Nayoung Hyun

Professor M. McCampbell
ENGL101
November 18, 2015
Great job! Check my margin comments that show you what, exactly, you did so well!
Essay 3

132/135

Copyright 2015, SocialAdr

According to the New York City-based media-research company Nielsen, almost one
hundred sixty-four million Americans were using social media as of July 2011, and the number
had been increased by five percent to approximately one hundred seventy-two million by July

2012 (Clemmitt). As of 2015, the number of active users of social media is over 2.206 billion
(Regan). Social media has been growing very fast, and most people use it constantly every day.
In the image, people are standing in a small gray circle and are looking in the same direction. As
illustrated some people are thinking, some people are chatting, and some people are responding.
Using social media influences people negatively, and this picture illustrates the growing
problems with social media. It can take away people's privacy, be the trigger of communication
problems, make people feel depressed, and cause social media addiction.
In the image, the gray lines shows people's connections. By following the lines, they can
find a lot of people who are not directly connected, and get information about them even though
they have never seen them. For this reason, social media, such as Facebook and Twitter,
endangers peoples privacy. Randi Zuckerberg, who is Facebook's former marketing director and
Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg's sister, posted her picture on her Facebook page for her friends
to see it (Clemmitt). However, someone who was not in her friend list posted her photo in Twitter
without permission from her. In another case, Senior Kyle Kelesoma said she can know too
many details about her classmates and perceive how they are different between in their life and
in social media life ("Social Media: Does it really Help Connect People?"). As reported by
Clemmitt, who is a reporter about social-policy after doing an editor in chief of Medicine and
Health, "It's a typical confusion of the social media era, when mushrooming numbers of photos
and other personal information are being placed online with no consensus about whether any of
it should remain private or viewable by only a few, and, if so, how to accomplish that." It
explains the problems, which continue to happen even now in social media, like Randi
Zuckerbergs and Kyle Kelesomas cases.

The people in the picture, who are looking in one direction and not at each other, might
signify that they do not prefer face-to-face conversation. In fact, some analysts consider that
social media is becoming a main conversation more than face-to-face conversation (Clemmitt).
The social media problem is a limited conversation. They only can see written messages from
people. Miscommunication comes from the written messages because people can misinterpret
the writers message. However, face-to-face conversation is better than social media as they can
see people's reactions like gestures, facial expressions, and tone of voice. Larry Rosen, who is a
professor of psychology at California State University, said "Many kids say they prefer not to
talk face to face." When kids communicate with adults, they tend to answer via text or social
media. Consequently, young people have hard time for communication with people because they
will not be able to understand nonverbal signs, such as tone of voice and gestures, during the
conversation (Clemmitt).
The images people are reacting variously like thinking and talking with people
through the different shapes of bubbles above their head. The thinking bubble people usually
"surf" social media sites more than post pictures on social media, and the talking bubble people
are active users, who post a lot of photos. The thinking bubble peoples problem is that they
compare their actual life with the talking bubble peoples lives. Looking at social media posts
makes people believe their lives are boring, and this belief can lead to depression. Margaret
Duffy, a professor and strategic communications chair at the Missouri School of Journalism,
said we found that if Facebook users experience envy of the activities and lifestyles of their
friends on Facebook, they are much more likely to report feelings of depression(Hurst). Like
Duffy mentioned, the social media is apt to show how their friends or their acquaintance are
living, such as great experiences on vacation, various and deep relationship, and expensive

lifestyles. When the thinking bubble people see positive and wonderful pictures, they evaluate
their real lives are monotonous and harsh. On the other hand, their friends lives seem cheerful
after seeing the photos of their one aspect of life via the social media.
The people on the picture symbolize the people addicted to social media. They suffer
from an obsession because they have to check their social media all the time. They desire to
know how many people Like on their pictures and comments, or how many people follow
them. The number of followings, Likes, and comments they think measure their popularity. This
is not a problem only in the United States. For instance, Thailands Department of Mental Health
pointed out young-adults Likes addictions. It said people can have low self-confidence and
negative feelings about themselves because they do not get as many Likes from people for their
photos as they expected. As a result, this problem can lead to poor leadership (OConnor). O'
Connor's article describes a man, who is self-centered and joined Instagram, said We are so
driven by this drug, getting just one hit elicits truly peculiar reactions (OConnor). This
description illustrates how the addiction of Likes effects a person.
Social media has a powerful influence on peoples lives; this influence is growing more
powerful every day. Peoples privacy can be at risk, it can make people avoid face-to-face
conversation, people can feel despondent, and they can become addicted to social media. Social
media has played a significant part of peoples lives over last few years. There are disadvantages
to people who are swayed by social media. People have to be aware of the influence of social
media and control it for good life and good mental health. Wow! I am so pleased with your
writing!

Work Cited
Clemmitt, Marcia. "Social Media Explosion." CQ Researcher 25 Jan. 2013: 81-104. Web. 30 Oct.
2015.
Hurst, Nathan. "News Bureau." MU News Bureau Atom. The MU News Bureau, 3 Feb. 2015.Web.
11 Nov. 2015.
O'Connor, Maureen. "Addicted to Likes: How Social Media Feeds Our Neediness." The Cut. 20
Feb. 2014. Web. 12 Nov. 2015.
Regan, Kadie. "10 Amazing Social Media Growth Stats From 2015." Social Media Today. Social
Media Today, 10 Aug. 2015. Web. 18 Nov. 2015.
SocialAdr. Over 73,000 members and growing. SocialAdr 2015.Web. 13 Nov. 2015.
"Social Media: Does it really Help Connect People?" University Wire 15 Oct 2014. ProQuest. Web.
6 Nov. 2015.
General Education Rubric: English 101/102: College Composition I/II
General

Related

4
Exemplary

3
Accomplished

2
Developing

Education
Competency

Written and
Oral
Communication
>68

Assignment
Requirement
5 points
10 points
Introduction 5
points -5
Thesis 10
points -10
Conclusion 5
points -4
Structure
(including TS)
10 points -10
Coherence 10
points -10

Errors 1 point
per error
-2/2=1=19

Diction/clarity
10 points -10

Image
description and
analysis
>10

Critical

10 points

Describe
features of the
image and
analyze their
significance to
the social or
cultural impact
which leads to
your research
into a broader
topic.
NOTE: this
description and
analysis sets the
stage for your
informed opinion
(thesis) which is
supported by
thoughtful
research and
reasoning.
20 points
Argue for your

Exceeds
Expectations
5 points
9 - 10
Presents a unified
central idea that is
supported by
exceptional
evidence and
displays unusual
insight.

3 4 points
6 - 8 points
Presents a unified central
idea that is supported by
relevant evidence.

Approaches
Expectations
2 points
3 5 points
Presents a unified central
idea that is supported by
adequate evidence.

Uses a logical order for

paragraphs.

Uses a logical order for

paragraphs.

Free of errors in
usage/mechanics, but for
minor errors which do not
impede meaning.

Contains some major

grammatical or usage
errors or many minor
errors.

Style reflects appropriate

vocabulary and varied
sentence patterns.

Style may include

imprecise diction,
ineffective transitions,
and unvaried sentence
patterns.

68

35

Identifies more
than three
features of the
image, describes
them in the
context of the
broader
researched topic
and shows a
thoughtful
connection
between the
images features
and how they
reflect the specific
issues related to
your thesis and
subsequent
research.

Identifies three features

of image and describes
them in detail. The
description leads to
interpretation of their
significance to a broader
social or cultural issue
which you will present a
well-developed thesis,
supported by expert
evidence and insightful
reasoning.

Identifies one or two

features and describes
them. There may be
some interpretation
which will lead to
identifying a broader
social or cultural issue,
but the connection is not
made explicit. There
may be a general
reference to a thesis
which will be supported
with researched
evidence.

Ge
wh
wh
Th
m
m
lar
iss
int
fea
m

17 20 points
Ideas are

13 16 points
Ideas are developed and

8 12 points
Ideas are mostly

0
Ide

Uses a logical
order for
paragraphs and
presents them in
an interesting or
original manner.

Meets Expectations

Free of errors in
usage/mechanics,
but for minor
errors which do
not impede
meaning.
Style reflects
precise and vivid
vocabulary and
varied sentence
patterns.
9 10

Do
un
do
ad

Ha
or

Co
gr
er
er

St
im
ine
an
pa

Analysis and
Reasoning >20

position by
generating
reasons and
providing
evidence for
your views.
Details/RENNS;
at least three
are cited
20 points

Information
Literacy>20

5 points
Use a minimum
of three
academically
appropriate
secondary
sources in
addition to any
assigned
primary
source/s. 5
points -5

Demonstrate
academic
integrity through
source
integration and
documentation.
5 points-5

5 points-5

5 points -5

Technological
Competence>1
0

The inserted
object should be
relevant to the
content of the
essay and
should be placed
thoughtfully
within the

thoroughly
developed and
presented in a
logical manner
that is easy to
follow with clear
reasoning.
Displays insightful,
in-depth reasoning
and depth of
thought.
5 points
Exceeds the
number of
required sources;
sources meet the
highest standards
for credibility and
relevance.

Source information
is introduced with
appropriate
qualifiers and
accompanied by
comments
clarifying its
relevance to thesis
support.
Source information
is smoothly and
effectively
paraphrased,
summarized, or
quoted.
Sources are
correctly
documented in
parenthetical
citation and on a
Works Cited page
or Bibliography as
appropriate to the
style format in
use.
The inserted
object is especially
suited/ related to
the essay thesis or
other content, and
the object
placement is
smoothly

presented in a logical
manner that is easy to
follow with clear
reasoning.

developed and presented

in a mostly logical
manner that is easy to
follow.

Displays moderate depth

in reasoning and thought.

Displays an attempt at
depth in thought.

3 4 points
Incorporates the required
number of sources;
sources meet minimum
standards for credibility
and relevance.

2 points
Incorporates the required
number of sources; some
sources do not meet
minimum standards for
credibility and/or
relevance.

Inc
th
so
so
sta
an

Source information is
introduced with qualifiers
and sometimes
accompanied by
comments clarifying its
relevance to thesis
development.

Source information is
simply inserted with
qualifiers or other
attempts at source
integration; source
relevance to thesis
development is
sometimes unclear.

So
sim
qu
at
int
so
th
un

Attempts are made, but

sources are not correctly
documented in
parenthetical citation and
on a Works Cited page or
Bibliography as
appropriate to the style
format in use.

So
un
pa
Wo
cit

The inserted object has

marginal connection to
the essay thesis or other
content, or the object
placement lacks smooth
integration in the essay.

Th
litt
th
co
ha
th
no
th

Source information is
sometimes paraphrased
or summarized, not
exclusively quoted.
Sources are correctly
documented in
parenthetical citation and
on a Works Cited page or
Bibliography as
appropriate to the style
format in use.

The inserted object

clearly relates to the
essay thesis or other
content, and the object
placement is smoothly
integrated without any
visual awkwardness.

an
or
fol

Di
illo

essay. 5 points
-5

Local and
Global
Diversity>4

Use appropriate
style format for
essay, including
font and margin
size, as well as
header and page
number location.
5 points-5
In analyzing the
issue, consider
the social,
historical, and/or
political factors
at play.
5 points

integrated without
any visual
awkwardness.

Document format follows

style guidelines with only
one minor alteration.

Document format follows

style guidelines with only
minor departures.

Do
sty
so

Includes references to
social/historical/political
factors and shows
moderate/acceptable
depth or development in
analyzing those factors.

Includes reference(s) to
social/historical/political
factors but shows little
depth or development in
analyzing those factors.

Inc
so
fac
lac
re

Document format
follows style
guidelines
perfectly.

Includes
thoughtful and
insightful analysis
that demonstrates
an aware-ness of
social/historical/
political factors.