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The Joy of Tech-. by Nitrozae & Snagsy Secret Features of Apple's new Headquarters (One ring to rule them all) Note: building will actually be shapedlike apentagram, | _Colosseum-like seats for (Spointed star being crowds to watch feeding of added after Coundl approval. gay Flash developers tothe lions Giant tp a (fils courtyard with water and creates 3 pool) racing track. io? insisted Witha touch of button, Partof building whete (located in Steves office) no one is allowed to go. curved glass becomes aaTP™ 4 = (tesempty,but adds alittle magnifying glass, to fry a mystery tothe place) incompetent employees. "4 Building snaps off at Hydraulic hinges to lift foundation, incase arace building on its side and ao ‘wants 10 use it as ‘activate the Stargate, an Aerobie fying dic. Underground Particle Accelerator, (where Apple techs accelerate Android phones and smash them to atoms.) BD) Missile sio,with a larger ‘warhead than one at old ‘Apple headquarters, (itsstl targeted at ric Schmidt) Rat mee en

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