Caden Arnold

Comm 1010
Interpersonal Theme Paper
carnol24@bruinmail.slcc.edu
10/2/2014
Communication is one of those many aspects in our life that is very unavoidable. No
matter where you go or what do, your are always going to have to use communication in one
form or another. Communication is a large, very important element in any job, classroom, or any
social aspect of life. Without communication, how would we interact with one another, or
accomplish tasks which interaction was required? The answer is its simply impossible. But there
is one key ingredient to communication which plays a very significant role. The name of this
ingredient is called listening, without this, communication would absolutely not exist without
any form of listening involved.
Listening is a very important element in communication, without listening, we would
quite literally be lost without it. We could talk all we wanted to, but with the absence of
listening, everything we said would go through one ear out the other of the person we were
trying to communicate with. But we are lucky enough to have a trait like this which prevents
that from happing. Good listening is a great skill for every on to have, but it doesnt come very
easy. Listening isnt something that is there, or runs automatically, giving us the ability to pick
up every last word. We would like to think it is a passive trait, which unfortunately its not. In
reality it can be extremely hard work to listen to what people have to say, especially in high
pressure situations where focus is key. It would be very nice if listening was passive, you could
do anything you wanted in class, but still take in every last word your professor says (pg. 60).

Because listening is a concept we have to strive to use, we have to actually put a good
deal of effort into listening to what someone has to say. This can be a challenge, especially when
barriers which can affect how well we listen get in the way. Certain obstructions taking place in
our environment can make a huge impact on how well we are able to listen to someone in any
setting. Good examples of this range in anything from a noisy work place like a construction site,
or a factory with a large quantity of machinery running at the same time. Noises from our
surroundings arent the only things that are included in environmental barriers. Depending on
how comfortable or uncomfortable we are in our environment can take a toll on how well we
listen. Even electronic devices such as smartphones and IPods we allow in our environment can
affect our listening skills, especially if you are using them while your full attention is needed,
like listening to music when a person is trying to speak to you (pg. 62).
Physiological barriers can also have a rather large impact on how well we listen to others.
Hearing deficiencies are unfortunately something that happens to a large population of people
that can be either permanent or temporary. But issues like permanent hearing loss is something
we unfortunately cant reverse (Adler, Elmhorst. 60). Take for example my Grandpa, he has lost
the majority of his hearing due to loud machinery he dealt with while in the Navy and not
wearing proper ear protection when hunting. Even though he has hearing aids, which make it a
lot easier for him to hear, it can still be very difficult for us to communicate with him. We have
gotten used to the fact he has the hearing aids, so when he doesnt have the devices in, we still
talk to him at a normal volume because weve grown accustom to him wearing the hearing aids.
But the invention is useful (when he wears them) because it allows him to listen to what we have
to say, instead of making us yell at him because he cant hear.

Given, there are physical barriers we cant help that can hinder our ability to listen well.
There are also things that are psychological allowing us to lose focus because we are paying
more attention to what is going on in our brains, than on the conversation at hand. A huge issue
when it comes to the psychological barriers of listening is preoccupation. This barrier can affect
listening in large way due to the fact all the things happening in someones business and personal
lives can enter the mind at very inconvenient moments. It can cause you to lose concentration on
what youre doing in the moment, and focus on what you have to do when you get home, or
think a paper you have do for another class. This is what makes psychological barriers an issue,
especially when youre daydreaming during subject matter that is important (pg. 63).
Because of our rapid advancement in technology, we now have a greater chance of
dealing with a lovely distraction called message overload. Now a days, we have plenty of
devices capable of receiving messages or phone calls. This gives message overload the chance to
make us focus on incoming messages we may receive, rather than the conversation we may
currently be involved in. Because of this, it has allowed people to believe they have the unique
ability to multi-task. According to neurological evidence, people simply arent good at doing
multiple tasks at the same time (Adler, Elmhorst. 63-64). Face to Face conversations can be
improved a lot by putting down, or turning off any devices you may have around you, to
eliminate additional messages distracting you during a conversation.
The next psychological barrier isnt only bad for the person who has it, but it can also be
very annoying to the people who happen to be involved in conversation with them. Egocentrism
is where a person neglects to listen to anyone elses ideas or comments because they believe they
already know everything about the subject(s) being discussed. Self-centered listeners are rated
lower on social attractiveness than communicators open to others ideas (Adler, Elmhorst. 64).

Because egocentric people are closed minded to ideas that arent theirs, it can have a negative
effect on them because this makes were they dont learn anything new because of their state of
mind.
Just like listening barriers, humans do not all have the same listening techniques.
Research has identified that people have a general listening style, or a particular motivation for
listening (Adler, Elmhorst. 65). We all have our own different way of listening during a
conversation and paying attention to certain details while immersed in discussion. Relational
listening is a form of listening that is more focused around the emotion coming from the
individual we are in conversation with. These type of listeners are usually not judgmental, this
makes it an effective form of listening because it gives the listener a chance to create a good
connection with whomever they may be talking to. Although having a good relationship is
obviously important when involved in conversation with someone, but it can also have a
negative side. Relational listeners can become too emotionally involved in the subject they may
be discussing, which can lead them to being perceived as a nuisance because of their
overwhelming efforts to get attached at a personal level (65).
Not all people listen on an emotional level, some people listen to the entirety of a
message before they make their judgments. They want to hear details and analyze an issue from
a variety of perceptions (Adler, Elmhorst. 65). This form of listening is classified as analytical
listening. Analytical listeners are valued in the work place because they are good at completing
assignments in challenging situations. Same a relational listening, analytical listening has its own
list of setbacks. One being, analytical listeners can take a long time to conclude their thoughts.
This can become an issue, especially when a deadline for a project is on the horizon (pg. 65).

Though there are many problems involved in listening, there are methods out there we
can use to improve or advance our listening abilities. The list of techniques we can use to help
our skills includes withholding your judgment, talking and interrupting less, and asking
questions. These are just a few examples of the many methods you can use to help you with your
listening skills. Asking questions is probably one of the easier tools to improve your listening
and understanding of other people. But methods like not interrupting and withholding judgment
may not be such an easy task, mostly because we can interrupt and judge people without even
realizing were doing it (68).
Because we are aware of the fact there are ways listening can either be improved or
diminished, it can help us down the road in mastering the skill that essential for us to
communicate with the people around us. Making us better listeners and communicators overall.