Development

My writing has developed

tremendously over the course
of this semester. I have learned
how to write fluently . I have
learned several different
techniques, such as formats,
quoting an author properly,
giving credibility, and most
importantly, connecting my
ideas. Some of my strengths in
writing include supporting
evidence to back up my claims,
my works-cited page, and my
punctuation. One of my
weaknesses includes
connecting my ideas clearly.
Another weakness I have is
getting straight to the point, or
the big idea as we like to call it
in English 114A. My writing
has improved significantly
since the beginning of this
semester. I think I still have
several things to work on, but
that is what I enjoy about
English.

About me
My name is Hutton Tendler. I am 19
years old and a freshman at CSUN. My
hobbies include hiking, yoga, cycling,
motocross, swimming, and dancing. I
hold my friends and family very close to
my heart. I love to help other people. I
am in the sorority, Alpha Phi. I enjoy the
charity and work we all do in the Greek
Community. I went to an independent
studies program for high school. The
transition into college was very different
for me than most people.

Reading is to the mind, what

exercise is to the body.

Police Brutality

Gender Similarities
My first essay is about the similarities
between genders. I chose to write about
this topic because I feel that our society
looks at men and women very
differently. I feel that we should be look
at equally. I chose to discuss women
fighting in military combat infantry
because I think it is extremely important
to realize that women are strong enough
to fight with men and they should be
allowed to defend their country if they
want to. I also discussed the idea that
men are smarter than women. I
completely disagree due to personal
experience. I also chose to discuss
domestic abuse cases because it is
common for society to assume that
males are the abuser. That is not always
the case and I think society should know
that it is mostly commonly mutual. I also
discussed how men and women are
considered emotionally and
communicably different. The studies
have shown that this is not always the
case. Lastly, we are taught that men and
women are different when it comes to
sexuality. I was able to see male and
female dominance after watching two
movies assigned in class, Crazy, Stupid,
Love and Jerry Maguire.

In both essays I had to make small

grammar changes. For the first essay I had
to expand on my conclusion, explaining the
social benefits of how men and women are
more similar than different. I also had to
clarify some of my ideas and connect them
to each other better. My second essay I had
to decrease my introduction paragraphs as
best that I could. I also had to clarify my
perspective on this case. I originally wrote
this paper before the verdict on the Michael
Brown came out, so I had to make some
corrections. I also had to change some
things around to make the paper flow
better.

My second essay is about police brutality. I

chose this topic because it is one of the
hottest topics in the news right now. I feel
that it is extremely important for everyone
in America right now. I chose to discuss the
story of Robert Leone because he was
beaten severely and he was completely
innocent and was charged with false
allegations. I chose to write about the
Edgar Arzate case because he was not a
good role model. I thought his story was
significant because of the fact that he was
not a good role model but was still
protected by the Department of Justice
after telling them what had happened to
him. I also decided to discuss the Michael
Brown case because it is one of the biggest
stories in the media right now. This case
has uplifted protestors everywhere. I
decided to bring some personal
experiences in by talking about one of my
family members, my stepdad, Duke. I also
supported many of these stories with
quotes from police officers and other
journalists. Finally, I discussed how bodyworn cameras are now placed on every
officer in Rialto, California.