The Joy of Tech-. by Nitrozae & Snagsy
Secret Features of Apple's new Headquarters
(One ring to rule them all)
Note: building will actually
be shapedlike apentagram, | _Colosseum-like seats for
(Spointed star being crowds to watch feeding of
added after Coundl approval. gay Flash developers tothe lions Giant tp
a (fils courtyard with
water and creates 3 pool)
racing track.
io? insisted
Witha touch of button, Partof building whete
(located in Steves office) no one is allowed to go.
curved glass becomes aaTP™ 4 = (tesempty,but adds alittle
magnifying glass, to fry a mystery tothe place)
incompetent employees.
"4 Building snaps off at
Hydraulic hinges to lift foundation, incase arace
building on its side and ao ‘wants 10 use it as
‘activate the Stargate, an Aerobie fying dic.
Underground Particle Accelerator,
(where Apple techs accelerate
Android phones and smash
them to atoms.) BD) Missile sio,with a larger
‘warhead than one at old
‘Apple headquarters,
(itsstl targeted at
ric Schmidt)
Rat mee en