t

Crombie Jardine
PUBLISHING LllVIITED
Office 2,
3 Edgar Buildings,
George Street,
Bath,
BAI 2FJ
www.crombiejardine.com

Originally published by Crombie Jardine Publishing Limited in

paperback in 2004, 1-905102-02-X
This edition published in 2007
ISBN 978-1-906051-07-5
Copyright 2004, Crombie Jardine Publishing Limited
All rights are reserved. No prut of this publication may be
reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any
form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying,
recording or othetwise, without the prior written pe1mission of the
publisher.
Original concept and compilation by Crombie Jrudine
Printed & bound in China

Proverb
a short sentence
based on long experience

CONTENTS
School Days
Chinese proverbs
Life
Professions
Work
Drink
Getting Old
Death
Wise Men
Fools
Bravery & Cowardice
It's All in the Mind
Tomorrow
Patience
Pessimism
Truth&Lies
Money
Happiness
Friends & Foes
Women
Men
Marriage
God & the Devil
P.C. Proverbs

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1
7
11
37
45
51
61
69
73
81
87
89
93
97
99
103
109
115
119
127
131
133
141
149

SCHOOL DAYS

A secondary school teacher made a list of

some well known proverbs and gave the class
the first half of the proverbs, so that they
could complete the sayings. Here's what they
came up with:

AS YOU Ma!Ge YOUJ\3 BeD so

SH9LL YOU ... Mess it UP.

Bettel\3 to Be sare tHaN ...

Hit a teacHel\3.

YOU CaN Leao a HOJ6Se

to watel\3 But ... HOW?

DON't Bite tHe HaND tHat ...

LOOIGS DiBtY.

A MiSS iS as GOOD as a ... MB.

OU CaN't teaCH aN
OLD DOG ... MatHS.

THe PeN iS MiGHtieB

tHaN tHe ... PiGS.

AN iDLe MiND iS ...

tHe Best wa to BeLax.

THeBe'S NO SMO!Ge
WitHOUt ... POLLUtiON.

A PeNN saveD ...

iS NOt MUCH.

TWO'S COMP8N. tHJoees ...

tHe MUSKietee1os.

L8UGH aND tHe WOJoLD L8UGHS WitH

OU. Clo 8ND ... OU MUSt BLOW
0Ulo OWN Nose.

CHiLDJoeN SHOULD Be seeN

aND NOt ... SM8CKieD Olo GJoOUNDeD.

WHeN tHe BLiND

LeaoetH tHe
BLiND ... Best Get
out Of' tHe WH.

NeveB UNDeBeStiMate tHe

POWeB Of ... teBMites.

NO News iS ...
iMPOSSiBLe.

Love aLL. tBUSt ... Me.

DON't PUt Off tiLL tOMOBBOW

WHat ... YOU Put ON to GO to BeD.

NONe aBe so BLiND as ...

Stevie WONDeB.

If at fiBSt YOU DON't succeeD ...

Get New BatteBies.

PeOPLe iN GLass
Houses SHOULDN't ...
JoUN aJoOUND NaKieD.

THeJoe's NO
FOOL LiKie ...
UNCLe JOHNNY.

CHINESE
PROVERBS

BaseBaLL WBONG:
M8N WitH fUUB B8LLS
C8NNOt W8LKi.

CBOWDeD eLevatoB SMeLL

DiffeBeNt to MiDGet.

M8N WHO faBt iN CHUBCH

Sit iN OWN pew.

M8N WHO BUN iN fBONt

Of caB Get tiBeD.

M8N WHO BUN BeHiND caB

Get exHausteo.
8

MaN WitH HaND iN POC!Get

feeL COCIGY aLL DaY.

MaN WHO waLIG tHBOUGH

aiBPOBt tUBNStYLe SiDeways
GOiNG to BaNGIGOIG.

MaN WHO fiGHt WitH Wife aLL DaY

Get NO Piece at NiGHt.

MaN WHO DBiVe Li!Ge HeLL

BOUND to Get tHeBe.

MaN WHO uve iN GLass House NeeD

to CHaNGe CLOtHeS iN BaseMeNt.

MaN WHO DBOP watCH iN tOiLet

BOUND to Have CBaPPY tiMe.
9

M8N WHO waNt PBettY

NUBSe MUSt Be PatieNt.

M8N WHO PUSH Pi8NO DOWN

MiNeSHaf't Get A f'Lat MiNeB.

PaSSiONate IGiSS Li!Ge SPiDeB'S weB:

SOON Leao to UNDOiNG Of' f'L.

ViBGiNitY Li!Ge BUBBLe:

ONe PBiCIG aLL GONe.

10

LIFE

II

42% of aLL statistics

a1oe MaDe uP.
(ANON)

ABiLitY iS WHat YOU aloe aBLe to DO.

MOtivatiON DeteBMiNes WHat
you Do. attituDe DeCiDes HOW
weLL YOU DO it.
(ANON)

THe aaseNt a1oe aLways WBONG.

(ENGLiSH)

ACt as if YOU CaNNOt faiL

(SOUtH Af~iCa)

12

ALL GOOD tHiNGS COMe to

WHOevel\3 Gets tHe16e Fil6St.
(ANON)

ALW8S J6eMeMBel6: 0U'J6e UNiQUe.

Just UIG'e evel60Ne eLse.
(ANON)

AN aNecoote iN tiMe
saves B016eDOM.
(ANON)

A 08 WitHOUt SUNSHiNe iS
Li!Ge ... NiGHt.
(ANON)

A CLeaN House iS tHe SiGN OF a

MiSSPeNt LiFe.
(ANON)

13

A CLeaB CONSCieNce iS USU8LL tHe

SiGN OF a Bao MeM016.
(ANON)

A MaN SUBBOUNDeD B PGMies

WiLL 8LW8S LOOIG BiG.
(ANON)

AMBitiON WitHOUt IGNOWLeDGe iS

Li!Ge a caNoe WitHOUt a P8DDLe.
(ANON)

AN aPPLe a 08 IGeeps tHe DOCtOB

away BeMeMBeB tHat tHe Next
tiMe OU caN't Get aN aPPOiNtMeNt.
(ANON)

ANtHiNG WOBtH talGiNG seBiOUSL

iS WOBtH POIGiNG FUN at.
(ANON)
14

AS LONG as 0UB MiStaiGes aBe New

ONeS OU caN aBGUe tHat OU aBe
MalGiNG PBOGBeSS.
(ANON)

BOBeDOM iS tHe PBiCe OU Pa fOB

staiNG out Of tBOUBLe.
(ANON)

CBaP OB Get Off tHe POt.

(AMe~iCaN)

DaNGeB aND DeLiGHt GBOW ON tHe

saMe staLIG.
(ENGLiSH)

DiSCiPLiNe iS MalGiNG tHe CHOiCe

BetweeN WHat OU waNt NOW aND
WHat OU waNt MOSt.
(ANON)
15

DO NOt fOLLOW tHe PatH;

GO WHe16e tHe16e iS NO PatH
aND BeGiN tHe tBaiL ...
(SOUtH Af~iCa)

DO NOt iNSULt tHe MOtHeB

aLLiGatoB UNtiL afteB OU Have
CBOSSeD tHe BiVeB.
cHaitiaN)

DON't Bite tHe HaND tHat feeDS OU.

THat's MaSOCHiStiC.
(ANON)

DO NOt waLIG BeHiND SOMeONe fOB

tHe Ma NOt LeaD. DO NOt waLIG
aHeaD Of tHeM. fOB tHe Ma NOt
fOLLOW. DO NOt waLIG BeSiDe tHeM.
eitHeB. Just Leave tHeM aLoNe.
(ANON)
16


~
ooN't tatGe Life too
seTeiOUSLY;
it's NOt PeTeMaNeNt.
(ANON}

17

DON't WOBB; it ONL seeMS

pe1ove1oteD tHe fiBst tiMe.
(ANON)

ENSUBe DUB KiitCHeN iS KiePt

CLeaN - eat out.
(ANON)

EVeBONe Loves Justice iN tHe

8ff8iBS Of OtHeBS.
c1taliaN)

EXPeBieNce iS SOMetHiNG OU Get

Just afte1o OU NeeD it.
(ANON)

18

EX.Pe2ieNce iS a COMB
Natu2e Gives to MeN
WHeN uHeY a2e BaLD.
(EasteEN)

19

Ees t1oust tHeMseLves But ea1os

t1oust otHe1os.
(Ge:BMaN)

FOJotUNe iS BLiND BUt NOt iNViSiBLe.

(FBeNCH)

GeNiUS iS ONe PeJoCeNt iNSPiJoatiON.

NiNet-NiNe PeJoCeNt PeJoSPiJoatiON.
(THOMas EDiSON)

GOOD JUDGMeNt COMeS fJoOM B8D

ex:PeJoieNce. 8ND a LOt Of tHat
COMes DiJoeCtL fJoOM
B8D JUDGMeNt.
(ANON)

20

He WHO seBves two MasteBs Has

to ue to oNe.
('POBtUGUeSe)

He WHO LaUGHS Last HaSN't

Got aLL tHe facts.
(ANON)

He WHO see!GS tBOUBLe

NeveB Misses.
(ENGLiSH)

He WHO SMiLes iN a CBiSiS Has fOUND

SOMeONe to BLaMe.
(ANON)

I DON't IGNOW WHat aPatH iS

aND I DON't caBe!
(ANON)

21

If a MaN ooes His aest.

wHat eLse is tHeBe?
(GeNeBaL GeOBGe s. PattON)

If at fiBst Ou DON't succeeo.

CONSiDeB 0UBSeLf aveBaGe.
(ANON)

If at fiBst Ou DON't succeeo.

PaBaCHUtiNG iS NOt tHe
SPOBt fOB OU.
(ANON)

If we caNNOt Get WHat

we LiK'ie. Let us LiK'ie
wHat we Get.
(SPaNiSH)

22

If YOU aroe ON a BOaD

to NOWHeBe, fiND
aNOtHeB BOaD.
(50UuH AfBiCa)

23

If YOU BeaLLY waNt to DO

SOMetHiNG. YOU'LL fiND a W9Y; W YOU
DON't. YOU'LL fiND aN excuse.
(ANON)

If YOU waNt to Be HeaBD.

speaKi UP. If YOU waNt
to Be seeN. staND UP. If YOU
waNt to Be aPPBeciateD.
Just SHUt UP.
(ANON)

INStiNCt iS StBONGeB tHaN

UPBBiNGiNG.
(I Bi SH)

1t is NeveB a GOOD iDea to test tHe

wateB WitH BOtH feet.
(ANON)

24

JeaLOUS aND FeaB

Have BiG ees.
(SeBBiaN)

JOiN tHe ABM. Meet iNteBeStiNG

PeOPLe. IGiLL tHeM.
(ANON)

Just BeFoBe DaWN iS tHe DaBIGest

HOUB. so iF ouBe PLaNNiNG to
PiNCH 0UB NeiGHBOuBs MiLIG.
tHats tHe tiMe to oo it.
(ANON)

L8UGH aND tHe WHOLe WOBLD L8UGHS

WitH OU. CB aND OU CB aLONe.
1ts caLLeD FaiB-weatHeBeD.
(ANON)

25

Just; Because you'Be

PaBaNOiD DOeSN't; MeaN
t:iHeY aBeN't; af't:ieB YOU.
(ANON}

26

LiFe iS WHat H8PPNS WHeN YOU 816

M81GiNG OtHeB PL8NS.
(JOHN LeNNON)

usteN to YOUB CONSCieNce

- tHe iNNeB voice tHat teLLS YOU
SOMeONe MiGHt Be watCHiNG.
(ANON)

MDiOCBitY Has ceBtaiN

attBaCtiONS; it's MUCH Less
oeMaNDiNG tHaN success.
(ANON)

NeveB LeND YOUB caB to aNYONe to

WHOM YOU Have GiVeN BiBtH.
(EBMa BOMBeCIG)

27

NeveB BUB BaCIGSioes

WitH a POBCUPiNe.
(GHaNa)

PeBFect BeHaViOUB iS BOBN out OF

COMPLete iNDWFeBeNCe.
(OSCaB WiLDe)

Beauty iS MeBeLY a CBUtCH FOB

PeOPLe WHO caN't cope WitH DBUGS.
(ANON)

secuBitY iS aN iLLUSiON. LiFe iS

eitHeB a oaBiNG aoveNtuBe
OB it iS NOtHiNG at aLL.
(HeLeN KieLLeB)

28

sex is LitGe aiB:

it;'S NOti iMPOBtiaNti
UNLess YOU aBeN'ti
GetitiiNG aNY.
(ANON)

29

SOMetiMeS YOU aBe tHe iNSeCt;

SOMetiMeS YOU aBe tHe
WiNDSCBeeN.
(ANON)

StBateGY iS BetteB
tHaN StBeNGtH.
(NiGeBia)

StBetCH YOUB HaNDS as faB as

tHeY BeacH. aND GBaB aLL
YOU CaN GBaB.
(NiGeBia)

THe eyes aeueve wHat tHeY see;

tHe eaBS WHat PeOPLe teLL tHeM.
(GeBM.aN)

30

soMeuiMes tHe LiGHu

at uHe eNo

or tHe

uUNNeL 1oeaLL~ iS aN
ONCOMiNG uJoaiN.
(ANON)

31

SOMetiMeS YOU'Be
tHe PiGeON,
SOMetiMeS YOU'Be
tHe statue.
(ANON)

32

THe JOUBNe Of a tHOUSaND MiLes

staBtS WitH a BBOKieN faN BeLt.
(ANON)

THeBe's aN iNVeBse BeLatiONSHiP

BetweeN HOW GOOD SOMetHiNG iS
fOB DU. aND HOW MUCH fUN it iS.
(CaLViN aND HOBBS)

THeBe iS ONL ONe PBett CHiLD

iN tHe WOBLD. aND eveB
MOtHeB Has it.
(CHiNese)

THBee Ma KieeP a secBet if

two of tHeM aBe oeao.
(BNJaMiN FBaNIGLiN)

33

TOO MaN COOIGS SPOiL tHe BBOtH.

Let SOMeONe eLse PBePaBe DiNNeB.
(ANON)

TBUe POWeB COMes rBOM a MiX Or

CO-OPeBatiON aND SiLeNCe.
(SOUt:iH Af BiCa)

WHeN tHe DOOB iS CLOSeD. LeaBN to

SLiDe aCBOSS tHe CBaCIG Or tHe SiLL.
(NiGeBia)

WHeN tHe Mouse LaUGHS at tHe cat.

tHeBe iS a HOLe NeaBB.
(NiGeBia)

34

zZZ
ViBtue iS its OWN
BeWaBD. But it's aLSO
veBY BOBiNG.
(ANON)

35

waNt a tHiNG LONG eNOUGH

8ND OU DON't.
(CHiNese)

weLL DONe iS BetteB

tHaN weLL saiD.
(BNJaMiN FBaN~LiN)

OU caNNOt SHalGe H8NDS

WitH a CLeNCHeD fist.
(GaNDHi)

OU Have tHBee CHOiCes iN LiFe: Give

UP. Give iN. OB Give it DUB 8LL!
(ANON)

36

PROFESSIONS

37

A Bao COMPBOMiSe iS BetteB tHaN

a successfuL Law suit.
(SPaNiSH)

A LaWeB'S fee aND a PBOStitute's

waGes aBe Paio iN aovaNce.
(INDiaN)

A LaWeB'S OPiNiON iS WOBtH

NOtHiNG UNLess PaiD fOB.
(ENGLiSH)

A PeasaNt aetweeN two LaweBs

is Li!Ge a fiSH aetweeN two cats.
(ANON)

38

DiPLOM8C iS tHe a1ot Of S8iNG

"Nice DOGGie". WHiLSt LOOIGiNG
fOJo a BiGGeJo StiCIG.
(ANON)

DOCtOJoS CLeaN tHe BOD.

MiNiSteJos tHe CONSCieNce. 8ND
L8WeJos tHe PUJoSe.
(Ge~MaN)

He tHat Loves tHe L8W WiLL

Get HiS fiLL Of it.
(SCOttiSH)

39

A DiPLOMat iS SOMeONe WHO

caN teLL YOU to GO to
HeLL aND Have YOU
actuaLLY LOOKiiNG
Fo1owa1oo to tHe tJoiP.
(ANON)

40

It iS BetteJo to eNteJo tHe MOUtH Or

a tiGeJo tHaN a COUJot Or Law.
(CHiNese)

It iS BetteJo to exist UNKiNOWN to

tHe Law aND LaWeJos.
(I Bi SH)

LaWeJos aND PaiNteJos caN SOON

CHaNGe BLaCKi to WHite.
(DaNiSH)

LaWeJos aND SOLDieJos aloe tHe

oevn..:s PLaMates.
(G16MaN)

41

x
POLiuiCiaNS HBe LiJGe
DiaPe1os aND Neeo to
Be CHaNGeD fOJo
uHe saMe 1oeasoN.
(ANON)

42

New Laws aloe fOLLOWeD

BY New tBiCIGS.
(Ge:BMaN)

'ViBtue iS iN tHe MiDDLe:

saiD tHe DeViL. as He sat DOWN
aetweeN two LawYeBs.
(DaNiSH)

WHeN GOD waNteD to PUNiSH MaN He

iNVeNteD LaWYeBS.
(16USSiaN)

43

WORK

45

A oes!G WitHOUt PaPeBWOBIG iS a

SiGN OF ONe BOBN to DeLeGate.
(ANON)

A tiDY oes!G iS tHe SiGN OF a

DiStUBBeD MiND.
(ANON)

H8BD WOBIG NeveB HUBt aNYONe.

But tHeN WHY BiSIG it?
(ANON)

Ma!Ge SU16e YOU aBe NOt

iBBePLaceaBLe:

w YOU caN't Be

BePLaceo. YOU CaN't Be PBOMOteo.

(ANON)

46

MULti-taSIGiNG: tHe H16t

OF SCBeWiNG UP
eveBYtHiNG aLL
at ONCe.
(ANON)

47

NOtHiNG iS so SiMPLe tHat it

CaNNOt Be SCJoeWeD UP.
(ANON)

OPPOBtUNit iS MiSSeD B MOSt

PeOPLe Because it is DBesseD iN
oveBaLLS 8ND LOOIGS LilGe WOBIG.
(THOMas EDiSON)

THeBe aBe two IGiNDS Or

PeOPLe iN Lire: PeOPLe WHO LilGe
tHeiB JOBS 8ND PeOPLe WHO DON't
WOBIG HeBe 8N MOJoe.
(ANON)

48

WHeN YOU OWN YOUB OWN

BUSiNess, YOU ONLY Have
to WOBIG HaLF a DaY.
YOU caN DO aNYuHiNG YOU
waNt witH tHe otHeB
uWeLve HOUBS.
(ANON)

49

DRINK

SI

A C8SK'i Or WiNe WiLL WOJoK'i

MOJoe Milo8CLes tHaN a
CHUJoCH rULL Or saiNtS.
{ltiauaN)

A DJoiNK'i PJoeCeDes a StOJo.

{I Bi SH)

A DJciUNK'i M8N'S
WOJoDS a1oe a SOBeJo
M8N'S tHOUGHtS.
{ANON)

ALW8S DO SOBeJo WHat OU saiD

0U'D DO DJoUNK'i. THat WiLL teaCH
OU to K'ieep 0Ulo MOUtH SHUt.
{EBNeSti HeMMiNGWaY)

52

0
seauuYiSiN
uHe eye

OF uHe
BeeB HOLDeB.
(ANON)

53

BeeB iS PBOOf tHat

GOD Loves us aND waNtS
us to Be H8PP.
(BNJaMiN FBaN~LiN)

FOOD WitHOUt WiNe

is LiKie a Da
WitHOUt SUNSHiNe.
c1uauaN)

GOOD as DBiNKi iS,

it eNDS iN tHiBSt.
(I Bi SH)

He WHO DBiNKiS ON
CBeDit WiLL Get
DBUNKi twice.
(SBBiaN)
54

Give a MaN a fiSH aND

He Will eat fOB a oaY.
TeaCH HiM HOW to fiSH,
aND He Will Sit aeout iN
a Boat aND GUZZle
BeeB all DaY.
(ANON)

SS

If' 8LCOHOL iS a CBUtCH, tHeN

WHiSIC'.Je iS tHe WHeeLCH8iB.
(ANON)

It iS sweet to DBiNIC'.J BUt

BitteB to P8 fUB.
(I Bi SH)

ONe DBiNIC'.J iS eNOUGH, two

DBiNIC'.JS aBe too M8N. tHBee
DBiNIC'.JS aBe NOt eNOUGH.
(POBuuGuese)

THe WiNe is sweet

BUt tHe P8MeNt SOUB.
(I Bi SH)

56

THe CHUBCH iS CLose BUt tHe

B08D iS iC; tHe Balo iS f'aB
But l'LL W8LI(; ca1oef'ULL.
(16USSiaN)

THe DBUNIGeN MaN'S

JO iS USU8LL tHe
SOBeB M8N'S BeGBet.
(DaNiSH)

THe DBUNIGeN MOUtH

Lets SUP tHe
Hea1ots sec1oets.
(GeBMaN)

57

THe fiBSti DBiNJG WitiH

wateB, OHe seCOND
WiuHOUO wateB,
OHe OHiBD LiJGe wateB.
(SP8NiSH)

58

THel6e's NO H816M
iN tHe wiNe - it's tHe
01ouN1GeNNess tHat
iS to BLaMe.
(BUSSi8N)

59

THeBe al\3e M016e

OLD DBUNIC'.J8BDS tHaN
tHeBe al\3e OLD DOCtOBS.
(FBeNCH)

WHeN tHe DBiNIC'.J

Goes iN. tHe
secBets coMe out.
(ANON)

WHeN tHe DBiNIC'.J

iS iNSiDe.
tHe seNse
is outsiDe.
(l~iSH)

60

GETTING
OLD

61

AGe iS a HiGH PBiCe to pay fOB

MatuBit.
(ANON)

AGe iS Just MiND oveB MatteB: if

YOU DON't MiND, it ooesN't MatteB.
(ANON)

A WOLf MiGHt Lose HiS teetH But

NOt HiS CHaBacteB.
(ANON)

BeiNG YOUNG iS a fauLt tHat

DiMiNiSHeS oaiL.
(SWDiSH)

62

Be Nice to YOUB
CHiLDBeN; tHeY'LL Be
CHOOSiNG tHe OLD
f'OLIGS' HOMe.
(ANON)

63

BY tiHe tiiMe YOU aJoe OLD

eNOUGH to 8PPBeCiate
YOUB PaBeNtS YOU Will
Have CHiLDBeN Of YOUB
OWN WHO tatGe YOU
fOB GB8NtieD.
(ANON)

64

If tHe YOUNG ONLY IGNeW...

If tHe OLD ONLY COULD.
(FBeNCH)

INSiDe eve1oy OLDeJo PeJoSON iS a

YOUNGeJo PeJoSON ... WONDeJoiNG WHat
tHe HeLL HaPPeNeD.
(COBa HaBveY ABM.StBONG)

THe DiffeJoeNce aetweeN aDuLts

aND CHiLDJoeN iS tHat aDULtS DON't
as!G QUeStiONS.
(AM.eBiCaN)

THe MaN WHO views tHe WOJoLD at

so tHe saMe as He DiD at 20 Has
wasteD 30 yea1os of His Life.
(MUHaM.M.aD AU)

65

It's Neve1o too Late to

Lea2N. But tHeN if you've
MaDe it tHiS fal6 ...
WHY BOtHel6?
(ANON}

66

THe sec1oet Or iMMOBtaLit iS

LiViNG a Lire WOBtH BeMeMBeBiNG.
(ANON)

we DO Not stop PLaiNG Because

we GBOW OLD, we GBOW OLD
Because we stop PLaiNG!
(BNJaMiN FBaNIGLiN)

OUtH wastes awa. But

iMMatUBit OrteN
Lasts a LiretiMe.
(ANON)

67

DEATH

69

neauHis
HeBeDiu8BY.
(ANON)

70

oeatH 8LW8S
COMeS too eaBL
OB too Late.
(ENGLiSH)

oeatH is Just
NatuBe teLLiNG OU
to SLOW DOWN.
(ANON)

w OU waNt to Die DUNG. Ma!Ge

DUB DOCtOB DUB HeiB.
(BOM.aNiaN)

It iS BetteB to Die LiViNG

tHaN to Live DiNG.
(ANON)

71

WISE NEN

73

A B8D excuse iS BetteB tHaN NONe.

(SPaNiSH)

A BeuevaBLe ue is BetteB
tHaN a StUPiD fact.
c1taliaN)

A CLOSeD MOUtH catcHeS NO fUes.

c1tauaN)

AfteB 8LL iS 58iD 8ND DONe. MOBe iS

58iD tHaN DONe.
(ANON)

74

A CLOSeD MOUtH
GatHeBS NO foot.
(CHiNeSe)

75

ANGeB iS tHe outCOMe

OF tHe tONGUe WOBIGiNG
FasteB tHaN tHe BBaiN.
(ANON)

BeFOBe YOU CBitiCiZe SOMeONe.

waLIG a MiLe iN tHeiB SHOes.
(THeN WHeN YOU DO CBitiCiZe tHeM.
YOU'Be a MiLe away aND YOU
Have tHeiB SHOeS.)
(ANON)

GOOD aDViCe iS OFteN aNNOYiNG.

BaD aDvice NeveB.
(FBeNCH)

He WHO GOSSiPS to YOU WiLL

GOSSiP aBOUt YOU.
(TUB~iSH)

76

It iS BetteB to CONCeaL
ONe's KiNOWLeDGe tHaN to
BeveaL ONe's iGNOBaNCe.
(SPaNiSH)

THe DiffeBeNCe aetweeN

GeNiUS aND StUPiDit iS tHat
GeNiUS Has its LiMitS.
(ANON)

WHO KiNOWS MOSt SPeaKiS Least.

(SPaNiSH)

WiSDOM SHOULD NOt Be LiKie MONe.

tieD UP aND HiDDeN.
(GHaNa)
77

WHeN YOU OPeN a 00016,

DON't f016Get to CLOSe it.
Tl6eat YOU16 MOUtH
aCCOl6DiNGLY.
(JeWiSH}

78

THe tONGUe weiGHS

reeLativeLY NOtHiNG,
But so Few PeOPLe
caN HOLD it.
(ANON)

79

you Have two ea~s

aND ONe MOUtH.
1t is Best to use
tHeM iN tHat
PT60POT6tiON.
(ANON)

80

FOOLS

81

ABtifiCiaL iNteLLiGeNCe
iS NO MatCH f'OB
NatuBaL StUPiDitY.
(ANON)

82

CBaf't 8DViCe iS Of'teN

Got f'BOM a f'OOL.
{I Bi SH)

E8CH f'OOL iS Dif'f'eBeNt.

(GeBMaN)

EVeB ass Loves to

HeaB HiMSeLf' BB8Y.
{ANON)

EVeBBOD iS
iGNOB8Nt. ONL ON
Dif'f'eBeNt SUBJects.
{WiLL BOGeBS)

83

He WHO LaUGHS
Last; LaUGHS LONGeSt:i.
AND Has PJoOBaBLY
ONLY JUSt:i Got; t:iHe JOIGe.
(ANON}

84

w tHeleJe Wel6e NO
FOOLS. tHel6e WOULD
Be NO Wise MeN.
(Ge~MaN)

0UJ6 OWN
StUPiD actiONS
SHOULD NOt Be
CONFUSeD WitH Fate.
(ANON)

85

Neve2
UNOeT6eStiMate
tHe POWeT6 OF
StUPiD PeOPLe
iN BiG GT60UPS.
(ANON)

86

BRAYE RY
&
COWARDICE

87

8
A cowaBD WiLL aLWaS
tHiNIC'.J WitH HiS LeGS.
(ANON)

AN OLD Bat iS a BBave Bat.

(FBeNCH)

1t is eas to Be BBave
fBOM a DiStaNCe.
(Native AM.eBicaN)

It's NOt tHe Size Of tHe DOG iN tHe

fiGHt tHat MatteBs, it's tHe size of
tHe fiGHt iN tHe DOG!
(ANON)

88

IT'S ALL
IN THE NIND

89

A CLOSeD MiND
iS LiKie a CLOSeD BOOK,:
Just a BLOCK, OF WOOD.
(CHiNese)

GJoeat SPiJoitS
Have 8LW8S
eNCOUNteJoeD
ViOLeNt OPPOSitiON
FloOM MeDiOCJoe
MiNDS.
(ALBeBu EiNSueiN)

90

Gl6eat MiNDS
Discuss iDeas.
AVel6aGe MiNDS
Discuss eveNts.
SM8LL MiNDS
Discuss PeOPLe.
(ANON)

91

MiNDS aBe LilGe

PaBaCHUtieS: tiHeY ONLY
WOBIG WHeN OPeN.
(ANON)

92

TOMORROW

93

MaNaNa iS OfteN tHe

Busiest oay of tHe wee!G.
(SPaNiSH)

NeveB Put Off tiLL

tOMOBBOW WHat MaY Be DONe
tooa. DON't YOU IGNOW tHat
tOMOBBOW NeveB COMeS?
(ANON)

'ONe Of tHese D8YS' MeaNS

'NoNe of tHese oays.
(ENGLiSH)

'PBOCBastiNatiON iS tHe
tHief Of tiMe.
(ANON)
94

1
DON't PUt Off till
uOMOBBOW WHat COULD
Be DONe toDaY.
WHY NOt Give YOUBSeLf
aNotHeB weeKi?
(ANON)

95

1
THe Best tHiNG aeout
tHe Futuroe is tHat
it COMeS ONLY
oNe oay at a tiMe.
(ABBaHaM LiNCOLN}

96

PATIENCE

97

ALL tHiNGS COMe to tHOSe

WHO wait ... But tHe Best tHiNGS
WiLL Be ta!GeN BY tHOSe WHO
Get tHeBe flBSt.
(ANON)

THiNGS MaY COMe to tHOSe WHO

wait, BUt ONLY tHe tHiNGS Left BY
tHOSe WHO HUStLe.
(ABBaHaM LiNCOLN)

98

''''
PESSINISN

99

A PeSSiMiSt iS NeveB DiS9PPOiNteD.

(ANON)

He tHat Lives ON HOPe

WiLL Die faStiNG.
(NOBtH AM.eBiCaN)

THe NaiL tHat StiCIGS UP iS SUBe to

Be H9MMeBeD DOWN.
(JaPaNese)

THe PeSSiMiSt sees

DiffiCULt iN eveB
OPPOBtUNit. THe OPtiMiSt
sees OPPOBtUNit iN
eveB DiffiCULt.
(WiNStON CHUBCHiLL)

100

' '' '

THel6e's NO POiNt
iN talGiNG Lire sel6iOUSLY;
NO-oNe Gets out auve.
(ANON}

IOI

THe Boao to success is aLways

UNDeB CONStBUCtiON.
(ABNOLD PaLM.eB)

THeBe iS NO seNse
iN BeiNG PeSSiMiStiC.
It WOULDN't WOBK'i 8NYW8.
(ANON)

YOU caNNOt UNSCBaMBLe eGGS.

(NOBtH AM.eBiCaN)

YOU'LL NeveB K'iNOW tHe WOBtH OF

tHe wateB tiLL tHe weLL Goes DB.
(SCOttiSH)

'

102

TRUTH
&
LIES

103

A Lie tBaveLS BOUND tHe

WOBLD WHiLe tBUtH iS StiLL
PUttiNG ON HeB BOOtS.
(FBeNCH)

A LittLe tBUtH WiLL HeLP

tHe Lie GO DOWN.
c1taliaN)

cBaftiNess Must Have

CLOtHeS But tBUtH LilG'eS
to GO NalG'eD.
(ENGLiSH)

104

HiStiOEY iS a catiaLOGUe
Of' Lies COMPiLeD
BY tiHOSe iN CH8EGe.
(ANON)

105

If' OU BeLieve eveBtHiNG OU

Beao. BetteB Not Beao.
(JaPaNese)

ues NeveB settLe tHe PaMeNt.

(CJcmatiaN)

ONCe iN a WHiLe OU WiLL StUMBLe

UPON tHe tBUtH But MOSt Of us
MaNaGe to PiCIG OUBSeLves UP
8ND HUBB 8LONG as if NOtHiNG
HaD H8PPeNeD.
(WiNStON CHUBCHiLL)

ONe Lie BUiNS a tHOUS8ND tBUtHS.

(SOUtH Af Bi Ca)

106

A BUMOUB Goes
iN ONe eaB aND
out MaNY MOUtHS.
(CHiNeSe)

107

SPealG tHe tBUtH.

But tHeN Leave iMMeDiateLY.
(SLoveNia)

'THe 69 so: iS H9LF a Lie.

c1uauaN)

TBUtH 9ND OiL WiLL 9LW9S Ma!Ge

tHeiB W9 to tHe SUBFace.
(SPaNiSH)

108

NO NEY

109

A PiG BOUGHt
ON CBeDit
iS fOBeVeB
GBUNtiNG.
(SPaNiSH)

DON't OffeB Me
aovice:
Give Me MONe.
(SPaNiSH)

110

w YOU tHiNIG NO-ONe caBes

wHetHeB you'Be DeaD OB auve.
tBY MiSSiNG a COUPLe Of
MOBtGaGe P9YMeNtS.
(ANON)

If BiCH PeOPLe COULD HiBe

OtHeB PeOPLe to Die fOB tHeM.
POOB PeOPLe WOULD Ma!Ge a
WONDeBfUL LiViNG.
(YiDDiSH)

111

If YOU LeND SOMeONe

c10 aND NeveB see tHeM
aGaiN, iu was PBOBaBLY
WOBuH iu.
(ANON)

112

LeND 0Ulo MONe 8ND

Lose ou1o f'JoieND.
(ENGLiSH)

MONe 8ND tHe DeViL DO NOt 1oest.

(SeBBiaN)

Jo8tHeJo f'8iL
WitH HONOUJo tH8N
succeeo B r1oauo.
(SOPHOCLS)

TO Be JoiCH iS NOt
eve1otHiNG. BUt it
ce1otaiNL HeLPS.
(YiDDiSH)

113

THe QUiCkJest WHY

to DOUBLe DUB MONe
iS to fOLD it iN H9Lf
9ND PUt it B9CkJ iN
DUB POCkJet.
(ANON)

DUNG G9MBLeBs.
OLD BeGG9BS.
(Ge~M.aN)

114

HAPPINESS

115

HaPPiNess iS aLL aBOUti

LilGiNG WHati YOU DO aND
DOiNG WHati YOU LilGe.
(ANON)

116

H8PPiNess iS NOt H8ViNG WHat OU

waNt. But waNtiNG WHat OU Have.
(ANON)

Ta!Ge BiSIGS:

w DU WiN. OU

WiLL Be H8PP; if OU DONt

DU WiLL Be Wise.
(ANON)

THe Less OU UNDeBstaND. tHe

H8PPieB OU WiLL Be.
(ANON)

DU caN tUBN DOLL8BS iNtO ceNtS.

OB seNse iNtO DOLL8BS. But NOt

DOLL8BS iNtO seNse.
(AMe~iCaN)

117

FRIENDS

&
FOES

119

BetteB a fBieNDL BefusaL tHaN

aN UNWiLLiNG accePtaNce.
(GeBM.aN)

BOtH 0Ul6 fBieND aND 0Ul6 eNeM

tHiNIG OU WiLL NeveB Die.
(I Bi SH)

FLatteB Ma!GeS f BieNDS;

tBUtH eNeMies.
(SPaNiSH)

FeeD 0Ul6 HOBSe as OU WOULD a

fBieND But MOUNt HiM as aN eNeM.
(CBOatiaN)

120

FBieNOS aBe LilGe fiDDLe

StBiNGS; tHeY MUSt Not Be
scBeweo too tiGHt.
(ENGLiSH)

121

GOOD feNces MaiGe

GOOD NeiGHBOUJoS
(tHe iGeeP tHe soDs out!)
(ANON)

A GUiLt CONSCieNCe
iS a LiVeL eNeM.
(INDiaN)

Life WitH NO fJoieNDS iS Li!Ge

DeatH WitH NO WitNesses.
(SPaNiSH)

Love 0Ulo NeiGHBOUJoS. But DON't

PULL DOWN tHe feNCe.
(CHiNeSe)

122

Love YOUlo eNeMieS;

it's Gua1oaNteeo to
Pi SS uHeM Off!
(ANON)

123

WHeN YOUB eNeMY f8LLS,

DON't BeJOiCe. BUt DON't
PiCK, HiM UP eitHeB.
(iDDiSH)

124

'

"'

.,,..

-.: '

yes, f'016GiVe YOUT6

eNeMies WHeNeve2
you caN, But aLways
16eMeMBe16 tHei16 NaMeS.
(ANON)

125

WOMEN

127

A Bao L8BOUB. aND

a oauGHteB afteB aLL.
(SPaNiSH)

A BLiND MaN'S Wife

Neeos NO PaiNt.
(SPaNiSH)

A House WitHOUt a WOMaN iS tHe

oeviL'S OWN LODGiNG.
(INDiaN)

AS tHe Best WiNe Ma!GeS tHe

SHaBPest ViNeGaB. so caN tHe
tBuest LOVeB tUBN iNtO tHe
WOBSt eNeM.
(ANON)
128

A BeautifUL WOMaN
BeLONGS to eveJoYONe
But aN UGLY WOMaN
iS 8LL YOU'J65.
(INDiaN)

129

CHOOSe NeitHeB a WOMaN NOB

LiNeN B caNDLeLiGHt.
c1taliaN)

FOBtuNe iS Li!Ge a WOM8N:

If OU NeGLeCt HeB tOD8. DO NOt
expect to BeGaiN HeB tOMOBBOW.
(FBeNCH)

THeBe aBe two tHeOBies

aaout aBGUiNG WitH WOMeN.
NeitHeB WOBIGS.
(ANON)

AGe iS tHe ONL tOPiC WOMeN

WiLL 1GeeP Quiet aaout.
(GeBM.aN)

130

NEN

131

A MaN iS a PeBSON WHO taKieS out

tHe BUBBiSH, tHeN MaKieS out He
Has Just CLeaNeo tHe House.
(ANON)

BeHiND eve1o successruL

MaN tHe1oes a GBeat ...
N8G, N8G, N8G.
(ANON)

132

MARRIAGE

133

A Deaf' HUSBaND aND a BLiND Wire

a1oe tHe PeBFect HaPP COUPLe.
(ANON)

A JeaLOUS LOVeB WiLL BeCOMe aN

iNDif'f'eBeNt spouse.
(MXiCaN)

A POOB Beaut flNDS MOBe LOVeBS

tHaN HUSBaNDS.
(ENGLiSH)

134

A GOOD HUSBaND iS
HeaLtHY aND aBSeNt.
(JaPaNese)

135

A Wife iS fBiGHteNeD Of HeB fiBSt

HUSB8ND. A HUSB8ND iS fBiGHteNeD
Of HiS seCOND Wife.
(SBBiaN)

A Wife's aovice iS NOt WOBtH MUCH.

BUt woe to tHe HUSB8ND WHO
Befuses to taKie it.
(WLSH)

He WHO M816Bies fOB

MONe WiLL eaBN it.
(AMBiCaN)

If OU waNt to Be
CBitiCizeo. Get M816BieD.
(I Bi SH)

136

M8Joloi8Ge iS LiKie a GJoOUND Nut.

YOU MUSt CJo8CKi it to
see WHat'S iNSiDe.
(GHaNa)

Neve1o MaKie a
PJoettY WOM8N
YOUJo Wife.
(JaMaicaN)

GJoief fOJo a HUSB8ND

iS LiKie a P8iN iN tHe eLBOW
- SH8JoP 8ND SHOJot.
(ENGLiSH)

137

THe f'iBSti MaBBiaGe

iS a DiSH Of' HONeY,
tiHe seCOND a Glass Of' WiNe,
tiHe tiHiBD a CUP Of' POiSON.
(SeBBiaN)

138

NeveB MaBBY f'OB

MONeY; YOU Will
BOBBOW it CHeaPeB.
(SCOuuiSH)

139

GOD
&THE
DEVIL

141

Be NeitHeB iNtiMate
NOB DiStaNt WitH
tHe CLeBG.
(I Bi SH)

BetteB tHe DeViL

YOU IGNOW tHaN
tHe DeViL YOU DON't.
(ENGLiSH)

GOD Gives tHe Nuts.

BUt He DOeSN't
CBaCIG tHeM.
(GeBMaN)

142

GOD iS BiGGeJo
tHaN 0Ulo
PloOBLeMS.
(MeXiCaN)

GOD SUPPLies
tHe MiLIG
But NOt tHe JUG.
(Ge~MaN)

143

He WHO SUPS WitH

tHe oeviL Has Neeo
Of' a LONG SPOON.
(ENG Li SH)

144

If GOD DiDN't
fOBGiVe SiNNeBs.
HeaveN WOULD
Be eMPt.
(Ge~MaN)

If GOD uveD ON
eaBtH. PeOPLe WOULD
BBealG HiS WiNDOWS.
(JeWiSH)

If tHe PatieNt Dies.

tHe DOCtOB Has IG'iLLeD HiM;
if He Gets weLL. tHe
saiNts Have saveD HiM.
c1uauaN)

145

THe oevn~s
Boots
ooN't c1oea1G.
(SCOttiSH)

146

THe oeviL
Neve16 G168NtS
LONG Leases.
(IBiSH)

147

we aBe aLL eQuaL iN

tHe eeS Of GOD 9ND
BUS DBiVeBS.
(Ge~M.aN)

148

P.C.
PROVERBS

149

A JOUJ6NeY Of a
tHOUS9ND Sites BeGiNS
WitH Just ONe CLiCIG.

DONt BYte Off

MOJ6e tHaN YOU
caN view.

THe eMaiL Of
tHe species is fal\3
oeaouel\3 tHaN
tHe M9iL.

150

Fax iS StBaNGeB
tHaN fiCtiON.

IN Gates we tBUSt.

OU CaN't teaCH a
New Mouse
OLD CLiCIGS.

THe Message is
iN tHe MODeM.

151

THe GeeiG
SH9LL iNHeBit
tHe ea1otH.

TOO M9N
CLiCIGS SPOiL
tHe MessaGe.

use1os aND tHeiB

LeiSUBe tiMe
aloe SOON PaBteo.

152

vi~tuaL ~eauty is
its OWN ~ewa~o.

WHat BOOtS UP
MUSt COMe DOWN.

WiNDOWS WiLL
Neve~ cease.

153

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154