"Womanize" - Contents

1. I want Love in my life.................................................................................................................................................................... 2

2. On Becoming A High Status Male, Now.......................................................................................................................................
!. Healing "he Inne#$%om&laine#..................................................................................................................................................... '
(. Neve# )n*e#estimate "he Stu++o#nness Of ,enial................................................................................................................... 12
-. .omani/ing "he Basics............................................................................................................................................................. 20
. 1isuali/e 1e#sus 2antasi/e........................................................................................................................................................ 2!
3. "he )&&e# One 4e#cent Of Men................................................................................................................................................. !!
'. Stu&i*ity with a small 5s5.............................................................................................................................................................. !
6. ,ivine stu&i*ity........................................................................................................................................................................... (0
10. "#ou+leshoot Not...................................................................................................................................................................... (!
11. 4ic7u& in Slow Motion.............................................................................................................................................................. ('
12. )nveiling "he 8go5s Hat#e*9:esentment Of .omen............................................................................................................... -2
1!. ,oing 1e#sus Being.................................................................................................................................................................. -3
1(. %ommunication S7ills............................................................................................................................................................... 1
1-. "he .olves, Sna7es, an* ,inosau#s....................................................................................................................................... !
1. Shyness 1e#sus Silence........................................................................................................................................................... 3
13. "he 5Meaning5 Behin* 2emale 8motions An* Behavio#........................................................................................................... 30
1'. Healing "he 8go9Ba+y.............................................................................................................................................................. 3-
16. ;en "#aining............................................................................................................................................................................. 36
20. Man$:age................................................................................................................................................................................. '2
21. Healing "he Bo*y$Image.......................................................................................................................................................... ''
22. :eview Of "he Basics.............................................................................................................................................................. 62
2!. "he Sol*ie# An* "he Innocent Boy........................................................................................................................................... 6-
2(. "he St#uctu#e of Humo#............................................................................................................................................................ 66
2-. A&&#eciation An* Love 2o# Allness........................................................................................................................................ 10!
2. Sloth, Inne# %onflict, An* Oute# <ame................................................................................................................................... 103
23. :eal =nighthoo* ,ynamics.................................................................................................................................................... 112
2'. I Love My Stu&i* Little Life..................................................................................................................................................... 11'
26. Se>ual 8scalation................................................................................................................................................................... 12!
!0. "he .heat 2#om "he %haff.................................................................................................................................................... 1!0
1. I want Love in my life
I5m hono#e* that you woul* ta7e the time to lea#n something li7e this f#om me. ?Integ#ity$+ase* .omani/ing? is an
inte#esting @an* &e#ha&s st#angeA thing to go a#oun* teaching. 2o# one thing, it can +e #athe# em+a##assing to have
to lea#n this 7in* of thing. So, I5m always im&#esse* wheneve# guys can a*mit that they nee* hel&, es&ecially on
such a ?touchy? su+Bect li7e this one. :eali/e that many men will suffe# in silent *e&#ession fo# the #est of thei# lives
#athe# than a*mit they nee* hel& an* +egin to actively wo#7 on themselves. ,enial is &o&ula#.
I #emem+e# the well$7nown ,#. Cohn ,iamon* @of 7inesiology fameA mentione* in one of his +oo7s that in all of his
yea#s of wo#7ing with &eo&le fo# a va#iety of #easons, only a+out 10D of those who show u& fo# the#a&y actually
want to get +ette#. "he othe# 60D &#efe# to cling to illusions of 5victimhoo*5, +ecause, afte# all, 5victimhoo*5 &ays in
ou# society. .e get all 7in*s of won*e#ful +enefits fo# &laying the victim E we get to whine an* com&lain, we get to
&#eten* that ou# &#o+lems a#e not ou# own c#eation an* #es&onsi+ility, an* we get &ity an* sym&athy f#om simila#
wea7$min*e* &eo&le. @Acco#*ing to ,#. ,avi* :. Haw7ins,I have Bust #oughly *esc#i+e* a+out '-D of the wo#l*5s
&o&ulation.A
In Alcoholics Anonymous, the ve#y fi#st ste& is one has to +e willing to a*mit the t#uth that they have a &#o+lem, that
they a#e #es&onsi+le fo# that &#o+lem, an* that without the hel& f#om <o* o# a Highe# 4owe#, they will neve# +e a+le
to get off alcohol on thei# own. If a &e#son can a*mit the t#uth of this, it ta7es them to Integ#ity. .ithout a +asic state
of Integ#ity, the#e #eally is no ho&e +ecause thei# ,enial will +e too thic7 an* im&enet#a+le.
So *o we have to +elieve in <o*, o# whatF
Is it #eally necessa#y to +elieve in <o* in o#*e# to +e a fun*amentally honest an* integ#ous human +eing who is
ca&a+le of t#ue LoveF
.ell, +efo#e we loo7 at the answe#, it +ecomes im&o#tant to *efine what ?<o*? is, an* &e#ha&s mo#e im&o#tantly,
what <o* is not. "he Bu**ha tol* &eo&le not to use the <$wo#* +ecause the#e a#e too many *isto#tions an*
human$li7e &#oBections &lace* u&on <o*. 2#eu* mentione* that <o* is the ultimate #e&osito#yG that is, to use a
com&ute# te#m, we humans ten* to 5cut an* &aste5 the *ownsi*e of ou# ego9min*9&e#sonality ?u& the#e? an* onto
<o*.
If the <$wo#* *oesn5t sit well with you, we can always su+stitute it fo# the te#m, 5consciousness5 instea*. I #eally li7e
that wo#* +ecause it hasn5t +een &ollute* with slan*e#ous human &#oBections o# #eligious *ogma. "he#efo#e, 7now
that wheneve# I use the te#m <o*, I am #efe##ing to the infinite fiel* of consciousness9awa#eness an* not a &e#son
who sits on a th#one in a heaven that is somewhe#e else in time an* &lace. <o* an* %onsciousness a#e one an*
the same thing. Love an* <o* a#e one an* the same thing. Silence an* <o* a#e one an* the same thing. If you
listen intently to the Silence, you will 7now <o* ve#y #a&i*ly. "he Silence will ma7e you c#y tea#s of Boy, that5s a fact.
"o*ay5s lesson has to *o with a*mitting the t#uth that without Love, you5#e *oome*. "he#e has to +e a willingness to
a*mit that the intellect is not enough to satisfy you an* ma7e you ha&&y. No# is it enough fo# t#ue .omani/ing.
"hat is, all of the &ain, suffe#ing, sic7ness, &ove#ty, sta#vation, c#iminality, +#o7en #elationshi&s, a**ictions...
eve#ything ungo*ly in this wo#l* an* in ou# &e#sonal lives always +oils *own to a lac7 of Love. All of the issues we
have with women E fea# of a&&#oaching, fea# of #eBection, fea# of humiliation, low self$wo#th, se>ual issues, an* so
on all have one thing in common. .he#e the#e is suffe#ing, the#e is a lac7 of Love.
"he ave#age &e#son lac7s the conscious awa#eness of Love.
"his is a &#etty t#agi$comical fact +ecause in :eality, only Love has any e>istence at all. "he enti#e )nive#se an*
eve#y atomic &a#ticle that ma7es u& the Allness of <o* is... Love.
It is not &ossi+le fo# non$love to have any e>istence whatsoeve#, +ut, it is &ossi+le fo# a human +eing to sim&ly +e
unawa#e of the e>istence of Love as Allness *ue to his &e#ce&tual limitations. Man7in* is #unning a#oun* t#ying to
fin* love ?out the#e? an* *oesn5t yet #eali/e that Love is eve#ywhe#e &#esent at all times an* in all situations without
e>ce&tion. Man7in* is li7e a homeless +um sitting on a suitcase full of money, who *oesn5t even 7now he is sitting
on a suitcase full of money. He thin7s it5s Bust a stu&i* suitcase an* *oesn5t +othe# to loo7 within it. His &e#ce&tion is
flawe*G he naively assumes the suitcase is em&ty when it is fa# f#om that.
Man7in* is Bust as ?stu&i*? as that homeless +um, +ut, the &#o+lem is Huite easy to co##ect with a ce#tain inne#
*ete#mination an* &#o&e# gui*ance.
Love is a #ecent eme#gence on &lanet ea#th. An* +y that, I mean Love has always +een an* will always +e,
howeve#, only #ecently has man7in* even +egun to sc#atch the su#face an* +ecome awa#e of the &#esence of Love
within an* without.
"he ve#y fi#st #eal eme#gence of the awa#eness of Love occu##e* in mothe#s who ten* to thei# young. Mothe#hoo*
was the ve#y fi#st a&&ea#ance of the conscious awa#eness of the invisi+le fiel* of Love, +oth in ce#tain animals an*
in humanity.
:omantic Love is also a #ecent eme#gence on this &lanetG it is only a few hun*#e* yea#s ol*. In the ol* *ays, &eo&le
ma##ie* fo# &owe#, secu#ity, &#estige E not fo# Love. Men *i* not s&en* much time with thei# women, othe# than to
mate with them. Men &#efe##e* to +on* with othe# men via hunting, fishing, +uil*ing, *est#oying, an* es&ecially,
*#in7ing.
"he *#un7 man 7nows what Love is, t#uly. "his is +ecause alcohol ?*#owns out? significant &o#tions of the
ego9min*5s &e#ce&tual filte#s fo# the awa#eness of Love to occu#. Alcohol #emoves man5s ?+lin*e#s? so that he may
come to see an* e>&e#ience the Love an* Light of <o*. "he *#un7en homeless guy on the st#eet Loves <o* sooo
much that he *#an7 himself into homelessness, *isease an* &ove#ty out of Love fo# Him. Not 7nowing how to
access Love via his natu#al state, you might say he *iscove#e* <o* in a +ottle of whis7ey. An*, the 4#esence of the
Love of <o* is so sweet, so ,ivine, an* so *ee&ly satisfying that most of the &eo&le who *iscove# *#in7ing neve#
Huit the ha+it. .hy woul* theyF .hy shoul* theyF "hat woul* +e li7e Huitting <o*, an* no+o*y in thei# #ight min*
woul* Huit on <o* once they5ve taste* His Love, so to s&ea7.
"his !0$*ay &#og#am is a+out getting *#un7 on <o*5s Love without the nee* fo# +oo/e. "he man who *iscove#s the
inne# *#un7en Coy that is always &#esent at eve#y moment of each *ay can have Bust a+out any woman he fancies
fo# himself, t#uly. )nless she is se#iously &sychologically ill in some way, no woman can #esist a man who #a*iates
&u#e Love. "hat woul* +e li7e #eBecting <o*, an* #a#ely *o &eo&le #eBect <o* once they5ve taste* His sweetness.
Cust as the *#un7 man #a#ely #eBects +oo/e once he5s taste* Love, when a woman gets *#un7 f#om the Love of a
t#ue .omani/e#, it is Huite #a#e that she woul* actually #efuse that Love.
"hose who #efuse <o* eventually go insane. .itness the &sych wa#*s, the schi/o&h#enics, the se#ial 7ille#s, chil*
&o#nog#a&he#s, the sic7, *ying, an* &ove#ty$#i**en &o&ulace in &laces li7e Af#ica, the Mi**le 8ast, o# Haiti. "hose
a#e Bust a few of the most well$7nown e>am&les of those who a#e not awa#e of the &#esence of Love within an* all
a#oun* them. "he lac7 of the awa#eness of Love lea*s to insanity an* *eath, an* as histo#y has shown us, the
wo#l* has actually +een in a state of wa# a+out 6!D of the time in ou# #eco#*e* histo#y. "he wo#l* me#ely lac7s the
awa#eness of Love, *oesn5t itF If the wo#l* we#e *#un7 on <o*5s Love all wa#s woul* come to an en*. "he men on
the +attlefiel*s woul* all su**enly +liss out an* sta#t c#ying tea#s of Boy.
"hose who i*entify themselves with &#i*e95victimhoo*5 a#e unconsciously +laming <o* fo# what the ego has *one to
them. It isn5t <o* that is #es&onsi+le fo# ma7ing this wo#l* the way it is, +ut the human ego. "hat is, the min*5s faulty
&e#ce&tion is to 5+lame5, in that it is f#eHuently una+le to #ecogni/e that the Sou#ce of one5s 8>istence comes f#om
<o* an* not f#om the ego. "o #ecogni/e an* intuit the Sou#ce of one5s own 8>istence is to 7now <o* an* to
the#efo#e 7now Love itself. "hose who suffe# f#om innume#a+le afflictions a#e me#ely suffe#ing +ecause thei#
&e#ce&tual filte#s a#e &#eventing o# +loc7ing them f#om #eali/ing that they come f#om <o* an* a#e the#efo#e innately
?+uilt? out of ,ivine Love. 8ve#y single as&ect of one5s +o*y, min*, soul, an* S&i#it actually, factually, an* lite#ally is
&u#e Love. But again, human &e#ce&tion f#eHuently &#eclu*es one f#om +eing a+le to see the t#uth of this sim&le
statement. Human &e#ce&tion is so &owe#ful that it can ma7e even a +eautiful woman seem ugly an* wo#thless.
8ven a ?ten? can see he#self as +eing so ugly an* ?fat? that she *evelo&s ano#e>ia, +ulimia, insanity, an* actually
*ies +ecause of he# min*5s faulty &e#ce&tionI
Although society +elieves that 4#i*e is a goo* thing, it is actually the &#ima#y &e#ce&tual filte#, o# &#og#am, going on
within the human min* which &#eclu*es the awa#eness of Love an* it5s accom&anying sweet, *#un7en, *ivine
Boyfulness.
"he way to get off suffe#ing is to get off of human 4#i*e.
As 4#i*e is t#anscen*e*, let go of, an* heale*, Love automatically an* s&ontaneously ta7es its &lace.
4#i*e is at the #oot of all suffe#ing, an* on a s&i#itual level, 4#i*e is sim&ly the #efusal to a*mit that the Sou#ce of
one5s Life comes f#om <o* an* not f#om the animal +o*y an* ego9min*. By analogy, 4#i*e is li7e the light +ul+
claiming c#e*it fo# the light, even though it is o+vious to eve#yone that elect#icity is the t#ue Sou#ce of it5s Light. So
fo# now, let us say that <o* is the elect#icity, o# Life ene#gy, o# 57un*alini5 @s&i#itualA ene#gy that illuminates an*
gives life to the +o*y, min*, soul, an* S&i#it. Although the ego naively claims c#e*it fo# its e>istence an* its life, the
ve#y fi#st ste& fo# #eaching +asic Integ#ity is to a*mit the t#uth that the Sou#ce of one5s own 8>istence *oesn5t come
f#om 5you5 @i.e., the +o*y$min*A +ut comes f#om <o*.
Life comes f#om Life, an* not f#om the human min*. "he human *i* not c#eate itself, +ut was %#eate*.
It was not %#eate* f#om a 5&e#sonal5 <o*, +ut f#om an im&e#sonal <o* of Love. <o*, Love, Life, Coy, Silence, an*
%onte>t all mean the same thing, i.e., <o*.
.ithout this +asic willingness to #elinHuish 4#i*e, the#e is nothing I can *o to hel& anyone with anything, es&ecially
when it comes to getting thei# Love lives han*le*. Although this is a sim&le thing to a*mit, in t#uth, #oughly '-D of
humanity has yet to a*mit this +asic thing. Oh su#e, many have ?&a##ote*? wo#*s an* hol* many e#u*ite an* &ious
soun*ing o&inions an* +eliefs, +ut to since#ely a*mit that the Sou#ce of one5s 8>istence is <o* @an* the#efo#e Love
itselfA is ve#y *iffe#ent than having a #eligious +elief.
"he Sou#ce of one5s Life is <o*, an* this is not *iffe#ent f#om Love. "he Sou#ce of one5s ve#y e>istence is Love
itself. "he#e is no such thing as non$love, +ut the#e a#e in*ee* *eg#ees of the conscious awa#eness of the all$
&e#vasive 4#esence of Love. Some &eo&le a#e Bust mo#e awa#e of Love than othe#s, that5s all. .hat society calls
?evil? is #eally Bust a *esc#i&tive te#m that means, ?Lac7ing in the awa#eness of Love.? 4eo&le a#en5t evil, Bust un$
evolve*, unawa#e, o# 5aslee&5. Human &e#ce&tion is li7e a nightma#e that one must *esi#e to awa7en f#om.
.ithout the +asic *esi#e to awa7en f#om the house of mi##o#s of ou# e>t#emely limite* human &e#ce&tion, then the#e
is no ho&e. As7 you#self if you #eally want to awa7en f#om you# nightma#e. "he *esi#e has to +e st#ong. "he#e has
to +e a ce#tain amount of #i&eness, if you will, to +#ea7 you# *enial which is +ase* on 4#i*e.
If you want to t#uly succee* with women an* Love, you must ove#come you# ,enial an* +ecome willing to feel you#
inne# agony. "he lac7 of Love in one5s life is t#uly agoni/ing E the#e is nothing wo#se than a lac7 of Love. 4e#ha&s it
can +e sai* that if you haven5t c#ie* while lying in +e* late at night ove# you# limitations with women an* with Love,
then you a#en5t yet ?#i&e? enough fo# an intensive life$changing &#og#am such as this one. "he willingness to a*mit
the *ee& &ain that you feel *ue to a se#ious lac7 of Love in you# life is the ve#y fi#st ste&.
?<et off you# *enial, let you# &#i*e *ie fo# <o*.?
"his is the one single lesson that nee*s to +e su##en*e#e* to, an* if you allow me, I will +e you# gui*e ove# these
ne>t !0 *ays. I will t#y to +e as gentle as I can, yet I will lovingly *istu#+ you# na#cissism f#om time to time in a
somewhat conf#ontive manne#. .hen a f#ien* is having a nightma#e, whis&e#ing softly fo# him to wa7e u& is not
enoughG at times, &eo&le nee* to +e ?sha7en? u& to +e ?wa7en? u&I
My intention isn5t to #ag on you o# to &ut you *own, no# *o I wish to con*escen* you. But that sai*, having wo#7e*
with men in the a#ea of *ating an* #elationshi&s, I5ve only met a few guys that I5* even want to +e f#ien*s with. "he
#est of them a#e too ?fa# gone?G thei# *enial is too thic7, in most cases, to ma7e them f#ien*$wo#thy. "hey lac7
cou#age, consi*e#ation, em&athy, wa#mth, an* es&ecially humo#.
"he way to a woman5s hea#t is to have he# falling *own on the floo# in u&#oa#ious laughte#. )nless you can ma7e
he# ?&iss he# &ants? E fo#get a+out it. She5ll neve# t#uly fall in Love with you +ecause the#e5s nothing fo# he# to #eally
latch onto an* fall in love with.
)nless you can lea#n to s&ea7 in a way that can get a woman c#ying within the fi#st 20 minutes of you# tal7ing to he#
E fo#get it, man. Jou won5t enBoy the 7in* of success I enBoy... sa* +ut t#ue. Jou nee* to +e a+le to let you# 4#i*eful
gua#* *own enough to t#uly enBoy life. Only then will you 7now how to &enet#ate a woman5s hea#t in a &owe#ful way.
Jou can5t *o this +y +eing sma#t, cleve#, o# intellectual.
Jou# min* will get you nowhe#e with women fast. It5ll ta7e you st#aight to hell +ecause it is the w#ong maste# to
follow. "he min* is not who you a#e, no# it is you# ?f#ien*.? I woul*n5t call it an enemy, +ut I ce#tainly woul*n5t call it a
f#ien* eithe#. "his is +ecause the min* is a loveless animal. :emem+e#, Love *oesn5t come f#om the &e#sonal self,
it *oesn5t come f#om the intellect, it comes f#om <o*. "he#efo#e, you must +e willing to tu#n away f#om wo#shi&ing
the min* an* naively thin7ing that it is you# Savio#. One of the comman*ments is, ?"hou shalt have no othe# go*s
+efo#e Me? an* it is a se#ious comman*ment that a+solutely must +e followe*.
,o not +e ala#me* an* *o not feel guilty. Jou# min* was *esigne* to +e the way it is. It is 5su&&ose*5 to +e +ase*
on na#cissistic &#i*e. "he#efo#e, it is unwise to get into a 5thing a+out5 &#i*e o# to #esent &#i*e. .hen seen fo# what it
is, &#i*e is Bust a limitation to go +eyon*, an* not a cu#se.
"he wo#l* wo#shi&s thei# own hea*, an* this is why the wo#l* lac7s Love an* suffe#s so much. Some thin7, ?If I only
*evelo& my min* enough, I5ll +e a+le to get eve#ything I want out of life.? An e*ucation is one thing, +ut a *ee&ly
fulfilling Love Life is anothe#. Success in the wo#l* is one thing, +ut success with women is Huite anothe#, in*ee*.
"he#efo#e, to*ay5s homewo#7 is sim&le an* e>t#emely *evastatingly &owe#ful. Jou a#e to ma7e a committe*
*ecisionK
?I t#uly want Love in my life.?
Most &eo&le a#e &athetic *a++le#sI An* ve#y inte#estingly, this can +e es&ecially t#ue with the so$calle* mainst#eam
?s&i#itual? &eo&le. "hat is, they5ll #ea* hun*#e*s of +oo7s an* invest a million hou#s in stu*y, yet they consistently
fail to ma7e the one c#itical *ecision which is to sto& wo#shi&ing thei# own min*s an* to sta#t wo#shi&ing <o* as
Love instea*. "he human min* is e>t#emely #esistant to letting go of its illusions of na#cissistic &#i*e as an
o+session with 5me5 an* 5my5 self an* 5my5 thoughts an* 5my5 limitations an* 5I thin75 this an* 5I have5 an o&inion. "he
na#cissistic self$in*ulgence &atte#n is Huite lite#ally the only human &#o+lem. It clings on me#ely +ecause it is af#ai*.
"he min* is an innocent, fea#ful chil*.
?I t#uly want Love in my life.?
=ic7 this sentence a#oun* in you# min* to*ay. %ontem&late it. .o#shi& it. ,evote you#self to it. Love it.
,o you t#uly want Love in you# lifeF
,on5t Bust say ?yesI? +ecause it is the ?#ight? thing to say. Notice you# *enial of Love also. Jou see, the *ecision to
choose Love is going to +#ing u& all of the 5non$love5 that is still within you. "he *ecision to choose Love is going to
+#ing u& you# fea#s, you# wo##ies, you# guilt, you# shame, you# hat#e*, you# #esentment, you# g#ee*, you# la/iness,
an* mo#e. Notice how these a#e all na#cissistic ?&#o+lems? #ega#*ing 5me5 an* 5my5 fea#s an* 5me5 an* 5my5 guilt. So
&e#ha&s the ve#y fi#st way to *iscove# Love is to fo#get 5me5 an* 5my5 issues an* *iscove# selflessness, fo#
selflessness an* Love a#e one an* the same.
If you can, s&en* the *ay *oing selfless things fo# othe#s. "he i*ea is to sto& wo##ying a+out 5me5 an* 5I5 an* sta#t
wo##ying a+out how to #elive the suffe#ing of man7in*.
"he#e is a f#uit an* vegeta+le sto#e that my wife an* I a#e loyal to. .e *on5t +uy f#uits L veggies anywhe#e else
+ecause we want to su&&o#t this ha#*wo#7ing, integ#ous family who #uns it. Jou 7now, they lite#ally &lace thei#
&#o*ucts out in the sunshine fo# !0 minutes eve#y mo#ning, +efo#e &lacing them on the *is&lay shelfF "hey say that
it gives the f#uits an* vegeta+les mo#e Life. "hey a#e saying, ?.e a#e infusing ou# &#o*ucts with Love +ecause we
Love ou# custome#s.?
My wife an* I sta#te* saving the sty#ofoam containe#s that ou# f#uits L veggies a#e w#a&&e* u& in. .e collecte*
them all summe#, an* then we +#ought them +ac7 to the f#uit sto#e an* gave them to this family so that they coul*
save a few &ennies an* #ecycle the mate#ials.
.o#*s cannot e>&#ess the loo7 of ha&&iness they +eame* at us. It wasn5t the &lastic containe#s, +ut the fact that
we thought selflessly a+out them an* wante* to se#ve them. .hen they #eali/e* Bust how much we Love an*
a&&#eciate them, tea#s we#e she* on +oth si*es.
=ee& you# eye on the +all no matte# what. It isn5t ?women? that you want, it is Love. "he women will th#ow
themselves at you when you 7now how to &#o&e#ly an* com&letely an* un#ese#ve*ly Love them. =ee& you# eye on
the +all no matte# what. Jou min* will often #esist the sim&le *ecla#ative statement, ?I t#uly want Love in my life.?
Allow it to #esist. Jou# min* comes f#om the animal 7ing*om, an* it fea#s Love. Allow it to fea# an* #esist Love.
,on5t i*entify with you# min* anymo#e. It isn5t 5you5, it is Bust an o#ganic com&ute#. .hateve# you# min* says to*ay,
*on5t #esist it, an* *on5t wo##y a+out it eithe#. Cust allow you# min* to +e a min*. In this way, you5ll get it wo#7ing fo#
you, instea* of against you. Jou can t#ain it to +ehave li7e a goo* min* shoul* +ehave. It5s Bust a matte# of t#uly
ma7ing that one *ecla#ative *ecision, no matte# what, that you t#uly want Love in you# life an* will sto& at nothing to
succee* in this &#og#essive *iscove#y ove# these ne>t !0 *ays an* +eyon*.
=ee& you# eye on the +all to*ay, an* #e&eat the sim&le contem&lative statement, ?I t#uly want Love in my life.? "his
will +egin to #e&#og#am an* heal the min* on +oth conscious an* unconscious levels. It will heal the min* in *ue
time. "hin7 of this *ecla#ative statement as a fi#m *ecision. Jou5#e setting you# inte#nal com&ass, you# Hea#t
%ha7#a, towa#* the *i#ection on the ma& calle* )ncon*itional Love. @"#ue Love is without con*itions o#
e>&ectations f#om anything o# anyone. It gives f#uit sto#e owne#s thei# &lastic containe#s +ac7 fo# no #eason. Love is
without #easons.A
It is usually easy fo# us to +e 7in* to st#ange#s, +ut to +e 7in* to ou#selves is a *iffe#ent sto#y. "he main #eason we
lac7 Love in ou# lives, f#an7ly, is *ue to ou# lac7 of 7in*ness. An* we lac7 7in*ness +ecause we5ve all +een
i*entifie* with the min*. "he min* E +y its ve#y *esign E is not ca&a+le of t#ue 7in*ness, of t#ue Love... without
s&ecial t#aining an* ,ivine assistance. "he#efo#e, as you hol* ?I t#uly want Love in my life? in min* to*ay, whateve#
you# min* says, Bust +e 7in* to it. =in*ness towa#*s you# own min* will +#ea7 you# i*entification with it. Be 7in* no
matte# what an* without a single e>ce&tion. If you ma7e a mista7e, +e 7in* to the mista7e that was ma*e. If you
notice you5#e f#ust#ate* towa#*s you# self, +ecome 7in*, in that ve#y moment, to the f#ust#ation itself. If you notice
some guilt o# self$con*emnation, in that ve#y instant that you notice it, +ecome 7in* towa#*s it.
,o you see how this wo#7s yetF By +eing 7in* towa#*s you# own min*, you5#e al#ea*y out of it. "he one who is 7in*
is not the same as the min*. =in*ness +#ea7s you# na#cissistic i*entification with the min*G a most c#itical ste& to
ma7e, in*ee*. =in*ness silences the min*.
?I t#uly want Love in my life.?
Hol* this in min* wheneve# you can, such as when you5#e stan*ing in line at the +an7, o# *oing the *ishes, o#
watching comme#cials on "1. Cust 7ic7 it a#oun* in you# min*, an* *on5t *o anything else... allow <o* to *o the
#est. Jou# intention, you# *ecla#ative affi#mation is what matte#s he#e. Jou can5t fo#ce it, Bust as you can5t fo#ce a
ga#*en to g#ow. Cust wate# you# ga#*en an* let <o* wo##y a+out the #est. "he statement, ?I t#uly want Love in my
life? is the wate#. "he #esult is u& to <o*, an* you# willingness to su##en*e# &#i*e9*enial an* Bust *o this sim&le
wo#7.
=now that as I teach, I am +eing taught. "hat is, as I w#ite a+out Love, my own na#cissistic #esi*uals a#e +eing
heale*. I too7 this ?Bo+? +ecause I wante* to +e imme#se* in Love all *ay long. I wante* to sto& o+sessing a+out
5me5 an* all of 5my5 &#o+lems an* wo##ies an* lea#n to focus on an* Love my stu*ents instea*. In fo#getting a+out
myself, I allow <o* to heal me automatically. Love heals when na#cissistic self$o+session moves out of the way.
"hus, +y 5o+sessing5 ove# the &#o+lems of men an* s&en*ing thousan*s u&on thousan*s of hou#s wo#7ing out how
to hel& them, an* coming u& with new ways of saying the ve#y same things a+out Love, <o*, an* the wo#shi& of
the feminine, my ego moves out of <o*5s way an* allows Love to flow th#ough me an* out to the wo#l*. In teaching
an* se#ving man7in*, one lea#ns that they a#e a self$cleaning oven. Na#cissism t#ies to clean one5s own oven +y
o+sessing an* wo##ying a+out 5me5 an* 5my5 oven, meanwhile, +y wo##ying a+out loving an* se#ving othe#s instea*,
the oven cleans itself. A silly analogy, yes, +ut a t#uthful one.
I ho&e I haven5t +een too #ough on you to*ay. Afte# so many yea#s of wo#7ing with guys in this a#ea, I5ve come to a
&oint in my life whe#e I have little *esi#e to wo#7 with those who *on5t t#uly want goo* things to ha&&en. So fo#give
me if I am a little #ough a#oun* the e*ges to*ay. My intention isn5t to ma7e you feel guilty E fa# f#om it. My intention
is to hel& you to +#ea7 #esi*ual *enial. In the en*, *enial is the only &#o+lem man7in* has. "o say the leastI An*, it
is somewhat *ifficult fo# me to stan* +ac7 an* see the guys who come to me fo# hel&... not getting any hel&, o# not
+eing willing to hel& themselves. If I we#e to +uy us a #oun* of *#in7s, I5* e>&ect you to *#in7 with me, you 7now
what I meanF Lite#ally thousan*s u&on thousan*s of men have essentially as7e* me to +uy them a *#in7, an* when
I have *one e>actly what they5ve as7e*, most *i* not *#in7 u&I
2. On Becoming A High Status Male, Now
.elcome +ac7.
"he#e a#e times when I wasn5t a+le to tell if I ha* the most g#atifying Bo+ in the wo#l*, o# the least g#atifying Bo+ in
the wo#l*. It all *e&en*s on &e#ce&tion, on how we loo7 at things. .ith matu#ity, &e#ce&tion fa*es an* is #e&lace*
+y S&i#itual 1ision, o# the so$calle* 5thi#* eye5 o&ening, which is a state of Silent .itnessing whe#e one #ef#ains f#om
Bu*gments an* commenta#y an* sim&ly .itnesses o# O+se#ves f#om a state of a+solute un$attachment an*
&eaceful non$involvement.
If I loo7 at my ?Bo+? f#om a state of &e#ce&tion, I am focusing on the *etails of my Bo+, such as w#iting, s&ea7ing,
*ealing with &eo&le, *ealing with a we+ se#ve#, management, #unning the fo#um, an* mo#e. ,e&en*ing on which
*etails I focus on, ve#sus which *etails I *eny, along with how I conte>tuali/e eve#y *etail... this is what *ete#mines
my attitu*e. In society, some &eo&le a#e sai* to have a &ositive attitu*e, while othe#s a#e sai* to have a negative
one. "hat is, some &eo&le &#efe# to focus on what is ?w#ong?, while othe#s &#efe# to focus on what is ?#ight? a+out
any given situation. Both of these a#e Huite limiting +ecause &e#ce&tion itself is Huite limiting.
4e#ce&tion wants to focus on *etails, on s&ecifics, an* es&ecially on fo#m o# &hysicality.
S&i#itual 1ision is much *iffe#ent, an* in a sense, is nea#ly the o&&osite of &e#ce&tion in that it &#efe#s to focus on
the ove#all conte>t #athe# than on any s&ecific content. 4e#ha&s if you we#e to meet a ;en Maste#, you5* see how
they use thei# eyes ve#y *iffe#ently than the ave#age human +eing. "he ;en Maste# lives mostly in his &e#i&he#al
vision. .hen he loo7s at you, it might +egin to feel as if he 7nows eve#ything a+out you. It is as though he can see
you# ve#y soul, you# essence, you# S&i#it. @It can +e Huite intimi*ating, f#an7ly.A
"he way to +e with women is to +ecome li7e the ;en Maste#.
"hat is, one lea#ns to s&en* mo#e an* mo#e of thei# time within a &e#i&he#al vision state, #athe# than in a state of
&e#ce&tion which is ove#ly focuse* on linea# content an* the t#uly mun*ane.
S4ON"AN8O)S AN, A)"OMA"I% A"":A%"ION
On an egoic$animal level, women a#e &#og#amme* to see7 out men of high status. Although men a#e conce#ne*
with a woman5s ?loo7s? @an* es&ecially he# hi&$to$waist #atioA, to a woman5s ego an* animal *#ives, social status is
Huite lite#ally eve#ything. Afte# all, the man who *emonst#ates his social status is a+no#mally high can have Bust
a+out any woman he fancies +ecause his status tells he# ego9min* an* animal instinctual *#ives that he will +e a
goo* &#otecto# an* &#ovi*e#, as well as a goo* ?lay.? "hat is, she will +e a+le to count on him when she +ecomes
&#egnant an* nee*s shelte# an* &#otection *u#ing he# &#egnancy, an* the se> with him will +e healthy an*
satisfying.
.ho 7nows, she might even get some t#ue intimacy out of him is he5s #eally high status...
"his is #eally all that5s nee*e* to 7now a+out c#eating animal att#action. One must lea#n to have authentic high
social status in the wo#l*. Not to fa7e it, +ut to actually +ecome it.
ON B8%OMIN< A"":A%"I18, "O,AJ
"he Huic7est way to #each genuine high status is to lea#n how to +e the least emotionally #eactive &e#son in any
given situation. One must lea#n how to #emain unattache*, un$&hase*, unemotional, an* gene#ally unim&#esse* +y
the *#amas of the wo#l*. In so *oing, one *evelo&s a state of ,ivine Aloofness, which is not *iffe#ent f#om
)ncon*itional Love.
So how *oes one #each )ncon*itional Love as Huic7ly as &ossi+leF
It is +y lea#ning to imitate the ;en Maste#. It is the ;en Maste# who hol*s the highest social status in this wo#l*. It
isn5t the acto#, the *ance#, the singe#, o# the +illionai#e who hol*s the t#ue status in ou# wo#l*. It is the sim&le ;en
Maste# who can lite#ally have any woman he fancies, t#uly. @Although he woul*n5t act on his lust an* g#ee* *ue to
highe# wis*om, he coul* if he wante* to.A
"he way to *evelo& a state of unemotional non$#eactivity is to sim&ly &#actice +eing awa#e of one5s &e#i&he#al
vision, an* to favo# that visual state ove# the content$o#iente* o# 5s&ecifics o+sesse*5 &e#ce&tual vision. If you watch
the ave#age &e#son as they wal7 *own the st#eet, you5ll see thei# animal natu#e ve#y clea#ly as they a#e constantly
focusing on s&ecific content while *enying the ove#all conte>t in any given situation. "his s&ells the 7ey *iffe#ence
+etween high social status, an* lowe# social status. Again, low status males emotionally o+sess ove# s&ecifics,
while high status males un$emotionally enBoy the "otality of thei# su##oun*ings.
Low status &eo&le a#e en*lessly giving into thei# cu#iosity to ?chec7 eve#ything out.? "hey want to loo7 at
eve#ything, &#ocess the *ata in thei# min*5s, an* c#eate Bu*gments an* useless +a++le9commenta#y a+out what
they a#e &e#ceiving.
On the othe# han*, high status &eo&le a#e unconce#ne* with s&ecifics an* fin* that stuff +o#ing. "o chec7 out eve#y
woman5s ass as she wal7s +y is +o#ing, chil*ish. "o loo7 at how &eo&le a#e *#esse* an* c#itici/e them is +o#ing. "o
focus on the little insignificant *etails of life is ve#y, ve#y *ull an* +o#ing to the man of t#ue, genuine, high status.
IMMA"):8 LI""L8 BOJS 1S. M8N
It is the chil* in us that wants to chec7 eve#ything out an* comment a+out it. "he chil*, afte# all, Bust a##ive* u&on
this ea#th ve#y #ecently an* is the#efo#e easily im&#esse* an* im&#essiona+le. "he inne# chil* constantly loo7s at
life5s mun*ane *etails as if to say, ?.owI A +i#*I .oah, an ai#&laneII Loo7 MaI?, com&lete with finge#$&ointing an*
en*less cu#iosity as well as antici&ation a+out ?what will ha&&en ne>tF?
"he a*ult, on the othe# han*, has seen +i#*s an* ai#&lanes an* +ugs an* ca#s an* women an* g#oce#y sto#es a
million times an* has com&lete* the content9fo#m9&hysicality cu#iosity, commenta#y, an* o+session &hase. "he
a*ult &#efe#s to ta7e in the whole scene, #athe# than sto&&ing to chec7 eve#ything an* eve#yone out.
.hy loo7 at a sha*ow when one can ta7e in the whole sunsetF
.hy sta#e at he# ass when one can ta7e in the whole womanF
.hy snea7 a &ee7 at he# +#easts when one can loo7 into he# eyes an* +ecome One with he#F
.hy sta#e at a t#ee when one can +#ing the enti#e fo#est into S&i#itual 1isionF
4e#ce&tion is chil*ish, *ull, flat, +o#ing, an* essentially lifeless. It is nea#ly loveless. It wants to o+sess ove# *etails
an* c#eate en*less commenta#y an* c#iticalness a+out eve#ything. S&i#itual 1ision, on the othe# han*, su##en*e#s
to the Allness9"otality of %onte>t. It 5+#eathes in5 the whole scene in its enti#ety. .hile one is wal7ing *own the
st#eet, one is awa#e of the enti#e su##oun*ings E the +uil*ings, the &eo&le, the s7y, the +i#*s, the ca#s, the weathe#,
etc. simultaneously.
.ith only a little &#actice, you lea#n that you can t#ust you# &e#i&he#al vision much mo#e than you# &e#ce&tion
+ecause &e#i&he#al vision is in alignment with one5s s&i#itual intuition, whe#eas &e#ce&tion is in alignment with the
ego an* with useless thin7ingness an* noise. S7ille* *#ive#s 7now that if they chec7 eve#ything out they will get into
an acci*ent. "he wise lea#n to t#ust thei# &e#i&he#al vision.
4e#ce&tion *enies the Allness of <o*, while 1ision *enies nothing an* no one. 1ision only 7nows Love, while
&e#ce&tion only 7nows col*, lifeless &#i*efulness an* g#ee*. 4e#ce&tion is of the ego, an* 1ision is of the S&i#it.
It is #eally easy to switch f#om &e#ce&tion to S&i#itual 1ision +y sim&ly &lacing mo#e im&o#tance on the conte>t,
#athe# than on the s&ecifics of linea# content. <o* an* %onte>t a#e one an* the same thingG <o* is the )ltimate
%onte>t out of which the Oneness of Life a#ises. "o +ecome One with <o*, it is only necessa#y to +ecome One
with the &e#i&he#al vision. It can +e *one in Bust a+out eve#y situation that a#ises, an* it is so easy to *o that
&e#ha&s even a chil* coul* manage.
It is li7ely that few #ea*e#s will follow this a*vice +ecause it is too sim&leI
N8.S2LASHK
In t#uth, the enti#e wo#l* ma#7et of *ating an* #elationshi& t#ainings an* ,1,5s an* semina#s an* wo#7sho&s woul*
come to a close if men sim&ly lea#ne* this one sim&le tool. In fact, it is not even necessa#y fo# the #ea*e# to
continue with this !0$*ay e%ou#seG Bust &#actice this one sim&le 5/en$tool5 an* eve#y issue with women @an* even
with all of lifeA will heal in *ue time.
"hose who teach )ncon*itional Love a#e #eally Bust #emin*ing the stu*ent, ove# an* ove# li7e a +#o7en #eco#*, to
shift thei# focus away f#om the mun*ane *etails of content an* +ac7 into the ove#all conte>t. It is the Only Lesson.
"o maste# *ating an* #elationshi&s it is only necessa#y to maste# the ;en of Love. "o live in one5s &e#i&he#al vision
will actually ta7e one ALL the way. "he#efo#e, sta#t now an* waste no time. 8ven while #ea*ing these wo#*s it is
&ossi+le to +e awa#e of the conte>t su##oun*ing you# com&ute# sc#een. Sim&ly +ecome awa#e of the #oom you a#e
in while you #ea* these wo#*s.
B8IN< .I"H .OM8N
.hile s&ea7ing to a woman an* loo7ing into he# eyes, you can also +e awa#e of you# &e#i&he#al vision. "he way to
+e with women is to sim&ly soften you# ga/e, loo7 *i#ectly an* unswe#vingly into he# +eautiful eyes an*
simultaneously #emain awa#e of the conte>t. In this way you can &#otect he# f#om *ange#G you5#e the highest status
male availa+le in any given situation +ecause you a#e continually awa#e of you# su##oun*ings while you ga/e into
he# eyes. Nothing can &hase o# su#&#ise you, no# 7noc7 you into an emotionali/e* state +ecause you# &e#i&he#al
vision al#ea*y 5tol* you5 what was coming.
,on5t Bust &#actice +eing awa#e of you# &e#i&he#y... +ecome it. ,on5t waste anothe# single minute E it is that
im&o#tant fo# you to get this. "he min* will &ut u& some initial #esistance, which is to +e e>&ecte*, +ut not fo# too
long. It will soon lea#n that it can gain &leasu#e f#om conte>t an* not Bust f#om content. It then lea#ns to favo# conte>t
ove# content +ecause it lea*s to inc#e*i+ly high states of consciousness9awa#eness, love, an* su#&#ising levels of
success with women.
1 M 1 M 1
"o a** &owe# to this &#actice, also +ecome awa#e of you# +#eathing. "he focus is on th#ee a#eas simultaneouslyK 1A
Loo7ing st#aight ahea*, while 2A maintaining awa#eness of the &e#i&he#al vision, while also !A +eing awa#e of the
+#eathing. Ma7e this &#actice li7e a new #eligion, if you will, an* *on5t waste time. Jou5ll than7 me late# with tea#s of
emotionless Coy in you# eyes. Since#ely. I woul*n5t lie no# e>agge#ate a+out something as im&o#tant as you#
&#ecious life.
!. Healing "he Inne#$%om&laine#
One of the ve#y fi#st things to #elinHuish on the ;en &athway to .omani/ing is c#iticalness o# Bu*gmentalism. One of
the min*5s favo#ite &astimesI As such, it isn5t easy to let this one go. "he min* gains g#eat na#cissistic &leasu#e out
of Bu*ging itself an* othe#s, an* ma7ing en*less commenta#ies a+out eve#ything it &e#ceives.
"he male min* es&ecially loves ma7ing inne# commenta#ies a+out women. ?.hat an assI Oh, he# face isn5t so
g#eat though... oh my, loo7 at the fattie ove# the#eI I can5t +elieve that guy actually has to fuc7 he#, ew, g#ossI 1a va
va 1OOMI Holy shitI Loo7 at the +lon*eII Oh man, I woul* cut my a#m off fo# one night with that woman... .hy is
she with that stu&i* 5cho*e5F?
"he min* looooves chec7ing women out an* inne#$commenting a+out them, an* this is a tough ha+it to Huit. "he
&#o+lem with this ha+it is that it is one of the &#ima#y ways in which we 5&um&5 ou#selves full of unconscious guilt,
fea#, lust, &a#anoia, &#i*e, an* mo#e. Cu*gmentalism instantly auto$gene#ates negative 57a#ma5 @i.e., unfo#tunate
ego conseHuencesA. "he#efo#e, the *ecision to give it u& ve#y Huic7ly lessens ALL of one5s fea#s an* issues with
women, *ating, an* #elationshi&s.
Instea* of Huitting 5col* tu#7ey5 an* giving u& Bu*ging an* commenting ove#night an* @the#e+y f#ea7ing out the &oo#
little egoA, a useful ?#e&lacement? fo# Bu*gmentalism an* commenta#y is g#atitu*e. So, if a nice ass wal7s +y an*
you notice you# min* +egins to comment an* get too e>cite*, Bust than7 it fo# ca#ing a+out you# &leasu#e an*
satisfaction in life. It is Bust t#ying to see7 ha&&iness. "hen, than7 <o* fo# hel&ing you notice you# ego5s &atte#ns.
"his small, easily *evelo&e* ha+it of g#atitu*e will hel& heal @an* eventually silenceA the heavily$ing#aine* ego
&atte#n of Bu*gmentalism9commenta#y +efo#e you 7now it.
.hen you notice 5not so 7in*5 Bu*gmentalism going on, Bust sto& an* than7 you# ego fo# hel&ing you get &leasu#e
an* satisfaction f#om life, an* then say, ?Isn5t it ama/ing that <o* actually loves eve#yone uncon*itionallyF? "his is
a nice gentle way of healing Bu*gmentalism, an* avoi*ing getting into a guilt$t#i& a+out it. "he min* is Bust *oing
what it is 5su&&ose*5 to +e *oingG Bust than7 it, #emin* it that <o* loves eve#yone without con*ition, an* in *ue time
the Bu*ging &atte#n will +e silence*.
Someone #ecently sent in a Huestion #ega#*ing his wife5s +ehavio#, an* I thought I woul* #e$&ost it in he#e as an
o&&o#tunity to hel& *ee&en this lesson.
NNNO)8S"ION 2:OM A :8A,8:NNN
My fiancee has +een Huite annoying the &ast 2( hou#s. She5s ' months &#egnant so she &#o+a+ly *ese#ves a little
slac7. Anyways, he# siste# wante* some +ee# this afte#noon an* she5s he#e on vacation. I tol* my fiancee to Bust
&ic7 some u& on the way home an* she was li7e, ?"hat ma7es me uncomfo#ta+le +ecause &eo&le loo7 at &#egnant
women funny when they +uy +ee#.? "his sent some ala#m +ells off fo# the secon* time in 2( hou#s. It Bust seems
ve#y ve#y wea7.
"hen last night she was woul*n5t go swimming in the &ool +ecause the#e was a little algae g#owing. Cust a tiny thin
laye# I5ve &ut &lenty of chlo#ine in ove# the last ! *ays. She sai* she wasnt going in that +acte#ia, an* well, algae
isn5t +acte#ia, it5s &lant g#owth. "his seeme* wea7 too.
PPP%OMM8N"SK
"his is a tough situation to +e in, +ecause you get annoye* an* sta#t to won*e# if the mothe# of you# chil*#en
actually ca#es a+out s&i#ituality at allG then comes the Huestions a+out how *oes this affect you, what will it *o to the
chil*#en ove# the long te#m...
"he ego sec#etly loves to get 5annoye*5.
So, &e#ha&s a useful way to conte>tuali/e this is to see it as an o&&o#tunity to *ee&en you# Love, +y allowing
you#self to acce&t eve#y limitation that she has without com&laint.
"hus, if she 5whines5 a+out +eing too self$conscious to +uy +ee# +ecause ?what will the neigh+o#s thin7F?, you
imme*iately than7 <o* fo# you# own %ou#age. If she f#ea7s out emotionally fo# whateve# #eason, you imme*iately
sto& an* than7 the Lo#* fo# you# own emotional sta+ility. If he# se> *#ive is failing, you imme*iately than7 <o* fo#
the fact that you ca#e a+out se> an* Love. Many &eo&le lite#ally *on5t even ca#e a+out these thingsI
So, whateve# the limitations you# woman conveys +ecomes an o&&o#tunity fo# g#atitu*e, an* this g#owing g#atitu*e
&atte#n *evelo&s into a *ee& humility an* )ncon*itional Love.
"his, of cou#se, +#ings u& fea#. Ouestions may a#ise, such as, ?Jeah, Love is nice, +ut how *o I han*le he# when
she5s acting u&F .hat *o I nee* to actually *o E in the #eal wo#l* E outsi*e of 5s&i#itual love an* fai#y lan*5, to
&#otect myself an* to hel& this #elationshi& +lossom to a highe# level of consciousness an* matu#ityF?
As we can see, these Huestions a+out ?what to *o? @i.e., 5action5A all stem f#om the wo#shi& of min* instea* of the
wo#shi& of <o* as Love. "he min* is +ase* on action an* *oingness, so the min* is always conce#ne* a+out what
nee*s to +e *one. "his is +ecause the min* stems f#om fea#. It is always fea#ful a+out a hy&othetical futu#e that has
no +asis in :eality, an* this is what sna&s us out of the 8te#nal Now.
Love ta7es one into the 8te#nal Now, an* the min* ta7es one out of it.
"he solution is to wo#shi& Love a+ove all else, inclu*ing one5s ve#y su#vival.
)se eve#y ?im&e#fection? you# woman has as you# o&&o#tunity to *ee&en you# Love. 2o#get the woman an* wo##y
a+out you# Love.
Notice we5#e not tal7ing a+out &e#sonal love, +ut of S&i#itual Love. By inc#easing you# S&i#itual Love, which is the
7in* of Love that shines eHually u&on All "hat Is, you5ll automatically come to 7now what to 5*o5 a+out you# &e#sonal
#elationshi& love. "he Huestions of how to han*le he# an* what to say an* 5*o5 a+out all of these s&ecific ?&#o+lems?
in the #elationshi& will automatically +egin to solve themselves.
If the #elationshi& with any woman continues to last an* to +e fulfilling o# not is #eally immate#ial, unim&o#tant. All
that matte#s is the *eg#ee of S&i#itual Love that we can *evelo& within ou# Being. "he *etails of life then ta7e ca#e
of themselves automatically.
.e Bust nee* to get out of the way.
"he min* wants to 7ee& you awa7e all night loo7ing fo# ?solutions? to so$calle* ?&#o+lems?, +ut in :eality, none of
these have any e>istence... they a#e all in you# hea*.
Show me a &#o+lem.
<o ahea*...
Show me whe#e is you# sac#e* ?&#o+lem?...
4#o+lems only e>ist in the min*G they a#e an a#tifact of &e#ce&tion. "o the min*, eve#ything is a ?&#o+lem? that
#eHui#es some 7in* of ?solution.? Of cou#se, the whole &#o+lem$an*$solution thing is manufactu#e*, sec#etly, out of
the *esi#e to com&lain an* see one5s self as 5the victim5.
1ictimhoo* is the min*5s sec#et &leasu#e.
It loves to com&lain, to whine, to +itch, an* to 5&iss an* moan5 a+out the en*less ?&#o+lems? it su&&ose*ly has. In
the conte>t of #elationshi&s, this is the sec#et &oison that co##o*esG it is the num+e# one #elationshi& 7ille#.
"hat is, unconsciously, the min* *esi#es to see itself as the 5victim5 an* will then automatically set itself u& to
+ecome *isa&&ointe*, f#ust#ate*, unsatisfie*, unfulfille*, an* to feel unlove*.
"he way to heal this unconscious &#og#am is +y &utting an en* to ,enial. .ith the willingness to see how the ego is
&#og#amme* to &lay the 5victim5, the .itnessing itself heals the &#og#am.
"o acce&t the notion of ?&#o+lems? is to &#i*efully @an* #athe# a##ogantlyA *eny Love. One is *enying the Infinite
Love of <o* +y focusing on ?&#o+lems? instea* of +eing awa#e of the only :eality in all of 8>istence, which is that
of Love itself.
Only Love is :ealG all else is illusion +ase* on fallacious &e#ce&tion. 4#o+lems an* victimhoo* a#e Bust &#og#ams
which a#e unconsciously motivate* +y the *esi#e fo# the &leasu#e of feeling annoye* an* com&laining. It *oes ta7e
cou#age an* 5#a*ical honesty5 to +e a+le @i.e., willingA to see this ego &atte#n.
S88 ONLJ LO18, 2O:818:
"he enti#e )nive#se is Love an* inc#e*i+le 4e#fection. 8ven the #a&ist is a &e#fect #a&ist, is he notF "he cance#
&atient has &e#fecte* the a#t of 5cance#ness5. "he victim has &e#fecte* thei# 5victimhoo*5. "he min* is in a won*e#ful
&e#fecte* state of &#o+lem$fin*ing. 8ve#ything is in a continuous state of A+solute 4e#fection +ecause eve#ything
a#ises f#om the Love of <o*. "o not see this is to +e in ,enial.
Only &e#ce&tion ma7es us +elieve that something is stu&i*, im&e#fect, flawe*, o# w#ong. "he woman who won5t
&u#chase +ee# +ecause she wo##ies that &eo&le will Bu*ge he# *ue to he# &#egnancy is in a ,ivine state of
4e#fection as she wo##ies &e#fectly, isn5t sheF
"hin7 of the infinite &e#fect com&le>ity of the tas7 we call 5wo##y5. 2o# one thing, she has to ca#e a+out what othe#
&eo&le thin7 of he#. At least she ca#es a+out somethingI
She ca#es a+out how othe# &eo&le will &e#ceive he# +ecause *ee& *own, she loves he# life an* is *oing the ve#y
+est she can to maintain he# &e#fect life as it is. One can a#gue an* &ostulate that &e#ha&s she can *o +ette#, o#
ma7e wise# choices, +ut if she coul*... then she woul*.
"he#e a#e many &eo&le who a&&a#ently *on5t ca#e a+out how othe#s &e#ceive them. "hey *o not ca#e much a+out
anything, inclu*ing themselves. "hey sit the#e, listlessly, in a loveless state of ho&eless *es&ai# an* a&athy.
4e#ha&s they woul* +enefit to wo##y a+out such things as ?what woul* the neigh+o#s thin7F?
"he woman who wo##ies a+out such things must ca#e ve#y *ee&ly a+out he# +a+y. "o actually #ef#ain f#om +uying
+ee# +ecause an onloo7e# might *isa&&#ove is a sign that the mothe# will wo#7 ve#y ha#* to &#otect that +a+y in the
ve#y +est ways that she can. Although with g#eate# wis*om she coul* lea#n to sto& wo##ying a+out what othe#s thin7
of he# an* +ecome f#ee f#om such &a#anoia, it is im&o#tant fo# us to see he# &ositive si*e... to sim&ly see how she
ca#es an* to a&&#eciate that ca#ingness in the fullest way &ossi+le. Only then will the wis*om of what to 5*o5 an*
how to ca#efully 5han*le5 ou#selves a#oun* women @an* in ou# #elationshi&s with themA +e #eveale* to us. Only Love
#eveals the wis*om an* answe#s we all see7.
Mo#eove#, one5s a+ility to 5+eam love5 ove# to the woman to a ve#y high *eg#ee often melts away an* heals
whateve# issues she was having. "he#efo#e, the way to 5han*le5 women is to go a+out things in an in*i#ect way. "he
common man t#ies to tal7 an* a#gue an* logical$*iscuss an* get he# to see things *iffe#entlyG the wise man stan*s
+ac7 an* sim&ly a&&#eciates he# &e#fection an* +eauty.
In a sense, the way to ?solve? ou# #elationshi& ?&#o+lems? is to 5*o5 nea#ly the o&&osite of what the min* woul* have
us *o. "hat is, while the min* wants to 5*o5 @it wants to 5act5 in some wayA, the wise solution is to Bust +e. Love is not
an action, no# a ve#+, +ut is a way of Being with one5s self an* othe#s. Love is a way of Being in the wo#l*.
"he min* wants to ma7e a *ecision all the time. "hus, when a woman won5t get into a swimming &ool +ecause of a
?stu&i* #eason? such as the ha#mless algae, the male min* then goes th#ough a com&le> se#ies of inne# &#og#ams
which a#e unconsciously motivate* towa#* the eventual goal of getting to feel li7e the victim, along with the glo#y of
feeling annoye* an* getting to com&lain. Meanwhile, f#om the &oint of view of S&i#itual Love, it is ve#y +eautiful to
see how a woman ta7es no chances with he# +a+y. If the#e is algae in the &ool, even though on a logical level the
?sma#t? man e>&lains to he# that the algae is in no way ha#mful to he#, when it comes to he# +a+y... she loves +a+y
too much to +othe# much with his ?logical #easoning.?
A &#egnant woman ?th#owing logic out the win*ow? an* 7ee&ing he# +a+y in min* at all times an* in all situations
without e>ce&tion is a +eautiful thing, in*ee*. As men, it is wise to t#anscen* +eing annoye* with a woman5s
?illogical ways? +y enla#ging the conte>t enough to see the 5cuteness5 +ehin* thei# silly +ehavio#s an* ve#y$often$
*um+ choices.
.hy +e M#. S&oc7 when you can +e a .omani/e# instea*F
SOL1IN< 4:OBL8MS
"he way to solve a &#o+lem is to Love that &#o+lem so com&letely that it *issolves in the Light of Love.
Inasmuch as Love an* Awa#eness an* Light a#e all one an* the same thing, to only Love... is the only answe#... in
all situations with all &#o+lems without e>ce&tion.
"he way to Love a &#o+lem is to #emove ou# attention f#om the negative an* &lace ou# attention on the &ositive. A
money &#o+lem is something to Love an* give than7s fo#, +y loo7ing at the &ositive si*e of the money &#o+lem. 2o#
one thing, a lac7 of money will #esult in some weight loss, an* who *oesn5t want to she* a few unwante* &oun*sF
Also, a nice money &#o+lem will 7ee& one away f#om ?sin? @e.g., in*ulging in unhealthy &leasu#es such as ove#$
*#in7ing, ove#$eating, wasting money on the unim&o#tant, etc.A.
In this way, we enla#ge the conte>t. "his then allows fo# the solutions to &#esent themselves automatically, in *ue
time. :athe# than tu#ning to the min* fo# solutions, we tu#n to Love an* sim&ly wait a while.
A health &#o+lem o# life$th#eatening illness is a nice o&&o#tunity to lea#n to me*itate.
A #elationshi& &#o+lem is a sign that one is a+out to inc#ease thei# a+ility to Love )ncon*itionally.
So the way to melt &#o+lems away is to #emove ou# attention f#om the ?*a#7 sha*ow? as&ect an* focus on what
little Light is al#ea*y the#e. No matte# what the &#o+lem, the#e is always a little s&a#7 of Light to give than7s fo#. By
focusing u&on that Light, it g#ows st#onge#. A small fi#e tu#ns into a huge +onfi#e of Love, an* Love +#ings wis*om
an* t#ue solutions.
Again, this attitu*e shift +#ings u& the min*5s sec#et &leasu#a+le a**iction which is to &lay victim an* com&lain.
Nothing is mo#e a**ictive an* &leasu#a+le than to com&lain a+out eve#ything. "his is a fact that must +e
ac7nowle*ge* as fully as one can. It must +e loo7e* ove#, contem&late* u&on, an* not #esiste*. "he#e has to +e a
willingness to see the humo# in itI
Of cou#se, the min* may *eny that it loves to com&lain, an* ,enial is the min*5s Q1 favo#ite sec#et wea&on. "he
min* can *eny an* Bustify anything, an* it is ve#y cleve# in *oing e>actly that.
Now, is this a ?&#o+lem?F
Shoul* we wo##yF
Shoul* we feel +a* that the min* is e>t#emely cleve# an* so #esou#ceful that it can actually manufactu#e en*less
&#o+lems an* +athe in the &leasu#a+le Buices of com&lainingF
Shoul*n5t we at least feel guilty a+out this ego &atte#nF
No, we shoul* give than7s, th#ow a &a#ty, an* cele+#ate all night long +ecause the cleve#ness of the min* can +e
#e$*i#ecte* u&on the &ositiveG it can +e t#aine* to wo#7 fo# us instea* of against us.
4:A%"I%)M
"he homewo#7 fo# to*ay is to give than7s fo# the cleve#ness of the min*. It is so cleve# that it has t#ic7e* nea#ly si>
+illion &eo&le into not only i*entifying with it, +ut it cleve#ly lea*s them to thei# own *est#uction. If that isn5t &e#fecte*
cleve#ness, I *on5t 7now what isI "he min* is a won*e#ful acto#, a victim, a hy&oc#ite, a cont#a*iction, a come*ian,
an* es&ecially a com&laine#.
"he way to heal a so$calle* ?&#o+lem?, such as the Inne#$%om&laine#, is to a&&#eciate its innate magnificence an*
*ivine &e#fection. "he Inne#$%om&laine# is a &e#fect com&laine#, is it notF It is ca&a+le of com&laining a+out the
most ama/ingly +eautiful things an* *isto#ting thei# meaning to the &oint of c#eating sic7ness an* *isease. "he
cleve#ness of the human ego9min* is stunning, an* one shoul* +e in awe of it #athe# than feeling li7e the hel&less
an* guilty victim of it.
.I"N8SS "H8 48:28%"ION O2 ALL "HA" IS
Mo#eove#...
Ma7e a ha+it of &lacing the wo#* ?&e#fect? in f#ont of things. 8ve#ything in 8>istence is in a state of ,ivine
4e#fection. "he se#ial 7ille# is a &e#fect 7ille#. "he ego is a &e#fect ego. "he woman is a &e#fect woman. 8ven the
ugly an* stu&i* woman is a &e#fect ugly an* stu&i* woman. "hus, &lay a#oun* with a**ing ?&e#fect? onto things an*
enBoy an imme*iate +oost in you# level of <o*$consciousness.
Ma7e a nice list of com&laintsG w#ite them all *own, an* then come &ost them all on ou# fo#um so we can sha#e a
goo* laugh togethe#. Jou see, eve#yone has the same Inne#$%om&laine# E it is only a matte# of *eg#ee. So come
+y an* let us 7now what some of you# min*5s Buiciest &#o+lem9com&laints a#e a+out Notice the Inne#$%om&laine# as
you go a+out you# +usiness to*ay, an* *on5t give it any shit. Stan* in awe of its &e#fection. It is #eally Bust showing
offI It wants to show you how magnificent an* *ivine it #eally is. It is sim&ly Bust *oing its Bo+, which is to
manufactu#e &#o+lems an* com&lain a+out those &#o+lems. Allow it to *o so. In fact, you can even encou#age it to
*o so even mo#e. "ell it what a goo* com&laine# it is, tell it how cleve# it is, an* &ay close attention to how it ma7es
things a&&ea# as ?&#o+lems? an* how it whines a+out those &#o+lems in o#*e# to &lay the fun Buicy game of
victimhoo*.
"he min* is en*lessly ente#taining. Jou must lea#n to Love it +efo#e you will 7now how to Love women an* to have
women Loving you +ac7 in #etu#n to a significant *eg#ee. "hat is a fact. So, allow the min* to show you how g#eat it
is. It is #eally &#ou* of itself, an* it loves its stu&i* little life.
"he min* #eally 7nows how to fuc7 you u& goo*, *oes it notF
It is a cleve# little &#an7ste#, a t#ic7ste#, a chil*, an* a magician... "he Maste# of IllusionsI )nless you since#ely
a&&#eciate its g#eatness an* Love it, it is going to continue +ehaving li7e a chil*ish +#at an* ma7ing you suffe#, an*
ultimately &#eclu*ing you# awa#eness of the Love of <o*.
%he#ish the ,ivine 4e#fection of Allness.
(. Neve# )n*e#estimate "he Stu++o#nness Of ,enial
"h#oughout these !0 *ays we will +e s&en*ing togethe#, you will notice a theme I5ll come +ac7 to again an* againK
,enial.
"o*ay5s a#ticle will +e somewhat ?heavy.? Ma7e su#e you5#e in a goo*, &layful, o&en, an* &#etty *etache* state
+efo#e #ea*ing this oneI
In the film, Ame#ican Beauty, the cha#acte# :ic7y 2itts, who, inci*entally is an e>cellent #ole mo*el fo# lea#ning how
to +e with women, sai* something that #eally stuc7 with meK
?Neve# un*e#estimate the &owe# of *enial.?
Ove# the yea#s, that statement has #eveale* itself to +e stunningly o+viousG the shee# stu++o#nness of the human
ego is min*$+oggling. "he lengths &eo&le will go to in o#*e# to &#otect thei# illusions of 5victimhoo*5... it +ecomes
#athe# o+vious E once *enial is #emove* E Bust how much &eo&le actually cling onto, an* enBoy, suffe#ing itself.
4eo&le... lite#ally... 8NCOJ... suffe#ing.
At fi#st glance this may soun* un+elieva+le, unfai#, Bu*gmental, a##ogant, an* #athe# cynical. ,o &eo&le #eally enBoy
thei# &ain an* suffe#ingF ,o &eo&le #eally actually ?love? to feel guilty, ang#y, ashame*, an* unlove*F
.ell, one only has to .itness the shee# amount of suffe#ing in the wo#l*, an* then loo7 at what the solutions a#e to
&ut an en* to suffe#ing. In cont#asting the two, it +ecomes clea# that &eo&le ?love? to suffe# sim&ly +ecause if they
*i*n5t love thei# che#ishe* suffe#ing, they woul* a&&ly the sim&le s&i#itual solutions to heal themselves. Man7in*
*oes not lac7 the necessa#y info#mation to &ut an en* to it5s own suffe#ingG hel& is f#eely availa+le almost
eve#ywhe#e an* has +een fo# thousan*s of yea#s.
One of the most fascinating things a+out my ?Bo+? is the ama/ing #evelation which has shown me, ove# an* ove#,
Bust how much &eo&le love to suffe# in g#an*iose illusions of 5victimhoo*5. 8ven though solutions a#e clea#ly lai* out
in e>Huisite *etail fo# all to see, the ave#age &e#son sec#etly thin7s, ?I5m s&ecial. My &#o+lems a#e s&ecial. My case
is *iffe#ent. My ego is uniHue.? @I *o love w#iting these a#ticles +ecause it hel&s me to heal my own ego$self
simultaneously.A
Na#cissism is all a+out 5me5 an* 5my5 ego an* 5my5 s&ecial wo##ies an* 5me5 an* 5my5 +ig im&o#tant &#o+lems. 4eo&le
consciously lament thei# &#o+lems, +ut inwa#*ly, sec#etly, an* #athe# *ece&tively... they cling to thei# &#o+lems an*
*efen* them until they +ecome E Huite lite#ally E sic7, *isease*, an* *ying *ue to the #esulting lac7 of the sim&le
awa#eness of Love @an* su##en*e# to that LoveA.
we5#e going to ta7e a much *ee&e# loo7 at ,enial an* sta#e it #ight in the face.
I5m going to sha#e a t#ansc#i+e* &hone consultation I once *i* with someone who5s ,enial was too thic7. I *i* what
I coul* to &enet#ate it, I *i* what I coul* to hel& the guy to wa7e u&, +ut he was una+le to awa7en f#om the *ee&
slum+e# of stu++o#n ,enial. It was li7e a wall of steel. It felt li7e I was s&ea7ing to a &iece of woo*. "he
stu++o#nness was inc#e*i+le, an* I want to sha#e this with you so that you5ll &e#ha&s see some of you# own
stu++o#nness an* ,enial of the Love of <o* #eflecte* +ac7 to you.
It can +e ve#y hel&ful to loo7 at some of the wo#st cases of unhealthy ego5s +ecause the e>agge#ation then ma7es it
easie# to s&ot the cleve# &atte#ns of ou# own ego9min*. "he stu*y of ?othe#s? is #eally Bust the stu*y of one5s own
min*G &e#ha&s it is easie# to see ce#tain &atte#ns in othe#s +ecause it *oesn5t feel so &e#sonal o# shameful.
2o# e>am&le, I #ecently saw the film Hotel :wan*a, which is a &#etty g#a&hic film a+out the :wan*an ?ethnic
cleansing? that occu##e* in 166( whe#e nea#ly 1 million :wan*an5s we#e slaughte#e* in the st#eets. "hey we#e not
Bust slaughte#e*, +ut most of the 7illings we#e &#ece*e* +y #a&e. Mo#eove#, they *i*n5t have ve#y many guns, so
they use* machete5s to hac7 u& men, women, an* es&ecially chil*#en.
I notice* my own ego coming u& an* enBoying the glee of #a&ing an* 7illing. "he ol* animal +#ain loves +loo*lust
@i.e., 2#eu*5s I*A, so I sim&ly ac7nowle*ge* it was the#e.
I #emove* my ,enial an* acce&te* this 5*a#75 as&ect of my min*, an* as it came u& I sim&ly .itnesse* it. ,oing
this semi$*issolve* the little monste#, am I all$too$ha&&y to #e&o#t. .ith a .itnessing state, let5s loo7 at this
consultation with a young man in a *ee& state of ,enial.
@8>t#a commenta#y a**e* Rin +#ac7etsS TE Li7e so.A
4HON8 %ONS)L"A"ION @ON S8L2$HA":8,A
Ste&haneK .hat can I hel& you with, si#F
Ouestione#K I wante* to call you fo# a long time. I have +een #ea*ing you# we+site fo#, I thin7, a+out ! yea#s. Oh,
this is ha#*, I *on5t 7now how to sta#t...
SK .ell, fi#st of all you have to #eali/e that eve#yone has the same ego as you. 8ve#y &#o+lem that you a#e shy
a+out... eve#y guy has to &ass th#ough an* &ay his *ues. So whateve# you a#e going th#ough is not uniHue to you, it
is uniHue to humanness itself.
OK R,i* not hea# a single wo#* Ste&hane has sai*, +ut &#eten*s toS O7ay, I guess I will tell you my sto#y a little +it.
Most of my life I was, I guess, ve#y int#ove#te*, living, I was always in my hea*.
SK Int#ove#te*, shy, self$conscious.
OK 8>t#emely.
SK So when you a#e out, an* you a#e tal7ing to someone, you also have a film insi*e you# hea* on what you must
loo7 li7e th#ough thei# eyesF RlaughsS
OK RNo laughte#, no sense of humo#S Jes. So, well, I guess my main #eason to call you.. Bust to, well, most of my life
has +een #eally, I guess, messe* u&. Actually, I &#o+a+ly am messe* u& u& until now as well...
SK .ell, human life is one +ig to#tu#e cham+e#. It is a +ig long nightma#e, isnUt itF RlaughsS
OK RNothing, silence, 5*ea* ai#5 on the &honeS
SK Human life suc7s, I mean, you tu#n on the news, eve#yone is suffe#ing an* *ying...
4a#ents a#e #u*e to thei# chil*#en, eve#y+o*y is messe* u&, eve#y+o*y is cheating on eve#y+o*y else. 4eo&le a#e
#unning a#oun* lying to each othe#, I mean it is one +ig to#tu#e cham+e#, yesI RlaughsS
OK RStill *oesn5t ac7nowle*ge what Ste&hane has sai*S .ell, so, I guess whe#e IUm going with this is, I was #ea*ing
you# we+site, you 7now, well, li7e, fi#st of all, how I sta#te* with the *ating community. I foun* you th#ough an
inte#view. So #ight away, I so#t of Bust got into you# stuff without #eally un*e#stan*ing why. So, eve# since then I
sta#te* #ea*ing you# we+site. But at the same time I *i*nUt sta#t #eally, I mean, I wasnUt #eally im&#oving my life, I
was so#t of, I guess, ?mastu#+ating? to the mate#ial.
SK Jou mean, Bust listening to the mate#ial an* collecting it... +ut not using itF
OK 8>actly. 8>ce&t that it #eally #esonate* with me at the co#e. So, I was #ea*ing you# newslette#s, an* eve#ything
you sai* ma*e sense. But, at the same time, this is me living in my #oom, Bust *oing ho##i+ly in unive#sity an*,
+asically, li7e, having li7e a &o#n a**iction... whateve#.. an* still #ea*ing you# stuff...
SK How ol* a#e youF
OK I5m 2- now.
SK So you a#e a+solutely no#malI
OK :ight.
SK RLaughsS :ea*ing stuff +ut not #eally a&&lying it, watching &o#n, slac7ing off... Jes, that5s 2- yea#s ol*, in*ee*I
.elcome to ave#ageness.
OK RNo humo#, no ac7nowle*gmentS Jeah...I guess the *own si*e of all of this, is that I guess, I was #eally
int#ove#te*G I mean, most of my life I neve# #eally went outsi*e an* things li7e that. I mean, I feel ve#y ine>&e#ience*
in life in te#ms with that, so, even now when I t#y to *o stuff, it is li7e, eve#yone else is still way a+ove me in te#ms of
life e>&e#ience. At least this is how I feel.
SK .ell, this is you# &e#ce&tion. "he#e5s a lot of &eo&le that a#e way +elow JO), as wellI RlaughsS
OK R,i* not hea# what Ste&hane sai* on how the#e a#e &eo&le +elow him as well as a+ove himS So, I guess, I
#ecently ha*, even when I was #ea*ing you# stuff, I ha* feelings of, ?I shoul* +e *oing this, I shoul* +e *oing this?. I
shoul* Bust &ay attention to what he5s saying. I guess, one of the wo#st feelings fo# that is, I #ea* all this stuff, an* it
so#t of &#og#amme* me in a way, it *i* in some way, o# something li7e that. Because, well, a+out one yea# ago, this
is whe#e IUm still Bust *oing ho##i+ly, still Bust *oing my own thing, I #eally #eali/e* that I felt #eally ashame* of myself.
So I #eally #eali/e* how ashame* of myself I was. So I sai*, ?O7ay, letUs sta#t listening to all the feelings I will eve#
have, instea* of Bust *oing what I Bust *o on a *aily +asis?, an* that en*e* u& with me lite#ally t#ying to feel eve#y
single action I *o, li7e, Bust so#t of feeling it. .ith eve#y single action, imagine, li7e which way I tu#n, which way, that
so#t of thing, this is #eally insane...
SK .hat *o you meanF "hat eve#y *ecision an* action you ma7e, lea*s to shameF
OK Basically. "hat is +asically a+out it.
SK Shame stems f#om &#i*e.
OK R,i* not even thin7 a+out what Ste&hane has Bust sai*S I su&&ose, yeah. I su&&ose. I canUt #eally *o much fo#
that.
SK "he way to get ove# shame is to a*mit you# *ownsi*e. Sto& #esisting you# humanness. ,o you #eali/e how
stu&i* most humans a#eF
OK RIna+ility to listen *ue to e>t#eme na#cissismS So##yF I misse* that last &a#t...
SK ,o you #eali/e how stu&i* most humans a#eF RlaughsS Listen, eve#yone is #unning a#oun* lying, &#eten*ing to +e
something they a#e not, hy&oc#ites, two$face*, they tell you ?Hey man, how5s it goingF? an* they sta+ you in the
+ac7.
8ve#y+o*y is a hy&oc#ite. So, to get ove# shame, you have to a*mit it. Jou a*mit it to you#self, an* you own it within
you#self. Othe#wise it is almost li7e you got a c#itical &a#ent in you# hea* telling you that you shoul* +e ashame* of
you#self.
OK R,i* not hea# the &a#t a+out a*mitting the t#uth to one5s self, +ut only hea#* the &a#t #ega#*ing c#iticalnessS "hat
is, actually, e>actly how it is with me.
SK :ight. So you tell the &a#ent, ?"han7s fo# t#ying to motivate meI? RlaughsS .hat *oes the &a#ent tell you a+out
you#selfF
OK Actually, I thought that I was su&&ose* to +e the &a#ent, an* it is the chil* that was w#ong.
SK .ell, they a#e +oth w#ong +ecause if you loo7 at the chil* an* the &a#ent, an* the way they a#e inte#acting,
whe#e is the loveF
OK Jeah, I coul* neve# figu#e that one out. R"his is li7ely a lieG he neve# as7e* himself ?.he#e is the loveF? +ut is
li7ely telling Ste&hane what he thin7s Ste&hane wants to hea#.S
SK It5s *evoi* of love, then it is *evoi* of wis*omG it is *evoi* of t#uth. "hin7 a+out it, without love, I *onUt un*e#stan*
why &eo&le *onUt 7ill themselves. I woul* 7ill myself. If the#e was no love in this wo#l*F I woul* Bust en* it #ight now.
Because why live without loveF .ho the hell woul* want to live without loveF
RNo #es&onse f#om the clientS
SK So you got the nasty, c#itical, &e#fectionist, &u#itanical &a#ent insi*e you# hea*. Jou see the &a#ent is coming out
li7e a 4unishe#. An* it thin7s that +y &unishing the chil*, the chil* is going to want to listen to it, an* +ecome a
+ette# human +eing.
I was #ecently watching outsi*e my win*ow the#e was this little +oy, I thin7 he was ( yea#s ol*, an* the fathe#
*#agge* him outsi*e of the #estau#ant, an* sai*, ?Jou +ette# +e nice to you# g#an*mothe#, you a#e such a &iece of
c#a&?, an* Bust 7e&t lectu#ing him, an* lectu#ing him, an* lectu#ing him. An* the 7i* was #esisting, of cou#se. .hat if
I tal7 to you li7e, ?Hey man, you a#e such a &iece of c#a&?, you a#e not going to want to listen to me.
OK )m, o7...F RLi7ely too much na#cissistic thin7ingness @i.e. 5noise in the hea*5A going on fo# the client to +e
ca&a+le of even having a no#mal conve#sation.S
SK 8ven if what I have to say is wise, you a#e going sta#t to #esist +ecause that is the natu#al thing when the#e is no
love. An* it neve# occu##e* to that fathe# to &ic7 the chil* u& in his a#ms an* Bust love it. Cust love. .hen the chil* is
love*, now the chil* feels safe enough to follow the goo* a*vice. Now the chil* is willing to listen. "he +est &a#ent
is the &a#ent that offe#s no a*vice. "he +est &a#ent is the &a#ent who listens to the chil*, lea#ns how the chil* feels,
an* *oesnUt t#y to cont#ol it. An* then when the chil* goes out, an* *#ug *eale#s t#y an* tem&t him, he is not going
to want to sc#ew u& the #elationshi& with mom an* *a*. So the #elationshi& with mom an* *a* is going to +e mo#e
#ewa#*ing than the who#es an* thugs out the#e, an* all the e>citement an* *ange# they have to offe#. "he #eason
all these teenage#s go out an* #e+el, an* *o all these *#ugs o# whateve#, is +ecause they a#e not getting love at
home.
OK I totally un*e#stan* what you a#e saying. RA+solutely unt#ueS It is li7e, +ut at the same time, IUm not su#e, I was so
messe* u& that I so#t of me#ge* myself with the &a#ent.
SK R.on5t acce&t the client5s i*entification with min* as &a#ent, continues to #efe# to his min* as an im&e#sonal 5it5S
.ell, it is ma7ing you sic7. It is ma7ing you ill +y t#ying to motivate you this way. It *oesnUt wo#7. It is the o&&osite of
what wo#7s. So, fi#st thing you have to *o is ma7e a list of all its faults, eve#ything that is w#ong with it. May+e you
can Bust hol* a few of them in min* #ight now. Jou *onUt have to tell me what they a#e.
OK O=
"hin7 of the fi#st one an* then say to you#self, ?Jeah, soF?
RNo #e&lyS
SK R"#ies a new a&&#oachS .hen someone insults you, the +est way to han*le them is tho#ough non$#esistance.
Instea* of #esisting an* going, ?No, I am notI?, instea* of a#guing, you Bust go, ?Jes, soF?. ?Jou a#e a com&letely
*ishonest human +eingIV $ WJes, soF? RlaughsS ?Jou a#e uglyIV $ WSo whatFV
"his way, &#o+lems a#e not such a +ig *eal any mo#e as you woul* li7e to thin7 they a#e. "hey feel li7e they a#e a
+ig *eal +ut that5s Bust &e#ce&tion. So you have to sta#t +y minimi/ing them. Jou go, ?Jeah, soF?, ?So whatF?, an*
?.ho ca#esF?.
RNo #e&ly. Ste&hane then switches to a new a&&#oach +y getting +ac7 to the to&ic of the inne# c#itical &a#ent.S
SK O7, so then, you have to get that &a#ent to +e nice, o# you wonUt listen to it. Say to it, ?Be nice o# IUm not going to
listen to you.?
"hat5s what youU* tell &eo&le that came u& to you yelling at you on the st#eet, #ightF ?Be nice o# IUm not going to
hea# what you have to say. I want to hea# what you have to say, +ut not li7e this.? An* that will ta7e you #ight out of
it. Jou ma7e the &a#ent nice, an* you will ma7e the chil* calm.
OK I 7now, R,enial always claims, ?I 7now? when it clea#ly *oes not 7nowS an* it is #eally messe* u& +ecause, I
mean, Bust lite#ally my whole thought &#ocess of calling you was, the chil* in me woul* come u& fo# a long time an*
I woul* tell it no, +ecause I thought I was Bust c#a/y, I ha* #ea* some stuff on the Inte#net, an* instea* of #eally
t#ying to get my life togethe#... I tol* my fathe# a+out you# we+site, an* of cou#se he *oesnUt ag#ee to it, an*, of
cou#se, I *onUt e>&ect him to...
SK .hen *i* he chec7 it outF
OK May+e months ago, when I was #eally going c#a/y.
SK He *oesnUt ag#ee with what a+out my site e>actlyF He *oesn5t li7e Integ#ityF He hates LoveF <o*F .omenF
OK "he i*eas, he thought the way they &#esent eve#ything was... I mean...
SK My we+site is clea#. ,oes you# fathe# 7now what integ#ity meansF
OK I thin7 he *oes, what am I saying, I thin7 he *oes...
SK ,o JO) 7now what integ#ity meansF
OK It is a conce&t that I have +een st#uggling with...
SK It is not a conce&t. It is Love. Integ#ity is Love. An* the only way you a#e going to feel love in you# life is if you
#eali/e you *onUt have to have these a#guments in you# hea*. Jou *onUt have to #ag on you#self. Jou a#e *oing it
+ecause you want to. On some level, you a#e t#ying to suffe#. Jou a#e &laying the victim, ?Oh, <o*, loo7 at how I
suffe#, itUs not fai#, I *i*nUt as7 to +e +o#nI? Jou5#e +laming <o* fo# what you# own min* is *oing to you.
OK Jeah... RIs &#eten*ing to un*e#stan*S
SK An*, you a#e not a man, you a#e a chil*. I canUt hel& you. How coul* I hel& youF Jou a#e not even 7in* to
you#self, you a#e going to tu#n a#oun*, an* you a#e going to +ite me one *ay. IUm going to sit he#e +en*ing ove#
+ac7wa#*s t#ying to hel& you, +ut you wonUt hel& you#self.
Jou have to cut it out. Because guilty an* ashame* &eo&le a#e #eally the wo#st &eo&le to *eal with on this &lanet.
<uilt an* shame a#e *ange#ous ene#gies an* I Bust *on5t li7e to go the#e. I value my life too much to su+Bect myself
to the ?guilt L shame#s? of this wo#l*. Jou hate you#self an* you5ll Bust en* u& hating me, some*ay.
,o you at least have a &etF
OK No.
SK Jou have to get you#self one. I *onUt want to tal7 to you until you have a &et. Because if you *onUt 7now how to
ta7e ca#e of anothe# +eing an* love that +eing, then you a#e not #ea*y fo# what I have to teach. Jou have to have
some love, a s&a#7 of love. "hen I can sta#t hel&ing you. :ight now you a#e so *ee& in negativity, I canUt Boin you
the#e, you see. I wonUt &ut my feet in hellfi#e to t#y to lift you out of hellfi#e, you have to lift you#self out of hellfi#e.
Jou have to get you#self a &et, in the ve#y least. An* you lea#n to love that &et. Jou *onUt 7now how to love
you#self, so at least, you a#e not going to 7ic7 the c#a& out of a *og a#e youF
OK No, no, no, no, no...
SK Jou a#e not going to *#own the cat in the +athtu+ if he meows at you the w#ong way. So you sta#t with a &et,
thatUs always the +est way to sta#t. If you canUt sta#t lovingness an* 7in*ness within you#self... you get you#self a
&et, a *oggie o# a 7itty. ,onUt get a hamste# o# a sna7e, get something that can love you +ac7 in #etu#n. A *og an* a
cat can love you an* they will show you what love is. A *og an* cat a#e mo#e evolve* then 60D of man7in*. ,o
you #eali/e thatF ,ogs an* cats, we thin7 they a#e Bust animals, they a#e actually mo#e evolve* then a&&#o>imately
60D of us. RlaughsS %an you imagineF An* they will teach you what ?angelic? means.
OK I guess, I guess, no thatUs, I will *efinitely give it a thought.
SK ,onUt give it a thought, that5s so wea7. Jou see, you *onUt want love in you# life, IUm telling you how to get love in
you# life, you have +een #ea*ing my we+site fo# ! yea#sF .hat the hell *o you thin7 I teach manF RgigglesS Jou a#e
calling me u& +ecause you want me to listen to you# so+ sto#y a+out how you #ag on you#self. R:aises his voice
&#etty lou*, ho&ing to wa7e client u&S NOI Jou have to meet me in my heaven, I wonUt go to you# hell, you have to
come to me, IUm the teache#. Jou will give it a thoughtF How can I acce&t you as a stu*entF
OK I Bust wonUt... no, no, that5s t#ue, that5s t#ue, this is not whe#e I5m getting at with this...
SK IsnUt this how you tal7 to you#selfF Jelling at you#selfF
OK Jes.
SK So I guess IUm s&ea7ing you# language. "his is the fi#st time you5ve listene* to me since we sta#te*I RlaughsS
OK No, you a#e #ight.
SK IUm +eing ha#* on you, on &u#&ose. I *onUt hate you, I *onUt have any +a* feelings towa#*s you.
OK No, no, no, thatUs not it at all. I guess, I woul* say, my ste&s towa#*s eve#ything you a#e saying has +een to call
you, +ecause calling you has +een li7e, t#ying to call you, has +een a #eally +ig tough thing fo# me.
SK 2ea# is a tough one, ye&. 2ea# &a#aly/es &eo&le, *oesnUt itF I soun* fea#less to you +ut I got my own fea#s that
IUm *ealing with. So, have you eve# ha* a gi#lf#ien*F
OK No, no. My +iggest conce#n a+out all of this is... I guess it is #eta#*e*...
SK .hatF
OK IUm Bust, I have +een, Bust lite#ally, I have *one all the healthy stuff in the last little while, I Bust thought that, even
+efo#e...
SK .hat *o you mean, all healthy stuffF
OK .ell, I mean, when I was *oing what I was saying, Bust t#ying to +e the &a#ent, I woul* say, Bust *o all the stuff
that I tol* myself not to *o, that I *i*nUt *o +efo#e, Bust listening to my inte#nal feelings, I woul* lite#ally li7e not slee&,
Bust, a lot of c#a/y stuff, Bust, #eally, #eally &unish myself.
SK Because the#e is no love in you, an* when the#e is no love you get sic7. Jou# min* gets sic7e#, an* sic7e#. Jou
a#e going to en* u& seve#ely ill if you *onUt get you#self a &et soon. "hat5s always the +est way to sta#t. My teache#,
my mento#, was a &sychiat#ist fo# -2 yea#s, an* that is what he taught me a+out wo#7ing with &eo&le. He sai*,
?.hen the#e is no love in thei# lives, *onUt even tal7 to them unless they get themselves a &et fi#stI?
An* I t#ust my teache#. An* +ecause I t#ust him, I get the +enefit of lea#ning f#om him.
OK I guess my +iggest #esistance to getting a &et is, I guess, I wasnUt &lanning on it... <etting a &et, thatUs huge. But
I mean, I totally see what you a#e saying... I *onUt thin7X It is inc#e*i+le how +a* I feel #ight now, it is inc#e*i+le...
SK Jou# life ene#gy is low +ecause the#e is no love in you# life. An* it is ma7ing you sic7, not Bust you# min* +ut you#
+o*y, too. 4eo&le get cance# an* all 7in*s of *iseases +ecause they &lay with the 7in* of self$hat#e* you a#e fooling
a#oun* with. It lea*s to *isease. <uilt an* shame c#eate li7e a *eath ho#mone in the +o*y, meanwhile love c#eates
en*o#&hins that cu#e Bust a+out anything.
Jou 7now the#e is a guy who cu#e* his cance# +y watching come*y films while he was in the hos&italF 2amous
guy, I fo#get his name. But you have to 7now laughte# in you# life, you have to 7now love. A cat will &#ovi*e you with
en*less laughte#, my cats a#e so silly, manI RlaughsS "he silliest things that they *o, it is hila#iousI
OK I guess anothe# thing is so#t of t#ying toX One thing that I #eali/e*, I guess when I *i* sto& #ea*ing you#
newslette#s, I sta#te* loo7ing fo# a fathe# figu#e, not Bust you...
SK Jes, you nee* a fathe# figu#e in you# life, someone who can love. Jou# fathe#, you# #eal fathe# ainUt it, +ecause
you woul*nUt +e li7e this if he was.
OK My fathe# *oesn5t love meF
SK ,o you thin7 I woul* let my son tu#n out li7e youF All mise#a+le an* sha7ing in the mi**le of the nightF HasnUt
ha* a gi#lf#ien* an* he is 2-. ,o you thin7 I woul* eve# allow that to ha&&en to my own sonF "o the soul I +#ought
into this wo#l*F It is not honest an* integ#ous to let you# son suffe# an* not teach him how to sto& suffe#ing. "he#e5s
no &ets in you# familyF Jou neve# ha* a &etF Jou# fathe# *oesnUt li7e my we+site +ecause he *oesnUt un*e#stan* it.
An* &eo&le *onUt li7e what they *onUt un*e#stan*. Jou li7e my we+site +ecause you 7now that I 7now how you can
get out of hell. Jou *onUt t#ust me yet RlaughsS, +ut that is you# &#o+lem.
OK It is li7e I have to choose +etween, so#t of, I guess, my own fathe# an* you, in a way.
SK No, no, I *onUt want to +e you# fathe#.
OK No, no, I un*e#stan* what you mean. In te#ms of what I have to *o, I mean, I was going #eally com&letely
#eta#*e* an* Bust c#a/y, so... I *i*, my fathe# is the#e, I mean I tal7 to him, an* he t#ies to, he gives me a*vice in
te#ms of what to *o, I mean, I totally o&ene* u& to him, I mean, I o&ene* u& to him +ecause, I e>&laine* to him, I
mean, the i*ea is that...
SK .hen was the last time you# fathe# hugge* youF
OK I *onUt 7now.
SK .hen was the last time you c#ie* in you# fathe#s a#msF
OK So##y, whatF
SK "hat JO) %:I8, IN JO): 2A"H8:S A:MSF
Rlong silenceS
SK See what I meanF If JO) ha* a son an* he was messe* u& li7e you, woul*nUt you want to ta7e him into you#
a#ms, an* let him c#yF .oul*nUt youF
OK Jes, it is Bust ha#* to 7now that you a#e not going to get +eyon* that.
SK Jou a#e not going to get it, you a#e 2- an* you *i*nUt get it f#om him, an* you a#e not going to get it f#om him,
eve#. "hat has to +e un*e#stoo*, an* that has to +e o7ay, you 7nowF ,o you have a #ole mo*elF
OK I have a little, I mean yes, I *o, of cou#se. I have &lenty of... I have a f#ien* that... I mean, lots of &eo&le in my life
that I see that a#e, I guessX
SK .hat *o you loo7 u& to in a manF As #ole mo*el, what a#e the Hualities that you a#e see7ing to imitateF
OK .o#7s ha#*... I guess fea#less...
SK 2ea#less, that5s the one. "hatUs why you calle* me. RlaughsS "he way to han*le fea# is that you have to +e willing
to *ie. By that I mean you have to let you# &#i*e *ie.
"o tal7 to a woman, you have to +e wiling to go u& to he#, an* let he# shoot you *own... an* let you# &#i*e *ie. It is
li7e the sol*ie# goes on the +attlefiel*, an* he is willing to *ie fo# something g#eate# them himself. He *ies fo#
count#y, he *ies fo# his woman, he *ies to &#otect his family, he *ies fo# <o*. .hateve# he is *ying fo#, he *oes it in
the +attlefiel* fo# something that is Highe# than himself. .ith women, you let you# &#i*e *ie fo# the love of a goo*
woman.
"o fin* Love you have to +e willing to wal7 th#ough the hail of +ullets, whethe# those +ullets a#e f#om a gun, o# f#om
a woman5s mouth. Because I tell you, women a#e going to +e vicious with you. Some of them a#e going to +e nice
+ut only +ecause you a#e wea7, an* they *onUt want to hu#t you. An* the #est of them will +e vicious. An* you have
to wal7 th#ough all of it, no matte# what, to get to the othe# si*e. "hat5s what it ta7es. Jou *onUt *ie, +ut you# &#i*e
*ies. An* you have to wal7 th#ough it all. An* each time you *o it, it *oesnUt hu#t as much.
But +efo#e you even thin7 a+out women, you have to get you#self a &et, an* you have to lea#n how to love it. It will
teach you how to love it. Jou have to loo7 at the &et li7e it is a+ove you, not +elow you. Because the &et al#ea*y
7nows love, so it is a+ove you, is it notF
OK Jeah, I actually feel this way when I loo7 at animals.
SK .ell, not all animals, the sna7e canUt #eally love you. RlaughsS
%ats an* *ogs a#e awa#e that they e>istG they 7now that they a#e. See, you *onUt have that awa#eness yet. I *onUt
mean 7nowing you e>ist on a &hysical level, I mean 7nowing you e>ist insi*e... an* that you come f#om <o*, the
Sou#ce of you# 8>istence is the <o* of Love. An* this awa#eness you only get when you wal7 th#ough the hail of
+ullets. Othe#wise you a#e Bust a nightma#e. 8ve#y moment is a nightma#e, an* the only way you *eal with this is
with chocolate chi& coo7ies an* a little mastu#+ation to &o#n. An* then you go #ight +ac7 to the nightma#e.
OK "hat5s such... e>actly.
SK Life is one long hea*ache in sea#ch of an as&i#in. 8ve#yone is #unning a#oun* t#ying to fin* the #ight as&i#in, an*
the only as&i#in that wo#7s is love. But fo# love, you gotta get #i* of you# &#i*e. Jou have to a*mit that you a#e a
stu&i* i*iot Bust li7e eve#y+o*y else. Jou have to a*mit it o&enly.
OK It is funny, I guess, since I have live* in the ho&e fo# a solution +asically all of my life, I guess one, my +iggest, I
*onUt want to call it *esi#es +ecause it is Bust coming f#om insecu#ity, it is to so#t of catch u& to &eo&le in te#ms of
e>&e#ience an* all of that.
SK "he way to catch u& to &eo&le is to se#ve them. ,onUt let anothe# homeless +um as7 you fo# change without
giving him you# change. Jou have to fin* o&&o#tunities to se#ve &eo&le. Not to 7iss thei# ass +ut to se#ve them.
Cesus sai*, ?"#eat eve#y+o*y the way you want to +e t#eate*?. See, you havenUt *one a single thing fo# any+o*y in
this wo#l*, +ecause if you ha*... you woul* +e confi*ent. It comes f#om se#ving othe#s. "he confi*ence, the
unwave#ing, un+en*ing confi*ence comes f#om se#ving othe#s. ,i* you eve# thin7 a+out voluntee# wo#7F
OK Jes, a little +it.
SK Bullshit. Jou5#e Bust telling me what I want to hea#. Jou want me to thin7 you5#e a stan*u& guy, when you a#e fa#
f#om that. Jou haven5t thought a+out any+o*y e>ce&t you#self. So you go *o something whe#e you a#e not getting
anything out of it in #etu#n. Jou a#e not getting a&&#oval, you a#e not getting money, you a#e Bust se#ving. "hat is
what you have to *o. Jou wo#7 with all 7in*s of &eo&le that wonUt give you anything in #etu#n. Jou can wo#7 with
sic7 &eo&le, you can wo#7 with ol* +o#ing &eo&le. Ol* &eo&le a#e so +o#ing, I use* to se#ve them. RlaughsS "hey a#e
the most +o#ing &eo&le on the &lanet. But you se#ve them +ecause you want to lea#n a c#ucial lesson that you canUt
get othe#wise, se#ving gives you answe#s that *onUt come f#om you# intellect. Jou can wo#7 with #eta#*e* &eo&le,
homeless &eo&le, *#ug a**icts. So you fin* something that is not fun, an* you *o it anyway. An* that will ta7e you
out of hell.
.hen you hel& some+o*y that is in *ee&e# hell then you, eve#y+o*y is a teache#, the#e a#e &eo&le wo#se off than
you, if you can imagine. So, you fin* them an* you +#ing them to you# level. Jou# level is &#etty ho##i+le, +ut it is not
anywhe#e nea# what #eal hell is li7e. Jou a#e in the u&&e# levels of hell. Shy, mum+ling, w#ithing a#oun* at night,
sHui#ming in &ain, you canUt slee&, neve# fuc7e* a gi#l... "hat5s &eanuts com&a#e* to some &eo&le. So, you fin*
&eo&le that a#e +elow you, an* you se#ve them in one way o# anothe#. Jou se#ve the guy who is so sic7 that he is
s&itting in you# face while you a#e t#ying to fee* him *inne#. An* he th#ows the &late ac#oss the #oom, an* he
&unches you in the stomach, he &isses himself, an* you get u& off of you# chai#, you fo#give him, you clean u& the
mess, an* you +#ing him foo* again an* again until he eats it. "hatUs the way out of hell, that5s how you lea#n love,
is it notF
OK Jes, *efinitely feels that is t#ue.
SK How *o you 7now something is t#ueF "he #eason IUm he#e an* you a#e *own the#e is +ecause I &ai* all those
*ues. .hen I was g#owing u& I *i* all of this stuff. I have +een th#ough so many &ets, an* I have watche* hamste#s
*ie a ho##i+le untimely *eath +ecause I *i*nUt ta7e ca#e of them &#o&e#ly. I lea#ne* the ha#* way, an* I stum+le*
with all of it. I use* to #ea* to the +lin*, I use* to wo#7 with ol* &eo&le. So, you &ay you# *ues. .ith women I was
Bust as ne#vous. I thin7 I woul* #athe# go to wa# an* #is7 getting my lim+s +lown off than #is7 #eBection when I was
younge#. But, I let my &#i*e *ie a thousan* times. It ta7es a lot of #eBection f#om a lot of +eautiful women, +efo#e
&#i*e will let go.
OK I thin7 I will *o eve#ything you sai*.
SK RlaughsS O7ayF
OK Jeah.
SK Any HuestionsF
OK No, no Huestions, not that I can thin7 of.
SK O7ay, one mo#e thing you might want to *o is t#y to fin* a s&i#itual g#ou& in you# a#ea +ecause you canUt *o this
alone. Jou nee* someone, you nee* &eo&le that can hel& &ull you u&, I canUt *o it. I can give you a wa7e u& call
ove# the &hone, +ut I canUt +e the#e fo# you all the time. Jou nee* &eo&le in you# life. Jou nee* to fin* a s&i#itual
g#ou&, the#e must +e a chu#ch in you# a#ea. Jou *onUt hate <o*, *o youF
OK No..I *onUt &a#ticula#ly su+sc#i+e to #eligion +ut...
SK .ell, <o* is not a &a#ent. <o* is not some in*iffe#ent &a#ent that hates you o# *oesnUt ca#e a+out you. <o* is
not a &e#son, you seeF <o* is the invisi+le ene#gy that hol*s all of the &a#ticles an* the whole unive#se togethe#.
Invisi+le ene#gy eve#ywhe#e. An* when you lea#n love you sta#t to tune in to that ene#gy. So you have to fin*
you#self a s&i#itual g#ou& +ecause those &eo&le a#e going to u&lift you.
I woul*nUt +e so Huic7 to *ismiss chu#ch &eo&le. %hu#ch &eo&le a#e &eo&le who ca#e enough a+out love to *o
something a+out it. So with humility you t#y to fin* a s&i#itual g#ou& somewhe#e. Jou can even go to AA, even if you
a#e not an alcoholic. "ell them you a#e a hate$o$holic, it is the same thing. A g#ou& li7e AA will show you what
)ncon*itional Love means. An* that is the +est I can *o fo# you. "he &et, the selfless se#vice, the s&i#itual g#ou&.
Now you 7now the t#uth of how to get out of hell when you a#e #ea*y to wal7 out of hell. At least now you 7now,
the#e is the *oo#, o7ayF
OK Jes, yes...
SK All #ight. "han7s fo# calling, <o* +less youI
OK "han7 you ve#y much.
EE
He may have soun*e* since#e E I guess you woul* have to hea# the au*io #eco#*ing to 7now what I5m tal7ing
a+out. He tol* me eve#ything I wante* to hea#, +ut he meant none of it. He *i*n5t *o a single thing to get +ette# afte#
ou# call *ue to his stu++o#n ,enial of <o* as Love. I coul*n5t wait to get off the &hone with him. An* no, I *on5t feel
so##y fo# him an* I *on5t feel &ity o# sym&athy.
It may soun* col* of me, +ut sym&athy an* *enial a#e actually two si*es of the same coin. Sym&athy fee*s u&on
&eo&le5s *enial +y hel&ing them to #ationali/e an* ma7e e>cuses to &lay the victim. "o have sym&athy fo# &eo&le is
fa# wo#se than &unching them #ight in the face, t#uly.
"#uth is not a ?hea#ts an* flowe#s? o# fai#y$*ust 7in* of ene#gy. %om&assion *oes not cate# to wea7ness. It sim&ly
*oes whateve# it can to hel& someone when it is calle* u&on to *o so, +ut it 7nows whe#e to *#aw the line +etween
t#ue hel& ve#sus sym&athy. %om&assion *oes not go ove# to them, it insists that they come ove# to it. %om&assion,
afte# all, is the #efusal to Boin othe#s in thei# mise#y. It allows &eo&le the f#ee*om of choosing to enBoy the Buiciness
of suffe#ing an* 5victimhoo*5. 4eo&le #eally *o love thei# 5victimhoo*5G %om&assion 7nows this.
NON$IN"8:28:8N%8
I lea#ne* some ve#y valua+le lessons a+out women f#om watching Sta# "#e7 @the o#iginal se#iesA. %a&tain Cames ".
=i#7 is *efinitely someone to emulate. Anyway, one of the laws he ha* to a+i*e +y wheneve# he visite* new &lanets
was the Law of Non$Inte#fe#ence. "hat is, =i#7 an* his c#ew coul* visit the &lanets, +ut they we#e not to inte#fe#e
with thei# way of life an* thei# level of evolution. 2o# e>am&le, if a ce#tain t#i+e was using stones to &#otect
themselves f#om neigh+o#ing t#i+al wa#fa#e, =i#7 was not allowe* to hel& them out +y, fo# e>am&le, offe#ing them
mo#e a*vance* wea&ons o# teaching them how to fight. He ha* to #ef#ain himself f#om inte#fe#ing, +ecause *oing
so woul* +e li7e &laying <o*.
"he same goes with teaching. I t#y to a+i*e +y the Law of Non$Inte#fe#ence. Jou *o whateve# you can to t#y to hel&
&eo&le, +ut you lea#n when to sto& hel&ing them. An* that &#ecise moment of when to sto& hel&ing them is when
you can clea#ly see that they will not hel& themselves. In this &#ecise moment, one must stan* +ac7 an* .itness
the +eauty of thei# 5victimhoo*5 an* stan* in Awe of it5s magnificent &e#fection.
"he Law of Non$Inte#fe#ence a&&lies to all sentient life, inclu*ing ou# *ealings with women. If a woman is stuc7,
say, at the level of consciousness whe#e she cheats on you, o# hates you, o# has +ulimia, o# *oes things that a#e
*est#uctive an* ina&&#o&#iate, *on5t inte#fe#e. ,o not inte#fe#e with <o*5s %#eation. 8ve#ything is <o* +ecause <o*
is the Allness of Life itself. ,on5t inte#fe#e with the &e#fect auto$unfol*ing of <o*5s %#eation. .ith humility, #eali/e
that you, of you#self, *o not have the &owe# to Bu*ge o# even #emotely un*e#stan* .hy "he .o#l* Is As It Is. Jou
@the egoA *on5t have the #ight to Huestion Him. Only Se#viceI
I *on5t 7now why that guy is so stuc7 in ,enial that he woul* consciously an*9o# unconsciously choose to suffe#
#athe# than +e f#ee an* enBoy life. But with humility, I see that I *on5t have the #ight to inte#fe#e unless he since#ely
as7s me to. An* he *i*n5t as7 me to, not #eally.
On the su#face it may seem li7e he wante* my hel&, +ut *ee& *own, he wante* to show me the magnificence of his
glo#ious suffe#ing. 4eo&le love thei# sa* sto#y an* they love to lament it. "he 2-$yea#$ol* vi#gin sec#etly loves that
women won5t fuc7 him.
S88IN< "H8 S8%:8" INN8: 4L8AS):89<L88
It ta7es a while to +e a+le to see that &eo&le #eally *o ?love? thei# suffe#ing. "he#e has to +e a willingness to see
that you love you# own suffe#ing. "hat is, you# ego9min* is a**icte* to negativity. @"his 7in* of info#mation isn5t fo#
the faint$hea#te*.A S&en* the #est of the *ay noticing how you# min* loves to suffe#. Notice how it g#avitates to
negativity. ,on5t #ag on you#self fo# it, an* *on5t &ut you#self *own. "he min* is Bust *oing what min*s *o when they
have +ecome unhealthy *ue to not having +een +o#n into a +eautiful holy ash#am with ;en Maste#s fo# &a#ents.
"he wo#l* is not awa#e that it loves it5s own suffe#ing, as the wo#l* is not awa#e that it is mentally ill. 2o# the most
&a#t, most of the ego5s of man7in* a#e clea#ly mentally ill. "he lac7 of Love has +#ought them to a state of lite#ally
wanting to suffe#. "he lac7 of Love has le* 5ego5 to a state of insanity, t#uly. It is only necessa#y to #emove the
+lin*e#s of ,enial to see the t#uth that man7in* is la#gely an insane s&ecies. A&&#o>imately '-D of humans a#e
lite#ally inca&a+le of even the most +asic Integ#ity @an* the#efo#e LoveA, as we saw with the a+ove calle#.
"he min* loves to suffe# +ecause it is &utting on a show fo# <o*. It wants to mani&ulate an* cont#ol <o*, so it t#ies
to gain sym&athy f#om Him. Cust as the young man wante* my sym&athy, so his ego is see7ing <o*5s sym&athy.
"he ego often fails to #eali/e that <o* is not a human +eing who can +e +a#gaine* with. One must t#ain it to see
that <o* is the Sou#ce of its ve#y 8>istence. .e must *#o& the ,enial an* come to see the &e#fection of each
moment of each *ay, without e>ce&tion.
"he im&o#tance of lea#ning to #ecogni/e the ego9min* actually loves to suffe# an* &lay the 5victim5 in o#*e# to
mani&ulate <o* E not unli7e a tem&e# tant#um E is a+solutely =8J.
"he#efo#e, to*ay5s homewo#7 is to .itness the ego @+oth in you#self an* in othe#sA an* +ecome ente#taine* +y its
en*less suffe#ing games. "o let go of suffe#ing, it is only necessa#y to let go of the sec#et &leasu#a+le satisfaction
involve* in it. "o *o this, you fi#st have to see it with you# own eyes E you can5t Bust #ea* these wo#*s an* e>&ect an
intellectuali/e* un*e#stan*ing of this to +e of any hel& whatsoeve#. Jou nee* to s&en* time .itnessing the glee of
suffe#ing, an* allow the t#uth of these statements to +lossom into you# awa#eness ove# time. It ta7es time to see
that &eo&le #eally *o enBoy thei# suffe#ing @as sic7 as it soun*sIA.
Cust have an intention to see the glee an* &leasu#a+le satisfaction of suffe#ing, +oth in you# own min*, an* in
othe#s. "he#e will come a time when even the most ho##ific suffe#ing seems hila#ious an* ve#y +eautiful. I #eali/e
how ?col*? this must soun*, initially. But, let go of ,enial an* you5ll see the glo#ious t#uth. "he ego is Bust &laying
"he <ame of ,#amati/eG it is &e#fectly O= to see the +eauty, the ente#tainment value, an* the humo# in it. Love
you# ego an* than7 it fo# &utting on a goo* showI Jou# ego will go to any lengths to get you# a&&#oval an*
vali*ation an* es&ecially sym&athyG it will gla*ly ta7e you all the way to Hell if that is what it ta7es to get you to Love
it...
"he#efo#e, sta#t now.
-. .omani/ing "he Basics
Hello again In to*ay5s a#ticle I5* li7e to sha#e anothe# t#ansc#i+e* consultation with you. In this one, the stu*ent an*
I tac7le* many of the +asic, common issues that men have #ega#*ing +eing with women, an* we cove#e* many
as&ects, &e#ha&s the &#evailing as&ect ha* to *o with yeste#*ay5s theme #ega#*ing the sec#et &leasu#a+le
satisfaction the human ego e>&e#iences th#ough it5s i*entification with 5victimhoo*5.
Although it is usually su#&#ising to hea# that the ego loves to suffe#, it is only necessa#y to #emove ,enial in o#*e# to
see the t#uth of this. Of cou#se, the#e is also the othe# si*e of the coin. Man7in* also hates to suffe# @fo# o+vious
#easonsIA, an* yet he loves to suffe#. "he ego is +uilt on a se#ies of cont#a*ictionsG man is in*ee* a wal7ing, tal7ing
cont#a*iction an* a hy&oc#ite who ten*s towa#* a ?love9hate #elationshi&? #ega#*ing Bust a+out eve#ything, inclu*ing
suffe#ing. 1e#y often, in o#*e# to *eal with his confusing inne#$conflict, man #e&#esses one si*e o# the othe#. In some
e>t#eme cases, he *evelo&s 5multi&le$&e#sonality *iso#*e#5, +ut even in the ave#age man the#e ten*s to +e a ce#tain
amount of this multi&le$&e#sonality syn*#ome.
All of this is im&e#sonal.
"hat is, it is necessa#y to #eali/e that the ego is a collective &henomenon which has its #oots in the animal 7ing*om.
"he#e #eally is only one ego e>&#essing itself th#ough multi&le animal +o*ies. "he ego has evolve* itself th#ough
the animal wo#l* an* on u& to human7in*. Although man +elieves himself to +e su&e#io# to animals +ecause of his
intellect an* ca&acity fo# thin7ingness, when seen fo# what the intellect #eally is, it +ecomes o+vious that man5s
intellectual ca&acity is #eally Bust a new 5+#anch5 off the 5ego t#ee5 in that it is then use* to su+se#ve his animal
*esi#es. "he intellect is a tool which ?su&e#cha#ges? man5s a+ility to +e an animal.
It is im&o#tant to see that the ego is im&e#sonalG it this way one aligns with t#uth. Not only is the ego im&e#sonal, +ut
it is also ve#y naive an* innocent, Bust as animals a#e innocently 5+eing what they a#e5 so it is with one5s own
ego9self.
"o #emem+e# that the ego is innocent &#eclu*es guilt.
"he intellect can also +e use* towa#* s&i#itual g#owth an* the :eali/ation of <o*$consciousness. Although man
+elieves his intellect automatically ma7es him 5su&e#io#5 to animals, the only #eal an* #elia+le way fo# him to su#&ass
the animal 7ing*om is in his &u#suit of the &e#fection of Love. As it is, any common sense a+i*ing human +eing can
clea#ly see that some animals *o have the a+ility to Love, the ve#y &ea7 of which a#e *oggies an* 7ittiesI
It is a fact that *ogs an* cats a#e mo#e highly evolve* than a&&#o>imately 6D of humans. Of cou#se, I am tal7ing
a+out s&i#itual evolution, an* not #u*imenta#y intellectual evolution. "he a+ility fo# t#ue S&i#itual Love is only
attaine* +y a+out (D of the human &o&ulation, an* the a+ility fo# )ncon*itional Love is only attaine* +y a+out 0.(D
of the &o&ulation, usually in &e#sons whom a#e e>t#emely committe* an* *evote* to <o* @e.g., nuns, &#iests,
a*vance* me*itato#s, an* &eo&le in a va#iety of highly *evote* s&i#itual g#ou&sA. %ont#astingly, when a *og wags
its tail an* when a cat &u##s, it #eaches a state of t#ue S&i#itual Love, sometimes #efe##e* to as ?love with no su+Bect
o# o+Bect.? It is Bust Love as an ene#gy fiel* with no &a#ticula# *i#ection o# favo#itism. Rsee Haw7ins, 2002.S
Inasmuch as <o* an* Love a#e one an* the same thing, when a 7itty &u##s o# when a *og wags its tail, they a#e in
a state of <o*$consciousness, as any #easona+ly healthy &et owne# who has e>&e#ience* such &henomenon
woul* #ea*ily attest to. Such a &owe#ful &#esence of &u#e S&i#itual Love is what accounts fo# the fact that in the
).S. the#e a#e a+out '' million 7itties an* 3- million *oggies 7e&t an* owne* as &ets. @It is one thing to say 5*og5 o#
5cat5, +ut &e#ha&s a highe# s&i#itual ene#gy fiel* of Love is accesse* when one uses the te#ms 57itty5 an* 5*oggie5IA
.ith *ee& humility, one can #eali/e that *oggies an* 7itties can +e g#eat "eache#s of S&i#itual Love fo# human7in*
to loo7 5u& to5 #athe# than *own u&on. "he &#esence of such a won*e#ful &et is actually the 4#esence of <o* in
one5s home. 8ve#y &et owne# 7nows that. 4e#ha&s they 7now it consciously in some cases an* unconsciously in
othe#s, +ut they all 7now that <o* is nea# wheneve# they s&en* time with thei# &ets.
An* yes, I5m actually going to s&en* time going on an* on a+out the inc#e*i+le im&o#tance of owning a &et. I #eali/e
I was 5su&&ose* to5 +e sha#ing a t#ansc#i+e* consultation with you, +ut the S&i#itual Love I have fo# my sac#e* &ets
has ta7en ove# this a#ticle. "he t#ansc#i+e* consultation will have to come tomo##ow. "his to&ic is too im&o#tant,
es&ecially in the conte>t of teaching this to&ic calle* .omani/e. Befo#e .omani/e can ta7e &lace in a +ig way, one
shoul* su##oun* one5s self with S&i#itual Love as much as &ossi+le.
"he #eason I c#eate* this ?Bo+? fo# myself is +ecause I wante* to imme#se myself in the to&ic of Love, *ay in an*
*ay out, so that I coul* &#og#essively &e#fect myself in this a#ea. By w#iting, s&ea7ing, living an* +#eathing Love
eve#y single *ay of the wee7 fo# seve#al yea#s, com+ine* with having the social &#essu#es &lace* u&on me via the
e>&ectations of thousan*s of stu*ents o# 5fans5 wo#l*wi*e, I5ve &lace* myself in a situation in which the#e is
nowhe#e to #un, haven5t IF
"his is what it ta7es. "he *eg#ee of ,evotion must +e e>t#emely high. "he ego9min* is &#og#amme* to avoi* Love,
#esist LoveG it actually has an ave#sion to Love +ecause on some level it 7nows that Love is &#ecisely what will un*o
its &#og#amming an* *ominion. "hus, in o#*e# to su#vive, it will attem&t to cleve#ly thwa#t you# effo#ts, *ea#est In any
way that it can. "eaching )ncon*itional Love, as well as lea#ning to su##en*e# to the state myself, has shown me
Bust how cleve# the ego #eally is in essentially t#ic7ing &eo&le off this &athway. It will use eve#y tool at its *is&osal,
inclu*ing the *evelo&ment of alle#gies.
As a young +oy, I foun* this little *oggie an* was allowe* to 7ee& him until someone claime* him +ac7. Of cou#se, I
fell in S&i#itual Love with it, an* giving him +ac7 to his owne#s afte# two whole wee7s of 5+athing5 in its *oggie au#a
was a+solutely hea#t+#ea7ing. I +egge* an* &lea*e* fo# my mothe# to &lease get me a *oggie of my own, +ut she
coul* not *ue to having an alle#gy to *ogs. A cou&le yea#s late#, a 7itty s&ontaneously wal7e* into ou# home @I ha*
left the *oo# wi*e o&enA an* when I *iscove#e* him @o# he#FA, the 7itty sta#te* &u##ing an* #u++ing u& against my
legs. I fell into a state of S&i#itual Love on the s&ot, +ut E of cou#se E my mothe# was alle#gic. I was allowe* to &lay
with the 7itty outsi*e, +ut a few *ays late# the 7itty sto&&e* coming ove# to &lay with me fo# un7nown #easons.
Although I +egge* fo# a 7itty of my own, nothing coul* convince my mothe#... She was, afte# all, alle#gic to them.
An alle#gy is a mista7e f#om the immune system, which has the Bo+ of classifying fo#eign su+stances which ente#
ou# +o*ies as eithe# 5goo*5 o# 5+a*5 @i.e., *ange#ous ve#sus ine#tA. 8ve#y so often, the immune system ma7es an
e##o# an* ma#7s something as 5*ange#ous5 when it #eality, it is actually neut#al. "he immune system then goes into
attac7 mo*e, +ut since it is attac7ing something ha#mless, it en*s u& semi$attac7ing itself in the &#ocess. "his is
what then accounts fo# the alle#gic sym&toms @e.g., &uffy eyes, #unny nose, et al.A.
Alle#gies also have unconscious #easons fo# +eing the#e, o# what they call 5secon*a#y gain5. 2o# e>am&le, someone
may *evelo& an alle#gy to cats *ue to +eing af#ai* of cats, +ut not having enough self$esteem to sim&ly a*mit to the
wo#l* that they5#e af#ai* of cats. "hus, an alle#gy *evelo&s an* &#ovi*es them with the socially acce&ta+le e>cuse
that they nee* to avoi* facing thei# fea#s.
A few yea#s afte# I fi#st fell in love with that little *oggie, I was #i*ing my +icycle one *ay on a sunny afte#noon when
all of a su**en, f#om out of nowhe#e, a la#ge *og s&otte* me an* +egan chasing me in a state of fu#ious ange#. As I
&e**le* an* &e**le*, a &anic a#ose in me an* the e>&e#ience le* to the *evelo&ment of an intense &ho+ia of *ogs.
Late# on in life, as a young a*ult living on my own, I got myself a 7itty an* I have owne* va#ious 7itties eve# since. I
*ecla#e* myself to +e mo#e of a 5cat &e#son5 than a 5*og &e#son5. Of cou#se, to*ay I am neithe#. Jea#s of *evote*
s&i#itual wo#7, inclu*ing thousan*s of hou#s of *ee& me*itation have #esulte* in a state of nea#$fea#lessness, so
the#e is no mo#e ave#sion to *ogs o# othe# animals. @Actually, I still have an ave#sion to was&s, come to thin7 of itIA
Alle#gies can +e heale* an* t#anscen*e*. .hen I was a+out 1'$yea#s$ol*, I was *ee&ly imme#se* in the stu*y of
the human min* an* #an a few a*s in the local news&a&e#s @the Inte#net wasn5t +o#n yetA as a &sychothe#a&ist, an*
one of the 5+ullet&oints5 in the list of things I coul* hel& &eo&le with was alle#gies. A young woman came in an* was
highly motivate* to own a cat, +ut he# alle#gies &#eclu*e* he# f#om +eing a+le to *o so. )sing sim&le stimulus$
#es&onse techniHues on he# alle#gy, we #et#aine* he# immune system so that it no longe# ma#7e* cat hai# an*
saliva as 5*ange#5. A+out a wee7 late#, she sent me a &hoto of he#self su##oun*e* +y 7itties, with no alle#gic
#eaction. Mo#e than the sim&le 4avlovian stimulus$#es&onse techniHue @calle* 5ancho#ing5A, it was he# since#e
ea#nestness that heale* he# alle#gy.
In othe# wo#*s, it was he# *ee& S&i#itual Love of 7itties that heale* he#. Love is an healing ene#gy fiel* ca&a+le of
healing Bust a+out anything. In my ea#ly thi#ties I *evelo&e* an incu#a+le *isease an* I heale* it using Love. "he
*isease lite#ally Bust *isa&&ea#e* fo#eve#. I5ve neve# tol* a *octo# a+out this, +ut it heale* +ecause I was willing to
a&&ly the Swo#* of "#uth u&on it consistently fo# Bust a few wee7s, an* the S&i#itual Swo#* is ve#y ca&a+le of cutting
th#ough eve#y single one of the unconscious &#og#ams an* +eliefs @li7e a 7nife th#ough wa#m +utte#A. One only has
to #es&ect an* #eve#e S&i#itual "#uth an* +e willing to su##en*e# to it un#ese#ve*ly an* with humility @i.e., 2aithA.
"he "#uth I acce&te* without con*itions o# #ese#vations was that I am an Infinite Being an* the#efo#e not su+Bect to
*isease. As &e# the suggeste* affi#mation sha#e* +y the &sychiat#ist an* enlightene* mystic, ,#. ,avi* :. Haw7ins,
each an* eve#y single time a thought a#ose in this min* #ega#*ing my *isease, I sim&ly sto&&e* an* *ecla#e*, ?In
"#uth, I am an Infinite Being an* not su+Bect to *isease. I now cancel all +eliefs an* &#og#ams an* allow <o* to
heal this. Amen.?
I must have #e&eate* the affi#mation a+out one thousan* times ove# the cou#se of a few wee7s, an* li7e magic, the
*isease *isa&&ea#e* an* will neve# #etu#n. In so *oing, I su##en*e#e* the &#i*e$+ase* ,enial calle* 5victimhoo*5. I
sto&&e* *enying the "#uth. I gave &e#mission fo# the Swo#* of "#uth cut th#ough my *isease, an* it heale* fully an*
com&letely.
<et into the ha+it of using the a+ove affi#mation, an* use it since#ely if you can. It may ta7e a little while fo# you#
faith to tu#n into a #oc7$li7e conviction an* inne# =nowingness, as the min* will initially &ut u& some #esistance as it
usually *oes when it is conf#onte* +y the Swo#* of S&i#itual "#uth, which is not *iffe#ent f#om Love itself. Love,
"#uth, S&i#it, an* <o* all mean one an* the same thing.
If you a#e alle#gic to &ets, cancel you# alle#gy sta#ting to*ay. If you *on5t have a *oggie o# a 7itty, you must. In o#*e#
to t#uly achieve the state calle* .omani/e, only one thing an* one thing only must occu#. "hat is, you nee* to sta#t
choosing Love a+ove all othe# tem&ting o&tions. Love has to +ecome mo#e im&o#tant than *enial, &#i*e,
Bustifications, e>cuses, an* fea#. ?Let you# na#cissistic &#i*e *ie fo# <o*, let it *ie fo# Love? is something I say to
myself an* to stu*ents Huite often.
.hile you5#e on you# way to the &et sto#e o# animal shelte# to*ay, 7ic7 a#oun* this affi#mation, ?In "#uth, I am an
Infinite Being an* not su+Bect to Y?, whe#e Y can +e anything #anging f#om thoughts, fea#s, &#i*e, o# even a
*isease. =ic7 it a#oun* in you# min*, me*itate u&on it, contem&late u&on its meaning, an* enBoy the imme*iate
s&i#itual, mental, emotional, an* &hysical +enefits which come f#om su##en*e#ing one5s &#i*e to the Swo#* of
S&i#itual "#uth.
If you al#ea*y own a &et, ta7e some time to*ay to hum+ly ac7nowle*ge that you# &et #e&#esents the 4#esence of
<o* in you# life, an* #eve#e it. Jou# &et is #eally a Bu**haG it is a &e#fecte* Being of Light, Love, an* <o*liness. It
*oesn5t have annoying thin7ingness li7e you *o, an* it *oesn5t suffe# li7e you *oG its min* is Silent. It *oesn5t have
en*less 5commenta#yness5 a+out eve#ything it witnessesG it sim&ly witnesses All "hat Is f#om a state of Silent Bliss.
Become it5s hum+le stu*ent. "#eat it as though it is you# ;en Maste#.
Afte# all, you# &et can ?have? any woman he wants. "o .omani/e, one must +ecome as sim&le, silent, hum+le,
loving, an* innocent as one5s &et.
In ;en the#e is a saying that the one who t#ies to catch two chic7ens catches neithe# of them. "he#e is nothing mo#e
im&o#tant in you# life than the su##en*e# to LoveG eve#ything else can wait.
One of my favo#ite s&i#itual &#actices is to mimic9mi##o# my 7itty, +y sim&ly ?acting as if? I have a silent @an* *ee&ly
contentA min* as he *oes. "hat is, I will often *#o& whateve# it is that I5m *oing an* sim&ly O+se#ve him in silence,
t#eating him as my S&i#itual Maste#. "his can +e a ve#y fun an* e*ucative &#actice @to say the leastA.
So, if he is Bust sitting the#e, sta#ing at nothing in &a#ticula#, I will sta#e at nothing in &a#ticula#, also. If he #olls
a#oun* on the g#oun* in Boyful aliveness, I too will #oll a#oun* on the g#oun* with him an* mimic his +ehavio#s as
+est I can. An* if he &u##s, although I can5t &u## li7e he *oes, I *o my +est to &#eten* li7e I am. I &u## u& a sto#m fo#
<o* an* give than7s to "hee, Oh Lo#*, fo# the <ift of Life itself.
I #eve#e an* wo#shi& my 7itty +ecause my 7itty has a silent min*.
,ee&ly wanting a silent min* within myself, I t#y to co&y an* 5mi##o#5 him as +est I can, so that I can lea#n that
Silence is 8nough. It *oes ta7e time to lea#n something li7e thisG Silence #esults in the state of 8nlightenment. So, I
Bust *o the +est I can, an* that5s #eally all you can *o.
.hen the 7itty ente#s a &layful moo*, sometimes I5ll Boin him an* sta#t chasing imagina#y f#ien*s an* little +ugs tooI
"he 7ittie5s &layfulness is a *oo#way into one5s hea#t an* s&i#it. "he ave#age man ta7es himself so se#iously, +ut in
the mimic#y of that which *oes not ta7e itself too se#iously, one lea#ns to +e #elatively f#ee f#om self$o+session an*
na#cissism.
"he .o#shi& of 4ets is a highly #ecommen*e* @an* ve#y authenticA s&i#itual &#actice fo# it lea*s to Humility, which is
the lesson man must lea#n in o#*e# to get out of his ,enial. "he ave#age man mostly wo#shi&s his own
ego9min*9intellect an* the #esulting emotions an* thoughts. Man is essentially stuc7 in a house of mi##o#s, with
"#uth, Coy, Love, an* :eality +eing 5outsi*e5 of his su##oun*ing mi##o#$home. "he man who *oesn5t .omani/e to a
significant *eg#ee is only this way +ecause he &#efe#s to .omani/e his own #eflection in a mi##o#.
"hus, the men who come in see7ing hel& usually com&lain of +eing shy o# of having 5a&&#oach an>iety5. "his is a
state of +eing self$conscious E that is, ove#ly conscious of how one loo7s to othe#s within one5s imagination.
Shyness is a state of imagina#y inne# mi##o#s. "he 7ey is to fo#get a+out one5s self an* *iscove# the +eauty of
women. Although man *efinitely 7nows women a#e ve#y +eautiful c#eatu#es, he only 7nows a small &e#centage of
women5s +eauty *ue to +eing stuc7 su##oun*e* +y all of his mi##o#s. "hese mi##o#s a#e what
&#eclu*e9+loc79limit9&#event him f#om having a significant enough *eg#ee of 4#esence.
In the #eve#ence, awe, wo#shi&, an* mimic#y of one5s *oggie o# 7itty, the house of mi##o#s +egins to *issolve.
Inasmuch as the *oggie an* 7ittie a#e not stuc7 in such a na#cissistic9mi##o# state, in lea#ning to imitate them, one
lea#ns what it is to +e f#ee f#om the self$conscious o# self$o+sessive state of ,enial.
"he 7itty, fo# e>am&le, is ca&a+le of Beingness. "hat is, it can sim&ly Be. A 7itty can sim&ly sit the#e an* *o nothing
fo# seve#al hou#s an* neve# com&lains of +o#e*om o# *e&#ession. It *oesn5t suffe# f#om #estlessness an* e>istential
angst *ue to having a stac7 of self$o+sesse* mi##o#s. Man +ecomes mentally ill *ue to his constant thin7ingness
a+out himself. But the 7itty *oes not un*e#stan* such a con*itionG the 7itty has ve#y little self$inte#est.
.hen man5s constant thin7ingness @i.e., na#cissistic self$o+sessionA #eaches a *eg#ee he calls ?st#ess?, he then
see7s out #eme*ies an* comfo#ts such as television, vi*eo games, alcohol an* &a#ties, &o#n an* lust, ove#wo#7ing,
an* mo#e. "hese all se#ve as an ente#taining *ist#action so that he can tem&o#a#ily fo#get a+out himself an* focus
on something ?out the#e? #athe# than the annoying ?in he#e? of his constant an* neve#$en*ing st#eam of thoughts
an* inne# commenta#y @i.e., the &#ocess of Mentali/eA. Although man wo#shi&s his intellect, it simultaneously
im&#isons him an* often lea*s him *ee&e# an* *ee&e# into the house of na#cissistic mi##o#s of self$o+session to
such a seve#e *eg#ee that he can neve# esca&e it, fo# 8te#nity @i.e., 8te#nal HellA. It is the#efo#e im&e#ative fo# him to
ac7nowle*ge that such a con*ition has +efallen him an* to see7 ?Love an* only Love? as the way out f#om the
house of na#cissism$mi##o#s @i.e., Mentali/eA.
"he 7itty *oes not nee* an intellect, no# *oes he nee* to mentali/e a+out anything at all. "he 7itty sim&ly 8>ists,
ha&&ily an* without #estlessness. "he 7itty 7nows that 8>istence an* Coy a#e one an* the sameG the 7itty intuits the
Sou#ce of its own 8>istence comes f#om <o* an* the#efo#e Love.
In the &#actice of ?*oggie o# 7itty wo#shi&?, so to s&ea7, the house of mi##o#s *issolves an* is #e&lace* +y silent
innocence. "his is the 7ey to .omani/ing.
. 1isuali/e 1e#sus 2antasi/e
.elcome +ac7.
Let me sta#t +y sha#ing a t#ansc#i+e* &hone consultation with you...
R%onsultation with Ste&hane HemonS
SK Hello an* welcome to i*ea<asms
OK umm hi
SK My name is Ste&hane, how may I hel& you to*ayF RLaughs lightlyS
OK Hey Ste&hane, how a#e youF
SK Cust #emem+e#ing this com&any I use* to wo#7 fo# on the &hones. 8ve#y time I ha* to answe# the &hones I ha*
to say, W.elcome to com&anyI My name is Ste&hane, how may I hel& youFV
RBoth LaughS
SK I use* to say that a+out (- times a *ay.
OK "hatUs Bust li7e me RLaughsS
SK Oh yeah, you wo#7e* at a call cente#F
OK umm, not a call cente#, a #eal estate com&anyX
SK Oh yeah, yeah, yeah you got a <OOOO, Bo+I
RBoth laughS
OK It was #eally fun.
SK hmmm
OK Hol* on I *i* not +#ing my &#int out, I left it in the &#inte#, I will +e #ight +ac7
SK O=I
X
OK Al#ight so, how a#e we going to *o thisF ,o I Bust as7 Huestions o# *o we Bust tal7F
SK Jeah, anything you want.
OK Jeah, thatUs +eautiful, so umm...
SK Jou Bust hi#e* me fo# an hou#, so &ut me to wo#7I
OK 4ut you to wo#7, yes si#, I ho&e I can get as much out of it.
RBoth LaughS
OK So I *onUt 7now if you #ea* the email, +ut IUm Bust going to sha#e my #eal intentions.
SK I *i* #ea* it, +ut I *o not #emem+e# it.
OK "hatUs fine, thatUs fine...
SK I have +een w#iting an* tal7ing all *ay.
OK Jeah, you have +een +usy all *ay tal7ing to &eo&le. )mm, So I Bust #eally wante* to get *own an* get to the
hea#t of ta7ing what you want f#om the wo#l*, o# f#om women. I #eally wante* to get *own to it an* this actually, well
my intent is the g#ow the &a#a*igm that I am living in #ight now so I can actually *o something an* actually ta7e
what I want f#om the wo#l* instea* of. R.hiney voiceS ?oh I *o not want to hu#t thei# feelings, o# something, I *onUt
7now...? R.hiney voice en*sS. Any comment on thatF
SK Jou5ve got to t#anscen* guilt fo# thatX.
OK <uiltX o7X an* li7e, coul* you e>&an* on howF
SK Jou have to see the &leasu#e of &ainX
OK O=, soX
SK If you hu#t some+o*yUs feelings, you5ve got to see that they enBoy having thei# feelings hu#t. "hen you *onUt feel
guilty when you &ut you# han* on a gi#lUs tit an* she gets all offen*e*.
OK Hmm
SK Because you see that she LOOO18S R,#awn out fo# how much the woman enBoys itS +eing offen*e*. She loves
to 5&uff u&5 an* &#oclaim that she is offen*e* to the wo#l*. An* that she is 5mo#ally su&e#io#5 to you, the offen*e#. So
you5ve got to t#anscen* victim9&e#&et#ato# consciousnessX An* see that the victim an* &e#&et#ato#, is #eally Bust
the ego itself, it is not you an* what you *o in the wo#l*G +ecause you a#e a &#etty consi*e#ate guyX X
OK umm, yeah, I li7e to thin7 soX RHesitatingly says this an* chuc7lesS
SK I mean, you *o not go a#oun* stealing moto#cycles.
OK "hatUs t#ue, Rlaughs lightlyS
SK :a&ing teenage#s, an* 7illing &olice menF
OK JeahX none of that, the wo#st IUve eve# *one was ta7en a +ag of chi&sI
RBoth laughS
OK an* then I #etu#ne* it an* &ai* the guy
SK #ight, so you *o not have to wo##y a+out you# consi*e#ation. In a sense, you have too much of it. Jou a#e wal7ing
on eggshells. Sooo, you have to see that no matte# what you *o in the wo#l* an* how much you &e#fect you#self,
no matte# how saintly you +ecome, &eo&le a#e always going to +itch a+out what you *o an* +lame you fo# things...
RLong &auseS
OK o7
SK No Matte# .hat Jou ,OX
OK I see Rsoftly s&o7enS, o7
SK No matte#, how &u#e an* holy you +ecome, Bust the fact that you inte#act with &eo&leX on any level, fo# any
#eason, +#ings a +it of 7a#ma to you X
RLong 4auseS
OK o7
SK So when you see that &eo&le love to sha7e thei# fists in the ai# in fu#ious ange# Rvoice of ange#S, &eo&le love to
c#yG li7e the &oo# little gi#l that is hu#t Rvoice of &oo# meS. "hat is an a#chety&e isnUt itF 4oo# little gi#l thatUs hu#t.. ?He
hu#t meII? Rlittle gi#l voiceS, an* they love to &lay that game. "hey *o not 7now consciously what they a#e *oing, +ut
it is a *#eam that they a#e *#eaming an* they love it, they love to *#eam it, othe#wise they woul* have wo7en u&X
ye&. So what so#t of things *o you want to ta7e f#om the wo#l*F
OK umm, so Bust a few e>am&les, itUs mostly a#oun* 7issing a gi#l.
SK Jeah, you gotta view it asX it comes out in you# language &atte#n an* you have to view it asX JouU#e viewing it
as ta7ing a 7iss, stealing a 7iss, an* you a#e not seeing it as giving a 7iss.
RLong 4auseS
OK Xo7 Rsoftly s&o7enSX an* I also have this little &#og#amming going on whe#e it is li7e, somewhe#e, sometime,
someone tol* me you shoul* wait a while to 7iss a gi#l, +ut then I am saying to myself, that *oesnUt ma7e sense.
SK .ell you shoul*nUt go with time, you shoul* go with the s&ontaneity of the moment X ,onUt c#eate a &#og#am
a#oun* 7issing that says you shoul* 7iss them fast, o# 7iss them not fast. I tell guys to 7iss them fast +ecause
gene#ally itUs the way I li7e to *o it. I *o not have time to fool a#oun* with these little gi#ls that a#e af#ai* to 7iss.
"hey 7now they want to 7iss me within the fi#st minute of meeting me, so what the fuc7IF A woman gene#ally
*eci*es if she wants you within the fi#st minute anywayI So why *o men wait a#oun* fo# th#ee months +efo#e they
7iss he#F
OK gotcha, gotchaX
SK Jou seeX An* if they *onUt feel li7e 7issing me, well you 7now when they want to 7iss you o# not soX
OK "hatUs t#ueXI RLaughs a +itSX an* then I Bust *onUt *o itXumm
SK So how come you *onUt *o itF
OK I get stuc7 in my hea*.
SK Jeah, +ut whatUs the fea#F If I wante* to +e you fo# a *ay an* I ha* to have you# fea#, what woul* I &ictu#e insi*e
my hea* that woul* get me to hesitate in my 7issingnessF
OK ummX I notice that I want, the#e is this conflict whe#e I want to, +asically I want to leech them an* have them
the#e an* not #un away li7e sca#e* little gi#ls. .he#e +asically I 7iss them an* the fea# is that they #un away. I
#emem+e# a limiting +elief that says, If I 7iss them, then they will #un away. An* say something li7e, Woh you
wei#*oXV
SK .ei#*oF
OK yeah something c#a/y
SK what elseF
OK An* ummX IUm alsoX I guess I *o feel guilty that sometimes the gi#ls I *onUt #eally want. ItUs li7e, I tal7 to them
fo# a while an* my +o*y is li7eX Wyeah IUm ha&&y, I *onUt #eally nee* to have se> nowUX But then my min* goes,
Whey, youU#e not &lowing th#ough you# fea#s, you shoul* Bust 7iss them, Bust to see if you can *o it.V An* then I get
this conflict within myself whe#e I *o not 7now what is consi*e#ate.
SK Jeah, yeah, yeahX you 7iss a gi#l +ecause you want to 7iss that gi#l. No othe# #eason. Not to &low th#ough fea#s
o# +ecome the g#eatest &ic7 u& a#tist. =iss he# +ecause you genuinely want to, an* fo# no othe# #eason. Othe#wise
you5ll gene#ate unwante* 7a#ma. So what you gotta *o with the hesitation is you gotta visuali/e two things. Jou
gotta visuali/e a &ositive outcome, so you &#acticeX this is going to +e li7e a &#aye#. Jou visuali/e you#self 7issing
gi#ls, an* having them love it. An* genuinely wanting it, an* +eing &e#fectly #ece&tive. An* you also might want to
s&en* time visuali/ing #eBectionX Because you a#e going to get +oth out the#e, so you visuali/e #eBection an* you
figu#e out in a*vance how you want to emotionally han*le that #eBection in the most matu#e way &ossi+le. So, you
a#e going to 7iss gi#ls an* some of them a#e going to tu#n away, an* they *o it fo# va#ious #easons. "he t#ic7 is,
when they tu#n awayX what you want to *o is you sayX W"hatUs al#ight, weUll 7iss a little late# when you feel mo#e
comfo#ta+le.V
.hen you say that, then she is going to s&ontaneously tell you the #eason why she *i*nUt 7iss you in the fi#st &lace,
+ecause you want to 7now the #eason #ightF
RBoth LaughS
.hatF .hy wonUt you 7iss meXF... so when you say WthatUs al#ight weUll 7iss a little late# when you a#e feeling a
little mo#e comfo#ta+leXV #ight away you get a *iffe#ent, well fi#st of all, they a#e not e>&ecting that. Secon* of all, it
is #eally, #eally, confi*ent an* it *oesnUt a&ologi/e fo# loving a gi#l, an* wanting he#, #ightF
OK JesX
SK Some of them a#e going to tease you a little +it an* say, Woh, a#enUt you miste# confi*ent unive#seV Rmoc7ingly
saying thisSX
RLong &auseS
OK yeahX RLight laughS
SK "o which you say, WI *on5t 7now, &e#ha&s I Bust 7now what I li7e.V
OK o7X
SK Some of them a#e going toX 2#ee/eX +y that I mean they Bust *onUt 7now what to *o an* say, you can tell they
a#e f#ee/ing u&. ItUs li7e they canUt move o# s&ea7. "heyU#e 7in* of loo7ing *ownX
"o which you Bust go WShhhhhhhhhh,V an* you say, WitUs o7V an* that will loosen them u&. ?Shh? ten*s to Huiet the
min*.
OK an* what I have +een *oing fo# myself is Bust sighingX an* I *o not 7now
SK .ell that shows wea7ness. It shows you *o not 7now what you a#e *oing, an* you Bust got insecu#e. Because if
you see it th#ough he# eyes an* the guy goes, Rwhiney sigh soun*S
OK RlaughS
SK No, *o it my way, my way has +een teste* on a thousan* women.
OK Al#ight, IUll ma7e su#eX
SK An* itUs +een tailo#e* an* &e#fecte*.
RBoth LaughS
My way is the way of the Big Mac. No matte# what &eo&le say a+out the Big Mac, the Big Mac is an a+solute,
&e#fecte* scul&tu#e of *ivine won*e#ment, is it notF
RBoth LaughS
OK "he =ing says soX. RLaughS
SK My way is the .ay of the Big Mac, ye&.
RBoth LaughS
OK niceI... R%ontinues laughingSX So I have this &#o+lem of not ta7ing what I want, an* also not *#o&&ing what I *o
not want R%huc7leS. ItUs li7e I *onUt ta7e what I want, +ut then something comes that I *onUt want an* I *onUt *#o& it.
LetUs say a gi#l *oes not Hualify o# somethingX
SK Because you feel guilty a+out hu#ting thei# feelings.
OK hmmmX Same thingX
SK :ightF
OK yes, I can see thatX
SK So you have to un*e#stan* the way hu#t feelings wo#7. A woman has a self image, an* it is a *isto#tion +ase* on
&#i*e, an* anything that fuc7s with he# self$imageX an* hu#ts he# &#i*e, ma7es he# have hu#t feelings Rwhiney
voiceSX A woman also has e>&ectations a+out the way things shoul* +e +etween a man an* a woman. Many of
those e>&ectations a#e fallacious, an* immatu#e, RLong 4auseS X .hen you violate those e>&ectations, it also
violates he# &#i*e, +ecause you notice that they a#e WmyV e>&ectations, an* ?my? #ules an* the way ?I? thin7 things
shoul* +e. So it is all +ase* on &#i*e. So it all comes +ac7 to the self imageX Hu#t feelingsX %ome f#om t#ying to
&#otectX that self imageX Anything that messes with that image, o# th#eatens itX A sense of hu#t feelings an*
vin*ictive hat#e* an* guilt an* all the, you 7now, all that lowe# stuff. So hu#t feelings is he# way of &laying the victim,
an* +laming youX fo# what he# ego is *oing to he#X Jou #eali/e that, she is +laming you fo# what he# ego has
*one to he#X An* she sec#etly LOOO18s itX .omen love to say to thei# gi#lf#ien*s, Wcan you +elieve that asshole
he was chec7ing out all the women, %an you +elieve that asshole, he coul*nUt even 7iss meX he was so shy an*
foolishX %an you +elieve that asshole he was +lah, +lah, +lah RSai* in a com&laining toneS.V "hey love to get
togethe# an* com&lain, an* com&lain, an* com&lain, an* you see that they a#e laughing while they a#e *oing itX
"hey a#e c#yingX they a#e *oing the human *#ama thingX an* they sec#etly LOO18 itX
So you want to so#t of give them that <iftX ,onUt thin7 of hu#t feelings as suffe#ingX "hin7 of it as a game &eo&le
a#e &layingX 8ve#y+o*y is &laying a game of suffe#ing. So what 7in* of things *o you want to *o that a#e going to
hu#t some feelings out the#eF
OK Something that came to min* is that, if I am not having fun, an* the gi#l is not cont#i+uting to the conve#sation, I
Bust want to leaveX RLaughsS
SK Jeah
OK ItUs Bust li7e, I want to leave, an* then you Bust sit the#eX you 7nowF
SK Jeah, what you *o is Bust sit the#e an* you cate# to he# wea7nessX So, +ecause you have sym&athy fo# he#,
simultaneously you want sym&athy f#om othe#sX So you have to loo7 into you# own inne# +a+y, you# own inne# c#y
+a+y that wants sym&athyXf#om the wo#l*, an* wants sym&athy f#om <o*X an* the Loo7ing at it will heal itX
:eali/e it is Bust *oing what it is *esigne* to *oX It is a chil*, an* a chil* is su&&ose* to whine an* as7 fo#
sym&athy f#om the wo#l* an* feel so##y fo# itself. So you ac7nowle*ge that &a#t of you#self *ee&ly, an* you let it
+eXAn* you loo7 at itX An* then itUs not so se#ious anymo#eX
OK JesX o7
SK So then you see the gi#l an* she is +o#ing, an* sheUs lifelessX an* you #eali/e she wants to +e +o#ing an*
lifeless, so you see she wants &eo&le to wal7 away f#om he#, so she gets to feel #eBecte*X
RLong 4auseS
An* then when she feels #eBecte*, she feels s&ecial an* uniHueX WBecause no+o*y un*e#stan*s me, No+o*y
un*e#stan*s me R.hiney voiceS,V WNo+o*y un*e#stan*s me, the g#eat misun*e#stoo* genius R4#i*e voiceSVX RHe#e
Ste&hane ma7es "he Soun* of "#um&ets whaling in t#ium&h f#om &#i*e an* s&ecialness with eve# #ising
c#escen*os, en*ing with a su&#eme clima>S WmeeeVX ,ee& *own they feel li7e Na&oleonX
OK Li7e A:::<<HII
SK Li7e no+o*y un*e#stan*s me, If only I coul* cont#ol the whole wo#l* an* get them to see my g#eatness R"he
voice tone of &#i*eSX So thatUs what is going on +ehin* hu#t feelingsX So let them have thei# illusionsX who a#e
you to ta7e away a chil*Us toysF... ,o you wal7 u& to +a+ies at the mall an* #i& the +in7y #ight out of thei# mouthX
noX so *onUt #i& away &eo&leUs illusions out of thei# hea*s, let them suc7 on that illusion as long as they nee* to
while they a#e g#owing u&X So you get u& an* you wal7 away f#om the gi#l, smiling, an* you &olitely e>cuse
you#selfX "hatUs itX ,onUt ma7e it mo#e com&licate*.
OK Al#ight, so I will ma7e su#e to *o thatXV8>cuse meXV RBoth laughSX So this is whe#e my ego got #eally ang#y,
+ecause I #emem+e# somewhe#e in the %#ac7ing the %o*e &#og#ams, you sai* it is not #ecommen*e* to *ate gi#ls
+elow you# level, +ecause they woul* feel +elow you an* feel stu&i*.
SK Jeah, you t#y to stic7 to the &eo&le within you# own floc7 of shee&.
OK I wante* to 7now how to conte>tuali/e this, since I see these gi#ls an* they a#e integ#ous, +ut then I am li7e, ahh
WyouU#e still stuc7 in thisX whateve# it isV I want to let it go.
SK .ell as long as she is integ#ous, you *onUt have to *ate the see7e# of enlightenment of the yea#X Cust wo##y
a+out +asic integ#ityX
OK <#eatI... "hatUs what I wante* to 7now Rchuc7lesS, ,oes she nee* to +e on a s&i#itual &athF R1oice tone
8>&#essing inne# conflictS
SK .ell ultimately you a#e going to get +o#e* of them unless they a#e on a s&i#itual &ath with you. .ell, you *o what
you can out the#e, +ut in the mean time an ine>&e#ience* guy has to get lai*. RLaughsS
OK "his is t#ue RLaughsS
SK "hey can +e Huite &leasant, those that a#enUt on a s&i#itual &ath, as long as you *onUt inte#fe#e an* t#y to ma7e
them get on a s&i#itual &athX
OK Jeah, I can *efinitely see how that coul* ha&&enX I mean you come into my #oom an* you see all these +oo7s,
+ecause thatUs all I ca#e a+out RlaughsSX
SK .hateve# you *o with <o* in min* an* in hea#t, ta7es you close# to <o*X As long as she is fun*amentally
honest, she *oesnUt 7now it +ut she has <o* in he# life, if sheUs fun*amentally honest. <o* gives us cou#age to
s&ea7 the t#uth.
OK O7, I see that. So the#e is this conflict insi*e an* may+e you can hel& me get to the #oot of it. Jou Bust sai* that
as long as she is integ#ous I *onUt have to +e too conce#ne* that they a#e going toX
SK .ell you also have to watch you# sola# &le>usX ,onUt get too involve* with themX ,onUt get too emotionally
*#aine* +y themX If you a#e seeing that the 5emotionalness5 is #eaching too high of a *eg#ee... it may +e +est to cut
he# loose. Jou have to get ove# this i*ea that #elationshi&s a#e a long te#m event. Some #elationshi&s only last 10
minutes, +ut they all se#ve youX
OK "hatUs goo*, +ecause I have +een seeing it as Bust long te#m, +ecause I li7e #elationshi&s.
SK No, noX ItUs nice to have someone who you can #eally count on, +ut in the mean time if you *onUt have a ce#tain
amount of e>&e#ience, youU#e not going to +e a+le to han*le my wife <#eta, o# someone li7e <#etaX If you *onUt
have the e>&e#ienceX I mean <#eta is a fuc7ing ti*al wave of womaness, she com&letely ove#whelms guysX "hey
Bust cannot han*le <#eta, +ecause she is so o&en, an* so Boyful, an* so X um, she says e>actly what is on he#
min*, the moment it comes u&X If she is unha&&y, youUll 7now itX An* a lot of &eo&le cannot han*le such
2#an7nessX So, to get a woman li7e that you a#e going to nee* a lot of e>&e#ience an* wis*om.
OK O7 so I am going to nee* to han*le some guilt in te#ms of that.
SK In te#ms of whatF
OK In te#ms of letting the gi#ls go, I always get stuc7 in the WI want to *o my +estV
SK .ell you have to see that you enBoy the guilt. Jou# <uilt is a +ig &lay in f#ont of <o*, t#ying to mani&ulate <o*, +y
showing him how much you suffe#e* fo# you# sin. "he#e is no sin, the#e is only intellectual stu&i*ity. So once you
see that you #eally enBoy guilt, then you will see this enBoyment of *#ama in othe#s, you will see that they enBoy it
too. "hey enBoy the &ain of the +#ea7 u&, they enBoy the c#ying an* whining at night an* canUt eat, canUt slee&X
"hey love it, you 7now thatX. ,oesnUt it soun* cynical at fi#st...F
OK uhh, *efinitelyX
SK "hey love it, they love it. W"hose stu&i* +asta#*sV Rmoc7inglyS, thatUs not #eally what it is, it soun*s li7e that at fi#st,
W"hose stu&i* +asta#*s,V +ut itUs not a 5mo#al su&e#io#ity5 t#i&X ItUs Bust a statement of fact once ,enial is #emove*X
4eo&le cling to thei# suffe#ing li7e a +a+y clings to can*y... othe#wise, &eo&le woul*n5t suffe#, if they *i*n5t sec#etly
love it. "he way out of human suffe#ing has +een 7nown fo# thousan*s of yea#s... Bu**ha #eveale* it... Cesus %h#ist
#eveale* it... =#ishna #eveale* it... Haw7ins #eveale* it... +ut who5s listening to those guysF Almost no+o*y listens
+ecause they love to suffe#, they love thei# na#cissistic ,enial of Love. If you *on5t *ee&ly *esi#e something, you
give it u&I
OK O7, yeah *enial, I actually have a conce#n with *enialX I *onUt 7now, IUve +een &#aying, me*itating, an* then I
still have this i*ea that I am stuc7 in &#i*eX ha ha haX IUm the shitX
SK Jou have to get ove# this i*ea that WI am stuc7 in &#i*e.V "he &#i*e is stuc7 in you. Jou a#e not stuc7 in it. ItUs
stuc7 in you. Jou a#e the owne# of the human &et. "he meat$&u&&et is stuc7 in you, the .itness.
OK So the #eason I +#ing it u& is +ecause, lately, itUs +een st#eamline*, I notice I have actually not +een ta7ing as
many chances. I mean a&&#oaching as many &eo&le as I woul* li7e, +ut thenX I *onUt have anything to ;en$
su##en*e# Rsee 1olume "wo of %#ac7ing the M$2 %o*eS fo# a while an* I Bust sit the#e, IUm ha&&y an* eve#ything is
fine, at least eve#ything seems fine. "hen the#e is this &a#anoia that comes in that says, Woh, you must +e *enying
something +ecause the#e a#e not any &#o+lems coming u&.V
SK 4#o+lems a#e also an illusionG in the infinite &e#fection of <o*Us c#eationG the only ?&#o+lems? e>ist within the
human min*X. 8ven animals *onUt see &#o+lemsX only humans see &#o+lems whe#e the#e a#e none. Jou have to
loo7 at the min* an* see how it is constantly f#aming things in te#ms of a &#o+lemX "his is a &#o+lem, that is a
&#o+lem, this is not &e#fect, that is im&e#fect. So it always *oes the o&&osite of t#uthfulness.
OK So the ego is saying Wyou have &#o+lems, an* that is also &#o+lemV. It seems that what the ego is saying,
+ecause I have nothing to ;en su##en*e# I have a &#o+lem. MJ ego is sma#t li7e that.
SK Jeah, it thin7s you shoul* +e ;en Su##en*e#ing 2(93X X no Rsai* gentlyS
OK "hatUs goo* to hea#X So I wante* toX to me love is the most im&o#tant thingX2o# meX
SK It isX
OK So I am inte#este* in #elationshi&s, +e it 10 minutes o# 10 yea#sX. But I fin* that itUs notX I see the gi#l, I want to
tal7 to he#, +ut then I *onUt tal7, I go *o what I was on going to *o anywaysX IUm Bust li7e, uhh, I want to *o this
actuallyX
SK .hyF
OK "hatUs what I want to 7now.
SK O7 so if I was you an* I nee*e* to have you# W&#o+lemV he#e, what woul* I &ictu#e in my hea* an* say to myself
wheneve# I hesitate to wal7 ove# to a gi#lF...
OK ummmX "he thought &#ocess is, letUs say I am #ushing to class, o# to &ay a +ill, yeah letUs says to &ay a +illX I
have to &ay a +ill, I am al#ea*y going the#e, I am wal7ing ve#y fast an*X
SK O7, I see what it isX Because ea#lie# you sai*, Love is the most im&o#tant thing to you, +ut it still isnUtX Su#vival,
an* fea#, an* min* a#e still mo#e im&o#tant to you. Jou loo7 at a gi#l an* you thin7 &aying a +ill is mo#e im&o#tantX.
Nothing is mo#e im&o#tant than loveX Jou sai* it you#selfX So live itX ,onUt +e li7e the #est of them slee&ing
humans.
RLong 4auseS
OK <oo*, I guess I was in *enial a+out thatX +eautifulX Rsigh of #eliefS
SK So you want to s&en* some time visuali/ing successful a&&#oaches. Howeve#, when you visuali/e them, you a#e
not allowe* to fantasi/e a+out what you woul* say that is so &e#fect an* cleve#. Jou visuali/e silent an* &e#fect
&ic7u&. In the movie you ma7e, you see what you woul* see th#ough you# eyes. Jou see that you a&&#oach the gi#l
an* she lights u&, an* now she is laughing hyste#ically, now she is sitting *own with you an* she is totally
enth#alle* +y the conve#sationX An* now she is c#ying tea#s of Boy, an* now you a#e home an* he# legs a#e u& in
the ai# an* you a#e ma7ing love, an* now you guys a#e snuggle* u& +y the fi#e &lace an* she is totally in love with
you, an* you with he#. So you *onUt 7now what you SAI, to get those things, +ut that is you# visuali/ation. Jou
want to *o this mo#ning, noon an* night. Sto& eve#y so often to #einfo#ce it. An* the t#ic7y &a#t is you have to count
on <o* to *o the tal7ing fo# you, th#ough you. So you a&&#oach the gi#l col*X an* you *onUt 7now what you a#e
going to say. "hat is the 7eyX
OK "hat is the fun &a#tX
SK Jou *onUt 7now what you say an* the whole thing has to +e s&ontaneous, othe#wise it is a #o+otic failu#e.
OK "hatUs goo*, that was going to go into my ne>t Huestion a+out, most of the time when I go col*, I Bust tal7 a+out
+o#ing Huestions that I *onUt #eally ca#e a+out. ItUs li7e I *onUt #eally ca#e a+out what class you a#e in, I *onUt #eally
ca#e a+out whe#e you a#e f#om, I *onUt #eally ca#e what school you a#e in. It *oesnUt #eally matte#, +ut I will Bust let it
ha&&en an* ho&efullyX I will sta#t tal7ing a+out what I #eally ca#e a+out.
In te#ms of tal7ing to &eo&le, sim&ly +e 7in*, consi*e#ate, com&assionate, an* loving at all times, no e>ce&tionX
thatUs enoughF
SK Je&, that will ta7e you all the way to enlightenment, yes.
OK So +eing 7in* at all times, I am loo7ing fo# some cla#ification. Because the#e a#e *iffe#ent conte>ts of +eing 7in*,
an* 7in*ness is not +eing a &ush ove#. =in* is +eing st#ong an* consi*e#ate an* I wante* toX I am going to tell an
e>am&le, +ut my #eal intention is to have you hel& me tal7 to the *iffe#ent levels of consciousnessX
SK "#ue 7in*ness is cou#age +alance* with consi*e#ationX So you have the +alls to say what you a#e thin7ingX
+ut you also have the sensitivity to intuit how much &eo&le can han*leXso you s&ea7 you# min*, +ut usually with
class.
OK an* I want to 7now how to communicate with &eo&le on thei# level of consciousnessG that is the consi*e#ate
thing +ecause that is whe#e they a#e. So how woul* you s&ea7 with someone who is in fea#, o# *esi#e, o# ange#F
SK I woul* avoi* themX +ecause they a#e non$integ#ousX an* that ma7es them *ange#ous, unless I am wo#7ing
with them in a &#ofessional setting, whe#e they a#e coming in fo# a healing of some 7in*. Jou *onUt want to hang out
with the non$integ#ous +ecause eve#ything they 7now is w#ong an* all they 7now is victimhoo*. No matte# what you
*o to them, they will fin* a way to twist it a#oun*, eventually they will twist it a#oun* an* ma7e it +ac7wa#*s. "he
way to avoi* the non$integ#ous is to not +e a suc7e# fo# flatte#y an* com&limentsX ItUs th#ough you# &#i*e that they
can get to you, that they can t#ic7 youX ,onUt +e a suc7e# fo# com&liments, fo# se*uction, fo# flatte#yX 7ee& a
watchful eye on those things.
OK O7, So, watch out fo# the &eo&le t#ying to +uil* u& &#i*e in meX
SK 8>actlyX ItUs li7e I woul* get an emailX WSte&hane, I have +een #ea*ing you# stuff fo# ( yea#s, an* I must say
you have a+solutely change* my life, you# w#itings a#e so awesomeX? an* umm, It always sta#ts with ( o# -
com&liments an* that is how they lu#e you in an* thenK
BAMIII X "hey give you thei# c#iticismX "hey t#y to change youX they t#y to get a *eal f#om you on you# &#o*uct,
o# t#y to gain sym&athyX So they always a&&#oach +y t#ying to *o a &lay on you# &#i*eX "hat is how the sna7e
tem&te* A*am an* 8ve in the <a#*en of 8*enX It &laye* u&on the innocence of thei# &#i*e. X
OK O7, I can see that, yeah, umm I 7now a few &eo&leX O7, so I guess if it a&&lies to #elationshi&s, this Huestion is
a+out f#ien*s now, so in #elationshi&s o# *ating as long as they a#e integ#ous we *onUt have to +e too conce#ne*.
"hen with f#ien*s as long as they a#e integ#ous we *onUt have to +e too conce#ne*.
SK As long as they a#e integ#ous you *onUt have to +e too conce#ne*, +ecauseX If you# integ#ous f#ien* steals
something f#om you, he is going to feel +a* a+out itX He is going to +#ing the +oo7 +ac7 RlaughS in the en*. Jou#
integ#ous f#ien*s a#e going to ma7e all 7in*s of human mista7es, +ut they feel +a* a+out it. So you can count on
them fo# that, +ut the non$integ#ous ones you have to 7ee& them out +ecauseX they a#e stu&i*, an* stu&i*ity is
*ange#ous. Stu&i*ity +#ings, ina*ve#tently all 7in*s of c#a& to you. Ne>t thing you 7now the &olice a#e at you# house,
whateve# the case may +e. Always, they a#e li7e wal7ing acci*entsX
Jou 7now one of the ca#toons I use* to watch as a 7i*, it was calle* the "asmanian *evil, eve#ywhe#e this guy went
s&inning an* he woul* Bust *est#oy eve#ything in his &athX "hat is a non$integ#ous &e#son. "hey a#e s&inning in
ci#clesG they a#e so confuse* an* so cont#a*icto#y insi*e an* theyX I use* to have one f#ien* an* to this *ay you
canUt hel& +ut love the guy even though he is non$integ#ousX +ut he woul*, Wuhh Ste&h can I have some foo*, I
havenUt eaten in 2 *aysV RStone# voice, +egga# toneSX "hen he woul* &iss on the toilet seat, then he woul* +#ea7 a
glass, then you woul* have to yell at him to *o the *ishes, then he coul*nUt hel& himself wheneve# I ha* gi#ls ove#
he woul* +e all ove# themX So itUs notX they Bust canUt hel& themselves, you love them +ut you canUt sym&athi/e,
you canUt cate# to wea7ness.
OK "hat is *efinitely something I nee* to #einfo#ceX ItUs t#ue I #emem+e# the Huote, WIt is o7 to let the non$integ#ous
+e non$integ#ousV
SK yeah, itUs o7 fo# them to +e non$integ#ousX Jou *o not have to *o anything to hel& themX when they want hel&
they will ac7nowle*ge that <o* is the sou#ce of thei# e>istence, an* thatUs thatX
OK <otcha, so in te#ms of the f#ien*s that I am actually #efe##ing to, I fin* thatX So I *o the +est I can to +e 7in* at
all times RlaughsS, an* o+viously my *isce#nment is not as g#eat as I woul* li7e it to +e, +ut ummX I fin* myself,
when I hang out with ce#tain &eo&le, some of these f#ien*sG I *o my +est to +e 7in*, +ut then IX AA:<HI Attac7
R"one of animal attac7ingS, +ut then WI am t#ying to +e 7in* he#eV Rinne# voiceSX "hen I am saying asshole things, I
am cu#sing them out, I am +eing #u*e, I am &laying this &ush &ull game, as7ing Huestions I *onUt #eally ca#e the
answe#s to, you 7now, ma7ing them *o things I can *o myselfX you 7now li7e a cont#olling, gameX .hich I *o not
want to *o, I want to +e 7in*. .ith ce#tain &eo&le I can +e 7in*, +ut with these g#ou& of f#ien*s, that is Bust the way
we have +een communicating RlaughS. I mean they communicate that way, I communicate that way.
SK oh you mean li7e umm, f#at +oy asshole attitu*e. Li7e ?hey mothe#fuc7e#, whatsu& you stu&i* +asta#*, ha I
fuc7e* you# mothe# last night.? Li7e that 7in* of stuffF
OK umm, not to that *eg#ee, +ut ve#y close to it, yeah
SK Li7e itUs un*e#stoo* that itUs a fun affectionate thing, noF
OK 8>actly
SK So *onUt loo7 at the su#face of it, loo7 at the essence of itX "he essence of it is coming f#om love is it notF
OK yeah weU#e ma7ing Bo7es RlaughsS
SK Oh, yeah, yeah, yeahX ?Jou ugly +asta#* Rimitating f#at humo#S, what the hell a#e you *oing ove# the#eX
*um+assI? No, no, noX Behin* it, the ene#gy +ehin* it is mo#e im&o#tant. Of cou#se as you guys matu#e, you a#e
going to get +o#e* with that stuff an* see a highe# way, +ut itUs not non$integ#ous to +e that way, no&e. "he wo#*s
a#e non$integ#ous, +ut itUs so#t of li7e you a#e ma7ing fun of non$integ#ity, togethe#.
OK yeah, I can *efinitely see that
SK As long as the#e is a smile in you# eyes, then itUs all goo*. Jou coul* tell a guy to fuc7 off, an* as long as you a#e
smiling with you# eyes then he un*e#stan*s what you #eally mean.
OK <oo*, I guess I was getting stuc7 on the content instea* of the conte>t.
SK Jeah thatUs 4u#itanism.
OK %oul* you give me some mo#e e>am&les of the content an* conte>t. Li7e, I always get stuc7 on what I am
saying an* say Woh, thatUs +a*XV I *onUt get stuc7 on the Bu*gment, +ut I *o not want toX
SK Loo7 at you# intention, always go +ac7 to you# intention.
OK "hatUs enoughF
SK "hat ta7es you to conte>t. Jou# intention shows you what conte>t you a#e hea*e* towa#*s. Heaven o# hell, o#
some half asse* lim+oX
OK So this is whe#eX o7, so the#e a#e two ty&es of a&&#oaches fo# meG I can a&&#oach gi#ls, I can tal7 to gi#ls, itUs
not #eally a +ig *eal +ut the#e is one whe#e I *onUt even 7now how I got the#eX WHey how a#e you letUs Bust hang
outV an* then the othe# one isXummX I am the#e, this is s&ontaneous, I *onUt 7now what is going on its Bust
wo#7ing outX An* the#e is the WI am tal7ing to you +ecause I tol* myself to tal7 to youV RlaughsS. Li7e, how to
*iffe#entiateF
SK Integ#ity will ma7e life easy fo# you, an* the non$integ#ous woman ma7es eve#ything too *ifficult.
So when you a&&#oach the gi#l, assuming you5#e not a com&lete Bac7ass, you notice when things go smoothly, you
a#e &#o+a+ly *ealing with integ#ity. Li7e yeste#*ay, we we#e going out to get some ice c#eamX an* the gi#l the#e
was smiling, an* we smile* +ac7 an* I sta#te* c#ac7ing Bo7es, an* she was +uc7ling ove# laughing an* you coul*
see he# att#action was th#ough the #oofX As we we#e eating the ice c#eam we we#e tal7ing a+out this, that, the
othe# thingX an* she says that ummX She wants to +e a tattoo a#tist, an* I was li7e ohX an* then she notices I
have a Ma#ilyn Mon#oe tattoo an* she sai*, WOh, well thatUs cheesyV. An* that hit me #ight in the sola# &le>us +ig
time, an* in the hea#t, an* that is +ecause they f#ea7 out +ig time in the &#esence of love. So they *o something to
th#ow a stic7 in the s&o7es of the wheel, they *o something to sa+otage it. "hey gene#ally a#e a &ain in the ass an*
ma7e life *ifficult. Notice who you feel goo* a#oun* natu#ally, those a#e the integ#ous &eo&le in the wo#l*X
Because you a#e ve#y o+viously integ#ous, so you g#avitate towa#*s that which ma7es you feel goo*, +ut when you
a#e confuse* an* you Huite *onUt 7now how to #ea* the guyX that is goo* of enough of a sign isnUt itF
OK It is nowI Jeah., I have +een &ushing it off to the si*e thin7ing it was me, Wyeah it must +e meV Rinne# voiceS
Rchuc7lesS, o7, thatUs goo*. So now wheneve# I tal7 to a gi#l, I will 7now when to say We>cuse meXV
O7 letUs see, Oh yeah this goes +ac7 to my intention. .hen I a&&#oach a gi#l, li7e o+viously it is s&ontaneous, +ut I
woul* still li7e to at least +e awa#e of my intention. R%huc7lesS SoX
SK Jou# intention is to get lai* an* fall in love, noF
OK 8>actly, e>actlyX RSai* in a su+tle 7nowing wayS R<#in on face as it is +eing sai*S, "hatUs whe#e it is, now this is
what I can say to you #ight now, +ut then that gets lost com&letely when the a&&#oach ha&&ens. ItUs li7e this is what
I #eally want, then I Bust waste time tal7ing to a gi#l a+out stuff I *onUt ca#e a+out.
SK 5%ause yeah, you &ussyfoot a#oun* an* you a#e ashame* ofX you# intention is to get lai* an* fall in love, an*
so youUve got to &ut that out the#e. If the gi#l we#e to sto& you in mi*$conve#sation an* we#e to as7, W.hat is you#
t#ue intentionFV Jou have to +e a+le to loo7 he# in the eyes an* say Wmy intention is to get lai*, an* &e#ha&s even
fall in loveX X +ut fi#st things fi#stIV
RBoth LaughS
So you5#e Bo7ing with he# a+out the human con*ition. It isn5t a se#ious thing, you seeF Jou *on5t nee* to i*entify
you#self with it. Jou# ego wants se>, an* you# S&i#it is Love. Have you# ca7e an* Love it too. <o* *oesn5t hate se>,
an* women ce#tainly *on5t hate se>.
OK I thin7 this Huestion was answe#e* &#io# to this, +utX So most of the time I s&en* &#aying fo# the en* of all &#i*e,
shame, *enial, ange#X +ut then the#e is this i*ea that it is the#e. ItUs li7e I have +een /en su##en*e#ing, +ut then it
*oesnUt come u& to +e su##en*e#e*.
SK Jou have to sto& i*entifying with it, thatUs all. 4#i*e is not going to go awayX you gotta Bust lea#n to watch it, an*
notice itX. An* a&&#eciate the +eauty of &#i*e. 4#i*e comes f#om the animal 7ing*om. .atch the animal channel
an* you5ll seeX If you want to see what &#i*e is, #ent one of those movies whe#e the animals go th#ough thei#
mating #itualsX watch how the animals *is&lay themselves to each othe#, an* see the +eauty an* the innocence
an* the cuteness of it. See how hila#ious it is, it5s hila#ious man, the#e a#e these +i#*s, I thin7 off the coast of
Aust#alia o# *own the#e somewhe#e in that *i#ection. Oh my <o*, the &oo# +asta#*s, the &oo# male +i#*s have to *o
this whole song an* *ance, an* they sit the#e an* com&ete with each othe#X ItUs almost li7e ta& *ancing, itUs
#i*iculous manI, I canUt even *esc#i+e it. Anyway, an* you see the woman +i#* Bust loo7s at them an* you see she
Bust tu#ns he# hea* away an* that means no, an* the +i#*s have to Bust wal7 away with thei# tails +etween thei#
legs. RLaughte#S
So thatUs &#i*e, an* you see &#i*e gets 7noc7e* *own with a no, itUs the en* of the wo#l*, an* it goes into shame.
So watch these animal movies fo# &#i*e. See how the animals com&ete with each othe# to show who is the +est,
st#ongest, most al&ha, most wo#thy of &ussy. .hen you see the +eauty in it, you see the +eauty in you# own inne#
&#i*e. It Bust wants to show off to get the gi#ls, thatUs all it wants, so let it, let it +e what it isX an* *onUt let it #un you,
thatUs allX an* while you a#e o+se#ving it, let <o* wo##y a+out *issolving it. Jou Bust have to +e li7e, in +etween the
ego an* <o*X so you a#e the Silent .itness, you seeF
OK Jes, so that is whe#e it is, I have +een i*entifying with all these thingsX
SK 4#i*e loves itself, it loves its lifeX?Loo7 at me, IUm so <#eat, Oh la la la laaaAAV R"he song an* *ance of 4#i*e,
singing voice toneS. 4#i*e is li7e a *ance, see it as a *ance. ,onUt see it as an ugliness, *onUt see it as a ho##i+le
evil sin. Of cou#se it lea*s &eo&le to thei# own *eath an* *est#uction. It lea*s them *own into g#ee*, an* shame,
an* *e&#ession, an* all the #est of it, ange#, guilt, wo##yX But not you, the .itness, you *onUt have to i*entify with
it. Jou Bust have to watch it, 7in* of li7e watching a cool movie. Jou 7now how you love watching movies with
c#iminals an* all the +a* &#i*eful guys #unning a#oun* 7illing each othe#. ItUs awesomeG itUs the same awesome
movie going on in you# hea*. So that will save you a lot of money on movie #entals.
OK "hatUs t#ue, I can see the <o*fathe# #ight nowX RLaughsS
SK :ight, "he <o*fathe#, the inne# go*fathe#, ye&.
OK So I have li7e a little +it of time, li7e a minute left. So I wante* to as7 a+out testoste#one +eing a manUs +iggest
&#o+lem. So I have +een &#imal sc#eaming a lot.
SK So you have +een howling at the moon RLou* HowlS
OK Being my own little "a#/anXSo I fin* the#e is this ange# that comes u& when I see something in te#ms of a
&ositionality. So you a#e tal7ing to you# f#ien*s an* they hol* onto this o&inion, an* they want to +e #ight, so I let
them +e #ight, +ut then I am thin7ing, W.he#e is this line whe#e I stan* fo# t#uthV an* you 7now you want to stan* fo#
t#uth, o# you Bust let them +e #ight +ecause it *oesnUt matte#. RBoth LaughS Li7e I want to 7now whe#e is this line. "he
"estoste#one is li7e WI want to stan* fo# t#uth,V +ut I also *onUt thin7 it matte#s.
SK .hat you say is you loo7 them in the eyes an* you say, WI un*e#stan* you# &oint of view, I howeve# *o not feel
the same way you *oX an* thatUs got to +e o7.V Jou say, Wan* thatUs got to +e o7.V
OK "hatUs goo*, most of the time I have Bust +een saying WJouU#e #ight.V
SK No, noX you say it in a ve#y matte# of fact way, an* you let them 7now with you# eyes. Say it e>actly the way I
say it with the same tone. Jou go WSi#, I un*e#stan* e>actly how you see it, I howeve# *o not see it the same way
you *o, an* thatUs got to +e o7.V An* you *onUt unloc7 eyes with them.
So... A#e you goo* to goF
OK "han7 you.
EE en* EE
"he homewo#7 fo# to*ay is sim&le. Let5s ta7e some time now to go ove# the *iffe#ence +etween 1isuali/e an*
2antasi/e.
.hen the ave#age man meets women +ut fails to ma7e things ha&&en with them, he ten*s to go home an*
2antasi/e all a+out them to ma7e u& fo# it an* #esto#e his illusion of 5self$esteem5. His fantasies a#e +ase* on
4#i*e9,enial @an* Lust, +ut let5s not even go the#eA. In his vain attem&t to #ecove# his 5self$esteem5, he s&en*s many
hou#s *evelo&ing ela+o#ate fantasies which a#e all +ase* on his &#oving to the woman that he is al&ha, wo#thy,
su&e#io#, sma#t, cleve#, loving, s&i#itually a*vance*, mo#ally su&e#io# to othe#s, an* much mo#e. He ta7es he# out on
imagina#y *ates, an* he sees himself saying all 7in*s of won*e#fully &e#fect things. Asi*e f#om attem&ting to
#esto#e &#i*e an* melt away his &ain, he is also &#acticing fo# his futu#e encounte#s with women. "hus, what he is
*oing isn5t all +a*, +ut it is Huite limiting an* often im&#isons him even *ee&e# into the house of mi##o#s +ecause the
&#ocess calle* 2antasi/e #einfo#ces 4#i*e9,enial.
It is im&o#tant to give u& the chil*ish fantasies an* #e&lace them with the &#ocess calle* 1isuali/e.
2antasi/e inclu*es wo#*s, sentences, tal7ingness, an* es&ecially &#i*e. On the othe# han*, 1isuali/e is a silent
&#actice. Silence is the 7ey. "he &#actice is sim&le, an* we can +#ea7 *ating *own into si> 7ey elementsK
1. "he initial a&&#oach. Sim&ly visuali/e the a&&#oach. "he 7ey to a&&#oaching a woman is to ga/e softly into he#
eyes while simultaneously +eing awa#e of the "otality of you# su##oun*ings an* you# +#eathingG #emain conscious of
you# &e#i&he#al vision an* +#eathing as +est you can. "his will eventually #esult in the *evelo&ment of an
emotionally calm, *etache*, loving state. So again, you a#e to sim&ly 1isuali/e the a&&#oach an* #ef#ain f#om all
tal7ingness. "he <ol*en :ule fo# 5/en$+ase* &ic7u&5 is to neve#, eve#, eve# t#y to thin7 a+out what5ll you5ll say to a
woman in a*vance. One must lea#n to t#ust %onsciousness to *o the wo#7 @an* not the intellect9min*9egoA.
Lea#ning to t#ust in %onsciousness is mo#e im&o#tant than anything else one can lea#n in all of life. O=. So,
visuali/e the initial a&&#oach an* see women #es&on*ing well to you. See them +eing 7in*, f#ien*ly, wa#m, an*
att#acte* to you. See women laughing at you# Bo7es an* +eing &ositively #es&onsive to you. See them falling in
love.
2. <etting he# seate* somewhe#e comfo#ta+ly. Sim&ly visuali/e you#self gestu#ing fo# he# to come sit *own with
you. Again, no inne# tal7ingness o# ve#+ali/e* #ehea#sing. In &ic7u&, once you notice the gi#l is #ece&tive to you, the
#ule of thum+ is to get he# seate*, instea* of Bust stan*ing in the mi**le of the &a#7ing lot. So, this visuali/ation is all
on a non$ve#+al level. See it all going smoothlyG you5#e succee*ing a*mi#a+ly even though you have no i*ea how
you5#e *oing so well with the woman. She li7es you, an* it is Huite o+vious. ,o not &ictu#e #eBection an* get into the
whole ?.hat ifF? game. .hat you hol* in min* ten*s to manifest in the #eal wo#l*, so hol* only success an* Love in
you# min* an* hea#t.
!. "he fi#st 7iss shoul* +e soft, gentle, an* not last mo#e than a few secon*s. 1isuali/e loo7ing at he# li&s, then he#
eyes, then he# li&s, an* see he# eyes *a#ting +ac7 an* fo#th f#om left to #ight. "his is what women *o when they5#e
#ea*y to +e 7isse* @in most casesA. Jou a#e to move in fo# that 7iss u+e# slooooowly. Cust tilt you# hea* @slightlyA,
ga/e u&on he# li&s an* *on5t sto& loo7ing at he# li&s... now move in ve#y slowly until you# li&s meet he#s. "he i*ea
of going in su&e# slowly has +een teste* on mo#e women than I can count, an* it is a uniHuely confi*ent a&&#oach.
%lassy women will a&&#eciate you# gentleness immensely. 1isuali/e this 7in* of 7iss ove# an* ove#, an* ma7e su#e
you# visuali/ations a#e sim&le an* successful. =iss he# fo# only a cou&le secon*s, then &ull +ac7 away an* #esume
loo7ing into he# eyes. Imagine you# face is tingling with &leasu#e, en*o#&hins, an* Love, as is he# face. "he tingles
a#e nice, an* a sign that things a#e going ve#y well. :emem+e# to also +e with you# &e#i&he#al vision an* +#eathingG
they a#e Bust as im&o#tant as any woman.
(. Moving the *ate fo#wa#*. 1isuali/e you#self ta7ing he# somewhe#e else, ve#y often you5ll want to ta7e them
somewhe#e to eat an*9o# *#in7. By changing scenes with he# an* going somewhe#e new, this c#eates a *ee&e#
feeling of 5closeness5 an* intimacy. She is so#t of +ecoming you# gi#lf#ien* now. So Bust visuali/e you#self getting u&
with he# a few secon*s afte# that fi#st 7iss, an* see he# as +eing #ece&tive an* ha&&y to go somewhe#e else with
you. Again, you *on5t 7now how you a#e so smooth with women, no# *o you 7now what you5#e saying.
-. )&on ente#ing a #estau#ant, I li7e to sto& an* as7 the woman whe#e she woul* li7e to sit. It seems to +e
somewhat im&o#tant to them, that they sit in the &e#fect s&ot. 1isuali/e he# selecting he# &e#fect s&ot, an* ma7e
su#e she gets the +est viewG *on5t sit in the ?goo*? s&ot, let he# have it. If you can, if it is socially a&&#o&#iate to *o
so, sit #ight ne>t to he#G *o not sit ac#oss f#om he#. So, visuali/e getting to the venue, seeing he# select the s&ot,
an* sitting *own with he#, ne>t to he#, intimately. See he# loving eve#y Buicy minute of this.
. Now comes the t#ic7y &a#t. <etting he# to +e*. "his is whe#e most guys a+solutely f#ee/e +ecause they feel guilty
fo# wanting se>, an* they wo##y a+out he# getting offen*e*. "he 7ey to ove#come guilt a+out wanting se> is to
t#anscen* lust. See 1olume 2ou# fo# an inc#e*i+le amount of wis*om on how to accom&lish Bust that EP
htt&K99www.i*eagasms.net9healing$&0#n$a ... hout$guilt 2o# to*ay, visuali/e you#self ta7ing he# home in ON8 ste&
an* only ON8 ste&. By that, I mean that you# min* will wish to com&licate eve#ything an* tu#n this one sim&le event
into a se#ies of innume#a+le an* com&le> tas7s. Instea* of Bust ?<oing home togethe#? it will want to thin7 a+out
how to as7 he# home with you, what to *o if she says no, what to *o if she says yes, how fa# away is you#
a&a#tment, how many stai#s you5ll have to wal7 u&, an* +asically it will attem&t to com&licate this most sim&le an*
natu#al event. Ma7e you# visuali/ation Huic7 an* sim&le. Cust ta7e he# home with you, o# go to he# &lace. @"he
whole visuali/ation shoul* last - o# ten secon*s, to&s.A
3. Now the even t#ic7ie# &a#t. <etting he# na7e*. "he 7ey to this visuali/ation is to imagine the woman is sooo hot
an* +othe#e* that she &#actically #a&es you. Jou5#e +a#ely in th#ough the f#ont *oo# an* al#ea*y she is un+uttoning
you# shi#t an* an* ma7ing out with you heavily. Cust &ic7 he# u& in you# a#ms an* get he# to +e* an* *on5t wo##y
a+out visuali/ing anything mo#e than this. Jou can &ictu#e a little se>, +ut *on5t get into a whole mastu#+ato#y
fantasy, which is chil*ish. "his is an e#otic visuali/ation, not a lust fantasy. Again, ma7e it a ten secon*
visuali/ation, an* #emem+e# the #ule of thum+K Be su#e to +alance &e#i&he#al vision an* awa#eness of you#
+#eathing along with you# awa#eness of the woman you a#e with. "his is so im&o#tant I coul* sc#eam, haha.
By #e&eating these Huic7 an* easy visuali/ations @eve#y now an* againA, you a#e essentially in a state of &#aye# o#
intention. "he#efo#e, it is also im&o#tant to hol* <o* as Love in you# min* an* hea#t, as this will a** un+elieva+le
4owe# to you# visuali/ations. Jou see, you a#e not #eally &#og#amming you# min*, you a#e healing it an* getting it
out of the way so that you can sta#t to #eally enBoy life an* live it to the fullest. .ith ea#nest since#ity, these sim&le
visuali/ations a#e mo#e &owe#ful than the naive stu*ent woul* li7ely #eali/e.
If you5#e one of these guys who a+solutely cannot a&&#oach women @yetA *ue to fea# an* shyness, *on5t wo##y
a+out it. 1isuali/e success *aily, let go of the a**iction to the 2antasi/e &#ocess, an* success will +egin to occu#
s&ontaneously an* automaticallyG when the a&&le is #i&e, it falls f#om the t#ee. Sim&ly #es&ect visuali/ation as
&#aye# an* it will #i&en you, &e#ha&s #athe# su#&#isingly.
3. "he )&&e# One 4e#cent Of Men
"o*ay we5#e going to lighten ou# focus a little an* *iscuss what you might call the ?u&&e# one &e#cent? of men in ou#
society. "hese a#e the men who ?get it? when it comes to *ealing with women. "hey have an uncanny a+ility to
?/one in? on the essence of a highly com&le> situation an* ?Bust 7now? @i.e., unconscious com&etenceA e>actly what
to say an* how to +ehave a#oun* women at all times, in all situations, always... .ell, may+e not always, +ut let5s
Bust say that in MOS" situations, they ?Bust 7now? what to *o. Some say they a#e +o#n with it. Some say they a#e
?natu#als.?
I5ve +een +o#n with the &#ivilege of +eing one of those guys, an* ove# the yea#s I5ve have t#ie* a thousan* *iffe#ent
ways of e>&laining an* teaching this &henomenon.
"he &#o+lem is that it cannot +e lea#ne* intellectually.
In fact, it is a talent which is fa# +eyon* the human intellect, an* lite#ally has nothing to *o with intelligence o# IO
level. @"his autho#5s IO is only 12.A Ove# the yea#s, I5ve *iscove#e* a most ama/ing thing a+out teaching this,
which is the ve#y #eal an* stunning fact of the matte#K
One5s intellect actually +ecomes im&e*iment that has to +e *isca#*e* in o#*e# to ma7e way fo# an inne#
=nowingness to s&#ing fo#th.
2o#tunately, this is sim&le to *o.
ON "8A%HIN< M8N HO. "O .OMANI;8
"#y to imagine fo# a moment that you5#e a teache# of some 7in* of su+Bect that you love an* a#e ve#y &assionate
a+out.
Jou5#e highly s7ille* at what you *o, an* &eo&le floc7 to you f#om all ove# the wo#l* to lea#n all a+out you# su+Bect.
2o# many yea#s, you teach an* teach an* teach... an* eventually come to a sta#tling *iscove#y, namely, that most
of you# stu*ents have not hea#* much of what you5ve sai*I
It is... *isconce#ting, to say the least. Jou can5t hel& +ut won*e#... you can5t hel& +ut to as7 you#self some &#etty
insecu#e Huestions such as, ?Am I an incom&etent teache#F A#e &eo&le stu&i*, a#e they all #eta#*sF? I have to
a*mit, such 5ugly5 Huestions have 7e&t me u& at night on mo#e nights than I ca#e to #emem+e#. It sometimes feels
li7e I am teaching what colo# means to a +lin* au*ience.
"his often #esulte* in f#ust#ation, &a#anoia, an* es&ecially #estlessness. I often felt useless, an* have *ay*#eame*
a+out Bust getting a #egula# Bo+ instea* of this one.
Ove# the yea#s, I5ve come to #eali/e that eve#ything I5ve +een sha#ing is then ?g#a++e*? +y the human intellect,
which &#ocee*s to sto#e the info#mation to memo#y, howeve#, the info#mation is sto#e* afte# the highly com&le>
&#ocesses of gene#ali/ation, *eletion, an* *isto#tion have occu##e*.
By the time thei# min* 5g#a+s onto5 the info#mation, it has +een Intellectuali/e*. It then +ecomes semi$wo#thless.
"he intellect is li7e a sHui##el sto#ing nuts away fo# the winte#. It woul* +e luc7y to fin* even a small &e#centage of
themG an* fo# the few nuts it *oes fin*, they a#en5t e>actly 5f#esh an* tasty5 anymo#e.
.OMANI;IN< $ "H8 8A:LJ ,AJS
I5ll neve# fo#get my ent#ance into high school. I 7new nothing a+out gi#ls othe# than the fact that I #eally, #eally
wante* them. I was shy, ne#vous, confuse*, an* highly insecu#e @Bust li7e eve#yone elseFA. 4e#ha&s ave#age an*
no#mal, an* #eally nothing s&ecial. I ha* a few f#ien*s, +ut +y all means, I wasn5t &o&ula#. I wasn5t ve#y intelligentG in
fact, I ha* a ha#* time following along in class an* my g#a*es we#e &oo#. My IO isn5t e>actly something I woul*
+#ag a+out.
"hen, one fateful afte#noon, a+out two wee7s into high school, the 5cool5 gi#l f#om my class sai* she nee*e* to tal7
to me a+out something. .e sat *own togethe#, an* she &ulle* out a sheet of &a&e# with a list of names on it. She
as7e*, ?.hat *o you thin7 of SusanF O# how a+out 1e#onicaF ,o you li7e 1e#onicaF OHI I 7nowI Jou &#o+a+ly
want Cessica... she5s the &#ettiest. O#, may+e you fancy So&hie instea*...F?
I ha* no i*ea what was going on. I sai*, ?.hat is this listF? an* I &ulle* the &a&e# out of he# han*. It ha* eve#y
name of eve#y gi#l in my class on it, &lus a few gi#ls f#om othe# classes. "he 5cool5 gi#l &#ocee*e* to e>&lain to me
that they ha* all gotten togethe# an* *eci*e* that the only ?fai#? way to han*le my &#esence woul* +e fo# me to
select which one I wante* to *ate. Othe#wise, they woul* en* u& com&eting with each othe# ove# me. So, they ha*
electe* this one gi#l to see7 me out an* to as7 me which of the gi#ls I woul* choose.
I was a+solutely stunne*, to say the least. I neve# sus&ecte* any of this. My shyness an* insecu#ity ha* +lin*e* me
an* *ulle* my senses. Ove# the ne>t few yea#s, I &#ocee*e* to *ate almost eve#y cute gi#l in my high school @as
well as a few gi#ls f#om othe# high schools, once the well ha* #un *#yA. 8ve#y wee7 o# two, I ha* a new gi#l, an* a
new gi#l, an* then anothe# new gi#l. An*, &e#ha&s #athe# astonishingly, I *i* a+solutely nothing to ma7e any of it
ha&&en. "hey all came to me, they all chose me. I *on5t #ecall as7ing any of them out. "hey woul* Bust show u& in
5gi#l$&ac7s5 an* say, ?Ou# f#ien* Michelle thin7s you5#e cute, *o you li7e he#F? an* if I foun* he# &#etty enough, I5*
say yes. If not, I woul* loo7 ove# the gi#ls who we#e as7ing me a+out thei# f#ien* an* say, ?How a+out you
instea*F?, o# I5* say, ?,o you 7now that gi#l, ove# the#eF I5ve ha* my eye on that one. She seems nice.?
It was li7e living in a *#eam wo#l*, +ut to +e fai#, I ha* no clue what to *o with these gi#ls once they +ecame my
gi#lf#ien*. I hesitate*, I coul*n5t escalate, an* I woul* often agoni/e at night ove# the fact that I was so stu&i*.
It was li7e having access to a +illion *olla#s, yet +eing too stu&i* to 7now 5how5 to s&en* the money. But, it *i*n5t
matte#G when a gi#l wants you, she5ll ma7e it ha&&en. If you5#e too ?chic7en$shit? to close the *eal, she5ll often Bust
close it fo# you.
By the time high school en*e*, I &ossi+ly *ate* close to 30 gi#ls an* of those seventy, &e#ha&s I sle&t with a+out !-
of them. An* I5ve #ea* somewhe#e that the ave#age man will not even slee& with seven women in his enti#e lifetime.
Jet he#e I was, enBoying +eing the ?u&&e# one &e#cent guy?, an* I ha* neve# even a&&#oache* a gi#l, no# *i* I 7now
how, no# when, to escalate things to a &hysical level. Most of the 7issing o# se> that went on was initiate* +y the
gi#ls an* not +y me. I even ha* th#eesomesI 2o# %h#issa7e, one time I got #eally *#un7 an* fell aslee& at a &a#ty,
an* when I wo7e u&, five gi#ls we#e molesting me. Anothe# time I was sitting in the +ac7 of the yellow school +us as
one gi#l went *own on me while I ha* a casual conve#sation with the two gi#ls in f#ont of me, who we#e watching.
An* these a#e Bust a few selections f#om my memo#y +an7G the#e must +e 100M mo#e ?c#a/y sto#ies? I have
fo#gotten a+out.
"he Huestion +ecomes, .hy *i* I get so much high Huality &ussyF I was fa# f#om +eing a ?&ic7u& a#tist? o# even
+eing a ?smooth? communicato# with women, an* I s&ent most of my f#ee time agoni/ing ove# my utte# stu&i*ity
#ega#*ing escalationI Although many gi#ls ha&&ily too7 ove# the escalation &#ocess fo# me, many *i* not, an* it was
the es&ecially go#geous ?*#eam gi#l? o# ?ten? ty&es who often *i* not. I witnesse* a ton of ?gol*$&late* &ussy? sli&
th#ough my finge#s in those ea#ly yea#s, in*ee*. If you coul* see a vi*eo of how stu&i* I was, you woul* &#o+a+ly
want to +eat the shit out of me. I mean, I was *um+.
I Bust coul*n5t escalateII <#######.
.hile I am ce#tain you *on5t e>actly feel so##y fo# me, you5#e &#o+a+ly won*e#ing what was the %#itical 2acto# in my
+eing a+le to o+tain so much &ositive attention an* affection f#om so many cute$young females.
.hat5s the sec#etF
.hat I5m a+out to sha#e, I have neve# sha#e* with anyone until this ve#y moment. Not +ecause I5m g#ee*y, +ut
+ecause it too7 me this long to finally un*e#stan* what was going on in those *ays. It too7 yea#s of me*itation,
contem&lation, an* *ee& s&i#itual stu*y to get to this g#eat ?AhaI? moment.
Befo#e I tell you what the ?sec#et? is, I nee* to e>&lain something to you, +#iefly. "he #eal #eason I have +een so
successful ove# the yea#s is +ecause I Love women. Most men *o not t#uly love women, an* as we5ve seen, only
(D of humanity eve# even gets to taste t#ue S&i#itual Love. "hat is the essence which is at the hea#t of the matte#. I
came into this wo#l* with a Love fo# women that is t#uly +eyon* what the wo#l* calls ?love.? But, this isn5t what I
want to tal7 a+out #ight now.
I want to sha#e the %#itical 2acto# that will allow you, to achieve the state of S&i#itual Love E &e#ha&s even
)ncon*itional Love, which is only e>&e#ience* in 0.(D of human7in* E so that you can #es&onsi+ly enBoy the a#t of
.omani/ing. As I mentione* ea#lie#, I have +een teaching this fo# a ve#y long time, only to fin* that men
Intellectuali/e the teachings an* the#efo#e utte#ly *est#oy thei# value. Once a thing has +een Intellectuali/e*, it
woul* se#ve a com&ute# +ut not a flesh$an*$+loo* woman.
,ivine Stu&i*ity.
"hat5s the %#itical 2acto# that se#ve* me so well ove# the yea#s.
I was Stu&i*ly ,ivine, an* ,ivinely Stu&i*.
"he#e is #egula# stu&i*ity, an* then the#e is ,ivine Stu&i*ity. "he #egula# stu&i*ity only gets a small 5s5, +ut the state
of ,ivine Stu&i*ity gets a ca&itol 5S5 +ecause it is a S&i#ituali/e* state of Being. "he #egula# stu&i*ity is what
cha#acte#i/es most men, an* Stu&i*ity is what cha#acte#i/es that ?#a#e man? which Bust a+out eve#y woman woul*
gla*ly slee& with. "#uth is, in human life, the#e is a time fo# +eing stu&i*, an* a time fo# +eing Stu&i*. On the Bo+, in
school, an* in 5wo#l*ly5 affai#s, it may +e +est to +e stu&i*. But with womenF One must +e willing to +ecome Stu&i*,
t#uly.
"he less 7nowle*ge you have, the +ette#.
"he homewo#7 fo# to*ay is, once again, ve#y sim&le... yet it will #eHui#e the willingness to let go of 4#i*e. In this
case, Intellectual 4#i*e.
"he ego9min*9intellect is +ase* on mentali/e* o&inions. An*, o&inions a#e inhe#ently wo#thless. Some o&inions can
+e useful, +ut only u& to a &oint.
As o&inions a#e let go of, a silent inne# =nowingness ta7es thei# &lace. It is the fiel* of consciousness. It *oesn5t
nee* o&inions o# thin7ingness +ecause it al#ea*y =nows All "hat Is +y vi#tue of Being All "hat Is.
"he &ath of 8nlightenment is the &#ocess of un7nowingG it is a sim&le &#ocess whe#e+y one sim&ly let5s go of
+eliefs, o&inions, o# the &#ocess calle* 5Mentali/e5.
4:A%"I%)M
S&en* the *ay gently, calmly, an* &atiently #emin*ing you#self that it is not necessa#y to have an o&inion a+out
anything. "his is what thin7ing +oils *own toG o&inionsI
All of the tal7ingness is unnecessa#y. It is a +u#*en an* a g#eat hin*#ance. It is the #eason we nee* to slee&G the
min* g#ows ti#e* f#om the constant tal7ingness.
<8N"L8, =IN,, %OM4ASSIONA"8 4A"I8N%8
It ta7es time an* &atience to let this go. It is a *ee&ly ing#aine* a**iction. Be su#e to +e ve#y 7in* to you# ego9selfG it
is Bust *oing what it thin7s it is 5su&&ose*5 to +e *oing, +y tal7ing all *ay L all night L *#iving you c#a/y.
4e#io*ically to*ay, sto& an* as7 you#self, ?.hat woul* it feel li7e if the inne# voices we#e to sto& tal7ingF?
Imagine how &eaceful life woul* +e if the#e wasn5t a voice in you# hea* all the time ma7ing useless commenta#y.
@"he #esulting states a#e actually even +ette# than one can imagine.A But, it *oes ta7e time an* &atienceG in fact,
&atience s&ee*s u& the min*$silencing &#ocess.
Im&atience c#eates mo#e noiseG &atience c#eates Silence.
"he#efo#e, *on5t tell you# ego9self to ?sto& tal7ing? o# to ?shut u&I?, +ut instea*, &ause eve#y now an* again to sim&ly
imagine what it woul* feel li7e if those voices we#e to sta#t getting Huiete#... an*... may+e even... Silent.
Cust &ause an* imagine, ?.hat if the voices we#e silentF?
By hol*ing this in min* eve#y so often th#oughout the *ay, it will then +egin to ha&&en s&ontaneously of its own.
.hat you hol* in min* ten*s to manifest, so hol* in min* that the chatte#9noise9st#ess9tal7ingness9commenta#y is
falling silent an* it will, in *ue time. It will go Huiete#... an* Huiete#... an* Huiete#... an* eventually, Silence.
<lo#ious SilenceI
"his is a su#&#isingly &owe#ful &#actice an* it will get you #ea*y fo# tomo##ows lesson.
'. Stu&i*ity with a small 5s5
)gh.
I #ecently *i* a &hone consultation with what I consi*e# to +e the a+solute wo#st ty&e of male ?Bac7ass? in
8>istence.
I can *eal with the 2$yea#$ol* vi#gins @yet I *on5t &a#ticula#ly enBoy them eithe#A an* I can *eal with the 5ho&eless
#omantics5 who thin7 they a#e 5in love5 with a woman @+ut a#e actually Bust 5in love5 with themselvesA.
Jes, Si#.
No &#o+lem.
I can even *eal with the guy who Bust +eat his gi#lf#ien* to a &ul& an* is sitting in a &#ison cell agoni/ing with guilt. I
can *eal with Bust a+out eve#y ?ty&e? the#e is, +ut it is the es&ecially 4#i*eful man that I can *o without.
.hen that 7in* of guy calls me u&, I can5t hel& it. I5m still Bust human. I want the call to en* soon.
)<HI
It isn5t that I ?hate? the guyG fa# f#om it.
It is sim&ly that he is unteacha+le. I 7now he is wasting my time as well as his own time. Since he Bust &ai* me
money fo# a consultation, I5ll have to Bust sit the#e, &olitely. Oh well. On such a call, I use the o&&o#tunity fo#
#elinHuishing my own &#i*e$#esi*uals, as well as fo# *evelo&ing a state of *ee& me*itation. Sometimes, the ve#y
+est thing you can *o fo# someone is to allow them to ?+e what they a#e? an* *evelo& a state of witness$+liss within
you#self.
4a#a*o>ically, Silence is often the +est teache#I
"he 4#i*eful man is Huite &o&ula# with the la*ies E fo# a little while. He is often much +ette# loo7ing than we a#e,
ma7es mo#e money than we *o, an* is gene#ally ve#y successful, easily met, cha#ming, an* conveys a lot of the
initial ?al&ha? Hualities that women go fo#. Although he is 4#i*eful, his &#i*e conveys a ce#tain amount of ?&uffe* u&?
confi*ence an* an au#a some women often fin* se>y E fo# a little while.
,A"IN< IS ON8 "HIN<G :8LA"IONSHI4S A:8 O)I"8 ANO"H8:
.hen this 7in* of man gets into a #elationshi&, initially the woman falls in love with him an* tells all of he# f#ien*s
that she5s finally foun* a :eal ManG she5s foun* ?the one?, the &#ince cha#ming, the confi*ent guy who has his life
togethe# an* can ta7e ca#e of he#, &#otect he#, &#ovi*e fo# he#, an* stan* u& to the wo#l* fo# he#. 2o# a little while,
anywayI
)n+e7nown to he#, in a month o# two she will +egin to go c#a/y an* not #eally 7now why.
She will even +ehave li7e a 5+itch5, an* gene#ally not 7now why...
He# man is &e#fect, afte# all, an* yet she +egins to fin* him *isgusting an* #e&ulsive.
He# se> *#ive soon fa*es, an* the#e a#e even times when she woul* actually li7e to mu#*e# this man. "hus, she
wo##ies that she is the one with the &#o+lem, an* feels mo#e an* mo#e guilty fo# he# 5+itchiness5 as thei# #elationshi&
&#og#esses.
He# thoughts *#ive he# insane. She sta#ts wanting to +e with othe# men an* has fantasies a+out them. She +egins
to s&en* mo#e an* mo#e time with he# gi#lf#ien*s again. She watches an a+no#mal amount of television. Insi*e, she
is *ying, as he# ave#sion to this 4#i*eful man g#ows st#onge# each *ay.
"he man *oesn5t un*e#stan* what is ha&&ening to thei# #elationshi&. He feels she is &ulling away f#om him. She is
*istant, aloof, an* g#owing col*e# each *ay. She *oesn5t laugh at his Bo7es anymo#e the way she use* to. .hat
little se> they still have is *ull, flat, an* has lost the 5e#otic s&a#75 it use* to have.
He, of cou#se, *oesn5t acce&t this so#t of +ehavio# an* wants to tal7 a+out it.
He wants to ?solve &#o+lems?, an* who can +lame the guyF
In the 5#eal wo#l*5, this man can ?solve? Bust a+out eve#y ?&#o+lem? you give him, +ut in the +e*#oom, in the
#elationshi&, a *iffe#ent &a#a*igm of #eality is #eHui#e*, +ut he *oesn5t 7now this. So, he t#ies eve#y logical a&&#oach
he can thin7 of. He tal7s to he#, as7s he# what is going on, as7s he# to sha#e he# feelings, an* he even #ea*s +oo7s
a+out #elationshi&s an* stu*ies the hell out of my we+site an* +uys all of my &#o*ucts. He #eally wants to ?fi>? that
?non$integ#ous? woman of his. At least he assumes that she is the one who5s non$integ#ous. Afte# all, she5s fla7y
an* *own#ight emotionally #eta#*e*, #ightF
%onvince* that his #elationshi& ?&#o+lems? a#e ?out the#e? #athe# than ?in he#e?, he slowly tu#ns into he# *a**y. He
tells he# what to *o, he lectu#es he# on how she ?shoul*? +eG he engages he# in long, *#awn out, ove#night
?*iscussions? an* t#ies his ve#y *amn +est to ma7e things #ight again. He is fa# f#om an ?evil? man, an* afte# all, he
?loves? his woman, o# he thin7s he loves he# anyway.
In :eality, he still *oesn5t 7now what Love is.
He 7nows only infatuation an* att#action.
If he 7new what Love was, he woul*n5t nee* to call me to fin* out if his woman is integ#ous o# not. Integ#ity an*
Love a#e one an* the same thing. "hus, if he 7new Love, he woul* +e a+le to *etect the a+sence of Love. "he
infinite fiel* of consciousness is innately ca&a+le of automatically cont#asting the *iffe#ence +etween Love an* its
a+sence, o# Love vs. non$love.
"he na#cissistic &#i*efulness of this man is li7e an im&enet#a+le wall of steel. He has +een a+le to count on his
intellect to get him this fa#, an* he +lin*ly assumes that his intellect will +e a+le to ?solve? his so$calle* ?&#o+lems?
with #es&ect to his #elationshi& with the woman he loves. It is #athe# easy to tell when this 7in* of man calls me u&
fo# hel& +ecause he *oesn5t actually want hel&, +ut wants to show me that he5s #eally on my level of consciousness,
+ut is only missing one o# two ?little things?, one o# two intellectual &ieces of info#mation that I can ho&efully &oint
out to him an* he will +e on his way.
If I can manage this im&ossi+le feat, he woul* than7 me since#ely an* &#ocee* to go ?fi>? his woman5s hea*.
"he 4#i*eful man, a+ove all else, wants me to ac7nowle*ge his intellectual &#owess. He wants me to 7now that I
#eally have nothing to teach him. "hat is, the unconscious #eason he has &ai* money to tal7 to me is so that I can
vali*ate that he is 5#ight5 an* she is 5w#ong5. An*, he wants me to 7now that he 7new this all alongI He wants me to
un*e#stan* that he is not ?+elow? me in any way. It is su&#emely im&o#tant that I un*e#stan* E su+tly E that he an* I
a#e eHuals. If I can manage to convey that I +elieve we5#e eHuals, only then will he even +egin to hea# what I have
to say.
)gh.
Ove# the yea#s I have lea#ne* @the ha#* way, +elieve meA that the +est way to *eal with such a man is to Bust give
him what he wants. Cust allow him to 5+e what he is5, an* *on5t inte#fe#e with him too much. "#y a few things he#e
an* the#e, +ut if his 4#i*e is as ha#*$as$steel, Bust leave it alone. "he #eason fo# this is sim&le. If the 4#i*eful man
shoul* eve# have his 4#i*e f#ust#ate* o# un*e#mine* in some way, if his 4#i*e is +#ought into Huestion, he coul*
#etaliate in some ve#y unfo#tunate ways.
B8 %A:82)L .I"H "H8 4:I,82)L H)MAN
A state of 4#i*e which is +eing challenge* o# feels th#eatene* easily tu#ns to ange#$#ageG they can +ecome
malicious, s&iteful, an* see7 #evenge.
"he ve#y co#e of what I sha#e has to *o with #ecogni/ing, an* #elinHuishing, 4#i*e. I am the#efo#e not the +#ightest
manG one might thin7 I enBoy having enemies an* +eing hate* fo# a living... So, you lea#n whe#e an* when it is
a&&#o&#iate @an* safeA to assist a man in ove#coming his 4#i*efulness.
In most cases, I have to #ef#ain myself an* the stu*ent lea#ns nothing. Jou *o what you can fo# &eo&le, +ut when
the#e is too much #esistance, you +ette# +e ca#eful in this wo#l*. "han7fully, I teach an* s&ea7 ove# the Inte#net at a
safe *istanceI
4:I,8 IN <8N8:AL SO%I8"J
Society +elieves ?&#i*e is goo*? an* gene#ally &laces g#eat faith in the intellect, in e*ucation.
Logical #easoning is the 5go*5 of mo*e#n man. "he#efo#e, mo*e#n man is *estine* to fail with women +ecause
women gene#ally *on5t ca#e much a+out man5s intellect. "he intellect is not what will wa#m he# hea#t, no# will it
ma7e love to he#. 8ven the integ#ous intellectual man is *oome* to fail in the a#t of .omani/ing +ecause the
intellect is the w#ong tool fo# the Bo+. .hat5s nee*e* is actually Bust ,ivine Stu&i*ity.
,ivine Stu&i*ity is usually the ve#y last &lace man loo7s to when it comes to his success with .omani/ing.
4e#ha&s instinctively, men want to show women how sma#t, cleve#, intelligent, ca&a+le, savvy, an* intellectually
so&histicate* they a#e.
"o ma7e things even mo#e *ifficult on mo*e#n men, women a#e often ve#y since#ely im&#esse* +y a man5s ca&acity
fo# intellection, &#o+lem$solving, an* the gene#al #esou#cefulness of what society *eems ?al&ha.?
S)%%8SS IS ,AN<8:O)S
=nowle*ge is *ange#ous.
I can #ecall a com&ute# class I once atten*e*, an* one of ou# classmates was the Huintessential ne#*. Jet, to ou#
astonishment, a go#geous Asian woman showe* u& at ou# school one *ay an* ama/ingly, she was his gi#lf#ien*.
@I5m telling you, to this *ay I have not seen a mo#e +eautiful Asian woman, an* as eve#y healthy man has
*iscove#e*, the#e a#e &lenty of stunning Asian women in the wo#l*.A
A woman can initially fall in love with an intellectual man, +ut he will soon *#ive he# c#a/y. She won5t stay in love
with him fo# ve#y long. Mo#eove#, she won5t 7now why she lost he# feelings fo# him an* will li7ely &#ocee* to feel
inc#e*i+ly guilty fo# he# conco#*ant e##atic an* neu#otic +ehavio#.
Many women thin7 they5#e 5+#o7en5 somehow +ecause even the g#eatest of men *o not ma7e them ha&&y. An*,
society *oesn5t 7now what to *o a+out this. Society +lin*ly confuses Love with infatuation9att#action9*esi#e @which
a#e often *oome* to fa*e as time goes onA. In :eality, howeve#, Love neve# fa*es, an* when Love is &#esent,
att#action neve# fa*es eithe#I Love maintains att#action, fo#eve#. "hat is an in*is&uta+le S&i#itual fact.
,I1IN8 S")4I,I"J $ A S"O:J
I5ve only once met a guy who un*e#stoo* E at least, unconsciously E that ,ivine Stu&i*ity is the Highest .ay to
succee* with women.
I use* to &lay &ool with him many yea#s ago, an* this guy was so goo* with a &ool cue that he woul* sen* guys
home &enniless an* c#ying. He coul* actually &lay you left$han*e* an* still ta7e you# moneyI "he guy un*e#stoo*
%onsciousness. He un*e#stoo* how to get his min* out of the way an* allow <o* to &lay the game fo# him.
He also un*e#stoo* how to get his intellectual min* out of the way an* allow <o* to .omani/e fo# him. My <o*
was he eve# goo* with womenI
"his guy un*e#stoo* ,ivine Stu&i*ity li7e you woul*n5t +elieve. He was the 7in* of guy that woul* Bust sit the#e,
loo7ing Stu&i*, an* always ha* gi#ls coming u& to him fo# no #eason at all. Cust li7e I was in high schoolG they
offe#e* themselves u& fo# no clea# #easons the intellectual min* of man coul* eve# ho&e to *etect, let alone co&y o#
mimic.
"his guy was so ,um+ @on the su#faceA that one of ou# &ool +u**ies use* to call him %hic7en 8ye. @"hat is, if you
loo7e* into his eyes, you5* see the intelligence of a chic7en.A
Jet, he coul* have any gi#l an* he coul* +eat anyone in the game of &ool, which E in case you *on5t 7now the
game of +illia#*s E is an e>t#emely com&le> game that +affles even the most intellectually e#u*ite min*s.
"his guy was so goo* at .omani/ing, at &ool, an* at life itself you5* thin7 he was cheating somehowI
Most guys sec#etly envie* an* hate* him, +oth fo# his a+ility to +e* women, an* fo# his talent in 6$+all &ool. .e
+ecame li7e soul +#othe#s, he an* I, often going on the #oa* togethe#, an* fo# a while, we we#e even #oommates.
Ove# the cou#se of a+out one an* a half yea#s, all we *i* was &lay &ool an* fuc7 tons of women. .e ha* no Bo+
an* nothing else on ou# min*s. Cust &ool an* gi#ls, man. It was g#eat.
At one &oint, it was so #i*iculous that I can #emem+e# having si> gi#lf#ien*s. "hat is, one fo# eve#y night of the wee7
e>ce&t Satu#*ays. "hat night was ?off$limits? +ecause it was the ve#y +est night fo# sco#ing new &ussy. If that
we#en5t +a* enough, eve#y one of the si> gi#ls I was *ating 7new a+out the othe#s, an* some we#e even f#ien*s @at
least on a level whe#e they5* tal7 to each othe# an* +e f#ien*lyA.
Although &laying &ool was ha#*ly a luc#ative living +y any st#etch of the imagination, it ma*e us enough money to
&ay the #ent. .hen it came to eating foo*... well, the gi#ls we#e mo#e than ha&&y to &#ovi*e @an* a cou&le of them
we#e e>cellent coo7sA.
Now, I have matu#e* since then an* ce#tainly *on5t a*vise that men womani/e in such an i##es&onsi+le manne#, +ut
the#e we#e in*ee* some c#itical lessons lea#ne* I want to sha#e.
Most guys will neve# *iscove# the inc#e*i+le f#uits of ,ivine Stu&i*ity, no# woul* they even +elieve my &e#sonal love
life coul* have +een &ossi+le. "he#e have +een times when I even live* with u& to th#ee women, Bust as the#e have
+een times when I5* wa7e u& ne>t to fou# o# five na7e* +o*ies. All +ecause of ,ivine Stu&i*ity, which is not
*iffe#ent f#om S&i#itual LoveG they a#e one an* the same thingI
S4I:I")ALI"J M8ANS ALLN8SS
,ivine Stu&i*ity an* S&i#itual Love an* Integ#ity an* Humility a#e all one an* the same thing.
"he highe# the *eg#ee of one5s Humility, the g#eate# will +e one5s 5access5 to a woman5s hea#t.
It is that sim&le.
Only the e>t#emely hum+le 7now how to .omani/e, an* I5m not Bust tal7ing a+out o+taining se> +ut a+out long
te#m #elationshi&s an* even ma##iage.
It too7 yea#s of intensely *evote* s&i#itual see7ing to finally un*e#stan* what was going on in those ?wil* *ays? an*
why things we#e sooo easy an* automatic with women an* *ating.
It all +oils *own to ,ivine Stu&i*ity.
"H8 MIN, 8N"AILS S)228:IN<
Loo7ing +ac7, life was not all flowe#s, fine wines, an* &ussy. "his lifetime was also inc#e*i+ly fuc7ing *ifficult at
times. Although I was a natu#al in the a#t of .omani/ing *ue to an unconscious com&etence in ,ivine Stu&i*ity, my
own intellect often 5snuc7 u&5 on me an* a+solutely 7ic7e* my ass.
It *est#oye* many goo* #elationshi&s an* c#eate* st#ess of unimagina+le &#o&o#tions.
"he animal +#ain, the ego, the intellect... it fights to su#vive, at times, an* the fight can +e ve#y su+Bectively &ainful,
hellish, agoni/ing. I *i*n5t have access to the 7in* of s&i#itual wis*om I have access to to*ay, an* so the S&i#itual
Love, the ,ivine Stu&i*ity often came an* went, on an* off... ve#y much li7e a flic7e#ing lam& that isn5t &lugge* in
&#o&e#ly.
S&i#itual Love is an a+solutely sta+le con*ition than one can *e&en* on a+solutely, howeve#, when the intellectual
min* t#ies to ta7e ove#, if one is not fully awa#e of what5s ha&&ening, one Huic7ly *iscove#s the t#uth a+out heaven
an* hellG namely, that they a#e less of a tenth of an inch a&a#t, as they say in ;en.
HOM8.O:=
"he su&#emely e#u*ite homewo#7 fo# to*ay is to s&en* time &#eten*ing you5#e a stu&i* i*iot who 7nows a+solutely
nothing.
Become 5+#ain$*ea*5, if you will.
Most &eo&le t#y to convey humility on the su#face, +ut I5m as7ing you to go much *ee&e# than the ave#age man
woul* +e willing to go. 4lay *um+ to*ay. 4#eten* you# memo#y was e#ase* an* you now have nothing to offe#
5woman an* wo#l*5 othe# than you# 4#esence. "his &#actice will come in han*y fo# tomo##ows lesson, so &lease *o
the +est you can.
Jou5ll have to give me at least a little +it of you# t#ust on this one.
I5m not as7ing you to go to +e* o# len* me money, , I5m as7ing you to &#actice something #eally sim&le in the he#e
an* now. 4#eten* you *on5t 7now anything, an* have fun with it.
,iscove# f#ee*om f#om the intellect an* the#efo#e f#ee*om f#om suffe#ing.
,#o& you# sto#ehouse of 7nowle*ge an* *iscove# the Silent =nowingness. I *on5t mean to soun* li7e a *#ill
se#geant, +ut I want you to get it th#ough you# @&#o+a+lyA thic7 an* stu++o#n s7ullK Sto& Being So ,amn Sma#t All
"he "imeII
Ahem.
5Scuse me.
...I5ll +e calm.
,iscove# the Coy of ,ivine Stu&i*ity, an* stan* +ac7 in ama/ement as the whole wo#l* offe#s itself to you.
I5ve got something coo7ing fo# tomo##ow5s lesson, so Bust *o you# +est to #emem+e#$to$fo#get you#
7nowle*ge9memo#y, as this will hel& immensely fo# tomo##ow5s s&ecial t#eat. I want to sha#e with you some of the
things I5ve lea#ne* a+out .omani/ing +ase* on watching my f#ien*5s inc#e*i+le ,ivine Stu&i*ity.
6. ,ivine stu&i*ity
I woul*n5t wish fo# an i*ea<asms5 stu*ent to *ate any woman out the#e. I woul*n5t +e so c#uel as to set he# u& with
one of them. I can #emem+e# a time when I use* to go a#oun* an* meet u& with these guys who &u#chase my
&#o*ucts, an* +efo#e long, I coul*n5t wait to get the hell out of the#e. 8ventually, I sto&&e* t#aveling. HaI
.hile I *on5t ?hate? them +y any st#etch of the imagination, I *on5t much ?li7e? the maBo#ity of them eithe#. I *o Love
them, +ut only f#om a safe *istance. I &#ay fo# them, an* I thin7 a+out them a lot, an* how they suffe#. I t#y to
*iscove# newe# an* +ette# ways to get my &oint ac#oss. "he only lesson fo# them to lea#n, of cou#se, is to Love
.omen. Jet they all #efuse to. @.ell, mostly anyway.A
"H8 =NO.$I"$ALL
4e#ha&s even wo#se than #efusing to Love .omen, they @ve#y oftenA thin7 they5ve #eache* )ncon*itional Love *ue
to #ea*ing, an* memo#i/ing, an* intellectuali/ing eve#ything I say, w#ite, sha#e, an* teach. So they t#y to +ullshit
themselves that they 7now eve#ything @an* how women 7now nothingA. ,ee& *own they *o not #es&ect, no# Love,
women in the slightest. "hey have a ty&e of ?love9hate? thing goin5 on with women, an* thei# &ain is so eno#mous
that they +loc7 it out of awa#eness. Neve# un*e#estimate the &owe# of ,enial, #ightF
"he main #eason I woul*n5t #ecommen* most of my stu*ents to any woman out the#e is sim&leK
I 7now e>actly what thei# *ate woul* loo7 li7eI
..."hat is, the guy will sit the#e an* 5&a##ot5 these wo#*s, teachings, etc., to t#y to show he# how so&histicate*,
intelligent, an* ?uncon*itionally loving? he #eally is. Mo#eove#, he will @su+tly, casually, almost im&e#ce&ti+lyA t#eat
he# li7e an i*iot fo# not 7nowing eve#ything that he thin7s he 7nows.
An*, he will often sen* me an email that loo7s li7e thisK
?Hi Ste&hane,
"han7 you fo# you# .is*om. Jou have change* my life, manII But I5m sta#ting to get *e&#esse*. Jou say that only
a small, select, few women a#e integ#ous an* 7now Love. "hat ma7es me won*e# if I will eve# fin* one of them.
.he#e *o you thin7 I shoul* go to meet women who 7now s&i#itual loveF I am won*e#ful, #eally, +ut the women I
meet a#e not even close to +eing on my level of consciousness. Any suggestionsF .he#e a#e all the goo* women
hi*ingF?
"hat is &#o+a+ly the one email I get the most often. "he guy who won*e#s if the#e is some 7in* of ?sec#et location?
whe#e the ?goo*? women a#e.
It is f#om the guy who thin7s he 7nows... the man who thin7s he5s lea#ne* what I have +een sha#ing with him. It is
the intellectual man, which is not ve#y *iffe#ent f#om the 4#i*eful man. He coul* ve#y well +e Integ#ous an*
successful in the wo#l*, +ut he isn5t li7ely going to succee* with women in this lifetime. He is too stu++o#n to Love.
An*, women sec#etly can5t stan* him. "hey *on5t even 7now why they *on5t li7e him, they Bust 7now he5s full$of$shit.
2ull of intellectual ga#+age.
His intellectual collection of s&i#itual ga#+age is *amn im&#essive. He5s #ea* all the +oo7s. "he man, fo# all intents
an* &u#&oses, 7nows eve#ything the#e is to 7now a+out All Of Life. 8>ce&t how to .omani/e, an* it is eating him
alive.
".O ,A"8S A J8A:
.hile out on a *ate E if he can even get himself two *ates a yea# E he com&a#es his 7nowle*ge with he#s, an*
inevita+ly, she always comes u& sho#t. ?She5s &#o+a+ly non$integ#ous?, he conclu*es, an* goes home alone, again.
Late at night he won*e#s, ?Am I the one who5s actually non$integ#ousF? +ut the Huestion is too &ainful to
contem&late u&on so he *ismisses it an* as7s himself, ?.he#e a#e the goo* womenF May+e all this s&i#itual stuff is
sc#ewing me ove# an* ma7ing me &a#anoi*F?
His thought &#ocess goes on an* on... he as7s Huestions, an* #elies on his intellect to fin* answe#s. Ouestion,
answe#. Ouestion, answe#. Ouestion, an* answe#. On an* on an* on an* on li7e this until -am.
He then 5wan7s off5 to some &o#n, you 7now, +ecause the o#gasm will hel& him Huiet the min* an* fall aslee&. "hen,
?I #eally shoul* t#anscen* lust,? he thin7s, an* now he feels guilty fo# in*ulging in &o#n. So he *eci*es E to assuage
his guilt E that he won5t watch &o#n anymo#e, o# at least he will Huit the ha+it... soon.
4HON8 %ONS)L"A"IONS $ "H8 SA, ":)"H
Afte# wo#7ing with men fo# most of my life, an* succee*ing with women fo# most of my life, you5* +e su#&#ise* what
I 7now. .hen a guy calls me u&, +efo#e he even finishes stating his case an* as7ing his fi#st Huestion, I 7now his
ve#y thought &#ocess. I 7now what he5s going to as7, I 7now what he5s not going to hea#, an* I @usuallyA 7now how
thic7 his ,enial is going to +e. "he#e is almost nothing I *on5t 7now a+out the guy, an* if you5ve hea#* some of the
#eco#*e* consultations, you can see how I often answe# ten Huestions he *i*n5t even thin7 to as7. I often Bust cut
the guy off an* com&lete his sentences fo# him. I *on5t mean to +e #u*e o# im&atientG my intention is to #elieve his
suffe#ing as soon as &ossi+le, so I t#y to give him eve#ything I can as Huic7ly as I can in one shot. "he#e is, afte# all,
only an hou# fo# us to wo#7 with each othe#.
It might soun* +a*, what I5m a+out to say... +ut I *on5t conce#n myself much with many of the guys who call me.
My main conce#n is to ma7e a goo*, soli*, ?Bam$&ac7e*? #eco#*ing. It isn5t that I *on5t want to hel& the calle#, it is
that I 7now well in a*vance that he isn5t going to un*e#stan* me anyway. His ,enial will +e too thic7 an* stu++o#n,
an* if I call him on his 4#i*e... he coul* 5im&lo*e5 emotionally. @I have set off enough 5tic7ing time$+om+s5 in my *ay
an* have lea#ne* the wis*om of caution... somewhat.A
Many of the guys who5ve calle* me, if you 7now how to *etect since#e com&#ehension an* un*e#stan*ing li7e I *o,
you5ll see how they *i*n5t a+so#+ no# lea#n much of anything. It isn5t easy to *etect though, +ecause most of them
a#e ve#y e>&e#ience* in the a#t of &#eten*ing to un*e#stan*. In this way, they can avoi* loo7ing stu&i*.
"hey want to avoi* loo7ing stu&i*, yet the whole 7ey to .omani/ing is to su##en*e# to the state of ,ivine Stu&i*ityI
...Man, life is se#iously unfai#, in a sense...
4e#ha&s the single most *ifficult thing fo# a man is to sim&ly a*mit he *oesn5t 7now eve#ything. @8s&ecially in f#ont
of a woman.A
?I =NO.?
Many of these guys often t#y to mimic me +ecause they thin7 they 7now what I am li7e while in the &#esence of
women +ase* on how I am with them.
.ith them, I5m ve#y sha#&, Huic7, sma#t, intellectually e#u*iteG I can easily tal7 fo# an enti#e *ay without #e&eating
myself even once. So, what these guys *o, is what eve#yone *oes when they a#e lea#ning f#om someone. "hat is,
they mimic an* co&y. "his is how we humans lea#n, an* this is &ossi+ly the +est way to lea#n. Mimic, co&y, act ?as
if?, an* #e&eat this until you maste# it. <#eat.
Now, it isn5t a&&#o&#iate fo# me to +e in a state of ,ivine Stu&i*ity when I5m teaching. Jou see, conte>t is
eve#ything. In my &#ofessional life, I5m a &#ofessional, man. But, when I5m alone, o# when I5m with a woman, I5m no
longe# a teache# @unless she goes out of he# way to as7, an* even then, I t#y to sha#e as little as &ossi+leA. So
these &oo# naive intellectual guys see me teaching, an* then when they5#e out on *ates they t#y to mimic that
+ehavio#. "hey teach women what I teach themI
Instea* of living the &#inci&les, the wis*om... they &#each it an* they teach it an* they t#y to *emonst#ate to women
how so&histicate* an* intellectually e#u*ite they #eally a#e. "o ma7e matte#s wo#se, this 7in* of s&i#itual wis*om is
*amn im&#essive an* suc7s &eo&le E inclu*ing women E into some *ee& *iscussions. "he &#o+lem is those
*iscussions a#e intellectual. 8ven though the guy is tal7ing a+out Love an* s&i#ituality an* #elationshi& *ynamics, it
is still Bust tal7ingness.
If you want to .omani/e, you have to switch gea#s.
Jou have to +y&ass the intellect com&letely. "he intellect is an im&#essive tool, yes, an* some women will +e
suc7e* in +y it, im&#esse* +y it, an* even fall in love with it... fo# a little while. But it won5t accom&lish much in the
long #un. It won5t +e* many women, an* the women it *oes get into +e* won5t want to +e in that +e* fo# ve#y long.
Men have to sto& t#ying to show women that they 57now a+out5 so many im&#essive things.
Men have to sto& 5showing off5 how intelligent an* #esou#ceful they a#e. )nconsciously, men a#e #eally t#ying to
show women that they a#e su&e#io# to them, the#efo#e, women shoul* Bust *o whateve# they say @i.e., she shoul* *o
an* ?follow him to the en* of the wo#l*? an* se#ve himA. "he male ego is *esigne* to t#eat women as who#es, t#uly.
Some women want to +e t#eate* li7e who#es, +ut only +ecause they Bust *on5t 7now any +ette# an* a#e 5aslee&5.
?"#eat a la*y li7e a who#e, an* t#eat a who#e li7e a la*y.? E .ell$7nown ?t#uth *isto#tion? #ega#*ing how to
.omani/e
"his accounts fo# why so many men a#e actually managing to slee& with at least a few women. Many women a#e
lonely an* Bust *on5t 7now any +ette#. So, the guy succee*s an* naively assumes that his intellect can +e #elie*
u&on in the conte>t calle* .omani/e *ue to his s&o#a*ic, shallow, an* #elatively few successes.
Success is *ange#ous as it ve#y often #esults in the intellectuali/e* illusion of ?I 7now.?
"he suggestion fo# to*ay is to continue the &#actice of not 7nowing anything. 2o# e>am&le, if a woman as7s you a
Huestion, instea* of Bum&ing at the chance to se#ve he# with you# inc#e*i+le wis*om, t#y going, ?I *on5t 7now.? @She
will instinctively un*e#stan* this to mean, ?Let5s fuc7.?A
"his has to +e *one in a ce#tain way, an* it *oes #eHui#e cou#age. .hen you say, ?I *on5t 7now? you have to +e
a+le to maintain a ce#tain ty&e of eye$contact with he#. It is the ;en loo7 of Silent =nowingness @ga/e into he# eyes
gently, while simultaneously +eing awa#e of you# &e#i&he#al vision, an* also +e awa#e of you# +#eathingA.
2A=8 SMIL8$LA)<HS
"his 5;en loo75 smiles with the eyes +ut not with the mouth. "he mouth may smile, +ut Bust a little an* only on #a#e
occasions.
.itness the 7now$it$all5s who utte#ly suc7 with women. @Let5s +e as f#an7 as we can he#e a+out all this. "his is a
*ee&ly &ainful an* em+a##assing su+Bect to tac7le, yes, +ut it nee*s to +e face* hea*$on an* without guilt o#
shame. "ough LoveIA Men ve#y often suc7 with women sim&ly
+ecause
they
smile
too
much.
K$A
"hey smile too much +ecause they 57now5 too much.
"hey5#e constantly t#ying to show women how they 7now eve#ything a+out eve#y thing in the wo#l*, an* while they
a#e *oing so, they have the fa7e salesman smile goin5 on. It is +ecause they a#e attem&ting to sell women a &#o*uct
calle* "he .on*e#ful Me. Of cou#se, simultaneously, they a#e unconsciously telling women, ?%om&a#e* to me,
you5#e nothing.?
It isn5t that men a#e 5evil5 o# *eli+e#ately wanting to +e 5immo#al5, it is Bust the #esult of +eing +o#n with an animal$ego$
+#ain. It5s Bust the ego, that5s all. It hel&s to #emem+e# that it is Bust the ego *oing what the ego is 5su&&ose*5 to +e
*oing. It wants to im&#ess women. It is ve#y innocent an* actually Huite +eautiful. It Bust wants to &lease, an*
im&#ess, eve#y woman in the wo#l*.
It is *esigne* to 5swell u&5 an* 5show off5 +ecause it nee*s to get lai*, that5s all. "he &#o+lem, of cou#se, is that in so
*oing, it simultaneously +ecomes #igi* an* unloving. "hus, a woman5s &#ima#y com&laint a+out men is that they a#e
5g#oss5 an* 5c#ee&y5.
"his ?g#oss an* *isgusting? style of ?I 7now, an* I smile too much +ecause I 7now eve#ything? communication is
going on +etween men an* women at eve#y moment of each *ay all ove# the wo#l* in eve#y count#y on the ma&...
you may not even see it at fi#st, +ecause it is sooooo familia#I It is ha&&ening so constantly an* continuously an*
with so few e>ce&tions that the ave#age man may nee* a little hel& *etecting it, initially. @Once you see it though, it5ll
a+solutely 7noc7 you out. Jou5ll +e shoc7e* fo# wee7s.A
Asi*e f#om the s&i#itual &#actice of )n7nowing @i.e., Bust &#eten*ing to not 7now anythingA, a** the &#actice of not
smiling @an* es&ecially not fa7e$laughingA.
Most smiling L laughing that goes on in society is actually fa7e, false, fo#ce*, st#aine*, w#ong.
It is *esigne* to t#y to fo#ce social #a&&o#t @i.e., f#ien*shi& an* intimacyA whe#e the#e is none. In fa7e smile$laughing,
man t#ies to hi*e the gla#ing fact that he suc7s with women @i.e., 4#i*e9,enialA.
It is much mo#e effective to smile inwa#*ly f#om the state of emotionless Coy than outwa#*ly f#om the state of
common insecu#ity.
"he way to 5access5 emotionless Coy is via the &#actice of, ?I, of myself, 7now nothing.? It is the &#actice of no$
o&inion, no$+elief, no$intellect, no$min*.
HOM8.O:= 9 4:A%"I%)M
Again, &#actice not 7nowing anything, an* &#actice telling women that you *on5t 7now things. If you won5t +e tal7ing
to any women to*ay, &#actice o+se#ving men an* women, an* inten* to notice the su+tle su+communication of ?I5m
sma#t an* you5#e stu&i*? that goes on at eve#y level in society.
Of cou#se, women a#e *oing this to men also. "hey a#e +oth eHually 5victim5 an* 5&e#&5. Howeve#, focus on men
+ecause, afte# all, you5#e wanting to lea#n how to .omani/e, an* you must +e a+le to clea#ly see how men a#e
wo#7ing e>t#emely ha#* on showing women how sma#t they a#e @an* how *um+ the woman isA.
Smile inwa#*ly an* with you# eyes, an* *on5t 57now5 much a+out anything. "he less smile$7nowing, the +ette#.
"hese two masculine$ego a**ictions can +e tough to +#ea7, so +e &atient with you#self at all times, no e>ce&tions.
I5m +eing a little #ough on you, yes, +ut +ehin* these wo#*s the#e is an ene#gy fiel* of ?tough love.? Being 7in* with
you#self sometimes nee*s to come out of a "ough Love ene#gy fiel* of 1alo#, es&ecially when it comes to getting
you#self to move +eyon* these *ifficult$to$let$go$of ?ego &atte#ns? an* heavily ing#aine* +o*y$#es&onse ha+its.
I5ll +e +ac7 tomo##ow to tell you mo#e a+out this f#ien* of mine, the maste# of ,ivine Stu&i*ity. I #eali/e I sai* this
woul* +e to*ay, +ut &lans have a way of changing with meG I5m ve#y *e&en*a+le, yes, +ut not in a left$+#aine*,
logical, linea# 7in* of way.
Smile inwa#*ly an* with you# eyes @an* not with the mouthA, an* *on5t 57now5 much a+out anything. Jou5* +e
su#&#ise* that this is going to *o to you# 5game5II
10. "#ou+leshoot Not
My wife *oesn5t +othe# to teach +ecause f#an7ly, most men woul*n5t listen. Afte# all, they +a#ely even listen to me
when I5ve +een hi#e* to teach them KA
An* this is the whole &#o+lem they have when it comes to .omani/ing. ,ue to thei# unconscious &#og#amming to
&#ove to women that they a#e al&ha, an* the#efo#e wo#thy, of a woman5s attention, they ?cho7e? Love +efo#e it even
has a chance to +lossom. In t#ying to attain a woman5s Love, &a#a*o>ically, they &ush it away.
=)N,ALINI
Love *oesn5t come in f#om the f#ont, it comes in f#om +ehin*. In s&i#itual te#minology we call it 57un*alini5, o# s&i#itual
ene#gy. It flows in th#ough anyone who can #elinHuish a significant amount of thei# intellectual &#i*e, an* it is a #eal,
lite#al, actual ene#gy. It is the ene#gy that #uns Life itself. It is <o*5s elect#icity, if you will.
=un*alini ene#gy flows in th#ough the +ase cha7#a @i.e., the +ase of the s&ineA an* u& th#ough the +ac7 an* into the
hea*. If enough intellectual na#cissism is #elinHuishe*, 7un*alini ene#gy can #each such intensities at times that it
ma7es one una+le to move, s&ea7, o# even thin7. "he &leasu#a+le sensation is e>Huisite as it flows into the +ac7 of
the +#ain, then it t#ic7les *own th#ough the enti#e +o*y.
It is ca&a+le of healing any illness o# *isease, an* in my case, I haven5t ha* a col* in well ove# two yea#s. Bea# in
min* that I also enBoy a half$&ac7 of ciga#ettes eve#y *ay, an* have smo7e* fo# well ove# 20 yea#s. If anyone is
su&&ose* to get a lot of col*s, it is I. Hec7, I even live in %ana*a. I5m su&&ose* to get at least two maBo# col*s a
yea#, an* in my twenties I often got u& to 3 o# ' col*s &e# yea#. But now... nothing. I5m not saying I5ll neve# get a
col* again, +ut the way things a#e going, I woul*n5t +e su#&#ise*I
In t#ying to g#a+ love f#om the f#ont, man #uins his chances of getting infuse* with Love f#om +ehin*. )nfo#tunately,
without a significant inflow of 57un*alini5 ene#gy, .omani/ing is not &ossi+le.
:8MO1IN< "H8 =)N,ALINI BLO%=A<8S
It isn5t that man is evil, he5s Bust ?+lin*? *ue to +eing utte#ly stuc7 in his intellectual min* @i.e., na#cissistic self$
o+sessionA.
"he man who is out on a *ate tal7s way too much. He also smiles too much, an* a significant &e#centage of his
laughte# is fo#ce*, cont#ive*, an* fa7e*. He ma7es himself laugh +ecause he is t#ying to cove# u& the fact that5s
he5s insecu#e @i.e., na#cissisticA. He5s ne#vous a#oun* women +ecause he 7nows he will fail... again. But, his *enial
is so thic7, so stu++o#n, an* so naive that he will go on an* on... tal7ing an* tal7ing... smiling away... laughing
ne#vously...
"he wo#se thing that can ha&&en to this man is he gets lai*I
.hyF It is sim&le. If he gets the gi#l to come home with him, he will then loo7 +ac7 on his *ate an* c#eate all 7in*s
of +eliefs a+out what it was that 5cause*5 he# to want to slee& with him. )nconsciously, he will naively assume that it
was *ue to his a+ility to im&#ess he# via his intellect9min*9&e#sonality an*9o# the way he loo7s, smells, an* soun*s.
2oolishly, he *oesn5t #eali/e that att#action an* love have no 5cause5G these a#e innate to natu#e an* to S&i#it. Man
wants to fo#ce natu#al att#action as well as cont#ol Love itself. Instea* of allowing women to select, he t#ies to fo#ce
the natu#al selection &#ocess via fa7e laughte#, useless +a++le$tal7ingness, an* the wea#ing of &o&ula# name +#an*
clothing.
"he woman who *ates such a man is actually +eing fe* the ve#y same Bo7es, same sto#ies, an* same ?#outines? he
has t#ie* to fo#ce$fee* to eve#y woman &#io# to to*ay5s *ate. An*, each time this man has gotten lai*, he has loo7e*
+ac7 u&on the night5s *ating events an* un*e#gone a ty&e of intellectuali/e* o#gani/ational statistical analysis
ho&ing to un*e#stan* what wo#7e*, an* what *i* not wo#7. He then +uil*s an enti#e +elief system out of his &#io#
successes an* failu#es an* uses this +elief system to t#y to navigate his way th#ough his love life, +ut the ave#age
man neve# 7nows Love an* *ies alone, confuse*, *e&#esse*, *eBecte*, an* wo#se... he is usually in ,enial a+out
his own &ain.
ALLO.IN< 4AIN "O S):2A%8
"he min* not only uses the mechanism of ,enial to +loc7 man5s awa#eness of the 4#esence of <o*, +ut it also
uses ,enial to +loc7 out his awa#eness of his own &ain an* suffe#ing. Mo#eove#, he *enies his own limitations an*
&#oBects them out onto othe#s. 2o# e>am&le, if he is ashame* of his inne# hat#e*s, his min* un*e#goes a ve#y
com&le> &#ocess of Bustification, *enial an* &#oBection in which he Bustifies his hate, tells himself that it #eally isn5t
hate, an* then sees hat#e* ?out the#e? an* in Bust a+out eve#yone he comes into contact with.
Sec#etly, eve#y man +elieves his +elief system is the only co##ect one. .itness men *iscussing the a#t of +eing with
women an* you5ll ve#y often see men t#ying to s&oon$fee* thei# ?&#io# success? memo#y files onto each othe#.
Astonishingly, even the g#eatest failu#es with women all sec#etly +elieve that they 7now eve#ything, an* eve#y+o*y
else E an* es&ecially women E a#e all stu&i* i*iots. He 7nows the t#uth... an* eve#yone who *oesn5t a+i*e +y his
t#uth is sec#etly #esente* an* consi*e#e* to +e infe#io# to him.
If only they 7new... that they all 7now nothing of any value whatsoeve#. All intellectual 7nowle*ge is wo#thless in the
conte>t of t#ue .omani/ing. It +loc7s the inflow of 7un*alini an* the awa#eness of Love.
"o let go of the intellect #eHui#es :a*ical Humility, an* most men *on5t have this 7in* of cou#age. Most men *on5t
have <o* in thei# lives, the#efo#e, they lac7 even the most +asic cou#age. Although many men ?+elieve? in <o*, it is
Bust anothe# se#ies of intellectuali/e* notions sto#e* in thei# memo#y +an7s. "o ?+elieve? in <o* is one thingG to
=now Him is Huite anothe#.
"H8 <:8A"8S" =)N,ALINI BLO%= O2 ALL
It #eHui#es a willingness to #elinHuish the chil*ish notion that the ego is 5me5 an* to see it as it t#uly is in :eality,
which is nothing mo#e than a se#ies of ela+o#ate &#og#ams which a#ose within the animal 7ing*om long ago.
.ith the willingness to 5*etach5 f#om the ego9min* an* sta#t #efe##ing to it as an 5it5 #athe# than as a 5me5, it then
+ecomes #athe# easy an* automatic to +e a+le to see the *ownsi*e of the ego an* the#efo#e not have to &#oBect it
?out the#e? onto woman L wo#l*.
4e#ha&s the ve#y last thing men want to *o is lea#n f#om a woman, so, my wife *oesn5t teach. She ma7es an
a&&ea#ance on ou# fo#um eve#y now an* again, +ut she #ef#ains f#om teaching @an* she5s fine with itA. .e *on5t
#esent this, we thin7 it5s hila#ious. "he human +eing is #eally Bust a *ivine come*ian an* he *oesn5t #eali/e he5s a
*ivine come*ian. .e often have to +ite ou# tongues when s&ea7ing with &eo&le +ecause thei# +eing so stuc7 in the
intellect seems ve#y funny to us. Not in a nasty, con*escen*ing wayG we laugh in the same way one laughs at thei#
chil*#en an* thei# &ets. %hil*#en an* 7itties a#e en*lessly hila#ious *ue to thei# innocence an* naivety.
S&ea7ing of which, I5* li7e to show you a vi*eo of the ego9min*, *oing what it *oesK
htt&K99www.youtu+e.com9watchFvZn"as"-h0L8g
As you can see, the ego9min* a#ose f#om the animal 7ing*om a+out a +illion yea#s ago an* has +ecome Huite
so&histicate*. By all means, *o not hate it. ,on5t #esent itG it got you he#e. It got you this fa#.
Jou see, it is a g#eat tool fo# hel&ing you maste# the wo#l*, +ut when it comes to .omani/ing, it *oesn5t have
enough 4owe# to *o the Bo+. "he intellect is cute, naive, an* actually ve#y lova+le. I5ll +et it even got you a few goo*
lays ove# the yea#s. But, it is not eHui&&e* to han*le S&i#itual Love an* thus t#ue .omani/ing.
"o .omani/e &#o&e#ly an* effectively, you must not only *evelo& a state of ,ivine Stu&i*ity, +ut you must come to
#eve#e an* #es&ect the intellect an* hea#t of the women you a&&#oach an* *ate f#om now on. "his coul* &#ove to
+e su#&#isingly *ifficult, at least initially. Jou can e>&ect some fea# an* #esistance f#om you# animal$intellect. Jou
see, it is ve#y heavily &#og#amme* to t#y to show itself off to women. Naively, it +elieves that it nee*s to *o this to
su#vive an* &#o&agate the human s&ecies.
"he#efo#e, let us loo7 at what is &e#ha&s one of the easiest an* Huic7est ways to *issolve the inne# animal *esi#e to
show off.
60D H8:, 10D M8
4e#ha&s the ve#y last thing a man shoul* eve# tal7 a+out is himself.
.hen I am out on a *ate, I5m ve#y #eluctant to s&ea7 a+out myself +ecause the#e #eally is nothing ve#y inte#esting
o# valua+le fo# me to sha#e. I fin* myself utte#ly +o#ing. I5m not inte#este* in 5me5 @i.e., the +o*y$min* an* associate*
memo#iesA, I5m only inte#este* in *evelo&ing a *ee& state of S&i#itual Love in the he#e an* now. Somehow, to even
+othe# &ulling out my memo#ies an* showing them to the woman seems li7e a cho#e.
Let5s see... the#e is my chil*hoo* an* u&+#inging... +o#ing. My &a#ents an* family... +o#ing. "he schools I went to...
+o#ing. "he +usiness I #un... +o#ing. I s&ea7 enough all *ay long to &eo&le that when I am out with a woman, I5*
#athe# not ?tal7 sho&? a#oun* he#. "he f#ien*s I have, the &laces I5ve t#avele* to, the wo#l*ly things I5ve
accom&lishe*... +o#ing, +o#ing, +o#ing.
Acco#*ing to the na#cissistic ego, eve#y stu&i* an* +o#ing thing you5ve eve# *one @an* even you# thoughtsA a#e
totally mesme#i/ing an* su&e#$e>citing. Jet actually, you5#e #eally nothing s&ecial... Jou5#e no Cames Bon*, let me
tell you.
"he suggestion is to +ecome +o#e* with you#self. "he ego wants you to feel im&o#tant an* s&ecial, the#efo#e,
+ecome &lain an* o#*ina#y. Jou will soon #a*iate an au#a of *ee& humility that women fin* so att#active an* healing
that it feels li7e they have come ?Home.? "he wait#ess will want to #efill you# coffee a hun*#e* timesG the cashie# will
fo#get how to count an* give you changeG the nu#se will +an*age you u& so well that you can neve# leave the
*octo#s office.
Ma7e you#self unim&o#tant. Become ?nothing s&ecial? an* o&enly stu&i*. .hen a woman as7s you the time, Bust
loo7 at he# an* go, ?I *on5t 7now.? .hen she as7s fo# *i#ections, in that moment you a#e to com&letely fo#get whe#e
you a#e. Jou can even say, ?Ma5am, #ight now I +a#ely even #emem+e# my own name.?
Ma7e su#e you have the 5/en ga/e5 while you *o this, othe#wise this a*vice will +e utte#ly useless. "he 4#esence
has to +e st#ong. "he inne# stillness is what ma7es this wo#7 so well. "he &#esence an* stillness a#ise f#om
a*mitting the t#uth that you# ego is stu&i* an* 7nows nothing of any value whatsoeve# @humilityA.
I #ecommen* fo#getting a+out you#self, an* giving you# attention to the woman as totally an* com&letely as she will
allow you to. She will li7ely nee* to 7now a few +asic things a+out you, of cou#se, +ut if you can, t#y to 7ee& the
focus on he#. "he suggestion is to st#ive fo# a 60D he#, an* 10D 5you5 #atio, if you will.
Not only is this a g#eat tool fo# letting go of na#cissism, +ut it offe#s so much mo#e than that. @2o# one thing, the
mo#e she 7nows a+out you, the less fascinating you5ll +ecome.A A woman wants to feel that you a#e com&letely
swe&t away +y he# timeless +eauty. An* in t#uth, you actually a#e swe&t away +y he# timeless +eauty, a#e you notF
Most men a#e *ee&ly af#ai* of showing this to women. "hey *on5t want to show thei# att#action, a*mi#ation, #es&ect,
an* love +ecause they fea# women will view them as wea7. So they t#y to hol* +ac7, give only a little, an* t#y to
ta7e a whole lotI )nconsciously, men see7 to conHue#, *ominate, an* win. )nfo#tunately, this &#og#amming often
only 5wins5 with non$integ#ous women an* simultaneously &#eclu*es Love.
"he ?sec#et? to .omani/ing is to o&enly Love women without #ese#vation an* without emotion.
Anothe# #eason it is +est to let he# *o most of the tal7ing is +ecause f#an7ly, if you5#e #eally honest with you#self, you
*on5t #eally li7e no# enBoy tal7ing ve#y much. "oo much wo#7I
4e#sonally, I woul* much #athe# listen to a +eautiful woman tal7ing while I a*mi#e he# +eauty in silence, woul*n5t
youF
I #emem+e# in the ?ol* *ays? when I use* to *ate women an* have ?ci#cle? #elationshi&s with u& to th#ee of them at
a time, an* this meant the#e we#e usually to 12 women in my house on most *ays +ecause thei# f#ien*s woul*
come ove# to hang out.
<uy f#ien*s woul* come to visit me, of cou#se, an* they often wante* to get involve* with the conve#sations the
gi#ls we#e having. "his is a ve#y naive an* limiting mista7e to ma7e while in the com&any of so many women. "he
t#ic7 is to sim&ly 7ic7 +ac7 an* o&enly enBoy the a+un*ance of *ivine feminine +eauty while s&ea7ing as little as
&ossi+le.
"he *ifficulty in letting go of the a**iction to tal7ingness is often Bust this &o&ula# notion that if the man *oesn5t tal7
an* have ve#y inte#esting things to say in o#*e# to 5hoo7 he# attention5, she coul* leave. In his *esi#e to ma7e the
woman stay @an* cont#ol the mate selection &#ocessA, mo*e#n man goes on the Inte#net an* memo#i/es a
thousan* fancy things to say in o#*e# to ma7e a+solutely su#e that women will sto& wal7ing off in +o#e*om.
Blin*e* +y his se>ual *esi#e, man t#ies to cont#ol the selection &#ocess an* thus en*s u& *ating women who a#en5t
a&&#o&#iate fo# him. His few successes usually tu#n out to +e failu#es when viewe* f#om a highe# &e#s&ective.
"he min* will t#y to convince you that if you follow this a*vice an* +ecome Huiet, stu&i*, hum+le, o#*ina#y, etc. that
it will 5cause5 women to thin7 you a#e too &lain an* +o#ing.
"he min* will t#y to convince you of this, an* as usual, the min* cannot +e counte* on fo# much of anything.
"he#efo#e, #enounce it. :enounce all o&inions an* the min* will +egin to fall silent. "he silence #esults in levels of
.omani/e that5ll ma7e you c#y. "he c#ying will ma7e the min* even mo#e silent...
B8%OMIN< IN1ISIBL8
:athe# than ove#$s&ea7ing, ove#$smiling, an* ove#$laughing in o#*e# to &ass a woman5s so$calle* ?al&ha tests? an*
the#e+y ho&efully ?cause? he# to feel att#action an* love, it is a won*e#ful thing to #eali/e that all of this nonsense
can +e ha&&ily *isca#*e* fo#eve#. "he less you can thin7 a+out, an* s&ea7 a+out, you#self... the +ette#. "he less
cleve#, sma#t, etc. you a#e, an* the less you wo#7 on you# communication s7ills, the +ette# off you5ll +e. "he man
who +a#ely s&ea7s can have a+out ?eve#y othe# gi#l? he tal7s to.
It all +oils *own to ?shut u& an* 5/en ga/e5 an* sto& thin7ing you nee* to 5*o5 something to 5cause5 women to want
you.?
Isn5t this ama/ingF "he com&lete o&&osite of eve#ything you5ve +een taught +y f#ien*s, 4)A5s, teache#s, society,
etc. is actually the ?sec#et to success? in the a#t of .omani/e.
It is +est to sim&ly fall in Love with women an* allow them to select you natu#ally. 2o#tunately, the less tal7ing you
*o @es&ecially a+out you#selfA, the +ette# you# chances will +e of +eing selecte*. .hen s&ea7ing to a woman, I want
to 7now eve#ything I can a+out he#. .ho is sheF
"he i*ea is to as7 he# any Huestion that comes to min* in o#*e# to get he# to #eveal as much as she can, as Huic7ly
as she can. I want to 7now what he# favo#ite foo* is, *oes she li7e &oet#y, has she eve# +een in loveF ,oes she
have any +#othe#s an* siste#sF ,oes she get along with themF Is she a Li+#a, AHua#ius, <eminiF
"hese Huestions a#e not meant to +e as7e* in #a&i*$fi#e succession, +ut in a long, *#awn out, calm, slow, ?Let5s
ta7e ou# time an* savo# the moment? 7in* of way. Jou5ll soon *iscove# that as7ing a woman only one Huestion will
+e enough to get he# tal7ing fo# twenty minutes o# mo#e.
It seems the#e a#e two +asic 7in*s of women in the wo#l* E *ea* women, an* live one5s. By as7ing he# some
Huestions, I5m t#ying to fin* out of she is alive an* loves +eing alive. "he women who love life itself a#e also going
to love me.
A woman with high self$esteem is ve#y often one who tal7s a lot. .hen as7e* Huestions, the since#ity +ehin* one5s
Huestions is what ignites a s&a#7 in he#. In t#uth, the#e is nothing I love mo#e than to listen to a woman tal7. She can
tal7 a+out almost anything... he# tal7ing +lisses me out, an* my state of Bliss is all a woman #eally wants. "he +liss
is contagious. ?"ell me all a+out you# won*e#fully +eautiful self? is the silent, uns&o7en communication. My since#e
a*mi#ation an* a&&#eciation fo# he# then gives he# e>actly the 7in* of ene#gy that she nee*s to o&en u& li7e a
flowe# in my a#ms. All I eve# *o is &u##.
.heneve# she as7s me a+out myself, I &#efe# to give ve#y sho#t answe#s. 2o# e>am&le, the Huestion, ?.hat *o you
*o fo# a livingF? might +e answe#e* with, ?Nothing much, what a+out youF? As st#ange as it may soun*, women
un*e#stan* this to mean, ?Let5s go home togethe#.?
AB% $ AL.AJS B8 %LOSIN<
8ve#ything I *o, say, an* am su+tly communicates to he#, ?Let5s go home togethe#.?
An* this is the &#o+lem men have, they a#e af#ai* to +e this way +ecause they *on5t want to offen* women. "he
solution, of cou#se, is to +e this way #ega#*less of how women #es&on* to it. "hey #es&on* favo#a+ly when it comes
f#om innocence #athe# than *esi#e9lust. If we have se> o# not, I honestly *o not ca#e. I woul* #athe# listen to he# tal7
an* cu**le u& with he# than have se> anyway. "his 7in* of chil*li7e innocence is what allows escalation to +e f#ee
f#om guilt an* fea# of #eBection. Of cou#se, my animal$ego wants to se> he#, +ut since this animal isn5t 5me5 the#e
*oesn5t nee* to +e any guilt o# shame a+out it.
.ith innocence, it is #athe# easy an* automatic to sim&ly tell a woman, ?Let5s go home.? It can +e Huite funny to see
this in action. Often, within a matte# of a few sho#t minutes, the woman an* I a#e sitting togethe#, ga/ing into each
othe#s eyes, an* 7issing. 2#ee f#om *esi#e, lust, fea#, guilt, an* wo##y, I sim&ly go in fo# the 7ill automatically an*
without hesitation. I am in love with he#, an* Bust waiting fo# he# to catch u& in he# own time. My &u##ing ten*s to
o&en he# fai#ly #a&i*ly.
"his attitu*e an* *emeano# with women is easy to lea#n +ecause it is al#ea*y innate. "he chil* in you falls in love
with women instantly, yet has lea#ne* to hi*e this innocent love *ue to a num+e# of facto#s @i.e., fea#, *enial, social
&#og#amming, et al.A. As these +loc7s fall to the g#oun* li7e a *isca#*e* ga#ment, one stan*s na7e* an* f#ee to
love.
":O)BL8SHOO" NO"
"his 7in* of tal7 usually +#ings u& the whole, ?Jeah, +ut what if she is offen*e* +y my o+vious a*vancesF? @O# what
if she5s #u*e, sa#castic, +itchy, aloof, an* so on.A
,ivine Stu&i*ity is the answe#. 2#om the state of innocence, women #a#ely #esist. An* when they *o, it ma7es no
*iffe#ence. I still get to enBoy he# #esistance E it is all the same. If she sla&s my face I5m still *ee&ly enamo#e* with
he# +eauty. As she wal7s off feeling in*ignant, 5mo#ally su&e#io#5, an* ang#y, I am enBoying he# +eautiful +ottom.
Nothing has change*G the#e is neve# anything to t#ou+leshoot.
Be li7e an innocent chil* who 7nows nothing an* *oesn5t even com&#ehen* #eBection. If a woman gets offen*e*,
you *on5t even have to notice it. Jou can Bust 7ee& ga/ing, stu&i*ly, innocently, as though you only un*e#stan* an*
7now one thing an* one thing onlyK Love.
Ma7e it so that all ?non$love? *oes not even #egiste#. 4lay *um+, as if you5ve neve# met a woman who *i* not fin*
you a&&ealing, so you5#e the#efo#e not ca&a+le of #egiste#ing #eBection, let alone feeling humiliate* +y it.
?"8S"S?
.hen a woman as7s you anything that &laces you on the 5hot seat5, o# wheneve# she ma7es you# sola#$&le>us fla#e
u&, it is +ecause she *oesn5t 7now any +ette# an* is communicating with you on the level of 4#i*e. It the#efo#e hits
you #ight in the sola#$&le>us an* t#igge#s you# su#vival instincts. .hen this ha&&ens, men then tu#n to thei# intellect
to t#y to come u& with something ?goo*? to say. All ove# the wo#l* you see men essentially Bum&ing th#ough a
woman5s hoo&s an* ?*ancing? fo# he#.
In cow+oy movies, you often see the cow+oy shooting all a#oun* anothe# man5s feet an* ma7ing him ?*ance.? "his
is what I see when I loo7 at men who a#e out on *ates. I see a &#etty cowgi#l shooting +ullets a#oun* his feet, an* I
see the man *ancing an* sweating @an* yet &#eten*ing that nothing is w#ongA. I see him fa7e$smiling an* fa7e$
laughing an* t#ying to B.S. himself that eve#ything is O= in o#*e# to maintain his fallacious 5cool guy5 &e#sona. I see
men t#ying to +e sma#t asses an* thin7ing it is the way to fin* Love.
.hen a woman as7s you an im&o#tant$soun*ing Huestion, o# ma7es an accusato#y #ema#7, o# uses sa#casm, o#
says anything un&leasant whatsoeve#... t#y falling +ac7 into a state of ,ivine Stu&i*ity.
.omanK ?I5ll +et you say this to all the gi#ls.?
ManK @Silence. He *oesn5t 7now what to say, the#efo#e, he says nothing. He only un*e#stan*s LoveG all ?non love?
*oes not #egiste# an* me#ely confuses him.A
If she &e#sists, it is usually +ecause she wants to 7now you# intention. My intention is to ma7e love to he# if she5ll
g#ace me with he# +eauty. My intention is to love he# as I am loving he# now, an* listen to he# tal7 a+out anything
she wishes to tal7 a+out. All I want is to +liss out an* &u##. Since I am al#ea*y &u##$+lissing, I get little #esistance
f#om women.
.hateve# women say, whateve# thei# accusations an* su&&ose* 5tests5 a#e, ta7e none of it &e#sonally. .omen a#e
inc#e*i+ly com&le>, emotional, &#i*eful, intellectual, ang#y, fea#ful, Bu*gmental, envious, an* &#eten*ing they a#en5t
igno#ant in the same way men a#e &#eten*ing the same thing.
Men thin7 they nee* to figu#e women out. But, the#e is no nee* to. "#ou+leshoot Not. Sto& t#ying to figu#e women
out, an* Bust fall +ac7 into &laying *um+. ,ivine Stu&i*ity. "he innocence of the chil* is the only 7ey you eve# nee*.
It melts away he# #esistances an* c#eates t#ust.
"he gol*en #ule is sim&ly that when you *on5t #esist he#, she cannot &ush you away +ecause the#e is nothing fo#
he# to g#a+ hol* of an* &ush.
,ivine Stu&i*ity is a state of ultimate non$#esistance. It is a total acce&tance of eve#y single moment. It is only
ca&a+le of #egiste#ing Love. He# #eBection, sa#casm, negativity, etc. a#e not com&#ehensi+le no# a#e they wo#th
t#ying to ?figu#e out? o# t#ou+leshoot.
.omen get ne#vous an* say stu&i* things. ,ivine Stu&i*ity is the answe#. Jou *on5t nee* to &ay much attention to
what women a#e saying. Hec7, you +a#ely even have to listen. 4e#ha&s even the +itchiest woman can +e *iffuse*
with a sim&le, ?Loo7, I *on5t 7now. All I 7now is I5m feeling things, an* I +a#ely even #emem+e# my own name at this
&oint. %ome home with me tonight.?
"he 7ey is to sim&ly Love .omen o&enly an* as innocently as a chil*. .hen this is un*e#stoo* an* su##en*e#e* to,
all Huestions a+out .omani/ing *issolve.
2o#get the intellect, it is the w#ong avenue. ,o not t#avel on the #oa* most t#avele*, the suggestion is to t#avel on
the #oa* which is the least t#avele*. ,on5t +e he# fa7e ?f#ien*? an* have all 7in*s of lengthy *iscussions with he#
when in :eality, you #eally Bust want to ma7e love to he#I .hy ma7e conve#sation o# 5small tal75 when you can +e
fuc7ingF .hy intellectuali/e when you can +liss out an* a*mi#e he# inc#e*i+le feminine +eautyF .hy use the min*
when you can use the hea#t instea*F
<a/e into he# eyes, an* let he# s&ea7. .omen love to tal7, *on5t theyF <o*, they neve# shut u&I .hen I5m with my
guy f#ien*s, sometimes an enti#e afte#noon has gone +y an* nothing has +een sai*. But women E they a#e
*iffe#ent. .omen love to communicate, so let them. ,on5t +e li7e them, Bust a*mi#e them.
Jou have to 7now that it is &e#fectly acce&ta+le fo# you to ga/e u&on a woman5s li&s while she is tal7ing, an* +a#ely
even listen to what she5s saying. "he#e is g#eat f#ee*om in this *iscove#y. .hen she says, ?HelloF .hat *o you
thin7 a+out what the evil co#&o#ations a#e *oing to the envi#onmentF .hat is you# o&inionF? it is actually &e#fectly
fine fo# you to say, ?HuhF Ah, I *on5t 7now... Let5s go sit ove# the#e, shall weF?
A###gh, this is a tough lesson to lea#n, man. Jou will nee* to 7ee& a watchful eye an* #emin* you#self a thousan*
times that you *on5t have to ,O anything, you Bust nee* to 8YIS" in the state of +liss. .heneve# you feel st#ess,
sto& an* ta7e a moment to #eali/e that you# min* is t#ying to ma7e you ,O all 7in*s of things. Action an* st#ess a#e
what the min* o+sesses ove#. "#ou+leshoot notI
11. 4ic7u& in Slow Motion
Although a ce#tain level of ,ivine Stu&i*ity got me th#ough high school, once the 5f#ee #i*e5 of high school5s ?easy
&ussy? *ays came to an en* @an* I no longe# ha* that well$esta+lishe* 5cool guy5 #e&utation to #ely onA, the#e we#e a
num+e# of *#y s&ells an* they a+solutely ho##ifie* me. "hus, I ha* to face u& the the fact that I still coul*n5t
a&&#oach women, an* &e#ha&s wo#se than that, I still ha* no clue how to escalate. )gh. I am gla* those *ays a#e
finally +ehin* me...
)N%ONS%IO)S <)IL"
"he *ee&est issue which 5tainte*5 o# 5colo#e*5 all of my e>&e#iences with women was a *ee&$seate* guilt, an* the
ol*e# I got, the mo#e guilty I felt fo# slee&ing with so many women an*, inevita+ly, +#ea7ing so many hea#ts.
It wasn5t until many yea#s late# that I #eali/e* the hea#t isn5t #eally what +#ea7s, +ut one5s self$image @i.e., &#i*eA. I
+#o7e a lot of female &#i*e. An* yes, many of them +#o7e mine as well. So anyway, this *ee&, unconscious laye# of
guilt haunte* me fo# most of this lifetime, an* often &#eclu*e* me f#om col*$a&&#oaching women an*9o# escalating
things to a &hysical level, even when it was clea# they we#e giving me a 5g#een light5 to slee& with them.
I Bust ha* this fea#fulness an* hesitation, +ut *i*n5t 7now why. Many yea#s late#, the *iscove#y of this inne# 5laye#5 of
unconscious guilt allowe* me to e>&e#ience a g#eat sigh of #elief as this guilt came u& into my conscious
awa#eness an* was given 5&e#mission5 to heal.
,ee& *own, I felt guilty fo# having an ego, as well as fo# having an a+un*ance of animal se>ual *esi#e. How a+out
you#self, *oes this 7in* of guilt soun* familia#F It is li7e feeling guilty fo# +eing a man.
I sim&ly .itnesse* this guilt until it automatically *issolve* in the Light of Awa#eness itself. "his is easy to *o, +ut it
*oes #eHui#e a willingness to en*u#e t#ansito#y anguish. In .itnessing the guilt associate* with having an ego as
well as having animal instinctual *#ives, as silly as this may soun*, it +egan to *awn on me that I *i* not c#eate this
ego no# this animal +o*y. "he ego a#ose s&ontaneously of its own a+out a +illion yea#s ago in the animal$human
wo#l*. It is the#efo#e not 5my fault5, an* no in*ivi*ual is to +lame. So much fo# feeling guiltyI
Along with the #eali/ation that the ego is not 5me5, 5mine5, no# 5my fault5, I &#og#essively *iscove#e* that guilt is +a#ely
even &ossi+le anymo#e. "o hel& this healing &#ocess along, I s&ent time in *ee& me*itation fo#giving the e>istence
@an* limitationsA of humanness itself. Mo#eove#, I often a**e*, ?In "#uth, I Am an* Infinite Being an* thus not
su+Bect to humanness.? .ith *iligent &#actice, this affi#mation hel&s to +#ea7 the i*entification with the ego fai#ly
#a&i*ly an* most &#ofoun*ly.
"hus, the way out of guilt is to #eali/e that no+o*y, inclu*ing one5s self, is to +lame fo# the inhe#ent limitations of the
ego. .ith the sim&le willingness to acce&t that the ego is im&e#sonal an* the#efo#e 5not my fault5, guilt ha&&ily
*issolves. Loo7ing +ac7 at &#io# mista7es, howeve# la#ge o# small, one sim&ly nee*s to #emem+e# that it was an
animal$ego that ma*e those mista7es an* not 5me5, the .itness.
4e#ha&s the ve#y co#e of masculine guilt has to *o with the guilt fo# having an ego to +egin with, along with having
such a ?*og$li7e? se> *#ive. In acce&ting that 5I5, the &e#son, *i* not c#eate the ego @no# is the ego 5who I am5A,
fo#giveness an* acce&tance a#e then automatic.
As fo# the 5ove#ly ho#ny5 male se> *#ive @i.e., animal lustA one nee*s to acce&t the e>istence of testoste#one itself.
2o# one thing, it is ce#tainly not easy to +e +o#n within an animal +o*y that is fille* with so much testoste#one on the
one han*, &lus the ina+ility to tell goo* f#om +a*, #ight f#om w#ong, an* t#ue ve#sus false on the othe#. "hat a
human male even manages to live long enough to wo##y a+out how he han*les his testoste#one is &#etty
mi#aculous. :eali/e that most men a#e not yet evolve* enough to even sta#t as7ing themselves such Huestions.
"hus, humility an* g#atitu*e auto$*issolve one5s guilt.
"H8 S8,)%"ION %OMM)NI"J
A few yea#s following high school, in o#*e# to com+at my fea#s, I em+a#7e* u&on the 5&athway of the intellect5 an*
+ecame involve* in the well$7nown 5online &ic7u& L *ating community5. I Huic7ly maste#e* eve#ything one can lea#n
in that a#ea, an* the a#t of 5&ic7u&5, 5*ating5 an* 5escalation5 +ecame somewhat easy. 2o# a few yea#s I even taught
&ic7u& wo#7sho&s an* enBoye* a ce#tain amount of wo#l*ly success an* semi$fame. Howeve#, I *iscove#e* fo#
myself that the 5&athway of the intellect5 has its a*vantages, +ut mo#e im&o#tantly, it contains a hi**en *ownfall o#
+lin* s&ot which is li7ely going to continue to go unnotice* within the 5se*uction community5 fo# many yea#s to
come.
"hat is, the 5&ic7u& community5 teachings a#e all +ase* on 5cause an* effect5, an* this naive ego9min* +lin* s&ot is
&#ecisely why all of those @often well$inten*e*A &ic7u& an* *ating teachings actually &#eclu*e9&#event9+loc7 the
awa#eness of Love itself.
Inasmuch as Love *oesn5t come f#om the intellect, +ut f#om 7un*alini ene#gy an* the#efo#e f#om the Sou#ce of Life
itself @i.e., f#om <o*A, in a sense, the mo#e one maste#s the intellectuali/e* fo#m of &ic7u&, *ating, escalation, an*
even #elationshi&s, the mo#e 5stuc75 one can +ecome.
"he t#ic7 is to +y&ass the intellect altogethe# an* su##en*e# to the 7un*alini inflow of S&i#itual Love. In this way,
the#e is no 5me5 &ic7ing u& a 5he#5. In othe# wo#*s, I am not the causal agent who s&ea7s to the woman, +ut instea*,
%onsciousness itself *oes all of the wo#7 of its own. It wo#7s s&ontaneously an* automaticallyG all I nee* to *o is
move out of its way +y gently #enouncing an* igno#ing my intellect an* ?letting the chi&s fall whe#e they may?
wheneve# I communicate with women.
"his &#o+a+ly soun*s li7e a 5+ig *eal5 o# some 7in* of im&ossi+le ninBa$level sec#et move, +ut t#uly it is not. It is
f#an7ly mo#e easy an* mo#e sim&le than anything else you can *o while communicating with womenI
It *oes ta7e a little &#actice an* a little faith in the +eginning, +ut the #esults an* #ewa#*s a#e so g#eat that they soon
+uil* an inne# t#ust. By lea#ning to t#ust the fiel* of %onsciousness to *o you# wo#7 fo# you, only then will you
com&#ehen* an* enBoy the a#t of healthy .omani/ing, t#uly. "he#e is no 5me5 that .omani/es E it sim&ly ha&&ens
s&ontaneously of its own. "he #ight things to say an* *o Bust flow out of me, an* actually often su#&#ise me, the
Silent .itness. As long as I, the .itness, can get ?Ste&hane? out of the way @i.e., the ego9min*9intellectA,
.omani/ing is easie# than +#eathing.
"o live this way, it is simila# to +eing high o# *#un7. Jou actually feel slightly *i//y an* light, not to mention, &#etty
*a#n fea#less.
A s&ontaneous humo# also &ou#s out of you, an* you #eali/e you *i*n5t have to thin7 a+out o# gene#ate any of it. It
is the only #eal way to liveI Acco#*ing to this w#ite#5s eyes, the vast maBo#ity of man7in* a#e somewhat *ea* o#
slee&ing, so to s&ea7. "hat is, the &#i*eful intellect un*ou+te*ly &#eclu*es9&#events9+loc7s the inflow of Life 8ne#gy
f#om flowing u& the s&ine, all ove# the hea*, an* +ac7 *own an* out the hea#t cente#, o# thymus glan*. So, the
wo#l* has to #ely on the animal$intellect an* t#ies to cont#ol eve#y instant of e>&e#iencing. .hat a *#ag it is to live
that wayI
"hat humans ma7e life a+out one thousan* times mo#e com&le> an* *ifficult than it nee*s to +e +ecomes &#etty
o+vious as one &#og#esses s&i#itually.
"he#e a#e things you can sta#t *oing #ight now to achieve this state. 2#an7ly, it is Huite easy to *o with even Bust a
little &#actice.
BJ4ASSIN< "H8 IN"8LL8%"
One sim&le techniHue is to slow *own you# movements to match the #ate an* s&ee* of an ol* man.
.itness the ol* man as he *#ives slow, wal7s slow, moves slow, an* s&ea7s... slowly... at his own... #ate... an*
s&ee*... in his own... time... when he5s... *amn goo* an* #ea*y to s&ea7.
.itness the ol* man at the su&e#ma#7et as he &ulls out his wallet to &ay the chec7out gi#l... so slowly... that it *#ives
eve#yone a little nuts, yet they can5t hel& +ut li7e the guy an* eve#yone fin*s him so cha#ming. 8ve#yone falls all
ove# themselves to wants an* se#ve him in some way.
In .omani/ing, the #ule of thum+ is sim&ly to move at you# #ate an* s&ee*, an* not at he# #ate an* s&ee*.
I feel the nee* to say this againK
Move at you# #ate an* s&ee*, an* not at he# #ate an* s&ee*.
Most men sna& thei# hea*s the ve#y moment a woman as7s them the time, an* then they sna& thei# hea*s *own to
thei# watches, then the hea* sna&s +ac7 u& to tell he# the *amn time. Jou5* thin7 the guy was t#ying to show off his
a+ility to +e s&ee*y, an* actually, on an unconscious ?loo7 at how al&ha I am? level, that is e>actly the case. Men
not only love to show off thei# intellect, +ut they also love to show off thei# s&ee* an* agility. )nfo#tunately, this is
ve#y often t#ans&a#ent to the woman who intuits the man5s un*e#lying *esi#e fo# he# a&&#oval. @8ven if she *oesn5t
*etect this consciously, she is often 5tu#ne* off5 on a su+conscious level, o# at least not as tu#ne* on as she coul*
+e if he we#e to Bust... slow... *own... to a significant *eg#ee.A
If you lea#n only one thing an* +egin to a&&ly it #ight away, it is this. Move at you# #ate an* s&ee*, an* not at he#
#ate an* s&ee*G slow you#self way *own. Not only *oes this lessen st#ess an* an>iety, +ut it soon lea*s to some
ve#y high states of consciousness$+liss that a#e in*esc#i+a+le in thei# sweetness.
In slowing *own, you5ll soon sta#t to #eceive much mo#e 7un*alini ene#gy, an* this will #esult in a state s&i#itual
teache#s often call call ?"he 4#esence.? .omen love "he 4#esence +ecause it heals them. .omen will often sta#t
slowing *own an* also going into semi$+liss states #ight along with youI Now, when a woman feels +liss @o# even
slight +lissA, I thin7 it goes without saying that you +ecome somewhat a**ictive to he#. @One must +e #es&onsi+le fo#
one5s +liss fo# it is a <ift an* not something to ?use on women? un*e# ina&&#o&#iate ci#cumstances.A
"he#e is a #ight way to slow *own, an* a w#ong way. "he w#ong way of slowing *own is to Bust #ea* these wo#*s
an* then sta#t slowing you#self *own in o#*e# to show women how al&ha one is. @"his is how the intellect$min*
coul* t#y to ta7e ove# this &#ocess.A
"he #ight way of slowing *own is +y ma7ing Love mo#e im&o#tant than anything else in the whole wo#l*. In fact,
when Love is mo#e im&o#tant than all othe# tem&ting, Buicy o&tions, you5ll slow *own natu#ally anyway.
SILLJ 8YAM4L8S
"o*ay I went to the sto#e to get a &ac7 of smo7es. "he#e we#e two counte# gi#ls, +oth of them #easona+ly cute, I5*
say. I allowe* myself to automatically an* s&ontaneously fall in Love with them. "his isn5t &e#sonal love, it isn5t
infatuation, an* it *oesn5t come f#om any &e#sonal self. It comes f#om the inflow of 7un*alini an* the#efo#e f#om
%onsciousness itself. All I can eve# *o is .itness it ha&&ening of its own. It loves women uncon*itionally.
I guess this soun*s a little s&oo7y +ut it #eally isn5t...
"his state is the most natu#al an* no#mal thing in the wo#l*, *es&ite its #a#ity. Li7e I sai*, one way to sta#t accessing
this Love state is to +egin moving slowly an* at you# #ate instea* of he#s. "a7e a little too long to *o eve#ything. Be
o&enly 5in love5 with the gi#l. Nothing else. Only Love actually matte#s o# has any value in this wo#l*. So this is the
un*e#lying attitu*e.
Now, I stoo* in line, an* when it was my tu#n, the gi#l as7e* me what I wante*, an* all I *i* was to loo7 at he#. I ha*
a slight smile, +ut it was mostly the eyes that smile*. @I often &#efe# to smile inwa#*ly #athe# than outwa#*ly.A She
imme*iately went into att#action. "hen, I 5sna&&e* out of it5 an* #e$ene#gi/e* my intellect. I sai*, ?<ive me a &ac7 of
YJ;$+#an* ciga#ettes, &lease? an* she tu#ne* to get them, an* tu#ne* +ac7 a#oun* to han* them to me. .hile she
*i* that, I hel* he# in total awa#eness. I *i*n5t loo7 at anything in &a#ticula#, I sim&ly hel* he# within my vision, li7e a
soft, gentle, unemotional ga/e @as has +een *esc#i+e* in &#evious a#ticlesA. She han*e* me the smo7es, an* it
too7 me a little too long to g#a+ them f#om he#. She foun* this Huite funny. .e +oth li7e* each othe# imme*iately.
She tol* me the &#ice, an* since I wasn5t #eally listening to he#, I sai*, ?HuhF? an* she smile* an* tol* me again. I
sai*, ?oh? an* han*e* he# the cash. She giggle* L +lushe* an* showe* me all the signs a gi#l shows a man when
she woul* *efinitely slee& with him without any hesitation. "hat too, ha&&ens s&ontaneously an* automatically of its
own.
"his Love fo# he# was not a se>uali/e* Love, no# was it 5mine5 to +egin with. "his isn5t &e#sonal love, it is Bust
S&i#itual Love. It *oesn5t ca#e much fo# wo#*s, sentences, names, times, &laces, an* othe# wo#l*ly *etails. It 7nows
only Love an* *oesn5t &ay much attention to anything else. In fact, conve#sations a#e a *#ag +ecause they #eHui#e a
ce#tain amount of intellect, an* acco#*ing to Love, the intellect is ta>ing an* actually Huite +o#ing. It woul* much
&#efe# to s7i& all the social stuff an* go #ight to +e*G although it isn5t +ase* in se>ual *esi#e, it *oesn5t e>actly have
an ave#sion to se>, eithe#. @"hen again, if the 4#esence #eaches a ce#tain *eg#ee, se> then +ecomes as &ointless
as an intellectual conve#sation as one ten*s to +ecome somewhat immo+ili/e* in ecstasy$+liss.A
As I wal7e* outsi*e an* &o&&e* a smo7e into my mouth, I #eali/e* I ha* no lighte# on me. "his state I5m in isn5t
g#eat at #emem+e#ing things eithe#... it #eally is ,ivine Stu&i*ity. But, the state *oesn5t nee* to #emem+e# things
+ecause eve#ything it nee*s ten*s to show u& automatically of its own. So I loo7e* u& an* two women we#e
stan*ing the#e, smo7ing a ciga#ette. I wal7e* ove# to them an* sai*, ?%an I have a lightF? Now, what is also
im&o#tant to mention #ight now is my voice inflection *i* not go u& on the wo#* ?lightF? such as the ave#age man5s
inflection ten*s to go )4 wheneve# he as7s a woman his Huestion. No# *i* my inflection go *own, which coul*
&otentially in*icate a con*escen*ing tone an* the#efo#e machismo. "he voice *i*n5t #ise no# fall. I guess this
soun*s li7e a little insignificant *etail yet it is fa# f#om that. Instant att#action was the #esult, yet they +oth seeme*
Huite insecu#e an* we#e moving too Huic7ly an* loo7ing *own too often, an* insecu#ity is often a sign of *ange#,
f#an7ly, so I than7e* them an* was on my way.
One fai#ly #a&i* way to achieve this state, as I5ve mentione*, is to move ve#y slowly. .hateve# a woman says o#
*oes, ta7e a little too much time to #es&on*. "he t#uth is, the 4#esence Loves he#, so +ecome One with that Love
an* *on5t t#y to hi*e itG *#o& you# ,enial @i.e., intellectA. Soften you# ga/e, allow you# &u&ils to *ilateG &e#ha&s Life is
su&&ose* to +e this way. Life is su&&ose* to +e Boyful an* not too intellectual. "he ave#age man has eve#ything
+ac7wa#*s @it is astoun*ing to see thisA.
.hat I have Bust *esc#i+e* may soun* ove#ly sim&listic. It is actually something I have taught men fo# many yea#s,
+ut I *ou+t even one man has t#ie* it fo# mo#e than a cou&le minutes. "he min* ten*s to *ismiss that which is t#uly
&owe#ful in favo# of the mun*ane. It &#efe#s &ic7u& lines ove# eve#ything else. It is constantly sea#ching fo# ?what5s
missingF? yet what I have Bust lai* out he#e thus fa# in to*ay5s a#ticle is &e#ha&s the fun*amental 7ey to
.omani/ing. "he suggestion is to #ea* ove# the a+ove section one mo#e time, an* to &ut it into &#actice #ight away.
8>&ect a little #esistance f#om the ego9min*. It wants to *o eve#ything Huic7ly, an* it loves to *o twenty things
simultaneously. It wants to s&ee* th#ough t#affic lights while tal7ing on the cell&hone an* listening to the #a*io while
thin7ing a+out &o#n. It ta7es constant @an* gentleA #emin*e#s to switch gea#s an* lea#n to live li7e a slowe* *own,
chille* out, ;en Maste#.
NON$18:BAL 4I%=)4
4e#ha&s one of the +est ways to initiate a &ic7u& is to a&&#oach women f#om a si*e angle, an* Bust ga/e u&on he#
@o# them, &lu#alA f#om the si*e of you# eyes, li7e soK
@I #eali/e this image is not of a man, +ut it was the +est e>am&le of a si*eways glance I coul* fin* online.A
"hat 7in* of facial e>&#ession an* si*eways glance is often the +est a&&#oach.
.itness gi#ls go a+solutely hyste#ical ove# this. It is +ecause the si*eways glace
is o&enly loving them an* chec7ing them out, +ut not in an intimi*ating o# lustful
7in* of way. "he si*eways glance is an innocent &oise. It enBoys what it sees,
+ut *oesn5t e>&ect anything in #etu#n. It is f#ee f#om nee*iness o# *esi#e, an*
the#e is the#efo#e nothing fo# the woman to #esist. If the gi#l @o# gi#ls, &lu#alA o&en
u& o# not is #eally immate#ialG the si*eways glance is sim&ly enBoying thei#
feminine +eauty fo# the &u#e sa7e of enBoying thei# feminine +eauty. It *oesn5t
often t#igge# #eBection o# #esentment, +ut gently o&ens women ve#y consistently
an* without un*ue effo#t. "he si*eways glance is o&en an* invitational, #athe#
than conf#ontive an* &#i*eful.
It is &e#ha&s the +est non$ve#+al o&ene# I 7now of, an* women ten* to e>&lo*e
o&en when I *o this. "hey *on5t always o&en, +ut it is a nice 5#is7 f#ee5 way of
o&ening them. Jou Bust o&enly @an* casuallyA enBoy thei# +eauty f#om you#
si*eways glance an* let the chi&s fall whe#e they may. .hen they a#e #ece&tive,
all you *o is tu#n in to face them. "he +eauty of this is you *on5t even have to
say anything. Cust #emain in you# state of ,ivine Stu&i*ityI
If you5ve Bust o&ene* a g#ou& of gi#ls, the t#ic7 is to give each an* eve#y single one of those gi#ls a little +it of eye
contact, eHually. <ive a+out th#ee secon*s to each one of them, an* Bust enBoy thei# +eauty, nothing mo#e. If you
want to s&ea7, that5s al#ight too, +ut 7ee& it sim&le. @I will e>&lain why late# on in this &#og#am.A
If you o&en a woman who is +y he#self using the si*eways glance, it is all the same. One woman o# si> women, it is
lite#ally all the same. "his, you lea#n f#om &u+lic s&ea7ing. If the au*ience contains one &e#son o# one hun*#e*
&eo&le, it is all the same. Cust give each &e#son a little eye contact @two o# th#ee secon*sA to let them 7now you
ca#e an* a#e ha&&y they 8>ist. If they want to listen to you intently o# fall aslee& while you tal7, it is all the same.
Jou5#e Bust ha&&y they showe* u&. Simila#ly, if the woman is o&en an* f#ien*ly, g#eat. If she is vicious, #u*e, an*
col*, same thing. .hateve# a woman says o# *oes is #eally immate#ialG I5m Bust gla* they 8>ist.
Jou only nee* to +e ha&&y that women 8>ist, an* show them you# ha&&iness o&enly, f#eely, innocently, an*
honestly. It can +e a non$ve#+al showing, an* actually, &e#ha&s it shoul* +e much mo#e non$ve#+al than ve#+al.
.omen +#ing a lot of Boy into ou# lives, an* in fact, if the#e we#e no women a#oun* I woul* Bust commit suici*e.
12. )nveiling "he 8go5s Hat#e*9:esentment Of .omen
"o*ay we5#e going to switch gea#s a little an* *iscuss the hat#e* an* #esentment of women. Not you#s, of cou#se,
+ut let5s tal7 a+out othe# &eo&le5s hat#e* an* #esentment. In fact, let5s not even tal7 a+out othe# ?&eo&le?, +ut
instea*, let5s get to the ve#y co#e of the matte# an* *iscuss the ego5s hat#e*s an* Buicy #esentments towa#*
women...
"he testoste#one$ene#gi/e* ego in man c#ies, ?.hy a#e women so com&licate*F .hy won5t they Bust su+mit to my
cont#ol an* get na7e* with meF How unfai#I?
I5ve neve# met an ego who *i*n5t hate an* #esent women to a ce#tain *eg#ee. In Al$anon, the fi#st ste& has to *o
with a*mitting one has a &#o+lem. So let5s ta7e a moment to ac7nowle*ge that the ego ve#y innocently, an* ve#y
naively, hol*s much #esentment towa#* women. It is im&o#tant to *e&e#sonali/e thisG the ego isn5t 5you5 +ut an
im&e#sonal collection of memo#ies, *ata, an* &#og#ams which a#e innate to animals an* human$animals ali7e.
.hen seen fo# what it is, the 5ego5 is Bust an ela+o#ate se#ies of o&inions, an* Bustifications fo# clinging onto those
o&inions. "he so$calle* 5ego5 isn5t #ealG it is Bust a useful way of tal7ing a+out the im&e#sonal human self5s softwa#e
&#og#amming. Jou5ll fin* that I #emin* you of this Huite often +ecause it *oes ta7e constant #emin*e#s fo# this c#itical
lesson to 5sin7 in5 on eve#$*ee&e# levels. "hus, each an* eve#y single #emin*e# +uil*s u&on the last, allowing mo#e
Light to flow in each *ay. @8ventually, one loo7s +ac7 an* is astoun*e* +y how much inne# awa7ening has
occu##e*.A
It is only necessa#y to sto& i*entifying with this 5ego self5 an* calling it 5me5 o# 5who I am5. .ith the inne# *ecision to
sto& calling it 5me5, it slowly *issolves in *ue time. It is then &#og#essively #e&lace* +y &u#e %onsciousness o#
=nowingness. "he ego$self *oesn5t lea#n to Love on its own +ut su##en*e#s to Love an* *ies fo# Love. So,
8nlightene* .omani/ing is &#etty #omantic, ye&.
.ith the a+ove in min* an* in hea#t, consi*e# the following...
NNNO)8S"ION 2:OM A :8A,8:NNN
Hi Ste&hane L <#eta,
I have +een #ea*ing you# newslette#s fo# some time an* enBoy them ve#y much. I have a g#eat woman in my life
an* we have a g#eat #elationshi& with g#eat se> E she is Huite the 7itten at times. I thin7 the &#o+lem is with me E I
thin7 I am sta#ting to hate women inte#nally. My @now e>A wife left me in 200- an* stole my chil*#en, who I am still
fighting in cou#t fo#. I am also &aying su+stantial chil* su&&o#t with mo#e cou#t +attles to come. It ma7es it ha#* to
7ee& going. "he &#o+lem is I see all this +ias in the cou#t an* feminist &#o&agan*a in the me*ia an* at wo#7 an*
elsewhe#e an* I am Bust sta#ting to hate women.
My cu##ent gi#l is tal7ing +a+ies an* ma##iage an* houses an* it Bust chu#ns me u& insi*e. I tol* he# to sto& *oing
this an* that she will &ush me away +ut it 7ee&s coming, they a#e ve#y &e#sistent. Sometimes I feel li7e #unning
away. It *oes not hel& that sho#tly +efo#e the e> left I ha* a vasectomy so can5t have 7i*s now anyway @well, not
without me*ical science anywayA.
I *on5t want to +e a s&e#m *ono# an* I *on5t want to +e some woman5s wallet. How *o I silence the cu##ent gi#l5s
+leatingsF
Shoul* I hate women in this wayF 8ve#y time I see some woman *#iving a#oun* +eing a housewife I get &isse* off
that I have to wo#7 an* they *on5t. "hey seem to have thei# ca7e an* ou#s too. Now they a#e setting u& a 5women5s
netwo#75 at wo#7 which the women thin7 is g#eat $ they want to +e the e>ecutives an* manage#s an* let the men *o
the low &ai* *i#ty wo#7.
I live in a welfa#e state an* get none of it. I &ay ta>es an* chil* su&&o#t on to&. I feel seve#ely stuc7. How *o I sto&
my hat#e* fo# one &a#ticula# woman f#om ove#flowing onto all women, yet still co&e with the noticea+le +leatings of
the ones that a#en5t my e>F
"han7 you +oth fo# any hel&.
Seve#ely "a>e*, %.
PPP%OMM8N"SK
"his gentleman can only s&ea7 in this manne# +ecause he is still ve#y i*entifie* with his ego$&et o# ego$self. "hus,
he lives in a state of nea#ly continuous &e#ce&tual illusion. Li7e the maBo#ity of man7in*, &e#ha&s nea#ly eve#ything
he says, feels, an* *oes in the wo#l* a#ises out of o&inion$illusions an* not facts.
Analogously, the act of &e#ce&tion itself can +e com&a#e* to ta7ing a small, limite* sna&shot in time an* &lace of
only small, select f#agments of an 5event5. "he ego then clings to the sna&shot, calls it 5my5 sna&shot @it then
+ecomes 5im&o#tant5A, an* falls in love with the sna&shot. "he ego loves its own limite* &e#ce&tual illusions, in*ee*.
1e#y often it will actually cling to utte#ly fallacious i*eas o# 5sna&shots5 to such a *eg#ee that it actually lea*s itself
an* millions of othe#s to thei# own *eath an* *est#uction.
S&i#itual 1ision, on the othe# han*, is ve#y *iffe#ent f#om &e#ce&tual 5sna&shots5 in that it *oesn5t ta7e limite* little
&hotos of anything. It is f#ee f#om o&inion$memo#y. "he came#a sim&ly #emains on at all times an* in all situations
an* *oesn5t select any one thing in &a#ticula#. 1ision is inclusive of the "otality of %onte>t. %ont#astingly, &e#ce&tion
is limite* to tiny little *isto#te* f#agments of content.
%HIL,ISH INNO%8N%8
"houghts a#e inhe#ently chil*ish. "he one who thin7s an en*less se#ies of thoughts is #eally a chil* a**icte* to
watching ca#toons. "he ca#toons a#e not #eal, an* it is chil*ish to cling to that which is not #eal. "hus, most humans
a#e still in the chil* level of *evelo&ment.
Most &eo&le a#e hy&noti/e* +y thei# thoughts to such a *eg#ee that they #a#ely eve# e>&e#ience the 8te#nal Now,
+ut me#ely wal7 a#oun* tal7ing to one5s self an* watching visual ca#toons, so to s&ea7. 4e#ha&s it can +e state*
that the co#e unconscious &u#&ose of mentali/ation has to *o with *isto#ting most of life into a hy&othetical
?&#o+lem.? @"he ego9min* is +ase* on 5victimhoo*5 an* ten*s to ?ma7e &#o+lems out of eve#ything? to su&&o#t its
co#e +elief.A
"H8 MIN, IS A 4:OBL8M
Let us ta7e the e>am&le of a man who is af#ai* to a&&#oach women. In his min*, he imagines getting #eBecte* an*
humiliate* to an immo+ili/ing *eg#ee. "he sim&le act of a&&#oaching a woman to fin* out what she is li7e then
+ecomes a huge ?&#o+lem?, yet in :eality, &#o+lems *o not e>ist. "#uth an* :eality a#e locate* in the e>act s&lit
secon* moment of the eme#ging 8te#nal Now. Only ?now? is #eal. 8ve#ything othe# than ?now? lac7s Integ#ity
+ecause it is imagina#y an* not #eal. 4#o+lems a#e only e>&e#ience* in one5s imagination an* not in :eality.
"o use a silly e>am&le, in o#*e# to a&&#oach a woman, a man must +egin +y wal7ing ove# to he#. Su#ely the act of
wal7ing is not a ?&#o+lem.?
Ne>t, he must communicate with he# in some sim&le way, such as saying, ?Hey? o# ?Hello? an* then &ausing to wait
fo# he# #es&onse. Su#ely the act of saying hello an* &ausing fo# a cou&le of secon*s is not a *ange# o# a ?&#o+lem.?
"hen, he must listen to he# ve#+al #es&onse an* note he# +o*y$language as she #e&lies to *ete#mine if she is
o&en9#ece&tive97in* to him o# not. She will eithe# +e #ece&tive, o# not #ece&tive. 4e#ha&s the wo#se thing she can *o
is to sla& him ac#oss the face an* have him th#own in Bail fo# se>ual assault.
As he# han* t#avels th#ough the ai#, this man has no ?&#o+lem.? A han* is me#ely t#aveling th#ough the ai# towa#*
his face. As she st#i7es him, the#e is still no ?&#o+lem? +ut sim&ly a han* that is me#ely touching a face fo# a s&lit
secon*. As the &ain of the sla& a#ises in his chee7, no ?&#o+lem? e>ists. Only a sensation is e>&e#ience*.
Ne>t, as she s&its u&on his face, the saliva flies th#ough the ai# an*... No ?&#o+lem? e>ists. Only innocent saliva. As
it s&lashes u&on his face, still no #eal ?&#o+lem? e>ists. "he saliva nee* only +e wi&e* off. "his ta7es him a total of
two secon*sG it is ha#*ly a &#o+lemI
As the &olicemen a#e on thei# way to &ic7 him u&... no &#o+lem e>ists. He is me#ely stan*ing the#e, awaiting thei#
a##ival.
As he ente#s the &olice ca#, the#e is no &#o+lem. Only a +o*y ente#ing a ca#. 4e#ha&s he woul* even welcome a
comfo#ta+le &lace to sit an* #ela> his legs fo# a while. Afte# all, he ha* to wal7 ove# to that woman ea#lie# an* say
hello...
As the &olicemen *#ive him to the &olice station, no &#o+lems can +e foun* anywhe#e...
As they esco#t him to his &#ison cell an* st#a& him *own into the elect#ic chai#, the man is me#ely sitting in a
*iffe#ent chai# f#om the one in the &olice ca#... No &#o+lem e>ists. "his new chai# might even +e mo#e comfo#ta+le
than the one he sat in &#eviouslyI Ne>t, as elect#icity &asses th#ough his +o*y, the man instantly sna&s out of the
*ying +o*y an* watches it f#y.
He is then f#ee of the +o*y an* in a &lace whe#e, still, no &#o+lems e>ist.
48:%84"ION IS A 4:OBL8M, B)" "O"ALI"J IS 4:OBL8M$2:88
4e#ha&s the easiest an* most #a&i* way out of so$calle* ?&#o+lems? is to shift the focus away f#om one5s thoughts
an* into the totality of conte>t. "his is simila# to wi*ening the lens of a came#a so that it inclu*es the whole
)nive#se. In this way, the 8te#nal Now is locate* an* natu#ally su##en*e#e* to.
Now, the ve#y fi#st thing in A.A. is to a*mit that one in*ee* has an a**iction, an* to also a*mit that without the hel&
of a Highe# 4owe# @i.e., <o*A one is *oome* to #emain stuc7 fo#eve#. In this way, one +ecomes willing to wi*en the
lens, an* in so *oing, one +ecomes mo#e an* mo#e awa#e of "otal %onte>t. @<o* an* %onte>t a#e one an* the
same thingG <o* is the )ltimate %onte>t in which all silly humans &#i*efully *ance.A "hus, without the &owe# of
conte>t, the#e lite#ally is no ho&e fo# a genuine healing to occu#. One nee* only shift one5s focus away f#om the
c#eation of mentali/e* ?&#o+lems? an* into the "otality of one5s su##oun*ings in the now. 4#o+lems then auto$
*issolve.
"he ultimate @an* onlyA a**iction is that of thin7ingness itself, fo# it lea*s one into the lan* of imagina#y &#o+lems.
All human suffe#ing comes f#om thoughts. .hen thoughts a#e #e&lace* +y silent +liss, suffe#ing ceases. "he way
?out? of the a**iction of thin7ingness is to sim&ly *o something else instea*G to focus one5s attention on the 8te#nal
Now. Again, &e#ha&s the easiest way to *o this is to shift one5s attention away f#om content @i.e., thoughtsA an* into
the total conte>t @i.e., &e#i&he#al visionA.
H8ALIN< IS 8ASJ
"o shift f#om content to conte>t, it is only necessa#y to a*mit the t#uth that you own an ego, you a#e #es&onsi+le fo#
an ego, +ut you a#e not that ego. "he ego is an 5it5 an* not a 5me5. "his essentially 5me#ges5 you into the conte>t.
Jou 5+ecome5 the conte>t, which is not *iffe#ent f#om the Silent .itness.
.ith the sim&le willingness to &#actice .itnessing, we come to see that it isn5t 5the me5 that is ang#y an* #esenting
of women, +ut the ego. @Notice how this ta7es ca#e of guilt.A ?It isn5t M8 that hates women, it5s Bust an ego *oing
what it is 5su&&ose*5 to *oI?
BamI
"his +#ea7s the i*entification with the ego$self o# animal$self an* &laces you in the &osition of the Silent .itness, o#
%onte>t. Suffe#ing &#og#essively *issolves an* glo#ious 7un*alini$+liss g#a*ually ta7es its &lace. "hat one eve#
counte* on the silly ego$min* fo# ha&&iness seems li7e a sa* Bo7eG the nightma#e of human life t#ansfo#ms into a
*elightful silent Boy of such an eno#meous &owe# that is not &ossi+le to even imagine. .omani/ing is then seen fo#
what it t#uly is, which is a way of sha#ing the Boy of one5s aliveness with a woman. @It is e>&e#ience* as +eing Huite
lite#ally as sim&le as +#eathing.A
%ONS"AN" :848"I"ION
"his *oes ta7e constant #emin*ing, though, +ut only fo# a while. One Bust has to &#actice choosing Love instea* of
thoughtsI One sim&ly lea#ns to value, an* t#ust, Silence itself. "his love of silence *ee&ens one i*entification with
the Silent .itness Huite #a&i*lyG it is only necessa#y to value silence an* &eace a+ove noise, chatte#, an* st#ess.
8ventually, the .itnessing of the ego$self +ecomes automatic an* ve#y easy. St#ess +ecomes a thing of the &ast,
an* Love #e&laces all wo##y. 8ssentially, all s&i#itual wo#7 is the lea#ning an* constant #e&etition of only ON8 c#itical
t#uth, namely, ?In "#uth, I am the Silent .itness an* not a silly human animal.? 8ve#ything is *esigne* to continually
#einfo#ce this ON8 t#uth, ove# an* ove#, until it stic7s. 8ve#y ste& fo#wa#* +uil*s momentum an* ma7es the futu#e
ste&s easie# an* easie# as one &#og#esses...
So, why is it so *ifficult to lea#n only ON8 thingF
It is the sec#et &leasu#a+le satisfaction we get out of &#eten*ing to +e human ego5s. Although humans ten* to
lament +eing human an* suffe#ing so nee*lessly, they a#e also 5in love5 with it. Jou coul* say that humans have a
love9hate #elationshi& with the ego.
Humans a#e in*ee* the ultimate wal7ing cont#a*ictions. "he ego is +uilt on cont#a*ictions an* en*less conflict. .ith
only a little o+se#vation, we come to see that the ego is #eally Bust a sto#ehouse of o&inions which ten* to conflict
with one anothe#, +oth within the min* an* with society in gene#al. "hus, a conflict ?out the#e? is often me#ely the
mi##o#$#eflection of an inte#nal conflict.
"o get out of hate an* #esentment, it is necessa#y to give u& the sec#et &leasu#a+le satisfaction we *e#ive f#om it. It
is #athe# easy to see that the ego actually loves to hate. Now again, it is me#ely the ego$self that gets &leasu#e an*
satisfaction f#om hating. It is Bust an innocent animal an* sim&ly ?*oing its Bo+?, so to s&ea7. It lea#ne* to hate
enemies as a su#vival tool, that5s all. "he#e5s no nee* to feel any guilt a+out it, afte# all, you we#e +o#n with an ego
an* no+o*y tol* you that it isn5t who you a#e. @Jou# &a#ents we#e li7ely not ;en Maste#s.A
"he min* offe#s us a se#ies of o&tions fo# us to choose f#om. .ith the willingness to a*mit that hat#e* itself is fun,
Buicy, &leasu#a+le, an* +#ings g#eat na#cissistic satisfaction, along with the willingness to see the innocence of the
ego an* &e#ha&s even laugh a+out it, the only ?*oing? that is #eally nee*e* is to give u& the &leasu#e of #esentment
an* hat#e*. "hus, one *oesn5t nee* to 5*o5 something a+out the glee of hate, +ut me#ely nee*s to choose silence
an* &eace.
<LO:IO)S 8"8:NAL SIL8N%8
4e#ha&s the ego5s favo#ite game to &lay is ?oh, &oo# me.?
One nee* only see its victimhoo* &atte#ns an* choose Love instea* of all othe# tem&ting an* Buicy o&tions. Love is
locate* within the silent, em&ty s&ace su##oun*ing one5s thoughts, as well as Bust a+out eve#ywhe#e in the wo#l*.
"hat a stunning 66D of e>istence is silent at all times +ecomes o+vious as one chooses to focus on silence instea*
of noise @e.g., the s7y is silent, chai#s a#e silent, s7in an* +ones a#e silent, coffee +eans a#e silent, an* a woman5s
+#easts a#e utte#ly silent an* &eaceful, in*ee*A.
As7 you#self, ?.hat silence am I not yet noticing #ight nowF? "he wo#shi& of <o* is the wo#shi& of Silence.
"H8 ,ISSO%IA"I18 :84H:ASIN< "8%HNIO)8
In o#*e# to get off ,enial an* see the t#uth a+out the ego sec#etly enBoying the &leasu#es of hat#e*, envy, an*
#esentment, it is ve#y useful to change one5s language &atte#ns so that they mo#e closely tie in with :eality an*
"#uth. "he#efo#e, I5m going to e*it the a+ove ?Ouestion 2#om A :ea*e#? so that it is mo#e in alignment with the t#uth
a+out the human ego, namely, that it is an innocent an* naive animal which sec#etly loves to &#eten* that it is a
victim.
I will e*it9#e&h#ase the #ea*e#5s o#iginal email in such a way that clea#ly e>&oses the ego5s sec#et &leasu#a+le
satisfactions in &laying the game of 5victimhoo*5, an* I will also a** *issociative language &atte#ns so as to +#ea7
the i*entification with the ego @e.g., 5the ego5 instea* of 5me5 o# 5I5A.
He#e goesK
NNN"H8 :8A,8:S O)8S"ION, 8,I"8, AN, :84H:AS8,NNN
Hi Ste&hane L <#eta,
I thin7 the &#o+lem is with my ego $ I thin7 it is sta#ting to hate women inte#nally. My @now e>A wife left me in 200-
an* stole the chil*#en which +elong to <o* an* not me, who my ego is still fighting in cou#t fo#. "he ego$animal$self
is also &aying su+stantial chil* su&&o#t with mo#e cou#t +attles to come. It ma7es it ha#* to 7ee& going, +ut sec#etly,
my ego is getting off on this Buicy *#ama. "he &#o+lem is the ego loves to &e#ceive all this +ias in the cou#t an*
feminist &#o&agan*a in the me*ia an* at wo#7 an* elsewhe#e an* it is +ecoming ve#y s7ille* at choosing to hate
women, an* loving it. "he glee of hat#e* is *own#ight a**ictive an* hel&s the ego hol* on to its illusion that it is a
victim.
My ego5s cu##ent gi#l is tal7ing +a+ies an* ma##iage an* houses an* it Bust chu#ns my ego u& insi*eG it loves to feel
t#a&&e* an* to com&lain a+out feeling t#a&&e*. My ego$self tol* he# to sto& +eing a feminine woman an* that she
will ?&ush me away? +ut it 7ee&s coming, women a#e ve#y &e#sistent when it comes to +eing e>actly what they a#e
su&&ose* to +e, an* my ego loves insisting that they can +e *iffe#ent than they a#e an* getting involve* in t#ying to
change an* cont#ol them. It loves to &lay <o*. Sometimes my ego$self feels li7e #unning awayG it loves to feel li7e a
t#a&&e* victim +ecause then it gets to com&lain an* feel su&e#io# to women. OH MJI How it loves to feel 5a+ove5
women an* loo7 *own on themI It *oes not hel& that sho#tly +efo#e the e> left my ego$self 5meat$&u&&et5 ha* a
vasectomy so it can5t have 7i*s anymo#e @well, not without me*ical science anywayA. Sec#etly, the ego set this
whole thing u& so that it coul* lament this ve#y issue late# on an* Buice it +y com&laining a+out how 5unfai#5 life is.
So, the ego$self chose the vasectomy 7nowing full$well that it woul*n5t +e with that woman fo# much longe# an* that
it woul* en* u& +athing in Buicy #eg#et an* so##ow.
My ego$&et *oesn5t want to +e a s&e#m *ono# an* *oesn5t want to +e some woman5s wallet. ?How *o I silence the
cu##ent gi#l5s +leatingsF? it as7s. Since the ego lac7s Love, it can only thin7 of those two o&tions E the s&e#m *ono#
an* the walletI My, how it loves to cling to those two &e#ce&tual limitationsI It loves to *eny of the Love of <o* in
favo# of victimhoo*.
Shoul* it hate women in this wayF 8ve#y time it sees some woman ha&&ily +eing a housewife it loves to get &isse*
off that it has to wo#7 an* they *on5t. Acco#*ing to it5s limite*, igno#ant, cowa#*ly &e#ce&tual filte#s, women seem to
have thei# ca7e an* ou#s too. Now they a#e setting u& a 5women5s netwo#75 at wo#7 which the women thin7 is g#eat
E they want to +e the e>ecutives an* manage#s an* let the men *o the low &ai* *i#ty wo#7. "his is the only intention
that my ego sees +ecause sec#etly, it loves to thin7 women a#e Bust 5man eating feminists5 an* 5+all+uste#s5. "he
ego loves to +e &a#anoi*.
"he ego$self ve#y much enBoys living in a welfa#e state an* not collecting any welfa#e fo# itselfG it then gets to feel
that it is 5mo#ally su&e#io#5 to eve#yone else. It &ays ta>es an* chil* su&&o#t on to& of this, an* it loves to *o e>actly
what it is choosing to *o. It feels seve#ely stuc7. How *o I sto& its hat#e* fo# one &a#ticula# woman f#om ove#flowing
onto all women, yet still co&e with the noticea+le +leatings of the ones that a#en5t my e>F
"han7 you +oth fo# any hel&.
Seve#ely "a>e*, %.
PPP%OMM8N"SK
<iving u& hate, #esentment, an* ange# is li7e giving u& a favo#ite a**ictive *#ug. In fact, whole count#ies actually
live fo# hat#e*, getting even, #evenge, an* violence.
"he way out of hate @an* into fo#givenessA is to #eali/e that &eo&le cannot +e *iffe#ent than they a#e at any given
moment. 8ven the se#ial 7ille# is *oing the ve#y +est he can with his &#esent$*ay level of consciousness an*
associate* +#ain chemist#y. A*mit the t#uth, fo# e>am&le, ?Ha* I +een +o#n with the same level of conscious
awa#eness an* +#ain &hysiology as the se#ial 7ille#, I woul* +e a ha&&y little +loo*thi#sty 7ille# myself? o# ?Ha* I
+een +o#n as a female at any given level of consciousness, I woul* also +ehave in the ve#y same unfo#tunate ways
ce#tain women +ehave in.? In stating the t#uth, one #e&laces &#i*e9*enial with the humility an* g#atitu*e that one
has the inc#e*i+ly goo* fo#tune of +eing a+le to choose to live a life that is 5u& he#e5 instea* of 5way *own the#e5.
.heneve# #esentment, Bu*gmentalism, o# hat#e* a#ises, gently #emin* you# ego$self that &eo&le cannot +e *iffe#ent
than they a#e. "he wo#l* is com&ose* of si> +illion ego5s Bust *oing what the ego is su&&ose* to +e *oing E hunting,
7illing, se>uali/ing, com&laining, suffe#ing, an* sec#etly loving eve#y single moment of its silly animal life. Stan*
+ac7 an* O+se#ve98nBoy9.itness the come*y show. Sym&athy *oesn5t ?&#ove? that you ca#e a+out an* love
&eo&le, it shows only wea7ness an* &#i*eful 5mo#al su&e#io#ity5. %om&assion is the #efusal to suffe#, com+ine* with
the acce&tance that othe#s a#e f#ee to suffe# as &a#t of thei# own evolutiona#y &#og#ession. "he Light of <o* shines
at va#ying *eg#ees th#ough the eyes of all His meat$&u&&ets.
"o successfully .omani/e, it is c#itical an* necessa#y to get off Bu*ging women +y #ecalling ove# an* ove# again
that women cannot +e *iffe#ent than they a#e at any given moment. "he man who Bu*ges women *oes not have the
+enefit of loving them no# ma7ing love to them as he t#ansmits an invisi+le f#eHuency which #esults in an
unconscious ave#sion in the woman. @She then says, ?"hat guy was c#ee&y? an* *oesn5t 7now why she felt so
?c#ee&e* out.?A
"he man who *oesn5t &#o&e#ly .omani/e is often a man who sec#etly hates women, an* also sec#etly loves to
Buice the hat#e* itself. It is im&o#tant to ac7nowle*ge this +y sim&ly #eali/ing that this &#og#amming is #eally Bust the
human ego$self an* not one5s t#ue S&i#it9Self9.itness. "his is what then ma7es it &ossi+le fo# someone to see how
the ego #eally *oes innocently gain sec#et &leasu#a+le satisfaction out of hate an* #esentment without going into
guilt a+out it no# into sym&athy with it.
4:A%"I%)M
"o ove#come ?&#o+lems? one has to +e willing to a*mit the t#uth that one is not the ego, an* that the ego innocently
loves to tu#n eve#ything into a &#o+lem. S&en* some time to*ay, noticing how you# min* auto$tu#ns eve#ything into
a ?&#o+lem?, an* use the affi#mation, ?<o* solves all of my &#o+lems fo# me in *ue time.? "hat way, you5ll #ef#ain
f#om getting 5suc7e* in5 +y the whole &#o+lem$an*$solutions game of the ego.
?<o* solves ALL of my &#o+lems fo# me in *ue time.?
As soon as the#e is a wo##y a+out a &#o+lem, let it go imme*iately an* #e&eat this affi#mation li7e a +#o7en #eco#*.
Let you# &#i*e *ie fo# <o* +y sim&ly .itnessing the min* in action.
.ith humility, it +ecomes #athe# o+vious that the min* is me#ely a sto#ehouse of o&inions. Most thoughts a#e #eally
nothing mo#e than o&inions, an* all o&inions a#e +ase* u&on incom&lete f#agments of *isto#te* *ata which seems
#eal. .itness the innocent come*y of the naive human who5s min* invents silly &#o+lems an* then f#antically
sea#ches the memo#y +an7s fo# solutions to those &#o+lems. "he man is essentially a chil* watching ca#toons in his
hea*, is he notF
"he sim&le statement, ?<o* solves all of my &#o+lems fo# me in *ue time? is an act of *ee& humility fo# it
ac7nowle*ges that &#o+lems a#e me#ely +ase* u&on limite* &e#ce&tion an* the #esulting o&inions. It *oes,
howeve#, ta7e g#eat cou#age to *evelo& faith in ,ivinity to such an e>tent that one is willing to ?sto& watching
ca#toons all the time? an* Bust 8>ist in the he#e an* now. "his &#actice may often #esult in a 5fla#e* u&5 feeling in the
sola#$&le>us, which is often a sign that one5s level of consciousness9awa#eness is in the ve#y &#ocess of #ising to a
highe# levelI
"he#efo#e, +e willing to en*u#e the *iscomfo#t as +est you can, an* &lease +e &atient with you# animal ego$self as
you allow you# faith in <o* to g#ow st#onge# with this sim&le *ecla#ative affi#mation. Sola#$&le>us 5fla#e u&s5 a#e
common on the &athway to highe# awa#eness, an* although they a#e uncomfo#ta+le, they soon g#a*ually *isa&&ea#
an* a#e #e&lace* +y g#eate# 7un*alini inflow as well as emotionless Love, Coy, an* Bliss. Mo#eove#, o&inions a#e
#e&lace* +y a silent inne# =nowingness, fo# the fiel* of consciousness =nows All +y vi#tue of Being All.
Afte# the affi#mation, ?<o* solves all of my &#o+lems fo# me in *ue time? t#y loo7ing$see7ing$listening$sea#ching
intently fo# Silence.
1!. ,oing 1e#sus Being
In the lowe# levels of conscious awa#eness, life is all a+out what it is that you want, *esi#e, have, o+tain, get,
acHui#e, an* &ossess. Life is +ase* on na#cissistic &#i*e an* selfish gainG it is &u#ely mate#ialistic an* +ase* on
linea# content an* fo#m. 8ven an innocent woman +ecomes #e*uce* to a 5thing5 to &ossess an* 5show off5 to all of
the othe# male animal ego5s. A woman is seen as a lust o+Bect to +e use* an* cont#olle* fo# selfish &u#&oses @in
a+out '-D of human7in*A. Life is &u#ely selfish in the lowe# levels.
As consciousness evolves to the ne>t level, life is then all a+out what it is that you *o.
Although having a +ig house an* a shiny gi#lf#ien* a#e nice, the ego *iscove#s that in an* of themselves, having
5things5 @an* the &ossession of womenA only lea* to &leasu#e an* not t#ue Ha&&iness. %onseHuently, life evolves
into mo#e of a 5*oingness5 #athe# than a 5havingness5. "he Huality of one5s life is seen in #elation to how s&ecifically
one s&en*s each moment of the *ay. At this level, success is +ase* u&on the *evelo&ment of one5s activities such
as communication, ca#ee#, t#avel, ho++ies, e*ucation, an* mo#e. "he human ego at this level loves to thin7 of itself
as 5going &laces5 an* 5getting somewhe#e5 an* 5accom&lishing goals5 an* 5living the life of my *#eams5. Life +ecomes
li7e a giant ve#+, so to s&ea7.
Cust as the maste#y of the &#evious level of &u#ely selfish mate#iality an* gain eventually lea*s to the *iscove#y that
5having5 o# 5getting5 an* 5&ossessing5 only lea* to &leasu#e an* not t#ue Ha&&iness, so it is with the level of
conscious awa#eness which is conce#ne* with 5living my *#eams5 an* 5*oingness5. "hus, man eventually lea#ns that
his en*less 5*oingness5 of activities only lea*s to &leasu#e an* t#ansito#y, +#ief, fleeting moments of Ha&&iness.
Although this is *efinitely a much highe# level than the one +efo#e it, it is still Huite limite* +ecause it #esults in a
loss of ene#gy. "hus, in the ceaseless activities of 5*oingness5 one is still ve#y much giving away thei# &owe# to
women an* essentially 5inviting5 #eBection, shame, f#ust#ation, an* confusion #ega#*ing &ic7u&, *ating, an*
#elationshi&s.
"o e>&en* ene#gy is to simultaneously give away one5s &owe#.
4e#ha&s in a state of g#eat f#ust#ation, it is *iscove#e* that "#ue Ha&&iness *oes not a#ise *ue to 5having things5 no#
*oes it a#ise f#om 5*oing things5. .ith goo* fo#tune, the *esi#e fo# continuous Ha&&iness @i##es&ective of 5having5
an* 5*oing5A is +o#n an* lea*s man u&on the t#ue s&i#itual Huest.
HA44IN8SS 2O: NO :8ASON
Ha&&iness a#ises f#om one5s Beingness which is ?in he#e? #athe# than ?out the#e.? %ont#astingly, &ossessions an*
activities mostly only lea* to &leasu#e @an* not lasting Ha&&inessA *ue to the fact that &ossessions an* activities
a#e conce#ne* with an* *e&en*ent u&on what is ?out the#e? in the wo#l* of fo#m. "hus, &ossessing an* *oingness
+oth #esult in a significant loss of self$esteem an* confi*ence.
In #a#e cases an* with e>ce&tionally goo* fo#tune, man lea#ns that Ha&&iness, li7e g#avity, has no 5cause5 an* is
me#ely an o&tion which is always availa+le via the sim&le choice to let go of negativity an* intellectualism an*
the#e+y su##en*e# to the eve#$&#esent stillness of inne# Ha&&iness$Coy$Bliss that has always +een in the
+ac7g#oun* awaiting invocation an* 5activation5 f#om within.
Ha&&iness *oes not a#ise f#om having o# *oing, +ut f#om sim&ly Being. Ha&&iness comes f#om sim&ly 8>isting. In
fact, the less one has an* the less one *oes, the g#eate# one5s Ha&&inessI Mo#eove#, the *ee&e# one comes to
#eali/e the Sou#ce of thei# 8>istence a#ises f#om the Allness of ,ivinity an* not f#om the &e#sonal ego$self, the
*ee&e# the Huality an* awa#eness of Ha&&iness the#e will +e.
"HIN=IN<N8SS
.hat +loc7s the awa#eness of Ha&&iness at any given moment a#e one5s thoughts, which a#e li7e clou*s +loc7ing
the sunlight. As thoughts *issolve, a s&ace is c#eate* fo# t#ue Ha&&iness an* Coy to shine fo#th. It me#ely awaits the
cessation of constant thin7ingness an* chatte#.
As thoughts a#e &#og#essively su##en*e#e*, an actual state of *#un7$li7e Coy soon eme#ges. It is then *iscove#e*
that Ha&&iness an* Coy have always +een &#esent at all times an* in all situations an* can neve# ?leave? +ecause
Ha&&iness an* Coy a#e actually one5s own S&i#itual Self. As one5s thin7ingness *issolves, one *iscove#s E &e#ha&s
#athe# astonishingly E that thin7ing was the sou#ce of one5s suffe#ing, an* that thin7ingness itself was neve# even
necessa#y to +egin with. "houghts a#e #eally not stunningly ma#velous. Life goes on Coyously without them.
.OM8N AN, "HO)<H"S
"o fully com&#ehen* the a#t of .omani/ing, it is necessa#y to com&#ehen* thin7ingness itself. "hat is, the way to
5han*le5 a woman is Huite simila# to how one shoul* 5han*le5 one5s ve#y own thoughts. In teaching men how to
+ehave an* han*le themselves a#oun* women, it is only necessa#y to teach them how to han*le thei# own ego5s.
Many Huestions ma7e it to this In+o>, such asK
?How *o you han*le a +itchy womanF?
?.hat to *o when my gi#lf#ien* is aloof o# unca#ingF?
?How *o you han*le women who cheatF?
?.hat *o you *o if a woman as7s you this YJ; HuestionF?
?.e5ve fallen out of loveG can anything +e *one to #esto#e the &assionF?
?.hat5s the +est way to c#eate o# 5s&a#75 att#actionF?
?.heneve# a woman ta7es off he# clothes, I lose my e#ection... It5s li7e t#ying to shoot &ool with a #o&eI .hat *o I
nee* to *o a+out thisF?
8ve#y Huestion #ega#*ing what to say o# *o gives us a hint that it is actually thei# own min*s which they *on5t
un*e#stan* how to han*le, o# #athe#, how to Be with.
.hen a man 7nows how to Be in #ega#*s to his own min* an* thoughts, the a#t of .omani/ing +ecomes ve#y easy
an* natu#al. .omani/ing is *iscove#e* to +e a conseHuence of me#ely 8>isting as consciously as one &ossi+ly can
at eve#y moment with as little thin7ingness9mentali/ation as &ossi+le.
"H8 <I2" O2 MI::O:S
.e can thin7 of eve#y single ?&#o+lem? that women +#ing to ou# *oo# an* into ou# lives as a 5mi##o#5 which is me#ely
showing us whe#e we nee* to wo#7 on ou# own min*s. Of cou#se, the way to 5wo#7 on5 the min* is to actually *o
nothing a+out it an* lea#n to sim&ly Be with it. One can eithe# .itness the min*5s thoughts, o# Igno#e them an*
choose silent$Boy instea*. "hus, in the highe# levels of consciousness, it isn5t what one 5*oes5 a+out thoughts @o#
female +ehavio#A that ma7es the *iffe#ence at all.
It is me#ely what one Is that matte#s.
If she +#ings ange#, then we must than7 he# fo# showing us ou# own #esi*ual ange#.
If she +#ings sco#n an* &#i*e, then she has +lesse* us with a gift +y showing us that we nee* to get to wo#7 on
han*ling ou# own &#i*e #esi*uals.
If she +#ings us the gift of cheating, then she is he#e to show us how we a#e actually +et#aying ou#selves an*
othe#s, inclu*ing how we a#e still +et#aying <o* @i.e., ,enialA.
If she +#ings col* aloofness an* inconsi*e#ate +ehavio#s, she was sent +y <o* as a holy messenge# to #emin* us
that it is now time to +ecome wa#me# an* mo#e consi*e#ate of ou#selves an* othe#s.
In any situation with any woman who is showing us any +ehavio#, it is not actually necessa#y to *o anything. One
only nee*s to Be, an* not #eally 5*o5 much of anything.
.ith this un*e#stan*ing, .omani/ing is you#s.
"8A%HIN< "H8 MIN, "O ?%HILL O)"?
How we han*le ce#tain female +ehavio#s, an* how *o we han*le ou# ?&#o+lems? an* heal themF 8ven the wo#*
5han*le5 im&lies cont#ol o# 5*oingness5, *oesn5t itF "he stac7 of ?&#o+lems? we have with women an* within
ou#selves all +oil *own to the fact that we a#e a**icte* to thin7ing.
"houghts a#e what c#eate the so$calle* ?&#o+lems? to +egin with. If the#e is an issue with fea#, it is *ue to having
ce#tain thought &atte#ns. If the &#o+lem is ange#, one must loo7 at thei# thoughts. If the woman is +ehaving li7e a
+#at, she is me#ely showing us how ou# own min*s a#e still +ehaving li7e a +#at.
"his then lea*s to the all$im&o#tant, co#e, su&#eme HuestionK
.hat *oes one actually ,O with all of these thoughtsF
Again, the answe#, of cou#se, is, ?,o nothing.?
"houghts a#e li7e we+sites on the Inte#netG the#e a#e millions o# &e#ha&s +illions of them. As soon as we visit one
we+site, -00 new we+sites have +een c#eate* an* launche* somewhe#e in the wo#l*. So, how *oes one *eal with
all of these we+sitesF .ell, it is im&o#tant to #eali/e that we cannot #esist the Inte#net no# sto& all of these we+sites
f#om coming into e>istence. One me#ely chooses to visit the most &ositive we+sites availa+le, o# not visit any
we+sites, &e#io*.
"he min* c#eates ?&#o+lems? an* essentially ?<oogles? itself in o#*e# to fin* ?solutions.? "his ?<oogling? can +e
#efuse*.
Love is the g#eat heale# of ?&#o+lems? an* of womenG to Love, one must lea#n to only Be.
Love is not a 5*oingness5 o# an 5action5G Love is not a ve#+ o# an emotionali/e* #es&onse. "o Love, one only has to
Become Love +y the act of non$actionG one sim&ly has to Be. "hat is, one nee* only 8>ist +ecause Love is innate
to all of 8>istence. Only Love actually e>istsG eve#ything else, all 5non$love5 is me#ely a &e#ce&tual illusion. Non$love
is a natu#al conseHuence of mentali/ation. "he min* is in a constant state of 5*oingness5. .hile it is +usy thin7ing
an* *oing, it misses the fo#est fo# the t#ees.
Again, the way to heal the min* is to essentially *o nothing a+out it. Sim&ly allow it to +e what it is, an* #ef#ain f#om
getting involve* in it. Sim&ly Love the min*, an* .itness it as it +egins to fall into a state of silent +liss.
Simila#ly, the way to heal 5+a* female +ehavio#5 @such as he# icy$col* #eBection, #u*eness, aloofness, o# ange#A is to
essentially *o nothing a+out it. Sim&ly allow the woman to +e what she is, an* #ef#ain f#om getting involve* with he#
*#ama. Sim&ly Love the woman, an* .itness he# as she +egins to fall into a state of silent +liss, o# fails to fall into a
state of silent +liss. .hat she *oes o# *oesn5t *o is a total non$issue. ,o nothing 5to5 womenG Bust Be with them.
2#om the state of Being$ness o# Is$ness, one soon *iscove#s that if a woman offe#s you icy$col* #eBection o# the
g#eatest +lowBo+, it is all the same. "his is &e#ha&s the most won*e#ful su+Bective *iscove#y man can &ossi+ly
ma7e.
A "8%HNIO)8 2O: O)I8"IN< "H8 MIN,
Sit comfo#ta+ly, close you# eyes, an* watch each an* eve#y single thought as it a#ises an* falls away. Notice how
the thoughts a#ise f#om 5the un7nown5 an* #etu#n to whence they came, ove# an* ove#. ,o nothing a+out them. Cust
Be with them, an* #ef#ain f#om getting into a conve#sation with them o# getting involve* in any way. Cust Be.
"hat is the enti#e techniHueG &e#ha&s the ave#age #ea*e# will not use it +ecause it is so sim&le an* &owe#fulI
In the lowe# levels of consciousness, the min* is conce#ne* with 5getting5, an* then as it evolves it +ecomes mo#e
conce#ne* with 5*oing5. "he ne>t &hase of evolution is sim&ly 5+eing5. "hus, to sim&ly Be with one5s thoughts is all
that is #eHui#e*G in *ue time, the min* +egins to fall into silent +liss an* the enti#e +o*y is then +athe* in 7un*alini
ene#gy an* en*o#&hins. Instea* of ma7ing &#o+lems an* c#eating solutions, the min* lea#ns to sim&ly Be an*
comes to #eve#e an* #es&ect the Silence of <o*.
Neve# t#y to ma7e the min* ?shut u&? o# ?sto&? thin7ing, as this will only #esult in the min* going to wa# with itself.
Only Love. Only Beingness.
At the +eginning of this !0$*ay &#og#am I as7e* you to ma7e the fi#m *ecision that you t#uly *o want Love in you#
life. .ell, the way to 5gain5 love is to +ecome it. By watching you# thoughts as they a#ise an* fall away li7e waves in
the ocean, you5ll +ecome Love, #athe# than 5&ossessing5 love o# 5*oing5 love. Loving an* Being a#e one an* the
same thing.
Jou will notice that thoughts a#e usually &a#t image an* &a#t soun*. Some &eo&le a#e mo#e visual than othe#s an*
ten* to thin7 in images o# movies. On the othe# han*, some &eo&le ten* to +e mo#e au*ito#y. "o them, thin7ing
mostly involves inne# tal7ing. Still, othe#s a#e Huite a*e&t at +othG they have inne# images an* movies an* en*less
commenta#y a+out those movies. One nee* only watch an*9o# listen to all of this activity as it a#ises an* falls away.
"he t#ic7 is to not cling to any of it. Sim&ly #ef#ain f#om getting 5suc7e* in5 +y the Buicy thoughts an* #emin* you#self
to only .itness9Love9Be98>ist.
"his &#actice is almost too easy, +ut the #ewa#*s a#e &#etty instantaneous. 4lease *o this E o# B8 this, #athe# E fo# a
goo* thi#ty minutes to*ay. @4#efe#a+ly #ight now. In fact, the suggestion is to lite#ally sto& #ea*ing this a#ticle an*
come +ac7 to finish it in !0 minutes f#om now.A
.8L%OM8 BA%=I
In the futu#e when you5#e with a woman @o# wanting to a&&#oach a womanA +ut fea#, *esi#e, an* the #esulting
?stu&i*ity? a#ise, Bust sto& an* Be. Sim&ly let go of eve#ything an* Bust Be with you# thoughts, ca#efully an*
unswe#vingly watching each one as it a#ises an* falls away li7e waves in the ocean. "his techniHue will #e*uce
st#ess ve#y #a&i*ly.
"he way to 5han*le5 women is the same as how to 5han*le5 thoughts.
Sim&ly .itness women in all of thei# magnificent glo#y, +eauty, *#ama, &e#sonalities, etc. an* lea#n to ,o Nothing
A+out Any Of It. "he less you 5*o5... the ha&&ie# you5ll 5Be5I .hen a woman is +itchy, it isn5t necessa#y to 5get into it5
with he#. Cust Be. Cust Love. It isn5t necessa#y to t#y to co##ect he#, sto& he#, change he#, o# cont#ol he#. It isn5t
necessa#y to 5*eman* #es&ect5 o# to have any e>&ectations of any 7in*.
A"":A%"ION
Men &lace a lot of &#essu#e on themselves in that they want women to +e att#acte* to them. If she is att#acte*, the
man feels goo*, an* if she is not att#acte*, the man feels +a*.
Of cou#se, the male ego wants all women to +e att#acte* to it at eve#y moment without e>ce&tion. "he#efo#e, man
suffe#s eno#mously. .ith the &#actice of Being$ness o# Is$ness, one *iscove#s that att#action o# non$att#action have
ve#y little meaning an* one5s &#io# o+session with att#action was actually only a *ist#action f#om t#ue
Ha&&iness9Beingness.
"o thin7 a+out he# att#action level is to +othe# to thin7.
.hen a woman is aloof o# unca#ing, it isn5t necessa#y to &oint it out to he# o# t#y to 5hel&5 he# in any way. ,o not
entangle you# self$wo#th into he# att#action levels.
Some women can only +e att#acte* to *#ug *eale#s an* woul* fin* the ;en Maste# .omani/e# to +e utte#ly 5c#ee&y5
an* even 5g#oss5. Some women hate an* *es&ise even Love itself. It sca#es them an* they *on5t 7now what to 5*o5
when conf#onte* with a &owe#fully &eaceful an* loving ene#gy fiel* so they ten* to sa+otage an* #et#eat +ecause
they feel too e>&ose*.
"hus, it isn5t the Huantity of women, +ut the Huality of women that matte#s. "he ave#age human +eing is still so un$
evolve* as to lite#ally +e inca&a+le of even un*e#stan*ing the most +asic t#uths. "hat sai*, even the non$integ#ous
woman is ve#y often att#acte* to this level of high Beingness9Love9Bliss, so it is wise to ?tu#n it off? at times out of
#es&ect fo# he# lowe# level of consciousness @as well as you# ownA. "o slee& with such a woman ?Cust +ecause I
canI? is a tem&tation to +e avoi*e* fo# o+vious #easons.
.hen the coc7 goes soft in the &#esence of he# magnificent feminine se>uality, it isn5t necessa#y to *o anything to
the coc7. Cust Be with it, an* Bust Be with the woman.
Jou5ll fuc7 he# when you5#e coc7 is *amn goo* an* #ea*yI
.hat5s the hu##yF Cust +e ha&&y you5#e na7e* with a woman, an* she will li7ely +e ha&&y as well. "he se> will
ha&&en when it ha&&ensG it is not #eally s&ectacula#ly im&o#tant o# u#gent. .ith the &#actice of Beingness, one
*iscove#s that it was the intense *esi#e to ?get lai*? an* to ?&e#fo#m well in +e*? that was the whole &#o+lemG the#e
was too much 5*oingness5 an* not nea#ly enough sim&le, innocent, ?ha&&y +a+y? Beingness.
.hen a woman is ang#y, you *on5t have to 5calm he# *own5 o# 5*o5 anything a+out he# ange#. .ell, may+e ta7e a
ste& +ac7 away f#om he#, you 7now... Bust in case... +ut he# ange# *oesn5t nee* to ma7e you emotionally insecu#e
o# change you# state. Cust Be with he#, nothing mo#e. If she gets out of han*, snea7 out the +ac7 *oo# an* #etu#n
only when she is calm an* #ational. :es&ect silence enough to get away f#om the noise ma*e +y the unha&&y
+a+ies. If you #etu#n only to fin* that she is even mo#e ang#y now ?Because you *is#es&ecte* me +y leavingI?,
chances a#e, the woman *oes not 7now what #es&ect actually means.
Life #eally is this sim&le.
.hen a thought comes u& an* te##o#i/es you, Bust Be.
.omen... thoughts... it5s all the same. Cust as the g#eat va#iety of one5s thoughts a#e unim&o#tant, so a#e the g#eat
va#iations in female +ehavio# la#gely unim&o#tant. Nothing women say o# *o actually ?matte#s? o# ?means? anything
s&ecial. "his is *iscove#e* via the sim&le &#actice of Beingness an* not via an intellectual un*e#stan*ing of
Beingness.
Stu*ents often imagine that I am a g#eat communicato# who says an* *oes all 7in*s of ma#velous things that
5cause5 women to +ecome att#acte* to me. "he +est &ic7u&, howeve#, is almost com&letely silent. "he state of
Silence$Bliss is what 5*oes the wo#75, an* it is almost com&letely ?un$#eBecti+le?, so to s&ea7. .omen often feel li7e
they have come Home while in the &#esence of a #a#e man who &#actices the a#t of Beingness.
Jeste#*ay, I went to the *entist an* the assistant was +eautiful, intelligent, an* ve#y o+viously a woman of Integ#ity.
He# natu#al att#action an* #es&ect fo# me was ve#y high an* almost instantaneous +ecause I sai* nothing othe#
than 5hello5 an* allowe* he# to *o most of the tal7ing.
.hen in the state of Beingness, women ten* to #ela> an* sta#t tal7ing as though they5ve 7nown you fo#eve#. "hey
usually get a little ne#vous +ecause they a#e feeling so goo*.
I sim&ly ga/e* into he# eyes while #emaining awa#e of the conte>t9&e#i&he#y an* my +#eathing. .hen you thin7
a+out it, the#e is #eally nothing stunningly magical that you can say to women. "hey5ve hea#* it all +efo#e.
"he Silent Man e>u*es a &owe#ful &#esence an* healing au#a which is usually unli7e anything she has eve# felt
+efo#e. Again, it sometimes +ecomes necessa#y to ?cool it off? when thei# att#action level goes too high.
If you can, s&en* time visuali/ing women +eing att#acte* to you an* ente#ing that su&e#$cute feminine state whe#e
they tal7 a+out eve#ything un*e# the sun. 1isuali/e sim&ly Being, an* not tal7ing. It is a &owe#ful &#actice in*ee*.
Jou so#t of +ecome li7e an ?oa7 t#ee? fo# women to &lay an* *ance a#oun*. .atch in ama/ement as women light
u& an* tu#n into cute little 5tal7ing machines5 fo# you# viewing &leasu#e.
<o*, women a#e so +eautiful... "o .omani/e, it is only necessa#y to sto& an* a*mi#e a woman5s +eauty without
getting emotional a+out it an* es&ecially without wanting to cont#ol a woman5s att#action level. 4a#a*o>ically, the
man who sto&s wo##ying a+out att#action is then offe#e* mo#e &ussy than he can &ossi+ly 7now what to *o with.
"o +othe# 5*oing5 anything a+out a woman5s att#action @o# non$att#actionA is &e#ha&s the g#eatest +lin* s&ot of the
se*uction community as a whole. ,oingness #eHui#es effo#t, thin7ing, cont#ol, an* the e>&en*itu#e of vital Life
8ne#gy. "o sim&ly Be #eHui#es no thin7ing an* it natu#ally att#acts a g#eat many of women who #es&ect Integ#ity
itself. "hus, t#ue .omani/ing is selfless an* g#a*ually lea*s one into a state of fea#less silence$+liss as well as an
a+un*ance of +eautiful women to choose f#om.
1(. %ommunication S7ills
4e#ha&s the g#eatest feeling of f#ee*om an* Boy a man can e>&e#ience in the whole wo#l* is the feeling of a goo*
&ic7u&, o# the a+ility to easily an* effo#tlessly wal7 ove# to any woman an* s&ontaneously st#i7e u& a conve#sation
with he# f#om a state of fea#less Boy, AN, %LOS8 "H8 ,8ALI
In this lifetime, the g#eatest sou#ce of *e&#ession an* mise#y was *ue to a lac7 of having this a+ility. "o me, the#e
was nothing wo#se than s&otting an att#active woman an* missing out on the o&&o#tunity to fin* out what she5s li7e
*ue to a +unch of stu&i* an* annoying thoughts in my hea*, along with the #esulting feelings of &anic an*
hesitation.
Jou 7now the feeling...
"he#e she is... stan*ing in line at the g#oce#y sto#e... waiting fo# the +us... wal7ing *own the st#eet... having a *#in7
at the +a#... wal7ing he# *og in the &a#7. On a logical level, you 7now the fo#mula is sim&le. Jou a#e to sim&ly wal7
ove# to he# an* say hello. But, as soon as you even #emotely half$*eci*e that you might actually *o it, this time, an*
wal7 ove# the#e to say hello... this is when the min* comes in to haunt you with the ?.hat ifF? Huestions.
?.hat if she gets offen*e*F?
?.hat if she has a +oyf#ien*F?
?.hat if I *on5t have anything goo* to tal7 a+outF?
?.hat if she laughs at me an* sco#ns meF?
?.hat if she5s too +usy to tal7 an* fin*s me annoyingF?
?.hat if she thin7s I5m Bust a &e#ve#tF?
?.hat if eve#yone ove#hea#s ou# conve#sationF?
?.hat if she Bust wants to +e left aloneF?
...An* on an* on li7e this until you conclu*e that to*ay is *efinitely not the *ay you5#e going to get ove# this fea#.
"omo##ow, may+e. Jou 7now, when you5#e #ea*y.
,on5t hate the min*. It is Bust *oing what it is 5su&&ose*5 to *o. "hat is, it &ulls out en*less ?.hat ifF? Huestions
+ecause it is &#og#amme* to t#y to antici&ate hy&othetical *isaste#s an* 5t#ou+leshoot5 them.
It is conce#ne* with ?&#o+lems? an* thei# ?solutions.?
Once it feels that it has thought of eve#y single &ossi+le ?&#o+lem? an* foun* the &e#fect ?solutions? to a satisfacto#y
*eg#ee, then MAJB8 it will move fo#wa#* an* ta7e action.
"hus, man5s ego then goes online to memo#i/e a se#ies of com&le> communication s7ills such as &ic7u& lines,
#outines an* sc#i&ts, +o*y$language ti&s, an* othe# ?social mas7s? to t#y to cove# u& the fact that his min* is fille*
with noisy insecu#ities. Hey, at least 5the community5 gets him out of the house an* into +e* with women.
As we *iscusse* yeste#*ay, the fi#st level of consciousness is all a+out 5getting5, 5having5, 5owning5, 5wanting5,
5*esi#ing5, 5collecting5, an* 5&ossessing5. It sees a woman as a 5thing5 to 5get5. As consciousness matu#es an*
evolves, it then +ecomes conce#ne* with 5*oing5 an* 5tal7ing5 an* 5+ehaving5 an* 5acting5. A woman is then not so
much seen as a 5thing5 to 5&ossess5 +ut as a 5&e#son5 that it can ?,o awesome stuff withI? such as tal7ing, wal7ing,
fuc7ing, eating, &laying tennis, intellectuali/ing, an* so on.
In less evolve* cultu#es, women a#e still thought of as 5&ossessions5 which a#e 5owne*5. 2o# e>am&le, in the Mi**le
8ast, women a#e not e>actly #es&ecte* o# hel* in high #ega#*. By cont#ast, in the ).S., women a#e not thought of as
things +ut as 5love#s5, 5f#ien*s5, 5fuc7 f#ien*s5, 5&laymates5, 5wives5, 5gi#lf#ien*s5, an* so on. "he socially acce&te* an*
im&lie* #eality is that #elationshi&s &#ima#ily consist of 5*oingness5. Jou5#e gene#ally su&&ose* to have
conve#sations, go out on *ates an* *o all 7in*s of inte#esting activities togethe# such as going to #estau#ants an*
+a#s, going out *ancing, going fo# long wal7s an* hol*ing han*s, #enting movies, an* mo#e. Life is one +ig
e>hausting ve#+ afte# anothe# until you #un out of ene#gy an* *ieI
Although the Ame#ican way is o+viously much mo#e evolve* than the Mi**le 8aste#n way, it is still Huite limite* *ue
to +eing stuc7 at the level of 5action5 an* 5activity5.
Since the socially acce&te* thing is to 5*o5 things with women, a whole in*ust#y has +een c#eate* a#oun* what,
s&ecifically, a man shoul* say an* *o with a woman in o#*e# to succee* with he# in a win9win fashion. .hile the#e
is nothing 5w#ong5 with this, it is still a limite*, linea#, ego$+ase* way of +eing with women. Mo#eove#, this 5action$
o#iente*5 o# 5*oingness5 &a#a*igm is what accounts fo# a significant amount of man5s fea#s an* f#ust#ating failu#es
with women an* *ating.
8ven though many men eventually lea#n to 5&low th#ough5 thei# fea#s an* 5*o5 many of the 5#ight5 things with women
@an* succee* Huite a*mi#a+ly, at least in the &ic7u& an* *ating *e&a#tmentA, thei# lives woul* +ecome so much
easie# an* mo#e enBoya+le if they we#e to lea#n to t#anscen* the 5*oingness5 &a#a*igm an* evolve into sim&le
Beingness.
Jou see, the &a#a*igm of 5*oingness5 c#eates fea#G Beingness is +eyon* all fea#.
Notice how all of the en*less ?.hat ifF? Huestions a#e actually +o#n out of the 5*oingness5 &a#a*igm. On a *ee&e#
level, the ?.hat ifF? Huestion is #eally a, ?.hat s&ecifically *o I nee* to 5*o5 if she 5*oes5 some 7in* of YJ;$
+ehavio#F? "hus, to move +eyon* the fea# an* wo##y$+ase* ?.hat if5s?, it is only necessa#y to let go of the +elief
that you nee* to 5*o5 something in o#*e# to 5cause5 a woman to feel att#action, *esi#e, #omance, an* Love fo# you.
%OMM)NI%A"ION
4e#ha&s the main fea# #ega#*ing a&&#oaching women stems f#om the +elief that one nee*s to have ?su&e# high
ninBa$level communication s7ills? in o#*e# to 5cause5 att#action an* fulfill he# e>&ectations of what a man 5shoul*5 say
an* 5*o5. .ell, #emem+e# that f#ien* of mine I tol* you a+out, the guy I use* to &lay &ool an* &ic7u& an* en*less
se#ies of women withF 4e#ha&s if you saw him 5in action5, you woul* +e +lown away +y his a+ility to get women via
the &athway of 5non$action5.
I #emem+e# a ta+le of fou# gi#ls... my f#ien* goes ove# to them, g#a+s a chai#, sits *own, an* Bust gently ga/es u&on
them with a twin7le in his eye. He *oesn5t even +othe# to SAJ H8LLOI "his #emin*s me of the film, ?Cay an* Silent
Bo+ St#i7e Bac7?, whe#e the cha#acte# Silent Bo+ sim&ly chooses to neve# s&ea7. He Bust 7in*a... sits the#e... an*
*oes nothing. Jou see, the less a man says, the less the#e is fo# a woman to #esist.
Bac7 to my f#ien*, ve#y often gi#ls woul* +e #ece&tive an* f#ien*ly, an* many times they woul* also +e col* an*
*own#ight #u*e. "o him, it was all the same. He woul* Bust sit the#e in his /en$li7e state of non$#esistance, 7in*ness,
humility, an* ,ivine Stu&i*ity. It *i*n5t matte# what women 5say5 an* 5*o5, to him, they we#e Bust +eautiful an* he
love* eve#ything a+out them. 2o# e>am&le, if the gi#ls woul* get 5sni&&y5 an* say something li7e, ?JeahF HelloF
%an we hel& youF? he woul* Bust sta#t c#ac7ing u& an* still... he woul* say... an* *o... nothing. Mo#e often than not,
the gi#ls woul* all giggle an* o&en u& to him an* sta#t enBoying themselves. @I woul* then &ic7 my Baw u& off the
floo# an* go Boin them at thei# ta+le.A
It wasn5t always effective. In fact, I thin7 he got off on +eing wei#*. He ha* some 7in* of st#ange fascination with it,
an* fancie* himself a f#ea7. But this f#ea7show f#ien* of mine *efinitely taught me a thing o# two a+out the a#t of
5/en &ic7u&5. "he min* +elieves it nee*s to say all of these fancy things to 7ee& women inte#este*, +ut actually, less
is mo#e. 1e#y often, the less a man says, the +ette#.
Instea* of 5thin7ing5 an* 5*oing5 an* 5tal7ing5, a much highe# way of +eing with women is in sim&ly Being with them in
a #elatively silent state.
"his a&&lies to *ates as well, an* it even a&&lies to #elationshi&s. Cust to*ay, in fact, my wife must have utte#e*
a+out -0,000 wo#*s. Myself, I5ve &e#ha&s use* a+out 100 wo#*s to*ay in total, an* my wife is a ha&&y woman who
&u##s ve#y much.
4#actice saying o# s&ea7ing as little as you can get away with to*ay. Jou5* +e su#&#ise* Bust how much 5ove#$
tal7ingness5 is going on with you, +oth in you# conve#sations with &eo&le an* in you# own min*. 4#actice saying as
little as &ossi+le to you# f#ien*s, family, associates, women, etc. an* also &#actice letting go of you# inne#
commentato#. Jou 7now, the voice in you# hea* that feels it is necessa#y to ma7e comments an* e*ito#iali/e a+out
eve#ything .itnesse*. 4#actice gently letting it go, ove# an* ove#. In the +eginning, it *oes ta7e constant #emin*e#s.
,on5t get into a ?+ig thing? a+out it +y telling the ego$self to shut u& an* sto& tal7ing. .hen you #eali/e that you#
min* has +een tal7ing an* commenting on eve#ything, fo#give it on the s&ot an* Bust &#actice letting it go +y
#ef#aining f#om +eing involve* with it. Cust #emem+e# that the inne# voice isn5t the #eal 5you5, it is actually Bust a min*$
&#og#am an* when it lea#ns to sto& tal7ing so much, the #ewa#*s a#e g#eate# than can +e e>&#esse* via wo#*s.
.OM8N .AN" "O B8 ?"A=8N?
Once the Silence is t#uly un*e#stoo* @+y living itA an* is then hum+ly #es&ecte*, a won*e#ful thing ha&&ens with
women. "hat is, the o&&o#tunity to agg#essively close them @so to s&ea7A now o&ens u& to us fo# the ve#y fi#st time.
In a matte# of minutes o# even secon*s, you can Bust tell he#, ?Let5s get out of he#e?, allow he# to th#ow u& the usual
#esistance an* hesitation, an* gently #e&eat the same wo#*s again, ?Let5s get out of he#e.?
.ith the *evelo&ment of authentic 4#esence9Beingness9Bliss, it is then &ossi+le @an* highly a*visa+leA to go
st#aight fo# the 7ill.
Life is much too &#ecious fo# wasting it on ?communication s7ills? which a#e #eally *esigne* to &ic7u& all 7in*s of
wea79insecu#e9unsta+le9immatu#e9annoying women.
?<ame? is fo# chil*#en.
.hy fool a#oun*F
1-. "he .olves, Sna7es, an* ,inosau#s
As if shifting &a#a*igm f#om 5&ossessing5 to 5*oingness5 we#en5t *ifficult enough, ma7ing the shift f#om 5*oingness5 to
5Bust +e5 o# Beingness is &e#ha&s even mo#e *ifficult. Man7in* has actually ha* access to this c#itical info#mation fo#
millenia, yet when we loo7 a#oun*... the wo#l* is still #a&ing, 7illing, to#tu#ing, stealing, lying, fighting, etc., as well as
#unning a#oun* ?li7e chic7ens with thei# hea*s cut off? in 5&u#suit5 of ha&&iness which is still ve#y much +elieve* to
+e 5out the#e5 instea* of 5in he#e5.
A#e humans stu&i*, o# whatF
.ell, the ego is ve#y stu&i*, yes. It is im&o#tant to #emin* one5s self eve#y single *ay @an* seve#al times a *ayA that
the ego is im&e#sonalG it isn5t 5the me5G it is only animal &#og#amming. Jou5#e not t#a&&e* insi*e of a human +o*y$
min*, actually, the +o*y$min* a#e insi*e of you, the S&i#it, o# the Silent .itness. Othe#wise, how woul* you +e a+le
to .itness you# own thoughtsF Something has to .itness the +o*y$min*G this is #athe# clea#, although it *oes ta7e
a consi*e#a+le amount of #emin*ing +ecause the ha+it of min*$i*entification is Huite stu++o#n.
By analogy, you a#e the s7y an* not the +i#*. Jou a#e the ocean an* not the fish. Jou a#e conte>t an* not content.
"he .itness has ma*e a mista7e in that it i*entifie* with the noisy min* #athe# than with Silence. 1e#y few &eo&le
a#e even awa#e of this 7in* of info#mation, an* fewe# still a#e motivate* to *o something a+out it. "his is ,ay 1-
an* you5#e still #ea*ing thisF It s&ea7s Huite highly of you, ye&.
"o effectively .omani/e, this has to +e un*e#stoo*, fo# when it is, you# ve#y &#esence in a #oom ten*s to shift the
whole #oom. Jou# sense of un$attachment, you# ten*ency to not #eact emotionally, an* you# silent +liss +ecomes
contagious.
.hen a woman has a casual conve#sation with you, she5ll fin* it to +e an inc#e*i+ly healing e>&e#ience. "his is
+ecause you will +e a+le to intuit he# ve#y thoughts, feelings, insecu#ities, etc., an* even via a casual conve#sation
with only a few wo#*s... you5ll often +e a+le to #e$conte>tuali/e he# inne# 5issues5 an* fea#s such that a ce#tain
amount of healing automatically occu#s. Mo#eove#, eventually even you# au#a t#ansmits silent 5info#mation &ac7ets5
to he# @so to s&ea7A.
LO18 IS IM48:SONAL
In my youth, I went somewhat ove#+oa#* with this whole women an* *ating thing. .hile I ce#tainly *on5t have any
#eg#ets an* am ha&&y with how things have tu#ne* out, loo7ing +ac7 on my life I can see a few c#itical e##o#s I
ma*e which cost me ve#y *ea#ly.
Although I *o not #ecommen* +ecoming a full$time 5&ic7u& a#tist5 no# living with seve#al women simultaneously as
these activities #esult in the accumulation of 57a#ma5 @s&i#itual an* wo#l*ly conseHuencesA, in those *ays I sim&ly
coul*n5t hel& myself. One #eason fo# this was that I ha* this effect on women an* *i* not 7now why. I Bust 7new I
coul* semi$heal them, an* I *efinitely love* them all. But in those *ays, I misun*e#stoo* this S&i#itual Love an*
healing ene#gy fiel* as something that was 5mine5 o# at least coming th#ough 5me5. In othe# wo#*s, Love was naively
misi*entifie* as +eing 5&e#sonal5 when in t#uth, S&i#itual Love is Bust an im&e#sonal fiel* of consciousness, Bust as
the ego is an im&e#sonal 5entity5.
"he#e a#e no 5&eo&le5 in the wo#l*, the#e is only the Light of <o* @i.e., consciousness9awa#enessA shining th#ough
the animal an* human wo#l* at va#ying *eg#ees of intensity. "he#e is only one Sou#ce of Light activating only one
5ego5 which ha&&ens to +e s&#ea* out th#ough the many ,ivine 5meat$&u&&ets5 in the animal$human 7ing*om.
Although humans innocently fancy themselves to +e 5s&ecial5 an* 5uniHue5, they a#e fa# f#om that. )niHueness an*
S&ecialness a#e nothing mo#e than illusions which a#ise f#om the &e#ce&tual limitations of the innately an* ve#y
innocently &#i*eful human ego9min*. But in :eality, the#e is only Oneness, Allness, ,ivinity, o# <o*. An*, human
ego &e#ce&tion cannot 7now thisG the only #eal sin, as Cesus &ointe* out, is Bust igno#ance.
A <I2"8, JO)"H
2#om a ve#y young age, s&i#itual e>&e#iences we#e common.
I woul* often 5+liss out5 fo# no a&&a#ent #eason, while &eo&le an* events in the wo#l* seeme* to move in slow
motion. "he min* woul* often fall semi$silent in a state of awe.
Such e>&e#iences woul* #ecu# eve#y so often to va#ying *eg#ees, +ut unfo#tunately the#e was no+o*y I coul* tal7 to
a+out this an* I *i* not un*e#stan* what 57un*alini5 ene#gy o# S&i#itual Love was.
Late# on in life, I #ea* a s&i#itual +oo7 which mentione* te#ms li7e 5uncon*itional love5 an* 5love with no su+Bect no#
o+Bect5. It +ecame a&&a#ent that this is what was going on with me, an* I ho&e* that the#e was a way fo# me to
*evelo& this state so that it +ecame my &e#manent con*ition.
I +ecame e>t#emely *evote* an* committe* to #eaching the state of )ncon*itional Love, +ut lac7ing the gui*ance
of a Hualifie* s&i#itual teache# who coul* wa#n me a+out some of the common t#a&s an* &itfalls along the way, I
ma*e a c#itical mista7e an* it cost me ve#y *ea#ly.
In my late twenties an* ea#ly thi#ties, Love was Huic7ly +ecoming the only #eality of which I was awa#e. I5* wa7e u&
with seve#al women ne>t to me, an* they5* Bum& out of +e* to go ma7e coffee, a five$cou#se +#ea7fast, an* *#aw
me a +ath. Afte# this lu>u#ious +ath @with a +unch of giggly 16$yea#$ol* gi#ls to 7ee& me com&anyA, &e#ha&s I woul*
o&en my email an* #ea* 20 o# !0 of them, all f#om &eo&le who wante* to than7 me fo# something #ega#*ing
?i*ea<asms? that ha* a&&a#ently hel&e* them in some way. .ithout a sche*ule no# a ?Bo+? to wo##y a+out, most
*ays we#e s&ent in the com&any of the gi#ls @along with em&loyees an* f#ien*sA, an* most of ou# time was s&ent
tal7ing a+out how to *evelo& my com&any an* ta7e it to the ne>t level. "#uly, ou# *ays we#e fille* with laughte#,
goo* foo*, an* fine wines. Life was li7e some 7in* of heavenly *#eam fo# a while, whe#e Bust a+out the only thing I
eve# saw @in myself an* in eve#yone a#oun* meA, was Love.
.ell, they say ?love is +lin*?, an* at a ce#tain s&ecific level of consciousness, this is a+solutely co##ect. Not only is
that level of Love almost totally +lin*, +ut it ten*s to att#act what Cesus has te#me* 5the wolf in shee&5s clothing5. In
this case, it att#acte* so many wolves that I5ve lost count. I was li7e a wal7ing, tal7ing, highly successful love$i*iot.
In those *ays, money was +eginning to #oll in fo# the fi#st time in my life, an* I was Huite gene#ous @&e#ha&s even
stu&i*ly gene#ousA. It isn5t that I was ?+uying f#ien*s?, I Bust gene#ally felt loving an* Huite gene#ousI I woul* give a
[100 *olla# +ill to the homeless guy ove# he#e, I woul* +ut a +ottle of whis7ey fo# that homeless guy ove# the#eG I5*
go sho&&ing an* +uy some won*e#fully *elicious foo* an* wine, an* of cou#se, I5m not going to eat this all alone +y
myselfI Of cou#se not...
Since my success ha*, as it often *oes, #esulte* in a loss of nea#ly all of my &#evious f#ien*s, I woul* often th#ow
&a#ties an* actually invite my newslette# #ea*e#s f#om the Inte#net to come ove# to my house.
Jou5#e sta#ting to get the &ictu#e. I +ecame human +ait fo# the wolf in shee&5s clothing. "he wolves a#e innocent, +ut
can +e #a&acious. Many &eo&le in ou# wo#l* actually ma7e it thei# +usiness to tem&t, se*uce, an* lu#e othe#s to
thei# own *est#uction. 4e#ha&s this can +e +ette# un*e#stoo* +y o+se#ving the animal 7ing*om.
In the animal 7ing*om, the#e a#e two lineagesK the #a&acious, an* the +enign. "he wolves, an* the shee&. On the
one han*, the#e a#e animals that live solely +y 7illing othe#s an* a#e com&letely *evoi* of love an* even the
awa#eness that they e>ist. .hen you loo7 into the eyes of ce#tain animals, you can see how they *o not #eali/e
they e>ist, no# *o they #eali/e that you e>ist. Although they can see thei# own +o*ies an* they can ce#tainly see
you#s, they *o not see that you a#e Life, that you a#e a Being. "he#efo#e, they *o not have the a+ility to value life. A
*inosau# *oes not even ten* to its own youngG it lays an egg an* wal7s off, continuing to 7ill eve#ything in its &ath.
Jet, on the othe# si*e of the coin, the#e a#e +enign c#eatu#es on this &lanet such as cows, &igs, ho#ses, etc., an*
we even see animals which emanate &u#e S&i#itual Love to such a high *eg#ee that they a#e a+ove 6D of the
human &o&ulation in thei# states of consciousness9awa#eness @e.g., *oggies an* 7ittiesA.
"hus, the#e seems to +e two lineages o# ty&es of life on this &lanet in*ee*. An*, not only *o we see the #a&acious
ve#sus the +enign in the animal wo#l* +ut in the human wo#l* also.
So, what is the g#eatest &e#ceive* th#eat to those humans who come out of the #a&acious lineF It is Love. In ou#
wo#l*, t#ue Love is actually seen as a g#eat th#eat to those whom have not yet #eache* the &oint of evolution whe#e
Integ#ity counts fo# something an* sentient +eings a#e consi*e#e* to have innate value.
In the wo#l* of selfishness, g#ee*, lust, cont#ol, an* &u#ely na#cissistic values, Love an* "#uth a#e not welcome no#
a#e they #es&ecte* in the slightest.
If you a#e #ea*ing something li7e this an* ta7ing it se#iously, eage#ly t#ying to a+so#+ the mate#ials an* &#aying that
they &ositively im&act you# life, it is clea# that you fall into the +enign lineage. "he#efo#e, in stu*ying a /en$+ase*,
<o*$loving &#og#am on how to successfully .omani/e with confi*ence, #es&ect, consi*e#ation, an* )ncon*itional
Love, #eaching a high state is you# *estiny +y vi#tue of having since#ely chosen it an* +eing willing to go th#ough
the ?lea#ning cu#ve? involve* in any human lea#ning.
.hen S&i#itual Love #eaches a ce#tain *eg#ee of intensity, it ten*s to +#ing a+out the collective ego of man7in*5s
#a&acious lineage. "he#e a#e ve#y s&ecific levels of consciousness, an* innate to each of them is that they ten* to
att#act ce#tain ty&es of ene#gies an* #e&el othe#s. .hen S&i#itual Love +egins to #each a mo#e ?se#ious? *eg#ee of
intensity, one +ecomes ve#y att#active to +oth the +enign lineage an* the #a&acious lineage. "he +enign a#e
att#acte* fo# o+vious #easons, +ut the #a&acious a#e sometimes att#acte* +ecause they see7 to ta7e you *own an*
7noc7 you off$cou#seG they love to 7noc7 you off the game +oa#*. RSee ,avi* :. Haw7ins, 2001.S
"he way to ma7e you#self out to +e a nice, &lum&, Buicy ta#get to them an* invite them to attem&t to *est#oy you# life
is to naively assume that eve#yone, *ee& *own, is #eally loving an* well$inten*e* Bust li7e youI Haha, nothing is
mo#e naive than to thin7 this way. "he way this wo#7s is ve#y sim&le. "he human min* has a ten*ency to &#oBect
itself out on to othe#s an* +lin*ly assumes that ?4eo&le a#e all mo#e$o#$less Bust li7e me.? But in #eality, the
#a&acious a#e not li7e you, an* on a &#actical level, it is wise to sim&ly consi*e# them as you# ve#y o&&osite. .hile
you value life an* love an* &eace an* Boy, they actually sec#etly envy an* hate those who choose to align
themselves with <o* as Love an* as Self. An* they love nothing mo#e than to smile, se*uce, flatte#, com&liment,
+e ag#eea+le an* f#ien*ly, hel&ful an*... an* then you +ette# watch you# +ac7.
Living in fea# is one thingG +eing wise an* cautious is anothe#.
In #eality, the main *oo#way the #a&acious have fo# ?getting to you? is the *oo#way of 4#i*e. .hen Love states
+egin to eme#ge @an* they a#e unmista7a+ly sweetA, it may +e wise to ?=ee& a li* on it.? ,on5t ma7e the mista7e of
flaunting o# +eing too o&en a+out you# states of S&i#itual Love. "his is &#ecisely what the #a&acious fin* most
#e&ulsiveG they actually envy an* hate Love itself. RSee 54eo&le of the Lie5 +y Scott M. 4ec7S
"he#efo#e, +e cautious, an* +e ca#efulG avoi* *evelo&ing some 7in* of 5uncon*itional love#5 i*entity o# stic7ing you#
nec7 out in &u+lic. .hen Love states +egin to eme#ge, +e what you a#e, silently. Jou ce#tainly *on5t nee* to hi*e,
eithe#, +ut watch out fo# 5s&i#itual ego5 +ecause it is a *ange#ous &henomenon an* has cost me ve#y *ea#ly. As a
teache# of Love, it is my #es&onsi+ility to fo#ewa#n.
S&i#itual Love can +ecome misun*e#stoo* as 5my5 Love an* this is something to 7ee& an eye on, fo# Love comes
only f#om ,ivinity an* not f#om any human meat$&u&&ets. "he#e is no such thing as 5my5 anythingG the +o*y$min* is
me#ely a &#o*uct of the envi#onment, an* Love is me#ely a Huality of ,ivinity.
=ee& a watchful eye on 4#i*e. It is not only a way fo# the non$integ#ous to get thei# 5claws5 into you, +ut 4#i*e lea*s
to ange#, g#ee*, lust, *e&#ession, guilt, shame, an* mo#e. "he#efo#e, +y 7ee&ing a watchful 5thi#* eye5 on &#i*e
@which is the fallacious +elief that the +o*y$min* is 5the me5A, +y 7ee&ing an eye on this, none of the othe# negative
emotions can get to you, no# can the #a&acious 54eo&le of the Lie5 get to you. .ith humility, one sim&ly avoi*s the
non$integ#ous.
<ua#* the fo#t#ess. :emin* you#self continually, gently, lovingly, ?I am not in this +o*y$min*, the +o*y$min* a#e
within me.? Also, #emin* you#self often that Love an* Bliss states *o not come f#om 5you, the &e#son5 +ut f#om <o*.
At fi#st it may not feel li7e much mo#e than an affi#mation o# +elief, +ut it soon ta7es on a life of its own. "he
f#ee*om f#om suffe#ing is inc#e*i+le, an* the won*e#ful +athing +liss is well wo#th the effo#t. "he a+ility to att#act
inc#e*i+ly high$cali+e# women is also nice, too.
I5ve lea#ne* to*ay5s lesson the ha#* way, so it is with g#eat Boy that I sha#e it he#e, as well as a sense of
#es&onsi+ility to wa#n anyone who ta7es S&i#itual Love se#iously. "he#efo#e, +e loving, +ut *on5t +e naive. Be Boyful,
+ut not stu&i* with a small 5s5. Have em&athy an* com&assion, an* not sym&athy. =ee& a .atchful 8ye on All "hat
Is. "he ego will want to ta7e c#e*it fo# the <ift of Love9Bliss9Coy, +ut the sim&le #emin*e# that such states a#e a
Blessing f#om ,ivinity is all that is #eHui#e* to avoi* falling fo# the 5s&i#itual ego5 as&ect of human consciousness.
IN"8<:I"J 18:S)S NON$IN"8<:I"J
4eo&le as7, ?How can you tell if someone is non$integ#ousF?
Jou can5t #eally tell f#om the level of min* o# &e#ce&tion.
"#ue S&i#itual ,isce#nment comes a+out as a #esult of *evelo&ing an a*vance* .itness$Bliss state, at which &oint
you5ll sta#t to ?Bust 7now? @i.e., non$linea# intuitionA if someone is integ#ous o# not.
8ithe# way, it is +est to t#eat eve#yone the same, as eHuals. Although the#e a#e wi*e va#iations in consciousness
levels, all humans a#e eHually Love* +y <o* +y vi#tue of the sim&le s&i#itual fact that all humans a#e of ,ivine
o#igin. It isn5t ?goo*? ve#sus ?evil? +ut #athe#, humans a#e somewhe#e along a g#a*iant scale of conscious evolution.
Simila# to a the#momete#, some &eo&le a#e icy$col*, while othe#s a#e cool, lu7e wa#m, ve#y wa#m, an* hot, whe#e
the wa#me# one gets, the mo#e one +ecomes i*entifie* with Love itself #athe# than with the ego.
"he i*ea is to sim&ly +e 7in*, fo#giving, gentle, an* com&assionate with eve#yone without e>ce&tion, while
simultaneously #ef#aining f#om getting ove#$involve* with &eo&le on an emotionali/e* 5sola#$&le>us5 level. In so
*oing, you# own sola#$&le>us falls silent in *ue time, an* it can then +e counte* on to ai* in *isce#nment. If the
sola#$&le>us goes into st#ess, chances a#e, you5#e in the com&any of wolves who want something f#om you an*
have some 7in* of hi**en agen*a. 8ithe# way, sim&le 7in*ness an* #ef#aining f#om ove#$involvement is often the
wise choice with +oth integ#ous an* non$integ#ous +eings.
"he#e is a well$7nown saying, ?"#eat a la*y li7e a who#e an* t#eat a who#e li7e a la*y? +ut actually, the wise t#eat all
women eHually +y &#otecting, loving, #eve#ing, an* se#ving them.
As with eve#y human, 5*oingness5 o# 5actions5 a#e #a#ely #eHui#e*. "o me#ely 8>ist in a state of silent &eace is mo#e
than enough an* actually *oes mo#e goo* fo# &eo&le than anything else. "he ego fancies itself as the inne#
cele+#ity, the he#o, the savio# of the wo#l*, etc., an* it wants to 5*o5 an* 5say5 all 7in*s of e#u*ite things. None of it is
#eHui#e*. In a noisy wo#l*, silence is the g#eatest heale# an* se#vant of all.
A 28. SI<NS "O =884 AN 8J8 ON
"he following a#e Bust a few gene#al gui*elines fo# navigating you# way in this wo#l*. None of these a#e ?#ules? as
&eo&le a#e com&le> c#eatu#esG these a#e Bust a few gene#al gui*elines, w#itten in a casual manne#.
Non$integ#ityK
"he non$integ#ous ten* to ma7e eve#ything mo#e com&licate* than it has to +e.
"he non$integ#ous ten* to +e &#etty unwise. Jou5ll fin* you nee* to sto& an* #e$e>&lain eve#ything to them ove# an*
ove#.
"he non$integ#ous often have maBo# t#ust issues. Jou5ll fin* you nee* to #eassu#e them that you a#e not an evil,
mani&ulative, cunning lia# who is out to sc#ew them in some way. "hey can +e Huite &a#anoi* an* ten* to #eHui#e
too much #eassu#ance.
"he non$integ#ous ten* to #eact to eve#ything Huite emotionally. @"hey can also +e ve#y goo* at #e&#essing thei#
emotions an* &laying it cool, howeve#, such &eo&le, when as7e*, ?How a#e you managing to not +e u&set a+out
YJ;F? will not have much wis*om to sha#e. 2o# instance, I once 7new a guy who neve# wo##ie* a+out anything, yet
when I as7e* him, ?How *i* you t#anscen* wo##yF? he coul* not hel& me out. "hus, he was Bust &lay$acting.A
"he non$integ#ous a#e Huite insecu#e, immatu#e, an* lac7 confi*ence, self$wo#th, self$#es&ect, an* consi*e#ation fo#
othe#s. 2o# e>am&le, I once ha* a f#ien* who consistently &isse* all ove# the toilet seat, with not even the sim&le
thoughtfulness to wi&e the #im. He wasn5t +eing malicious, it Bust sim&ly *i* not c#oss his min*. %onsi*e#ation fo#
othe#s #eHui#es Integ#ity.
"he non$integ#ous a#e highly conce#ne* with winning, +eing #ight, an* neve# losing face. "hus, they a#e not
ca&a+le of t#ue humility an* ten* to +e #igi*ly o&inionate* an* ve#y stu++o#n.
"he non$integ#ous a#e gene#ally not ca&a+le of change.
"he non$integ#ous a#e highly &#one to &a#anoi* Bealousy, &ossessiveness, an* envy. Such emotions often lea* to
ange#, hat#e*, an* #evenge. In #elationshi&s, it is no#mal to feel Bealous, an* integ#ous cou&les often ma7e Bo7es
a+out thei# Bealousies, whe#eas the non$integ#ous can +ecome ve#y inte##ogative an* &a#anoi*. "hus, it is they
themselves who might some*ay *emonst#ate that they a#e not ca&a+le of +eing t#ustwo#thy.
"he non$integ#ous gene#ally see the wo#l* as 5unfai#5 an* ten* to assume that all mino#ities a#e victims an* that
?"he innocent suffe# while the guilty go un&unishe*.? Although they a#e &#o+a+ly not going to +e conscious of this
7in* of inne# &#og#amming, it will colo# thei# +ehavio# an* attitu*e.
"he non$integ#ous a+solutely lac7 em&athy. .hen as7e*, ?How *o you thin7 such$an*$such a &e#son feels a+out
YJ;F? they will eithe# *#aw a +lan7 o# ma7e something u& to avoi* loo7ing li7e they *on5t 7now eve#ything.
Sym&athy is all they 7now.
"he non$integ#ous ten* to have ve#y &oo# listening s7ills. "his is often +ecause they a#e so fille* with thoughts an*
emotions that they cannot hea# what you5#e saying. "hey5ll sometimes t#y to guess what you5#e t#ying to say +efo#e
you5ve ha* a chance to ve#+ali/e you# #eHuest.
"he non$integ#ous a#e not ve#y goo* at a&ologi/ing o# a*mitting they5ve ma*e a mista7e. "his woul* necessa#ily
cause them to feel shame, an* the emotion of shame is one that humans will *o the most to avoi*. If they *o
a&ologi/e, they will ten* to *is&lay an ina&&#o&#iate amount of guilt, as if to ?&#ove? they a#e #eally so##y an* won5t
*o it again. ,ee& *own, you may feel they a#e Bust 57issing ass5 to avoi* #eBection an* have not t#uly lea#ne* f#om
thei# mista7e.
"he non$integ#ous a#e not ca&a+le of since#e fo#giveness, an* ten* to hol* a g#u*ge, fo#eve#.
"he non$integ#ous ten* to have &oo# social s7ills as well as &oo# manne#s. "hey often lac7 social g#ace an* class.
%hewing with thei# mouths o&en, inte##u&ting othe#s in mi*$conve#sation, s&ea7ing too lou* @o# too softlyA, *#essing
ina&&#o&#iately, tal7ing too much @o# not enoughA, an* t#ying too ha#* to a&&ea# 5sma#t5 a#e Bust a few e>am&les.
"he non$integ#ous have *ifficulty with hol*ing eye contact. "hey often loo7 *own, o# to the si*e, o# can sometimes
even s&ea7 to you while loo7ing a#oun* the #oom.
"he non$integ#ous a#e &#one to sa#casm, #i*iculing othe#s, cynicism, s7e&ticism @as an attitu*eA, an* intellectual
&#i*e @i.e., the ?7now$it$all? attitu*eA. "hey also ten* to +e con*escen*ing, es&ecially while in the &#esence of highly
evolve* &eo&le, authentic e>&e#ts, autho#ity, etc.
"he non$integ#ous ten* to use a lot of fli#ting, se*uction, cha#m, an* so on. "hey love to ma7e 5evil se*uctive eyes5
an* &lay 5&ush &ull5 games. "hey often get stuc7 in this mo*e of communication an* simultaneously lac7 humo# an*
es&ecially the a+ility to laugh at themselves.
"he non$integ#ous a#e still at the level of evolution, *evelo&ment, an* consciousness of chil*#en an*9o# teens.
"he#efo#e, 7ee& a watchful eye on chil*$li7e +ehavio#s, attitu*es, an* emotionality.
Integ#ity
At a ce#tain level of consciousness, Integ#ity #eally +egins to stan* out. "he integ#ous a#e often easily met, &olite,
7in*, hel&ful, have a &ositive sense of humo#. %onve#sations a#e smooth an* flowingG ve#y little effo#ting is #eHui#e*.
Such &eo&le a#e easy to &lease an* the e>change will +e #elatively conflict$f#ee. Jou won5t feel li7e you nee* to
5wo#7 ha#*5 to ma7e su#e you5#e getting along with them. "hey can often hol* a &#olongue*, o&en visual ga/e an*
thei# eyes a#e f#ee f#om st#ain o# &ain. Integ#ity ten*s to give ene#gy, while non$integ#ity ten*s to *#ain it. Jou5ll feel
simultaneously ene#gi/e* an* &eaceful with &eo&le of even the most +asic Integ#ity.
"he Integ#ous a#e at the level of evolution, *evelo&ment, an* consciousness of a*ults. "hey a#e #es&onsi+le,
accounta+le, an* *e&en*a+le. If you len* Integ#ity a +oo7, you5ll get it +ac7. It may have a few coffee stains on it,
+ut you5ll get you# +oo7 +ac7 an* won5t nee* to as7.
.hen it comes to *ating an* #elationshi&s, it is im&e#ative to choose Integ#ous &a#tne#s +ecause actually, the non$
integ#ous a#e not ca&a+le of enBoying a matu#e, a*ult, &eaceful, an* loving #elationshi&. 2o# a*vance* info#mation
#ega#*ing integ#ity ve#sus non$integ#ity, see 1olume One an* 1olume Si> of the %#ac7ing "he Male92emale %o*e
volume se#ies. It may also +e ve#y e*ucative to <oogle fo# ?&assive agg#essive +ehavio# &atte#ns? an* #ea* u& on
those.
"he fact that you want to inc#ease you# awa#eness of S&i#itual Love s&ea7s ve#y highly of you.
4e#ha&s #athe# astonishingly, many humans have not even hea#* that such a thing e>ists o# is even a &ossi+ility.
"o a** &owe# to you# *ecision of ?I t#uly want Love in my life?, the suggestion is to give than7s fo# the fact that
you5* even want such a thingI "he *ecision to su##en*e# to Love *oes not come f#om the ego o# &e#sonal self at allG
it comes f#om the S&i#it9Self an* is a ,ivine <ift as an inne# calling.
1. Shyness 1e#sus Silence
In a *iscussion #ega#*ing the eno#mous an* su#&#ising +enefits of Silence as a&&lie* in the conte>t of &ic7u&,
*ating, #elationshi&s, an* ?.omani/ing?, inevita+ly ce#tain Huestions an* conce#ns a#e going to come u&.
One such conce#n woul* li7ely +e that of the inhe#ently shy, hesitant, an* al#ea*y Huiet man. In teaching .omani/e
fo# so many yea#s, you come to #eali/e that the#e a#e only a small num+e# of Huestions which eve# a#ise, although
they *o ta7e many fo#ms. One such Huestion an* conce#n might +e that of, ?Jou5#e telling me to +e Silent, +ut I5m
al#ea*y silent an* it gets me nowhe#e with women fastI?
In the well$7nown 5se*uction community5, the shy man is taught to come out of his shell an* s&ea7 lou*e#, mo#e
confi*ently, an* even to +ecome something of a ?moto#$mouth.? %om&etent &ic7u& inst#ucto#s all ove# the wo#l*, if
you o+se#ve them as closely as I have, a#e often almost shouting at thei# stu*ents to ?g#ow some +allsI? an* to ?get
out the#e an* ma7e things ha&&enI? .hen seen fo# what they a#e, they in*ee* &#ovi*e a g#eat se#vice to thei#
stu*ents in that they get them out of 5sloth9la/iness5 consciousness an* into 5action$o#iente*5 consciousness.
.hile the stu*ents often sit the#e in a state of a&athy, ho&elessness, *es&ai#, an* *e&#ession, they a#e essentially
tol* to sna& out of it an* a#e &ushe* f#om +ehin*. "hese guys in*ee* nee* a ?wa7e u& call?, an* having +een
th#ough the 5&ic7u& inst#ucto#5 &hase myself, I can tell you that it is not an easy Bo+.
Jou can s&en* a whole wee7 with a guy *oing eve#ything you can to get him to 5ta7e action5, only to watch him go
home an* sli*e +ac7 into his *e&#ession. "he Bo+ itself was too unsettling fo# me, an* I woul* often lie awa7e in +e*
at night t#ying to ?figu#e out? @i.e., with the min*A newe#, +ette#, faste#, an* mo#e effective ways of teaching,
s&ea7ing, e>&laining, an* motivating.
I Huic7ly g#ew ti#e* of +eing a motivational s&ea7e#. It isn5t the most g#atifying Bo+ in the wo#l*, so I *o #es&ect those
who ta7e this on. In my case, as a teache#, &e#ha&s the ve#y last thing I want to wo#7 with is someone who is in a
state of a&athy, *e&#ession, la/iness, an* sloth. "#uth +e tol*, it 7in* of f#ea7s me out an* *#ives me c#a/y. I feel
li7e going ove# to thei# house an* th#owing eggs at themI
I5ve witnesse* many 5&ic7u& inst#ucto#s5, an* with an o&en 5thi#* eye5 @the .itness stateA you sta#t to see how
*ee&ly f#ust#ate* they a#e with thei# stu*ents. "he#e is ve#y little awa#eness in this wo#l* of the sim&le fact that
&eo&le, *ee& *own, #eally *o love an* che#ish thei# own victimhoo*. "#y to #emove someone5s sec#et i*entity as
?the victim? an* you can en* u& c#eating an enemy fo# life.
La/iness is one thing, Beingness is Huite anothe#. .ith the la/y, ?slothy? man, the#e is ve#y little that can +e *one to
hel& them +ecause they a#e usually in *enial that they have fea#. So, the#e have to +e a willingness to a*mit, ?I am
af#ai*? as well as a willingness to wal7 th#ough fea#. .ithout this +asic willingness, I5ve lea#ne* to avoi* such
stu*ents as I *on5t feel Hualifie* enough to hel& them. It isn5t that I *on5t want to hel& them, it is sim&ly that I *o not
7now how.
I have hea#* that one of the fi#st things to loo7 into with *e&#ession, la/iness, a&athy, etc., is to get off of eating
suga#. Ne>t, the#e has to +e a willingness, as I sai*, to face fea#. "his, of cou#se, means getting off &#i*e so as to
+e willing to a*mit that one has fea# to +egin with. It is em+a##assing to a*mit this, yes, +ut all ego5s a#e the same
an* eve#y man must sim&ly wal7 th#ough fea#, en* of sto#y.
"hus, with sloth an* la/iness, &e#ha&s ?i*ea<asms? is not what5s going to +e the most hel&ful. May+e some "ony
:o++ins, o# the many &ic7u& inst#ucto#s f#om the se*uction community woul* +e mo#e suita+le. A teache# has to
7now his limitations, an* a teache# must *eci*e which 7in* of &eo&le he woul* li7e to wo#7 with. It isn5t that I ?hate?
the sloth guys, I sim&ly *on5t enBoy feeling li7e I want to th#ow things at them.
%A)SALI"J 18:S)S S4I:I")ALI"J
Since the maBo#ity of man7in* is still o&e#ating f#om the levels of 5&ossess5 as well as 5ta7e action5 *ue to +eing
i*entifie* with the ego$+o*y$min*$self 5meat &u&&et5 as 5the me5, man is essentially +lin*. Although the ?ta7e action
nowI? level is ve#y effective in the &ic7u& an* *ating wo#l*, it still ve#y much &#eclu*es9+loc7s9&#events t#ue Love
f#om +lossoming.
4e#sonal love is one thingG S&i#itual Love is Huite anothe#. "he &#o+lem with &e#sonal love is that it is +ase* on the
illusion that the#e is a 5me5 which loves a 5she5.
Mo#eove#, it naively &#esumes that love an* att#action a#e 5cause*5 +y the avoi*ance of some actions an* the
*emonst#ation of othe#s. "hus, it is too much wo#7.
In :eality, howeve#, Love has no 5cause5 in the same way g#avity has no 7nown 5cause5. <#avity sim&ly 5is5, an* so it
is with Love itself. In #unning a#oun* 5out the#e5 in the wo#l* t#ying to 5cause5 att#action an* love to 5ha&&en5 o# get
5t#igge#e*5, man7in* chases its own tail.
Man is essentially t#ying to &low th#ough a +#ic7 wall even though, all along, the#e is an* always has +een a nice
*oo# o&en the whole timeI Man sim&ly nee*s to +e taught to loo7 fo# the *oo#, an* he nee*s to wal7 th#ough that
*oo# all +y himself. "he &#o+lem is that he *oesn5t 7now what awaits him on the othe# si*e of this *oo#, an* this
7in* of fea# is often un+ea#a+le. "hus, he +ecomes &a#aly/e* +y an en*less se#ies of ?.hat if? an* ?.hat a+out
YJ;F? Huestions, an* it is those ve#y Huestions that &#event him f#om seeing the o+vious. His own S&i#it has +een
shining u&on him the whole time, yet he thin7s, ?I am the voices in this hea*.?
"he ego is ve#y &e#sistent in t#ying to convince you, that it is you. :enounce it.
Lea#ning the sim&le lesson of ?Cust Be? is &e#ha&s the single most *ifficult lesson one can lea#n, yet it is the most
#ewa#*ing. "he man who see7s an* wants nothing &a#a*o>ically o+tains the whole wo#l*. "hose few humans
whom have evolve* to the sim&le &oint of 5Bust +e5 have +een a#oun* fo# thousan*s of yea#s an* have *evise*
thousan*s of ways of attem&ting to teach man7in* to 5Bust +e5. .hen seen fo# what it #eally is, ALL t#ue me*itative
techniHues can &e#ha&s +e sai* to com&assionately ?t#ic7? &eo&le into #eali/ing they Bust nee* to BeG they only
nee* to sit *own an* 8>istI
,8ALIN< .I"H SHJN8SS
Shyness is a na#cissistic self$o+session. It is only conce#ne* a+out 5me5 an* not the woman. It is the#efo#e often
consi*e#e* ?c#ee&y.?
In the conte>t of teaching a shy man to Bust Be98>ist @i.e., *on5t 5*o5 anythingA in the &#esence of women, inva#ia+ly
ce#tain 5o+Bections5 will li7ely a#ise. 2o# one thing, the shy man is fa# f#om ve#y tal7ative an* has, in a sense, +een
*oing nothing all alongI An* whe#e *i* it get himF
Although the shy, hesitant, Huiet, 5nice5, 5&olite5 male a&&ea#s to me#ely 8>ist in the &#esence of women, his silence
is me#ely 5oute#5 +ut not 5inne#5.
.hile on the outsi*e he is Huiet an* nice, on the insi*e, Bust the o&&osite is occu##ing. His min* is fille* with
unanswe#a+le Huestions, &seu*o$&#o+lems, heavily gua#*e* +elief systems, false i*entifications, etc., an* the
#esulting incessant chatte# of thin7ingness. "he shy man is Huite on the outsi*e, noisy on the insi*e. Often, he *oes
not even hea# most of what women say to him, an* has to &#eten* that he un*e#stoo*. "he shy man5s min* is that
noisy.
On the outsi*e, many of these shy men have +ecome Huite a*e&t at mas7ing o# hi*ing thei# inne# chaos an* &ain.
Some even +ecome well$7nown an* highly #ega#*e* 5&ic7u& inst#ucto#s5, com&lete with wo#l*wi*e #e&utations, 5#oc7
sta#5 images, an* a#e actually Huite ingenious in the a#t of social mani&ulation, social enginee#ing. "he way to see
that many of the most well$7nown 5&ic7u& inst#ucto#s5 a#e actually only 5smooth5 on the outsi*e an* yet still ve#y
chaotic on the insi*e is to sim&ly o+se#ve how Huic7ly they all ten* to s&ea7 @i.e., most of them a#e 5moto#$mouths5A.
"hus, no matte# how cleve#ly *isguise*, one5s inne# chaos always fin*s a way to ?lea7 out?, without e>ce&tion. It is
one thing to womani/e with a small 5w5, +ut Huite anothe# to .omani/e with a ca&itol 5.5.
As has +een mentione* &#eviously, the 5&ic7u& inst#ucto#s5 in*ee* &#ovi*e a g#eat se#vice to men all ove# the wo#l*
in that they ten* to get men out of thei# ho&eless shyness an* into the ?#eal wo#l*? of &ic7u&, *ating, att#action,
infatuation, se>uality, an* &e#sonal love. But, the Huestion a#ises, ?Is the#e a sim&le#, easie# wayF?
In othe# wo#*s, is it &ossi+le fo# the ho&elessly shy man to s7i& the level of 5action$o#iente*5 &ic7u& an* @Huic7lyIA
lea#n to sim&ly Be, o# sim&ly 8>ist while in the &#esence of +eautiful womenF .ill the shy man who suffe#s f#om
inne#$chaos +e a+le to &ull this offF %an he s7i& levels of consciousness an* *iscove# the Sou#ce of S&i#itual Love
in a sho#t &e#io* of timeF
Inasmuch as Love an* man5s S&i#it a#e one an* the same thing, an* man is not a 5meat &u&&et5 +ut is actually
S&i#it, the answe# is ve#y o+viously a #esoun*ing yesI
Man nee* only tu#n within to fin* his t#ue Self via the sim&le *ecision to #enounce the 5meat$&u&&et5 an* #efuse to
call it 5me5. @.ith even a small amount of since#e #e&etition an* &#actice, it eventually +egins to 5clic75.A
In loo7ing fo# the Self, ?shy guy? can only +e *estine* to successfully fin* it, fo# it is his t#ue Self. Cesus %h#ist sai*,
?See7 an* you shall fin*?, an* who a#e we to even Huestion the wo#* of the mi#acle$man HimselfF It woul* +e Huite
a##ogant to &#esume Cesus %h#ist was 5lying5, woul* it notF
It is one thing to +e silent on the outsi*e, +ut Huite anothe# to +e silent within. But, Bust as the ine>&e#ience*,
socially ine&t, shy, insecu#e, min*$i*entifie*, &#i*eful, naive, innocent man can lea#n to mimic ce#tain social
+ehavio#s an* *evelo& 5action$o#iente*5 &atte#ns of +o*y$language an* ve#+ali/ation an* come to enBoy a ce#tain
amount of success in the a#t of womani/ing with a small 5w5, so it is with the s&i#itual a&&#oach to lea#ning to
.omani/e with a ca&itol 5.5.
"hat is, Bust as you can eventually lea#n to ?act as if? you5#e a 5cool5 o# 5al&ha5 guy +y mi##o#ing an* mimic7ing the
+ehavio#al &atte#ns of the 5&ic7u& a#tists5, you can also lea#n to ?act as if? you5#e al#ea*y a semi$enlightene*
.omani/e# with a ca&itol 5.5. Cust as you can choose +etween lea#ning +owling ve#sus tennis, so can you also
choose to lea#n S&i#itual Love instea* of 5action$+ase*5 love. It is only a matte# of choice. Jou# S&i#it is the#e,
constantly at all times in the +ac7g#oun*G it me#ely awaits activation. No matte# what you# level of consciousness it,
you# S&i#it is still the#e, waiting.
A%"IN< ?AS I2?
4e#ha&s even the most actively chaotic an* 5st#esse* out5 min* can +e heale* an* even silence* via the
su#&#isingly sim&le techniHue of ?acting as if? you# min* is al#ea*y &eaceful, t#anHuil, an* silent. I want to sha#e with
you, since#ely, that you only nee* to 1isuali/e you# min* as +eing silent eve#y so often an* it will sta#t to ha&&en.
@Silence is not *iffe#ent f#om LoveG they5#e one an* the same thing.A 8ve#y so often, you can calmly state, ?My min*
is +ecoming silent? an* it will +egin to ha&&en, &e#ha&s much Huic7e# than you #eali/e. It isn5t the wo#*s that a#e
im&o#tant, +ut you# intention of, ?I t#uly want Love.?
"he#efo#e, imagine how nice it woul* +e if you# min* was less chaotic an* noisy... what if the inne#$voices +egan to
soften, calm *own, an* +egan to whis&e#F "a7e a moment to slow *own... ma7e the voices in you# min* whis&e# to
you softly... eve#y so often, when you fin* they5ve #etu#ne* to +eing lou* again, sim&ly tell you# ego$self,
?Shhhhh....? in a most calm, &eaceful, an* gentle way. 2o#give the min* continuouslyG it is a somewhat slow
lea#ne#G it nee*s gentle #e&etition, loving &atience, an* constant, f#ien*ly #emin*e#s. "hat is all.
?Shhhh...? wo#7e* ve#y well on you as a +a+y, *i*n5t itF
S&en* the *ay going, ?Shhhh...? eve#y now an* again.
Jou5* +e su#&#ise* how Huic7ly you can +ecome an a*vance* )ncon*itionally Loving .omani/e# with this sim&le
&#actice. Offe# the calm, &eaceful ene#gy of ?Shhhh...? to you# min*, an* give it a little time to 5catch on5 an*
welcome the healing. Once you get goo* at this, you may fin* that even the most st#esse* out an* an>ious women
you *eal with can +e given the healing gift of ?Shhhh...? an* will #es&on* Huite favo#a+lyG some will even c#y in you#
a#ms.
A caveatG *on5t sta#t going ?Shhhh...? to women Bust yetG get you# own min* heale* u& fi#st, othe#wise you# well$
inten*e* ?Shhhhh...? to women will feel incong#uous, &e#ha&s even con*escen*ing to them. "he man who suffe#s
f#om inne# chaos is not #ea*y to offe# women &eace. "he#efo#e, <o 2i#st. Lea#n to whis&e# in you# min*G this will
signal to you# S&i#it that you a#e ?#i&e? an* ?#ea*y? fo# it to shine fo#th an* illuminate you# consciousness with Bliss.
13. "he 5Meaning5 Behin* 2emale 8motions An* Behavio#
,ue to the &e#ce&tual *isto#tions of the intellect, in the conte>t of womani/ing, men unfo#tunately ma7e a c#itical
e##o# in that they &#esume themselves to +e the 5causal5 agent of a woman5s #es&onses. 2#om the &oint of view of
the 5action$o#iente*5 &a#a*igm of &ic7u&, it is sai* that men must lea#n to ta7e #es&onsi+ility fo# thei# 5actions5 as well
as fo# the 5#esults5 in the conc#ete 5#eal wo#l*5 @i.e., the wo#l* of &e#ce&tual limitationA with women an* *ating. Men
a#e to go out 5in the fiel*5 an* must then lea#n to say an* 5*o5 ce#tain things an* @ho&efullyA not othe#s. If they can
successfully lea#n to 5*o5 the 5#ight5 things, it the#e+y inc#eases thei# chances of 5causing5 women to feel att#action,
se>ual e>citement, an* &e#ha&s even love. "hus, men a#e su+liminally taught that success is 5goo*5 while failu#e is
5+a*5, which unconsciously stems f#om the 5cause an* effect5 &a#a*igm. @2o# most men, this level of consciousness
will +e satisfacto#y.A
St#ictly f#om the &oint of view of the intellect, this limiting 5cause5 an* 5effect5 &a#a*igm is Huite useful, &#agmatic,
an* at least semi$#ealistic in that it #esults in an inc#ease in the ove#all &e#centages of one5s success with women
an* sociali/ation. Success is sai* to +#ee* eve#mo#e success, an* afte# all, success is what is gene#ally +elieve*
will lea* to ha&&iness.
.hen all of this is viewe* f#om a highe# &a#a*igm an* *ee&e# conte>t, one comes to see that success is me#ely a
&oint of view, an* &e#ha&s #athe# astonishingly, one5s *esi#e fo# success is a g#eat +a##ie#, limitation, an* mo#e
often than not is a &athway to suffe#ing, &ain, an* enslavement. .hen viewe* f#om a highe# &lace, success an*
failu#e a#e seen as ?two si*es of the same coin? in that they a#e +oth t#ansient non$issues. Mo#eove#, success can
+e ve#y ?*ange#ous? in that it often #esults in the illusion that one =nows "#uth, when in #eality one only 7nows
thoughts, sym+ols, i*eas, fo#mulas, +elief systems, etc., which a#e all +ase* on the &e#ce&tual illusion of 5cause5
an* 5effect5. "he intellect is a nice tool +ut it is also one5s &#ison.
2#om the st#ict view&oint of S&i#itual :eality, all seeming ?events? in the wo#l* actually have an innume#a+le
num+e# of 5causes5, all of which +len* into each othe# as Oneness.
Only <o*9Allness is #ealG all else is illuso#y.
"he enti#e )nive#se is seen as a continuous Oneness which eme#ges automatically in the e>act s&lit secon* of the
unfol*ing 8te#nal Now. "hus, the#e is neve# a 5this5 which can cause a 5that5 unless it is in the min* of the o+se#ve#
@i.e., &e#ce&tionA which s&lits eve#ything into a *uality. In "#uth, *uality is me#ely an egoic &e#ce&tual illusion. Only
Oneness has any e>istenceG se&a#ateness is not #eal. Only <o* is #eal. 5Non$<o*5 is not a &ossi+ility e>ce&t in
one5s min*.
8Y48:I8N%IN< A MACO: L8A4 @ASA4IA
4e#ha&s the single most f#uitful affi#mation to hol* in min* *u#ing one5s *aily activities as a contem&lation is,
?Nothing is causing anythingG the Oneness of Life is unfol*ing s&ontaneously of its own.? .ith the willingness to let
go of the &#esum&tion of 5cause an* effect5, S&i#itual 1ision &#og#essively #e&laces ego &e#ce&tion. "he suggestion
is to use this affi#mation in conBunction with the .itnessing &#actice @&e#i&he#al vision M +#eathingA, as +oth
techniHues a#e in alignment with an* #einfo#ce each othe#. @2o# the #ea*e# who wishes to e>&e#ience a *#amatic
lea& in the level of consciousness, the suggestion is to s&en* seve#al *ays #e&eating the affi#mation ?li7e a +#o7en
#eco#*? along with the &#actice of .itnessing.A
.hen the 5action$o#iente*5 man *eci*es he will lea#n &ic7u& o# womani/ing, he has automatically ?ca&&e*? the level
of success of which he can achieve *ue to seeing himself as the su&&ose* 5cause5 of a woman5s social an*
emotional #es&onses. .ith &e#sistence an* *e*ication, he will enBoy a ce#tain amount of success 5in the fiel*5 yet he
will not *iscove# t#ue Love *ue to the inhe#ent limitations of his intellect @i.e., 5causality5A. .ith the &#esum&tion of
5cause an* effect5, S&i#itual Love is not &ossi+le.
NO"HIN< M8ANS ANJ"HIN<
If the ?&ic7u& a#tist? is &a#ticula#ly gifte* an* Huite fo#tunate, th#ough t#ial an* e##o# as well as much #eBection, &ain,
an* suffe#ing, he will come to lea#n that ce#tain female +ehavio#s have ce#tain meanings an* not othe#s. 2o#
instance, if a woman as7s, ?,o you *o this to all the gi#lsF?, when viewe* f#om intellect9causality, he comes to
c#eate a +elief such as, ?.hen a woman as7s if I *o this to all the gi#ls, it means that she is testing me in some
way.? .ith eve#mo#e e>&e#ience, the im+ue* ?meaning? will #i&en an* matu#e. In time, &e#ha&s the meaning of
such a Huestion may ta7e the fo#m of, ?She5s testing me to fin* out if I am wea7, nee*y, an* can +e cont#olle*.?
.ith &atience, *e*ication, testing, an* mo#e t#ial an* e##o#, he lea#ns to #es&on* to that &a#ticula# Huestion with, ?I
only say things li7e this to gi#ls who seem easy.? In this way, he successfully conveys to he# that he is &#i*eful,
5coc7y$funny5, fea#less, an* at least somewhat confi*ent.
Befo#e long, this man will li7ely tu#n himself into a &e#fecte* social$#o+ot, com&lete with all of the 5#ight5 #es&onses to
any social situation. Many such 5&ic7u& a#tists5 can #each levels of social enginee#ing that can only +e *esc#i+e* as
&u#e genius. 2#om the intellectual &oint of view of 5causality5 an* 5meaning5, that is. But, f#om the &oint of view of
Integ#ity, something is lac7ing, an* that something is Love.
Although the intellect is a &owe#ful tool an* a won*e#ful toy, when seen fo# what it is, one comes to #eali/e the
chil*ishness an* inhe#ent naivety in that the intellect cannot go any highe# than 5cause5, 5effect5, an* 5meaning5 @it
the#efo#e cannot 7now LoveA. "his is +ecause Love has no 5cause5, Love is not an 5effect5, an* the meaning of
Love... is Love itself.
"he#e is no 5this5 causing a 5that5. "he &ool cue *i*n5t 5cause5 the +illia#* +all to move at all. If we wi*en the lens, we
see that a human was hol*ing the &ool cue. But, the human *i* not 5cause5 the +all to #oll. "he human ha* to +e in
a #oom, an* the #oom ha* to +e in a +uil*ing, an* the +uil*ing ha* to +e in a cityG the city is in a count#y, the count#y
is on the &lanet, an* the &lanet is a small s&ec7 in the "otal )nive#se. "hus, all 5causes5 a#e me#ely a#+it#a#ily
selecte*. 8ve#y single ?event? in the wo#l* always inclu*es the enti#e )nive#se th#oughout all of time. 8ve#ything
has innume#a+le 5causes5G eve#ything is One.
Only Love is #ealG Love is Oneness. Of cou#se, Love is Bust a wo#*. It is an attem&t to *esc#i+e the Oneness of
innume#a+le 5causes5.
2#om this highe# view&oint, nothing ?means? anything. One5s thoughts *on5t mean anything, a woman5s #es&onses
*on5t mean anything, etc. Something *oes not mean something else @e>ce&t f#om the view &oint of *uality9intellectA.
.ith s&i#itual wo#7, one comes to un*e#stan* that in :eality, nothing means anything, o# to &ut it *iffe#ently, the
meaning of something is sim&ly what it is. "hus, when a woman #es&on*s, ?,o you say this to all of the gi#lsF? it
#eality, it means nothing. It *oesn5t mean she was ?testing? you, no# *oes it mean she has any t#ic7s u& he# sleeve.
In t#uth, the meaning of the Huestion, ?,o you say this to all of the gi#lsF? is that the Huestion, ?,o you say this to all
of the gi#lsF? has +een as7e*. "o a** meaning onto he# Huestion is only a &#oBection9imagination f#om the
intellectual min*.
"his +#ings u& an im&o#tant &oint, that of intention. "he Huestion, ?,o you say this to all of the gi#lsF? may in*ee*
have some 7in* of hi**en intention +ehin* it. She may +e as7ing a sim&le, lite#al Huestion +ecause she wants a
sim&le, lite#al #es&onse. O#, she may +e &laying games, o# testing, o# feeling insecu#e, 5c#ee&e* out5, an* so on.
"he Huestion +ecomes, ?How *o we lea#n to 5#ea*5 womenF?
How *oes one lea#n how to han*le all of the va#ious an* highly com&le> systems an* +eliefs an* &#og#ams an*
social con*itioning an* emotional #es&onses of someone as highly com&le> as a womanF
"he +est you can eve# *o, is Bust Love he#. Cust enBoy he# +eauty, an* se#ve he#.
SO%IAL A,A4"I1I"JK "H8 ,)ALIS"I% 4OISON
2#om the view of the &ositively$min*e* intellect, eve#ything a woman says an* *oes is seen as an o&&o#tunity to
*evelo& one5s set of social #es&onses in o#*e# to inc#ease one5s ove#all social fle>i+ility. In enginee#ing, it is well$
7nown that the most fle>i+le system in any set of com&le> systems will *ominate. 2le>i+ility an* a*a&tiveness is
7ing. "o the intellectuali/e* social enginee#, social fle>i+ility an* a*a&tiveness to even the most socially aw7wa#*
situations is soon *evelo&e* to an im&#essive *eg#ee, in*ee*. Howeve#, a*a&tiveness *oes not lea* to Love.
2#om the st#ict s&i#itual view&oint of Love itself, the womani/e#5s inc#e*i+le fle>i+ility an* a*a&tiveness E inclu*ing
the #esulting massive success he enBoys with women E a#e actually his most *ange#ous +lin* s&ot an* his g#eatest
limitation. In lea#ning to a*a&t to a woman5s com&le>ities an* emotionalities, un+e7nown to him, he +ecomes
enslave* +y his own en*less @an* highly fle>i+leA se#ies of sociali/e* #es&onses. On a su#face level, while he
in*ee* enBoys sta#tling an* im&#essive success with women, it is those ve#y successes which #einfo#ce his s&i#itual
+lin* s&ots an* &#eclu*e Love.
Success in social enginee#ing is one thingG Love is anothe#.
INNO%8N%8 IS "H8 %):8 2O: 4OISON
Nothing a woman eve# says o# *oes means anything. "he highest way to *eal with women is on a lite#al level. If
she as7s, ?,o you say this to all the gi#lsF? one only has to answe# he# *i#ectly, &owe#fully, since#ely, lite#ally, an*
honestly. In so *oing, howeve#, the &e#centage of one5s success 5in the fiel*5 will su#ely *#o&. 2o# t#ue Love to
+lossom, the#e has to +e a willingness to follow a much st#icte# an* na##owe# &athway. One must su##en*e# to
Huality an* not Huantity.
"he woman who as7s insince#e Huestions with sec#et hi**en intentions an* 5s&ecial im&o#tant meanings5 +ehin*
those Huestions is not a woman at all +ut me#ely still a chil*. On the othe# han*, an Integ#ous woman *oesn5t &lay
games. .hen she as7s a Huestion, it is st#ictly +ecause she wishes to as7 an honest Huestion an* she ho&es to get
an honest answe#. Since#e, o&en, innocent communication is a highe# value than min*$#ea*ing, social fle>i+ility, o#
coc7y$funny.
An integ#ous woman *oes not #eHui#e you to +ecome he# &sychiat#ist, no# *oes she &a#ticula#ly *esi#e that you
&ossess ve#y much social fle>i+ility. It is enough to sim&ly wal7 ove# the#e an* say hello to he#. Love is enough.
At this &oint, the #ea*e# can as7 himself, ?.hat is it that I want f#om a womanF?
"o s&ea7 f#an7ly, *o you #eally ca#e if a women is socially cleve#F ,oes it #eally matte# to you that she +e a*e&t
an* well$t#aine* in the a#t of coc7y$funnyF .hen out with you# male f#ien*s, is it #eally necessa#y fo# he# to fi#st
+ef#ien* you# &ee# g#ou& using ?social *ynamics? +efo#e she can allow he#self to s&ea7 to youF
.ith honesty, one comes to #eali/e that in t#uth, the#e is nothing one wants o# nee*s f#om women at allI One is
ha&&y to me#ely Be with a woman, an* *oesn5t #eHui#e he# to &ossess e#u*ite social s7ills no# intellectual &#owess.
Mo*est goo* loo7s @healthA an* innocence a#e #eally what one wants, an* so it is with fun*amentally Integ#ous
women. "hey *on5t nee* anything fancy an* a&&#eciate you# innocent 4#esence mo#e than anything else inclu*ing
intellectual so&histication an* even goo* loo7s.
Love has no #eHui#ements othe# than Love.
.hile #i*ing the +us to*ay, an es&ecially +eautiful young woman came an* sat *own +ehin* me ne>t to a young
college man. It was o+vious that they went to the same school an* we#e acHuaintances. Also o+vious was that this
young man was clea#ly att#acte* to he# @she was &a#ticula#ly stunningA. 2o# the ne>t 20 minutes, they s&o7e a+out
eve#ything othe# than what is t#uly im&o#tant in life. "hey s&o7e a+out *etails such as classes an* sche*ules an*
o&inions. "hus, neithe# att#action no# Love we#e given &e#mission to +#eathe. "he intellect &#eclu*es9+loc7s9cho7es
Love.
In t#ying to 5cause5 att#action an* Love, this young man misse* the fo#est fo# the t#ees. Mo#eove#, in t#ying to
5succee*5 he was una+le to *isce#n the sim&le an* ve#y clea# fact that this young woman, *es&ite he# goo* loo7s,
was ve#y clea#ly non$integ#ous @e.g., fa7e laughte#, too much emotion, e>agge#ate* claims, too much &#i*e, etc.A.
SIM4LI%I"J
2un*amentally honest an* integ#ous women gene#ally ma7e life easy, while fun*amentally *ishonest, non$
integ#ous women gene#ally ma7e life *ifficult, com&le>, confusing, an* usually #eHui#e cleve#ness, 5coc7y$funny5,
5&ush$&ull5, sa#casm, su+tle 5&ut *owns5 o# so$calle* ?Negs?, sma#t social enginee#ing, *emonst#ations of &#i*e, an*
mo#e.
Sim&licity is +estG it can +e t#uste* an* #elie* u&on mo#e than any othe# tem&ting o&tions.
"he a#t of .omani/e is me#ely a #etu#n to innocence. It willingly sac#ifices su&e#ficial success an* high
&e#centages in favo# of s&i#itual success an* @may+eA lowe# &e#centages. 1e#y few women a#e ca&a+le of even the
most +asic integ#ity. "he wise *o not get entangle* in t#ying to 5win5, +e 5#ight5, an* 5succee*5 fo# they see th#ough
such illusions. Only Love is #eal, the#efo#e, only Love has value.
"he way to answe# a woman5s Huestions is to sim&ly +e lite#al, an* to &#esume she is +eing lite#al @even if she
might +e &laying gamesA. Instea* of +eing 5sma#t5 one +ecomes Innocent an* sim&ly ta7es women lite#ally an*
#es&on*s to them lite#ally +ase* on the un*e#stan*ing that Love actually has no 5cause5 an* nothing 5means5
something else. It is enough to Love .omen, t#uly, it is a+solutely an* Huite lite#ally enough. .hen this is
un*e#stoo*, att#action then +egins to ha&&en s&ontaneously of its own an* Love soon follows. Life +ecomes easy.
@"he &e#centages will +e high enough to satisfy even the most g#ee*y ego.A
Being sim&le, gentle, semi$silent, *i#ect, an* es&ecially lite#al has a won*e#ful ten*ency to att#act Integ#ous women
an* intimi*ate o# even #e&el non$integ#ous women. By cont#ast, +eing socially a*a&tive an* fle>i+le @f#om an
intellectual levelA ten*s to sc#een out Integ#ous women an* att#acts the non$integ#ous.
Of cou#se, society is fille* with &lenty of e>ce&tions, an* it is not uncommon fo# fun*amentally honest &eo&le to en*
u& with the non$integ#ous. Howeve#, in wo#7ing with va#ious men on this &a#ticula# issue fo# some time now, mo#e
often than not, u&on investigating how the initial 5&ic7u&5 went *own, it is #eveale* that these men *i* not a*he#e to
the ?+e lite#al at all times? f#ame. ,ue to 5causality5 an* sea#ching fo# 5meaning5, they ma*e themselves too fle>i+le
an* too socially a*a&tive in o#*e# to 5succee*5. ,esi#e fo# success +lin*s an* *ulls one5s *isce#nment.
:8LINO)ISHIN< "H8 ,8SI:8 2O: S)%%8SS
I thin7 you5ll fin* that +y letting go of t#ying to fin* 5meaning5 within a woman5s mo#ass of com&le> +ehavio#al
&atte#ns, along with letting go of t#ying to 5socially a*a&t5 to he# in o#*e# to 5succee*5, this will sim&lify you# life
immensely an* heal a whole se#ies of unconscious *ualities an* +elief systems at the same time. It is a #eal Boy to
*iscove# that nothing a woman says o# *oes has any s&ecial 5meaning5 an* lea*s to slee&ing much +ette# at night,
to say the leastI Min*$#ea*ing lea*s to confusionG innocence lea*s to Love.
?Nothing women say o# *o means anything.? It may +e f#uitful to hol* this sentence in min* an* contem&late it, as it
will lea* to a much *ee&e# un*e#stan*ing of this +asic s&i#itual t#uth. "o*ay5s lessons a#e &a#ticula#ly &owe#ful an*
shoul* #i&en ove# time via familia#ity an* consistency, along with a since#e ?fi#e in the +elly? to #each a high state of
awa#eness an* S&i#itual Love. @:ea*ing is one thing, *isci&line* contem&lation9integ#ation is Huite anothe#.A
H8ALIN< "H8 4AS"
"he min* wants to cling to the fallacious i*ea that one thing coul* 5mean5 something else @it can +e Huite tenacious
in its o&inionsA. "he#efo#e, it can ta7e time, &atience, an* #e&etition fo# this sim&le lesson to #eally ?sin7 in? an*
#i&en.
"he#efo#e, one mo#e suggestion, if I may.
"his ?nothing means anything? is a &#ofoun* lessonG &e#ha&s much mo#e &#ofoun* than one might initially thin7.
"he ty&ical stu*ent who *oes not yet fully g#as& the &owe# of to*ay5s lesson woul* +e missing out on mo#e Bliss
than he #eali/es. "he#efo#e, how can I, the w#ite#, get this &oint ac#ossF 4eo&le often #ea* a lesson, an* then they
can5t wait until tomo##ow5s lesson. :a#e is the man who a&&lies what he #ea*s.
.hen the man who *oesn5t yet g#as& that ?nothing means anything else? a&&#oaches a woman an* she says, fo#
e>am&le, ?"han7s, +ut I have a +oyf#ien*?, the man can5t hel& +ut to wal7 away feeling somewhat *eflate*,
*eBecte*, an* *iscou#age*. He thin7s, ?"hat5s (3 women in a #ow who have a +oyf#ien*...? an* can5t hel& +ut to
@un*e#stan*a+lyA won*e# if he is *oing something w#ong *u#ing his many a&&#oaches.
In t#uth, he &#o+a+ly is *oing a whole se#ies of 5w#ong things5 *u#ing his a&&#oach. 4e#ha&s a s7ille* 5&ic7u&
inst#ucto#5 woul* +e a+le to &oint out ce#tain limiting &atte#ns #ea#*ing his ve#+al an* non$ve#+al ?game? that woul*
+e useful fo# him to +e a+le to inc#ease his &e#centages o# ?close #atio.?
"he &#o+lem with this is that he woul* still +e *ealing on the level of 5causality5.
Now, f#om a much highe# s&i#itual view, the ve#y sim&le act of a&&#oaching a woman, fin*ing out she may o# may
not +e ?+lowing him off? with an e>cuse, an* then loo7ing +ac7 on his a&&#oach an* as7ing himself, ?.hat *oes the
woman5s +ehavio# meanF? is the ve#y #oot of his &#o+lem. "he Huestion itself is the whole &#o+lemI
:athe# than t#ying to *eci&he# meaning @an* the#e+y falling +ac7 into the &a#a*igm of 5causality5A, the suggestion is
to Bum& to a highe# &a#a*igm, +y leaving the ol* &a#a*igm +ehin*.
In the s&lit$secon* moment afte# a so$calle* ?failu#e? with an a&&#oach, you a#e face* with two choicesK
1. Loo7 +ac7, analy/e you# a&&#oach, t#y to *iscove# semi$useful 5meanings5 so that you can im&#ove you#
communication s7ills an* eventually lea#n how to 5cause5 g#eate# att#action an* highe# close &e#centages,
O:K
2. 2o#get the enti#e a&&#oach the moment you wal7 away f#om any womanG let go of you# *esi#e to loo7 +ac7 an*
*eci&he# meaning, an* ente# the state of ,ivine Stu&i*ity on the s&ot, com&letely letting go of the woman @an* of
you# memo#y of the enti#e inte#actionA.
%hoosing o&tion 2 is going to +e *ifficult, initially... Let5s not 7i* ou#selves he#e. It is going to +e *ifficult, yes,
+ecause the min* is a**icte* to t#ying to fin* 5the meaning5 in eve#ything. @It +elieves it must *o this in o#*e# to 5win5
an* to su#vive.A
%hoosing o&tion 1 is still a #easona+le, logical, an* effective choice that can lea* to im&#ovements in you# ?game?,
+ut it *oes not lea* to humility no# S&i#itual Love. It lea*s to the illusion of ?I 7now?, an* to the *ualistic illusion of
5cause an* effect5.
"he secon* o&tion that we might call A*vance* ,ivine Stu&i*ity actually is mo#e *ifficult initially +ut lea*s to a ve#y
#a&i* an* even inc#e*i+le amount of ?game? @+ette# +o*y$language, smoothe# communication, etc.A +ecause it is
f#ee f#om +eing conce#ne*, having #eg#et, intellectual analysis, 5causality5, min*$#ea*ing, an* st#ess.
As st#ess *issolves, one +ecomes a ?natu#al? with women as the +o*y$language an* communication style a#e
given a chance to +e auto$heale* in a ve#y sho#t &e#io* of time.
Again, the#e is nothing you nee* to ?*o? afte# an a&&#oach to im&#ove you#self. Cust fo#get the gi#lI "he willingness
to let he# go on the s&ot c#eates a s&ace fo# 7un*alini ene#gy. @"he a**iction to loo7ing +ac7 an* thin7ing a+out
you# a&&#oach +loc7s 7un*alini.A
A*vance* ,ivine Stu&i*ity can also +e a&&lie* to &ainful +#ea7u&s as well. .hile the ave#age man woul* choose
O&tion 1 an* want to loo7 +ac7 u&on his #elationshi& an* t#y to *eci&he# 5meanings5 an* 5causes5 @an* may even
lea#n a thing o# two to im&#ove himselfA, the stu*ent of A*vance* ,ivine Stu&i*ity Huic7ly lea#ns that the +est @an*
Huic7estA way to im&#ove himself fo# his futu#e #elationshi&s is lite#ally to let he# go the moment the #elationshi& has
en*e*, not giving he# anothe# single thought.
"o the min*, this seems col*, ha#sh, an* unca#ing. In society, we a#e taught to g#ieveG to feel u&set, sa*, an*
?+#o7en hea#te*? is unconsciously +elieve* to +e some 7in* of ?&#oof? that you# love was legitimate an* #eal.
8motionality is wo#shi&&e* in ou# society, along with the intellect. Howeve#, sc#i&tu#e ve#y clea#ly states, ?"hou
shalt have no othe# go*s +efo#e Me?, it *oes not say, ?"hou shall wo#shi& the min* an* emotions.?
"o wo#shi& <o* an* hol* 5Him5 as the Su&#eme, it is necessa#y to igno#e the intellectual *esi#e to analy/e an* fin*
meaning, an* instea* #etu#n to the .itness state in the 8te#nal Now again an* again. Sim&ly .itness the "otality of
what is ?ha&&ening #ight now? an* you5ll &#og#essively sta#t to +ecome the Now.
<o* is easily foun* as soon as one lets go of the &ast an* #etu#ns, ove# an* ove#, to the .itness state an* lea#ns
to live on ?the c#est of the wave? of the 8te#nal Now. .ith *isci&line an* focus, one #a&i*ly ma7es a sta#tling
*iscove#y, which is that the 8te#nal Now is actually one5s t#ue Self an* always has +een.
Nothing means something else. Nothing ?means? anythingI All meaning is a &#oBection, an illusion, an o&inion
+ase* on nothing othe# than intellectual ana#chy an* &om&.
"he +#o7en #elationshi& ?means? that a #elationshi& has en*e*. Bette# it is to +e Stu&i* than to t#y to ?lea#n? all
7in*s of intellectual things. ,ivine Stu&i*ity, &a#a*o>ically, lea*s to g#eat .is*om @*o this w#ite# seem ?clueless? o#
?unwise? to youFA
"he less you 7now a+out what *i* o# *i*n5t ha&&en to the #elationshi&, the +ette#I
"he (3th woman in a #ow who says, ?So##y, +ut I have a +oyf#ien*? sim&ly means that the (3th woman has utte#e*
those wo#*s. .e#e the wo#*s t#uthfulF O#, was she t#ying to get #i* of youF
.ho ca#es.
She5s +eing t#uthful, o# lyingF So whatI It lite#ally *oes not matte#. Nothing ?matte#s?, only Love actually has any
significant meaning o# value.
?I t#uly want Love in my life? means that you t#uly want it, an* a#e the#efo#e willing to let go of ?loo7ing +ac7? on you#
&ic7u&s, *ates, an* even you# &ast #elationshi&s... #etu#ning to the .itness state ove# an* ove#. @It *oes get easie#
with &#actice.A
.hat a woman thin7s, o# *oesn5t thin7, o# wants o# *oesn5t want, o# loves o# *oesn5t love... it5s all the same. None
of it means anything. .hateve# you# conce#ns a#e, whateve# you# fea#s a#e, they will ALL +e heale* when you let
go of ?loo7ing +ac7? an* t#ying to fin* ?meaning.?
"o hel& heal you# &ast ?failu#es? with women, &ic7u&, *ating, an* #elationshi&s, it may +e Huite hel&ful to actually
#eview you# memo#ies, +ut, while you *o, gently #emin* the ego$self that none of it meant anything a+out you. I5ll
even suggest ma7ing a list of you# &ast ?t#aumas? with women an* going ove# each one of them. None of it meant
anything, an* the soone# you ?get? what A*vance* ,ivine Stu&i*ity is a+out, the +ette#. .aste no time. :eview the
memo#ies one last time, an* +e willing to let them go. "he only thing that means anything of value is Love.
1'. Healing "he 8go9Ba+y
8ve#yone5s ego is mo#e$o#$less the same +ecause the ego itself isn5t 5&e#sonal5 +ut is actually im&e#sonal. It is Bust
the animal +#ain, *oing what it is 5su&&ose*5 to +e *oing to su#vive. It is im&o#tant to see the ego9min* as
im&e#sonal, innocent, an* naive.
Im&e#sonal, innocent, an* naive.
Not only is it animal$li7e, +ut chil*$li7e.
It is +uilt on na#cissistic &#i*e. Now, what ha&&ens insi*e when you say the wo#*s 5na#cissistic &#i*e5F .hat 7in* of
state *oes it &lace you inF If you5#e li7e most &eo&le, it &laces you in a state of shame, guilt, an* &a#a*o>ically,
MO:8 &#i*e to a ce#tain *eg#ee. "he min* loves to classify eve#ything in te#ms of goo*9+a*, #ight9w#ong,
f#ien*9enemy, etc. So, when it lea#ns a+out na#cissistic &#i*e, an* it comes to lea#n all a+out how limiting
na#cissistic &#i*e #eally is, how it &#eclu*es Love, how it ?*est#oys? one5s a+ility to .omani/e, an* so on... we often
can5t hel& +ut to 5loo7 *own5 on 4#i*e.
Loo7ing 5*own5 on &#i*e is a mista7e that must +e co##ecte*, +ecause when you sto& 5loo7ing *own5 on it, you5ll
+#ea7 you# i*entification with it an* it will sta#t to heal an* *issolve, in *ue time. Once a man sna&s out of his ,enial
an* +egins to see 4#i*e fo# how limiting it #eally is, the ne>t ste& is to fo#give an* lea#n to acce&t it.
H)MO:
4#i*e is actually hila#ious, funny, cute, naive, innocent, an* ve#y ente#taining, to say the least. One way to heal
&#i*e is to sta#t ma7ing fun of it, #ight out in the o&en. 4e#ha&s it is +est to sta#t 5ma7ing fun5 of the ve#y co#e of what
4#i*e is. Jou see, eve#ything going on in the )nive#se is actually <o*5s %#eation. Jou# +o*y$min* was c#eate* +y
<o*, +ut the ego *oesn5t 7now that. "he ego *oesn5t #eali/e that <o* is #eally Bust Allness o# 8ve#ythingness
without e>ce&tion. In :eality, the#e is no ?non$go*? anywhe#e to +e foun*. All is <o*, an* <o* is All.
Now, the ego *oesn5t 7now that +ecause it is Bust a little animal. Since it *oesn5t 7now whe#e it came f#om an* has
no i*ea whe#e it will go when the +o*y falls to the g#oun*, in o#*e# to 5fill in the +lan7s5, the ego Bust ta7es c#e*it fo#
eve#ything.
"he ego ta7es c#e*it fo# each &assing moment of e>istence.
In t#uth, howeve#, eve#ything is ha&&ening s&ontaneously an* automatically of its own... Jou# +#eathing... you#
hea#t+eat... you# hai# g#owth... even you# wal7ing an* tal7ing is ha&&ening s&ontaneously an* automatically. If you
ha* to thin7 a+out an* 5#un5 all of these things, you woul* have gone ma* long, long ago.
"hus, it isn5t ?you#? +#eathing at all. Life is an automatic unfol*ment.
It is &#etty easy to see how the ego naively an* ve#y innocently ta7es c#e*it fo# eve#ything. Again, it has no i*ea
whe#e it came f#om, how it got he#e, o# what to *o a+out it. "hus, it latches on to eve#y &assing moment, ta7es
c#e*it an* owne#shi& of eve#ything, an* calls it 5me5 an* 5mine5. My +#eathingI My hea#t+eatI My memo#iesI My
thoughtsI Me, me, me. Cust li7e a 5+ig +a+y5.
Na#cissism is #eally Bust a 57ing +a+y5 attitu*e.
.ell, the a*ve#tising, ma#7eting, an* the Inte#net 7nows this. It 7nows, on some level, that ego5s a#e highly
na#cissistic an* 5in love5 with themselves. "he ego is 5in love5 with itself +ecause <o*5s %#eation #eally is
magnificent. Since it naively ta7es c#e*it an* thin7s <o*5s %#eation #e&#esents 5me5 an* 5mine5, O2 %O):S8 it is
going to +e &#ou* an* na#cissisticI
8go$+a+y thin7s that it is <o*I
"he ma#7eting wo#l* 7nows this. MyS&ace, MyBlog, MyO&inion, My 2ace+oo7... My, oh MyI Me, me, me.
.on*e#ful me.
"he ma#7ete#s 7now how to a&&eal to +a+ies.
Of cou#se the ego is 5in love5 with itselfG <o*5s ,ivine %#eation is #eally s&ectacula#. "hus, we see the innocent
mista7e, the naivety, an* es&ecially the humo#. "he ego is #i*iculously funny an* hila#ious. "he things &eo&le will
*o, an* the lengths they will go to in o#*e# to 5win5 an* +e 5#ight5 an* get thei# 5#evenge5 an* see7 5Bustice5 an* get
5lai*5 is comical in*ee*. "o not see the humo# in it stems f#om wanting to not see the humo# in it.
?LI28 S)%=SI?
Neve# feel guilty fo# having an ego. Jou *i*n5t as7 fo# itI Jou Bust one *ay... 4OO2I ...A&&ea#e* on this &lanet.
Life is inc#e*i+ly *ifficultG of cou#se the ego views itself as a 5victim5G it Bust a&&ea#e* su**enly f#om out of nowhe#e,
f#om momma5s 1A<INA of all &laces, came into a #oom with +#ight lights, got sla&&e* +y a *octo#, was col* an*
+loo*y an* cove#e* in &us, then the nu#ses cleane* it an* shove* it into mommy5s a#ms, an* it Bust assume*
mommy was <o*, at least fo# a little while.
Of cou#se, Mommy tu#ne* out to +e a maBo# *isa&&ointment @in many casesA an* was *efinitely NO" <o*. Mo#e
li7e an emotional w#ec7, an alcoholic, o# wo#se. An* ,a**y wasn5t much of a <o*, eithe#. Man, what a
*isa&&ointment those &eo&le we#eI @.e thought they we#e a*ults, +ut eve#yone usually tu#ns out to +e chil*#en in
g#own$u& +o*ies. 8ve# #eali/e that Bust a+out eve#yone you 7now is mo#e li7e a chil* o# teen than an actual a*ultF It
+ecomes easy to let go of Bu*gmentalism E the ego5s sec#et favo#ite ho++yI E when you see that &eo&le a#e actually
still Bust chil*#en an* not a*ults +y any st#etch of the imagination. A chil* is easy to fo#give, an* since 66D of
humans a#e still Bust chil*#en, fo#giveness an* non$Bu*gmentalism a#e so easy it5s a Bo7e. 2o# a while, I s&ent some
time visuali/ing sh#in7ing &eo&le *own into two$yea#$ol*5s to #emin* myself of the :eality of most humans. It hel&e*
me to clea# out any leftove# Bu*gmentalism o# *isa&&ointment$with$the$human$#ace #esi*uals an* soli*ifie* my
*isce#nment, &eacefulness, an* love. I #ecommen* this sim&le &#actice, in*ee*. "his will hel& you to see the
innocence an* +eauty in all humans inclu*ing in you#self. Cust sh#in7 &eo&le *own into little +a+ies in you# min*,
an* 7now that this is close# to the t#uth a+out humans than any Bu*gmental o&inions the min* can come u& with.
"his &#actice will give you mo#e lighthea#te*ness an* will hel& to heal the maBo#ity of you# suffe#ing, as suffe#ing
lite#ally stems f#om the ego5s Bu*gmentalism.A
"hen, the ego ha* to go to school, an* foun* out &#etty Huic7 that all of the othe# ego5s in school we#e Huite stu&i*,
wea7, c#y +a+ies, mean, #u*e... eve# watch 7i*s &laying with each othe# when the#e is no &a#ental su&e#vision
a#oun*F Man, 7i*s a#e c#uel little *emonic +easts f#om hell in most casesI So now the ego ha* to lea#n how to *eal
with those mean 7i*s, an* in the &#ocess of g#owing u&, it natu#ally *evelo&e* all 7in*s of Bu*gments an* fea#s. I
mean, who the hell woul*n5t, #ightF
"hen, to ma7e matte#s even wo#se, the ego ha* to conten* with testoste#one, ho#mones, emotions, thoughts, math
tests, an* e>t#emely +eautiful gi#ls. .hy *i* <o* ma7e gi#ls so *amn &e#fect an* +eautifulF Is 5He5 Bust to#tu#ing us
o# whatF "o ma7e matte#s wo#se, he ma7es them all c#a/y. .hile we have to *eal with testoste#one, they have to
*eal with est#ogen, 4MS, &#egnancy, an* male assholes who Bust want to use them fo# se>. So they ha* to *evelo&
all 7in*s of fea#s an* wei#* &#og#amming Bust to +e a+le to *eal with the onslaught of ho#ny guys. An*, if they sle&t
with the w#ong guyF BAMI "hey get +#an*e* a ?who#e? an* thei# #e&utations a#e #uine* fo# life. Se>uality +ecomes
tie* in with shame, an* many gi#ls have lea#ne* to *eal with thei# *ee& se>ual shame +y #e&#essing it an*
&#eten*ing that they a#e shameless @e.g., the gi#ls of &o#nA.
Meanwhile, *u#ing the school yea#s, in the so$calle* ?#eal wo#l*? of a*ults, the ego has to *eal with *#un7s,
a+use#s, c#ee&y family mem+e#s, #eligious &eo&le, mommy an* *a**y th#owing *ishes at each othe#, +a* foo*,
&unishments fo# not eating the +a* foo*, sa#casm, +ullying, feeling *ee&ly con*escen*e*, getting lie* to, having
things stolen f#om it... the ego has to *eal with a lot, an* it lea#ns that if it ma7es mista7es it will go to hell, fo#eve#,
an* +u#n an* cho7e an* sc#eam an* get to#tu#e* @fo# ete#nityA.
As if that we#en5t enough &#essu#e, soon it has to go out into the wo#l* an* ma7e a living. It nee*s an e*ucation, it
nee*s communication s7ills, it nee*s to go Bo+ hunting, it nee*s to *eal with cont#olling +osses an* Bealous$ang#y
co$wo#7e#sG if it shows u& late then it gets fi#e* an* has to sta#t all ove# again. If money *oesn5t flow, the th#eat of
sta#vation, homelessness, an* *eath is eve# nea#. An* let5s not fo#get hell @fo# all those innocent$chil* mista7es that
it ma*eA. "he ego *oes NO" want to *ieG ?Hellfi#e? is a &#etty sca#y conce&t, is it notF
As if "HA" we#e not enough, the ego tu#ns on the television only to fin* that the whole wo#l* has +een at wa# a+out
6!D of #eco#*e* human histo#y. .hen I was a 7i*, we ha* to get un*e# ou# *es7s... we we#e tol* that if the evil
:ussians &#ess a single +utton, that ALL of Ame#ica will get +lown to +its, so we +ette# &#actice hi*ing un*e# ou#
*es7sI "o*ay, the ego has to wo##y a+out the Mi**le 8aste#n te##o#ists, an* tomo##ow it5ll +e some othe# g#ou& of
7ille#s, #a&ists, an* ?lea*e#s? it5ll nee* to content with @o# *ie an* go to hell fo# ete#nity +ecause it ma*e some
su&&ose*ly unfo#giva+le mista7esA.
So yeah, of cou#se eve#yone5s ego is mentally ill E woul*n5t you +e mentally ill if you we#e an egoF
.oul* JO) t#ust in ?<o*? if you we#e an egoF
Of cou#se not, what 7in* of ?<o*? woul* ma7e such a ho##i+le &laceF
"he answe# is, of cou#se, that <o* *i*n5t mess things u&, +ut ou# ego5s *i*. So why *i* <o* ma7e such stu&i*
ego5s in the fi#st &laceF "hat Huestion can neve# +e answe#e*. But, I *o 7now thisK .ith the willingness to sto&
thin7ing of you#self as an ego, along with the willingness to fo#give, acce&t, an* Love you# ego, you5ll Huic7ly sta#t
+ecoming One with <o* an* you# suffe#ing *ays a#e ove#, fo#eve#.
"hat5s not a +a* *eal, is itF
:eally, ALL you nee* to *o is +e 7in* to you# ego. "he 7in*ness ta7es you ALL the way out of it in *ue time. It is
only a matte# of &#actice. Be 7in*, at all times, to you# ego. An* since eve#yone else unfo#tunately has an ego that
is Bust as sca#e* an* messe* u& as ou#s, +e 7in* to them also, no matte# what. Again, the 7in*ness ta7es you O)"
of you# i*entification with the ego, +ecause, afte# all, SOM8"HIN< has to +e a+ove the ego in o#*e# to +e 7in* to it.
"hat 5something5 is you# S&i#it, which is not se&a#ate f#om <o*.
:ISIN< ABO18 "H8 8<O
In society, when &eo&le a#e ove#ly na#cissistic an* 5&uffe* u&5 with too much &#i*e, sometimes we tell them, ?Jou
nee* to get ove# you#self, manI?
.ell, those wo#*s contain much wis*om.
<et... ove#... you#... ego$self.
Lite#ally, you can sim&ly visuali/e, o# imagine, that you5#e slightly a+ove you# +o*y$min*. Ne>t, see you# ego$self as
a small chil* +ecause that is its essence. It may loo7 +ig an* st#ong an* 5sooo sma#t5 +ut it is Bust a small chil*.
@May+e get out some +a+y &ictu#es f#om when you we#e younge# if that will hel& with you# visuali/ation.A =ee&
#emin*ing you#self ove# an* ove# to*ay that the ego is Bust a small chil*. Most of the humans that it meets out the#e
a#e Bust little 7i*s. Innocent, stu&i*, limite*, *ee&ly af#ai*... little 7i**ies.
"hat will *o the t#ic7. "he ego an* the wo#l* a#e easy to love when you see them as they t#uly a#eK Innocent. 8ven
Hitle# was Bust a chil*. An ang#y, selfish, na#cissistic 57ing +a+y5. "hus, Hitle# was innocent. He *i* some ho##ific
things, yes, +ut his consciousness was un$evolve* an* ve#y innocent. "he <e#mans who followe* him we#e also
Bust innocent chil*#en. .o#l* .a# "wo was #eally Bust a +unch of little +a+ies #unning a#oun* with +ig guns.
A),I"O:J <8N"L8N8SS
,on5t wo##y, if you5#e not a ?visuali/e#?, that5s O=. Cust +e 7in* to you# little ego. Sta#t noticing the voice tones in
you# min*, an* ta7e note of how unfo#giving, col*, an* cont#olling they ten* to +e at times. .hen things go well, the
voice +ecomes nice, +ut when st#ess sta#ts to ha&&en, the voice ten*s to change tone an* Huality in some
unfo#tunate ways. Jou can thin7 of it as an inne# &a#ent, o# inne# motivato#. "hat is the one to watch +ecause it can
often get out of han*. It convinces you that it is an a*ult, yet it is fa# f#om that. Ma7e su#e it is nice, gentle, fo#giving,
acce&ting, un*e#stan*ing, an* 7in* at all times.
"ell it to whis&e#, an* see to it that it listens to you.
"his will hel& +#ea7 you# i*entification with the ego an* 5me#ge5 you into the Silent .itness o# S&i#it Self in *ue time.
It is Bust a matte# of +eing watchful, an* choosing 7in*ness no matte# what is going on. See the innocent 5+a+yness5
in all +eings to*ay, inclu*ing you# own 5+ig +a+y5 ego$self. "he ego is Bust *oing what any chil* woul* *o with the
7in* of life it ha* to conten* an* *eal with. It was not a &#etty life. It was not an easy life. I5ve neve# met an ego that
ha* a t#uly goo* life. Most ego5s have gone to hell an* +ac7 a million times ove#, have they notF Some neve# get
out of hell.
.OMANI;IN<...
Actually, when you *ee&ly maste# the sim&le tas7 of +eing uncon*itionally 7in* to you# ego, the a#t of .omani/e
+ecomes a Bo7e.
Let5s ta7e a&&#oach an>iety, fo# e>am&le. Shyness is a #esult of a lac7 of 7in*ness within.
Most men see a +eautiful woman an* thin7 she is an a*ult. I *on5t see an a*ult, I see a +eautiful +a+y. How can
you +e ne#vous when all you see a#e +a+ies in the wo#l*F .hen a woman is #u*e to me I *on5t even flinch. "his is
+ecause I see only a chil* having a tem&te#$tant#um. I *on5t thin7, ?<ee, I +ette# wo#7 on my gameI? no# *o I feel
insulte*, ang#y, Bu*gmental, o# ashame* in any way. "#y feeling ?ang#y? when all you can see is a small chil* +eing
#u*e to you... it can5t +e *one. @2o#giveness is cute, +ut in :eality the#e is neve# anything to fo#give. "he chil*#en in
the wo#l* a#e Bust +eing the way chil*#en a#e.A
So yeah, the ty&ical unt#aine* ego s&ots a &#etty gi#l, an* instantly, it gets hit with a #ush of testoste#one, *esi#e,
att#action, an* lust. .hat is it su&&ose* to *o with all that ene#gyF "al7ing to a &#etty gi#l is li7e t#ying to +uil* a
house *u#ing an ea#thHua7eI "o the ego, <o* is a ve#y c#uel man. He not only ma7es women so +eautiful that you
feel li7e c#ying, +ut then he gives us a t#uc7loa* of testoste#one. By *efault, He ma*e man a #a&ist, *i* He notF A
man is Bust a g#ee*y little #a&ist. An* why shoul*n5t he want to #a&e all the gi#lsF "hey5#e fuc7in5 insanely go#geousI
Aa###ghI Little 57ing +a+y5, wantsI
But then, women *on5t thin7 they have any value othe# than thei# +o*ies, an* they #ealistically *o nee* men to
su#vive @without the &#otecto#$&#ovi*e#, how is she going to s&en* nine months in a cave an* fen* off all the othe#
#a&istsFA, so they5ve lea#ne* that the way to att#act high$status males is to loo7 thei# ve#y +est. In :eality, a woman
coul* wea# a ga#+age +ag an* we5* still want he#. .e men, afte# all, have >$#ay visionI
I love telling women that I have >$#ay vision. I5ll often say something li7e, ?.hy a#e you so na7e*F? an* they go,
?HuhF? an* I go, ?2o#give me, +ut I have >$#ay vision an* *o not see you# clothing. I have *efective eyes. "o my
eyes, you5#e Bust continually na7e* no matte# what it is that you5#e wea#ing.? @Of cou#se, this isn5t a &ic7u& line, +ut
something to say to he# late# on once the *ate has #eache* a ce#tain level of intimacy, o+viously.A I love watching
women giggle, sh#ie7, an* +lush, *on5t youF
So men have all this testoste#one... an* we5#e su&&ose* to maste# it, of cou#se. But now, women wea# ma7e$u&,
&ush$u& +#a5s, lace &anties, tight$ass Beans, low cut s7i#ts, high heels that ma7e thei# +ac7s a#ch so they loo7 li7e
they5#e Bust waiting to get fuc7e* f#om +ehin*, an* much, much mo#e. How the hell is a male ego su&&ose* to
con*uct himself in such a wo#l*F I thin7 eve#y male ego who hasn5t #a&e* anyone shoul* get some 7in* of &#i/e,
*on5t you thin7F "he Me*al of Hono#.
As if 5not$#a&ing5 women we#en5t enough, now the &oo# little ego has to lea#n how to communicate with the <o**ess
of 1enus, an* if he even ma7es ON8 mista7e, BAMI ...:eBecte*, he must go home an* Be#7 off, +ecause if he
*oesn5t Be#7 off he might go insane o# even e>&lo*e. "estoste#one is no Bo7e.
So, of cou#se men have 5a&&#oach an>iety5... Now, to ma7e matte#s even wo#se, lust is only one of many
cont#i+uting facto#s of shyness. "he ego also has to *eal with &#i*e, shame, ange#, g#ee*, guilt, wo##y, fea#... not to
mention, all of the hung#y, salivating, com&eting males who a#e hove#ing a#oun* all the +est women. @8ven the
ugliest women usually have some *u*e going, ?<ot a light, you se>y thingF?A
4e#ha&s the #eason most guys neve# manage to heal thei# a&&#oach an>iety is +ecause they Bu*ge, con*emn,
#esist, #e&#ess, &#oBect, an* fight against it. An* who can +lame themF No+o*y taught them how to *eal with all of
thei# 5man Buice5, an* no+o*y taught them how to *eal with a woman5s initial @wei#*A #eactions to +eing a&&#oache*.
.omen have lea#ne* to +e #u*e, sno++y, col*, &#i*eful, ang#y, +itchy, an* in many cases they a#e Bust a+out
im&ossi+le to *eal with. So, tal7ing to them is not always ve#y fun. .omen ha* to lea#n how to +a#te# se> in o#*e# to
o+tain affection f#om the ho#ny animal males. Othe#wise men woul* Bust ?gang+ang? all women continuously
a#oun*$the$cloc7. "hus, women ha* to lea#n how to *eal with all this &#essu#e, an* the th#eat of #a&e is eve# in the
+ac7 of the female5s 5unconscious min*5.
"his is one #eason why I a*vise men to +e as Silent an* Still as &ossi+le a#oun* women. "he community tells you
to ?ma7e women emotionalI? +ut that is Bust the chil* in them who see7s to cont#ol women an* 5get get get5.
I *on5t a*vise going out of you# way to ma7e women too emotional, in fact, I often a*vise Bust the o&&osite.
8motions a#e one thing, Love is anothe#.
2o# one thing, the moment you say hello to he#, she now has to go th#ough a se#ies of ve#y com&le> tas7s in he#
+o*y$min*. 2i#st, she has to see the way you loo7, smell, an* soun*. "hat info#mation has to get &#ocesse*
th#ough he# min* an* +o*y, an* then she has to chec7 in with he# feelings. She has to *eal with memo#ies, fea#s,
guilt, shame, &#i*e, an* all of the human emotions simultaneously.
Most guys, +eing as ho#ny as they a#e, *on5t want to acce&t the fact that it is the woman who *eci*es. She is the
selecto#, not you. "he +est you can eve# *o is to sim&ly *is&lay you#self fo# he#, an* +e Silent an* Still so that she
can *eal with he# selectivity$&#og#amming in a state of &eace. If you allow he# to *o this in &eace, you5ll often
inc#ease you# chances with he#. Jou5ll also inc#ease you# chances of lan*ing a high consciousness woman instea*
of Bust an emotionally$#eactive, non$integ#ous chil*.
"his is one #eason why &ic7u& lines a#e unwise. "hey &#eclu*e &eace an* c#eate un*ue st#ess fo# the woman +y
giving he# mo#e info#mation than he# little ego can han*le. So while she5s *ealing with he# com&le> info#mation$
gathe#ing selectivity &#ocesses, the 54)A5 asshole is Bamming cleve# lines *own he# th#oat. He is @#athe#
t#ans&a#entlyA t#ying to cont#ol he# selectivity system *ue to +eing too ho#nyG he has too much *esi#e9g#ee*9lust.
"he ,ivine =ey to getting selecte* +y integ#ous, healthy, +eautiful, high$Huality females is to .AI". Cust stan*
the#e, an* .AI". Isn5t that ama/ingF An* he#e you we#e, thin7ing you nee*e* to ?*o? all of these cleve# things to
he#. NO48I
Jou# only Bo+ is to achieve a Bliss state within you#self +efo#e you a&&#oach. If you can a&&#oach a woman in such
a state, say hello, an* Bust give he# a few secon*s... she5ll usually select you, assuming she is integ#ous, healthy,
an* so on. If she is non$integ#ous, unhealthy, etc., then she will e>&ect you to t#eat he# as a who#e @li7e the 54)A5
often *oes, &e#ha&s without #eali/ing itA. "o the non$integ#ous, Silence, Bliss, an* Love a#e @sometimesA consi*e#e*
c#ee&y an* sca#y. "he non$integ#ous ego *oesn5t t#ust Love +ecause all it 7nows is &ain an* humiliation. Love is
too unfamilia#G it isn5t that they *on5t want Love, it5s that they *on5t even 7now Love 8YIS"SI Love is totally
unfamilia# to la#ge segments of the &o&ulation, an* &eo&le gene#ally fea# the unfamilia#.
"he non$integ#ous ego cannot han*le much of anything. 8ven if it wins the lotto, within two yea#s it5ll #uin it5s own
life an* commit suici*e, as we5ve seen #e&eate*ly with lotte#y winne#s. It cannot han*le much of anything
@es&ecially LoveA.
Most ego5s have ha* a #eally ha#* time an* *i*n5t get to evolve to the &oint of *iscove#ing Integ#ity L Love. Now,
*on5t feel sym&athy fo# them, Bust Love them in Silence an* +e on you# way. ,on5t t#y to change ego5s +ecause
ego5s #esist an* #esent +eing change* +y othe# ego5s.
@"he +est you can *o fo# the non$integ#ous woman is to Bust leave he# Be. She is on he# own evolutiona#y time$
t#ac7 an* she +elongs to <o*, not to you# ego. "he +est you can *o to hel& &eo&le is to hel& you#self an* live +y
e>am&le. <o fin* someone who can Love you, instea* of t#ying to change the one5s who can5t. In this way, the#e
will soon +e mo#e an* mo#e e>am&les of t#ue Love on the &lanet fo# them to lea#n f#om. "he +est we can *o is +e a
teache# fo# &eo&le, an* we teach them +y +ecoming a living e>am&le of Love.A
So, of cou#se the male ego has 5a&&#oach an>iety5, it is ?su&&ose* to.? "he way to heal it is th#ough 7in*ness. Cust
+e 7in*, an* es&ecially, &atient with the little guy. "his 7in* of 7in*ness will soon heal it.
In the meantime, if you5#e not #ea*y to a&&#oach women yet, *on5t. A&&#oach you# own ego with 7in*ness +efo#e
you sta#t a&&#oaching women with 7in*ness. It won5t ta7e as long to heal it as you &#o+a+ly thin7 it will. If you can,
s&en* the *ay seeing +a+ies eve#ywhe#e. See the innocence an* +eauty in eve#yoneG +a+ies an* chil*#en a#e
Huite +eautiful. "his will hel& cultivate a highly evolve* sense of humo#, as well as a *ee& com&assion fo# all
sentient Beings.
16. ;en "#aining
"he highe# you# Coy, Ha&&iness, Bliss, 4eace, Love, Integ#ity, an* <o*$consciousness, the +ette# a#e you# chances
of not only +eing selecte* +y +eautiful women, +ut of utte#ly .omani/ing the 5highe# vi+ing5 women in the wo#l*.
Al&ha goes to al&ha, an* it is the same with the S&i#itual Al&ha.
Of cou#se, a favo#ite com&laint among s&i#itual see7e#s is, ?.he#e a#e all the high$vi+ing, hea#t$cente#e* womenF?
.ell, if they we#e so ?hea#t$cente#e*? they woul*n5t even ca#e. "hey woul* Bust +e getting lai* all the time an*
letting <o* wo##y a+out fin*ing them 5the one5. Although most ?s&i#itual? guys cannot .omani/e to save thei# lives,
they a+solutely a*o#e hi*ing +ehin* the +elief that they a#e ?too high level? an* that all the women they eve# seem
to fin* out the#e a#e ?non$integ#ous.?
I am, of cou#se, e>agge#ating a little, +ut Bust a little.
"he thing is, when you *evelo& the ?;en State of Bliss?... almost eve#y woman su**enly +ecomes availa+le. ,oo#s
o&en all a#oun* you. 8ve#ything ha&&ens s&ontaneously of its own. It5ll feel as though you can ?+e*? Bust a+out -0D
of the women you tal7 to. Cust imagine what it must feel li7e to live this way whe#e a+out half of the women you tal7
to give you 5g#een light5 signals. It is +eyon* ama/ing.
So, the 7ey is to *#o& ALL Huestions a+out ?whe#e? to meet women an* ?when? will they show u& an* ?what level?
will they +e fo# Bust long enough to *evelo& within you#self a #easona+ly soli* an* continuous state of &eaceful
+liss. Let <o* wo##y a+out the #est.
Some guys will &#efe# to wait until this state *evelo&s to a significant enough *eg#ee, while othe#s will &#efe# to get
out the#e a#e a&&#oach women #ega#*less. 8ithe# way is fine, as long as you ma7e Bliss you# &#io#ity an* not se>.
Bliss is fa# mo#e im&o#tant an* ma7es all of life a continuous Boy. Se>... is Bust se>.
"he goo* news is that it *oesn5t ta7e that long, an* you *on5t nee* to wo#7 that ha#* to get you#self into Bliss.
Li7e I sai* yeste#*ay, even Bust +eing 7in* to you# ego soon ta7es you ALL the way into Bliss. It is ama/ing how
sim&le it is to &#og#essively #each enlightenment. "he only *ifficulty is the ego5s silly #esistance to it. But then, Bust
+eing 7in* to the ego no$matte#$what ta7es you out of #esistance. So, it5s easy, is it notF
"H8 5SOLA: 4L8Y)S5 8MO"ION AN, %ON":OL %8N"8:
4e#ha&s the single most *ifficult facto# when it comes to #eaching a highe# state is that the sola#$&le>us will often go
th#ough &e#io*s whe#e it fla#es u& an* ma7es you feel li7e you5#e *ying. "he sola#$&le>us is the ego5s emotion an*
cont#ol cente#. S&i#itual wo#7 ma7es it feel li7e it is losing cont#ol, an* the ego hates feeling that way. "hus,
emotions an* feelings ten* to come u& th#ough the sola#$&le>us, an* the t#ic7 is to Bust allow the feelings to come
u& an* me*itate u&on them unswe#vingly until they *isa&&ea#.
"he#e have +een *ifficult &e#io*s on my own &ath whe#e the sola#$&le>us woul* actually fla#e u& fo# *ays o# even
wee7s at a time. It always hel&s to #emem+e# that these feelings a#e tem&o#a#y an* a#e a sign that you# level of
consciousness is actually #ising, an* not falling. .hen you# level #ises, the ego f#ea7s out a little +ecause it is af#ai*
of the un7nown. It is af#ai* of losing cont#ol an* its illusion that it is <o*.
.ith &#actice, it is &ossi+le to wal7 a#oun* in a state of continuous sola#$&le>us su##en*e#, whe#e you can #emain
conscious of you# sola#$&le>us feelings while moving a#oun* in the wo#l*. .hen you thin7 of it, those uncomfo#ta+le
feelings a#e not a +ig *eal E they a#e Bust feelings. "he suggestion is to welcome them, fo# they a#e a sign that
things a#e going #eally well an* a &ossi+le +oost in you# level of consciousness is occu##ing.
Loo7ing +ac7, I have +een th#ough a lot this yea# an* it has all +een wo#th it. "he tem&o#a#y agonies along the way
we#e a ve#y small &#ice to &ay fo# #eaching this cu##ent state. I feel li7e I5m high on *#ugs all the time @with no si*e$
effectsA, 66D ha&&iness an* Boy, an* eve#y othe# woman I tal7 to is com&letely ?hy&noti/e*.? "hus, no &#ice is too
high to &ay fo# the 4#esence of <o*.
Mo#eove#, the feeling you get as a man who can easily an* automatically ?.omani/e? whe#e women *ee&ly
#es&ect, t#ust, a*mi#e, an* o+viously enBoy you# &#esence is &#iceless. I s&ent an enti#e lifetime see7ing this state,
an* +oy was it eve# wo#th the effo#ts.
4I%=)4 $ "H8 2I:S" %:I"I%AL MIN)"8
So, li7e we tal7e* a+out, &e#ha&s the +est way to a&&#oach women is to Bust a&&#oach them in a ve#y sim&le
manne# an* give them a few secon*s to allow thei# selection &#ocess to #un its cou#se. It only ta7es a cou&le of
secon*s, an* if you5#e Blisse*, Silent, 4eaceful, an* Still, he# selectivity goes &#etty fast an* will often select you on
the s&ot +efo#e the conve#sation has even +egun.
2o# to*ay, let us focus in on this fi#st minute of the inte#action, since it is the most c#itical &a#t. Jou can always
ma7e &lenty of *um+ mista7es late# on, +ut this fi#st minute is c#ucial. Nothing ta7es &#ece*ence ove# this fi#st,
gol*en, innocent, vulne#a+le minute of time. Jou# state of Love must +e &#etty st#ong an* unwave#ing. Jou# min*
shoul* +e &eaceful an* #elatively silent. @:emem+e#, asi*e f#om 7in*ness, you can also whis&e# an* go ?Shhhh? to
teach you# min* that Silence is O= an* enBoya+le.A
Now, you might want to visuali/e this fi#st minute an* &#actice it ove# an* ove#. Jou can even &lace a &oste# of a
&#etty gi#l on you# wall, why the hell notF I5ve *one c#a/ie# things. 2o# instance, I use* to #eco#* myself #ea*ing
+oo7s, so that I coul* c#itiHue my voice tone an* im&#ove the smoothness in my communication.
.hich +#ings me to a ve#y im&o#tant to&ic. Since you# ego is +ase* on lust an* &#i*e, it is going to want to ta7e
ove# the &ic7u& &#ocess fo# you, an* mo#e im&o#tantly, it is going to tell you that you shoul* 5&uff u&5 with &#i*e an*
*is&lay you#self in ce#tain 5al&ha5 o# even 5macho5 an* 5cool5 ways in o#*e# to im&#ess the female. It wants to
womani/e with a small 5w5. Jou the#efo#e nee* to 7ee& a watchful eye on &#i*e at all times. It snea7s out almost
constantly in the +eginning.
"he t#ue .omani/e# nee*s to let the &#i*eful 5*is&lay an* im&#ess5 &ostu#es all go. "he 7ey to this is innocence an*
a+solute vulne#a+ility. Jou must +ecome li7e an innocent chil* who is unaf#ai* to love. Jou must +ecome li7e a
*oggie o# a 7itty. Jou thin7 my 7itty has any issues with &ic7ing u& womenF
8MO"IONS A:8 2O: %HIL,:8N
=itty is vulne#a+le, o&en, loving, an* es&ecially unemotional.
"he 7ey to innocence an* a+solute vulne#a+ility is to +ecome unemotional. Of cou#se, to the ego, it eHuates non$
emotionality with col*ness, *eathness, o# aloofness, +ut that is an inco##ect assum&tion. .hen emotion sto&s, it is
#e&lace* +y genuine wa#mth an* an innocent twin7le in the eye. One even c#ies tea#s of emotionless Boy, at times
@es&ecially when love is witnesse*A.
Cesus ha* no emotionG only Love an* a ve#y &owe#ful 4#esence. Since the ego *oes not ?get? what love is, if you5ve
seen the film, Cesus of Na/a#eth @1633A you might have notice* the ego5s who c#eate* that film we#e also &#etty
clueless as they coul* not convey non$emotional love ve#y well at all. "he acto# who &o#t#aye* Cesus was col*,
c#ee&y, an* wei#*. I foun* a small cli& he#e if you want to see what I meanK
htt&K99vi*eo.google.com9vi*eo&layF*oci* ... 310322!Q
.hile I cannot say anything a+out Cesus fo# ce#tain +ecause I5ve neve# met Him, I se#iously *ou+t that Cesus was
col* an* c#ee&y. I5ll +et He was Bust the o&&osite, an* that He li7ely ha* a won*e#ful sense of humo# an* a &owe#ful
vi+e that ma*e &eo&le feel e>t#emely love* an* *ee&ly ca#e* fo#.
Let5s ta7e a loo7 at a mo*e#n$*ay 8nlightene* teache#, ,#. ,avi* :. Haw7ins, to com&a#e Him with the sca#y$
loo7ing Cesus we Bust sawK
htt&K99www.youtu+e.com9watchFvZ(-Lu4O))8AI
Notice the emotionless Boy He conveys. Notice the sense of humo#, the love, an* the hum+le confi*ence. His
confi*ence comes f#om the 4#esenceG notice how 5#oc7 li7e5 the loo7 in His eyes a#e, an* yet they a#e soft, gentle,
an* ce#tainly not c#ee&y no# sca#y in the slightest.
"he ego *oesn5t un*e#stan* emotionless love, an* so it &#oBects a ve#sion of itself out onto Cesus. Since the ego
itself is loveless an* Boyless @an* can +e Huite c#ee&y an* sca#yA, it +lin*ly assumes that even the g#eatest Saints of
all time must have +een the same.
As emotions *issolve @they ten* to &ou# out of the sola#$&le>us, if you allow them toA, the 4#esence ta7es ove# an*
#e&laces emotions with Boy, ha&&iness, love, +liss, an* so on. 2ew follow the ste&s to *evelo& such a state within
themselves +ecause the ste&s a#e so sim&le.
One way to *evelo& this state Huic7ly an* ve#y &owe#fully is to sim&ly change the way, o# the style, in which you
loo7 at things with you# eyes. .e5ve *iscusse* this &#eviously, an* I tal7 a+out it a lot +ecause it is so *evastatingly
Huic7 an* &owe#ful. It lea*s to states that a#e +eyon* the ego5s a+ility to even imagine. @Jou Bust nee* to give it a
little time fo# the state to *evelo& an* #i&en.A
So, you sim&ly lea#n to soften you# ga/e, allowing the wo#l* to get a little fu//y. Jou *on5t have to ?*o? anything to
ma7e this ha&&en, you Bust nee* to #ela> you# eyes an* 7ee& them #ela>e* as +est you can. 4#etty soon, you# eyes
will #emain in continuous #ela>ation no matte# what is ha&&ening.
As you #ela> you# eyes, you +ecome awa#e of you# &e#i&he#al vision. Jou5ll notice it is much easie# an* mo#e
enBoya+le to +e with the &e#i&he#al vision than with the s&ecifics. "o focus in on s&ecifics ta7es ene#gy an* c#eates
st#ess in the +o*y$min*. "o #ela> the eyes an* +e with the conte>t #eHui#es no effo#t an* *oesn5t e>&en* any
ene#gy +ut actually #e&lenishes it. Ne>t, +e awa#e of you# +#eathing, as well as you# sola#$&le>us. It is going to fla#e
u& f#om time to time, an* so you Bust lea#n to live with it, allowing each an* eve#y single emotion to #ise an* fall li7e
the waves in the ocean. As you allow you# emotional weathe# changes to ta7e &lace without #esisting them, &#etty
soon the#e a#e mo#e sunny *ays than clou*y ones, until finally, only Sunshine #emains.
:8A,IN<
I5m going to suggest that you change the way that you #ea*, fo#eve#.
:ight now, while you focus on these wo#*s, it is also &ossi+le fo# you to +e fully awa#e of the "otality of the
su##oun*ings in you# visual fiel*, in you# &e#i&he#al vision... Bust continue to #ea* these wo#*s... an* also... +e awa#e
of the #oom you5#e in.
.hile you5#e #ea*ing these wo#*s... an* a#e simultaneously awa#e of you# &e#i&he#al vision... you can also +e
awa#e of you# +#eathing.
So, the#e a#e the wo#*s that you5#e #ea*ing... &lus the &e#i&he#y... &lus the +#eathing.
If the sola#$&le>us fla#es u&, Bust allow it to *o what it wants, an* *on5t inte#fe#e with it. "he emotions will &ass soon
enough.
:ea* this way f#om now on.
If you5#e one of these &eo&le who li7es to #ea* a lot, you5#e a ve#y fo#tunate man who is #ight a+out to ente# the
=ing*om of Heaven. Cust #ea* you# +oo7s in this manne# of style, an* when you get use* to #ea*ing this way you
can &#etty much 7iss ALL of you# &#o+lems goo*+ye, inclu*ing you# .omani/e issues an* wo##ies +ecause you#
min* will sta#t to fall silent.
"his is the state to +e in wheneve# you5#e with women, an* es&ecially, in that fi#st c#itical moment when you5ve Bust
wal7e* ove# an* sai* hello to he#. So, you loo7 he# in the eyes @with a soft, gentle ga/e an* an innocent twin7le in
you# eyesA .HIL8 +eing awa#e of you# &e#i&he#y AN, +eing awa#e of you# +#eathing. Jou must st#i7e a +alance
+etween all th#ee.
At fi#st, you# min* is going to fo#get this, of cou#se, +ecause it will ma7e the woman mo#e im&o#tant than the
&e#i&he#y an* the +#eathing. "he min* ma7es the woman mo#e im&o#tant than Life itself, +ecause it essentially
wo#shi&s he#. Jou# ego #eally thin7s the woman is <o*, *oesn5t itF Of cou#se it *oesI How coul* a woman "HA"
+eautiful NO" +e <o*F Of cou#se the innocent ego elevates he# to the <o**ess level. He thin7s he# &ussy is the
=ing*om of Heaven, an* to the ego, it actually is heaven, is it notF
So, fo#give you# ego continually fo# this. It is only *oing what it ?shoul*? +e *oing. Jou Bust nee* to teach it that
the#e is mo#e to life than a soft, wa#m, heavenly &ussy. Now, that isn5t going to +e easy E you# ego is utte#ly
convince* that &ussy is Heaven, an* it is going to ta7e a little while to t#ain the little ho#ny guy to g#ow u& an*
+ecome an emotionless, *esi#eless man.
?NO"HIN< IS MO:8 IM4O:"AN" "HAN SOM8"HIN< 8LS8?
In st#i7ing a +alance +etween these th#ee elements @the woman5s eyes, the conte>t9&e#i&he#y, the +#eathing Ran*
&e#ha&s the sola#$&le>us when it fla#es u&SA, you5ll t#ain you# ego to not ma7e any one thing mo#e im&o#tant than
any othe# thing. Some guys ma7e themselves mo#e im&o#tant than the gi#l, an* they a#e Be#7s. Othe# guys ma7e
the gi#l mo#e im&o#tant than they a#e, an* they a#e the 5nice guys5. An*, almost no man ma7es his S&i#it @the
conte>t9&e#i&he#yA im&o#tant at all.
"he 7ey to .omani/ing is to st#i7e a +alance with all th#ee.
"hus, the man, woman, an* conte>t9s&i#it9&e#i&he#y a#e all of eHual im&o#tance. @"he awa#eness of you# +#eathing
an*9o# ..., a#e Bust as im&o#tant as anything else, inclu*ing even the +eautiful women you5#e tal7ing with.A
"o #eca&itulateK
1. <a/e softly, gently, an* hum+ly into the woman5s eyes 2. Be awa#e of you# enti#e su##oun*ings
!. Be awa#e of you# +#eathing @an* &e#ha&s the sola#$&le>usA
In this way, 1, 2, an* ! +len* into each othe# an* the ego lea#ns that nothing is mo#e im&o#tant than anything else.
.hen this &a#a*igm shift occu#s, BLISSI No mo#e issues with women... Jou can log off the Inte#net fo#eve#, an*
finally get on with you# love life...
Befo#e that can ha&&en, you nee* to maste# this sim&le ;en "#aining. "he#efo#e, to*ay5s e>e#cise is sim&le E go
fin* a &ictu#e on the Inte#net of a +eautiful woman smiling an* loo7ing *i#ectly into the came#a, so it a&&ea#s that
she is smiling #ight at you. @,on5t g#a+ hol* of lust$+ase* &ictu#es, no cumshots... Bust fin* an innocent smile.A
"he sim&le tas7 is to softly ga/e into he# eyes M +e awa#e of you# conte>t9&e#i&he#y9su##oun*ings M +e awa#e of
you# +#eathing an* the sola#$&le>us @if it fla#es u&A.
If the#e is one thing that is most im&o#tant fo# you to lea#n in Life, this &#actice is it. "his is mo#e im&o#tant than
ca#ee#, money, an* even &hysical health +ecause this is a *ee&ly fulfilling s&i#itual &#actice that ta7es you +eyon*
the &hysical wo#l*. S&en* a goo* hou# *oing this to*ay. A nice, soli*, full hou# of me*itation will *o you so much
goo*G you5#e going to eventually sen* me emails to tell me you5#e having t#ou+le managing all the &ussy an* Love
in you# life.
Also, again, f#om now on, &lease #emem+e#K
.heneve# you #ea* anything, *o this sim&le &#actice. .heneve# you watch "1, you can also &#actice this sim&le
thing. .heneve# you s&ea7 to a woman, *o this sim&le &#actice. Ma7e it you# new #eligion an* you5ll than7 me late#.
I #eali/e you5ve &#o+a+ly lea#ne* this f#om me @o# othe# s&i#itual teache#sA +efo#e, +ut the human is stu++o#n an*
nee*s constant #emin*e#s to actually use what it lea#ns.
Now, if you5#e al#ea*y somewhat a*vance* with this &#actice, the suggestion is to sta#t *oing this fi#st thing when
you get u& in the mo#ning, an* 7ee& it going fo# 60D of you# *ay until you go to +e* at night.
"his &#actice is so im&o#tant I coul* sc#eam.
20. Man$:age
As a conseHuence of su**enly getting +o#n with no memo#y of whe#e it came f#om, an* having no i*ea whe#e it is
going, the ego was fo#ce* into a highly st#essful situation @to say the leastA. It ha* to lea#n, f#om the ve#y fist
secon*, how to su#vive in a wo#l* of chaos an* utte# ma*ness. "his, of cou#se, ma*e the little guy ve#y ang#y, an*
who can +lame itF
"estoste#one, hunge#, incom&etent &a#ents, +ullies in the schoolya#*, col* oatmeal fo# +#ea7fast, shitty san*wiches
fo# lunch, go*$awful *inne#s, the NoccasionalN fuc7ing chocolate chi& coo7ie, totally unfai# +e*times, monste#s in in
the closet an* un*e# the +e*, *emons in the *#eams, wa7ing u& in the mi**le of the night having &isse* itself,
mommy getting ang#y +ecause she has to get u& in the mi**le of the night to change the wet sheets, the emotional
shame of wetting the stu&i* +e* in the fi#st &lace, getting wo7en u& too ea#ly to go to a stu&i* school an* have to
face the stu&i* teache#s an* the stu&i* +ullies an* the insanely +eautiful gi#ls, having to listen to +o#ing teache#s
an* lea#n a +unch of &otentially useless c#a& all *ay, getting stuc7 ne>t to the smelly 7i* on the +us #i*e home,
wal7ing th#ough the winte# snow with little legs an* feet that ten* to f#ee/e +ecause they a#e so small, getting yelle*
at when you get home +ecause you we#en5t wea#ing you# stu&i* winte# hat that ma7es you# hai# loo7 li7e you Bust
got elect#ocute*, an* afte# all that, C)S" while you5#e 7ic7ing +ac7 an* enBoying a @*amn goo*A ca#toon you hea#,
?"IM8 2O: ,INN8:I "):N "HA" "1 O22, NO.I AN, %OM8 "O S)448:I?
?2uc7 human life, human life is a &iece of shitII? E"he human ego
One time, when I was a 7i*, I honestly loo7e* u& at the s7y, an* tol* the <o* of #eligion to se#iously fuc7 off. As I
shoo7 my tiny little fists an* stom&e* my @si/e -A feet on the g#oun* an* #age* at <o* th#ough my tea#s with a
fu#ious ange# that ma*e the veins in my nec7 +ulge out... I 7new... in that moment... I Bust 7new... that I ha* Bust
*one something 18:J +a*. But, in my stu++o#n #age, I *i*n5t a&ologi/e... I *i*n5t ta7e it +ac7. I wi&e* off my tea#s,
my hea#t ha#*ene*, an* I sai*, ?"o hell with Him. I5m *one with <o*.?
Of cou#se, I *i*n5t 7now what the hec7 I was *oing, not #eally.
It is one thing to naively thin7 <o* is a man in the s7y an* *enounce this &seu*o$go* of #eligion, +ut, it is Huite
anothe# to *enounce the ve#y Sou#ce of one5s own 8>istence. In so *oing, one is 5cut off5 E +y the sim&le vi#tue of
having ma*e a *ecision E 2o#eve#. 2o# 8te#nity. @"hat is, until one co##ects the mista7e an* ma7es amen*s.A
It isn5t that <o* ?&unishes?, it is Bust that the ego is f#ee to choose it5s own 2ate. It has the ,ivine :ight of =ings, so
to s&ea7. If it wants to go to hell, it can choose hell. "he only thing it nee*s to *o is *enounce the Sou#ce of its own
8>istence the#e+y cutting off the Light of %onsciousness.
"H8 .O:L, IS ASL884
One loo7 at the wo#l* an* we come to see Bust how many humans seem to +e totally o+livious as to the Sou#ce of
thei# own 8>istence. 4ove#ty, c#iminality, *isease, mu#*e#, #a&e, canni+alism... the wo#l* is a &#etty sic7 &lace. "he
ego, in its innocent naivety, has +ecome, in most cases, se#iously mentally ill an* even com&letely insane *ue to
#efusing <o* as Love an* as Sou#ce.
It then goes out into the wo#l* an* t#ies to fin* <o* @i.e., ha&&inessA ?out the#e? somewhe#e. It consistently fails to
#eali/e that <o* is actually ?in he#e.? An* the mo#e ?out the#e? it see7s, the mo#e it ten*s to get f#ust#ate* *ue to the
sim&le an* o+vious fact that <o* isn5t ?out the#e.?
"):NIN< .I"HINK "H8 SO):%8 O2 JO): LI28 IS JO): LI28
I can #emem+e# the fi#st time I hea#* that I shoul* +e ?going within?, the i*ea 7in*a ma*e sense to me on an
intellectual level, +ut I *i*n5t fully un*e#stan* what was meant +y it. <o... .ithinF .hat, am I su&&ose* to o&en my
stomach an* c#awl insi*eF
"hey sai*, ?<o insi*e you# min*, an* *iscove# you# Sou#ce.?
)m, O=... now I5m even mo#e confuse*. How e>actly *oes one ?go insi*e? an* ?*o? this ama/ing featF A&&a#ently,
less than one in ten million &eo&le eve# come to lea#n how to &ull this off. Less than one in ten million humans eve#
+othe# to see7 8nlightenment, an* fewe# still eve# #each the )ltimate State.
So why *o some &eo&le see7 the t#uth an* even fin* it, while most *on5t even +othe# to t#yF
It is +ecause most &eo&le see7 to confi#m an* vali*ate that which they al#ea*y 7now. "he ego *oes not li7e to have
its views&oints an* o&inions un*e#mine*. It loves to +elieve that it 7nows t#uth al#ea*y.
2#om the &oint of view of the intellect, ?going within? *oes in*ee* soun* li7e a stu&i*, o# at least a confusing
&#os&ect. So, it *eci*es to give it a t#y, an* may+e goes out to ta7e a me*itation class. But then, it is tol* the min*
must +e silence*, an* comes to *iscove# that the min* is a+solutely fille* with a se#ies of en*less thoughts. ?Jeah,
#ight? the ego says, ?I5m outta he#eI?
An* off it goes, t#ying to fin* <o* ?out the#e? again an* again... while it sec#etly +elieves that it al#ea*y 7nows
eve#ything anyway.
NOIS8 18:S)S SIL8N%8
<oing within is actually, in :eality, the easiest an* most natu#al thing you coul* eve# *o. "he t#ic7 is to lea#n how to
clea# out the noise fi#st. Once the noise Huiets *own, going within +ecomes a Coy. One *iscove#s ?Ha&&y$Ba+y$
Bliss? li7e neve# +efo#e. 8ven the g#eatest lay, the g#eatest meal, the g#eatest wo#l*ly success *oes not even come
close to this e>&e#ience.
One ve#y Huic7 way to sta#t clea#ing out all of the noise @e.g., thoughts an* emotionsA is to ma7e the sim&le
*ecision to allow you# #age to come out. .ithin each man the#e is a sto#age of ange#$#age, an* since it is not
a&&#o&#iate in ou# society to let it out. "hus, it has +ecome #e&#esse*, *enie*, #eBecte*, #esiste*, sto#e* away, an*
+u#ie* *ee& within the unconscious. It snea7s out f#om time to time though, *oesn5t itF
@If, +y any chance, you a#e a woman #ea*ing this, you# Bo+ is to go within an* *iscove# you# &#oclivity fo# feeling
?hu#t? all the time. "his is you# ve#sion of ?man #age?, an* it stems f#om having un#ealistic e>&ectations as well as
the false assum&tion that men shoul* 7now what you want an* auto$un*e#stan* how you feel at any given
moment.A
So yeah, the man #age +oils ove# eve#y so often.
I 7now mine use* to. My #age was 2)%=IN< intense. "hat little +oy who naively *enounce* <o* too7 a loooooong
time to finally heal his #age. Of cou#se, I ha* a han*le on it, I live* a ve#y goo* life an* all, an* I5ve always 7nown
myself to actually +e healthie# than most men. I always got ?lai* li7e a #oc7sta#?, an* eve#ything I5ve *one in life has
usually tu#ne* to gol*. ,es&ite my inne# #age, I *i* Huite well. An* that is e>actly my &ointK 8ven though I live* a
ve#y goo* life, I still ha* all this #age in me. So the Huestion is, if a ha&&y an* successful guy has all this #age
insi*e, what5s going on insi*e of those men who *o not &a#ticula#ly succee* in thei# lives no# with womenF
.e tu#n on the news an* see that the wo#l* is lite#ally always thin7ing se#iously a+out +lowing itself u& with nu7es.
.e always seem to +e #ight on the ve#ge of this actual thing ha&&ening fo# #eal. Jeste#*ay it was the :ussians,
to*ay it is I#an. "omo##ow it will &#o+a+ly +e Haiti o# Af#ica.
Some wo#l*I .e see that human7in* has +een at wa# fo# 6!D of #eco#*e* histo#y, an* that5s Bust the icing on the
ca7e. At the co#e of this, I5* say that most li7ely, it is his man5s testoste#one that accounts fo# most of his #age.
"hus, man nee*s an outletG he nee*s to lea#n how to ?unco#7? all of his #age, othe#wise, he can fo#get a+out
.omani/ing.
=A:MI% @I.8., )N%ONS%IO)SA ?MAN :A<8?
Jou see, when a man has a sto#ehouse of inne# #age, even if he5s goo* at hi*ing it un*e# loc7 an* 7ey, it is going to
snea7 out of him in a my#ia* of ways. "his inclu*es emotional *iso#*e#s, *#in7ing an* *#ug &#o+lems, an* even
*isease. In the conte>t of .omani/ing, guess what #age *oesF
It att#acts ?whoo#s.?
I *on5t usually ?swea# li7e a sailo#? this much... well, not anymo#e I *on5t. In my &e#sonal life, I5ve cleane* u& my
language +ecause I5ve cleane* u& my inne# #age. But #ight now, in this conte>t, I5m using ha#*co#e mothe#fuc7ing
language +ecause I want to hel& you to t#igge# you# own inne# #age. .hen I use* to t#avel a#oun* the wo#l* an*
loo7 into the eyes of most of my stu*ents, I coul* see the &ain in thei# eyes. Many of them ha* what I woul* call
?sic7ness eyes.? "hat is, when you loo7 into thei# eyes, you can see nothing +ut #e&#esse* &ain t#ying to come out
@+ut he won5t allow it to come outA. He sits on a &ile of #age, an* many men a#e tic7ing time$+om+s who only nee*
the #ight t#igge# to finally set them off.
So yeah, #e&#esse* inne# #age att#acts who#es. It att#acts 5lowe# vi+ing5 women +ecause #age emits a f#eHuency
vi+#ation within the fiel* of consciousness which lu#es them in. :age att#acts non$integ#ous women to it. An*
&e#ha&s mo#e im&o#tantly, it #e&ulses an* #e&els healthy, att#active, emotionally sane, Integ#ous, ?hea#t$cente#e*?
women.
"he woman who li7es ?+a* +oys? is #eally Bust a woman who wants to +e a+use* an* then &lay the victim. 8ven the
?nice guy? att#acts victimhoo*$i*entifie* women +ecause even the nice ?wussy? guy is +ottling a significant amount
of ange#$f#ust#ation$#age *ee& within his unconscious min*. @Li7e I mentione*, unconsciously, women love to ?feel
hu#t.? "hey love to feel *isa&&ointe*, misun*e#stoo*, unwante*, an* so they set themselves u& fo# it +y having
sec#et wants an* 7ee&ing them hi**en.A
H8ALIN<
Is some of you# #age coming u& yetF
One way to heal the sto#ehouse of inne# manly #age is to give it &e#mission to come u&. One can get *own on one5s
7nees an* since#ely &#ay fo# ,ivine Assistance. As7 <o* to hel& you# #age come u&. An* then, wait a while.
Something will t#igge# it, I can &#omise you that much.
Human life is one +ig to#tu#e cham+e#. Something will ha&&en in you# life, an* soon. Jou# gi#lf#ien* will cheat on
you, you# +oss will file a se>ual ha#assment lawsuit on you, you# house will catch on fi#e, an* you# *octo# will tell
you that you cont#acte* the AI,S vi#us. All in the same *ay.
4e#fect.
Now5s you# ,ivinely O#*aine* chance to let it come u& an* O)". Jou a#e to shout, sc#eam, #oll a#oun* on the
g#oun*, cu#se <o*, *est#oy you# fu#nitu#e, an* +#ea7 a leg while *oing it.
I5ve +een teaching guys this one fo# yea#s, an* most of them will not *o it.
.hateve#, you5#e not one of those guys. Jou# ,estiny is to attain <o*$consciosuness an* *evastating levels of
.omani/ation, am I #ightF
Ne>t time you even so much as stu+ you# toe, I want you to give you#self &e#mission to sc#eam so lou* that you#
fuc7ing win*ows +#ea7, you lose you# voice, an* get a##este*. Let out a wil* 222))))))))))))%%%%%====I
...an* 7ee& going... 222)))))))))%%%%%======= @until you #each a Bliss stateA.
?)N%O:=IN<? L8A,S "O BLISS9NO.
:age, when allowe* to ?+#eathe?, lea*s to Bliss. .hen given &e#mission to flow u& an* out, it lea*s to <o*$
consciousness. So let you# inne# animal out an* let it sc#eam +loo*y hell. .hen hell is allowe* to leave you#
consciousness, Heaven then ta7es its &lace.
A g#eat &lace to sta#t is to use a .in*ows com&ute#. ,on5t allow you#self to &u#chase a Mac until you# .in*ows
com&ute# has hel&e* you to #elease you# #age. In the en*, when I was almost *one with #age, I g#a++e* my
.in*ows com&ute# an* smashe* it against a +#ic7 wall. It was one of the +est feelings I have eve# feltI I now own a
Mac an* have no mo#e com&ute# &#o+lems. Bill <ates has hel&e* me mo#e than he #eali/es.
Anothe# thing you can *o is ma7e a list of you# #emaining emotional issues, let5s say the to& ! to - issues that ten*
to come u& the most. 2#ust#ation, ange#, #age, shyness, false$&#i*e9sno++iness, shame, guilt, *e&#ession,
fea#fulness, wo##y, an* mo#e. "he 7eys to t#anscen*ing emotions a#e as followsK
1. B#ea7 *own *enial. A*mit the t#uth that the ego loves to in*ulge in negativity +ecause it i*entifies itself as the
wo#l*5s most s&ecial an* im&o#tant victim. Cust a*mitting the t#uth a+out the a**iction to ?Buicing? emotions fo# the
&u#&ose of 5victimhoo*5 then ta7es you out of them. @"#uth always heals.A
2. B#ea7 *own mo#e *enial. A*mit the t#uth that you# emotions e>ist +ecause the ego is &laying <o* an* wants to
cont#ol ci#cumstances, &eo&le, an* %#eation itself. 8motions a#e the#efo#e naive an* ve#y chil*ish, as they come
f#om the animal 7ing*om. 8motions a#e the #esult of wanting to cont#ol the wo#l*. "he moment emotion fla#es u&,
as7 you#self what it is you a#e t#ying to cont#olF Jou t#ying to cont#ol you# ego9min*F "#ying to cont#ol a &oliticians
ego9min*F A#e you t#ying to change the weathe# o# whatF ,iscove# what you# inne# animal is t#ying to cont#ol, an*
+e willing to give u& illuso#y cont#ol @i.e., ?4laying <o*?A. )se the affi#mation, ?"he wo#l* is &e#fect as it is an* I5m
willing to let go of my o&inions now. .hateve# will +e, will +e.?
!. B#ea7 *own even mo#e *enial, +y a*mitting the t#uth that humanness itself is not only acce&ta+le, +ut actually is
e>t#emely +eautiful. Jou# human self is a naive &et given to you +y <o*. In lea#ning to acce&t humanness +y
seeing that emotions a#e Bust a natu#al as&ect of the animal wo#l* of su#vival, you then lea#n that it is &e#fectly O=
to feel anything that comes u& in the e>act s&lit$secon* moment that it comes u&.
.hen emotions a#e seen fo# what they a#e @i.e., the *esi#e fo# cont#olA, an* also given &e#mission to ?+#eathe? they
soon *issolve into Bliss, which is not *iffe#ent f#om Now.
?I A%%84" ALL H)MANN8SS IN ALL O2 I"S 8Y4:8SSIONS IN%L),IN< MJ O.N, AM8N.?
In lea#ning to acce&t an* the#efo#e t#anscen* emotion, it then +ecomes easy to ?han*le? a woman5s emotions
+ecause you sim&ly ta7e a ste& +ac7 an* give he# the s&ace she nee*s to e>&e#ience an* feel he# own life as it is
unfol*ing.
.omen5s most common issues a#e &#i*e, envy, an* ange# @in that o#*e#A.
Men5s most common issues a#e lust, gluttony, an* la/iness @in that o#*e#A.
Of cou#se, all of these issues a#e ?sins? in that they *eny that the sou#ce of one5s e>istence comes f#om AllnessG
they a#e +ase* on na#cissistic &#i*e. .ith women, it5s often all a+out, ?Loo7 at me an* my hot +o*y an* that is NmyN
+oyf#ien* so you +ette# +ac7 off +itchI?, an* with men it is all a+out se> an* &o#n an* +ee# an* vi*eo games an*
wasting life awayG .hat I call, ?S&itting on the <ift of Life.?
"his is the human con*ition, an* when com+ine* with ou# testoste#one, we men ten* to o+se#ve the human
con*ition an* get into a state of f#ust#ation$ange#$#age$hate a+out the way this wo#l* ha&&ens to +e. "he ave#age
woman is &#i*eful an* shallow, an* the ave#age man is #eally Bust a la/y wan7e#. It isn5t Bu*gmental to stan* +ac7
an* o+se#ve the sim&le t#uth a+out humans. "hey #eally a#e this immatu#e an* ?stu&i*.? It is &e#fectly fine to see the
t#uth a+out &eo&le. Most humans utte#ly suc7 an* cannot +e t#uste* even fo# #etu#ning a +o##owe* +oo7.
As the ange# a+out the state of the wo#l* is allowe* to come u& an* heal, you come to #eali/e that all you eve#
nee*e* to lea#n in this &ainful an* confusing life was to sim&ly acce&t you# own humanness. @Jou then ?auto$
acce&t? the humanness of othe#s, an* emotionality is #e&lace* +y &eace an* an almost non$sto& humo#. Life
+ecomes a come*y an* eve#yone is seen as they a#eK Limite*, Innocent, Beautiful, an* somewhat *ange#ousIA
S8L2$IM4:O18M8N"
In a sense, self$im&#ovement is an illusion +ecause in :eality, the#e is no 5&e#sonal self5 +ut only animal
&#og#amming as well as *eg#ees of consciousness$light. "hus, the#e a#e no 5&eo&le5 as suchG the Oneness of <o*5s
Light shines th#ough the va#ious 5meat$&u&&ets5 an* activates the ego5s innate &#og#amming. No ?&e#son? actualy
?*oes? anything +ut me#ely Is.
4e#ha&s the g#eatest illusion of all is the illusion calle* 5in*ivi*uality5 +ecause it stems f#om *uality. In$*ivi$*uality
assumes that the#e is an 5in5 he#e, which is 5*ivi*e*5 an* *ualistically o&&ose* with 5othe#s5. "hus a#ises com&etition,
g#ee*, lust, an* all of the ?sins? inhe#ent within animal$human consciousness.
As the human eventually *iscove#s that the#e is such a thing as evolution @an* wis*omA an* +egins u&on the g#eat
tas7 of ?self im&#ovement? @i.e., conscious an* *eli+e#ate evolutionA, a new illusion c#ee&s in calle* ?will &owe#.?
"hat is, man +elieves himself to +e a se&a#ate &e#son who magically ?wills? himself to change, ove#come,
t#anscen*, im&#ove, g#ow, an* &#og#ess. Jet ?will &owe#? is an illusion, fo# innate within all conscious +eings @?life?A
is al#ea*y an automatic &#o&ensity to see7 an* #etu#n to fin* its t#ue Sou#ce. "hus, self$im&#ovement, li7e all of Life
itself, is al#ea*y ha&&ening s&ontaneously of its own. "hat the#e is a 5me5 that su&&ose*ly 5*oes5 self$im&#ovement
is actually a totally fallacious an* a##ogant &om&osity.
"he Allness of the enti#e )nive#se is actually a Oneness that is ?ha&&ening? all +y itself. %#eation an* 8volution a#e
one an* the same thing, an* the#e a#e no humans who can claim any c#e*it @although the ego ce#tainly *oes t#yA.
In *ee& me*itation, it is &ossi+le to catch the ego9min* as it ta7es c#e*it fo# each &assing moment of e>&e#iencing.
It ta7es c#e*it fo# thoughts @?I thin7?A, *ecisions @?I *eci*e?A, actions, @?I *i*?A, an* even &hysical life @?I +#eathe?A.
In actuality, of cou#se, thin7ing, +#eathing, an* living a#e all ha&&ening s&ontaneously of thei# own an* cannot +e
sto&&e*.
"he co#e of 4#i*e9,enial is this naive ?ta7ing c#e*it? fo# the ongoingness an* automaticity of Life.
Cust as the flowe# *oes not ?will? itself to g#ow, neithe# *oes the human have the &owe# to ?will? itself to self$
im&#ove. <#owth an* evolution a#e me#ely innate to all of Life. "hus, the less you *o a+out you# im&#ovement, the
+ette#. "o let go of 5*oingness5 an* sim&ly Be is actually the fast$t#ac7 to #eaching highe# states. "he wise man
*oes not ?see7? enlightenment +ut me#ely ?waits.?
8YIS"8N"IAL AN<S"
"he attem&t to ta7e c#e*it fo# an* cont#ol Life itself #esults in a +ac7g#oun* of continuous an>iety, whe#e eve#ything
feels ?not o7.? Out of this a#ises the *esi#e to thin7.
"hin7ing is hy&othesi/e* as something humans must ?*o? in o#*e# to ?solve &#o+lems.? In #eality, howeve#,
&#o+lems only e>ist in the min*. Since the min* is then counte* on to solve &#o+lems, man7in* chases its own tail
an* is the#efo#e sai* to +e ?aslee&? as though *#eaming. "o wa7e u& it is only necessa#y to &#actice .itnessing
@conte>t9 &e#i&he#y M +#eathing in an* outIA. Mentali/ation then +egins to sto& of its own acco#*.
.hile na#cissistic thin7ingness an* the #esulting emotional suffe#ing a#ises f#om the o+session with ?me an* my
&#o+lems?, .itnessing essentially igno#es an* even fo#gets ?me? an* instea* chooses to focus on the "otality of
Life is it continually auto$unfol*s in the 8te#nal Now, which is whe#e one5s t#ue Self #esi*es. "he false self is the
?little me? @egoA an* the t#ue Self is the "otal )nive#se in the 8te#nal Now.
?Self$im&#ovement? is e>t#emely *ifficult +ecause the#e is a constant &ull +etween the &e#son you a#e, ve#sus the
&e#son you wish to eventually +ecome. "he *esi#e to evolve is a &ainful *esi#e to e>&e#ience +ecause you almost
always feel incom&lete, unsatisfie* with you#self, an* s&i#itually f#ust#ate*. Jou# +est f#ien* tells you he Bust
#eache* a state of +liss while me*itating an* you Bust want to 7ill him, 7now what I meanF An* &e#ha&s even wo#se,
most of you# f#ien*s seem to +e o+livious to s&i#itual &#og#ession an* seem &e#fectly ha&&y Bust +eing stu&i*, la/y,
wo##ie*, g#ee*y, +o#e*, stone*, lustful, an* *#un7.
In lea#ning to acce&t you# &#esent$*ay level of consciousness, as well as lea#ning to acce&t you# humanness, the#e
is usually a hesitation to totally acce&t these +ecause the Huestion then a#ises, ?If I acce&t myself fully as I am,
what will motivate me to &#og#ess an* evolve an* im&#ove myselfF? "he#e is the fea# that acce&tance coul* then
lea* to a&athy, la/iness, sloth, an* &e#ha&s even a fall+ac7 into &#eviously t#anscen*e* issues.
"he ego +elieves that the only way to im&#ove is via 5will &owe#5, which is a ty&e of &ushing, shoving, +ullying, an*
fo#cing one5s self to evolve. "he ego loves to use guilt, shame, an* con*escen*ing inne# voice tones into o#*e# to
t#y to motivate you to evolve. It uses the stic7 an* not the ca##ot.
In actuality, howeve#, in lea#ning to totally an* com&letely acce&t you# humanness, you5ll #a&i*ly ente# a much
*ee&e# state of Now94#esence than eve#. .hat ha&&ens is you sto& wo##ying a+out what level you5#e on, how fa#
you5ve come, what5s left to im&#ove still, how much longe# it will ta7e, an* all of those self$#efe##al @i.e., na#cissisticA
thoughts which have c#eate* a +ac7g#oun* of an>iety within you since the *ay you fell in love with self$
im&#ovement.
2o# e>am&le, so that this lesson sin7s in *ee&e#, t#y a sim&le e>&e#iment. :ecall of those to& ! to - emotions you
want to t#anscen*... O=, g#eat. Now #ecall what some of you# most &#essing &#o+lems an* issues with women a#e...
Nice. Now, notice how you feel insi*e. Notice the +ac7g#oun* of an>iety, notice the e>istential angst. It is li7e a sic7
feeling in the &it of you# stomach, isn5t itF "he feelings may +e *iffe#ent fo# some, such as feelings of heaviness,
ove#whelm, *e&#ession, wo##y, an* mo#e. 1e#y often this ?e>istential angst? is felt in the stomach o# sola#$&le>us,
+ut may also +e felt as a gene#al eve#ywhe#eness.
4eo&le usually *esc#i+e it as ?a &it in my stomach.? It is li7e a constant feeling that ?something is not o7ay.? Most
&eo&le eithe# #e&#ess this feeling out of awa#eness, o# sim&ly lea#n to live with it, naively assuming ?this is what life
is su&&ose* to +e li7e.?
.itness the wo#l* as it #uns a#oun* t#ying to cont#ol eve#ything an* eve#yone in o#*e# to t#y to lessen these
constant feelings. ?If only I ha* mo#e money, this feeling woul* go away.? O#, ?If only I ha* that #elationshi&, she
woul* ma7e this feeling *issolve.?
Sec#etly, howeve#, &eo&le actually want to feel this way @as sic7 as it soun*sA +ecause it is su&&o#tive of the illusion
that they a#e victims. 4e#ha&s #athe# stunningly, with enough conscious me*itation an* .itnessing, you may +egin
to see how &eo&le actually enBoy feeling li7e victims @an* com&laining all the timeA.
I was #ecently in an ai#&lane, an* #ight +efo#e ta7e$off they announce* that the#e was a com&ute# &#o+lem an* they
nee*e* mo#e time. As they tol* us this, you coul* feel a +ac7g#oun* of an>iety in thei# voices an* an ove#ly
a&ologetic *emeano#. "he stewa#*ess was Bust ?Sooo so##y? a+out this ?Ho##i+le *elay?, an* as though eve#yone
we#e hy&noti/e*, they all fell in line with this ?t#age*y? an* +egan to feel li7e victims.
I close* my eyes an* went into *ee& me*itation, ta7ing full a*vantage of the e>t#a time. A+out an hou# went +y, an*
they announce* that they we#e ?Soooo so##y? +ut the com&ute# ha* not +een fi>e* yet. "he moo* shifte* to an
even *a#7e# state, an* they soon tol* us that we nee*e* to get off the &lane an* go insi*e the waiting #oom
+ecause it coul* +e a while +efo#e a #esolution is foun*.
As I followe* the c#ow* of &eo&le insi*e an* sat *own, I #esolve* to use this time to *evelo& the a+solute *ee&est
me*itative state I &ossi+ly coul*. I close* my eyes, an* although it felt li7e only ten minutes ha* gone +y, in
actuality, a whole two hou#s flew +y. As they ma*e thei# announcements, I o&ene* my eyes an* felt as though I
was lite#ally high on LS, o# M,MA. 8ve#yone loo7e* e>t#emely +eautiful, luminescent, an* su##eal. "he wo#l*
seeme* to move as an automatic oneness an* in &e#fect ha#mony an* +alance.
As I loo7e* at all of the &eo&le, I notice* that they we#e all Huite f#ust#ate*, ti#e*, an* es&ecially com&laining.
8ve#yone seeme* to +e f#ien*s with eve#yone else, as they all com&laine*, whine*, an* +itche* a+out the ?unfai#?
situation they we#e in. .hile in my me*itative state of high +liss, it was clea# that un*e#neath the com&laining was a
st#ong *esi#e an* even a Buicy enBoyment that they we#e all getting out of thei# su&&ose* mise#y. "hey *esi#e to
com&lain, othe#wise they woul*n5t com&lain.
4#etty soon, the ai#line announce* that the flight ha* to +e cancele*, an* since it was now !am, they ha* #ese#ve*
f#ee hotels fo# all of us to enBoy. As I lit u& with ha&&iness @?2#ee hotelI JayI?A all of the ?slee&ing? humans ente#e* a
state of even mo#e victimhoo*. Jou coul* tell they all wante* to yell an* sc#eam, +ut we#e ca#efully #e&#essing thei#
emotions. Jou coul* see thei# inne# *inosau#s Bust *ying to come out.
Soon afte#, as &seu*o$f#ien*shi&s *ee&ene* all a#oun* me, I then witnesse* eve#yone +eginning to sha#e thei#
most che#ishe* ho##o# sto#ies with one anothe#...
?One time, I was in Mont#eal on a si> hou# flight, an* they *i*n5t even have foo* on the &laneI?
?Oh yeahF One time I was in Me>ico an* the ai#lines lost my tic7etI My name Bust *isa&&ea#e* f#om thei# stu&i*
com&ute#I?
,o not 7i* you#self, humans love to suffe# an* to com&lain. "hey actually love to com&lain mo#e than ma7ing love.
Humans have an an>ious ?&it? in thei# stomach an* *on5t 7now how to *issolve it.
8NO)<H IS 8NO)<H
"hat feeling has &e#ha&s se#ve* you u& until now, +ut #eali/e that it isn5t necessa#y to live this way any longe#.
"hose awful ?&it? feelings a#e +o#n out of the ego5s *esi#e to motivate you to im&#ove you# lifeG the ?&it? is +o#n out
of the fallacy of so$calle* ?will &owe#?, which #eally Bust means, ?I will im&#ove all +y myself without the hel& of
anyone else @inclu*ing <o*A.?
Let5s t#y a highe# way of self$im&#oving, shall weF
H8ALIN< "H8 4I"
8volution will ha&&en much Huic7e# f#om now on if you5#e willing to t#y this sim&le lesson... Let us now heal ?the &it.?
Notice the ?&it? in you# stomach is +o#n out of the *esi#e to +e something you still a#e not. "he ?&it? is +o#n out of
self$#eBection. It stems f#om non$acce&tance. It hates you# humanness an* loves to com&lain a+out it.
:ight now, in this moment, imagine what it woul* feel li7e if the &it we#e to *isa&&ea#. Imagine o# &#eten* that in
this ve#y moment of you# stu&i* little human life, you a#e now in the state of )ncon*itional an* "otal Acce&tance of
eve#y single human im&e#fection that you have @even the unconscious onesA.
Mo#e than Bust *ull ?acce&tance?, imagine that you love you# human self so com&letely that you +egin to Now see it
as +eing in a *ivine state of a+solute &e#fection. "he +ee# +elly is a &e#fect +ee# +ellyG the issues with lust a#e
&e#fect animal lust issuesG the shyness is a+solutely ma#velous. Imagine you a#e seeing you#self th#ough <o*5s
8yes #ight now. Jou# human self is at a ce#tain level of evolution, an* +y *esign, it is automatically going to evolve
s&ontaneously of its own. Cust li7e g#ass g#ows, so *oes all of Life g#ow an* evolve continuously an* non$sto&.
<#ass #eHui#es no ?will &owe#? o# motivation of any 7in*.
4#eten*, if you will, that it is not &ossi+le to com&lain o# wo##y a+out you#self. Imagine #ight now that you# +o*y an*
min* have *isa&&ea#e*, an* only the Silent .itness #emains. "hus, the#e is no nee* to ?thin7 a+out myself? any
longe#. Jou# only #emaining conce#n is the ha&&iness of othe#s.
Now he#e comes you# +o*y an* min* again, +ut you a#e still only conce#ne* a+out ma7ing Nothe#N &eo&le ha&&y.
Jou a#e total an* com&lete within you#self an* nee* nothing. "he +o*y$min* that you own is me#ely a tool that you
can use fo# going out into the wo#l* an* se#ving you# fellowman. Jou# own +o*y$min* is ?&e#fectly flawe*? as it is
an* #eHui#es no ?im&#ovements? of any 7in*, an* yet the#e is a silent 7nowingness that it will f#om now on evolve
s&ontaneously an* automatically of its own. All you nee* to *o is Bust fo#get a+out you# ?self? an* focus on hel&ing
?othe#s? in small ways. 8ven Bust o&ening the *oo# fo# someone #esults in an auto$im&#ovement of you#self. "he
less you thin7 a+out ?the me? an* the mo#e you focus on the othe# humans, the faste# you im&#ove an* evolve
&hysically, emotionally, an* s&i#itually.
Jou# +o*y is Bust a tool you can use fo# se#ving man7in*. "he +est way to se#ve man7in* is th#ough loving se#vice.
8ven Bust cleaning you# #oommates *ishes without com&laint @even though he clea#ly *oesn5t *ese#ve itA #esults in
the auto$im&#ovement of you#self. 2o#get a+out ?you? an* go &et you# 7itty, give a flowe# to a woman, +uy a +ee#
fo# the homeless guy, an* when you &#actice mo#e an* mo#e selflessness, <o* comes in an* gives you mo#e an*
mo#e 7un*alini ene#gy +ecause He sees that you nee* a +oost of ene#gy +ecause you a#e *oing His .o#7.
Loo7 only fo# o&&o#tunities to se#ve. It is the 7ey to #oc7$soli* confi*ence, ha&&iness, an* even Bliss. Selfless
se#vice heals you# 7a#ma an* ta7es you out of the min*.
Notice how you a#e much mo#e in "he Now than usual afte# #ea*ing this. By acce&ting you# humanness, you get
out of <o*5s way an* allow Him to *o the wo#7 fo# you, in which you sim&ly .itness <o*5s c#eation as evolution.
.hen un*e#stoo*, the s&i#itual affi#mation, ?I acce&t myself fully as I am? ta7es you #ight +ac7 into the 8te#nal Now
whe#e you can then se#ve othe#s.
Shyness is Bust selfishness *isguise* un*e# the shee&5s clothing of &seu*o$humility.
%onfi*ence is a state of ?fo#get myself an* se#ve othe#s.?
Se#vice to othe#s lea*s to S&i#itual ,isce#nment, which is an uncanny a+ility to ?Bust 7now? @i.e., intuitA when
someone can +e t#uste* o# not. "his then gives you the 4owe# to choose a t#uly goo* woman who will +e a+le to
Love you uncon*itionally.
"he uncon*itional love of a goo* woman is &e#ha&s the +est thing this enti#e wo#l* has to offe#.
.hateve# is going on within you# human +o*y as well as all a#oun* it th#oughout the total unive#se in the e>act s&it$
secon* of Now is you# t#ue Self. "he 8te#nal Now is you# t#ue Self. Jou a#e the a*vancing #a/o#s$e*ge of %#eation
as it unfol*s fo#eve#$eve#ywhe#e an* in all *imensions. Amen.
21. Healing "he Bo*y$Image
4e#ha&s the num+e# one #eason &eo&le att#act S",5s is *ue to Shame, which is a ty&e of na#cissistic self$
o+session that ve#y much *isto#ts the t#uth a+out one5s self, one5s &ast +ehavio#s, one5s +o*y, an* es&ecially, one5s
se>uality.
S8Y)AL SHAM8
.hen it comes to se>, Shame is the num+e# one issue that nee*s to +e heale* @+igtimeA. If we loo7 to the gay
community, even though the#e is so much ?gay &#i*e? @com&lete with &a#a*es, &olitics, an* se>y outfitsA going on,
on a *ee&e# @an* &e#ha&s unconsciousA level the#e is simultaneously much Shame going on as well. "hose who
wea# the +a*ge of 4#i*e simultaneously wea# the +a*ge of Shame +ecause 4#i*e an* Shame a#e essentially two
si*es of the same coin. Although 4#i*e feels goo* com&a#e* to Shame, the moment 4#i*e *oesn5t get the a&&#oval
of ego$self an*9o# othe#s, BAMI ...,own into Shame it falls.
4e#ha&s the gay community will some*ay evolve to hol* a Humility &a#a*e instea* of a 4#i*e &a#a*e. Humility
*oesn5t nee* to stan* tall, &uff u&, 5&eacoc75, an* t#y to ma7e u& fo# anything. Humility stan*s na7e* an* innocent,
without Shame. Along these lines, &e#ha&s a <#atitu*e &a#a*e woul* also se#ve the gay community much mo#e
than a 4#i*eful one.
.hen one lea#ns to +e g#ateful instea* of &#ou*, one is simultaneously ac7nowle*ging the Sou#ce of one5s
8>istence.
Life is a <ift.
So, Humility a*mits, ?My +o*y is not &e#fect an* my ego$self9intellect *on5t 7now much of anything? while <#atitu*e
a*mits, ?.ithout <o* as the ve#y Sou#ce an* su+st#ate of my ve#y 8>istence, I woul* not +e a+le to even
e>&e#ience whateve# it is I use* to +e so 5&#ou*5 of. "he#efo#e... "han7 Jou, Oh Lo#*, fo# the <ift of Life itself.
Amen.?
.hen the#e is Shame a+out one5s self @min* an* +o*yA it ten*s to att#act *isease an* *ecay. Shame is a ?sh#in7
*own an* hi*e? feelingG li7e g#avity, it &ulls one *ownwa#*s. "he#efo#e, it ten*s to 5att#act5 things to it which will
assist it, in a sense, in getting &ulle* *own even *ee&e#. Shame is essentially a &#aye# to *ie. Shame wants to *ie
an* *isa&&ea#, an* if it is allowe* to #each a ce#tain intensity, it will *o Bust that. "he +o*y an* min* will *ie.
Shame is most often closely$associate* to se>uality @*i#ectly o# in*i#ectlyA. "he#e can +e shame #ega#*ing the
genitals, shame a+out ce#tain +o*y &a#ts, shame a+out +eing too tall, too sho#t, o# not enough 5this5 an* too much
of 5that5. Shame is the#efo#e a highly c#itical ene#gy fiel*G it is, in a &#actical manne# of s&ea7ing, the ve#y o&&osite of
acce&tance an* Love.
4e#ha&s out of all the human emotions, Shame is the most &ainful one of all. It ma7es one feel as though one is
ugly, unwante*, unwo#thy, unatt#active, an* *es&ica+le. Now, the #eason this ene#gy fiel* lea*s to *isease an*
*eath is +ecause it &#actically #e&#esents the o&&osite of the "#uth. Shame is *evoi* of t#uth an* love.
ONLJ S")NNIN< 48:28%"ION 8YIS"S
In "#uth, as with the animal 7ing*om, the human +o*y is actually &e#fect, an* it is &e#fect +ecause its sou#ce comes
f#om ,ivinity. Now, all of the *iffe#ences in sha&es an* si/es *o e>ist, an* let5s +e f#an7... Some faces an* +o*ies
loo7 nice# than othe#s. Some a#e healthie# than othe#s, an* so on.
"he +o*y$image, which is the way the ego &e#ceives the +o*y, is a com&le> thing to w#ite a+out. 2o# one thing, the
ego al#ea*y has a ve#y fi>e* +o*y$image hel* in min*, an* it ten*s to cling on to that image an* *efen* it. Almost
nothing can change that +o*y$image.
8ve#yone 7nows that when a woman thin7s she5s fat, even if she is not fat, nothing can change he# stu++o#n
o&inion a+out it. 8ven the most +eautifully c#afte*, hea#tfelt, since#e, &oetic com&liments f#om a man who since#ely
loves an* t#uly a*o#es he# +o*y will often ma7e no *iffe#ence to he#. In fact, she might even #eBect him +ecause his
view of he# +o*y *oes not e>actly match he# view. "hus, she thin7s to he#self, ?He is a lia#. I am ugly, I am fat, an*
he tells me othe#wise. Let5s get #i* of him, he *oes not ag#ee with my o&inion an* is the#efo#e not t#ustwo#thy.?
"he ego often clings to its o&inions as if they we#e a life o# *eath issue. "o the ego, it is a+solutely im&e#ative to +e
5#ight5, an* to 5win5 @+ecause it #esults in 4#i*eA. Othe#wise, it woul* then have to a*mit that it has +een 5w#ong5 an*
is the#efo#e an unlova+le 5lose#5 @this then #esults in ShameA. "he ego will say an* *o Bust a+out anything in o#*e# to
avoi* the &ainful emotion of Shame, an* it will *o almost anything to enBoy the feeling of 4#i*e. It will gla*ly lie,
cheat, steal, an* even 7ill an* lite#ally even commit suici*e in o#*e# to avoi* 5losing face5 in f#ont of the othe# ego5s.
Cust #ecently, in fact, my wife went out fo# *inne# an* o#*e#e* a ,iet %o7e, +ut we ha* to #etu#n it +ecause it was
flat. I tol* the wait#ess, ?"hat5s O=. B#ing us two +ottles of +ee#, instea*? an* off she went.
.hen she #etu#ne*, she +#ought two *#aft +ee#s an* not +ottles. Now, I 7now fo# a fact that I went out of my way to
clea#ly state I wante* +ottles. :emem+e#, I Bust #etu#ne* those two %o7es +ecause they we#e flat, so I *i*n5t t#ust
that thei# *#aft +ee# woul* +e any *iffe#ent. In fact, each an* eve#y single time I o#*e# a +ee#, I go out of my way to
s&ecify that it must +e in a +ottle. I only *#in7 +ottle* +ee#.
.hen I mentione* that we ha* o#*e#e* two +ottles, he# ego5s innate ?I must always win an* +e #ight? &#og#amming
was t#igge#e*. Acco#*ing to he# o&inion, we o#*e#e* *#aft. Jou coul* see the loo7 in he# eye, an* it #eally was as
though we we#e *iscussing a life o# *eath issue. @"he *#aft +ee# taste* g#eat, so we Bust smile* &olitely an* let he#
5win5 an* +e 5#ight5, +ecause, lite#ally, it meant the wo#l* to he#.A
I guess you might +e laughing to you#self #ight now +ecause I am ce#tain you5ve ha* simila# e>&e#iences with
waite#s an* wait#esses who ma*e a sim&le mista7e with you# o#*e#. 8ven though you we#en5t ang#y, an* you we#e
actually Huite f#ien*ly an* un*e#stan*ing, they ma*e eve#ything out to +e ?you# fault.?
4eo&le often *es&ise ta7ing #es&onsi+ility fo# thei# mista7es +ecause they *on5t want to feel Ashame* an*
unlova+le.
"he &e#centage of &eo&le on this &lanet who will a*mit they ma*e even the most sim&le an* innocent of mista7es
is actually ve#y low. "o even a*mit, ?I misun*e#stoo* what you o#*e#e*? woul* necessa#ily 5cause5 them to lose
4#i*e an* fall *own into Shame. "o them, +eing seen as mista7en, o# w#ong is totally unacce&ta+le +ecause it
woul* simultaneously 5cause5 them to see themselves as totally unlova+le an* actually *es&ica+le. "hey woul* feel
mise#a+le, humiliate*, an* in that moment they woul* +elieve that <o* *es&ises them.
Of cou#se, this is usually going on within the unconscious. 4eo&le a#e gene#ally not awa#e that they a#e +eing #un
+y this 7in* of &#og#amming.
Shame stems f#om the +elief, ?<o* *es&ises me.?
"he ego *oes not t#ust no# +elieve in )ncon*itional Love +ecause it views such love as ?unfai#.? "o the &#i*eful
ego, one only ?*ese#ves? to +e love* when one is 5#ight5, 5su&e#io#5 to othe#s @es&ecially 5mo#ally su&e#io#5A, an* has
the#efo#e 5won5 in any en*eavo#. "he ego, unai*e*, *oes not un*e#stan* that <o* loves eve#yone uncon*itionally
@*ue to the sim&le fact that <o* is AllnessA.
No se&a#ation e>ists, othe# than in the ego9min*5s &e#ce&tion. <o* ?loves eve#y+o*y? +ecause <o* actually is
eve#y+o*y. <o* ?loves? +ecause Love an* <o* a#e one an* the same thing. Only Love e>ists. All non$love is Bust
an illusion, a ve#y convincing nightma#e that one must *esi#e to awa7en f#om.
8A"IN< ,ISO:,8:S
Ano#e>ia an* +ulimia a#e e>t#eme e>am&les whe#e a woman @usually a woman, anywayA who &ossesses a *ee&ly
*isto#te* +o*y$image an* manages to cling to that fallacious +o*y$image to the lite#al &oint of sta#vation, *isease,
an* even *eath. "his &henomenon has +affle* some of the g#eatest min*s in histo#y. How can an att#active woman
actually see he#self as ugly to the &oint whe#e she sto&s eating an* lite#ally sh#ivels u& an* ,I8SF
I haven5t the slightest clue. But, one thing is ce#tain, a +o*y$image is actually Bust an image, an* images a#e not
:eal. "he +o*y$image is Bust a conce&t, an i*ea, a +elief, a sym+ol, an o&inion, a nuisance. Is not having a +o*y
enoughF ,o we #eally nee* to t#ans&ose an o&inionate*9*isto#te* image on to& of ou# +o*iesF No, actually, we
*on5t.
Of cou#se the ego won5t let go of this without s&ecial assistance, +ecause it *oesn5t yet #eali/e that it is &e#fectly
safe to give u& the +o*y$image an* Bust *eal with the actual +o*y itself.
"o sim&ly .itness the +o*y as it is while #ef#aining f#om ma7ing any commenta#y a+out it is all that is #eHui#e*. "he
+o*y sim&ly ?is as it is? an* nothing mo#e nee*s to +e sai*.
H)MO:
One ve#y &owe#ful, an* often ove#loo7e* healing ene#gy fiel* is the ene#gy of humo#. In a sense, humo#,
com&assion, an* Love a#e all the same. 4#actically, anyway, humo# can +e thought of as a 5flavo#5 o# 5style5 of LoveG
it is one of the many avenues of e>&#ession that Love ta7es. It is well *ocumente* that Humo# has the 4owe# to
heal. It is well$7nown that &eo&le with cance# have imme#se* themselves in humo# via +oo7s, films, come*ians,
Bo7es, etc., an* the cance# has fully heale*.
4e#ha&s humo# can +e use* to heal Bust a+out anything in the wo#l*, inclu*ing the useless +o*y$image.
2o# instance, as a chil*, I use* to 5t#ance out5 an* 5+liss out5 wheneve# I woul* watch my mothe# &utting on he#
ma7eu&. .omen a#e so into thei# faces, an* they +ecome Huite a#tistic as they &ut on thei# ma7eu&, *on5t theyF "o
this *ay, wheneve# I watch a woman ?&utting on he# face? I ten* to +liss out an* &u## li7e a 7itty. Although ma7eu&
an* accesso#ies a#e sometimes f#owne* u&on +y 5#a*ical5 conse#vatives as +eing shallow, na#cissistic, lustful, an
e>&#ession of &#i*e9vanity, etc., this is not usually the case. A woman is sim&ly loving, a&&#eciating, an* highlighting
he# own +eauty. Nothing is mo#e s&i#itual than Beauty. Ma7eu& an* fashion a#e not necessa#ily &#i*efulG ?fashion is
a#t that you wea#.? @Base* on what I have seen thus fa#, I5m guessing that slightly ove# 60D of the #ea*e#s of these
a#ticles a#e utte#ly fashion clueless an* an* woul* +enefit immensely f#om a se#ious ma7eove#. Ma7e eve#ything in
you# life +eautiful E you# clothes, you# home, etc., an* you will 5att#act5 +eauty to you#self.A
So anyway, my mothe# ha* eve#y 7in* of mi##o# the#e was in e>istence, an* one of he# mi##o#s was e>t#emely cool.
It was #oun*, an* a+out 12 inches in *iamete#, an* it swung a#oun* on its a>is so she coul* fli& it to one si*e to see
he# face 5as it is5, an* fli& it to the othe# si*e to see a RH)<8IS ve#sion of he# face. "he *isto#te* RH)<8IS ve#sion
allowe* he# to focus in on little *etails of he# face, ma7ing it easie# to +e &#ecise.
SuggestionK
<et you#self a &iece of &a&e#, a &en, some scotch ta&e, an* get you#self one of those 5fattening5 mi##o#s.
Now, #ight ne>t to you# toilet, &lace the mi##o# the#e so the 5fattening5 si*e is facing you.
Ne>t, ma7e a little note that says, ?.o#l*5s <#eatest Schlong E .omen, Bewa#e Of Si/eI 4otentially Lethal %oc7.?
"a&e the note to the wall, an* eve#y time you ta7e a &iss, loo7 at you# huge coc7 in that 5coc7 fattening5 mi##o#.
"hat5s my suggestion fo# guys who have the small &enis issue.
See whe#e I5m hea*e* with thisF Humo# is the way out of ta7ing you# +o*y$image too se#iously. "o heal a *isto#te*
+o*y$image, it is im&o#tant to lay it on thic7. 8ve#ything a+out you# stu&i*, fat, *isgusting +o*y must +ecome funny
to you. Because, if the#e is any Shame a+out you# +o*y E even Bust a little shame E women will unconsciously &ic7
u& on it an* feel ?tu#ne* off.?
"he#efo#e, Bust ma7e fun of you# flaws, o&enly. :ight in f#ont of the woman.
In the +e*#oom an* in se>, a man *oesn5t #eally get to enBoy his woman5s +o*y unless he feels comfo#ta+le a+out
his own +o*y. Othe#wise, he5s too +usy suc7ing in his gut, hi*ing his coc7 @+y not letting he# see it unless it is
e#ectA, an* so on. His +o*y *oesn5t ca#e what it loo7s li7e, +ut his +o*y$image ?ca#es? ve#y *ee&ly, so to s&ea7.
Many &eo&le will go thei# whole lives feeling ugly an* ashame* an* actually neve# #eali/e that it is uneccessa#y to
feel this way.
"he wo#l*5s a*vice is usually, ?,on5t com&a#e you#self to mo*els, then you won5t feel infe#io#I? an* that is well$
inten*e*, logical a*vice +ut it usually won5t hel& anyone ve#y much +ecause it *oesn5t ta7e into account the co#e of
the issue. "hat is, we feel 5self$conscious5. .e a#e conscious a+out ou# +o*ies, an* we view ou# +o*ies th#ough a
*isto#te* lens calle* 5+o*y$image5. ,#o& the image an* associate* commenta#y, an* *#o& the loo7ing at the +o*y
as much as &ossi+le.
I often suggest to stu*ents, ?Sto& loo7ing at you#self in the mi##o# all the time. 8ven if you li7e what you see, cut it
out. It is chil*ish. An* even if you enBoy the view, you won5t enBoy it fo# long. Jou# +o*y is *oome*, f#ien*.? "hus,
na#cissism is me#ely a self$o+session which lea*s to suffe#ing. 4#i*e inevita+ly lea*s to shame, the#efo#e, the
suggestion is to sim&ly fo#get the +o*y an* fo#get the +o*y$image. Igno#e the mi##o#s fo# they a#e all illusions. "he
mi##o# on you# wallG the mi##o# in you# hea*G they a#e not :eal.
"he ego is me#ely a house of mi##o#s. "hose mi##o#s ma7e you loo7 goo*, loo7 +a*, loo7 +eautiful, loo7 ho##i+le,
loo7 saintly, loo7 evil, an* they fo#eve# change an* *isto#t the :eal. Mi##o#s a#e *evoi* of LoveG they a#e col* an*
loveless.
SHJN8SS
"o e#a*icate shyness, it may +e hel&ful to #eali/e that it is +ase* on as7ing the Huestion, ?How *o the othe# ego5s
&e#ceive meF? It then loo7s at one5s self th#ough the col*, c#itical, an* loveless view&oint of &#i*e. "hus, shyness is
a7in to having a loveless an* highly c#itical au*ience in one5s min*. "he au*ience is imagina#y, hy&othetical, an* is
unfo#giving of even the slightest &e#ceive* flaws.
Simila#ly, thin7ingness itself also involves an inne# au*ience. One5s thoughts, fantasies an* imaginations a#e then
Bu*ge* +y this inne# hy&othetical an* imagina#y au*ience. "hus, thin7ing9mentali/ation is actually a show, a &lay, a
*#ama which is always +efo#e an inne# au*ience often com&#ise* of one5s &a#ents, teache#s, f#ien*s, enemies, etc.
"he ego wants to +e the he#o, the mo*el, the acto#, the cele+#ity, etc., an* e>&en*s most of its ene#gy engage* in
thin7ing an* t#ying to im&#ess these ?inne# &#i*eful f#ien*s? with mentali/ation.
.ith only a little me*itation o# int#os&ection, as well as inne# honesty, it is easy to *iscove# this ?inne# au*ience.?
As7 you#self, ?.hom am I &e#fo#ming fo# #ight nowF? an* ta7e the time to *iscove# who5s watching you wheneve#
you thin7. Is it you# mothe#, fathe#, +#othe#, teache#, he#o, f#ien*, foe, o# some com+inationF On some occasions
the#e may even +e an inne# au*ience of thousan*s of st#ange#s @such as when you5#e &laying ?ai# guita#? +y
you#self in you# #oomA. An*, of cou#se, the#e is <o*, o# at least the#e is a hy&othetical human$li7e ve#sion of ?Him?
su&&ose*ly watching an* Bu*ging. In some cases the#e may +e ?Hel&e#s? such as angels, gui*es, *emons, ghosts,
an* *evils. @.ith this 7in* of &e#fo#mance an>iety, is it no won*e# the ego feels so many negative emotions.A
"he suggestion is to &ause eve#y now an* again to as7 you#self, ?.ho5s watching me thin7F?
"he *iscove#y of ?who5s watching? will often ma7e you laugh at the silliness of the ego an* will hel& lessen the g#i&
that thin7ingness has u&on you. Inten* to see how cute the ego is. It is ve#y innocentG it is ve#y much a7in to a naive
&seu*o$cele+#ity who Bust ha&&ens to +e &utting on a neve#$en*ing &e#fo#mance. 8ven while it is slee&ing, the
&e#fo#mance continues on...
S8L2L8SSN8SS
"he ?cu#e? fo# all human &#o+lems is the *evelo&ment of the state of selflessness, which is a .itness state f#ee
f#om &e#fo#mance an>iety an* the #esulting conco#*ant emotionalities of &#i*e, *esi#e, ange#, guilt, shame,
*e&#ession, an* so on.
Na#cissism is a state of selfishness. "hat is, one is conce#ne* fo# the welfa#e of the ego$self. By cont#ast,
selflessness is the state in which one is #elatively unconce#ne* a+out the ego$self an* mostly conce#ne* with
hel&ing othe#s in whateve# ca&acity seems a&&#o&#iate.
Na#cissistic &#i*efulness an* selfishness can +e li7ene* to a state of %ele+#ityness in which one is constantly t#ying
to &e#fo#m fo# othe#s in o#*e# to im&#ess them an* gain thei# a&&#oval. It the#efo#e &laces one5s ha&&iness an*
ultimate fate into the han*s of othe#s, #esulting in the state 7nown as ?insecu#ity.?
Selflessness, on the othe# han*, #esults in a state of #oc7$soli* inne# secu#ity an* confi*ence +ecause it essentially
fo#gets itself an* focuses &#ima#ily on se#vice towa#* othe#s. "he .itness state is actually a state of emotionless$
loving conce#n fo# the welfa#e of othe#s. So much so that it fo#gets a+out ?myself? an* #emains &oise* in the
&e#i&he#al vision an* in the Now +ecause it *oesn5t want to miss out on any o&&o#tunities to se#ve othe#s an* to
se#ve Life itself an* the#efo#e <o*.
"o heal se>ual shyness, it is only necessa#y to let go of wanting to +e the %ele+#ity, an* to instea* focus on
&leasing, an* se#ving, the woman you a#e now na7e* an* in +e* with. "o heal a&&#oach an>iety, it is only
necessa#y to let go of wanting to +e the 4)A %ele+ an* to instea* focus on how to give women ha&&iness, safety,
an* Coy.
"he t#ic7 is to essentially fo#get a+out you#self an* lea#n to focus only on the woman. Cust wo##y a+out he#, an*
*on5t wo##y a+out ?you.? "hat is Love.
As a .omani/e#, you# only conce#n is a+out he#, an* how to ma7e he# ha&&y with whateve# #esou#ces a#e
availa+le to you #ight Now. It is all a+out he#, an* only he#. Jou *on5t want no# nee* anything f#om he#.
@4a#a*o>ically, selflessness #esults in fin*ing a woman who wants to give you the whole wo#l*.A
:8C8%"ION
.hen a man is not love* in #etu#n @i.e., ?#eBecte*?A his min* ten*s to want to 7now .hy. In actuality, howeve#, it is
+est to #emain Stu&i* a+out such matte#s. "hat is, it is wise to not even as7 .hy Huestions +ecause in eve#y
situation the#e a#e an infinite num+e# of 5causes5, most of which the human min* is unawa#e of an* will neve#
successfully *etect. "hus, even 2#eu*, one of the g#eatest min*s in the histo#y of man7in*, state* with g#eat
humility that he *oesn5t 7now the fi#st thing a+out what women want. 4e#ha&s since it is not &ossi+le to 7now what
women want, it is +est to Bust give them eve#ything you have.
.ith shyness, a&&#oach an>iety, an* fea# of #eBection, it may +e Huite hel&ful to #eali/e that such an emotional
con*ition can only come into e>istence +ecause one is unconsciously engaging the +elief, ?<o* will &unish me if I
a&&#oach he#.? "hus, wheneve# fea#, wo##y, o# an>iety a#ise, t#y the affi#mation, ?<o* *oes not *esi#e to &unish me.
In "#uth, <o*5s .ill is fo# me to +e One with Him.?
If you still have a&&#oach an>iety, the suggestion to w#ite this affi#mation *own an* to #e&eat it to you#self each an*
eve#y single time you thin7 a+out tal7ing to an att#active woman. :e&eat it a few times, an* then #etu#n to the
.itness state @conte>t9&e#i&he#al visionA. In *ue time, you# a&&#oach an>iety shoul* heal.
22. :eview Of "he Basics
8motions a#e t#ic7y things to han*le sim&ly +ecause many have not yet lea#ne* to acce&t thei# own humanness,
thei# *ownsi*e, thei# im&e#fections, etc., an* to o&enly laugh at themselves. 4#i*e wants to ,eny one5s *ownsi*e in
o#*e# to avoi* humiliation$shame, an* as we5ve seen in &#evious a#ticles, &eo&le will gene#ally *o Bust a+out
anything to avoi* the emotion of Shame.
?Inne# <ame? an* confi*ence #eally Bust +oils *own to this. It is whe#e you can acce&t you# humanness, laugh
o&enly at you# *ownsi*e, sto& wo##ying a+out it, an* sta#t ?wo##ying? a+out how to se#ve othe#s in small ways
instea*. "#ue confi*ence is #eally Bust a state of Selflessness.
"he well$7nown ,avi* ,. has sai* that you cannot +o#e a woman into li7ing you, an* that is e>actly co##ect. "he
insecu#e man is ?+o#ing? to women +ecause he is too conce#ne* with himself.
4e#ha&s one of the main #easons most men a#e +o#ing an* *ull an* lifeless is *ue to thei# emotions +ecoming
?+ottle$nec7e*.? Li7e thoughts, they get into a ?t#affic Bam? state an* neve# Huite e>&#ess an* come out. .e tal7e*
a+out letting ange# out, an* I also @#athe# cynically, &e#ha&sA mentione* how most #ea*e#s won5t *o it. Human life is
in*ee* so com&le> an* so *ifficult that even the sim&lest @an* clea#ly +eneficialA solutions will only +e #ea* a+out
+ut not &ut into &#actice. @One statistic is that less than ten &e#cent of &eo&le will actually #ea* mo#e than the fi#st
cha&te# of any +oo7 they have &u#chase*.A
,ue to the na#cissistic, negative, unhealthy, etc., thought &atte#ns @most of which a#e not even notice*A, most
humans a#e heavily inun*ate* with negative emotions an* feelings, which then 5colo#5 &e#ce&tion an* actions.
Nota+le is that a&&#o>imately even less than 'D of human7in* a#e even ca&a+le of +asic fo#giveness, much less
)ncon*itional Love of which 66.D of man7in* is not ca&a+le of feeling no# e>&#essing no# living as a consistent
lifestyle. Most &eo&le seem &e#fectly content living out mun*ane lives that a#e fille* with only shallow an* +#ief
successes as well as #esentment, self$&ity, ange#, hat#e*, Bu*gmentalism, lies, an* es&ecially the illusion of 5mo#al
su&e#io#ity5 which is the num+e# one favo#ite to&ic of *iscussion at eve#y *inne# ta+le ac#oss the glo+e @all of which
cont#i+ute to the ego5s favo#ite illusion of all, that of 5victimhoo*5A.
As a #esult of so much consistent ove#$in*ulgence in negativity, man7in* has a host of emotional *iso#*e#s @an
estimate* 1-D of Ame#icans a#e mentally ill Rove# !0 millionSG only 1-D of humans wo#l*wi*e a#e ca&a+le of even
the most +asic an* #u*imenta#y levels of integ#ity Rsuch as since#ity, honesty, an* genuine 7in*nessS, an* less than
10D of humanity Hualifies to +e consi*e#e* No#mal +y &sychological stan*a#*sA.
8MO"IONSK LO189HA"8
In ou# society, emotions ten* to +e wo#shi&e* an* con*emne* simultaneously.
.e have a love9hate #elationshi& with them.
Many have lea#ne* to #e&#ess thei# emotions +ecause they we#e &unishe* +y &a#ents an* society fo# +eing too
e>&#essive an* innocent in thei# youths. As a*ults, wheneve# thei# emotions *o come out, thei# e>&#ession often
invites attac7 o# #eBection. Society gives ?nasty loo7s?, shame then a#ises, an* the emotions +loc7.
4eo&le often #e&#ess thei# emotions out of awa#eness, often ca#efully ma7ing su#e to &lace foo* an* alcohol in
the#e to ma7e su#e those nasty emotional feelings stay whe#e they +elong E in hi*ing. "he ego often lea#ns, ?I
+ette# 7ee& my feelings to myself, othe#wise &eo&le will Bu*ge, *is#es&ect, hate, an* #eBect me fo# +eing human.? In
wo#7ing with thousan*s of men who &otentially want to ?.omani/e?, it is usually clea# to me that these men a#e
Huite lite#ally not ca&a+le of +eing themselves even on the most +asic levels of social functionality @such as
laughing at a goo* Bo7e when it is a&&#o&#iate to *o soA.
Human life is e>t#emely *ifficult, an* eve#yone has a multitu*e of com&le> things to han*le simultaneously such as
time &#essu#es, 57a#ma5 o# the unconscious min*, +#ain &hysiology, +loo* &#essu#e, level of consciousness,
chil*hoo* u&+#inging, social con*itioning, #eligious +eliefs, animal instinctual *#ives, f#ien*s an* enemies,
&#og#amming via the me*ia @lust$+ase* a*ve#tising, &o#nog#a&hy, thousan*s of mu#*e#s on television an* in
movies, et al.A, an* mo#e.
,enial an* #e&#ession #e&#esent limitations to +e ove#come, howeve#, they a#en5t all that +a*. Acco#*ing to ,#.
Milton H. 8#ic7son, the unconscious min* has the ?*uty? an* #es&onsi+ility of 7ee&ing out of man5s awa#eness
anything that it *eems he is not yet #ea*y to han*le. "hus, if too much *enial we#e su**enly lifte*, &e#ha&s it woul*
#esult in him +ecoming emotionally @an* even &hysicallyA ove#whelme*.
A LI28 O2 LO18 @IS A LO18 O2 LI28A
As a ce#tain level of ,ivine Stu&i*ity 9 Silent .itness is *evelo&e*, to .omani/e effectively, man must also lea#n to
live his life to the fullest. He must effectively lea#n to ?fuc7? women an* ?fuc7? the wo#l*. "he &#e#eHuisite is to
maste# one5s emotions +y sim&ly allowing them to flow wheneve# an* howeve# they s&ontaneously a#ise. In *oing
so, emotions a#e &#og#essively t#anscen*e* an* come to +e #e&lace* +y emotionless Boy, inne# &eace,
s&ontaneous humo#, en*o#&hins$+liss, an* uncon*itional love.
In the +eginning of this &#og#am you hea#* me going on an* on a+out how much &eo&le actually enBoy thei#
suffe#ing. It *oes ta7e a &#etty high state to +e a+le to see this. "hat is, the so$calle* 5thi#* eye5 must +e well
*evelo&e*, othe#wise the#e woul* li7ely +e too much *enial. It ta7es a high *eg#ee of un$attachment to a*mit the
t#uth that the ego ?loves to suffe#? in that it is heavily &#one to setting itself u& as the 5victim5. It *eli+e#ately fo#gets
the 7eys, fo# e>am&le, so that it can com&lain a+out +eing late.
I also mentione* @+#ieflyA that &eo&le simultaneously hate thei# suffe#ing. "his si*e of the coin is easy to see.
Anyone can see that &eo&le hate to suffe# +ecause it is so &ainful.
.ell, *ue to this love9hate #elationshi& with suffe#ing, human emotions ?+ottlenec7? into a se#ious ?t#affic Bam? state.
Many humans #emain in this ?*ea*? o# ?aslee&? state fo# thei# enti#e lifetimes, often *ying of *iseases they may not
have 5att#acte*5 to themselves ha* they t#anscen*e* this love9hate #elationshi& with emotions an* suffe#ing.
An* again, we tal7e* a+out e>&#essing ange#$#age an* letting it out, consciously an* *eli+e#ately.
.hen one can acce&t thei# inne# animal5s #age an* allow it to +e f#ee, something magical ha&&ens. As you let out
you# #age while simultaneously fo#giving9acce&ting it fully, you5ll +egin to see the Beauty of #age. Jou5ll sna& you#
,enial state an* come to see the 8NCOJM8N" of #age.
:age is a fun state to +e inI
It su#e +eats hanging out in fea# an* *e&#ession.
In #age, the animal swells u& an* c#eates enough ene#gy to ma7e things ha&&en, to *efen* itself, an* to &#otect its
own life an* the lives of othe#s.
Jou get ang#y +ecause you Love you# Life.
Jou Love it so much that you want to &#otect it, 7ee& it safe, hol* onto it, gua#* an* *efen* it, an* sustain it fo# as
long as you can.
Jou get 4#i*eful +ecause you love you# lifeI Jou swell u& with &#i*e an* wait fo# the nea#+y females to @ho&efullyA
notice you. 4#i*e is ha#*ly ?evil.? It must +e cele+#ate* +efo#e it can +e t#anscen*e*. It has to +e ?e>&e#ience* out?
consciously. A sense of humo# hel&s.
Jou have lust an* *esi#e +ecause you love &ussyI "his is ha#*ly evil. Limiting, yes, +ut evilF Hell no.
Jou have fea# an* wo##y +ecause you want a goo* futu#eI Jou want to liveG even the most *ownt#o**en, sic7ly,
homeless, *isease* &eo&le still love thei# lives an* still cling on to thei# *ying +o*ies. ,o you #eali/e the amount of
suffe#ing &eo&le actually en*u#e, Bust to 7ee& a stu&i* +o*yF
Of cou#se when all of the lowe# emotions such as fea#, ange#, *esi#e, an* &#i*e a#e t#anscen*e*, they a#e then
#e&lace* +y emotionless Coy.
Now the ego thin7s, ?8motionless CoyFI? an* &ictu#es a nea#ly *ea* &e#son with a c#ee&y smile on thei# face, o#
something to that effect. "he ego is ill$eHui&&e* to even #emotely imagine, much less antici&ate an* un*e#stan*,
what Coy, Love, an* Bliss even a#e. Jet, if you5#e #ea*ing this a#ticle an* a#e on the e*ge of you# seat an* can5t wait
to see what I5ll say ne>t, Love, Bliss, an* Coy a#e you# ,estiny. "he Huestion +ecomes, ?How *o we get you to Bliss
an* Coy... 2AS"8:F?
How may I se#ve youF
Having live* a ve#y full life in a state of #elative semi$8nlightenment, com&lete with having *ate* hun*#e*s of
+eautiful women, an* having the o&&o#tunity to closely stu*y men f#om all ove# the wo#l* whom, fo# whateve#
#eason, have not ha* my goo* fo#tune with the fai#e# se>, it seems to me that the num+e# one &sychological issue
common to all of these men is sim&ly that they ta7e themselves @an* life itselfA too se#iously as a #esult of having
#e&#esse* thei# emotions fo# whateve# #eason.
"he way out of this hell is to sim&ly sto& ,enying an* con*emning an* #esisting an* 5loo7ing *own on5 you# +asic,
animalistic, chil*ish, nee*y, silly, limite* human$ego self L emotions. Jou must che#ish an* Love them sooo
much... that the Love auto$heals them. Of cou#se, many #ea*e#s a#e familia# with the seve#al$thousan*$yea#s$ol*
;en techniHue I have te#me* 5/en su##en*e#ing5. .hen seen fo# what it is, 5/en su##en*e#ing5 is something of a t#ic7,
o# a con game, in o#*e# to assist those humans that a#e stuc7 in ,enial to actually come to acce&t an* eventually
even Love thei# own emotions. 4e#ha&s it is a well$inten*e*, ve#y loving 5t#ic75 as taught fo# thousan*s of yea#s +y
;en Maste#s who un*e#stan* human ,enial94#i*e an* how to snea7 &ast it so that a t#ue healing @i.e. Acce&tance
an* LoveA can finally occu#. .hat a fa+ulous t#ic7, in*ee*.
"o lea#n how to easily acce&t one5s 5lowe#5 emotions, it is im&e#ative to let go of the 4#i*eful *esi#e to own them, o#
to i*entify with them an* call these emotions 5me5 an* 5mine5 an* 5this is who I am5. .hen this is un*e#stoo*, only
then a#e you t#uly f#ee to allow them to flow without feeling guilty o# ashame* a+out them o# wo##ying that the
emotions will somehow &ossess you an* im&ai# you# ca&acity fo# #eality$testing.
%ONS%IO)SLJ B8%OMIN< ?A LI""L8 BI" %:A;J?
A .omani/e# is ALI18.
He loves life an* loves his emotions an* loves women.
.hen you# fea# comes u&, 288L I".
"he 7ey to t#anscen*ing emotion is to feel each an* eve#y emotion as it a#ises in the Now.
"he fea# of living this way comes u&. Men a#e af#ai* of letting go +ecause they *on5t want to in*ulge in thei#
emotions an* the#e+y #is7 #einfo#cing them, #athe# than t#anscen*ing them. But, it is one thing to selfishly in*ulge in
you# emotions without any conce#n fo# the welfa#e of othe#s, an* yet it is Huite anothe# to consciously feel all of you#
emotions while +eing consi*e#ate of othe#s an* while having the intention to let you# emotions 5#un out5 so that you
can t#anscen* them.
"he suggestion is to sta#t slowly, an* +uil* f#om the#e. Also, it can +e ve#y hel&ful to e>age##ate the emotions as
they come u&, while a**ing a &layful ene#gy. 2o# e>am&le, when &#i*e is *etecte*, a Huic7 way to heal it is to
sim&ly ?ma7e fun of it? +y &u#&osefully inflating, 5&uffing u&5, wal7ing with you# nose u& in the ai#, etc.
.hen ange# comes u&, it is ve#y hel&ful @when con*itions &e#mitA to e>age##ate the ange# an* +#ing it to the level of
&u#e #age. "hus, even a little f#ust#ation can +e &u#&osefully inflate* into a full$+lown #age.
"his e>age##ation techniHue can +e ve#y useful fo# all of the emotions that have a lot of ene#gy associate* with
them such as fea#, *esi#e, sa*ness, ange#, an* so on. It is not, noweve#, ve#y useful with the lowe# emotions such
as *e&#ession, guilt, o# shame. @A techniHue will +e &#ovi*e* sho#tly.A
%ONS%IO)S 4ASSION 81OL18S IN"O %OM4ASSION
as emotions a#e allowe* to ?+#eathe? in this fashion, women often fin* it Huite att#active. By +eing willing to 5go fi#st5
an* 5live +y e>am&le5, you unconsciously give women &e#mission to *o the same. An* women a#e ?*ying? to fin* a
man who can +e this way fo# them. .omen a#e ve#y emotional insi*e, yet the ave#age man is af#ai* of his own
emotions an* the#efo#e af#ai* of he# emotions. "hus, when a man has come to te#ms with his own emotions an*
can f#eely e>&#ess them @an* even e>age##ate an* ma7e fun of themA he stan*s out in he# min* as a healthy male.
Men a#e af#ai* to a&&#oach women +ecause they fea# the woman coul* &otentially +ecome emotional. Hec7, she
might sta#t sc#eaming +loo*y hell fo# all he 7nows. Since he is af#ai* of his own emotions, an* women a#e 7nown to
+e emotional c#eatu#es, he fea#s women ve#y *ee&ly. "hus, this techniHue of e>age##ation &lus humo#ous ?ma7ing
fun of? the human emotions as they a#ise in the Now lea*s to a consi*e#a+le lessening of a&&#oach an>iety an*
shyness as well.
4:A%"I%)M
By acce&ting that you# ego is Bust a chil*ish little animal, an* in lea#ning to love you# ego, you5ll +ecome #elatively
f#ee f#om guilt, shame, #est#aint, an* const#aint. Life +ecomes a continuous &a#ty, as you +ecome ?a little c#a/y.?
.omen floc7 to you +ecause you# &#esence is so healing an* so fun. "hey a#e constantly laughing an* enBoying
themselves.
One of the Huic7est ways to #each this state of humo#ous self$acce&tance, &#ofoun* inne# fle>i+ility, an* totally
?non$se#ious? f#ee*om is to consciously change the way that you tal7 to you#self in you# hea*. "he inne# voice has
to change Huality, tem&o, tone, etc., an* +ecome f#ee f#om +eing too se#ious. Most guys a#e so emotionally
#e&#esse* that they have +ecome way too se#ious all the time.
"he suggestion fo# to*ay is to sto& tal7ing to you#self an* sta#t singing to you#self. ,on5t utte# anothe# sentence in
the#e unless it is +eing sung in some way. 4lay a#oun* with you# inne# voice. It *oesn5t have to soun* li7e the
gove#nment. It *oesn5t nee* to soun* li7e you# fathe# use* to soun*, no# *oes it have to soun* li7e it is a &olice
office#. It can +e &leasant, fun, an* life$enhancing. "#y tal7ing in a se>y &o#n$sta# voice wheneve# you feel the nee*
to com&lain. "#y a little se>y moaning. ?Mmmm, I5m soooo... st#esse*, oh yeahI 2uc7 me ha#*e#, yeahI? "#y singing
a+out you# #elationshi& &#o+lems instea* of wo##ying a+out them. "#y #a&&ing instea* of having a ?*ea* se#ious?
tone in you# min*.
"his techniHue wo#7s es&ecially well on the low$ene#gy emotions such as shame, guilt, a&athy, etc., an* can +e
use* on all issues with su#&#ising an* lightning$Huic7 #ecove#y #ates. It is *ifficult fo# the ego to ta7e life too
se#iously an* to feel li7e a 5victim5 when it is singing a+out it5s own issues.
2!. "he Sol*ie# An* "he Innocent Boy
"he em&hasis on +eing Silent *u#ing the &ic7u& #eally Bust means to give women some s&ace, some f#ee*om. It is
only necessa#y to Be @fully 4#esentA with he#, +ecause the state of Now is the state of selflessness.
It is not even &ossi+le to wo##y a+out you#self an* how you a&&ea# while you a#e .itnessingG this state Huiets the
min* in a matte# of secon*s. It heals shyness in *ue time.
%ON2I,8N%8 18:S)S SHJN8SS
Selfless se#vice is the 7ey to t#ue confi*ence.
Shyness9a&&#oach$an>iety is a state of +eing ?self conscious.? @Ove#ly conscious a+out the ego self an* how one
a&&ea#s to othe#s th#ough the 5lens5 of &#i*e.A
"hose who lac7 confi*ence a#e actually Bust ove#ly 5me5 o#iente*. In lea#ning how s&ecifically to se#ve women in
a&&#o&#iate ways, shyness *issolves fo#eve#. It is Huite &ossi+le to #each a state whe#e it is su+Bectively im&ossi+le
to feel shy.
So how *oes one go a+out ?se#ving? women, e>actlyF A#e we su&&ose* to volountee# at the +atte#e* woman5s
shelte#, se#ve the homeless in a sou& 7itchen, o# whatF I once wo#7e* in a ma>i$&a* facto#y... *oes that countF
"hose a#e commen*a+le, yes, +ut it isn5t necessa#y to 5*o5 anything in o#*e# to se#ve. "he *evelo&ment of a non$
Bu*gmental Silent .itness state actually se#ves all of humanity +ecause it affects the fiel* of consciousness. "hose
who love ma7e it easie# fo# othe#s to follow.
"o se#ve a woman, it is only necessa#y to o&enly a&&#eciate9#es&ect9#eve#e he# femininity.
28A: O2 :8C8%"ION
"hose who fea# #eBection a#e actually the ones who themselves Bu*ge an* #eBect the whole wo#l*. "he#efo#e, they
live in a &a#anoi* state in constant fea# of #etaliation. "he#e is a +ac7g#oun* of an>iety at all times @?e>istential
angst?A.
"o .omani/e, all that is #eHui#e* is to let go of Bu*gmentalismI
It is not &ossi+le to fea# #eBection when one has t#anscen*e* Bu*ging self an* othe#s an* is the#efo#e ca&a+le of
love. @If a woman #eBects me, I *o not go to shame +ecause I 7now fo# a fact that I haven5t +een Bu*gmental,
negative, mani&ulative, an* lustful. All I *i* was to say ?hello? f#om the state of A+solute 1ulne#a+ility an*
Innocence to the ve#y +est of my limite* human a+ility. I fell in love with he# +eauty, an* that is ha#*ly cause fo#
#eBection an* sco#n. I the#efo#e clea#ly See that he# #eBection of me stems f#om he# own &a#anoi* &#oBections an*
actually has nothing to *o with the #eal me at all. She is me#ely seeing a *isto#te* ve#sion of me an* not my #eal
self.A
2ea# of #eBection is *ifficult to ove#come +ecause the min* is so convincing. One way to ove#come this fea# is to
wo#7 on saying as little as &ossi+le. "he less one says, the less the#e is fo# a woman to #eBect.
"o avoi* #eBection, as soon as the woman says something, the ave#age &e#son t#ies to fin* something smooth an*
cleve# to say in #es&onse. It can +e Huite e*ucative to watch a few movies o# television shows an* note how
common it is fo# the acto#s to have so many ?ama/ing? things to say to each othe#. 8ven what a#e su&&ose* to +e
casual conve#sations among f#ien*s a#e often *e&icte* as if the cha#acte#s we#e a&&lying fo# a Bo+ o# t#ying to win a
4#esi*ential *e+ate.
At fi#st, it may soun* almost un+elieva+le that you *on5t have to +ecome a smooth$tal7e# to enBoy success in the
*ating wo#l*. Men have +een heavily &#og#amme* +y the me*ia an* Inte#net to +elieve they ?+ette# have some
inc#e*i+le things to say, othe#wise women will Bust get +o#e* an* wal7 off.? In #eality, howeve#, wal7ing ove# to a
woman in a state of awe is mo#e than enough.
SIN%8:I"J
1e#y often, a stu*ent will a&&#oach a woman, t#y one o# two of the techniHues I5ve sha#e* with him, an* then come
to see me an* as7 why his a&&#oach *i*n5t go ve#y well, o# what coul* he have *one to im&#ove it. I might as7 him,
?On a scale of one to ten, how att#acte* an* in love we#e you with this womanF? an* he might #e&ly, ?4#o+a+ly a si>
o# a seven. She was o7ay, +ut not that cute.? "hen I will say, ?So you we#e #eally Bust &#acticing you# a&&#oachesF?
an* he will #es&on*, ?Jes, e>actly. .hat *o you thin7 I coul* have *one to im&#oveF?
"#uthfully, unless you a#e totally an* since#ely 7noc7e* out +y the woman, she will sense it. She 7nows something
is clea#ly ?off.? A woman5s intuition is no Bo7e... women a#e &owe#ful c#eatu#es, much mo#e &owe#ful than men in
this #es&ect.
)nless a man since#ely loves the woman, is +lown away +y he#, totally 7noc7e* out, #eve#es he# +eauty, an*
su##en*e#s to he# feminine &owe#... he #eally has no +usiness a&&#oaching he# in the fi#st &laceI All of the
techniHues in this &#og#am a#e #eally Bust &ieces of the &u//le calle* Love. "hey must +e use* togethe#, they must
+e com+ine*, an* they must +e use* in all situations with all sentient +eings.
I am silent +ecause I am stunne* s&eechless +y he# +eauty, elegance, an* feminine g#ace. I5m also consi*e#ate of
he# feelings an* want to give he# a moment to &#ocess my a&&#oach an* go th#ough whateve# she nee*s to go
th#ough in te#ms of emotions, selectivity, an* @&e#ha&sA love.
I am in a state of ,ivine Stu&i*ity +ecause in the moment I a&&#oach he#, I can +a#ely even #emem+e# my own
name.
I ca#efully, *eli+e#ately, an* consciously hol* the .itness state @+#eathing M conte>t9&e#i&he#y M soft ga/eA +ecause
I want to offe# he# my masculine gifts of &#otection, se#vice, an* love.
4:O"8%"ION
.hile wal7ing with a woman *own the st#eet, it is a*visa+le to wal7 on the oute# e*ge of the si*ewal7.
I wal7 on the oute# si*e of the si*ewal7 +ecause I5m li7e a sol*ie# who &#otects he# f#om *ange#, in this case, f#om
oncoming ca#s. I hel& he# to ta7e he# coat off an* get seate* comfo#ta+ly to let he# 7now she is safe with me, an*
that I t#uly #es&ect an* #eve#e he# as a woman an* as a c#eatu#e of ,ivinity. I &ee sitting *own +ecause I5m not
going to s&#ay the toilet seat an* e>&ect he# to not even notice... NOI Out of #es&ect an* #eve#ence fo# he#, I am
clean fo# he#.
I *#ess nicely fo# he# +ecause I want to &lease he#. Most men *#ess in what I call ?"he .al$Ma#t Hus+an* )nifo#m.?
%hea& shoes, &ants that a#e too long, +a* colo# com+inations, you name it. @One guy #ecently wo#e *#ess shoes
with Beans an* a wo#n out #e* t$shi#t.A Most of them *#ess e>t#emely &lain an* +o#ing an* the#efo#e *o not #es&ect
+eauty.
I5ll stan* u& to the wo#l* on he# +ehalf +ecause it is my masculine *uty to lay *own my life fo# he# if an* when the
nee* a#ises.
)nless a man feels that he woul* ha&&ily lay his life *own fo# a woman, he #eally has no +usiness a&&#oaching an*
t#ying to ?se*uce? anyone. "hat loo7 in you# eye has to +e since#e an* &owe#ful. Jou woul* gla*ly ,I8 to &#otect
you# woman, woul* you notF
"his isn5t the ma#ty#s *eath whe#e you Bum& in f#ont of a +us +ecause you want to ?suc7 u&? to women an* to <o*
an* ?&#ove? something. I5m not going to +e getting on a &lane to go to I#an an* save all of those #e&#esse* women
+ecause they have thei# own 7a#ma to *eal with. But, when it comes to my own *ate, gi#lf#ien*, o# wife, that is a
*iffe#ent sto#y.
If I am out on a *ate with a woman, it is +ecause <o* has o#*aine* it to +e so, an* that5s no small thing. It is
the#efo#e my *uty to &#otect he# while she is in my com&any.
"he woman sitting on the othe# si*e of the #estau#ant with some+o*y else is not my #es&onsi+ility. "hat woman has
he# own 7a#ma to *eal with an* it is unwise to inte#fe#e with othe# &eo&le5s 7a#mic inhe#itance. Shoul* that cou&le
ove# the#e get #o++e* at gun&oint, I5m not going to t#y to +e the he#o, +ut I5m going to g#a+ my woman an* get he#
as fa# away f#om this *ange#ous situation as I have to. "he +est a man can *o is to &#otect his own, an* #ef#ain
f#om t#ying to save the wo#l*.
.hen I say, ?Let you# &#i*e *ie fo# women? I since#ely mean let you# +o*y an* you# min* *ie fo# them wheneve#
you a#e calle* u&on to *o so. It ta7es <o*$given cou#age to live this way, an* the highest cou#age is the state of
A+solute 1ulne#a+ility. .hen a&&#oaching a woman, allow you#self to su##en*e# to the moment. Allow you#self to
since#ely an* o&enly love he#. She nee*s to 7now that you# love is t#ue, since#e, vulne#a+le. She nee*s to see that
he# feminine emotionalities will not change no# affect you# love.
:818:8N%8, S488%HL8SS A.8
.hen a&&#oaching a woman, you might +e almost c#ying +ecause she is so +eautifulG you can safely +e ?silence*?
an* ove#whelme* +y he# +eauty. ,o not hi*e, *o not &lay it cool. Be mo#e ?#eal? than any man has @li7elyA eve#
+een in he# &#esence. ,on5t a&&#oach he# +ecause you nee* to wo#7 on you# game, +ut a&&#oach he# +ecause you
since#ely fin* he# stunning. Jou must o&enly +athe in he# feminine &owe#, su##en*e#ing to *ivine love.
.hen this state is *evelo&e*, what to say an* *o then follows automatically. Love always 7nows what to say an*
*o to ?ma7e things ha&&en.? It is infinitely wise #ega#*ing such matte#s.
Love can +e t#uste* an* counte* u&on A+solutely.
It is the#efo#e neve# necessa#y to 7now what you a#e going to say in a*vance +efo#e a&&#oaching he#. "he +est
thing to *o is wal7 ove# the#e an* stum+le a#oun*, loo7ing innocent an* 7in* of *um+.
Only <o* is #eal, all else is Bust &e#ce&tual illusion. <o* is Allness, an* the#efo#e, women a#e <o*. 8ve#y atom of a
woman is <o*. Jou a#e a&&#oaching <O,I All women the#efo#e have int#insic +eauty. It is O= to o&enly #eve#e a
woman. "he +est com&liments a#e non$ve#+al. It is one thing to wal7 ove# to he# an* tell he# that she is +eautiful,
+ut it is Huite anothe# to wal7 ove# the#e an* e>&e#ience you# min* going +lan7 @an* not +eing ashame* a+out itA in
such a way that is o+vious fo# he# to see.
Men usually show anywhe#e +etween -D to -0D of thei# feelings of att#action an* love. "he suggestion is to show
he# 110D of you# feelings of att#action an* love.
Once you5ve a&&#oache* he# in this o+viously Stu&i* state, the ne>t thing to *o @once you5ve sai* hello an* allowe*
he# to #es&on* to youA is to say something ,um+ on &u#&ose. I can #emem+e# a wait#ess who was ma7ing my
toast. She &lace* the toast on my &late an* I Bust watche* he# *oing so, ve#y o+viously ?in love? with he#. I sai*
nothing an* Bust allowe* love to *o the wo#7 fo# me. Love is a &owe#ful ene#gy fiel*. 8ventually she as7e* me if I
wante* some mo#e coffee. My #es&onse was slow, *um+, aw7wa#*, an* innocentK ?Jes.?
"his is when she notice* my state, an* then I sai*, ?Ma5am, those a#e two of the +est toasts I have eve# ha*. "han7
Jou.?
So the i*ea he#e is to say something ,um+, something that *emonst#ates that +ecause of he# +eauty, you have
lost you# ca&acity fo# logic, #eason, an* even the most +asic use of you# intellect. He# female &owe# has #e*uce*
you to an innocent +oy again. :emem+e# how gi#ls use* to ma7e you feel when you we#e twelve$yea#s$ol*F "hat is
the state to +e in.
.hen I a&&#oach a woman, I5m in the state of Now to the ve#y +est of my &#esent$*ay a+ility. I am as 4#esent as I
can +e +ecause f#an7ly, I *on5t want to miss anything. I5m not in my own min* having a conve#sation +ecause I
want to have one with he# instea*. I *on5t t#y to fin* cool o# cleve# things to say +ecause the#e she is, in he# state of
a+solute &e#fection... She will ?tell? me what to say as the inte#action goes on anyway. "he tal7ingness will ha&&en
s&ontaneously of its own.
I neve# get #eBecte* +ecause this state is un#eBecti+le. She woul* #eally have to +e as evil as Hitle#, Mao, o# Stalin to
not li7e me an* actually *is#es&ect me. My o&en state of love fo# he# is the +est com&liment I can eve# give he#.
@.omen *#eam of this ve#y style of a&&#oach9&ic7u&.A
Mo#eove#, she will ?tell me? @non$ve#+allyA if she wants me to a*vance any fu#the#. Often a woman will loo7 *own,
which is a sign of @healthyA su+mission. "hey will often giggle, +lush, an* *is&lay o&en, #ela>e*, ?invitational? +o*y
language. On the othe# han*, some women will ?f#ee/e u&? with e>t#eme shyness. If the woman *oes not li7e you
fo# any #eason, she will let you 7now it +y igno#ing you# state an* t#eating you as if nothing has ha&&ene*. 4e#fect E
you can neve# get #eBecte*.
If she li7es you, the#e is no nee* to 7ee& &ushing it, o# to 7ee& u& with this state of Stu&i* Awe. Jou5ve al#ea*y tol*
he# that you love9a&&#eciate9want9#es&ect he#, an* if you ove#*o this it5ll +ecome wei#*. 2#om he#e, you can now
#etu#n to a mo#e comfo#ta+le, #ela>e*, an* confi*ent state. "he fi#st minute, the most c#itical &a#t, is *one. Jou can
now +ehave mo#e no#mally @a little +it tal7ative, funny, cha#ming, etc.A, +ut *o ma7e su#e to 7ee& u& with the soft
visual ga/e M +#eathing M &e#i&he#y9conte>t. @"hat techniHue shoul* almost +e a constant +y now.A
N8:1O)SN8SS :8SI,)ALS
By now you a#e in a conve#sation with he#. If you still feel ne#vous, that5s &e#fectly acce&ta+le +ecause you a#e still
human. He# feminine &owe# is a st#ong ene#gy fiel*, no *ou+t.
4e#ha&s the ve#y +est thing to tell a woman is how you feel while you a#e in he# &#esence. A &o&ula# community
teaching sco#ns this, &ossi+ly +ecause it *oes not un*e#stan* what love is. Stu*ents a#e tol* not to tell women how
they feel +ecause it will seem nee*y, +ut in the highe# levels of consciousness nee*iness *isa&&ea#s. It is then
&e#fectly safe to tell a woman e>actly how you feel. "hus, if you# &alms a#e sweaty, show them to he#. Let he# 7now
what he# feminine &owe# is *oing to you. ,on5t ?e>&lain? you#self to he#, Bust go, ?.ow, loo7... my han*s a#e
actually sweating in you# &#esence?, &ause, an* say, ?Jou5#e a &owe#ful woman? an* then hol* eye contact with he#
in a state of silence fo# as long as it ta7es fo# he# to have he# own #es&onse to what you have Bust sai*. See how
sim&le &ic7ing u& women #eally isF
If a woman came ove# to you, an* showe* you that he# &alms a#e sweaty, woul*n5t you +e ha&&y she *i* soF
Cesus %h#ist sai*, ?,o unto othe#s as you woul* have them *o unto you.?
"he#efo#e, &ic7 women u& innocently, since#ely, o&enly, vulne#a+ly, an* with sim&licity +ecause that is &#ecisely
how you woul* li7e to +e &ic7e* u&. As7 you#self, ?,o I #eally want women to +e coc7y$funnyF? I *ou+t that you
woul* *esi#e such a thing, so *on5t *o this stuff to them unless it is ve#y light an* *amn funny. A sma#t$ass is one
thing, a gentleman is Huite anothe#.
If the woman *oesn5t a&&#eciate you, in that ve#y moment, su##en*e# he# to <o*. She was *estine* fo# someone
else, that5s all. ,o not wo##y a+out t#ying to figu#e out what went w#ong in you# a&&#oach, *o not analy/e you#
memo#y +an7s. Su##en*e# he# to <o* an* *on5t s&en* anothe# secon* thin7ing a+out he#. :emain in the 8te#nal
Now moment +ecause that is all you haveG the Now is what you A#e. "hin7ing is suffe#ingG memo#ies a#e uselessG
analysis is &a#alysis.
4:A%"I%)M
"o*ay5s homewo#7 is sim&le. S&en* some time in *ee& me*itation with the intention to locate that which is within
you#self that woul* gla*ly *ie fo# you# *ate, gi#lf#ien*, o# wife.
,ee& insi*e you, the#e is an as&ect of you# consciousness that woul* hum+ly *ie fo# he#. Jou# t#ue Self woul*
ha&&ily lay *own you# &hysical +o*y$min* when calle* u&on to *o so. "he ?inne# sol*ie#? woul* g#acefully salute
the woman an* ta7e a +ullet fo# he# without com&laint an* with tea#s of g#atitu*e an* Boy.
Stan* "all.
4lace you# han* on you# fo#ehea*, an* visuali/e the sol*ie#5s hono#a+le salutation. 4lace you#self in the state of
a+solute #eve#ence, hono#, wo#shi&. 2in* that #oc7$li7e hono#a+le feeling insi*e that gives you the cou#age to *ie
fo# you# woman, an* shoul* the Lo#* call u&on you to *o so some*ay, you will +e &#e&a#e*, #ea*y, an* a+le to
easily access this feeling of s&i#itual wa##io# &owe#.
Hol* you# han* u& against you# fo#ehea*, an* ta7e a moment to #ecall some of the women that have g#ace* you#
life. Salute them, an* silently communicate to them that you woul* have gla*ly *ie* fo# them. 8ven the gi#l who
cheate* on you with you# +est f#ien*. )& until the ve#y moment she ma*e he# choice to +e with someone else, she
was you# s&i#itual #es&onsi+ility o#*aine* u&on you +y <o*. "he#efo#e, u& until that moment when she ma*e he#
*ecision, salute he#, an* hol* onto this feeling that you woul* have *ie* fo# he#.
Stan* tall an* hol* that han* u& the#e, ca#efully #eviewing each woman that has g#ace* you# life. Jou we#e +oth
human an* ma*e some human mista7es, yes, +ut those a#e not im&o#tant now. All that matte#s, in this moment, is
the feeling that while they we#e un*e# you# s&i#itual #es&onsi+ility, if you we#e &lace* +ac7wa#*s in time, you woul*
now lay *own you# life fo# them all.
@An alte#nate techniHue is to &lace you# han* ove# you# hea#t, #athe# than #aising it u& to you# fo#ehea*. I li7e the
fo#ehea* one +est +ecause it is so *amn funny. Note that this can also +e use* wheneve# women a#e ang#yG it
ten*s to *iffuse them an* get them laughing.A
"H8 S4I:I")AL SOL,I8:
%ultivate this hono#a+le ?sol*ie# feeling? *ee&ly within you#self. )&on a&&#oaching a woman, this feeling of silent
valo# nee*s to +e su+communicate* to he# without hesitation. 4e#ha&s it coul* +e state* as, ?Shoul* you *eci*e to
g#ace me +y going out on a *ate with me, while we5#e togethe#, shoul* anything go *own, I will hum+ly lay *own my
life to &#otect an* se#ve you.? @NoteK "his is an attitu*e an* not something that nee*s to +e ve#+ali/e*.A
Neve# as7 a woman out on a *ate unless this attitu*e, this feeling, this :eve#ence is &#esent.
.hen *one with since#ity, this &#actice will give you that intense$yet$gentle loo7 in you# eye of unmista7a+le &owe#.
.hile the ave#age man a&&#oaches women with nee*iness, shyness, an* lust... he#e you a#e, a t#ue sol*ie#. It is
not &ossi+le to #eBect a s&i#itual wa##io# +ecause love is +eyon* #eBection, Bu*gmentalism, o# &e#sonal o&inions.
Once you locate the feeling an* cultivate it within you#self fo# a while, you won5t have to ?*is&lay? it. It will often
&enet#ate th#ough a woman5s fea#s an* *efenses li7e a lase# +eam. "hus, it is +est to s&en* time cultivating this
inne# ?sol*ie# feeling? while in *ee& me*itation, so that you *on5t have to thin7 a+out it late# on *u#ing the actual
a&&#oaches. Jou5ll +e a+le to count on it, fo#eve#mo#eG it will shine th#ough automatically of its own +ecause it is
you# t#ue SelfG it cuts th#ough the ego$self5s issues li7e a scal&el.
2(. "he St#uctu#e of Humo#
Once the ?.omani/e? +asics a#e #easona+ly han*le* @e.g., ga/ing9witnessing, healthy emotional ?flow?, valo#,
chival#y, ,ivine Stu&i*ity, s&ea7ing an* moving ve#y slowly, et al.A, humo# will +egin to a#ise s&ontaneously an*
automatically of its own *ue to a significant lessening of social &a#anoia an* *efensiveness @i.e., fea# of #eBection
an* &#i*eA. <#eat Bo7es will seemingly ?come out of nowhe#e? @#ea*K out of the NowHe#eA. In lea#ning to #ely less
u&on the min* an* mo#e on the fiel* of consciousness @Silent Min*A, humo# is the natu#al #esult +ecause it is +oth
an e>&#ession of an* a &athway to )ncon*itional Love.
?8N8:<J 1AM4? ,8"8%"ION
It is well to avoi* those who *o not &ossess a sense of humo#. "he humo#less a#e *eci*e*ly non$integ#ous @i.e.,
fun*amentally *ishonestA an* can even +e *ange#ous @e.g., classmate 7ille#s cha#acte#istically have no sense of
humo# whatsoeve#A.
As one5s sense of humo# +ecomes well *evelo&e*, it can +e #athe# shoc7ing to *iscove# Bust how many &eo&le in
ou# society a#e actually inca&a+le of even a little laughte#. Anothe# thing to watch fo# is ?fa7e? laughte#. It is mo#e
common in ou# society than &eo&le #eali/e o# a#e willing to ac7nowle*ge. .hen *ealing with ?fa7e? laughte#, you5#e
li7ely in the &#esence of someone who cannot +e t#uste*. Someone with a hi**en agen*a @e.g., a&&#oval$see7ing
fo# whateve# #easonA will often laugh at Bo7es +ut the timing o# the intensity is ?off.?
"he ave#age &e#son +elieves that ?eve#yone else is the same as me? an* naively assumes that othe#s have the
same motives, intentions, goals, wishes, wants, attitu*es, etc., +ut in #eality, the *iffe#ences in the levels of human
consciousness a#e so vast that it is not &ossi+le fo# the o#*ina#y min* to even g#as& Bust how *iffe#ent &eo&le a#e
f#om each othe#. "#uthfully, &eo&le actually live in totally *iffe#ent wo#l*s. 1e#y often, they see an* e>&e#ience the
wo#l* so *iffe#ently f#om each othe# that it is not even &ossi+le fo# them to have even the most sim&le of
conve#sations. "he num+e# one #eason why &eo&le have *ifficulty ?getting along? with each othe# is +ecause
factually, they cannot. Most often, it is +ecause one &e#son is honest an* the othe# is not. 2o# instance, in Ame#ica,
a&&#o>imately half the &o&ulation is fun*amentally honest while the othe# half a#e lite#ally not ca&a+le of even the
most +asic t#uthfulness. "he #esult is maBo# social *isco#*.
A well$*evelo&e* sense of humo# is Huite &ossi+ly the ve#y +est way to *evelo& a*vance* s&i#itual *isce#nment
@i.e., the a+ility to *iffe#entiate how someone a&&ea#s to +e on the outsi*e ve#sus what they actually a#e li7e on the
insi*eA an* thus how to tell if you5#e *ealing with a &e#son of integ#ity o# non$integ#ity. @A talent fo# humo# acts ve#y
much li7e social litmus &a&e#, so to s&ea7.A
?8<O CO=8S?
"he ego loves to use ?*isgusting? ty&es of humo#. "o use a ?ha#*co#e? e>am&le, I once witnesse* a high school
f#ien* who g#a++e* his gi#lf#ien*, &inne* he# *own fo#cefully, an* fa#te* on he# face. He then hel* he# *own fo# one
full minute, fo#ci+ly ma7ing a+solutely su#e that she ha* to smell his fa#t. "o the ego, this 7in* of humo# is hila#ious.
@I have the#efo#e te#me* this 7in* of humo# ?ego humo#.?A It is selfish, *enig#ating, #acist, *isgusting, etc., an* lac7s
class, intelligence, *ecency, an* cou#tesy.
"he ego loves Bo7es such as <eo#ge %a#lin5s, ?.hen a fa#me# fuc7s a shee&, why *oes he *o so on the e*ge of a
cliffF? @Answe#K ?So the shee& will &ush +ac7I?A "his is o+viously a ve#y funny ?ego Bo7e? an* the#e is nothing
5w#ong5 o# 5+a*5 a+out using such Bo7es. "he &#o+lem is that fo# many men, these a#e the only 7in* of Bo7es in thei#
a#senal. "he t#ue .omani/e# must +e a+le to access a wi*e# #ange.
H)MO: AS A .8A4ON
A s&i#itually a*vance* sense of humo# is ve#y *iffe#ent f#om sa#casm, coc7y$funny, teasing, o# #i*iculing othe#s
+ecause it heals #athe# than hu#ts.
"he non$integ#ous &e#son will ty&ically use many va#ieties of &assive$agg#essive humo# styles an* su+tly hateful
Bo7es in o#*e# to cove# u& *ee&e# issues of Bealousy, envy, an* the #esulting ?Bustifie* hat#e*? of othe#s, e.g., Bill
Maye# who ove#tly hates <o*, #eligion, s&i#ituality, an* also hates Ame#ica, the ve#y count#y that loves him an*
ma*e him a millionai#e. Humo# is often use* in &assive$agg#essive ways in o#*e# to inflict &ain onto othe#s +ut
without ta7ing #es&onsi+ility fo# one5s actions @?I was only 7i**ing?A, with the wolf ve#y t#ans&a#ently hi*ing +ehin*
the shee&5s clothing of &seu*oinnocent Bo7es.
It is the intention +ehin* one5s use humo# @an* tools such as ?coc7y funny?A that matte#s most. %hil*#en who tease
each othe# in the schoolya#* @+y calling each othe# namesA may +e *oing so out of *isguise* malice an* Bealousy,
o# integ#ity an* innocence. .hen ?teasing? Bo7es a#e use* innocently, feelings of *efensiveness @i.e., &#i*eA a#e
consi*e#a+ly lessene* an* chil*#en lea#n to +e hum+le instea* of &#ou*, &a#anoi*, an* *efensive.
Simila#ly, the ?&ic7u& a#tist? may use coc7y$funny humo# to su+tly sco#n an* cont#ol, o# to +e &layful an* fun. If fea#
of #eBection an* humiliation a#e *ominant, such a &#i*eful man then &#e*icta+ly uses coc7y$funny out of social
&a#anoia an* *efensiveness in that he wants to laugh at the e>&ense of othe#s. "he &a#anoi* an* *efensive see all
social inte#actions in te#ms of win9lose, an* not win9win. On the othe# han*, the t#uly hum+le can use coc7y$funny
as a way of laughing with anothe# &e#son. %oc7y$funny then +ecomes a way to laugh at the ove#all human
con*ition #athe# than ?at? any one &e#son in &a#ticula#, i.e., the +est Bo7es a#e im&e#sonal.
If fea# of #eBection, shyness, an* a&&#oach an>iety a#e still &#esent to a consi*e#a+le *eg#ee, the suggestion is to
?hol* off fo# a while +efo#e using coc7y$funny?, othe#wise the intention, timing, *elive#y, an* content of one5s teasing
Bo7es will li7ely +e too ha#sh, *efensive, &a#anoi*, an* &ossi+ly even Huite offensive an* hu#tful. %oc7y$funny can
+e a two$e*ge* swo#*, fo# when we &ut othe#s *own we simultaneously +#ing ou#selves *own. @Although the theo#y
+ehin* coc7y$funny is soun*, it has ina*ve#tently c#eate* a wo#l*wi*e e&i*emic of ?4)A monste#s? who ten* to hu#t
women5s feelings mo#e than they #eali/e, as has +een witnesse* on many occasions.A
4eo&le a#e *ee&ly sensitive c#eatu#es. .e humans often hu#t each othe#s feelings without eve# #eali/ing we5ve
*one so. It is +ette# to acce&t the human con*ition than to t#y an* change it. "he ave#age &e#son is much mo#e
insecu#e than we ty&ically #eali/e o# a#e willing to ac7nowle*ge. 4#i*e is common in ou# society, an* when it has
+een challenge* o# f#ust#ate* it can often lea* to #age, vin*ictive hat#e*, an* #evenge. Although the ave#age
mo*e#n &e#son *oes not often #etaliate ove#tly, they can an* ve#y often *o have thei# #evenge in &assive$
agg#essive an* in unseen ways @e.g., ?+ac7sta++ing?, slan*e#, &seu*o$fo#getfulness, an* much mo#eA. "he#efo#e,
the wis*om of caution a&&lies.
4e#ha&s a highe# fo#m of coc7y$funny woul* +e to use it in #eve#se +y &utting one5s own self *own instea* of
othe#s. Light, self$*enig#ating humo# can +e Huite funny, cha#ming, an* conveys humility @which is the most
att#active Huality a man can haveA. 8ven a sim&le, well$&lace*, ?<o* I5m so stu&i*? afte# ma7ing an o+vious social
+lun*e# o# mista7e Huic7ly ?fi>es? any hu#t feelings in that it g#eatly #e*uces social tension an* *efensiveness,
ea#ns t#ust, an* ma7es &eo&le feel comfo#ta+le an* love*.
?NO" "HA" 2)NNJ?
In a *es&e#ate attem&t to seem valua+le an* wo#thy of a woman5s affection, many men use humo# which is ?half$
asse*? an* not #eally that funny at all. @,u#ing a conve#sation with a woman, you can see men st#iving an* t#ying to
fo#ce thei# Bo7es onto the woman.A Most of these Bo7es eithe# fall flat, o# wo#se, #esult in the woman consciously
willing he#self ?laugh out lou*? in o#*e# to a&&ease the man5s insecu#e ego. @In the maBo#ity of male$female
conve#sations, women e>&en* mo#e ene#gy a&&easing the male ego than any othe# facto#, often in ways which
even they themselves *o not consciously notice.A
Humo# is su&&ose* to give a woman ene#gy @an* not ta7e he# ene#gyA. In &lacing he# in the uncomfo#ta+le &osition
of feeling li7e she has to a#tificially ma7e he#self laugh all the time, he# vital life ene#gy su&&ly is g#eatly ta>e*. 8ven
though she may actually #eally li7e the guy ove#all, she avoi*s him late# on +ecause ?Bust thin7ing a+out him ma7es
me feel e>hauste*.?
Simila#ly, men ve#y often ma7e the well$7nown mista7e of laughing at thei# own Bo7es +efo#e the woman @o# social
g#ou&A has even ha* the chance to &#ocess the Bo7e. "his &atte#n is &#etty common, an* many men have actually
fo#me* an auto$ha+it of fo#cing themselves to laugh at thei# own Bo7e the ve#y moment the last wo#* comes out of
thei# mouth. Su+consciously, these men a#e e>&ecting #eBection in that they a#e socially &a#anoi*. "hey a#e t#ying to
a#tificially c#eate the sense of ?we a#e t#ue f#ien*s?, +ut sim&ly en* u& a&&ea#ing insecu#e an* ?c#ee&y.?
I often a*vise stu*ents, ?,on5t tell a Bo7e unless you 7now it will +e funny an* well$#eceive*, an* give &eo&le the
chance to &#ocess the info#mation.? It can sometimes ta7e u& to five secon*s fo# an au*ience to ?get? the Bo7e an*
sta#t laughing. ,ating coaches often a*vise this as well, +ut most of them ma7e the mista7e of c#eating a #igi* #ule
a+out it, i.e., ?Neve# laugh at you# own Bo7es.? "he &#o+lem with this, of cou#se, is that not laughing at one5s own
Bo7es c#eates a feeling of se&a#ation +etween the s&ea7e# an* the listene#@sA, i.e., he +ecomes eithe# ?the *ancing
mon7ey? o# the na#cissist who lac7s genuine wa#mth an* affection. A&&#o&#iate laughte# is #ecommen*e*. How
*oes one 7now when thei# laughte# is a&&#o&#iateF .hen it a#ises s&ontaneously, automatically, an* innocently,
an* has no hi**en agen*a to cont#ol the au*ience.
As a #ule of thum+, ?.hen a Bo7e is t#uly funny, laugh.?
Mo#eove#, have g#atitu*e an* hum+le #es&ect fo# the Bo7e, as humo# a#ises out of the fiel* of consciousness @<o*A
an* not f#om the &e#sonal ego9min*, which is actually humo#less. )nai*e*, all ego5s a#e 100D humo#less. It is the
S&i#it of man that loves to &layfully ?7i* a#oun*? an* ?c#ac7 Bo7es.? Humo# is a ,ivine <ift f#om the invisi+le highe#
Self.
BO,J LAN<)A<8
On the &hysical level, ?goo*? +o*y language is the natu#al #esult of the #emoval of all ?+a*? @insecu#eA +o*y
language an* not the #esult of any s&ecial t#ic7s o# a**itions. On an emotional level, ?goo*? +o*y language #esults
f#om the #emoval of negativity @es&ecially social &a#anoia an* *efensivenessA. As the chil*ish *esi#e fo# attention
an* a&&#oval is &#og#essively heale* an* #e&lace* +y the willingness to +e of selfless se#vice to othe#s, the
intention to s&#ea* &eacefulness an* Boy #esults in &e#fect +o*y language which is f#ee f#om &ostu#ing an*
emotionality.
4e#ha&s the +est a*vice that can +e offe#e* is the a*vice to slow *own. As the #ate an* s&ee* of one5s
5tal7ingness5, gestu#es, an* movements *ec#eases, emotion also ten*s to *ec#ease. An insecu#e man is easy to
s&ot +ecause he will +e the one who ma7es the most e>agge#ate* gestu#es with his han*s as he communicates his
Bo7es an* sto#ies. %ont#astingly, the secu#e an* hum+le s&ea7e# moves his han*s only as much as is a+solutely
necessa#y to convey his &oint @an* no mo#e than thatA. "he wise conse#ve thei# ene#gy so that they can then sha#e
it with othe#s, #athe# than e>&en*ing it an* wasting it on attention$g#a++ing. It is +ette# to give one5s full attention to
othe#s than to go a#oun* the #oom t#ying to ?+e cool.?
"hose who move too su**enly, ma7e la#ge flailing han* gestu#es, s&ea7 too Huic7ly, etc., a#e #ule* +y &a#anoia
an* not love. :eali/e that ve#y little #eactivity o# emotion is necessa#y to 7ee& someone5s attention. In fact, those
who move slowly, *eli+e#ately, an* have lea#ne* to conse#ve thei# ene#gy ten* to have a hy&notic effect on othe#s.
4a#a*o>ically, they get mo#e attention f#om othe#s an* not less.
St#ess is all too common in ou# society. 4eo&le5s min*5s a#e usually ove#whelme* +y all of the info#mation coming
th#ough thei# senses at any given moment @even if they a&&ea# to +e calm on the outsi*eA. "hus, it is +est to Bust tell
the sim&le sto#y o# Bo7e an* #ef#ain f#om any 5ove#*oingness5 with one5s +o*y language, gestu#es, tone of voice, etc.
"he &u#&ose of sociali/ing is to sha#e the Boy of one5s e>istence with othe#s an* not to ?&um& thei# emotions.? Bo*y
language 5ove#*oingness5 has the unfo#tunate *isa*vantage of ove#whelming the au*ience5s senso#y in&ut
channels, the#e+y c#eating un*ue st#ess. @"he#efo#e, t#y to lessen &eo&le5s al#ea*y e>isting an>ieties +y +eing the
least emotionally #eactive &e#son in the #oom.A
Online, the#e is much well$inten*e* a*vice to ?ta7e u& a lot of s&ace?, stan* with you# legs wi*e a&a#t, s&ea7 lou*,
*ominate the #oom, etc., +ut most of this a*vice stems f#om &#i*e an* not love. It also ten*s to att#act wea7 &eo&le
@an* #e&els &eo&le of cha#acte# an* integ#ityA.
"he#e is no lac7 of humans who want to +e cont#olle* in ou# society. Social ?amogging? @i.e., con*escen*ing
*ominanceA mo#e often #esults in shame an* hat#e* than in t#ue #es&ect, cama#a*e#ie, o# love. %alling &eo&le
?*u*e? an* saying things li7e, ?Jo man, you shoul* *o YJ;$thing? an* +eing con*escen*ing o# cont#olling is a two$
e*ge* swo#*. 4utting othe#s *own simultaneously +#ings the s&ea7e# *own as well. It is unwise to socially
*ominate othe#s as it gene#ates negative 7a#ma @most of it is unseenA. Social com&etition +elongs in the animal
7ing*om an* not in a .omani/e#5s tool+o>.
.hile shame ten*s to ?sh#in7 *own? an* &#i*e loves to ?&uff out?, Love wants nothing f#om othe#s an* the#efo#e
has no nee* to &ostu#e o# &#een. Love is not t#ying to sell anyone anything o# &e#sua*e &eo&leG its only intention is
to sha#e in the Boy of e>istence itself. "he *evelo&ment of a Silent .itness state @conte>t9&e#i&he#y, soft ga/e, calm
*ee& +#eaths, genuine wa#mth, etc.A #esults in the &#og#essive &e#fection of the +o*y language, which is *iscove#e*
to +e a natu#al conseHuence of humility an* love #athe# than a ?&uff u&? o# a**ition of any s7ill. .hile &#i*e is
conce#ne* with com&etitiveness, gain, an* social status, love is &#ima#ily conce#ne* with comfo#t, genuine
em&athic wa#mth, an* t#anHuility.
Instea* of wo##ying, ?How5s my +o*y languageF?, it is +ette# focus on slowing *own @an* tu#ning one5s attention
towa#* the comfo#t an* Boy of othe#sA. It isn5t necessa#y to e>&en* even one iota of ene#gy on the &u#suit of ?+eing
cool.? 2o# the #ea*e# who is still self$conscious, the suggestion is to let go of the Huestion, ?How *o I loo7F? an* as7
instea*, ?How may I se#veF? @4e#fect +o*y language will then #esult in *ue time.A .hile at a &a#ty, fo# e>am&le,
instea* of ?+eing cool?, g#eate# social success an* *ee& inne# Boy can +e foun* in sim&ly scanning a#oun* the #oom
an* loo7ing fo# ways to se#ve othe#s @e.g., get them a *#in7, see if they nee* anything, ma7e su#e they feel
comfo#ta+le an* ta7en ca#e of, int#o*uce &eo&le to each othe#, et al.A. An evening s&ent in se#vice to othe#s is what
lea*s to t#ue ha&&iness @as o&&ose* to scanning the #oom fo# ?hot gi#ls? an* #unning a#oun* t#ying to ?sco#e
&ussy?A.
"hus, confi*ent, secu#e, an* authentic +o*y language is the #esult of since#ely ca#ing a+out the ha&&iness of othe#s
an* ma7ing a conscious, *eli+e#ate, an* &#oactive effo#t to se#ve them in some small way.
"H8 S":)%"):8 O2 H)MO:
Some a#e +lesse* with a natu#al talent fo# humo#, while some a#e less talente* @an* some have no 5access5 to any
humo# whatsoeve#A. In any case, an e*ucation a+out the actual st#uctu#e of humo# is +eneficial to all. %onsciously
inc#easing one5s awa#eness of the st#uctu#e itself automatically #esults in a mo#e highly$*evelo&e* talent fo# humo#
+y vi#tue of ene#gi/ing it with attention an* es&ecially intention.
It is &leasing to *iscove# that the st#uctu#e of humo#, li7e most of the fine things in life, is actually ve#y sim&le an*
easy to lea#n. "he ve#y +est Bo7es *o not #eHui#e an a*vance* intellect o# a high IO. Humo# is +o#n out of c#eative
5illogic5 an* not logic. It is the #esult of com&a#ing two conte>ts with each othe#. Analogously, it is li7e &lacing two
&hotog#a&hs si*e$+y$si*e an* commenting on how +oth a#e simila# in some way.
Befo#e we continue, an e>&lanation of the *iffe#ence +etween content an* conte>t may +e a +eneficial thing to
cla#ify. %ontent has to *o with something s&ecific @such as a sta#A. %onte>t is the situation that envelo&s o#
su##oun*s the s&ecific content @in this case, 5oute# s&ace5A. "he sta# @contentA is within the conte>t calle* 5s&ace5.
Anothe# e>am&le woul* +e that of the ego ve#sus <o*, whe#e ego is the content an* <o* is the ultimate conte>t,
i.e., Allness. Let us use a thi#* e>am&leK A sol*ie# @contentA fights in a wa# @conte>tA.
.ith humo#, two @often ve#y *iffe#entA conte>ts a#e cont#aste* o# com&a#e* in some way. "he #esult is usually an
e>agge#ation an* a change in meaning, #esulting in a humo#ous ?#e$conte>tuali/ation.? "o cite an e>am&le, I
#ecently *eci*e* to give a <#avol @*imenhy*#inateA &ill to my 7itty +ecause we we#e t#aveling an* 7itty was ve#y
st#esse* an* ha* +ecome Huite unmanagea+le. Ou# vet suggeste* giving 7itty some <#avol, so we *eci*e* to give
7itty one half of a &ill in o#*e# to se*ate he#. Soon afte# ou# 7itty swallowe* the &ill an* +ecame *#owsy an* fell
aslee&, I *eli+e#ately *evelo&e* a conce#ne* loo7 on my face an* commente*, ?I feel guilty, li7e I Bust gave he# a
5#oofy5 o# something.? @My wife e>&lo*e* with u&#oa#ious laughte#.A
In the a+ove e>am&le, I sim&ly cont#aste* togethe# two simila# @an* yet ve#y *iffe#entA conte>ts which ha* a content
@&illA in common, i.e., the motive9intention of an evil *ate #a&e *#ug vs. the motive9intention of a ha#mless, innocent
<#avol &ill. "he college cam&us #a&ist has a ve#y *iffe#ent motive than the innocent &e#son who loves thei# &et
enough to #elieve its st#ess with a ha#mless *imenhy*#inate &ill. In Bu>ta&osing these two conte>ts, the meaning of
the content @&illA was alte#e* an* humo# was the &#e*icta+le #esult.
4e#ha&s I can sha#e anothe# e>am&leK I use* to Bo7e a#oun* that my wife5s feminine wis*om can +e &#etty
ove#whelming, es&ecially ?fo# a sim&le man such as myself?, in that she is inc#e*i+ly intuitive an* ve#y t#uthful, so
much so that she sometimes can say things that challenge o# even ?hu#t? my #emaining male &#i*e. She is a
woman who e>&ects nothing less than mutual &e#fection in ou# #elationshi&, an* I often Bo7e a#oun* a+out this,
such as commenting that my male ego shoul* go to the ?+atte#e* ego shelte#.? @Note the #i*iculous com&a#ison,
i.e., that of a male ego +eing conf#onte* +y high t#uths an* feeling woun*e*, ve#sus the conte>t of a +atte#e*
woman5s shelte#.A
Along these lines, sometimes when she ente#s a #oom I will mimic the same soun* that is hea#* in the film "he
"e#minato#. %lic7 he#e to listen to this soun*K htt&K99www.youtu+e.com9watchFvZ43nH$#3O..0 @Listen fo# the ve#y
fi#st soun*, it is li7e a +ac7g#oun* hum which signals that *ange# is nea#.A I woul* often 5hum5 this soun* wheneve#
she ente#e* a #oom. @In this case, I5m com&a#ing my wife with "he "e#minato#, i.e., she5s li7e ?"he "e#minato#? of
my male ego &#i*e.A
:8IN2O:%IN< "H8 S":)%"):8 O2 H)MO:
Let5s ta7e a loo7 at a few mo#e Bo7es so that the st#uctu#e of humo# ?stan*s out? an* +ecomes mo#e o+vious an*
easy to see. As the awa#eness of 5humo#$st#uctu#e5 inc#eases, the a+ility to gene#ate humo# will also ten* to
inc#ease +y vi#tue of sim&ly +eing mo#e conscious of the co#e &#ocess +y which Bo7es a#e c#eate*. Since the
st#uctu#e itself is content$f#ee, it can then +e #elie* u&on fo# c#eating an unlimite* amount of Bo7es in any situation.
?Leaving se> to the feminists is li7e letting you# *og vacation at the ta>i*e#mist.? E %amille 4aglia
@Again, two *issimila# conte>ts a#e &lace* ne>t to each othe# fo# com&a#ison. In this case, feminism an* ta>i*e#my
a#e the two conte>ts, an* se> is the content.A
Let5s continue with a few mo#e Bo7es. As you #ea* them, the suggestion is to loo7 at how two *eci*e*ly *issimila#
conte>ts a#e +eing com&a#e*, an* via c#eative illogic an* e>agge#ation, they a#e then shown as +eing #elatively
simila#. Cust a+out any conte>t can +e ma*e to seem simila# to any othe# conte>t. Jou Bust nee* a little c#eative
@an* even #i*iculousA e>agge#ation to tie the two conte>ts togethe# in some way.
?%om&ute# &#og#amming is li7e se>. One mista7e an* you have to su&&o#t it fo# the #est of you# life.? E Michael Sin/
?Se> at age 60 is li7e t#ying to shoot &ool with a #o&e.? E <eo#ge Bu#ns
?I +elieve that se> is one of the most +eautiful, natu#al, wholesome things that money can +uy.? E Steve Ma#tin
As the Light of %onsciousness shines u&on the +asic st#uctu#e +ehin* all humo#, the a+ility to gene#ate
s&ontaneous Bo7es that a#e +oth funny an* healing @in that they ten* to #esult in g#eate# humility, fo#giveness, an*
com&assionA can Huic7ly +e *evelo&e*. A useful Huestion to as7 one5s self is, ?.hat is this situation li7eF .hat
conte>t @o# contentA can this +e com&a#e* toF?
IN"8N"IONALI"J
"o hel& inc#ease the a+ility to gene#ate humo#, it is mo#e +eneficial to align with a selfless s&i#itual intention #athe#
than a selfish egoic intention. It is one thing to want to +e funny +ecause that woul* #esult in gaining a&&#oval, +ut it
is Huite anothe# to use humo# to s&#ea* Boy an* healing. "he *esi#e fo# a&&#oval o# attention #esults in one5s
au*ience feeling *#aine* an* ti#e*, whe#eas using humo# as a gift an* a means to s&#ea* Boy #esults in the
au*ience feeling heale* an* ene#gi/e*. By choosing to align with a highe# &u#&ose, one then also has g#eate#
?access? to the infinite fiel* of consciousness @via 7un*alini ene#gyA f#om which the#e a#e an unlimite* num+e# of
Bo7es, as well as +ette# Huality ones.
"he &u#&ose of humo# is to give Coy. By aligning with this intention, one simultaneously aligns with much g#eate#
&owe# an* c#eativity.
"he ultimate *oo#way to a woman5s hea#t is th#ough humo#, t#uly.
2-. A&&#eciation An* Love 2o# Allness
"his a#ticle was o#iginally w#itten on Se&t. 11th, 2006.
Se&tem+e# 8leventh is a *ay I have come to A&&#eciate L Love ve#y *ee&ly. I will neve# fo#get that mo#ning when
those &lanes hit the "win "owe#sG it was a *a#7 *ay of fea# an* *#ea* fo# eve#yone, in*ee*. Soon afte#, my f#ien*
an* I got into ou# ca# an* *#ove all way to New Jo#7. "he ene#gy fiel* in that a#ea of the city was com&letely
ove#whelming. "#uth is, I coul*n5t stan* it. I was ove#ta7en +y fea# an* *#ea* an* I sai* to my f#ien*, ?Let5s get outta
he#e. I nee* a *#in7I I5m se#iously c#ee&e* out. Let5s Bust go.?
I5ve Bust ha* my ve#y own ?inne#? Se&tem+e# 8leventh. "hat is, as I move fo#wa#* an* attem&t to #emain in a non$
sto&, neve#$en*ing an* continuous me*itative state ?no matte# what?, this lifestyle has ve#y *ee& an* Blissful
#ewa#*s +ut it also ten*s to +#ing u& the *a#7, hi**en, 5ungo*ly5 as&ects of the ego. S&i#itual 4u#ification is a sim&le
thing to *o, +ut it is fa# f#om easy. Cust when you thin7 to you#self, ?8nlightenment is Bust a#oun* the co#ne#, it5ll
ha&&en any *ay now...? .HAMI ..."he little animal ego fla#es u& an* +#ings you st#aight to Hell. "his can ma7e the
s&i#itual &ath a#*uous an* *eman*ing, at times. "he#e has to +e a willingness to en*u#e the occasional t#ansito#y
anguish.
"hat the#e is t#uly a Hell, that it e>ists fo# :eal is unHuestiona+ly a *efinite ?Jes.? As this w#ite# sun7 eve# *ee&e#
into the ve#y &its of en*less, nameless *#ea* an* inne# agony, to even as7, ?,oes Hell e>istF? seems li7e a ve#y
silly Huestion. "he so$calle* ?,a#7 night of the soul? is *efinitely a ve#y #eal s&i#itual &henomena that I can attest to.
8ven a *ay late#, as I ty&e this out, I5m still sha7en u&. My han*s a#e sha7ing. It was that +a*.
So what5s going onF .hy is this wo#l* the way it isF ,o we #eally nee* an egoF ,o we #eally nee* guys li7e Bin
la*en to +low u& the "win "owe#sF .hy is the#e a HellF
.hen I wo7e u& Bust now, I #eali/e* that this ?,a#7 night of the soul? was me#ely showing me some of the
#emaining flaws in my 5inne# game5. "he ego taught me whe#e a#e my #esi*ual as&ects of #emaining non$Love, non$
Acce&tance, an* the unconscious #eBection of Life.
.e humans live in fea# an* *#ea* of Bin la*en +ecause we live in fea# an* *#ea* #ega#*ing ou# own ego5s. "he ol*
animal +#ain can fla#e u& when you least e>&ect it to. It is a seven$*ea*ly$sins$machine. In a sense, Bin la*en is
he#e to hel& +#ea7 ou# ,enial. He *is&lays ou# own #a&acious ego fo# all to seeG he shows us what ou# own inne#
animal is t#uly li7e. 4e#ha&s Cesus %h#ist ha&&ily allowe* Himself to +e naile* to the c#oss so that we woul* sna&
out of ,enial #ega#*ing the t#ue natu#e of the animal ego within us all.
I *on5t 7now .hy the#e is a Bin la*en an* a Hitle# an* a %hai#man Mao, I *on5t 7now .hy 5evil5 @i.e., the lac7 of
LoveA ha* to have come into 8>istence. I *on5t 7now .hy we we#e all +o#n with an amyg*ale @#a&acious animal
+#ainA. "o answe# .hy Ouestions, I su&&ose I woul* have to +e <o*. Acco#*ing to mystics who have #eache* <o*$
consciousness, .hy Huestions a#e unanswe#a+le. 8ve#ything sim&ly Is As It Is, an* no commenta#y no# Huestions
a#ise in such a won*#ous state.
All I 7now is that eve#y time something ho##i+le ha&&ens, eve#y time a +uil*ing gets +lown u& +y te##o#ists, eve#y
time my own ego su**enly &ounces on me an* ta7es me on an unwelcome t#i& to Hell, I am a+le to See mo#e Light
afte#wa#*s. 4e#ha&s the *a#7ness is nee*e* fo# us to See Light. 4e#ha&s it is ou# g#eatest teache# in that it allows
us to cont#ast Love with non$Love. @One can only s&eculate.A
.hen I wo7e u& this mo#ning, still feeling a little sha7en u& +y yeste#*ay5s ?,a#7 night? t#i& to Hell an* +ac7, I
#eali/e* that I nee*e* to than7 my ego fo# *oing e>actly what it is su&&ose* to +e *oing. "hat is, my ego is showing
me e>actly .hat I Am Not. It seems #athe# insistent that I let go of i*entifying with it so that I can t#uly A&&#eciate
an* Love it, without even the slightest of e>ce&tions.
"he#efo#e, I *ecla#e that to*ay, Se&tem+e# 8leventh, is now the official 8go A&&#eciation ,ay. Ma#7 you# calen*a#s.
Let you# f#ien*s 7now. "o*ay... is 8go A&&#eciation ,ay.
Animals *o not have the o&&o#tunity fo# <o*$consciousness, +ut the human s&i#it *oes. .e humans have the
o&&o#tunity to +ecome t#uly 8cstatic an* Blissful. "han7s to the Bin la*en5s of the wo#l*, we have the o&&o#tunity to
.itness ou# own animal ego 5in action5 an* come to see that No, "his Is Not .hat I Am.
Although Hell is *efinitely :eal an* 8>ists, it #e&#esents the house of mi##o#s #elate* to the false self o# ego$self.
Hell is sim&ly a way of loo7ing at thingsG it is a &oint of view, an o&inion9+elief st#uctu#e, a mentali/e* &ositionality.
Hell is, in a sense, the nea#$o&&osite of .itnessingG it is the *a#7 wo#l* c#eate* +y the ego5s &e#ce&tions an* not +y
<o*.
"o*ay, &e#ha&s you can ma7e a list of all of you# #emaining limitations, faults, im&e#fections. Ma7e a nice list of
eve#ything you *isli7e a+out you#self, a+out women, an* a+out this wo#l* you fin* you#self having to live in. "a7e
note of eve#y Bu*gment, eve#y fea#, eve#y hu#t feeling, eve#y #esistanceG ta7e note of each an* eve#y #emaining
guilty an* shameful thoughtG thoughts a+out you# +o*y, thoughts a+out you# 5lac75. Loo7 at eve#y ugliness, +oth
within an* without. Loo7 at eve#ything *a#7, *es&ica+le, an* *isgusting.
Mothe# "e#esa sai* she ove#came *a#7ness @i.e., she #eache* 8nlightenmentA +ecause one *ay she su**enly
foun* that she was a+le to Love it.
At fi#st glance, the fi#st time I #ea* that, I coul*n5t hel& +ut to +e in Awe of such a woman. I was ove#whelme* +y the
&#os&ect that I woul* have to lea#n to Love eve#ything *a#7 an* ugly in ou# wo#l* an* in my ego$self. "hat is, I
myself woul* have to #each the &oint whe#e I too, coul* wal7 into the st#eets of %alcutta an* come to Love even the
unlova+le. I woul* have to face my fea#s to such a *eg#ee as to em+#ace in my a#ms even the most sic7ly an*
*isease* of all.
4e#ha&s an 8nlightene* Saint such as Mothe# "e#esa was a+le to essentially live in Hell @%alcutta is not a Bo7e,
woahA, +ut not i*entify with it. "he#e is a famous Huote, ?I myself am Heaven an* Hell.? "hat is, if one follows the
ego5s &ath, it lea*s to Hell, +ut if one follows the t#ue s&i#itual &ath it lea*s to Heaven.
Although yeste#*ay5s ?,a#7 night? t#i& to Hell an* +ac7 was a ve#y hum+ling e>&e#ience in that it ma*e me #eali/e
Bust how much &otential fo# *isaste# still #emains in my animal$ego, it hel&e* me to see something that was still
lac7ing in my 5inne# game5. A&&#eciation an* <#atitu*e.
A s&i#itual see7e# often cannot hel& +ut feel ove#whelme* at the &#os&ect of ove#coming the ego. .hile the#e can
+e &e#io*s of g#eat Bliss an* enthusiasm, the see7e# often lea#ns E ove# an* ove# again E Bust how *ee& the ego
#uns. Cust how cleve# the ego can +e at hi*ing, camouflaging, lying, cheating, t#ic7ing. It can +e *ifficult to #emain
unattache*, faithful, enthusiastic.
As the ego of a woul*$+e .omani/e# fla#es u& fo# the 10,000th time while in the &#esence of a +eautiful woman, it
can +e ve#y *ifficult to #emain 7in* towa#*s the little animal. One can5t hel& +ut wish the ego woul* Bust shut u&,
g#ow u&, an* sto& fighting.
Although I can only s&eculate, &e#ha&s the inc#e*i+le Hea#t of Mothe# "e#esa was a+le to Love the *a#7ness out of
an inne# g#atitu*e that *a#7ness is what shows us that we a#e the Light.
?"han7 you, oh *a#7ness, fo# showing me what I Am Not. "han7 you, oh ugliness, fo# showing me that I Am Not
Jou.?
8nBoy 8go A&&#eciation ,ay. "han7 the animal$+#ain fo# showing you &#ecisely an* s&ecifically .hat Jou A#e Not.
"han7 the na#cissistic 4#i*e9,enial fo# showing you e>actly what you a#e not. "han7 the ange#$#age fo# showing
you what you5#e not. "han7 the g#ee*, lust, an* *esi#e fo# showing you the slave you a#e not. "han7 the sa*ness,
g#ief, an* *e&#ession fo# showing you what you a#e not. "han7 the a&athy, sloth, an* la/iness fo# showing you what
you5#e not. "han7 the envy$Bealousy$hat#e* fo# &ointing out what is not Jou. "han7 the guilt, shame, an* *es&ai#$
*a#7ness fo# teaching you that you a#e not it.
4e#ha&s the ve#y ha+it of than7ing the ego E ove# an* ove# again li7e a +#o7en #eco#* E is &#ecisely what ta7es us
out of it5s clutches an* +ac7 into Love. "his is a gentle way of #enouncing an* *enouncing the ego, in*ee*.
,own in the #ecesses of this w#ite#s min* was an unconscious fea# of Hell that #an *ee&, along with an unconscious
hat#e* of <o* fo# ?c#eating such a &lace as Hell.? 4e#ha&s it was this fea#$hate that too7 me in Hell yeste#*ay.
.hen I sto&&e* #esisting Hell, I +egan to float my way +ac7 out of it, an* +ac7 into my no#mal state. It hel&e* me to
#eali/e how the ego #eally *oes hate <o* +ecause it is in com&etition with <o* fo# sove#eignty.
?"han7 you ego, fo# showing me that I *o not hate <o*.?
Hell shows me eve#ything I am not. 8go has shown me &#ecisely an* ve#y s&ecifically .hat I Am Not.
I5m lea#ning to actually Love Hell. ,on5t get me w#ong, I5m still sha7en u& +y the e>&e#ience. It #eally was inc#e*i+ly
&ainful. "he thought a#ose, ?.hat if I neve# get out of this &lace, fo#eve#F? Although intellectually I 7new Hell is
me#ely a &e#ce&tual ego illusion, e>&e#ientially an* su+Bectively, Hell feels inc#e*i+ly #eal an* timeless.
Somehow, I #emem+e#e* the ol* ;en saying that all fea# is illusion, an* to wal7 st#aight ahea* no matte# what. As I
#ecalle* the wo#*s, ?.al7 st#aight ahea* no matte# what?, I #eali/e* I ha* +een #esisting Hell98go #athe# than
su##en*e#ing to the e>&e#ience. I then let go of all #esistance an* slowly, slowly, the fea#, *#ea*, an* agoni/ing
*es&ai#9shame +egan to sto&. "he intense *eath$li7e feelings in my hea#t cha7#a +egan to *issolve.
"o*ay, as I wal7e* a#oun* out*oo#s, I too7 the time to silently give than7s to the inne# ego an* to all of the oute#
ego5s wal7ing a#oun* outsi*e, fo# showing me what I am not. "hen, out of nowhe#e, a was& came ove#... I can5t
stan* was&s... I5m *ee&ly af#ai* of them... an* Bust as I +egan to tense u& my nec7 muscles an* sta#t sha7ing, I
#ecalle* how to*ay is 8go A&&#eciation ,ay. A little was&$ego was testing me.
I #ecalle* the t#i& to Hell, an* how it was when I #emem+e#e*, ?All fea# is illusionG wal7 st#aight ahea* no matte#
what? an* sto&&e* #esisting the Cou#ney into Hellfi#e that I +egan to float out of it an* +ac7 into Heaven.
"hus, I nee*e* to sto& #esisting the was&. I ma*e a silent &#aye#, ?Lo#*, if it is my 7a#ma to +e stung, I will acce&t
you# was&$sting <#acefully. Amen.?
An* 4OO2I ...I ente#e* a 5semi5 Bliss state, an* my lifelong fea# of was&s seems to have +een heale*. I will li7ely
+e teste* again soon, +ut I5m not *#ea*ing it, I5m actually loo7ing fo#wa#* to it. I will welcome any was&$sting 7a#ma
that I may have, an* if I *o get stung, I5ll su##en*e# to the &ain until it *issolves into Bliss.
I5ve s&ent a lifetime allowing women to sting me, +ut not was&s. I am well$&#actice* in the a#t of allowing women to
sting me, #eBect me, cheat on me, yell at me, hate me, an* mo#e. I have wal7e* though those e>&e#iences an* am
a +ette# man fo# it. "he female ego5s have showe* me what I am not.
,a#7ness, hell, female$#eBection, ego, an* was&s. ?"han7 you fo# showing me .hat I Am NotI?
Amen.
NAM8 %HAN<8
In cele+#ation of 8go A&&#eciation ,ay, I5* li7e to ma7e anothe# suggestion. If it is a&&#o&#iate, the suggestion
woul* +e to @&e#ha&sA change you# name, o# the way it is use* o# &#onounce*.
He#e5s what I meanK If you# name is :o+e#t, *on5t call you#self ?Bo+? an* *on5t let any+o*y call you ?Bo+? anymo#e.
Jou# name is :o+e#t.
My name is Ste&hane. I *on5t &a#ticula#ly li7e +eing a**#esse* as ?Ste&h? o# ?Steve.?
If you# name is "homas, let go of +eing calle* ?"om? o# ?"ommy.? Li7ewise, ,aniel shoul* +e calle* ,aniel, an* not
?,an? o# ?,anny.?
,avi* shoul* +e calle* ,avi*, an* not ?,ave? an* es&ecially not, ?Jo ,aveyI?
Conathan is not ?Con.?
Al+e#t is not ?Al.?
.hen &eo&le allow othe#s to #efe# to them using a sho#than* ve#sion of thei# name, the feeling is usually that it is
su&&ose* to ma7e &eo&le feel comfo#ta+le an* f#ien*ly with each othe#. "he &#o+lem is that it ve#y often gives
&eo&le the feeling that they can ?amog? you @i.e., +elittle youA. 2eelings of wa#mth, f#ien*shi&, cama#a*e#ie, an*
5closeness5 a#e not 5cause*5 +y using sho#than* names at all. It is #es&ect an* t#ust that c#eate t#ue f#ien*shi&s.
Along these lines, it is im&o#tant to let go of calling othe# guys ?man? @as in, ?Hey manI?A an* es&ecially ?*u*e.?
<entleman *o not use ?amogging? an* othe# *emeaning language &atte#ns.
,on5t let &eo&le call you ?*u*e?, fo# when you allow this it su+communicates to them that you a#e ?+elow? them an*
can +e mani&ulate*.
2o# many #ea*e#s, these small suggestions a#e going to feel ?huge.? Many of you# f#ien*s an* gi#lf#ien*s a#e
involve* in this style of communication, an* might #esist the change when you as7 them to sto& calling you ?*u*e?
an* using sho#than* wheneve# they #efe# to you. "he suggestion is to +e &atient with them @an* es&ecially not
*efensive o# &a#anoi*A, give them time to +#ea7 an ol* ha+it @i.e., they will fo#get f#om time to timeA, an* yet +e fi#m
an* *on5t ta7e 5no5 fo# an answe#.
8>&ect #es&ect, an* give #es&ect. A man, a .omani/e#? *oes not call &eo&le ?*u*e?, no# *oes he acce&t it when
guys *ominate him +y &atting him on the +ac7 con*escen*ingly. It isn5t necessa#y to ?*o? anything a+out this, othe#
than saying, ?4lease *on5t touch me li7e that? @o# sim&ly avoi*ing this &e#sonA. Social *omination is not acce&ta+le.
If you have a *ifficult$to$&#onounce name @such as a Ca&anese nameA, I suggest 7ee&ing you# name intact instea*
of telling &eo&le, ?Cust call me Cohn? @o# letting them ?*est#oy? you# name +y mis&#onouncing itA. Jou# name is
the#efo#e a won*e#ful ?test? fo# s&i#itual *isce#nment, in that wheneve# you tell someone you# name, you can Bust
stan* +ac7 an* .itness how they han*le it. ,o they *isto#t it in a la/y wayF O# a#e they ca#ing enough to ta7e si>
secon*s out of thei# +usy sche*ule an* lea#n how to &#onounce you# nameF Jou can tell a lot a+out a &e#son
+ase* on this alone.
It can even +e fun to go ?a little too fa#? with this. .hen you# f#ien* says to you, ?,avi*, woul* you min* g#a++ing
me a +ee# f#om the f#i*geF? you can say, ?Jes, si#, *o you want a glass with thatF?
One of the ve#y fi#st things a woman notices a+out you is how you an* you# f#ien*s t#eat all each othe#. If the#e is a
lac7 of t#ust an* #es&ect, you lose &oints @+igtimeA. But, if you guys t#eat each othe# as gentlemen who have
:eve#ence fo# each othe#, it su+communicates to he# how she shoul* t#eat you. Humans a#e ve#y much li7e
animals o# chil*#en who co&y an* mimic thei# social entou#age. It is the#efo#e im&e#ative that you# entou#age fall in
line with this sim&le teaching.
Men love to tease each othe# using sa#casm an* #i*icule. It shows that they a#e comfo#ta+le with each othe# an*
*on5t ta7e life too se#iously. Howeve#, the#e is a highe# way. "o t#eat each othe# with utmost class an* #es&ect, as
well as an attitu*e of selfless se#vice, is the highe# way. Co7es *o not always nee* to +e *i#ecte* at each othe#. "he
ve#y +est Bo7es a#e innocent.
%om&etitiveness is chil*ish an* often *#ains ou# life ene#gy su&&ly. Instea* of com&eting with each othe#, men
woul* +enefit mo#e f#om su&&o#tive alignment an* 5classy5 mutual se#vice.
"H8:8 IS NO N88, "O ?8Y4LAIN? ANJ"HIN<
"#uth *eals with sim&licity, an* those who align themselves with "#uth #a#ely feel the nee* to ?e>&lain themselves?,
thei# *ecisions, o# thei# actions to othe#s. 2o# e>am&le, if you have *eci*e* to *#o& the name ?Bo+? an* Bust go with
:o+e#t f#om now on, *o you #eally nee* to ?e>&lain? you#self to &eo&leF If you tell a guy you# name is :o+e#t, an*
he says, ?Oh, Bo+I Nice to meet youI? all you #eally nee* to #e&ly to him is a sim&le, ?I &#efe# to +e calle* :o+e#t? in
a fo#giving, gentle, an* com&assionate way.
"he#e is no nee* to +e *efensive @&#i*eA an* the#e5s no nee* to ?e>&lain? you# #easons @&a#anoiaA. If the man has
half a +#ain an* is wo#th getting to 7now, he will ?Bust un*e#stan*?, an* if he is secu#e insi*e himself he will not
challenge o# test you. If he says, ?Ouuu, touchy, touchyI? then you5#e &#o+a+ly *ealing with a com&etitive chil*, not
a man. Only *eal with men an* with women, as o&&ose* to ?chic7s? an* ?*u*es.? Men an* women a#e incline* to
un*e#stan*, a&&#eciate, an* #es&ect t#uth itself. An estimate* !-D of humanity #es&ects t#uth. "he suggestion is to
avoi* the othe# -D of humanity an* ?stay with you# own 7in*.?
HO. "O AS= O)8S"IONS
Along these lines, when as7ing fo# things, o# as7ing gene#al Huestions, it is im&e#ative to let go of the socially
&a#anoi* nee* to ?e>&lain why? wheneve# as7ing a Huestion a+out something. As a #ule of thum+, ?Cust As7.?
A secu#e man can sim&ly as7 whateve# Huestions he wants to as7, an* wait fo# the #e&ly. "he insecu#e man, +y
cont#ast, will as7, ?.hat time is itF Because I nee* to 7now +ecause I thin7 I might +e late fo# something.? =ee& a
watchful eye out fo# the wo#* ?+ecause? in you# language &atte#ns. It often signals that you a#e a+out to ?e>&lain?
you#self o# t#y to ?Bustify? you# actions in some way.
8>&lanations an* Bustifications stem f#om &a#anoia an* *efensiveness, #es&ectively, an* the intent is to cont#ol
othe#s in some way. @It is usually to t#y to a&&ease &eo&le5s ego5s.A It may +e hel&ful to *evelo& the ha+it of ?Cust
As7, an* #emain silent once you# Huestion has +een as7e*.?
Let &eo&le thin7 you a#e a##ogant an* *eman*ing if that5s what they want to thin7. It is &e#fectly O= fo# &eo&le to
ma7e w#ongful assum&tions an* to &#oBect themselves onto you. By allowing &eo&le to +e ?the Be#7s that they a#e?
@so to s&ea7A without inte#fe#ing with thei# #es&onses, a*vance* s&i#itual *isce#nment is soon *evelo&e* to a
significant *eg#ee. It then +ecomes easy to tell if someone is t#ustwo#thy o# not.
It can +e fun as well as ve#y e*ucative in this #es&ect to as7 &eo&le all 7in*s of Huestions. .hen as7ing a woman
out, as in, ?.ill you g#ace me with you# &#esence this eveningF? an* then allowing he# to have the &#e*icta+le
hesitation #es&onse, in that moment, a#e you not tho#oughly enBoying you#selfF If &a#anoia an* *efensiveness a#e
a+sent to a significant *eg#ee, you5ve answe#e* ?JesI? 8ven #eBection is a 2)N thing to *eal with. "he woman says,
?I can5t go out with you? an* it +ecomes an o&&o#tunity to +e &layful, as in, ?Jou... hate... meF?
It is fun to as7 ina&&#o&#iate Huestions as well. A f#ien* #ecently showe* me an e>&ensive &ainting, to which I
#e&lie*, ?It5s ve#y +eautiful... can I have itF? @"he #oom then c#ac7e* u&.A One of the Huic7est ways to consciously
evolve as a ?.omani/e#? is to sta#t as7ing women anything you feel li7e as7ing them, even if it is not consi*e#e*
?&olite? to as7 such a Huestion. "he 7ey fo# ?getting away with this? is to as7 Huestions f#om the &osition of +eing
li7e an innocent chil*, an* even outwa#*ly #ole$&laying such a state in o#*e# to e>agge#ate this a little. ?.oah, *o
you ma7e lots of moneyFF? o# ?Oh my Rcove#s eyesSI I nee* to 7now if those +oo+ies a#e #eal.?
"he chil* in you can get away with anything.
2. Sloth, Inne# %onflict, An* Oute# <ame
One of the main issues that hol*s a g#eat many of men +ac7 f#om ?getting out the#e an* .omani/ing? is la/iness,
*e&#ession, a&athy, o# sloth. It is a state of 5heaviness5 an* even ho&elessness, whe#e Bust the thought of leaving
the house to go out an* sta#t a&&#oaching women #esults in a feeling of letha#gy an* fatigue followe* +y e>cuses
an* #ationali/ations such as, ?It isn5t 5fai#5 that men have to *o the a&&#oaching an* women Bust have to show u&
an* loo7 &#etty.?
)n*e#neath sloth9la/iness9a&athy9*e&#ession, the#e is the @often hi**enA Huestion of ?.hy even +othe#F? which
then colo#s an* taints one5s ene#gy fiel*, ma7ing life seem *a#7 o# not wo#th living. On a *ee&e# level, un*e#neath
this unconscious ?.hy even +othe#? Huestion #esi*es a #efusal to face one5s fea#s as well as inne# conflict.
Sloth9la/iness9a&athy9*e&#ession @I will use 5sloth5 he#einA is not 5cause*5 +y un$han*le* fea#, inne# conflict, an* the
#esulting ?.hy even +othe#F? Huestion, +ut is me#ely conco#*ant with those facto#s, as well as many mo#e facto#s
such as the #efusal to own &e#sonal #es&onsi+ility, the hat#e* of self an* othe#s, the ego5s com&etitive
*enouncement of the :eality of the Oneness an* Allness of ,ivinity, the +elief ?I am my thoughts?, etc.
In teaching men s&i#itually$o#iente* *ating an* #elationshi&s ove# the yea#s, sloth has +een one of the mo#e
challenging @even ove#whelmingA issues which &#esents itself in such a g#eat num+e# of men that the#e have often
+een thoughts such as, ?.hy *o I even +othe# to teachF? @Note the ?.hy even +othe#F? Huestion.A Hence, even
+eing in the &#esence of sloth can have a *elete#ious effect. Sloth acts ve#y much li7e a negative g#avitational fiel*
that can &ull othe#s *own, i.e., it is infectious.
I have often o+se#ve* a g#eat many ?*ating coaches? going into what seems li7e a simila# state of f#ust#ation with
thei# stu*ents, often even changing thei# teaching style so that it loo7s mo#e li7e a ?+oot cam&? as taught +y an
ang#y A#my <ene#al than a ?school of love.?
.hen *ealing with someone who is in a state of ?.hy +othe#F? sloth, as a teache#, it is a ve#y hum+ling e>&e#ience
in that one comes to #eali/e that it woul* ta7e the communication s7ills of "ony :o++ins &lus the com&assion of the
Bu**ha &lus the 5mi#acle$wo#7s5 of Cesus %h#ist to even +egin to have a &ositive effect on such a &e#son. @As
someone that has +een a teache# in one ca&acity o# anothe# fo# most of this lifetime, the#e a#e ce#tain issues which,
out of the humility of 7nowing the#e is little I can *o to hel&, I usually &#efe# to avoi*. Sloth is &#o+a+ly the main
issue fo# which I5* #athe# ?not even go the#e.?A
INN8: %ON2LI%"
I can #ecall an e>&e#ience in which I ?got hit +y? so much negativity at once that I foun* myself in a state of *ee&
*e&#ession9sloth. I felt ove#whelme* +y the &#os&ect of +eing a human, an* was su**enly #i**le* with inne#
conflicts. I felt stuc7 in this +o*y, an* the futu#e a&&ea#e* ho&eless. "he state was heavy an* letha#gic, an* too7
nea#ly two full *ays of *ee& me*itation to ?clim+ my way out of it.? @As the .itness$+liss state +ecomes nea#ly
constant, unfo#tunately the#e a#e times when Bliss an* 7un*alini ene#gy seem to sto& flowing fo# no a&&a#ent
#eason. Although these e>&e#iences a#e &ainful, they s&u# one on to me*itate non$sto& in o#*e# to t#anscen* the
7a#mic *ifficulty ?no matte# what.? As S&i#itual Love +ecomes a constant in one5s life, it ten*s to ma7e all ?non$love?
seem totally unacce&ta+le.A As I +egan the ?tas7? of closing my eyes an* su##en*e#ing each an* eve#y single
thought without fail, the e>&e#ience taught me that much of the sloth men e>&e#ience has to *o with not 7nowing
what to ?*o? a+out inne# conflict. "his then #esults in ?inne# a#guments? that a#e e>t#emely ta>ing on the ene#gy
su&&ly, leaving one feeling ti#e*, *#aine*, an* wanting to slee& all *ay.
Inne# conflict ve#y often e>&#esses itself in the fo#m of the 5goo* me5 ve#sus the 5+a* me5 @*ualistic i*entificationsA. In
the conte>t of .omani/ing, this can +e usefully *esc#i+e* as the inte#nal conflict +etween the inne# 5#elationshi&
guy5 ve#sus the inne# 5&ic7u& a#tist5, whe#e one si*e +ecomes #e&#esse* an* the othe# si*e is e>&#esse*. Shoul*
one5s inne# 5&ic7u& a#tist5 *ominate, it sometimes lea*s to a life that is cha#acte#i/e* +y unconscious guilt an* self$
hat#e*, as well as the su+tle #esentment of women. On the othe# han*, shoul* the 5#elationshi& guy5 as&ect +e mo#e
*ominant, it ve#y often lea*s to feelings of 5mo#al su&e#io#ity5 @ove# the 4)A ty&esA as well as feelings of f#ust#ation,
i.e., the feeling that one is missing out on 5*ese#ve*5 se>ual va#iety.
In single men, this goo* ve#sus +a* *ichotomy can e>&#ess itself as the ?nice guy? ve#sus the ?Be#7?, whe#e the
?nice guy? &#ima#y conce#ns a#e with mo#ality an* &leasing women fo# the &u#&ose of ho&efully +eing seen as
wo#thy of thei# +o*ies an* thei# affections, while the ?Be#7? &#ima#y conce#ns a#e with +eing ?+a*? @i.e., #e+elliousA as
well as &#oving to women ?I *on5t ca#e what any+o*y thin7s of me? an* ?you can5t cont#ol me +ecause I am so
in*e&en*ent an* s&ecial.? Both of these a&&#oaches a#e eHually t#ans&a#ent as they each stem f#om the inne#
chil*5s nee* fo# a&&#oval, e.g., es&ecially feminine o# mothe#ly a&&#oval. Although in the ?se*uction community? it is
commonly +elieve* that ?Be#7s? enBoy a highe# success #atio than ?nice guys?, this is *e+ata+le inasmuch as +oth
styles a#e non$integ#ous in that they each stem f#om *esi#e an* a#e the#efo#e a fo#m of &assive$agg#essive
+egging. 8ven though one style is mo#e &assive while the othe# is mo#e agg#essive, +oth styles a#e me#ely ?two
si*es of the same coin? in that ?Be#7s? will often switch into the ?nice guy? #ole un*e# st#essful con*itions while ?nice
guys? can +ecome agg#essive @even when one woul* least e>&ect them toA.
4e#ha&s se>ual va#iety ve#sus monogamy is the single most &#evalent inne# conflict e>&e#ience* +y men. Such an
inne# conflict is what accounts fo# a huge &e#centage of *ating an* #elationshi& st#ife, inclu*ing *ivo#ces, mi*$life
c#ises, etc., notwithstan*ing guilt, shame, self$hat#e*, an* self$con*emnation. Mo#e than Bust his testoste#one,
mo*e#n man has to *eal with an almost constant +a##age of glamo#i/e* lust f#om the me*ia. It is not &ossi+le to
even wal7 *own the st#eet to &u#chase a &ac7 of chewing *own at the local convenience sto#e without +eing
assaulte* +y glossy &ictu#es of 5lusty5 women @e.g., +ill+oa#*s, &oste#s, maga/ine cove#s, et al.A, all of which &#ey
on man5s lowest wea7nesses +y conf#onting his animal instinctual *#ives an* his ego9min* almost 2($3. Not
7nowing how to *eal with inne# conflict of such eno#meous 5g#avity5 @an* often #e&#essing one si*e o# the othe#A, a
g#eat many of men a*mit to *e&#ession an* sloth, the#e+y +ecoming victims of the me*ia an* of thei# own +o*y$
min*5s animal instinctual *#ives.
M8N"AL$S4I:I")AL "8%HNIO)8S
"he#e a#e th#ee &owe#ful techniHues I often #ecommen* fo# han*ling *esi#e$lust as well as Bu*gmentalism an* even
inne# conflict.
1. )&on seeing a +eautiful woman an* +ecoming fille* with *esi#e fo# he#, it can +e ve#y hel&ful to ta7e a moment
to visuali/e he# as a +a+y, an* 5fast fo#wa#*5 he# enti#e life &#ocess +y then seeing he# g#owing u&, +ecoming a
teenage#, then a woman, then a &#egnant woman who then has a chil* of he# own, an* then seeing he# g#ow into a
matu#e a*ult woman who then +ecomes ol*e#, smalle#, w#in7le*, etc., an* eventually #etu#ns to the ea#th f#om
whence he# +o*y came while he# soul leaves the +o*y an* ente#s the non$&hysical #ealms. "his visuali/ation only
ta7es - to 10 secon*s an* can ma7e a huge *iffe#ence +ecause it #emin*s one that she is mo#e than Bust a ?hot
chic7.? She is a human +eing who comes f#om ,ivinity, an* he# enti#e life &#ocess is ha&&ening s&ontaneously an*
automatically of its own. "his sim&le visuali/ation is also Huite &#actical fo# healing Bu*gmentalism, i.e., fo# seeing
that an ?ugly an* stu&i* woman? is #eally a c#eatu#e of ,ivinity an* sim&ly 5+eing what she is5 to the ve#y +est of he#
limite* human a+ility.
2. "he#e is anothe# &owe#ful techniHue whe#e you ?catch the min*? when it is eithe# in a state of lust9*esi#e o#
negative Bu*gmentalism an* sim&ly +#eathe 7un*alini @visuali/e it as white o# clea# lightA u& the s&ine, into the +#ain,
+ac7 *own the f#ont of the face an* into the hea#t cha7#a, whe#e it then &ou#s out of you an* onto the woman. @I
often suggest to stu*ents that they use this techniHue as much as they &ossi+ly can +ecause it is mo#e &owe#ful
than they initially #eali/e.A "his &#actice is a &owe#ful &#aye# in that one5s intention is to +ecome a channel of <o*5s
,ivine )ncon*itional Love an* %om&assion fo# all sentient +eings. In me*itation, this &#actice can +e use* in a
num+e# of ways, inclu*ing going ove# one5s memo#ies an* infusing them with light, o# even &ictu#ing the enti#e
&lanet as a +all in s&ace an* +#eathing white light onto the enti#e &lanet an* thus onto all ea#thly +eings
simultaneously. "his &#actice, when use* with consistency, eventually lea*s to a ve#y high state of consciousness
an* even Saintly states of inca&acitating Bliss an* 8cstasy.
!. .hen it comes to *ealing with any inne# conflict, instea* of #e&#essing one si*e o# the othe# @e.g., the 5goo* me5
o# the 5+a* me5A o# feeling li7e one has to choose any one si*e ove# the othe#, the techniHue of +#eathing white light
u& the s&ine, into the hea*, an* all the way on u& to <o* while allowing a #esolution to ta7e &lace s&ontaneously of
its own has +een foun* to +e inc#e*i+ly effective. .heneve# inne# conflicts a#ise, this techniHue, along with the
statement, ?I, of myself, 7now nothing? an* a &#aye# fo# a #esolution to ta7e &lace via a #e$conte>tuali/ation @a
natu#al #esult of having #eache* a highe# level of consciousnessA seems +est +ecause inne# conflicts a#e innate to
the &#evailing level$of$consciousness #athe# than &ossessing any one 5cause5 such as chil*hoo* memo#ies.
"he#efo#e, the Huic7est an* most effective way to heal a conflict that is innate to a ce#tain level of consciousness
an* fo# which the solution is not yet o+vious is to sim&ly inten* to #ise a+ove that &a#ticula# level. "he conflict then
#esolves itself via #e$conte>tuali/ation, i.e., ?I see things *iffe#ently now.? "#ying to analy/e the min* o# weigh out all
of the &#os an* cons is usually ineffective +ecause the min* *oes not have the &owe# to ove#come itself, i.e.,
*ealing with the min* on its own level ?is li7e t#ying to lift you#self u& +y you# own shoelaces.?
"H8 MI,,L8 4A"H
.hen it comes to *ealing with inne# conflict as well as ma7ing o#*ina#y *ecisions, the Bu**ha suggeste* the
Mi**le 4ath, i.e., not too much of 5this5, no# too much of 5that5. "his sim&le a*vice can +e a&&lie* towa#* all of life,
inclu*ing the ty&ical se>ual inne# conflicts men e>&e#ience in the conte>t of *ating an* #elationshi&s.
%e#tain conun*#ums a#ise, o# even what a#e classically te#me* 5tem&tations5, es&ecially in #ega#*s to #eaching the
)ncon*itional Love level$of$consciousness +ecause this level #esults in othe# &eo&le often feeling ve#y att#acte* to
o# even 5in love5 almost instantaneously. At this level, the#e is a significant a+sence of fea#, self$*ou+t, shyness,
*esi#e, nee*iness, etc., which a#e automatically #e&lace* +y &eacefulness, s&ontaneous humo#, the a+ility to 5Bust
7now5 what othe#s a#e thin7ing, +liss states, etc., an* so this level of S&i#itual Love has a noticea+le effect on othe#s
who often go out of thei# way Bust to +e in one5s au#a. "he tem&tations at this level to use one5s s&i#itual con*ition to
?slee& a#oun*? o# ?ma7e lots of money? can a#ise, an* as was note* +y ,#. ,avi* :. Haw7ins @the well$7nown
&sychiat#ist who #eache* 8nlightenment in the 05sA, a g#eat many of &eo&le @inclu*ing famous s&i#itual teache#sA
who #each )ncon*itional Love have fallen *ue to succum+ing to such tem&tations. "he#efo#e, it is im&o#tant to
#emem+e# that Love comes f#om <o* an* not the &e#sonal ego9self @i.e., Love is a ,ivine <iftA an* that it shoul*
neve# +e use* fo# the &u#&ose of wo#l*ly se*uction an* egoic gain, fo# to *o so #esults in the accumulation of
negative 7a#ma @i.e., conseHuencesA. Mo#eove#, mista7es ma*e in the highe# levels usually ca##y a much ?heavie#
7a#mic &#ice? than *o simila# mista7es ma*e f#om the lowe# levels. "he mo#e highly evolve* one is, the mo#e it can
+e sai* that they5#e ?e>&ecte*? to +e accounta+le9#es&onsi+le fo# thei# s&i#itual talent.
"he Mi**le 4ath is ve#y &#actical a*vice in that it can +e #ecalle* wheneve# c#itical *ecisions a#ise, e.g., ?It is O= to
*ate two o# mo#e women simultaneouslyF? o# ?Shoul* I wait a#oun* to see if I can att#act a woman who is a tenF?
.hen loo7e* at f#om the wis*om of the Mi**le 4athway, it +ecomes #athe# o+vious that one$woman$at$a$time is
+est an* that she *oesn5t nee* to +e a 5ten5 at all. I often incite stu*ents to let go of ?the 4)A *#eam? @i.e., the
*#eam of se#ial$*ating multi&le women, inclu*ing 5tens5 o# mo*els o# st#i&&e#sA an* to ?Live An O#*ina#y Life?
instea* +ecause ?a sim&le life is a &eaceful life.? @"he *esi#e to *ate multi&le women, as well as the *esi#e fo#
5tens5, usually +oth stem f#om the nee* to &#ove one5s *esi#a+ility.A
?Living the *#eam? is im&o#tant to most men, +ut it is *iscove#e* that the only thing one eve# t#uly wante* in life was
actually Bust Love itself an* not se>ual conHuests o# social vali*ation an* a&&#oval which a#e su#&#isingly ?*#y?
when com&a#e* to S&i#itual Love states. 4a#a*o>ically, this con*ition *oes lea* to the feeling that one is ?living the
*#eam? +ecause the#e is an uncanny a+ility to ma7e women feel #es&ecte*, a&&#eciate*, an* un*e#stoo*. .omen
ten* to ente# a state of Boy when in the &#esence of S&i#itual Love, an* this alone is foun* to +e a+un*antly fulfilling.
4I%=)4 ,JNAMI%SK A S"84$BJ$S"84 %:I"I%AL ANALJSIS
Someone on ou# fo#um #ecently &oste* a vi*eo$cli& f#om the film 1ic7y %#istina Ba#celona whe#e a man
a&&#oaches two women sitting togethe# at a *inne# ta+le. It is one of the +est e>am&les of the mo#e Silent &ic7u&
style I5ve seen in a long time. Let5s ta7e a loo7G I will then a** some comments an* ?+#ea7 *own his game? $
htt&K99www.youtu+e.com9watchFvZua%2tS-B$LM
%omments an* %la#ificationsK
2i#st an* fo#emost, his a&&#oach was @initiallyA fantastic +ecause it was significantly Silent. It is Silence itself that is
the one ?c#itical facto#? which is conco#*ant with @+ut not the 5cause5 ofA att#action an* even S&i#itual Love. Silence
not only conveys &eacefulness an* confi*ence, +ut, as has +een *iscusse* in &#evious a#ticles, it allows women to
go th#ough thei# highly com&le> inne# 5scanning5 an* selection$o#$#eBection &#ocess without t#ying to cont#ol o#
inte#fe#e with the &#ocess itself. Silence is innately hum+le an* #es&ectful of women in this #ega#*.
"he sim&le act of giving women the Silence as well as the time they nee* *u#ing that fi#st all$im&o#tant c#itical one
minute is something that has esca&e* the *isce#nment of the g#eat maBo#ity of woul*$+e .omani/e#s who ten* to
want to a&&#oach with a cleve# o# funny o# even shoc7ing &ic7u& line. @.hy *o men feel they have to +e so
?fancy?FA
Most &eo&le a#e uncomfo#ta+le with SilenceG it ma7es them feel ne#vous an* #estless. It ta7es only a little *etache*
o+se#vation to see how most &eo&le will say an* *o Bust a+out anything to avoi* conve#sational Silence, an* yet it
is Silence itself which ca##ies the most valueI Silence is a Huality of Love, an* the ego will *o much to avoi* Love
as it is intuite* as its nemesis. Love has the &owe# to ove#come the ego5s innate &#og#amming. 4e#ha&s #athe#
astonishingly, to ma7e significant @an* Huic7A s&i#itual &#og#ess towa#* the state of 8nlightenment, one only nee*s
to wo#shi& Silence. @It has +een sai* +y a g#eat num+e# of mystics that ?the 1oice of <o* is Silent.?A Silence also
affo#*s the .omani/e# a much highe# *eg#ee of S&i#itual ,isce#nment, ma7ing it much easie# to 5Oualify5 women,
i.e., to see +eyon* one5s lustful an* naive egoic &e#ce&tion of a woman5s oute# a&&ea#ance @&e#sonality, loo7sA an*
intuit he# essence @level of consciousness, *eg#ee of innocence, integ#ity, t#ustwo#thiness, etc.A.
%onco#*ant with Silence is the natu#al inclination to slow *own... "hus, to *eli+e#ately wo#7 on slowing *own one5s
ve#+al an* non$ve#+al communication ten*s to #esult in mo#e Silence, an* vice ve#sa. "he man in the a+ove vi*eo
ve#y noticea+ly s&o7e an* move* mo#e slowly than *o ave#age men who usually feel #estless an* hu##ie*, as if
the#e was a nee* to &#ove how ?Huic7 an* cleve#? they can +e, o# as though they feel li7e a +u#*en an* a#e
e>&ecting #eBection *ue to social &a#anoia. @He too7 his time when answe#ing thei# Huestions. "his is an im&o#tant
*istinction that is well wo#th inco#&o#ating into one5s ?game? as soon as &ossi+le.A
2u#the#mo#e, *u#ing the initial a&&#oach, as well as th#oughout the enti#e conve#sation, his eye contact was sha#e*
with each woman eHually. 8s&ecially in that fi#st c#itical one minute of time, it is im&o#tant to give each an* eve#y
single &e#son in the g#ou& Bust a cou&le of secon*s of eye contact each. @Late# on, howeve#, one can sta#t giving
mo#e an* mo#e eye contact to the ?ta#get female?, to use a 5se*uction community5 te#m. RShe has chosen you, an*
you have chosen he#, the#efo#e, it is &e#fectly fine to sta#t giving he# the most eye contact.SA
Nota+le is that his conve#sational o&ene# was ?#eally nothing s&ecial.? He sim&ly as7e* the women if they we#e
Ame#ican. "his is ha#*ly cleve# o# funny. It is not #eally ma#velously s&ectacula# o# s&ecial at all. "hus, no
conve#sational fi#ewo#7s a#e eve# #eHui#e*G in fact, the less, the +ette#. ?Less is mo#e.? 4e#ha&s the ve#y +est
o&ene#s a#e the &lain an* o#*ina#y ones, in that with humility an* the acce&tance of humanness itself @an* the
#esulting sense of emotional *etachmentA, one can easily see that social an>iety is &#esent in Bust a+out all social
situations. "he#efo#e, 7ee&ing the conve#sation on a sim&le an* easy to un*e#stan* level will not a** to the al#ea*y
e>isting an>ieties, as woul* a cleve# o# coc7y o&ene#, which then ta>es the intellect an* #esults in not only g#eate#
an>iety levels +ut also is an ene#gy *#ain which leaves &eo&le feeling ti#e*. @As has +een state* seve#al times, it is
wise to avoi* ta>ing the human intellect in the conte>t of *ating an* &ic7u&.A
Although he as7e* them if they we#e Ame#ican, they *i* not answe# his Huestion. Instea*, the +lon* woman
#e&lie*, ?I5m %#istina, an* this is my f#ien* 1ic7y.? Not answe#ing the initial Huestion is a common #es&onse f#om
women, who ten* to +e Huite ne#vous an* *efensive when they a#e +eing a&&#oache*, even when they *o not
a&&ea# ne#vous o# *efensive at all. @4e#ha&s most men *o not #eali/e Bust how an>ious women a#e *u#ing a 5&ic7u&5
+ecause they themselves a#e so ne#vous. It is li7e ?the +lin* lea*ing the +lin*.?A How he han*le* this was
im&o#tant. "hat is, instea* of clinging to his o#iginal Huestion, he sim&ly as7e* them a new Huestion. It is almost
always +ette# to go with ?the flow of the #ive#? @as in "ao teachingsA than to cling, #esist, o# get stuc7 on any one
to&ic @this is es&ecially t#ue in the fi#st few minutes when social an>iety is still highA.
Also nota+le is that initially, his han*s we#e in his &oc7ets. %ont#ast this with most men who ten* to ne#vously wave
thei# han*s a#oun* an* ma7e e>agge#ate* gestu#es, inevita+ly a**ing to a woman5s al#ea*y e>isting social an>iety
an* *efensiveness. "he sim&le act of &lacing one5s han*s in one5s &oc7ets can #esult in a much calme# an* mo#e
&eaceful vi+e. Although it ce#tainly isn5t a necessa#y ?&ic7u& #ule? to follow, we see that the#e is value to this in that
can se#ve to lessen social #eactivity on +oth si*es. .hen *oing &ic7u&, a nice #ule of thum+ is to +e almost ?too
#ela>e*.? @NoteK Since ?han*s$in$the$&oc7et? can +e consi*e#e* #u*e an* 5unclassy5, the suggestion is to 7ee& one5s
han*s gene#ally *own +y one5s si*e, at least initially.A
"he secon* Huestion he as7e* was a**#esse* to the +lon* woman, namely, ?.hat colo# a#e you# eyesF? 2i#st of
all, his tone of voice an* gene#al +o*y language was ve#y .a#m. He#e I am using a ca&itol . to illust#ate that
.a#mth is a s&i#itual ene#gy. "he &#i*eful ego, on the othe# han*, is col* an* calculating. It is the#efo#e wise to
wo#7 on *evelo&ing one5s .a#mth, as it lessens social an>iety an* ten*s to have a healing effect on othe#s.
.a#mth is a cha#acte#istic of Love itself. 4e#ha&s anothe# wo#* we can use he#e is <entle E the man was <entle in
his a&&#oach. Secon*ly, the Huestion, ?.hat colo# a#e you# eyesF? is ve#y o+viously a 5come on5. He was not
e>actly as7ing he#, ?.hat *o you *o fo# a livingF? o# ?.hat time is itF? o# ?%an I get a female o&inionF? In othe#
wo#*s, he avoi*e* engaging the woman5s intellectual min*, an* he instea* as7e* he# something ve#y intimate @an*
yet he #emaine* within the #ealm of a&&#o&#iatenessA a+out he#self. As7ing a woman a Huestion such as this is
Huite &owe#ful +ecause it is unam+iguous, i.e., so$calle* ?*i#ect game.?
Ne>t, +ecause he initially *i* Bust a+out eve#ything with im&#essive com&etence @i.e., Silence, move$an*$tal7$slowly,
ove#all #ela>e* an* gentle *emeano#, s&ea7$ve#y$little, as7 only sim&le an* o#*ina#y Huestions, etc.A, he then
?ea#ns the #ight? to ?go st#aight fo# the 7ill? o# ?close the *eal? #ight then an* the#e, afte# only as7ing two Huestions.
Simila#ly, a t#ue .omani/e# t#ies to +e as fo#th#ight an* 5*i#ect5 as &ossi+le, not +ecause it 5causes5 att#action +ut
+ecause it is in alignment with honesty an* t#uth an* love an* the#efo#e with t#ue &owe#. %ont#astingly, all
&e#suasiveness, cleve#ness, 5calculate*ness5, an* se*uction stem f#om fo#ce, which automatically then #esult in
counte#$fo#ce, i.e., #esistance an* #eBection. It is not &ossi+le to ?#eBect? &owe# in that t#ue &owe# is s&i#itual9non$
linea#, i.e., Oneness cannot +e ?#eBecte*? +ecause it is inclusive of All "hat IsG it stems f#om a highe# &a#a*igm than
that of the ego. In othe# wo#*s, in aligning one5s ?game? with s&i#itual t#uth, one is simultaneously aligning with thei#
S&i#it, which is invisi+le an* +eyon* #eBection, humiliation, o# attac7 f#om othe# human ego5s. @8ventually, one
comes to #eali/e that ?#eBection? is #eally Bust a fallacious conce&t within min* that has no e>istence in :eality at all.
"he #oyal #oa* to #eaching this #eali/ation is to sim&lify one5s ?game? +y ma7ing it as innocent, sim&le, silent, an*
t#uthful as &ossi+le.A
Although this man *i* many things co##ectly, he was, in fact, also ma7ing &lenty of c#itical mista7es ostensi+ly *ue
to a significant lac7 of s&i#itual awa#eness. @"his is Huite o+viously what accounte* fo# the +#unette woman5s
#esistance9ave#sion.A 2o# one thing, the ego often loves to +e 5+a*5 an*, not unli7e Howa#* Ste#n, loves to &lay the
#ole of ?shoc7 Boc7.? )n*e#neath this attitu*e #esi*es much unconscious f#ust#ation, ange#, an* even #age. .e 5saw5
this man5s inne# #e+ellious teenage# ve#y clea#ly th#oughout the #est of the *ialogue. He sai* many ina&&#o&#iate
things an* was highly *efensive +ecause f#an7ly, a 4)A5s non$love, non$t#uth, an* na#cissism a#e what invite
female agg#ession an* attac7, which then necessitates the nee* fo# *efensiveness. "#uth, love, an* innocence, on
the othe# han*, *on5t nee* to +e *efen*e* as they a#e neve# vulne#a+le to attac7. By analogy, it is not &ossi+le to
?ha#m? the s7y with +ullets.
"he ego loves to 5show off5 how *a#ing it can +e, as was *emonst#ate* when the man sai*, ?Let me show you
a#oun* the cityG we5ll eat wellG we5ll *#in7 goo* wineG we5ll ma7e love...? @.as it #eally necessa#y o# f#uitful fo# him to
a**, ?.e5ll ma7e love?FA
,eli+e#ately saying ina&&#o&#iate o# shoc7ing things stems f#om the *esi#e to +e seen as the ?+a* +oy? as well as
the *esi#e to &#ove one is immune to the o&inions of othe#s. 4a#a*o>ically @an* #athe# t#ans&a#entlyA, it is actually a
fo#m of a&&#oval$see7ing in that it see7s attention +y *eli+e#ately #is7ing social emotionality, i.e., via ?taunting.?
Although, to the unt#aine* eye, this 7in* of +ehavio# may seem ?honest? +ecause it is so ?*i#ect?, it is essentially
non$integ#ous9*ishonest in that it contains a hi**en motive, i.e., na#cissistic attention$see7ing an* &u#&osely
?shoc7ing? the emotions fo# the &u#&ose of se*uction$cont#ol. "his 7in* of communication the#efo#e su+tly
*enig#ates women.
It is Huite easy to see that as he +egan ?*i&&ing into? non$integ#ous communications, he simultaneously +egan to
s&ea7 at a much faste# #ate, even ma7ing Huic7 ?sna&&ing? hea* movements an* han* gestu#es. "he &#o+lem with
non$integ#ity is that it nee*s to +e *efen*e*, an* his +o*y language +egan to #eflect his *efensiveness.
2u#the#mo#e, he then suggeste* that they woul* have a 5th#eesome5. Although 5th#eesomes5 *o in*ee* often ?seem
li7e a goo* i*ea? on the su#face, in essence they a#e non$integ#ous +ecause they t#igge# a woman5s instinctual
Bealousy. It is im&ossi+le fo# a woman to not feel Bealous in this conte>t @even if the Bealousy is #e&#esse* outsi*e of
awa#eness, it still ve#y much e>ists an* actually ha#ms he# &hysically, emotionally, an* s&i#ituallyA. Cealousy is
classically #efe##e* to as a 5satanic5 ene#gy, not +ecause of an allego#ical entity name* Satan, +ut #athe#, satanic
+ehavio#s an* ene#gies *enote a class o# 5att#acto# fiel*5 which is #elate* to +loo*, 7illing, lust, #a&e, etc., of which
Bealousy almost inevita+ly &lays a su+stantial #ole. "he#efo#e, se>ual acts which t#igge# Bealousy a#e 5satanic5, non$
integ#ous, an* shoul* the#efo#e +e avoi*e*, i.e., Bealousy is sai* to natu#ally lea* to hat#e* an* the *esi#e to 7ill @as
&e# 2#eu*5s I*A.
Although on the su#face it may seem as though the +#unette was ?#aining on his &a#a*e?, it is mo#e li7ely that she is
an integ#ous woman who &osses g#eate# matu#ity, t#ust$wo#thiness, an* ethics. She is me#ely ?calling him on his
BS?, an* since non$integ#ity nee*s to +e *efen*e*, the man is then seen to e>&en* eve#$g#eate# amounts of
ene#gy ?&laying *efense?, e.g., t#ying to &e#sua*e an* convince, using se*uction$cha#m, an* having to come u&
with cleve# e>cuses, #ationali/ations, etc., with his social an>iety ve#y o+viously escalating in the &#ocess.
A little late# in the conve#sation, the +lon* woman acce&ts his offe# an* the man then #ema#7s, ?.hen I saw you at
the a#t galle#y, I notice* you have +eautiful li&s. 1e#y full, ve#y se>ual.? Again, it is unnecessa#y an* even g#ossly
counte#&#o*uctive to ma7e ove#t se>ual comments of any 7in*. He soon *efen*e*9Bustifie*9Hualifie* himself an* his
+ehavio# even mo#e +y stating, ?I came ove# he#e with no su+te#fuge an* &#esente* my +est offe#. Now I ho&e you
will *iscuss it an* let me ta7e you to >$&lace.? It is im&o#tant to note that those who a#e *efensive a#e often also
telling lies, i.e., he *i* in fact &ossess a su+te#fuge in the fo#m of seve#al @&e#ha&s unconsciousA hi**en agen*a5s,
as has +een note* &#eviously @5teenage #e+ellion5 consciousness, the nee* to &#ove his *esi#a+ility, non$integ#ous
*esi#es, et al.A.
His final wo#*s we#e, ?"hin7 it ove#?, accom&anie* +y even mo#e *efensive +o*y language, an* finally, +y wal7ing
off im&olitely. .hen wal7ing away f#om any social inte#action, it is +est to stay within the #ealm of %hival#y an* as7
to +e e>cuse* f#om the conve#sation, e.g., ?If you5ll e>cuse me, I have to get +ac7 ove# to my f#ien*s now.?
%ON%L)SION
S&i#itually$+ase* ?.omani/ing? ten*s to not only inclu*e the ve#y +est 5tools5, +ut also sim&lifies the enti#e &ic7u&
&#ocess, ma7ing the life of a ?.omani/e#? ve#y easy an* natu#al. Mo#eove#, only s&i#ituality$+ase* &ic7u& has the
&owe# that is #eHui#e* to select integ#ous women @*ue to its un&a#allele* *isce#nmentA. 2#ee f#om gene#ating un*ue
an* unwante* negative 7a#ma o# #eBection, it lea*s in the *i#ection we call Heaven.
"#uth is #ela>e* an* f#ee f#om *efensiveness an* social &a#anoia. It is the#efo#e a*visa+le to not only stay within
the #ealm of Integ#ity an* %hival#y as much as one can, +ut to also 7ee& a watchful eye on the social &a#anoia an*
*efensiveness of othe#s, fo# it often #eveals they have hi**en motives an* the#efo#e lac7 even the most
#u*imenta#y t#ustwo#thiness, intelligence, s&i#itual awa#eness, an* st#ength of cha#acte#.
23. :eal =nighthoo* ,ynamics
.ith the un*oing of the 5*oingness5 &a#a*igm of causality, the &#o&e# g#oun*wo#7 has +een lai* fo# us to once
again sta#t #esuming ou# 5*oingness5, es&ecially in the fo#m of humo# as well as that of &#otecting women. As the
na#cissistic selfishness of wanting to ?get? is su##en*e#e* to selfless se#vice, this maBo# shift in attitu*e then ma7es
it a&&#o&#iate to ?*o? once again. So the Huestion +ecomes, ?How s&ecifically *o we se#ve an* &#otect womenF?
"he st#uctu#e of humo# has +een &#ovi*e* in a &#evious a#ticle, the#efo#e, to*ay5s focus will +e &#ima#ily on
%hival#y.
"he *ecision to #each the state of )ncon*itional Love has to +e ?no matte# what?, +ecause the ego is e>&ecte* to
&ut u& much #esistance along the &athway. It views uncon*itional love as +eing ?unfai#?, an* it misun*e#stan*s love
to +e an emotion. Love is actually an inne# con*ition as well as a way of +eing with one5s self an* othe#s. Love is
the t#uth of not who, +ut what you a#e. Secon*ly, the ego is e>&ecte* to #esist )ncon*itional Love +ecause it
sec#etly wants to maintain its illusion that it is sove#ign, i.e., the ego thin7s it is <o* an* will +e #eluctant to give u&
the most che#ishe* of all illusions. Allego#ically, the &#oclamation that the ego is in com&etition with <o* has +een
*e&icte* as the g#eat +attle +etween Lucife# @the egoA an* A#changel Michael @S&i#itual "#uthA, who then cast
Lucife# out of Heaven an* *own into Hell in <o*5s name.
"he &athway to #eaching the genuine state of uncon*itional love is ve#y sim&le, an* this is &#ecisely why few follow
the ste&s. One sim&ly nee*s to ma7e the *ecision to +e cou#teous, gentle, 7in*, fo#giving, an* com&assionate
towa#* all of life, in all situations, no matte# what, an* with no e>ce&tions. "his inclu*es +eing 7in* an*
com&assionate with one5s own ego an* thoughts as well.
"his wis*om has +een availa+le fo# thousan*s of yea#s, howeve#, it is un&o&ula# @only 0.(D of humans follow itA. At
one time, the a+ove &iece of s&i#itual wis*om was sha#e* in a &u+lic newslette#, an* the #esult was that ove# 100
#ea*e#s @many of them long$te#mA unsu+sc#i+e* f#om the i*ea<asms5 f#ee newslette# in Bust a few sho#t hou#s. "hat
the human ego lite#ally che#ishes Bu*gmentalism is Huite o+vious. 2u#the#mo#e, many &eo&le @'-DA a#e actually
inca&a+le of +eing honest with themselves fo# a num+e# of #easons inclu*ing emotional @to a*mit the t#uth woul*
lea* to guilt an* shameA, &hysiological @+#ain chemist#yA an* es&ecially level$of$consciousness. "hus, to follow the
sim&le 7in*e#ga#ten teaching ?Be 7in* an* com&assionate to eve#yone, inclu*ing you#self? is im&ossi+le fo# them
+ecause it woul* mean they woul* have to fi#st #eali/e that they a#e not 7in* via self$honesty.
"he *ifficulty in not only facing, +ut in actually following this teaching a#ises f#om the ego5s &e#ce&tions as well. 2o#
e>am&le, one of the hi**en +eliefs of all ego5s is that ?life is unfai# +ecause the innocent suffe# while the guilty go
un&unishe*.? In cu##ent society an* es&ecially in &olitics an* the me*ia, the#e is the hi**en +elief that ?all mino#ities
a#e the victims of #ich white men.? Anothe# hi**en +elief of the human ego is ?goo* &eo&le *ese#ve #ewa#*s, an*
+a* &eo&le *ese#ve to +e &unishe*.? Society also +elieves, ?If you *o something goo*, you shoul* +e &#ou* of
you#self, +ut when you *o something +a*, you shoul* +e ashame* of you#self.? @,ualistic +eliefs &#eclu*e the non$
*ualistic &a#a*igm of Oneness we call 5Love5.A
.ith the a+ove &#og#ams o&e#ating in all levels of society, as well as the clinical fact that the maBo#ity of &e#sons
a#e not even awa#e they a#e +eing 5#un5 +y such &#og#ams, it +ecomes easy to see why the wo#l* woul* #esist
&owe#ful s&i#itual teachings such as ?Be 7in* at all times? o# ?,o unto othe#s as you woul* have them *o unto you.?
"o the ave#age ego, such teachings seem 5nuts5, c#a/y, o# even *ange#ous. @"hose who #eveal s&i#itual t#uth a#e
often *enounce* o# even savagely 7ille* fo# *oing so.A
In the ?se*uction community?, one of its hi**en +eliefs coul* +e state* as, ?If you a#e 7in* to women, they5ll
+ecome +#atty, unmanagea+le, etc., an* will lose att#action an* #es&ect fo# you.? @?Nice guys finish last.?A On the
othe# han*, the#e is also the +elief, ?Ce#7s get all the women +ecause they a#e not nee*y.? "hese two *isto#te* half$
t#uths a#e what have #esulte* in the well$7nown an* highly &#aise* ?coc7y funny? style of social inte#action an*
even the maBo#ity of the online *ating in*ust#y as a whole whe#e it is assume* that a man shoul* only love a
woman as little as is necessa#y to ?get? he# into +e*. A well$7nown cynical +elief sha#e* +y men all ove# the wo#l*
is, ?He who loves least cont#ols the #elationshi&.?
So long as these 7in*s of &#og#ams #emain un*etecte* within a man5s consciousness, uncon*itional love is not
&ossi+le @an* the#efo#e ha&&iness itself is not &ossi+leA. "he +elief, ?He who loves least cont#ols the #elationshi&? is
only a&&ealing to those who *esi#e cont#ol in the fi#st &lace. "his #esults in an attitu*e of &a#anoi* *efensiveness,
whe#e a man gives a woman only a small amount of a&&#oval @if an* when he feels she 5*ese#ves5 itA. If she
*is&lays +a* +ehavio#, he then lea#ns to withhol* his affections. Both &a#tne#s 7ee& ta+s on each othe#, ca#efully
ma7ing su#e the give$an*$ta7e is ?fai# an* +alance*.? 8ve#y now an* again, one &a#tne# feels they a#e 5+eneath5 the
othe# @i.e., social statusA an* volunta#ily gives them the cont#ol of thei# #elationshi&, an* yet sec#etly they #esent
feeling cont#olle* an* eventually #etaliate in often une>&ecte* an* un*etecte* ways @i.e., &assive$agg#essiveA.
Mo#eove#, when the ave#age #elationshi& en*s, it not only en*s in +itte#ness, #esentment, confusion, an* hu#t
feelings, +ut the ne>t #elationshi& is usually att#acte* via 5victimhoo*5, e.g., she is c#ying +y he#self at the +a# an* a
man as7s he# if she is O=. She then tells him all a+out he# ?+a* e>$+oyf#ien*? who was ?unfai#? to he# @an* they en*
u& in +e* togethe#A.
Since most humans a#e 5#un5 +y fallacious *ualistic ego &#og#amming an* not +y thei# t#ue s&i#itual selves, loving
them un#ese#ve*ly an* without con*itions not only seems ?unfai#? +ut can also seem *ange#ous. "he#e is often an
uns&o7en fea# that uncon*itional love coul* #esult in one +eing seen as wea7 o# even stu&i*. 4e#ha&s this coul*
then lea* to one +eing ta7en a*vantage of o# slighte* in some way. "hese 7in*s of fea#s can +e un*one +y
#eali/ing that they a#e all +ase* u&on the hy&othetical an* not the :eal.
Most &eo&le a#e 5#un5 +y 7in*e#ga#ten notions of ?fai#ness? an* not com&assionate un*e#stan*ing. "o cite a #ecent
e>am&le, my wife an* I we#e #ecently sitting on an ai#&lane, an* Bust a few moments +efo#e ta7eoff the &lane
slowe* *own an* came to a full sto&. .e we#e then tol* that the#e was a mechanical *efect an* that we nee*e* to
get off the &lane an* go +ac7 insi*e the ai#&o#t, whe#e we woul* have to stan* in line all ove# again to get new
tic7ets. @It was annoying, +ut we we#e ha&&y they *iscove#e* the e##o# while we we#e still on the g#oun*.A
As my wife an* I stoo* in the line$u& waiting fo# ou# new flight$tic7ets, a woman who wo#7e* at one of the tic7et
counte#s wal7e* ove# to all of us who we#e waiting in line an* mentione* how ce#tain &eo&le who a#e f#om Mont#eal
nee*e* to get in f#ont of the line +efo#e all the othe#s. "hus, my wife an* I move* to the f#ont of the line, as we we#e
tol* to *o.
A few minutes late#, we we#e tol* that the#e was a mista7e, an* that the &eo&le f#om Mont#eal E fo# #easons that
a#e still unclea# E no longe# nee*e* to +e at the f#ont of the line, i.e., the#efo#e, if the#e we#e still Mont#eale#s in +ac7
of the line, they shoul* stay &ut.
A+out ten minutes late#, a man f#om the lineu& a&&#oache* me in a state of #e*$face* ange# an* sai*, ?Jou cut in
f#ont of me. Mont#eale#s a#e no longe# su&&ose* to +e in f#ont, so why *on5t you go to the +ac7 of the line whe#e
you we#eF? @.e coul* actually see the vein in his fo#ehea* stic7ing out, an* his han*s an* voice we#e sha7ing.A
=in*e#ga#ten notions of fai#ness, as well as the 5&uffe* u&5 feeling that one is 5mo#ally su&e#io#5 to othe#s, a#e #eally
what occu&y most human min*5s most of the time.
"hose who misun*e#stan* 7in*ness an* com&assion might have listene* to that man5s 5whiney5 inst#uctions to go
+ac7 in the line. Cesus %h#ists5 teaching, ?"o tu#n the othe# chee7? is most often misun*e#stoo* as an inst#uction to
+e wea7, &assive, o# easily mani&ulate*. Howeve#, +eing 7in*, consi*e#ate an* com&assionate *oes not eHual
+eing a 5*oo#mat5 at all. It is &ossi+le to +e 7in* an* still say ?no? to &eo&le without feeling guilty.
.hen this man conf#onte* me, I sim&ly loo7e* him st#aight in the eye, an* ma7ing su#e to s&ea7 lou*ly enough so
that most &eo&le coul* hea# me, I sai* something along the lines of, ?A#e you t#ying to +e the g#eat he#o in f#ont of
all these &eo&leF Jou want to &#ove to eve#yone he#e that you5#e a victim an* I am the evil &e#&et#ato#, is that itF
Jou feel the wo#l* is unfai# an* you want to fight the fo#ces of evil so that you can show me that you5#e 5mo#ally
su&e#io#5F A#e you still in 7in*e#ga#ten an* &a#anoi* a+out immatu#e conce&ts of fai#nessF A#e you fighting fo#
Huality an* fai#ness an* Bustice, a#e you t#ying to +e li7e BatManF A#e you #eally as7ing me to ta7e my fou# huge
&ieces of luggage, along with my two 7itties an* my wife, an* ma7e twelve &eo&le move out of the way so that we
can sHuee/e +ac7 into this lineu&F?
Most &eo&le we#e laughing at this &oint, an* he was stunne* silent +ecause I #eally ha* his num+e#. I ha* Bust
o+se#ve* an* +#ought to light seve#al of his unconscious motivations, all of which he himself was unawa#e. "his
c#eates a ?t#ance? effectG the man coul* +a#ely move o# s&ea7. I then sai*, ?4lease fo#give me, si#. If you want to
come in f#ont of me, you can. "he#e is a &lace fo# you #ight he#e. Jou can stan* he#e an* tell me what a +a* &e#son
I am fo# the ne>t twenty minutes if you must. But if you thin7 I5m going to go th#ough the hassle of getting all of my
stuff an* my two 7itties an* my fou# &ieces of luggage an* my wife an* moving it all the way ove# the#e, you a#e
sa*ly mista7en.?
I wasn5t un7in* in the slightest. My communication was me#ely t#uthful, an* not #u*e o# im&olite. )ncon*itional Love
is &owe#, not wea7ness. Love is &owe#ful +ecause it is t#uthful. "he Swo#* of s&i#itual t#uth is not a ?hea#ts an*
flowe#s? o# ?soft an* f#uity? ene#gy at all. "he a#t of ?amogging? someone using ?coc7y funny? is neithe# 5goo*5 no#
5+a*5. It is the intention +ehin* such tactics that matte#s. .hen use* out of the chil*ish *esi#e to 5win5 an* +e 5#ight5
@e.g., com&etition, se*uction, &#i*eA it then +ecomes a two$e*ge* swo#* which *enig#ates +oth the s&ea7e# an* the
listene#, +ut when use* fo# integ#ous &u#&oses @i.e., chival#y, &#otecting a woman, stan*ing u& fo# t#uth, etc.A it is
win9win fo# eve#yone involve*.
.hen it comes to ?amogging?, &#otecting women, o# any 7in* of social inte#action whatsoeve#, %hival#y is the 7ey.
A few gene#al gui*elinesK
1. Always +e cou#teous, f#ien*ly, an* &olite. 8ven if you honestly *on5t li7e someone5s ego, the#e is no nee* to
lowe# you#self to thei# level. Be &olite an* cou#teous without e>ce&tion, an* always +e as gentle as you can. "he#e
is no nee* to 5win5 o# +e 5#ight5, an* the intention shoul* neve# +e to ma7e a &e#son feel ashame* of themselves. It
is &e#fectly fine if they en* u& feeling ashame* @they a#e #es&onsi+le fo# thei# own emotional intelligenceA, +ut you#
intention shoul*n5t +e to ma7e them feel +a*. Instea*, you# intention is to stan* u& fo# t#uth wheneve# you a#e
calle* u&on to *o so.
2. ,o not cu#se. Swea#ing is O= when it is use* fo# the &u#&ose of humo# o# emotional healing @?&#imal sc#eams?A,
+ut othe# than those two conte>ts it shoul* +e avoi*e*.
!. ,o not #aise you# voice too much. .hen you s&ea7 too lou*ly it in*uces an>iety, +oth in you#self an* in othe#s.
Instea* of using fo#ce, #ely on the &owe# of t#uth instea*. "#uth is enough to get the Bo+ *one.
(. Become emotionally *etache* ASA4. 8motions a#e a sign of chil*ish insecu#ity, nee*iness, an* Bu*gmentalism.
"o *etach f#om emotionality, Bust feel the emotions fully as they a#ise, #etu#n to the .itness state, an* you can also
+#eathe white light u& the s&ine as you inhale an* go, ?Ooommmmm? @inte#nallyA as you e>hale. Also #emem+e# to
let go of all associate* thoughtsG they a#e gene#ally useless. "he min* cannot solve its own issues. Something
g#eate# than itself is nee*e* @i.e., Highe# %onsciousness9Awa#enessA.
-. ,o not +#ea7 eye contact, es&ecially when you5#e un*e# heat. Jou *on5t want to intimi*ate &eo&le fo# no #eason,
+ut when you have no choice, then you have no choice. .o#7ing on the ?;en <a/e? @conte>t9&e#i&he#y M +#eathing
M soft eyesA is c#ucial, +oth fo# the &u#&ose of intimacy as well as the &u#&ose of *efen*ing you#self. .hen most
guys a#e un*e# heat, they ty&ically ente# a state of eithe# wanting to fight @?sta#ing the othe# guy *own?A o# flight
@loo7ing *own o# awayA. Neithe# of these styles a#e effective. ;en <a/ing is the Highe# .ay in all situations
+ecause it has a soothing effect on &eo&le. It is an unemotional, un$#eactive, unaf#ai*, non$mani&ulative, an*
uncon*itionally loving way of +eing in the wo#l*. @A useful ti& is to t#y an* +e awa#e of not only you# &e#i&he#al
vision +ut also of you# total su##oun*ings, i.e. !0$*eg#ees all a#oun* you. If this feels aw7wa#* in the +eginning,
Bust ?&#eten*? that you5#e al#ea*y succee*ing.A
. ,o not inte##u&t &eo&le when they a#e still in the mi**le of s&ea7ing, an* #esist the tem&tation to t#y an* come u&
with the ne>t thing to say afte# they finish. Most &eo&le *o not listen at all, an* it is easy to *etect this a+out them,
e.g., too much +lin7ing often means too much thin7ing. Mo#e than Bust t#ying to +e 5sma#t5, most ego5s hate silence
an* will say Bust a+out anything to avoi* any uncomfo#ta+le ga&s of silence. Actually though, the ga&s in silence a#e
usually an o&&o#tunity fo# t#ue intimacy. .hen ga&s of silence a#ise, the suggestion is to enBoy a little silence$
me*itation @the .itness stateA an* also allow othe#s to feel uncomfo#ta+le if they want to.
3. :es&ect you# el*e#s as well as autho#ity figu#es. "#eat eve#yone as though you a#e thei# hum+le se#vant. It is
actually Huite enBoya+le to #efe# to men as ?si#? an* to women ?ma5am?, t#eating even the homeless +um as though
he we#e a #es&ecte* No+el 4#i/e winne#. Cesus %h#ist sai*, ?,o unto othe#s as you woul* have them *o unto you.?
I suggest t#eating eve#yone as though they themselves we#e Cesus %h#ist o# the Bu**ha, fo# it is infinitely mo#e
so&histicate*, cha#ming, an* classy to +e of se#vice than it is to com&ete.
'. :emove you# hea*gea# u&on ente#ing a +uil*ing, even if no humans a#e the#e to see it. 2u#the#mo#e, neve# 7ee&
you# hat on while at the *inne# ta+le. It #eflects ve#y &oo# etiHuette.
6. .hen sitting *own fo# a meal, gene#ally it is a goo* i*ea to wait until all the guests a#e &#o&e#ly seate* an* #ea*y
to commence the meal +efo#e eating.
10. Always o&en *oo#s fo# women. 8ven if they feel the nee* to com&lain fo# want to feel insulte*. "he main #eason
men o&en *oo#s fo# women is +ecause they a#e &hysically st#onge# than women, as o&&ose* to +eing ?+ette#? than
women.
11. .hen on a *ate, hel& a woman ta7e off, an*9o# &ut on, he# coat. @"his one is &a#ticula#ly &owe#ful.A
12. Hel& with he# seat. Hel& he# get seate* +y &ulling he# chai# out fo# he# an* gently &ushing it +ac7 into &lace
once she5s seate*.
1!. <ive u& you# seat. If a la*y a##ives at the ta+le an* the#e a#e no availa+le seats, stan* u& an* offe# you#s to he#.
It is also a goo* i*ea to *o this on +uses, t#ains, etc.
1(. Sna& to attention, +y stan*ing u& when a la*y ente#s o# e>its the #oom. "his etiHuette #ule has +een somewhat
#ela>e*, so you can stan* u&on ent#ance +ut #emain seate* u&on e>it. Nonetheless, if you *o +oth, women will
swoon. @,on5t *o these 7in*s of things with a se#ious *emeano# at all, +ut a &layful one. It can also +e fun to ste&
this u& a notch +y #ole$&laying eithe# the ?su&e# gentleman? o# even the ?ass 7isse#.?A
1-. Stic7 out you# el+ow to let the woman 7now she can ta7e hol* of you# a#m when esco#ting he# to an* f#om
social events. "he ?sol*ie#$li7e? &u#&ose of this is fo# he# to feel safe an* &#otecte*, es&ecially if she is wea#ing
high$heels, wal7ing on a si*ewal7 nea# a +usy st#eet, c#ossing at an inte#section, etc.
1. As7 if she nee*s anything. .hen at social events, ma7e su#e to as7 the la*y if you can get he# something to
*#in7 @o# eat, *e&en*ing on the eventA. @It can even +e fun to go a#oun* the &a#ty an* as7 women if you can +e of
se#vice in some way, o# if the#e is something you can *o to ma7e thei# evening mo#e enBoya+le.A
13. ,on5t flaunt o# +#ag. :emain vague if you have to *iscuss ca#ee# o# financial matte#s.
1'. ,on5t let othe#s see you loo7ing at you# watch o# cell &hone unless you must 7now the time o# must chec7 you#
messages. If you can get away with *oing so, #emove all cloc7s an* watches f#om you# life, an* only as7 you#self
?.hat time is itF? when it is a+solutely necessa#y to 7now the time. Letting go of won*e#ing what time it is lea*s to
states of timelessness.
16. Be &unctual. Showing u& late is sometimes consi*e#e* ?cool? +ecause it conveys that you a#e ?+usy? an* &lay
+y you# own #ules, +ut then again, society also naively +elieves ?&#i*e is goo*.? @?Being cool? is actually non$
integ#ous.A 4unctuality is a sign of humility an* #es&ect fo# othe#s. Jou *on5t nee* to feel guilty fo# showing u& late
@?shit ha&&ens?A, +ut *o ma7e a since#e effo#t to +e on time an* as7 fo# othe#s fo#giveness when a##iving
somewhe#e late.
20. Sha7e han*s fi#mly, +ut only with men. "he socially &a#anoi* an* highly *efensive feminist e#a5s of the 05s,
305s, an* '05s a#e ove#. It is the#efo#e &e#fectly fine to t#eat a la*y li7e a la*y once again. )nless the woman is
inte#viewing you fo# a Bo+, the suggestion is to gently tu#n he# han* so that he# w#ist goes u& slightly towa#* you.
@Cust a little.A
21. 1e#+al g#ace. )se ?e>cuse me? o# ?&a#*on me? when a&&#o&#iate, whethe# it5s to get someone to move out of
you# way, to e>cuse you#self to the men5s #oom, o# even u&on a&&#oaching a woman to sta#t a conve#sation.
22. "i& well an* *isc#eetly. :es&ect the 1-D g#atuity fo# #estau#ant ta+s an* nothing less than [10 fo# the Mait#e ,5
who Bust +#o7e a sweat while ca#ting all of that su&e#$heavyweight luggage to you# #oom. %ou#teous ta>ica+ *#ive#s
shoul* also get a *ecent ti&G most of them have to wo#7 0 hou#s o# mo#e to su&&o#t thei# families an* +a#ely 5+#ea7
even5 each month.
2!. A**#ess new acHuaintances +y thei# title an* last name. ,octo# an* milita#y #an7s a#e im&o#tant to the &eo&le
who have these titles. M#. an* M#s. shoul* +e use* fo# the othe#s @if you5#e unsu#e a+out a woman5s ma#ital status,
use Ms. Ro# ma5amS when a**#essing he#A. .ait until they as7 you to use thei# fi#st name +efo#e *oing so.
2(. 2o#mal int#o*uctions a#e mo#e classy than ?&ic7u&.? "he ol*$fashione* &h#ases ?Have we metF? o# ?Have we
+een int#o*uce*F? a#e ve#y han*y. If you feel li7e s&ea7ing to some+o*y, if you can, fin* a &e#son the two of you
have in common an* a##ange a &#o&e# int#o*uction. 2o#mal int#o5s a#e es&ecially useful fo# meeting women o#
social su&e#io#s.
2-. :eHuest a woman5s &e#mission to smo7e, i.e., ?,o you min* if I smo7eF?
2. %a##y a woman5s &ac7ages, suitcases, +ags, etc.
23. ,on5t ?7iss an* tell.? ,isc#etion, hono# an* integ#ity a#e of &a#amount im&o#tance in *evelo&ing an* maintaining
you# #e&utation as a gentleman. ,etails of you# love life shoul* #emain &#ivate. Simila#ly, if a colleague has too
much to *#in7 at a &a#ty, +e *isc#eet. Neve# +#ea7 a confi*ence an* *on5t &a#tici&ate in un7in* gossi&.
2'. Inte##u&t &olitely. If you must inte##u&t someone who is s&ea7ing, +e su#e to say something such as, ?e>cuse
me? o# ?I +eg you# &a#*on.? "hese *ays, inte##u&ting othe#s la#gely goes a+out unnotice* in ou# society, an* yet no
one li7es to +e inte##u&te* o# socially *ominate*. @Actually, a ?wa#ning sign? that someone you5#e *ealing with coul*
+e non$integ#ous is this ten*ency to always inte##u&t othe#s while s&ea7ing. A highly o&inionate* an* *eci*e*ly
non$integ#ous an* 5unclassy5 television show, "he 1iew, is well$7nown fo# this Ri.e., intellectual an* conve#sational
ana#chySA.
26. 4#actice goo* etiHuette. Being cou#teous an* #es&ectful e>ten*s to how you han*le you# o#al an* w#itten
communications. Lette#s an* voice$mail messages shoul* show that you a#e well$manne#e*, cha#ming, an*
&#ofessional. In a**ition, &#actice e$mail NetiHuette an* cell &hone etiHuette. @)se s&ell chec7, etc.A
!0. ,on5t give unsolicite* a*vice, unless a &e#son is in some 7in* of se#ious *ange# o# unless you a#e a teache#
an* it is e>&ecte* of you.
!1. Be a g#acious guest. "han7 the host at a social o# +usiness function. At a com&any &a#ty, always see7 out an*
than7 the most senio# management in atten*ance, &lus you# own +oss an* the &a#ty o#gani/e#s.
!2. 4olitely e>cuse you#self f#om gossi& o# conve#sations that a#e Bu*gmental o# +ase* on 5mo#al su&e#io#ity5.
!!. %ough with consi*e#ation. If you5#e ove#come +y a fit of coughing o# snee/ing, e>cuse you#self @i.e., ?2o#give
me?A as you leave the *inne# ta+le o# meeting. .hen othe#s cough o# snee/e, a sim&le ?Bless you? will ce#tainly +e
a&&#eciate*.
!(. 4ay the +ill *isc#eetly. .hen you invite someone fo# *inne# o# *#in7s, acce&t the +ill *isc#eetly. .hen you5#e the
guest, you may offe# to &ay you# sha#e o# to +uy the wine +ut it is im&olite to a#gue a+out who will &ay the ta+ o# to
?ma7e a +ig *eal a+out it.?
!-. Maintain eye contact using the .itness$ga/e with whomeve# you a#e s&ea7ing with. @,on5t scan a#oun* the
#oom o# loo7 at othe#s while having a *iscussion. "#y to 7ee& most of you# focus on one$&e#son$at$a$time unless
you a#e a**#essing a g#ou& of &eo&le.A
!. %#eate memo#a+le int#o*uctions fo# &eo&le +y telling them mo#e than each othe#s names. ?Cohn, I5* li7e you to
meet ,avi* 2#omage, he5s an e>cellent cheese$ma7e#, +y the way. Samuel, this is Michael Blac7. He #ecently
#etu#ne* f#om 2#ance whe#e he wo#7e* as a Blac7smith.? Many &eo&le have *ifficulty #emem+e#ing names, an* will
a&&#eciate you# thoughtful manne#s if you say ?Samantha, you #emem+e# %ynthia, *on5t youF?
!3. ,o not s&ea7 with foo* in you# mouth, fo# o+vious #easons. Also, chew gum when you a#e alone, +ut not in f#ont
of a la*y o# in &olite com&any.
!'. .hen *ining with othe#s, *on5t #each ove#G &olitely as7 someone to &ass the +#ea*.
!6. .hen someone *#o&s something, &ic7 it u& an* han* it +ac7 to them, whethe# it5s a glove, a file fol*e# o# a
twenty$*olla# +ill. @Ma7e su#e you +en* at the 7nees, not f#om the waist.A
(0. .al7 +esi*e a la*y on the stai#s, +ut not +ehin* he#, fo# o+vious #easons.
(1. .al7 on the outsi*e of a si*ewal7. "his allows you# woman to +e fa#the# f#om the t#affic.
(2. Sit *own while &eeing, unless it is a &u+lic #est#oom, to avoi* ?s&#aying it all ove# the &lace.? If you *on5t have a
choice, g#a+ a han*ful of toilet &a&e# an* clean it u&. 8ven if no one is watching you. 2u#the#mo#e, 7ee& a watchful
eye on male guests who ?s&#ay? you# toilet wheneve# they come ove#. It is a sign that they lac7 consi*e#ation fo#
othe#s, an* those who lac7 consi*e#ation fo# othe#s a#e non$integ#ous mo#e often than not.
One way to hel& you#self to #emem+e# all of the a+ove is to visuali/e eve#y now an* again that the woman @o#
womenA in you# com&any is &#egnant. It then ma7es &e#fect sense to t#eat he# with #eve#ence, humility, se#vice, an*
co#*iality. All women a#e at least &otential mothe#s. A visuali/ation such as this #esults in the ego ma7ing many
inte#nal changes that may even go unnotice*, such as little +o*y language o# manne#ism twea7s an* even whole
+elief system changes on the unconscious level. "his techniHue also hel&s the ego to lea#n that women come f#om
,ivinity, as o&&ose* to Bust seeing women as ?hot chic7s.?
.ith these 7in*s of +ehavio#al &atte#ns, along with the intention to se#ve an* &#otect women an* to love them
uncon*itionally, a *ee& inne# confi*ence soon shines fo#th. It is unmista7a+le. It is fa# +eyon* the &#i*e$+ase*
confi*ence that is so ty&ical in ou# society in that it is +ase* on humility an* g#atitu*e fo# the gift of women an*
the#efo#e life itself. It is the #oc7$soli* confi*ence of the S&i#itual Self, which is f#ee f#om &ostu#ing, 5&uffing u&5, o#
any mau*lin *is&lay.
As the a+ove a#e inco#&o#ate* into one5s #outine, life as a ?.omani/e#? then +ecomes almost ?too easy.?
"8LL .OM8N 8YA%"LJ .HA" JO) .AN" 2:OM "H8M
As &#i*e is g#a*ually #e&lace* +y humility an* selflessness, it significantly lessens all of the lowe# emotions such as
guilt, shame, wo##y, an* so on. As the negative emotions an* associate* thoughts a#e t#anscen*e*, the sim&licity
of ?.omani/ing? then #eveals itself. It is *iscove#e* that nothing that is outsi*e one5s self was, no# eve# will +e,
nee*e*. Social t#ic7s, att#action techniHues, &ic7u& lines, cleve# escalation moves, memo#i/e* #outines, an* all the
#est of it a#e foun* to have +een nothing mo#e than &#i*e$an*$&a#anoia$+ase* *ist#actions f#om you# t#ue authentic
natu#e.
Integ#ous 4ic7u& is +ase* on the sim&licity of telling women what you want f#om them, without hesitation. "he
maBo#ity of Huestions #ega#*ing ?.hat shoul* I sayF? an* ?.hat shoul* I *oF? a#e usually Bust *ist#actions f#om the
sim&le "#uth. Mo#eove#, +ecause they a#e +ase* on 5causality5 an* the seven *ea*ly sins @g#ee*, &#i*e, fea#, ange#,
lust, etc.A instea* of u&on Oneness9Love, se#ious 7a#mic conseHuences can occu# f#om following the Huestiona+le
&athways availa+le online. A sta#tling amount of ?community teachings? ve#y naively stem f#om social &a#anoia,
*efensiveness, an* the *esi#e to cont#ol women fo# the &u#&oses of lust as well as the social vali*ation issues of
the 5inne# teenage#5, i.e., the nee* fo# &#oving one5s *esi#a+ility, which stems f#om the ego5s sec#et *esi#e to +elieve
that it alone is <o*.
In lea#ning to #e&lace the *esi#e to &#ove one5s *esi#a+ility with the innocence of selfless se#vice an* Beingness, all
Huestions #ega#*ing ?how? to +ehave an* ?what? to say *isa&&ea# fo#eve#. .ith the 5&#actice5 of Beingness, &ic7ing
u& women is as sim&le as +#eathing +ecause the#e is no *esi#e to succee* no# is the#e an ave#sion to failu#e o#
#eBection. @Inasmuch as you a#e al#ea*y One with Allness an* the#efo#e with all women, Boy #e&laces fea#.A .hat
&#eviously seeme* li7e a highly com&le> an* confusing ?&ic7u& lines? wo#l* is then seen fo# what it is. "#uth is
sim&le an* immune to attac7 o# the nee* fo# Bustifications. Nothing is #eHui#e*G the#e is nothing to lea#n, an* yet
the#e is much to unlea#n. "he t#ue sec#et of success is to +e as o#*ina#y an* no#mal as &ossi+le.
"o wal7 ove# to a &#etty gi#l while in a state of innocence an* &eace an* sim&ly say 5Hi5 is the Highe# .ay +ecause
5Hi5 is f#ee f#om mani&ulation an* the #esulting unconscious guilt, as well as the nee* to e>&en* the co&ious
amounts of life ene#gy #eHui#e* to Bustify one5s use of cleve# social techniHues in o#*e# to lessen this inne# guilt. As
soon as a man st#ays f#om the sim&le an* innocent &ath, he is hea*e* in the *i#ection of inne# hell, not heaven.
2#om the &osition of +eing a gentleman who #eve#es, #es&ects, se#ves, an* &#otects women @f#ee f#om *esi#e an*
without con*itionsA, the #esulting lessening of guilt is so significant that it soon +ecomes &ossi+le to wal7 u& to
women an* ?close the *eal? ve#y, ve#y #a&i*ly. Inasmuch as the#e a#e no mo#e Huestions #ega#*ing ?how? to s&ea7
o# ?what? to say, one is then ca&a+le of seeing the "#uth. "he#e a#e no techniHues. "he#e is only Love. "he#efo#e,
?Hi... Rlong &auseS... Have *inne# with me tonight? Rallow no#mal hesitation f#om the womanS ?Have *inne# with me
tonight? can +e stunningly successful with fun*amentally integ#ous women who have the a+ility to a&&#eciate
fo#th#ight honesty as well as states of 4#esence o# Bliss @an* the#e a#e manyA.
28A: :8SI,)ALS
One of the g#eatest sou#ces of social hesitation9an>iety9fea# actually has to *o with the fact that #oughly half the
&o&ulation in Ame#ica a#e non$integ#ous @the figu#e is '-D wo#l*wi*e, +ut only a+out -0D in well$*evelo&e*
count#ies such as Aust#alia, %ana*a, etc.A an* they a#e the ones who #e&#esent the &#o+lem, while the integ#ous
&o&ulace #e&#esent the solution.
It is the#efo#e enti#ely no#mal to still feel uncomfo#ta+le, as the non$integ#ous a#e lite#ally 100D negative at all times
@even while smilingA, an* they a#e not ca&a+le of com&#ehen*ing even the most +asic of s&i#itual t#uths @such as
?,o unto othe#s what you woul* have them *o unto you?A. "hey a#e an eno#meous ene#gy *#ain on all of life, an*
society is so use* to *ealing with them that it often fo#gets, fo# e>am&le, that the only #eason it ta7es seve#al hou#s
Bust to get on an ai#&lane is +ecause we have to go th#ough so many secu#ity chec7s *ue to the non$integ#ous
segments of the &o&ulation. If eve#yone we#e integ#ous, laws, cou#ts, &olice, &#isons, etc. woul* not even +e
nee*e*.
Non$integ#ity #ea*s an* *oes nothing, while integ#ity #ea*s an* &uts into &#actice what it is lea#ning as soon as
&ossi+le +ecause integ#ity values life. "hat sai*, many *evote* #ea*e#s have #e&o#te* that they a#e waiting until the
*ay when they will feel no fea# o# hesitation whatsoeve# +efo#e &utting these mate#ials into &#actice an*
a&&#oaching women. .hile it is commen*a+le to want to get ?inne# game? +efo#e going out an* #is7ing +eing a
socially clumsy +u#*en to othe#s, it isn5t li7ely that all fea# an* hesitation will *isa&&ea#, an* one #eason fo# that is
the &#esence of non$integ#ous &e#sons a#e often intuite* via the sola#$&le>us an*9o# hea#t cha7#a. It ta7es a lot of
e>&e#ience as well as a ve#y high state of consciousness to +e a+le to *isce#n whethe# o# not one5s fea# is actually
one5s own fea# ve#sus that of othe#s. Sometimes the sola#$&le>us, etc., will 5fla#e u&5 as a wa#ning sign that
something o# someone shoul* +e avoi*e*. Sometimes fea# an* hesitation a#e #eally Bust an intuition a+out
someone, o# the envi#onment itself. @It is not &ossi+le to +e &eaceful in most 5clu+s5, as humility #eveals.A
H)MO: IS "H8 ?%:I"I%AL 2A%"O:?
Jou# sense of humo# is im&o#tant. It isn5t +ecause you must use humo# to ?cause? women to want you at all. Humo#
is im&o#tant sim&ly +ecause it is humo#. If the woman wants you o# not +ecomes immate#ial +ecause you5#e +usy
giggling an* laughing all the time at the silliness of life. It is *ifficult to fea# a woman5s Bu*gmentalism when you
#eali/e that Bu*gments themselves a#e #i*iculously funny +ecause they a#e all enti#ely fallacious. "he Allness of
you# Life +ecomes a &a#ty, an* it *oesn5t matte# who shows u& o# gets na7e* o# not.
.ithout the automatic a+ility to gene#ate an almost constant an* unen*ing flow of humo#ous Bo7es, I *on5t see how
anyone coul* +ecome ve#y goo* at .omani/ing, o# even living a halfway *ecent life fo# that matte#. It is im&o#tant
to #eali/e that all of the things I5ve sha#e* in this &#og#am a#e su##oun*e* +y humo# when e>ecute* in the #eal
wo#l*. @I5m a ve#y se#ious w#ite#, +ut in &e#son, Bo7es a#e coming out of this mouth much of the time.A
.al7ing ove# to a woman while +eing o&enly stunne*$stu&i*$an*$silent was ve#y ca#efully em&hasi/e* +ecause of
its im&o#tance fo# +#ea7ing *own na#cissistic &#i*e an* o&ening to Love, +ut actually, that is only the s&ice. "he
main cou#se is humo#.
"he st#uctu#e of humo# was sha#e* in a &#evious a#ticle. "he sim&le act of ta7ing note of this st#uctu#e ove# an*
ove# again, each an* eve#y single time a Bo7e is ma*e @e.g., f#om a f#ien*, on television, online, etc.A will
*#amatically inc#ease you# a+ility to s&ontaneously gene#ate some of the funniest Bo7es without effo#t.
2'. I Love My Stu&i* Little Life
Let5s +egin to*ay5s lesson with a Huestion that was &oste* on ou# fo#ums f#om a .omani/e #ea*e#K
NNNO)8S"IONNNN
.ent to college with this gi#l, ha* a &#etty +ig c#ush on he#, felt li7e it might +e #eci&#ocate* a little +it, +ut *i*n5t feel
li7e a shiny enough man$+a#+ie to #eally ma7e a move with he#.
@But then of cou#se I saw the schmuc7s she en*e* u& *ating, as was li7e, 5:eallyF5A
So we5ve chatte* online a little +it, an* we set u& to *o a 4ilates class with he# as my inst#ucto#.
IntentionsK I am A%")ALLJ inte#este* in 4ilates. My inne# 4)A was li7e, 5No man she5s gonna +e lea*ing the
whole inte#action, she5s gonna +e Janging Jou, *ee& an* ha#* in the ass. +a* f#ame. "hen I was li7e, whateve#,
4)A *u*e, I am secu#e in the si/e of my +alls, etc. I have genuine things to gain f#om this encounte#.
So I got the#e a little ea#ly, an* I5m on *ay 2 of .omani/e so I s&ent some time getting in the 4e#i&he#al 1ision
s&ace. I #ing the +ell, she o&ens the *oo#, loo7s ama/ingG he# whole Au#a is ve#y alive. .e chat a little +it, I mention
I5ve Bust +#o7en u& with my <2, she mentions she5s Bust +#o7e u& with he# B2, he5s li7e ?How am I gonna live
without you?, I say something, @Inc#e*i+ly wise an* &#ofoun* I5m su#e... whe#e is that 5finge#$in$the$eye emoticonFFA
I 7ee& going +ac7 to the silence, Bust let he# tal7, let he# tal7, she5s a woman, she loves tal7ing, an* so su#e enough
she *i*.
"his is so tough fo# me, the#e5s always a million things I want to say... Sometimes funny, sometimes Bust shit that5s
+een on my min* that I want to 7now if they can #elate, etc... It5s a challenge fo# me to +e li7e, 5yeah, that5s a goo*
thought. go +ac7 to slee& now +#ain5
.e got to wo#7, she5s a fantastic teache#. "his is wei#*, I felt so comfo#ta+le at times it was almost li7e +eing with a
unive#sal mothe#, I felt ve#y wom+$li7e in a way. "he inne# 4)A was li7e, AAHH S8" "H8 2:AM8 S8" "H8
2:AM8 SAJ SOM8"HIN< %O%=J But I was li7e, 5nah, I5m Bust going to #egiste# it an* ac7nowle*ge the#e5s
nothing I can *o to change it #ight now.5 She &ut he# han*s on me, that felt #eally goo*, the#e was a lot of #a&&o#t,
she was li7e, 5you5#e st#ong5 which ma*e me all tingly. .e *i* some +utt wo#7, she ma*e some Bo7e a+out se>y
+utts o# something. @he#s is ama/ing B".A
.e got to the en*, gave he# a +ottle of #e* wine @this class was f#eeA an* ma*e &lans to *o it again, I sai*, 5how5s
[-0 a class5 she was li7e, 5that5* +e g#eat5. .e hugge* goo* twice, then left, I wishe* he# luc7 on a Bo+ inte#view
she was going on. "hen I lost the &e#i&he#al vision on the way out an* half$t#i&&e* on a ste&.
I *unno if anyone has any a*vice o# anything, I woul* love to hea# some. I want to 7iss he# #eal +a*. She5s a g#eat
4ilates teache#, an acHuaintance, an* &#o+a+ly has some &#etty se>y f#ien*sG +ut I5m *efinitely feeling he#, she
seems evolve*, almost intimi*atingly so. I guess I am a little +it li7e, 5you nee* to ta7e a*vantage of the momentum
an* escalate.5 I #emem+e# Ste&hane5s #ef#ame, Most guys a#e af#ai* to escalate, I5m af#ai* NO" toI
I guess I5m af#ai* of +oth, lol.
I was thin7ing, I can give he# some Ai7i*o lessons afte# ou# &ilates class, o# acting o# something, that coul* give me
a mo#e Jang conte>t fo# he# to see me in which coul* +e goo*.
"han7s fo# #ea*ing guys I feel so +lesse* to +e +ac7 on the 2o#umsII
PPP%OMM8N"SK
I see a lot of unnecessa#y focus @&a#anoia evenA on +eing yang, setting the f#ame, lea*ing, &ola#ity, etc., an* all
that is well an* fine +ut the#e is a much highe# an* easie# way which stems f#om a totally *iffe#ent &a#a*igm, i.e.,
you have to let go of thin7ing of you#self as the 5cause5 of a woman5s #es&onses @of eithe# he# ave#sion o# att#action
to youA, an* instea* of wo##ying a+out that stuff, Bust ?wo##y? a+out +eing +latantly wo#shi&ful of the feminine. @8ven
if she thin7s you a#e wea7 an* hates you# guts, at least you will 7now you we#e non$mani&ulative an* thus
57a#mically clean5.A
2o# instance, one thing you mentione* a+out it +eing ?he# class? an* ?he#? f#ame, the#e is a fea# that if you follow
the woman5s lea* you coul* en* u& #eve#ting +ac7 into a stu&i*$&ussy$afc$wuss all ove# again @i.e., that you will
age$#eg#ess +ac7 to +eing a chil*A. Actually though, I #ecommen* +eing the chil* again, only this time, +eing a
conscious chil*. It is ve#y f#eeing to *iscove# that you can safely let go of all of the stuff you lea#ne* f#om 4)A5s an*
actually Bust *o the &ola# o&&osite of what they all teach +y o&enly wo#shi&ing the woman, *oing whateve# she
says, etc. Only this time, you *on5t *o it out of the &osition of +eing the +egga#, +ut you *o it f#om the &osition of
+eing the man who Bust enBoys giving a woman anything she wants @as long as it ma7es he# ha&&y, you a#e ha&&yA.
Jou *on5t *o this to 5cause5 att#action, +ut you *o it +ecause it is a Boyful thing to *o. Jou sta#t +ehaving li7e the cute
sol*ie# who sna&s to attention an* says, ?Jes ma5amI? wheneve# she has a #eHuest. .omen fin* this inc#e*i+ly
healing an* funny, an* it is a much highe# way than having to say cleve# things o# teasing them a+out thei# choice
of hai#style. "his way, you +ecome the se#vant instea* of the 5&laye#5. 4a#a*o>ically, it ea#ns so much t#ust that
?yang lea*ing? +ecomes much easie# an* mo#e natu#al, with much less #esistance than eve# +efo#e. Se#vice is,
afte# all, the ultimate lea*e#shi& +ecause it is s&i#itual lea*e#shi& an* not Bust secula# o# wo#l*ly lea*e#shi&. In this
way, you ins&i#e #athe# than &e#sua*e.
Of cou#se, a ce#tain amount of hesitation to let go an* ma7e you#self this o&en an* vulne#a+le to women is going to
come u& an* this is only natu#al. Acco#*ing to all of the causality$+ase* teachings #ega#*ing yin9yang &ola#ity, what
I am suggesting coul* seem li7e a *ange#ous &#o&osition. @"o the ego, that is.A "he ego hates to give u& illusions of
cont#ol. "he ?what ifF? Huestions coul* a#ise. ?.hat if she thin7s I5m wea7F .hat if my lac7 of yang lea*e#shi&
5causes5 he# att#action an* #es&ect to 5*ie5F?
Att#action is one thing, an* love is Huite anothe#. "hey stem f#om two com&letely *iffe#ent &a#a*igms. Att#action is
linea#, an* love is non$linea#. Analogously, att#action is li7e wate# an* love is li7e ai#. "hey a#e com&letely *iffe#ent
elements. Att#action is +ase* on the &hysical, an* love is s&i#itual. By aligning with &u#e love, the goo* news is that
you won5t lose out on att#action, +ut will &a#a*o>ically sta#t e>&e#iencing mo#e of it.
Acco#*ing to the teachings which stem f#om the att#action &a#a*igm, my suggestion to ?o&enly wo#shi&? women
soun*s wea7, &assive, an* li7e ?ass 7issing.? "hat is +ecause the att#action &a#a*igm fee*s off of
vali*ation9a&&#oval. @Hy&oc#itically, it also goes out of its way to say an* *o things in o#*e# to ?&#ove? to women that
it *oesn5t #eHui#e he# vali*ation9a&&#oval.A Also, the &o&ula#i/e* att#action$&ic7u& &a#a*igm is secula# @i.e., it *oes
not ac7nowle*ge a woman5s soul o# s&i#itA an*, secula# &ositions stem f#om the ego which sec#etly views itself as
<o*. "hus, when the secula# ego *oes &ic7u&, it wants to +e wo#shi&e* as a <o*. It the#efo#e sees the wo#shi& of
the feminine as wea7 an* un*esi#a+le.
If you watch &o#n, fo# e>am&le, it is easy to see how men want to +e wo#shi&e* +y the women. 4o#n +lowBo+s, fo#
instance, have an unmentione* theme that tu#ns the man into a <o* who is wo#shi&e* +y a slave$woman. "he#e is
nothing w#ong with a goo* +lowBo+, +ut the t#ic7 is to wo#shi& the woman while she is 5going *own5 on you, as
o&&ose* to 7ic7ing +ac7 with an e>&ectant o# 5entitle*5 attitu*e. In this way, you wo#shi& the woman while she is
wo#shi&ing you. .hen wo#shi& is eHual on +oth si*es, se> then has a healing effect. @On the othe# han*, 5&o#no
style5 selfish se> foste#s unconscious guilt in the man an* shame in the woman, even if they a&&ea# to +e enBoying
themselves.A
"H8 BLA"AN" .O:SHI4 O2 "H8 ,I1IN8 28MININ8
2#om the &a#a*igm of s&i#itual love, one *oes not #eally wo#shi& any se&a#ate female &e#sons. "he i*ea he#e is to
o&enly wo#shi& <o* via the &athway of wo#shi&ing a woman.
"he sou#ce of he# e>istence is <o*, the#efo#e, it is not only &e#fectly safe to o&enly wo#shi& he#, +ut it is wise to *o
so +ecause it sanctifies you# &ic7u& an* *ating. One is not #eally wo#shi&ing the female5s ego, +ut is wo#shi&ing he#
S&i#it. "hus, to wo#shi& one woman, one simultaneously wo#shi&s all women. @Cesus sai* that those who fee* the
&oo# an* hung#y a#e also fee*ing ?Him.?A
"his attitu*e is *eci*e*ly Huite *iffe#ent f#om giving away one5s &owe# to the female ego an* su+mitting to he#
cont#ol o# *ominance. It is actually &ossi+le to igno#e the woman5s ego while also wo#shi&ing he# S&i#it. "o cite a
#ecent e>am&le, to*ay I ha* to get some new Beans tailo#e*, an* the woman who g#eete* me at the *#y$cleane#s
was not only a##ogant +ut actually somewhat nasty towa#*s me. 8ve#ything was a ?&#o+lem?, an* finally, she
actually sai* the wo#*s, ?Jou +ette# +elieve me when I say that I am *oing you a huge favo#.? In *is+elief, I han*e*
he# the money, too7 my #ecei&t, an* was tol* to come +ac7 in two *ays when my Beans woul* +e #ea*y.
"he ego, of cou#se, wante* to 5Buice5 this e>&e#ience +y ma7ing en*less commenta#y a+out he#. "he moment the
thought, ?.hat an a##ogant +...? +egan to su#face, I su##en*e#e* the thought an* as7e* <o*, ?How may I se#ve
he#F? I allowe* this Huestion to *ominate my thoughts instea*, an* t#uste* that some way to se#ve he# woul* come
to this min* intuitively @i.e., via the fiel* of consciousnessA.
I then went to +uy some foo*, an* notice* a nice half$+ottle of &#etty *ecent wine on one of the shelves, so I
*eci*e* to +uy it fo# the *#y$cleaning woman. .hen I gave it to he#, I wasn5t ?#ewa#*ing +a* +ehavio#? +ut me#ely
ac7nowle*ging that +eyon* he# 5nasty5 ego, the#e is mo#e to he# than Bust &sychological negativity. She acce&te*
my gift ve#y g#aciously, an* I5m Huite ce#tain I saw a tea# fo#ming +ehin* he# eye. "he Boy on he# face was &#etty
o+vious, an* we +oth sha#e* a ?timeless moment? togethe#.
"o the secula# @i.e., s&i#itually voi*A view&oint, I was me#ely ?7issing he# ass? o# t#ying to see7 he# a&&#oval, +ut in
the 8yes of <o*, I showe* he# uncon*itional love. It is not &ossi+le to love othe#s when the only view&oint is that of
5my ego5 ve#sus 5he# ego5. Love comes out of a highe# &a#a*igm, that of s&i#itual Oneness. "he Self in me is the
ve#y same Self in he#. @"o the ego, )ncon*itional Love is +oth stu&i* an* ?unfai#? +ecause clea#ly, many a#e seen
as not ?*ese#ving? to +e love*.A
S88= ONLJ "H8 A44:O1AL O2 "H8 LO:, <O, ALMI<H"J
It isn5t so much that you want to ?sto& ca#ing? a+out what the female ego thin7s of you, +ut #athe#, the *ecision is
instea* to sim&ly sta#t ca#ing mo#e a+out what <o* ?thin7s of you.? Simila#ly, *on5t ?ta7e the lea*? with women
+ecause you want to 5cause5 att#action, +ut #athe#, ta7e the lea* only to se#ve an* &#otect women +ecause <o* is
watching an* the fate of you# 8te#nal soul #ests on how you han*le you#self with one of ?His women.?
Instea* of wo##ying a+out whethe# o# not +eing vulne#a+le an* o&enly #eve#ing women may o# may not #esult in
att#action, &e#ha&s a useful techniHue to comfo#t the ?inne# 4)A? @who is &e#&etually &a#anoi* that he will +e
viewe* as a wea7 wussyA is to sim&ly ma7e Bo7es an* e>agge#ations #ight in f#ont of women #ega#*ing you# selfless
se#vice attitu*e. @"his is fun to *o an* actually, it *oes f#eHuently #esult in massive att#action.A As in, lite#ally saying
things to women such as, ?How may I se#ve you, ma5amF? an* ?Jes, ma5amI? @along with a ?sna& to attention? style
of +o*y languageA an* even, ?I5ll *o anything you as7 of me? o# ?I5m com&letely at you# +ec7 an* call this evening.
.hateve# you nee*I? It is ve#y Boyful to *iscove# that this ?&layful se#vant? attitu*e is enough to ma7e @integ#ousA
women swoon.
"o o&enly love9wo#shi& a woman E even if she wal7s off in *isgust E soun*s totally unacce&ta+le to the unt#aine*
ego, who +elieves women must ea#n an* *ese#ve you# love an* &#ove themselves +efo#e you shoul* o&en u& an*
love them without #ese#vation. "his is +ecause the ego confuses *esi#e with love. )nai*e*, it cannot +e ma*e to
un*e#stan* that it is &ossi+le to *isli7e a woman an* yet ve#y much still love he# uncon*itionally.
S8L2$MAIN"8NAN%8, S8L2$MO"I1A"ION, AN, S8L2$IM4:O18M8N"
"he ave#age &e#son uses the stic7 @an* not the ca##otA when it comes to *ealing with themselves. Sec#etly, the ego
+elieves that the seven *ea*ly sins @i.e., the lowe#, non$integ#ous ene#gy fiel*s such as shame, guilt, ange#, lust,
&#i*e, etc.A a#e necessa#y fo# su#vival. Nothing coul* +e fu#the# f#om the t#uth.
It isn5t necessa#y to feel shame when a mista7e has +een ma*e, no# is it necessa#y to feel guilty. @"hose two
emotions a#e not nee*e* +ecause in t#uth, <o* *oes not *es&ise no# *oes ?He? con*emn the ego. <o* isn5t a
&e#son, <o* is Life itself.A "he ave#age &e#son +elieves that guilt an* shame a#e necessa#y tools fo# self$motivation
@as well as the motivation of othe#sA. Most &eo&le +elieve that when they *o a ?goo*? thing, they shoul* feel &#ou*,
+ut when they *o something ?+a*? they shoul* feel guilty an* ashame*.
Simila#ly, the ave#age &e#son Huite lite#ally wo#shi&s fea#, naively +elieving they a#e alive to*ay +ecause of thei#
fea#s an* that without them, they woul* +ecome ca#eless, stu&i*, immo#al, o# en* u& getting 7ille*. Howeve#, it isn5t
necessa#y to +e af#ai* of a was& o# sna7e at all. One can fea#lessly avoi* sna7es out of the love of one5s life
instea*. @"his one sim&le *istinction has esca&e* the *isce#nment of 66.D of man7in*.A
LO18 AS A 5MO"I1A"O:5
A ve#y accu#ate an* *ecisive way to tell if someone is integ#ous o# not, o# to get a sense of how ?awa7e? o#
?aslee&? they a#e is to sim&ly o+se#ve how much they value an* love thei# own life. "he &#o+lem with the style of
self$motivation which stems f#om the negative emotions is sim&ly that negativity itself *oesn5t have the &owe# that is
#eHui#e* fo# t#ue self$motivation an* es&ecially love. Only love has the &owe# to heal an* motivate @es&ecially when
it comes to getting one5s love life han*le*A.
I have often as7e* &a#ents what is the most *ifficult thing a+out +eing a &a#ent, an* the maBo#ity of them have
state* that it is the &#oclivity to wo##y. )&on fu#the# ins&ection an* gentle investigative &#o**ing, it seems that most
&a#ents st#ongly +elieve that they must constantly wo##y in o#*e# to &#otect thei# chil*#en, an* that thei# chil*#en a#e
alive to*ay +ecause they have wo##ie* a+out them. It *oes not seem to occu# to the ave#age &a#ent that wo##y can
+e #e&lace* +y love an* that in #eality, love has much mo#e &owe# than fea# *oes.
Love can +e *e&en*e* on an* t#uste* a+solutely @in all conte>ts9situations without e>ce&tionA. As a motivato#, it is a
well$7nown &sychological fact that &eo&le will *o mo#e to 7ee& someone5s love an* #es&ect than they eve# will to
&#event themselves f#om +eing &unishe* o# #eBecte*. "he sol*ie# who 7ills out of hate is fa# less *ange#ous than is
the sol*ie# who 7ills out of love fo# self, family, count#y, an* Life. In &laying &ool fo# money, a well$7nown tactic is to
ma7e you# o&&onent ang#y @+y insulting his &#i*eA +efo#e a match.
N8<A"I1I"J ,O8S NO" IN%:8AS8 ON85S %HAN%8S 2O: S):1I1AL AN, .O:L,LJ S)%%8SS
All of life values an* loves its own life, inclu*ing even se#ial 7ille#s, chil* &o#nog#a&he#s, an* fascist *ictato#s.
Although the non$integ#ous clea#ly *o not value no# love the lives of othe#s, they *o value an* love thei# own lives.
.hen it comes to .omani/ing, mo#e than any othe# facto#, it is the lowe# emotions @i.e., negative statesA which
stan* in the way an* &#eclu*e success.
8ven the shy man who wishes he ha* no shyness sec#etly +elieves that it is necessa#y to +e shy in o#*e# to
su#vive.
4e#ha&s the +elief coul* +e state* as, ?If I wasn5t shy, then I woul* lose cont#ol ove# myself an* en* u& saying an*
*oing ho##ific things wheneve# I sociali/e. "he shyness 7ee&s me in line.? In "#uth, howeve#, shyness9an>iety is
actually the ve#y mechanism +y which the shy &e#son says an* *oes ?stu&i* things.?
.hen the lowe# emotions fa*e away, they a#e #e&lace* +y s&i#itual love which then ta7es ove# the sociali/ing
&#ocess.
8ven the most *e&#ave* ego, on some small level, values an* loves its own life. "o g#ow an* matu#e, it is +est to
sta#t with whateve# amount of love is al#ea*y &#esent an* wo#7 f#om the#e. "he ego feels shame +ecause *ee&
*own, it loves an* wants to &#otect its own life. It Bust *oesn5t #eali/e that shame is the w#ong self$motivato#. .hen
the ego feels guilty, an* on some level it is +ecause it wants to lea#n f#om &ast mista7es. It *oesn5t occu# to most
ego5s that guilt isn5t what will sto& it f#om #e&eating &ast mista7es, an* actually, mo#e often than not, guilt is what
7ee&s one stuc7 in &#o+lematic +ehavio# &atte#ns. Instea* of feeling guilty a+out the &ast, it is +ette# to
ac7nowle*ge, ?I love my life? than to say, ?I hate my self.? Love contains much mo#e &owe# than self$to#tu#e *oes.
2o# healing guilt, the sim&le tool is to say, ?I #eg#et what I *i*. It seeme* li7e a goo* i*ea at the time. I will avoi* this
in the futu#e +ecause I love my life.?
Simila#ly, most ego5s +elieve that *esi#e, c#aving, g#ee*, an* lust a#e necessa#y fo# su#vival an* success in that
without these ene#gies the ego naively assumes that it woul* sin7 *own into a&athy, sloth, *e&#ession, an* even
*eath. "he fea# is that without lust, fo# e>am&le, a man woul* not ca#e a+out women no# have se> with them an*
&#oc#eate. "he ego *oesn5t un*e#stan* no# t#ust that love is sufficient. In #eality, the ene#gy of love is the same
ene#gy that we call Life. It isn5t necessa#y to lust afte# no# c#ave women in o#*e# to fin* the motivation to enBoy
se>ual #elations with them at all. Life natu#ally goes to Life. Love natu#ally values an* a&&#eciates women of its
own. "he motivation which comes out of Love is infinitely mo#e &owe#ful @an* yet gentleA than the motivation that
comes f#om *esi#e9g#ee*9lust9want9c#ave. It is +ette# to say to one5s self, ?<o*, I love women, than7 youI? #athe#
than to say, ?"hose chic7s a#e so hot, I want them now.?
"he ave#age ego also sec#etly +elieves that &#i*e is necessa#y fo# su#vival an* that without &#i*e, it woul* inevita+ly
fall *own into shame. "he ego often confuses humility with humiliation. It fea#s that if it we#e to #elinHuish &#i*e, it
woul* no longe# have a #eason to live an* woul* conseHuently lose all motivation to su#vive an* mate. It also fea#s
that without &#i*e, females woul* eithe# not notice it, o# wo#se, they woul* fin* it #e&ulsive. It is easy to see why
&#i*e can +e such a *ifficult thing to let go of. In a state of &anic, the ego fea#fully as7s, ?.ithout na#cissistic self$
love, who woul* then love an* ta7e ca#e of meF?
It is easy to see why the ego has a ha#* time wo#shi&ing women, se#ving selflessly, an* +eing socially vulne#a+le.
Befo#e a&&#oaching any woman, it wants to sto& an* &#e&a#e something cleve# that it can use to 5cause5 he#
att#action. "he a*vice to a&&#oach women with an 5em&ty min*5 as the state of ,ivine Stu&i*ity is a sca#y
&#o&osition fo# even the most intellectually a*vance* of ego5s. Sec#etly, the ego +elieves that it must cling to social
&a#anoia an* ?coc7y funny? *efensiveness in o#*e# to &#otect itself f#om +eing mani&ulate*, #i*icule*, o# ta7en
a*vantage of. In chil*$li7e &a#anoia, the ego thin7s, ?If I am o&en, non$mani&ulative, since#e, genuine, 100D
honest, wa#m, em&athic, an* o&enly love women, they will thin7 I am wea7, &assive, effeminate, etc., an* su#ely
#eBect meI? Mo#eove#, the ego as7s, ?If I am nice, 7in*, since#e, wa#m, an* in the state of ,ivine Stu&i*ity, how will I
&#otect myself f#om +eing mani&ulate*, conne*, ta7en a*vantage of, #i*icule*, *is#es&ecte*, o# cont#olle*F? "he
t#uthful an* ve#y accu#ate answe# that can +e t#uste* an* #elie* u&on a+solutely is sim&ly that when you love Life
itself, you *on5t allow othe#s to ha#m you o# you# love* ones @e.g., nothing is mo#e vicious an* *ange#ous an*
*ea*ly than a female &#otecting he# young f#om woul*$+e attac7e#sA. "hus, )ncon*itional Love ve#y much contains
the ene#gy of the S&i#itual .a##io#. It is fa# f#om &assive o# wea7.
"hose who *ee&ly love thei# own lives a#e wise enough to che#ish an* &#otect it. Jou# life is a <ift f#om <o*, an*
that5s no small thing. Love is much mo#e &owe#ful than &#i*eful *efensiveness o# social &a#anoia, which actually a#e
the ve#y states +y which othe#s can easily cont#ol you. "he fea#ful &e#son is all too easily &e#sua*e* +y fea#. "he
guilty a#e easy to cont#ol via the th#eat of inc#ease* guilt. @8ve#y non$integ#ous *ictato# an* me*ia &e#son 7nows
that.A
4:A%"I%)M
"o*ay5s suggestion is to #eflect u&on whe#e you still ten* to get ?stuc7? emotionally. .hat emotions is you# ego still
a**icte* toF Shame an* guiltF Ange#, o# LustF 4#i*eF La/inessF
.ith &atience an* love, the ego nee*s to gently +e taught that it is &e#fectly safe to su##en*e# these emotionalities
to <o*. 2o# e>am&le, if guilt shoul* a#ise fo# any #eason, notice how the ego +elieves the guilt is a necessa#y
teaching9lea#ning an* motivational tool. It wo##ies that if it we#e to let go of guilt that it might actually +ecome
unca#ing o# even *own#ight evil. 2o#give the ego fo# +eing a naive ego, an* gently say the wo#*s, ?I love my life. I
won5t *o that again +ecause I love my life.?
Let5s loo7 at ange#. .hen ange# a#ises, o# when f#ust#ation a#ises, #eali/e the ego +elieves those states a#e
necessa#y fo# su#viving in this wo#l*. Sec#etly, it thin7s that without ange# o# f#ust#ation, you woul* neve# +othe# to
*efen* you# life o# to ?ma7e things ha&&en? an* that you woul* Bust en* u& +ecoming a 5*oo#mat5 fo# &eo&le to use
all the time. It +elieves it must get ang#y in o#*e# to su#vive. It +elieves it must swell u& with f#ust#ation to get you to
?&low th#ough? life5s +a##ie#s. In #eality, Love is mo#e effective than ange# o# f#ust#ation. "#y the sim&le affi#mation, ?I
love my lifeI? @In fu#ious ange#, it can +e funny an* healing to sc#eam those ve#y wo#*s.A
Simila#ly, when lust9*esi#e a#ises, t#y the affi#mation, ?My &u#&ose is to love women uncon*itionally an* to &#otect
them.? O#, when &#i*e, *efensiveness, o# *enial a#ise, gently #emin* you#self that you love you# life @instea* of
feeling guilty a+out +eing na#cissisticA. 4e#ha&s a useful &#aye# fo# &#i*e is, ?I love my life. "han7 you, Oh Lo#*, fo#
the <ift of Life itself.? Anothe# useful ti& fo# *ealing with 4#i*e is to sto& giving 5unsolicite* a*vice5 to othe#s, as well
as to sto& all con*enscen*ing voice tones within the min*.
.hen ANJ negative emotion a#ises to*ay, fo#give the ego an* sim&ly #eaffi#m that you Love you# Life. "he
suggestion is to sta#t using this sim&le affi#mation as often as you *esi#e to. It is +ette# to use the ca##ot an* not the
stic7. "hat is, it5s mo#e effective to #einfo#ce the &ositive than it is to #einfo#ce the negative. It isn5t necessa#y fo# the
&a#ent to stay u& all night wo##ying a+out thei# chil*#en. Love is sufficient, an* actually is seve#al times mo#e
&owe#ful an* effective in the long #un. It is one thing to not ta7e *#ugs ?+ecause my fathe# will 7ic7 my ass?, +ut it is
Huite anothe# to avoi* *#ugs ?+ecause my fathe# loves me, an* my *oing *#ugs coul* ve#y &ossi+ly hu#t him.?
%hil*#en will *o mo#e to 57ee&5 a &a#ent5s #es&ect, t#ust, an* love than they will to avoi* ma7ing a &a#ent wo##ie* o#
ang#y. @In fact, &a#ental wo##y an* ange# f#eHuently &ola#i/es the chil* into a #e+ellious state.A
A44:OA%HIN< .OM8N
"he man who motivates himself to a&&#oach a woman ?+ecause if I *on5t tal7 to he#, it means I5m a stu&i* &ussy
an* I will hate myself fo# not a&&#oaching he#? is not li7ely going to &#o*uce a &owe#fully att#active state that has a
healing effect on he# Bust +y ga/ing into he# eyes... It is +est to a&&#oach a woman out of love, innocence, &eace,
an* #eve#ence. Only love has the &owe# to heal shyness, an>iety, lust, &a#anoia, an* macho *efensiveness. Befo#e
a&&#oaching a woman, it may +e f#uitful to &ause fo# a moment an* say, ?"he#e a#e many thousan*s of men who
have ove#come this fea#? an* inten* to ta& into the ene#gy fiel* of those who have gone +efo#e you. Many
thousan*s of men have al#ea*y let thei# &#i*e *ie fo# women an* each has left a 5t#ac75 o# 5&athway5 as a &e#manent
im&#int within the fiel* of human consciousness. Jou can call u&on thei# ene#gy of cou#age an* valo# wheneve# you
nee* it. Jou can even &ictu#e someone you love an* #es&ect, someone whom you 7now has conHue#e* this fea#.
O#, you can Bust &ictu#e the many thousan*s @&e#ha&s millionsA of men who have successfully ?&lowe* th#ough?
thei# fea#s +ecause they love women. "h#oughout all of time men have +een ?&lowing th#ough? fea# +ecause they
love thei# lives. By hol*ing them in min*, you a#e calling u&on a ve#y high ene#gy fiel* that will hel& you to lea#n the
well$7nown lesson in ;en, which is to, ?.al7 st#aight ahea* no matte# whatG all fea# is illusion.?
It is +est to a&&#oach women +ecause you love you# life, an* +ecause you love an* value Life itself #athe# than fo#
any othe# #eason. "o wo#shi& a woman is to simultaneously wo#shi& Life itself an* the#efo#e <o*.
?I LO18 MJ LI28I?
Again, the intention, motive, o# #eason to a&&#oach a woman is +ecause you love you# life. As you focus on this
s&ecific intentionality, it will ten* to lessen social &a#anoia an* *efensiveness, as well as any of you# #emaning
?man guilt? @i.e., the guilt that you have fo# +eing a man with testoste#one, inne# #age, se>ual *esi#e, lustful
thoughts, etc.A.
"he suggestion is to #e&eat this as often as you can to*ay.
O#, you can @gentlyA tell you#self, ?I5m going to go tal7 to that woman #ight now +ecause I love my life.?
"his intentionality will significantly heal the ?inne# c#a&? which then #esults in an automatic an* s&onteneous Coie *e
viv#eI @Nothing can ma7e you mo#e att#activeIA
Jou might notice the ego may a#ise an* #esist the statement. "he #esi*uals of +oth conscious an* unconscious
5victimhoo* &#og#amming5 a#e +oun* to float u& into you# awa#eness. "he ego loves to as7, ?But what a+out YF?
"he ego is a ?*ou+ting "homas.? It nee*s to lea#n that it can t#ust love, an* actually, the fact is, love is the only
thing in life that can +e t#uste* a+solutely. Li7e the fiel* of g#avity, the ene#gy fiel* we call ?love? neve# #ests.
2o#give the ?annoying little animal?, it is Bust t#ying to su#vive. =now that it is &e#fectly safe to igno#e the ego5s
com&laints an* wo##ies +y choosing to focus on ?I love my life? instea*. As the ego lea#ns that love can +e t#uste*
an* counte* u&on fo# su#vival, it will let go of #esistance in *ue time. Humans a#e not alive +ecause of the ego5s
*esi#es an* fea#s at allI Humans a#e alive +ecause of thei# S&i#it. "he ego cannot su#vive without the S&i#it, fo#
when S&i#it leaves the +o*y, the +o*y instantly falls to the g#oun*.
Jou# t#ue Self is actually you# Silent S&i#it, an* the voice in you# hea* is Bust the ego, which is a &#o*uct of the
envi#onment. "o effectively .omani/e, it is im&e#ative to t#ain the ego to say, ?I love my life.?
.hen a man loves his life, he *evelo&s a s&a#7 in his eye that is unmista7a+le. He +ecomes ca&a+le of a
&#olonge*, o&en, gentle visual ga/e which women often fin* totally ?i##esisti+le.? Integ#ous att#action an* love a#e
not the #esult of &ic7u& lines, cleve# wo#*s, #i&&e* a+*ominal muscles, o# s&ecific actions at all. "he only #eal way
to ?fin* love? in this wo#l* is to +ecome i*entifie* with love itself. :eceiving love f#om othe#s is nice, +ut nothing
+eats sha#ing t#ue uncon*itional love with the wo#l*.
If you we#e to as7 most men why it is they want to a&&#oach women an* t#y to 5&ic7 them u&5, you might see that
they a#e incong#uent an* even *efensive o# ashame*. "he min*5s of most men a#e fille* with Bustifications,
e>cuses, an* *efensive #ationali/ations. "he ave#age min* is also fille* with inne# conflict #ega#*ing such matte#s.
"his is why it is im&e#ative to 8ne#gi/e the intention, ?I want to *ate women +ecause I love my life.? It is innocent
an* the#efo#e e>t#emely &owe#ful. Because this intention is aligne* with the )ltimate "#uth, it5s effect on ALL of the
min*5s unconscious ?issues? @conflicts, negative emotions, fallacious +elief systems, an* even +#ain &hysiologyA will
li7ely +e su#&#ising.
"hat which has the most &owe# is what not only influences that which is less &owe#ful, +ut often com&letely
ove#ta7es. By analogy, fi#e is mo#e &owe#ful than woo*.
"he ?fi#e? of I Love My Life is much mo#e &owe#ful than the ?woo*? of +elief systems, fea#s, an* ego &#og#amming.
If you5#e still not ?#ea*y? to a&&#oach women, *on5t wo##y a+out it. Cust a&&ly these tools an* let <o* wo##y a+out
you# &#og#ess. Jou *on5t have to a&&#oach women Bust yet, an* fo#give you#self fo# not +eing ?#ea*y? to sta#t *oing
so imme*iately @if that is the caseA. .ith the a&&lication of these sim&le tools, it5ll sta#t ha&&ening s&ontaneously in
*ue time. One *ay you5ll +e stan*ing in line at the g#oce#y sto#e, an* ne>t thing you 7now, the woman ne>t to you in
line will +e smiling an* laughing at you# *um+ Bo7es... giving you he# cell num+e#... an* actually answe#ing the
tele&hone when you call.
"o ac7nowle*ge that *ee& *own, you #eally *o ?Love Jou# Stu&i* Little Life? is not *iffe#ent f#om wo#shi&ing the
feminine an* wo#shi&ing <o*G eve#ything is One.
26. Se>ual 8scalation
Se>ual escalation, o# ?getting &hysical?, is a *ifficult su+Bect to tac7le. .hat ma7es it *ifficult is that fo# most &eo&le,
a ce#tain amount of guilt an* shame will +e lu#7ing in the +ac7g#oun*. "his ma7es se> feel as though it is a ?heavy?
su+Bect instea* of a light an* &layful one.
IN"8N"IONALI"J IS "H8 %):8
2o#tunately, the solution to this is ve#y sim&le an* easy to a&&lyG that is, all you nee* to *o is to +ecome awa#e of
you# intention, an* once you5#e awa#e of it, Bust ?u&g#a*e? you# intention +y choosing to align it with uncon*itional
love @which has the &owe# to heal wo##y, shame, guilt, hesitation, *esi#e, lust, etc.A +y ma7ing the c#itical *iscove#y
that all human +ehavio# is, in t#uth, motivate* +y inne# love. In the *iscove#y that you# *ee&est intention is, an*
always has +een, to feel Love an* Oneness with othe#s, a g#eat sigh of #elief occu#s. "his then #esults in mo#e Light
@i.e., consciousnessA which illuminates the &athway of ?se>ual escalation? an* #eveals Bust how sim&le an* easy it
is to ?ma7e a move? o# ?ma7e things ha&&en? while on a *ate with a &#etty gi#l.
I often say that &ic7u& an* escalation a#e ?easie# than +#eathing?, an* yet this is clea#ly not the e>&e#ience of most
men who a#e usually ove#whelme* +y the &#os&ect of having to wal7 ove# to the &#etty gi#l an* somehow manage
to get he# into +e*. .hy is it so easy fo# some men, an* yet nea#ly im&ossi+le fo# the maBo#ity of menF "he answe#
is sim&leK you must come to te#ms with the intention +ehin* you# &ic7u& an* escalation, othe#wise you Bust feel
guilty, wo##ie*, an* ?stuc7.? An* women say, ?Ouuu, he5s c#ee&y, yuc7I?
S8Y)AL H8SI"A"ION AN, 28A:
"o humans, se> has often felt li7e a ?se#ious matte#?, so much so that the maBo#ity of families a#e not even allowe*
to *iscuss it @even to this *ayA. 2#om the st#ict view&oint calle* :eality, howeve#, se> is &layful an* fun an* Boyful. It
is not$at$all se#ious. Se> goes han*$in$han* with u&#oa#ious laughte#. "hey a#e li7e wine an* cheese. If a cou&le
isn5t ?c#ac7ing u& laughing? *u#ing se>, they a#e *oing it all w#ongG they lac7 innocence an* the#efo#e t#ue intimacy.
Stu*ents often #e&o#t that they ten* to ?f#ee/e? when they a#e on a *ate an* things a#e going well an* it is clea#ly
the time fo# &hysical ?&etting? o# 7issing. As a #ule of thum+, when tal7ing to a woman an* he# att#action an* love
a#e o+viously &#esent, it is then &e#fectly O= to +egin touching he# in the same way that it is &e#fectly O= to &et a
&u##ing 7itty @even though you Bust met the 7itty th#ee minutes agoA. "he i*ea is to escalate via the &athway of
innocence @an* not lustA. As men, we ten* to +e Huite logical an* *ee& *own, we 7now that escalating on a *ate
shoul* +e sim&le. Jou Bust 7iss the gi#l, o# cu**le u& to he# in some way, it is so sim&leI But, the min* loves to ta7e
the sim&le an* tu#n it into a com&le> o#*eal. "he human min* is fille* with inne# +u#eauc#acy.
An* of cou#se, asi*e f#om innocence, humo# is also what allows you to ?move in Huic7ly.? "hin7 of the guy sitting in
the movie theate# who fa7e$yawns while st#etching his a#ms out an* ?su+tly? &laces one of his a#m a#oun* the
woman. Although this image is su&&ose* to #e&#esent what you a#e not su&&ose* to *o, in my e>&e#ience, it is
actually the ve#y +est thing to *o +ecause it is so ?cheesy.? Jou see, a nice escalation ti& is to ma7e fun of the male
ego while you escalate, an* so#t of ?#ole &lay? that cheesy guy f#om those 16-05s movies. "his ma7es escalation
funny, innocent, an* easy, an* it is ve#y ?*isa#ming? +ecause the woman sees that you a#e a hum+le$yet$ho#ny
guy, in a manne# of s&ea7ing.
"he ego lac7s innocence +ecause it is *esigne* to +e selfish fo# the &u#&ose of animal su#vival. "he ego is also
humo#less. "he#efo#e, to ove#come the ego, innocence an* humo# &lay a maBo# #ole.
B8LI82S
Jou can Huic7ly get to the co#e of a se>ual issue such as the hesitation to escalate &hysically @?f#ee/ing u&?A using
a sim&le &sychological tool that is *esigne* to +#ing u& unconscious +eliefs. I will the#efo#e as7 you a Huestion, an*
you a#e to +lu#t out the ve#y fi#st thing that comes to min* without hesitation, Bust +lu#t it out, it5s O= even if it is ugly,
stu&i*, o# immo#al an* *own#ight evil. @.e5ll Huic7ly *eal with the afte#math, no wo##ies.A 4lease sc#oll *own, an* as
soon as you see the Huestion in +ol*, let any answe# come to min* s&ontaneously........................
.HA" IS "H8 ":)8 4):4OS8 O2 S8YF
Ouic7, answe# honestly. .hat was the ve#y fi#st thing that &o&&e* into you# min*F
.hateve# it was, it *oesn5t matte#. It is Bust ego &#og#amming, an* it can easily +e #e&lace* +y sim&ly *eci*ing you
want to ?u&*ate? it.
Many will have answe#e* things li7eK
1. ?"he &u#&ose of se> is to ma7e +a+ies @&#oc#eationA.? He#e the &#o+lem with one5s escalation +ecomes o+vious,
in that it isn5t a&&#o&#iate to ma7e +a+ies on the fi#st *ate. So, we can see why hesitation ?f#ee/e u&s? a#e still
&#esent. Mo#eove#, the +elief that se> is only a&&#o&#iate fo# &#oc#eation lea*s to the feeling that all othe# fo#ms of
se> a#e immo#al. Jou see, this is a secula# @i.e., s&i#itually em&tyA view&oint which stems f#om the ego. Secula#
intentionality then #esults in guilt, shame, as well as *esi#e an* hesitation.
2. Some will have +lu#te* out something unhealthy such as ?Se> is *i#ty an* g#ossI? o# even ?Se> is #a&eI? o#
something which is clea#ly not aligne* with s&i#itual "#uth an* :eality. In such cases, the#e coul* +e se>ual t#auma,
which can ta7e many fo#ms an* va#iations. 8ven those who have watche* &o#nog#a&hy often have a ce#tain
amount of @actual, lite#al, factualIA 4ost "#aumatic St#ess ,iso#*e# *ue to having +een e>&ose* to g#a&hic an*
?ha#*co#e? se>uality scenes @i.e., lac7ing in love an* innocenceA. "he essence of &o#nog#a&hy is #a&e. All &o#n is
essentially #a&e *ue to the sim&le fact that the women in &o#n a#e most often mentally ill, high on *#ugsG many a#e
+eing emotionally +lac7maile*G many a#e e>&e#iencing a maBo# life c#isis an* *es&e#ately nee* money, etc., an* a#e
thus #i**le* with inne# conflicts, emotional &ain, an* se#ious s&i#itual agony. .hile the animal &a#t of he# is saying
yes, the highe# emotional an* s&i#itual as&ects of he# a#e saying no fo# a g#eat va#iety of #easons. 4o#n is the#efo#e
*eci*e*ly #a&e$on$came#a, an* the men who watch it a#e filling themselves with unconscious guilt, shame, an*
even 4"S,, as well as +ecoming &#og#amme* to hate an* *es&ise women. 4o#n also c#eates a&&#oach an>iety in
that the ego +ecomes motivate* to a&&#oach women +y hol*ing &o#no$se> image#y in min*. One &#o+lem with this
is that it is too much of a Bum& to t#y to go f#om saying ?Hello? to then having the woman shout ?2uc7 me ha#*e# an*
cum on my face.? It is too much of a Bum&, #esulting in the min* feeling ove#whelme* an* as7ing, ?How the hell am I
su&&ose* to ma7e this ha&&enF Ah, let5s Bust fo#get it.? It is too la#ge of a chun7 to go f#om ?Hello? to ?Let5s fuc7?,
that woul* +e li7e a&&lying fo# a Bo+ at Mc,onal*5s when you# goal is to +ecome a +illionai#e. @I *o ?feel so##y? fo#
to*ay5s Inte#net &o#n gene#ation, +ecause the ave#age male ego sim&ly cannot hel& +ut to watch that stuff an* get
&#og#amme* +y it. "he ego sim&ly can5t hel& itself. It +ecomes an innocent victim, an* without a significant *eg#ee
of alignment with s&i#itual t#uth, the#e is no way out, fo# the only way to heal an a**iction is to #each the level of
)ncon*itional Love, at which &oint it is then im&ossi+le to +e a**icte* to anything.A
!. Some will have notice* the ve#y fi#st thought which came to min*, an* since it was not in alignment with what is
consi*e#e* acce&ta+le, they will have #e&#esse* it an* come u& with something ?healthy? to &ut in its &lace such as
?Se> is Bust won*e#ful.? "hus, it is im&o#tant to #ecall that the ego is not 5you5 an* that it is actually an im&e#sonal
&a#t of the envi#onment. @"he sou#ce of you# e>istence is <o* an* nothing else.A )nfo#tunately, such &eo&le cannot
+e hel&e* *ue to the ina+ility o# unwillingness to *evelo& self$honesty. ,enial is stu++o#n an* ve#y &o&ula#.
,O NO" ,848N, ON JO): "HIN=IN<N8SS "O SA18 JO)
It isn5t necessa#y to analy/e the min* o# t#y to fin* su&&ose* 5causes5, an* it isn5t necessa#y no# *esi#a+le to as7
Huestions such as, ?.hy *i* I thin7 thisF? o# ?.he#e *oes this come f#omF? at all. "he &u#&ose of this techniHue
was me#ely to *emonst#ate that the #eason ?f#ee/e u&s? occu# when it is time to ?&et? o# 7iss a woman has to *o
with one5s 7a#mic inhe#itance @i.e., ?the unconscious min*?A which is im&e#sonal. 8ve#y+o*y is Bust a victim of the
ego, it is only a matte# of *eg#ee.
"he ave#age min* inclu*es a sto#ehouse of unconscious +eliefs an* &#og#ams, many of which have +een
?*ownloa*e*? into the min* f#om family, teache#s, #eligious u&+#inging, an* es&ecially the me*ia @5soa& o&e#as5, "1
comme#cials, Hollywoo* films, &o#nog#a&hy, maga/ines, se>ually e>&licit an* violent vi*eo games, et al.A. In
to*ay5s wo#l*, the me*ia often *eli+e#ately mani&ulate man5s most +asic animal wea7nesses @i.e., testoste#one an*
lustA, so much so that in to*ay5s wo#l* it is not &ossi+le to tu#n on a television o# even *#ive *own the highway
without +eing +om+a#*e* with multi&le fo#ms of se>ual se*uction an* &#i*e. "em&tation a+oun*s, as i*ea<asms5
stu*ents who have gone th#ough the 1olume 2ou# mate#ials an* t#ie* going on a !0$*ay ?no lust challenge? have
*iscove#e*.
"his sto#ehouse of unconscious +eliefs an* the #esulting inne# conflicts #ega#*ing escalation @?&etting? an* 7issingA
an* se>uality is what accounts fo# hesitation, unconscious guilt, ?f#ee/ing u&?, etc., an* the &#os&ect of having to
+ecome awa#e of each an* eve#y single t#aumatic memo#y, +elief, o&inion, &#og#am, an* socially con*itione*
#es&onse as well as eve#y associate* emotionality seems li7e an ove#whelmingly *aunting tas7. "he min* is li7e
the Inte#net which inclu*es millions of we+sites. How *o we clean u& the messF
Instea* of *igging u& each an* eve#y unhealthy +elief system, which woul* &#o+a+ly ta7e yea#s of &sychoanalysis
as well as time an* money, we will +e *iscussing some s&i#itual tools that can +e use* to ?cut th#ough? all of these
unhealthy +eliefs an* &#og#ams. "he #eason sim&le s&i#itual tools a#e so &owe#ful is that they come out of a much
highe# ene#gy fiel* than the +o*y, emotions, an* min*. Sim&ly state*, what which has the g#eatest &owe#,
*ominates. By analogy, the sun has so much &owe# that wate# eva&o#ates in its &#esence. "his is one #eason why
this .omani/e &#og#am has +een a !0$*ay e%ou#se, it is +ecause the min* o&e#ates via &atte#n #ecognition. It
the#efo#e lea#ns &#ima#ily via #e&etitionG the +est way to lea#n something is to have it #e&eate* ove# an* ove# again
in *iffe#ent ways. "hus, to me#ely #ea* s&i#itual info#mation with *aily consistency E es&ecially if it is the same +asic
info#mation &#esente* in many *iffe#ent ways E al#ea*y *oes much of the ha#* wo#7 fo# you. @A#e you the same
&e#son you we#e 26 *ays agoF I *ou+t it.A One of the g#eatest s&i#itual tools is #e&etition.
S8%)LA: IN"8N"IONALI"J AN, C),<M8N"ALISM
Man5s &#o+lems #ega#*ing se>uality a#ise *ue to seeing se> as +eing me#ely a secula#$&hysical event #un +y animal
*esi#e an* lust. Since the min* is *ualistic, se>ual *esi#e is then s&lit into feelings of +oth att#action an* ave#sion
#ega#*ing se>. 2u#the#mo#e, as the ene#gy of *esi#e stems f#om fo#ce an* not t#ue &owe#, when a man feels se>ual
*esi#e it ty&ically c#eates a feeling of ave#sion in the woman @es&ecially when she *etects that he is *esi#ous of he#
in what she consi*e#s to +e ?too ea#ly? in the inte#action R?"oo much, too soon?SA. Out of this ene#gy fiel* a#ises a
host of mo#alistic, &u#itanical, an* othe# highly Bu*gmental view&oints #ega#*ing se>uality such as feeling 5su&e#io#5
to se>, o# *eg#a*ing it as +eing 5Bust animal lust5, o# seeing se> as somehow 5w#ong5 an* thus feeling guilty a+out
wanting it, an* ashame* a+out e>&e#iencing it.
It is im&o#tant to ta7e the sc#i&tu#e, ?Cu*gment is Mine, sayeth the Lo#*? ve#y se#iously. It means that the human
min* is f#an7ly too ?stu&i*? to +e a+le to &ass Bu*gment. One woul* have to see the enti#e movie of human life
th#oughout all of time to +e a+le to &ass Bu*gment on anything. Only <o* has access to the enti#e movie. Humans
only have access to e>t#emely small f#agmentsG you cannot watch th#ee secon*s of a movie an* w#ite a c#itical
#eview a+out it. An* yet eve#yone thin7s they have the a+ility to &ass Bu*gment on themselves, on othe#s, an*
es&ecially on se>. @Humans a#e in*ee* that ?stu&i*.?A
Inasmuch as <o* is Allness, <o* the#efo#e c#eate* se>uality an*, that which was c#eate* +y the Almighty Lo#* can
ha#*ly +e 5immo#al5 o# 5+a*5 o# 5*i#ty5. It isn5t se> that is the &#o+lem, +ut the way the human min* @which is #un +y
*esi#eA views se>. "he &#o+lem with *esi#e itself is that it #esults in f#ust#ation *ue to the *ualistic se&a#ation
+etween a man an* a woman. In the state of *esi#e9want9lust, the#e is a feeling of lac7 +ecause the#e is a 5me5 that
wants a 5he#5. ,esi#e sees life th#ough a lens of se&a#ateness, +ut Integ#ity intuits that life is an Integ#ate*
wholeness. On an even highe# level, Love sees life as &u#e Oneness. 2#om the &oint of view of Oneness, the#e is
nothing an* no one to *esi#e +ecause one al#ea*y feels com&lete an* total within themselves. @.hen loo7ing into a
woman5s eyes, you sta#t to see that it is you# own Self loo7ing #ight +ac7 at you.A
L8""IN< "H8 ,8SI:8$8N8:<J ?,:AIN O)"? O2 JO): SOLA:$4L8Y)S
Although many +elieve that it is *esi#e9want that +#ings se> into thei# lives, Bust the o&&osite is the t#uth. ,esi#e
c#eates insecu#ity an* nee*iness, which then +ehave li7e a #e&ellent.
One techniHue fo# healing *esi#e is to sim&ly let those feelings ?#un out? via the sola#$&le>us.
.hen *esi#e a#ises, Bust allow it to leave th#ough you# sola#$&le>us +y focusing on the feelings unswe#vingly until
they &ass. :e&eat this &#oce*u#e each an* eve#y single time you# sola#$&le>us fla#es u& with *esi#e. A state of
&eaceful +liss will then g#a*ually ta7e its &lace. @"y&ically, it will +e felt all ove# the +o*y, an* even +eyon* the +o*y
as a non$local 8ve#ywhe#eness.A Because of the high li7elihoo* that se>ual *esi#e has +een #esiste*, *enie*,
f#ust#ate*, an* #e&#esse*, the#e coul* +e &e#io*s whe#e the sola#$&le>us 5fla#es u&5 fo# hou#s, *ays, o# even wee7s
at a time. :est assu#e* that this is no#mal an* is a sign of &#og#ess, not failu#e.
"his &#actice is not fo# the faint of hea#t. It can get ove#whelming, at times, I assu#e you. I once felt li7e I was *ying
fo# nea#ly one full month. It felt as though I we#e +eing hel* u&si*e *own f#om a cliff o# somethingG the sola#$&le>us
feelings we#e that awful. But, I &#aye*, an* I ?wal7e* st#aight ahea* no matte# what? with this techniHue, I foun*
that I coul* still teach, w#ite, s&ea7, an* live a *ecent life with these awful feelings, an* to*ay my sola#$&le>us is
6'D silent an* I usually feel li7e I am high on M,MA most of the time with ve#y little e>ce&tions. Mo#eove#, when
*oing the .itness$ga/e, I fin* that I have +ecome significantly One with my &e#i&he#al vision, as though ?I? am the
conte>t. "his is *ifficult to e>&lain, +ut it was well wo#th the tem&o#a#y *iscomfo#ts. No &#ice is too high to &ay when
it comes to e>&e#iencing the 4#esence of <o*.
4eo&le as7, ?How *i* you get you# sola#$&le>us feelings to come u&F I fin* that I *o not feel much of anything, as if
I am num+.?
In my case, the *esi#e to #each a high state has +een ve#y st#ong fo# ove# 20 yea#s. S&i#ituality nee*s to +ecome a
lifestyle an* not Bust a ?ho++y.? One thing I *i* was to &#ay fo# the en* of suffe#ing. I &#aye* fo# this intensely, an*
*eman*e* assistance. I *i* not ho&e fo# assistance o# as7, I f#an7ly *eman*e* the en* of suffe#ing. 4eo&le a#e
af#ai* to *eman* things f#om <o*, as they still naively thin7 <o* is a sa*istic &a#ent. .ith t#ue s&i#ituality, howeve#,
wea7 +eggingness is not sufficient. One must *eman* an* e>&ect assistance. .hen you &#ay li7e this, all of you#
#emaining ?non$love? will +e #eveale* to you. Jou# sola#$&le>us will ?go nuts? fo# a while, +ut if you t#uly want Love,
Bust su##en*e# the sola#$&le>us feelings @i.e., *on5t #esist them, let them flowA an* +e willing to live th#ough the
agonies. "hey a#e tem&o#a#y, they will &ass, an* wheneve# you feel li7e you nee* to tal7 to someone ou# fo#um is
o&en an* availa+le 2( hou#s a *ay, seven *ays a wee7. @Jou5#e not alone.A
As *esi#e #uns out an* is #e&lace* +y +liss an* &eace, one comes to #eali/e that se> has ve#y little to *o with +eing
an 5action5 o# 5*oingness5 o# 5&e#fo#mance5 at all.
2#om a highe# level of consciousness, se> +ecomes a way of Being with someone, as o&&ose* to something that
we we#e su&&ose* to 5*o5 to each othe#. Now we sim&ly A#e with each othe# as a unifie* Oneness. .hat we 5*o5 o#
5*on5t *o5 +ecomes immate#ial +ecause the#e is no mo#e feeling of lac7 o# se&a#ation. 8ven on the ve#y fi#st *ate,
the#e is a feeling of Oneness with the woman, an* it is this feeling that se#ves as ou# gui*e fo# 7nowing what to 5*o5.
"hus, 5when5 to 7iss he#, ?&et? he#, touch he#, an* 5how5 to 5*o5 all of these things comes a+out s&ontaneously as a
#esult of having t#anscen*e* the *ualistically se&a#ate* 5&e#fo#mance5 &a#a*igm an* having +ecome one with
)ncon*itional Love. @As you loo7 into the woman5s eyes, you see that it is you# own consciousness +eing #eflecte*
+ac7 to you. "his then ma7es it im&ossi+le to feel ?shy? o# to +ehave with immatu#ity.A
ALI<NIN< .I"H S4I:I")AL IN"8N"IONALI"J
"he t#ue &u#&ose of se>uality is that it is an e>&#ession of )ncon*itional Love as Jin$Jang Oneness.
4e#ha&s the g#eatest ?+loc7? that is +eing e>&e#ience* +y the ?.omani/e? stu*ents who come f#om a va#iety of
5se*uction community5 +ac7g#oun*s is that they view &ic7u&, *ating, escalation, an* se>uality as a way of &#oving
to themselves an* to the wo#l* that they a#e *esi#a+le. "his is secula#, an* that is the &#o+lem. 2#om the view&oint
of secula# &#i*e, the a+ility to ?get he# into +e*? is seen as a life$o#$*eath, all$im&o#tant Olym&ic event, +ut f#om the
view&oint of s&i#itual love, it is seen as immate#ial *ue to the sim&le s&i#itual fact that we a#e al#ea*y One with all
women an* with each othe#. 2#om the view&oint of Oneness, the e>&e#iences calle* 5lac75, 5#eBection5, an* 5failu#e5
a#e not &ossi+le. 4ic7u& lines, cleve# #outines, an* othe# social mani&ulations a#e then no longe# necessa#y
+ecause the#e is nothing one nee*s o# wants f#om women. "o sim&ly Be with he# is al#ea*y fulfilling in an* of itself.
2#om this feeling of &eacefulness$+liss, escalation then ha&&ens s&ontaneously of its own when con*itions a#e
a&&#o&#iate. "he#e is no nee* to lea#n, thin7, 5*o5, 5get5, 5cause5, memo#i/e, o# mentally #ehea#se f#om the highe#
view&oint of )ncon*itional Love an* Jin$Jang Oneness. "hat woul* +e li7e the ocean t#ying to ?se*uce? itselfG
com&letely #i*iculous.
One way to heal one5s negative 7a#ma @?unconscious?, +eliefs, conflicts, etc.A is to consciously a&&ly a highe#
s&i#itual t#uth u&on the enti#e stac7. "he Swo#* of S&i#itual "#uth can ve#y easily cut th#ough the whole stac7 in *ue
time. 8ven if the#e a#e seve#al hun*#e* unconscious +eliefs in the +ac7 of one5s min* &#eclu*ing one5s a+ility to
confi*ently an* &eacefully escalate with women, the a&&lication of one s&i#itual t#uth is ca&a+le of ove#coming all
&#io# +elief systems +ecause t#uth is infinitely mo#e &owe#ful than lies, illusions, o&inions, *isto#tions, an* half$
t#uths.
A @st#ongA suggestion is to contem&late the &h#ase, ?"he t#ue &u#&ose @o# intentionA of se> is to e>&#ess
)ncon*itional Love? @O# ?Oneness?A. Because this statement is the "#uth, it is mo#e &owe#ful than all non$t#uth
within the min* an* the#efo#e has the &owe# to heal all of the conscious an* unconscious fea#s, guilt$t#i&s, an*
limiting +eliefs #ega#*ing se>uality. @8ven if you we#e #aise* +y guilt$#i**en %h#istians on the one han*, an* you
*evelo&e* a ha#*co#e &o#n a**iction on the othe#, the#e is ho&e fo# you yet.A
.hile out on a *ate, the t#ue &u#&ose of ?se>ual escalation? is to inc#ease the level of intimacy, o# ?into$me$see.? It
isn5t to ?get lai*?, o# ?cause att#action?, o# ?&#ove *esi#a+ility? at all. "he#efo#e, the#e is no nee* to hesitate o# feel
guilty a+out escalating, ?&etting?, 7issing, st#o7ing, etc., in the slightest. In #ecalling that the )ltimate Highe#
4u#&ose of escalation is to inc#ease the level of intimacy, this too has a ve#y healing effect on all hesitation o# guilt
#esi*uals. By aligning with the highest intentionality &ossi+le, the#e5s nothing to 5feel +a* a+out5 an* the#e is no
mo#e nee* to wo##y a+out ?#eBection.? @,o not Bust #ea* this a#ticle one time. 2o# a t#ue healing to occu#, this a#ticle
nee*s to +e stu*ie* an* &ut into consistent &#actice, i.e., constant #e&etitions a#e necessa#y, &#o+a+ly fo# a
minimum of thi#ty *ays.A
:8C8%"ION IS AN ILL)SION
.omen often #eBect non$integ#ous o# nee*y a*vances, an* yet they ve#y often also #eBect even Love itself. "he ego
intuits Love as its nemesis o# enemy +ecause Love is many times mo#e &owe#ful than the ego9min* an* it ten*s to
un*o its illusion that it is se&a#ate an* sove#ign. "his is what is at the co#e of most #esistance to t#uth, s&i#ituality,
love, an* <o*. "he ego is ve#y #eluctant E even militant E #ega#*ing the &#ese#vation of its illusion that I" is <o*.
As you align you#self with eve#$g#eate# *eg#ees of t#uth, &eace, an* love, eventually the#e is an inne# :eali/ation
that ?#eBection? was only a myth, a nightma#e, a &e#ce&tual illusion all along. It hu#ts to +e #eBecte* when you5#e
a&&#oaching a woman f#om *esi#e, lust, an* wantingness. It hu#ts to +e #eBecte* when you a#e t#ying to &#ove to
you#self an* othe#s that you a#e att#active. But in lea#ning to let go of those selfish motives, an* in su##en*e#ing to
selflessness @)ncon*itional LoveA, it sta#ts to *awn on you that it is not &ossi+le fo# anyone to #eBect t#uth,
innocence, an* love +ecause they a#e the im&e#sonal Hualities of Allness. It is not &ossi+le fo# All "hat Is @<o*A to
+e ?#eBecte*? o# ha#me* +y any ego5s.
Jou a#e One with women an* with All of Life. It is not &ossi+le fo# Oneness to ?#eBect? itself, in the same way the
s7y cannot ?get #i* of? a &iece of the s7y. "he ocean cannot 7ic7 wate# outsi*e of itself an* into oute# s&ace.
:eBection is only ma7e$+elieveG a nightma#e of the ego. "his +ecomes clea# as you# state #eaches highe# levels of
awa#eness. Jou can5t hel& +ut smile an* giggle all the time when &eo&le a#e tal7ing to you +ecause in this state,
you #eali/e that it is Jou tal7ing to Jou, an* the whole thing is #i*iculously funny. "his is &#ecisely when it +ecomes
O= to sta#t smiling all$the$time once again +ecause now you# smiles a#e genuine @an* not coming f#om social
an>ietyA.
"IM8L8SS AN, 8"8:NAL %ONS%IO)SN8SS
Once the se#iousness of negative unconscious +eliefs, &#og#amming, &a#anoia, hesitation, &#i*e, etc., clea#s out,
the utte# ?stu&i* sim&licity? of escalation then #eveals itself. 8ve#ything seems easy an* logical, an* not$at$all sca#y.
Jou want to 7iss the gi#lF So, you Bust 7iss he#. Jou want to stic7 you# han* u& he# shi#t an* see what she5s got
un*e# that +#aF Jou Bust *o it. 8ve#ything +ecomes easy, li7e a ?wal7 in the &a#7? so to s&ea7. "his is the +eauty of
#etu#ning to the innocence of the chil*. It ma7es eve#ything O= again. It clea#s out all of that se*uction, &o#n, etc.,
negative ene#gy.
Cesus sai* @&a#a&h#ase*A, ?Jou can5t get to Heaven unless you a#e as innocent as a chil*.? I woul*n5t a#gue with a
&owe#ful Being of Light such as Cesus %h#ist. If you5#e still watching &o#n an* Be#7in5 off to fantasies a+out th#ee
women *oing ass$to$mouth cumshots an* sla&&ing each othe# ac#oss the face, you# innocence is lost an* you
+ette# fin* it again as soon as &ossi+le. 4o#n is not ?ha#mless ente#tainment? li7e it seems. I feel so##y fo# to*ay5s
young men +ecause they have such easy access to the most g#a&hic &o#n, which is #eally li7e ?foo*? to the ego.
"he ego, unai*e*, sim&ly can5t hel& itself. "he tem&tation to watch se>y women *oing nasty things is too g#eat. No
ego coul* eve# #esist such a thing as &o#n. As I5ve sai*, it ta7es se#ious *e*ication to Huit that stuff. One has to t#uly
want love, a+ove an* +eyon* the see7ing of mun*ane an* s&i#itually em&ty &leasu#es.
I #eali/e it isn5t the most s&i#itually$co##ect thing to say, +ut I #eally *o ?feel so##y? fo# anyone who hasn5t
e>&e#ience* the t#uth of thei# own "imelessness. Many &eo&le have a +elief a+out <o*, +ut I am someone who has
e>&e#ience* the 4#esence of <o* Immanent. Beliefs a#e nice, +ut to =now <o* is something enti#ely *iffe#ent. An
e>&e#ience such as Sato#i, Sama*hi, ,ivine Love, etc., o# 57un*alini5 su#ges u& the s&ine that a#e nea#ly as
&owe#ful as that of an actual fi#e hose, o# ente#ing a state whe#e eve#ything seems to +e moving in slow motion an*
eve#ything is seen to +e ha&&ening s&ontaneously of its own, o# the#e have even +een states whe#e an actual Light
com&letely fills the #oom. I coul* go on an* on.
A few times, I e>&e#ience* 8cstacy9Bliss to such a *eg#ee that I coul* not move, an* woul* actually Bust lie *own
on the g#oun*, una+le to s&ea7, an* +a#ely even a+le to thin7. 8ven as a chil* I ha* e>&e#iences such as these
@+ut they we#e less intense as they a#e to*ayA. Having e>&e#ience* the t#uth of <o* as a &owe#ful inne# :evelation,
having e>&e#ience* myself as +eing at One with <o* on many occasions, an* even having seen an actual
incu#a+le *isease vanish @+ecause I tol* it to vanishA, I 7now fo# a fact that I am a "imeless an* 8te#nal Being. I
the#efo#e ?feel so##y? fo# anyone who hasn5t e>&e#ience* the t#uth of this fo# themselves +ecause they still have no
i*ea a+out how accounta+le they a#e to the )nive#se. I feel so##y fo# guys li7e Bill Maye# who o&enly hate an* +ash
#eligion, s&i#ituality, an* <o*. I es&ecially feel so##y fo# him +ecause he is clea#ly attem&ting to *#ag as many
&eo&le *own into hell with him as he &ossi+ly can. "he amount of negative 7a#ma a guy li7e Bill Maye# must have...
I *on5t even want to thin7 a+out that. If I even so much as hea# the name :icha#* ,aw7ins, I c#inge.
Having e>&e#ience* "#uth with a ca&itol " to such intensities, escalating with a woman is a Bo7e +ecause *ee&
*own I 7now that I am One with he#. )ntil that 7in* of #oc7$soli* inne# =nowingness is #eveale* to someone, it
ma7es sense why they woul* t#eat a &ic7u& o# a *ate o# a fi#st 7iss as if it we#e some 7in* of life$o#$*eath event.
"he ave#age human +eing is actually aslee& an* living in a nightma#e of se&a#ation an* loneliness an* *es&ai#. A
teache# that I loo7 u& to ve#y much, Maha#aB, &ut it e>t#emely well when he sai* @&a#a&h#ase*A ?Jou a#e having a
nightma#e an* thin7ing that you a#e *ying of thi#st. But all along, you a#e actually Bust lying comfo#ta+ly in you# +e*
an* the#e is a nice tall glass of wate# waiting the#e fo# you. .a7e u& an* have a si&.?
<etting a guy to see what is #ight in f#ont of his nose usually ta7es yea#s an* yea#s of &atient t#aining an* teaching
an* sha#ing +efo#e it finally ?clic7s? an* he can finally see that +eing with a woman is a Boy, not a nightma#e. "he
min* t#uly *oes #eHui#e constant #e&etitions of the same +asic &#inci&les +efo#e it finally ?clic7s.?
:84LA%8 ,8SI:8 .I"H 4:828:8N%8
"he way to easily escalate with women is to ?Bust *o it.? Let it come f#om a &lace of &#efe#ence, instea* of f#om
*esi#e. Jou woul* N&#efe#N it if the two of you we#e intimately em+#acing each othe#, +ut you *o not have to ?*esi#e?
o# ?nee*? o# ?want it too much.? It is Bust a sim&le &#efe#ence, that5s allI In this way, if she &ulls +ac7 an* *oesn5t
#es&on* well, you haven5t lost anything +ecause you haven5t wante* anything to +egin with.
.hen she &ulls away, Bust go, ?I woul* &#efe# it if we we#e hol*ing han*s, +ut if you *on5t want to hol* han*s with
me, I un*e#stan* com&letely. ,on5t wo##y a+out offen*ing me. I5m not fo# eve#yone.? Ma7e su#e she 7nows that you
a#e not u&set o# offen*e* o# humiliate*.
I li7e to a** Bo7es in the mi>, as in, ?I5m not u&set. I might commit suici*e late# on tonight, +ut it won5t +e you# fault.
No wo##ies.? O#, anothe# goo* Bo7e fo# han*ling ?#eBection? is to &#eten* li7e you5#e a chil* an* ang#ily stom& you#
feet on the g#oun* @li7e a 5tem&e# tant#um5A. In these ways, you ma7e fun of the human con*ition, you ma7e fun of
*esi#e, you ma7e Bo7es a+out &#i*e an* shame. In so *oing, you a#e then clea#ly moving +eyon* it all.
An* then, leave he# +e. Leave he# alone. ,on5t s&en* you# &#ecious life t#ying to ?sco#e? with a gi#l who *oesn5t
want you. As a gene#al #ule of thum+, when things *on5t go smoothly with a woman, when she *oesn5t ma7e you#
life easy, let he# go.
1ALI,A"ION @<:88,A 18:S)S %HIL,LI=8 INNO%8N%8
"he guys who ?suc7? at escalation an* intimacy all have one thing in commonK
"hey a#e t#ying to &#ove thei# att#activeness to themselves an* othe#s.
It is 4#i*e. "he nee*y man who chases afte# a woman who clea#ly isn5t into him is #eally Bust saying, ?.ho the fuc7
a#e you to not want to +e with NNNM8NNN, you fuc7ing +itchI? He then smiles to he# an* +ehaves &olitely, +ut
un*e#neath it all...
It is the ?nice guy? who &a#a*o>ically hates women *ee& *own an* +lames them fo# his own lac7 of success. "he
?ass 7isse#? is #eally Bust a wolf in shee&5s clothing. "hat is the t#ue meaning of that &h#ase. "hey a#e ?&e#fect? on
the outsi*e, an* utte#ly negative an* hateful on the insi*e. "hey thin7 they have +een victimi/e* +y women, an* yet
in #eality they a#e Bust victimi/e* +y thei# own ego5s.
8scalation +oils *own to letting go of the &#i*eful *esi#e to &#ove to one5s self, ?I am wo#thy, I am att#active, women
want me +ecause I am so s&ecial an* uniHue.? "hat is a secula#, s&i#itually$em&ty intentionality. It lac7s &owe#. In
letting it go, the innocence of the chil* then shines fo#th. %hil*#en have no *esi#e to +e seen as cool, smooth,
suave, s&ecial, uniHue, im&o#tant, att#active, se>y, etc., an* they *o not ha#+o# sec#et fantasies a+out +eing ?&ic7u&
a#tist of the yea#? o# M#. Big ,ic7 4o#n Sta#. A healthy, innocent chil* wal7s ove# an* says, ?%an we +e f#ien*sF
.anna &layF? an* if you say no, he Bust goes, ?O=, +yeI? an* fin*s someone else to &lay with. "his is the way to +e
with women, es&ecially when it comes to se>.
It can +e fun @an* ve#y f#eeingA to sta#t #ole$&laying that you5#e a chil* again, instea* of the wanna$+e ?cool? 4)A
#oc7 sta# who *oesn5t ca#e a+out any+o*y +ut himself. "he t#ic7 is to ca#e a+out &eo&le so much that when they
#eBect you, it actually ma7es you c#y. Jou c#y +ecause you love them. An* why a#e they #eBecting youF It *oesn5t
?#egiste#? that someone woul* #eBect you +ecause you a#e so innocent. It *oesn5t ma7e any sense to you when the
gi#l says, ?I have a +oyf#ien*? @an* you intuit that she5s lyingA. It ma7es no sense at all +ecause it is non$sense. It
leaves you feeling &u//le*, +ewil*e#e*, confuse*, an* hu#t. .hen non$love hu#ts you, it is not a sign of wea7ness
at all. It means you a#e halfway home al#ea*y. 8ventually ?#eBection? will sto& hu#ting an* will actually +ecome
funny, +ut fi#st one must wal7 th#ough the hu#t feelings, as o&&ose* to #e&#essing them an* &#eten*ing, ?I5m too
s&i#itually$evolve* to have my feelings hu#t.? I often say that a man who has not c#ie* himself to slee& ove# women
at least 1000 times &#o+a+ly *oes not have the self$honesty an* cou#age that is #eHui#e* to .omani/e on any
significant level.
"he ego assumes )ncon*itional Love is actually something that is col*, aloof, unca#ing, an* ?feels nothing.? But
actually, )ncon*itional Love feels 8ve#ything. All emotions flow f#eely, inclu*ing the emotion of feeling hu#t when a
woman is un7in* o# aloof o# col* o# in a ?+a* moo*? an* *oesn5t seem to feel the way that you feel a+out he#. Of
cou#se it hu#ts, all non$love hu#ts ve#y +a*ly, ve#y *ee&ly. Non$love is &u#e &oison. "he wo#l* is &oisone* with non$
love to such a stagge#ing *eg#ee that it f#eHuently #esults in a Huality of *enial calle* +eing num+. %#am those two
wo#*s togethe# an* you5ve got ?*um+.?
.ith escalation, it all +oils *own to +eing innocent an* sim&le, Bust li7e the chil*. "he #eason is sim&le. "he ?cool?
guy who stu*ies &ic7u& an* lea#ns #o+otic escalation is #eally Bust selling his soul. He is t#ying to own the &owe# of
<o* without su##en*e#ing to the Love of <o*. 8scalation without Love is evil, t#uly, it is evil an* lea*s to actual Hell,
which is not 5oute#5 +ut Huite 5inne#5. "he man who wal7s away f#om a *ate$gone$w#ong an* tells himself, ?Suc7 it u&
you &ussyI I Bust nee* to wo#7 on my gameI? is hea*e* st#aight to hell @actually, he is al#ea*y the#e, is he notFA. No,
no, noI It is the man who wal7s away f#om a *ate$gone$w#ong an* %:I8S +ecause he feels H):" insi*e an*
confuse* a+out it all an* wants the t#uth who is actually hea*e* towa#* heaven. "his guy seems wea7 an* stu&i*
to the 4)A5s, yet it is his ,ivine Stu&i*ity that Saves him in the en*. Life is funny that way. "he t#ic7 to life is to
actually Bust +ecome li7e a stu&i* 7i* who c#ies wheneve# coo7ies *on5t come his way. "o +e Authentic an*
<enuine an* to acce&t you# human *ownsi*e is what ca##ies you +eyon* it.
"he *iffe#ence +etween the non$integ#ous victim an* the highly evolve* s&i#itual as&i#ant is that the fo#me# c#ies
an* gets all emotional +ecause he wants to 5Buice5 his victimhoo* an* feel so##y fo# himself, whe#eas the latte# c#ies
an* feels his human emotions consciously an* has the willingness to fo#give the humanness of self an* othe#s
without e>ce&tion.
?%OOL? IS NON$IN"8<:O)S
"o escalate, you also have to let go of this notion that you nee* to +e ?a cool guy.? It is Nnecessa#yN to let go of
&#i*e. "#ue love$+ase* escalation comes f#om letting go of this false i*ea that you nee* to +e smooth, o# that you
nee* to +e ?the guy who gets women.? As if the#e was some 7in* of sec#et co*eI "he Inte#net ma#7ete#s want you
to +elieve such a co*e e>ists. "his is why they *enounce me an* #i*icule eve#ything I *o o# say. "he#e is no co*eG
that is why I calle* my volume se#ies, ?%#ac7ing the M92 %o*e?, the name was Bust a Bo7eG it was my &layful ?amog?
of the se*uction community, who consistently slan*e#e* me while I #eco#*e* the se#ies. "he#e a#e two choices in
lifeK 4#i*e o# )ncon*itional Love. 4#i*e is chosen +y a stagge#ing an* astoun*ing an* min*$+oggling 66. &e#cent
of the &o&ulation. Love is what ma7es you ?untoucha+le? f#om the lowe# 66.D. ?"he s7y @t#uthA cannot +e 7noc7e*
*own +y the hateful clou*s @ego5sA.?
Se*uction is evil. Love *oesn5t nee* to se*uce, im&#ess, lea*, cha#m, &e#sua*e, ?neg?, etc., +ecause it is f#ee f#om
+eing a slave to the intellect, ego, an* inne# voices. Love has no agen*a othe# than to s&#ea* mo#e Love. It
#eHui#es no Bustifications, #ationali/ations, o# e>cuses. It lea*s to a silent min* an* not a noisy one. Love cannot +e
attac7e* o# a#gue* against +ecause it alone is :eal. All non$love is #eally Bust imagina#y +ecause it comes f#om the
min*, which ma7es u& &ictu#es an* sym+ols an* images an* thei# accom&anying voices. "he min* is li7e an inne#
Hollywoo* ho##o# flic7 t#ying to convince you that it is who you a#e. But you5#e not the acto#, you5#e the enti#e
au*ito#ium. @"his can only +e e>&e#ience* via *ee& ;en me*itation o# .itnessing.A
S8Y IS M)N,AN8
.ith escalation, one thing I also li7e to #ecommen* to stu*ents is to let go of wanting se>. If you thin7 a+out it, you
can actually get +y in life Bust Be#7ing off eve#y now an* again, can5t youF I #ecently met a stu*ent who *enounce*
women @he gave u& on them, an* on loveA an* has +een living a se>$f#ee life fo# ten yea#s st#aight. But it isn5t #eally
se> that we want f#om women, it is cu**ling. I often say, ?.hen you ta7e a gi#l home, sto& wanting se>, an* sta#t
wanting to cu**le an* fall aslee& togethe#.? <o fo# cu**ling, a+ove an* +eyon* anything else. In this way, you
allow se> to ?Bust ha&&en.?
%hil*#en *o not have se> on thei# min*s. "hey a#e innocentG they a#e ha&&y to hang out, &lay, cu**le E whateve#
you *o with a chil*, they a#e ha&&y. "hey only ca#e a+out Being "ogethe#. Anything goes, whethe# it is going to the
&a#7, o# &laying with toys, o# eating at Mc,5sG anything goes as long as you a#e with the chil*. It isn5t the *oingness
that matte#s most, +ut the Beingness. "hat is the &athway to ha&&iness.
Se> is #eally Bust a way fo# you to Be#7 off insi*e of a woman5s &ussy. It #eally is nothing s&ectacula#. "he#efo#e, it
isn5t the se> that men want, it is the cu**ling. Su#e, it is nice to have the coc7$in$cunt thing goin5 on too, that5s goo*
stuffI But #eally, *ee& *own, you want to feel you# +o*y &#esse* against he#s. Jou want cu**ling. Jou want as
much of you# s7in touching he#s as you can &ossi+ly manage. If you coul*, you woul* li7e to Me#ge with he# so that
+oth +o*ies +ecome One.
"he t#ue u#ge, c#aving, *esi#e, wanting, lusting afte#, etc., is NO" fo# se>, +ut fo# Oneness. Men want lust +ecause
they want to feel Alive. "hey want to feel One with Life. 4#i*e *oesn5t li7e to a*mit that. 4#i*e wants to say, ?,u*e, I
fuc7e* he# #ight in the assI Jeah man, yeahI?
8scalation +oils *own to o&enly a*mitting to the woman that you want to +ecome One with he#. .hen a cou&le
em+#aces into Oneness, they +ecome One with <o* Immanent @<o* withinA. "he #eal #eason we men a#e
o+sesse* a+out women, can5t sto& thin7ing a+out them, can5t get them out of ou# min*5s, constantly loo7ing at thei#
asses an* tits, always won*e#ing if they fin* us att#active, etc., is +ecause *ee& *own insi*e we a#e see7ing to
+ecome One with <o* again. In t#uth, only Love is #eal.
It is O= to say these 7in*s of things to women. It is O= to loo7 at he# an* say the most #eta#*e*, chil*$li7e things.
.hile out on a *ate you Bust go, ?I wish we coul* clim+ insi*e each othe#, an* melt.?
Oneness. "he#e is no othe# #eason fo# +#eathing, fo# living. "his un*e#stan*ing, when since#ely un*e#stoo* an*
#es&ecte*, is what #esults in so$calle* ?smooth escalation? with women +ecause of its innocence an* &u#ity of
intention. .anting se> an* &#i*e is one thing, +ut &#efe##ing Oneness a+ove an* +eyon* se>ual &#i*e is Huite
anothe#.
!0. "he .heat 2#om "he %haff
.hile I often enBoy +eing a w#ite#, s&ea7e#, ?+logge#?, s&i#itual teache#, etc., it *oes have its *ownsi*e... such as
wa7ing u& in the mi**le of the night with the ?ins&i#ation? to w#ite. I went to +e* at (am, an* now it5s 3K!1am an* it
feels as though I ?must? w#ite. "his ha&&ens all the time, whe#e you 7now you +ette# get u& an* sta#t ty&ing,
othe#wise tomo##ow you5ll get u& an* will have fo#gotten what you we#e su&&ose* to w#ite. Oh well. I once ha* a Bo+
at a ma>i$&a* facto#y @assem+ly line, g#ueling 12$hou# night$shifts, 6 *ays on, one *ay offA. It was hell. So yeah, I5m
ce#tainly not +itching a+out the whole ?*ivine ins&i#ation to w#ite? thing.
<iven that this is the final *ay in this &#og#am, the#e5s a few things I want to go ove# with you +efo#e you go. One of
them is the scientific fact that most of the &eo&le you 7now woul* lite#ally to#tu#e an* 7ill you un*e# the #ight
ci#cumstances.
"hat5s #ight. "he#e is an actual thing calle* ?situational sa*ism.? Man7in* in gene#al is ve#y &sychologically wea7,
so much so, in fact, that even some of you# ve#y own f#ien*s an* family woul* gla*ly to#tu#e an* 7ill you if a ce#tain
conte>t we#e set u&. )nless you# f#ien*s an* family a#e e>t#emely s&i#itually evolve*, an* ve#y few &eo&le a#e
@even though many li7e to thin7 that they a#eA, seve#al of these &eo&le in you# life that you 7now an* ca#e a+out
ve#y *ee&ly coul* an* woul* li7ely 7ill you in a ce#tain conte>t.
"his is a fact that has +een *emonst#ate* #e&eate*ly in cont#olle* &sychological #esea#ch e>&e#iments with ve#y
#eal, healthy, no#mal citi/ens who a#e no *iffe#ent f#om the &eo&le we a#e close to in #eal life. Acco#*ing to these
e>&e#iments, if you ta7e no#mal citi/ens an* &lace them in a situation whe#e they a#e tol* what to *o +y an autho#ity
figu#e, you can actually get most &eo&le to not only to#tu#e an* 7ill thei# fellow human +eings, +ut they will actually
lea#n to enBoy it. "he one an* only thing they ?nee*? to +e convince* an* &e#sua*e* to inflict &ain an* mu#*e# onto
othe#s is fo# them to +e tol* that it is ?O=? +y someone they consi*e# to +e an autho#ity. In some stu*ies @;im+a#*o,
163!, an* Milg#am 163(A it is *ocumente* that out of o+e*ience, MOS" NO:MAL 48O4L8 @IA woul* gla*ly to#tu#e
even an innocent #esea#ch voluntee# in a no#mal )nive#sity setting.
Mo#eove#, mo#e than -0D of e>&e#imental voluntee# &#ison gua#*s we#e willing to a*ministe# a lethal elect#ic shoc7
to ?&#isone#s? in a stage* moc7 u& of a &#ison. @"hey actually ha* to sto& these e>&e#iments +ecause the
voluntee#s we#e noticea+ly +ecoming c#uel an* sa*istic.A
.hy am I even mentioning thisF ,i* I #eally Bust wa7e u& at 3K!1am to w#ite "HIS as the final a#ticle in .omani/eF
Human life is a g#eat <ift +ecause it affo#*s one with the o&&o#tunity to 5attain5 )ncon*itional Love an* even <o*$
consciousness @8nlightenmentA. "he &athway to 8nlightenment is actually stu&i*ly easy.
"he one 7ey issue that Bust a+out eve#y human suffe#s f#om is ,enial.
Love itself is actually the only thing wo#th living fo#. 8ve#ything othe# than Love lea*s to &ain, anguish, an* hell.
@Most &eo&le &#efe# to live an* *ie fo# thei# na#cissistic o&inions.A "he way to #each )ncon*itional Love an* even
8nlightenment is so sim&le that it +lows my min* that I am one of the only &eo&le I 7now who is *e*icate* to
#eaching the ultimate state. "he way is sim&le. 2i#st, the#e has to +e a willingness to +e 7in*, consi*e#ate, an*
com&assionate towa#* all of life @inclu*ing with you# own min*A without e>ce&tion. Ne>t must come the willingness
to *evelo& a Silent .itness state, whe#e you sim&ly soften you# eyes an* #ela> you# ga/e, an* *evelo& the ha+it of
+eing awa#e of you# &e#i&he#al vision. "hese two sim&le @an* enBoya+leA ?*isci&lines? soon lea* to such a high state
of consciousness it is almost un+elieva+le.
"he sim&le willingness to let go of Bu*gmentalism as well as to lea#n how enBoya+le it is to ga/e u&on the "otality
#athe# than the s&ecifics is the sim&le, easy, an* #oyal #oa* out of hell, anguish, &ain, suffe#ing, sic7ness, &ove#ty,
*isease, an* suffe#ing. "hese two sim&le tools, which a#e actually NenBoya+leN an* *ee&ly N&leasu#a+leN to use a#e
the solutions to all of life5s &#o+lems an* lite#ally lea* to Heaven @i.e., total ha&&inessA in a #elatively sho#t &e#io* of
time. Mo#eove#, this info#mation has +een availa+le fo# thousan*s of yea#s. Jet almost no+o*y uses it. @%u##ently, it
is estimate* that less than 300 &eo&le Rout of +illionS a#e se#iously a&&lying such sim&le tools in thei# *aily lives in
o#*e# to #each enlightenment. Only one in ten million &e#sons values an* #es&ects enlightenment enough to wal7
the sim&le &athway to get into Heaven at this time. "he #est of humanity still wo#shi&s the ego.A
I5ll neve# fo#get the *ay when I #eali/e* that the#e was no way fo# me to +e a+le to s&ea7 to my own mothe# E the#e
was no &oint in tal7ing with he# a+out anything anymo#e, fo#eve#. Not out of ange# o# #esentment, +ut *ue to the fact
that she, li7e most of the othe# +illion &eo&le on this &lanet, is *ee&ly aslee& @i.e., afflicte* with the &#i*eful$*enial
illusion of ?my thoughts #e&#esent the t#uth an* the#e is nothing mo#e I nee* to lea#n?A. I was &#o+a+ly a+out 2! o#
2($yea#s$ol* at the time. She was having a hell of a time t#ying to #aise my little siste#, who was still only a
teenage#. My siste# was ve#y much li7e I was at that age E ang#y, *efiant, #e+ellious, an* *ee&ly su+Bectively
f#ust#ate*. So anyway, the two of them ha* Bust finishe* ?enBoying? anothe# one of thei# e>&losive a#guments
#ega#*ing my siste#5s &e#fo#mance in school, o# the failu#e to clean u& he# #oom, o# something li7e that. Something
shallow, unim&o#tant, an* &etty, no *ou+t @i.e., something secula#A. "he min* gleefully wo#shi&s the i##elevant.
Sho#tly afte# thei# a#gument, my mothe# came to see me an*, fo# the ve#y fi#st time eve#, she actually as7e* fo# my
a*vice. I was stunne* s&eechless. She wante* to 7now how to han*le my siste#, so that they woul*n5t ?fight? so
much.
Cust as my mothe# as7e* me this, I ha&&ene* to +e #e$#ea*ing "he Seven Ha+its of Highly 8ffective 4eo&le fo#
what was &#o+a+ly the fifteenth time. @"hat +oo7 was li7e a ?Bi+le? to me while g#owing u&, an* much of what I
teach can +e t#ace* +ac7 to that +oo7.A I tu#ne* to one of the &ages in which the autho# clea#ly lays out the ve#y 7ey
to &a#enting. He calls it, ?See7 fi#st to un*e#stan*, then to +e un*e#stoo*.? "he &#inci&le is easy to g#as&, an* *amn
effectiveK As a &a#ent, you a#e to sim&ly sto& fo#cing you# own auto+iog#a&hy onto you# chil* @i.e., lectu#ing,
con*escen*ing, &e#sua*ingA an* lea#n to sim&ly listen to you# chil* wheneve# they s&ea7, no matte# what the
content.
"he willingness to let go of t#ying to cont#ol you# chil*5s min* will automatically lessen his o# he# *efensiveness
which then natu#ally encou#ages the chil* to o&en u& an* sha#e thei# t#uest feelings. If you since#ely listen to you#
chil* an* #ef#ain f#om constantly Bum&ing at the chance to give you# auto+iog#a&hical a*vice an* o&inions @li7e most
&a#ents *oA as soon as the chil* sta#ts o&ening u&, the chil* will then eventually come to t#ust you +ecause you5#e a
goo* listene# who is ca&a+le of t#ue em&athy an* un*e#stan*ing. Because the chil* now t#usts you, they will
actually want you# a*vice an* gui*ance. Now you will have t#ue &owe# an* the#efo#e influence. He o# she will come
to you an* as7 fo# you# wis*om an* want you to sha#e you# life e>&e#ience. "he chil* will value you# time togethe#
+ecause he o# she will feel *ee&ly #es&ecte*, un*e#stoo*, an* acce&te*. "he#efo#e, as a matu#e a*ult an* a
&a#ent, it is wise to, ?See7 fi#st to un*e#stan*, then to +e un*e#stoo*.?
"his fun*amental ?common sense? s&i#itual wis*om was, of cou#se, the e>act o&&osite of what my mothe# was
*oing with my little siste#. She almost neve# ?hea#s? what he# chil*#en have to say +ecause as soon as they s&ea7,
she loves to inte##u&t with ?you shoul*? an* ?*on5t? an* loves to lectu#e f#om he# own &e#sonal auto+iog#a&hy. @"o
this *ay, my mothe# still has no i*ea what I actually *o fo# a living.A Most &eo&le actually hate lea#ning s&i#itual t#uth
an* wis*om +ecause it ma7es them feel that they a#e ?w#ong.? "he ego often +elieves that it must +e ?#ight? at any
cost in o#*e# to su#vive, an* when evi*ence to the cont#a#y a#ises, the mechanism of ,enial 7ic7s in. It was an
ama/ing t#agi$comical thing to witness my mothe# go st#aight into ,enial as she #ea* those &ages f#om "he Seven
Ha+its +oo7. He# a#gument was lite#ally, ?If I listen to you# siste#, she will thin7 I am wea7 an* neve# listen to me
an* Bust *o whateve# she wants.? "hus, he# min* came u& with a hy&othetical *isaste# scena#io, ta7ing he# fa#
away f#om :eality. Of cou#se, the gla#ing fact is that my siste# al#ea*y thought of my mothe# as wea7, neve#
listene* to he# a*vice, an* always Bust *i* whateve# she wante* to *o.
"he non$integ#ous ego @cu##ently '-D of man7in*A lite#ally gets eve#ything +ac7wa#*s almost 100D of the time,
living in an almost constant wo#l* of hy&othetical illusion. Such human +eings a#e lite#ally not ca&a+le of
un*e#stan*ing even the most +asic ?common sense.? Because of 4#i*e, the ego sim&ly goes into ,enial wheneve#
it is conf#onte* with the t#uth +ecause it *oes not want to a*mit that it coul* +e ?w#ong? a+out something. Isn5t that
ama/ingF
"he wo#l* is actually many times mo#e ?sic7? than most healthy, well$a*Buste*, no#mal, integ#ous &eo&le #eali/e o#
can even imagine. "his wo#l* is much wo#se than we #eali/e. ,enial has a ve#y st#ong g#i& on almost eve#yone.
Most &eo&le actually e>&en* most of thei# time, #esou#ces, an* ene#gy t#ying to &#eten* that nothing is w#ong,
eve#ything is O=, eve#yone else is to +lame, etc., an* sec#etly, eve#yone uses almost ALL of thei# enti#e life ene#gy
su&&ly in actively maintaining the illusion that they a#e ?#ight? an* that they al#ea*y 7now eve#ything that the#e is to
7now a+out. Most mentali/ation9thin7ingness has an imagina#y au*ience associate* with it, the &u#&ose of which is
to show this imagina#y au*ience, ?I am #ight an* I 7now eve#ything, you a#e the#efo#e w#ong, unfai#, an* the cause
of my mise#y.?
"his wo#l* is much mo#e ill than we humans #eali/e. All of humanity has +een at wa# fo# 6!D of #eco#*e* histo#y
an* has +een 7illing, #a&ing, to#tu#ing, maiming, slaughte#ing, +u#ning, c#ucifying, *#owning, etc., each othe# this
whole time. In this centu#y alone, we engage* in these activities so much that ove# 100 million &eo&le have *ie*
f#om violent 7illing.
.e humans a#e still ve#y much in ,enial, so much so that to*ay, most of the wo#l* is cu##ently +eing hel* hostage
+y #eligious fanatics @i.e., Ciha*, "ali+an, Muslims, etc.A who a#e st#ategically infilt#ating eve#y count#y in the wo#l*
as I ty&e these ve#y wo#*s. "hei# &lan is sim&le, they want to 7ill most of humanity @?infi*els?A an* they have the
st#ategy, money, time, #esou#ces, etc. to *o it. Most of us young men in ou# 205s an* !05s have neve# even seen a
wa#, e>ce&t on television an* in movies. But #ight now, actually, the whole wo#l* is at wa# an* it is g#owing li7e a
cance# that is li7ely to soon escalate. It is easy fo# this to ha&&en +ecause the wo#l*, as usual, is in ,enial. @It is
ve#y easy to 7ill &eo&le who a#e slee&ing.A
Cesus sai* the#e can +e no ent#ance into Heaven until the ve#y last cent is &ai* u&.
Again, you# ve#y own f#ien*s an* family woul* li7ely to#tu#e an* 7ill you un*e# the #ight ci#cumstances. "he
&ossi+ility of an actual Nuclea# .a# E .o#l* .a# "h#ee E is Bust a#oun* the co#ne# an* it is &e#ha&s going to
ha&&en soone# than late#. Jou neve# 7now. "he#efo#e, *o not waste anothe# single minute of you# &#ecious life.
8ven #ight now as you #ea* these wo#*s, you coul* +e in the .itness state @conte>t9&e#i&he#y M +#eathingA an*
thus ve#y #a&i*ly ente#ing Heaven. 8ve#y secon* counts. Jou# last +#eath is lite#ally Bust a#oun* the co#ne#. In the
en*, you# S&i#itual &#og#ess is the only thing that matte#s. Ma7ing money, getting lai*, +eing famous, etc., a#e all
t#a&s fo# the unwa#y. .o#l*liness is a *ist#action an* a g#eat tem&tation which ensna#es most of human7in* who
waste lifetime afte# lifetime chasing illusions.
Asi*e f#om s&i#itual &#og#ession, in this wo#l*, the#e is nothing that com&a#es to the love of a goo* woman. "hat the
g#eat maBo#ity of my stu*ents actually still slee& alone afte# seve#al yea#s of stu*ying ?i*ea<asms? mate#ials... it
totally astoun*s me. Many of these men will continue to ?live? @if you can call it thatA without the com&any of even
one single woman fo# many mo#e yea#s to come, &ossi+ly even *ying alone. It isn5t that they *on5t want a +eautiful
woman to fall aslee& in thei# a#ms at night, it is that they *on5t want it +a* enough an*, &e#ha&s mo#e im&o#tantly,
they *on5t 7now o# even #emotely un*e#stan* Bust how much they a#e t#uly missing out on. "he love of a goo*
woman ostensi+ly *oes a man mo#e goo* than anything else he can eve# e>&e#ience in this ?ungo*ly? wo#l*.
4e#ha&s nothing is mo#e #ewa#*ing, &leasu#a+le, satisfying, an* healing than the love of a t#uly goo* womanI In this
wo#l*, t#uly goo* #elationshi&s a#e almost non$e>istent. 4eo&le &#eten* they a#e ha&&y, an* some a#e semi$ha&&y,
+ut #elationshi&s of )ncon*itional Love a#e almost nowhe#e to +e foun*. @My wife an* I even sus&ect that we coul*
soon +e the ve#y fi#st cou&le to #each 8nlightenment togethe#, an* we a#en5t &#i*eful E we5#e sim&ly astoun*e* at
how ?no+o*y *oes this.?A
Jou 7now whatF Nothing is easie# to accom&lish. It is much mo#e *ifficult to fin* a Bo+, o# +uil* a ca#ee#, o# lea#n to
*#ive a stu&i* ca# than it is to fin* the love of a goo* woman. "he min* ma7es eve#ything seem +ac7wa#*s. But
actually, fin*ing the love of a goo* woman is many times easie# to accom&lish than all othe# wo#l*ly goals +y vi#tue
of the sim&le fact that Bo+s, ca#ee#, ca#s, an* othe# accom&lishments *on5t want you +ac7 in #etu#n. Co+s an* ca#s
*o not &ut on ma7eu&. Houses *o not go to the gym an* *eli+e#ately eat low$calo#ie *iets an* s&en* almost eve#y
single wa7ing moment of thei# lives t#ying to fin* a goo* man to +e with.
As ?egoic? as this might soun*, if I we#e single, I *ou+t that it woul* +e &ossi+le fo# me to go one wee7 without
enBoying the com&any of at least one +eautiful woman. Meeting women an* enBoying thei# com&any is so easy I
coul* sc#eam. "he min* ma7es eve#ything *ifficult, +ut the hea#t ma7es eve#ything easy an* automatic. All that5s
#eHui#e* is to let go of &#esum&tive an* Bu*gmental inne#$commenta#y. "he min* wants to comment a+out
eve#ything an* eve#yone all the time, +ut when one lea#ns to ?cut it out? an* sim&ly .itness the wo#l* as it is
without ma7ing Bu*gmental commenta#y a+out it, the whole wo#l* then lite#ally t#ansfo#ms. "he ne#vousness goes
away, an* you sta#t slowing *own. Jou# gestu#es slow *own, you# s&ea7ingness slows *own, an* even the wo#l*
itself a&&ea#s to slow *own, an* seems to move in 5slow motion5.
8ve#ywhe#e you go, &eo&le su**enly want to +e in you# au#a an* se#ve you in some way. .ait#esses seem to all
want me to *#in7 3' cu&s of coffee with my +#ea7fast. "hey Bust 7ee& coming +ac7 to my ta+le, an* fin*ing e>cuses
to *o things fo# me. O#, they giggle an* +lush ne#vously an* f#ee/e, an* almost neve# come +ac7 to my ta+le
+ecause they a#e so ne#vous an* shy. Many of them even seem li7e total sno+s, +ut only +ecause they a#e so
af#ai* of #eBection that they ?loc7 u&? an* can +a#ely move o# s&ea7. No, the#e is nothing Huite as easy as &ic7ing
u& a woman. .hen the .omani/e mate#ials ?clic7?, you5#e going to fin* out Bust how easy this is.
<enuine wa#mth is the 7ey. An*, a little &e#sistence.
HO. "O HAN,L8 ?:8C8%"ION?
"he +est way to han*le #eBection is the same way the 7itty han*les #eBection wheneve# you gently &lace him *own
off the ta+le when you a#e t#ying to eat you# *inne#. Notice the 7itty unemotionally an* ve#y innocently comes #ight
+ac7 u& on the ta+le as if nothing ha&&ene*. =itty *oesn5t un*e#stan* no# even #egiste# what ?#eBection? means.
=itty is Bust cu#ious, wants foo*, an* es&ecially wants to +e in you# au#a. Simila#ly, a t#uly innocent, vulne#a+le,
honest man is cu#ious a+out the woman, #es&ects he# feminine +eauty, an* es&ecially Bust wants to +e in the
woman5s au#a. He is Bust li7e a goo*, lova+le 7itty. A &e#sistent little +ugge#, yes, +ut ce#tainly not ?&ushy.?
A woman often ?#eBects? a man +ecause she nee*s to 7now if his a*vances a#e since#e. "o fin* out if he is wo#th
he# time, she often says ?no? while sec#etly ho&ing he will ?Bum& +ac7 u& on the 7itchen ta+le again.? If he han*les
?#eBection? as unemotionally an* innocently as the 7itty, gently as7ing he# out again an* again, ve#y often the ?no?
tu#ns into a *efinite ?yes.?
"he feelings of 7itty a#e neve# hu#t +y ?#eBection? an* that is the 7ey. =itty ta7es nothing &e#sonallyG 7itty Bust 7ee&s
coming +ac7 fo# mo#e, almost in*efinitely. =itty can +e Huite annoying, yes, +ut as soon as he leaves the #oom, you
*iscove# that you li7e* +eing annoye*. Now you seem to miss 7itty, an* won*e# if you we#en5t im&olite... soon
you5#e won*e#ing whe#e 7itty went, an* off you go... getting u& f#om the ta+le an* sea#ching fo# you# fu##y little
f#ien* @while you# *inne# gets col*A.
.hen a man since#ely has a &#ofoun* inte#est9&#efe#ence @#ea*K not 5*esi#e5A in a woman, he shoul* +e ?a little +it
annoying? in his &u#suit of he#. "he attitu*e is to ?not ta7e no fo# an answe#?, +ut in such a way whe#e he is
#es&ectful an* es&ecially in a state of emotionless Coy.
In sales the#e is a well$7nown ti& that if someone says ?no? to you si> times, on the seventh time it will su**enly
+ecome a ?yes.? It is +ecause while the &e#son is saying no, ove# an* ove#, the t#uth is that they a#e still he#e an*
tal7ing to you. If they t#uly *i*n5t want it, they woul* have sai* no an* wal7e* away. "his same #ule a&&lies to
women an* *ating. .hen a woman says no, it is often a*visa+le to +ecome ha#* of hea#ing, so to s&ea7, o# to &lay
*um+ an* to sim&ly 7ee& tal7ing with he#. Afte# a minute o# so, sim&ly as7 he# again if she woul* li7e to g#ace you
with he# &#esence ove# coffee, o# *inne#, o# a wal7 along the +each, o# whateve# it is you5#e as7ing he# to 5*o5 with
you. If she says no again, that5s Huite al#ight +ecause he#e she is, still enBoying he# time with you. In a sense, you5#e
al#ea*y *ating. Cust 7ee& tal7ing to he# until the c#ac7s o&en. As long as you# intent is innocent @i.e., the &#efe#ence
fo# intimacy an* Oneness, as o&&ose* to the *esi#e fo# se> an* &#oving you# *esi#a+ilityA, it is safe to teach a man
that &e#sistence is gol*en. "he attitu*e he#e is ve#y much li7e the *oggie who loo7s at you with wi*e$o&en,
innocent eyes, as if to say, ?4uh$leeeeeeeeee/eF Oh c5mon, gimme gimmeI?
Men a#e missing out on the sim&licity of *ating +ecause they a#e socially &a#anoi* an* highly *efensive. "hey a#e
this way +ecause, in thei# min*5s, they a#e Bu*gmental an* they a#e aligne* with low 5att#acto# fiel*s5 such as guilt,
selfishness, &#i*e, an* lust. "his &#i*eful Bu*ging of othe#s @an* of selfA, an* alignment with low att#acto#s then
#esults in eve#mo#e unconscious guilt an* fea#s of #etaliation. "he @often unconsciousA &#oBection an* assum&tion
coul* +e *esc#i+e* as the +elief, ?Since I am such a negative asshole, women must +e negative +itches.? "he
#esult is then social &a#anoia an* gua#*e*ness. "hen, when they *o a&&#oach a woman, they *o eve#ything w#ong.
"hey get eve#ything +ac7wa#*s. "hey tal7 too much an* too Huic7ly. "hey move too much an* too Huic7ly. "hey
tal7 a+out the t#uly mun*ane an* unim&o#tant, an* a#e +o#ing. "hus, fo# goo* #eason, most women fin* that many
men a#e c#ee&y an* often #eso#t to &#eten*ing to have a +oyf#ien*, o# +eing aloof, o# giving out fa7e num+e#s.
@.omen coul* also stan* to lea#n how to &#o&e#ly +#ush a guy off with integ#ity an* confi*ence.A
JO): LI28 .ILL <8" 8ASJ
"he 7eys to a+so#+ing these mate#ials is actually Bust #e&etition an* the willingness to &#actice the techniHues,
affi#mations, intentions, visuali/ations, etc., which have +een sha#e* ove# the last !0 *ays. In most cases, I woul*
suggest #e$#ea*ing at least one a#ticle &e# *ay, &#efe#a+ly in the mo#ning. "he min* #eHui#es constant #e&etitions,
es&ecially when it comes to lea#ning that which is sim&le an* easy.
"o give you an i*ea of how sim&le it is to att#act women, I was #ecently out with a stu*ent whe#e I *emonst#ate*
Bust how ?stu&i*ly easy? the .omani/ing lifestyle #eally is. .e we#e stan*ing in line an* the#e we#e two cashie#s.
Now, the ave#age man woul* loo7 at one of the cashie#s, an* then #ight +efo#e getting caught, he woul* tu#n his
eyes away. "hen, he woul* loo7 at the othe# cashie#, an* Bust as he senses he might get caught loo7ing at he#, he
woul* tu#n away an* sta#e at something @such as the menu o# even at the wallA. "his is the eye$&atte#n of most
men. 4e#ha&s anothe# ty&e of man who is less shy @+ut still ve#y &#i*efulA woul* not tu#n away, +ut woul* t#y to
ma7e eye contact with the cashie#s, even though it is not yet his tu#n +ecause he is still in +ac7 of the line. "he man
might even smile once he loc7s eyes with the cashie#, &#o+a+ly thin7ing to himself that he has ?goo* +o*y$
language.? "hen again, some men will stan* in line an* loo7 at Bust a+out eve#ything an* eve#yone. "hey will +e
o+viously ne#vous, +ut &#i*efully t#y to hi*e this gla#ingly o+vious fact in a my#ia* of unconscious ways @e.g.,
stan*ing tall, c#ossing thei# a#ms, &utting thei# han*s in thei# &oc7ets in what they Bu*ge is a ?cool? way, etc.A. "hei#
eyes will Bust #an*omly *a#t a#oun* the #oom. "hus fa# in the histo#y of man7in*, these th#ee *iffe#ent styles of eye$
&atte#ns a#e the ve#y +est of what man has figu#e* out.
As I stoo* in line with my stu*ent, I *i* the one thing that, as I mentione* &#eviously, &#o+a+ly less than seven
hun*#e* &eo&le on this whole &lanet woul* *o with thei# eyesK I ga/e* st#aight ahea* at nothing in &a#ticula#, an*
hel* the conte>t9&e#i&he#y in my awa#eness while +#eathing in an* out. "hus, I stoo* the#e in a state of Bliss.
Su**enly, +oth of the cashie#s notice* me an* sta#te* ?chec7ing me out? in that won*e#fully +eautiful way that
women a#e, an* eve#y so often they loo7e* at each othe#, giggle* an* slightly +lushe*, an* chec7e* me out again
an* again. "hey we#e still se#ving custome#s, of cou#se, +ut eve#y f#ee secon* was *evote* to chec7ing me as
soon as they coul*, an* continually giving each othe# that well$7nown ?gi#l co*e? whe#e they loo7 at each othe# as if
to say, ?.oah, that guy is cute, I li7e his vi+e.?
By the time it was ou# tu#n to o#*e#, the two cashie#s we#e fully ?coo7e*?, so to s&ea7. .hat *i* I actually ?*o? to
?coo7? themF Not a single thing othe# than to Bust stan* the#e in a .itness stateI I *i* a+solutely nothing, an* that5s
the whole 7ey. ?"he less you 5*o5, the +ette# off you5ll Be.? By ga/ing st#aight ahea* ?at nothing? an* +eing awa#e of
my &e#i&he#al vision @#athe# than the s&ecifics of contentA in the #oom, not only am I e>t#emely #ela>e* an*
emanating as much Bliss f#eHuencies as a &u##ing 7itty, +ut +ecause I am not loo7ing at the gi#ls, I am giving them
the chance to loo7 at me. .hen you loo7 at women, you a#e #o++ing them of the chance to ?chec7 you out? an*
&ossi+ly select you as thei# mate. See how most men have eve#ything +ac7wa#*sF
"he ave#age man lite#ally cannot hel& himself. He always must loo7 at women, an* in *oing so, he ve#y naively
#uins his chances with almost all women all the time eve#y single *ay of his life. How *o you feel when someone
loo7s at youF It often t#igge#s feelings of *iscomfo#t, o# &#i*e, o# shame, o# feeling self$conscious, an* much mo#e.
"his then #esults in one5s inne# feelings of social &a#anoia an* *efensiveness #ising to the su#face. @,on5t +et that
you can get away with chec7ing women out an* them not 7nowing a+out it. .omen have eyes in the +ac7 of thei#
hea*s, so to s&ea7.A
"he wise man only glances at a woman ve#y +#iefly in most conte>ts, an* sim&ly stan*s the#e in a .itness state.
"his is the animal eHuivalent of *is&laying you#self an* allowing women to choose you. In the animal 7ing*om,
males *o not sta#e at the females, no# *o they use any &ic7u& lines. "hey sim&ly *is&lay themselves, allowing the
female enough time an* s&ace to engage he# highly com&le> mate$selection &#og#amming. Again, the less you
actually ?*o?, the +ette# off you5ll ?+e? in the *ating wo#l*. Once you# .itness$ga/e +ecomes well$*evelo&e*, all of
you# 5*oingness5 +ecomes smooth an* effo#tless, an* this inclu*es a&&#oaching women an* as7ing them out an*
going out on *ates an* getting ma##ie*.
A man5s eyes tell the whole sto#y. "hey ?tell? the woman all a+out his &o#n a**iction, his vi*eo game ha+it, an*
es&ecially his social &a#anoia an* gua#*e* *efensiveness. How naive a#e men that we actually thin7 it is &e#fectly
O= to loo7 a#oun* the #estau#ant an* ?Bust ha&&en? to glance ove# the &oo# woman -00 times in less than 10
minutes as she eats he# *inne#F How thic7 is man5s ,enial that he actually thin7s he is ?getting away with it? an*
she hasn5t even notice*F
It isn5t that a&&#eciating a woman5s +eauty with you# eyes is ?w#ong?, +ut the &#o+lem is that it t#igge#s he# to feel
self$conscious, socially &a#anoi*, *efensive, ?c#ee&e* out?, an* so on. "his is Bust the way human +eings a#e. It is
+est to sim&ly acce&t #eality an* align with t#uth instea* of with &#i*eful ,enial an* lust. "he#efo#e, if you5#e going to
a&&#oach a woman, it is +est to Bust *o it instantly an* f#om the state of thoughtless .itnessing, o# *on5t a&&#oach
women Bust yet an* lea#n to ?*is&lay? you#self fo# them instea* @without loo7ing at themA. "he t#uth is, until a soli*
.itness state of emotionless Boy is *evelo&e* to a significant *eg#ee, you# &ic7u& an* *ating life is going to +e a
hellish an* &ainful *isaste# of neve#$en*ing ?I have a +oyf#ien*? an* othe# &olite +#ush$offs @an* even a few viscous
?fuc7 offs?A.
I 7now men who a#e so *ee&ly into ,enial that they actually go out - to 3 nights a wee7 an* tal7 to hun*#e*s of
women an* get a+solutely nowhe#e with them. "hey ?sco#e? a+out 2 to ( women &e# yea# while getting #eBecte* +y
thousan*s mo#e. @I 7now one guy who has +een living this way consistently fo# ove# !- yea#s.A "hey #e&#ess thei#
&ain an* have *evelo&e* an inc#e*i+le *efensive num+ness that woul* im&#ess an anesthesiologist. ,ee& *own,
they #esent women ve#y *ee&ly an* a#e envious of them. "hey cling to the o&inion that ?life is unfai# +ecause
women can get lai* wheneve# they want, +ut men have to suffe# th#ough thousan*s of #eBections Bust to get lai*
twice a yea#.?
"he 7ey to success #eally is Bust the automatic #esult of the sim&le *ecision to let go of Bu*gmental9c#itical
commenta#y a+out eve#y thing an* eve#yone, +e 7in* to eve#yone inclu*ing you#self at all times no matte# what
@even if they clea#ly *on5t *ese#ve itA, let go of thin7ing you 7now eve#ything al#ea*y an* that it is women who a#e to
+lame @i.e., humilityA, let go of the fallacious +elief that you# min* is you# Savio# an* that o&inions a#e ma*e of gol*,
+e willing to ente# the state of ,ivine Stu&i*ity instea* of +eing the &#i*eful an* *efensive ?7now$it$all?, consciously
ma7e an effo#t to slow *own an* move with g#ace instea* of at a fast &ace, since#ely *evelo& you# state of Silent
.itnessingness to a significant *eg#ee, sto& t#ying to &#ove you# att#activeness, an* ac7nowle*ge the fact that all of
life th#oughout the total unive#se is all ha&&ening s&ontaneously an* automatically of its own @inclu*ing you# own
min*, you# thoughts, you# +#eathing, you# hea#t+eat, etc.A, the#efo#e, the#e is neve# anything to wo##y a+out an*
nothing to cont#olG #eali/e that when you a#e with a woman, you *on5t have to ?*o? anything fancy, you Bust nee* to
8>ist, an* that is mo#e than enough to &lease he#, in the same way that he# sim&le Beingness is enough to &lease
you.
I will also a** to this the suggestion to let go of the &#esum&tive +elief that s&i#itual &#og#ession is *ifficult.
"he o&&osite of that +elief is the actual t#uth. In #eality, it is living a no#mal ?Non$.itnessing? life of Bu*gmentalism
an* +eing aslee& that is t#uly *ifficult. Nothing is easie# an* mo#e fulfilling than &#og#essively wa7ing u& an* ma7ing
love to a +eautiful woman while you5#e wo#7ing on awa7ening you#self. "he wo#l* has eve#ything +ac7wa#*s, an*
*es&ite this, I still +elieve in my stu*ents +ecause I +elieve in myself an* in <o*.
,8SI:8 AN, N88,IN8SS
"he #eason we feel nee*y o# *esi#ous of women is *ue to the +elief that a woman woul* ostensi+ly 5cause5 ou#
ha&&iness.
.hen we then 5get5 a woman, we *o in*ee* feel ha&&y, if only fo# a little while, +ut we *o genuinely feel ha&&y.
Howeve#, the 5cause5 of ou# ha&&iness is not the woman, +ut the S&i#it Self. .hat ha&&ens is the min* c#eates a
false association +etween the woman an* the feelings of ha&&iness, lin7ing them togethe# in a causal #elationshi&.
"his is the +asic naivety of the human ego9min*, in that it t#a&s itself in a wo#l* of en*less +eliefs #ega#*ing 5causes5
that a#e #eally only imagina#y. "he way out is sim&le, which is to #eali/e that the wo#l* we see is me#ely a wo#l* of
effects, of which ou# consciousness is the ultimate 5cause5. One sim&le i*ea hel* in min* soon manifests itself into
the wo#l*. Out of the invisi+le #ealms a#ises the visi+le an* conc#ete wo#l* of effects. "his is why it is many times
mo#e &otent an* &owe#ful to wo#7 on one5s intentions, #athe# than on one5s +ehavio#s. Out of intentionality a#ise
one5s +ehavio#s, thus, +y focusing on consciously aligning with s&i#itual intentions @e.g., ?"he t#ue &u#&ose of se> is
to e>&#ess uncon*itional love an* Oneness?A, one5s thoughts, emotions, an* +ehavio#s then automatically an*
s&ontaneously fall in line an* +ecome 5&e#fect5. Again, the way to change +ehavio#al &atte#ns is to ma7e a change
in ou# consciousness. As ou# intentions change f#om selfish an* egoic to selfless an* s&i#itual, lite#ally all of ou#
thoughts, emotions, +ehavio#s, an* even +#ain chemist#y changes. By aligning with highe# intentions, not only *oes
it heal the negative &atte#ns such as guilt, shame, ange#, an* &#i*e, +ut all of the #ight things to 5say5 an* 5*o5 with a
woman a#e foun* to eme#ge s&ontaneously an* in a state of ,ivine 4e#fection.
.e must see that it isn5t that a woman has the &owe# to cause ou# ha&&iness at all, +ecause actually, ha&&iness
has no 5cause5. "he silent +ac7g#oun* in you# min* calle* 5consciousness5 is what is ca&a+le of #egiste#ing you#
thoughts, an* it alone is the sou#ce of ha&&iness. "he Huic7est way to *iscove# %onsciousness is to *iscove# the
.itness, which is an im&e#sonal as&ect of consciousness that is always al#ea*y .itnessing s&ontaneously an*
automatically at all times an* in all situationsG one nee* me#ely ac7nowle*ge its e>istence an* &#ay to +ecome
aligne* with it.
%onsciousness is ha&&iness, an* it o&e#ates ve#y much li7e a g#avitational o# elect#omagnetic fiel*. .hat ha&&ens
when we 5get5 a woman is the min* tem&o#a#ily then lets go of wanting, sea#ching, c#aving, see7ing, *esi#ing,
fea#ing, st#essing, ove#$thin7ing, etc., an* as a #esult of the lessening of the min*5s ene#gy$*#aining activities, the
min* then +ecomes mo#e silent an* +ecomes awa#e of the fiel* of consciousness @the S&i#it SelfA which is innately
ha&&y at all times +ecause it is +eyon* time an* fo#m an* is One with <o*.
"H8 2AS"$":A%=K INNO%8N" IN"8N"IONALI"J
.hen it comes to .omani/ing, the two main #es&onsi+ilities fo# which we must +e acutely awa#e a#e actually Bust
ou# effo#t @i.e., wal7ing ove# to say helloA an* ou# intention @i.e., to align with innocent s&i#itual intentions, as
o&&ose* to selfish ego gainA, +ut we a#e neve# #es&onsi+le fo# the #esult, i.e., getting the gi#l o# not.
"he #eason it is unwise to t#y to ta7e #es&onsi+ility fo# the #esult is +ecause the#e a#e actually an innume#a+le
num+e# of facto#s that come into &lay, most of which we a#e not awa#e of. "he#e a#e thousan*s of facto#s, such as
the woman5s +#ain chemist#y, he# social con*itioning, he# memo#ies, he# level of consciousness, he# ove#all
&sychological an* &hysical health, the cultu#e we5#e in, the 7in* of +o*y o*o#s she #es&on*s to, he# fea#s an*
wo##ies, he# emotional IO, an* many mo#e facto#s of which we have no cont#ol. "hus, the &#i*eful f#ien*s will
naively as7, ?SoF ,i* you 5get5 he#F ,i* she give you he# num+e#F? an* the naive 4)A with eithe# feel 4#i*e if the
answe# to these Huestions is ?yes?, o# feel Shame if the answe# to these Huestions is ?no.? As we can see, this is
not only naive, +ut actually Huite a##ogant, igno#ant, an* *ange#ous +ecause it unconsciously &#esumes that one is
<o* an* is thus a+le to cont#ol an unlimite* num+e# of facto#s.
"he 4)A5s unconsciously want the 4owe# of <o*, +ut they want this 4owe# without +eing willing to su##en*e# to the
Love of <o*. "hus, Love is what se&a#ates the wheat f#om the chaff.
%ont#astingly, the s&i#itually hum+le man me#ely feels g#ateful to have ha* the o&&o#tunity to s&en* a +#ief moment
with a +eautiful woman E with one of <o*5s +eauties. "o the hum+le man, a woman5s ?yes? o# ?no? is seen as a
total non$issue. Again, all that t#uly matte#s is one5s willingness to say hello, as well as one5s alignment with
innocent an* s&i#itual intentionality. "he 5#esults5 a#e su##en*e#e* to <o*, fo# they a#e of ?His? *omain.
Cust as it is not &ossi+le to cont#ol the weathe# o# the atmos&he#e of 8a#th, it is f#an7ly im&ossi+le to cont#ol a
woman5s att#action an* es&ecially he# LoveG *on5t fall fo# the Inte#net sales &itches an* the glamo#i/e* &seu*o$
he#oic 4)A5s, fo# as has +een *iscove#e*, the maBo#ity of them a#e fa# +ette# at se*ucing young men online an*
getting them to &u#chase &#o*ucts than they a#e in the 5#eal wo#l*5 of &ic7u&. "#uthfully, any i*iot can lea#n to &ic7u&
a 5clu+ ho5, +ut a #a#e woman of Integ#ity an* Love *oes not #es&on* to techniHues an* tactics @no# is she li7ely to
+e foun* in a +a# o# clu+A.
%L8A:IN< O)" "H8 S=84"I%ISM :8SI,)ALS
It is no#mal fo# you# left$+#ain to +e s7e&tical a+out s&i#itual matte#s, inasmuch as the left &a#t of you# +#ain has to
*o with ve#y +asic seHuential &#ocessing an* logic @such as stic7ing a sHua#e &eg in a sHua#e holeA. "he left +#ain
cannot un*e#stan* non$linea# s&i#itual #ealities at all, +ut the #ight +#ain *oes. "he#efo#e, *on5t wo##y a+out it if you#
left +#ain is constantly s7e&tical a+out the e>istence of S&i#it an* <o* @o# 5consciousness5, if you &#efe# that te#mA.
Afte# all, it is &#og#amme* to +e &u#ely mate#ialistic, an* it only +elieves that which is can see, hea#, smell, taste,
an* touch. It hel&s to +e #emin*e* that even though we cannot see o# touch g#avity, we ce#tainly +elieve in it as we
a#e nea#ing the e*ge of a cliff. Although we can5t see #a*io waves, we ce#tainly use #a*ios an* +elieve in thei#
vali*ity an* &#acticality.
"o *iscove# fo# you#self that ha&&iness is not 5cause*5 +y e>te#nal acto#s, ta7e a moment to imagine that you5ve
al#ea*y foun* the &e#fect gi#l. She smells ama/ing, she5s +eautiful, she5s se>y, she laughs at all of you# cheesy
Bo7es, an* she values you fo# no logical #eason at allG she loves you +ecause in t#uth, you +oth #ecogni/e that on a
s&i#itual level, you a#e One. "a7e a moment to imagine this woman is al#ea*y in you# life, an* may+e she5s *oing
the *ishes in he# lace &anties, while humming to he#self li7e a ha&&y chil*. She5s with you, she wants you, she
#es&ects you, an* she clea#ly loves you. She has the &e#fect ass, an* he# face is go#geous. He# s7in is so soft, it5s
un+elieva+le. She #es&ects you# s&i#itual values, an* she too wants uncon*itional love in he# life. She5s you#
*#eam$gi#l in eve#y &ossi+le way. Notice how she smells. Notice how she feels in you# a#ms. Notice how you feel
insi*e when you hol* he#...
Now, Bust imagining this has al#ea*y #esulte* in ha&&inessG hol* on to the feelings this visuali/ation has &#o*uce*.
Ha&&iness shines fo#th when you give it &e#mission to *o so. Mo#eove#, +y hol*ing onto this feeling, you5ll att#act
this 7in* of gi#l into you# life. 2eelings of *esi#e an* nee*iness an* loneliness a#e what #e&el women, +ut
ha&&iness$fo#$no$#eason is what att#acts them. Jou *on5t ?nee*? a woman to +e ha&&y at all, +ut you woul*
ce#tainly &#efe# it if you# *#eam gi#l was in the he#e an* now.
Ha&&iness comes f#om within when +eliefs an* negative thoughts a#e #emove*. "hat5s a un*is&uta+le fact.
So, a nice way to heal nee*iness, loneliness, an* *esi#e is to Bust imagine that you al#ea*y have what you want,
an* then Bust #emin* you#self that those goo* feelings stem f#om within. It *oes ta7e constant #emin*e#s, +ut not fo#
long. "he min* nee*s to +e taught the t#uth with &e#sistence an* loving &atience.
In t#uth, you5#e al#ea*y One with all women anyway. By ?acting as if? you 7now this is t#ue, an* +y ?acting as if? you#
*#eam$gi#l is al#ea*y he#e, an* +y ?acting as if? you5#e al#ea*y com&lete an* total within you#self, it is only a matte#
of time +efo#e you5ll 5&ull in5 o# 5att#act5 this into you# life. One must me#ely have faith.
S8L2$%ON,8MNA"ION
One of the most common &itfalls of .omani/e stu*ents is they a#e self$con*emning. If they f#ee/e u& an* fail to
a&&#oach a woman, they then go insi*e thei# min*s an* say things li7e, ?<###, when am I going to get ove# this
fea#F .hy am I such an i*iotF <o*, I5m so stu&i*. It5s Bust a stu&i* chic7, *ammitI Cust a&&#oach he#, you fuc7ing
&ussyI 2uuuuc7, I5m such a go**amn mo#on. .hy can5t I a&&#oach he#F It5s Bust a meaningless a&&#oach. Cust say
5hello5 to the gi#l. .hy am I so stuc7F .ill I eve# get ove# thisF <#####.?
"his 7in* of inne# chatte# stems f#om the +elief that you can, an* the#efo#e shoul*, +e *iffe#ent than you a#e. It is
fine fo# ?othe# &eo&le? to have these fea#s an* wo##ies a+out a&&#oaching women, +ut ?not me, +ecause I5m
*iffe#ent, uniHue, s&ecial, an* su&e#io#.? It is of utmost im&o#tance to let this 7in* of self$tal7 go imme*iately. It
*oesn5t wo#7. It won5t hel&, no# will it heal you in any way. "his 7in* of self$tal7 is ve#y common in ou# society, an* it
is one of the main #easons why &eo&le a#e sic7. "his 7in* of self$tal7 is &#ecisely what lea*s to cance# an* othe#
common illnesses.
"he co#e #eason we fea# #eBection is +ecause the ego feels guilty fo# its sins, an* naively assumes that +oth
women, an* <o*, wants to &unish it fo# it5s mista7es @e.g., fo# watching &o#n, fo# stealing, fo# lying, fo# wanting to
fuc7 you# +est f#ien*5s gi#l, etc.A. One of the co#e #easons we have fea# of #eBection is that it often stems f#om the
+elief that we *ese#ve to +e &unishe* fo# ou# mista7es. In t#uth, howeve#, the ego *oes not nee* to +e &unishe* at
all, +ut me#ely nee*s to +e e*ucate* an* love*. Only love has the &owe# to e*ucate an* heal, the#efo#e, only loving
thoughts shoul* +e allowe* to &ass th#ough one5s min*. "o consistently +e 7in* to one5s ego$self lea*s *i#ectly to
Heaven. It heals wo##y, guilt, shame, #emo#se, &#i*e, etc., in *ue time, an* actually heals them mo#e Huic7ly than
stu*ents initially assume. All s&i#itual tools a#e many times mo#e &owe#ful than naive 5see7e#s5 #eali/e.
HJ4O%:ISJ AN, B8IN< ?".O$2A%8,?
Most guys act one way with women, +ut a#e 5*iffe#ent5 with thei# guy +u**ies, e.g., &olite with gi#ls, an* c#ass with
guys.
A #athe# st#ong suggestion is to +ecome cong#uent with #es&ect to how you t#eat men an* women, +y ma7ing su#e
you a#e t#eating them +oth the same. "he &#o+lem with ?loc7e# #oom tal7? with you# guy f#ien*s is that it #esults in
the c#eation of unconscious guilt, shame, an* social &a#anoia, such as the fea# of getting foun* out. Although
tal7ing with the +oys a+out, ?Man, I woul* fuc7 that gi#l so ha#*I? *oes #esult in a feeling of cama#a*e#ie,
unfo#tunately howeve#, +ecause it stems f#om &#i*e an* lust, it inevita+ly ?fills you u&? with guilt, shame, an*
i##ational &a#anoi* fea#. "his is one of the many #easons why, when such a man a&&#oaches a woman to tal7 to
he#, his min* goes +lan7 an* he cannot thin7 of anything 5goo*5 to say, an* so the conve#sation 5stalls out5 an* he
loses the gi#l again an* again.
Anothe# issue that comes u& is this i*ea that you5#e su&&ose* to t#eat ce#tain gi#ls in ce#tain ways, an* yet t#eat
othe# gi#ls in *iffe#ent ways. 2o# e>am&le, the way you shoul* tal7 to a 5fattie5 is su&&ose*ly *iffe#ent than the way
you woul* tal7 to a 5hottie5, which is also *iffe#ent than the way you might tal7 to you# siste# o# mothe#. "he#e is also
this saying, namely, ?"#eat a la*y li7e a whoo#, an* t#eat a whoo# li7e a la*y.?
"he 7ey to sociali/ing is to actually Bust t#eat all women as if they a#e the same. .hethe# it5s a 60$yea#$ol* la*y o# a
22$yea#$ol* Ma>im swimsuit mo*el, it5s all the same.
<)IL" AS A MACO: %ON":IB)"O: "O SO%IAL ANYI8"J
"he #oyal #oa* to healing this sto#ehouse of unconscious guilt an* fea# is to &#og#essively align one5s self with
Innocence. "o *o so, one me#ely nee*s to 5cut out5 o# let go of as much negativity an* non$integ#ity as &ossi+le, +y
having the cou#age to face the t#uth a+out one5s sim&le *aily ha+its.
<oing to clu+s is ha#*ly integ#ous. "hey a#e mostly fille* with &#i*eful an* even s&iteful &eo&le. "he women the#e
a#e *efensive an* &a#anoi*, an* can +e e>cessively #u*e an* Bu*gmental. "he #eason the music is so lou* is
+ecause clu+ owne#s have lea#ne* that ove#tly lou* music ove#whelms the senses an* the ne#vous system, an*
the only way to 5*e$st#ess5 is to consume eve#mo#e amounts of alcohol. Mo#eove#, much of the music +eing &laye*
in clu+s actually uses 5ca##ie# waves5 which a#e 7nown to ent#ain you# +o*y$min* an* you# &syche to +ecome
ent#aine* +y negative ene#gy fiel*s, f#om which you# min* an* +o*y a#e 100D *efenseless. "his #esults in the
muscles going wea7, the me#i*ians getting 5+lown out5, the +#ain5s hemis&he#es *e$synch#oni/ing, the thymus glan*
an* immune system +eing su&&#esse*, the min* getting &#og#amme* with negativity, an* much, much mo#e. <oing
to clu+s is a g#eat way to &#eclu*e9&#event9+loc7 you# s&i#itual g#owth an* to actually get sic7. 2o# linguistic
convenience an* &#agmatic value, one can say that clu+s an* +a#s a#e lite#ally evil, in that they a#e sou#ces of anti$
life, anti$t#uth, an* anti$love ene#gies. "hey a#e t#a&s fo# the naive an* unwa#y an* nee* to +e avoi*e* if ma7ing
significant s&i#itual &#og#ess is you# goal. "his *oesn5t mean that all of the men an* women who go to clu+s a#e
non$integ#ous, +ut yet the maBo#ity of them &#o+a+ly a#e.
.hen I was single, I foun* that the +est way to meet women was *u#ing the *aytime. It *oesn5t matte# whe#eG t#y
the gym, the +us sto&s, coffee houses E it5s all the same. 2o# some #eason, I have foun* that one of the ve#y +est
&laces fo# locating a significant amount of stunning women is to go to I7ea. If you5#e won*e#ing whe#e all the
+eautiful women a#e, they5#e &#o+a+ly at .al$ma#t o# I7ea. Actually, %ostco is anothe# g#eat location.
It is always O= to a&&#oach a woman when the #eason you a#e a&&#oaching he# is +ecause you love you# life. "he
#eason we have #elationshi&s is +ecause they ten* to magnify the human e>&e#ience. 8ating *inne# an* watching a
movie alone is nice, +ut *oing so with a woman ten*s to magnify those activities *ue to the 5sha#ingness5 of the
e>&e#ience.
One of the g#eatest unconscious fea#s men have is they won*e#, ?.hat *o I say if she as7s me why I am
a&&#oaching he#F? Again, it is ve#y healing to consciously come to te#ms with one5s intentions. Although the ego
in*ee* see7s lust, it only wants lust +ecause lust ma7es the ego feel alive. "his is ha#*ly 5evil5, +ut it is limiting. An*,
even though the ego ve#y noticea+ly wants a&&#oval so that it can &#ove its *esi#a+ility an* get to feel &#ou*, it only
wants that +ecause this is what ma7es it feel that it is alive an* well. "he ego ve#y innocently wants to feel that it is
?O=.? It isn5t necessa#y to attac7 the ego o# tell it, ?Jou shoul*n5t +e the way that you a#e? at all. One me#ely nee*s
to ac7nowle*ge the ego +y saying, ?Jou5#e O=. 8ve#ything is O=. "he#e a#e no &#o+lems. Shhhh. It5s O=.?
"o heal guilt a+out the &ast, it is only necessa#y to have a *ecent #eg#et, an* to say, ?It seeme* li7e a goo* i*ea at
the time.? "hat alone is enough to heal you# enti#e &ast.
As fo# healing the futu#e, it is im&o#tant to let go of the fea# of *eath, +y #eali/ing that you a#e actually always
&e#fectly safe. It is not &ossi+le to ?*ie?, an* in #eality, it isn5t that we a#e af#ai* to leave the +o*y, it5s that we5#e
af#ai* of leaving ou# love* one5s +ehin* an* en*ing u& alone in a *iffe#ent #ealm. Also, anothe# #eason we5#e af#ai*
to 5e>&i#e5 is *ue to guilt, an* the fea# of <o*5s vengeful w#ath an* c#uel &unishment. But <o* isn5t a &e#son, <o* is
mo#e li7e a giant elect#ostatic fiel* of awa#eness an* love. "he#e is the#efo#e no #eason to fea# ?Him? at all.
Jou *on5t have to cont#ol the futu#e via wo##y o# thin7ingness a+out you# 5*oigness5. It is safe to su##en*e# you# life
to the 8te#nal Now moment, an* Bust let <o* #un you# life. @"his will +e &#og#essively *iscove#e*, es&ecially via the
&#actice of .itnessing an*9o# *ee& me*itation.A Cust let <o* wo##y a+out you# futu#e. It is a+solutely safe to t#ust in
%onsciousness an* to let it gui*e all of you# *ecisions an* actions. <o* can +e counte* u&on an* t#uste*
a+solutely.
It is a+solutely safe to let go of &a#anoi* 5thin7ingness5 an* Bust let the inne# silence g#a*ually swallow you whole, so
to s&ea7. Cust 5wo##y5 a+out you# willingness to wo#7 an* live, an* 5wo##y5 a+out you# alignment with innocent
intentions such as love, intimacy, health, an* success. "he #esults of you# life an* of you# futu#e *estiny a#e then
?<o*5s &#o+lem? instea* of you#s. A useful &#aye# is to get u& each mo#ning an* state, ?I am a se#vant of the Lo#*,
the#efo#e my &e#sonal will an* my thoughts a#e of no use. In what way can I +e you# se#vant, Oh Lo#*F? A &#aye#
such as this invo7es the highest levels of consciousness into you# life in *ue time.
So, the ego wants lust an* a&&#oval, an* that5s O= +ecause it ve#y innocently Bust wants to feel alive. On a highe#
level, the #eason we want to a&&#oach women an* fin* a gi#lf#ien* is +ecause we love ou# life @no matte# how
5shitty5 it is, we still value ou# livesA an* we want to sha#e the gift of life with a woman +ecause we intuit that the
5sha#ingness5 will enhance an* magnify eve#ything that we e>&e#ience. 8ven going to the &ost office to mail a stu&i*
lette# to the gove#nment o# &ay the elect#ic +ill is now somehow a won*e#ful e>&e#ience +ecause we have someone
to sha#e it with. .atching a movie alone is O=, +ut cu**ling u& an* watching the movie with a goo* woman can +e
an inc#e*i+le an* even an unfo#getta+le e>&e#ience. "hus, life magnifies life. 4ets, flowe#s, &lants, an* @integ#ousA
women a#e LifeG when &ositive life connects with &ositive life, ou# e>&e#iences a#e somehow noticea+ly enhance*.
"H8 .O:SHI4 O2 B8A)"J
One way to att#act a +eautiful woman into you# life is to sim&ly su##oun* you#self with +eauty. I *on5t ca#e if you5#e
ugly, stu&i*, +#o7e, an* a#e &a#aly/e* with a&&#oach an>iety an* a feeling of ho&elessness. ,on5t wo##y a+out it.
Cust ma7e eve#ything in you# envi#onment +eautiful, an* the #est will follow automatically.
Ma7e you# ca# +eautiful, you# a&a#tment +eautiful, you# clothes +eautiful, etc., +ecause ?li7e goes to li7e?, the#efo#e
+eauty att#acts even mo#e +eauty to it. Listen to +eautiful music instea* of 5gansta #a&5 o# 5heavy metal5. Su##oun*
you#self with +eauty as +est you can. It has always stunne* me to see Bust how *isgusting guys can +e. "hey let
the *ishes an* laun*#y &ile u&, thei# fu#nitu#e is +lan* an* 5col*5, thei# ca# is fille* with *isgusting tissues an* +u#ge#
w#a&&e#s an* to#n news&a&e#s, etc., an* they won*e# why they a#e not att#acting +eauty into thei# lives.
Beauty *oesn5t #eally cost much at all. I5m not im&lying that we nee* to own e>&ensive things. Jou *on5t have to
&u#chase a :em+#an*t. In fact, the only ?e>&ensive? things I officially own a#e my la&to& an* my +e*. If you we#e to
see my a&a#tment, you woul* &#o+a+ly fall *own laughing. It is a one #oom &lace, with a ga#age. I ma*e the ga#age
into the lounge a#ea, an* the one #oom that we have contains ou# +e* an* ou# 7itchen. An* yet ou# &lace is
e>t#emely +eautiful, an* my woman loves it. At fi#st, she was &#etty #esistant to the i*ea of moving in he#e, +ut I
assu#e* he# a little, an* now she says that she neve# wants to leave this &lace. .e went to I7ea an* *#o&&e* a+out
[00 the#e to &u#chase chea& cu#tains, can*les, chea& little ca#&ets, etc., an* now the &lace is heavenly. .e also
have a tiny view of the ocean, which ce#tainly hel&s. .e can hea# the waves eve#y night as we slee& an* *#eam.
"he main em&hasis he#e is to ma7e you# &lace wa#m an* co/y. Loo7 a#oun* you# a&a#tment, an* as7 you#self,
?.oul* a woman want to +e na7e* in this a#eaF? Loo7 at eve#y a#ea an* as7, ?.oul* a na7e* woman want to sit
*own he#eF O# how a+out ove# the#eF? Ma7e you# a&a#tment into a Lovema7ing 4alace. Jou can &u#chase 5th#ow$
+lan7ets5 fo# [ an* th#ow 5em on you# chea&, ugly chai#s an* now they a#e +eautiful an* loo7 ,ivine. Jou# <o*$
awful couch can +e cove#e* with one of those soft fu//y +lan7ets @?&ola# fleece?A, an* su**enly, it loo7s #athe#
inviting. All of you# chea&, +eat$u& fu#nitu#e can +e cove#e* u& somehow.
One 7ey to ma7ing a #oom loo7 heavenly is to get lots of *iffe#ent lights. In ou# &lace we now have seve#al small
lam&s, as well as those chea&, white, [( %h#istmas lights to *eco#ate the co#ne#s of the ceilings. .hat you want
a#e a whole +unch of little soft lights, as o&&ose* to one o# two +ig lights. "he mo#e little sou#ces of light, the +ette#,
an* then you can cont#ol how +#ight the #oom is at any given time via howeve# many lights you tu#n on o# off. "his
stu&i* little househol* ti& ma7es any 5chea& shithole5 loo7 heavenly.
If you have a com&ute# *es7, ma7e su#e it is not facing the wall. <et #i* of that ol* ?cu+icle em&loyee
consciousness? an* +ecome "he Boss. "u#n that *es7 a#oun* so that you# +ac7 is facing the wall, an* you a#e
facing the whole #oom. Now when you# woman wal7s in the #oom, she will see you# face instea* of the +ac7 of you#
s7ull. Jou loo7 li7e ?"he Boss?, o# ?"he "eache#?, instea* of the cu+icle em&loyee.
Mo#eove#, *o you #eally nee* two o# th#ee huge, 5clun7y5 com&ute#s with all of those wi#es an* *ustF .hy not get
you#self a Mac la&to& instea* of all that c#a&F Jou5* +e su#&#ise* how a nice little Mac will solve most of you#
com&ute# f#ust#ations an* &#o+lems. I can5t +elieve I eve# use* .in*ows.
.ith a nice la&to&, you won5t nee* a television anymo#e +ecause you can watch movies in +e* with you# gi#l,
instea* of in the living #oom with you# *um+ass #oommate who has a +a* case of hea*$lice an* hasn5t +#ushe* his
teeth in two wee7s. S&ea7ing of which, if you have a non$integ#ous #oommate, the suggestion is to get #i* of him @o#
move outA ASA4. "he non$integ#ous &e#son is someone who i*entifies with Hell, an* the#efo#e +#ings Hell into you#
&syche, mostly in su+tle ways that go unnotice*. Mo#eove#, the non$integ#ous a#e li7e c#a+s in a +uc7et. .hen one
c#a+ t#ies to leave the +uc7et, all of the othe# c#a+s will g#a+ onto it an* t#y to &ull it +ac7 *own. Being in the
&#esence of a non$integ#ous &e#son, you a#e li7e a f#og in +oiling wate#. If you &lace a f#og in a &ot an* tu#n the
heat on, the f#og is not a+le to notice that it is getting hot in the#e... By the time it #eali/es anything, it +oils an* *ies.
.hat a+out you# wallsF .ell, lust &oste#s of +i7ini +a+es, o# &oste#s of Sca#face a#en5t e>actly going to invite mo#e
+eauty into you# life. One thing you can *o is get some colo#e* &encils an* colo#e* &a&e# an* &ut some of you#
favo#ite Huotes on you# wall. It5ll cost you &#actically nothing, an* the Huotes a#e +eautiful an* ins&i#ational, an*
they also se#ve to let women 7now what you# co#e values a#e. Jou can then .itness how women #es&on* when
they come ove#. ,oes she igno#e the Huote that says, ?Be 7in*, fo#giving, an* com&assionate towa#* all of life, in
all its e>&#essions, inclu*ing with you# own min*, no matte# what, without e>ce&tions?, o# *oes she #ea* it an*
comment on it &ositivelyF ,oes she scoff at it, o# is she int#igue* +y itF
Jou can tell a lot a+out a woman +y the way she t#eats you# &ets. Be wea#y of the woman who igno#es you# 7itty, o#
thin7s you# little *oggie is ?g#oss?G 7ee& a watchful eye on those who *isli7e animals, fo# they a#e usually non$
integ#ous an* &e#ha&s even *own#ight 5evil5. Life values, an* loves, All Of Life. An integ#ous woman will gene#ally
5light u&5 when she sees you# 7itty, an* she will want to &et it o# &lay with it. She will, at the ve#y least, ac7nowle*ge
the 8>istence of you# &et. But the woman who is 5stan*offish5 #ega#*ing you# &et is, most li7ely, non$integ#ous. She
the#efo#e views othe# life fo#ms as 5things5, as o&&ose* to Beings. "o the non$integ#ous, life is &e#ceive* to +e
&u#ely mate#ial. 2u#the#mo#e, 7ee& a watchful eye on how you# &et +ehaves a#oun* a new woman E &ets often
7now the t#uth a+out someone well +efo#e we *o.
Jou walls. One way to *eco#ate them is to get some chea& cu#tains o# chea& mate#ial an* cove# u& a wall o# two
with the fa+#ic. It ma7es the #oom feel much mo#e wa#m an* co/y @#ea*K it ma7es it easie# to 5get na7e*5A. Jou can
also *o this 7in* of thing to one o# mo#e *oo#s. Jet anothe# way to *eco#ate a wall is to &ut a shelf u& an* fill it u&
with can*les, oils an* incense. A massage ta+le is also a nice touch. I once ha* a nice hammoc7 that was ca&a+le
of su&&o#ting two &eo&le in it...
So again, the i*ea is to +latantly ma7e you# &lace loo7 li7e the 4alace of Lovema7ing. As long as you# intention is
not lust o# the nee* to &#ove you# *esi#a+ility, +ut #athe#, you# intention is to c#eate a wa#m atmos&he#e that ma7es
a woman feel comfo#ta+le an* 5heavenly5 fo# the ultimate &u#&ose of intimacy an* love, then you have nothing to
wo##y a+out. <o ahea* an* ta7e this to an e>t#eme level. Ma7e eve#y co#ne# of you# house com&letely an*
o+viously 5fuc7a+le5.
Jou# +ath#oom is im&o#tant. As7 you#self, ?.oul* a woman want to 5fuc75 in this &laceF? Again, Bust a+out eve#y
co#ne# of you# home nee*s to +e clean, wa#m, an* highly ?fuc7 wo#thy.? It is ve#y easy E Bust get a cou&le of co/y
5foot mats5 an* th#ow them on the g#oun*G ma7e su#e they5#e the #eally fluffy ones. Jou# showe# cu#tain shoul* also
+e +eautiful, an* not Bust a &iece of &lastic to 7ee& the wate# f#om *#i&&ing, +ut fo# ' +uc7s you can get something
*ecent with little fishies o# *ol&hins on it E whateve#. Mo#e im&o#tant than the *eco# is the cleanliness, fo# o+vious
#easons. I also #ecommen* &u#chasing some ?gi#l stuff?, such as tam&ons, ma7eu& #emove#, cotton +alls, +o*y
c#eam, an* the li7e. A woman who slee&s ove# will +e &leasantly su#&#ise* shoul* she #eHui#e any of that stuff.
If she com&lains, ?A#e you some 7in* of &laye#F? you can Bust #eassu#e he# +y saying something gentle, such as,
?No wo##ies.? At this &oint, 7ee& a watchful 8ye on he#, +ecause &a#anoi* women a#e usually non$integ#ous. If you
a#e integ#ous, ca#ing, consi*e#ate, 7in*, an* t#ustwo#thy, then it is &#o+a+ly safe to guess that the woman who
*oesn5t t#ust you is li7ely non$integ#ousG a non$integ#ous woman t#usts no one.
,A"IN<
Men often as7 whe#e to ta7e women out on *ates, an* shoul* they &ic7 u& the ta+F I *o +elieve the man shoul* +e
the one to &ic7 u& the ta+, yes. Afte# all, man was clea#ly *esigne* +y <o* to &#otect an* &#ovi*e fo# a woman, an*
any woman who is offen*e* +y this is &#o+a+ly Bust insecu#e an* *own#ight &a#anoi*, i.e., non$integ#ous.
Jou *on5t have to wo##y a+out selfish women 5using you5 fo# you# moneyG Bust g#acefully allow them 5use you5, +ut
only allow this to ha&&en onceI "he won*e#ful thing a+out gene#osity E as with )ncon*itional Love itself E is that it
is an e>cellent *isce#nment tool.
As fo# 5whe#e5 to ta7e women, an* what to 5*o5 with them, the i*ea is to &#ovi*e he# with a &eaceful envi#onment that
easily lea*s to intimacy. Lou* &a#ties, clu+s, an* +a#sF Not a chance. =ee& women away f#om high st#ess
envi#onments.
S&en*ing money is not necessa#y, an* actually, Bust going fo# a wal7 in the &a#7 o# along the +each is sufficient. All
that matte#s is you a#e somewhe#e whe#e +eauty su##oun*s you.
"he wo#shi& of +eauty an* silence is a *i#ect &athway to #eaching )ncon*itional Love, as well as fin*ing someone
who is on this level, o# at least #es&ects it. "he#efo#e, ta7e women to Huiet an* se#ene &laces.
My favo#ite *ate setting is eithe# ?*inne# at my &lace?, o# ?*inne# at you# &lace.? She can *eci*e 5whe#e5 if she wants
to. Although many 5community5 teachings say that you shoul* +e 5the *eci*e#5, this is mainly so +ecause +eing in
cont#ol is a&&ealing an* att#active to non$integ#ous women. "he non$integ#ous a#e the one5s who *esi#e to +e
se*uce*, *ominate*, an* cont#olle*.
.ith an integ#ous woman, howeve#, allowing he# to *eci*e is what ma7es he# feel safe. "he attitu*e I li7e to ta7e is,
?"o +e with you, I woul* gla*ly eat my *inne# in the ga#+age +in in the +ac7 alley of this #estau#ant.?
8>agge#ate*, &layful wo#shi& is a won*e#ful tool, in*ee*. It ma7es women feel love*, it ma7es them laugh, an* it is
also a goo* tool fo# s&i#itual *isce#nment. A woman who *oesn5t #es&on* to this 7in* of thing is &#o+a+ly Huite
cynical an* non$integ#ous. O&enly wo#shi&ing a woman via chival#y an* co#*iality is li7e a ?test? to see if she can
han*le he#self in the &#esence of a man who #es&ects he# innate ,ivinity.
If coo7ing is not you# fo#te, that5s Huite al#ight. A halfway *ecent +ottle of wine, along with some asso#te* cheeses,
nuts, an* f#uit ma7es fo# a fantastic @an* ve#y classyA *inne# fo# two. Cust slice them all u& an* &lace them on a
woo*en cutting +oa#*, an* the two of you can Bust sha#e the cutting +oa#* instea* of using se&a#ate &lates.
"he 7ey to *ating is to #emove all se&a#ation as much as &ossi+le. Sitting ac#oss the ta+le f#om each othe# is
something I *isli7e. I much &#efe# to sit ne>t to my womanG the i*ea is so that we can +e as close as &ossi+le at all
times. Afte# *inne#, I li7e to +#ing out a nice +ottle of @at least ten$yea#$ol*A 4o#t. Cust have a small glass each,
+ecause 4o#t can get you &#etty *#un7. Ma7e su#e to have some @goo* HualityA coffee an* asso#te* teas, an* a
nice little *esse#t that you can sha#e with he#, such as one &iece of chocolate ca7e, o# one &o#tion of c#eme +#ulee.
"hese suggestions may soun* #e*un*ant, +ut you# attention to *etail an* #es&ect fo# the fine# things in life a#e what
count he#e. "hese 7in*s of things ten* to im&#ess integ#ous women, an* a#e often a 5tu#n off5 to the non$integ#ous.
By living this way, you# whole life +ecomes a se#ies of tests. By su##oun*ing you#self with +eauty an* love, you5ll
ten* to att#act +eauty an* love, an* you5ll often #e&el the non$integ#ous. So, eve#ything +ecomes a test. If she
*oesn5t #es&on* to you# 7itty with affection, o# if she gets &a#anoi* +ecause you have female &e#fume an* ma7eu&
#emove# in the +ath#oom, o# if she chugs *own he# glass of wine as if it5s +ee# an* gets waste*... now you5ve teste*
he# an* she is o+viously failing. Now you will not have waste* si> yea#s of you# life with some woman who is not
even ca&a+le of +asic integ#ity an* love. It hasn5t +een my e>&e#ience that women ?test? men, +ecause women
have #a#ely ?teste*? me at all. I am the one who is usually testing them.
Ove# the yea#s, you lea#n to ca#e ve#y *ee&ly a+out integ#ity an* loveG e>&e#ience with women teaches you to
+ecome #athe# cautious. "he single most im&o#tant thing a man can lea#n is fo# him to +e a+le to tell if a woman is
fun*amentally integ#ous o# not. .omen ten* to +e ve#y goo* acto#s, an* men a#e all too easily se*uce* via &#i*e
an* lust.
My *ating life was fille* with suffe#ing an* &ain +ecause I f#an7ly *i* not 7now the#e was such a thing as someone
who can +e com&letely ?non$integ#ous?, an* I ce#tainly *i* not 7now how to *etect them. As an integ#ous man
myself, I ma*e the naive assum&tion that most &eo&le, *ee& *own, a#e #eally ?Bust li7e me.? I then s&ent most of my
time an* ene#gy #esea#ching s&i#ituality an* e>&e#iencing #elationshi&s +ecause I *es&e#ately wante* to
un*e#stan* why it is that so many women lie, cheat, *eceive, mani&ulate, etc., an* why human #elationshi&s a#e
gene#ally so confusing an* &ainful.
"he one c#itical thing to lea#n, as has +een finally *iscove#e*, is that many women a#e non$integ#ous an* a#e
the#efo#e 100D inca&a+le of love, let alone ca&a+le of a healthy an* ha&&y o# even a 5no#mal5 #elationshi&. Again,
women *o not gene#ally ?test? me +ecause they a#e too +usy t#ying to &ass my tests. I nee* to 7now, as Huic7ly as
&ossi+le, if this woman is wo#th my time an* ene#gy o# not.
Integ#ity values an* #es&ects its own life enough to &#otect it f#om the wolves. It is ve#y *ifficult to fin* someone who
can love you in this wo#l*, the#efo#e, waste no time on shiny *ist#actions.
HO. "O =884 SOM8ON8 ?S8Y)ALLJ IN"8:8S"8,?
I sent out a f#ee$newslette# title*, ?How to 7ee& someone se>ually inte#este*?, an* an ove#whelming num+e# of
&ositive #e&lies came in f#om all ove# the wo#l*, mostly f#om men who felt it was a ve#y healing a#ticle. I will
the#efo#e inclu*e it in to*ay5s final a#ticle. 8ven if you5ve #ea* it once +efo#e, the suggestion is to go ove# it again
+ecause s&i#itual t#uth gene#ally only 5sin7s in5 with constant #e&etition.
I have also a**e* a few a**itional comments.
NNNO)8S"ION 2:OM A .OMANNNN
Hi Ste&hane,
I5ve +een a #ea*e# of you#s fo# many yea#s now, even though you w#ite mainly to men, it is o+vious that much of
what you say eHually a&&lies to +oth men L women. I5ve +een in a #elationshi& with a man @unfo#tunately he *oes
not #ea* you# newslette#sA fo# a little ove# ( yea#s, an* we5ve encounte#e* a #oa* +loc7 in ou# se> life, an* I5m
won*e#ing if you can hel& me to un*e#stan* things f#om the male &e#s&ective.
I5m not a Bealous woman, +ut I *o catch him loo7ing at ?scantily cla*? women all the time, an* it wo##ies me +ecause
ou# se> life isn5t what it use* to +e. ,o I #eally have to *#ess li7e they *oF
A#e cou&les *oome* to lose att#action fo# each othe# ove# timeF An* why is it that men seem to want women with
?fa7e +oo+s?, way too much ma7eu& on, etc., an* *a#e I say, ?Men want sluts.? Jou say that the main issue women
have is &#i*e, while the main issue fo# men is Lust. I *o notice my &#i*e, an* I wo##y that I5m Bu*gmental, es&ecially
a+out the 7in* of women men unanimously seem to want. Jou# insight woul* +e a&&#eciate*.
PPP%OMM8N"SK
Man5s g#eatest &#o+lem a#ea is in*ee* his testoste#one, an* the women who act an* *#ess li7e ?whoo#s? a#e
&e#ha&s his g#eatest wea7ness. So why *o men seem to want ?whoo#s?F It is +ecause they can &#ovi*e him with
se> that is f#ee f#om guilt. Jou see, his testoste#one gives him an en*less amount of se>ual *esi#e, fo# which he
feels inc#e*i+ly guilty. Mo#eove#, he is &a#anoi* that the woman he *oes #es&ect an* love will Bu*ge him +ecause of
his animal natu#e.
.omen a#e in*ee* heavily &#one to +eing too &#i*eful, es&ecially in this #ega#*. "o ma7e matte#s wo#se, they often
use thei# se>uality to mani&ulate what they 7now an* un*e#stan* is man5s g#eatest wea7ness, i.e., *esi#e. .hen
women ma7e themselves ?loo7 hot?, it not only lea*s to &#i*e +ut to a ce#tain 5flavo#5 of &#i*efulness calle* 5mo#al
su&e#io#ity5. "hat is, they love to mani&ulate man5s vulne#a+le wea7nesses an* then tu#n a#oun* an* say things
li7e, ?A#en5t men Bust awfulF Men a#e such *ogsI? @.e humans sec#etly love to feel that ou# mo#ality is su&e#io# to
othe# &eo&le5s mo#ality.A
So why *o men love those utte#ly useless an* fa7e things li7e high heels, ma7eu&, ?fa7e +oo+s?, +elly$+utton an*
nose &ie#cings, fa7e eyelashes, fa7e nails, an* the li7eF
4a#a*o>ically, it is +ecause men feel so guilty a+out thei# animal natu#e @testoste#one, *esi#eA an* as a #esult of this
guilt 5colo#ing5 an* *isto#ting thei# &e#ce&tion, they *on5t 7now how to ?#ea*? women. Men a#e &#etty +lin*. "hat is,
they *on5t 7now if a woman wants se> o# not, o# they *on5t 7now what 5flavo#5 o# style of se> she wants, o# when she
wants it, to what *eg#ee, etc., an* this whole a#ea can +e ve#y confusing. A** to this the well$7nown facts that
women often *eli+e#ately sen* ?mi>e* signals? an* ten* to +e gene#ally incong#uous an* #i**le* with inne#$conflict.
"he human con*ition is eHually com&le>, f#ust#ating, an* ve#y confusing on +oth si*es. Most of these issues a#e not
going to change any time soon, the#efo#e, it is +est to sim&ly acce&t these limitations as +eing &a#t an* &a#cel of
the human con*ition.
Again, as men, we often Bust can5t tell when @o# ifA ou# woman wants se>. "he#efo#e, fa7e nails, falsies, lace &anties,
su&e#$sho#t s7i#ts, &e#fume, high heels, an* hai# that has +een *ye* ?+leach +lon*? @o# even a wigA sen*s us a ve#y
clea# signal whe#e we go, ?O=. She o+viously wants it.? "hus, it isn5t so much that we want ?whoo#s?, +ut we *o
want women who want, an* clea#ly enBoy, se>uality. A ?whoo#? is mo#e li7e a ?loose? o# &#omiscuous woman, +ut
*ee& *own, we men woul* gene#ally &#efe# a woman who *#esses an* +ehaves li7e the ?whoo#?, +ut who isn5t an
actual ?whoo#.?
"o me, the#e can +e ?aslee& whoo#s? as well as ?conscious whoo#s?, so to s&ea7.
"he women who a#e ?aslee&? @i.e., unawa#e, an* inconsi*e#ateA a#e the one5s who *#ess se>y selfishly in o#*e# to
?get? things f#om men @e.g., attention, vali*ation, an* es&ecially mani&ulation$&owe#A. "hey ten* to ove#*o itG they
ove#*#ess an* come off as +eing slea/y. :ega#*less, men want se> f#om +ecause it is guilt$f#ee @she clea#ly wants
itA, +ut they *o not want #elationshi&s with such women +ecause they see them as unt#ustwo#thy.
On the othe# han*, a ?conscious whoo#? is a self$awa#e an* self$#es&ecting 7in* of woman who un*e#stan*s that
men a#e innocently &#og#amme* to #es&on* favo#a+ly to ?fa7e stuff? li7e nails an* eyelashes, an* the#efo#e gives
these gifts to he# man, +ut not to all men. She un*e#stan*s why he# man loves fa7e eye$lashes an* 7nee$highs an*
mini$s7i#ts @again, it #elieves his unconscious guilt an* wo##yA, an* has com&assion fo# him. A conscious cou&le in
this #ega#* a#e a+le to acce&t each othe#5s animal natu#e an* laugh a+out the silliness of human life togethe#,
without Bu*gment an* con*emnation. It is +ette# to wo#7 with natu#e than to #esist, #eBect, an* have en*less
o&inions a+out the way things ?shoul*? +e.
%ont#ast this with the ave#age ?aslee&? woman, fo# e>am&le, who will ?*#ess u&? when she goes out, an* then
?*#ess *own? when she is home with he# man. "his hu#ts his feelings fo# o+vious #easons. It shoul* +e the #eve#se
E *#ess nicely when you go out, +ut *#ess inc#e*i+ly se>y when you5#e home. I often #ecommen* that women
+ecome mo#e li7e a ?conscious whoo#?, in a manne# of s&ea7ing, so that way they a#e su+$communicating to thei#
man, ?I can +e that *#eam$gi#l, +ut fo# you# eyes only.?
It isn5t that we want sluts, it5s that we want you to sen* us unmista7a+le ?yes? signals when it comes to se>. ?2a7e
+oo+s? an* a little too much ma7eu& an* a +elly$+utton &ie#cing an* some high heels a#e so effective an* &owe#ful
+ecause they #emove all confusion, *ou+t, an* es&ecially unconscious guilt. .e see ou# woman wea#ing that stuff
fo# us, an* we go, ?Al#ight, she *efinitely acce&ts my animal natu#e an* she *efinitely wants se>.? "hus, it tells the
male +#ain that it is O= to &#ocee*.
A woman who *#esses an* acts li7e a ?&o#nsta#? fo# us has a *ee&ly healing effect +ecause she is su+$
communicating, ?I want it, I love it? an* she is also saying, ?I will enBoy myself even if you a#en5t a g#eat &e#fo#me#?
an* she is mo#e im&o#tantly saying, ?I love you# masculinity an* I love my femininity.?
4e#ha&s one of the wo#st e>&e#iences a man can eve# have is to *iscove# that the woman he Bust finishe* enBoying
se> with eithe# *i* not #eally, t#uly, cong#uently want it, o# *i*n5t enBoy it fo# whateve# #eason. 8ven one e>&e#ience
such as this is enough to t#aumati/e us fo# life, fo# it hits us #ight in ou# most vulne#a+le wea7 &oints, i.e.,
testoste#one$+ase* guilt, an* the wo##y that we have hu#t you +ecause we a#e so &hysically su&e#io# to you.
Again, we men a#e 7in* of ?#eta#*e*? *ue to ou# testoste#one an* unconscious issues, the#efo#e, we Bust nee* you
to sen* us c#ystal clea# signals that &#actically sc#eam, ?I want itI? .e a#e neve# enti#ely ce#tain that ou# woman
?wants it? o# not, an* we *on5t li7e to ?ma7e a move? on you unless we 7now fo# su#e that you will +e #ece&tive.
,on5t e>&ect a man to tell you, ?Ba+y, I wish you5* *#ess li7e a whoo#? +ecause we a#e em+a##asse* that we even
want this in the fi#st &lace. .e fea# that you will Bu*ge an* #eBect us, f#an7ly, +ecause we5#e men.
Ouite often, we men want you to wea# ?fa7e stuff? an* ?whoo# outfits? &a#a*o>ically +ecause we a#e goo* men. It
isn5t always +ecause we5#e evil an* na#cissistic, +ut #athe#, we nee* you to sen* clea# signals +ecause we a#e so
consi*e#ate. .e a#e often too consi*e#ate, in that we *on5t want you to feel *emeane* o# use*. Again, we have this
testoste#one an* guilt issueG we wo##y a+out hu#ting youG this is the masculine con*ition that nee*s to +e
un*e#stoo* an* acce&te*.
"estoste#one is a &owe#ful ene#gy, an* as such, it is *ifficult to manage. .ith this ene#gy, we can lift a ca# ove# ou#
shoul*e#s an* th#ow the *amn thing off a cliff if you want us to. .e can +uil* +#i*ges, houses, an* highways fo#
you, an* we can also go to wa# an* &#otect ou# count#y with this inc#e*i+le ene#gy. "o &#otect ou# woman, we will
gla*ly 7ill a thousan* men with ou# +a#e han*s if we have to. Jet at the same time, we often *on5t 7now ou# own
st#ength an* can en* u& hu#ting the woman we love. "his ene#gy also gives us a se> *#ive which is com&letely
un#easona+le an* illogical an* i##ational E Bust li7e you# female emotions ten* to +e.
Cust as a woman can +e t#uly ha&&y if she can fin* a man who un*e#stan*s that he# emotionalities a#e not &e#sonal
o# ?se#ious?, a man can also +e t#uly ha&&y if he can fin* a woman who 7nows how to sen* him clea# ?I want it, I
love it? signals +y *#essing, acting, an* s&ea7ing, an* +asically oo/ing se>uality. )nfo#tunately, men *o not
un*e#stan* women on an emotional an* social level, Bust as women ty&ically *o not un*e#stan* men on a
testoste#one level. "hese a#e what account fo# most *ating L #elationshi& issues.
.e men a#e af#ai* to have this 7in* of conve#sation with you +ecause we *on5t want you to Bu*ge us o# go on a
5mo#ally su&e#io#5 ego$t#i& a+out it. A woman is not 5mo#ally su&e#io#5 Bust +ecause men a#e ?tu#ne* on? +y fa7e hai#
wigs o# &ush$u& +#a5s. "he #eason we love these things is +ecause they let us 7now that you a#e #ea*y fo# se>. "he
last thing we eve# want to *o is hu#t you, so we ten* to not ta7e too many chances. .e5#e so accustome* to feeling
Bu*ge* that we5ve *evelo&e* a num+ness. Ou# testoste#one has ma*e us all +ehave ve#y foolishly, so when it
comes to se>, we5#e em+a##asse* to tell you what we want. .e usually Bust #e&#ess this si*e of ou#selves. "he
animal natu#e of man is a st#ong fo#ce, an* only a small &e#centage of men an* women eve# un*e#stan* it, an*
fewe# still eve# t#uly maste# it an* get it wo#7ing fo# the #elationshi& instea* of against the #elationshi&.
On a simila# note, the main #eason we li7e women who a&&ea# to +e of lesse# intelligence o# act li7e Ma#ylin
Mon#oe is +ecause c#iticalness is often confuse* with intelligence. In #eality, howeve#, c#iticalness an*
Bu*gmentalism *o not in*icate intelligence at all E Huite the cont#a#y. "hus, we men a#e so accustome* to *ealing
with women who have negative, c#itical, 5mo#ally su&e#io#5 attitu*es, an* we5#e so use* to *ealing with 5victim
mentalities5 an* &a#anoi* an* highly *efensive women who love to ?feel hu#t? all the time that we5ve *evelo&e* a
7in* of num+ness whe#e we *on5t tell women what we want, what we li7e, an* what we thin7 a+out +ecause ?we
Bust *on5t want to go the#e.? .e5* #athe# not hu#t you# feelings an* em+a##ass ou#selves. It5s easie# to Bust ?not go
the#e? an* sec#etly watch a little &o#n instea*.
It isn5t that we want women of lesse# intelligence, +ut #athe#, we *on5t want to +e a#oun* women that a#e c#itical,
*efensive, &a#anoi*, Bu*gmental, 5mo#ally su&e#io#5, an* the li7e. "hese 7in* of women a#e often thought of as +eing
?sma#t?, +ut actually they a#e Bust highly negative, &u#itanical, cynical, an* annoying to +e a#oun*. "hey love to feel
ang#y @an* es&ecially ?hu#t?A, an* we men often ma7e the mista7e of +laming ou#selves fo# ou# woman5s *efects.
Ma#ylin Mon#oe was inc#e*i+ly att#active to men, not +ecause she was of infe#io# intelligence, +ut +ecause she was
not o&inionate*. She smile* all the time, was Boyful, an* laughe* at ou# lame Bo7es. She ma*e us feel att#active,
an* she alleviate* ou# ?man guilt? +y a&&ea#ing to *ee&ly acce&t ou# animal natu#e. So it isn5t so much that we want
an intellectually infe#io# woman so that we can feel su&e#io# to he#, +ut instea*, we @integ#ousA men want women
who can &layfully ?&lay *um+? +ecause it ma7es us feel t#uste*G an o&inionate* woman is intute* as not t#usting us,
an* not t#uly wanting us. "he intellect *oes not #eally se#ve ou# #elationshi&s. "he min* is g#eat fo# solving math
&#o+lems, +ut the Silent Min* which is f#ee f#om o&inionation lea*s to t#ue Love. In .omani/e, I call this state,
?,ivine Stu&i*ity? an* it is a maBo# 7ey when *oing 5&ic7u&5 as well as in *ating an* #elationshi&s. @It ma7es life
e>t#emely easy.A
A**itional %ommentsK
Anothe# #eason men #es&on* #athe# &#ofoun*ly to ?fa7e tits?, eyelash e>tensions, ?fa7e nails? an* the li7e, is *ue to
the fact that the human min* is not ca&a+le of telling the *iffe#ence +etween t#uth an* falsehoo*, no# can it tell the
*iffe#ence +etween that which is #eal ve#sus that which is imagine*. "his has +een *emonst#ate* scientifically, fo#
e>am&le, whe#e a &e#son can ta7e an ine#t suga# &ill, +ut if they a#e tol* it is me*icine an* they +elieve it, the ine#t
&ill will +e &#ocesse* +y the min*$+o*y as a me*icine which then cu#es whateve# ailment they a#e tol* it will cu#e,
i.e., the 5&lace+o effect5.
Also, it is well$*ocumente* that un*e# hy&nosis, a &e#son can +e tol* that ?you will now +e +u#ne* with a lit
ciga#ette?, an* even though the hy&notist me#ely touches them with a &encil, the &atients5 s7in actually +u#ns an*
*evelo&s a +liste#. "hus, the min* is li7e a com&ute# which will &lay vi#tually any softwa#e &#og#am we give it. If the
min* +elieves something is #eal, it will #es&on*, an* the min* ten*s to +elieve most of what that it sees, hea#s,
feels, o# thin7s.
.hen a woman is wea#ing ?fa7e stuff?, the min* &#ocesses these things as if they a#e actually #eal. 8ven though on
one level, we 7now she is wea#ing +lush an* li&stic7, yet on anothe# level, the min* actually +elieves the woman is
?in heat? +ecause he# chee7s an* li&s seem to +e fille* with +loo*. Although a man can loo7 at a woman5s ?fa7e
tits? an* thin7 to himself, ?"hose a#e fa7e, she &#o+a+ly can5t +e t#uste*, I *on5t li7e he#, she5s immo#al?, #ega#*less
of &e#sonal o&inion an* +elief systems, his min* is simultaneously &#ocessing those ?fa7e tits? as if they a#e #eal,
an* his +o*y usually #es&on*s in 7in*. He can mo#ali/e an* c#itici/e all he wants, +ut while he is tal7ing to himself,
his +o*y$min* a#e still li7ely #es&on*ing to those ?fa7e tits? +ecause again, the min* cannot tell the *iffe#ence
+etween t#uth an* falsehoo*, o# imagination ve#sus #eality.
Now, since the +o*y$min* ten*s to #es&on* #athe# &ositively to all of that ?fa7e stuff? that women wea#, an* yet at
the same time the min* loves to c#itici/e an* mo#ali/e a+out them an* fo#m o&inions in o#*e# to su+se#ve it5s
a**iction to feeling 5mo#ally su&e#io#5, this #esults in what is often an immo+ili/ing inne# conflict. "he +o*y is
sc#eaming, ?JesI? while the min* is mo#ali/ing, ?NoI? .hen the yes$no #es&onse #eaches a ce#tain emotional
intensity, then hesitation, social &a#anoia, an* *efensiveness ensue. It is the#efo#e im&o#tant fo# the woul*$+e
?.omani/e#? to sim&ly +ecome awa#e of these &atte#ns. @Jou *on5t have to 5*o5 anything a+out you# min*5s
negative &atte#ns, Bust Notice9.itness9O+se#ve9.atch them an* let <o* wo##y a+out you# healing. ?"he less you
5*o5, the +ette# off you5ll Be?, an* this inclu*es the #elationshi& you have with you# own min*. It *oesn5t nee* to +e
5fi>e*5, an* no 5t#ou+leshooting5 o# 5analy/ing5 is #eHui#e*. Cust the willingness to See.A
In #eality, ?fa7e tits? an* ?fa7e eyelashes? a#e not goo*, no# a#e they +a*. "hey a#e not mo#ally co##ect o# inco##ect.
"hey a#e not 5fai#5 no# a#e they 5unfai#5. "hey a#e not 5w#ong5 no# a#e they 5#ight5. In t#uth, the only thing that can +e
sai* a+out them is that they A#e. "hey e>ist. "o a** any fu#the# commenta#y a+out them is to 5co&y an* &aste5
@&#oBectA meaning whe#e the#e is no such meaning. Nothing means anything o# something else. If a woman wea#s
?falsies? it *oes not 5mean5 that she is insecu#e o# immo#al, it sim&ly means that she is wea#ing falsies. "o a**
anything to this is to hallucinate o# &#oBect, which lea*s to a feeling of se&a#ation f#om women. It also lea*s to inne#
conflict, which in tu#n lea*s to guilt, shame, &a#anoia, etc.
"he man who loo7s at a st#i&&e# an* mo#ali/es a+out he# is &um&ing himself full of unconscious guilt an* shame
+ecause while he is c#itici/ing he# in his min*, his +o*y *oesn5t ca#e a+out his o&inions +ecause his +o*y is an
animal which is *esigne* to +ecome ?tu#ne* on? +y va#ious cues, such as hi&$to$waist #atio, o# +lon* hai# @+ecause
+lon* hai# is associate* with youth an* vitalityA, o# #e**ene* chee7s an* full li&s @+ecause they tell the +#ain that
she is 5in heat5A, an* so on. .hile he mo#ali/es an* inwa#*ly #eBects the woman ?+ecause she5s Bust a no$goo*
whoo#?, he simultaneously #eBects his own +o*y @?I shoul*n5t +e 5tu#ne* on5 +y an immo#al womanI?A an* is even
#eBecting himself an* <o*, fo# in "#uth, he is One with the woman an* One with <o*. "his inne# conflict then #esults
in guilt, shame, an* &a#anoi* fea#s of eventual #etaliation f#om women.
"o let go of mo#alistic, &u#itanical, c#itical +eliefs, you only nee* to .itness the min* as it is thin7ing o# tal7ing, an*
while you .itness it, sim&ly fo#give the min*. It is #athe# easy to fo#give it when you #eali/e that the min* has +een
innocently &#og#amme* f#om a va#iety of e>te#nal sou#ces such as #eligious u&+#inging, one5s &a#ents an* teache#s
attitu*es, an* so on. Again, the min* ten*s to a+so#+ almost any &#og#am that it is fe*, an* it has no way of
*efen*ing itself. "his is why it is im&o#tant, fo# e>am&le, to stay away f#om non$integ#ous me*ia, such as ?gansta
#a&?, ?#eality "1 shows?, violent vi*eo games, etc., +ecause the min* is li7e a s&onge which a+so#+s Bust a+out
anything is it fe*. @One #eason I ma*e this .omani/e &#og#am into a !0$*ay &#og#am is so that you# min* woul* +e
consistently ?fe*? with the 7in* of s&i#itual info#mation which ten*s to heal the min*. I coul* have easily ma*e this
into an e+oo7, +ut stu*ies have shown that the maBo#ity of &e#sons neve# #ea* mo#e than one cha&te# of any +oo7
they &u#chase. Also, stu*ies have shown that it ta7es a+out !0 *ays fo# a new ha+it to get c#eate*, an* so the i*ea
he#e is to get the #ea*e# to fo#m a *aily s&i#itual ha+it.A
ISS)8S .I"H .I"N8SS$<A;IN<
Stu*ents have often #e&o#te* that they *on5t ?get? how to .itness$ga/e, an* some have even #e&o#te* that they
feel wo#se, o# that thei# social s7ills have gotten wo#se instea* of +ette#. S&i#itual tools ten* to +#ing u& all of one5s
#e&#esse* emotions, which can initially +e Huite ove#whelming. Shoul* .itnessing &#ove to +e too *ifficult fo#
whateve# #eason, the#e is anothe# me*itative techniHue that can +e use* in it5s &lace. Namely, to sim&ly +ecome
awa#e of one5s +#eathing.
As un+elieva+le as it may soun*, to +e awa#e of one5s +#eathing lea*s to a highe# state of awa#eness in *ue time.
"his is +ecause the only way to +e awa#e of one5s +#eathing is to Huiet the min* an* Be in the 8te#nal Now
moment. Any &#actice that Huiets the min* an* +#ings one5s focus away f#om the &ast o# futu#e lea*s *i#ectly to
Heaven. Anything that tu#ns you away f#om the min*, an* into the Now, lea*s you to <o*.
"he main *ifficulty is that of #e&#esse* emotions, which will come u&, +ut then again, they can +e heale* +y sim&ly
continuing to +e awa#e of one5s +#eathingI Anothe# *ifficulty that a#ises is that the min* will initially want to #esist
s&i#itual &#actices +ecause it is sec#etly in com&etition with <o*. "he min* wants to +e se&a#ate f#om <o*, an*
actually wants to +elieve that it alone is <o*. "hus, it &uts u& #esistance +ecause it fea#s its own *issolution. "he
only thing #eHui#e* is the continual 7in*ness an* fo#giveness of the ego$self, along with the &#actice of conscious
+#eathing.
If all you *o, is +e 7in* to, an* fo#give you# ego, an* &#actice +eing awa#e of you# +#eathing, it5ll actually ta7e you all
the way u& th#ough the levels of consciousness. As the ego me#ges +ac7 into the S&i#it Self, all suffe#ing
&#og#essively ceases, while inne# Coy ta7es its &lace.
Still have fea# of #eBectionF Still can5t a&&#oach womenF
,on5t wo##y a+out it. Be 7in* to you# ego, +#eathe consciously, an* get you# life &#e&a#e* fo# you# futu#e gi#lf#ien*
+y ma7ing you# home comfo#ta+le, wa#m, clean, inviting, an* +eautiful. Cust *o these th#ee things, an* let <o*
wo##y a+out the #est. Jou *on5t have to ?*o? anything to heal you#self, othe# than +eing 7in* to you# ego, fo#giving it
continually, +#eathing in an* out consciously, an* su##oun*ing you#self with cleanliness an* +eauty. Jou can th#ow
away this enti#e .omani/e &#og#am an* +ecome an a+solute maste# with women if you Bust follow those th#ee
sim&le things with *aily consistency. If it ta7es a few months o# even a yea# o# two, so whatF "he 7ey though, is
you a+solutely must *evelo& *aily consistency, an* lea#n to function in the wo#l* while +eing 7in* to all of life an*
awa#e of you# +#eathing. Jou must lea#n to me*itate as +est you can in eve#ything that you *o. It *oes ta7e
&#actice, +ut soon the min* lea#ns to +ehave itself +ecause s&i#itual &#actices +#ing in an ove#whelming amount of
Boy, &eace, +liss, an* en*o#&hins. Me*itation is ve#y *ifficult at fi#st, +ut if you 5&low th#ough5 the min*5s initial
#esistances @+y +eing 7in* an* fo#giving towa#* itA, the #ewa#*s a#e so g#eat E un+elieva+ly g#eat.
Jou5ve committe* to #ea*ing these a#ticles fo# !0 *ays, +ut now the time has come fo# you to stan* alone. "he
g#eat maBo#ity of #ea*e#s a#e actually going to not a&&ly what they5ve lea#ne* in this &#og#am. "he +ul7 of my
#ea*e#s a#e going to allow the ego to *ominate, an* they will not fin* Love in this lifetime. :ight now, as you #ea*
these wo#*s, as un+elieva+le as it soun*s to the left$+#ain s7e&tical cynic &a#t of the min*, the sim&le *ecision to
sta#t +eing 7in* to the ego, an* &#actice +eing consciously awa#e of you# +#eathing E sta#ting #ight now E is the
num+e# one 7ey *ecision that you can ma7e which will t#ansfo#m you# enti#e life. :ight now, you coul*, if you
wante* to, ma7e the commitment to +e 7in* at all times, an* to +e awa#e of you# +#eathing as +est you can, fo# the
ne>t thi#ty *ays.
Jou coul* sta#t to +ecome awa#e of you# +#eathing #ight now, an* when you get u& an* wal7 a#oun* the house, you
can still #emain conscious, an* while you ma7e *inne#, you can still manage to *o this sim&le &#actice, o# any othe#
sim&le s&i#itual &#actice, of which the#e a#e many that have +een sha#e* in this &#og#am. "he#e is no *ecision you
can ma7e that is mo#e im&o#tant than this *ecision #ight now. "he fate of you# ete#nal soul, as well as you# human
lifetime, Huite lite#ally *e&en*s on whethe# o# not you a#e going to use what you5ve lea#ne* he#e with *aily
consistency. An* #emem+e#, even no#mal citi/ens woul* ha&&ily to#tu#e an* 7ill you un*e# the #ight ci#cumstances.
I say these 7in*s of things, not to c#eate &a#anoia, +ut to wa7e +oth you#self as well as myself u& to the fact that it
is a+solutely c#itical fo# us to ove#come the ego an* su##en*e# to <o*5s Love, ASA4 E fo# ou# own sa7e, as well as
fo# the #est of man7in* who is still unfo#tunately *ee&ly aslee& in the nightma#e of ,enial. 2o# all of us he#e on
8a#th, love is the only answe#.
An* with all of that sai*, I than7 you fo# Boining me he#e, it has +een a Boy to se#ve you. 2eel f#ee to come visit us on
the 2o#um at any time.