The author of this essay is _____Erica Cline_______________________.

Online Peer Review of Essay #1

Directions: First, read the paper silently to yourself once. Then, answer the questions below.
When answering the following questions, be thoughtful, clear, and helpful. Use complete sentences and
specific examples. On the writers document, turn on the Track Changes feature (ReviewTrack
Changes): In this way, the author can see what changes you think should be made. Feel free to make
comments directly on the writers draft (New CommentClickType your constructive feedback).

Organization and Introduction

1.

Organization
a. Is this draft organized in a standard pattern: an introduction, a body with supporting points
presented in a logical order, and a concluding section that summarizes and analyzes the
overall significance of the topic? Note on the paper where the organization seems to be
ineffective. Yes, Erica organizes her thoughts quite well.

2.

Introduction: The first paragraph(s) should prepare the reader for the topic presented in the paper.
a. Does the introduction begin broadly and narrow to the main idea of the essay? Yes, she
begins by expressing her love for English, then breaks down her experiences with each
area.
b.

c.
d.

Look specifically at the authors Thesis Statement:

1. Is the thesis towards the end of the introduction? Yes, I believe her thesis is the last
sentence of the first paragraph.
2. Is the thesis narrow and well-defined? Yes, she breaks it down in a simple, but
relatable experience.
3. Is the thesis explicit or implicit? If its explicit, is the thesis too direct? Explicit, but not
overly direct.
At any point in the essay, do you feel lost or confused? No
After reading the whole paper, explain whether you think the introduction effectively prepares
the reader for the discussion or not. Yes, I believe she makes her position very clear from
the beginning.

Body Paragraphs
1.

Do the body paragraphs support the thesis? Yes, each paragraph continually tells about the
evolution of her writing.

2.

Is there information that does not seem relevant to the stated thesis/purpose? No

3.

Does one point/section logically lead to the next point? Are transitions used effectively? Yes, she
keeps her experiences in a chronological order, and includes great transitions for the next
paragraph.

4.

Are there any paragraphs that should be either deleted or moved to another section of the paper? No,
they are all relevant to her story.

Conclusion
1.
2.

Does the concluding section sum upwithout being repetitivethe major points/conclusions of the
paper? Yes, I feel that during her conclusion, she was able to make the reader think of each
experience without being repetitive.
After reading the entire essay, are the following required elements included?
Clear thesis
Engaging Introduction
Does the conclusion refer to the introduction?

Use of Vivid Details and a Significant Point

1.

Are there any unnecessary explanations that would be better told through showing rather
than telling? No

2. What does the theme, lesson, or insight seem to be? Erica is telling us that with the right
teachers, anyone can excel in English.

3. Does the insight seem too obvious or too general? Some might find it obvious, but I think
that makes her story very relatable.

Style, Mechanics, and MLA Guidelines

1.

Are there any words that are clich, used too often, or meaningless? No

2.

Does the writer use the second person pronoun you? If so, circle it. I only found this error once.

3.

Does the author use phrases such as I think and/or I believe? If so, draw a line through the phrase
to determine if it is necessary. No

4.

MLA Guidelines
Heading
1 margins

Double-spaced throughout
Page numbers in upper righthand corner

5. How near to completion is this draft? With a few minor changes, I think this draft is near
completion.