Revision

The introduction has an

engaging hook.
Is it grabby?
If it isnt how can you make it attention grabbing?

The introduction has a

transition sentence.
Does the writer reach out to connect to the reader?
If not, how do you suggest the writer does this?

The introduction has a

strong thesis statement.
ex. My dad is my hero because he is strong, kind,
and respectful.
Make sure none of the character traits are on the
swear list!

Each of the three

paragraphs focuses of the
character traits stated in the
thesis
1 body paragraph for each trait

The examples in each

paragraph focus on the trait
in the topic sentence
ex. If my topic sentence focuses on the trait kind,
do all my examples in the paragraph show kind?

There are at least 5

examples of showing and
not telling.
Did the writer highlight the 5 examples of showing?

The thesis statement is

stated in the conclusion in a
different way
Does the person talk about the 3 traits that make
their hero has in a different way in the conclusion?

The conclusion wraps up

the essay
The conclusion lets the reader know that it is the end
and does not leave the reader hanging