Dilemma into Practice

2096106

Introduction
Strong and valuable relationships between teacher and student are vital for student learner
wellbeing. In light of the dilemma I encountered (see attached) I can see that Tom is lacking
in meaningful relationships in his life and I was someone whom Tom had trusted. He had
shared with me an incident that had happened when he had been physically abused by his
drunken father over the Christmas holidays. The issue was dealt with by the police and was
also shared with important school members. I have recently found out that there is a social
worker working beside Tom and his family.
Tom is a grade 3 boy whose parents is separated and has been physically, verbally and
emotionally abused by his father. Through observation I have noticed that Tom also is
bullied a lot by his peers at school and often tell people I hate my life. Through that
relationship I had made with Tom it makes me believe that these issues are linked with his
wellbeing.
Parent Separation
Amato (1991) has hypothesised that children of divorced parent often experience a
decrease in parental attention, help, and supervision. Therefore there is a possibility of this
can increase the likelihood of problems, such as academic failure, low self-esteem, and
misbehaviour. Also the lack of parental models in the household may result in the
inadequate learning of social skills (such as cooperating, negotiating, and compromising)
necessary for success in a broad array of environments.
Amato (1991) also states conflict between parents is very stressful for the child and the
hostility creates an aversive home environment in which children experience stress,
unhappiness, and insecurity. Prolonging of these experiences can become inbuilt characters
and carried with them to school.
I have noticed that these hypothesis made by Amato (1991) may be directly related to Toms
wellbeing issues. The tension between Toms parents and the abuse that Tom receives from
his father effects Toms wellbeing, therefore aspects of his learning. Tom is often highly
stressed in overwhelming situations this would be because of his insecurity and lack of

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confidence and those characters of stress, unhappiness and insecurity are often seen on a
daily basis.
Wellbeing
Strong teacher student relationships are especially important for Tom because he lacks
other important relationships in his life. Positive relationships offer many skills vital for
everyday life such as support, communication, negotiation, problem solving, confidence,
cooperation, compromising etc. However, it seems as if Tom has deficient positive
relationships and too many negative relationships which are potentially damaging. Negative
relationships often include people who put another down, put blame onto another, have
low expectations of another, often doubt others etc.
The 2007 DECD learner wellbeing framework (accessed via Burrow, 2011) recognises four
domains of educator practice which either positively or negatively impact on and effect the
learner wellbeing. These four domains include the learner environment; curriculum and
pedagogy; partnership; policies and procedures.
When a childs wellbeing is taken care of children are able to feel happiness and be healthy.
According to Burrow (2011) there are five dimensions of wellbeing, these include cognitive;
emotional; physical; social; and spiritual; that interconnect with each other to provide
learners with resilience and confidence.
These dimensions are all communicated through the curriculum. For me the obvious
dimensions seem to be cognitive, physical and social, that are put into practice though
schools on a daily basis. However, emotional and spiritual are two that seen to be not so
obvious in an everyday school context that are vital for learner wellbeing.
Maslows theory suggesting the influence of emotional needs on learning, teachers are
encouraged to develop students social and emotional skills as basic skills alongside
academic skills to educate the whole child (Elias et al, 2006). Tom, being someone that is
lacking his emotional needs requires the some of these basic skills that are not only to
improve his school life but to give him the skills that are necessary adulthood.

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Spiritual wellbeing for me in an educational context would include understanding of self,

self motivation, stress management, personal values and finding meaning and purpose in
life. Which are some aspects that are really neglected from Toms wellbeing and could be
linked to his confidence and social skills.
There are many great program that could be implemented in Toms class to address some of
these issues in a safe secure environment. One that I looked more in depth into was
program achieve which have great seminars and age pacific booklets with activities and
lesson plans in order to build the social and emotional strengths of young people. These
activities could be well adapted to the classrooms to build stronger relationships by building
these social skills that some people struggle to develop (Bernard, 1997).
Bullying
If Tom does happen to find someone who he can connect with, it is usually children that are
much younger than him, which makes me wonder that it could be because he lacks certain
social skills that allow him to communicate and to be able to fit in with peers his age.
However, Tom will usually get bullied by older children and children his own age, this could
be why he is also drawn to play with children that are younger. Tom is one that often
severely suffers from being bullied and cops verbal abuse from other children according to
the research of DeVoe et al. (2004) verbal abuse and bullying has increased. Bulling can be
extremely harmful to children and I think it is even more damaging for Tom because he not
only is bullied by children at school and is has a lack of friends and support, but is also
bullied by his father.
When Tom is bullied he is often quick to react and responds in anger. I believe this is due to
Tolles (1999) pain-body theory, which is a mechanism in each of us that feeds on painful
emotions. Tom has encountered painful experiences which are drawn from watching the
conflict from parent separation and from copping abuse from his father. When Tom is
bullied at school by the other children, in many circumstances he often goes into a painbody reaction were the drama is quickly escalated and he cannot reason properly. This can
also be very stimulating for other children who like to bully, because they have gained the
large reaction they were seeking.

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Tom often says he hates his life. I believe that this could be due to Tom often feeling as if he
does not belong in this world, because he is not accepted by his own father and many of the
students at his school from all ages.
If Tom was a student in my classroom I could never ensure safety outside the classroom,
however, I could offer support and safety within the classroom. Tom needs to be in learning
environment where acceptance is promoted to build his confidence to develop his learning.
If all students are accepting of other students according to Shindler (2010) this could reduce
the amount of bullying that occurs within the classroom walls.
Shindler (2010) suggests that bullying is an area where teachers and staff need to have a
fixed expectation. There should be no tolerance for put-downs, verbal abuse, name-calling
and bullying otherwise your students will not feel safe. He also recommends that it could be
helpful to create an expectation that in class affirming or positive language is used for
example we only say things that make us better (pg 308). This will hopefully ensure that
no matter what is happening outside the classroom and in their home-life the students feel
safe from abuse and bullying inside the classroom.
Rigby (2002) mention ways that bullying could be reduced. One of the ways suggested that
would help to reduce the amount that Tom is bullying would be teaching problem-solving
skills and positive interaction skills (Rigby, 2002). I believe this would be extremely helpful
to teach Tom the skills to deal with bullies because I believe currently he lack the knowledge
and communication skills to avoid being bullying because these are likely to be as, or more,
helpful than programmes that emphasise rules and consequences to discourage bullying
(Rigby, 2004).
I think that Tom could really benefit from having the skills to make friends his peers his own
age. I have notice when Tom gains the support from at least one student his own age he will
get left alone by the bullies. I believe this is because there is often power is numbers and
according to Shindler (Ch 7, 2010) acceptance is essential to a young persons mental health.
Reflection on learning
Overall I have learnt that it will be vital for me as a future teacher to make positive
relationships with all students to be able to understand their current situations to gain

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insight to get the most out of their learning. Relationships are one of the most important
things in the classroom because it will be one the greatest impact on students learning and
future.
I have learned just from reflecting on Toms situation that it is quick to jump to conclusions
and assume that dont really children have a reason for the way they act. After reviewing
Toms situation I have found that Tom is a misunderstood boy who just sometimes needs
someone to talk to.
When becoming a teacher I will encounter students with backgrounds that are simular and
some students that will come from a completely different circumstance and background.
However, either way it will be important for me to find the reasons behind the behaviours
to cater for all aspect of wellbeing to gain the most from their learning.
Conclusion
Through building a strong relationship with Tom, he was able to trust me enough to tell me
his hurtful story. Tom is someone who has trouble gaining acceptance from other children,
however, through critical analysis I have discovered different aspect and found new pieces
of the puzzle of the dilemma. Before this analysis I did not stop to think before other
children bully Tom because he lacks certain social skills that able him to cooperate,
negotiate and compromise with other children. These are potentially drawn from a lack of
confidence made by the negative relationships in his life.
It is important for teachers to work with Tom to promote and encourage positive
relationships facilitate for all dimensions of wellbeing. There is a need to turn Toms
negative aspect that he hates so much about his life and to promote positivity for Tom to
possibly find the enjoyable, likeable aspects of his life instead of his while he is at a young
and venerable stage of life.
References
Amato, P R. (1991). Parental divorce and the well-being of children: A meta-analysis.
Psychological bulletin, 110(1), 26.

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Bernard, M.E. (1997). Program Achieve for grades 5& 6. 2nd ed. You Can Do IT! ASG's
education program.
Burrows, L. (2011). Fostering the wellbeing for learning connection. Shannon Research Press:
Adelaide
DeVoe, J., Peter, K., Kaufman, P., Ruddy, S., Miller, A., Planty, M., Snyder, T., et al. (2004).
Indicators of school crime and safety, topic: Elementary and secondary education. Statistical
Data Report. National Centre for Educational Statistics. Rockville, MD.
Elias, M.J.,& Schwab, Y. (2006). From compliance to responsibility: social and
emotional learning and classroom management. In C.M Everston & C.S Weinstein
(Eds.), Handbook of classroom management: Research, practice and contemporary
issues (pp. 309-3=2) Hillsadale, NJ: Erlbaum
Rigby, K. (2002). How successful are anti-bullying programs for schools? Paper presented at
The Role of Schools in Crime Prevention Conference convened by the Australian Institute of
Criminology in conjunction with the Department of Education, Employment and Training.
Melbourne: Victoria and Crime Prevention Victoria.
Shindler, J. (2010). Transformative classroom management. positive strategies to engage all
students and promote a psychology of success. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
Tolle, E. (1999). The power of now. Vancouver, Canada: Namaste Publishing.