PamelaSalinas

C&T820Module1
LanguageAutobiography
My earliest memory in the U.S. takes me to a one bedroom that my brothers, my
mom and I shared. Im standing on the foot of the bed, reciting the National Anthem of
Per. While I didnt know what those words meant, I knew they were connected to the
family, friends and my dad, whom were still there.
I learned Spanish at home. It was after all the only language I heard until the age
of three. My Spanish was advanced for a three year old, or so mom says. Mom gives
credit to dad because he enjoyed reading; he also enjoyed reading to me. I loved it when
he read fairy tales. Hed ask me questions during and after the read. He felt strongly
about literature and wanted to instill that in me.
When I arrived to the states, the family I had here only spoke to me in Spanish.
My maternal grandmother was working full-time, my teenage aunts were attending their
junior and senior year of high school, and mom was putting in her part by keeping a clean
home and cooking. The only time Id here English was when my aunts would speak to a
telemarketer over the phone, or through watching television. We had about ten channels
and out of those ten, only one was in Spanish and it aired mostly news. I was left with
the remaining nine English channels and Mr. Rogers Neighborhood happened to be on
one of them. Mr. Rogerss was my first unofficial English teacher. His soothing and
warm voice was inviting. The way hed describe what he was doing while doing, helped
my vocabulary grow. While I had no one to practice my English with, he helped me
survive my first few days at school in the playground where all the students gathered and
engaged in either conversation or play.
I dont remember learning to speak English but I do remember the same comment
on my report card stating Pamela is a very pleasant child. However, she is very
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C&T820Module1
LanguageAutobiography
talkative. Neither did my teacher or I realize that my time in the classroom was my only
chance to practice my English. My teenage brothers were struggling with adapting to a
new culture but in a different way than I was. They had to be more independent than I
was. Forming new friendships as a teenager is no easy task.
In the fifth grade, I joined the reading club. My teacher had recommended I join,
and it seemed like something fun to do, other than go home and do homework almost
immediately. This is probably the first time I felt insecure about my reading ability. I
dont recall the book we had to read but I do remember we were reading chapter books
and it had no pictures. I tried to focus more on the vocabulary used rather than
comprehension. If they asked me what I was reading, Id draw a blank. I also remember
the students reading silently and flipping pages while I was still on the page before
reading the same paragraph for the third time. I stopped going to the reading club. It
didnt make me feel good about myself.
While I grew to be a bilingual student, I expressed myself a lot better in Spanish.
My parents would purchase childrens books in Spanish, ask me to write letters to my
paternal grandparents in Per, and leave notes for me to read before going to school (my
parents would leave the house in the early morning while my brothers and I slept).
Spanish was my native tongue and I rarely went anywhere where it wasnt the first
language spoken. The city I lived in had a high Latino population where sadly, English
wasnt a necessity.
Out of the three of us (my siblings and I), I was the one who was better behaved
and accepted responsibility. This made it easy for my parents to create a wall between
school and home. While I felt happy about this disconnect, it affected me later on.
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PamelaSalinas
C&T820Module1
LanguageAutobiography
Because they never received a phone call from the school in regards to my behavior or
academic progress and the fact that many of my teachers spoke only English, my parents
never became involved with my schooling. They never attended a volleyball game, or
asked me about any events my school was having.
It wasnt until after I graduated high school, that I realized my English vocabulary
was poor for my age. I was a proud B student. During my freshman year of college, one
of my professors asked me to stay after having read a paper Id written. In the nicest way
possible, she said my paper wasnt the best she knew it could be. She asked me if I knew
what synonyms were. My face turned pale and I felt completely embarrassed. She
offered suggestions in red ink across my paper and with each word she circled or
underlined, I felt smaller. Why hadnt anyone told me sooner? Was it because they knew
I was an ELL student and thought it was common? I felt like someone had failed me
somewhere. Was it me? Had I failed myself?
I didnt want to have a similar conversation with other professors. I knew
something had to change in the way I expressed myself on paper. Id engage in
conversations with other students and found myself making notes of words theyd say so
that I could find their meaning later on. The thesaurus became my best friend. After
typing a paper, Id substitute simple words for ones that sounded smart.
I can recall trying to figure out the meaning of words through comparing them to
the closest Spanish word that sounded like it. To this very day, its something I continue
to struggle with, putting my words on paper. Its not my forte.
Back to the possible root of my continued struggles with writing, unless I was
using the same way of writing in both languages, it was difficult for me to apply rules of
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C&T820Module1
LanguageAutobiography
grammar. For example, Id capitalize days of the week and months of the year in
Spanish, use one question mark or exclamation point instead of two when writing in
Spanish, and never applied the usage of accent marks. As far as English, I never
understood digraphs. I just didnt understand why /f/ was sometimes written with the
letters p and h. But that skill came as something natural in Spanish (writing the letter c
with an /s/ sound). Thank goodness for cognates. Those definitely helped a lot. I was
the similarity between words in both languages and it somehow made me feel more
comfortable in learning both languages.
Although I feel more comfortable speaking Spanish, I enjoy reading in English a
lot more. I think that derives from my lack of English vocabulary throughout my
elementary, secondary, and college education. I wanted to know what the other students
knew, why was their vocabulary more advanced than mine? I realize now that maybe
many of them were exposed to more English like I was exposed to more Spanish.
My passion for bilingual education continues to grow. Perhaps its because I have
a strong connection towards it and I can always relate to a common struggles and
together find solutions. Being bilingual has affected my childhood, my schooling, and
my career. It had made me feel small, different, special, and proud.