HOW WRITING IS WON

An Examanation of How Writing is Won

Kyran A. Million
Academic Writing 310 with Zack De Piero
Antioch University Santa Barbara

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You may not think that going to a late-night smoky nightclub, bearing witness to
your favorite rock-n-roll bands, and drowning yourself in mediocre beer is all a product
of a well crafted email, but you would be wrong. Dead wrong. The details and precision
of those first words are responsible for delivering that experience to your body and
needed the utmost care to be intelligible, thorough, and relatable to the correspondent.
Without those things the reader would be potentially lost in its purpose, credibility, and
even its language. That person who is deliberating those pieces of writing and who is
responsible for that scene described is Jeff Theimer; President of New Noise Santa
Barbara. Theimer - upon request - shared with me his insight on how he - as a
professional - in the music business and local philanthropy work crafts different piece of
writing. In our conversation and upon analyzing the samples of his many documents, it
became very clear to me that to be a successful writer you must be direct, credible,
and apply professional communication.

Z hereIm trying to avoid the clutter. OK, so get suuuuuuuuper specific here, Ky.
What documents/writing/genres? Use the thesis statement to key your reader into
what, exactly, youve analyzed in this paper. Also, you include yourself (our) in this
sentence, and its the first time that youve entered. The thesis statement is a ~rough
place to do that because its so critical. Id either omit yourself from this sentence or
include yourselfI interviewed Jeff earlier.

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CONTEXT/ BACKGROUND:

Theimer and I met a few years back while I was promoting local and regional
music acts in the Santa Barbara county and decided to look into the hype of a new fall
festival that happened year prior called New Noise Music Festival. Upon meeting him I
started working for and along-side Theimer for almost 3 years. In that time, I began to
pick up tricks and skills along the way so that I could one day have my own successful
career in planning and creating large events. Until the opportunity to write this paper
arose I never considered where and how Theimer achieved all those impressive events,
but in the context of the academic writing class I didnt realized I needed to focus on the
initial medium where he begins planning his events, his writing. He Showed me several
documents to which he believed were accurate portrayals of his writing. They include: a
proposal to a philanthropy called Freedom Hill, the New Noise Mission/Vision
Statement, the About section on their website, and a sponsor proposal for Sonos Inc.
These, along with testimonial statements and professional opinions from an interview
with him, will be sources for the remainder of the paper. Seeing as this paper is in direct
relation to the academic writing class, I will be referring to his documents and writing
examples as artifacts and be referring to many traditional aspects of writing such as:
rhetoric, logos, pathos, ethos and kairos, conventions, professional communication,
audience, purpose, and his tone and style. All of those terms will be the factors utilized
to describe his artifacts as they relate to the classs literature and course-work. The
paper will be be comparing the interview, Theimers writing artifacts, and our course
material and will be staged in sections surrounding specific artifacts given to me by

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theimer as examples of: Direction (purpose), Credibility (ethos), and Professional

Communication (audience, tone/style, conventions).

Direction:
Direction is a writers purpose and establishes the reason behind an artifact. In
good writing, the author is very deliberate on how and why they structure an artifact.
Theimer (Notes For Notes - Freedom Hill 2014) This memo is intended to provide a
brief summary of possible donation and collaboration structures we believe can create a
vibrant and sustainable music community in Detroit. In the first few sentences of the
document Theimer sets the stage for everything that is going to be discussed in the
artifact. This decision to introduce the direction of the document early on is paramount
in the successful interpretation of his intended audience.
Again, Theimer (NNMF Strategic Vision 2014) This strategic plan provides a
framework for the implementation of the Foundations goals outlined in this document.
Without this direction, the reader may assume that the goals outlined part of the
document are arbitrary elements to its purpose. Lunsford, A., Ruszkiewicz, J., &
Walters, K. (Everything Is An Argument, Ch. 12012) examines how direction and guiding
our audience with our purpose and direction is often times more effective when it is
mentioned. But sometime it may take the writer to cover multiple topics to which the
audience become privy to after covering supplemental topics.
Theimer (Sonos Sponsor - Skate Park Youth Music Series pg. 1) New Noise
Music Foundation invites you to become a sponsor of our 2nd annual Santa Barbara
Skate Park Youth Music Series, In this artifact , theimer has to cover multiple aspects
around the purpose of contacting Sonos Inc. for this specific event. Later he follows up

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with, Theimer (Sonos Sponsor - Skate Park Youth Music Series pg. 2) We believe the
Santa Barbara Skate Park Music Series is an unparalleled opportunity for Sonos to
participate and support youth music performance opportunities in the Santa Barbara
region. Every section of an artifact should be contributing something to the overall
purpose and each section should be intentionally relating to each other. If the purpose
of the artifact is apparent and the structure of the artifact is supplementary to its point,
the audience will connect to the purpose of the artifact and the argument will be
successfully delivered. Theimer lets the recipient of the artifacts know why he has sent
them the document and then - in the most recent example - reiterates and checks for
understanding by relaunching the purpose for the artifact to include the opinion of New
Noise to why they are asking Sonos Inc. to participate.
Credibility
Being credible in writing is one the most important tools to persuading an
audience to a writers argument. Credibility is the a beneficial component of good
rhetoric. Losh, E. & Alexander, A. (Understanding Rhetoric 2013 Pg. 38) The way of
thinking about how we talk. In classical rhetorical debate, credibility on a topic attributes
to a writers Ethos. Losh, E. & Alexander, A. (Understanding Rhetoric Pg. 44) Ethos is
the credibility a writer brings to the subject he or she is communicating about. The idea
that being an expert in the field of debate can have mass appeal for any argument
because their title and relationship history to the subject backs-up the statements in any
artifact they compose. For example, Theimer (Notes for Notes - Freedom Hill Pg.1) We
currently have (2) studios in Boys & Girls Clubs in Santa Barbara, (2) in Nashville, (2) in
Los Angeles (1) in San Francisco, (1) in Ventura, CA, and coming in 2015 to Detroit,
Brooklyn, and Atlanta thanks to the CMA Foundation, Hot Topic Foundation and our
many sponsors. Theimer is supplementing his direction and purpose with these

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credible facts that give him the authority to be proposing a joint partnership with another
nonprofit entity of that of Freedom Hill. With those notable successes attached to his
name, he is now captivated more attention to his proposal because he is someone or is
a part of an organization who can make the argument tangible and enforceable.
Theimers (About Newnoisesb.com 2014) Past Performances Include: Jack
Johnson, Massive Attack, HAIM, Thievery Corporation, Imagine Dragons, Fitz & the
Tantrums, Phantogram, Holy Ghost! etc. These past accomplishments working with
professional musicians mean to others in the music industry and music lovers that the
writer of this event must have the integrity to provide with an influential event and
professional atmosphere. It encourages the audience that he knows what hes doing so
what he is writing about should be taken seriously.
Professional Communication
Professional Communication may seem like a vague statement to make on what
constitutes great persuasion and writing, but it is at the core of all great persuasive
writing. Every writing artifact complies to some genre that its conventions define it as
such or some are the first of their kind and create their own genre. Professional
Communication artifacts genuinely have conventions that are specific based around the
topic of the artifact being discussed. Theimer (Donation Letter - Oreana Winery 2014)
We appreciate your consideration and donation. The programs produced by the New
Noise Music Foundation, weekly, monthly and annually, are an important addition to the
Santa Barbara community.It is only with help from the community that we can continue
to serve Santa Barbara for years to come. In this thank you letter,Theimer is
considerate and addresses Oreana with high regard. Along with mentioning their charity,
he also explains why they did something important. He gave them the credit and

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convenience of knowing where their donation went and then elevated them to a level of
communal prestige and service. Attached to the back of this paper is the copies of the
mentioned artifacts. Theimer (Donation Letter - Oreana Winery 2014) is also formatted
in a professional manner with New Noise business information, staff, contact info, and
their business/tax id. These subtle adornments to the document are essential to
delivering clear and appropriate communication when working among professionals.
The Donation Letter is a formal document that should demonstrate customary
formatting, formal language, and structure for most if not all artifacts being used within
the organization or outside it.
On a more informal note, a professional can and will take certain liberties if they
deem the audience receptive to their jargon or lackadaisical style. In Theimers artifact,
Notes for Notes Week Of Advance, he delivers very specific details about a benefit
concert itinerary while setting a relaxed and friendly mood. Theimer (Notes for Notes
Week Of Advance 2014) All times subject to change. Rock & Roll Time.... Theimer in
all his experience knows his audience and that using a little humor to coast an artifact
can make everyone a little less stressed and keeps the audience interested. Every
decision in an artifacts direction, the writers citations or credibility, and reaching our
intended audience needs to be played based on the professional communication skills
of the writer. Context is king and it helps the writer choose the appropriate language to
effectively deliver their credibility and purpose in their artifact.
Summation:
All successful writing must go through very thorough steps to provide the
audience with a justifiable and relatable argument. My paper highlights my Interviewee,

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Jeff Theimer, who considers in advance how and why he is writing and what and where
he must include his points before he publishes an artifact. His discretion on the direction
and purpose is heavily considered so his argument is effective like when he structured
his Sonos Inc. Proposal for Skaters Point or the structuring of his Mission and Visionary
Statement for New Noise. All were very intentional and without contemplation on who,
what, where, and why, those artifact would be hard for his audience to follow or they
could miss the point entirely. Mr. Theimer also decides on almost always including who
he is and what he stands for. Who ever his audience is, they can acknowledge that he is
someone who should be writing these artifacts and has the authority to be addressing
them. His relationship to his artifacts is not only characterized by what he has
accomplished, but in the way he says it. He writes with is professionalism. Theimer is
very considerate on his language choices. In our interview and in the artifacts he sent
me, much, if not all, his words are intentional. Theimer is not the only writer to provide
insight into their best practices regarding their writing, but he is a perfect example of
how being Direct, credible, and using professional communication makes his arguments
a success.

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References
Losh, E. & Alexander, A. (2013). Understanding Rhetoric. Boston, MA:
Bedford/St. Martin's

Lunsford, A., Ruszkiewicz, J., & Walters, K. (2012). Everythings an Argument.

Boston, MA: Bedford/St. Martin.
Attached Documents
Notes for Notes Benefit - Week Of Advance
Donation Letter - Oreana Winery
NNMF - Strategic Vision Statement
Notes For Notes - Freedom Hill Proposal
Sonos Sponsor - Skate Park Youth Music Series
About Section www.newnoisesb.com