RESURGENCE

OF A SOUL
Puteri Nurfaiqah Binti Jasni
Cardiff University
07751019330 / feie94@yahoo.com


Soul.
One word, four letters.
S.O.U.L.
Uhh why it bothers so much! It is just a four-letter word!
Why make such a big deal out of it?
Soul.
Sigh. Cant you feel?
Oh come on.
Okay let me write that again.
Soul.
Okay dont tell me, you dont feel even a slightly touch on your heart and mind,
whenever your mind silently read this word. The feeling of wondering around, looking
for an exact meaning of this. The exact meaning of soul. You feel that, dont you?
This four-letter word, kind of carrying the meaning beyond any expectation. It makes us
wonder, what does this actually mean, and we can surely feel how important this is for
us, but what have we done with our soul?
Yes, one word, four letter.
But when you read this word, make you wondering like, what is soul to me and hey,
I kind of realize how big the meaning it carries, Subhanallah. It is so indescribable, I
have no idea how to give an exact definition of it!
***
Okay, that is all your quran lesson for today Ustaz Muhammad Bilal closed the
sharing board on Skype.
Oh, okay teacher thank you so much. I replied, getting ready for the next session,
the quizzes session. He always made a quizzes session for me, for at least 10
minutes, everytime we end our oonline quran lesson.
So, as usual, he will ask the routine question first.
Who is your prophet
Read your four Qul
When is prophet was born. Where he was born and where he passed away
tell me the four books of Allah and the receiver
Read me your Ayatul Qursy

Those are the routine question. He would ask those before he proceeds to other new
questions. He would ask that over and over again every single day. But I never
questioned him of why he did this. What is the relevant ?
My assumption, he might not want me to forget the sirah of my prophet and the history
of Quran.
Oh well, as long as he provides me with knowledge, I dont mind spending 40 Pounds
per month for the session.
Even he is the follower of Hanafi and I am the follower of Syafie, he would never
questioned the difference.
If the quiz questions arise are those that carries different thought from the two
mazhabs, and he realized it , when I answer things that are different from what he
follows, he would change the question.
Thats how he shows respect, and thats how he gained my respect.
However, today is different.
I thought the quiz session has end. So I want to hang up the Skype call.
What is soul?
Er. Pardon?
What is soul?
Oh my god is he talking to me. Er, um, soul is.. umm, something inside our body?
Wushhh, how the heck that comes out of my mouth. I was so stuttered, and taken by
surprise by the question. Well, he never asked questions like this before. It always was
the sirah and tajweed and that kind of things but, this errr. So, there you go, the
answer comes out of my mouth, without thinking . and I feel stupid after I realized what
I had said. Whut?
yes. You can say that. And a body become alive when it is given soul by Allah. He
continues before that he did stop a bit, maybe surprised by my immature answer.
And During their journeys through this universe, the soul and its body travel through
four different worlds
The womb - where the soul joins its body.
This world - where we all live for a limited period only.
The grave - a Barzakh period.
The Hereafter - The final destination of all human beings.

okay.. have thought about it thats all for today. We will meet again for next weeks
session. Assalamualaikum
Waalaikumussalam, thank you teacher I hang up Skype. My mind was wondering
about it. But not for long. I have to pack for tomorrows journey to Liverpool..
Knock knock knock.
Come in! I said.
Hey, wanna join jemaah?
Nayy, I m too tired, maybe later .
Alaa, come laaa, its 27 times rewards you can get from Allah, if compare to you are
praying alone, do you know that?
Yeah im not stupid. But im tired. Nevermind the 27 times reward. I ll get it next time.
Oh my, I m so annoyed with people preaching me without my consent.
okay then
***
Cardiff Bus Station.
I was there with Helen. I was as happy as a wave that dances on the sea! Cant wait to
see Liverpool. There are rumours that the view is mesmerising. I wont miss that for a
world!
Danny , dont play with the water!
I turned my face towards the sound.
There is a woman, with his child. I would say nine to twelve years old approximately.
She was prohibiting his son from playing with a puddle.
oh my god, how many times should I yell this! Its dirty! the mother seems lost his
patients , after his warnings being ignored by his son. She pull his hand away and
brought the boy to few meters away.

*flashback *
You are going to study oversea use the opportunity to seek knowledge. When you
comes home, share your knowledge and make use of it. Let it be like the running
water like the river or waterfall.
uhh, why water, mom? I dont get it.
let the knowledge be like the running water. When you share and practice it, pray for
others to do the same too, so the knowledge will be flowing to the ummah. Everyone
will be benefited. But it the knowledge you gain, you kept it alone and doesnt make
use of it.. it will rust . Dirty. Like the water. When water did not run, it will become
puddle, right? And the stagnant water, will become dirty, yes?
and it will become useless. I finished her sentence. The point mom tried to
explain become clears to me.
Pin pin pinnn
The bus had arrived. I rushed to the bus, show my Coach Card and get on the bus.
Phewwww. The six hours journey is about to begin. Liverpool, here I come!
***
Albert Dock, Liverpool.
Oh my, Alhamdulillah! Finally! After hours of strolling around the dock and the city of
Liverpool, I can treat my tummy with the Fish and Chips and a nice hot chocolate!
Anyhow, the fish and chips here do taste like what we have in Julian Hodge Caf, in
Cardiff Business School. LOL.
After the nice meal,I decided to have another round of strolling around the dock.
Actually, the image of a pregnant mother I saw at World Museum Liverpool I went
earlier keep flicking through my mind. What she did realy caught my eye. She came to
the museum and goes to every department and watch everything while teaching the
unborn child in her tummy.
From a scientific view, its kind of sweet and knowledgable
But somehow, Ustaz Muhammad Bilals questions popped up in my head and knocked
my mind
I come to a realization
Now I get what he tried to explain.
In this situation, we are like the foetus in the womb of its mother. Consider the unborn
child whose only home for nine months is a dark and cramped place where it receives

nourishment, warmth and space to grow. Suppose I could speak to the unborn child;
what would I say when describing the world waiting for it outside? I would talk to it
about the clouds, the mountains, the trees and the oceans. I would talk of a spectrum
of colours, smells, tastes and textures. I would mention the thunder of trains, the
roaring of planes, the speed of cars. We would describe flowers, birds and animals; a
world of lush gardens, cascading rivers, valleys and plains. An enormous world of huge
deserts, massive oceans and vast landscapes. a bustling world filled with noise,
movement and numerous nationalities of people speaking a variety of languages
However, would the little infant curled up in it's mother's womb understand the
message? Indeed not. The womb is the only place he knows and to imagine the
outside world would be beyond his comprehension.
In the same way, my life in this world is temporary and like it or not, I will have to leave
it to enter the world beyond the grave.
Just because I cannot envisage or see the world of the Barzakh does not mean that it
does not exist.
It exist. And my soul have to prepare for it.
My naqibah used to say, there are 3 main types of nafs.
First, NAFS AL-MUTAMAINNA, the Satisfied Soul. Second, NAFS AL AMMARA BIS
SU' - the soul that dictates evil. And the NAFS AL LAWWAMA , the Self-reproaching
soul.
I realised that I am in the level of sick soul and I have to try my very best to make it
to nafs al-mutamainna because I am terrified of falling to nafs al ammara.
I have to save my soul. No other choice.
Because the hereafter exist. My soul has to prepare for it.
The only person I have to be better than, is the person I was yesterday.
I cant go back and make a brand new start, but I can start now, and make a new
ending.
I looked at my phone.. its shows the adzthan. Its Asr now. I took my bag I walked
towards the shopping mall where my friend is looking for a place to pray. As usual,
there is no praying room
excuse me. Im sorry to bother you. Can we use the stock room for 10 minutes
please? We want to pray. Please just for 10 minutes.
are you muslims?
yes we are.. this is the forth store we tried to ask for a place to pray. Could we please
use the stock room or any side of the basement , pretty please?

uhh yes, of course. I would lead you the way. You can pray in the store room. But
please make it fast and dont touch any stocks in it.
oh my, you are such a star, thank you so much, really appreciate this!
So I go and get the wudu while my friend is preparing for the prayer.
As I came back with Wudu, my friend is about to start her prayer.
Helen
Yes.
uhh. Mmm Can I . Can I join the prayer and we can make it a Jemaah?... er, mm,
like you invite me while we were at home?
She smiled seems a bit surprised by my request.
Of course you can. I ve been waiting awhile to hear you to say that
I smiled back its an act of resurgence of a soul. My soul.
***
Its 6 PM. Helen was in the Maritime Museum. I went back to the Albert Dock. Trying to
take more pictures and enjoy the scenery
The image of everything flicked through my mind one by one, while my eyes far
wondering around the beauty and nostalgic background of Albert Dock. I love the view,
Subhanallah. The limitless blue sky and the seawater cleared like a doubtful morning
when it gives place to a bright noon.
It was chilly by the way. I can sense the incoming of snow. Maybe. I hope so.
Let the homeland of The Beatles and the dock that houses some of the monuments of
the Titanic history, be the witness of the first step for the new journey of a soul.
I close my eyes, letting the sea breeze greeting me. Smiling, i can feel it.
The air is saturated with prayers and dreams.
Albert Dock, will you be my witness?
Bismillah, let the resurgence begin.