Running head: THE ROLE OF PARENTING IN THE DEVELOPMENT OF EMOTIONAL

REGULATION

EDPS 650
Family and Social Bases of Behaviour
Research Paper

The Role of Parenting in the Development of Emotional Regulation

Amy Donovan
June 24, 2013

Current research in emotion regulation has its basis in the psychology of defences,
psychology of stress & coping, Attachment Theory and Emotion Theory (Gross & Munoz,

THE ROLE OF PARENTING IN THE DEVELOPMENT OF EMOTIONAL REGULATION

1995).Throughout the literature, there has been an attempt to conceptualize and define the term
emotion regulation for the purposes of clarity. Yet, the complexity of emotions and the
ambiguity of the term itself has made a universally agreed upon definition all but impossible
(Gross & Thompson, 2006). As such, working definitions which describe the typical features of
emotion regulation have been utilized. Calkins, Gill, Johnson & Smith define emotional
regulation in terms of efforts on the part of the individual to manage, modulate, inhibit and
enhance emotions (Calkins, Gill, Johnson & Smith, 1999). Spinrad, Stifter, Donelan-McCall &
Turner suggest it is the process involved in modulating, increasing or redirecting emotional
responses and abilities. Denham et al. define it as the substantial ability to understand others
emotions, to react to others emotions and to regulate their own emotional expressiveness
(Denham et al., 2010). Despite the variety of definitions, common threads exist in the research.
Certainly, few would dispute that the acquisition of emotion regulation skills and strategies is a
critical achievement of early childhood (Calkin & Leerkes, 2004). Copious research points to
the vital nature of these skills for overall success (Calkins,Gill, Johnson & Smith, 1999;
Eisenberg et al., 2001; Graziano, Reavis, Keane & Calkins, 2007; Greenberg, Kusche & Speltz,
1991; Gross & Munoz, 1995; Spinrad, Stifter, Donelan-McCall & Turner, 2004). Children who
are able to regulate their emotions are more successful in social interactions with their peers and
are more successful socially overall. (Blair, Denham, Kochanoff & Whipple, 2004, Calkins, Gill,
Johnson & Smith, 1999; Calkin & Leerkes, 2004). Moreover, the ability to regulate ones
emotions has been correlated with quality of mental health and sense of well-being (Denham,
Blair, Schmidt & DeMulder, 2002). With these significant advantages, the question then is how
might parents foster the development of emotion regulation in their children? What follows is a
review of the current literature in order to evaluate the role of parenting in the development of

THE ROLE OF PARENTING IN THE DEVELOPMENT OF EMOTIONAL REGULATION

emotional regulation. Specifically, the home environment and parent emotionality are examined
for both their positive and negative effect on the development of emotion regulation as well as
parent response to their childs emotion. It is important to note however, that the discussion here
is the tip of the iceberg in terms of the research and in no way represents an exhaustive list of
ways in which parents impact the development of emotion regulation.
The inability to regulate ones emotions has been linked in the research to a variety of
negative outcomes (Blair, Denham, Kochanoff & Whipple, 2004; Calkins, Gill, Johnson &
Smith, 1999; Denham et al., 2010; Gross & Thompson, 2006). Children who struggle to regulate
their emotions display more negative emotionality, engage in more conflict-oriented behaviors
and have more difficulty with peers than those who are able to regulate emotions (Blair,
Denham, Kochanoff & Whipple, 2004; Greenberg, Kusche & Speltz, 1991; Calkins, Gill,
Johnson & Smith, 1999; Denham et al., 2010). They may demonstrate a lower tolerance for
frustration, have difficulty inhibiting impulsive behavior and may be more irritable than their
peers (Conway, 2010). Children who exhibit excess sadness or fear are at greater risk for social
withdrawal than peers who demonstrate typical emotion (Blair, Denham, Kochanoff & Whipple,
2004). Likewise, children who display excessive anger or frustration are at greater risk for
externalizing behaviors (Blair, Denham, Kochanoff & Whipple, 2004). In the school setting,
children who struggle with emotion regulation spend less time on task and receive less feedback
from teachers (Blair, Denham, Kochanoff & Whipple, 2004). Overall, they have fewer rewarding
school experiences and therefore are less interested and motivated to succeed (Blair, Denham,
Kochanoff & Whipple, 2004). Graziano, Reavis, Keane & Calkins study of kindergarten
children found that emotion regulation positively predicted performance on math and early
literacy standardized tests as well as overall academic success (Graziano, Reavis, Keane, &
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THE ROLE OF PARENTING IN THE DEVELOPMENT OF EMOTIONAL REGULATION

Calkins, 2007). In the same study, better emotion regulation skills were related to improved
attention and the ability to learn new information (Graziano, Reavis, Keane, & Calkins, 2007).
Gumora & Arsenios study demonstrated that the emotional disposition and related academic
affect of middle school students is predictive of academic performance (Gumora & Aresino,
2002).Thus, the failure to develop emotion regulation skills may have severe consequences for
children as they grow and develop.
Research has shown that there is a biological preparedness for emotional expression
present at birth (Brody, 1985). During the first year of life, infants display individual differences
in their capacity to regulate their positive and negative emotions (Grolnick, Kurowski &
Gurland, 1999; Mangelsdorf, Shapiro & Marzolf, 2008). While research has shown that
temperament is a factor in a childs ability to regulate emotion, parents play a critical role in the
emotional socialization of their child (Blair, Denham, Kochanoff & Whipple, 2004; Mangelsdorf,
Shapiro & Marzlof, 2008).

Environmental characteristics, particularly mothering behaviors, are

central to the development of childrens emotional regulation (Spinrad, Stifter, Donelan-McCall

& Turner, 2004). As infants are completely dependent, mothers are the mechanism for
regulating their childs affect until they acquire the skills to regulate on their own (Spinrad,
Stifter, Donelan-McCall & Turner, 2004). The basis for the development of emotional
competence is the secure attachment to at least one caregiver, typically the mother (Denham,
Blair, Schmidt & DeMulder, 2002; Spinrad, Stifter, Donelan-McCall & Turner, 2004). This
attachment relationship enables children to learn appropriate ways to develop trust in others & to
express appropriate affect during social interactions (Denham, Blair, Schmidt & DeMulder,
2002). As children grow, mothers alter their regulatory strategies to meet the developmental level
of the child (Spinrad, Stifter, Donelan-McCall & Turner, 2004). During the second and third
3

THE ROLE OF PARENTING IN THE DEVELOPMENT OF EMOTIONAL REGULATION

years of life, childrens maturation allows for the utilization of increasingly sophisticated
regulation strategies that reflect the childs cognitive and language development (Spinrad, Stifter,
Donelan-McCall & Turner, 2004).
While secure attachment is a necessary prerequisite for the development of emotion
regulation, home environments can foster or undermine the early capacity of children (Grolnick,
Kurowski & Gurland, 1999). The emotional disposition of parents themselves, the manner in
which they respond to their childs emotions and the degree to which emotional expression is
accepted, work together to impact how children are socialized in the area of emotion regulation
(Grolnick, Kurowski & Gurland, 1999). A home environment where the open expression of
emotion is encouraged provides fertile ground for the development of emotion regulation skills
(Spinrad, Stifter, Donelan-McCall & Turner, 2004). Parents who value a home environment
where children are free to express their emotions have created the optimal setting for coaching
their child how to cope with their emotion. When children feel comfortable expressing their
emotions, parents are able to teach the necessary skills through direct teaching both during the
emotional event and after. Waters et al. point to the advantages of the parent and child engaging
in retrospective reminiscing or reflecting on and discussing the emotional event once there has
been distance (Waters et al., 2009). Teaching children how to manage their feelings and
successfully cope in stressful situations fosters the development of social skills, teaches them to
interpret and understand others' emotional reactions and helps them recognize the types of
emotional expression that is appropriate and effective in social settings (Eisenberg et al., 2001).
Mothers use of explanations can improve childrens ability to deal with emotion (Spinrad,
Stifter, Donelan-McCall & Turner, 2004). When explanations are included in the discussion,

THE ROLE OF PARENTING IN THE DEVELOPMENT OF EMOTIONAL REGULATION

children learn to clarify, interpret and understand their own emotional states and appropriate
ways in which to respond (Spinrad, Stifter, Donelan-McCall & Turner, 2004).
Furthermore, parents who support their childs autonomy, providing opportunities for
them to problem solve and engage in age-appropriate responsibilities, demonstrate that they
value their childs feelings, perspectives, and developing independence (Grolnick, Kurowski, &
Gurland, 1999). Children have been found to be less distressed when required to independently
regulate their emotions if they have mothers who have a pattern of supporting their childs
attempts to self-regulate as opposed to taking responsibility for their regulation (Grolnick,
Kurowski & Gurland, 1999). These opportunities, to practice skills in a safe environment with
the care and support of a parent, encourage the healthy development of emotion regulation.
Children who have these experiences are motivated to comply with and internalize parents'
standards for appropriate behavior (Eisenberg et al., 2001). Conversely, Children of controlling
parents may never be given the opportunity to practice the skills necessary to develop emotion
regulation (Spinrad, Stifter, Donelan-McCall & Turner, 2004). A study by Berlin & Cassidy
reveals that mothers who reported greater control of their childs expression of emotion had
children who were less likely to express and openly share their feelings (Berlin & Cassidy,
2003). Solving problems for children and taking responsibility for their actions, while at first
glance may appear harmless, are forms of control that can be detrimental to childrens
development of crucial life skills (Grolnick, Kurowski & Gurland, 1999).
In addition to direct coaching, children learn to regulate by observing how their parents
cope with emotion. Children observe the manner in which parents express their emotions both
generally and during interactions with them (Eisenberg et al., 2001). Research has shown that
warm, encouraging and positive parental expressivity is linked with childrens ability to
5

THE ROLE OF PARENTING IN THE DEVELOPMENT OF EMOTIONAL REGULATION

understand emotions and to express them in a socially acceptable manner (Eisenberg et al., 2001;
Gross & Thompson, 2006; Waters et al., 2009). While the positive expression of emotion is
optimal, children also need the opportunity to observe parents appropriately responding to
negative emotion. Through these experiences, children develop an understanding of functional
ways to cope with negative feelings (Eisenberg et al., 2001). Frequent negative expression on the
part of the parent has been correlated with childrens dysfunctional regulation (Chang, Schwartz,
Dodge & McBride-Chang, 2003; Eisenberg et al., 2001). Moreover, parents who express
emotion in a negative manner may themselves have difficulty regulating emotions. Through the
modelling of dysfunctional coping, children learn inappropriate ways of both expressing and
dealing with their own emotion (Eisenberg et al., 2001; Gross & Thompson, 2006). Children
whose parents display negativity toward them often respond with indifference (Eisenberg et al.,
2001). As a result, they are less motivated to comply with parents' requests or to internalize
standards of behavior (Eisenberg et al., 2001).
Children learn, not only from how their parents deal with emotion, but also the way in
which parents respond to their expression of emotion (Eisenberg et al., 2001). As discussed
above, the most favorable parental response involves a positive approach where emotional
outbursts are considered teaching opportunities. However, a punitive response or one in which
the childs feelings are minimized can result in the development of dysfunctional regulation
skills (Eisenberg et al., 2001; Gross & Thompson, 2006). For example, questioning a childs
expression of emotion doesnt provide the tools or encouragement for children to learn selfregulation skills (Spinrad, Stifter, Donelan-McCall & Turner, 2004). When mothers question
their childs emotion, for example, Why are you angry?, they are minimizing the childs
emotional experience. Over time, these children learn to hide their emotions and may avoid
6

THE ROLE OF PARENTING IN THE DEVELOPMENT OF EMOTIONAL REGULATION

learning ways to effectively deal with negative feelings (Spinrad, Stifter, Donelan-McCall &
Turner, 2004). Parental minimizing reactions have been found to be related to more negative
outcomes in pre-school and school-aged children, such as avoidant coping and low levels of
social competence (Spinrad, Stifter, Donelan-McCall & Turner, 2004). Similarly, giving in or
granting a childs request when they are upset has been found to negatively impact the
development of emotion regulation (Spinrad, Stifter, Donelan-McCall & Turner, 2004). When
mothers give-in to their childs requests, children receive reinforcement for expressing negative
emotion and use this strategy to get what they want (Spinrad, Stifter, Donelan-McCall & Turner,
2004). Mothers use of giving in at 18 months predicted a negative affect at age 5 (Spinrad,
Stifter, Donelan-McCall & Turner, 2004). By indulging children during challenging situations,
parents fail to take advantage of opportunities for their children to learn ways of dealing with
emotions in the future (Spinrad, Stifter, Donelan-McCall & Turner, 2004).
While children are born with an innate ability for emotional expression, parents are the
primary agents responsible for socializing the child, teaching adaptive and socially acceptable
ways in which to regulate those emotions (Brody, 1985; Calkin & Leerkes, 2004). Not only
through direct teaching but through the home environment created, the parental response to the
childs emotion and the parents own style of emotional expression, children will develop ways
in which to express and cope with their own emotions. As this achievement has significant
social, behavioral and psychological consequences, it is up to parents to carefully consider how
to best meet the emotional needs of their child.

THE ROLE OF PARENTING IN THE DEVELOPMENT OF EMOTIONAL REGULATION

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