ANGEL

penned by Charles Burnell 2011

Being reborn. The butt of so many jokes. As if you can become something entirely ne. !esterday is
gone. "o far into the past that it ne#er happened. $ike a #irgin. %resh and clean. &hat does a shoer
get me' &hat if ( use anti)bacterial soap' There*s a ne life hiding at the bottom of that pump bottle.
+efreshing. Clean. ,ure. %or only --. you too can be reborn/
0o ( ha#e to die to be reborn' (f ( don*t die first1 means ( ha#e to li#es. 0ual li#es1 like dual
citi2enship. ( can be good A30 bad. &hy not' That &45$0 be more balanced. (n theory. ( ill ne#er
be balanced. Because ( died1 before ( as reborn. (*#e died se#eral times. And there as that angel...
A fine layer of hair. $ike "inead 4*Connor. Thin Beautiful. Cool and 6uiet. %rom nohere. 3o puff of
smoke. 3o fairy dust. ( didn*t e#en ha#e time to make a ish. And ith the blanket. Around me.
Ama2ing.
Cool blue pools. 7yes so deep and pure. ( reflection of hea#en. ( as reborn in her arms. And she as
gone. 3obody sa her. "he as ne#er there. $ike magic. %abric. 8aterial. 8ateriali2ed. 8agically.
%rom nohere. 9one. 3ot here.
But its here in my arms. (t has to be real. ( as :7+7 in her arms. "he :A0 to be real. "o 6uick and
light. &ithout breath or thought. ( died before her and as reborn in her arms ith only the tall pines as
itness.
:e said ( as cra2y. 8aking it all up. :e should ha#e died. &ho sa#ed him' (*ll ne#er kno. ,ure
stroke of luck. :e must be the bad for my good. 8y enabler. 8y justification. ;ustify. 8ystify. (ts all a
lie. "tory. Tell them a story and they*ll shut up. Buy in. ,ay up. --. +ebirth in a bottle. "aniti2er.
"he as smooth though. "ilky. 3ot sterile. 3ot like soap or alcohol. 8ore like a sea bree2e. "alt air
breathes life into the dusty corpse. "uddenly the beach is flooded. Thick hite foam rises. Coating.
This doesn*t feel clean. 4r ali#e. Theres enough salt here to kill anything. $ittle death becomes a big
death. +ebirth transforms into afterlife. 0oes that mean ( don*t get another chance' (s this all thats left
o#er' ( anted more. 8y greedy little soul anted her to sa#e me again. 4ne more chance to feel her
angelic arms around me. To feel her ings lift up. 8y soul.
To crush the ice1 lift the bag high. Thrust it hard. ,oerfully. Toards the earth. "hatter all the bricks
into splinters of rebirth. %ill a glass and offer her a drink. (ts the least you can do after she sa#ed your
life.