Leadership That LastsHow to Go the Distance in Childrens Ministry

How do you go the distance?

Lasting doesnt happen by accident...preparation you must make and pitfalls you
must avoid.

How many Pastors leave the ministry each month due to moral failure,
spiritual burnout, or contention in their churches?

1. 1,500
2. 500
3. 1200
4. 900

What percentage of pastors marriages end in divorce?

1. 10%
2. 30%
3. 25%
4. 50%

What percentage of pastors feel unqualified and discouraged in their role?

1. 38%
2. 84%
3. 76%
4. 41%

What percentage of pastors wives feel unqualified and discouraged in

their role?

1. 65%
2. 55%
3. 80%
4. 25%
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Leadership That LastsHow to Go the Distance in Childrens Ministry

What percentage of pastors are so discouraged that they would leave the
ministry if they could, but have no other way of making a living?

1. 75%
2. 50%
3. 35%
4. 15%

What percentage of seminary and Bible school graduates who enter the
ministry will leave the ministry within the first five years?

1. 13%
2. 80%
3. 21%
4. 40%

What percentage of pastors polled said they have had an extra-marital

affair?

1. 5%
2. 20%
3. 40%
4. 14%

What percentage of pastors spouses feel their spouse is overworked?

1. 80%
2. 100%
3. 75%
4. 57%

Leadership That LastsHow to Go the Distance in Childrens Ministry

What percentage of pastors spouses wish their spouse would choose

another profession?

1. 28%
2. 90%
3. 80%
4. 43%

What surprised you? Why did it surprise you?

What did not surprise you? Why were you not surprised?
At the age of 20 in his Bible, John Bisagno wrote 24 names of friends, peers and
colleagues in his Bible. These were young ministers. From time to time he
returned to these names to mark out those who left ministry. Thirty-three years
later, only 3 names remained.
How many of you know someone who has crashed out of ministry?
One of the most simple but important statements you will ever hear in ministry.
The best way to be successful in ministry is to stay in ministry.
Greatness in ministry not measured in years but in decades
Paul sitting in prison in Rome, waiting to be executed. Looking back over his
ministry and he pens these words
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course,
I have kept the faith.
Paul in 2 Timothy 4:7(NLT)
Wow! Dont you want to be able to say that at the end of your life?
In this passage gives us the three key areas of our lives that we have to maintain
and care for if we are going to being a leader that last. Look at the pitfalls and
preparation/disciplines you need in each of those areas.
I.

FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course,
I have kept the faith.
Paul in 2 Timothy 4:7(NLT)
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Leadership That LastsHow to Go the Distance in Childrens Ministry

We are in a war against an enemy.

For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers
and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world,
and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.
Ephesians 6:12 (NLT)
The thief's purpose is to steal and kill and destroy.
John 10:10
Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a
roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.
I Peter 5:8

Consequently lions have developed two main hunting methods. The first is
a version of grandmother's footsteps, in which the lion stalks from cover to
cover with a final burst of speed at the end. (stalks and then pounces
upon at last minute when you hear the roar its too late)

The second method is to find a bush close to something the prey needs usually water - climb in and wait. (will attack you in areas you need
something lonely, intimacy, recognition, love, acceptance, admiration,
etc.)

Things that help the lion considerably. First theyre incredibly good at
hiding and phenomenally patient. (enemy is good at disguising himself
best trick is for you to think he is not even there)

Secondly, the antelopes, while physically fast, are mentally not quite so
sprightly and pay perhaps too little attention to learning from their
mistakes. George Schaller (who researched lion in the Serengeti and
surrounding areas) recounts watching a group of Thomson's gazelles
crossing a patch of thick bush in order to drink. When they entered the
thick bush, it was bristling with lions that instantly grabbed and ate one of
the gazelles. Over the next two hours the same group of gazelles, having
apparently forgotten the recent murder of one of their companions, tried
not once but twice more to get to the water using the same routewith
predictable results. (see other people fall instead of learning from
mistakes repeat them)

The enemy seeks to devour you through these pitfalls

Pitfall # 1 - Lust
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Leadership That LastsHow to Go the Distance in Childrens Ministry

Pitfall #2 - Greed money, power, fame

Pitfall #3 - Pride fill you with pride, lead you to start relying on your
knowledge, giftedness, talents.

Prep #1 Stay Close.

My sheep listen to My voice; I know them, and they follow Me.
John 10:27

Safest place to be is close to the shepherd.

Rod and a staff that can drive back the enemy.
Staying close to the shepherd shows total dependence on Him.
Dont get so busy doing ministry that you dont spend time with Jesus.
Jesus went up on a mountainside and called to Him those He wanted, and they
came to Him. He appointed twelve that they might be with Him and that He
might send them out to preach 15
Mark 3:13-14
.
Prep #2 - Stay together.
Lion cant get to the sheep as easy when they are in a pack looks for the ones
that are by themselves
A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand
back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a
triple-braided cord is not easily broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:12
Alone attacked and defeated
With others whove got your back, who know you, who will hold you accountable
Friends you can share with, safe place to talk, close to staff, accountability
partner, people who watch out for you

People that ask you the tough questions and hold you accountable

Leadership That LastsHow to Go the Distance in Childrens Ministry

If you are married stay close to your wife stay in love with your wife
there will always be eye candy but a godly person is someone who
keeps their eyes focused on the person God sent to them. Love your wife.

Dont be a lone ranger. You will get ambushed and you wont survive
Prep #3 - Stay alert.
Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a
roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.
I Peter 5:8
See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise,
redeeming the time, because the days are evil.
Ephesians 5:15-16
Walk circumspectly - 360 degree watch circumspectly like soldier walking
thru jungle
Enemy knows your weak spots Hebrews 12 sin that so easily besets you
knows how to come at you
When it comes to preparing to be alert - One of the greatest things you can do is
be aware of yourselfbe self alert.
Prep #4 - Stay armed.
GODS ARMOR
Prep #5 Stay on your knees.
Says in the very next verse.
Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent
in your prayers for all believers everywhere.
Ephesians 6:18
Must walk with God closely thru prayer.
When you see someone fall you can usually trace it back to the person drawing
back from their walk with God.
Temptation is too get too busy doing the ministry that you stop walking with God.

Leadership That LastsHow to Go the Distance in Childrens Ministry

Dont get so busy working for God that you dont have time for God to work on
you.
When God is working in you then He can work thru you.
Prep #6 - Stay teachable.
Pride opens the door for us to stumble and fall.
The Bible warns us in I Corinthians 10 to be careful. When you think you are
standingwhen you think you are okaywhen you get pridefulbe carefula
fall is coming.
Key way is to staying humble.
Dont believe your press reports. Either way.

II. KEEP THE FAITH

Another area he talks about in 2 Timothy is this
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course,
I have kept the faith.
Paul in 2 Timothy 4:7(NLT)
He said I have kept the faith.
Commentators
I have steadfastly maintained the faith of the gospel
I have lived a life of fidelity to my Master.
He had spent a life in faithfully serving his Lord.
In spite of every opposition and affliction he has remained true.
The enemy seeks to pervert the faiththe Gospel
In our lives he seeks to weaken our faith and trust in God.
He seeks to weaken our faith thru
Pitfall #4 - Unforgiveness
Heres a factif you are in ministry, you are going to get hurt!
Paul said "Demas hath forsaken me
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Leadership That LastsHow to Go the Distance in Childrens Ministry

"Alexander the coppersmith did me much evil;"
"No man stood with me;"

People you pour your life into are going to turn their back on you.

You are going to have people lie about you.

People are going to misunderstand and question your motives.

Volunteers that you thought were with you 110% will quit on you and leave
the church.

Parents are going to complain to the Pastor about you without just cause.

Youre going to try to change something and people who cant see beyond
their pew will oppose it.

You may even get burned by a fellow staff member.

Well known pastor said

95% of the church is great; 5% is not so hot; and1% of that is down right nasty.
How many have met that 1%?
How many of you are thinking of someone right now? No names please!
That 1% is everywhere you go!
Enemy wants you to be angrywants you to harbor unforgiveness in your heart.
Unforgiveness is the single most popular poison that the enemy uses against
God's people, and it is one of the deadliest poisons a person can take spiritually.
Pitfall #5 - Bitterness
Bitterness and unforgiveness are very closely related
Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you,
corrupting many.
Hebrews 12:15
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Leadership That LastsHow to Go the Distance in Childrens Ministry

What is a root? A root is a source that is lying under the surface.

Can everybody see a root? No, because it's hidden under the soil or surface. The
same is true with bitterness in a person's soul. It is a hidden element that lies
under the surface, and out of it springs up anger and other negative emotions
against others and against the circumstances around us.
Many people who have been hurt, don't express it on the outside, but rather hold
the hurt and bitter feelings inside where they fester and grow.
Enemy will try to make you bitter toward other people
o You will be wronged
o Lied about
o Mistreated
o Misrepresented
o Misunderstood
o Betrayed
Enemy will try to put bitterness in your heart to turn your heart callous, indifferent,
cold, so that you end up just going thru the motions.
Enemy will even try to make you bitter toward God
o There will be times when you do not understand why God allowed
something to happen.
o You will pray for a child to be healed of cancer and they will pass away.
o You will stand by the coffin and look into the eyes of the mother and not
know what to say.
o You will see good people suffer while evil people prosper.
o You may even face personal pain and suffering. Doing my best to serve
you, why is this happening?
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Leadership That LastsHow to Go the Distance in Childrens Ministry

o You will ask God why? And thats okay. Jesus asked why on the cross.
o Sometimes you may get an answer to your why question and many times
you will not.
Pitfall #6 Discouragement
o Times when you will spend hundreds of hours on a new program or ministry
and it will flop
o There will be times when you ask 5 people to serve and you will get 5 nos.
o There will be times when you make a very stupid mistake and you get
reprimanded for it.
o There will be times when your ministry is not growing.
o There will be times when your leadership ability is questioned.
o There will be times when you will realize youre in way over your head.
o There will be times when it seems like the kids are not listening to anything
you are teaching.
o There will be times when 5 of your key volunteers will not show upand not
call to let you know.
o There will be times when you find the take home papers you passed out
littering the parking lot.
o There will be times when the needs are great but the budget is lean.
The enemy will come in and sit on your shoulder. Tell you that youre a lousy
childrens pastor, tell you that you werent really called into childrens ministry, tell
you that you should quit, tell you that you cant do the job.
A big pitfall is discouragement.
God doesnt want you to be discouraged. He wants you to be encouraged, He
wants you to be as thrilled about serving Him as the first day He called your
name.

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Leadership That LastsHow to Go the Distance in Childrens Ministry

Prep # 7 - Stay Focused.

Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the
founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him
endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the
throne of God.
Hebrews 12:1-2
Must keep our eyes on Jesus
Ill of Peter walking on water
Churches will make mistakes
Situations will change
Must be prepared to keep our eyes on Jesus.

Prep #9 - Stay positive

I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 3:14
Know that with Christ you can do anything He asks you to do.
Keep your faith in people.
Are you going to be burned sometimes?
Yesbut love people anyways and believe in them.
Surround yourself with positive people if you want to stay positive.
Always will be some negative people who come at you
Negative people. They're like human black holes which suddenly come out of
nowhere and just suck the life out of you. You try to stay positive and remain
strong but their negativity ends up just completely draining you, you feel
exhausted,
You should always borrow money from pessimists. They dont expect it back.
How many pessimists does it take to change a light bulb? Why bother? Its going
to burn out anyways.
No matter what you do someone will be negative.
Be kind to them, but dont let them be the influencers in your life
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Leadership That LastsHow to Go the Distance in Childrens Ministry

There can be a temptation over the years to get cynical.
You will meet older pastors who are bitter and cynical. Dont let that be you. Stay
positive!
If youre going to go the distanceif youre going to be a childrens ministry
leader that laststhen you have to
-fight the good fight
-keep the faith
There is a third area that Paul says is key to being a childrens ministry leader
that lasts In 2 Timothy 4:7
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course,
I have kept the faith.
Paul in 2 Timothy 4:7(NLT)
III. FINISH THE COURSE
Paul used a lot of sport analogies. Here he uses the analogy of a running a race.
In his day there were Olympic style games that involved races.
(have someone read)
Dont you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the
prize? So run to win! 25 All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to
win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. 26 So I run with
purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. 27 I discipline my body like an
athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to
others I myself might be disqualified. 1 Corinthians 9:24
Enemy wants to keep you from finishing your course. He wants you to stumble
to fallto be disqualified.
Pitfall #7 - Envy

Have you comparing yourself with others.

Have wanting someone elses ministry position

Upset because another department in the church gets more budget

money than yours I know thats never happened to you

Envious over the church down the street that is growing faster than yours
or that has a nicer building than yours

Pitfall #8 - Failure
o Wants you to stay down when you make mistakes
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Leadership That LastsHow to Go the Distance in Childrens Ministry

o Wants you to stay down when you dont succeed
Pitfall #9 - Burnout
o Wants you to get burned out mentally
o Wants you to get burned out physically
o Wants you to get burned out emotionally
o Wants you to get burned out relationally
o Wants you to get burned out spiritually
You can by a Childrens Ministry Leader that lasts if you finish the course. To
finish the course you must
Prep #10 - Stay faithful.
His master said to him, Well done, good and faithful servant.
Matthew 25:21
Dont pray for success. Pray for faithfulness.
In some translations it read I have finished MY course
Envy causes you to look over at someone elses course instead of being faithful
to the course God has planned for you.
Dont try to run on someone elses course. God designed a course just for you
and no one can complete it but you.
God designed one you. Dont try to be someone else. No one can be youbut
you!
Dont be a second rate version of someone else. Be a first rate version of
yourself.
Its our job to run the course...not design it.
Your course is going to take you up mountain tops and down in valleys.
Through sunshine and through storms.
Good time and bad times.
Joy and sorrow.
Sickness and health.
Course is not going to make sense sometimes.
Course will involve pain sometimes.
Course will involve tough times.
But remain faithful.
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Leadership That LastsHow to Go the Distance in Childrens Ministry

There were others who were tortured, refusing to be released so that they might
gain an even better resurrection. 36 Some faced jeers and flogging, and even
chains and imprisonment. 37 They were put to death by stoning;[e] they were
sawed in two; they were killed by the sword. They went about in sheepskins and
goatskins, destitute, persecuted and mistreated 38 the world was not worthy of
them. They wandered in deserts and mountains, living in caves and in holes in
the ground.
39
These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had
been promised, 40 since God had planned something better for us so that only
together with us would they be made perfect.
Hebrews 11:35-40
Will you remain faithful no matter what?
When ministry is not growing?
When budget is cut?
When sickness comes?
When conflict comes?
The Christian life is a tough act. Life is a tough act.
If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesnt lead anywhere.
Psalm 119 Gods Word is a light to our pathour coursedoesnt shine miles
down the roadjust far enough to take the next step.
Stay faithful.one step at a timeIf you finish the courseit will be by faithfully
taking one step at a time.
If youre going to finish the courseyoure going to have to
Prep #12 - Stay steady.
And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.
Hebrews 12:1
How do you run with endurance? Find a steady pace you can run at.
Marathon not a sprint must pace yourself.
Like in a marathon people that start off wide open and dont pace themselves
dont win. They burn out down the track.
Great runners know how to pace themselves. They run evenly.
Over the years seen a lot of people start off fast in ministry and then crash.
How do you avoid burnout mentally?
It is amazing the pressure that you will face in ministry.
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Leadership That LastsHow to Go the Distance in Childrens Ministry

I have worked much harder, been in prison more frequently, been flogged more
severely, and been exposed to death again and again. Five times I received from
the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I
was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open
sea, I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in
danger from bandits, in danger from my own countrymen, in danger from
Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in
danger from false brothers. I have labored and toiled and have often gone
without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food;
I have been cold and naked. Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure
of my concern for all the churches.
2 Corinthians 11:23-28
Pressure above all this other stuff
Pressure is always thereand it will drain your tank!
Stay filled up mentally
How do you stay filled up mentally?
Mental stress will burn you out stress really can have a big affect on your body
Stress now contributes to 90% of all diseases. Half of all visits to doctors are
stress-related.
Why is pastoral ministry so stressful?
tasks are never done
workaholism ('bed-at-the-church' syndrome)
feeling of incompetence in leading an army of volunteers
conflict in being a leader and servant at the same time
confusion of role identity with self image - pastors derive too much selfesteem from what they do
multiplicity of roles
loneliness - less likely to have a close friend than any other person in the
community.
in our counseling we're exposed almost exclusively to the negative sides
of people's lives.
Stay filled up physically
Ways to stay filled up physically
-rest
-take day off / God took a day off / one of the ten commandments is to remember
the Sabbath day of rest sin to not take day off

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Leadership That LastsHow to Go the Distance in Childrens Ministry

-we think we are spiritual because you work 7 days a week. No it is not
spiritualit is sinful.
-exercise
-eat healthy
-get your sleep
-take your vacation / its okay not to go to church when you are on vacation
-Important to stay physically healthy
Stay filled up emotionally
-very close to mentally and could make one in the same but want to differentiate

mentally I am talking about stress

emotionally I am talking about wide range of emotions you feel in ministry

can be an emotional rollercoaster

-walk out of great Bible study with your 3rd graders to be told that a preschooler
got sick and threw up all over the new carpet.
-big events adrenaline will get so high and then come crashing down the next
week
-have a new family come to Christ and then have a family thats been around
forever come up and complain because you dropped the program their great
grandmother started 45 years ago
-get a new volunteer one week and the next week a key volunteer decides to join
the adult choir and quit
Many times we are the source of the emotional pressure
You are in ministry because you are driven.
Because you are so driven, ministry can consume you emotionally.
We feel the same emotional pressure that Paul felt. We see the world around us
and realize there will always be more people to reachmore people to disciple!
Have a burden for the worldbut dont let the burden bury you!
Ways to stay filled emotionally
-sometimes you need to get away from people
-that may mean going out of town for a day or weekend
-means setting boundaries and saying no
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Leadership That LastsHow to Go the Distance in Childrens Ministry

-most people in ministry are people pleasers we are wired that way hard to
say no learn to say no
Learn to say no Jesus didnt heal everyone sometimes we got in the boat and
left people standing on the shore
Remember you are responsible to people but not for people
People leaving the church dont take it personally
No matter what you do people will bolt on you
Learn to deal with criticism can emotionally drain you

Remember everyone is criticized.

Learn to respond not react.

Look for the grain of truth in the criticism.

If you see more than a grain of truth and you cant process it alone, seek
feedback from the safe person in your life.

Give them your ear, but within reason. Dont allow someone to destroy you
with caustic criticism

Have fun enjoy the journey force yourself to slow down and smell the roses
Dont take yourself so seriously laugh at yourself
Those who cant laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
Important to stay emotionally healthy
Stay filled up relationally
-Relationships - primarily talking about family
-Family can get short-changed
-come home relationally drained been around people all day not much room
left for family
-What does it profit if you gain the win the whole world yet lose your own family?
Keep family first
If we are not careful, we can get in a pattern of not worshiping with our own
family. When is the last time you worshiped with your spouse? With your kids?
We must not to sacrifice worshiping with our family for the sake of kidmin.
Weekends such as Christmas and Easter can be extremely busy in kidmin. But
make sure you carve out time to attend a service in "big" church with your family.
Don't look back and regret not attending worship with your family.
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Leadership That LastsHow to Go the Distance in Childrens Ministry

ball game and ministry event choose ball game!
They left Memphis about the same time, traveling down the Mississippi River to
New Orleans. As they traveled side by side, sailors from one vessel made a few
remarks about the snails pace of the other. Words were exchanged. Challenges
were made. And the race began. Competition became vicious as the two boats
roared through the Deep South.
One boat began falling behind. Not enough fuel. There had been plenty of coal
for the trip, but not enough for a race. As the boat dropped back, an enterprising
young sailor took some of the ships cargo and tossed it into the ovens. When the
sailors saw that the supplies burned as well as the coal, they fueled their boat
with the material they had been assigned to transport. They ended up winning
the race, but burned their cargo.
God has entrusted cargo to us, too: children, spouses, friends. Our job is to do
our part in seeing that this cargo reaches its destination.
-Made some mistakes in this area when my kids were younger - me and Josh
story
Stay filled up spiritually
-can get burned out spiritually
-just going through the motions
-spiritually empty inside
-gotta serve from the spiritual overflow
-be bigger on the inside than you are on the outside
-How?
-Walk with Jesus! Spend time in prayer for your personal relationship.
-Read Bible not for the lesson but for your own spiritual growth
-Attending the adult service or "going to big church" as we in kidmin often refer to
it.
I can see Paul sitting there in prison. Think he knew he was at the finish line. May
have even penned these words as he heard the ax being sharpened that would
end his life.
And then I think he gets a glimpse over the finish line as he writes
8

And now the prize awaits me - the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the
righteous Judge, will give me on the day of his return. And the prize is not just for
me but for all who eagerly look forward to his appearing.
2 Timothy 4:8
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Leadership That LastsHow to Go the Distance in Childrens Ministry

It will be worth it all when you cross the finish line.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us
throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us
run with perseverance the race marked out for us.
Hebrews 12:1
Another race analogy is used.
Like a relay race.
The men and women of God listed have gone on before us. They have ran their
part of the race. You can add to that list mentors, perhaps parents, grandparents,
or others you know who have served the Lord and already crossed the finish line.
Theyve handed you the baton. And now they are cheering for you to go the
distanceto finish your part of the race.
Interesting back in Hebrews 11, the writer says
Weve got to finish our part of the race.
After everyone has completed their part of the course there will be a big
celebration at the finish line.
What are we going to celebrate?
Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the
righteous Judge, will award to me on that dayand not only to me, but also to all
who have longed for His appearing.
2 Timothy 4:8
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize?
Run in such a way as to get the prize. 25 Everyone who competes in the games
goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to
get a crown that will last forever.
1 Corinthians 9:24-25

Crown used to honor winners in Pauls day of games first was a crown of laurel
leaves, then changed to wild celery or fir twig. As soon as they put it on it began
to wilt and fade away.
Our prize is an incorruptible crown, not a crown of laurel leaves, or wild celery
or a fir twig. The reward that Jesus has in store for every man, woman and child
who crosses the finish line faithfully, is an eternal crown, that will never lose its
value or its glory.
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Leadership That LastsHow to Go the Distance in Childrens Ministry

Heres the key thing. The celebration wont be about us.
Crowns cast at his feet and worship and praise Him. He is what makes the
finish line so wonderful.
Whenever the living creatures give glory, honor and thanks to Him who sits on
the throne and who lives forever and ever, the twenty-four elders fall down before
Him who sits on the throne, and worship Him who lives for ever and ever. They
lay their crowns before the throne and say: You are worthy, our Lord and God, to
receive glory and honor and power, for You created all things, and by Your will
they were created and have their being.
Revelation 4

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