StudentA

Prof.Nazario
INGL3103101
31August2015
EuphoricMelancholy
Happiness;themostambiguousyetmostabundantideaahumanbeingtriesto
understandandacquirethroughouthisorherentirelife.Whenwethinkofthefeelingofjoy,we
imagineaserene,perfect,andheavenlypanoramawhereangelsandfairiesflytogethertowardsa
sunsetthatpromiseseternalicecreamandallinclusivevacationsbythebeach.Sadly,weve
beenwatchingthewrongmovieallthistime.I,StudentA,amveryproudtosaythatIamhappy,
thatIhavecriedmyselftosleepmillionsoftimes,butstillampainfullygayandwouldrepeat
thislifeeternally.Joyisadependentfeelingthatnotonlynurturesitselfwithotherfeelingsand
obstacles,butalsorequiresgreatstrengthtobetoleratedandpreserved.We,asemotionally
primitivebeings,trytoapplyreasontoidioticthings,asishappiness.Happinesscannotbe
strippedtoinfinitesimalproperties;itcanonlybetreatedasawhole.Itisinterrelatedtoinfinite
obstacles,decisions,situationsandsettings.Thedualityoflifecanalsoaffectthisfeeling;we
havetheoneandonlydecisionofviewinghappinessasacurseorasablessing,asan
independentvariableoradependentvariable.Inevitably,whatreproducesandsustainsthe
mysteryofwhatwecallcontentmentisbalanceandconsciousness.Welcometothebipolaryet
uniquewritingofStudentA,whereabsoluterealitiesdonotexist,andconfusion,togetherwith
relativityandcontradiction,isinevitable.

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Pardonmedad,butImgay,andyes,manymenhavebrokenmyheart.Nottogeneralize
oranything,butmenhaveaverypeculiarabilitytomakeyoufeellikeaprinceonedaybutthe
next,throwyoudownthestairs,turnyourheartintoanextracreamysoupofbloodandpain,and
bestofall,makeyoufeellikeyouaretheoneguiltyfortheburritoofsadnessyouhavebecome.
Basically,imagineyourselfwalkingjoyfullydowntheyellowbrickroadtowardsyourbeautiful
castleinFranceandallofasuddencomesthisassholeanddivertsyourglossypathtoa
guacamolefestofpromiscuity,unfaithfulness,andlackofcommitmentinthehouseofHades.
Recentlymyunconscioushashadtheurgetodependonotherpeopletobehappy.Iveallowed
myguardtogodownplacesnotevenLuciferhasgone.Myheartisbasicallycoolingdownfrom
arecentcookoffwhereitbasicallybecamethatsoupImentionedearlier.Weallhavetheurgeto
love,tobeloved,andtofeelwantedanddesired.Loveandtheideaofhappinessblindsusand
sucksusintoaneternalblackholewhichrepeatsendlessly:sorry,noquieronadaserio,assoy
yo.Ohcomeon!Youvebeenflirtingwithmeforhowlongandnowyoudecidetotellmethis?
Bullshit!Idemandarefund!WhatannoysmethemostisturningontheTVandwatchingall
thoseperfectextravagantweddingswherelovelastsforeverandmenarebasicallyhypnotizedto
atleastseemliketheyfeelsomething.Sorrygirls,buttheyjustmarriedyoubecauseofyourbra
size.Asaneighteenyearoldcollegestudent,howthehellamIsupposedtofindhappinesswhen
allIhaveisanendlessnaughtylistofgayteenswhichallknoweachotherspenissizeandhave
allkissedoneanother?IwantaprincecharmingandIwantitnow!
Lastweekmybestfriendcalledmeandtoldmehercurrentrelationshipstatus:
fuckboys,fuckboyseverywhere.Weallgothroughthis,wegetourheartsbrokenandstop
feelingloveforalongperiodoftime;butultimately,welearnhowtolivewiththepainandfind

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anotherpersonwhichmakesushappyor,plottwist,moredepressedthanbefore.Thatsnotthe
importantpart,whatweneedtounderstandisthat,inevitably,weareexposedtoareally
extensiveanddiversegroupofpeoplethatsomehowrepresentourdecisionmakinghabitsand
ourabilitytofilteremotionsandideas.Humansconstantlylookforacceptancetheycannotfind
intheirhouseholdsorintheirgroupoffriends.Therefore,welookforthosequalitiesinalover
orpossiblepartner.Butasmanyhavepreached,weareblindedbyappearancesandforgetto
readbetweenthelinesandrecognizethatwhatseemedtobeBradPittwasreallyawaxfigure
emptyinside.ThatistheadviceIgavetomybestfriend,sheneededtoberationaland
understandthattherearedefinitelymorefishintheseaandultimatelythelawsofattractionwill
onedaydeliverasweetpieceofmancandytoherdoor.Shedoesnotneedamantodefineheror
heremotions;sheisandalwayswillbeanindependenthumanbeingwhocanonlybecontrolled
byherself.Happinessonlydependsonourthoughtsandmentalprocesses,notonstandardized
definitionsingeriatricliteratureandmoderncheesymovies.Wait;shouldntIbegivingthis
advicetomyself?
Thatsthepointofitall;weliveourwholelifeconcentratingmoreonothersproblems
thanactuallytryingtosolveourmostprematureadversities.Wefearoblivionbutmakestupid
decisionssuchasfallingfordouchebagswhodestroyus.Asateenager,Icanrelatetoallthose
heartbrokenstories,Ihavegiveneverythingforsomeone,toeventuallybethrowndownthe
stairsasecondlater.Whenwelookatourselvesinthemirror,wecannotdefineourselvesasAor
B,labelsaresimplydestinedtobeputoncans,notonourselves.Lifeissimplyaneverchanging
upheavalthatcannotbestandardizedtoonespersonalneedsandsituations.Eachofushasa
differentstory;ourhappinesscanbethedestructionofourneighbor.Absoluterealitiesdonot

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exist,nordoabsolutedefinitionsofhappiness.AsImentionedbefore,butnowtrulymeanand
understand,joyinevitablyisnourishedbysadness,thatthesimplefactthatwedonothave
gleefulnessinourlives,makesusmoreandmorepronetoacquireit.Itisnotuntilweloose
everythingthatweunderstandwhatlove,dependence,independence,andhappinesstrulyare.
Weneedtosuffer;weneedtofeelthatemptinessinourheartstoactuallydesiretruelegitimate
joy.HappinessisnotacastlefullofluxuriesinFrance,itisthebruisedhandswhichbroughtit
backupwhenthetimesofwarandgreatsorrowsdestroyedit.Undoubtedly,wehavetwo
choicesinourlives,eitherwedrownourselvesinoursorrowsorwelearnfromthemandbase
ourlivesnotonoursuccessesbutonourmistakes.Relativenessisbliss.Itissimplythebest
filterwecanuseineverydaysituations;nospectacles,noimpulsiveness,simplyabalanced
mindabletodestroybuttoalsobuild;agenerationfullofcontradictivewarriors,aselfsufficient
mindthatdoesnotdependonaprimitivemindtoacquirehappiness.Ultimately,weneedtobe
consciousofthedecisionsandactionswemake.Wecannotwasteawholelifeweepingonour
momsshoulder.Weneedtounderstandthatlifeisjustadoublestandardlabyrinththatisalways
outtogetus;thatagonydesirestobefelt.Evidently,ifyouletyourselfdependonsomeoneor
somethingitwilleventuallyconsumeyou.ThisiswhywhenpeopleaskmehowIseemyselfin
mynextlife;IferventlyexclaimthatIseemyselfashappy,owingtothefactthatpainis
inevitablethushappinessistoo.