Colton Opel

October 8, 2015

1. Write a paragraph or two that summarize(s) your overall reaction to your peers comments in
light of how you felt your original essay met the goals of the assignment. Was your primary
reaction surprise? Agreement? Something else? Explain.
I wasnt too surprised at the revisions my peers had made. For the most part I agreed with the
changes. They told me to elaborate more on the short stories and give detail, which I had previously
stated that I needed to fix those errors in the cover letter. I felt like it was good to have the essay I
did, because I knew it needed improvement and it wasnt perfect.
2. Write a paragraph or two that summarize(s) your overall reaction to my (your teachers)
comments in light of how you felt your original essay met the goals of the assignment. Was
your primary reaction surprise? Agreement? Something else? Explain.
The comments the professor made were accurate of what I needed to expand on and correct.
Although it looked like a lot of corrections to make, I knew of a couple ways I could fix them. I felt
there were a lot more notes from the professor than my peers. I expected that to be true, which helps
me more to find the flaws of my essay. It also gives me a lot more perspective of what the reader is
going through trying to understand my paper.

3. Next, for each major revision suggestion, please restate them (in your own words) and briefly
explain either how you plan to incorporate the suggestions into your revised draft or why you
feel a certain suggestion would not serve to improve your essay. You are also encouraged to
note which suggestions you found most/least clear and helpful. Please note that resisting
revision suggestions is perfectly acceptable as long as you can provide a logical rationale
behind your decision. For example, if you feel a certain decision you madeas is
effectively fulfills the goals of the assignment and serves your intended audience/purpose,
make sure you explain why. You might discuss your plans or anything that would hinder you
from making these revisions.

My introduction paragraph needs to introduce the road to literacy theme. It needed more
elaboration on the idea, before I went into the story about elementary school.

Revision: I plan to work on my introduction more and give what road to literacy is all about. Also I
will move the story about elementary school down to another paragraph.

I should explain how a sermon is different from an essay and how it was connected with me in a
certain way

Revision: I will talk more about the sermons connection to me.

My conclusion paragraph is not an actual conclusion

Revision: I will work on concluding my paper in a better way

I should express the idea of a journey more throughout the paper, while using that to transition
between stories. Basically rewrite the intro and conclusion to fit that idea. I need to expand on
certain instances in the short stories

Revision: I will create a new introduction and concluding paragraph with the idea of the road to
literacy. Also I will give specific instance in some of the short stories about that journey.