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Writing 2 Feedback Matrix for WP1!

Table of Textual Features!
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Thesis

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Statement!

Did Not Meet Expectations!

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X!

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Analysis!

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X!

X!

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X/X$!

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Organization/Structure!

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X!

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Use of Course Readings!

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Exceeded!
Expectations!

Use of Textual Evidence from

Genres!

Met Expectations!

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Attention to Genre/Conventions and

Rhetorical Factors!
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X!
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Other

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Comments!
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Enfield,!

Please!check!out!my!comments.!!My!biggest!piece!of!advice!is:!give!me!specific!textual!
evidence!from!your!sources.!!Direct!evidence/data!is!the!best!way!to!win!your!readers!
over.!

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X!

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Your!thoughts!were!so!clear!and!eloquent,!but!I!needed!you!to!bring!this!back!to!some!kind!
of!argument/point!about!genre.!!I!read!a!lot!of!description!about!Twitter,!IG,!and!FB,!but!I!
wanted!to!know!more!of!a!so!what?!!How!does!analyzing!the!conventions!of!each!of!
these!sources!help!us!understand!the!role!that!social!media!*posts*!plays!in!this!topic?!!!

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Sentence-level
Clarity,
Mechanics, Flow!

Z!
7/10!

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Alexandrea Enfield!
Zack De Piero!
Writing 2!
October 14, 2015!
Northern Arizona University Shooting: a Politicians Dream!

Comment [1]: Wooo.!!Wow,!what!a!risque!title.!

Although it may not always be acknowledged, there are conventions that surround different
genres. Conventions do not necessarily apply to every piece of writing within a genre though. It is still
important to study these various conventions in order to improve upon ones own writing skills (Enfield,
Big Bloggin Al). When looking at a specific genre, such as social media, it is easy to overlook the
conventions that surround it, but with careful observations and analysis, it becomes evident that these
conventions do indeed exist. The!tragic!shooting!at!Northern!Arizona!University!has!grasped!the!
attention!of!many!Americans!on!the!social!media!sites!Twitter,!Instagram,!and!Facebook,!all!to!
the!advantage!of!politicians!in!support!of!gun!control.!!
When looking specifically at Twitter, one specific convention that separates this social media site
from others, is the fact that only 140 characters are allowed. With this limitation in place, you have to get
straight to what you want to say. You can add your current location, a photo, or short video clip to your
tweets. Posts can include words and or emojis. When you go on your Twitter account, you can go to your
home section which will include the posts of the people that you follow as well as your own tweets which
can be seen by your followers. Another section includes notifications, where you can see who favorites or
retweets your tweets, as well as when people want to follow you. You are also able to send direct
messages to people so you and that person can communicate in private. You are able to make your
account private, so only your followers can see your posts, or you can make it public so anyone can see

Comment [2]: This!is!a!unique!situation!here!$$!I!

haven't!read!this!opening!(a!student!quoting!themself)!
before.!Very!exciting.!
!
So!I!like!that!you!know!you!need!to!actually!quote/cite!
yourself!(that!way,!you!"cover!your!ass"!in!case!a!
professor!thinks!you're!double$dipping!$$!ie,!using!the!
same!paper/writing!for!two!assignments).!!And!you!
*can*!do!this,!although!I!don't!think!it's!the!most!
interesting!opener!in!the!world!(no!offense).!!However,!
in!the!future,!be!careful!to!NOT!use!"free$floating"!
quotes!$$!cited!info!that!starts!and!ends!with!the!quotes.!!
It!*can*!look!a!little!lazy!and!decontextualized,!leaving!
the!reader!to!wonder:!where!is!this!coming!from,!and!
how!does!this!fit!in?!
Comment [3]: I!don't!think!you!can!say!that!social!
media!is!a!genre!$$!social!media!POSTS,!sure...!
Comment [4]: Some!thoughts:!
!
$This!sentence!and!the!super$heavy!topic!of!
shootings/gun!control!is!coming!up!out!of!nowhere.!!I!
think!you!need!to!find!a!way!to!transition!into!this.!
!
$This!thesis!statement!isn't!arguing!anything!about!
genres/conventions.!!What!are!you!going!to!be!
"plucking!out"!from!these!pieces!and!analyzing?!!
Thesis!statements!need!to!be!crystal$clear!and!let!the!
reader!know:!OK,!I'm!going!to!be!reading!about!*this*,!
so!I'll!be!prepared!when!it!comes!up!!
Comment [5]: Who!is!you!here?!!Me?!!Using!
pronouns!can!be!tricky,!and!you!might!want!to!steer!
clear!of!using!too!many!yous/wes.!

your tweets. On your own profile you can upload a profile picture, a biography of up to 140 characters
about yourself, and you can also view everything that you have tweeted and favorited. When I searched
Twitter for Northern Arizona University shooting, a lot of news accounts had reports about the tragedy as
well as links that directed me to the news channels websites. There were many pictures of the victims,
the criminal, and of the students grieving the death and injuries of their fellow classmates. A majority of
the tweets included people from all over giving their thoughts and prayers to the victims and the victims
friends and families. Hashtags is another common feature of Twitter, and the most popular hashtags
included #NAUstrong and #NAUshooting. Some celebrities and political figures also tweeted their

Comment [6]: OK,!I!like!how!you're!starting!to!use!

descriptive!evidence,!but!I'd!like!you!to!incorporate!
direct!textual!evidence/support.!!!
!
What!sounds!more!effective:!analyzing!your!thoughts!
"about"!Twitter,!or!analyzing!specific!tweets?!
!
I!want!you!to!do!the!latter.!

support to the entire Northern Arizona community. Many of the tweets from political figures used the
incident to support why we need to put bans and restrictions on guns.!
The conventions that surround Instagram are similar, yet still vary from those of Twitter. On

Comment [7]: Didn't!some!political!figures!also!use!the!

incident!to!oppose!gun!control?!!I!think!you!might!want!
to!parse!out!the!role!of!audience!here!a!bit!more.!

Instagram you have to post a picture and a caption is not necessary, yet most people do write one. The
captions do not have a limit on the amount of words you can use, so it is a great social media site if one
wants to vent. Your captions can also include emojis. For the pictures, you can add filters, tag people, or
add a location. You can post a video of up to fifteen seconds on Instagram. Your personal profile
biography can be up to 150 characters. On your profile, you can also look at your posts, biography, profile
picture, and the pictures that your followers have tagged you in. Your followers can like or comment on

Comment [8]: This!is!important!information,!for!sure,!

but!I!feel!like!it!could!be!used!even!more!effectively!if!
you!brought!it!back!to!a!compare/contrast!with!
Twittter's!affordances!and!limitations/constraints.!

your pictures or videos and you can make your account private, so only your followers can see your
profile, or public so anyone can see your pictures. Instagram also includes the week in review, which
includes what the majority of people have searched and liked. On the home category, you can see what

Comment [9]: OK,!I'm!wondering:!so!what?!!What!

does!this!have!to!do!with!your!argument?!

your followers have liked and posted. Hashtags are also used on Instagram. When I searched Northern
Arizona University shooting, there were 106 posts about this topic. The pictures under this category
included news accounts with pictures of students mourning the tragedy, pictures of the victims, and
pictures of the criminal. Other posts included people posting pictures of their friends or family members
who attend the university and they were saying how grateful they are that they are safe. The most
common hashtags for this social media site was #NAUshooting, #Flagstaff, and #NAUstrong. The
remaining posts were of people sending their prayers and support to the community.!
The conventions surrounding Facebook differ the greatest from Instagram and Twitter. For
example, posts are much longer, because the limit is at 60,000 characters. You can also post pictures or
videos if you so desire. You can tag people, add a current location, add a link to others websites, and you
can even include emojis in your posts. Facebook even has a newer feature where they have premade
posts where you can include what you are doing. For example, you can click on traveling to blank, or
making memories with blank. Your news feed includes your friends statuses, as well as your own posts,
which can be seen by the public or private depending on your preference. Your notifications will show

Comment [10]: Enfield,!Im!wondering!if!your!paper!

would!benefit!from!re$structuring!the!organization.!!
Instead!of!!
!
$Source!#1!
$Source!#2!
$Source!#3!
!
Could!your!paper/argument!unfold!a!more!
integrated/interwoven!way!if!you!did!something!like:!
!
$Idea!#1!(and!then!incorporate!sources!1,!2,!3)!
$Idea!#2!(and!then!incorporate!sources!1,!2,!3)!
$Idea!#3!(and!then!incorporate!sources!1,!2,!3)?!

you any friend requests and who favorites your statuses. Although your biography can only be up to 101
characters, there is a special feature where you can add the schools that you have attended, your interests,
hobbies, favorite books and movies, and more. You can message people in private as well on Facebook.
You can like or share posts on Facebook, and you are able to keep track of your friends, private groups,
pictures tagged in, and events in your settings. Facebook also gives you suggestions of friends to add
based on who are currently friends with. When I searched Northern Arizona University on Facebook, the

Comment [11]: This!is!beautifully!written,!Enfield!$$!it's!

so!clear,!I!feel!like!I'm!looking!at!some!majestic!lake!in!
the!European!mountains!somewhere.!!(Seriously.)!
However,!it's!not!enough!to!simply!describe!what!each!
of!these!sources!does!$$!you!need!to!bring!it!back!to!an!
argument!about!the!importance/value!of!studying!genre!
*through!your!analysis!of!one!specific!genre/topic.*!
!
I'd!like!you!to!connect!the!dots!more,!explain!the!"so!
what?'",!and!how!this!topic!differs!specifically!across!
these!different!sources!of!the!same!genre.!

top of the page had an overview of the tragedy that reported how one student was killed and three other
students were injured on October 9,2015. It also reported that as of October 12,2015 at 11 PM, 440
thousand people have posted a status talking about the tragedy on Facebook. Mostly news accounts were
posting about the tragedy. Pictures of the criminal, victims, and the community at a candle light ceremony
were also posted throughout Facebook. Many of the posts addressed gun control in America and how we
need to have laws that will make it harder for people to own guns, especially college students. Most of the
posts included prayers and supports for the community. There were also political figures and celebrities
who sent their support to the victims. Also, a substantial of the statuses had links to donate to the victims
of the Northern Arizona University, which was only presented on this particular social media site. In
addition, there were posts with links to the releases of the 911 calls, and updates to the trial that can be
tracked.!
Overall, all of the posts that I came across on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter were very
supportive of the victims of the tragedy. Although these social media sites are known for having funny
and sometimes inappropriate material, all of the posts in regards to the shooting were serious and
sympathetic. It proves how a group of people are able to come together during devastating tragedies and
rise above them. The audience of these posts were mostly adults, and of course the community of
Northern Arizona University. Most of the posts are directed towards people who are eligible to vote,
because this tragedy in particular is part of a deeper rooted problem in America, which is gun control.
Although each site has various conventions, when you compare them to one another they begin to

Comment [12]: What!were!the!posts?!!Where's!your!

textual!evidence/support?!

resemble each other quite closely. Even though some of their features vary, it is evident how they all fall
under the same genre.!
According to Laura Carroll, rhetoricthe way we use language and images to persuadeis
what makes media work (Carroll, Page 46). For this topic specifically, the rhetoric within the posts
created an atmosphere of general support and empathy from people all throughout America and even

Comment [13]: I!like!how!you're!using!course!readings!

hereg!you!might!wanna!consider!using!them!more!
earlier!on!as!well.!

from other parts of the world. Referring back to Laura Carroll, a Facebook group asks you to support
health care reform. The rhetoric in this group uses peoples stories of their struggles to obtain affordable
health care (Carroll, Page 47). This example is relatable to the Northern Arizona University shooting
posts seen throughout social media sites. In particular, many celebrities, political figures, and activists
used this tragedy as a way to bring up conversations and support from the public for heavier restrictions
on gun laws throughout America. Genres are important when it comes down to what you are trying to
accomplish in your writing. It allows the readers to have a better understanding of the authors purpose of
the writing and what he wants the readers to gain from his work. Observing the conventions that surround
various genres makes you think about what you like versus what you do not like when it comes to your
own writing. You learn too that conventions can be broken, that in a sense it is even encouraged to break
some of them. Studying different conventions can help you to get started on your writing, but it does not
and should not have to dictate what your writing should look like (Enfield, Big Bloggin Al).!
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Comment [14]: Enfield,!these!are!very!observant!and!

insightful!thoughts,!but!it's!not!appropriate!to!take!huge!
chunks!from!your!thlog/blog!and!use!them!for!this!
paperg!they're!two!separate!things.!!!
!
I!should've!mentioned!this,!so!it's!my!"fault"!(it!wouldn't!
be!a!"your!fault"!thing!anyways...).!!In!the!future,!I!want!
your!papers!to!be!97%!original!insights/observations!
coming!from!you.!!(You!could!use!a!sentence!or!two.!!
More!than!that,!though,!is!stretching!it,!I!think.)!

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Works Cited Page!
1. Carroll, Laura Bolin. Writing spaces: readings on writing. Volume 1. Backpacks vs. Briefcases:
Steps toward Rhetorical Analysis. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data,2010.
Parlorpress.Web. 12 Oct. 2015.!
2. Enfield, Alexandrea Jade. Inspecting Genre Generators. Standard blog.
w2alexenfield.blogspot.com/Big Bloggin Al. 7 October 2015.Web. 12 October 2015.!
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