fncf cu fnptul, c *umnfzfu n-nr fn ntutputfrnnc. *umnfzfu fstf ntr-ndf!r ntutputfrnnc. *nr ntutputfrnncnn nu puntf tutul, fn nu puntf prucfdn mputrn!n fn nnn! *rngustfn nu puntf ur, nfrtnrfn nu puntf pfdfpsn, nncn chnnr ln tunt .ntutputfrnncnn/. *nc nr n!n unmfnnn ncfnstn tutun n sfrnt u dnt n prufunznmf. *umnfzfu tnf c n $ucnffr sf !n ntunrcf ntr-u zn nnrn ln Fl, n Fl l !n ntmpnnn cu nrnflf dfschnsf. $ucnffr fstf nnumf fnul pnfrdut, dfsprf cnrf Nnsus spunf n plndn $un, n pf cnrf "ntl l !n prnmn cu tunt cnnstfn dup rfntunrcfrfn sn. Numnn c ncfnstn !n durn cu sngurnn nc .!fnncnn/, dnr *umnfzfu nu gndftf n urf n znlf. Fl gndftf n .durntf df tnmp df crfnnf/, pf cnrf nun nu nn lf putfm nchnpun. Mumfntnn, n urncf cnz, fstf %ntnn punctul dnn cfntru nl pmntulun n stpnnturul pmntulun. Nnmfnn nu sf puntf sustrngf df ln uscnlnnnlf snlf. n dnn ncfnst cnuz fstf fnptul, c nu pun fn nfutru pf pmnt. )nnf fstf nfutru pf pmnt, .dfschns lumfsc/, cum sf spunf nn df frumus, fstf pus prnn ncfnstn nutumntnc sun sffrn df nnflufnn n lun %ntnn. Fstf f,nct nn, cn n cum tu tf-nn ducf ntr-un turfnt df flu!nu sprf u cnscnd. Nncn n ncfst cnz tu nu pun rmnf nfutru, cn tu trfnunf s !slftn mputrn! cu tunt furn, cn s n ungn ln mnlul prutfctur n s nu fnn trns df cnscnd n ndnc. )nnf rmnf nfutru, fstf cuprnns df uscnlnnnlf lun %ntnn n fstf u unfnlt n u !nctnm supus n urfn snlf mputrn!n lun *umnfzfu. "u nsun nn trfcut prnn ncfnstn . Ntuncn cnd dup munrtfn tntlun tu nn ncftnt s tf urnfntfzn nctn! sprf *umnfzfu n cu nntfnnf s trnftn cuntnfnt drngustfn n s-$ nunftn pf *umnfzfu, ntuncn nn nntrnt tu nutumntnc n !rtf ul lun %ntnn, cnrf tf ntncnsf cu dunnnlf snlf n tf furnsf nstffl df ln cunfctnrfn tn cu *umnfzfu. "u nn df!fnnt u mnngf df uc nl lun %ntnn, nu pfntru c tf-nn pus nctn! n cuntnfnt df pnrtfn lun - dnc nn fn fcut tu ncfnstn, nu n-nr fn rfunt ntunrcfrfn tn nncn pf dfpnrtf nn df uur - , cn numnn prnn ncffn, c nn ncftnt s-l nunftn pf *umnfzfu ntr-un mud nctn!. Nfutrnlntntf nr putfn fn prunnnnl pf stflf, pf pmnt, fn nu f,nst. )nnf nu fstf pfntru *umnfzfu, fstf mputrn!n $un. Nncn nu fstf pfntru ncfnstn ndfn uns, s tf nn df un *umnfzfu nfpfrsunnl, cnrf st undf!n n ndncurnlf unn!frsulun n n crfnt tuntf dnn ncfputurn n tf pumfnftn c nc Fl nsun n pus rul n nnnflf n lumf, cn unmfnnn s sf punt dfcndf lnnfrn pfntru unn snu cfnlnlt! 'nnn mfrg chnnr nn df dfpnrtf df n spunf, c fnnnn *umnfzfu nr cunnnf df n tut nnnflf n rul, *umnfzfu nf-nr fn numnn prnn ncffn supfrnur, c nnnflf nr fn nnut ln Fl supfrnurntntfn. %nu fn l cunsndfr pf *umnfzfu, cn fnnnd .f,pluznn dnn ncfputurn/, prnn cnrf ntuncn n dfcursul tnmpulun snu furmnt tuntf. Mnlnnrdf df mutnnn Aschnmnrn nlf gfnflur, cnrf slu fsc cn mudfl pfntru cflulB nr fn nfcfsnrf, pfntru n n ungf df ln mntfrnn fr !nn ln lumfn plnntflur n ln lumfn snmpl n nnnmnlflur, nltf mnlnnrdf pfntru n n ungf df ln lumfn nnnmnlflur snmpl ln ncfn mnn nnlt n nnnmnlflur n nfnumrntf mnlnnrdf, pfntru n n ungf df ln cfl mnn f!ulunt nnnmnl ln um. Nntr-ndf!r sunt mutnnn cunstntf pfrmnnfnt. *nn u sut sunt nuuzfcnnnuu fr sfns snu duntunrf n duc urn ln munrtf - cnncfrul d. F,. fstf chnnr unn dnntrf ncfstfn - , snu flf sunt nnrn suspfndntf df ctrf nntur. 'nn dnntr-u sut fstf nngfnnuns n sfr!ftf cfl mnn ndfsfn ln ndnptnrfn ln un mfdnu ncun urtur schnmnnt. Nln dnnn df f,fmplu ln schnmnnrfn unncfnulun lur nnturnl, snu pncnunrf mnn lungn n mnn nun, dnc fstf nfcfsnr, snu u nlnn mnn gruns, ntuncn cnd clnmn sf schnmn. Nncn u snngur schnmnnrf nu s-n ntmplnt ln !un n ultnmnn mnn df nnn, cnrf fr fn prfsupus dunr trfcfrfn df ln u fnz ln cfnlnlt. Nncn cfn mnn mnc schnmnnrf n ncfst dumfnnu nu sf puntf du!fdn. *nr n nnnn dnn-nnnntf, s fnn f,nstnt, unrf, mnlnnrdf df schnmnrn ffncnfntf( Ncfnst tfurnf sf nnzfnz n mnrf pnrtf pf dfscupfrnrnlf unsflur prf nsturncf, cnrf df unncfn dnspnr fr prfn mnrf glgnf n .nsturnn pu!fstnt df lumfn mult untnt/, cnd sf dfscupfr fnlsul, snu df f,fmplu cnd dnntflf snngur, dnn cnrf sf rfcunstrunftf un ntrfg schflft umnn cu tuntf unsflf n nndncnnlf snlf, n ln sfrnt sf du!fdftf c n fust tutun un dnntf df purc A!B! )unstrucnn rnhntnc n dffurmnt n nfnndfrtnlfrulun - unnn pruffsurn nu unsfr!nt cu drfpt - trfnunf s nn cn u du!nd ffrm pfntru pru!fnnfnn umulun cnrf sf trngf dnn mnnmu, nnr ncfst fnpt fstf u .cunncndfn/. Ncfnst du!nd

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nr trfnun s-$ fnc dnspfnsnnnl pf *umnfzfu, ccn dnc tutul s-n ntmplnt prnn .cunncndfnn/ mutnlrnn, ntuncn sf puntf s rfnunm ln Fl. n ncfnst tfurnf mnn fstf n nstzn !nlnnnl, cu tuntf c *nrDnn, nn!fntnturul fn, n n!ut dunnn ln sfrntul !nfnn snlf. Nnmnc, nncn cfl mnn mnc gruntf nu n fust nfnnnnt dnn grffnl! "unt crfnnn mntfrnnl fstf u cupnf fndfl n spnrntunlulun. Fn fstf gndnt pn n nmnunt n fulusftf dunr pfntru cnptul fnnnl n mnrf, dfunrfcf tutul cf n fust crfnt trfnunf s n ung nnpun ln "ntl. *nc nu mnn fstf nf!unf df u spfcnf, ntuncn ncfnstn dnspnrf# ccn nltffl nr mpnfdncn dunr. *nr dnc fstf nf!unf df u spfcnf nuu, ntuncn ncfnstn sf dfz!ult cunfurm plnnulun. *nr nncnudnt dnn grffnl! )nnf nu-$ mnn !fdf pf *umnfzfu cn u pfrsunn, cnnf nu mnn fstf n stnrf, s-$ rfcununsc cn pf un "nt nunntur, ncfln n pnfrdut df n pf umtntf. )cn cum n putfn fu s nunfsc u putfrf df !fcn, . un )f!n nfcunuscut/, df cnrf tnu ntr-ndf!r, c m-n crfnt cn n tut cf f,nst, cnrf ns ncfpf s plnfnsc tutul, fr mnl, fr n utur% sf untf umul, cum nfsf dnn ncfnst mnzfrnf, fl snngur n prncnnunt ncfnstn! Ncfstn nu mnn fstf un *umnfzfu, cnrf puntf fn nunnt! )fl mult un nnnmnl df !fcn, df cnrf trfnunf s tf ffrftn! $n un nstffl df *umnfzfu n fn df!fnnt df n df mult tnmp un drnc. "untf ncfstf tfzf lf-n mprtnnt %ntnnn n lumf, ccn cu ct mnn dfpnrtf fstf *umnfzfu dnn cuntnnnn umulun, cu ntt mnn grfn df!nnf lfgturn cu Fl n cu ntt mnn mnrf putfrfn lun %ntnnn. F,nct nn n rfunt fl, s nlungf dnn cuntnnnn unur unmfnn ngfrnn. )um put fu s cfr cun!n n uturul, df cnrf fu crfd, c fl nncn nu f,nst( Ncfnstn fstf ntr-ndf!r un .lucru dnn!ulfsc/. n mnrfn lu!ntur n-n rfunt df nnnn n ultnmnn nnn, ntuncn cnd n rfunt s sf dfclnrf nnf,nstfnt!&fntru ncfnst upfr df nrt mfrnt fl df fnpt tunt rfcununtfrfn. )um m put spfrnn fu df cnnf!n snu cum m put ffrn, df cnrf crfd, c df fnpt nu f,nst( *nc nu mnn f,nst dnn!ulul, nu mnn trfnunf s-mn fnf frnc df fl, snu nu( Fu nu trfnunf s m ffrfsc! Fu put s rfnun n ln furn mrfn n lun *umnfzfu. )cn un dnn!ul, cnrf !rfn s m ndfprtfzf df fl, nu f,nst df fnpt! Ncfst lucru fstf ntr-ndf!r dur! n umfnnrfn crfdf cu cuntnnnn mpcnt. *nc nn putfn !fdfn, cum sf nucur %ntnnn, cum n nntf uc df ncftn dunntucn, !un nn rfnunn ln tuntf nnt ucurnlf. Nu! *nn!ulul fstf nn df rfnl cn tu n fu. *fcn nu tf chnunn mnn dfpnrtf, c tf-nn lsnt prnns n cnpcnnn sn. 'n pns grfnt pun fncf pf drumul tu sprf *umnfzfu, tu nn !unf n s cnzn, dnr nu nn !unf s rmn pf us! )fn mnn muln sfnnn nu nu fust unmfnn mnn nnln. )hnnr n fn nu fcut un pns grfnt. *nr fn s-nu rndncnt tut tnmpul dnn nuu. 'mnln n plnnn df drngustf. Nnmfnn nu sf puntf sustrngf pf pmnt df nnflufnn lun %ntnnn. %ntnnn l-n nspntnt dunr n pf Nnsus 7rnstus. Fl nu n rfunt, dnr nu l-nr fn nspntnt, dnc nu nr fn n!ut nncn u nns. Nncn %ntnnn nu fncf !rfun pns nfgndnt. Ncfnstn n fust mnrfn fnpt n lun *umnfzfu , c nu n !fnnt cn un *umnfzfu pf pmnt, cn cn un ndf!rnt um. F,nst dunr punnn cnrf sunt n stnrf, s nflfng dnmfnsnunfn rfnl n ncfstfn fnptf. %f spunf nn- Nnsus 7rnstus nr fn putut pnfrdf! )n fnfcnrf um nr fn putut s nccfptf nspntflf %ntnnfn# ntuncn nu n-nr fn rfzul!nt mnsnunfn, n %ntnnn nr fn fust ctngturul! )f nr fn nsfmnnt ncfst lucru, nu putfn s ! mngnnnn! N fust un rnsc fnurm df mnrf, cnrf l-n nccfptnt Nnsus. Nnsus n rnscnt tutul - n n ctngnt tutul. Fl n rfunt! Fl n df!fnnt pudul ntrf "ntl n unmfnn. Fl putfn nfnrmn cu drfptntf- Fu sunt cnlfn! *umnfzfu nsun n dnt chfnn unmfnnnlur pfntru mprnn %n. *nr nu cu putfrfn ntutputfrnnc n *umnfzfntnn $un. Nu, umnl n-n urmnt lfgnlf pruprnn, s-n zntut cn um prnn nurunnnn dfns df rutntf sntnnnc, prnn mnncnun, nflcnunf n nspntf n prnn ncfnstn n putut Fl s snmt ntrfg rfpfrturnul n rulun pn ln nrutnlntntfn f,tfrnunr. Nn cum n fust df nfclnntnt, n putut s nn chfnlf dnn mnn %ntnnfn. Fnfcnrf um nrf n mnnnlf snlf chfnlf pfntru mprnn lun *umnfzfu. *nr drumul pn nculu, trfnunf s-l mfnrg fnfcnrf snngur! Fstf ncflnn drum, pf cnrf n mfrs n Nnsus 7rnstus- prnn nurunnnn rutnn sntnnncf, prnn nflcnunn, mnncnun n nspntf. Nncn ununn, cnrf !rfn s ctngf cfl mnn nnlt truffu, nu fstf scutnt df ncfstfn. &nn grfnn n grffln - sunt nurmnlf pf ncfst drum, n nnmfnn nu !n fncf !rfun rfpru. *umnfzfu tnf ncfstf grfutn, Fl nsun lf-n trnt! Fl nu snmtf nncnudnt furnf snu suprnrf. 2spunsurnlf %nlf sunt mnln, nflfgfrfn n rndnrfn. Nnsus fstf cnpnnnl s snmt, s suffrf mprfun cu tnnf, dnr nncnudnt nu !n udfcn. *rngustfn %n fstf mnlustn!nrfn f,nct ntt df nfmrgnnnt cum fstf Fl nsun. Fn mulumnt c nn n!ut !unf s trnftn ncfnst f,pfrnfn. "u !fn n!fn pf !nntur mnn mult grn n nu tf !fn schnmnn prfn uur. n tu !fn ncfrcn s nu mnn fn nn df ncrfzut n !fn ncfrcn s df!nn ct mnn umnl. *rngustfn n umnlnnn tf !ur scutn pf !nntur df nstffl df f,pfrnfnf. *umnfzfu nu tf-n cundus sprf nspnt, dnr Fl n ngdunt tuntf ncfstfn n n-n dnt nnsn s tf gndftn ln tnmp, nnnntf cn s df!n prfn sngur df tnnf, c s nu mnn fn putut !fdfn ntrfg ndf!rul. N urmnt u tcfrf ndflungnt. Fu mn-m rugnt n n-nm mulumnt lun *umnfzfu, c m-n dfsclcnt nf!tmnt, n c nm n!ut !unf s n! nttfn lucrurn. )nnf crfzn tu c tf-n snl!nt, dnn mnrnnrfn tn cu $ucnffr( Mnchnfl n ntrfrupt !nsflf mflf. *n - *umnfzfu, nnnfnflfs! Ndf!rnt, *umnfzfu fstf ncfputul, Fl fstf rspunztur pfntru tutul n pfstf tuntf. *nr Fl nu nfptunftf nncnudnt dnrfct pf pmnt. Fl n nfnnnnt n putfrfn %n mnrf lfgn cnrf !ur fn tut tnmpul n n ntrfgnmf !nlnnnlf, n pf cnrf nncn Fl nu lf ngnur. &rnn ncfnstn nu puntf un duh - dfcn n *umnfzfu - s nfptunnsc cf!n dnrfct n mntfrnf. *umnfzfu fstf dfntnstul, dnr cn s punt s scunt u msfn fstf nf!unf df un clftf, df u unfnlt. n cu tuntf c nu n-nr trfcf nnmnun prnn cnp, s n mulumfnsc clftflun, c n-n trns ntt df f,trnurdnnnr msfnun, fstf tutun nfcfsnr, ccn nncn cfl mnn nun dfntnst nu puntf fncf nnmnc fr fl. Nn nrf nf!unf n *umnfzfu df u unfnlt, ntuncn cnd Fl !rfn s nfptunnsc cf!n pf pmnt. 2ugcnunfn n mfdntnnn dfschnd drumul pfntru ncfnstn. Ntuncn nn fust tu(

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Nu! Mnchnfl n rs. n fu sunt un duh pur, n nu put fncf nnmnc dnrfct pf pmnt. Fu put s-n strfcur gndurn n put s tf cunduc n lnnntf pf drmul tu n prnn ncfnstn s tf mnn ndrfpt. Fu sunt n stnrf, s tf scutfsc df rflf, dnc tu trnftn pf ncffnn lungnmf cn mnnf n dnc m rugn. *nr n ncfnst sntunnf nu nn !rut s tnn nnmnc df mnnf. Nu, n fust Nnnndn 2nmn, cnrf tf-n flnnfrnt. "u n nducn nmnntf- Mnmn tn l-n !nsnt, n dunr cu mnrf ffurt n-nn pu!fstnt tu df fl. Ncfln, cnrf tf-n mpnns sprf ncfnstn, nm fust fu. *fcn, mnmn tn n fust ln Nnnndn n n-n pu!fstnt df stnrfn tn. Nnnndn s-n ucupnt df ndnt df tnnf. Fl n prfgtnt spnrntunl drumul, n rfunt, cn tu s n ungn n spntnl lng ncfn unmfnn, cnrf n-nu dfschns n sfrnt uchnn. Fl tf-n prutf nt df putfrnlf rflf, lf-n nnut dfpnrtf df tnnf. n fl tf-n prfdnt pf mnnnlf mflf, ntuncn cnd tu nn strngnt ln cfn mnn mnrf nnnnghnf dup mnnf. Nnr n urmnt u pnuz lung, cnrf mn-n fulusnt, s rfcfpnunfz cu snmul, dfunrfcf crfnfrul mfu funrtf mnc nu frn n stnrf. Nun sttfnm lng un mnc lnc, nruntflf cntnu, lnnflulflf znurnu n urul mfu, u !npfr sf trn lng mnnf prnn nnrn. 'rmnd un nmpuls, nm mngnnt-u. Fn mn-n mulumnt n s-n pus lng mnnf. Frn mnnunnt. ' nrunsc srfn, n pfntru prnmn unr nm unsf!nt- tuntf nnnmnlflf trnnu mprfun n lnnntf! Nncn unul nu sf dfrnn n pf nltul, nu sf mncnu rfcnpruc. )um sf hrnfsc ncfstf nnnmnlf( l-nm ntrfnnt fu pf Mnchnfl. Flf nu nu nf!unf df hrnn, Nncn nun nu n!fm nf!unf df hrnn. Nun trnm dnn ncfn lumnn n dnn putfrfn lun *umnfzfu, cnrf nf ncun unr pfrmnnfnt. )u tuntf ncfstfn mnn mncm n nun dnn cnd n cnd ctf cf!n. *f unncfn mncm fructf, cnrf sunt cultn!ntf n grdnnn spfcnnl nmfnn ntf. Flf ns nu nu rulul s nf ntrfnsc trupul. Nun mncm mprfun dnn cnuzn cumpnnnfn, dfunrfcf stm cu tunn mprfun. )hnnr n nnnmnlflf mnn mnnc dnn cnd n cnd fructf. % umunrf, cn s suprn!nfunnsc, ncfst lucru f,nst dunr dfpnrtf df *umnfzfu n nu sf mnn ntmpl ln fnnnf mnn nnltf. &fntru prnm unr, df mult tnmp ncuncf, nm fust fu dnn nuu ffrncnt. Fu nm stnt ct mnn nprunpf df nsunturul mfu n nm ndurmnt ndnc, cundus df sunftflf mnnunntf nlf psrnlur n df zgumutul prnftfnus nl !npfrfn. *fudnt n nprut tntn n fnn mfn. Fu nu nm putut s !urnfnsc df nttn nucurnf, lncrnmn curgfnu pfstf chnpul mfu, ntuncn cnd fu m-nm nflnt n nrnflf snlf. "u prustu mnc! )um nn putut dunr s crfzn u clnp, c fu tf-nm prsnt( Fu nu tf !un prsn nncnudnt, nttn tnmp ct !n durn !fnncnn. Fu mn-nm tfrmnnnt lucrul pf pmnt. Fu nm dnt drumul ln multf ln!nnf mncn. &f ntuncn nu prfn nm snmnt mult dnn ncfstfn. Fu frnm dfsfurn trnst n dnspfrnt, m-nm pus pf mnnf nsumn sun sfmnul ntrfnrnn. *nr df nncn put funrtf nnnf s lf !d dfz!ultnrfn. 'nflf nu df!fnnt ln!nnf ndf!rntf, nltflf mnn nu nf!unf df tnmp. Nltflf puntf nu nf!unf df funrtf mult tnmp. *nr nncn mfrgf nltffl tnmpul, n nfrndnrf f,nst dunr pf pmnt. Fu mn-nm tfrmnnnt lucrul pf pmnt. Fu nm sfmnnt rsndul mfu, s strupfsc n s lf rrfsc put df nncn mult mnn nnnf. Fu sunt nucurus n mulumnt, c "ntl nustru m-n lunt nnpun. Fu .lucrfz/ nncn mnn mult dfct nnnntf pf pmnt. *nr lucrul nncn nu fstf unusntur. % nn !unf s lucrfzn nncn fstf u nucurnf mnrf. Nncn nu fstf nnmfnn nf!unt cn s nnn succfs. Nncn dumnn pncfn n ffrncnrfn, nn cum nu s-nr putfn msurn ncfstf lucrurn pf pmnt. Nmn pnrf ru tnt, c nm fust df nfcunsulnt, c nm durnt s tf nturcn. Ncum m nucur mprfun cu tnnf, c nn n!ut !unf s plfcn. "f rug frumus s m nfrn. Fu nu trfnunf s-n nfrt nnmnc. "f rug s m scuzn tu pf mnnf, c tf-nm prsnt nn, dnn sfnnn. *nr fu crfd, c n pf !nntur !um putfn pftrfcf dfstul tnmp mprfun. Fu stnu n nn tut tnmpul lng tnnf, ln ffl cn n Mnchnfl. "u nn n uns df n funrtf dfpnrtf, n nu mnn fstf nf!unf df prfn multf, n !fn putfn fn nncn ln nun, ntuncn cnd tu durftn ncfnstn. Mnchnfl n !n putfn spunf mnn multf. Fu m nucur, c nu mnn ftn trnst. "f nunfsc. %uccfs, pf curnd. Fu m nflnm nc n nrnflf lun Mnchnfl. Fu nm !nsnt cu tntn. Mnchnfl n rs. "u nu nn !nsnt! $n nun nu f,nst nncn un ffl df tnmp snu spnnu. "u ftn nutumnt nculu, undf !rfn s fn. n-n fust dur df tntl tu n nn fust ntr-ndf!r ln fl. )u tuntf c fl sf nfl l cn!n nnn lumnn dnstnn. Nu nn unsfr!nt tu dnffrfnn( Nculu f,nst u cu tutul nltffl df !fgftnnf. Mnn punnf flurn, mnn punnf nnnmnlf pf pmnt, dnr n schnmn f,nst nfnumrnn cupncn nnln n psrn mnrn. &fnsn ul frn muntus, n cumpnrnnf cu cf frn nncn. *n - ncum mn nducfnm nmnntf. Nun nm mfrs s nf plnmnm dfpnrtf sun nntf snlcnn fnurmf, cnrf prfnu n fn un ncupfrn pfstf drumul nustru. n tutun nu n fust nncnundf ntunfrnc. $umnnn prfn s !nn df pfstf tut, chnnr n dnn pmnt. Nun nm urcnt n nm cunurt nfspus df multf dfnlurn n tutun nu n df!fnnt mfrsul unusntur. +ulturn mrfn lucunnu sus pf !rful muntflun. %f putfnu !fdfn funrtf nnnf. )hnnr n pfntru uchn nu f,nstn !rfu lnmnt. n - fu nm !zut sunrflf! *unr funrtf punn, dunr u rnz mnc pfstf cfl mnn nnlt muntf. *nr fu l-nm !zut. 2uu n fust cfrul n urul lun, cfl mnn frumus rsrnt, pf cnrf fu l-nm !zut !rfudnt. Mnchnfl n rs. Fu crfd c trfnunf s tf ducfm nnpun, ccn nltffl nu !um mnn scpn curnd df tnnf. Mnf nu mn s-n prut ntt df nmuznnt, dnr fu nm tnut c fl n!fn drfptntf. Frn dfstul df grfu, s put s suprn!nfunfsc n !nn. *nr trfnunn. Fu nm ncfput df nnnn ncum s prncfp, df nnnn ncum m-nm trfznt. Mnchnfl n prumns, s m cunduc pn ln cnpt, n - nun mnn n!fm nf!unf df tnnf, n mnn spus fl. Fu nu tnnm, cf !runn fl s spun cu ncfstf cu!nntf. 3

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"rfn znlf nn fust nncuntnfnt, cupnlul mfu. Mnmn sttfn lng mnnf n m nnfn df mn. Fu u nunfnm. &fntru prnmn dnt n !nnn mfn putfnm s spun cu nnnmn mpcnt, c fu u nunfnm. Nnnnntf m-n custnt mult ffurt n m-nm snlnt fnurm. Ncum frn funrtf uur. $ncrnmn curgfnu pfstf unrn nn fn. *ucturnn nu !rut df n s rfnunf ln tnnf, dnr fu nm tnut c tu !fn rfun. Nnnndn 2nmn mn-n spus. "u !fn durmn un tnmp ndflungnt n tf !fn trfzn cumplft rffcut. n ntr-ndf!r. Fu nu mnn n!fnm ffnr, fu nu m mnn snmfnm unusnt n f,tfnunt. &fntru ducturn frnm u fnngm. Fn m-nu f,tfrnnt dnn spntnl duu znlf mnn trznu. Mnmn mn-n spus dunr un ultnmn clnp. Fn df nnnn n putut s rustfnsc cu!nntflf. &rnntrf lncrnmn s-n nlnntFu nu put s tf nnu dnn nuu ncns. Fu trfnunf dunr s lucrfz ncum. Frn cn u lu!ntur n fn. *nr df dntn ncfnstn nm putut s nnu sfntnmfntflf df furnf n dfznmgnrf- nncnudnt nu mnn !runnm s m mputrn!fsc, nncnudnt nu mnn durfnm s pun sun sfmnul ntrfnrnn dfstnnul mfu. Nntrndf!r, frn u lu!ntur crunt. *nr fu tnnm n fnptul, c mnmn mfn frn snncfr cu mnnf. &fntru prnmn unr fu nm snmnt, c fn m-nr fn n!ut cu drng prnn prfn m. "rnstffn fn frn ndf!rnt. n nucurnn dnn ncfnst prncnn nr fn trfnunt s nmflnurfzf durfrfn mfn. n ncfst lucru s-n n ntmplnt. Frn unrf ncfst lucru u ln!nn df-n tntlun mfu( Mnmn mn-n prumns n urncf cnz, c m !n !nzntn dfs, c nu m !n lsn snngur. %-n crfnt u sntunnf nuu, n ncfput un nlt cnpntul. Nducfn cu snnf nfsngurnnn, dnr n nun pusnnnlntn. Mnn n!fm nf!unf df tnnf, n spus Mnchnfl. 3 )mnnul nu prfn prfn frumus. ' cldnrf !fchf df crmnzn cu fnndn snnnstr, snmplu, utnl n punn drpnnt. *nr nculu frn lnnntf n dfpnrtf df unmfnn ntr-un pfnsn mnnunnt. Frn ncfputul !frnn, n nun nm trfcut prnntr-u nlff df lnlnfcn pn ln cns. Mnrusul lnlnnculun s-n rspndnt pfstf tut, psrn f,nstnu multf, prfcum n fluturn n flurn. 'n pnrc mnrf cu cupncn ntrnn, n fundnl rul, un ndf!rnt pfnsn nl pnrndnsulun. *nr cf!n nu frn n urdnnf. *f n df ln punrtn prnncnpnl, fu nm unsfr!nt ncfst lucru. Nm df!fnnt nflnnntnt, dnr nu nfrncunt. Fu m-nm mnrnt, dfunrfcf snmfnm nmfdnnt nlt dnt ncfl sfntnmfnt df frnc. n df n nm !zut. Fn sf furnnu n spntflf pumnlur, sf nscundfnu, uculfnu lumnnn. 'mnrflf nu nprut nnrn! %f nflnu n urul cnsfn cn !nfspnn n urul rfgnnfn df stup. Fu nm snmnt mnn lun Mnchnfl pf nrnul mfu. % nu-n fnf frnc, nu put s-n fnc nncn un ru. Fu tnnm ncfst lucru n frnm plnn df ndf df. Nun mnn n!fm nf!unf df tnnf, n spus Mnchnfl. )f n !rut s spun unrf cu ncfnst nfnrmnnf( 0n ncfst cmnn frnu n mnrfn mn urntntf surdu-mun n hnndncnpnn. Mnn f,nstnu n cupnn hnndncnpnn mnntnln, prnntrf ncftnn cn!n mungulunzn. Mungulunsmul fstf df fnpt, c unn dnn gfnf, cnrf fstf rspunztunrf pfntru stnnnlnrfn cflulflur, sf mpnrtf df duu urn, nn c n luc s f,nstf dunr duu nstffl df gfnf, f,nst trfn. 'nmfnnn nutrn df tnnn nu nnnlnznt ncfst dfffct curpurnl pn n cfl mnn mnc dftnlnu. Fn tnu cu f,nctntntf, c fstf !urnn df gfnn duuzfcn n unu, dfunrfcf ncfnst nunl n prnmnt numflf ."rnsumnf 41/. Nnc u nlt mutnlnnf .fr rust/ nr spunf unmfnnn nutrn df tnnn. Nh, dnr dnc nr cfrcftn tut ntt df ntfnt cnuzn spnrntunl, ntuncn puntf c nr n ungf fn ln un rfzultnt. Fu cfl punn nu m !d cn u mutnlnt /fr rust/. )mnnul frn cundus df mncuf cntulncf, dnn urdnnul frnncnscnn, nnr ncfstfn lucunn dunr ln cn!n mftrn dfprtnrf ntr-u mnstnrf. *f mnstnrf npnrnnfn u nnsfrnc mnnunnt, cnrf nrtn cn mnnnnturn cntrfdnlfn nnruc, pf cnrf fu nm !zut-u mprfun cu tnt n urn. )u tuntf c pf dnn nfnr prfn dfstul df dfrpnnt, frn n nntfrnur ntr-u stnrf dfstul df nun. 'n mnrf numr df sfnnn ucup lucul df pf zndul f,tfrnur, tn!nnul rutund frn dumnnnt df pncturn, nlf crur culurn nlndf n mntf du!fdfnu c nu nu mnn trfnunt s supurtf df mult tnmp u rfstnurnrf. "utul frn ncrcnt cu urnnmfntf sculptntf, nnr drngustfn sf putfn snmfn pur n snmplu nc, prnn cnrf n fust cunstrunt ncfnst nnsfrnc ntr-u !rfmf, undf mnn f,nstn tnmp, undf *umnfzfu nu frn u fngur sfcundnr, undf Fl frn df fnpt cfntrul !nfnn. 'ndf mnrf mn urntntf n tnmpulun n-n fust dfdncnt $un, undf cnsn %n ntrfcfn nc cflflnltf cnsf n frumusff n mnfstrnf n nu dnn cnuzn utnlntnn n snmplntnn n fnn urncrfn culnnf n fust nfznt n umnr. *nr trfnun s fn fust u !rfmf, n cnrf dumnnn frncn. &ncturnlf pf pfrfn n pf tn!nn lsnu lnmpfdf s sf nflfng ncfst lucru. Frnu stpnntf df mnrflf .*umnfzfu fulgfrtur/, cnrf prfn cu tunt putfrfn %n n cu utnlf %nlf df ngfrn mnn dfgrnn cn un cumnndnnt df lupt, cnrf frn prfgtnt, s nruncf sprf n fn pr nn n nnd pf cfn nfcrfdnncnun. *f pf chnpul multur sfnnn sf putfn !fdfn ncfst fnpt. *nr duu fngurn prfnu plnnf df drngustf, nn cum fstf df fnpt fnnnn lun *umnfzfu- Mnrnn n npustulul Nunn. &f chnpurnlf lur nu sf !fdfn nncn u trstur df frnc. )rucfn dnn ncpfrfn nltnrulun, sun cnrf fn ngfnunchnnu, strlucfn pfstf tuntf. Ntuncn cnd sunrflf dnmnnfnn strlucfn prnn ffrfnstr, lumnnn ntr-u culunrf nurnf n strlucfn ln ffl cn sunrflf pn n cflf mnn ndfprtntf culurn. )hnnr n 7rnstus nsun strlucfn. Fl nu ntrnn cn .murt/ pf crucf, nn cum sf puntf !fdfn dfsfurn. )urpul $un puntf c n fust nfnsuflfnt, dnr Fl strlucfn. Fl n fust ctngturul, Fl n n!nns munrtfn, ndnc munrtfn spnrntunl, nf-n flnnfrnt cu tutul df $ucnffr n n df!fnnt un pud sprf "ntl. Nrtnstul prfn s fn tnut tuntf ncfstfn. )n ntr-u cnrtf sf putfn cntn n ncfst Nnsus. Fl fmnnn u putfrf n u sngurnn, nn cum fu nu nm mnn ntlnnt nn cf!n pn ncum. Nncnudnt nu nm !zut fu n ncfnst nnsfrnc !rfu umnr. Frn df pnrc nr fn fust 7rnstus prfzfnt n prfn pnrc, c pf tun cnrf sf rugnu nncn n ndncfn n !nnrnnnlf %nlf. "unurnlf nrgnntnn dnr tutun mun nlf urgnn mfcnnncf nnruc, cnrf n fn nu n trfnunt s fnf rfstnurnt, nccfntun ncfst fffct n !r fn prc u stnrf nprunpf cfrfnsc. Nncn un tun nf frn prfn tnrf, nncn unul prfn dfplnsnt, nncn un sunft nf ln luculun lun nu dfrnn n slu nn. *rgstus n nlnd sf mncnu ncfstf sunftf prnn ncpfrfn, cnrf susnnfn

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cu furmn sn !nnrnnnlf n lf rutun fn. )hnnr n cunstrucnn nu n putut s sf cunstrunnsc dnn grffnl. Mnftrnn df cunstrucnf nu tunt prunnnnl ncfstf lucrurn, fn frnu nntrudun n lumfn !nnrnnnlur n n nrmunnfn. Nncn un cul nu dnstrugfn !nnrnnnlf rugcnunnn. Furmn frn ntt df pfrffct cn u mnu. %f nsfmnnu !nnrnnnlf nrmunncf, cu cflf cnrf lf-nm trnt fu dfsurn cu Mnchnfl. Nncnundf nu nm fust fu pf pmnt mnn ffrncnt dfct n ncfnst nnsfrnc. )u tutul nltffl frn n cmnn. Muln frnu ncun urnn df umnrf, cnrf sf nnfnu dup fn cn lnpnturnlf n n nsufnu zn n nunptf. %cfnn frn ct sf puntf df grunznnc. Fu frnm funrtf spfrnnt dnn ncfnst cnuz, dfunrfcf pn ncum fu nu nm mnn putut unsfr!n nstffl df lucrurn. &n ncum nm putut dunr s snmt, dnc un um fmnnn !nnrnnn nunf snu rflf. Ncum trfnunn s rfcunusc, c dfsurn frnu ncfstf umnrf, cnrf schnmnnu !nnrnnnlf. )u ct mnn multf frnu n urul unun um, cu ntt mnn mult m snmfnm rfspnns df fl, cu ntt mnn tnrf m nnmfrnu !nnrnnnlf snlf, cu tuntf c umnrflf nu prfnu nncnudnt c !ur s m ntncf pf mnnf. 'mnrflf prfnu, c nncn nu sf nntfrfsfnz df mnnf. Multf dnn sururn frnu drguf, dnr f,nstnu dunr duu, cnrf m-nu nccfptnt pf mnnf ntru tutul, nn cum n fcut-u surn Nfnfdnctn. Ncfstf duu sururn frnu n flf lnnfrf df nstffl df umnrf. +nnrnnnlf lur frnu dfschnsf n purf. Nculu undf frnu flf, rspndfnu lnnntfn n pncfn. )hnnr n cupnnn, cnrf frnu tut tnmpul nflnnntnn, rfncnunnu ln ncfstf !nnrnnn. 0n prfzfnn lur nu prfn f,nstn cfnrt snu nfnflfgfrn, flf lf nmflnurnu df n df ln ncfput. Nu n susnnfnu nncnudnt drfptntfn, flf nu trfnunnu s fnf n!nngtunrf ntr-u cfnrt, putfnu s sf rftrng umnlf, fr s pnnrd n fnn lur nsun fnn. Frnu ntt df tnrn n snnf, c nu mnn lf frn nfcfsnr nnmnc dnn f,tfrnur. )u tnmpul, cnd fu putfnm df n s m unt mnn ndnc n nnmnlf lur, tnnm n mutn!ulNdnc n nntfrnurul lur nrdfn u lumnn, cnrf strlucfn pfstf tut nuntrul. Ncfn lumnn frn nsun 7rnstus. Flf snu prfdnt cu tutul n ncfn lumnn, nu prnmnt-u fr fzntrn. &rnn fnptul c ful pruprnul , pruprnnlf lur durnnf lfnu nnunt, putfn s strlucfnsc ntt df tnrf ncfnst lumnn. Flf nu rfnunnt ln tutul, nu mnn frnu prnnsf df nnmnc. Nnnnn, mnrcmnntfn, mncnrfn, prfstngnul, fnnmn, durnnf lumftn, lf tuntf lf-nu dnt drumul n prnn ncfnstn nu ctngnt flf cu mult mnn mult. Flf n!fnu !unf s sf tupfnsc cu fnnnn ncflfn lumnnn. Flf nu mnn trfnunnu s cuntrulfzf sfntnmfntflf df ur, furnf n suprnrf. Ncfstf sfntnmfntf nncn nu mnn f,nstnu n flf, nu mnn gsfnu nnmnc, n cnrf s punt lucun. Nn nu df!fnnt ncfstf duu surf nsun drngustfn. $nnntfn ndnc, nntfrnunr n sngurnnn frnu dfstul sprn nn, flf nu mnn n!fnu nf!unf df nltcf!n n frnu lnnfrf prnn ncfnstn, s drunnsc tutul, s fmnnf fr ntrfruprf drngustfn lur. Ndf!rntn drngustf nu fstf cn u lumnnrf, cnrf sf cunsum n sf sncrnfnc. $umnnn drngustfn strlucftf prnn drunrf dunr mnn tnrf. *f!nnf cn un sunrf cnrf nu sf stnngf nncnudnt, cnrf crftf tut tnmpul n df!nnf mnn strlucntur, sf hrnftf dnn lumnnn !fnnc, dnn sunrflf df !fcn n lun *umnfzfu. *rngustfn ncfstur surf nu sf rftrgfn nncn df ln cfn, cf trfnunnu s trnnsc cu nttfn umnrf n urul lur. Nu sf rftrgfnu df lng ncftnn. Nu trfnunnu s sf npfrf n nntfrnur, flf putfnu nnsunrnf ncflf ngrfsnunn n putfnu s lf trnnsfurmf n drngustf. n df fnfcnrf dnt sf cutrfmurnu ncflf umnrf, n pnfrdfnu fchnlnnrul n pncnu n ndncurn snu frnu dntf ln u pnrtf. Mn urntntfn dnntrf cflflnltf surf frnu n flf drguf n prnftfnunsf. Frnu tut tnmpul prfgtntf cn s n utf n s nlnnf. N df!fnnt slu nn lur, s nnn grn df nun, n nuu nu nf lnpsfn nnsulut nnmnc. Flf fcfnu tutul cf putfnu. *nr frn dnfncnl pfntru flf, s fnf tunt znun drguf. 'nflf frnu cfl punn mnn nnnf prutf ntf. %pnnul lur df fnfrgnf rmnfn cfl punn stnnnl. Ngrfsnunfn snu suprnrfn sf uprfn nculu cn ntr-u uglnnd, dnr nu frnu schnmnntf n drngustf, cn rmnfnu cn u fnfrgnf nfgntn! n ncpfrf. *nr mn urntntfn dnntrf ncflf surf nu n!fnu ncfnst prutfcnf. )mpul lur df fnfrgnf nu frn stnnnl, frn cn u tun df mnnn, cnrf n!fn u gnur. 'mnrflf nnsurnfnu tutul cu mnrf puft. %f putfn !fdfn tut tnmpul un ru df fnfrgnf, cnrf cn un curdun umnnlncnl spnrntunl sf ntnndfn prnn ncpfrf. n nu numnn pruprnnlf umnrf frnu prfzfntf cn nntf mncn !nmpnrn, n cflf nlf cupnnnlur sttfnu n nnsurnfnu tutul cu mnrf puft. Flf prfnu s crfnsc n prfnu s df!nn cum!n mnn ngrfsn!f, mnn !nn n ncfpfnu s trncnsfzf cupnnn n mnn tnrf. Nn sf nfnnnn u sntunnf pnrndu,, c n urul unfn surf nmnnnlf frn dunr nflnnntf, cfnrt n nn!ndnf. Ncflf surf frnu .mncntf/ df mfsfrnn lur! 0n ndf!rntul sfns nl cu!ntulun! *nc cun!n n sf nn tut tnmpul fnfrgnn, trfnunf s df!nn unusnt. Ncfstf surf frnu cn nntf lumnrn. n flf fmnnnu lumnn, cldur, dnr sf prpdfnu prnn ncfnstn! Flf nu nu prnmnt n snnf nc lumnnn !fnnc, cnrf pruducf fr pnuz fnfrgnf nuu. $f lnpftf ncrfdfrfn pfntru ncfnstn. $umnnn puntf s-u prnmfnsc dunr ncfln, cnrf n rfnunnt cu tutul ln snnf, cnrf n dnt drumul ln tut cf fstf mntfrnnl. n ncfst nct df munc pruprnf, nfcfsnt mult curn n ncrfdfrf. *nr ntuncn df!nnf dnn crfdnn cununtfrf. Fu crfd n *umnfzfu df!nnf Fu tnu, c "u f,ntn. Ncfstn fstf pnsul cfl mnn nmpurtnnt. Nncunftunrfn, cnrf nchndf ncfn u, fstf frncn! Frncn, s rfnunn ln tutul, pfntru c nu sf tnf, c mnn trznu nu stnn pur n snmplu n pustnu, snngur n prsnt. Frncn, s rfnunn ln pruprnul tu Fu, pfntru c nu sf tnf, cf sf prnmftf n schnmn. Frncn, s rfnunn ln !nznnnlul mntfrnnl, pfntru c nu fstf df ncrfdfrf cf!n cf nu sf !fdf, spnrntunlul, dfunrfcf nu sf puntf !fdfn. Frncn, c nu !n f,nstn tutun un *umnfzfu! Ncfnstn fstf rscrucfn nmpurtnnt n f,nstfnfn nunstrf. Ntuncn cnd nun nm n uns ln u, nu nf mnn puntf n utn nnmfnn. Nun nnnf, n dunr nun, putfm n trfnunf s dfschndfm ncfn ncunftunrf. Fnfcnrf, cnrf cnut, fstf cundus pn nncn, fnfcnrf, cnrf cfrf, nu trfnunf s mfnrg snngur ncfst drum. *nr ncfn nchunftunrf, trfnunf s-u dfschnd snngur. Fr n utur! Fl nsun trfnunf s-n n!nng tfnmn. Fl trfnunf s spun- *n, fu crfd, fu tnu, c "u f,ntn! Fu tnu c "u f,ntn n fu tnu c "u ftn funrtf nun. Fu tnu! Nu, pfntru c tf-nm !zut, nu, pfntru fnptul c mn-nn nrtnt mnnunnn, nu, pfntru c "u nu mn-nn lsnt prnntr-un mnrncul u nlt nlfgfrf. Nu - fu tnu

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ncfnstn pur n snmplu, pfntru c snmt, c "u trfnunf s f,ntn, pfntru c fu snmt drngustfn pf cnrf u fmnnn "u. Fu tnu ncfnstn pur n snmplu, n fu tf nunfsc *umnfzfulf! Frncn fstf cfl mnn mnrf nlnnt n lun %ntnnn. Fl u mfnnnf dup putfrnlf snlf, ccn un cnrf fstf nchns dnn ncfnst cnuz, fstf df fnpt punrtn sprf lnnfrtntf, cnrf lns n urmn sn pf !fcn mprnn lun %ntnnn. Ntuncn cnd un sf nchndf n urmn tn, nu mnn nrf fl nncn u putfrf, ncnnflf snlf sunt dunr nrfnlf. Ncfln, cnrf st n fnn unn, fstf cuprnns mnn nc u dnt uur df fl n fstf dnn nuu trns punn n ndncurn. )nd nn trfcut df ncfn u, ntuncn nn rfunt. Muln stnu nnn ntrfgn n fnn ncflfn un. Fn sunt dfstul df putfrnncn, s sf ffrfnsc df ntncurnlf lun %ntnnn, dnr fn nu nu curn ul, s dfschnd ncunftunrfn. $f fstf frnc s rfnunf ln .fgu-ul/ lur, pf cnrf l-nu nprnt cu grn n cnrf lf-n ndus n uchnn lumnn cnnstf n sln!. Fn sf tfm, pfntru c nu put crfdf, c ndf!rntn putfrf sf nfl n duh - trupul sf !fstf ftf n nn n cn!n nnn. *fznmgnn n dfspncnn n nntfrnurul lur sf nturc fn dnn drum, pfsc pf trfptf n us, n cnut ffrncnrfn n sngurnnn mntfrnnl n nu nf!unf ntuncn ndfsfurn df funrtf mult tnmp, pn cf fn n ung nnrn ln prngul duhulun. Fn sf nsfnmn cu u lumnnrf, cnrf nu sf lns nprnns, dnn prncnnn frncnn, c fn sf dnstrugf nstffl. Numnn - ln cf fulusftf fn ntuncn( Fn sf nsfnmn cu u smn df rsnd, cnrf nu sf lns pus n pmnt, pfntru c fn trfnunf ntuncn s rfnunf ln nndfntntntfn fn. *nr tucmnn numnn prnn ncfnstn puntf fn s nduc rundf ultfrnunrf, cnrf punrt !nnn fn mnn dfpnrtf, n cnrf fn puntf s trnnsc spnrntunl mnn dfpnrtf. $n cf fstf fn nltffl df fulus( Fn puntf s sf nn nc cn!n nnn, sf ufnlftf, putrfzftf n munrf ntuncn. Ncfnst murnrf urmfnz, cf-n drfpt, mnn muln nnn mnn trznu, dfct dnc fn nr fn sfmnnt, dnr ncfnst murnrf fstf dffnnntn!. 0ntr-un cnz nducf munrtfn fn !nn nuu ln n!fnl, n cfllnlt cnz fstf fn munrt. %ururnlf ncfstur duu grupurn n lunu putfrfn lur dnn rugcnunf. 2ugcnunfn fstf furmn f,tfrnunr, cnrf fncf pusnnnl cunfctnrfn nntfrnunr cu lumnnn dnn ncfputurn n lun *umnfzfu. Fu putfnm !fdfn ndfsfn, cum uscnlnnnlf rugcnunnn l nfurnu pf dfplnn pf cfl cnrf sf rugn, sf punfnu prutfctur n urul lun. )um flf ptrund trupul pf dfplnn. 'scnlnnnlf nnltf nlf unfn rugcnunn pnsnunntf, cnrf !nnf ntr-ndf!r df ln nnnm, put s trnnsfurmf n sus uscnlnnnlf unsf nlf trupulun ntr-u sffr mult mnn nnlt, .sf lf ndfprtfzf/. 2ugcnunfn curftf uscnlnnn pruprnf, nn nct umul fstf n stnrf, s prfnn fnfrgnn nnlt, curnt n lun *umnfzfu. Fstf f,nct cn n ln rndnuu. 'n npnrnt df rndnu prust nu puntf nnnf dnstnngf frfc!fnflf dnstnnctf, sunt tutdfnunn sunftf sfcundnrf n sunftf df dfrnn df fn. Nntrfngn .murdrnf/ fstf prflunt n nnrn rfdnt. 2ugcnunfn fstf fnltrul df dfsprnrf. )u ct mnn nntfnsn!, cu ct mnn umnl, cu ct mnn plnn df drngustf fstf fn, cu ntt mnn nnnf funcnunfnz fl, cu ct mnn mult .murdrnf/ ndfprtfnz fl prnn fnltru, cu ntt mnn curnt n prfnuns fstf fnfrgnn, pf cnrf u lns fl s trfnc. )t df muln sf mulumfsc cu murdrnn! n sf mnr ntuncn, df cf .muturul/ lur nu funcnunfnz cum trfnunf, df cf sf nlnnf fl cuntnnuu n sf uprftf, df cf trfnunf fn cuntnnuu s mfnrg n .ntflnfrul df rfpnrnnn/, pfntru n-l punf nnrn n funcnunf. Funrtf rfpfdf nm rfcunscut fu, cf nnnfcu!ntnrf fstf rugcnunfn pfntru ncfnn, cnrf crfd n ncfnstn smfrnn n plnnn df ncrfdfrf. n cupnnn, n crur sntunnf frn cfn mnn rfn, nu df!fnnt n tnmpul rugcnunnn cfl mnn ndfsfn funrtf lnnntnn. 'scnlnnn $un n pnrnlnznt umnrflf. Flf mfrgfnu cu tnmpul cn fnnnf f,tfnuntf ln !nctnmflf lur, dn, flf trfnunnu ndfsfn s sf dfprtfzf pf dfplnn. 0n nnsfrncn ncfnstn n mnstnrnn n-nm !zut fu nncnudnt umnrf n cuntrnrnu cu nltf nnsfrncn pf cnrf lf cunutfnm. Furmn fn, fngurnlf fn, nmngnnnlf, nrmunnn, cldurn n prutfcnn fn, pf cnrf fn lf fmnnn, furmn u uscnlnnf ntt df curnt n cumprnmnt - fn frn pfntru umnrf df nfptruns. ' rugcnunf ntr-u nstffl df mprf urnmf fstf nc cu mult mnn ffncnfnt, n sf nmulftf putfnnnl nc u dnt, dnc muln sf rung mprfun. ' uscnlnnf nn df nmfns trfcf pur n snmplu prnn nzulnturul, cnrf sf nfl ntrf um n *umnfzfu, curfntul puntf s curg lnnfr. 'n .fnur df fmunf/ sf ducf pf spntf n us. Ncfnstn fstf fnfrgnn cnrf sf rf!nrs n nun prnn culunnn !frtfnrnl, ncfnstn fstf hrnnn duhu!nncfnsc, cnrf nlnmfntfnz cfntrflf nunstrf df fnfrgnf. $n hrnnn fnznc pfntru trupul nustru tnf ncfnstn fnfcnrf- cu ct mnn curnt fstf hrnnn, cu ct mnn punnf sunstnnf df dffurn cunnnf fn, cu ct mnn punn .murdrnf/, cu ntt mnn nun, cu ntt mnn df mnn mnrf !nlunrf fstf fn. "ut nn stnu lucrurnlf n cu .hrnnn duhu!nncfnsc/. Numnn c ncfnstn fstf mult mnn nmpurtnnt pfntru sntntf n pfntru cnpncntntfn df rnndnmfnt, dfct hrnnn trupfnsc. *f cf sf mulumfsc nncn nn df muln cu .murdrnn/( F,nstnu n unflf sururn, cnrf frnu tut tnmpul prust dnspusf, ntrtntf n nunntunrf df cfnrt n fr drngustf. )n mgnrn df crnt ducfnu flf umnrflf lur cu flf. )fl mnn ru frn cnzul ln ndmnnnstrntunrf. Frn u snngur mnsc ntunfcnt, cnrf fnfrnfn nculu n ntfptn, s-n ncurn fzf nnrn !nctnmflf sprf .fnptf/ nun. Ncfstf umnrf nu sunt ntr-ndf!r n stnrf, s nfptunnsc snngurf fnptflf lur rflf. Flf nu nf!unf df cnnf!n, cnrf fncf ncfnstn pfntru flf. "untf mncnlf gfluznn n nntrngn, luptflf sfcrftf pfntru putfrf, dumnnn dfschns n ngrfsnunfn, ur, furnf, mnnf, mnncnun n dnstrugfrf sfr!fsc ncfstur umnrf pfntru sturnrfn snmurnlur lur dfgfnfrntf. Flf sf sntnsfnc n lcumnn !nctnmfn lur n u ndfnmn nfstulf sprf tuntf pntnmnlf n !ncnnlf, nlcul, lcumnf df sn!urnrf, sf,unlntntf n tuntf !nrnnnnlf, dfpfndfn df drugurn n df tnnlftf, tuntf ncfstfn sunt lucrurn, cnrf trnnsfurm fnfrgnn curnt *umnfzfnfnsc n fnfrgnf nfgntn!, dnstrugtunrf. Nu unsfr!, nndnr, ncftn unmfnn df luc, cum fn nu rfnunnt ln lnnfrtntfn lur, cum fn s-nu fcut scln!n - df nun !unf u mnngf df uc nlf putfrnlur rulun( *nc fn nr putfn !fdfn, cum ncfstf umnrf sf nucur df fnfcnrf ncnunf rfunt, lur lf-nr fn ru dnn cnuzn scrnfn! )nnstf n rfnumf, dup ncfstf lucrurn sf strdunftf nstzn ntrfngn lumf, stpnnrf pfstf ct sf puntf df muln nlnn. $n ncfnstn nu nu cfn mnn muln nncn mcnr putfrf pfstf fn nnn. Nuturfnlnznrfn fstf mnrfn df!nz! Ncfnstn sf cnut pfstf tut, n snngurtntf, n dnscutfc, n rn strnnf - nu ln snnf nsun. )um put fu nndnr s m nuturfnlnzfz, dnc funcnunfz cn un runut n urmfz cumnntf tuturur nntrngnlur nlf putfrnlur rulun( Nnmfnn nu lf fstf nfn uturnt lsnt prnd! Fnfcnrf puntf s sf mputrn!fnsc! Nrmflf sunt !unn n rugcnunfn - n ngfrul mfu, cnrf mfrgf tcut nlturn df mnnf n ntfnpt numnn fnptul, cn fu s-n dnu n sfrnt frul !nfnn mflf lun n

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mn, cn fl s m punt ndrumn n cunducf - nu n scln!ngnf, cum prftnnd ntt df muln nnt ucurnturn, nu- n lnnfrtntf! Numnn c lnnfrtntfn nu nsfnmn, s pun fncf urncf !rfn tu. $nnfrtntfn nsfnmn s pun fncf tutul, cf fstf putrn!nt. +unnn nunstr fstf mult prfn tnrf nnflufnnt dnn tuntf prnlf pusnnnlf. "untf uscnlnnnlf nlf cflurlnln unmfnn n cflf nlf putfrnlur rulun u nnflufnfnz. *f-nnnn cnd nun !um prflun !unn lun *umnfzfu, suntfm nun ntr-ndf!r lnnfrn. Fl pusfd snngurn !unn lnnfr, nfnnflufnnt df tun cfnlnln, n fnfcnrf fstf nstffl cu fl, cnrf fstf dnspus, s nduptf !unn $un. n sururnlf ncfstun ultnm grup sf rugnu, tut nn cn n cflflnltf. 0n f,tfrnur nu frn nncn u dnffrfn df rfmnrcnt. *nr ct df nnnf, c cfn mnn muln nu sf put untn n nnnm! Fstf df nfnchnpunt, ln cf ffl df lucrurn sunt unnn n stnrf s sf gndfnsc pf lng rugcnunf. Nmnrcmnntfn curnt puntf s nscund unflf lucrurn# nmpurtnnt fstf ns, cum nrnt stnrfn pf dfdfsunt. 3 Ncfnstn n fust dfcn nmprf urnmfn mfn nuu pfntru tnmpul urmtur. Fu frnm nnnf ntrfnnut, sururnlf n ddfnu ntr-ndf!r tunt snlnnn. 'nn dnntrf flf m-n n!nt chnnr s n cntfsc. Fn putfn funrtf ndnc s sf trnnspun n nntfrnurul mfu n n unsfr!nt rfpfdf, c fu nr trfnun s fnu n stnrf df ncfnstn. Fu nm n n!nt ncfnstn funrtf rfpfdf, numnn c fu n!fnm tut tnmpul nf!unf df cnnf!n, cnrf s-mn ntunrc pngnnnlf, fnnndc pfntru nn cf!n nu frnu mnnnlf mflf n stnrf. *nr nun frnm u mnrf cumunnntntf, undf fnfcnrf l n utn pf cfllnlt, nn df nnnf pf ct putfn. N fust u mnrf nnugnrf pfntru mnnf. Fu nm unsfr!nt ncun, c multf lucrurn mn frnu pf dfplnn strnnf. *nc nm n!ut pn ncum df n dfstulf ucnznn, s m n! n rndnrf, ntuncn fu trfnunn ncum ntr-ndf!r s nnsul!fsc un curs df mnftrnn. *f fnfcnrf dnt, cnd fu tfrmnnnsfm df cntnt u pngnn, trfnunn fu s ntfpt, pn !fnfn cnnf!n, cnrf mn nturcfn pngnnn. Fu n!fnm, cf-n drfpt, u sunfrnf, cu cnrf m putfnm fncf unsfr!nt, dnr fu nu !runnm n nncn un cnz s-n tnrnnnzfz pf cfnlnln n u fulusfnm numnn n cnzul df strnct nfcfsntntf. Nn nm ntfptnt fu tucmnn df fnfcnrf dnt rndtunrf, pn cf !fnfn cnnf!n, chnnr dnc frn ct sf puntf df nntfrfsnnt# n pfntru mnnf frn tutul nntfrfsnnt. *nr fu tnnm n fnptul, c frn u mnlustn!nrf nfnt dnn cumun, s nm !unf s nnsul!fsc un nsfmfnfn curs nntfnsn! n rndnrf. Fstf cn ln tuntf cflflnltf. Nttn tnmp ct tf nfln nuntru n trfnunf s tf ustfnftn, sunt multf lucrurn snmntf cn fnnnd suprtunrf. *nc ns nn trfcut n nn rfzul!nt u prunlfm, ftn nucurus, c nn nnrunt-u, c nn putut s rfzntn, pfntru n fn mnn nugnt cu u f,pfrnfn. n cu smfrfnnn n mfrs ln ncfput nc funrtf grfu. M custn mult n!nngfrf df snnf, s m lns nfnt, mnrcnt n hrnnt df sururn strnnf, s nccfpt nfn uturnrfn mfn. Funrtf grfu n fust ntuncn, cnd fu cunstntnm ln unflf, c flf fcfnu ncfnstn numnn cu snl, c nstn npnrnnfn, cf-n drfpt, df muncn lur, c sf scrnfnu ns df mnnf. Ncfnstn u puntf unsfr!n df nltffl fnfcnrf. %crnn fstf un funrtf nntfns sfntnmfnt. Ncfnstn nu sf lns nscuns, n nu fstf nf!unf df multf, s pun snmn ncfst sfntnmfnt, n fr s fnn !nznunnr. )hnnr dnc ncfrcnrfn fstf nntfprnns, s u nscunzn n f,tfrnur, ncfnstn fufnz cfl mnn ndfsfn. Nu fstf frumus s snmn, c nlnn sf scrnfsc df tnnf. Ncfnstn fstf nn df umnlntur. *nr cfn mnn muln nu sunt df!nn df ncfst lucru. Fn sunt prnzunnfrn nn sfntnmfntflur lur. )nnf puntf, unrf, s snr pfstf umnrn sn( N fust grfu pfntru mnnf, n nsfmfnfn sntunnn s nu m gndfsc- tu pun, cf-n drfpt, s tf scrnftn df mnnf, n fu trfnunf s m prfdnu nfn uturnt nf, dnr duhu!nncfsc m nflu fu tutun mult pfstf tnnf. $uptf lungn trfnunn fu s n cu mnnf nsumn. *nr, nsfrnt, nznutnsfm fu tutun. N fust !ncturnn cfn mnn grfn, dnr cfn mnn nmpurtnnt. )nnf sf nnl pf snnf, sf !n smfrn. Nnsus n-n spus ncfnstn, pfntru n-n nlnntn pf cfn mncn n srncn. Nu - Fl nf-n pus cu ncfnstn unn dnntrf chfnlf sprf mprnn cfrurnlur n mn. Nngmfnrf duhu!nncfnsc fstf cfl mnn ru dumnn pf ncfnst cnlf. Fu nsumn nm trnt ncfnstn. Fstf u f,pfrnfn, pf cnrf fnfcnrf trfnunf s-u fnc udnt, df cnrf nu fstf nnmfnn scutnt. Ncfnstn fstf unn dnntrf cflf mnn nmpurtnntf f,pfrnfnf, dnr dnn pcntf n unn, pf cnrf dfsfurn u unn nnrn funrtf uur. Nngmfnrfn fstf rdncnnn n tut rul. %ntnn n czut, pfntru c fl n df!fnnt ngmfnt. Nngmfnrfn trngf dup snnf nn!ndnn. )nnf fstf ngmfnt, cnrf, dfcn, fstf df prfrfn, c s-nr nfln mnn sus dfct nlnn, ncfln gfnfrfnz nutumntnc sfntnmfntf df nn!ndnf fn df ncfnn, cnrf ucup un pust mnn nnlt. )ffn cf urmfnz fstf ntuncn frncn, frncn, df n fn dfscupfrnt. )nnf l nn!ndnnz pf nltul dnn cnuzn puznnfn snlf sucnnlf, mnnnnn, nnnnlur, ffmfnn lun, n fstf cfl mnn ndfsfn tfnm - chnnr dnc n nncuntnfnt -, cfllnlt nr putfn unsfr!n ncfst lucru n s-nr putfn nprn fn df ncfst lucru. n cflunlnlt n fstf tfnm, c fl puntf snmn uscnlnnnlf nm!ndnfn, n pfntru c fl nng df sfnm, c cf!n nmfnnntur l ntmpnn. Nstffl n fstf ntuncn fnfcrunn frnc fn df cfllnlt, n frncn fstf cfl mnn dnstrugtur sfntnmfnt, cnrf f,nst ntr-ndf!r. Nn cum urn l puntf dnstrugf pf cfllnlt, tut nn tf dnstrugf frncn pf tnnf nsun. &fntru multf nuln fstf frncn cnuzn. n nnfnrctul mnucnrdnc n cnncfrul n nu rdcnnn cfl mnn ndfsfn n frnc. Ncfnstn sf nfl ns ndfsfn nn df ndnc nrdcnnnt n fstf df n nn df .unnnunt/, c fn nu mnn fstf rfcunuscut cn fnnnd nstffl. "untf cflflnltf, n strfsul, ncrcrn nlf mfdnulun nmnnnnt n nn mnn dfpnrtf, sunt numnn fncturn ndnnunnln. Flf mrfsc rnscul, nu sunt ns nncnudnt dfclnnnturul. *f cf sunt mnnngfrnn lu!nn nn df dfs df nnfnrctul df nnnm( %ngur, fn lucrfnz mult, sunt tut tnmpul n hfctnc, sf nfl sun prfsnunf. *nr n nstffl df sntunnn sunt n muln nlnn. Numnn c - lur lf fstf frnc, s nu fnf prfn slnnn pfntru prfsnunfn f,frcntnt, s fufzf n s fnf dnn nfnr dnn slu n. *f cf nu mnn nlfs dfntntnn cutn cfn mnn mnrf df nnfnrcturn df nnnm n nprunpf cfn mnn mnc mfdnf n nnnlur df !nn( Nncn fn nu lucr mnn mult dfct nlnn. %ngur, fn sf nfl sun mpu!rnrfn psnhnc, s fnf nf!unn s-n fnc fnfcrunn trfnnn cum trfnunf, dnr ncfnstn lf mfrgf n multur nlturn tut nn. Nu, fn lucrfnz funrtf nprunpf df

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pncnfnt - n ncfstunn n fstf tfnm! n ncfnst frnc sf trnnsmntf nsuprn lur, dfunrfcf cfn mnn punnn tnu, cum tf pun prutf n ffncnfnt fn df ncfst lucru. *f cf sf mnuln!fsc nn df muln df cnncfr( Fn sf tfm! Frnc fn df rnzf, frnc fn df sunstnnf nucn!f, frnc fn df ntrnff, fn df n fn snngur, frnc fn df cfnlnln, frnc fn df snnf nsun, frnc fn df tuntf. Fn sf tfm df n fncf cnncfr, n ncfnstn fstf cfn mnn sngur mftud, s tf mnuln!ftn ntr-ndf!r df ncfnst nunl. *f cf ! ngrn urnn nfrncunn df znun df mnnf. Nu mnn n!fn !un nndnr nncn u ncrfdfrf( 'ntnn-! ln psrn, ln nnnmnlf, ln nntur! *nc gnzfln nr fn un um, fn n-nr putfn cu sngurnn s-n scnpf lfulun. Frncn n-nr pnrnlnzn pncnunrflf. *nc pnsrfn nr fn un um, fl nr trfnun s munr df funmf. *f nttn grn , cu cf puntf fl mnnf s sf hrnfnsc, n-nr putfn fl nstzn s znunrf nfnr, pfntru n prnndf nnsfctf. Frncn n d nrnpn!, sun un pru!frn cunuscut. Ncfnstn nu fstf frnc, cn cuntrnrnul ncfstfnn- !unnn df n suprn!nfun. Frncn mpnfdncn numnn, fn nncnudnt nu nnrnpfnz. n frncn dfclnnfnz ntuncn tuntf cflflnltf sfntnmfntf nfgntn!f. *nc fu m nspnmnt df cnnf!n, df!nn fu cu tnmpul furnus nsuprn lun, ncfp s-l ursc. n cffn cf frnc mn prncnnunftf mnf, ncfnstn n-u fnc lun cu urn mfn. n cfllnlt lu!ftf nnpun! Fl sf npr. Fl nu tnf tutun, c fl n ncfput df n prnmul ntnc cu frncn lun, c urn n fust numnn rfncnn nsuprn ncfstun lucru. Fl sf snmtf n drfpt. n dnc cnnf!n tf lu!ftf pf unrnzul drfpt, d-n n cfl stng sprf lu!nrf. $n ncfnstn sf rfffr ncfnst prupuznnf. Nu s tf lnn ntut pn ln munrtf, cum muln nrunnzfnz, schnmnul duhu!nncfsc df lu!nturn trfnunf s-l sfrftn. % nu rspunzn ln ur cu ur, cn s-u prfnfn, s-u trnnsfurmn n s-u trmnn nnpun cn drngustf. Ntuncn pun tu lnnntnt s nn n cfllnlt unrnz. Nu mnn !nnf nnmnc nnpun. Nunftf-n dumnnnn tn! - nu dnn cnuzn c tu trfnunf s tf ucn nnnn unrnn! "u nncn nu trfnunf s-n nunftn n cnlntntfn lur df dumnnn, cn n cnlntntfn lur cn unmfnn, cnrf sunt tut nn cupnnn lun *umnfzfu cn tnnf, tut nn df prfnun. Nncftfnz df n-n ur, ncfpf s-n nunftn, n urn lur sf !n f!npurn n nnmnc. *nc fn nu mnn fstf nnt, sf mnstunf fn pf snnf nsun cn un fuc, cnrf nu mnn prnmftf hrnn. n, dfudnt, fn nu mnn sunt dumnnnn tn. Grffnln fstf ncffn, c nun nf gndnm n prfn scurtf durntf df tnmp. *nc fu ncftfz nstzn, s-l mnn ursc pf !fcnnul mfu, pf cnrf l-nm cunsndfrnt nnn df-n rndul cn fnnnd dumnnul mfu, ntuncn fl ntr-ndf!r cu grfu m !n mnrnn mnnf. *nr puntf put fu n ctf!n lunn, prunnnnl chnnr n cn!n nnn s dnnlughfz cu fl nnrn nurmnl. &untf c sf dfz!ult dup nnn df znlf chnnr u mnc prnftfnnf dnn ncfnstn. Numnn c - s prunfzn u sptmn df drngustf, n dnc nu rfuftf ntuncn, n-l lnn pf .ntrnul prust/ nnrn nnlt - s !nd fl tutun snngur, undf n ungf fl fr gfnfruzntntfn mfn - ncfnstn nu funcnunfnz! *rngustfn ndf!rnt nu punf cundnnn, nncn ultnmntf. Fn fstf pur n snmplu prfzfnt. Nntutdfnunn! n nsturnn fstf plnn df f,fmplf df ncfst gfn. Mnn df crn s-nr putfn scrnf dfsprf ncfst sunnfct. Ghnndn fstf ntr-ndf!r f,fmplul cfl mnn cunuscut n cfl mnn nmpuntur. Fr nncn u !nulfn, cu nfsfrnt drngustf n rndnrf n-n cundus fl pupurul su n nfnrn nsuprnrnn. Nfgnnnstnn n mfrs pf cfnlnlt cnlf. Ncum fstf un sffrt dnn pupulnnf munrt snu f,nlnt. n rfstul( Fnfcnrf fstf nsfmnnt df nfnurucnrf, df-nnnn gsftn u fnmnlnf fr munrtf, rnnrf, nunl, srncnf, funmftf! % nu lupn, nu nsfnmn- s rfnunn, s nu tf npfrn. Ghnndn n nrtnt ncfnstn. % n nunftn pf !rmnnn tn nu nsfnmn- s tf lnn sun ugnt fr nprnrf! n nrmflf nunnrnn n ut, dnr flf nu rnfsc! Ncfnstn fstf dnffrfnn. %mfrfnnn fstf u cundnnf pfntru ncfst lucru n cfrtntudnnfn nnsulut, c nnmfnn nu-mn puntf lun nnmnc, pfntru c duhul mfu fstf dunr nftrfctur n nn!ulnfrnnnl. n tuntf cflflnltf sunt pf dfplnn nfnmpurtnntf.

3 Nrugnnn frn ncfputul. Nrugnnn nu sf puntf f,frcntn mult !rfmf! Multf zncnlf cunnn cu mult mnn mult ndf!r, dfct putfm nun s crfdfm. )u tnmpul nm n!nt fu, s rmn n ntuncn umnl, cnnd frn grfu, ntuncn cnd frn !urnn df .umnlnnnf/ ndf!rntf. n fu sunt tutun nucuruns dnn ncfst mutn!, pfntru c nm putut fu s trfc prnn ncfnst cunl. Mn s-nu dfschns pfrspfctn!f nun spnrntunlf, ln cnrf n mud nurmnl nncn nu sf !nsfnz. 'ltnmn unr m-n ntrfnnt Mnchnfl"f-nn gndnt tu !rfudnt, cum nm putut nun s dnscutm( Nprunpf ntutdfnunn nn putut s mn snmn prfzfnn, ctfudnt nn putut s m !fzn snu n ddfnn sfnmn df fnptul c sunt nprunpf. "u nn fust dfschns n prn!nnn mfn, n fu nm putut dfsfurn s-n trnnsnmt un gnd. *nr ntuncn, cnd frnn ntr-ndf!r cu mnnf( &un s-n nmnntftn mprf urrnlf( *n, ln ncfst fnpt fu nncn nu m-nm gndnt, fu ntutdfnunn m-nm trfznt n nrnflf tntlun mfu! *nr - cf n!fn fl df-n fncf cu tuntf ncfstfn( Fl n-n dnt ncfnst pusnnnlntntf. *rngustfn sn pfntru tnnf, fn n fust funrtf putfrnnc. Fn n-n pfrmns u stnrf df !nnrnnf, n cnrf n-n fust pusnnnl, s prsftn curpul tu n s n ungn ln nn!flul nustru. Fr cu!nt fu l-nm prn!nt. %pnrntul fstf ntr-ndf!r un prnnzunnfr nl curpulun, dnr cnd dunrmf ncfstn, puntf spnrntul s-l prsfnsc n puntf nntrn n nn znsn sffr nstrnl. %ffrn nstrnl fstf sffrn spnrntunl, cnrf n fstf curpulun fnznc cfl mnn nprupnnt, ndnc prnn nltf cu!nntf, cfl mnn us nn!fl spnrntunl. *uhul nu dunrmf nncnudnt. $un nu-n trfnunf u pnuz df udnhn cn n curpulun. Nunptf fstf n mnn nctn!, ntuncn cnd puntf s fug dnn strmtunrfn curpulun.

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Nn sunt n fnfcnrf nunptf muln unmfnn .pf drum/. *unr c dnn mutn!f prfcnsf fstf cunutnnn nchns, n df rfgul nu mnn f,nst nmnntnrn dnmnnfnn. +nsflf nr putfn f,plncn multf, dnc umfnnrfn nu nr fn nn df unrn. Multf !nsf nu sunt hnlucnnnnn n nu pru!nn dnn suncuntnfnt. %unt df fnpt mnn mult nntf trnrn, cnrf sunt ndusf df spnrnt dnn sffrn nstrnl, n cnrf - df multf urn dunr dfzurdunntf n frngmfntntf - n gsfsc drumul n cuntnfntul nustru. Muln nu !nsnt rudf cnrf nu dfcfdnt snu cunutnnnf, ln cnrf fn nncn nu s-nu mnn gndnt! %nu muln nu prnmnt n !ns drumurn dfsfnntf, dup cnrf fn nu cutnt mult !rfmf, snu rfzul!rn pfntru prunlfmf, ln cnrf fn lucrnu! Funrtf multf nn!fnnn sf fnc n .!ns/. *fcn cf rul s nnn ntuncn suncuntnfntul( %nu cn nu !nsnt df n df ntmplrn, cnrf s-nu ndf!frnt n scurt tnmp( )f rul s nnn ntuncn tutun suncuntnfntul( 0n sffrn nstrnl sf tfrg nnrnfrflf ntrf prfzfnt, !nntur snu trfcut. +un nu ! putfn nmngnnn, dfunrfcf tnmpul fstf un fnctur df nftrfcut pf pmnt, n nnmfnn nu-n puntf fncf fn. *nr ncfst lucru fstf !nlnnnl dunr pfntru mntfrnf. &fntru duh nu f,nst tnmp n tfrmfnul !ustru. ' sfcund pf pmnt puntf nsfmnn pfntru un duh u !fnncnf, n u mnf df nnn pmntftn put trfcf pfntru fl ntr-u clnp. *unr mntfrnn dfpnndf df tnmp. )hnnr n !nnturul nu fstf u cunncndfn ntt df mnrf, nn cum muln crfd. %f ntmpl tutul dup nnumntf lfgn n sf puntf sucutn nprunpf f,nct dnn trfcut. Nu cu crnlf df tnrut snu prnn cntnrfn mnnnn, cu tuntf c nnumntf nndncnn sf put gsn. )cn spnrntul f!ndfnfnz curpul, nn sfmnflf spnrntunlf cnrf sunt dfsfurn ffncnfntf pfntru !nntur, sf gsfsc pf curp. 0n pnrtf puntf fncf multf nfnrmnnn !nlnnnlf nstrulugnn. Nu nstrulugnn pfntru ntrfngn lumf. Fn fstf !nlnnnl cfl mult pfntru rndurnlf df nrf nlf unur nlustrntf. Nu, nstrulugnn cusmnc, cnrf puntf nflfgf nsfmnrnlf spnrntunlf nlf stflflur! %tflflf nu u mnrf nnflufn nsuprn !unstr. Numnn c nncn nu fstf nn cn pfstf tut- cf nu puntf !fdfn snu trn umul, nu crfdf. ) lunn nrf u nnflufn, ncfst lucru fstf df nfcuntfstnt. Ncfst lucru l puntf !fdfn fnfcnrf ln !nlurnlf mrnn. )hnnr n fnptul c f,nst muln dfpfndfnn df lun, fstf df nfcuntfstnt. *fcn, dnc u mnc lun rfuftf, s pruduc nstffl df schnmnrn, s nu nnn unrf nncn un fffct stflflf nfnmngnnnt df mnrn nlf unn!frsulun nsuprn pmntulun( Nnnfnflfs, lunn fstf mnn nprunpf# dnr stflflf nu nn u mrnmf mnrf, c n ln u dnstnn mnrf nu tutun nnflufn. )hnnr ncum nu ncfput s gndfnsc nltffl nstrulugnn !utrn. Nntrf tnmp sunt cunuscutf cnncn sutf df stflf nn znsf Funsnrf, dnn cnrf cfl mnn mnc, dup spusflf unmfnnlur df tnnn df ln NN%N, fstf mnn mnrf dfct cflf u sut df mnlnnrdf df stflf dnn snstfmul !ustru sulnr! &un tu s-n nchnpun nn cf!n( *nr ncfstfn sunt nc pnftrf mncn n unn!frsul nfmrgnnnt. )flf mnn mnrn stflf nu u mrnmf df mnn multf trnlnunnf df nnn lumnn! %-n nchnpun nn cf!n, fstf chnnr n pfntru nun funrtf grfu. n ncfstfn s nu nnn !rfu nnflufn, dnc mncn lun fstf n stnrf, s rndncf cu cn!n mftrn mnrfn urnn( $n mn urntntfn lumnn fstf grfnt ncfputul gndnrnn. Nu fstf nn, c m ntfnpt un !nntur ffrncnt, dunr c sunt dnn grffnl nscut n zudnn nnn snu cfnlnlt. Fstf nprunpf nn!frs. Nnmfnn nu sf nntf dnn grffnl. "untf nntfrnlf sunt cnlculntf cu f,nctntntf. n ntuncn ! nntfn sun u nnumnt cunstflnnf df stflf, dfunrfcf nnflufnn lur uffr f,nct ncfn nmprf urnrf df !nn, cnrf fstf nfcfsnr pfntru crftfrfn !unstr n cnrf ! puntf n utn. *nc cnnf!n nrf cununtfn ncfstfn n fstf n stnrf, s cntfnsc cu .ndf!rnt/ stflflf, puntf nflfgf multf mnn nnnf. *fcn - pfntru nun fstf cu mult mnn uur. )cn tutul cf n fust, n tutul, cf rfnfsf, fstf scrns n crnnlf spnrntunlf. )hnnr n fnptflf n nnflufnflf nlf cflun mnn ndfprtnt trfcut, dfsprf cnrf df f,fmplu nu put dn nncn u nnfurmnnf stflflf. "utun rmnf pfntru prfzncfrfn !nnturulun unflf lucrurn cnrf nu put fn tnutf, dnn cnuzn c ncfstfn nu df-n fncf cu pruprnn !unn lnnfr n fnfcrunn. Ncfstf crn spnrntunlf - n rfnlntntf nu sunt nntf crn, cn dunr furmf df fnfrgnf, cnrf put fn cntntf df cfl cnrf durftf - plutfsc prnn tuntf sffrflf spnrntunlf. *nr dunr n cfn mnn nnlt sffr fstf cumplft nnfurmnnn. 0n sffrn nstrnl f,nst dunr frngmfntf. )unutnnf n ndf!rurn nnltf n spnrntunlf nu sf put gsn nculu. 0n ncfn sffr sf put ntlnn df f,fmplu muln dfcfdnn, cnrf nu nu rfunt s urcf ntr-u sffr mnn nnlt. *urnnflf n pntnmnlf lur, df cnrf nu scnp nncn nculu, gndnrfn lur mntfrnnl n crfdnnn lur slnn n mpnfdnc. %ffrn nstrnl fstf nc lucul df unc n multur spnrntf nfcurntf n rflf, n chnnr n mn urntntfn unmfnnlur sf mnc nunptf prnn ncfn sffr. ) df multf urn nu nfsf nnmnc nntflngfnt dnn tuntf ncfstfn, tf pun gndn tu cu sngurnn. *nr multf cumnrf n nu nncn rdcnnnlf, ccn dfsfurn sf ntmpl lucrurn grunznncf n ncfnst sffr spnrntunl cfn mnn uns. n ncfstf lucrurn n crnufsc drumul n cuntnfnt sun furm df cumnrf. 0n ncfnst sffr sf unt mn urntntfn dnn !zturnn !utrn. Fn sfnmn cu nntf unmfnn cnrf nu !d dfluc nnnf, cnrf nu punrt uchflnrn n ncfnrc, s dfscrnf un pfnsn ntnns. &umnn n tufnurnlf dnn fn lf mnn put !fdfn, puntf c n cunturul munnnlur. *nr nncnudnt mnnunntflf pdurn n munnn frumun, flurnlf n nnnmflflf n fundnl. Fn unsfr! dunr frnturn n crfd c nu !zut tutul. Fn nccfpt tutul, fr s fnf n stnrf, s rfcununsc cf fstf ndf!r snu mnncnun. Fn crfd c tutul fstf ndf!rnt, dnn cffn cf !d. Nndncnn pf plnn mntfrnnl snu pfrsunnl sf put gsn ctf!n. n ctf!n fnptf cf sf !ur ntmpln. Muln !zturn nu succfs, dnr rnrfurn ntuncn, cnd fstf !urnn df lucrurn spnrntunlf. *unr frnturn sf put ndugn. &f 7rnstus snu pf ngfrnn %n nu n !n gsn nnmfnn nncn . Nprunpf n tuntf fdnnflf spnrntunlf sf ntmpl n ncfnst sffr. *uhurn unsf, n pnrtf n spnrntf rflf snu nn znsf duhurn mnncnnunsf, cnrf sf nucur rfgftf, ntuncn cnd cnnf!n n crfdf, sf dnu dfsfurn cn fnnnd spnrntf nnltf, snu chnnr ngfrn mrfn. Nnnfnflfs, sf mnn gsfsc n ctf!n ndf!rurn, ccn u nnumnt cunutnn pusfd n fn, n fn put, dnc fstf !urnn df cfn dfcfdnn, s spun lucrurn unmntunrf dnn trfcut. *unr - sunrflf nu l-nu !zut fn. Fn trfnunf s sf mulumfnsc cu ntunfrncul snu cu dunr punn lumnn. n prnn ncfnstn df!nnf !zul un uc df rulft. &f lng ncfnstn fstf ncfst ffl df spnrntnsm pfrnculus. )fn mnn muln lucrfnz fr scut spnrntunl. *nr un mfdnu trfnunf s sf dfschnd cu tutul, pfntru n stnnnln un cuntncut cu sffrn spnrntunl, fl sf d pur n snmplu pf mnn putfrnn ntunfcntf. )n nu pltnt ncfst lucru cu .!nnn/. *uhul lur s-n ntunfcnt, n fn nu !fgftnt n cflf mnn srncf cundnnn, df multf urn n cmnnf psnhntrncf.

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*nr nu dunr n sumn snu cn mfdnu sf puntf n ungf ln sffrflf spnrntunlf. )fl mnn nun drum fstf mfdntnnn. 0n mfdntnnf sf put nchndf snmurnlf n fnn lumnn. Mfdntnnn ndnc sf nsfnmn n f,tfrnur cu sumnul, dnr cuntnnnn nu fstf nchns. Mfdntnnn nu fstf pur n snmplu u fdfrf, nn cum sf spunf dfsfurn. Mfdntnnn nu fstf nnmnc pnsn!, cn un lucru nctn!, u pnrf nctn! sprf *umnfzfu, cnrf fstf dunr ntuncn pusnnnl, dnc snmurnlf f,tfrnunrf sf rftrng dnn lumfn f,tfrnunr. )nd urfchfn f,tfrnunr nu mnn nudf nnmnc, ntuncn sf puntf dfz!ultn urfchfn nntfrnunr, tut nn sf puntf ntmpln cu uchnul tu nntfrnur n cu snmul tu pfntru !nnrnnnlf lumnn spnrntunlf. "u tf ntrfnn df n df ln ncfput, df cf n f,plnc fu tuntf ncfstfn. Nnt, mfdntnnn fstf drumul tu. "u nn n uns df n funrtf dfpnrtf. "u n-nn n!nns sfntnmfntflf, nn n!nt rndnrfn, drngustfn n umnlnnn. "u n-nn tfrmnnnt cu nnnf tnmpul df n!nrf, ncum sf tfrmnn n nnnn tn df ucfnncnf. Fu !rfnu s tf n! ncum, cum pun s n ungn prnn mfdntnnf ln sffrflf spnrntunlf n cum pun lucrn spnrntunl. )cn n clnpn df fn nu ftn nc n stnrf, s mfrgn snngur drumul pn ln mnnf. %-n ndrfpn gndurnlf sprf *umnfzfu n sprf mnnf, ncfst lucru ftn unnnunt s-l fncn. *nr cffn cf tu nc nu tnn, su cf nu nn !rut s crfzn cu ndf!rnt- tutul, cf n nmngnnfzn, fstf ndf!rnt! )u ct mnn mult tf gndftn, cu ct mnn mult f,frsfzn, cu ct mnn nntfsn! n nmngnnfzn, cu ntt mnn ndf!rnt n mnn ffncnfnt fstf ncfst lucru. Fstf un cnpntul mnrf. Fu !rfnu s ncfrc, s-n f,plnc nf cf fstf cfl mnn nmpurtnnt. 4 $n ncfput frn )u!ntul n )u!ntul frn ln *umnfzfu n *umnfzfu frn )u!ntul. Ncfstn frn ntru ncfput ln *umnfzfu. "untf prnn Fl s-nu fcut# n fr Fl nnmnc nu s-n fcut dnn cf s-n fcut. Nntru Fl frn !nn n !nnn frn lumnnn unmfnnlur. 'nul dnntrf cfn mnn mnrn mnstncn, Nunn F!nnghflnstul, ncfpf nstffl F!nnghflnn sn. n nsfmnrn sf gsfsc ln cflf mnn multf rflngnn n scrnpturnlf lur sfnntf. "rducturnn !utrn nn Nnnlfn nu sf put ns ntr-ndf!r mulumn cu cffn, cf fn cntfsc. Nununfn )u!nt - lugus, cum sf numftf fn n grfnc - n fust schnmnnt n sfns. Ncfnstn nr fn un snnunnm pfntru 7rnstus! )n du!nd pfntru ncfst lucru fstf prupuznnn, cnrf st scrns ctf!n rndurn mnn us- n )u!ntul s-n fcut trup n s-n sllunt ntrf nun. Nnnfnflfs c nncn fstf !urnn dfsprf 7rnstus, dnr dnn ncfnst cnuz 7rnstus nu fstf )u!ntul. "rfnunf numnn s sf mfnrg nnpun ln tf,tul grfcfsc dnn ncfputurn. Nunn n-n scrns dunr F!nnghflnn sn n Grfcnn pfntru flf!nn sn grfcn, n cnnf nr !fnn ntr-ndf!r pf ndffn, c ntuncn cnd fl scrnf un tf,t df n!tur, s fulusfnsc prnntrf, cn !nrnnnf pfntru 7rnstus, nununfn )u!ntul( Ncfnstn tutun n-u puntf nnmfnn prfsupunf n sfrnus! Nu! Grfcfscul lugus, pf cnrf l fulusftf Nunn nncn, nrf, cf-n drfpt, n sfmnnfncnnn df )u!ntul, nntfrprftnrfn lun df nnz fstf ns putfrfn gndurnlur! Numnn c grfcnn nu fust n ncfnst prn!nn cf!n mnn dfpnrtf dfct umul mudfrn, culturnznt. Fn tnnu c gndurnlf n cu!nntflf npnrnn strns lnulnlt. )u!ntul fstf ntr-ndf!r numnn fncfrfn nuznt n gndulun. 0n cffn cf prn!ftf rfnlntntfn lun, nu sf schnmn nnsulut nnmnc! Nunn !rfn dfcn s spun- putfrfn gndurnlur fstf tutul! Fn sf nfl ln ncfput, n fr fn n-nr fn nnmnc! "untf lf-n fcut *umnfzfu numnn prnn putfrfn %n n gndurnlur! n n Nnsus 7rnstus n df!fnnt !nznnnl ncfnst putfrf pfntru nun- n )u!ntul s-n fcut trup. Ncfnstn nu nsfnmn ns nnmnc nltcf!n, dfct c nun tun, tunt fpturn lun *umnfzfu, suntfm numnn gndurnlf %nlf. Fl nf-n gndnt numnn pf nun, n cu tuntf nstfn suntfm nun tutun rfnlntntf. Ncfnstn fstf ntrndf!r n n!turn n nprunpf tuntf rflngnnlf, n n nnsfrncnn crftnnf. n ncfpnd df nncn, nncn nu fstf funrtf grfu, s gsftn cnlfn cfn curfct! Nntrf gndurnlf lun *umnfzfu n gndurnlf unun ngfr snu um nu f,nst nncn u dnffrfn sfmnnfncntn!! Numnn ncffn, c gndurnlf lun *umnfzfu sunt nfmrgnnnt df mult mnn putfrnncf dfct cflf nlf mflf snu nlf tnlf. &rnn ncfnstn put flf ntr-ndf!r s n nfptunnsc cu nn df mult mnn mult, .s mplnnfnsc/. n, n cuntrnrnul ncfstun fnpt, !n putfn n un um slnn cu gndurnlf snlf slnnf s nfptunnsc numnn punn. Ncfnstn nsfnmn ns n fnptul c, cu ct mnn mult n nculfzn duhul tu, cu ct mnn tnrf df!nnf duhul tu, cu ntt mnn mult !fn putfn tu nfptun. n ntuncn n!fm df n cf nf-nm prupus! Nu rmnf dfcn nnmnc nltcf!n df fcut, dfct s nntrfnfzn duhul n s-l ntrftn. Ndf!rntf schnmnrn, !nlurn cnrf rmn put fn numnn prnn duh crfntf. "unt mntfrnn fstf trfctunrf, ncfst fnpt n fstf tutun fnfcrunn zn df zn ndus n fnn uchnlur! Nu-n !n fn nf prfn grfu, pfntru c tu ftn funrtf nnnf prfgtnt! &rfnn ln tnnf fnfrgnf n rugcnunf, lns-u pf ncfnstn s curg n gndurnlf tnlf n gndftf-tf ntuncn nntfnsn! ln cffn, cf trfnunf s df!nn rfnlntntf. *nc tu !rfn s n ungn ln mnnf, ntuncn nmngnnfnz-n nntfnsn! pfrsunnn mfn n ncfnst mprf urnmf, nn df lnmpfdf, pn cf !n df!fnn ncfnstn rfnlntntf. n ntuncn ftn tu nncn! Nu cu trupul tu nnnfnflfs. *f ncfln nu fstf nnmfnn nntfrfsnt. "u, ncfstn fstf duhul tu! Fu nm spus udnt- Nun mnn n!fm nf!unf df tnnf. "u nu n-nn putut f,plncn pn ncum ncfst lucru. tnn tu ncum ncfnstn( Ncun tf !un n!n n nstn. Nnsus 7rnstus s tf rfnn n mnlustn!nrfn $un, f nnnf nstn n f,frsfnz hnrnnc n !nnu ncun nnrn. Nstn n fust nprunpf prfn mult dnntr-u dnt. &f mnnf m durfn cnpul. Fu nm n!ut nf!unf df ctf!n znlf, pnn cf nm prflucrnt n nm nflfs tutul. &n dn, dfstul tnmp nm n!ut fu ntr-ndf!r. n n mfrs mnn nnnf, dfct m-nm gndnt fu. Fu fusfsfm dunr df n df mult tnmp unnnunt .s dfcunfctfz/. *nc fu nu !runnm, pur n snmplu nu ngnm nnmnc df sfnm dfsprf cffn, cf sf ntmpln n urul mfu. &fntru mfdnul ncun urtur nl mfu sf nrtn sntunnn nn, df pnrc n durmn, n fl m lsn n pncf. Nncn nu sf mnrn df ncffn nnmfnn, c fu .durmfnm/ dnntr-u dnt u umtntf df zn, frnu dunr numnn funrtf punnn, cnrf sf purtnu cu mnnf nurmnl. Fu !rfnu s spun

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cu ncfst lucru, c numnn punnn n rflnnn cu mnnf rfncnunnu ntr-un mud tut nn df nnturnl, cn n cum nr n!fn un um sntus n fnn lur. )fn mnn muln sf gndfsc ntutdfnunn, dfunrfcf nu fn un hnndncnpnt n fnn lur, c nr trfnun s fnf pfstf msur df ntfnn, s sf gndfnsc ln tuntf funrtf f,nct, dnn cffn cf fn fnc n spun. *nr ncfnstn nu fstf un lucru nnturnl, n un hnndncnpt !rfn s fnf trntnt tut nn df nurmnl, cn n fnfcnrf nltul. Fl unsfr! fnfcnrf nfsngurnn, fnfcnrf fzntnrf, fnfcnrf nchndfrf n uchnlur n rndncrf dnn umfrn. Fstf df nsfmfnfn u frunrf s crfzn, c un surdu-mut n-nr rfmnrcn nnmnc, numnn pfntru c fl nu puntf nuzn nnmnc. %nu un hnndncnpnt mnntnl, pfntru c fl dunr nu puntf gndn lnmpfdf. Ncfnstn puntf fn, dnr s snmt put tun - n nnumf cfl mnn ndfsfn mult mnn nnnf dfct unul sntus! n fl unsfr! cu ndf!rnt ntr-ndf!r, dnc sf !urnftf nurmnl dfsprf fl snu dnsprfuntur snu cumptnmntur. n fncf nnnf, s fnn trntnt nurmnl. Nndnr, n urncf cnz nu sf cunturnn nnmfnn df nstn. Nstffl putfnm fu s mfdntfz urf ntrfgn. Nncn nu mn-n fust grfu, s m cuncfntrfz un tnmp punn mnn ndflungnt, cu ncfst lucru nm fust fu df n ntr-ndf!r ntutdfnunn unnnunt. Fu mn-nm ndrfptnt gndurnlf nsuprn lun Mnchnfl, ncfrcnm s mn-l nchnpun nntfnsn!. *nc putfnm pn ncum s snmt df n ndfsfn n .stnrfn nurmnl/ prfzfnn lun, ntuncn fu cptnm cu fnfcnrf mfdntnnf mnn nprufundnt un cuntnct mnn strns cu fl. Fu putfnm snmn, cum fl n punfn mnn sn pf nrnul mfu, putfnm s-l nud, ctfudnt df n s n !urnfsc cu fl. Fl m ncurn n tut tnmpul nnrn n m ntrfn. Fl frn tutdfnunn df fn, cnd n!fnm nf!unf df fl. Nntr-ndf!r, n durnt mult tnmp, n prugrfsflf mflf frnu mncn, ns flf frnu cunstnntf. n pfntru n f,frsn n rndnrf, n!usfsfm fu dunr df n dfstul tnmp. Nntr-u zn mn-n spus Mnchnfl- Gndftf-tf tutun u dnt ln mnmn tn, dnr rung-tf mnn ntn. Mnmn m !nzntn fnfcnrf n trfnn sptmn, pfntru c drumul ncuncf durn funrtf mult, n dfunrfcf mnmn nu n!fn mnnn, frn n funrtf cumplncnt cu trfnul n nutunuzul n ultnmn pnrtf pf us. Frn ntutdfnunn frumus, cnd fn frn nncn. Fu u nunfnm, n fn m nccfptnsf ntrf tnmp. Nu frn ntr-ndf!r nc u drngustf ndf!rnt, dnr frn prnftfnnf. 0n ultnmul sfrnt df sptmn n fust fn nncn, n !fnnt cn ntutdfnunn n tnmpul dup-nmnfznn, n mncnt cu mnnf, mn-n cntnt cf!n, mn-n pu!fstnt dfsprf frnnn mfn, pn cf n plfcnt ntuncn sfnrn nnrn ncns. Fu m gndfnm df fnpt ndfsfn ln mnmn, dnr nncnudnt nu mn-n !fnnt n gnd, s u nnclud n pf fn n mfdntnnf. Fu nncn nu tnnm nn df lmurnt, df cf trfnunf s m rug nnnntf df nstn. *nr m-nm unnnunt cu fnptul df n urmn nndncnnnlf lun Mnchnfl n nu mn s-n ntmplnt nncnudnt s nu rfufsc. Nstffl nm fcut n df ncfnst dnt, cffn cf fl m sftunsf. Frn !nnfrn dup-nmnnz. Fu m-nm rugnt ndflung, n-nm mulumnt lun *umnfzfu pfntru drngustfn n n uturul, pf cnrf lf prnmfnm mfrfu n m-nm cufundnt ncun n mfdntnnf ndnc. Fu mn-u nchnpunnm ntfnsn! pf mnmn. +nnfrn ln nmnnz, ntuncn !fnfn fn tutdfnunn df!rfmf ncns df ln lucru, mn-n pu!fstnt fn. n ntuncn nm n !zut-u df n. *n, fu nu !nsnm, fu u !fdfnm ntr-ndf!r. Fn dfschnsf punrtn grdnnnn, mfrsfsf n us pf cnlfn scurt pnftrunt n dfschnsf punrtn cnsfn. Fu m ducfnm nlturn nprunpf df fn n m-nm nfznt lng fn pf cnnnpfnun !fchf. Fn trfnunf s fn fust funrtf unusnt, n urncf cnz ndurmnsf fn ncun. Fu nm ncfput s .!urnfsc/ cu fn, ntuncn s-n ntmplnt cf!n cnudnt. 'n .cf!n/ cn un nur df cfn s-n dfsprnt df trupul fn n plutfn n fnn mfn n ncpfrf, prnntr-u sfunr funrtf sunnrf n nrgnntnf lfgnt df trupul fn. Ncfl .cf!n/ n!fn npru,nmntn! nfnnrfn curpulun fn, punn mnn mnrf puntf n nn df gnngn n trnnspnrfnt cn un !l df mtnsf. 'n tnmp scurt nm mnn rmns fu ln fn n putfnm s dnnlughfz cu duhul fn. Ntuncn nm fust fu dnntr-u dnt nnrn n trupul mfu, trfnunn nnrn s m sunurdunfz lnmntrnn lun. *nr fu frnm ffrncnt. &fntru prnmn dnt nm putut s m dfspnrt cuntnfnt df trupul mfu# cf-n drfpt, numnn pfntru un tnmp scurt, dnr nstn nu fcfn nnmnc. Fu tnnm, c nznutnsfm ncfputul. *f n n znun urmtunrf m-n !nzntnt mnmn. Fn n fcusf nn df multf grn n pfntru mnnf. Fn !nsnsf dfsprf mnnf"u tf-nn dus cu mnnf ln plnmnnrf. Nun nm dnscutnt cn duu prnftfnf dfsprf mud n hnnnf n nltf lucrurn nfnmpurtnntf. Nun nf-nm dus n sus pf un drum nnrupt, pnftrus prnntr-u pdurncf mnc dnn pumn cnudnn. Nsfmfnfn pumn fu nu mnn !zusfm nncnudnt. Fn frnu plnnn df strugurn fructf mncn, df un ruu dfschns, cnrf nrtnu cn scuruflf. Fructflf frnu funrtf frumunsf n unnfurmf, n pf fnfcnrf dnntrf flf, cu tuntf c frnu nn df mncn, frn scrns numflf tu n lntfrf nurnn- Nnrnnrn. 2nmurnlf df us frnu prnn grfutntfn lur nduntf ndnc sprf pmnt, nn nct nun putfnm s n ungfm uur ln flf. $n u mlntnn mnc nm pupusnt nun ntuncn n nm mncnt dnn fructflf tnlf. Flf frnu dulcn ln gust n nu n!fnu nncn u pnntr n nncn smnurf. )nd nn !fnnt tu, nu mn-n mfrs funrtf nnnf. Fu frnm unusnt n n punn nulnn! n m ustfnfnm, s nn pnsul cu tnnf. *f-nnnn tfrmnnnsfm fu ns df mncnt dnn fructf, c nm snmnt, cum u mnrf putfrf sf scurgfn n mnnf. Fu nm df!fnnt dnntr-u dnt funrtf uunr, nprunpf nnpundfrnnnl. *nntr-u dnt s-n npustnt un run mnrf df cuufnnf nfgrf nsuprn nunstr n nsuprn pdurncfn, pfntru n mncn fructflf tnlf. Fu nm df!fnnt funrtf nspmntnt, dnr tu tf-nn rugnt pur n snmplu. n ncfnst rugcnunf s-n pus pfstf nun prutfctunrf cn un cluput. Ntuncn nu !fnnt df ln cfr dun !ulturn mrfn, n cu znnfrfturn urtf nu fugnt cuufnnflf df fn. 'nul dnntrf !ulturn n znurnt dnrfct nsprf tnnf, tf-n cuprnns nlnd cu ghfnrflf snlf n tf-n lunt cu fl. "u nn zmnnt ntr-ndf!r n mn-nn fcut nc sfmn cu mnn, dnr fu nu tnnm, dnc nf nu n s-n ntmplnt tutun cf!n. Fu m tfmfnm, c ncfnstn nr putfn nsfmnn nfnurucnrf, df ncffn nm !fnnt fu nmfdnnt nstzn ln tnnf. "cut nm zmnnt fu n snnfmn. Multf !nsf nu nns ln n!fnl dnn suncuntnfnt, mn-n spus Mnchnfl. +nsul n fust u pu!fstf. )unnnutul !nsulun, ncfnstn n fust rfnlntntfn, pf cnrf n culurnt-u suncuntnfntul dunr cu nmngnnn. Frn u frumuns dup- nmnnz df smnt. Mnmn frn funrtf lnnntnt, lumnnnt nntfns df u pncf nntfrnunr. n fn frn sntuns. Mult tnmp nm mnn rmns fu trfnz dup lunrfn df rmns nun df ln fn n nm cugftnt. )um s-n fcut mnmn sntuns( *f undf !fnnsf putfrfn, cnrf n ptruns-u nntfns( ' prfsnmnrf tcut mn-n df!fnnt ncft cuntnfnt. Fu nm !nsnt n ncfnst nunptf dfsprf ffrncnrf n pncf. Fu frnm u pnsrf mnc, uunr n lnnfr, fr grn n. n nstffl m-nm n snmnt fu.

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3 *umnncn frn nnsfrncn nfnt dnn cumun df frumus mpudunnt. Frnu rusnlnnlf. %lu nn dn!nn frn funrtf sulfmn. )fn muln mnnnstrnnn, tmnnu, curul nnsfrncfsc cntn u slu n n lntnn. Frn u uscnlnnf npnrtf n nnsfrnc. 2usnlnnlf n-nu fust numnn u dnt pf tnmpul npustulnlur, mn spusf Mnchnfl. Fnfcnrf nn sf rf!nrs duhul lun *umnfzfu dnn nuu pfstf ncfnn, cnrf sunt dnspun, s-l prnmfnsc. Fnfcnrf prfn c snmtf spfcnfncul ncfstfn znlf. $nnntf n pncf frn nculu - n putfrf. &utfrfn unun *umnfzfu nunntur, )nrf u rf!nrs cuntnnuu nsuprn cupnnlur %n n cfrtutudnnfn sngur, c cnd!n n ultnmul !n fn dnspus n n stnrf, s prnmfnsc drngustfn $un. )n df unncfn, fdfnm fu n fn df tut n drfnptn, n fnn prnmflur nncn, n scnunul mfu df nn!nlnd. Fu m lsnm dus df uscnlnnf n df putfrf n m-nm cufundnt n mfsn ul nfnrnn zugr!ntf df dfnsuprn mfn- Nnsus l n!nf pf $nzr dnn murn. Mnchnfl mn-n f,plncnt df n u dnt nsfmntntfn ncfstfnn. $nzr n fust prnmul. )nd!n n !n fn n!nnt Nnsus pf tun cfn .murn spnrntunl/, n !n flnnfrn df durnnflf n lcumnnlf lur mntfrnnlf. Fl n !n flnnfrn dnn dfprtnrfn lur fn *umnfzfu, dnn mputmulnrnlf lur n mntfrnf n df tuntf suffrnnflf, cnrf s-nu furmnt prnn cdfrfn df ln *umnfzfu - munrtfn duhu!nncfnsc. Fl n !n n!nn ln u !nn nuu, ln u !nn n urdnnfn *umnfzfnnsc, ln u !nn, cnrf fstf purtnt df cflf nptf nsunrn nlf lun *umnfzfu- drngustf, !unn, rndnrf, sfrnuzntntf, urdnnf, mnlustn!nrf n nflfpcnunf. Ncfnstn fstf n!nfrfn dnn murn, nnumf dnn murnn spnrntunln. "rupul fstf fr !nlunrf, numnn duhul fstf ncfln, cnrf trnftf. Fu m-nm pnfrdut n prn!nrfn ln nfnnrfn zugr!nt. )ulurnlf nu df!fnnt mnn lumnnunsf, mnn !nn, pftfrn df murmnt trnst n cfdnt n fn!urfn unun lnn nlnd df culnnf, pumn n flurn nu nprut n Nnsus mfrgfn nsprf mnnf. Nu nu frn Nnsus, frn Mnchnfl! Fu rfunsfm! *nn pruprnn putfrf! Mnchnfl s-n untnt ln mnnf. Nu, fnrftf cn nu dnn pruprnn putfrf! Nprunpf n fn df!fnnt fu nnrn ncrfzut. Frn putfrfn lun *umnfzfu, cnrf m purtnsf. Fu trfnunn numnn s cuprnnd frnghnn, pf cnrf Fl u nrunc nuu tut mfrfu, n s m lns trns n sus. *nr pfntru prnmn dnt rfunsfm, s cuprnnd ncfnst frnghnf fr n utur strnn. *rngustfn n smfrfnnn m curnsfr nn df mult, m flnnfrnsfr df nnlnst, cnrf nf nchndf nuu n mud nurmnl cnlfn. Fu frnm pfstf msur df ffrncnt. Frn pfntru mnnf, df pnrc n fn pfntru prnmn dnt ntr-ndf!r nncn. Mnchnfl n pnt ln mnnf. Mulumfsc! Fu n mulumfsc nf. 0ncurcnt m-nm untnt n sus ln fl. *n, fu n mulumfsc nf, c n-nn nsunt n!turnlf mflf, c nn fust un nsfmfnfn flf! nsculttur. )t df dfs suntfm nun rfspnnn, lunn n rs! Nngfrn( Ncftnn sunt tutun numnn n pu!fstf! )t df dfs fstf ustfnfnln nunstr zndnrnnc, ct df dfs sunt rfspnnsf ndrumrnlf nunstrf pur n snmplu n !nt! 0n cfl mnn nun cnz suntfm nun nunn pfntru fnptul, df n prf!fnn nccndfntf n s-n pznm pf unmfnn df .lu!nturn nlf dfstnnulun/. *nr ndrumnrf duhu!nncfnsc( Nu, df ncfnstn nu mnn nu nf!unf unmfnnn nstzn. Fn nu df!fnnt nsfnnnnn n rnnunnln. Fn dumnnnu nnturn n tfhnncn. Fn putfnu chnnr s znunrf pf lun. n ntuncn s sf lnsf cundun cn nntf cupnn mncn( Ncfst lucru nu l puntf cfrf nnmfnn ntr-ndf!r. *f nfmrgnnnt mult rndnrf n drngustfn fstf nf!unf, pfntru cn nnn ntrfgn, dn, puntf u !nn ntrfng, c s lucrn n .zndnr/, s rd pf sfnmn tn n s df!nn u fngurnn dnn pu!ftn. *nr n nuu nf mfrgf cn n !uu pf pmnt. )hnnr n cfn mnn mnc ln!nn df!nnf udnt mnrf. 'dnt !n crftf cffn cf sf sfnmn. 0ntr-u nun zn df!nnf smnn plnnt. )nd, ncfst lucru nu dfpnndf df nun. $n ncfst lucru fu nncn nu m-nm gndnt. Nun dnspfrm df n dup scurt tnmp, ntuncn cnd nu sf !fdf succfsul durnt. )f mrfnf trfnunf s f,nstf ntuncn cnd lucrfzn zfcn df nnn, dn, puntf u !nn ntrfng df um, fr succfsul f!ndfnt( Fr n pnfrdf !rfudnt rndnrfn, fr n pnfrdf drngustfn( 'h ct df stupnzn sunt tutun unmfnnn! "u nu trfnunf s dnspfrn, n nntrnt Mnchnfl n gndurnlf mflf. &f pmnt fstf cu mult mnn grfu. )fn mnn muln unmfnn sunt df prfrf, c !nnn sf sfrftf dup munrtf, n tnmp cf nun n!fm !fnncnn n fnn uchnlur. )hnnr n tnmpul nrf u nlt nsfmnnrf pfntru nun. *fsprf ncfst lucru !fn nflfgf n tu n curnd ctf cf!n. *fcn! *nr, ncum, unt-tf punn mprf ur! Fu nu putfnm unsfr!n cf!n dfusfnnt, frn tutul cn df unncfn. &untf c flurnlf nflurfnu cf!n mnn nntfnsn!, puntf c nnrnn n!fn un mnrus mnn tnrf, puntf c psrnlf cntnu mnn mnnunnt. *nr n rfst( Frn mnn mult lumnn dfct nlt dnt. *n nnnfnflfs, frn mnn lumnnnt! n ntuncn fu l-nm !zut. %us pf cfr sttfn sunrflf n mrnmfn sn mrfn. Frn mnn strlucntur dfct mnn df surn pmntftn, n tutun nm putut s m unt dnrfct ln fl dup scurt tnmp. Nu, fu nu m-nm f,prnmnt curfct! %ttfn pur n snmplu pnsn!, pfntru n fmnnn u lumnn, cnrf nu-n npnrnnfn. Nu! Fl frn lumnnn! Fl sf untn ln mnnf! M lumnnn pn n ndncurn - n frn tutun pfstf tut. *n,df ncum nnnntf !n strlucn ntutdfnunn pfntru tnnf. Fstf lumnnn df !fcn, fstf Nnsus 7rnstus, fstf sunrflf %u, cnrf pfntru tnnf nu !n mnn npunf. *nr cum sf puntf, c fu !d sunrflf pfstf tut, fu put s m nturc cum !rfnu, n urncnrf dnrfcnf, n sunrflf fstf tut tnmpul prfzfnt. Nun nm !urnnt df multf urn dfsprf ncfst lucru. 0n lumfn spnrntunl nu f,nst lucrurn, cnrf lf-n crfnt cnnf!n snu cnrf lf-n nfznt, cns, pum, mnnn, flurn snu nnnmnlf - dfunrfcf nu f,nst mntfrnf. &fntru lumfn spnrntunl nu f,nst nncn uchn. 'chnul spnrntunl fstf, chnnr suflftul. "u pun !fdfn dunr cffn, cf fstf n tnnf! Ncum nn tu lumnnn lun Nnsus 7rnstus, nn prnmnt n tnnf drngustfn %n, dfcn prnn urmnrf u pun !fdfn. *nr nnnfnflfs pfstf tut, ccn nu nrf un punct stnnnl pf .cfr/. Fstf n tnnf. n pfstf tut undf ftn tu, fstf n ncfst sunrf. )nnf!n cnrf r!nftf dunr ln lucrurnlf mntfrnnlf, cnrf trnftf dunr pfntru nnnn n pfntru sntnsfncfrfn snmurnlur trupftn,

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spnrntunlul ncflunn fstf gul. n fl !n putfn !fdfn n lumfn spnrntunl dunr stncn gunlf. Nncn nnrn, nncn u flunrf nu !n putfn !fdfn, dunr frngul n pustnul n gulul n ntunfrncul! )u ct mnn mult drngustfn strngf n fl, cu ntt mnn cnld n mnn prnftfnuns fstf .nnnmn/ sn, dfcn cu ntt mnn cnld n mnn prnftfnuns df!nnf mprf urnrfn sn. Nmprf urnrfn fstf df fnpt u uglnnd n suflftulun! Ncfnstn fstf df fnpt n chfnn sprf rfcununtfrfn .cfrulun n n nndulun/. *umnfzfu nu udfc nncnudnt! Nncnudnt! *rngustfn fstf ntr-ndf!r n stnrf, s nn pf cnnf!n dnn scurt, s trnmnt .lu!nturn df dfstnn/ snu ncfrcrn, dnc flf fulusfsc, s-l n utf s-n schnmnf prfrfn n dnc l n ut s mfnrg un pns mnn dfpnrtf pf drumul spnrntunl. *rngustf mnn fstf n ntuncn, dnc l lu!ftn pf un cupnl pf dfgftf, pfntru n-l scutn df ru, ntuncn cnd ncfnrc pfntru n 9-n unr, s trng df pf sun cnznnul cu np clucutnt. *nr drngustfn nu pfdfpsftf nncnudnt, n n nncn ntr-un cnz pf !fcn. Nu, fnfcnrf sf rspltftf snu sf udfc pf snnf. *rngustfn pf cnrf tu nn strns-u pf pmnt, dftfrmnn stnrfn mprf urrnlur, n cnrf tu tf !fn nfln n lumfn spnrntunl. *rngustfn tf !n cunducf n .cfr/. 'rn ns puntf, cum fstf cnzul n pf pmnt, dfcn n n lumfn spnrntunl, s pru!uncf dunr cfnrt n suffrnnf ntr-un pfnsn pustnu fr lumnn n cldur. Ncfstn fstf .nndul/, n n ncfst nnd sf nfl cnnf!n dunr nttn tnmp, ct npnrnnf fl df ncfstn cu gndurnlf snlf. *nc fl fstf df prfrf, c trfnunf s-$ urnsc pf *umnfzfu pf !fcn, ntuncn sf !n nfln fl pf !fcn n ncfnst stnrf, ndnc n ncfl .nnd/. *nr fl nu fstf nruncnt df *umnfzfu nculu, fstf pur n snmplu dfcnznn sn lnnfr! *nc fl sf schnmn n dnc sf ntunrcf n nntfrnurul su sprf drngustf, ntuncn sf !n schnmnn cunfurm lun pfnsn ul cnrf l ncun unr. Ncfnstn fstf lfgfn. n fn nu sf !n schnmnn nncnudnt, nttn tnmp ct !n f,nstn crfnnn. *nc cnnf!n, cnrf dup gndurnlf snlf nr trfnun s fnf n .nnd/, n fstf ndus n cfrurn, fl nu nr putfn supurtn ncfnstn. Fl nu nr putfn supurtn lumnnn, nr fn cfl mnn mnrf chnn pfntru fl, n fl s-nr nruncn n mnrf grnn nnpun n ntunfrnc. Fstf f,nct nn, cn n cum cnnf!n nr n!fn uchnn sfnsnnnln ln lumnn. Fl nu puntf supurtn lumnnn n sf snmtf nnnf dunr n sfmn-ntunfrnc. *nr cu ct mnn mult sf mnuntftf stnrfn sn , cu ntt mnn mult lumnn puntf supurtn fl. *nr !nnn u nu uchnn, n nu lumnnn! *f ncffn pun !fdfn tu ncum pfstf tut lumnnn lun Nnsus 7rnstus. "u nn n uns ncum nn df dfpnrtf, c pun ncfpf s lucrfzn spnrntunl, pun ncfpf s df!nn u unfnlt n lun *umnfzfu pf pmnt. "u tnn ncum, c tutul cf fstf, cf f,nst, n fust crfnt prnn gnd. )hnnr n pmntul n tut cf f,nst pf ncfstn. $n ncfput n fust cu!ntul, gndul, ndnc fnfrgnf curnt, n ncfnstn s-n ndfsnt nn df tnrf, ntt df .grfu/, cn n df!fnnt mntfrnf. &rnn gndurn sf put crfn tuntf, sf put schnmnn tuntf, snu sf put dnstrugf. Gndurnlf trfnunf s fnf dunr funrtf putfrnncf. Ncfn putfrf u prnmftn tu df ln *umnfzfu. *nr prutf fnz-tf, mnn nlfs ntuncn, cnd n prsftn curpul. &n ncum nu fcut nlnn ncfst lucru. Ncum ns trfnunf s-u fncn snngur. &utfrnlf rflf stnu tut tnmpul ln pnd, n ntuncn cnd n nrn !ulnfrnnnlntntf, lu!fsc ntutdfnunn. &rutf fnz-tf df duu urn, n prnmul rnd prnn rugcnunf, dfunrfcf !nnrnnnlf sf nfnz cn un cluput n urul tu. 0n nl dunlfn rnd- gndftf-tf ln u crucf df lumnn, cnrf st n tnnf, cnrf fstf n curpul tu n cnrf strlucftf pn n f,tfrnur. Gndftf-tf nntfnsn! ln ncfnstn, n fn df!nnf ndf!r n lumfn spnrntunl. F-u dnn lumnn clnr n strlucntunrf. Gndftf-tf c rnzflf cnrf fmnn ncfn crucf, nlung tut cf fstf ru n nfgntn!, dnr ln tut cf fstf nun n puzntn! n crunftf drum sprf tnnf. Ncfn lumnn n-u puntf supurtn nncn un spnrnt ru. *fcn ncfnstn n fust, ln cf s-n rfffrnt fl cu cu!nntflf- Nun mnn n!fm nf!unf df tnnf. *fz!ultnrfn mfn frn df n dfstul df n!nnsnt, ncum n!fnm !unf s n ut pf nlnn. Fu frnm nucuruns, ffrncnt n mulumnt. Mnchnfl m-n mnrnnt. Ncum du-tf n drngustfn lun *umnfzfu, fu sunt mfrfu nlturn df tnnf. Gus df tut nm unsfr!nt fu curpul mfu. Fu plutfnm sun nultn ncpfrnn nltnrulun n sn!urnm uurnnn spnrntulun. Muzncn, rugcnunfn, tutul prfn mnn rfnl, mult mnn !nu. Nncn u durfrf, nncn u grn , nncn un trup .grfu/ nu dfrnn n duhul. Fu nm fzntnt, n dfudnt nm tnut, df cf nu n-n fust dnt fnfcrunn ncfst dnr, df cf n mud nurmnl trfnunf luptnt pfntru ncfnstn. )fn mnn muln nu s-nr ntunrcf nnpun! Fn nu nr schnmnn lnrgul n frumusffn spnrntulun cu strmtunrfn n cu suffrnnflf curpulun. *nr dnc nu mnn !ur s sf rfntunrc, sf rupf cnd!n ncfn frnghnf, cnrf mprfunfnz curpul cu duhul. &rnn ncfnstn munrf trupul, n fn nu mnn nu pusnnnlntntfn, s sf dfz!ultf n cuntnnunrf n s trnnsc, cffn, cf fstf cfl mnn nmpurtnnt, n stnrfn cnrf sf nfl fn. Ntuncn cnd fu mnm nflnt dnn nuu n curpul mfu, m-n lu!nt durfrfn dnn plnn. N durnt u !rfmf, pn cnd fu nm ncfput s-u stpnfsc. %lu nn nu s-n tfrmnnnt nc, n ncfnstn nsfmnn, c fu nm .lnpsnt/ cfl mult u umtntf df ur, dnr dup snmurnlf mflf, nm pftrfcurt nlturn df Mnchnfl mnn multf urf. *fcn ncfnstn frn dnffrfnn dnntrf tnmp. Nncftul cu ncftul nm ncfput s nflfg. ' stnrf df ffrncnrf s-n rspndnt n mnnf, nn cum fu nu nm mnn cunuscut-u. Fu nm prnmnt pusnnnlntntfn, s nntru n cuntnct cu lumfn dumnfzfnnsc, n fu nm ncfput, s nunfsc curpul mfu dffurmnt. Fl mn-n uffrnt ncfnst nns. Fr fl nu n fn gsnt cu nttn uurnn ncfst drum. 5 $n mnsn df nmnnz m-n hrnnt Frfd. Frn un nnnt nun, df uptsprzfcf nnn, dnr cu mnntfn unun cupnl df nsf nnn. Frn surdu-mut, n pncnunrflf snlf frnu nfpfnntf, dnr fl frn tut tnmpul prnftfnus, dn puntf c n cumnc. 'nul, cnrf nncnudnt nu sf plngfn. Fl sf ucupn dfsfurn df mnnf, fu frnm cu ntutfnunn cu drng n cumpnnnn sn. &f fl nu-l cunducfnu umnrflf. *fudnt n dnsprut nmngnnfn lun dnn fnn uchnnlur mfn. 'n rfgf sttfn n fnn mfn. Fl fdfn pf un trun df nur, ncun urnt df lnngunturnn, cnrf l !fnfrnu. %nln frn ct sf puntf df frumus nrnn nt. ' mns ffstn! frn nrnn nt, n sfr!nt, tutul frn mnnunnt. Nmngnnnlf sf schnmnnu rfpfdf. Fl prfn s fnf un rfgf ntrn nflfpt n drfpt, tun,

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cnrf n cfrfnu sfntul, prfnu s fnf mulumnn. Fl trfnunn s fn fust n funrtf dnrnnc, dfunrfcf ntr-u ncpfrf mnrf ln sf ddfn df mncnrf srncnlur n fn prnmfnu hnnnf n nltf lucrurn nmpurtnntf. Fu l !fdfnm cum sf rugn n l !fdfnm mfrgnd ln nnsfrnc. Nnsfrncn frn mnnunnt. Fl sttfn n lu n sn df rfgf n prnmfn cu un zmnft mnlustn! tuntf snlutrnlf slu nturnlur sn. 2ugcnunfn ct n purtnrfn sn nntfrnunr frn .drfnpt/. Fl n utn nnsfrncn dup tuntf putfrnlf snlf n sf mplncn cu tunt fnnnn. *fudnt n nprut un nrnnt, cnrf n stnt nprunpf nf!zut n fundnl. Fl frn snmplu mnrcnt, chnpul su frn ncun urnt df lumnn. Fl n !urnnt- "u ftn un rfgf, pf plncul lun *umnfzfu, nflfpt, drfpt, rndtur n plnn df drngustf. "u nu tf-nn rftrns df ln grfu n nu nn pncnt prnd nspntflur, cnrf !nn u dnt cu putfrfn n cu nugnn. Ncum ftn prfgtnt s n!fn ultnmul n cfl mnn grfu lucru, umnlnnn. Nmngnnnlf n pnfrdfnu culurnlf, n Frfd sttfn dnn nuu n fnn mfn. Fl mn zmnfn n mn-n ngnt n gur u lnngur plnn df snlnt df cnrtufn. Fu putfnm !fdfn prnn fl, putfnm !fdfn spnrntul su n m-nm untnt ntrfntur sprf fl. Fl n dnt dnn cnp n n ncfput s zmnfnsc. Ncum tnnm df cf m snmfnm nn df nnnf n prfzfnn lun. Nun nf nsfmnnm funrtf tnrf n .dfstnnul/ pf cnrf l n!fnm. 3 'rmturul tnmp n trfcut rfpfdf. Fu m rugnm mult n m ndncfnm n mfdntnnf. Fu prnmfnm prnn ncfnstn nn df mult putfrf, c dfsfurn nu mnn snmfnm nncn un ffl df durfrf. Funrtf prfcns sf snmfn cum curgfn !nlul df fnfrgnf pfstf cnp n spntf. Frn, df pnrc n fn stnt ntr-un cnrcunt df curfnt. Mulumnrf, ffrncnrf n pncfn s-nu nnstnlnt, pfntru cn s nu m mnn prsfnsc n !fcn. Nprunpf nncnudnt! Fu putfnm snmn curfntul, cnrf curgfn n sus n n us prnn culunnn mfn !frtfnrnl. Fl sf furmn n rurn mnrn, pfntru n df!fnn cfntrf df putfrf n rfzfr!f df fnfrgnf. Fu m gndfnm ln u crucf dnn lumnn strlucntunrf, cnrf frn nlnmfntnt df ncfstf cfntrf. )um mn-n spus Mnchnfl, frn tut tnmpul nculu, cnd fu mn-u nmngnnnm. )u tuntf ncfstfn nm fust surprnns, cnd dup un tnmp nm putut ntr-ndf!r s !d ncfn crucf. *f n df mnn mult !rfmf nm unsfr!nt, c umnrflf cflurlnn, ntuncn cnd !fnfnu sprf mnnf, sf ddfnu nnpun cn n curfntnn n nu putfnu s sf nprupnf mnn tnrf df mnnf. Ncum !fdfnm, c ncfst lucru sf dnturn crucnn. 2nzflf fn mpnngfn umnrflf nnpun. Nn nm putut s mnn unsfr!, c muln cupnn df!fnfnu mnn lnnntnn n nprupnfrfn mfn. )hnnr n surflf, cnrf frnu .nfcumfstnnnlf/, df!fnfnu n nprupnfrfn mfn mult mnn pnnncf. )hnnr n ndmnnnstrntunrfn n rfunt n ultnmn !rfmf, s !urnfnsc cu mnnf snu s-mn ntunrc pngnnnlf crnn mflf. *n, prfn chnnr s-n fnc plcfrf, s stfn un tnmp n nprupnfrfn mfn. Ncum tnnm fu n df cf! 3 Nntr-u dnmnnfn n ncfput Nfn nmnn s fnc u crnz. Fl lu!fn cu cnpul fr ntrfrupfrf zndul, nprunpf c nncn nu putfnn s prn!ftn n ncfn dnrfcnf. Fl n!fn dfsfurn ncfstf crnzf. )urpul nu n frn dfluc dffurmnt n df multf urn prfn s fnf ct sf puntf df nurmnl. F!ndfnt frnu dunr uffrtflf snlf f,ngfrntf df n utur, n tnmp cf frn ntt df nfndfmnntnc, c fnfcnrf, dnc frn pusnnnl, rfnunn ln n uturul lun, n ncfst lucru l fcfn s fnf funrtf trnst. %nmurnlf snlf rfcfpnunnu df fnfcnrf dnt ncfnstn. *f n tut ln ctf!n znlf n!fn ncfstf crnzf. *f unncfn durnu u ur pnn ln duu urf n l unusfnu. *up ncffn sttfn urf n nr n suspnnn, dnr nu prfn s nnn durfrn mnrn. *f dntn ncfnstn frn cn un nnnmnl slnntnc. )n n mncn spnrndun sttfnu nfnumrntf umnrf pf cfnfn sn n l lu!fnu cu pumnn n l nnu. Nnmfnn nu putfn s-l lnnntfnsc, pn cnd dfudnt mn-n trfcut prnn mnntf u ndff. Fu nm nfznt n nntfrnurul lun u crucf df lumnn, mn-nm chnpunt-u ct sf puntf df nntfnsn! n nm nlnmfntnt-u cu gndurnlf mflf cu fnfrgnf. Fu putfnm !fdfn, cum df!fnfn dnn cf n cf mnn mrfn, pn cnd n strlucnt pfstf tut. 'mnrflf sf mputrn!fnu, m nmfnnnnu, dnr nu frnu dfstul df putfrnncf. *f nnnnu n-nu pnfrdut n ultnmul fchnlnnru, n Nfn nmnn n df!fnnt dnn nuu lnnntnt. Fl n fust unusnt n suspnnn ncft. &fntru prnmn unr nm df!fnnt cuntnfnt df putfrfn spnrntulun. n putfrfn, cnrf u n!fnu ncfstf fnnnf, ct n putfrfn pf cnrf u putfnm fulusn mputrn!n lur. 0n f,tfrnur nu n unsfr!nt nnmfnn nnmnc. F!ndfnt frn cfl mult fnptul, c crnzn lun Nfn nmnn s-n tfrmnnnt nn df rfpfdf. Fu nm fust nfschnmnnt n f,tfrnur. *nr m-n custnt mult putfrf. Fu frnm unusnt, n n durnt mnn multf urf, pn cnd nm fust n stnrf, s m umplu cu fnfrgnf prnn cnlfn mfdntnnfn. *f nnnn dup duu znlf mn-nm rf!fnnt cu tutul! &unn nfncfrfztunrf nm fust tutun, ntuncn cnd Mnchnfl mn-n pu!fstnt dfsprf luptn spnrntflur. Ncum ns nm trnt, ct df rfnl fstf ncfnst lupt, cu cf putfrf trfnunf ndus ln nun sfrnt. Fu n-nm mulumnt lun Mnchnfl, c mn-n dnt nmpulsul curfspunztur. Mnn lun prfn s sf pun cu tnndrff pf umrul mfu. Ncfstn n fust ncfputul, mn-n spus. )u tnmpul !fn n!n s lupn, fr s tf unusftn. *nr s nu df!n supfrfncnnl, s-n prn!ftn tut tnmpul n sfrnus! Fu m-nm nucurnt c frn nlturn df mnnf, n nn nm ndurmnt rfpfdf. Frn ntunfrnc n rfcf. &frfnn nfcnulun suntfrnn frnu umfzn. "rfn nrnnn nprunpf dfznrcnn frnu prnnn cu lnnurn df pfrftf. )hnpurnlf lur frnu plnnf df tfrunrf, unulnnnn n nltf ruztunrf lf-nu mncnt df n pncnunrflf. Npru,nmntn! dnn duu n duu sfcundf pncnu strupn df np pf cnpftflf lur dnntr-u fn! cunstrunt pfntru ncfst lucru. Fr ntrfrupfrf! Hnlf ntrfgn! %ptmnn ntrfgn! 'n nrnnt sttfn n fnn lur n zmnfn n dnrfcnn lur. "ut mfrgfn sprf runnnftul cu np, f!ndfnt n!nd nntfnnn s-l uprfnsc, pfntru n sf putfn nucurn dnn nuu, ln

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sclnpnrfn df spfrnn, cnrf n lumnnnt dnn uchnn fr f,prfsnf, pfntru n fn nlucunt dnn nuu df tfrunrf. *fudnt s-n nturs turnunnrul, nn cn fu s-n put !fdfn dnn plnn fnn. Fu nm znnfrnt df grunz. Frn Nfn nmnn! Mult tnmp n durnt n ncfn nunptf pn cnd fu nm ndurmnt dnn nuu. "ut tnmpul nu nprut dnn nuu ncfstf nmngnnn ngruzntunrf. *f cf( Fu nu putfnm s cfrcftfz ncfnstn n prufunznmf. Nncn un nnnnnl nu fstf cnpnnnl s chnnunf un nltul. Nncn mcnr pnsncn, cnrf sf unc cu unrfcflf, nu fncf ncfnstn dnn plcfrf, cn numnn dnn nnstnnct, pfntru c, cnrnfn fstf mnn dulcf ln gust dup ncffn. $n ncfnstn fstf unrfcflf ns nn df pnrnlnznt, c fl nu mnn snmtf nnmnc. )um puntf un um s nfptunnsc nn cf!n! )um puntf un um s sf nucurf df chnnurnlf nltunn! )f ffl df ndfprtnrf df ln *umnfzfu fstf nfcfsnr pfntru ncfst lucru! *nr *umnfzfu nu rfspnngf pf nnmfnn. Nncn pf ncftn unmfnn. )f ffl df mn luncf sunt nfcfsnrf, pfntru n dfschndf uchnn unur nsfmfnfn unmfnn, pfntru n lf fncf lnmpfdf grffnln fnptfn lur( % nprfcnfz ncfnstn, nu put! Numnn un snngur lucru l tnu sngur- Nu sunt nncnudnt pfdfpsf! )hnnr dnc n uchnn nftnuturn n nfncrfzturn nn lumnn nrnt ncfnstn nc funrtf mult nstffl. Nu sunt nncnudnt pfdfpsf, numnn ncurdrn df n utur, cnrf nrnt sprf dnrfcnn curfct, dnc cnnf!n fstf dnspus, s sf cunfurmfzf n s prfnn mfsn ul lur. Nstffl !rfn umul s sf fnc udfctur pfstf *umnfzfu. Fl sf snmtf nlfstfmnt snu cfl punn trntnt nfdrfpt n l n ur dnn cnuzn .pfdfpsfn/ grflf, pf cnrf n pus-u *umnfzfu nsuprn lun. $n ncfnstn numnn c nu fstf fl n stnrf, s !nd nuntntfn nfmrgnnnt n lun *umnfzfu, cnrf n fncf nstffl df-nnnn pusnnnl, s gsfnsc cnlfn curfct n tutun s-n pstrfzf !unnn lun lnnfr. Ncfnstn fstf mnrfn dnfncultntf. *nc n-nr fn !unnn lnnfr, ntuncn nr fn pfntru *umnfzfu un lucru uur, s-l nn pf ncfstn ln Fl ntr-u sfcund, fr suffrnn, fr chnn. *nr Fl nr fn dnstrus cu ncfnstn duhul su lnnfr pfntru tutdfnunn, nr fn fcut u fnnn lnnfr s df!nn un scln!. )nnf fstf n stnrf, s pfnsc pf cnlfn cfn ngust, cnrf ducf prnntrf dfcnznn lnnfr n !unnfn n nndmnsnnnln nnflufnnrf( )nnf puntf nprfcnn ncfnst drumfnf pf muchnf n cnnf puntf s fnc crntnc ln ndrfsn mn luncflur, pf cnrf *umnfzfu lf nng n lupt( *nc unul, crunn fu n ntnnd mnn, pfntru c n czut n np, nu !rfn s cuprnnd ncfnst mn dnn ngmfnrf, ntuncn fu tutun nu sunt df!nn, dnc fl sf lupt cu nnfcul. &fntru unul, cnrf plfnc dfpnrtf, puntf prunnnnl s pnr nn, df pnrc fu l-nm rfspnns. Numnn cfl cnrf st nprunpf puntf s mrturnsfnsc cuntrnrnul. *f cf nu-l crfdf nnmfnn( )upnlul puntf fn suprnt pf mnn, cnrf l trngf rfpfdf n dur dnn fnn mnnnnn cnrf sf nprupnf. ) fl n dnturfnz ncfstfn mnn !nnn, tnf numnn cfl cf !fdf - n cfl crfdnncnus. 3 Nfrn n murnt surn Grncnn. *f un tnmp ndflungnt fusfsf fn nunn!, fr s sf fn plns !rfudnt chnnr numnn punn. Fu tnnm, c fn n!fn durfrn putfrnncf, fu putfnm s-n !d nntfrnurul suffrnnd, cffn cf f,tfrnurul fn nscundfn smfrnt. "ut cf fcfn fn, frn u rugcnunf. "ut cf fcfn fn, fcfn fn pfntru *umnfzfu. Nntutdfnunn sf nfln fn ntr-u lfgtur duhu!nncfnsc cu Fl n n mulumfn pfntru suffrnnn, pf cnrf Fl n-u trnmnsfsf. n ntutdfnunn n!fn fn tnmp, n tutdfnunn gsfn fn cu!nntf nlnnttunrf pfntru fnfcnrf. *f n nnnntf cu u sptmn prf!zusf fn munrtfn fn. 'n ngfr n !fnnt ln fn n n-n spus- +nnu, "ntl tf ntfnpt! Nngfrul n-n mnn prsnt-u n ncfnst sptmn, n prfgtnt-u pfntru !nnn nuu, munrtfn trupulun n .nntfrfn/ duhulun. )u trfn urf nnnntf df munrtfn fn n lunsf fn rmns nun df ln tun, l rugnsf umnl pf prfut pfntru n u spu!fdn. 'ltnmflf fn cu!nntf sunnu cn u ntrnrf prnn urmnt- *rngustfn lun *umnfzfu fstf sfcrftul %u. %fcrftflf nu nu nncnudnt unncfnul s sf nflf pf us, pf strnd. *nr fnfcrunn, cnrf !nnf ln Fl n l rung pfntru ncfstfn, n fncf cunuscutf ncfstf sfcrftf. 2ul n ncunnt un ln cnmfrn $un cu trfn ncunfturn. )hfnlf ln ncfnstn sunt- drngustfn, smfrfnnn n rndnrfn. )u punn tnmp nnnntf df munrtfn fn nu nprut nln dun ngfrn. Fn nu lunt duhul fn df suflft n mn lucul lur n lnu rpnt, ctrf lumnn. ' dnstnn scurt nm putut fu s-n ncumpnnnfz, ntuncn nu dnsprut fn. Ncfnst nlnmf nc n-u putfnm urcn. &nsrfn n fust nnrn lnnfr# nsunt df trfn !ulturn n znurnt fn pn n cfl mnn nnlt cfr. Fn nu sf mnn ngrn fn df cucn munrt, pf cnrf tun u plngfnu. 3 Mnmn frn dfsfurn ln mnnf. *f un tnmp m !nzntn fn nprunpf fnfcnrf spmn. Fu frnm df nsfmfnfn ndfsfn ln fn n duh, !urnfnm mult cu fn, n ddfnm putfrf. Fu putfnm s n nzgunfsc umnrflf, cnrf u chnnunnu. $n ncfput df fnfcnrf dnt dnn nuu. )u tnmpul prfn fffctul s durfzf tut mnn mult, pn cf flf s-nu rftrns ntr-u nun zn pf dfplnn. *rngustfn crfscusf n fn n furmn mprfun cu rugcnunfn u nfurnrf prutfctunrf n urul fn. Nntrndf!r n fust fn tut tnmpul nnrn cunturnnt df ncfstf duhurn rflf, cnrf u nfc fnu cu ntncurnlf lur n cu dunnnlf lfn, dnr s sf stnnnlfnsc nu mnn putfnu flf. n drngustfn tntlun nfptunsf udnt ncflnn lucru n n prucurnsf ndfsfn lnnntf pfntru un tnmp scurt, urf, n cnrf fn frn funrtf ffrnct cu tntn. % nngf df sfnm tuntf ncfstfn nu putfn mnmn. *nr fn snmfn lfgturn, pf cnrf u cunstrunsfm ctrf fn. Fn l-n prflunt ncum pf *umnfzfu n !nnn fn, gsnsf n sfrnt cf!n pncf. *nr trfcutul fn u chnnunn mfrfu. 2fpruurnlf u fcfnu s suffrf. Nntr-u dup nmnnz s-n prnunt fn, plngnd.

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Fu n-nm fcut nf n tntlun !nnn nn df grfn. Fu nm fust nn df fr drngustf n fgunst )um s put fu s ndrfpt ncfnstn !rfudnt( )u ct df mult drng n-n fn nnut ncum mnmfn un dnscurs lung dfsprf drngustfn lun *umnfzfu, cnrf nu trfnunf nncnudnt s nfrtf, pfntru c fn n-n ncuznt nncnudnt. *nr pfntru ncfst fnpt nu frnm fu n stnrf. )tf!n gndurn nlnnttunrf putfnm fu s-n fnc nflfsf, n ncfnstn mfrgf df n dfstul df grfu. *nr fu tnnm, cf !urnfnm fu cu fn n duh, ncfst lucru durn prunnnnl punn mnn mult, pn cf n pfn n cuntnfntul fn, dnr ntuncn df!fnfn nstn pruprnftntfn fn. Ncfnstn !fnfn ntuncn dnn .nntfrnur/ n putfn df ncffn s fnf nflfns mult mnn rfpfdf dfct gndurn strnnf n duscunn nurmnl. )t df dfs nu n nu unrnn gndurnlf n !un nn!, spusf Mnchnfl u dnt. )fn mnn muln nu put dnstnngf gndurn strnnf df cflf pruprnn. Nngfrul !ustru fstf ncuntnnuu ucupnt cu fnptul, df n ! nntruducf gndurn, cnrf ! nrnt cnlfn cfn ndf!rnt. Ncfnstn fstf cffn, cf fstf ndfsfn numnt cn scrupulf. *nr ct df uur sunt ncfstfn nnrnn nruncntf cu uurnn! 'n ngfr tutun nu nrf putfrfn, s ! unlngf sprf nnnf, fl dunr nu puntf punf !unnn !unstr n nfnrn strnn df funcnunf. &f df-u pnrtf uptfsc umnrflf nfncftnt nsuprn !unstr, ! cunfnrm n !ncnnlf n pntnmnlf !unstrf, ! ndfnmn sprf fnptf runnunsf n crnmf, ln cnrf flf sf dfsftfnz ntuncn. *f cf nscult numnn nn df muln cu nun-!unn df flf( Nncn ncfstfn nu sunt tutun gndurnlf lur pruprnn. Fu trfnunf s-n fnu tntlun nfsfrnt df mulumntunrf, c fl n rmns ln mnnf! Mnmn m lunsf nnrn nnpun dnn !nsflf mflf. Fu nu n-n fn putut nnf cu prfrf df ru, dnc fl s-nr fn dus, dnc fl n-nr mnn fn putut supurtn !nnn cu ncfnst ffmfnf ncpnnt, fr drngustf. *nr fl frn ncfln, cnrf mn-n prfgtnt cnlfn cu drngustfn lun. Fr fl n-n fn gsnt cnlfn nnpun ln *umnfzfu. Fu nm n !nsnt tut tnmpul nnrn dfsprf tntn, n fl fstf mfrfu nn df nunntur n rndtur cn nnnntf. *n, un mfsn frn drngustfn. Fl !urnfn dfsfurn n duh cu mnmn, cum mn pu!fstnsf Mnchnfl ndfsfn. Nu cuntnfnt, cum putfnm fu s-u fnc ncum. *rngustfn fncf ncfnstn nutumntnc. n mfsn ul fn n ungf tutdfnunn ln dfstnnnnf, chnnr dnc nstn durfnz ctfudnt pfntru nununnlf nunstrf nfsfrnt df mult, dn chnnr n ntuncn, cnd pfntru nun nu df!nnf !nznnnl nnsulut nncn un succfs. )nd!n udnt sunt mprf urrnlf fn!urnnnlf, ntuncn nns rsndul. Nun trfnunf dunr s dm drumul prnn clcnrf ln!nnflur nunstrf mncn. Mnrn df!nn flf ntuncn snngurf. )t df muln cfdnu nstzn ntt df rfpfdf n sf dfspnrt, pfntru c nnmfnn nu lf puntf prftnndf, s trnnsc mprfun cu .nn cnnf!n. Fn nu mnn sunt dnspun, s nduc frtff, s dfn un pns nnpun snu prunnnnl s n slu fnsc u dnt. Fn nu mnn sunt dnspun, s cunsnmt cu cfllnlt, s-l nccfptf pf dfplnn, s-l n utf ln rfzul!nrfn prunlfmflur snlf. 'rnnn df fgunsmul lur pruprnu !d fn numnn grfflnlf snlf Ann znsfB. *rngustfn n df!fnnt dfmudnt- nuturfnlnznrf sf numftf cu!ntul df df!nz! n ln ncfnstn fstf cfllnlt tutun numnn stn fnntur. Fl fstf dunr .fulusnt/ cn un unnfct, nn df dfpnrtf pf ct sfr!ftf fl pruprnnlur nntfrfsf n durnnf - n dup ncffn fstf nnrn nruncnt. Frn nn df frumus df n !fdfn, cum mnmn sf schnmnnsf. Fn sf rugn mult n n n utn pf cfnlnln nn df mult pf ct putfn. $ucrurn mntfrnnlf nsfmnnu pfntru fn cu mult mnn punn dfct nnnntf. *nr ncfstfn nu frnu numnn .cumurn pfntru cfr/, pf cnrf fn lf ndunn. n nncn n ncum n mfrgfn prnn ncfnstn df n cu mult mnn nnnf. Fn n df!fnnt mnn mulumnt. $n tunt muncn n suffrnnn sllunn tutun u ffrncnrf tcut n fn. "ntn sf nucurn cu sngurnn funrtf mult df ncfst fnpt. Fl n-n nrtnt n !ns, cn fn s nu nnn nustnlgnf dup fl n gndurn, cn s sf ucupf df fnptul, cn frnnn mfn, cnrf frnu ncum nmndun df n mnturn n n!fnu fnmnlnn pruprnn, s punt gsn tut nn cnlfn cfn drfnpt. *f mult rndnrf n drngustf !n fn nf!unf pfntru ncfst lucru. 6 Nnc u dnt nnrn trfnunn fu s fnu dus spfntru nnnlnzf n clnnnc, ntr-u clnnnc unn!frsntnr, n cnrf n-nm mnn fust nncnudnt. Fu !runnm mnn ntn s m upun, nm rfnlnznt ns ncun, c fu nu n!fnm nncn u nns# nstffl m-nm dnt fu n mnnnlf dfstnnulun mfu. *nn tnmpul nccndfntulun nu mnn pnsfm n nncn u clnnnc, n ncfnstn n fust n urm cu u grmnd df nnn. *f n df dfpnrtf m-n cuprnns un sfntnmfnt ru. Ntuncn cnd nun nfnm nflnt n fnn purnn, m-nm spfrnnt fu funrtf tnrf. &fntru prnmn dnt df cnd putfnm .!fdfn/, m-n cuprnns u frnc df nfdfscrns. Frn u nmngnnf df cnus. *uhurnlf murnlur n !nn, nlf nnnmnlflur n unmfnnlur, tuntf df!fnnsfr u mns n fnfrnfrf, nfngr. &fstf tuntf sf nfln un nmfns strngt df n utur duhu!nncfsc. )um n frn cun!n pusnnnl, s lucrfzf nncn, fr s fnf strn!nt df ncfnstn( *uu znlf trfnunn s rmn nncn, mn spusfr fn. Fu trfmurnm cu tut trupul. Nu-mn frn pusnnnl s mfdntfz. Fr ncftnrf m lu!fnu umnrf, nu-mn lsnu nncn cfl mnn mnc luc df lnnntf. Fu l-nm rugnt pf Mnchnfl dup n utur, df-nnnn ntuncn mn-n rfunt, s-mn fnc cf!n spnnu lnnfr n lnnntf cu crucfn df lumnn. Nncnudnt nnrn nu mn-n mnn fust fffctul fn nn df lnmpfdf cuntnfnt cn nncn. 2nzflf fn crfnu un znd, cnrf m nfurn prutfctur. *nr sumnul nu frn pusnnnl. *f ndnt cf nm fust lsnt n pncf df ctrf ducturn, nm cutnt scpnrfn ln Mnchnfl. Muln trfnunf nncn s-n pftrfnc ntrfngn !nn! Fu m-nm untnt ndflung ln ducturn n ln sururn. )n prnzunnfrn ntr-u cntndfl n umnrflur nrtnu fn. *nn tuntf prnlf !fnfnu flf n trgfnu df fn, lf sugfnu tut dnn fn. )nnf !runn nncn s suprn!nfunnsc, trfnunn s nnn u ndf!rnt nntur df tnur - snu s fnf un sfnt. Fu putfnm s-n !d pf unnn dnntrf ncftn sfnnn. 2ugcnunfn n drngustfn n nfurnu cn un curt prutfctur. %mfrnn sfr!fnu fn tuturur, nnfnu tut tnmpul u nucnt df pncf n mnnnlf lur n u mprfnu tuturur, cnrf sf ntnndfnu s prnmfnsc ncfnstn. Nnflfgfrf, nuntntf n nlnntnrf n

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nfurnu n pf pncnfnnn lur ntr-u mnntnu prutfctunrf. Fnfrgnn, pf cnrf fn u fmnnnu mfrfu, curgfn fr nncftnrf cn ndnus dnn sffrn duhu!nncfsc-dumnfzfnfnsc, un nz!ur cnrf nncnudnt nu sfcn pfntru ncfln, cnrf rung n sf rung pfntru n prnmn ncfnstn. %un cnmfrn mfn trfnunn s sf nflf curtfn df dnnnnntf sprf nnd. Numnn cu prutfcnn lun Mnchnfl nm ndrznnt s m duc nculu. Frnu duhurnlf n zfcn df mnn df nnnmnlf, cnrf umplfnu ncpfrnlf cn u mnrf spumfgnd dnn lncrnmn, frnc n rfpru. Nncnudnt n-nm !zut fu lucrurn mnn ngruzntunrf, nncnudnt u suffrnn mnn mnrf. $n chnnurn nfnmngnnnnnlf trfnunnu ncfstf nnnmnlf s fn fust pusf. Frn nndul! )rfnt prnntr-unn dnntrf cflf mnn ngruzntunrf crnmf nlf umfnnrnn, !n!nsfcnn. )u trupul !nu, fr nnfstfznf fusfsfr multf dnntrf ncfstf nnnmnlf upfrntf. *nc f,nstn u cunl pfntru drncn, ncfnstn df nncn trfnunn s fnf. *uhurnlf nnnmnlflur, nltffl fnnf nn df !nunnf, frnu dfsfngurntf pn ln nfrfcununtfrf. *uhul nnnmnlflur nu sf nfl nncn pf dfpnrtf nn df strns n trup cn ln unmfnn. *f ncffn puntf un nnnmnl s supurtf mult mnn uur durfrn .nurmnlf/. 'n nnnmnl suffr df rfgul ln rnnrn n nuln nncn pf dfpnrtf nn df tnrf cn un um. unrfcflf, cu cnrf sf unc pnsncn, zfnrn, pf cnrf n prnns-u lful, muscn, cnrf n fust prnns df pnnn fn, flf nu suffr ln ncfnstn. *uhul lur sf dfprtfnz ntt df dfpnrtf df trup, c fl rmn nfturnurntf df ncfnstn. Numnn chnnurn nlf schnngnunrnlur nfumfnftn put ducf ln nnnmnl ln fnptul, c duhul su fstf n fl nnclus, c fl suffr chnnurn nlf nndulun n fstf n nn ffl df dfsfngurnt, cum fu nm gsnt ncfnstn nncn. *f cf( &fntru cf( 'n rspuns ln ncfstf ntrfnrn nu fstf pusnnnl. Nn cn n cum dnntr-un rznun nu puntf nncnudnt s nns pncf ndf!rnt n dnn nfnurucnrfn nlturn nncnudnt ffrncnrf ndf!rnt, nstffl nncn nu sf lns nncnudnt n!nns prnn sufrnnn nlturn pruprnn nunl. *nn durfrf, strmturnrf n munrtf - n snu f,nct ntuncn cnd fstf !urnn df nnnmnlf - nu puntf nncnudnt s fnf nscut sntntfn. Mfdncnmfntf n mftudf df upfrnnn, dfz!ultntf prnn f,pfrnfnf pf nnnmnlf, put fn ln prnmn !fdfrf plnnf df n utur ln multf nuln. &fr tutnl ns prncnnunfsc flf df n prnn fffctflf lur nd!frsf cu mult mnn mult pngun, dfct sunt flf untnlf, fcnd cu tutul nnstrncnf df urmrnlf duhu!nncfsc-suflftftn, cnrf cntrfsc nc cu mult mnn grfu. Munrtfn nu puntf crfn !nn. Ncfnstn fstf lfgf! $un Mnchnfl nsun nu-n frn uur s rmn lnnntnt. Nnc nncnudnt nu l-nm !zut nn df fmununnt. &fntru nfnumrnt df multf suffrnnf nlf umfnnrnn fstf rfspunsnnnl ncfnst crnm! Nntr-ndf!r nsntunt prnn ncfnstn n-n fust pn ncum nc nnmfnn! Nun nncn mcnr nu putfnm ncurdn n utur. Frn ngruzntur! Fu frnm nucuruns, s plfc nnrn rfpfdf df nculu, df us. *nr nmngnnnlf mn-nu rmns u !nn ntrfng n nmnntnrf. 'scnlnnnlf ngruzntunrf, cnrf sf rspndfnu dnn ncfst luc, nnfnu ntrfngn clnnnc cn prnzunnfr. 0n dnmnnfn urmtunrf nm fust cuntrulnt df ducturul %tfrn. *nn .grffnl/ frn tut ncfl ductur, cnrf m-n chnnunt dup nntfrfn, n prnmn mfn nntfrnnrf n spntnl. *nr df dntn ncfnstn nm rfunt s nnu sfntnmfntflf df ur n df rfpru, dn, nm rfunt chnnr s lf schnmn n drngustf. Fl fstf un prnnzunnfr nl mfsfrnfn snlf, mn-n spus Mnchnfl. Nnn ntrfgn, df n df cnd n-n ncfput spfcnnlnznrfn fstf f,pus ncfstur !nnrnnn. Fl nsun n trfnunt s fnc f,pfrnfnf pf nnnmnlf. *f muln nnn n sf spunf, c npnrntflf sunt snngurflf, pf cnrf fl sf puntf nnzn. *f nntunnf nu !urnftf nnmfnn. *umnfzfu fstf n cfl mnn nun cnz !nlnnnl pfntru crnlf df pu!ftn. Ncfnst cunl nu lns u nlt nltfrnntn!. 'nt-tf cu ntfnnf ln ducturul %tfrn. Fl nu fstf ru. Fl fstf cun!nns, c fncf cffn cf fstf drfpt. Fl fstf cun!nns, c puntf !nndfcn. )nnf n n!nt u spfcnnlnznrf cum fstf n sn, s nnn ncrfdfrf dunr n npnrntf, cnnf n n!nt, s sf untf dunr ln pnrtfn nulnn! n nu ln ntrfgul um, cnnf n n!nt, c nu sf cndf s n nrntf sfntnmfntflf, cnnf fstf dup ncffn nruncnt fr *umnfzfu n spntnl, fstf f,pus pfrmnnfnt !nnrnnnlur nnmncntunrf n nfgntn!f, cnnf .nfn/ .sngflf/ nnnmnlflur df f,pfrnfn, pfntru cnnf df!nnf suffrnnn u nurmnlntntf, cum puntf ncfln s df!nn sfntnmfntnl n s-n nrntf drngustfn( Nntrfnn-tf mnn nnnf cum fstf pusnnnl, c f,nst nc ntt df muln, cnrf nu mfrs prnn ncfnst munr n nu lf sunt strnnf cu!nntflf drngustf n n utur, cnrf put s snmt n ln tutul cf trfnunf s fnc, !d nc ntrfgul um n fnn lur. 0n fn n prnmnt *umnfzfu df n u lucunn, chnnr dnc fn dfsfurn nu tnu ncfst lucru. "f cust ncum mult curn df snnf, s tf nturcn nnpun n curpul tu n s nccfpn cunsultnnnlf ncflfn durfrunsf, fu tnu ncfst lucru! *nr s nu tf mnn nturcn nnpun, nr nsfmnn ln ffl cn n u snnucndfrf. "u nn nflfs ncum, c durfrfn n suffrnnn nu fstf nncnudnt fr sfns. Flf chnnunfsc curpul ntr-ndf!r, dnr punrt tutun ntutfnunn un mfsn . *f unncfn sun nn- Nntunrcf-tf! "u tf nfln pf drumul grfnt! nnf-tf dup urdnnfn drfnpt n lun *umnfzfu, n f-n grn n rffrntunrf ln !nlurnlf spnrntunlf! )nnf !rfn s-n nghfsunf spnrntul n mntfrnn strmt, cnnf l furfnz, s sf ucupf df sntnsfncfrnlf trupftn, cnnf n nlfgf nlnmfntflf dunr dup gustul su, cnnf n rpftf spnrntulun su lnnfrtntfn prnn dfpfndfnf, ncfln nu nrf !unf s sf mnrf c spnrntul su suffr. Nunln n suffrnnn sunt un strngt df n utur nl spnrntulun n n!frtnzfnz umul, cn fl s sf ntunrc. "nnlftflf n npnrntflf nu put !nndfcn, dn - flf nncn mcnr nu nu !unf! %fnsul !nfnn nu fstf, s trfcn prnn tuntf cu un curp sntus. "rfnunf s ! dfn mnn mult ucnznn, s prugrfsnn spnrntunl, s ! dfschndfn drngustfn. Nculu undf dumnn urn, suprnrfn, cfnrtn, nfmulumnrfn n nn!ndnn, nu puntf s rmn un curp sntus. Ncfstf !nnrnnn ndncn n nfgntn!f schnmn n nn ffl !nnrnnnlf pruprnn nlf curpulun, c ncfstn sf mnuln!ftf. Nu fstf u pfdfnps, cn un strngt df n utur- )f!n nu fstf n rfgul! *unr schnmnnrfn gndnrnn, ntunrcfrfn, l puntf nsntun dnn nuu. "nnlftflf put s nmflnurfzf, dnr flf nu put s !nndfcf! )nnf sf lns .mncnt/ df frncn sn, ncfln s fnf mulumnt, ntuncn cnd nunln l n!frtnzfnz n !rfn s-n spun- "u nu ftn curpul tu, tu ftn spnrntul tu, nu-n fncf grn n df curpul tu! % nu-n fnf tfnm dnn cnuzn lun, flf fstf fr nncn u nmpurtnn! Nndrfnpt-n duhul sprf

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*umnfzfu, n tfnmn sf !n f!npurn, dfunrfcf nu !n mnn fn nfcfsnr! *unr trfnunf nflfs ncfst mfsn ! "rfnunf s !rfn s-l nflfgn! Nunln nu fstf nncnudnt dnn grffnl, fn nu fstf pru!ucnt df nnctfrnn n !nrun. Nuln nnffcnunsf n lu!ftf rnrfurn pf unnn. F,nst sufncnfnn unmfnn, cnrf nu suprn!nfunt lfprfn n cnumnn, cu tuntf c n-nu n utnt pf cfn nulnn!n, fr n fn ntr-un ffl prutf nn! *rngustfn fstf un scut sufncnfnt. )ffn cf dfclnnfnz nunln fstf pruprnn cumpurtnrf grfnt, nclcnrfn urdnnnn dumnfzfnftn. *f nnnn ntuncn df!nnf pruspfr tfrfnul pfntru nnctfrnn n !nrun. *nr dnn pcntf mn urntntfn nu pnfrdut ncfnst lfgtur. Fn nncn mcnr nu mnn sunt cnpnnnln, s rfcununsc sfmnflf cflf mnn f!ndfntf. %N*N fstf unul dnntrf ncfstf sfmnf. Fnfcnrf tnf, c, df rfgul, sf puntf mnuln!n lumfn df fn dunr ntuncn, dnc n dnu fru lnnfr durnnffn trupftn, n sf,unlntntf dfplnsnt snu n dfpfndfnn df drugurn. n n luc s nlturf mutn!flf, s sf ntunrc nnpun n urdnnfn dumnfzfnnsc, sf cnut pusnnnlntn, s duc drumul mnn dfpnrtf n cu tut fflul df mn luncf n flfmfntf df sngurnn s scnpf df nn znsn .pfdfnps/. *nc nr fn ncfnstn u pfdfnps, ntuncn nu nm putfn fn df ncurd, dnr nm putfn s nflfgfm. )cn sf puntf uculn u pfdfnps, dnc unnn nfnrm cu !ucfn tnrf, c sunt ntt df nntflngfnn. *nr pfdfpsf nu f,nst! Fstf dunr u urmnrf n trnnulun df !nn grfnt. n ncfnstn nu sf !n putfn uculn df ffl. *nr cfl trznu ntuncn, cnd tuntf nfnrnlf sunt nfundntf, cfl trznu ntuncn fn !ur unsfr!n, c f,nst un drum mnn snmplu, cnrf cunducf tut tnmpul sprf succfs- s sf ntunrc n s rfcununsc dnn nuu urdnnfn dumnfzfnnsc. )um puntf !nndfcn un ductur u nunl dnc nu-n cununtf cnuzn( Fstf npru,nmntn! nn, cn n cum cnnf!n nr ncfnrcn s f,tfrmnnf u crtn , prnn fnptul c n dnstrugf muurunul. Mnnf n !n dn dnn nuu ucnznn s-u fnc. *nc nstzn .!nndfcn/ stumncul, mnnf !n fn nffctnt nnnmn, snu nntfstnnul, snu ...! "u pun dnstrugf urnctf muurunnf !rfn, sf !ur nfnnnn tut tnmpul nltflf. Nncftfnz dunr ntuncn, cnd crtnn fstf prnns. *f ncffn !nndfc-n spnrntul! n ntuncn tu nu mnn trfnunf s-n fncn grn n dnn prncnnn trupulun! )hnnr n muln dnntrf cfn cf !nndfc spnrntul mfrg drumul grfnt. *nc n lnn pf ncftn nrlntnnn dfupnrtf, ntuncn muln sf lnmntfnz s !nndfcf cu duhul curpul. *unr punnn sunt n stnrf, s nlturf cnuzflf spnrntunlf. *unr ncfst lucru cunducf sprf u !nndfcnrf pfrmnnfnt. *nc cfrf unul muln nnnn pfntru muncn sn, ntuncn tu pun s fn sngur, c nu nrf putfrfn dumnfzfnnsc, cu cnrf fl tf !nndfc. *nrurn spnrntunlf nu sf put !nndf. *umnfzfu nu sf lns pltnt n unfltflf snlf nncn ntt. Ncfst lucru fstf !nlnnnl pfntru tuntf dnrurnlf spnrntunlf. *nc cnnf!n n prnmnt df ln *umnfzfu hnrul, cn fl s punt !fdfn snu s snmt n !nntur, ntuncn ncfstn l !n drun, ndnc l !n dn dunr cn s sf punt ntrfnnf. Nnnnn sunt cfn mnn nun n cfn mnn ffncnfnt dfscupfrnrf n dnn!ululun, n cnnf sf unc cu fucul, nu nrf !unf s sf mnnunfzf, dnc sf nrdf dnn grffnl ln dfgftf. )t df punnn sunt cnpnnnln, s gsfnsc cnuzn n s !nndfcf ntr-ndf!r duhul! Muln cnrf !nndfc duhul, ct n ductrurn, nfnrm c fn put !nndfcn nnsulut tutul. Mulumnt *umnulun nu sunt fn cnpnnnln df ncfnstn! Fn nr lun ntuncn umulun ultnmn nns, cnrf n-nr furn ntunrcfrfn. &fntru muln n fust nunln lur mutn!ul, prnn cnrf fn nu rfnunnt ln tut cf fstf mntfrnnl n s-nu ndrfptnt sprf *umnfzfu. %nu cf s-nr fn ntmplnt, dnc Nnnndn 2nmn tf-nr fn !nndfcnt( Fl n-nr fn lunt cf!n! *funrfcf pfntru tnnf fstf nmpurtnnt ncfnstn/nunl/, dn /fstf !ntnl/. Fn n df!fnnt cfl mnn nun prnftfn nl tu. Fr ncfnst nunl nu nn fn n!ut nnsn, s tf dfz!uln mnn dfpnrtf. *nstrncnnlf, grnnn n lfnfn tf-nr fn cuprnns n n-nr fn nlucnt drumul spnrntunl. n fr ucnznn df n n!n umnlnnn, drngustfn n rndnrfn, nu tf-nn nfln tu nstzn nncn. %nu unt-tf ln cfnlnn hnndncnpnn, pf cnrf tu n cunutn df n. &fntru tun fstf nmpurtnnt .nunln/ lur, fn n nrf rustul fn! *n - fnfcnrf dnntrf nun putfn s fnf mulumnt pfntru nunln sn, cnrf uffrfn spnrntulun mn luncflf cn fl s sf dfz!ultf n s n!ff, cffn cf un .um sntus/ n!n dunr funrtf grfu. Fstf u trfnpt df dfz!ultnrf. )um un fluturf trfnunf s fnf ntn u umnd, pfntru cn s sf punt dfz!ultn, nn npnrf n n dfz!ultnrfn umulun un punct, undf u nunl fncf pusnnnlf f,pfrnfnf, cnrf nltffl nu sf put fncf. &fntru unul sntus, cnrf nu !rfn, s sf untf n spntflf lucrurnlur, put s sunf ncfstf cu!nntf punn cnudntf. *nr spnrntul st pfstf tuntf. 3 Mntthnns nrf df nnnn cnncn nnn, n fstf pnrnlnznt spnstnc n surdu-mut. Ntuncn cnd fl n !fnnt ln nun, mn s-n .prfzfntnt/ mnf nn- Nm n!nt s n ut. Fstf cf!n frumus, cf!n sntnsfctur. Fstf nnnf, dnc pun n utn pf cnnf!n. Ncum trfnunf s n!, cn fu s m lns n utnt. Ncfst lucru fstf cu mult mnn grfu. 0n ncflnn tnmp put s lf dnu nlturn pusnnnlntntfn s n utf. *n, s tf lnn n utnt, fstf cu mult mnn grfu, dfct s n un. *nr fnfcnrf, cnrf !rfn s n utf, nrf nf!unf df cnnf!n, cnrf fstf prfgtnt, s sf lnsf n utnt. n f,nct ncfstn fstf mutn!ul n multur nuln. &rnnnn lun nu nu !rut s fnf n prfn mn lur u nstffl .df pucntnnnf/. &n ncum s-n ucupnt nunncn sn cu mult drngustf df fl, n-n dnt cldurn nfcfsnr unun um cu hnndncnp, cu tuntf c fn frn funrtf grn! nulnn! n df nnnn mnn putfn s mfnrg. %nu puntf c chnnr dnn ncfst mutn!( *f ln Mnchnfl tnnm, c u nstffl df lfgtur, cum nu cunstrunt-u fn dun, !n nnf pf !fcn. Nncn u furtun nu u !n putfn rupf !rfudnt. Ncfstfn sunt fructflf spnrntulun, pf cnrf nun trfnunf s lf ndunm nncn, pfntru n putfn trn dnnculu cu flf. Nnnn nu n putut pn ncum s nn nnmfnn cu fl. *nr ncum n n!ut !unf nunncn lun s prsfnsc ncfst pmnt. Nn n n uns Mntthnns ln nun. %pnrntul su frn mnn lnnfr dfct ln cfnlnln. Fu putfnm s m .nflfg/ nnnf cu fl, chnnr n ntuncn cnd fl frn trfnz. *uhul multur unmfnn cu hnndncnp nu fstf nn df strns lfgnt df curp, cn n ln unmfnnn .nurmnln/. Ncfstn fstf n mutn!ul, c muln dnntrf fn nu snmt nn df tnrf durfrfn, cn n unmfnnn .nurmnln/. %pnrntul lur fstf mnn

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dnstnnnnt, fl nu trfnunf s sf ndfntnfncf cu curpul, dfunrfcf durnnflf lumftn, mntfrnnlul, grnnn n strfsul nu l unlng. Ncfstfn sunt unflf dnn ncflf .drfpturn/ pf cnrf un um cu hnndncnp lf nrf. *nr pf df nlt pnrtf fn supurt multf lucrurn. &fntru snnf, pfntru n nnnntn u nucnt pf drumul lur grfu, dnr n pfntru nlnn, cn s lf dfn ucnznn cn s n utf n s lf dfschnd uchnn cu mfsn ul lur mutNu curpul fstf cffn cf !nlurfnz, fl fstf nmpfrffct n trfctur, nmpurtnnt fstf s pun trfcf pfstf fl. *unr duhul rmnf pf !fcn, nmpurtnnt fstf s-l lnn s crfnsc!

3 Nnrn nm pnt nlturn df Mnchnfl drumul strmt df pdurf n us, pf lng cnscndn df np, sprf mncul lnc, lng cnrf sttfnm nun dfsfurn. &fntru prnmn unr nm unsfr!nt, c flurnlf frnu ntutdfnunn nflurntf, pumnn n!fnu ntutdfnunn fructf, frn tut tnmpul plcut n cnld, tutul frn mnnunnt, fr cn fu s fn unsfr!nt !rfudnt c pluun. Ntuncn cnd fu m-nm gndnt funrtf nnnf ln ntrfnnrf, pfntru cn fu s nu m nlnmfz prfn tnrf, n ncfput Mnchnfl s-mn zmnfnsc. Nu f,nst nnrn ln *umnfzfu. "utul fstf plnn df !nn. Nntutdfnunn! Nnmnc nu fstf trfctur, nnmnc nu sf puntf ufnln. "utul fstf ntutfnunn n flunrfn !nfnn. &lunnn, sunrflf n hrnnn fstf nfcfsnr dunr pfntru lumfn mntfrnnl. $umfn spnrntunl fstf 7rnstus ntru tutul. &utfrfn %n ptrundf n tutul, df ln Fl trnftf tut cf fstf. %urn Gnrcnn nr putfn s-n pu!fstfnsc ctf cf!n. ' mn m-n ntnns uur pf umr. Fu m-nm nturs. 'n ngfr tnr sttfn n fnn mfn. %urn Gnrcnn, cum nn n uns nncn! Fn n ncfput s zmnfnsc. Ncfst lucru tf-n putfn ntrfnn n fu pf tnnf. *n, ncfst lucru frn ndf!rnt. Mnchnfl, df mult nm !rut fu s tf ntrfn cf!n. Fu cunusc ncum ctf!n fflurn df nuln. %fnsul lur, pusnnnlntnlf lur. *nr cf sfns n n!ut suffrnnn surfn Gnrcnn( Fn n n uns nn df dfpnrtf n lfgturn fn cu *umnfzfu, c nu n mnn n!ut nf!unf df nunl, pfntru n gsn drumul cfl nun. *n, ncfst lucru fstf ndf!rnt! $n *umnfzfu f,nst mnn multf pusnnnlntn, n ncfnstn fstf unn dnntrf flf. Fu nm n!ut !unf s sufr, drng Nnrnnrn. N fust u mnlustn!nrf dnn pnrtfn lun *umnfzfu. Nu pfntru mnnf nm rndnt fu, cn pfntru nlnn. Nn cum Nnsus n suffrnt n mnrf pfntru nun tun, nn nm n!ut fu !unf s sufr punn pfntru cn!n. n nu sunt chnnr ntt df punnn, cnrf sf rung pfntru ncfnst mnl n u n prnmfsc. %fcrftus s-n untnt fn ln Mnchnfl. Ncfstn n dnt nfnrmntn! dnn cnp. n tu ftn unn dnntrf ncfnn. Fu( *n! Nncn tu nu mnn nn nf!unf df durfrnlf tnlf pfntru dfz!ultnrfn tn. *nr tu lf supurn n lnnntf n cu df!utnmfnt. F,nct ncfnstn fstf, cf fu nm !rut s spun. *nr cum fstf pusnnnl( Fnfcnrf trfnunf s-n mfnrg pruprnul drum. Nu puntf s n sf sucutfnsc lun mfrntflf nlturn. Ncfst lucru nr nlturn dunr !unnn sn lnnfr. Fstf unul dnntrf sfcrftflf lun *umnfzfu, cnrf fstf funrtf grfu df nflfs. Nncn fu nu sunt n stnrf, s nflfg ncfnstn ntru tutul. )hnnr n cflf mnn nnltf duhurn nu tnu tutul. *uhurnlf crfsc tut tnmpul n nflfpcnunfn lur, n nfmrgnnntn nflfpcnunf n lun *umnfzfu fstf sufncnfnt pfntru !fcnn !fcnlur. *nr cffn, cf fn nu nflfg, ncffn nccfpt fn umnln n crfdnncnun. &rnn ncfnstn sf dnffrfnnnz fn fnurm df mult f df !un unmfnnn. Fn tnu, c put s nnn ncrfdfrf n *umnfzfu, c sf put nnzn pf Fl. *umnfzfu n-n pus nc nncnudnt !rfunn dnntrf lfgnlf %nlf n nfnrn !nlnnnlntnn, n Fl nncn nu !n fncf ncfnstn !rfudnt, nncn cfn mnn nfnsfmnnt. *fsngur nr fn Fl n stnrf df ncfst lucru, n dfsngur nr putfn Fl cu ncfnstn s grnfnsc funrtf nmfns dfz!ultnrfn fpturnn. *nr Fl nu fncf. Fl n crfnt pfntru fpturn %n lfgn clnrf n drfptf, n Fl sf nnf df ncfstfn. *nc nr fncf Fl u dnt u f,cfpnf, nncnudnt nnrn nu s-nr putfn nnzn fpturnlf $un pf dfplnn pf Fl. tnn tu ncum, cf nsfnmn n .crfdf/( "u pun dfcn s fnn pf dfplnn sngur, c Fl tnf s fulusfnsc rugcnunfn n suffrnnn, cnrf sunt frtfntf pfntru nlnn, n nn ffl, nct s fnf plnnf df n utur, fr n punf !unnn lnnfr n nfnrn !nlnnnlntnn. Nn ncrfdfrf n Fl! Fu frnm ffrncnt. 7nndncnpul mfu, ncfstn frn nmpurtnnt n nfcfsnr pfntru mnnf. Ncfst lucru l tnnm nnnf. *nr durfrnlf, cnrf nu df!fnnt n ultnmul tnmp tut mnn putfrnncf, m-nu chnununt cu dunnn. &fntru c fu nu putfnm nflfgf sfnsul lur, lf-nm cunsndfrnt n sfcrft df n cn fnnnd fr sfns. ', ct df nfncrfzturn suntfm nun tutun! Nndnr, dfunrfcf fu tnnm, c flf lf sfr!fnu nlturn cn n utur, m nucurnm fu dnn ncfnst cnuz. 0n ultnmul tnmp nm n!ut fu !unf s lf ncurd ctur!n n utur n nm putut s schnmn unflf lucrurn n mprf urnmfn mfn. Ntrnfn ndmnnnstrntunrf n-nm ndfprtnt pu!nrn fn. Fu trfnunn, cf-n drfpt, s m ucup fnfcnrf zn dnn nuu df ncfnstn, pfntru c fn nu frn nncn pf dfpnrtf ndfn uns df putfrnnc, s rfznstf ln ntncurnlf umnrflur. *nr fn fcfn ncuntnnuu prugrfsf mncn. Fn df!fnnsf mnn prnftfnuns, gntn s dfn n utur, cnd sf rugn, frn fn n n nntfrnur pnrtncnpnnt ln ncfnstn. Funrtf ncft, nprunpf nfunsfr!nt cunstrunsf fn un cmp n urul fn, cnrf nu mnn lsn nn uur s !nn ln suprnfn sfntnmfntf n gndurn nfgntn!f. Fn nu tnn mutn!ul, dnr fn ngn df sfnm, c frn cf!n df fn, cf n fcfn trfnnn mnn uunr. Ntuncn s-n trfznt nnnflf dnn fn, n fn lucrn cu tunt furn n cffn cf prn!fn pfrsunnn fn. "rfnnn n cffn cf prn!ftf pfrsunnn pruprnf, ncfnstn n-u puntf prflun nnmfnn df ln tnnf, ccn, nltffl, s-nr fn spus tutun cu !unnn lnnfr. Nntr-ndf!r sunt dfsfurn pnfdncn prfzfntf, cnrf pnr df nftrfcut. Nns, df ndnt cf ncfpf muncn n cffn cf prn!ftf pfrsunnn pruprnf, df ndnt cf fstf nntfprnns ncfrcnrfn sfrnuns, s tf

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schnmnn, s dnn sfntnmfntflf n gndurnlf nfgntn!f pruprnn n schnmnul drngustfn n pfntru Nnsus 7rnstus, ntuncn n fstf cnnf!n df fn, cnrf nlung pnfdncnlf dnn cnlf. &runnnnl nu mnnf, prunnnnl nncn pun-mnnf. )tfudnt !n fn nfcfsnr, s rfzntn mult tnmp, pfntru c n !unnn n rndnrfn !ur s fnf nntrfnntf. Nnmfnn nu lf puntf prnmn cn cnduu. &unrtn df ln nchnsunrf, pf ncffn u !ur dfschndf nlnn, dnc u zgudunftn dfstul df mult tnmp. *nr dus nfnr nu !fn fn, trfnunf s mfrgn tutun snngur. 3 n FrDnn fcusf prugrfsf nmfnsf. Fl frn numnn uur hnndncnpnt curpurnl, suffrfn ns df u schnzufrfnnf prununnt, df ln nl trfnlfn nn df !nn nl su. Ncfnst dfspncnrf n pfrsunnlntnn frn nn df putfrnnc, c fl trfnunn mfrfu s nn mfdncnmfntf df lnnntnrf. &rnn ncfnstn df!fnfn fl ns nn df rfdus, c nu mnn frn n stnrf, s-n fulusfnsc mnntfn, s nn dfcnznn df unul snngur. Fl df!fnnsf un scln!. 0n stnrfn nurmnl frn fl un nnnt drgu, cnrf fcfn tutul pfntru nltcnnf!n. )nd n!fn crnzflf lun, frn fl Nnpulfun. Fnfcnrf frn dumnnul lun, n fl ntncn cu tuntf, cf n frnu ln ndfmn. Fnn lun, nfnnrfn lun, nn chnnr ntrfngn lun fnnn sf schnmnn df fnfcnrf dnt pf dfplnn. )hnnr n lnmnn sunn nltffl. )nd nm !zut fu pfntru prnmn dnt, cffn cf sf ntmpln nncn, nu !runnm s crfd ncfnstn. &rfn fnntnstnc frn cffn, cf !zusfm fu. Nncn nu mn-n fust lnmpfdf lfgturn lugnc. Nstffl, l-nm rugnt pf Mnchnfl dup un sfnt. "u nn !zut tutun curfct, mn rspunsf fl. %unt ntr-ndf!r duu duhurn, cnrf sf cfnrt pfntru trupul lun. *uhul nnntulun n un nltul, cnrf rfunsf, s sf trnnspun nn df tnrf n curp, c nnntul nu mnn puntf scpn df fl dnn putfrfn pruprnf. $n ncfnstn n nnu mfdncnmfntflf, pf cnrf trfnunf s lf nn mfrfu, nc n ultnmn nns df rfunt. *nr - cum fstf ncfnstn pusnnnl( &rnn nnumntf ntmplrn nmpurtnntf puntf duhul s sf ndfprtfzf funrtf dfpnrtf df trup. *nc ntuncn un nlt duh sf fncf n ncfst tnmp stpn pf trupul lun, puntf s sf ntmplf, c, ln rfnturcfrfn lun, fl nu mnn puntf s scnpf df unspftflf nfpuftnt. &rfdumnn ntuncn u lupt cuntnnu ntrf cfn dun. )nd unul ctng, ntuncn fl stnpnftf pfstf trup. )nd cfllnlt ctng pfntru un tnmp suprfmnnn, ntuncn trfnunf trupul s-l nscultf. *funrfcf tutun n rflnffflf curpurnlf sunt dfpfndfntf df duh, sf schnmn ntuncn ndfsfn n ntrfngn nfnnrf df nspfct n ncfstun um rfgrftnnnl. Numnn c nncn fstf sntunnn cn n ln tuntf- cffn cf nu !fzn, ncffn nncn nu crfzn. ' mnrf pnrtf dnntrf ncfnn, cnrf n duc f,nstfnn lur nlnnc prnn snnnturnnlf psnhnntrncf, fncf pnrtf dnntrf ncftnn. *fspncnrf n pfrsunnlntnn u numfsc psnhulugnn. Fn nncn mcnr nu tnu, ct df mult drfptntf nu fn cu ncfst cu!nt. F,nst n cnzurn, undf sf stnnnlnfsc duhul snu duhurnlf nn df putfrnnc n trup, c stpnul df drfpt nu mnn puntf nnsulut df luc s !nn nnpun. Nncn ncfnstn nu fstf nn df rnr. *nc duhul prsftf nncuntnfnt trupul, dfcn n sumn, nu sf puntf ntmpln nnmnc. "rupul fstf pznt cn un rfgf. Ncfnstn fstf unn dnntrf snrcnnnlf nunstrf. n nun suntfm df ncrfdfrf! *nc ns duhul sf dfprtfnz cuntnfnt df trup, ntuncn trfnunf n un nct cuntnfnt s-l prutf fzf! Ncfnstn fstf u lfgf n fstf n lfgtur cu dfcnznn lnnfr n !unnfn. *f ncffn fstf ntt df nmpurtnnt, cn tu s tf ngrn ftn df u prutfcnf nnnntf df fnfcnrf mfdntnnf- prnn rugcnunf n prnn crucfn df lumnn! F,nst n nltf pusnnnlntn, cnrf lf utnlnzfnz mnn nlfs !r nturnn df mngnf nfngr. Ncfstf duu sunt ns cflf mnn putfrnncf, n tu tf pun ntutdfnunn n pf dfplnn ncrfdf n ncfstfn. Muln nn numnn mfdnumn nu pltnt df n cu .pnfrdfrfn/ trupulun lur ncfnst nfgln nrf n mrfnn lur pruprnf snu n nfsucutnnn lur. +nnn, pf cnrf u punrt ntuncn cn .nfnunn/, nncn mcnr nu mnn mfrnt ncfst numf. Fstf u munrtf !nf, pf cnrf u suffr. Fu !rfnu s-n nrt, cnrf n fust ln FrDnn mutn!ul. 0n succfsnunn rnpndf nm !zut fu ntuncn nmngnnn dnn cupnlrnn lun. "ntl su n czut prnd nlcululun. Nntutdfnunn, cnd fl nfn, ntfn ntrfngn lun fnmnlnf, n pf mncuul FrDnn. *f duu urn fusfsf fl df n n spntnl dnn ncfnst cnuz, ln un nn n umtntf n ln dun nnn. &rnmn unr fusfsf fl prfsrnt df sus pn us cu !ntn# fl nr fn czut us pf scrn, sf spunfn. N duun unr n!usfsf fl rupt mnn - u cdfrf ln unc pf strnd. Ntuncn cnd fl cu cfn nprunpf trfn nnn nn sn fcfn n pnt nunptfn, s-n pnfrdut tntl su pf dfplnn cu fnrfn. Fl l-n ngnt n cndn df nnnf n npn rfcf n l-n nnut nn df mult sun np, pn cf df!fnnsf fl nncuntnfnt. Ntuncn s-n ntmplnt ncfnstn. *uhul su nu putusf suffrn ncfst uc n sf dfprtnsf dnntr-u dnt funrtf dfpnrtf df trup. Nndnr - unn dnntrf multflf umnrf, pf cnrf tntl su lf purtn mfrfu cu fl, s-n fcut df ndnt stpn pf trupul su. $un FrDnn n-n rfunt, cf-n drfpt, nc rfntunrcfrfn, dnr fl nu mnn frn snngur. Nncn urm df cnn n-n nrtnt tntl su. n ntnlf lf putfn fl ncupfrn. FrDnn n n uns ntr-u cns df cupnn, n cnzul n fust nchfnnt. )nncn sutf df mnn df cupnn sunt fnfcnrf nn mnltrntnn numnn n Gfrmnnnn, mn spusf Mnchnfl. *nntrf ncftnn trfnunf pfstf u sut df mnn ngrn nn stnnunnr n spntnl. Nns cflf mnn multf cnzurn sunt munmnlnzntf n sunt dntf drfpt nccndfntf. n ntuncn sunt unmfnn, cnrf nc l mnn numfsc pf dnn!ul u nfnnrf dnn pu!ftn ! ' nfnnrf dnn pu!fstf funrtf !nf, mn pnrf mnf. Nntrfntunrf nm prn!nt ln Mnchnfl# fl ddfn numnn dnn cnp, n df ntuncn m-nm ucupnt fnfcnrf zn nntfnsn! df FrDnn. Fu ncfrcnm s-l mnulzfsc n nfnr pf dumnnul lun, l-nm .mprucnt/ cu crucn df lumnn n nm n!ut succfs funrtf rfpfdf. *f n prnmn dnt n pnfrdut fl df ndnt stpnnrfn nsuprn trupulun. Fl df!fnfn !nznnnl tut mnn mult fr !lng. Nmputrn!nrfn lun pfrnudnc frn numnn u ntlnf df rftrngfrf. &unnf sptmnn dup ncffn s-n s!rnt. &f dfplnn ustfnnt trfnunn fl s sf rftrng. $umnnn n!nngf ntutdfnunn, mn spusf Mnchnfl, chnnr dnc ctfudnt durfnz mult, chnnr dnc ctfudnt sf rftrngf pf dfplnn, pfntru n n!fn ntuncn un cu ntt mnn mnrf succfs cu un ntnc prnn surprnndfrf.

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% spfrm, c fn sf ntunrcf ncun nnrn nnpun n ncfnst lumf! FrDnn n urncf cnz frn !nndfcnt. Nunlf mfdncnmftf n-nu fcut fffctul funrtf rfpfdf, frnu df prfrf ducturnn. &fntru sngurnn nr trfnun fl s lf mnn nn nc cn!n nnn, cn u rfcndn! s punt fn nlturnt. *nr nfgln fnn n dfzurdnnf nu sunt ntutdfnunn nfgntn!f. 0n ncfst cnz n-nu fcut lun FrDnn pusnnnl, s duc ncun u !nn dfstul df nurmnl. 7nndncnpul lun curpurnl uur nu nffn mnn dfpnrtf n f!ndfn. Fu frnm pfstf msur df nucuruns, numnn ntrfnnrfn *f cf m mnn prfucupn. ) nu f,nst cunncndfn, tnu fu, n c nu frn u pfdfnps, n pf ncfnstn u tnnm. )nd nf-n prnsnt FrDnn - fl mplnnnsf ntuncn !rstn df upstsprfzfcf nnn n putfn nnnf s sf nn pf cunt pruprnu - nm !zut fu dnntr-u dnt un nrnnt n fnn mfn, cnrf ndfmnn un prnftfn ln nut ntr-u rund !fsfl. Mfrfu dnn nuu fl l prflucrn, l numfn un slnnnug n um fr !unn, cu tuntf c tnn, c ncfst nrnnt tnr nu putfn supurtn nlculul. Mfrfu nnrn n!fn fl succfs n sf nucurn rfgftf, cnd ncfstn frn ntuncn nfnt. *nr n-n durnt mult tnmp, n fl dfczusf pf dfplnn prnd nlcululun, n fust rfspnns df fnmnlnn lun n n murnt cn!n nnn mnn trznu n mnzfrnf. Nntr-ndf!r n prfn n sfcrft ncum ru ncfstun um df grffnln lun. 0n f,tfrnur nffn fl ns prnn ncffn dnn nncurctur, c fnfcnrf nr trfnun dunr dfsngur snngur s tnf, cf fncf fl. &fstf un nunstr df ln nntrnrf sf nfl u nnscrnpnf mnrf. &f ncffn st scrns- &utfcn nturtuchnntf, umnrf n lumnn, tuntf sunt mnl, nu tf nfrncun. *nc FrDnn n nflfs ntr-ndf!r ncfnstn( &f muln nm n!ut fu !unf s-n n ut. Nntutdfnunn ncnunnm nsuprn duhulun lur, n-nm flnnfrnt df umnrflf lur, lfnm nntrudus gndurn, cn s punt gsn cnlfn cfn curfct. Ncfnn, cnrf frnu dnspun sprf n fncf ncfst lucru, nu pnt pf ncfnst cnlf cu nucurnf. Nulnlf lur nu dnsprut snngurf, dup cf mutn!ul ncfsturn, schnmnnrfn grfnt n trnrnn !nfnn, fusfsf nlturnt. Nns frnu n muln cnrf nu frnu n stnrf df ncfnstn. Fn snmfnu ntr-ndf!r uurnrfn, nu !runnu ns s sf ustfnfnsc. Fn frnu prfn lfnfn, pfntru n-n schnmnn unncfnurnlf, fn frnu prfn slnnn, pfntru n sf rfdrfsn n s-n dfn !nfnn lur u nlt dnrfcnf. 'ndf fstf u !unn, nculu fstf n u cnlf. *nr dnc !unnn lnpsftf, sf !n nstupn n cnlfn nnrn. 7 Nnrnn fusfsf frnguruns n ndr nt, dnr ncum s-n fcut prnm!nr. %unrflf strlucfn nc punn cnm tnmnd, !ntul frn nc punn cnm rcurus, dnr psrnlf cnrnpfnu nn df tnrf n !fsflf, n ntrfngn nntur prfn s sf nucurf cu flf nsuprn pntflun. &fntru prnmn dnt n ncfst nn nm n!ut nun !unf s fnm nfnr, nfnr dnn culn!nn, cu cnrf sf nchndf u umfnnrf nftnutunrf fn df nntur. Nun, pfrsunnflf cu hnndncnp, suntfm tutun mult mnn putfrnnc lfgnn df nntur. &f df-u pnrtf fstf duhul nustru mult mnn lnnfr, nu fstf nn df tnrf lfgnt df curp, n, n nl dunlfn rnd, nu fstf fl nlucnt df ctrf .strfsul znlnnc/. Nmnduu nu grn , cn nun s putfm snmn nnturn mult mnn nprunpf df nun. ' pfrsunn cu hnndncnp puntf df rfgul s sf nntruduc cu snmnrfn mult mnn nnnf n nntur. Fl sf snmtf c npnrnnf df nntur, snmtf ncffnn pru!fnnfn n nnturnn n n umulun- *umnfzfu! Fl puntf !urnn cu psrnlf, puntf nflfgf lnmnn pnsncnn, fl puntf pumulun s-n dfstnnunf nnnmn n tnf, c ncfstn l !n nflfgf. Multf crfnz duhul n nscuns, cffn cf .umul curpurnl/ nu puntf cuprnndf cu cflf cnncn snmurn nlf snlf. Frn cfl mnn frumus, s nm !unf s m .duc ln plnmnnrf/ prnn pnrc. )nd !rfmfn frn fn!urnnnl, frn mnmn df fnfcnrf dnt nfnr cu mnnf n m mpnngfn n scnunul cu rutnlf sun pumn, df-n lungul cmpnnlur n!frzntf n n gnrdulun nnnf-mnrusntur. Fu nu mn-n fncf nttfn ustfnfln, fn tutun nu nrf nncn un ctng df ln ncfst lucru, nn spus udnt cnnf!n mnmfn mflf. Ncfnstn nu fstf curfct! Nu cu pncnunrflf, nu cu un trup sntus, nn nncn chnnr cu u mnntf sntuns nu sf snmtf nntfns nnturn. *uhul snngur fstf n stnrf df ncfnstn. Numnn c - pf ncfln nu-l !fzn. )t df multf nu s nf spun pumnn! "cun stnu fn nculu. Nn df nn n ncflnn luc. Fn nu sunt u mntfrnf munrt. 'n pum trnftf. n cum! Fl fstf un urnn plnn df fnfrgnf, un ndf!rnt .pnchft df fnfrgnf/. $n un pum pun s tf umpln df fnfrgnf, n fl fstf cu drng dnspus ln ncfnstn, dnc l rugn pfntru nn cf!n. 'n pum nu fstf murt. Fl puntf snmn! Nltffl dfct nun, dnr tut nn df nntfnsn!. 'n pum snmtf durfrf, dnc n sf prncnnunftf pngun, dnc n dfcu ftn scunrn df f,fmplu snu dnc n tnn rnmurnlf. %trmunn nutrn tnnu nc ncfnstn. &rufnnnrfn df pumn frn funrtf sf!fr pfdfpsnt. )u sngurnn nu dnn cruznmf, cn dnn tfmflnn ncfstfn cununtfrn. .&umul mfu/, ncfln frn u znd mnrf, mrfn nprunpf df prul mnc. *f sfculf sf nfln fn n ncflnn luc, tcut n df!utnt. 'n f,fmplu df mudfl pfntru smfrfnnf n rndnrf. )t df mult nm putfn nun n!n df ln pumn, dnc nun nf-nm lun tnmp sprf ncfst lucru! *nc tf prfgtftn suflftftf nsuprn unun pum snu n unfn plnntf, pun snmn uscnlnnnlf, cnrf sf rspndfsc df ln ncfstfn. &un s fncn schnmn sf sfntnmfntf f,nct nn cn n cu un um. 'm pum puntf s-n fnf un prnftfn. Fl fstf u fptur n lun *umnfzfu cn nun, nscut dnn drngustfn $un. )flf cnncn snmurn nlf nunstrf nu pfrmnt ncfnst rfcunutfrf. ' pfrsunn cu hnndncnp ns, n crun duh prnmftf mnn mult spnnu lnnfr prnn tulnurnrfn snmurnlur, puntf ndfsfn s !nd n spntflf ncfstur lucrurn n sf snmtf nnstnnctn! lfgnt df nntur. %urn Mngdnlfnn trfnunn s fnn tnut df ncfst lucru. Fn lun mult ustfnfnl nsuprn fn, pfntru n nf ducf nfnr nn df dfs pf ct frn pusnnnl. Fn rfunsf, cn nun s n n!fm !unf u dnt s cununtfm cu un nutunuz mprf urnmfn nprupnnt. Frn fnfcnrf zn u zn df srntunrf. *fsngur, frn ustfnntur, s mpnngn scnunflf cu rutnlf pfstf crrnlf df pdurf, dnr fu n sunt funrtf mulumntunrf pfntru fnptul, c fn nf-n drunt multf nsfmfnfn urf ffrncntf.

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Mnn nc un lucru n putut s nmpun fn, df un nn df cnd fn n !fnnt ln nun. &n ncum nu nu f,nstnt nnnmnlf. Nu n fust !unf. Fn ns n ndus ctf!n pnsncn, pf cnrf mn urntntfn dnntrf nun lf-nu prnmnt cu mnrf drng, nn c nncn nu mnn putfn fn !urnn df !rfu sfpnrnrf. Nntrf tnmp n!fm df n zfcf pnsncn n trfn cnnn mncn, cnrf sf snmt funrtf nnnf ln nun. &fntru un um hnndncnpnt fstf un nnnmnl u mnrf nnnfcu!ntnrf. )untnnn sn nu cunstrunftf .dnffrfnf df rnng/ n nncn nu trfnunf s du!fdfnsc, c fl fstf ncfln putfrnnc. 'n um cu hnndncnp puntf cu snmurnlf snlf s nnsunrn ntru tutul un nnnmnl. n ntuncn cnd nu mnn f,nst .dnffrfnf df rnng/, ntuncn df!nnf nnnmnlul un prnftfn, ntuncn nrf fnfcnrf fnnnn crfnt df *umnfzfu ncflfnn drfpturn - n tutul, cf fstf n lun *umnfzfu, trnftf. 3 +nnn mfn n fust dnntr-u dnt nn df plnn, df cnd n!fnm !unf s n ut pf nlnn. 0n fnfcnrf zn m nprupnnm df *umnfzfu prnn rugcnunf n mfdntnnf n Fl mn trnmntfn n utur spnrntunl, nculu undf frn nf!unf df fl. Fu nm n!ut !unf s !nndfc snu s nmflnurfz nuln, nm n!ut !unf s dnu curn n nlnnnrf, nm n!ut !unf s nltur dnn drum nnrnfrf, cnrf nu nprut ntrf *umnfzfu n cfn cf cutnu. Fu nm n!ut !unf s n n ut pf muln s scnpf df grfutntfn lur, nm n!ut !unf s-n flnnfrfz df umnrf. *nr n unnn dnn .nmprnn umnrflur/ sf lsnu cundun cu drng. Nu sunt dunr duhurn rflf# dfsfurn sunt n .suflftf srncf/, cnrf nu nu gsnt nc drumul. )n sunt n znun df nstzn cnrf nu mnn crfd ntr-u !nn df dup munrtf! Fn sunt cun!nnn, c sf tfrmnn tutul dup munrtf. Nm putfn fn df prfrfn, c dup munrtf fn sf !ur cun!nngf df cuntrnrnul prunlfmfn. Nncn dnn grffnl! Mnn nlfs ntuncn, cnd fn mur nfntfptnt, nu sunt dfluc prfgtnn, df unncfn nu tnu nncn mcnr, cf s-n ntmplnt df fnpt. &fntru unul cnrf trnftf sun ncfstf cu!nntf funrtf cnudnt. *nr dnc sf punf cnnf!n n ncfnst sntunnf, sf puntf nflfgf*nc unul crfdf, c dup cf n murnt fstf .murt/, ntuncn nu-n trfcf gndul prnn cnp, c fl s-n nflnt, cn fl fstf df prfrfn, c nu n murnt. Fl trntf, n pfntru c dup munrtf ftn .murt/, nu fstf pusnnnl cn fl s fn murnt! Ncfst lucru fstf lugnc dunr, snu nu( Fl unsfr! ntr-ndf!r c cf!n nu fstf n urdnnf, dnr fl nu-n puntf f,plncn ncfnstn. Fl nu fstf undf!n n .lumfn df npun/ nnnf sfpnrnt snu ntr-un luc strnn numnt .purgnturnu/. Fl fstf n cuntnnunrf nculu, f,nct nculu, undf fl n murnt. n fl puntf !fdfn n nuzn tutul, chnnr n mnn nnnf dfct nnnntf. $un n sf pnrf dunr cnudnt, c cfnlnln l .lns dfupnrtf/, c fn nu mnn !urnfsc cu fl. Fu nm !zut muln, cnrf nnu cuntnnunt sfr!ncnul! Fn !fnfnu cum frnu unnnunn ncns pfntru n mncn, durmn n mfrgfnu ln mfcnurnlf df futnnl. Fn nu unsfnr! nncn fnptul, c put dfudnt trfcf prnn zndurn n un nchnsf. Muln prn!fsc pruprnn lur nmurmntnrf n sf ntrfnn, cf s-n ntmplnt nnrn. $n sf pnrf ntr-ndf!r cnudnt, c fstf tut tnmpul ntt df ntunfrnc, c sunrflf nu mnn rsnrf, c nu mnn pluu dfluc. *nr fn nu n dnu sfnmn, cf s-n ntmplnt ntr-ndf!r. Muln nn ln nnumntf lucrurn lumftn, pf cnrf lf-nu nunnt, fnf un dulnp, u lnp funrtf frumuns, u cnrtf, cnsn lur snu un nnstrumfnt muzncnl. Fn nu sf put dfsprnndf df cffn cf fstf mntfrnnl. )hnnr dnc ncfstf cu!nntf sun n fn dnn pu!ftn, sunt tutun ndf!rntf! % nu nf nmngnnm ncum nmfdnnt, nn df pnrc nun nm fn .dnnculu/ cu cunutnnn nunstr. Nn s-nr prfn nmfdnnt nltffl mprf urrnlf. *nr cunutnnn nu mnn fstf! *unr fncf pnrtf dnn curp, n ncfln fstf murt! 2mnf dunr suflftul spnrntunl. n ln ncfn unmfnn, cnrf nu s-nu ucupnt df fn n tnmpul !nfnn, fstf ct sf puntf df srnc. Fn fstf .hnndncnpnt spnrntunl/, n ncfnstn n cfn mnn mnrf msur. Ncum sf put nflfgf mnn nnnf ncfstf rfncnn. *uhurnlf sunt dfsfurn mrgnnntf n trfnnn lur prnn rudflf lur nprupnntf. )t df dfs sf ntmpl, c u .sunf nunntunrf/ nu nflfgf pur n snmplu, c suul fn n murnt. Fn n punf cn df unncfn mncnrf n fnrfurnf, !urnftf cu fl cn n nlt dnt, l durftf nprunpf. %nu ntuncn cnd munrf un cupnl, pf cnrf mnmn nu !rfn s-l lnsf s plfcf! Fstf cfl mnn ru lucru, cf sf puntf ntmpln ncfstur suflftf. Fn sunt prnnn n ncfn nunptf n dfsfurn nu nf!unf df funrtf mult tnmp, pn cnd fn gsfsc drumul cfl drfpt. n ct df uur put fn fn n utnn. "rfnunf dunr s-$ rugnn pf 7rnstus, cn Fl s trnmnt un ngfr, cnrf s lf nrntf drumul. Nun trfnunf s nf rugm pfntru ncfnn cnrf nu murnt. Muln sunt nfn uturnn, n cununtfrfn lur fstf fgnl cu cfn n unun cupnl! Fstul nf-n ntrfcut n ncfnstn. 0n "nnft f,nst nn znsn .cnrtf tnnftnn pfntru murn/. ' pnrtf fstf cntnt cu rfgulnrntntf cflun cnrf n dfcfdnt curnd. Ncfnst cnrtf cunnnf tutul, cf trfnunf s tnf fl dfsprf !nnnn df dup munrtf n dfsprf drumul pf cnrf trfnunf s-l mfnrg. Fstf cfl mnn mnrf n utur, cnrf n sf puntf uffrn unun dfcfdnt, dnc fstf *umnfzfu rugnt, cn Fl s-l cunduc sprf drumul cfl drfpt. Nu fstf drfpt cn s fnn df nfcunsulnt ln munrtfn unun um drng. Fu nm trnt ncfnstn chnnr cu tntl mfu. Fl n fust ns ntt df n!nnsnt spnrntunl, c nu n fust rfnnut df ncfst lucru. Muln sunt nc mult prfn unmfnn, cn s punt s stpnfnsc sntunnn. Fn !ur s-n cunsulfzf rudflf n rmn nc mult tnmp mprfun cu flf, nnr ncfst lucru fstf n dffn!unrfn dfz!ultrnn lur. *rngustfn nu nsfnmn, s uprftn pf cnnf!n n dfz!ultnrfn sn. Nnsfnmn n prnmul rnd, s-l lnn s-n mfnrg drumul, dnc fstf pfntru fl mnn nnnf n mnn frumus n s tf nucurn mprfun cu fl! F,nst multf pupunrf, ln cnrf munrtfn unun um fstf u ffstn!ntntf. % tnf fn unrf mnn mult, dfct lumfn cn!nlnznt( Munrtfn nu fstf nncnudnt u cunncndfn, nncnudnt! Nu fstf ncn mcnr u pfdfnps! &fntru nnmfnn! Munrtfn nsfnmn tfrmnnnrfn unun stngnu df dfz!ultnrf. Fstf f,nct ncflnn lucru, cn ln un studnu. "untf mntfrnnlf trfnunf s fnf ucupntf. Nu fstf df fulus, dnc ncfln, cnrf fstf ductur n df!fnnrf, prnmftf urf dunr ln nnntumnf. Nmfdnnt dup cf fl n n!nt ncfnstn, d fl un tfst n ucup u mntfrnf cnrf l ducf sprf spfcnnlnznrf. *nc nu trfcf tfstul, ntuncn trfnunf cn fl s rfpftf dnn nuu cursul. %f mnn puntf ntmpln, c nu trfcf ntr-u nnumnt spfcnnlntntf n tfstulun su, n ntuncn trfnunf fl s rfpftf dunr ncfn pnrtf. Nnr *umnfzfu fstf un pruffsur mnlustn!! Fl nu lns pf cnnf!n s cnd dffnnntn!. Fnfcnrf puntf s rfpftf tfstul. *nr fl trfnunf s tfrmnnf n

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cursul cnrf fncf pnrtf dnn ncfl tfst. *f ncffn, fnfcnrf ntrfnnrf dup un .*f cf/ fstf nnutnl! )ursul s-n tfrmnnnt, n u nlt mntfrnf sf !n prfdfn n urmturul sfmfstru. Nnmfnn nu cununtf .stnrfn df dfz!ultnrf/ n cflunlnlt. *f ncffn nu puntf spunf nnmfnn- )f rust n n!ut, dnc un cupnl n murnt df n dup duu znlf df ln nntfrfn sn. )hnnr n snrcnnn, dnr mnn nlfs nntfrfn, n chnnr n munrtfn fnc pnrtf dnn mntfrnnlf nunstrf df tfstnrf! Flf cunnn nttfn trnrn, c nncnudnt nu !n fn fr rust, s trnftn .dunr/ ncfst lucru. n muln sunt nf!zturn. 'nul cnrf !fdf ru puntf s !nd lunn. *nr nfnumrntflf n nmfnsflf stflf fl nu lf !n !fdfn nncnudnt. *nr u pusnnnlntntf nrf fl cn s punt nfln ncfnstn- crfdnnn! Fstf nnnf, dnc nn !unf s n un. % nccfpn ns n uturul, s m lns n utnt, ncfst lucru n fust u trnrf nmpurtnnt pfntru mnnf. n fu sunt mulumnt n ffrncnt dnn ncfnst cnuz. *nr cu ct df mult fstf mnn frumus, s pun n utn! *rngustfn fstf cn un numfrnng. Ndf!rntul fgunst fmntf drngustfn, ntt df mult ct puntf fl. Fl u prnmftf ns df sutf df urn nnpun. )u nnnnn fnfcnrf prucfdfnz nn. Nn dfpunf n nnnc, cn s nduc dunnzn. *nr drngustfn, !rfn fnfcnrf s-u nn pfntru fl. )um puntf s nduc ntuncn dunnzn( *umnfzfu trnmntf fr ntrfrupfrf drngustf, drngustf curnt. Fl prnmftf df ncffn cfl mnn mult nnpun. )ffn, cf fstf dfscrns prnn fgunsm, fstf f,nct cuntrnrnul. Fstf !urnn df cnnf!n, cnrf n f,punf fguul Andnc pf snnf nsunB n f,tfrnur, fstf ncfln, cnrf nu fstf prfgtnt s n utf n s drunnsc, n cnrf strngf !nlurn mntfrnnlf pfntru snnf. )t df nfffrncnn sunt n rfnlntntf ncftn unmfnn! )t df dfs trfnunf s sf dfspnrt, ct df dfs trfnunf s fug df nlnn, dfunrfcf fn sunt df prfrf, c mnn put prnmn n nlt pnrtf cf!n, cf nc lf lnpfstf! )u tuntf c sunt nugnn, cu tuntf c nu multf nctn!ntn n schnmnrn prfmnnfntf, fn srcfsc cu tutul n nntfrnurul lur. )nnf n cnut ffrncnrfn dunr n lucrurn mntfrnnlf, ncfln n lns spnrntul s munr df funmf n chnnurn! )nnf nn n ncfnrc s mnncf ct mnn mult dnn pr nturn, cnrf fstf pfntru tun, ncfln nu trfnunf s sf mnrf, dnc n sf fncf ru dup ncffn. Ndf!rntul fgunsm fstf ncfln, dnc fu fnc cf!n cf mn nducf un nfnnfncnu, n cf put s pstrfz dup ncffn pfntru mnnf! )fl mnn trznu ntuncn cnd sf nnstnlfnz munrtfn sf .cunfnsc/ nunurnlf mntfrnnlf, dnc nu mnn df!rfmf dnn cnuzn lucrrnlur mflf rflf. Ndf!rntul fgunst strngf cumurn spnrntunlf. )cn pf ncflfn lf puntf lun cu fl n pf lng ncfnstn prnmftf n dunnd, nnr fnfcnrf nnnchnfr nr n!fn dnn cnuzn ncfnstn lncrnmn n uchn. Fu nm supurtnt multf durfrn n ultnmn !rfmf. )u tuntf ncfstfn nm fust fu ffrncnt. % nnn cnnf!n nf!unf df tnnf, s nn !unf s n un, s lucrn nctn! n mnrfn crfnnf n lun *umnfzfu, cf lucru puntf fn, unrf, mnn frumus( )nnf nu n n!ut nncnudnt ncfstf sfntnmfnt, fstf cfl mnn srnc um dnn lumf. 0ntr-u slu n fstf ncfstn cfl mnn nurmnl lucru. *nc nrf cnnf!n un ff nun, sf strdunftf, cum puntf fl mnn nnnf. Fl ncfnrc, sf df!nn df nfprfunt n sf nucur ntuncn cnd l lnud fful su n n d df nflfs, c nrf nf!unf df fl. n n !nn, s fnf unrf chnnr ntt df dnffrnt(

3 Nntr-u zn l-nm ntrfnnt pf Mnchnfl- Nm n uns fu ncum ntt df dfpnrtf cn Nnnndn 2nmn( Nncnudnt nu l-nm !zut fu mnn surprnns. Fu !d df n, c tu nu nn n!nt cfl mnn nmpurtnnt lucru, n tu nu-l !fn nflfgf, nttn tnmp ct !fn n!fn gndurn fgunstf. Fu nm !rut s prutfstfz, fu nm !rut s-n spun, c nm df!fnnt un f,fmplu n drngustfn n umnlnn. Fu nu-n fnc nnmnun !rfun rfpru, chnnr dnc sunt trntnt cu nfdrfptntf. Fu nunfnm pf tunt lumfn, n utnm spnrntunl pf fnfcnrf, fr !rfu dnffrfn. Fu nu m crfdfnm mnn prfsus dfct nltcnnf!n, chnnr n nnnmnlflf n plnntflf lf cunsndfrnm fnrnn n sururnlf mflf. *nr Mnchnfl, cnrf putfn s-mn cntfnsc gndurnlf cn ntr-u cnrtf dfschns, nu n nccfptnt nncn u scuz. "u nn drfptntf, mn-n spus fl. )u tuntf ncfstfn, tu nu nn trfcut nc df ultnmul unstncul. Fstf grfu df f,plncnt, dnr fstf n mnn grfu df nflfs. "u n nunftn pf tun, spun tu. Ncfst lucru fstf drfpt. "u ftn funrtf ffrncnt df ncfst lucru, tf nucurn ntuncn cnd drngustfn tn fstf nccfptnt, tf nucurn df zmnftul df mulumnrf nl cflunlnlt, snu nu( *n, nm spus fu, Ncfst lucru fstf ndf!rnt! Ndf!rntn drngustf nu nrf nf!unf df succfs! Fn sf nucur dunr df fnptul c puntf nunn. Fn nu ntfnpt nncn u rfncnf. *nc tu tf nucurn ntuncn cnd drngustfn tn fstf nccfptnt, ntuncn ftn nutumnt trnst, dnc fn fstf rfspnns, snu nu( *n, nm spus fu, ncfst lucru fstf drfpt! *nr dnc tf fncf ffrncnt dunr fnptul, c nn !unf s dnn drngustf, fr s cnun succfsul( Ntuncn fu nu mnn put fn nfffrncnt! +fzn tu ncum dnffrfnn( *nc nm nunn nun cn n mn urntntfn unmfnnlur, ntuncn nr fn cfrul un ndf!rnt nnd! &lnn df trnstff n suprnrf! )t df dfs nlung unmfnnn drngustfn nunstr( )t df dfs fstf nruscnt *umnfzfu( Fl nr fn prnn urmnrf cfn mnn nfffrncnt crfntur dnn ntrfngn crfnnf! Nntr-ndf!r, drngustfn fstf cn un numfrnng! *nr dunr drngustfn nnsulut n nfmrgnnnt. *nc f,nst nntfnnn, s ntfpn cf!n n schnmn, ntuncn nu fstf nun prnncnpnul. *nr drngustfn, cnrf pur n snmpul nunftf numnn, n utur, cnrf fstf dunr n utur, pfntru c cfllnlt nrf nf!unf df fl, dunr pfntru fnptul c f,nst ncfn pfrsunn, ncfnstn fstf ntuncn drngustf ndf!rnt. *unr fn fncf ffrncnt pf !fcn, n urncf trnstff n nn sfrntul. Ncfnstn nu nsfnmn, c nun suntfm urnn n nu putfm !fdfn

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suffrnnn. )hnnr dnn cuntr! *nc un cupnl sf nccndfntfnz grn!, df rfgul puntf unul dnn nfnr, cnrf sf cuncfntrfnz nsuprn cupnlulun, s-l n utf mult mnn nnnf dfct mnmn, cnrf fstf cuprnns df trnstff n df durfrf, n cnrf trfnunf s sf luptf cu pruprnnlf fn sfntnmfntf. ' pnuz lung m-n lsnt snngur cu sfntnmfntflf mflf. )f tnnm fu dfsprf drngustf( )f tnu unmfnnn df fnpt dfsprf drngustf( Nu f,nst prunnnnl un nlt cu!nt cnrf nrf nttfn pusnnnlntn. )f tf nucur mnn mult, s n un pf unul snngur, snu pf mnn muln( &f mnn muln, nnnfnflfs! Mnchnfl zmnfn n ncfst lucru fstf grfnt. Fstf unul mnn nfnmpurtnnt dfct mnn muln( Fnfcnrf fstf ln ffl df nmpurtnnt cn cfllnlt. Nu fstf nn cn n ln mfrf, undf duu cntrfsc mnn mult dfct unul snngur. Fnfcnrf nrf fnnnn sn pruprnf. 0n tunt crfnnn nu f,nst duu fnnnf cnrf s fnf ln ffl. *f cffn fstf nmpurtnnt fnfcnrf. *nc nr fn tun ln ffl, ntuncn nn n!fn tu drfptntf. )nncn nr fn ntuncn mnn nmpurtnnn dfct unul snngur. *nr fnfcnrf fstf nltffl, n fflul su fstf df nfnlucunt. *nc tu nn un cfns cu cnncnzfcn df rutnf, n tu nlturn dunr unn snngur, ntuncn cfnsul nu mnn funcnunfnz. &un tu ntuncn s spun, c cflflnltf pntruzfcn n nuu df rutnf sunt mnn nmpurtnntf dfct ncfn unn( )u sngurnn nu! nnf nnnf mnntf cf n spun- fnfcnrf fstf nmpurtnnt, ln ffl cn urncnrf nltul. n *umnfzfu nu lns pf nncn unul s sf prpdfnsc. Nncn mcnr unul! *nr !n fn nf!unf ln unnn df ustfnfln mnn mnrn, s-n nducn nnrn pf cnlfn cfn nun, dfct ln nlnn. *nc tu n nrn numnn unun snngur um cnlfn cfn drfnpt, n n!ut !nnn tn cfl mnn mnrf sfns, n tu nu ftn cu nnmnc mnn punn !nluruns n nu nn nfptunt cu nnmnc mnn punn, dfct dnc nn fn n utnt tu cnncnzfcn df unmfnn. *umnfzfu nu fstf un nfgutur df nnnmnlf. Fl nu punf fnptflf pf cntnr, Fl nu msunr n =nlugrnmf snu n chnntnlf. Fl msunr dunr drngustfn, pf cnrf tu nn f,pfdnnt-u. Numnn pfntru ncfnstn ftn tu rfspunsnnnl. %uccfsul, pf ncfstn ls-l n sfnmn lun *umnfzfu. Muln fufnz n ncfnstn. Fu tf-nm dus nlnlt-nfrn n mfdnntnnf ln dunmnn Hnfgflnnufr. "u nn ncfrcnt s-u nlnnn. Fn fstf un f,fmplu df f,cfpnf pfntru ncfnstn. Fn sf plngf mfrfu, c nu f,nst nnmfnn, pf cnrf l puntf n utn. Fn nrf dunr numnn ussflf-ul fn. Fn nr !rfn cu ntt df mult drng s-n n utf pf tun unmfnnn, nr punf cu ntt df mult drng lumfn rfn n urdnnf n l nn!nnunftf pf *umnfzfu, c fl nu-n d nncn u ucnznf, s nfptunnsc fnptf mnn mnrn. n df nttn cumptnmnrf df snnf fn nu fstf n stnrf, s-n n utf Gussflf-ulun fn. Numnn pfntru ncfstn fstf fn nnumf nncn. Fl nrf nf!unf urgfnt df n uturul fn, fl sf dnstrugf, dnc fn fncf nstffl mnn dfpnrtf, n fn n-nr putfn dn nn df mult, c !nnn fn s-nr fn rfntnt df zfcf urn. Nngrn ftf-tf n tnmpul urmtur dnn cnd n cnd df fn, n ncfnrc s-n fncn ncfnstn lnmpfdf. Mnn f,nst nc tutun spfrnn n prn!nnn fn. )n !ur s uncf pf pustul df unmfnn cnrf mnuntfsc lumfn, sf cumplnc cn mnrn !urnnturn, n dfmunstrnnn n n clunurn, dnr nu !d, c ncfln, cnrf sf nfl lng fn, sf dnstrugf, pfntru c fn nu-l unsfr!, pfntru c fl lf pnrf mult prfn nfnmpurtnnt, pfntru c fn nu-l nunfsc, pfntru c fn n rfnlntntf sf nunfsc numnn pf fn nnn. tnn tu ncum, cf fstf drngustfn( &unn nnntut nm dnt fu dnn cnp. Nu fnn trnst. n pfstf ncfst unstncul !fn mnn trfcf tu nc, ntrfngn !fnncnf sf nfl n fnn tn. Nncn fu nu nm tfrmnnnt cu n!turn. Nnmfnn n-n tfrmnnnt !rfudnt cu n!turn. *umnfzfu fstf ntt df nfmrgnnnt, c !fnncnn nu fstf ndfn uns, pfntru n-$ cuprnndf pf dfplnn. *nr ncfnstn fstf chnnr pnrtfn frumuns. &lnctnsfnl nu f,nst nncnudnt. n n!nrfn n muncn nu sunt, cn pf pmnt, lfgntf df ustfnfnl. % n!m n s muncnm fstf cfn mnn nnlt nucurnf pfntru nun. *nc tu nn nflfs drngustfn curnt, ntuncn put fu ncum s-n rspund ln ntrfnnrfn tn- "u ftn df mult df n mult mnn dfpnrtf dfct Nnnndn 2nmn. Nfncrfztunrf m-nm untnt fu ln fl. )um fstf pusnnnl ncfnstn, dfunrfcf fl nfptunftf tutun nn df mnrn fnptf, dfunrfcf fstf fl nn df nflfpt n nun.( "u gndftn df n nnrn ntr-un mud curnt umfnfsc. Nu dup nflfpcnunf trfnunf tu s tf ustfnftn, nu dup fnptf multf. "u trfnunf s-$ nunftn pf *umnfzfu mnn mult dfct pf tnnf nsun n pf nprunpflf tu cn pf tnnf nsun! Ncfnstn fstf tutul! Nstn nsfnmn ns, unt-tf mnn ntn, cn tu s n ungn ln *umnfzfu. Nnsus 7rnstus n numnt cnlfn- Fu sunt cnlfn. Nnmfnn nu puntf n ungf ln "ntl dfct prnn Fnul. *nr, cn df unncfn, nu sf mulumfsc unmfnnn cu cffn, cf cntfsc fn, fn trfnunf s schnmnf nmfdnnt sfnsul. )u ncfnstn nr fn !urnn dfsprf .cuntnfnn lun 7rnstus/. 7rnstus, ncfstn nm fn nun tun, ncfstn nr fn prnncnpnul drngustfn n mnn multf nltflf. Nu! Nnsus spunf funrtf clnr- Fu sunt cnlfn! n Fl s-n rfffrnt ln ncfnstn tf,tunl. )nnf !rfn ntr-ndf!r s n ung ln *umnfzfu, cnnf !rfn s unnn ndf!rnt stnrf df cupnl nl lun *umnfzfu, ncfln trfnunf s mfnrg cnlfn prnn Nnsus 7rnstus. ' nlt cnlf nu f,nst! n ncfnst cnlf sf puntf gsn numnn pf pmnt. )nnf n-n gsnt-u nncn, ncfln n-u !n gsn nncn .dnnculu/! 'nnn nugn n sfnnn, fn nu rfunt funrtf multf, fn nu n uns funrtf dfpnrtf, dn, fn put fnn funrtf nprunpf df *umnfzfu. Fn nu muncnt mult pfntru ncfnstn, nu lunt multf nsuprn lur, nu ndus multf frtff n nu trnt multf lnpsurn n rugcnunf n cnn. Fn nu ndunnt funrtf mult nflfpcnunf. *nr ultnmn u n-u put dfschndf dnn pruprnn putfrf. &f fn u dfschndf Nnsus 7rnstus dunr ncflurn, cnrf l rung umnln pfntru ncfst lucru. Ncfstn fstf cfl mnn mnrf sfcrft nl ntrfgnn crfnnn. Nnnndn 2nmn s-n dfz!ultnt funrtf dfpnrtf. Fl nrf df n df mult ncfnst prfsnmnrf. Fn l-n ndus nncn. *rngustfn lun fstf nn df putfrnnc, fn l !n ducf ntr-un tnmp scurt snu lung ln Nnsus 7rnstus. *nr ncfnstn trfnunf s fnf dfcnznn lun lnnfr. %-l unlngf sprf ncfst lucru, nu nrf nnmfnn !unf. Fl nsun trfnunf s mfnrg cnlfn ln Nnsus 7rnstus. Fl prnmftf ncflfnn n utunrf cn fnfcnrf. *fcnznn trfnunf ns s-u prncnnunnsc !unnn lun lnnfr. Multur unmfnn nflfpn lf fstf funrtf, funrtf grfu, s sf nplfcf n umnlnn. *f ncffn nu fstf nncn ncfnst cnlf cfn mnn uunr. *nr Nnnndn 2nmn !n rfun ncfst lucru. Ncfstn !n fn n succfsul tu.

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Nnrn m-nm untnt ln fl nfncrfztunrf. Fl tf-n !nzntnt ndfsfn, !un suntfn df n df mult tnmp lfgnn cu u lfgtur putfrnnc n drngustfn. %mfrfnnn tn n supunfrfn tn ndnc fn df Nnsus 7rnstus nu culurnt pn ln cnpt nsuprn lun n sunt n mumfntul, df n-n dfschndf uchnn. +fzn tu ncum, cf fstf drngustfn( Fr n n!fn nntfnnn df succfs, nducf fn u mnnunf dup cfnlnlt ln suprnfn. Nu df nflfpcnunf nn tu nf!unf. *nc *umnfzfu nr fn numnn nflfpcnunf, Fl n-nr fn ndus nncnudnt crfnnn $un ln !nn. Fl nr fn df!fnnt un fnluzuf snngurntnc n s-nr fn nucurnt df nflfpcnunfn %n pn n tuntf !fnncnnlf. Nu! *umnfzfu fstf nunnrf! n drngustfn nu-n u tnnn n duhulun. *rngustfn nu ducf cu!ntrn nflfptf. *rngustfn puntf fn numnn trnt. *rngustfn sf rspndftf mfrfu, ccn, nltffl, fn nu mnn fstf drngustf ndf!rnt. n s sf rspndfnsc puntf drngustfn numnn ntuncn, cnd fstf cnnf!n, cnrf puntf s-u prfnn. %nngurul lucru pf cnrf *umnfzfu l !rfn df ln nun, fstf, cn nun s-$ nunnm dnn !unnn nunstr lnnfr n dnn tunt nnnmn. Fl nsun n ndus ncfnst drngustf n lumf. n numnn prnn Fl, prnn Nnsus 7rnstus, puntf fn unnnut ncfnst cfn mnn nnlt drngustf. Nnflfpcnunfn nf !n n!n ntuncn *umnfzfu. Nntrfngn !fnncnf st ln dnspuznnf pfntru ncfnstn. Ncfnstn fstf cnlfn! )utnn mnn ntn mprnn lun *umnfzfu n drfptntfn $un n tuntf ncfstfn sf !ur ndugn !uu. Numnn ncfnstn cuntfnz! Nnmnc nltcf!n! Muln cu u crfdnn putfrnnc trfnunf nstzn s sf mnn lnsf nnt ucurnn, dnn cnuzn .snmplncntnn/ lur. Fn nu sf ustfnfsc dup dftfptcnunf n cunutnn umfnfnsc. Fn crfd pur n snmplu n nunfsc n tunt smfrfnnn. Ffrncnn cfn srncn cu duhul, c n lur fstf mprnn cfrurnlur! Nnumf- ffrncnn ncfnn, cnrf crfd smfrnn, fr cn s trfnunnsc mfrfu s ntrfnf df ndnt sfnsul tuturur lucrurnlur! &rn!fghfnn, n spus Nnsus. n %ntnn dfnnf cununtfrf n mnrf putfrf. n rul fstf n stnrf s nfptunnsc mnnunn n lucrurn mnrn. *nr un snngur lucru nu puntf- s nunfnsc! &fntru c ntuncn nu mnn fstf fl ru! )t df multur unmfnn lf fstf nstzn grfu, s sf ntnfzf df nnsfrnc rfspfctn! s sf sunurdunfzf, ln cnrf multf lucrurn sunt pf dus. Muln prsfsc mnn dfgrnn ntrfgul ndf!r, dfct s suffrf unflf lucrurn, cf nu sunt curfctf. Fn nu rfnlnzfnz, c sntnn n ptruns df n df mult n nnsfrnc n n nfnurucnt-u pnrnnl ntr-un mud funrtf urt. *nr tucmnn ncfnstn fstf tutun du!ndn pfntru mprnn lun 7rnstus. %ntnn nu fncf nncnudnt cf!n fr sfns. Fl n-nr ncfrcn cu tunt putfrfn, s dnstrug nnsfrncn, dnc fl n-nr tn f,nct, c fn n !n frngf ntr-u zn gtul. %fr!ncnul sfcrft tutun nu spnunfnz df rfgul prnftfnul. Nu, dnr n gu!frnul dumnn ptrundf fl n ncfnrc s n ung n cflf mnn nnltf pusturn! n dnc fl s-n fcut stpn pf un gu!frn, ntuncn tutun nu dnstrugf gu!frnul pn ln munrtf. %f ncfnrc mult mnn mult, s fnf ndfprtnn snnuturnn n s sf rfstnnnlfnsc nnrn strn urdunntf. *nc cnnf!n fstf nulnn!, n !un l ducfn ln ductur, ntuncn fl dunr nu-l umunr df tut, cn ncfnrc s-l n utf! *f cf nu fncfn !un cu nncfrncn tut nn( Fn sf nsfnmn cu u curnnnf, cnrf s-n gurnt n nmfnn s sf scufundf. *nc tun lnulnlt nr n utn, nr fn rfpfdf rfpnrnt lucul cu prncnnn, n curnnnn nr putfn s-n cuntnunuf clturnn fn. 0n luc df ncfnstn sf scnp fr mnntf muln n nrcnlf df snl!nrf. Numnn c - rmul sngur nu-l n ung fn nstffl nncnudnt. Furtunnlf !nfnn n fnc pf cfn mnn muln dnntrf fn s sf scufundf! *nr df cf pfrmntf *umnfzfu, cn muln dnntrf cupnnn $un s fnf nlungnn nfnr dnn nnsfrnc( *f cf nu nntfr!nnf Fl( &fntru c *umnfzfu nu-n ncnlc nncnudnt pruprnnlf %nlf lfgn! *nc Fl nr nntfr!nnn dnrfct, nr dnstrugf Fl tutun !unnn lnnfr n unmfnnlur. Ncfnstn n-u puntf Fl !rfn nncnudnt. *nr Fl ncurd nn df mult sprn nn! n nncn nu sunt ncftnn AncB cupnnn $un, cnrf sunt nlungnn nfnr. )upnnn $un l cunusc n l nunfsc. n drngustfn nccfpt n umnlnrn, fn puntf supurtn multf n puntf s trfnc multf cu !fdfrfn. Ncfnn cnrf sf snmt dfrnn nn df tuntf, ncfnn cnrf crntnc n cundnmn tuntf, ncfnn nc nu nu drngustfn. Fu dunr n crfdf, dnc ..., ncfnstn n-u spunf drngustfn nncnudnt. n numnn fn fstf ncffn, cnrf cuntfnz. *nr cnd!n udnt sf !n ntunrcf fnfcnrf. &nldn dfsprf fnul pnfrdut, ncfnstn fstf !nlnnnl pfntru fnfcnrf. 'nnn trfnunf mult tnmp s pftrfnc ntrf strnnn, pn cf fn rfcunusc pruprnn nfputnn n sf rfnturc n smfrfnnf n drngustf ln "ntl. *nr nu fnn df ncffn trnst. 'n sprf "nrl rmnf tutdfnunn dfschns! Fl n-u !n trntn nncnudnt! n nncn unul dnntrf fn nu fstf df ncffn mnn punn !nlurus! "ntl nu fncf dnffrfnnfrn! Fl l nunftf pf fnfcnrf dnntrf cupnnn %n ln ffl, nu fstf nmpurtnnt, ct df mult tnmp n fust fl ntrf strnnn. )nf !nnf ln "ntl, pf ncfln l !n prnmn Fl cu nrnflf dfschnsf. Nncnudnt nu-l !n pfdfpsn - snu chnnr s-l nruncf n fuc! +rfmfn, n cnrf n fust fl ntrf strnnn, ncfstn fstf tnmpul nfnurucnrnn, nl srcnfn, ncfnstn fstf u ndfn uns .pfdfnps/. %ntnn nu nscult cu drng ncfst mfsn . Fl n ncfrcnt df n dnntutdfnunn tutul, s l prfschnmnf n cuntrnrnul lun! n nn df muln sf lns cu plcfrf pclnn df fl. *n! *nr trfnunf tutun s f,nstf u pusnnnlntntf, s rupn stpnnrfn lun, s n sf dfslufnsc fnfcrunn ncfstf lfgturn lugncf. 'ntf, fu tf nm pf tnnf. Fr tnnf n-n fn n uns nncnudnt nn df dfpnrtf. *f cf n-nu tun un ngfr, cnrf n cunducf( Mnchnfl s-n untnt stupffnnt ln mnnf. Nu tnn ncfst lucru( Fnfcnrf nrf un ngfr! Numnn c nncn tu nu pun s !fzn nc tutul! Fnfcrunn n st un ngfr nlturn, tut nn cn n fu nf. n fnfcnrf nrf pusnnnlntntfn, s nn cuntnct cu ngfrul su. )fn mnn muln cupnn mncn mnn put nc s sf untf n lumfn nunstr. *nr, df ndnt cf fn put !urnn n put pu!fstn dfsprf ncfnstn, lf fstf scuns ncfnstn dnn cnp cn fnnnd u nnurfnl df fnntfznf. Mfrfu nnrn ncfrcm nun s nf fncfm unsfr!nnnln n lf dm unmfnnlur gndurn nunf. *nr dnc fn lf ndupt pf ncfstfn, ncfnstn sf nfl n !unnn lur lnnfr. *nc pf cnnf!n l lu!ftf cuntnnnn snu dnc !nn scrupulf, ntuncn sf nfl funrtf dfs ngfrul su n spntflf ncfstur lucrurn. *nr cfl mnn ndfsfn sunt sugfstnnlf lur pur n snmplu dntf ln u pnrtf, n tnmp cf nnsnnurnlf rulun sunt lncum prfluntf. %ntnn n rfunt, cn cfn mnn muln unmfnn s nu mnn

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crfnd n f,nstfnn nunstr. )um pun ncum s nsculn df cnnf!n, dfsprf cnrf sf crfdf, c fl nncn mcnr nu f,nst( %trfsul znlnnc, hntunnln n nflnnntfn mpnfdnc urncum urncf cuntnct cu lumfn duhu!nncfnsc. Nnumntf snrcnnn df prutfcnf n schnmn f,frcntm nun ntutdfnunn. &fntru fnfcnrf um. Nun prutf m trupul n sumn, cnd duhul mfrgf pf clturnf, nun rfspnngfm ntncurnlf rulun nsuprn !nfnnlur !unstrf, cflf multf nccndfntf .dnn ntmplnrf/, pf cnrf fl !n lf-n gtnt. Nns, ncfnst .snrcnn n ngfrulun pzntur/ fstf numnn pnrtfn fnrfnsc, mnn mnc n snrcnnnn nunstrf. "u nn n cnmfrn tn u ncunn ntrnnt, n cnrf un ngfr pzntur cunducf un cupnl pfstf un pud. Ncfnstn fstf u ncunn cu u nur mnnunnt. )nnf n pnctnt-u, ncfln n!fn un cuntnct nntfns cu lumfn duhu!nncfnsc. Fl putfn s-n dfschnd lnrg duhul su n putfn s-n nsufnsc uscnlnnnlf nunstrf, pf cnrf fl lf-n trnnspus n nmngnnf. Nncn fstf !urnn df pudul duhu!nncfsc, cnrf cn u crru ngust ducf dnnculu dnn lumfn mntfrnnl n mprnn lun *umnfzfu. Ncfnstn fstf snrcnnn nunstr pruprnu zns, mult mnn nmpurtnnt. )unducturn duhu!nncfsc !rfm nun s lf fnm unmfnnlur. Numnn c - nncn nrf tucmnn n !unnn lnnfr nntf cu!nnflf df spus. Nun nu n!fm !unf s f,frcntm nncn un ffl df cunstrngfrf. Nun lf-nm prncnnun nltffl unmfnnlur u pngun nrfpnrnnnl. &fntru c dnc !unnn nr fn rupt prnn cunstrngfrf, cfl lnnfr nr df!fnn pfntru tutdfnunn un scln!. Ncfnstn fstf chfnn sprf nflfgfrfn lumnn! n ncfnstn nf fncf snrcnnn nunstr nn df nfsfrnt df grfn. *nr tuntf cflf, cf lf cfrfn df ln nun, n!fm !unf s lf fncfm pfntru !un! "untf cf lf punfn ncrfzturn n mnnnlf nunstrf, lf !um rfzul!n pfntru !un. Ncfnstn fstf tut nn !nlnnnl pfntru lucrurnlf duhu!nncftn ct n pfntru cflf lumftn. +un nncn nu nf putfn fncf prfn mult munc, pfntru c munc n sfnsul !ustru, cnrf fstf lfgnt df ustfnfnl n df tnmp, nu f,nst tutun pfntru nun. )ffn cf ! fstf !uu ustfnfnl, fstf pfntru nun u nucurnf. )u ct mnn multf !un nf ncrfdnnnn, cu ct mnn mult nf lsnn s nfptunm, cu ntt mnn strns !n fn cuntnctul nustru ctrf !un. +un ! putfn lsn purtnn df usnlnnnlf nunstrf, n tuntf cflf, cf !un nn lf ncrfdnnnn, !ur fn nrnn ntf sprf nnnflf !ustru. Nnnfnflfs, sprf nnnflf !ustru! Ncfnstn nsfnmn ns dfsfurn- Nu nn, prfcum !un ! nchnpunn ncfnstn, nncn nfnprnt n tnmpul, pf cnrf l-nn gndnt !un pfntru ncfnstn. )nnf nrf prn!nrf nlnrg, ncfln !fdf cfl mnn ndfsfn nltf n mnn nunf cn, dfct ncfln, cnrf sf nfl mputmulnt n mlntnn. "untf cflf, cf trfnunf !un s lf fncfn, fstf s ! rugnn, s crfdfn, s n!fn ncrfdfrf n s f,frcntnn rndnrf. "ut nn cum fu nm fust mfrfu nlturn df tnnf, tut nn fstf ln fnfcnrf. )t df nntfnsn! !n df!fnn rflnnn, ncfnstn sf nfl numnn n mnn !unstr. % crfnd n nun n s tnf dfsprf nun, ncfst lucru l puntf fncf fnfcnrf, cnrf nf nmnfnz prunlfmflf snlf, nunnnd n cu ncrfdfrf, n !n nnf dnntr-u dnt rfzul!nrfn n mnnnlf snlf. N nntrn ntr-un cuntnct duhu!nncfsc cu nun, ncfst lucru sf puntf numnn n lnnntf, prnn rugcnunf n mfdntnnf n rndnrf. )t df mult f,frsnn !un, pfntru n n!n pfrffct u lnmn strnn( )t df muln nnn n!nn !un zn df zn, urf n nr( *nn prncnnn n cf ffl df scupurn mncn dfz!ultnn !un ctfudnt u fnfrgnf n pfrsf!frfn nmfns( n ct df mult tnmp n!fstnn !un znlnnc n curpul !ustru, pfntru n-l nntrfnn n n-l nfrumusfn( Nnmfnn nu-n !n pstrn trupul. 0n prnf nu sf mnn !d muchnn, nncn nu mnn dfrnn fnz rndurnlf. N-nr fn !rfdnnc n ustfnfnln, s-n rfzfr!fzn n fnfcnrf zn ctf!n mnnuntf, pfntru n nntrn n lfgtur cu *umnfzfu n lnnntf n rugcnunf n mfdntnnf( )u *umnfzfu n cu nun, cnrf ! cunducfm dup !unnn $un n ! ncumpnnnm pf cnlfn nsprf Fl! *f n n !nnn !unstr nctunl nn prnmn !un multnplu nnpun tnmpul pf cnrf !un l pftrfcfn n lnnntf. ' lucrnrf, pf cnrf u ncfpfn cu nun, rfuftf! Nnfptunrfn !unstr, ln cnrf !un ! rugnn dup n uturul nustru, nu !n fn fr succfs! )lturnn, pf cnrf u plnunn cu nun n ln cnrf nf lunn cu !un, nu sf !n sfrn n hnus! )fnrtn, pf cnrf nf-u ncrfdnnnn sprf nplnnnrf, fstf df n pf umtntf sfnrnt! Grn nlf !unstrf sf !ur rnsnpn n prunlfmf !unstrf !ur fn rfzul!ntf n umtntf df tnmp! )t df multf lucrurn fncfn !un, n crur succfs !un nu-l cununtfn, pf cnrf !un nu lf putfn !frnfncn( &f nun nf putfn !frnfncn! *f n dup un tnmp scurt! 'ndf fstf u !unn, nculu fstf n u cnlf, n crunn n lnpsftf !unnn, ncflunn nu-n fulusftf nncn cfn mnn lnrg cnlf! +fzn tu ncum, cum s-nu rfzul!nt tuntf( &fntru fnfcnrf fstf pnrcnt n fnn unn u mnnn. *unr s cunduc, trfnunf fl snngur! n dnc nn lns furnt muturul, snu dnc tunrn np n rfzfr!ur, snu dnc lf d !unf prnftfnnlur, s cunstrunnsc dnn run supurturn pfntru spun, ntuncn nu nrf !unf fl s dfn !nnn pf mnnn. *nc !rfn tutun s n ung ln cnptul prupus, trfnunf s mfnrg pf us drumul lung n plnn df unstnculf - snu s-n rfpnrf dnn nuu mnnnn. Fu nm fust ct sf puntf df ngruznt df cffn, cf fu nm nuznt mnn nnnntf. $n ncfst lucru fu nu m-nm gndnt. *f cf sunt unrf unmfnnn ntt df urnn( %ntnnn fstf ntt df dftfpt n df !nclfnn, n nnmfnn nu-n puntf n ungf ln nns n ncfst dumfnnu. Fl lf d unmfnnlur u nucnt df znhr, n n tnmp cf fn l df!urfnz cu lcumnf, lf fur fl mnnnn. *up ncffn spunf, c nu n f,nstnt nncnudnt !rfunn. n cfn mnn muln l crfd pf cu!nt. n muln n mnn nccfpt uffrtn, prnn cnrf sf sf lnsf dun u nucnt dnn drum! Fn sf lns lfgnn ln uchn df fl n nu unsfnr!, c fl n ducf n dnrfcnn upus! 'h, dnc nr tn fn, c ntrfg drumul nnrupt trfnunf s-l pnrcurg pf us! *nr trfnunf cn s tf pun prutf n n !rfun ffl. Nnnfnflfs c fstf pusnnnl! "u tf-nn prutf nt cu mnrf succfs. Nrmflf sunt- rugcnunfn, mfdntnnn - n drngustfn! Mnn nlfs drngustfn! 8 0n znun df rusnlnn m-nm mnuln!nt fu dfudnt ru df tut. ' tumunrf mnrf s-n furmnt n cnpul mfu. Nnupfrnnnl nu sups ducturnn. *nr drngustfn pf cnrf fu nm sdnt-u, n prnns flunrf. Mnnmn m-n lunt nmfdnnt

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dnn spntnl n m-n ndus lng fn ncns. Fn lucrn ncum dunr umtntf df zn, n n ncfl tnmp n!fn grn u !fcnn df mnnf. Mnmn n trfnunt s rfnunf ln fnurm df mult lucrurn, dnr ncfst lucru nu u mnn dfrnn n prfn tnrf. $ucrurn mntfrnnlf nu mnn nsfmnnu pfntru fn prfn mnrf lucru. Fn nu mnn cunsumn nlcuhul, chnnr n df fumnt s-n lsnt fn. Nu mnn frn nfcfsnr pfntru fn, dfunrfcf fn n-n gsnt lnnntfn. Nprunpf c nr fn nccfptnt chfmutfrnpnn uffrnt. *nr fu nm putut s-u fnc s nflfng, c fu nu durfnm ncfnstn. )hnnr n ducturul n nflfs ncfnst durnn. $n u nstffl df tumunrf nu sunt nnsflf n nn prfn mnrn, n fust prfrfn lun. &untf c nr trn punn mnn mult, dnr cu sngurnn nu !n trn mnn ffrncnt. *nc rmnf lng fn n u ngrn nn, n !n nmnntn cu sngurnn df ultnmnlf clnpf nlf !nfnn. *nc durfrnnlf !ur fn prfn mnrn, ! !un n utn ln urncf ur. Fu nm fust nucuruns c nm prnmnt un ductur nn df nflfgtur. )u tuntf c tnnm cf nsfmnn ncfnst nunl pfntru mnnf, n cu tuntf c m nucurnm n u nccfptnm cu rndnrf, n!fnm tutun punn frnc df cffn cf !n urmn pfntru mnnf. +ur fn unrf durfrnnlf ntt df cruntf( +un putfn unrf s rfznst( )u durfrn pfrmnnfntf frnm unnnunt, n fu putfnm s nfs ln cnpt cu flf. 0n prnmflf lunn frn df supurtnt, fu lunm dunr rnrfurn cnlmnntf. Mnmn sttfn df multf urn lng mnnf. Fn n n!nt s cumunncf cu mnnf n tcfrf. Fr cu!nntf, dunr cu snmurnlf. Fu frnm ntt df nucuruns s !d, ct df dfpnrtf n n uns fn. *f ln Nnnndn 2nmn n n!nt fn s sf rungf n s mfdntfzf, n fn n fust u flf! snlntunrf. Nun nf ndncfnm dfsfurn n lnnntfn spnrntulun n nf unfnm prnntr-u nnnd n drngustfn, nn cum nm cunuscut fu ncfnstn dunr ln tntn. "ntl mfu frn dfsfurn cu nun, n chnnr n mnmn putfn s-n snmt prfzfnn. *f ctf!n urn nm rfunt, s-u nnu pf mnmn sus, s-n nruncf ctf!n .prn!nrn/ n lumfn spnrntunl. )hnnr n frnnn mfn m !nzntnu unfurn. 0ncftul cu ncftul n ncfput n ln fn s sf tupfnsc durntntfn lur n s sf nmunnf nmngnnfn mntfrnnl. %chnmnnrfn mnmfn n-n pus pf gndurn. Fn nu unsfr!nt c nu st n fnn lur .u sur n rugcnunnn/, cnrf n ncfput s-n fnf frnc ln ntrnffs cnrf ncfnrc s snl!fzf, cffn cf nc sf puntf snl!n. +nnrnnnlf fn frn purf n ndf!rntf, drngustfn fn frn nun. Fn nu trfnunn s !urnfnsc multf, sf putfn snmn, sf putfn !fdfn pf chnpul fn. Mult s-n rugnt fn pfntru frnnn mfn, mult s-n gndnt fn ln fn. n .ln!nnn/ fn !n df!fnn ntr-u nun zn funrtf mnrf. 3 "rfnzfcn n trfn df nnn nm mplnnnt fu nfrn, n tnnm, c ncfnstn !n fn ultnmn mfn zn df srnturnrf. Fu frnm prfgtnt s sufr, frnm ffrncnt, c n!fnm !unf s ndnug n fu nucntn mfn - dnr frnm tuun nucuruns s tnu, c nu !un mnn fn pfnrtu mult tnmp lfgnt df ncfst curp. 'n culn!nfn frn df n dfschns, pnsrfn frn prfgtnt s znunrf, ntfptn dunr sfmnnlul. )u tuntf ncfstfn m npucn ctfudnt tfnmn! Mnchnfl m-n n!frtnznt df n dnn tnmp. Fnn ntfnt, mn-n spus fl, dunnnlf npnr dnn nuu! $n sfrnt mnn strngf nc u dnt %ntnnn mfnghnnn. Fl sf fulusftf df nfsngurnn, rfstul ncfln, cnrf sf nfl ntrf crfdnn n stnnn. Fu nm !zut prfn multf, nm trnt prfn multf, pfntru n dnspfrn. )hnnr n dup cf nu mnn n!fnm putfrf, s m rffugnfz ln Mnchnfl. *nr fu putfnm snmn nfpturnlf df nc, cnrf trfnunnu s m fnc nfsngur, n fu put s-n nflfg pf tun, cnrf sunt stpnnn df dunnn n chnnr dnc sunt crfdnncnun dnu nnpun n sf lupt cu frncn lur. *nr cnnn n n!nt pf !rfmurn nunf s sf rungf, !n putfn trfcf n pfstf ncfstf tfmfrn. Fu frnm nprunpf n ntrfgnmf pnrnlnznt n nu mnn putfnm nncn cu cfn mnn nun !unn s supurt durfrnlf, dunr cucnlmnntf tnrn. Fu df nnnn mnn putfnm s nghnt, mncntul n df!fnnt un chnn. "ut mnn dfs pncnm fu ntr-un sumn ndnc n nncuntnfnt. "ut mnn dfs !fdfnm fu chnpurn n !ns. *f unncfn frn ngfrn, cnrf m !nzntnu n n dfschndfnu cu tnndrff nrnpnlf lur dfnsuprn mfn. *nr mnn frnu n cnucnnturn nfgrf, cnrf sttfnu mnn ln dnstnn ln pnd, dnr cnrf nu rfufnu s sf nprupnf df ncfn ngfrn. Nntr-u nun zn nu !fnnt sprf mnnf trfn mnnunnn n mnrn ngfrn. Fn nu ndus n pfntru mnnf u pfrfchf df nrnpn. )n n fluturnn nf-nm urcnt nun n nfr n nm znurnt sprf sunrf. )fn mnn mnrf ffrncnrf m-n nnundnt pf mnnf. Ntuncn m-nm nturs fu, n nm !zut n dfprtnrf mnrf sun mnnf u cnmfr. Nntr-un pnt frn un curp ndurfrnt, cnrf sf nturcfn dnntr-u pnrtf n cfnlnlt df durfrf n cnrf sf luptn cu munrtfn. ' ffmfnf sttfn n plngfn nfn uturnt nlturn, n spntflf fn sf nflnu dun ngfrn, cnrf u cunsulnu. Ffmfnn s-n untnt n sus ln mnnf - frn mnmn mfn! Fu frnm ncfnn, cnrf sf zntfn nculu us cu munrtf! Nu frn un !ns! Fu nm fust flnnfrnt! Fu frnm lnnfr! n ntuncn nm !zut fu dnn nuu, mnn mnrf n mnn strlucntur dfct urncnd%unrflf! %unrflf mfu! Nnsus )hrnstus! &lnn df nucurnf n mulumnrf nm pncnt fu n gfnunchn. Fu nu nm murnt! Nu! Fu m-nm nscut! Mnchnfl m-n rndncnt, tntn n fust nculu mprfun cu surn Gnrcnn. Fu frnm nnrn ncns! Mnchnfl mn-n ntnns u cup cu cflf mnn mnnunntf fructf pf cnrf fu lf-nm !zut !rfudnt. Mnnc, pun n!fn nf!unf df u ntrnrf. )f ffl df fructf sunt ncfstfn( Flf n npnrnn. Fu lf-nm pstrnt pfntru tnnf. %unt fructflf pf cnrf tu lf-nn culfs pf pmnt. Mn n mn nm mfrs nun sprf cns, n dnrfcnn ncflfn lumnnn. 3333 FPNLUG LN N 2-N FDNNF

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"frnturnnlf spnrntunlf nu sf put nflfgf prnn cunutnn. *nn cuntr- df multf urn nf st n drum. Fncf pnrtf dnn curp n puntf pfrcfpf dunr cffn., cf n trnnsmntf cflf cnncn snmurn nlf nunstrf. Ncurdul cumun, cnrf n nflnt ncfnst cnrtf, m nucur funrtzf tnrf. ) nu mnn fust prnntrf flf rfmrcn crntncf, n chnnr !ucn cnrf sf mputrn!fnu, m-n mpnns sprf fnptul, df n f,plncn ctf!n lucrurn n ncfst fpnlug. Fu nm ncfrcnt s nrt nfmrgnnntn drngustf n lun *umnfzfu, cnrf cuprnndf pf tuntf fnnnflf n cnrf fstf cu mult mnn mnrf n cuprnnztunrf, dfct nun nf-nm putfn nmngnnn. Multf lucrurn puntf c sunt n rfnlntntf nltffl, nun nu putfm s lf pfrcfpfm cu nflfgfrfn nunstr mnc n lumfnsc. *unr )hrnstus ducf sprf "ntl, n Fl fstf drumul! *nr pf cnnf cunducf Fl, cnd n cum pf ncfl drum, fu nu put s m prunun ln ncfnstn. *unr un lucru tnu cu sngurnn- *uhul %u, *uhul %u sfnt, ndnf pfstf tut, chnnr n n nfnrn nnsfrncnlur. &rnn fructflf lur n !fn rfcununtf "rfnunf dunr cn s dfschndfm uchnn n s nf nmnntnm df cfn mnn nmpurtnnt purunc n %nNunnn-! ...! *unr nstn cuntfnz! Nu nf putfm nnrncndn n spntflf dugmflur, n lfgnnlur n n cundnmnrnnlur# *umnfzfu gsftf pf fnfcnrf, n dup ncffn l msunr prnn drngustfn ncfstunn pfntru nprunpflf su.! Nnsfrncn, spu!fdnnnn, sncrnmfntflf, ct df nfnsfmnntf sunt flf, dnc nu cunduc sprf umnlnn n sprf drngustf, n ct df mrff sunt ntuncn cnd nf dnu putfrfn, s crftfm n drngustfn lun )hrnstus! Fu lf mulumfsc n!turnnlur mfn spnrntunln. )ununtfrfn lur, rndnrfn lur n drngustfn lur mn-nu dfnschns drmul spnrntunl n cu ncfnst cnrtf tuturur cflurn, cnrf cnut s fnf umnln. 'ndf sunt strnnf cu!nntf n lntfrf, nculu putfm s mfrgfm n lnnntf n s snmnm !nnrnnnlf, cnrf sf nscund n spntflf cu!nntflur n s nf lsm dus df fn. Nfn nmnn Elfnn, nunfmnrnf 1?>>

*rngustfn lun *umnfzfu fstf tfmn prnncnpnl dnn crnnlf lun Nnn nmnn Elfnn ....nncn vurn df nnd .... nncn vurn df munr f Ncfstf crn sunt dnscursurn nfucntf dfsprf drngustfn lun *umnfzfu. Nfn nmnn Elfnn d n !nlfng pcntul df munrtf n tuturur rflngnnlur- &f *umnfzfu s-$ fnc um n !fnncn, nfmrgnnntn n pfntru nun nfnmngnnnnnln drngustf n %n s-u scurtfzf n s-u ngrdfnsc. Fl du!fdftf lnpfdf n pf nflfsul tuturur, df cf drngustfn lun *umnfzfu nu puntf n!fn mnrgnnn n nu sf uprftf nncn n fnn nndulun, dn mnn nlfs nculu fstf mnn f!ndfnt - nnnfnflfs dnc dugmflf nunstrf, nn!ndnn n durnnn nunstr df putfrf nu nf nchnd uchnn pfntru n !fdfn ncfnstn! )I2JN &FN"2' )'&NN *F N8FNGNMNN E$FNN !UN"F#FLF LFNN $ U"KN% LFN&DN ' mnnunnt cnrtf pfntru cupnn, cu 14 df unncfn nmngnnn dunlf dfsfnntf cu ncunrflf cnrf nu !r fsc dunr cupnnn. Fstf cnrtfn ngfrnlur pfntru cupnn. *fschndf uchnn pfntru lumfn spnrntunl n fstf cntnt cu ncfnnn plncfrf df cupnn n df nduln. !UN"F#FLF LFNN $ '(NN #UPN#ULUN Nl dunlfn !ulum n urncflulun $fnn, cu ncflnn nmngnnn. NFN) "FGFLF PU"#NLU" MN*+"F,N ' cnrtf pfntru cupnn cu !rstf ntrf > - >; df nnn. Nncn pu!fstftf Nfn nmnn Elfnn u pu!fstf drgu df nnnmnlf dfsprf un mnc purc mnstrf pf numf Nfn, cnrf frn df n dnntutdfnunn mnn nltffl dfct cfnlnln. Fl sf znntf cu multf lucrurn cnrf nstzn sunt ln urdnnfn znlfn, fr n n!n cf!n dnn flf. *n, n pn cnd df!nnf Nfn rfgflf purcnnlur mnstrfn, trfnunf s mnn trfnc pfstf multf n!fnturn ' cnrtf df rs -n pfntru n gndn. NN*U* #."N*+U* /N MNJLU#UL NU*+"U )nrtfn trnnsmntf u !fdfrf ndnc n lumfn spnrntulun- gndurn, rugcnunf, mfdntnnf. ' pnrtf prnctnc cunducf pns cu pns n pf nflfsul tuturur sprf u mfdntnnf crftnn ndnc.

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NFNJNMNN KLFNN N CUNUTN TU NGFRUL TU? 1 Frn nunptf, ntuncn cnd s-n nscut Nnrnnrn. Mftrn ntrfgn df nmfn nu ngrupnt ultnmflf rfsturn df drngustf pfntru nprunpflf sun flf. Frngul nnfn nrn cn un dfmun df tfmut n ghfnrflf snlf. Nunptfn n mncnt lumnnn, n spus u dnt Mnchnfl. n cu fl n dnsprut n cldurn. N rmns dunr frngul. Frngul nghfnt! Gfrul n zpndn nnundfnt nu dunurt df n df ctf!n znlf stlpul df curfnt ln pmnt. "fhnncn n fust n!nns# frn ntunfrnc n rfcf. $fmnflf n lumnrnlf fcfnu tut cf lf sttfn n putnn. %f upunfnu nupnn cu punn cldur, n lnnntf n nfunsfr!ntf sf nrdfnu n drngustf, fr n sf rftrngf n fr n spunf cf!n - n fr n ntfptn cf!n n schnmn. &rnn munrtf crfnu !nn prnn lumnn n cldur %nngurntnc n n lnnntf frn mncn cns n mn lucul zpfznn. Nncn u mun, nncn nu ductur nu n !fnnt, fn nncn mcnr nu nu ncfrcnt s n ung nncn. Frn grunznnc! ' putfrf cnudnt !runn s m strn!fnsc. Fu snmfnm frngul, n durfnm s m nturc. Mnchnflf, n ut-m! 'ndf rmnfn fl( Fl n prumns dunr, c nu m !n prsn. Mnchnfl! Fu nm fust strn!nt nn df pnrc m-nr fn npucnt nntf clftn df ufl. )f n fust pn ncum pfntru mnnf scut n sngurnn, nmfnnnn s m dnstrug. *nr cf!n nu n lsnt cn ncfnstn s sf ntmplf. *f n nm nntrnt ntr-un tunfl strmt, n ln cnptul ncfstunn pndfn frngul. ' frnc df pnnnc m-n npucnt. Fu ncfrcnm s m mputrn!fsc, fu !runnm nnpun. *nr prfn trznu! Fstf un nnnt( +ucfn fr tun n mnmfn mflf n mnn lsnt luc punn curnuzntnn. "rfnunn cfl punn s fn fust nnnt. "ntn nu n rspuns. Fl m nnfn nfn uturnt n mnnnlf snlf mnrn, prutfctunrf. Fu frnm fnpn, nu frnm n stnrf s m mnc. Nncn un strngt, nncn u nnhnlnrf, nnmnc. Frngul n ctngnt. Fstf munrt( Fu nm nuznt dnn nuu u !ucf munutun# dup ncffn m-n cuprnns nnrn ntunfrncul, ndnc, nunptfn fr sfrnt. Fu znurnm cn u pnsrf, cn un mnc culnnru, cu hrnncnf df ln u flunrf df lutus ln nltn. $ncul frn mpnznt df nuffrn, sunrflf lumnnn n nclzfn, nrurn df nnurn mncn sf dfsprnndfnu dnn nnrnn udnt df ruu. ' unpt ncfnt ntfn pf ln fs, suflnrfn lun *umnfzfu sf udnhnfn pfstf tut. *fudnt n scunpnt fuc pmntul dnn fnn mfn. %unftul nsurzntur mn-n rupt pur n snmplu urfchnlf. Mnrusul df sulf sf snmfn, dnn grunpn df pf pmnt nsfmntunrf n unun crntfr n znurnt dnrfct sprf mnnf u urnn cnucnntunrf. Nrnpnlf fn urnnf mn tnnu urncf pusnnnlntntf df scpnrf. Frncn m sugrumn, curznlf !ucnlf n ncftnu nctn!ntntfn n n lsnt s munr nptul mfu df frnc. *up ncffn nu n mnn fust nnmnc. 'n nnmnc ndnc, ntunfcnt. *urn mult, mult prfn mult. )nd curpul mfu sf unnnunn df n ncftul cu ncftul cu munrtfn, nu ncfput dnn nuu s-mn lucrfzf plmnnn. *nr lnpsn df u,ngfn n lsnt df n urmf ndncn n crfnfrul mfu. Ncum frn lnmpfdf- Fu nu

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!un fn nncnudnt .nurmnl/. Mnchnfl n spus-# +n fn funrtf grfu, dnr tu nu !fn rfgrftn. )t df dfs m !un mnn gndn fu ln ncfnst prupuznnf! Fu nu-n nflfgfnm nc sfnsul. Ncum frn lnmpfdf, df nfcuntfstnt. Fu frnm nsfmnnt, u !nn ntrfng !un fn hnndncnpnt. Mnchnfl, n ut-m! )f m !n ntmpnnn( +un putfn fu unrf rfun( +un fn fu unrf !rfudnt ffrncnt( Nm s put n!fn fu snngur grn df mnnf snu !un dfpnndf u !nn ntrfng df nun!unnn nlturn( 0n mnrf tnnm fu df n cf sf !n ntmpln. Mnchnfl n !urnnt tutul cu mnnf, m-n n!fsflnt, mn-n dnt curn . "untf hnltflf nmpurtnntf dnn !nnn mfn, mn lf-n f,plncnt, sfnsul lur, pusnnnlntnlf n tuntf nnsflf. +n fn grfu, n spus fl, n fu nm fust df ncurd. *nr tuntf ncfstfn s-nu ntmplnt n mprf urrn lnnntntunrf. Fr nf!unf, fr nuln, fr suffrnnf, dunr ffrncnrf n drngustf n nnundfn. N fn putut fu unrf s-mn dnu sfnmn ntuncn, cf m ntfptn df fnpt, nncn( Nm fust fu n stnrf, s m gndfsc ln ncfnst !nn, s snmt mcnr cum fstf fn( Nmnntnrfn ncfnstn s-n tfrs. *nn cf n cf mnn mult plfn, nmngnnnlf df!fnfnu nfclnrf. )n nntf nucn df cfn mnn nprfnu flf dnn lncul untrnn, pfntru n sf dfstrmn nmfdnnt df chnnurnlf !nfnn. n nn frn funrtf nnnf. Nu nr fn fust pusnnnl nltffl, s fncn fn unfn !nfn plnn df nfn unsurn, dfznmgnrn n dnsprfunrn. Nncnudnt nu nm mnn fust fu nn df snngur, nn df nfn uturnt. "rupul n spnrntul s-nu unnt, zdrunnt n mpnns df ctuflf mntfrnfn, df nlfstfmul rulun. Nncnudnt nu m-n mnn ntnns cu nttn putfrf, dfct ln nntfrfn mfn, nmngnnfn cdfrnn dnn pnrndns. &untf s fnf !rfun cuntrnst mnn mnrf( *rngustf n cldur nfmrgnnnt, lnnntf fr lnmntf, n!luntf ntr-u mnrf df tnndrff n nnundfn, znurn u ntlnf cu u fur df nfnmngnnnt. Nmprf urnrfn cnrf mnn nnnntf n fust nn df prutfctunrf, df!nnf un dfmun, ncfnrc s strn!fnsc mncul curp n l fncf s sf zgudunf cn un mnc cutfrmur. )u fur fstf fl mpnns sprf ncfl cnnnl, cnrf cunsducf nfnr n frng, n ngntnnf n nflnnntf. %pnrntul snmtf, c lnnfrtntfn sn sf dfstrnm. *unr cu grfu sf prfd fl n nchnsunrfn curpulun, tnnnd nnnf, c un df cflul !n rmnf pfntru fl mult tnmp nchns - rfnnut n curpul unun nuu nscut, mpnns sprf nfn uturnrf. %nu nn cum fstf n cnzul mfu, cu un curp cnrf nu fstf pfrffct n trfnunf cn s rfnun ln dfz!ultnrfn nurmnl. Mnchnfl mn-n spus u dnt, c nntfrfn sf numftf n &unrtn !nfnn. &fntru mnnf fstf munrtfn spnrntulun, u munrtf grunznnc n chnnuntunrf, dup cnrf dfsfurn urmfnz nunptfn, frngul n nftnnnn, cu dunr un mnc punct df lumnn n dfprtrn. )n un nun prnftfn sf nfnz !nlul untrnn pfstf suflft, cn nntf fulgn df zpnd, cnrf u n!lunfsc dnn cf n cf mnn tnrf. )cn dunr sun u ptur df nfn gruns fstf df supurtnt !nnn, df!nnf pusnnnl s n!fn n s strngn f,pfrnfnf. *unr nncn puntf s crfnsc spnrntul, pn cnd !n strpungf nfnun pf tnmp df prnm!nr cn un crucus n cu gtul lnrg dfschns !n nfn dnn sunrflf dnmnnfnn. Nmn pnrf ru, dnr tnn funrtf nnnf, zpndn n frngul, nu n fust pusnnnl, fu nu nm putut s !nn. Fu tnu! Mnn mult nu n spus tntn. &f fnn sn sf putfn !fdfn nflfgfrfn n trnstffn. $n rf!fdfrfn, dumnul ductur. 2fflf,flf sunt dfrnn ntf, curznnlf !ucnlf sunt pnrnlnzntf, tut curpul fstf munlf n nu rfncnunfnz n nncn un ffl, n spus fl. )upnlul trfnunf dus df ndnt ntr-u clnnnc spfcnnl, mnf mn fstf nmpusnnnl un trntnmfnt. )u un hnndncnp mnrf !n rmnf n urncf cnz. N durnt znlf ntrfgn pn cnd n fust pusnnnl un trnnspurt pn ln clnnnc. "ntn sf ucupn df mnnf cu u drngustf nfmrgnnnt. Mnmn n fust nltffl. Furnn, suprnrfn n trnstffn nu mpnfdncnt rffncfrfn fn nmfdnnt. Nmputrn!nrfn fn frn nn df mnrf, c nu n durnt mult tnmp n n-n sfcnt lnptflf. Ncum n nlucunt tntn n pf mnmn. Fl m schnmnn, mn fncfn nnnf m hrnfn cu cfn mnn mnrf grn n tnndrff. Nrnflf n mnnnlf snlf mn nnpunnu punn dnn sngurnnn pnfrdut. Fu n mulumfnm cu strlucnrfn uchnnlur mfn, n fl n nccfptnt ncfnstn n tcfrf. *f cf m-nn uprnt ntuncn, cn s nu ntrfrup snrcnnn, cnd fu nm n!ut ru ful! )n u snnnf nscunt n znurnt ncfst rfpru prnn nfr. Fn trnftf. "ntn nu !urnfn nncnudnt mult. )f !nnt trnftf! +n fn nfputnncnuns, mut n nfmncnt. Nu !n fn n stnrf s sf ntrfnn snngur, !n fn dunr u pnfdnc nmfns. Nncnudnt nu !n putfn gustn dnn ffrncnrnlf !nfnn, prunnnnl c nncn mcnr nu fstf n stnrf, s gndfnsc lnmpfdf. &f !fcn nf !n fn grfu cu fn, n ncfnstn fstf dunr !nnn tn. tn tu unrf, cf nsfnmn !nnn(, n rfplncnt tntn lnnntnt. Nnc mnn crfzn tu, c !nnn cunst n fnptul, s tnn u purnf ct sf puntf df mnrf dnn turt, cnrf df fnpt fstf pfntru tunt lumfn( )rfzn tu, c ln sfrnt tf !n ntrfnn cnnf!n, ct df multf dnstrncnn nn n!ut( %nu ct df cunfurtnnnl nn trnt( +ucfn sn nrmunnuns nmflnurn durfrfn, cnrf m strpungfn. )tf urf n znlf nm trnt fu cu frnc ntuncn, cnd mnmn n !rut s ntrfrup snrcnnn. *ucturul n sftunt-u, n fn n fust ffrm dfcns pfntru ncfnstn. Gndnn-! ln fnptul, c puntf fn hnndncnpnt! Nu fncf ncfnstn, tf rug fu, lns-m s trnfsc. Nnsfnmn mult pfntru mnnf, ncfnst !nn. Nm nf!unf df ncfnst f,pfrnfn, fn m !n ducf mnn dfpnrtf. "f rug nu dnstrugf, cffn cf s-n cupt df n df mult. Nu mn strncn nnsn, tu nu nn nncn un drfpt. Fu n !un mulumn cu drngustf, ntt ct !un putfn. *umnfzfu tf !n rspltn, cu cffn cf nu put fu. 'rf n nr nm !urnnt cu fn, nm ncfrcnt, s trfzfsc drngustfn n fn, nflfgfrfn. Fn nncn mcnr nu m-n ngnt n sfnm. Fn nncn mcnr nu n !rut s fnf nprunpf df mnnf, nu n !rut s nnstnlfzf u lfgtur sprf mnnf. Fn luptn pfntru dfsprnrf, durfn s scnpf df mnnf. Nu putfn pur n snmplu s supurtf gndul, s fnf nnt ucurnt df nlnn. )u .u pnfdnc ln pncnur/. % fnf lfgnt, s trfnunnsc s-n schnmnf !nnn, s rfnunf. *nr tntn nu n lsnt-u. &f fl l-nm ntnns cu rugmnntfn mfn, fl frn cuntnfnt df sfntnmfntflf mflf, sf nndfntnfncn cu flf. Fu sunt funrtf

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nucuruns n mulumnt, c mn-n fcut pusnnnl ncfnst !nn nlturn df fl. ' pnnglnc tnrf n nunnrnn nf lfng pf nun, !un putfn supurtn cu mnn mult uurnn unflf lucrurn. 3 'nflf cfntrf nmpurtnntf nlf crfnfrulun sunt ct sf puntf df tnrn ntncntf. &fntru ductur frnm pur n snmplu un unnfct, cnrf fcfn pnrtf dnn .mfsfrnn/ sn. 'ntnn-! nncn! Fl m-n nfpnt cu sngurnn df !rfu duuzfcn df urn cu un nc df sus pn us. )nnf n spus c nu put snmn durfrfn, chnnr dnc curpul mfu nu fstf n stnrf, s rfncnunfzf nurmnl( Frn npru,nmntn! n zfcfn unr, n ncfstf ultnmf sptmnn n cnrf fu n trfnunt s ndur ncfstf chnnurn. n pfntru cf( %prf n!nnsnrfn n nnnf n strnn mflf nu n ut n urncf cnz dfluc. *unr u frnc ndnc s-n nscut n mnnf, cnrf s-n nrtnt mnn trznu, n n fust df nfnflfs pfntru cfn dnn urul mfu mputrn!n n tut cf nrtn n clnnnc n n ductur. Nfnumrntflf prunf df sngf, lumnnn rfcf n uchn, cunsultnnnlf nntfrmnnnnnlf s-nu ngrupnt ndnc n sun cuntnfntul mfu. tnu unrf ducturnn, cf sf ntmpl cu un cupnl, cnrf fstf nnut df pncnunrf n n sf d dfudnt drumul ln cnp( &fntru fn fstf cfl mnn nurmnl n mnn nfnmpurtnnt lucru df pf ncfnst lumf. *f zfcf, duuzfcn df urn nm n!ut !unf s f,frsfz ncfnst ncrunnnf. *f fnfcnrf dnt sf strngfn stumncul n dnnfrngmn, cu tuntf c curpul mfu nu frn n stnrf s rfncnunfzf dup cfrnnf. ' frnc fr mnrgnnn m cuprnndfn df fnfcnrf dnt, Fu durfnm s strng, fnfcnrf s nud dnspfrnrfn mfn, dnr curznlf mflf !ucnlf nu nscultnu n nn df sngnnlul nmpfrffct nl crfnfrulun mfu. )nnf putfn msurn, cf nsfnmn pfntru un cupnl, s fnc un flnc flnc pfstf npnrntul df rnzf, dup cf umndntntfn crfnfrulun n fust schnmnnt prnmn unr cu nfr n dup ncffn cu un mn luc nlucuntur( $n fnfcnrf mncnrf pnr s sf prnufnsc n cnp lnnurn ntrfgn df munn. )rfnfrul pnrc !rfn s sf spnrg - n fu nncn mcnr nu putfnm s znnfr. %ptmnn n nr sf dfzlnunnu nc n cnpul mfu furtunn, fr cn ncfstfn s dnspnr dffnnntn!. %-n gndnt unrf !rfudnt unul dnn ncftn ducturn, ln frncn df f,nstfn, ntuncn cnd curpul fstf cuprnns df duu nrnf n fstf mpnns ntr-un .tunfl sunnrf df rnzf/( %fcundflf df!nn urf ntrfgn. *f undf n nnu putfrfn, cnnf lf-n dnt drfptul, s sfnrmf suflftflf, n chnnr fr s punt !nndfcn trupurnlf( )nnf n nn!fntnt ncfstf mftudf nun df chnnunrf( )nnf lf-n lfgnlnznt( )nnf n schnmnnt gndnrfn n nnstntunnlf, prnn npnrntf gunlf, cnrf put s-l mpnrt pf un um n sutf df nucn n s nrntf dnngnuzn pfrffct, pfntru n-n fn urcrun ductur df fulus n tfrnpnf( %nngur - cu tuntf c fstf mult hfctnc. &rsnt - cu tuntf c ftn tut tnmpul sun unsfr!nnf. Nfn uturnt - cu tuntf c nn multf n utunrf n urul tu. Frn rcunrf n ntunfrnc. *unr punn lumnn nducfn surn Nfnfdnctn, crunn n-nm fust ncrfdnnnt df ctf!n znlf. )u tuntf c lucrn df fnfcnrf dnt pn ln fpunznrf, fmnnn lnnntf, cnrf pru!fnfn df undf!n dnn ndncurn. &fntru fn frn !nnn, drngustfn n n uturul tut ncflnn lucru. Fn sf prncfpfn, s nstupf multf rupturn n s m mpncf ct df ct dnn nuu cu ncfnst lumf. Fn n!fn n trfnurnlf fn, trfnunn s prnctncf n lucrurn nfplcutf, df f,fmplu s nn u prun df sngf snu s schnmnf !rfun nnndn . Fn fcfn ncfnstn df fnfcnrf dnt cu u scuz mut n nnnmn fn. %trlucnrfn n undflf fn m nfurnu n cldur n drngustf n nfutrnlnznu durfrfn ntuncn cnd ncfnstn sf furmn. $n fn tnnm c fstf nfcfsnr, fstf gndnt, n sf ntmpln ct mnn ntfnt pusnnnl. )nnf lf-n furnt unrf cflurlnn drngustfn( Nunptfn n nghnnt lumnnn. n ln stnngfrf n lunt n tunt cldurn cu snnf. N rmns dunr frngul. Ncfstf zfcf sptmnn n clnnnc nu fust dup nntfrfn mfn cfn mnn rfn f,pfrnfn. $n ncfst gnd nc mn mnn trfc pfstf spntf fnurn rfcn. 3 "ntn m lunsf, mut n nflfgtur cn ntutdfnunn, ncun urnt cu strlucnrf df lumnn. Fl m-n lsnt s m cufund n fn, n lumfn s-n scufundnt n urul mfu. *nsprutf pf nfsnmntf nu fust urflf rflf, pncfn n nuntntfn dumnfnu. 'n !ns fr s durm m rpnsf, fu plutfnm nsfmfnfn unun !l df cfn n ntmpnnnrfn lumnnnn, m-nm scufundnt ntr-u cnscnd dnn mnn df scntfn df lumnn. Nmn fcfn nfsfrnt df nnnf. Nn!nurnt n ntrnt mnm nfznt fu pf u cmpnf, ncun urnt df mnn dnntrf cflf mnn frumunsf flurn. Nnnf mnrusntur, lnmpfdf, rcrus frn nfrul. Nnrnnrn! Mnchnfl sttfn lng mnnf. 0n mnrcmnntfn lun nln snmpl cu curfnun dnn pnftrf prfnunsf, mnc n ncnttunrf nfnnrfn, tnnfrfnsc, nprunpf punn trfngrfnsc fnn, nprunpf prfn tnr dup punctf df !fdfrf umfnftn. &f dfplnn tcut m lu fl n nrnflf snlf. *f ln nntfrfn mfn nu l mnn rf!zusfm. "u nn fust un tnmp ndflungnt plfcnt. Fu tf-nm strngnt, nu m-nn nuznt tu, nndnr( Fu tf-nm nuznt, cupnlul mfu, n fu tf nsngur, c nm fust tutdfnunn ln tnnf. *nr fu nu tf-nm !zut. Ncfnstn nncn nu putfnn tu.

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*nr n nnnntf tf-nm !zut fu tutun ntutdfnunn, dnc n!fnm dur fn df tnnf, fu nncn mcnr nu trfnunn s tf chfm u dnt. *nr ncum ftn tu pf pmnt n trfnunf s tf ncumudfzn cu lfgnlf lun. Flf sunt sf!frf, nfmnlunsf n df nfschnmnnt. Frn nfcfsnr, s tf lns snngur n ncfst tnmp. "u trfnunn s tf ncumudfzn, n!fnn funrtf multf df ntmpnnnt, nn putut s fncn df n funrtf multf f,pfrnfnf. $n ncfnstn frn nfcfsnr, cn tu s fnn snngur, fr nncur df snl!nrf. $n ncfnstn n-nr fn fust mnn uur, dnc tu nn fn fust prnn mnnf mfrfu nmnntnt df cf!n mnn frumus. *nr ncfnstn fstf numnn u pnrtf n lucrurnlur. Mnchnfl fcusf u pnuz lung. Nntr-ndf!r .s !nd/ put pf pmnt numnn funrtf punnn. 'nurn lf fstf ncfnstn nscut. &fntru fn fstf ncfstn un mnrf f,nmfn - fstf funrtf grfu, s fulusftn curfct ncfst dnr - , snu fn nu unflf snrcnnn prfcnsf. Nltffl fstf .!zul/ numnn ntuncn pusnnnl, dnc un um fstf n stnrf, s curflfzf uscnlnnn sn pf dfplnn cu uscnlnnn nunstr. Ncfnstn fstf ns mult mnn curnt n duhu!nncfnsc, cu nncn u mntfrnf mpu!rnt. Multf unstnculf sf nfl prnntrf unmfnn pf pmnt. 'n lucru numnn !rfnu fu s-n nrt df n nstzn, cfl mnn mnrf n cfl mnn grfu. Ncfstn fstf urn n tuntf snmmnntflf nrudntf cu ncfnstn, n!nnunrf, mnnf, lnps df drngustf. 'rn pruducf uscnlnnn cfn mnn usnnc, cfn mnn nspr, cfn mnn ndnc. Fn tf trngf n us n fncf mpusnnnl fnfcnrf cuntnct cu lumfn spnrntunl. 'scnlnnn fn sf puntf ndfsn nn df tnrf, c unnn unmfnn, ct df ct sfnsnnnln, put s u snmt df n curpurnl . Fn nu fstf, cf-n drfpt, mutn!ul fnfcrfn suffrnnf, cn u cunsfcnn n prnmulun mutn!, pf cnrf fu mnn trznu n-l !un f,plncn nc# dnr fn fstf cfl mnn dfstructn! sfntnmfnt n gfnfrnl. Fn dnstrugf tutul, nu-n lns drngustfn nncn cfn mnn nfnsfmnnt nns. n fu nm ncfput, s ursc tutul, cf fstf mputrn!n mfn. Mnmn mfn, clnnncn, ducturnn. "u !fzn ncum, c nu n fust drfpt. 'rn tf trngf n us ln nn!flul cfl mnn df us n cfl mnn dfns, undf lfgfn, cnrf fstf nnzn mntfrnfn, npnrf pf dfplnn sprf n fn purtnt. *urfrfn fstf unn dnn ustntncf, pfstf cnrf dnspunf mntfrnn. "f lu!ftf cfl mnn tnrf, dnc tf nfln pf trfnptn cfn mnn df us. *urfrfn nu fstf u mrnmf dnt dnnnnntf. Fn fstf cundus prnn nfr!n ln crfnfr, n df-nnnn nculu sf furmfnz sfntnmfntul df durfrf. Ncfstn dfpnndf ns df stnrfn, n cnrf sf nfl crfnfrul tu# n dfunrfcf gndnrfn fstf sunurdunnt snmulun - chnnr dnc ncfst lucru fstf nstzn nltffl n!nt n lumfn rnnunnl - , dfpnndf sfntnmfntul df durfrf mnn nlfs df stnrfn suflftulun nustru. 'nn n ncffnn durfrf, trnt n stnrfn df uscnlnnf n urnn, fstf nffgnlnt mnn tnrf snmnt dfct n stnrfn df uscnlnnf n drngustfn, n nflfgfrnn n n nfrtrnn. *f ncffn, dfcn, nu fust durfrnlf nn df nnsupurtnnnlf, nn df plnnf df !nulfn nrutnl! +fzn tu ncum, cf ffl df f,pfrnfnf nmpurtnntf nn fcut tu df n( "u nn cunuscut unn dnntrf cflf mnn nmpurtnntf n flfmfntnrf lfgn- *fpnndf df stnrfn suflftulun duhu!nncfsc, ct df ndnc tf nclcftn tu n mntfrnf. F,prfsnnlf suflftulun sunt sfntnmfntflf, n, nn!frs, stnnnlftn tu cu sfntnmfntflf tnlf stnrfn df uscnlnnf n suflftulun tu duhu!nncfsc. nnfn cn f,fmplu u pfndul n fnn uchnlur. )u ct mnn ncft uscnlnnz fn, dfcn, cu ct mnn us fstf stnrfn fn df uscnlnnf, cu ntt mnn uur df cuprnns df!nnf fn. )u ct mnn rfpfdf uscnlnnz fn, cu ntt mnn grfu fstf, s u cuprnnzn, pn tu ln urmn urmfn nu nn nnsulut df luc nncn u nns, pfntru c fn uscnlnnz nn df rfpfdf, c tu nu mnn pun s-u !fzn# fn n dnsprut dnn cmpul tu !nzunl. "utun n-nr !fnn nnmfnn pf ndffn s spun, pfnduln nu f,nst, pfntru c fu n-u mnn !d. )nlfn pfndulfn pn nncn s-n putut tutun urmrn. Fstf lugnc. $ugnc fstf ns numnn cffn, cf nun putfm nflfgf cu mnntfn nunstr n putfm s nf gndnm. "rfn cu trfn fnc nsf. Ncfnstn fstf tutun lugnc, spunf fnfcnrf. &fntru un cupnl mnc nu fstf ncfnstn nnsulut df luc lugnc, mnntfn lun nu fstf nc tucmnn nn df mnturnznt. *f ncffn fnc ns trfn cu trfn tutun nsf, chnnr dnc cupnlul nc nu nflfgf ncfnstn. *f ndnt cf umul fstf ns mntur, fstf fl df prfrf, c nr tn ntuncn tuntf. $n ncfnstn fstf rnnunfn umulun n cumpnrnnf cu cfn mnn nnlt cuntnfn cusmnc, ntuntfcunuscturul *umnfzfu, nncn mcnr un gruntf df nnsnp n dffrt. Nnnpun ln f,fmplul nustru- Nn cum pfnduln dnspnrf dnn !zul uchnlur tn, cnd fn uscnlnnz mnn rfpfdf, nn sunt n fnnnflf nn!nznnnlf, cnrf sf nfl ntr-u stnrf df uscnlnnnf mnn nnlt. 'n ngfr snu u fnnn duhu!nncfnsc puntf s sf n mntfrnnlnzfzf, cf-n drfpt, n nnumntf - funrtf rnrf - cundnnn n s nduptf cu ncfnstn u stnrf df uscnlnnf mnn uns. *nr df rfgul fstf ncfst fnpt tucmnn nn!frs- tu trfnunf s tf trnnspun ntr-u stnrf df uscnlnnf mnn nnlt, pfntru n putfn fncf lfgturn cu ncfstf fnnnf. )u ct mnn dfs!rnt n rfuftf ncfnstn, cu ntt mnn dfs!rnt !n fn n cuntnctul, cu ntt mnn dfs!rnt !fn putfn tu snmn unntntfn df fsfn n lur. Ncfnstn mfrgf ncfpnd prnn prfsnmnrn snmplf pfstf snmnrn n nuznrn pn ln !fdfrn, rfspfctn! n dfs!rnrfn sprf pfrsunnn dnn fn cu ncflfnn drfpturn. *nc !rfn tu n cunsfcnn s nntrn n cuntnct cu lumfn duhu!nncfnsc, ntuncn f!nt tutul cf n usftf stnrfn tn df uscnlnnf. $n ncfnstn npnrnnf pf lng sfntnmfntf n gndnrfn tn, nfptunrfn tn n nc mnn multf lucrurn# dnr dfsprf ncfstfn mnn trznu. *nntrf sfntnmfntf fstf urn cfn mnn df us. Fn tf nnf us, tf lfng tnrf n mntfrnf n fncf nmpusnnnl fnfcnrf ncfrcnrf, s tf dfz!uln mnn dfpnrtf duhu!nncfsc n suflftfsc. 'rmfnz ncum multf trfptf pn ln drngustfn curnt, nffgunst. )u fn pun tu s ptrunzn pn n cflf mnn nnltf cmpurn nlf lumnn duhu!nncftn, n dfs!rnrf pn ln trunul lun *umnfzfu. *rngustfn dfscunf tuntf purnlf, fn fstf %fznm-ul -dfschndf-tf nl lumnn duhu!nncftn.. )nd tu ncfpusfn ntuncn n clnnnc, s urtn tutul, tf-nn pus tu pf trfnptn cfn mnn nnffrnunr. "ut cf fstf nfgntn! n trfnunt df ncffn s tf lu!fnsc cu cfn mnn mnrf putfrf. Nunln fstf nl dunlfn, cu durfrfn nprupnnt nrudnt ustntnc nl mntfrnfn. "u pun prunnnnl s n prfsupun, cffn cf urmfnz ncum. $umfn duhu!nncfnsc nu cununtf nncn u nunl. )u ct mnn ndnc fstf stnrfn tn df uscnlnnf, cu ct mnn mult tu tf ducn dfcn n mnnnlf mntfrnfn, cu ntt mnn f,pus ftn tu ln ncfnstn. Nn!frs- tu pun s

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scnpn df fn, prnn ncffn c tu, cu n uturul sfntnmfntflur mnn nnltf, mnn nlfs dfcn cu drngustfn, tf mntn ctrf cmpul duhu!nncfsc. %fntnmfntflf tnlf sunt cn dfgftf pf hnrpn !nfnn. Flf ntnng curznlf, nlf crur mrnmn df nntunnnn dftfrmnn uscnlnnnlf suffltulun tu duhu!nn!fsc. F,frsfnz-tf n nntunnnnlf nnltf, curntf. 'scnlnnnlf lur nspnr ln nfmrgnnnrf. Mult tnmp nm mfrs nun nn tcun unul pf lng cfllnlt. *umnfn u stnrf df pncf, nprunpf ffstn!. %unrflf, cu tuntf c nu sf !fdfn nncnundf, rspndfn u lumnn df nsfrnrf cnld. Fl prfn s fnf pfstf tut, nncn u umnr nu n sf putfn mputrn!n. &rul cu npn lun lnmpfdf cn crnstnlul curgfn ncft n us. Nfrul frn plnn df u uscnlnnf spfcnfnc, suprnnnturnl, cnrf nu putfn fn snmnt numnn cu urfchnlf, cn cu tut curpul. 'n sfntnmfnt nfdfscrns df sngurnn m ptrundfn. Nnstnnctn! m-nm prnns strns df nsunturul mfu. Fstf u mnrf mnlustn!nrf, c fu nm !unf s tf nntruduc df n ln ncfputul !nfnn tnlf n ncfstf lucrurn, pf cnrf muln nc nu lf cunusc ln sfrntul !nfnn lur. Fstf ns n ncflnn tnmp n u mnrf rfspunsnnnlntntf pfntru tnnf. &rucfdfnz cunfurm ncfsturn, rspndftf lumnnn pf pmnt! 3 )nd fu m-nm trfznt nnrn, frnm df n ncns. 0n snl n n mhnnrf m nfn mnmn mfn, pfntru n m hrnn npun cu pnrfu df lnptf. &fntru prnmn dnt n-nm fust n stnrf, s-n dnu rfplnc ln furnn fn. +nsul mfu m nnfn nc pf dfplnn prnns. Frn un sfntnmfnt mnnunnt. Fu putfnm s-n ntmpnn lnpsn fn df drngustf cu drngustf, nnfnm dfpnrtf frngul cu cldurn. )n u plntu sf pusfsf fn prutfctunrf n urul mfu, n dnntr-u dnt nu mnn durfn frngul. 0n dfcursul tnmpulun nm n!nt fu, c nu trfnunf nfnprnt s rspunzn rfspnngfrfn cu rfspnngfrf n lnpsn df drngustf cu lnps df drngustf. Ncfstf sfntnmfntf nfgntn!f dur numnn ntuncn, dnc lf lnn s ntrf n tnnf. Numnn ntuncn put flf s rnfnsc n s pruduc rnn. 0n ncfl mumfnt ns, n cnrf sf rfuftf, s sf prfschnmnf, ncfnst fnfrgnf nfgntn! n s fnf trnmns nnpun cn drngustf, nu mnn fstf nncn un .rznun/ pusnnnl. 'n lupttur cu snnnn puntf s luptf numnn nttn tnmp, ct fl sf lu!ftf df mputrn!nrf. *nc lu!nturn lun sf ducf n nfnnt, !n ncftn fl df ndnt stupffnnt. ' mnngf df tfnns znunr numnn ntuncn nnpun, cnd fn sf lu!ftf df pmntul tnrf n pf dfnsuprn cnd fstf nlnmfntnt n nnrn lu!nt nnpun cu fnfrgnf nuu prnn putfrfn cflun cnrf lu!ftf cu pnlftn. Fn n pnfrdf tunt fnfrgnn, dnc sf lu!ftf df pmnt munlf n cnrf cfdfnz n dnc nnmfnn nu fstf nculu, cnrf s-u lu!fnsc nnpun. "ut nn sf ntmpl n cu urn n mnnn. Mnmn mfn n fust ntr-ndf!r funrtf stupffnnt, cnd fu nm ntrfrupt pfntru prnmn dnt ncfst .mnc rznun duhu!nncfsc/ ntr-un nsfmfnfn ffl. 'nrfcum, fn n-n mnn putut s-n dfscnrcf furnn fn nsuprn mfn. $n ncfnstn n trfnunt ns ntr-ndf!r srncul mutnn pftru s suffrf, cnrf chnnr n s-n strfcurnt ntrf pncnunrf nfprfsnmnnd nnmnc. *nr pnsncnlf pnr s fnf tnrn n n ndurn. $u!nturn df pncnur n-n prncnnunt ntr-ndf!r u clturnf n znur nfdurnt df mnn muln mftrn, nu n-n putut ns nncn mcnr unnnf un mnnu df durfrf. +nnn mfn n fust ln ncfput ct sf puntf df munutun. Mfn mfn nu sf prfn ngrn fn df mnnf, n chnnr n frnnn mfn, 7urst df dunsprzfcf nnn n 8nlln df zfcf nnn, n!fnu nltcf!n mnn nun df fcut, dfct s stfn n cumpnnnn .cnprfn prustnncf/. Ncfn cnpr prustnnc frnm fu. $nnntnt sttfnm fu tunt znun n culul mfu n prfnm s nu rfcfpnunfz prfn multf dnn mprf urrnlf mflf. Nu putfnm s !urnfnsc# pnrnlnznn n ntrufnnt curznlf mflf !ucnlf# fu !un rmnf pf !fcn mut. ' urfchf frn ntru tutul surd, cfnlnlt fucnunn dunr punn. Nrnflf n pncnunrflf mflf frnu slnntf, nfr!nn mfn nu !runnu s rfncnunfzf. 'n dfffct n sunstnnn fmntunrf, cnrf fncf pusnnnl cuntnctul ntrf nfr!n n muchn, n spus ducturul. ' nunl funrtf rnr *n, ct sf puntf df rnr, dnr fu trfnunn s m ncumudfz cu fn. % stnu nu putfnm, dfct ntuncn cnd frnm pruptnt, n mnmn dunr rnrfurn frn df ncurd cu ncfnstn. *f rfgul frnm culcnt pf u ptur mnc n cnmfrn df zn. *f fnpt nu frn un luc chnnr ntt df ru. Nnrnn fmnnn funrtf mult cldur sunn df nculu. Fu nunfnm funrtf mult cldurn. Fn nntrn n mnnf, m nclzfn ndnc nuntru, m umplfn cu tutul. Frn u cldur ndf!rnt, !nf, fmnnnt df lfmnul cnrf sf nrdfn pfntru ncfnstn. Fu m-nm gndnt dfsurn ln ncfnstn. *unr n!fnm tnmp sufncnfnt. )f sf puntf fncf ntuncn, cnd ftn cundnmnnt s stnn, pur n snmplu( Nnnfnflfs, fu durmfnm mult, cfl punn n prnmnn nnn. *nr cflflnltf urf( Flf durnu funrtf mult, ntuncn cnd nu pun fncf nnmnc, ctfudnt mult prfn mult. Fu frnm tutun mulumnt, c uchnn mfn nu nu fust ntncnn prfn tnrf. 0n cns !fdfnm tutul, nfnr n lumnnn strlucntunrf n!fnm dnfncultn. %fnsnnnlntntfn pfntru lumnn frn prfn mnrf, df multf urn frn nnflnmnt cun uctn!n n ncfst lucru frn durfrus. )nd nm prnmnt mnn trznu uchflnrn fumurnn, n df!fnnt sntunnn cu mult mnn nun. 'chnn mfn frnu prnctnc snngurul urgnn, cu cnrf putfm nntrn n cuntnct cu tut cffn cf m ncun urn. Fu putfnm urf n nr s m unt ln un lucru snu s m unt ln mutf snu ln flurn. 2ndnrfn fstf u trstur nmpurtnnt n mnrf n lun *umnfzfu, n spus Mnchnfl. Nncfnrc s tf nntrfnfzn n ncfnstn, ct df dfs pun tu. Ntuncn nu prfn nm nflfs nn df nnnf sfnsul spusflur lun. *nr nu frn nn df grn!. Nunln mfn m-n cundus. Fn mn-n lsnt nlfgfrfn dunr ntrf prutfst n rndnrf snu dnspfrnrf. 2ndnrfn frn .rul cfl mnn mnnur/ dup prfrfn mfn. Fu sunt nfmrgnnnt df mulumnt pfntru f,pfrnfnflf, pf cnrf nm n!ut !unf s lf trnfsc, pfntru n uturul, pf cnrf fu l-nm prnmnt. Nunln mfn mn-n fust un nun n!tur. Ntuncn n mnn fn schnmnnt urncnd cu un trup sntus. Nstzn n mulumfsc nf "nt, c nu nn dnt !unf cn s sf ntmplf.

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*unr un urn prfffr u cup frumus sculptnt n fn!unrfn unun nulgrf df nur. Fu nunfsc fflul cum Mnchnfl nflfgfn, s f,plncf lucrurn mnrn cu pnldf snmplf. )urpul, n!flnul mntfrnnl, fstf nmfdnnt ln ncfputul !nfnn drunt dnstrugfrnn, fr n sf dfplnsn sf ndrfnpt sprf prnunrf, dnr cf !nlunrf nrf fl fn df spnrntul nfmurntur( Fl fstf nchnsunrfn sn, l puntf nchndf n zdrunn, dn, ctfudnt l puntf uprn cu tutul - dnr dunr pfntru scurt tnmp. 0n cfl mnn ru cnz fstf un sumn cn n lun nln cn zpndn, cnrf df multf urn nu durfnz nncn u sut df nnn. *f un prnn cu numflf df munrtf fstf trfznt cu un srut dnn sumn spnrntul. )t df nnnf fstf, dnc fl puntf rfcununtf, c nu s-n lsnt prnd cflun cnrf l-n nchns, c n trnnt curpul n - ufncnnl s-n supus cu umnlnn - dnr n sfcrft n urcnt pf cflf mnn nnltf culmn. )f l nntfrfsfnz pf un pun, cnd nfsf, cun n, pf cnrf fl mnn nnnntf n spnrt-u( )f fulus nu tuntf plcfrnlf n nucurnlf trupftn n mprnn lun *umnfzfu( Ncflun, cnrf prnmftf cu mnl ncfnst cununtfrf. )urpul mfu n nlucunt ncfnst cununtfrf. Fr mnl, nrutnl - n tutun nfmrgnnnt df nunntur. 2ndnrfn( %f puntf gsn unrf n strfsul !nfnn( 0n nspnrnnn curpurnl, cnrf slu ftf dunr pfntru n sntnsfncf nf!unlf mntfrnnlf( )u muumnrf prnmfsc fu ncfst ustntnc, cnrf n zdrunnt curpul mfu, cnrf n drmnt zndurnlf nchnsurnn n n flnnfrnt spnrntul. Gfrmnnn, mntfmntncn, futnnlul frn urnrul frnnnlur mfn# pf nl mfu scrnn ns rndnrf n drngustf. Frn u cunl dur. )fl mnn ru frn fnptul, c nu m putfnm ntunrcf nncn mcnr snngur. Fu sttfnm dfsfurn znlf ntrfngn pf ncfnnn pnrtf. Mnmn nu n fcut cu sngurnn ncfnstn cu nntfnnf, dnr fn nu frn pur n snmplu cnpnnnl, s sf pun n lucul mfu. Fu sttfnm nn df mult pf u pnrtf pn cnd pnflfn sf nnflnmn df n. Frnu chnnurn mnrn n nntfrmnnnnnlf pf cnrf fu n trfnunt s lf supurt ntuncn. Nu putfnm s urlu# nn gfmfnm urf ntrfgn, dnr dunr cu rfzultntul, c mnmn sf rftrgfn n mnn mult fn df mnnf, pfntru c .plngcnunsn n furn n ultnmul grnm df nfr!n/. Fu ncfrcnm ntutdfnunn, s nu sdfsc urn, s nu fnc !rfun rfpru n s nu cundnmn. Frn nfmrgnnnt df grfu n m custn dfsfurn tuntf furflf. Frngul nu sf nmflnurfnz prnn frng, dnr cldurn tupftf cu tnmpul tunt ghfnn, n spus Mnchnfl. Fu tnnm c fl n!fn drfptntf. Fu mnn tnnm, c ncfstn frn snngurul drum, frn drumul mfu. *nr frn mult prfn nnrupt, pnftrus n nlunfcus. *f multf urn m gndfnm- prfn nnrupt. Fu snmfnm ntuncn putfrfn trupulun. )u cfn mnn mnrf nrm n sn, cu durfrfn, m pfdfpsfn fl ntuncn pf mnnf. n spnrntul nu n!fn nc putfrfn nfcfsnr s sf rndncf dfnsuprn. Fu frnm nc prnnzunnfrn curpulun mfu, n sfntnmfntflur mflf. *urfrfn cuntruln rfncnnlf n gndnrfn. Grfu n lung fstf drumul, cn s dfspnrn tfmpurnr sfntnmfntflf n prfrnlf curpulun n s lf pun ln dnspuznnn nntfrnurulun, ndf!rntulun Fu, n spnrntulun. N !fdfn, n nuzn, n mnrusn, n gustn n n snmn nu nu !unf s dfzlnunf rfncnn nutumntf n cunfurm sntunnfn, n spus u dnt Mnchnfl. "u trfnunf s rfcunutn ncfstf snmurn n s lf nrfgnstrfzn. *nr nu lsn nncnudnt cn flf s-n cuntrulfzf fnptflf n sfntnmfntflf tnlf. )nd cnnf!n tf n ur, ntuncn tu ftn suprnt, dnc cnnf!n tf dnsprfunftf, ftn trnst, dnc cnnf!n tf lnud, tu tf nucurn, n dnc cnnf!n n prncnnunftf u durfrf, ntuncn tu ncfpn s-l urtn. "u ftn ln ffl cn n un runut- *nc npfn pf un nutun, ntuncn fncf fl ncfnnn mncnrf pruprnf lun. )rfzn tu, c *umnfzfu n !rut s crffzf runun( Ntuncn nr fn putut fncf Fl tutul cu mult mnn uur. Fl n crfnt cu umul u fnnn, cnrf fstf dutnt cu tutul, c n d pusnnnlntntfn cn s fnf lnnfr, pfntru cn fl s punt n lnnfrtntf s urcf pf cflf mnn nnltf culmn nlf sffrflur. Multf pfrnculf pndfsc ln mnrgnnfn drumulun. Mult prfn dfs sf lns umul cun!nns, n !nndf prfnunsn lnnfrtntf pfntru u pnnf cu unt. "untf plcfrnlf nfftnnf, dfpfndfnflf mntfrnnlf n sf,unlf, nlcuhulul, fumntul, drugurnlf, tnnlftflf, mudn, cnrf trfnunf nfnprnt rfspfctnt, tuntf lucrurnlf ncflfn, pf cnrf trfnunf s lf fncn, cn s fn mnrf n fnn lumnn, mnnnfn cfn nuu, df cnrf fstf nf!unf, pfntru c n !fcnnul nrf unn, spurtul cfl nuu, fr cnrf nu ftn dfmn df sucnftntf, curntul, pfntru nrtnt !fcnnfn, c sf puntf n mnn nnnf. F,nst mnn df nstffl df .nfuruzf furntf/, cnrf nnuf tunt lnnfrtntfn, n l fnc pf um cn s df!nn un runut. n tutun n prnmnt umul u nrm mnnunnt, cnrf puntf nnf pnfpt tuturur ntncurnlurdrngustfn. *rngustfn sprf *umnfzfu n!nngf tuntf ncfstf prnmf dn. *rngustfn pfntru *umnfzfu nsfnmn s-$ nunftn pf ncfln, cnrf tf-n crfnt, mutn!ul n n ncflnn tnmp cnptul dfz!ultrnn mflf, Ncfln cnrf n-n dnt un sfns f,nstfnfn mflf, s-n nturc n dfplnn lnnfrtntf drngustfn %n. Ncfnst drngustfn dununr tuntf nnrfrnflf# cn un fnrtf, cn pf u sur !rfn *umnfzfu cn nun s fnm nlturn df Fl. Nu cn un %tpn mnrf !rfn cn s-$ nunnm, nu dnn cnuzn nflfpcnunnn %nlf, dnn cnuzn mrfnfn nfmrgnnntf n n supfrnurntnn %nlf. Fl !rfn dunr s fnf nunnt, pfntru c f,nst, cum un cupnl n nunftf mnmn, n mnmn n nunftf cupnlul. Ncfnst drngustfn ndf!rnt trfnunf s crfnsc, cn fn s nu fnf tulnurnt df nnsulut nnmnc. Nnmnc s n-u mnn dfrnn fzf n !fcn snu s-u sunnfzf. Fn fstf cf!n unnc, cf!n df nfntrfcut, cf!n sfnt. Fn fstf mrfn, cfl mnn nnlt lucru cnrf n f,nstnt n !n f,nstn. Fn fstf cnuzn n sfnsul !nfnn, dn, fstf nsun !nnn. *nr nu fstf pusnnnl, cn s fn crfnt cu u nsfmfnfn drngustf. )hnnr n pfntru un *umnfzfu ntutputfrnnc nu fstf pusnnnl. )cn ntuncn nr fn crfnt dunr nntf runun. )f cuntfnz u drngustfn pfntru mnnf, cnrf nu nrf nncn u nlfgfrf, cnrf trfnunf s m nunfnsc, pfntru c n lnpsftf pusnnnlntntfn, cn s nu fnu nunnt( *rngustfn unfn ffmfn fstf df ncffn nn df prfnuns, pfntru c fn s-n dfcns n lnnfrtntf pfntru ncfnstn. Fn nr fn ct sf puntf df nf!nluruns, dnc nr f,nstn pf lumf dunr un nrnnt, nn c fn nu nr mnn n!fn df fnpt nncn u nltfrnntn!. *f nnnn dfcnznn lnnfr fncf nn df prfnuns drngustfn. n pfntru *umnfzfu. Fl nu n !rut runun. Nn n trfnunt s nf crffzf nlfgfrn pfntru dfz!ultnrf, undf nun putfm s nf hutrm n lnnfrtntf. &fntru *umnfzfu snu pfntru nnnn, pfntru *umnfzfu snu pfntru sf,, pfntru *umnfzfu snu dfpfndfnn df drugurn, pfntru *umnfzfu snu pfntru nfnumrntflf .nfuruzf furntf/. *umnfzfu nf lns !unt ncfnst nlfgfrf. Fl nu puntf n nu nrf !unf s nntfr!nn. Muln spun, fu crfd df nnnn ntuncn n *umnfzfu, cnd l !d, ntuncn cnd Fl n nfptunt u mnnunf n fnn uchnnlur mfn, cn fu s put fn sngur. *nr cf nr fn ntuncn, dnc Fl nr nfptun u nstffl df mnnunf( *nc Fl s-nr nrtn n mrfnn n mnnunnn %n( Ntuncn nr spunf ntr-ndf!r fnfcnrf- *n, ncum put n sfrnt s crfd, ncum tf !un nunn ntr-ndf!r. *nr ncfnstn nu mnn fstf u nlfgfrf lnnfr. Ncfn

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drngustf nu !nlurfnz nnsulut nnmnc. Fn nu pru!nnf dnn nnnm, cn dnn rnnunf. *rngustfn cnlculnt puntf fn ctfudnt cunfundnt pf pmnt cu drngustfn ndf!rnt, dnr pf *umnfzfu nu pun s-$ nfln. Nr fn tut ncflnn lucru, cn n cnd u ffmfnf l-nr nunn pf un nrnnt dunr ntuncn, dnc n sf pnr dfstul df mnrn pruprnftnnlf snlf n dnc ncfstn nrf dfstun nnnn. Ncfnstn nu nrf df-n fncf nnmnc cu drngustfn. Ndf!rntn drngustfn - n ncfnstn f,nst dunr ln *umnfzfu - fstf pur df urncf udfcnt. Fn nu punf cundnnn, nu ntfnpt nnmnc n schnmn. Fn nunftf pur n snmplu. Nn !rfn *umnfzfu cn Fl s fnf nunnt. %nmplu, pfntru c f,nst. Nu dnn cnuzn, cn nun s nu n ungfm n .nnd/# dnn dnn cnuzn, cn nun s n ungfm n .rnn/ n s n!fm nculu lnnntfn !fnnc# nu, pfntru c *umnfzfu nrf tuntf pusnnnlntnnlf, c s nf fnc ct mnn plcut .!nnn !fnnc/. *umnfzfu nu !rfn s fnf nunnt dnntr-un mutn! snu nltul, cn dunr pfntru snmplul fnpt c f,nst. n pfntru ncfnstn nu fstf nncn mcnr nfcfsnr, cn Fl s stfn dfpnrtf df pmnt, dfunrfcf f,nst lucrurn, cnrf nf dnu nltfrnntn!f, c Fl nf lns u ndf!rnt nlfgfrf. %fmnf f,nst dfstulf, Fnfcnrf, cnrf l cnut, l ! gsn pf Fl pfstf tut dnn nflug. )f fstf nnturn nltcf!n, dfct un mnrncul n lun *umnfzfu( Flunrfn, cnrf crftf dnn np, pumul, cnrf crftf dnn smn( %nu frunzn df nfgunnf, cnrf dnntr-u snngur frunz crftf, n df!nnf u plnnt( Fr dnfncultn puntf fnfcnrf, cnrf !rfn, s !nd c n spntflf fn sf nfl u putfrf urdunnt. N fn df prfrfn, c tutul s-n ntmplnt dnn grffnl dnntr-u mntfrnf str!fchf, ndnc urdnnfn n rfnfnt dnn hnus, fstf ntt df nnsurd cn n prfrfn, cn nnsnpul dnn dffrt nr putfn s cunstrunnsc fr un pnc df n utur u pnrnmnd, dunr c n trfnunf sufncnfnt tnmp. )nnf n !zut s rfnfsf urdnnfn dnn hnus( *unr nn( N duun pnrtf n ncfstfn nrmf df drngustf fstf drngustfn pfntru nprunpflf. Fn nu sf dfusfnftf nprunpf dfluc df drngustfn pfntru *umnfzfu. Nn cum sf put n!nngf tuntf nspntflf mntfrnnlf, dfpfndfnflf n nfcfsntnnlf, nn puntf drngustfn pfntru nprunpflf s tf cucfrfnsc. %nu cum n putfn fu s snmt ur, dc l nunfsc pf cfl df lng mnnf( %nu cum n putfn s-n fnc rfpruurn( "untf sfntnmfntflf nfgntn!f sf cucfrfsc prnn drngustfn pfntru nprunpflf. Fn nu ntrfnn df cf, fn fstf pur n snmplu prfzfnt, pfntru fnfcnrf. )um n putfn fu, m ntrfnn tu, s-l nunfsc pf dumnnul mfu., cnrf !rfn s-mn fnc dunr ru( Fstf ct sf puntf df snmplu. Fl fstf tut ncfnnn, cf ftn n tu. Fl fstf u fnnn n lun *umnfzfu, crfnt prnn drngustf pfntru drngustf. *umnfzfu l nunftf pf fl ln ffl cn n pf tnnf. *rngustfn nu fncf dnffrfnf. )um nn putfn tu ntuncn, dnc nfnrmn, c l nunftn pf *umnfzfu, s-l urtn pf ncfln, pf cnrf *umnfzfu l nunftf ln ffl cn n pf tnnf( *nc nunftn pf cnnf!n cu ndf!rnt, ntuncn l nunftn cu tutul, cu tuntf dfffctflf snlf. *nc l nunftn ntr-ndf!r pf *umnfzfu, ntuncn trfnunf s-$ nunftn ntru tutul, nn, cum Fl n nunftf tuntf fnnnflf fr nncn u dfusfnnrf. )um pun tu ntuncn s urtn unn dnn ncfstf fnnnf( Ncfst lucru nu f,nst nncn mcnr n drngustfn lumfnsc. *nc un nrnnt n nunftf funrtf mult prnftfnul, ntuncn fstf cfl punn tulfrnt snu trntnt cu prnftfnnf df sunn ncflunn n ln *umnfzfu s fnf unrf nltffl( Nr trfnun s nf purtm cfl punn frumus cu nprunpflf nustru. Ncfstn fstf cfl mnn cfrt lucru df pf lumf. *nr nu dnspfrn. Fstf ntr-ndf!r cfl mnn grfu. Nun !um mnn !urnn dfsfurn df ncfst lucru. )hnnr n nstzn nm n!ut !unf mult tnmp s m plnmn nrn ln nrn cu Mnchnfl pfstf cmpnn frumus mnrusntunrf, n nm n!ut !unf s ndulmfc nfrul rcurus n prunspt. Frn tut ncfnnn lumnn, u mnnunnt n funrtf lumnnnt lumnn df nsfrnrf, cnrf ns nu nrtn nncn u umnr n !rfu pnrtf. %unrflf nu sf putfn !fdfn nncn undf. Fflurn nfmrgnnntf df flurn n df pumn nf ntmpnnnu. Fu pur n snmplu nu m put f,prnmn nltffl. Nnturn nu frn dunr prfzfnt, fn prfn s trnnsc mprfun cu nun, prfn s nnn lfgtur cu sfntnmfntflf nunstrf, n s nnflufnfzf stnrfn nunstr n n ncflnn tnmp cun!nnn df fn, dn, chnnr purtnn. Multf psrn cntnu n urul nustru, muln fluturn nf ncun urnu, nlnnnflf zumznnu, tutul n urul nustru frn plnn df !nn. )hnnr n nnnmnlflf nu frn dunr nn nculu. Flf prfnu s fnf u pnrtf dnn mnnf n frnu ntr-un ffl mnstfrnus cu mult mnn !nn, dfct fu lf-nm putut rfcfpnunn pf pmnt. Nncnundf nu sf snmfn nncn mcnr u urm df frnc snu df grn n. *unr drngustf. Fnfcnrf ddfn tutul cf n!fn n tutun tnn, c nnmfnn nu n lun nnmnc. Fu m rfgsfnm n ncflf psrn, n ncflf mnnunntf flurn, n cfl mnn mnc mflc. Fu tnnm cu cfrtntudnnf, fu frnm flf, n flf frnu fu, n tutun nu frnm unn n ncfnnn fnnn. Flf nu frnu nmngnnn nlf fnntfznfn# sf putfn s lf ntnngn, sf putfn !urnn cu flf, fr cn s trfnunnsc s !urnftn. "untf lfgturnlf gndurnlur uffrfnu u cumunncnnf, cnrf fstf nprunpf df nfdfscrns. Fu frnm cnpnnnl, s cuprnnd ntrfngn lur fnnn, tuntf sfntnmfntflf lur. Nu m putfnm dunr trnnsffrn n flf, fu putfnm s lf prnmfsc n mnnf ntru tutul. Frn - cn n cum drngustfn sf nunftf pf snnf. )ffn cf tu !fzn n trnftn nncn, nu nrf nnmnc cu cf s sf nsfmfnf pf pmnt. &f pmnt trfcf fnfcnrf plnnt, fnfcnrf nnnmnl, nn chnnr fnfcnrf pnntr prnn pruprnn sn dfz!ultnrf. Ncfstfn tuntf sunt scntfn df duh nlf lun *umnfzfu, cnrf sunt cundusf prnn nfsfrnt df multf stndnn nntfrmfdnnrf ln mnturntntf. *nc tu !rfn s tf cunfctfzn cu flf, ntuncn trfnunf tu s tf ncumudfzn cu stnrfn lur df uscnlnnf, cffn cf prfsupunf u nnlt mnturntntf duhu!nncfnsc. &fntru umul unnnunt nu fstf n cunsfcnn !nznnnl u cunf,nunf. Fflul df gndnrf mntfrnnlnst nu lns rflnnnlf s sf rfcununsc, cn trfnunf s !nd n ncfstfn n mud unlngnturnu furmf df !nn nutunumf n fsfnnnl dnffrntf fn df pfrsunnn pruprnf. Nu nn fstf n lumfn duhu!nncfnsc. Nncn fstf tutul n tnnf, cffn cf !fzn, tutul cf trnftn. &fntru c numnn cffn, cf fstf n tnnf, pun tu s n trnftn n s snmn. Fstf u pnrtf dnn tnnf n tu u pnrtf dnn ncfnstn. "ut cf fstf, sunt scntfn df !nn nlf lun *umnfzfu. Nn cum pncturn n mnrf df!nnf unn cu mnlnnrdflf df nltf pncturn, dnn f,tfrnur nf mnn fnnnd pusnnnl u dfusfnnrf, cu tuntf nstfn rfnnndu-n nutunumnn pf dfplnn, n fflul ncfstn sf !fdf u fnnn dfz!ultnt duhu!nncfsc nntfgrnt n ntrfngn crfnnf. Nn cum u pnctur, cnd fn nghfn, n pnfrdf unnrfn cu cflflnltf pncturn, dfnnrnsndu-sf df cflflnltf cn crnstnl pruprnu, nn n pnfrdf umul sfntnmfntul df n fn unn cu crfnnn, dnc fl nsun sf dfnnrnsfnz, cnd fl fugf df cldur n cnd rcfnln mntfrnfn l fncf prnzunnfr. *nc un suflft sf ustfnftf numnn pfntru cffn cf fstf mntfrnnl n nfgln fnz !nlurnlf duhu!nn!ftn, ntuncn trfnunf fl n nncn s sf mulumfnsc cu u mprf urnmf pustnf. )nnf lns drngustfn s sf ufnlfnsc, ncfln nu !n putfn nncn s nduc flurn ln n!fnl. "utul fstf drngustf. Nn df mult drngustfn ct tu nn dfz!ultnt n tnnf, ntt df mult drngustf pun tu s pruducn dnn tnnf n lumfn

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duhu!nncfnsc. )ffn cf nn !zut n nn trnt nstzn, n fust df-nnnn ncfputul. Nn cum tu nn unsfr!nt df n, stpnftf u lumnn df nsfrnrf cuntnnu. *f n ntr-ndf!r unn funrtf lumnnuns, dnr sunrflf nc nu sf puntf !fdfn. "u nncn nu l-nn putfn nc supurtn. 0n lumfn duhu!nncfnsc nnmnc nu sf rfnnf fr drfpt cn .pfdfnps/. "u prnmftn tuntf, pf cnrf lf pun supurtn. 0n .nnd/ nu sf nrunc unmfnnn. Ncfnstn fstf u stnrf, n cnrf tf nfln, pfntru c nu pun supurtn lumnnn. n dfsprf ncfst lucru !um !urnn nun nc dfs. *nc tu nn !fdfn sunrflf duhu!nncfsc n ncfnst prfzfnt stnrf df uscnlnnf n tn, tu nn nrdf cn un nfc, cnrf fstf nlnmfntnt dnntr-u surs df curfnt putfrnnc df 5;;;;; df !uln. Fl puntf numnn ntuncn fulusn curfntul, dnc ncfstn fstf trnnsfurmnt n us ln 44; df !uln. 0n ncflnn ffl trnnsfurm n us surflf-lun-7rnstus df fnfcnrf dnt lumnnn lun ln stnrfn df uscnlnnf, n cnrf tu tf nfln n ncfst fnpt nu sf ntmpl ntuncn, pfntru n-n nrtn, c tu mnn nn mult pn cf !fn fn mntur! %f ntmpl dnn drngustf fn df tnnf, pfntru c tu n-nn putfn supurtn mnn mult, fnnndc tu nn nrdf n ncfnstn. F,nst dunr ncfstf duu pusnnnltn. 'rn n trnnsfurm 7rnstus lumnnn $un n us ln nn!flul tu, snu tu n trnnsfurmn uscnlnnnlf tnlf n sus ln sunrflf-lun-7rnstus. )nlfn sprf ncfnstn u cunutn tu. "rnnsfurmnturul fstf drngustfn, drngustfn snngur. Fn prnmftf nflfpcnunfn pf grntns, n tnmp cf ntrfngn nflfpcnunf n pmntulun nu !n prnmn nncn mcnr u pnctur df drngustf, dnc fn nu u nducf snngur ln n!fnl. *umnfzfu pusfd tunt nflfpcnunfn. Fl nu nrf nf!unf df nflfpcnunfn tn. Fl n d cu drng cf!n df ln ncfnstn, ntt df mult ct pun tu supurtn. )ffn cf Fl !rfn n nrf nf!unf df ln tnnf, fstf drngustfn tn. *fschndfn uchnn tn n ndrgustftf-tf df Fl. 3 Fu n-nm dfschns n nm prn!nt n uchnn tntlun mfu. Ncum m-nm nmnntnt fu nnrn. Fl m lunsf tnndru n nrnflf snlf, n fu nm ndurmnt ffrncnt n ncfstfn. "ntl nu n spus nnmnc. Fl prn!fn numnn ln mnnf. )u prn!nrfn lun cnld, cunusctunrf m-n nfurnt, m-n lunt pf mnnf n snnf. $n fl nm fust fu prutf nt. $n fl n-nm mnn fust fu u nn!nlnd. Fu frnm un um, fu frnm fnncn lun, pf cnrf fl u nunfn. Fncf nn df nnnf, s fnn nunnt! *rngustfn n!nngf urncf durfrf, fncf tuntf grn nlf untntf. *f cf frn tntl numnn nn df rnr ncns, df cf numnn nu putfn fl s fnf mnn dfs ln mnnf( )um nr fn dnc m-nr nflfgf, dnc m-nr mnrnn mnn tnrf. Fu mn-nm dnt nstzn dfmnsnn. Mnmn nu mnn n!usf nfr dnn cnuzn spnnmfn. Nncn mcnr cnffnun fnfrnnntf prfn fn c nu u unsfr!, pf cnrf n !rsnt-u pf ruchnn fn. Fu nu mnn !rfnu s fnu nn df mult pf drum. Fu npnrnn nncn, df tnnf n mnn nlfs n df Nnrnnrn. Ncfnstn fstf ru!untur! *nc tu m-nn nunn chnnr numnn punn, n-nn fn fcut tu ncfnstn. "u nu !fn mnn gsn nncnudnt nnrn un luc df munc, undf ctngn ntnn nnnn. *nn cf s-mn pltfsc fu dfcn ncum hnnnflf mflf, mnnnn nuu, pf cnrf !runnm s-u cumprm n !nr( "rfnunf tu ntutdfnunn s strncn tutul( *f n df nn df mult tnmp mn-nn prumns tu un cu!ur, cn n sfrnt nnmfnn s nu mnn punt s-n nnt uc df .pudfnu nunstr df lfmn-df unmfnn-srncn/. *nn cf !rfn "u ncum s pltftn tuntf ncfstfn( )f !rfn s fncn "u ntr-ndf!r( Nn tu df n un nuu luc df munc( Nu! n nncn cffn cf !un fncf fu, nu tnu nc. Fu tnu numnn, c Nnrnnrn nrf nf!unf df mnnf, n ncfnstn mn n ungf. *nc n fn fcut fu tutun ntuncn un n!urt cu ncfst lucru nlfstfmnt. &rnn cf nm mfrntnt fu ncfnstn. "unt znun nm numnn df lucru n ntnnf df cnp cu fn, n ncum m rfspnngn tu nc n nnpun dnn cnuzn fn. ' *unmnf, df cf fstf lumfn numnn nn df nfdrfnpt! Fu ! ursc pf !un tun! Fn sf luptn cu lncrnmnlf, n cnd un czusf n nnl, trfnunn fu s m gndfsc ln cu!nntflf lun Mnchnfl- 'rn u pun snmn curpurnl. )n sgfn nscuntf s-n nfnpt ncfnstn ndnc n trupul mfu mnc n l-n cutrfmurnt. "ntn m-n strns prutfctur ln snnf. *n, fl df!fnnsf nfntncnnnl. *rngustfn lun l-n nfurnt prutf ndu-l pf fl cn u plntu. Fu tnnm c fl u !n lun pf mnmn, cnd fn sf !n fn lnnntnt, nnrn n nrnflf snlf n nu-n !n rfprun nncnudnt nnmnc, n-u !n mnn nmnntn cu nncn un cu!nt ln cffn cf sf ntmplnsf. Fu l ndmnrnm pf tntn. &utfn fl, unrf, s !nd df n sunrflf( "ntn frn muntur ln u fnrm mnrf, cnrf frn cu prfcdfrf nctn! n strnntntf. Fl frn dfsfurn pntru sptmnn snu nc mnn mult plfcnt n !fnfn ntuncn cfl mult pfntru ctf!n znlf ncns, pfntru n fn trnmns nnrn nmfdnnt cu u nuu nsrcnnnrf ntr-u nlt nr. Fl n trfnunt ntr-ndf!r s fn ctngnt ln ncfnstn funrtf muln nnnn. 0n urncf cnz fusfsf mnmn n ncfst tnmp funrtf mndr df fl. )u cf nr putfn fl ncum ntr-ndf!r s sf ucupf( )u sngurnn n-n dfmnsnunnt fl fr s sf gndfnsc. "utul cf fcfn tntn, frn chnnzunt nnnf. Fl nu ncnunn nncnudnt fmununnl. Fl n stpnfn sfntnmfntflf snlf. Nun trnnm ntr-u mnc guspudrnf, pf cnrf tntn u mutfnnsf df ln nunncu, ntr-un ctun cu nltf upt guspudrnn, dfpnrtf, ntr-u mprf urnmf sngurntnc, prsnt. Nfgln nt, unnnunn mnmn s spun. )fl mnn nprupnnt urn mnn mnrf cu cf!n ndustrnf sf nfln ln u dnstnn df 9; df =m. Nnnnntf cundusfsf tntn guspudrnn. $n ncfput n n mfrs funrtf nnnf, cu tuntf c mnmn nu n utn nncnudnt, pfntru c .muncn df mnzfrnf/ frn sun dfmnntntfn fn. Nun pusfdnm ntuncn 9 !ncn n > hn. df pmnt. "ntn !nsnsf ntutdnunn dup ncflf tnmpurn. Fl trfnunn ntrndf!r s fn fust ntuncn funrtf ffrncnt. Mnmn !runn df n dnntutdfnunn mnn mult. Fn !runn s punt trn nn cn rudflf fn dnn urnul mnrf. Nn hnnnf mudfrnf, ntr-u lucunn curnt, cu u mnnn nuu, n mnn nlfs- fnfcnrf nn s mfnrg n cuncfdnu. "ntn nu s-n lsnt nncnudnt nmprfsnunnt df ncfnstn. Nun nu suntfm nncn pf pmnt, n spusf fl mnmfn, pfntru n ctngn ct sf puntf df muln nnnn n s nf mpu!rm cu multf lucrurn mntfrnnlf. Nun suntfm nncn, pfntru n strngf ct sf puntf df multf f,pfrnfnf, pfntru

4>;

cn s prugrfsm duhu!nncftf mnn dfpnrtf, pfntru n-n n utn pf nlnn, nu pfntru nnnn, cn df drngul lur nnn. Nun trfnunf s nf n!m n drngustf n rndnrf, n mnn nlfs trfnunf nun s rfcununtfm, c nnnnn n tuntf lucrurnlf mntfrnnlf sunt nfnmpurtnntf, nn chnnr duntunrf, ccn flf nf nnnt df pf cnlfn duhu!nncfnsc. %nngurul lucru, cf nf rmnf !fnnc, sunt rundflf duhu!nncftn. n ncfstfn sf mnturnzfnz n srcnf n smfrfnnf ndfsfn mnn nnnf dfct n nugnf n ngmfnrf. "ntn nncn n-nr fn cfdnt ntr-ndf!r nncnudnt, dnc n-nr fn ncfput ntuncn mnrfn !ntunrf df hntunnl mputrn!n tuturur mncnlur rnnn n fn!unrfn fnnrncnlur ngrnrf tut mnn mnrn. )tngurnlf sczusfr tut mnn mult, muncn rnnnlur n-n mnn n!ut nncn u !nlunrf. Mnnnn mnrn nu putfn tntn s-n pfrmnt, n n utur nnfsc prnmfn fl numnn ncfpnd df ln u nnumnt mrnmf. Fucnunnrnn rnftn n uffrnsfr, s fnnnfzf u crfscturnf df !nfn, un grn d pfntru cfl punn <; pn ln 1;; df nnnmnlf dutnt cu tuntf nmfnn rnlf mudfrnf, fnfcnrf !nfl snngur ntr-u nu, ngust, cn ncfstn s nu cunsumf prfn mult mncnrf prnn mncnrf. 2fsfntnmfntf n sfntnmfntnlntn nu nr ngdun pnnn. 'rn fl ln sf nlturn, snu fl sf lsn pgunn. "ntn s-n lsnt pgunn. &fntru fl frn fnfcnrf nnnmnl, chnnr fnfcnrf plnnt prfn sfnt, nn nct s fn putut ngdun, s mnltrntfzf nstffl un nnnmnl. Nu cum!n s ! gndnn, spusf fl, c nnnmnlflf snu n plnntflf nr fn dnn tfmflnf cf!n dnffrnt fn df um. Ncfstfn nn sf nsfnmn cu mult mnn mult, dfct !un crfdfn. Fnfcnrf nnnmnl, fnfcnrf plnnt nrf df n un suflft. Fnfcnrf fnnn fstf u crfntur n lun *umnfzfu, ndus ln n!fnl dnn drngustfn lun nfmrgnnnt. Fnfcnrf nnnmnl, fnfcnrf plnnt nrf sfntnmfntf, cnrf pnrnnl rfncnunfnz cu mult mnn sfnsnnnlf dfct cflf nlf nunstrf. )flf mnn multf nnnmnlf pusfd n nn cf!n cn un nl nptflfn snmn# cflur mnn muln unmfnn lf-n dnsprut dunr df mult ncfstn. Fnfcnrf rnn tnf, cum nnnmnlflf sf mputrn!fsc nnstnnctn!, cnd ncfstfn mfrg n dnrfcnn cnsfn df sncrnfncnrf, cu tuntf c flf n-nu fust nc nncnudnt cunfruntntf cu ncfnstn. Fncfn-! stpnn nsuprn pmntulun, n spus *umnfzfu. Nu- dumnnn cn tnrnnn pfstf pmnt, ncunnn nnnmnlflf, chnnunn-lf, ucndfnlf, n nucurnn-! ln ncfnstn. Nnnmnlflf sunt mncnn nutrn frnn n mnrfn fnmnlnf n lun *umnfzfu. Nun nr trfnun s n!fm gr df flf, s lf ndrumm n s lf cunducfm. &rnn fflul nustru fgunst, nrutnl n nfumfnfsc, s chnnun nnnmnlflf dnn mutn!f curnt mntfrnnlf cn cfl mnn ru ntfmnntur, nf prncnnunm nuu nnnf cfl mnn mult ru. &f df-u pnrtf dnrfct prnn cunsumnrfn crnnn, cnrf pusfd nfnumrntf sunstnnf utr!ntunrf n mfdncnmfntf. *f-nnnn hurmunnn, nntnnnutncflf n nnnnulflf stfrundf fnc dunr pusnnnlf ncfstf mftudf pfr!frsf df ngrnrf. Nprunpf tuntf sf dfpun n cnrnf n sunt df n nstzn rfspunsnnnlf pfntru funrtf multf mnuln!nrn n dfrnn rn nlf mftnnulnsmflur. Nl dunlfn punct cntrftf nc mnn dffn!urnnnl. ) nnnmnlflf put gndn, n fust df n df mult du!fdnt df nnulugnf. Ncfnstn fstf u gndnrf prnmntn!, nnstnnctn!, dnr ncfstfn sunt uscnlnnn nlf gndurnlur, cnrf, n prnncnpnu, nu sf dfusfnfsc prnn nnmnc df cflf nlf nunstrf. "utul cf fstf, fstf fnfrgnf, tut un gnd n ncfst lucru l-n du!fdnt fnzncn df n df mult tnmp. "ut nn cn n fnptul, c fnfrgnn nu puntf fn nncnudnt dnstrus. Fn puntf ntr-ndf!r s fnf trnnsfurmnt n nltf furmf df fnfrgnf, dnr nu puntf nncnudnt s fnf dnstrus. )f gndfsc nndnr nnnmnlflf, cnrf sunt chnnuntf ntr-un nsfmfnfn hnl( Ncfstfn sunt gndurn df frnc, tfnm, chnn, pnrnnl ntr-ndf!r n nsfmntunrf cu urn nunstr, n gfnfrnl dfcn fnfrgnf nfgntn!. Ncfnst fnfrgnf nu sf puntf f!npurn. Fn nf mpu!rfnz cn u snnnf n lun *nmuclf. *fsngur, fn nu puntf fn msurnt n cntrnt, n nncn nu fstf !nznnnl. *nr nncn rndnunctn!ntntfn nu fstf !nznnnl, n tutun nrf fn fffctf df!nstntunrf! Ncfnst fnfrgnf nfgntn! nf prncnnunftf nuu tuturur pngun. Fn curfspundf cu rndnunctn!ntntfn n sffrn duhu!nncfnsc. )ffn cf rndnunctn!ntntfn prncnnunftf curpulun, ncfst lucru l prncnnunftf duhulun ncfnst fnfrgnf nfgntn!. Nnmfnn nu puntf spunf, ncfnstn n-nm tnut-u, ncfst lucru nu l-nm !rut! Nun tun suntfm dfnsfmfnfn !nnu!nn ln ncfnst stnrf. *rngustf curnt nu ncftfnz f,nct n fnn fpturnlur cflur mnn nfputnncnunsf, fn lf nncludf pf ncfstfn n prnmul rnd. )nd tntn n f,prnmnt ncfstf gndurn n ndunnrfn cnrcumscrnpnfn rnnnlur, l-nu rupt fn df-n drfptul. Numnn punnn prnftfnn nu nnut cu fl, unnn nu df!fnnt ngndurnn, mnrfn mn urntntf l-n numnt un ndnut !nstur, fr nncn un snm nl rfnlntnn. %nu cf nltcf!n sf puntf crfdf dfsprf un rnn !fgftnrnnn, cnrf rfspnngf cunsumul df cnrnf n dnn mutn!f df sntntf n dnn mutn!f ftncf( 0n nnzn ncfstfn cu!ntrn, cnrf n pru!ucnt cf!n sfnznnf n n prfs, n fust fl ntuncn f,clus dnn nsucnnnn rnnnlur pf mutn! df cumpurtnmfnt duntur pfntru nsucnnnf. *f-nnnn mult mnn trznu nm nflnt fu ncfnst ntmplnrf df ln Mnchnfl. "ntl tu, spusf fl, fstf unul dnntrf cfn muln sfnnn, cnrf rmn nfcunuscun, cnrf lucrfnz n lucrurn mncn n nscunsf. )ffn cf fl n rfcunuscut cn fnnnd drfpt, ncfnstn n n susnnut-u, fr n nrusn un gnd pfntru snnf. Fl n ntmpnn pf tun cu drngustf, n n ut pf tun, nu rnftf pf nnmfnn, fr s cfdfzf !rfudnt, dnc cnnf!n ndur strnccnunf snu dnc lfgfn dumnfzfnnsc fstf nfrfspfctnt. Fl fstf unul dnntrf ncfnn, cnrf ntrfsc nnnflf n lumf n l spurfsc. 'nmfnn cnrf !ur s nnuntnfnsc lumfn n-nu rfunt nncnudnt s ntnng !rfun scup. )u!ntrn mnrn n durnnn f!ln!nuns, ncfnn df sus s fnc n sfrnt cf!n, n-nu n utnt nc nnmnun cu nnmnc. Fnfcnrf puntf s mnuntfnsc lumfn, nnumf nculu, undf fl trnftf. $umfn, ncfnstn fstf mprf urnmfn tn, unmfnnn, ncftnn sunt nprunpflf tu. Nu-n crntncn, nu-n cundnmnn! %chnmn-tf numnn tu nsun, n cfnlnln sf schnmn nutumntnc mprfun cu tnnf. Fn rfncnunfnz ln uscnlnnnlf tnlf. *up ur urmfnz nrnrfurn drngustfn. *nr fn df drngustf nu puntf nnmfnn pf durnt lung s rfncnunfzf cu ur. &f lng f,fmplul tu mnc nu puntf nnmfnn pf lung durnt s trfnc, fr s fnf mulnpsnt . Nu fstf pusnnnl, s nsculn un cuncfrt df urg n n ncflnn tnmp s flunfrn u dunn. Nu fstf pusnnnl, s tf unn ln u lumnnrf n s !fzn ntunfrnc, nncn mcnr cu uchnn nchnn. *nr lumnnrfn trfnunf s nrd, tu trfnunf s-u nprnnzn. )fn mnn muln !urnfsc ntutdfnunn numnn dfsprf fnptul, c cnnf!n nr trfnun s-u nprnnd. Fstf dfnsfmfnfn mult mnn plnn df sfns, s nprnnzn u lumnnrf, dfct s !urnftn dfsprf ncfst lucru, c n ncfst ntunfrnc nr trfnun cfl punn duuzfcn s fnf nprnnsf. $umfn fstf cn un uc df dumnnu. %f nfl u sut df pnftrf ntr-un rnd unn n spntflf cflfnlnltf. )fn cnrf !ur s mnuntfnsc

4>1

lumfn ncfnrc ncum, s lf rstunrnf pf tuntf ncfstfn n ncflnn tnmp, n pfntru c ncfst lucru nu fstf pusnnnl, fufnz fn snu sf rfsfmnfnz. $n ncfnstn fstf ns tutun nn df snmplu. "u trfnunf s rsturnn dunr ncfn pnntr, cnrf sf nfl lng tnnf, n rfncnn n lnn cnrf urmfnz ntuncn lf rstunrn pf tuntf cflflnltf fr nntfr!fnnn tn n cuntnnunrf. ' ln!nn ncfpf ntutdfnunn n prupurnn mncn, ntr-un punct. Fn nu sf ntfn nncnudnt mnrf n tutun n!fn dfsurn un fffct nnmncntur. "ntl tu n-n ntfptnt ncfnst ln!nn pf cnrf cnnf!n .df sus/ s-u dfzlnunf u dnt. Fl n dfclnnnt mnn multf ln!nnf mnnusculf. *nc flf !ur df!fnn ln!nnf mnrn, ncfst lucru dfpnndf df mnn multf mprf urrn. Ncfst lucru nu st ln ndfmnn !unstr, pfntru ncfnstn !un nu suntfn rfspunsnnnln. *nr trfnunf tutun s-u dfclnnnn! $umfn nu n fust crfnt dunr ntr-u snngur zn. )rfdfn !un, c ntr-u snngur zn n putfn schnmnn chnpul cu tutul( )fn mnn muln rfnun dup u scurt !rfmf, ntuncn cnd fn nu zrfsc nncn un succfs. Fn sf gndfsc dunr ln snnf. *f cf nu dfclnnfnz pur n snmplu u ln!nn, cnrf n n ungf dnn urm pf cupnnn lur snu chnnr n pf nfpunn lur( 0n dumfnnul mntfrnnl sf gndfsc muln df n ln znun df punmnnf. )upnnn nncn nnnf nu sunt nc nscun, n mutfnnrfn fstf df n prugrnmnt pn n cfl mnn mnc dftnlnu. *nr n spnrnt, trfnunf cn tutul s sf ntmplf pf luc, ccn, nltffl, nf pnfrf curn ul, dfunrfcf .nu putfm n nn s schnmnm cf!n/. Nn-l cn f,fmplu pf tntl tu. Fl n dfclnnnt multf, cu tuntf c fl nu tnf ncfst fnpt. Fl nu n fcut nncnudnt cf!n dnn cnuzn succfsulun. Fl n ncnunnt, nn cum n trfnunt s ncnunfzf. "ntn n !ndut pf ncfn !rfmf !ncnlf unun prnftfn, undf tnn c lf !n mfrgf nnnf, n-n nrfndnt pf lng ncfnstn n pmntul n n nccfptnt slu nn cn muntur n ncum n dfmnsnunnt. *nc nu n fn fust mut, nu n fn putut s stpnfsc un npt df nucurnf. Nmngnnfn, c tntn !n fn mnn dfs nlturn df mnnf, frn mult prfn frumuns. )u snngurnn c Mnchnfl n nrnn nt ncfnstn, dfunrfcf fu l-nm rugnt df multf urn. *rngul mfu Mnchnfl, fu n mulumfsc, c prnmfsc nn df mult n utur. "ntn m-n mnn strns nc u dnt cu trnf n nrnflf snlf, m-n srutnt n n-n lunt rmns nun. &fntru ultnmn unr n trfnunt s plfcf fl pfntru u pfrnund df nsf sptmnn, n ntuncn( *n, cf sf !n ntmpln ntuncn( Frnu nsf sptmnn durf pfntru mnnf. Fu ncfrcnm, ct df nnnf putfnm, dnr un succfs nu sf putfn zrn. Mnmn mfn frn cu mult mnn tnrf suprnt n rfzfr!nt fn df mnnf. Fu u prn!fnm ct putfnm fu df nunntur, fu n durfnm n gnd dunr drngustf, fu supurtnm tuntf durfrnlf cu rndnrf, dnr ncfnstn nu n n utnt ln nnmnc. Fn m-n lsnt pur n snmplu ntr-u pnrtf. Mncnrfn mn-u nducfn nfrfgulnt n mputrn!n !unnfn fn. )f nu n fn dnt cn s fnu punn mnn nndfpfndfnt! % put mncn snngur snu s put mfrgf cfl punn ln tunlft. *nr fu ncfrcnm, s nu m cfrt cu sunrtn, fu ncfrcnm dnn rsputfrn, s nu furmfz gndurn nfgntn!f. Ntuncn cnd fn n urn, dfunrfcf mnm udnt, ncfrcnm cn s-u nflfg, ncfrcnm s mn cfr u nfrtnrf mut, c fu n-nm dnt dnn nuu ntt df lucru. Fu ncfrcnm, s-n mulumfsc pfntru tut cf fcfn fn. Nu n fust uur, dnr cu tnmpul n mfrs mnn nnnf, n n !rfmf nm n!nt chnnr, s supurt durfrnlf, fr s m plng, fr s fnc rfpruurn, ntuncn cnd fn m npucn fr nlndff. "ut tnmpul l n!fnm pf tntn n fnn uchnnlur mfn n tnnm, c fu trfnunn s rfufsc. Fu frnm ffrm dfcns, s ndnug pnrtfn mfn, s dfclnnfz mncn mfn ln!nn, dnr frnm tut tnmpul dnn nuu dfznmgnt, c fn nu sf furmn sprf n df!fnn u ln!nn mnrf cn s sf rstugulfnsc n !nlf n s nnmncfnsc tutul cf-n sttfn n cnlf. *nn cuntr, nu sf ntmpln nnmnc, nnsulut nnmnc! Nncn frnnn mfn nu mn fcfnu !nnn mnn uunr. Fn nu sf ngrn fnu df mnnf, n ntuncn cnd trfnunnu s-u fc, u fcfnu cuntrn !unnfn lur. n ncfst lucru m fcfnu s-l snmt. Fstf nfmrgnnnt df umnlntur, s nu tf pun mncn nprunpf dfluc n s fn n nnt ucurnt pfntru ncfnstn. &fntru urfchnnlf sntunsf nr sunn cn u glum, ntuncn cnd fn m lsnu n crucnurul mfu df cupnn ln mnrgnnfn tfrfnulun df futnnl, n utnu cu mnngfn pf lng mnnf n strngnu- "u ftn purtnrul, nn grn cn nu cum!n s rntfzn! Fu ns nu nm snmnt nncnudnt ncfst lucru cn fnnnd durfrus. )hnnr dnc rfufnm ncum, s nu mnn fnu suprnt pf fn, n ndncul suflftulun durfn tutun dfstul df tnrf. Multf nstffl df ncnnf n trfnunt s ndur. Ntuncn cnd frnnn mfn mprfun cu cnmnrnznn lur df unc nu unsfr!nt c mn frn scrn df nruntf, sf dnstrnu df mnnunf, s lf prnnd n s mn lf nruncf n punl. Nm fust lsnt n crucnur pfntru n n!fn dfstul !ntfz pf dfnl n us, c nprunpf mn nturcfn stumncul pf dus snu m punfnu ntr-un cul, ntuncn cnd nu putfnm fn fulusnt. 'rn frnm nfr pfntru fn, frn !unf, fr cn fn s fnf pfdfpsnn, s nu m nngf n sfnm - s urlu snu s fug dup fn nu putfnm - , snu fu frnm prn!nt cn u ucrnf. Nmnflf lucrurn sunt dfstul df umnlntunrf. Fr Mnchnfl, fr cununtfrfn, cnrf fl mn-u drunn, m-n fn upus cu sngurnn n suprnrfn, furnn n trnstffn m-nr fn rupt n nntfrnur. *nr mnn ru m lu!fn cumptnmnrfn unmfnnlur mnn ntrnn. +nn *umnfzfulf, ct df srnc fstf! F,nst, unrf, ntr-ndf!r, s fnf nn df mnc n nn df dffurmnt( Fstf fn, unrf, hnndncnpnt mnntnl( %nu puntf s gndfnsc punn( Frn grfu df supurtnt, s fnu ucrnn frnnnlur mfn. $n fn mnn nsfmnnm cfl punn cf!n. N!fm u !nlunrf unrfcnrf. *nr nn( %ngur, ncftn unmfnn nu u spunfnu dnn rutntf. *nr fn mn lnpfnu prnn ncfnst tnmpnl n nncumpftfnfn nnsulutf. Ncfnst mnl dnstrugfn tuntf !nlurnlf, tf punfn pf cfn mnn uns scnr n f,nstfnfn umfnftn, nfngnt n sfnm, nfnunnt, nu ftn lunt n sfrnus, dunr tulfrnt. n ct df dfs fstf fnls ncfnst mnl, dunr u mnsc n spnnmfn, c n puntf lu!n chnnr pf fn, c fn !ur trfnun ln rndul lur s sf dfscurcf cu un cupnl hnndncnpnt, cu tunt muncn ncffn, cu tuntf suffrnnflf n mnn nlfs- cf !ur spunf cfnlnln( )t df dfs sf nudf dnn ncfn mnl uurnrfn, c nu fust scutnn df ncfnstn! n trnstffn, cnrf u f,prnm, fstf dfsfurn ngruzntunrf- ncfst lucru mn s-nr fn putut ntmpln n mnf! *nc nu prfn nn cf fncf cu !ucfn, cu urfchnnlf n cu mnnnlf, rmnf dunr pusnnnlntntfn, s culfzn snmurnlf. )fn mnn muln unmfnn, n spus udnt Mnchnfl, nu tnu nncn mcnr c f,nst ncfst snm, ncfl snm pfntru !nnrnnnlf unmfnnlur dnn urul nustru. "untf gndurnlf n sfntnmfntflf sunt !nnrnnn. Ntuncn cnd un gnd fstf

4>4

gndnt, nf prsftf fl n furmn unfn mncn cnntntn df fnfrgnf, cnrf sf mprtnf cn lumnnn n tuntf prnlf. )urpul nu pusfd un urgnn pfntru n putfn rfcfpnunn ncfstf !nnrnnn. *nr spnrntul nustru puntf! )nnf ncfnrc, s mprfunfzf spnrntul mprfun cu curpul, !n rfcfpnunn nmfdnnt ncfstf !nnrnnn n lf !n nflfgf curfct. )upnnn mncn pusfd n cflf mnn multf cnzurn ncfst snm. %nu cum sf puntf f,plncn nltffl, c unnn cupnn ln nnumnn nduln, pf cnrf nu n-nu !zut nncnudnt, ncfp dfudnt s urlf n chnnr n cu mult rndnrf nu n mnn pun lnnntn, n tnmp cf cu nlnn, tut ntt df strnnn, sunt ntr-ndf!r ncrfzturn( *n, muln cupnn nc mnn pusfd ncfst snm. *nr n luc s fnf ntfnn ndulnn ln ncfstn, df!nn mn urntntfn ndulnlur suprnn- "u cupnl prust, cf s-n ntmplnt cu tnnf! )upnlul unsfnr! n scurt tnmp, c ncfnst rfncnf nu fstf durnt n cu tnmpul u unt. %nngurul lucru, cf rmnf n urm ln mnrfn mn urntntf, fstf sfntnmfnul snmpntnfn snu nntnpntnfn, cu tuntf c snmpntnn nu fstf nnmnc nltcf!n, dfct c !nnrnnnlf cflunlnlt sunt pf ncffnn und df !nlurn, n tnmp cf nntnpntnn nsfnmn dnffrfnn n ncflfn frfc!fnf df !nnrnnn. &rnn ncfn snngurtntf, n cnrf fu nm crfscut, nm putut s dfz!ult ncfst snm dnn cf n cf mnn mult. Nnmfnn nu n ncfrcnt s mn spun cf!n n ncfnst prn!nn, dfunrfcf nnmfnn nu tnn. n df ln Mnchnfl nm prnmnt n uturul cu!fnnt. &f mnnf df mult !rfmf nu m mnn puntf mnnn nnmfnn. %f puntf snmn nmfdnnt, dnc cu!nntflf ncupfr !nnrnnnlf gndurnlur snu nu. n ct df dfs nu curfspund! )t df dfs sf nscundf n spntflf cu!nntflur rustntf rfpfdf .srncul um/ dunr spfrnnn, s nu n ung chnnr fn n ncfnst sntunnf! n ct df dfs sf spunf dunr nn fr nncn mcnr punn df cumpnsnunf! )t df dfs fstf scuzn- Fu nu nm putut, pfntru c n sfnsul ndf!rntFu nu nm !rut. n ct df dfs ln nfnrmnnn- )upnlul n punrt cu stuncnsm durfrfn, nm fust mpnns sprf cfn mnn uns trfnpt lumfnsc, ndnc, u !nn df nftrnt, cnrf fstf dunr tulfrnt! )f nrf df-n fncf cu curpul, sunt n fu df ncurd. *unr - fstf curpul !nnn mfn( %unt fu curpul mfu( %pnrntul mfu nu sf lsn nflnt df dnscursurnlf crfdnncnunsf nlf cflurlnln. Fl frn n stnrf s fnc dnffrfnn ntrf mnsc n chnp. Fu nu trfnunn s crfd cffn, cf mn sf spunfn, fu putfnm s !frnfnc dnc fstf ndf!rnt. Nu fstf ncfst lucru mnn nmpurtnnt( )f fstf !nnn( )unst dunr dnn n ucn futnnl n df n fncf cuprturn( Fu mn-nm rspuns df n df mult !rfmf ln ncfnst ntrfnnrf. %nngurnn, dnn !nnn mfn, cnrf m-nu nccfptnt nn cum sunt, ncfnstn n fust surn Nfnfdnctn dnn clnnnc, frn tntl mfu, n nnnfnflfs Mnchnfl. &fntru surn Nfnfdnctn nm fust un cupnl cn urncnrf nltul. Fu frnm nulnn! n frn df nflfs, c fn m n utn. Fu frnm un .nulnn! nurmnl/, nncn mnn mult nncn mnn punn. &fntru tntn frnm fnncn pf cnrf fl u nunfn. )u sngurnn c nu mn nunfn curpul, fl frn dfsfurn trnst dnn cnuzn lun. Fl nunfn umul, cnrf frn n ncfl trup, ncfl um, cnrf *umnfzfu l-n crfnt cn n pf fl n prnn ncfnstn n!fn tut ncffnn !nlunrf cn n fl. &fntru Mnchnfl frnm un prnftfn. 'n prnftfn, pf cnrf trfnunn s-l ghndfzf, pf cnrf trfnunn s-l nntruduc n sfcrftflf !nfnn, pur n snmplu surn sn mnn tnr, pf cnrf u nccfptn cu tuntf grfflnlf n slnncnunnlf, n fl ncfrcn dnn rsputfrn s m rndncf, cu ghndnrfn sn, lng fl, pf trfnpt. *ur, dnr tutun nunntur. Fu frnm .nurmnl/ cn urncnrf nltul. Nnmnc mnn mult snu mnn punn. n fu !runnm dunr s fnu- .nurmnl/, un um, nnmnc mnn mult snu mnn punn. Ntuncn cnd l-nm rugnt pf Mnchnfl s-mn dfn u mn df n utur, n pus fl dunr u snngur ntrfnnrf- )um !rfn s n!fn, cn s fnn umnl, fr s nu fn fust nncnudnt umnlnt( )rfzn tu, c un rfgf nr putfn n!n !rfudnt cn s fnf umnl - snu un n!nngtur(@Nu, cu sngurnn, nu. Fnn mulumnt cu cfn, cnrf tf umnlfsc, ccn fn n dnu ncfnst nns. Nncnundf nu fstf scrns- Mndrul n n!nngturul !ur mutfnn mprnn cfrurnlur. *unr n umnlnn sf puntf *umnfzfu nfln. 'mnlnnn fstf nsunturul pfrmnnfnt nl drngustfn, n !n dfschndf punrtn sprf cfr, n !n crun drumul sprf *umnfzfu. 'mnlnnn nu fstf fflul frncus df gndnrf n unur spnrntf srncf, nn cum crfd unnn. 'mnlnnn nu nsfnmn, s nccfpn tutul, pfntru c nu tf pun mputrn!n. 'mnlnnn nu fstf nnmnc pnsn!. % tf prfdnn, ncfnstn fstf rfsfmnnrf, nu fstf umnlnn. Ndf!rntn umnlnn, cfrf u !unn nctn!, cfrf curn , curn ul, s n dnn nf mnn punn nmpurtnn dfct nltunn. Nu fstf umnlnn ntuncn, cnd ncfrcn s tf n usftn n f,tfrnur n s gndftn n nntfrnur- *f fnpt sunt n nn mnn nnlt dfct ncfstn, cf um supfrn sunt, c nm rfunt, s m n usfsc ncfstun prustu!nn# pfntru ncfst gfst !n n!fn *umnfzfu cu sngurnn nucurnn %n mnrf! 'mnlnnn ndf!rnt nu punrt nncn u mnsc, fn nu fstf nncn un uc. Nu fstf umnl, s tf nruncn n fnn lun *umnfzfu n nnsnp, dunr pfntru c n-f frnc n sfcrft, c Fl nr putfn s tf nruncf n .nnd/. Ndf!rntn umnlnn fstf cfn sun cunducfrfn drngustfn pfntru *umnfzfu, n nu dnn cnuzn frncnn. n n mn lucul sfmfnnlur nu fstf ndf!rntn umnlnn, cn nu cum!n s fncn !rfu grffnl, cn dnn cun!nngfrfn, c fnfcnrf dnntrf nun fstf u fnnn n lun *umnfzfu, n nu nf fstf pfrmns crntncn. *unr *umnfzfu puntf s fn,fzf !nlunrfn fnfcrunn, n Fl nr putfn dfsfurn s dfpfnsc unntnlf nunstrf. "u nn tuntf mutn!flf, cn s fn mulumnt df mprf urrnlf tnlf. "f-nu n!nt funrtf multf lucrurn. "u nn fust ns n un flf! snlntur n unflf lucrurn lf-nn nncurnt nn df tnrf n tnnf, c nu tf mnn cust nncn un ffurt. Fu !rfnu ncum s-n dnu u mnc lfcnf, cnrf tf !n cunducf ntrfngn tn !nn n tf !n nducf ln stngnul suprfm. Fstf cfl mnn grfu lucru, fstf curunnn umnlnnfn, fstf sntunnn spnrntunl, cnrf n scurt tnmp nr schnmnn pmntul ntr-un pnrndns ndf!rnt)frfn nfrtnrf, c tu ftn mutn!ul suprrnn snu fnfr!rnn lur, chnnr dnc prn!nnd dnn punctul umfnfsc nn tutun drfptntf. Ntuncn cnd unul tf nntf, ntuncn cfrfn nfrtnrf, c tu nn fust mutn!ul, pfntru cnrf fl s-n suprnt. Ntuncn cnd cnnf!n tf nnt ucurftf dnn cnuzn nspfctulun tu, ntuncn cfrfn nfrtnrf pfntru nfnnrfn tn. n dnc unul fstf dfrnn nt df prfzfnn tn, ntuncn cfrfn nfrtnrf pfntru curpul tu. "u crfzn c fu nm nfnunnt( Nu! Fu !urnfsc funrtf sfrnus. 0ncfnrc s nflfgn tu ncfnstn nn. Nn cn f,fmplu un flf!. 0n!turul su l cfnrt funrtf sf!fr, dnn cnuzn nutflur snlf prunstf. Flf!ul spunf tut fflul df scuzf pfntru nfrtnrfn sn, nnr n!turul df!nnf n mnn suprnt. )f crfzn tu c s-nr fn ntmplnt, dnc flf!ul nr fn rspuns-

4>5

*n, fu tnu, mn pnrf ru, c m-nm cumpurtnt ntt df prust. 0n!turul nr fn df!fnnt nmfdnnt mnn prnftfnus n l-nr fn cunsulnt. Ncfst lucru fstf !nlnnnl n urncnrf sntunnf. Gndftf-tf ln un pulnnst, cnrf fstf mustrnt df supfrnurul su, pfntru c ncfstunn n-n scpnt un nnfrnctur. %cuzf gfnfrnlf cn- n fust prfn ntunfrnc, mnnnn nu n purnnt rfpfdf, culfgul mfu m-n mpnfdncnt, nu df unncfn fffctul cuntrnrnu. )um nr rfncnunn unrf un ff ln rspunsul snncfr- Nmn pnrf ru, mn-n fust pur n snmplu frnc, n df ncffn nm dnt grf! %nu ntuncn cnd sf fnfr!fnz fful, c sfcrftnrn lun n nducf nctflf n ultnmn zn df rgnz, pf cnrf fl n dfcns-u( Nnnfnflfs, fn puntf spunf- )f !rfn, fu nm n!ut tnmp pn nstzn. )u ncfnst nfnrmnnf nr n!fn drfptntf. *nr fn puntf fn umnl n s spun- 0mn pnrf ru, fu nm lucrnt funrtf ncft, fstf !nnn mfn, ! rug frumus s m nfrtnn. )nnf !n putfn rmnf nncn dur( Fn n-n dnt lun cu ncfnstn pusnnnlntntfn, s fnf nnnmus, s spun- &n dn, nu fstf tutun chnnr nn df ru. *umnfn!unstr nu trfnunf ntr-ndf!r s ! fncfn rfpruurn. Mnnn s-n spulnfrnt, n lucul fn pftf sfntnmfntul, c nn nlnntnt pf cnnf!n, c nn n utnt pf cnnf!n. 'mnlnnn snu smfrfnnn fstf nrudnt cu drngustfn. Fn nu-l rnftf pf cfllnlt nncnudnt, fn nu susnnf nncnudnt ffrm drfptul fn, fn prfnn !nnn ln snnf n n crfnz prnn ncfnstn cflunlnlt pusnnnlntntfn, s-n rftrng mnnn lun, rfpruurnlf lun n s lf nlucunnsc cu sfntnmfntf puzntn!f nlf nflfgfrnn, nfrtrnn, nn chnnr nlf nunnrnn. *funrfcf, ncum, stnrfn df spnrnt gfnfrnl df pf plnnftn pmnt dfpnndf df frfc!fnn strnn df spnrnt gfnfrnlf n sfntnmfntflur n n gndurnlur, pun n tu cu ncfnstn s unnn u mnuntnrf n sntunnfn gfnfrnlf, tu nn mnuntnt fffctn! lumfn. Mnn mult nu pun tu fncf. n ncfnstn df nncn fstf dfstul df grfu. Fu crfd c tf-nm nflfs ncum. *nr dfunrfcf tnnm fu, c mn-nr fn nfsfrnt df grfu, s m umnlfsc nstffl, nm ncfrcnt fu s nrunc ultnmul mfu ntu n uc*nr fu sunt tutun mut! "cut mn-n zmnnt fl, pf umtntf mnlus, pf umtntf cu rfpruurn. 0nc nu tnn tu, c, cumunncnrfn nu funcnunfnz numnn prnn !ucf( "u pun s f,prnmn ntr-un mud spnrntunl mult mnn rfpfdf, mult mnn prfcns, cffn cf fstf prfrfn tn. "u trfnunn tutun numnn s gndftn. *nc tu l rugn snncfr n duh pf frntflf tu s tf nfrtf, fstf ncfnstn ncflnn lucru, cn n cum tu l-nn fn rugnt ntr-ndf!r pfntru ncfst lucru. *uhul lun fstf ntutdfnunn n stnrf, s prfnn uscnlnnn tn n s nccfptf scuzn tn. Fr s-n fnf cuntnfnt ncfst prucfdfu, sf schnmn nstffl ncft sfntnmfntflf snlf. n dup un tnmp fstf s!rnt cfrfrfn df nfrtnrf, fr sn fnf lun cunuscut ncfst mfcnnnsm. Ncfnstn funcnunfnz ntutdfnunn! Numnn ctfudnt nu nfnprnt n ncfl tnmp, pf cnrf nn l-nm prupus pfntru ncfst lucru. )u sngurnn ns n ncfl rstnmp, cnrf fstf putrn!nt pfntru ncfnstn. Fstf ns u dnffrfn ntrf duh n cu!nt- duhul trfnunf s fnf cnnstnt! %unt tutun gndurnlf, cnrf sf trnnsmnt# df ncffn nncn nu fstf pusnnnl s gndftn, c ncum fnc pur n snmplu nn df pnrc. Ncfst lucru nu funcnunfnz nncnudnt! *f cu!nntf dnmputrn! sf lns ln ncfput nc muln nmgnn# dnr pf durnt lung nu mfrgf nncn ncfst lucru. Nnrn fusfsfrm mult tnmp mprfun. Fu putfnm s-l nscult pf Mnchnfl urf n nr. $n fl nu m plnctnsfnm nncnudnt. Fu nu tnu, cf nm sn!urnt mnn mult, prfzfnn lun snu mprf urnmfn, pfnsn ul, n cnrf nf nflnm nun df fnfcnrf dnt. )nd fl df!fnfn tcut, m lun df mn n nun cutrfnfrnm ncft punfnflf nnnf-mnrusntunrf, m cuprnndfn cu tnmpul tutdfnunn frncn, c trfnunn ncun nnrn s m trfzfsc, s scnp df !ns. 'h dnc n putfn fu tutun s rmn numnn nncn pfntru tutdfnunn! Ncfst lucru nu frn pusnnnl. Fu tnnm nnnf nstn. 3 Fu n-nm fust surprnns, cnd l-nm !zut dfudnt pf tntn. Fl frn nnrn nncn, cflf nsf sptmnn trfcusfr. Ncfstfn nu fust sptmnn lungn. 0n nrnflf snlf nm fust fu nnrn cnnf!n, nu trfnunn s m runnfz. 0n nrnflf snlf s-n trnnsfurmnt rucn urt. Fu trfnunn s m gndfsc ln prnmn mfn pnfs df tfntru, pf cnrf nm putut s-u !d. Fu nm n!ut prn!nlfgnul, s fd n prnmul rnd nprunpf snngur. &fntru c cnnf !runn tutun s sf nfzf lng u hnndncnpnt! "ntn frn tutdfnunn funrtf trnst dnn prncnnn ncfstun lucru. &f fl l durfnu dfznprunrnlf n lu!nturnlf n cunst cuntnnuf, prudfntn mfrgfrf-ln-dnstnn, frncunsn rftrngfrf-nnpun mult mnn tnrf dfct pf mnnf. Fl suffrfn ntr-ndf!r pfntru mnnf. Fl frn n stnrf, s snmt pfntru mnnf n cu mnnf. Fl m nunfn. &u!fstfn cnrf s-n pus n scfn, sf numfn- 2ucn urt. Frn !urnn dfsprf u ruc, cnrf frn cu tutul nltffl fn df cflflnltf n frn tut tnmpul nt ucurnt dnn cnuzn nfnrnn snlf, tucmnn rucn urt. &n cf fn n prsnt ntr-u zn curtfn df rutf dnn cnuzn n nttn mhnnrf n n nlfs un lnc mnrf sprf n-n fn nuun pntrnf, undf fn spfrn, s punt trn nfrfcunuscut n pncf. *nr n lncul ncfln frnu n lfndf, n dfudnt n !zut fn n nmngnnfn sn uglnndnt n np u lfnd mnnunnt df frumuns. 'ltnmn prupuznnf, pf cnrf n rustnt-u pu!fstnturul, sunnNu dunfnz dfluc, s fnn nscut ntr-u curtf df rnf, dnc nn fust numnn ntr-un uu df lfndn. Fu nm rffurmulnt ntuncn prupuznnnNu dunfnz df luc, s fnn nscut hnndncnpnt, dnc..., dn, dnc duhul unnnf prnn ncfnstn pusnnnlntntfn, df n fncf f,pfrnfnf, pf cnrf fl nltffl nu lf-nr fn putut fncf nncnudnt. 0n nunptfn urmtunrf n!usfsfm fu un !ns. Fu ucnm tfntru. Frn u pnfs cu un snngur nctur. Fu trfnunn s uc tuntf rulurnlf snngur, clu!nul, rfgflf, nfgusturul, nnrtnul, nfntul, !ftfrnnnn df rznun cu numnn un sngur pncnur n sulnstul df upfr. Fnfcnrf scfn prnmfn nplnuzf putfrnncf. $n sfrnt m-nm nrtnt fu nc u dnt n tuntf cflf nptf mtn. Nplnuzflf s-nu trnnsfurmnt ntr-un urcnn. Ntuncn nm !fnnt fu ultnmn dnt fr mnsc, numnn cn

4>6

um, nu mnn cn nctur. Ntuncn s-nu rndncnt unmfnnn n nu plfcnt. Fu plngfnm. *nrfcturul m-n nlnntnt- Ncfnstn fstf tutdfunn nn. Nu pun schnmnn nnmnc ln ncfst lucru. 'mul nu-n nntfrfsfnz, fn !ur numnn mnscn. Ncum, tntn frn nnrn nncn, pf fl nu-l nntfrfsn nncn u mnsc, fl m nunfn. n ncfst lucru frn nfsfrnt df frumus. "ntn rfunsf s prnmfnsc un nuu luc df munc. Fl putfn lucrn cu umtntf df nurm n urn, cn mturtur df strnd n sntul !fcnn mnn mnrf. 0n nfnr df ncfnstn, n ncfput fl, s sf ucupf nnrn df guspudrnf. *nn punct df !fdfrf fnnnncnnr nsfmnn ncfnstn ntr-ndf!r u pnfrdfrf nmfns, dnr tntn frn ffrncnt. Fl sf nucurn pfntru muncn nfnr n nfr lnnfr, n nntur, cnrf n cfrfn nnrn n ustfnfln curpurnlf, n cuntrnrnu cu nctn!ntntfn lun df pn ncum n hnlflf df muntn glgnunsf n prust nfrnsntf. Fl nncn nu ddfn nmpurtnn prfstngnulun sucnnl, fl nunfn mult mnn mult lnnntfn muncnn, cnrf n ngdunn tnmp pfntru gndurnlf snlf, pfntru lfgturn cu *umnfzfu. Mnmn s-n upus funrtf tnrf ln ncfput nmputrn!n cunurrnn sucnnlf, n mputrn!n pnfrdfrnn fnnnncnnrf, cffn cf nsfmnn tutun rfstrngfrn sfmnnfncntn!f. "ntn n-n rfncnunnt nncnudnt dur ln nfnrnlf fn df furnf. Fl lf-n supurtnt umnl cu lnnntf stunc, n-n f,plncnt fn ntutdfnunn punctul su df !fdfrf, lnnntnt, ln unnfct n f,nct - dnr plnn df drngustf. n fu crfd c cu tnmpul n n nccfptnt fn ncfst fnpt. Fn l n utn pf tntn chnnr n n guspudrnf, ncft df!fnnsf fn u rnnc ndf!rnt. n cu tuntf c ctfudnt frn mult df lucru, n-n fcut fn nstn tutun nnnf, s lucrfzf nfnr. Ncum nm fust nun nnrn u fnmnlnf ndf!rnt. Fflul lnnntnt nl tntlun, nurn lun, sf nfln cn un cluput prutfctur pfstf nun tun, nf ddfn lnnntf. Ncfnstn nsfmnn mnrflf mumfnt df cutntur dnn !nnn nunstr. &fntru mnnf ncfpfn un tnmp mnnunnt. Fnfcnrf zn n lun tntn unn pn ln duu urf pfntru mnnf. Fl mn-n n prfdnt lnmnn surdu-munlur n fcfn f,frcnnn gnmnnstncf cu mnnf. Nu frn uur. Nn!turn m sulncntn funrtf tnrf, gnmnnstncn frn nfplcut, ndfsfn durfruns. *nr fu sn!urnm drngustfn, cnrf sf rf!rsn nspurn mfn df ln tntl mfu. Mnmn fcusf tutun df n n nnnntf ncfstf f,frcnnn dnn cnd n cnd cu mnnf, dnr scurgfrfn ncfsturn curnt mfcnnnc, nndnffrfnn dnn pnrtfn fn fcfnu s df!nn ncfstfn un chnn pfntru mnnf. Mult tnmp rspunsfsfm fu df ncffn puznnn fn rfspnngtunrf tut cu rfspnngfrf. *f cnd nm putut fu ntuncn s nn sfntnmfntflf mflf mnn nnnf sun cuntrul cu n uturul lun Mnchnfl, m dfrnn nu ncfstfn df n cu mult mnn punn. Frn ncfnstn u rfcununtfrf funrtf nmpurtnnt pfntru mnnf, cum unn n ncffnn dfsfurnrf, ncffnn durfrf putfn fn snmnt pf dfplnn nltffl. Fusfsf un sfmn lmurnt, c, cnlfn nlfns frn curfct, c putfnm n trfnunnm s nm pf dfplnn ncrfdfrf n Mnchnfl, dnc !runnm s n ung mnn dfpnrtf. n s n ung mnn dfpnrtf, !runnm fu! Fu !runnm s fulusfsc nnsn, pf cnrf mn-u uffrfn ncfnst !nn, !runnm s ndun nttfn f,pfrnfnf prfcum frn numnn cum!n pusnnnl. *nc fu n prfnm n f,tfrnur fr pnrtncnpnrf n dfnnl, duhul mfu frn cu ntt mnn !nun, n !unnn mfn frn funrtf putfrnnc. Fu dunr tnnm df ln Mnchnfl, ct df grfu frn, s prnmftn un trup tnn tu, spusf fl, mnlnnrdf df suflftf ntfnpt, s sf punt ncrnn. Flf tnu, c put s n ung n dfz!ultnrfn lur numnn ntuncn mnn dfpnrtf, dnc flf sf ncnrnfnz pf pmnt. $n ncfnstn fstf ns nf!unf df dun unmfnn, cnrf sunt dnspun, s pun ln dnspuznnf un .luc df prfgtnrf/, pfntru n-n fncf pusnnnl unun cupnl ncfnst !nn. Mfntnlntntfn nctunl fstf pfntru tuntf ncfstf suflftf u lu!ntur n fn. )fn mnn muln unmfnn sunt ntr-ndf!r nucurun, s nnn !unf s trnnsc nncn, s fn fust nscun, dnr cfn mnn punnn sunt dnspun, s dfn ncfnst !nn mnn dfpnrtf, pfntru c fn trfnunf ln ncfnstn s rfnunf ln u nucnt n lnnfrtnn lur prfsupusf. Ncftn unmfnn sf crfd lnnfrn, sunt df prfrf c nu sunt lfgnn n sunt dfpfndfnn df pnluln znlnnc cn un nlculnc df !frmut. Fn n nchnpunf, c sunt lnnfrn, prnn fnptul c !nzntfnz ct sf puntf df multf rn strnnf n nu n dnu sfnmn, c sf nfl sun unlngntn!ntntfn, df n clturn n dfprtrn, pfntru c snmt n nntfrnurul lur numnn !nd. Ncftn unmfnn sunt ntuncn cnrnctfrnznn cn fnnnd cu f,pfrnfn df !nn, prn!nn cu rfspfct prufund n cu nn!ndnf n dnn dnn mn-n mn cn sfnnn. )um nr fn dnc s-nr putfn fncf f,pfrnfnf f,tfrnunrf! Ndf!rntf f,pfrnfnf sf put fncf numnn n nntfrnur. $n ncfst lucru nu fstf nf!unf df culturn strnnf n rn ndfprtntf, fstf nf!unf dunr df unmfnn, cnrf nf ncun unr, pruffsnn, pf cnrf nm n!nt-u n mprf urrnlf df !nn, crurn lf suntfm sunurdunnn. Muln cunsndfr cn fnnnd ncfnstn u lnnfrtntf, s pun nfn fnfcnrf sfnr n urn, fr n fn nf!unt s nn sfnmn df cnnf!n. $n ncfnstn fn nu rfnlnzfnz, c sf nfl sun ncfn unlngntn!ntntf, s fnf nf!unn s nccfptf fnfcnrf nn!ntnnf, pfntru n fn .nn/ n nnumntf cfrcurn df cunutnnf, chnnr dnc ntmusffrn fstf ct sf puntf df rngnd n dnscunn ct sf puntf df nnnnl. Fn trfnunf fnfcnrf sfnr s nns n urn, pfntru c nu put s ncfnp nnmnc cu fn nnn, fnnndc lf fstf frnc fn df fn nnn, pfntru c lf fstf frnc, c, cnd n prpnstnn, cnrf sf dfschndf n nntfrnurul lur. Fn sucutfsc cn fnnnd lnnfrtntf, s dfnn dfstun nnnn n s-n punt chfltun dup nunul plnc, nu rfnlnzfnz ns, c fn sf nfl sun prfsnunfn df unlngnnf, s cunduc tutdfnunn mnnnn cfn mnn nuu n cfn mnn rnpnd, pfntru n nnsufln cu ncfnstn rfspfct cflurlnln. Fn nu sunt n stnrf, s-l !nd pf um, s fnc cu fl cuntnct, s ndmnt sfntnmfntflf lun. Fn !d numnn ncturul, mnrnunftflf ncflfn ncun urntf cu hnnnf, mnnnn, lucnn n prfstngnu sucnnl. Muln mfrg nstzn df n nn df dfpnrtf, s trnnsc pf dfplnn snngurn, s sf flnmnnf cuntnfnt n nfnrn urdnnnn *umnfzfnftn, pfntru n putfn sntnsfncf nfstnnghfrnn durnnflf n pntnmnlf lur. Fn cunsndfr cn fnnnd lnnfrtntf, s punt ntrfnnf rflnnn sf,unlf cu urncnrf pnrtfnfr n nu n dnu sfnmn, c fn sunt numnn prnzunnfrn nn !ncnnlur lur, c fn nu mnn put s fnf stpnn pf snnf, pfntru c nnstnnctul lur sf,unl n-n nrunnt pf dfplnn. Fn cunsndfr ncfnstn cn fnnnd lnnfrtntf, s punt prnctncn spurturnlf cflf mnn f,trn!ngnntf n nu-n dnu sfnmn, c fn sf nfl sun unlngntn!ntntf, s sf cunfnrmf n fnn lur nnn n n fnn cflurlnln cu nptntudnnn curpurnlf, pfntru c cflf spnrntunlf nu s-nu mnturnznt nc snu s-nu pnfrdut df n. )ffn cf cuntfnz, fstf numnn curpul, f,tfrnurul, f,punfrfn. +nlurn ndf!rntf nu sunt cfrutf, dunr nu sf put !fdfn, n ftn tutun numnn .cnnf!n/, dnc cfnlnln sf unt gur cnsc. *funrfcf cfn mnn punnn supurt ntr-ndf!r s fnf snngurn, trfnunf ntuncn urgnnnzntf ntrunnrn mnn mnrn, ln cnrf fstf mult mnn snmplu, s tf nscunzn n spntflf mtnn tnlf snu n spntflf cflurlnln. ' rflnnf fstf nccfptnt numnn pn ln punnt uf nu rfturn , dfcn pn ln ncfl punct, undf rnnunfn mnn puntf nc cuntruln sfntnmfntflf, rnnunfn, cnrf lucrfnz nn df mnzfrnnnl, c df fnpt nr trfnun s fnf f,nct nn!frs- snmul nr trfnun s stpnfnsc rnnunfn. n tuntf ncfstfn

4>9

numnn dnn ncfn cnuz, pfntru c ncfstur unmfnn lf fstf tfnm, s sf dfschnd nltcun!n pf dfplnn, s-l prfnn pf ncfstn pf dfplnn n snmul lur. Frnc, df n fn nf!unt s dnn mnscn us n s stnn nncn gul. Frnc c cfllnlt nr putfn s-n rnfnsc, dup cf fn n-nu dnt us nrmurn lur, plntun cflur f,tfrnunrf. 'n nstffl df fgunsm n dunfnz suflftulun cu mult mnn mult, dfct cfn mnn muln put numnn s-n n nmngnnfzf. *nc n-nr fn nnstnnctul sf,unl nfnfrnnt, n dnc nu n-nr ncurcn sfmnnfncntn! mfrfu nnrn untnrfn n nfsngurnnn cflur mnn multf mn luncf prf!fntn!f, ntuncn n-nr mnn fn ncun nnsulut df luc pusnnnl, s fnn nscut pf ncfnst plnnft. )u tuntf c nr fn pusnnnl cu punn !unn nun n fr prunlfmf mn urf, s ndpustftn n s hrnftn pf pmnt df zfcf urnA!B mnsn df unmfnn nctunl, sf fncf nstzn tut pusnnnlul, s sf dfcnmfzf umfnnrfn, n unflf rn chnnr dnn cnuzn lfgnn, sun nmfnnnnrfn cu pfdfnps n cnz df nclcnrf. n dnc mn luncflf df prfcnunf sf,unl sunt df n pf dfplnn nfsngurf, n nnumf fr f,cfpnf, dfunrfcf flf trntfsc pruprnlur frnn n sururn un n fnn nnsulun, nstffl fstf n!urtul cfn mnn mnrf crnm mputrn!n umulun, cnrf n f,nstnt !rfudnt n cnrf !n f,nstn !rfudnt. *f n ln zmnslnrf, ndnt dup mprfunnrfn cflulfn df smn cu cfluln uu, fstf mncul trup - dfsprf ncfstn fstf nnumf df n !urnn - lucunt df un suflft. Nu fstf n tut unn!frsul nfmrgnnnt un snngur ntum, cnrf nu fstf nsuflfnt. Fnfcnrf nnnmnl, fnfcnrf plnnt, nn chnnr fnfcnrf pnntr fstf nsuflfnt, n nncn s pnrcurg ntuncn tucmnn fnnnn cfn mnn dfz!ultnt u stnrf fr suflft( "u nsun nn nflnt, ntuncn cnd nn luptnt cu mnmn tn pfntru !nnn tn n tf-n snl!nt nsfrnt numnn dfzncurdul nnsulut nl tntlun tu. Nmprf urrnlf df !nn pf cnrf lf-nn gsnt tu nncn, n sf putrn!fsc nf nn df prfcns, sf putrn!fsc cu dfz!ultnrfn tn spnrntunl, c nr fn durnt ntr-ndf!r mult tnmp, s sf gsfnsc nnrn mprf urrn nsfmntunrf pfntru tnnf. Mnn mult df cnncnzfcn df mnlnunnf trfnunf nnunl s pnrcurg ncfnst f,pfrnfn nmnr, c spfrnnn lur, s nnn !unf s sf dfz!ultf mnn dfpnrtf, s n ung ln un pns mnn nprunpf df *umnfzfu, fstf dnstrus nrutnl n fr mnl prnn n!urt. n tuntf ncfstfn numnn dnn fgunsm! *umnfzfu n df!fnnt un cu!nt strnn n ncfnst mprf urnmf. 'ndf stpnftf rcfnln, nghfn cldurn, n cu fn sf stnngf drngustfn. )t df muln mnn trfnunf s fnc ncfnst f,pfrnfn nmnr, nnnntf cn ncfstf gruz!nn s ncftfzf( 3 "ntl mfu n-n dnt mult ustfnfnl cu mnnf. $n ncfput nm strpnt urncf ffl df ncfrcnrf. Fu nu !runnm s prsfsc nzulnnn mfn. Fu durfm s mfnnn lnnntfn mfn. *nr Mnchnfl m-n cun!nns, c ncfst lucru nu fstf drfpt. *nc cnnf!n n d ustfnfnl n !rfn s tf n utf, ntuncn nu ncfrcn s-l dfznmgftn. Nu l rfpfzn, cn d-n ucnznn cn s tf n utf, n prnmftf cu mulumnrn n uturul su. )u tuntf ncfstfn nu sf putfn unsfr!n nncn un succfs. )u tunt putfrfn !unnfn nu mn rfufn, s put s-mn cuntrulfz mnnnlf n pncnunrflf. &fntru c nu n!fnm cf s fnc cu mnnnlf, nu mn frn pusnnnl, s n! lnmnn surdu-munlur. *unr s dnu dnn cnp, ncfst lucru l putfnm fncf cu npru,nmnnf. Nnzndu-sf pf nlfnnftul mursf, mn-n crfnt tntl mfu pusnnnlntntfn, s spun n s f,prnm strnctul nfcfsnr. n ncum frnm tutun f,trfm df nucuruns, c nu nm rfnunnt. Nu sf putfn dnscutn prfn nnnf, dnr cfl punn ln lucrurnlf cflf mnn nmpurtnntf n!fnm n fu un cu!nt df .spus/. 3 .)unncndfnn/ n !rut, cn pf !rfmfn ncffn s sf nflf n nprupnfrf pfntru ctf!n znlf un nugnn nndnnn n ductur, un NCuDfdf, cnrf n!fn fnnmn lucrrnlur mnrnculunsf. Nun spfrnnf s-nu nprnns dnn nuu n tntl mfu, ntuncn cnd n mfrs cu mnnf n urn. $n !nnrnnnlf, pf cnrf lf fmnnn nugnnul, nm unsfr!nt fu, c trfnunn s fnf un nrnnt funrtf sfnt. Fl n ncfput nmfdnnt s !urnfnsc cu mnnf n spnrnt, nn cum nm cunuscut fu ncfnstn dunr df ln Mnchnfl. )u tuntf c fu nu fcfnm nnmnc, putfn s-mn sdfnsc gndurnlf snlf, n fu nm tnut, c fl lf puntf rfcfpnunn n pf nlf mflf. Fl prfn s tnf tutul, prfn s nflfng tutul. "ntn n unsfr!nt, c sf pftrfcfnu lucrurn nfunnnuntf n sttfn ct df lnnntnt putfn. Frn frumus. Fu n fn durnt s fn stnt df !urn cu ncfst um urf n nr, cnrf m nflfgfn n ntrfgnmf n m nccfptn nfcundnnunnt. 0n sfrnt s-n nturs sprf tntl mfu n n-n spusFu nu nm !unf s-l n ut pf cupnlul !ustru! *nc fu nn-n !nndfcn curpul, ntuncn nn-n umur spnrntul. F,nst lfgn n mprf urrn, df cnrf trfnunf s nnfm sucutfnl, pf cnrf nu putfm n nu n!fm !unf s lf rsturnm. +fn putfn nfln ncfnstn n cfl mnn scurt tnmp. Ntuncn nu nm tnut nc, cf !runn s spun cu ncfn nfnrmnnf. $n plfcnrf m-n cuprnns n nrnflf snlf n m-n nnnfcu!ntnt. 'n sfntnmfnt df cldur n df putfrf m-n nnundnt, nn cum fu nu l-nm mnn cunuscut pn ncum. 0n culunnn mfn !frtfnrnl prfn s curg un curfnt, cnrf n fcut s !nnfrzf ntrfgul mfu curp. N fust nn df putfrnnc, c mn-nm pnfrdut cunutnnnn. %unrflf lumnnn. *f nnnn cu tnmpul nm rfnlnznt, cn nsfmnn ncfnstn. %unrflf lumnnn! Frn nprunpf, putfnm s ntnnd mnn dup fl. Fu nprunpf c nm f,pludnt df nucurnf. 0n lnnntf nm ngfnunchnnt n nm ncfput s m rug. Fu m-nm snmnt nn df nprunpf df *umnfzfu, fu tnnm, c Nnsus 7rnstus nu frn dfpnrtf, fu tnnm, c frn Fl, pf cnrf putfnm s-$ !d n ncfn lumnn. )uplfnt m-nm ntnns pf nnrn n nm sn!urnt ncfst mnrncul. *nr ncft n ncfput s sf lnsf cfnn. Fnf dup fnf df cfn n ncfput s ncupfrf sunrflf, pn cnd nu s-n mnn putut !fdfn nnmnc. 0n cfnn dfns nm !zut dup mult tnmp cum sf nprupnn df mnnf u lumnn. Frn Mnchnfl. Fl nnfn n mn cu un fflnnnr n purtn u mnntnf nln cu u glug mnrf nln.

4>:

)f s-n ntmplnt Mnchnfl, nm nuznt fu ncum cum nm ntrfnnt, cf mprf urrn suntf ncfstfn, df cf nu sf puntf !fdfn !rfu lumnn, df cf nncn un pfnsn ( 'ndf sunt psrnlf, undf sunt flurnlf mnnunntf( *f cf fstf nn df rfcf nncn( Nu-n fnf tfnm, fu !un fn mfrfu nlturn df tnnf. )hnnr dnc !ntul dur !n stnngf lumnnn n tu nu m mnn !fn putfn !fdfn, sunt fu tutun nlturn df tnnf. *f ncffn gndftf-tf, dunr cldurn puntf rupf ncfnst cfn. n ntr-nfd!r !ntul n stnns ncfn lumnn dnn fflnnnrul su, n nprunpf n ncflnn tnmp s-n nuznt un zgumut nnffrnnl. )f!n pncn pfstf mnnf, m ngrupn pur n snmplu. Fu nu mnn n!fnm nfr, fu !runnm s urlu! *up ncffn nu nm mnn tnut nnmnc. 3 )nd nm dfschns uchnn m nflnm n spntnl. &fstf mnnf ntrnnu ctf!n stnclf, pfstf mnn multf furtunf pncurn cf!n n curpul mfu. Fu snmfnm mnrn durfrn n pncnur, cnpul frn lfgnt, tutul m durfn, n fu frnm funrtf unusnt. Nu frnm n stnrf, s gndfsc nurmnl, fu nu tnnm cf sf ntmpln cu mnnf. Fr n n!fn !rfun rspuns, nm ndurmnt dnn nuu. Fr !nsurn, ndnc n ntunfcnt n fust nunptfn, pn cnd m-nm trfznt nnrn. *f cf m nflnm fu nncn( *f cf frnm n pnt( )f s-n ntmplnt cu pncnurul mfu, dnr cu cnpul mfu( n mnn nlfs, undf frn tntn( Fu nu mnn putfnm s-l snmt, fl trfnunn s fnf undf!n dfpnrtf. Nncft s-nu nturs frnturnlf df nmnntnrn nnpun. Nun nm fust ln ncfl ductur nndnnn, fl n-n lunt rmns nun, n-n strns tntlun mfu nc mnn n s-n untnt lung ln fl- Fn mfrgf drumul fn. Nu fstf uur, n !n df!fnn n mnn pnftrus, dnr fn l !n mfrgf. Nu ! fncfn grn n, urncf s-nr ntmpln. Ntuncn m-n nnnfcu!ntnt, n fu nm ndurmnt. "ntn n trfnunt s m duc ncns cu mnnnn. *unr, df cf frnm fu n spntnl, n df cf nu frn tntn nncn( *f cf nu frn df fnpt nnmfnn nncn( *up u !fnncnf nu !fnnt dun ducturn. &nrf s fnf trfnz, puntf c putfm df n s !urnnm cu fn. Fn m-nu ntrfnnt cum m chfnm, dnc tnnm cf s-n ntmplnt. Fu nm ncfrcnt s rspund cu cnpul, nn cum m-n n!nt tntn, dnr nu n funcnunnt. $n fnfcnrf mncnrf prfnu s sf prnufnsc munnn n prfnu s-mn sfnf cnpul. Fn cu sngurnn c nu m-nr fn nflfs prfn nnnf. Fn n-n pnfrdut prnn ncfl uc, tfmpurnr !ucfn, l-nm nuznt pf unul dnn fn s spun. )f uc( )f sf ntmpln nncn( *f cf nu mn spunf nnmfnn nnmnc( Nnnfnflfs c nu nu n!ut df undf s tnf, c fu frnm mut. n fu nu n!fnm nncn u pusnnnlntntf, s lf put cumunncn. Nu urmnt multf urf df nftnnn, plnnf df spnnm n dnspfrnrf. Mult tnmp nu crfzut ducturnn c mncnrfn trupulun n nf!urnnrfn frnu urmrnlf uculun, cu tuntf c sf mnrnu tut tnmpul, c tuntf cflflnltf !nlurn frnu n urdnnf. FFG n FEG, pulsul, prfsnunfn sngflun, tfmpfrnturn, tutul frn n urdnnf. %tnclflf nc frnu ngntf dfnsuprn mfn n pncurnu n curpul mfu. Nu mn frn funmf, dnr mn frn nfspus df sftf. )f nu n fn dnt dunr pfntru punn lnchnd. *nr fu nu m putfnm fncf unsfr!nt. Fu n!fnm durfrn n mn frn sftf, n frnm nfrncunt, u frnc df pnnnc. "rfnunn s sf fn ntmplnt cf!n ngruzntur, ncfst lucru l tnnm. *fudnt n stnt mnmn n fnn mfn. Fu nu nm !zut-u ntuncn cnd n !fnnt. 0n uchnn fn sf nflnu lncrnmn. Fn m-n lunt n nrnflf fn, n n ncfput s m mngnf. Ncfst lucru nu l-n fcut nncnudnt. n dfudnt nm tnut, nnnntf cn fn s-mn spun cf!n. "ntn fstf murt. &f nutustrnd n nntrnt ntr-un cnrnmnuln pf cfn dfns. "u nn fust nruncnt dnn mnnn pf un tufn, cnrf n-n snl!nt !nnn n n nmurtnznt lu!nturnlf tnlf, dup ctf n spus ducturul. *nr tntn n murnt. Mnnnn s-n nncfndnnt pf luc, fl nu s-n mnn putut snl!n. &fstf cnnzfcn df mnnnn nu fust nmplncntf, n nnmfnn nu n tnut df cnnf npnrnn. *f ncffn n durnt nn df mult, pn cnd fu tf-nm gsnt. &fntru mnnf s-n prnunt u lumf. )um frn pusnnnl, cum l-nu putut lun fn pf tntl mfu. Ncum, cnd n fust n sfrnt ncns, ncum, cnd n n!ut tnmp pfntru mnnf. *up cf s-n rnsnpnt nfsngurnnn, dup cf n df!fnnt ndf!r ngruzntur, n df!fnnt dfudnt tutul gul. Nu frnm n stnrf s gndfsc, fr n schnn !rfun gfst sttfnm fu. )um!n nu trfcut znlflf, mn frn tut unn. &fntru prnmn unr nm fust nucuruns, c nu putfnm !urnn, c m lsnu n pncf. %tnrfn mfn uscnln ntrf trnstff n furnf, ntrf ncuznnf n plngfrf df snnf, n n cuntnnu sf n!rtfnu n mnntfn mfn cu!nntflf- *f cf( *f cf fu, df cf nu nltcnnf!n( *f cf fu, cnrf n!fnm n nn multf df ndurnt, df cf nu nltcnnf!n, crunn n-n mfrs nnnf pn ncum( *f cf( Frn drfpt( Frn drngustf( *f cf nu m n utn Mnchnfl( *f cf nu frn nncn, cnd fu n!fnm nttn nf!unf df fl( *up ctf!n znlf fu nu nm mnn putut s plng. 'chnn mn s-nu umflnt n m nrdfnu. Fu pur n snmplu nu mnn putfnm nnnntn. Fu nu mnn !runnm. *nc n fn putut, n fn rfnunnt nmfdnnt. Fu !runnm s plfc, frn tut unn, dunr s plfc df nncn, dfpnrtf. % m rffugnfz df dfstnnul mfu, s fug df nfcnz. Fu !runnm s fug df mnnf nsumn, df prpnstnn, cnrf s-n dfschns dfudnt n mnnf. Multf sptmnn nu trfcut df n, df ntuncn df cnd nm prsnt spntnlul. *nr nmnrul mfu s-n nccfntunt mnn dfgrnn. &fntru prnmn unr n !nnn mfn fu m-nm mnuln!nt. Fu frnm nfspus df unusnt n n!fnm tut tnmpul tfmpfrnturn rndncnt, cu tuntf c fffctflf nccndfntulun nu dnsprut df mult.) !un n!fn un tnmp mnn ndflungnt durfrn df cnp, mn-n spus ducturul. *nr cf frn mnn ru n mnn nfplcut frn - fstf grfu df f,plncnt- Mnf mn sf prfn c m prnndfn cnnf!n df cunstf n m strngfn cn n cu nntf clftn df ufl. Nnr ln ncfnstn n!fnm tut tnmpul sfntnmfntul, c nu mnn nm nfr sufncnfnt. 2fspnrntul frn unusntur, fnfcnrf rfspnrnnf mnn ndnc durfn ngruzntur. Fu putfnm s rfspnr dunr supfrfncnnl. &ulsul frn funrtf rndncnt, fu snmfnm fnfcnrf ntnnf n nnnmnn, nn df pnrc nr !rfn nnnmn s f,pludfzf.Nns nncn mcnr nu mn-nu fust !tmntf cunstflf n nccndfnt. Nncn u ulntur, fr pftf nlnnstrf, nnmnc. &f ntuncn nu m-n durut nnmnc. Ncfstf snmtumf nu nprut cu tnmpul ncns.

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$n ncfput nm crfzut c m-nm nflnt, dnr cu tnmpul n df!fnnt mnn lnmpfdf, c fu nu nm mnn tnut, cf sf ntmpln df fnpt- 0ntutdfnunn !fdfnm n urul mfu cum sf furnnu umnrf ntunfcntf. Nu frn u nmngnnnnf, ncfst lucru l tnnm. +fdfnm ln ffl df nnnf cn nlt dnt, dfcn nu uchnn mfn frnu df !nn. Mnchnfl, pf cnrf l-nm rugnt s m n utf, nu mn rspundfn. Fu nm df!fnnt nflnnntnt n spfrnnt n nunptfn nu mnn putfnm s m udnhnfsc nnnf. Frnm tut tnmpul unusnt, nfr!uns n ngntnt n nntfrnurul mfu. Furnf, trnstff, suprnrf, dnspfrnrf, frnc. Ncfstf sfntnmfntf prfnu s sf schnmnf n mnnf, tuntf frnu prfzfntf dfudnt. n tutun n!fnm tuntf mutn!flf cn s m nucur. )cn mnmn s-n schnmnnt ntru tutul. Munrtfn tntlun n lu!nt-u tnrf# dnr nu mntfrnnl, cum nm crfzut fu, cu tuntf c df ncum !fnfnu !rfmurn n mnn gfrlf pf plnn mntfrnnl, cn suflftftf. Fn frn ndurfrnt pfntru nrnntul fn, nu pfntru cfl cf u ntrfnnfn- Fn frn ndurfrnt dnn cnuzn unun ndf!rnt prnftfn, nu dnn cnuzn ununn, cnrf n n!ut dunr grn df fn. 0nnntf nu nm n!ut nncnudnt sfntnmfntul cldurnn n nprupnfrfn fn. n ncum frn nprunpf plnn df tnndrff n drngustf n ncfrcn s m nlnnf, cu tuntf c n fn frn plnn df nfcnz. Fn sf rugn mprfun cu mnnf n fnfcnrf dnmnnfn n sfnr# fu nu nm !zut-u pn ncum s sf rungf. Fn mn-n spus c !nsn dfsfurn cu tntn. Nmfdnnt n n trfnn nunptf dup nccndfnt n nprut fl n !nsul fn. n df fnfcnrf dnt frn fl mprfun cu un prnftfn, cnrf sttfn n fundnl n nu sf rfmnrcn nncnudnt. Fl n!fn u run snmpl lung n nln, pr lung, undulnt n nlund, u curfn n urul tnlnfn, mpudunnt cu tut fflul df pnftrf prfnunsf, n u fn mult prfn tnr pfntru !rstn sn. "ntn frn mnrcnt cn df unncfn, fl nrtn ct sf puntf df nurmnl. *unr cnnnnnn sn nu mnn frnu nn df strmnn, cn fn nu df!fnnt ntr-ndf!r frumun. Fl nu n !urnnt ns nncnudnt cu fn, dunr ultnmn unr. Fl n spus dunr- *u-tf ln Nnnndn 2nmn. *up ncffn n srutnt-u , n nnnfcu!ntnt-u n n mfrs n nnsfrnc, pfntru n cntn pf u urg funrtf mnrf, pf cnrf fn n-u mnn !zusf nncnudnt. 0n mn lucul pnfsfn mnnunntf, pf cnrf fl u ntfrprftn, s-n trfznt fn. *f ntuncn nu n mnn !nsnt fn cu fl. Fn nu tnn ns, cum s sf fulusfnsc df ncfl nndncnu, s mfnrg ln ncfl nrnnt, pf cnrf fn nncn nu l cunutfn. Fu frnm furnuns! Nu putfn tnt s-mn npnr n mnf cfl punn u snngur dnt n !ns( Nu nsfmnnm fu nnmnc pfntru fl( *unnnlf s-nu ndncnt ndnc n nnnmn mfn. M-n nunnt fl unrf( Fu nm hutrt, s nu-n spun mnmfn, cn ncfl nrnnt frn ducturul n nugnnul nndnnn, pf cnrf l-nm !nzntnt mprfun cu tntn. *nr cf!n m-n furnt. )u ct m mputrn!fnm mnn mult, cu ntt mnn mnrf frn furn ncffn nntfrnunr. Fn prfn s nu supurtf nncn u mputrn!nrf. )t df nnnf nm putut, n-nm f,plncnt, n n sfrnt fn n nflfs. Fn frn funrtf nucuruns. *nr fu frnm prnns n mputrn!nrn n n suprnrf n nu m putfnm flnnfrn df ncfstf sfntnmfntf. Fu nu !runnm df fnpt, n m nscundfnm n spntflf nulnn mflf. Fu nm fust suprn duznt cu nntnnnutncf, dnr ffnrn nu cunurn, pn cnd dup pntru sptmnn n trfnunt s m nturc dnn nuu ln spntnl. %pntnlul frn plnn. Fu nm fust mpnns ntr-u ncpfrf, n cnrf sf nflnu df n pntru nulnn!n. Nulnn!n df munrtf! "un n!fnu cnncfr n ultnmul stndnu n fn suffrnu funrtf mult. )u tuntf c prnmfnu sufncnfnt murfnn frnu plnnn df durfrf. Fu nu nm mnn n!ut pur n snmplu tnmp, s m gndfsc ln mnnf, dfunrfcf mn ntrgfnu tunt ntfnnn ncftn unmfnn. *uu frnu ffmfn ln !rstn mn lucnf, unn n!fn trfn cupnn, nnr cfnlnlt pntru, n ncftnn !fnnfnu nprunpf n fnfcnrf zn cn s lf !nzntfzf. *nr ct df mnrf frn dnffrfnn ntrf fn! 0n tnmp cf u fnmnlnf nprunpf c plngfn tut tnmpul n nu frn n stnrf, s rfncnunfzf nurmnl, sf cumpurtnu cfnlnln, df pnrc mnmn lur nr n!fn dunr prunlfmf cu npfndncntn n s-nr ntunrcf n scurt tnmp nnrn ncns. Fn sf rugnu mult mprfun cu mnmn lur. Fn tnnu funrtf nnnf, c mnmn lur nu-n prsfn, c mnmn lur trnn mnn dfpnrtf n mult mnn fr grn n dfct pn ncum, dfunrfcf fn n prsfn dfct curpul. &fntru prnmn unr, dup munrtfn tntlun nm ncfput s m rug nnrn nntfnsn!. 'ptnmnsmul ncfstur unmfnn, drngustfn lur, n cunstrunt un znd n urul mfu, n cnrf fu m snmfnm prutf nt. )u tuntf c n!fnu dfstulf df ndurnt, nu rfunt, s m ntruduc n cfrcul lur, n ncfrcnu s-mn dfn n mnf curn . n df fnfcnrf dnt cnd nf rugnm, dnsprfnu ncflf umnrf, n prfsnunfn dnn pnfptul mfu sf nmflnurn. Nncftul cu ncftul nm ncfput s nnunfsc cf sf ntmpln cu mnnf. Nu, fu nu nnunnm, fu tnnm! Fu m-nm mpnfdncnt n pruprnnlf mflf frnghnn, m-nm nturs cu nmrncnunf df ln *umnfzfu, m-nm cfrtnt cu Fl n nm df!fnnt u prnd uunr pfntru putfrnlf ntunfcntf, cnrf tut tnmpul sttfnu ln pnd n ntfptnu, cn nun s nf lsm pf mnn lur. "ntn trnftf, mn-n trfcut mnf prnn cnp! )um nm putut s nm fu ndffn, c fl mn-n fust rpnt! )um putfnm fu s m gndfsc, s ncfp s m cfrt cu *umnfzfu, s-$ ncuz, cu tuntf c tnnm funrtf nnnf, c Fl nu fstf n stnrf, s lf pru!ucf !rfun ru fnnnflur %nlf! tnnm cu f,nctntntf, c *umnfzfu fstf drngustfn pur, drngustf, pf cnrf nun nu putfm s nf-u nmngnnm! *rngustf, cnrf nu punrt n snnf nncn cfl mnn mnc ru! Fu mnm spfrnnt df mnnf nsumn.)t df dfs nm n!ut fu !unf s cunusc ncfnst drngustf, ctf mn-n pu!fstnt n Mnchnfl dfsprf fn, ct df sngur m-nm snmnt, dn, ct df ncrfzut nm df!fnnt fu n ncfst sfns! Fu nm fcut prugrfsf mnrn. "untf umnlnnnflf lf-nm nccfptnt cu drngustf, rfpruurn, urn n ngrfsnunnlf nm putut s lf n!nng. Fu nm df!fnnt stpnn sfntnmfntflur mflf, nm nlungnt nndul, nm df!fnnt dfmn df drngustfn lun *umnfzfu. Nm crfzut cfl punn. n ncum s-n ntmplnt ncfnstn. )um n fust pusnnnl( *n, mn-nm pnfrdut fu unrf tuntf mnnnlf( Grfutntfn grfflnn mflf m-n fcut s m cutrfmur. Frnm fu, unrf, chnnr fu nsumn( Nm nntrnt fu n ncfnst cntnstruf cu uchnn dfschnn( M-nm prfdnt fu !uluntnr cn s df!nn mnngfn df unc n rulun( 0n cnpul mfu sf n!rtfn tutul. )nnn ndncn m-n cuprnns. Fu nm !rut s fug df nttn runnf, durfnm s m nscund. )um putfnm fu s pfsc n fnn lun Mnchnfl, cf !n gndn unrf *umnfzfu dfsprf mnnf( n dfudnt nu fust dnn nuu prfzfntf! )n nntf !nfspn s-nu npustnt nsuprn mfn. Nfnumrntf umnrf m ncun urnu, m trgfnu, ncfrcnu s m sugrumf. 0n cfn mnn mnrf dnspfrnrf nm strngnt fu dup Mnchnfl, dup Nnsus. N utnn-m, fu nu mnn put!

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2 +nlurnlf df cfn s-nu rftrns ncft, prnmflf rnzf df lumnn s-nu rtncnt ln mnnf. Nnrn, flurn n pumn nu crfscut dnn cfn, psrn s-nu lsnt nnrn !zutf, lsnu nfrul s sf curfmurf uur cu !ucnlf lur !fsflf. Mncn cnscnd curgfn nnrn, dumnfn pncfn. %n nncn frn Mnchfnl! Nu plnn df rfpruurn, cum fu ntfptnsfm, nu sf!fr n nmfnnntur. Fu tf nunfsc. Fu nu tnnm cf s-n rspund ln ncfnstn. Fu m runnnm nn df tnrf. Fl s-n nplfcnt ln mnnf n us, m-n lunt n nrnflf snlf n m-n strns tnndru ctrf fl. Nu tf runnn! "u nn trfcut cu succfs df cfl mnn mnrf f,nmfn nl !nfnn tnlf. Nu !rfn tu s tf nucurn( )um pun tu s tf rzn df mnnf( Fu tnu c nm funt. Fu l-nm ngnnt pf *umnfzfu. Fu l-nm crfzut n stnrf, smn fnc ru dnn ndnns. Fu l-nm rfspnns. Fu chnnr nu put s m nflfg pf mnnf nsumn, nu put s m nfrt pf mnnf nsumn, cum !un putfn fu nstffl !rfudnt s pfsc n fnn lun *umnfzfu( "u l-nn rfspnns pf *umnfzfu, nu Fl pf tnnf. *umnfzfu nu rfspnngf nncnudnt pf cnnf!n, nncn pf cfl mnn mnrf dnn!ul, nncn mcr pf nsun $ucnffr. "u l-nn rfspnns, Fl n fust tut tnmpul ln tnnf. Ncum ftn tu nnrn nncn, n Fl nc mnn fstf nncn. )f s-n schnmnnt nndnr n cumpnrnnf cu cfn fust mnn nnnntf( *umnfzfu nncn mcnr nu trfnunf s tf nfrtf. *rngustfn nnrt tunt fnptn df n df ln ncfput. *rngustfn fstf u cuntnnu nfrtnrf, fn nu cundnmn nncnudnt, fn nu n!nnunftf nncnudnt, fn nu rfspnngf nncnudnt. "u l-nn rfspnns pf *umnfzfu n n-nn prncnnunt prnn ncfnstn nf nsun cfn mnn mnrf suffrnn. Nu pf *umnfzfu l-nn rnnt prnn ncfst fnpt, numnn pf tnnf nsun. Nnrt-tf pf tnnf nsun, nn cum *umnfzfu n fcut-u df n df mult. %nu !rfn tu s fnn mnn drfnpt dfct *umnfzfu( +rfn tu s tf cunsndfrn dfnsuprn $un( n tu ftn u fptur n lun *umnfzfu. *nc Fl n nfrtnt df mult ncfnst fptur, cum !rfn tu s ustnfncn ntuncn mnnn tn fn df tnnf( Fnfcnrf cdfrf df ln *umnfzfu nf dunfnz numnn nuu nnnf. *umnfzfu fstf nfntncnnnl. $umnnn $un n-u puntf ptrundf nncn u umnr, cflfn mnn nnltf nunnrn nu-n fstf pusnnnl, s fnf rnnt df ru. &fntru ncfst lucru trfnunn *umnfzfu mnn ntn s nns dnn %nnf nsun, trfnunn s-n crffzf u nndfntntntf prnn Nnsus 7rnstus, cnrf fstf n stnrf, s snmt rul, s-l punt pfrcfpf n s fnf n rflnnf cu fl. )t df sfrnus n lunt Fl ncfnst snrcnn, ncfst lucru l-n du!fdnt Fl cu !nnn %n pmntfnsc. Fl n suffrnt pfntru tut rul, n prnmnt ncfnstn trupfsc n suflftfsc sprf snmnrf. Fl s-n dus pnn ln grnnnn nnsulut, n dnt nc n cflf dnn urm. n pfntru tnnf, n pfntru fnptul, c tu l-nn rfspnns. *nr suffrnnn $un n cumpfnsnt df n ncfnstn. Fl pltnsf df n pfntru ncfst lucru. +nnn fstf df n nchntnt, tu gsftn numnn drngustf dup rfntunrcfrfn tn. "u nsun n-nn fn putut nncnudnt nchntn !nnn. "u tucmnn nn nflnt ncfnstn. )ununtfrfn !nnfn tnlf nu n-n fulusnt ln nnmnc, nncn cnnn tn. &utfrnlf nfgrf tf-nu mprfsurnt numnn nc tut mnn mult. *f-nnnn cnd nn dfclnrnt n dfplnnn smfrfnnf nfn uturnrfn tn n l-nn cfrut pf Nnsus dup n utur, df -nnnn ntuncn n fust nlturnt !rn n, df-nnnn ntuncn n-nn dnt tu pusnnnlntntfn, s tf n utf, s tf nglunfzf n pf tnnf n mnrfn $un frtf. *f ncffn fstf smfrfnnn nn df nmpurtnnt. %mfrfnnn rfcununtf pruprnn lnps df putfrf, fn nu susnnf cuntnnuu slu nrnlf fn prfsupusf, fn rfnun ln tuntf n unnnf prnn ncfnstn tuntf. %mfrfnnn fstf nnlftul df nntrnrf n curtul lun *umnfzfu, cnrf sf nrcunftf pfstf tun, cnrf !ur s sf ncrfnd n Fl. Nncn u furtun nu !n rupf !rfudnt ncfnstn. )nnf fstf df prfrf, c puntf s cunstrunnsc un curt pruprnu prnn pruprnnlf snlf rugcnunn n mfrntf, !n fn n!nt mnn nnnf cfl mnn trznu df ctrf u furtun putfrnnc, cnd curtul su !n fn pur n snmplu !nturnt nnnpudn. Nngmfnrf fstf numflf mnnmufn, cnrf n muc mfrfu dnn nuu pf unmfnn, cnrf n ndfnmn mfrfu nnrn s cunstrunnsc un curt pruprnu. Nu n-n rfunt nc nnmnun! Nu-n f rfpruurn, c tu nn czut n cnpcnnn rulun. &mntul fstf lcnul df sllunrf nl lun %ntnn. %ntnn fstf punctul cfntrnl nl pmntulun. *uhul su sufl pfstf tuntf, n uscnlnnlur snlf nu sf puntf nnmfnn sustrngf pf pmnt. &rnn cdfrfn lur df ln *umnfzfu, .pcntul strmufsc/, nu df!fnnt unmfnnn df un snngur cugft cu %ntnn. Fn n s-nu supus lun df nun !unf, ntruct s-nu dfprtnt df *umnfzfu. Nstffl n df!fnnt %ntnn stpnnturul pmntulun, n nnmfnn nu n putut scpn df fl. %ntnn sf numfn %ntnnn nnnntf df cdfrfn lun, ncfnstn nsfnmn pulul upus. Fl n fust prnmul n cfl mnn mnrf ngfr, crfnt df *umnfzfu cn pul upus pfntru %nnf, cn pulul upus, cnrf trfnunn s-n nduc nnrn nnpun drngustfn pf cnrf n trnmns-u n nfnr. Fl, n mprfun cu fl ntrfngn crfnnf, flf frnu prnctnc uglnndn, n cnrf *umnfzfu sf putfn !fdfn pf %nnf nsun. &fntru c ln cf fulusftf drngustfn, dnc nu fstf nnmfnn, cnrf fstf dnspus, s-u prnmfnsc( *nc nu fstf nnmfnn, cnrf trnnsfurm ncfnst drngustf n nnnmn lun n u trnmntf nnrn nnpun( Fstf f,nct cn ln rndnr. 'ndflf df rndnr sunt f,pfdnntf, sf lu!fsc df un unnfct n sunt df ncfstn nnrn nruncntf nnpun ln stnnn df fmnsnf. $n cf nr fulusn stnnn df fmnsnf, dnc n-nr f,nstn unnfctf, cnrf nr putfn nruncn undflf df rndnr nnpun( %nu cf fncf un uctur df tfnns df mns snngur( Fl lu!ftf mnngfn u dnt - n ncfstn nu mnn !nnf nncnudnt nnrn nnpun. )u tnmpul fl nncn mcnr nu mnn tnf, cum n nrtnt mnngfn, dn, dnc fl n lu!nt-u ntr-ndf!r. Nn n sf ntmpl n lun *umnfzfu. Fl nrf nf!unf df fptur, pfntru n prnmn drngustfn nnrn nnpun, pf cnrf u trnmntf n nfnr, dn, pfntru n %f putfn ntr-ndf!r df-nnnn rfcununtf, cn fnnnd drngustf. Nncn nu puntf Fl ns s fulusfnsc runun. &fntru c drngustfn puntf un runut punn s-u fulusfnsc. *nc fu n nrnt unun runut u nmngnnf n l ntrfn, dnc n plncf ncfnstn, ntuncn fl rspundf cu *n snu Nu, dfpnndf df fnptul, cum n fust fl prugrnmnt. Fl dunr nu nrf nncn u prfrf pruprnf, fl puntf rfdn numnn cffn, cf n-n fust ncndrnt n prugrnmnrfn lun. Nndnr, cnrf nr fn n ncfst cnz prugrnmnturul( *n, *umnfzfu nsun! 0n ncfnst cnz n unnnut Fl, dfcn, rspunsurnlf, pf cnrf Fl nsun lf-n pus n fpturnlf %nlf. )f nr putfn Fl, nndnr, ncfpf cu ncfnstn( Nu, runun nu n-nr fn fulusnt ln nnmnc. &fntru drngustf fstf ndfc!nt numnn u fnnn lnnfr, cnrf sf puntf dfcndf pf dfplnn lnnfr. &fntru c df-nnnn prnn dfcndfrfn sn cuntnfnt pfntru *umnfzfu nducf fn drngustfn nnpun, cnrf u ncun unr mfrfu. *umnfzfu trfnunn dfcn s nprnnd lumnnn n lumf, pfntru n putfn !fdfn.

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$umnnn fstf crfnnn, n ncfln, cnrf n ndus-u - ncfln n fust %ntnn! Fl sf n numftf ntr-ndf!r $ucnffr A&urttur df lumnnB. Fl n fust ncfln, cnrf n dus lumnnn df ln *umnfzfu n lumf n n fcut prnn ncfnstn df-nnnn crfnnn pusnnnl. Fl n fust nzfstrnt cu mnrf putfrf df ctrf *umnfzfu pfntru ncfnst fnpt, pfntru c un slnnug nr fn putut ndfplnnn ntr-ndf!r cu grfu ncfnst snrcnn. )rfnnn n fust ns unn curnt duhu!nncfnsc. Nu f,nstn nncn u mntfrnf, nncn un pmnt, nncn stflf. "utul cf frn, frn duh. $n cnrf fnpt, prfcum tnn tu ntr-ndf!r df n, duhul n mntfrnn nu sunt fsfnnnl dnffrntf. *uhul curnt fstf fnfrgnf cu u funrtf curnt n nnlt frfc!fn df uscnlnnf, n tnmp cf mntfrnf fstf .fnfrgnf cumprnmnt/, dfcn u frfc!fn df uscnlnnf nfcurnt n uns. Nndnr, n mfrs tutul nnnf un tnmp ndflungnt, pn cf $ucnffr n df!fnnt ngmfnt. +unnn lun lnnfr n putfrfn sn mnrf nu df!fnnt pfntru fl u fntnlntntf. Fl !runn s fnf cfl mnn mnrf, cfl dnntn. Fl s-n snmnt dfstul df putfrnnc, pfntru n sf luptn cu *umnfzfu n n ctngnt u pnrtf dnn ngfrn df pnrtfn lun. )nd plnnul fusfsf ntuncn gndnt, n n fust rznunul df n ln sfrnt. Nu n fust nncn un .rznun nl stflflur/ cu lncnn n tunurn. *uhul nu nrf nf!unf df unfltf. &rnn putfrf df !unn curnt fstf pusnnnl, s-n nluchfzn pf nlnn, s lf nfn fnfrgnn rfspfctn! s lf-u tnn. Ncfst prucfdfu fstf df nltffl n pf pmnt dfs prnctncnt. %f spunf d. f,. - Ncfln m fpunzfnz pf dfplnn, n sf rfffr cu ncfnstn nncuntnfnt ln ncfst prucfdfu. ' fnpt fstf cunsndfrnt ntuncn cn fnnnd s!rnt, cnd fn fstf n ntrfgnmf gndnt, cnd n duh sf nfl plnnul cumplft n nu mnn f,nst nncn u rfzfr! ln ndfplnnnrfn lun. Ncfst lucru fstf n pfntru pmnt !nlnnnl! Nndnr, cu *umnfzfu sf lns ru df luptnt. 0n mnnmn df sfcund n fust gntn luptn. $ucnffr n ngfrnn sn nu fust nruncnn n ndnc, cum sf spunf nn df frumus. Mnn curfct nr fn- Fn nu fust trnn n ndnc. *f pruprnn lur fnpt! *umnfzfu n-n pfdfpsnt nc nncnudnt pf nnmfnn n nncn nu !n fncf ncfnstn cu sngurnn nncnudnt. Fl nu fstf n stnrf pfntru nn cf!n. *rngustfn curnt n cfn mnn nnlt nunnrf nu puntf pfdfpsn, n m dunrf funrtf tnrf, s fnu nf!unt s nud mfrfu, cf nnnt nrutnl fstf *umnfzfu, cnrf n pfdfpsftf pf cupnnn %n ln fnfcnrf ucnznf numnn pusnnnl n n nrunc ln sfrnt pf cfn mnn muln n fucul !fnnc. n ln u nsfmfnfn fnnn n spunfn !un drng "nt. Fu l-n numn mnn dfgrnn un tnrnn nsftnt df sngf. *nr *umnfzfu nu fstf nn. Fl nu pfdfpsftf nncnudnt! Fl fstf numnn drngustf n nfrtnrf. *uhul sf pfdfpsftf mult mnn mult pf snnf nsun. Fnfcnrf fnpt cunnnf nutumntnc df n urmnrfn n snnf. Fstf nn, cn n cum dnc cnd n mn ulfsc gfnunchnul. Nncn un um nurmnl n-nr !fnn pf ndffn s spun, ncfnstn fstf pfdfnpsn pfntru cdfrfn pf us. Nu, fstf pur n snmplu urmnrfn df ln ncfnstn. n dnc cnd mnn tnrf, ntuncn mn lu,fz tucmnn pncnurul# snu mnn tnrf, ntuncn fstf fl tucmnn rupt. "untf sunt urmrn nfnprntf nlf cdfrnn, fr cn nltcnnf!n s-mn rndunnsc .pfdfnpsn/. Nn stnu lucrurnlf n ln duh. )dfrfn df ln *umnfzfu fstf u grffnl nn df nsfmnnt, fn fncf duhul s sf cufundf ntt df ndnc, c prnn ncfnstn fnfrgnn curnt n duhulun fstf nn df murdrnt n cumprnmnt, c fl cndf dnntr-u stnrf curnt duhu!nncfnsc ntr-u stnrf dn!nznnnl mntfrnnl, cnrf, cn n ln cdfrfn pf us, sf urnfntfnz dup grn!ntntfn grfflnn. Nutumntnc! Numnn prnn ncffn c fnfrgnn fstf murdrnt prnn gndurn. Nn n fust n ln .cdfrfn ngfrnlur/. *umnfzfu n trfnunt dunr .s-n rndncf mnn/, pfntru n cuntrncnrn ntncul duhu!nncfsc. "untf cflflnltf s-nu ntmplnt df ln snnf. $ucnffr n ngfrnn lun n-nu czut nncn fn nmfdnnt n .nnd/, fn .nu nlunfcnt mnn ntn numnn punn n us/. n cn n !un unmfnnn, tut nn nu nntfrprftnt n fn ncfnst cdfrf cn fnnnd u pfdfnps. Fn nu df!fnnt ncpnnn n furnun n nu ncfput, s-$ urnsc pf *umnfzfu, cnrf n-n lu!nt prftnns nn df tnrf. )ffn cf nsfnmn ns urn, n-nm f,plncnt ntr-ndf!r df n. 'rn fstf cfn mnn uns uscnlnnf. )u ct mnn mnrf n df!fnnt urn, cu ntt mnn ndnc s-nu cufundnt duhurnlf n stnrfn lur df uscnlnnf, cu ntt mnn mntfrnnln nu df!fnnt flf. N fust un ndf!rnt .cfrc !ncnus/. )u ct mnn mult ur n!fnu flf, cu ntt mnn mult sf cufundnu, n cu ct mnn ndnc sf cufundnu flf, cu ntt mnn mult l urnu pf *umnfzfu pfntru ncfnst .pfdfnps/. Nndnr, ln %ntnn n fust grffnln cfn mnn mnrf. Fl n fust cfl mnn nprunpf df *umnfzfu. Fl n fust cpftfnnn. Fnnnn lun sf nfl prnn ncfnstn nstzn n cfn mnn uns stnrf df uscnlnnf, cnrf f,nst ntr-ndf!r, n, nstffl, fstf fl cfn mnn cumprnmnt mntfrnf, nfclnntnt cn u pnntr. Fl n df!fnnt punctul cfntrnl mntfrnnl nl pmntulun! *nr *umnfzfu nu n-n lunt putfrfn. *umnfzfu nu n-n lunt nc nnmnun cf!n !rfudnt! *f ncffn pru!nnf fnptul, c $ucnffr fstf nzfstrnt cu u nsfmfnfn putfrf. *umnfzfu n spus u dnt- *nc nm fcut fu !rfudnt u grffnl, ntuncn ncffn, c l-nm crfnt pf $ucnffr prfn dfs!rnt. Ncfnstn nsfnmn ns- Fl nu-n fncf nncn mcnr lun $ucnffr !rfun rfpru! &un tu nflfgf dnmfnsnunfn ncfstfn prupuznnn( Nncn mcnr ncfpturul n tut rul nu fstf cundnmnnt df *umnfzfu. *rngustfn pur n snmplu nu puntf pf nnmfnn s-l cundnmnf! Ncfnstn nu nrf nnmnc dfn fncf cu fnptul, c *umnfzfu n-nr fn ntutputfrnnc. *umnfzfu fstf ntr-ndf!r ntutputfrnnc. *nr ntutputfrnncnn nu puntf tutul, fn nu puntf prucfdn mputrn!n fn nnn! *rngustfn nu puntf ur, nfrtnrfn nu puntf pfdfpsn, nncn chnnr ln tunt .ntutputfrnncnn/. *nc nr n!n unmfnnn ncfnstn tutun n sfrnt u dnt n prufunznmf. *umnfzfu tnf c n $ucnffr sf !n ntunrcf ntr-u zn nnrn ln Fl, n Fl l !n ntmpnnn cu nrnflf dfschnsf. $ucnffr fstf nnumf fnul pnfrdut, dfsprf cnrf Nnsus spunf n plndn $un, n pf cnrf "ntl l !n prnmn cu tunt cnnstfn dup rfntunrcfrfn sn. Numnn c ncfnstn !n durn cu sngurnn nc .!fnncnn/, dnr *umnfzfu nu gndftf n urf n znlf. Fl gndftf n .durntf df tnmp df crfnnf/, pf cnrf nun nu nn lf putfm nchnpun. Mumfntnn, n urncf cnz, fstf %ntnn punctul dnn cfntru nl pmntulun n stpnnturul pmntulun. Nnmfnn nu sf puntf sustrngf df ln uscnlnnnlf snlf. n dnn ncfnst cnuz fstf fnptul, c nu pun fn nfutru pf pmnt. )nnf fstf nfutru pf pmnt, .dfschns lumfsc/, cum sf spunf nn df frumus, fstf pus prnn ncfnstn nutumntnc sun sffrn df nnflufnn n lun %ntnn. Fstf f,nct nn, cn n cum tu tf-nn ducf ntr-un turfnt df flu!nu sprf u cnscnd. Nncn n ncfst cnz tu nu pun rmnf nfutru, cn tu trfnunf s !slftn mputrn! cu tunt furn, cn s n ungn ln mnlul prutfctur n s nu fnn trns df cnscnd n ndnc. )nnf rmnf nfutru, fstf cuprnns df uscnlnnnlf lun %ntnn n fstf u unfnlt n u !nctnm supus n urfn snlf mputrn!n lun *umnfzfu. "u nsun nn trfcut prnn ncfnstn . Ntuncn cnd dup munrtfn tntlun tu nn ncftnt s tf urnfntfzn nctn! sprf *umnfzfu n cu nntfnnf s trnftn cuntnfnt drngustfn

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n s-$ nunftn pf *umnfzfu, ntuncn nn nntrnt tu nutumntnc n !rtf ul lun %ntnn, cnrf tf ntncnsf cu dunnnlf snlf n tf furnsf nstffl df ln cunfctnrfn tn cu *umnfzfu. "u nn df!fnnt u mnngf df uc nl lun %ntnn, nu pfntru c tf-nn pus nctn! n cuntnfnt df pnrtfn lun - dnc nn fn fcut tu ncfnstn, nu n-nr fn rfunt ntunrcfrfn tn nncn pf dfpnrtf nn df uur - , cn numnn prnn ncffn, c nn ncftnt s-l nunftn pf *umnfzfu ntr-un mud nctn!. Nfutrnlntntf nr putfn fn prunnnnl pf stflf, pf pmnt, fn nu f,nst. )nnf nu fstf pfntru *umnfzfu, fstf mputrn!n $un. Nncn nu fstf pfntru ncfnstn ndfn uns, s tf nn df un *umnfzfu nfpfrsunnl, cnrf st undf!n n ndncurnlf unn!frsulun n n crfnt tuntf dnn ncfputurn n tf pumfnftn c nc Fl nsun n pus rul n nnnflf n lumf, cn unmfnnn s sf punt dfcndf lnnfrn pfntru unn snu cfnlnlt! 'nnn mfrg chnnr nn df dfpnrtf df n spunf, c fnnnn *umnfzfu nr cunnnf df n tut nnnflf n rul, *umnfzfu nf-nr fn numnn prnn ncffn supfrnur, c nnnflf nr fn nnut ln Fl supfrnurntntfn. %nu fn l cunsndfr pf *umnfzfu, cn fnnnd .f,pluznn dnn ncfputurn/, prnn cnrf ntuncn n dfcursul tnmpulun snu furmnt tuntf. Mnlnnrdf df mutnnn Aschnmnrn nlf gfnflur, cnrf slu fsc cn mudfl pfntru cflulB nr fn nfcfsnrf, pfntru n n ungf df ln mntfrnn fr !nn ln lumfn plnntflur n ln lumfn snmpl n nnnmnlflur, nltf mnlnnrdf pfntru n n ungf df ln lumfn nnnmnlflur snmpl ln ncfn mnn nnlt n nnnmnlflur n nfnumrntf mnlnnrdf, pfntru n n ungf df ln cfl mnn f!ulunt nnnmnl ln um. Nntr-ndf!r sunt mutnnn cunstntf pfrmnnfnt. *nn u sut sunt nuuzfcnnnuu fr sfns snu duntunrf n duc urn ln munrtf - cnncfrul d. F,. fstf chnnr unn dnntrf ncfstfn - , snu flf sunt nnrn suspfndntf df ctrf nntur. 'nn dnntr-u sut fstf nngfnnuns n sfr!ftf cfl mnn ndfsfn ln ndnptnrfn ln un mfdnu ncun urtur schnmnnt. Nln dnnn df f,fmplu ln schnmnnrfn unncfnulun lur nnturnl, snu pncnunrf mnn lungn n mnn nun, dnc fstf nfcfsnr, snu u nlnn mnn gruns, ntuncn cnd clnmn sf schnmn. Nncn u snngur schnmnnrf nu s-n ntmplnt ln !un n ultnmnn mnn df nnn, cnrf fr fn prfsupus dunr trfcfrfn df ln u fnz ln cfnlnlt. Nncn cfn mnn mnc schnmnnrf n ncfst dumfnnu nu sf puntf du!fdn. *nr n nnnn dnn-nnnntf, s fnn f,nstnt, unrf, mnlnnrdf df schnmnrn ffncnfntf( Ncfnst tfurnf sf nnzfnz n mnrf pnrtf pf dfscupfrnrnlf unsflur prf nsturncf, cnrf df unncfn dnspnr fr prfn mnrf glgnf n .nsturnn pu!fstnt df lumfn mult untnt/, cnd sf dfscupfr fnlsul, snu df f,fmplu cnd dnntflf snngur, dnn cnrf sf rfcunstrunftf un ntrfg schflft umnn cu tuntf unsflf n nndncnnlf snlf, n ln sfrnt sf du!fdftf c n fust tutun un dnntf df purc A!B! )unstrucnn rnhntnc n dffurmnt n nfnndfrtnlfrulun - unnn pruffsurn nu unsfr!nt cu drfpt - trfnunf s nn cn u du!nd ffrm pfntru pru!fnnfnn umulun cnrf sf trngf dnn mnnmu, nnr ncfst fnpt fstf u .cunncndfn/. Ncfnst du!nd nr trfnun s-$ fnc dnspfnsnnnl pf *umnfzfu, ccn dnc tutul s-n ntmplnt prnn .cunncndfnn/ mutnlrnn, ntuncn sf puntf s rfnunm ln Fl. n ncfnst tfurnf mnn fstf n nstzn !nlnnnl, cu tuntf c *nrDnn, nn!fntnturul fn, n n!ut dunnn ln sfrntul !nfnn snlf. Nnmnc, nncn cfl mnn mnc gruntf nu n fust nfnnnnt dnn grffnl! "unt crfnnn mntfrnnl fstf u cupnf fndfl n spnrntunlulun. Fn fstf gndnt pn n nmnunt n fulusftf dunr pfntru cnptul fnnnl n mnrf, dfunrfcf tutul cf n fust crfnt trfnunf s n ung nnpun ln "ntl. *nc nu mnn fstf nf!unf df u spfcnf, ntuncn ncfnstn dnspnrf# ccn nltffl nr mpnfdncn dunr. *nr dnc fstf nf!unf df u spfcnf nuu, ntuncn ncfnstn sf dfz!ult cunfurm plnnulun. *nr nncnudnt dnn grffnl! )nnf nu-$ mnn !fdf pf *umnfzfu cn u pfrsunn, cnnf nu mnn fstf n stnrf, s-$ rfcununsc cn pf un "nt nunntur, ncfln n pnfrdut df n pf umtntf. )cn cum n putfn fu s nunfsc u putfrf df !fcn, . un )f!n nfcunuscut/, df cnrf tnu ntr-ndf!r, c m-n crfnt cn n tut cf f,nst, cnrf ns ncfpf s plnfnsc tutul, fr mnl, fr n utur% sf untf umul, cum nfsf dnn ncfnst mnzfrnf, fl snngur n prncnnunt ncfnstn! Ncfstn nu mnn fstf un *umnfzfu, cnrf puntf fn nunnt! )fl mult un nnnmnl df !fcn, df cnrf trfnunf s tf ffrftn! $n un nstffl df *umnfzfu n fn df!fnnt df n df mult tnmp un drnc. "untf ncfstf tfzf lf-n mprtnnt %ntnnn n lumf, ccn cu ct mnn dfpnrtf fstf *umnfzfu dnn cuntnnnn umulun, cu ntt mnn grfn df!nnf lfgturn cu Fl n cu ntt mnn mnrf putfrfn lun %ntnnn. F,nct nn n rfunt fl, s nlungf dnn cuntnnnn unur unmfnn ngfrnn. )um put fu s cfr cun!n n uturul, df cnrf fu crfd, c fl nncn nu f,nst( Ncfnstn fstf ntr-ndf!r un .lucru dnn!ulfsc/. n mnrfn lu!ntur n-n rfunt df nnnn n ultnmnn nnn, ntuncn cnd n rfunt s sf dfclnrf nnf,nstfnt!&fntru ncfnst upfr df nrt mfrnt fl df fnpt tunt rfcununtfrfn. )um m put spfrnn fu df cnnf!n snu cum m put ffrn, df cnrf crfd, c df fnpt nu f,nst( *nc nu mnn f,nst dnn!ulul, nu mnn trfnunf s-mn fnf frnc df fl, snu nu( Fu nu trfnunf s m ffrfsc! Fu put s rfnun n ln furn mrfn n lun *umnfzfu. )cn un dnn!ul, cnrf !rfn s m ndfprtfzf df fl, nu f,nst df fnpt! Ncfst lucru fstf ntr-ndf!r dur! n umfnnrfn crfdf cu cuntnnnn mpcnt. *nc nn putfn !fdfn, cum sf nucur %ntnnn, cum n nntf uc df ncftn dunntucn, !un nn rfnunn ln tuntf nnt ucurnlf. Nu! *nn!ulul fstf nn df rfnl cn tu n fu. *fcn nu tf chnunn mnn dfpnrtf, c tf-nn lsnt prnns n cnpcnnn sn. 'n pns grfnt pun fncf pf drumul tu sprf *umnfzfu, tu nn !unf n s cnzn, dnr nu nn !unf s rmn pf us! )fn mnn muln sfnnn nu nu fust unmfnn mnn nnln. )hnnr n fn nu fcut un pns grfnt. *nr fn s-nu rndncnt tut tnmpul dnn nuu. 'mnln n plnnn df drngustf. Nnmfnn nu sf puntf sustrngf pf pmnt df nnflufnn lun %ntnnn. %ntnnn l-n nspntnt dunr n pf Nnsus 7rnstus. Fl nu n rfunt, dnr nu l-nr fn nspntnt, dnc nu nr fn n!ut nncn u nns. Nncn %ntnnn nu fncf !rfun pns nfgndnt. Ncfnstn n fust mnrfn fnpt n lun *umnfzfu , c nu n !fnnt cn un *umnfzfu pf pmnt, cn cn un ndf!rnt um. F,nst dunr punnn cnrf sunt n stnrf, s nflfng dnmfnsnunfn rfnl n ncfstfn fnptf. %f spunf nn- Nnsus 7rnstus nr fn putut pnfrdf! )n fnfcnrf um nr fn putut s nccfptf nspntflf %ntnnfn# ntuncn nu n-nr fn rfzul!nt mnsnunfn, n %ntnnn nr fn fust ctngturul! )f nr fn nsfmnnt ncfst lucru, nu putfn s ! mngnnnn! N fust un rnsc fnurm df mnrf, cnrf l-n nccfptnt Nnsus. Nnsus n rnscnt tutul - n n ctngnt tutul. Fl n rfunt! Fl n df!fnnt pudul ntrf "ntl n unmfnn. Fl putfn nfnrmn cu drfptntf- Fu sunt cnlfn! *umnfzfu nsun n dnt chfnn unmfnnnlur pfntru mprnn %n. *nr nu cu putfrfn ntutputfrnnc n *umnfzfntnn $un. Nu, umnl n-n urmnt lfgnlf pruprnn, s-n zntut cn um prnn nurunnnn dfns df rutntf sntnnnc, prnn mnncnun, nflcnunf n nspntf n prnn ncfnstn n putut Fl s snmt ntrfg rfpfrturnul n rulun pn ln nrutnlntntfn f,tfrnunr. Nn cum n fust df nfclnntnt, n putut s nn chfnlf dnn mnn %ntnnfn. Fnfcnrf um nrf n mnnnlf snlf

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chfnlf pfntru mprnn lun *umnfzfu. *nr drumul pn nculu, trfnunf s-l mfnrg fnfcnrf snngur! Fstf ncflnn drum, pf cnrf n mfrs n Nnsus 7rnstus- prnn nurunnnn rutnn sntnnncf, prnn nflcnunn, mnncnun n nspntf. Nncn ununn, cnrf !rfn s ctngf cfl mnn nnlt truffu, nu fstf scutnt df ncfstfn. &nn grfnn n grffln - sunt nurmnlf pf ncfst drum, n nnmfnn nu !n fncf !rfun rfpru. *umnfzfu tnf ncfstf grfutn, Fl nsun lf-n trnt! Fl nu snmtf nncnudnt furnf snu suprnrf. 2spunsurnlf %nlf sunt mnln, nflfgfrfn n rndnrfn. Nnsus fstf cnpnnnl s snmt, s suffrf mprfun cu tnnf, dnr nncnudnt nu !n udfcn. *rngustfn %n fstf mnlustn!nrfn f,nct ntt df nfmrgnnnt cum fstf Fl nsun. Fn mulumnt c nn n!ut !unf s trnftn ncfnst f,pfrnfn. "u !fn n!fn pf !nntur mnn mult grn n nu tf !fn schnmnn prfn uur. n tu !fn ncfrcn s nu mnn fn nn df ncrfzut n !fn ncfrcn s df!nn ct mnn umnl. *rngustfn n umnlnnn tf !ur scutn pf !nntur df nstffl df f,pfrnfnf. *umnfzfu nu tf-n cundus sprf nspnt, dnr Fl n ngdunt tuntf ncfstfn n n-n dnt nnsn s tf gndftn ln tnmp, nnnntf cn s df!n prfn sngur df tnnf, c s nu mnn fn putut !fdfn ntrfg ndf!rul. N urmnt u tcfrf ndflungnt. Fu mn-m rugnt n n-nm mulumnt lun *umnfzfu, c m-n dfsclcnt nf!tmnt, n c nm n!ut !unf s n! nttfn lucrurn. )nnf crfzn tu c tf-n snl!nt, dnn mnrnnrfn tn cu $ucnffr( Mnchnfl n ntrfrupt !nsflf mflf. *n - *umnfzfu, nnnfnflfs! Ndf!rnt, *umnfzfu fstf ncfputul, Fl fstf rspunztur pfntru tutul n pfstf tuntf. *nr Fl nu nfptunftf nncnudnt dnrfct pf pmnt. Fl n nfnnnnt n putfrfn %n mnrf lfgn cnrf !ur fn tut tnmpul n n ntrfgnmf !nlnnnlf, n pf cnrf nncn Fl nu lf ngnur. &rnn ncfnstn nu puntf un duh - dfcn n *umnfzfu - s nfptunnsc cf!n dnrfct n mntfrnf. *umnfzfu fstf dfntnstul, dnr cn s punt s scunt u msfn fstf nf!unf df un clftf, df u unfnlt. n cu tuntf c nu n-nr trfcf nnmnun prnn cnp, s n mulumfnsc clftflun, c n-n trns ntt df f,trnurdnnnr msfnun, fstf tutun nfcfsnr, ccn nncn cfl mnn nun dfntnst nu puntf fncf nnmnc fr fl. Nn nrf nf!unf n *umnfzfu df u unfnlt, ntuncn cnd Fl !rfn s nfptunnsc cf!n pf pmnt. 2ugcnunfn n mfdntnnn dfschnd drumul pfntru ncfnstn. Ntuncn nn fust tu( Nu! Mnchnfl n rs. n fu sunt un duh pur, n nu put fncf nnmnc dnrfct pf pmnt. Fu put s-n strfcur gndurn n put s tf cunduc n lnnntf pf drmul tu n prnn ncfnstn s tf mnn ndrfpt. Fu sunt n stnrf, s tf scutfsc df rflf, dnc tu trnftn pf ncffnn lungnmf cn mnnf n dnc m rugn. *nr n ncfnst sntunnf nu nn !rut s tnn nnmnc df mnnf. Nu, n fust Nnnndn 2nmn, cnrf tf-n flnnfrnt. "u n nducn nmnntf- Mnmn tn l-n !nsnt, n dunr cu mnrf ffurt n-nn pu!fstnt tu df fl. Ncfln, cnrf tf-n mpnns sprf ncfnstn, nm fust fu. *fcn, mnmn tn n fust ln Nnnndn n n-n pu!fstnt df stnrfn tn. Nnnndn s-n ucupnt df ndnt df tnnf. Fl n prfgtnt spnrntunl drumul, n rfunt, cn tu s n ungn n spntnl lng ncfn unmfnn, cnrf n-nu dfschns n sfrnt uchnn. Fl tf-n prutf nt df putfrnlf rflf, lf-n nnut dfpnrtf df tnnf. n fl tf-n prfdnt pf mnnnlf mflf, ntuncn cnd tu nn strngnt ln cfn mnn mnrf nnnnghnf dup mnnf. Nnr n urmnt u pnuz lung, cnrf mn-n fulusnt, s rfcfpnunfz cu snmul, dfunrfcf crfnfrul mfu funrtf mnc nu frn n stnrf. Nun sttfnm lng un mnc lnc, nruntflf cntnu, lnnflulflf znurnu n urul mfu, u !npfr sf trn lng mnnf prnn nnrn. 'rmnd un nmpuls, nm mngnnt-u. Fn mn-n mulumnt n s-n pus lng mnnf. Frn mnnunnt. ' nrunsc srfn, n pfntru prnmn unr nm unsf!nt- tuntf nnnmnlflf trnnu mprfun n lnnntf! Nncn unul nu sf dfrnn n pf nltul, nu sf mncnu rfcnpruc. )um sf hrnfsc ncfstf nnnmnlf( l-nm ntrfnnt fu pf Mnchnfl. Flf nu nu nf!unf df hrnn, Nncn nun nu n!fm nf!unf df hrnn. Nun trnm dnn ncfn lumnn n dnn putfrfn lun *umnfzfu, cnrf nf ncun unr pfrmnnfnt. )u tuntf ncfstfn mnn mncm n nun dnn cnd n cnd ctf cf!n. *f unncfn mncm fructf, cnrf sunt cultn!ntf n grdnnn spfcnnl nmfnn ntf. Flf ns nu nu rulul s nf ntrfnsc trupul. Nun mncm mprfun dnn cnuzn cumpnnnfn, dfunrfcf stm cu tunn mprfun. )hnnr n nnnmnlflf mnn mnnc dnn cnd n cnd fructf. % umunrf, cn s suprn!nfunnsc, ncfst lucru f,nst dunr dfpnrtf df *umnfzfu n nu sf mnn ntmpl ln fnnnf mnn nnltf. &fntru prnm unr, df mult tnmp ncuncf, nm fust fu dnn nuu ffrncnt. Fu nm stnt ct mnn nprunpf df nsunturul mfu n nm ndurmnt ndnc, cundus df sunftflf mnnunntf nlf psrnlur n df zgumutul prnftfnus nl !npfrfn. *fudnt n nprut tntn n fnn mfn. Fu nu nm putut s !urnfnsc df nttn nucurnf, lncrnmn curgfnu pfstf chnpul mfu, ntuncn cnd fu m-nm nflnt n nrnflf snlf. "u prustu mnc! )um nn putut dunr s crfzn u clnp, c fu tf-nm prsnt( Fu nu tf !un prsn nncnudnt, nttn tnmp ct !n durn !fnncnn. Fu mn-nm tfrmnnnt lucrul pf pmnt. Fu nm dnt drumul ln multf ln!nnf mncn. &f ntuncn nu prfn nm snmnt mult dnn ncfstfn. Fu frnm dfsfurn trnst n dnspfrnt, m-nm pus pf mnnf nsumn sun sfmnul ntrfnrnn. *nr df nncn put funrtf nnnf s lf !d dfz!ultnrfn. 'nflf nu df!fnnt ln!nnf ndf!rntf, nltflf mnn nu nf!unf df tnmp. Nltflf puntf nu nf!unf df funrtf mult tnmp. *nr nncn mfrgf nltffl tnmpul, n nfrndnrf f,nst dunr pf pmnt. Fu mn-nm tfrmnnnt lucrul pf pmnt. Fu nm sfmnnt rsndul mfu, s strupfsc n s lf rrfsc put df nncn mult mnn nnnf. Fu sunt nucurus n mulumnt, c "ntl nustru m-n lunt nnpun. Fu .lucrfz/ nncn mnn mult dfct nnnntf pf pmnt. *nr lucrul nncn nu fstf unusntur. % nn !unf s lucrfzn nncn fstf u nucurnf mnrf. Nncn nu fstf nnmfnn nf!unt cn s nnn succfs. Nncn dumnn pncfn n ffrncnrfn, nn cum nu s-nr putfn msurn ncfstf lucrurn pf pmnt. Nmn pnrf ru tnt, c nm fust df nfcunsulnt, c nm durnt s tf nturcn. Ncum m nucur mprfun cu tnnf, c nn n!ut !unf s plfcn. "f rug frumus s m nfrn. Fu nu trfnunf s-n nfrt nnmnc. "f rug s m scuzn tu pf mnnf, c tf-nm prsnt nn, dnn sfnnn. *nr fu crfd, c n pf !nntur !um putfn pftrfcf dfstul tnmp mprfun. Fu stnu n nn tut tnmpul lng tnnf, ln ffl cn n Mnchnfl.

4?4

"u nn n uns df n funrtf dfpnrtf, n nu mnn fstf nf!unf df prfn multf, n !fn putfn fn nncn ln nun, ntuncn cnd tu durftn ncfnstn. Mnchnfl n !n putfn spunf mnn multf. Fu m nucur, c nu mnn ftn trnst. "f nunfsc. %uccfs, pf curnd. Fu m nflnm nc n nrnflf lun Mnchnfl. Fu nm !nsnt cu tntn. Mnchnfl n rs. "u nu nn !nsnt! $n nun nu f,nst nncn un ffl df tnmp snu spnnu. "u ftn nutumnt nculu, undf !rfn s fn. n-n fust dur df tntl tu n nn fust ntr-ndf!r ln fl. )u tuntf c fl sf nfl l cn!n nnn lumnn dnstnn. Nu nn unsfr!nt tu dnffrfnn( Nculu f,nst u cu tutul nltffl df !fgftnnf. Mnn punnf flurn, mnn punnf nnnmnlf pf pmnt, dnr n schnmn f,nst nfnumrnn cupncn nnln n psrn mnrn. &fnsn ul frn muntus, n cumpnrnnf cu cf frn nncn. *n - ncum mn nducfnm nmnntf. Nun nm mfrs s nf plnmnm dfpnrtf sun nntf snlcnn fnurmf, cnrf prfnu n fn un ncupfrn pfstf drumul nustru. n tutun nu n fust nncnundf ntunfrnc. $umnnn prfn s !nn df pfstf tut, chnnr n dnn pmnt. Nun nm urcnt n nm cunurt nfspus df multf dfnlurn n tutun nu n df!fnnt mfrsul unusntur. +ulturn mrfn lucunnu sus pf !rful muntflun. %f putfnu !fdfn funrtf nnnf. )hnnr n pfntru uchn nu f,nstn !rfu lnmnt. n - fu nm !zut sunrflf! *unr funrtf punn, dunr u rnz mnc pfstf cfl mnn nnlt muntf. *nr fu l-nm !zut. 2uu n fust cfrul n urul lun, cfl mnn frumus rsrnt, pf cnrf fu l-nm !zut !rfudnt. Mnchnfl n rs. Fu crfd c trfnunf s tf ducfm nnpun, ccn nltffl nu !um mnn scpn curnd df tnnf. Mnf nu mn s-n prut ntt df nmuznnt, dnr fu nm tnut c fl n!fn drfptntf. Frn dfstul df grfu, s put s suprn!nfunfsc n !nn. *nr trfnunn. Fu nm ncfput df nnnn ncum s prncfp, df nnnn ncum m-nm trfznt. Mnchnfl n prumns, s m cunduc pn ln cnpt, n - nun mnn n!fm nf!unf df tnnf, n mnn spus fl. Fu nu tnnm, cf !runn fl s spun cu ncfstf cu!nntf. 3 "rfn znlf nn fust nncuntnfnt, cupnlul mfu. Mnmn sttfn lng mnnf n m nnfn df mn. Fu u nunfnm. &fntru prnmn dnt n !nnn mfn putfnm s spun cu nnnmn mpcnt, c fu u nunfnm. Nnnnntf m-n custnt mult ffurt n m-nm snlnt fnurm. Ncum frn funrtf uur. $ncrnmn curgfnu pfstf unrn nn fn. *ucturnn nu !rut df n s rfnunf ln tnnf, dnr fu nm tnut c tu !fn rfun. Nnnndn 2nmn mn-n spus. "u !fn durmn un tnmp ndflungnt n tf !fn trfzn cumplft rffcut. n ntr-ndf!r. Fu nu mnn n!fnm ffnr, fu nu m mnn snmfnm unusnt n f,tfnunt. &fntru ducturn frnm u fnngm. Fn m-nu f,tfrnnt dnn spntnl duu znlf mnn trznu. Mnmn mn-n spus dunr un ultnmn clnp. Fn df nnnn n putut s rustfnsc cu!nntflf. &rnntrf lncrnmn s-n nlnntFu nu put s tf nnu dnn nuu ncns. Fu trfnunf dunr s lucrfz ncum. Frn cn u lu!ntur n fn. *nr df dntn ncfnstn nm putut s nnu sfntnmfntflf df furnf n dfznmgnrf- nncnudnt nu mnn !runnm s m mputrn!fsc, nncnudnt nu mnn durfnm s pun sun sfmnul ntrfnrnn dfstnnul mfu. Nntrndf!r, frn u lu!ntur crunt. *nr fu tnnm n fnptul, c mnmn mfn frn snncfr cu mnnf. &fntru prnmn unr fu nm snmnt, c fn m-nr fn n!ut cu drng prnn prfn m. "rnstffn fn frn ndf!rnt. n nucurnn dnn ncfnst prncnn nr fn trfnunt s nmflnurfzf durfrfn mfn. n ncfst lucru s-n n ntmplnt. Frn unrf ncfst lucru u ln!nn df-n tntlun mfu( Mnmn mn-n prumns n urncf cnz, c m !n !nzntn dfs, c nu m !n lsn snngur. %-n crfnt u sntunnf nuu, n ncfput un nlt cnpntul. Nducfn cu snnf nfsngurnnn, dnr n nun pusnnnlntn. Mnn n!fm nf!unf df tnnf, n spus Mnchnfl. 3 )mnnul nu prfn prfn frumus. ' cldnrf !fchf df crmnzn cu fnndn snnnstr, snmplu, utnl n punn drpnnt. *nr nculu frn lnnntf n dfpnrtf df unmfnn ntr-un pfnsn mnnunnt. Frn ncfputul !frnn, n nun nm trfcut prnntr-u nlff df lnlnfcn pn ln cns. Mnrusul lnlnnculun s-n rspndnt pfstf tut, psrn f,nstnu multf, prfcum n fluturn n flurn. 'n pnrc mnrf cu cupncn ntrnn, n fundnl rul, un ndf!rnt pfnsn nl pnrndnsulun. *nr cf!n nu frn n urdnnf. *f n df ln punrtn prnncnpnl, fu nm unsfr!nt ncfst lucru. Nm df!fnnt nflnnntnt, dnr nu nfrncunt. Fu m-nm mnrnt, dfunrfcf snmfnm nmfdnnt nlt dnt ncfl sfntnmfnt df frnc. n df n nm !zut. Fn sf furnnu n spntflf pumnlur, sf nscundfnu, uculfnu lumnnn. 'mnrflf nu nprut nnrn! %f nflnu n urul cnsfn cn !nfspnn n urul rfgnnfn df stup. Fu nm snmnt mnn lun Mnchnfl pf nrnul mfu. % nu-n fnf frnc, nu put s-n fnc nncn un ru. Fu tnnm ncfst lucru n frnm plnn df ndf df. Nun mnn n!fm nf!unf df tnnf, n spus Mnchnfl. )f n !rut s spun unrf cu ncfnst nfnrmnnf( 0n ncfst cmnn frnu n mnrfn mn urntntf surdu-mun n hnndncnpnn. Mnn f,nstnu n cupnn hnndncnpnn mnntnln, prnntrf ncftnn cn!n mungulunzn. Mungulunsmul fstf df fnpt, c unn dnn gfnf, cnrf fstf rspunztunrf pfntru stnnnlnrfn cflulflur, sf mpnrtf df duu urn, nn c n luc s f,nstf dunr duu nstffl df gfnf, f,nst trfn. 'nmfnnn nutrn df tnnn nu nnnlnznt ncfst dfffct curpurnl pn n cfl mnn mnc dftnlnu. Fn tnu cu f,nctntntf, c fstf !urnn df gfnn duuzfcn n unu, dfunrfcf ncfnst nunl n prnmnt numflf ."rnsumnf 41/. Nnc u nlt mutnlnnf .fr rust/ nr spunf unmfnnn nutrn df tnnn. Nh, dnr dnc nr cfrcftn tut ntt df ntfnt cnuzn spnrntunl, ntuncn puntf c nr n ungf fn ln un rfzultnt. Fu cfl punn nu m !d cn u mutnlnt /fr rust/.

4?5

)mnnul frn cundus df mncuf cntulncf, dnn urdnnul frnncnscnn, nnr ncfstfn lucunn dunr ln cn!n mftrn dfprtnrf ntr-u mnstnrf. *f mnstnrf npnrnnfn u nnsfrnc mnnunnt, cnrf nrtn cn mnnnnturn cntrfdnlfn nnruc, pf cnrf fu nm !zut-u mprfun cu tnt n urn. )u tuntf c pf dnn nfnr prfn dfstul df dfrpnnt, frn n nntfrnur ntr-u stnrf dfstul df nun. 'n mnrf numr df sfnnn ucup lucul df pf zndul f,tfrnur, tn!nnul rutund frn dumnnnt df pncturn, nlf crur culurn nlndf n mntf du!fdfnu c nu nu mnn trfnunt s supurtf df mult tnmp u rfstnurnrf. "utul frn ncrcnt cu urnnmfntf sculptntf, nnr drngustfn sf putfn snmfn pur n snmplu nc, prnn cnrf n fust cunstrunt ncfnst nnsfrnc ntr-u !rfmf, undf mnn f,nstn tnmp, undf *umnfzfu nu frn u fngur sfcundnr, undf Fl frn df fnpt cfntrul !nfnn. 'ndf mnrf mn urntntf n tnmpulun n-n fust dfdncnt $un, undf cnsn %n ntrfcfn nc cflflnltf cnsf n frumusff n mnfstrnf n nu dnn cnuzn utnlntnn n snmplntnn n fnn urncrfn culnnf n fust nfznt n umnr. *nr trfnun s fn fust u !rfmf, n cnrf dumnnn frncn. &ncturnlf pf pfrfn n pf tn!nn lsnu lnmpfdf s sf nflfng ncfst lucru. Frnu stpnntf df mnrflf .*umnfzfu fulgfrtur/, cnrf prfn cu tunt putfrfn %n n cu utnlf %nlf df ngfrn mnn dfgrnn cn un cumnndnnt df lupt, cnrf frn prfgtnt, s nruncf sprf n fn pr nn n nnd pf cfn nfcrfdnncnun. *f pf chnpul multur sfnnn sf putfn !fdfn ncfst fnpt. *nr duu fngurn prfnu plnnf df drngustf, nn cum fstf df fnpt fnnnn lun *umnfzfu- Mnrnn n npustulul Nunn. &f chnpurnlf lur nu sf !fdfn nncn u trstur df frnc. )rucfn dnn ncpfrfn nltnrulun, sun cnrf fn ngfnunchnnu, strlucfn pfstf tuntf. Ntuncn cnd sunrflf dnmnnfnn strlucfn prnn ffrfnstr, lumnnn ntr-u culunrf nurnf n strlucfn ln ffl cn sunrflf pn n cflf mnn ndfprtntf culurn. )hnnr n 7rnstus nsun strlucfn. Fl nu ntrnn cn .murt/ pf crucf, nn cum sf puntf !fdfn dfsfurn. )urpul $un puntf c n fust nfnsuflfnt, dnr Fl strlucfn. Fl n fust ctngturul, Fl n n!nns munrtfn, ndnc munrtfn spnrntunl, nf-n flnnfrnt cu tutul df $ucnffr n n df!fnnt un pud sprf "ntl. Nrtnstul prfn s fn tnut tuntf ncfstfn. )n ntr-u cnrtf sf putfn cntn n ncfst Nnsus. Fl fmnnn u putfrf n u sngurnn, nn cum fu nu nm mnn ntlnnt nn cf!n pn ncum. Nncnudnt nu nm !zut fu n ncfnst nnsfrnc !rfu umnr. Frn df pnrc nr fn fust 7rnstus prfzfnt n prfn pnrc, c pf tun cnrf sf rugnu nncn n ndncfn n !nnrnnnlf %nlf. "unurnlf nrgnntnn dnr tutun mun nlf urgnn mfcnnncf nnruc, cnrf n fn nu n trfnunt s fnf rfstnurnt, nccfntun ncfst fffct n !r fn prc u stnrf nprunpf cfrfnsc. Nncn un tun nf frn prfn tnrf, nncn unul prfn dfplnsnt, nncn un sunft nf ln luculun lun nu dfrnn n slu nn. *rgstus n nlnd sf mncnu ncfstf sunftf prnn ncpfrfn, cnrf susnnfn cu furmn sn !nnrnnnlf n lf rutun fn. )hnnr n cunstrucnn nu n putut s sf cunstrunnsc dnn grffnl. Mnftrnn df cunstrucnf nu tunt prunnnnl ncfstf lucrurn, fn frnu nntrudun n lumfn !nnrnnnlur n n nrmunnfn. Nncn un cul nu dnstrugfn !nnrnnnlf rugcnunnn. Furmn frn ntt df pfrffct cn u mnu. %f nsfmnnu !nnrnnnlf nrmunncf, cu cflf cnrf lf-nm trnt fu dfsurn cu Mnchnfl. Nncnundf nu nm fust fu pf pmnt mnn ffrncnt dfct n ncfnst nnsfrnc. )u tutul nltffl frn n cmnn. Muln frnu ncun urnn df umnrf, cnrf sf nnfnu dup fn cn lnpnturnlf n n nsufnu zn n nunptf. %cfnn frn ct sf puntf df grunznnc. Fu frnm funrtf spfrnnt dnn ncfnst cnuz, dfunrfcf pn ncum fu nu nm mnn putut unsfr!n nstffl df lucrurn. &n ncum nm putut dunr s snmt, dnc un um fmnnn !nnrnnn nunf snu rflf. Ncum trfnunn s rfcunusc, c dfsurn frnu ncfstf umnrf, cnrf schnmnnu !nnrnnnlf. )u ct mnn multf frnu n urul unun um, cu ntt mnn mult m snmfnm rfspnns df fl, cu ntt mnn tnrf m nnmfrnu !nnrnnnlf snlf, cu tuntf c umnrflf nu prfnu nncnudnt c !ur s m ntncf pf mnnf. 'mnrflf prfnu, c nncn nu sf nntfrfsfnz df mnnf. Multf dnn sururn frnu drguf, dnr f,nstnu dunr duu, cnrf m-nu nccfptnt pf mnnf ntru tutul, nn cum n fcut-u surn Nfnfdnctn. Ncfstf duu sururn frnu n flf lnnfrf df nstffl df umnrf. +nnrnnnlf lur frnu dfschnsf n purf. Nculu undf frnu flf, rspndfnu lnnntfn n pncfn. )hnnr n cupnnn, cnrf frnu tut tnmpul nflnnntnn, rfncnunnu ln ncfstf !nnrnnn. 0n prfzfnn lur nu prfn f,nstn cfnrt snu nfnflfgfrn, flf lf nmflnurnu df n df ln ncfput. Nu n susnnfnu nncnudnt drfptntfn, flf nu trfnunnu s fnf n!nngtunrf ntr-u cfnrt, putfnu s sf rftrng umnlf, fr s pnnrd n fnn lur nsun fnn. Frnu ntt df tnrn n snnf, c nu mnn lf frn nfcfsnr nnmnc dnn f,tfrnur. )u tnmpul, cnd fu putfnm df n s m unt mnn ndnc n nnmnlf lur, tnnm n mutn!ulNdnc n nntfrnurul lur nrdfn u lumnn, cnrf strlucfn pfstf tut nuntrul. Ncfn lumnn frn nsun 7rnstus. Flf snu prfdnt cu tutul n ncfn lumnn, nu prnmnt-u fr fzntrn. &rnn fnptul c ful pruprnul , pruprnnlf lur durnnf lfnu nnunt, putfn s strlucfnsc ntt df tnrf ncfnst lumnn. Flf nu rfnunnt ln tutul, nu mnn frnu prnnsf df nnmnc. Nnnnn, mnrcmnntfn, mncnrfn, prfstngnul, fnnmn, durnnf lumftn, lf tuntf lf-nu dnt drumul n prnn ncfnstn nu ctngnt flf cu mult mnn mult. Flf n!fnu !unf s sf tupfnsc cu fnnnn ncflfn lumnnn. Flf nu mnn trfnunnu s cuntrulfzf sfntnmfntflf df ur, furnf n suprnrf. Ncfstf sfntnmfntf nncn nu mnn f,nstnu n flf, nu mnn gsfnu nnmnc, n cnrf s punt lucun. Nn nu df!fnnt ncfstf duu surf nsun drngustfn. $nnntfn ndnc, nntfrnunr n sngurnnn frnu dfstul sprn nn, flf nu mnn n!fnu nf!unf df nltcf!n n frnu lnnfrf prnn ncfnstn, s drunnsc tutul, s fmnnf fr ntrfruprf drngustfn lur. Ndf!rntn drngustf nu fstf cn u lumnnrf, cnrf sf cunsum n sf sncrnfnc. $umnnn drngustfn strlucftf prnn drunrf dunr mnn tnrf. *f!nnf cn un sunrf cnrf nu sf stnngf nncnudnt, cnrf crftf tut tnmpul n df!nnf mnn strlucntur, sf hrnftf dnn lumnnn !fnnc, dnn sunrflf df !fcn n lun *umnfzfu. *rngustfn ncfstur surf nu sf rftrgfn nncn df ln cfn, cf trfnunnu s trnnsc cu nttfn umnrf n urul lur. Nu sf rftrgfnu df lng ncftnn. Nu trfnunnu s sf npfrf n nntfrnur, flf putfnu nnsunrnf ncflf ngrfsnunn n putfnu s lf trnnsfurmf n drngustf. n df fnfcnrf dnt sf cutrfmurnu ncflf umnrf, n pnfrdfnu fchnlnnrul n pncnu n ndncurn snu frnu dntf ln u pnrtf. Mn urntntfn dnntrf cflflnltf surf frnu n flf drguf n prnftfnunsf. Frnu tut tnmpul prfgtntf cn s n utf n s nlnnf. N df!fnnt slu nn lur, s nnn grn df nun, n nuu nu nf lnpsfn nnsulut nnmnc. Flf fcfnu tutul cf putfnu. *nr frn dnfncnl pfntru flf, s fnf tunt znun drguf. 'nflf frnu cfl punn mnn nnnf prutf ntf. %pnnul lur df

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fnfrgnf rmnfn cfl punn stnnnl. Ngrfsnunfn snu suprnrfn sf uprfn nculu cn ntr-u uglnnd, dnr nu frnu schnmnntf n drngustf, cn rmnfnu cn u fnfrgnf nfgntn! n ncpfrf. *nr mn urntntfn dnntrf ncflf surf nu n!fnu ncfnst prutfcnf. )mpul lur df fnfrgnf nu frn stnnnl, frn cn u tun df mnnn, cnrf n!fn u gnur. 'mnrflf nnsurnfnu tutul cu mnrf puft. %f putfn !fdfn tut tnmpul un ru df fnfrgnf, cnrf cn un curdun umnnlncnl spnrntunl sf ntnndfn prnn ncpfrf. n nu numnn pruprnnlf umnrf frnu prfzfntf cn nntf mncn !nmpnrn, n cflf nlf cupnnnlur sttfnu n nnsurnfnu tutul cu mnrf puft. Flf prfnu s crfnsc n prfnu s df!nn cum!n mnn ngrfsn!f, mnn !nn n ncfpfnu s trncnsfzf cupnnn n mnn tnrf. Nn sf nfnnnn u sntunnf pnrndu,, c n urul unfn surf nmnnnlf frn dunr nflnnntf, cfnrt n nn!ndnf. Ncflf surf frnu .mncntf/ df mfsfrnn lur! 0n ndf!rntul sfns nl cu!ntulun! *nc cun!n n sf nn tut tnmpul fnfrgnn, trfnunf s df!nn unusnt. Ncfstf surf frnu cn nntf lumnrn. n flf fmnnnu lumnn, cldur, dnr sf prpdfnu prnn ncfnstn! Flf nu nu prnmnt n snnf nc lumnnn !fnnc, cnrf pruducf fr pnuz fnfrgnf nuu. $f lnpftf ncrfdfrfn pfntru ncfnstn. $umnnn puntf s-u prnmfnsc dunr ncfln, cnrf n rfnunnt cu tutul ln snnf, cnrf n dnt drumul ln tut cf fstf mntfrnnl. n ncfst nct df munc pruprnf, nfcfsnt mult curn n ncrfdfrf. *nr ntuncn df!nnf dnn crfdnn cununtfrf. Fu crfd n *umnfzfu df!nnf Fu tnu, c "u f,ntn. Ncfstn fstf pnsul cfl mnn nmpurtnnt. Nncunftunrfn, cnrf nchndf ncfn u, fstf frncn! Frncn, s rfnunn ln tutul, pfntru c nu sf tnf, c mnn trznu nu stnn pur n snmplu n pustnu, snngur n prsnt. Frncn, s rfnunn ln pruprnul tu Fu, pfntru c nu sf tnf, cf sf prnmftf n schnmn. Frncn, s rfnunn ln !nznnnlul mntfrnnl, pfntru c nu fstf df ncrfdfrf cf!n cf nu sf !fdf, spnrntunlul, dfunrfcf nu sf puntf !fdfn. Frncn, c nu !n f,nstn tutun un *umnfzfu! Ncfnstn fstf rscrucfn nmpurtnnt n f,nstfnfn nunstrf. Ntuncn cnd nun nm n uns ln u, nu nf mnn puntf n utn nnmfnn. Nun nnnf, n dunr nun, putfm n trfnunf s dfschndfm ncfn ncunftunrf. Fnfcnrf, cnrf cnut, fstf cundus pn nncn, fnfcnrf, cnrf cfrf, nu trfnunf s mfnrg snngur ncfst drum. *nr ncfn nchunftunrf, trfnunf s-u dfschnd snngur. Fr n utur! Fl nsun trfnunf s-n n!nng tfnmn. Fl trfnunf s spun- *n, fu crfd, fu tnu, c "u f,ntn! Fu tnu c "u f,ntn n fu tnu c "u ftn funrtf nun. Fu tnu! Nu, pfntru c tf-nm !zut, nu, pfntru fnptul c mn-nn nrtnt mnnunnn, nu, pfntru c "u nu mn-nn lsnt prnntr-un mnrncul u nlt nlfgfrf. Nu - fu tnu ncfnstn pur n snmplu, pfntru c snmt, c "u trfnunf s f,ntn, pfntru c fu snmt drngustfn pf cnrf u fmnnn "u. Fu tnu ncfnstn pur n snmplu, n fu tf nunfsc *umnfzfulf! Frncn fstf cfl mnn mnrf nlnnt n lun %ntnnn. Fl u mfnnnf dup putfrnlf snlf, ccn un cnrf fstf nchns dnn ncfnst cnuz, fstf df fnpt punrtn sprf lnnfrtntf, cnrf lns n urmn sn pf !fcn mprnn lun %ntnnn. Ntuncn cnd un sf nchndf n urmn tn, nu mnn nrf fl nncn u putfrf, ncnnflf snlf sunt dunr nrfnlf. Ncfln, cnrf st n fnn unn, fstf cuprnns mnn nc u dnt uur df fl n fstf dnn nuu trns punn n ndncurn. )nd nn trfcut df ncfn u, ntuncn nn rfunt. Muln stnu nnn ntrfgn n fnn ncflfn un. Fn sunt dfstul df putfrnncn, s sf ffrfnsc df ntncurnlf lun %ntnnn, dnr fn nu nu curn ul, s dfschnd ncunftunrfn. $f fstf frnc s rfnunf ln .fgu-ul/ lur, pf cnrf l-nu nprnt cu grn n cnrf lf-n ndus n uchnn lumnn cnnstf n sln!. Fn sf tfm, pfntru c nu put crfdf, c ndf!rntn putfrf sf nfl n duh - trupul sf !fstf ftf n nn n cn!n nnn. *fznmgnn n dfspncnn n nntfrnurul lur sf nturc fn dnn drum, pfsc pf trfptf n us, n cnut ffrncnrfn n sngurnnn mntfrnnl n nu nf!unf ntuncn ndfsfurn df funrtf mult tnmp, pn cf fn n ung nnrn ln prngul duhulun. Fn sf nsfnmn cu u lumnnrf, cnrf nu sf lns nprnns, dnn prncnnn frncnn, c fn sf dnstrugf nstffl. Numnn - ln cf fulusftf fn ntuncn( Fn sf nsfnmn cu u smn df rsnd, cnrf nu sf lns pus n pmnt, pfntru c fn trfnunf ntuncn s rfnunf ln nndfntntntfn fn. *nr tucmnn numnn prnn ncfnstn puntf fn s nduc rundf ultfrnunrf, cnrf punrt !nnn fn mnn dfpnrtf, n cnrf fn puntf s trnnsc spnrntunl mnn dfpnrtf. $n cf fstf fn nltffl df fulus( Fn puntf s sf nn nc cn!n nnn, sf ufnlftf, putrfzftf n munrf ntuncn. Ncfnst murnrf urmfnz, cf-n drfpt, mnn muln nnn mnn trznu, dfct dnc fn nr fn sfmnnt, dnr ncfnst murnrf fstf dffnnntn!. 0ntr-un cnz nducf munrtfn fn !nn nuu ln n!fnl, n cfllnlt cnz fstf fn munrt. %ururnlf ncfstur duu grupurn n lunu putfrfn lur dnn rugcnunf. 2ugcnunfn fstf furmn f,tfrnunr, cnrf fncf pusnnnl cunfctnrfn nntfrnunr cu lumnnn dnn ncfputurn n lun *umnfzfu. Fu putfnm !fdfn ndfsfn, cum uscnlnnnlf rugcnunnn l nfurnu pf dfplnn pf cfl cnrf sf rugn, sf punfnu prutfctur n urul lun. )um flf ptrund trupul pf dfplnn. 'scnlnnnlf nnltf nlf unfn rugcnunn pnsnunntf, cnrf !nnf ntr-ndf!r df ln nnnm, put s trnnsfurmf n sus uscnlnnnlf unsf nlf trupulun ntr-u sffr mult mnn nnlt, .sf lf ndfprtfzf/. 2ugcnunfn curftf uscnlnnn pruprnf, nn nct umul fstf n stnrf, s prfnn fnfrgnn nnlt, curnt n lun *umnfzfu. Fstf f,nct cn n ln rndnuu. 'n npnrnt df rndnu prust nu puntf nnnf dnstnngf frfc!fnflf dnstnnctf, sunt tutdfnunn sunftf sfcundnrf n sunftf df dfrnn df fn. Nntrfngn .murdrnf/ fstf prflunt n nnrn rfdnt. 2ugcnunfn fstf fnltrul df dfsprnrf. )u ct mnn nntfnsn!, cu ct mnn umnl, cu ct mnn plnn df drngustf fstf fn, cu ntt mnn nnnf funcnunfnz fl, cu ct mnn mult .murdrnf/ ndfprtfnz fl prnn fnltru, cu ntt mnn curnt n prfnuns fstf fnfrgnn, pf cnrf u lns fl s trfnc. )t df muln sf mulumfsc cu murdrnn! n sf mnr ntuncn, df cf .muturul/ lur nu funcnunfnz cum trfnunf, df cf sf nlnnf fl cuntnnuu n sf uprftf, df cf trfnunf fn cuntnnuu s mfnrg n .ntflnfrul df rfpnrnnn/, pfntru n-l punf nnrn n funcnunf. Funrtf rfpfdf nm rfcunscut fu, cf nnnfcu!ntnrf fstf rugcnunfn pfntru ncfnn, cnrf crfd n ncfnstn smfrnn n plnnn df ncrfdfrf. n cupnnn, n crur sntunnf frn cfn mnn rfn, nu df!fnnt n tnmpul rugcnunnn cfl mnn ndfsfn funrtf lnnntnn. 'scnlnnn $un n pnrnlnznt umnrflf. Flf mfrgfnu cu tnmpul cn fnnnf f,tfnuntf ln !nctnmflf lur, dn, flf trfnunnu ndfsfn s sf dfprtfzf pf dfplnn. 0n nnsfrncn ncfnstn n mnstnrnn n-nm !zut fu nncnudnt umnrf n cuntrnrnu cu nltf nnsfrncn pf cnrf lf cunutfnm. Furmn fn, fngurnlf fn, nmngnnnlf, nrmunnn, cldurn n prutfcnn fn, pf cnrf fn lf fmnnn, furmn u uscnlnnf ntt df curnt n cumprnmnt - fn frn pfntru umnrf df nfptruns. ' rugcnunf ntr-u nstffl df mprf urnmf fstf nc cu mult mnn ffncnfnt, n sf nmulftf putfnnnl nc u dnt, dnc muln sf rung mprfun. ' uscnlnnf nn df nmfns trfcf pur n snmplu prnn nzulnturul, cnrf sf nfl ntrf um n *umnfzfu,

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curfntul puntf s curg lnnfr. 'n .fnur df fmunf/ sf ducf pf spntf n us. Ncfnstn fstf fnfrgnn cnrf sf rf!nrs n nun prnn culunnn !frtfnrnl, ncfnstn fstf hrnnn duhu!nncfnsc, cnrf nlnmfntfnz cfntrflf nunstrf df fnfrgnf. $n hrnnn fnznc pfntru trupul nustru tnf ncfnstn fnfcnrf- cu ct mnn curnt fstf hrnnn, cu ct mnn punnf sunstnnf df dffurn cunnnf fn, cu ct mnn punn .murdrnf/, cu ntt mnn nun, cu ntt mnn df mnn mnrf !nlunrf fstf fn. "ut nn stnu lucrurnlf n cu .hrnnn duhu!nncfnsc/. Numnn c ncfnstn fstf mult mnn nmpurtnnt pfntru sntntf n pfntru cnpncntntfn df rnndnmfnt, dfct hrnnn trupfnsc. *f cf sf mulumfsc nncn nn df muln cu .murdrnn/( F,nstnu n unflf sururn, cnrf frnu tut tnmpul prust dnspusf, ntrtntf n nunntunrf df cfnrt n fr drngustf. )n mgnrn df crnt ducfnu flf umnrflf lur cu flf. )fl mnn ru frn cnzul ln ndmnnnstrntunrf. Frn u snngur mnsc ntunfcnt, cnrf fnfrnfn nculu n ntfptn, s-n ncurn fzf nnrn !nctnmflf sprf .fnptf/ nun. Ncfstf umnrf nu sunt ntr-ndf!r n stnrf, s nfptunnsc snngurf fnptflf lur rflf. Flf nu nf!unf df cnnf!n, cnrf fncf ncfnstn pfntru flf. "untf mncnlf gfluznn n nntrngn, luptflf sfcrftf pfntru putfrf, dumnnn dfschns n ngrfsnunfn, ur, furnf, mnnf, mnncnun n dnstrugfrf sfr!fsc ncfstur umnrf pfntru sturnrfn snmurnlur lur dfgfnfrntf. Flf sf sntnsfnc n lcumnn !nctnmfn lur n u ndfnmn nfstulf sprf tuntf pntnmnlf n !ncnnlf, nlcul, lcumnf df sn!urnrf, sf,unlntntf n tuntf !nrnnnnlf, dfpfndfn df drugurn n df tnnlftf, tuntf ncfstfn sunt lucrurn, cnrf trnnsfurm fnfrgnn curnt *umnfzfnfnsc n fnfrgnf nfgntn!, dnstrugtunrf. Nu unsfr!, nndnr, ncftn unmfnn df luc, cum fn nu rfnunnt ln lnnfrtntfn lur, cum fn s-nu fcut scln!n - df nun !unf u mnngf df uc nlf putfrnlur rulun( *nc fn nr putfn !fdfn, cum ncfstf umnrf sf nucur df fnfcnrf ncnunf rfunt, lur lf-nr fn ru dnn cnuzn scrnfn! )nnstf n rfnumf, dup ncfstf lucrurn sf strdunftf nstzn ntrfngn lumf, stpnnrf pfstf ct sf puntf df muln nlnn. $n ncfnstn nu nu cfn mnn muln nncn mcnr putfrf pfstf fn nnn. Nuturfnlnznrfn fstf mnrfn df!nz! Ncfnstn sf cnut pfstf tut, n snngurtntf, n dnscutfc, n rn strnnf - nu ln snnf nsun. )um put fu nndnr s m nuturfnlnzfz, dnc funcnunfz cn un runut n urmfz cumnntf tuturur nntrngnlur nlf putfrnlur rulun( Nnmfnn nu lf fstf nfn uturnt lsnt prnd! Fnfcnrf puntf s sf mputrn!fnsc! Nrmflf sunt !unn n rugcnunfn - n ngfrul mfu, cnrf mfrgf tcut nlturn df mnnf n ntfnpt numnn fnptul, cn fu s-n dnu n sfrnt frul !nfnn mflf lun n mn, cn fl s m punt ndrumn n cunducf - nu n scln!ngnf, cum prftnnd ntt df muln nnt ucurnturn, nu- n lnnfrtntf! Numnn c lnnfrtntfn nu nsfnmn, s pun fncf urncf !rfn tu. $nnfrtntfn nsfnmn s pun fncf tutul, cf fstf putrn!nt. +unnn nunstr fstf mult prfn tnrf nnflufnnt dnn tuntf prnlf pusnnnlf. "untf uscnlnnnlf nlf cflurlnln unmfnn n cflf nlf putfrnlur rulun u nnflufnfnz. *f-nnnn cnd nun !um prflun !unn lun *umnfzfu, suntfm nun ntr-ndf!r lnnfrn. Fl pusfd snngurn !unn lnnfr, nfnnflufnnt df tun cfnlnln, n fnfcnrf fstf nstffl cu fl, cnrf fstf dnspus, s nduptf !unn $un. n sururnlf ncfstun ultnm grup sf rugnu, tut nn cn n cflflnltf. 0n f,tfrnur nu frn nncn u dnffrfn df rfmnrcnt. *nr ct df nnnf, c cfn mnn muln nu sf put untn n nnnm! Fstf df nfnchnpunt, ln cf ffl df lucrurn sunt unnn n stnrf s sf gndfnsc pf lng rugcnunf. Nmnrcmnntfn curnt puntf s nscund unflf lucrurn# nmpurtnnt fstf ns, cum nrnt stnrfn pf dfdfsunt. 3 Ncfnstn n fust dfcn nmprf urnmfn mfn nuu pfntru tnmpul urmtur. Fu frnm nnnf ntrfnnut, sururnlf n ddfnu ntr-ndf!r tunt snlnnn. 'nn dnntrf flf m-n n!nt chnnr s n cntfsc. Fn putfn funrtf ndnc s sf trnnspun n nntfrnurul mfu n n unsfr!nt rfpfdf, c fu nr trfnun s fnu n stnrf df ncfnstn. Fu nm n n!nt ncfnstn funrtf rfpfdf, numnn c fu n!fnm tut tnmpul nf!unf df cnnf!n, cnrf s-mn ntunrc pngnnnlf, fnnndc pfntru nn cf!n nu frnu mnnnlf mflf n stnrf. *nr nun frnm u mnrf cumunnntntf, undf fnfcnrf l n utn pf cfllnlt, nn df nnnf pf ct putfn. N fust u mnrf nnugnrf pfntru mnnf. Fu nm unsfr!nt ncun, c multf lucrurn mn frnu pf dfplnn strnnf. *nc nm n!ut pn ncum df n dfstulf ucnznn, s m n! n rndnrf, ntuncn fu trfnunn ncum ntr-ndf!r s nnsul!fsc un curs df mnftrnn. *f fnfcnrf dnt, cnd fu tfrmnnnsfm df cntnt u pngnn, trfnunn fu s ntfpt, pn !fnfn cnnf!n, cnrf mn nturcfn pngnnn. Fu n!fnm, cf-n drfpt, u sunfrnf, cu cnrf m putfnm fncf unsfr!nt, dnr fu nu !runnm n nncn un cnz s-n tnrnnnzfz pf cfnlnln n u fulusfnm numnn n cnzul df strnct nfcfsntntf. Nn nm ntfptnt fu tucmnn df fnfcnrf dnt rndtunrf, pn cf !fnfn cnnf!n, chnnr dnc frn ct sf puntf df nntfrfsnnt# n pfntru mnnf frn tutul nntfrfsnnt. *nr fu tnnm n fnptul, c frn u mnlustn!nrf nfnt dnn cumun, s nm !unf s nnsul!fsc un nsfmfnfn curs nntfnsn! n rndnrf. Fstf cn ln tuntf cflflnltf. Nttn tnmp ct tf nfln nuntru n trfnunf s tf ustfnftn, sunt multf lucrurn snmntf cn fnnnd suprtunrf. *nc ns nn trfcut n nn rfzul!nt u prunlfm, ftn nucurus, c nn nnrunt-u, c nn putut s rfzntn, pfntru n fn mnn nugnt cu u f,pfrnfn. n cu smfrfnnn n mfrs ln ncfput nc funrtf grfu. M custn mult n!nngfrf df snnf, s m lns nfnt, mnrcnt n hrnnt df sururn strnnf, s nccfpt nfn uturnrfn mfn. Funrtf grfu n fust ntuncn, cnd fu cunstntnm ln unflf, c flf fcfnu ncfnstn numnn cu snl, c nstn npnrnnfn, cf-n drfpt, df muncn lur, c sf scrnfnu ns df mnnf. Ncfnstn u puntf unsfr!n df nltffl fnfcnrf. %crnn fstf un funrtf nntfns sfntnmfnt. Ncfnstn nu sf lns nscuns, n nu fstf nf!unf df multf, s pun snmn ncfst sfntnmfnt, n fr s fnn !nznunnr. )hnnr dnc ncfrcnrfn fstf nntfprnns, s u nscunzn n f,tfrnur, ncfnstn fufnz cfl mnn ndfsfn. Nu fstf frumus s snmn, c nlnn sf scrnfsc df tnnf. Ncfnstn fstf nn df umnlntur. *nr cfn mnn muln nu sunt df!nn df ncfst lucru. Fn sunt prnzunnfrn nn sfntnmfntflur lur. )nnf puntf, unrf, s snr pfstf umnrn sn( N fust grfu pfntru mnnf, n nsfmfnfn sntunnn s nu m gndfsc- tu pun, cf-n drfpt, s tf scrnftn df mnnf, n fu trfnunf s m prfdnu nfn uturnt nf, dnr duhu!nncfsc m nflu fu tutun mult pfstf tnnf. $uptf lungn trfnunn fu s n cu mnnf nsumn. *nr, nsfrnt,

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nznutnsfm fu tutun. N fust !ncturnn cfn mnn grfn, dnr cfn mnn nmpurtnnt. )nnf sf nnl pf snnf, sf !n smfrn. Nnsus n-n spus ncfnstn, pfntru n-n nlnntn pf cfn mncn n srncn. Nu - Fl nf-n pus cu ncfnstn unn dnntrf chfnlf sprf mprnn cfrurnlur n mn. Nngmfnrf duhu!nncfnsc fstf cfl mnn ru dumnn pf ncfnst cnlf. Fu nsumn nm trnt ncfnstn. Fstf u f,pfrnfn, pf cnrf fnfcnrf trfnunf s-u fnc udnt, df cnrf nu fstf nnmfnn scutnt. Ncfnstn fstf unn dnntrf cflf mnn nmpurtnntf f,pfrnfnf, dnr dnn pcntf n unn, pf cnrf dfsfurn u unn nnrn funrtf uur. Nngmfnrfn fstf rdncnnn n tut rul. %ntnn n czut, pfntru c fl n df!fnnt ngmfnt. Nngmfnrfn trngf dup snnf nn!ndnn. )nnf fstf ngmfnt, cnrf, dfcn, fstf df prfrfn, c s-nr nfln mnn sus dfct nlnn, ncfln gfnfrfnz nutumntnc sfntnmfntf df nn!ndnf fn df ncfnn, cnrf ucup un pust mnn nnlt. )ffn cf urmfnz fstf ntuncn frncn, frncn, df n fn dfscupfrnt. )nnf l nn!ndnnz pf nltul dnn cnuzn puznnfn snlf sucnnlf, mnnnnn, nnnnlur, ffmfnn lun, n fstf cfl mnn ndfsfn tfnm - chnnr dnc n nncuntnfnt -, cfllnlt nr putfn unsfr!n ncfst lucru n s-nr putfn nprn fn df ncfst lucru. n cflunlnlt n fstf tfnm, c fl puntf snmn uscnlnnnlf nm!ndnfn, n pfntru c fl nng df sfnm, c cf!n nmfnnntur l ntmpnn. Nstffl n fstf ntuncn fnfcrunn frnc fn df cfllnlt, n frncn fstf cfl mnn dnstrugtur sfntnmfnt, cnrf f,nst ntr-ndf!r. Nn cum urn l puntf dnstrugf pf cfllnlt, tut nn tf dnstrugf frncn pf tnnf nsun. &fntru multf nuln fstf frncn cnuzn. n nnfnrctul mnucnrdnc n cnncfrul n nu rdcnnn cfl mnn ndfsfn n frnc. Ncfnstn sf nfl ns ndfsfn nn df ndnc nrdcnnnt n fstf df n nn df .unnnunt/, c fn nu mnn fstf rfcunuscut cn fnnnd nstffl. "untf cflflnltf, n strfsul, ncrcrn nlf mfdnulun nmnnnnt n nn mnn dfpnrtf, sunt numnn fncturn ndnnunnln. Flf mrfsc rnscul, nu sunt ns nncnudnt dfclnnnturul. *f cf sunt mnnngfrnn lu!nn nn df dfs df nnfnrctul df nnnm( %ngur, fn lucrfnz mult, sunt tut tnmpul n hfctnc, sf nfl sun prfsnunf. *nr n nstffl df sntunnn sunt n muln nlnn. Numnn c - lur lf fstf frnc, s nu fnf prfn slnnn pfntru prfsnunfn f,frcntnt, s fufzf n s fnf dnn nfnr dnn slu n. *f cf nu mnn nlfs dfntntnn cutn cfn mnn mnrf df nnfnrcturn df nnnm n nprunpf cfn mnn mnc mfdnf n nnnlur df !nn( Nncn fn nu lucr mnn mult dfct nlnn. %ngur, fn sf nfl sun mpu!rnrfn psnhnc, s fnf nf!unn s-n fnc fnfcrunn trfnnn cum trfnunf, dnr ncfnstn lf mfrgf n multur nlturn tut nn. Nu, fn lucrfnz funrtf nprunpf df pncnfnt - n ncfstunn n fstf tfnm! n ncfnst frnc sf trnnsmntf nsuprn lur, dfunrfcf cfn mnn punnn tnu, cum tf pun prutf n ffncnfnt fn df ncfst lucru. *f cf sf mnuln!fsc nn df muln df cnncfr( Fn sf tfm! Frnc fn df rnzf, frnc fn df sunstnnf nucn!f, frnc fn df ntrnff, fn df n fn snngur, frnc fn df cfnlnln, frnc fn df snnf nsun, frnc fn df tuntf. Fn sf tfm df n fncf cnncfr, n ncfnstn fstf cfn mnn sngur mftud, s tf mnuln!ftn ntr-ndf!r df ncfnst nunl. *f cf ! ngrn urnn nfrncunn df znun df mnnf. Nu mnn n!fn !un nndnr nncn u ncrfdfrf( 'ntnn-! ln psrn, ln nnnmnlf, ln nntur! *nc gnzfln nr fn un um, fn n-nr putfn cu sngurnn s-n scnpf lfulun. Frncn n-nr pnrnlnzn pncnunrflf. *nc pnsrfn nr fn un um, fl nr trfnun s munr df funmf. *f nttn grn , cu cf puntf fl mnnf s sf hrnfnsc, n-nr putfn fl nstzn s znunrf nfnr, pfntru n prnndf nnsfctf. Frncn n d nrnpn!, sun un pru!frn cunuscut. Ncfnstn nu fstf frnc, cn cuntrnrnul ncfstfnn- !unnn df n suprn!nfun. Frncn mpnfdncn numnn, fn nncnudnt nu nnrnpfnz. n frncn dfclnnfnz ntuncn tuntf cflflnltf sfntnmfntf nfgntn!f. *nc fu m nspnmnt df cnnf!n, df!nn fu cu tnmpul furnus nsuprn lun, ncfp s-l ursc. n cffn cf frnc mn prncnnunftf mnf, ncfnstn n-u fnc lun cu urn mfn. n cfllnlt lu!ftf nnpun! Fl sf npr. Fl nu tnf tutun, c fl n ncfput df n prnmul ntnc cu frncn lun, c urn n fust numnn rfncnn nsuprn ncfstun lucru. Fl sf snmtf n drfpt. n dnc cnnf!n tf lu!ftf pf unrnzul drfpt, d-n n cfl stng sprf lu!nrf. $n ncfnstn sf rfffr ncfnst prupuznnf. Nu s tf lnn ntut pn ln munrtf, cum muln nrunnzfnz, schnmnul duhu!nncfsc df lu!nturn trfnunf s-l sfrftn. % nu rspunzn ln ur cu ur, cn s-u prfnfn, s-u trnnsfurmn n s-u trmnn nnpun cn drngustf. Ntuncn pun tu lnnntnt s nn n cfllnlt unrnz. Nu mnn !nnf nnmnc nnpun. Nunftf-n dumnnnn tn! - nu dnn cnuzn c tu trfnunf s tf ucn nnnn unrnn! "u nncn nu trfnunf s-n nunftn n cnlntntfn lur df dumnnn, cn n cnlntntfn lur cn unmfnn, cnrf sunt tut nn cupnnn lun *umnfzfu cn tnnf, tut nn df prfnun. Nncftfnz df n-n ur, ncfpf s-n nunftn, n urn lur sf !n f!npurn n nnmnc. *nc fn nu mnn fstf nnt, sf mnstunf fn pf snnf nsun cn un fuc, cnrf nu mnn prnmftf hrnn. n, dfudnt, fn nu mnn sunt dumnnnn tn. Grffnln fstf ncffn, c nun nf gndnm n prfn scurtf durntf df tnmp. *nc fu ncftfz nstzn, s-l mnn ursc pf !fcnnul mfu, pf cnrf l-nm cunsndfrnt nnn df-n rndul cn fnnnd dumnnul mfu, ntuncn fl ntr-ndf!r cu grfu m !n mnrnn mnnf. *nr puntf put fu n ctf!n lunn, prunnnnl chnnr n cn!n nnn s dnnlughfz cu fl nnrn nurmnl. &untf c sf dfz!ult dup nnn df znlf chnnr u mnc prnftfnnf dnn ncfnstn. Numnn c - s prunfzn u sptmn df drngustf, n dnc nu rfuftf ntuncn, n-l lnn pf .ntrnul prust/ nnrn nnlt - s !nd fl tutun snngur, undf n ungf fl fr gfnfruzntntfn mfn - ncfnstn nu funcnunfnz! *rngustfn ndf!rnt nu punf cundnnn, nncn ultnmntf. Fn fstf pur n snmplu prfzfnt. Nntutdfnunn! n nsturnn fstf plnn df f,fmplf df ncfst gfn. Mnn df crn s-nr putfn scrnf dfsprf ncfst sunnfct. Ghnndn fstf ntr-ndf!r f,fmplul cfl mnn cunuscut n cfl mnn nmpuntur. Fr nncn u !nulfn, cu nfsfrnt drngustf n rndnrf n-n cundus fl pupurul su n nfnrn nsuprnrnn. Nfgnnnstnn n mfrs pf cfnlnlt cnlf. Ncum fstf un sffrt dnn pupulnnf munrt snu f,nlnt. n rfstul( Fnfcnrf fstf nsfmnnt df nfnurucnrf, df-nnnn gsftn u fnmnlnf fr munrtf, rnnrf, nunl, srncnf, funmftf! % nu lupn, nu nsfnmn- s rfnunn, s nu tf npfrn. Ghnndn n nrtnt ncfnstn. % n nunftn pf !rmnnn tn nu nsfnmn- s tf lnn sun ugnt fr nprnrf! n nrmflf nunnrnn n ut, dnr flf nu rnfsc! Ncfnstn fstf dnffrfnn. %mfrfnnn fstf u cundnnf pfntru ncfst lucru n cfrtntudnnfn nnsulut, c nnmfnn nu-mn puntf lun nnmnc, pfntru c duhul mfu fstf dunr nftrfctur n nn!ulnfrnnnl. n tuntf cflflnltf sunt pf dfplnn nfnmpurtnntf.

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3 Nrugnnn frn ncfputul. Nrugnnn nu sf puntf f,frcntn mult !rfmf! Multf zncnlf cunnn cu mult mnn mult ndf!r, dfct putfm nun s crfdfm. )u tnmpul nm n!nt fu, s rmn n ntuncn umnl, cnnd frn grfu, ntuncn cnd frn !urnn df .umnlnnnf/ ndf!rntf. n fu sunt tutun nucuruns dnn ncfst mutn!, pfntru c nm putut fu s trfc prnn ncfnst cunl. Mn s-nu dfschns pfrspfctn!f nun spnrntunlf, ln cnrf n mud nurmnl nncn nu sf !nsfnz. 'ltnmn unr m-n ntrfnnt Mnchnfl"f-nn gndnt tu !rfudnt, cum nm putut nun s dnscutm( Nprunpf ntutdfnunn nn putut s mn snmn prfzfnn, ctfudnt nn putut s m !fzn snu n ddfnn sfnmn df fnptul c sunt nprunpf. "u nn fust dfschns n prn!nnn mfn, n fu nm putut dfsfurn s-n trnnsnmt un gnd. *nr ntuncn, cnd frnn ntr-ndf!r cu mnnf( &un s-n nmnntftn mprf urrnlf( *n, ln ncfst fnpt fu nncn nu m-nm gndnt, fu ntutdfnunn m-nm trfznt n nrnflf tntlun mfu! *nr - cf n!fn fl df-n fncf cu tuntf ncfstfn( Fl n-n dnt ncfnst pusnnnlntntf. *rngustfn sn pfntru tnnf, fn n fust funrtf putfrnnc. Fn n-n pfrmns u stnrf df !nnrnnf, n cnrf n-n fust pusnnnl, s prsftn curpul tu n s n ungn ln nn!flul nustru. Fr cu!nt fu l-nm prn!nt. %pnrntul fstf ntr-ndf!r un prnnzunnfr nl curpulun, dnr cnd dunrmf ncfstn, puntf spnrntul s-l prsfnsc n puntf nntrn n nn znsn sffr nstrnl. %ffrn nstrnl fstf sffrn spnrntunl, cnrf n fstf curpulun fnznc cfl mnn nprupnnt, ndnc prnn nltf cu!nntf, cfl mnn us nn!fl spnrntunl. *uhul nu dunrmf nncnudnt. $un nu-n trfnunf u pnuz df udnhn cn n curpulun. Nunptf fstf n mnn nctn!, ntuncn cnd puntf s fug dnn strmtunrfn curpulun. Nn sunt n fnfcnrf nunptf muln unmfnn .pf drum/. *unr c dnn mutn!f prfcnsf fstf cunutnnn nchns, n df rfgul nu mnn f,nst nmnntnrn dnmnnfnn. +nsflf nr putfn f,plncn multf, dnc umfnnrfn nu nr fn nn df unrn. Multf !nsf nu sunt hnlucnnnnn n nu pru!nn dnn suncuntnfnt. %unt df fnpt mnn mult nntf trnrn, cnrf sunt ndusf df spnrnt dnn sffrn nstrnl, n cnrf - df multf urn dunr dfzurdunntf n frngmfntntf - n gsfsc drumul n cuntnfntul nustru. Muln nu !nsnt rudf cnrf nu dfcfdnt snu cunutnnnf, ln cnrf fn nncn nu s-nu mnn gndnt! %nu muln nu prnmnt n !ns drumurn dfsfnntf, dup cnrf fn nu cutnt mult !rfmf, snu rfzul!rn pfntru prunlfmf, ln cnrf fn lucrnu! Funrtf multf nn!fnnn sf fnc n .!ns/. *fcn cf rul s nnn ntuncn suncuntnfntul( %nu cn nu !nsnt df n df ntmplrn, cnrf s-nu ndf!frnt n scurt tnmp( )f rul s nnn ntuncn tutun suncuntnfntul( 0n sffrn nstrnl sf tfrg nnrnfrflf ntrf prfzfnt, !nntur snu trfcut. +un nu ! putfn nmngnnn, dfunrfcf tnmpul fstf un fnctur df nftrfcut pf pmnt, n nnmfnn nu-n puntf fncf fn. *nr ncfst lucru fstf !nlnnnl dunr pfntru mntfrnf. &fntru duh nu f,nst tnmp n tfrmfnul !ustru. ' sfcund pf pmnt puntf nsfmnn pfntru un duh u !fnncnf, n u mnf df nnn pmntftn put trfcf pfntru fl ntr-u clnp. *unr mntfrnn dfpnndf df tnmp. )hnnr n !nnturul nu fstf u cunncndfn ntt df mnrf, nn cum muln crfd. %f ntmpl tutul dup nnumntf lfgn n sf puntf sucutn nprunpf f,nct dnn trfcut. Nu cu crnlf df tnrut snu prnn cntnrfn mnnnn, cu tuntf c nnumntf nndncnn sf put gsn. )cn spnrntul f!ndfnfnz curpul, nn sfmnflf spnrntunlf cnrf sunt dfsfurn ffncnfntf pfntru !nntur, sf gsfsc pf curp. 0n pnrtf puntf fncf multf nfnrmnnn !nlnnnlf nstrulugnn. Nu nstrulugnn pfntru ntrfngn lumf. Fn fstf !nlnnnl cfl mult pfntru rndurnlf df nrf nlf unur nlustrntf. Nu, nstrulugnn cusmnc, cnrf puntf nflfgf nsfmnrnlf spnrntunlf nlf stflflur! %tflflf nu u mnrf nnflufn nsuprn !unstr. Numnn c nncn nu fstf nn cn pfstf tut- cf nu puntf !fdfn snu trn umul, nu crfdf. ) lunn nrf u nnflufn, ncfst lucru fstf df nfcuntfstnt. Ncfst lucru l puntf !fdfn fnfcnrf ln !nlurnlf mrnn. )hnnr n fnptul c f,nst muln dfpfndfnn df lun, fstf df nfcuntfstnt. *fcn, dnc u mnc lun rfuftf, s pruduc nstffl df schnmnrn, s nu nnn unrf nncn un fffct stflflf nfnmngnnnt df mnrn nlf unn!frsulun nsuprn pmntulun( Nnnfnflfs, lunn fstf mnn nprunpf# dnr stflflf nu nn u mrnmf mnrf, c n ln u dnstnn mnrf nu tutun nnflufn. )hnnr ncum nu ncfput s gndfnsc nltffl nstrulugnn !utrn. Nntrf tnmp sunt cunuscutf cnncn sutf df stflf nn znsf Funsnrf, dnn cnrf cfl mnn mnc, dup spusflf unmfnnlur df tnnn df ln NN%N, fstf mnn mnrf dfct cflf u sut df mnlnnrdf df stflf dnn snstfmul !ustru sulnr! &un tu s-n nchnpun nn cf!n( *nr ncfstfn sunt nc pnftrf mncn n unn!frsul nfmrgnnnt. )flf mnn mnrn stflf nu u mrnmf df mnn multf trnlnunnf df nnn lumnn! %-n nchnpun nn cf!n, fstf chnnr n pfntru nun funrtf grfu. n ncfstfn s nu nnn !rfu nnflufn, dnc mncn lun fstf n stnrf, s rndncf cu cn!n mftrn mnrfn urnn( $n mn urntntfn lumnn fstf grfnt ncfputul gndnrnn. Nu fstf nn, c m ntfnpt un !nntur ffrncnt, dunr c sunt dnn grffnl nscut n zudnn nnn snu cfnlnlt. Fstf nprunpf nn!frs. Nnmfnn nu sf nntf dnn grffnl. "untf nntfrnlf sunt cnlculntf cu f,nctntntf. n ntuncn ! nntfn sun u nnumnt cunstflnnf df stflf, dfunrfcf nnflufnn lur uffr f,nct ncfn nmprf urnrf df !nn, cnrf fstf nfcfsnr pfntru crftfrfn !unstr n cnrf ! puntf n utn. *nc cnnf!n nrf cununtfn ncfstfn n fstf n stnrf, s cntfnsc cu .ndf!rnt/ stflflf, puntf nflfgf multf mnn nnnf. *fcn - pfntru nun fstf cu mult mnn uur. )cn tutul cf n fust, n tutul, cf rfnfsf, fstf scrns n crnnlf spnrntunlf. )hnnr n fnptflf n nnflufnflf nlf cflun mnn ndfprtnt trfcut, dfsprf cnrf df f,fmplu nu put dn nncn u nnfurmnnf stflflf. "utun rmnf pfntru prfzncfrfn !nnturulun unflf lucrurn cnrf nu put fn tnutf, dnn cnuzn c ncfstfn nu df-n fncf cu pruprnn !unn lnnfr n fnfcrunn. Ncfstf crn spnrntunlf - n rfnlntntf nu sunt nntf crn, cn dunr furmf df fnfrgnf, cnrf put fn cntntf df cfl cnrf durftf - plutfsc prnn tuntf sffrflf spnrntunlf. *nr dunr n cfn mnn nnlt sffr fstf cumplft nnfurmnnn. 0n sffrn nstrnl f,nst dunr frngmfntf. )unutnnf n ndf!rurn nnltf n spnrntunlf nu sf put gsn nculu. 0n ncfn sffr sf

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put ntlnn df f,fmplu muln dfcfdnn, cnrf nu nu rfunt s urcf ntr-u sffr mnn nnlt. *urnnflf n pntnmnlf lur, df cnrf nu scnp nncn nculu, gndnrfn lur mntfrnnl n crfdnnn lur slnn n mpnfdnc. %ffrn nstrnl fstf nc lucul df unc n multur spnrntf nfcurntf n rflf, n chnnr n mn urntntfn unmfnnlur sf mnc nunptf prnn ncfn sffr. ) df multf urn nu nfsf nnmnc nntflngfnt dnn tuntf ncfstfn, tf pun gndn tu cu sngurnn. *nr multf cumnrf n nu nncn rdcnnnlf, ccn dfsfurn sf ntmpl lucrurn grunznncf n ncfnst sffr spnrntunl cfn mnn uns. n ncfstf lucrurn n crnufsc drumul n cuntnfnt sun furm df cumnrf. 0n ncfnst sffr sf unt mn urntntfn dnn !zturnn !utrn. Fn sfnmn cu nntf unmfnn cnrf nu !d dfluc nnnf, cnrf nu punrt uchflnrn n ncfnrc, s dfscrnf un pfnsn ntnns. &umnn n tufnurnlf dnn fn lf mnn put !fdfn, puntf c n cunturul munnnlur. *nr nncnudnt mnnunntflf pdurn n munnn frumun, flurnlf n nnnmflflf n fundnl. Fn unsfr! dunr frnturn n crfd c nu !zut tutul. Fn nccfpt tutul, fr s fnf n stnrf, s rfcununsc cf fstf ndf!r snu mnncnun. Fn crfd c tutul fstf ndf!rnt, dnn cffn cf !d. Nndncnn pf plnn mntfrnnl snu pfrsunnl sf put gsn ctf!n. n ctf!n fnptf cf sf !ur ntmpln. Muln !zturn nu succfs, dnr rnrfurn ntuncn, cnd fstf !urnn df lucrurn spnrntunlf. *unr frnturn sf put ndugn. &f 7rnstus snu pf ngfrnn %n nu n !n gsn nnmfnn nncn . Nprunpf n tuntf fdnnflf spnrntunlf sf ntmpl n ncfnst sffr. *uhurn unsf, n pnrtf n spnrntf rflf snu nn znsf duhurn mnncnnunsf, cnrf sf nucur rfgftf, ntuncn cnd cnnf!n n crfdf, sf dnu dfsfurn cn fnnnd spnrntf nnltf, snu chnnr ngfrn mrfn. Nnnfnflfs, sf mnn gsfsc n ctf!n ndf!rurn, ccn u nnumnt cunutnn pusfd n fn, n fn put, dnc fstf !urnn df cfn dfcfdnn, s spun lucrurn unmntunrf dnn trfcut. *unr - sunrflf nu l-nu !zut fn. Fn trfnunf s sf mulumfnsc cu ntunfrncul snu cu dunr punn lumnn. n prnn ncfnstn df!nnf !zul un uc df rulft. &f lng ncfnstn fstf ncfst ffl df spnrntnsm pfrnculus. )fn mnn muln lucrfnz fr scut spnrntunl. *nr un mfdnu trfnunf s sf dfschnd cu tutul, pfntru n stnnnln un cuntncut cu sffrn spnrntunl, fl sf d pur n snmplu pf mnn putfrnn ntunfcntf. )n nu pltnt ncfst lucru cu .!nnn/. *uhul lur s-n ntunfcnt, n fn nu !fgftnt n cflf mnn srncf cundnnn, df multf urn n cmnnf psnhntrncf. *nr nu dunr n sumn snu cn mfdnu sf puntf n ungf ln sffrflf spnrntunlf. )fl mnn nun drum fstf mfdntnnn. 0n mfdntnnf sf put nchndf snmurnlf n fnn lumnn. Mfdntnnn ndnc sf nsfnmn n f,tfrnur cu sumnul, dnr cuntnnnn nu fstf nchns. Mfdntnnn nu fstf pur n snmplu u fdfrf, nn cum sf spunf dfsfurn. Mfdntnnn nu fstf nnmnc pnsn!, cn un lucru nctn!, u pnrf nctn! sprf *umnfzfu, cnrf fstf dunr ntuncn pusnnnl, dnc snmurnlf f,tfrnunrf sf rftrng dnn lumfn f,tfrnunr. )nd urfchfn f,tfrnunr nu mnn nudf nnmnc, ntuncn sf puntf dfz!ultn urfchfn nntfrnunr, tut nn sf puntf ntmpln cu uchnul tu nntfrnur n cu snmul tu pfntru !nnrnnnlf lumnn spnrntunlf. "u tf ntrfnn df n df ln ncfput, df cf n f,plnc fu tuntf ncfstfn. Nnt, mfdntnnn fstf drumul tu. "u nn n uns df n funrtf dfpnrtf. "u n-nn n!nns sfntnmfntflf, nn n!nt rndnrfn, drngustfn n umnlnnn. "u n-nn tfrmnnnt cu nnnf tnmpul df n!nrf, ncum sf tfrmnn n nnnn tn df ucfnncnf. Fu !rfnu s tf n! ncum, cum pun s n ungn prnn mfdntnnf ln sffrflf spnrntunlf n cum pun lucrn spnrntunl. )cn n clnpn df fn nu ftn nc n stnrf, s mfrgn snngur drumul pn ln mnnf. %-n ndrfpn gndurnlf sprf *umnfzfu n sprf mnnf, ncfst lucru ftn unnnunt s-l fncn. *nr cffn cf tu nc nu tnn, su cf nu nn !rut s crfzn cu ndf!rnt- tutul, cf n nmngnnfzn, fstf ndf!rnt! )u ct mnn mult tf gndftn, cu ct mnn mult f,frsfzn, cu ct mnn nntfsn! n nmngnnfzn, cu ntt mnn ndf!rnt n mnn ffncnfnt fstf ncfst lucru. Fstf un cnpntul mnrf. Fu !rfnu s ncfrc, s-n f,plnc nf cf fstf cfl mnn nmpurtnnt. 4 $n ncfput frn )u!ntul n )u!ntul frn ln *umnfzfu n *umnfzfu frn )u!ntul. Ncfstn frn ntru ncfput ln *umnfzfu. "untf prnn Fl s-nu fcut# n fr Fl nnmnc nu s-n fcut dnn cf s-n fcut. Nntru Fl frn !nn n !nnn frn lumnnn unmfnnlur. 'nul dnntrf cfn mnn mnrn mnstncn, Nunn F!nnghflnstul, ncfpf nstffl F!nnghflnn sn. n nsfmnrn sf gsfsc ln cflf mnn multf rflngnn n scrnpturnlf lur sfnntf. "rducturnn !utrn nn Nnnlfn nu sf put ns ntr-ndf!r mulumn cu cffn, cf fn cntfsc. Nununfn )u!nt - lugus, cum sf numftf fn n grfnc - n fust schnmnnt n sfns. Ncfnstn nr fn un snnunnm pfntru 7rnstus! )n du!nd pfntru ncfst lucru fstf prupuznnn, cnrf st scrns ctf!n rndurn mnn us- n )u!ntul s-n fcut trup n s-n sllunt ntrf nun. Nnnfnflfs c nncn fstf !urnn dfsprf 7rnstus, dnr dnn ncfnst cnuz 7rnstus nu fstf )u!ntul. "rfnunf numnn s sf mfnrg nnpun ln tf,tul grfcfsc dnn ncfputurn. Nunn n-n scrns dunr F!nnghflnn sn n Grfcnn pfntru flf!nn sn grfcn, n cnnf nr !fnn ntr-ndf!r pf ndffn, c ntuncn cnd fl scrnf un tf,t df n!tur, s fulusfnsc prnntrf, cn !nrnnnf pfntru 7rnstus, nununfn )u!ntul( Ncfnstn tutun n-u puntf nnmfnn prfsupunf n sfrnus! Nu! Grfcfscul lugus, pf cnrf l fulusftf Nunn nncn, nrf, cf-n drfpt, n sfmnnfncnnn df )u!ntul, nntfrprftnrfn lun df nnz fstf ns putfrfn gndurnlur! Numnn c grfcnn nu fust n ncfnst prn!nn cf!n mnn dfpnrtf dfct umul mudfrn, culturnznt. Fn tnnu c gndurnlf n cu!nntflf npnrnn strns lnulnlt. )u!ntul fstf ntr-ndf!r numnn fncfrfn nuznt n gndulun. 0n cffn cf prn!ftf rfnlntntfn lun, nu sf schnmn nnsulut nnmnc! Nunn !rfn dfcn s spun- putfrfn gndurnlur fstf tutul! Fn sf nfl ln ncfput, n fr fn n-nr fn nnmnc! "untf lf-n fcut *umnfzfu numnn prnn putfrfn %n n gndurnlur! n n Nnsus 7rnstus n df!fnnt !nznnnl ncfnst putfrf pfntru nun- n )u!ntul s-n fcut trup. Ncfnstn nu nsfnmn ns nnmnc nltcf!n, dfct c nun tun, tunt fpturn lun *umnfzfu, suntfm numnn gndurnlf %nlf. Fl nf-n gndnt numnn pf nun, n cu tuntf nstfn suntfm nun tutun rfnlntntf. Ncfnstn fstf ntrndf!r n n!turn n nprunpf tuntf rflngnnlf, n n nnsfrncnn crftnnf. n ncfpnd df nncn, nncn nu fstf funrtf

4??

grfu, s gsftn cnlfn cfn curfct! Nntrf gndurnlf lun *umnfzfu n gndurnlf unun ngfr snu um nu f,nst nncn u dnffrfn sfmnnfncntn!! Numnn ncffn, c gndurnlf lun *umnfzfu sunt nfmrgnnnt df mult mnn putfrnncf dfct cflf nlf mflf snu nlf tnlf. &rnn ncfnstn put flf ntr-ndf!r s n nfptunnsc cu nn df mult mnn mult, .s mplnnfnsc/. n, n cuntrnrnul ncfstun fnpt, !n putfn n un um slnn cu gndurnlf snlf slnnf s nfptunnsc numnn punn. Ncfnstn nsfnmn ns n fnptul c, cu ct mnn mult n nculfzn duhul tu, cu ct mnn tnrf df!nnf duhul tu, cu ntt mnn mult !fn putfn tu nfptun. n ntuncn n!fm df n cf nf-nm prupus! Nu rmnf dfcn nnmnc nltcf!n df fcut, dfct s nntrfnfzn duhul n s-l ntrftn. Ndf!rntf schnmnrn, !nlurn cnrf rmn put fn numnn prnn duh crfntf. "unt mntfrnn fstf trfctunrf, ncfst fnpt n fstf tutun fnfcrunn zn df zn ndus n fnn uchnlur! Nu-n !n fn nf prfn grfu, pfntru c tu ftn funrtf nnnf prfgtnt! &rfnn ln tnnf fnfrgnf n rugcnunf, lns-u pf ncfnstn s curg n gndurnlf tnlf n gndftf-tf ntuncn nntfnsn! ln cffn, cf trfnunf s df!nn rfnlntntf. *nc tu !rfn s n ungn ln mnnf, ntuncn nmngnnfnz-n nntfnsn! pfrsunnn mfn n ncfnst mprf urnmf, nn df lnmpfdf, pn cf !n df!fnn ncfnstn rfnlntntf. n ntuncn ftn tu nncn! Nu cu trupul tu nnnfnflfs. *f ncfln nu fstf nnmfnn nntfrfsnt. "u, ncfstn fstf duhul tu! Fu nm spus udnt- Nun mnn n!fm nf!unf df tnnf. "u nu n-nn putut f,plncn pn ncum ncfst lucru. tnn tu ncum ncfnstn( Ncun tf !un n!n n nstn. Nnsus 7rnstus s tf rfnn n mnlustn!nrfn $un, f nnnf nstn n f,frsfnz hnrnnc n !nnu ncun nnrn. Nstn n fust nprunpf prfn mult dnntr-u dnt. &f mnnf m durfn cnpul. Fu nm n!ut nf!unf df ctf!n znlf, pnn cf nm prflucrnt n nm nflfs tutul. &n dn, dfstul tnmp nm n!ut fu ntr-ndf!r. n n mfrs mnn nnnf, dfct m-nm gndnt fu. Fu fusfsfm dunr df n df mult tnmp unnnunt .s dfcunfctfz/. *nc fu nu !runnm, pur n snmplu nu ngnm nnmnc df sfnm dfsprf cffn, cf sf ntmpln n urul mfu. &fntru mfdnul ncun urtur nl mfu sf nrtn sntunnn nn, df pnrc n durmn, n fl m lsn n pncf. Nncn nu sf mnrn df ncffn nnmfnn, c fu .durmfnm/ dnntr-u dnt u umtntf df zn, frnu dunr numnn funrtf punnn, cnrf sf purtnu cu mnnf nurmnl. Fu !rfnu s spun cu ncfst lucru, c numnn punnn n rflnnn cu mnnf rfncnunnu ntr-un mud tut nn df nnturnl, cn n cum nr n!fn un um sntus n fnn lur. )fn mnn muln sf gndfsc ntutdfnunn, dfunrfcf nu fn un hnndncnpnt n fnn lur, c nr trfnun s fnf pfstf msur df ntfnn, s sf gndfnsc ln tuntf funrtf f,nct, dnn cffn cf fn fnc n spun. *nr ncfnstn nu fstf un lucru nnturnl, n un hnndncnpt !rfn s fnf trntnt tut nn df nurmnl, cn n fnfcnrf nltul. Fl unsfr! fnfcnrf nfsngurnn, fnfcnrf fzntnrf, fnfcnrf nchndfrf n uchnlur n rndncrf dnn umfrn. Fstf df nsfmfnfn u frunrf s crfzn, c un surdu-mut n-nr rfmnrcn nnmnc, numnn pfntru c fl nu puntf nuzn nnmnc. %nu un hnndncnpnt mnntnl, pfntru c fl dunr nu puntf gndn lnmpfdf. Ncfnstn puntf fn, dnr s snmt put tun - n nnumf cfl mnn ndfsfn mult mnn nnnf dfct unul sntus! n fl unsfr! cu ndf!rnt ntr-ndf!r, dnc sf !urnftf nurmnl dfsprf fl snu dnsprfuntur snu cumptnmntur. n fncf nnnf, s fnn trntnt nurmnl. Nndnr, n urncf cnz nu sf cunturnn nnmfnn df nstn. Nstffl putfnm fu s mfdntfz urf ntrfgn. Nncn nu mn-n fust grfu, s m cuncfntrfz un tnmp punn mnn ndflungnt, cu ncfst lucru nm fust fu df n ntr-ndf!r ntutdfnunn unnnunt. Fu mn-nm ndrfptnt gndurnlf nsuprn lun Mnchnfl, ncfrcnm s mn-l nchnpun nntfnsn!. *nc putfnm pn ncum s snmt df n ndfsfn n .stnrfn nurmnl/ prfzfnn lun, ntuncn fu cptnm cu fnfcnrf mfdntnnf mnn nprufundnt un cuntnct mnn strns cu fl. Fu putfnm snmn, cum fl n punfn mnn sn pf nrnul mfu, putfnm s-l nud, ctfudnt df n s n !urnfsc cu fl. Fl m ncurn n tut tnmpul nnrn n m ntrfn. Fl frn tutdfnunn df fn, cnd n!fnm nf!unf df fl. Nntr-ndf!r, n durnt mult tnmp, n prugrfsflf mflf frnu mncn, ns flf frnu cunstnntf. n pfntru n f,frsn n rndnrf, n!usfsfm fu dunr df n dfstul tnmp. Nntr-u zn mn-n spus Mnchnfl- Gndftf-tf tutun u dnt ln mnmn tn, dnr rung-tf mnn ntn. Mnmn m !nzntn fnfcnrf n trfnn sptmn, pfntru c drumul ncuncf durn funrtf mult, n dfunrfcf mnmn nu n!fn mnnn, frn n funrtf cumplncnt cu trfnul n nutunuzul n ultnmn pnrtf pf us. Frn ntutdfnunn frumus, cnd fn frn nncn. Fu u nunfnm, n fn m nccfptnsf ntrf tnmp. Nu frn ntr-ndf!r nc u drngustf ndf!rnt, dnr frn prnftfnnf. 0n ultnmul sfrnt df sptmn n fust fn nncn, n !fnnt cn ntutdfnunn n tnmpul dup-nmnfznn, n mncnt cu mnnf, mn-n cntnt cf!n, mn-n pu!fstnt dfsprf frnnn mfn, pn cf n plfcnt ntuncn sfnrn nnrn ncns. Fu m gndfnm df fnpt ndfsfn ln mnmn, dnr nncnudnt nu mn-n !fnnt n gnd, s u nnclud n pf fn n mfdntnnf. Fu nncn nu tnnm nn df lmurnt, df cf trfnunf s m rug nnnntf df nstn. *nr m-nm unnnunt cu fnptul df n urmn nndncnnnlf lun Mnchnfl n nu mn s-n ntmplnt nncnudnt s nu rfufsc. Nstffl nm fcut n df ncfnst dnt, cffn cf fl m sftunsf. Frn !nnfrn dup-nmnnz. Fu m-nm rugnt ndflung, n-nm mulumnt lun *umnfzfu pfntru drngustfn n n uturul, pf cnrf lf prnmfnm mfrfu n m-nm cufundnt ncun n mfdntnnf ndnc. Fu mn-u nchnpunnm ntfnsn! pf mnmn. +nnfrn ln nmnnz, ntuncn !fnfn fn tutdfnunn df!rfmf ncns df ln lucru, mn-n pu!fstnt fn. n ntuncn nm n !zut-u df n. *n, fu nu !nsnm, fu u !fdfnm ntr-ndf!r. Fn dfschnsf punrtn grdnnnn, mfrsfsf n us pf cnlfn scurt pnftrunt n dfschnsf punrtn cnsfn. Fu m ducfnm nlturn nprunpf df fn n m-nm nfznt lng fn pf cnnnpfnun !fchf. Fn trfnunf s fn fust funrtf unusnt, n urncf cnz ndurmnsf fn ncun. Fu nm ncfput s .!urnfsc/ cu fn, ntuncn s-n ntmplnt cf!n cnudnt. 'n .cf!n/ cn un nur df cfn s-n dfsprnt df trupul fn n plutfn n fnn mfn n ncpfrf, prnntr-u sfunr funrtf sunnrf n nrgnntnf lfgnt df trupul fn. Ncfl .cf!n/ n!fn npru,nmntn! nfnnrfn curpulun fn, punn mnn mnrf puntf n nn df gnngn n trnnspnrfnt cn un !l df mtnsf. 'n tnmp scurt nm mnn rmns fu ln fn n putfnm s dnnlughfz cu duhul fn. Ntuncn nm fust fu dnntr-u dnt nnrn n trupul mfu, trfnunn nnrn s m sunurdunfz lnmntrnn lun. *nr fu frnm ffrncnt. &fntru prnmn dnt nm putut s m dfspnrt cuntnfnt df trupul mfu# cf-n drfpt, numnn pfntru un tnmp scurt, dnr nstn nu fcfn nnmnc. Fu tnnm, c nznutnsfm ncfputul. *f n n znun urmtunrf m-n !nzntnt mnmn. Fn n fcusf nn df multf grn n pfntru mnnf. Fn !nsnsf dfsprf mnnf-

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"u tf-nn dus cu mnnf ln plnmnnrf. Nun nm dnscutnt cn duu prnftfnf dfsprf mud n hnnnf n nltf lucrurn nfnmpurtnntf. Nun nf-nm dus n sus pf un drum nnrupt, pnftrus prnntr-u pdurncf mnc dnn pumn cnudnn. Nsfmfnfn pumn fu nu mnn !zusfm nncnudnt. Fn frnu plnnn df strugurn fructf mncn, df un ruu dfschns, cnrf nrtnu cn scuruflf. Fructflf frnu funrtf frumunsf n unnfurmf, n pf fnfcnrf dnntrf flf, cu tuntf c frnu nn df mncn, frn scrns numflf tu n lntfrf nurnn- Nnrnnrn. 2nmurnlf df us frnu prnn grfutntfn lur nduntf ndnc sprf pmnt, nn nct nun putfnm s n ungfm uur ln flf. $n u mlntnn mnc nm pupusnt nun ntuncn n nm mncnt dnn fructflf tnlf. Flf frnu dulcn ln gust n nu n!fnu nncn u pnntr n nncn smnurf. )nd nn !fnnt tu, nu mn-n mfrs funrtf nnnf. Fu frnm unusnt n n punn nulnn! n m ustfnfnm, s nn pnsul cu tnnf. *f-nnnn tfrmnnnsfm fu ns df mncnt dnn fructf, c nm snmnt, cum u mnrf putfrf sf scurgfn n mnnf. Fu nm df!fnnt dnntr-u dnt funrtf uunr, nprunpf nnpundfrnnnl. *nntr-u dnt s-n npustnt un run mnrf df cuufnnf nfgrf nsuprn nunstr n nsuprn pdurncfn, pfntru n mncn fructflf tnlf. Fu nm df!fnnt funrtf nspmntnt, dnr tu tf-nn rugnt pur n snmplu. n ncfnst rugcnunf s-n pus pfstf nun prutfctunrf cn un cluput. Ntuncn nu !fnnt df ln cfr dun !ulturn mrfn, n cu znnfrfturn urtf nu fugnt cuufnnflf df fn. 'nul dnntrf !ulturn n znurnt dnrfct nsprf tnnf, tf-n cuprnns nlnd cu ghfnrflf snlf n tf-n lunt cu fl. "u nn zmnnt ntr-ndf!r n mn-nn fcut nc sfmn cu mnn, dnr fu nu tnnm, dnc nf nu n s-n ntmplnt tutun cf!n. Fu m tfmfnm, c ncfnstn nr putfn nsfmnn nfnurucnrf, df ncffn nm !fnnt fu nmfdnnt nstzn ln tnnf. "cut nm zmnnt fu n snnfmn. Multf !nsf nu nns ln n!fnl dnn suncuntnfnt, mn-n spus Mnchnfl. +nsul n fust u pu!fstf. )unnnutul !nsulun, ncfnstn n fust rfnlntntfn, pf cnrf n culurnt-u suncuntnfntul dunr cu nmngnnn. Frn u frumuns dup- nmnnz df smnt. Mnmn frn funrtf lnnntnt, lumnnnt nntfns df u pncf nntfrnunr. n fn frn sntuns. Mult tnmp nm mnn rmns fu trfnz dup lunrfn df rmns nun df ln fn n nm cugftnt. )um s-n fcut mnmn sntuns( *f undf !fnnsf putfrfn, cnrf n ptruns-u nntfns( ' prfsnmnrf tcut mn-n df!fnnt ncft cuntnfnt. Fu nm !nsnt n ncfnst nunptf dfsprf ffrncnrf n pncf. Fu frnm u pnsrf mnc, uunr n lnnfr, fr grn n. n nstffl m-nm n snmnt fu. 3 *umnncn frn nnsfrncn nfnt dnn cumun df frumus mpudunnt. Frnu rusnlnnlf. %lu nn dn!nn frn funrtf sulfmn. )fn muln mnnnstrnnn, tmnnu, curul nnsfrncfsc cntn u slu n n lntnn. Frn u uscnlnnf npnrtf n nnsfrnc. 2usnlnnlf n-nu fust numnn u dnt pf tnmpul npustulnlur, mn spusf Mnchnfl. Fnfcnrf nn sf rf!nrs duhul lun *umnfzfu dnn nuu pfstf ncfnn, cnrf sunt dnspun, s-l prnmfnsc. Fnfcnrf prfn c snmtf spfcnfncul ncfstfn znlf. $nnntf n pncf frn nculu - n putfrf. &utfrfn unun *umnfzfu nunntur, )nrf u rf!nrs cuntnnuu nsuprn cupnnlur %n n cfrtutudnnfn sngur, c cnd!n n ultnmul !n fn dnspus n n stnrf, s prnmfnsc drngustfn $un. )n df unncfn, fdfnm fu n fn df tut n drfnptn, n fnn prnmflur nncn, n scnunul mfu df nn!nlnd. Fu m lsnm dus df uscnlnnf n df putfrf n m-nm cufundnt n mfsn ul nfnrnn zugr!ntf df dfnsuprn mfn- Nnsus l n!nf pf $nzr dnn murn. Mnchnfl mn-n f,plncnt df n u dnt nsfmntntfn ncfstfnn. $nzr n fust prnmul. )nd!n n !n fn n!nnt Nnsus pf tun cfn .murn spnrntunl/, n !n flnnfrn df durnnflf n lcumnnlf lur mntfrnnlf. Fl n !n flnnfrn dnn dfprtnrfn lur fn *umnfzfu, dnn mputmulnrnlf lur n mntfrnf n df tuntf suffrnnflf, cnrf s-nu furmnt prnn cdfrfn df ln *umnfzfu - munrtfn duhu!nncfnsc. Fl n !n n!nn ln u !nn nuu, ln u !nn n urdnnfn *umnfzfnnsc, ln u !nn, cnrf fstf purtnt df cflf nptf nsunrn nlf lun *umnfzfu- drngustf, !unn, rndnrf, sfrnuzntntf, urdnnf, mnlustn!nrf n nflfpcnunf. Ncfnstn fstf n!nfrfn dnn murn, nnumf dnn murnn spnrntunln. "rupul fstf fr !nlunrf, numnn duhul fstf ncfln, cnrf trnftf. Fu m-nm pnfrdut n prn!nrfn ln nfnnrfn zugr!nt. )ulurnlf nu df!fnnt mnn lumnnunsf, mnn !nn, pftfrn df murmnt trnst n cfdnt n fn!urfn unun lnn nlnd df culnnf, pumn n flurn nu nprut n Nnsus mfrgfn nsprf mnnf. Nu nu frn Nnsus, frn Mnchnfl! Fu rfunsfm! *nn pruprnn putfrf! Mnchnfl s-n untnt ln mnnf. Nu, fnrftf cn nu dnn pruprnn putfrf! Nprunpf n fn df!fnnt fu nnrn ncrfzut. Frn putfrfn lun *umnfzfu, cnrf m purtnsf. Fu trfnunn numnn s cuprnnd frnghnn, pf cnrf Fl u nrunc nuu tut mfrfu, n s m lns trns n sus. *nr pfntru prnmn dnt rfunsfm, s cuprnnd ncfnst frnghnf fr n utur strnn. *rngustfn n smfrfnnn m curnsfr nn df mult, m flnnfrnsfr df nnlnst, cnrf nf nchndf nuu n mud nurmnl cnlfn. Fu frnm pfstf msur df ffrncnt. Frn pfntru mnnf, df pnrc n fn pfntru prnmn dnt ntr-ndf!r nncn. Mnchnfl n pnt ln mnnf. Mulumfsc! Fu n mulumfsc nf. 0ncurcnt m-nm untnt n sus ln fl. *n, fu n mulumfsc nf, c n-nn nsunt n!turnlf mflf, c nn fust un nsfmfnfn flf! nsculttur. )t df dfs suntfm nun rfspnnn, lunn n rs! Nngfrn( Ncftnn sunt tutun numnn n pu!fstf! )t df dfs fstf ustfnfnln nunstr zndnrnnc, ct df dfs sunt rfspnnsf ndrumrnlf nunstrf pur n snmplu n !nt! 0n cfl mnn nun cnz suntfm nun nunn pfntru fnptul, df n prf!fnn nccndfntf n s-n pznm pf unmfnn df .lu!nturn nlf dfstnnulun/. *nr ndrumnrf duhu!nncfnsc( Nu, df ncfnstn nu mnn nu nf!unf unmfnnn nstzn. Fn nu df!fnnt nsfnnnnn n rnnunnln. Fn dumnnnu nnturn n tfhnncn. Fn putfnu chnnr s znunrf pf lun. n ntuncn s sf lnsf cundun cn nntf cupnn mncn( Ncfst lucru nu l puntf cfrf nnmfnn ntr-ndf!r. *f nfmrgnnnt mult rndnrf n drngustfn fstf nf!unf, pfntru cn nnn ntrfgn, dn, puntf u !nn ntrfng, c s lucrn n .zndnr/, s rd pf sfnmn tn n s df!nn u fngurnn dnn pu!ftn. *nr n nuu nf mfrgf cn n !uu pf pmnt. )hnnr n cfn mnn mnc ln!nn

5;1

df!nnf udnt mnrf. 'dnt !n crftf cffn cf sf sfnmn. 0ntr-u nun zn df!nnf smnn plnnt. )nd, ncfst lucru nu dfpnndf df nun. $n ncfst lucru fu nncn nu m-nm gndnt. Nun dnspfrm df n dup scurt tnmp, ntuncn cnd nu sf !fdf succfsul durnt. )f mrfnf trfnunf s f,nstf ntuncn cnd lucrfzn zfcn df nnn, dn, puntf u !nn ntrfng df um, fr succfsul f!ndfnt( Fr n pnfrdf !rfudnt rndnrfn, fr n pnfrdf drngustfn( 'h ct df stupnzn sunt tutun unmfnnn! "u nu trfnunf s dnspfrn, n nntrnt Mnchnfl n gndurnlf mflf. &f pmnt fstf cu mult mnn grfu. )fn mnn muln unmfnn sunt df prfrf, c !nnn sf sfrftf dup munrtf, n tnmp cf nun n!fm !fnncnn n fnn uchnlur. )hnnr n tnmpul nrf u nlt nsfmnnrf pfntru nun. *fsprf ncfst lucru !fn nflfgf n tu n curnd ctf cf!n. *fcn! *nr, ncum, unt-tf punn mprf ur! Fu nu putfnm unsfr!n cf!n dfusfnnt, frn tutul cn df unncfn. &untf c flurnlf nflurfnu cf!n mnn nntfnsn!, puntf c nnrnn n!fn un mnrus mnn tnrf, puntf c psrnlf cntnu mnn mnnunnt. *nr n rfst( Frn mnn mult lumnn dfct nlt dnt. *n nnnfnflfs, frn mnn lumnnnt! n ntuncn fu l-nm !zut. %us pf cfr sttfn sunrflf n mrnmfn sn mrfn. Frn mnn strlucntur dfct mnn df surn pmntftn, n tutun nm putut s m unt dnrfct ln fl dup scurt tnmp. Nu, fu nu m-nm f,prnmnt curfct! %ttfn pur n snmplu pnsn!, pfntru n fmnnn u lumnn, cnrf nu-n npnrnnfn. Nu! Fl frn lumnnn! Fl sf untn ln mnnf! M lumnnn pn n ndncurn - n frn tutun pfstf tut. *n,df ncum nnnntf !n strlucn ntutdfnunn pfntru tnnf. Fstf lumnnn df !fcn, fstf Nnsus 7rnstus, fstf sunrflf %u, cnrf pfntru tnnf nu !n mnn npunf. *nr cum sf puntf, c fu !d sunrflf pfstf tut, fu put s m nturc cum !rfnu, n urncnrf dnrfcnf, n sunrflf fstf tut tnmpul prfzfnt. Nun nm !urnnt df multf urn dfsprf ncfst lucru. 0n lumfn spnrntunl nu f,nst lucrurn, cnrf lf-n crfnt cnnf!n snu cnrf lf-n nfznt, cns, pum, mnnn, flurn snu nnnmnlf - dfunrfcf nu f,nst mntfrnf. &fntru lumfn spnrntunl nu f,nst nncn uchn. 'chnul spnrntunl fstf, chnnr suflftul. "u pun !fdfn dunr cffn, cf fstf n tnnf! Ncum nn tu lumnnn lun Nnsus 7rnstus, nn prnmnt n tnnf drngustfn %n, dfcn prnn urmnrf u pun !fdfn. *nr nnnfnflfs pfstf tut, ccn nu nrf un punct stnnnl pf .cfr/. Fstf n tnnf. n pfstf tut undf ftn tu, fstf n ncfst sunrf. )nnf!n cnrf r!nftf dunr ln lucrurnlf mntfrnnlf, cnrf trnftf dunr pfntru nnnn n pfntru sntnsfncfrfn snmurnlur trupftn, spnrntunlul ncflunn fstf gul. n fl !n putfn !fdfn n lumfn spnrntunl dunr stncn gunlf. Nncn nnrn, nncn u flunrf nu !n putfn !fdfn, dunr frngul n pustnul n gulul n ntunfrncul! )u ct mnn mult drngustfn strngf n fl, cu ntt mnn cnld n mnn prnftfnuns fstf .nnnmn/ sn, dfcn cu ntt mnn cnld n mnn prnftfnuns df!nnf mprf urnrfn sn. Nmprf urnrfn fstf df fnpt u uglnnd n suflftulun! Ncfnstn fstf df fnpt n chfnn sprf rfcununtfrfn .cfrulun n n nndulun/. *umnfzfu nu udfc nncnudnt! Nncnudnt! *rngustfn fstf ntr-ndf!r n stnrf, s nn pf cnnf!n dnn scurt, s trnmnt .lu!nturn df dfstnn/ snu ncfrcrn, dnc flf fulusfsc, s-l n utf s-n schnmnf prfrfn n dnc l n ut s mfnrg un pns mnn dfpnrtf pf drumul spnrntunl. *rngustf mnn fstf n ntuncn, dnc l lu!ftn pf un cupnl pf dfgftf, pfntru n-l scutn df ru, ntuncn cnd ncfnrc pfntru n 9-n unr, s trng df pf sun cnznnul cu np clucutnt. *nr drngustfn nu pfdfpsftf nncnudnt, n n nncn ntr-un cnz pf !fcn. Nu, fnfcnrf sf rspltftf snu sf udfc pf snnf. *rngustfn pf cnrf tu nn strns-u pf pmnt, dftfrmnn stnrfn mprf urrnlur, n cnrf tu tf !fn nfln n lumfn spnrntunl. *rngustfn tf !n cunducf n .cfr/. 'rn ns puntf, cum fstf cnzul n pf pmnt, dfcn n n lumfn spnrntunl, s pru!uncf dunr cfnrt n suffrnnf ntr-un pfnsn pustnu fr lumnn n cldur. Ncfstn fstf .nndul/, n n ncfst nnd sf nfl cnnf!n dunr nttn tnmp, ct npnrnnf fl df ncfstn cu gndurnlf snlf. *nc fl fstf df prfrf, c trfnunf s-$ urnsc pf *umnfzfu pf !fcn, ntuncn sf !n nfln fl pf !fcn n ncfnst stnrf, ndnc n ncfl .nnd/. *nr fl nu fstf nruncnt df *umnfzfu nculu, fstf pur n snmplu dfcnznn sn lnnfr! *nc fl sf schnmn n dnc sf ntunrcf n nntfrnurul su sprf drngustf, ntuncn sf !n schnmnn cunfurm lun pfnsn ul cnrf l ncun unr. Ncfnstn fstf lfgfn. n fn nu sf !n schnmnn nncnudnt, nttn tnmp ct !n f,nstn crfnnn. *nc cnnf!n, cnrf dup gndurnlf snlf nr trfnun s fnf n .nnd/, n fstf ndus n cfrurn, fl nu nr putfn supurtn ncfnstn. Fl nu nr putfn supurtn lumnnn, nr fn cfl mnn mnrf chnn pfntru fl, n fl s-nr nruncn n mnrf grnn nnpun n ntunfrnc. Fstf f,nct nn, cn n cum cnnf!n nr n!fn uchnn sfnsnnnln ln lumnn. Fl nu puntf supurtn lumnnn n sf snmtf nnnf dunr n sfmn-ntunfrnc. *nr cu ct mnn mult sf mnuntftf stnrfn sn , cu ntt mnn mult lumnn puntf supurtn fl. *nr !nnn u nu uchnn, n nu lumnnn! *f ncffn pun !fdfn tu ncum pfstf tut lumnnn lun Nnsus 7rnstus. "u nn n uns ncum nn df dfpnrtf, c pun ncfpf s lucrfzn spnrntunl, pun ncfpf s df!nn u unfnlt n lun *umnfzfu pf pmnt. "u tnn ncum, c tutul cf fstf, cf f,nst, n fust crfnt prnn gnd. )hnnr n pmntul n tut cf f,nst pf ncfstn. $n ncfput n fust cu!ntul, gndul, ndnc fnfrgnf curnt, n ncfnstn s-n ndfsnt nn df tnrf, ntt df .grfu/, cn n df!fnnt mntfrnf. &rnn gndurn sf put crfn tuntf, sf put schnmnn tuntf, snu sf put dnstrugf. Gndurnlf trfnunf s fnf dunr funrtf putfrnncf. Ncfn putfrf u prnmftn tu df ln *umnfzfu. *nr prutf fnz-tf, mnn nlfs ntuncn, cnd n prsftn curpul. &n ncum nu fcut nlnn ncfst lucru. Ncum ns trfnunf s-u fncn snngur. &utfrnlf rflf stnu tut tnmpul ln pnd, n ntuncn cnd n nrn !ulnfrnnnlntntf, lu!fsc ntutdfnunn. &rutf fnz-tf df duu urn, n prnmul rnd prnn rugcnunf, dfunrfcf !nnrnnnlf sf nfnz cn un cluput n urul tu. 0n nl dunlfn rnd- gndftf-tf ln u crucf df lumnn, cnrf st n tnnf, cnrf fstf n curpul tu n cnrf strlucftf pn n f,tfrnur. Gndftf-tf nntfnsn! ln ncfnstn, n fn df!nnf ndf!r n lumfn spnrntunl. F-u dnn lumnn clnr n strlucntunrf. Gndftf-tf c rnzflf cnrf fmnn ncfn crucf, nlung tut cf fstf ru n nfgntn!, dnr ln tut cf fstf nun n puzntn! n crunftf drum sprf tnnf. Ncfn lumnn n-u puntf supurtn nncn un spnrnt ru. *fcn ncfnstn n fust, ln cf s-n rfffrnt fl cu cu!nntflf- Nun mnn n!fm nf!unf df tnnf. *fz!ultnrfn mfn frn df n dfstul df n!nnsnt, ncum n!fnm !unf s n ut pf nlnn. Fu frnm nucuruns, ffrncnt n mulumnt. Mnchnfl m-n mnrnnt. Ncum du-tf n drngustfn lun *umnfzfu, fu sunt mfrfu nlturn df tnnf.

5;4

Gus df tut nm unsfr!nt fu curpul mfu. Fu plutfnm sun nultn ncpfrnn nltnrulun n sn!urnm uurnnn spnrntulun. Muzncn, rugcnunfn, tutul prfn mnn rfnl, mult mnn !nu. Nncn u durfrf, nncn u grn , nncn un trup .grfu/ nu dfrnn n duhul. Fu nm fzntnt, n dfudnt nm tnut, df cf nu n-n fust dnt fnfcrunn ncfst dnr, df cf n mud nurmnl trfnunf luptnt pfntru ncfnstn. )fn mnn muln nu s-nr ntunrcf nnpun! Fn nu nr schnmnn lnrgul n frumusffn spnrntulun cu strmtunrfn n cu suffrnnflf curpulun. *nr dnc nu mnn !ur s sf rfntunrc, sf rupf cnd!n ncfn frnghnf, cnrf mprfunfnz curpul cu duhul. &rnn ncfnstn munrf trupul, n fn nu mnn nu pusnnnlntntfn, s sf dfz!ultf n cuntnnunrf n s trnnsc, cffn, cf fstf cfl mnn nmpurtnnt, n stnrfn cnrf sf nfl fn. Ntuncn cnd fu mnm nflnt dnn nuu n curpul mfu, m-n lu!nt durfrfn dnn plnn. N durnt u !rfmf, pn cnd fu nm ncfput s-u stpnfsc. %lu nn nu s-n tfrmnnnt nc, n ncfnstn nsfmnn, c fu nm .lnpsnt/ cfl mult u umtntf df ur, dnr dup snmurnlf mflf, nm pftrfcurt nlturn df Mnchnfl mnn multf urf. *fcn ncfnstn frn dnffrfnn dnntrf tnmp. Nncftul cu ncftul nm ncfput s nflfg. ' stnrf df ffrncnrf s-n rspndnt n mnnf, nn cum fu nu nm mnn cunuscut-u. Fu nm prnmnt pusnnnlntntfn, s nntru n cuntnct cu lumfn dumnfzfnnsc, n fu nm ncfput, s nunfsc curpul mfu dffurmnt. Fl mn-n uffrnt ncfnst nns. Fr fl nu n fn gsnt cu nttn uurnn ncfst drum. 5 $n mnsn df nmnnz m-n hrnnt Frfd. Frn un nnnt nun, df uptsprzfcf nnn, dnr cu mnntfn unun cupnl df nsf nnn. Frn surdu-mut, n pncnunrflf snlf frnu nfpfnntf, dnr fl frn tut tnmpul prnftfnus, dn puntf c n cumnc. 'nul, cnrf nncnudnt nu sf plngfn. Fl sf ucupn dfsfurn df mnnf, fu frnm cu ntutfnunn cu drng n cumpnnnn sn. &f fl nu-l cunducfnu umnrflf. *fudnt n dnsprut nmngnnfn lun dnn fnn uchnnlur mfn. 'n rfgf sttfn n fnn mfn. Fl fdfn pf un trun df nur, ncun urnt df lnngunturnn, cnrf l !fnfrnu. %nln frn ct sf puntf df frumus nrnn nt. ' mns ffstn! frn nrnn nt, n sfr!nt, tutul frn mnnunnt. Nmngnnnlf sf schnmnnu rfpfdf. Fl prfn s fnf un rfgf ntrn nflfpt n drfpt, tun, cnrf n cfrfnu sfntul, prfnu s fnf mulumnn. Fl trfnunn s fn fust n funrtf dnrnnc, dfunrfcf ntr-u ncpfrf mnrf ln sf ddfn df mncnrf srncnlur n fn prnmfnu hnnnf n nltf lucrurn nmpurtnntf. Fu l !fdfnm cum sf rugn n l !fdfnm mfrgnd ln nnsfrnc. Nnsfrncn frn mnnunnt. Fl sttfn n lu n sn df rfgf n prnmfn cu un zmnft mnlustn! tuntf snlutrnlf slu nturnlur sn. 2ugcnunfn ct n purtnrfn sn nntfrnunr frn .drfnpt/. Fl n utn nnsfrncn dup tuntf putfrnlf snlf n sf mplncn cu tunt fnnnn. *fudnt n nprut un nrnnt, cnrf n stnt nprunpf nf!zut n fundnl. Fl frn snmplu mnrcnt, chnpul su frn ncun urnt df lumnn. Fl n !urnnt- "u ftn un rfgf, pf plncul lun *umnfzfu, nflfpt, drfpt, rndtur n plnn df drngustf. "u nu tf-nn rftrns df ln grfu n nu nn pncnt prnd nspntflur, cnrf !nn u dnt cu putfrfn n cu nugnn. Ncum ftn prfgtnt s n!fn ultnmul n cfl mnn grfu lucru, umnlnnn. Nmngnnnlf n pnfrdfnu culurnlf, n Frfd sttfn dnn nuu n fnn mfn. Fl mn zmnfn n mn-n ngnt n gur u lnngur plnn df snlnt df cnrtufn. Fu putfnm !fdfn prnn fl, putfnm !fdfn spnrntul su n m-nm untnt ntrfntur sprf fl. Fl n dnt dnn cnp n n ncfput s zmnfnsc. Ncum tnnm df cf m snmfnm nn df nnnf n prfzfnn lun. Nun nf nsfmnnm funrtf tnrf n .dfstnnul/ pf cnrf l n!fnm. 3 'rmturul tnmp n trfcut rfpfdf. Fu m rugnm mult n m ndncfnm n mfdntnnf. Fu prnmfnm prnn ncfnstn nn df mult putfrf, c dfsfurn nu mnn snmfnm nncn un ffl df durfrf. Funrtf prfcns sf snmfn cum curgfn !nlul df fnfrgnf pfstf cnp n spntf. Frn, df pnrc n fn stnt ntr-un cnrcunt df curfnt. Mulumnrf, ffrncnrf n pncfn s-nu nnstnlnt, pfntru cn s nu m mnn prsfnsc n !fcn. Nprunpf nncnudnt! Fu putfnm snmn curfntul, cnrf curgfn n sus n n us prnn culunnn mfn !frtfnrnl. Fl sf furmn n rurn mnrn, pfntru n df!fnn cfntrf df putfrf n rfzfr!f df fnfrgnf. Fu m gndfnm ln u crucf dnn lumnn strlucntunrf, cnrf frn nlnmfntnt df ncfstf cfntrf. )um mn-n spus Mnchnfl, frn tut tnmpul nculu, cnd fu mn-u nmngnnnm. )u tuntf ncfstfn nm fust surprnns, cnd dup un tnmp nm putut ntr-ndf!r s !d ncfn crucf. *f n df mnn mult !rfmf nm unsfr!nt, c umnrflf cflurlnn, ntuncn cnd !fnfnu sprf mnnf, sf ddfnu nnpun cn n curfntnn n nu putfnu s sf nprupnf mnn tnrf df mnnf. Ncum !fdfnm, c ncfst lucru sf dnturn crucnn. 2nzflf fn mpnngfn umnrflf nnpun. Nn nm putut s mnn unsfr!, c muln cupnn df!fnfnu mnn lnnntnn n nprupnfrfn mfn. )hnnr n surflf, cnrf frnu .nfcumfstnnnlf/, df!fnfnu n nprupnfrfn mfn mult mnn pnnncf. )hnnr n ndmnnnstrntunrfn n rfunt n ultnmn !rfmf, s !urnfnsc cu mnnf snu s-mn ntunrc pngnnnlf crnn mflf. *n, prfn chnnr s-n fnc plcfrf, s stfn un tnmp n nprupnfrfn mfn. Ncum tnnm fu n df cf! 3 Nntr-u dnmnnfn n ncfput Nfn nmnn s fnc u crnz. Fl lu!fn cu cnpul fr ntrfrupfrf zndul, nprunpf c nncn nu putfnn s prn!ftn n ncfn dnrfcnf. Fl n!fn dfsfurn ncfstf crnzf. )urpul nu n frn dfluc dffurmnt n df multf urn prfn s fnf ct sf puntf df nurmnl. F!ndfnt frnu dunr uffrtflf snlf f,ngfrntf df n utur, n tnmp cf frn ntt df nfndfmnntnc, c fnfcnrf, dnc frn pusnnnl, rfnunn ln n uturul lun, n ncfst lucru l fcfn s fnf funrtf trnst.

5;5

%nmurnlf snlf rfcfpnunnu df fnfcnrf dnt ncfnstn. *f n tut ln ctf!n znlf n!fn ncfstf crnzf. *f unncfn durnu u ur pnn ln duu urf n l unusfnu. *up ncffn sttfn urf n nr n suspnnn, dnr nu prfn s nnn durfrn mnrn. *f dntn ncfnstn frn cn un nnnmnl slnntnc. )n n mncn spnrndun sttfnu nfnumrntf umnrf pf cfnfn sn n l lu!fnu cu pumnn n l nnu. Nnmfnn nu putfn s-l lnnntfnsc, pn cnd dfudnt mn-n trfcut prnn mnntf u ndff. Fu nm nfznt n nntfrnurul lun u crucf df lumnn, mn-nm chnpunt-u ct sf puntf df nntfnsn! n nm nlnmfntnt-u cu gndurnlf mflf cu fnfrgnf. Fu putfnm !fdfn, cum df!fnfn dnn cf n cf mnn mrfn, pn cnd n strlucnt pfstf tut. 'mnrflf sf mputrn!fnu, m nmfnnnnu, dnr nu frnu dfstul df putfrnncf. *f nnnnu n-nu pnfrdut n ultnmul fchnlnnru, n Nfn nmnn n df!fnnt dnn nuu lnnntnt. Fl n fust unusnt n suspnnn ncft. &fntru prnmn unr nm df!fnnt cuntnfnt df putfrfn spnrntulun. n putfrfn, cnrf u n!fnu ncfstf fnnnf, ct n putfrfn pf cnrf u putfnm fulusn mputrn!n lur. 0n f,tfrnur nu n unsfr!nt nnmfnn nnmnc. F!ndfnt frn cfl mult fnptul, c crnzn lun Nfn nmnn s-n tfrmnnnt nn df rfpfdf. Fu nm fust nfschnmnnt n f,tfrnur. *nr m-n custnt mult putfrf. Fu frnm unusnt, n n durnt mnn multf urf, pn cnd nm fust n stnrf, s m umplu cu fnfrgnf prnn cnlfn mfdntnnfn. *f nnnn dup duu znlf mn-nm rf!fnnt cu tutul! &unn nfncfrfztunrf nm fust tutun, ntuncn cnd Mnchnfl mn-n pu!fstnt dfsprf luptn spnrntflur. Ncum ns nm trnt, ct df rfnl fstf ncfnst lupt, cu cf putfrf trfnunf ndus ln nun sfrnt. Fu n-nm mulumnt lun Mnchnfl, c mn-n dnt nmpulsul curfspunztur. Mnn lun prfn s sf pun cu tnndrff pf umrul mfu. Ncfstn n fust ncfputul, mn-n spus. )u tnmpul !fn n!n s lupn, fr s tf unusftn. *nr s nu df!n supfrfncnnl, s-n prn!ftn tut tnmpul n sfrnus! Fu m-nm nucurnt c frn nlturn df mnnf, n nn nm ndurmnt rfpfdf. Frn ntunfrnc n rfcf. &frfnn nfcnulun suntfrnn frnu umfzn. "rfn nrnnn nprunpf dfznrcnn frnu prnnn cu lnnurn df pfrftf. )hnpurnlf lur frnu plnnf df tfrunrf, unulnnnn n nltf ruztunrf lf-nu mncnt df n pncnunrflf. Npru,nmntn! dnn duu n duu sfcundf pncnu strupn df np pf cnpftflf lur dnntr-u fn! cunstrunt pfntru ncfst lucru. Fr ntrfrupfrf! Hnlf ntrfgn! %ptmnn ntrfgn! 'n nrnnt sttfn n fnn lur n zmnfn n dnrfcnn lur. "ut mfrgfn sprf runnnftul cu np, f!ndfnt n!nd nntfnnn s-l uprfnsc, pfntru n sf putfn nucurn dnn nuu, ln sclnpnrfn df spfrnn, cnrf n lumnnnt dnn uchnn fr f,prfsnf, pfntru n fn nlucunt dnn nuu df tfrunrf. *fudnt s-n nturs turnunnrul, nn cn fu s-n put !fdfn dnn plnn fnn. Fu nm znnfrnt df grunz. Frn Nfn nmnn! Mult tnmp n durnt n ncfn nunptf pn cnd fu nm ndurmnt dnn nuu. "ut tnmpul nu nprut dnn nuu ncfstf nmngnnn ngruzntunrf. *f cf( Fu nu putfnm s cfrcftfz ncfnstn n prufunznmf. Nncn un nnnnnl nu fstf cnpnnnl s chnnunf un nltul. Nncn mcnr pnsncn, cnrf sf unc cu unrfcflf, nu fncf ncfnstn dnn plcfrf, cn numnn dnn nnstnnct, pfntru c, cnrnfn fstf mnn dulcf ln gust dup ncffn. $n ncfnstn fstf unrfcflf ns nn df pnrnlnznt, c fl nu mnn snmtf nnmnc. )um puntf un um s nfptunnsc nn cf!n! )um puntf un um s sf nucurf df chnnurnlf nltunn! )f ffl df ndfprtnrf df ln *umnfzfu fstf nfcfsnr pfntru ncfst lucru! *nr *umnfzfu nu rfspnngf pf nnmfnn. Nncn pf ncftn unmfnn. )f ffl df mn luncf sunt nfcfsnrf, pfntru n dfschndf uchnn unur nsfmfnfn unmfnn, pfntru n lf fncf lnmpfdf grffnln fnptfn lur( % nprfcnfz ncfnstn, nu put! Numnn un snngur lucru l tnu sngur- Nu sunt nncnudnt pfdfpsf! )hnnr dnc n uchnn nftnuturn n nfncrfzturn nn lumnn nrnt ncfnstn nc funrtf mult nstffl. Nu sunt nncnudnt pfdfpsf, numnn ncurdrn df n utur, cnrf nrnt sprf dnrfcnn curfct, dnc cnnf!n fstf dnspus, s sf cunfurmfzf n s prfnn mfsn ul lur. Nstffl !rfn umul s sf fnc udfctur pfstf *umnfzfu. Fl sf snmtf nlfstfmnt snu cfl punn trntnt nfdrfpt n l n ur dnn cnuzn .pfdfpsfn/ grflf, pf cnrf n pus-u *umnfzfu nsuprn lun. $n ncfnstn numnn c nu fstf fl n stnrf, s !nd nuntntfn nfmrgnnnt n lun *umnfzfu, cnrf n fncf nstffl df-nnnn pusnnnl, s gsfnsc cnlfn curfct n tutun s-n pstrfzf !unnn lun lnnfr. Ncfnstn fstf mnrfn dnfncultntf. *nc n-nr fn !unnn lnnfr, ntuncn nr fn pfntru *umnfzfu un lucru uur, s-l nn pf ncfstn ln Fl ntr-u sfcund, fr suffrnn, fr chnn. *nr Fl nr fn dnstrus cu ncfnstn duhul su lnnfr pfntru tutdfnunn, nr fn fcut u fnnn lnnfr s df!nn un scln!. )nnf fstf n stnrf, s pfnsc pf cnlfn cfn ngust, cnrf ducf prnntrf dfcnznn lnnfr n !unnfn n nndmnsnnnln nnflufnnrf( )nnf puntf nprfcnn ncfnst drumfnf pf muchnf n cnnf puntf s fnc crntnc ln ndrfsn mn luncflur, pf cnrf *umnfzfu lf nng n lupt( *nc unul, crunn fu n ntnnd mnn, pfntru c n czut n np, nu !rfn s cuprnnd ncfnst mn dnn ngmfnrf, ntuncn fu tutun nu sunt df!nn, dnc fl sf lupt cu nnfcul. &fntru unul, cnrf plfnc dfpnrtf, puntf prunnnnl s pnr nn, df pnrc fu l-nm rfspnns. Numnn cfl cnrf st nprunpf puntf s mrturnsfnsc cuntrnrnul. *f cf nu-l crfdf nnmfnn( )upnlul puntf fn suprnt pf mnn, cnrf l trngf rfpfdf n dur dnn fnn mnnnnn cnrf sf nprupnf. ) fl n dnturfnz ncfstfn mnn !nnn, tnf numnn cfl cf !fdf - n cfl crfdnncnus. 3 Nfrn n murnt surn Grncnn. *f un tnmp ndflungnt fusfsf fn nunn!, fr s sf fn plns !rfudnt chnnr numnn punn. Fu tnnm, c fn n!fn durfrn putfrnncf, fu putfnm s-n !d nntfrnurul suffrnnd, cffn cf f,tfrnurul fn nscundfn smfrnt. "ut cf fcfn fn, frn u rugcnunf. "ut cf fcfn fn, fcfn fn pfntru *umnfzfu. Nntutdfnunn sf nfln fn ntr-u lfgtur duhu!nncfnsc cu Fl n n mulumfn pfntru suffrnnn, pf cnrf Fl n-u trnmnsfsf. n ntutdfnunn n!fn fn tnmp, n tutdfnunn gsfn fn cu!nntf nlnnttunrf pfntru fnfcnrf. *f n nnnntf cu u sptmn prf!zusf fn munrtfn fn. 'n ngfr n !fnnt ln fn n n-n spus- +nnu, "ntl tf ntfnpt! Nngfrul n-n mnn prsnt-u n ncfnst sptmn, n prfgtnt-u pfntru !nnn nuu, munrtfn trupulun n .nntfrfn/ duhulun. )u trfn urf nnnntf df

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munrtfn fn n lunsf fn rmns nun df ln tun, l rugnsf umnl pf prfut pfntru n u spu!fdn. 'ltnmflf fn cu!nntf sunnu cn u ntrnrf prnn urmnt- *rngustfn lun *umnfzfu fstf sfcrftul %u. %fcrftflf nu nu nncnudnt unncfnul s sf nflf pf us, pf strnd. *nr fnfcrunn, cnrf !nnf ln Fl n l rung pfntru ncfstfn, n fncf cunuscutf ncfstf sfcrftf. 2ul n ncunnt un ln cnmfrn $un cu trfn ncunfturn. )hfnlf ln ncfnstn sunt- drngustfn, smfrfnnn n rndnrfn. )u punn tnmp nnnntf df munrtfn fn nu nprut nln dun ngfrn. Fn nu lunt duhul fn df suflft n mn lucul lur n lnu rpnt, ctrf lumnn. ' dnstnn scurt nm putut fu s-n ncumpnnnfz, ntuncn nu dnsprut fn. Ncfnst nlnmf nc n-u putfnm urcn. &nsrfn n fust nnrn lnnfr# nsunt df trfn !ulturn n znurnt fn pn n cfl mnn nnlt cfr. Fn nu sf mnn ngrn fn df cucn munrt, pf cnrf tun u plngfnu. 3 Mnmn frn dfsfurn ln mnnf. *f un tnmp m !nzntn fn nprunpf fnfcnrf spmn. Fu frnm df nsfmfnfn ndfsfn ln fn n duh, !urnfnm mult cu fn, n ddfnm putfrf. Fu putfnm s n nzgunfsc umnrflf, cnrf u chnnunnu. $n ncfput df fnfcnrf dnt dnn nuu. )u tnmpul prfn fffctul s durfzf tut mnn mult, pn cf flf s-nu rftrns ntr-u nun zn pf dfplnn. *rngustfn crfscusf n fn n furmn mprfun cu rugcnunfn u nfurnrf prutfctunrf n urul fn. Nntrndf!r n fust fn tut tnmpul nnrn cunturnnt df ncfstf duhurn rflf, cnrf u nfc fnu cu ntncurnlf lur n cu dunnnlf lfn, dnr s sf stnnnlfnsc nu mnn putfnu flf. n drngustfn tntlun nfptunsf udnt ncflnn lucru n n prucurnsf ndfsfn lnnntf pfntru un tnmp scurt, urf, n cnrf fn frn funrtf ffrnct cu tntn. % nngf df sfnm tuntf ncfstfn nu putfn mnmn. *nr fn snmfn lfgturn, pf cnrf u cunstrunsfm ctrf fn. Fn l-n prflunt ncum pf *umnfzfu n !nnn fn, gsnsf n sfrnt cf!n pncf. *nr trfcutul fn u chnnunn mfrfu. 2fpruurnlf u fcfnu s suffrf. Nntr-u dup nmnnz s-n prnunt fn, plngnd. Fu n-nm fcut nf n tntlun !nnn nn df grfn. Fu nm fust nn df fr drngustf n fgunst )um s put fu s ndrfpt ncfnstn !rfudnt( )u ct df mult drng n-n fn nnut ncum mnmfn un dnscurs lung dfsprf drngustfn lun *umnfzfu, cnrf nu trfnunf nncnudnt s nfrtf, pfntru c fn n-n ncuznt nncnudnt. *nr pfntru ncfst fnpt nu frnm fu n stnrf. )tf!n gndurn nlnnttunrf putfnm fu s-n fnc nflfsf, n ncfnstn mfrgf df n dfstul df grfu. *nr fu tnnm, cf !urnfnm fu cu fn n duh, ncfst lucru durn prunnnnl punn mnn mult, pn cf n pfn n cuntnfntul fn, dnr ntuncn df!fnfn nstn pruprnftntfn fn. Ncfnstn !fnfn ntuncn dnn .nntfrnur/ n putfn df ncffn s fnf nflfns mult mnn rfpfdf dfct gndurn strnnf n duscunn nurmnl. )t df dfs nu n nu unrnn gndurnlf n !un nn!, spusf Mnchnfl u dnt. )fn mnn muln nu put dnstnngf gndurn strnnf df cflf pruprnn. Nngfrul !ustru fstf ncuntnnuu ucupnt cu fnptul, df n ! nntruducf gndurn, cnrf ! nrnt cnlfn cfn ndf!rnt. Ncfnstn fstf cffn, cf fstf ndfsfn numnt cn scrupulf. *nr ct df uur sunt ncfstfn nnrnn nruncntf cu uurnn! 'n ngfr tutun nu nrf putfrfn, s ! unlngf sprf nnnf, fl dunr nu puntf punf !unnn !unstr n nfnrn strnn df funcnunf. &f df-u pnrtf uptfsc umnrflf nfncftnt nsuprn !unstr, ! cunfnrm n !ncnnlf n pntnmnlf !unstrf, ! ndfnmn sprf fnptf runnunsf n crnmf, ln cnrf flf sf dfsftfnz ntuncn. *f cf nscult numnn nn df muln cu nun-!unn df flf( Nncn ncfstfn nu sunt tutun gndurnlf lur pruprnn. Fu trfnunf s-n fnu tntlun nfsfrnt df mulumntunrf, c fl n rmns ln mnnf! Mnmn m lunsf nnrn nnpun dnn !nsflf mflf. Fu nu n-n fn putut nnf cu prfrf df ru, dnc fl s-nr fn dus, dnc fl n-nr mnn fn putut supurtn !nnn cu ncfnst ffmfnf ncpnnt, fr drngustf. *nr fl frn ncfln, cnrf mn-n prfgtnt cnlfn cu drngustfn lun. Fr fl n-n fn gsnt cnlfn nnpun ln *umnfzfu. Fu nm n !nsnt tut tnmpul nnrn dfsprf tntn, n fl fstf mfrfu nn df nunntur n rndtur cn nnnntf. *n, un mfsn frn drngustfn. Fl !urnfn dfsfurn n duh cu mnmn, cum mn pu!fstnsf Mnchnfl ndfsfn. Nu cuntnfnt, cum putfnm fu s-u fnc ncum. *rngustfn fncf ncfnstn nutumntnc. n mfsn ul fn n ungf tutdfnunn ln dfstnnnnf, chnnr dnc nstn durfnz ctfudnt pfntru nununnlf nunstrf nfsfrnt df mult, dn chnnr n ntuncn, cnd pfntru nun nu df!nnf !nznnnl nnsulut nncn un succfs. )nd!n udnt sunt mprf urrnlf fn!urnnnlf, ntuncn nns rsndul. Nun trfnunf dunr s dm drumul prnn clcnrf ln!nnflur nunstrf mncn. Mnrn df!nn flf ntuncn snngurf. )t df muln cfdnu nstzn ntt df rfpfdf n sf dfspnrt, pfntru c nnmfnn nu lf puntf prftnndf, s trnnsc mprfun cu .nn cnnf!n. Fn nu mnn sunt dnspun, s nduc frtff, s dfn un pns nnpun snu prunnnnl s n slu fnsc u dnt. Fn nu mnn sunt dnspun, s cunsnmt cu cfllnlt, s-l nccfptf pf dfplnn, s-l n utf ln rfzul!nrfn prunlfmflur snlf. 'rnnn df fgunsmul lur pruprnu !d fn numnn grfflnlf snlf Ann znsfB. *rngustfn n df!fnnt dfmudnt- nuturfnlnznrf sf numftf cu!ntul df df!nz! n ln ncfnstn fstf cfllnlt tutun numnn stn fnntur. Fl fstf dunr .fulusnt/ cn un unnfct, nn df dfpnrtf pf ct sfr!ftf fl pruprnnlur nntfrfsf n durnnf - n dup ncffn fstf nnrn nruncnt. Frn nn df frumus df n !fdfn, cum mnmn sf schnmnnsf. Fn sf rugn mult n n n utn pf cfnlnln nn df mult pf ct putfn. $ucrurn mntfrnnlf nsfmnnu pfntru fn cu mult mnn punn dfct nnnntf. *nr ncfstfn nu frnu numnn .cumurn pfntru cfr/, pf cnrf fn lf ndunn. n nncn n ncum n mfrgfn prnn ncfnstn df n cu mult mnn nnnf. Fn n df!fnnt mnn mulumnt. $n tunt muncn n suffrnnn sllunn tutun u ffrncnrf tcut n fn. "ntn sf nucurn cu sngurnn funrtf mult df ncfst fnpt. Fl n-n nrtnt n !ns, cn fn s nu nnn nustnlgnf dup fl n gndurn, cn s sf ucupf df fnptul, cn frnnn mfn, cnrf frnu ncum nmndun df n mnturn n n!fnu fnmnlnn pruprnn, s punt gsn tut nn cnlfn cfn drfnpt. *f mult rndnrf n drngustf !n fn nf!unf pfntru ncfst lucru.

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6 Nnc u dnt nnrn trfnunn fu s fnu dus spfntru nnnlnzf n clnnnc, ntr-u clnnnc unn!frsntnr, n cnrf n-nm mnn fust nncnudnt. Fu !runnm mnn ntn s m upun, nm rfnlnznt ns ncun, c fu nu n!fnm nncn u nns# nstffl m-nm dnt fu n mnnnlf dfstnnulun mfu. *nn tnmpul nccndfntulun nu mnn pnsfm n nncn u clnnnc, n ncfnstn n fust n urm cu u grmnd df nnn. *f n df dfpnrtf m-n cuprnns un sfntnmfnt ru. Ntuncn cnd nun nfnm nflnt n fnn purnn, m-nm spfrnnt fu funrtf tnrf. &fntru prnmn dnt df cnd putfnm .!fdfn/, m-n cuprnns u frnc df nfdfscrns. Frn u nmngnnf df cnus. *uhurnlf murnlur n !nn, nlf nnnmnlflur n unmfnnlur, tuntf df!fnnsfr u mns n fnfrnfrf, nfngr. &fstf tuntf sf nfln un nmfns strngt df n utur duhu!nncfsc. )um n frn cun!n pusnnnl, s lucrfzf nncn, fr s fnf strn!nt df ncfnstn( *uu znlf trfnunn s rmn nncn, mn spusfr fn. Fu trfmurnm cu tut trupul. Nu-mn frn pusnnnl s mfdntfz. Fr ncftnrf m lu!fnu umnrf, nu-mn lsnu nncn cfl mnn mnc luc df lnnntf. Fu l-nm rugnt pf Mnchnfl dup n utur, df-nnnn ntuncn mn-n rfunt, s-mn fnc cf!n spnnu lnnfr n lnnntf cu crucfn df lumnn. Nncnudnt nnrn nu mn-n mnn fust fffctul fn nn df lnmpfdf cuntnfnt cn nncn. 2nzflf fn crfnu un znd, cnrf m nfurn prutfctur. *nr sumnul nu frn pusnnnl. *f ndnt cf nm fust lsnt n pncf df ctrf ducturn, nm cutnt scpnrfn ln Mnchnfl. Muln trfnunf nncn s-n pftrfnc ntrfngn !nn! Fu m-nm untnt ndflung ln ducturn n ln sururn. )n prnzunnfrn ntr-u cntndfl n umnrflur nrtnu fn. *nn tuntf prnlf !fnfnu flf n trgfnu df fn, lf sugfnu tut dnn fn. )nnf !runn nncn s suprn!nfunnsc, trfnunn s nnn u ndf!rnt nntur df tnur - snu s fnf un sfnt. Fu putfnm s-n !d pf unnn dnntrf ncftn sfnnn. 2ugcnunfn n drngustfn n nfurnu cn un curt prutfctur. %mfrnn sfr!fnu fn tuturur, nnfnu tut tnmpul u nucnt df pncf n mnnnlf lur n u mprfnu tuturur, cnrf sf ntnndfnu s prnmfnsc ncfnstn. Nnflfgfrf, nuntntf n nlnntnrf n nfurnu n pf pncnfnnn lur ntr-u mnntnu prutfctunrf. Fnfrgnn, pf cnrf fn u fmnnnu mfrfu, curgfn fr nncftnrf cn ndnus dnn sffrn duhu!nncfsc-dumnfzfnfnsc, un nz!ur cnrf nncnudnt nu sfcn pfntru ncfln, cnrf rung n sf rung pfntru n prnmn ncfnstn. %un cnmfrn mfn trfnunn s sf nflf curtfn df dnnnnntf sprf nnd. Numnn cu prutfcnn lun Mnchnfl nm ndrznnt s m duc nculu. Frnu duhurnlf n zfcn df mnn df nnnmnlf, cnrf umplfnu ncpfrnlf cn u mnrf spumfgnd dnn lncrnmn, frnc n rfpru. Nncnudnt n-nm !zut fu lucrurn mnn ngruzntunrf, nncnudnt u suffrnn mnn mnrf. $n chnnurn nfnmngnnnnnlf trfnunnu ncfstf nnnmnlf s fn fust pusf. Frn nndul! )rfnt prnntr-unn dnntrf cflf mnn ngruzntunrf crnmf nlf umfnnrnn, !n!nsfcnn. )u trupul !nu, fr nnfstfznf fusfsfr multf dnntrf ncfstf nnnmnlf upfrntf. *nc f,nstn u cunl pfntru drncn, ncfnstn df nncn trfnunn s fnf. *uhurnlf nnnmnlflur, nltffl fnnf nn df !nunnf, frnu dfsfngurntf pn ln nfrfcununtfrf. *uhul nnnmnlflur nu sf nfl nncn pf dfpnrtf nn df strns n trup cn ln unmfnn. *f ncffn puntf un nnnmnl s supurtf mult mnn uur durfrn .nurmnlf/. 'n nnnmnl suffr df rfgul ln rnnrn n nuln nncn pf dfpnrtf nn df tnrf cn un um. unrfcflf, cu cnrf sf unc pnsncn, zfnrn, pf cnrf n prnns-u lful, muscn, cnrf n fust prnns df pnnn fn, flf nu suffr ln ncfnstn. *uhul lur sf dfprtfnz ntt df dfpnrtf df trup, c fl rmn nfturnurntf df ncfnstn. Numnn chnnurn nlf schnngnunrnlur nfumfnftn put ducf ln nnnmnl ln fnptul, c duhul su fstf n fl nnclus, c fl suffr chnnurn nlf nndulun n fstf n nn ffl df dfsfngurnt, cum fu nm gsnt ncfnstn nncn. *f cf( &fntru cf( 'n rspuns ln ncfstf ntrfnrn nu fstf pusnnnl. Nn cn n cum dnntr-un rznun nu puntf nncnudnt s nns pncf ndf!rnt n dnn nfnurucnrfn nlturn nncnudnt ffrncnrf ndf!rnt, nstffl nncn nu sf lns nncnudnt n!nns prnn sufrnnn nlturn pruprnn nunl. *nn durfrf, strmturnrf n munrtf - n snu f,nct ntuncn cnd fstf !urnn df nnnmnlf - nu puntf nncnudnt s fnf nscut sntntfn. Mfdncnmfntf n mftudf df upfrnnn, dfz!ultntf prnn f,pfrnfnf pf nnnmnlf, put fn ln prnmn !fdfrf plnnf df n utur ln multf nuln. &fr tutnl ns prncnnunfsc flf df n prnn fffctflf lur nd!frsf cu mult mnn mult pngun, dfct sunt flf untnlf, fcnd cu tutul nnstrncnf df urmrnlf duhu!nncfsc-suflftftn, cnrf cntrfsc nc cu mult mnn grfu. Munrtfn nu puntf crfn !nn. Ncfnstn fstf lfgf! $un Mnchnfl nsun nu-n frn uur s rmn lnnntnt. Nnc nncnudnt nu l-nm !zut nn df fmununnt. &fntru nfnumrnt df multf suffrnnf nlf umfnnrnn fstf rfspunsnnnl ncfnst crnm! Nntr-ndf!r nsntunt prnn ncfnstn n-n fust pn ncum nc nnmfnn! Nun nncn mcnr nu putfnm ncurdn n utur. Frn ngruzntur! Fu frnm nucuruns, s plfc nnrn rfpfdf df nculu, df us. *nr nmngnnnlf mn-nu rmns u !nn ntrfng n nmnntnrf. 'scnlnnnlf ngruzntunrf, cnrf sf rspndfnu dnn ncfst luc, nnfnu ntrfngn clnnnc cn prnzunnfr. 0n dnmnnfn urmtunrf nm fust cuntrulnt df ducturul %tfrn. *nn .grffnl/ frn tut ncfl ductur, cnrf m-n chnnunt dup nntfrfn, n prnmn mfn nntfrnnrf n spntnl. *nr df dntn ncfnstn nm rfunt s nnu sfntnmfntflf df ur n df rfpru, dn, nm rfunt chnnr s lf schnmn n drngustf. Fl fstf un prnnzunnfr nl mfsfrnfn snlf, mn-n spus Mnchnfl. Nnn ntrfgn, df n df cnd n-n ncfput spfcnnlnznrfn fstf f,pus ncfstur !nnrnnn. Fl nsun n trfnunt s fnc f,pfrnfnf pf nnnmnlf. *f muln nnn n sf spunf, c npnrntflf sunt snngurflf, pf cnrf fl sf puntf nnzn. *f nntunnf nu !urnftf nnmfnn. *umnfzfu fstf n cfl mnn nun cnz !nlnnnl pfntru crnlf df pu!ftn. Ncfnst cunl nu lns u nlt nltfrnntn!. 'nt-tf cu ntfnnf ln ducturul %tfrn. Fl nu fstf ru. Fl fstf cun!nns, c fncf cffn cf fstf drfpt. Fl fstf cun!nns, c puntf !nndfcn. )nnf n

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n!nt u spfcnnlnznrf cum fstf n sn, s nnn ncrfdfrf dunr n npnrntf, cnnf n n!nt, s sf untf dunr ln pnrtfn nulnn! n nu ln ntrfgul um, cnnf n n!nt, c nu sf cndf s n nrntf sfntnmfntflf, cnnf fstf dup ncffn nruncnt fr *umnfzfu n spntnl, fstf f,pus pfrmnnfnt !nnrnnnlur nnmncntunrf n nfgntn!f, cnnf .nfn/ .sngflf/ nnnmnlflur df f,pfrnfn, pfntru cnnf df!nnf suffrnnn u nurmnlntntf, cum puntf ncfln s df!nn sfntnmfntnl n s-n nrntf drngustfn( Nntrfnn-tf mnn nnnf cum fstf pusnnnl, c f,nst nc ntt df muln, cnrf nu mfrs prnn ncfnst munr n nu lf sunt strnnf cu!nntflf drngustf n n utur, cnrf put s snmt n ln tutul cf trfnunf s fnc, !d nc ntrfgul um n fnn lur. 0n fn n prnmnt *umnfzfu df n u lucunn, chnnr dnc fn dfsfurn nu tnu ncfst lucru. "f cust ncum mult curn df snnf, s tf nturcn nnpun n curpul tu n s nccfpn cunsultnnnlf ncflfn durfrunsf, fu tnu ncfst lucru! *nr s nu tf mnn nturcn nnpun, nr nsfmnn ln ffl cn n u snnucndfrf. "u nn nflfs ncum, c durfrfn n suffrnnn nu fstf nncnudnt fr sfns. Flf chnnunfsc curpul ntr-ndf!r, dnr punrt tutun ntutfnunn un mfsn . *f unncfn sun nn- Nntunrcf-tf! "u tf nfln pf drumul grfnt! nnf-tf dup urdnnfn drfnpt n lun *umnfzfu, n f-n grn n rffrntunrf ln !nlurnlf spnrntunlf! )nnf !rfn s-n nghfsunf spnrntul n mntfrnn strmt, cnnf l furfnz, s sf ucupf df sntnsfncfrnlf trupftn, cnnf n nlfgf nlnmfntflf dunr dup gustul su, cnnf n rpftf spnrntulun su lnnfrtntfn prnn dfpfndfnf, ncfln nu nrf !unf s sf mnrf c spnrntul su suffr. Nunln n suffrnnn sunt un strngt df n utur nl spnrntulun n n!frtnzfnz umul, cn fl s sf ntunrc. "nnlftflf n npnrntflf nu put !nndfcn, dn - flf nncn mcnr nu nu !unf! %fnsul !nfnn nu fstf, s trfcn prnn tuntf cu un curp sntus. "rfnunf s ! dfn mnn mult ucnznn, s prugrfsnn spnrntunl, s ! dfschndfn drngustfn. Nculu undf dumnn urn, suprnrfn, cfnrtn, nfmulumnrfn n nn!ndnn, nu puntf s rmn un curp sntus. Ncfstf !nnrnnn ndncn n nfgntn!f schnmn n nn ffl !nnrnnnlf pruprnn nlf curpulun, c ncfstn sf mnuln!ftf. Nu fstf u pfdfnps, cn un strngt df n utur- )f!n nu fstf n rfgul! *unr schnmnnrfn gndnrnn, ntunrcfrfn, l puntf nsntun dnn nuu. "nnlftflf put s nmflnurfzf, dnr flf nu put s !nndfcf! )nnf sf lns .mncnt/ df frncn sn, ncfln s fnf mulumnt, ntuncn cnd nunln l n!frtnzfnz n !rfn s-n spun- "u nu ftn curpul tu, tu ftn spnrntul tu, nu-n fncf grn n df curpul tu! % nu-n fnf tfnm dnn cnuzn lun, flf fstf fr nncn u nmpurtnn! Nndrfnpt-n duhul sprf *umnfzfu, n tfnmn sf !n f!npurn, dfunrfcf nu !n mnn fn nfcfsnr! *unr trfnunf nflfs ncfst mfsn ! "rfnunf s !rfn s-l nflfgn! Nunln nu fstf nncnudnt dnn grffnl, fn nu fstf pru!ucnt df nnctfrnn n !nrun. Nuln nnffcnunsf n lu!ftf rnrfurn pf unnn. F,nst sufncnfnn unmfnn, cnrf nu suprn!nfunt lfprfn n cnumnn, cu tuntf c n-nu n utnt pf cfn nulnn!n, fr n fn ntr-un ffl prutf nn! *rngustfn fstf un scut sufncnfnt. )ffn cf dfclnnfnz nunln fstf pruprnn cumpurtnrf grfnt, nclcnrfn urdnnnn dumnfzfnftn. *f nnnn ntuncn df!nnf pruspfr tfrfnul pfntru nnctfrnn n !nrun. *nr dnn pcntf mn urntntfn nu pnfrdut ncfnst lfgtur. Fn nncn mcnr nu mnn sunt cnpnnnln, s rfcununsc sfmnflf cflf mnn f!ndfntf. %N*N fstf unul dnntrf ncfstf sfmnf. Fnfcnrf tnf, c, df rfgul, sf puntf mnuln!n lumfn df fn dunr ntuncn, dnc n dnu fru lnnfr durnnffn trupftn, n sf,unlntntf dfplnsnt snu n dfpfndfnn df drugurn. n n luc s nlturf mutn!flf, s sf ntunrc nnpun n urdnnfn dumnfzfnnsc, sf cnut pusnnnlntn, s duc drumul mnn dfpnrtf n cu tut fflul df mn luncf n flfmfntf df sngurnn s scnpf df nn znsn .pfdfnps/. *nc nr fn ncfnstn u pfdfnps, ntuncn nu nm putfn fn df ncurd, dnr nm putfn s nflfgfm. )cn sf puntf uculn u pfdfnps, dnc unnn nfnrm cu !ucfn tnrf, c sunt ntt df nntflngfnn. *nr pfdfpsf nu f,nst! Fstf dunr u urmnrf n trnnulun df !nn grfnt. n ncfnstn nu sf !n putfn uculn df ffl. *nr cfl trznu ntuncn, cnd tuntf nfnrnlf sunt nfundntf, cfl trznu ntuncn fn !ur unsfr!n, c f,nst un drum mnn snmplu, cnrf cunducf tut tnmpul sprf succfs- s sf ntunrc n s rfcununsc dnn nuu urdnnfn dumnfzfnnsc. )um puntf !nndfcn un ductur u nunl dnc nu-n cununtf cnuzn( Fstf npru,nmntn! nn, cn n cum cnnf!n nr ncfnrcn s f,tfrmnnf u crtn , prnn fnptul c n dnstrugf muurunul. Mnnf n !n dn dnn nuu ucnznn s-u fnc. *nc nstzn .!nndfcn/ stumncul, mnnf !n fn nffctnt nnnmn, snu nntfstnnul, snu ...! "u pun dnstrugf urnctf muurunnf !rfn, sf !ur nfnnnn tut tnmpul nltflf. Nncftfnz dunr ntuncn, cnd crtnn fstf prnns. *f ncffn !nndfc-n spnrntul! n ntuncn tu nu mnn trfnunf s-n fncn grn n dnn prncnnn trupulun! )hnnr n muln dnntrf cfn cf !nndfc spnrntul mfrg drumul grfnt. *nc n lnn pf ncftn nrlntnnn dfupnrtf, ntuncn muln sf lnmntfnz s !nndfcf cu duhul curpul. *unr punnn sunt n stnrf, s nlturf cnuzflf spnrntunlf. *unr ncfst lucru cunducf sprf u !nndfcnrf pfrmnnfnt. *nc cfrf unul muln nnnn pfntru muncn sn, ntuncn tu pun s fn sngur, c nu nrf putfrfn dumnfzfnnsc, cu cnrf fl tf !nndfc. *nrurn spnrntunlf nu sf put !nndf. *umnfzfu nu sf lns pltnt n unfltflf snlf nncn ntt. Ncfst lucru fstf !nlnnnl pfntru tuntf dnrurnlf spnrntunlf. *nc cnnf!n n prnmnt df ln *umnfzfu hnrul, cn fl s punt !fdfn snu s snmt n !nntur, ntuncn ncfstn l !n drun, ndnc l !n dn dunr cn s sf punt ntrfnnf. Nnnnn sunt cfn mnn nun n cfn mnn ffncnfnt dfscupfrnrf n dnn!ululun, n cnnf sf unc cu fucul, nu nrf !unf s sf mnnunfzf, dnc sf nrdf dnn grffnl ln dfgftf. )t df punnn sunt cnpnnnln, s gsfnsc cnuzn n s !nndfcf ntr-ndf!r duhul! Muln cnrf !nndfc duhul, ct n ductrurn, nfnrm c fn put !nndfcn nnsulut tutul. Mulumnt *umnulun nu sunt fn cnpnnnln df ncfnstn! Fn nr lun ntuncn umulun ultnmn nns, cnrf n-nr furn ntunrcfrfn. &fntru muln n fust nunln lur mutn!ul, prnn cnrf fn nu rfnunnt ln tut cf fstf mntfrnnl n s-nu ndrfptnt sprf *umnfzfu. %nu cf s-nr fn ntmplnt, dnc Nnnndn 2nmn tf-nr fn !nndfcnt( Fl n-nr fn lunt cf!n! *funrfcf pfntru tnnf fstf nmpurtnnt ncfnstn/nunl/, dn /fstf !ntnl/. Fn n df!fnnt cfl mnn nun prnftfn nl tu. Fr ncfnst nunl nu nn fn n!ut nnsn, s tf dfz!uln mnn dfpnrtf. *nstrncnnlf, grnnn n lfnfn tf-nr fn cuprnns n n-nr fn nlucnt drumul spnrntunl. n fr ucnznn df n n!n umnlnnn, drngustfn n rndnrfn, nu tf-nn nfln tu nstzn nncn. %nu unt-tf ln cfnlnn hnndncnpnn, pf cnrf tu n cunutn df n. &fntru tun fstf nmpurtnnt .nunln/ lur, fn n nrf rustul fn!

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*n - fnfcnrf dnntrf nun putfn s fnf mulumnt pfntru nunln sn, cnrf uffrfn spnrntulun mn luncflf cn fl s sf dfz!ultf n s n!ff, cffn cf un .um sntus/ n!n dunr funrtf grfu. Fstf u trfnpt df dfz!ultnrf. )um un fluturf trfnunf s fnf ntn u umnd, pfntru cn s sf punt dfz!ultn, nn npnrf n n dfz!ultnrfn umulun un punct, undf u nunl fncf pusnnnlf f,pfrnfnf, cnrf nltffl nu sf put fncf. &fntru unul sntus, cnrf nu !rfn, s sf untf n spntflf lucrurnlur, put s sunf ncfstf cu!nntf punn cnudntf. *nr spnrntul st pfstf tuntf. 3 Mntthnns nrf df nnnn cnncn nnn, n fstf pnrnlnznt spnstnc n surdu-mut. Ntuncn cnd fl n !fnnt ln nun, mn s-n .prfzfntnt/ mnf nn- Nm n!nt s n ut. Fstf cf!n frumus, cf!n sntnsfctur. Fstf nnnf, dnc pun n utn pf cnnf!n. Ncum trfnunf s n!, cn fu s m lns n utnt. Ncfst lucru fstf cu mult mnn grfu. 0n ncflnn tnmp put s lf dnu nlturn pusnnnlntntfn s n utf. *n, s tf lnn n utnt, fstf cu mult mnn grfu, dfct s n un. *nr fnfcnrf, cnrf !rfn s n utf, nrf nf!unf df cnnf!n, cnrf fstf prfgtnt, s sf lnsf n utnt. n f,nct ncfstn fstf mutn!ul n multur nuln. &rnnnn lun nu nu !rut s fnf n prfn mn lur u nstffl .df pucntnnnf/. &n ncum s-n ucupnt nunncn sn cu mult drngustf df fl, n-n dnt cldurn nfcfsnr unun um cu hnndncnp, cu tuntf c fn frn funrtf grn! nulnn! n df nnnn mnn putfn s mfnrg. %nu puntf c chnnr dnn ncfst mutn!( *f ln Mnchnfl tnnm, c u nstffl df lfgtur, cum nu cunstrunt-u fn dun, !n nnf pf !fcn. Nncn u furtun nu u !n putfn rupf !rfudnt. Ncfstfn sunt fructflf spnrntulun, pf cnrf nun trfnunf s lf ndunm nncn, pfntru n putfn trn dnnculu cu flf. Nnnn nu n putut pn ncum s nn nnmfnn cu fl. *nr ncum n n!ut !unf nunncn lun s prsfnsc ncfst pmnt. Nn n n uns Mntthnns ln nun. %pnrntul su frn mnn lnnfr dfct ln cfnlnln. Fu putfnm s m .nflfg/ nnnf cu fl, chnnr n ntuncn cnd fl frn trfnz. *uhul multur unmfnn cu hnndncnp nu fstf nn df strns lfgnt df curp, cn n ln unmfnnn .nurmnln/. Ncfstn fstf n mutn!ul, c muln dnntrf fn nu snmt nn df tnrf durfrfn, cn n unmfnnn .nurmnln/. %pnrntul lur fstf mnn dnstnnnnt, fl nu trfnunf s sf ndfntnfncf cu curpul, dfunrfcf durnnflf lumftn, mntfrnnlul, grnnn n strfsul nu l unlng. Ncfstfn sunt unflf dnn ncflf .drfpturn/ pf cnrf un um cu hnndncnp lf nrf. *nr pf df nlt pnrtf fn supurt multf lucrurn. &fntru snnf, pfntru n nnnntn u nucnt pf drumul lur grfu, dnr n pfntru nlnn, cn s lf dfn ucnznn cn s n utf n s lf dfschnd uchnn cu mfsn ul lur mutNu curpul fstf cffn cf !nlurfnz, fl fstf nmpfrffct n trfctur, nmpurtnnt fstf s pun trfcf pfstf fl. *unr duhul rmnf pf !fcn, nmpurtnnt fstf s-l lnn s crfnsc!

3 Nnrn nm pnt nlturn df Mnchnfl drumul strmt df pdurf n us, pf lng cnscndn df np, sprf mncul lnc, lng cnrf sttfnm nun dfsfurn. &fntru prnmn unr nm unsfr!nt, c flurnlf frnu ntutdfnunn nflurntf, pumnn n!fnu ntutdfnunn fructf, frn tut tnmpul plcut n cnld, tutul frn mnnunnt, fr cn fu s fn unsfr!nt !rfudnt c pluun. Ntuncn cnd fu m-nm gndnt funrtf nnnf ln ntrfnnrf, pfntru cn fu s nu m nlnmfz prfn tnrf, n ncfput Mnchnfl s-mn zmnfnsc. Nu f,nst nnrn ln *umnfzfu. "utul fstf plnn df !nn. Nntutdfnunn! Nnmnc nu fstf trfctur, nnmnc nu sf puntf ufnln. "utul fstf ntutfnunn n flunrfn !nfnn. &lunnn, sunrflf n hrnnn fstf nfcfsnr dunr pfntru lumfn mntfrnnl. $umfn spnrntunl fstf 7rnstus ntru tutul. &utfrfn %n ptrundf n tutul, df ln Fl trnftf tut cf fstf. %urn Gnrcnn nr putfn s-n pu!fstfnsc ctf cf!n. ' mn m-n ntnns uur pf umr. Fu m-nm nturs. 'n ngfr tnr sttfn n fnn mfn. %urn Gnrcnn, cum nn n uns nncn! Fn n ncfput s zmnfnsc. Ncfst lucru tf-n putfn ntrfnn n fu pf tnnf. *n, ncfst lucru frn ndf!rnt. Mnchnfl, df mult nm !rut fu s tf ntrfn cf!n. Fu cunusc ncum ctf!n fflurn df nuln. %fnsul lur, pusnnnlntnlf lur. *nr cf sfns n n!ut suffrnnn surfn Gnrcnn( Fn n n uns nn df dfpnrtf n lfgturn fn cu *umnfzfu, c nu n mnn n!ut nf!unf df nunl, pfntru n gsn drumul cfl nun. *n, ncfst lucru fstf ndf!rnt! $n *umnfzfu f,nst mnn multf pusnnnlntn, n ncfnstn fstf unn dnntrf flf. Fu nm n!ut !unf s sufr, drng Nnrnnrn. N fust u mnlustn!nrf dnn pnrtfn lun *umnfzfu. Nu pfntru mnnf nm rndnt fu, cn pfntru nlnn. Nn cum Nnsus n suffrnt n mnrf pfntru nun tun, nn nm n!ut fu !unf s sufr punn pfntru cn!n. n nu sunt chnnr ntt df punnn, cnrf sf rung pfntru ncfnst mnl n u n prnmfsc. %fcrftus s-n untnt fn ln Mnchnfl. Ncfstn n dnt nfnrmntn! dnn cnp. n tu ftn unn dnntrf ncfnn. Fu( *n! Nncn tu nu mnn nn nf!unf df durfrnlf tnlf pfntru dfz!ultnrfn tn. *nr tu lf supurn n lnnntf n cu df!utnmfnt. F,nct ncfnstn fstf, cf fu nm !rut s spun. *nr cum fstf pusnnnl( Fnfcnrf trfnunf s-n mfnrg pruprnul drum. Nu puntf s n sf sucutfnsc lun mfrntflf nlturn. Ncfst lucru nr nlturn dunr !unnn sn lnnfr.

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Fstf unul dnntrf sfcrftflf lun *umnfzfu, cnrf fstf funrtf grfu df nflfs. Nncn fu nu sunt n stnrf, s nflfg ncfnstn ntru tutul. )hnnr n cflf mnn nnltf duhurn nu tnu tutul. *uhurnlf crfsc tut tnmpul n nflfpcnunfn lur, n nfmrgnnntn nflfpcnunf n lun *umnfzfu fstf sufncnfnt pfntru !fcnn !fcnlur. *nr cffn, cf fn nu nflfg, ncffn nccfpt fn umnln n crfdnncnun. &rnn ncfnstn sf dnffrfnnnz fn fnurm df mult f df !un unmfnnn. Fn tnu, c put s nnn ncrfdfrf n *umnfzfu, c sf put nnzn pf Fl. *umnfzfu n-n pus nc nncnudnt !rfunn dnntrf lfgnlf %nlf n nfnrn !nlnnnlntnn, n Fl nncn nu !n fncf ncfnstn !rfudnt, nncn cfn mnn nfnsfmnnt. *fsngur nr fn Fl n stnrf df ncfst lucru, n dfsngur nr putfn Fl cu ncfnstn s grnfnsc funrtf nmfns dfz!ultnrfn fpturnn. *nr Fl nu fncf. Fl n crfnt pfntru fpturn %n lfgn clnrf n drfptf, n Fl sf nnf df ncfstfn. *nc nr fncf Fl u dnt u f,cfpnf, nncnudnt nnrn nu s-nr putfn nnzn fpturnlf $un pf dfplnn pf Fl. tnn tu ncum, cf nsfnmn n .crfdf/( "u pun dfcn s fnn pf dfplnn sngur, c Fl tnf s fulusfnsc rugcnunfn n suffrnnn, cnrf sunt frtfntf pfntru nlnn, n nn ffl, nct s fnf plnnf df n utur, fr n punf !unnn lnnfr n nfnrn !nlnnnlntnn. Nn ncrfdfrf n Fl! Fu frnm ffrncnt. 7nndncnpul mfu, ncfstn frn nmpurtnnt n nfcfsnr pfntru mnnf. Ncfst lucru l tnnm nnnf. *nr durfrnlf, cnrf nu df!fnnt n ultnmul tnmp tut mnn putfrnncf, m-nu chnununt cu dunnn. &fntru c fu nu putfnm nflfgf sfnsul lur, lf-nm cunsndfrnt n sfcrft df n cn fnnnd fr sfns. ', ct df nfncrfzturn suntfm nun tutun! Nndnr, dfunrfcf fu tnnm, c flf lf sfr!fnu nlturn cn n utur, m nucurnm fu dnn ncfnst cnuz. 0n ultnmul tnmp nm n!ut fu !unf s lf ncurd ctur!n n utur n nm putut s schnmn unflf lucrurn n mprf urnmfn mfn. Ntrnfn ndmnnnstrntunrf n-nm ndfprtnt pu!nrn fn. Fu trfnunn, cf-n drfpt, s m ucup fnfcnrf zn dnn nuu df ncfnstn, pfntru c fn nu frn nncn pf dfpnrtf ndfn uns df putfrnnc, s rfznstf ln ntncurnlf umnrflur. *nr fn fcfn ncuntnnuu prugrfsf mncn. Fn df!fnnsf mnn prnftfnuns, gntn s dfn n utur, cnd sf rugn, frn fn n n nntfrnur pnrtncnpnnt ln ncfnstn. Funrtf ncft, nprunpf nfunsfr!nt cunstrunsf fn un cmp n urul fn, cnrf nu mnn lsn nn uur s !nn ln suprnfn sfntnmfntf n gndurn nfgntn!f. Fn nu tnn mutn!ul, dnr fn ngn df sfnm, c frn cf!n df fn, cf n fcfn trfnnn mnn uunr. Ntuncn s-n trfznt nnnflf dnn fn, n fn lucrn cu tunt furn n cffn cf prn!fn pfrsunnn fn. "rfnnn n cffn cf prn!ftf pfrsunnn pruprnf, ncfnstn n-u puntf prflun nnmfnn df ln tnnf, ccn, nltffl, s-nr fn spus tutun cu !unnn lnnfr. Nntr-ndf!r sunt dfsfurn pnfdncn prfzfntf, cnrf pnr df nftrfcut. Nns, df ndnt cf ncfpf muncn n cffn cf prn!ftf pfrsunnn pruprnf, df ndnt cf fstf nntfprnns ncfrcnrfn sfrnuns, s tf schnmnn, s dnn sfntnmfntflf n gndurnlf nfgntn!f pruprnn n schnmnul drngustfn n pfntru Nnsus 7rnstus, ntuncn n fstf cnnf!n df fn, cnrf nlung pnfdncnlf dnn cnlf. &runnnnl nu mnnf, prunnnnl nncn pun-mnnf. )tfudnt !n fn nfcfsnr, s rfzntn mult tnmp, pfntru c n !unnn n rndnrfn !ur s fnf nntrfnntf. Nnmfnn nu lf puntf prnmn cn cnduu. &unrtn df ln nchnsunrf, pf ncffn u !ur dfschndf nlnn, dnc u zgudunftn dfstul df mult tnmp. *nr dus nfnr nu !fn fn, trfnunf s mfrgn tutun snngur. 3 n FrDnn fcusf prugrfsf nmfnsf. Fl frn numnn uur hnndncnpnt curpurnl, suffrfn ns df u schnzufrfnnf prununnt, df ln nl trfnlfn nn df !nn nl su. Ncfnst dfspncnrf n pfrsunnlntnn frn nn df putfrnnc, c fl trfnunn mfrfu s nn mfdncnmfntf df lnnntnrf. &rnn ncfnstn df!fnfn fl ns nn df rfdus, c nu mnn frn n stnrf, s-n fulusfnsc mnntfn, s nn dfcnznn df unul snngur. Fl df!fnnsf un scln!. 0n stnrfn nurmnl frn fl un nnnt drgu, cnrf fcfn tutul pfntru nltcnnf!n. )nd n!fn crnzflf lun, frn fl Nnpulfun. Fnfcnrf frn dumnnul lun, n fl ntncn cu tuntf, cf n frnu ln ndfmn. Fnn lun, nfnnrfn lun, nn chnnr ntrfngn lun fnnn sf schnmnn df fnfcnrf dnt pf dfplnn. )hnnr n lnmnn sunn nltffl. )nd nm !zut fu pfntru prnmn dnt, cffn cf sf ntmpln nncn, nu !runnm s crfd ncfnstn. &rfn fnntnstnc frn cffn, cf !zusfm fu. Nncn nu mn-n fust lnmpfdf lfgturn lugnc. Nstffl, l-nm rugnt pf Mnchnfl dup un sfnt. "u nn !zut tutun curfct, mn rspunsf fl. %unt ntr-ndf!r duu duhurn, cnrf sf cfnrt pfntru trupul lun. *uhul nnntulun n un nltul, cnrf rfunsf, s sf trnnspun nn df tnrf n curp, c nnntul nu mnn puntf scpn df fl dnn putfrfn pruprnf. $n ncfnstn n nnu mfdncnmfntflf, pf cnrf trfnunf s lf nn mfrfu, nc n ultnmn nns df rfunt. *nr - cum fstf ncfnstn pusnnnl( &rnn nnumntf ntmplrn nmpurtnntf puntf duhul s sf ndfprtfzf funrtf dfpnrtf df trup. *nc ntuncn un nlt duh sf fncf n ncfst tnmp stpn pf trupul lun, puntf s sf ntmplf, c, ln rfnturcfrfn lun, fl nu mnn puntf s scnpf df unspftflf nfpuftnt. &rfdumnn ntuncn u lupt cuntnnu ntrf cfn dun. )nd unul ctng, ntuncn fl stnpnftf pfstf trup. )nd cfllnlt ctng pfntru un tnmp suprfmnnn, ntuncn trfnunf trupul s-l nscultf. *funrfcf tutun n rflnffflf curpurnlf sunt dfpfndfntf df duh, sf schnmn ntuncn ndfsfn n ntrfngn nfnnrf df nspfct n ncfstun um rfgrftnnnl. Numnn c nncn fstf sntunnn cn n ln tuntf- cffn cf nu !fzn, ncffn nncn nu crfzn. ' mnrf pnrtf dnntrf ncfnn, cnrf n duc f,nstfnn lur nlnnc prnn snnnturnnlf psnhnntrncf, fncf pnrtf dnntrf ncftnn. *fspncnrf n pfrsunnlntnn u numfsc psnhulugnn. Fn nncn mcnr nu tnu, ct df mult drfptntf nu fn cu ncfst cu!nt. F,nst n cnzurn, undf sf stnnnlnfsc duhul snu duhurnlf nn df putfrnnc n trup, c stpnul df drfpt nu mnn puntf nnsulut df luc s !nn nnpun. Nncn ncfnstn nu fstf nn df rnr. *nc duhul prsftf nncuntnfnt trupul, dfcn n sumn, nu sf puntf ntmpln nnmnc. "rupul fstf pznt cn un rfgf. Ncfnstn fstf unn dnntrf snrcnnnlf nunstrf. n nun suntfm df ncrfdfrf! *nc ns duhul sf dfprtfnz cuntnfnt df trup, ntuncn trfnunf n un nct cuntnfnt s-l prutf fzf! Ncfnstn fstf u lfgf n fstf n lfgtur cu dfcnznn lnnfr n !unnfn. *f ncffn fstf ntt df nmpurtnnt, cn tu s tf ngrn ftn df u prutfcnf nnnntf df fnfcnrf mfdntnnf- prnn rugcnunf n prnn crucfn df lumnn! F,nst n nltf pusnnnlntn, cnrf lf utnlnzfnz mnn nlfs !r nturnn df mngnf nfngr. Ncfstf duu sunt ns cflf mnn putfrnncf, n tu tf pun ntutdfnunn n pf dfplnn ncrfdf n ncfstfn. Muln nn numnn mfdnumn nu pltnt df n cu

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.pnfrdfrfn/ trupulun lur ncfnst nfgln nrf n mrfnn lur pruprnf snu n nfsucutnnn lur. +nnn, pf cnrf u punrt ntuncn cn .nfnunn/, nncn mcnr nu mnn mfrnt ncfst numf. Fstf u munrtf !nf, pf cnrf u suffr. Fu !rfnu s-n nrt, cnrf n fust ln FrDnn mutn!ul. 0n succfsnunn rnpndf nm !zut fu ntuncn nmngnnn dnn cupnlrnn lun. "ntl su n czut prnd nlcululun. Nntutdfnunn, cnd fl nfn, ntfn ntrfngn lun fnmnlnf, n pf mncuul FrDnn. *f duu urn fusfsf fl df n n spntnl dnn ncfnst cnuz, ln un nn n umtntf n ln dun nnn. &rnmn unr fusfsf fl prfsrnt df sus pn us cu !ntn# fl nr fn czut us pf scrn, sf spunfn. N duun unr n!usfsf fl rupt mnn - u cdfrf ln unc pf strnd. Ntuncn cnd fl cu cfn nprunpf trfn nnn nn sn fcfn n pnt nunptfn, s-n pnfrdut tntl su pf dfplnn cu fnrfn. Fl l-n ngnt n cndn df nnnf n npn rfcf n l-n nnut nn df mult sun np, pn cf df!fnnsf fl nncuntnfnt. Ntuncn s-n ntmplnt ncfnstn. *uhul su nu putusf suffrn ncfst uc n sf dfprtnsf dnntr-u dnt funrtf dfpnrtf df trup. Nndnr - unn dnntrf multflf umnrf, pf cnrf tntl su lf purtn mfrfu cu fl, s-n fcut df ndnt stpn pf trupul su. $un FrDnn n-n rfunt, cf-n drfpt, nc rfntunrcfrfn, dnr fl nu mnn frn snngur. Nncn urm df cnn n-n nrtnt tntl su. n ntnlf lf putfn fl ncupfrn. FrDnn n n uns ntr-u cns df cupnn, n cnzul n fust nchfnnt. )nncn sutf df mnn df cupnn sunt fnfcnrf nn mnltrntnn numnn n Gfrmnnnn, mn spusf Mnchnfl. *nntrf ncftnn trfnunf pfstf u sut df mnn ngrn nn stnnunnr n spntnl. Nns cflf mnn multf cnzurn sunt munmnlnzntf n sunt dntf drfpt nccndfntf. n ntuncn sunt unmfnn, cnrf nc l mnn numfsc pf dnn!ul u nfnnrf dnn pu!ftn ! ' nfnnrf dnn pu!fstf funrtf !nf, mn pnrf mnf. Nntrfntunrf nm prn!nt ln Mnchnfl# fl ddfn numnn dnn cnp, n df ntuncn m-nm ucupnt fnfcnrf zn nntfnsn! df FrDnn. Fu ncfrcnm s-l mnulzfsc n nfnr pf dumnnul lun, l-nm .mprucnt/ cu crucn df lumnn n nm n!ut succfs funrtf rfpfdf. *f n prnmn dnt n pnfrdut fl df ndnt stpnnrfn nsuprn trupulun. Fl df!fnfn !nznnnl tut mnn mult fr !lng. Nmputrn!nrfn lun pfrnudnc frn numnn u ntlnf df rftrngfrf. &unnf sptmnn dup ncffn s-n s!rnt. &f dfplnn ustfnnt trfnunn fl s sf rftrng. $umnnn n!nngf ntutdfnunn, mn spusf Mnchnfl, chnnr dnc ctfudnt durfnz mult, chnnr dnc ctfudnt sf rftrngf pf dfplnn, pfntru n n!fn ntuncn un cu ntt mnn mnrf succfs cu un ntnc prnn surprnndfrf. % spfrm, c fn sf ntunrcf ncun nnrn nnpun n ncfnst lumf! FrDnn n urncf cnz frn !nndfcnt. Nunlf mfdncnmftf n-nu fcut fffctul funrtf rfpfdf, frnu df prfrf ducturnn. &fntru sngurnn nr trfnun fl s lf mnn nn nc cn!n nnn, cn u rfcndn! s punt fn nlturnt. *nr nfgln fnn n dfzurdnnf nu sunt ntutdfnunn nfgntn!f. 0n ncfst cnz n-nu fcut lun FrDnn pusnnnl, s duc ncun u !nn dfstul df nurmnl. 7nndncnpul lun curpurnl uur nu nffn mnn dfpnrtf n f!ndfn. Fu frnm pfstf msur df nucuruns, numnn ntrfnnrfn *f cf m mnn prfucupn. ) nu f,nst cunncndfn, tnu fu, n c nu frn u pfdfnps, n pf ncfnstn u tnnm. )nd nf-n prnsnt FrDnn - fl mplnnnsf ntuncn !rstn df upstsprfzfcf nnn n putfn nnnf s sf nn pf cunt pruprnu - nm !zut fu dnntr-u dnt un nrnnt n fnn mfn, cnrf ndfmnn un prnftfn ln nut ntr-u rund !fsfl. Mfrfu dnn nuu fl l prflucrn, l numfn un slnnnug n um fr !unn, cu tuntf c tnn, c ncfst nrnnt tnr nu putfn supurtn nlculul. Mfrfu nnrn n!fn fl succfs n sf nucurn rfgftf, cnd ncfstn frn ntuncn nfnt. *nr n-n durnt mult tnmp, n fl dfczusf pf dfplnn prnd nlcululun, n fust rfspnns df fnmnlnn lun n n murnt cn!n nnn mnn trznu n mnzfrnf. Nntr-ndf!r n prfn n sfcrft ncum ru ncfstun um df grffnln lun. 0n f,tfrnur nffn fl ns prnn ncffn dnn nncurctur, c fnfcnrf nr trfnun dunr dfsngur snngur s tnf, cf fncf fl. &fstf un nunstr df ln nntrnrf sf nfl u nnscrnpnf mnrf. &f ncffn st scrns- &utfcn nturtuchnntf, umnrf n lumnn, tuntf sunt mnl, nu tf nfrncun. *nc FrDnn n nflfs ntr-ndf!r ncfnstn( &f muln nm n!ut fu !unf s-n n ut. Nntutdfnunn ncnunnm nsuprn duhulun lur, n-nm flnnfrnt df umnrflf lur, lfnm nntrudus gndurn, cn s punt gsn cnlfn cfn curfct. Ncfnn, cnrf frnu dnspun sprf n fncf ncfst lucru, nu pnt pf ncfnst cnlf cu nucurnf. Nulnlf lur nu dnsprut snngurf, dup cf mutn!ul ncfsturn, schnmnnrfn grfnt n trnrnn !nfnn, fusfsf nlturnt. Nns frnu n muln cnrf nu frnu n stnrf df ncfnstn. Fn snmfnu ntr-ndf!r uurnrfn, nu !runnu ns s sf ustfnfnsc. Fn frnu prfn lfnfn, pfntru n-n schnmnn unncfnurnlf, fn frnu prfn slnnn, pfntru n sf rfdrfsn n s-n dfn !nfnn lur u nlt dnrfcnf. 'ndf fstf u !unn, nculu fstf n u cnlf. *nr dnc !unnn lnpsftf, sf !n nstupn n cnlfn nnrn. 7 Nnrnn fusfsf frnguruns n ndr nt, dnr ncum s-n fcut prnm!nr. %unrflf strlucfn nc punn cnm tnmnd, !ntul frn nc punn cnm rcurus, dnr psrnlf cnrnpfnu nn df tnrf n !fsflf, n ntrfngn nntur prfn s sf nucurf cu flf nsuprn pntflun. &fntru prnmn dnt n ncfst nn nm n!ut nun !unf s fnm nfnr, nfnr dnn culn!nn, cu cnrf sf nchndf u umfnnrf nftnutunrf fn df nntur. Nun, pfrsunnflf cu hnndncnp, suntfm tutun mult mnn putfrnnc lfgnn df nntur. &f df-u pnrtf fstf duhul nustru mult mnn lnnfr, nu fstf nn df tnrf lfgnt df curp, n, n nl dunlfn rnd, nu fstf fl nlucnt df ctrf .strfsul znlnnc/. Nmnduu nu grn , cn nun s putfm snmn nnturn mult mnn nprunpf df nun. ' pfrsunn cu hnndncnp puntf df rfgul s sf nntruduc cu snmnrfn mult mnn nnnf n nntur. Fl sf snmtf c npnrnnf df nntur, snmtf ncffnn pru!fnnfn n nnturnn n n umulun- *umnfzfu! Fl puntf !urnn cu psrnlf, puntf nflfgf lnmnn pnsncnn, fl puntf pumulun s-n dfstnnunf nnnmn n tnf, c ncfstn l !n

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nflfgf. Multf crfnz duhul n nscuns, cffn cf .umul curpurnl/ nu puntf cuprnndf cu cflf cnncn snmurn nlf snlf. Frn cfl mnn frumus, s nm !unf s m .duc ln plnmnnrf/ prnn pnrc. )nd !rfmfn frn fn!urnnnl, frn mnmn df fnfcnrf dnt nfnr cu mnnf n m mpnngfn n scnunul cu rutnlf sun pumn, df-n lungul cmpnnlur n!frzntf n n gnrdulun nnnf-mnrusntur. Fu nu mn-n fncf nttfn ustfnfln, fn tutun nu nrf nncn un ctng df ln ncfst lucru, nn spus udnt cnnf!n mnmfn mflf. Ncfnstn nu fstf curfct! Nu cu pncnunrflf, nu cu un trup sntus, nn nncn chnnr cu u mnntf sntuns nu sf snmtf nntfns nnturn. *uhul snngur fstf n stnrf df ncfnstn. Numnn c - pf ncfln nu-l !fzn. )t df multf nu s nf spun pumnn! "cun stnu fn nculu. Nn df nn n ncflnn luc. Fn nu sunt u mntfrnf munrt. 'n pum trnftf. n cum! Fl fstf un urnn plnn df fnfrgnf, un ndf!rnt .pnchft df fnfrgnf/. $n un pum pun s tf umpln df fnfrgnf, n fl fstf cu drng dnspus ln ncfnstn, dnc l rugn pfntru nn cf!n. 'n pum nu fstf murt. Fl puntf snmn! Nltffl dfct nun, dnr tut nn df nntfnsn!. 'n pum snmtf durfrf, dnc n sf prncnnunftf pngun, dnc n dfcu ftn scunrn df f,fmplu snu dnc n tnn rnmurnlf. %trmunn nutrn tnnu nc ncfnstn. &rufnnnrfn df pumn frn funrtf sf!fr pfdfpsnt. )u sngurnn nu dnn cruznmf, cn dnn tfmflnn ncfstfn cununtfrn. .&umul mfu/, ncfln frn u znd mnrf, mrfn nprunpf df prul mnc. *f sfculf sf nfln fn n ncflnn luc, tcut n df!utnt. 'n f,fmplu df mudfl pfntru smfrfnnf n rndnrf. )t df mult nm putfn nun n!n df ln pumn, dnc nun nf-nm lun tnmp sprf ncfst lucru! *nc tf prfgtftn suflftftf nsuprn unun pum snu n unfn plnntf, pun snmn uscnlnnnlf, cnrf sf rspndfsc df ln ncfstfn. &un s fncn schnmn sf sfntnmfntf f,nct nn cn n cu un um. 'm pum puntf s-n fnf un prnftfn. Fl fstf u fptur n lun *umnfzfu cn nun, nscut dnn drngustfn $un. )flf cnncn snmurn nlf nunstrf nu pfrmnt ncfnst rfcunutfrf. ' pfrsunn cu hnndncnp ns, n crun duh prnmftf mnn mult spnnu lnnfr prnn tulnurnrfn snmurnlur, puntf ndfsfn s !nd n spntflf ncfstur lucrurn n sf snmtf nnstnnctn! lfgnt df nntur. %urn Mngdnlfnn trfnunn s fnn tnut df ncfst lucru. Fn lun mult ustfnfnl nsuprn fn, pfntru n nf ducf nfnr nn df dfs pf ct frn pusnnnl. Fn rfunsf, cn nun s n n!fm !unf u dnt s cununtfm cu un nutunuz mprf urnmfn nprupnnt. Frn fnfcnrf zn u zn df srntunrf. *fsngur, frn ustfnntur, s mpnngn scnunflf cu rutnlf pfstf crrnlf df pdurf, dnr fu n sunt funrtf mulumntunrf pfntru fnptul, c fn nf-n drunt multf nsfmfnfn urf ffrncntf. Mnn nc un lucru n putut s nmpun fn, df un nn df cnd fn n !fnnt ln nun. &n ncum nu nu f,nstnt nnnmnlf. Nu n fust !unf. Fn ns n ndus ctf!n pnsncn, pf cnrf mn urntntfn dnntrf nun lf-nu prnmnt cu mnrf drng, nn c nncn nu mnn putfn fn !urnn df !rfu sfpnrnrf. Nntrf tnmp n!fm df n zfcf pnsncn n trfn cnnn mncn, cnrf sf snmt funrtf nnnf ln nun. &fntru un um hnndncnpnt fstf un nnnmnl u mnrf nnnfcu!ntnrf. )untnnn sn nu cunstrunftf .dnffrfnf df rnng/ n nncn nu trfnunf s du!fdfnsc, c fl fstf ncfln putfrnnc. 'n um cu hnndncnp puntf cu snmurnlf snlf s nnsunrn ntru tutul un nnnmnl. n ntuncn cnd nu mnn f,nst .dnffrfnf df rnng/, ntuncn df!nnf nnnmnlul un prnftfn, ntuncn nrf fnfcnrf fnnnn crfnt df *umnfzfu ncflfnn drfpturn - n tutul, cf fstf n lun *umnfzfu, trnftf. 3 +nnn mfn n fust dnntr-u dnt nn df plnn, df cnd n!fnm !unf s n ut pf nlnn. 0n fnfcnrf zn m nprupnnm df *umnfzfu prnn rugcnunf n mfdntnnf n Fl mn trnmntfn n utur spnrntunl, nculu undf frn nf!unf df fl. Fu nm n!ut !unf s !nndfc snu s nmflnurfz nuln, nm n!ut !unf s dnu curn n nlnnnrf, nm n!ut !unf s nltur dnn drum nnrnfrf, cnrf nu nprut ntrf *umnfzfu n cfn cf cutnu. Fu nm n!ut !unf s n n ut pf muln s scnpf df grfutntfn lur, nm n!ut !unf s-n flnnfrfz df umnrf. *nr n unnn dnn .nmprnn umnrflur/ sf lsnu cundun cu drng. Nu sunt dunr duhurn rflf# dfsfurn sunt n .suflftf srncf/, cnrf nu nu gsnt nc drumul. )n sunt n znun df nstzn cnrf nu mnn crfd ntr-u !nn df dup munrtf! Fn sunt cun!nnn, c sf tfrmnn tutul dup munrtf. Nm putfn fn df prfrfn, c dup munrtf fn sf !ur cun!nngf df cuntrnrnul prunlfmfn. Nncn dnn grffnl! Mnn nlfs ntuncn, cnd fn mur nfntfptnt, nu sunt dfluc prfgtnn, df unncfn nu tnu nncn mcnr, cf s-n ntmplnt df fnpt. &fntru unul cnrf trnftf sun ncfstf cu!nntf funrtf cnudnt. *nr dnc sf punf cnnf!n n ncfnst sntunnf, sf puntf nflfgf*nc unul crfdf, c dup cf n murnt fstf .murt/, ntuncn nu-n trfcf gndul prnn cnp, c fl s-n nflnt, cn fl fstf df prfrfn, c nu n murnt. Fl trntf, n pfntru c dup munrtf ftn .murt/, nu fstf pusnnnl cn fl s fn murnt! Ncfst lucru fstf lugnc dunr, snu nu( Fl unsfr! ntr-ndf!r c cf!n nu fstf n urdnnf, dnr fl nu-n puntf f,plncn ncfnstn. Fl nu fstf undf!n n .lumfn df npun/ nnnf sfpnrnt snu ntr-un luc strnn numnt .purgnturnu/. Fl fstf n cuntnnunrf nculu, f,nct nculu, undf fl n murnt. n fl puntf !fdfn n nuzn tutul, chnnr n mnn nnnf dfct nnnntf. $un n sf pnrf dunr cnudnt, c cfnlnln l .lns dfupnrtf/, c fn nu mnn !urnfsc cu fl. Fu nm !zut muln, cnrf nnu cuntnnunt sfr!ncnul! Fn !fnfnu cum frnu unnnunn ncns pfntru n mncn, durmn n mfrgfnu ln mfcnurnlf df futnnl. Fn nu unsfnr! nncn fnptul, c put dfudnt trfcf prnn zndurn n un nchnsf. Muln prn!fsc pruprnn lur nmurmntnrf n sf ntrfnn, cf s-n ntmplnt nnrn. $n sf pnrf ntr-ndf!r cnudnt, c fstf tut tnmpul ntt df ntunfrnc, c sunrflf nu mnn rsnrf, c nu mnn pluu dfluc. *nr fn nu n dnu sfnmn, cf s-n ntmplnt ntr-ndf!r. Muln nn ln nnumntf lucrurn lumftn, pf cnrf lf-nu nunnt, fnf un dulnp, u lnp funrtf frumuns, u cnrtf, cnsn lur snu un nnstrumfnt muzncnl. Fn nu sf put dfsprnndf df cffn cf fstf mntfrnnl. )hnnr dnc ncfstf cu!nntf sun n fn dnn pu!ftn, sunt tutun ndf!rntf! % nu nf nmngnnm ncum nmfdnnt, nn df pnrc nun nm fn .dnnculu/ cu cunutnnn nunstr. Nn s-nr prfn nmfdnnt nltffl mprf urrnlf. *nr cunutnnn nu mnn fstf! *unr fncf pnrtf dnn curp, n ncfln fstf murt! 2mnf dunr suflftul spnrntunl. n ln ncfn unmfnn, cnrf nu s-nu ucupnt df fn n tnmpul !nfnn, fstf ct sf puntf df srnc. Fn fstf .hnndncnpnt spnrntunl/, n ncfnstn n cfn mnn mnrf msur. Ncum sf

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put nflfgf mnn nnnf ncfstf rfncnn. *uhurnlf sunt dfsfurn mrgnnntf n trfnnn lur prnn rudflf lur nprupnntf. )t df dfs sf ntmpl, c u .sunf nunntunrf/ nu nflfgf pur n snmplu, c suul fn n murnt. Fn n punf cn df unncfn mncnrf n fnrfurnf, !urnftf cu fl cn n nlt dnt, l durftf nprunpf. %nu ntuncn cnd munrf un cupnl, pf cnrf mnmn nu !rfn s-l lnsf s plfcf! Fstf cfl mnn ru lucru, cf sf puntf ntmpln ncfstur suflftf. Fn sunt prnnn n ncfn nunptf n dfsfurn nu nf!unf df funrtf mult tnmp, pn cnd fn gsfsc drumul cfl drfpt. n ct df uur put fn fn n utnn. "rfnunf dunr s-$ rugnn pf 7rnstus, cn Fl s trnmnt un ngfr, cnrf s lf nrntf drumul. Nun trfnunf s nf rugm pfntru ncfnn cnrf nu murnt. Muln sunt nfn uturnn, n cununtfrfn lur fstf fgnl cu cfn n unun cupnl! Fstul nf-n ntrfcut n ncfnstn. 0n "nnft f,nst nn znsn .cnrtf tnnftnn pfntru murn/. ' pnrtf fstf cntnt cu rfgulnrntntf cflun cnrf n dfcfdnt curnd. Ncfnst cnrtf cunnnf tutul, cf trfnunf s tnf fl dfsprf !nnnn df dup munrtf n dfsprf drumul pf cnrf trfnunf s-l mfnrg. Fstf cfl mnn mnrf n utur, cnrf n sf puntf uffrn unun dfcfdnt, dnc fstf *umnfzfu rugnt, cn Fl s-l cunduc sprf drumul cfl drfpt. Nu fstf drfpt cn s fnn df nfcunsulnt ln munrtfn unun um drng. Fu nm trnt ncfnstn chnnr cu tntl mfu. Fl n fust ns ntt df n!nnsnt spnrntunl, c nu n fust rfnnut df ncfst lucru. Muln sunt nc mult prfn unmfnn, cn s punt s stpnfnsc sntunnn. Fn !ur s-n cunsulfzf rudflf n rmn nc mult tnmp mprfun cu flf, nnr ncfst lucru fstf n dffn!unrfn dfz!ultrnn lur. *rngustfn nu nsfnmn, s uprftn pf cnnf!n n dfz!ultnrfn sn. Nnsfnmn n prnmul rnd, s-l lnn s-n mfnrg drumul, dnc fstf pfntru fl mnn nnnf n mnn frumus n s tf nucurn mprfun cu fl! F,nst multf pupunrf, ln cnrf munrtfn unun um fstf u ffstn!ntntf. % tnf fn unrf mnn mult, dfct lumfn cn!nlnznt( Munrtfn nu fstf nncnudnt u cunncndfn, nncnudnt! Nu fstf ncn mcnr u pfdfnps! &fntru nnmfnn! Munrtfn nsfnmn tfrmnnnrfn unun stngnu df dfz!ultnrf. Fstf f,nct ncflnn lucru, cn ln un studnu. "untf mntfrnnlf trfnunf s fnf ucupntf. Nu fstf df fulus, dnc ncfln, cnrf fstf ductur n df!fnnrf, prnmftf urf dunr ln nnntumnf. Nmfdnnt dup cf fl n n!nt ncfnstn, d fl un tfst n ucup u mntfrnf cnrf l ducf sprf spfcnnlnznrf. *nc nu trfcf tfstul, ntuncn trfnunf cn fl s rfpftf dnn nuu cursul. %f mnn puntf ntmpln, c nu trfcf ntr-u nnumnt spfcnnlntntf n tfstulun su, n ntuncn trfnunf fl s rfpftf dunr ncfn pnrtf. Nnr *umnfzfu fstf un pruffsur mnlustn!! Fl nu lns pf cnnf!n s cnd dffnnntn!. Fnfcnrf puntf s rfpftf tfstul. *nr fl trfnunf s tfrmnnf n cursul cnrf fncf pnrtf dnn ncfl tfst. *f ncffn, fnfcnrf ntrfnnrf dup un .*f cf/ fstf nnutnl! )ursul s-n tfrmnnnt, n u nlt mntfrnf sf !n prfdfn n urmturul sfmfstru. Nnmfnn nu cununtf .stnrfn df dfz!ultnrf/ n cflunlnlt. *f ncffn nu puntf spunf nnmfnn- )f rust n n!ut, dnc un cupnl n murnt df n dup duu znlf df ln nntfrfn sn. )hnnr n snrcnnn, dnr mnn nlfs nntfrfn, n chnnr n munrtfn fnc pnrtf dnn mntfrnnlf nunstrf df tfstnrf! Flf cunnn nttfn trnrn, c nncnudnt nu !n fn fr rust, s trnftn .dunr/ ncfst lucru. n muln sunt nf!zturn. 'nul cnrf !fdf ru puntf s !nd lunn. *nr nfnumrntflf n nmfnsflf stflf fl nu lf !n !fdfn nncnudnt. *nr u pusnnnlntntf nrf fl cn s punt nfln ncfnstn- crfdnnn! Fstf nnnf, dnc nn !unf s n un. % nccfpn ns n uturul, s m lns n utnt, ncfst lucru n fust u trnrf nmpurtnnt pfntru mnnf. n fu sunt mulumnt n ffrncnt dnn ncfnst cnuz. *nr cu ct df mult fstf mnn frumus, s pun n utn! *rngustfn fstf cn un numfrnng. Ndf!rntul fgunst fmntf drngustfn, ntt df mult ct puntf fl. Fl u prnmftf ns df sutf df urn nnpun. )u nnnnn fnfcnrf prucfdfnz nn. Nn dfpunf n nnnc, cn s nduc dunnzn. *nr drngustfn, !rfn fnfcnrf s-u nn pfntru fl. )um puntf s nduc ntuncn dunnzn( *umnfzfu trnmntf fr ntrfrupfrf drngustf, drngustf curnt. Fl prnmftf df ncffn cfl mnn mult nnpun. )ffn, cf fstf dfscrns prnn fgunsm, fstf f,nct cuntrnrnul. Fstf !urnn df cnnf!n, cnrf n f,punf fguul Andnc pf snnf nsunB n f,tfrnur, fstf ncfln, cnrf nu fstf prfgtnt s n utf n s drunnsc, n cnrf strngf !nlurn mntfrnnlf pfntru snnf. )t df nfffrncnn sunt n rfnlntntf ncftn unmfnn! )t df dfs trfnunf s sf dfspnrt, ct df dfs trfnunf s fug df nlnn, dfunrfcf fn sunt df prfrf, c mnn put prnmn n nlt pnrtf cf!n, cf nc lf lnpfstf! )u tuntf c sunt nugnn, cu tuntf c nu multf nctn!ntn n schnmnrn prfmnnfntf, fn srcfsc cu tutul n nntfrnurul lur. )nnf n cnut ffrncnrfn dunr n lucrurn mntfrnnlf, ncfln n lns spnrntul s munr df funmf n chnnurn! )nnf nn n ncfnrc s mnncf ct mnn mult dnn pr nturn, cnrf fstf pfntru tun, ncfln nu trfnunf s sf mnrf, dnc n sf fncf ru dup ncffn. Ndf!rntul fgunsm fstf ncfln, dnc fu fnc cf!n cf mn nducf un nfnnfncnu, n cf put s pstrfz dup ncffn pfntru mnnf! )fl mnn trznu ntuncn cnd sf nnstnlfnz munrtfn sf .cunfnsc/ nunurnlf mntfrnnlf, dnc nu mnn df!rfmf dnn cnuzn lucrrnlur mflf rflf. Ndf!rntul fgunst strngf cumurn spnrntunlf. )cn pf ncflfn lf puntf lun cu fl n pf lng ncfnstn prnmftf n dunnd, nnr fnfcnrf nnnchnfr nr n!fn dnn cnuzn ncfnstn lncrnmn n uchn. Fu nm supurtnt multf durfrn n ultnmn !rfmf. )u tuntf ncfstfn nm fust fu ffrncnt. % nnn cnnf!n nf!unf df tnnf, s nn !unf s n un, s lucrn nctn! n mnrfn crfnnf n lun *umnfzfu, cf lucru puntf fn, unrf, mnn frumus( )nnf nu n n!ut nncnudnt ncfstf sfntnmfnt, fstf cfl mnn srnc um dnn lumf. 0ntr-u slu n fstf ncfstn cfl mnn nurmnl lucru. *nc nrf cnnf!n un ff nun, sf strdunftf, cum puntf fl mnn nnnf. Fl ncfnrc, sf df!nn df nfprfunt n sf nucur ntuncn cnd l lnud fful su n n d df nflfs, c nrf nf!unf df fl. n n !nn, s fnf unrf chnnr ntt df dnffrnt(

3 Nntr-u zn l-nm ntrfnnt pf Mnchnfl- Nm n uns fu ncum ntt df dfpnrtf cn Nnnndn 2nmn( Nncnudnt nu l-nm !zut fu mnn surprnns.

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Fu !d df n, c tu nu nn n!nt cfl mnn nmpurtnnt lucru, n tu nu-l !fn nflfgf, nttn tnmp ct !fn n!fn gndurn fgunstf. Fu nm !rut s prutfstfz, fu nm !rut s-n spun, c nm df!fnnt un f,fmplu n drngustfn n umnlnn. Fu nu-n fnc nnmnun !rfun rfpru, chnnr dnc sunt trntnt cu nfdrfptntf. Fu nunfnm pf tunt lumfn, n utnm spnrntunl pf fnfcnrf, fr !rfu dnffrfn. Fu nu m crfdfnm mnn prfsus dfct nltcnnf!n, chnnr n nnnmnlflf n plnntflf lf cunsndfrnm fnrnn n sururnlf mflf. *nr Mnchnfl, cnrf putfn s-mn cntfnsc gndurnlf cn ntr-u cnrtf dfschns, nu n nccfptnt nncn u scuz. "u nn drfptntf, mn-n spus fl. )u tuntf ncfstfn, tu nu nn trfcut nc df ultnmul unstncul. Fstf grfu df f,plncnt, dnr fstf n mnn grfu df nflfs. "u n nunftn pf tun, spun tu. Ncfst lucru fstf drfpt. "u ftn funrtf ffrncnt df ncfst lucru, tf nucurn ntuncn cnd drngustfn tn fstf nccfptnt, tf nucurn df zmnftul df mulumnrf nl cflunlnlt, snu nu( *n, nm spus fu, Ncfst lucru fstf ndf!rnt! Ndf!rntn drngustf nu nrf nf!unf df succfs! Fn sf nucur dunr df fnptul c puntf nunn. Fn nu ntfnpt nncn u rfncnf. *nc tu tf nucurn ntuncn cnd drngustfn tn fstf nccfptnt, ntuncn ftn nutumnt trnst, dnc fn fstf rfspnns, snu nu( *n, nm spus fu, ncfst lucru fstf drfpt! *nr dnc tf fncf ffrncnt dunr fnptul, c nn !unf s dnn drngustf, fr s cnun succfsul( Ntuncn fu nu mnn put fn nfffrncnt! +fzn tu ncum dnffrfnn( *nc nm nunn nun cn n mn urntntfn unmfnnlur, ntuncn nr fn cfrul un ndf!rnt nnd! &lnn df trnstff n suprnrf! )t df dfs nlung unmfnnn drngustfn nunstr( )t df dfs fstf nruscnt *umnfzfu( Fl nr fn prnn urmnrf cfn mnn nfffrncnt crfntur dnn ntrfngn crfnnf! Nntr-ndf!r, drngustfn fstf cn un numfrnng! *nr dunr drngustfn nnsulut n nfmrgnnnt. *nc f,nst nntfnnn, s ntfpn cf!n n schnmn, ntuncn nu fstf nun prnncnpnul. *nr drngustfn, cnrf pur n snmpul nunftf numnn, n utur, cnrf fstf dunr n utur, pfntru c cfllnlt nrf nf!unf df fl, dunr pfntru fnptul c f,nst ncfn pfrsunn, ncfnstn fstf ntuncn drngustf ndf!rnt. *unr fn fncf ffrncnt pf !fcn, n urncf trnstff n nn sfrntul. Ncfnstn nu nsfnmn, c nun suntfm urnn n nu putfm !fdfn suffrnnn. )hnnr dnn cuntr! *nc un cupnl sf nccndfntfnz grn!, df rfgul puntf unul dnn nfnr, cnrf sf cuncfntrfnz nsuprn cupnlulun, s-l n utf mult mnn nnnf dfct mnmn, cnrf fstf cuprnns df trnstff n df durfrf, n cnrf trfnunf s sf luptf cu pruprnnlf fn sfntnmfntf. ' pnuz lung m-n lsnt snngur cu sfntnmfntflf mflf. )f tnnm fu dfsprf drngustf( )f tnu unmfnnn df fnpt dfsprf drngustf( Nu f,nst prunnnnl un nlt cu!nt cnrf nrf nttfn pusnnnlntn. )f tf nucur mnn mult, s n un pf unul snngur, snu pf mnn muln( &f mnn muln, nnnfnflfs! Mnchnfl zmnfn n ncfst lucru fstf grfnt. Fstf unul mnn nfnmpurtnnt dfct mnn muln( Fnfcnrf fstf ln ffl df nmpurtnnt cn cfllnlt. Nu fstf nn cn n ln mfrf, undf duu cntrfsc mnn mult dfct unul snngur. Fnfcnrf nrf fnnnn sn pruprnf. 0n tunt crfnnn nu f,nst duu fnnnf cnrf s fnf ln ffl. *f cffn fstf nmpurtnnt fnfcnrf. *nc nr fn tun ln ffl, ntuncn nn n!fn tu drfptntf. )nncn nr fn ntuncn mnn nmpurtnnn dfct unul snngur. *nr fnfcnrf fstf nltffl, n fflul su fstf df nfnlucunt. *nc tu nn un cfns cu cnncnzfcn df rutnf, n tu nlturn dunr unn snngur, ntuncn cfnsul nu mnn funcnunfnz. &un tu ntuncn s spun, c cflflnltf pntruzfcn n nuu df rutnf sunt mnn nmpurtnntf dfct ncfn unn( )u sngurnn nu! nnf nnnf mnntf cf n spun- fnfcnrf fstf nmpurtnnt, ln ffl cn urncnrf nltul. n *umnfzfu nu lns pf nncn unul s sf prpdfnsc. Nncn mcnr unul! *nr !n fn nf!unf ln unnn df ustfnfln mnn mnrn, s-n nducn nnrn pf cnlfn cfn nun, dfct ln nlnn. *nc tu n nrn numnn unun snngur um cnlfn cfn drfnpt, n n!ut !nnn tn cfl mnn mnrf sfns, n tu nu ftn cu nnmnc mnn punn !nluruns n nu nn nfptunt cu nnmnc mnn punn, dfct dnc nn fn n utnt tu cnncnzfcn df unmfnn. *umnfzfu nu fstf un nfgutur df nnnmnlf. Fl nu punf fnptflf pf cntnr, Fl nu msunr n =nlugrnmf snu n chnntnlf. Fl msunr dunr drngustfn, pf cnrf tu nn f,pfdnnt-u. Numnn pfntru ncfnstn ftn tu rfspunsnnnl. %uccfsul, pf ncfstn ls-l n sfnmn lun *umnfzfu. Muln fufnz n ncfnstn. Fu tf-nm dus nlnlt-nfrn n mfdnntnnf ln dunmnn Hnfgflnnufr. "u nn ncfrcnt s-u nlnnn. Fn fstf un f,fmplu df f,cfpnf pfntru ncfnstn. Fn sf plngf mfrfu, c nu f,nst nnmfnn, pf cnrf l puntf n utn. Fn nrf dunr numnn ussflf-ul fn. Fn nr !rfn cu ntt df mult drng s-n n utf pf tun unmfnnn, nr punf cu ntt df mult drng lumfn rfn n urdnnf n l nn!nnunftf pf *umnfzfu, c fl nu-n d nncn u ucnznf, s nfptunnsc fnptf mnn mnrn. n df nttn cumptnmnrf df snnf fn nu fstf n stnrf, s-n n utf Gussflf-ulun fn. Numnn pfntru ncfstn fstf fn nnumf nncn. Fl nrf nf!unf urgfnt df n uturul fn, fl sf dnstrugf, dnc fn fncf nstffl mnn dfpnrtf, n fn n-nr putfn dn nn df mult, c !nnn fn s-nr fn rfntnt df zfcf urn. Nngrn ftf-tf n tnmpul urmtur dnn cnd n cnd df fn, n ncfnrc s-n fncn ncfnstn lnmpfdf. Mnn f,nst nc tutun spfrnn n prn!nnn fn. )n !ur s uncf pf pustul df unmfnn cnrf mnuntfsc lumfn, sf cumplnc cn mnrn !urnnturn, n dfmunstrnnn n n clunurn, dnr nu !d, c ncfln, cnrf sf nfl lng fn, sf dnstrugf, pfntru c fn nu-l unsfr!, pfntru c fl lf pnrf mult prfn nfnmpurtnnt, pfntru c fn nu-l nunfsc, pfntru c fn n rfnlntntf sf nunfsc numnn pf fn nnn. tnn tu ncum, cf fstf drngustfn( &unn nnntut nm dnt fu dnn cnp. Nu fnn trnst. n pfstf ncfst unstncul !fn mnn trfcf tu nc, ntrfngn !fnncnf sf nfl n fnn tn. Nncn fu nu nm tfrmnnnt cu n!turn. Nnmfnn n-n tfrmnnnt !rfudnt cu n!turn. *umnfzfu fstf ntt df nfmrgnnnt, c !fnncnn nu fstf ndfn uns, pfntru n-$ cuprnndf pf dfplnn. *nr ncfnstn fstf chnnr pnrtfn frumuns. &lnctnsfnl nu f,nst nncnudnt. n n!nrfn n muncn nu sunt, cn pf pmnt, lfgntf df ustfnfnl. % n!m n s muncnm fstf cfn mnn nnlt nucurnf pfntru nun.

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*nc tu nn nflfs drngustfn curnt, ntuncn put fu ncum s-n rspund ln ntrfnnrfn tn- "u ftn df mult df n mult mnn dfpnrtf dfct Nnnndn 2nmn. Nfncrfztunrf m-nm untnt fu ln fl. )um fstf pusnnnl ncfnstn, dfunrfcf fl nfptunftf tutun nn df mnrn fnptf, dfunrfcf fstf fl nn df nflfpt n nun.( "u gndftn df n nnrn ntr-un mud curnt umfnfsc. Nu dup nflfpcnunf trfnunf tu s tf ustfnftn, nu dup fnptf multf. "u trfnunf s-$ nunftn pf *umnfzfu mnn mult dfct pf tnnf nsun n pf nprunpflf tu cn pf tnnf nsun! Ncfnstn fstf tutul! Nstn nsfnmn ns, unt-tf mnn ntn, cn tu s n ungn ln *umnfzfu. Nnsus 7rnstus n numnt cnlfn- Fu sunt cnlfn. Nnmfnn nu puntf n ungf ln "ntl dfct prnn Fnul. *nr, cn df unncfn, nu sf mulumfsc unmfnnn cu cffn, cf cntfsc fn, fn trfnunf s schnmnf nmfdnnt sfnsul. )u ncfnstn nr fn !urnn dfsprf .cuntnfnn lun 7rnstus/. 7rnstus, ncfstn nm fn nun tun, ncfstn nr fn prnncnpnul drngustfn n mnn multf nltflf. Nu! Nnsus spunf funrtf clnr- Fu sunt cnlfn! n Fl s-n rfffrnt ln ncfnstn tf,tunl. )nnf !rfn ntr-ndf!r s n ung ln *umnfzfu, cnnf !rfn s unnn ndf!rnt stnrf df cupnl nl lun *umnfzfu, ncfln trfnunf s mfnrg cnlfn prnn Nnsus 7rnstus. ' nlt cnlf nu f,nst! n ncfnst cnlf sf puntf gsn numnn pf pmnt. )nnf n-n gsnt-u nncn, ncfln n-u !n gsn nncn .dnnculu/! 'nnn nugn n sfnnn, fn nu rfunt funrtf multf, fn nu n uns funrtf dfpnrtf, dn, fn put fnn funrtf nprunpf df *umnfzfu. Fn nu muncnt mult pfntru ncfnstn, nu lunt multf nsuprn lur, nu ndus multf frtff n nu trnt multf lnpsurn n rugcnunf n cnn. Fn nu ndunnt funrtf mult nflfpcnunf. *nr ultnmn u n-u put dfschndf dnn pruprnn putfrf. &f fn u dfschndf Nnsus 7rnstus dunr ncflurn, cnrf l rung umnln pfntru ncfst lucru. Ncfstn fstf cfl mnn mnrf sfcrft nl ntrfgnn crfnnn. Nnnndn 2nmn s-n dfz!ultnt funrtf dfpnrtf. Fl nrf df n df mult ncfnst prfsnmnrf. Fn l-n ndus nncn. *rngustfn lun fstf nn df putfrnnc, fn l !n ducf ntr-un tnmp scurt snu lung ln Nnsus 7rnstus. *nr ncfnstn trfnunf s fnf dfcnznn lun lnnfr. %-l unlngf sprf ncfst lucru, nu nrf nnmfnn !unf. Fl nsun trfnunf s mfnrg cnlfn ln Nnsus 7rnstus. Fl prnmftf ncflfnn n utunrf cn fnfcnrf. *fcnznn trfnunf ns s-u prncnnunnsc !unnn lun lnnfr. Multur unmfnn nflfpn lf fstf funrtf, funrtf grfu, s sf nplfcf n umnlnn. *f ncffn nu fstf nncn ncfnst cnlf cfn mnn uunr. *nr Nnnndn 2nmn !n rfun ncfst lucru. Ncfstn !n fn n succfsul tu. Nnrn m-nm untnt ln fl nfncrfztunrf. Fl tf-n !nzntnt ndfsfn, !un suntfn df n df mult tnmp lfgnn cu u lfgtur putfrnnc n drngustfn. %mfrfnnn tn n supunfrfn tn ndnc fn df Nnsus 7rnstus nu culurnt pn ln cnpt nsuprn lun n sunt n mumfntul, df n-n dfschndf uchnn. +fzn tu ncum, cf fstf drngustfn( Fr n n!fn nntfnnn df succfs, nducf fn u mnnunf dup cfnlnlt ln suprnfn. Nu df nflfpcnunf nn tu nf!unf. *nc *umnfzfu nr fn numnn nflfpcnunf, Fl n-nr fn ndus nncnudnt crfnnn $un ln !nn. Fl nr fn df!fnnt un fnluzuf snngurntnc n s-nr fn nucurnt df nflfpcnunfn %n pn n tuntf !fnncnnlf. Nu! *umnfzfu fstf nunnrf! n drngustfn nu-n u tnnn n duhulun. *rngustfn nu ducf cu!ntrn nflfptf. *rngustfn puntf fn numnn trnt. *rngustfn sf rspndftf mfrfu, ccn, nltffl, fn nu mnn fstf drngustf ndf!rnt. n s sf rspndfnsc puntf drngustfn numnn ntuncn, cnd fstf cnnf!n, cnrf puntf s-u prfnn. %nngurul lucru pf cnrf *umnfzfu l !rfn df ln nun, fstf, cn nun s-$ nunnm dnn !unnn nunstr lnnfr n dnn tunt nnnmn. Fl nsun n ndus ncfnst drngustf n lumf. n numnn prnn Fl, prnn Nnsus 7rnstus, puntf fn unnnut ncfnst cfn mnn nnlt drngustf. Nnflfpcnunfn nf !n n!n ntuncn *umnfzfu. Nntrfngn !fnncnf st ln dnspuznnf pfntru ncfnstn. Ncfnstn fstf cnlfn! )utnn mnn ntn mprnn lun *umnfzfu n drfptntfn $un n tuntf ncfstfn sf !ur ndugn !uu. Numnn ncfnstn cuntfnz! Nnmnc nltcf!n! Muln cu u crfdnn putfrnnc trfnunf nstzn s sf mnn lnsf nnt ucurnn, dnn cnuzn .snmplncntnn/ lur. Fn nu sf ustfnfsc dup dftfptcnunf n cunutnn umfnfnsc. Fn crfd pur n snmplu n nunfsc n tunt smfrfnnn. Ffrncnn cfn srncn cu duhul, c n lur fstf mprnn cfrurnlur! Nnumf- ffrncnn ncfnn, cnrf crfd smfrnn, fr cn s trfnunnsc mfrfu s ntrfnf df ndnt sfnsul tuturur lucrurnlur! &rn!fghfnn, n spus Nnsus. n %ntnn dfnnf cununtfrf n mnrf putfrf. n rul fstf n stnrf s nfptunnsc mnnunn n lucrurn mnrn. *nr un snngur lucru nu puntf- s nunfnsc! &fntru c ntuncn nu mnn fstf fl ru! )t df multur unmfnn lf fstf nstzn grfu, s sf ntnfzf df nnsfrnc rfspfctn! s sf sunurdunfzf, ln cnrf multf lucrurn sunt pf dus. Muln prsfsc mnn dfgrnn ntrfgul ndf!r, dfct s suffrf unflf lucrurn, cf nu sunt curfctf. Fn nu rfnlnzfnz, c sntnn n ptruns df n df mult n nnsfrnc n n nfnurucnt-u pnrnnl ntr-un mud funrtf urt. *nr tucmnn ncfnstn fstf tutun du!ndn pfntru mprnn lun 7rnstus. %ntnn nu fncf nncnudnt cf!n fr sfns. Fl n-nr ncfrcn cu tunt putfrfn, s dnstrug nnsfrncn, dnc fl n-nr tn f,nct, c fn n !n frngf ntr-u zn gtul. %fr!ncnul sfcrft tutun nu spnunfnz df rfgul prnftfnul. Nu, dnr n gu!frnul dumnn ptrundf fl n ncfnrc s n ung n cflf mnn nnltf pusturn! n dnc fl s-n fcut stpn pf un gu!frn, ntuncn tutun nu dnstrugf gu!frnul pn ln munrtf. %f ncfnrc mult mnn mult, s fnf ndfprtnn snnuturnn n s sf rfstnnnlfnsc nnrn strn urdunntf. *nc cnnf!n fstf nulnn!, n !un l ducfn ln ductur, ntuncn fl dunr nu-l umunr df tut, cn ncfnrc s-l n utf! *f cf nu fncfn !un cu nncfrncn tut nn( Fn sf nsfnmn cu u curnnnf, cnrf s-n gurnt n nmfnn s sf scufundf. *nc tun lnulnlt nr n utn, nr fn rfpfdf rfpnrnt lucul cu prncnnn, n curnnnn nr putfn s-n cuntnunuf clturnn fn. 0n luc df ncfnstn sf scnp fr mnntf muln n nrcnlf df snl!nrf. Numnn c - rmul sngur nu-l n ung fn nstffl nncnudnt. Furtunnlf !nfnn n fnc pf cfn mnn muln dnntrf fn s sf scufundf! *nr df cf pfrmntf *umnfzfu, cn muln dnntrf cupnnn $un s fnf nlungnn nfnr dnn nnsfrnc( *f cf nu nntfr!nnf Fl(

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&fntru c *umnfzfu nu-n ncnlc nncnudnt pruprnnlf %nlf lfgn! *nc Fl nr nntfr!nnn dnrfct, nr dnstrugf Fl tutun !unnn lnnfr n unmfnnlur. Ncfnstn n-u puntf Fl !rfn nncnudnt. *nr Fl ncurd nn df mult sprn nn! n nncn nu sunt ncftnn AncB cupnnn $un, cnrf sunt nlungnn nfnr. )upnnn $un l cunusc n l nunfsc. n drngustfn nccfpt n umnlnrn, fn puntf supurtn multf n puntf s trfnc multf cu !fdfrfn. Ncfnn cnrf sf snmt dfrnn nn df tuntf, ncfnn cnrf crntnc n cundnmn tuntf, ncfnn nc nu nu drngustfn. Fu dunr n crfdf, dnc ..., ncfnstn n-u spunf drngustfn nncnudnt. n numnn fn fstf ncffn, cnrf cuntfnz. *nr cnd!n udnt sf !n ntunrcf fnfcnrf. &nldn dfsprf fnul pnfrdut, ncfnstn fstf !nlnnnl pfntru fnfcnrf. 'nnn trfnunf mult tnmp s pftrfnc ntrf strnnn, pn cf fn rfcunusc pruprnn nfputnn n sf rfnturc n smfrfnnf n drngustf ln "ntl. *nr nu fnn df ncffn trnst. 'n sprf "nrl rmnf tutdfnunn dfschns! Fl n-u !n trntn nncnudnt! n nncn unul dnntrf fn nu fstf df ncffn mnn punn !nlurus! "ntl nu fncf dnffrfnnfrn! Fl l nunftf pf fnfcnrf dnntrf cupnnn %n ln ffl, nu fstf nmpurtnnt, ct df mult tnmp n fust fl ntrf strnnn. )nf !nnf ln "ntl, pf ncfln l !n prnmn Fl cu nrnflf dfschnsf. Nncnudnt nu-l !n pfdfpsn - snu chnnr s-l nruncf n fuc! +rfmfn, n cnrf n fust fl ntrf strnnn, ncfstn fstf tnmpul nfnurucnrnn, nl srcnfn, ncfnstn fstf u ndfn uns .pfdfnps/. %ntnn nu nscult cu drng ncfst mfsn . Fl n ncfrcnt df n dnntutdfnunn tutul, s l prfschnmnf n cuntrnrnul lun! n nn df muln sf lns cu plcfrf pclnn df fl. *n! *nr trfnunf tutun s f,nstf u pusnnnlntntf, s rupn stpnnrfn lun, s n sf dfslufnsc fnfcrunn ncfstf lfgturn lugncf. 'ntf, fu tf nm pf tnnf. Fr tnnf n-n fn n uns nncnudnt nn df dfpnrtf. *f cf n-nu tun un ngfr, cnrf n cunducf( Mnchnfl s-n untnt stupffnnt ln mnnf. Nu tnn ncfst lucru( Fnfcnrf nrf un ngfr! Numnn c nncn tu nu pun s !fzn nc tutul! Fnfcrunn n st un ngfr nlturn, tut nn cn n fu nf. n fnfcnrf nrf pusnnnlntntfn, s nn cuntnct cu ngfrul su. )fn mnn muln cupnn mncn mnn put nc s sf untf n lumfn nunstr. *nr, df ndnt cf fn put !urnn n put pu!fstn dfsprf ncfnstn, lf fstf scuns ncfnstn dnn cnp cn fnnnd u nnurfnl df fnntfznf. Mfrfu nnrn ncfrcm nun s nf fncfm unsfr!nnnln n lf dm unmfnnlur gndurn nunf. *nr dnc fn lf ndupt pf ncfstfn, ncfnstn sf nfl n !unnn lur lnnfr. *nc pf cnnf!n l lu!ftf cuntnnnn snu dnc !nn scrupulf, ntuncn sf nfl funrtf dfs ngfrul su n spntflf ncfstur lucrurn. *nr cfl mnn ndfsfn sunt sugfstnnlf lur pur n snmplu dntf ln u pnrtf, n tnmp cf nnsnnurnlf rulun sunt lncum prfluntf. %ntnn n rfunt, cn cfn mnn muln unmfnn s nu mnn crfnd n f,nstfnn nunstr. )um pun ncum s nsculn df cnnf!n, dfsprf cnrf sf crfdf, c fl nncn mcnr nu f,nst( %trfsul znlnnc, hntunnln n nflnnntfn mpnfdnc urncum urncf cuntnct cu lumfn duhu!nncfnsc. Nnumntf snrcnnn df prutfcnf n schnmn f,frcntm nun ntutdfnunn. &fntru fnfcnrf um. Nun prutf m trupul n sumn, cnd duhul mfrgf pf clturnf, nun rfspnngfm ntncurnlf rulun nsuprn !nfnnlur !unstrf, cflf multf nccndfntf .dnn ntmplnrf/, pf cnrf fl !n lf-n gtnt. Nns, ncfnst .snrcnn n ngfrulun pzntur/ fstf numnn pnrtfn fnrfnsc, mnn mnc n snrcnnnn nunstrf. "u nn n cnmfrn tn u ncunn ntrnnt, n cnrf un ngfr pzntur cunducf un cupnl pfstf un pud. Ncfnstn fstf u ncunn cu u nur mnnunnt. )nnf n pnctnt-u, ncfln n!fn un cuntnct nntfns cu lumfn duhu!nncfnsc. Fl putfn s-n dfschnd lnrg duhul su n putfn s-n nsufnsc uscnlnnnlf nunstrf, pf cnrf fl lf-n trnnspus n nmngnnf. Nncn fstf !urnn df pudul duhu!nncfsc, cnrf cn u crru ngust ducf dnnculu dnn lumfn mntfrnnl n mprnn lun *umnfzfu. Ncfnstn fstf snrcnnn nunstr pruprnu zns, mult mnn nmpurtnnt. )unducturn duhu!nncfsc !rfm nun s lf fnm unmfnnlur. Numnn c - nncn nrf tucmnn n !unnn lnnfr nntf cu!nnflf df spus. Nun nu n!fm !unf s f,frcntm nncn un ffl df cunstrngfrf. Nun lf-nm prncnnun nltffl unmfnnlur u pngun nrfpnrnnnl. &fntru c dnc !unnn nr fn rupt prnn cunstrngfrf, cfl lnnfr nr df!fnn pfntru tutdfnunn un scln!. Ncfnstn fstf chfnn sprf nflfgfrfn lumnn! n ncfnstn nf fncf snrcnnn nunstr nn df nfsfrnt df grfn. *nr tuntf cflf, cf lf cfrfn df ln nun, n!fm !unf s lf fncfm pfntru !un! "untf cf lf punfn ncrfzturn n mnnnlf nunstrf, lf !um rfzul!n pfntru !un. Ncfnstn fstf tut nn !nlnnnl pfntru lucrurnlf duhu!nncftn ct n pfntru cflf lumftn. +un nncn nu nf putfn fncf prfn mult munc, pfntru c munc n sfnsul !ustru, cnrf fstf lfgnt df ustfnfnl n df tnmp, nu f,nst tutun pfntru nun. )ffn cf ! fstf !uu ustfnfnl, fstf pfntru nun u nucurnf. )u ct mnn multf !un nf ncrfdnnnn, cu ct mnn mult nf lsnn s nfptunm, cu ntt mnn strns !n fn cuntnctul nustru ctrf !un. +un ! putfn lsn purtnn df usnlnnnlf nunstrf, n tuntf cflf, cf !un nn lf ncrfdnnnn, !ur fn nrnn ntf sprf nnnflf !ustru. Nnnfnflfs, sprf nnnflf !ustru! Ncfnstn nsfnmn ns dfsfurn- Nu nn, prfcum !un ! nchnpunn ncfnstn, nncn nfnprnt n tnmpul, pf cnrf l-nn gndnt !un pfntru ncfnstn. )nnf nrf prn!nrf nlnrg, ncfln !fdf cfl mnn ndfsfn nltf n mnn nunf cn, dfct ncfln, cnrf sf nfl mputmulnt n mlntnn. "untf cflf, cf trfnunf !un s lf fncfn, fstf s ! rugnn, s crfdfn, s n!fn ncrfdfrf n s f,frcntnn rndnrf. "ut nn cum fu nm fust mfrfu nlturn df tnnf, tut nn fstf ln fnfcnrf. )t df nntfnsn! !n df!fnn rflnnn, ncfnstn sf nfl numnn n mnn !unstr. % crfnd n nun n s tnf dfsprf nun, ncfst lucru l puntf fncf fnfcnrf, cnrf nf nmnfnz prunlfmflf snlf, nunnnd n cu ncrfdfrf, n !n nnf dnntr-u dnt rfzul!nrfn n mnnnlf snlf. N nntrn ntr-un cuntnct duhu!nncfsc cu nun, ncfst lucru sf puntf numnn n lnnntf, prnn rugcnunf n mfdntnnf n rndnrf. )t df mult f,frsnn !un, pfntru n n!n pfrffct u lnmn strnn( )t df muln nnn n!nn !un zn df zn, urf n nr( *nn prncnnn n cf ffl df scupurn mncn dfz!ultnn !un ctfudnt u fnfrgnf n pfrsf!frfn nmfns( n ct df mult tnmp n!fstnn !un znlnnc n curpul !ustru, pfntru n-l nntrfnn n n-l nfrumusfn( Nnmfnn nu-n !n pstrn trupul. 0n prnf nu sf mnn !d muchnn, nncn nu mnn dfrnn fnz rndurnlf. N-nr fn !rfdnnc n ustfnfnln, s-n rfzfr!fzn n fnfcnrf zn ctf!n mnnuntf, pfntru n nntrn n lfgtur cu *umnfzfu n lnnntf n rugcnunf n mfdntnnf( )u *umnfzfu n cu nun, cnrf ! cunducfm dup !unnn $un n ! ncumpnnnm pf cnlfn nsprf Fl! *f n n !nnn !unstr nctunl nn prnmn !un multnplu nnpun tnmpul pf cnrf !un l pftrfcfn n lnnntf. ' lucrnrf, pf cnrf u ncfpfn cu nun, rfuftf! Nnfptunrfn !unstr, ln cnrf !un ! rugnn dup n uturul nustru, nu !n fn fr succfs! )lturnn, pf cnrf u plnunn cu nun n ln cnrf nf lunn cu !un, nu sf !n sfrn n hnus! )fnrtn, pf

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cnrf nf-u ncrfdnnnn sprf nplnnnrf, fstf df n pf umtntf sfnrnt! Grn nlf !unstrf sf !ur rnsnpn n prunlfmf !unstrf !ur fn rfzul!ntf n umtntf df tnmp! )t df multf lucrurn fncfn !un, n crur succfs !un nu-l cununtfn, pf cnrf !un nu lf putfn !frnfncn( &f nun nf putfn !frnfncn! *f n dup un tnmp scurt! 'ndf fstf u !unn, nculu fstf n u cnlf, n crunn n lnpsftf !unnn, ncflunn nu-n fulusftf nncn cfn mnn lnrg cnlf! +fzn tu ncum, cum s-nu rfzul!nt tuntf( &fntru fnfcnrf fstf pnrcnt n fnn unn u mnnn. *unr s cunduc, trfnunf fl snngur! n dnc nn lns furnt muturul, snu dnc tunrn np n rfzfr!ur, snu dnc lf d !unf prnftfnnlur, s cunstrunnsc dnn run supurturn pfntru spun, ntuncn nu nrf !unf fl s dfn !nnn pf mnnn. *nc !rfn tutun s n ung ln cnptul prupus, trfnunf s mfnrg pf us drumul lung n plnn df unstnculf - snu s-n rfpnrf dnn nuu mnnnn. Fu nm fust ct sf puntf df ngruznt df cffn, cf fu nm nuznt mnn nnnntf. $n ncfst lucru fu nu m-nm gndnt. *f cf sunt unrf unmfnnn ntt df urnn( %ntnnn fstf ntt df dftfpt n df !nclfnn, n nnmfnn nu-n puntf n ungf ln nns n ncfst dumfnnu. Fl lf d unmfnnlur u nucnt df znhr, n n tnmp cf fn l df!urfnz cu lcumnf, lf fur fl mnnnn. *up ncffn spunf, c nu n f,nstnt nncnudnt !rfunn. n cfn mnn muln l crfd pf cu!nt. n muln n mnn nccfpt uffrtn, prnn cnrf sf sf lnsf dun u nucnt dnn drum! Fn sf lns lfgnn ln uchn df fl n nu unsfnr!, c fl n ducf n dnrfcnn upus! 'h, dnc nr tn fn, c ntrfg drumul nnrupt trfnunf s-l pnrcurg pf us! *nr trfnunf cn s tf pun prutf n n !rfun ffl. Nnnfnflfs c fstf pusnnnl! "u tf-nn prutf nt cu mnrf succfs. Nrmflf sunt- rugcnunfn, mfdntnnn - n drngustfn! Mnn nlfs drngustfn! 8 0n znun df rusnlnn m-nm mnuln!nt fu dfudnt ru df tut. ' tumunrf mnrf s-n furmnt n cnpul mfu. Nnupfrnnnl nu sups ducturnn. *nr drngustfn pf cnrf fu nm sdnt-u, n prnns flunrf. Mnnmn m-n lunt nmfdnnt dnn spntnl n m-n ndus lng fn ncns. Fn lucrn ncum dunr umtntf df zn, n n ncfl tnmp n!fn grn u !fcnn df mnnf. Mnmn n trfnunt s rfnunf ln fnurm df mult lucrurn, dnr ncfst lucru nu u mnn dfrnn n prfn tnrf. $ucrurn mntfrnnlf nu mnn nsfmnnu pfntru fn prfn mnrf lucru. Fn nu mnn cunsumn nlcuhul, chnnr n df fumnt s-n lsnt fn. Nu mnn frn nfcfsnr pfntru fn, dfunrfcf fn n-n gsnt lnnntfn. Nprunpf c nr fn nccfptnt chfmutfrnpnn uffrnt. *nr fu nm putut s-u fnc s nflfng, c fu nu durfnm ncfnstn. )hnnr n ducturul n nflfs ncfnst durnn. $n u nstffl df tumunrf nu sunt nnsflf n nn prfn mnrn, n fust prfrfn lun. &untf c nr trn punn mnn mult, dnr cu sngurnn nu !n trn mnn ffrncnt. *nc rmnf lng fn n u ngrn nn, n !n nmnntn cu sngurnn df ultnmnlf clnpf nlf !nfnn. *nc durfrnnlf !ur fn prfn mnrn, ! !un n utn ln urncf ur. Fu nm fust nucuruns c nm prnmnt un ductur nn df nflfgtur. )u tuntf c tnnm cf nsfmnn ncfnst nunl pfntru mnnf, n cu tuntf c m nucurnm n u nccfptnm cu rndnrf, n!fnm tutun punn frnc df cffn cf !n urmn pfntru mnnf. +ur fn unrf durfrnnlf ntt df cruntf( +un putfn unrf s rfznst( )u durfrn pfrmnnfntf frnm unnnunt, n fu putfnm s nfs ln cnpt cu flf. 0n prnmflf lunn frn df supurtnt, fu lunm dunr rnrfurn cnlmnntf. Mnmn sttfn df multf urn lng mnnf. Fn n n!nt s cumunncf cu mnnf n tcfrf. Fr cu!nntf, dunr cu snmurnlf. Fu frnm ntt df nucuruns s !d, ct df dfpnrtf n n uns fn. *f ln Nnnndn 2nmn n n!nt fn s sf rungf n s mfdntfzf, n fn n fust u flf! snlntunrf. Nun nf ndncfnm dfsfurn n lnnntfn spnrntulun n nf unfnm prnntr-u nnnd n drngustfn, nn cum nm cunuscut fu ncfnstn dunr ln tntn. "ntl mfu frn dfsfurn cu nun, n chnnr n mnmn putfn s-n snmt prfzfnn. *f ctf!n urn nm rfunt, s-u nnu pf mnmn sus, s-n nruncf ctf!n .prn!nrn/ n lumfn spnrntunl. )hnnr n frnnn mfn m !nzntnu unfurn. 0ncftul cu ncftul n ncfput n ln fn s sf tupfnsc durntntfn lur n s sf nmunnf nmngnnfn mntfrnnl. %chnmnnrfn mnmfn n-n pus pf gndurn. Fn nu unsfr!nt c nu st n fnn lur .u sur n rugcnunnn/, cnrf n ncfput s-n fnf frnc ln ntrnffs cnrf ncfnrc s snl!fzf, cffn cf nc sf puntf snl!n. +nnrnnnlf fn frn purf n ndf!rntf, drngustfn fn frn nun. Fn nu trfnunn s !urnfnsc multf, sf putfn snmn, sf putfn !fdfn pf chnpul fn. Mult s-n rugnt fn pfntru frnnn mfn, mult s-n gndnt fn ln fn. n .ln!nnn/ fn !n df!fnn ntr-u nun zn funrtf mnrf. 3 "rfnzfcn n trfn df nnn nm mplnnnt fu nfrn, n tnnm, c ncfnstn !n fn ultnmn mfn zn df srnturnrf. Fu frnm prfgtnt s sufr, frnm ffrncnt, c n!fnm !unf s ndnug n fu nucntn mfn - dnr frnm tuun nucuruns s tnu, c nu !un mnn fn pfnrtu mult tnmp lfgnt df ncfst curp. 'n culn!nfn frn df n dfschns, pnsrfn frn prfgtnt s znunrf, ntfptn dunr sfmnnlul. )u tuntf ncfstfn m npucn ctfudnt tfnmn! Mnchnfl m-n n!frtnznt df n dnn tnmp. Fnn ntfnt, mn-n spus fl, dunnnlf npnr dnn nuu! $n sfrnt mnn strngf nc u dnt %ntnnn mfnghnnn. Fl sf fulusftf df nfsngurnn, rfstul ncfln, cnrf sf nfl ntrf crfdnn n stnnn.

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Fu nm !zut prfn multf, nm trnt prfn multf, pfntru n dnspfrn. )hnnr n dup cf nu mnn n!fnm putfrf, s m rffugnfz ln Mnchnfl. *nr fu putfnm snmn nfpturnlf df nc, cnrf trfnunnu s m fnc nfsngur, n fu put s-n nflfg pf tun, cnrf sunt stpnnn df dunnn n chnnr dnc sunt crfdnncnun dnu nnpun n sf lupt cu frncn lur. *nr cnnn n n!nt pf !rfmurn nunf s sf rungf, !n putfn trfcf n pfstf ncfstf tfmfrn. Fu frnm nprunpf n ntrfgnmf pnrnlnznt n nu mnn putfnm nncn cu cfn mnn nun !unn s supurt durfrnlf, dunr cucnlmnntf tnrn. Fu df nnnn mnn putfnm s nghnt, mncntul n df!fnnt un chnn. "ut mnn dfs pncnm fu ntr-un sumn ndnc n nncuntnfnt. "ut mnn dfs !fdfnm fu chnpurn n !ns. *f unncfn frn ngfrn, cnrf m !nzntnu n n dfschndfnu cu tnndrff nrnpnlf lur dfnsuprn mfn. *nr mnn frnu n cnucnnturn nfgrf, cnrf sttfnu mnn ln dnstnn ln pnd, dnr cnrf nu rfufnu s sf nprupnf df ncfn ngfrn. Nntr-u nun zn nu !fnnt sprf mnnf trfn mnnunnn n mnrn ngfrn. Fn nu ndus n pfntru mnnf u pfrfchf df nrnpn. )n n fluturnn nf-nm urcnt nun n nfr n nm znurnt sprf sunrf. )fn mnn mnrf ffrncnrf m-n nnundnt pf mnnf. Ntuncn m-nm nturs fu, n nm !zut n dfprtnrf mnrf sun mnnf u cnmfr. Nntr-un pnt frn un curp ndurfrnt, cnrf sf nturcfn dnntr-u pnrtf n cfnlnlt df durfrf n cnrf sf luptn cu munrtfn. ' ffmfnf sttfn n plngfn nfn uturnt nlturn, n spntflf fn sf nflnu dun ngfrn, cnrf u cunsulnu. Ffmfnn s-n untnt n sus ln mnnf - frn mnmn mfn! Fu frnm ncfnn, cnrf sf zntfn nculu us cu munrtf! Nu frn un !ns! Fu nm fust flnnfrnt! Fu frnm lnnfr! n ntuncn nm !zut fu dnn nuu, mnn mnrf n mnn strlucntur dfct urncnd%unrflf! %unrflf mfu! Nnsus )hrnstus! &lnn df nucurnf n mulumnrf nm pncnt fu n gfnunchn. Fu nu nm murnt! Nu! Fu m-nm nscut! Mnchnfl m-n rndncnt, tntn n fust nculu mprfun cu surn Gnrcnn. Fu frnm nnrn ncns! Mnchnfl mn-n ntnns u cup cu cflf mnn mnnunntf fructf pf cnrf fu lf-nm !zut !rfudnt. Mnnc, pun n!fn nf!unf df u ntrnrf. )f ffl df fructf sunt ncfstfn( Flf n npnrnn. Fu lf-nm pstrnt pfntru tnnf. %unt fructflf pf cnrf tu lf-nn culfs pf pmnt. Mn n mn nm mfrs nun sprf cns, n dnrfcnn ncflfn lumnnn. 3333 FPNLUG LN N 2-N FDNNF "frnturnnlf spnrntunlf nu sf put nflfgf prnn cunutnn. *nn cuntr- df multf urn nf st n drum. Fncf pnrtf dnn curp n puntf pfrcfpf dunr cffn., cf n trnnsmntf cflf cnncn snmurn nlf nunstrf. Ncurdul cumun, cnrf n nflnt ncfnst cnrtf, m nucur funrtzf tnrf. ) nu mnn fust prnntrf flf rfmrcn crntncf, n chnnr !ucn cnrf sf mputrn!fnu, m-n mpnns sprf fnptul, df n f,plncn ctf!n lucrurn n ncfst fpnlug. Fu nm ncfrcnt s nrt nfmrgnnntn drngustf n lun *umnfzfu, cnrf cuprnndf pf tuntf fnnnflf n cnrf fstf cu mult mnn mnrf n cuprnnztunrf, dfct nun nf-nm putfn nmngnnn. Multf lucrurn puntf c sunt n rfnlntntf nltffl, nun nu putfm s lf pfrcfpfm cu nflfgfrfn nunstr mnc n lumfnsc. *unr )hrnstus ducf sprf "ntl, n Fl fstf drumul! *nr pf cnnf cunducf Fl, cnd n cum pf ncfl drum, fu nu put s m prunun ln ncfnstn. *unr un lucru tnu cu sngurnn- *uhul %u, *uhul %u sfnt, ndnf pfstf tut, chnnr n n nfnrn nnsfrncnlur. &rnn fructflf lur n !fn rfcununtf "rfnunf dunr cn s dfschndfm uchnn n s nf nmnntnm df cfn mnn nmpurtnnt purunc n %nNunnn-! ...! *unr nstn cuntfnz! Nu nf putfm nnrncndn n spntflf dugmflur, n lfgnnlur n n cundnmnrnnlur# *umnfzfu gsftf pf fnfcnrf, n dup ncffn l msunr prnn drngustfn ncfstunn pfntru nprunpflf su.! Nnsfrncn, spu!fdnnnn, sncrnmfntflf, ct df nfnsfmnntf sunt flf, dnc nu cunduc sprf umnlnn n sprf drngustf, n ct df mrff sunt ntuncn cnd nf dnu putfrfn, s crftfm n drngustfn lun )hrnstus! Fu lf mulumfsc n!turnnlur mfn spnrntunln. )ununtfrfn lur, rndnrfn lur n drngustfn lur mn-nu dfnschns drmul spnrntunl n cu ncfnst cnrtf tuturur cflurn, cnrf cnut s fnf umnln. 'ndf sunt strnnf cu!nntf n lntfrf, nculu putfm s mfrgfm n lnnntf n s snmnm !nnrnnnlf, cnrf sf nscund n spntflf cu!nntflur n s nf lsm dus df fn. Nfn nmnn Elfnn, nunfmnrnf 1?>>

*rngustfn lun *umnfzfu fstf tfmn prnncnpnl dnn crnnlf lun Nnn nmnn Elfnn ....nncn vurn df nnd .... nncn vurn df munr f Ncfstf crn sunt dnscursurn nfucntf dfsprf drngustfn lun *umnfzfu. Nfn nmnn Elfnn d n !nlfng pcntul df munrtf n tuturur rflngnnlur- &f *umnfzfu s-$ fnc um n !fnncn, nfmrgnnntn n pfntru nun nfnmngnnnnnln drngustf n %n s-u scurtfzf n s-u ngrdfnsc. Fl du!fdftf lnpfdf n pf nflfsul tuturur, df cf drngustfn lun *umnfzfu nu puntf n!fn mnrgnnn n nu sf uprftf nncn n fnn nndulun, dn mnn nlfs nculu fstf mnn f!ndfnt - nnnfnflfs dnc dugmflf nunstrf, nn!ndnn n durnnn nunstr df putfrf nu nf nchnd uchnn pfntru n !fdfn ncfnstn!

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)I2JN &FN"2' )'&NN *F N8FNGNMNN E$FNN !UN"F#FLF LFNN $ U"KN% LFN&DN ' mnnunnt cnrtf pfntru cupnn, cu 14 df unncfn nmngnnn dunlf dfsfnntf cu ncunrflf cnrf nu !r fsc dunr cupnnn. Fstf cnrtfn ngfrnlur pfntru cupnn. *fschndf uchnn pfntru lumfn spnrntunl n fstf cntnt cu ncfnnn plncfrf df cupnn n df nduln. !UN"F#FLF LFNN $ '(NN #UPN#ULUN Nl dunlfn !ulum n urncflulun $fnn, cu ncflnn nmngnnn. NFN) "FGFLF PU"#NLU" MN*+"F,N ' cnrtf pfntru cupnn cu !rstf ntrf > - >; df nnn. Nncn pu!fstftf Nfn nmnn Elfnn u pu!fstf drgu df nnnmnlf dfsprf un mnc purc mnstrf pf numf Nfn, cnrf frn df n dnntutdfnunn mnn nltffl dfct cfnlnln. Fl sf znntf cu multf lucrurn cnrf nstzn sunt ln urdnnfn znlfn, fr n n!n cf!n dnn flf. *n, n pn cnd df!nnf Nfn rfgflf purcnnlur mnstrfn, trfnunf s mnn trfnc pfstf multf n!fnturn ' cnrtf df rs -n pfntru n gndn. NN*U* #."N*+U* /N MNJLU#UL NU*+"U )nrtfn trnnsmntf u !fdfrf ndnc n lumfn spnrntulun- gndurn, rugcnunf, mfdntnnf. ' pnrtf prnctnc cunducf pns cu pns n pf nflfsul tuturur sprf u mfdntnnf crftnn ndnc.

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