Blake Steele 4/28/2015 9:53 AM

How to Win the

Online Dating Game

Get ready to change the game forever.

Blake Steele
BuzzFeed Staff

With the growing number of singles around the globe, digital dating
has become a popular way to meet and date new people.
In fact, nowadays one in every ten American adults report joining
an online dating service (Nuwer). This new method of snatching matches
was long controlled by popular dating websites such as eHarmony or
Match.com, but has recently switched to newly surfacing matchmaking
apps. Tinder, one of the most popular new dating applications, allows
smartphone users to view potential dates by simply flipping through
profile photos and skimming short bios in order to determine
compatibility. If interested in a potential match all one has to do is swipe
right, and if uninterested swipe left (Wood). Recent statistics show the
average Tinder user signs into the app about 11 times a day while
spending between 7-9 minutes swiping -- which can total a whopping 90
minutes each day (Bilton). The problem with these apps is not that were
given thousands of new faces to pick through, but that with the
overwhelming number of options were made into serial daters on a
quest for a perfection that doesn't exist (Pompey). So what can
consumers do to make this mind game back into the courtship it once

Comment [1]: What Hannah said about

my publisher being good because it touched
on a broader range of people made me
realize exactly what I wanted my audience
to be. I did not want my audience to be
everyone per se, but more my generation.

was? I took the honor of creating four simple solutions any aspiring
serial-dater can use to find love in a modern dating service.
1. Your Username
Everyone has to start somewhere and what better place than a
username? While this may not apply to Tinder, there are other computermediated dating services that ask you to make a pseudo-name. But it
seems that settling on a profile name can prove quite the challenge.
Selecting only a few words to sum up ones entirety when faced with the
issues of an already taken screen names, and confusing name
generators. Most users find it easier to just type in their own names
rather than add a fancy twist or a few numbers (Wood). Research on
attraction and persuasion conducted by Sameer Chaudhry (an intern at
the University of North Texas) and Khalid Khan (professor of womens
health and clinical epidemiology at Barts and the London School of
Medicine and Dentistry) helped them dig up 86 studies that honed in on
the factors that create real-world dates out of computerized exchanges.
Some of these studies revealed that men are attracted to usernames
with physical attributes in them, such as cute or pretty. While women are
more apt to search for usernames that imply intelligence such as
cultured or well read. The same research suggested either sex would
take positively to playful usernames like fun2bwith and avoid
usernames with words such as bug that hold negative connotations.
They also found that usernames starting with letters from the first 13
letters in the alphabet draw more attention than the last 13 letters.
(Nuwer). Dr. Khan explains that, as human beings, we have a tendency
to give things at the top of a pile more value. When dating online, it
always a good idea to consider ways to make your current username
more amiable and approachable. Be it by adding more interesting words
to arouse better results, or removing distasteful slang.
2. Your pictures
Online dating services are beginning to admit the single most
important thing that matters when matching is ones picture. Despite how
much companies akin to eHarmony insist that they have acquired a
scientific method for helping people fall in love. A post on OKCupids
Oktrends blog that was listed in early 2014 stated, a persons profile
picture is worth that fabled thousand words, but your actual words are
worth... almost nothing. Within the pictures we post on these sites, we
leave behind a myriad of hidden traits that other users pick up on when
viewing photos and use when deciding whether to swipe left or right.
Anything can factor into these hasty decisions from something as simple
as a style of clothing and as subtle as puckered lips or bad posture.
Whats in each photo tells us a lot about how another user such as how

Blake Steele 4/28/2015 9:50 AM

Comment [2]: Highlight your main points

Blake Steele 4/28/2015 9:50 AM

Comment [3]: Highlight your main points

they respond to social situations, how often they party, and sometimes
even how confident they are. For example picture of a guy at a pub
surrounded by friends is interpreted much differently than a picture of a
guy walking a dog on the beach (Bilton). So when posting pictures, ask
yourself what each one might imply about you. Use these hidden
queues as an advantage. Oh! And according to Christian Rudder,
founder of OKCupid, people with unique features, tattoos, and piercings
attract 10 percent more messages than what are considered to be
traditionally good-looking people (Gregoire). Which means, if you have a
little ink it might not be a bad idea to include it! (Tastefully of course!)
3. Your Bio
When viewing your profile, a potential date that makes it past your
pictures will most likely want to learn more about you, and their next stop
will be your bio. Dont have one? Well get typing!! Make sure to include
more than just positive attributes in your description. Professor of
Communications at the University of Iowa Andy High found that users
are more interested in interacting with others who are honest about what
they write about themselves. High stated that in a recent study,
participants gravitated toward account descriptions that contained info
that made the person seem more genuine -- such as the company they
work for, or their blog name, rather than a description of the perfect
person. High explained that more than anything, users simply desire to
see and relate to the person behind the profile. Users would rather have
more details about a potential suitors life, such as their job or interests,
rather than just positive, and sometimes exaggerated, adjectives
(Gregoire). Your bio should include information relevant to you such as
hobbies, interests, and aspirations. Theres no beef the bio up, just be
you!
4. Your Security
Lastly you should always exercise caution when providing
personal information on the Internet. When you disclose this sensitive
information, these websites fail to inform you that other dating sites may
receive that information as well as advertisers. Additional risks involved
with web-mediated dating such as predators and scams must also be
taken into consideration before agreeing to those terms and conditions.
When joining a dating website keep in mind you might also be also
putting your reputation at risk. Former Match.com CEO Greg Blatt
himself stated, What you do is more important than what you say. He
was referring to the difference between whom you browse through and
whom you match with. Websites such as Match.com will closely monitor
the kind of partners youre habitually attracted to take that into
consideration when pairing you with other users later (Privacy Rights

Blake Steele 4/28/2015 9:51 AM

Comment [4]: Highlight your main points

Blake Steele 4/28/2015 9:51 AM

Comment [5]: Highlight your main points

Clearinghouse). Making it important to keep in consideration just how in

depth these websites are able to go and just how much they are able to
do with the information you provide.
With these four things in mind you should find it much easier to
harness the innovations around us, and use them to help find your
perfect match.