At what age should adolescents be allowed to go out on dates? Each boy or girl develops an interest in the other sex at his or her own pace. Girls are likely to be interested in dating and dancing a year or so earlier than boys. The differences are normal and a wise parent refrains from comparing his child with others. Today's young people are never wanting in ideas about how to spend their time. They also develop healthy boy-girl friendships rather early, Perhaps because the present generation is less inhibited and more comfortable with the opposite sex than the previous generation. Among Filipino adolescents, the common activities are disco dancing, going to the movies, and sports. Inter- school activities also draw boys and girls together and lead to close friendships. Dating Although no timetable for dating will apply to all young people, boys and girls commonly go out on group dates before they begin to date in pairs. For young people, group dating is preferable to dating in pairs. Parents should determine the adolescent's level of maturity. Certain ages are categorically too young, like 13 or 14. A more important consideration, however, is trust. Young people always say their parents do not trust them. But are they trustworthy? Parenting really is an interaction — a give and take between parent and child or adolescent. Groups of parents should try to get together and draw up a code of behavior to guide young people on their dates. The code should cover such Points as the following: The time the social affair should end for boys and girls at specific age: QO The adults who should be Present at the Parties; O Sufficiency of lighting at all times; © How to deal with party “crashers”; Transportation to and from the parties and assurance of safe driving; G_ Respect for property; Agreement that alcoholic beverages should not be served to the young people; Agreement among the families that they should stay where they can be reached at any time in case of emergency. —— seAng pakikipagdate ay isang normal at natural na bahagi ng pakikipag-ugnayan saisang babae olalaki. Ito ay mahalagang karanasan sa pagkilala ng bawat isa— sa kilos, gawa, pananaw sa buhay, at sa kinabukasan. Ito ay magandang bahagi ng tinatawag na growing-up period ng isang kabataan upang matutunan ang Pakikipagkilala at pakikisama sa opposite sex. Ang pakikipagdate ay isang paraan upang malaman kung ang isang babae at lalaki ay compatible 0 magkabagay. Mahirap nga lamang kung ang konsepto ng pagiging compatible ay sinusukat sa Pamamagitan ng sex at wala nang ibang batayan. Akalang maraming kabataan na sa pamamagitan lamang ng paghahalikan, necking, petting, o tuluyang pagtatalik 0 Sexual intercourse nalalaman kung magkatugma ang dalawa, o kung tunay na mahal ng isang babae ang kanyang boyfriend. Hindi ito totoo! ‘Ang sukatan ng compatibility ay hindi lamang sex, Naririyan din ang compatibility ng pag-isip, ng"moral” at “religious values,” at ng prinsipyo sa buhay, ng maturity sa isipan, ng pananaw sa buhay at hinaharap, ng mga plano tulad ng pag- aaral, karera, buhay may-asawa, at pagiging magulang. Kung matagal nang magnobyo ang isang babae at lalaki, di malayong magkaroon silang tinatawag na sexual intimacies, kagaya ng kissing, necking at petting na maaaring matuloy sa sexual intercourse. Kung may mga intimacies na ganito, dapat lamang na mabatid ng dalawa ang maaaring ibunga nito. Katulad ng unwanted pregnancy. Dapat din nilang malaman na hindi sumasang. ayon ang karamihan ng mga relihiyon at mga magulang sa lahat ng uri ng “sexual intimacies” at “premarital sex.” Ang Pakikipagdate at Premarital Sex Dapat natin maipabatid na hinihingi ng ating kultura, relihiyon, batas at kaugalian na ang isang ~ babae o lalaki ay dapat na virgin o malinis ang puri bago ikasal, at ang pagtatalik o sex ay Pinahintulutan at ginagawa lamang ng mag- asawang kasal. Walang sex bago ikasal, walang sex maliban Saasawa. Ang mga panuntunang ito ay maraming ulit nang hindi nasunod, lalo na sa mga kabataan, Dala siguro ng pagiging curious 0 sadyang Pagwawalang bahala o dala ng pag-ibig, na siyang malimit idahilan ng mga babaeng pumapayag makipag-sex sa kanilang boyfriend. Para sa mga kabataang sumuway dito, ang mga naging bunga ay unwanted pregnancy o pagbubuntis na di nais, sitang reputasyon, o sirang buhay. Ayon sa mga nakakaalam, higit na maraming babae kaysa sa alaki ang nagdusa dahil sa mga bungang ito. ‘Sa mga sususunod na pakikipagdate, tukuyin at tanungin ang sarili: “Kaya ko bang harapin ang mga ibubunga ng pre-marital sex?” bago humantong sa isang sexual intimacy. SES oo2. Premarital Sex is one of the greatest risks because of the possibility of out-of-wedlock Pregnancy. With the rise of sexual feelings, the adolescent is naturally driven to explore sexual contact with the opposite sex. Such could be part of the normal need for experimentation and exploration characteristic of adolescence, or upon influence of a peer group as part of the identity crisis, or out of loneliness which is not uncommon during this Stage. At times, it could arise from economic Pressure resulting in more serious Consequences such as prostitution and promiscuity. Like masturbation, premarital sex is not allowed by the society, the Catholic Church and by most other religious sects. 3. Teenage Pregnancy is one of the more serious Consequences of premarital sex, for it breeds @ host of complications which could have far reaching implications for both the girl and the boy. Teenage pregnancy may have certain unconscious meanings such as substitute for a lost object (parent or boyfriend). It may also spring from some neurotic conflict such as the edipal, or from an unconscious desire to get Pregnant, or a need to identify with the baby, or anced to be taken care of. Such roots in the past help mold the subsequent sexual behavior of the teenager. It has been observed that not infrequently, out-of wedlock pregnancy among teenagers gets repeated despite the anguish and anxiety attendant to the first one. It is important therefore that the unconscious underpinnings of such behavior are explored and understood so that the appropriate support and assistance can be rendered to the distressed adolescent, 4. Homosexuality, defined in operational terms, is any behavior involving sexual relations with a member of the same sex. By itself it does not necessarily constitute a psychiatric disorder. It may, however, take on different meanings in different personality set-ups. Overt homosexuality may signify fear of the opposite sex or of adult responsibility. It may indicate aneed to defy authority or an attempt tocope with hatred for or competitive attitudes to members of one’s own sex. It may even be a flight from reality. If there is no attendant anxiety to overt homosexual behavior, the adolescent will seldom come for help although concerned parents may insist that the adolescent be “treated” and swayed away from it, It is a well-known fact that homosexuality, whether reparative or not, is most difficult to Teverse, Although the behavior may manifestREADING inacontinuum from adjustment reaction to a more serious Psychosis. The degree of tolerance to frustration and the propensity for acting out an impulse must be determined. One must also keep in mind the degree of inhibitions as well as the ability of the adolescent for reality testing. 2. Catharsis: allows the client to 7e-live the experience and thus release accompanying feelings with relief of guilt and/or fear. This neutralizes the feelings so that what is verbalized need not be acted out. This also acknowledges the emotional dimensions of — human experience indicating that feelings are VALID data. Just letting the client talk is very supportive; it allows him to feel without the fear that he would lose control, and to discharge emotions in a non-punitive, non-judgmental situation. Clarification: by allowing the client to elaborate on his problem, one can re-state the problem more clearly, prioritizing the issue and concerns so that the counseling can be more systematic, 4. Confrontation: the main focus of counseling wherein alternative views of reality are presented, thus offering another way of seeing situations. One prerequisite to change is for the client to “own” the problem, to recognize his responsibility and role in the problem. 5. Problem Solving and Resolution: with the available data, the client can now make decisions in a supportive environment which is the counseling situation. Some resolutions could be: a, Adjustment to internal and external stress b. Alteration of defenses destructive to adjustment, and; ©. Re-evaluation of self with modification of unrealistic attitudes and striving,Adolescence and Sexual Values Important : This reading material is strictly for guidance teachers and teachers only. Sexual values refers to rules of conduct pertaining to sexual matters. The way a person makes judgment with respect to his own sexual behavior and that of others reflects his own sexual values. It has been observed that young people often are confused and in need of guidance with respect to sexual values, This is because the sexual values of our society in the first place is rather confused, Itis important that young people are helped in their search for a personal sexual value system which is both practical and consistent with the teachings of their parents, teachers and their church. A person who accepts himself including his sexuality and has positive attitudes toward sex is more likely to develop satisfactorily both physically and physiologically. He or she would be able to accept his/her sexual gender and social role. He or she would understand the psychological differences between the sexes, and would be able to develop and maintain a satisfying relationship with the opposite sex. Positive and sound attitudes toward sex is essential, so that a person can accept himself/herself, the sexual needs and feelings that are so much a part of his/her being, and be able to cope with them sensibly and responsibly. A person's attitudes toward sex determine his/her personal views regarding sexual behavior, and influence the way he/she relates to other people. Sexuality is an imegral part of personality, and just like two interlocking gear wheels, one influences the other, ‘What are the factors that influence our young people and their views toward sex? Traditional oriental conservatism has been a major influence. These are deep rooted beliefs: “ Speak no devil and hear no devil”. Sex and anything that has to do with it are regarded as evil and immoral. However, curiosity and fantasy about sex are usual behaviors of adolescents going through the physical and sexual maturation process. The traditional conservatism may cause guilt feelings and anxiety, which have adverse effects on the individual's psychosexual development. New ideas from the west especially those pertaining to sex is anciher influencing factor. Prone to suggestions and ready to imitate, the youth are constantly exposed to sexual exaggerations from the advertising and entertainment media. Often, sex is taken only at its face value and is sought for its own sake as aSexuality and Sex Sexuality is a broad term referring to one’s full personhood as a male or a female. Sex is a more limited term referring to one’s reproductive system and genital behavior as male or female. It has to do with biology, anatomy, physiology. It is crucial element in everyone's sexuality — a given that persons need to accept with comfort, understand clearly, and employ responsibility and joyfully. Sexuality is the term that refers to the fusion of ‘sex’ with personal identity. Human sexuality includes the entire sexual identity and psychic orientation of an individual and is part of, and dependent upon, one’s self-concept. The terms ‘male’ and ‘female’ properly relate to ‘sex’. ‘Masculinity’ and ‘femininity’ are the terms that refer to ‘sexuality’. They are psychological and relate a person's sexual identity to the whole personality structure. When, we say that a man lacks confidence about his masculinity, we are not simply speaking of male genitalia; rather, it is a question of one’s self-concept and how one relates to others. ‘Masculinity’ and ‘femininity’ - as generally understood — have been seen in the light of Particular stereotyped gender roles. These stereotypes stem from cultural myths, traditions, and practices. Gender roles are changing significantly. Stereotypes are being challenged, and many persons are confused about what is ‘masculine’ and what is ‘feminine’. For some, there is a crisis regarding one's ‘sexuality’ — in effect, one’s self-identity. *Sexuality’, then, is related not simply to sex acts, but to what is to be a boy or man, a girl or woman, in relation to other persons in society. One's sexuality depends upon one’s psychosocial development, one’s self-identity and gender identification, as well as upon one’s sex. When one develops sexually as a male, for example, but develops psychosocially in such a way as to identify oneself as a woman, we have a transsexual phenomenon -an individual who is biologically a male, but who feels himself to be a woman trapped in amale body. Itis such an individual who seeks a sex change operation. ‘Much of one’s psychosocial development is due to influences of family life, conditioning by parents, and the marital pattern provided by mother and father. Family life education and education concerning human sexuality, therefore, are inseparable. Harold W. Minor, Jr. ——Adolescence is also characterized by intense emotionality. Adolescent passions find expression in many ways: moodiness, outbursts of temper, withdrawal, refusal to communicate, Notonly are the adolescent's emotions ‘intense, they are also often conflicting. One moment you have a cuddly, loving teener, and an aloof, withdrawn individual the next. These shifts are attributable, for the most part, to the fact that an adolescent is said to have to journey, but has not yet reached his destination. The destination, in this case, is adulthood, Emotional and Behavioral Changes affection they had in their childhood, but no longer express this need as openly and spontaneously as in the past. This holds true for both sexes. Most of the time, they express theirneed through behavior which parents mistake for aloofness, “I don’t care attitude, etcetera”, rather than a “cry for affection.” Toward the latter part of adolescence, behavior usually becomes turbulent because expectations of the adolescent are greater then. This is when decisions have to be on such crucial matters as a college course or a career. Add to that the confusion brought about by the expectations of those around him. Take the case of Junior. He asks permission to gotoaparty and he is told: “ You're too young tobe partying”. ‘The next morning, Mother looks in on the still sleeping Junior and wakes him with: “ It’s nine a.m. You're old enough to see to it that you wake up in time for school!” Junior cannot help mulling over the matter: Am I “too young” or “old enough?”, Another interesting but subtle emotional change isthe adolescent's need for the caring of his or her earlier years. Without wanting to seem babyish, adolescents feel the need to ask for theREADING Sexuality: How Does It Affect One's Relationships and Responsibilities? Important : This reading material is strictly for guidance councelors and teachers only. The word "sexuality" is often misunderstood. Some people assume that sexuality Tefers to only one thing — sexual intercourse. Certainly, sexual intercourse is one way people express their sexual feelings. Intercourse is often associated with sexuality because it is the process by which pregnancy occurs and reproduction is generally associated with sexuality. ‘The concept of sexuality should be introduced in its broadest sense. Sexuality includes the birth-to-death processes of how a person thinks, feels and acts: how he or she sees the world: and how the world sees men and women. Sexuality also involves physical aspects, including body growth, changes associated with Puberty, and physiological processes such as menstruation, ovulation, and ejaculation. An individual's sexuality also includes gender — being male or female. As a person begins to grow in this society, he or she starts to behave in certain ways that the culture determines as appropriate for men or women, Some people limit what an individual can be or do on the basis of gender. Regardless of gender, all human beings experience a multitude of sexual attitudes, feelings, and capabilities; many aspects of our humanness are related to our sexuality, Students should be encouraged to discuss among themselves about relationships and the way relationships may affect sexual decisions people need to make. Activities are intended to help individuals think about their feelings regarding intimacy — what intimacy is and what it means to our relationships. As the teacher, address this issue within the context of a teenage relationship. This is often a very sensitive topic foradults to discuss with adolescents. Most adults feel teenagers are not mature enough to handle an intimate relationship. However, the high incidence of teenage pregnancies and of births to teens reflects the fact that many teens are sexually active and most do not postpone sexual intercourse until after marriage.DIFFICULTIES WITH LOVE RELATIONSHIPS. The person who has abused sexually has often had little experience in loving and being loved in a safe way. If the person who molested, is a family member, the victim can be emotionally confused, notknowing how to separate love and hate, anger and guilt. Because the sign of affection-- caresses, touches, intercourse—have been used to hurt or belittle or control them, loving contact now triggers memories that are unpleasant and painful. If and when the person does learn to love someone, he or she tends to be over-demanding, needing constant reassurance and attention. Such person is often inordinately jealous and possessive. DIFFICULTIES WITH SEXUAL BEHAVIOR. A disproportionate number of pregnant adolescents are victims of sexual abuse-as children or teens. Sexually abused girls, have leamed to be passive and accepting rather than risk offending the molester or cause disruption in the family. Experience has taught them that they have to “pay” for affection with sex. Sexually abused boys learn to equate sex with power and control. These effects of sex abuse may well be a leading factor contributing to a large number of adolescent pregnancies. SEXUAL ABUSE: SOME POINTS TO REMEMBER 1 Your body is your sacred domain, You have a right to decide how it will be touched and by whom. No one is ever free to force, pressure or tease you into having sexual contact of any kind. 2. Use common sense precautions to protect yourself from sexual abuse. Avoid dangerous situations. Do not walk alone at night. Q Don’t hitchhike or accept rides from strangers. Q Don’t stay in a room with someone you can’t trust, 3. Trust your own feelings. If someone's conduct or attitude seems suspicious, or if you are confused, afraid and uncomfortable. Seek advice or help from parents, friends, teachers or any trusted person. 4, Have a clear idea of the acceptable social values, Be assertive in saying no if you feel you are being pushed or pressured. —_—_——————S. 06 ———READING STD Chart sTD Cause or Organism Symptom Treatment/ Prevention AIDS Virus called HIV-I_- Fever combined with night sweating or - No medical cure shaking chills ~ Do not try to treat ~ Extreme fatigue yourself ~ Rapid loss of weight ~ Exclusive sexual - Diarrhea relationship (one ~ Swollen lymph glands in partner) the neck or underarm - Sexual abstinence ~ Examine sore or discoloration of penis/vagina discharge Gonorrhea Bacteria ~ A dripping discharge from penis ~ High dosage of ~ Slightly cloudy discharge or pus penicillin from the cervix - Exclusive sexual ~ Burning feeling when urinating relationship(one + Inflammation of the cervix and painful partner) infection in the pelvic area of the female - Sexual abstinence ~ Sore or discoloration of the penis/ vaginal discharge - Throat and anal irritation ~ Some cases are without symptoms Herpes II Herpes simplex - Burning sensation around genitals - No known cure; ~ Tiny blisters appear on the genital, pain reliever thighs, and buttocks ~ Discharge of pus/and blood by blisters - Flu-like symptoms ‘Syphilis ~ Rashes on hands and feet - High dosage of ~ Sores between toes, armpit, or mouth penicillin - Low fever ~ On severe cases, it causes: paralysis, brain damage, insanity, heart disease, skin diseases 129