Mitchell Kim

February 10, 2015

Writing 2
Z. De Piero
Writing Project 2: The Authors Game-Plan
There are many things that can make a paper persuasive. Concrete evidence through
documenting data, performing experimentations, implementing quotations, etc. are all
effective methods to convey an idea and entice the reader. Furthermore, the way the evidence
is presented, or the authors moves, is also very important in persuasion. A poorly written
paper is more unlikely to sway a reader than a clear, coherent one. Thus, an author with
competent and impressive moves can strongly influence the success of the article. One may
argue, however, that some genres are more effective than others regardless of the authors
moves. Yet, by comparing a scholarly article with an internet blog post, one can see that both

Commented [ZD1]: Yes! I love it!

are equally effective because of the writers techniques in displaying his or her assertion.
Although the literary genre of a piece is important, it is not as vital as the authors choice in
moves to present evidence, which ultimately dictates the effectiveness of the argument.
A Case of Early Sports Specialization in an Adolescent Athlete by Brad Ferguson and
Paula J. Stern is a scholarly journal found in the UCSB librarys database. Ferguson and Stern
explain the benefits and potential risks of enacting an intense training of a single sport at a
young age. Similarly, Ken Reeds Youth Sports Specialization Defies Logic is a blog post on
HuffPost that stresses the danger of sports specialization. To display each articles own method
of persuasion, comparing and contrasting the two in terms of their rhetorical features and
conventions will unveil the authors moves in implementing the evidence.

Commented [ZD2]: Im just a little bit unclear about

your stance on thisso are you backtracking on your
previous statement and saying that an authors moves ARE
important? OR that the genres conventions ultimately
dictate the moves of a piece?

Some conventions of Fergusons and Sterns scholarly journal appeal to the

professionalism and competence that is demanded for literary works of this genre. For example,

Commented [ZD3]: Can you get more specific in this

topic sentence?

the title A Case of Early Sports Specialization in an Adolescent Athlete is very blunt and
straightforward. There are then subtitles and headings such as Introduction, Case, Discussion,
Conclusion, and References. Furthermore, amidst the text, among the evidence that arent
included in Fergusons and Sterns own experiments, there are citations in the form of numbers
to refer to the References section, which is why the sentence A group of US high school sports
directors were surveyed and 78% reported an increase in sports specialization in high school
athletes.10 is followed by a superscript 10 (Ferguson and Stern). Also, there are bullet points
to note the more important aspects and evidence. To display the data from the

Commented [ZD4]: This is very good, but you might be

missing a small chance to follow-up on this and say, Yo, this
further strengthens/weakens the piece because .

experimentation, Ferguson and Stern include tables and charts in the journal denoted by Figure
1, Figure 2, etc. The tone of the essay is very analytical and statistical, most likely due to the fact
that the paper is aimed to the audience of other scholars and researcher among the same field.

Commented [ZD5]: Youre jumping around a bit in this

paragraph, Mitchell.
Whats this paragraph ultimately about?
Headings/formatting features? Evidence? Tone?

The context itself, though not totally confusing, is a little more skillful and advanced. There are
no first or second person point of view personal pronouns (I, me, you), and the diction is rather
progressive. Those are just some of the features of the scholarly journal, and as one will soon

Commented [ZD6]: What do you mean by this? (Also,

examples?)

see, they are quite different from those of a blog entry.

While reading the scholarly journal requires the upmost attention and focus due to its
sophistication, Ken Reeds blog post is quite the opposite in terms of formality. The title is
rather intriguing as it grabs the readers attention due to its inclusion of a hyperbole in defying
logic, and there are no subtitles because the post is fairly short as compared to the journal.
Although the evidence from the scientific article includes its own data found through

Commented [ZD7]: Excellent transition from the

previous paragraph/source.

experimentation as well as facts and quotations from other sources, the blog can only provide
evidence from other sources. In addition, despite the absence of graphs and charts, there is a
picture of random kids playing soccer. The structure of the essay adds to the informality. For
example, some of the paragraphs arent exactly paragraphs. Although the line Specialization

Commented [ZD8]: Im not sure what the purpose of

this sentence is. Is the random picture distracting?
Hollow?

works -- but only in the short term is only one sentence, it is also its own paragraph (Reed). In
between each paragraph, moreover, there is a break, or space, between the next. Because of
the fact that this literary piece is in fact a blog, the tone is more free and conversational. For
instance, the introductory sentence I want to say that I truly believe most youth sports parents
and coaches have their hearts in the right places, is most likely not going to be found in a

Commented [ZD9]: Im wondering about your

organization here. I dont know the answer to these
questionsthats for you to decideIm just hoping to get
you thinking some more about this.
Would it enhance your argument if, instead of doing
paragraph 1 = scholarly, and paragraph 2 = blog, you did
something like

scholarly journal (Reed). Scientific scholarly journals are almost always void of personal opinion,
while opinion is often the foundation of blogs. Personal pronouns like I and we commonly
appear on blogs. Although the conventions of the blog are different than those of the scientific
journal, both authors use their own moves to help convey their argument.
Examining why the author chose to implement a certain move in his or her literary work
shows the effectiveness of the move in its respective genre. For instance, Ferguson and Stern
may have created a candid title to appeal to the expectations of experts who are specifically
looking for articles of that type. In contrast, Reed is trying to captivate the web surfers to view
the blog by creating an exaggerated, yet intriguing title with the overstatement for special
effect (Style in Arguments). Furthermore, while Ferguson and Stern have an essay formatted
as a subtitle with complete paragraphs underneath to create a structured, organized paper with
credibility, Reeds structure is rather relaxed with many breaks and spaces to make for easier
reading. Charts, graphs, and bullet points provide different varieties of displaying evidence in a

paragraph 1 = evidence in both

2 = formatting in both
3 = tone in both?
So, in other words, break the paragraphs up by the writing
terms/ideas that youre analyzing?

formulated, professional manner to help the reader picture the data a helpful aspect of a
scientific journal while the picture in the blog is placed to, again, capture the readers
attention. Because the audience of the journal is directed at other experts, the tone of the
essay should follow suit as efficient and qualified. The blogs tone can be more relaxed and
conversational because the blog is proposed for a wider audience who arent experts on the
subject. Yet, all these examples show how both authors use moves respective to the genre to
benefit their paper. Even though the papers are opposites in terms of formality, both entries
strongly assert their point through the use of the authors moves, showing that the literary
genre each piece is classified in is less important. Rather, how the evidence is displayed is what
determines the success of the paper.
Although the genre is not as vital as the authors moves, it is not irrelevant. Itd be
foolish to believe that the genre has no effect on the essay whatsoever. At times, it can limit
the audience of an article. Had the author of a scientific journal wanted to appeal to a larger
audience by decreasing the sophistication, he or she may lose credibility among the main, more
important audience, the scientific scholars. In addition, had the author of a blog wanted to

Commented [ZD10]: Super-smart observation,

Mithcell.
Commented [ZD11]: This comment is in reference to
the whole paragraph:
When I see thiseven before I start readingI think,
Ahhhhhhh! Attack of the page-long paragraph!
See if you like this metaphor:
Pretend your whole paper is a big, juicy steak. Do you want
your reader to enjoy that steak in easy-to-chew, digestable
bites? Or do you want them to start eating the whole thing in
one piece (think: zombie).

sound more brilliant and canny, increasing the complexity may bore or confuse mainstream

Paragraphs are like those bites. Give your reader your

argument in little, digestable, one-idea-at-a-time bits.

viewers. If the reader knows something about what the writer cares about and is trying to

Readers need to be able to see the different parts/pieces/bites

of the argument that theyre chewing on.

accomplish, it can help orient [the reader] to the reading and understand some of the choices

Commented [ZD12]: Nice!

the writer makes in his or her work (Rosenberg). Thats why the features of a scientific journal
are more rigorous and strict because the expected audience are brainy scholars, while the
features of a blog are more free and personal because the expected audience are common
people. Therefore, because the conventions and rhetorical features of a genre are usually

characterized to satisfy a specific audience, there is no need to persuade readers who are not in
that perceived audience. Furthermore, the authors moves attracts the intended audience,
making for a more effective argument among people whom the paper was proposed for.
After comparing two different literary genres, one can see that although the rhetorical
features and conventions differed, both authors used moves to effectively communicate their
argument. Moreover, the authors moves were shown to be more vital to an articles success
than the genre itself. Regardless of the genre, how and why the author presented evidence a
certain way determined the persuasiveness of the article. Thus, if one were inclined to create
an exceptional article for an intended audience, one should identify some of the choices the
author made so that [one] can better understand how such choices might arise in [his or her]
writing (Bunn).

Works Cited
Bunn, Mike. "How to Read Like a Writer." Writing Spaces: Readings on Writing. West Lafayette,
IN: Parlor, 2010. N. pag. Print.

Ferguson, Brad, and Stern, Paula J. "A Case Of Early Sports Specialization In An Adolescent
Athlete." Journal Of The Canadian Chiropractic Association 58.4 (2014): 377-383.
Academic Search Complete. Web. 11 Feb. 2015.

Reed,

Ken.

"Youth

Sports

Specialization

Defies

TheHuffingtonPost.com, n.d. Web. 11 Feb. 2015.

Logic."

The

Huffington

Post.

Commented [ZD13]: Excellent point.

Rosenberg, Karen. "Reading Games: Strategies for Reading Scholarly Sources." Writing Spaces:
Readings on Writing. West Lafayette, IN: Parlor, 2010. N. pag. Print.

"Style In Arguments." Style and Presentation in Arguments. N.p.: n.p., n.d. 309-25. Print.

Did Not Meet

Expectations

Thesis Statement
Use of Evidence from
Articles
Use of Course Readings
Analysis
Organization/Structure
Attention to
Genre/Conventions and
Rhetorical Factors
Sentence-level Clarity,
Mechanics, Flow

Met Expectations

Exceeded
Expectations

Mitchell,

Other Comments
What a solid paper. Excellent workespecially on the
analysis front.
Check out my comments throughout your paper.
Z
A-