Hols 1

Eveline Hols
Professor Holli Downs
Eng. 1003.04
November 24, y

Senses relations to writing

Words seem like magic to me: the way words turn into sentences and the way sentences
transform into an essay and then forms a clear picture. The way emotions, ideas, knowledge,
thoughts, and senses can live on paper eternally is remarkable. Astonished by the way words,
ideas, and sentences stay on paper, I have always been fascinated in writing, but my writing is
strongly influenced by moving to United States.
I was born in Norkping, Sweden on 25 June 1997. I started kindergarten at the age of six
with a strong eager to learn. When I started writing, I admired the way sentences could be written
on paper and that the words I had written simply doesn't vanish. In first grade, my teacher said
that we would learn cursive. I was excited immediately; I couldnt wait until the day I could
write like my sister. I spent a lot of time practicing cursive to master the skill. When I finally did,
my attitude began to change significantly. I remember these thoughts in my head: I know how
to write, why should I continue to write, and, I know how to add, so why should I continue to
add? My interest in learning overall decreased significantly over a period of two years,
including learning to write. School killed my desire to write and learn. I stopped writing on my
own time. I didnt understand why I had to be in school anymore. My goal in life was to live and
play.
At the age of nine, my dad received a job offer in Venezuela and United States. My
family and I had a family vote whether we wanted to stay, move to Venezuela, or move to United

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States. I have always been a huge fan of change; therefore, I have strong urges to explore other
regions of the world. I voted yes and my world quickly changed along with my relationship with
writing. Without knowing any English, I was forced to attend regular classes. I remember that on
the first day, I watched my classmates mouths moving, but I couldnt understand a word of what
they said. The only language we could all understand during the first few weeks was body
language and tone. The relationship between emotions and tone is the same in every language, I
realized. Even if you dont speak the language, your senses will tell you what kind of mood that
person is in. The first six weeks were the worst weeks of my life. Since Europe has another
system of grades, I skipped a grade, which got me extremely far behind. I made a lot of mistakes
during that time including telling my teacher I wanted to kiss her. I forgot how to say, Can I
please go to the bathroom, and so I tried translating from Swedish to English. A lot of words in
Swedish are similar to those in English, its just pronounced differently: kiss means pee in
Swedish. I figured out the differences between the languages and realized that its more different
than I thought. Since I was extremely behind, I struggled with the concepts of grammar
differences such as its and its, their and there, and other grammatically similar words that was
covered before I came to America.
When I came to United States, I was exempt from most activities. Everything was
concentrated on speaking and writing in English. While my classmates were practicing grammar
and studying other concepts, I was behind, learning the language. I learned how to do the basics,
however, I never learned what I needed the most. My teachers never covered the material again;
therefore, I figured everything that my classmates learned was insignificant.
After I learned all of the vocabulary words I was required to have to write, I fell in love
with the idea of writing. In my free time, I write in my journal, write poems, write in my book

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Type to enter text

that I just started writing, and writing lyrics to the songs I have written. Assignments that I have
gotten that requires me to write on a certain topic or written in a specific way can be very
difficult for me. It takes me a long time to figure out how to structure out my paper, get my
thoughts together, and write about in a specific way. My brain sometimes thinks faster then I can
write, leading my ideas and thoughts to be all over the place.
Looking back, I believe that moving to America saved the little strength I had left to
learn. Distracted by a change of scenery, I realized the purpose and the outcome of learning, and
I was back to being eager to learn. With all of my ambition, I know that I will become a great
writer. I just need to put a little bit more of effort and learn from my mistakes; then I will
succeed. Writing is a huge part of my life, I enjoy writing, I enjoy different ways of writing, and I
am strongly committed to get better in writing. Swedish is the language that is more meaningful
to me and will be more attached to my emotions; however, English is more meaningful in writing
terms, since I only have a second grade education in Swedish. With all these words in English
that I have obtained, it amazes me how words can make a clear picture, and how writings can
stay even when the writer is gone.

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Method #1

I read my essay out loud to two different people. Both of them said that they thought that
fascination I have with writing is the most outstanding in the essay.

Method #2
Outline
-Writing Impact
-Interest in writing
- Moving to USA
-Learning impact
-Outcome
-Conclusion

Hols 5
Revision is very significant to an essay, especially when you realize the mistakes you
have made.Its very easy to make a simple typo, thinking too hard and getting ideas spread out
and unfocused throughout the essay. Its only when you go back to the writing that you realize
that you can make the writing better.
When I received this assignment, my thoughts were this is an assignment from the
beginning of the year, why are we revising now? It was only until I looked back at the essay
that I realized that I could change the essay to make it a lot better. My grammar was incorrect
and some ideas were repeated throughout the paper. When I revised the essay, I changed these
issues.
In the past, I have revised only grammatically incorrect sentences or words, but I have
never considered changing my ideas, titles, and any other necessary changes. For this essay, I
had to write about my experience with writing. My purpose of writing for the assignment was to
write about moving to united states and how the move affected me. However, my fascination in
writing is significantly involved and is repetitively discussed in the essay which is the subject of
the essay. I revised grammatically incorrect words and sentences and I also changed the title,
and some ideas throughout the paper, and I have added more details to the story.