Teresa Chavez

EPS 512
Prof. Ruth Myers
July 19, 2013

Identity Paper: ME

There were many outside forces that shaped me into the student, woman, person I am today.
Most important factor that contributed to the development of my character would be my mother, my core
values have been passed down to me and my experiences have helped shape my being/character. I am
certainly still growing into the individual I want to be and I am proud to say I am an active participant in
that development.
I find it difficult to specifically identify myself. I believe I am different things at different times.
At the moment I identify most strongly with student in the process of learning how to be a teacher. I am
in the process of unlearning many things that I believe will be harmful to my overall development as a
teacher. Although we sit around in class all day talking about how everyone should love each other, how
we have no prejudices and how we all have to be accepting, I know it is easier said than done. I want to
be open to everything and everyone but I know I still have certain reservations about certain people.
Back stage racism is an active participant in all of our lives. It is hard to control it sometimes for different
reasons. I am trying to critically analyze my flaws and move forward with an open mind and open heart.
I find myself nervous about working in certain parts of town with certain types of people etc. I feel like I
have, like most of us, been inculcated in a two sided world; them and us. I am trying to unlearn the
them part.
The most impressive and fascinating students are the ones that are constantly trying to reach their
full potential. I want to have infinite possibilities and never want to become jaded thinking that there is
nothing left to learn but I often have these feelings which make me not take certain people with certain
opinions seriously, this is bad. I want to continue learning until the day I die but I tend to have very
strong opinions and most times I dismiss others opinions because I truly believe they are wrong and
often times try to push my opinions on others. I do this without realizing it most of the time until I look
back and reflect upon my interactions with people. This leaves me feeling embarrassed and extremely
controlling. Like I said earlier, I try to embrace my flaws and learn from them. I try to discipline myself
and coach myself when I feel like I am going to say something stupid or come off overly aggressive. This
is my time to learn and perfect being a student to the best of my abilities because I want to model what a
good student should be in front of my students. You cannot preach what you dont practice. As a
student, I want to be able to make connections between theory and practice. I want to be engaged and I
want to contribute to my educational process.
Education is the most important thing to me. I want to become a teacher, not because I love kids,
but because I really do take education extremely seriously. I get sick to my stomach about how illiterate
our babies are becoming. I am most passionate about literacy, this is why I want to work in the younger
grades to be able to actively contribute to the academic and personal development of our future. I feel
that I would be lost without my education. Now that I think about it, I think my education is the one thing
that can define me the most. I dont just mean my academic education but my worldly education,
probably most important. The Earth is important to me. Many people latch on to religion, which I dont
necessarily think is a bad thing, because it does a lot of good for a lot of people. At this point in my life
religion doesnt do that for me. I believe in the Earth, the stars and the sky. I believe in taking care of our
Earth because at the end of the day its the only thing that we truly have. Health is also very important to
me. Eating healthy, living healthy and staying active is spiritual healing for me. Releasing goodness
from the inside out can only be done if you are healthy, not polluting your body with chemicals and drugs
is extremely important. I believe that you will never be able to reach a Nirvana like state of being if you
arent healthy. I am in the process of getting rid of all the baggage and disease unhealthy living has
caused me. It is a slow yet steady process. People are important to me. All people, not just my family.
It is no wonder people dont value other life, we have this mentality that says everything must be for me.
I dont like people who dont believe in paying taxes or complain about it. I most of all believe in this
progressive movement that is sweeping the world. People are becoming more enlightened and are
demanding equality, shelter, education, preservation of the Earth and nutrition; arent these the basic
principles for basic human development and growth? I believe it is, Enlightenment is the most important
thing I can think of come to think of it. Streams of consciousness are also important because it leads us to
analyze what we are really thinking.
Most people dont expect anything from me. My teachers, parents, friends however, expect a lot.
My teachers/professors expect me to do well in school, they expect me to participate and show up on
time. My parents expect me to be the best at everything, the expect me to be polite and to clean after
myself. My friends expect me to be a party animal. Overall I believe everyone around me has really high
expectations. I have always aimed for the highest peak in the sky, which means that if I never quite
reached it or fell along the way, I wouldnt fall far. For this I am grateful for. I thank my mother for
pushing me so hard and giving me the encouragement and praise when often times werent necessary or
relevant. I grew up thinking I was the smartest, the fastest, that I could do no wrong and that I could do
anything I wanted to. Now that I reflect on my mothers encouragement I find it problematic at times,
since I grew up thinking I was the best at everything and that I could do anything I often times slacked.
Still, I proved to be very resilient because I always managed to bounce back because I always knew deep
down that if I wanted something I could achieve it. Praise and encouragement can go a long way, I am a
product.
I can come off pretty strong and I dont really convey academia to people but I think that I enjoy
fooling people. Most people dont expect me to have such strong opinions about the things I have strong
opinions about. I am politics obsessed but dont often reflect that with my ripped jeans, dirty converse
and messy hair. I like to rock out but I also really like to read. I feel like I am a walking contradiction, an
oxymoron. I know that I can come off arrogant and uninterested, both can be true but arent really who I
am. Truth is, I am very insecure and very interested in everything. I think that most people perceive me
as negative things. I have to figure out a way to change that.
I dont know exactly where I want to go with my life but I am certain I want either a PHD or a
JD. I want a family. I want to be a great teacher. I just want to be and let be. This paper is making me
realize that I have no idea where I want my life to go. Obviously I am going to be a teacher for the next 5
years but other than that I feel kind of lost. I think this is a natural feeling, even with AUSL I felt like I
just kind of fell into the whole thing. 3 years ago, if you would have told me that I was going to be a
teacher I would have looked at you like you were crazy. 8 months ago if you would have told me Id be
living in Chicago I would have laughed. Life is crazy and unpredictable, this excites me.