TRUE QUOTES!

Our language is funny a fat chance and a slim chance are the same
thing.
J. Gustav White

If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something
to do with a shortage of flowers.
Doug Larson

If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an

apostrophe with fur.
Doug Larson

Why do we have noses that run and feet that smell?

Author Unknown

English is a funny language; that explains why we park our car on the
driveway and drive our car on the parkway.
Author Unknown

The word good has many meanings. For example, if a man were to shoot
his grandmother at a range of five hundred yards, I should call him a good
shot, but not necessarily a good man.
G. K. Chesterton

Lymph, v.: to walk with a lisp.

Washington Post reader

I like the word indolence. It makes my laziness seem classy.

Bern Williams

The two most beautiful words in the English language are check enclosed.
Dorothy Parker

The quantity of consonants in the English language is constant. If omitted in

one place, they turn up in another. When a Bostonian pahks his cah, the

lost rs migrate southwest, causing a Texan to warsh his car and invest in
erl wells.
Author Unknown

I am is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be

that I do is the longest sentence?
George Carlin

Rudyard Kipling was fired as a reporter for the San Francisco Examiner. His
dismissal letter was reported to have said, Im sorry, Mr. Kipling, but you
just dont know how to use the English language. This isnt a kindergarten for
amateur writers.
Author Unknown

The English language has a deceptive air of simplicity; so have some little
frocks; but they are both not the kind of thing you can run up in half an hour
with a machine.
Dorothy L. Sayers

What is the shortest word in the English language that contains the letters:
abcdef? Answer: feedback. Dont forget that feedback is one of the essential
elements of good communication.
Author Unknown

English grammar is so complex and confusing for the one very simple reason
that its rules and terminology are based on Latin, a language with which it has
precious little in common.
Bill Bryson

Making English grammar conform to Latin rules is like asking people to play
baseball using the rules of football.
Bill Bryson

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, Im from the
government and Im here to help.
Ronald Reagan

In my sentences I go where no man has gone before I am a boon to the

English language.

George W. Bush

Introducing Lite The new way to spell Light, but with twenty percent
fewer letters.
Jerry Seinfeld

England and America are two countries separated by a common language.

George Bernard Shaw

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

Robert Benchley

When I read some of the rules for speaking and writing the English language
correctly, I think any fool can make a rule, and every fool will mind it.
Henry David Thoreau

I speak two languages: Body and English.

Mae West

Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.
H. L. Mencken

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know
another language.
H. Jackson Brown, Jr.