The Perfect Woman

Alexis Cooper (AMES)

Sexy, alluring, dime piece and hot are a few of the words used to describe beautiful women. Women that make mens mouths water. The type of women that make other women buy two tubs of ice cream moments after they meet. Those women are undeniably beautiful, but the real question is, are they perfect? In todays world where human DNA is almost completely mapped out, and anyone can be found through the internet, should we not be able to say that the perfect woman has been found? The idea of the perfect woman is unrealistic because the boundaries are never defined, and said perfect women is only described by her looks. The realistic version of the perfect woman does not have to look like Angelina Jolie or Kate Upton. The actual perfect woman has to do with the spirit and mindset. The perfect women should have a strong, unwavering spirit. She should not allow anyone or anything to break her down or make her feel less than. Although it is a difficult task, the perfect woman should know, deep down to the core exactly who she is. She should know her strengths and be able to use them to her advantage without overlooking her weaknesses. Being aware of her fears and at times, being able to admit them openly without fear of judgment or criticism, is keen. In order for this women to be perfect she should have some sort of moral system and understand exactly how her morals will affect her life, as well as the lives of the people she surrounds herself with. This woman of perfection should allow her spirit to run free; her spirit should never be chained with the burden of regret and missed opportunities. Spirit should be the firm foundation the perfect woman is built upon. For a girl to become the perfect, she must be in the middle of every extreme. Like half of the rap songs in the 2000s described, the perfect woman should be independent. She should be able to take care of herself when needed and she should be able to do so with, or without a significant other. The only problem with that, is the perfect woman cannot be so independent that when she never allows herself to be dependent on her significant other. She must choose when to be dependent and independent based on the different situations she is put into. The perfect woman should be confident with herself: her words, her actions and her body. She should be confident enough to speak her mind with no fear of being told she is wrong. Another huge stepping stone to becoming the perfect woman would be to not fear being right. Many times women hold their tongue not because they do not want to be wrong, but because they are afraid of what might happen if they are right. She should understand that to be perfect, she does not need a PhD, or to own a small business. Knowing how she best receives love and understand how to give love back out into the universe is extremely important. This perfect woman should not only love freely, but love personally. She should never be ashamed to say that she loves herself and at times, she should show it. Many would agree that beauty is perfection. Having the face of a goddess and the body of a model are the top two secret desires of women around the world. The only problem with that definition of perfect, is that it does not account for the rest of a women, her spirit and mind. The perfect woman should know who she is and what she stands for. Her spirit should be strong and open to the world around her. As for her mind, she should be compassionate, and empathetic. She should love to both get love, and give it. This perfect woman should be confident in who she is and understand the world and people around her. This woman should never be afraid to be herself, whether that is awkward or sexy or smart or a tomboy, she should never allow others to put limitations on who she is as a person. Most importantly, the perfect woman should stand up of what is right, whether or not it affects her directly. This woman is, in mind and spirit, absolutely perfect.

The Perfect Woman

Alexis Cooper (AMES)

Men think women are crazy. But does anyone ever stop to think that maybe the poor girl was not born crazy. She did not wake up one day and decide to be crazy. Men make women crazy. They literally force the crazy out of them. One of the ways men cause womens craziness is by undermining their self-esteem. They constantly say little things or do little things that cause a girl to feel less than perfect. Most of the time men do not even realize they are doing these selfesteem crushers because their subconscious is doing it for them. I know from personal experience, men are the kings of making women feel far less than perfect. One of the most undermining things a guy has said to me my entire life, other than call me ugly to my face, was for him to call me pretty, for a black girl. I remember the boy too, because he was just about the biggest crush of my junior high career. He said it to me at one of our school dances. I went to a junior high called Valley Junior, it is considered one of the more ghetto schools and for that reason, our dances were held in the gym with no snacks or punch or decorations at all. Just one speaker playing music from our health teachers iPod. We were slow dancing when he said it, his arms on my waist and mine around his neck. I remember feeling so excited and scared that I might have peed my pants and thrown up at the same time. He pulled my away from me for a minute, as the music grew quiet. He looked into my eyes and I stared back into his huge baby blues. He leaned into me, causing my heart to beat slow and hard in my chest. I closed my eyes and mentally prepared myself for the perfect kiss with the perfect guy during the perfect song in this perfect moment. I had tuned everything else out, so that I could relish in this bliss. Instead of feeling his soft lips on mine, I felt his hot sticky breath in my ear. Lexi, he whispered, you are the prettiest black girl I have ever seen. I stepped back from him with a face full of discussed and disapproval. With all my strength I slapped him across his check; so hard that it left a perfect red outline of my hand on his sun kissed face. Or, at least that is what I wanted to do. I wanted so badly to call him horrible names and make it clear to him that what he said was not a compliment, it was the exact opposite. It was rude and undermining and racist and disrespectful. I wanted to make him cry. I wanted him to feel the exact pain I was feeling right there in that moment. Yet instead of doing any of that when his face came back into view, I just smiled my best smile and said thank you. Although he was not yet a man and I was not yet a woman, when that moment passed I felt like I had lost my mind. The pain I wanted to inflict on him and the words I yelled in my head were not of any sane girl, especially not when those words were directed to someone a girl could potentially love. I kept trying to convince myself that he meant it in the most sincere way possible and kept telling myself not to make it more than what it was. In hindsight, it is a big deal. That thirty seconds of that perfect song with that perfect guy was the first time any man had ever made me feel less than perfect. It triggered something in me I have yet learned how to fix. His words cut into me deep, deeper than any knife ever could. He not only made me feel far below perfect, even far below okay, he made me doubt. He made me question myself in a way no woman should ever have to question. If I was pretty, could he not have just said that? Obviously there was a discrepancy because he added in the fact that I was black. Did he think I did not know? I now question my level of perfection every day in every mirror and every camera. I even question the people around me in a way I had not done before. That thirty seconds of that one day in my ghetto junior high planted the seed of crazy in my mind. That boy with the baby blues and the sun kissed skin made me feel, for the first time in my entire life, far less than perfect.

The Perfect Woman

Alexis Cooper (AMES)

Winnie Mandela is a very strong willed woman. The majority of her marriage to the late Nelson Mandela, he was either being arrested or in jail. She had to overcome the loss of her son as well as constant braiding from the authorities for her leadership role in the South African fight for civil equality. She had a voice that spoke to the minds and hearts of thousands. No matter what the authorities did to her, she stayed strong and fought through it. Even after she was abducted in the middle of the night and taken into solitary confinement under the charge of terrorism; even after she was forcible removed from her home and placed under surveillance in a house cities away from where she lived, she stayed strong. Winnie Mandela has a strong mind and heart. Her actions and beliefs both challenge and support my idea of the perfect woman. One of the most important traits a perfect woman should have is confidence. She should be confident in her words, her actions, her morals and in her body. Winnie Mandela did both support, and challenge this belief. Winnie had to be confident to speak on her husbands behalf. She had to be even more confident to not only voice her own opinion, but to open women up to the fight for civil rights in South Africa. She was confident that her actions were for the greater good and she knew that she had to continue to be confident, not only to benefit herself, but to benefit all the people of color in her nation. The moment when Winnie fell out of my idea of the perfect women is when she lost touch with her moral code and deemed it acceptable to have a 14 year old boy killed. She was wrongfully convinced that the boy was a government spy, and she allowed her morals to be skewed, causing her to make the wrong division. The perfect woman should know what she believes in and she should stand by that no matter the situation, no matter the stress, and no matter the cost. I am sure that it was never in Winnie Mandelas moral code to kill who ever she felt crossed her. That could not possibly have been the goal of a woman that spent her entire life fighting for equal rights and peace. Winnie Mandela at some point fell victim to outsiders manipulative fingers, and she allowed the confidence in her morals to be lost. Knowing who you are is critical for my version of the perfect woman. Winnie Mandela, from a young age, knew exactly who she was. She knew how to be independent when she was alone, and at the times when her husband was involved, she allowed herself to open up and become more dependent on him. I respect her for being able to overcome all the obstacles placed in front of her. Winnie was never afraid to state her opinion, even when she knew it was not the most popular. She was well aware of the consequences her words would bring and yet she still said them. Not once did she allow fear to control her positive mindset. Not once did she stay silent for fear of being right, for fear of being wrong. Winnie Mandela, in this aspect is the perfect woman. She allowed herself to love, and she allowed other to love her back. She opened her heart and mind to the people of her nation, not fearing judgment or criticisms. Winnie Mandela is almost my perfect woman because she spoke out against injustices not fearing the consequences. My perfect woman would be able to love herself and others openly. Winnie was passionate with confidence, exactly what my perfect woman is. She was open to the criticisms and the judgments, yet she was never afraid of them. The only discrepancy in Winnie Mandelas life that would restrain her from becoming my version of the perfect woman would be the fact that she lost sight of her morals. She got so caught up in fighting for what was right and doing what was best for the people of color in South Africa, that she allowed herself to become corrupted. My version of the perfect woman has morals and standards she holds herself to; she knows who she is and what she stands for down to the bone. I believe Winnie Mandela knew who she was in the beginning of the long process, only when the stress of it all came down on her tired shoulders did the corruption take root.