Id Rather Be Here Now

Finding a community within a community

Written by Maria Van Buskirk
November 11, 2014

Only 1 percent of all breast cancers are diagnosed

in men. For Bob Riter, he was that 1 percent, the 1
in 100 men to be diagnosed. At the age of 40, with
no medical history of cancer, Bob received the
unexpected news.
Im usually the only single-nippled fellow at the pool Bob Riter, the executive
director of the Cancer Resource Center.
Bob first noticed the small lump under his left nipple when scratching his chest one
summer night. I wasnt especially concerned until a few weeks later, when I realized
there was blood coming from that nipple. After consulting his family doctor, and having
a biopsy conducted, the results were in: breast cancer.
Bob was young, in good health, and had no family history of the disease. There I was,
writing mastectomy on my calendar for August 30. It all seemed surreal.
Although breast cancer is rare in men, it is essentially the same disease as it is in women;
however, men almost always undergo a mastectomy. Additionally, the average male
diagnosed with breast cancer is between the ages of 60 and 70. At the age of 40, Bob was
indeed a rarity.
To Bob, receiving the chemo seemed rather anticlimactic. The doctors put in an IV,
dripped in some drugs, slapped on a Band-Aid and sent him on his way. I never threw
up once. Ironically, my dog threw up the very first night of my chemo. I would have
appreciated her empathy more had she not made a mess of the carpet.
The Elephant in the Room
Originally from West Virginia, Bob moved to Ithaca, New York with aspirations of
teaching health administration and gerontology at Ithaca College. With no family ties to
the area, Bob and his dog were on their own.

In need of community during a difficult and stressful time, Bob turned to the Ithaca
Breast Cancer Alliance.
One Friday afternoon, Bob found himself sitting at a large, round wooden table
surrounded by 15 females at the Noon Group for Women. At first, I think the women
were a bit startled themselves. I was that 1 percent and their first male member, said
Bob. Before him, there had never been a male in the group.
At that Noon Group for Women, Bob met Monica Vakiner, a breast cancer survivor who
recently made the move from Tampa, Florida to Ithaca, New York. Meeting Bob at an
all womens group spoke volumes of his own comfort level. Not all men can openly
discuss their breast cancer, said Monica. Bob was immediately welcomed with open
arms by the women he met at that noon group.
When Bob was finally declared cancer free, Bob joined the small staff as the first male
staff member of the Ithaca Breast Cancer Alliance. Being a male with breast cancer gave
me a mission: to make a difference in my community.
A Community within a Community
In 1993, a group of three women founded the Ithaca Breast Cancer Alliance, the first
cancer support group in the area. Ten years later, the name was changed to the Cancer
Resource Center of the Finger Lakes (CRCFL) to better reflect the organizations service
to everyone affected by cancer.
With only four staff members, the CRCFL relies heavily on volunteers 75 to be exact.
Volunteers are the heart and soul of this organization, said Bob. Staff members and
volunteers come together at the resource center to help members through cancer
diagnosis and treatment. From financial advice, to support groups, even to free wigs
during the hair loss process, the CRCFL has extensive resources.
Bob is a even great resource for those who have breast cancer; he has the experience of
cancer and chemo and it makes him extremely compassionate, said Monica.
Id Rather Be Here Now
The Cancer Resource Center motto is: Because no one should face cancer alone. For
the many touched by this disease, the CRCFL has provided needed support.
The Cancer Resource Center is just this warm welcoming community, where everyone
gives unconditional love, support and encouragement, said Monica.

Bob has not let cancer defeat him; he has committed himself to helping those affected by
the disease.
After my diagnosis, I began to focus more on the present and the near-term. I worry less
about the future and ask myself if I'm happy and if I'm making a difference in my
community. The bumper sticker on my car sums up my feelings: I'd rather be here
now," said Bob.