Khoury

Shadi Khoury
Professor Ditch
English 113 B
8 May 2015
Reflection Essay
Going into college I felt very confident with my knowledge, work ethic, and
writing. I did very well throughout high school, so when I was admitted into a university
I felt so smart. I had the idea that I knew how to study, read, and write like a scholar.
Then my first semester hit me after I did not do so well as I anticipated I would, with my
first essay. I saw how many comments were on my paper. I noticed all the revisions that
were needed. I discovered how much work needed to be done. As my confidence dropped
immensely, I learned that writing is a learning process. It is more than just answering a
prompt, meeting the format, page requirement, and jotting down organized ideas. Writing
is a freedom of expression. Regardless of the assignment, writing provides and
opportunity for the author to speak their opinion; providing support and fact after fact
which later enhances the credibility. I love writing. As I learned from a whole semester of
developmental English, even the most expert writers need work. This helps me become a
better writer and student because I know that limits do not exist in writing.
As I reflect on this course this past semester, I owe gratitude to my professors and
to the English department for designing a course for remedial college students that made
us feel like actual college level students. I was tested each day whether it was through
attendance, annotations, assignments, or readings. I felt like the title did not exist that we
were not college level. The students and I were opened up to new ideas, new writing and

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reading strategies, new themes, and many new and controversial arguments. Also, we
were taught to effectively analyze every little detail that was thrown at us. We always
shared our opinions, always discussed in class, and never hesitated to write about
anything our professor assigned. In fact, most of the students and I enjoyed it. As a result,
I argue that my writing has improved throughout the semester and year overall.
To begin, the first essay I wrote in my English 113B course was named Project
Space. Here I was introduced to the concept of cultural space, and how I agree or
disagree with the idea. We were assigned to choose a position on whether we have
cultural space and define our own. This was such an exciting concept for me. I always
wanted to write about my culture and identity. Specifically, my argument was that being
a part of two cultures, while having the capability to adapt to both lives show that I live in
acceptance with my identity- representing a model of unity, embracing my cultural space.
I received an 87% on this essay. I am proud of my work and my score, but I know I
needed work. Specifically, things that I changed were the positions of my paragraphs.
After my surface revisions, I broke down my thesis into its four points. Then I labeled
each paragraph in my essay accordingly. I discovered my ideas were all over the place.
This did not provide an organized paper. As a writer I knew I must change my original
work that I was proud of. After my intro came a paragraph introducing two points from
my thesis. Those were, the definition of culture and acceptance, and being apart of two
cultures; this clouded my argument. What I did to change is- I take the first point,
definition of culture and acceptance, and moved it to my third point. This is change is
featured after the paragraph of multiculturalism.

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To clarify this sequence mess, I have four major points in regards to my thesis of

cultural space. My 1st point is being a part of two cultures, 2nd obtaining the capability to
adapt to both lives. My 3rd point is that I live in acceptance with my identity. Which
concludes to my 4th point, I represent a model of unity and embrace my cultural space. In
conclusion, I revised my essay based on structure and organization, nearly flipping it
upside down to a whole new essay. I believe this will enhance my argument and improve
my writing capability.
My second piece of evidence as to why I have become a better writer lies within
my revisions made in Project Text. I received a 91% on this essay, which was a major
improvement from project space. This essay was trickier than the first, but I used the
feedback from Space and applied it to Web. The assignment was to analyze a theme in
the book and argue a position about the theme. A theme I found was literature. I argued
that, literature provides certain citizens on the island of Guernsey a source of happiness
and sense of peace, as this constructs relationships and provides an escape to get through
the hardships of the occupation and strict rule under oppression of the Nazi regime. I am
very proud in this position and essay, but like any other it can always use some work. My
first step was basic surface revisions as far as grammar and paragraph clarity. I tweaked
some comma splices, sentence fragments, and other grammatical issues. Next, I used the
same technique that I did in revising my project space essay. I broke down my essay into
four points. I numbered each paragraph according to the point. Surprisingly the results
were that each paragraph sequentially matched with the points in my thesis. However, I
was not finished. To further improve my wiring and essay overall, I took much depth and
time in revising my sentences. To be specific, I thoroughly read each sentence and re

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phrased the ones that needed attention. The purpose of this was to enhance and clarify my
ideas. After doing this, I learned that the small things do matter. To conclude, I am proud
of my project text essay with all the highlights and revision for it strengthens and clarifies
my original argument and improves my writing overall.
Ultimately, I feel that I have effectively argued and proven that my writing skills
have improved. As I demonstrated my comprehension of my mistakes and needed
revisions, I accepted the necessary work and used them to my advantage to alter the state
of my two papers. Lastly, I am proud of my new and improved essays. I will not stop
writing or revising as I have accepted that this is apart of life and is a great learning
process.