Running head: CYCLE OF LIBERATION

Cycle of Liberation
Bo-ve Dong
Loyola Marymount University

Running head: CYCLE OF LIBERATION

Waking Up
Second semester of my freshman year at Loyola Marymount University, I was one of
those overly excited girls during Sorority Formal Recruitment. I couldnt wait to be a part of
Greek Life. I knew social events were a large part of the organization, but I also wanted girls to
call my sisters, a home away from home, and to be part of something bigger than myself. I joined
a sorority and quickly was engulfed in the letters, the new friends, and the parties. I loved it.
However, as time went on, my experience became less and less about the values of the
organization that drew me to become a member but rather about public image and upholding a
social standard. I went abroad my fall semester of my junior year and returned with an entirely
new perspective on my life, most particularly my presence in the Greek community. Europe
didnt have such a thing and individuals openly vocalized their confusion and disappointment
with the negative media attention Greeks were receiving. I started to see that I could no longer
defend the institution. I read stories of racism, bullying, hazing, and most prominently rape. How
could these organizations be guilty of such allegations when their values and ideals are the exact
ones that would stop such behavior?
Second semester of my Junior year I was caught up with the excitement of returning to
my university and seeing all of my friends, catching up on what I missed, and meeting new
people. Once I was settled back in, I began to notice actions and interactions that I wouldnt have
thought twice about before. This semester, I got my tongue-pierced. It was something I had
wanted to do for a long time. I didnt do it for anyone else, I did it for me and because it was
simply something I wanted. In the days after, I happily showed my friends as they asked me the
expected questions of if it hurt or if I could eat. One Fraternity member who I would consider a
friend just looked at my piercing and jokingly said Oh I want a blowjob. I pushed him and

Running head: CYCLE OF LIBERATION

laughed it off. I felt that if I stood up for myself and told him what he said was sexist and rude,
he would lash back and say that I was too sensitive and that I should learn to take a joke.
This is when I had my waking up moment. I thought about this more and more and questioned
why he thought that was okay to say to me and also why he internally knew that I wouldnt be
offended or wouldnt express my anger. The idea that boys will be boys gives men the
confidence to say inappropriate things and get away with it, and they do.
There has been a certain vision of what a fraternity man is supposed to be, and it isnt one
that surrounds the ideals their chapter was founded upon. I am not saying that all fraternity men
follow this status quo, but I am saying that the general behavior of Greek males creates an
overall image and groups them together. Women are also not innocent of not playing into these
roles. My passive reaction to my friends comment is exactly what is wrong with the way some
women have played into a certain role of being a meek and docile. Sorority women have been
labeled as ditzy and materialistic, which allows the perpetuation of tasteless behavior of
Greek members. Society has conditioned each gender to act and react in very specific ways. Men
are strong, dominating, powerful, and sex-crazed while women are taught to be submissive,
docile, ladylike, and are viewed as objects. These notions have permeated their way into the
Greek life system. I believe it has led to unfortunate events that taints the Greek letters and
ultimately shames the institution in irreparable ways. I believe these issues of rape and sexual
assault have become regrettable consequences of how the Greek community has come to view its
members. By allowing and propagating certain language and gender standards, we create an
institution that mirrors gender intimidation and sexist behavior.
Getting Ready
This topic of Greek life behavior is something that isnt easily tackled. It is an American

Running head: CYCLE OF LIBERATION

institution that has been a part of college and society dating back to the mid 1800s. However,
change within this issue starts with my own actions and myself. In order to get ready to make
change, it is critical that I become more and more self-empowered and less afraid to protest
against male actions and female reactions. I am a part of the Greek community and I do have a
voice that can initiate change or at least the thought of change. Im starting to see that a voice in
a community can do more than I previously thought. Finding the courage to speak out, however,
is vastly harder to attain.
Women in the community feel a sense of duty to the men as sexual objects and almost
crave this sort of attention. We want their approval, their admiration. They are put up on a
pedestal that we look up to. I feel that this is a form of gender intimidation, in which women are
treated in a manner that makes us feel inferior and instead of fighting back for equality, we allow
this and still strive to gain their interest (Wood, 2013). I am guilty of this as well. Especially on a
campus like LMU, where Greek men are scarce and the ratio of female to male students is 60%
to 40%. Women on campus try to be what they think these men want and ultimately can end up
downplaying their intelligence. We have to realize that theres more than just LMU in the world.
As much as it is college and an experience in its own, it is also its own bubble in a sense. There
are more people to meet in the world who will appreciate a womans intelligence or a mans
sensitivity.
Fraternity men are also pressured to fit into a certain type in terms of what it is to be a
man. Tony Porter discusses the notion of the Man Box in his Ted Talk and highlights the
prominence of expectations that men grow up trying to reach. Things like being dominant, not
crying, not showing weakness, and viewing women as property are all contained in this box.
Fraternities have come to value these attributes by displaying overly masculine images and

Running head: CYCLE OF LIBERATION

behaviors. While its easy to blame men for sexist issues, we have to also remember their own
oppression as members of the male gender. Tony Porters memorable quotation of My liberation
as a man is tied to your liberation as a woman, mirrors my insights of freeing both genders to
create a mutual respect and responsibility. If men dont feel the duty to be strong and powerful,
women wont feel the obligation to be docile and compliant. Feminism is the struggle to end
sexist oppression. Its aim is not to benefit solely any specific group of women, any particular
race or class of women. It does not privilege women over men (Hooks, 2000, p. 240).
Feminism is not a way to say that women are superior to men. We need to realize that ending
sexist oppression is for the benefit of both genders. However, it is issues like these that start from
the ground up and the education to stop them from hindering future generations needs to be
fostered and conditioned from an early age and throughout their lives.
We are socialized from a young age to emulate certain traits that garner us admiration and
rewards. This continues into college as young men experience positive reinforcement for
misogynistic behavior and moral carelessness. If a guy has sexual relations with a girl, he is
greeted with high fives and pats on the back. If a guy drunkenly jumps off a roof into a pool and
miraculously doesnt get severely injured or die, he is labeled a legend. The same goes for
females, as the struggle for male attention grows fierce in the college environment. Girls get
jealous of other girls who get noticed because of their coy demeanor and individuals feed off of
the competition. Girls are taught that acting in a certain way gets them praise and ultimately male
attention. Both genders come to conform and imitate the actions that bring about praise. Wood
discusses the Social Learning Theory that claims that we learn how to be a successful member of
our gender by mirroring behaviors and beliefs that are continuously approved and admired in
society. Social learning suggests that others communication teaches boys and girls which

Running head: CYCLE OF LIBERATION

behaviors are appropriate for them (Wood, 2013, p. 49). We learn from our communication with
each other more than from ourselves. If we keep acknowledging, accepting, and even applauding
this behavior, we keep the cycle of discrimination afloat.
Reaching Out
This is something that starts with me as an individual. I can start reaching out more about
this issue by not letting friends, acquaintances, or even strangers get away with their
inappropriate remarks I can shine light on the issue and make them truly think about their
actions. Questioning the language and manner of all members of the Greek community can do
this. The phrases that are commonly used are sexist and demoralizing. The online publication
Total Frat Move is a prime example of the degrading language used by fraternity men
pertaining to various subjects including school, politics, and most prominently women. Calling
them slam pieces and saying, get bitches in reference to sex and adoration is language that
objectifies women to make us seem like the weaker gender. When you insult someone, your
goal is to hurt, shame, undermine, or humiliate. Your goal is destruction, in some small form, of
self-esteem or ego. Cut them down to size. Knock them down a few pegs (Moss, 2013, p. 1).
The slang used by fraternity men does exactly this. The vernacular used is in reference to women
and have established meanings of inferiority.
For example, calling someone a pussy ultimately means that a person is cowardly and
weak. When someone says dont be a pussy, it translates to dont be like a powerless
woman. Pussy is also an epithet for a womans vagina. It isnt a coincidence that the word
uses a female body part to demean a man. Fiona McCrossin from Duke's Class of 2016 stated
that, "Discriminatory and dehumanizing language is reflective of a culture that supports those
practices, and if we hear language that targets a part of our own identities in a negative way, it is

Running head: CYCLE OF LIBERATION

likely that society as a whole will treat us negatively (qtd. in Sinha, 2014, p. 1) The more you
hear something, the more you start to believe it and soak it in. Women should take offense to
words like bitch and pussy because they stem from female attributes but have been twisted
into words of humiliation, objectification, and powerlessness.
By also analyzing the media around friends and colleagues, I can spark dialogue about
how misleading and stereotypical certain portrayals of Greek like, masculinity, and femininity
are in films, television, and music. Harros Cycle of Socialization highlights the level of
institutional and cultural socialization we experience starting from a young age. By watching
films like Legally Blonde teaches us that sorority girls are desperate, boy crazy, superficial.
Neighbors paints fraternity men as misogynistic party boys who aim for women, drugs, and a
good time. The media oppresses both genders. If children are exposed to television programs
and computer games that show boys being rewarded for engaging in masculine activities and
girls being rewarded for engaging in feminine activities, traditional sex roles are reinforced
(Wood, 2013, p. 51) The media has begun to shine light on these issues as more celebrities and
public figures have spoken out about raising their children in less gender specific ways. College
students, however, have already been socialized for the past twenty or so years and have been
constantly exposed to stereotypical media representations of gender. Instead, a dialogue is
needed in order to change the way we view these depictions and perhaps can begin refusing to
endorse these productions.
These are big strides and are things that I know will upset, offend, and confuse my
friends and peers. Due to my light-hearted demeanor and my sarcastic and cynical sense of
humor, people often dont take me seriously because I can make a joke about almost everything.
This however fuels me even more. The fact that something like this bothers me enough to make

Running head: CYCLE OF LIBERATION

me want to create real change within this community shows how innately wrong and
uncomfortable it makes me feel. Since I dont usually speak up on social issues, unless I am very
passionate and knowledgeable, I feel that my friends and others that even slightly know me will
take it to heart and really reflect on these issues.
Building Community
This entire topic is something I have felt uncomfortable discussing with others in the
Greek community because I fear being called a hypocrite and being judged for criticizing
something I am ultimately a part of. In order for me to build a community, it has to start with
those who agree with these inequalities. When I was abroad, I met a girl who I now consider one
of my closest friends. I honestly believe that if we had met at a different time in my life, we
wouldnt have gotten along. She is a member of a service organization on campus and proudly
calls herself a feminist. When abroad, I saw how strong and assertive she is when sexist
comments are said or insinuated. We talked about this issue and she expressed her same concerns
and that the culture and gender discrepancies of Greek life are main reasons of why she decided
not to go through recruitment. She didnt want to associate herself with an institution that
harvested ideals of misogyny and objectification. Hearing this from someone who isnt involved
in Greek life made me take myself out of my own shoes. Looking into the Greek life community
from the outside is unsettling. The media and gossip focuses solely on the negative events and
barely skims over any philanthropy activities and volunteering of the chapters. Being in a
sorority, I do see the good that an organization can create, but in reality, the only things people
will see are the allegations of rape, deaths due to alcohol poisoning, and unsettling immoral
behavior.
This outlook sparks my motivation because I truly believe that Greek life can be

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something amazing and life changing. I want it to be restored to its formal glory and be
concentrated on values, education, and character. Having social events and relationships with
other chapters is a large part of the fun, but it shouldnt be the main focus of an organization.
There needs to be a mutual respect within the Greek community not a struggle for power and
superiority. I see the fear and panic that a Greek member expresses when their lifestyle is
questioned or threatened. If a guy is called out for his sexist remarks, he panics and can only
reply with comments of sensitivity and get over it. When a girl is put on the spot for her
passive behavior, she defends herself with why do you care? We care because it sustains and
perpetuates sexist behavior. We care because it effects more than you. We communicate as a
people, and influence each other as a people. We dont realize how much our actions affect
others and how much power we truly hold with our behaviors.
Coalescing & Creating Change
In addition to spreading this idea to friends and finding alliances with those who see this
issue in the same light, I believe that outreach to a wider audience is necessary. Using the
Internet as an outlet, transforms the anger into something more eloquent and understanding. I
plan to do more writing in the future for possible work or personal blogging. Touching upon
these issues with reach people who I would not normally have access to. It also is a medium that
allows discussion, support, or opposition, all three of which should be welcome to create a
successful dialogue. I hope to even become a role model to those who have the same feelings but
fear speaking out.
More specifically, I can comment on the current events surrounding Greek life and the
Greek communitys behavior. University of Virginia is under fire for allegations of a gang rape
that occurred back in 2012 at a Phi Kappa Psi fraternity house. I can vocalize my support for

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10

rape victims and their courage to come forward and tackle an entire institution. Since I have seen
Greek life on a personal level and been a part of the community, it is a subject I feel more
comfortable questioning and dissecting. However, I believe analyzing Greek life in this way on a
public sphere can spark a larger discussion of gender stereotypes, intimidation, and overall
inequality.
Maintaining
This is something that has been bothering me for a while. With my personality, I cant
just let things go. To help my future self, I need to vocalize my disappointment and my thoughts
on this issue. Now that I am graduating from college and in a sense, graduating from my sorority,
I have a duty to incoming students. Whether they choose to be a part of Greek life or not, every
student should be aware of how the institution is portrayed and how individuals can perpetuate
gender inequality. I want them to know how severe this intimidation can get. As extreme as it
may sound, we have created a sort of society that values gender discrimination and segregation.
By being open and honest with younger students, I hope to spark them to take their own action
either within the Greek community or from the outside.

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11
References

Harro, B. (2000). The cycle of liberation. Readings for Diversity and Social Justice. New York.
Hooks, B. (2000). Feminism is for everybody: Passionate politics. London: Pluto Press.
Moss, E. (2013) What youre really saying when you call me a bitch.
Everyday Feminism.. Web. 2 Dec. 2014. <http://everydayfeminism.com/2013/10/youcall-me-a-bitch/>.
Porter, T. (2010). A call to men. Ted.com.
Sinha, S. (2014). Inspiring photo project calls out the offensive slurs we use every day
without realizing. Identities.Mic. Web. 3 Dec. 2014.
<http://mic.com/articles/88101/inspiring-photo-project-calls-out-the-offensive-slurs-weuse-every-day-without-realizing>.
Wood, J. (2013). Gendered lives: Communication, gender, and culture (10th ed.). Belmont,
California: Wadsworth Publication.