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Justin Perez
Professor Tyberg
10/19/14

Childhood for Drugs

What makes a man change? Importantly, how does it happen? I did not bear a full closest
of clothes and had socks with craters. My dad traded practically everything that was significant
from my childhood, even his own life for drugs. My inner strength came from my father and I
had the power to change my life to not become like him. Just like the author from journal entry
number 65 whose father stripped away his childhood, mine was also ruined.
The journal entry, 65 from, The Freedom Writers Diary, represented how the dad did
not work and made the mother work. The author explained that her working was actually her
standing out in the streets with a homeless sign. The author quotes I told them how he makes
my mother go out because he doesnt want to get up off his butt and get a job to provide for us.
The father used the money to buy cocaine and traded the familys food for money. The father
also used the money recycled from beer bottles to buy more beer. My mother supported the
family by working hard and full time, while my dad, being enraged by the inferiority complex
crawled to using drugs. The times I thought he was drunk was actually him being high. I found
out years later that at the times we stayed home during that summer he went out with neighbors
to experiment on How to make drugs 101. He started mixing chemicals he said and
commented to me to stay away from that shit.
I remember that one summer as if it were yesterday. The days past by and nothing
changed; I never worried where my dad went, only if I felt hungry. I starved but luckily I had
cereal which I ate for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I woke up in the afternoon the whole summer.

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My daily routine after I woke up from my slumber was to turn on the television. I did it
subconsciously in order to not feel alone in my house but as a child I wanted to watch cartoons.
What aired on Cartoon Network at twelve to two was Tom and Jerry and then after random
cartoons I didnt like. Sometimes I would find my dad watching Family Guy or South Park on
the couch I slept on. I asked him if he had work and he would shout, Dont you have school
boy! I paused and checked the day if I did. I did not. It was still summer vacation for me that
day and I didnt want to leave the house due to the heat. His anger made me question his mental
state and sanity.
My dad slowly begun to stay at home more and my mother overlooked on his behavior.
She said that it was his fatherly action to watch over me. At the time I think everyone was
oblivious of what my father was really doing. I found out the hard way of what my father really
became. I drug addict. The son of a bitch had an unfortunate fate that was my escape to
becoming a better and understanding man. My road to becoming a great father is to forget what
has happen as William Stafford states, "To get started I will accept anything that occurs to me.
Something always occurs, of course, to any of us. We can't keep from thinking." I accepted what
my dad has done and I remember the good times we had as father and son. Today I wear a big
smile.
Exploring my dads past and discussing it with others led me to think of the side effects
that drugs can cause. I did research on schizophrenia and how methamphetamine enhances the
development of schizophrenia. I am not sure myself what drugs my father did but he should
signs of mental illness such as schizophrenia. Schizophrenia is a mental disorder known to
having abnormal social behaviors and failure to distinguish what is real. 1 Huabing LiQiong,
LuEnhua, XiaoQiuyun, LiZhong HeXilong, Mei state that, Studies in Taiwan have shown that

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familial risk for schizophrenia increases the likelihood of Methamphetamine users experiencing
psychotic episodes. Just like my dad, he thought people hid underneath is feet waiting to come
and get him. He started fights with other people in Skid Row because they looked like
undercover cops to him. In his world I know hes afraid and everybody is against him when he
tries to rise up and be better.
Suffering from mental illness does not mean theres no hope. My dad struggles to get by
on his wheelchair but it doesnt stop him from seeing me if I ever needed help. He never went for
treatment because he felt like that was giving up or I think fear was the real truth, the fear of
getting help.

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1

Huabing LiQiong LuEnhua XiaoQiuyun LiZhong HeXilong, Mei. "Methamphetamine

Enhances The Development Of Schizophrenia In First-Degree Relatives Of Patients With

Schizophrenia." Canadian Journal Of Psychiatry 59.2 (2014): 107-113. Psychology and
Behavioral Sciences Collection.
Web. 19 Oct. 2014.
The Freedom Writers and Erin Grunwell.Diary 65.The Freedom Writers Diary. New York:
Broadway Books, 2009. Print.
Stafford,William A Way of Writing. Readings for Revolutionary Writings. Stretchaccelerated composition. Boston: Bedford/St. Martins, 2013. 347-522. Print.