Text from my

initial WP
submission:
(a phrase,
sentence,
paragraph, idea,
move,
punctuation,
piece of
evidence, etc.)
1. This is a specific
ad genre, because it
has all the
conventions that you
would normally see
throughout each
website portrayal of
the item you are
looking for. We all
love listening to
music one way or
another but let's say
you are interested in
buying headphones,
specifically Beats
By Dre drenched
Solo, because they
have that one flashy
color you like and
have really nice
sound quality.

An
observation or
question I
received from
De Piero or a
classmate:

The change(s) I
made to what I
initially wrote:
(ie, the change[s] I
made to column 1)

How this
change
impacts my
paper:

Whats the specific

link between
sentence 1 and
sentence 2?
Whatever that is,
considering putting
it into the start of
sentence 2. (At the
end of sentence 1 is
another option.)

A specific ad genre, we
know this because it
has all the conventions
that are reoccurring
through each of the
websites that have the
item that you are
looking for. Now, lets
think of an example
where we see this ad
genre in motion. We all
love listening to music
one way or another but
let's say our friend
Joseph, someone I
made up to make an
example, is interested
in buying headphones,
specifically Beats By
Dre drenched Solo;
because they have that
one flashy color he
likes and it is said to
have really nice sound
quality.

Although this change

is minute, it helps
connect both
sentences together so
that the audience has
a smoother transition
between the ideas.

2. On the right hand

side you will have a
bar that shows the
different types of
colors and sizes of
the specified product.
Throughout the
outlay of the website

These are spot-on,

keen observations,
but Im wondering
so what? What
does this have to do
with the grand
scheme of genre
awareness/studies?

Thatll help you

tighten up the
transition.

The audience may now

be thinking, so what?
What does this have to
do with genre? As
stated before, the
overarching theme of
expressing all these

By clearing stating
the importance of
understanding genre,
I have informed the
audience on the who
cares matter and
why it is important.
This addition sets the

they will always have

large bright yellow
stars next to the
name of the product
detailing the rating
the product is given
based on previous
consumers reviews

3. You may be
thinking, what does
learning about Beats
and the websites that
sell them have
anything to do with
Genre?

minute details and

examples of
conventions of an
Advertisement add up
to the overall theme of
the advertisement
genre. This genre is
created with the sole
purpose of catching
your attention, to have
you leaving the website
with a newly item
purchased.

Who is you here?

Me? Using
pronouns can be
tricky, and you
might want to steer
clear of using too
many yous/wes.

Now, the audience may

also be thinking, what
does learning about
Beats and the websites
that sell them have
anything to do with
Genre?

tone on how I will be

answering the
importance of genre
awareness in
advertisements.

Throughout the
beginning paragraph
I became aware of all
the yous that I have
placed and began to
minimize them by
instead addressing
who I was talking ti
whether it was
audience, consumers,
etc. helps by making
essay more formal

4. It also teaches us
the importance of
genre because you
cannot get someone
to buy a product if
you do not know
how to appeal to
them, if you were
looking at it from the
website's point of
view.

5. The Ukrainian
crisis began

Im still wondering
what, exactly,
youll be arguing in
your paper.
Remember: this is
an argument, so you
need to take a
position.
(Readers typically
enjoy having a path
to follow if were
able to anticipate
whats coming up,
well be able to
follow along more
easily.)
Youre pumping a
lot (too much, I
think) into this
intro, Villalva. The
backstory, then
the articles that
youve selected and
how theyre
differentthats a
LOT

All of the conventions

and moves employed
by the website
advertisements are
specifically created in
order to get the
consumer into buying
the product, with that
being said knowing
these genres is key in
helping the audience
and consumer from
making an impaired
decision on an item.

The topic that they both

relate to are on the
2014 Ukrainian/Putin
Crisis.

I formalized my
thesis statement into
a more apparent
argument, explaining
to the reader what I
will be speaking
about. Taking a
position.

I basically
summarized the
whole intro summary
that I had on my first
paragraph into one
sentence. Before
leading my audience
into what I will talk
about, this gives them

6. In this essay I will

evaluate the iedas
that make Motyels
piece a more
successful and in
depth reading for his
audience through the
use of its genre,
rhetorical features
and conventions, as
opposed to Tisdalls
article.

This is supergeneral, Villalva.

The best thesis
statements are
specificthey give
your reader a for
sure path to
follow.

7. It is very
heavily
opinionated by
the author but
he does not
attempt to give
a definite
answer on what
may occur for
the future of the
crisis

Ah ha, so does this

being opinionated
have something to
do with genre?
And/or why this
piece is more or
less effective? And
lastly: is this,
ultimately, a major
part of your
argument?

It is important for
someone to understand
why the specific genre
of an article is key to
the performance of the
piece. Evaluating the
conventions and style
of Motyels piece will
help us better
understand why the
scholarly peer reviewed
article genre is more
important at spreading
information on a topic,
over Tisdall's article.

This is a style of the

news article genre since
the author of these
articles mostly make it
based on their opinion.
This indeed is a way to
get
the
audience
engaged on the topic,
but may not be as well
suited in giving total
factual information on
the topic that some
audiences may have
come for.

I state my
argument to the
audience without
using I and I
give a specific,
detailed
argument road
map to the
audience
showing what to
expect from my
essay. It also
answer to so
what? question.

I added on to
that sentence by
further
explaining the
significance of
that specific
authors opinion,
how it relates to
the genre and
why it made his
genre less
effective than
that over the
other article.