Guarna 1

Nicholas Guarna
Professor Dr. Kirsten Ogden
English 1A- Online
19 July 2014
Reading A Draft Critically
My general impression is that it expresses the struggle of being raised Catholic
and growing up in a world where we know science is a relevant truth. It is a search for a
theological identity, which doesnt have to be a certain religion but shows the importance
of faith. If you discover who you are as a person it aids the process of you finding your
theological identity. The aspect of the draft that seems especially effective is when the
thoughts about science are compared to the experience of the Catholic faith. It shows how
ideas of religion have changed with the exposure of scientific fact. To present the
occasion more effectively the scene about going to Confessions could be cut down a bit.
It does take up two paragraphs, which is long, but it is significant. It conveys the way the
writer is contemplating his faith as a Catholic. It expresses that god wouldnt make
people go through leaps and bounds to believe in him. To develop the reflection more the
idea about moral values can have more examples of types of values. They could then be
compared to religious values and values of everyday life that arent religious. Another
idea that could be developed more is the paragraph about high school and receiving
Confirmation. It could be compared or contrasted to the experience of Confessions. It
could include examples of how other students felt about it. The coherence was pretty well
put together. It followed a sequence from childhood to adolescence. It could find a better
transition from the paragraph about confirmation to the paragraph comparing all of the
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external sources. One of the sources was introduced in high school, but the other two
werent and they are in the same paragraph. The dialogue in the beginning of the essay
about not wanting to go to church and the dialogue with the priest during Confessions in
the middle of the essay kept me interested. It could have been more engaging towards the
ending paragraphs because there wasnt much dialogue or examples of experience. The
parts of the essay that showed visuals and dialogue contributed the most to the reflection.
The relevance of the Confessions paragraph could be explained a bit more.
My revision process for the essay started out with a couple outline drafts that had
my main ideas. I spent time rearranging themes so that they followed a time sequence
from childhood till now. I then wrote a rough draft essay to get my thoughts down. I then
went over it and paid attention to where I could add more detail and which parts started to
lose my interest. I tried to add dialogue or an experience to those parts to become more
lively. After that I had my girlfriend and my brother read the essay out loud to me. We
tried to work out the parts that didnt flow so smoothly. After that we went through it
again to look for parallel structure, if I used it correctly or if I could add it in.


Leap of Faith

It was early Sunday morning and my brother and I are starting to conduct our
daily ritual of watching weekend cartoons. Our favorite shows were on back-to-back:
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Ghost Busters. We dreaded the fact that Sundays
meant we had to go to church, which we complained about every weekend. Just as the
good part of the show came on I can hear my mom yell from the back room, Nicholas
and Julian, its time to get ready for church! We both looked at each other and sighed. I
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immediately suggested, Mom, Dad, how about we just sleep in and have a nice
breakfast? My Mom replied, Boys you go to Catholic school dont you? You have to
pay your respects to god and thank him for what he has given us. You have to show your
faith. My brother and I both shrugged and said, We dont want to go; we go to church
every Sunday. My Dad chimed in, Thats just the point. We go every Sunday. You
boys are going! If you dont, then dont expect to watch T.V., play video games, or play
soccer. Those were our favorite activities at the time, so we both ran to our rooms and
quickly got dressed.
During my life, my immediate family has always acknowledged Roman
Catholicism as our religious affiliation. As I grew up I was baptized as an infant, received
First Communion as a child, and received Confirmation as an adolescent. My maternal
grandparents were practicing Roman Catholics and my paternal grandparents were semi-
practicing Roman Catholic Church members. Of course, my parents made us attend
church because we were a family and we were suppose to express our faith. Despite our
differences, my parents have always modeled and encouraged behavior of the highest
moral ability. I believe this has taken well into my character. I may not have the same
beliefs regarding god and religion that other people have, but I consider myself a good
person with extremely high moral values. I practice these myself and I encourage these
values in others. I have come to realize, it doesnt matter what type of religious
background you come from as long as you keep your faith.
During my childhood, both my parents insisted on keeping an open mind
concerning most issues. They did agree to send my brother and I to Catholic school for
both elementary and high school, not only because we are Catholic but also because the
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Pasadena school district is one of the worst. My parents believe a good education is what
matters most in todays age. I attended St. Ritas, in Sierra Madre for elementary school;
we did have a few nuns and priests as teachers. Luckily they didnt hit our knuckles with
rulers or force us to write with our right hands as most people portray Catholic schools. I
was happy about that because I am left-handed.
We did start to read the Bible at a young age. Yes, were forced to read it, but I
read some passages myself that I thought were interesting. At that time, I saw it as a
collection of stories modeling good values and behavior. Some of the stories from the
Bible did rattle my faith even at a young age. There were not only stories of a fearful god,
who would punish you if you didnt follow his rules but also fantasy stories about David
and Goliath and Noahs Arc. I was always contemplating if I actually believed in these
stories and the religion or if my parents and teachers just forced me. I also felt afraid, that
god would punish me if I didnt follow what he said in the Bible. It is hard for a kid to
decide what to take seriously from Bible readings. I believe that the attitude at this time,
in religious communities, was that it should be taken at full face value. It is interesting to
understand that this perspective is changing in many communities. Many church officials
and followers are now speaking of the Bible in the same terms as I originally saw it.
Many Catholic priests now refer to the Bible as a series of parables, with associated
morals and values, rather than a history of true events.
The experience of Confessions made me ponder why I was Catholic. This was a
ceremony, which we had to tell the priest our sins. We had to do this for two months
before we received our First Communion; the whole process was terrifying. When you go
to church on Sundays there is music, tons of people, and bright lights, but when you go to
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Confessions no one is there, expect you, your classmates, and the teacher. You walk into
the shadowy church and the interior of St Ritas is made of wood that slowly creeps up
the sides of the plastered walls to the roof, which reminded me of a large, webbed rib
cage of some prehistoric creature. It is completely silent as you wait for your turn to enter
the wooden confessionals that look like mini jail cells. Some kids would be so afraid they
would refuse to go into the confessional and sat in the pews till it was over. I felt like we
were being tortured.
There were two priests that conducted the service, Father Gara, who none of us
liked because he was mean and strict, and Father Cokus, who everyone prayed they got
because he was kind and understanding. Just my luck, I would get Father Gara every
time. It was my turn to confess my sins so I slowly walked into the dark prison-like box
and knelt down. You cant see much in there expect a perforated screen, with the eerie
silhouette of the priests face, which added to the scary, solitary confinement feel of the
confessional box. The words trembled from my lips, Bless me Father for I have sinned.
It has been two weeks since my last confession. This was mandatory before you began
to tell him your sins. Father Gara said, Just spit it out boy, what are you so afraid of? In
a squeaky voice, I began to tell him my sins, which were almost always the same. I fight
with my brother, I use curse words, and I am disrespectful to my parents. In a booming
voice he said, For your penance say ten Hail Marys and 5 Our Fathers. At this point I
am trying to walk out as quickly as possible, but cant because my legs are trembling so
fiercely. Every time I thought, Why am I doing this? Why am I Catholic? Why cant I
just tell god my sins myself in a private prayer? I just didnt see why god would force us
to do such a thing, when he is supposed to be kind and all knowing.
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When I got to high school, the whole religion thing became much less intense. I
attended La Salle High School. It was a Catholic school, but there was only one Brother
who taught Latin, and we only had to go to mass once a month. This was a change from
going twice a week in elementary school. There were also many students who were not
Catholic and I was able to experience different religious backgrounds. My freshman year
was when I received the Sacrament of Confirmation. This is a Catholic ceremony, which
confirms your faith as a Catholic. I felt a little forced into it, but it seemed like the right
thing to do. I knew I believed in something. Everyone who was Catholic in my class
received their Confirmation; I felt it necessary for me to do so as well.
For a World Religions class my sophomore year, we had to read the
autobiography, The Seven Storey Mountain, by Thomas Merton. It talked about his quest
for faith and his conversion into the Catholic Church. He stated, What can we gain by
sailing to the moon if we are not able to cross the abyss that separates us from ourselves?
This is the most important of all voyages of discovery, and without it, all the rest are not
only useless, but disastrous. This really stuck with me. It helped me to reflect on what it
meant to be Catholic and how important it is to find yourself. It expresses that you
cant leave this world until you fully immerse yourself in it. This relates to Pipher in
chapter 2 Know Thyself. She says, Our writing comes from our being. The more we
know about ourselves, the more interesting our writing becomes. If you write what you
believe in, your ideas are presented more clearly. We can express our moral outlook,
whether it is religion, school, sports, or certain events we have experienced, through our
writing. This is our gift, but we can only give it if we know who we are. Certain
experiences shape us just as Rodriguez conveys in, Always Running. He has grown up as
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a gang member, but found a way out through writing. He hoped to leave it all behind
until his son joined a gang. He had to tell his own story to truly find himself and fight for
the future of his son. He believes if you have a story that is worth telling, then you should
write it. It may change someones life.
During my youth I read plenty of books, and was interested in science and
mathematics. The genre I preferred was fiction and fantasy. This extensive reading has
shaped my thinking of the universe to a large degree. It emphasizes new ways to look at
traditional situations, and presents new ideas for reflection. Considering the universe
beyond our own planet and considering the opportunities for life elsewhere, it seems to
me that the views of many religions are exaggerated. Einstein states in The World As I
See It, [that it is this] experience of the mysterious, which has engaged much of the
art, science, religion, and many other aspects of human history He proposes, If there
is any such concept of a god, it is a subtle spirit I was mesmerized when I first read
this, and as a result read many views on religion by Einstein, but this is my favorite. It
expresses my own personal views, that there are things in the universe that are
unexplainable and can evoke such feelings of wonder in humankind. Most of these
religions throughout history have taken these feelings and interpreted them within a
framework that gods have created all natural occurrences. It is this interpretation of the
unknown, of which I remain unconvinced. It is difficult for me to accept these concepts
from each religion that it, and it alone, is the divine truth. There is nothing wrong in
saying, we dont know the truth. I am pleased to know that one of the current beliefs of
the Catholic Church is to live in harmony with other religions. I hope this view spreads to
other world religions, which insist on violence.
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I have considered the ideas of religion and god many times through my life, and I
am definitely not atheist. I cant convince myself that everything just happened, as many
scientists believe nor can I convince myself there is an almighty god, controlling
everything. Other common images of god are also difficult for me to except, such as the
Feared God, or God the Great Creator. No one has ever seen god, instead people
must rely on their own interpretations and experiences related to the stories in the Bible. I
may have been born and raised Catholic, but I dont believe that matters to me any more.
I dont attend mass much or read the Bible. It doesnt matter what you believe in as long
as you treat others the way you want to be treated and have faith.

Work Cited
Rodriguez, J. Luis. Always Running. New York: Simon & Schuster,1993. Print

Einstein, Albert. The World As I See I t. New York: Citadel, 2006. Print.

Merton, Thomas. The Seven Storey Mountain. New York: Harcourt, Brace, 1948.
Print.