Darrell Webb

UWRT 1103
Professor Campbell
3/31/15
Early Marriage: For Better or For Worse?

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In the hierarchy of needs a desire for love, or belonging, falls in the third tier; right
belowabove physiological needs in the first tier such as eating, sleeping, and breathing as well as
safety needs in the second tier such as shelter and heath (McLeod "Maslow's Hierarchy of
Needs"). With a need for love being so close to immediate priority in the hierarchy of needs it is
strange to witness American culture shift further and further away from settling down at a young
age but still people continue to get married at an early age. Now, it is more socially acceptable to
have sort of a trial phase where someone will hook up with, or date, any number of people
before they finally settle down with the right person. The dating relationships include sex,
cohabitation, and the converging of financial resources that boil right down to being on the cusp
of marriage but without the vows. Which I can understand, if a couple is already doing all of the
things traditional married couples do what is the point of getting married so soon? I can also see
and agree with the counter argument of not prolonging marriage because of the behaviors already
established. Early marriage which is now defined by a study conducted and published in the
National Library of Medicine as anyone that marries under the age of 24 as opposed to a later
one, has its ups as well as its downsides as does a later marriage (Uecker & Stokes). An early
marriage allows couples to grow together as adults but also proves to be difficult because the
younger population tends to value their own wants and needs over the wants and needs of others.
The question posed is whether early marriage is still a healthy choice in the midst of this cultural
shift or is a later marriage actually the better choice?

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In order to figure out whether early marriage was still a viable choice I explored the
demographics of people who marry early. With each ethnicity comes a separate culture of norms
that shapes the views of marriage. Ethnicity is also a factor for what time a person will get
married. Hispanics are at the top of the list when it comes to early marriage followed closely by
Whites. Asians are the third most likely to get married early but their likely hood is distant from
Whites. Behind Whites on this list are Black people (Uecker and Stokes). Black people are the
least likely to get married early. BBlack men are over masculinized to the point where even
Black children are viewed as adults long before they are ready and able to be one. To be specific
about hypermasculinity I want to mention Tamir Rice, the 12 year old boy who was shot for
playing with a toy gun at a park. The police officer relayed to the dispatch that the child looked
as if he was 20 years old. ("Hypermasculinity" & Phillip). Within this hypermasculinity are their
views on marriage . Black men are generally taught by their fathers and peers to not settle down
until later in life, if at all. Having a long list of women that youve slept with is something to be
proud of. Its like the drawing your kid brings home from daycare that you know really isnt that
great but you post it on the fridge anyway and tell them youre proud of it. Early marriage as a
black man is an oddity but it still happens. A young couple that has the capacity or the desire to
settle down early and experience life together can have a healthy marriage.
More factors considered in marital timing are value of religionreligious value, religious
affiliation, and educational attainment.. There is no visible way to determine whether religion
plays a role in someones marital timing. Church attendance has shown no relevance in the
marital timing on its own but combined with self-reported religious values was thought to have a
correlation in young couples marital timing. The study also hypothesizes that the pledges of
abstinence for religion universally push younger couples to marriage much sooner (Uecker and

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Stokes). There are a number of people who go to church but value all of the ideals spread by the
church but the church is a good place to find the foundations of a moral compass. That being
said, thats where I believe the influence of self-reported religion comes in considering my
experience in a religious community. It is determined by how much one person lets their
spirituality affect their decision making in relationships. The religious aspect also offers more
compatibility within couples. Their ideology influences friendships made, financial decisions,
child care, and much more. Two people that share the same ideals will have a much easier time
making decisions and further developing their marriage. Although, there are couples who do not
share similar ideologies and their path to an early marriage will be dependent upon both being
accepting of each others spirituality or lack thereof. Ultimately, the studies done by Uecker and
Stokes show no large variation in numbers for young couples marital timing due to religious
values.
Instead, religious affiliation is what contained large numbers of variation. 42% of
Protestant women married under the age of 23. Jewish women and Black Protestant women were
the least likely to marry before 23: .fewer than Under 1% of Jewish women and only 11% of
Black Protestant women. Conservative Protestants and Mormons were both the most likely to
marry before 23. Catholics, Black Protestants, and Jewish men all fell on the bottom of the
spectrum for early marriage (Uecker and Stokes). While experiencing both Black Protestantism
and a general Protestantism church I understand the numbers. In the Black churches it is
common to hear people teach boys and young men that they should enjoy their young age.
Frequently I have heard the phrase Dont do anything now that you cant make right with God
later. That phrase ultimately gives young men the mindset that they can do whatever they want
and if they can sleep at night with the decision they made then let that decision standit goes.

While on the other hand, the women are told to find themselves a nice man at about the same
time the young men are being taught to wait until later in life to marry. In White Protestant
churches I see both women being encouraged to marry early and men being encouraged to wait
until after college if they end up going. I have seen that White Protestant church communities are
stricter about abstinence and cohabitation before marriage while its not as big of a deal in Black
Protestant churches. Religious affiliation is a big factor in marital timing because the principles
taught shape the views of who it is being fed to.
Both men and women who have strong interests in attending college have shown, in the
study, low numbers in early marriage. This is understandable because a lot of money is tied up in
paying for college and having to pay for college as well as a wedding is too much of a stress for
some families. Couples that are on the track to getting married typically wait until right after they
have graduated college which is normally around ages 23 & 24. Both women and men with high
test scores and high goals for educational attainment have been shown to delay marriage. Men
who came from higher levels of income and educational goals were shown to be unlikely to
marry around the age of 19 but were more likely to marry around the age of 23, or right after
college (Uecker & Stokes). In an article written by Justin Deeter, A Case For Early Marriage:
Why Its A Good Idea To Get Married Younga pastor, he advocates for an early marriage but
also mentions how American society is moving away from this practice. He promotes it as a way
for young adults to learn how to grow up and handle responsibilities better. His belief is that
Marriage pushes young men out of the nest to spread their wings and fly under the windy
pressures of life.. Religion is a major influence in marital timing and can also produce a stable
household. Even individuals who dont share similar ideologies can compromise on their ideals.

Another article entitledcalled 9 Things Nobody Told Me About Getting Married

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Young, by Kimanzi Constable, talks about early marriage and some of the things he and his
wife had to learn to overcome together. The first being arguments. He was shocked at some of
the trivial things they fought about when times were hard but they learned that effective and
authentic communication was key. Also, people that you are not married to do not stop being
attractive after marriage.other people dont stop being attractive after marriage. Although, taking
too much notice of these other people can hurt a marriage. For a while everything is sunshine and
rainbows but once that phase of the marriage is over both parties will recognize that they need a
bit of space. Combining lives is difficult. Marrying young means that both parties are still getting
to know themselves while committing to another person. They either grow together or apart.
Some single friends will bid their farewells. Interests stop lining up and they will feel the need to
move on. Make sure the relationship is about more than just sex. In-laws will try to get deeply
involved in your life. Pick and choose what you share with them. Finally, falling in love will be
an active, every day decision. Its choosing to stick with your partner through the best and the
worst. A wise counselor taught us that love isnt a feeling. Its a decision. There will be days
when you think youre falling out of love, there will be days when you think about calling it
quits. Love is a decision to stop listening to your emotions, and choose to stay together through
the tough times, (Constable). Constable gives his personal truths about marriage, it is difficult to
handle when young but it is possible if the couple will work to maintain it.
The cultural shift that is happening is causing people to focus more on self-interests.
Individuals are less likely to be influenced by family (Uecker and Stokes). People used to get
married based on social or economic status. Wealthy families would marry into other wealthy
families to combine resources and to climb the social ladder. Either the unwed children were

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restricted to certain families to marry into or their suitors were already chosen for them. Today,
family and demographics still influence marriage but nowhere near as much as it used to. The
focus now is more on the individuals wants and needs. Partners are found based on
compatibility as compared to financial or social opportunity. Couples whos parental figures have
high educational attainment, such as a Bachelors Degree or higher, typically delay marriage
because their parents can help to sustain them, financially, for a longer period of time. Couples
whos families originated in the South or other rural areas typically had a much higher rate for
early marriage than those originating in metropolitan areas. More than 30% of all women in the
South married before their 23rd birthday and 37% of women from rural areas married before that

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time as well (Uecker & Stokes).

In the middle of this cultural shift of delaying marriage until the later 20s people are still
getting married in and right out of college. Religious affiliation, spirituality, family background,
educational attainmentgoals, and the capacity to learn together are just some of the thing that
influence couples to marry early. The studies and articles referenced did not give a finite answer
as to whether early marriage was a viable option but rather they presented it as a choice. If a
person has the capacity to commit to another and make it work then an early marriage is a viable
option for them. If not, it may be better for them to wait until their late 20s, possibly even longer
than that. For better or for worse is up to the individual who is considering marriage. To answer
the question originally posed, whether or not early marriage is still a healthy and viable option, I
believe it is. It will require a combination of cooperation, preparation, and support in order to
have the marriage succeed in the long run but I believe, ultimately, that it is a viable option. I
believe it is better to experience life with someone by my side than to figure it out all on my
own. If love is to live to its potential, it should continue to sprout new stories and new journeys,

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sprinkling our lives with creativity and enjoyment rather than boredom, (Samudre "5 Reasons
Why I Got Engaged Before 23").
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Constable, Kimanzi. "9 Things Nobody Told Me About Getting Married Young."

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Contributors, Wikipedia. "Hypermasculinity." Wikipedia. Wikimedia Foundation, 24 Mar. 2015.

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Web. 26 Apr. 2015.

MindBodyGreen. MindBodyGreen, LLC, 28 Sept. 2014. Web. 31 Mar. 2015.
Deeter, Justin. "A Case for Early Marriage: Why It's a Good Idea to Get Married Young."

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Justindeetercom. 7 May 2013. Web. 31 Mar. 2015.

McLeod, Saul. "Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs." Simply Psychology. Saul McLeod, 17 Sept.
2007. Web. 26 Apr. 2015.
Phillip, Abby. "Cleveland Cop Said He had No Choice but to Shoot 12-year-old Tamir Rice,

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Father Says." Washington Post. The Washington Post, 2 Dec. 2014. Web. 26 Apr. 2015.
Samudre, Neal. "5 Reasons Why I Got Engaged Before 23." The Huffington Post.
TheHuffingtonPost.com, 4 Feb. 2014. Web. 26 Apr. 2015.
Uecker, Jeremy, and Charles Stokes. "Early Marriage in the United States." Journal of Marriage
and the Family. U.S. National Library of Medicine, 1 Nov. 2008. Web. 31 Mar. 2015.

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